#the one with the crib i just remember at night

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 22)

Uzi did finally get that baby bag.

It wasn't much, a glorified swaddle made from a purple blanket that wrapped around her torso so that Tera could rest at her side without pulling while she walked around. It had been almost scary, she'd seen new mothers walk around with them all the time when she was younger.

And now… here she was, baby strapped to her side as she went home. Home as in, her dad's apartment, her apartment, or maybe not anymore, after today.

N had gone off to pick up the newly made crib early that morning, yes morning. Neither of them had needed to go outside for a least a week, and they're schedules were starting to cycle back into what other drones would consider normal.

But even then it gave them a little time to talk about how raising Tera was going to work.

Her room in her apartment was too small to raise a baby in, it was almost too small for her, with stuff just shoved unceremoniously wherever there was room. It was too messy, and dangerous! Her railgun was still in peices on the couch, and while it was broken there were still several parts that could discharge and hurt someone.

Which left N's apartment, which had plenty of room, as it was nearly empty, he'd brought in the very little stuff he owned (blankets, pillows and plush toys) but all of that easily fit in the bedroom with plenty of room to spare.

Plenty of room for her stuff.

And that thought on it's own made her fluster, they'd spent plenty of nights together, especially recently. But it had always been under the pretense that she'd be going back home eventually. That she didn't live there.

Robo-god she was about to see her dad. Her dad which had zero context for what she was about to unleash on him. That her and N were together now, that he had a granddaughter, that she was… moving out.

So much had happened this week. Hell, so much had been happening almost every week. And all of it was stressful, wether it be life threatening or just life changing, it seemed like after years of nothing happening, it was all catching up with her with everything happening at once.

“Doorman?” A voice she recognized, a voice she really didn’t want to see, preferably ever, but especially not right now, with Tera awake and babbling from her bag.

“What is it Lizzy?” She deadpanned, not bringing any attention to the baby strapped to her side even though that was clearly what caught the other drones attention, her pink eyes locked to the bag in surprise.

“Oh shit, that was actually your kid?” Lizzy immediately asked, making Uzi roll her eyes as she remembered that Lizzy was the one that had initially exposed her.

“Yup. This is Tera.” Admitting it at first felt strange, like her tongue had wanted to reject it, but it quickly settled into contentment, yeah, this was right. And honestly, trying to make Lizzy feel bad about something felt too good to say anything else.

“I had wanted to keep some things private, but somebody took a picture of us bringing her home.” Yeah she wasn't going to let Lizzy get away with that without a jab or two, she'd caused a bigger headache than what was already happening, and Uzi was itching for some revenge, even if it was just light teasing.

“Oh come on! Like you wouldn't have done the same thing.” She snapped back, although she sounded less bratty than usual, although wether that was V's influence or the fact a baby was present was unclear.

“Snapped a picture, totally, blackmail is blackmail, immediately post it to every inbox in range… No.” She replied, not wanting this conversation to last much longer than it had to, she didn't particularly like Lizzy, her being a main source of her suffering for a long time.

She just needed to get that jab in.

Lizzy just scoffed, looking her up and down and crossing her arms as if searching for something, probably something else to mock her for, Uzi found herself rolling her eyes again, turning to walk away from her and the conversation before Lizzy started talking again.

“Sorry or whatever, I thought you were just babysitting or something. Didn't think it'd be a big deal.”

Holy Shit, was Lizzy apologizing?

“Uh.” Honestly Uzi wasn't sure how to respond, she'd wanted her to feel bad sure, but she wasn't sure if that was even possible, and she'd never in a million years think she'd be hearing Lizzy apologize.

“Yeah, sure.” Is what came defensively out of her mouth as she walked away, Tera blew a raspberry at Lizzy from the bag, giggling when she got pink hollow eyelights in return.

Okay, so maybe she could keep her edginess and still be motherly figure to Tera, that hadn't occurred to her as an option, a part of her thought she'd become a different person, and maybe she was around N and Tera behind closed doors, but here? She didn't feel soft, she felt like she always did, slightly bitter, like licorice.

She passed more drones on her way, some didn't seem to notice her which was absolutely fine with her, but some definitely did, stopping and staring at the neighborhood goth carrying around a giggling baby in a cute little purple swaddle.

She could understand why they were staring, it was quite the image, but it didn't mean she had to like it.

Tera on the other hand was loving the attention, each set of eyelights on her produced another laugh and some rolling that had Uzi holding the side of the bag so she wouldn't roll out onto the floor.

One drone was a little too obvious for Uzi's liking, staring at the bag like it would suddenly come to life and harm him.

“Hey! Stop staring and mind your business!” She turned to the guy, who immediately looked scared out of his mind, his purple eyelights hollowing as he nodded.

“Yes ma’am sorry!” He raised his hands before scampering away with his tail between his legs, if he had one, that is.

She smirked a little before moving on, it was a powerful feeling, to scare someone off, and it was satisfying as well, she didn't like the way he was looking at her baby.

She finally, finally reached where she wanted to be, well not wanted, she wanted to be anywhere else. But where she needed to be.

She knocked. Which was weird because it was her door, she had the key to get in whenever she wanted. But it still felt like the right thing to do at the moment, she heard shuffling from the other side of the heavy steel, great, her dad was home.

Her dad, the one who'd left her to die, the one who left her alone to cry herself to sleep after her mother died, the main reason her core had such heavy shielding protecting the softness inside. Why her first instinct to any problem was to yell at it, or turn to science to better choose violence.

She held a lot of resentment towards him, something she'd shown time and time again, a part of her wanting to hurt him the same way he'd been hurting her. But she could never bring herself to hate him, not when she did still have memories of him being a halfway decent father, holding her when she'd have nightmares, giving her piggyback rides, being the first one to teach her about mechanics, and give her her first toolset.

“Coming!” Khan shouted, he'd been drafting of some blueprints. Not of doors, but of something for N, if he wanted it.

A cap for his tail, made out of solid steel and form fitting, so it slid right over the needle, it was just a concept for now, he didn't have the exact measurements of his tail and he wasn't even sure N would want something like that, he seemed to have good control over it. But if Khan had a tail with a stinger, he'd want to make sure his infant daughter couldn't accidentally grab it, just to be safe.

So really it was gift for Tera, but, nonetheless.

He opened the door, surprised to see his daughter of all drones knocking, she never knocked, she lived here!

“Uzi? Why'd you knock? Did you lose your key?” He tilted his head in confusion before his eyes followed the strap of the baby bag, he blinked, and tiny purple eyelights blinked back.

“I-is that?” His voice almost immediately turned warbly, he didn't hadn't ever seen Tera before, he didn't realize how much she looked like his daughter, at least when she was also a pillbaby.

“That's Tera Dad, can I- can I come in?” Her voice sounded muted, not like the fiery rebellious drone he'd come to know as his daughter, he moved out of the way wordlessly, eyes still trained on the tiny droneling at her side.

She was giggling at him, rolling madly in an attempt to escape her confines, Uzi dipped her arm into the bag and lifted her up into her arms.

“Stop squirming Jellybean, or you're gonna fall.”

Tera was just happy for the attention attempting to roll more even though she was trapped in Uzi's hands. She sighed.

“Sorry, she has a lot of energy.” She smiled warily at her dad, who looked like his core had been ejected and thrown halfway across the room.

All he could see was his wife, the first month or two they had Uzi and she was a cryer, there were no moments of silence in the Doorman household, if Uzi was left alone for even a millisecond she'd begin to wail which meant either Nori or himself would have to be with her at all hours.

And Uzi shared her mother's stress lines, looking a little bit worn out but satisfied and happy, eye's shining with so much raw affection for the child in her arms that Khan knew, without another word spoken, that he had a granddaughter.

“That's quite alright dronelette…” He managed to force out the words, hopefully without sounding too strained, he wanted Uzi to feel comfortable enough to talk to him, to tell him things. Even if she thought he didn't like it.

And a part of him didn't, she was 18, not quite even an adult yet but her birthday was coming up soon. And dammit she was still his daughter, watching her grow up this much in such a little amount of time was harrowing, and only reminded him of how much he'd missed while wallowing in his grief.

Another part of him was almost giddy, a granddaughter, a granddaughter, it was honestly something he never even hoped to have, Uzi had never been one to make freinds, much less romantic connections.

“Yeah- uh, this is Tera, N's daughter.” She repeated, obviously nervous and tired. Khan wondered if N looked equally run down. And if perhaps Tera was the same level of clingy Uzi had been.

“I wanted you to meet her, since I've been spending so much time with the both of them…”

He could only bring himself to smile and nod, but wanted to freeze as Uzi came toward him and outstretched her arms, he clumsily stepped forward and took the tiny droneling into his arms, core stopping for a moment.

“She learns names pretty quick, oh, and she's a hugger, so uh, beware.” She warned, still seemingly nervous, he was sure he'd know exactly why soon, although he had a feeling he might already know.

Khan looked down at the baby, which felt like lead in his hands as she smiled up at him, weirdly silent considering all the babbling he'd just heard.

“Tera, this is Khan.” Uzi spoke softly to the baby, standing beside her father as he looked like he was about keel over. “He's my dad.”

Tera's smile grew bigger, although she didn't attempt to say his name, perhaps more than a single letter was too much for her. Instead she blew a goofy raspberry, rolling around in his arms for a moment before rolling into him, giving him a hug.

Tears sprung up in his eyes as something in his core snapped, he held her closely, and a sniffle escaped his voice box before he could stop himself.

“Dad?” Uzi sounded slightly worried for him, she'd known he'd might have some kind of reaction to seeing Tera, but this was a little more then she'd expected.

“I-I'm alright! I just-” He blinked away the tears and tried to steel himself, thoughts running a mile a minute. “I see why you warned me. Hah…”

“Yeah… you should have seen V, you could see the exact second her core melted.” Khan only could nod, the droneling now pressed up against him made a chirping noise, happy and content at any love given to her.

