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yusiyomogi · 2 months

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I wanted to ask you if there were any notable differences with Mithrun's dialogue in a few specific scenes, or anything of note when he says "Free yourself" to Thistle, the scene with Marcille where he says, "Do you have any idea how empty that will leave you", generally speaking, when he's trying to show care and compassion and empathy, like the therapy scene, and what he says to Marcille there about love, too. I guess I'm wondering if there's any difference with how they're displayed, because, for instance, I've seen people say that he's cruel to Thistle, and I see the ruthlessness easy, but I can also read the autistic sense of justice, which, although people laud this as a "good" thing, it can be really single-minded and actually pretty unconcerned with "right" or "wrong".

It sort of has a way, to me, as an autistic person, of mirroring Laios wanting Senshi to eat the griffin—to know and be free because that's the only way forward, just. Harsher.

Also, um. His interaction with Kabru, too! When he goes on to ask him what he wants to do, or really just that panel. Their interaction. And... um? When he says about Falin, "If she wants to, she will."

Anyway, besides that, it also screams "meltdown", on a further look. He's very restless and distressed and that seems clear. I think he's kind of trying to rush out the conclusion he wants, maybe mistakenly believing he's more cool-headed than he is, and people trust him, I think, because he seems capable, I see a lot of, "he just doesn't care", but he's not very tuned into his emotions, and I think not really caring about the consequences if he can get what he really wants. Some people see malice, but I think his care is genuine, though I sort of believe he's also wanting his conclusion to happen as fast as possible—trying to force it out, and really not as stable as he may seem.

People will say "He doesn't care at all", but then I feel like...? Why try, if you don't care? And I was wondering about that, I guess.

Sorry if this is a big ask. I have Thoughts™️.

if you're asking me about japanese version, i'm sorry to tell you that i'm not that good at it :D. the only noticeable difference i see from his usual way of talking is that mithrun puts a lot of emphasis in his speech when he's trying to persuade other dungeon lords (he ends almost every sentence with [だ], which is usually a sign on emotional speech). but it's already pretty obvious from the meaning of what he says. the one that looks interesting to me is this panel, his pleading face and the way he says [お前になわからないか] "don't you understand?" works so well, it feels like he's truly empathetic here.

when people say that he acted cruel and violent, i say: yeah, and that's the point! mithrun, while being in many ways a unique character, is also an example of very old and very very common character archetype: he's a desperate and angry broken person who wants revenge and literally destroys himself in the process. it's almost impossible to write a character like that without them being cruel or cold or uncaring to other people, would any kind of redemption and healing even be interesting to see if they were perfectly nice, well-adjusted person?

the only reason to even talk about this is to analyze the cycle of cruelty traumatized people often find themselves in. to see how horrible the impact truly is, because kui does a great job portraying this. mithrun didn't even start as a good person, he was already at a pretty bad place mentally before his trauma. and guess what, any form of mental illness and trauma doesn't usually make you a better person, even if it changes you. when you have no desires, it's already kinda difficult to have any love, patience or care for people. what kind of person anyone would be when they don't wanna have friends, to love, to be loved, to live, to do literally anything? while also being constantly dehumanized by everyone, even people who technically care about them? actually, we know, because it happens in real life all the time.

but here's a thing. surprisingly, mithrun tries to care. he tries to care about civilians, he doesn't even kill people who wanted to kill him (kabru did, for example. don't know why people forget about this, pretty easy comparison to make). he tries to care about his squad: he always does the most dangerous job himself. he tries to care about other dungeon lords, because he feels compassion towards them, so he always gives them a choice.

but i love that kui makes him stay true to his character: he's an asshole, he doesn't have desires anymore, he's depressed, but he tries to care... and he fails and gives up. all the time. and he ends up hurting people because he gave up. idk, i find it incredibly relatable. and i think it's kinda weird to "criticize" mithrun for that, he's just a character that we're clearly supposed to empathize with, and we all one day or another find ourselves in similarly dark place in life. and there's something hopeful in his story, he didn't ask to be loved, but people loved him anyway – and he learned to accept this love. doesn’t happen as often in real life, unfortunately.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #ask #dungeon meshi analysis #text post

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jewishdragon · 9 months

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How to Cure* Yourself of Being a Picky Eater**

by JewishDragon

Step 1: Be me, a same foods picky eater autistic.

Step 2: Have a family member (who doesnt live nearby) be an enthusiastic chef. Loves to cook for people and experiment with cooking. Just throws shit together.

Step 3: Go 2 decades being wary of visiting this relative because you're an extremely picky eater and feel very ashamed when you stay at this relative's house.

Step 4: Get your first summer internship away from home and get housed by this family member who lives 10min from the internship

Step 5: Make a silent vow to Get A Good Grade In house Guest (a very reasonable thing to desire), since you are staying rent free. The vow includes

Clean the dishes after dinner without being prompted

Empty the dish washer without being prompted

Do your own laundry

Pick up after yourself and take out the trash before trash day!

TASTE, HAVE JUST ONE BITE, OF EVERYTHING THIS RELATIVE COOKS

Step 6: have a 3 month summer internship become several years as you get a full time job (and then START YOUR PHD) in the same town. While you now pay a smidge of rent, THE VOW CONTINUES

Step 7: Profit

(Expand your pallet, Discover what flavor profiles/textures you like and dislike with more nuance than ever before. Be able to go out to eat with friends and family without the anxiety over wondering if you'll be able to eat, or have to order from the kids menu as a 20+ year old. But overall, most importantly, it becomes easier to try a new food)

*JewishDragon does not guarantee any part of this method, this method will not work for most people for many reasons.

**This post is made in good humor. I am not claiming picky eating is something to BE cured. I am just telling the story of my journey of being a picky eater. I am still not an adventurous eater. For example: It took me 6 years from my first making the vow before i was brave enough to try a small drop of ranch/caesar style dressing on a single piece of lettuce. (I REALLY wanted to get a good grade in house guest at a weekly nerd gathering!) (also texture is a HUGE issue for me that i cannot expect to ever be "cured".)

(I also am a huge samefoods autistic, i can eat the same thing for two weeks and the only reason I would switch to something else for the next week or so is I ran out of the Thing)

#actually autistic #autism #same food #picky eater #I MRS PIGGLE WIGGLED MYSELF OK

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serknighted · 1 year

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Danse & Hancock's parallels are eating my sanity slowly so by God I will write them here

So. Usually incredibly shy about posting my feelings about characters and my interpretations of them, but I don't think I can sit idly by without addressing 1. how much I love this post about Danse and how his story ties back to the isolation and loneliness of autism, and 2. how much I need more content between Hancock & Danse to exist, because my god sometimes I forget they hate each other in-game. (I strongly suggest you read the post mentioned & linked, they do a fantastic job framing Danse in a way I don't think I could fully articulate)

Danse & Hancock both have stories filled with themes of intense loneliness. Despite their hard work, effort, and prowess in the things they love, it doesn't take good sight to realize that neither of them are very well liked. It's not that they aren't respected, but whether it's Danse's all-too-formal approach to speaking, or Hancock's combination of hard drug use & almost constant overbearing presence (on top of years of slander from bigger cities, but we'll get into that), people see them as a tool of success and a good asset to have around, but not much of a friend, so to speak. Especially in Hancock's case, many people he is overly-affectionate with are often more annoyed by his presence than anything else (even if they do like him).

For Hancock, despite how much he claims to not relate to the isolation of the common ghoul, he's likely over-exaggerating his charisma in an effort to make himself more easily approachable, mostly for his own peace of mind rather than for others. While he sounds quite passive about things many others would react strongly to, I feel it's a combination of him having replaced a layer of how he truly feels with an element of sass on top of the drug use that makes all the trauma more easily bearable (to mixed effect).

One of his lines that has always struck me as conflicting with how he portrays himself is a common generic line he has while traveling with Sole Survivor, praising them for "living out the day" when most others could not. Hancock has seen so many people die to the brutal hands of the Commonwealth; whether it be Vic and his boys gunning down innocent drifters, seeing people succumb to the elements, or, in this case, simply not surviving their travels with him, Hancock seems to have a track record of never properly establishing proper bonds with others before they either die, or decide he's too overbearing to deal with further. He's one of those characters who desperately wants to have a deeper connection with those he loves, but he has consistently lost the chance to do so before he was ever ready, and so he chooses to fill the void with meaningless sexual relationships and one-night stands- anything to make him temporarily forget how much he hates himself and his almost comical lack of social understanding. It's a train of thought that I, as an autistic person, can really understand and relate to-- the desire to know people, but always feeling like no matter how you portrayed yourself, no one seems to want to be around you if you don't provide them with what they desire. It's caused him to deeply undervalue both how much he's done for people (since he believes its expected of him to constantly bend over backwards for the needs of others), and himself, all at the same time.

I don't think Danse fully recognizes how lonely he feels, a lot. He's been so heavily indoctrinated by the Brotherhood of Steel into believing that this is how he should be treated, that his work is for the betterment of humanity, that his sacrifice is a necessary one. The way he speaks almost carelessly about late brothers and sisters in arms makes me think really hard about how rooted this idea of only existing for the "greater good" is. Individuality is questionable & almost taboo, being different is outright abominable. It's the reason why the rhetoric of "Us vs. Them" works-- the BoS as a collective believe that they are doing good for all of humanity, and any outlier to that "perfect" formula is a threat not only to the BoS, but to everything they know. Danse is expected to bend over backwards for people, and no longer questions his loneliness or isolation, as he has all but given up his sense of self for what he believes is right. Another thing that I and many of my autistic friends relate to; a sense of justice so strong that it's overpowering. Like us, Danse is willing to sacrifice anything to do what's right... including himself.

