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faithinthefuture28 · 5 years

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Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker).

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song.

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy. I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back).

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean).

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about).

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do).

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives.

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together.

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home.

2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you.

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person?

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”.

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xplore-the-unknwn · 2 years

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tagged by @midnightsanatorium Thanks for the tag!!

(rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better)

name: Jane

star sign: Gemini but I think i was meant to be a Leo

height: 5′4″

time: 11:03 pm

birthday: June something something

favorite bands/artists: Queen!!

last movie: Hugo, was looking for some inspiration about film making

last show: I guess it was Stranger Things

when did i create this blog: 2017 or 2018

what i post: Star Wars and lots of random wholesome reblogs!!

last thing i googled: it was about Tax hahaa I hate adulting

other blogs: I had an old blog that I made since 2011 but I dont use the email anymore.

do i get asks?: Sometimes but would like to receive from my mutuals

following: I keep it a secret

average hours of sleep: between 5-6 hours very unhealthy and I dont recommend

instruments: None but I wanna do some Guitar practices or Piano that would be neat

what i’m wearing: Pajamas as of the moment. I got 2 looks- I 90% look like a hobo and I 10% slay when I occasionally go outside.

dream job: I honestly dont know anymore. Kind of just going with the flow as of the moment, living peacefully and as long as Im stable. Id like to stay it that way for the meantime.

dream trip: All around Europe. See some art. Remnants of ancient greece.

nationality: Human. lol. Guess.

favorite songs: Alooot

last book i’ve read: Currently reading “Mastery by Robert Greene” kind of helpful as I feel burnout from my work right now, brought me back to my roots of who I wanted to be when I was a kid.

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: STAR WARS! Lord of the Rings anddd One Piece.

Time for you guys to answer these questions!

I tag @starstruck-bard @somuchwastedpotentials @55sthings @your-sovereign-ruler @not-really-a-blogger @my-dear-hammy @r3d-d34th @fulcrum-x1 @istillbelieveinmagic142 @myrandomscribbling @hrsgddess @allthebestscreennamesaregone63 @sentinel-of-dreams @botherbother-blog @dyslexicorn @the-saxophone-sings @212troubles @monstermashpotato @spookiifi @ratpiss-soda

#ask meme

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prose-for-hire · 4 years

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Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: Bodyswap anon here! I appreciate you offering but you dont owe me one. Although I did have an idea that was an AU where reader runs a bakery and Spike runs an auto repair shop. I love the "grump is soft for the sunshine one" trope and just wanna see a slow burn of badboi Spike fawning over the shortie wearing bright colors that comes in with a flat tire during a downpour who isnt afraid of him in the slightest. If you like it, go for it! I just love cliches and tropes lol

Requested by: Anon - hope this is okay love 💖

You walked slowly into the seemingly deserted auto-repair shop. It smelled of oil and damp and you wondered if it was even still open for business. There were thick cobwebs in almost every corner and the lighting was only on where it was absolutely necessary. You looked around, blissfully uncaring of how badly things could go if the wrong sort of person worked there. You smiled around the place, your presence a ray of sunshine in the otherwise dull surroundings.

You had your brightest outfit on, dulled only by the flour you always managed to get everywhere on you throughout the day. You owned and almost solely ran a bakery not far from this shop. You stopped in the middle of the garage, looking around and not announcing yourself in case it startled the man bending over and tightening… or was that untightening something on an old looking car.

He paused his job, looking over at you. He took one look at you and rolled his eyes, turning away from you and pretending to be very busy. He had a pretty bad reputation around town, but everyone still went to his shop because he was good at his job.

You cleared your throat softly, maybe he just hadn’t seen you. You had a flat tire and it was late. The dark started to consume you slowly before he turned fully and stalked towards you.

“You look lost” he said, closing the distance and looking you up and down menacingly as if you were unwelcome. Which, you were. He didn’t like being interrupted. He didn’t like people coming into his shop uninvited. He scowled, something that usually kept people away. But apparently, not you.

“No, I know where I am! I just need some help – I’ve got a flat” You said, a pleasant smile on your face as if you were oblivious to his threatening stance. He sighed, rubbing his hands on an old rag before gesturing at you to show him to your car. You basically skipped away and he followed behind.

He just grunted when you got there, stepping around you and taking a look at the tire, which was undoubtedly flat. Like, pancake flat. You weren’t even sure how it had happened.

“Yeah, that’s a flat” he stated, looking up at you as if to ask what you expected him to do about it.

“Would you be able to fix it?” You smiled and he peered at you confused as to why you weren’t at least avoiding his eye contact out of fear or respect.

“Yeah” he scoffed, rolling his eyes at such a stupid question.

“Oh great, that would be really nice!” You gushed, “You’re so kind, thank you!”

He leaned over and you couldn’t help watch as he expertly changed the tire for you. You sat, trying to make conversation but he didn’t reply to anything that you said. Eventually, he finished up and you thanked him profusely.

“You’re really good at your job” You smiled, complimenting him softly. He looked taken aback, not entirely sure if you were actually making fun of him or not. He just grunted slightly in response so you decided to ask, “How much?”

“350. Flat rate” he shrugged after thinking a moment. You really were too sweet for your own good – in a way he decided to take advantage of. You were a fully grown adult, you knew the usual rate. You weren’t naïve, you were just incredibly kind.

“For one tire?!”

“Take it or leave it” He said, although he had already changed the tire for you so realistically you would have to pay it.

“Pastries!” “If you cut the act and charge me the proper rate you can have as many pastries as you like from my bakery when you come in as a thank you”

“You own a bakery? Who are we kidding - of course you bloody do” He muttered, raising an eyebrow, “Ok, usual rate... and free pastry for the rest of my life”

“Rest of the month” you entertained his bargain.

“Year”

“You drive a hard bargain, sir!” You exclaimed, before grinning in a way that his expression definitely wasn’t matching, “I’ll see you soon!” you called, jumping into your car and speeding away with him staring after you.

Later that week, he took you up on your deal. You were behind the counter as he sauntered in, “Welcome to Angel Cake’s! It’s nice to see you again – this is my knight in shining armour from the other night!” you dropped your voice and explained to your employee. The young girl who came in on a Saturday to help out looked Spike up and down and raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t liked the sound of him – you were too friendly. Saw the good in people when from what you had explained, there didn’t seem to be any there. Spike had tried to take advantage of you.

“Right, yeah. Spike. Name’s Spike”

“I’m y/n!” You smiled, “Hey, your name doesn’t suit you much – you’re kinder than your name suggests!”

“I think the name’s about right” your co-worker Nina cut in, the younger girl not known for her tact. Spike scowled at her and turned back to you.

“I’m here for my pastry” he stated. No further niceties and no eye contact. He would insist he was trying to avoid being blinded by your colourful choice in outfit for today. You nodded and started busying yourself, choosing him one that you hoped he would enjoy. You put one in a bag and passed it over.

Your hands brushed against each other as you passed him the to-go bag. You shivered and he pulled away too quickly. He snatched the bag up and turned on his heel, stalking out of the door without so much as another word. He came back every two days or so to claim his pastry, sometimes lingering slightly but never saying anything more than which baked goods he would like.

The next two weeks went quickly and it had been really busy in your store. You noticed you hadn’t seen Spike so often – so you decided to do something about it.

“Bugger off – we’re closed” he growled, his back turned away from the door but he could hear footsteps entering. Your footsteps.

“Hey!” You called and he paused when he heard your voice. As if this would have been the only exception to his statement. That is, if he cared. Obviously.

“What do you want? I got business to be doing here, haven’t you got a rainbow you could be skipping over”

“Oh, I was just bringing you something – freshly prepared today! Uh, and you always seem so lonely working here so I thought maybe I could keep you company”

“I don’t get lonely. I like it this way” He insisted. This was a lie. He did feel lonely, some nights desperately so. He looked up at you and you gave him a small smile, a nod of understanding as you were ready to turn away. He thought about your nature slowly as you turned away. You didn’t put on an act, you genuinely felt for him. Cared to ask or swing by. So he made a decision. He opened his mouth before you left and said, “Uh, you can leave those” pointing at the box of donuts you had brought that you had lovingly prepared only moments before you drove over to his shop. He didn’t want you to stay, at least he wouldn’t admit it anyway. You nodded, placing them down and waving an enthusiastic goodbye. Pleased that he had at least taken your treats.

It was now a month later. He was working in his shop and he couldn’t stop thinking about you. His mind always turning back to you. Every waking thought, and the occasional dream too. He tried to shake himself out of it and continue working on a car.

But he couldn’t focus. He decided to have a break. He had been in several times for pastries since your first meeting, some he even paid for himself. He sat down, wiping his hands down his overalls. He grabbed at the pastry and started to bite into it.

He closed his eyes - it was just so good. It was sweet. Like you. Like heaven in his mouth. Your baking. He found himself filling his thoughts with you, often subconsciously but more recently it has been on purpose.

What were you doing? Did you ever think of him the way he thought of you? What would the bread of the day be today?

His eyes snapped open. It finally dawned on him. How he felt for you. He had been soft on you for a while now, he had just been fighting it – and for what? Oh, right. Because he couldn’t face the crippling rejection. Especially not from you. He had isolated himself on purpose after all, too used to the denial of his affections. To people in his past treating him as if he wasn’t worthy of love.

