#the lady who really makes me wish I listened to my sister and never read her shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snowbellewells · 1 year

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"Carolina Moon" update {Chapter Two}

Hello Friends! Here we are at last with the next chapter of my @cssns23 fic!! I sincerely never meant to keep everyone waiting so long; real life got really hectic there for a bit, and I had to focus on the job that pays the bills in the few hours that were left over! Anyway, I hope that you'll forgive me and enjoy this update. If it's any sort of consolation, it nearly doubles the length of the story so far...

Also, this story is now moving into M-rated territory. After talking with a few fandom friends and readers, this seems like the way to go to be on the safe side and let everyone know what they're reading upfront. I don't know that I find my love scenes half as spicy as others I've read, but there is one for sure in this chapter, and it will not be the last before all is said and done. I hope that doesn't turn anyone away from reading, but I would rather someone know before starting than be bothered by it after the fact.

**As always, thank you SO MUCH to @eastwesthomeisbest for this beautiful cover art to go along with the story, and to @xarandomdreamx for her thoughtful beta reading comments, suggestions, and encouragement.**

Can be read from the beginning HERE on Tumblr or HERE on AO3

Summary: Emma Swan has returned to the town she grew up in, and the past that has haunted her no matter where she has run. She seeks answers and peace at last. Despite the years that have passed, some things haven't changed very much in Storybrooke, South Carolina, and one of those things is Killian Jones. He never forgot the gangly girl with the world on her shoulders and pain in her eyes, but will he finally be able to slip past her defenses and help her find the answers she seeks?

Chapter Two: Secrets Beneath the Surface

By the time Killian got back home to the family home that afternoon, he could already hear their housekeeper Johanna scolding Ruby from the kitchen, as soon as he crossed the threshold. “Well, what else was you expectin’ Miss Sassy Britches, sashayin’ all over town the way you do? Didja think that would make you a lot of friends ‘mongst the other young ladies?”

Killian kicked off his shoes in the mud room, well aware that the older woman who had practically raised he and Ruby - more so than either of their parents had done - would turn on him next if he tracked up her clean floors. Making his way quietly along the well-worn path to the kitchen at the back of the house, he could practically hear his sister huff and sputter indignantly at Johanna’s rebuke and picture all too well the way she’d roll her eyes and pout, before grumpily going to Johanna’s side and taking up whatever chore the woman had no doubt bid her to help with before their little spat had begun.

It was a rhythm as old as Killian could remember, since almost the first afternoon Johanna Bishop had appeared in their kitchen - cooking, cleaning, puttering and tending to all the essential but seemingly unworthy, household chores his mother simply couldn’t be bothered with. If - as the Jones children had grown - those chores also came to include bandaging scraped knees, soothing hurt feelings, listening to whispered wishes, and cuddling and correcting where needed, well, that had fallen naturally under her purview as well. Even more so when the three children had become just two.

Stopping in the open doorway, Killian leaned against the jamb for a moment, trying to keep his chuckling to himself as he watched his tall, leggy sibling with brilliant red streaks running through her dark hair frowning in deep concentration next to the short, rather round Johanna, trying diligently to match the rosy-cheeked, twinkling-eyed matron’s deft and graceful speed at coring and slicing apples, and failing miserably. He must have made some involuntary noise, however, because both women looked up at him in surprise.

Johanna’s bright eyes smiled at him as her cheeks crinkled with the welcoming grin he could always look forward to, no matter how long he had been gone, whenever he returned. Ruby stuck her tongue out at him when he smirked at her efforts, arching an eyebrow as if to question what in the world she was trying to do.

“Oh? Think you can do better, do you?” she challenged, flipping a discarded peel his way, before Johanna hushed her, not about to have food flying on her watch, just before Mrs. Jones’ formal dinner was expected in the dining room; as formally as it had been expected every night for years.

They all quieted for a moment at that remembrance, none of them necessarily wanting to summon the lady of the house any sooner than necessary - though that feeling went unspoken. Johanna’s nimble fingers flew over her task, the knife flashing with ease, and Killian noticed that Ruby’s movements gained confidence as well the longer she worked at it.

Giving a bit of a playful bow in flirtatious chivalry, he greeted them with, “How can I help, Miss Johanna?” and his most charming grin.

“Oh Sugar,” she demurred, “you don’t need to do nothin’ but pull up a chair and tell me ‘bout your day. Things are almost ready in here.”

Pausing to put a hand on her hip, Ruby mock glared at him, before turning to the older woman in challenge. “And why are you always nagging me, and then turning around and acting just sweet as sugar to Killian? I suppose he’s your favorite now, too?”

Ruby’s question was largely put-on sass, that melted into an unconvinced, “Uh huh, sure,” when Johanna blithely assured her that “Sweetness is as sweetness does.” All the same, Killian could see the doubt underneath her churlishness, and the longing in his sister’s expression, not wanting this one person she depended on, no matter how much they snipe at each other, to dismiss her as everyone else did. Honestly, Killian thought to himself with a guilty pang, he had written her off and disregarded her many times himself over the years. He hadn’t done it to be cruel, more out of his own survival instincts and desire to avoid conflict. Where he had withdrawn into his own thoughts, focused on achieving goals, meeting the standards set for him, making up for what had been lost, even if he ran himself ragged in the attempt, Ruby had instead completely cut herself free from all boundaries and expectations, going wild, or at least appearing so to the untrained eye. The moment she had gotten the chance, she’d fled Storybrooke on the back of her boyfriend’s Harley - eloping and not returning to Storybrooke until she had seen her fill of everywhere else. She played at nonchalance - as if nothing bothered her or could even penetrate the perfectly painted-on armor their mother had taught her to apply so well long ago.

She hadn’t really been back home that long, but Killian found himself wanting to get to know Ruby all over again, to bridge the gap that had grown between them over the years while they each attempted to weather the hurt and neglect in their own ways. The simplest method for doing that seemed to be in joining the easy banter between Ruby and Johanna, so he waggled both eyebrows at her, both in playful challenge and as an annoyance to his ‘little’ sister, then he circled the island easily to pull Johanna into a side-hug and plant a smacking kiss on the older woman’s cheek before nettling Ruby with, “Hear that? I’m sweetness itself. Maybe you should try a little sweetness sometimes and see how far it gets you.”

Johanna’s softly weathered cheeks crinkled with well-worn laugh lines, even as she rolled her eyes and shooed him away - but not before he snatched a sugar and cinnamon-dusted slice of apple from the pie crust she was crimping, causing Ruby’s eyes to narrow at him further in playful indignation. “You just hush now with all that, Killian Jones,” their housekeeper scolded. “Your sister has more than enough sweetness to share when she takes the notion - you just don’t give her any more reasons to be sour.” And though the woman who had been with their family for as long as Killian could remember, imbuing their kitchen with a warmth and comfort that the rest of the pristine, stately old home notably lacked, was warning him with her words, she also winked at him slyly - letting him know that she was glad he’d joined their fun, and that she was still nettling Ruby a bit herself.

Shaking out her mane of dark hair with a dramatic flounce, and planting her red-lacquer nailed hands on her hips, Ruby fixed them both with a fiery look. “Just the two of you know, plenty of people find me a delight to be around. Maybe I should take myself off somewhere I’m appreciated.” Turning on her heel with all the precision and purpose of a high fashion runway model rather than the demure Southern debutante their mother had hoped for, she stalked toward the doorway which led from the kitchen back into the hall, only to turn around before she left with a retort on her tongue when Johanna called after her.

“You tell that nice Dr. Hunter hello for me, Ruby Jean. You should bring him round here for a nice, home cooked meal sometime. That sweet young man needs a little meat on his bones.”

“But - I didn’t - why do you think- ?” Ruby spluttered indignantly, never finishing any of the attempted comebacks and finally just snapping her mouth closed and shaking her head with vigorous agitation.

Killian would have been laughing at her plight if he hadn’t been so wide-eyed and flummoxed himself by their housekeeper’s words. Oh, he’d known alright that his best friend since grade school had been nursing a painfully awkward silent crush on his remaining sibling, pretty much since puberty. What he’d never realized or noticed as Ruby had chewed up and spit out a first husband and teased and strung along countless other men since, was that maybe she was aware of Graham’s feelings - possibly even returned them.

“And you,” she turned from squinting at Johanna as if sizing her up to point an accusing finger at Killian, “don’t just think you can come in here and take over the one room in this place where I can actually breathe, just because you’re the family’s perfect prince and entitled to whatever you want.”

Killian jerked back at the sharp edge to her voice until he looked for a moment at the tensed pain of her features behind the dangerously flashing brown eyes. She was hurting - aching, in fact - at the idea that her one ally in her own home might also turn to the heir, her big brother, as well.

He had always known she snapped and hissed partly out of pain; he felt it too. They all did. He missed Rose awfully - more than he would have ever imagined - but to have shared the womb with her? To have been joined with her from birth and then suddenly find her gone? He couldn’t imagine that. And maybe he hadn’t really wanted to see just how much turmoil hid beneath his sister’s vexing habit of picking fights and pretending he drove her crazy, or how much loneliness was painted over with her vivacious bombshell facade. At any rate, he didn’t pick an angle and fight back at her as he normally would have, instead he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, giving a slight dip of the chin and a tentative smile. “Aye, Ru… Well do I know you and Johanna are the undisputed queens of this domain. I only wanted to join you for a moment.”

She huffed as if not knowing quite what to make of his earnest admission, then with a shrug of her shoulders and one more toss of her head, she merely replied, “Whatever you say,” and was gone. But he hadn’t missed that small half smile tilting up one corner of her mouth, or the spark of hope in her eyes. Maybe they weren’t as far removed from each other as he had feared.

Johanna turned and tilted her head up to look at him knowingly before patting him on the cheek and affirming, “You’re a good boy, Killian. You always have been. And you’ve grown into a fine man. Just don’t you give up on that sassy sister of yours, you hear? She needs us more than she’d like to own. Much like Miss Emma, I’ll wager.”

Killian smiled at the older woman warmly before nodding in agreement and scoffing lightly at her uncanny prediction, knowing she had him there and he couldn’t even argue. “You’ve always seen a lot more than we realize, haven’t you?”

She was the one to wink knowingly at him this time. “You’d better believe it,” she retorted. “That’s part of my charm.”

Chuckling and shaking his head, Killian wasn’t about to challenge her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Not half an hour later, at Hunter Veterinary Clinic on the outskirts of town, Graham was closing up for the evening when he heard the bell on the door jangle, signaling someone’s arrival. He was puttering around in the back, making sure that the surgery was cleaned and sterilized for the following morning, and that the mother golden retriever and her unexpected litter of mixed breed pups he’d delivered in a tense, last minute c-section that afternoon were settled in the kennel area for the night, and he had been certain they (he and the dogs) were the only ones still there. He knew that Grace, his summer assistant while she was home from college, was normally careful to be sure the sign was off and the door closed and locked when she left, but maybe she’d forgotten something.

“I’m in back!” he called out distractedly, still running over his mental checklist of closing chores to accomplish as he awaited an answer. “But we’re closed for the evening. Is this an emergenc– “

The door from the waiting room and lobby swung open while he was still speaking, only to reveal a vision that made him choke on the end of his words and nearly swallow his own tongue as well. Graham knew he had flushed all over almost instantaneously at the sight before him, a sweat that was part embarrassment and part lustful attraction breaking out across his skin. His eyes were wide as he shook his head in stunned disbelief, drinking in the temptation of Ruby Jones posing seductively where she leaned against the doorframe and watched him knowingly.

When several silent moments had ticked by, the heat and tension in the room between them only climbing higher, Ruby finally quirked a dark, artfully sculpted brow and smirked at him, those full red lips glistening in a lure so effective Graham could think of nothing but grabbing her, pulling her close, and capturing them with his own until his need was sated. And she knew it too - she always had. Pushing off from the wall and slinking toward him purposefully on blood red kitten heels, she began to unknot the belt of the trench coat cinched at her waist as she fairly purred her response. “Well, you see, Doctor Hunter, it is an emergency. I’m burning up with fever - one only you can break.”

By then, she stood directly in front of him, where he had backed up against the stainless steel surgical table and was clenching and releasing his hands into tight fists, straining mightily to keep himself from grabbing her and clutching much too tightly. Ruby Jones was nothing if not untamed; a wild bird that ventured close, playfully allowing the observer to think he could hold her. But he knew she would flit off and leave him behind again if he made the wrong move. Instead, Graham watched her intently, muscle working in his jaw as her graceful fingers danced across his chest and shoulders, tracing over muscle and skin, inflaming him with her touch as she went. Tilting her head to one side, Ruby shamelessly licked her lip before grinning broadly. “What’s the matter, Hunter? Cat got your tongue?” She snorted at her own little joke. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

Bringing her hands to the lapels of the coat she wore, now loosened and unbelted, Ruby parted the fabric on either side and allowed the garment to fall to the floor at their feet. Pleased amusement flooded her veins at Graham’s bulging eyes and gaping mouth. Completely bare beneath the thin jacket, she’d felt a thrill running through her since leaving the house in search of him, and the power sizzling along her nerve endings, where she usually felt as though she were careening out of control, was genuinely intoxicating.

Poor Graham couldn’t seem to move and managed only to hoarsely croak out, “Ruby, w-what are you…? Someone could… could walk in here and see… This is a place of business! You can’t just…” He swallowed hard, and her eyes tracked the reflexive movement of his Adam’s apple with ravenous intent.

“Are you sure about that, Doc?” she teased seductively, clicking the ‘c’ with her tongue exaggeratedly, despite his eyes already being glued to her lips - and every other part of her on display before him. Voice low and throaty, cajoling him to take what he very clearly wanted - what she wanted too - she added, “I’m pretty sure I can actually. I’m standing right here waiting. What are you going to do about it?”

His handsome face reflected his inner conflict for several long moments, and Ruby fought not to hold her breath in worried anticipation. She didn’t care that much if he accepted her offer, she tried to tell herself, but deep down she was well aware of how much of a lie that was. Brow furrowed, Graham struggled to resist her manfully, but it was a lost battle even before he began. He had never been able to deny her; they both knew it, and today would not be any different. At last, with a growl of mingled frustration and lust, he lurched forward, his dexterous, long-fingered hands gripped her hips and pulled them into his own roughly before practically devouring her mouth with an almost maddened groan of arousal.

Sinking into his clutches, Ruby thrilled at his loss of control, all synapses firing and the blood boiling in her arteries as he finally gave her exactly what she wanted. Clinging to his bicep to stay upright as her knees went weak, Ruby plunged her other hand into his hair, mussing the honey-coloured curls he’d never outgrown between her fingers and pulling them tightly in response to his ardent desire and how he was further igniting her own.

Desperate by then, Graham was long past caring who might have seen her walk in past closing, what small town rumors might get started, whether or not Ruby was simply using him again to have a little fun and forget the past that nipped at her heels, and how he knew it would chip away another small piece of his soul when they finished and she wouldn’t stay in his arms. Whirling to push her back against the exam table in the center of the room, earning him an enthusiastic moan from deep in Ruby’s throat, even muffled by his own lips over hers. Sweeping a hand over the cool, hard surface with reckless abandon, Graham cleared it to easily lift her onto the tabletop and soon had her spread out on it, frantically working to strip out of his lab coat and remove his shirt, even as her grasping hands fumbled for the button and zipper of of his pants to free him to her touch.

Writhing against him, Ruby grinned up at him wolfishly, her cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling, every bit the goddess he’d never been able to deny a thing: the dessert from his sack lunch, the use of his first car, and every inch of his body and corner of his heart. She wrapped her long legs around his trim hips, demandingly pulling him closer still, before he thrust forward and finally sunk into her willing body, welcomed home once more.

Leaning over her as he moved, Graham captured her nipple between his teeth, his scruff abrading the sensitive skin around it as he did and stealing her breath when he bit down just at the edge of too much. He captured both her hands, twining their fingers together and pressing them to the steel surface on either side of her head. Setting the rhythm they both craved, feeling the rightness of what he had missed echoing through his body as they moved together, Graham forced himself to take the moment he had; enjoy it, love her enough so that she would feel it, despite refusing to see what they could have always, and not let himself think of what came after.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Killian had just left the kitchen, still contemplating his relationship with his sister and the things Johanna had told him, when he was brought up short by the regal, silent appearance of his mother, Cora Jones, the once-belle of Storybrooke, in the hall nearby, studying him with an icy assessment which made him feel distinctly like she had heard all they had said and could read his mind beside. Forcing himself not to startle or recoil physically like some teenager caught sneaking out past curfew (he had actually never been caught at that in his youth, though by the time he’d had a license and places to run, the dangers parents fear for their children at night had long since struck and the damage been done) Killian gave his mother a nod of respectful deference, smiling at her carefully and waited, knowing there must be something she intended to say.

Cora’s bearing was still poised and correct, standing straight enough to appear taller than her actual height, her chin tilted rather haughtily. Even in the comfort of her own home, before no one but her eldest child, her skirt and jacket ensemble was impeccably tailored and she had not a hair out of place, her makeup flawless. Her eyes had lost none of their shrewdness as she moved nearer to her golden years. And Killian couldn’t help wondering with a blend of bitter sadness if she would allow anything about them to be golden or fulfilling. His mother retained all of the clout and reputation she had held in her prime, but her sharp edges had only grown harder and more jagged with the loss of, first her favored child, and then her husband, to his own grief and poor choices.

He was right of course. A moment later Cora’s clear, measured voice reached his ears with unmistakable authority; as always, she meant what she said and expected to be obeyed. Though his mother had never been especially warm or effusive, Killian had always known she was pleased with him, proud that he was living up to the Jones family name as she saw fit. Things he really had no power or control over - his natural good looks, athleticism, intellect, and so on - were only to be expected, and so, when he excelled in school, made the papers and the Homecoming court, and earned a college scholarship, or when the other mothers in her social circle all enviously wanted their daughters to catch his eye, well then Killian was merely behaving as he ought and garnering just the sort of attention she had hoped he would. He had grown up following in his father’s footsteps, learning all he could about running their small shipping business and how to manage all that would one day be his.

Killian had never rebelled or railed against the expectations, the assumption that he would blindly follow along on the path laid out for him, until recently. He had made several changes to modernize and streamline the business - almost two years ago now - and things had been tense between he and his mother as a result. Cora did not welcome change in any arena, not unless it was on her orders, and though she deeply resented her husband’s gradual decline and eventual abandonment at his death, she did not see why Killian needed to upgrade what had always worked well for Brennan. She had gone as far as threatening to withdraw her shares from the operation until Killian’s changes had doubled - then tripled - their profits, word of mouth bringing in a steady stream of new clients and renewed raves from established ones at their company’s efficiency and success. There was no arguing with such hard evidence, and so Cora had grudgingly relented, but she had not forgotten.

However, even at a glance, Killian could see that the bone she meant to pick with him would not be resolved with patience and time. He gritted his teeth against offering a harsh warning for her to save her breath. He knew before she spoke a word what she wanted to discuss, but this time she would find him every bit as unyielding as she was herself.

Without further preamble, Cora leveled her accusation. “You’re renting that cabin on the marsh to her, aren’t you? Despite what she’s done, and knowing how it would displease me, you’ve let that Swan girl waltz right back into our lives and invited her to make herself at home. I simply cannot understand it, Killian.” Her words were clipped out distinctly, but as cold and pointed as chips of ice. “Do you not remember what associating with the likes of her cost your sister? Or are you looking for a reason to spite me? I hardly think I have done anything to merit such hurtful defiance.”

She waited, seeming to have all the time in the world for her son’s reply, but Killian was still tempted to stare back, challenging her silently, waiting to speak until he discovered whether the pristine veneer she presented to her family right along with the rest of the world would crack and show some human feeling underneath. In the end though, Killian couldn’t hold out forever; she was still his mother, and despite his frustration, the manners she had pressed into him from birth would not allow it. Not only that, but he knew what she had suffered, the pain and loss she had endured - just as he had. It might have made her brittle and untouchable, but he always had the hope somehow that things might thaw between them yet.

With a sigh, he released the answer on a low breath, still meeting her eyes to let her know both his resolve and that he was hardly ashamed of his choices. “You clearly already know that I am, Mother. Though you might not believe this, it was not a decision made to hurt anyone - least of all you. Emma Swan is moving back into town. She needed a place to stay, and ours was available to rent. Honestly, I was glad to have it, to do something to help her out after how horribly we treated her years ago.”

He meant every word, but, as he had expected, her eyes widened with indignance, her voice finally losing its polished control. “What we did to her?!” Cora Jones spluttered, clearly appalled and faintly trembling in her righteous anger. “It was she who took our sweet angel from us. If we had kept Rose away from her… If she hadn’t crept out to meet that vagabond child…. Rose would still be here!”

Killian had heard this argument many times, yet the unfairness of it never ceased to stoke his own temper. Fighting to remain calm, he tried to reason with his mother, to speak in a tone that still remained civil - tightly wound as it was and on the knife’s edge of tipping over. “You know as well as I do that Ms. Swan is not Rose’s killer. There was never any chance of that. She was thirteen years old, still a child just like Rose, and Rose was her only friend in the world. She was as devastated as we were.”

