#the number of hours i work a week on my normal schedule is good

[eats-the-stars]

pleased that my new workplace passed a test i have called: can i take off on this day I was scheduled to work?

answer was yes, which sounds like “of course they would say yes that day is like 2 weeks out” but the thing is, it was not immediately followed by “as long as you can find someone to cover your shift.”

however, this day IS part of the weekly shift I agreed to cover during the holiday season, so it is NOT part of my normal shift schedule, and technically qualifies as an extra day. so...this is just, like, test part 1. still happy my workplace passed, though

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Secret Secret Chapter 4

OT8 Straykids x reader, ABO AU

Masterlist | Next Part

The rest of the week passed by surprisingly easily. You got around to meeting everybody else on the team, and you did your best to remember their names (thankfully most of them were older than you, which allowed you to easily pull the Oppa or Unnie card when you forgot). They were all kind and helpful, and at the worst indifferent to your presence, which allowed you to make it through the week fairly easily.

You were busy with promotional translations and working out the translation for a few videos that would be dropping the next week, so you saw little of the others as you spent most of your time on your computer. Even so, you managed to find some free time to meet up on Friday with Maya, who was swamped with picking out and modifying all the MV outfits that were scheduled for the end of the month.

When she plopped onto her chair with a sigh, you could only give her a sympathetic look. “Hey, you sure you have the time to have coffee with me?”

“I need a break. Believe me, this caffeine hit is the only thing keeping me going right now.”

“Looking forwards to the weekend?” You asked, knowing that she got Saturday and Sunday off.

“Hmm, I’m definitely going to enjoy my weekend,” Maya confirmed, sipping her coffee. “My girlfriend’s birthday is on Sunday, so we’re planning a small party to celebrate. What about you?”

“I think I’m just going to relax at home.”

You still had to come in on Saturday for a quick meeting to confirm the projects you had worked on that week before they were posted, but it would only be for an hour or two, which left the rest of the weekend free. Normally you and Sooyoung would go out, but you weren’t really feeling it, especially after what happened last week.

Maya lifted her head and gave you a soft smile. “Do you want to come to the party?”

“What time is it?”

“We’re planning for noon. A nice little lunch and then just a hang out afterwards. It’s just going to be me and my girlfriend, a few friends, and some coworkers,” Maya said.

You nodded in understanding. “I’ll probably stop by for a bit. Just send me the address.”

Both of you realized the issues immediately after you spoke, and she was pulling out her phone before you could even say you didn’t have her number out loud. The two of you exchanged numbers and had a comfortable conversation for a few minutes to finish your drinks. Your lunch officially ended when Maya received a text. She scowled.

You shared a knowing look. “Duty calls.”

-0-0-

The company building was practically empty this early on a Saturday morning. On the one hand you were mad at having to be awake so early on the weekend, but on the other hand you appreciated them getting this out of the way so you would have the rest of the afternoon free. The guard nodded in greeting to you as you passed to the elevators, and you smiled in return.

The meeting passed by pretty quickly, all things considered. Soojin, Jeonhui, and the head advertisement manager all joined you, along with a couple of other employees, and you went over the promotional material. You felt a little nervous when presenting your work, but nothing seemed out of place, and they quickly moved on to the next person with little to no words.

Maybe somebody else would have been offended by the way they seemed to look past you, but you took comfort in the indifference, knowing that it was the lack of attention that allowed you to be where you were now.

The meeting was over just as the clock struck 11, and Jeonhui wished you a good weekend as you were leaving. A few of the other employees lingered behind to talk with each other, but you weren’t close or comfortable enough to any of them to join them. You just wanted to go home.

The elevator reeked when you opened it.

The smell of spoiled milk and rotten strawberries hit you, and you immediately clamped a hand over your nose. Disappointment, anger, fear. Your omega was immediately on guard, and you felt like your heart had dropped down to your stomach.

“Ugh, what is that scent?”

“Is that … an omega?”

The other employees who had been behind you walked over, and even when the elevator doors closed once again, the air still lingered with the smell of an omega in distress. It made your hackles rise, and you felt the need to find that omega and comfort them, while another part of you wanted to run. An omega in distress usually meant danger.

You swallowed hard.

The female employee wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Gross. What’s an omega even doing in the building to begin with?”

“Probably one of the trainees. They like to come around and practice on weekdays, as if the extra effort changes the fact that they’re an omega’s.” The male employee said, waving his hand in front of his nose. “Disgusting.”

“That’s omegas for you. Think they deserve the world just because they’re so dainty and fragile. Ugh, I can’t stand them. Why does the company even allow omegas to audition anymore?”

“I don’t think they do. Must have just presented.”

“Let’s just take the stairs. I’ll get a cleaner to sterilize the elevator.”

The two employees walked away, either ignorant of or completely unaware of your rapidly changing mood. Their words echoed in your head, and you found your eyes welling up with tears, not self-consciously, but in anger. Anger at the way they talked so callously about another person, most likely a child.

They way they so nonchalantly and openly admitted the prejudice against omegas in the work force. And the way that neither one of them even thought for a second to go looking for that poor omega in need of help.

You weren’t like them.

You took the elevator, stopping on every floor you had access to and sniffing the air from the hallways. One of the upper floors, where the practice rooms could be found, had a lingering scent, but it was faint, which told you the omega had probably come from there.

You then checked the office floors below them, but they were surprisingly empty. Finally, you found yourself on a floor that you had yet to see, but the second the doors opened you knew it was the right one.

It was the studio floor, which held recording studios as well as production studios.

And it reeked.

The scent in the elevator had already begun to dissipate, so the strong smell was a good sign that the omega was still in the area. Why a trainee would be on the studio floor was beyond your knowledge, but you were on a mission. Your own omega snapped her jaws at the thought of the harsh cruel words from your fellow colleagues.

Gross.

Disgusting.

I can’t stand them.

You knew even if you had been a beta those words would have been offensive to you, and the fact that they said it so easily made your skin boil. You were grateful for your own scent blockers because there was no way they wouldn’t have noticed your soured mood otherwise.

You followed the smell past the entrance area, which had a small kitchen area where coffee and snacks were available, for those who didn’t want to go all the way down to the cafeteria. Or, part of you considered, for those who stayed late enough that the cafeteria would be closed. You thought of Chan, the way the other staff members warned you to keep an eye on him.

‘He’s a workaholic,’ One translator had mentioned in passing. ��It’s admirable, if not a little stupid.’

Thinking of the alpha made your chest ache.

It felt almost fitting that the farther down the hall you went, in the opposite direction from the recording studios and instead towards a series of locked and labeled doors, when you realized where exactly the scent was leading you. Nearly at the end of the hall, you found a door labeled ‘3racha’.

The door was closed, but the scent told you there was someone inside.

You felt most of your anger dissipating.

On the one hand, you found yourself almost relieved. If there was anybody that you had gotten to know in this past week that you would trust with a distressed omega, it was Chan. He had 2 omegas on his team. He was a comforting figure. And above all else, he was a good man. You trusted him to have the situation handled, and to provide the compassion necessary for the situation.

But on the other hand, your omega refused to leave without making sure that the other was okay. It was survival mentality, the need to stick together, especially in a world like this that would so easily shove the weak and underappreciated away.

But checking in on the other omega would mean having to confront Chan, and you weren’t ready to have to deal with him just yet. You couldn’t look him in the eye without your omega’s want bubbling up, and this close to the surface, you wouldn’t be able to suppress it.

You didn’t really get to make your decision before the door opened, and you startled, legs tensing as you considered running.

A young girl who couldn’t be older than 15 nearly smacked right into you, and she quickly raised her wide-eyed gaze to meet with your own, mouth opening in shock and her scent hitting you with a burst of surprise. Strawberries and milk, sweet and pleasant despite the worry that it conveyed.

“Oh, I- Sorry!” She bowed so low that her hair flipped over her head, the strands hitting you in the face. And then she realized what had happened, lifting her head up with a gasp. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to- are you okay?”

You raised your hands to show her you meant no harm.

“Hey, it’s okay, no need to apologize.” You eyed her tear-stained cheeks. “Are you okay?”

She dropped her gaze. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

You wanted to pull her into a hug. You had to remind yourself she didn’t know you, and that would be weird.

‘It wouldn’t be weird if she knew you were an omega’ your own omega grumbled in your head.

You ignored her.

“You should go home, Jisoo. Your parents will get worried,” A voice said from behind the girl, and your eyes snapped up. “Don’t worry about today. Everything will be okay.”

“Thank you, Oppa.” Jisoo gave you a weary look, but bowed to you nonetheless. “Have a nice day, Unnie.”

“Get home safe,” You answered back, and her shoulders relaxed slightly.

You both watched Jisoo make her way down the hall, the newly presented omega now calmer and safe. Your omega settled at the confirmation, and you felt your energy level drop, prompting you to press your hand against your forehead and close your eyes to let out a huge sigh.

“You know, I think you’re the last person I expected to find on this floor,” Changbin mused.

When you opened your eyes, you saw the beta watching you with a curious look, and you winced. Now that you had calmed down and everything was okay, you realized your behavior might have seemed erratic and confusing to anyone who wasn’t aware of your true presentation. Which Changbin was not.

You suddenly wished that it had been Chan inside the studio instead.

“There was a distressed scent in the elevators, and I … was worried,” You explained, trying to make yourself sound nonchalant. “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

He pushed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, eyes drifting from your figure to the wall behind you. “Well, it’s a pretty shitty situation, I can’t lie.”

“I heard the company isn’t allowing omega trainee’s anymore.”

“Yeah, they made the decision last year.” Changbin shook his head. “She’s devastated. I calmed her down, told her I would try to figure something out, but ….”

He trailed off, a frown pulling at his mouth. You couldn’t smell him, his sweater doing a good job of hiding most of his scent from you, but you could tell just by his body language that he was angry. You felt a sense of reassurance at that.

Maybe Chan wasn’t the only best option for this situation.

“Are you two close?” You wondered, thinking about the direct path Jisoo had made from the practice rooms. “She headed straight here once she realized what was going on.”

“Were not particularly close, but Chan has told the trainees multiple times that if they ever need anything, they can come to us for help. I just happened to be the one here today.”

You nodded. “They look up to you guys, don’t they?”

“I think all trainee’s look up to idols,” Changbin said, running his hand through his hair. “I kind of wish Chan had been here instead. Or maybe even Jisung. I’m not sure how much I helped her.”

“I think you did a good job. She didn’t smell distressed anymore,” You reassured him.

Changbin’s eyebrows twitched down for a second, even as he nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

You both stood there in silence for a few seconds. Eventually, you sighed again.

“Well, I guess I should get going. Umm, I guess have a good weekend,” You said.

“You too.”

When you got to the end of the hall, right before turning the corner, you glanced back. Changbin was still standing at the doorway, watching you with a thoughtful look on his face.

-0-0-

Maya’s girlfriend, Isa, was an amazing cook, and judging by the gleeful look on her face as everyone practically devoured the food, you had a feeling she knew. You practically moaned the moment you took your first bite. A beta you assumed was one of her friends melted in his seat, and then jokingly asked Isa for her hand in marriage.

“You’ll have to fight me for it,” Maya joked.

“Don’t tempt me.”

You giggled, and Isa leaned over her side of the table to smile at you. “How’s the food?”

“I’m normally not the type of person to encourage the birthday girl cooking her own meals, but hot damn. I can see why they put you in charge of the cooking,” You praised.

Isa beamed. “Exactly! That, and Maya burns water.”

“It was one time!”

The rest of the table laughed loudly, and Maya rolled her eyes. The other guests began to converse between themselves, and Isa eyed you with a small smile.

“So, you’re the new translator,” She began, and you paused with your fork an inch from your mouth. You nodded. “How’s it going? Maya tells me you joined at an inconvenient time, what with the tour starting up soon.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Oh? She told you about that?”

“I’m her girlfriend, she tells me everything,” Isa said nonchalantly.

“Everything?”

Isa grinned, leaning closer. “Everything. Maya’s nice and quiet and gets her job done, so sometimes people are very loose lipped when around her. You’d be surprised by the amount of drama that goes on in that fancy building of yours that nobody every hears about.”

“Oh? Like what”

She simply winked. “I’ll tell you later.”

Later turned out to be while you were washing dishes, a task you decided to take up to get away from the room full of alpha pheromones. You knew they weren’t doing it on purpose, since they were under the impression you were a beta and had no way of knowing about your sensitive omega nose, but it was still enough for you to get overwhelmed.

Isa eyed the kitchen door where Maya was with the other guests, and then she was leaning in close to you as she passed by. “Two of the stylists are hooking up.”

“What?!” You nearly dropped the plate you were holding.

“JYP tried to get one of his nephews into the company, but he bombed his audition so badly that he couldn’t even use nepotism to save it.”

You let out a sharp noise of surprise. “Oh my god, Maya really does tell you everything.”

“Yup.” Isa smirked. “Want to hear more?”

“I’m not sure I should,” you protested, but after a moment of her just staring at you knowingly, you broke out into a smile. “Oh, who am I kidding. Tell me everything!”

“Well, I’m not quite sure about this one, because it’s more recent, but apparently one of the idols is having a lovers spat with another one of his members.”

You blinked in surprise. “That’s definitely news to me.”

“Yeah. She was complaining about how the recent photoshoot had to be delayed an extra hour because Felix refused to be in the same room as Chan.”

“Wait, Felix and Chan are the ones fighting?”

Isa paused. “Oh, yeah. I forgot you were working with them. Don’t let Maya know I told you anything, it’s supposed to be kept hush hush.”

“Right. I won’t say anything,” You promised.

-0-0-

“Why are you and Felix fighting?”

The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. In your defense, you would have said anything in that moment, if just to end the awkward silence that had fallen over you and Chan when the two of you found yourselves alone in the meeting room.

You hadn’t intended to be alone with him. You weren’t even supposed to be in the meeting room in the first place. You had been passing by after dropping off some papers that Jeonhui had asked for, and just happened to almost get hit by a door as it opened, with Felix storming out. You both paused and stared at each other for a second in surprise.

“Oh, hey.”

Your eyes darted towards the open door, where you could see a dejected Chan standing with his hands on his hips. “Hey.”

Felix gave you a strained smile as he passed you by, and you watched him go for a second before you entered the meeting room yourself. Chan only lifted his head a fraction as you walked in. You closed the door behind you, and the two of you lingered in that awkward silence before you finally decided to break it in the most stupid way possible. You knew the question was out of line the second it was out of your mouth.

Why had you even walked into the room to begin with? Why hadn’t you just walked away?

Chan finally lifted his head completely, and you froze at the sight of his eyes.

They were red.

“Shit.“

Your hand reached blindly behind you for the door handle, but before you could grab it Chan was suddenly at your side, hand gripping your wrist tightly. Your breath caught in your throat, the sudden bitter scent of his alpha hitting you in the face.

He swallowed hard. “Don’t go.”

“I don’t think I should even be here,” You admitted, but you allowed him to pull your arm back in front of you anyways. “Chan, your alpha-“

“I know,” He whispered, closing his eyes. “It’s okay, I’m not … I can’t stand watching another omega walk away from me right now. Just … stay.”

With his alpha so close to the surface, you found it hard to refuse. While you could have just stood there, allowing him a moment to come down from his headspace on his own, there was something so painful about watching Chan battle with his own emotions and instincts. It was an impulsive decision, much like the choice to walk into the meeting room, much like the need to say something.

You grabbed his hand, the same one still holding you, and brought it up to your lips. With a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist, Chan let out a shudder, and he easily allowed you to pull him closer until his face was pressed against your neck.

While your omega scent was still covered with the artificial scent of beta, it would have to do. You softly allowed him to scent you, and it only took a few minutes before Chan came back to himself with a sharp inhale.

