#the company of thorin Oakenshield

[modernincorrectlotrhobbit]

Fili: Kili and I failed our safety course today. Bilbo: What happened? Kili: Well, one of the questions was, “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” Bilbo: And? Fili: Apparently, “fucking large ones,” wasn’t the right answer.

[screamingcatus]

Bilbo and the company

[ashesoriley]

My favorite parts of the extended edition of the hobbit

-fili getting 30 minutes of extra screen time

- Bilbo and thorin kissing carrock

- truth or dare with the company

-bard and Thranduil sex scene

-dwalin helping nori do his hair

- extended acorn scene featuring a kiss

- gandalf using a 9th level spell wish to bring back Thorin Fili and Kili

- them throwing the arkenstone in the ocean

[myths0f01d]

[am0o5]

Bilbo: I don’t know how to tell you this…but you’re in love with me.

Thorin: …what?

Bilbo: :)

Thorin: oh my god, I am!

Balin, too old for whatever that was: What kind of confession did I just witness?

[possibly-a-table-or-just-gay]

Dís, talking to Bilbo: You see, on their own they can be tolerable, rational even.

Dís: *gesturing at the company in general* Collectively, however, they have the intelligence of a sack of bricks.

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Thorin: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Fili: Well Y/n and I-

Y/n: *elbows Fili*

Fili: ...wouldn't know.

[ethereal-maniac]

Fili: their’s only one place I think y/n could be…

Kili and Dwalin: *nodding solemnly*

Thorin: well?

Fili: here *points on map of erebore*

Thorin: wait what? that’s in my quarters-

Dwalin: well, in your bed to be specific-

[stilltrails]

Other customs that hobbits do that would be particularly weird/shocking to dwarves would be gifting locks of their hair to their friends and loved ones.

Bilbo leaves them for all of the company. Just strands of his hair tied together with ribbon to signify how much he cares about them. It is..surprising to say the least to all of them, especially Thorin who thinks something is wrong.

Hair is sacred to dwarves. And they fear something is wrong with Bilbo, or someone has hurt him because he's cutting it all off.

In reality, Hobbits share hair often. They've got lots of it, it grows fast, and it makes a great keepsake.

Another thing is randomly cutting hobbit children's hair when it grows wild. All hobbits believe it's their responsibility to keep their youth looking sharp, and that's not possible when said youth have bird's nests on their heads.

It's accepted and expected of all Hobbit's to keep young one's groomed, even if they are not related. No matter where they are or what time it is.

So when Bilbo randomly sees a hobbit child with unkempt hair down to his back running in his garden, he takes him inside and gives him a proper trim.

And of course, the dwarves freak out. Why is this happening? What has the child done to be dishonored.

It takes a lot of explaining.

[theglassofmiddleearth]

Incorrect Quotes part 3

Legolas: Do not think I won't kill you dwarf. It would be my pleasure.

Y/N: *Quietly* I could give you pleasure.

Everyone: What?

Y/N: What?

[myths0f01d]

The parallel is killing me only slightly

[bookworm-with-coffee]

The Hobbit Characters as . . .

Wrong number texts!

(Character as: R = RIGHT side of convo, L = LEFT side of the convo).

______________________________

Bilbo Baggins (R)

* * *

Kili Durin (R)

* * *

Fili Durin (R)

* * *

Thorin Oakenshield (R)

* * *

Dwalin (R)

* * *

Balin (R)

* * *

Bofur (R)

* * *

Nori (R)

* * *

Ori (R)

* * *

Dori (L)

* * *

_____________________________

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this fest of absurd texts that reminded me of our favourite lads! But, the journey doesn't end here... I have another two posts coming as well!

I hope this made you smile! ❤

[am0o5]

Thorin: oh come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Dwalin: You we’re flirting with Bilbo.

Thorin, confused: so what? He’s my husband.

Dwalin: You asked him if he was single.

Dwalin: and then cried when he said he wasn’t.

[modernlotrhobbitthoughts]

LotR and Hobbit Characters + Buzzfeed Unsolved (2/?)

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Bofur: Hey, I say we go down there, kick Y/n's door in, and let them know that we’re in town.

Bilbo: That ain’t the way we do things here. We may have to go in there and run a con, drop a bug, do the smooth talking.

Bofur: Okay, you come with me, you do the smooth talking, let’s go.

Bilbo: No, we just can’t go in there and kick down Y/n's door. We need a plan.

Bofur: Well who makes the plans?

Bilbo: Thorin.

Bofur: Thorin, what's the plan?

Thorin: You guys are gonna go down there, kick Y/n's door in, let them know you’re in town.

[levithestripper]

“I’m so sorry that I have led you into such peril.”

“I’m glad to have shared in this peril. Each and every one of them.”

THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES— Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins