#the group chat is in SHAMBLES

[trashbaget]

.

[magicstormfrostfire]

[majorbaby]

what i need anyone who is heartbroken by the results of any highly scientific mash poll to know is that if it hits over 1k votes, it has broken containment and there are people voting on it who, much like myself from three years ago, can barely tell Trapper and BJ apart. if it's any consolation, I promise that those people have been similarly devastated when a favourite white boy of theirs lost miserably in some other fandom poll.

[andro-dino]

shogun steel main gang hcs bc I’m thinking about them atm and how much I love them

- I’ve said this a billion times before but I’ll keep saying it until I die, they are very affectionate with each other. Of course, it depends on the specific people and how their feeling at certain times, but they will take any opportunity to cuddle or hold hands or just generally have some kind of contact with each other for comfort. idc if this is ooc canon is what I make of it

- Ren and kite bonding over being petty third wheels to Zyro and Shinobu is an idea that is so important to me you have no idea. They will argue with each other and be dumb any other time but instantly bond over hating on those two being losers

- This is one of my hyper specific projection moments but ren specifically any time she sees them being remotely affectionate to each other at all will immediately turn to the nearest person and go “get a load of these guys”

- underrated duo dynamic is ren and takanosuke being wlw mlm rivals/besties/gossip buddies. you just know they share the most scalding of tea while training with each other

- actually I just really appreciate their dynamic as a whole. they’re both very ambitious and headstrong bladers who are constantly working their hardest to grow and improve and I think they’d really bring out the best in each other. They have some great friendly banter thrown in there too. neither of them are afraid to throw in some really funny disses

- maru is such a creechur I really cannot appreciate that enough. she has adopted everyone as a big sibling and there’s nothing they can do to stop it, she just perched on their shoulder one day and there was nothing they could do to stop it

- the only exception to this is with kite and eight, because eight and maru are like two cats who don’t like each other being mutually stanced up and staring each other down in anticipation for one of them to pounce

- eight once was showing off a bunch of skateboard tricks and Zyro was like “psh that’s easy I could do that” and immediately ate shit and died and eight laughed at him for hours and has never let him live it down since

- kite likes to pretend he doesn’t care about any of them but takes really careful notice of their likes and dislikes and makes sure to accommodate for everyone when he can and gives them really banger gifts on special occasions but frames it as him being like “I know I know I can make and find such amazing things that’s just how it is for mr perfect” and the others are like “kite holy shit this is so kind of you thank you so much????” and he tries really really hard to pretend like he doesn’t really enjoy hearing that

- sakyo does not know how to interact with any of the main gang on his own outside of beyblade but he and taka are a package deal so he tends to tag along whenever takanosuke hangs out with any of them and he’s like the awkward cousin at a family party who just sits in the corner silently bc he doesn’t know how to approach anyone

- I think it would be funny if eight randomly started hanging out with him in that way that little kids do when they just decide they like you all of a sudden and sakyo just has no idea how to deal with that but ig he’s got a snarky little dude hanging out with him now and asking if he’s got any games on his phone

- benkei does not hide the fact that ren is his favorite child. he loves all of his kids dearly but ren is his daughter and hes very attached because he sees a lot of himself in her and wants her to be less dumb than he was when he was younger (may or may not be drawing a comic with this exact premise atm)

- this one’s kind of off track but I’ve thought abt it a lot in the past and started thinking abt it again. Kenta takes a shining to sakyo and kinda takes a bit of a mentor role over him accidentally and at some point Sakyo’s like “you act like you’re so much older than me but our age gap isn’t even that big (bc I hc sakyo as like 15-16 and ss Kenta as 18-19)” and Kenta’s like “well yeah but im the adult here?? I kinda just figured???” idk it’s just a neat dynamic I like a lot

- Shinobu and Ren go clothes shopping together. Ren likes spending Shinobu’s money and they bond over what they like, stuff they could share if they wanted to, and also shit talking stuff they think is ugly

- all of them get in really stupid arguments over the dumbest things. they’ve had big group debates over which flavor of ice cream is the best or whether or not cilantro tastes like soap

that is all for now they r very important to me thank you and goodnight

[otherotheracc]

in a real fucky mood today

[themoonshoes]

"silva visits him with the excuse of reuniting with his friend from his youth, and they do indeed celebrate their meeting,"

HELLO. HI. SO

[hamtaro-gifs]

group chat in shambles

[tiyoin]

Taking a step back from twisted singer reader (I'll be back). I really want to expand/give origins ideas to the group chat(s?). Like how reader got the phone, how they got added and other things. Btw love who added that

With that said I'm starting a new agenda: ✨Grandfather Mozus Trein :D✨ Everyone knows that Crowley is *cough* neglectful & irresponsible *cough* always there for his students and never once put himself first 🤠. I feel like reader low-key reminds Trein of Anastasia (red hair) ya know? Maybe it's how reader plays with their hair when they start getting bored or the doodles on the written exams. All these little habits they share. Just an old man missing his family.

Someone has to be a responsible adult for reader and who else is better then a father with so much wisdom. He knows Yuu has a way of communicating and protecting himself so he isn't as concerned ,but poor reader can't do that to save their life :(

So I can see Trein giving them(mostly reader) a phone (B4 book 4). It's nothing new or special; it has an old blue case with a fading pattern and skuffs. The best part about it is Trein paying the bill. The wallpaper is changed to Grimm napping tho

It's kinda an unspoken rule that reader keeps it for the most part. With Yuu and all the things he tends to get into it would last a week if he was lucky.