He pulled away from you so quickly he stumbled on his feet. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” You reassured him, licking your lips. “You needed some grounding.”

“Fuck.” He ran his hand down his face.

You gave him a sympathetic smile. “That bad, huh?”

“Felix is really mad this time. I think I fucked up,” He said.

“Mind me asking what happened?” Chan was silent, and you took a hint. “Right, none of my business then.”

“No, it’s definitely your business.”

You paused from where you had started to turn back to the door. “Sorry?”

“Felix is mad because of the omega I slept with last week. You.”

“What?”

“He wants to meet you.”

“What?”

Chan let out a sigh, and he pulled out a chair to sit down. After a moment of consideration, he offered one of the chairs for you, and you were quick to take it since it felt like your legs were seconds away from giving out on you. The more he talked, the more dizzy you felt.

“Explain,” You said, staring Chan down.

“Felix knows I slept with an omega last week. I let it slip that I was still in contact with you, accidentally, and now he thinks that I might be having a serious relationship with you- well, the omega. He wants to meet you, and when I told him he couldn’t, he got upset. He thinks that … he thinks I might be trying to replace him.”

“That’s ridiculous,” You said with a scowl.

“I know. I thought it was just a petty little argument, but he … I think he actually believes it. He got so upset, yelled that me not wanting him to meet the other omega was suspicious and that if it wasn’t serious I would have just said that, and I obviously can’t explain it-“

“Because of me.”

“Because it’s complicated,” Chan corrected, rubbing his face again. “This isn’t on you, sweetheart. This is my problem.”

You scoffed. “Are you kidding me? Your omega is mad at you because of me, Chan. He thinks you’re replacing him with me. And if you told him the truth, none of this would be an issue.”

“If he thought it was just a one-night stand, then this wouldn’t be a problem anyways. I’m the one who fucked up here,” Chan argued.

“Why would he even think it was more than that anyways?” You wondered.

Chan froze.

You found yourself letting out a small laugh as he just stared at you with wide eyes, not wanting to believe the first thought that ran through your head. But the second thought, and then the third, all felt less convincing. Your smile dropped pretty quickly.

“Chan. Why would Felix think it was more than a one-night stand?”

He ran his fingers through his hair, then down his face, and then he shot to his feet to turn away from you completely. You shook your head in disbelief.

“You can’t be serious,” You breathed.

“This was before I knew you were a part of the company. I told him the morning after, before the meeting, and I obviously didn’t have the chance to explain what happened.”

“Jesus, Chan! You were planning on courting me?”

“Yes, I was.”

“Fuck.” You slumped back in your seat. “Why didn’t you just tell him I rejected you or something?”

“He would know I was lying. I wouldn’t have had time to ‘meet up’ with you this past week because we’ve been busy, and if he thought I did after he asked to meet you, he would have been even more pissed at me for ignoring him.” Chan explained. “It’s just … I thought I’d have time to come up with something, but it’s been a very stressful week.”

“Fuck,” you repeated.

Chan turned back around, giving you a tired look. “Yeah, fuck.”

He shook his head, and with his hands on his hips, he began to pace the length of the meeting room. You glanced a look at the clock and realized that you needed to get back to your desk before someone noticed how long you had been gone. You needed to finish your work for the day. You needed to leave the room and hope that nobody caught you here with Chan. What you needed to do was clear.

But you couldn’t think about any of that. You could only think about the strained smile on Felix’s face as he passed you by, the havoc that Chan had to have gone through for his alpha to take over, the fact that their relationship was being strained because of you. You closed your eyes, but you could still hear the footsteps as Chan paced.

“Tell him.”

The footsteps paused, and you opened your eyes to give Chan an even look.

He didn’t turn around. “What was that?”

“Felix,” You clarified, letting out a soft sigh. “Tell him the truth.”

Chan spun around with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“I’m not letting your pack relationships fall apart because of my choices.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

You tilted your head to the side. “Do you trust Felix?”

“With my life,” he said with no hesitation.

“Then so do I.”

The two of you stared each other down. Your head still felt fuzzy, but your chest no longer felt like there was a weight holding you down. You pulled yourself up from the seat, and only took a second to gain your composure.

You gave him a nod. “Well, I got to get back to work. I’ll see you later.”

“Wait, that’s it?”

You didn’t bother answering him, instead making your way towards the elevators with an urgency that only grew the further you got from him. The dizziness had gone away, and as the reality of the situation started to dawn on you, so did your clarity. Being that close to Chan, letting him scent you with his alpha so close to the surface, had been a terrible decision. Your body felt hot, and you were grateful for your scent blockers.

Today was chalking up to be a horrible day.

You were going into pre-heat.

[tommi3boy]

“I think you’re breathtaking to look at“| {SDV Harvey x GN! reader}

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

Pairing: Harvey x gn! Farmer

A/N: no name used, established relationship but not dating, slow burn confession

Summary: Harvey sees how sunburnt you’ve gotten and asks that you take a few days off from being in the sun. While you spend the day indoors, Harvey visits you and y’all do some Zumba together.

Like clockwork, you could find a handsome doctor at Gunther’s library every Saturday. This is the day of the week when you would normally come by and donate some of the relics you found to the libraries museum. Seeing Harvey outside the clinic was somehow refreshing, so you found yourself (un)intentionally picking up on his schedule. This Saturday was no different; Harvey was standing in the nonfiction section of the library, flipping through a hardcover book. He’s normally more relaxed and approachable at this time, so you went to greet him. “What’s a handsome fella like yourself doing with their face in a book?” The question slightly startled Harvey, his shoulders relaxed when he realized it was just you. “Hello to you too farmer” a soft smile suited Harvey’s face after realizing you called him handsome. However, that expression of his slowly dissipated once he studied your appearance more closely. “Your burnt to a crisp farmer! The summer UV’s are no joke, have you not been using proper sun protection?”

This interaction didn’t go how you planned, Harvey ended up lecturing you about the importance of sunscreen and said to take a few days break away from direct sunlight.

-

Because you respect Harvey’s judgement you’re now lathered in aloe vera, spending the day in your cabin. There was still daily upkeep needed on the farm so you got up before the sunrise; your poor chickens didn’t enjoy their beauty sleep being interrupted.

You were so used to running around all day with stuff lined up to do, that a break from it took you off guard. Almost like the feeling of being on edge, needing a way to stimulate that same routine of yours. This lend to you rummaging through your grandpas few belonging left in the cabin; you ended up finding an old phone book with numbers of the townsfolk. Most of the numbers were outdated; many of the names you didn’t recognize. But Evelyn and George’s home phone was scribbled out, as well as the Mayors. Unless the landlines in the townsfolk’s homes were disconnected, you bet you could eventually contact someone in the valley by going down the list on the old phone book.

-

Ring . Ring . Ring

“Hello? This is Pelican Town’s clinic, how may I help you?”

“Harvey! wow this thing really works, you’re one of the only people in town that still have their landline connected.”

“Farmer? Why are you calling the clinic, are you alright?”

“I’ve been screwed around with this phone all morning, I thought maybe it didn’t work because I wasn’t getting through to anyone but then I managed to get you on the line.”

“Sounds like an eventful morning, I’ve kept the line connected for my older clients, it tends to be easier for them to contact me with it.”

You felt like you were in an old 80s rom-com listening to Harvey speak on the phone. You imagined him leaned back in that old office chair behind the clinics counter. Was he excited to hear from you? He doesn’t sound very busy but that doesn’t mean he wants to sit and chat’ you thought to yourself.

“Alright, well I was just seeing if the phone worked, I’ll let you get back to work doctor.”

“O-, there’s not much work to be done actually, might close a little early today. How’s your sunburn? I have a good cream for burns if you need any.”

“It’s fine, I’m sure in a few days it’ll start to peel and I’ll get a fresh new layer of skin. I could use like, melatonin or something though; this lack of activity is making me all jittery.”

“Hm, well I wouldn’t recommend melatonin unless you exhibited sleep issues. Let’s see,, I normally get off in about 2 hours, but if you’d like I can do an at home visit and help you relieve some of that energy?”

Get your mind out of the gutter. This is a nice man trying to help you out, a very attractive one at that. If it wasn’t Harvey saying it you’d think that sort of offer was flirting. All your flirtatious efforts in the past directed at Harvey seem to go in one ear and out the other; he just doesn’t seem interested in that way.

“sure I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

“Alright then, let me close up the clinic and I’ll be over shortly.”

Your skin feels sort of tingly now, maybe it’s just from the sunburn.

-

Harvey arrived at your doorstep roughly 30 minutes later. He had changed from his work clothes into a more casual t-shirt and sweats; and was carrying a small tote bag. You noticed he was flushed in the face after walking all the way to your farm. When you invited him in, he pulled out an iPod and a small speaker from his bag and said “l thought you might be interested in doing a bit of Zumba with me.” ‘So that’s what he meant when he said he could help.’ It’s endearing how a few months ago he was practically begging you not to tell anyone he attends Caroline’s aerobic class, and is now asking you to do Zumba with him.

-

Once he set up the speaker, he shortly briefed you on doing either 1. You can copy him, or 2. Just make up your own groove. He then got an 80’s dance playlist on shuffle. Donna Summer’s ‘I Feel Love’ started playing, the small speaker was surprisingly loud. Harvey seemed to really be in the zone while he was trying to find his rhythm. Mostly light foot work at first, like he was warming his way up the body, then some shoulder shimmies; soon he seemed to be fully immersed in the upbeat music. It was honestly adorable that he felt comfortable enough to do this with you. You wanted to make sure that Harvey wasn’t the only dork in the room, so you quickly found your rhythm and started doing your own little thing. Out of all the people in town, you’d only let Harvey see this is side of you; by no means were you a good dancer. You didn’t feel judged in the slightest letting off some steam with him.

After 3 songs played and a lot of groofing off, you felt surprisingly winded, you hadn’t realize Zumba was this much of a workout. Once the 3rd song finished, you took a break and sat on the floor. Harvey quickly joined you trying to catch his own breath.

“God I didn’t know zumba was such a workout, that wiped me out quick”

You and Harvey laughed at the state both of you were in.

“It’s definitely more taxing than it looks, I could barely get through 1 song when I was starting out”

Harvey told you he had started going to Caroline’s classes roughly the same time you moved in to the valley.

“Were you trying to get in shape since a hot new face had moved in?” You were joking but the comment had Harvey turning his head away from you. You saw his ear turn red. The moment of silence was awkward since Harvey didn’t laugh at your flirtatious joke like he normally would.

“In all honesty, I think that might be true. When you moved in I felt more motivated to do things that would better myself. Looking back at it I wanted to catch your attention but I was never very up front about that kind of thing. I made it seem like I was solely doing it for health reasons.”

This response came as a shock to you, Harvey never really opened up to you like this. Internally cursing yourself for joking like that, you wanted the joke to be true but now that it is you’re at a loss for words. Harvey was patiently waiting for a response.

“If anyone else in this town had brought an iPod to my cabin and asked me to do Zumba with them, I’d say HELL no. You’re the only person in town I’d do this with.”

“, I’m glad to hear that farmer”

“You should try and be more up front with me about these kinds of things, I mean, I call you The Handsome Doctor like every other day”

“I can never tell if that’s a joke or not, if anything, your the one who should try and be more up front”

“I feel like calling you attractive is pretty up front”

“Alright well, I think you’re breathtaking to look at, even when you’re extremely sunburnt, so much so that I often have to not look at you or I lose my train of thought.”

You don’t know if you can handle up front Harvey. What are you supposed to say to that confession.

“You better watch out cuz you’re going to end up seeing this face a lot more now that you’ve said that” Your response sounded more like threatening than you wanted it to, why couldn’t you have said something sweet’ you thought.

“I’d love to see you more often farmer, I’m glad I got that off my chest.”

-

Harvey packed up his iPod and speaker shortly after that eventful conversation. The Zumba did in fact help your nerves, or maybe it was Harvey’s presence that put you at ease. You thanked Harvey for helping you, and he said “Let me know if you ever need a dance partner again, oh and here-”

Harvey handed you a bottle of sunscreen.

[wedgiestoriescollective]

The Senior: Years Later

Hello all! Before I start the next story in my “The Senior” series, I wanted to share that since I began writing, uploading, and reuploading these stories on here some things have changed. While I have been sharing my experiences with wedgies on here, these stories thus far have been about my experiences with them as a child and teenager. This didn’t initially bother me because I was sharing and, in a way, reliving these memories through my writing. But it bothers me now. 

Had my experiences with Chase concluded while we were both underage, I would have just stopped writing these stories all together. Yet this is not the case. So, this next part (and the final part following that) will take place four years after the previous story. When we were both consenting adults. I hope you enjoy,

                 

I was sitting at home alone. Well, I was sitting alone in the house where I grew up. I was visiting my parents during a short summer break from the musical theater conservatory I was attending. I hadn’t been home in over ten months. The conservatory went by a unique school schedule, so the week I was home didn’t coincide well with my parent’s work. As both are teachers, they still had school. It was nice being away from my classes, rehearsals, and at my part-time work in Times Square retail. So, things were busy. I was on the couch, a bag of pretzels in my lap as I watched some current popular TV show. My phone vibrated.

“Hey”, the text read.

I immediately recognized the phone number. I had deleted his contact multiple times. I even blocked the number once. Yet, those numbers were as familiar as his name.

“Hey”, I text back.

I pause the TV, redirecting my attention to my phone. I pushed the bag of pretzels aside. The text bubbles (a new IOS feature at the time) visualized three dots, Chase writing a response.

“I saw you were in town. How have you been? Chase texted.

At this time, it had been years since we had communicated with each other. And even longer since we’d last seen each other. Last time I had seen him, I was a Junior, and he was in town on Spring Break from his college in Colorado. We’d met up at my place and almost gotten caught by my parents. We quickly averted detection by sneaking out through the garage, but the stress of the moment gave me pause. Had me so scared of being discovered as anything other than “appropriate” or “normal” that I had (again) cut Chase out of my life.

“I am in town, I’ve been pretty good” I type on my phone, before deleting it.  

“Yeah, it’s been chill”.

I send the text and quickly place my phone face down as far away on the couch from me as I can reach. The phone immediately vibrates, but I force myself to remain still. The similar pattern presenting itself. He texts, I reply, he texts, I reply. Then minutes go by with nothing. Those minutes used to torture me, even when sometimes those minutes turned to hours, or the rest of the night. I promised myself I wouldn’t obsess over this again. That I was better than this. I remained still for just over five minutes before gently reaching over to my phone.

“Give any wedgies in the big apple yet?” Chase texted.

He skipped passed the unnecessary formalities. I hadn’t wedgied any guys in NYC at that point. There wasn’t any time, and I had my own revelations I was working through. Within a month of living in NYC, I had come to understand and accept that I was so far in the closet that I found Christmas presents. I had started trying things on in my new “out” life. Mostly through chats on dating apps or…. well, that’s all I did. I was out to my classmates at school, but back home I slipped back into the guy I was before I moved to NYC. Chase had been out for years by this point.

“I haven’t, too busy! Lol =(“ I reply.

“I have been thinking about the one’s you’d give me.” Chase texts.

“Really?” I reply.

“Yeah, it was hot”. Chase replies.

I politely ignored the fact that I was sporting blushed cheeks. Also, my hard on. I was ignoring that too. My phone vibrated.

“Wanna come over? I can pick you up.”

I looked at the phone in disbelief. After all that we’d been through. The shame that I felt and sometimes still have. The times that we’d avoid each other at all costs. Here he was again, offering to pick me up. To spend time with him. To wedgie him. It’s as if the closeted, hidden high school version of myself peeled away. I stood up and hopped in the shower, but not before typing and sending my response.

“Sure, you know where I live.”

