Honest Conversations
Pairings: Poly!marauders x disabled!reader
Summary: The boys want to talk about sex.
Warnings: Chronic pain and mentions of sexual dysfunction
Series Masterlist
The bedroom is alive with the soft crackle of the fireplace, its warm light dancing across familiar faces. The armchairs are pushed aside, making room for a nest of blankets and cushions on the floor where you're settled in for the evening. Low chatter fills the space, punctuated by quiet laughter—a symphony of shared history between you and the Marauders.
But tonight, an undercurrent of something more serious tugs at the edges of your awareness. It's an unspoken question that has lingered in the air for some time now, growing heavier with each passing moment.
You shift slightly, your back resting against Remus's chest as he leans against the headboard. His arm is draped around your middle, a comforting presence despite the gravity of what lies ahead. James sits to your right, his hand resting on your thigh, while Sirius occupies the foot of the bed.
There's no awkwardness in the way you all fit together. This closeness is as much a part of you as the magic coursing through your veins.
But tonight, there's a palpable tension threading through the comfort, a silent acknowledgment that the conversation soon to unfold might change everything.
Your kisses with the boys have grown more fervent, their touches lingering, over the past few weeks. It's in the way Sirius's hand brushes against your lower back, how James's eyes linger on your lips, and the subtle shift in Remus's gaze when you're close. Something has changed, deepened. You can feel it, a thrumming undercurrent of desire and longing that threatens to pull you under. And you know they feel it too.
But something holds you back, a nagging thought at the edge of your consciousness. It's not because you don't want this—Merlin, every fibre of your being yearns for them—but because of everything else.
You've played this conversation out in your head a hundred times before, but now it feels different, real. You can't avoid it any longer; you need to talk about it—with them. They deserve to know.
It's Sirius who breaks the silence first.
"So..." He leans forward, elbows braced against his knees. A ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, but it never reaches his eyes, clouded as they are with something akin to regret. "Seems we've all been skirting around the same issue, doesn't it?"
James, ever the pragmatist, quirks an eyebrow, his gaze steady and unyielding. "What Padfoot's trying to say is..." He pauses, choosing his words with care. "Perhaps it's time we addressed the fact that things are escalating."
His voice is light, almost conversational, but there's an undertone that speaks volumes. It's in the tight set of his shoulders, the way his fingers drum a silent tattoo against the his thigh. His eyes meet yours, reflecting both concern and conviction.
You feel Remus shift behind you, an almost imperceptible movement, yet so familiar that your body responds instinctively, leaning back into the warmth he offers.
"There's no need to rush into anything, love," he murmurs, his breath a soft caress against your ear. "We're here for you, whatever you decide."
A nod of understanding passes between you and Remus, and your eyes fall to your hands, picking at an imaginary loose thread on your jeans. "I know," you whisper, the words barely escaping your lips. "It's just..."
You trail off, gathering your thoughts as tension coils in the pit of your stomach. This is it—the tipping point that could either strengthen your bond or shatter the fragile peace you've found with each other. "I want to move forward with this—with all of you. But there are some things you need to understand about me first."
James leans forward, his brows knitting together in concern. "What do you mean, sweetheart?"
You swallow hard, feeling a lump form in your throat. Your fingers dance anxiously over the fabric of your jeans, seeking solace in the familiar rhythm. "Because of my medical issues—my conditions, the chronic pain—sex will be different for me."
Sirius, typically the embodiment of reckless abandon, stills at your words. His brow furrows, not in confusion, but in concentration, as if trying to decipher a particularly tricky piece of parchment. "Just tell us what you need," he says, his voice low and steady. "Whatever it is, we'll handle it. There's no pressure."
A wave of relief washes over you as Sirius's words, genuine and warm, ease some of the tension in your body. You glance at Remus, who gives your hand a comforting squeeze, before turning back to face James and Sirius.
"I've never been able to finish by myself," you confess, your cheeks tinged with a faint blush. "It feels like hitting a wall that you just can't get through." You swallow hard, forcing yourself to continue. "And I rarely get wet, even when I'm aroused, because of the medication I take."