“But ah…that's uh, not the only reason I came here, just to… introduce you to a droneling that… that you're not gonna see often. You are gonna see her often, A-at least I hope you do, C-cause she's not just N's… she's-she's mine… too.” She rambled and sputtered as she tried to find the words to say, Khan felt himself smiling as she continued, she was expressing a want to have him around, that he wouldn't be mad. That'd he'd want to be-

“She's your granddaughter… dad.” She finished, looking more stressed then ever, like he could ever possibly tell her that he didn't want to be in her life anymore.

He winced as he remembered all the times he did indirectly. Leaving her alone so he could throw himself into another project, neglecting the one person he still had as family simply because she looked too much like Nori to look in the eye.

And she really looked like her now.

He looked back down at Tera, at his granddaughter, and felt himself begin to tear up again. She was smiling at him, babbling and cooing up at him as he launched forward and hugged his daughter with all his might.

He felt her tense, then, thankfully, she relaxed, mindful of the child as she curled up in his arms much like she did when she was little, and she'd needed comfort from a nightmare. He felt her visor press against his chest, breathing shaky, like she herself was about to cry.

How could he have left her, how? What kind of parent was he that he left his own daughter? What kind of man?

And how could she have ever forgiven him? He knew he could never forgive himself.

“I'm sorry dronelette, I'm so so sorry.” He cracked out, petting her hair, he felt some kind of pressure on his back, her hand most likely, and she almost laughed, though it sounded pained.

“I'm still… so angry at you.” She admitted, slowly, though not pulling away. And he felt more pained steel settle in his core, he deserved this… whatever she needed to say. If she needed curse at him, to hit him even, he'd deserve it, although he hoped she wouldn't in front of Tera.

“But I missed you more.”

And thats all it took for them both to sob like newborns, her face burying into his shoulder as she let years worth of coiled pain escape her, despite all she'd done, how much she'd grown, she was still 18, still much a kid herself.

And they remained like that for some time, at least until Tera got uncomfortable being sandwiched between them and began to fuss, which finally ended the long overdue hug between father and daughter.

“H-here, give her to me.” She stammered out, either slightly embarrassed or still a little emotional, and Khan did as he was told, handing daughter back to mother.

She rocked her until she stopped fussing, and Khan led them both to the couch with his hand, still recovering himself.

She flopped on the couch like she carried the entire weight of the world on her shoulders, Tera held gingerly until she was placed between them do she could freely roll around, which she did happily.

“I'm assuming that means N is my son in law now?” He chuckled out, trying to lighten the somewhat oppressive mood that had settled over them. She blushed heavily, sputtering out a surprised response.

“We're not- he's- uh… He's my… boyfriend now yeah.”

He laughed, even though he saw it coming a mile away, he thought he might be more upset about it then he was, but N had more than proven Uzi was his priority, even over himself at times.

“And you need help moving your stuff out?” He continued, smiling through the small amount of pain the thought caused him, she was growing up, but if that hug had shown him anything, she still needed her dad, and he couldn't ignore that, he wouldn't, not anymore.

[apeshit]

was trying to remember all the places i used to live these are the childhood houses i can remember and some of them i only remember my room

[chuluoyi]

Hi, I had this idea where gojo is shaving his face then his son comes in with the reader and wants to help gojo shave his face as well or even want to shave his own face. and it’s just a huge amount of fluff❤️

࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 06:27 A.M 」

what a cute ask!! i tweaked it a bit to put some dad!gojo who is just so soft for his baby

a part of gojo's love entries

there was always this indescribable feeling inside satoru whenever he looked at his child. his chubby cheeks, grabby hands, eyes that eerily are just like his—

today he had woken up early for a mission, unwillingly leaving the bed you two shared as you were still vast asleep after shenanigans you were up to last night. his plan was to take his bath and leave the house, but then he passed by his son’s crib, hearing his squirms and babbles—which escalated into picking him up and bringing him along to the bathroom.

that was how he found himself now staring at his ten-month-old baby, and what he had on his little pair of hands—his razor.

satoru couldn’t hold back the urge to grin.

“c’mon buddy. that’s not for you to play with. give it back, hm?”

his cute baby merely blinked, as if not understanding what he meant at all. in response, he tightened his grip on the instrument and pulled it closer to his little chest.

satoru heard his own laugh echoing in the bathroom. he could’ve just taken it away from his baby’s grip, but no way, that would be too cruel.

“you’re so, so unbelievably adorable,” he pinched the baby’s face. “just like your mama.”

this child was his in every way, there was no paternity doubt there. his hair, eyes, and you would say, even his pout. but the abundant innocence and curious gleam behind those little eyes was definitely yours.

half his and half yours.

just how many years had gone by? last he remembered, he was begging for your love, then suddenly you gave birth to his son, and here he was.

“okay, little man. papa really needs it now,” he prodded, still grinning. he patted the boy in the head and extended his palm in front of him.

your little munchkin still didn’t comply though, as he hugged the razor tight. it seemed like he had watched satoru shave many times already, with how he gained this understanding: he positioned the sharp edge on his plump cheek, and a second too late would mean—

satoru forcibly plucked the blade, barely missing the soft surface of his son’s face. and in the next second, the quiet wonder on his baby's face transformed into a look of betrayal, his face scrunching up.

and he wailed.

his inconsolable cries woke you up as you stumbled in panic towards the bathroom. “gods, satoru! what did you do this time?”

“wha—! he was about to scratch his face! i saved him!”

and so holding your son in your arms, you watched as your husband shaved his face, while your little boy eagerly reaching out in his direction with satoru’s dullest razor—one he didn’t use anymore—that you gave him to play with.

“you wanna help papa, huh?”

“hey, uh… why are you aiming at my throat?!”

[stylesispunk]

"You're the loss of my life"

outbreak! Joel Miller x f!reader

part 2 here

summary: you and Joel went from one kiss to getting married to becoming strangers.

w.c: 5k>

Warnings: angst, implications of cheating, mentions miscarriage. Perhaps some grammar mistakes because no proofreading oops!

a/n: I know everything I write is angst but is what it fits in my mind right now. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💌

Dividers by @/saradika-graphics

The day you killed yourself, you woke up. The salty tears streamed down to your ears. There was a pity gaze you didn't want to meet, looking down at you, perhaps asking why. 

You didn't want to talk, even less to answer the pitiful comments from people who thought they had a say on all this.

You remember the fall. You remember Joel running to Sophie to save her life instead of yours, instead of both. You and the baby who was inside you. The one who wasn't there anymore because of its tiny form didn't resist the impact of your fall.

What a tragedy.

Sadness overcame you in the aftermath. In a world like this, treating your wounded body wasn't as hard as treating your heart, which became a frozen glass shell.

The days that followed were a blur, each moment blending into the next, a never-ending cycle of grief and numbness. You avoided mirrors, hating the reflection of a person you no longer recognized. The hollow eyes, the lifeless expression—they belonged to a ghost, not to you.

Joel tried to talk to you, his words a constant hum in the background. "I'm sorry," he'd say. "I didn't know what to do." But his apologies were meaningless, lost in the chasm that had formed between you. He perhaps saved Sophie because he loved her more, because in that split second, she was the one who mattered.

Not you anymore.

You spent hours in the nursery, the room you had so carefully prepared. The crib, the tiny clothes, the stuffed animals—all mocking reminders of what could have been. Your hands would linger on the soft blankets, tears falling silently onto the fabric. It was in that room that you felt the closest to the baby you had lost—a place where the field of dreams you had died.

One night, as you sat in the dark, the pain was too much to bear, and you decided you couldn't go on. The world was too cruel, too indifferent to people's suffering. You wrote a letter, your final words, to those who might wonder why. It was brief—just a few sentences explaining the unbearable weight of your grief and the unending ache in your heart. Meeting your family and beloved ones in heaven sounded better than keeping yourself prisoner in a world that would never be a safe place for anyone.

You took the pills, each one a step closer to peace. As you drifted off, you felt a strange sense of calm, a release from the torment that had consumed you. You hoped that in death, you would find the solace that eluded you in life.

But then you woke up again. The salty tears streamed down to your ears. There was a pity gaze you didn't want to meet, looking down at you, perhaps asking why.

Waking up again felt like a cruel joke. You were back in the same world, with the same pain. But something was different. Joel was there, his eyes red and swollen from crying. He took your hand, his touch hesitant and afraid.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered, his voice breaking.

You turned away, unable to meet his gaze. The wound was still too fresh, and the betrayal was still too raw to face them.

Joel's gaze burned in your back, and the smell of death was in the room. You held your breath for a moment. You wanted to smell the flowers and the baby smell of the little head of your baby, which you would never get to meet.

"Why?" he questioned, and for the first time, his voice did soothe your wounds; instead, it caused your blood to boil inside you and irritated you.

"I want Ellie here, not you."

"Baby- “

"Go." Your voice could slice Joel’s skin.

He recoiled as if struck, his face crumpling with pain. He stood there for a moment, looking lost and broken. "Please, don't push me away," he pleaded, but you couldn't hear him through the rage and grief that consumed you.

"Leave," you repeated, your voice cold and final.

Joel's shoulders slumped in defeat. He turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind him. The silence that followed was suffocating, a void that threatened to swallow you whole. You curled into a ball, the tears flowing freely now—a torrent of pain and loss.

“Go to Sophie,” you whispered to the void, allowing yourself to cry.

Time seemed to stand still in that moment; your sobs were the only sound in the quiet room. You didn't know how long you lay there, but eventually, you heard a soft knock on the door.

Ellie's voice was hesitant when she called out your name, filled with a mix of anger and concern. "Can I come in?"

