#the breakdown genuinely fascinates me because like.

[fellhellion]

The way Miles accidentally hits what seems to be - given the severity of Miguel’s reaction - such a huge fucking bruise with the “Are those claws? Dude, are you sure you’re spiderman?” and it’s this trigger for Miguel just fucking. Exploding with everything he’s kept under lock and key like. Resentment over the way he seems to feel deeply isolated in the emotional burden of what he does, blaming Miles for what he believes was the catalyst which led to him being in this position (RIPeter’s death), hitting back (verbally) to hurt with the anomaly comments when it’s like dude. If they keep your origin intact, you’re both the so similar, and because this kid is living proof of every doubt you’re trying to suppress.

[sky-fire-forever]

A character dynamic in Our Flag Means Death that I love that I don't see many people talk about is Izzy and Fang.

Fang is comfortable enough to insult Izzy and talk shit about him. You might think "Oh, Dennis, isn't that a bad thing? Doesn't that mean Fang dislikes Izzy?" But I genuinely don't think so

Fang is AFRAID of Ed. Even before the Kraken, Fang thinks Blackbeard is gonna see him messing around and he's genuinely scared, calling him "the boss". But when he learns it's Izzy who is coming, he immediately relaxes. He's not afraid of Izzy at all. He's comfortable enough to call him "Izzy the Spewer" and tell the embarrassing story that goes with it without fearing that Izzy will kill or harm him

Now, do I think Izzy and Fang are particularly CLOSE? Not really. I don't think Izzy is really close with anyone besides Ed. He's the First Mate, always below the captain and above the crew in a category of his own. I don't think he and Fang can really be described as friends at all.

But Fang does care about Izzy to some degree. He cries when Izzy is shot. He comforts Izzy during his breakdown, holding him and reassuring him. Izzy is his annoying boss, but he's still a person to him, especially when Fang starts seeing the cracks in his armor

And I find it so interesting that Izzy encourages Fang (and Ivan), watching them be a bit theatrical with their hostages and even smiling about it. They work well together.

When Izzy does snap and grab Fang's beard and be a dick, Ivan suggests that Fang tell him he doesn't like it. Which actually is fascinating to me because he feels comfortable enough to suggest talking to Izzy about their treatment. And Izzy doesn't actually do it again

I think Fang and Izzy becoming genuine friends would be so interesting to see. Fang cares so much about people and Izzy's such a little asshole that I think their relationship would be interesting.

[bengiyo]

We Must All Get Louder and Gayer About La Pluie Immediately

I understand that this show only airs on iQIYI and that most of us canceled that after KinnPorsche and/or Love in the Air, but I’m gonna need y’all to re-up those subscriptions and get on this train right now. This and Step By Step have been some of the most intriguing romance explorations we’ve had in the realm of Thai BL in a long time, and you are missing out on this incredibly breakdown of the soulmate and fast romance tropes that I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve seen some consternation about whether this show is honoring or defying conventions within romance and BL, and I don’t think that’s the most enjoyable way to engage with a piece of media in a mature genre. I think it’s more useful to ask questions like:

How is this show using those conventions?

What do these conventions fit?

What new things have we learned about ourselves or the genre as a result?

We’ve been unpacking the soulmate idea from the very beginning (@lurkingshan). The show upended our expectations about that from the opening scenes by showing us a romantic man who doubts in his own romantic destiny because his parents divorced. The show has then gone on to state quite plainly that it believes that the hearing loss connection is entirely coincidental, and that what people do in their relationships with other people is what matters the most.

We are sitting in the audience, and so we know that this is a romance. We fully understand that Tai and Patts will more than likely be together at the end of this story. What that knowledge and expectation allows the show to poke at the development of relationships in dramas. The characters are in a slow burn romance, but everyone in their lives doesn’t think they should be! That’s been incredibly fascinating because we so often see BL characters rushed into a relationship with each other that we are always surprised when they aren’t (Bad Buddy, My School President, Bed Friend). It’s been incredibly enjoyable for me to see a romance refuse to rush their characters into commitment with each other.

My good friend @lurkingshan wrote about this subversion of tropes and expectations this morning as they pertain to Lomfon. She makes the point that we expected Lomfon to be a bigger factor going into episode 7 than he was, and that’s also I think part of the point. He’s not a threat to the core romance, but he does have a role to play in this story. For me, I think he’s here to reinforce that skepticism and doubt are critical to making any sort of relationship or belief system function. Your ability to handle new challenges and things that confuse you are critical to being able to maintain a commitment. It doesn’t work if it’s forced.

As for misunderstandings, this show also continues to be intentional about this. As far back as episode 4, Dream chided Patts for not making things clear with Nara. Patts listened but hoped that his non-answer would be enough for Nara. Likewise, Bow has warned Tai twice about Lomfon’s clear desire for him, and how by not making things clear Tai may also face difficulties.

This comes to a head this week with Nara. I agree with @ginnymoonbeam that Nara’s return lets the narrative blow up Tai’s uncertainties he’s left bubbling since the beginning. I personally love Nara’s reintroduction here because Tai is romantic and because he genuinely seemed to like Nara. He liked that she still knew how to take care of her ex. He liked the determination she showed to travel all the way to Chiang Mai to pursue him. He was rooting for her! Even if he misunderstands the kiss, it’s not really about the kiss. It’s about the fact that someone he admires cares for Patts, and he likely worries that he’s the reason they didn’t work out. He’s also still questioning if the mutual attraction between himself and Patts can be trusted.

Moving on to the intimacy, I wrote last week about the way this show has made it clear that these are two men interested in each other. Following up on that this week, we entered an incredible liminal space in their relationship. Patts signaled earlier in the episode when they first got to their room that he is hoping to pick up where they left off with their last intimate moment. Both went into this bed fully aware of the sexual tension between them.

Tai is the one who opens the door this time by first offering the massage and then initiating the kiss. Things heat up between them, with Tai again on top to remain in control of the situation, something @shouldiusemyname points out here. Tai once again asks Patts to stop when he moves to escalate the encounter, but Tai shows Patts that he is interested in him. He offers to help him out by performing the act that Patts was most certainly going to do last week. This is incredibly fascinating for me, because I have always asserted that bottoms are the ones in most control of an encounter. I do not read Tai choosing to take care of Patts as him giving up control in any way. In fact, it’s a way for him to further maintain it. He reassures Patts that he is happy to be here and lets them release the tension of the moment.

Also, I just absolutely lose it over the lip flick.

gif by @pharawee​

Once again, I cannot overstate how radical it is for me to see a show saying that the one performing the act is the one in control of the encounter, and has the character who’s feeling unsure use that as a way to explore their own feelings. Tai needed to know that he likes making Patts happy. Please list the other BLs that have done this with sex in the notes. It’s not very often we get this!

Also, look at this man. This is not the face of a man who is being coerced. This is the afterglow of two people navigating their intimate relationship (@ginnymoonbeam).

He’s literally rubbing his hand because as they spoon because he’s so relieved.

I also just absolutely love Patts. I love that he keeps leaving notes for Saengtai to make sure he knows where they are.

Look at him walking around the next morning. He seems pleased...like a man can seem pleased.

We just never get this kind of stuff in genre. This is a classic romance of the Nora Roberts variety that’s allowing us to show two men navigating their romance and intimacy on their terms while also showing that even fated mates must be good partners to each other. This is a story that loves romance and loves the conventions of the drama. It is approaching each thread with clear-eyed conviction, and we as queer viewers deserve this.

So, I’m going to need you all to get louder, weirder, and gayer about this show. We gotta get more people on this one. We can’t let this show be forgotten because it’s not on YouTube.

Once again, thank you for coming to my post.

tagging @wen-kexing-apologist​ and @kyr-kun-chan​ for all the conversation we’ve had about this show.

[moonshynecybin]

#he really does cut people out cold shoulder them with no discussion huh.... fascinating man......#invisible transgressions remembered forever at arms length#he is. i think. pathologically nonconfrontational. idk even with the sepang stuff.#like he doesnt look at marc AT ALL only performs to the press. same with argentina he sends uccio.... <- *eye* have a theory that vale on his factory settings is actually quite a desperate people-pleaser. not necessarily in a "i need others to approve of me" way (though that too) but in a "i need for others to cheer for me" (to try and explain what i mean better, he's not doing anything just to get the approval but he wants to feel approved/supported for whatever he's doing. different catalysts for action, same need). that's why he can play the crowd so well. and sepang - i think it was genuinely a protracted breakdown caused by vale realizing he's not superhuman anymore and his lead slipping and compounded by the anniversary of the worst loss he's suffered in his life

post about graziano here, jorge confrontation here

like the thing about vale is. well we dont personally know him. so outside of stuff people close to him tell us, we only see the side of him he wants to show the press, which is still him, just more of a performance, i think. its already been discussed AT LENGTHHH that he loves to do this sort of performance and is just. generally very good at being a celebrity. and i think its an extension of his PR deftness that when jorge comes at him he just laughs and looks at his audience. he ropes them into a private joke, like can you believe this guy? which jorge (who takes to confrontation like a duck to water) HATES so bad. its a very effective deflection tactic. fr the easiest way to seem like the bad guy is to treat an argument like it is worthy of your attention. so he meep-meep roadrunner court jesters his way through off track conflict for the majority of his career. and yes he makes enemies and they tell US that he is being cold and prickly and treating them differently. but crucially. he does not seem anything other than a Chill Dude in front of the cameras. until well. sepang lol.

so yes! i think he is invested in controlling these narratives and good at it to boot. but!!!! where it gets crazy is when you get to the personal arenas. like the people he loves that he is actually invested in. where his feelings are on the line fr.

like for other (professional) conflicts he gets over it!! but not with his dad and not with marc. and part of the marc stuff is the ego involved (theyre having a GOAT-off) and the professional stakes, as ive discussed. BUT. i think he doesnt get over these two because. well. because they really really hurt his feelings, i think. like he's said in the past that he's been able to get over the rivalries he has with other racers (like biaggi) bc they WERENT friends before so he didnt gaf when it got nasty. but. he still. REALLY cares with marc. (and of course with his parents divorce. like yeah that makes sense) so i actually think its very telling that he isnt over sepang. and that he didnt look at marc at all whenever they had their epic divorce moments (sepang press conference, postrace argentina 2018) rosquez would be less real if he could just move on lol. like it is a divorce to them both for REAL. so vale is going to handle it the same way he did with his parents and quietly cut marc out while making it. VERY clear. that marc is no longer one of the people that he holds within the select bubble that gets to see vale without all of his press trappings.