Knowing this, it's easy to understand why he hates Hancock, and that backwards mindset is the reason Hancock hates him. It's an especially vicious cycle that constantly feeds into itself if unchecked, and Hancock knows that he alone cannot convince Danse to break that cycle. Hancock knows he can't beat Danse in a fight; all he has are his words, and logic is useless against an enemy that heeds to no truths. Even after Danse discovers his true nature... you can't expect him to unravel the years of constant reassurance that what he was taught was right in a single night. "Rome wasn't built in a day," and no one gets over their trauma so quickly, either. It's traumatic to have an explanation as to why people hate you. A catch-all reason to people's fear and distaste to you, that is also something you can never, ever change. Danse would sooner hate himself for what he is than accept those he used to murder without a second thought. It's the difficult reality of anyone attempting to unlearn painful conservative narratives; the shame & guilt of hurting others that are more similar to you than you ever wanted to know is sometimes more painful than realizing what you really are.

Hancock, albeit not even close to "recovered" from his mental woes, is much further along the path of acceptance to Danse, but not far enough away that he wouldn't understand where Danse is coming from. For so long, he sat idly by and watched people get hurt, even during his time in Diamond City. The constant conditioning to accept other people's pain as long as it wasn't happening to you still eats at his consciousness; just like Danse, he knows it was wrong to accept it, but the guilt makes it harder to deal with. He, of all people, would understand what it feels like to try so, so hard to fit in, to be normal and accepted, but never quite hit the mark of understanding where he fits in society. That's the reason he is the way he is now; his signature, his "Hancock," is to be as loud and out-of-place as possible-- a constant rebellion against what people expect him to be, a rebellion of oppression and unfair treatment. Danse's sheer existence is an involuntary rebellion of all BoS values, and even if Hancock would be hesitant to become close to Danse for a long while, I think he would be impressed by him, in the end, and more importantly, understand where he's coming from.

Their combined interest in both protecting the people they care about as well as the collective societies those people come from, as well as how nerdy they both are about US history... I think, eventually, they will realize how similar their lives were, how similar they are to each other, and maybe even find some comfort in knowing that they aren't alone in all of the waves of shame, guilt, and loneliness. That there is an overarching group of people who understand them, and that they do have a place in this world. I think once they recognize that similar traumas can manifest in polar opposite conditions (ones that they used to have a narrow, black-and-white outlook on), they'll also find that there is no real reason to hate each other anymore; the world has told them that they must hate each other, but they no longer have any need to listen.

TL;DR autistic Danse & Hancock ftw

#fallout 4 #john hancock #paladin danse #sorry for the long analysis im just rotting over them so hard #fo4 #i think they deserve the world #and maybe also therapy #fuck you todd howard for not finishing Danse's arc i cry #ARGHHH i hope people understand my vision...

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weeb-polls-with-pip · 11 months

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Autistic Anime Girls Group 3 Round 2 Match 5

SUBMISSION PROPAGANDA:

Sayaka -

"Deadpan, forthright, and unapologetically candid, Kanamori never hesitates to voice her thoughts, no matter how harsh or unvarnished they may be. She is often deemed as impolite, ruthless or severely intimidating (by adults and peers her age alike), and is jokingly compared to the likes of the Yakuza. She’s regarded with a degree of caution, due to her unwavering no-nonsense attitude and the fact that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants, phone camera at the ready to capture any slip up that could potentially be used as blackmail later. Survival is her top priority, looking out for herself and whoever might be left behind unfairly by circumstance. She has a steadfast mind for business and strong work ethic, openly admitting to her desire for monetary compensation (or other favors and methods of payment, such as milk or food) for even the smaller and most mundane of tasks, and won’t shy away from charging fellow members of the club as well.

She firmly holds the belief that friendship is an idealized and glorified notion. To her, individuals referred to as "friends" are often mere products of chance, brought together by shared interests and nothing more. Sayaka adamantly refrains from using the term "friend" and readily corrects anyone who mistakenly categorizes her coworkers or those she spends time with as such. She befittingly conveyed this perspective of hers to Midori on the very day they first crossed paths, and this prompted Midori to freely opt out of using the label entirely as well, instead referring to her closest peers as “comrades” ever since.

Regardless of this, Sayaka prefers to achieve a level of coexistence, as she personally describes it, with those she truly cares about, such as the few other club members. While not explicitly considering the girls as her friends, her actions reveal a deep concern for their well-being. She often watches over them, remains by their side and is ready to defend them and their cause whenever necessary. A significant reason the club came to be in the first place is Sayaka's recognition of her classmates' immense artistic potential. She encouraged them to establish their own independent studio, enabling them to create their animated films, attain recognition, and reap profits from their efforts.

In her role as their producer, she's primarily motivated by financial gain, but as she reviews Midori's and Tsubame's work, she ensures they always have the option to do their job efficiently and avoid overexerting themselves if they ever choose to do so. She’s equally supportive of their goals and will often assure them that their art is more than good enough. She insists that their work is already impressive; therefore, they could forgo so much self-imposed pressure and stop doubting their abilities or attaching undue importance to others' unhelpful criticisms, as these are often incongruent with their own artistic sensibilities and convictions.

Sayaka lacks interest and doesn’t possess much insight about art herself, yet she is more than willing to learn from her team to become a better producer. Aside from having a keen eye for business since her early childhood (despite being bad at math), she also appears to be quite knowledgeable in a wide variety of topics, and will take people by surprise whenever she starts rambling about the ins-and-outs of something that’s relevant at any given moment. One time, someone pointed out that Kanamori wasn’t at all different from Asakusa on this regard, to which Tsubame responded with a simple and knowing “yup”.

She can be seen idly cracking the knuckles of her right hand every now and then, and rarely displays a different emotion as she goes about her day donning a neutral grimace on her face. Kanamori almost only ever smiles when she’s getting paid, when friendly mocking someone, or when she’s in the middle of twisting someone’s arm to hers and the club’s advantage.

I’m going to cut it here, since I realized I have much more to say about Sayaka than any other Eizouken member so far (I thought Midori was going to be the longest but this one was already effortlessly surpassing 700 words and counting. Good god) Please please PLEASE consider voting for her!! she’s an amazing character in general, and I can easily see why she’s Sumito Oowara’s personal favorite of the bunch."

Miku -

"Hatsune Miku is the character/persona created for a voice bank. As such, she has no set personality and can essentially be molded to fit the song’s scenario. She’s basically made to be your little dress up doll except your not dressing her up with clothes you’re dressing her up with your special interests and hyperfixations. She’s like the Barbie of Autism, if you will. As such, she has garnered many fans since her debut because of how relatable she is and how comforting she can be and how you can project your own interests or quirks on her and it’d still fit her because that’s essentially what she was made for!!!

You could consider the songs she sings and brings to life for producers to be her special interest!

As she’s a voice bank, she also can struggle with tone and inflection when speaking or singing, but can also, at times, sound very life like as well! She’s incredibly versatile as a tool to use for songs and as a character! She can do anything and be anything!

Also, all characters under the Vocaloid title usually come with an item that represents them! Miku’s is a leek/spring onion, even her hair has a similar appearance to one and it could be considered a special interest of hers!

I know the whole “she can be anything” seems sorta like flimsy propaganda for her, but I think it can also resemble how some people on the autism spectrum mask our true personalities and try and adapt to who we are talking to! And we can also have many talents and special interests at a single time! At least, that’s how my experience has been with being on the spectrum….

(Anywhosies I hope this helps! Miku has been important to me and many others for a long time and it’d be a shame for her to lose due to lack of propaganda 😔)."

#autistic anime girls poll #tumblr polls #keep your hands off eizouken!#kanamori sayaka #sayaka kanamori #vocaloid #hatsune miku #miku hatsune #project sekai #(only tagging that for poll reach purposes)#this match is going to be a bloodbath. can already tell

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thequietkid-moonie · 7 months

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okay, i have no idea why it took me so long to request this BUT... kokichi, nagito, kazuichi, 9S, 2B and A2 with an autistic s/o (or just neurodivergent in general <3)

i hope you're having a lovely morning, day, evening or night moonie! you're great and i'm looking forward to reading this hehe <3

Autistic S/O

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Kokichi, Nagito, Kazuichi, 9S, 2B, A2 ]

[ Killing Harmony ] [ Goodbye Despair ] [ NieR Automata ]

Thank you for requesting this V-chaaaan!!! Is been so loooong since last time i wrote for autistic reader and this was totally amazing to write!!

I was a little nervous since I didn't knew if I was writing it right but at the end I think i made a good job! Besides, i been trying to left behind all the masking and try to just be autistic so this is comforting!

