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#the one that made me hurt the most
m4nym03 · 1 year
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“Villain, I have done thy mother”
Titus Andronicus (Act 4, Scene 2)
Shakespeare? Buddy? You want to tell me what's going on right here, hm? Because that sounds like a medieval "your mom" and not comfortable feeling what I am right now.
Explain???
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andthebeanstalk · 11 months
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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turtleblogatlast · 2 months
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Mentioned this before but as much as I adore the medic Leo headcanon, my favorite type of it is when it’s basically just Leo knowing the most surface level of stuff and carrying around a super basic first-aid kit in his pack. So he knows how to use gauze, and he’s got a ton of Jupiter Jim branded bandaids, and if you really needed it then he can hit you up with some ibuprofen but other than that? Nothing.
But. I love the idea that that changes post-invasion.
They’re pretty sturdy, all of them, so they can take more than one beating and really only need a bandaid for the fun of it. But the invasion hit harder than ice packs and “lots of rest” would help with, and I can bet that a post being beaten to a pulp Leo would have a lot of time on his hands to reflect and, maybe, learn a thing or two as he waits to get better.
It’s nothing excessive, not at first, but he watches veterinary videos, and live surgeries, and other videos in that same realm (because the books are, uh, a bit too jargon-y for him) multiple times over. Just so he knows. Just in case he needs to know.
In his pack, there’s a first-aid kit. With the use of a mini portal for extra space, the kit has grown to include everything from scalpels to butterfly stitches to sutures to even fiberglass patches.
And obviously the Jupiter Jim brand bandaids stay too.
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beatcroc · 1 year
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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gustavo and brick#arting#pizzaposting#so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that#and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it#not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine#he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to#who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower#making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino#i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now#nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact#he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that#and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine#is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf#gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo#pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here#''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months
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Truth and revenge is best served cold.
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vaguely-concerned · 7 months
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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daenerysies · 4 months
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why are alicent stan’s so gleeful about what the show has done to her character? book-wise she was an antagonistic, ambitious, manipulative woman who knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it; versus the show, where she has been turned into a constant victim to the men around her with no autonomy or agency what-so-ever. whether it’s otto, viserys, aegon, larys, she’s been reduced to a hypocritical, bitter, puppy-eyed woman with no want for anything in her own life; just a doll to be played around with and eventually discarded.
instead of being the calculating and intelligent woman who dog walks viserys up until his death (and even after) she's now his victim because of the decision to age her down to 15 rather than 18 like her canon age, and in turn age viserys up in order to further emphasize the age-gap and power dynamics. she is portrayed as an abusive mother on screen (physically and mentally to aegon, mentally to helaena and aemond), falling into the 'abused becomes the abuser' trope, which is a rather harmful stereotype. she told aegon that he would be king, but then began having 'second thoughts' when the actual usurpation took place, of which she apparently had no idea, "am i to understand that members of the small council have been planning secretly to install my son without me?" once again reducing her to a pawn of the men around her. these second thoughts took place because of her apparent 'reconciliation' with rhaenyra, as if a few words and hand holding could ever undue the years she spent undermining rhaenyra and attempting to have her and her children disinherited and shamed (mayhaps even killed due to the bastard rumors). she is now a victim to larys as well. larys, despite his lower standing than her THE QUEEN, is able to 'manipulate' her into doing sexual favors for him in order for her wishes to be granted. she has no control over the men around her and no respect from any of them because they know she is willing to bend over backwards to please them. she openly admits that she knew her father had been manipulating her for years, and she still fed into his bullshit. she only wants aegon to be king due to her 'misunderstanding' the words of a drugged up and dying man (and it being HIS 'wish' for aegon to succeed him, not hers). her only want in the show is 'to make a window in the wall of her prison.'
the greens were named for HER in the book. not aegon. not otto. not house hightower. her.
“the beacon on the hightower, do you know what color it glows when oldtown calls it’s banners to war?”
“green.”
except that it doesn’t in canon. house hightower’s only set color is grey, and their only beacon is the regular depiction of red and orange fire. there is no green to be scene anywhere to represent the hightower’s or oldtown or their beacon. the color green didn't have any meaning to her. alicent chose it for herself. she wasn’t ’showing off her allegiance to her father and house after being scorned by the targaryens’ it was a political statement that she CHOSE TO MAKE for herself. she was the leader of team green and was the main culprit in usurping rhaenyra and crowning aegon. she didn’t do it for her father, or her house, or viserys; she did it for herself, because SHE wanted aegon to be king.