The room falls into silence as they absorb your confession, but there's no judgment in their eyes, no hint of discomfort. Only love, concern, and a deep understanding that makes your heart ache with gratitude.
James reaches out to gently take your other hand, his fingers intertwining with yours in a show of support. "That's okay, love, we'll work it out. And if it never happens, that's fine too. We just want to be here with you, no matter what."
Remus is the next to speak, his voice steady despite the gravity of the conversation. "We can use lube. There are ways to make things easier for you. And we'll always check in, make sure you're comfortable."
You nod, appreciating his patience. "The thing is, physically... I should be able to have sex. Most positions shouldn't cause any problems in theory. But I've never... well, you know. So I can't say for certain how it'll feel in practice. And I don't know if the things I'm worried about will become bigger obstacles when faced with the reality of the situation."
He moves closer, not touching but present, a comforting solidity. "What are you worried about?"
You glance at him, feeling exposed yet compelled to continue. This isn't easy, laying bare your fears and vulnerabilities, but you know it's necessary. "The pain," you admit, your voice hardly above a whisper. "Sometimes it's so bad I can't even move, and I don't know how that would translate into... well, sex." You pause, your fingers absentmindedly twisting the hem of your shirt. "And then there's the worry that I won't... enjoy it as much as I could. That I might need to stop or that something will go wrong."
James's hand comes up to gently cradle your cheek, forcing you to meet his gaze. His voice is steady, a grounding force amidst the whirlwind of uncertainties. "We'll go as slow as you need," he assures you, thumb brushing tenderly against your skin. "The last thing we want is to hurt you. If you need to stop, we stop. No questions asked. You set the pace."
Sirius nods, his usual playful demeanour replaced by a seriousness that underscores the gravity of the situation. "And it's not just about sex," he adds, his grey eyes locking with yours, "it's about being close to you, sharing this part of ourselves with you. If some days we do more, and some days we do less, that's okay. As long as we're in it together."
Remus, ever the voice of reason, leans down and presses a soft kiss to your temple. "You've been open with us about everything so far, and that's all we ask. If something feels wrong, if something hurts, you just tell us. We'll figure it out together."
The knots in your shoulders start to unravel, the conversation not as daunting as you feared it might be. Their responses are everything you need—understanding, patient, loving.
"I don't want to disappoint you," you murmur, the words barely more than a breath.
James's arms encircle you then, pulling you into his chest. His hug is firm but gentle, as if he fears you'll shatter at any moment. "You could never disappoint us," he whispers back, lips brushing against your hair. "We love you, all of you. This isn't about reaching some finish line. It's about being here with you, whatever that looks like."
Sirius edges nearer, his fingers resting lightly on your knee, grounding you in their shared resolve. "And we're not the sort to leave a job half-done, are we?" His voice carries a playful note, attempting to cut through the tension that has woven itself into the air. "We'll figure it out, love."
A small smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, and you lean into them, warmed by their unwavering support. "I know."
Remus's hand moves in soothing circles on your arm, a steady rhythm amidst the storm of uncertainty. "It'll be a learning curve for us all," he admits, his gaze never leaving yours. "But we'll take it one step at a time. And we'll be here—every step of the way."
You study their expressions, finding only warmth and acceptance there, and something inside you unclenches. You'd been dreading this conversation, fearing it might create discomfort or distance, but instead, it seems to have drawn you closer.
"Thank you," you whisper, your voice thick with the emotion of the moment. "For understanding. For being... you."
James's smile is soft as he leans in to press a chaste kiss to your forehead. "No need for thanks. We're the lucky ones, having you."
Sirius shifts, lying down beside you, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your thigh. It's a comforting presence, grounding you when everything else feels like it's spinning out of control. "We'll figure out what works best for you, together. And believe me, we're going to make sure it feels good."
Remus catches your eye, his own so full of understanding that it's almost overwhelming. He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to the curve of your shoulder. "You're safe with us," he murmurs against your skin, his breath warm and comforting. "We'll take care of you."
A smile tugs at the corners of your lips, warmth spreading through you. It's strange and wonderful, this sense of belonging that has blossomed between you and these three men.
