#the creatives working for them are so fucked dude who gave the rat so much political and economic power

[cicicolorao]

I hope to one day come back to this idea, but I’d love to illustrate the disney princesses in my own style, with some redesigns to some of them, or just adding neat details I think are cool, like elvish attributes. For now, sketches!

[sleepymccoy]

Aziraphale’s demon aspect

As voted by 246 people!

The winner is

Owl

with nearly 26% of the primary vote

many people added in their free form answers that they were imagining a barn owl specifically

Owl was the front runner the whole way through this survey, but most of the time by a very beatable margin. The 40 or so people who voted in the last night really tipped it over, it was a tight race! And the results are crazy split imo, a quarter of votes constitutes a win! I love the different opinions and ideas we all have so so much

Ram/sheep came in a hearty second with 16.5% of the vote

A very regal demon there.

After that it gets a little murky, so I’m going to share the second graph I made when is every animal that got more than 1% of the vote. So it’s the top six animals

Magpie and Lion holding strong! Then Moth and Goat looking very good

The second question let you vote for as many options as you thought were appropriate for Aziraphale! So, there were a lot more write-ins! It’s crazy!

I’m using google sheets so I can’t get it to show you every name, but the raw data will be in a read more so you can scroll through everyone’s beautiful imagination there

Again, Owl winds with a solid 20% of the vote. Ram/Sheep coming in with about 15%, followed by Moth, Magpie, Goat, Lion, then Tortoise.

Tortoise was 11th in the first round, tied with Snake (but pale), and managed to surprise me by coming through so strong in the second. Slow and steady, baby.

Nearly everyone who wrote in about Magpies told me that Magpies hoard stuff, so it’s nice to see the hive mind at work there!

Five people told me they were voting goat because of that one piece of art by @hollow-head​ that shows Aziraphale scaling a bookshelf like goats do cliffs. As an artist myself I found it legitimately moving that this one image had stayed with people so strongly. That’s just beautiful. Here’s an example of just one person’s comment

idk dude i just remember one person posted art of him scaling the bookstore shelves like those goats scale mountains and just eating his clothes while he reads it was so fuckin funny but anyway goat eyes are great or he could have lil stubby horns that r covered by his hair

One moth enthusiast took the time to give me a short essay on their choice of moth. I have included a portion of it, cos it was so great

So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Here’s a flannel moth for everyone

and a poodle moth, which i honestly thought was a hoax but i looked into it just now and it seems legit? There’s not a tonne of proof, but the og pictures are from a scientists who stands by them, so like, wow

And then a DIFFERENT PERSON put this in;

the moth i had in mind is Acherontia atropos, in polish called Zmierzchnica trupia główka (meaning more or less "dusk death's head"). i have a whole symbolism planned out and stuff 

Fucking, moth fandom come through!!

I’m vaguely scared of moths, fun fact. I don’t like the thick thunking sound they make when they hit stuff.

Here is the second round but with all the animals that got four or less votes removed for ease of viewing

the one segment there at 12 o’clock that google hasn’t labeled for me is Swan at 0.9%

I cannot believe I didn’t put swan in as an option, that’s all write-ins

So, to summarise, I suggest you take a lot of this with a grain of salt. It is not meant as an instruction to fandom or to railroad creativity. I have a narrow corner of the Good Omens fandom that I interact with, and while this quiz was up for a week I’m not sure it reached a great variety of people. About 250 folks filled it out, which was tonnes more than I expected and I love each and every one of you for filling it out!! But I have noticed that Owl was first on my list and in the free form answers the example prompt I gave included, “such as a breed of owl that specifically speaks to you,“ so I think it’s possible I did that unknowing bias thing that practiced survey folk know now to do. So, grain of salt.

I also think that if animals like Swan and Cat were in the list of options they’d’ve gotten more votes because the people who voted for those were coming up with it fresh themselves. I suspect people would’ve voted for them, but it just didn’t occur to them in the moment. In much the same way it didn’t occur to me in the moment I was writing this survey.

So people know, I got the ten or so animals that I put in the survey from searching the demon!aziraphale tag on tumblr, so it was all stuff that other people had come up with. I was trying to avoid my own bias, but i think in hindsight i could’ve done better!

Having said all that, this was all so much fun and the results are clear!!! Love a good owl!aziraphale

Imma continue to draw my boy as a ram, though. Cos this was all just for a laugh <3

numbers and a few more things under the cut

So some of these have half a vote ascribed to them. That’s for people who in their freeform answer said things like this;

ngl, that one post about him being a swan still makes me laugh

Mourning Dove. Though that Scallop answer was fucking brilliant

And I kinda made a judgement call that that wasn’t a vote, but it was kind of a vote. So I gave them half a point.

There were a few situations where people would write in a specific species. If I got more than one vote for the root animal I just grouped them together, but if it stayed the only vote then it kept the species. Cat got the most specific species mentioned, and in the second vote Bat had a few species mentioned (albino bat being my fave), but I ended up grouping them all just under Cat and Bat to give them a better chance of getting on the graph. There were probably a few other examples but I can’t think of them. The one exception to this is the person who wrote-in Duolingo Owl specifically. For that one I figured Owl is already pretty solid, and that’s just fucking funny, man

I was also pretty generous about some stuff. So, this person didn’t vote for Moose but they clearly regretted it so I added a vote for Moose in the second one where you could vote for multiples. They kept their Ram and Goat votes, of course, but I added Moose for them

I get very bastard energy from my demon az headcanons. Like f-ing shit up for a laugh more than anything, but otherwise indifferent. That's kinda why I like the ram/sheep/goat thing so much because it reminds me of indifference and random chaos. Or a moose. Shit, I should have written in moose

So yeah, it’s hardly a double blind study that’d stand up to any real criticism, but it was fun and I think the essence of it is fun!! Scroll through and have a read. Imma pull a few more of my fave write-ins and put them down the bottom cos it’s great. Esp the ones that only got one vote, the reasonings were stellar on some of those

Here is the first vote results, where everyone could only vote for one animal each

Owl 63 Ram/Sheep 40 Magpie 28 Lion 26 Moth 21 Goat 17 Swan 4 Eagle 4 Dove 4 Cat 4 Tortoise 3 Snake 3 Scallop 2 Rat 2 Rabbit 2 Mongoose 2 Badger 2 Shima Enaga 1 Shark 1 Porcupine 1 Orangutan 1 Mouse 1 Long Furby 1 Hippopotomaus 1 Goose 1 Duck 1 Dragon 1 Cow 1 Cereberus 1 Boar 1 Bee 1 Bat 1 Alpaca 1

Second Vote results, where everyone could vote for as many as they wanted

Owl1 82 Ram/Sheep 136 Moth 108.5 Magpie 98 Goat 96 Lion 72 Tortoise 61 Snake 37 Eagle 33 Cat 9.5 Swan 7.5 Lizard 4 Rabbit 4 Badger 3 Mongoose 2 Dove 2 Mouse 2 Squirrel 2 Bear 2 Raccoon 2 Capybara 2 Dragon 2 Bat 1 Long Furby 1 Rat 1 Boar 1 Goose 1 Peacock 1 Pangolin 1 Lindworm 1 Moose 1 Chinchilla 1 Duolingo Owl 1 Cackatoo 1 Crow 1 Cow 1 Alpaca 1  Dodo 1 Shark 1 Big Dog 1 Snow Leopard 1 Scallop 0.5

All voting was optional. To help explain how scallop lost 1.5 votes from first to second, I believe the people who voted for it in the first question just skipped the second cos they’d said their bit.

In terms of how many people engaged with the questions, Q1 had 245 answers and one skip. Q2 had 241 answers and 5 skips, and Q3 where I just let people talk at me if they wanted to had 84 answers and 162 skips.

So please enjoy my selection of free form answers. They all made me smile but putting all 84 in seems excessive to me, so I’ve chosen the ones that are either full blown mini essays or that make me laugh. It’s still a lot, this project brought me so much joy

-

Shima enaga - It's the hair man

Cow (aka golden calf)

Scallop. He is a snack.

Swan. Elegant but very capable of fscking you up. Mates for life.

basically anything that is both gentle in nature and fiercely loyal, territorial and protective (but prone to anxiety). Also hedonistic esp. with food. For all of these reasons, I think a dog would be the best choice.

Dragon with his hoard of books

it’s about the teeth. just too sharp and too many to be human. (comment from op here, this person voted for shark, just for context)

Turkish Angora cat. Magnificently fluffy, incredibly intelligent, love heights and will jump off crazy high things and land on your head, gloriously dignified until they see a string and run into a wall, love one or maybe two persons to distraction and want everyone else to fuck off, will drape themselves over their person’s shoulders and go to sleep, range from “will jump in the sea to hunt fish and has a murder pit full of seagulls they’ve massacred” to “will fall over at the sight of a baby bird”, very particular about food and will yell at you if you get it wrong. Also the breed that some asshole took three cats from and bred parent to child to make Persians. The cautionary tale has been acknowledged and we love our crazy smart, single braincelled children.

I usually imagine him as an owl because they are nocturnal (and we know that Aziraphale can easily stay awake the whole night reading). Also the image of an owl puffed up is kind of ridiculous and reminds me of him, of how an annoyed Aziraphale would look. However the options above have made me think that a lion would suit him very well, too. A lion or just a very BIG cat. I mean, he makes pleading eyes to get what he wants, likes to be confortable, is a bit of a bastard and often puts himself in awkward situations from which he needs to be rescued. He just... acts very cat-like in my opinion. Also owls and cats are both predators, but are usually imagined (or, at least cats are) as cute little creatures, just like Aziraphale is an Angel of the Lord (a Warrior, actually) but looks all soft and cute and huggable. I dunno. Maybe I just want to pet an Aziracat.

I love all the other people's thoughts about demon!Aziraphale, but what about the honey badger? I try to explain why I have it in mind for demon!azi: its name (I think it's funny, expecially in English because 'honey' can make you imagine it's something sweet (it is for me), while the 'bad' in badger can be an alarm bell (like 'be careful! It is not like it seems!')); its face (ok, who can say its face isn't cute? I think, and hope, nobody can, and like the name, it is a misunderstanding: as always, be careful, it's not like it seems!, I think demons can say something about demon!azi as like "you don't seem like a 'good' demon, you can't be, your face (animal and human) is too f-ing disgusting sweet to be a demon!", I think maybe even angel!crowley, at the beginning, can think something like this ("how in the world somebody so cute like you can be a demon?"), then he discovered how demon!azi can be a very talented demon sometimes, but in Crowley's mind azi is still his little cutie angry furry); its furry's colour (black=demon, white/grey/silver/idkitsname= color of demon!azi's wings, because even if he fell, I can't say no to his white wings 😭); it is a snake's predator (and in my mind angel!crowley is still a snake); its solitary life (demon!aziraphale is alone and he doesn't mind it, unless it's angel!crowley we're talking about, then our cute demon minds it); its behaviour (demon!azi, even if he's cute, can be a really very talented demon: honey badger is fearless and dangerous, it can fight bigger animals if there aren't other chances and it can't escape); its skin is very tough (except for a soft/safe spot, behind its neck if I remember well, that only angel!Crowley knows and sometimes he uses it to calm demon!azi down or make azi do some good deeds); its diet (it has a sweet-thooth, for honey in primis, but it can eat everything it wants... Doesn't it resemble demon!azi?); it's smart (search for Stoffle on your browser if you don't know)... Ok,I think I finish, sorry for the novel 😅

I tend to think of animals that meet three criteria: (1) they exemplify “faults” in his character exaggerated to “sins”—gluttony, greed/hoarding, sloth, (2) they are species that favor fawning or flight as a defense mechanism but can also be bold on occasion, and (3) blend very well or have a keen affinity with human society, specifically thriving in urban (i.e., city) environments. This is mostly because I can’t see “Aziraphale” in a reverse AU that doesn’t preserve some of his core traits as an angel (a little hedonistic, hoarding, anxious, etc.). So I like city-dwelling bastard animals with bonus points for relation to scripture, like a rock dove or a fox or an owl.

Owls aren't  smart, and the pedant in me says not an owl. But, thinking on it, demon aspect, owls are perceived as smart, but designed as deadly silent predators, patient and solitary. So actually demon Aziraphale could take on more owlish aspects. I just like cockatoo better, since they are smart, and showy. Or a crow, although that does amusing things with Crowleys name.

god imagining him as a chimera is !!! (comment from op, there was this odd flurry of mythical animals being voted for one night. i think the survey hit a corner of fandom that leans that way. there was also dragon, another chimera, a griffon, and a lindworm all at the same rough time)

Magpies are great because they’re cute and fluff themselves up (go look at Sophie the magpie) and like hoarding their favorite things but also I’ve watched one just straight up kill another bird before because corvids are sneaky little bastards with no lack of a mean streak if they’re crossed

It’s the duolingo owl, I’m so sorry op but it just is. I genuinely don’t mean to clown on your post, but this take was delivered to me in a sleep induced haze and I believe it’s the god given truth. Demon Aziraphale WOULD try to make you learn a dead language and he’d go about it in a vaguely threatening way (comment from op, you’re so fucking right dude. also, shit like this is made for clowning, i’m with you 100%)

When choosing a demon aspect for a Aziraphale, I usually tried to keep in mind the artistic tradition of which animals are linked with demons. The Good Omens team seems to have drawn inspiration from that source because all the animals we do see are either reptilian or insectoid. Those species were often shown inhabiting hellish landscapes in Renaissance and Baroque paintings. However, Aziraphale never struck me as cold or slimy or hard like an exoskeleton. So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Ok so the only reason I pick magpie is because those bastards are smart as hell but also know how and when to inconvenience the shit out of you, and if you gain their trust then they're absolute darlings but if they decide "nah, dont like ya" then you're basically done and you'll wake up every morning with shit on your car window. I also chose sheep/ram cuz I mean... idk it suits him. I don't remember my other choice but I'm sure I had a good reason.

I feel like a barn owl would suit him well but I'm not really sure why, I also think that a moth would suit him really well because of the whole "moth to a flame" thing and as a demon he would have gotten burned because of that attitude.

I write a reverse AU fic called Lambs to the Slaughter where Aziraphale's demonic aspect is an albino sheep! I imagine him as a mix between a wild Argali ram and the first woolly domestics. I chose an Argali because they're the largest species of wild sheep, but I wanted him to have traits of a domestic breed because he obtains his animal aspect from a sheep in Abel's flock which would be several generations down from the original wild species in Eden. I really think a sheep suits Aziraphale! They're an incredibly common animal and have been since they were first domesticated. Likewise, since the start of human history, Aziraphale has been living side-by-side with humans, providing for them, and protecting them. Due to how common they are, sheep are often unnoticed, which Aziraphale leans into. Crowley wants to stand out. He has a dedicated aesthetic and an obsession with human invention, where Aziraphale leans more towards simpler, known things and creature comforts. He fades into the background, and that suits him fine. He doesn't have to be outstanding to Heaven or to humans or even to Crowley -- it's enough to do his part, to trust in a bigger plan. People associate sheep (especially lambs) with innocence or ignorance which foils nicely to Crowley as the serpent tempting with knowledge, as well as with Aziraphale's own sharp mind and ongoing embers of faith in a system that is failing him, Crowley, and all of humanity. Sheep are, like Aziraphale, soft, cute, and hiding a hard-headed stubbornness and a surprising strength that makes them absolutely fearsome. Aziraphale is very much the sort to put his head down and push relentlessly forward regardless of the pressure and strain. Rams in particular have thick skulls to withstand the brutal force of headbutting one another in displays of dominance. While Aziraphale is clever, he's not above rolling up his sleeves and getting the job done, as messy and unpleasant as it might be (see: pulling a gun on the Antichrist). Also sheep are associated with Pan, a god associated with food, music, theatre, and the criticism thereof, which hit many of Aziraphale's personal interests and hobbies! I like the idea that in a reverse AU, the demon formerly named Aziraphale might be the original basis for Pan!