[throwaway-yandere]

"No." (Yandere!Albedo/Reader)

A/n: I got sick but it just so happens I live off of spite so I finally finished this fic. Most characters are a bit/really obnoxious here. Also, the reader's state of mind and relationships with friends are unhealthy so if you're sensitive to the following CW please skip this fic. (If you're wondering why the fic is... Like this then here's me rambling here)

Unreliable synopsis: You kissed the most popular professor on campus. (Subtle yan!fic)

gn!reader

Cw: yandere, unhealthy friendship dynamics with clingy!sucrose & other characters, student/teacher relationship implications, the reader is an eccentric "class clown" with implied mild impostor syndrome, and small mentions of sexual harassment. (I'm not a medical professional so please take the impostor syndrome warning with a grain of salt– just added it in case this type of content is triggering. This isn't smut and it doesn't fully explore the last topic, but still please reach out for support if you are a victim of sexual harassment. Title IX is a very real thing.)

-------

"Does accidentally kissing someone cross a line in Title IX?"

That sentence alone makes you sound incredibly criminal out of context, and it doesn't get better with it either.

Your long-time friend, Sucrose, became fixated on setting you up with a romantic partner after the breakup you had three months prior. 

It was not a heart-wrenching tale, if anything, the entire relationship you had with Arataki Itto plays off as a major joke. You dated the man simply because you thought his impulsive behavior was entertaining, and oddly enough, he found your unpredictable temperament alluring. You just never anticipated that the idiot will buy an overpriced toy drum when you asked him to get a coke and "get something for yourself as well."

It's no surprise you permitted him to spend your money. But that wasn't even supposed to be a gamble. That was just an instruction, and he failed HARD. Arataki "I-swear-you-didn't-say-Pepsi(???)" Itto... got you orange juice. 

Breaking up was a huge relief. Instead of adopting a façade of the partner he wants, you have at last discovered the temporary freedom to choose over what you enjoy. For a while, they didn't treat you like a court jester; instead, they gave you the tender care you'd reserve for a helpless person.

Sucrose was distraught when you two decided to stop everything after Itto wasted most of your money by falling for Dori's scam. She appeared to be more affected than you two. Sucrose must have thought of you two as "the Golden pair" since she is naturally fascinated by research about personalities and relationships— more notably the 16 personality types. Seeing you two break up was an antithesis to her defense on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. You broke up due to (financial) differences, and there's no unreliable science needed to learn that.

Here lies the problem: Sucrose refused to give up.

You've heard concerns about her callous demeanor in person and online. Some people thought it endearing that you have a friend who genuinely cares about you, while others consider her nagging to be a burden, and rightfully so.

You felt icky after accidentally seeing her list of candidates, yet you can't bring yourself to make a strong effort to stop her. Sucrose lost two of her best friends last year in an accident, and you are essentially the only support that's keeping her sanity in check, but sometimes you feel as though you are risking your health on the line. She had written down some questionably extensive background on every man and woman she thought was worthy... You don't even want to know why Ajax is on that list.

No matter the reason, that didn't stop Timaeus from barfing out his triple-layered peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"W-WHAT on EARTH did you DO this time?!"

Sure is tough being a menace to society.

Hah... You're already on the brink of a mental breakdown and yet you still kept making self-deprecating jokes.

"WHAT'S with THE reaction?" You asked, casually copying his tone before you sank to your seat. "It's JUST a QUESTION."

"We know how you work, (Y/n)!" He knew you were purposefully trying to rile him up, yet Timaeus slammed a fist on the table in exaggerated disgust. "You did the EXACT same thing last time. You asked us 'hOw bAd woUld iT bE iF I datEd a gaNgstEr' and then you fucking did it anyways! What the hell– heck."

Timaeus's outburst was audible throughout the entire cafeteria, yet nobody seemed to care. The other people you shared the table with, Ying'er, Collei, and Tighnari all cast curious glances at you. It's not as though they have never heard of your misadventures before, frankly, whenever something happens they avidly observe it. You're all inseparable because of your shticks. However, apart from Sucrose, Dorian had been awol from your friend group, and it is no less due to the headline you're about to announce.

None of them took you too seriously, which they should have, given the nature of Title IX. As "good" friends, they should've worried over your safety and overall wellbeing. 

You could feel tears of fear and frustration swell up in your eyes.

Yet you couldn't be mad at them for reacting this way.

You're the chaotic link– the friend that didn't quite fit in– assigned to the role of being the "funny one." It started with a single joke until you unintentionally formed a false sense of confidence that you're something bigger than what you are. Everyone thinks you're hilarious, and you're afraid of disappointing them. You weren't trying to be funny most of the time, they just want someone to laugh and point at. Even though you are academically above average yourself, without your carelessness and gambles, you practically have nothing to offer this otherwise brilliant population.

Timaeus may not always deliver the right answer in his alchemy test papers, but he's never wrong about you even if he's drunk off of two bottles of Death After Noon. You recall Timaeus specifically in that instance because he was right; you have no future and you won't amount to anything.

In short, your image dilemma can be summed up by something you said high out of your mind in front of the mirror: "I think I accidentally gained an ego after joking about being hot and sexy one too many times, and now I'm being punished for my hubris." (You're never asking Lisa for philosophy book recommendations on Sundays ever again.)

And if it's true that you have no future and that you're nothing more than an insecure fraud, then you might as well come clean right now and let your "friends" break their ties. It doesn't matter, not anymore.

Ying'er laughed heartily. Contrary to her lover, she loves it whenever you act like this since it makes her normally composed and optimistic boyfriend snap and curse... You would know because she constantly divulges pointless details about how "hot" it was in private messages. And you two weren't even that close when she first did that. But now she's practically your unofficial attorney with how many times she played devil's advocate. You'll miss her.

"Why are you already accusing them? Who knows, maybe they're the victim here, babe. You're being too insensitive."

"Yeah, Tim, you should listen to your girlfriend over here." You nudged him and he glared vehemently.

"(Y/n), you're not supposed to openly agree with me, but yeah, why don't you give them the benefit of the doubt?"

You gave Ying'er a weak friendly wink and a thumbs up, feeling repulsed at yourself deep down. It's incredibly flattering for her to insinuate a professor would find you attractive rather than filing a restraining order.

She'll probably hate you once she finds out the truth, right? She did have a crush on your victim.

"This is them we're talking about." Timaeus glared. "They're bound to do something stupid. C'mon, Tighnari, say something!"

Tighnari merely shrugged and stabbed his fork into a mushroom (presumably poisonous, given its unnatural blue color). He had grown tired of dealing with your antics over the years. No lecture had ever worked in the past, and you both telepathically agreed that streak was not going to end today. You're lying about being self-possessed. He knew that whenever this happens, you were trying to be an idiot, and did not allow yourself to be an idiot. There's a fine difference between those two, and he knows which is which.

In a way, Tighnari views you in a more positive light than most of your friends. And he could sense that you have more grave matters to say.

So, he played along to help you set the mood. "I said this yesterday and I'll say it again: we're studying to become botanists. We're growing plants. Our future job isn't to help them grow a brain."

"Facts." You snapped your fingers and smugly nodded.

"Don't just agree with him!"

"You can grow plants all you want but just know my Timaeus right here doesn't need any more growing if you catch my drift~."

"Ying'er." Collei groaned.

"What? I was just saying his height is perfect enough as it is."

"I feel like we're having thirty different conversations at once." 

"Your mother is thirty different conversations at once–"

"Mx. (L/n)."

The table went silent. Except for yourself, who's still droning on, unfinished. Everyone noticed the uninvited man in the cafeteria and their lips were silenced. 

Here he is. 

"–eeegood evening, Professor Albedo." You stood up from your seat and slightly bowed your head down.

It's the untouchable Professor Albedo. The Alchemy Professor on this forsaken campus exudes a breath of freshness even if the scent of chemicals follows him like an affectionate dog. The only person that students would ogle at amid all the balding learning facilitators. Sucrose's mentor. Dorian's 32-year-old brother. The "Kreideprinz".

And the guy that might just sue you for your careless mistake.

Your circle caught the tension between you two and started watching the scene unfold like a car accident.

Professor Albedo cocked his head forward. You never claimed to be one of his adoring fans who can spot his emotions after one look, but your gut tells you that he's more than amused despite his stoic expression. He's similar to Dorian in that aspect.

"I trust that you've read the excerpt I've sent you?" He asked in almost a whisper.

You thoughtlessly lamely pulled up your library-borrowed copy of Title IX. In your perspective, nothing matters anymore, so you might as well let it out there.

Your friends jolted simultaneously, someone even dropped their utensils while Collei hit her knee up the table and hissed at the pain.

"Oh my God..." Timaeus shuddered.

Your friends had the face that collectively screamed "YOU MADE OUT WITH PROFESSOR ALBEDO?!" in all capitals, bold, italics, underlined, shadowed with thick black strokes– whatever makes it more out there. They're not in the wrong to react that way. 

In one single move, you broke 2 rules on the so-called Bro Code, one being the infamous "don't fuck my brother" and the second being the lesser known "don't fuck my professor". Not only that, but most importantly you violated a line or two in Title IX. 

Leave it to (Y/n) (L/n) to break more than three rules on the daily.

... You really should stop making jokes as a coping mechanism.

The cafeteria started to murmur, urging their seatmates for information they don't have. You released a small, clipped laugh. You should've thought that one through.

Tighnari meets your eyes with a sympathetic stare. You could tell he had more to say, but your heavy heart no longer wished to know.

"... Great work." The professor said just as nonchalantly. No doubt, he tried to salvage your reputation but you sabotaged it yourself. How wasteful. He beckoned you forward with one finger. 

"Come with me. We'll talk somewhere more private."

You walked away from your table and gave them one look.