More then likely the only numbers in the phone are Aduce/ maybe the other first years and Trein ,but I don't really see any of them be texters tbh. So not much coming in. Maybe a few homework questions??

As for apps a see maybe 2-ish games 👁️👄➖

Over all, it's just a classic antisocial person's phone. Until Cater finds out. Next time Yuu has the phone Carter tells him what should be added and how to #sign up for them. And Yuu being the person he is asks "Cater how do I help my introvert make friends?" Cater being the #helpful upperclassmen is he downloads the app and sends the invite.

The app they use is probably the twst discord. I think that's the only social idia has/honestly uses Some of them has like a cover for the icon. Like no one can know they use that app for whatever reason.

Everyone besides reader kinda knows what account belongs to which person. To add a bit of anonymous(ness?). Cuz no way would reader give her honest opinion about Rook or someone else if she knew that they themselves/close friends are in the chat.

Imagine if one of the guys that reader doesn't get along with ends up being one of reader's close/safe online friend. Like idk if you know who Aphmau is but she has a Minecraft roleplay PDH (don't judge me plss) where Aph and Aaron don't like each other irl but are really close online friends.

I'm sorry if my asks tend to be all over the place. I get sided tracked a lot and end up spacing out every 10 works. This was written between 3-5ish am. Also 👉👈 I think the reason we're on the same brain wave is cuz we're air signs.

Also thank you for liking/replying to my ask/yapping ☺️ it's means a lot to me

I've been waiting to get a Mac charger just to answer this ask🤭

GRANDFATHER TREIN IS SOMETHING I DID NOT KNOW I NEEDED BUT GLAD I GOT

because we always see crewel v crowley for custody over yuu.

but I defiantly agree with you that trein would see one of his daughters; especially anastasia in reader. whether it's by a few habits they both share, or how they're sometimes second fiddle to their more out going companion. but trein can see reader's life falling into shambles the more they're in twisted wonderland, the more they're isolated, and it kills him as both a father and educator.

and believe it or not, he cares about his students. they may not think so and curse him in the hallways, but they'll be thanking him in years to come, they always do (he prides himself in that, and the line of students he has at reunions telling him they're the best teacher they ever had.)

so maybe he pulls reader aside after class, ofc he can tell how tense they are, how nervous they are... especially by how intense their eye contact is, a little creepy but trein understands. he tells them to sit down in a chair he magically spawned as he flicks his head at lucien. who is all too glad to use you as a chair. he can see reader visibly relax as they're testing the water's with the temperamental feline, but trein starts talking.

he wants to help them, as he wouldn't be doing his job as an educator if he just stood by and watched you struggle. how he would have failed the pledge he made to crowley and himself if he let one os his students fall under the radar in favor for his smarter ones.

yes that should sting but it's the truth, and to no fault of your own. you obviously had... less than stupor teaching before this, and you have to catch up on a decades worth of stuff due to your... situation. and he is willing to help you during both lunch hours and free period. he also recommends student tutors for this and is willing to work out some kind of deal between you and the tutors. he wants to see you succeed. not just to prove he can turn a pumpkin into a carriage, but because you deserve it.

maybe you're not so much like his biological daughter, but like his step daughter. the one with a soul of diamond but a heart of glass. and if reader ever needs someone trustworthy (and he emphasizes this) that isn't actively split-dying their hair in their thirties or prances around with a bird mask then he is always open.

no matter how burdenous they feel relying on him, or if they think the matters are silly. he will tell it to them straight. he also suggests talking to cater diamond of heartslabyul, that if anyone can help you make friends, its that chatterbox.

dont even try to refute it cause trein AND lucien will be sporting you an unimpressed look.

but I swear to everything cater has a fucking NOSE- a sniffer if you would for introverts. or he has mastered chenya's invisibility spell and over heard your conversation because- I AGREE WITH YOU- yuu would 100% ask cater to help his little ol' introvert make friends.

so he seeks them out, grabs their phone while chatting away, and downloads 'magi cord' dw yuu is there too. cater even goes a step further and adds his contact to their phone because 'tehe he has the elusive reader's number and no body else does! #1inamillion #hewon! #he'sgonnaextrovertsohardit'llmakeyourheadspin 😼

but later that night you're fighting to go on the app when cater sends you a link, the second message he sends you (with 'hey hey! it's your fav upper classmen cay-cay here!' with an obnoxious amount of emojis, being the first)

it's a link to a magi cord group chat called; raven of secrets. (or smthn idk, I pulled that out of my ass) and he explains that the whole point of that group chat is to remain anonymous. there's a handful of members from different dorms and that's all you're supposed to know.

they talk about gossip, homework, assignments etc. the more he talks about it the more it sounds like a secret society. but nonetheless, you join.

and all hell breaks loose 🤭

personally I think that only a few people know who is who in the chat group. like the organizer because they gotta make sure everyone who has the link is an nrc student. and obviously there's a few friends who gave other people the link or joined together. but there's also active polls where people debate who is who.

just so it gives them the extra comfort of anonymity.

IMAGINE SOME ADMITS TO STALKING POOR READER AND IT TURNS INTO A THRILLER AHHHH (everyone knows who rook is. not because of his French, but because of his detailed posts)

--

NO CAUSE I WAS ALSO AN APHMAU FAN HAHAHAH I used to eat her role plays up. but watching them now... they're super cringe and I can barely watch an episode of phoenix drop high 😭

and dont even worry about it 'being all over the place because I am literally like that and it's so fun being able to bounce all over the place hehe

AND YAY ANOTHER AIR SIGN😽

[formulapai]

KNEW IT!

an Alex Albon fluff scenario 🧡

scenario: when Alex appears in his famous “best friend” ’s live stream while shirtless, internet breaks, and so does the twitch quartet’s group chat.

warning: curse words, semi-nudity (Alex is shirtless), 18+ jokes

pai’s words: all my love to lily but I just HAD to write this with him..