James' gaze softens as he watches you, but there's a flicker of something else—curiosity, perhaps, or concern. "This might be a bit presumptuous," he begins, his tone cautious, "but have you thought about contraception? There's a potion for witches, and I know the Muggle world has options."
Your nod is slow, thoughtful. "I'm actually on a Muggle method. An implant. It's more reliable than potions or the pill, and easier to manage. I haven't had a period in... I can't even remember when, but it runs out in summer because it lasts three years."
A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of Sirius's mouth, his grey eyes sparkling with mischief. "That's certainly convenient," he murmurs, a lightness in his voice that attempts to lift the heaviness in the air. "One less thing to concern ourselves with."
His hand slides further up your thigh, and you can't help the sharp intake of breath as a jolt of electricity arcs between you both. Remus shoots Sirius a warning look—part admonishment, part protectiveness—but you merely laugh, feeling more liberated and accepted than ever before.
Remus returns his attention to you, his own hand finding yours atop the table. His thumb traces gentle circles on the back of your hand, each stroke a silent promise of understanding and patience. "We'll move at your pace, love," he assures you, and you hear the sincerity ringing clear and true in his voice. "Whatever you're comfortable with, whatever you need—we're here for you."
Your heart swells with gratitude for these three remarkable men who have somehow become an integral part of your life. The future remains uncertain, but one thing is clear: Whatever comes next, you'll face it together.
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disclaimer; the way this was worded can make it confusing, but these are behaviors or traits in other people the members could potentially feel turned on, and turned off by. enjoy 💌
bts' turn on's and turn off's
based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!
jin
turn on's
fair-minded and balanced
pleasant, gentle, peaceful and patient -> doesn't get angry or riled up easily
understanding of people's needs and okay with adjusting themselves accordingly
gives him the space and alone-time he needs
introspective, wise and intelligent (asks and ponders on the deeper questions in life)
reflects back on their actions and behavior -> is self aware enough to admit when they messed up
has valuable advice to give (it's kind of a pattern, he's definitely drawn to attractive brains and mindsets)
is open-minded and ready for new experiences -> not closed off and hesistant or scared of everything
would like to go on fun trips and activities with him
okay with more of a slow-burn but consistent and stable relationship -> doesn't rush to proceed quickly (like someone who's alright with getting to know each other slowly, maybe even start as his best friend first)
turn off's
overly emotional and dramatic (he'd feel overwhelmed and eventually drained)
but also too cold and severely detached (someone who has no sympathy for the people around them)
acts cowardly and avoids facing the consequences of their own actions
uselessly mean and cruel with their words
too proud and self-centered -> puts themselves and their own needs above others
full of selfish greed and doesn't know how to appreciate and be grateful for what they already have
clings to him and gets too possessive or controlling
too focused on superficial values (like money, fame, reputation, material possessions, etc..)
never satisfied with themselves nor the people around them -> keeps nagging, complaining and just spreading unpleasant energy
feels attacked quickly, takes everything personally and gets defensive right away
suga
turn on's
has a strong and transformative effect on the people around them (powerful presence, lingers in your mind)
knows what it's like to struggle and has gained inner strength from the experience (i.e. he thinks it's impressive to hear stories about how someone overcame a seemingly hopeless situation and learned from it in hindsight)
therefore has a good understanding of life and a lot of wisdom (keeps intriguing him with their mindset, words, thoughts, etc.)
deep and complex personalities
i keep hearing “dark”, i can see him liking when people are dressed in black, have darker hair, tattoos, etc.
