#the conflict and angst would be epic here

[thecampjuicebox]

Imagine how frustrated Haarlep would be with themself if they legitimately fell for someone. I think that might be the only way to fluster the dirty fiend. Lust and passion and indulgence, they know how to deal with. But love and tenderness and even the smallest inkling of emotional intimacy? I imagine Haarlep wouldn't hate it, just hate that they don't know what to do with it.

I mean, just imagine Haarlep puzzling over someone complementing their wit and just enjoying their company. Imagine Haarlep reacting to receiving aftercare for probably the first time in a long while. Imagine Haarlep receiving a thoughtful gift (like maybe Haarlep off-handedly mentions wanting to pursue a hobby and they later find supplies needed for said hobby gifted to them) with no string attached or any expectation of paying back the gift-giver. I would eat that kind of stuff up as if I were starving.

Anyway, thank you! Sorry for the paragraphs! Rambling over! Bye!

OKAY WAIT

You are truly on to something here. Haarlep fluff is my weakness and I am so so so so so excited to write about it whenever I get the chance. Baby deserves some lovins too!!!! (Might do a few parts to this, but for now I think Tav giving Haarlep a lil bath after sex just sounds so sweet)

Inferno Pt. 1

Pairing: Haarlep (m) x Tav (gn)

Rating: 18+, Minors DNI

POV: 3rd person

Warnings: Fluff, angst, very light smut, mutual pining, trouble accepting genuine affection, slight game spoilers (this fits in a weird spot canonically)

Chests heave in the throws of passion, sweat and sex mixing into a scent cocktail of epic proportions. Skin to skin, mouth to mouth, Tav and Haarlep ride the waves of their pleasure, completely enraptured by the sounds and heat between them. Frantic thrusts rattle the large bedframe holding the mattress up beneath them, Haarlep's wings creating a protective cocoon around their otherwise vulnerable bodies. It's become a normal occurrence, the two of them. Late nights. Early mornings. Enjoying each others' company and the animalistic fuck sessions they've grown so fond of. With Raphael constantly being busy after the fall of the absolute and Tav finding a new home in the House of Hope, Haarlep searched for newness. For "fresh meat to feast upon in trying times", as he put it originally.

Tongues wrestle for dominance in a display of conflicting power, Haarlep's hips quickening their pace to chase his end. Quiet grunts break through the warm air of the boudoir. Breaking their kiss, Haarlep takes a moment to stare down at Tav, a strange and unfamiliar warmth trickling through his limbs. Strange.. But almost comforting. Tav whispers sweet nothings into the cambion's perked up ears as they both finish and topple over the edge of ecstasy, Haarlep collapsing in his usual way against Tav's tired body. Trembling arms snake around Haarlep's torso as the two attempt to find oxygen once more, gentle fingers dancing along his spine, feeling the rise and fall of each vertebra and ridge on his hot skin. Now they lie there. Quiet. Enveloped in each other like lovers, a concept that is all too foreign to the Incubus. Love. Lust; Haarlep has known for centuries. But love.. Love is so new. So fresh, like a deep bite or the stab of a dagger. Sweet words and caring gestures typically feel like salt in the cuts. Not with Tav, however. Everything feels natural with Tav. Organic and gentle. As he relaxes into the being beneath him, his mind wanders. Their quiet breaths and the thumping of their heart nearly lulls him to sleep. A tired Tav slides their way out of Haarlep's grasp to move toward the bath, the sticky residue of sweat and spend coating their skin in an uncomfortably thick layer.

"Mm, care to join me, Haarlep? I hope it's still warm.. Hells, we're in the Hells.. Of course it's still warm."

Tav chuckles sweetly to themselves, their air of comedic cluelessness forcing Haarlep to crack a smile. The incubus lifts his head, eyes narrowing on the naked elf before him. A bath? How romantic. A shiver rumbles down Haarlep's spine at the thought and he stands, sauntering slowly toward the tub, fingers reaching out to wiggle into the eternally hot water.

"Wouldn't hurt, I suppose.."

The two settle their aching bodies into the water and Tav immediately moves closer to Haarlep, fingers searching the edge of the tub for a bar of soap and a rag. Haarlep's eyes flutter closed and he focuses on the warmth around him. The steam. The scents enveloping his senses. The gentle swish of the hot water as Tav moves about the tub. Why is Tav.. The soft brush of a soapy rag across his chest startles Haarlep from his rest, his hands moving out to quickly guard himself from the assumed intruder of his space. Panic creates a flurry in this chest, pupils blown wide. His wings spread out and fling water out of the sides of the large tub. Tav gasps loudly and takes a step back, teeth clasping down onto their bottom lip, hand barely keeping a firm grasp on the slippery bar of soap they'd used to lather the rag. A mixture of embarrassment and shame paints the saddest expression on their face and Haarlep's fluttering heart falls deep into his stomach.

"What in the Nine Hells were you just doing?"

"I was trying to.. Wash you.. I'm sorry, I-"

Regret settles itself into the crows feet at the corners of Haarlep's eyes. He frowns at the frightened elf, wings settling into the water now after their terrifying display just moments ago. Large hands reach out to Tav's wrists and tug them closer, the bar of soap slipping and falling into the tub, a small splash coating Tav's lashes in water. Haarlep chuckles. A sound Tav hasn't heard in such a genuine manner. Is he upset? Worrisome eyes lower to the rippling water between them. The reflection of Tav's face on the surface forces their eyes closed anxiously. The rag remains clutched tightly between both hands now, suds and bubbles slipping out through the cracks in their fingers and spilling into the water beside them in a mountain of sweet smelling foam.

"Well don't just stand there. Keep going."

Confusion bubbles up in Tav's throat but they oblige, approaching the sleepy cambion with the rag once more. Little swipes clean the mess from Haarlep's chest and he lets out a content sigh. He's never been taken care of this way. He's never been taken care of at all, as a matter of fact. The feeling is both comforting and so disgusting. He lies rigid now, lids blinking as he stares up at the ceiling, his hands carefully resting on Tav's hips to keep them steady in front of him. The rag moves carefully up his neck now. Gentle strokes swipe away the sweat from the night's previous activities. Pausing for a moment, Tav fumbles for the bar of soap. They huff in frustration as it slips comically out of their hands and back into the water multiple times, droplets of water landing all over Haarlep's chest, face, horns, and wings. He grins and swiftly reaches for the bar, sinking his claws into the slippery surface.

"Gotcha!"

Laughter erupts from the two occupants of the tub. Genuine laughter. Tav carefully takes the soap from the incubus's claws, rubbing the rag around its surface to create a soapy lather. Haarlep retrieves the bar once more and sets it on the side of the tub as a precaution, a grin from his previous laughing fit still lingering on his thin red lips. For a moment, all is okay. The normal rumbling in Haarlep's brain is calmed. Soothed, even. The rag moves along his cheeks to clean them off. Tav's free hand moves around the back of Haarlep's head to direct him to look at them.

"Don't want to get soap in your eyes.."

"Yes, that would burn like, well, Hell."

Another sweet giggle leaves Tav's throat and Haarlep could burst into flames right there, leaving nothing but a puddle of floating ash in the tub where he sat. He adores everything about Tav. Their smile, the shape of their body, their sweet voice. Their eyes, Gods, their eyes. Piercing and gentle, staring right through him. Reading him like a rare old Tome. Most importantly, their interest in him. Not his cock. Not what he has to offer in the sheets. Him. Haarlep's claws gently rake down Tav's sides, earning a shaky moan from the elf's parted lips. Their resolve falters for a moment before the rag makes its way toward Haarlep's wings, rubbing gentle circles around the cherry colored leather skin. Haarlep sighs happily, his tail subconsciously wrapping itself around Tav's plush thigh. The tip rubs against their sex, making their knees buckle beneath them. With a swift tug, Tav falls against Haarlep, his hands moving to the globes of their ass now to hold them tightly against his lap, one hand moving to adjust their legs to wrap around him. Their eyes meet, and it's like the room around them catches fire. Sparks, lightning, flames, all igniting at once. Haarlep's stomach turns.

The unfamiliar feeling rises up again. It burns in his belly. Snakes its way through his arms and legs. Tingles like Weave in his spinal cord. He clears his throat, pressing even further into Tav while his tail continues the slow back and forth friction against them. The sounds he earns from the specimen against him just fuels his fire and he sinks his teeth into the top of their shoulder, little rivulets of blood pooling in the indentations he left there. With a grin, he licks the broken flesh. Tav writhes in his arms in excitement, reaching their arms up to give Haarlep's horns a gentle tug backward, forcing his gaze to fall upon their needy expression. With a huff, the incubus licks his lips, eyebrows knitting together apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I can't help myself.."

"You don't have to. Not with me.."

[sapphicromanoffxo]

Ugly Consequences | n.r. x w.m.

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff

Word count: 3k+

Warnings: angst, smut, strap on use, degradation, spanking, face slap, rough sex

Summary: based on a request "A WandaNat one shot or drabble, they had and misunderstanding and it lead them to a big fight to an angry sex"

A/N: idk what happened here but it happened. Sorry if there are any mistakes and lmk what y'all think. :)

╰┈➤ Masterlist

In the Avengers compound, Tony Stark, ever the party instigator, decided it was time for a party. Despite the collective groans from the team, they couldn't deny that Tony always stocked the place with the finest booze for a truly epic night.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the rest of the Avengers, Natasha and Wanda had been quietly nurturing a secret relationship. They opted to keep it low, safeguarding their newfound romance and using this time to navigate the complexities of their relationship.

The relationship can be considered as delicate as both of them did not have a good history with relationship, especially with Natasha, and diving into it especially with their rough past is tricky. They have to be understanding of one another and learn each other's trust. While Wanda yearned to reveal their love openly, Natasha held reservations, solely concerned for Wanda's safety.

Natasha's protective instincts clashed with Wanda's fierce independence, leading to heated arguments. This lover's quarrel simmered for days, creating an underlying tension that hung heavy between them.

Despite the disagreement, they continued to share a room, train together, and steadfastly watch each other's backs. Yet, an urgent need to resolve their conflicting perspectives lingered beneath the surface, demanding immediate attention.

The day before the much-anticipated party, Natasha received an urgent call from Fury, summoning her for an unexpected surveillance mission. She assured that team that she'd return for the festivities the next night and would bring Maria along.

Wanda couldn't hide her disappointment, her expression a mix of frustration and longing as she reluctantly bid farewell to her lover.

As the night of revelry unfolded, an unexpectedly bold and rebellious streak ignited within Wanda. Embracing a daring fashion choice, she donned a provocative ensemble, accentuating her figure with a backless, black dress that revealed her chest and showcasing her toned legs. Choosing to accompany Vision, she engaged in playful flirtations, fueled by a sense of defiance stemming from Natasha's reluctance to go public with their relationship.

Unbeknownst to Wanda, Natasha had returned earlier than expected, slipping away to her room to shower and change. Her attire was a tantalizing half-revealed top teasing with a glimpse of cleavage, a calculated choice intended to captivate Wanda's attention and perhaps pave the way for reconciliation.

Natasha made her way down stairs and was greeted with guests who were enjoying themselves with the company of colleagues. Her search for Wanda amidst the crowd proved fruitless. With a glass of wine in her hand, she was prompted to engage Clint in casual conversation, discussing recent missions and various topics to catch up.

Clint, ever observant, leaned in with a curious revelation to an unaware spy, "You won't believe it, but our android and witch have been quite cozy since this party started. Look at them, standing so close. Vision seems to have captured Wanda's attention, it's a surprise, isn't it?" he remarked, drawing Natasha's attention towards the duo.

Indeed, there they stood, sharing laughter at God knows what, and Wanda occasionally leaning in to rest her head on Vision's chest. Natasha couldn't decipher the nature of Wanda's actions which tainted her mood and made her blood boil. She questioned whether Wanda's behavior was intentional or not.

Natasha chose not to comment as she might say something that might come out differently which could jeopardize their secret relationship. It is not her intention to keep it a secret per se, but she wants to have Wanda only for herself. Why does the world or anybody need to know that Wanda belonged to her and hers alone? Instead, she just continued piling up her vodka shots until she got the courage to approach the witch.

Wanda remained oblivious to Natasha's presence, completely absorbed in her flirtatious banter with Vision. Startled, she turned as Natasha's deep voice sounded from behind her.

"Vision, may I speak with Wanda for a moment?

The android nodded affirmatively. "Certainly, Agent Romanoff," Vision responded before stepping back, allowing the impending conversation to unfold.

Anxiety and nerves twisted within Wanda. Her self-assured facade wavered, uncertain whether her flirtatious antics were ill-conceived and would deepen the rift with Natasha. Despite the inner turmoil, she maintained an outwardly composed demeanor as Natasha positioned herself in front of her, her breath reeked with alcohol and cigarette.

"I noticed you're getting cozy with Vision. Is there something you'd like to share, Wanda?" Natasha lit a cigarette in her mouth, her tone hid the storm brewing within her. Yet, Wanda sensed the incoming. She scrambled to devise a strategy, searching for an exit from this situation.

"I don't see an issue here, Natasha. Vision and I were merely chatting." Wanda's attempt at denial, a feeble effort to skirt the truth, leaving her internally bracing for the consequences of her words.

Natasha retorted with a mocking tone, "Well, if I caught my own girlfriend flirting with someone else, I doubt I'd be interrogating her about it, would I?"

Wanda's reaction was a derisive scoff. "Oh, the nerve you have to bring that up when you're the one keeping our relationship under wraps. If I want to flirt, I will. I'm not yours and it seems I am only your fuck toy."

Natasha maintained a stoic facade, masking the raging turmoil within. So, this was what Wanda was playing at, to use her flirtation with Vision as a means to taunt Natasha's emotions and deepen their disagreement.

Deeply affected, Natasha struggled to contain her emotions, but she refused to let them show. Her decision to keep their relationship being weaponized against her. But Natasha had enough of this and her patience is wearing thin. If Wanda wants to act like a brat, Natasha will damn make sure to give her a lesson in order for her to learn her place. Natasha grabbed Wanda's arm a little too hard and instructed, "A fuck toy, huh? Go to my room and I want you naked when I arrive. I will be there in 10 minutes."

Wanda stood in stunned silence as Natasha swiftly walked away from her, leaving her standing in the corner amid the bustling crowd, feeling like a lost dog. The weight of the situation dawned upon her, compelling Wanda to shut her eyes tightly, seeking a moment's respite to gather her scattered thoughts.

As she was walking up to Natasha's room, she was contemplating the consequences of her action and her thoughts were filled with different scenarios that could happen behind closed doors. None of them has a semblance of positivity and but rather a grim possibility of a punishment.

Wanda wasted no time and immediately stripped the moment she got inside of the room. Her heart is hammering wildly out of her chest. Each passing moment intensified the twisting knots in her stomach as she awaited Natasha's arrival.

Choosing to kneel, she hoped to convey her readiness to bend on Natasha's will. If she showed that she will be compliant and obedient, it could potentially minimise the punishment that she'll receive.

The door finally opened and Natasha was pleased to see Wanda kneeling on the floor. Despite the sight, Natasha's satisfaction was overshadowed by a simmering, uncontrollable rage within her.

Natasha walked towards Wanda and crouched down at her level. "Hmm. Is there any particular reason why you are kneeling? Do you have something more to say?" Natasha inquired, this is also to suss out Wanda's motive.

"I would like to apologise for my actions tonight. I crossed a line and didn't consider your feelings."

Natasha was unfazed with what Wanda had said. Truth be told she doesn't give a flying fuck about Wanda's reasons or explanations.

"It's nice to hear that you are feeling sorry. But just so you know, I am not looking for an explanation nor an apology."

There's a dark aura that Natasha carried with her that made Wanda tremble to the core. Natasha wasn't one to scream or lash out without reason, yet in this moment, the perfect justification lingered. Wanda teetered between relief that Natasha wasn't visibly reacting and a gripping anticipation of Natasha's potential outburst.

"Come here and lay down in my lap instead."

As Wanda positioned herself across Natasha's thighs, she couldn't help but notice the lack of endearment in Natasha's voice, setting the stage for a possible confrontation.

With Wanda's ass on display, Natasha caressed the expanse of the exposed skin lovingly but the touch carried a weight on them.

"I thought tonight we could have a bit of fun after all these arguments that we've been having. I was expecting that you'd feel the same knowing that it had been an exhausting week for the both of us."

Oh Christ, here we go, Wanda thought to herself. Wanda braced herself, a sinking feeling gripping her as she prepared for the impending conversation.

"However what I found instead was my girlfriend flirting with a member of the team. Did it make me mad? Terribly so. Was I jealous? Maybe. But you know what I felt most? Disappointment."

Tears welled up in Wanda's eyes as Natasha's words cut deep, piercing her heart like sharp knives. Understanding dawned on Wanda that Natasha's anger was justified, especially considering the serious repercussions of Wanda's actions, ones that now placed her in this situation. The weight of Natasha's disappointment felt palpable and Wanda struggled fiercely to hold back the flood of sobs that threatened to overwhelm her in that very moment.

A sudden pain reverberated throughout Wanda's body the moment Natasha's left, dominant hand spanked her buttcheck. It came like lightning, startling her reverie.