Kokichi Ouma

Once someone catch Kokichi's attention the he will become clingy and incredibly curious about that person, his main reason was to get to know with what he could mess with you, that is how he find out you are autistic even before you get to tell him, and even if at first he just tries to find ways to mess with you by it as he grows to care more for you he becomes more respectful

Kokichi doesn't see anything bad on you being autistic, is the way you have born and is who you are and there is nothing wrong with it, he would call you silly if you ever feel bad about being or doing what you need to feel comfortable (besides, he doesn't want show you how much it hurt him seeing you upset by you just being you when he completely loves it). He is more than ready to step in to defend you if someone dares to say something bad about you for being you, and if someone is bold enough to call you a burden for being autistic then that person will be his new and only target for a while (he will even ask Gonta's help since Gonta is willing to protect his friends too)

Kokichi does want to know more about your autism since for everyone affects and is expressed their own ways, besides he loves learning more about you, so he will just follow you around wherever you go and ask you a lot of things (he is too curious to don't do it, but if you feel overwhelmed or like he is inviding your personal space he will stop, brushing it off with a joke of course, but will apologize when you two are alone, specially if he had upset you) he may joke about your behavior or about the way you do things but he doesn't mean to hurt you, is just his normal self and he tries to don't come up with harmful jokes

One of the biggest desire of Kokichi is to be seen as funny for others, he doesn't want to be seen as boring, and adding that he likes playing pranks is safe to say that he will pull pranks on you and joke a lot with you, however he does take in consideration your autism when thinking on the pranks or the jokes, making sure is something won't trigger you nor overwhelme you, as well that is something you can easily understand (in case you have troubles understanding certain things), he actually has a lot of fun while thinking on what jokes and pranks he can do to you but will deny it and feel incredibly embarrassed if someone ever find out, even if someone point it out as a posibility he immediatly gets on the defensive due the embarrassment (even if is you)

Kokichi grows to be quite protective over you, specially when you are more sensitive, he just hate seeing you in pain or bothered by something (and if you tent to stim in harmful ways that trigger something inside of him), still he tries to go around the topic and help you indirectly, be by distracting you or making you to only focus on him, or going against others if they had triggered you

He like hearing you talk about your special interests, he may don't remember everything you had told him because he sometimes gets easily distracted but he does remember the most important parts (or the ones that are definetly your favorites), and you can see it reflected on some of the jokes he says where he mention something you had told him about your special interest

He would think is a little silly having comfort item or even stim toys actually he is just jealous but at the same time he assure you that is completely fine, if you want them then why don't having them? He doesn't let anyone touch them or even glance at them unless he knows they have your permission (and ask like a million of times if you are sure), and he normally doesn't touch them unless he has your permision or just can't resist (over time he will learn how important they are for you and learn to don't hide them as a prank)

Nagito Komaeda

Is painfully obvious when Nagito is in love, he wants to be with you at all times (even when he sees himself as nothing more than trash and a burden), and he will pay a lot of attention to you, wanting to learn about you or just appreciate you, so even if you don't tell him about it, even before start dating, he would notice that there is something off about you (not that he find it as being bad, he just noticed)

If you decide to tell him that you are autistic he will accept it right away, telling you that nothing could make him think less of you nor love you less, he will want to know more (and even ask your permission before asking for more details), this is obviously something important for you, it affects the way you percive the world after all. Even so, if you prefer to keep it as a secret Nagito will notice the little hints of thing you like, dislike or even do, he won't confront you about it but will take mental notes about it (even when he feels like invading your privacy by doing it)

Honestly, Nagito doesn't see anything bad on your disability (not that he would ever see anything bad on you), he just thinks is something that makes you way more special and hopeful, you don't see the worlds like other and had to live in a world that isn't made with your needs in mind (sadly, he actually hates it) and that makes you even more hopeful in his eyes

Even when Nagito is really clingy and needy you will be his top priority, so he will pay close attention and hesitantly ask if you have special need that he should have in consideration, he is willing to change his whole life just to fit on what is best for you, is the least he can do and only hopes that trash like him can help you with whatever you need (that is what he insist on), besides he hates seeing you upset and if he can do something to help you out he won't even doubt on doing whatever he can for you

Nagito is touch starved and will be lying if he says that he won't like to be close to you, however he doesn't seem himself as worthy and thinks that he may just bother you, so he just let you touch him whenever you want, and however you want, if you want a hug or hold his hand is okay, as well he is always up for you to stim with him, play with his hands or hair all you want he doesn't mind (actually he feels completely flustered and honored, it brings him so much joy, although he insisted on apologizing for you having to touch or be around trash like him at first)

If you sometimes don't do simple things like eating or drinking water, wearing warm clothes when its cold or even getting hurt without noticing just because you just didn't felt it or just forgot is something that will worry him way too much, he wants you to be healthy and happy (and he is scare of losing you), so in this case he will make his personal goal to take care of you, however it would be really dificult for him to get used to do it because trash like him shouldn't tell you what to do, but he tries to remind himself that is for your own good

With time he will learn to identify how you express yourself, whenever you are happy (if you happy stim he will start doing it with you at some point, but will apologize profusely for doing it the first time) or whenever you are feeling sad or annoyed, he tries his hardest to help you avoid things you hate or hurt, still there is the posibility of you feeling overwhelmed, he would panic the first time but quickly tries to help you (remembering all he knows so far about you), he will get better at helping over time, and even if the first times he made a good job he will apologize for not being of help

As well, Nagito is completely respectful of you and your things, if you have comforting things, stiming toys or anything that can help you he treats those things with the say gentleness he treats you (however, he wont dare to touch those things unless you give him your explicit permission, and still he will feel hesitant of holding them at first, fearing that his luck will act and make him broke them or something)

Kazuichi Soda

Kazuichi tent to be blinded by his love, once he falls in love he start to seeing the person he likes as perfect and won't hear anyone saying that there is something wrong with that person, that is why even if he ever start noticing the hints of your autism he probably just won't think much of it

You have to tell him directly and with sincerity that you are autistic and that there are certain things you don't tolerate, otherwise it would take him a long time to notice (even when he notice whenever you feel upsed, he would just not fully understand), and even if you ask him to be a little less intense or there are things about him that overwhelmed you he will be grateful that you tell him now rather than just suffering in silence, it take him a moment to fully process the information but at the end he knows this is for your comfort and healthy so he has no problem on having to adapt himself to you

Kazuichi will actually have a hard time understanding that you have autism and actually remembering that there are certain things he should change or just do, he is quite clingy, touchy and loud so he probably bring you some troubles, still he does apologize everytime he sees that he had made you uncomfortable (for what he hates himself) and always promise to don't do it again, wich he always tries, in the other hand if you don't mind that part of him or even liked it that will make him feel so much joy and will even be proud of himself (but will lead him to be a little more intense for a while)

It has never been a secret how much Kazuichi loves you, and loves everything about you, so your autism will only increase the little quirks of you that he loves, your good hearing or the way you always notice little details, how diferent things bring you diferent sensations or even that there are things you prefer to avoid, everything makes you even more beautiful and special in his eyes! He has no problem on helping you avoid what it hurts and surround yourself with comforting and good things!

As well, he is quite protective over you, so he doesn't want to protect you only of your surroundings but also of people, he doesn't let anyone say anything bad about your autism, he won't be the type to jump into the fight but if someone dares to ofend you that person won't heard the end of it. As well, Kazuichi won't really be the best when it comes to comforting but he is fully focused on helping you feel well again whenever you feel the slighest upsed, he goes from reminding you how beautiful and special you are to bringing you anything that can comfort you (items, food, something related to your special interest, anything he can think on), it may be a little exaggerated but intention is what counts

Kazuichi is mesmerized by your voice, so he will be more than happy to heard you talk about your special interest, he may get confused sometimes with so much infomation and ask a few times if you can repeat yourself but he is trying his best to actually learn what are you talking about (although, there are some times where he gets completely quiet because he is lost and don't understand what are you talking about at all, but he always apologize for it). As well, he won't dare to ask you for it but he it will bring him way too much joy if you are willing to heard him rant about what he likes or what he is working on too

His workshop can be either an interesting place or a complete nightmare, with all the stimuli that are there, from visual to auditory and even olfactory, he loves your company and if you were willing to stay with him while he works then he will be more than happy, but if his workshop is something that makes you uncomfortable he will profusely apologize before taking you away from there, he even promise to make it up for you (he gets into the habit of cleaning himself before seeing you after working, although he is a little messy while cleaning himself because he wants to rush and see you right away)

9S can't just hold back himself, even when feelings are forbidden for a YoRHa Unit he just can't not feel (and express himself, he has no problem with speaking his heart out), and even if at first it was more curiosity and his duty it didn't take him long to fall in love with you

9S is a really curious android, he likes learning all he can about the world and the humans, so even before finding you he already knew quite a lot about humans, thanks to that (and for being really observant) it wont take him long to realice that, in fact you aren't as how the common humans are, what, honestly, just lead him to be more curious

At first your autism was something that make him feel really curious, but the more got to learn about it and how it affects you the more he start to love it, he sometimes feels bad about loving your disability the way he does (mainly when you feel upset or even overwhelmed) but he just can't help it, for him is like something that just makes you a million times more special, what sometimes lead him to feel a little flustered since you love him too

9S will be so curious about your autism that is more probably that he will try to ask you about it since the start, he will be a little messy and overexcited with his questions but will apologize when he realice what he is doing, reasuring you that you don't have to answer all his questions. After the initial excitement 9S will choose to be more calm and learn by watching you rather than asking (unless you don't mind), honestly he will never be tired of watching you, every time he get to learn something new about you he feels so much joy and amusment, even if is something small