doesn't insert themselves in unnecessary drama or conflicts and doesn't engage in childish gossip
has a good eye for detail and is quietly observant -> remembers the minor things about others (i.e. he'd love if his partner overheard him talking about a specific gift he wants and secretly bought it for him)
generous and giving to their loved ones (gifts really are the way to his heart)
very clever, quick-witted -> challenges him mentally
turn off's
doesn't have their priorities straight
delusional and overly unrealistic
too childish and emotionally immature
stuck in the past -> holds endless grudges and keeps bringing up old incidents
too naive and optimistic all the time -> doesn't wanna acknowledge reality for what it is, actively avoids negativity and runs away from their problems
takes unnecessary risks, is too wild and untamed (like a loose cannon type of free spirit he can't keep track of)
too simple-minded -> doesn't comprehend or care about the deeper things in life
he's likely to just not vibe with overly protected and overly privileged people who've never had to go through any hardship in their life
cares too much about being liked by everyone and gets obsessed over what people think
doesn't know how to assert themselves and actively avoids confrontation
j-hope
turn on's
very talented or skilled at something (especially in an artistic field)
humble, grounded and always eager to expand their knowledge and improve their craft
self-aware -> can recognize and admit to their mistakes
but doesn't linger and dwell on them too much -> knows how to grow and learn from their failures
chooses their battles wisely -> doesn't engage in unnecessary conflict and arguments (peacemakers who don't like fighting)
soft- and kindhearted (someone with pure intentions)
has a strong sense of responsibility and duty
carries a lot of inner strength and resilience
knows how to take care of themselves and decorate their own garden -> doesn't always need to rely on people to do the hard work for them
doesn't beat around the bush too much and expresses themselves in a clear manner
tbh, i keep getting that he's just very into self-development. he feels drawn to people who are always set on becoming the best version of themselves and would love to be on their side for that journey
turn off's
overly selfish and greedy for material things -> doesn't enjoy sharing or taking other people's needs into consideration (like if someone turned out to be hoarding money secretly he'd get the ick majorly)
gets overly controlling or possessive of him
behaves like a stubborn know-it-all and refuses to listen to his side of the story
too secretive and closed off from him -> keeps confusing him and sending mixed signals
puts on too much of a mysterious and hard-to-get act
too negative, pessimistic and dark
doesn't tell him about their thoughts or feelings leaving him wondering and worrying
deceptive (like someone who tries to cover up their mistakes and isn't upfront and genuine in the things they do, only does it for the show)
refuses to change, even if deep down they know they would need to (i.e. because it negatively impacts their connection)
bottom of deck was the two of cups. i kept getting this very forgiving and accepting energy from him, where it doesn't seem like he has these extremely specific expectations. he's okay with his partner not being perfect, because as long as he genuinely loves them, he's willing to work on their downfalls together. very sweet energy. (probably my favorite out of bts)
namjoon
turn on's
has a lot discipline, drive and willpower
knows how to keep their focus on their goals and doesn't allow anyone to stand in their way -> very determined and ambitious
courageous and willing to take on tasks others avoid (like the person who steps up first to do the hard work no one else wants to do)
capable of enduring and withstanding life's trials in a strong manner
likes to be a source of support and guidance for the people around them
uses their resources or platform for a higher good (i.e. someone who donates money to the less fortunate or helps out the homeless, likes doing volunteer work)
knows how to be grateful, as well as appreciate and count their blessings
capable of creating deep, meaningful and emotionally intimate connections to people
loves deeply and intensely
possessive and protective over what belongs to them (can see this applying to not only material goods, but also the people they're close to -> someone who looks after their territory)
turn off's
overly delusional and unrealistic
has their head in the clouds and rose-colored glasses on all the time
doesn't know what they want in life and struggles to make clear decisions -> keeps leading people on
refuses to admit their faults and doesn't learn from their mistakes -> keeps themselves stuck and self-sabotages
too lazy to work for their own success and sucks up to people in the spotlight in order to benefit from them (don't hate me but i can see him feeling turned off by privileged chaebols or nepo babys who didn't really work for their own success)
has no control over their emotions or rage -> explodes or lashes out on people
lets their frustration out on the people around them
unreliable and doesn't stick to their words -> says one thing but ends up doing another
acts irresponsibly and recklessly
doesn't know how to take life seriously and cracks jokes at inappropriate times
tactless and ill-mannered (like he'd feel the ick if someone laughed inappropriately during the discussion of a serious matter)
he had so much to say for the turn off's. he definitely gives me this vibe of having very high standards. i can sense this balance of tough love and thoughtful empathy in him, which definitely makes him an impressive and commendable leader. it's kinda like he was made for the role, really.