"That's for being a selfish brat."

Smack.

"I have been very patient with you."

Smack.

Natasha's voice is now growing darker, threatening, and dangerous.

"I try to be understanding but it seems you don't care about that."

Smack.

"I am so fucking disappointed in you."

Smack.

"You didn't even think about what I would feel."

Smack.

"But instead, you prance around,"

Smack.

"like a fucking slut!"

Smack.

Each hit almost never landed in the same spot and Wanda is certain that her ass will be bruised after. The stinging pain triggered her tears but what hurts her more is Natasha's anger that translated through her words. She can't bear to hear them any longer but she will endure the pain for Natasha.

Natasha caressed the expanse of Wanda's ass, her hand travelled down and groaned when she felt Wanda's dripping pussy, "Look at that, a little spanking made you wet."

Wanda squealed when she felt Natasha's fingers playing with her slippery slit, teasing her clit in a painful way.

"So pathetic. So needy."

Smack.

"Get off of me and get on all fours on the bed. I want your ass up."

The witch scrambled off Natasha's lap and positioned herself in the middle of the bed. She was trying to steady her erratic breathing but the anticipation of what Natasha would be doing next is not helping at all.

Natasha opted to not shed her clothing, she went to their bedside table and retrieved her strap on and handcuffs. She contemplated using a rope instead, but she knew handcuffs were going to hurt better. After all, this night is not about getting pleasure, it's about teaching a lesson with an infliction of pain.

With the harness situated on her waist, Natasha then grabbed Wanda wrists and bound them with the handcuffs.

"Scream as loud as you want, make everyone know how much of a slut you are."

Natasha did not waste any more second and penetrated Wanda's aching pussy in one swift move. This caused Wanda to cry out in pain for the sudden intrusion. She could beg for Natasha to be gentle, but she doubts that Natasha will listen to her plea.

"You will take whatever I give you 'cause this is what whores like you deserve. If you think you're my fuck toy, I'm going to treat you like one!"

The sounds that Wanda made are a mixture of moan from pleasure and pain. It's all overwhelming for her. She just wants to beg and apologise even more just so she can have Natasha's mercy. If this is the consequence of being a brat, then she might as well take it. She can't upset Natasha even more than she is and she truly regrets what she has done. The flirting act was a plan that went down the drain and with her on it. Now she's suffering Natasha's brash reaction to it.

Natasha was relentless in pounding Wanda from behind. One way or another, pleasure is out of the window for tonight. She has no plans on making Wanda orgasm as it should be willingly given to a person who deserves it. Pain on the other hand, is what Natasha can perfectly administer.

"Is that what I get, huh? Just because I can't give you what you want, you can just parade your pathetic ass around just to get back at me!?" Natasha fisted Wanda's hair and grabbed her closer to her chest.

"After all I've done for you, this is what I get instead? Have I not been enough? Was my love and devotion not enough for you!?" Natasha continued her verbal assault, pouring over Wanda like a damn storm drowning her further into her misery and regret.

"Please, Natasha! I'm so sorry! I won't do it again. Please, listen to me!"

The spy pushed Wanda on the bed, removed the handcuffs that bound her wrists and flipped her in order for them to be facing each other. Natasha's left hand, charged with raging emotion, swiftly cuts through space. The movement, sharp and decisive, arcs toward Wanda's face with a resounding thwack as palm meets flesh, the impact echoing through the room.

The force of the slap sent Wanda reeling, leaving her frozen in shock as she remained rooted to the spot. With a gasp, she instinctively grasped her right cheek, feeling the sting of the impact reverberate through her. Tears flowed freely, tracing a path down her face, mingling with the shock and confusion that consumed her.

Natasha, typically composed and collected, had never resorted to physicality, regardless of how hard and complicated the situation is. The only time that Natasha would hurt her is through spanking, but never done out of pure anger.

In that moment, Natasha's demeanor remained unyielding, devoid of any hint of regret for her actions, leaving Wanda even more disheartened. Every fiber on Wanda's being yearned to close the emotional distance between and even extend her countless apologies. The realisation struck hard—Natasha's lack of remorse was mirrored by Wanda's own neglect of Natasha's emotions.

Natasha penetrated Wanda once again, pistoning with too much force, making the bed creak from the brutal pounding from the redhead.

"Pretty little thing like you need to be put in place!"

"Natasha, oh God. Ahh!"

The pleasure that Wanda felt is erratic as she felt Natasha deeper within her. She damn well knows Natasha's capabilities in bed as she experienced them first hand. However, Natasha's current roughness also drove Wanda further into her pleasure. Maybe she's deranged for feeling like this but it's wrong. She shouldn't settle on being treated roughly but what can she do when she has hurt the person in charge of her sole pleasure.

"Do you think you deserve to cum,huh?" Natasha's left hand forced its way to Wanda's throat.

As tears streamed down her cheeks, Wanda's safe word lingered on the tip of her tongue. However, she instead attempted to extend a trembling hand toward Natasha's face, seeking solace. But before her touch could land, an abrupt, forceful blow knocked Wanda's hands off.

This made Natasha snap out from her pensive state and immediately pulled her strap out of Wanda.

"Fuck! Fuck! This is so wrong."

Natasha staggered backward, her steps faltering until she tumbled off the bed, the impact resonating with a loud thud against her backside. Her head is suddenly aching from the amount of alcohol running inside her system.

Despite the strains and soreness rippling through Wanda's body, she instinctively sprang from the bed, urgency propelling her towards Natasha, who now crouched on the floor.

"Hey, hey. Take it easy, my love. Look at me, please," Wanda's voice softened into a gentle, soothing melody, a plea for Natasha to anchor herself.

"Please, don't touch me."

Wanda, though her mind raced with conflicting emotions, gradually eased her touch no matter how her mind was reeling against it. She didn't want to aggravate Natasha and decided to do what Natasha wants.

A palpable tension hung in the air, their silence pierced only by Natasha's labored breaths. It seemed the gravity of the recent events had finally dawned upon her, immobilizing her with a stark realisation of her impulsive behavior. Waves of shame engulfed her as she recalled how she laid a hand on Wanda. Despite this, Wanda still sat on the floor with her, willing to offer comfort.

Natasha rose from the floor, swiftly gathering the blanket draped over her bed. Unfolding it, she gently enveloped Wanda's shivering form, tucking the edges snugly around her to offer warmth and comfort. Natasha's actions, spurred by concern, sought to shield Wanda from the cold, a gesture of care in response to Wanda's trembling.

Unexpectedly, Natasha hoisted Wanda off the floor, taking her by surprise. Anticipating being placed back onto the bed, Wanda found herself instead being guided by Natasha towards the door, heading in the direction of her own bedroom.

"Natasha?" Wanda asked, completely confused by the turn of events.

Silence persisted as Natasha remained unresponsive. Undeterred, she proceeded towards Wanda's room, swinging the door open before gently settling Wanda onto her own bed.

"Natasha, please talk to me." Wanda, still wrapped in a blanket, tried once again to reach out, wanting to resolve the issue between them.

"You should sleep here until we figure out what we want." Natasha's deep and serious voice made Wanda sit up.

"No, that's not what I want. We can talk now so we can put this behind us." Wanda insisted.

Natasha shook her head and noted, "I physically hurt you, Wanda. Your cheek is now turning purple." Her voice was laced with regret and shame.

"I hurt you first, Natasha." Wanda acknowledged her own fault. None of this would have happened if she didn't choose to be a bitch to Natasha.

"That doesn't justify what I have just done."

With that, Natasha stood up and made her way to the door.

"Natasha! Please, stay. I need you. I love you!"

Wanda begged for Natasha to stay but all she heard was the soft click of the door. Leaving her alone with her heavy heart.

Thanks for the request! ☺️ @lizziescigar 🫶

[she-karev]

Intervention (Marina Angst with a Happy Ending Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Three of Three

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Characters: Carina DeLuca, Andrew DeLuca and Maya Bishop

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 1

AN: Hey guys so Station 19 ended sadness but it’s up to us to keep the epic romance alive. I will post another Marina story next week and it’s gonna be funny and surprising. Stay tuned.

Mental Health Resources: https://www.nami.org/, https://www.aacap.org/, https://www.dbsalliance.org/, https://afsp.org/

Summary: Carina drives Andrew to the treatment center and along the way he expresses guilt and shame for how he treated everybody, most of all Amber. Carina returns home to Maya who comforts her.

Words: 3213

Carina drives down the road in her car about twenty minutes away from the residential facility in Bellevue. Andrew is next to her in the passenger side alarmingly calm even as he looks out the window in a foreboding way telling her there is an inner conflict going on. Carina looks at Andrew in pity before looking back at the road. She figures out what to say to make him feel better about the journey ahead.

“I know your scared but this is one of the best treatment centers in the state I checked.” Andrew is still looking out the window, “It’s 30 days to get you on the right meds, talk to therapists and monitor you. I will visit you every Saturday so I can see how you’re doing and tell you all that you are missing. I know it’s hard but you’ll get better and that’s the goal, that is what is going to separate you from papa. He is not strong enough to do this but you are, I know you are.”

Carina stops at a stoplight, looks over and sees Andrew rubbing his tired eyes, “I know your trying to help and I appreciate that I do and I am gonna do this I am I just…I can’t undo all that I did when I was being a stubborn idiot.” Carina sighs, “Opal got away with Erin because I made a scene, I was so far out of stability I didn’t do things rationally and calmly instead I looked like a crazy man and that girl ended up back in that monster’s clutches.”

“And she got free.” Carina reminds him to no avail as he shakes his head.

“What if she didn’t?” Andrew asks in a broken voice, “If she didn’t, she would have been tortured and raped for years and it would be because I was unstable and untrustworthy.”

“Andrea the Chief didn’t believe you and she allowed Opal to walk away because she didn’t consider the possibility that you were right.”

“You didn’t believe me either.” Andrew coldly reminds her, “Nobody did and honestly I do not blame them, if papa did that a year ago, I would have thought he was crazy too.”

Carina looks down the road sad for him, “You can’t blame yourself for what happened to Erin, if you do it’s just gonna hold you back and you won’t look forward. She’s safe and she’s with her family that is what’s important here, focus on that not on how you reacted while you were having a mental breakdown you didn’t ask for.”

“I ruined- no I single handedly destroyed the best relationship I ever had because I didn’t see what everybody else did.” Andrew sniffles as tears form around his eyes, “I did to her exactly what our father did to mama and I am never gonna forgive myself for that. She’s never gonna forgive me for doing this to her, for being another name in her list of crazy people that scarred her for life.”

“You didn’t mean to hurt her it was the mania that said and did all of those things not you.” Carina tells him from observation, “I’ve seen you with her for two years and those are two different people.”

“I told her she would end up like her father.” Andrew tells her in a regretful tone, “She was trying to help me see there was something wrong and my response was telling her that without me around she would end up like her father. Her junkie father who abandoned her after beating her, I told her she would end up like that man she hates more than anyone. And after that I compared her to her schizo mom who neglected her before screaming at her to get out of my apartment because I didn’t need her or want her. God I am the cruelest person in the world, I did that to a woman who has had more than enough crazy and pain to last a lifetime. I did that and nothing you say is gonna make that okay so don’t try.” Andrew takes a deep breath rubbing his face before continuing in a tearful voice, “I love her so much, I miss her so much, why didn’t I listen to her before I destroyed her why?”

Carina sniffles and wipes a stray tear away knowing how much her brother loves Amber and sees that love again for the first time in months. She only wishes Amber was here to see it so she can see at least one person in her life feels bad for the pain their mental illness put her through.

“You listened now.” Carina tells him, “You’re doing the work and she will see that. When she sees your getting better for yourself and her, she will forgive you and take you back.”

“It’s too late, way too late.”

Carina shakes her head, “She loves you and she’s hurt but I think if she knows you feel bad for the way you treated her, she will-”

“What did she say when you asked her to come to the intervention?”

Carina pauses at that sudden question and tries to lie, “I didn’t ask her.”

Andrew chuckles bitterly, “You always were a terrible liar. Just tell me word for word so I know how bad I messed this up and how much I need to do to make up for it.”

Carina sighs and relents, “She said she didn’t want to be a sitting duck for your verbal abuse again and that she’s learned from her mom, brother and now you to walk away from a bazooka pointing at her.”

Andrew grins slightly at Amber’s feisty nature, “That’s my girl, taking hits and not pulling back punches.”

“She’s upset Andrea you need to give her time to cool down.”

“We could live for thousands of years and the temperature in that woman wouldn’t go down a single digit.” Andrew takes out his phone to play a familiar voice mail, “If you don’t believe me listen to this voicemail, she left me after I ignored her calls.”

Carina listens to the voicemail that plays while she is driving with Andrew keeping a straight face after hearing this message too many times only now feeling anguished instead of anger as Amber’s slurring words fill the small car space, “Hi, it’s me again of course you didn’t answer, I guess it’s because you think I’m gonna point out what’s wrong with you and tell you I’m here for you to use as your own verbal punching bag. Yeah, that’s not gonna happen because I’m done Andrew, I am done caring about you because you clearly don’t care about me! Your sister made that obvious when she told me about you calling her and answering your phone when she calls while I have been here wondering where you are or if you’re dead!” Carina winces at that reminder of the day she accidentally told Amber Andrew was taking her calls.

Andrew continues holding the phone out, “You know what I’m not pissed anymore I am glad that you showed me what I should’ve seen two years ago at that awful bar. A man who is turning into a carbon copy of his father, you think I’m like my parents well let me tell you exactly what your dad would do. He would walk into your life acting all sweet and getting you to open your life to him but really he looks for weak spots to tear down like the cold manipulative son of a bitch you accuse him of being. That is exactly what you did to me you bastard.” Andrew closes his eyes at that feeling more tormented at soiling the loving and blissful relationship he and Amber established over two years.

“You got me to open my life to you, you let me feel safe enough to trust you and break my walls down that I put up after what my family did to me. And you know what you did Andrea Vincenzo DeLuca? You broke me! You made the pain you’ve caused so much worse by forcing me to let my guard down so you can twist the knife you put in my back. You are not the man I love, right now you are a carbon copy of your father who I hope ends up dead in a ditch because then you would know exactly how you made me feel you cruel, arrogant, crazy, selfish motherfucker!”

The voicemail ends and the car is filled with silence again as Carina processes that very vulgar message while Andrew looks down the road brooding over the voicemail his ex-girlfriend left when she was rightfully angry.

Carina exhales and takes a beat, “She’s very colorful with her words.”

Andrew nods still frowning, “Yeah and not afraid to make her point across. Do you still think she’s ready to forgive me, marry me and have my babies like none of it ever happened?”

Carina sighs, “I think you put her through a lot and you both need space to heal. The only thing you need to do now is take care of yourself, rest and learn how to establish a routine for yourself so you can be the man she loves again. If she ever decides to forgive you that is up to her and I think it might go better once she sees you are getting ahead of this. I will tell her where you are and how you are doing because I know no matter how angry she was at you she was still worried when you didn’t show up for work the next day. But for now, we’re gonna get you checked in, non aver paura.” Carina grips his hand to keep him calm as they stop outside the check in gate. Carina turns to the security guard, “I’m checking in my brother, Andrew DeLuca.”

“You need to drive around. You say goodbye there; he goes in on foot.” The drop arm in front of them pulls up and Carina drives around as instructed before putting the car in park. They both exit the car before taking his suitcase out of the trunk full of clothes and amenities for the month. Andrew takes an uneasy breath as he puts the suitcase on the ground ready to roll it inside the center.

He and Carina stand there for a moment looking at each other solemnly knowing the journey ahead is what he needs but not one that’s gonna be easy. Carina gives him a reassuring grin before putting her hands on his shoulders while he looks at her with guilt over how he treated her too after his breakdown. Carina has that far from her mind as the only thing that matters to her is that her baby brother knows he will always have her at his side through the worst times of his life like she always does.

“It’s going to be okay,” she says. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it is. You’re nothing like Papa. He wouldn’t do this, he wouldn’t accept help, even in the worst times. That makes you better than him. It makes you stronger and more brave.”

Andrew nods and she takes it as a sign that he is taking in what she is saying.

“I love you, il mio fratellino. And I’m going to be right here to pick you up in four weeks, okay?” Andrew nods knowing this is what he needs and looks at his sister with gratitude for putting up with him at his worst and never giving up on him even when he wanted her to. He resolves from then on to make amends for his mistakes by being his best possible self. And he knows the first step to do that is to head inside so his sister’s efforts aren’t for nothing.

“Thank you,” Andrew says quietly.

It is all she needs to hear, and Carina feels her chest swell. She pulls him in for a hug, holding on to him for as long as she can. Andrew wraps his arms around her pulling her in tight as both an apology and a thank you. They stand there for a minute hugging like they did when their mama died, it was the worst moment of their lives. Despite that they knew then what they know now, that they’re in each other’s corners through the good and bad.

Andrew pulls back feeling calmer and rolls his suitcase behind him walking up the sidewalk to enter the large building. Carina looks on with pride for her brother’s bravery and heartache for his unfair inheritance. As soon as he’s inside the building Carina finally lets the tears fall that she has been holding in since they started the drive. Carina takes a deep breath, wipes her face and heads back inside the car to drive back home.