When I opened Chase’s front car door, he looks at me and it was simultaneously as if time hadn’t past while there were also apparent timely differences. Both of us now sported stubble, mine being closer to a beard. Yet, he still had that stupid plush dice dangling from his windshield. We chatted. I don’t remember about what. It was small talk, but I do remember there was a moment when he said something along the lines of “maybe you can’t do that, but you can give a good wedgie”. I remember how my hard on never subsided while sitting in his car. It’s funny what remains of your memories over time.

Chase pulls into the garage of his house. I had never been here before. He gets out of the car and nonchalantly enters his home, knowing I’d follow. There was a black lab that excitedly greeted me. I followed Chase into his room, and he closed the door behind him.

Chase’s room was the standard expected room of a teenager. Sports posters on the wall. His bass on a stand in the corner. A pile of clothes scattered on the floor. Chase noticed me looking at the pile.

“Find any underwear in there?” Chase asked.

“A couple” I reply.

Chase walks up to the front of his bed, taking off his grey zip-up and then tossing it on the ground. He stares at me a for a second as I stare back at him. He’s wearing a slim fitted light grey t-shirt and jeans. Chase then turns around, his back now facing me. I remember feeling awkward standing in that silence. Like I didn’t know how to fill it. We used to have so much to talk about. There were still things that should be said. Yet, I remained silent, lost in where to start.

“Do it” Chase said quietly. Almost as if through an exhale of breath.

His words snapped me out of my haze as if we were in high school flirting in our distant way. Our words and jokes that were just between us. Because no one, not even each other could ever know our true desire for the other. Except, we weren’t in high school anymore, and both of us since then had come out to our close friends, but more importantly to ourselves. That layer of shame was no longer relevant nor present. Nothing was stopping me.

“Do what?” I teasingly ask, taking a couple steps closer to him.

“Give me a wedgie. Please” and then he said my name. I don’t know why, but I found that hot. I was now directly behind him. It was again as if time hadn’t passed. Like I’d done plenty of times before, I lifted his shirt and fingered my way through the waistband of his jeans which also donned a brown leather belt. Once my fingers obstructively found the underwear, I made the waistband of them visible with a gentle tug. The underwear’s black waistband donned the word Hanes stitched multiple times in skinny white letters. The fabric underneath the waistband was dark grey.

I looked forward and clocked my own eyes in the reflection of the full body mirror to the right of Chase’s nightstand. I then locked eyes with Chase who was also staring at me through the mirror. It was like old times. I sharply tugged on the Hanes waistband and Chase arched his head and groaned as simultaneously the leg holes of the underwear came in full display above his jean’s waistband. That was new.

“I was curious” Chase said smirking slightly at me as I had him up on toes as held his underwear up in my grasp. Then I lift upward on my toes almost lifting Chase off the ground by his light grey briefs. My cock is at full attention now, obviously visible through the front of my black joggers. As I continue tugging at Chase’s underwear, on the occasion tug the bulge would briefly drag or rest on Chase’s ass. He knew where I was at.

I continue tugging, alternating between slow gradual pulls and quick pulsating tugs. On each pull, Chase varied his sound responses. Some were groans, quick exhales, and my personal favorite the occasional “ooh” or “ahh”. I got the grey briefs all the way up to his neck at the highest but I would then mess around with this wedgie by snapping the briefs against his back multiple times. I would also tug while pushing him forward only then to pull him back towards me, inching the underwear further in his butt. I at this point have never wedgied Chase in briefs. This made it exciting and new in a way I couldn’t begin to explain at the time, but thinking back on it I was likely excited by the arousal of it all.

The grey briefs were bunched, leg holes and all were above his jeans. I reach my hands in front of Chase, gently moving my hands towards his belt buckle. I slowly start navigating the belt buckle loose and I unbutton his jeans. I then abruptly pants Chase, leaving his wedgied ass full on display. Chase turns his head back towards me, smirking.

“Having fun?” He asks as he slowly pulls his briefs out of his ass and back into place.

I then lifted Chase toward me by his hips, so that his neck was right up against my face. I kiss his neck. Chase moans. I kiss his neck again, but this time as Chase moans I kiss him on the lips. Our first kiss. This right here was all I had ever wanted. His lips on mine.  He didn’t pull away. He turned around wrapping his arms around my shoulder as we continued kissing. His tongue quickly made its way into my mouth, and mine in his. I don’t remember gripping his waistband as we continued kissing, but when I opened my eyes for the first time as Chase was kissing my neck, I saw myself through Chase’s mirror, with his grey briefs lodged up his ass so hard that besides the fabric in my grasp there was no indication Chase was even wearing underwear. It was lodged that far up his perfect round ass. I tugged again sharply with my right hand while my left hand pulled Chase’s head back by his hair.

For a moment, we both simply stared at each other. No longer seeing the scared kids we were years before, but instead seeing ourselves as the men that we are. Men that are kind, yet long for another man’s attention, lust, maybe even love. Yet, in that moment we just remained present. In our own kinky way.

The kissing and the wedgies continued. I even let him briefly tug my blue Jockey boxer briefs softly up my butt, but he remained eager for his flossing. The only thing keeping me from ripping his briefs clean off him was the continued kissing, it was proving to be a weakness of mine. Over the next couple of minutes, Chase kissed his way down my body. From my lips to my neck, to my nipples, and further down my stomach. Chase was on his knees now, alternating between looking at my throbbing bulge and up at me. He looked so beautiful looking up at me, as if I could solve all his life’s problems. Chase slowly then lowered my black joggers off me while still looking at me. Pre cum was already staining the front of my blue boxer briefs as Chase lowered those too. This wasn’t his first time seeing my cock. Back in our high school days we dared each other to hold the others cock in the car for a minute. But this was certainly different. Especially because this time Chase was licking the pre cum off the tip of my cock before putting the rest of it in his mouth.

I audibly moaned as my cock was blown for the first time, overwhelmed by the sensation of it. The newness of it. The excitement of it. All of it felt like a lock was finally clicking open. My whole body recoiled when Chase took a moment to merely tickle my cock with small kisses. He’d told me he was hooking up quite a lot in college in the text exchanges we shared when we chatted briefly after he came out. Back when I was still so scared to accept that part of myself. Before I ghosted him.

“I always thought that you had a hot cock” Chase said looking at me.

I looked down at him, feeling aristocratic as I noticed his grey briefs still lodged up his ass. Chase went back at my cock again; except this time, I cupped the back of his head with my left hand, gently pushing his head inward so my entire cock could face fuck its way down his throat. My other hand between thrusts reached down Chase’s back to grip the grey briefs. As I alternated between thrusting my body forward and pulling on the underwear, I felt closer to myself. As if I was about to descend on the first drop on a roller coaster. I felt drops of sweat trickle off my chin. I looked down then, only seeing Chase’s brown hair and his briefs gripped in my hand halfway up his back, lodged up his ass.

It was then when I remembered the time he yelled at me after we got caught by a police officer. We were rubbing each other’s cocks in an empty parking lot with sunshades over the window of Chase’s car. How scared we both were. How we reacted differently. And then, how when I was a Junior in high school when I saw he had posted a picture on Instagram with a guy. A boyfriend. How betrayed I felt. How exposed that post made me feel. But also, how lonely it made him feel as well.

I gently let go of Chase’s briefs and removed myself from his mouth, pretending like I heard my phone vibrate. I made up something about my mom wondering where I was and that she needed me home. Chase understood, we dressed, and he drove me home. When we got back to my house, there were no other cars in the driveway.

“She wanted me to be ready to go by 4”. I said, trying to talk my way out of the lie.

Chase seemed like he understood, but I must give him more credit. It’s possible that Chase knew I was lying. Still, before I could get out of the car he stopped me. Gently his hand clasped into mine. Again, something new. He leaned in and he kissed me gently. For a moment, I succumbed to it. The desire and lust I still very much had from the past hour’s activities. Tongues touched. He still grasped my hand. And then as if I teleported, I was locking my front door, and he was driving away.

I ran to the bathroom, stripped off my clothes, and stepped in the shower where I preceded to go into my usual, comfortable, one-man routine of pleasing myself. I came within minutes recounting it all. Moaning at full volume as I came. My cum, shooting towards the top of the screen door in the shower, before then slowly trickling downward. As the hot water continued running down my hair and body, I felt both euphoric and lonely. Hoping that the phone would vibrate with a text from Chase saying he came or that he wanted to meet up again. Yet, I sat alone under the running water knowing that it wouldn’t.

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 3

Eminem x Reader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Marshall and Y/N decide to celebrate a sobriety milestone but bad news get in the way.

Tag : -

A few weeks went by and you slowly started to adapt to what you could call your new normal. You were getting used to living with your friends and started working on your doctoral dissertation again, while going to meetings and making it to therapy. Every so often, you’d be invited to hang out in the studio with Talia and the boys and spend a couple of hours with them. However, most of your time was devoted to uni work so you didn’t hang out with them too much. In fact, today would be the first day you’d see them in a couple of weeks. If you were honest, you were particularly excited to see Marshall. The two of you had crossed path a number of times since you went on that drive and you always had a good time when you were with him. At that point, it was safe to say you had developed a harmless crush on him. Nothing major, but you did particularly enjoy looking at him and you were always happy to hug him hello and goodbye. You knew he would never be interested in you, so you simply decided to enjoy the sensation of feeling good in his presence.

The night after the two of you went on a drive, Talia had been grilling you with questions, but there was not much to say. The two of you had not talked about it but you were pretty sure she knew about your crush. She knew you too well anyway. Whatever, it was harmless, although she did make sure to always have you sit next to Marshall whenever she had the chance.

That day, you were happy for three reasons : first, it was Friday, which meant you would enjoy the weekend and some much needed rest from uni. Secondly, you were celebrating two months being sober. It hadn’t been without its trials, but you had made it so far and were extremely proud. Finally, you got to see Marshall. You were all smiles when you pushed the door to the studio and greeted everyone.

- Y/N, we have been waiting for you like you have no idea ! Jamal said.

- Oh really ? You asked in disbelief. Is that because you produce your best work whenever I’m around ? You asked with a smirk.

- Kind of, he answered jokingly. But it’s mostly because Marshall has been in a bad mood all day, which usually doesn’t happen when you’re around. So whatever it is, please work your magic and make our life bearable again, I beg of you, he added as he fell to his knees for good measure, in a very dramatic and theatrical way.

- Speaking of the devil, where is he ?

No one had time to answer your question, as Marshall came in the room, looking unnerved and slamming the door behind him. You looked at Talia, whose look confirmed that he was indeed in a bad mood. Everyone was silent.

- Now can we please give it a couple more tries and get that right ? Marshall asked exasperated.

- We’ve been working on that song for hours and nothing good came out, someone pointed out. How about we circle back to that later ?

- No, Marshall said coldly. We can get that thing to sound right and we will.

- Stubborn much ? Jamal asked jokingly before Marshall shot him a death glare.

You didn’t know if Marshall had seen you there or not but you weren’t sure as to whether or not greeting him was a good idea. You just sat next to Talia and stared at your phone as you were trying to finish reading a paper. You didn’t pay much attention to your surroundings before you heard Marshall slamming his head against the mixing desk.

- Fuck. He said. We’re already behind on schedule. This album is going to be my last, I swear. If it ever even gets done.

- You already said that for the last one, Paul pointed out jokingly.

- Yeah well you know what ? I’m soon to turn fifty-two. I’m too old for that shit anyways, Marshall replied.

- Come on, dude. We have our good luck charm here today, Jamal said pointing at you.

You smiled shyly at Marshall, who seemed to ease a little.

- Hey there, he said before getting up to properly greet you. Sorry I didn’t say hi before. That was rude.

- It’s ok, you said as you hugged him. So… last album before you become an accountant ? You know, you could ask my dad for pointers, you said jokingly.

Marshall laughed and kissed your cheek.

- Ok, maybe I was being a bit dramatic and maybe it won’t be the last one, he said with a laugh.

Jamal looked at the two of you in disbelief, yet smiling.

- So he’s been an ass all day, and now that Y/N has been here for ten minutes, he’s laughing ?

Everyone laughed and Marshall raised his middle finger.

- Now that you’re in a better mood, can we PLEASE take a cigarette break ? Someone asked.

- Fine, Marshall said rolling his eyes, as most people left the room and he went back to his seat, scribbling in this notebook.

After a moment of silence, you decided to talk.

- I have News, you said.

- Good or bad ? He asked without looking up.

- Well, you tell me, you said with a smile, proudly showing your newly-earned sobriety chip.

He greeted you with a smile and pulled you in for a hug.

- I’m proud of you, he said before kissing you on the forehead, making you blush. We should celebrate.

- Really ? How so ?

- Dinner ? He offered.

- That sounds good, you said. How about you come tomorrow night ? I’ll cook !

- I’m intrigued, he said. So you’re beautiful, smart AND you can cook ?

- I would also showcase my dancing abilities, but you’d be too jealous, you joked, trying to distract yourself from the fact that he called you beautiful.

The two of you shared a laugh but were interrupted by people coming back from their break. They resumed the work and, thankfully for everyone, Marshall ended up being pleased by one of the versions they recorded.

The next day, you decided to go shopping for your celebration dinner. You decided to cook some French recipe. « Whatever you want, unless it’s frogs or snails » Talia had told you. A while ago, you may or may not have tried to get your friends to taste snails, which ended up in a complete disaster. You were excited to cook and were in a good mood when you arrived to the store. You quickly grabbed the items you needed but the joy left your body when you reached the register and saw Simon - your Simon - kissing a beautiful woman as they were grabbing a few items. He seemed happy as ever. You could not help but stare at them and wonder for how long they’d been together. Something about their demeanour made it feel like they’d been a couple for ages. As you lowered your gaze, in hope they wouldn’t notice you, Simon called your name.

- Y/N ?

- Simon. Hi, you said.

- You look… well, he pointed out.

- I am, thank you, you replied. How are you ?

- Good. Kind of busy.

- I figured, you couldn’t help but say, quickly staring at the beautiful lady he was with.

- I meant with work.

- Oh. Right. Well I’d love to chat but I have to go. Have a good one.

You paid and quickly left the store. For some reason, you felt humiliated, even though Simon had every right to date whoever he liked. After all, you hadn’t been together for nearly three months. Plus, Simon was the very définition of perfection : handsome, polite, successful. Looking back, it was kind of obvious he wouldn’t have trouble finding someone else. And it wasn’t exactly like he made a promise to wait for you either.

Even though you tried your best not to cry on the way home, you sniffled as you walked through the door.

- Baby, are you alright ? Talia asked.

- I saw Simon, today. Kissing someone.

As soon as the words left your lips, tears started to stream down your cheeks.

- Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry ! She said before giving you a much needed hug.

- I know it’s silly but some part of me thought that… I’d get better and we’d get back together and… and…

- I know. I thought you guys were endgame too, she said sheepishly.

She held you for a while as you sobbed.

- Let’s focus on the positive, honey ! Let’s celebrate those two months of you getting better. I’ll help you cook, she offered.

- Do you mind if we reschedule ? You asked. I don’t feel like celebrating. Or cooking. Or eating, for that matter.

- Are you sure, baby ? Marshall should be here soon. I promise we’ll have a good night, just the four of us, she tried.

- Yeah… can you call him and tell him I’m sorry ? I think I should go to my room and rest for a bit.

You apologised once again and left the items on the kitchen counter before going to your room. You changed into some sweatpants and a tank top and laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It dawned on you that Simon and you were truly over. Even though you tried thinking of something else, you couldn’t help but seeing him with that girl. She was truly beautiful. Probably more deserving of him, too. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing from your eyes. It felt like a fountain. Deep down, you knew it was your fault. You were the one who screwed up. He was the perfect match for you, you screwed up and now, you’d probably end up alone.

You heard a knock on the door.

- I’m fine, Talia, you said while wiping away your tears.

- It’s not Talia, you heard Marshall’s voice say. Can I come in ?