“NOOOOOOO, why did I do that ?”

Screaming in agony, Y/N and their thousands of viewers watch the character fall while the other players keep on running around. It was a dumb move really, they had to wait for the inclined platform to move closer but they didn’t wait enough and jumped right in the void, effectively losing the game. As much as Fall Guys is fun, especially for the viewers, the young adult is becoming more and more frustrated.

It started as a dumb bet made on twitter(X), as usual. And it’s not going well.

“No, guys, I SWEAR I can finish first, just wait ! Oh, thanks a lot user ynfanacc for the subscription, it means a lot !”

Smiling and talking with their chat, they are waiting for a new game to load so they can prove their worth and finally win. As a pretty popular streamer, they livestream pretty much everything, from random reacts to indie games, while not forgetting formula one related stuffs. This is mainly what makes them as known as they are, the way they can do anything and still make it entertaining and interesting.

Added to that, of course, is their close friendship with Alex, the Williams’ driver. Inseparable since their childhood, the two of them went through everything together and the whole world know this, the lingering questions about the real nature of their relationship hanging in the air. Officially, they are strictly best friends, bullying each other on social medias and celebrating together no matter what. Only themselves know what is happening behind closed doors, or well, that was true only seconds ago.

“Hey, babe, d’you know where my phone is ?”

It all happens in slow motion, Y/N spinning right towards the voice, the chat going wild, a very bare-chested, only-wearing-briefs Alex on full display in their live. The streamer doesn’t know how the pilot didn’t realize they were live, as they had been shouting and very clearly speaking with people for the past hour. Still, it’s now done and they have to react quickly, spinning back towards their computer, they hurriedly logs off without uttering a word while the man behind them curses and apologizes.

“Oh shit, fuck, I didn’t notice you were live, I’m so sorry babe I swear I didn’t know”

Sighing, Y/N stares at their black screen before getting up from their chair and walking towards Alex, slapping his chest slightly before leaning against it.

“-You’re so dumb.

-I know, I know, I’m sorry love, I really am.

-Well, what do we do now ? Jump right inside the storm and announce it or just ignore it and wait ?

-I mean, I’m pretty sure all internet is now aware of what happened so..

-Yeah, I’ll make an insta story. Dumbass.”

The man follows his lover towards their bedroom like a lost puppy, sitting on the bed next to them while they open the app up. In the corner of the room, under one of his shirt laying on the floor, he sees something light up and soon realizes it’s his phone, getting up to snatch it before laying back down next to his partner. As much as he expected his fans, and theirs, to be in shambles, he didn’t expect the 50+ messages from his three friends in their group chat. Snorting, he opens the chat and scroll quickly through what he’s missed before replying.

perceval: talk about a soft launch eh..

landon’t: BRO I KNEW IT!!!!! WTF

georgia: I’m so betrayed rn I don’t even know what to say

landon’t: ALBONO GOT GAMESSSSS

perceval: never wanted to see this much of Alex, someone pass me the bleach asap

georgia: you could’ve at least put some pants on, bro

landon’t: boi was busy BUSY 😏😏😏

georgia: ew

perceval: ew

me: ew

georgia: ALEXWTF

perceval: he’s here!! the traitor is here !! the filthy, lying sneak is here !!

me: you guys are just dramatic

landon’t: YOU HID YOUR RELATIONSHIP WTH MAN WE TRUSTED YOU

me: well… ily guys (ew) but I can’t say I trust your big blabbermouths with secrets like this

georgia: tf

peceval: tf

landon’t: tf

Snickering, the young man lets his phone fall on the bed and turns to his other half, still focused on making the perfect insta story about the situation. That was one of the things he deeply loved about them, while they may seem chaotic, explosive for those who don’t know them, they truly are meticulous and thoughtful, careful with every little things they do, every little things they say. They’re pure and sincere, a kind soul with only good intentions, and that’s everything Alex needs. His friends may act surprised, they all knew that deep down, the two souls were tied from the very beginning, and it was only a matter of time until they realized.

After some minutes, the other huffs and finally turns their phone towards the man laying down, showing him their hard work. If it were up to him, a simple sentence or two with would have been enough, he doesn’t really care about people’s opinion and whatsoever, but he knows they do, so he carefully takes the phone and look at the screen. It’s actually pretty simple considering how long it took, a picture of the two of them and a text. He smiles his usual broad smile at them and nods, taking the opportunity to kiss their cheek, despite their halfhearted complain.

[nytb]

Not That Blaugrana

Click Here first <3

Blaugrana, catalan for blue and red and in Y/N's case; her next colors, but not those of Fc Barcelona. Last minute, rumors shifted. Lyon's interest in Frankfurt's star was made public and Y/N loved it.

Staying in Germany wasn't in her plans. Once upon a time, Frankfurt had given Y/N everything she wanted, served it up on a silver platter - but what she truly desired - beating Fc Barcelona on the big stage? They couldn't provide it.

Back in Barcelona, everybody was convinced that Y/N would sign for them, the board, the dressing room, the fans - everybody was getting ready for her return, at the end of the day, Y/N was a La Masia graduate and as she showed, she was more culé than Cruyff himself.

Or that's what they thought.

'Y/N, Frankfurt's star leaves the Germans for the French giants', 'Y/N on the move: Lyon pay a record signing fee for the Spaniard'

The media was going crazy, the biggest transfer upset just happened - the ultimate backstabbing - Y/N kept Fc Barcelona on their toes until the final second, signing for the French club instead.