They were incredibly disturbed to see a small sad smile on your face, rather than the wide mischievous grin that they were used to. After seeing that, they all had one emotionally detached thought in mind:

So, it wasn't a joke after all.

--------------

You neither like nor dislike Professor Albedo.

There are multiple fluffs about how friendly and dorkish he is as a reclusive person, but none of them sparked your interest. You often feigned reactions whenever Dorian expresses his apparent disdain for his more successful brother, and your sly smile barely reaches your eyes. If anything, hearing about the same man over and over again makes him feel oversaturated rather than entertaining. He's too perfect in those gossips that you're bored to tears. 

At least the rumors were positively right about one thing: his tastefully braided blonde hair and blue eyes make him no lesser than a portrait of a prince. But no more special than Dorian, in all honesty. You wouldn't be able to know which is which if they wore similar clothes and let their hair down. They're like clones of each other.

Albedo kept fidgeting a hand inside his pocket, and you can't hazard a guess as to what it is. A recording device, perhaps? You pride yourself on your ability to read and toy people like clockwork. That ability, however, does not translate well with Professor Albedo. 

You snapped out of your trance as the professor began reading what was on his clipboard.

"(Y/n) (L/n). 27. Graduate School. Taking a Ph.D. Botany program– though if I hadn't known that, I would've guessed you were a music major." Albedo vaguely pointed at your face without looking. "Your tongue would've fooled me."

You flinched. Is he teasing you or scolding you– you can't make sense of his tone. He's too monotonous.

"Professor, are you uncomfortable right now? If so, I could leave if you wish and we can talk via email instead about your complaint."

Professor Albedo eyed you carefully this time, even though he's squirmish. The tone you used to address him and your overall body language differ greatly from how you behave in the company of your friend group. Your professionalism does not match how the rumors perceive you. This is probably the reason why young professor Kusanali didn't believe any rumors about you. He was impressed.

"Am I supposed to be happy that you’re not giving me a moment of your time?” He said. "It's a bit difficult to achieve that state when you have yet to slip out of my mind. You did assault me yesterday–"

"Yes, yes, I'm well aware of that, Professor." You cringed. "But–"

"Albedo."

"Sorry?"

"You kissed me, (Y/n). I think you can call me Albedo."

"Right." You chuckled nervously. "Like I was saying, P-Professor, it's all a major misunderstanding. I wasn't aiming to assault you."

Albedo raised an eyebrow. He did not miss the way you suavely dodged calling him by name. Other than that, assault is a strong word, and he did not expect you to use it as well. 

You thought it was a fitting word to use. Albedo barely makes eye contact, and he probably doesn't like being reminded that you stole a kiss from him.

"It's Albedo. So, you were planning to sexually assault another student?"

He is relentlessly quick on the uptake. Albedo sounded like a cop. What he said was correct, absurdly phrased, but correct nonetheless.

"I mean..." You rubbed your hands against your pants. They were a bit sweaty, and you had to accept the fact you were not faking it. You are genuinely anxious. "When you put it like that, it does sound inexcusable doesn't it?"

"It is a positively hair-raising notion, yes." Albedo deadpanned. "And if I had to take an educated guess, you were planning to assault my younger brother Dorian and you mistook me for him instead."

"..."

Figuring that out was a no-brainer. Although Professor Albedo is older than his brother, their appearance and physique make them appear twin-like. Dorian once droned about how it happened due to Albedo's poor upbringing under their aunt Alice's guidance, making his growth stunted. And his tendency to talk your ear out is one of many reasons why your intrusive thoughts often suggest that Dorian had no personality outside being the renowned professor Albedo's younger brother. Hence, you don't absorb a word of what he says. You didn't listen to gossip often cause you figured that you were not one for trivial gossip like the rest of the student botanists. 

... And based on the dilemma you find yourself in now, it appears as though you don't have common sense like the rest of your peers either–

"Please stop woolgathering. Is there a more interesting specimen to take note of on the floor? You seem to be more intrigued by what's on your shoes."

You cringed for what you felt like the 1000th milestone at that point.

"Professor, I know that I sound terrible–"

Albedo sighed. "I would never insinuate that, Mx. (L/n)." 

"But you keep cutting me off." You said in a questioning tone. It sounded a lot more polite in your head, yet the famous Kreideprinz was flustered by your reply.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. Carry on. You are aware that you sound like a sex offender, and?"

That came out incredibly cold. It felt like being under the cold blade of a frigid prince, and his icy stare and light complexion just adds the cherry on top. The professor said that he wasn't insulting you but his paraphrasing is exactly that. You didn't comment on it, figuring your education is more important than a harsh remark, and continued.

"... The truth is," you took a deep breath. "I only kissed you cause, well, I mistook you for Dorian, and also because I was trying to get Sucrose–."

"Sucrose?" Professor Albedo's eyebrows furrowed. "Sucrose, one of my–"

"Your student assistants? Y-Yes, sir." You nodded hesitantly. "We're best friends– not that it's unsurprising since I am a bad influence and she's a good person. I recently went through a breakup and she's worried about me. Dorian agreed to fake date and make Sucrose believe that she accidentally found us making out in a room to make it more believable but–"

"You mistook me for my brother."

"... Yeeaaahhh...."

"..."

This reminded you of your conversation with Dorian a while back. You asked if he and his brother would switch lives for a day, and he cackled and told you it happens more than the number you were thinking of. The moment you realized who you were kissing, you clung to the sliver of hope that it was Dorian wearing his brother's lab coat. It was not.

You looked down at your shoes again. It's too embarrassing and shameful that your entire lineage will probably be cursed. 

"..."

Knowing that you won't talk until he does, Professor Albedo read through his notes for a topic.

"Understandable. I presume you know my brother because you're both on the same course and are on similar schedules?"

"Yes, sir." Should you tell him the whole fake-date thing was Dorian's idea as well?

"It's Albedo to you. And to add to that, Sucrose is under the impression that we're dating."

"I think so, sir."

"That's not a question, (Y/n), that's a fact." He said. "She recently confronted me to ask if we're dating."

You gulped. Moment of truth.

"What did you tell her, sir?"

"What do you want me to tell her?"

You could hear your pulse pounding in your ears. 

On one hand, you want her to know what happened, but at the same time that would just blow you and Dorian's cover story.

But was that a smug tone you heard? Is he toying with you?

You bit your bottom lip. 

"... Yes, I think? What did you say, professor?"

"Albedo."

You tilted your head. "What?"

"Respectfully, please call me by my name and I'll tell you the answer." He smirked curtly, but it was gone before you could process it.

"S-Sir!"

Albedo shrugged. "Guess you'll have to ask her directly–"

"Sir Albedo–"

"Hmm, I don't recall having 'Sir' in my birth certificate–"

"Albedo! Albedo!" Geez.

He gave a small smile, longer this time. But he was still avoiding eye contact. You puffed your cheeks, embarrassed.

Prof. Albedo has a slightly twisted sense of humor.

None of this was professional, at all.

You felt your face growing warmer. You can't believe this is the same Albedo everyone is crushing on. 

You bit back a sharp retort. He sounded a lot more serious in campus gossip, and not the type to pull on your heartstrings like this. Your faith in that image is wearing thin.

The professor laughed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting such an enthusiastic reply. You don't have to be nervous around me, (Y/n). I figured that if we were going to do this, you could use my first name.

"I refrained from answering. But, if you wish, I can confirm her suspicions. However, I must inform you in advance that I find relationships rather... Tiresome." Albedo robotically sighed. "I struggle to maintain them, so you will have to guide me."

Never in your life have you ever considered the possibility that a professor in your grad school would ask you to fake a romantic relationship with him. 

You digressed, not wanting to make a decision just yet. "But isn't your job in danger?"

Albedo then spoke in a genuine trill of amusement. 

"Not at all. Besides, I don't care enough to file a complaint about this incident. Also, you're not my student. Suffice it to say, I've thoroughly checked the handbook and consulted the headmaster herself. Rhinedottir sees no problem with this arrangement–"

Probably because she's your mother.

"–Granted, it will not be in full effect unless you give this a go signal. Will you?"

You looked away.

"This situation... Kinda reads like some cheap Harlequin novel, doesn't it?" You muttered.

It's a great offer. But it sounds too good to be true...

... Did he say that he wasn't going to file a complaint in the first place?

The professor watched as your impassive stare morphed into something uneven and sly but unavoidably empty. You clicked your tongue as your hands slip back to your pockets. Albedo could tell you're holding back an ugly laugh.

A switch had been flipped.

Professor Albedo immediately noticed the change in your demeanor and crossed his arms. He's anticipated this much. There's no way he didn't know about your "self-destructive patterns."

How interesting. For both you AND him.

"So, Albedo." You lazily pointed at him. "Something's fishy about this, don't you think?"

"You're too eager to help. I'd get it if you have something to gain from this, like scaring off your fangirls or something, but you fend them off just fine anyways." You grinned.

"I'm flattered that you think I send them away effortlessly." He answered point-blank.

Albedo turned to you, his face dim and heavily affected by his calm resignation.

"It's incredibly taxing work. I've told you before, haven't I? I may seem calm on the surface but people can be... A considerable handful."

His smile belied the severity of his inner turmoil.

But you can't help but doubt him. You don't buy his pitifulness.

You reassessed the situation in an instant. The Albedo you're talking to acts far from the untouchable Chalk Prince from the get-go. His words did not boast his usual research-riddled speech. This act is more than just premeditated.

Sure. You're the sort who is bound by what you "owe," but you can't say you can't empathize with his problems because he didn't seem-- he ISN'T troubled in the first place. And you're almost sure of it.

You believe you're not smart enough to remain in this university. But at least you have faith that you're perceptive and street-wise. 

Still, you kept your hollow cheeky grin plastered to your face.

"Then why aren't you taking a less problematic approach? You could say you're dating Professor Alberich– you'd get some people off your back."

Translation: Can't you just bother someone else?

"By attracting other unpleasant folks pestering me about Kaeya instead, yes, seems like a sound suggestion. I'll keep it in mind for future reference."

Translator's note: He's being sarcastic. Stop trying to worm your way out of this one.