Marshall ? What was he doing here ? You quickly got up and opened the door.

- Hey, you said. I’m sorry, I told Talia to cancel for tonight. I’m feeling a bit under the weather…

- She told me about your ex, he said. But she thought we should do something to get your mind off things. Come here.

He pulled you in for a hug. He grabbed your face in his hands and wiped your tears with his thumbs.

- I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone’s face so swollen after crying, he said with a smile.

- I know, I’m an ugly cryer, you replied.

- Everyone’s ugly when they cry, he pointed out.

- No, that’s not true. Some people manage to stay hot even when they cry.

- Well I’ve never seen that, he said as he shook his head.

- I’m sure Ms. Perfection over there is still beautiful when she cries, you mumbled.

- Who ? Marshall asked, looking confused.

- The girl Simon was kissing. You should have seen her, Marshall. So beautiful. Tall. And blonde. And skinny. And perfect for him in every way. The opposite of me.

You rolled your eyes at the thought of her.

- As beautiful as she may be, I’m sure she can’t compete with you, Marshall said.

- You haven’t seen her, you pointed out.

- I don’t need to, he shrugged.

He was just being nice and you knew it full well. Still, the compliments made you feel a bit better.

- Why don’t you join Talia and Jamal ? Let me just put on something other than sweats and I’ll start cooking.

- I thought you wanted to cancel dinner ? He asked, looking confused.

- Yeah, but Talia still made you come all this way, so I might as well feed you.

- That’s awfully nice of you, he said with a grin.

- Nice of you to come, you said with a shy smile.

- Anything for you, Y/N, he replied with a serious tone. You can call me and I’ll be there.

- Good thing I don’t have your number, you said with a smile. You’d never live in peace otherwise.

- Let’s correct that, shall we ?

He grabbed your phone and entered his number in it.

- Now you can call me, he said. Anytime.

- Thanks, Marshall.

You gave him a shy smile and immediately rang him so he’d have your number too.

- I can help you cooking if you want, he offered. But I should warn you : I’m not too good at it.

- You’re a grown man and you can’t cook ? You asked in disbelief.

- Well I guess I can prepare food. I even worked as a short-order cook, a long time ago. I wouldn’t call that cooking though. Neither would my kids, he said with a grin.

- I’ll teach you a thing or two, then. Let me just get dressed.

- Why ? He asked. We’re staying in. You don’t have to make an effort for me.

You shrugged and headed to the kitchen with him. Truth was, you didn’t want Marshall to think of you as sloppy. Even though he did not really seem to care.

When you entered the kitchen, you found Jamal and Talia hugging and kissing like teenagers.

- You guys are too cute. I can’t handle that right now, you said.

- Yeah, please don’t rub your happiness in our single faces, Marshall pleaded.

- Sorry guys, I’m too in love with this gorgeous lady, Jamal said.

Both you and Marshall pretended to puke. The four of you laughed and started cooking together while listening to music. You tried teaching them how to prepare some traditional French chicken dish. It was a simple one but you hadn’t exactly been given the most attentive students. Marshall was desperately trying to cut the vegetables correctly (nearly destroying them in the process), while Talia and Jamal kept on making out like teenagers. You ended up preparing the dish by yourself. It wasn’t perfect but the group deemed it to be good enough.

- Don’t worry Y/N. If you keep cooking like that, we’ll find you a husband soon enough, Jamal complimented.

- JAMAL ! Talia shouted.

- Sorry. Wrong timing, he apologised. You know what I mean.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Jamal was really sweet and you knew he meant well.

- it’s good to hear you laugh, Talia said as she grabbed your hand.

- Thanks for being here, guys, you replied. My day sucked but you make it better.

- Anytime, Marshall said.

The four of you kept the conversation going but were soon disturbed by the door buzzing. Talia went to answer.

- Hey Talia. Is Y/N here ? I’d like to speak to her, you heard an all too familiar voice say.

- Simon ? You asked as your heart started racing. What are you doing here ?

[v3nusxsky]

would you be interested in writing an emily prentiss x fem or gn reader fic? something along the lines of domesticity in the morning (getting kids ready for school, breakfast etc.) or if you’d like, emily and partner visiting the BAU with their newborn child and their other little cuties. i just have this reoccurring dream about this absolute fluff every night 😩🫶

The Dream

*Authors note~ first attempt at some fluff for this stunning lady <3 oc children Matthew and Delilah are mine*

Trigger warning~  fluff? Fem reader

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

It wasn't uncommon for you to awake in the morning to her side of the bed empty, after all her hours at work were certainly unpredictable. Emily always made sure to leave you a little note somewhere for you to find. A little tradition she started when you moved in. One that you loved very much. Normally you'd be heading into work with her, both of you working at the BAU only your job being desk work only. That being said you were extremely close to Penelope Garcia.

Your alarm rang out through the room as you grumbled shuffling to shut it off, your post pregnancy belly no where near as big as you were pre birth but still taking some adjusting to. You'd given birth two weeks ago, Emily had two weeks home from the FBI to be with you and your little family. Your son Matthew being only four years old really enjoyed his mama being home, you knew the cases were tough on him sometimes and alongside getting a sibling it was only natural you worried. But he adjusted perfectly to his baby sister and those glorious two weeks seemed to flyby. Today would be your first day without Emily, Matthew had school and you were still adjusting to your daughter's schedule, yet you were confident you could manage.

As if on cue Matthew made his way to your room, small little knocks sounded before her peeped his little head round the doorway. "Momma?" He whispered and you couldn't help but admire just how much he looked like your wife. "Hey buddy, wanna come up for a minute?" You offered and he immediately joined you in bed to snuggle, your usual routine. Delilah your newborn wailed out in hunger and you knew your morning snuggles would be over, Matthew was such a good big brother wiling to help with care for Delilah instantly. You did everything for her, she was fed and changed before you placed her in the rocking chair in your living room.

Delilah settled you made Matthew some breakfast and got him into his uniform, how had your baby grown so much? Once he was settled, dressed, teeth brushed, shoes and coat on you put the television on for him and checked on his sister before somehow managing to get yourself ready for the day. What was an even bigger win was you managed to snag a banana for breakfast before needing to leave. Challenge number two would be getting both children in the car and hopefully keeping Delilah asleep.

With both children secured in the car and the house locked up you double checked you had everything you needed. Only when you were sure you left to take Matthew to school. Delilah sat in the carrier on your chest as you walked him into his class and placed a kiss into his raven curls. Ever the sweetheart he placed a sweet kiss on your cheek and his sister before running off to find his friends. So far so good. Your daughter still remained asleep on your chest as you made you way back to the car to put her in her car seat. Your phone dinged as you finished buckling her in, triple checking it was completely safe before coming round to settle in your seat.

    Garcia🧸

Hey love, do you fancy bringing my little god daughter in to the office? It's a slow day and truthfully miss grouchy is  missing you both. Don't tell her I said that! But we would all love to see you. Love you Y/n❤️

You knew you had enough of everything to make the trip and sent off a quick reply informing Garcia to keep your arrival quiet before turning to Coe at your sleeping daughter, "shall we go see mama and the family sweet girl? They all can't wait to meet you." You knew she was a two week old infant so a reply was never coming but for some reason talking to her soothed you as you put the car into drive.

You hadn't seen the team since you left for maternity leave, they wanted to be present after the birth but unfortunately serial killers don't always have the best timing. So you stopped by the usual cafe and picked up the usual routine, some treats for the team, before heading over to the BAU. As you arrived your daughter began to stir so you made sure to soothe all her needs, knowing the team would all want to hold her. Only when she was fed changed and swaddled in her fluffy lavender blanket and wearing her matching little hat did you make your way to find Garcia cradling your daughter and carrying the bag of goodies.

After a quick hug from your friend she was instantly cooing over the sleeping infant that you cradled in your arms. It didn’t take long for the other team members to spot you in the briefing room and come to investigate, happy words and smiles exchanged as each came to get a peak at your daughter. The last person to join you was your wife, you could tell by the way she walked she wasn’t happy, but that all melted away the moment she laid eyes on you and her daughter. “Darling?” She exclaimed coming to hug you from an angle and whispering, “I missed you.” The hug was carful and it allowed Emily to look at the sleeping baby in your arms, a finger tracing over her chubby cheeks.

You handed her over to your wife in order to give out the goodies while the others observed how gentle Emily became. Your daughter waking with the now full room causing Emily to bring her up to her shoulder and stroke her back, talking to her as if there was no one else present, “hey little love bug, I missed you sweet girl you being good for momma? Oh it’s okay lilah these are all your aunts and uncles little one. They all love you so much.” You smiled at the sight and nudged JJ whispering, “I know this is crazy but seeing that makes me want another” causing her to laugh and wonder if you even remembered the pain of birth while Garcia wrapped you in a hug and whispered, “make as many of them as you want Y/n, as long as Emily stays like that and I can love on them.” Here and now watching Emily tend to your daughter, being surrounded by your work colleagues who were practically family, knowing you’d go home to Matthew and your wife, life was perfect.

Word count 1192

[unreleasedwrites]

Bike Riding

“Hold onto me tight, that way you’ll be less scared.”

summary: Your boyfriend offers to pick you up from your workplace. Sure, this wouldn’t be the first time he’s done this, yet you cant help but be quite surprised whenever you receive a text or two from his number just a quarter till your shift is over, offering you a ride home or to his place. Knowing both of your busy schedules, the both of you tend to spend a lot of time apart from one another, so upon seeing his text pop up into your phone notifications, you happily accepted. Usually, you’d see him parking his car upfront, just around 5 minutes away from the end of your shift. But today was a little different.

character(s) included: Jonggun Park x fem!reader

cw: SLIGHTLY suggestive, Gun being pretty soft towards reader, a curse word or two, Gun and reader have been dating for a while, use of y/n, pet names, backpacking iykwim, the 1st part is more on first person pov but it switches to second person pov once gun arrives, this whole thing is surprisingly and unintentionally long, there are a few linked words you should click to get a better understanding of whats going on, and this is the first ever fic ive written 👍👍

unwrapped on: Tuesday Evening, July 18 2023

wrapped up on: Thursday Afternoon, July 20 2023

published on: Thursday Afternoon, July 20 2023 (at around 4 PM)

“Alright, would you like some napkins with your order, Sir?”

I kindly asked the customer standing in front of our pickup counter as i carefully secured the two frappuccinos he ordered in a beverage carrier then put it in our signature paper bag along with two straws and his receipt.

“Oh uh, no thanks, but you have a good night!” He replied as he grabbed the paper bag.

“Alright then, You have a good night too, Sir.” I said with the sweet smile i usually give the customers.

He smiled back at me right before he walked out of the store.

Taking a quick look at my watch, I realized its 8:27 pm. Theres about an hour till closing time. I give one of the baristas a heads-up before i leave my station to do some cleaning.

Before I got to cleaning, i turned the “We Are Open!” sign to its other side in order to signify that we’re closing up for the day. Normally, I would wait until there are only around fifteen to twenty minutes left, but the store was filled to the brim, and it’d be hard to accommodate any more customers. For as long as I can remember, its always been this way whenever its Friday, considering its the second busiest day of the week for us.

I’m tidying up some of the empty tables, while the remaining three employees of today are shuffling from working the register to making drinks, and serving orders.

*bzz bzz* Despite my phone being in my pocket, I felt its sudden vibration, which was strange, considering i have “Do Not Disturb” turned on most of the time. However I can recall a certain someone, which is Gun, who found out about how i always have that feature on as well as how my notifications are always turned off. Which is why, push notifications have been turned on for all of his messages, and all possible digital connections he might have with me ever since.

I took my phone out of my pocket, and i saw that it was 8:42 pm.

“Dang, time really does feel like its at it’s slowest when you’re having no fun..” I thought to myself.

I quickly unlocked my phone so that i could view the notification.

Notifications —

🔫 sent you a message. 8:41 pm

🔫 sent you a message. 8:42 pm

🔫 sent you an attachment. 8:42 pm

🔫 sent you a message. now

🔫 is currently typing… now

I looked at my phone with slight confusion, which was very visible from the look on my face. Gun isn’t usually the type to keep sending messages, he’d normally wait till i answer the first two or three then we’d keep the conversation going. But to my surprise, he still hasn’t stopped sending text messages, and he has even sent a few more pictures. I thought there’d have to be some sort of emergency or there might be something he needs, but upon reading his text messages, that wasn’t it.

🔫

8:41 pm you done working yet?? :(

8:42 pm Can I pick you up from work so we can spend the night at my place? ;)

8:42 pm *picture of a slightly beat up and angry goo sitting on what looks to be the couch at his and goo’s place, holding an ice pack to his nose, because him and gun don’t always manage to make the dreamwork in their teamwork*

8:42 pm u there??

8:42 pm i beat up goo to make sure he wont bother us again like last time

8:42 pm so u better not be upset abt that anymore

8:42 pm if u still are, i can and will make it up to you

8:43 pm if yk what i mean

8:43 pm *picture of your shared bedroom at their place*

8:44 pm *picture of a bunch of your favorite snacks on top of their kitchen counter, with goo visibly sneaking up to the said counter*

8:44 pm *picture of goo taking one of the said snacks*

8:44 pm *picture of goo making a run for it*

8:44 pm *picture of what looks to be gun’s point of view as hes chasing goo*

8:48 pm dw abt him

8:49 pm [now] its 8:49 in the evening, can you get off of your so called shift at 9:10 instead of 9:30 ??

“Y/N, are you alright? You’ve just been staring at your phone for the past few minutes, with an occasional smile while you’re scrolling through your screen..” One of the workers who is my friend said.

“Yeah, sorry, my boyfriend was just texting me.. I appreciate your concern though, f/n.” I quickly looked up from my phone as i spoke to her with a nervous yet sweet smile.

I was a bit startled when she approached me, holding a broomstick. But, she’s right, I’ve been staring at my phone for the past 7 minutes now, just waiting to see what hes typing and what chaotic pictures he’ll be sending. To make it worse, I wasn’t even responding to his messages, just staring. Although upon seeing the four minute gap between the last picture he sent and the message he sent at 8:48 pm made me wonder what might’ve went down between him and goo in those few minutes.

The employee who approached me is one of my close friends, she’s very sympathetic and trustworthy towards most people, especially her friends. Normally, I wouldn’t mention whether it was my boyfriend who i was speaking to or not, as it isn’t any of their business nor is it their concern. But since I’m close to the person who approached me, I did.

However, I don’t want to be the kind of person who makes their entire life about their relationship, and i wouldn’t want to be the one rubbing it in peoples face that i’m in one. But this specific friend of mine has been in a healthy relationship since we were both fifteen, meanwhile we are both turning nineteen soon. Therefore, I’m very comfortable talking to her about Gun, she seems to give pretty good advice anyway. So i don’t see any harm in doing so.

She approached me while I was cleaning the table in the corner, so we walked back to the counter together, while we chatted about our boyfriends.

Once we arrived, I took a few steps closer to the other employees,

“By the way, would you guys be alright with me leaving a bit earlier today, at around 9:10?” I nervously asked. Sure, this wouldn’t be the first time i’ve asked them if it were alright if i left early, yet i still get nervous doing so every time.

Among the three of them, none of them seemed to mind, instead, they were teasing me about my boyfriend, Gun. They even told me how I was starting to blush at even the slightest mentions of him and me together. I was a bit flustered but i just laughed it off and left the counter to finish up cleaning.

More customers were starting to exit the cafe few by few, however there were still plenty of people in the store. I started cleaning up the tables that were recently used by customers, aswell as tidying up the chairs and sweeping crumbs off of the floor.

Once I finished cleaning all the empty tables, I assisted my friend by serving a few more orders to customers in the pickup area, then i put away my cleaning materials into the workers closet, untied my apron, folded it neatly, then placed it inside of the workers closet.