Something that will make him quite sad is when he gets to learn about the stimuli that brings you discomfort, he thinks the world is quite fascinating and interesting but if there are some things that you can't just tolerate or even hurts it makes him immediatly worry, he can't be at ease when he knows you are upsed (although, he doesn't blame you or get mad in the slighest, he is just genuinely worried about you and won't dare to leave you alone when you are feeling bad, unless you really need to be alone)

9S will always try to create a comfortable and safe space around you, surrounding you with things you aprove as being comforting and not overstimulanting, always make sure to bring you new things that he find on his missions that he thinks you will like or make sure to carry around a comfort item of your safe space whenever you two go out for a walk (or in a little adventure)

If you ever have problems to express yourself or even go non-verbal he won't make a big deal out of it, he may be weird out and worried the first time but over time he just get used to, and every time it happen he is always there to try to help you find the right words or just guess what are you trying to express, you can even invent your own way to express yourself and he will just adapt to it (he actually has a lot of fun trying to help you, he finds it interesting and amusing)

9S grow to have the habit of constantly asking your opinion or put attention to your reaction to diferent things because he loves getting to know how you see the world, he loves hearing you rant about things that catch your attention or just stim to express yourself, he always watch you with a lot of love and care, those moments of peace feels like if in the world only exist you two

Also, 9S grows to love watch you stim so much that he just get used to imitate you, and end up doing it himself, specially when he has to be away for a mision and can't be with you, he just end up doing what you do to stim without even noticing

As much as 2B repeat herself that something like feelings is forbidden for a YoRHa Unit that have never stoped her from actually feeling, and falling in love wouldn't be an exception, even when it take her a while to accept her feelings at the end she started a relationship with you with the silent promise to protect you from anything and everything

2B doesn't know everything about humans, only the data that YoRHa has (and the part that she is allowed to get to know), still she will probably know (or at least suspect) that you aren't exactly like the common humans, she notice the little hints of your autism since the start but decide to don't say anything (and is quickly to shut up pod if they say something about it)

2B is more like a spectator most of the time with you, specially for your condition, she prefers to watch you go around and learn by doing so (besides, she finds quite fascinating just watching you and learning from it, is something so new and yet so beautiful in her eyes), she will learn over time to identify whenever you enjoy or hate something, she learns to identify your reactions and signals and quickly to help you whenever you are feeling upset. YoRHa units have been made to protect humanity, however is her love what lead her to see you as the most precious person in her life and the one she must protect at all cost, you are the bright of her days and her hope, she wouldn't mind perishing in battle if is to protect you

Once knowing that you are autistic she will try to learn more about it, and will even ask 9S if he knows about it, she wants to know as much as she can because is something important in your life (she will ask you too, but it would take her a while since she feels a little bit shy about asking you about it, considering it as something really personal), and, at the end she will make sure to don't forget anything she had learn and always take it in consideration when being with you (or when something is related to you)

2B goes at your rythm and following your lead most of the time, if you want physical affection she will do her best to provide it to you, if you don't want to be touched she will take some distance, if you want to go around she will be by your side, making sure your little trip is safe, if you want to infodump she is all ears, if you just feel like doing nothing she can make you company while doing nothing (honestly, most of the time she just look like some kind of bodyguard but she does it from the bottom of her heart, and will learn to feel more at ease over time, finally actually participate and will start to want more)

2B grows to be a little overprotective over you, she just want to keep you safe and by being human already make her think of you as weak or delicate (mainly for the diference of her being an android and you a human, not because she underestimate you), and your condition only makes her that idea go further, whenever you are feeling specially sensitive she gets anxious, not knowing if it would be alright for her to approach since she doesn't want to cause you any pain

Also, 2B tries her best to provide you with comforting things, she even ask 9S and the androids of the resistance camp for help, she ask that if they find anything that could make you feel more comfortable or at home please let her know

2B will just grow to have the habit of constantly look at you to make sure you are feeling alright and trying to read your body language for any sight of whatever you feel, she is always trying to make you feel comfortable, she doesn't know how it is to be human, let alone how it feels the world the way you feel it, so, at some point she will ask you to please don't doubt on expressing how you feel or if you need something, she will be there to help you at the best of her habilities

Despite everything, one of 2B's favorites things to do is just watch or heard you, the way you express, the way you stim or even just the way your carry yourself around is fascinating to her, is one of the beauties of being alive and is a reminder for her that if you love her then that means she isn't a bad person

Finding a human alive was really surprising and yet that wasn't the only reason why she decided to keep you close to her, she feel worry and care for you since the start so decided to keep you close and help you, the care only grew over time and she realiced that what she felt was love the moment she noticed how you have changed her life, making it brighter and bringing more things to her life aside form the loneliness and sadness

A2 probably won't know about humans as much as the new YoRHa Units, but since she cares for you she pays a lot of attention to you so she will just learn how you are by watching you, and she actually start to grow quite curious over time; once she feel more comfortable with having you around (and finds a way to keep you safe while still killing the machines) then she will try to learn more and maybe even get the courage to ask (what won't be too difficult when you two start dating)

A2 takes her time to get to meet you slowly, asking you little by little about your autism and your curious behavior, she takes time to fully understand what are you telling her about what and how you feel, and everything she get to know makes her feel more curious but also protective over you

A2 is really protective over you, she does regret what happened on her past and have already lost a lot, so she fears losing you too (specially after creating a special bound with you), that is why she feels frustrated about your autism because, as much as she wants there are things that she can't protect you from, stimuli and sensations that makes you feel bad or that even hurt and a full new concept for her, and even when she undestand it she just feels like she can't do anything for you, at the end is that feeling what lead her to actually ask you if there is something she can do for you when you feel overwhelmed or bothered by those things, she will try to do all she can to bring you at least a little bit of comfort

A2 tend to worry a lot when it comes to you, now that you are here with her you are all what she has, and since she let you get close to her now you mean way to much for her, that is way she gets scare whenever you feel hipersensitive or overwhelmed, just by seeing you in distress makes her feel anxious, fearing that someone have tried to attack you, it would take her a long time to get used to this kind of situation, still no matter how much times it pass she always worries a lot. It will also worry her when she saw you stim or go semi-verbal or non-verbal for the first time, she feared that something have happened to you (although, even when she feels scare she keeps the composture, so it may not be obvious)

You end up changing A2's life because she has more to do rather than just go around and kill the machines, now she has to take care of you, and yet he isn't bothered by the slighest, you could fully rely in her and she won't have troubles with be there for you because now you are her new purpose on life (however, she prefers if you don't fully relay on her for everything because it could put you at risk since you two live in a dangerous world). Is more likely A2 just end up bulding some kind of house where you can be comfortable and safe, is not A2's style but now that she has you one of her main purposes is to keep you safe (besides, if changes put you in distress it would be better to avoid them as much as posible)

A2 is really interested on learning about how you see the world and life, you two just probably have diferent ways to see the present (specially since you are human), so A2 tries to motivate you to express yourself all you want, even if she doesn't do it most of the time that shouldn't stop you, even if you do it by meaningless sounds or movements just to stim A2 will just learn that is the way you express yourself and will end up finding it quite mesmerizing

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bynux · 4 months

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Asking For Donations — This Will Likely Be My First & Last Time Doing This

Cshpp - $d1pl0mat

Hey all, I'm a neurodivergent transfeminine person who could use a bit of a financial boost. I've been unemployed for over a year due to autistic burnout and a lot of life circumstances piling on in a short time. Thankfully, things seem to be settling into place and good things are on the horizon, but I need a bit of a push to get there.

The Good: I currently have an apprenticeship lined up that will pay me well and get me into my desired field of software development. I only have to do a behavioral interview (which I expect to pass with flying colors) and I'll be starting training next month. This will enable me to move in with my partners and largely get my life back on track.

The Not-So-Good: That still leaves me with about a month and a half of not getting paid yet. Like I said above, I've been unemployed for just over a year, taking odd jobs and helping my partner(s) with finances as a way of keeping afloat. However, the family I'm living with has their food assistance on hold and I'm unsure when that problem will subside. This is on top of running low on gas, medical weed, and with a phone bill due in the very near future.

This request isn't quite as urgent as some of the others you might see, but if you have $10-20 to throw my way I'd be insanely appreciative. I'm seeking a total of ~$300 to be solidly set with groceries, gas, meds, my phone bill, and a little overhead for incidentals.

Thank you in advance <3

#beg post #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #trans #transgender #neurodivergent #autism #actually autistic

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dungeonmeshi-confessions · 1 month

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I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.

bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!

anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu

- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.

-they both struggle with insomnia also

-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.

-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.

-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.

-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.

-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)

-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3

-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!

-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.