Later

Carina enters her apartment exhausted despite the sun still being up and walks to the kitchen for her secret junk food stash. Instead of an empty kitchen she finds Maya kneeling down looking in her bottom drawers and pulling out a deep glass baking dish. Maya stands up and smiles at Carina.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Carina greets back pleasantly surprised by Maya in her apartment.

“I know I should have called first after last time, but I didn’t want to call at a bad time. I figured you and your brother needed to do this without intrusion and-”

Carina interrupts Maya with a kiss that takes the blonde firefighter’s breath away. Maya is conscious enough to put the glass on the counter, so she doesn’t drop it. She puts her hands on Carina’s firm waist sinking into this passionate embrace. After a few blissful moments Carina pulls back and leans her head forward against Maya’s looking deep into her blue eyes that look into her brown eyes with such love and conviction.

“I’m glad you’re here, I really needed to see you after.”

Maya rubs Carina’s back soothingly, “I’m here now, it didn’t go okay?”

Carina groans slightly, “He was hesitant at first there were tears and a lot of slamming doors…but eventually he agreed to let us help him. I called in and got him into a treatment center at Bellevue.”

“And the drive up?”

Carina sighs, “He told me how guilty he feels about Erin and Amber. He told me that he regrets hurting a woman that he loves repeatedly when she was trying to help. I told him that it would be okay that she might forgive him but honestly…I don’t know if she is.”

“I hurt you too, I lashed out and I did a very stupid and awful thing to you and you still forgave me. If we can do that then I think they can too.”

Carina chuckles bitterly, “You don’t know Amber Karev she is…she is angry and rightfully so and she has had enough people hurting her when they had a mental breakdown. I don’t know if she can forgive him and love him again. He loves her so much, what am I supposed to do if she rejects him and he is heartbroken without the love of his life there with him?”

Maya looks at her in thought, “…You could get him a dog.” Carina laughs at that suggestion causing Maya to smile, “I had to do something to make you smile. He’ll be okay I don’t know him but if he’s like you then he will bounce back and move on. As long as he still has you, he’ll be okay.”

“Okay.” Carina holds Maya’s hip. “And when he’s better, I’m going to make sure he gets to know you properly. I want him to know you, Maya.”

Maya smiles, her cheeks blushing pink. She is not normally the kind of person that someone wants to introduce to their family, and it used to be a red flag to her, but not this time. This time, she wants it. She wants to be all in with Carina and get to know her brother she loves so much hoping when the time comes, she gets his approval.

“I would like that.” Maya tells Carina who smiles, “I just hope he likes me.”

“He will.” Carina tells her with conviction, “If he doesn’t, he’ll just have to learn to get used to you or I will kick his bottom.” Maya laughs at that image and Carina looks at the pan with interest, “Why were you taking a pan out anyway? We’re you gonna make me something?”

Maya smiles and pulls away from Carina to grab the glass pan, “I remember you telling me that whenever you or your brother would get sad or scared you would go to the kitchen and make something together to cheer yourselves up. I thought we could do that since you need cheering up.”

Carina looks at Maya in awe over her remembering that story. She can still remember the day their mama yelled at papa and threw plates at him after he killed those four patients. She and Andrea would crawl under the covers and she would sing to him to calm him down. The next morning when their mama was in bed and their papa was at work, she took her brother to the kitchen and taught him how to make French toast. The process helped keep their minds off their parent’s breaking apart so every fight they overheard they would find a new recipe to try. It was their thing and it make Carina’s heart skip a beat at the thought of sharing that with Maya.

“You would do that for me?”

Maya nods, “I would do anything for you, I love you Carina.”

“Ti amo Maya.”

Maya smiles at the Italian words that she finds so sexy coming from Carina but focuses on the task at hand, “So do you want to start with the lasagna? I have been dying to know what your secret is.”

“Ah, ah, ah.” Carina teases, “You are not there yet bambina, we have start you off with something simple and then work our way up to my famous lasagna.”

Maya chuckles, “Oh really? Okay sexy Guy Fieri what’s level one of this cooking challenge?”

“Mmm.” Carina thinks with a grin, “Let’s start with something simple like spaghetti aglio e olio.”

“It sounds delicious what is it?”

“Spaghetti in garlic and oil sauce.” Carina explains.

Maya’s nose wrinkles at the concoction, “It sounds like a vampire’s worst nightmare.”

Carina chuckles, “Trust me bella you say that now but when we are done you will fall to your knees over my cooking skills.”

“News flash it doesn’t take you cooking for me to do that.” Maya tells her with a mischievous smile and Carina looks at her in amusement, “Okay what do you want me to do chef?”

“Chef? Wow I think I am going to love this.” Carina teases before they head to the pantry to pull out ingredients. Carina looks at Maya with love and admiration knowing that despite the day she and her brother had things were gonna be okay, she believed it.

[juniorig0327]

Revamped God swap AU Pt. 2

After thinking it out, I think this is the main AU I want to focus on. It isn't gonna be a full god swap AU, it's gonna be only the characters I want because I'm self indulgent like that.

Percy - Keeping Percy as a Son Of Poseidon but his family has deep connections to the Greek world way back to the ancient times, so he's also a legacy.

The two gods I decided that I wanted to give him connection to were Athena and Sol.

At first I opted for Helios but after realized that one, he's faded and that I wanted the connect to Sol to be rather strong I decided to go roman. And two (if I ever read trials of apollo lol) I could possibly have him conflict with Caligula which I think was Neo Helios. Now unlike him being a legacy of apollo, he doesn't get the things like archery or plagues, just pure sun. I think I'd want him to have a blessing sort of like Frank to always have a part of the sun with them. Some of his family members had stronger connections than others however.

Secondly, the main heritage I wanted to give him was Athena. The main reason for this is purely epic the musical related. I was listening to it and thinking about how much Odysseus reminded me of Percy and so here we are. I think I'd want him to be a first gen legacy. Sally never figured out she was a demigod until Poseidon came around and an incident happened where she found out. I feel like instead of the normal wisdom and smarts, Sally just ended up with emotional wisdom and maybe a bit of telepathic abilities.

This being said I feel like this would make Percy and Athena's relationship complicated. Athena would probably keep her distance and maybe slightly aid him sometimes from afar. She has complicated feelings. I can already imagine Athena and Poseidon fighting over him because he embodies both of their aspects surprisingly well. Poseidon with the unpredict ableness and wildness of the sea but the wisdom, knowledge, and battle strategy in a fight.

If I wanted to make this very much more canon divergent than before then maybe Athena comes to accept Percy publicly after TLO and they actually have somewhat of a relationship and then HOO happens and he's basically disowned out of nowhere and sent to follow the Mark of Athena. After he finds out about his role in the seven he's sorta pissed. The weight of the world is on his shoulders again, if he fails this means their screwed. And this time he doesn't have anyone to share the burden with, he's all by himself and has to do it all alone (which he does, and then he falls into Tartarus so uh thats gonna go well lol).

So yeah. Thats how I feel about that. I feel like its an interesting dynamic and it doesnt really change Percy that much I feel like except more angst (lol) and a new set of powers which I think I'll have fun balancing around.

Luke - Yeah, I already basically explained the Hades thing so yeah, I'm definitely keeping him as a son of Hades. But I think I can seriously use this to strengthen him and Percy's relationship to make the betrayal hit harder for him imo.

They're more chthonic gods and I feel like they're be somewhat feared, or at least Percy is. Luke was before but he just gained the trust of the camp slowly so they don't really fear him. It would just be another way they'd bond over.

Thalia and Nico - I'll be keeping these two the same respectively, just a bit more stronger probably. I think I could come up with some cool legacy heritages for them I think the only one I could really see being a legacy is Nico soo..

Annabeth - Annabeth is going to be an Apollo kid, but similar to canon she doesnt really have any useful powers. Her main weapons would be her dagger and then a bow gifted to her by Apollo that produces arrows out of light but I think thats it. She still keeps her intelligence thing because Apollo is the god of knowledge lol.

I do think like Will Solace that she'd eventually unlock plague powers, but also like Will Solace that would be a Tartarus thing because I believe they both deserve to go dark and apeshit in Tartarus so. Percy will probably have his Poison/Blood Bending and Annabeth will have her Plague Powers.

Leo - Decided midway through this post that I wanted to combine the AU of Luke just having a bunch of runaways with godswap because like why not so. Thinking of a Leo godswap is suprisingly hard. I'm personally thinking maybe Hermes but like chthonic Hermes. So like he'd have the typical Hermes abilities but could also like shadow travel. He'd still embody most of his canon traits I feel like and he'd be afraid of his chthonic abilities because of the incident with his mom but by the end he'd probably have overcome it.

Magnus - I think the idea of Magnus going to CHB surprisingly well and I've been thinking about a godswap for him because like why not. And so despite me have only read the first magnus chase book up to the point where he dies I'm thinking maybe Thor?? If you guys have any better suggestions please comment and tell me. Could have a cool arc of him and Thalia training together, some sort of Norse crossover, maybe an arc sort of like Jason's where he's just trying to figure out where he belongs. Also does anybody know if like, Norse demigods can use their powers before they die and go to Valhalla or if its like a after they die thing do they awaken them??

Last thing but I've also been considering making an oc for this. They'd be related to Percy but they wouldnt be like a sibling or like a child of Sally. They'd either be like a child of Poseidon or something or a child from maybe Sally's uncle's side which also somehow got roped into the greek world. I'm just a killer for sibling and family relationships and atleast in the original PJO series it's done SO GOOD. So if you would be interested please comment! I really like when you guys like and comment so please. If you have any ideas on this OC I want to make or maybe Magnus's godly parent I'd appreciate it so much!

[cladestruction]

so: i am literally going insane waiting for the movie to drop so here's a list of stuff i'd love to see in it (a bitch can dream !).

to my fellow metalocalypse enthusiasts: i'd love to see your army of the doomstar bingo cards!

FLASHBACKS!!! please give me flashbacks of young dethklok, i live for those

Toki's insulin shots and Pickles' inhaler. idk, those are very important to me lol

more of Nathan's creative process !!! let me see my man cook and struggle with the new responsibility of the song of salvation! (plus: how the rest of the boys collaborate with the writing/composing)

+ BONUS POINTS if it goes wrong at some point and we get to see some extra challenge for Nathan as a man AND as a lyricist

Skwisgaar being protective over Toki !!! give me that good worried boyfriend bandmate stuff !!!

Murderface-centric scenes that show us more of him: his upbringing, builtup trauma and psychology

+ Murderface full breakdown scene bc i love drama! the man has gone thru a lot and obviously deals with low self-esteem and emotional issues, and now he's dealing with a demon/posession??? i want to see tears i want to see blood!

something with their families. maybe some of them die as the metalocalypse advances + the boys' reaction to this

i really want the beginning of the movie to clear up what exactly happened post dsr (mordhaus security? how are the fans doing? etc) and how the band is doing without Charles

(this is very biased i'm sorry) nickles moments !!! please let me see them being band dads, or more of them being best of friends post reconciliation (UPDATE: i can settle for nickles angst too but pLEASE let me see Nathan be kinder to Pickles at the end please i'm literally begging)

SOBER PICKLES !!! considering this movie could possibly be more action driven or smth like that, i really wish we could see Pickles being sober and focused

the boys' reaction to their god-moment in dsr (do they even remember? what did it feel like? do they get to keep the powers all the time or how does it work? what even are their powers exactly lmao? etc)

spirit animals throwback yes please

more elaboration on the cave paintings and symbols tied to the band and the prophecy shown throughout the series

+ UPDATE: BONUS POINTS IF WE GET TO SEE DETHKLOK IN ARMOR AND WITH WEAPONS AS SHOWN IN THE STAINED GLASS YES PLEASE

band hugs. yes this is solely for my own happiness, nothing else

considering the clips, i really want Nathan to realize and say how much he values dethklok. he's stated how much he'd like to be a regular guy so i wold love to see him saying smth like "i never wanted any of this responsability!" but later on state that he does in fact value dethklok and would not have it any other way :') (yes it's fucking cheesy, ik)

rockso is back but as a ghost. he serves the only purpose of helping us see inside Toki's mind and shit

Murderface solo song/a very badass bass solo. i'd love to see him being better at performing as a side effect of the posession or something like that. that would also show a new appeal to him falling for the dark side

A CHARLES' SONG !!! specially with goth-religious kinda vibes or smth

MORE MAGNUS' FLASHBACKS

Knubbler being central to solve the conflict with Murderface

scenes with Jean-Pierre. it would be epic and you know it !

a near death experience with someone of the band. y'know, to help with the tension and the stakes. bonus points if it's while trying to save someone else of the band (my idea is something involving drowining, it'd be cool)

the battle with Salacia goes wrong at first. they're losing or they straight up lose and at the last minute they get to revert it with the power of friendship and shit

Nathan getting glimpses of how having a normal life would be (bonus points if we see Abigail as part of his fantasies of the dream life) but, in the end, he chooses dethklok (sorry Abigail babygirl ily). ig it could go both ways too, with Nathan getting to have both things at the end (the girl AND the band)

the boys FINALLY getting to care for the fans/the klokateers and showing concern over them dying!!! (like c'mon man, it's about time)

[imminent-danger-came]

Anon chilling on the precipice of madness again, and I’m so glad you liked that last ask! Truly, there is much joy to be found in discussing how much we enjoy (*cough* are dealt immense emotional damage on a daily basis by *cough*) the monkey show. Also, since I apparently can’t stop bugging you, for clarity’s sake I’m going to call myself Unhinged Anon if I submit any future asks lol. 

As always you make excellent points, and I am very normal about you bringing up the ‘MK smiling at his reflection’ thing because the motif of reflections in this show (see also: S2E5, S3E4, some others I’m probably missing, and especially S4E1) doesn’t make me even the tiniest bit insane. Nope! Not at all. But this time, it’s actually something you said in the tags that launched my marbles into the stratosphere for me to never find, because now I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want, like… a Sandy spinoff series or something. 

And I don’t mean a lore-heavy, epic adventure rich in heavy themes and conflicts like we have in the main series, just with Sandy at the center instead of MK. I want Sandy's series to be almost exclusively season one-style laid back episodes. But the good kind of laid back episodes, you know? Stuff like S1E6&7, that a lot of people dismiss, especially on a first watch, as nothing more than filler but actually serve as a subtle expansion/exploration of characters (“I also summoned monster trees with my stress, so. Should I see a doctor? We’ll worry about that later” still haunts me) and dynamics hidden under the guise of a silly little adventure with funny jokes, great animation, and fairly low stakes. 

I want to see what an appointment with Sandy’s therapist looks like, or even just the shenanigans he gets up to during those episodes where he’s mysteriously absent and only Tang seems to notice. 

I want to see Sandy teach Tang how to make tea, and maybe nerd out about those theories Sandy mentioned having about the gang's whole deal with the OG Companions.

I want to see Sandy’s endless teddy bear energy clash with Red-wants to seem intimidating but will also grab his new friends warm milk if they ask-Son. 

I want to see Wukong forced to have an extended conversation with Sandy, or really anyone from the team that isn’t MK or actively yelling at him, and getting to really see how they work off of each other. 

I want to see the secret ‘how do we help our clearly not okay friend?’ talks Mei and Sandy have behind MK’s back whenever he starts acting weird, and all the gossip that goes on during the yoga sessions they start doing together after Mei gets the Samadhi fire. 

I want to see Sandy talking with the little girl that LBD possessed, especially since something kind of similar happened to him during season 4, and accidentally becoming her new (and favorite) giant blue uncle. 

I want an episode of MK and Sandy hanging out. Just chilling on the boat, playing with Mo, going for a little walk around town until BOOM! Sandy brings MK to his unsuspecting therapist, who’s about to get the most interesting case of their career. And maybe, if we’re allowed a little angst, a discussion about how scary it is to be born with a lot of power that not only can, but will, hurt a lot of people if it isn't carefully controlled. About how they’ve tried, and failed, to avoid causing pain. About wanting to never cause pain, and how the futility of that sentiment almost outweighs the importance of trying anyways. 

And above all, I DEMAND a Pigsy-Sandy origin story! 

Anyways, this is basically just me edging ever closer to the brink of madness after you accidently inflicted No Thoughts, Only Sandy syndrome upon me with your last response. But, it's also an invitation to gush about Sandy some more, if you want, and also share anything you would want to see in a hypothetical Sandy show!

Unhinged Anon I got you, here's a motif post where I have every MK reflection in the whole show.

AND “I also summoned monster trees with my stress, so. Should I see a doctor? We’ll worry about that later” HAUNTS ME TOO. There's something about the way those shots are set up, cracking from blue to gold:

MK also becoming a "master of focus" in this ep, with focus becoming important later in episodes like 1x09 and 3x11/12 with Mei.

BUT ANON.

Imma use this ask as a spring board for one of my fav personal theories, which is this: OG Sandy, from the original jttw pilgrimage, is also our current day Sandy!