Albedo continued. "But right now that's not viable. If you feel guilty for stealing a kiss from me this may be a good opportunity to ease your conscience."

...

"That's it? But you won't report me if I didn't agree to these terms, right?"

"Of course. I have your best interests in mind and simply warned you." He gave you a faint smile, hoping to ease your nerves. "You're part of Rukkha's batch of dean's listers. I don't have the heart to file a complaint."

Rukkha was a great woman, but you don't deserve your scholarships and sponsors. You don't have any talent or skill to truly impress people, and it seems you fooled both Professor Rukkhadevata and Albedo into thinking you're something special as well.

"Professor...."

But with what he basically said just now is that there are no consequences for your actions.

"It's Albedo, and yes?"

"You seem to have reserved some very unrealistic expectations for me. You should be more distrusting."

"... What do you mean?"

"I don't see any reason to accept your offer." You honestly had no idea where this confidence is coming from. Perhaps your class clown persona had slowly rubbed off on the "real" you, and for once you didn't hate yourself for it.

Because you don't want to be in this relationship. It's legal, yes, and you're old enough, but you're incredibly wary. Albedo may be leagues better than Itto but that's beside the point: you're emotionally spent and you're not ready to get to know another person.

"Oh, understood. For starters, agreeing to these terms will make Sucrose less abrasive with her attempts to set you up, and I could help you with connections."

"That sounds as though I'll be abusing your influence..."

You paused. 

Did you tell the professor about Sucrose's disturbing attempts to hook you up with people earlier...?

You don't recall ever sharing that bit of information. You made sure to pick your words carefully so Sucrose wouldn't be seen in a bad light. Since when did he...

"What? No, it's not. It's simply a small trade for your cooperation."

"No."

"And– sorry?"

You can see the appeal. You truly do. When you are chosen by someone of greater influence and intellect, it seems almost magical. He could undoubtedly help your botany profession thrive. Most people would conclude that if Professor Albedo chose them from the crowd, they must be extremely unique in comparison to their peers. 

However, this is somewhat unethical. This is the kind of scenario you'd find in a shoddy coming-of-age novel that desperately tries to convince you that there are no other elements to consider but love. However, you must also consider your mental health, reputation, education, and other factors that influence every fiber of your being.

Albedo isn't the type of person who would jeopardize your future over a minor disagreement, but you never know with people. People change as much as seasons do. You are a living example of this. Itto would not have used that argument against you if it were untrue.

You have nothing against those who engage in lawful student-teacher relationships, but you're self-aware enough to recognize that you're not mentally fit to enter one. And sometimes the conclusion is as straightforward as that. Besides, you're sick of having others (including yourself) continually doubting your intelligence. Fake-dating a professor will only exacerbate the situation. Rumors will spread that you only earned your grades because of him and not out of your efforts. Dorian already had it rough, and you've learned what it's like through him. Simple self-preservation.

"Thanks for the offer, really, but no. If I'll date someone, even if it's fake, I want to set it under my terms as well." 

You scratched your neck, eyes lifeless.

"I'm sorry, Professor. But I genuinely can't see why this agreement will help both of us, I especially can't see why this will benefit you compared to your other options. I could just come out and say I mistook you for Dorian and it's an easy fix to my problems and in turn, you wouldn't have to deal with the stigma of dating a student. I'm sorry, Prof. I'll take a rain check on it." 

You shrugged uncomfortably. "Besides, this is still a student-teacher relationship. I'm uncomfortable being in an uneven power dynamic like that. I'd rather date Dorian instead."

...

Shit. 

Okay, maybe accidentally implying that you're open to dating his kid brother had to be the second most uncomfortable thing you subjected Albedo to.

You didn't mean to come off as THAT honest.

A test tube must've cracked somewhere around the area cause you could've sworn you heard something shatter. You flinched, but he didn't.

"... Is that so." The professor muttered. You almost didn't hear him from how silent his defeat was.

You sighed in relief so intense that you physically felt your shoulder muscles relax and your eyes roll back. Seems like he gave up.

"I promise that I'll pay you back in other ways, professor. I owe you and I'm sorry. But I must refuse for both our sakes." You said. "I have taken something important from you, and I will respectfully understand if you file a complaint for what I've done. No one should have a kiss stolen like that."

He didn't reply. Albedo stood there, eyes unblinking as he mulled over your words. At the beginning of this conversation, he barely looked you directly in the eye, but now he refused to look away. 

You waited for him to say something else and stood there for a solid minute. Nothing came. 

"Please, excuse me."

You wanted to say that you left to give him more time to consider but the truth is that you couldn't bare standing there for a second more so you left in a frantic hurry. 

It was only when you left did you realize what made you wary of him the entire conversation.

Professor Albedo wasn't breathing the entire time.

-------

Upon unlocking his door, Albedo was greeted by a boy with a face akin to his. He was waiting for him, and in turn, Albedo anticipated that he would be here, too. The boy sat idly and almost casually inside a room littered with wall to wall of red-stringed photographs and texts, and there was not a single hint of disgust or any other natural reaction on his face. Albedo's nose scrunched.

Dorian did not budge from his brother– master's office chair. He stared back with a blank expression. Most papers were by his feet, crumpled, but not discarded. How could they be, when all pictures centered around one very precious subject:

You.

You, in all forms, poses, and angles make you ineffably you. These are the candid shots that bring out the little moments that Albedo longed to study under a microscope. They didn't need to be dynamic, rather, Albedo adored the simplest pictures the most. Needless to say, images of you resting is the most popular. It's a lot more convenient and easy to take, but that doesn't cheapen the value and elation the professor feels upon holding the finished polaroid up close.

Every time he swapped schedules with Dorian, he couldn't help but be curious about you.

It doesn't stop there. Albedo clicked his tongue as he noticed the journal Dorian held. It was his dog-eared notes he cleanly put together when jotting down your schedule, private life, and other more delicate intricacies. The clipboard he had earlier is nothing more than a silly prop compared to his actual notes. There's something so breathtaking about making the "unknown" into the "known", and the same applies to every bit of your life that he was curious about. Albedo's aware that it's not something he should brag about. Retrieving paraphernalia such as worn-out gardening gloves and locks of hair from your shower drain was not something he acquired robotically. However, he didn't fancy the idea that Dorian read it and found it just as entertaining as he did. He didn't like the idea of sharing.

Maybe you were right.

Maybe he did reserve some very unrealistic and idolized expectations for you. But that was only because he can see your potential. He firmly believes that. It's an awful and objectifying train of thought, but the professor is convinced he'll be the one who can "fix" your people-pleasing issue.

He figured, if he wants to make sure you'd always be with him, he had to conduct some trial-and-error.

Albedo breathed harshly. He forgot how to do so. He never needed to breath.

"Did it work?" Dorian asked. "Did your plan work?"

His eyes went dim.

Albedo didn't answer.

He locked the door again. This time, he allowed Dorian to keep the lights on. If anything, it's a small reward for indirectly helping him. But not even his fellow creation can have what the genius professor of the century desires to attain. He has to face the truth.

Albedo pulled out a recording device from his pocket. You said no. There's nothing he could do about that. 

"No."

"No. No. No. No. No--"

He played your refusal over and over again.

He thought he did everything right. He genuinely believed he followed the right procedure in getting you to say yes. What went wrong, then? Albedo doesn't get it. He was sure that he didn't say anything wrong or suspicious as well. You shouldn't have known that he had been following you from that conversation alone. 

"No."

He practiced everything for hours.

"No."

Word for word.

"No."

He researched tips and tricks on how to let other people's guard down.

"No."

He thought not pressuring you to do it will make you more willing.

"No."

He even asked Alberich how to subtly flirt with someone.

"No."

So. What went wrong?

"No--"

Albedo slowly blinked before realizing he had thrown the device against the wall in full force. The batteries and their other internal components spilled on the floor. He didn't have the willpower to clean it up. 

It's an undeniable error. He still can't believe his approach failed.

Master was right.

"Dearest Albedo, if you can't have them in their most authentic self, then what's stopping you from making an indistinguishable copy?"

[jinxed-sinner]

Alastor Does Care About Charlie, Hazbin Hotel, and Its Residents, But Hates That He Does: Brought to You by My Interest In Subtle Characterization

One thing I don't think a lot of people bring up when it comes to discussion about Alastor is there are multiple times where it's implied he does care about Charlie, the hotel, and its residents, and he just hates that he does once he realizes it. Specifically, I don't see a lot of people mention Alastor's background appearances in More Than Anything towards the end of Dad Beat Dad (and his expressions during More Than Anything further support the idea that he was just fucking with Lucifer during Hell's Greatest Dad). Here's the first time he appears in More Than Anything:

Here's the second time:

(sorry for low-ish quality screenshots)

I genuinely think Alastor doesn't hate Lucifer, he just thinks it's funny to fuck with him, and part of the reason is because his expressions when he appears in the backgrounds of More Than Anything come off as somewhat affectionate to me.

Here's the thing. It's made pretty clear at the start of the season and in the pilot that Alastor doesn't believe in Charlie's cause and is only helping her for his own entertainment. However, in Dad Beat Dad, he tells Mimzy to leave unless she actually wants to give redemption a shot, something Mimzy shrugs off as a joke until Alastor says he's serious. In The Show Must Go On, he makes the same expression while watching Charlie, Husk, Angel Dust, Sir Pentious, Cherri, and Vaggie have a night of celebration before fighting the Exorcists that he does while watching Lucifer and Charlie in More Than Anything. He even refers to watching the redemption process as "a surprising thrill" which tells me he's no longer in the spot he was at the beginning where he was actively against Charlie's cause and just being a troll. He also admits to the possibility of getting accustomed to their company. He risks his life for the hotel, something I am willing to bet he would not have done even in episode 4 or maybe even episode 5.

I seriously think Alastor got genuinely attached to the hotel, Charlie, and the hotel's residents. He doesn't really start panicking or breaking down until he fully verbally acknowledges that if he'd died, he'd be recognized as someone who died for his friends. Until that point he's more angry than panicked (complete sidetrack but I'm wondering if the deal he was referring to was the deal he made with Charlie, since he referred to a deal and not a contract; he also refers to "pulling all the strings" which feels like it's referring to the hotel, about which he's made a deal with Charlie and Charlie has ordered him to help with, albeit only for as long as he desires to help). All of the screenshots I've seen of Alastor's mental breakdown / panic attack are after the "Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends" line. That's not how he wants to be recognized so he panics.