#dungeon meshi confessions #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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hi devon! love your work so much and also just rly want to take an edible with you and shoot the shit but my actual question is as an autistic person who was taught to orient around other peoples needs how can i re train that laser focus to kind of hone what i need/like/desire? i feel really lost and spend so much time thinking about what other people may like or want i have no idea what i want even at 29

oh my goodness, my entire next book on Autism is all for people like you! I believe that part of unmasking requires that we learn how to disengage from the opinions of others, widen our distress tolerance, get more acclimated to the possibility of change, learn how to initiate the activities we like more, and just generally get more in touch with our bodies and our desires. this is a lot of work but it's all in the realm of skills that can be practiced... which is why i'm currently trying to sell a book that is entirely research, examples, and exercises around these things. i will also be publishing lots of small tastes of this work pretty regularly on my substack in the next few months.

in the meantime, i would encourage you to start reallllly really small, by taking greater notice of what you don't like. and i mean really start out with miniscule declarations of negative feeling. "i dont like this song, can we change the channel on the radio?" "i dont want to eat at the olive garden actually" "im cold, can you turn up the heat or tell me where the blankets are?" "this bar is too loud, i'm going to have to leave." REALLY small stuff. even stuff of that scale probably feels TERRIFYING. start with these things, and ride out the initial discomfort or embarrassment that arises when stating a need or preference.

you'll notice that each of these "no's" is actually getting you closer to figuring out what you want as well. you're saying you dislike something, or that you are uncomfortable -- but you're also practicing articulating a thing that you actively do want, whether that's a blanket, a more comfortable place to spend the evening, or something better to listen to or to watch. it's hard to ask oneself massive existential questions about who you truly are and what you want out of life. but asking yourself if anything small in your immediate environment is uncomfortable is far easier.

the great thing about this method is that you can practice it all the time. any time you're in a new space or situation, just take a moment to ask yourself: what would i change? the goal is to always find something you could advocate or ask for. this flips the masked autistic instinct to never ask for anything until you're in absolute agony completely on its head. you are LOOKING for things to request, LOOKING for sources of mild discomfort to voice -- and youll get better and better at noticing what you like and what you dislike the more that you do this.

with time, you will be able to articulate far greater wants. i dont want to spend my weekend at my grandmother's house. i dont want to live in an apartment with someone who is constantly criticizing me. i want to live by the water. i want a job where i can control the temperature of my workspace at all times. i want dogs. i want to be able to go running in the morning. i want a bathtub. i want to paint and listen to music. i dont want to marry this person. and so on!

this is a massive oversimplification, but there you go. a little bump of the full supply that hopefully will hit bookshelves early 2025 if i play my cards right

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trustywukkiii · 18 days

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Im such a SUCKER for the characterization of Dungeon Meshi. Ryoko Kui and her editor Hiroi Masaru are incredibly great at subverting character tropes and archetypes with a perfect balance of strengths and weakness.

LAIOS to a bystanding viewer could easily seem like a himbo. He’s strong, a little bigger than average with his BMI at 26, and capable at fighting, but his lack of social skills is a BIG weakness. The thing is, that doesn’t make him unintelligent. Whereas himbos are just handsome goofs, his autistic coding is written so maturely. Although he can’t pick up on social cues, what makes up for it is his knowledge on monsters. His book-smarts sets him apart from the himbo spectrum. Regarding his past as revealed by the Winged Lion, Laios is a fairly flawed man who has complex desires. He just happens to be incredibly appealing. I love Laios.

FALIN, admittedly can be seen as a beacon-of-hope-damsel-in-distress that centers the entire plot and conflict. But what deepens her character is the additional conflict and consequence of resurrecting her, turning her into a Chimera. Her time as a Chimera can place her as morally gray, since she’s not actively thinking on her own accord during the confrontation with Laios’, Toshiro’s and Kabru’s parties. (Should also mention that scene where she doesn’t care where she teleports the crew as long as they were safe, even if it meant at the cost of hurting others.) She may be a beacon of hope, but only to the main cast. During her childhood, she wasn’t praised and treated like a princess by everyone. Falin is a fairly beloved woman in need of saving AND stopping, for she is capable of many scary things.

MARCILLE, oh Marcille is my favorite subversion. So easily can she be seen as the clumsy fanservice nerdy lady who complains about every single thing. But no, she’s metal as all hell. First off, she may be clumsy as is established by Chilchuck, but thank god she’s not sexualized. No fanservice in SIGHT. The only attractive thing I see is her strength in magic. She’s incredibly smart but in a way that is not universally approved. Her ancient magic and selfish nature to resurrect Falin through whatever means makes her so mature and powerful. Plus, her complaints with eating monsters are pretty valid. They’re not out of childishness, and she eventually gets used to it anyway. She is so so so complex in nature. She’s a scary elf lady but also incredibly endearing towards the people she loves the most to the point she can’t EVER comprehend the idea of losing them. Marcille is the epitome of “whatever it takes.”

CHILCHUCK very carefully bypasses that “small but a million times older than you expected” trope in lots of shows/animes. Being a half-foot, he’s usually babied by Marcille and Senshi. Despite this, that man so blatantly acts his age as a father of three: he has a habit of drinking, cusses a lot, acts the most reasonable out of the party, and he’s overall just so.. questionable, considering that “other plans” joke he did about Toshiro towards his party. Despite all these flaws, Chilchuck is just trying to do his job. He’s quite knowledgeable and responsibly when it comes to his work and adventuring with party members. He just happens to be a divorcee father.

SENSHI surprised me the most. He’s set up to be such a knowledgeable father figure to the cast. He’s incredibly caring of the dungeon and the habitants, and he cares for the “young-ins” like a good father should. He could easily pass with that trope, it’s not a bad one, but they decided to dig him deeper with his traumatic past. I’ve read another’s blog that describes him as just another kid at heart who is happy to have friends and it wrecks me. He may act overprotective and help guide the others, but he certainly doesn’t knowing EVERYTHING. Senshi is a man with the sincere intentions of protecting his friends, he just has a misguided sense.

IZUTSUMI I’m sure has been covered already by someone on here but she incredibly stomps away from the catgirl stereotypes of acting cute and cuddly. She’s aggressive, mean and loud. Only time she acts kitty-like is subtly— she likes sleeping on top of Chilchuck. Besides, she doesn’t really want to be a beastman. It’s her whole arc. You would have expected so much fanservice from her if this was a completely different show. Thank god, that’s not the case. Izutsumi is just a kid who knows what she wants albeit not gently, but she’s still a caring individual who is in the journey of exploring her freedom.

And KABRU is a funny case. His first introduction has a beautiful way of setting him up as a perfect leader, y’know, just that average “I’m effortlessly strong and witted and will rid of all evil” trope. Reality is poor Kabru lacks experience. He may have perceptive abilities, but throughout the early parts of DunMeshi, his party is shown to be easily taken down by monsters. Regarding how he and Laios are meant to be each other’s foils, Kabru’s strong advantages come at the price of his lack of knowledge in monsters. He just HATES them. Social cues are his own special interest. Kabru has the valid motivations, he just unfortunately doesn’t have the power to execute them.

This is my own little love letter to Dungeon Meshi. I love the characters so much, and I wanted to give praise to its writing that I can easily tell came from love and care. If you’ve read this far, thank you for sticking around! I love rambling about this beautiful world. I’m sure I’ve missed a few facts here and there, so let me know what you all think!

#THANK YOU DUNMESHI FOR THE GREAT WRITING <3 #i wrote this in the middle of the night dont mind me rambling #dungeon meshi #autism is autisming #delicious in dungeon #rambles #ramblings

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grecoromanyaoi · 1 month

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ok decided to post this publicly. the current name is 'when in rome' but im not sure i like it. it will ideally b a sitcom/comedy but unfortunately i keep putting in terrible and horrendous things into the plot that make it kinda hard to b a strictly comedy. like theyre a rich family in 1st century bc rome (60 bc to b exact). theyre imperialists. they have slaves. im trying to b as respectful as i can + trying to b comical so more under the cut. the characters r v basic for now.

so basically its abt the avianii, a rich patrician family. the parents are lucius avianus honorinus (sr) and cantilia. they have 5 children- lucius (jr), tiberius, aviana the elder, gaius and aviana the younger.

Lucius Avianus Honorinus (jr) is one of the main characters. he is kind of a loser. He hates doing what he’s told. He hates not fitting in, but he also hates everything fitting in requires, because it's just not him. He’s neurotic, obsessed with getting positive reassurance. He can’t find it in society or his family, so he looks for it in sexual partners. He wants to be loved, to be desired, to be appreciated in any way. He’s desperate for it. Wants to please his parents and society but knows he never truly will. He wants to be a poet. His poetry is not great. hes got a working class greek immigrant bf and theyre being weird and gay abt it. he doesnt identify as nonbinary bc that label or idea didnt rly exist yet, but if he were alive today hed probably identify as nonbinary.

Lysandros (said bf) is realistic, sometimes borderline pessimistic. Grounded in reality. He’s sarcastic (deadpan snarker). He’s hilarious. He is a stonemason? smith? goldsmith? baker? builder? He’s good at his job, whatever it is. His wife, Laodike, and mother are back in Boeotia, and he sends them money. He doesn’t particularly like his wife, and she doesn’t like him either. They have a kid, Aristokles, who Lysandros figures isn’t his.

Aviana (the elder) is also a main character. she is a bit odd. Kind of a goofball. She says whatever she thinks all the time, never once stopping to think whether it’s appropriate or what the consequences will be. An autism diagnosis will do her a great good. She’s far from stupid, but people often think she is because they don’t understand the way she thinks. Often oblivious to situations around her, but sometimes understands/figures out more than she lets on. she dreams of a great love, but gets married to a man who turns out to b rly shitty and abusive, so she cheats on him w Adiantunnos, her gaulish (gaelic? idk. from gaul) bf who actually respects her (who is the only good parisian perhaps to this day).