You didn't answer, but she opened the door anyway, slipping inside and closing it behind her. She looked at you, her expression torn between fury and sadness.

"Why did you do it?" she demanded, her voice shaking. "Why did you try to leave me too?"

You looked up at her, seeing the pain in her eyes and mirroring your own. "I... I didn't think I could handle it anymore," you admitted, your voice breaking. "I lost everything, Ellie. I lost you, I lost Joel, and I lost the baby. I didn't know how to go on."

Ellie walked over to you, her steps hesitant. "You didn't lose me. I'm still here," she said, her voice softening. "But you almost did. And I'm so mad at Joel. He should have saved you both. He should have done more."

“Do you think Joel doesn’t love me anymore?” you sobbed.  The pain in your voice broke Ellie’s heart.

She kneeled beside you, taking your hands in hers. "I don’t know what’s on his mind now," she admitted, her voice trembling. "But I do know he loves you. He's just... broken too. We're all broken."

You pulled her into a tight embrace, both of you crying together, sharing the weight of your grief. “I lost my baby because of him.”

Ellie held you tighter, her own tears mingling with yours. "Cry,” she said softly. "Blaming him won't bring the baby back. It won't help us heal. We have to find a way to forgive and move forward."

The two of you stayed like that for a long time, finding strange solace in each other’s arms. The pain was still there, raw and overwhelming.

You were standing in the small kitchen of your home in Jackson, the dilapidated walls a far cry from the security of the life you once knew. But for a moment, you allowed yourself to dream of something better. Your hands trembled slightly as you held the small, worn piece of paper—a positive pregnancy test, a symbol of new life in a world consumed by death.

Joel walked in, weary from a long day of patrol. His eyes lit up when he saw you, but they quickly clouded with concern as he noticed the look on your face.

"What's going on?" he asked, setting down his backpack and walking over to you.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. "Joel, I have something to tell you,” you began, your voice shaking. "I'm pregnant."

For a moment, there was silence. Joel's expression shifted from confusion to shock, and then to something darker—fear and maybe even anger.

"Pregnant?" he repeated, his voice rising slightly. "In this world? How could you be so irresponsible?"

The words hit you like a physical blow, your earlier excitement and hope crumbling into dust. "Irresponsible?" you echoed, your own voice rising defensively. "It takes two people to do this, you know.”

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "You know what it’s like out there! Every day is a fight for survival. We can barely keep ourselves alive, and now you want to bring a baby into this?”

“I know this is not the best way, but what do you want me to do?” 

“You know what.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you fought them back, unwilling to show weakness at his suggestion. "I know it's dangerous, Joel. But it's also a chance for us to have a future. To have a reason to keep going."

Joel's face softened for a moment, but then the hard lines returned. "And what if we can't protect it? What if we lose it? Bringing a baby into this world... it's a death sentence."

You turned away, unable to look at him. "I thought you'd be happy," you whispered, the tears finally spilling over. "I thought this would be something good for us."

He reached out, but you stepped back, the distance between you growing. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice softer now, but the damage was done. "I just... I can't see how this can work."

You clutched the pregnancy test to your chest, tainted by doubt and fear. “Are you mad because of the baby, or what would Sophie think of this?" you questioned quietly.

Joel's expression faltered, and he looked away, unable to meet your gaze. The mention of Sophie seemed to strike a chord, bringing a new layer of tension to the room.

"Sophie has nothing to do with this," he muttered, but the words lacked conviction.

"Doesn't she?" You pressed, your voice rising. "She's always in the back of your mind, Joel. Every decision you make, every risk you take, it's always about protecting her."

"She's my partner in patrol,” he shot back, his voice growing louder. "I’m just as protective as I am with everyone here! I can't fail her, or you. But this world... it's no place for a child."

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "I know you're scared, Joel. So am I. But we can't live our lives in fear. This baby is a chance for us to have something real, something good. Don't you see that?"

Joel's shoulders slumped, the weight of your words pressing down on him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair again. "I do see it," he admitted quietly. "But it doesn't change the reality we live in. I just... I don't know if I can take that risk."

The room fell silent, the tension hanging thick in the air. You turned away from him, your heart heavy with a mixture of hope and despair. "I'm going to do everything I can to protect this baby," you said firmly, your voice steady despite the tears streaming down your face. "With or without you."

Joel looked at you, pain and conflict warring in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it, shaking his head. He turned and walked out, leaving you standing alone in the kitchen, your heart breaking as the small symbol of hope in your hand seemed to grow heavier by the second.

The “I do” and vows seemed so foreign in the back of your mind now.

A week had passed since your almost-death. The days were a blur of grief and small steps toward recovery. Ellie remained close; her presence was a constant reminder that there was still something worth fighting for. In your head, you felt guilt and pity, not strong enough to keep believing you were the same woman who arrived here. You were the gosh of a lively fighter who became a lifeless frame.

Maria approached you in the cafeteria, where you were trying to busy yourself. She had always been a pillar of strength in Jackson and a calming presence for you since the day you, Joel, and Ellie arrived.

"Hey," she said softly, her voice gentle. "How are you holding up?"

You shrugged, not trusting yourself to speak without breaking down. Maria sighed, pulling up a chair beside you. "I know it's hard. But you need to take things slow. You can't rush healing."

You nodded, though her words felt distant. The weight of your grief was a constant presence, making everything seem surreal. "I just... I don't know how to keep going. I don’t know how to do this again," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as Sarah’s lifeless frame came to your mind.

You had lost another child.

Maria reached out, squeezing your hand. "One day at a time," she said. "And remember, it's okay to lean on others. You don't have to do this alone."

You wanted to believe her, but the pain was too fresh and overwhelming. As the days turned into a week, you forced yourself to go through the motions, trying to find some semblance of normalcy. One afternoon, you found yourself in the cafeteria of Jackson. The noise and bustle were a stark contrast to the turmoil inside you.

Maria was there, talking to a few people, and she caught your eye, giving you an encouraging smile. You tried to smile back, but it felt forced. The weight of your loss was a constant shadow, making everything seem heavier.

As you moved through the line, Maria came over, her expression concerned. "Hey, remember what I said. Take it slow. You don't have to do everything at once."

Something inside you snapped. The pressure, the grief, the guilt—it all came crashing down. "Take it slow?" you repeated, your voice rising. "How am I supposed to take it slow when everything is falling apart? How am I supposed to keep going when I not only lost my baby but also my husband?!”

The cafeteria fell silent, all eyes turning towards you. You could feel the weight of their stares, the shock, and the pity. Your breath came in short, ragged gasps as the enormity of your outburst sank in.

Maria reached out, but you recoiled, your emotions spiraling out of control. "I don't need to take it slow!" you shouted, tears streaming down your face. "I need... I need..." You didn't even know what you needed; the pain was too overwhelming to articulate.

Joel was there in an instant, his face etched with worry. "Hey, hey," he said softly, reaching out to you. "It's okay. You're okay."

But you weren't okay. You felt like you were drowning, the weight of your grief pulling you under. You shook your head, backing away from him. "Don't touch me for fuck's sake! I don't want your dirty hands on me!”

Joel’s eyes glazed, but you didn’t care. He had become the best of the man you had married ten years ago.

Joel's eyes glazed, but you didn’t care. He had become the ghost of the man you had married ten years ago.

He froze, the words hitting him like a physical blow. The cafeteria's silence deepened, the tension thickening. You saw the pain in his eyes, a reflection of your own turmoil, but it did nothing to quell the anger and sorrow boiling inside you.

"I can't do this," you said, your voice breaking as you took a step back, your chest heaving with sobs. "I can't keep pretending that everything is going to be okay. Because it's not! Nothing is okay!"

Ellie pushed through the crowd, her face pale but determined. "Mom," she said, her voice steady despite the fear in her eyes. "We're here. We're all here. We'll get through this."

Joel looked helplessly at Ellie, then back at you. "Please," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "Just let us help."

You looked at him, the man who had once been your rock, now just a shadow of the person you had relied on. The anger still simmered beneath the surface, but Ellie’s presence brought a flicker of something else—a reminder of why you needed to keep fighting.

Ellie wrapped her arms around you, holding you tightly as you sobbed into her shoulder. The room remained silent; the weight of your grief was palpable. But in that moment, you felt a glimmer of hope—a reminder that you weren’t alone and that you had people who loved you and who were willing to help you carry the burden.

Joel stepped closer, his hand hovering uncertainly at your back, not daring to touch you without permission. "I’m so sorry," he murmured, his voice choked with emotion. "For everything. I’m so, so sorry."

You took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to steady yourself. "You killed him," you snapped, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I can’t forgive you.”

Joel's face crumpled, the weight of your words hitting him like a physical blow. He took a step back, his hand dropping to his side. The silence in the room grew heavier, and the tension was palpable.

"I know," he said, his voice barely audible. "I know I can never undo what I've done. I live with that guilt every day."

Your anger burned hot and fierce, like a wildfire consuming everything in its path. "You killed him," you repeated, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. "And you expect me to just forgive you? To move on like nothing happened?"

Joel shook his head, his eyes filled with sorrow. "No," he said softly. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't even know if I can forgive myself. But I want to try. I want to make things right as much as I can."

You looked at him, the man who had once been your partner, your confidant, now a stranger in the wreckage of your shattered life. The anger still burned hot within you, but beneath it, there was a flicker of something else—pain, sorrow, and a desperate longing for the life you had lost.

"I don't know if I can do this," you admitted, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I don't know if I have the strength to forgive you."

Ellie's arms remained wrapped around you, a comforting presence amidst the turmoil. She gently guided you away from the cafeteria, her touch reassuring as you stumbled through the hallways of Jackson. The weight of your grief felt heavier with each step, but Ellie's presence gave you a glimmer of strength.

As you reached the door, Ellie helped you inside, guiding you to the small couch in the living area. She sat beside you, her eyes filled with concern.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, her voice filled with worry.