Only now did I realize that i never responded to any of my boyfriends messages. I quickly grabbed my phone out of my pocket and started typing. I wasn’t really sure how i was supposed to respond especially since i only now realized its already 9:06 pm after leaving him on seen for so long, so i decided to just keep it simple.

You

now sure, oh and fyi i’m still upset

Gun only reacted with a “😒” to my message, so i ended up responding with a “😒😒” as well. Just about a few seconds later, he ended up sending me another few messages saying,

“ive been omw since like 12 minutes ago”

“even if you were rude and left me on seen for so long”

“but ill be there in like”

“2 mins”

“bitch”

I think he might be a lil angry about the fact i left him on seen for so long, considering he knows i don’t like being called a bitch.

Because of that, I just left him on seen again!

But he was quick to realize that I’m just gonna ignore him because of it, which is why he immediately sent a few more messages again.

“no wait im sorry”

“I didn’t mean it i swear”

“don’t ignore me”

“hey”

“:(”

I felt kinda bad but i just kept on ignoring his messages cause i’m petty asf.

Just about a minute passed after that, and he sent me another two messages.

“I’m here, come out”

“hurry up unless you want me to leave you”

I informed my co-workers before i left the store and waved them a small goodbye with a smile. They smiled and waved back, and i walked towards the door. I looked around the parking lot while I stood in front of the store, but I couldn’t see any of the cars i knew Gun owned. So I took my phone out to call him, but before I could even unlock it, I heard a familiar voice.

“Y/N? Do you seriously need me to come find you every time?” Gun scoffs as he walks closer to you.

“Hey, that was one time, let it go already, would ya?” you argue while putting your phone back inside your pocket.

“Well then, why is there a second time happening as we speak?” Gun states with that confident smirk on his face again.

“Well-” But before you could even finish whatever it was that you were going to say, Gun grabs your hand and looks at you.

“Never mind your stupid excuses, its late so we should get going.”

You guys walk while holding hands, which isn’t a very common occurrence when you’re in public considering Gun doesn’t want to put you in danger because you’re easily a great target for his enemies because of his “work,” which in this scenario he doesn’t tell you much about. But what really surprised you was that he was wearing gloves. “Why would he need gloves when he’s driving a car?” you thought to yourself.

You noticed that you guys are walking towards the parking area for motorcycles which confuses you, but knowing how unpredictable your boyfriend can be, you choose not to question it. That was until you noticed a familiar motorbike you knew Gun specifically owned. You didn’t think much of it, you simply assumed it could be someone else’s.

That was until Gun let go of your hand when you stopped in front of that same motorbike. He handed you a helmet with your name on it. It was matching with the helmet that he would typically wear when he’d hop on his bike. He quickly put his helmet on then got on the motorbike and looked at you. You were just standing there, holding the helmet with both your hands, nervous. Gun’s eyes moved from your eyes to the helmet you’re holding.

“Do you not like it or something? I can get you a new one if its that bad, but I really thought you’d like the design. I had it custom made to what I knew you liked, or atleast I thought so.”

“That’s thoughtful” You genuinely thought to yourself before hesitantly speaking.“Its not that, its just..”

Your boyfriend’s brow rose in confusion, knowing his very limited patience, he’s obviously waiting for a continuation of your response.

“Well?”

“I’ve never rode on a motorbike before, and its been a good while since i’ve even rode an actual bicycle..” You said. You’re quite afraid of what his response might be, as your boyfriend tends to have drastic mood changes from even the slightest of things that don’t please him.

Yet surprisingly, he got off of the motorbike and went to the other side of it, leaving the motorcycle in between the both of you. He reached his hand out to you. Not knowing a thing about motorcycles or what your boyfriend might do, you grabbed his hand. You weren’t sure how the hell were even supposed to get on the motorcycle, so you just tilted you head at him.

“Get on, I’ll hold you so you won’t fall.” “Hell, I’ll even guide you if you’re that clueless.” He added.

His words seem like they have genuine sympathy in them and even some patience left, but his tone? ehh, not so much..

You carefully but quickly examined the bike, its big. Seems hard to even get on. You saw the stick looking thing near the bottom on the side, you have no idea what its called. But what you do know is that it’s what someone usually steps on to get on a motorbike. You were too afraid to do anything so you just look back at your boyfriend. You’re genuinely surprised he managed to keep his cool up until now.

“Hey” Gun spoke outta nowhere which kind of startled you.

“Hm?” You hummed.

“Ever heard of backpacking on a motorbike?” Gun asked and you could see his usual smirk growing on his face.

You just shook your head in denial.

Gun let go of your hand and walked over to your side, he took the helmet from your hands and carefully put it on you, “That good?” he asked. “Yes, thank you” you replied. Then outta nowhere he got on his knees beside you.

You moved from facing the motorcycle to facing him who was by your side, and just stared at him. “What the fuck?” You blurted out. “Why the hell is a man with an ego higher than the steepest mountains on his knees?” You thought.

“Get on my back.” “Just crouch behind me and hold onto my shoulders, then when i stand up, I’ll lift your legs along with me.”

( note: kinda like the one in the video EXCEPT gun is on his knees and you don’t jump on his back, you just crouch behind him and hold his shoulders, then he’s holding you like how the guy is holding the girl in the video then yall get on the bike, i really hope yall can imagine and understand what im talking about 😭😭 )

People walking by were starting to give you guys weird looks, maybe they thought this guy was desperate for you or something. You just decided to go with his request anyway. Reluctantly, you walked behind him, crouched and grabbed onto his shoulders. Then he stood up, and you were basically piggy-back-riding him. Which you found quite strange, but you’re tired from work, so you don’t bother asking him anymore questions.

Next thing you know, you were on the motorbike, still holding your boyfriend’s shoulders, practically falling asleep. That was until he started the engine which startled you and you moved you hands to his waist, but you didn’t want to hugging onto him like a bug, so you thought it’d be fine for you to just barely hold his waist and keep your back and his chest apart from each other by a pretty big distance.

“You ready?” Your boyfriend asked as he looked back at you.

“Yeah, thank youuu” You reassured him despite your slightly shaking figure and gave him a smile.

“Alright then, but i’d hold on tighter than that if i were you.” He chuckled. You weren’t sure why he did but you decided to ignore it.

You noticed he kicked the side stand up which kind of distracted you, making your grip even more loose than it already was. Right then and there, he started the motorcycle but not even half of a second later, he immediately hit the brakes, hard. Which causes you to flinch like hell as it fell like you were about to fall and you’re pretty sure you almost did. You immediately hugged him tighter than you ever have before, wrapping your hands around his waist and holding onto his back like there’s no tomorrow.

“GUN!!” You screamed through your helmet.

He looked back at you, “What? I warned you~” He had a smirk spread across his face and you could tell he did on purpose, he then looked back at the road and chuckled.

You got flustered and held onto him tighter as he kept on laughing while you guys were still in the parking lot.

“Sorryy babyyyy” He looked back at you. “I’ll make it up to you later.” He was still smirking and he had a flirtatious tone on that last line. Which got you even more flustered and had you blushing like hell. Yet you were also terrified of what just happened and were shaking like crazy.

“Geez, was it that much of a scare? Your body is shaking like a speaker turned up to the highest volume.”

“If you weren’t such a dork, I wouldn’t be shaking!” You highlighted.

“Hold onto me tight, that way you’ll be less scared.”

And you did, you held on like a pet with separation anxiety towards their owner.

Then off you both went, riding through the city, making your guys’ way to his place.

notes: I don’t know if anyone is going to be reading this section or this fic even, but hello to whoever might be doing so!! 😭😭

I really hope all of my spelling and grammar isn’t f’d up but if you notice any mistakes in them, mb but I’ve read the whole fic already but i might’ve missed some mistakes 😔

This is also my first ever story/fic that i’ve written for any character, which is why i’m sorry if you didn’t like how i made Gun to be, and how i created this overall fic, but I tried my best 😔😔

Btw I made this on my phone so i hope it looks normal for any other device user out there, I might open up my laptop sooner or later to see if it does

It took me a while and as i’ve mentioned in the content warnings, i know nothing about motorcycles so if you’re a biker/rider i’m sorry if this might offend you in any way, but i ran to google back and fourth for about a million times, so i truly hope that the way i wrote about motorcycles in this fic wont bother you too much. Also, I’m sorry if yall are bothered about the fact that 35% of the fic was just reader at work 💀💀 Oh and sorry for the amount of linked pins and tiktok videos, I just wanted ppl to be sure of what was going on LMAOO

- With or without proper credits, please don’t try to steal or claim any of my works as your own

I genuinely appreciate opinions, feedback, likes, and reblogs, as this is my first ever post on this blog.

Once again, I hope this isn’t too bad for my first fic, and i’ll probably be doing more characters in lookism 🫶🫶

[sugawhaaa]

!!Health update!!

Part 4??

So the other night guess where I had to go again 😃 the ER yippee!! So basically my chronic pain suddenly got worse and I went to the ER with my mother again. We got in, I was marked as urgent and as soon as we went to triage I got taken to the side room to get blood work, an IV, and a urine test and they had to do that heart scan thing because my blood pressure was sky high like 😨 they gave me some meds and sent me out to the waiting room. I sobbed for like 4 hours in the waiting room they gave me Torydol or however u spell it through my IV and guess what?! It stopped working in an hour.

I was then moved up to most urgent and got rechecked for vitals when a nurse came and got me. After like...9 hours I finally saw a doctor and he pretty much said "idk what's wrong with you" which was yk very reassuring to hear. He was very kind tho so that's good 👍 and after all that I got perscribed ✨️morphine✨️ which was scary at first. And when I was getting it in the ER the nurse was like "u may feel neaseua or dizziness its all normal" and when she put the thing in my IV I started having difficulty breathing and I said that and she instantly went "No your not your fine," bc she forgot to mention the number one side effect of morphine is a choking feeling but yk would've been freaking nice to know before I started thinking I was having an allergic reaction to a drug.

Anyway what I'm getting at here is that my pain I've been having is so insufferably bad that I needed morphine to EASE the pain. I ended up getting scheduled for an ultrasound the next day and legally the nurse couldn't tell me anything she saw but she was measuring a few things in my uterus and there were lots of red and blue dots on the screen so she found smth 👍

Unfortunately it'll take a week to get the results and idk how much the gynecologist will be able to do for me at the end of the day. My mother did say when the nurse was measuring smth in my uterus that it was at least 4cm which doesn't sound like a lot but my little uterus ain't that big 😬 so smth 4cm long will take up about 50% of the space in my uterus which is JAGEURJ

Anyway sorry this is long but I'm in a lot of pain and literally flipping out rn bc I might need surgery like...rlly soon so if I'm not uploading a lot that's bc I am stressed tf out rn 😭

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №21 (3 WEEK ANNIVERSARY WOO)

Education edition!

1. The fault crew get magically teleported to high school. To everyone else they appear as perfectly normal, definitely human, high school age students. Except Phil, he's a professor. Oh also the red is temporarily disabled. They also get a note from me apologizing for sending them into random situations so much and the info that they'll be there for one school day and they'll be teleported back when they exit the school after the school day ends. They also have backpacks with their timetables and any other normal schools stuff they might need. What happens?

2. What would each character's favourite subject be? Why?

3. How much experience does each character actually have with school/the education system?

4. Would Tubbo having dyslexia imply that dyslexia is a condition that affects the soul and not the brain? Considering the fact that I don't think they.. have.. a brain. Can they even get brain damage? Or bruises (doesn't have blood).

5. What would each character be a teacher of if they had to be a teacher?

1.Well Tommy is having the best day of his life making friends and chatting and goofing off. Everyone else is losing their minds. I don’t imagine they’d participate willingly given a major lack of familiarity and general chaotic upheaval, but we’ll assume magic reinforcement. 

Phil is pulling his hair out trying to fake lectures on the fly, but is pretty good once he gets into it. Honestly one of the better substitutes the classes have gotten, given I’ve dealt with neonazi subs in the past. He’s fun and nice but can wrangle everyone enough that they aren’t just feral. Philza is unflappable to various hazing rituals, and somehow gets a class to enjoy a brief meditating session like one of my coworkers managed once. Still don’t know how she got 10 year olds to beg to meditate again…

Tubbo is desperately trying to find a wheel chair so they don’t have to explain the flying thing. And then kinda adores it since it’s so much easier to get around and they’re way less tired than normal since constantly flying on a skeleton crew gives very little time to rest. Unforchie living in the woods makes wheelchairs impractical due to the terrain. They keep going hella fast and accidentally running into walls and stuff. Though it’s probably an awful model that is uncomfortable after a few hours rip. Other than that, becomes THE person for school gossip. Literally knows all the dirt within hours. Cheats their way through all tests and work too because come on they’re an adult they’re not dealing with this bullmuffin. 

Wilbur is mentally dying. He only knows forbidden knowledge and has never done proper math before. Its only understanding of social convention is stuff picked up in crowds and stores, only brief interactions to avoid further attention. Doesn’t understand literally anything that’s happening, and ends up ditching class to try and hide until the school day is over (no concept of how long that is). Starts stress eating really bad. 

The Blade is somewhat shy at first given it’s a bunch of people he doesn’t know, but gets into it. He’s having fun preforming way above grade level and rubbing it in the face of children. But also uuhsghsja in person school is so long and requires consistent attention in a way that is hellish on the adhd. He misses college schedule flexibility and fewer number of hours. 

2.The Blade likes mythology bc he’s a nerd. And also the voices have scraps of information from the past sometimes. Wilbur likes theater because it’s his natural calling. Philza likes science because it keeps evolving all the time and is really funny to compare to previous human theories on how stuff works. Tommy likes art. He’s not like good but he has fun. Tubbo’s a philosophy guy since omg other people with ethics…

3.Wilbur: zilch. Nada. Never really considered how humans seem to know stuff while he’s had to puzzle everything out. Is jealous when it realizes people are just told how to operate and function in society when it had to learn the hard way. 

The Blade: online classes, skimmed through K-12 stuff and then attended proper college. A proud dual major. 

Tubbo: has gone through the school system twice, plus law school. I think Rosalind was like a psychology major but didn’t do anything with it. Jasmine was in year one, and Rhodes gave Tubbo informal schooling. 

Tommy: a high school dropout because the Foundation got him before he could graduate. Was planning to go to college but wasn’t sure what degree to get. 

Philza: a bunch of weird stuff over the millennia. Not stuff really geared towards children, but I figure he’s dipped in with various philosopher and academic circles. I suppose most recently would be Dr. Anderson rambling about his archeology work, since Phil was a big help on his thesis. 

4.Nah not a soul thing at all. Bees have brains. And also very importantly, 2 compound eyes with 6,000 lenses and three ocelli (primitive light receptor eyes). Now that is a lot of images, though a bee brain does combine them like how we combine our two fields of vision. Except, Tubbo also has approximately 1 million eyes when at the 200k population, most of which is not looking at only the words before them. Plus most of those eyes are very very small compared to the letters. This all makes it rather hard for them to read, which Rhodes interpreted as dyslexia.  

Also fun fact only the insectoid body’s eyes can see the color red, since (to my understanding) light operates differently at a small scale so insects operate lower on the light spectrum (ultra violet to orange). But the insectoid eyes are way bigger so they can have human range too. Though Tubbo tends to call things that for them are in the orange range red since obviously when Rhodes was looking at red stuff that’s what he taught them it was. So also partially color blind, or color+ given the ultra violet. 

Tubbo could get temporary brain damage should the majority of bees get brain damage (probably difficult without killing them). But give them a month and those bees will all be dead and replaced. Potentially could get bruise like injuries from internal damage to honey cells, but they’d probably eat the spilled honey. 

5.Phil is a welding teacher because fire and invention. He helps kids make swords and whatever they can think of since he wants to foster human innovation. He can’t be a history teacher because what he has experience with is very spotty and he’d probably argue with the official version of history so much that all his students fail testing.