Still, he understood it now. He got it. He liked you – really liked you. And there was nothing he could do to fight it. He wanted to spend time with you. Your soft and kind nature became sweeter to him than the baked goods he loved so much. He didn’t want to be stuck, hiding in the dark anymore. He wanted to be surrounded by light. By your softness. Your bright, cheery smile. The array of dazzling colours that he had started to enjoy gazing upon the sunny tones. He decided he would have to do something about the way he felt.

So, he did. He tried at least. He stood outside having what must have been his second pack of cigarettes in the last hour. He was stood awkwardly outside your bakery chain smoking to gain enough courage to enter. Until, that is, the door opened and you popped your head out.

“Hey! Spike! Nina said you’ve been hovering by the door, trying to decide whether to come in or not for the last hour… are you okay?”

“That bitch-” he muttered under his breath, “Been worse, love. Um, h-how are you?”

“Oh I’m good thank you! I have some freshly baked bread I’d really love you to try! Come in!” You called, tugging at his sleeve slightly. His questioning you was new. He never usually asked. It excited you, but you knew better than to make a fuss over it. You wanted him comfortable after all.

He sat, eating the bread and telling you how good it was. He was almost gushing over your granary loaf and you couldn’t help but beam at him. He explained that it was by far the best bread he had ever eaten.

“Would you- did you want to-” big overexaggerated sigh with his entire body before carrying on, “Are you doing anything in your break?”

“I am now – would you like to go on a walk with me?” You asked.

You walked around the block, happily talking and encouraging him to chip in when he wanted to. You loved hearing from him. However, the heavens had opened and the rain had started to pour. You hadn’t expected this and weren’t dressed for the weather. You managed to hold a conversation and he proved himself correct with every step he took with you. He was falling for you.

“You’re, uh, shivering, love” he noted as he walked in-step beside you.

“I’m a little cold – rain can do that to you I suppose!” You grinned and he frowned ever so lightly. You said words but your mood never appeared to dip. It was as if you were his own personal sunshine, no matter what the outside world threw at you both.

He shrugged his jacket off and offered it to you, nodding his confirmation that he meant it. You smiled wide, not thinking and instead swooping in to hug him. An action that almost knocked him from his feet.

He just stood there. Still, not sure what to do. He found himself really enjoying your embrace, but he didn’t move his hands from his side. He wanted to, but he was embarrassed. What if you felt him hug back and laughed?

“Oops – sorry!” You realised you had been a little too enthusiastic with your hug. Some people don’t like hugs, you reprimanded yourself for a second, before looking back at Spike and beaming, “You want to help me bake this afternoon? Nina’s handling the front” as you shrugged his jacket around your shoulders.

“I, uh, should get back…” He offered, but his expression appeared to be in deep thought. He was conflicted. He really enjoyed your company, it appeared. But he would never agree to an afternoon of baking. He had insulted people for suggesting way less.

“Come on! You might enjoy it!” You couldn’t help but press. You really did want him there.

“Fine. But don’t be expecting it to become a regular thing… I’m just helpin’ you out seeing as you keep bangin’ on about it” he muttered, but secretly he was absolutely thrilled. He couldn’t help glancing at you every moment he felt he could get away with it as you both rounded the corner.

At the bakery, Nina rolled her eyes and scowled at Spike who stuck his two fingers up at her when your back was turned.

You started off reading the recipe, weighing up large quantities as you had a lot to bake. Spike took it surprisingly seriously. He hadn’t realised how much work went into making some of the items you sold. He would never take your pastries for granted again. He actually said this to you out loud, promising you. It made you giggle.

“I always struggle with this part” you say softly, trying to mix the large bowl of cake batter.

“Should I-?” He offered starting to roll up his sleeves and offering to take the duty over for you.

“Maybe we could try it together?” You smiled and he just nodded – in the name of helping you mix it better. Of course he would share the responsibility with you. You trusted him with it and standing that close to you would be a gift.

Usually, you might use an electric mixer. But you wanted to take it all back to basics. And perhaps, allow yourself to become a little closer with Spike. You both had a grip on the long wooden spoon and started to stir it together. He was stood behind you, but close enough for you to feel his presence. You both shared a small smile, without realising it as you watched the mixture become silky smooth.

You stumbled, not used to sharing a workspace and tipped the flour down what happened to be Spike’s front. You managed to pour flour down the front of the apron he had been wearing.

“I’m so sorry!” You said, trying to bite back a giggle.

“You’re going to be” He raised an eyebrow and took a handful of flour and threw it at you – making you squeal. This quickly descended into a flour fight that you decided had to be a draw as you were both covered. You were both laughing and you paused, savouring his smile. It was a real, genuine smile and it made you swoon.

You shared prolonged eye contact, holding your gaze through the flour that was still in the atmosphere around you. You shared another small smile before getting back to your respective tasks.

Eventually, you finished up and started to clear away as the cakes were now baking in the oven, “No way!” Nina exclaimed from the doorway. She was trying to hide her snort of laughter as she came to ask how long the next batch would take and she saw Spike crouching in front of the oven willing the cupcakes to rise through listing off a string of threats. Apparently, threatening them into it whilst he was wearing a baby pink cooking apron. You were crouched beside him, the oven gloves on in anticipation.

“Bugger off, short stack!”

“Nina, there’s a customer waiting” You said softly, giving her a look that said please let us have this. You had taken a shine to Spike. You were nice, but never this understanding with someone. You saw that he wanted to trust and share a connection. You hoped, with you. He just needed a little encouragement. Someone that cared without conditions.

When the cupcakes were finished, as you both sat eating the warm treats straight from the oven Spike had gone quiet. You were starting to worry, but your mood lightened once more when he spoke through a mouthful of cake, “Do you like spending time with me, pet?” he asked, not looking towards you.

“Of course I do!”

“Well then. I think it’s time we teach you how to change your own tire”

“You mean it!?” You cheered, smiling back at him. This was as close to a profession of fondness you would get from him. He had thawed, his temperament softening. But expressing his feelings was still hard. He nodded, offering his hand for you to take. You took it without hesitation and he moved your hand to his lips, kissing once softly. A gesture you would never have expected from him, but it made you melt. You walked towards his shop hand-in-hand, swinging his arm the entire way.

#spike btvs #spike x reader #spike x you #spike imagine #gender neutral #gender neutral reader #gender not mentioned #bakery au #btvs #btvs x reader #btvs imagine #btvs x you #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #buffyverse au #btvs au #x reader #fluffy

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mycptsdrecovery · 3 years

Note

TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

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wisteria-lodge · 4 years

Text

a burnt / exploded badger primary + badger secondary model

Hi! Ive been looking at this amazing sorting concept for a while now, but every time i try to sort myself i get stuck. I think im either a burnt snake primary that models lion or a burnt lion primary that models snake, but im unsure about which one.

All right, let’s see what you’ve got.

I was pretty involved in a student club and took up bartending duty, which i really liked because it was a place to have casual social interaction with people without going to the trouble of figuring out how to be friends (which i am Bad at since i can remember, ive like 3 friends and i try to talk to them monthly but more feels exhausting). But a side effect of being a bartender is that drunk people share their entire life story and trauma with you which i quite enjoy once in a while, its quite flattering if people trust you enough to talk to you about personal things and its interesting to learn more about how they work as a person.

So you’re telling me you have a Badger secondary, or at least a Badger secondary model. And three good friends who you check in with monthly doesn’t sound like such a bad set up? If that’s what you want/need, you’re good in my book. But there’s definitely some kind of angst surrounding “making friends” which seems like an outside influence. I’m keeping an eye on that as I read.

But if it happens a lot when you sleep way less than you should it quickly becomes exhausting.

Okay. Lack of self-care. Particularly of the “overworked” variety. That is something that Badger primaries usually really struggle with. You might want to take a look at Exploded Badger Primary, honestly.

I once had a breakdown over that i knew too many suffering people and that i couldnt help them all.

This is either the breakdown of a Badger primary, or a really really really Badger-flavored Lion. (and probably we’re still talking Badger).

I sometimes got angry at people who dumped all their trauma and fears on me but didn't once asked me about how I was feeling, or if they did and I answered with "bad" they quickly changed the subject.

Oh. Problems with boundaries. That’s one of the traits that Badger primaries and secondaries tend to share.

Not sure if that one is more about me having Bad Friends or me seeing friendship as a transactional thing

This makes me think that your Badger secondary might be a model

I know seeing friendship as transactional is a Bad Immoral thing and I'm trying not to see it as such.

It’s interesting that you frame this in such right/wrong, Lion-y language. But this idea “viewing friendships as being a means to an end is fundamentally immoral” - that’s much more of a Badger primary thing than a Lion primary thing.

but these friendships were imbalanced which did not feel fair to me.

If Lions value authenticity and Snakes value freedom, Badgers value fairness. (I’m still trying to figure out that *one* thing Birds value.)

Another thing is that i never cared much for family. I was raised with a "friends are temporary, family is forever" mindset, which I did not quite vibe with. I hung out with my sisters all the time, but I'm not sure if that was out of choice or out of necessity, if other people just didnt Get me the same way they did or if I thought so and therefore didnt try to make other friends.

You’ve got a slightly insular, very Snake primary family culture - but you yourself don’t seem to have a single Snake bone in your entire body.

It's probably me acting out against my parents way after puberty (where I did not act out, since I knew acting out was what the Wrong kind of people did and I was Better than that).