You shook your head, the tears still streaming down your face. "I don't know," you admitted, your voice hoarse. "I just... I don't know how to deal with all of this."

Ellie reached out, taking your hand in hers. "We'll figure it out together," she said, her voice steady despite the tremor in her hands. "I promise."

You squeezed her hand tightly, grateful for her unwavering support. "Thank you, Ellie," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion.

She leaned in, wrapping you in a tight hug. "I love you, Mom," she said softly. "And I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Tears pricked at your eyes as you hugged her back, her words echoing in your mind. "I love you too, Ellie," you whispered, your voice breaking with emotion.

As you and Ellie held each other close, the weight of her love and support was a balm to your wounded soul. But amidst the embrace, a knock on the door interrupted the moment, causing both of you to startle.

Ellie pulled back slightly, her eyes searching yours with concern. "Should I... Should I get that?" she asked, her voice hesitant.

You shook your head, wiping away your tears as you tried to compose yourself. "No, it's okay," you said, your voice still shaky. "I'll go."

Ellie nodded, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze before standing up from the couch. "I'll be in my room if you need me," she said softly, giving you a lingering look before leaving the living area.

As Ellie disappeared down the hallway, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. With trembling hands, you made your way to the door and opened it, revealing Joel standing on the other side.

His expression was a mix of worry and remorse as he looked at you, his eyes filled with a silent plea for forgiveness. "Can we talk?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You hesitated, the memories of your outburst in the cafeteria still fresh in your mind. But despite the anger and pain, there was a part of you that longed for closure, for a chance to understand.

"Okay," you said finally, stepping aside to let him in.

Joel entered the house, his footsteps hesitant as he crossed the threshold. The living room felt suffocatingly small as you both stood there, the weight of your shared grief hanging heavy in the air.

"I... I don't even know where to start," Joel said, his voice strained with emotion.

You took a deep breath, trying to find the words to express the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. "I just... I need to understand," you said, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I need to know why you did what you did."

The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the abandoned streets of the city. You and Joel had been scavenging for supplies, your footsteps echoing in the eerie silence that seemed to permeate every corner of the world.

You had felt uneasy all day, a knot of jealousy and insecurity twisting in your stomach at the sight of Sophie, her laughter ringing in your ears like a taunt.

You had implored Joel to come. You just wanted to feel as worthy and important to him as you used to, even in your state. But despite your misgivings, you had pushed them aside, focusing on the task at hand, determined to prove yourself capable and worthy of Joel's love and attention.

And then it happened.

If Joel had been more careful, he wouldn’t have allowed you to come. But he didn’t want to make you feel worthless.

A horde of infected had descended upon you, their snarls and growls a chilling symphony of death and despair. You had frozen; your mind was unable to comprehend the danger until it was too late.

But Joel had acted, his movements swift and sure as he pulled you away from the oncoming onslaught, his grip firm and unyielding.

And then he had seen her.

Sophie was trapped beneath the rubble, her screams echoing in the chaos as the infected closed in, their hunger insatiable.

And in that moment, something inside Joel shifted.

He had hesitated, torn between saving you and saving her, his eyes flickering with indecision, before he made his choice.

He had chosen Sophie.

He jumped off the horse, leaving you alone. You had watched in horror as he raced towards her, leaving you behind, your heart shattering into a million jagged pieces as the truth of his betrayal washed over you like a tidal wave.

You had screamed, your voice lost in the cacophony of the chaos, your tears mingling with the blood and dust that coated your skin.

And then the world went dark.

You fell from the horse, hitting the cobblestones hard. The pain was sharp and intense, searing through your body like a white-hot flame. You could hear the distant sound of screams and growls, the world around you spinning in a haze of confusion and agony.

Through the haze, you could dimly make out Joel's voice, calling out your name in desperation. But his words felt distant, a mere echo in the darkness that threatened to consume you.

And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the chaos subsided, leaving behind a heavy silence that pressed down on you like a weight. You tried to move, to call out, but your body felt numb and unresponsive. Your world went black.

"I need to know why, Joel," you repeated, your voice trembling with emotion. "Why did you choose her over us? Why did you leave me behind?"

Tears welled up in your eyes as you waited for his answer, the weight of his betrayal still fresh in your mind, a wound that refused to heal.

Joel's gaze dropped to the floor, his shoulders slumping with the weight of his guilt. "I... I don't know," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I panicked. I made a mistake."

Anger surged within you at his words, a fiery rage that threatened to consume you. "A mistake?" you repeated, your voice rising with indignation. "You left me to die, Joel. You left our child to die. How could you call that a mistake?"

Joel flinched at your words, the pain in his eyes mirroring your own. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I'm so, so sorry. You were my wife; I should.”

"Were you my wife?” You sobbed, “Since when is that in the past, Joel?”

Joel's words hung in the air like a heavy weight, his admission of guilt and regret piercing through the veil of anger and pain that enveloped you. But amidst the turmoil, there was a flicker of something else—a longing for understanding, for closure, for a chance to heal.

"You are my wife," Joel repeated clearly, his voice trembling with emotion. "I should have protected you. I should have been there for you. But I failed. I failed both of you."

His words stirred something deep within you—a wellspring of grief and longing that threatened to overwhelm you. "And now?" you whispered, your voice barely more than a hoarse whisper. "What am I to you, Joel?"

Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with sorrow. Not uttering a word.

“Do you have feelings for Sophie?” You asked, fear creeping to your bones, not wanting to hear the answer.

Joel's silence spoke volumes; his hesitation was a weighty presence in the air between you. You held your breath, afraid of what his answer might be and of the truth that lay hidden in the depths of his gaze.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Joel spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "I... I don't know," he admitted, his words heavy with uncertainty. "

“You love her,” you stated. “That’s why you chose her.”

Joel's silence in response to your accusation only confirmed your worst fears, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth and a heavy ache in your chest. The truth hung in the air, stark and undeniable, like a shadow cast by the setting sun.

Tears stung your eyes as you struggled to process the betrayal, the pain of Joel's admission cutting through you like a knife. The realization that he might love Sophie and might have chosen her over you and your unborn child was a blow that threatened to shatter you completely.

"I can't do this," you whispered, your voice barely more than a broken plea. "I can't stay here, knowing... knowing that I'll never be enough for you. Living in a world like this is already hell, but you made it even worse. You made me feel disgusted by myself, worthless, and ashamed," you shouted. "You're a fucking coward."

Joel flinched at your words, the truth of your accusations cutting through him like a knife. For a moment, it seemed as though he might speak, might try to defend himself, but he remained silent, his gaze fixed on the floor.

"Hate me; I'll wait. Until you forgive," he finally said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to find the words to express the depth of your pain. "Forgive you?" you chuckled bitterly. "I won't."

There are two types of grievances. The one who met the spirits in death and the one who met with the ghosts of someone who should have died in front of you. You still couldn't comprehend which one was worse. Both were painful, and both watered your eyes. But having the ghost of someone who brought you warm, freezing your aura while slipping from your grasp, leaving you crying to yourself till your head tired up and there wasn't anything left that fell into the voiceless world of sleeping, where in your dreams, you were still the same woman in the white dress, marrying the love of your life.

"I needed my husband! I need him now! And the worst thing is, I still need you, but you're just a fucking phantom."

"I'm still here," he exclaimed.

"No, you're not.".

"It wasn't even born!" Joel said.

The silence met souls leaving the lovers's bodies.

You were left speechless, tears ricocheting. Your heart was clenched in pain, and your throat felt like it was being torn apart by a monster.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Save it," you spat. You were exhausted, and your heart hurt so much that you couldn't even feel it beating anymore. "Sorry if grieving my baby was such a burden to you."

As you turned back to face Joel, the weight of your words hung heavy in the air, a painful reminder of the gaping chasm of loss that lay between you.

"Let me remind you of something, Joel," you said, your voice trembling with emotion. "Losing Sarah was the worst thing that happened to us, and just imagine how it is for me to know I carried her and this baby just to lose them both."

Joel's expression softened, a flicker of remorse crossing his features as he looked at you, his eyes filled with regret. "I know," he said softly, his voice heavy with sorrow.

"I'll move out," Joel said suddenly, his voice tinged with resignation. "So you can bring your new lover here and make all the babies you want."

His words cut through you like a knife, a painful reminder of the irreparable rift that had formed between you. "You know what really broke me?" you sobbed, the words tumbling out in a rush of emotion. "You... you're the biggest loss of my life, but as much as I love you, I despise you the same. You're the loss of my life I will be yours. There's no way back from this, Joel."

As the weight of your words hung heavy in the air, you reached for the wedding band adorning your finger, a symbol of a love that had once been unbreakable but now lay shattered at your feet.

With trembling hands, you removed the ring, feeling its weight in your palm as you stared at it, the memories of happier times flashing before your eyes like a cruel mockery of the present.

Without a second thought, you flung the ring towards Joel, watching as it spun through the air before landing at his feet with a soft thud.

"There," you said, your voice choked with emotion. "Take it. Take everything that remains of us."

Joel looked down at the ring, his expression unreadable as he reached out to pick it up and his fingers trembling as he held it in his palm.

"I don't want this," he whispered, his voice barely more than a hoarse whisper.

But you shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you stared at him, the pain of his betrayal a raw wound that refused to heal. "I don't want it either," you said, your voice barely more than a broken whisper. "But it's all we have left."

And with that, you turned away, unable to bear the weight of his presence any longer. The wounds he had inflicted upon you ran deep, a festering wound that refused to heal.

[shemybitchhh]

𝕃𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕋𝕒𝕝𝕜𝕤♡

<<Farm!Elllie Williams x Fem!Reader>>

Sinopsis: Just a regular night at you farm house, but recently you've been having nightmares. Luckily, you have your girl right besides you to let you know you are safe.