Wilbur is a gym teacher. Everyday is leg day. It loves designing weird challenges and games and honestly half the kids probably hate it. He always beats them on the mile, definitely not one of those gym teachers that sits and watches the kids exercise. 

Assuming the orphan thing isn’t a problem, The Blade is an English teacher. Preferably for middle schoolers since they’d really vibe with his edgy humor. Everything he grades is always three months late. 

Tommy teaches graphic design. It’s stuff like editing silly videos and photoshop nonsense. It’s very easy to get him off topic to avoid working that class period. 

Tubbo covers home ec with an emphasis on stuff like gardening. They always seem to know when people are acting up, like eyes in the back of their head but a million times worse. 

[sam-loves-seb]

I’ve read your Several Sentences Sunday post an embarrassing number of times. I’m just that excited for the next chapter of I’m Not The Way I Was.

aw thanks so much, this is so sweet. i'm so glad you're excited about i'm not the way i was. i am too!

also gonna use this ask to say that unfortunately there will be no new chapter today :( there are a few parts i'm still playing with because i wanna get them right, and life's just been too chaotic lately to actually give ch 6 the time and attention it needs. i am hopeful that posting will resume in two weeks and we can get back to the regular update schedule. fingers crossed!

until then, i'm posting the first thousand-ish words of ch 6 under the cut to hopefully hold everyone over until then. (it's unedited and unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.)

enjoy. xx

Ian wakes up in Lip’s dorm room. Again.

The alarm clock is blaring at full volume, and Lip kicks Ian in the shins until he’s conscious enough to reach over and shut it off.

“What fucking time is it?” Lip groans into his pillow.

“Eight-thirty.” Ian yawns.

“I don’t have class ‘til eleven,” Lip says as he pulls his pillow out from under his head and whacks Ian in the face with it.

Ian shoves him off. “Yeah, but I have work at nine.”

That’s part of the reason Ian was able to drag himself away from Mickey’s house last night. He took a cab back to CPU in the middle of the night after he got off Mickey’s block and realized he had to be up in six hours for work. He could��ve stayed at the house and taken the L back to campus in the morning, but he was so wired after his talk with Mickey last night that he used the cab ride to tire himself out.

Which ultimately wasn’t that successful because he spent most of the ride texting Mickey and planning their first date. He even called him as he walked across the green to Lip’s dorm and listened to Mickey’s raspy voice, half asleep and smiling on the other end of the line as they decided on a date and time.

Tonight. Seven o’clock.

“Next time you go to your boyfriend’s house, stay there ‘til the morning,” Lip teases, grabbing his hoodie from the floor and sliding it on over his bedhead.

Ian gave him the one-sentence-summary of his conversation with Mickey when his bleary-eyed brother opened the door for him at two-thirty last night. He did not, in any way, shape, or form, use the word boyfriend, but Lip doesn’t seem to care.

“Yeah yeah,” Ian says with a quiet smile, pulling on a fresh t-shirt he steals from Lip’s dresser. “Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair tonight.”

Lip reaches over and plucks at the eight-ball design on the front of the threadbare cotton shirt. “You staying at Mickey’s?”

“No,” Ian answers automatically, then pauses. His hands go still where they’re half buried in his backpack. “Well. I don’t know.”

Lip just raises his brows at him as he sits down in his desk chair.

“Is that a normal first date thing?” Ian asks, his brows pinched. “To sleep over?”

“Why are you asking me?” Lip asks, tapping out a cigarette from Ian’s pack.

“’cause you’ve done this shit before.”

Lip cracks the window and lights up. “Only one of us has dated Mickey Milkovich before, and it wasn’t me.”

Ian rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but…” He shakes his head. “You know, Mickey and I never went on dates.”

Lip pauses. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Ian says, shrugging. “And I wanna do this right. I don’t know what the… etiquette is.”

Lip takes a long drag and sort of tilts his head from side to side. “I doubt Mickey does either.”

Something about that settles the little ball of anxiety that was slowly starting to build in Ian’s chest. Because Lip’s right—neither of them know what the hell they’re doing with this shit.

Whether that’s good or bad remains to be seen, but at least it puts them on an even playing field.

“Look,” Lip says, leaning over and clapping Ian on the shoulder. “Just feel it out. If things are going well, maybe suggest it, see what he says.”

Ian nods. “Yeah.”

Lip squeezes his shoulder. “Just talk to him about it. Okay?” He leans back in his chair. “It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah.” Ian breathes out a long exhale. “Okay.”

The panicked nerves inside of him start to turn into an excited buzz after a minute. He’s definitely still nervous, but it doesn’t feel as heavy. Suddenly he desperately wants it to be seven o’clock, and he’s walking over to the Alibi to pick Mickey up for their date.

The fact that Ian has to work an eight-hour janitorial shift between now and then is criminal.

“You know I’m rooting for you,” Lip starts, “but in the off chance you don’t end up staying at Mickey’s house tonight—are you coming back here?”

“Nah,” Ian tells him, shaking his head. “Figured I’d stay at the house. Last night, and all that.”

“Oh, right,” Lip says. He blinks tiredly, a little dazed. “Forgot about that.”

Ian finishes packing his shit in his bag. “Bank’s coming to change the locks tomorrow.”

Lip taps his fingers against the edge of his desk. “I think I still have some shit in my room. Maybe tomorrow morning… I mean, I have work, but I can probably catch the L early and come home to get it before—”

“I already boxed it up,” Ian tells him, slinging his backpack over one shoulder. “I put it with my shit, so you can come get it whenever. Kev and V said we could move our stuff to their place until we figure out where we’re gonna go.”

Lip nods. “Thanks.”

“Yep.”

With a heavy sigh, Lip turns in his chair and opens one of his textbooks, flipping through the pages until he finds the folded sheet of notes he crammed in it yesterday.

“What are you doing?” Ian asks, tying his sneakers. “You said you don’t have class ‘til eleven. Go back to bed.”

“No, I gotta get this done,” Lip says, glancing at the clock. “I won’t have time to do it later, I have a… thing.”

Ian raises a brow. “A thing?”

“Yeah.”

When Lip doesn’t expand on it, Ian crosses his arms over his chest.

“You’re gonna be late.”

“Don’t care. What’s your thing?”

Lip sighs. “Alright,” he says, dropping his pencil. “You know that professor I told you about?”

“The one you’re sleeping with?”

Lip nods. “The school board kind of found out about it when this naked picture I took of her leaked online.”

“Jesus Christ, Lip,” Ian says, his mouth dropping open.

“I didn’t leak it,” Lip says, then shakes his head. “Long story—whatever. They know, and now I gotta go to this fucking hearing about it.”

Ian stares at him with worried eyes. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. Can’t they kick you out for this?”

Lip considers it, then shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Ian blinks. “Shit.”

“Yeah.” Lip scrubs his hands over his face. “So now I’ve got that to worry about, and Helene’s career is under fire over something that shouldn’t have been anyone else’s business in the first place.”

Ian’s lips quirk up. “Helene?”

Lip kicks at his knee. “Shut up.”

“You’ve never told me her name before.”

“Yeah, well. That’s when I thought we could keep this whole thing on the down low.”

Ian hums in agreement.

“Anyway,” Lip says, running his finger over the corner of the page in his textbook. “I gotta read this.”

“Yeah, I gotta head out,” Ian says, standing up with his backpack on one shoulder still. “Good luck today.”

Lip waves halfheartedly. “You too.”

Ian makes a confused face as he walks backwards to the door.

Lip smiles. “With your date.”

“Right,” Ian says, and he can’t help but smile too.

“Give Mickey my love.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”

...more to come!

[ read from the chapter 1 on ao3 ]

[lockes-woods]

Stuck Chapter 4

Himiko sighed in content as she stretched. Thursdays were her favorite day of the week. While she did still have two lectures, she didn’t work at either of her jobs again until the next morning. She always treated Thursdays like a recovery day. A groan escaped her as she changed positions and stretched the left side of her body. She was doing a bastardized version of yoga based on her high school gym classes and the stretches she learned throughout the years at different Dojos. She normally would wait to stretch until after breakfast, but she was trying to keep her mind off the text she sent to Shanks the night before. Her nerves got the best of her when she tried to eat earlier. She had two spoonsful of cereal before nausea set in.

          She was still trying to convince herself that it was fine that Shanks hadn’t replied yet. It was only nine in the morning, and she had sent the text at around midnight the day before. She had no idea what his schedule was, and he might want to talk to Mihawk before responding to her. All she had texted was a basic ‘here’s my number' text’ followed by a text that she had also gotten his card from Mihawk.

While part of her was able to rationalize the delayed response there was also a part of her that was deeply anxious. Did she overstep? What if he didn’t want his husband to know about her? Sure, they playfully flirted with each other, but it wasn’t serious. Still, she worried that she had crossed a boundary that she didn’t know existed.

          “Are you okay?” Nami asked as she entered the living room.

          “I guess, why?” Himiko asked as she dropped her pose and turned to face her.

          “You’ve been holding that pose for like five minutes; I can practically hear you overthinking from here,” Nami said as she slipped on her jacket. She had class in an hour and work afterward.

          “I’m just still waiting for Shanks to reply,” Himiko admitted bashfully. She avoided eye contact as she took a swig from her water bottle.

          “Ah, how’s your stomach?” Nami asked leaning against the couch.

          “Alright I guess I was planning to hit up the café for lunch before class,” Himiko answered.

          “Did you eat breakfast?” She probed.

          “Sorta; I just wasn’t hungry.” Himiko fibbed.

          “You weren’t hungry or were you not able to eat?” Nami pushed. Himiko loved their relationship, but it was at times like these that she wished Nami didn’t know her so well.

          “I had a couple bites of cereal before I got nauseous,” Himiko answered truthfully, finally looking Nami in the eye.

          “Damn, you’re really down bad for them huh?” Nami teased.

          “Is that a bad thing?” Himiko asked.

          “No, it’s just funny. I’ve never seen you get like this over a guy. The only times you’ve ever been like this were always for women.” Nami said. It was true while Himiko was bisexual 90% of her romantic endeavors were with women. The farthest she had ever gotten with a guy was a few dates, or a one-night stand.

           “It’s not even a romantic thing; I just get anxious around them individually. Thinking about interacting with them together makes me nervous on a whole different level. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s not in a bad way, but it’s also not good either. I’ve never felt this way before. I’m just more conscious of my mistakes when I’m around them and I want to make the best impression I can.” Himiko said.

          Nami paused before replying, “I know you said it isn’t romantic, but to me, it sounds like you have a crush.”

          “Maybe? But my crushes are never this intense. I already know nothing could ever happen romantically; they’re married to each other. Before I even knew that they were an item I had ruled out pursuing either of them. If not for the fact that I don’t even know their sexualities, there is also an age gap between us.” Himiko sighed.

          “Aren’t they in their mid-thirties? That’s not that big of an age gap; especially in the queer community. It’s not like you just turned 18 or anything. You’re all adults.” Nami responded.

          “I guess I just feel bad that I’m having these feelings about them at all. I just respect them a lot. They’re literally the definition of a power couple. Both of them are at the top of their fields.” Himiko said.

          “I wouldn’t feel bad for feeling this way. It just sounds like you admire both of them and want that feeling to be mutual.” Nami said sympathetically.

          “I guess; I just wish I could put a name to this feeling,” Himiko said while fidgeting with her hands.

          “I gotta go. Maybe you should just go to the café now to get your mind off things. I feel like you’re just going to spiral if you stay here alone; plus, you’ll probably feel better once you eat.” Nami said.

          “You’re probably right,” Himiko agrees, “Gimmie a second and I’ll head out with you.” She quickly went to her room to grab her bag. She rushed back out to the main room and slipped on a pair of shoes and her jacket before following Nami out of their apartment.

           “What do you think is the best-case scenario for your situation?” Nami asked as they made their way down to the street from their three-floor walkup.

          “I don’t know, I guess Shanks represents me in court and I don’t have to worry about dealing with that scum bag ever again,”  Himiko said.

          “So, if you were able to enter a romantic relationship with them you wouldn’t?” Nami asked.

          “I don’t want to entertain that idea even as a hypothetical. It’s never going to be on the table.” Himiko dismissed.

          “Alright if you say so,” Nami started as they paid their fare. “For what it's worth it sounds like your goal is pretty easily attainable. I can’t see any reason knowing his husband would cause him to renege on his offer to you.”

          “You’re probably right. This is just a new level of social anxiety that I wasn’t aware I had.” Himiko responded as they got onto the train and snagged two seats.

          “I always knew you had it in you,” Nami joked causing Himiko to roll her eyes.

          “You’re hilarious,” Himiko said dryly.

          “I know right?” Nami said ignoring Himiko’s deadpan look.

          “Are you going to be home for dinner tonight?" Himiko segwayed.

          “Nah, I was going to take Vivi out on a date. Well, she’s technically taking me out. There’s a new Thai place that opened up near school that we’ve been wanting to try.” Nami answered.

          “So, in other words, you plan, and she pays?” Himiko joked.

          “Yup,” Nami said back.

          “What’s it called when you date someone younger than you, but they spoil you?” Himiko asked.

          “Reverse sugar daddy?” Nami said after thinking for a second,

          “I guess, I can’t think there’s any other way to phrase it.” Himiko said with a laugh before continuing, “I do love that you found someone that you like and takes care of you; Bell-mère would be proud.” Himiko said with a smile.

          “Now we just have to get you, somebody,” Nami said with a matching smile as she bumped shoulders with Himiko.

          “Maybe after I graduate,” Himiko said, “I barely have enough time for myself.”

          “That’s in like forever; you know mom always said that living is for now, not the future,” Nami replied.

          “I know, I know, I just made a promise to myself that if I was going to get my degree I wouldn’t half-ass it,” Himiko said back.

          “I get that, but this feels extreme; when’s the last time you even got laid?” Nami asked.

          “I don’t know,” Himiko paused to think, “Last Labor Day?”

          “That was over two months ago!” Nami said in shock, “I know you don’t like dating apps, but there have to have been people you could have been with since then.”

          “Maybe? That was the last time I had off from class and work. It just doesn’t work for my schedule to date someone. I also hate one-night stands; I’d rather have an emotional connection with someone with no sex than sex with nothing there.”  Himiko vented.

          “Maybe you could take less classes next semester?” Nami said.

          “I wish, I’m already only taking three classes at a time. If I take any less, I’ll have to start paying back my student loans.” Himiko said with a frown.

          “Could you work less?” Nami asked.

          “Nami, we barely make rent every month. I’m not going to risk us being evicted because I want some action.” Himiko dismissed, as they pulled into their stop. Both of them get up and make their way to the street.

          “I wish there was another way,” Nami sighed.

          “It sucks, but I think I just need to focus on my career right now or quit.” Himiko agreed, stopping in front of the café, “Are you going to get anything or are you heading straight to class?” Nami glanced down at her phone before replying.

          “Nah, I have to get to class. We have a semester project coming up     and I have some questions about the assignment.”          

          “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Himiko asked.

          “Probably not til Saturday, I’m going to stay over at Vivi’s tonight,” Nami replied.

          “Alright, be safe,” Himiko said squeezing Nami’s hand.

          “You too, keep me updated on the DILF situation,” Nami said as she started walking backward away from Himiko towards campus.

          “I will,” Himiko waved before heading into the café. It was packed, but some of the sitting area was open. She quickly walked over to the half-booth section and placed her bag down on the table to claim her spot. Afterward, she got in line. While it was only three people deep Himiko still pulled out her phone to kill the time. Her stomach dropped when she saw a text notification from Shanks. She thought she’d be relieved when he finally responded, but her nerves tripled instead. She hesitated before opening her phone and reading the texts.

          Shanks: Wow, small world.