Like it comes off more like he feels a genuine connection to the people at the hotel but hates himself for it. His intention was never to get attached but he ended up attached, and he hates himself for it.

Alastor is a genuinely fascinating character. As is his intention, the fact that he's always smiling keeps you guessing because it limits how expressive he is (that's not to say he isn't expressive, because he absolutely is). Will he eventually be an antagonist? Will he stay a protagonist? We have no idea and I think that's a huge part of why he's so appealing as a character. We don't really know much about him, but I genuinely feel like he cares about the hotel, its residents, and Charlie and once he realized it he absolutely hated it and it fueled his mental breakdown, and I'm excited to see where that goes.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Last week I wrote a post about the first episode of Taskmaster season 16. In it, I kept talking about something I’ve wondered for quite a while about Lucy Beaumont, which is how much of her schtick is a character. After posting that, I became a bit worried that might post might fall into a somewhat common, shitty trope where people are less likely to ascribe agency to a female comedian who seems strange than to a male one.

I first heard of this idea when I heard Rose Matafeo talk about it some time ago, because she has an emotional breakdown on stage at the end of her award-winning stand-up show Horndog, and she said that afterward, a lot of people asked if she was okay because they thought she had genuinely lost it, rather than written a show that ended with a breakdown. And not that that problem never happens to male comedians, but I think it happens less often, as people are more likely to trust that a male comedian is doing this on purpose, but might think a female comedian just doesn’t have control over her own act.

So I wondered, a bit, if I was falling into that by wondering whether or not Lucy Beaumont genuinely believes the ghost of a dog gets into bed with her at night and she doesn’t understand how road speed rules work differently from a television show. Especially because there is a male comedian making really daft comments for comedic effect right next to her, and I can use that as a contrast. When Sam Campbell tells a weird story about people who rescued divers, I know he’s aware that that’s a ludicrous idea to bring in, and is saying it because it’s funny. So why would I wonder whether Lucy Beaumont is saying her ridiculous things because “she’s just like that”.

To be clear, I don’t think she might be literally “just like that”. I mean, I know she knows she’s on TV and meant to be doing comedy. I know that when she says things, she says them because she thinks they’ll be funny. I guess my main question with her is whether we’re supposed to think she’s 100% in character, like the way someone like Nick Helm plays a character, or if she is just “playing herself” and “herself” happens to be someone who likes daft comedy. I think that’s what I was wondering. I know she has to be quite an intelligent person, because you can’t put a career together as successfully as Lucy Beaumont has if you’re not. You can’t be that funny if you don’t know what you’re doing. People being genuinely really daft is not as funny as smart people playing up daftness for comedy. I do know that.

And then I thought, maybe Sam Campbell isn’t the comparison I should be using. I have asked almost this exact same question before about Paul Chowdhry, and maybe that’s closer. I know that when Paul Chowdhry says something funny, he’s saying it because he’s aware that it will be funny. But also, it’s really hard for me to tell how much is a character and how much is him. I feel the same way about Lucy Beaumont, and I’m glad I’ve found an example of a male comedian I feel the same way about, suggesting that it’s not just something I ask about female comedians because I don’t want to give them credit for control over their own persona. I know she’s controlling it through intelligence and comedic skill. I just don’t know exactly how.

Last year, I listened to Paul Chowdhry’s episode of the Comedian’s Comedian podcast, in the hopes that it would answer some of those questions about him. I got very few answers, but it was a fascinating interview, and a bit amusing to hear Stuart Goldsmith so on the back foot, audibly very aware of the challenge in front of him, to try to get a sincere, out-of-character conversation out of the notoriously opaque Paul Chowdhry. Today, I listened to Lucy Beaumont’s (quite recent) episode of that podcast for the same reason, hoping for some insight into how her persona works.

I’ve just heard the following exchange, as they discuss how she writes her characters:

Lucy Beaumont: There’s no secret formula [for writing], it’s just really really hard, and you will get there. But with Paula [major character in Hullraisers, the TV sitcom that Lucy Beaumont’s written] – Paula definitely was a dead person coming through to me. I couldn’t shut her voice off, and her voice was so clear that it made me think it just was someone who was dead, and I was picking up on their energy. To Hull and Back [Lucy Beaumont’s Radio 4 sitcom] was written for me – a mother and a daughter came through, and I was keeping up with them. That was totally dead spirts who wrote that. If I’d have known their name I’d have credited them. Stuart Goldsmith: [laughs, sounding genuinely impressed with this figurative explanatory device] That’s incredible, that’s an incredible way of looking at it. To what extent are you using – just so I’m clear – to what extent are you using “dead people”, in inverted commas, as a metaphor for the creativity coming out of somewhere you don’t know where it’s from, and to what extent do you mean literally dead people? Lucy Beaumont: No, I literally, totally, one hundred percent believe that most writers, when you get characters that are fully formed – what they call “write themselves” – you have picked up on spirits. [pause that lasts half a second too long where despite the silence, you can hear him recalibrate his reaction to this now that he knows it’s meant literally] Stuart Goldsmith: That’s amazing, I’ve never heard anyone put it like that before. Lucy Beaumont: I’ve had a lot of conversations with a lot of writers and that, I’ve convinced them that that’s right.

The conversation goes on for a little while like this. To his credit, I think, Stuart Goldsmith strikes a good balance. He asks further questions to get her to expand on that point, and at some point, her insistence on how very literal she's being causes him to ask, "Lucy, are you pulling my leg?" To which the answer is no, and then you can hear him recalibrate again, giving up on his efforts to get her to see the potential in saying this is a good metaphorical device. To his credit I think he handles the ensuing conversation well - gently challenges the idea that writers can't just make shit up and it needs to come from spirits, but without being a dick about it and telling her that what she believes is wrong. And he does manage to dig into that far enough to find the scraps of her common ground with the people who, you know, don't believe in that shit, and pointing out the ways that her perspective could translate to really useful practical writing advice. He did pretty well, I thought.

But the point is that I no longer feel guilty for wondering whether Lucy Beaumont is entirely putting it on. I mean, she's putting some of it on, for comedic effect, intentionally intelligently as all comedians do. But also, when she says she believes a dog ghost climbs into bed with her at night, she's probably saying that not because she's in character, but because she believes a dog ghost climbs into bed with her at night.

[decepti-thots]

Ask meme: Rodimus (idw)

one aspect about them i love: Rodimus has this really fascinating combo of being extremely unselfaware in the moment and then excruciatingly self aware after the fact that you can dig into a lot if you feel like it. That really horrible sense of 'I know I keep fucking it up but I can't actually manage to STOP it' which I think explains a lot about him. There's an idea of like, just knowing about the problem isn't enough to fix it. The trap of self awareness is that you can get stuck in a position where you see the problem and how it IS a problem, but you mistake that for actually making progress on it, which I think is where Rodimus is at when we start MTMTE, and it's… a very frustrating place to be in. And because he's surrounded by people firmly in the 'that's just how he is and we Manage him' mindset, he has very little obvious motivation to try and approach it from any other mindset. Yes all this is a GOOD thing, I love him.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: Rodimus is not just accidentally callous, though he can be. He is absolutely inclined to genuine pettiness and even cruelty. Any version of Rodimus which assumes he is only ever accidentally cruel is, to me, an incomplete one. He's a very compassionate person deep down, but that's just why that inclination towards pettiness bothers him. I think it's really important that this be something he has to work against- because when he does work against it, that means something.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: Rodimus partly has so much antagonism towards Whirl because Whirl is terribly good at seeing through Rodimus' bullshit and when he wants he can cut Rodimus down with absolute precision. We actually see Whirl be quite astute about Rodimus a couple of times in canon and it just seems like he'd be very willing to deploy a frustratingly on-point observation of Rodimus' worst issues when it pleased him. Usually even when people do call Rodimus out, they don't do it correctly, they see an issue but not the correct origin point under all his posturing- but Whirl does, and Rodimus deeply resents him for it. For this exact reason, they would be shockingly good friends under other circumstances, in their own way.

one character i love seeing them interact with: Magnus! I fucking love their s1 interactions. I love that there's a sense of them having known each other before and how even though they're so antagonistic, they still demonstrate a sort of frustrated familiarity with each other. Rodimus always feels like he's the only one on board with the context to know Mags is acting out of character during the early issues, and Magnus is one of the only people in the comic to ever seem like he expects more of Rodimus sometimes. Their interaction at the start of 'The Sound of Breaking Glass' is one of my favourite in the whole series, when they discuss Rodimus wanting to change, and how Magnus thinks maybe it's a good thing Tyrest's portal broke. Or the bit after Overlord, where Rodimus talks about why he was ignoring Magnus' memos, and we see Magnus had tried to get Rodimus' help with his breakdown. They're almost... resigned to being a little more honest with each other? I love them.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: Rung. I love the bit we get in the aforementioned post-Overlord scene, where Rung reads Rodimus bang to rights and at first Rodimus gets angry, but later is like. Yeah, you were right actually. I appreciate the honesty. Come help me out on Luna-1? Like, it's such a telling scene. Rung understands Rodimus in some ways and completely doesn't in others, because he knows what Rodimus' real problems are but he doesn't understand Rodimus needs something other than gentle sympathy. And then I think Rodimus has the potential to be... surprisingly insightful about Rung's own issues, his loneliness. I can imagine him seeing through Rung's impartial front quite shrewdly. It would be an interesting dynamic.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: Rodimus is the only other person on the ship except Tailgate who is interested in Cyclonus' old Cybertronian songs and such. Because, well, he's interested in the "golden age", he wants to hear about a time before Cybertron was as he remembers it, i.e. on its way to being fucked. And Cyclonus remembers that time in a way that makes it sound better, the actual truth aside. He's very embarrassed about this fact and tries to cover it up under a layer of irony or whatever but he sometimes sidles up to Cyclonus at the bar after a couple drinks and. Prompts him. To talk about stuff. And just sort of tries to look bored even as he's listening. Cyclonus will ramble on without the need for much encouragement after he's had a few, it turns out.