I'll probably throw this into an official theory post later, but for now I'll go into this theory underneath the cut:

First, let's start with 2x08 To Catch a Leaf, during which Sandy has several PTSD flashbacks:

So, the first one is some sort of battlefield, and the second one...

Is of Zhu Bajie?

Now, we know Pigsy has never worn an outfit like this based off of this comment in 4x05:

Pigsy: "Blue ain't really my color, but it beats looking like that monster, Zhu Ganglie."

-

The Pig Demon in that flashback from 2x08 HAS to be Zhu Bajie of the original jttw pilgrimage. But why would Sandy have a memory like that?

Next is the fact that while everyone else in 4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids is compared to their past life, Sandy notably isn't.

Tang knows friendship, but unlike Tang Sanzang isn't studious.

Mei is bold and brave, but lacks Ao Lie's caution.

Pigsy like Zhu Bajie is stubborn, but he has the heart his predecessor originally lacked.

Yet this is all Subodhi has to say to Sandy:

Subdohi: "You have nothing more to learn my hilariously blue student! Another star for you!" Sandy: "Dooww thank you wise master!" Subodhi: "But! You're far too nice for your own good." Sandy: "Uh huh, you noticed!"

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

-

It's exceedingly strange that in an episode where Subodhi breaks down everyone's character arcs, Sandy is told he's all good. He has nothing more to learn, and no more character development to go through.

Unless of course...Subodhi quite simply couldn't compare Sandy to his past life because there was no past life to compare him to.

Another detail in s4 that's always intrigued me is how Sandy is brought back to himself from Sha Wujing in 4x06.

Pigsy's heartfelt speech on the legacy of their past lives not defining their current one, or how they're not monsters, doesn't work. It's instead Mo offering Sandy wholehearted love that brings Sandy back:

Which, of course Sandy has a close bond with Mo, but Pigsy's speech wasn't anything to scoff at either:

Pigsy: "No. No! Just cause we look a certain way, cause our monster ancestors were, well, monsters, none of that matters! I won't let his legacy define mine, and neither should you! Your the strongest, the biggest, the bluest guy I know! But all you've ever used those muscles for is to help people in need—your friends. That don't sound like a monster to me." (4x06 Show Me the Monster)

As far as we know, that should have been the exact thing Sandy needed to be freed from his past life, and yet it wasn't.

That would be because, at least under the confines of this theory, the guy Pigsy is saying Sandy wasn't like was indeed who Sandy used to be. Yes, Sandy has far outgrown the person who fought to establish his own place in the world, learning that "hurting others isn't a measure of one's strength". But here's the thing, who you used to be matters. Unlike Pigsy's relationship with Zhu Bajie, Sandy's relationship with who he was in the past can't as easily be written off. It's still a part of him.

There are also certain other details. like the fact that Sandy knows his way to Flower Fruit Mountain in "A Hero is Born", or how he's so knowledgeable on ancient powerful remedies like the crimson jimson weed. Of course these details could be chalked up to plot convenience—which is by no means a flaw or complaint—but I've always wondered if there was anything more to it.

But, Sandy's more laid back reaction to most things has always intrigued me, and it would re-contextualize certain scenes like this one from 2x10 in a fun way:

Pigsy: "No! What could have been so important that you'd leave MK alone to face that- that thing! You're supposed to be his mentor-"

Sandy: "ENOUGH!" "I think we should give Mr. Monkey King, a chance to explain."

(2x10 This is the End!)

Of course with this theory comes a few questions, like why Sandy didn't meet the same fate as the other pilgrims, or why he wouldn't let Sun Wukong know he was alive, or why he would bother to pretend he wasn't the OG Sha Wujing at all. And honestly? I don't have an answer to these questions!

But what I do know is that Sandy's friends are greatly important to him-

Sandy: "Hurting others isn't a measure of one's strength—took me a really long time to realize that. As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend, I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me. Cause at the end of the day, helping my friends is more important than anything else in the world!" (2x08 To Catch a Leaf)

-and losing them would affect him greatly.

Whatever happened to the og jttw crew, that could very easily be the reason Sandy was "the most dangerous, deadly, rage filled warrior [Pigsy] ever [knew]". Based off of that 2x08 Zhu Bajie flashback, Sandy could very well have watched his friend die.

But, now that Sandy has his friends back in his life? Of course he's going to do whatever he can for them!

Which would include anything from making tea to breaking his vow to never fight again.

And please for the love of god give us a Pigsy - Sandy origin story. I'm begging. WHAT IS THEIR HISTORY MAN. WHY DID PIGSY KNOW HOW TO COMMIT A JAILBREAK.

[mdhwrites]

Thanks for your response to my ask about the Guardian’s choice! You make a good argument; adherence to logic shouldn’t come at the cost of thematic consistency and compromising the message you’re trying to tell with your story. I do think logic and thematic consistency can coexist in stories, but that’s a whole other argument I won’t get into.

I’ve read some of your thoughts on Anne’s arc in season three, and it was both surprising (and fairly refreshing) to see someone argue that the way Anne reacted to the events of True Colors was appropriate for her character and fitting for the show, since so many viewers think Anne (and season three as a whole) should have been far more angsty. It’s given me a lot of food for thought regarding an argument I’m still conflicted on. I think you made a valid point that Anne is far too young to properly process such trauma, and that Amphibia has never really been that angst-focused of a story.

With that said, I think the reason so many people expected the story to go darker, even if that would go against the previously established tone, was because of how severe True Colors got with its stakes. While I understand your arguments, I don’t think people can necessarily be blamed for assuming a more serious tone would be an appropriate continuation to True Colors.

So do you think season three could have been darker while still maintaining its identity as Amphibia? Take Olivia & Yunan, for instance. That episode is often cited by fans as the darkest episode, but it still has good instances of humour and levity, so it never really gets bogged down by the dark stuff. The only downside is the tonal whiplash that occurs when following episode transitions back to wacky hijinks with the Plantars. But it shows, in my opinion, that Amphibia can go darker while not losing the wit and charm that defines it in the process.

Now, I don’t think season three would have worked if every episode was as dark as Olivia & Yunan, but I’m still curious as to whether you think the show could have been able to still be itself while adopting a darker tone.

Sooooo... No. I talked about this before but people are OBSESSED with trauma nowadays, especially in cartoons. However, if you actually understand basic storytelling, literally the most basic storytelling format, let alone fantasy storytelling... True Colors doesn't do shit.

True Colors is the start of the darkest hour for our heroes where all hope appears to be lost. Now when I say 'darkest hour', I'm not referring to genre or theme. I am explicitly referencing the Hero's Journey here with that statement for a reason. That's how ubiquitous it is. How many shows have the main character, or their best friend, get fucking stomped on shortly before the finale so as to give everyone the motivational boost they need to take on someone so much larger and more powerful than them? A LOOOOOT of anime, especially shounen anime, does this. If you look at the Rescue Sasuke arc from Naruto, fucking EVERYONE almost dies in that arc and it doesn't make the show more mature or dark, it is just the amplification of stakes to make the challenge and victory for our heroes all the more exciting.

This framing even fits with the narrative uses of the shocking elements in True Colors. Sprig getting his life threatened and Marcy being stabbed are catalysts. One pushes Anne to a new level while the other forces everyone to be ripped apart so that they can go on the journeys of self discovery that will make them ready for the final fight. Before then though... True Colors is still fun and 100% Amphibia. It ends on a dour note but spends the majority of its run time still being the same fun self that Amphibia always was with bits of seriousness because it's a season finale. Even Sprig having his life threatened is met with the same grandness of emotion that fits the show so well. The melodrama that makes epic fantasy so fun.

And then the show gives itself time to breathe and be back to itself for half a season to make sure that you understand that the show is still going to be what you expect from it. Injury may be more possible now but Amphibia is still Amphibia. It was never going to become Game of Thrones cartoon edition like I feel like some people push that it should have become. Admittedly, most of those people seem to quite literally only be interested in the show for the trio which is missing the forest for the trees.

There is one other element that signals to the audience that this isn't a real big deal. After all, who gets stabbed?

The sacrificial lamb.

Marcy is the weakest part of the show. I know that's controversial but unlike the rest of the characters, she is the one who is always playing to a narrative role. The only one that the writers would actually be willing to fridge for the sake of another character or shock value (with Frobo being the closest to ever have this happen to otherwise). So even if I had not been spoiled on it already, I would never have expected Marcy's stabbing to actually amount to a lot. She was never a genuinely important character. A fun, likable character? Sure. It'd be like killing Willow in TOH though. You killed the person who mostly just existed for others to react against? Why should I care about that?

And the show doubles down on this issue. I actually don't like Yunan and Olivia as an episode much. I don't think it's much darker than a good number of other S3 episodes (though I do understand why people consider it the darkest). Not any darker than Commander Anne at least because the darkest element to me is the fact that the world is fucked. But Marcy? Even Olivia admits that Marcy only matters because of her intelligence and its relation to Andrias. She doesn't give a single fuck about Marcy as a person besides, you know, thinking that a teenage girl shouldn't have her autonomy taken away from her.

But her autonomy was never there to begin with. Not to me at least. Her fear is the only one treated seriously in the episode, the other two are jokes pretty much, and even then it's all about Sasha and Anne, which her character was always facilitating more than her actual relationship with them. It's why I don't like Marcy at the Gates because Marcy is mostly just a smart cardboard cutout for Anne to angst against and the scavenger hunt episode is the same way. So yeah, we get an episode about her fear that then ends with her being fridged a SECOND TIME and the only real exploration of that is for making Andrias sad. I don't really find that dark, I just think that sucks.

But it NEVER meant the show should be darker. The fandom just wanted that because it'd be brave and edgy and blech. Especially since again, no one in the fandom seems to be willing to recognize that the girls do deal with their trauma. Hell, Sasha does by wanting to throw Marcy away and be told that she doesn't need to care about her friend anymore. Doesn't have to think about what happened.

So while I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to have expected the show to get a little more mature post S2, asking for it to get 'darker' A: requires understanding what that actually means because TOH fans really struggle with understanding what 'dark' means for storytelling as well and B: actually requires stuff to happen that isn't a part of almost any fantasy story. You can talk about how awful it would be to actually have to happen to you but fantasy works off different logic. Dark fantasy is not just fantasy where a couple people get stabbed. Dark fantasy is where the entire system is corrupt and the story is exploring how those elements can be twisted to sin, greed and pain against others. Not just having characters cry, at least to me.

Hell, just as a last minute shout out: The toads from a meta perspective are actually one of the darkest elements of the series. They are oppressors, they are cruel and they profit off of the need others have for protection due to this being a harsh environment to live in. They practice the calculus of war and are self serving to the point of dehumanizing other races to justify their conquests. No one talks about that though because the show doesn't portray it darkly because this isn't dark fantasy. Instead, they're funny and relatable and actual people because framing does have a large part to do with a story's tone.

But stabbing? Lord of the Rings doesn't suddenly become more serious when Boromir dies. Besides mourning him, it doesn't signal a shift in the majority of the storytelling. It exists more to amplify stakes and to add tension to the journey and sell the new threat. That doesn't make it dark though, that just makes it a more exciting adventure with a sad moment for contrast.

Marcy getting stabbed is unfortunately just another side of that same coin so many stories use. So many regular fantasy stories, not dark fantasy ones.

======+++++======

As a note: Yes this ask, and kind of this chain of asks, is what motivated my previous blog about the confusing nature of 'dark' stories.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[bmblboop]

RWBY X Justice League... TWO!

Gonna do another liveblog while killing some time. Here goes!

-cut for length-

UHD is 480p? This movie has been out for two weeks and it's not 1080? I thought the first one was only that way bc I got it day-of!

Ugh, I wont get mad over it. The YT edition gave me trouble the last time too - let's just see how it goes.

Recap! Took me a minute to realize this is the Weiss vs Bruce music from the first movie - which is definitely the closest we've gotten to classic RWBY music.

"'Grimm' as in, "The Brothers"?" For half a second I thought she was referring to the Gods of Light and Dark but no as in the authors 'Brothers Grimm' because the DC universe is supposed to be Earth and fairytales are just fairytales here. Are they gonna lean more into the allusion aspect of RWBY et. al now that we have a world where Red Riding Hood and the others are just stories?

Jurassic Park moment with the Pterrorsaur. Except this time they can literally smell fear.

Epic Ruby moment vs the Taijitu (first time in Maya), love how creative the fights are.

Grimm on Earth turn to gunk? Hopefully it's just goo and not regeneration-goo (like the Wyvern 'Blood' in v3).

Ooh, when the Kilg%re/Goliath gets punched the cracks are yellow. Color scheme: red, white, black, yellow.

When I saw the flash of purple tailing Batman I thought TYRIAN!? Nope, it's just a Scorpion with a modified tail... suspiciously like Tyrian's. Guess Watts is involved after all.

Saw this preview clip, but ow. Weiss is still hurting from losing Atlas, and I honestly don't blame her. That was her home, and it's straight up gone. Glad to see this carry through from v9, as well as Ruby's post-renewal mindset.

Voice changer to keep the mystery voice a mystery.

Mmm Flash angst. Reminds me of v9 Jaune. Blond boys get no sleep.

Had to pause on Weiss' contacts screen and I love that shes got all her teammates, all her family, and Maria just, lurking. Lol

Clearly Maria has her own scroll but I do have to wonder how good she is at tech things given she has such a close-cropped image. Or maybe she doesn't give a shit XD.

Love love love that conversation with Klein, I love that this is the direction of Weiss' character arc and I love that daddy issues whammy of 'He abandoned Atlas long before it fell.' 'Do you mean Atlas, or your family?'

Time dilation double pun. The 'when you are needed most' line at the end of v9 and Weiss being the one saying 'we have experience with that' considering one of her glyphs is Time Dilation.

Blake breaking down the door feat. Yang's flirty wink.

XD Ruby entering the portal in style

We finally got a 'not in Kansas anymore' referenceeeee.

Oh, split up along Weiss/Blake and Yang/Ruby this time, glad to see it! Time for sisterly conflict.

Heh. Joker and Harley watching the city burn.

Oh now I see why Blake went to Gotham. Cat. Bat. "This is where he's from. I get it now."

The way Ruby just knew that she'd still be able to move like she did on Remnant. My girl. (Was worried for a sec she was gonna try to Silver Eyes it and that would fail)

"You learn not to question Flash's villain roster." That got a laugh out of me and I don't even know about Flash's lore.

Something about Weiss mentioning "Mr Freeze" while dressed as an Ice Princess is funny to me.

The particles on Blake and Jessica's fist bump :D

Aw man, it IS regeneration goop!

I guess 'consciousness is stored' is how we can get Watts in a post-v9 crossover. Technomagic stuff.

Weiss proving she's the queen.

Hope Cyborg isn't corrupted.

Love this Cobra/Dragonfly grimm. Clip it's wings!

'We need more firepower.' Enter Yang with an epic save.

Hold on, are Yang's flame punches the color of the lesbian flag?

Are we gonna a get a 'speedsters need to slow down' moral here? With Flash also rushing into danger and nearly getting killed?

Anyway, planning session time.

The truth revealed.

Honestly, 'no body no death' kinda applies here like we KNOW that Watts died either burning to death via Cinder's wish or when Atlas fell but he was surrounded by computers at the time as well. It could have literally been the last thing he ever did. (Or he did it during v7 since he already wormed his way into the Atlas network via Jacques).

Via Jacques. Man. Watts really is Weiss's personal villain.

The whole 'transferring consciousness' thing also reeks of the Aura Transfer machines used on the Maidens, but I always assumed that was Pietro's invention so he could give life to Penny. Maybe Watts stole or twisted the concept for his own use.

Yang seeing the Ruby in Flash mmmmm. The way he looks at her arm and asks 'what happened?' and Yang explains how she felt ooooooooo. Flash explaining that Kilgore is no longer in his brain but he hears and sees him all the time.

Blonde PTSD buddies WOOOO-

Meanwhile Ruby and Clark orphan bonding. Not entirely sure how Ruby will take the 'I make my parents proud for fighting for the things they died for'

Also given that some of Summer's first "lines" in the show was Red Like Roses Part 2 "baby please don't do what I did/I don't want you to waste your life in vain"

And on that somber note -break time!

[onewomancitadel]

I am appropriately tagging this post as anti-H/OTD so please don't come at me. You can enjoy the show, nothing I say here is cramping your fun; if anything I don't want what I'm about to post to be true.

Extract from The Hollywood Reporter article, interview with writer of H/OTD Episode 9, Sara Hess, alt text provided in image description

This is unfuckingbelievable.

It's G/ame of Thrones - civilians don't count.

I want to believe what she's said here is referencing, "Why is it always the innocents who suffer most, when you high lords play your g/ame of thrones?" But then she says:

But the cost is huge.

So the civilians don't matter. Rhaenys' decision to not incinerate Team G/reen is the major decision, but the lead-up to that which led to civilian death is not a major decision or something we're shown her to be angsting over or be concerned about.

So she's not going to kill another woman like that.

But she will kill civilians.

Hahahahahahaha. No, no, you don't get to play the realistic feudal politics schtick and the majestic epic spectacle that ignores realistic consequences, you just don't, unless you unpack what that spectacle is in an interesting way. You DON'T get to make your spectacle epic centrepiece of - MERCY? - in such a context.