Here’s that moralistic language again. This instinct “to not act out” really does seem like it’s coming from you and not your parents. And I this idea of “the wrong kind of people” is really Badger. Badger primaries are so interested in community, which makes them especially likely to categorize like that.

after i moved out that I joined the student association, to show that friends did exist and being in large groups of non family people could be a good thing.

‘After I moved out I joined a large community, to show my Snake primary family that this is a legitimate way to exist.’ Badger.

In family gatherings, me and my sisters were always seen as "the kids" and people never treated us as full conversation partners. (Its getting better, but we've been Full Grown Adults for a while now and are all living by ourselves now, that should have happened way sooner). I never minded that much tho, I was fine by playing with my baby cousins and participating in the performative steps of small talk until visits were over.

I’m thinking that this badger secondary is definitely an unhealthy model.

Then there are my thoughts about the question "what would you do if you realized everything you thought and believed was wrong". A while ago, there was a huge argument in my friend group from the student association and it fell apart. At the same time, a situation happened in my family which caused me to not exactly break completely with them, since I am trying to fix it out of a sense of obligation, but it almost happened.

Oh my, a stressed out Badger. This is a situation that would hit a Badger primary really, really, really hard.

This started me believing that a large group of people which are yours, or a goal/cause you chose for yourself, is wrong because people will let you down and abandon you.

This is so Burnt Badger.

people will abandon you if your actions are wrong enough, or try to force you to change your decisions if they disagree with them enough

Just a guess, but I think you’ve been dealing with some Lion primaries. This is the kind of thing that a really intense Lion would do.

people will abandon you as soon as you are not longer useful to them, and dont want to play the desired role they expect you to anymore.

Oh no. We’ve got some more Exploded Badger right here. ‘My worth is my usefulness’

I only started to think about "who am I?" And "what do I want?" At university, where I made a few decisions (which I do not regret a bit) which made me sleep way less than I should which caused me to stop reflecting and thinking about myself, and then the Incident happened.

There’s an aspect of both the Badger primary and the Badger secondary which functions like a mirror. It’s so powerful, but if you’re not careful you can lose yourself. It sounds like you’re on the right track though, it really does.

after which I spent all my time and energy trying to Fix it, and now that I realize that I can't I am so far away from who I am as a person that the easiest way to exist is to shape myself in whatever form is desired.

That’s the Badger secondary (or the badger secondary model) talking. I’m a Badger secondary, and I modeled Badger primary for a long time. I’ve spent so much time trying to Fix It. But you can’t. You can’t fix other people. They have to fix themselves.

But I'm not sure if the code switching I do is who I am that has revealed itself by me having nothing left, or a coping mechanism I picked up to stop people from getting disappointed by me while figuring out who I really am.

That settles it. You definitely have a badger secondary model. And there’s something else is under there.

#sortinghatchats #badger primary #badger secondary #double badger #badger secondary model #burnt badger primary #exploded badger primary #sort me #wisteria sorts

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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tumblebee-the-smol-bean · 4 years

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Hmmm Janus and Logan find out that Remus is a little and they take care of the baby? You don't have to! Take your time too :3

Thanks for the prompt!

Caregivers: Logan/Janus

Regressor: Remus

Remus was sitting on his bed watching beetlejuice for the third time in a row and using crayons to fill in a gory picture in his coloring book. Neither activity was exactly kid friendly but Remus didnt know what else to do. He only knew the creepy movies, that was his jurisdiction, so that was what he watched. Same with the coloring. He might try to draw something 'normal' bit it always came out....off...

None of the other sides knew he regressed to deal with the constant stream of intrusive thoughts running through his head at all times. He was never one to keep secrets but this...this was the one thing the other sides didn't know about him and he was going to keep it that way. He didnt need them to pay less attention to him than they already did when they would surely decide he was less of a threat than they originally thought.

He pouts at the idea of less attention. He really cant get enough if it. Not that anyone is willing to give it to him. Sure Deceit might tolerate him. They might even have what some would call pleasant interactions from time to time. But Janus was really very busy usually, and he tended to get very grumpy when Remus interrupted his meticulous planning sessions with his morningstar and a moldy banana that he threw at the wall.

So there he sat in his room, watching beetlejuice and colouring alone, even though he really wanted someone to pay attention to him.

Janus noted that Remus had been acting...odd lately. He would make excuses for why he had to leave the room suddenly and while it was believable to most of the sides when Remus said he had to go figure out the melting point of birds, Janus could taste the lie.

After a few times of this happening he decided enough was enough and he was going to get to the bottom of whatever the trash man was doing. It was making him nervous to say the least. Remus didnt usually lie so whatever he was doing was probably highly destructive in Janus's mind.

When he creaked open the door however he did not expect to see Remus in a onesie watching beetlejuice and coloring with his thumb in his mouth.

Furthermore he definitely didnt expect Remus to look at him with wide eyes and begin wailing and scrambling away from him.

What??? Was all Janus could think for a few moments before he took a deep breath and slowly approached Remus, trying to calm him down.

"Remus, are you okay?"

He shook his head and backed up a bit more.

"Its alright I'm not going to hurt you." He tried to assure him.

"Bu- but you- think m' not scawy anymore!" He wailed.

Jan winced and reached him, placing a hand on his shoulder and Remus collapsed, knees giving out. Luckily Janus was able to catch him and lifted him up.

"Believe me I am all sorts of scared right now. Come on, we're taking you to Logan, he'll know what's going on with you." Janus quickly sunk out with him confused as all hell as Remus started crying and squirming again. Logan already didnt take him seriously! But Janus kept a tight grip on him and rapped at logans door impatiently.

"Logan. Logan!"

The glasses clad side opened the door with a look of exasperation

"What?!" Then his eyes fell on remus and he stepped back a bit in surprise, giving janus the opportunity to briskly walk in with Remus and set him on the bed. Said side was now hiding his face in a pillow.

"He's broken. We broke him." Janus pointed at Remus,

"He isnt broken Janus." Logan brushed him off and approached Remus. "Hmm...I think I might have an idea of what's going on. What was he doing when you found him?" He questioned.

"Umm...watching beetlejuice and doing a coloring page I think?"

Logan nods to himself.

"And did he seem different than usual?"

Janus points to Remus

"Oh I don't know Logan. What do you think??"

Logan rolled his eyes but nodded. "I think I might have some idea of what's going on."

He sat down slowly next to Rwmus so he didn't startle him. "Remus, how old are you?"

"What kind of question is that? He's thirt-"

"M' two." Came the hesitant reply.

Janus stared at him, more and more confused by the second as Logan just nodded and readjust his glasses.

"As I thought. It seems Remus is engaging in a coping mechanism commonly known as age regression."

"Age what now?" Janus asked as Remus whined and buried his head behind Logan while he rubbed his back, not liking that his secret was being figured out.

"Age regression. It's when an individual either voluntarily or involuntarily reverts back to an earlier stage in their state of mind. So Remus here," he gestured to him "is about the mental mindset of a two year old. Is that right honey?" His voice softened as he turned to Remus for the last bit who nodded reluctantly.

"M' sorry..."

"Oh no need to apologize." He picks him up and sets him on his lap. "Its a perfectly healthy coping mechanism, we arent going to judge you for it." He perks up a bit at that and nuzzles into Logan, enjoying the attention.

"How do you know so much about this?" Dee asked, eyebrow raised.

"Virgil taught me." He responded simply, not giving a further explanation and Janus didnt ask for one. Just sat down next to the two other sides as Remus played happily with Logans fingers, no longer worried about them knowing his secret as it didnt seem like they were going to judge him.

"So...what do we do?" Janus asked finally.

"Well we should supervise him until he comes out of this headspace. From what he's told us he's fairly young and honestly I dont trust adult Remus to be unsupervised." He shifted Remus out of his hold and handed him off to Janus who took him and set him on his hip. "I'm going to make him some food, entertain him while I'm gone." He turns and walks out leaving the too alone.

"So...what do you want to do buddy?"

Twenty minutes later Logan walks in on the two watching a horror film and looks positively exasperated.

"Why are you watching this with him?"

"Um...because he said he wanted to watch it?" Janus looks confused.

"He's two Jan, this is not age appropriate." He turns of the television with a click, getting whines from both Janus and Remus.

"Its lunch time anyways Remus." Logan tuts and lifts him off of Janus. He hands him a sippy cup and some dinosaurs nuggets which he quickly demolishes and whines in complaint when Logan wipes the crumbs and ketchup off his face.

"Hold still Remus." He grunts as he tries to get it while Remus shakes his head away.

"Remus."

Ree sticks out his tounge and hops down giggling and running out the door and into the imagination, he decided he wanted to cause some trouble.

Janus is up and chasing after him almost instantly while Logan shakes his head and sighs in his room, cleaning up the dishes.

Remus cackles as he watches jan try to follow him through the imagination. Remus knows every inch of the territory so he's much faster. At least he was until the imagination did its job. You see since Remus was in the imagination, the place where thoughts come to life, and his thoughts were currently that of a small child...well he shrunk rather quickly to that age and soon enough Janus caught up to him as he stumbled on his tiny legs.

"Gotchya!" Janus scooped him up and he shrieked with laughter, Jan couldn't help a small smile either.

"You certainly are a handful."

He smiles deviously and nods.

Jan brings him back to Logans room but he doesn't regain his usual size. Logan theorizes that he probably wont until he ages up again.

"Remus." Logan scolds when they arrive back. "You cannot run off like that." Ree just sticks out his tounge with a small pout.