Warning: just fluffy and soft Ellie with a big heart.

"Tess!" You screamed, opening your eyes suddenly.

Your breathing accelerated and your heart beating in your chest, ~for a moment you felt like it was going to come out~.

You sat up on the bed and placed a hand on your chest, while the other one rested on the mattress to help you maintain your balance.

Warm tears began to run down your cheeks just by remembering the nightmare you had had.

Your daughter, your baby, your little world, in the middle of a horde of infected, completely alone and helpless as she screamed for you, and you couldn't do anything to help her.

You had found her one day when you were out hunting. She was wrapped in a blanket next to a stuffed rabbit, completely asleep. There was a note on top of the stuffed animal.

"She's only 2 months old. Please take care of her before it's too late for her as it is for us."

The first time you held her in your arms, you felt as if that baby had automatically taken over a piece of your heart. She opened her eyes and you fell in love with the little one.

You decided to name her after your mother, Joel's smuggling partner who died more than 6 years ago. You loved your mother, and losing her was like losing a part of you. And as you held the little girl in your arms, It was like finding that lost part again.

That was 6 months ago.

You heard someone calling your name next to you in bed and you finally snapped out of your thoughts to turn your head, meeting your lover.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" You asked Ellie in a whisper.

The green-eyed sat up in bed and cupped your wet cheek.

"The dreams again?" She asked you and you nodded.

"I'm sorry." You said wiping away tears.

"You don't have to apologize for anything, love." She assured you.

You had met Ellie when your mother and Joel were assigned on taking her to the Firefly's base, so they could make her the cure for humanity. That same trip was the one on which your mother died, and the rest is history.

You turned your head to see the crib your daughter was resting in peacefully, two meters away from the bed you and Ellie were on.

You slowly got out of bed and walked towards your baby. Tess was curled up in a ball, a pacifier between her lips that she sucked freely, and the same stuffed rabbit that you had found her with, in her arms.

You were hypnotized watching her, her blonde hair reminded you of your mother, and you smiled slightly when you saw her so healthy and calm, without any worries going through her little head.

A pair of arms were wrapped around your waist, and Ellie's chin rested on your left shoulder. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the small moment.

Those simple gestures from Ellie were what made you fall in love with her. She knew exactly how to make yourself feel safe with a single action.

"I'm really sorry I woke you up." You said and Ellie gave you a kiss on the shoulder.

"It's okay, don't worry." She whispered and you stroked her arms. "I love you, you know that?"

"Yes. You remind me of that every day." You said with a smile. You turned your head and met her beautiful green eyes. "And I like to remind you that I love you much more."

"Don't start a fight you won't win." Ellie said and you both shared a small laugh before turning their eyes to the little girl in the crib. "I love you both, with everything I have." She said and you felt your heart warm.

"And we love you." You assured her.

"I know." Ellie's hands roamed your waist slowly and then positioned themselves on either side of you before guiding you back to the bed. "We have to rest." She dropped you onto the mattress and positioned herself next to you to cup your face.

"I hate those nightmares." You said bitterly.

"Everything is fine. Nothing will happen to Tess or you, I will make sure of that." She told you completely seriously.

You approached her face and left a sweet kiss on her lips, then settled into the crook of her neck and inhaled her aroma, which always brought you calm.

Little by little your breathing became slower and slower to the point that your eyelids became so heavy that you closed them and fell into a deep sleep, while the arms of the love of your life wrapped around you, keeping you warm and safe.

♡♡♡

The next morning, you woke up to the little girl crying. In the night you had moved and ended up with your back against Ellie's chest.

You opened your eyes trying to get used to the sunlight and yawned. Ellie's arms pulled you tighter against her and her breath on your neck gave you goosebumps.

"Love." You called her without getting any response. "Honey, Tess has to eat." You said and this time you heard a small whimper from your girlfriend.

Ellis slowly got up and stretched before getting out of bed.

"I got it." She said and walked slowly to the crib. When she reached it she put her hands on the bars and smiled at the little girl inside. "Good morning, princess." She greeted her, causing the crying to subside. The green-eyed girl took Tess into her arms and gave her a few kisses on her cheeks, making her laugh. "We'll go have breakfast and let mommy take a hot shower." Ellie said and then looked at you with a smile. "Say bye to mommy, Tess."

The little girl looked at you with her big eyes and you smiled at her, while she looked at you and let out a shout of joy, making you laugh.

Ellie left with Tess in her arms, leaving you alone. You went to the bathroom and took your time in the hot water, relaxing your tense muscles and simply enjoying the moment alone, knowing that your girls were waiting for you in the kitchen.

You dried yourself and when your hair was damp but not dripping, you went back to the room. You stole a light blue shirt from Ellie and put on some baggy gray pants.

When you went down to the kitchen you found a scene straight out of a movie. Ellie with the frying pan in her right hand, while holding the little blonde with her left arm.

She was dancing back and forth to the music that came from the record player, while Tess watched attentively as the green-eyed flipped the pancake, and the little one ended up clapping and laughing.

"I think she really likes watching you cook." You said walking closer.

They both turned their heads. Tess extended her arms asking you to pick her up, and Ellie passed her to you without a problem.

"We were already missing you." Your girlfriend said, turning back to continue cooking the pancakes.

You smiled and looked at your daughter who was now touching your left cheek with her hand. You could feel her hand was somewhat drooling, meaning she had put it in her mouth, and you laughed.

"Do you like watching mama cook, baby?" You asked and Tess laughed.

"Of course she likes to watch me cook. I'm quite a show." Ellie responded.

"You have a very cocky mother." You said softly towards the baby, but loud enough for the auburn-haired to hear.

"Hey!" She said turning around again and you just laughed and took Tess to the dining room table.

A few minutes later, Ellie appeared in the dining room with a plate of stacked pancakes, a jug of orange juice, and Tess's bottle. She left everything on the table and sat next to you.

"I see you woke up feeling like pampering." You said amused.

"All for my girls." She said the same way. You sat Tess on your lap and took the lid off the bottle full of warm milk to start feeding her.

Tess's little hands grabbed the bottle over yours and she drank the milk slowly and peacefully.

Ellie decided that today she wanted to spoil you completely. After last night's altercation, the aurbun-haired wanted you to clear your head and know that you were not alone.

She began to cut pieces of pancakes and poked one with her fork to bring it closer to your mouth. You smiled at her and opened wide so Ellie could start feeding you.

As you chewed, a drop of honey slipped across your lips and ran slowly down your chin. Ellie ran her thumb over the area, looking at you with love eyes.

You knew in that moment that you didn't want to be anywhere else but there. Not because you were surrounded by nature, animals and music. But because you were with the two people who made you the happiest, and you would have them forever.

C: hey guys! Carm here. Just wanted to let you know some things. First of all, english is not my first language so im really sorry if smt is not written correctly. Second, I'm not some Allan Poe haha. I'm just doing this for fun, ~as i think most poeple are~, so please be kind because we are here to have a great time. And third, if you have any ideas or recommendations im always open to hear you guys.

Rememeber to stay hydrated, sleep well ~with Ellie~, watch an episode of your fav tv show, and masturbate to get to know your body.

XOXO

[justalittletotheleft]

“daddy! it’s still light outside! why do i have to be in pjs and my nighttime diaper now?”

you pout as daddy finishes taping up one of your thick nighttime diapers with a booster in it around your waist.

“you’ll see in a minute princess, be patient.”

daddy pulls up your pajama bottoms, clearly displaying the bulk around your bottom.

as you slide off the changing table and grab your blankie, you hear the door bell ring.

“that must be her now!”

daddy begins striding to the front door.

“who daddy?”

he ignores you, but your question is answered a moment later as daddy opens the door to show a gorgeous older woman.

“you must be jackie! i’m nick and this is the little princess you’ll be watching, grace.”

daddy grabs your arm and pulls you into the doorway.

the woman, jackie, beams at you,

“hi sweetheart! i’ll be your babysitter for tonight! you can call my auntie jackie! aren’t you precious!”

she leans forward and pinches one of your cheeks, daddy and her laughing as you whine and try to pull away.

“i don’t need a babysitter! i’m a big girl!”

you take a step back, but auntie jackie just ignores you and follows you inside, closing the door behind her.

“you better behave little girl, unless you want me to give you a spanking before i leave?”

daddy shoots you a stern look, effectively quieting your whining.

he gives auntie jackie a quick tour of the house, you waddling behind as he shows her your changing table, crib, high chair, etc.

eventually he leads her to the living room, she settles in, putting her bag down while daddy puts his shoes and coat on.

“alright! she should be all set for the night, just remember to give her one of the special “nighttime bottles” so she can sleep without any fuss!”

you let out a whimper. those “nighttime bottles” have not only a sleep aid, but also a laxative and muscle relaxant, so you will definitely be waking up in a packed diaper.

“anything else i need to know? favorite cartoons? anything to watch out for?”

daddy shrugs, turning to you as you sit on the floor with your blankie.

“she’s a bit of a heavy wetter and messer, but don’t worry about changing her, she’s padded up well. but if you think she’s going to leak, feel free to put her plastic panties over her diaper, they’re in the top drawer of her changing table.”

you blush. it’s not your fault you daddy keeps you so hydrated!

“gotcha! well you go have fun on your date! i’ll make sure your little pamper packer is well taken care of while you’re getting lucky!”

he laughs, thanking her and heading towards the door.

“daddy! no! i’m your girlfriend! you can’t just go on dates!”

he rolls his eyes, seeming annoyed.

suddenly, you hear a loud hissing noise, and feel your diaper start to get warm.

“oh! it looks like your little princess is going peepee in her diapey!”

auntie jackie exclaims, reaching down and patting your newly soggy padding.