Cora could not have appeared any more injured or insulted if he had drawn back his hand to strike her. “No one has suffered as we have,” she hissed, eyes flashing dangerously, “certainly not that little she-devil! How dare you even suggest it?” She took a seething step closer, appearing as taken by emotion as Killian had seen her through the smooth, proper mask in years. “You mark my words, Killian,” she continued distinctly, eyes boring into him like pinpricks through his skin, “you may have control of this family’s land, the business, all the executive decisions your father left to you as intended, but I do not condone you allowing that woman to live on our property. Not even for a second, do you hear me? There is something not right about her - always has been - and you will live to regret letting her back into our world. Rose must be rolling over in her grave at the very thought - “

Flinching away so abruptly that his mother’s words were cut off and they both stood, breathing harshly in the horrible silence, Killian finally shook his head sadly and broke eye contact. He turned to leave, at last seeing with regrettable finality that Cora Jones would never change her mind, not for anyone or anything, no matter how much time passed. At the door, he looked back at her, his eyes betraying the strange mix of pity and bitterness she had stirred up in him anew. “You’re the one who should feel regret. Rose was good and kind, the best of us all. It would break her heart to know you’ve spent all these years holding a grudge and nurturing hatred against the person she considered another sister. I am finally thinking about what Rose would have wanted. Then maybe we can all let her rest in peace.”

That final admonition voiced, Killian was out the door in the next instant, letting it slam behind him exactly as he had been reprimanded against all his life. Even as one part of him cringed, he also felt a thrill of petty satisfaction too, knowing it made Cora crazy for such noisy outward shows of temper and bad breeding to be on display. Hurrying down the wide front steps to his truck, Killian gripped his keys in hand tightly, not at all sure where he was going, only that any place seemed preferable at that moment.

His cell went off, just as he reached the driver’s side door. Fishing it out as he settled into his seat, Killian pulled the door closed behind him and answered to find Graham on the other end of the line. Too relieved to turn his energy to something - anything - else but the argument he had left behind, Killian didn’t dwell long on why Graham sounded out of breath, cagey, and awkward as he explained how he had planned to meet Emma at the end of the work day, take her to dinner, and then go with her out to the cabin and help her make sure she at least had enough unpacking done to settle in there for the night. It turned out something had come up, and would Killian mind going to meet Emma instead?

While a part of him wasn’t at all sure how fond Emma would be of the development, he couldn’t deny the way his insides leapt at the opportunity to see Emma Swan again and spend some more time with her. Especially if it kept him away from the lit powder keg his home had just become.

“Not sure how Emma’s going to feel about that,” Killian quipped to his buddy lightly, “but I’ll do it. I’m heading her way right now.”

Graham’s relieved thanks made Killian smile as they said goodbye, wondering vaguely what had his friend all tangled up in knots, but he couldn’t dwell on it long. What almost felt like happy anticipation was creeping up on him, and whatever else might be pressing on him, Killian was simply glad to have an excuse to be near Emma Swan.

*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*

Some three hours later, Killian’s arms and back ached from lifting heavy boxes and moving them around to various counters and display tables for unpacking, his cheeks ached from grinning and laughing like he hadn’t done in ages, and he knew his eyes must look a bit dazed, mesmerized in Emma’s presence as she breathed some sort of magic into the air around her and onto him, bringing the previously empty and nondescript space to life. She didn’t seem to keep much of the warmth and humor for herself, however, Killian noted painfully, but it was easily felt standing next to her, and his fingers itched to grasp her, to pull her in and hold her tight, give back to her some of the warmth he had felt since he’d walked into her new little shop - particularly welcome after the chill of his encounters with his own family just before he’d arrived.

Thankfully, Emma hadn’t seemed averse to his visit and offer of help, to be followed by dinner in his friend’s stead. She was possibly a little hesitant and uncertain of why he wanted to help out and spend time with her, but it did his conscience good to see that she seemed willing to at least see how the evening went.

After the initial bit of awkwardness upon his arrival, Killian had assured Emma that she should put him to work. Once she had done so, they’d had their hands full and the conversation had begun to flow between them. She was incredibly knowledgeable - not that Killian was surprised, she had always been smart and eager to learn, one of many things she and Rose had shared in common - but he’d never been able to hear her really speak unabashedly about something she loved. Not only did she have an engaging and eclectic collection of art and photography by several known artists, but she also had numerous pieces of her own photography available for purchase as well. When Emma began talking about how she had captured some of the shots, and what she hoped they conveyed, Killian simply couldn’t look away from her features that had come to life with enthusiasm, her eyes alight. It was enchanting; he could think of no other word for it. His lips curved upward irresistibly, without his really even noticing it until she paused, cocking her head curiously before asking, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Startling from the reverie he’d slipped into on the rise and fall of her words, Killian smiled back at her, shaking his head slowly in amazement. “Just marveling at you, honestly. You’re brilliant, Emma.”

“Hardly,” she retorted, making a dismissive noise and waving off his praise, though the pleased blush on her cheeks unmistakably belied her words.

“No, truly… You’ve got a real gift.”

Emma shrugged noncommittally, but didn’t argue with him further, instead she merely studied the photograph on the countertop in front of her, matted but still in need of framing. A wry, wistful tone slipped into her voice as she spoke then, more quietly than she had before, “Well, that’s at least one instance when my added sight is a pleasant benefit.”

Killian’s eyes widened, his attention even more fully captured than it had been, curious as to what she might say next. Emma rarely - if ever - offered to comment on her visions and the things she knew because of them voluntarily. He bit his lip to keep from speaking, from verbally nudging her to continue. Instead he watched, waiting hopefully, breath held, for her to do so if she chose.

Looking up, Emma caught his eyes, but the soul-searching expression pierced right through his chest. “It’s as if the person or animal or place in front of the camera tells me the story it wants to share.” Shaking her head helplessly after that admission, she chuckled at herself before adding, “Yeah, I know that sounds completely crazy.”

“Not at all, Swan,” he breathes, the nickname sliding from his lips naturally and without thought, neither of them reacting to it - almost as if he had never called her anything else. “It’s just like I said… amazing.”

For several minutes, no more words were spoken, the quiet stretching comfortably between them as the shadows of evening lengthened outside the big front window. It was nearly seven-thirty, well past time for dinner, and they both laughed when his stomach rumbled loudly, breaking the spell between them. “What say you, Swan? Time to find some sustenance?”

Eyes glimmering with a mysterious sort of humor, she hedged, “Would you be willing to take a rain check? It’s been a packed couple of days, and I’m hoping to open in a couple more. I’m exhausted, and really just need to make it an early night.”

Considering her words for a moment, Killian studied her before acquiescing, hoping she wasn’t putting him off when it felt like they’d gotten so much closer over the course of the evening. “Fair enough,” he assented before playfully adding, “but I’ll hold you to that rain check. Unless you’re afraid of finding me even more irresistible after a few libations.” He waggled his heavy dark brows at her devilishly until Emma was laughing out loud at his antics.

Only a few minutes later they were ready to go, Emma locking the door of her shop behind them and Killian following her gallantly to her VW. Turning to look up at him where they stood facing each other on the sidewalk, Emma added, “I really would be glad to go to dinner another time, Killian. It’s been a nice evening, and - to be blunt - I could use a few friends. Just so we’re clear that’s all it is.”

Killian felt a tightening in his chest at her proclamation, disappointment clenching in his gut and alerting him that he had already allowed himself to want so much more. “You’ve already decided that, have you?” he responded, fighting to keep his voice light.

She held his gaze, expression mournful, knowing, and more than a little haunted. “It’s for the best really. Trust me on that. You don’t want to get too close to me. Eventually, I’m too much for anyone to deal with. It gets messy. I’m just sparing us both a lot of hurt in the long run.”

He hummed low in his throat, the deep vibration of the sound almost physically palpable to her as he leaned closer, gauging her reaction with a knowing glimmer in his eye. “You say that now, Swan. And that’s fine, I can be incredibly patient. But I see that there could be so much more between us.”

“Do you indeed?” she queried in an equally teasing measure, his response allowing her to drop the wary seriousness she had spoken with before and banter back with him in return, almost irresistibly.

“Have a gander for yourself if you doubt me,” he offered, holding her gaze, an open expression seeming to lay himself bare before her. “I am an open book to you… just as you are to me.”

Emma caught her breath, helpless but to stare back into his eyes as he asked. Guard down, walls lowered, there was a flash behind her eyes of bare limbs moving in unison, heavy pants of exertion, whispered endearments in a familiar timbre, and a shattered cry of completion in a voice sounding much like her own.

Blinking free and pulling away with a gasp, she knew what she’d seen, and flushed from the roots of her hair outward. “What was that?” she whispered, almost to herself, even as she knew exactly what she had witnessed. Never had she experienced such a glimpse of something so pleasurable it left her quivering with unquenched need.

“I think you know,” Killian replied with a roguish smirk, though his voice was gentle, almost hiding the slight hurt that swam in the crystal blue of his eyes at the distance she still tried to keep between them. “Possibly the dessert we could enjoy if you let a nice dinner for us progress to its natural conclusion?”

Nodding, she regained her equilibrium at last and reached out to pat him on the shoulder with a sort of playful camaraderie. “Hmm… well, maybe you’d better keep those thoughts to yourself for now,” she taunted. Still, as she settled into the driver’s seat and waved to him while backing away from the curb and pulling onto the street, Killian could see a deep and fragile longing behind her practical nonchalance. She wanted, just as he did; that closeness and heat and belonging, but she wouldn’t allow it for herself. She didn’t trust that anything good could last - and why would she, after all that she had survived already? Possibly she had waited so long to be loved, to feel wanted, that when it was placed before her, she denied what was being offered. While that might have worked for most, he wasn’t going to stay at a careful distance. Not when he could see the loneliness and yearning in her, as clearly as he could see it in his own mirror each morning. He would keep coming back, closer and closer each time, until maybe they could both find what they had been living without for so long.

Tagging: @cssns @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @searchingwardrobes @laschatzi @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jrob64 @apiratewhopines @stahlop @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @bluewildcatfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @eastwesthomeisbest @xarandomdreamx @sotangledupinit @justanother-unluckysoul @booksteaandtoomuchtv @kazoosandfannypacks @anmylica @motherkatereloyshipper @jonesfandomfanatic @elizabeethan @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @xsajx @lfh1226-linda @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @darkcolinodonorgasm @resident-of-storybrooke @drowned-dreamer @optomisticgirl @tiganasummertree @spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @gingerchangeling @gingerpolyglot @blackwidownat2814 @blowmiakisscolin @let-it-raines @bdevereaux @caught-in-the-filter

#cssns23 #cs au mc #cs ff #carolina moon #chapter two

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michelletsw · 2 years

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Hey I saw that you don't write anything and I wanted to ask (again) if you could write general platonic with dorm members who treat f!yuu like younger sister when RSA wants to take her with them? You write really great and I would want to read more from you😍

How fun love this idea! Sorry this took so long to get out lol, takes place during vdc but where going to over look vils overblot for the story line 😅 also I might have made savanaclaw a little shipy with esme and y/n (sorry I love him lmao)

I'm gonna go ahead and make this 2 parts sorry about that

Platonic/siblings like writings

Fem reader with protective characters that treat reader like a younger sister

Warnings ⚠️ cursing, not proof read

Character’s: Heartslabyel, octavinelle, scarabia, savanaclaw (pt2. pomefiore, ignihyde, diasomnia, wip)

During vdc the rsa students seemed to take a liking to you so much so they started asking you questions about why your going to nrc? "Your such a nice and caring person why are you going to nrc?" Or they'd ask if you want to go to rsa instead they'd be more then happy to talk to there headmage about it. Everytime you always politely turn them down, but they keep pushing the question And it started to get annoying.

Heartslabyel

Riddle- r

Ace- r

Deuce- b

Trey- g

Carter- o

Che'nya- p

Reader- p

You where walking over to the tea garden for another tea party, when you open the gate che'nya pops up and almost gives you a heart attack, You continue walking and ask why he's here? "Am I not aloud to just pop by and say hi?" He says, jokingly you respond with " you are but it's you so I know that's not why your here" "your words wound me y/n" while you two where talking you ended up making it to the main area with out noticing. That's when che'nya asks you the same question he asked earlier that day "so what are your thoughts on coming to rsa instead?" "excuse you?" Riddle interups before you can say anything ace and deuce are right next to you in less then a second draging you away from che'nya and over to the table "y/n is perfectly fine right here in nrc with us there not going anywhere" ace says glaring at che'nya. "Ya y/n you can't leave your my selfie buddy, plus who am i ganna gossip with if you leave" as cater says that you sit down and deuce pushes your chair in while trey offers you a cup of tea. "If y/n wishes to go to rsa instead that's not our place to stop them, though I would love if you'd stay" "I agree with trey-senpi even if it would be sad if you left" deuce added but it was quite obvious he wanted to take aces side. "what even brought this question up to begin with, y/n are you wanting to leave nrc?" Again you couldn't get a word out before being interrupted "me and the rest of the students agree that it would be better from y/n at rsa, wouldn't it? It would be alot less stressful" "That may be true but if she doesn't want to leave you can't make her" "but I don't wanna leave" you say finally being able to talk over everyone. "Well then you heard the lady now leave us be" ace immediately says after your statement che'nya accepts his failure and goes to leave but not with out stealing some sweets and saying good bye first. After that event they all seem to have gotten a little more protective over you till all the rsa students leave after vdc.

Octavinelle

Azul- b

Floyd- p

Jade- g

Y/n- p

prince rielle- r

It's a very well known fact that the "fish mafia" trio looked at you as there little sister considering there attitudes towards you and the way you where treated. So it wasn't much of a surprise how they acted when they over heard a conversation you had with rielle, "actually that's a question I've been meaning to ask, why are you going to nrc y/n?" "Well I mean I was basically summoned by the mirror, so I guess I've never thought about leaving the school to go to a different one" "well would you want to join us at rsa? It'll alot nicer then here" the trio had been standing behind the corner just listening but that last sentence made floyd speak up "Huh~ shrimpys not leaving anywhere royal goldfishy" "I agree there perfectly fine staying here at nrc, why would you even recommend such a thing?" They say placing there hands on your shoulders. "Indeed why would you recommend something like that prince rielle, Perhaps to gain something?" "Oh! Azul, no of course not I'm just curious on there opinion on going to rsa" "shrimpys not going anywhere" floyd says now just completely laying his body weight on your shoulders with his chin rested on you head "it is up to y/n if they want to leave or not floyd" "that's dumb, your not leaving right shrimpy" floyd now whining and pinching your face " ow stop that floyd and no i dont plan on leaving nrc, thank you for the offer tho" "well then it's settled, we should get going or else will be late" you say your goodbyes to rielle and leave with the trio. Till vdc was over they definitely had you nearby at almost all times afraid one of the other rsa students would try and convince you to leave again, insert floyd being an obnoxious little shit the whole time.

Scarabia

Kalim- o

Jamil- r

Jaseem- b

Reader-p

Kalim and jamil where waking around trying to find you before vdc started, they round a corner and see you talking to jaseem. Before kalim could yell to you jamil put a hand towards his face telling him to wait a second, he wanted to know what jaseem wanted with you. "have you thought about going to rsa with us" kailm spoke up before you could answer "wait y/n your wanting to leave nrc!?" "Kailm calm down" "Oh hello, don't you think it would be better for y/n at rsa? It would be alot less stressful and they would get an actual dorm" "lowkey does sound kinda nice.." "your actually considering leaving Ó╭╮Ò" "it's there choice kailm" though he doesn't sound that worried about you leaving his face says other wise. jamil is good at hiding his emotions but he clearly looks upset from even the thought of you leaving, kailm is also clearly upset from this idea looking at you like a puppy that just got something token away. Jaseem breaks your thoughts " do you want to come to rsa y/n?" "Thank you for the offer but I'll have to decline I'm sorry" "I see thats quite alright" "great. Now that's over we need to get going before where late" With that you say goodbye to jaseem and walk to the vdc stage. Kailm was obviously more clingy till vdc was over and jamil just seemed to be a little more protective over you just in general afraid someone would want to convince you to leave nrc again.

Savanaclaw

Leona- r

Ruggie- o

Jack- b

Y/n- p

Esme- p

It's not even a question. The fact that they grew up with woman having higher power and deserve 100% respect it is very obvious that they see you as a little sister and if im being honest sometimes it would feel like your friends with complete assholes and others they look like there about to fight God for you. It's very confusing anyway back to the topic at hand. It was right after there vdc performance when esme came up to you and started a conversation the boys not really paying much attention but still listening, it's only when they hear the words "so did you think about coming to rsa?" Come out of esme's mouth do they 100% start paying attention. Ruggie pops up out from nowhere draping his arm on your shoulder like your a stand or something for him to lean on "what was that about rsa" "GrEaT 7!! where tf did you come from!?" "I was talking to y/n about switching to rsa" "why would you ask such a dumb question?" "Are you wanting to leave nrc y/n?" "Not necessarily?" "Oh so you are still thinking about it?" "Why would you want to go to rsa" (insert esme trying not to say "well they would win something for once" because if he did, he knows he might lose his life/j) "it's just an idea" "it's a stupid idea" "are you sure that's something you really wanna do?" Jack stop ✋️ i can't handle your sad face. "Again it is just a suggestion if you need more time to think on it you can just message me" "message you???" Ignoring ruggie "will do but I can't promise I'll say yes" then a little goat walks up to you both and starts to lightly headbutt esmes leg "haha it's quite alright, I better get going" he picks up the goat and you say your good byes...... "you gave him your number??"

Protective bastards I swear lmao. Definitely alot more protective Definitely insert ruggie being a rat bastard by making you help him with leona for like a few weeks or else he won't stop bothering you about the whole rsa thing. Jack just being sad that you even thought about wanting to leave.

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https-heizou · 9 months

Text

case files: leila. [info sheet]

name: leila

age: 22

pronouns: she/her

species: human

vision/weapon: geo catalyst

job: dancer at the zubayr theatre

love interest: n/a

home country: sumeru

known relatives: nilou (sister)

known nicknames: nilou often calls her 'lele' and leila in return calls her 'nini'

claimed emoji: 💎

lore. leila is the twin sister of nilou, a renown dancer of the zubayr theatre. leila is also a dancer alongside her sister and they often do performances together. leila is a close friend of kaveh however she doesn't have many other friends.

leila did attend at the akademiya and graduated from the rtawahist darshan, specialising in astronomy and the stars. this is reflected in her attack styles. she however went straight back to dancing with her sister.

whilst nilou is a talkative young lady, leila is much quieter and will keep her head in astronomy books. both sisters are prone to helping out everyone they can however leila is less likely to be the one that the people around zubayr theatre will go to.

further lore is wip.

notable songs from her playlist. run - onerepublic. scars to your beautiful (acoustic version) - alex g. habibi (albanian remix) - ricky rich.

voicelines.

hello: "my apologies, i didn't hear you approach - i've been reading this book on stellar structure all morning. i'm leila from the zubayr theatre. for today's performance schedule, please speak to my sister."

chat: darkness: "people live in fear for most of their sorrowful lives. how will the stardust in us shine, if we keep fearing the darkness our whole lives?"

chat: nap: "nilou isn't around, is she? can you watch my back while i take a quick nap?"

chat: performances: "sometimes my sister and i perform late at night. it's more time friendly for our spectators but i wish i could spend those moments under the stars."

when it rains: "it's raining... we best lay low until the rain stops. it's impossible to use the stars to navigate in this weather."

when thunder strikes: "is this necessary? can't we hide indoors until the storm passes? what? me... scared? of course not! let's keep moving."

when it snows: "snowflakes are like the stars, they are all unique and not one is the same. in a way, settled snow is like a frozen cosmos within our reach."

when the sun is out: "this weather is perfect for performing but... it gets me all sweaty so quick. if only i could take a nap instead."

when the wind is blowing: "make sure you don't lose your balance! here, hold onto me."

good morning: "good morning. i didn't expect to see you here this early. hm? oh, i like to watch the sunrise before my daily perfomances. you should join me next time."

good afternoon: "it's lunch already? collei stopped by this morning with her homemade pita pockets, have you tried one before?"

good evening: "nilou and i are about to perform, are you staying to watch?"

good night: "my sister says it's good to let your frustrations out before you sleep so remember that the stars will always listen to your troubles should you speak to them."

about leila: sweet tooth: "i can never say no to sugary foods. it's awful, really. i need to eat healthy for my work."

about leila: astral performance: "the akademiya long shunned the performing arts before lesser lord kusanali's release so i made a habit of going out to the avidya forest to dance. there's no one to judge you, just you and the stars. to perform to them is the highest honour."

about us: travelling: "you've travelled all over teyvat, right? im so jealous... can i perhaps join next time? i'll have to request a month's leave from the theatre but i'd like to witness the stars from the highest peaks of liyue - you know someone who knows good locations? even better!"

about us: constellations: "i'd like to teach you some of the constellations. hm? well the stars are a great source of navigation on your travels, you can always count on them to get your bearings. i'd hate for you to get lost before you get to see one of my shows."

about the vision: "i got my vision during my first performance under the stars. i vowed that night that i would dedicate my life to performing with my sister. i'd been so lost on the path of my life before then. i like to think the geo archon listened to me."

something to share: "it's important that we endure the tough moments in life that come from hard work. if we don't, we fail to see our potential shine in our accomplishments."

interesting things: aranara: "have i ever heard of the aranara? oh... so you can see them too? theyre quite fond of my performances. hm? how can i see them? that's a secret."

interesting things: mourning flowers: "mourning flowers hold such a dark beauty. they bloom where battles have been fought and blood has been shed. it just shows even the most beautiful things hide secrets."

about nilou: favours: "nilou and i are always the first ones the zubayr theatre come to when they have a problem. we don't mind but my sister has a tendency to never know how to say no... i wish she could stand up for herself instead of overworking herself."

about nilou: flower crowns: "when we were children, nilou and i would always venture out of the city to sit on the grass and make flower crowns. she was always much better at it than i was."

about kaveh: "kaveh is a little dramatic sometimes. when we were students, i'd often walk quicker to act like i wasn't with him when he would rant loudly. you know, it's embarrassing to study in the house of daena when he's angry at his roommate."