jimin
turn on's
intelligent, articulate and eloquent speakers -> always finds the right thing to say in the right moment
capable of being logical and objective when the situation calls for it
level-headed and swift at making decisions (he's someone who can struggle with this a lot, which is why he can feel drawn to a person who's more decisive and clear in their thought-process than him)
isn't afraid to argue and knows how to confidently hold their ground in a strong but diplomatic manner, without crossing lines
however self-aware enough to know when it's time to step back and admit they're wrong
loyal, committed and dedicated to everything they do
seeks peace and quietness (he enjoys intimate and relaxing alone-time with the person on his side, and wants them to feel like a break from all the stress)
has an inspiring, uplifting and encouraging effect on the people around them
capable of understanding his emotional needs and attuning their behavior, actions and words to them (he can need a little bit of sugarcoating sometimes)
has a profound capacity of connecting to people on a deep and emotional level
turn off's
acts like they're entitled to have a say in his life and allows themselves to command him around
too traditional, conservative and narrow-minded -> judgemental towards people different to them
childish and emotionally immature (example: throws a fit and acts like an offended child once told about their wrongdoing without acknowledging their mistakes. most members seem to not like that in a person)
lack of integrity and weak moral compass
doesn't care about adjusting their actions to the situation and struggles understanding their need to do so
tactless and impolite (especially verbally)
lacks empathy and compassion for their loved ones -> too emotionally detached and cold in relationships
gets a kick out of hurting and offending others
taehyung
turn on's
has an intriguing and mysterious aura to them -> awakens his curiosity and makes him want to get to know them closer
is more closed off and private about their life matters (a person who just gives off this impression that no one actually knows them)
can give off a cold aura but is much more passionate and enthusiastic about their personal endeavors than what meets the eye (also doesn't feel the need to rub their success or achievements into people's faces)
has depth and complexity to their personality -> knows how to talk about deeper and serious subjects in life
but can also have fun, be playful and whimsical at times
he loves duality
someone who's usually mature, grounded and disciplined but also carries this inner child-like excitement about life
trustworthy, dependable and responsible
dedicated and committed to him
capable of maintaining a good work-life balance
turn off's
too lazy and doesn't hold themselves to any sort of standards (like they don't care about improving themselves in any way out of comfort)
too deadbeat, boring, uptight and serious all the time
has an outdated and overly conservative attitude
stuck in their own beliefs and condemning towards views different to their own
not appreciative and very “meh” about the important people in their lives -> doesn't care to put in any effort into their relationships
too self-centered and only focused on their own desires
clouded and blinded by their emotions all the time -> lacks decisiveness
too emotionally needy and whiny
thinks they're superior him to him or entitled to tell him what to do -> acts controlling
jungkook
turn on's
he loooves a chase and having to work for their attention -> inaccessibility can intrigue and attract him (i.e. if a group of people showed interest in him, the one who doesn't would stand out and catch his attention more)
has strong values and convictions -> isn't afraid to uphold their principles and defend themselves or their loved ones when the situation calls for it
intelligent, eloquent and articulate speaker -> good with words (he likes beautiful and melodic voices too, would love to just sit and listen to his s/o talk for hours)
has clear objectives and goals in life -> knows exactly what they want and how to get it (will make it clear to him as well, isn't a simping yes-man who just adapts themselves to him all the time)
knows their worth and doesn't give in to people quickly
successful but humble about their achievements
loyal and committed to the people they love
stands behind their words and keeps their promises
polite and well-mannered
brings a sense of stability and comfort to the people around them (like a person who's this dependable and reliable pillar for their loved ones)
has a good balance of more “masculine” and “feminine” energy -> someone who can be dominant, powerful and assertive but also nurturing, loving and soft
he likes playful push and pull (like giving in for a kiss and stopping just timely enough to leave him wanting more)
turn off's
too competitive, egocentric and greedy -> doesn't know how to give in or grant others their rightful spotlight
ill-mannered, discourteous and tactless -> isn't capable of reading the room and acts impulsively without consideration for the people around them
impolite and offensive with the way they speak
constantly negative and pessimistic -> always finds something to complain about and ruins the mood
lets out their frustrations on the people around them
acts superior to others with nothing to back it up with (basically an inflated ego)
sucks up to him, puts on a fake act just to impress him (like a simp who just plays mr/ms perfect for him, he isn't easily fooled and can see through someone pretending to be something they're not)
too secretive and mysterious -> unsettles him, makes him question their motives (someone who keeps making him feel like they're hiding something and have an ulterior motive or hidden agenda)
doesn't commit to what they say -> leads him on, says they'll do one thing but end up doing another
i kinda struggled explaining this but i got the ace of wands plus the world. basically means a spark of passion, a new beginning, but putting an end to it before it could develop further -> he wants someone who's in it for the longterm and not just a one-time thing.