there are ways to add complexities to characters without completely changing everything about them, and what they stand for. alicent might have partially fallen into the evil step-mother trope in the book, but considering it’s a historical account; we have next to no information on how she really feels. they could have deep dived into her feelings regarding the succession, how marrying the king without a male heir should have given her the privilege of being the future king’s mother, instead finding out the harsh reality; that viserys would not remove rhaenyra as heir, and that she was negated to only being the king’s wife and giving him spares. they could have played into how complicated her relationship with rhaenyra is, how angry and self-righteousness she would have felt considering the only reason viserys was made king was due to male preference primogeniture. why she felt the need to isolate and bully a child because of said child's father’s decisions. there were plenty of other roads that the writers could have taken to add actual nuance into alicent’s story, and not just adding in more unnecessary and brutal violence towards women.
all of this to say that aging her down and turning her into nothing more than a abused child-bride was not the way to go to add nuance to her story. women shouldn’t have to be tortured, neglected, raped, abused, etc. in order for the audience to like and feel sympathy for their character. that’s an inherently sexist and abhorrent point of view, and considering how virtue signaling a lot of her fans are it’s not surprising that they’re willing to overlook it for the sake of continuing their poor baby alicent ‘always a victim to the men in her life’ rhetoric; as if that was ever a core part of her character.
what they gave us in house of the dragon was not the real alicent hightower, just a cheaply made original character with alicent’s name slapped on her in place of a discount sticker. hotd's biggest crime was reducing powerful ambitious women to side pieces in the big bad men's war. why do women in this universe have to suffer in order for the audience to feel sympathy for them and their plight? and no, i'm not going to argue with anyone going, "b-but OBVIOUSLY you just don't understand her character uwu," i understand her plenty, thanks.
if you actually like alicent (or any of the women in general) in fire and blood you should be seething in outrage over house of the dragon's portrayal of them.
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starry-bi-sky · 2 months
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i made a rough timeline for the clone^2 au, just for my own convenience sake when dating things. some things might be out of order from the episode date, and thats also for my convenience.
September 3rd: Danny, age 14, has the accident in the lab that turns him liminal
September 10th: Danny is discharged from the hospital and given two weeks leave from school
September 24th: his sick leave ends, and Danny returns to school
October 14th: Danny sneaks into his parents' basement and releases the ghosts they have trapped in cages. Official birth of the vigilante, Phantom
November 27th: Danny fights Pariah Dark, and wins
December 24th: the Ghost Writer torments Danny
February 12th: Danny's 15th birthday
March 3rd: its been six months since Danny's accident
March 7th: Danny fights his evil future self
May 8th: Danny meets Ellie [age 15] and they become twins
December 14th: Danny finds out from his parents that he's a clone
February 12th: Danny's 16th birthday
Early-Mid April: Danny meets Damian [age 6] :)
Mid-Late April: Damian runs off for the first time, damages Danny's hands the first time
May: Damian runs off two more times in the span of three weeks, he damages Danny's hands both times.
Early June: Damian runs off one more time, damages Danny's hands again, resulting in permanent nerve damage.
Mid-Late June: Damian finally gives up on the League coming to get him and joins the Fenton Family.
July: Damian finally coaxes Danny into letting him come along with him on patrol: Wraith is born.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#this only focuses on the earlier parts of the au because those are most important imo. figuring out when danny's accident was. when he#became phantom. when he met damian. etc. is all pretty important stuff and helps me figure out ages beyond '10 year gap'#not super important stuff to much anyone else i think but its nice to have it written down as reference#i usually put danny's accident as happening at the beginning of the school year. tis convenient that way#me: hmmm when do i make danny find out he's a clone. beginning of the school year makes the most sense right???#me:....or.... i could ruin his christmas again :)#thought about increasing the amount of times damian runs off but... thats a LOT of time he's run off and i didnt want to go overboard#same thing with danny's hands. thought about hurting him more frequently but honestly taking a blade to the hand is already damaging enough#on its own. catch a blade with his hands four times would be enough to cause permanent nerve damage and also he would have learned his#lesson if it happened more frequently.#so damian runs off 4 times in the span of essentially 2 months#and four times danny catches his blade. three times he got cut. one time he needed stitches#anyways thats the timeline for now. made totally for convenience sake and no other reason#totally dont look at my google docs there’s nothing there but half forgotten wips and cfau master doc
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I think Slay the Princess is so popular partially because the *gets stabbed* "I'm in love" reaction is both intentional on the part of the developers and then they completely follow through on it.