#https-heizou #the case files #the detective’s office

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kyogre-blue · 2 years

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Ooh someone put to words why I felt that Liyue's archon quest really dropped the ball after Mondstadt's, thank you! My sister was appalled when I thought Kequing was the same person as Ganyu when she appeared for the first time haha, I went "oh purple-haired messenger lady" and didn't realize they were different people until I met Ganyu again for the glaze lillies and realized the dissonance in her values vs Kequing's lol

But about Mondstadt's archon quest—my perspective was colored by the fact that I read all the Mondstadt books before finishing it, but still—iirc doesn't Venti explicitly tell us that Dvalin *isn't* mad about the temples or the lack of worship, but that when he came back to Mondstadt he was met with rejection because people didn't recognize him? Just how much he sacrificed defending them from Durin must have twisted the knife even deeper... This draws parallels to the time he first descended to the world and he couldn't understand people and the people didn't understand him so they reacted with violence and anger, until he finally met Barbatos who saw him for his beauty instead (breeze amidst the forest vol. 1). And well, the time in the archon quest isn't the first time that Stormterror had attacked—he and the knights have clashed multiple times and animosity grew (breeze amidst the forest vol. 2 citation) to the point that revealing that he's the East Wind NOW would be dropping a political hot potato and put the Knights of Favonius in a lose-lose between killing one of their gods or looking like their people's safety didn't matter to them.

Plus, Venti specifically stating that Dvalin doesn't have to listen to him made perfect sense to me because, in the past, Venti DID command Dvalin - in battle against Durin, 500 years ago. The fallout of which has obviously caused Dvalin an unimaginable amount of pain and is basically why Dvalin and by extension Mond were in such dire straits in the present. Venti must have felt so guilty... that reminds me, they actually made this point a lot more explicit in the closed beta! The meaning is a lot clearer there than in the final version, imho - In the beta, as Venti is falling, still awake, Dvalin goes: "speak...summon me, command me, and thou shalt be saved—" but Venti instead smiles, relieved. "You have finally returned, Dvalin" and blacks out. When he wakes up on Dvalin's back, Venti tells Dvalin "I never summoned you because I never wanted to order you again." the AGAIN is key here, I believe.

You're right that 'freedom when commanded by an Archon is really not freedom at all' came a little out of left field though. The context probably was about how Venti commanding Dvalin to save him would mean nothing, while Dvalin Choosing to save everyone, by himself, despite everything, means a whole lot. And maybe about how Dvalin willingly tying himself back to Mond isn't what Venti wishes for him, but it's not his place to tell Dvalin what causes are worth committing himself to? Maybe? I'll have to think a bit more on that, bc Venti does seem to support people committing to service as long as it makes them happy. Hm.

Sorry if this is incoherent and hard to read rip I typed it in my phone and I can't see the whole ask at once in my tiny screen lmfao. Also I was surfing posts about the Genshin storyline and saw yours, which I was nodding along with, then I went to your tumblr and realised "Wait, that's the author of those amazing khr fics I read ages ago!!!!!" So I Kinda Got Overexcited fjkjdh

Mmmm I vaguely recall that Venti might have said that, but again, it isn't conveyed properly, which defeats the entire point.

One off-hand mention isn't enough for the motivations at the core of your storyline's central character. We needed something more like Jean sitting us down and explaining painfully how Dvalin showed up out of the blue one day, how the people panicked, how no one realized who he was until it was too, etc. This should be at least three sentences with sad music in the background, is what I'm saying. Like, an actual scene of this. This is what I mean when I say Mond feels like it's missing half of its scenes, to help transition between what we did get.

Similarly, I don't count the books toward the actual storyline. Very few people read those. I only read them on the wiki, not even in the game. The game doesn't even think you're reading them, since Liyue Act 4 literally told us nothing that wasn't already in the books, because they knew most players don't know this stuff and had to be caught up on all that. Beta content is obviously even less countable, since it's just straight up not canon anymore, since they chose to cut it.

(The beta stuff is interesting though! Wonder why they'd cut something so meaningful.)

In general, Mond and especially Liyue suffer from a ton of the setting and situation being just... vague.

We're not explicitly told what the actual conflict between the Qixing and the adepti is. We're not told what the adepti actually plan to do. We're not told what the Qixing are even doing behind the scenes. It's all discussed in total generalities, when the specifics would have massive implications for all the characters involved. In Mond, it's somewhat less noticeable because, at the end of the day, Dvalin is not being rational or acting as he normally would, so the situational details aren't too important. But in Liyue, the situation IS the plot, so.... yeah.

As much as I hate it, I will say that the new writers are better at convey this stuff, for whatever reason. I just finished Inazuma act 1 again, and it's noticeable how much they walk you through the situation in Inazuma, compared to Liyue's vagueness.

(Not to say that it's all good or even enjoyable, the Ritou errands were just annoying and the NPCs are a cancer, plus the emotional and character writing is a mess, especially in the other acts. Hilariously, it even comes back to bite them later because they try to sweep under the rug the situation they set up so painstakingly.)

I feel like those KHR fics are my real legacy, and I'm happy with that. Those were good days, hehe.

#playing genshin

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jodilin65 · 32 years

Text

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1992 I am now with my nieces at my sister’s house. Becky really wanted to see me write in my journal. So, that is exactly what I’m doing.

Lisa helped me with Sarah and showed me how to prepare her bottle. Then, we changed her diaper and put her down for her nap. I am doing my laundry. In another half an hour I will go downstairs and check it.

Becky brushed my hair. She did a good job.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 1992 I am listening to some of the edits now but soon I’m gonna go to sleep.

Earlier Fran called me with Andy on his 3-way. Fran called Andy first cuz Andy can’t call long-distance either. A new policy just went into effect as too many people are stiffing the phone co. He has to have his long-distance blocks on for a year as he’s a new customer and he put down a $175 deposit. That really sucks. He has a letter he’s working on for me. He already has 11 pages done and he read me the first page. He also wrote a song for me which was nice and he’s working on my tapes. While he’s making my tapes, he’s also gonna tape Rick and Nervous for Fran. Fran’s been wanting that for quite a while now. Andy also said he taped Gloria’s concert from the Disney channel, but I told him Tammy beat him to it. Lastly, he wants more bracelets and to remember the beach this August.

Oh, I’ve been thinking about that beach, alright. That’s for damn sure. All I’ve been dying to do is wear summer clothes, go to the beach, go swimming and get a tan.

I hope Jessie and Cassandra come see me. I really really miss Cassandra and I thank God in a way that she’s out of my life. I never wrote about it but I am glad I didn’t know her too long. I think I was developing a little too much liking for her. Of course, I never had the guts to tell her even though knowing her, she’d be flattered. That lady really believed in me and truly admired me and told me many times I was pretty. Who knows what was really going through her mind? I used to wonder and I still do. She knew, though, where my feelings stand as far as relationships go and also that I’d be moving.

Kim, I doubt I’ll ever see, but that’s ok.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1992 I am scared to go to bed. Well, not scared of going to bed, scared of waking up. Every morning I’ve been waking up wheezing like hell and I also think my lungs are bleeding. When I cough up it tastes like blood and I’ve never had that before. Yellow and green and brownish color is supposed to mean an infection. They just gave me another round of antibiotics and the same old shit’s right back again as usual. Same thing with down below. I think some people are immune to antibiotics and also some people’s infections are permanent. It sure has gone on now for 3 years and gets worse each year.

Since I’m so young and so trapped and not one of the very lucky and very few who can quit smoking for good, I wish I’d die. I hate feeling like this and how it’s blocking me from singing without coughing. Even though I’m sure at this day and age I’d never be a singer anyway. I wish they’d just say, “Hey, don’t worry about quitting, which you can’t do, or suffering anymore. You’re gonna die soon of lung cancer or emphysema anyway.”

Later…

I woke up feeling pretty good, thank God.

What’s taking Andy so long to call me back? Maybe he’s mad at me, but it’s not my fault I’ve been busy and moved earlier than we thought. Fran hasn’t called back yet, but that’s easy to understand. He lost my number. I’m not gonna call him 3 or 4 times till he gets it straight. I hope Bob, Kim and Jessie call soon, too. I miss Cassandra and I hope everything’s ok with her.

Next Friday I have an appointment with an asthma doctor on March 4th I’ll see a new therapist named Barbara G. I hate having to start all over again and wonder if she’s good, bad, fat, ugly, pretty or skinny? What matters is her ability to understand me without putting words in my mouth and misjudging me. From the sound of her name, I imagine an older, gray-haired lady. Oh well, that part doesn’t matter even though you’re naturally curious to see the face of the person you’re gonna spill your life story out to.

I can’t believe no one’s knocked on my door yet. If they do, I’m not answering unless they call first.

I’d like to maybe start looking for a good time but now I have two more reasons to hesitate. One is that I don’t have a real bed set up. Two is that my living in a dump is all the more reason to attract losers. I’d have to get ahold of the personals like an Advocate or something. As far as calling a number I got from the CC, I don’t know. My biggest concern, naturally, is sorting through the many butches with the hope of finding an ultra-feminine woman who’s attractive. And mutually attractive to me too, of course, cuz I’m so feminine. It’s one thing to meet someone and talk to them that you know is only gonna be a friend. I can handle that. It’s talking to a potential sex partner that gets tricky. I’m always so on guard and self-conscious. Especially if God forbid she is pretty. I’m always wary of what to say or do and question the things I’ve already done and said. This is my one and only case where I’m so shy rather than just unsure, skeptical and in doubt of someone. Where do I begin? What do I do? Do I just do what I’ve done in the past?

Someone’s fucking knocking on my door! It was Jennifer and I told her I was busy, and from now on I’m not answering my fucking door. I really like her and the other kids, but they’re getting on my nerves. How many times will it take for them to get it? To call me first? 50 more times? I’d rather have my train of thought rudely interrupted by the phone.

As far as going about meeting women, I think I’ll just sit on it for a while. I’d want what I’ve always fantasized about. A gorgeous cop. But not with the way they can abuse the law if they have a beef with you. They use their badge as a weapon to enforce their personal lives to meet their approval. Or the lives of others, if they want to. They can make it better or worse depending on who and what you are. I wouldn’t trust her even though I highly doubt I’d have to think about it or worry about it. As if I’d ever really meet a gorgeous female cop and get her in bed? Yeah, right. Dream on, even though dreaming sure is a hell of a lot of fun. You know me, I’d rather dream before I ever settle. Dreaming’s no crime and I sure as hell don’t feel guilty about it. I can tell fantasy from reality, whether I like it or not.

Later…

I sang 3 songs which were better than any other times I’ve sung since I moved. However, I’m still pretty congested and my chest feels tight and heavy. I’m being very careful and trying to discipline myself with the smokes. I’d like to wake up alive tomorrow too, and not half dead. I’ve upped my meds a little which Dr. Leitch advised me to do a while back. The Theodur makes you wicked spastic, though, and I’m plenty energetic enough.

I let Shadow run around outside again today. He gets to be a real pain in the ass and I can’t trust him. When I want to write, listen to music or watch TV, I don’t want to have to keep jumping up to be sure he’s not destroying anything. When I leash him down, he conveniently thrashes his leash around which is metal and tangles himself up. I want to get him a rope leash which is quiet and hard to tangle as it’s slippery. Then he can trash his litter box which is already one big toy and a way to make a mess. Never have I ever heard of a cat who gets off on me cleaning up after him and hitting him. I hit him and he comes back for more, stands still, lets me do it, has a grin on his face, then gets all lovey-dovey. You’d think that any cat who’s really afraid would behave better and cats aren’t stupid either.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 1992 I called and scheduled an appointment with an asthma doctor and a therapist. I got my check in the mail from Peter and I’m gonna cash that tomorrow as well as stop at the office for a copy of my lease and to show her Shadow’s papers. I need to show Mary Jane that Shadow’s been neutered and vaccinated. They say you can only have 1 small dog or cat. It can’t exceed 25 pounds or 12” in height. Shadow’s shorter than 12”. His head’s a little over that but I’ll have to ask Mary Jane about his tail. I was cracking up thinking, what about his tail. Is that ok? Cuz his tail is definitely above 12” when he stands it straight up.

Both the electric and phone companies are at Thames Plaza. Maybe I can get that taken care of tomorrow. I’ll reschedule the cable now that I’ve got Peter’s check for $131.25.

I gave Bob a call and he said he’ll call me when he can afford it. He has a high phone bill.

When I looked in my teddy bear phonebook to write new numbers in I said, “Holy shit!” I knew I’d written in Andy’s new apartment number but had totally forgotten he did give me his new phone number. With all that’s been going on, I’d forgotten all about it and figured he wasn’t moving yet. I normally would never forget something like that.

Also, I called Kim and left her a message. I told her now I got this dump fixed up but there’s a problem. Every time I look out my window I see cactuses and palm trees. Why? Am I losing my mind? Then, I finished by telling Mark to say hi to Lisa S and to tell Laurie H it’d come in handy for her to know we could do some handy things together. Also, Gloria and Linda say hi. Hahahahaha!

I’ve written letters to Fran, Nervous, Kim and Bob, and to Andy and Cassandra. Perhaps, I can write to Kacey, Hank, Mattie, Jenny, and Maliheh again someday. They’d love that. Maliheh’s sure to have gotten her letter by now.

I’m pretty tired now and am gonna hit the sack. God, do I ever hope I do not wake up wheezing! It’s been worse since I moved here. I should take my breathalyzer one more time to be sure.

Later…

Today I learned a few more things. Yesterday Layne and her friend showed me the path to Price Rite. As Tammy had said, the bank is right across the street. I deposited most of Peter’s check.

The girls and I browsed through TJ Max which is a clothing store. It’s ok and lots of the stuff was on sale. I have seen on TV, magazines and other people thousands of outfits I’d kill for. I can’t wait till I can go shopping after I buy a washer and dryer. I bought a really pretty barrette with gold stars hanging off and a maroon scrunchy ponytail holder with black string fringes around it. Also, 4 packs of smokes with 2 free lighters and a bag of bite-size Milky Way bars.

I stopped at the office on the way back. The girls showed me how to get to it by circling around. It was a long walk, but fun. Mary Jane was busy so another girl photocopied Shadow’s papers, had me sign a form and they also want a picture of him for their files. That’s stupid but I guess it’s to see the animal’s size.

Upon reaching the office, the girls continued back. I walked back afterward, and the mailman was there with my CDs from Columbia House. I was so psyched!

I danced for an hour and a half and then vacuumed, changed Shadow’s box, and my bed. My cushion chair, I should say.

Someone just knocked on my door which I did not answer. I told these kids 10,000 times to call me first. Layne and Jenny were here earlier and Tammy was too sick to drop by today. Tammy was gonna pick me up so I could do my laundry and Bill was gonna bring me home. He hasn’t seen the place all fixed up. I guess Saturday or Sunday I’ll be at their house. Also, they need me to babysit.

I still have zillions of dishes, pots, glasses, mugs and silverware to wash. I will do that shortly and take a nice long, hot, relaxing bath. I’ll also watch more videos and write more letters.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1992 Before I left Massachusetts, I got a letter from Andy. Apparently, he wrote it at work with some friend who also works there. She also wrote a page.

I think today’s Andy’s birthday. He’s 30 years old if it is.

Later…

Again I woke up with a slight attack. Therefore, I’m nervous about even going to bed. But I’ve got to, don’t I? I must keep on schedule, which is, of course, easy to do cuz of next door. I’ve only slept till noon or 1:00 twice since I’ve been here and I’ve been here for 10 days now.

This Thursday I’ll be babysitting for the girls all day. Tomorrow, I’ve got to call to cancel the cable till I make sure I get and cash Peter’s check. I must also call for an asthma doctor, a dentist and a therapist. I must also call the electric company and go to Thames Plaza for my phone hook-up discount. Lastly, get my lease copied for Sheila.

At 10:30 this morning Tammy came over with the girls and we went to McDonald’s. After we went to Price Rite, she showed me around a bit, then dropped me off back here.

I spoke with Barbara and Jenny for a while. Barbara was sad due to her husband Dave’s mom dying. Barbara had already lost her mom and her brother when he was only 18. After that, Layne came over and she showed me a path in some woods that lead right to Price Rite. On our way back we swung on some swings out in the back of other projects a few buildings down. I also met Layne’s mom.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1992 Well, not too much has happened since I last wrote. The family next door continues to wake me up every fucking morning. So far, in a way, they’ve been doing me a favor by keeping me on schedule. However, if there was a night that I was up very late and wanted to sleep late - forget it. School or not, it’s a zoo over there as early as 7 AM.

Like I said, the place is fully decorated now but it’s such a dump. I’m just going to pretend I love it here as much as I can. For a girl who’s so open, honest and blunt, I’ve decided to not kiss ass and lie, but pretty much keep my mouth shut. With personal issues. Not all of them but mostly depending on what I feel my mother and sister could handle. Mom could care less, and Tammy - well - she’s partially a different story. It’s like she can and cannot handle shit. I mean heavy-duty shit or stuff she’s not into or knows so little about. She’s not stupid and she does care and understand somewhat, but she’s always been a billion times moodier and hysterical than me. And I can get quite bad at times. We both learn to deal with shit better as we grow older. Everyone does. But my moods are blown over and done with quickly. I’m able to somehow, as hard as it can be, find a way to laugh and cheer myself up. Tammy’s moods drag on and on forever and it’s always something new. The issues that have frustrated me in the past, and partially now, are only 3 or 4 issues. With her, it’s both old news and a new problem each time I see her. Although Tammy’s taken after Mom in several ways and she and I are complete opposites, there’s not a thing in the world I wouldn’t do for her if I could compared to that fucking control freak mother of ours. That little fucking bitch had the nerve to both tell me how I should and I do and I will feel about living here. How she should’ve put her foot down 3 years ago about me living here. I tell her how the timing was off, I needed to sit on it for a while for many other reasons other than Andy, I’m an adult who’ll make up her own fucking mind. When and if I’m ready to. Then, she tells me that’s what parents are for.

I asked, “To control me?”

She says, “Yes.”

I answered, “When someone’s under 18, that’s the time to do what you want them to do and not be supportive of their decisions.” Of course, I wasn’t in the mood to get into the Brattleboro Retreat and bring up other stuff.

When are these people gonna live their lives only? Stop telling people how to live, what to do, say, wear? Offering totally false, stupid, immature, ignorant, crude, unnecessary opinions? When are people gonna stop playing with my head? Stop contradicting me? Stop leading me on? Stop lying to me and misjudging me and calling me a liar? Let me be myself? LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?!?!?!?!?

It gets easier and easier to see myself dumping them one of these days. Soon, they’re gonna lose kid number two. And as we all know, I’m half on Larry’s side and the other half resents him, but it’s gonna be two gone, one more to go. They’re not worth it. They’re not my type and I can’t deal with people like that in my life anymore.

Well, enough of that shit and all that bitching. However, as I said before, here’s where I’ll do my bitching as well as the happy or so-so stuff. For Tammy, I’ll put on a happy face within reason as much as I can. The few issues I’ve been dealing with, she knows about. Like music and wanting more one-nighters with “real” women. Other than that, my asthma and the dive, all is usually well.

Earlier we all went to Friendly’s for ice cream. Tammy, Bill and the 3 girls, plus a friend of Lisa’s. Tammy was in a tense pissed-off mood. What it was all about, who knows? I couldn’t hear all that well over the girls and the crowd in the place.

Our waiter was a definite fem who reminded me of Andy. Andy, Tammy and I ate lunch in there a long time ago. In the “No Fags Allowed” section of Norwich (NFA). Bill said it stands for Norwich Free Academy. I knew that, but once I swore to Andy it was National Football Association. Andy insisted it was a police academy. So, in the end, we agreed to keep it as No Fags Allowed till we found out for sure.

I met Mary Jane when I walked into the office to sign the lease which is month to month and give her a check. The rent’s $139, not $138. Oh well. She’s pitifully ugly yet very nice. When she was going through stuff like the rent, power and dumpster, she pulls out the eviction policy and says, “We don’t have to worry about this.” I thought, gee thanks. How kind of you.

The shirt I wore to Friendly’s has long sleeves but doesn’t cover my whole forearm when I reach out. First I was hit with Bill asking what happened and I said, “You know what happened.”

He said, “No, I don’t know. How could I know?”

I said softly, “A few months ago. You know, as in setback.”

He said, “Oh.” And that was that.

Luckily Tammy was in the bathroom so she could be spared a fit or a heart attack. The second time I went to reach for the ashtray in the center of the table and every person at the table took a good long hard glance at it. Even though Cassandra said I’m not a bad person for doing it, and to learn from it, I’m angry at myself and trying my best to block it out. That stops me from being so angry about what I did. If I block it out, I mean. Most things I can face, express and discuss head-on. So you know if I’m that angry, it hurts. It really hurts and I hate myself for it. Otherwise, I’m basically happy with who, how and what I am.