jk essentially just needs to feel the sincerity behind someone's intentions and actions. he doesn't trust people easily anymore and gets suspicious. he can easily feel turned off by people who are obviously just sucking up to him or making him feel like they want to be with him for the wrong reasons.
obviously, he wouldn't wanna be with a person who only sees him as someone they can benefit from. he's used to people simping for him (it's giving “been there done that, don't want that anymore”), so he can feel drawn to people who don't really care; since that'd mean they're more likely to overlook his status, fame, etc. and look at him as a person, rather than an idol, fantasy or an opportunity for their own good.
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Even putting aside what a ridiculous comparison that is, I need it understood that the primary way transradfems engage with "material reality" is through movies from the previous century.
It's hypervisibility vs. invisibility. Trans women were openly mocked and trans men were ignored or just subsumed into a range of experiences for cis women. That's changing now that trans men are getting more spotlight than they had before, although it's still tilted in those directions.
But there was genuinely nothing transphobic about Chihiro's story and to say there was you have to prove his model was trans women and transitioning children when there is an extremely well-established category of AMAB people who present as girls in Japanese culture that is infinitely more talked about in pop culture over there. You have to insist upon the fact that he was ever connected to people who sincerely identify as girls in the first place. If this was America, it'd make more sense, but it is actually just genuinely racist to be told all that and still be like "well, but it makes me think of trans women."
This is why transradfems hate me, too. A trans woman disagreeing with them breaks their rules.
Especially the person who cannot stop fucking bypassing my block to screenshot my blog and then justifying it by claiming I do it, even though I fucking deleted those posts after she complained and have not mentioned her a single time since unless she did first. I didn't screenshot her screenshot calling me a pro-American because I think memes are funny but am not literally unironically in favor of 9/11, but fuck it:
This fucking idiot. Here's the thing: I DON'T THINK NOT WANTING TO ASSOCIATE WITH AGAB LANGUAGE IS UNREASONABLE AT ALL! But it's fucking projecting as fuck to say that people who don't like TMA/TME language must simply want to cling to AGAB. I mean, holy fuck, right? That's not what's being argued dumbass - but she can't think of any other way to divide trans people based on AGAB without referencing it in some way, so her ideal replacement is TMA/TME, that's the two kinds of trans people that exist, you're not AMAB or AFAB you're TMA or TME, this is so fucking masks off it's wild that other transradfems aren't mortified by her saying the quiet part out loud. This should just completely obliterate every trace of protest when someone points out TME is in practice exclusively used to refer to AFAB trans people and no one else ever, unless what she's actually saying is that AFAB trans people are so close to cis women that they might as well just by default be called the same thing and have no other way of identifying themselves when you talk about categories of trans people and their experiences.