[dirtbra1n]

AA4 SPOILERS/////

that quote you called krisnix is soooo fascinating to me bc, they really had dinner together most days, like that’s a level of commitment we didn’t even see from most of the ppl who phoenix considered important and that whole time on kristoph’s end it was to keep an eye on Phoenix and on phoenix’s end it curiosity bc kristoph voted against him losing his badge and also it was to find out the reason why he lost his badge and kristoph was just this name that kept popping up, and for Phoenix and kristoph it was so many red flags bc kristoph knew phoenix wasn’t the type to let something rest and Phoenix knew there was more to kristoph then at first glance but somewhere along the way it become genuine, but at the same time kristoph still kills shadi after a single convo with phoenix and phoenix still pressed record before even asking kristoph to be his lawyer, it’s Phoenix recording every single one of those convos with kristoph but still (probably) having him meet truck, but it’s kristoph keeping himself at arms length from Phoenix but Phoenix taking it bc he’s never been the type to give up on a person, whether it’s to their doom or his and for better or worse he wouldn’t want anyone else to really see him the way he currently is besides kristoph, now what the hell could that possibly mean?

(that quote I called krisnix)

anon you will never know the extent of the joy I felt seeing this initially and the extent of it I still feel now. but I’d like you to. Thank You For Biting. and for waiting a little over a month Sorry about that. I'm gonna ask you to forgive me if this doesn't make any sense or hold up to scrutiny. the demons have got hold of me and I'm making do

because I get to talk more about krisnix. Ha ha. pulled out all my silly little suppositions to review again I think I was waiting for an opportunity like this. like my hubris is getting me. I recklessly called that quote krisnix and now a little over a month later I'm completely sick about it.

I'm going to reiterate that I'm very sorry if this reads like shit, and I'll apologize just this once that this post got as long as it did. go fish

you ever think about how kristoph's a dog guy. guy who has a dog, guy who brought a photo of his dog into solitary confinement with him. also a caged blue bird which alive or not happened to contribute significantly to the krisnix breakdown of dec. 2023 There are really some very bright minds in krisnix pit. me and you included anon. that's a tangent. I'm sick. I'm drafting this in a terribly disorganized fashion. I'm reading transcripts. I'm getting dizzy.

this fucking room haunts me

vongole, though

a man's best friend, who's known to bite if handled roughly. her name means clams.

I've been doing some web surfing. I can't move in one straight line to save my life so I've been doing some web surfing. kristoph doesn't say what kind of retriever vongole is, which is fine. retrievers are dogs bred to retrieve game, tasked not to break skin, to be gentle, to keep soft mouths. vongole is a retriever who bites (literal) when bitten (metaphorical); a clam that clasps shut.

kristoph's a dog guy and sometimes he's the metaphorical dog. not One straight line to save my life. it's funny that seven years have passed without phoenix meeting vongole. held at arms length but indisputably held. a man's closest friend. besides his dog.

a lot of the time phoenix is the metaphorical dog. putting all tangents aside A lot of the time. phoenix is that metaphorical dog. what is seven years of companionship, eating dinner after dinner together, and being seen at your worst... worth? indulge me: this guy, you pieced together pretty quick, was behind the forged evidence that lost you your badge. this guy, as you saw happen in real time, was the one person on that committee to vote against that "strictest punishment".

this guy, as an indisputable fact, is a big fucking weirdo. you'll need to snare him eventually, for the forged evidence, but--you're kind of in the habit of liking weirdos. is the thing. he sunk your career, he lost you your badge. he's kind of an asshole, also.

he has bought you and trucy dinner more times than you could ever hope to count. there's a curve in your sofa from all the times he's sat in the same spot, wrinkling his nose at greasy takeout boxes and your grape juice breath. he talks to trucy in a voice slightly less haughty--warm, if a gun was held to your head about it--than the one he plays up with you, and she completely eats it up; thinks he's real fun to tease. his eyebrows wrinkle, an almost nothing frown, when she puts on a show with a trick that he can't immediately come to some conclusion about. he'll put on obnoxious rubber gloves to wash your dishes, to protect his manicured nails, as he goes down a dozen rabbit holes trying to reason out what he's missing. you've seen him doing casework. he's seen you delirious and half out of your mind. his mouth, in your experience, is soft.

you're kind of in the habit of liking assholes, too.

neither of these guys can be vulnerable for shit. over the course of seven years, they've seen each other as close to vulnerable as they can get, which isn't very, because this span of time especially--phoenix stubbornly keeping a little girl's head above the water, kristoph, for reasons we will never, ever understand, constantly looking over his shoulder--really doesn't see either of them in a place to get through any skin-flaying conversations about what they want with or from one another.

kristoph really does want control, though. he wants to be in control of things, have a handle on things. and he probably figured out something like immediately that phoenix wright really isn't the sort of guy you go to for that kind of thing. and yet! sunk cost fallacy's a bitch, kristoph! what good does a beautiful bluebird do you if you don't keep it with you on display heavy-handed. I know. don't I know it.

gonna rein myself in a little. because I'm off the deep end and you're posing really interesting ideas. kristoph couldn't rest for seven years because "shadi smith" was unaccounted for, out there somewhere. kristoph couldn't rest for seven years because he was scared for his life. "shadi smith" played a game of poker against the best and got whacked. and then murdered! tough luck!

really it's my curse. that so much of krisnix is personalized person to person, because of real aa5 shaped smoke and mirrors. because it gives me the space, the soapbox, the platform, microphone, and spotlight, to ask, In that trial, of the murder of Shadi Smith, where Kristoph Gavin was supposed to defend Phoenix Wright, what verdict was he looking to see through?

because I'm sick, you see. kristoph had just, finally, gotten rid of the man he spent so long being scared of, just clawed his way to the path out of the woods, and all he had to do was--

Have you ever stood at a crossroad. the decision laid out in front of you's not actually that tough, if you can believe it. even space for you to completely rationalize any attachments away: you get phoenix wright off (haha), you keep your reputation as the best defense in the west (opinions on the name notwithstanding), and you could, as a possibility to consider on occasion, maybe even learn how to have a slightly more-vulnerable-than-usual conversation.

or you could lose.

pretty simple choice to make, right?

and then phoenix goes and fucks it up, of course. dogs get restless with nothing to do. they want to be of use to you, kristoph, did you ever think to fucking ask phoenix for help? you come when called, you let yourself be persuaded, generously, to help keep food on the table. to keep a warm body company, one way or the other. to be some fucked up psychosexual approximation of a friend. but phoenix comes running when called, too, and you haven't once given him the chance.

big fucking stink you're in, kristoph! You didn't just brain a guy with a juice bottle for no reason. Tell me why you did it.

the big question you won't answer. five black psyche locks pulsing with a despair you don't have the tools to register. you said it already: I killed a man named "Smith" with a bottle because I am an evil human being.

what does phoenix hope to get out of this. motive for a murder, then what?

you really get me anon. phoenix never the kind of guy to give up on somebody he loves, up against someone who's finished with even arms length, stubborn as all get-out, and, even to himself, completely unsalvageable. irredeemable. an evil human being who killed a man named "smith" with a bottle.

it's not that phoenix would help kristoph hide a body. he pretty evidently did not do that. and it's not that phoenix would just forgive kristoph for trying to poison a twelve year old girl either. but there were seven full years between the disappearance of zak gramarye and the murder of "shadi smith", and vera misham hadn't been poisoned yet, and phoenix wright is an awfully loyal, terribly stubborn man himself.

I don't really know what the hell the lot of this means to tell you the truth. but I think now as much as ever that phoenix should chase kristoph's chance at life to the death, and I think that regardless of the stopping point on the line of time kristoph's last words to phoenix should be ...Later, then.

[capitalisticveins]

D.A.M.N Crew Headcanons Part 3 (Ft. Kody, Xavier, and Avior)

Not as many Kody and Xavier headcanons as I wish there would be, but they’re still there. Enjoy!

- Caelum had his front tooth kicked out by one of his older brothers on accident.

- Freelancer will never let anyone else crack the eggs if they’re baking something. It always has to be them, not even Caelum can do it if they’re around.

- Damien has busted his ass while skating once and never touched a skateboard again.

- Lasko can use a hoverboard but lives every second in anxiety and fear when the low battery sound plays.

- Huxley’s instagram is just full of pictures of his moms and rocks with googly eyes.

- Lasko and Huxley say “Golly” unironically.

- Caelum enjoys chocolate ice cream.

- Freelancer prefers French Vanilla.

- Xavier has sung “Nations of the World” from the Animaniacs perfectly after only watching it once.

- Gavin can do the “disappearing thumb” trick.

- He’s done it in front of Caelum but Caelum started to cry after he saw it.

- Damien can write and speak in cursive.

- Damien can understand Russian script.

- Huxley has always wanted to give Damien a piggyback ride, and only got to do it after they got together. It was the best thing ever. For Huxley, anyway.

- Lasko likes to watch Ni-Hao Kai Lan.

- Whenever someone tells Freelancer to pose, they always do a peace sign.

- Gavin bullies people on Discord.

- When Freelancer and Gavin first met, Freelancer genuinely didn’t know he was getting sucked off until he mentioned it.

- Caelum likes growing his hair out, so whenever Delphinus says it’s time to cut it, he flies to the highest altitude he can muster and just…stays there…until Delphinus gives up. He’s done this for a year and a half now.

- Kody’s eyes are usually glossy, like he’s about to cry. It’s ironic because he hasn’t cried since the 5th grade.

- Huxley has cut his hair into bangs before, never again.

- When Lasko sneezes, it evolves into a series of annoying tiny sneezes that leaves his nose red.

- Damien would rather die than use Airpods.

- Xavier has always wanted a BIG dog, but never got the chance to get one.

- Caelum has his own section in Freelancer’s dorm where he can play and sleep.

- Gavin heard what happened to Avior when he tried to rift back to Aria and said “And people ask me why I don’t rift back home anymore”.

- Gavin has called Avior a “dickrider” before.

- Freelancer is FASCINATED by Vampires.