Jessie, Kim, Bob and Cassandra are the only ones that have my new address and number. As I said, I’ve spoken to Jessie 3 times. Cassandra may call and I may call and write her a letter. She also says she may come to see me this summer. I know Jessie will be here soon, but I doubt I’ll ever see Kim or Bob again in my life. Yes, I will write to them. All they ever talk about is getting my crazy letters with all our lines. Maybe Bob will call me someday. He told Kim, “I miss that little shit.” Tonight I tried to call him collect but it wouldn’t go through. I did leave a message on Ann Marie’s machine. I hope to get another good time in the sack with her, but good luck to myself. Kim called me the day I moved in. I was cracking up when she told me Mark said he misses me. That I was honest, friendly and funny. I know he always liked me but many people have been slightly freaked out by my energy and uniqueness at first till they get to know me. Then when I’m gone, it’s so quiet and they miss me.

Funny thing is, though, when I moved, I told myself I’d dump everyone. Even considered Andy. But then I said why do that? Especially when he’s so far away and we don’t have to deal with each other on a regular basis? Now, I don’t know what I’ll do but Fran and Nervous are old news. That is for sure. I do miss shooting the shit with Fran though. Maybe I can write to him and enclose my number in time. For now, I’ll leave him both mad and wondering. He knew I was planning a move here. I told Tammy to give Andy my number if he calls. When I got my new number, it was too late. He’d already changed his as he said he was going to. Then, when he tried to call me, I’d already split and no one knew it’d be so soon. Andy’s new phone is in his own name, but he’s not listed. What’s taking him so long to call Tammy for my number? Either he’s busy, not in the mood to be lectured by Tammy or Tammy lied about telling me she’d give him my number. But would she lie? We promised each other no bullshit and to say “no” rather than yes and bullshit one another. I can always write him a letter and find out whatever is going on.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1992 I am fully unpacked now. The place is decorated so it looks a little nicer. It is one major dive of a shoebox, though. It needed all the help it could get.

I met my neighbors next door, Barbara, Dave, and their 4 kids. They have a 4-bedroom which is quite bigger than mine. Even their kitchen and living room are much bigger.

My living room is smaller than the bathroom I had in S. Dfld. Stand in the center of the living room here, take just two steps, front, back, left and right and you’ll hit the wall. I have also met about 10 of the kids here who are nice. Barbara and Dave are nice, too. There’s this 9-year-old girl named Layne who’s been here every day along with other kids. She’s a very sweet kid and was a great help the day I moved in. She helped me finish decorating the walls last night. The funny thing about it is that these people came to me. I never initiated the first step to meeting them. They’re cool, however, I don’t want to keep meeting people. Especially those who live here so as to avoid any problems which may occur. As you know, I’ve learned some valuable lessons the hard way. I’ve no intention of causing any trouble but trouble very well may come to me that I haven’t asked for or deserve. I’m not going through that shit again if I can help it.

Tammy’s been a great help till I get my checks and the check Peter owes me. She bought me groceries and I’ll pay her back on March 1st. I also must get some shades and save for a washer and maybe a dryer.

The cable people will be here next Tuesday. The sucky thing about it is that you cannot even get regular TV without cable. Such as NBC, ABC and CBS as there’s no antenna on the roof. It’s at least an automatic $18 monthly if you want any TV at all. I got a new bank which is where Tammy’s account is. I signed up for Direct Deposit and have taken care of SS. All I must do now is go to the phone company for my hookup discount and the utility people, too.

I called the CC which is different from Springfield and Northampton. They’re both very small and there are two numbers. One for emergency services and another called Contact if you really want to talk and get shit off your chest. They’re both 24-hour services. The girl I spoke to gave me some referrals as far as places to go for therapy.

I’m far from ready to meet someone for a one-nighter now, but cuz the Ann Maries of this world are so few and far between, I must get started soon. By the time I ever meet a woman I’m attracted to who also is attracted to me (if I’m so lucky again), I’ll be ready. Especially if it is a year or so from now as it’s likely to take that long.

My nieces have been here a few times and I’ve enjoyed seeing them. All 3 of them spent a couple of hours here while Bill and Tammy went to her doctor. They had a nice time and Sarah never cried once. I gave Lisa my number and she and I spoke for quite a while on my second night here.

When they come here, they love for me to do their hair and put makeup on them. They also have a kick for “grown-up” shoes. My black high-heeled pumps fit Lisa perfectly. And Layne, too. They’re both almost my size.

Tammy also lent me several movies so I don’t even need any movie channel.

Tammy also said she was impressed with how well I did with the girls and with putting makeup on them. It was sort of funny as I’ve done that before.

The funniest thing she said was that she envied me. I laughed and said how I envy Gloria. Speaking of Gloria, I saw the tape they taped for me off the Disney channel. She looked hot and I’d kill for the clothes she wore. What taste she has which is exactly the same as mine!

Tammy also taped Law & Order and Reasonable Doubts. Marlee Matlin looked gorgeous as usual, too.

I am not using my waterbed here as there’s no room for it. I’m sleeping on my folding chair/bed cushion. It’s more comfortable than the couch as the couch tilts at an angle.

Mom and Dad called to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day, and Dad said I was always good at decorating and to have fun with that. Yeah, it’s been great fun, alright. I couldn’t put up a fraction of my picture collection if I wanted to cuz there’s so little space. I have a few pictures of Gloria in my bedroom. Most of my other stuff is up everywhere.

As for the clothesline out back, well, no way can I use it for the most part. Not in this area with kids all over and all kinds of people. Perhaps clothes I don’t care about all that much like T-shirts, jeans, sweatpants and sweatshirts. Dresses, skirts, halter tops and shorts I’d rather not as they are what I like best and I’d rather not take the chance of them being stolen. My underwear, no way! As I told Tammy, my underwear isn’t all that plain and simple. It’s just a wee bit on the sexy side. Sexy pieces of dental floss, Kacey and Brenda used to say.

Jessie called twice and I got my suits in the mail. That did get all screwed up with all the moving as I knew Jessie better. She’d never fuck me over like that. It was funny, though, when they arrived. Tammy was here when we heard them tossed inside the screen door. Tammy opens the inner door, pulls it up and says, “Gee, the mailman must’ve got his jollies for sure with this.” There was a little tear in the envelope and hanging out from it was one of the tops.

Jessie’s gonna drive down sometime soon. She’s still trying to find her real mother. She’s not certain she lives here in Norwich where the adoption agency is she was adopted from. She doesn’t even know her name. I told her I will help her if I can. If she gets a name, I’ll look it up and give her the information if it’s listed. She knows she has two older sisters and that one’s deaf.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 1992 Norwich…

I am here in the new place in Norwich, CT as of yesterday and I absolutely hate it! Other than having my rent be only $138 and some family close by, it absolutely sucks. The apartment is a complete dump and it’s half the size of the Oswego St. apartment. I always swore that apartment was almost the smallest and the worst I ever lived in. Even Oswego St. is heaven compared to this one. Not the neighborhood, although this one isn’t too much better. It’s a little seedy and the apartment is filthy. The floors and walls are ok but the place is caked with dirt. The windows, all the kitchen appliances, except for the refrigerator and stove. The tub is huge but there’s no shower so I have to wash my hair in my kitchen sink unless I do it while I’m in the tub. The bathroom was filthy too.

The worst part of it is all the neighbors. Tammy and I are gonna talk to Mary Jane tomorrow as I’ve never even known such noise could exist. They make more noise than I have in my whole life in only one hour. Mary Jane never told me part of the adjacent apartment was over mine. Also that the kids climb out their bedroom window onto the roof which is my living room ceiling. They run all around the outside by my place screaming, too. They bang, stomp and scream inside their place. I cannot even stay in my bedroom and hear myself think. It’s hard enough to do so here in my living room where I am now.

It is totally horrendous and I’ve got to get the fuck out!

Tammy says something can be done about it. Yeah, right. Like what? There are 4 kids over there. What are you gonna do? Chain them to a chair? There’s never even a 30-second period where I can’t hear a noise of some kind. When their phone rings, I think it’s mine. I can hear every word they say and I’m half deaf. I couldn’t even take a nap as I was so tired and still am. I’m not going to bed until midnight if this shit keeps up like it did till midnight last night.

I have very much more to write about but I will another time. I’m too tired, pissed, sad and I just want to throw my headphones on, keep them on and drown out the noise. Of course, I’ll still feel the vibrations of them dropping or moving shit as they do every other second.

THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1992 I had a great day today. First I called Chief B and either this Wednesday or Thursday I��ll see him, Carol and Harry about my tapes.

Tomorrow, I see Sheila, but I canceled tonight with Cassandra. Cassandra called me, luckily, as I left the message with her son at her house. We’re going to possibly meet Wednesday around noon, but she said, she’d leave a message on my machine verifying the exact date and time.

Bob picked me up at 10:00. From there we went to Greenfield where I bought Linda’s new CD all in Spanish. It’s called Mas Canciones and there are 12 songs. On the cover, she looks good.

I also got 2 new journals so now I have 27 of them.

After that, we picked up Sandra at their place in Turners Falls and went to Food Fart back in Greenfield. I spent $70 but not all on food. I got a plant, a plant hanger and these really cute things all for a buck each. Besides two new pens, I got all these magnet things. Three were of flowers with lace around the edges and a cheerful saying on them like, “home is where you hang the heart.” Each one has different colors and they’re cute. A wooden teddy bear magnet with a clothes clip attached to it. I clipped my calendar onto it. Two memo boards that are the cutest of all. They’re small. Only around 5x7 with the pen attached to it and when you write, you can erase it with a damp paper towel or napkin. They’re both two different teddy bear designs and are oh-so-adorable.

Bob gave me some planting soil and repotted the plant I got today. I cut little clippings off of both of them and stuck them in a glass of water. I have extra pots Bob gave me for when they root. I’m gonna make zillions of offspring from these originals. He also gave me a mug holder he made that holds six mugs and another wooden figurine.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1992 I spoke briefly to Bob and now I’m doing two loads of laundry.

Any minute, beginning tomorrow, I should have a definite moving date. They managed to get a couple of guys from the fire department to move me. Bill will be coming up with them unless he has to work. If he has to work, Tammy will come up.

Shadow’s being all lovey-dovey, of course, after doing a few things that really pissed me off.

Another thing that really irks me is TV. Are the writers on strike or something like that? Everything is all repeats and I thought they don’t rerun the shows till the summer. There have been very very few new shows. Unsolved Mysteries is always showing repeats and with all the crime in this world, you’d think they could come up with new shows.

I wish I could just pack up and get the hell out of here. I’m so goddamn bored and this place is a disaster. I just want to get it all packed and take the fuck off.

Later…

I just sang a few songs. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting here remembering and missing some of the old times. Some of the not-so-cool times now make me laugh. At least there was more excitement than I experienced living here, although I don’t prefer to relive certain experiences. Also, it’s not to say that I’ve had no excitement here of a bad nature because I certainly have!

Tomorrow morning I have to call Chief B. I have to see Sheila at 10:15 on Tuesday.

Besides fun memories of Andy and other people, I sure miss Nervous in certain ways. What a source of great entertainment he was being the sucker that he is. For a lot of people. Not just me. Even though Nervous was a sucker and had a number of things about him people resented, we all liked him nonetheless. Nervous and I have had many great talks and he’s done me many favors I really appreciated. Many things wouldn’t have been impossible, but very tough without his help. I miss his spying and playing the crossed-call-waiting game with him.

I wish Andy would call, and one future event I’m really looking forward to is the beach. I’m staying with him for 4 nights and 5 days. I’m looking more and more forward to having summer hurry up and arrive. Always thinking about swimming, tanning and summer clothes. Getting into shape too, even though people say I look fine. I’m getting more and more muscular with time but I really want to get rid of this bloat and pull my inner thighs in a bit.

I laughed when one of Dr. Leitch’s nurses said I was small-framed and also, according to my height, I should be between 103-113 pounds.

Later…

Thank God I was never left-handed. How could I play the guitar if I was? Someone once said to turn the guitar around and I burst out laughing. That’s even more impossible than reading both upside down and backward at once. You’d literally have to change the entire chord patterns.

God, am I gonna miss this apartment! It isn’t worth the 100% isolation, though, that’s for sure.

I know life will never be anywhere near the life I really want. I will feel useless and unfulfilled and rather sad and angry at times but I sure hope it’s better than this. There’s got to be a better life and a way to settle happily for second best. A way to settle down.

I just put Shadow in the stairwell and he better not claw the door. What am I gonna do about him when I move? I sure as hell can’t let him roam around freely while I’m out or asleep. He’ll claw my bedroom door and trash the place and run around. I’d like to get a longer leash that’s a rope type of material rather than this metal chain. He’ll clatter that all over the place. I want to get him a longer leash, too. I haven’t seen the layout of this place on the inside or outside yet, but he must be leashed down. Hopefully, that can be outdoors as he’s a very disrespectful and destructive cat at times and I will not put up with babysitting him. Or cat-proofing my whole entire place. Leashing him down indoors will do no good if he’s that determined to piss me off. You know how he likes to be hit at times and yelled at.

I just got up, went into the stairwell and did something to guarantee he doesn’t wake me up tonight. I took two barrettes, a very long extension cord, and his leash. Hooked his leash to his collar, clamped one barrette to one end of the extension cord, clamped the other barrette and the other end of the cord to a scarf tied onto the railing.

Later…

I just left Kim a note and stuck my answering machine inside my cabinet. I do that so as not to be woken up by its clicking as it resets itself. I hate that. The good thing about it is, though, if I’m up and have forgotten to turn on my ringer and someone calls it clicks right before and after their message. If they leave one. Fran or maybe even Andy will probably try calling tonight.

Well, I’ve got to go and at least lay down at this point. I have written a total of 42 pages between my last journal and the beginning of this one. I’m still in the kitchen so I’m gonna get my tired butt out of this chair and move on into the bedroom. I wish early evening would just hurry up and arrive so I can go to sleep.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 1992 When I woke up, there was a message from Fran. I wish he or Andy would call me now.

Jessie told me she mailed out my 3 bathing suits. True to my doubt I never got them. Why is she doing this to me? What is the point? Why does she feel the great need to lie to me and keep those suits? She’s always been 100% honest with me so why is she pulling this on me now? I’ve never lied to her or borrowed anything from her and refused to return it.

Later…

I spoke with Bob for a little while then took all my pictures down. I took them down from the bedroom, living room, and stairwell.

Just as soon as Sugar Loaf Market opens, I am gonna go get ciggies, cat food, munchies and that Lactaid. I hope they have it. This bloating’s driving me nuts. It’s gonna put stretch marks on me something horrible. And believe me, I already have tons of stretch marks, craters, and scars. My skin’s so blotchy, too. I wish I had a smoother complexion. I hope Sugar Loaf Market sells it cuz who knows when I can get it with Kim if I have to go to Greenfield.

Bob says he can probably take me grocery shopping early Monday morning.

I haven’t done more editing yet, but I was listening to some tapes. I guess I’ll go hear some more.

Later…

I went to Sugar Loaf Market and they don’t have that Lactaid. Neither does Cumberland. I did spend $27, though. I got a carton of smokes as well as some food.

No mail at all today.

Fucking Jessie pisses me off. I’m so disappointed with that little fuck. And shocked as I never figured she’d pull something like this on me. I know she’s in school and has a kid and when you’ve got a kid you’ve got no life but there’s still no excuse.

Tammy’s taping Gloria tomorrow night which is great. I really do appreciate her doing that.

Tomorrow I have to change Shadow’s box and clean up a bit. At least try to neaten and organize stuff better. When you’re gonna move, yet not right away, it can become quite confusing. Especially when you’re only half-packed and you cannot pack everything at once cuz you know there’s stuff you’ll still need.

I vow never to give up writing like I gave up reading. Giving up reading isn’t something I wanted to do. It just happened. I can’t get into it anymore. I wish it didn’t happen that way cuz I loved reading very much. I really used to enjoy it but I guess writing is very different.

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i-luvsang · 1 year

Note

hihi :D. i'm back to do some crazy rants ig since i can't sleep :,). ig i'll just pick up where we left last time?

which is the hair colours! so i saw they dyed yunhos hair blue... AND THEY DID A MESSY JOB AT IT TOO? like in the idol radio pic you could still see a line of like blond hair?? i just know his hair is fried.. they should've kept it blonde urgh. also my neobong... apparently he told at a fansign his hair isn't finished yet? now, i have my theories! like 2 years ago yeo said he wanted to split dye his hair mint and pink. so that's what a lot of people are thinking, and that could be possible ig? but yk what i would love to see? GREEN AND BLACK!! like yk the billie eilish hairstyle with the green roots? OORRRR like the 'hidden' hairstyle where the top is like black and the 'hidden' part of his hair is green and he has like green bangs/fore pieces. i think they're gonna let the green fade tho. TALKING ABOUT NEO...

I'M PICKING UP WHERE I LEFT TALKING ABT GETTING INTO NCT. i am in love with taeyong!! LIKE OBSESSED!! DELUSIONAL OVER THIS MAN!! he's so so so fine!!! like tyong pls come home the kids miss you :(!!! my faves have not changed from last time ig, but i'll say my biases from each unit just bcs i can ig? nct 127 is obv taeyong!!! my nct dream bias is haechan and for wayv it's xiaojun. i'm not rlly counting in nct u bcs the line up is different each cb yk. and if u wanna count in djj it jaehyun, that man is so fine AHDHS. that's all i had to say abt kpop. i haven't rlly been keeping up with a lot of kpop content these days tbh, i've been watching criminal minds :)!

and since ik you have a blog for criminal minds etc i'll rant a bit abt cm here too? i'm at ssn 13 right now so i'm almost done :,). i just finished the eps where that annoying ass lady split up the bau and tried making changes and they secretly team up to catch this serial killer that kills these women and sells like the pics of it and they end up saving the daughter of this dude with a lot of power and he ends up funding the bau etc. i'm so excited to finish cm soon but also not? but i feel like it's kinda time too since i've been watching it for so long. i had to take breaks watching it bcs school and struggles with paranoia so it took me a long time to get back into it again. but now that i'm watching it again i'm so happy bcs i missed the show so much. i think that was my rant since i have nothing else going on rn, i'm a homebody who does nothing more than to sit in their room and watch kpop content, tv shows and read 😭 thank you for listening <3 — 🎧

hello !! you know i love the rants babe !!

i completely agree that they should have kept the blonde. i was excited when i thought they could have a new color but after concert pics with the blonde and the not so great dye job for the blue i'm wishing we could have kept the blonde too :,) but no for sure, he said something like being on the third bleach round or something like i'm crying for him rn akfhakjf

and YEAH NO BECAUSE I WAS TALKING ABT THIS WITH OTHER MOOTS AND- i really really like the idea of the mint green and pink bc like thats so fairy coded and hes so fairy coded and like i also def prefer a mint green to whats going on right now (tho its growing on me mostly bc yeosang just always looks so freaking good). and like i dont think i'd like the idea of the green and pink if it were the split dye like one side pink one side green but i feel like it was supposed to be the top of his hair being pink and the bottom green which could look so freaking good and adorable. BUT UHHH NOW THAT YOU MENTION THE GREEN AND BLACK, BABES THAT IS TOO GOOD you're a literal genius. they probably will just have it fade but i'm praying they do something like that with it sorry to your hair yeo LOL

I SEE I SEE taeyong is definitely a very easy man to simp over. yeah i never count nct u LOL fahfkjsdf but i see you ! i'm understanding, my sister is a haechan stan HAH i just love making fun of him its in my nature as a renjun lover. honestly i'm barely an nctzen anymore BUT i still enjoy dabbling in their content and convos about them like this from time to time it feels nostalgic and nice. i've always been more of a dreamie so i've been passing through neotown more lately with their comeback approaching.

oH MY GOD CRIMINAL MINDSSS my comfort show fr AHAHAH i'm a little crazy. fun fact emily prentiss is my gay awakening !! i'm actually rewatching it rn i'm still on ssn 10 tho lol. ngl i only vaguely remember that ep rn i will be reminded when i get to it LOL. i get you tho omg like it's so long and it's exciting to get through esp if you've had to take breaks like that so valid !! but also i never want my favorite things to end LOL but i mean here i am rewatching it so it's not a huge deal anymore khfkajsd i'm glad you've felt happy watching it tho !! that's awesome.

but babe you are literally me that is legit also the only thing i do, we are twinsies fr. you're welcome for listening and ty for sending it in !! you know i love to hear from you <333

#［ messages %.#［ my darlings %.#［ 🎧 anon %.#oh also i hope you can sleep soon !!#get some good rest <333

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alewritesfics · 2 years

Text

Unacceptable Feelings

Summary: the last day of the country visit, will it turn out how Edwina wants in the end?

Paring: Anthony Bridgerton x Sharma Sister!reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: unedited , angst, more inappropriate encounters, more angst, btw, not that anyone was asking, I was listening to The Last Time by Taylor Swift while writing the first part, so if you're in the mood to cry, listen to that while reading, it really made me cry when writing it, so it either made it hurt more or I'm just that sensitive.

Also, if anyone has any opinions, feel free to express them, I really want to know what you think.