Fans were heartbroken, Barca shirts with her name and number were thrown out, some even burned. Y/N had made culé's hearts tear to shreds.

The Barcelona group chat? In shambles - shade being thrown, blaming teammates, crying, feelings of betrayal. Y/N had managed to break the dressing room with a simple signature.

Y/N's phone blew up, on the other side Mapi was close to tears, angry at her decision. What did this mean for them?

"Why why why" the defender muttered as soon as her lover picked up the phone. Mapi relentlessly called Y/N, not taking silence for an answer "I thought you were happy here" Leon was slowly giving up on their 'love story'.

"Cutie, I told you - this was never serious for me" Y/N knew of the pain she was inflicting, but she didn't stop "We are only fuck buddies" she laughed "Great ones"

The defender was heartbroken, all her fantasies, her future - a future with Y/N playing in their backyard with their German Shepherd, their firstborn hanging from Y/N's neck, their house: a three bedroom bungalow filled with plants, filled with love, a house on a field in the Catalan countryside - its was all broken, lying on the floor like shattered glass after a hurricane.

Y/N had turned into Mapi's Alexia. The person who now betrayed the defender in a way that tore the defender apart. Was she not good enough for Y/N?

It was a tough pill to swallow, but the defender pushed through. Having the Catalonian by her side - in any capacity - was enough for her; at least for now.

Ignoring her team's feelings on the matter, Mapi helped Y/N set up her apartment in France. A lovely two bedroom penthouse, uncluttered, minimalist, the whole of Lyon on display from her balcony. That view at night, the shining stars, the warm breeze, the constant noise.

It was everything Y/N loved, something that contrasted with Leon's pursuit of calmness, quiet, peace.

Shirts being ripped, uncontrollable hands traveling across their bodies, nails dug into the defender's back releasing all the pleasure she caused, hickeys decorating each other's bodies.

Y/N's first days in France were a dream, with the blonde defender by her side, amazing food, breathtaking sex. She had everything she desired.

Things changed, the role Mapi played in Y/N's life became significant. Unwavering trust, undeniable chemistry, Y/N could no longer remain unreachable. Something had to give in.

Both stars were having the season of their lives. Who knew that being on top of your game required trips across Europe.

Mapi's Barcelona were, like always, ruling the league and national cups. Scoring goals for fun, automatisms returned: no pass failed to get to its destination.

For Y/N's Lyon, it looked promising. Unbeaten in the league, perfect cup run thus far, injuries kept to a minimum. It looked like the French giants were returning to their roots.

Champions league ahead, chaos struck - Y/N had had enough - the pressure finally gave in, everything crumbled to the ground.

"We have to talk" their date couldn't have started in a worse way "I can't just be on your speed dial every time you want to get back at somebody" the defender's declaration ignited rage inside Y/N.

Sure, Y/N had called Mapi for instant pleasure anytime something went wrong and contrary to what the public saw; a lot of things were going south for Y/N.

Her incorporation to the team hadn't gelled; sidelined by teammates, everybody knew of her culé past, her fling with the Spanish defender, they all doubted Y/N's reasons for choosing Lyon over her beloved club. Was she Barcelona's secret weapon?

"You know what" Y/N exploded, standing explosively from her chair, their romantic dinner date came to an end "I'm tired of this shit, you think that you ever were anything more than a way for me to get revenge?" That was it, no going back now "Get over yourself Leon, we're done"

Y/N left Barcelona that night, promising herself that her return would bring pain to whoever had wronged her.

Weeks of hurt, loneliness, crying. Both stars were now aching. Y/N's words had left her mouth without giving herself a chance to think. Was she regretting her choices? Her words?

An ego too big to beg for forgiveness, Y/N stuck with her decision; maybe a clean break with anything that came with a Barcelona tag attached was necessary.

Diving head first into football, Y/N slowly gained Lyon's trust. Her goals were celebrated by the whole team, individual celebratory handshakes with her new soulmates - Ada Hegerberg; their hatred for the Blaugrana club brought them together - and Van De Donk; their recent party antics made them the perfect duo.

Parties paid by Y/N's checks, the wage she was getting from Lyon was more than enough to rent out mansions just for fun. The dressing room was now united, they had unwavering trust in Y/N. They now knew that she was on their side.

Y/N was now their star.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i think you're onto something with the romance novels world and plot points needing to mirror the kind of outlandishness of the love story. bc the main characters are already inherently acting absurd just by falling madly in love in a month or whatever and then if you add in the contrivances of romance tropes, it starts to feel like whiplash trying to pretend the characters live in any sort of grounded "normal" world. Like when the author adds in a family conflict subplot where the MC is like in absolute shambles because her mom said something slightly passive aggressive at lunch. that reads as more jarring to me than like conflict being something ridiculous that her mom doesn't want her being a marine biologist bc they come from a long line of fishmongers. Give me absurd drama to match the over the top dialogue and character emotions, I knew it would be unrealistic it's a romance novel! I guess this applies more to romcoms, but the same would apply I think to an analogous serious scenario. Or at least that's my take on it

okay so having just finished genuinely the most boring romance novel I have ever read in my LIFE I'm going to expand on this a little so thank you for sending an ask that gives me such a great platform to do that

I personally generally prefer a romance that just gets fucking silly with it, like really outlandish. A Lady for the Duke (Alexis Hall) is obviously the dream, being a whole swoony historical trans-affirming fantasy, but contemporary fake relationship stories can also be fun in their sheer ridiculousness, like Love, Hate, and Clickbait (Liz Bowery), which I actually liked, and Unfortunately Yours (Tessa Bailey), which I did not like but was very funny. and let's not forget queen Helen Hoang's Bride Test, which has a premise that dances perilously close to human trafficking but all works out in the end!!!