“you proved my point yourself sweetheart, who wants to fuck a potty pants? big girls don’t need diapers, so daddy’s going out and finding you a mommy.”

you whimper, embarrassed beyond means, and cover your face with your blankie.

he’s right, you’re closer to an toddler daddy takes care of than his girlfriend. you don’t even remember the last time you and daddy and sex.

“told you she’s a super soaker! you be good for auntie jackie, maybe if i get a good report back you can use mr. buzzy wand tomorrow, hm?”

you squirm in your wet diaper, knowing the closest you’ll ever get to big girl sex from here on out, is cumming into a wet and messy diaper.

[tojikai]

Sundered (Alt. Ending): CRUSH

Pairing: Gojo x reader - Toji x reader (this part)

• Part 1  |  Part 2   | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Alt. Ending

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments

word count: 5.8k

a/n: here it is! (it's late, sorry. not proofread too😭) im forever grateful to you all who waited and supported the sundered series and for supporting my other stories too. i cant do much but this means so much. ily.

If you never talk to him again, he will miss you forever.

“Do I not deserve it?” You asked him, almost flinching at your words when you promised yourself you’d never ask anyone that. Toji sighed, taking both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. “Not this. You deserve more than this. You deserve to be genuinely happy without sacrificing anything, without feeling spent.”

Your brows furrowed, trying to contain another flood of tears threatening to overflow from your already swollen eyes. Why does it always have to be so hard when it's you? When it was Satoru who tried to move on, he did with Naomi. You wouldn’t say it was a breeze for them but you just know it was never this hard.

Naomi and Satoru stayed together for a year, being the family you couldn’t give your child. And now you, you couldn’t even make it work with Toji. Why do you always have to feel stuck? Why does he refuse to take your hand and pull you out of this void that is slowly sucking you down?

Along with these thoughts, you felt a squeeze in your hand. “Y/N?” Toji called, “Y/N, it’s gonna be alright.”  No, it’s not, you thought. The roof of your mouth tastes bitter against your tongue; so bitter that it burns. “It’s not. But it’s alright. I just don’t want you to feel burdened with this, alright?” You reached up to his face, eyes wandering.

“I’m sorry.” You felt selfish. You felt so selfish for not thinking about how this void of yours could pull him down with you instead of him pulling you up. You felt so selfish for wanting him to keep hurting just so you could feel safe. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this, I didn’t realize it would be this hard on you too.” Your throat feels tight all of a sudden.

You stepped away from him, sniffing as you wiped your tears away. You couldn’t remember what else he said, you couldn't remember how you ended up in that room alone, crying as you clutched your chest, blaming yourself for wearing out such a good man.

You couldn’t remember, or more like you chose not to carve into your memory how that day ended. The only image you can see in your head is how he cuddled you to sleep, woke you up to eat with him and the kids, and went home. You remember him saying that they could always visit. And you hated yourself for doubting him.

Now you smooth out the bed, rearranging the pillows and gaslighting yourself that you’ve been the only one sleeping on it all this time just so it wouldn't feel so unfamiliar. You changed the sheets and prayed you wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night, reaching for the man you love. 

And the fact that this wouldn’t be the first time that you would do so…

You remembered how you would wake up and break down at midnights during the first few months of your separation from Satoru, weeping as you ran to your daughter’s crib just to remind yourself to be stronger, locking your phone away to not call and embarrass yourself in front of him and his then-new girlfriend again.

You heard the sound of the video your daughter was watching as she sat on the bean bag in the corner of your room. “Mama, look it.” You heard her tiny footsteps tap the floor as she ran to you, holding the phone out. The screen flashed with Toji’s caller ID, “Thank you, baby.” You kissed her cheek as you picked her up to sit her on your lap. 

“Yeah?,” You answered, hearing a sigh from the other end. You pulled your toddler closer to you just as she started to move near the edge of the bed. You that your voice didn’t sound hoarse at all. You didn’t cry as hard as you did with Satoru, but it was painful enough that you had to pause some chores just so you could think of a solution to fix it. 

You doubted there was a fix and if there was, you felt like Toji would only be trying out of pity for you.

You’re tired of that. You don’t want people to feel sorry for you anymore. You feel like you’ve been nothing but pitiful every year of your life. Your dad gave up on you and your mother, your baby daddy gave up on your relationship with him and now you feel like you caused Toji to give up on you too. 

Your brows bumped together at the thoughts and you were quick to shake your head, hoping it would shed off the searing pain in your chest as well. You can't have self-pity when you have a child. You’re determined to be better for her. Your index finger found its place on your lips, listening to your ex’s voice.

“Just wanna know how you’re doing.” You wanted to laugh, not to mock him but because you don’t really know how to explain how you feel to him. You decided to answer it from the surface, “I am okay, surprisingly.” You sniffed, hearing a sigh from the other end of the line and a tiny laugh from Megumi, probably watching something on his iPad. 

You would say it’s too early for him to call you, but this whole breakup isn’t even like the normal ones. You broke up for each other's well-being. Not because you fought, not because one of you cheated, not because you just started to hate each other. You broke up wanting only the best for each other.

“I know this is for the best.” You wanted to help Toji feel better about this decision. You could tell that there was guilt on his part. He probably feels like what he did was just an inch kinder than Satoru’s way of leaving you. That would eat him inside. The last thing Toji wants to do is shatter all your progress.

“I don’t feel the best about it.” There was no hint of amusement in his chuckle, no trace of smile in his words. You don’t even know if he meant to say he feels bad for doing this to you. You don’t want to assume that he’s not doing better away from you because you’re pretty sure he’s more relaxed now that he doesn’t have to worry about his girlfriend thinking of someone even when she’s with him. 

“Please, don’t dwell on it. I, uh, I have thought things through and it’s… it’s just getting kind of lighter for me.” You blinked away each tear that came with the lies that are flowing out of your tongue. It’s not getting any lighter. If anything, the crushing weight is still continuously pressing down on you and you know any time soon, you might break down in this phone call.

“I don’t know if I can trust your words…” Aside from the fact that it has only been a day, Toji thought back on your last conversation before you broke up. He’s well-aware of your tendencies to push all of your feelings aside  because you blame yourself for the fall of your relationship. You would probably shoulder all of this again, like you did with your separation from Satoru.

Toji isn’t all clean here but he doesn’t know how to get that to you. You can be very stubborn when it comes to these things especially when it concerns your past. It’s an unhealed part of you and Toji can’t help but feel like your previous arguments, his words to 

you and how he made you feel contributed to it rather than alleviate it.

“Toji, this isn't good for me. For us,” You’re not talking about your relationship with him but it’s about him contacting you. “I know that we’re still good, we broke up to save each other,” you laughed half-heartedly, “Our kids are friends, of course, we can’t just throw that away, but for now…” You took a deep breath.

“For now, let’s give each other space. I’m not mad at you, I could never hate you but, Toji, this isn’t helping me at all.” The crack in your voice sent a blow to Toji’s heart, “I…I want to be able to talk to you, see you and visit Megumi with Yui without feeling the guilt of letting something so good slip away so, please...” You took a deep, painful breath.

“Let’s just give each other some space. Just until I have picked myself up again.” You covered your mouth, desperate to turn away from your child who’s been starting to glance at you. Toji’s silence felt like it could squeeze you, like a soundless bubble getting smaller and smaller around you. 

“I’m sorry. I…I shouldn’t have called.” Of course, you’re not fine, Is he out of his mind? The voices in Toji’s head knocked sense into him as he realized what he did. How could he be so insensitive? Is it because he knows of his crimes, the source of his guilt and how he didn’t think it would affect him as much as it does now?

Now, even this breakup feels selfish. How could he just decide to leave when you’ve been trying so hard? He’s not different from your baby daddy—running away when they couldn’t handle the pressure, leaving you to clean up after the mess. Toji closed his eyes tight, clearing his head, begging himself to say the right words and make the correct decisions.

“I—I’m still here for you always, alright? Take care, Y/N. Kiss Yui good night for me.” He spoke slowly, fighting the loss in the empty space he’s staring at, absorbing your soft hums and apology as he continued, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry, baby. It took every fiber in his baby not to say it like that. For your sake. And for him. 

If you never talk to him again, he will miss you forever.

You put the phone down, feeling your daughter’s head on your chest as she stared up at you. Your mother once said that children do not understand these things yet but they feel their parents’ pain when it happens. And just like that, it’s almost as if your baby girl can read you. Her eyes says that she wants to help but doesn’t know how because she doesn’t eve understand it.

“Mama sad?” Her voice was small, it’s amazing that even at her age she knows how to try and soothe you. She knows that this is not the time to be playful without even knowing the situation. All she knows is that her mother is sad and crying. “No, mama’s just tired.” You smiled at her and for the first time she seems hesitant to reciprocate it.

“Mama sleep.” She got suddenly, bouncing her way to the spot next to you as she gets into a curled sleeping position. She’s a smart child. You laid down next to her, cuddling her small frame for as long as she can sit still but it wasn’t long before she was playing again, forgetting about it all. She’s still a baby after all. But this kid right here is the one who will always pull you out of the waters.

You wished that you could forget and get over this as quickly as this baby does, You wished it would all just fly out of your mind, that you could just throw up all of the pain out of your heart. You wished that you could just dust off the broken pieces of your relationship from your clothes, that you could scrub away the pain in the shower and watch it flow down the drain.

—————————-

“Look, I know Yui’s always been our priority but if you need a bit of time for yourself, you know you can leave Yui with me.” Satoru came earlier than expected. You can tell that he’s trying to stay inside the ‘boundaries’ as he struggled to find the right words to say about your breakup with Toji.

“You should take a break from work, if you think that’s what you need, I will-“ You placed a hand on his arm, stopping him. Satoru doesn’t want to seem like he’s taking advantage of the situation, that’s the last thing he wants to do. As painful as it is to admit it, he knows that you love Toji. 