- Lasko owns a robe that reaches past his feet.

- Huxley belly flops onto pools for fun.

- Damien hates tanning.

- When Caelum heard about the Nintendo EShop shutting down, he begged and cried for Freelancer to hack his 3DS since Gavin and Delphinus had no idea how to. Freelancer had to look up how to do it, and spent the night doing it, but it was easier than they thought.

- Kody randomly walks around his house in jeans and flip flops while being shirtless.

- Gavin believed in the “Talking Angela is stalking you” theory.

- Lasko refuses to download Twitter.

- Freelancer developed their powers in the 6th grade when someone was picking on them, and hid them from their family for 4 years in fear of what they could do with them. Their parent(s) found out after they froze their room while having a breakdown via stress.

- Huxley played spin the bottle at a party with his friends a few years ago, and when the bottle landed on Xavier, they immediately began kissing with no question, hesitation, or awkwardness.

- Caelum hates Baby Shark.

- Lasko has a sleep mask, a bed that regulates temperature, 7 pillows, and a surround sound system that plays rain sounds at night.

- When Damien first came into his room, he was appalled at how comfortable it looked.

- Caelum makes hot cocoa and then puts it in the fridge to cool down.

- Huxley’s moms owns 3 cats. One rarely moves, and the other two are menaces.

Taglist: @morgansplace

[candyskiez]

Favorite The Owl House episode?

tbh, haven't rewatched the show in a long long time so might need to rewatch to be sure. for a while, it was eda's requiem. it means a lot to me and genuinely made me realize shit about myself. as dumb as it sounds it's what made me realize "...oh. if I died, that'd...probably fuck up the people around me." so it has a massively special place in my heart. and also the depth it gives eda! made me reevaluate shit about how I view parents and also just. god. the importance of found family and how important it is to acknowledge that it's just as important as blood family. found family is so often treated as secondary and seeing it portrayed as just as important is so fucking good and god! middle aged characters with depth! middle aged WOMEN with depth! some of the most accurate depression rep I've seen. she feels so real and raw and god, it's really nice to see a middle aged character who gave up learning to get back up again and stop feeling like they missed the best of their life and wasted it, and aaorudhdjd. god. I love eda. the music is beautiful and the duet is haunting, raeda fascinates me, and bard magic will ALWAYS be my favorite magic in toh.

I feel like the grey decaying thing works excellently as a metaphor for depression. it's what made me start going "is this a metaphor for mental illness?" because it FEELS like it. the voice acting is top tier and its so fucking good. it's just,,, man. a middle aged woman having an episode all to herself?? baby mes mind would've been BLOWN. her hatred of the curse wouldn't have hit nearly as hard without this episode, I think. the loneliness and feeling like it makes her Less is shown so well in this episode. it's just,,, man. as someone who's struggled with depression all my life, it resonates. she doesn't even CONSIDER king would still love her. raine saved her fucking life there and I'm still fucked up about it. it handles depression very well and its just. Man. that duet is one of the most memorable scenes in the show. darius abomination form is badass, raine's powers are so cool, the bats have my ENTIRE heart, the fucking MUSIC. brads music bangs. I love his soundtracks and this episode is just. always iconic to me.

that being said, I'm not entirely sure if it's my favorite episode right now? my brain flip flops on these things. right now I think it might be eclipse lake because it's just. SUCH a good episode. it's so gorgeous. the fight choreography, the animation, the lore, but most of all the EMOTION.

it has such excellent abuse rep. showing not only the complicated emotional reality of living with your abuser, of being dependent on your abuser, but also the fact that having an abusive relationship influences how you view ALL relationships. I love that amitys trauma isn't sidelined! what originally comes off as amity being a little TOO excited about having a girlfriend and also dana flipping off disney is shown to be amity being fucking terrified of losing this. she's so desperate to prove herself and since they're foils we gain knowledge as to what odalia and amitys relationship might've been like through hunter and gain insight into how hunter might view other relationships going forward through amity and it's LOVELY.

it also drives me insane that people use this episode as proof amity would hate hunter when. nah. nah, absolutely not. also I love how it shows how fucking KIND amity actually is. this boy's threatened and backstabbed her multiple times and is showing he's willing to do ANYTHING to win, and she still feels so much fucking sympathy for him. because she gets it. he's like her. she would've done this in his shoes. she offers him kindness and shows no sign of holding a grudge??? NONE???? this woman is fucking forgiving. she would have every right to hate his guts and she doesn't. idk what y'all mean when you say she's a jerk shes fucking KIND.

also hunters breakdown is painful to watch. I don't know what I can say about it that hasn't already been said. it's so raw and resonant, it feels like watching a real kid, it has such a realistic depiction of abused kids, what else can I say?

I also love the addressing of the cycle of abuse. hunter isn't a pure innocent baby here. he's manipulative and mean and cutthroat. hes a dick! I love him having anger issues because that's how abused kids often are! and I love amity backsliding! I love amity going tunnel vision! I love how realistic and painful the whole episode is!

they're just kids, man. you can tell the crew wanted this to be realistic and they succeeded.

I don't know which I like more. they're both just so GOOD.

(ask me things!)

[wild-wombytch]

Mix of reading review and personal shits and existential crisis about lesbianism : (also TW for rape, I'm putting the most TMI paragraphs in purple so you can skip them)

I finished reading a French book with pictures and portraits of lesbians. While I liked it (there are especially fascinating portraits of immigrant lesbians and elderly lesbians), I have mixed feelings about it.

On the bright side, no TIM apparently, even a TIF dating only lesbians and not pretending to be male who was quite wholesome to read about. We stan endangered species.

And the less bright side...A lot of the women here seem to be bisexuals calling themselves lesbians and saying they "became" lesbians or they made a choice or were "happy" with their male exes. A lot of uses of "queer" (although all these women undeniably are SSA, have sex with and date women). The average experience seems to be women who were with their moid for 8y or so, had kids with them, and then had experiences with women or met their current long-term female partner and have more babies with them.

It's a bit disappointing. Like, I can understand older women who married long term with men maybe being lesbians. I can understand women trying to be with men (like I did) because they had no real representation of lesbian relationships (especially in rural/very religious areas) and never questioned their lack of attraction to men because they thought everyone was meh about them and hetero relationships were seen as the "default" or because they were afraid of their attraction to women.

But I'm sorry, women who are happy with men can't be lesbian by definition. And women who stay for YEARS with their moids... like c'mon. (Kinda TMI following) I spent two weeks and a half with "mine" because I was stuck in a foreign country and couldn't go home after two days there and I already felt sick and wanted to kms and had genuine mental breakdowns curling on the floor crying and only calming down by mentally organising my luggage and making plans to maybe hitchhike and panhandle my way to the airport while taking opioids until I was numb enough to be gaslighted into giving him another chance. And another. And another...and so on.

Technically, I was never fully penetrated because I was so repelled that I became a venus flytrap and I'm thinking that the bleeding I had was more about having tears down there than my hymen. Very much a "you shall not pass" moment.

When I tried again with a male thinking that maybe it was just because the other one sucked as a person and disgusted me as an individual and other men would be different, I almost threw up during intimacy and cried (which didn't keep him from forcing me to sex acts I didn't want and which made me sick and hurt me anyway).

Genuine question: do y'all think it's possible to be lesbian when you're with a man for years? To be lesbian and have kids with your husband? Could it be internalized lesbophobia and lack of solid French lesbian community ? Or is it genuinely impossible in your opinion?

Because at the same time...a lot of these women also spent like 15, 20y with their current partners and couldn't be with men anymore if they were single.

But it bothers me. From one hand, this book is good at getting rid of the guilt of having been with men/raped by men, but on the other hand...I genuinely couldn't relate to the average narrative there. There was I believe 1-2 lesbian only who were gold stars and while some say men weren't for them or were a mistake...I haven't seen strong words against men and the male body or penises.

Like, for me, what makes me call myself a lesbian is not just my love/desire/attraction to women, it's also my repulsion for the male body, no matter how much I attempted to "fix" it. (Kinda TMI) And looking in hindsight to all the signs, like constantly ""joking"" "haha but what if I'm a lesbian" or being against traveling (before caving in the pressure) because just reading about penetration genuinely made me sick to the stomach and made me dizzy in a bad way, even before I was confronted to actual irl dicks (that plus dysphoria). I went with men in the first place because I'm fucked up and struggle to dissociate friendship, fear and love, and my ex was the first person who seemed to not treat me like garbage (the very first days we met online at least, afterwards it's a very different story) and because I had problems with alcohol and stuff and thought I was pansexual because I was attracted to women but never asking myself if I ever felt something for men (I didn't, except fear. Which sometimes gets tangled with having "butterflies" because again, I'm fucked up).

Idk, for me lesbianism by definition is tied to repulsion or at the very least indifference towards the male body (all the male bodies, not just the ones who traumatized you), not just attraction to the female body, which can be bisexuality.

I'm also curious (since I see this hot topic a lot) about everyone's opinion about women who simp for, say, fictional men (maybe even exclusively feminine male characters, created to cater to a female audience). Who for example have fantasies about them, which don't involve penetrative sex, thinking of dicks or male characteristics they'd be confronted to irl like smell and hair and average moid behaviours. Could it be internalized homophobia/misogyny? A way to feel safe/deal with some ossues they had with males? Can they be lesbians (maybe lesbian in denial)? If so, does it i stop once they accept themselves? Or is it a dead giveaway of bisexuality? Curious of what radfems think about this since I've since very varying opinions on Reddit and such and met women like that irl.

[theokusgallery]

Since you have a lot of opinions about Sunflower fics, do you have any recommendations :p? I do generally agree with you about the derth of good works on them - kind of hoping for something I've maybe slept on.

Okay, I'll try,

First of all — I want everyone, and I mean everyone to read Coda for a Crestfallen Caitiff by MercuriallyApathetic, who also wrote The Strange Summer of Sunny Whatshisface (still one of my favorite longfics to this day but a lot more lighthearted). Coda is a masterpiece, it makes me insane, it is criminally underrated, I want to inhale its essence, and when I first read it it gave me a panic attack and a mental breakdown that lasted three straight days (/pos). Definitely read the tags and prepare yourself mentally but JESUS CHRIST I need everyone to read it. Please. You will regret it for a few hours but it is... an experience. To me at least. And to the two people I recommended it to who gave me feedback.