BUT HAVING SAID THAT. I don't think that something needs to be totally implausible to be a good romance. two of my very favorites romance novels anywhere ever are Helen Hoang's Heart Principle (no one should be surprised Hoang is on her twice I adore her) and Akwaeke Emezi's You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty. both of these books are very grounded in reality but with very uncommon situations to heighten emotions and add urgency; in Hoang's case it's a character's adult autism diagnosis + death of a parent and in Emezi's case it's a very sudden and #problematic attraction coming out of absolutely nowhere. the stakes are very real, mostly centering around being true to yourself v disappointing your family, but the circumstances are still wild enough to make you say "god DAMN" and keep turning pages. hell, I'll even be extremely generous and include Mistakes Were Made (Meryl Wilsner) which is kind of a flop but does have the intriguing premise of "what if you were fucking a milf but her kid was YOUR BEST FRIEND and it was a secret?"

those are like the two sweet spots TO ME, and this book I just read (which was Thank You for Sharing by Rachel Runya Katz, I feel so bad putting it on blast but I know people are going to ask) really solidified it for me because TYFS didn't fall into either of those categories. I'm going to say something absolutely insane, which is that multiple times while I was reading it I found myself wishing that the book was fanfic, because on its own it just... didn't bring a lot to the table? it falls into the grounded category but doesn't really bring any of those heightened stakes to the story, it's just 330 pages of people in their late twenties complaining about dating and their office jobs. if I wanted that I could just ask my group chat! there's nothing particularly particularly gripping about watching made up strangers do it!

but then I was like oh hang on... if this was two fictional characters who are usually fighting with swords or throwing cars at each other or something this would be so gripping. it's literally the coffee shop AU principle, right? like seeing people in a very mundane setting having an office job and going to a bar is very shrimpteresting when they're normally defusing space bombs. I was explaining this to my housemates and I couldn't think of a straight couple to apply it to (the book is m/f) so I said Naruto and Sasuke, which is crazy because I've never seen a single episode of Naruto, but like. idk Naruto being a museum curator who has to work with Sasuke, a marketing specialist who he had beef with a summer camp 14 years ago, sounds kind of compelling, right? definitely more than just two people I don't know.

there's a post on here that I think about a lot that talks about why advertising a story with tropes doesn't work for original fiction as well as it does for fan fic because knowing the tropes is more helpful when you already have a sense of investment in the characters and their personalities, and I think this is related to that! I think sometimes you NEED to have a wider sense of scope for the characters for them to be interesting in a very mundane setting!

ANYWAY. much to consider, etc.

[im-queen-of-the-black-forest]

kthnxbai ~

Tales from the Ghoul group chat

💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬

PrincessRainy: who tf keeps changing my name?

~~~PrincessRainy changed their name to RainItIn~~~

~~~SwistopherWalken changed RainItIn’s name to PrincessRainy~~~

PrincessRainy: LISTEN YOU TOOTHY BASTARD

💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬

4:06 AM- Message from:

MountAndDoMe: *accompanied by a blurry picture, clearly taken in the woods, of many white blobs in various sizes* I got so many more teeth than I was expecting today!

CumulativeGPA: Deeply ominous thing to say friend

💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬

SunnyBoner :what kind of brain space are you giving?

PhannyDantom: like, 45%? The rest is mental illness and work.

SunnyBoner: Your mind Budgeting is in shambles.

💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬

AtheOfBathe: You’ll be happy to know I’m out

AuroraBoreanaz: Out…of where?

AtheOfBathe: Out of pictures

AuroraBoreanaz: Oh ok! I thought you had been released.

AtheOfBathe: Nope! Still stuck in the pit.

AuroraBoreanaz: Thank Satan. Also bring me back a doughnut plz

💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬

3:45AM- Message from:

DewDaBaDeeDaBaDie: Have you ever felt like a mother lifting a bus?

12:14PM

SwisstopherWalken: Elaborate

DewDaBaDeeDaBaDie: Can not. I do not remember sending this

WhySoCirrus: into the collection it goes

DewDaBaDeeDaBaDie: what collection?

WhySoCirrus: mine

SwisstopherWalken: of what?

WhySoCirrus: cursed things you dipshits say at ass-o’clock in the morning

💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬

BONUS: The Papa Group chat

Terzetto: Anyone else think it’s a bit Muggy out today?

PrimHoe: If I walk outside and find every mug I own on the ground I’m sacrificing you to the old one

Terzetto: did you know you can drink coffee out of a measuring cup?

💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬

CopiousAmountsOfRats: I’m telling people we broke up because you refused to grind to Bicycle by Queen

2Sexy4MyHair: this is the group chat idiota, sext Terzo on your own time

[ghostieeeee]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟔: 𝐌𝐎𝐌!

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

Word count: 1K

Warnings: None

A/N: Sorry if there's spelling mistakes, I'll proofread this when I wake up (it's literally 3:32 am while im writing this rn) 🥱

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

“Mom!” The half squeaky voice of your slightly younger sister catches you off guard as a set of sudden footsteps rush past your room- a shadow zipping past the slight gap under your door. “Mom!”

“H-Hey!” You yell in a panicked rush, eyes blowing wide at the realisation of her unexpected (but not entirely unpredicted) action. Your mind quickly recalls the messages you had sent to your group chat not even half an hour ago.