But it's so intensely psychologically revealing. I don't think she's ever been misgendered a single time in her life. I don't think she's ever had even the slightest actual barrier to hop in her quest to live as a woman, because this oversensitivity where someone acknowledging transphobes see us as our assigned sex counts as them misgendering you? That's just not the behavior of someone who actually deals with these things in the real world. Or even online. Again, I get pedojacketed and threatened with actual cancelation from my actual career because I engage with actual TERFs. These people never do anything but moan about tee-em-ees misgendering them by discussing how the enemy perceives us. And she in particular is the most desperate to shut that out, because that is the only reminder there could ever possibly be a hypothetical obstacle to her claiming her girl card. I have zero doubt she lives in the queerest city on the planet and if she didn't have internet she would literally be unable to even conceive of transphobia as a concept. And she fucking hates me for not just being a trans woman who agrees with the transandrobros, but also personally identifies with my AGAB. The implication that it's possible for a trans woman to be okay with the term "male" shatters her self-esteem. That is the extent of "misgendering" she has ever faced and ever will face. Me identifying the way I do terrifies her, I have to be objectively wrong about claiming identification with my AGAB because she copes with insecurity by imagining a world where TERFs are right but instead of biology everyone's soul is either Male and Female and you can only be one or the other. Gender can't just be people figuring out who they are and the ways they want to express themselves and live their lives, that's not real enough for her, she has to be Trve Fymyle the way TERFs go on about, except instead of centering around wombs it's this weird vaguely spiritual concept that she forces everyone else to fit into because if they don't it implies her framework isn't the tangible reality she so desperately needs to feel valid.
And that's why she "needs" TMA/TME, because she reasonably wants to talk about the experiences of people who share her category but doesn't want to identify as anything that references what those experiences fucking are (e.g. having been assigned male at birth). And again, that's FINE. I GET THAT. THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. I CAN SEE HOW THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. But that doesn't mean TMA/TME doesn't also have issues and I'm sorry if she's having a hard time coming up with something else because it's difficult to navigate the inherent paradox of wanting to associate with something that unfortunately makes her feel bad to associate with it, but she needs to pick something else, and not say "weh the TMEs are making us change our language" as though (a) transradfems aren't telling trans men what language they can use for themselves and (b) it's impossible to come up with terms that don't explicitly make claims about the experiences of others and 100% defines them by suffering less.
And isn't it strange how other transradfems are insisting they have to call themselves CAMAB and CAFAB, but THEY aren't clinging to AGAB language? Weird, right? I mean there is a group of people insistently arguing that it is simply paramount that we use AGAB language, but they're perisex trans women stealing it from intersex people so I guess it's fine?
But I don't CARE. I don't like her and I don't want to look at her stupid blog and I sure as fuck don't want to report on it. I just wish she'd stop talking about me. I literally just want her to stop block evading me and telling people my identity revolves around wanting to suck up to TERFs*. I do not talk about her except when she talks about me. AND I'M STILL NOT EVEN NAMING HER.
When she complained about me screenshotting her posts, I deleted them. They got zero notes. Her screenshots of me have hundreds and she keeps taking them because she's fucking obsessed because she can't feel like a girl if someone else identifies a little differently than she does. I don't even screenshot other people if they have me blocked but I see other people debating their takes, I make a post that references no one with unspecified prompting. And I've never done even done that with her, not only because she keeps baselessly accusing me of harassment, but because she infuriates me on a level where I just sincerely do not like seeing her fucking content in any way for any reason.
God I fucking hate radfems.
*which she happily admits to knowing is a lie but is like "yeah well I say she's mean so I'm going to keep deliberately fabricating falsehoods about her"
Thank you. <3
I have enlightened another soul!
If you asked these people, ten times out of ten they would say detransition and rape are the worst things that can possibly happen to someone and murder is no comparison, but they'll see trans men talking about their sexual abuse to be like "wow so lucky you guys just have to LARP The Handmaid's Tale, but we get KILLED."
And it's like. Okay. But fuck off, though? It's fine to personally see murder as worse and to grieve more over that, ig, it's like, whatever, but to openly state that it's a PRIVILEGE to be raped and detransitioned makes my brain melt. It's like they are physically incapable of not putting down other trans people. It is the one single area of activism they engage in. That is the war they are waging. They don't give a fuck about trans rights because they live in privileged areas with supportive families. Their battle is with the TME trans people on social media.
lolllll
"I hate how misogynistic Velvet is, she's everyone's cumrag"
^actual thing actually said and believed by the TMA/TME tankies
Before anyone accuses this anon of saying transradfems are engaging in male behavior or whatever, I'll note as I always have that they're just as sexually predatory and entitled to the bodies of others as TERFs are. That is the actual comparison being made. The worst trans women are identical to the worst cis women. Diversity win.
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