"I know baby." Logan takes him from Jan. "It isnt fair is it? But the imagination is dangerous for a child to be all alone in. What if the dragon witch saw you?"

He shrugged, he hadn't thought of that.

"Exactly." Logan set him down on the bed and Remus let out a tiny yawn.

"Is it naptime?" Janus asks

"No!" Remus shouted.

"Oh so you aren't tired?" Janus asked eyebrow raised.

"....nooo... "

"That's a lie." He said "do you know what happens to little babies who lie?"

Remus shook his head.

"They turn into tacos!" Janus quickly wraps him up in a blanket as he giggles wildly.

Janus slips him under the comforter and he frowns "you tricked me!"

"That I did." Jan smirks "now get some rest little hatchling." He grumbles but they taper off as Logan and Janus cuddle him to sleep.

#agere #sfwagere #sanders sides #deceit sanders #sanders sides agere #fanfic #sympathetic deceit #logan sanders #agere remus #cg deceit #cg logan #cg janus

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carternate · 4 years

Text

i really dont understand my own feelings

and im fucking terrified of myself.

i refuse to say im okay anymore. my head isnt okay

what im feeling isnt fucking normal

and i take it out on my girlfriend but in the same respect im terrified of telling her shit because i will be exposed. i trust her i want her and i love her more than anything. but i dont know how to explain my emotions anymore. i never did actually. im a fucking mess in general. i hate that i feel stuck in a prison of my own body. its not the dumb ass transgender feeling

its a literal feeling of a cage.

i hate the people in my past. i hate that they still have an impact

i hate that i cant control myself like i used to be able to and that i cant even take my medication because i tell myself im too tough for it lmao. i literally was so close to ending my life, but in an instant this time. not some pussy shit where i begged for help and then it was possible for someone to save me

i almost really just ended it. ended it because i didnt find value in it.

i dont feel good enough and everything seems wrong

but i want to be okay and be good and make it to heaven. i used to have a passion

i used to love god with all my heart but i cant even understand it anymore

its noones fault but my own

and that hurts even more

i cant even try to blame it on another its on me this time

ive lost control

i cant even think long enough to listen in my hour long class.

i thought i was broken before because of a family that degraded me

but whatever the fuck i feel now feels eighty times worse

but i keep it internal and i cant keep it in anymore

im going to fucking explode

im falling apart completely

and im going insane

and i dont feel that i belong here

i literally will sit in my car and think of scenarios

but when i actually start to FEEL its absolutely ridiculous and insane

and SO much.

i try to bring positivity and help anna

and i try to be sure that sentences like this dont happen

but flashbacks hit me hard

the hospital, that week. that first week was insane.

its fucked to say

but i felt like i belonged there. i felt like that could be my home. from the daily vitals,to the little kid that cried in the cornwr, to the creepy ass schizophrenic girl that was my roommate, to jenna, to my freak outs.

i was crazy. but i got to take it out and do it and have people who understood it and tried to help.

geneva ohio. is not a place where i can be okay and myself authentically

i cant even be myself at my fucking work place.

nobody understands shit other than the kids that were there

during our group sessions and even during school i felt like it was okay.

there is just a hole in my head that i can not find anything to fill

im curious about everything and i hve no idea what about

i have questions

so fucking many

and noone wants to hear them

i hate that i cant concentrate

i hate that when i tell my dad im not okay i cant even look him in the eye because all i can picture is coming out of the ambulance and seeing my mom and dad looking at me screaming what hppened

and i have never felt like that in my life.

i cant let go of that. i cant let go of the visual of mallory laying at the edge of my bed before i got sent away to laurelwood looking at me like “fuck dude. you really tried.” she looked sorry for me, but not the kind that people like want. not the kind of compassion

but the scared kind. she looked scared of me. nothing has been the same aince.i want to drown iut my thoughts

and my stupid fucking stutter

and i want to lay in annas arms and cry everything out

but i also want to fucking beat the shit out of someone

and thats not me. im not violent. but i want to like bEAT THE SHIT out of someone. anyone at this point. but whatever

i dont understand how things that are so fucking simple to other people are like fucking complete brain aches for me.

i cant go anywhere alone because i am scared of being physically alone but mentally ive never been more lonely and that scares me.

the story never ends i guess.

i hate how my mind can be spinning in circles and people that say they are there can be right next to me complaining and have no idea i want to jab a knife into my body lol

but then all i would be is a coward if i just ended it all. it would technically be the easy way out and i dont want to be that person. thinking about death doesnt really even scare me anymore, and that thought scares me more than death itself.

in a perfect world i guess everything would be fine

and i would be happy

and never necessarily need to think about things that hurt me or have those little bullets shot at my head with every turn i take.

but thats not reality, and realizing that alone needs

to be a priority that i take.

i probably wont ever live a life without triggers, depression, or anxiety.

and that fucking sucks.

especially because i know that people fake their mental illness just for the attention and they dont have to live with something that prevents them from doing everyday activities or being terrified of little shit

but in my opinion that attention people seek from illness or anything in general is the worst part about it. i hate when people find out about the hospital.

i get embarrassed regardless of how many times people will tell me its okay

like sure its okay. but its not normal. going to a mental institution shouldnt be something everyone does

or everyone knows someone who went. thats just fucked. and i hate that im someone that people will be like “oh emily went to one” or the questions i will get from people are absolutely morbid and NOT their business but i feel obligated to talk about it when people ask. its a fucked up world dude. and sometimes im really fucking sick of living in it.

i just want to be okay again, even if its for a second. just a second of peace and a second of understanding. a fucking break would be nice?

a vacation away with anna and my kitty? if i could get that right now my entire heart would be full. i need two weeks to mentally get myself okay again. but lucky for me that’s not possible, and some may say “welcome to the adult world” and that is such a fucking understatement.

this is never going to be over

and im always going to not be afraid of death and im always going to not know shit about myself and im always not going to treat anyone right and i cant fucking even breathe when im walking yet i still have to work daily. and im so sick of it from beginning to end. and i want my story to fucking end already.

God if you can see this by some small celestial chance you actually give a shit about Earth and its inhabitants fucking help me.

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thelittlehansy · 4 years

Text

How many things Hans share with domestic abusers ?

I just cant count the number time i read that hans remind them of their toxic abusive ex. Hans has already be link to "domestic abuser " in fanfic. in some modern AU fanfic i read Hans beats anna because you know...he is the villain. I also saw that there was some fanfic where Hans rapes anna and elsa 🤢 because you know....he didnt even kiss anna but he would totally do it because yeah....he is the villain.

And just people imagine the worst about what if hans succeed into marrying anna. So lets back to one of my favorite things.

List 🤓🤓

This times how many signs hans share with abuser in the movie ? i took an article on the web about the subject.

1-CHARMING.

“Initially, he showers his woman with praise, adoration, and attention. His courtship is sweet and intense filled with phrases such as, “I can’t live without you.” He quickly pushes for an exclusive relationship or engagement.”

Yes he is charming ! There was love at first sight this is very much possible hans said things describe above maybe he even means some of them because again...that scene when he is alone smile smitten by anna under the boat. The only difference is that there was specific reasons about the fact that he ask quickly Anna to marry him he didn't have times the gates were going to be closed and he could said goodbye to his key to the throne this is why he propose so fast to anna. So the comparison with abusive relationship and what is describe above dont seems really honest as they was an explication to his behavior if he could have times to seduce her during a long time , he would have done it i think (?) one the thing we know about him is that he is a very very patient person.

2. JEALOUS.

“He views other men as a threat to the relationship and accuses you of flirting with everyone from his brother to the mailman. “I know you are looking at him.” The irony is that he often is the one who is cheating.”

Behavior never show in the movie we dont know how he would have reacted to kristoff presence. when his show his "true colors" hans show us that he dont cares about anna and that she is last of his worries.

3. MANIPULATIVE.

“This man is very intelligent. He knows how to detect your weak spots, and he uses your vulnerability and past pain to his advantage. “You were abused as a kid because you are so ugly.”

He never said such an horrible thing like what is described above but...he is smart he us manipulative he did use others people vulnerability ! So very much positive !

but again there is still these problem about hans being manipulative ? ..who put totally in question hans manipulation in the movie toward anna and seriously put doubt about how much he actually manipulate anna.

His smitten smile when she left also present in kids book who tell “ hans is smitten by the princess” the fact that anna called him lunatic and not a liar in the book a frozen of shadow. and hims admitted he did not manipulate her at all in a frozen heart

4. CONTROLLING.

He wants to know where you are going and who you are with at all times. He may check the mileage on your car or follow you to the grocery store. He often refuses to allow you to work because you might “meet someone.”

Behavior never show in the movie again once hans reveal his true colors he show us that he dont give a damn about anna.

5. A VICTIM.

“His poor choices are everyone else’s fault. When he loses his job, gets into a fight, or a business deal falls through, it’s always because of the other person. He is never at fault. “You make me hit you.””

Behavior never show in the movie when he reveal his true colors we dont know.

6. NARCISSISTIC.

“The whole world revolves around him. As the “little woman who is beneath him,” it is your job to meet his every need. He is the master; you are the unworthy slave. It’s invigorating for him to know that everyone around him “walks on eggshells.””

Behavior never show in the movie with anna or with the others people also we dont know.

7. INCONSISTENT.

“Mood swings are a common trait for an abuser. One minute he seems happy and sweet, the next he is pounding his fist.”