Ridiculous. I want to be wrong and I hope I misinterpreted this.

But this is exactly what's so frustrating about the bit of 'realism' (though I don't think H/OTD is all that emotionally real or all that true to any mores of feudalism) is that once you start accepting it into your story you need to actually be thinking about your story in a really considerate way (something G/RRM even fails at, at times). If you've accepted that R/haenyra's bastards cause discord in the realm and people go to war over it (whether sincerely or not) then you know that these types of things have CONSEQUENCE.

Also nvm utilitarian moral ethics of the interviewer, the interviewer is just asking reasonable questions about decision-making of R/haenys despite the fact she has no foreknowledge of F&B coming. Or what that emotional response would've realistically looked like in the setting. Was that even how she would have reasonably conceived of the conflict? Kill the G/reens for peace in the realm? When R/haenyra's children and their bastardy isn't just a threat to the G/reens, it's about the optics of the throne and its relation to the realm?

Nevermind. Just keep your dragon set-dressing spectacle and abandon the moral and political farce, forreal.

I just hope there is context to redeem this. I really want to be wrong. I hope everything I wrote here is untrue honestly.

[zephra85]

I posted 4,970 times in 2022

23 posts created (0%)

4,947 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cheeziswin

@fierceawakening

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I tagged 3,943 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#video killed the radio star - 320 posts

#ybg - 281 posts

#tmnt 2018 - 235 posts

#rottmnt movie - 198 posts

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Longest Tag: 138 characters

#if they didn't seem like a creeper (which 9/10 times they weren't) i'd invite them to have a drink with me or sit with my friend group and

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sooo... like, we’ve all seen the subtle foreshadowing that Luz might be possessed by the Collector soon, but as we’ve seen in the latest episodes, it’s King who has an established connection with the Collector, which gave me a horrible thought:

What if KING is the intended target of the Collector’s possession, and it’s going to result in Luz sacrificing herself by either striking a bargain with them OR like, dramatically intervening ala ‘throwing themselves in front of a bullet’ trope to somehow transfer the connection/possession to HER instead of King?? 

Because I don’t think my heart could take that. 

20 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

#4

AW YISS HOMEMADE NACHOS AND RISE OF THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES MOVIE LET’S GOOOOOO

20 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#3

Also I haven’t seen anyone talk about it yet but CAN we talk about how Alya telling Nino about Rena Furtive turned out to be a good thing because if she didn’t, if Carapace didn’t know Rena was watching them from there?

See the full post

49 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

#2

Quick ROTTMNT Review

Oh god... the tears running down my face are so real. I need to watch the movie a few more times to properly process everything, but here’s what I can get out right now. 

I just knew there would be some fresh Leo/Raph conflict for this movie, but I didn’t know how it would be handled. I was hoping for some nice support/angst combo and they freakin’ DELIVERED. And in a way I totally didn’t expect.

The tone was consistent with the show yet somehow managed to pull off the tears and angst SO WELL. 

My biggest fear from the initial trailers was how Foot Recruit/Cassandra was going to be handled. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: It was addressed, and it made me laugh. We’re good.

Okay like... it almost feels redundant to talk about the animation? But I will a bit anyway. It was FIRE. It was BOSS. It was EPIC. It was everything you could possibly hope, want, expect, and more. It stayed Movie Quality the entire time. 

Probably my biggest critique is while yes, Leo and Raph were intended to have a role reversal, something shown in the show was how while Raph was always doing and trying his best as leader, he wasn’t a very good strategist nine times out of ten? And while Leo was more laid back and lazy he WAS in fact a very good strategist when he set his mind to it. This movie seems to reverse that...? Leo was VERY ‘fly by the seat of his pants’ and Raph put in the effort to make actual plans. BUT I suppose this could be attributed to a more literal role reversal. Leo decides ‘now that i’m leader whatever i do is FINE i guess’ and Raph has to overcompensate like he does in Pizza Puffs. It would have been nice to see this addressed properly BUT it didn’t ruin my emersion.

All in all, I loved this movie with my whole heart. Thank-you so much to the cast and crew for giving us this gift. I hope my tears fuel your next endeavors. 

65 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Also anybody else catch this tiny Todd at the beginning of the movie kicking ass and taking names???

271 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dramione-literary-analysis]

Love in a Time of the Zombie Apocalypse

Genre: Post-apocalyptic fiction, Sci-Fi thriller, Fantasy, Dystopian Fiction, Action-Adventure

Author: @rizzlewrites

Word Count: 355K 

OVERVIEW: An addictive, visceral, and immersive epic that masterfully places our favorite comfort characters into a gritty, volatile world, LIATOTZA will have science-fiction and slow-burn fans brimming with anticipation as the story unfolds at a breathtaking pace.

If you are looking for a plot-driven war AU of the utmost quality in the fandom, this fic is for you.

EXTERNAL PLOT: First and foremost, LIATOTZA is an epic that reads like a long-form television series. Wary readers may be turned off by the seemingly bizarre premise—zombies? Wizards? Science? Magic? Muggle weapons? Are we even in Harry Potter territory? Before you dismiss this masterpiece, hear me out—rizzle makes this work, and perhaps that is her most impressive accomplishment. This dystopian world that we’re thrown into just makes sense.

Narratively, it is a delight to read—there are so many twists and unexpected developments. The premise is so unique, the action so palpable, the world-building so immersive, that initially, I thought this could be published into its own standalone novel. That’s how good it is. However, upon further thought, I don’t think it would work. Here is why: rizzle doesn’t build this world to be an AU, she expands on the world that JK Rowling already established in canon. Without giving major plot details away, the entire basis of the external plot—how the virus starts, the source of political conflict, and the final resolution—is deeply rooted in the world and characters that JKR has established. It only works because of canon HP.

Pacing-wise, it is done very well. My ADHD-addled brain did find some parts to be slow, but there wasn’t a single arc or conflict that I didn’t enjoy. The plot doesn’t meander, except perhaps towards the end, during the resolution stage. From a literary perspective, this doesn’t quite work. However, this is fanfic, where rules don’t apply—and given that we are all in this fandom because of our undying love for Draco and Hermione (and really, we just want to see them whole and happy), this is a good thing!

ROMANTIC ARC: As you can gather, this is not a quiet, introspective fic, in which Draco and Hermione have time to speculate in-depth on their feelings for each other. However, for as much spotlight as the external plot gets, the romantic elements propels the narrative forward—rizzle is able to balance both elements so well that I would argue that one doesn’t outshine the other. In fact, both are made better because of each other (as in, the romantic plot-line is amplified because of the external plot; the external plot is appealing because of the romance).

This is a slow-burn—there is so much chaos in the world that our characters are pitted together, then torn apart, again and again—that when they finally get a moment of reprieve, the emotional (and sexual!) payoff is deserved and I think some of the best scenes in the fandom. In fact, the smut (while not frequent) is amongst the most intense, sexy, beautiful, explicit, and satisfying reads in Dramione fanfiction. 

I love drama. I love angst. I love smut. I love epic, passionate love, in which our characters have to go through hell and fight for each other. If this appeals to you, you’ll love LIATOTZA.

SETTING: Admittedly, the world-building took me a while to get used to, because it is so unfamiliar. This isn’t a comfort fic. There are familiar places mentioned (Grimmauld Place, Malfoy Manor, Hogwarts)—but they are not what we are used to reading. While the world-building is undoubtedly one of rizzle’s greatest strengths, it may also be one of the greatest deterrents for readers who don’t want a dense, intelligent read and would prefer something mindless and familiar.

I was thoroughly impressed to see how rizzle blends magical and muggle characters together so well in a post-apocalyptic world. The prejudice and fear of the muggle world that we see only touched upon in canon HP is exacerbated to the fullest extent in this work. With the Statute of Secrecy effectively obliterated, the tension between the magical and muggle world drastically rises and the crisis becomes global. It is grand.

SIDE CHARACTERS: There is a very balanced mix of canon and OC characters, and you will love (or hate!) all of them. Every single character is crafted carefully and effectively used to drive the plot forward. For those who don’t care for OCs, let me just say—they are absolutely necessary to make the world even bigger. There are BAMFs galore.Keep in mind that no one is safe, as many characters’ fates will have you gasping in shock.

DRACO CHARACTERIZATION: In-character? Hard to say, but I would err on the side of no (let’s be real, canon Draco would not survive a zombie apocalypse aside from barricading himself in his manor LOL). But because this world is so unfamiliar and chaotic, our beloved Draco is stripped of his aristocratic upbringing, and turned into an efficient, ruthless, lethal, emotionally closed-off antihero. He is an outlaw who ended up on the wrong side of the tracks. You’ll find no sniveling, showboating, poncy arse Draco here!

Similar to how Draco is portrayed in most war-time fics, he doesn’t care about the cause. He’s in it for Hermione, and he’s willing to raze the world to the ground if it means keeping her safe.

However, the biggest criticism that I’ve heard for this characterization of Draco is this: there really isn’t a justification for why he loves Hermione, merely that he is fascinated by her. From what I recall, there is no mention about their time or interactions at Hogwarts.

Nevertheless, I’ve heard that this is many, many peoples’ favorite characterization of Draco, because he is so attractive and competent and badass and sexy. Truly a wonderful romantic lead.

HERMIONE CHARACTERIZATION: Yes, in-character, but not unique. Like many fanon characterizations, Hermione is a do-gooder, wide-eyed, innocent, pure, and ultimately, cares about the cause above all else. But she is also brave, relentless, highly intelligent, and sacrificial—ultimately, a lovely heroine that you’ll root for.

TECHNICAL WRITING: Rizzle is a gifted writer—one of the most competent writers I’ve seen in the fandom. She is a masterful storyteller with impressive range who adeptly handles world-building, characterization, plot, and romance equally. Stylistically, her writing is dense and meticulous, similar to George R.R. Martin. That said, LIATOTZA is not an easy, quick read—it will require you to sink your teeth into it and work through it.

CLOSING THOUGHTS: LIATOTZA is genuinely a labor of love, and you can tell how much pre-planning and effort went into crafting this epic masterpiece. I haven’t read any of rizzle’s other work, but I suspect this may be her magnum opus, as it is difficult to comprehend that another story could be this epic. This is truly, truly a unique piece of art, and the fandom is incredibly lucky to have this gift.  

Lastly, it is worth mentioning that my favorite Dramione Audiobook of all time, @etl-echo-audiobooks has this available on Spotify, complete with voice acting and wonderful accents. Thank you, ETL Echo!

If you liked LIATOTZA, you may also enjoy: Manacled by SenLinYu, The Auction by LovesBitca8

…and for good measure, some non-HP work: The Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV), The Passage by Justin Cronin (Novel), The Western Passage by G. DiCarlo (novel that was originally written as FanFiction for another fandom, and actually inspired by the aforementioned Justin Cronin novel.)

[coraclavia]

Cora Watches: Kate Mulgrew in "Manions of America"

Today on Cora Watches, we find ourselves back in 1981, watching a 6-hour miniseries (5 without commercials) set in the mid-1800's. And yes, it's Manions, not Mansions. At first I had assumed that was a typo.

The story follows Rory O'Manion, a young Irishman working in the stables of the English aristocrat, whose daughter is Rachel (Kate's character). We see the local Irish population suffering under English oppression during Great Famine and potato blight. Rachel's father is Rory's landlord, and the English are bleeding Ireland dry in rent and taxes while Ireland starves because their staple crop (potatoes) won't grow. Things happen, tensions rise, and Rory leaves for America, and if you're thinking he just happens to see Rachel again there, well. That's an excellent guess.

This is just the beginning; it's an epic story that covers many years, stretching all the way through the American Civil War.

Regarding spoilers: I'm not going to spoil this one too much for you, so feel free to read through and enjoy the pretty pictures.

Most notably, this miniseries stars Pierce Brosnan. This is right before he got Very Famous; Manions of America premiered in 1981, and Remington Steele started in 1982. His first James Bond film was GoldenEye (1995).

First of all, let's get the obvious out of the way. They are a damn attractive couple. Look at that Hint of Scruff™.

It's such a great pairing: she's the rich English aristocrat, he's a rough-and-tumble Irish stablehand, and you better believe they're verbally sparring from the literal moment they meet. Mulgrew and Brosnan have amazing chemistry. I think this is an instance of a script that's already perfectly fine, and is then blessed with two leads who definitely elevate it.

Trivia: Have you heard the story about Kate Mulgrew flatly refusing to ride horses for anything on Star Trek because of a bad experience? It was in this series! Her horse got spooked one day during filming, and apparently Pierce Brosnan had to gallop in to save her. She got freaked out, understandably, and decided, Nope, no more.

But at least she got to wear this badass riding outfit.

Honestly it's like every costume is more fabulous than the last one. I could make an entire post of just pictures of her in increasingly awesome dresses, and let's hear it for her curling iron. It worked hard in this production.

We really get to see the personal side of the conflict; Rachel's English, in love with an Irishman, and her English brother falls for an Irish girl. It's really nice to see the conflict so present and real for these characters. There is angst, there is secrecy, there is Clandestine Kissing.

She is Very Very into Rory, and I don't blame her.

Sneaking outside to talk to this hottie? I'd do it.

I won't spoil it all--the story covers years, and a lot happens--but this.

Here's something I thought about while watching: Kate studied acting in NYC, and often her delivery in historical things like this reminds me of older-school actors. She was born in 1955; she grew up in the era of westerns on TV like The Rifleman and Laramie, and she probably saw and learned from actors trained with that stoic, semi-British delivery handed down from the theater. It is very weird watching her do a British accent sometimes, especially because I happen to know she was born and raised in Iowa. But that could just be a me thing.

Reminds me a little of her gothic holonovel, no? 😂😂

Other interesting cast: Pierce Brosnan's siblings in this include Nicholas Hammond, who played Friedrich in The Sound of Music (1965), and Linda Purl, who would go on to play Pam's mom Helene Beesley in The Office.

Do I recommend this: Yes! Wholeheartedly. It's a little soap-opera-y, but not in a bad way. Brosnan and Mulgrew are absolutely wonderful. And production value is great, especially considering it's made for TV, not a feature film. Pierce Brosnan and Kate Mulgrew make this such a joy, and I wish there were ten more movies with them together.

As of writing, it's viewable on youtube (part 1, part 2, part 3).

[redheadspark]

Are We to Blame? Ch. 3 🌌

Light My Love, Chapter 3

Summary: "Are we to blame?" I looked back at Druig as he asked this, seeing him watch the two men as well.

"What do you mean?" I had to ask him.

"I can't help but think that what we gave them, made them bitter to one another," Druig said to me, having me look from him over to the men again, seeing how it was now a shouting match. I could feel the anger boiling up, and though I knew I was by no means a mere wallflower when it came to conflict, I never liked it in general. 

I was more of an encourager for kindness, not an influencer for the latter.

WC: 5983

Warnings: Nothing but Fluff and a hint of angst

A/N: Here’s Chapter 3!  Thanks for all the Love and support so far in this Original story!  I hope you all like it so far!  Happy Reading!

Previous Chapters:

Chapter One   Chapter Two

Next Chapter: Chapter Four

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*Chapter 3 - Are We To Blame?*

Gupta Empire

400 AD

We have moved on from Babylonia, seeing that our time there was done and they were completely safe from Deviants.  The high walls that showed majesty and history were left behind as we went back onto our ship and said our goodbyes.  We knew it was time, more Deviants were around the planet and we had to tend to them and the humans that were there.  The Babylonians waved goodbye, some of them waving particularly to me as I smiled at them all one more time.  I knew I saved most of their lives from the past fights, seeing their faces and how they were appreciating me keeping them alive.  It warmed my heart a little but seeing clearly what Ajak told me some time ago.

I belonged here.

By that time, humans were evolving and adapting more and more to the planet.  The Tools that we gave them helped them all advance and succeed in their lives.  They were building structures, massive walls and their population growth was a sight to see.  It was a lush region to be in, the massive trees that hid us away from the sun and the warmth in a skin that would bring rain later in the years helped in their growth of food and building their homes and temples.  

Phastos loved showing his new inventions that would help them both in farming and communal life with one another, and we could all see how far behold the humans were in comparison to us.  It would be frustrating, seeing how much they can do and how much they could learn if only we could help him.  I saw it especially with Phastos and Druig at times, but Ajak was a constant reminder to us all:

"They must develop on their own.  We can give them so much, but now we can see it unfold in front of our eyes,"

Since then, we gave them all baby steps, seeing their spears turn into daggers or their hands for farming turned into plows and light machinery.  It was a sight to see, and in return, the humans sought after us for guidance and council.  We could only do so much, and for some of it was enough to just please them and get some praise back.  

One thing that developed when we were in this new home was the union of Ikaris and Sersi.  We knew they were dating around each other, epically Ikaris since he would follow Sersi like a small animal.  Sersi was the embodiment of good, filled with kindness and gentlest to all the humans she encountered.  Ikaris loved her, and since they got together in Babylonia I knew they would have some kind of union.  When we arrived in this new area, they had a ceremony together with all of us in attendance.  