Series Masterlist

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“Hey Bon” Kate greets me as she joins me in the garden, sitting down at the bench with me, I smile at her

“You have been very pensive lately” She mused

“I do not think I am going to marry this season, deedee” I say quietly

“What are you talking about?” I stayed silent

“You know you can tell me” She lays her head on my shoulder “You are my sister who I love more than anything, I will never judge you, on anything”

“There is no one, who captures my attention enough to marry, and there is the matter of my dowry, and-“ I swallow as tears stung my eyes “I fear I have done something entirely wrong, Kate” she stayed quiet, letting me continue

“I have feelings for someone, someone I should not feel anything for” I admit, blinking my eyes furiously “But I cannot help it” a tear dropped from my eye

“ I cannot marry anyone while I have feelings for this person, it is wrong for me to do it, and I wish I did not feel how I feel, but every time we spent time together, and I got to know him more and more, I got to know the kind of person that he is, and with the way my heart started to race every time he touched me, I knew i fell” I sniffled “And it hurts” I cry out, sobs escaping me.

“I have been thinking since this morning, and I figured out how I felt. I know I can never be with him, not in a million years, especially since he is going to ask someone else to marry him. Something I know is going to break me when the time comes and it is all my fault. I knew from the start that he was not interested in me, but I ignored it and now, now I am going to pay the price” She lifted her head up from my shoulder and stared at me sadly

“I am breaking, deedee” I sob loudly and hugged her tightly “I hate this, I hate this feeling, I hate him for making me feel this, I wish I never met him and got to know him!”

“Bon,” Kate pulled away from our hug “He does not deserve your tears” I nodded, trying to stop crying, but I was not able to

“No one does, especially not Anthony Bridgerton” I went to speak up “Do you think I have not seen how you look at him” She smiled sadly

“Even before you figured out your feelings for him, I knew how you felt. You did after all say you wanted to marry him since the first day you met him” She wiped away my tears as I calmed down, sniffling “How about this,”

“What if, after Edwina is married, you leave to India with me, I was after all going to leave immediately after either of you married” She offers “You come with me, the less you see him, the more your feelings for him will subside, and you get to visit our home, once the season starts again, you come back for your second season, after all, there is no rush to get married, you are one and twenty and on your first season, you still have a few seasons to go before you are considered a spinster” I nodded

“Yes ” I smiled feeling better

“Yeah?” Kate smiled happily

“I would like that very much” I nodded

“Great!” Kate stood up “Now, let us go take a walk around the garden, no need to think about that hideous man anymore” I laugh along with her as she pulled me up from the bench to start our walk

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

It is the night of the ball. I was walking down the staircase along with my family and Lady Danbury. I look down to the dance floor. Couples dancing all over and families stood over to the side.

“Miss Edwina, might I have your first dance?” I looked down a few steps, Anthony’s face gracing my sight. He looked at me for a second before turning back to Edwina.

“Certainly, my lord” She accepted and walked off with him leaving me to stare after them.

I looked back at my family, smiling at Kate who smiled back reassuringly, and then she walked down with Mama. Only Lady Danbury and I left. I approached Lady Danbury.

“Have you been enjoying your time alone with the Viscount” my face paled as I looked at her “You are friends and there are times you both are nowhere to be seen, like yesterday morning, in fact, I assume you both went for a walk, chaperoned of course, right?”

“Oh yes, he is a marvelous person” I smiled lightly, she smiled back humming and walked down. My smile faded as I sighed tiredly

I walked down to the refreshments table and walked away after I grabbed a glass . I looked out to the dance floor, where Anthony and Edwina were dancing, as I sip on my drink. Edwina approached me once the dance was finished.

“Lord Bridgerton has gone to get me a glass of lemonade” She tells me cheerfully, I hummed “We’ve just finished our second dance, I am certain he would have not asked me for two, if he did not have intentions for the evening”

“I am pleased to hear that” I smiled at her

“I need you to dance with him” She demands

“What?” my smile faded

“I need to know if he is going to declare himself by the end of the ball, as I hope, and you are the only one who can find out” she explains as I look over to Anthony, who is staring back at us.

“This may very well be my last chance” Edwina pleads, I stare at her conflicted

“Miss Edwina” Anthony called out, handing her a glass of lemonade

“Lord Bridgerton” Edwina said giddily “ My sister wishes to take to the floor”

“Ah” he hummed staring at me, I stared back emotionlessly

“With you” Edwina clarified smiling, grabbing his glass of lemonade from his hands.

“Miss Y/n, may I have this dance?” he held out his hand, I looked at Edwina, who nodded encouragingly.

I am only doing this for you Bon, only for you.

“You may, my lord” I grab his hand and he leads me to the floor

Music starts as we get into position and we commenced dancing. We looked into each others eyes as we danced, us being a little bit closer than we needed to. Which was not helping with my feelings.

I could see my family and his watching us from the sides. As I catches Edwina’s figure, I was reminded of why I was dancing with him in the first place.

“Are you going to propose to my sister by the end of the evening?” I asked, looking forwards

“Will it make you happy if I did?” I furrowed my eyebrows. Why did it matter how it made me feel?

“I want my sister to be happy” I ignored his question

“Do you think I can make her happy?”

“That is a question for you” I say “Can you make her happy?”

“If your silence is an indication you are considering your declaration-“

“Is that what you want? For me to reconsider?” He cuts me off

“Of course not, that is not what I want” I exclaim “It would break Edwina’s heart if you did not propose”

“Is that really what you want?” I decide not to answer and instead change the conversation

“I am to return with Kate to India” I inform him, his face goes pale “The moment Edwina is married”

“You will abandon her?” Anthony says angrily

“Far from it, Anthony, she will be married, she will not need me and for personal reasons, it would be better for me to leave and return once it is time for the next season to start, or maybe not at all” we stopped dancing as he stares at me with wide eyes

“It is better that way” I bowed as the dance finishes, he swallows and marches off. I look at him as he walks further away.

“Where is the Viscount going?” Edwina approached me

“I, I do not know” I answer

“Well what did you say?” I breath heavily

“i- I shall find him” I say to reassure her “Give me a moment” I walk off in search of Anthony.

I see him walk off into a study and follow after him quickly. I close the door after him.

“Why are you so distressed?” I questioned as he paces angrily.

“When will you leave?” He ignores my question “immediately, once your sister is married?”

“That is what Kate and I agreed on, yes” he looks all over the room

“And you will not concern yourself with finding a match of your own?”

“I said I will return for my second season, then am I going to find a husband”

“Is this an excuse to keep me away from your sister? Did Miss Sharma put you up to this, so I would not marry Miss Edwina, that is it, is it not?”

“No, of course not!” I exclaimed getting frustrated “Why does it matter if I leave or not? You want to marry Edwina, not me”

“Then tell me why you are planning to leave” he walked closer to me “Have I done something wrong?” He said exasperated

“No!”

“Why, are you leaving then!” he exclaimed, I huff.

“Pardon me, Anthony, but it does not concern you, you really are starting to vex me with all your demands!” he huffs frustrated

“And what is it, do you think you do to me?”

“What do I do to you?” I exclaimed

We stared at each other, us both breathing heavily. He got closer to me, making my heart start to race.

“You anger me” he murmured

“Well, you anger me too” I whispered nodding my head. His eyes roamed all over my face.

“I am a gentleman” he got even closer to me, I could feel my heart getting ready to burst out of my chest.

“And your heart” I whisper staring into his eyes “is with my sister”

“And my heart” he looks down at my lips “Is with your sister”

His nose brushed mine “What are you doing” I question quietly

“Say you do not feel anything for me” he whispered into my ear, giving me goosebumps “tell me you feel nothing and I will walk away” I closed my eyes

“I feel..” I start to say “ I feel..” he leaned in, his lips brushing over mine.

The door opened making us jump apart quickly, as if our bodies suddenly caught fire.

“Oh” Daphne said shocked “ I am so sorry” She apologized and left quickly.

“Daphne” Anthony said and hurried after her, looking at me one last time and closing the door after him.

I breathed out, blinked my eyes rapidly as tears started to brim my eyes. I closed my eyes after, rubbing my head angrily. A tear escaping my closed eyes.

It will really be better that I leave.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Dearest gentle reader, while much occurred at the Bridgerton country visit.

This author feels not all is fit to print, especially when so much is already known by far too many members, but if you thought that we would reach the end of this journey without this trusted author finding a truly delectable marcel of gossip, rhen you are solely mistaken.

While Prudence Featherington secured her match, it was not the only appearance of note.

The next morning, we walked down the stairs after bidding everyone a goodbye, giving a hug especially to the Bridgerton family, Daphne stared at me knowingly when I hugged her. We were leaving today for Mayfair.

“I am sorry things did not go as planned Bon” I tell Edwina who walked along sadly, Kate on the other side of her.

“It is not your fault deedee” She tells me “We both did everything we could have done, the Viscount’s feelings are clearly not there for me” I looked down at the floor

“Perhaps they are elsewhere” She said as we approached the carriage, I looked at her, debating on whether to tell her the truth, Kate nodded at me comfortingly from beside her.

“Edwina” I start “There is something I must tell you-“

“Wait!” We turned to the our left side, Anthony approaching us rapidly.

“Anthony” I murmured

“I need to speak to you” I look at him confused “Miss Edwina” he added once he saw I was looking at him

“My lord?” Edwina questioned, when he got closer to her, he knelt down on one knee, my heart started to race quickly.

“Miss Edwina Sharma,” he opened up a ring box, tears started to brim my eyes “Will you marry me?”

I tried to hide the pain I felt from my face, but based on the concerned look Kate gave me, I was not successful.

“Yes, yes” Edwina exclaimed happily, handing me her gloves “yes, I shall be your Viscountess, I shall marry you” Anthony smiled and put the ring on her finger

Anthony Bridgerton is now betrothed to Miss Edwina Sharma.

Victory indeed.

A tear dropped from my eye, I wiped it away quickly, making sure nobody saw me. But everybody was focused on the now betrothed couple, happiness displayed on their faces.

But I, I could feel my heart breaking inside.

#anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x y/n #anthony bridgerton x you #edwina sharma #kate sharma #anthony bridgerton #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton #violet bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #edmund bridgerton #daphne bridgerton #daphne basset #lady mary sharma #lady whistledown #lady danbury #hyacinth bridgerton

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promenadewithme · 3 years

Note

May I please have prompt 62 with Simon Basset x female!reader?

Of course! Thank you for requesting!

Pairing: Simon Basset x Fem!Reader

Prompt: 62 (”She doesn’t belong with him” “Than who does she belong with?” “...with me.”)

Warnings: very slight angst with a happy ending. I'm sorry, but I just had to include him saying "I burn for you".

Word count: 1.7 k

Tell me if you want to join my tag list!

Oblivious

__________________________________________

Dearest Readers,

it has come to this author’s attention that Lady (y/n) (y/l/n) and Lord Benedict Bridgerton were seen promenading earlier this week. We all know Miss (y/l/n) to be a close friend to the Bridgertons, but will she officially become part of the family? Rest assured, if there is an engagement this author will find out.

Your’s Truly,

Lady Whistledown.

__________________________________________

YOUR P.O.V.

“This is absurd!” you exclaimed. “We were seen walking and now we’re to be married?”

“Calm down, (y/n). You know Whistledown is just a gossip, no one will remember this in a week.” said Benedict, putting down his sketchbook to look at you.

As soon as you woke, your lady’s maid showed the infamous society papers and you all but ran to the Bridgerton estate. Benedict was, as always, in the drawing room sketching away. He had already read the paper, but thought nothing of it. He was calm, so calm it irritated you.

“Ben, you don’t understand! If people think I’m engaged to you, they will stop courting me and, unless you plan on marrying me, that is a disaster! I have to marry this season!” at this point Benedict stood up and caressed your arm in an attempt of calming you down. To anyone else, this scene would be scandalous and incredibly improper, but you and Ben have known eachother since infancy and were the best of friends, so there was nothing romantic about the gesture.

“(y/n), my dear, what is this rush? We are still young, you can see so many more seasons before being considered a spinster. You are beautiful, smart, accomplished and any man in the ton would be more that lucky to have you as his wife. If they don’t see it, it’s their loss. As for the rumors chasing them away, I believe it will do quite the opposite.” he said with a smirk.

“Whatever do you mean? If they believe I am to be married, how would it attract them?” you asked, incredulous.

“Well, not to brag, but I am a Bridgerton. If they think you caught my eye, they’d be curious to know what’s so special about you. So, don’t fret. All will be well.” With one last reassuring squeeze, he turned around and sat back down. “Now, are you going to Lady Danbury’s ball this evening?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at his sketch, not quite contempt with the shading.

“Of course I am, it’s the biggest ball of the season!” you exclaimed, sitting down on the sofa in front of him.

“Thank the heavens! If my mother tries to push eligible ladies my way, I’ll run in your direction.” he said, still sketching. Benedict stopped for a second and looked up at you “I heard a certain Duke will be there.” he stated with a smirk. You rolled your eyes and said “We all know he is bewitched by Daphne, it does not matter if he will be there.”

“Of course it matters, you are in love with the man! And, to be completely honest, I don’t believe it is my sister who his heart belongs to. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, it’s the same way Colin looks at maps or Eloise looks at books.” He was leaning forward now, elbows on his knees, hands loosely clasped.

“Like I’m an object?” you said, kidding of course and dying to change the subject. You had the tendency to get your hopes up and the last thing you wanted was to believe your friend and end up with a broken heart.

“Like you hung the moon and the stars.” he had a serious expression and your heart skipped a beat with the thought that Simon would ever look at you that way, but you knew it would never happen. So you waved your hand, smiled and said “I think all the charcoal and paint is going straight to your brain, Mr. Bridgerton. I expect to see your hands all clean if you are to dance with me to trick your poor mama.” Standing up, you curtsied mockingly and said your goodbyes before walking out the door.

SIMON'S P.O.V.

Simon woke with news from Lady Whistledown. He was never one to believe in gossip, but Daphne was always talking about the society papers during their fake courting, so his curiosity got the best of him. What he did not expect was to read (y/n)'s name.

He had sworn to himself that he would never marry, but arriving at the beginning of the season he couldn't help but be smitten by you. He tried to fight it, but every time you smiled he saw himself smiling along, every time you wore his favourite colour he forgot how to breathe, and every time he saw you with Benedict Bridgerton he couldn't control his jealousy.

He confided in Daphne about it and she guaranteed (y/n) and the second Bridgerton son were just close friends, but Lady Whistledown seems to think differently. To be married? Was this true? If so, he knew it was for the best. He would be able to keep his promise to himself, but he could not help the ache in his heart as he dressed for the day.

(Y/N)'S P.O.V.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, pleased with the outcome. Your lady's maid had weaved delicate flowers in your hair, that was pulled up loosely and you wore your newest dress, long white gloves and the family diamonds. Madame Delacroix really outdid herself this time. It was your favourite colour, with princess sleeves, only slightly puffed, and had embroidered tulle at the hem and bottom part of the skirt. You looked truly beautiful.

"(y/n), it's time to-" your mother paused at the door and looked at you. She smiled softly at your reflection. "You look so beautiful, my dear... Do you think a certain Lord might like it too?" she said smiling softly.

"It is not the Lord's attention I want, mama. You know Ben is just a friend" you said, playing with the skirt of your dress.

"I know, sweetheart, I just don't want you do get hurt. All I want is for you to be happy and what better than to marry your best friend?" she hugged you from behind and kissed your cheek, still looking at your reflection.

"To marry the one you love..."

SIMON'S P.O.V.

"You really have outdone yourself, Lady Danbury." Simon said, looking down at the woman who practically raised him. She was wearing a white gown, a tiara and long white gloves, radiant as always, leaning on her cane.

"I always do, my boy. Now, look at that! Your beloved has arrived." she declared with a small smirk.

"I have already spoken to Daphne" he said, nodding in the Bridgerton family direction, however his heart was beating out of his chest as he turned to look at (y/n). It seemed impossible, but she was even more beautiful than the last time he saw her. Simon looked away before he was caught staring.

"We both know I'm not speaking of the Bridgerton girl. You are not as discreet in your brooding as you like to think." he looked at you again, but you were already speaking to Benedict, who was leading you to the dance floor. "What is bothering you, boy?"

Simon stared at the pair dancing for a moment before responding. "She does not belong with him."

"Than who does she belong with?" (y/n) was laughing at something Benedict said and Simon could not bare the view anymore.

"...With me." he mumbled before heading to the gardens.

(Y/N)'S P.O.V.

The song finished and you curtsied, smiling at your best friend. The smile slowly turned into a frown as you saw Simon walking out, into the gardens.

"Go after him." Benedict whispered.

"What? We would be unchaperoned, it would be scandalous!" you answered, only loud enough for him to hear.

"I'll stand at the door and make sure no one sees. Go!" you smiled and wished you could hug you best friend. "Thank you, Ben." you said as you went into the garden after the man you love. The weather was pleasant and the garden was completely empty, with only the Duke passing back and forth close to the bushes.

"Simon?" he stopped in his tracks, looking surprised as he gazed back at you and stepped closer.

"What are you doing here, if we were to be caught unchaperoned yo-" you stopped the nervous man by saying "Benedict is at the door, no one will see."

"Of course he is." he mumbled, but you heard.

"What does that mean?" you asked, not understanding his sudden dislike for the lord.

"It means he is always around, always with you." he spat out.

"Well, he is my best friend." you could not believe what he was saying. "What do you have against him?" you questioned.

"Are you truly to be married?" he demanded, ignoring your question.

"What?" you replied, completely incredulous.

"Please don't." he murmured.

"Simon, I-" you tried to answer but he cut you off.

"Before you say anything, please listen to me. Don't marry him, please." he paused for a second, adjusting his posture. "I love you. You..." he shook his head. "You don't even know what you do to me. Ever since I can remember, I have promised myself I would never fall victim to love, would never marry, would not let my family name carry on. Then came you."

Simon took a step closer and continued to speak. "You changed my plans, awoke desires I never knew I had, you have stolen my heart and my soul... I burn for you." he took your gloved hands in his, caressing them softly. "Don't marry him, marry me." he gazed into your eyes, waiting your answer.

"Simon... It was never my plan to marry Benedict, I was completely honest when I said he is nothing but a friend." you smiled up at him before saying "you are the one I love, always have been."

Simon grinned before pulling you into a passionate kiss, one hand on your back and the other behind your neck. It was a good thing Benedict was at the door, if anyone saw this scene and the rumours reached Lady Whistledown... You didn't even want to think about the ruin it would bring upon your family.

When you and Simon finally parted you managed to mumble "We truly have been oblivious, haven't we? I thought you were in love with Daphne." he chuckled.

"And I thought you to be with Benedict. Good thing you followed me out here, my love." he said, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

"From now on, it's all I'll ever do."

#simon basset #simon basset x reader #bridgerton #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagine #simon basset fanfiction #simon basset x (y/n)#simon basset x y/n

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theinvisiblecapricorn · 3 years

Text

Surprise, surprise.

Author's note: This is my first ever written one shot. The inspiration popped into my head during my shower. Please let me know what you think. Enjoy

Fluffy one shot.

Part 1.

// Introduction //

A little info about Y/N and Vinnie.

So, you guys met during the first Covid lockdown.

You weren’t really seeing anyone of your friends during this time because you didn’t feel like taking any risks. So the only way for you to interact with anyone, was via social media. Before lockdown you also kind of give up on the idea of finding a lover because the last time you gave it a shot it didn’t work out.

You remember one of your best friends told you ‘’ Once you start focusing on yourself, it’ll come to you. ‘’ Well, what better way to focus on yourself other than during quarantine?

That’s when Vinnie came into the picture.

After many failed attempts of having a normal conversation with serval people, the last thing Vinnie expected was to meet someone like you. A lot of the time people tried to take advantage of the fact that he was famous. They would post his personal info on social media and share their conversations for clout. Just like you, Vinnie was kind of over the idea of meeting someone who would like him for his personality instead of his name.

You guys instantly clicked. It felt like talking to someone you’ve known your entire life. There wasn’t a thing you couldn’t share with another. But because the two of you lived in different time zones you couldn’t talk as much as you’d like, but you made it manageable. There was only one problem; traveling was not an option due to Covid, so the two of you had never seen each other in real life.

Until now…

// End of introduction //

Alex (Warren) set up his camera to make a video.

He clicked on record and looked into the camera.

‘’ So as you guys know, Vinnie and Y/N met online in the beginning of Covid, but they’ve never officially seen each other in real life. Now that traveling is allowed again and Vinnie hasn’t been feeling himself lately, I thought it was a good idea to surprise him. I bought y/n a plan ticket so she can come over and hopefully cheer Vinnie up. And I will document the entire journey. ‘’

// Vinnie’s POV //

It’s noon. I lay on my bed, scrolling on my phone through TikTok. I haven’t heard from Y/N all day. Normally she would call me before going to bed herself, but she never did. I tried texting her but no reply.

Y/NNNN????

Yo bro, you there???

I miss your voiceeee

Please don’t be asleep already 

Pick up!!!!!! Or else I’m coming for you.

God, I wish I could just fly to wherever she was at and kiss her entire face. Because, yes, I am indeed in love with her, and she feels the same way about me. I just never thought I could recognize so much of myself in someone else. She’s the most kind, beautiful and loving person I know, and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms one day and never let go.

I’m starting to daydream about a life with y/n without the long distance, because it truly sucks. Then I hear a knock on the door and before I know it Alex comes rushing in with his camera in his hand.