I wrote in Orangutan for the first question because if I remember correctly they are some of the most violent apes. Although I'd accept bonobo for him too. They fuck alll the time.

mothman aziraphale,,,,, thats it

Snowy owl, speremint's tortoise, and I just adore the goat.

moth - dusty and eats books

Long Furby the way Loni-Capri draws it.

I keep thinking about that Black Philip quote "doest thou wish to live deliciously" because... it fits so much with the general epicurean/hedonism vibe the Fandom has for him ... but in a demonic way and also I think a lot abt that art piece (already referenced many times probably but what the hell) of him climbing his own bookshelves, it's just so good!!

Albino Lion/white lion (matches his hair).  I feel like maybe I should explain why I think Lion would fit him best, lol. Lions actually are rather sedate, inactive for 20 hours of the day (see: Aziraphale reading and unmoving- yes I pulled wiki for this to make sure I didn't spout anything terribly wrong, shhh)  but also there's nomad lions. Lions that range widely and move around sporadically either alone or in pairs (*looks at Crowley after apoconope*) (pairs are more frequent among males who have been excluded from their birth pride)  but also I think of lions as protectors, defenders, and what is Aziraphale if not that? If not an angel who fiercely protects humans, crowley, earth? (When he finally overcomes heaven and it's abuse) lions don't hunt unless they're hungry, don't attack unless they're defending. They've been known to sit directly next to jeeps full of people and just watch them, not attacking or being aggresive.

I saw art once (I have no idea who the artist is) of Demon!Aziraphale climbing his bookcases like a goat and absentmindedly chewing on his sweater while he reads. I felt like the goat aspect suited him perfectly.

Honestly I wrote Az with a rat aspect because, well, it fits who I see demon Az as. He's not super powerful but he is very consequential, like rats carrying plague fleas (this also describes how I see Az tempting). He tries to blend into a crowd, which is arguably one way rats survive, and can get himself into places/situations that should be impossible or super difficult. Like snakes, rats have been unfairly maligned by our culture for a long time, even though they are very social with their colonies, smart, affectionate, and generally good beans. Finally, male pet rats are known far and wide as the lazier of the sexes while the girls are super curious and adventurous.

Somehow his tartan pattern becomes either his colour scheme or his coat/feather pattern.

Eurasian eagle owl. A big, unapologetic grump of an owl that is soft as soft can be underneath. Possessor of the glare to end all glares to be used in such dire situations as being interrupted when reading or being told one has "had enough cake".

[losersclubimagines]

the coroner’s girl

[the losers club x reader]

warnings: swearing, bullying, blood and body parts.

summary: being the coroner’s daughter means dressing practically rather than flatteringly, carrying your father’s blood samples in your schoolbag, and having maybe too much of an avid interest in human anatomy for your classmates’ tates. you’re an outcast - a loser, something you had always been and been pretty okay with, until the last day of school in 1985, when greta bowie gets a little too familiar with the things you carry in your backpack.

request here

Being a coroner's daughter was never going to be easy.

It was like being the daughter of the exterminator that came to rid your school of rats or termites; nothing inherently bad about it - it was an honest profession, all right - but goddamn embarrassing.

But you knew that. You'd known that since second grade when the teacher said your class had to go around the circle and everybody said what their parents did for a living. There were four temps, one dentist, one taxi driver, a receptionist and a cashier before you proudly said, "my dad examines dead people to see how they died!"

Your teacher had thought it was interesting. Your classmates, not so much. They thought you were dirty. Most of them didn't touch you, if they could help it. You had your own special brand of cooties, creatively named 'The Y/n Touch" that the others would pass and tease each other with at recess and lunch in games you couldn't participate in. Well, fine. They'd decided you were to be an outcast, you'd do just that.

You stopped really trying in third grade. Stopped putting your hair in curlers every night and teasing it with hairspray every morning like the others, stopped dressing fashionably and started dressing practically, stopped trying to fit in at all. A lot of girls talked about lipstick or boys or singers, or else music you'd never heard of and movies you'd never watched. The boys talked about girls and soccer and bikes, or else books you'd never read or bands you'd never listened to. You didn't fit in with anyone else's conversation - you knew hearts and brains and lungs, vessels and arteries and veins, homeostasis and rigor mortis and symptoms of asphyxiation. But when you tried to talk about that, all you got was disgusted or scandalised looks, so you stopped. You kept to yourself.

All through third grade to eighth grade, the closest thing you had to a friend were our various biology teachers throughout the years. You were hopeless at the other sciences, barely passing, and mediocre at everything else, but your biology always came back with a fat shiny A on every report card.

It was the last day of school before summer in 1985. Before you'd gone to school, your dad had passed you three plastic sample jars, half-full of blood. At your raised eyebrows, he grew defensive.

"The refrigerator's stocked again!"

"Maybe it wouldn't be if you did your job like every other coroner in America and stopped-"

"Yes, I know, I know," he interrupted, looking badgered. "Can you just ask your friend in the prep room to store them, just for a day? I'll have the refrigerator cleared out by then."

"Fine." You checked the lids were done up tightly then stuffed the jars in your satchel. "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, go, you'll be late. Don't go throwing your bag around now, those jars are done up tight but they'll burst with pressure."

"Got it," you called, moving to the front door.

"In the fridge as soon as you get to school!" he shouted from the cellar. "As soon as!"

You shut the door in reply, disgruntled.

You did as bid, making your way to the science prep room before class and sweet-talking Mr Keary into letting you store the samples in the huge refrigerator. They kept the stuff used for dissecting in there - sheep hearts and frogs and pig brains. Needless to say, you'd aced that particular section of biology. A scalpel was so familiar in your hand by now, it felt like an extension of your fingers.

They stayed there throughout the day. It grew hotter and hotter, but you kept all your layers on - black jeans cuffed to keep them from trailing on your battered sneakers, a charcoal-grey shirt of your father's that hung to your thighs and a soft, woolly, dark green cardigan that swung about your calves. You liked the comfort that layers of clothes gave you - like wearing multiple plates of armour. The day passed as usual - you ad no biology class, so you spoke to barely anyone and barely anyone spoke to you, you kept your head down and ate lunch alone and doodled in every class until the final bell rang. Great. Okay. Finally.

You swung by the prep room and grabbed your father's samples, placing them carefully in your backpack, ensuring they were cushioned by your pencil case and textbooks before hefting the bag onto one shoulder and making the trek to the front exit.

You were literally twenty feet from the door when it happened.

Greta Bowie stormed out of her history class with a dark expression on her face, evidently having to be held back to be lectured by her teacher. Her mean eyes flickered over the corridor for someone to take her anger out on, and, most unfortunately, they landed on you. You didn't even notice her until her shoulder collided hard with yours, and your bag slipped from your shoulder and sailed through the air, hitting the linoleum hard and skidding away. As you stumbled, Greta hooked an ankle around your's and sent you flying backwards.

"Sorry, Y/n!" she called, sweet as sugar. Sweet as fucking diabetes, you thought to yourself furiously as you reached for your bag - only to draw back in surprise and dread. A large, dark, sticky stain was spreading rapidly through the fabric. You tore your bag open, pleading with God that it wasn't so - but of course it was. The samples your dad had entrusted you with, that you'd chilled all day and packed so carefully in your bag - had burst on impact, and now two were all but empty, and the third was drooling blood slowly, it'd lid knocked to the side rather than all the way off.

"Shit!" you shouted, jumping up, your hands flying to your hair to grab it in despair. "Fuck it all, shit on it you bitch!" Before you even realised what you were doing, you'd lunged at the retreating Greta and shoved her in the back. Hard. So hard she flew into the lockers and slammed her head on the metal.

She yelled in pain, spinning round to look at you. The whole corridor was raptly focused on the two of you, Greta furious and red-faced, a bleeding split on her forehead where she'd grazed a padlock, and you, realising what you'd just done with your eyes widening and your feet beginning to retreat.

"You are so fucking dead!"

Greta ran right at you, her arms catching you in the midriff and knocking you back several paces. You gasped as your back slammed into the floor, hard, and Greta seized a handful of your hair, yanked your head up, and slammed it back down again. You wheezed and whimpered, trying to push and scratch to no avail, and Greta straddled you, her fist raised, ready to punch-

Your left hand closed over something cylindrical, smooth and vaguely wet and warm. As quick as you could, even as Greta drew back her fist, you whipped the lid off the last jar of blood, brought it out from the depths of your bag and tossed what was left of the sample square into Greta's snarling face.

She shrieked like a banshee, rearing back and gagging, and you took the opportunity to throw her off your body. You sprang to your feet, stumbling only a little as Greta retched and choked, groping for you blindly with red in her eyes. You took of running, pausing only to pick up your soaking red bag on the way, slamming through the double-doors at the end of the corridor.

You jumped down the steps double-time, jumping at the end and staggering as you hit the floor, then you ran again. In your haste you charged straight through a group of four boys making their way leisurely down the path. You knocked into two of them heavily, felt them stagger.

"What the fuck, dude?" someone called after you furiously, and you turned your head, still running, to look back at them.

"Sorry!" you yelled hoarsely, tearing out the front gate and out of sight.

"Fuckin' weirdo," mumbled Richie Tozier to Bill Denbrough, who was bending down to help Eddie stand after that girl had barged into them. Richie hauled Stan, who had also fallen, to his feet and clapped him on the shoulder, before picking something up off the ground.

"Stan my man, you dropped your yokefellow!" Richie told Stan cheerfully, holding a brimless cap up with a flourish.

"Yarmulke," Stan corrected tiredly, snatching it back.

"Bless you."

"E-Eddie, I think that g-g-girl left a suh-suh-stain on your sh-shirt just now," Bill interrupted demurely.

"Is that fucking blood?" Eddie squeaked, his eyes widening in horror.

"What the fuh-fuh-fuck?" Bill laughed.

"Maybe it was that time of the month," Richie said wisely.

"Buh-beep beep, Richie."

Richie looked seriously at Eddie, who was frantically scrubbing at the dark red patch on his perfect pink shirt. "Werewolves," he told the littler boy sagely.

"Shut up, Richie!" all three of the boys said together, as they crossed through the front gate, making for the Barrens.

——

a/n: just a lil something to get my creativity going while i work on requests. let me know if you want to be tagged in coming parts!! i’m thinking there will be at least two more <3

[chngbok]

I hit 2k a while ago now 2.2k im terrible and I never said thank you!! I didn’t want to open requests again as I’m terrible with following through on them so!! I settled with saying thank you to those who I’ve really come to appreciate + love ♥

@linos-teeth

someone who words just don't do justice (teeth fetishist might work).  you’ve been there longer than anyone and followed me through my many many different phases + blogs and that was all thanks for dai fucking up just a little bit (the one time I’ll thank a buggy game Bioware I owe you my life). you’re there for me whenever I wanna talk about shit, be it me complaining or me ranting (and more complaining) OR us taking a stupid one-liner from woojin and turning it into a 50 chapter long fic that’s 6 months old now!! we built a little home on discord with our all too fancy server for just the two of us, but dude your my best friend and I love you + all the weird shit that happens + all the fucking things we’ve made together. you’ve seen me at my worst and you were there when I lost others so,,, I know I say it a lot but!! I love you!! you’re my world and you meana lot to me!! you’re my best browse ~

@changbiinnbutspookier

Kirra, my idiot, my bitch, my rat, my Minecraft girlfriend. you’re an absolute dick but you mean well. You’ve made me laugh a whole lot and that means a lot because I’m normally alone a lot of the time,,, but calling with u almost all summer (literally) was amazing + we were talking most of the day and it gave me a lot to do and we fucking watched ooos which,,, im still getting over btw + that just,,,,,,,,,,, was a fuck fest tbh. You’re silly and fun but you’re also super good at? expressing ur words,,, n u know when to be serious and u care a whole lot about a bunch of things and u take 0 shit from people and all that's really good and cool and just? you’re a very like,,,, functional idiot who I love a lot ok. and I know i legit never say it bc 1) u don't give me a chance with all fo the kissy noises and 2) Im a shit friend and scared to say that stuff out loud but!! I do!! i cherish you a lot and you made me really happy this summer so!! thank you. 

@hauntedfelix

luna!! my angel!!!! you are a literal guardian angel please dont fight me on this for once.  It’s really? shocking to see how close we’ve gotten so quickly and I don't know,,, I know im a pretty open person but you’re one of the easiest people to talk to. you’ve let me talk about shit and it’s helped a lot and we have a lot of fun + ur really cute >:c *ok the rest of this is written after the thing oops* but!! to continue,,, u know how much u mean to me now lmao. you always keep me thinking ‘straight’ + know when to tell me that I’m being a lil stupid + u just have all these cute lil things u do!! (like ur folder of me being stupid,,,, cute shit) I’ve said a lot to you recently s o i dont wanna start sounding to repetative and I DO NOT wanna count how many times i said cute just now i d k. but you’re my shining star 🌙🧡☀️👭 you mean a lot to me and I’m glad we have eachother.

@glowsvt

Grace!! my sweet starlight, the nations wonderful, caring and ‘patient’, gaurdian angel. now I’m really shit with words compared to you,, it’s pretty obvious looking at this post,,, so I’m sorry for not being able to express how I feel very well!! but!! you!!! are so damn sweet and supportive. You have so much love to give and I’m just happy that I can be around to see and receive some of it. you have such a way with words and its really nice to see that you use them in such wonderful ways. You take every chance you get to make someone feel better and you’re always there for me when I’m pissed or in need of cheering up. You’re such a thoughtful person and I only wish you’d see, that you too, are worthy of all that you give out. You’re even willing to help me with my korean which is really really nice as I’m super slow to learn (oops) but!! u just want to do the best for everyone you love n thats super nice to see!! I love u a whole lot ok!! you’re amazing.

and also thank you to my other friends that I dont speak to as much as I’d like to!! @littlefallenrebel Sophie, it’s almost been a year since we’ve been friends and thats legit crazy. You were one of the first friends I made when starting to make gifs and all that so thank you for putting up with me this long. You’re really good with your art, even if u dont see that!! + I’ll never get over the changbin u did for my birthday. You’re funny + have a thing for small rappers + ur the kindest when it comes to letting me spill things so thank u!. @seungjin-chan Blake!! my writer friend,,,, I seriously admire your writing (apart from the unreadable chapter in cherry and peter + but I KNOW THATS STILL WELL WRITTEN FROM FRIENDS OK) u rly try so much with your writing and seeing u doubt urself is SILLY bc UR AN AMAZING WRITER and all ur aus are so creative and cute + all the little details are amazing.... also ur reaction memes are iconic and I always know what you’ll react to me stupidity with + u always wanna hear about my aus which like!! thank u ur my outlet + spoiler partner SKU GUYS @hoodiehan @00hj @kkvmi + @glowsvt , @hauntedfelix again!! u guys!! u make keeping up with skz + the great anons fun. you all do so much work and I’m really glad that Stay have u guys doing the most for them!! even with how busy u all are + everyone on sku that I dont talk to as much (you all do the best and it’s again, wonderful to see u all helping stay + trying to help with how chaotic skz are)

and now!! (it’s almost over I promise) a tiny follow forever.

NATRUALLY!! everyone already mentioned!! + (I’ll only do the skz blogs I follow + love a whole lot :c )

@realstraykids @devilhan @arqueritefrost @hanjisungz @mirror-mv @ifbin @skzleton @seungminsmile @bhubblemilk @abcdskz @seoschangbin @vampirewoojinnie @bamgchan @kittylixie @skzulls @chimneycloud @stray-kids @bellzy-loves-skz @hauntjin @prodskz

[iesorno]

We spoke to Adam a little while ago about his influences and inspirations and found his answers intriguing, so we decided to dive in and dig a bit deeper. We just kept on going with it all until we ended up with a mammoth interview going into every corner of his mind, from practice and accessing his creativity, to grafting to make a living outside of the norms of the mainstream.

I think it’s a fascinating look into the practice, experiences and the will to succeed that powers Adam, as well as a window into the wider world of underground creators.

WARNING – GORE and some SEX

You can find Adam here

webstore                youtube                facebook

  ZL – Hi Adam! Thanx for agreeing to this interview, hope you enjoy it. 