“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You forced out a laugh, trying to make it better than how it really is. It’s clear to Satoru that you’re having a hard time. He could see it in your face, your eyes. Satoru remembered those times when he would do anything just to avoid looking at you and seeing how badly he broke you.

He was heartless for letting himself make you feel like that. He was stupid for letting you feel like that. 

“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You let out a laugh, retracting your hand away as you reached for the towel to wipe your daughter’s food-stained cheek. “Megumi and Yui still play together, I mean they’re besties now, right?” Yui giggled at the mention of her friend.

As much as Satoru wants to have another chance with you, he just doesn’t think he would deserve it just like that. Also, he doesn’t think he can see you like this everyday. Now he wants to talk to Toji. If it’s because of his interactions with you then Satoru himself would volunteer to give the big guy the assurance he wants. 

It would be painful for Satoru but to see you so dull makes him want to give up his fight. If he even has some. His friends, mostly Shoko, already told him that he already lost all his chances. “You’re not a cat. You don’t get nine lives in this Satoru.” She would say and Suguru would quickly add “You used to have nine lives, actually. But you’re a dead man to her now.” It was playful but depressing talk but valid but…sad.

It was everything but playful to Satoru, no matter how much his friends tried to lighten up the delivery, it still felt like playing darts with his heart. Because he knows how much truth those words hold. He would smile and shake his head. His friends are never the ones to sugarcoat shit. 

After saying goodbye to  Y/N with his baby girl, Satoru can’t help but feel curious about your breakup. He’s almost a hundred percent sure that it’s Toji’s decision because of how you are right now. He doubts that you’d be the one to break it off. You’re a fighter, he knows that. He hates that you have to deal with these cowards of men who only know how to break.

But of course, Toji’s more deserving than him. That’s the bitter truth. Toji left for your good, while Satoru…just gave up on you back then. He will regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn’t get you back. 

Get you back. He felt like a villain, hoping that you were the first to initiate the split. That would give Satoru so much hope. Thinking about why you did it (if you did), taunts him into assuming that maybe you still have something with him. But this isn’t right. No. Satoru should be better than this. Your happiness comes first. Even if it’s not with him.

Satoru swallowed the rushing mix of emotions that fogged his mind as he drives. It felt like swallowing needles, allowing them to go straight to his cracking heart. It’s almost impossible now, huh, to get you back? Even when you’re single again, it still feels impossible. Why is he even imagining it?

Shaking his head, he successfully parked his car, clapping his hands as he looked at Yui through the rearview mirror. “Let’s go now, my heart~” He sing-songed and the toddler eagerly reached up to him. “Tomorrow we go back to Mama, alright? She’s kinda sad, isn’t she? We gotta rescue that!” Yui cheered with him, despite not understanding what her father was saying.

Satoru knows that he can’t meddle with your relationship with Toji, no matter how much it bothers him. The least he can do is try to brighten your mood. Without any ulterior motives, of course. This is a vulnerable time for you. He doesn’t think he can stomach trying to get in through those cracks in your heart because of your failed relationship. 

It’s not the right thing to do and that’s not what a good person who truly cares would do. He can only support you, but he doesn’t plan on taking advantage of this situation. 

—-------------------------------------------------

3 months later

It’s a blessing to be a mother. It’s hard too. Especially, when your daughter won’t allow you to have a break from your ex for more than three months. “Mama!” She screamed at the top of her lungs for the hundredth time that morning. “I just took your bag, let’s go.” You wished you could’ve taken a picture of her, standing as she held the door of her room open.

“You’re so big now, baby.” Her birthday’s in a few months and you feel like crying because it felt like you just gave birth to her yesterday and now she’s turning three. Time is a thief. You wonder if so much has changed with Toji’s life too. You wouldn’t be shocked if he’s got a new girlfriend. After all, Satoru only took a few weeks to find someone new when you broke up.

That fucking stings. You told yourself and if you weren’t holding your daughter’s hand and her bag you would physically clutch your chest. The thought of being so replaceable has been a constant in your mind since Satoru and Naomi. 

And if it happens with Toji again, you’d probably just close the table for love.  You drove to the park, a meeting place you chose for the kids. You don’t want to be in Toji’s house. You don’t think you can handle that yet. 

You wondered if you’d be greeted by some new lady with him, like how Satoru received you with Naomi’s head on his chest. What if they play with the kids instead and leave you out of place during the whole play date? Or what if they leave you to watch the kids while they get some snacks, taking their time to play couple while you wait?

What if— A knock on your window broke off your train of thoughts as you took in your surroundings. That’s right. You’ve been driving and now you’re at the part. And now Toji’s shading his eyes, his hand arched over his brows as he tried to see through your windows. “Gumi!” Yui squealed, kicking in her car seat as Megumi waved from the outside. 

Toji was holding him in one hand as his bag hang loosely on Toji’s shoulder. You rolled the windows down, gulping your anxiety as you thanked the heavens that none of the scenarios in your head came true. 

“You spaced out.” He chuckled a bit awkwardly as he smiled at you. There’s something new about him. Did he really glow up after leaving you? You almost frowned but you gave him a laugh, trying to think of an excuse as to why you’re sitting absentmindedly in your car a few minutes before meeting with your ex and his child.

“I was trying to remember if I locked our door.” You laughed, gathering your things as you stepped out. “Can I hold that for you?” Toji offered as you opened Yui’s door. You thanked him softly, trying your best to seem relaxed. You don’t know if you should be glad or worried that he’s being so cool.

It could be because he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or because he doesn’t really give two shits about your relationship with him that he doesn’t even feel uneasy meeting for the first time after you broke up. 

Or maybe because he’s already moved on to someone else, he just didn’t bring her with him because he’s a respectful man. You swore you heard a voice say it and it almost convinced you that it’s your brain that wants you dead. “Yui.” Megumi’s neck stretched as he looked over your shoulder for his best friend.

“Chill, man. Your long lost bestie will be free in a minute.” He still doesn’t fail to make you laugh. You put Yui down and watched the two kids adorably and messily hug. Now you’re glad that you taught them the importance of hugs. 

“It’s cute that they’re still comfortable with each other.” You commented, pulling at your clothes as you tried to distract yourself from checking your ex out. You’re thinking hard to figure out what changed with his look. Aside from his forehead showing as the wind played with his dark hair, 

“Let’s sit there, near the seesaw. They love that.” The kids were talking in a language only they understand, pointing at stuff before laughing as if it was the funniest thing they saw while to you, it looked like nothing. You would give everything to be a kid again. Just carefree and happy. But seeing your daughter makes you realize you wouldn’t have this any other way.

“How have you been?” He started as you sat down, hugging yourself as you looked ahead at the children. To be honest, you don’t know how to answer that. Do you tell him first that you miss him? Or do you tell him first that you got a clearer understanding of the holes in your relationship with him?

“I won’t deny that I missed you.” He chuckled leaning back. “But I did some reflecting.” He paused, glancing over to you, eyes traveling across your face. “A lot of reflecting actually.” He nodded, licking his lips. Right. That’s right, you thought, referring to his looks. Aside from his hair being longer, he looked…softer. You blinked away your thoughts, clearing your vision.

“I…I’m okay.” You don’t know how to tell him it could’ve been better if he was still with you. You wondered if your relationship problems would’ve been gone now if you didn’t break up. Would it have been better by now if you kept going? “I missed you, of course. But,” You laughed airily, “I’m getting better.”

You didn’t let your breakup with Toji affect you as a mother to Yui. But if you’re talking about yourself. You’re still trying. You have lived without Toji, of course, you can still keep going now. But your split felt like a crash from cloud nine. You’ve been so soaked with your happiness with him that when he left it felt like you were slowly getting drained and dry.

He walked you into a field of roses and when you returned to your old garden you realized how dull it was. Yui was your sunshine in those days under the dark clouds. She was a sunlight that went out of its way to bring a smile on your face. “It’ll get better.” You sighed, glancing at Toji and seeing the solemn look on his face. Does he feel sorry for you? Does he feel guilty for leaving so abruptly as your baby daddy did? Does he feel—

“It doesn’t feel any better for me at all.” Toji’s not one to hide the reality of his feelings from people he feels comfortable with. It melts your heart when you think about how he loosens up with you. It makes you feel special. Though, not special enough to fight for.

“It will. Soon.” You looked down. You know that it wasn’t his intention to make you feel as if you’re making him feel guilty for choosing his peace. But it still feels like it and you don’t know what to say anymore. I’m sorry? I’m sorry that you feel sorry for me? He nodded, smiling so softly. Charming, you thought. You feel sad for the people who don't get to see this. Yes, his smirk can make one feel things but this smile…

The day went by fast, Toji invited you to dinner since a restaurant was nearby but you politely declined. It’s not that you want to. It’s just that you have to. One thing that you learned from your heartbreak with Satoru is that the more that you see them, the deeper the shards cut. 

“My mom’s coming over for dinner. Maybe next time.” Your genuine smile contradicted the lie flowing out of your lips. It was so tempting when he looked like this, but you have to stand your ground. Next time. The two words reverberated inside Toji’s head and that was enough to push aside the disappointment he felt when you declined. 

“That’s alright. There’s always a next time.” It sounded as if he was reassuring himself, emphasizing that you’re fine with meeting him and Megumi again next time. This is enough for now. After all, he still has to reflect on a couple of things regarding your breakup. But everything always seems to be pointing him back to you. 

—————————

“Just call me when you’re ready to go, and I’ll pick you up.” Satoru’s words before he left you and Yui earlier started to get twisted inside Toji’s head. Now that Toji has let you go, Satoru’s just waiting for your go signal so he can pick you up again. He swallowed dryly, faking a smile when you looked back at him, laughing at whatever the kids did that he didn’t see.