( Vinnie & Alex )

‘’ Vinnie, say hello to everyone! ‘’

‘’ Hello everyone. Alex what do you want? ‘’

‘’ Why are you assuming I want something from you? ‘’

‘’ Because you only enter my room if you either have one of your crazy ideas to share or if you want me to get involved in something I probably shouldn’t get involved into. ‘’

‘’ Pfft, not true. My ideas aren’t crazy, they’re brilliant in their own way. ‘’

Alex grins at me. Suspiciously.

‘’ Anyways that’s not the point Vincent, I actually came in to see if you would join me to get some groceries because the only thing left are rise waffles and I’m starving. ‘’

Alex is blinking his eyes with the same grin he has had on from the moment he came into my room.

He’s not going to leave until I agree on coming. So before I know it, we’re on our way to the grocery store.

// Y/N’s POV //

I received a text from Alex a few weeks ago. He told me about his idea to surprise Vinnie. I couldn’t be more excited. Ever since Vinnie and I started talking I have pushed many of my personal boundaries. In a positive way. Vinnie has helped me regain trust in others and has showed me that love is real. I have lost my faith in love due to my previous experiences. That’s why the connection that I have with Vinnie is so important to me.

I have arrived at the airport as I turn on my phone. My phone starts to receive all the missed text messages and calls from Vinnie. I smile as I read through them.

‘’ Oh Vin, if only you knew ‘’ I think to myself.

I hear someone yelling my name behind me. As I turn around, I see Nailea running towards me.

Nailea is a close friend of Vinnie so of course she was the first to know about Vinnie’s contact with me. She’s been super kind to me, and I consider her as the sister I never had.

Nailea hugs me once she has approached me.

( Y/N & Nailea )

‘’ OH MY GOD. Girl, I am so happy that you’re finally hereeeee!!! ’’

I laugh as I see people around looking at us.

‘’ I am also very happy to be here. To finally meet everyone. For real. ‘’

‘’ Yea, now tell me, does my nose look bigger on the screen than in real life? ‘’

‘’ Hahaha, no Nai. You look fantastic on the screen and even better in real life. ‘’

Nailea and I take my stuff and walk out of the airport.

Once settled in the car, I receive a text from Alex:

We’re almost at the store. He hasn’t got a clue. See you there.

This is all a part of Alex his big plan. First, I will act like a regular costumer shopping at the same store as Vinnie and Alex. Then once they get back, Alex will distract Vinnie just a little longer, so he won’t notice me walking past the car right away. Brilliant.

// Vinnie’s POV //

Alex and I walk into the store.

‘’ Alright, what do we need? ‘’

‘’ Anything but rise waffles. ‘’

I shake my head, laughing, as I walk to the lemonade aisle.

Alex is taking out his camera and starts filming me from a far.

I start singing Paparazzi by Lady Gaga as I act like I'm hiding from him.

‘’ Oh, you should also take a few cans of coke. ‘’ Alex suggests.

As I walk towards the aisle with cans of lemonade, I notice a girl standing in front of it. Her hair instantly reminds me of Y/N. The exact same length, color and texture. Call me a simp, but I just pay a lot of attention to the girl I love. I slowly approach the girl before Alex attacks be by throwing a teddy bear on my head.

‘’ Hey, watch it! ‘’ I fix my hair.

‘’ Sorry man, I just know how much you like teddy bears. ‘’ Alex’s laughing out loud as he zooms in to my face.

I laugh, as I start to think back to the day Alex thought it would be funny to buy a giant teddy bear and have Patrick in it to scare me.

Just then, I notice the girl was gone. I didn’t see her anywhere else again.

After collecting all the stuff, we needed, we went home.

Once we arrived home, Alex stopped me before I opened my car door.

‘’ Let’s just sit here for a bit and talk about some stuff. ‘’ I stare at Alex with a confused look on my face.

‘’ Yea, because the viewers want to know, how are things going between you and Y/N? ‘’

I scratch the back of my neck and start feeling the heat take over my cheeks.

‘’ I mean, it’s hard sometimes. She’s one of the most important people in my life, yet I haven’t even met her in person. But I just know that once I do, that everything will naturally fall into it’s place. ‘’

Alex pouts as he listens to all the sweet things I have to say.

‘’ You really like her, don’t you? ‘’

‘’ I mean, yea I do. I really do. ‘’

‘’ Alright, so imagine her standing in front of you right now, what would you do? ‘’

I look at my hands as I start to imagine a situation like that.

‘’ Uh… If she was standing in front of me right now.. I would.. ‘’ My eyes scan a figure walking past the car and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

// Y/N’s POV //

Shit, I almost got caught. The plan was to go into the store, just to admire Vinnie from a far. I didn’t plan to stand in the exact aisle, where he needed to get something from. Luckily, Alex had a plan to distract Vinnie while I fled to the exit. Phew, that was close.

Alex texted me, saying they were on their way home. That’s when it hit me, I am going to be able to see, touch and kiss Vinnie for the first time ever. Nailea noticed my anxiety kicking in and she told me everything would be just fine.

It didn’t take long before Alex’s car pulled up on the driveway. Alex and Vinnie stayed in the car for a bit. My phone started buzzing as I read the notification: ‘’ Now!’’ That was my cue.

As nervous as one can be, I walked past the car with the person who’s the other half of my heart in it. I didn’t dare to look in his direction.

// Vinnie’s POV //

I couldn’t believe my eyes. This isn’t real right? Was I dreaming? I mean, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night because I was worried sick due to Y/N not responding to me anymore.

I rub my eyes as I watch in the direction of the person again and there’s no way it couldn’t be her.

Then she turns her face into my direction and my heart starts pounding. There she is, the love of my life, the only person who can make my day just by popping up in my notifications, Y/N.

As I try to open my door, I hear Alex locking it.

‘’ Let me out! ‘’ I look at Alex as I try to unlock the door, but unable because he keeps his hand infront of the lock.

‘’ You haven’t answered my question yet. ‘’ Alex smirks at me, but I do not find it funny at all.

‘’ Please, let me out and I’ll show you what I would do if she were to stand in front of me ‘’

And with, I heard the door unlock. I jumped out of the car and ran as fast as I could to the person who I longed for the most.

Click here for part two;

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wrestlingoneshot · 2 years

Text

A MARINE'S REVENGE (PT. 1)

(Pairing: Ryan Erzahler/Dylan Lenivy)

(Triggering Warning: Blood, Violence)

Days earlier, In a mess hall on the U.S.S. Thunderbird, Sergeant Ryan Erzahler was reading a book as his brothers and sisters in arms walks in and sat at his table.

"Sup, killer!"

Ryan rolled his eyes at the nickname killer. They knew that Ryan showed no mercy when it comes to defend for others. That's why he's the 'Go to' guy when the higher ups needed someone to carry a special mission.

"Whatcha reading, killer?" Marie asked.

"It's a book that Dylan wrote." Ryan said.

That's another thing why they all respect Ryan. He's bluntly tell them how he feels and don't care about anyone's unwanted opinions. That's why none of them questioned his love life or anything personal of his. They will be grateful not getting a bullet in the knees or worse.

"Awww! Oh! Didn't he just won like a sciency award for some kind of break through?" Brandon asked.

"Sciency? Is that even a word? But yes, yes he did. I wish I was there watching him receive the award. My wonderful smart husband. Sometimes I asked myself how did I get so lucky." Ryan said as he turned the book to the cover and seen Dylan's confident smile as the book titled 'Atoms: Founders of Time and Space?' by Dr. Dylan Lenivy-Erzahler. Ryan couldn't be anymore prouder than he already is.

"You must be so over the moon. Keep it up, I'll be sick at your cuteness." Marie said with a smile.

"Who would had thought we get to see the killer's side like this?" Brandon chuckled.

"Do NOT take my kindness for a weakness. Dylan only makes me like this. So, don't try me. Am I clear?"

"Crystal" Brandon said.

Excitedly, another marine ran in the mess hall. "EVERYBODY! LISTEN UP YA FILTHY PIGS!" The whole mess hall booed the man and the man laughed. "You won't be booing me after you all hear the news! We got the word from the commander in chief, WE'RE GOING HOME!"

The whole mess hall erupted in cheers! Hugging and happy tears all around.

"I can't wait to be back home! What's the first thing you all going to do once you get home?" Brandon asked.

"Spend a lot of time with my wife and two kids" Marie said. "How about you?"

"My girl is about to give birth soon. I'm so happy to be home and not me missing that. Plus, I'm thinking about proposing."

"She will love that" Marie looks over to Ryan. "So? Any plans?"

Ryan chuckled. "Just me and my husband. That's it." Ryan said as he looked at the book cover.

"Thank you for listening to my presentation. I hope I didn't bore anyone to death." The room filled with laughter and applause. "Thank you." A woman walked up to the podium. "Ladies and gentleman, once again lets give our thanks to Dr. Lenivy-Erzahler." Dylan smiled as the room applaud loud for him. He made his way back stage and let out a deep exhale and loosen his tie. Dylan never knew his life would be like this. If you would had told him years ago that he would be married to a wonderful man, have a home with him with two cats and a world famous career, Dylan would laugh at you. He still couldn't believe this.

"Dr. Erzahler?"

Dylan pulled himself together. "Hm..uh..yes?"

"I just want to say that I read your book and I am drawn in your thesis. You really think time travel is possible?"

Dylan smiled at the young student. "With science, anything is possible. That's a good thing about science. It can help us understand things to prepare us for the future. Curing diseases, even help us with climate control."

"You're brilliant, Dr. Erzahler!"

Dylan smiled. "I thank you young one. I got to be going now."

"Can I have your autograph before you leave?"

"Sure, but promise me that you wouldn't sell it online." Dylan said as he took the book in his hands.

"Oh no! I would never!"

Dylan laughed and signed the book. After they said their goodbyes, Dylan went home to his small one floor house that he and his husband shared. He walked in the quiet house that been like this over a little of a year. Dylan walked into his home where he was greeted by both of his cats.

"Meow. Mow, mow..meeeow." Dylan chuckled as his cats just stared at him. "Sorry. Speaking in cat isn't my strong suit." Dylan dropped his keys onto the small table and his briefcase next to it. He walked over to a picture frame with him and Ryan at their small wedding at the base before Ryan's first deployment. Dylan sighed. Usually Ryan sent him letters or during times they were allowed to call home is when he get to hear Ryan's voice. It killed him to not know what Ryan is doing. There were times he thought of the worst. Dylan picked up the picture frame.

"Hey Ry-Guy. It been a long week. I hope your week went smoother than mine." Dylan ran a finger against the picture. "I miss you so much, Ry."

"I missed you too, sweetheart."

Dylan jumped a bit and turned around in shock. Standing there was Ryan holding some roses.

"What? Not happy to see your husb--ACK!"

Ryan was interrupted by Dylan tackling him onto the floor. Dylan couldn't help but to kiss Ryan so many times.

"Dyl--*get kissed*--Babe--*get kissed again*--honey can't breathe--*gets kissed again*" Ryan laughed after every kiss. Dylan stops and sat up a bit as Ryan props himself a bit onto his elbows. "Now that's a greeting"

"Ryan! You're home! I--I could cry right now."

"No, no sweetheart. Please, don't. I want to see that beautiful smile in person. Not on some cover of a book."

Dylan smiled. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming home? I could had gotten dinner ready and waiting for you. Or at least came and picked you up!"

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"This is the best surprise I can ever ask for."

Ryan stood up and took Dylan's hand to help him up. "Well, I'm not done with you yet, gorgeous."

Confused, Dylan blinked. "What?"

Ryan chuckled. "C'mon." Ryan leads Dylan to their bedroom and it dawned on Dylan.

"Oooohhh!"

Many, Many moments later, tangled in their bedsheets, Ryan about Dylan, passionately kissing after having the most tensed build up passionate love making. Ryan took a minute to look down at his beautiful husband, who was panting slightly to catch his breath. Both bodies slick with sweat which shows through Dylan's hair by being sticking to his forehead. Ryan reach up to brush the hair away from Dylan's eyes. Ryan couldn't help but to smile at those warm chocolate eyes.

"You're so beautiful." Ryan said softly.

Dylan chuckled. "Wow. Who knew you like me all sweaty and sticky."

"Even better when I'm the reason that get you hot and...sticky." Ryan smirked.

Dylan laughed as he pulled Ryan back down for a long, soft kiss. Dylan pressed his forehead against Ryan's and sighed happily.

"I'm so happy that you're home. There were times that I thought I was going to get a call or they come to the house and present me with a folded flag.."

"Whoa, hey now. Babe, look at me."

Dylan looked dead in Ryan's eyes. "It will take a helluva lot to put me down."

"I pretty much like the fact that nothing can take you down personally."

Ryan laughed. "Ok. Well there is nothing can keep me away from you. This I promise you. I'll always find my way back to you."

"....I love you, Ry."

"I love you too, Dyl."

Ryan and Dylan shared one more kiss before Dylan smirks. "So, Soldier, got it in you for one more round, or did I wear you out?"

"Let's test that theory"

Ryan started nibble on Dylan's neck as Dylan laughed. Hours later, Ryan woke up from his cloud 9 nap where Dylan's side of the bed was empty. Ryan sat up and looked around the room. He quickly slipped on some pajama bottoms and walked through their halls.

"Dyl? Sweetheart?"

Ryan found Dylan in his office looking like he's stressed out about something work related. Ryan sighed and walked over behind Dylan and start to give Dylan a small shoulder rub. Dylan felt the tension leave from Ryan's touch. Ryan just knew how Dylan like to be touched.

"So, working again?"

"Something like that. I need to complete this thesis. It's like I know what to do, but it just doesn't want to come out."

"Hm. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Sounds like you hit a science block."

"Well, I need that block to be removed."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"How about mentally make a bulldozer and telepathically send it to my brain so I can get rid of this mind block?"

Ryan laughed. "As amazing that would be, no can do. But I do have a better idea."

Dylan perked up. "What?"

Ryan spined Dylan around in his chair and bend over to face him. "How about you and I go on a vacation?"

"A vacation?"

"Yes. A vacation."

Dylan thought about it. "Hm. Alright. But we need to pick a weekend and book our flights--"

"No no. We're not planning nothing."

Dylan frown in confusion. "...I'm sorry but what do you mean?"

"What I mean is, in the next few hours, we pack up and hit the road. We go where ever the wheels takes us. So you can not think about planning or anything. Just go with the flow."

"Go with the flow, huh?"

"Go with the flow. So, how about it, sweetheart?"

Dylan thought about it and nods. "Alright. Sounds fun."

Ryan leans in and kissed Dylan. "Good. It starts right now. So lets get the packin'"

"But I gotta finish-"

"Tut, Tut, Tut...it starts now."

"Wow, so demanding are we?" Dylan stood up to follow Ryan.

"But don't act like you don't like it. You did marry me after all." Ryan chuckled.

"Yeah that's because you begged me to. With the kindness of my heart, I couldn't say no. Besides you're easy on the eyes and the sex is too good to pass up."

Ryan laughed. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

Hours later, Ryan was in the car as he waited for Dylan. Who god awfully took his time. He got in as the nerves started to kick in. Ryan watched Dylan tapped his fingers on the door handle.

"Ready to go, sweetheart?"

"Y--yeah! I am." Dylan bit his bottom lip. "Can we go check on the cats?"

"Dyl. Schrodinger and Artemis are fine. They're both safely at my sister's home with her family. Relax."

"Right! Right. Sorry, I just hate leaving them for a long time."

"Such a cat dad." Ryan laughed as he started up the car.

"You love them too."

"I sure do." Ryan reached over and held Dylan's hand as he started to drive.

"Thanks for suggesting this. We needed this." Dylan said.

Ryan lift Dylan's hand and kissed it. "Of course, sweetheart. I don't want to see you stressed out."

"Oh, before we go any further, can we make a quick stop in the city at the back? I need to make a deposit real quick."

"Sure."

An hour in, Ryan pulled up at a local back. He looked over at Dylan. "I'm going to get us a couple of drinks before we hit the road."

"Oh I want--"

"A Brisk Half and Half. I know."

"Awww! You're so good to me!" Dylan said with a smile.

"One Brisk and a Mountain Dew"

Dylan frowned. "I wish you stop drinking that crap. It messes up the male's testicles."

"I have yet hear you complain about my balls."

"At least not yet. Once they shivered up before you hit 30, I'm leaving you."

Ryan chuckled. "Ok. Is a lemonade good for me?"

"Yes. Much better. Thank you." Dylan smiled. "Love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

Ryan and Dylan went their separate ways. Dylan got in line to wait for a deposit slip. Outside, an unmarked van pulled up. About six hooded masked figures came out and stormed into the bank. The security guard stood up.

"Excuse me but no mask--"

One man pulled out his silencer and shot the guard. The others pulled out their guns and shot in the air. Everybody in the building panicked and screams. Dylan turned and watched the bullets fly. He quickly covered his body for a woman and her child. He quickly got them under a table.

"Sorry for the interruption, ladies and gents, it's withdrawal day and we came to collect. Now, like nice ladies and gents, I like all cash from the vaults and please do not stall. Don't think about calling the cops, or do something stupid, because I have a very, very trigger happy finger that is itching to be used." One masked man said in a eerie cheerful tone.

Dylan looked down at the scared mother and child. He pressed a finger to his lips. "I--It's going to be ok." Dylan nods. The mother nods as she cradle to her child. Dylan had to try to call Ryan. He is just around the corner at the store. Dylan looked at the family. "Stay here."

Dylan crawled out as he watched the bandits holding the clerks up for money. Dylan found a huge plotted plant that someone could hide behind. He quickly pulled out his phone to dial Ryan. But, one of the bandits was patrolling the area to make sure nobody was doing anything suspicious. His eyes laid onto Dylan. And before Dylan could press the call button, he felt the gun's barrel on the back of his head.

"...Shit." Dylan cursed under his breath.

"Well, Well...someone got some huge balls. Stand the fuck up."

Dylan complied as he slowly stood up with his hands held up. The bandit snatched Dylan's phone and hurled it to the other side if the building causing it to crack.

"Hey boss! Look, we got a brave heart over here!" The bandit poked Dylan's back with the gun. "Move it!"

Dylan quietly went in the center of the bank as the rest of the bandits collected the money. The so called leader, walked up to Dylan. "Well, now. Isn't this a thrill."

Dylan stood quiet. One thing about marrying a marine is that Ryan taught him to never show any fear. They will use it as a weakness a break you.

"Decided to play hero, huh?" The leader asked. Dylan stood quiet.

"A mute, huh? Refuse to talk? I'll make you talk."

The leader snapped his fingers. One of the bandits went to the mom and child and pointed their guns at them. Dylan heard them scream.

"NO STOP! C'MON! LEAVE THEM ALONE!" Dylan yelled out.

"You can talk! I knew you did." The leader walked up and pointed his gun under Dylan's chin. "Not so tough now are you, pretty boy?"

Dylan made sure his eyes glared down at the man. The leader tiled his head. "You look familiar. Oh yeah...you're dorky ass nerd everybody is talking about."

"....Fuck you."

"And he got bite! I like! You could be some use to me. Boys!" The leader snapped his fingers. One bandit came with a cloth filled with chloroform and covered Dylan's face. Dylan tried to fight against it but the chemical worked fast. Dylan got weak as two bandits grabbed Dylan. Dylan weakly looked over to the family and passed out as he was being dragged.

"Now, I'm a nice guy, so you guys got about, three minutes to leave or..." The leader pulled out a few dynamite. "It will be one fireworks you wish you missed." The leader tossed the dynamite onto the floor. Everybody panicked as they ran out the building. The leader took their time as they loaded up the van with the money and a unconscious Dylan. The leader was the last to get in and he signaled them to leave. Just as Ryan started walking to the building. The leader pressed a trigger button and the building exploded. The impact knocked Ryan backwards into a car. Ryan grits his teeth and shook his head. He had a moment to get himself together and realized that that back was the back Dylan was in.

"...Dylan!"

Ryan got up and ran into the burning building. Ryan coughed as the smoke was so thick.

"DYLAN?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Ryan started to go forward until he steps on something. Ryan looks down and seen a phone. He picked it up and pressed the button. The screensaver showed the picture of them before it finally died. This was Dylan's phone. Ryan panicked.

"DYLAN!! DYLAN!!!" Ryan ran out of the building. He frantically looking around and saw injured people and some dead. Ryan ran over to a cop car to grab the radio after hearing the dispatcher on the other end.

"Hello! Hello! This is Sergeant Ryan Erzahler of the Marine Corps we have trouble at Wells Fargo in Manhattan! Many wounded, a few dead. Send back up. And we have a kidnapping."

"Yes sir but do you know who is the victim?"

"Yes.." Ryan glared angrily as he grips the intercom. "Dr. Dylan Lenivy-Erzahler....my husband."

#drylan #dylan leviny #dylan x ryan #dylan/ryan #radioheads #ryan erzahler #ryan x dylan #ryan/dylan #rylan #the quarry

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woos-lil-oreo · 3 years

Text

Love Scene

Pairing: Song Min Gi x Female! Reader

Word Count: approximately 3.1k words

Warnings: Slight Voyeurism???, Mentions of alcohol consumption, cursing/swearing, biting, spitting, Reader is a slight pillow princess, UNPROTECTED SEX (plastic wrap your peenie weenies), oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, slight use of pet names... I think that's it.