Let’s get introductions out of the way. For anyone that doesn’t know, can you tell us your name, where you grew up and where you currently live?

AY – My name is Mr. Adam Yeater. I grew up a swamp rat in Florida and traveled around a lot. I finally settled down in Arizona as a desert rat. I went from one Florida to another. 

ZL – For a little bit more background. You clearly enjoy underground and mini comix, so how did you first find out about them and what were you interested in before you started reading them?

AY – I discovered zines through the early Death/Grind Metal scene in the 90s. There was no internet so everything was done via snail mail. I used to get so much great printed matter. Demo tapes, fliers for bands, albums and review zines. I eventually started my own zine called Subliminal Message. We lived in Ohio in a shit hole little town. Trying to get high, fighting, reading comic books, listening to Metal, Punk Rock, Hardcore Rap and skateboarding.

I was a very industrious broke ass 14 year old kid. I found a way to get some of the mainstream metal record companies to send me promo stuff for their bands for review. I was getting stacks of stuff in the mail. The record companies were mailing backstage passes to me! My mom thought I was running a mail scam.

I once did a phone interview with Chris Barnes when he was in Cannibal Corpse. Chris called for an interview and my mom picked up the phone. He was like “Are you a fucking kid? Holy shit! I usually do interviews with old dudes?” We talked for an hour and half about Metallica selling out. It was amazing. I idolized these weirdos and was getting to just hang out with them. 

I did an interview with Cro-Mags right when the original singer got out of prison. I did an interview with Entombed for my high school newspaper! I even interviewed the Goo Goo Dolls when they were on Metalblade Records just for the hell of it. Those metal bands were my heroes. They treated me as an equal and I was this punk kid. They all encouraged me to keep at it. I was getting first hand knowledge of trying to make a living as a creative in American society from them. The good and bad. 

ZL – What did it feel like the first time you ever spoke to one of your heroes? It must have felt pretty excellent, right?

AY – It was awesome talking to those bands, it was a real rush. I would get so nervous. I got to hang with some of the bands before and after the shows. All these dudes just embraced me as one of them. I am super tall, so I looked a lot older than I was. I was also a big nerd for the metal scene so I was turning them onto all this other new stuff I was getting. I think they saw me as an oddity. Then we moved to Tucson where there was no metal scene. 

ZL – Is that why you stopped making your zine then, moving to Tucson?

AY – Yeah, moving from Ohio to Arizona. The scene was pretty lame in AZ. No bands would come through Tucson at the time. So I ditched the ‘zine and started a Grindcore band with some friends. We did pretty well for a local death metal act. We played shows with Napalm Death and smoked a ton of weed with Sadistic Intent, that was cool. 

Lots of drugs and drama, bandmates stealing from each other. . . even more drugs. It was a very fucked up time in my life that I am happy to have survived. 

ZL – At what point did you get back into zines and start to think that self-publishing comics was something you could do or that you were good at and wanted to do more with, to just keep going and going and see how far you could take it?

AY – After the band and metal zine I started printing my own mini comics and comic books. I really got into self publishing and art because I had nothing else really. My last “legit” job was as a janitor before I decided to do art and publish full time. I figured I would rather starve as an artist than starve scrubbing shit off toilets. Art is the only thing I have ever been really good at. So I just keep doing it. 

ZL – Circling back to get a bit more from your background for a minute, what first turned you into a comic reader and from there, did you move to be a collector or fan, if that distinction makes sense!! And where in all of that did you start making your own comics?

AY- I was into comics a lot when I was young as a collector and fan before I moved into extreme music. I was keeping up with the medium but was focused on the death metal band I was in.

After the band. I was doing paintings and fine art for quite a while. I had also done comics on the side but my fine art was doing well. Then the housing market crashed and nobody was buying art for foreclosed homes. 

Luckily I had been doing an extreme comic strip in the metal ‘zines and in the mini comics I was doing. I saw that a local comic convention had started. So I printed them all up and booked a table. I sold out of my first printing and a bunch of art. That is when One Last Day started. 

ZL – How did that feel, selling out of books like that? I’m guessing it must have been quite a boost as you carried on and set up an online store! What was the convention like, if you remember at all, did you have a good time there chatting and meeting fans and creators? A lot of people talk about how much the community at a convention matters to them, was that important to you at the time?

AY – It was a real boost. From that little bit of seed money I have been able to keep the ball rolling and have kept printing comics ever since. The comics scene in Tucson in the early 90s was really small and bare bones. It was me and like 2 other indie guys actively printing their own comics. I have encouraged and fostered so many people to make their own comics since then. Many writers and artists from the Tucson scene are now in the mainstream and indie comics system. 

The couple who started the Tucson Comic Con have been the best thing for our local comix and art scene. Rather than neglecting local and indie comics they embraced and promoted them. I was so lucky to be in a place where the local comic convention focused heavily on independent comic artists. 

I see kids that I taught inking classes to that are now publishing their comics on Amazon. Kids that now give me their books and thank me for all the support and inspiration I gave them. It is humbling. Before the ‘rona I was leaving 1000s of mini comics all over town instead of fliers for the last 15 years. It has exposed people in this town and state to my art and a world of comic books they never knew existed. 

ZL – Speaking of coronavirus, I’m wondering how much that has affected your income currently? Do you rely heavily on con sales or do you have a whole set of ways to get sales, which is a terrible way of asking that I’m really interested in how you generate sales for your work, what venues and sources and what sort of percentage of sales comes from them. Have you got a regular set of fans that buy everything, are you using email communications, just facebook?

AY – In today’s art and comics world every successful artist has to be a little bit Andy Worhol and a lot of P. T. Barnum. Otherwise nobody will give a shit about you. So I have a ton of different ways to move my stuff. The website is my main hub but I do small zine fests and shows whenever I can. I have been doing OK but had to switch gears during the crisis. My online sales picked up so that helped a lot. I also have new books coming out all this year. I think that helps too.

Comic conventions at one time were a really good source of income when I first started doing them. I was making great money. Every year it has become progressively less of a viable option for creators like me. The big comic shows are just pop culture festivals. The last few years a lot of the larger shows could care less about indie comics. Table prices and entry fees are way too high for a self publisher or upcoming creator to make any money. Especially out of state shows. Hotel, travel, etc. Because of this I was only doing smaller zine/comic shows and focusing on my online sales already. The virus was a great reason to really focus on my online presence. 

ZL – I first saw your work through a facebook group, one of the indie comics groups that sort of specializes in small press superhero and space operas, and I was wondering whether you think those groups help the creators reach more readers, or whether they are all more community pages as in it’s all people that want to make comics and they’re all working to support their own bubbles? (Obviously I’m exaggerating a little, they often have horror and then there’s oddball work that pops up, but there do seem to be a lot of big boob bad girls and massive muscles in some kind of genre thing. )

AY- I look at social media differently than most. I talk shit about comics on it but I have never used it as a political soapbox or a place to talk about my “personal journey”. I post my art and comix. That is it. I speak through my art. I like to “post and ghost”. I feel I am a healthier person for it. 

This year I have slowly been taking my art off all the platforms. They are not an unbiased purveyor of ideas. Like the original internet was intended for. Social media is making us all sick. Scientifically proven sick. 

I have grown to hate the self imposed censorship imposed on social media by advertisers and cancel culture. We as artists should have the right to dictate our expression by taking risks. Without having to worry about some simp nerd in Silicon Valley shadow banning or blacklisting us. 

These leeches profit heavily on ALL of us. Especially artists. They work to infringe on our rights and hinder our freedom to express. The platforms are privatizing our existence. Fakebook and the Twits are just digital emotional vampires. 

They should be paying you a fee to use your content and sell it to their stupid advertisers. They make billions off you and you know what you get, a little dopamine for that “like”. Wow, sweet trade off. Not!!

We all need to stand up in some way as artists. Post fucked up art and weird shit all the time! I wanna see a sea of artistically drawn dicks and vaginas. Shitposts, and fucked up memes on my “news” feed. Random acts of artistic defiance. We need confrontational art more now than ever! I want to see original artwork that pushes against cultural dogmas and shitty societal norms. 

Instead I see oceans of fan art and trash pop culture mashups. Useless e-rage and cat pics. Art without confrontation is just advertising at this point. 

ZL – Now, that’s an interesting one, because there are two sides to the argument on this and I sort of flop wildly between the two without any great reason. I can see why social media is not going to allow seas of dicks – they are easy triggers to SEE, so they’re easy to switch off to maintain acceptability, it seems pointless to me, but is important to a lot of people, so… There’s also the issue of managing genuine freedom to express and people posting images of tentacles raping 6 year old girls and how you manage to monitor that, so it’s just EASIER not to try and figure it and blanket ban it all. 

What I think calls bullshit on their motives for me is that they’ll censor that, but allow neo-nazi lies or channels where people openly spout homophobic, racist or sexist bile. There’s a stinking dichotomy there that calls a lie to their talk of community and keeping us safe from damaging content. 

I certainly wouldn’t want to have to be the poor sod that sifted through all of this stuff to check it though!

Pippa Creme and the Pearl Necklace – Dexter Cockburn

Equally, with work like yours or – to call in someone else I follow who is always getting bumped from facebook – Dexter Cockburn – who does some great porn comics. I see these things as being completely ok and not deserving of banning, but seeing cape comics and how innately sexualised and soft porn like the women are made to look, that makes me feel very dubious, it seems wrong in that context, as it’s so pervasive and so unspoken and clandestine. 

AY – Exactly. It is weird how the mainstream sexulizes it’s heroes. The guys look just as bad. It is a form of repressed erotica. I think it all looks so funny. Balloon shaped breasts or the massive man bulge. There is a big market for that stuff so more power to them. 

It just seems erotica in comix is ok for some and not others. The censorship online is selective. Dexter is a comix friend of mine and a great example. The guidelines are so ambiguous and filled with jargon it becomes nonsense. 

I totally get censorship for criminal reasons. That is a no brainer. What I saw was not that. 

I saw the platforms actively destroy the online followings of some extreme horror artist’s I was following. Some of us had built large fan bases on Myspace and brought our fans over to FB with us. When FB started shutting accounts down it crushed a lot of those artist’s online communities and sales. A lot of artists had to start all new accounts with different names causing them to lose 1000s of followers. Some just gave up or stopped posting extreme art all together. They are still doing it to some of the Ero Goro artists from Japan. It is really fucked up.

ZL – That’s part of the curse and benefit of social media though, they give and then they take away when you’ve made them successful. I do wonder what we can do about that though, maybe they should migrate back to Myspace, maybe the whole retreat to mailing lists is the answer? I don’t know, we need community spaces but we need them to not go dark and end up being hiding places for crime or the dark web. What do you do about it, eh? Maybe you should start curating work into new mail lists and have link sites for different peoples’ interests!!

AY – I like that idea. I have always wanted to do a monthly brochure of underground creators. Like a double sided mailer. I might do one for the Smalll Press Express to hand out at shows. Getting the word out is why I do the YouTube channel. Nobody is shedding light on the best part of comics. The odd, voiceless, strange and marginalized. I think anything that promotes the underground scene and unites indy comic artists is good. I feel every little thing helps. We are all in this sinking ship together. The mainstream comics people keep poking holes in the boat. The indy creators have to keep bailing it out.

ZL – Moving on from that unanswerable conundrum… Is community important to you and comics? Is publishing and buying and communicating with other creators a way of building a place in the wider world for the kinds of things that you enjoy and the kind of things you want to make?

AY – What community. The comics community? 

It just saddens me so much lately. The internet and social media had so much potential to dissolve physical, cultural and social boundaries to our communication around the world. 

Instead most people have developed the attention span of a gnat. I doubt anyone will actually read all this. So I am just gonna lay it all out. How I see it as an outsider looking in.

There is a massive world of art and comics that is ignored in the west. It is where I exist as a creative. I work with toy making friends in South Korea and send comix pages to Artizines in Spain. Send instant messages to slap sticker artists in Japan. All in a few seconds!! This used to take weeks, even months via phone and mail. Many here just take this shit for granted. 

I had a “stick poke” tattooist from Taiwan ask if she could use one of my mini comic images in her little shop. How sick is that!! I live for that!!

I have worked with 100s of the most creative and amazing artists from all over the world. I have had enough love and inspiration from the global art community to last me two life times!!

  The American comics community is a weird story. My books sell well. My fans are awesome. First time readers always come back. I do really well at every comic convention I have ever done, even small ones. I have printed, sold or given away thousands of my mini-comics, floppies and magazines. All over this crazy earth. 

Somehow I have largely existed as an outsider in Western comics. Other than a few supportive cats in the southwest comics scene like Brian Pulido. I feel like they largely just ignore my comics. I have had a few pros refer to my work as ‘zines’ as a sort of insult. 

I started Blood Desert as a big middle finger to the whole corporate comics crowd. The main character is stuck with a permanent middle finger. Good luck co-opting that sucktards. 

When I complete the World of Knonx series I wanna only make comics that are a massive fuck you to that whole unimaganitive self indulgent English centric corporate comics world. I wanna make comics for shitheads all over the world like me.

Most of the comics in the mainstream indie world are leftovers from that hokey auto-bio movement. All of them are still pining over Crumb and Pekar to this day. 

Who knew making super boring comics about your masturbation habits and history no one cares about would be considered as works of high literary art. I guess it is an easy claim to make when the critics also work for the publishers of said high grade comic “art.”

That is just the indy crowd. At this point most people’s knowledge of modern comics comes from dopey stupor hero comics and movies that are made for mouthbreathers by ex-television writers. 

These books are made by “Professional” comic book writers that get top billing over a bunch of lazy artists. These are the same “professionals” who waste their time all day on Twitter and YouTube race baiting each other and blathering nonsense about politics. Somehow they can never seem to get books out on time or any real work done. Go figure. 

Can we all just agree that the comics Youtubers are totally obnoxious. Normal people do not care about all your dumb nerd drama. The “comics news” channels love to foment drama in the industry to make money off of more views. They live to promote division among creators. Mind numbing 4 hour live streams of inane political blather. Interviewing the same old industry jobbers about some dopey superhero comic they made 20 years ago. Effete dorks gushing jizz in their whitey tighties over their wonton nostalgia.

These formerly bullied nerds bully each other constantly online. Doxing, Blacklisting, Censoring, Attacking and Canceling each other. Bunch of grade school kid popularity bullshit. I want absolutely NO part of either side’s dysfunctional cult. These sad people must love to live in a heightened state of anxiety. 

There are 100s of amazing prolific working storytellers chomping at the bit to talk about and sell their titles. Why not interview and promote these creators. Artists who choose not to engage in either side’s petty childish games. Those creators are largely ignored or admonished for not taking sides. 

The industry seems to only want to dwell in nostalgia? A Nostalgia that actually hurts creators. I really wanna talk about Alan Moore. 

Let’s all wax about the greatness of Watchmen ONE last time and finally let it go. Watchmen is the comic book Alan Moore won’t even have in his house because of the disdain he has for the American comics industry.

Comics culture could care less about Alan. They talk about his work gushing with praise. Then they call the man a nutter behind his back. 

The majority of the comics press treated him like a clown and discounted his opinions at every turn. 

Watchmen, the comic they keep in print just so Alan does not regain any of the rights back. 

By promoting and working on Watchmen in any way they are all pretty much saying fuck you to Alan. It is just accepted by everyone. “Oh well! We should just keep screwing this dude cause we all really love those characters.” It is shameful.

Shall I go on about the other creators that were screwed by this “industry”. Seigel, Shuster, Kirby, Finger, Simon and so many more.

The House of Morons track record with creatives is just as terrible. It would take all day to list the Big two’s transgressions against their freelancers. 

All their Editors in Chief make millions while their freelancers get crumbs.

Or maybe there is hope in the price gouging comic book store owners. They did nothing but complain about Diamond and the Big 2’s scams non stop for years. Then they still lap up everything they do or make like pablum. Accepting and still embracing this constant abuse. Over and over and over. I wonder if the majority of store owners are into BDSM? 

Should I bother mentioning all the sex predators that the major comics companies have been covering for?