Then there's sunflower seeds in the rearview mirror by @andrewwtca which remains probably my favorite multichapter OMORI fic of all time (you might spot my essay-comments in the later chapters, I love this fic so much. I didn't end up writing one for the last chapter but man did it hit me hard). Very intriguing with a captivating style and an unreliable narrator mechanic that I am absolutely in love with. Everything by that author is excellent.

We have, of course, literally everything by BetweenDisorders. Arsenic is partly inspired by one of their fics ! (you know the one.) Their characterization of both Sunny and Basil (but especially Basil, because I'm gay) makes me froth at the mouth. Their style is very recognizable and honestly one of the best I've ever seen. But more generally, they have really original and intriguing ideas (like communication, in which Basil and Sunny are two computers... Did I mention how I'm a sucker for original/unique plots and premises enough yet) and everything they do is something you've never seen before. It's amazing.

Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia is also very, very good. It's a lot lighter, but it still made my gay little heart ache, because I'm a sucker for misunderstandings done correctly (fight me).

Detective Sunny by Det_Sun is genuinely one of the most creative, fascinating OMORI fics I've seen, and also way too underrated. It's an excellent read, and there's a bunch of ideas in it that you know go deeper than what is shown, and it makes my brain go at the speed of lights. Many many thoughts about this one. (Side note: I fucking love it when there's unexplored ideas in fics. Makes my brain go brrr. Not everything has to be shown and when I see hints of "behind the scene" thoughts and character background that isn't discussed much but still implied, my brain becomes a feral animal. I don't know if that makes sense...)

[thequietmanno1]

TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 103, Replies Part 2

1) “…

They fucking WHAT now

I hope I got that wrong, and you mean to say that Koichi is keeping track of McBee even at higher speeds, because otherwise…”- It seems that the shots somehow follow Koichi’s intended target, albeit with a low curving turn to them. It’s more noticeable with the softball shots, but it makes sense if Koichi’s firing them half on instinct at the indistinct blur Nomura’s become at high speed without really being certain of what part of him to hit. 2) “Bahahaha- McBee got defeated once again by the weakest of shits, oh my god man, AfO did a damn good job with this one, didn’t he?”- Koichi has been beating Nomura back with a nerf gun, when he actually has a genuinely dangerous arsenal hidden as backup. When Nomura finds out that he’s being handled with kiddie gloves this whole time, he’ll flip. 3) “Oh do you Phelps? I thought that you didn’t worked with Vigilantes, and rules and you let this run for too long and blah blah blah just let us see Koichi chasing McBee already.”- It’s actually a task that falls well within the purview of ordinary citizens, albeit rare because of the onset of mobile communication these days: Call for Help. 4) “oh, you mean the guys that you could’ve used before? what a fascinating fucking idea McBee, shame it’s too late for it now.”- It does clear the area of Nomura’s backup to allow him and Koichi to have a solo one-on-one at long last. 5) “Avoiding wasting them… like you did already against Aizawa? Oh my god man, he’s even talking to himself, I think the O'Clock tulpa started to grow sick of his shit.”- Between him and Tomura’s headspace, it seems the writers of the MHA verse have a real thing for giving their main villains multiple mental issues and personalities. 6) “HE FUCKING BETTER NOT

YOU HEAR ME FURUHASHI. YOU BETTER NOT.

IF YOU DO THAT I’LL STEAL YOUR FEMUR AND USE IT TO PLAY XYLOPHONE WITH YOUR RIBS”- Crises has been averted…for now. It’s kinda funny how summoning All Might is as much of a threat to our enjoyment of reading the story as it is to the villains. 7) “YES YES YES THERE’S STILL A CHANCE TO SALVAGE THIS STORY YES McBEE GO AFTER KOICHI AGAINST YOUR BETTER JUDGMENT”- Didn’t have to this time, as Koichi came to him for the final showdown. 8) “OH MY GOD THE O'TULPA JUST WENT “WELL, YOU’RE A LOST CASE, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I CAN SAY TO MAKE YOU NOTICE HOW STUPID THAT IS””- Hey, if rational arguments won’t cut it, indulge in his emotional breakdown so he at least cooperates a bit more, rather than standing still arguing with his imaginary friend, which helps nobody. 9) “OH THANK THE FUCKING GOD!

IT WAS KOICHI

…

WHY IT WAS KOICHI?

IS THIS PART OF THE PLAN SOMEHOW? HUH?”-  Koichi: I Am Here!....to draw Aggro! 10) “McBEE IS LIKE >)

NOW THINGS ARE STARTING TO LOOK PROMISING ONCE AGAIN”- Koichi is the only one not looking forward to this upcoming destined showdown. 11) “And that’s the end of the chapter, and boy did we just dodged a bullet there. Not like McBee that is.

But now that they put that card on the table I’m really fucking concerned that this is how it’s gonna end, with All Might showing up. I’m feeling scared that Koichi is there to cause a distraction while Soga leaves on his bike to call for backup.I’m terrified of that possibility.”- The one time we don’t want the mega-hero to show up and rescue everybody, because that’d mean stealing Koichi’s thunder. @thelreads

[iamaweretoad]

Can you tell me more about Ariel pretty please? Does he have a favourite food? Has he been able to grow closer to any of the companions or is he distancing himself?

Does he want a hug?

Thank you so much for asking! :D

(hiding my rambling under the cut)

I don't think he has a favorite food YET. Between the constant headaches and nausea, and the increasingly sense of disconnectedness from his own body, I think eating is more of a chore for him at the moment, and one that he frequently neglects. What he DOES enjoy -- on the rare occasions that they have the down time for it -- is the communal nature of sharing a meal together. His stomach may not allow him to appreciate the taste of Gale's stew, but he appreciates the time and care that his friend took to prepare it; he appreciates the fellowship, he appreciates being allowed to participate in the normalcy of it. He also just likes the feel of holding a warm bowl or cup in his hands, he finds it comforting, and I think for this reason the one thing he has figured out that he kind of likes is tea and coffee (really any warm beverage, but tea and coffee have the added benefit of keeping him awake).

The person he is closest to is probably my Tav, Salvage (because I am cringe and am headcanoning that they are in the same party XD). Sal stood up for him in the aftermath of what happened with Alfira, and Ariel looked after Sal when he had a breakdown on the night of the party, and they've had each others' backs ever since.

I think Ariel did start to distance himself from the others after Alfira. But over time he'd begun to earn back their trust and form genuine friendships, especially with the other front line fighters (Lae'zel and Karlach) and Shadowheart (even if he doesn't remember his past, I feel like traumatized church cult kids are gonna bond no matter what -- plus he's fascinated by her healing magic and how it intersects with his knowledge of anatomy/physiology). And then Act 2 happened and everything went to shit, so he's started to distance himself again (though not because they've lost faith in him this time, he's just lost faith in himself).

And oh my god, yes, he desperately needs a hug. 😭

[fancy-a-dance-brigadier]

star trek ds9 for the ask thing!

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble about my most beloved space show!!

Favourite character: Julian Bashir. He captivated me with his relentlessly irritating personality from day one. For real though, I just love how his character evolves throughout the show (season 7 not withstanding because what the hell was going on there), and I genuinely think he gets some of the best focus episodes (‘The Quickening’ I’m looking at you, that episode is a MASTERPIECE). But he’s funny and intense and strong and goofy, and above all he’s a consummate professional - there’s a lot of layers to him, which is what makes him so fascinating. Basically I’m a Bashir girlie for life. Love that noodle man.

Second favourite character: I’m genuinely having a hard time deciding between Sisko and Ezri, so I’ll choose both! Sisko is easily the best captain in all of Star Trek, and so much of that comes down to Avery Brooks’ masterful performance. There’s an endless amount of depth to his character, from his relationship to Jake to his hatred of the Maquis, from his position as Emissary to his passion for cooking and inventing and creating. Absolute king of my heart basically. As for Ezri, I just find her whole arc so compelling - she’s the host who was never meant to be a host, and she had the poor luck of hosting one of the most significant symbionts in Trill society. I do agree that the show definitely fumbles with her potential, and it’s a shame we only get one season of her, but I think she really does make the most of the time she’s given. Plus the nose scrunch. Nothing but respect for Ezri’s nose scrunch.

Least favourite character: The Female Founder. And it’s a shame, because DS9 has a great track record for its villains, but they really dropped the ball on her. She always felt like she slowed the story down, and her role in Odo’s story just got repetitive. I think they did improve her at the end of season 7 when she was dying, but a few good episodes don’t really make up for how frustrating I found her throughout the rest of the show.

The character I’m most like: Uhh Jake I guess? He likes writing, I like writing. He likes Ben Sisko, I like Ben Sisko. Uh yeah that’s all I’ve got 😂

Favourite pairing: Siskoshir, but I’m sure you saw that coming! It’s about the professional respect they have for each other, it’s about the tenderness, it’s about their shared willingness to break the rules for a good cause, it’s about that one scene in ‘Past Tense’ when Ben gets Julian breakfast. Nothing but love for them always and forever.

Least favourite pairing: Kira/Dukat. I don’t think I need to explain why.

Favourite moment: This is a cruel question because how am I supposed to pick just one moment?? From seven seasons of brilliant television?? I’m supposed to choose between the scenes with the Prophets from ‘Emissary’ and Benny’s breakdown at the end of ‘Far Beyond the Stars’? I’m supposed to choose between Julian confronting Winn in ‘Life Support’ and Kira speaking to Kai Opaka about her relationship to violence in ‘Battle Lines’? I’m supposed to choose between the ‘Rejoined’ kiss and Odo’s love confession in ‘Heart of Stone’? Cruelty, it’s cruelty I say.

Rating out of 10: 11/10. It’s perfect television. I’ve never enjoyed binge watching things, but let me tell you I spent 50% of my life last year binging DS9 for the first time and it’s become one of those beautiful experiences in my fannish life that I yearn to recapture. Sometimes a silly space show really can cling to your heart and never let go.