Author's Note: Most of this is a BIG self-indulgence XD and that Mingi gif always get me going... AnYwAyS, This fic is NSFW!!!! If you are uncomfy, do not read! If I miss anything, please tell me. If you wanna join the taglist, send me an ask and let me know. Don't steal... all that ✨ jazz ✨ music. Drink your water and enjoy my dirty lil harlots 😉

Taglist: @shusan @woowommy @ceopjy @joongsprincess @yunhofingers

Intro and Masterlist ✨

This is the happiest day of your life. You are dolled up in a beautiful snow-white dress decorated in speckled sequins and intricate rhinestone designs.

Your makeup is simple yet glamourous with a simple natural smoky eye with a shimmer in the inner corners. There is this aural glow of happiness around you, and you genuinely feel like a princess.

You are standing in front of your handsome fiancée with your hands holding each other, who is decked out in a simple black suit with a white dress shirt accented with a deep royal blue tie and shiny black Oxfords.

Hongjoong’s friend, Maddox, recites the point in the script where the vows would be repeated by you and your soon to be husband.

The vows. A spiritual binding of words that will connect the two of you until the end of eternity… or until you two get tired of each other, whichever comes first.

As you repeat after Maddox, Mingi’s eyes glisten with tears of joy. As much as he willed himself not to, one little miscreant of a tear dared to fall. You drop one of your hands to go wipe the tear stream off of his cheek.

The guests proceed to awe in adoration. Seonghwa fans his eyes to prevent his tears from falling, while Hongjoong is sporting a runny nose and a giant crocodile tear down his cheek, clinging to Seonghwa’s shoulder.

As you listen to Mingi recite his vows, tears start to well up in your eyes. You grip Mingi’s hand a little tighter to calm yourself because your makeup is beautifully done, and you’d be damned if you let a teardrop and a dried tear stain appear on your cheek. Jae-hee would have your ass. You got through the ceremony without tears!

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” Maddox proclaims. You turn to Mingi, who now has one of the brightest smiles ever on his face, and he leaves a nice, sweet, lingering peck on your lips, still holding your hands.

“Oh, come on, you can do better than that!” Wooyoung screams out, earning himself a nice smack to the forehead from Yeosang. Wooyoung winces and rubs the spot while the guests laugh at their interaction and turn back to you when Mingi lets go of your hand and smirks.

Mingi pulls you to his chest, grabs you by the waist – pulling you close to him – and kisses you. As the kiss gets deeper, he places his hand on your cheek – steadying your head, and your hands work their way to the back of his head.

The crowd begins to root the two of you on, and Jae-hee screams out, “You guys are literally about to get a room!” You both pull away from each other and look at your husband. Mingi has a very thin layer of shimmer lip gloss on his mouth, and his cheeks and the tips of his ears are red.

A now very flustered and blushy boi Maddox quickly recollects himself from what he just witnessed and mutters, “They don’t pay me enough,” with a chuckle before he announces, loud and proud, “I-I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Song Min Gi!”

Everyone stands up from their seats and creates a round of applause as the newlywed couple leads the processional to the area where the wedding party, which is beautifully attired in soft peach pink dresses and deep royal sapphire blue accented suits, is to take pictures of one of the most important days you will never forget.

~25 minutes later~

The host has completed the introductions for the most chaotic wedding party that has ever existed, and everyone is getting to their seats in the venue.

The reception hall is absolutely stunning! The same colors of the wedding party are accented with gold. Diamonds are loosely scattered across the table, tealight candles alit floating in water vases, giving the room a soft glow in addition to the dimmed lighting.

The caterers are dressed in a clean white shirt, a black vest, and slacks. The guys have a royal blue sleeve garter, and the girls a soft peach one.

Once everyone has settled at their tables, Jae-hee and Yunho approach the front of the makeshift stage to make their toasts as Maid of Honor and Best Man.

Jae-hee grabs the microphone first, and she is already tearing up, and she is usually not one for emotion often. “Y/N, we have been friends for so long… we are practically sisters. I’ve watched you grow into a beautiful and confident woman… and even though I put you through some shit….” All of ATEEZ shakes their head and groan in agreement, and the rest of the guests laugh in response.

Jae-hee rolls her eyes and continues. “I’m so happy that you have found the love of your life and that I wasn’t the first to get married.” You roll your eyes and get up to hug her, and she meets you halfway. While in her embrace, she whispers, “I love you, baby girl,” and you respond with the same hushed tone, “I love you, too,” letting one measly tear run.

You two kiss each other’s cheek, and you return to your seat, and Jae-hee returns to the stage. She grabs Yunho’s handkerchief to dab away her tears before they fall through mascara. “Mingi, I officially welcome you into the messy integration that is our family.” Mingi chuckles and nods in response.

The mic is passed to Yunho. “Mingi, you have grown into an immaculate young man who is decorated with accomplishments and people who love you. I’m really proud of you, and I wish you two the best of luck. Y/N, I have watched you become each other’s yin and yang. You may be a bit of a handful,” you roll your eyes and chuckle. “… But we love you so much, and we welcome you into our quote – end quote ‘messy integration that is our family.’” Yunho walks over to give you a kiss on the cheek, and bro hugs Mingi.

“Cheers!” After an emotional toast from Hongjoong and Seonghwa, it was time for the party to begin, and I mean both aspects of the term. Which explains why you are now seated in a chair in the middle of the dance floor. Mingi is standing across from you with a slightly evil glint in his eye.

Hope You Do by Chris Brown blares through the speakers in the venue. You immediately cover your warm cheeks with your hands to conceal the blush and warmth there, knowing what is to come. Mingi starts to remove his suit jacket… and Yeosang, Yunho, and surprisingly, Jongho remove their coats as well.

As the trio wines and grinds on the floor behind the Groom, Mingi moves closer towards you to go and remove your garter.

When he reaches you, he does not even take the time to bunch up your dress and goes straight into hunting for the garter. His big hands rub around the top of your knees to find it.

When he does, he drops his hands to the floor to give himself leverage. He proceeds to leave a speckled trail of kisses up your leg and bites right below the garter, causing you to yelp in surprise and the crowd to holler out.

Mingi drags the garter down your leg to your ankle and removes it from your foot. At this point, there is a tension between you two that begs and pleads to be relieved.

Mingi stands to his feet, grabbing your hands to guide you straight up off the chair. You two make eye contact, and you can see the tension. “Alright young bachelorettes, come out to the floor and catch you a bouquet!” The host says in the mic, and all the women move to the floor, ready to start drinking, the actual after-party, and the real fun.

When all participants are on the floor, you pretend to throw the bouquet to keep them on edge. After a few false turns, you finally throw, and Jae-hee sprints to the front to catch it effortlessly.

“Yeahhh bitches, I’m next to get married!!!” She jumps up and down as you laugh and the other ladies leave the floor.

The host announces that it is the fellas’ turn to come out on the floor. It was not as many males as females, but there was a good amount present. Mingi played the same card as you: pretending to throw the garter until he did.

In an ironic twist of events, Jongho caught it on the top of his head like a flower crown. When he patted his head to confirm he sort of caught it, he made eye contact with Jae-hee.

They both quickly look away with a bright pink flush on their cheeks, which causes you and Mingi to laugh together. He wraps his arms across your shoulder blades and squeezes your shoulder. You look at him questioningly, and he nods to the door. You nod and grab his hand, running to the back door with your husband.

Seonghwa will have your ass for running out and leaving him and Hongjoong to clean up your mess, but that is a tomorrow problem, and you have more… pressing matters to deal with.

Mingi is flying down the street with you in the back seat to compensate room for your dress. As he tries to get to your home without getting a ticket, you untie his tie and proceed to rub down his chest, slow and meticulously popping one button after another.

Before you could decorate his neck in pretty little hickeys and love bites, the car jerks to a stop, and he power strides to your door and opens it. He grabs you in his arms bridal style out of the vehicle.

You were surprised at how easy he made that look, especially with all of the extra fluff on your dress. He carries you into the threshold with ease, kissing you as if his life depends on it.

When Mingi blindly finds your room, he puts you down on your feet, spins you around, and begins to unzip your dress. He kisses under your ear and down your neck as your dress pools around your feet. He breaks away to rest his forehead on yours.

“As much I would love to pound you into the mattress right now, I would like for our first time as a married couple to be gentle,” he breathes out. You nod your head, and he slowly turns you around to unclip the black strapless bra, allowing your breasts to drop.

He returns his mouth back to your neck and softly twists your nipple between his fingers, eliciting tingles to run all over your body. As good as the feeling was, you remove Mingi’s hand and spin around to face your husband. You walk backward until the back of your legs hit the mattress and lean back.

MIngi crawls on top of you and slowly kisses you. You can feel the passion and love through it, causing you to shiver. Mingi, once again, pulls away from you to drag your black lace panties down your legs. He throws them across the room and stands from the bed, peeling away the dress shirt you opened in the car.

The shirt drops to the floor, and he begins to unbuckle his belt, dropping it to the floor. The pants come next, along with the boxer briefs, and they pooled around his ankles. You bite your finger and lick your lips with lust-darkened eyes as you are being blessed with this private show.

Mingi returns to your V of your legs and brings your ankle to his mouth, leaving delicate kisses down the inner side of your leg until he reaches the inner thigh, where he leaves a bite – causing you to giggle and squirm a bit.

He lifts himself to where his penis grazes your labia. He rubs the tip along your slit and teases the tip inside of your core. “You ready, baby?” He sticks the reddened tip inside, just to pull it back out, and repeats this a couple times until you are a whining and moaning little mess. He finally pushes his dick past the tip and slowly moves into you, allowing you to feel every vein and ridge of his cock.

You moan in relief and very, very, VERY slight pain due to his girth, and Mingi doesn’t stop until he is at the hilt, meeting you pelvis to pelvis. He doesn’t move for a second, trying to collect himself before he busts in you from the tightness of your honey pot. You shiver as he pants in your neck, leaving goosebumps wherever his warm minty breath hits.

You grind your hips around, signaling that you have adjusted to his size, and he moans out at the action. He begins to pump inside very slowly in and out of you, with his brows scrunched and his bottom lip being bitten.

You hear the squelching noises from his slow pace. When you started getting louder, Mingi moves a bit faster, seeing that you are slowly reaching your orgasm, and frankly, so is he. “Baby, I love you so much,” he mutters like a mantra as he helps you both reach new heights.

You two have made love before, but never to this extent. After every mutter, your heart from knowing that this is the man you will spend the rest of your life with. You place your hand on the back of Mingi’s neck to kiss him, but before your lips could make contact, Mingi stops.

He licks the base of his thumb and places a firm pressure on your clitoris, and then kisses you, his tongue swirling around your own. You two are seeing specks of light under your eyelids from cumming so hard. It may not have been anything degrading, rough or intense in that sense. Still, it was absolutely beautiful joining souls with your lover.

~The Next Morning~

You wake up feeling floaty, like you are lying on a cloud. Your husband is asleep with his arm draped around your waist. As you face Mingi, his features are soft, and it looks like he is in bliss. You place your hand on his cheek and caress the apple.

When you are done admiring your husband, you carefully move his arm to his side to make breakfast. You are successful in not waking Mingi and hop out of bed, still naked from last night’s escapades. “Wow, it feels nice to say that,” you think as you grab your husband’s dress shirt and run to the bathroom to clean Mingi’s cum that has dripped down your leg.

~A few minutes later~

You are now in the kitchen, whipping up some waffle batter. The table is decorated with a nicely plated array of bacon and a bowl of freshly washed and cut fruit. You finish plugging in the waffle iron when your husband wraps his arms around your shoulders and spins you around.

He quickly lifts you on the counter. “Good morning, Mrs. Song.” He says huskily from his morning voice. You try to reply with a greeting, but Mingi catches the words in your mouth. Your lips are smashed together from Mingi’s fervency, and his long and slender fingers start to move down to your hole.

“Oh my goodness, babe. You’re so wet for me.” He teased. You moan out while he rubs your entrance, spreading your slick up and down. “You like this, don’t you?” He asks when he pushes a finger in, causing you to scream in response. “Those weren’t proper words, but I’ll take it.” He responds while adding another finger in and drastically changing his pace. You cry out due to the incredible speed. Mingi looks up at you.

Your head is tilted back, tiny pants coming from your mouth, and hands grabbing the counter as if to ground yourself. Mingi lets a drop of spit fall from his mouth and adds another finger to add more lubrication and bring you closer to climax.

You start to squirm on the counter, which is now soaked in your fluids, and whimper softly. A telltale sign that you are almost there; you just need that one little push. Mingi kneels down to be face to face with your cunt, and he stares at your dripping core as if he was hypnotized by how well you are taking his digits.

A loud moan from you knocks him out of his trance, and he adds one more finger and starts to apply suction on your button. A blinding white light flashes behind your eyelids, and a fuzzy warmth roams all over your body.

You breathe heavily from your high, and Mingi slows his speed, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. He slowly removes his fingers, causing you to whimper from overstimulation, and brings them to your mouth.

You immediately open your mouth to welcome in the appendages and begin to suck them as if your life depends on it. The spit dribbles from your mouth down your chin and along Mingi’s forearm. He gently pulls at your jaw to open your mouth and spits in your mouth.

“Swallow.” He growls, and you do not think twice about disobeying him. He returns to kiss you, mixing your natural taste with your juices and his tongue.

He pulls away, and your fucked out state is adorable: your eyes are dilated from here to Hell, saliva glistening your chin, your cheeks are heavily flushed, and your ass is drenched with your cum.

“If this is what I wake to every morning, I’m not complaining.” Mingi chuckles. “You didn’t even get to have breakfast yet.” You laughed. He looks with an eyebrow raised… “Oh, you meant actual food?” You nod your head.

“As long as I have you, I don’t think I’ll need anything else.” He cheesily says. “Yeah, sure, that’s not what your body will be saying.” You retaliate as you jump off the counter, cringing when you hear your butt peel off the corner from your juices.