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ntj2pj · 1 month
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#madness combat#madcom oc#my oc#atp soldat#the soldat in the dark (tm) actually cares about his bro#a lot#but he just can't get sad when he warned him about this shit nonstop#no id#The bitten guy just acts too friendly because his program made him too altruistuc and kind#Which sometimes helps since he is one who recruits workers#Well#Probably it's more benefitial most of the time#But he gets in shit like “oh i just wanted to help civilian get out from dangerous location and they stabbed me :(((”#And he ain't bullied for it by anyone but his bro. He is too... Kinda. Uh. Hard to bully guy who is most safest option to talk with auditor#And not die lol. It also doesn't help that he is guy who knows all of the AAHW by names and will kick you hard for bullying anyone#So bullying him is a privilege of some atp soldats#not an option :D#Other soldat here is just walking anger issues and he got no friends other than his bro. Constantly lashes at anyone. The Bitten™ included#So they're got that dynamic of angry antisocial cynical guy and pessimist & optimistic kind dude (well#(well he got a lot of mental issues too#But doesn't show it and never let it hurt others.)#And he is much older than the pessimist :'D#Pessimist guy is very young actually. But just experienced shit nonstop from birthday and lost very much everyone he cared about#And the second one... just atp soldat with no past. never known any other thing than work in AAHW and orders. Easy to manipulate#He also gets “You're not a real person” a lot for it. And constanly offended by it. But it's a problem of all yellow bloods here#Especially him#since he litterally didn't had a life outside from aahw. Also don't think he wouldn't kick his friends hard for orders.#Kill even. He is a dog for orders first#Kind guy with good morals is only second
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jay-wasreblogging · 1 month
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When someone says JohnLock is canon in *insert adaptation* but it's just one-sided, unrequited love johnlock
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pierremcguire · 25 days
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another 2015 draft class alignment chart
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So was anyone going to tell me Faust is a bigger menace than EVERYONE in the game put together or like. Was I supposed to play the Impossible Choices event (Vincent and Charles ver) myself. I LOVE that he's the definition of: 'being smarter doesn't make me more mature or helpful, it just makes my inherent lust for chaos/entropy all the more unstoppable' This shit FUCKS
I think this is the first time I've ever seen a character make Shakespeare's life a living hell and the latter didn't expect/see it coming, that was AMAZING. Mf was out here like "What the hell??? You lot don't make me suffer I make YOU suffer. Let a man obsess IN PRIVACY" and then nobody cared. Peak comedic interaction, no notes everyone pack it up
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yellowocaballero · 24 days
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Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?
Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!
I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.
I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.
I am going to talk about the prologue.
The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.
Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.
But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.
They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.
I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?
Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.
Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.
At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.
What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.
It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.
But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.
ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?
When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.
#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences#i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason#its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience#that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told#it's. incredible.#in stars and time#start again start again start again#start again: a prologue#isat#god and there is so so so so much more to say here#what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby#i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all.#i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did#but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim#and i write about it a lot#and video games about being video games are wonderful#as are stories about being stories#and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us.#never played a video game that used its medium so well#i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think#stories about stories have to be about why we love stories#and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art#i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while.#some people need to be anywhere but here#and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever#baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot
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moeblob · 28 days
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast
#shit was Black#literally was in my kitchen Wailing about them and forgot the bread slices i put in the toaster oven three seconds prior#s'ok i made a new set but oughhhhhh i am still sooooooo so unwell about them....#OUGHHHHHHH THEMMMMMMM#theyre just... snf.... theyre just two silly goofy guys in love....#silly goofy fruity fellas and they love each other <3#SIDE NOTE GINGER SPREAD ON HONEY/BUTTER TOAST ABSOLUTELY FUCKS TRUST ME ON THIS#absolutely unprompted#but yea i was specifically thinking about that fic i have in my head#yall know the one by now. the one i desperately want to write and I SWEAR I WILL EVENTUALLY#but the fuckin... Misunderstanding... it makes me insaneeeee#its the most unhealthy part of their relationship AND THEY ARENT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP YET#damn theyre so healthy. theyre so. wails screams howls#but howdy being an oblivious idiot to his own emotions is so important to me#mans is whip smart & quick in every other area#but in this One Subject hes dumb as a rock & that hurts both of them <3#but it also turns into something they can cry w/ laughter over later#someone asks how they got together. they exchange a look. and burst out howling#full on wheeze-laughing Cannot Form Words#y'see most couples would have some lingering 'i cant believe you did that' and/or guilt#but barn & howdy would just find it hysterical. full on 'remember when you-' 'yeah lmfao'#THEYRE SOOOOOO <3#yknow if i ever find someone i want to have a partner-esque relationship. i want to have what laughingstock has#i do genuinely believe that howdy might have feelings for barn#but i like to live in the delusional world of my mind where they're Established <3#grabbing them and slamming them together like a violent 5 yr old playing with dolls#kiss! kiss damn you!
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