The ceremony itself was beautiful, flowers and incense in the air as they were sating in each other's eyes while the priest conducted the ceremony.  We watched from the side, dressed in our best saris and we were all happy for the both of them.  Ajak cried happy tears, seeing her "children" in the best term getting married to one another.  Sersi, clad in beautiful robes that were made of her for the big day, beamed at Ikaris and watched him with such love in her eyes.  She deserved this, even with Ikaris who loved her wholeheartedly too.

I stood next to my family, clad in a sari with accents of Orange that matched my armor.  I had never worn something like this before, my hair in its loose waves down my back as I watched the ceremony.  I knew humans united in both ceremonies and other ways, in the way of their evolution.  The others knew about it, finding it amusing from time to time in our travels as we watched our humans speak and acted to another that they were in love with.  However, when it came to me and how I felt about it, there was nothing to tell.  

I felt nothing when it came to those kinds of intimacy.  

Maybe it was because I was an Eternal, or I had other priorities in mind. But there were times when I came women try to flaunt and be with Ikaris or even Kingo in their intimate ways.  Or even men flaunting to an intimidating Thena or the gorgeous Sersi.  I had it happen a few times, a man who try to swoon me to talk smoothly to me.  The main reason was that I was a God in their eyes, or even I had a small sense of beauty that I knew I had.  But I refused them every time, just the thought of being intimate with another person on that level made me beyond uncomfortable.  

Besides I had other things to worry about.

I on the other hand was simply getting a bit more confident in how I would carry myself, still helping when it was needed and protecting those who needed the protection.  Fighting Deviants for me, compared to the beginning, was becoming less stressful and more fulfilling.

My powers were evolving.

I learned how to fight with my force fields, moving them in ways that could make them become weapons themselves.  Although I was never wanting to initial fight and bring pain, it was a good substitute for how I moved with my fingers and how I could bend the arcs of my force fields at will.  I was also getting better at my teleportation, using it on the ship as much as I wanted and being able to get somewhere quicker than usual.  I had to picture my destination in my head before I could attempt to get there within seconds.  

Makkari, being the slight competitor that she was, would try and see who could get to the other side of town faster, than to the other side of the region.  It helped that she would push me to try and go farther, to use more of my powers to do so.  She was my best friend, and I cared for her as a sister.  It made me feel a bit bad when I would still get those jealous tendencies when she would chat with Druig or when they would go off on their own adventures together during their downtime.  That was another thing that was changing in me.

Druig and I were getting close as friends.

He enjoyed my time with him, the both of us talking with one another about the humans and how far they have come as a race.  He would use his abilities every once in a while, mostly in Deviant battles to lure the humans away from being hurt.  But he was also intelligent enough to help show them the recent invention from Phastos.  He had his moments of being a stubborn younger sibling, pestering and almost taunting Phastos in how Humans were not going to accept what he made just yet.  However, he was still willing to help and willing to try.  I could see he was more willing to help the humans be kind to one another, to be good with each other.  It was hard for them, though.  We saw civil fights they had with one another and he was aching to stop them.  

"Petty fighting that brings spilled blood," Druig mentioned to me one time as we were walking together in one of the smaller markets.  I nodded in agreement as he went on, knowing that he was ranting and needing to let out some steam, "Why do they need to fight with each other and be…"

"Hateful?" I asked, hoping to end his question.  He nodded, keeping his hands folded in front of him in hopes of not using his abilities out of anger.  I sighed, placing a gentle hand on his arm.

"I know its hard," I reassured him, seeing him look head but was still looking at me, "You wish to stop them from hurting each other,"

"They get so easily angered, over nothing that is that important," Druig hummed in agreement.

"However," I gently said, "Ajak told us it was not our place.  Although, I can see their anger to one another get worse as time goes on,"

Druig looked over at me as I was watching two men arguing with one another at a stall, a very heated argument that was about to be violent.  I knew what it was like for Druig, not in the same manner since I couldn't read his mind or felt what they were feeling.  But still, knowing from what we saw in the very beginning with what the humans were at the time, the humans were getting more restless with each other.

"Are we to blame?" I looked back at Druig as he asked this, seeing him watch the two men as well.

"What do you mean?" I had to ask him.

"I can't help but think that what we gave them, made them bitter to one another," Druig said to him, having me look from him over to the men again, seeing how it was now a shouting match.  I could feel the anger boiling up, and though I knew I was by no means a mere wallflower when it came to conflict, I never liked it in general.  I was more of an encourager for kindness, not an influencer for the latter.

Druig moved to walk on the other side of me, being in the middle of myself and the two arguing men as we passed them.  The men briefly looked over at us, at me, and I saw the anger on their faces.  I instantly looked away, but Druig glared at him with no powers involved then.  They hushed their argument, moving away from us.

"They're afraid of us," I hummed, almost sounding hurt by it as I looked back at Druig,  seeing his neutral face once more look ahead, "I don't wish them to be afraid of us,"

"They're more afraid of me than you," Druig reasoned, having me give him a slight shove of my shoulder.

"Of course they are, you cower at them with your eyes and that glare.  You're not exactly friendly," I joked, seeing him crack a small smile at him as we turned a corner, "Give them a chance, Druig.  Humans mean well and they can be kind to one another."

"Did you head that one from Ajak?" Druig asked, not wanting to sound bitter about our leader but it did come off that way.  I knew he had difficulties from time to time when it came to taking orders from her, which came from Arishem.  He was being held back, and it was showing in how he spoke and in how he walked.  A little girl, no older than 7 years old, rushed out from one of the stalls with two pieces of bread that looked fresh from their oven and stopped in front of us.  

She was a gorgeous little girl, holding it out for us with a massive grin.  I melted instantly, I loved children in particular when it came to the human race.  They were the definition of innocence and kindness, and I found myself playing with the children population every time we went to a new city.  This one was no different.

"Here!  For you!" She spoke in her language for us, which we were already fluent.  I knelt in front of her, being at her level as I gently took the bread and beamed at her.

"Thank you," I replied in her language, "What is your name?"

"Neyli," She replied, having me nod my head at her.

"You are too kind, Little Neyli," I answered back to her.  A voice called out to her from the stall, having me think it was her mother.  Neyli waved one more time and scurried away, having me get back up on my own two feet with the two bundles of baked goods.  I looked over at Druig, seeing that he watched the entire interaction from his spot and a small grin was on his face.  It was one of the very rare smiles that he hardly gave, the small that he would reserve for special occasions and even high amusement moments.  But we were sharing it, all over a piece of bread from a local little girl.  I gave him the second baked good, seeing him still watch me as he held it in his hands.

"I see it for myself, Druig," I answered him, then leaned in to take a massive bite from the treat.  He watched me, his smile never leaving him as I grinned and swallowed the warmth of the food.  I motioned with my head to his own that he wasn't eating it.

"They call it 'Bread'.  Phastos showed them how to make it about a month ago.  Try it, you'll like it," I reassured him, seeing him look down at his bread before taking a smaller bite.  I watched, seeing him think about for a moment before he hummed in agreement.  It was a sight to see, having me giggle at him as he took another bite with no hesitation.  A look of relief was on his face and in his stature, all from eating a small creation from humans.  He glared at me from my giggle, his mouth still filled with bread and he had no remorse over it.

"Told ya," I snorted at him.  

-----------------------------------------

"Hey, guys! Look at what they made for us!"

We were all meeting in Phastos's lab, looking at one of his newer inventions and hearing him try to explain it to us when both Kingo and Gilgamesh walked in with their arms filled with what appeared to be figurines and idols.  Immediately we all dropped our attention from Phastos to what they brought in, Phastos not being phased by it at this point and he walked over as well.  He knew we meant well, but we also knew his intelligence was far different than our own.

Kingo and Gilgamesh unleaded their treasures onto a secondary table near one of the displays, the rest of the group hurrying over and looking at what they brought.  Of course, I was one to take my time while I could already hear them murmuring to one another and seeing what the humans made for them.

"They made us!" Sprite said in amusement, holding a smaller figurine of herself carved from marble.  Ikaris could quite proud of his own, seeing how it almost looked just like him.  Sersi looked flattered, having me see it all over her eyes as her own looked gorgeous too.  

"They've come a long way in developing these tools," Phastos said in a grin as he was looking at a smaller trinket that was of him.  I saw Kingo give him a gin and clasp him on the shoulder,

"Good job showing him how to use those chisels," Kingo complimented him, Phastos beaming from the praise as he then looked at his own idol, "They still can't get the nose right,"

Makkari looked over at the miniature clay figuring of Druig, handing it to him and giving him a small smirk.

They made you way nicer here. She signed to him, earning a chuckle from Gilgamesh as he looked too.

"That they did," Gilgamesh said in amusement.  Druig rolled his eyes and gave Makkari a short shove as I saw Kingo then take out a smaller piece, rushing over to me.

"This one they just made today, for you!" He explained, placing a rather large coin in my hand.  I looked down, seeing how shiny and precise the metal coin was.  There was writing on the side I was looking at, having em confused at first.  It took me a moment to realize that I had to turn the coin over.

Once I did, it took my breath away.

It was a portrait of my face, looking up and the rays of the sun were right behind my head.  I was astonished to see my own face there on a mere coin, how it was shiny and new from being made by mere humans.  My eyes were closed on the coin, yet my hair was flowing behind me amongst the rays of the sun.  They made my face perfectly: my dip of my nose, the curviness of my cheeks, and the lines on my lips.  It didn't feel like I was looking at myself in a small piece of metal.  I was looking at another picture.

I wasn't looking at me.

"Let me see!" Sprite said in a grin, taking my coin before I could stop her.  She held it up, having it shine in the light of the room as Phastos and Sersi looked too.  They also were amazed at the picture of me there.  But this was feeling almost like some kind of exposure, showing a side that humans saw in me and not being able to stop it.  

"Oh wow!" Phastos said in amazement as he looked at the coin, "You look beautiful!"

"How pretty!" Kingo said in a hum, in which Spite gave him an annoyed look, "Hey, at least they got her nose right!"

"They got everything right," Sprite commented, almost a bit annoyed by it.  I didn't care, all I cared about was how I felt seeing that picture of me and how I felt and looked so different from it.  It was a completely different person, someone who was downright beautiful.  When it came to how I felt about my beauty, I considered myself a bit more humble.  I never saw myself as an angel in appearance, nor did I consider myself ugly at all.  Ordinary was how I felt about myself, ordinary and plain.

Not according to this coin though.

"You're the first one out of all of us to be placed on some kind of currency," Ikaris said in a hum, almost amused himself as he took the coin from Sprite and looked at it in the light.  I watched him, seeing him think to himself and how he was almost calculating something in his mind.  Ever since we came to this planet, I knew he was good.  But something was telling me to cautious around him, the stoic way he walked and carried himself was almost intimidating.  

"You should be proud," He finally said to me, his voice staying normal to me as he placed it back in my hand.  I wanted to be proud that I was seen like this by mere mortals.  I knew the others were proud, almost amused by it.  But I couldn't, I couldn't be happy that I was seen as more than my worth.  I was staring down at my coin, my face remaining calm and trying to be composed about it. However, it was starting to feel too much.

"Soteri?" I heard Gilgamesh call out to me, having me close my fingers around the coin and I looked up.  The others were looking back at their trinkets, but only Gilgamesh, Druig, and Makkari were watching me.  I saw Thena from the other side of the room looking to, though she was silent and analyzing me as Makkari was looking at me with worry.

What's wrong? She signed to me, her face etched with worry.  Even Druig, the very present brooding force of nature had a hint of worry in his eyes.  I shook my head, trying to avoid making a scene in front of them all.  

"Excuse me," I muttered as I placed the coin in Gilgamesh's hand.  I then walked away without saying another word, hiding my face with my chin down and walking out of the room.  I turned the corner and out of the sight.  I leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths.  I could still hear them talking to one another, all from my small outburst in front of them over a silly human coin.

"Is she upset over how they made her look?" Phastos asked, sounding just as confused, "They did a marvelous job though!"

"You know how Soteri is," Gilgamesh reasoned with his kind voice, "She never wants to flaunt herself in front of others.  Not even in front of us."

"She has no sense of pride in herself," Ikaris commented, almost sounding a bit smug himself.  It was painful to hear, hearing it from another Eternal that I was flawed.  

"Her pride is not outwardly flamboyant and seen consistently, Ikaris," I heard Druig comment back, his voice was cool and almost a jab back at the second in command, "Soteri is humble.  Something I think we should learn and admire.  Especially you,"

There was nothing else heard, having me breathe out and walk away to my room.  Maybe I was overthinking it, putting too much pressure on myself.  I hated that I had that second-guessing embedded in me, how it was always following me and nagging me at the back of my mind.  If this is what it's going to be like for the rest of my time here on this planet, I wasn't going to be able to make it.

I walked over to my bed in my room, already having a few presents there from humans in the past.  One of them was a rather large orange blanket, soft to the touch and soothing to sleep in.  I had some other things that were given to me like statues, pieces of jewelry, and pictures too. In comparison to the others, my room was plainer.  I sat on the bed, looking at my folded hand and the ring that Makkari gave me back in Babylonia.  I still wore it from time to time, a comfortable feeling and sense of reality at the same time.

"I love your room,"

I looked up, seeing none other than Thena stand in the doorway as she was looking at the small things I had everywhere, "It's nice.  Kingo's room is a bit more cluttered though.  Far too many things for my liking."

"He loves his presents," I hummed, not saying it as a nasty comment as she walked in and stood next to me by my bed.  I sighed, leaning back a bit in my bed as she was staring down at me with her levelness of kindness and intrigue that was always on his face and in her eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with being humble about yourself," She reminded me gently, sitting carefully next to me on my bed and giving me some space myself, "I find it quite admirable,"

"You do?" I asked, sounding sheepish about it, "I only see it as something in me that's…broken.  That I can't think better of myself,"

"We don't all think the same way," Thena reassured me as she reached over to open my hand that was close to her, I opened it willingly, seeing her place the very coin that I hate moments before back in my hand, "But the way you show your kindness and your selfless in front of the humans, that's worth more than how you think we will think of you."

I looked at the very coin again, almost seeing my portrait now in an intimate way without the rest of the Eternals looking at it too.  This time it was just myself and Thena, the mere embodiment of a warrior. She grinned, placing her hand on my finger to get my attention again.

"Soteri," Her voice was soothing when she said my name, and I looked back at her and saw the gentleness in her eyes, "They see you as someone who will protect them to the ends of the earth.   Your strength is solely your own, it is not mine.  Nor is it Gilgamesh's strength or even Ajak's strength. But how wonderful is that then?"

I smiled at her seeing that she was telling the truth to me.  She was never one to be talkative with the others, more watching from the distance but always on alert for any threat.  I loved how she was already ready for a fight, yet she was cool and calm at the same time.  I admired her and leaned on her when it came to wisdom since she rarely spoke.  But when she did, she spoke such wisdom it was memorizing.

"Keep that strength, and let it shine on those mortals.  This is what they see," She reminded me, pointing to my portrait on my coin, "I see it too.  And I'm not the only one,"

I gave her a confused look as if she said something that was almost a hint.  She would do that from time to time too, seeing something that none of us see and silently tell us with her subtle tones or a simple look.  She knew something else, but who was I to push her on it?  Thena just smiled, giving me a small wink from her before she got up from my bed and I followed suit.

"Let's see how pompous Kingo can be, shall we?" She asked, having me chuckle and follow her out of the room.  I left the coin behind, no longer worrying about it anymore.

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Present Day

"You have alcohol on this plane?"

"Anything and everything you would ever need, my friend!"

"How about a rum and coke?"

"Right away, ma'am!"

I was sitting at the bar of Kingo's private jet, watching as Kingo's valet, a kind human named Karun, starring making my drink in front of us.  it was almost like a dream, being about 40,000 feet in the air in a private jet on our way to Australia to find Thena and Gilgamesh.  The sky was open and clear, with barely any clouds as I turned on my chair to see the other two Eternals I just reunited with.

Kingo and Sprite.

Sprite looked just the same in her young body. Her vibrant red hair was short and pushed to the side, clad in her comfortable teal attire and already looking annoyed.  It was good to see and hug her again, given the dire circumstances that we were in.  She was living with Sersi in London for some time, telling me that Ajak wanted her to check on Sersi and she was with her ever since.  

Now Kingo, he was the same and yet completely different.  He was a massive Bollywood star, making moves left and right for the past 150 years.  He loved being in the limelight and using his charm to get his fame.  It did fit him, though I knew deep down was the kind Kingo I knew from the past.  It made perfect sense he would have his jet that we were now on, most than half of us together again from being apart for so long.  Karun knew about us being Eternals, he was a new ally and was filming some kind of documentary on u.  I saw her as a soft individual, listening to Kingo's every work and still watching us in admiration at the same time.  

Karun handed me my cocktail, having me give him a small smile and nod.

"Thank you," I thanked him, seeing him fluster a bit from the kind words I gave him.

"You're very welcome, ma'am," He replied, though I heard Kingo chuckle behind me as I looked over at him.  He was sporting a vibrant purple bomber jacket, his hair styled perfectly and that infamous smile on his lips.  He looked upgraded but was still the same Kingo to me.