Honestly i will not say behavior not show in the movie but more contradictory behavior hans really knows how to stay calm , tolerate frustration and Someone like that would have never succeeded to did what hans did. I think He will act more like the duke of weselton if he had mood swings.

8. CRITICAL.

“No matter how hard you try you will never be able to satisfy this kind of man. He thinks nothing of degrading and verbally assaulting you. “You are a stupid, fat, disgusting tramp. You can never leave me. No other man would have you.””

Behavior not show in the movie at all.we dont know if we cant satisfy hans or if he degrade others people and verbally assault them. Then again he left anna at the end he didnt tell her "no man expect me would want you" but the contrary he break her heart and leave her.

he said to anna that she was desperate for love and was willing to marry him just like that which was true and also an opinion shared by both Kristoff and Elsa and the audience.

the part when he said “you are not a match for elsa” he was responding to anna.

So thats left us with only one thing the “ oh anna if only there was someone out there who loved you”. and trying to deduce that from this line Hans will said to anna the kind of stuff describe above is....extremely exaggerated. Behavior not show in the movie

not enough evidence.

9. DISCONNECTED.

His main goal is to isolate his victim from family and friends so that you are totally dependant on him. “Your family causes too much trouble for us. I don’t want you seeing them anymore.”

Again behavior not show in the movie he never tried to isolated anna when he show his true colors hans dont give a damn about anna anymore. Even the argument between the sisters was not intentional on his part anna arguing with elsa was far from being his goal since him what he wanted was elsa benediction and anna behavior was the last thing that he needed and just the fact that he wants to kill elsa as we all know is in order to be king not to isolated anna from her family.

10. HYPERSENSITIVE.

The slightest offense sends him ranting. Everyone is out to “get him.”

Behavior never show in the movie there was the moment with the duke of weselton but the duke was not even criticized Hans but anna and Hans reaction was to assure his plan.

so we only have hans responding to anna that not this is her that is a not a match for elsa during his betrayal scene. So again based yourself on that and deduce “omg he is hypersensitive” is...exaggerated. We need more evidence. So in the end we just dont know again !

11. VICIOUS AND CRUEL.

A significant number of abusers harm children and animals as well as a partner. Inflicting pain and intimidating others is what gives him power. “I’ll kill you before I’ll let you go. If I can’t have you, no one will.”

Behavior not show in the movie he is able to show kindness to animals as he show it with Anna horse. We dont know about hans relationship with children and his whole relationship with animals.

12. INSINCERELY REPENTANT.

He will swear to never “hit you again.” But unless he receives professional help and strong accountability it’s very unlikely that he will change.

Behavior never show in the movie the betrayal scene.

IN CONCLUSION : , we dont know. we just dont know if Hans had a behavior similar to domestic abuser with their girlfriend/spouse and if Anna would end up in a abusive relationship with him.

honestly (that’s only my opinion ) but judging by his behavior in the movie , his plans , his desire i think Hans would not have been an abusive Husband but an Absent Husband only interest by his job and not his queen since the start even if he liked Anna at some point his big dream to be king is what is the most important to him.

So again the only thing he has in common with domestic abuser is that he is manipulative but even that...hans manipulation on anna...is put in question everywhere in the beginning of the movie...books...vidéo games where it say he has a crush on her.All of the rest we just dont know or he saw contradictory behavior.

Hans never show us to be jealous , controlling, possessive, physically abusive , oversensitive , blame others and play the victim , oR inconsistent. and even based on the movie we just cant affirm that hans is someone that verbally insult person since he never show that behavior again in the movie.

So hans acting like a domestic abuser is as true as a headcanon for someone who will like the idea of him being one.

We just dont know how would have been his marriage with anna. All of this assumptions about hans characters to me really as based on the fact that we compare abusing someone and someone trust and put them in the same case. This is not any better but this is believe are two very different things.

i also have read lot of time woman said " hans was nice to anna and then show his true colors" then they compare that to abusive domestic relationship. But the thing is that an abuser once he show you his true colors he began to be controlling, jealous, physical abusive , emotionally abusive. Hans once he show his true colors. he leave anna he abandon her the comparaison is not very great here since in the end Anna yes would have trust issues but did not suffer of abusive relationship victims suffer.

We also learn think about Hans in his backstory in the frozen Franchise so yeah we dont have confirmation this is canon to the movie but this is very much canon to the frozen franchise and officially publish and approve by disney : He was not an abusive child. he never abuse people on the contrary he was abuse by his father and brothers both physically and emotionally. (the majority of people dont reproduce this behavior once adult but reject it) he Hates violence and is someone peaceful. He is not controlling over person but situation. He has all his life being bully because he is not cruel and hates his father view on social darwinism and how he treat their citizens. He is used to criticized and be called a disappointment. He also dont play the victim. again the only thing confirm by his backstory is that he can be manipulative.

so i m gonna finish that post with that gif who show us that Anna is not scared of Hans. something again that rarely or just dont have in domestic abusive relationship in real life.

#prince Hans #Hans #prince Hans of the southern isles #Disney #Disney villains #disney villain #Frozen Hans #hans frozen #Hans westergaard #frozen

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clownhara · 4 years

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I've been following you for a while but I dont know all that much about your OCs so how about a big resume of them all?? :DDD

I haven't really posted much about them on this account until recently so that doesn't really suprise me 😅 but yeah I absolutely can! Warning though this is going to be unbelievably long

I guess I should start off with Zensuke because he is THE gay purple cat. I named this blog after this guy. I made him when I was probably like 12-13 or around there so he had all the things you'd expect a repressed edgy kid's of to have. He was basically a demon who managed to get out of thier world's equivalent of hell and instead of doing anything evil he just made cake and got married to the guard who was supposed to kill him. I don't really do much with him anymore but I still love him very much.

Corbinian is probably the character I talk most about and he's the one I edit to fit into different worlds the most. He was a normal doctor but he got his memory wiped by robots and ended up working as an executioner for the robotic mafia, but eventually got caught and had to hide out in Lobotomy (he was originally a Lobotomy Corp oc) where he discovered he can extract abnormality dna and with some altering the dna can be injected into humans causing a variety of different mutations and effects. He's usually very heartless and manipulative, but does have a soft spot, usually for anxious, soft spoken people, who subconsciously remind him of his brother (who is a friends if so I can't really get into him). He also was given a variety of nicknames by the higher ups, like Corb, Corn chip, Corb on the Orb, or just Corn. Je

Corble is the result of Corb trying out human cloning. He has the same general appearance as Corbinian, but with purple hair (hence the name, because he's porble corb) that's styled differently. Since the experiment was technically a failure Corb was going to kill him, but Corble was really sweet and innocent and Corb basically went "well great guess I adopted my clone then". Corb stopped messing with cloning but adores Corble.

Might as well get all of my Lobotomy ocs out of the way. Oliver is the first Lobotomy oc I ever made, which is funny because I may or may not constantly forget that he exists. Oliver is basically a five year old kid in an adults body, and I mean that literally, because his parents basically locked him in a room and ignored him so his mental age is basically that of a kids. He's very mischievous and loves pulling pranks on people, most of which are harmless. Unless it's Corb, whom Oliver gates with a passion. Then it's thinly veiled murder attempts disgusted as pranks. He loves Fairy tales, and only works with fairy tale abnormalities because he panics with any other kind. Only one person in the entire facility can even put up with him, and that's Mabel.

Mabel is trans lesbian who can find the good in almost anyone. She's optimistic, bubbly, and has a great sense of humor. She tends to get really flustered around women though. Is it obvious I kinda projected onto her a bit? Because I did. If she wasn't in Lobotomy she'd definitely be a streamer. I'm just now realizing I basically made snapcube before I knew who that was. Whoops.

Up next is Adam! Adam is quiet, nervous, and honestly just prefers to not be noticed. Their ability to almost seamlessly blend into thier surroundings is astounding. Most people (me included) tend to just forget they exist. Which honestly is funny because they end up dating the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. Adam loves horror movies and spicy food.

Kieth is the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. He's the adopted son of a sephirah and the leader of the Rabbit team so that much is unavoidable. He's quick to anger, blunt, and tends to underestimate other people. However, he's also loyal to a fault, and willing to back his friends up no matter what. He feels like his mom's are expecting him to live up to expectations that he can't (and that they don't have but he doesn't realize that), so he's constantly throwing himself in harm's way to desperately try to prove to them that they made a good investment by adopting him or die trying. His two passions in life are collecting weapons and tending to rabbits, two of which he managed to train to sit on his shoulders and attack people. Despite being total opposites he loves Adam very much and will endure any horror movie with them, even if he's a huge scaredy cat.

Damien doesn't gave that much development, unfortunately. He came from a very religious household, moved out, and frequently gets possessed by an abnormality who makes him act like a cryptid. Totally normal stuff. He also went to law school.

Zephyr is a very, very serious individual. They've got a completely monotone color palette, speak either in short, blunt sentences or long, fanciful paragraphs with no in between, and tend to come off as cold and stiff. They're completely devoted to work, which is how they managed to become a captain. Despite this, they're very kind and caring, but unfortunately rarely get to show that side of themselves unless it's with Jamison, thier partner, both in crime and in the romantic sense. They also have a love/hate relationship with Owen, basically openly hating his guts but also enjoys thier banter and would hate if anything genuinely awful happened to them or his family.