          Shanks: Are you free at all this week? Or next week?

Himiko: I’m free tonight after 5 and Sunday afternoon.

Himiko: Why?

“Himiko you’re up.” She heard Robin call out to her. She snapped her head up realizing that the three people ahead of her had moved on to the handoff area. Himiko quickly stepped forward to close the gap between her and the counter.

          “What can I get for you today?” Robin asked.

          “Um, can I have an order of the shortbread cookies and a large honey lavender oat milk latte?” She asked putting away her phone away and pulling out her card. She had never been more thankful that she had her read receipts turned off. She tapped her card to the card reader before shuffling over to the espresso bars.

          “Whoa, you good Himiko?” Usopp asked looking over the machine.

          “I’m fine,” Himiko started before getting cut off by Sanji.

          “Are you sure? You look like you just got sucker punched in the gut.” He said in a concerned tone.

          “Like physically I’m fine; there have just been developments with the whole DILF situation.” She explained.

          “Ooo, what happened?” Sanji said handing her drink to her over the machine.

          “It’s kind of hard to explain and is still developing. I’ll update the group chat when I can.” She promised after grabbing the cookies she ordered from Usopp.

          “You better,” Usopp said.

          “Yeah, your love life is never this exciting,” Sanji tacked on.

          “And because we care about you,” Usopp said nudging Sanji.

          “Yeah, that too,” Sanji agreed. Himiko rolled her eyes and turned on her heels to head back to her table. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed it had been encapsulated by a large group of teenage girls on either side. If she had to guess it was probably a group of freshmen from the college. She glanced around and noticed all the other tables were full. Suddenly feeling claustrophobic Himiko decided to leave the café and head for the botanical garden nearby. Technically it was part of the hospital’s campus, but she had never really seen any medical staff around it. She waved to the guys as she headed out.

          This was one of her favorite times of year to go to the garden; while most things had died off for the year there were a good number of trees and bushes that had changed colors with the season. This was also the time of year it was least busy. During the spring and early summer, it was packed with tourists and city dwellers alike who admired the flora. It wouldn’t be that busy again until they put up the decorative lights in December. Himiko was thankful for the good weather. The temperature had peaked above fifty degrees and there was no wind chill for once. A smile graced her lips as she made it to the center of the garden where there were metal benches and a grand water fountain. While the fountain had been turned off for the year, she was still able to admire the sculpted metal of different flowers. She was surrounded by hues of yellow, orange, and red.

          After settling onto a bench, she pulled out her phone and saw a new text from Shanks.

          Shanks: We’d like to take you out for dinner.

          Shanks: Only if you’re comfortable with that; you can pick where we eat.

          Himiko paused and read over the text twice before clicking on the Going Merry group chat.

Himiko: Update: The DILF Surgeon and DILF Lawyer are married.

Himiko: Nami and I figured it out last night and I texted them.

Himiko: And now they want to take me out to dinner tonight.

King: That’s crazy

NomNom: Are you going to go?

Himiko: IDK I haven’t texted back yet

Loverboy: This feels like a sex thing

Himiko:You say that about everything

Captain: They could just be going over the next step in legal action

Loverboy: Both of them wouldn’t need to go if it was that

Mosshead: I hate to agree with Mr. Prince but it could be that

Mosshead: That lawyer has always flirted with you

King: The surgeon too

Himiko: The surgeon has never flirted with me

King: He always perks up when you’re working

Loverboy: That’s true

Captain: I’d go if I were you

Captain: Worst case scenario you get a free meal

Himiko: I guess that’s true

NomNom: Um no. Worst case scenario they abduct and kill you

Himiko: I feel like if they were creeps I would have caught on by now

Himiko: Plus I can take care of myself

Mosshead: I’m free tonight if you need an out

Captain: Me too

Himiko: Okay, I think I’m going to go

NomNom: You better have your location on the whole time

Mosshead: Drop a pin when you get to there

Captain: Text us when you get home

          Himiko was about to reply when a shadow was suddenly cast over her. Her head shot up as she squeaked before realizing that it was just Mihawk. He huffed a laugh through his nose in response.

          “Hey, what are you doing here?” Himiko asked, still recovering from the fright.

          “I could ask you the same thing; I do work at this here after all,” Mihawk responded with an amused look on his face.

          “Oh, right,” Himiko said with a sheepish smile. She could feel the heat of embarrassment rise up her neck to her face before she responded, “I sometimes come here to kill time before class. I like to watch the leaves change before everything goes dormant for the winter.” Mihawk nodded in understanding as he took in the trees himself. While he was distracted Himiko sneaked a glance at him. He wasn’t wearing scrubs today; instead, he was wearing a charcoal grey button-down, black slacks, and a white coat. Himiko tried to ignore the fact that she could see his figure more clearly than normal. She couldn’t help but stare at where the fabric strained against his body. He was muscular, but not in a bulky way. If Himiko had to describe it, she’d call it a swimmer’s build.

          “No surgeries today?” she asked, looking up at him.   

          “No,” he said in agreement, “I have to catch up on some paperwork today as well as check in on patients. I was on my way to grab an early lunch when I saw you out here.”  He finished nodding up at the bridge above them that connected two wings of the hospital together.

          “May I sit?” he asked.

          “Oh, sure,” Himiko said scooting over and shifting her backpack from the bench to the ground. He sat and turned to face her.

          “It’s funny I was just texting Shanks about dinner before you showed up.” She said with a smile.

          “Oh? Have you decided if you are going or not?” Mihawk said quirking an eyebrow.

          “Yeah, I was just trying to decide where I wanted to go,” Himiko started, “Do you guys like diner food?”

          “I’m sure we’ll like wherever you decide on; we’re more concerned with the company than the food,” Mihawk said looking down at her.

          “Okay,” Himiko said shyly. “I still can’t believe that you two know each other, let alone are married.”

          “We were equally surprised to come to the revelation that you were the same worker we’ve both taken a liking to.” Mihawk agreed.

          “Why do you want to have dinner with me?” She asked. Mihawk paused before responding.

          “I believe it would be best to tell you when we are all together.”

          “Okay,” she nodded looking down at her phone, “I have class soon, but would the diner on the corner of Thirty-second Street and Poplar Street at six-thirty tonight work?”

          “That sounds perfect,” Mihawk confirmed with a slight upturn of his lip, “I’ll let Shanks know.”

          “Okay, cool,” Himiko said sliding on her backpack.

“See you later.” She said giving him one last look before heading back out to the street towards the university.

MASTER LIST

[mortiskiller]

Could you give me genuine advice on how to gain weight? I don’t eat enough in a day and I’m not exactly well off where I can buy myself fast food every single day. Any advice/tips? My goal is to gain an additional 30 lbs. I don’t have a feeder but I would love to be overweight again. I just want to be fat again!!!! It makes me really disappointed bc I’m stuck at this weight right now.

Gaining weight is hard if you don't stick to a schedule, especially if money is an issue.

1. You may need to have repetition in your diet. Pasta, beans, chicken thighs, and root veggies are cheap and easy to cook. With some solid recipes and time, you can easily eat 3k or 4k calories a day with those ingredients. Before I got a good paying job, I had a stable of about 4 recipes I rotated through each week to stay on budget but not lose weight.

2. Liquid calories are easy but not cheap. Cream is a typical option given the calories per dollar ratios. Usually, $1 is roughly 750 calories for a quart of cream. Try to mix with with simple ingredients like syrups, fruit, or baked goods for some better flavor.

3. Know your exercise level and how many calories you need to maintain your weight. My daily requirement of calories to not lose weight is around 3500 since I work out quite a bit. If your job has you on your feet or moving a lot, you need to be aware of calorie deficits. It's not fun to track calories, but given your situation, you may have to. Your body can't store fat if there are no excess calories to do that with.

4. Light to moderate exercise helps to keep your appetite normal and helps you feel hungrier faster. I am at a point with my workout routine that I can eat 2k for a meal and be hungry in less than an hour. Walking, weight lifting, and even yoga at home can be a great help.

5. Weight fluctuates, and that is ok. In a month, my weight goes as low as 285 and as high as 310, depending on some of the factors listed above. Your weight will not always be going up given you say money is a limiting factor.

6. Your body may not be geared toward gaining, and that's fine. Some body types struggle to gain or keep on weight. It's part genetics, part hormones, and part metabolism.

That is a lot and I am sure others have advice as well. Overall, there is no full proof way of gaining short of massive quantities of food all the time. It's easy to gain when you can spend 2k a month on take out!

Personally, don't be disappointed about not gaining. It's easier for some people for a number of reasons. Find what works for you and celebrate the little victories on your journey!

Hope that helps!

[aria-keplr]

Goro Akechi fluff ?

its been so long since I’ve consumed or made any media of P5, will try my best here 🤞

For the purposes of the story and my bad memory, Akechi is going to a private school.

Not fluff but pancake boy being caring :3

Being in the same high school with the detective prince really wasn’t all that special. Not many people cared , it was a private school after all. Fortunately or unfortunately, the choice is yours, you shared a few classes with him. Now obviously it’s not like you cared much. I mean it was cool you attend a school with this boy genius detective and what not. Albeit the only thing that was concerning is that he was falling behind. Of course being a detective and a high school student could be awfully stressful. You would always find that he would ask others for notes. Some teachers reprimanded him, some were lenient.

No matter what he had done, you now landed in a two period AP Literature class with him, doing an analysis project. The class is scattered around while the teacher does god knows what at her desk. You and Akechi opt for the small corner near the bookshelf. You and him never really interact outside of school matters. Despite not showing it, you could tell he’s frustrated. Small huffs and rubbing his face up and down as he reads the god awful 40 pages you two were assigned. Sure you have like two weeks left to finish this, but he seemed so stressed about it. You don’t really address it, probably something on his mind.

You open your mouth, thinking for a split second before speaking, “I can take care of the note taking… All you have to do is just write the essay”

It was a weak attempt at trying to relieve the workload he had.

“I’m almost done with the notes, its fine but thank you” He replies, still absorbed into the work.

You exhale softly, he had a tendency to do this, “Just share the document with me, we can work on it together Akechi,” Your tone isn’t demanding but stern.

He nods and types in your email, sending it to you and allowing you to edit it. Once you open it, it’s nothing less of what you expected. You smile slightly at this, “You know, you’re a good note writer”

You swear you left a crack in him, his eyes no longer a void, but not showing much. He nods, “Thank you”

You smile softly back and continue to work on the notes with one hour left, you won't see him again till lunch in like two periods. Your notes aren't as concise, neat, and arranged as Akechi’s is, but they’re something. As the bell rings, you both narrowly finish up the notes. You definitely lost a few brain cells. You lean back in your chair before closing your chromebook and gather your stuff to leave.

Before you could leave, Akechi clears his throat. You turn to him, looking slightly confused.

“Here’s my.. contact info I shouldn't be busy around 11 PM most days” He says while handing you a piece of paper. You almost find it strange that hes giving you his information.

“Why? Is there something you want to talk about outside of school?”

Not that you know it but he’s trying his best to play it normal, “Ah.. just in case you have any questions or concerns really”

The answer is weird, but you deem it acceptable, “Oh, alright, see you!” You turn on your heels and speed walk out the class, being a little behind schedule from the interaction between you and Akechi.

.

Shortly after school ends, you contact the number,

‘This is Akechi right?’

The reply is almost instantaneous, a buzzing from your phone is heard.

‘Yes this is’

It's a little strange, you thought he would’ve been more busy but it’s really none of your concern is it. Walking a little more, you sit down at a bus stop, waiting for it to arrive. You set your bag down next to you and reply back, only to find out he sent a second message.

‘Don't plan on taking a bus, there's been more reports of harassment and muggings on the bus’

You sigh and get up, I mean it would be foolish to not listen to a detective’s advice.Yet you find it weird that he somehow or it felt like he knew you would take the bus. You reply back finally,

‘Thanks for the heads up, I was about to take the bus lol’

Quickly you see the three bubbles as you get up and start to walk. Another buzz rattles your phone.

‘Be careful while walking too’

You raise your eyebrows and look around, wondering if he's watching you or something. You quickly shrug it off as paranoia and type back.

‘…’

‘So how tf am I supposed to get home safely 🧍’

It was a genuine question, you can't walk or take public transportation safely it seems. It's still a surprise at how quickly he responds as well.

‘I could walk you home, safer that way’

…

Then how is he supposed to be safe..?

You shrug and decide it's the best option, not like you have the money to call a cab right now, you spent it on snacks earlier. You take slow steps, sending a text back as you walk.

‘Sure, meet me outside of the Shinu Coffee shop’

He likes the message in response.

You take the short walk there, and shortly spot him there outside, almost looking stressed. I mean, it’s probably because of the public snapping photos of him. He spots you and quickly walks over, motioning his eyes to keep walking. You let out a blow of air before turning on your heels and speed walk, hoping to avoid the paparazzi. As you walk, you feel a small buzz in your phone again,

‘Uh, just meet me here, in a bit that is…’

He shortly sends a location, and within a good 20 minutes, he enters the cafe that he sent you. It was a warm small town cafe, simple yet cozy.

He smiles, lines under his eyes crease and his smile lines become apparent, “Sorry about all that,” he waves his hand as to excuse himself.

“No worries,” You reply.

You hum as you start to open your bag, opening up the small zipped up pocket taking out a thousand yen bill.

Although it seems like Akechi had the same idea.

He stares at you before you both give an awkward smile, “No I insist it's okay, I dragged you all the way here”

“You’re tired after all of it, it's quite alright,” you claim and smile.

On a normal occasion you would have let him pay, but he truly seemed exhausted.

“You like caramel lattes?”

Before you could even shake, nod and shrug, he stands up and heads to the counter to place his order. You’re taken aback by the absurdity of the prince detective actively offering you a drink. You slightly smile before he sits back down with the two drinks in hand. The smell of his coffee is strong, but he smells like pancakes nonetheless. His hair shines under the yellow light of the coffee shop, with his soft content after sipping from the paper cup, he closes his eyes.

What a charming young man he is.

[jinisnuggets]

𝕊𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕄𝕖 ℙ𝕋.2

ᵖᵃⁱʳⁱⁿᵍˢ: ˢᵖʸ! ˢᵉᵘⁿᵍᵐⁱⁿ ˣ ⁱᵈᵒˡ ᶠᵉᵐ! ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

ʷᵒʳᵈ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ: 2.2ᵏ

ᵍᵉⁿʳᵉ: ᵃⁿᵍˢᵗ, ˢᵖʸ!ⁱᵈᵒˡ ᵃᵘ, ˢᵉʳⁱᵉˢ

ʷᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ: ˢʷᵉᵃʳⁱⁿᵍ, ˢᵒᵐᵉʷʰᵃᵗ ᵃᵍᵍʳᵉˢⁱᵛᵉ ˢᵉᵘⁿᵍᵐⁱⁿ, ᵐᵉⁿᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃˡᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵃʳᵐⁱⁿᵍ, ᶠᵃᵏᵉ ⁱᵈᵉⁿᵗⁱᵗⁱᵉˢ.

ˢʸⁿᵒᵖˢⁱˢ: ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʷᵉⁱʳᵈ ᵉⁿᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗᵉʳ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃ ᵐᵃⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᶜᵒᵍⁿⁱᶻᵉᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ˡᵒⁿᵍᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ, ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵃᶜᵉ ᵃ ˢᵉʳⁱᵉˢ ᵒᶠ ᵇᵃᵈ ᵉᵛᵉⁿᵗˢ ᵒⁿ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗᵒᵘʳ, ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵉᵉᵗ ᵃ ˢⁱᵈᵉ ʸᵒᵘ'ᵛᵉ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ⁿᵒᵗⁱᶜᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᶠᵃᵐⁱˡⁱᵃʳ ᵍᵘʸ.