Your hands fumble to your bed sheets as you rip them away from your body, your legs flinging themselves out of bed as you take off towards the door of your bedroom. Scurrying down the hallway and down the stairs came with the almost stampede-like sound effects, especially as you seemed to throw yourself into the living room so willingly.

“What she's saying is all false!” You abruptly skid to your sister's side, glaring at her as your heart flips within your throat. Though, the small chuckle Eunchae let's out is beyond your comprehension as your mother turns to stare you down- arguably confused too.

“What's false?” She begins “Eunchae was just rambling nonsense about some new drink”

You blink with a half malfunctioned mind as Eunchae scoffs playfully- not wanting to earn a threatening look from the adult in the room. “Mom! It's not just a new drink!! It's a new carbonated drink that tastes like green tea!”

“Uh, ew” your nose scrunches up at the thought of a carbonated drink tasting like any type of iced tea… or coffee for the matter. “That sounds so wrong”

“It doesn't! If anything, your milkshakes are wrong!” she huffs.

“Uhm….” You furrow your brows, a sense of uncertainty plucking at you. “How does a milkshake sound wrong? It's a perfectly normal drink, and one that won't confuse your taste buds at that”

“Shoo, both of you, before this turns into an argument no one wants to listen to” your mother interjects, flicking her wrists dismissively as she eyes you both, awaiting your disappearance from her bracket of sight and most preferably, hearing too.

“Yeah, Y/n, don't you have a girlfriend to tend to”

“Girlfriend?” Your mother perks up again to the mention of a potential love interest, her dark eyes now perishing your every thought and comeback. You gulp and shake your head.

“Girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend?” You cock your head to the side slightly, eyes adjusting to the smug expression that sugar glazes Eunchae’s smiling face. “I'm as single as ever”

“So… you're keeping secrets?” Eunchae grins, her once innocent smile turning almost sinister to you. Though, it seemed as if your sight was betraying you when a deep shaded pair of horns grew from the top of your sister's head, a thin but long tail with a knife-like tip swaying mischievously behind her.

“You're lying…” Your eyes narrow at the disguised demon, brows lowering in suspicion. Her eyes seemed to entice yours into a deep state of hypnosis as a small staring contest commenced- a buzzing line of rivalry set the runway for your directed gaze.

However, your small moment falls to shambles at the interruption of a cough- a particularly dry cough at that. “Y/n?”

“I swear down, if this is about Haerin-” You refrain from pointing at your sister, knowing farewell that your mother would drop kick you to Jupiter or some neighbouring planet at such a gesture. Scrunching your nose, you turn back to your mom,”me and Haerin are partners for that project I mentioned few weeks ago”

Your fingers squeezed together in a crossed position in hopes that your mom would believe you. Thankfully, for your stupid luck- she just sighs and flicks her wrist again- she's evidently not in a mood for anything tonight. “I'll talk to you another time about this”

“Okay, mom” you smile, glancing at Eunchae as she just blinks like a fool, half in disbelief and half in admiration. No one has ever escaped the talons of your prying mother so easily before. “Rest well, I'm going to bed now”

She only hums, resting her head back gently as she closes her eyes. “Goodnight”

A grin was quick to grow on your face. It was almost as if you had stolen Eunchae's grin with how despicable it felt upon your skin. It felt foreign, but not entirely unwelcome. “Come on, Munch, don't you have some friends to tend to?” Eunchae rolls her eyes, walking past you with a small shoulder bump, her hair unnoticeably attacking your shoulder as she does so. “That was uncalled for…” You grumble, following her back up the stairs. “Why’d you say I have a girlfriend?”

“Because I wanted to see you suffer” Eunchae informs with a small laugh following pursuit as she reaches the top of the stairs, turning to look at you as you remain two steps away from the top. “But mostly because I wanted to see you blush and get all shy at the thought of Haerin”

“b…blush?”

She nods. “Yeah… but you didn't blush as much as I would've hoped for” Eunchae smiles widely before turning and fleeing for her bedroom- leaving a half stuned you to eye her door suspiciously.

Blush?

After a moment of inexplicable dwelling, you shake your head and make a turn to your own room. You don't dare to hesitate as you flop back into the comfort of your bed, sheets still smelling fresh from when they were washed just last evening. Your head found itself buried deep into the soft of your cased pillows. A deep sigh leaves your mouth, hitting your pillow and warming the fabric slightly. Though, before an ounce of rest could officially even enter your system, your phone buzzes from your bedside table. Reluctantly, you open your phone.

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

: Dating in a high school full of love thirsty teenagers was never really something you wanted. But of course, things change- and you learnt that in more ways than one. Kim Minji, one of the more popular students. Hong y/n, probably the most invisible person alive. They couldn't possibly be dating… or maybe they could be? You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: [𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍]

@jeindall777 @feisrants @thefckghost @everydayiloveyves @nasyu-kookies @justdelulumeh @feb14-kid

@ehcyps @imjeyjjey @winteresss @haechansbbg @urwyf3

@idkwhatim-doinghere101 @imahallucination11 @sserajeans @lesleepyyy @jennasluma @kaypanaq

@petruchiosstuff @pandafuriosa60 @haexrin07 @bdscsjhb @awkwardtoafault @huhyunjinwifey @haerinkisser

@ivers01 @julian-han @honestlysana @impossiblesharkcashrebel

[rooolt]

Need to see the teens do like regular teen things actually. Like could you imagine these fools trying to plan some sort of outing together. Normal and Link in the group chat in shambles trying to get everyone on track as scary replies with one word every four hours and Taylor seemingly dropped his phone off a bridge with the amount of texts he’s not reading. Normal constantly volunteering hero to drive them places despite not even asking her first and then never actually agreeing on where to go or what movie to see. Eventually they get everything all planned out, but then normal and Taylor remember they forgot hermie and making everyone stop to invite him and then he’s like the busiest person in the world so they have to uproot their entire plans. Idk do we see my vision

[heavyhitterheaux]

Who is in My House?