So now after a long career and all my hard work building a loyal following I am supposed to kiss ass and play nice as a potential artist for them. I am supposed to work on shit I don’t care about? I get to beg for a job doing interior pages for less than minimum wage and no healthcare? No thanks. I am busy building my own worlds not piggybacking on the stolen worlds of others.

The US comics “industry” is kind of a total joke to me at this point. 

ZL – It sounds like you are existing as part of a community though, maybe not an American comics community, but an international underground art community, does that seem fair to say? 

AY – I was actually becoming a big part of the community for a popular comics Youtube channel for a minute until I was excommunicated. The two creators that host the channel constantly espouse to be a bastion for indie creators. As Maury Povich likes to say…” that is a lie.” 

The channel blacklisted me because of a mini comic I did showing cartoon portraits of accused sex predators and general jerks working in the American comics industry. 

I am not part of Comicsgate or any other stupid comics cult. I am not a lecherous ogre who harasses women at comics shows. I am a boring family man who makes weird comics. I speak through my art not by posting constant drama online.

I made a mini comic that someone didn’t like. That was it. Instead of finding out my side of things related to the matter these hosts just booted the videos my comics were featured in off their channel. They also had admins remove my posts off other platforms related to them. I was blatantly censored by these “artists.”

So looking back I think it had nothing to do with that mini comic. They have featured sexually violent work like Vigil’s. My stuff is tame in comparison. I feel they were threatened by my output and my dopey little youtube channel. Which is laughable. 

I have worked tirelessly my whole career to support marginalized creators in my community and around the world for over 20 years. 

At this point I would rather work with the people who get what I do and dwell in quiet obscurity rather than work with these kinds of self-serving troglodyte hacks that are so prevalent in the medium of modern mainstream comics and the art world. 

Most of these “pro comic artists” are just glorified fan artists with a little bit of stylized skill. I think that’s why all their books are so derivative of all the other stuff in the mainstream lexicon. They dwell in constant nostalgia and their work is proof of it. 

I actually feel sorry for them. To have so little faith in yourself that you have to try to take down other artists is such a sad pathetic way to live. 

One thing you can count on with some artists and comics creators. Their egos are as fragile as glass.

Comics culture in the US is steeped in all this kind of nonsensical dogma. It has become an idiotic cult of reactionary clones with Youtube and Twitter accounts. 

ZL – Thinking about that wider world of community and how there’s always been an underground arts community and sometimes people travelled through them, often linked to universities or small art publications. Do you feel like that community is something that is now easier to achieve and to curate for yourself with social media, but it involves a lot of effort and commitment to do that and that’s why it takes those in a scene, those dug into that creative feeling, to do that kind of curation?

AY – I guess It is easier to find new stuff now, but there is a lot of oversaturation online. Lots of skilled but boring fan art. Way too much fan art online. 

All the crowdfunded stuff is pretty boring and derivative of the mainstream comics they say they hate. Plus there is a high failure rate. Very slow/low delivery rate on those projects that nobody likes to talk about.

I kind of wish the companies cracked down on all the IP theft at shows and online the way they do obscenity. Before the pandemic the comic conventions in the states sucked for indie creators because of all the fanart.

ZL – Yeah, that seems to be a big issue all round, but it’s also tricky as a lot of indie creators make bucks doing commissions of existing mainstream IP. I also think that the move from mini comics and zines to pop-culture sources and attempts to be as professional as professional comics has done a lot of unspoken damage. Yeah, sure, you get a lot of a crowd, but how many are BUYERS?

AY – That is why I stopped making any kind of fanart about 15 years ago including commissions. I think fan art and commissions are a crutch for artists to lean on.

To me it shows a lack of ability to tell stories or have faith in their own creations. They are too afraid to go all in and only make and sell their own comics. They wanna draw cool spidey pin-ups not tell stories with art. There is a huge difference between the two kinds of artists.

The best Mangaka spend their whole careers telling these long form epic stories. We should aspire to that aesthetic not do a bunch of cool variant covers. 

It is easy to draw an existing IP. The design and imaginative work was done for you. You are just a human copy machine. It takes a lot of time and faith to go all in on your own ideas. I think a lot of artists try it and just give up and fall back on selling fan art at shows.

I do great at shows without any fan art. You don’t need it. I think selling fan art actually hurts indie creators. They are selling books for our competition. 

If you just offer people something new and different and work hard to sell that work they will buy it. I offer people something that is unique. Not just another Deadpool print or sketch.

ZL – Do you see yourself as part of a comics lineage, either style or approach wise? Do you feel it’s important to leave your own mark on the world, hence the making of items rather than posting online, or are you interested in building a space for now or are you trying to just get out what needs to be got out to keep your brain quiet?

AY: Comics lineage is less of a thing now because of oversaturation in the medium. Everyone can make and print their own comics now. So the key is to have your own style of storytelling. I don’t like the autobio comics genre but at least they know how to tell a story. 

That’s why I think physical media is still very important. An artist is not curtailed by the formats of printing anymore. You can adjust your style to any kind of printing process now. It used to be the other way around.

Aesthetically I want my work to be as beautiful and be as prolific as Osamu Tezuka was. Dark and creepy as Hideshi Hino‘s. Confrontational and cooky as Mike Diana‘s. With a mad dose of the dark action of a 2000AD Magazine. 

Boiled Angel – Mike Diana

ZL – I don’t know if you’re old enough to remember the Mike Diana obscenity case and the outcome of that ridiculous situation? It was big, even in UK comic magazines at the time. I remember them telling him that he wasn’t even allowed to draw AT HOME and that they would be coming in to check that he wasn’t drawing! So, I guess there’s that as a check to what we were saying about social media silencing creators, it’s not like it’s a new phenomenon, sadly. 

AY – I started getting into making fucked up comics at the same time as him. I was making One Last Day which is nowhere near as extreme or pornographic as Mike’s stuff, but it was really violent. His case scared me into being real careful who I sent my books to. 

ZL – When did you first encounter Mike Diana’s work, then and what’s so inspiring about it?

AY- I have seen more of his work recently. I like the absolute absurdity of it. It was so hard to get out here in the west coast unless you ordered it. I am not a big fan of pornographic or cheesecake comics. I do like some of the cruder stuff that is just too weird to be arousing. The work exists more as a piece of weird art rather than porn in some odd way. I have not gotten to read a ton of his stuff. He is actually a big fan of mine on Instagram. The punk rock kid in me loves seeing a block of “likes” by Mike. I have mailed him a bunch of my comix for trade.If he is reading this “Yo man! You gotta mail me some of your books!” Heh! 

ZL – I’m also intrigued to know how you found out about 2000AD as my understanding is that it’s not well known over in the US. What’s your favourite strip from there?

AY: I got a huge run of the re printed 2000AD and Dredd comics from a comic store when I was 13. I really love the old Rogue Trooper strips the most. They were some of the best sci fi war comics made essentially. Those artists were all emulating those old Action war comics they were reading

Rogue Trooper – War Machine by dave Gibbons and Will Simpson

Rogue Trooper – War Machine is a work of comics art. It definitely inspired a lot in my Blood Desert series. “The Fatties” stories in the early Judge Dredd strips are some of my all time favorite comics. I have read them a hundred times. It is just so nuts. I love that line between absurd and gross.

The Fatties – Judge Dredd

ZL – Oh yeah, those early works were really UK punk as punk can be! I’m surprised you like Rogue Trooper more than Nemesis though, Pat Mills and especially Kev O’Niell’s art is extreme as extreme art gets in comics back then. You mention in many interviews I’ve read that Japanese comics, particularly horror comics, have been an influence. How much influence do you see from Japanese horror comics in small press and self-publishing circles, it’s something I see a lot of in the creators I follow for sure, but I’m wondering what your experience is?

AY – I follow the underground Japanese scene pretty well. I am pen pals/friends with some of the newer japanese horror artists. It is funny. They all wanna get published here and I want to get published there. 

There are huge barriers in Japanese comics for Westerners. I would kill to get World of Knonx published in Japan. It is specifically designed and made for a world audience. It needs no translation. Manga publishers should be more open to Western comic artists the way we have.

I have grown very weary of all manga flooding the market lately. Most of it is just nicer formated versions of reprints of that older stuff I read in the 80s. It is not the weird upcoming stuff you see on the shelves. 

The American publishers bend over backwards to reproduce a lot of Manga but largely ignore American artists working at the same level of productivity. It has become a one way street. 

ZL – I see that a lot of publishers seem less inclined to have cartoony horror, they seem to have decide it must all be cheesecake or more realistic, I mean, you’re not going to see the likes of Shaun McManus on Swamp Thing art chores nowadays, which seems absurd because cartooning lets you play up emotions or gore without it getting all pornographic and seedy. I wonder if part of it is that as well, they want everything in that style. It’s also something that’s changed in horror as well. You think about something like Saw and how realistic those horror movie effects are compared to, say Friday the 13th, it’s changed what horror is. You could laugh at those things, not so much Saw, they’re far more EARNEST and wanting to show things REALISTICALLY.

AY- Yes! Exactly. I have been embracing the cartoon aspect of comics very heavily. Cartooning is dying in comic books not just in the horror scene. Comics have lost the ability to move the fans to a desired emotion.

I think it has to do with the industry’s reliance on writers. Artists are usually more creative and experimental than writers. Artists think in images and writers think in words. Writers can hammer out stories all day. The storytelling artist has to really think about every panel in a conscious way and how it will move the story. Images should drive comics not inane narrative. I should be able to understand the story in a comic by just looking at the art. If not then both the writer and artist have failed. Being able to type does not automatically make your stories interesting. Kirby’s cartooning made all those comics great not Stan and his stupid dialogue. 

  Personally I don’t wanna spend 12 hours drawing the perfect building in a panel that no one will care about. I wanna move the story. Cartooning creates a fluidity through the pages that perfect structure loses. Manga is great at moving you through a story in that way. 

ZL – So, in all of the ways you make things and with all of your feelings about being a part of US comics and international makers, what place do you see your new youtube videos playing into what you do? Is it more boredom relief or is it a way of pumping up awareness of the community you enjoy?

AY: I do the YouTube channel for fun and to shed light on independent creators. I also wanna try to create a new narrative in comics. Not just regurgitate the one fed to us by reactionary corporate comix culture.

ZL – Why the trash talking of something at the end? I ask because I have this pet theory that there’s a strong link between people doing underground comics currently, especially over the top gross out ones, and wrestling and I’m wondering whether that’s a bunch of nonsense I’ve made up, or whether this is like the trash talk between wrestlers, a funny sort of way to make a point about something, to build some low stakes drama? Or, is it a way to disarm a serious point by making it funny! 

AY: A little bit of both I guess. There is some carney action to all creatives who do it for a living. I think a long life as an artist hardens you. 

Comic book artists could learn a lot from Tattooists. Talk to a hardcase who has been making money everyday drawing. The one doing it in your hometown the longest. That is someone who can teach you a lot. They have had to put up with so much stupid shit from customers and society. They have a confidence and respect for their trade few artists do. They have real confidence that is inspiring. They won’t even fuck with some stupid walk-in. They are not gonna deal with some kid who wants a shitty Mickey Mouse tat. Some hokey fan art commission bullshit. People pay them good fucking money for their original style, skill and creativity. Comic artists conceded all that when they settled for being what amounts to storyboarders for ex-TV writers. 

Artists have to always remember Western society devalues you at every turn. You really have to learn to sell your art and self. Your skin better be real thick. You hear “no” and that “you will fail” constantly! You will work your ass off just to barely make it in most creative fields. 

ZL – Yeah, that really comes with the territory, especially if you’re coming at it from an underprivileged background, art seems to still be a very middle class opportunity and still seems to need strong patronage to make a living, so if you’re aren’t populist or aren’t from the right background you need to get money from somewhere else or learn to live cheap. 

AY – Starting out it is always a struggle in any field but comics has kind of embraced and even fostered failure among it’s creatives. A perfect example. No one with the talent level of Tim Vigil’s should ever be living in poverty. Which he pretty much is. If Tim started in tattoos he would probably be pretty set by now. Instead he chose to work in comics. 

ZL – You seem to be really knocking out your comics and developing an amazing backlist. I remember sharing a video where, I think that you were drawing a page from The Lottery, where you were filling in your spot blacks with this chunky dip pen nib and that just seemed like it would take a long time to get work done! So, I’m wondering whether you’ve changed up a gear and started doing lots of work, or am I just in circles where I’m seeing you pop up and you’ve been constantly busy for a long time?

AY – I mainly use a brush for large areas. Sometimes a fat nib. I have had the same process for the last 10 years. I have always had a pretty good work ethic with my art but my tools are just that. Lots of trial and error for the first 5-10 years. I had no one to help or any training. I am a lot faster at inking with some modern stuff but it is still the same process it has always been. I try to only work full time M-F 9-5. I love creating so much I get addicted to it. I will draw 18 hours straight if I am not careful. 

ZL – What inspired you to get making, not necessarily the style you make, but the actual circumstances behind you getting yourself together to put out comics instead of just sketching or posting online? What is the difference for you between posting online and publishing?

AY – Posting online is just a form of promo to me. Online is so ephemeral. I feel printed comics and animation is the best way to tell new stories and get them out. Period. It is hard to say what inspired me to start creating. I can tell you how I create though. 

I have always hated the idea of needing drugs, a muse or constant inspiration as motivation. It is not a sustainable model. It is a crutch for lazy artists to lean on. We all can learn skills and borrow from influences to make pretty art but real creativity comes from our imaginations. 

Clive Barker said it in interview after interview for years! He spoke of how fostering the imagination is being lost and even stifled in today’s world. He stressed the utmost importance for working artists and children to have an active and focused imagination. He is the greatest living horror artist of our age. The Poe of our time and everyone completely ignored him!!

Well I didn’t! I would meditate and do mental exercises daily for years to try and imagine whole working worlds. Clive was 100% right. I don’t get artists’ block or any of that shit. 

This is gonna sound super new age but it is the best way to explain it. With short meditation techniques I can light the fire of creativity instantly now. It can keep me awake some nights if I let it. My mind’s eye fills with the most moving and colorful images you could ever imagine. I have learned to embrace it and snatch stuff from the ether. It’s like a true form of art magick. When I break into the astral plane of endless creativity it recharges my inner being and overwhelms my soul with love, and joy. I am flooded with new ideas constantly. The Buddhists actually have a name for this place but the name escapes me. 

ZL – I remember reading that Moebius, Jean Giraud, the French comic artist took a similar approach, that he drew all his Moebius strips in a semi-conscious state of meditation, so it seems reasonable for you to do the same! 

AY – Exactly! I have read that and felt a kinship with him. I think Jim Woodring works in a similar fashion as well. 

ZL – Yeah, I’ve read that about Jim Woodring as well.

Looping back a second to The Lottery, I really admire the style of character design, the shapes you put down on the page, that I’ve seen in that. I’m guessing, from what you’ve just said, that much of these things arrive semi or fully formed? How much planning do you put into character design and story content and then could you give a general idea to how you approach a story and what you’re trying to achieve with your stories?

AY: Like I said prior, the initial ideas will come like a flood or in pieces. I will mentally “hang on” to my favorite ideas and build a story around them. Once I get most of it all sorted out in my brain I will do some general super loose thumbnails of a story or idea or the whole book. Sometimes I will start with a one shot style story and expand on it. The one shots will inspire more stories or ideas for other worlds as well. 

ZL – I know we touched on this earlier, but I’d like to dig deeper into whether you’re making money and what sort of sales you’re achieving, because, you know, I’m just damn nosey! More seriously though, I think part of making and why people cease making is an unrealistic idea of what can be achieved within an arena. The amount of people coming into comics and underground comix all thinking they’ll end up on Adult Swim or bankrolling a comfortable life always saddens me. You know they will get worn out banging their drum to sell 10 copies and lose hundreds because they completely over print. 

Which is a very tortured way of asking whether you make money from your comics or, at least break even? Are you happy to tell us numbers of sales and if not exact amounts of income, what sort of percentage of your income comes from your comic sales and for context, the kind of lifestyle you currently live?