Jamison is the complete opposite of Zephyr. He's an open book, very colorful, and tends to slack of when Zephyr isn't looking. Not on purpose, he just tends to get distracted most of the time. He's quite popular because he's very cheerful, which is rare in the higher ranks of Lobotomy. He'd absolutely die for Zephyr, and us usually the one who patches thier wounds. He really doesn't like Owen and thinks thier a pain in the ass, but keeps that to himself most of the time.

Owen is..... Interesting. I kinda went buck wild with him not gonna lie. He's one of the oldest son's of the God of Nightmares and Fire, an absolute agent of choas, and a campy fashion nightmare. But... I love them. They're both unbelievably obnoxious and also very caring. He's the kind of character you'd love but also hate at the same time. He also ended up becoming the God of Death in one timeline. If he wasn't God they'd probably run makeup guru/cursed amsr YouTube channel. Honestly he'd still run those as a God though. Also gender is a toy store and Owen is a kid who broke in after dark and is running along pushing all of the assorted genders into a cart while laughing maniacally (they use any pronouns but I stuck to just he/him they/them for this little snippet)

Alright, Lobotomy ocs done. Up next is.... Ugh... Octavious. He's originally a Danganronpa oc, the shsl gossip, and he was made to be a villian and by God does it show. He's the most fake, back stabbing, two faced character I've ever made. He's also the most one dimensional, which was actually intensional. He has no personality beyond being a petty, lying bitch, so when he runs out of lies and rumors to spread he goes into an existential crisis about how he has virtually no identity until he makes some new lie up about some random person. He's also abusive towards his younger sibling Aspyn, whom he has both physically and emotionally scarred. And, the icing on the "fuck this guy" cake, he's incredibly obsessive over his "wife" Melissa, who wants nothing to do with him and never even dated him, let alone married him. Basically he's a horrible, lying, abusive stalker. He also dresses exclusively in eye burn pink since the most poisonous bugs are usually brightly colored. Fuck Octavious, all my homies hate Octavious.

Next is Melissa, who honestly wasn't much better before her arc. She was raised to believe that in order to truely succeed in life, you have to ensure others fail. She, unfortunately, took that advice to heart. Get arc consisted of learning that we all can succeed together and that actively fucking other people over just made her an awful person, so she changed her behavior and tried to help people from then on out. She's incredibly meticulous, organized, and really smart. She still has issues trusting, but she's getting better. She has a crush on Octavious's younger sibling, but absolutely despises Octavious.

Aspyn is a quiet, caring individual who has no confidence both due to Octavious and just how they were raised. They are an incredibly skilled doctor, however, managing to perform amazingly in several different fields. They are, however, very defensive about thier passions, quick to insult anyone who questions them, mainly due to Octavious. They have a huge crush Melissa, but is to afraid to ask her out. Also they wear an eye patch because Octavious messed up one of thier eyes.

Hooo boy where to start with Edward. He's really inconsistent between universes, but the main constants are his power (he can trade bodies with people), him and Max getting together, him being a huge bookworm, and somehow he usually ends up being my self inserts dad???? Hos other aspects tend to change. Sometimes he's a power hungry megalomaniac who's trying to take over the world and will crush anyone and everyone who gets in his way or isn't useful to him, using his power evily to stay young forever by trading bodies with his kids and killing them when they're in his body. Other times, he's a fairly calm, if not a little cold, man whos biggest crime is the occasional tax evasion, who's power is more of a curse, causing him to stay alive forever through a series of unfortunate coincidences. Either way he's fun to write

Max is one of my favorite characters. He loves baking, his friends and family, he isn't too bright but no one holds that against him. Unfortunately, no matter which side of Edward it is, he's hopelessly in love with him, which can lead to his downfall. He's very protective of his cousin Heron, and tries to protect the innocent, which he usually doesn't end up doing thanks to evil Edwards manipulation. I also somehow failed to mention he's a plant man and flowers sprout wherever he walks and he can control plants but I couldn't find a good way to fit that in naturally.

Heron is half a plant man, in the worst possible way. He has rose vines instead of blood, which feels exactly how you think it would. Magic keeps his alive luckily, but it's unbelievably painful. Most of him and Max's family died when they were young, and unlike Mac who ended up on the streets, Heron ended up in an orphanage, where he learned at a young age that he shouldn't get close to anyone because if he does, they'd die. He genuinely believes that, and the only person he thinks is immune, is his cousin Max, who he even still expects to drop dead. Heron mainly fights by breaking his skin so his vines will grow rapidly and trap and kill his attacker, which looking back is uh. Kinda symbolic. I didn't do that on purpose but it fits

Eden is an angel, who was outcasted from heaven after being framed for a crime they didn't commit. They don't understand how humans work, but is trying thier best to fit in. He's one of the few beings Heron trusts, and even still Heron doesn't trust them much because of Eden's ability, being able to control holy flames. Eden is stoic and aloof, with an odd sense of humor. He insists that him baking using his holy flames is a form of training. Despite them claiming to be above human emotions, they very much are not above them and he is actually quite emotional.

Avocado is one of Herons old friends, who fell victim to Herons "luck" (aka they died). They are a drider (basically spider centaur) who came from a large family of drider thieves. They are very quiet and kind, which they use to thier advantage, since one would thing they'd steal small objects from people's houses or pickpocket them, which Avocado very much does. While they're fairly weak in combat thier thieving skills are not to be underestimated.

Grape is Avocados older sibling, and they are very serious and quite rude. Grape wants to kill Heron to avenge thier sibling, but ends up getting caught robbing the wrong person and ends up having to join the person's kids adventuring party.

Apple is the oldest drider sibling, and ends up taking a motherly role for all of the younger kids. They had to grow up incredibly fast, and has to make all of the hard decisions in place of thier dying father. Desperately needs a break.

There's more spider siblings but there isn't much info on them

Both Sherry and Theodore Poser are mainly just there because I have them really fun designs and don't really have a personality. Sherry's kinda hard to draw though

#this took forever but oh well #im also not tagging every individual oc lol #asks #aki no nyo #gay purple ocs #gay purple posts #long post

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snkpolls · 4 years

Text

SnK Episode 64 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 60 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

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RATE THE EPISODE 53 Responses

The poll closed with 54 responses. The overwhelmingly positive response to the season continues, with 97.9% of folks giving it a 4 or higher and not a single person giving a rating less than 3.

10/10 acting, atmosphere and music

MAPPA couldn't have done a better job. Inhumanely impossible. 20/10.

Just pure hype

Amazing episode, one of the best in the entire series.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 53 Responses

The overwhelming majority of respondents enjoyed the last scene of the episode, with Eren transforming in the basement and assaulting just as Willy formally declares war on Paradis. Behind the climactic moment, the rest of the favored scenes were various moments throughout Eren and Reiner’s conversation prior.

WHICH INTERPRETATION (BY RBA) OF THE OLD MAN’S STORY DO YOU THINK IS CLOSEST TO WHAT THE MAN ACTUALLY THOUGHT? 54 Responses

The Old Man’s story and its motifs have been present all throughout this season, so it’s interesting to see how people see it. When it comes to understanding the Old Man’s thoughts specifically, the plurality (46.3%) agrees with Bertholdt’s interpretation. Others (35.2%) see more to Annie’s idea of the Old Man’s final thoughts. Only 18.5% believe that there’s little use in predicting what’ll never be known.

IN THE SAME VEIN, WHICH OF THE AFOREMENTIONED INTERPRETATION FITS REINER’S STATE OF MIND IN THE BASEMENT SCENE? 54 Responses

In that same vein, the plurality (42.6%) also believes that Reiner wanted to receive judgement, perhaps from Eren. Just a little under 26% believe that in addition to receiving judgement, Reiner also wants to receive forgiveness. Few believe Reiner solely wants forgiveness. Finally, a little under 15% simply aren’t sure what Reiner wants.

He just cant take it anymore, he wanna die. If he stays alive he will become the reason of death of more people which he doesnt want

He wants it to be over

He wants to be killed as an atonement because he can’t live with his contradictory feelings about what he’s done

He wants what happens after someone is judged- to be sentenced. Reiner already judged himself.

I dont care

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET A HUG FROM PIECK? 54 Responses

An incredibly serious question with a lopsided result. Just under 69% would like to receive a hug from Pieck, in contrast to 13% who’d rather not. 18.5% don’t really care about stuff like this.

DO YOU THINK HELOS ACTUALLY EXISTED? 53 Responses

The majority (little under 53%) believe Helos was a complete fabrication, down to his very existence. Some others (18.9%) think he existed, but wasn’t anybody special or (13.2%) think he existed and was actually involved with ending the Great Titan War. A bit over 15% just don’t care.

“I’M THE SAME AS YOU.” EREN SAID THIS TO REINER A FEW TIMES IN THE EPISODE. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? DO YOU THINK EITHER OF THEM HARBOR A GRUDGE AGAINST THE OTHER? 29 Responses

One of the episode’s focuses was the meeting between Eren and Reiner, in addition to their general relationship. Here’s what a few people thought about the central motif of the meeting:

At this point Eren's attitude is all like "It's nothing personal."

Eren is in the same state of mind like reiner, he wanted to become the hero, yet he became a villan in the enemy's eyes

I think Eren's right. They're the same, and S1 and S4 parallel their actions in multiple ways. I honestly don't think Eren has any kind of grudge against Reiner anymore. I think he's moved on from his hatred and is just doing what he thinks he has to. And Reiner just seems ready to die so he doesn't have any kind of grudge either.

