#lord of the rings shitpost

[ironmandeficiency]

pippin: guys we have to be careful, someone here is possessed by an owl

legolas: who?

pippin: that’s the thing, we don’t-

pippin: 👁️ 👁️

[wordbunch]

cause i love the gap between your teeth....

and i love the riddles that you speak!!

taylor really said gollum rights

[bookworm-with-coffee]

Lord of the Rings Characters as . . .

Wrong number texts!

(Part 2)

(Character as: R = RIGHT side of convo, L = LEFT side of convo)

______________________________

Frodo Baggins (R)

* * *

Sam Gamgee (R)

* * *

Merry Brandybuck (R)

* * *

Pippin Took (R)

* * *

Gandalf the Grey (R)

* * *

Aragorn Elessar (R)

* * *

Legolas Greenleaf (R)

* * *

Gimli (R)

* * *

Boromir (R)

* * *

Faramir (R)

* * *

______________________________

[hiscursedness]

Landing dick first in the lava in Mount Doom and cumming instantly

[quality-street-rat]

Y/n, stuffing himself into a cupboard: I am disgusted, I am revolted, I dedicate my entire life to our Lord and Savior Elrond Peredhel and THIS is the thanks I get?

Bilbo, greatly amused: All he said was hello.

Y/n: HE SHOULD HAVE SAID HELLO, "MY FRIEND!"

[sassaetcie]

so i was watching bakshi’s version of lord of the rings which is. an experience and THIS SCENE HAPPENED AND WHERE ARE MY SAM/FRODO FELLOWS BECAUSE THATS ACTUALLY SOME FUCKING REAL FOOD???????????

[confusedbookworm]

Me: So why didn’t you just push Isildur into the fire?

Elrond: There would have been terrible consequences.

Me: Like Aragorn not being born?!

Elrond: No, he’d still be here

Me: So then what was stopping you? People being mad you killed a king? Just lie and say he fell in. Who would think that you would have pushed him?

Elrond *sighs and shakes head*

Aragorn laughing in the background

[fingolfinwiththesteelchair]

‘If you don’t come back, sir, then I shan’t, that’s certain,’ said Sam. ‘Don’t you leave him! they said to me. Leave him! I said. I never mean to. I am going with him, if he climbs to the Moon; and if any of those Black Riders try to stop him, they’ll have Sam Gamgee to reckon with.'

The Fellowship of the Ring, Chapter IV, A Shortcut to Mushrooms

[rivers-for-me]

*explaining gender*

Aragorn: It's the cold breeze among the trees. The silent whispers around the mountains. The feeling of gazing into a dark hallway when something gazes back.

Frodo: I'm a dude but not really

[ironmandeficiency]

“evil was allowed to endure” BULLSHIT elrond you could have fucking pushed isildur into mount fucking doom & none would have been the wiser

[wordbunch]

frodo spotted today in the textbook of a kid I'm tutoring

[bookworm-with-coffee]

The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings Characters as . . .

Wrong number texts!

(Part 3)

(Character as: R = RIGHT side of convo, L = LEFT side of convo)

____________________________

Bombur (R)

* * *

Bard (R)

* * *

Eomer (R)

* * *

Thranduil (R)

* * *

_____________________________

[madame-helen]

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

[beebsops]

GANDALF FUCKED UP AND EVIL MOMENT!? WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO SCARE HIM LIKE THAT!?

[toseeclearly]

YOU, A REGULAR PERSON: Pink Witch King of Angmar

ME, AN INTELLECTUAL: nazgUwU