AY: I grew up pretty poor. I was out on my own at around 17 with zero money. So it has not been an easy road for me in art and comics. I am not complaining, I have made good money off my comix.

I print modestly with print on demand services. I can print a few copies up to a few 100 at a time. It just depends on demand. You don’t need to have a warehouse of stuff. I focus on the stuff that does well.

It took a long time but I am in a great spot on my own. Because of the virus a lot of the mainstream crowd are kind of sitting around with their dicks in their hands. While I am hammering out stories. I am 100% owner of all my titles. I am not an LLC so a corporation can’t get my “creative content” without my direct consent. 

Luckily I don’t really need them. I have done the math, I make way more per page and book then I ever would with a publisher. I can create, print, promo, mail and repeat. I have no need for censors, editors, publishers, stores, mob run distro or other middle men. They are all just standing between me and making the profit from my books. 

No one will admit it, but the Cerebus model is still the best model for creators to sell their comics. If you are serious about ownership. More people should have the same faith in their work as Dave Sim does. Only without being a total jerk. 

ZL – I’m guessing your politics don’t mesh with his, but I think Dave Sim is definitely someone who has lessons for self-publishers and creators alike. If you were going to pass on any of his advice, how would you summarise what you’ve taken from his example?

AY – His politics aside he was pretty cantankerous in most of his interviews but he was not afraid to speak his mind. Everyone is so afraid to speak up in fear of never getting or keeping that “sweet corporate comics gig”. 

Dave was right about a lot of stuff. If you can’t stand up for your own work then who will? Before I started reading all his interviews I thought he was just a jerk but now I kind of get his anger. I could only imagine what the mainstream tried to pull back then when they saw he wouldn’t play ball. What’s worse is nothing has changed really. All the shit he was raving about in comics is the same or even worse. 

I think he was really hated by the industry when he started speaking out about all the shadiness going on. It always felt the comics press started attacking his political stances after he started to state his opinions about the practices of some of these publishers. I don’t agree with him on a lot of stuff politically but he never backed down and stayed true to his ideals. I admire him for that. 

Comics has a long sordid history of trying to silence voices they don’t want to hear. It has happened to me and many others still to this day.

ZL – How long has it taken to build up your back catalogue and what sort of tail end do you currently see on your titles, are we talking release and then forget it, sustained sales over months/years or occasional bumps when you get new titles out?

AY – It took 20 years to build the whole catalogue of large format stuff. I have printed 100s of different minis along the way. I now just mainly sell my larger format floppy and magazine stuff that does well continuously. I do have a goal to be able to fill a whole small magazine size comic book box with all my different floppy comics and mags. 

ZL – And how far away from that goal are you? 

AY – I have never actually checked. I would say I am well over halfway there. 

ZL – How do your sales and income compare to where you thought you’d be when you first started making your comics or did you not really care about that, other than not losing money?

AY: It is a weird thing that exists in indie comics. It is like they are ashamed of making money. 

You hear so much altruism in indie comics. “It is not always about the money man.” Tell that dumb shit to a career tattooist. They will laugh in your stupid face while they make $200 bucks an hour and drive off in their fully customized Dodge Challenger. While you stand there with a handful of comics and empty pockets. 

We should look at indy comics like tattooing or a little like a one man touring metal band or rap act. People wanna buy my books for my nutty unique style. So, yeah I am doing better than I ever could have dreamed of in such a dismal backwards looking field. I would rather be like a Tech 9 or Frank Zappa in comics. 

ZL – Last question, for you as a fan now, if you could get everyone in the world to read one of your books or series and a book or series by someone else, what would it be?

AY: Out of all my books I would say the World of Knonx series is my crowning achievement. I dumped every skill I have developed into one massive tale.

Park Bench – by Christophe Chabouté. It is one of the most amazing comics made in the last few years. It is one of the most beautiful comics ever made. It flows like water. It is the zen of comix. I cried the first time I read It. 

Park Bench – by Christophe Chabouté

I only make silent or wordless comics. So that is mainly what I am into. It is more common in European comics. So I try to mainly follow works coming from there. 

Comics should move us and excite us. Gross you out or move you to a new place emotionally. Not just be inane 80s TV sitcom serials. I am only interested in comics that exist and aspire to be comics. I have no interest in storyboards with dialogue. 

ZL – Thanx for your time Adam!

AY- Thanks for this in-depth interview. It is not often I get to talk deeply about things in comix that I care about. I never really get to explain how I create or how I truly feel about the medium.

I am grateful for the opportunity to speak my mind. To everyone who has ever supported me and my art. I truly frikkin’ love you all!! 

all art copyright and trademark its respective owners.

content copyright iestyn pettigrew 2020

  Adam Yeater, underground comix creator, talks in depth about his practice, his work and how comics remains closed to many outside of mainstream companies #comics #horror #underground #selfpublishing #fantasy #inspiration We spoke to Adam a little while ago about his influences and inspirations and found his answers intriguing, so we decided to dive in and dig a bit deeper.

[spacegaywritings]

The Wonders of Sleep - You are a Nightmare (4/5)

Summary: Remus is in another chaotic frenzy and refuses to calm down, so Virgil has to step in and convince the Dark Creativity that sleep can be fun too. At least Thomas well get to rest with this.

Tags: Remus things! Talks about murder, death, violence, inflicting pain etc on others/self (your basic favourites in intrusive thoughts), weapons, brutality, Remus, virgil, dukexiety, the duke of nonsense and bullshit, caps, angery remus, moth man/ rat man mentions, sexual innuendo, food, (eating) worms, plants, weird living conditions, disgusting room description, absolute chaos, caring about thomas, mutual care, fluff, domestic fluff, swearwords, lotsa cursing, dismissive nicknames, self harm (mention)

Tumblr : 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 . Ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / all.

  My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

Story under the cut: (<2k)

A gargantuan mace hit the ground, sending splitting stones and other pieces of damaged ground flying through the heart of the imagination.

 “KILL HIM, I SAY!”

 Dark Creativity screeched into the air. He ripped the mace out of the ground with great effort and immediately struck the ground with a loud war scream.

His deafening screams and yells filled the vast emptiness of the mindscape. Other than that, the slightly more silent noise of Remus consistently breaking and devastating the rocks and mountains of the desert he was in.

 “Thomas just needs to get a simple baseball bat and SMASH HIS SKULL IN!”

 Remus repeated his motion of shattering the bleeding ground as he hurled his mace out and behind his back for the maximum amount of swinging power science would give him.

 “No more PAY! No more BILLS!”

 He worked the mace down into the ground, his whole body following the movement. His upper body went down with the large weapon and stopped just shy of the unsteady ground, splitting it.

A growl could be heard. It erupted from the depths of the ground could as the dark floor slowly drove itself away from one another in two halves.

 The Duke’s rage had halved the currently imagined world.

He freed his mace and brought it back to his chest. One of his hands brushed over the end of it, the one without stabby spikes! Still a pretty side, to Remus.

A little light bubble, dark pink, grew at said end with a bit of distance to the stick-part itself.

 Remus shook the mace, letting the spikes give way to nothing but a long, black stick. Once the hurty spikes were gone, he YEETED the consistently expanding bubble in front of him and repeated.

 “KILL HIM!”

 The bubble manifested itself in the air, sticking to the invisible laws of the Duke’s whimsy. Slowly, a picture started to fade onto the dark background. Thomas could be seen, holding a bat. It was just as Remus had predicted.

The scene became crystal clear and with a simple snip of his fingers, Thomas moved as if trapped in the gifset of a violent mind. He bashed into his head, again, again, again and again as Remus chanted in moral support.

 “GO! YES! GO! AGAIN! MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE-”

 “Remus.”

 The Imagination shifted at once, the bubbling magma morphing into a small river while the dark ground, the stones and rocks and destruction turned into a field of grass.

While the air remained heavy, the bubble popped and Remus’ stick became nothing but an elegant twig.

 “Why are you up so late?”

 Creativity growled in response and shook his body like a wet dog. His flouncy outfit floated as if in timelapse.

 “Why are you up so late? Stop asking me silly questions. I am creating.”

 Virgil hopped over the small river and turned to look directly at the raging side.

 “You look as if you are pouting”, he stated calmly, much like Logan would, “what got ya stinki mood up, poopy boy?”

 Remus glared back at the smaller side and cleared his throat. He bowed to pick up his twig.

 “My mace.”

 That was definitely a pout. Remus’ lips were pursed into a pout, even his words seemed to pout despite his sentence being so short of them.

The mustache seemed to stretch his face into a long, sad face. Maybe he was actually manipulating his appearance, maybe the facial hair really put an extra emphasis after all.

 “You are the Duke of Creativity. If you want it back, you do that. Now, how about we give this financial discussion a break and fucking chill for a minute.”

 Remus threw the twig away and shook his head, arms crossed in front of his chest.

 “Yeah, you would like that. How about Thomathy here gets it on with a hot dude and I will shut up?”

 Virgil rolled his eyes.

 “We could eat that cockroach Thomathy squished this morning! I will get it from the trash!”

 The Duke started running for time before the other could even react. Anxiety kicked in, shifting the imagination in a way, they found themselves in Remus’ messy bedroom.

A huge vine came out of the closet and ended mid-room before the bed.. or whatever one wanted to call the mess of clothing. There was a glowing blue trail of splatter on the floor. Weapons and.. hair??? were cluttered all over the floor.

Virgil could hear a distant slapping of meat.

The floorboards seemed rather loose and rattled.

 “My room! ROOM ROOM ROOM!”

 Remus drew Virgil close.

 “Emo! Look at my plant! It is really cute! It will love you!”

 Virgil clung to the ever-changing mess of ideas and shook his head.

 “I want to sleep, Remus. Shut up and go to sleep with me. You can wreck havoc and reek tomorrow but Thomas needs to sleep or else he will be shit in the morning.”

 The man in question bounced.

 “If I make Thomathy beat up himself, he will look like shit for sure!!!”

 The emo rolled his eyes and nudged Remus towards the bed. He had not even expected the room to look as bad. Maybe he should have taken this to the living-room or literally any space that had a comfortable ground to lay on. He was a metaphysical being who could not really perceive pain after all - the choice to sleep was really just allowing Thomas to deal with things more calmly, at least in the case of Anxiety. Also, only given that Virgil did not deliberately clock out in order to spare Thomas any effect from his side.

 “Nah, that is work. Work sucks. We wanna sleep forever and eat weird shit, right?”

 Remus grumbled.

At heart, he sort of agreed. Right now, he was driven to do things, to be active and creative or destroy and simply do as much as he could because he had that energy.

 “Nap time, Dukey.”

 Virgil tugged him towards the bed.

 “Oh, Virgil ~ I did not know you were into this kind of thing ~”

 The addressed side blushed but shook his head.

 “In your dreams, fucker.”

 He stepped closer to the unmoving wall of Creativity. Confidently, he let their chests collide, sending Remus backwards.

The wavering Duke gasped in surprise and squeaked insolently.

 “EmO!”, he screeches with a voice that got scratchier and scratchier by the minute. His arms flailed into any direction until he drew them in front of his chest to cross them.

“How can you be cunning and cunt-y?”

 Virgil could hear his brain yell a conditioned “language!” response at him. He literally heard Patton scold Remus in his brain. Judging from the sour look on the other’s face, the anxious trait assumed he could hear it too.

 “Now you know how tiring it can be to hear something in you, that you can’t stop? Pretty fucking shitty, huh? Move, babysitting you is tiring.”

 The reveal of a long, pink tongue was the response but Remus kicked off his boots and patted his clothings until they dissolved into some sort of magical glitter dust. It silently trickled down onto the floor and was blown into all directions of the room.

This place really had a mind of its own. Not that Virgil really minded this.

 “Good Remus”, Virgil praised softly as he joined the other on the bed. They laid down together and Virgil kicked a bundle of weapons and books off the bed, “oops. My bad. I thought it was your pet raccoon.”

 Remus giggled.

 “No! That is you!”

 Virgil shook his head, grinning into his oversized mess of a self-ruined jacket. The Duke looked at him in his own naked glory and patted the space next to him. To join him on the fun, he eyed the stack of his dirty single socks collection and gave it a strong kick.

 “PARTY!”

 “Nooo, nap time. We wanted to be nice to Thomas and fuck shit up tomorrow.”

 Creativity blinked at Virgil. A rare occasion. The blinking and directly looking at someone. He usually just stared into something nobody but him could see. It was chilling and so deeply terrifying, Thomas would feel it in his bones when anyone but Logan or the (former) Others interacted with him.

 “You will join me?”

 Virgil threw his head back as he slowly snuggled up to Remus, filling the spot he had previously patted. A groan escaped his lips and he let his head roll against Remus’ shoulder.

 Instead of answering, he clapped his hands together, summoning a little bowl he thrusted into Remus’ hands.

The bowl was full of little gummy worms which looked surprisingly disgusting with how slimy and wet they appeared to be. They had a certain shine to them and the colour was so unnaturally neon orange, they were glowing in the dim lighting of the Duke’s room.

 “Have a cursed snack and get your creative energy into a fucked up sex dream instead of making Thomas uncomfortable. He’s got some shit to do tomorrow.”

 Silence took over the room.

Virgil caused some rustling sounds as he curled up next to Remus. The room was surprisingly un-stinky compared to what he had expected.

Loud chewing sounds interrupted the momentary silence.

 It was good while it lasted but Virgil was willing to trade his own discomfort for the sake of Thomas’ well-being. He needed his sleep with another tough schedule coming up.

 “Virgil?”

 He hummed in response.

 “Are you anxious because of the new projects they planned?”

 The former dark side curled further into himself, shaking his head stubbornly.

Chewing sounds continued for a bit until Remus took a small break and suddenly snapped his head back and emptied the whole bowl into his mouth. Without even moving his jaw to chew, he swallowed his big ball of cursed sweets and made a lewd lip-smacking sound.

 Virgil opened his mouth to comment on how disgusting the other was but he interrupted him.

 “Come cuddle. It is okay to be scared. I will eat your mean anxiety.”

 He shook his head. The Duke turned to pull Virgil into a hug. The anxious side chuckled.

 “This is not how I work.”

 “Yeah, but it is how I work.”

 “Whatever, Remus. Shut up if you wanna cuddle, you rat man.”

 It was Remus’ turn to chuckle.

 “You just wish I was moth man!”

 Virgil shook his head, smirking into Remus’ neck. He finally allowed himself to close his eyes and hold onto the other.

 It was silent.

For real.

Within minutes, Remus was asleep and Virgil was ever so silently snoring, nobody could hear it.

[blackmissfrizzle]

Title: A Match Made in Hell -Part 2

Read Part 1

Summary: The reader works with Sam to cure Dean

Pairing: demon!dean x black!reader, Crowley

Word Count: 3226

Warnings: Smut, violence, angst, fluff

A/N: This is for all my black girls who love Supernatural but don’t get the chance to see themselves in the show or in the fandom

Soulmates. You and Dean were soulmates, well according to your dad. But it made sense. You were always drawn to the eldest Winchester.

At first you and Dean had a love-hate relationship, because he thought you were a spoiled brat who was pretending to be a badass and you thought he was an overprotective misogynistic asshole.

Once he witnessed you in action his opinion of you changed and you two got along great. You would play pranks on Sam together, had inside jokes, confided in each other, he allowed you to drive Baby whenever you wanted to, and you even started to share a bed with him, despite the fact that you could afford your own room.

Of course you two had your up and downs. The main one was when Azazel ratted you out as a half demon to Dean before he killed him. Dean was hurt by your betrayal but he allowed you a head start before he tried to kill you.

Along with Bobby, you were able to convince the boys to forgive you. You explained to them that their father found you and threatened to kill your reformed demon best friend, if you didn’t go to Stanford and keep an eye out on Sam. You guess you were always fated to be in their life.

The boys forgave you and the three of you set out to save Dean from going to the pit. That year you two became closer. This time you didn’t have to lie to him. So, you told him of how your father killed your mom when you were a baby, how you had to constantly fight off demons from kidnapping you during your childhood, and how your dad sent your best friend to be an evil influence on you, but it backfired on him because all she wanted to be was human.