Mingi laughs, grabs some paper towels to clean that. When he’s done, he washes his hands and proceeds to help you cook so you two can build the stamina to christen the rest of your home together. Well, christen is not the right word… more like fuck like rabbits until the morning light returns.

~~~~~

And there's the fic ✨ hope you enjoyed the read ✨ leave an ask and say hi or even follow me or reblog if you did

#mingissoggywaffles #ateez #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #atz smut #song mingi smut #mingi smut #ateez x reader #mingi x reader #mingi x y/n #kpop smut #song mingi x reader

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legolasbadass · 3 years

Text

A Lifetime Apart [1/3]

Artwork by the lovely @gwen-ever

Relationship: Thorin x OC

Summary: Thorin meets his One while still a young prince in Erebor, but their lives are torn apart by their families and the arrival of Smaug.

Based on Alice Tynan’s interview with Richard Armitage in ‘The Vine,’ this fic was inspired by @gwen-ever’s wonderful art for the @tolkienrsb 2021!

Warnings: Angst. Seriously guys, this is really angsty, get your tissues ready. (gwen and I are not sorry lol)

Rating: T

As always, the fic can be read on AO3.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

There is a room in Erebor, a secret place where once their love bloomed in peace. All the memories of that place, where he held her and worshipped her with his lips, were forever engraved in his mind. It was there that, after months of struggling with his feelings, he had realized she was his One.

All Dwarves know that Mahal sometimes creates two of his children from the same stone, bonding them for life. Of course, not all Dwarves marry. Even those granted this honour by their Maker do not always choose to marry, for some value friendship above all other bonds, while others devote themselves to their craft. Still, as a young boy, Thorin had hoped Mahal would deem him worthy, and every night he had dreamt of the moment he would meet his One, conjuring their likeness like an artist who paints a picture and gives it life.

He had also wondered what it would feel like to meet his One. Would he know immediately? And how would he know? Perhaps it would be like in those romance novels his sister liked so much. A tender, all-consuming look from across the room, silently reassuring the other that they had found each other at last.

Perhaps due to long hours in the council chamber, Thorin had become more of a realist as the years went on. He always had to be on his guard, and he learned quickly that he could not trust his desires, for they could be manipulated by advisors and enemies alike. Romanticism was fine for artists but not for princes. The idea of a destined love became no more than a child’s fanciful dream, and Thorin grew gradually less opposed to the concept of an arranged marriage until the thought of it did not bother him at all. After all, his parents had been married for a political alliance and had still grown to care for each other. Thorin knew he would do the same.

At least, that was what he had told himself before he met Rúna, his dear Rúna.

He did not know immediately that she was his One, but from the moment their gazes met, he knew he would never again be the same. Her presence had so bewitched him that he had not realized he was walking toward her until she stood right in front of him. Then, stumbling over his every word, he had thought himself defeated, oblivious to the fact that she felt the same indescribable pull toward him.

“Thorin, at your service,” had been his first words to her.

“Rúna, daughter of Ragni, your highness,” she had replied with a curtsy, enchanting him all the more with her melodious voice.

“I hope you are having a pleasant time, Lady Rúna.” Already, he had loved the way her name rolled off his tongue.

“More pleasant than you, at least, seeing as you have found nothing better to do than stare at me from across the room,” she had replied teasingly.

Blushing furiously, he had attempted to remain formal and composed but, ultimately, had failed miserably. “I had hoped that would go unnoticed, or at the very least, that you would humour me and pretend like nothing had transpired. And just because I was watching you does not mean I am not having a pleasant time. On the contrary, my spirits were lifted by the sight of your fairness.”

Thorin could still remember the beautiful blush that had painted her cheeks. “Forgive me,” he had said hastily. “I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I did not say I did not enjoy it,” she had replied with the most enchanting smirk.

That was how their conversations usually unfolded. Thorin, who always prided himself on being in control and always knowing what to say, would find himself barely able to think. He blamed her low-cut gowns and the redness of her lips for that.

They soon became inseparable. Every day, they would meet in their secret room, a haven where they shared stolen kisses and soft caresses. Âzyungel, she would call him, for she, too, had accepted Mahal’s will. She had accepted Thorin as hers, and in those moments, both of them had believed nothing would ever separate them, for they were destined to be together.

Deep in the caverns of his mind, a voice called out to Thorin, warning him against the intensity of his passion, but he did not listen. He found himself thinking of her at the most inappropriate times, and she haunted the nights he wished he could spend with her. When he closed his eyes, he saw her smile and heard her laughter, clearer than the soft splashing of water against limestone rocks.

What would it be like to spend his whole life with her, his Rúna?

Thorin thought with utter surety that he would soon know when they announced to their families their intent to wed. At first, everyone was overjoyed. Rúna came from a wealthy and respectable family, so the king had no objections to his grandson’s choice — not that any of that mattered to the couple. Ale and Dorwinion wine flowed freely as the news travelled through the mountain. The prince had chosen his princess.

Thorin and Rúna welcomed their families’ approval, but they secretly longed to be alone once more. When at last they found themselves in the comfort of Thorin’s chambers, they drank some more wine between languid kisses, committing the moment to memory. Fingers braided hair then caressed the skin they hastily revealed, their cheeks tainted with the soft glow of love.

That night, like their hearts forever bound, their bodies became one. Thorin was gentle, attentive to her every need, and even afterwards, he continued to bathe her in tenderness, scattering kisses all over her skin as they murmured promises of eternal love to each other, bodies entangled.

Rúna fell asleep to the soft lullaby of his heartbeat beneath her cheek, and though she never doubted for a second his sincerity and devotion, those promises were never fulfilled.

Rúna knew they should have been patient, and although she was usually very sensible, she had not known how to resist her handsome prince, especially not when his body had promised her glorious passion, now and for the rest of their lives. Besides, it was not as though premarital relations were unheard of. However, princes had to follow much stricter rules. And these rules had been carelessly ignored. And as the days went on, Rúna knew she would not have the luxury of keeping their transgression a secret, for inside her bloomed the product of her and Thorin’s love, but also the cause of their demise.

Even if it had not been for her growing belly, her morning sickness and alarmingly fluctuating moods would have given her away. And they did. She had never seen her parents so furious, and their disappointment pierced her heart. Her father shouted about her stained reputation and their ruined bloodline, leaving her in tears as she tried to scramble away in search of Thorin even as she knew it was hopeless.

She knew they would separate them.

King Thror, with the support of Thorin’s parents, banished Rúna from Erebor, never to see her beloved again. She tried to fight them, indignation festered inside her like a poisoned wound, the unattainable promise of Thorin’s love shattering her heart into a million pieces, but it was hopeless.

They did not inform Thorin of this, for it was their firm intention never to let him know about the bastard child. Instead, they told him she was bedridden while they conjured up a more permanent plan. And so, unaware that his One had been taken from him, Thorin brought flowers to Rúna’s door every day. He hated every moment he was forced to spend away from her — it felt unnatural — but he consoled himself by thinking that they would spend their whole lives together.

Then the dragon came.

Thorin had been out hunting in the woods with his siblings when a strong wind began to rattle the treetops. Then a roar like thunder split the sky, and the blood of Thorin’s veins froze when he heard a shout from afar.

“Dragon!”

Rúna.

Without so much as a glance at his companions, Thorin bolted toward the mountain, fear clogging his throat.

Refusing to believe this was real, he did not even stop when the gates loomed above him, riddled in flames, but the screams piercing his ears grounded him to the bitterness of reality. The air was wrought with the stench of burning flesh and the sorrow of a broken people. All around him, children cried in fright, and mothers wept while the distant ringing of useless steel announced their defeat.

No help came from the Elves that day, nor any day since; a betrayal Thorin never forgot. Even if there had been survivors still clawing for breath inside the mountain, they had no means to reach them.

Rúna.

Thorin searched for her everywhere, shouting her name until his lungs burned, but when the moon appeared, and she was still nowhere to be found, Thorin knew it was hopeless. Grief crashed over him like a hurricane.

He had lost her.

He wanted to tear the sky open and demand retribution from Mahal himself, but all his remaining strength he used to remain on his feet. He had to be strong for his people — what remained of them. His family had miraculously survived, but even that could not have filled the gaping hole where his heart had once beat.

Rúna, his dear Rúna. The memory of her lips against his turned to ash in his mouth. When he had last kissed her and held her, he had done so thinking he would have a lifetime to keep loving her. But she was now no more than a memory.

He forced himself not to think of that, for his people needed him now more than ever. Only once he was finally alone did he let his tears run free, and all through the night, he sobbed into his pillow, his only comfort the memories of their secret room, untouched by fire and blood. Thorin held onto those memories all through the years, never forgetting, never forgiving.

—

Khuzdul translations:

Âzyungêl: Love of Loves (used here to refer to the Dwarven belief in a single, destined soulmate)

Taglist: @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @mcchiberry @bitter-sweet-farmgirl @i-did-not-mean-to

Let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist!

#trsb21 #tolkien reverse summer bang #the hobbit #the hobbit fanfic #thorin fanfic #thorin x oc #thorin x reader #thorin x you #thorin oakenshield x oc #thorin oakenshield x reader #thorin oakenshield x you #a lifetime apart

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midnightstar-90 · 3 years

Text

Live Laugh Love ~ Pilot

Masterlist | Taglist | Request

Georgie Cooper x Reader

Summary: 9-year-old Sheldon Cooper learns that having a brilliant mind doesn't always help growing up in Texas.

Warning: None

A/N: I wrote 2,587 words! I loved being able to bring my creations to life. I hope to do more in the future.

Y/N and Georgie are in Georgie's room when Mary calls the two teens down for dinner. They head down the stairs and into the kitchen. As they sit down in their chairs, right next to each other, they hear Mary yells towards the garage, "Shelly, dinner's ready!" Mary starts serving the table as we wait for Sheldon. George yells out to Sheldon after a couple of minutes, "Sheldon! Don't make me come in there!" Y/N and Georgie sit there engaging in a hushed conversation about the movie they watched together earlier that week. Missy soon gets tired of waiting for Sheldon, and yells to Sheldon, "Sheldon, if you don't get in here, I'm gonna lick your toothbrush while you're sleeping!" Sheldon quickly responds with, "Coming" before rushing into the house to eat.

Sheldon enters the house, and he quickly sits down with the rest of his family, who are all sitting around the table. George waits for the boy to sit down before saying, "What the hell were you doing in there?" Mary calls George's name with a calm yet angry voice. George notices and responds with, "What?" Mary gets onto George for his language. "What language?" George asks Mary before turning to Sheldon, "So?" "I was having fun with dimensional kinematics", Sheldon says responding to his father. Hearing this, Y/N and Georgie look at each other and roll their eyes.

"Just at admit it, he's adopted," Georgie says to his parents after turning his attention away from his food. Sheldon turns to Georgie and says, "How could I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think monkey, Think." Y/N chuckles at Sheldon's insult towards Georgie. Georgie gives Y/N a glare. Mary breaks the fight between the boys by telling them that no one was adopted, but Y/N. Mary realizes what she says and sadly looks at Y/N. Y/N just shrugs and goes back to listening to the people she called family. Y/N was sad about the reminder of the situation that occurred when 11 years ago but didn't let the comment affect her.

"I wish I was.", Missy comments under her breath. "That can still be arranged.", Mary tells Missy before telling the family that it is time to pray. George expresses his irritation with a groan, causing Mary to give George a very stern look. Right before the family starts to pray, Sheldon puts on a pair of mittens. George groans again which makes Y/N chuckle. "Leave him be," Mary says defending her youngest son. George argues, "He can hold hands with his family, it won't kill him." "We don't know that." Sheldon says before looking at Georgie and asks, "Did you wash your hands before dinner?" "Shut up," says Georgie defensively. Y/N finally speaks up, "Hey, I have to hold his hand to pray every night, whether his hands are washed or not." Georgie glares at Y/N again, and Y/N and Missy laugh and high-five each other under the table. "I hold his hand Y/N, hence the mittens." Y/N playfully rolls her eyes at the comment. The family holds their hands together and prays.

After prayer, Sheldon takes off his mittens and starts eating with the family. Mary asked everyone at the table if they were excited to start school on Monday. Sheldon is the first to respond with an "I am". Missy then responds to Mary's question with an "I guess so". Y/N is third to respond with, "I guess. The only thing I like is hanging out with Georgie and the fact that I am in Art this year". Ever since Y/N moved into Cooper's household, Mary noticed that the one thing Y/N loved more than hanging out with Georgie was how creative she was. At church, Y/N would sing like angel. When Y/N thought Mary wasn't looking she would dance her heart out. Y/N also had a sketchbook full of really cool art and a notebook full of wonderful poems and stories. Mary knew Y/N was gonna have a successful life, and she hoped and prayed that Georgie wouldn't mess it up for her.

Georgie was not happy about starting school. "How can I be excited when he's gonna be there?!" Georgie complains. Sheldon boasts, "Don't worry, I won't be in the ninth grade for very long". George tries to help Georgie by saying, "Never mind him, you and Y/N just focus on your practice". Georgie is on the football team and Y/N is on the cheer squad. "How am I supposed to do that when he's in the same grade as me?" "Just ignore him. At least you'll have me there, except for 5th period. I have art" Y/N reassures her best friend.

"All I know is he's not in the same grade as me anymore, and I am thrilled," Missy says before getting a kick in the leg and glare from Y/N. Sheldon sarcastically says, "Good luck with your finger painting."Missy responds with, "You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school". Mary yells at Missy about her language. Sheldon says, "I'm not going to be assaulted- high school is a haven for higher learning". Y/N and George both respond with a quiet, "oh, dear God".

"Speaking of God, who's going to church with me tomorrow?" Mary asked. George says he can't make it because he has to meet with the other coaches. Mary asks if they could meet after church which George responds with a, "no, we can not meet after church". There is an awkward pause before Mary asks Georgie. Georgie tells his mother, "I have to study my playbook." before looking to his father for approval. George nods at his son, while Y/N looks down at her food with a sad expression, wishing that Georgie would have gone with them. "I have to practice my cheer performance, but I can do that after church. It would be nice to go back," Y/N tells her godmother, which puts a big smile on Mary's face and a frown on Georgie's. Sheldon also decides to go with Mary. Y/N's face grew a wide smile hearing that Sheldon was going. "Oh! Cheer practice can wait! Sheldon at church will be more fun than any cheer performance! I can just see it now. Sheldon and science versus Pastor Jeff and God." Y/N jokingly says while laughing. Missy brings the conversation back to Sheldon by asking why he's going to church when he doesn't even like church. "No, but I believe in mom," Sheldon said putting a big smile on Mary's face.

When Mary asked Missy if she was going, Missy tried to get out of it, but as I said she tried. "Son of a bitch.", Missy says under her breath. Mary flicks Missy's head and Georgie laughs. George smacks Georgie's head and Y/N laughs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N's Pov

Mary, Sheldon, Missy, and I were all in our church clothing, sitting in a pew. The church was full. Everyone except for Sheldon sang Onward Christian Soldiers. Sheldon whispers something to Mary, that I couldn't hear.

Pastor Jeff starts the sermon and Sheldon is still asking Mary questions. "Do you have evil thoughts?" Sheldon whispers to his mother. Mary shh's him but he still keeps going, "I just don't think this part applies to me". "That's fine, be quiet and listen," Sheldon says something else about puberty, causing an older woman to turn towards the boy and his mother. When the woman turns back toward the Pastor, Sheldon asked Missy and me if we had evil thoughts. I respond with a "Not really" but Missy said the opposite, " I'm having one right now". When Sheldon asks what it was, Missy said that she was going to kick him where the sun doesn't shine when we got home. Sheldon tells missy that his balls haven't dropped yet and then asked his mom when his balls would drop. The older lady turns back towards the family and Mary threatens the woman.

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We get back from church and Sheldon instantly goes for the student handbook. I pass Mary and Sheldon to go change. I go into Georgie's room after I change. Georgie is in his normal wear, a t-shirt, and jeans, reading his 'Sports Illustrated' magazine. "You know you have no chance with any of those girls in that magazine, right", I say leaning against Georgie's door frame. Georgie instantly looks up at me and says, "You look good. Maybe more than those girls in my magazine." I'm wearing a black jean skirt, with a nirvana shirt tucked in and a black and white striped long sleeve shirt under it.

Georgie and I laugh at his comment and walk over to his bed. "So, how was church?" Georgie asked while going back to reading his magazine. "It was ok. Your mom almost beat up an old lady for calling Sheldon weird, after he talked about his balls dropping. Other than that, it was like any regular church day." I tell Georgie. "So!", Getting Georgie's attention, "How was your playbook?" I ask Georgie knowing he was lying. Georgie looks at me then back at his magazine. "You know that was not the main reason I didn't go to church. I'm not as invested in church as much as you are, so don't give me that look." Georgie says knowing I was going to get onto him for lying to his mother. I dropped that conversation, and we went downstairs to watch tv and talk.

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When I get downstairs, I see George and Georgie talking, so I walk over to them. On my way there, Mary stops me and asked me if I've to saw Sheldon's bowtie. I shake my head no and continue walking. When I get to the table where the boys are talking, they are talking about football. Mary comes up and asks if the boys have seen Sheldon's bowtie. George tells Mary, "Leave it alone Mary, he doesn't need a damn bowtie." Mary argues back, "It's his first day of school, let him wear what he wants." Sheldon yells down the stairs that he still can't find his bowtie. "Oh dear lord, why's he gotta wear a bowtie?" Mary says walking away.

"Can Y/N and I ride in with you", Georgie asked his father. I sit there eating my breakfast quietly, before looking up when hearing my name. George contemplates the situation, then says "sure". "Everybody's gonna know he's your brother. You can't hide. It's gonna be awful for you." I didn't even know Missy was at the table before she said something. "Tell her to shut up." Georgie defensively tells his father. Georgie tells his son, "She's not wrong" earning a light slap on the arm from me. George mumbles sorry and goes back to his coffee.

We're all eating when Mary storms into the kitchen. "George Junior, give me back that bowtie right now!" She yells. "I didn't take it!" "Don't you lie to me!" "I'm not lying!" "We'll see about that!" The pair go back and forth. When Mary walks back upstairs, he yells for his mother to stay out of his room. Missy smiles and says, "She's gonna find your dirty magazines." "Shut up." "You are not having a good day." I shake my head at Georgie, agreeing with Missy.

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Georgie and I are sitting in homeroom when we see Sheldon walk in. Sheldon calls out, "My father's a football coach, my adoptive sister's a cheerleader, and my brother's a football player!" When Sheldon sees us he yells out, "Oh, 2/3 of them are over there! Hi, Y/N! Hi, Georgie!" Georgie and I put our heads down in embarrassment.

Ms. Macelroy introduces herself and the class. She makes a joke about having some of our family members in her class, which causes a few students to chuckle. She introduces Sheldon and Sheldon raises his hand. When the teacher calls on Sheldon, we hear Sheldon tell Ms. Macelroy who is breaking the dress code. Georgie and I sink in our chair lower and lower as Sheldon keeps talking. She dismisses Sheldon, but he puts his hand up again. Sheldon tells his teacher that she is also breaking the dress code because she has a mustache. Georgie and I sink as low as we can in our chair while the rest of the class laughs.

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Georgie and I are on the football field but on opposite sides. I am with the cheerleaders practicing my moves, and Georgie is with the football players practicing blocking drills. I knew Georgie was having a hard time with starting school with his younger brother, so I kept my eye on him. When I see the fight between him and Albert Stinson, I excuse myself from my squad and follow Georgie to the boy's locker room.

I walk in to see Georgie angrily tearing off his equipment. When he accidentally throws something at me, I quickly dodge it. "You know, if you threw like that on the football field this year, we would win playoffs for sure," I say jokingly getting Georgies attention. "What are you doing here? This is the boy's locker room." "I don't care if the whole team was in here naked, I would do anything to help my best friend when he is down." Georgie sits down next to me. George is watching the whole thing play out. "Do you remember when I was 5, and I missed my parents so much that I had that tantrum?" Georgie nods his head. "You were there for me when I needed you, now it's my time. I've seen how upset Sheldon going to school with us has made you. You have held in your emotions for too long. I know you get jealous when Sheldon gets special treatment. I want you to know that you are not the only one. Missy and I feel that way sometimes, but I have you. I don't need anyone to but you to make me feel special. I guess what I am saying is..." Georgie looks up at me, and I take Georgie into a side hug, "When you feel emotional don't take it out on your team. You have me. Talk to me. We are always together and I don't want to see you tear your life apart over something stupid like going to school with Sheldon."

George comes from behind the locker and tells me to go back to practice. I let go of Georgie and give him a sad look before doing as George instructed.

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We get home, and George stops me at the door. "Thanks. You stopped your practice to help out Georgie. I appreciate that.", George tells Y/N sincerely. "Georgie is my best friend. Now, if he managed to hit me, that conversation would have gone a whole other direction." I say jokingly. George chuckles and lets me go.

I go up to Georgie's room. Georgie looked like he was in a better mood. I went in and talked with Georgie until time for dinner.

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Narrator's Pov

The whole family gathers around the table to eat, but first, pray. When it's time to pray Sheldon surprisingly doesn't wear one of his gloves. No surprise when it wasn't the hand Georgie held.

Later that night everyone was sleeping peacefully, except for Y/N who would find laying right next to Georgie, like they have been for the past 11 years when someone was upset.

#montana jordan #georgie cooper #sheldon cooper #missy cooper #mary cooper #george cooper #meemaw #big bang theory #young sheldon #fanfic #x reader #connie tucker #georgie cooper x reader #wattpad

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butterflies-dragons · 3 years

Note

I don't think antis know about meaning of 'willowy'. When Jon said that Val is a warrior princess not a willowy creature brushing her hair, willowy is not an insult. It means tall, slender and graceful. And Sansa qualifies as willowy brushing her and like knights. It seems like Jon throwing shade on Sansa, but why? Considering he liked her brushing Lady hair and he himself wanted to be knight. Why he subtly remember Sansa while differentiating her with Val?

This is what I wrote about Val and the willowy creature line a while ago:

Val

Repeat after me: Val is not a warrior woman. Again: Val is not a warrior woman. One more time: Val is not a warrior woman. If you don’t believe me, then read this:

However, in my own defense, I should note that Dalla was not a “warrior woman” per se. She was from a warrior culture, yes; one that gave women the right, but not the obligation, to be fighters. Ygritte was a warrior woman, as was (most conspicuously) the fearsome Harma Dogshead. Dalla and Val were not.

[Source]

But you may say, ¿What about the “the warrior princess and the willowy creature that only brushes her hair” quote?

Well, as GRRM has stated many times, all his POVS are “Unreliable Narrators”. Being from a “warrior culture” doesn’t make you automatically a “warrior woman”. But here is Jon Snow “deciding” that Val was a “warrior princess”. Once again, the contrast, the dichotomy in one single person: ¿A warrior like Arya, a princess like Sansa? Not that Arya has ever fought in a war, but you get my point. And Sansa was created following the princess archetype.

I will show you one of my favorite Jon’s passages that will serve us to read “the warrior princess and the willowy creature that only brushes her hair” line with a better and more revealing light:

I call this passage the “Jon -It’s nothing special- Snow”. Or as we say in Spanish when we can’t get what we really want: “Al cabo que ni quería”, that can be translated as “I didn’t even want it anyway”. Let’s see:

"Oh, I learn things everywhere I go.” The little man gestured up at the Wall with a gnarled black walking stick. “As I was saying … why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what’s on the other side?” He cocked his head and looked at Jon with his curious mismatched eyes. “You do want to know what’s on the other side, don’t you?”

“It’s nothing special,” Jon said. He wanted to ride with Benjen Stark on his rangings, deep into the mysteries of the haunted forest, wanted to fight Mance Rayder’s wildlings and ward the realm against the Others, but it was better not to speak of the things you wanted. “The rangers say it’s just woods and mountains and frozen lakes, with lots of snow and ice.”

—A Game of Thrones - Jon III

I mean… COME ON! This is one of the most telling passages to know, to really know Jon’s true nature, and it’s very, very similar to the quote about “the warrior princess and the willowy creature that only brushes her hair”:

They are all convinced she is a princess. Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XI

“Some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.” Nah, it’s nothing special, I didn’t even want it anyway, not for me, no.

Do I have to say more???

Actually, yes, I have.

Jon Snow does really want a lady. Jon Snow does really want to be a knight and rescue a maiden. Jon Snow does really want a lady to love and be loved back by her. Here some evidence:

Jon Snow wished that his mother were a highborn lady: “Not my mother, Jon thought stubbornly. He knew nothing of his mother; Eddard Stark would not talk of her. Yet he dreamed of her at times, so often that he could almost see her face. In his dreams, she was beautiful, and highborn, and her eyes were kind.”

Jon Snow wanted to be a hero like the Prince Aemon Dragonknight. The same Prince Aemon that jousted in a tourney, won it, and crowned his sister and lady love “Queen of Love and Beauty”, something that is straight out from the courtly love book: “The Dragonknight once won a tourney as the Knight of Tears, so he could name his sister the queen of love and beauty in place of the king’s mistress”.

Jon Snow tried to comfort Gilly with courtesy: “Gilly, he called me. For the gillyflower.” “That’s pretty.” He remembered Sansa telling him once that he should say that whenever a lady told him her name. He could not help the girl, but perhaps the courtesy would please her”.

Jon Snow put Ghost between Ygritte and him and remembers that knights put their swords between their ladies and themselves, something that is straight out from the courtly love book: “After that he had taken to using Ghost to keep her away. Old Nan used to tell stories about knights and their ladies who would sleep in a single bed with a blade between them for honor’s sake, but he thought this must be the first time where a direwolf took the place of the sword”.

Jon Snow imagined romancing Ygritte as if she were a lady: “If I could show her Winterfell … give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us”.

Jon Snow wished for a domestic life in Winterfell, with his wife and children: I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. […] I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister’s son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly’s boy as well. […] Mance’s son and Craster’s would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb. He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily”.

Jon is a romantic that called his mare “sweet lady”.

Jon Snow closer friends in the Night’s Watch are Samwell Tarly and satin, they are literally male!Sansas.

Jon remembers fondly Sansa’s more feminine and ladylike traits: her romantic nature, her courtesies, her singing.

It’s also worth to mention that, despite Val’s beauty and physical attractiveness, Jon Snow, once again, appreciates her being maternal and singing to Gilly’s son, but was turned off by Val saying she would kill Princess Shireen:

“I have heard you singing to him.”

“I was singing to myself. Am I to blame if he listens?” A faint smile brushed her lips. “It makes him laugh. Oh, very well. He is a sweet little monster.”

“Monster?”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon VIII

Once outside and well away from the queen’s men, Val gave vent to her wroth. “You lied about her beard. That one has more hair on her chin than I have between my legs. And the daughter … her face …”

“Greyscale.”

“The grey death is what we call it.”

“It is not always mortal in children.”

“North of the Wall it is. Hemlock is a sure cure, but a pillow or a blade will work as well. If I had given birth to that poor child, I would have given her the gift of mercy long ago.”

This was a Val that Jon had never seen before. “Princess Shireen is the queen’s only child.”

“I pity both of them. The child is not clean.”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XI

Wait a minute! Val was “singing to herself” like Jon’s memory of Sansa “singing to herself” while brushing out Lady’s coat???

Where did Jon get this idea of “some willowy creature that only brushes her hair” from??? It could be from his half sister Sansa, a literal princess, now trapped in a tower, that always brushed her hair and even brushed out her direwolf’s fur???

“She had brushed out her long auburn hair until it shone” —Sansa

“Her thick auburn hair had been brushed until it shone.” —Eddard

I often sent away her maid so I could brush her hair myself. —Catelyn

He thought […] Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself. —Jon

And I also suspect that when Jon said this about Val:

Then Ghost emerged from between two trees, with Val beside him.

They look as though they belong together. Val was clad all in white; white woolen breeches tucked into high boots of bleached white leather, white bearskin cloak pinned at the shoulder with a carved weirwood face, white tunic with bone fastenings. Her breath was white as well … but her eyes were blue, her long braid the color of dark honey, her cheeks flushed red from the cold. It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XI

He was remembering another pretty girl, princess like, next to a direwolf, looking as though they belong together.

A young beautiful girl, that everyone considers a princess, next to a direwolf???

Val is a beautiful young woman, Sansa is a beautiful young maiden.

Val has long blonde hair the color of dark honey which she wears in a braid. Val actually take care of her hair, enough to braid it, like Sansa that always brushes it. And if you google “dark honey” hair color you will find a variety of reddish brown (auburn) and reddish blonde hair colors.

Val has high sharp cheekbones, like Sansa.

Val’s eyes are pale grey or blue. Again the grey/blue eyes pattern…

Val is slender with a full bosom, like Sansa.

So?

Then Ghost emerged from between two trees, with Val beside him. […] It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself.

Think about it!

* * *

For anyone interested, this is an excerpt from this post.

#anon asks #jonsa

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