"Karun, my friend, you are in the presence of the Great Soteri!" he said in his boisterous manner, having me see Sprite somewhat grin and almost roll her eyes from how Kingo was acting, "The Goddess of Safety and Protection!  She is the embodiment of swiftness and grace!"  I raised an eyebrow at him now, seeing him give me a friendly look.

"Really?  Now that last part is new to me," I commented at him as we stood in front of each other in the aisle.  He chuckled and shrugged.

"I made up that last part, even though it's true!" He reasoned as I grinned and took a drink from my cocktail, "But the Goddess of Safety and Protection, that's all on the Greeks."

"Adding the A to the name made it more….what's the word?" Sprite asked from her spot in her chair, looking up at me in curiosity.  I thought for a moment.

"Cocky?" I asked, seeing her think to herself before she had a smug look.

"I was going to say powerful, but sure," She replied, having me chuckle as I took another drink and Kingo clasped me on the shoulder.

"Soteria has a nice ring to it," he hummed while we both walked over to the set of chairs that were next to the bar, "They made your name sound amazing, by the way."

"And you're a massive superstar in Bollywood.  How is it that I can clearly picture it in my head?" I asked him coyly, the both of us sitting together in the plush chair as the jet was still streaming along in the sky.  I looked up at some of the posters that were placed on the wall, seeing Kingo's face there on each other looking so suave and yet powerful at the same time.  

"It's a nice life," Kingo said in a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant about it as he then grabbed his phone in his jacket pocket.  He tapped it a few times and then showed me the screen as he spoke again, "I saw this pop up on my feed a few weeks ago!  They found this in an excavation site out in India.  Remember this?"

I peered at the digital screen, taking a moment or two before I knew what it was.  I had a small grin on my face as I gently took his phone in his hands to look at it closer.  It was the very coin that was given to me, all those centuries ago.  It looked battered now, time took its toll on the coin with bent edges and the burnt down color.  But I knew it well.

My coin.

"They dated it back to 483," Kingo explained, smiling as I was looking at the coin in admiration, "Apparently it was the last coin that is in existence.  They tried to find others, but this was the only one."

"I haven't seen this coin in hundreds of years," I murmured, touching the screen almost in hopes I can touch the real coin, giving a small smile seeing it there in front of me.

"What happened to the one they gave you?" Sprite asked, walking over to look at the coin too.  I shrugged at her.

"Don't know," I replied, seeing them both give me a confused look, "I held onto it, but I think I lost it right before we…..we separated."

They said nothing, almost thinking the same thing.  it was a solemn note in the air now as I cleared my throat and gave the phone back to Kingo gently.  He gave me a small smile, showing he understood as he then changed the subject.

"When was the last time you saw Ajak?" he asked, sounding softer and kinder than before.  I thought back for a moment before answering.

"1985," I answered, "Feels like ages ago really.  I went to see her on her farm, I was living in New York at the same as a nurse."

"And now she's a preschool teacher!" Sprite said to Kingo as he smiled widely at me.

"Preschool?  Really?" He asked, having me grin and nod my head as I leaned back in my chair, "You always had a thing for kids."

"I love kids," I hummed, feeling lighter about the new subject at hand, "Any job I got it had to involve kids.  Kids are….well, they're innocent compared to the rest.  I was a pediatric nurse for a while, then I worked in Social Services for a good long time, and now I teach,"

"What a good Samaritan," Sprite commented, though I knew she meant well as she then paused before she spoke one more time, "It's weird, isn't it?"

"What is, Sprite?" Kingo asked, not understanding.

"That we're all getting back together like this.  Isn't it?" She asked, having the three of us say nothing and think about it.  I knew she was right, giving Ikaris and Sersi both a look too.  They knew more about what happened with Ajak, they saw her body and anything.  It was hard to see all of this unfolding in front of us, all of these things happening and leading us back to each other just to get to fighting again.  I didn't know what kind of battle we were about to get into, but perhaps it was going to be okay with all of us together as one, as it was before.

Just with now Ajak to guide us along the way.

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Australia

The first thing we saw, walking up to the small compound in the middle of the hot desert, was the bead body of a Deviant.

It already had me on the edge, seeing its lifeless form on a heap on the hot desert sand.  We all looked at him, uneasiness already on our backs while Karun filmed it on his camera.  I gave Sersi an uneasy look, seeing her do the same.  I knew they were attacked in London, they have already seen it.  But for me, it's been a long while since I have seen a Deviant.

The old memories were flooding back.

"This is the Deviant you fought in London?" Kingo asked Ikaris as they were walking in the front.

"It's different," he answered, "There must be more out there than we thought."

"How much more?" I had to ask, going back the body and closer to the building in front of us.

"We don't know," Sersi replied in a murmur.  Karun rushed over to the body with his camera out and ready.

"This is a Deviant, sir?"

"Yeah," Kingo replied solemnly.

"Ah!  It's a beautiful creature!"

"What, this?! What no!  It's hideous! You've never had one try to bite your head off!  Look...film!" Kingo commanded, Karun posting the camera at him as we were walking.  I was gazing at the small shack in front of us, a little courtyard in the front that had a working oven and drapes overhead to shield from the sun, mud walls, and small knick-knacks all over the place.  It was a small and quiet home, and a place I knew I could picture for Thena and Gilgamesh to hideaway.

"You're about to meet two of the greatest warriors the world has ever known!  Thena: Legendary, daring, fashionable!"  Kingo explained to the camera as we approached the front door.  Ikaris went to pounding on the door, the rest of us standing a bit back to give space.  Karun zoomed his camera right on the door itself, ready for the appearance

"And her trusty friend, a mighty powerhouse of strength…the fierce some Gilgamesh!"  Kingo introduced him, though no one was coming out of the house itself.  It was a pregnant pause, almost uneventful, but the smell sound of a radio was heard in the house.  Someone was indeed home.

"Gilgamesh!" Kingo called one more time.  Then the doors flew open, a figure standing there in the doorway that towers over the rest of us.  He, like the others, looked just the same as before.  His stature was broad and built on muscle, yet his face and stare that was almost bothered.

Gilgamesh, clad in an apron that said, 'Kiss the Cook'.  He looked at all of us then, finally speaking.  

"What took you so long?"

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A/N: There’s chapter three!  Let me know how I’m doing!

Chapter Four will be added tomorrow, if not Wednesday! Taglist: @bubblyyz​ @reallysparklychaos​ @alessandriapost @tanyaherondale​ @wooya1224​ @spideyswebshooters​ @vinvantae​ @hottpinkpenguin​ @basicrese @virtueassassin

[deny-the-issue]

The Battle of Illumination

Chapter 4: Clueless

TBI Masterlist

Summary: You have your first meeting with Chross and begin to think for yourself.

[silco x fem!reader] [4.9k words][no y/n] [set before act 1] [SFW] [angst] [20y/o naive reader] [Chp 4/16] [Canon-typical violence] [mild injury] [relationship development] [alcohol use]

AO3 Link

ko-fi link

Without the mask to filter it, you found the full scent of Shimmer to be quite pleasant. Intoxicating, even. Much like the man you’ve been working under for the past week. Observing him at every possible moment you could, Silco revealed his hatred for the topsiders as well as Vander. 

You could see lingering respect for Vander through the harsh criticism he offered daily. You guessed Silco had worked with Vander in the past and the partnership’s epic end was monumental in Silco’s transformation. Being the private man that he is, he never revealed what happened to him and you knew better than to prod an open wound.  

Losing yourself in the depths of the river you failed to notice the footsteps approaching you. The pink hue of the drug offered a soft reflection in the glass before you and a slight shift in it caught your eye. Your breath hitched as your eyes focused on Silco’s face, right behind you.

Whipping around you caught a glimpse of a smirk before it was replaced with his usual judgemental expression. 

“No mask today, Krysa?” Silco observed aloud seeking the reason behind it.

“You don’t like it.” You responded easily, a light blush reddening your face at the implied meaning. Refusing to be embarrassed in front of such a man, your gaze didn’t waver from his. Meeting his mismatched glare has gotten easier for you with more encounters with him. Even welcoming it when you catch him staring at you from afar, which happened more than you care to admit.

You’d like it more if you knew he wouldn’t hurt you but you had no such delusions. Dancing on the edge of the knife has taken its toll on you, dulling the primal fear Silco should induce. Sensing this, he took a few steps closer until he saw the hesitation of fear in your eyes.

“Why do you care what I think? You’re loyal to Chross, are you not?” Silco interrogated you, tilting his head to look at you fully with his demonic eye. You took a moment to breathe in the scent of cigars, aftershave, and shimmer before answering. 

“Of course, I am,” You spat out before calming your tone and adding, “believing in your cause is not in conflict with my loyalty to Chross. Unless you plan on betraying him, then it most certainly would be a problem.” Raising your eyebrows accusingly, you studied his face as he chose his words carefully.

“You believe in me?” Silco mused, causing you to bite your lip. His eyes followed the motion, making you feel a familiar heat gathering in your stomach. He took another step closer. Gods he was close now. He could touch the glass behind you if he just reached out. Thoughts of him pinning you there filled your head and you found it difficult to look him in the eyes. 

“I believe you’re one of the only people willing to do what it takes to change things around here.” You spoke timidly, starting to breathe heavier. It felt like he took up all the air in the room and you were struggling to get enough oxygen.

“This drug, shimmer , will destabilize the undercity. It will create addicts and orphan children. Is that the kind of change you want?” He asked with a daring glint to his teal eye.

“No,” You admitted, “but the topsiders have been doing those things for years. They won’t be benefiting from it this time, you will. If we use that opportunity to unite the Underground, they’ll have no choice but to give us our independence.” Your ears began burning with passion and you averted your gaze, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

Did I say we ? And us ? Shit. 

A gasp left your lips as he held your chin firmly, bringing your eyes back up to meet his. 

“ Never feel ashamed of your beliefs. You want something better for yourself and the city you live in. That is something to be proud of.” He pronounced, looking into your soul with his gaze of ice and fire. His hand left you after a minute as he took a step back before turning around completely. “You have a meeting with Chross, don’t you?” He said after a short pause.

His abrupt dismissal brought you out of your reverie, making you feel insecure. You left without another word, confused about your recent interaction. Yes, he was most likely manipulating you. His words affected you regardless, and you knew it was a dangerous trap to be stuck in. His praise had lifted your spirit and you yearned for it. He made you feel like you were doing something right for the first time since your father died. 

Remembering the touch you and Silco shared, you couldn’t help but hope there was something more in the way he looked at you. Maybe you were just touch-starved and lonely, but you wanted more with him . He’s the first man you had craved and you couldn’t help but feel depressed with the prospect of never going down that rabbit hole.

Dream on, why would he waste his time with a kid like you?

Sighing as you exited the bunker door, you collided with what felt like a mountain.

“Hello, Sevika,” You grunted, rubbing your now aching shoulder. 

“Where are you off to, brat ?” She inquired, loose ash from the cigar in her mouth falling to the floor.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You teased, backing away from her. She frowned and eyed you suspiciously. Taking her silence as your cue to leave, you quickened your pace out of the warehouse away from her piercing eyes. Sevika barely spoke to you and when she did it was with barely concealed hostility. You took it as a challenge, never letting her temper get to you. 

She took to calling you brat in place of Chross’ pet name for you and you found it strangely endearing. Having a nickname made you feel like you were being accepted into this dysfunctional family. Sevika’s men fit in immediately, some of them already knowing the others from the past. You felt like an outcast a lot of the time and it’s one of the reasons why you stopped wearing Chross’ mask. It just reminded them that you weren’t one of them; you were just a spy for the infamous Piltovian gangster. 

Despite what you had told Silco earlier, you did feel a slight pull of resentment for being loyal to Chross. It didn’t stem from devotion to Silco, but self-respect that he had brought out in you. More confident in yourself than ever, you found yourself dreading the weekly meeting with Chross.

Arriving in his parlor, you inhaled the scent of Chross’ expensive cigars and found you preferred the smell of Silco’s brand. Pushing the thought out of your head as fast as it arrived, you were swiftly led to Chross’ ornate office door. The agent opened it for you, looking at you with disdain.

What did I do to deserve that look?

Walking through the door you decided to ignore the agent’s sour glance. There was a new fancy chair in front of his desk, making you recall the screaming man from the last time you were here. Chross had his hands folded and waited for you to sit before clearing his throat. 

He’s usually lighting a cigar, why isn’t he lighting his cigar? 

“Silco has allied with Sevika. She has added her men to his cause, helping make weapons and gathering ingredients for his drug, Shimmer.” You spoke confidently, sitting on the edge of the plush chair. 

“How is he treating you?” He asked almost delicately.

Like you care.

“He treats me with indifference like every other person under his thumb.”

“But you are not under his thumb .” He sneered dangerously, stealing whatever confidence you entered with. “Where is your mask?” His thin, wrinkled lips quivered as he asked. Panic washed over you as your mind scrambled for an appropriate response.

“I forgot it.” You muttered, fear making you feel like a small child again. You barely heard his next words over your deafening heartbeat.

“I expect you to wear it at all times. It is a symbol that you are one of mine, and he needs to be reminded of that. Demand the respect you are owed. I will not tell you again.” He finished chastising you and took a deep breath, dispelling his anger. Leaning back in his chair, he reached for his humidor. 

“What does this shimmer do, exactly?” He inquired, clipping the cigar he delicately chose.

“I haven’t seen the effects with my own eyes yet but I am told it transforms the user into a hulking beast imbued with great physical strength. They are trying to make it so the subject can survive an initial dose. I’m not privy to the scientist’s progress and his notes are never far from his reach.” You offered the details gladly, hoping it would bring you out of the proverbial doghouse. 

Chross hummed in thought for a moment before pushing forward a small coin pouch. Swallowing the lump in your throat you took the bag and gave a respectful nod before leaving the office. You kept your head down the rest of the way out of the building, feeling ashamed of how confidently you had walked in. Silco had made you forget that you were just a stupid kid.

Anger fueled your movements as you made your way back to the cannery, feeling particularly irritated as you arrived. You went straight for your room; a storage closet on the right side of the building. It had room for only a twin bed on a metal frame and a nightstand with three drawers. 

Home sweet home.

You sighed as you fished Chross’s gas mask out of the top drawer, studying his mark before laying it around your neck. You wouldn’t comply completely and this little act of rebellion made you feel slightly better about being owned by Chross. Exiting your room, the mask feels like a noose around your neck and you pull it periodically, trying to loosen Chross’ invisible hold on you. 

Sevika popped out of the bunker door when you were a few steps away and smirked as she met your glare. 

“You’re coming with me, Brat.” She said menacingly as she continued walking towards the exit. Biting the inside of your lip you followed a few paces behind her, not wanting the conversation proximity would bring. She forced it on you anyway, slowing down to walk beside you.

“What’s the matter, did your meeting with your boss not go well?” She basked in your irritation and you wish you could punch the smile off her face. When you didn’t answer she continued, “Did it have to do with the fact you’ve been giving Silco fuck-me eyes for the last week?”

You tripped over your own feet and Sevika let out a rough laugh. As you regained your balance you shot her an angry look before retorting.

“I have not been giving him… whatever eyes. He’s been staring at me, not the other way around.” 

“You wouldn’t have to protest so much if you didn’t wanna fuck him.” She remarked a little too smug for your liking. Letting out a frustrated growl you walked the rest of the way in a simmering silence. 

I mean, of course, you wanted to fuck him. But that was never an option, right? You couldn’t imagine he saw you as anything but a kid whose sole purpose was to spy on him. Even at that, you knew Chross had other agents keeping an eye on the cannery, making sure there are no prying eyes. The longer you spent with Silco the less your position with Chross made sense.

You gave up trying to understand Chross for the moment and cleared your mind, focusing on the sound of your footsteps and the smell of the salty air that you’ve come to appreciate.

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You couldn’t help but admire Sevika’s strength as she pinned the shopkeeper against the wall and lifted him by his neck. It was a mistake, you realize too late, as the shopkeeper’s son knocked you back with a punch to the face. The pain sent you into a rage and you channeled all your frustrations into beating the kid senseless. Sevika pulled you off of him, preventing yet another kick to the kid’s stomach.

The shopkeeper threw the money to Sevika and she caught it with her free hand, holding you in a headlock with the other. She dragged you out of the store that way despite your grunts of protest and wriggling. Letting you go by throwing you forward, you stumbled before straightening your back and staring daggers at Sevika. 

“Don’t even think about it, Brat. You won’t win.” She confidently stated, gray eyes unblinking as she waited for your next move. You spit out the blood that had been pooling in your mouth and turned away from her, heading back to Silco’s. 

“Good choice.” You heard her say before hearing footsteps following you. You hadn’t lost any teeth but you had a gash on the inside of your mouth that wouldn’t stop bleeding. The scared look of the shopkeeper seared into the backs of your eyelids, seeing him every time you blinked. A ruthless person wouldn’t feel bad about what you had done, and you reflected on the usefulness of his son being there. 

He was a pawn, just like you.

Chills raced across your spine at the potential reasoning behind your placement with Silco.

That can’t be right. If I was collateral that would mean I have worth to Chross, which I most certainly do not. 