Tiberius Avianus Honorinus is way too into the military and makes it his entire personality bona dea Tiberius shut uppppp nobody wants to hear abt ur siege in germania for the umpteenth time. He definitely takes after his father (i need to continue this im lazy)

Gaius Avianus Honorinus doesn’t talk at all. He is a high support autistic, and very likely has some sort of an intellectual disability as well. He likes listening to music, but only to very specific music. He only likes women’s singing, not men’s singing. his siblings (aside from Tiberius) love him very much, but Diotima (enslaved character) is the only one who understands him and knows how to care for him.

Aviana (the younger) is like 9 so i havent really thought about her yet.

Cantilia is a bit of a bully. She wants all her children to present as perfect, and for them to look like the perfect family. The fact that she rarely cares about her children’s feelings, wants or needs, and even Gaius’ mere existence makes it impossible for her to present them as the perfect family. Often jealous and especially mean to young women in her husband’s vicinity, especially to Boudilatis (enslaved character), because he pays them more attention than he does her.

Lucius Avianus Honorinus (father) is high key a terrible person. He definitely has autism but he displays it in ways that pass it off as his “man traits”, for example how he talks about politics and the military almost nonstop. He doesn’t understand his wife nor his children and doesn’t care to. Can be very cruel to his wife and children, and even worse to the slaves. He wants his children to be perfect, and for his sons, when he says ‘perfect’ he means ‘just like him’. He is only proud of Tiberius because he follows in his footsteps and succeeds at a military career. He is very disappointed in Lucius, but claims that “at least he’s not Gaius”. Highly misogynistic and homophobic, and quite a womanizer.

im trying to avoid anything controversial n racist so im keeping all the enslaved characters "white" (not how they saw race but whatever), mostly greek and gaulish, which were v common. Diotima will probably b a main character. she is the oldest one, and practically raised the children. she doesnt give a fuck anymore. she literally says to lucius one time 'theres nothing ur parents can do to me that they havent already done' (after he said they would get mad at her). her father was a prominent scholar in Greece, and he named her after a character in plato's symposium. he and his family were enslaved after he tried to lead a rebellion against the romans. she is extremely intelligent and has a vast range of knowledge about philosophy, literature, history, etc. its just that nobody knows this bc they didnt care to ask.

#slavery ment #when in rome #ocs #mine*#my writing

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transbookoftheday · 2 months

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Their Troublesome Crush by Xan West

In this queer polyamorous m/f romance novella, two metamours realize they have crushes on each other while planning their shared partner’s birthday party together. Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disabled queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, all while planning their dominant’s birthday party and trying to do a really good job.

#their troublesome crush #xan west #transmasc #trans books #trans book of the day #queer books #bookblr #booklr

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horsesource · 2 months

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I’m getting obsessed with the arguments between Positive Reinforcement (R+) vs Balanced (uses “aversives”) animal training. So many of the R+ advocates seem incapable of realizing that solely rewarding behavior can absolutely be cruel--the idea seems to be that if treats and sweet voices replace aversive training tools, the possibility of cruelty vanishes: only unconditional love and dogs' "desire to please" remains.

I haven't trained a dog. In fact, if I look back at the family dogs I've shared my life with, they desperately lacked training. I have, however, worked at a place that intended to train autistic children. This place was full-on R+. We were not allowed to use "limit-setting language" (this includes the word "no"); we were to rely upon "errorless learning", prizes and praises for good behavior; we were required to "ignore and redirect" bad behavior. Guess what? This was completely ineffective. I watched so many children's behavioral issues worsen over time. I watched children quite deliberately fuck with teachers, who the children knew were powerless to administer meaningful consequences. I watched children ignore and even seem angered by effusive "gooooooood job!"s.

Now I want to follow the path behaviorism took in its application to humans (mostly humans called autistic)...

As many know, Ivar Lovaas, the man who did much work to establish Applied Behavior Analysis as the "gold standard" of autism intervention, utilized aversive punishment. Take this 1974 interview excerpt:

"When we first started to treat autistic kids we began with only one child. I would pick up Beth at her parents’ house at 9:00 in the morning and I would drop her off at three, so we had her for about six hours a day, five days a week. You spend that much time with someone and you get to know them pretty well. In fact, I saw more of her than I did of my own children. Well, what happened was that she ceased to be a patient for me—she was simply a child, just like one of my own children.

Beth did very well in some ways; she learned very quickly. But she was also very self-destructive. One day I was talking with her teacher and Beth began hitting her head against the edge of a steel cabinet. She would only hit steel cabinets and she would only hit them on the edge because, you see, she wanted to draw blood. Well, I think because I knew her so well, I just reacted automatically, the way I would have with one of my own children. I just reached over and cracked her one right on the rear. She was a big fat girl so I had an easy target. And I remember her reaction: She turned around and looked at me as if to say, 'What the hell is going on? Is this a psychiatric clinic or isn’t it?' And she stopped hitting herself for about 30 seconds and then, you see, she sized up the situation, laid out her strategy and then she hit herself once more. But in those 30 seconds while she was laying out her strategy, Professor Lovaas was laying out his. At first I thought, 'God, what have I done,' but then I noticed that she had stopped hitting herself. I felt guilty, but I felt great. Then she hit herself again and I really laid it on her. You see, by then I knew that she could inhibit it, and that she would inhibit it if she knew I would hit her. So I let her know that there was no question in my mind that I was going to kill her if she hit herself once more, and that was pretty much it. She hit herself a few times after that, but we had the problem licked. One of the things that this taught me was that if you treat these kids like patients, you are finished. The best thing you can do is treat them like people."

To contemporary readers, *to contemporary ABA practitioners*, this is horrifying! This is abuse! And I am not a fan of Lovaas. But you know, today when I read this, I do hold a peculiar kind of respect for his relationship with Beth, and that is what I want to focus on, not Lovaas’s legacy. What stands out to me in the relationship between Lovaas and Beth, as Lovaas tells it, are two things lacking from contemporary ABA manuals. Firstly, there is an emphasis on the particular relationship between two particular people, Lovaas and Beth--"You spend that much time with someone and you get to know them pretty well. In fact, I saw more of her than I did of my own children. Well, what happened was that she ceased to be a patient for me", "Well, I think because I knew her so well, I just reacted automatically, the way I would have with one of my own children"--Lovaas is claiming Beth as "his", as "one of his own children". And Beth, too, clearly has a hold on Lovaas. Lovaas feels guilt, he questions whether he has made the right disciplinary decision (note that this consideration cannot enter the mind of a behaviorist who considers themselves incapable of discipline). Lovaas does not "ignore and redirect" her. Lovaas demonstrates to Beth a committed seriousness to the eradication of her violent behavior. He does not repeatedly read a social story about "Why I Need to Be Safe Around Countertops" in a syrupy sweet voice, nor give her a cookie when she stops hitting her head. In fact, he engages in violent discipline against her behavior! But I do think there might be a coherence to this discipline that is not there in strictly praise-laden practices. I think part of this has to do with Lovaas's second important deviance from contemporary ABA: the attribution of intention to Beth's actions. Good contemporary behaviorists would never ascribe the sort of devious intention Lovaas ascribes to Beth. It's extremely common to hear things such as "well, he/she can't help [behavior]", "he/she doesn't know any better". This attitude is generally considered kindness, whether applied to children or dogs. I disagree. I have seen the training/teaching rhetoric of "they don't know", "all they know is love" cause real damage to relationships. I believe that this strictly positive behaviorism harms humans and our animals, despite its very popularity depending upon a fantasy of "harmless" training/teaching. I am not saying that every human or animal will benefit from verbal and physical discipline. I am sure there are some who will not. We ought to lend more commitment to the specificity of a relationship than to a method. My point is that many of us seem to think that if we eliminate certain tools or words, the potential for cruelty will vanish from our relations. On the contrary: I have seen horrific cruelty in the "kindest" of practices, and I have seen cases where the clarity of disciplinary action would lend a coherence "kinder" than ignorance, a cookie, or a "GOOOOOD JOB!".

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imagines--galore · 1 year

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edward elric with a s/o that is autistic and selectively mute .. ^^

Pairing: Edward Elric x Reader Rating || Genres || Warnings: K. Romance. A/N: Alright so I do hope I did this right! I'm really nervous about writing a character with autism and selective mutism but I do hope that I did an alright job and I don't offend anyone! Also the moment in the end happens after the whole major fight and everything, so Alphonse has his body back, and Ed his arm.

Communication was something you had struggled with for as long as you could remember. Even as a child, when you had shown up at the Rockbell house, you had struggled to get even two words out. But the people that lived there, the Rockbells, only assumed that you were lost. And with the state you had arrived in, one could only deduce that you were an orphan. Perhaps because of the war? Whatever it was, Pinako Rockbell had decided to gather you in her arms and carry you home. You were such a tiny thing. Yurih and Sarah Rockbell had tried their best to deduce your age, but it had been difficult even for them, given your lack information on yourself. Finally, they had decided it was not important. What was important, however, was that you were safe, and with caring people.

Winry had been a little apprehensive of you at first, but her mother had advised her to be kind. And so she had taken you under her wing. She would take you by the hand and the two of you would spend hours exploring. And while you stayed silent, Winry would chatter enough for the both of you.

She even took you to meet her two friend, Edward and Alphonse. And though you had hid behind your new friend, finding the two new boys a little scary, you had slowly come out of your shell.