I think Eren is definitely holding a grudge, it’s not like him not too.

Hell no, Reiner is an irredeemable monster. Based on the preview for the next episode, whatever Eren does from here on out is justified.

If Eren kills someone dear to Reiner, maybe Reiner will hold a grudge against Eren, otherwise they understand each other reasons.

I think they recognise each other’s efforts to protect their homelands (even if it means destruction) and their determination to do so, and that they have the same motivations and values. i think they don’t have a grudge against each other because they are able to see they are similar people who have just been placed on opposing sides, and that it is nothing more than their duties to bring down the enemy, but at heart, they hold the same values and morals.

I think it mainly shows how Eren has matured over the last few years. He knows Reiner’s intentions now, and he can admit that the two of them are similar without lashing out at him immediately and labeling him as a completely evil man (like he used to). I think Eren might still have some harsh feelings towards Reiner, but it definitely doesn’t seem like it’s his priority right now. Reiner doesn’t clearly display that he has a huge grudge against Eren (though I bet he still isn’t very fond of Eren). More than anything, Reiner seems to be struggling with his thoughts about his time in Paradis. It seems like he can’t accept the fact that Paradis Eldians are not all devils; he may be struggling to suppress this new perspective, and he forces himself to commit to his “honorary Marleyan identity” instead. Thus, I don’t think Reiner hates Eren as much as he used to, as he seems to be showing slight signs of sympathy towards the Paradis Eldians.

No Eren is now a grown ass adult when je was making his decision. Reiner was a kid he was like 11? 12? He didn't know he was an indoctrinated child and he suffered all his life for that. Eren isn't at all the same as Reiner.

I feel like that emphasizes that the people of Marley and Eldia are no different from each other, just that they are on different sides. I do not think Eren and Reiner harbor a grudge against each other.

They’re both pretty fucking broken. I don’t think Eren or Reiner hate each other because Eren said “if it’s to save the world, then you didn’t have much of a choice.” But I also think part of Reiner wants Eren to hate him because he hates himself so much.

i think the old eren would hate him but it’s been 4 years and now i think he has realized that they are in fact very similar. i feel it is very interesting what happened but i think there would still be a minor grudge against each other

They both have the same purpose but different paths, to protect their loved ones from a threat. Since it's not really a personal issue but a bigger picture I don't think they resent each other, it's just a coincidence how they both ended up against each other.

DO YOU THINK THAT EREN AND REINER ARE EFFECTIVE FOILS TO EACH OTHER? 52 Responses

The vast majority (88.4%) seem to agree with the notion of Reiner being a foil to Eren, be it a complete or partial foil. 9.6% dissent and argue that there’s no comparison.

LADY KIYOMI OF THE AZUMABITO CLAN SEEMED TO NOT STICK AROUND FOR TYBUR’S THEATER PRODUCTION. WHY? 52 Responses

An interesting development came in Episode 5 in the form of Lady Kiyomi of the Azumabito leaving Tybur’s Play before it started. The majority (just under 52%) thought it meant that she had ties to Eren and/or the SC. A large minority (34.6%) on the other believe that although she somehow found out about the attack beforehand, she has no ties to Eren. Some others were either already spoiled, believe she got lucky or think she had her own plans of assaulting Tybur during the play.

MR. LEONHART SEEMED ADAMANT THAT ANNIE IS STILL ALIVE AND WILL COME BACK HOME. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 53 Responses

When it comes to Mr. Leonhart’s appearance and his convictions, the vast majority (83%) believe that Annie is alive. The major division comes about whether Annie will be able to reunite with her father or not. Some others believe that Annie is neither dead nor alive and is more permanently stuck in her crystalline state. Only one person believes she is simply dead and that’s that.

REINER IS SHOCKED BY EREN’S PRESENCE ON THE MAINLAND. WHAT’S THE FUNNIEST WAY YOU COULD ENVISION EREN GETTING ACROSS THE SEA? 52 Responses

A bit of a less serious question came out here. How could Eren get across the sea in a less serious manner? Some thought him walking on water would be rather amusing, others believed piggy-backing on Armin’s Colossal Titan would be most humorous. Other options included free-styling across the sea or kayaking.

A ship? Maybe one of those Marley sent to Paradis in the last four years?

bOAT

Had armin yeet him across

He rode on David Hasselhoff

Used one of the Marleyan ships that was sent to Paradis to go to Marley

WHO IS THAT LANKY SOLDIER WHO TRAPPED PIECK AND PORCO IN THE HOLE? 53 Responses

A plurality (45.3%) believes the lanky soldier who trapped Pieck and Porco is someone we already know. Though a little under 23% think that it’s actually a new character only Pieck knows. In a similar vein, 13.2% think that it’s a new character from the SC. 17% appear to have been spoiled, however.

MAGATH ASKS, “HAS IT BEGUN?” WHEN HE LEARNS THE WARRIORS HAVE GONE MISSING. WHAT “IT” IS MAGATH TALKING ABOUT? 51 Responses

Just shy of 50% think that Magath was already aware of Eren and/or SC’s presence in Marley when noting that “it” has already begun. Others believe that he either had some other plan created in conjunction with Willy or was waiting on an attack from the nation of Hizuru. A little under 20% just aren’t sure.

He was anticipating enemy attack

DO YOU THINK WILLY WAS TRUTHFUL WHEN REVEALING THE “TRUTH” TO THE WORLD? 51 Responses

When it comes to Willy revealing the “truth” to the world, the vast majority (72.5%) believe that Lord Tybur was largely truthful when it came to dropping bombshells, but also made sure to twist certain things to get a favorable narrative. Some others think that he was either completely or only partially truthful.

WILLY ACCUSES EREN OF WANTING TO UNLEASH THE COLOSSAL TITANS UPON THE WORLD. DO YOU THINK HE IS JUST DEMONIZING HIM TO GET THE WORLD TO ATTACK PARADIS, OR DO YOU THINK THIS IS SOMETHING EREN IS CAPABLE OF DOING? 51 Responses

A rather noted accusation from Willy rained down upon Eren in this episode. And as a result, we gained a rather colorful pie chart to boot. In it, a slight plurality (23.5%) seemed to believe Tybur’s accusation when it came to discerning Eren’s future plans. Slightly less (19.6%) thought that Tybur was making up BS about Yeagerboy. The same percentage (19.6%) took a middle group, arguing that although Tybur actually believes this is Eren’s plan, Eren actually wants something different. Some others simply note that Eren couldn’t do that dastardly act, even if he wanted to due to lack of royal blood. 21.6% were spoiled about the story’s future.

Pretty sure Eren wants to kill every last person outside of Paradis and is going to use Zeke’s royal blood to do so, but I think Zeke will be tricked or forced into it sonehow

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW BADLY DO YOU FEEL FOR FALCO ABOUT THE WHOLE LETTER FIASCO? 52 Responses

When it comes to Falco and the whole letter fiasco, there is much sympathy for the boy. More than half gave a rating of either 4 or 5 and only 13.5% gave a rating of either 2 or 1. In conclusion, Eren is a mean poopy-head!

EREN TOLD FALCO LAST EPISODE THAT HE HOPED FALCO WOULD LIVE A LONG LIFE. YET HE TRANSFORMED ON TOP OF HIM IN THIS EPISODE. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 52 Responses

Staying on the topic of Falco, and Eren’s actions being contradictory to his words, almost 56% believe that although Eren was honest with his words in regards to Falco’s future, he had no qualms about letting that get in the way of his plans. A noted minority (28.8%) think that Eren hoped Reiner would protect the young boy. A small percentage also thought that Eren was simply lying to Falco.

DID YOU EXPECT EREN TO TRANSFORM ON TOP OF REINER AFTER HIS SPEECH ABOUT THEIR SIMILARITIES? 51 Responses

When it came to the episode’s ending, the majority seemed to expect Eren’s transformation, be it because of spoilers or own predictions (58.8%). A noted minority (41.2%) did not expect it, however, predicting either a recruitment attempt from Eren or something else entirely.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I loved the music. It made all so tense my heart was beating like crazy.

WILD AND AN EMOTIONAL ROLLARCOASTER

As an anime only, i think that the choice of ost in this episode was beyond good. I don't see why people are complaining about the ost. For me it was perfect because Eren's transformation was like a sudden turn and 2Volts is perfect for that just like when they reveal the owl as the Attack titan. Wayyy better that YSBG or any ost that these manga readers were hoping it to be. Mappa and the production crew doesn't deserve any of these hate. Done ranting fgs.

Grim Reminder 2.0, but with Marley and the Warriors finally getting what they deserve for what they've done? I'm DOWN for that!

I’m wondering whether Historia is still Queen and how much character development she had gone through as a monarch during war

The people who complain about the music choices of the directors are just pure titan idiots

Assuming he lives through this battle, I think Falco is going to be one of the main characters in season 4. He has been telling himself that he “does not want to fight anymore” and he was probably influenced by what Eren (Mr. Kruger) had said to him on the bench. I can see Falco maybe rebelling against Marley in the future, but for now he’s clearly still devoted to Marley. Overall, I loved this episode, and season 4 is finally picking up with the action. I was looking forward to seeing our protagonists (Eren and the Scouts) again, and I thought it was interesting how Eren seemed much more mature, yet still somewhat insane in this episode. I am very excited to see the next episode, particularly to see the rest of the Scouts and to see what happens in the “war” Eren starts. I am also curious to see if anyone from any other nations decide to side with the Eldians, or if all of them simply believe Willy and hate the Paradis Eldians too.

manga readers really need to shut up and put bigger spoiler warnings 😐 loved the episode despite getting spoiled.