It wasn’t until Bobby pointed out that you realized you were in love with Dean. You were so in love with him that you summoned your father and had lunch with him, trying to find a way out of Dean’s crossroads deal; that should’ve been a major clue that he was your soulmate.

Or when Dean came back from hell, that was a major clue as well. The day he was brought back you felt a lightness and warmth in your chest. You dropped everything you were doing and went to Bobby’s and found Dean there. You didn’t even question if he was really himself, you just knew.

When Dean started to lie to Sam about not remembering his time in Hell, you didn’t rat him out. Somehow, maybe because of your powers, his nightmares about his time there became your nightmares. It began to be too much because they felt so real that you couldn’t even sleep at night. But you continued to suffer in silence because you wanted Dean to confide in you on his own time.

Only that time never came. He sought out comfort in Anna instead and slept with her. For you that was the biggest betrayal, but you didn’t confront him. You kept it a secret and stayed with him, which was another big sign because you never stayed with anyone who cheated on you before. But the secret didn’t last long. When you found the prophet, Chuck he accidentally revealed that you found Dean and Anna fucking in the back of Baby. That’s when things really went south for you two.

Then, the damn Apocalypse came. Even though you were prophesied to be married to Lucifer, your heart always belonged to Dean even when his didn’t belong to you.

No matter how hurtful it was you choose to let Dean go when he choose to stay with Lisa when Sam sacrificed himself. Dean deserved the normal life and you weren’t able to give it to him because of your powers.

With Sam gone and Dean retired from hunting, you gave up the life as well. Before you started hunting with the Winchesters you were a fed and a former governmental assassin, but you gave that up as well and worked at your family’s Fortune 500 company.

You didn’t see Dean again til Sam called you to come back, when they sent Bobby to the afterlife after he became a ghost.

Before he left, Bobby fussed at you two, “You two idjits better get it together. You need him and she needs you.” Although, you loved Bobby, you didn’t listen to him and you didn’t see Dean for another couple of years until you ran into him in Garth’s hospital room.

Now you spent almost every waking moment with Dean. The past couple of weeks with Dean has been filled with sex, booze, and brawls. Whenever you were near Dean, you would give into your hedonistic demonic desires. But the moment you stepped away you would regret everything. Well, everything but the sex; it was mind-blowing and from time to time you and Dean would bring a girl back to the room.

Sometimes you gained the courage and suggest to Dean that you get Sam’s help and turn him back human. Dean would instantly get irritated and tell you to drop it, and then commence to fuck you into submission until you apologize for your dumbass request.

But you weren’t the only one getting tired of Dean’s antics. Crowley was tired of them as well. The last straw was when Dean killed the client of a crossroads deal instead of his wife.

Crowley was disappointed in Dean’s refusal to get with his plans to rule hell with him, so he finally caved when you said you needed Sam to fix Dean.

You and Crowley teleported to outside Sam’s motel room and he looked like shit. His arm was in a sling, eyes sunken, and he seemed to have lost some weight.

“Hello, Bullwinkle.” Crowley called to Sam.

You ran to Sam to give him a hug and he pulled you back to inspect you, checking for wounds. “Are you okay? Why didn’t you call me,” the gentle giant asked.

“Too busy raising hell with her soulmate,” Crowley quipped. Sam raised his eyebrows at you to confirm if Crowley was telling the truth and you shaked your head yes to back up the King of Hell.

Sam ran his hand over his face in shock. “Wow. Okay.” Then he pointed Ruby’s blade at Crowley, “But why is he here?”

You pushed Sam’s arm down and looked back at Crowley, “He’s here to help. He’s gonna give you Dean back.”

Confused, Sam blurted out, “What?”

“The little prat’s bad for business. He’s...uncontrollable. Must be the mark. Even his lovely soulmate can’t rein him in.” Crowley elaborated.

After trading the First Blade for Dean’s location, Crowley left you with Sam and y’all came up with a plan to get Dean home.

Dean was sitting at a piano when you walked in. “Hiya, Sam, Y/N.” You stood there silently as Sam and Dean were talking. Sam was trying his hardest to convince Dean to take the cure but Dean was having none of it.

You finally found your voice when Dean threatened Sam.  “ ‘Cause right now, I’m doing all I can not to come over there and rip your throat out...with my teeth.”

Taking a step towards Dean, you tried to appeal to his humanity. “C’mon Dean, you don’t mean that. He’s your brother. Let him help you.”

Dean tilted his glass of liquor at you, “You. You stay out of this. Just wait til later.” You gulped nervously , you didn’t know if it was as out of fear or lust. But for one thing it sure wasn’t good.

Sam continued to plead with Dean when the bar was filled with a smoke bomb. When you exited the bar some Jermey Renner wannabe punched you and Sam, only he managed to knock Sam out.

You watched as him and Dean fought. He claimed Dean killed his dad years ago and this was his revenge. Dude might’ve had a small chance to take out Dean if he was still human, but he was way over his head now that Dean was a demon.

The fight got brutal at the end, Dean had him bloody and broken, but surprisingly Dean let him live. Sam was able to catch Dean off-guard and get the demon cuffs on him. It hurt your heart to hear Dean scream in agony from the holy water, but you knew it was the best for him.

After giving Crowley the First Blade, Sam drove you guys back to the bunker. And if you weren’t occupied with curing Dean you would’ve explored the place.

You could hear the pain the shots of human blood was giving Dean.  That was why you standing outside the dungeon instead of giving Sam back up, it was too tough to be in there.

Sam came out, face discouraged after giving Dean his latest shot. “How you doin’, Sammy?”

He smiled at you using his nickname. You were the only other person besides Dean he let's call him that. “Alright. He just trying to get under my skin.” Sam grabbed your shoulder to check on you. “How are you? Why won’t you go in?”

“I can’t be that close to him, Sam.” You leaned against the wall and continued, “The whole soulmate thing is true. Soon as Dean went all demonic, so did I. Me being near him is bad, because I wanna give into my worst desires. And right now those desires want me to take you down and release him.”

“Listen, Y/N. I get it. But if you can resist Lucifer and suppress your powers, then you can resist Dean. I just— I just need you to talk to him. Maybe you can get through to him, please.” Sam begged you with his puppy dog eyes and walked off.

Ok, Y/N. You can do this. Just stay pissed at him the whole time. Dean lifted his head when he heard you enter and he had that stupid ass smirk on his face.

“Oh, look who’s here! It’s the love of my life. Ready to break daddy out?”

“Dean, you’re not going anywhere until you’re cured.”

Dean tilted his head to the side to look at you in a different light. This was his favorite look on you. Your hair was styled in your normal twist-out. You had a flannel shirt and jeans that hugged your curves just right.

“Is that so?”

“Yup,” you replied with popping the p.

He sniffed the air. “Then why can I smell you all the way over here?”

You squirmed trying not to let Dean know he was affecting you. “Mmm. I know that look. What do you want? Is it my fingers? Is it my mouth?” He traced his lips seductively with his tongue. “Or is it my dick?”

“N-nnn-none of it,” You stuttered greatly. “I’m not having sex with you right now.”

“Ok fine. We’ll have to get creative.” Dean stared at the ceiling pondering on what fun he could have with you. He had that devilish smirk once an idea came.”Touch yourself.” He ordered.

“What? No.” You instantly denied his request. But you did feel that slickness between your thighs that made you want to say yes.

“Touch. Yourself. I won’t say it again,” Dean demanded.

What the hell, you thought. As long as you didn’t get near Dean, everything would be fine. You unbuttoned your pants and dipped your hand inside your pants when Dean’s voice stopped you.

“Uh huh. Go slower. Caress your body like I would. Start with your tits.”

You did just as Dean instructed. You roamed your hands all over your body and pulled your breasts out to play with them as well. It didn’t feel as good as Dean’s but with him tied up and helpless, watching you please yourself was a different type of euphoria.

Feeling bold you popped one of your breasts in your mouth and sucked on it ravishingly. That earn you a grunt from Dean. You continued to tease him by staring directly in his eyes as you sucked on your fingers, twirling your tongue around them as it was his dick. This time Dean snarled and his eyes turned black,

“Awww, is the big bad demon mad that he can’t get any pussy,” you taunted.

“You’re gonna regret that later, sweetheart.”

“Mmm there won’t be a later. You’ll be gone and I’ll have my old Dean back.”

Finally done teasing yourself, you dipped two fingers inside of your sopping entrance. You let out a sigh of ecstasy and continued your assault.

“Lemme see it, baby girl.  Lemme see my pussy,” Dean groaned.

Too far gone, you decided not to correct Dean on the ownership of your pussy and you used your powers to move your pants and underwear down your legs. With them out of the way you had better access which produce a better sensation.

The longer you went on, the more moans and groans came out of your mouth. “You wish that was me making you make those sounds, sweetheart?”

“Mmhmm,” you bit your bottom lip.

“Oh you’re so fuckin’ beautiful right now. I wish I were inside of you. Do you want daddy’s dick?” Dean edged you on.

“Yessss. I want daddy’s dick.” Feeling your orgasm mount up, you pumped your fingers faster and used your powers to put pressure on your clit.

“Daddy, I’m so close. I’m about to cum. Can I...can I please cum, daddy?” You banged your head against the wall, but you didn’t care because you were so far gone.

“Look at daddy and don’t take your eyes off of me.” Dean instructed. You did as you were told and leveled your eyes to meet Dean’s. Once your eyes were on him, he gave one last order. “Now cum.”

“Shit, shit, shit. I’m cum-cumming!.” The orgasm was so intense that you almost doubled over.

You finally caught your breath and made yourself decent again. Dean tried to convince you to come finish him off, but you declined and left him sitting there with the most excruciating blue balls.

Deciding to kill time, you were in the library reading up on some African lore when Sam crept behind you. He was panicking and told you that Dean got out and to follow him.

You were lucky you had Sam as a guide, because with your luck you would’ve bumped into Dean on your own. After Sam turned off the power, you followed him as Dean continued to threaten him throughout the halls like a bad horror movie.

Thankfully Sam was able to trap Dean in the electrical room but that didn’t last long because he soon started hacking into the door with a hammer.

Sam pleaded with Dean to stop, but it didn’t affect him.

He wanted blood and he was determined it was gonna be Sam’s.

“ ‘Cause there’s just enough demon left in me that killing you ain’t no choice at all. And you,” Dean pointed the hammer at you, “I’m gonna make you watch as I kill him and then I’ll fuck you in the pool of your best friend’s blood.”

Ok, even your demonic half didn’t like that. It was time to cure this crazy ass motherfucker.

Dean snuck up on you and Sam in the hallway. Sam got the upper hand and had the blade up to Dean’s neck while Dean goaded him to do it. But thank God for divine intervention, because Castiel came in time to

subdue Dean.

It was a miracle. Dean’s eyes no longer turned black, he was a regular degular human again. You and Cas stood in the library as Sam went to get Dean a bunch of junk food.

“Did you know?” You questioned the angel. He raised his eyebrows in confusion.

“Me. Dean. The whole soulmate thing,” you waved your hands towards the sky.

“Oh, yes. I had an inkling. You two were so in sync with each other, that being soulmates only made sense.”

Sighing, you rubbed your eyes. “I wished you would’ve told me, Cas.”

“Y/N, remember the whole team free will thing? I didn’t want to drop that on you two. And you guys were in a rough patch when I found out. I don’t think it would have helped much,” your angelic friend reminded you.

“You’re right, Cas.” Pointing behind you, you asked him, “Do you mind if I talk to him first?”

Cas waved his hand, “No, go talk to your soulmate.”

You knocked on the door twice before you heard Dean yell come in. His room was simply decorated and it all reminded you of him.

“I thought you’d be running for the hills by now,” Dean admitted.

“Can’t get rid of me that fast, Winchester. How you feeling?”

“Better. Now that I’m demon free.” Dean stood up from the bed, “Y/N, I just wanted to say I’m sor—“

You sat on Dean’s bed and pulled on his hand for him to join you. “Don’t you dare apologize, Dean Winchester. It’s not your fault, understand?”

Dean rubbed circles on your hand. He didn’t know if it was to comfort you or him. “Sweetheart, if it wasn’t for me, you’d be home with your boyfriend right now. Probably watching Netflix and not in the middle of this mess.”

“Ugh, him. I was about to break up with him anyway. He’s too boring.” You made a gagging face as you talked about your future ex-boyfriend. “I regret only a little of this time we spent together. I rediscovered why I love you. Yeah we did some crazy things. I regret the fights and my liver will probably regret the booze, but other than that it’s been a great time. C’mon the sex.” You slapped his shoulder, “The sex was AMAZING! Even in the dungeon, it was great. Next time we’ll make sure you’re not a demon and not tied up against your will. The only thing I regret about our sex, is I didn’t get to make love to the real you first.”

Dean lifted his eyebrows up suggestively, “Next time?”

You punched him in the shoulder playfully. “Are you serious? I’m practically confessing my love to you and all you care about is dungeon sex?”

Dean pulled you in his lap and nuzzled your neck.”You love me?”

“Yes, you idjit!” Dean proceeded to kiss you. It was unlike the kisses during these past few weeks. It felt like him. It tasted like him without the taint of being a demon.

“I love you too. Stay here with me. I know it’s not a billionaire dollar mansion, but I can make it worthwhile.

“I can’t.”

Dean pulled back from you. He was offended by your denial. “What do you mean by no? Weren’t you just professing your love to me?”

You brought Dean closer to you. “I do love you, but that’s why I need the space. These past weeks I lost myself in you and I vowed I would never lose myself in any man. I’m gonna work on me and look for how to get rid of that,” you gestured to the Mark of Cain. “I promise I’ll come back.”

“You promise?” Dean asked as he grabbed your hips.

“I promise. Besides the sex is too bomb to leave you anyway.”

Dean burst out laughing and it was your favorite sound from him. “I guess we’re really a match made in heaven, huh?”

You shrugged your shoulders and suggested jokingly, “Or hell. Either way we’re perfect for each other.”

Taglist: @thefaithfulwriter @dannixchristian @cosmicmelaninflower @mml232 @1000roughdrafts @httpchxcxlateapple @eidetic-spencerreid @blacknthemix@stu-recs @forgetthisbull @blackdepressoexpresso @titty-teetee

[niennavalier]

So

Because roommates are playing in my D&D campaign, I can’t tell them all the fun rants going through my head. Which means you all/the void get to hear them

Basic premise of the campaign (which has actually been going for like 6-7 sessions now? IDK exactly cause we never initially planned for it to go long): the party has found this lost/legendary city that’s hidden in the middle of the desert and invisible to the world. (I watched Road to El Dorado, okay?) There be some shenanigans, but they learn that the crystal which has been protecting the city/keeping it invisible and such is failing. Monsters getting into the city, and the city itself is now faintly visible from the outside, which wasn’t true before. They learn of the existence of other crystals scattered across the world and that they exist to bind Talos (as a result of some big ol’ good vs evil fight from long in the past). His followers plan to “corrupt” and then take the crystals for themselves in order to reverse those binds and let chaos rule again (which the party doesn’t fully know yet, but they have some hints of it).

And at the same time, the city itself is undergoing some shit. Because I wanted to fill out the world as being more than the party and the crystal. So the Mayor left some months back without returning, and people aren’t pleased with how things have been going since. There are whispers and plans of some sort of uprising in order to demand answers (from the young tiefling left in charge of the city who is Not Ready for this sort of responsibility...and is lowkey panicking cause he knows things aren’t good. The party Rogue isn’t impressed with him and honestly yeah, that was the point) and get shit back in order. And the party split last time, half of them examining the tunnel where I plot dumped about the crystals - and a teleportation circle is laying dormant - while the other half went to go see the crystal. 

So I was like “Nice, I can intro the whole uprising thing to the half of the party not in the tunnel and give them some more shit to deal with/give them more of a sense of the current state of the city/etc etc”. And I did that, had them meet this sorta sketch older dude who was in charge of that movement, saw that they did want to fundamentally help the people of the town, and sorta offered for them to join (while also giving the information much more easily than I normally give them, because a lot of my NPCs have reasons to not implicitly trust these randos). I left the second to last session with “So, what do you say?” as a question of whether they wanted to join (whether genuinely or just to learn more of what was up).