ᵃ/ⁿ: ᵖᵃʳᵗ ᵗʰʳᵉᵉ????

ᵇʳⁱᵉᶠ ⁱⁿᵗʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸ ᵇˡᵒᵍ

Seungmin turned over to face the only person he hoped not to see.

L/N Y/N

“My apologies, I didn't mean to interrupt your day.” he bowed as his words exited his mouth.

However, it didn't end there… you recognized this face.

“Oh, no worries. That's alright, I was just confused.”

You let out a small chuckle in order to lighten up the tense mood.

Seungmin got up from his position and smiled lightly.

“I'm sorry to have caused confusion.”

“It’s okay, partially my fault.”

“Oh, don't worry about it, it's okay.”

You were tempted to ask him all the questions you had kept to yourself throughout the past week or 2, however they wouldn't exit your mouth. They were eternally trapped inside with no escape.

“I should get going, I hope to see you around sometime.”

“We will.”

“We will…?*

“Mm, we will, anyways, I'll see you around.”

“Yeah…”

Partially confused, but partially creeped out, you had too much on your mind from your schedules, but this was taking over all those thoughts.

All the words that came out of his mouth were, tender, soothing, low, yet so eiree.

“Y/n?”

“Yes Manager?”

“Are you ready? You took a while, remember we have to get there before 4:00pm.”

“Yes, I remembered, I just got stopped for a moment, my fault.”

“It’s okay, just hurry and get in.”

Entering the car, you shut the door and looked out the window as the car begun moving, you put on your headphones and loaded some music to clear your mind, nothing was working because the words “we will” constantly reappeared in your head, nothing could change it. At the time you never thought this way about any fan, but ever since you ran into Dongyun, you can't think straight. Who was he? Did he have good intentions? Perhaps bad? What about him attracted you to him? It was always just the same questions that you couldn't get an answer too, even though they were absolutely devouring your insides, and you knew you wouldn't be able to perform to your best, all because of these words that just wouldn't stop haunting you.

Before you knew it, you arrived at your location, entering through your assigned entrance and came face to face with a bunch of managers walking around with the idol under them, a lot of big names were currently in the same building as you, although it wasn't a new thing, it never failed to amaze you.

“Okay, Y/n, I need to go this way since I have a meeting, you can go ahead and go to your assigned stylists so she can start preparing you.”

“Got it, how long will you take?”

“I'll be done before you go on stage, hopefully before final rehearsals.”

“So in about an hour or so?”

“Hopefully, yes. I doubt it'll go over 2.”

“Okay, I'll see you later then.”

Your manager nodded and then disappeared into a nearby room, you knew your way around the building, you had been here multiple times throughout your career.

“Hello L/n.”

You turned around to the familiar voice, in an isolated area it made complete sense to hear this voice now.

“Hello.”

“It's good to see you again, you're performing today right?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I bet you'll do amazing.”

You raised an eyebrow and slightly squinted your eyes.

Knowing this wasn't the real Yang Minyung, you saw a lot more flaws in the makeup, hair, and features.

“Are you performing today?”

“Unfortunately, today I'm just here to spectate.”

“That's a bummer, why aren't you? You normally always do.”

“Didn't invite me as an idol today.”

She did a broken heart motion with her hands along with a small frown on her face.

Lie number two, Yang Minyung was always invited to these events without fail, as one of the top soloist, chaos would break loose if she wasn't invited to an event like this.

“That's unfortunate, I'm sorry about that.”

“It's fine, what time will you be up?”

“Around 6:40ish”

“Oh! That's lovely, I can't wait to see you, bet you'll do great.”

“That's very kind, thank you but I have to get going."

“Okay! Fighting!”

Although the ways were separated, you couldn't help but grow chills at the way you ran into her twice in places that only idols could be in, how did she manage to get in without getting caught by any guards? Or how was she able to run into you specifically every time?

Or maybe…

It wasn't an accident…?

You left your bedroom to pick up a glass of water from the kitchen. It was dark and late at night, however you still wanted to finish reading your book, not to mention your skincare was still on.

Getting your glass of water, you started making your way back to your bedroom until you heard a low knock on your door.

It was a bit suspicious judging by how late it was but you decided to look outside from your peephole to try to catch a glimpse of who it could possibly be.

You saw a man, around late 20’s standing outside your door, looking straight at the doorknob…

Immediately pushing back from the door, you turned the double lock and ran to the bathroom quietly, washing off the cleanser that was placed on your face, closing the door and locking it. You heard a couple more knocks until it went silent, and no further noises were heard.

You thought you could hear the sound of two men lightly talking outside your door before walking away, you took a moment and thought about everything, before you realized…

One voice wasn't of a man…

Rather of a woman.

You only saw a man outside your door, so where was the woman?

Opening the door to the bathroom slowly you gathered a couple belongings and called room service, they assured you no one was in your floor and that they would look into it, and so, you left the room and went to another random door.

You took a breath before knocking lightly in hopes of not attracting anyone nearby.

Hearing a couple noises, such as rustles, and footsteps, you knew someone heard you, you let out a sigh and hoped you hadn't knocked on the door of some creep, you waited anxiously, quietly pacing around your spot and hoped whoever knocked on your door was no longer in the building. Thoughts filled your head until you heard the door lightly open.

“Why the hell are you outside in the middle of the fucking night!?”

The voice sounded aggressive, almost angry, you couldn't blame the guy. It was late.

“I'm sorry… could I please ask to sta-”

Unable to finish your sentence because you finally noticed whose door your knocked on.

Non other, than the one and only Dongyun.

However, the thought never settled in upon hearing the sound of approaching footsteps and 2 voices whispering to each other inaudible words.

This was no stranger to Seungmin. He knew exactly why you stood at his door the moment he heard the two voices.

You quickly turned around with a worried look on your face, and before your mouth could even open, Seungmin dragged you into his room, and shutting the door behind him quietly.

“Okay… what's going on?” he said while turning on a dim lamp next to him, he sat down on the table and kept his voice to a minimum..

“How did you know what I-”

“Answer the fucking question. What is going on?”

You paused upon hearing his voice, tired and raspy, angry and deprived.

“I don't know!! I don't know what's going on myself…”

Seungmin sighed in frustration, before turning on his phone and opening up an app.

“Tell me everything you know.”

“I don't know anything!!”

“Don't be silly! What did you see!?”

“Nothing!!”

Seungmin breathed in slowly, and glanced over at you

“Why are you scared?”

“A man… knocked on my door just now.”

He glanced at his screen and started typing.

“What did he do?”

*Just knocked.”

“Did you catch a glimpse of him?”

“Not much… I can't say any features other than the fact he was tall and looked around mid to late 20’s”

“What were you doing when it happened?”

“Getting a glass of water.”

“Did you see him with the woman outside your door?”

“No… it was just him…”

“So while getting a glass of water just now, you heard a knock and saw a mid-late 20 aged man standing outside your door, he knocked multiple times with absolutely no woman in view until her voice was heard speaking to him!?”

“Yes! He was looking at my doorknob, when I looked out the peephole.”

You noticed him type before beginning to dial a number, the phone rang a couple of times before it went to voicemail and he hung up.

He glanced down and groaned in hopelessness before turning back to look at you.

“Well, I guess you can spend the night.”

“Would it be alright?”

“For right now I guess.”

“Thank you so much.”

You put your bag down and sat on the couch, Seungmin glanced on you before sighing.

“Sorry, could I lay here?”

Seungmin nodded lightly before bring his lamp over and putting it over the table.

“Just in case you need it.”

However, you didn't get a chance to thank the guy because he was already making his way back to his bedroom.

“Hey!”

Seungmin turned around to face you, looking a bit annoyed despite being in the dark.

“What now?”

“You… you're Dongyun… from the fan sign right..?”

Seungmin's expression changed, from annoyed to worried. How did you manage to remember him!? Why hadn't you said anything upon seeing him for the first time? Thoughts brushed his head as he looked back at you and began to speak.

“Goodnight.” He began walking to the hotel bedroom, although it wasn't an answer his response was clear.

“Goodnight.”

However Seungmin wasn't going to bed just yet…

He had some work to do.

“Dongyun?”

Work to complete.

You asked, looking up at the tall man hovering over the couch holding 2 cups of a relatively warm drink.

“Take the cup, it's burning my hands.”

“My bad… is this for me?”

“Yes it's for you, I'm not here with anyone.”

Although the response was aggressive, you let out a smile and drank the warm coffee, you needed it after all that happened last night.

Seungmin kept looking at you before beginning to walk away from the couch and over to the hotel kitchen.

“Dongyun!”

You noticed the young man turn around before completely turning his body to face you.

“Let's watch a movie, or a drama, or anything, I brought my computer and it's my free day.”

“Don't you have any schedules?”

“I do, but not until later on, like around 5:00.”

Hesitant, but later giving in and walking over to the couch, you always had something separating the two of you however the distance being so close startled you, but you kept your word and took out your computer.

“What would you like to watch?”

“Drama.”

“So you're a drama guy huh?” You joked.

Seungmin looked over at you and turned away while slightly nodding his head.

“How long have you been watc-”

“Why are you so nosey? Just look for a drama..” he looked away from you in a hurry, as you kept an annoyed stare.

“Fine then. What type of dramas do you watch?”

“Prefer thriller or action...”

You continued to look for a drama you could watch with him and ultimately decided on one, you noticed Seungmin turn after the intro was over.

Why did he even turn away for so long? Were you annoying him a bit? Or were you just being nosey like he mentioned..? Or both, you decided to try not to speak to him throughout the rest of your stay to avoid causing conflict.

The rest of the morning and afternoon with Seungmin was mostly silent, 5:00pm came and you left off to your schedules only to return later that night, you went over to the front desk upon stepping in the building.

“An extra room?”

“Could I get an extra room?”

“Yes.”

“L/N Y-”

“Name?”

“What are you doing?”

Recognizing the voice, you turned around to face the familiar man

“Dongyun!?”

“You're coming with-”

“Why!?” quickly cutting him off before he was able to finish his sentence, he soon turned around to face you, letting out a small sigh after a moment of intense eye contact.

“Listen, sometimes you can't trust someone on their own.”

“I'm a grown adult, I can take care of myself-”

“Maybe you can but others won't allow it.”

For one of the first times you heard him raise his voice higher than he normally kept it, recalling all your interactions, he always had a soft and calm voice, however right now he raised it ever so slightly.

“What..?”

“I'll explain everything if you stay with me for the time being.”

“I can't….”

However, Seungmin didn't wait for your response before grabbing your arm and dragging you into his room.

“What the hell-!?” although, you were unable to finish your sentence, as you felt your back touch a wall, and right in front of you stood the guy who you thought you knew, but realized that the entire Identity he built for you was a lie.

All of it….

Was lies.

[procalpal]

Weekly recap

15 September 2024 | Sunday

Today I thought I would try out intuitive eating, or in other words, attempting to be mindful of what I ate. I started off strong with a glass of chia seed water and some honey.

I then headed to a cafe for some lunch where I ate a ham and cheese pastry and a mug of soy chai latte. After a bit of reading and working out the rest of my weekly schedule, I headed to another cafe to get myself a hot mocha with soy milk. I sat in the library and worked on some passion projects and continued with my book. I spent around 4 hours at the library.

I eventually made my way to the shops to get onto my weekly shopping for the next week. I decided on having wrap for work. Opting for some low carb wraps.

Once I got home, it was still to early to have some dinner, so I had some rice crackers and french onion dip. I probably spent almost two hours just reading and thinking about what I would have for dinner. I finished my book too. Finally I went to the shops and I spent an hour picking things up and putting things back down.

I enjoy shopping, but also hate it with a passion. I spend so much time worrying about the numbers and the nutrients and the costs. I ended up getting jin ramen, a bag of slaw salad, a protein bar and coke no sugar. Actually before going into the grocery store, I did go to an asian grocery store and I bought those hello panda snacks and a box of pepero snacks. I ate those while walking around the grocery store.

I ate my protein bar on my walk home. I also then had my bowl of slaw, and whilst trying to eat my noodles, I think I got about a quarter of the noodles, I stopped eating because I was full enough. And threw it out. I continued to drink the coke to keep me absolutely full and stop me from snacking the rest of the night. Which has worked.

Also I did snack on the banana bread I made yesterday. I cut them up in small pieces so I think I had about 6 pieces throughout the day.

I never calculated calories as strict as I usually do on the weekday, but I think I had about 1500-1700 calories today. I'm not proud of it. But I do know that's my maintenance. So it's okay. I'm gonna spend some time watching 3d tiktoks and get back to normal schedule tomorrow.

I did reach a weight of 51kg when I woke up on Saturday, so that's some good news. I know I will be bloated tomorrow, so my weight will have gone up by a bit, but I'm mentally prepared for that.

I noticed the whole day I was really cold. My fingers and feet especially. The sun was out but the wind was so cold. I had to buy electric blanket and an electric feet warmer from amazon.

[missmaybe-not]

Kiss Me Quick, Ditch Me Faster: The 3 AM Adventure

Greetings, Maybe Nots and Maybe Yeses! Buckle up for a tale that starts with a smoking hot flight attendant and ends with a case of the disappearing acts that would make Houdini blush.

So, you know the drill – online dating, the thrill of the swipe right, the messages that set your phone on fire (literally or figuratively, 😜). This guy seemed like a dream come true: tall, dark, and handsome (those pictures looked like they were sculpted by the gods themselves. Seriously, the man was a walking masterpiece), divorced with a daughter, and living nearby. The catch? My crazy work schedule.

My "day off" coincided with his vacation, but alas, it was four whole days away. Now, I confess, the messaging banter was hotter than a habanero pepper, and patience isn't exactly my strong suit. So, in a moment of supreme (and possibly slightly sleep-deprived) brilliance, I suggested we meet... at the train station... before I went to work. At 3 PM.

Predictably, my date couldn't swing that time (shocker, I know). But hey, he could meet me at the station... after I finished my shift. Which, for those keeping track at home, ended at the ungodly hour of 3 AM.

Yeah, you read that right. Because clearly, that screams "normal first date" like glitter screams "subtlety."

Now, picture this: me, pulling into a deserted parking lot at 3:33 AM, looking more like a character from a zombie apocalypse movie than a potential love interest. But guess what? He showed up! And wouldn't you know it, we actually ended up talking for an hour and a half. Turns out, we had a surprising amount in common (honestly, the universe has a weird sense of humour).

The conversation flowed like cheap wine (which, ironically, wasn't an option at that ridiculous hour). We clicked, we laughed, and then... the kiss. Let me tell you, this guy could have given Casanova a run for his money. It was the kind of kiss that would make fireworks jealous.

Of course, things got a little heated (pun intended!), but a girl's gotta have some standards, right? Besides, a second (or third) date seemed way more appropriate for that kind of action.

We said goodbye, sparks still flying, and the date for later that week was still on. Monday couldn't come fast enough! Except... it did. And guess what didn't? My date. No call, no text, no carrier pigeon delivering a cryptic love note. Crickets. Absolute radio silence.

Finally, at 9:45 PM, a text. A lame excuse that wouldn't fool a five-year-old. Look, I get it, life happens. But a little communication goes a long way, people! After a less-than-stellar attempt at conversation (read: him pushing the "sex on the second date" agenda), I politely deleted his texts and his number.

So, the burning question remains: is this all that men want these days? No romance, no commitment, just a quick hookup? Maybe someday we'll have an answer. But one thing's for sure – this little Miss Maybe Not is still looking for a Maybe Yes who understands the power of a good conversation, the value of respect, and the fact that first dates shouldn't involve deserted parking lots at 3:30 AM.

Stay tuned for more dating adventures (hopefully less creepy and more chivalrous!), and feel free to share your own "Maybe Not" moments in the comments!

Until next time, keep swiping, keep hoping, and most importantly, keep laughing.