It was one of the best episodes of AOT I have seen, I truly don’t understand why or how people could complain about it. I’ve seen the posts about the soundtrack not fitting the episode but I honestly do not agree. The whole episode was perfectly directed and had me on the edge of my seat the whole time.

Ost's totally fine, so is the CG. I think most are too invested in the episode to give a fuck except Manga readers.

I wish the Paradisians would have found another way to achieve their objectives instead of killing innocent civilians, like maybe targeted attacks on key military targets, or demonstrations of strength or public information campaigns to dissuade Marleyans and other people from wanting to go to war against them.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 48 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again next episode!

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illusionlockarchive · 5 years

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pazam: a mess, truly a mess

so i usually dont do these kind of posts, i guess you could say its a call out of some sort? but i never liked that word, i prefer rather to just compile sources on WHY people would believe that a certain person is not truly as nice and understanding as they seem. consider this more of a psa post, detailing on whats going on with pazam on the sfm community, why so many people are against them.

So, a while back, tumblr user jymble made a post on the main tag stating that pazam was transphobic. they linked back to this post, which contains screenshots of pazam in a group chat stating that they do not feel comfortable with the idea of trans people. now, this did happen 9 months ago, true. however, for the record, pazam is already an adult, 24 years old, so they should have some tact. and as further and more recent events will show, they actually havent changed that much at all, at least not as they claim.

the screenshots should be in the post, but here is a transcript

[Screenshot one]

Pazam:

What????? Why?????

I literally HAVE NOT been doing ANYTHING malicious to them

And if it did I apologized

Yes I do have discomfort about them but I keep it to myself

Why are you doing this????

[End screenshot one]

‘Them’ here refers to trans people in general. Notice the defensive and victimizing stance they almost immediately take upon being confronted about their feelings on trans people.

[Screenshot two]

elliott:

of COURSE you dont

sammaku:

Like specifically

Elliott hush

Pazam:

This whole concept of transness and changing your gender physically

I hate to say it again but it weirds me out and it makes me question my own gender which flings me into anxiety, depression, and obsession

sammaku:

Its fine to not understand but are you willing to learn about it

Pazam:

I don’t want to talk about this anymore

sammaku:

That depression anxiety and obsession just comes with gender issues

(the rest of the text is cut off)

[End Screenshot two]

notice once summaku asks them if they would at least be willing to learn about it, pazam immediately deflects it by saying they dont want to talk about it anymore.

[Screenshot three]

Pazam:

Seriously??? That’s all it takes????

Wow I’m a moron

I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused to you

@.aziraphale @.elliott @.sammaku

I just don’t get this stuff period

And I’ve gotten into trouble with this stuff before

I’ll probably never understand it for the rest of my life but I’ll try to be more tactful around y’all

Especially since you’re all young

And I’m like an adult

[End screenshot three]

While at first this would seem like they had finally learned their lesson and apologized, the things they add on after the @s become quickly worrying. Not only do they admit to ‘have gotten into trouble with this stuff before’, meaning they have probably shown their transphobia in other places and been called out, but they also stand firmly on the fact that they will never understand it or ‘get’ it.

And of course, as jymble points out, the implication that the people they were talking to were only acting like that because they were young.

A while after this post was made, Pazam had posted an apology, and went onto contact jymble asking for the post with the evidence of their transphobic to be taken down. The reason? They were afraid people would see it and think they were still transphobic and not give them a chance.

In this more recent post, you can see the conversation play out between Pazam and jymbles. Long story short, Pazam feels that it’s unfair that that post is still up after they apologized, and jymble of course said they would rather not take it down, people deserve to know what they did and take their own conclusions, even if that involves avoiding them. How does Pazam respond? By flat out deleting the apology post. I’d love to show the apology post to give you both sides of the story but I cannot anymore, because Pazam in a very bizarre move just deleted it because they got mad a trans blogger wouldn’t take down their post with proof.

Here’s the transcript of the screenshots:

[Begin Conversation]

rebloggidy (Pazam’s personal):

I’m by no means transphobia-free after learning what I’ve done but at least I know my actions and am making an effort to be a better person towards trans people.

rebloggidy:

Hi again. So I hate to be that person but would it be ok if you took down that post about the transphobia claims? I know it took me 9 months to apologize but if people only see your side of the story and not realize the post I saw they’ll take it out of context and still think I’m transphobic. Do you understand?

jymble:

... i already told you im not taking down the post.

[jymble sends a screenshot of her own message in a previous conversation, the screenshot reads as follows:

however, i dont think im taking the post down, nor am i entirely comfortable with you interacting with me either. people deserve to know how you acted with this stuff, until youre really and truly *better* with it instead of just trying, and i was a direct target of it]

jymble:

you oughright told me "im by no means transphobia-free", word for word sorry, but i told you before. im not taking the post down.

rebloggidy:

I remember that. But what I'm trying to say to you is that if people who read it out of context will immediately think I'm still transphobic without the other side of it (my comment)

And I don't want people to think that in the future

jymble:

if people make assumptions without looking at the entire situation, thats on them

i am not deleting the post and thats final. people have a right to know what youve done, and they have a right to be uncomfortable

rebloggidy:

I'm ready to take down my post because frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to justifiy something that I did 9 months ago, and that people grow and learn even not 100% during that time and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still into smile for me and feel free to make a blacklist of my name so anybody who rbs my work on your dash can have it hidden or something.

Take care.

[End conversation]

a lot to unpack here, but perhaps most notable is when jymble simply stands her ground and tells pazam she wont take down the post, pazam straight up decides, without being told to or anything, that they should take down their apology. later on, they made a post stating why they deleted the post, and saying they had ‘been forced to’.

I also would love to link it here, but as of now of writing this, like, not even an hour or so after I had seen that post, it got deleted. The only memory I have of it is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about Pazam, in which I copypasted a fragment from that post that read:

“ So for those wondering where the apology post went, I was forced to delete it. I wanted to archive it in some way so I could pull it up for reference, but there was no way I could. Also I didn’t really want to see it every time on my blog because quite honestly it’s upsetting to look at.”

There are some lies and twisting of truths here. Pazam wasn’t forced to delete it, they decided they should do it as a way to somehow get back at jymble. And the excuse that it was upsetting for them to look at is just inexcusable, what matters most, letting people know of what youve done and that youre sorry, or just never addressing the situation?

But, well, I’m just hoping you’ll take my word for it. As you see, Pazam has officially deleted ANY traces of acknowledging this situation on their blog.

This worries me. If Pazam is truly as concerned that they will be seen as transphobic as they claim, why are they deleting anything that could give them a chance of showing their own side of the story?

Now, that is the end, for now, of Pazam’s history with transphobia. However! It is not the end for some other very shady things.

Namely, Pazam has consistently whitewashed characters from Smile For Me, specially Kamal, and when called out on it, simply deletes the asks.

Want to know how I know this?

I sent them an ask myself. I had come across this picture of Boris and Kamal:

And I knew that this wasn’t right. I can understand using light colors and doing watercolor, but if they can make Boris’ hair brown and vivid enough, why not Kamal? He looks like another character completely, or like he’s deathly sick!

So I sent them an anonymous ask, perhaps a bit exhasperated, true, and my wording could be better. It went something like: “i am begging you to draw kamal with darker skin”.

I waited, checked. But nothing came of it. They never answered it.

Pazam flat out ignored when they were told they had drawn a canonically brown man with skin way too light. Not even a lone text post saying ‘hey anon, i dont agree with you’ or ‘hey anon im sorry it wont happen again’. Nothing. No word, no opinion.

And with this situation going on with them evading responsibility, I can’t say I’m fully surprised.

And, yet another thing. People had expressed concern over the fact they had drawn their Flower Kid, who is 17, in very intimate and close positions with Dr. Habit. It included nuzzling faces, cuddling in bed together, wearing his coat...

And they did hear the claims this time. As of now, their Flower Kid is 24, according to them.

Except... They do not look 24. At. All.

this is a 12 year old. at best. short body, stubby legs, big head. those are all attributes of a very young character, usually children. like, legitimately, thats how childrens anatomy is in real life. the younger the person, the bigger their head is in proportion to their body.

We have already had an adult trying to justify drawing their flower kid who barely looked like an adult if at all in intimate situations with Habit. Let’s not let it slide by again.

And yes, I’m aware Pazam claims that those pictures were not supposed to be interpreted as romantic, ‘only platonic fluff’ and that they intend to keep it that way, but I have talked to my boyfriend who is a survivor and he said it very well could be a case of someone just trying to cover their tracks.

BUT, all that being said, maybe this one particular instance could be just us being wary. Still, it does not diminish all that they have done, specially ignoring the whitewashing claims.

What you are going to do with this information, I do not know. Maybe you don’t care and will keep reblogging their content. Maybe you’re disgusted by them. But I’m just here to give you the facts. Personally though, I’m not willing to give them much of a chance after the way they’ve behaved. They are 24 years old, three years older than me, and I think I could do a better job of handling a situation like this, frankly.

#don't be scared. i am here with you.#smile for me #smile for me game

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