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: you are always going to continue to play with your husband lmao

Synopsis: "He just left, so come over" prank has Jackman in SHAMBLES

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Deciding that you wanted to play another prank on your husband, you started a group chat with all of the members of PG to get some ideas. You had been throwing ideas back and forth for about a week and a half when everyone agreed upon which one you should do. 

Everyone voted for you to do the “He just left, come over.” text prank that had been floating around Tik Tok and you already knew your husband was probably going to have a mental breakdown or be completely pissed off. 

PG would be going out to lunch, while you stayed home and pretended not to feel well. You knew that Jack would be hesitant to leave you, but you would have to reassure him that you were okay to make this work.

Clay told you that he would text you when they all got to the restaurant so that you would then send the text to Jack.

Everything was a go and you couldn’t wait.

“Baby, are you sure you don’t want me to stay? I don’t like leaving you by yourself if you aren’t feeling that well.” Jack said while pushing your hair up out of your face that had fallen. 

“I promise, I’ll be fine. Just bring me back something. I’ll just probably drink some tea and go to sleep.”

“You’re absolutely positive?”

“Yes, boo bear. I’m okay.”

“I love you and you better say it back this time.” Jack said while eyeing you.

“I love you too, more than anything else in this world.” You answered before laughing as he leaned down to kiss you.

“We shouldn’t be gone long.”

“Take your time, I want you to have fun. If I need you, I’ll text you.”

There was also one other person who was in on the prank and Jack was about to lose his shit when he found out.

No one other than Dua herself.

She was currently on her U.S. tour and she had a show tomorrow night in Atlanta. You quickly sent a text of the details of the prank last night and of course she was in.

About 45 minutes had passed when you received a text from your brother-in-law

Clay- He’s here. Everything is a go.

You- Lmaooooo it’s showtime

You ‘accidentally’ sent Jack a text thinking that someone was coming over to the house and you knew it would send him into a panic.

However, someone really was coming, but he didn’t know that.

You wanted for the prank to be a little different and that Dua would eventually show up.

You- He’s out with the rest of PG, you can come over! I could use the company.

Jack noticed that the notification sound went off alerting him that he had a text from you. He was hoping that you were okay and didn’t need him, but he got a lot more than he bargained for.

Knowing what was happening, Jack’s eyes went wide as PG was trying not to laugh and looking at the menu to distract themselves.

“Uhh, Jack? You okay?”

“Mm hmm.” Jack quickly answered, trying not to make a scene or make a big deal out of it.

“You sure? I mean you’re usually pale as shit, but it seems as if you got ten times paler when you looked down at your phone and read whatever wifey sent you.”

“I…” Jack started to say, but quickly stopped himself.

“What?”

“She was all like ‘I don’t feel good’ earlier and now I see a text saying that I’m out with yall and to come over? If someone is in my fucking house, I’m about to murder them and then I’ll deal with her. I guess she meant to send that to whoever and not me.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, it might just be Saweetie. I know she said she would be staying in Atlanta for a few days.”

“Nah, the way she worded it made it seem like it was someone else.”

“You worry too much. Y/N doesn’t have eyes for anyone but you. We’ve been wanting to come here for a while so your ass better not get up from this table. You see the way she acted with that Anitta girl and she sees how you acted with Giveon so do you honestly think she would do anything to break your trust?”

“Clay, facetime her right now. She might not answer if it’s from me.”

Clay simply shrugged and did what he was told.

It rang for a few seconds before your bright face came on the screen.

“Is that my favorite Harlow child? Hi, my baby!”

“Hey, Y/N, Jack just asked me to call you to check on you. He told us you weren’t feeling that well.”

“Well aren’t you sweet? That’s why I keep you around.”

“You know we should have gotten married instead.”

Jack rightfully smacked the back of his little brother’s head and all you could do was laugh.

“Ow!”

Clay purposely angled his phone so Jack could see you and took note of another person in the background and Jack’s eyes went wide.

It was so quick, that Jack didn’t really get a good look as to who it was. 

“In another life, my love. I’m fine! I actually feel a little better since drinking the tea.”

Jack immediately snatched Clay’s phone from him and questioned you not wanting to put it off any longer.

“Baby girl.”

“Yes, pookie?”

“First of all in another life, my ass. I have no hesitations to throw your favorite Harlow child off the nearest cliff. And who the… you got someone in my house I don’t know about?”

“What? What are you talking about?” You curiously asked to play along and not try to laugh.

“Mamas, do not fucking play with me. I got that text message you obviously meant to send to someone else.”

“What text? Baby, I’m confused. Are you feeling okay?”

“I will jump through this phone right fucking now. Who the fuck is in my house?”

“Uh? Besides me? Your children. I just finished walking the golden girls. I think Blanche misses you because she curled up next to your pillow.”

“Y/N!!!!!”

“Jackman.”

“Do not get smart with me. I am going to ask you one more time.”

“No one, baby! I’m here by mys…..”

Without warning the facetime call cut off and if Jack was mad before, he was pissed off now. 

“That’s it, I’m kicking both of their asses.” Jack said getting up and grabbing his keys. Clay put one hand on his shoulder to get him to sit back down.

“I didn’t even see anyone else on the call. You feeling okay?”