And then was thinking of things for the most recent session, which involved some fleshing out of the people involved in said uprising, assuming they would be interested. And instead got the most blase response to a goddamn uprising: effectively just “that’s great but its not our particular goal here byeee”. Which then led to roommate wanting to investigate the room with the crystal (which I knew was basically empty anyway because the room itself doesn’t serve any purpose beyond...being a room) and rolling well on said roll. And then being like “why do I always roll good on stuff that doesn’t really matter?” And I’m like...I’m sorry the room legit doesn’t have anything in it, but also I legit just threw so much plot at you about this uprising because I thought that would be the main point of what you’d be dealing with??

Which was then compounded by them returning to the rest of the party, relaying the random info that I gave for the investigation check (which amounted to just a rough timeline of what had happened earlier) and sorta glossing over the entire uprising that was coming up. Granted, it was mentioned, but more in that people are just unhappy with the current government, not that shit’s about to go down real soon. AKA, in probably about 6 hours from where they currently stand in game...which also lines up rather well with an invasion of the city by followers of Talos...which is actually happening at the same time because one of the people heading the uprising is actually one of said followers of Talos...but they don’t know this because they chose not to look into the uprising at all.

So they have a lot to deal with soon.

Not to mention the other thing that happened. Because one of the first NPCs I introduced to them was this half-drow rogue (Vaerys, who is probably gonna become a PC for me to play the day I finally don’t have to be the forever DM). And they didn’t trust him, because he wasn’t willing to tell them any actual information (his family is being held by followers of Talos to ensure that he does his job: bringing a shard of obsidian into the city to weaken the crystal and take it...or at least not rat them out long enough for them to do the dirty work themselves...so I’d say he has reason to not trust anyone in this place). But he’s been something of a constant to the game so far, because they know he has information that might be useful, so they’ve gone seeking him out before. And same roommate who was looking around the tower made a good arcana check, so I figured I’d use that to let them in on the obsidian shard and how Vaerys is connected to the entire thing. So that happens, they find him, and I figure I’ll throw them a bone and pretty much just have my boy plot dump his backstory (not the details, but the important bits) at them. (to be fair, he chooses to trust them because roommate’s character is naive and so it’s pretty clearly not a deception. Seemed both a little more lenient than usual without being entirely out of character). So now they know about the demon invasion, and that he plans to get the crystal out so that his family is safe and the town isn’t razed to the ground by a bunch of demons or cultists or whatever the servants of Talos decide to throw at them.

Being your typical dumbass good characters, roommate is like “just give us the crystal so we can destroy it and the servants of Talos, and we can protect your family!” To which his response is effectively “How about no, because you’re like, 5 people vs an entire cult and whatever army they’ve gathered, and I’m not risking my family just cause you’ve got an inflated sense of morality. I get that you want to do the right thing - I don’t want these people to die either - but this isn’t a black and white thing, and you definitely can’t kill a whole army on your own”. 

To which roommate responded by essentially quoting Spock (you all know the quote), and I’m internally like “ooh boy, that’s not getting on his good side. ‘Just sacrifice your family so that we can maybe protect this town’. That’s really gonna resonate with him”. Obviously he’s not responsive to that logic, so then roommate goes “I’m gonna try to steal the amulet”

What

“...okay, I think that’s a Dex check in this case, cause it’s pretty small and he’s holding it up slightly away from himself”

Now, keep in mind, I rolled for Vaerys’ stats, so he’s a Rogue at slightly higher level than they are. Roommate is playing a Barbarian. Guess whose Dex was too fucking high for roommate to beat?

Yeah.

So now roommate’s character (and her boyfriend’s character, who was sorta just along for the ride) are now on Vaerys’ bad side, and they have no idea where he is either, because they ended up getting stopped by the bartender in the tavern where they found him. (cause, yknow, people running through the tavern means trouble so barkeep stopped them like “What the fuck is going on. Get out. Now” Especially after roommate tried to convince them all to go chasing after him and failed...although what she doesn’t know is that those patrons are either normal people who were hoping for a normal evening, or people involved in the uprising with much more pressing things on their mind than the barbarian telling them to go on a wild goose chase for reasons they don’t even know to be true yet)

Aaand then they activated the teleportation circle (after relaying all of this wonderful news), two of them went through, and now are stuck on the other side because those were the decided on mechanics of these teleportation circles for this game. While the rest of them are in a city - essentially on the brink of some kind of revolution - which is about to be probably raided by an evil army, with a once-potential ally on the loose and no longer on great terms with them

(because side note: Vaerys also feels like he’d been betrayed by other roommate’s character, who told him that they wouldn’t rat him out to the wizards working on figuring out the crystal - aka another of my PCs who’s getting recycled for this game, and then brought said wizards down to the tunnel where Vaerys was presumably still hiding. They wanted to get help deciphering the walls, but instead shit just went sideways because I warned them that Vaerys might still be in there and I stalled for as long as I fucking could, but then they just went in anyway and I was like “...well, I warned yall. Now there’s a dagger at your side.” So Vaerys is only okay with the party Rogue - because hell yeah neutral characters, that whole solution was actually rather creative. And the sorcerer who just joined the party last session, because he just hasn’t actually met her yet)

(Other notable bit from that part between roommate and Vaerys was her saying that “well if the demons can know if you betray them, then if we take the amulet and smash it, then they’ll know it’s not your fault and your family will be fine!” And this wasn’t exactly how I said it in character but like...these people are chaotic evil. Emphasis on Chaotic. Would you trust them to care the specifics on why things went wrong? Or just believe that if things go wrong, they’ll kill your family regardless? Talos is the god of chaos, after all. These folks ain’t lawful by any means)

Point being: they got a lot to deal with

[haikyuu-imagines-and-others]

Can I go ahead and ask for a sequel to the Mattsun Soulmate one! It was so lovely and amazing and I was wondering if it could turn into a poly Mattsun/reader/Makki?? Like maybe Makki's mark isn't really visible either? I love the idea of being shared between those two! :3

I have not been feeling very…. creative… lately lol so I’m sorry if I hyped this up much more than it came out to be!!! But thank you for the request, love!!! You really spurred that idea for me :) - Admin Satori

Part 1 Here       Part 2 Here

Matsukawa Issei x Reader x Hanamaki Takahiro

“I’m honestly fine, guys, you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“You lost half your weight in the last month, Hiro!”

“Dude, have you even showered? You smell like a dump.”

Hanamaki rolled his lips into a impish smile before shrugging, “What can I say… I forgot?”

But you weren’t having it, at all. You grabbed him by the wrist, pushing aside your worry about how fragile he felt in your hold, and dragged him down the sidewalk, Matsukawa hot on your heels. “Absolutely goddamn ridiculous. Acting like a child. Making me be a goddamn parent. Buncha bullshit.” You were not happy, and Hanamaki internally shriveled at your frustrated mutterings while Matsukawa only chuckled at your mumblings.

Of course, he was only laughing to mask his worry. This was his best friend dried to nothing more than skin and bones. What had happened? The last he’d seen him, everything had been fine. The three of you were okay…. And then you’d showed Matsukawa your tattoo, and he’d shown you his… But what about Hanamaki? His hadn’t even bloomed on his skin yet…. Was that why he was acting out the way he was? Because he was upset he was alone?

The idea of Hanamaki being alone had Mattsun’s smile slipping from his face. This wasn’t funny anymore. Your irritation was rightly placed. Hanamaki’s general shame was rightly felt…. So why did Mattsun feel as if he needed to take the brunt of the blame for his best friend? Why did he feel the overwhelming desire to save his best friend. Not from you, since he’d do the same for you, but from… He didn’t know.

The shame? The hurt? Is that what he wanted to protect Makki from?

“Issei,” Your voice snapped Mattsun from his internal spiral, his sleepy brown eyes on you with full attention. “I need you to go to the nearest fast food, Hiro’s favorite - and get as much food as your big arms can hold, okay?”

Matsukawa raised an eyebrow at you, his lips curling into an almost lethargic smirk, “Are you coming on to me?” You scoffed with a smile and pushed him out of the room. Then you were turning to Hanamaki and pulling him further into the house.

Straight to your bathroom. You’d have just the tools to cut down the rats nest that had grown on his head. To give him a deep cleaning on his greasy, flaky scalp.

Hanamaki gave you a fearful look with wide eyes, “All of it?” You nodded with a smirk, “Oh no! It’s not that bad! I swear! I can wash it! No problem.” But your smirk fell almost as quickly as it’d been placed there, and almost immediately Makki regretted offering to take care of his hair issue. Because you were right to bring him. Honestly, his hair had gotten so bad, he’d gotten so uncomfortable in the past couple of weeks with it’s unkept nature…. But he was scared to even touch it. He was worried it’d hurt too much or it’d just all fall out from his roots going through extreme pressure!

Your hand found his, and he held tightly onto you as the buzzing of the clippers pierced the calm parlor atmosphere. You clicked it off before resting it on the bathroom counter, removing your hand from his hold to lead him to the edge of the bathtub. He sat down on the edge without a fight, though he was still a tall young man. His head came to just below your chin even while sitting down.

“I’ll be gentle. I promise. Okay?” You smiled softly, reassuringly. Because he was your friend. One of your best friends. Never would you ever intentionally hurt him…. Even though you had. That’s how he’d ended up here. Looking tired and worn, a few steps from an early funeral…. You couldn’t keep it together anymore, a tear leaked passed your control, streaking down your cheek as you slowly worked his hair tie out of the tangle of pink hair.

He saw it. Clear as day. And his heart crumbled inside. He’d made you cry. He’d allowed himself to get so horribly unkempt that it made you cry. Were you ashamed to know him? To have him anywhere near you? “I’m sorry….” He whispered quietly, leaning his head forward to rest it against your collarbone, giving you a better view of the hair tie.

Almost immediately you were able to undo the knot, his pink hair falling to mid-ear. You slowly, carefully, ran your fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face, “What’re you sorry for?” You question, confused on his apology. It was heartfelt. Your heart had jumped in your chest at his voice, but why? “We all get a little sad now and then… It’s okay…” You smiled down at him, fingers stroking his cheek with a ghostly touch as he lifted his head to be able to see you.

“I’m pathetic….” He sniffled, his own tears welling in his eyes, but you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug, resting your head over his and closing your eyes. “I’m literally the saddest excuse of a human. What the fuck….” He sniffled, though there was a sour smile in his voice. You shook your head, “And you can’t even disagree… Look at me… Can’t even fucking take care of myself….” He sniffled into your shoulder, his arms wrapping around your waist.

You didn’t say anything more. You knew if you disagreed, he’d only insist on his self-depreciation. And you definitely didn’t agree. Because you’d felt more or less the same he’d been feeling… To a lesser degree, thanks to Matsukawa always having his ears open for you, but you still felt…. Lost. Like Hanamaki.

His sniffles slowed in occurrence, his breathing slowly returned back to a calm breathing - though they turned into deep inhales, his face pressing into your shoulder, his arms holding you closer. “You’re warm…” He whispered quietly, so quietly he hoped you hadn’t heard him. Makki would have given anything… anything at all… to be able to stay here in your arms. To have you holding him so close for the rest of his life…. This is what he’d dreamt of for so long.

But he couldn’t stay here forever…. You had a life to live with his best friend… The two of you, happy forever. Living together and being happy… Probably marriage and kids not too far out… And he’d be there for you two… He swore on it. He’d never let himself get this badly ever again. Not when he knew it’d hurt you. Hurt Mattsun. Never again.

A deep breath and he was slowly pulling away, looking up at you with tired eyes, but your smile filled him with the energy he so desperately needed. “Better?” He nodded, and you leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead before turning to grab the electric clippers.

He only continued to stare up at your face as you slowly pressed the guard blade against his scalp, pushing along the side of his head to the base of his skull. The entire length of his hair fell limp into the tub below. The side of his head, now without hair covering it - only a light fuzz of pink - felt cooler, felt lighter. A buzz a little higher up took another length of hair off. More cool, less heavy… It felt nice. And the view…. It was incomparable.

Well… Not incomparable.

Matsukawa knocked on the bathroom door, and you clicked off the clippers before letting his best friend in, “I got the goods…. Where’s my money?” You scoffed with a smile before waving him off, “So…. We gonna do this like the old days, Taka?” Makki stared at him in confusion as Mattsun sat beside him on the edge of the tub, reaching into the greasy bag and pulling out fries between his pinched finger and thumb. “Say ‘ahhhhhh’…… Don’t make me do the airplane.”

Hanamaki’s confused expression quickly broke into a disbelieving smile to then break into a open smile as he laughed at his friend tried to hand feed him. “Ahhhhhh.” He opened his mouth, and Mattsun delicately placed the fries in Makki’s mouth. “Ah yuck! These are cold!” Makki whined around the frozen fries, chewing and swallowing quickly.

“Well? What do you want from me, man? The nearest fast food is in town, and that’s not exactly a quick car ride since someone-“ His sleepy eyes focused on you pointedly, “-wanted to live like some kind of farmer way out here!”

“We’re in the suburbs of Tokyo, Issei…” You deadpanned, but it didn’t last long at his challenging, playful glare.

“Exaaaaactly! Who lives in the suburbs of Tokyo? Why not actual Tokyo?” He grumbled, grabbing a few fries and eating them himself, “They’re not even that bad.” Makki chuckled at his friends teasing downturned mood before taking the food from his friend.

He stared into the bag. Fries. Chicken. Beef…. Was that stir fry, too? Hanamaki looked at Matsukawa with wide eyes, “You got all this for me?”

Mattsun rubbed the back of his neck with a light blush on his face, “Well… yeah? I mean… You look like you haven’t eaten in weeks, Taka….” His eyes fell to his hands on his lap, feeling his heart aching, “Dont…..” He cleared his throat before looking at Hanamaki seriously. Really serious this time. No goofing around, no jokes, no dusting it off… he was serious as he said, “Don’t scare me like that…. It’s not funny….”

You nodded in agreement, pulling him into a hug once more, though his head was turned to be able to see Matsukawa’s serious expression, “You’re too important to us, Hiro… Please… Take care of yourself….”

Hanamaki felt his heart hiccup into his throat at how much the two of you cared. The two of you had each other. You had Mattsun and he had you…. And yet…. Both of you… still cared about him? It didn’t make any sense to him. That didn’t sound like any soulmates he’d heard of before… Why would his being best friends with the two of you change anything that would happen between soul mates?

“Why do you even care? I’m not…. You guys should just focus on each other…. Don’t worry about me.” But he had to speak over the sound of the clippers being turned on once more, you’d turned them off to drown out his brushing off yours and Mattsun’s worry.

You trailed the guarded clippers across his scalp, clearing another length of hair, then another and another. You made sure to get his entire scalp the same length of shaved pink fuzz… But as you were finishing up on the right side of his face, you froze….

“It doesn’t matter, Taka. You’re our friend. Your my best friend… You think I want to see you starving yourself? Or withering away?” Matsukawa wasn’t going to let what he said go though. He was kind of surprised you had, but he’d picked up the slack instead of wondering what you were thinking. “What’s wrong, Taka? What happened that sent you spiraling?”

“It doesn’t matter, Issei… It’s not a big deal what it was… It just.. did… It’s fine, I’m fine….”

“No you’re not! Tell me, man… what was it?

Hanamaki, obviously, didn’t want to point fingers at yours and Matsukawa’s realization of your tattoos. The trees on your hip and Matsukawa’s ribs…. So obvious. So clear and plain as day… The two of you belonged…. He’d fallen for you, he’d confessed to you the night you confessed to Matsukawa… Everything for the two of you had worked out beautifully… Everything had fallen into place for you two…..

Leaving Hanamaki out in the cold. Feeling more alone than he ever had in his whole life. Feeling as if he was missing something. Feeling as if…..

As if he’d been betrayed somehow.

Before he could even admit to the cause, you were cupping his face again and pulling him in close. He thought for a kiss on the forehead, or nose……..