Remembering your latest meeting, Chross had asked nothing of Silco and his past; Only how he treated you. If the information you gather is already known, what use do you have besides as a hostage? Silco had been looking at you intensely this first week. Was he trying to figure out what to do with you? Then it struck you; If you’re a hostage you’ve been acting abhorrently. 

You tried chasing away the disturbing idea and instead focused on the painful swelling inside your mouth. When you arrived back at the cannery Sevika touched your shoulder and nodded her head in the direction of the basement. Climbing down the stairs behind her, she pulled out a flask and handed it to you before turning to the scientist.

“She needs stitches in her mouth, can you do it?” Sevika asked, your eyes widening as you realized what that would mean. Long, spindly, skeleton fingers inside your mouth . Your stomach turned violently and you leaned on a nearby table and groaned. Sevika quickly grabbed a trash can and got it to you just in time for you to vomit in it. 

“You’re not supposed to swallow the blood, idiot.” She insulted you as she held your hair back almost gently. The bile stung your cut and you winced in pain. Spitting the new blood out you took a large swig of whatever was in the flask. The strong alcohol burned a hole in your esophagus and made you cough violently to Sevika’s delight. 

The scientist, also the doctor you now learned, placed a few supplies on the table beside you. Pulling over a lamp, he adjusted the light to shine down into your face. He grabbed a hooked needle and you watched in silent terror as he threaded it. Spitting again you took another large swig, this time only letting out a small cough.

Sevika placed a stool behind you, pushing down on your shoulders to sit you down. The doctor brought over his stool, scooting closer than you ever wanted to be to him. 

“Open.” He commanded after dowsing the needle with alcohol, leaning over you. You obeyed, trying not to show how nervous you were. Willing your mind blank as you felt his fingers in your mouth. Not wanting to look at him while he worked, you shut your eyes as you feel the needle enter your mouth. You grabbed the table and let out a pained groan at the first stitch. 

“Don’t move.” The doctor muttered and Sevika grabbed your head from behind, holding it still. The rest of the stitches filled you with similar white-hot pain and you felt lightheaded by the time he told you to take another swig of the alcohol and swish. Your stomach was on fire from it and the warmth was spreading to your face when the doctor shooed you away with a wave of his hand.

You had never been drunk before and you tried your best to walk straight. What happened, in reality, was an entirely different story. You wobbled around, holding onto one of the tables for support. Observing you with a humorous lift of an eyebrow, Sevika lent you a hand, helping you hobble up the stairs. 

“I didn’t know you were such a lightweight, Brat.” She prodded gleefully as you held onto her as if you’d float away without her. 

“Shuddup.” You slurred as she dragged you through the bunker door. Looking up when her feet came to a stop, you met Silco’s amused gaze. 

“What happened?” He asked in a bored tone. 

“We went on the rounds and a shopkeeper didn’t wanna pay so I had to rough him up. His son thought he could help his old man out by sucker-punching Brat.” Sevika reported, drawing Silco’s attention.

“Did you teach him a lesson?” He asked in a dark tone. Sevika laughed.

“No need. She took care of it. The shopkeeper was so scared I doubt we’ll have trouble with him again after what she did to his son.” She gloated on your behalf, making you feel a small amount of pride. Offering your best smile, Silco grimaced at the sight and turned back to Sevika. 

“Put her to bed.” He commanded as if you were a child. You fought Sevika’s iron grip on you as your anger flared.

“I’m notta child . You can’t tell me whatta do.” You slurred, pointing a wavering finger in his direction. Sevika tightened her grip in an attempt to shut you up but the damage was done. 

Silco grabbed you by your hair and led you to your room that way, making you stumble as the room swirled at the tilt of your head. He opened your bedroom door and flung you onto the bed. Rolling over, you looked at him standing over you and you couldn’t help but undress him with your eyes. Faint interest swirled in his corrupted eye before he frowned.

“You look like a lopsided chipmunk, get some rest.” He scolded as you huffed at the insult. 

“ Asshole,” You muttered, earning a small chuckle as Silco turned off your light and closed the door. 

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You awoke in your familiar, pitch-black closet of a room. Licking your lips you wince as you remember your wound and lightly trace the stitches with your tongue. It felt like a jagged mess of skin and thread and you couldn’t help but wonder if the doctor knew what he was doing. Wouldn’t matter either way with limited medical care in the lanes. 

Sitting up, your head throbbed and you remembered Silco leading you into your room by your hair. A fact that you would have stored away for later if not for the embarrassing realization that everyone in the warehouse had seen him do it. 

There goes my chance at being taken seriously. 

Grumbling to yourself you got to your feet, feeling along the surface of the door for the handle. Shuffling out into the warehouse you shielded your eyes against the soft, early-morning light. The warehouse was as quiet as it gets with only a few goons; one at the forge and two having a low conversation by the crates.

 Deciding to report into Silco before grabbing something to eat, you head down the stairs with heavy steps. Silco was sitting in a high-backed chair, looking out of the large window. He turned his head, peering at you with his teal eye before standing and facing you fully. You could tell he hadn’t slept with bags under his eyes and loose strands of hair falling into his face. 

Walking slowly over to you, he pulled out a small vial of Shimmer from his vest pocket. 

“I want to try something,” Silco started, a curious glimmer in his good eye. “Will you indulge me?”

He stopped just inside your personal space and your face flushed at his words. Satisfied with your reaction, his eyes traveled down to your neck spotting the gas mask. Narrowed eyes tinted with irritation met yours again, pressing you for an answer.

“Y-yes,” You managed to stutter out before your brain fully processed his inquiry. A hint of a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips as he gestured to the seat he was sitting at when you entered. 

“Sit.” He ordered, relishing his control over you a little too much. You dug your nails into your palms as you sat in the chair and he placed himself just in front of you, your knees brushing his legs. Unscrewing the cap of the vial and storing it in a pocket, he grabbed your chin, tilted your head up, and looked down at you with an intensity that scared you. Lips parted, you looked up at him with wide eyes and you stayed just like that for a moment. 

“Do you trust me?” He asked in a teasing tone, mismatched eyes shifting between your own. 

“Not even a little.” You replied with a light giggle, earning another hidden smirk that made your heart flutter. Chipped teeth peeked through his parted lips and his tired eyes studied your lips for a moment before he spoke again.

“Open your mouth.” His eyes gleamed with anticipation as you hesitated a moment before complying. He tilted your head to the side so your stitches were visible to him. Hovering the Vial just outside of your mouth, a single drop of Shimmer made contact with your wound and instantly absorbed into the wound. A violent shock ran through your body, closing your jaw tightly as you yelped at the sudden rush. 

Silco soothed you with a caress of his thumb against your jaw as you came back down. 

“Let me see.” He instructed with patience you didn’t know he had. You opened your mouth for him again and he hummed, pleased with the result. As you closed your mouth again you traced back over the stitches and found only thread over a scar. Your eyes widened, realizing the potential. 

“You knew it could do this? How?” You thought aloud excitedly, re-examining his scarred face. “You used it, didn’t you?” You reached out to touch his face and he grabbed your wrist before you could. He lost all humor in his expression and you knew you fucked up. 

“Silco,” You almost whispered, “You’re a beautiful monster.” Flattering him was, admittedly, against your better judgment. He let go of your wrist harshly and walked over to a table to grab some tweezers and medical scissors from a pile of first aid supplies. 

“Take them out yourself. Try not to make a mess.” He sneered as he handed over the supplies roughly, making you flinch. Looking at the floor in submission you retreated to the bathroom on the main floor.

I’m such an idiot sometimes. Why can’t I hold my tongue around him?

The fluorescent light flickered for a moment before staying on, bathing you in harsh white light. There was no more swelling in your face, only faint bruising. Pulling down the collar of your jacket you noticed the bruises Silco had left on your neck that first night were all but gone. Only light yellow splotches remained where his fingers pressed into your arteries. 

You wondered how Chross would have reacted if he saw the bruises when you reported back to him. Would he have punished Silco in some way? Did he care for your well-being or is there some other reason that’s hidden from you? 

Sighing deeply, you brought the scissors up to your mouth, sliding them delicately along your skin, clipping the stitches as you go. Dropping the scissors in the sink you wield the pliers next, grabbing a hold of a strand. You had to pull harder than you would have liked, tears streaming from your eyes involuntarily. When you pulled the last one out you threw the tweezers down and grabbed the sink with shaking hands. 

Looking yourself in the eyes you thought about where you went wrong in life. Would it have been better if you had just worked in the mines? Or would some tragedy have led you to this life no matter what you decided? 

Running the water to clean off the tweezers and scissors, you spit out the little bit of blood that had accumulated in your mouth. Dragging your feet on your way back to the lab seemed your best option as you were not looking forward to another confrontation with Silco. To your relief, he was nowhere to be found but the doctor was now back in the lab. 

You slip past him without a sound to place the borrowed tools back in the first aid pile. He notices you anyway, turning his full attention to you.

“Silco informed me he dosed you with his shimmer variant. Would you allow me to examine the wound?” He requested eagerly with a raspy voice. Tilting your head towards the ceiling you opened your mouth for him. Your whole body tensed when you felt cold fingers around your jaw, pulling your mouth open wider. 

“Interesting…” The doctor hummed in thought before pulling away to scribble something in his notebook. When have people gotten so comfortable touching you? Feeling irritated, you left the basement and the warehouse completely in search of food. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You noticed your clothes fit a little looser and cursed under your breath at your weight loss. Silco made sure to feed his men but the chef wasn’t aware of the necessity of seasoning. Briefly pondering stealing some spices, you told yourself that thieving would be bad. Then you thought about all the laws you’ve broken in the past week and told the angel on your shoulder to shove it. 

The spices wouldn’t just help you , so it couldn’t be wrong, right?  

You found the most crowded spice stall in the business district, not far from The Last Drop. Wading in between paying customers, you managed to pilfer a variety of spices before the vendor eyed you suspiciously. Satisfied with your bounty, you walked away confidently, losing yourself in the adrenaline rush.

Following your nose through your favorite food stalls, you found one that served big bowls of meat and rice in a spicy, savory sauce. Slurping it down loudly, movement in your periphery caught your eye. You weren’t sure what drew your attention at first until you saw one of Chross’ agents leaping from the building you were examining. 

Chross is tailing me? 

You froze over your now-empty bowl of food, suddenly queasy. There were only two reasons why you’d need a tail: he doesn’t trust you or he assigned them for your protection. As far as you knew Chross had no reason to distrust you.

I’m just an orphan he plucked off the street, why do I matter? 

Standing from the stool you complimented the chef before seeking the refuge of Silco’s power.

The lift jolting to a stop signaled your feet to take you back to the cannery. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath of the fishy pollution, finding a kind of peace in it. It was the smell of home , now. Absentmindedly shuffling into the warehouse a loud whistle caught your attention. Snapping your head in the direction of the sound you found Sevika on the balcony pathway overlooking the bottom floor of the cannery. 

You sighed as you lethargically climbed the stairs to lean on the railing beside her. Her hair wasn’t pulled up and you got a whiff of perfume mixed with her usual smoke and blood scent. 

“Who’s the lucky gal?” You asked slyly, causing Sevika to break out into a mischievous grin.

“Just one of many,” She quipped, studying your face a moment with cold gray eyes before adding, “Something’s eatin' you up inside, kid. Spit it out.” She lit a cigarillo as you examined her face in search of malice. Wringing your hands over the iron banister you prepared your words carefully. 

“I’m just… unsure of my position here.” You offered, looking anywhere but her face.

“I don’t think I’d respect you if you liked being Chross’ collateral.” She mused, flashing her patented cruel smirk. Your eyes shot to hers as she confirmed your suspicions, wide with surprise. Hiding your emotions again you hoped she didn’t just read you like a book.

“You didn’t know, did you?” She said almost teasing, crushing your hopes. You hid your face in your palms in frustration before speaking again. 

“I’m coming to the slow realization that I don’t know shit.” You admitted in defeat. She grunted a short laugh and patted you on the back knocking the wind from you. 

“That’s alright, kid. That’s the first step towards thinking for yourself. Just don’t let Chross see you do it.” She suggested with a wicked glance before taking a long pull on her cigarillo and leaving in a puff of smoke. The buzz of the second-hand nicotine and Sevika’s knowing glance brewed a scheme inside your head.

Information is power, and I have none right now. Someone’s going to give me answers come hell or high water. 

[lululawrence]

lululawrence's September 2021 Fic List

Previous Fic Lists / Lulu’s List Podcast Masterpost

Happy 28th once again! September is nearly at an end, and to celebrate the Larry-versary (or whatever it is about Sept 28 that they seem to love so much), I'm very excited to share the fics I've read this past month with you. They were seriously some top notch fics and some of my favorite fics I've read this year. I tried not to ramble too long in this rec post, but if you are interested in hearing me go into detail about what exactly I enjoyed about these fics, you can find this month's podcast here.

As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation for all of the hard work our fandom authors have put into their fics with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

Know a Trick or Two by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren (44k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, HP AU, MPreg, single mum Harry, single mum Louis, Louis is a famous quidditch player, Harry's a muggle, one night stand, inappropriate use of magic, ot5 friendship, I'm trying to figure out how to explain all of this, lmaoooo, the world-building is super cool and the characters are all amazingly done, I love the friendship and the scenes from the kids' POVs, it was just such a super cool and unique and amazing fic)

Winds Blowing Westerly by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13 (650, G, Niall/Louis, canon compliant, the night after, post-hiatus, it is so short and soft and hazy and the emotions are perfectly on point and wonderfully navigated and how the fuck did she manage to fit all of it into so few words??, i LOVE it)

I Love The Very Blood Of You by @chloehl10 / lovelarry10 (129k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, Vampire AU, Harry is a caretaker for his sick mom, cancer tw! please keep yourself safe, blood donation services for vampires, strangers to lovers, vampire hunters, rogue vampires, forbidden love, vampire/human relationship, like honestly this is such a complex and epic plot and it keeps things moving and the characters keep developing and changing and evolving and the relationships between everyone do too and i loved the various side characters and the way it all worked so perfectly together to have so many various and different peaks when it comes to the conflicts, i would use it as an example in a lit class of the various ways you can have conflicts and peaks that all build up to a larger one and i'm rambling so i'll stop now, just know i loved it lol)

Rising to the Occasion by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13 (4k, G, OT4 friendship, canon compliant, post hiatus, Celebrity Bake-Off, this fic is just as fluffy and silly and wonderful as you would expect a canon compliant fic taking place in the bake-off tent to be, i absolutely adored it and even the end notes are *chef's kiss*)

Hold You Now by @solvetheminourdreams / solvetheminourdreams (131k, M, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, American Harry, British Louis, ex-friends with benefits, closeting, bestie Niall, Harry is a PR rep who used to work at the same firm as Louis, angst, flashbacks, angst with a happy ending, I don't even know how to try to summarize this fic, it had so many emotions all the way from that fizzy feeling of excitement at the beginning of something with someone to the hope of something more to the devastation when it all falls apart and the heart dropping complete pain of realizing they're marrying someone else to the hope of possibility, and every single moment of it feels real, or at least it did to me, this fic was just epically gorgeous and wonderful and wow)

So Much Love Hidden Beneath This Skin by @fallinglikethis / FallingLikeThis (10k, T, Niall/Harry, Heartbreak Weather fic fest, Song Fic, based on Put a Little Love On Me, Ex-BFFs to lovers, closeted character, homophobic and abusive family (only referenced and in the past), hurt/comfort, healing, repairing relationships, this fic is so painful and lovely, the bond between them is so genuine and wonderful and watching them be able to stitch themselves back together again was absolutely wonderful)

Compass to my Soul by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (31k, T, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, A/B/O dynamics, alpha Harry, alpha Liam, beta Zayn, omega Niall, omega Louis, mostly canon compliant, so I guess... canon divergent?, Louis is a part of the band but not their pack, touch depri, forced coming off of stimms, omega drop, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, self confidence issues, use of alpha voice, anxiety & anxiety attacks, I'm not sure that's explicitly what they are but i want to tag it because it's like, legitimately something you should be warned about, it's written in a very visceral way, this fic is my DREAM A/B/O FIC, i waited very long for it to come around and be birthed into the world, and it was somehow even BETTER than i ever anticipated, emmu is magical)

the next bit was spanners to my plan by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13 (6k, T, Nick/Louis, canon compliant, post-hiatus, accidental sex, repeatedly, lmaooooo, banter, texting, talking out feelings, in a stilted and hilarious and very grimmy/louis way, i don't even know what to tell you other than this fic is like a prime example of why i love tomlinshaw fics so very much omg)

eucalyptus by @hershelsue / docklands (46k, E, Harry/Louis, 1D A/B/O fest fic, A/B/O dynamics, single mum Harry, florist Harry, pediatrician Louis, shifters, wolves, pregnant off a one night stand, alpha Louis, omega Harry, this fic is wonderful, the plot is so unique and cool and kept me on my toes because i literally never knew what was going to happen next, and the way it all works out is so so fun too, and the eventual smut is nice and kinky with highlights on the lactation kink and breeding kink so enjoy that too haha)

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.