Over the years, you did show signs of speaking. But those moments were rare and far in-between. And every time you did speak, there was always an emotional outburst from someone.

Like the first time when you had called Winry by her name, and called her your sister. You had then proceeded to acknowledge her parents as your parents, and Pinako as your granny. Oh the tears that had been shed, and though you didn't really understand why they would react so, you did smile widely and accepted their embraces and sweet kisses.

Your next interaction was hilarious. You had been playing with the Elric brothers, alongside your sister when you spied Edward trying to take a heavy tool from Pinako's work bench. He had needed to jump up high to try and get the desired piece of equipment. Edward turned to look at you, and your eyes met. Raising a hand and pointing at the golden haired boy you spoke one word.

Short.

Needless to say, Edward had keeled over at the sorrow of having that word being the first you said to him. Alphonse had laughed and laughed until he had to lie on the floor, while Winry had giggled and hugged you in congratulations. You honestly didn't understand Edmund's reaction. You had only stated the truth.

Moments like these always sought to bring you closer to your loved ones. And though you didn't speak for a good year or so after your parents death, you did come back from it.

And that too happened when you saw the pain and suffering that Edward and Alphonse felt after they tried to get their mother back. You didn't know what had happened, wasn't really able to understand it. All you did know was the Alphonse was hiding in the armor, and Edward was hurt.

Hurt bad.

You had sat beside him during his recovery, and had helped however you could. From getting him food, water or new sheets, your tasks were minimal, yet it brought you some satisfaction. That you were able to make him comfortable.

You had been very sad to see him and Alphonse leave, but Edward promised he would be back, and you knew he would never break a promise. And you had made a promise to him, that you would try and talk a little bit more. At least with the people you were familiar with. He had smiled and patted you on the head. You were both the same height at that point of your age, and you had smiled brightly at him in return.

Over the years you had discovered that if there was one thing you were good at when it came to communication it was through flowers.

Every flower held a different meaning. A secret message. From an early age you had filled books upon books of research and notes that detailed every last piece of information that could be found on flowers, both local and rare.

Whenever Edward and Alphonse would return from one of their trips, they would bring you new books about flowers and you would devour them in days.

It was here that you started to speak. You had a certain confidence in your knowledge of flowers. From the very tips of their roots to the softness of their petals. Winry and Pinako would listen to you speak for as much as you were able. It was slow progress, but it was something. And though you were mostly still a very quiet person, you were able to communicate a little more.

It was during that time, when Edward and Alphonse returned for one of Edward's leg repairs, that you decided to show them your new-found skill. Flower crowns.

While Winry worked on Edward's leg, you managed to drag both brothers out into the open ground around the Rockbell house. Alphonse was more then happy to indulge in your new activity, wanting to spend more time with you. Edward was simply content on lazing around and laying on the ground with his arms behind his head.

You spoke to Alphonse at length about every flower the two of you were adding to your flower crowns. You had picked a bunch of flowers for the occasion, to make a crown for everyone.

Winry, and Granny and Den, and Alphonse and Edward,

You had stopped talking sometime ago, but Alphonse had continued speaking, telling you about all the adventures he and his brothers had had, all the people they had met.

Your gaze flickered over to where Edward lay a few paces away. You glanced down at the flower garland in your hands before glancing back at the boy. Alphonse seemed to have understood your little dilemma. He gave you an encouraging nudge and a nod. You rose to your feet, slowly walking towards him, leaving Alphonse to place Den's flower crown on his head.

You stood over Edward, prompting the boy to open one eye and gaze up at you.

"What is it Y/n?" He asked, grumbling softly at having his semi-nap disturbed. Silently you held out the crown you had made for him. Edward sighed, sitting up and holding a hand out to take it. You smiled happily as you lay the delicate garland in his hands. Edward gave a small smile before asking.

"What do these mean?" He gently ran a finger along the white petals of the flowers.

You took a deep breath before explaining. "They're called daisies. And they're used to represent many things when given to someone else. Some of them are, purity, joy, new beginnings, and innocent love." At the last part Edward seemed to freeze up, his gaze turning to meet yours as you smiled down at him. The wind picked up a little as his mind raced. He was more then aware then when it came to you, things were taken in the literal sense. And he may be stupid at times, even he admitted it, but he had known you long enough to understand you completely.

Though you would never come outright and say it, you conveyed your feelings through your actions or with flowers. And right now, he couldn't help but allow a small smile to pull at his lips.

With a blush creeping along his cheeks, Edward slowly stood up. Standing in front of you, he raised the crown to his head and allowed it to nestle against his golden hair. Your eyes widened in absolute delight as you clapped your hands and let out a small joyful laugh. And Edward Elric fell all the more in love with your sweet nature.

Though he had already been halfway there over the years, this moment simply confirmed it.

#edward x reader #edward x y/n #edward elric x reader #edward elric x y/n #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fmab

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esse-lunam · 5 months

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an introduction to: my 90s fame dr!

please read this god please there's art in here also ive put 5+ months of work into this dr at this point so i swear that there's interesting shit in here yall I SWEAR I AM NICHE.

reblogs greatly appreciated! this took me forever teehee

ohhh my god this is a long time in the making, ive put this off for so, so long and i really couldn't tell you why. this can act as a script me into ur dr post if you like as well!

for starters, you can find my pinterest board for this dr here :3 just in case u want some cool visuals i guess :3

so lets get the basics outta the way shall we?

full name: marley jo veitch

nicknames: mar, marley barley, mars bars, tink (reserved for s/o), living poet (public figure nickname type deal? yknow how stevie nicks gets called the white witch? yeah that)

pronouns: they/she

DOB: june 1st, 1970 (which makes me a gemini btw!)

occupation: musician (piano, violin, guitar n bass, some drums, and saxophone), poet, author (fiction and nonfiction), actor on occasion, also a comedian that one time

skills: all things music + writing basically, film analysis, pop culture analysis i guess, home decor, drawing, fashion?, and being the most autistic person in the multiverse

appearance stats: 5'3", 145ish lbs, long brownish-reddish hair with some light brown highlights in there, sorta wavy but barely

body mods: COVERED in tats (theres a tattoo section on the pinterest board but i also drew some so), septum piercing, snake bites, and a fair few ear piercings. and also i have glasses but thats not a body mod thats just a thing on my body.

"workin and workin't? you have a job?" more on that later!

relationships and such! with photos!

s/o: robert sean leonard

"hey, do i recognise this guy?" you might! he played notable roles such as neil perry in dead poet's society, claudio in much ado about nothing, and james wilson in house md!

best friends: dylan kussman, allelon ruggiero, alexandra powers, and kimya dawson

"do i recognise more of these people?" again, probably! dylan, al, and alex were all in dead poets society, and kimya is a musician best known for her indie songs, some featured in the movie juno!

my career! (oh good lord)

writing based - undedicated musings

(1986-1993)

alright so this is a bit hard to explain, bear with me. undedicated musings is an anonymous newsletter-based poetry... publication? run by me, under the pen name 'chartreuse', and the whole shtick is that i write poetry, love letters, and whatever else to the person i'll end up spending my life with, but the recipient of said writings is completely unknown, even to me, so im kinda just writing to nobody. until! i actually set my eyes on someone (obviously rsl) and then the writings start to get a bit more specific and yearn-y and personal. since the recipient is anonymous, all the writings are written for a 'vermillion'. both chartreuse and vermillion's identities are revealed when we get married in 1993. and no, rsl doesn't know that i'm chartreuse, nobody does until i reveal myself. i think its kinda cool :3

film based - dead poet's society

(1988-1989)

so for starters, i was part of the crew that worked on the set of dead poets society, now all my friends (except kimya, her and i become friends in the late 90s) make sense! my actual job on set is kind of a vague be-here-and-do-a-bit-of-everything type deal, so there's no set title beyond "assistant to lead" even tho it's essentially government assigned 'friendship' LMAO. but! me and the cast get on like a house on fire, so i kinda just get to tag along on their wacky teenage-ish boy adventures. this totally does not stem from a desire to be part of a teenage boy friend group, and i am, in fact, totally cisgender. i am also lying. anyway, without going into too much detail, me and my s/o-not-yet-s/o (will be referring to him as rsl from this point on) sorta have a painstakingly long will they wont they type deal, because i guess i like torturing myself. we meet a day before all the actual film stuff starts just as a sort of preliminary get to know eachother because you'll be in close proximity VERY often for months. thats some time in march - june-ish? of 1988 (i shift to my dr the day before!) and we don't actually get together until june of 1989. so.

also! some changes to the movie because i can make those: knox overstreet is now played by matthew lillard instead of josh charles, because josh charles is a fucking zionist and i dont want to associate with him in any reality! knox also isnt a b plot to the movie at all, instead focusing on meeks and pitts because i find them much more interesting! and also knox's b plot is creepy as hell! also, the racism against natives (read this!) is completely gone! no thanks!

music based - MAURZI

(1988-2004 technically)

strap in boys because this is the main event of this dr and the lore is VAST. MAURZI (must be spelled in all caps, like MF DOOM) is a sort of musical person/character i've made to tell the story of via a series of albums. i release my first single in october of 1988 titled "lunarian", which is a fun little song about a being from the moon arriving on earth and having some inter-planetary culture shock. and thats the only song i've actually planned! i release 6 total albums that map out the MAURZI storyline kinda

- MAURZI (1989)

- GONE TO SHIT! (1991)

- Charmed (1992)

- I found Him in Santa Barbara (1995)

- Waterworks (1998)

- also bibliography (2004) but those are released as songs By Me and not MAURZI, just released under the same artist. MAURZI storyline ends with Waterworks.

now here's where you get the very extensive MAURZI lore. MAURZI is a sort of alternate-universe representation of me, where in i'm much more famous than i actually am in my dr, and i am absolutely RUINED by my fame in a fuck ton of ways. each album is a different section of her life so i'll explain it album by album. also for reference, in my dr capitalism/ currency isnt a thing, but in the MAURZI... verse? it is. because i like anti capitalist art! same goes for most other media im in/ participate in, actually. MAURZI uses she/her pronouns btw, i dont.