So he stiffened in surprise when your soft lips pressed against his cracked ones. It wasn’t a peck, it wasn’t a mistaken aim…. You kissed him soft and slow, tender and loving, and it was as if a warm, quiet campfire had been started in his very heart. His cold fingertips slowly started to warm as you pulled back for a split second only to pepper his face in kisses.

Matsukawa stared in utter confusion. Yet… where he thought there would be anger…. Or disagreement…. Or jealousy…. He felt…. Calm and content. Happy with what he was seeing before him. “What…… the fuck?”

You pulled away from your freshly shaven pink haired friend before looking at Mattsun with happy, sparkling eyes, “Issei….. Issei….” You were breathless… From your discovery and your affections to Makki, “The tattoo…. Issei…. The tattoo!” You smiled at Makki again before kissing him again, this time feeling as light as a balloon when he kissed you back just as tenderly.

But as your words registered to both young men, Hanamaki hated himself as he pulled away and stood from the edge of the tub, Matsukawa following him to stand in front of the mirror. Makki tilted and turned his head, and you grabbed your separated hand mirror to hold behind his head…. Revealing the design beneath the pink fuzz.

A tree. Inked into his scalp. Colors everywhere. Matching yours. Matching Matsukawa’s.

“Holy shi-“ Makki didn’t have a chance to finish before large hands grabbed his face and pulled him into a deep kiss. Much hotter in temperature than your cooler hands, Makki’s face felt on fire. Or maybe it was from his joyful blush covering him from head to toe.

He’d found his soul mate…. In you…. In Mattsun.

What a dick place to put a Soul Mate tattoo.

[momentsinsong]

Moments In Song No. 020 - Frankliin

“Moments In Song” asks people one simple question, “What are you listening to?” We believe that you can learn a lot about an individual and their experiences based off of the music they love. For every installment we ask someone to make a playlist of 10 songs they’re listening to, whether it be something new they stumbled upon, or a song they’ve always loved, and explain the story behind their choices. We aim to show that no matter where we come from, what we do, or what we look like, music has the ability to bring us together.

Fresh off of the release of his first EP REFLECT, Frankliin shares a playlist full of songs that invoke old emotions and remind him of why he started making music. We talk to the DMV Producer/DJ about his Metal beginnings, what makes a genius, and the balance between being creative and working a 9 to 5.

Listen to Frankliin’s playlist on Apple Music and Spotify. 

Words and photos by Julian.

_______________________________________________________________________

Julian: What was the thought process behind making your playlist? I know you said earlier it really hard to fit 10 songs on there.

Frankliin: Dude! Picking 10 songs is hard. I even struggle with my DJ sets trying to get like a 45 minute set together. That’s already hard enough, so just 10 songs was like “Fuck.” So my main thing is I wanted all songs that I have some sort of emotional attachment to. So like even some of those songs I’ve fallen in love to. Each one is something that is routinely in my head. Also I just wanted to exhibit some of my talented friends. I’m like, “Y’all are really out here making stuff like this and still homies.” That’s crazy to me.

I noticed that really only the last two songs are more upbeat, while everything else seemed more chill and introspective. Would you say that you did that on purpose, or did it just kind of end of like that? Like that’s just where you are in life right now?

Oh 100%. Even in my live sets I always want an upward progression. So that’s why I kind of wanted to start off kind of calm, because that’s more of the stuff I listen to on a day to day basis. I feel like anyone who knows me would describe me as high energy, but when I’m by myself I’m usually chilling out. I kind of wanted this playlist to reflect that. And then towards the end I wanted to give people something to bop their head to. I don’t know, I just like ramps. Shout out ramps.

Earlier you said the Baby song on your playlist was shown to you by your brother because at that time your parents were not fucking with Hip-Hop. Was it all Hip-Hop/Rap , or was it just new music in general?

I mean my parents liked Hip-Hop, but they were trying to shelter me. I was definitely sheltered a lot growing up, and my brother was not. So he would always show me shit and be like, “Don’t tell mom and dad I showed you this,” which made it even better because you’re doing shit you shouldn’t be. I have this profound memory that will not leave, and it’s fine that it won’t. My brother was driving after taking me to go see a movie, and where I live it’s near a swamp, and so we were driving through it and it’s pitch black, and then that song came on. As soon as I heard it, I was like, “What the hell is this?” It just matched the mood, the pockets they were choosing, the percussion. Everything the Clipse, Pharrell, The Neptunes made always just blows my mind. Even now that music is still ahead of its time. That’s definitely been something that was an initial influence, that’s resurged now with time.

With your parents having that view on music, how’d they feel once you started making music? And has that view changed since then?

So if it were up to my parents, I’d continue being an engineer working a 9 to 5, with a health care plan, a steady girlfriend, thinking about marrying and having kids, just simple shit. They’re baby boomers, and that's what they wanted, and that’s what they expect I wanted. There’s nothing wrong with parents that want you to be happy, but I’ve had a taste of those things and I don’t want it. That’s been a point of conflict with that. Long story short they were not happy with it. Even though I’m not anywhere close to where I want to be, I feel like now with me traveling and making money from it, they’re starting to warm up to it. Every time I do a show my dad is like, “Are you getting paid?” It’s never, “Oh was it fun? Did you have a good time?” it’s just “Are you getting paid?” But now my dad is 100% for it, he’s come to shows and stuff. My mom is still warming up to it. She’s even freaked out about me leaving the county, so me going overseas for shows, she lost it.

But I feel like you doing shows overseas, and releasing full projects that are being well-received, will eventually get things to click with them.

Yeah. And also I just had to learn to be like, “Fuck what everyone else thinks. Do what you want.” Like literally last night I had a conversation with Juice the bouncer at Velvet Lounge, shout out Juice, and we were talking about geniuses and stuff like that and he was just like, “I really don’t think there’s such a thing as a genius. It’s just people doing what they wanted and not giving a fuck about the status quo.” Which is why people think they’re so revolutionary and ask why they didn’t think of that, and it because you’re following the status quo.

When did you start making music, and then at what point did you realize you could actually do something with it?

I started making music when I was like 16, I’m 24 now. Time fucking flies. I never really did it seriously, my main thing was always school. I have a degree in engineering and that’s all I was focused on. I literally didn’t have summer vacations except for like 2 weeks, and those were a dope two weeks.

Really? What’d you do the rest of summer? 

I literally went to space camp dude.

I mean that’s kind of cool.

I mean it was cool until I asked some dude how much do you make working on spaceships and he was like, “We don’t make enough, stop asking me questions!” and that just killed my dream as a little kid.

How do you not make enough building spaceships?

He probably did, he was just being a jerk. And at that age you’re super impressionable, and experiences like that can fuck you up. That dream kind of died with that moment. So the music thing basically started with my friends and I listening to Metal, and then wanting to start a Metal band, and so I started playing bass. That was in middle school, and we were listening to bands like Asking Alexandria, Suicide Silence, I Set My Friends On Fire, and that’s how I got really into music. And then with time and with skateboarding, I got into electronic music. Me and friends would be messing around on FL Studios and this NuMark Mixtrack Pro he got from a thrift store for like $100. We’d be passing it around between the 5 of us and that’s how I learned to DJ. We would be producing together, trying to impress each other, and everyone was lowkey pushing me the hardest. It wasn’t like I was trying to be the best, it was just that I was having so much fun.

Was this still in Middle School, or was this High School now?

This is High School. It was all just fun in the beginning, and then I kind of gave it up when I went to my first year of college. I was just so focused on school and everything, and I was trying so hard and I just sucked so bad at college. I was a 4.0 and up student, and I went from that to losing my scholarship. In high school I was good with girls and then when I went to college I couldn’t get a girl to save my life. It was like everything that defined me just didn’t happen anymore. The only thing I really still had was music. It was either after my Freshman/Sophmore Year, I was just like I can’t fucking do this anymore. I had never had a summer off since I was in 6th grade. I told my mom I wasn’t taking summer classes and that I needed some time, and that was met with a lot of resistance. After that is when I did my first show as Frankliin, and that was at the Creative Block with Kleonaptra, it was her first show too. Afterwards I was like, “Damn, I’m trying to do this more.” I still wanted to do school, but then with time I wanted to do music more. I still planned to finish school, for myself and for my parents, and now that I’ve finished school I’m at a point where I’m doing the rat race of the 9 to 5 life. Whenever I’m doing this music stuff, or these tours, I never feel anywhere near as alive or satisfied doing anything else. I’d take the pay cut any day it if means I could do that. Without hesitation.

You said earlier that your playlist is made up of songs that invoke some sort of emotion in you. What would you say is the emotion you're trying to invoke with the music from your latest project, REFLECT?

I really wanted to step out of my comfort zone and put out something that felt like a piece of me, a fragmented story I always wanted to tell. REFLECT is a pretty on the nose name for it in all honesty. Each song is like a window into a relationship, whether it be my own, or spoken by the featured vocalists (LIA, xxpetejames and Martin. J. Ballou). Although it may seem kind of bleak, I feel like it’s conveyed that you can come out from tough times as a better more seasoned person.

Connect with Frankliin:

https://twitter.com/iamfrankliin

https://www.instagram.com/iamfrankliin/

https://soundcloud.com/iamfrankliin

Connect with Moments In Song:

https://www.instagram.com/momentsinsong/

https://twitter.com/moments_in_song

https://tinyurl.com/MISAppleMusic

https://tinyurl.com/MISSpotify

[nautilusopus]

i'm SUPER SORRY to ask but could you elaborate on toxoplasma? it sounds really interesting!

My dude

Do NOT apologise for this

Now we get to have a very long conversation about three of my favourite topics: the nature of identity, parasitic mind control (which is a real-ass thing), and my all-time favourite parasite, Toxoplasma gondii.

Strap in, y’all, we’re gonna be here for a while. (And I guess a trigger warning for body horror, because these are parasites we’re talking about and it is me talking about them.)

Okay, so before we really dive into the parasite itself, let’s go over a brief parasite refresher so when I start throwing ideas around it makes a little more sense. 

The most common conception people have of parasites is that they’re basically germs-but-they’re-worms – you catch ‘em from other things that had the parasites in it and they’ll just hang out wherever. And while this is, on its face, true, the reality is a bit more complicated.

there are like no good picture of these things

These guys are Leucochloridium, more pronouncably-known as broodsacs, a genus of parasitic trematodes. The ones in the picture in particular are L. paradoxum, the green-banded broodsac. They, like myself, really super like birds! All sorts of birds! In fact, if they could they’d spend all their time inside a bird, because bird digestive systems are where it lives out most of its reproductive cycle, maturing, breeding, and eating the things the bird eats. The bird is its definitive host.

Unfortunately for the broodsac, birds also move things out of their digestive systems, most notably birdshit, which tends to have a lot of perfectly good worm eggs in it. Fortunately for the broodsac, guess what loves eating birdshit?

Finger-lickin’ good.

Snails, as it turns out. The snail is what we call an intermediate host: it is necessary for the propagation of the species, but really is more of a go-between than its target species. The parasite is now doing its parasite thing where it’s now inside something, but this isn’t really where it wants to be. It can’t really do much, and it doesn’t actually eat snail. The broodsac needs to get itself back into a bird somehow so it can complete its life cycle and lay more eggs, and do all the great things that come with being inside a bird’s digestive system in general. 

You should all be thanking me I take as many creative liberties as I do when writing about parasites in fiction.

Upon hatching, the worms force themselves into the snail’s eyestalks and pump them full of embryos, causing the eyestalks to swell and pulse, resembling a pair of delicious insect larva, good for a nice cozy bird to eat. The snail is further tempted by the parasite to move out into the open where it’s easily picked off by subconsciously influencing it to head towards light, where it’s promptly snapped up by a bird, and is back where it wants to be, inside its digestive system. There, it can mature, mate, have more eggs that get pooped out, and the cycle starts all over again. 

Intermediate hosts are a part of many parasitic life cycles – lancet liver flukes compelling ants to climb to the top of blades of grass so they’ll be eaten by cows is probably one of the more obvious examples. Parasites influencing behaviour subconsciously is common, too – hairworms and guinea worms compelling their hosts towards water, fig wasps and their behaviour-changing virus of the same name, and the infamous Cordyceps. 

So, now that we know how intermediate hosts work and the strings the parasites in them will pull to get back into whatever guts they want to be in, what does this have to do with T. gondii, the Best Protozoa?

Let’s preface this by saying two things before anyone starts worrying about catching it:

50% of the population has T. gondii eggs in their brains right now. I probably do, I certainly fit the profile (more on that later). I’m still kicking, you will be too. 

This is harmless because your immune system beats it into submission. You will only ever notice in two circumstances. A) you get HIV and your immune system stops working, making way for all sorts of opportunistic diseases. This is known as toxoplasmosis, where said eggs can actually hatch and start eating your brain. You’ve probably heard of this through the Martin Shkreli fiasco – the drug he was price gouging combated this. Your other option is B) if you’re pregnant. There’s a reason anyone pregnant is advised to stay away from litterboxes, and this is why, because YES at that stage it is absolutely airborne. While you might be able to shrug off the spores without so much as a cold, your unborn foetus with its developing immune system cannot. 

And now that I’ve brought up litterboxes, let’s talk about T. gondii’s definitive host, the housecat. 

A good girl!!! Harbinger of existential despair!!!!!! 

In a lot of ways, T. gondii acts pretty similar to broodsacs. It likes being in a cat, reproduces inside cats, lays eggs inside cats, is an all-around cat fan, and then in the tragedy to end all tragedies, is pissed out. Usually into a litterbox, and that’s no good. 

Enter the intermediate host, the rat. 

Normally in healthy rats, a rat smelling cat pee will realise that there is a cat in fact around and book it in the opposite direction. An infected rat, however, will become extremely curious about the source of said cat pee and boldly seek it out. The source of 99.9% of cat pee tends to be a cat. Which then eats them, because cat. The parasite is now back where it wants to be, the circle of life, hakuna matata or whatever.

Curiosity about cats killed the rat, or something like that. 

Rats aren’t the only thing around cats anymore that can be infected through airborne pee spores, though. What happens when the spores are inhaled by a human?

Here’s where things get a bit weird and speculative, because people are still arguing over whether or not this is correlation or causation or both or neither, so here goes. 

Humans are, for all intents and purposes, a dead end for T. gondii, and make for a really lousy intermediate host. Unless something really fucks up somewhere in your life, we generally don’t get eaten by cats. But that doesn’t mean we’re immune to the first part of T. gondii’s machinations; namely, subconsciously being drawn towards cats. Nearly everyone with the parasite likes cats, has a cat, et cetera. But there are other patterns, too. Infectees tend to be more socially outgoing, more prone to taking risks, and have very slightly slowed reflexes. Women tend to spend money more freely, and are less likely to keep consistently to a time schedule. Men tend to not care much for things like formal dress and keeping up appearances, and tend to be more aggressive and highly prone to things like anxiety. Infectees in general tend to have more partners, have less regard for their own safety, and be perceived as more outwardly charismatic. Bold, even. Curious. 

In case you hadn’t noticed, these are also all behaviours that tend to put you into contact with a large number of nice, infectable people, ripe for egg-laying real estate, or get your inside fluids on the outside, one way or another.

On the other hand, people that test negative for T. gondii overwhelmingly have dogs, and trend towards the opposite personality traits.

Here’s the kicker: Were these infected people cat people beforehand – hated following rules, related to animals that gave as little of a shit about that sort of thing as they did – got a cat, and then got infected? Or were they driven towards cats, have the personality traits that they do, because T. gondii wants them to? Which came first, the cat or the egg? 

Honestly, who even knows. People have talked in circles about it for ages, and maybe we’ll get an answer, maybe we won’t. But it’s something that I think about quite a bit. This thing is my favourite parasite for a reason. 

Is everything about you a product of one parasite or another, or are your parasites a product of who you are? Are you reckless and full of worms, or are you full of worms and therefore reckless? Do you even like your cat? Or do you like it because the things nestled in your brain want you to, driving you towards its definitive host, in the vain hope that maybe one day it’ll make it back in there?

i dunno, man

cat cute