“How could you not?! They were sitting to the left of her.”

“Jack, is yall house haunted? If it is, I can’t stay there no more. Black people don’t do ghosts. I mean truth be told I know Y/N doesn’t either and if I know anything about ghosts and her, she’ll probably run them off.” Shloob said while taking a sip of his iced tea.

“No, it’s not haunted! There was literally another person there with her!”

“Well, try calling her back.”

Jack then whipped out his phone and proceeded to do so all for it to go to voicemail.

“She cannot be fucking serious right now. I’m getting my shit to go.”

Jack hopped in his jeep and was speeding down the highway to get back to your shared home.

He didn’t even bother parking in the garage and left the car out front before making a beeline to the front door.

Once opened, he walked around to the living room to find you sitting on the floor playing with your two piglets.

You looked up to see Jack and the pissed off look on his face.

“Uh, baby? Why are you back so soon? And where is my food? Look babies, daddy’s home!” You said while looking down at the both of them. They saw Jack and immediately got excited.

Jack was steadily looking around and checking behind the couches as well as in the closets.

“Baby?”

Jack didn’t even bother to answer you as he was continuing on with his search.

“Jackman!”

“Who the fuck you got in here, huh? I’m about to kick their ass right now.”

“Are we still on this? No one, baby. Except me and our tribe of children.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Hmm well okay. Have fun searching.” You replied as you went back to playing with two of your children.

Jack tore up the house from top to bottom looking for someone that he thought had been in the house.

Once he gave up his search, he went downstairs to see you and Dua on the couch talking and laughing.

“Y/N!!! WHY IS SHE IN MY HOUSE?!”

“Correction, our house, baby.”

“Hi to you too, Jack!”

All Jack did was stare at her and give her the evil eye.

“See, I knew you had someone else in here.”

“Babe, Dua just got here five minutes ago.”

“Y/N….. I know what I saw on that facetime call!”

“I told you he was crazy. You should move in with me, now he’s seeing shit. Next thing you know you’ll have to put him in a nursing home.”

“Dua, shut your ass up and move away from my wife! Six feet at all times!”

“Jack!”

“Y/N!”

“Okay since we’re all saying names, I’ll do my own. Dua!”

“Baby girl…..”

“Yes, pookie?”

“Is that... Is that a camera?”

“Oops.”

“DID YOU…. THIS WAS A PRANK! SHE WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!?!”

“UHHH……”

You took off running while Dua was laughing and with Jack following quickly behind you and catching you.

“Now, I know you didn’t think you were going to get far with those short legs of yours did you?”

“Well, it was worth a try.”

“Jack! Since I’m here, let me get a copy of that video!”

“HELL NO!”

“I mean it was better than me asking for your wife to sit on my face.”

“See, now I’m really about to have to beat your ass. You always come over here and act outta pocket.”

“Beat my ass? I’d rather eat hers.”

“DUAAAAA!!!!! AND Y/N STOP LAUGHING!!!”

Liked by jackharlow, claybornharlow, saweetie, dualipa, 2forwoyne, lilnasx, druski2funny, and 3,184,907 others

y/ninsta: my husband mad at me yall lmaooooo

jackharlow: y/ninsta I’m legally separating from you tomorrow 😐

lilnasx: what happened this time? lmaooo

claybornharlow: lilnasx another prank by wifey 😂

druski2funny: y/ninsta why you stay stressing my man out?!

2forwoyne: seeing him freak out about that text message was TOP TIER

jackharlow: HOLD THE FUCK UP

jackharlow: PG?!? YALL WERE IN ON IT?!

urbanwyatt: jackharlow we may or may not have an entire group chat that the primary reason is to prank you

shloob_: I told her not to do it

quiiso: shloob_ you stay throwing our asses under the bus. you were it on it too

jackharlow: urbanwyatt and to think I call you my best friend

saweetie: y/ninsta give that man a break! that hairline keeps going south because of the stress!

jackharlow: DIAMONTE!!!

saweetie: yes Jack?

jackharlow: saweetie after I get done kicking their asses, you’re next

y/ninsta: much thanks to dualipa lmaooo had my baby looking everywhere for you 😭😭

dualipa: y/ninsta glad to be of service!

jackharlow: dualipa where were you even hiding?!

y/ninsta: jackharlow you never looked in the backyard!

dualipa: jackharlow lemme at the wife and I promise not to do it again

jackharlow: dualipa one of these days, you about to learn to stop playing with me

dualipa: jackharlow so is that a yes?

jackharlow: dualipa it’s a ‘I still have my bb gun and I’ll shoot you’

dualipa: jackharlow you wouldn’t shoot your wife’s friend!

jackharlow: dualipa now, who told you that lie? you can get all this smoke any day of the fucking week and saweetie is next

saweetie: jackharlow now why am I in it?! 

y/ninsta: saweetie that hairline comment lmaooooo

jackharlow: y/ninsta you laughing a little too loud over there for my liking. on your knees.

sza: oh my

y/ninsta: jackharlow DO YOUR WORST

claybornharlow: now I understand urbanwyatt’s pain

jackharlow: y/ninsta but don’t think this makes up for the shit you pulled today. consider this war and watch your back

y/ninsta: jackharlow may the best Harlow win (that’s me) but imma need you to make me cum first

jackharlow: y/ninsta who said that I was about to let you cum?

y/ninsta: jackharlow wait, what? 🤨

jackharlow: and dualipa if you so much as utter a WORD I’ll end you 😡

dualipa: jackharlow 👀

dualipa: y/ninsta I’ll make you cum kbye

jackharlow: DUAAAAAA!!!!

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