MAURZI - my self-titled album is about as close and personal to my life as i'll get, which an average amount because i still throw in some songs about shit that i have not at all done/ experienced. (ex. songs about cheating, toxic relationships, and things along those lines. thankfully ive had a mostly healthy relationship with relationships! except that one time!) MAURZI is new to the music scene but she's here to make some lovely tunes to help process some stuff! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sarah kinsley, dodie, jeff buckley, tv girl, mitski, and peach pit.

GONE TO SHIT! - MAURZI's first album blew the fuck up! now she's thrown into the midst of dealing with an incomprehensible amount of attention on her at all times, which she was absolutely not prepared for. what does she do to cope? sex drugs and rock n roll, baby! she also gets addicted to 2 outta those 3 things! can you guess which ones?? now, obviously, this album is entirely fictional and is only tangentially inspired by some life events, heavy emphasis on the tangentially. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the nonstick pans, panic! at the disco, forest, david bowie, chappel roan, and king gizzard & the lizard wizard.

Charmed - the love song album! this is basically comprised of songs i sorta wrote about rsl, but changed up a fuck ton because i wrote them while i was pining and did Not want him to knkw who they were about. in terms of MAURZI stuff, she meets someone just after deciding that she's gotta clean up her act if she wants to exist healthily. recovering alongside a loved one and them being a motivator for recovery! now i should specify here that MAURZI's s/o is not the same as mine, and is entirely gender neutral/ doesn't even have a canon(?) human appearance at all. they're named Vermillion because we love a callback! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the smiths, siouxsie and the banshees, james blake, queen, laufey, and her's.

I found Him in Santa Barbara - yknow how when a banana ripens too much and it starts to tuen brown? yeah imagine that logic but applied to recovery, i guess. NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO REITERATE THAT MAURZI AND I ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND MAURZI IS JUST A CHARACTER. essentially MAURZI had a spiritual awakening and "found god." but what that ACTUALLY means is that she started viewing vermillion as a sort of god? but she's keeping it on the down low (making an album about it) because she doesn't want vermillion to thing she's CRINGE. themes of loving a god, being IN love with a god, being in lust with a god, temporarily thinking youre a god? stuff along those lines. its a bit intense, VERY experimental and.. heavy? both in themes and in musical style for some portions. this is my fav album out of all of them if you couldnt tell. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sleep token, WILLOW, type o negative, slipknot, lemon demon (specifically songs off spirit phone), hozier, violent vira, pierce the veil, gorillaz kinda, bjork, kate bush, deftones, destroy boys, and rammstein probably.

Waterworks - so yknow how MAURZI was having a whole trouble with god moment? yeah well thats gone now, no i haven't figured out how that'll work narratively, thats for me to figure out in like 10 years from now (now being 1988, naturally.) we've returned to our self-titled roots in terms of musical style! now we've just got some fun themes of trauma and such! and then that's the and of MAURZI as a character story wise, as i said earlier the album after this one is just a Me album. same artist inspo as self titled!

and guess what! music lore isnt even fuckin done! my music in this dr is a multiverse in itself goddamn. so basically the album covers for each album tell a completely seperate story about a completely seperate alter ego/ character/ whatever named Moonzi. name given by my audience (which is my excuse for coming up with such a shitty name and then keeping it.) the story of moonzi, without going into too much detail because i dont wanna type it all out, is a sci-fi type story about a being from the moon (lunarian callback!) on a quest to bring this space artifact back to its original place, basically. a bit more on it later, emphasis on a bit. also! each album cover is drawn by a different artist, and each album artist animates one official music video off their respective album, just cuz i like art and stuff! those music videos kinda follow the moonzi storyline loosely, but incorporate MAURZI elements. is this confusing? hope not. drawings!

writing based - novels

can you believe im still not done? like not even close? certified yapper. anyway! my 3 fiction novels (Manchester, NH - 1991, Curator Rye, 1997, Sand Dollars + Pearls - 2008) are about my ocs basically! thats it really, i dont feel the need to share the plots of those tbh.

writing based - autobiographies

two? yep! one is a fictional autobiography about MAURZI (MAURZI - 1999) and one is a non fictional autobiography about me (Radio Free Marley - 2012.) take a shot every time i say MAURZI and you will need to get your stomach pumped. she just. she means a lot to me :3

film based - doctor who

(1994-1999)*

*these dates are when im on the show btw, not its total runtime, same applies to other cr existing shows.

big disclaimer: never seen doctor who. dont know the plot, dont know which doctor i'm gonna be, i just wanna be in it.

so! my version of the doctor is kinda weird. its one doctor, but played by two people, but theyre one person. we're both the doctor. and by we i mean both me and rsl, obviously. the viewer sees the doctor as two different people, but NOBODY ELSE IN THE DAMN SHOW besides our little companion buddy guy (played by my cr friend fish!) SEES, ACKNOWLEDGES, OR IS ABLE TO VIEW THE DOCTOR AS TWO PEOPLE. its really complicated and i really did not have to make it that way, but its cool to me so i really dont care. also we're breakjng the doctor who cycle of boring suit and tie (this is NOT about you 15 <3) and going steampunk-esque. again, cuz i wanna.

film based - house md

(2005 - 2010)

marley veitch be in a show without rsl challenge (failed.) i play a character i made up named Nanette Amesbury who is essentially wilson's first ex wife. does he have a canon first ex wife? think so (i actually havent finished house oops.) do i care? you can take a guess. nanette (nicknamed ninny - which im well aware means dumb) is the director of the pediatrics department at princeton plainsboro and she kinda has a fwb type deal with wilson before figuring out shes a lesbian, having a crush on cuddy, being besties with kutner, then leaving the show in season 6. (zeth if ur reading this yes i made her show up for more than 2 seconds she just. means so much to me. also i want cudbury content.) im also a writer for the show so im there for its entire run time :3 i really like this show :3

film based - moonzi

(2016)

YEAHHHHH BABY SHES BACK!!! moonzi's storyline gets adapted into an adult swim animated tv show! i do screenwriting, stiryboarding, and voice acting! style wise, think teen titans mixed with bojack horseman mixed with archer. sick space visuals also!

comedy based - dying art

(2020)

idk i wanted to do a standup special! dunno what it's about. ill leave that up to future me to decide because this isn't happening for 32 damn years and i really just dont wanna come up with a standup special rn.

film based - radio free marley

(whenever)

i wanted a biopic, but i wanted it to be both about me and MAURZI, and how points in my life influenced or inspire songwriting. so the episode structure is like

ep 1: about me, point in my life

ep 2: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 1

ep 3: about me, point in my life

ep 4: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 3

ep 5: you get the idea

and then this goes on for 12 episodes and ends with the MAURZI story wrapping up and with me sorta retiring kinda. dont know when it'll be made, probably at some point in my 60s or whatever. im permashifting if you couldnt tell btw.

and thats it! after all this im just kinda existing and living life and whatever else. so with that outta the way i'll list some fun facts and i'll FINALLY BE DONE JESUS CHRIST IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR LIKE 3 HOURS.

- i live in new york city! manhattan to be specific

- i also have a lake house in new hampshire because i Need to be in a rural area at some points

- my house's interior design is very 70s themed and its WHIMSICAL AND FUN! maximalism, whimsigoth, nooks and crannys to be in, fun and varied seating options, conversation pit, loft bedroom, whole 9 yards. ive also got a gazebo on my roof!

- i have 2 siblings in my dr (not here im an only child in my cr womp womp) named lia and monty, theyre my best friends in my cr!

- ive also got a cat! she's a ragdoll kitty named yvonne, shes a sweetheart!

- i scripted out light pollution so the sky is all pretty at night, highly recommend you do the same

- im in STOMP at one point, dont know or care when, i just wanna be in it

- robin williams........... he is a father figure to me................ sniff sob

- yes i scripted out his death i simply cannot deal with that

- PUBLIC TRANSPORT AND WALKABLE SOCIETY!!!!! NO MORE CAR BASED US SOCIEY WOOOO!!!

- i cant fucking believe i havent mentioned this yet but im scottish?? im not scottish in my cr i was just thinking about david tennant when i was forming the dr idea back in january and it stuck. MAURZI is american tho

- hilson is canon in my dr LMAOAOOA

- thats all i got

sweet lord in heaven above if you've read this whole thing im giving u a big kiss. this is so long and i really dont wanna proofread it so im not gonna, excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes.

#VOLO LUNAM #LUNAM est. 1988 #reality shifting #shiftblr #desired reality #reality shifter #shifting realities #shifting #shifting community #shifting antis dni #dr intro

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