Time flew by fast but that image of you leaning towards Satoru so that he could give his daughter a kiss as he said that to you has been stuck in Toji’s head all day. The kids were drinking juice with small towels around their shoulders. “I can, uh, I can just drive you home, you know? I mean, so that Satoru wouldn’t have to drive all the way here again.” He suggested, wiping off some of the water droplets in his son’s body.

“It’s alright, he’s already on his way anyway and he owes Yui a kitty cake that they didn’t get to buy last time.” You smiled at him, before asking to leave to give Yui a quick warm shower. Toji would’ve wanted to chat a bit more with you. Just spend more time with you. He couldn’t ask for so much of it now. It felt like it would be too much of an imposition for him to do so. 

After a couple of minutes, the doorbell rang and he placed Megumi on one of the rugs, reminding him to stay there so he won’t slip. He sighed, running to his gate, knowing that it would be Satoru and of course, since you’re still getting Yui ready, the polite thing to do is to let him sit and maybe, entertain your baby daddy a bit.

“Oh, come on in. She’s just getting Yui ready.” His voice was almost monotonous, the nod of his head was another way to be a bit more ‘friendly’ to the guy. “You a fan of iced tea?” Toji cleared his throat with Satoru following behind him. Megumi was still on the rug, staring off into space. Toji can’t help but laugh when Satoru waved a hand at his face.

“Yui Dad.” He looked up, waving his small hand despite the blank look on his face. “He really looks like you.” Satoru commented, “Except his hair.” Toji placed a pitcher on the counter, pouring a glass for the man, something he didn’t think he would ever do. “I’m glad you and Y/N are doing better,” Toji spoke after a couple of minutes of silence. 

“Yeah,” Satoru nodded, holding Megumi’s hand as he tried to walk towards Toji. “We’re getting more used to this co-parenting thing. Figured out it was healthier for all of us when we’re not constantly arguing about something.” Toji doesn’t know if it’s right to say it but it already came out of his mouth before he realized it.

“The both of you single made it better, eh?” He didn’t mean it to start something with Satoru again, it’s just that that is the first thing that popped up in his head when he heard him. “Yes and No.” Satoru answered before he could even back it up with something lighthearted. “Me being single, yes. Because Naomi was basically a wedge, one cause of the problems that used to arise between us. And no, because no problem arises directly from you regarding those arguments.” He shrugged, taking a sip before continuing. 

“Actually, I don’t even know why you broke up with her, if I’m going to be frank I trusted you with my family already, why did you even left her?” He’s saying a lot more now than before. Definitely a healthier man. And he seems like he’s back to his real self now. Toji might even assume he’s drunk if only you didn’t mention that he doesn’t handle liquor well.

“I’m not trying to guilt-trip you, alright? I want you to love her because you truly love her, but come on, man, there’s no threat.” Yui definitely takes after her father. Very talkative, Toji thought. Inhaling, he gathered his thoughts and which aspect of what Satoru has said he should focus on, “I don’t know.” Was his short answer. 

“I mean… I was worried. I don’t know if she’s really over you. I don’t want her to keep hurting by my side.” It was quiet. Satoru didn’t speak, allowing Toji to continue. “Plus, I fear that she will forever feel like she just comes second to my wife. To be honest, I feel that with her too. With you being her first.” Toji felt surprised at his honesty. He just hopes that you won’t overhear this.

“You’re the present. I’m her past.” It felt bitter for Satoru to say, “I’m starting to accept that now. I’m just contented that I can be with my daughter and that I take care of them even from the sidelines.” 

But Satoru would forever wish it didn't have to be like that. 

“I’m not playing matchmaker. I just want what’s best for her. Even if it’s not me, Toji.” He stood up, sighing as he heard footsteps coming closer. You came in struggling to carry a barefoot, laughing little girl, a towel and her bag. “Dada!” She screamed with a smile as she tries to get away from you. “You’ll slip!” You warned her and Satoru quickly went closer to take her in his arms. 

Toji sat there for a minute more, processing the man’s words. The best for you. If he’s going to ask Satoru about it, he’d say that if he has to pick someone for Y/N, Toji will be a top candidate. Aside from the fact that he’s a good man who truly cares for her, he also easily understands your situation because he has a child of his own too.

It’s safe to say that right now, you’re the only man that Satoru feels is safe to leave his daughter and baby momma with. His past mistakes and horrible decisions put him in this place and the least that he could do to make it all up to you is support you and whatever makes you happy as long as it’s good for you and his child.

“We’ll be going now, thank you, Toji.” Only then has Toji realize that he’s been staring at the three of you now and his baby boy who’s trying to hug Yui as her father puts on her shoes. “Uh, yeah. Let me walk you guys out.” He licked his lips, blinking fast as he tried to snap himself back to reality. “Come on, Megs. After this, you take a bath, alright?” He picked him up, wrapping a towel around his body.

“Come again. Please.” Satoru laughed as the little boy waved, probably worried that it would take months for his little friend to come over again. “She’ll be back soon, bro. Chill.” That’s wild, Toji thought, He just called my son ‘bro’. Before you could even get on the other side of the car, Toji has made up his mind. “Uhm, Y/N.” You looked up at him, for some reason, eyes shining with what seemed to be…hope.

“Can we come over sometime?” Megumi’s little cheer made your smile wider, nodding at them, “Of course..” You felt like a teen, worried that you answered too quickly, “Anything for that ‘gumi smile.” You played it off cool but kept your eyes on Toji the whole time. 

You didn’t hear anything about what he and Satoru talked about. But it was nice to know that they’re starting to get along. Inside, Satoru was fixing his daughter’s things, somehow glad that he couldn’t hear whatever the of two of you were talking about because no matter how happy he is for you, he’d always break into smaller pieces each time he saw you smile and look at Toji like that.

He knows. Because you used to look at him like that. 

Albeit, crossed with pain and longing, you used to look at him with so much love. Overflowing. And then, along with the tears he caused. It felt like acid in his stomach, threatening to spill out of his mouth whenever he thought of what you went through because of him. But now you’re happy. 

He didn’t know that love would show him that some people are worth being pulverized for.  

The car door opened just as he pretended to find something inside the glove compartment and he swallowed the pang in his chest at the glow on your face. “Gumi, babye! Gumi, babye!” His child screams behind him, waving her hands back at her playmate. “You ready to go?” He asked you and you hummed, glee evident even in the small sound. 

With that, the two of you waved at Toji and Megumi, pulling out of their driveway. You smiled at the shared nods between Toji and Satoru before speeding down the road to the bakery where Satoru usually buy Yui’s cakes. Your mind kept going back to Toji. Maybe you’re being delusional but you can’t help but feel like he had to gather the courage to ask you that very last-minute question. 

He feels like a…high school crush. 

And maybe he’s being a high school crush because a week later, he shows up at your doorstep dressed like a heartthrob with a kid in oversized sunglasses and a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

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[ch6sos]

₊˚⊹♡ dad!nanami headcanons

summary: simple headcanons of nanami being the Best Dad ever <33

cw: all in lowercase because i was a bit lazy i am sorry-

3.5k words oopsies not too much but still a good enough number yuh

dad!nanami who cries upon seeing his newborn baby girl, grateful that she was born.

dad!nanami who climbs inside of his daughter's crib/bassinet while she cries and just gently puts her on top of his chest, softly caressing her fragile head and giving her soft kisses.

dad!nanami who is so patient with his baby. when she cries he doesn't get frustrated or mad, he tries his best to make her feel better by reassuring her with words or giving her favorite toy.

dad!nanami who loves looking into his daughter’s eyes because she has his sweet amber eyes in doe form.

dad!nanami who coos at his baby all the time, his most genuine smiles stemming because he's happy to have such a blessing in his life.

dad!nanami who has his baby on his lap while she gets shot with a needle at the doctors, and proceeds to glare at them or try not to cry because of the small wails of his baby girl.

dad!nanami who always carries his baby with him in one of those baby wrap carriers. he even brought her to work once, and the baby just relaxed with him while he typed away at his computer.

dad!nanami who once felt lonely as an only child, wants to have another baby or adopt one because he doesn't want his daughter to grow up feeling too alone.

dad!nanami who lets his daughter pat his face with her slobbery, sticky hands, but scrunches his nose up at her and gives her small kisses.

dad!nanami who gets home from work and immediately grabs his baby girl, collapsing on the couch and lays with her while he has her lying on his chest, and drifting off to sleep with his suit on.

dad!nanami who spoils his baby, with clothes, toys, and more, and enjoys seeing the gummy smile on her face.

dad!nanami who goes through instagram or social media, sees babies on his explore page everywhere, and begins to have more baby fever.

dad!nanami who gets sad when his baby is sick, and immediately starts trying to make her feel better. he has to sneakily give her medicine because she refuses to drink it, and remembers that his parents told him once that he was the same way, he was a stubborn little baby.

dad!nanami who finally has a use for the random pairs of baby shoes snuck away in his closet; he doesn't have to buy them because he thinks they're cute, he now has a daughter who can use them.

dad!nanami who once always had a stoic look on his face, but as soon as he had his daughter, the most genuine smiles ever come out of his face. his friends and people around him are surprised, as they never see him smile.

dad!nanami who is desperate to get off of work just to see his baby.

dad!nanami who bought a bed extension so that he could keep the baby close to him on most nights, even though the baby has her own nursery.

dad!nanami who lets his baby girl chew on his ties, even though they're expensive. 

dad!nanami who is an absolute softie for his baby girl. even when she is chewing on his tie, when she broke something, he could never be too angry at her.

dad!nanami who is overwhelmed with emotion when he realizes his baby has spoken her first word. as he hears the faint "yes!" escape her lips, he is filled with joy and tears. He gently scoops her up and spins her around, a mix of laughter and tears escaping from him.

dad!nanami who is overcome with emotion as he watches his baby take her first steps. he sits on the couch, eagerly waiting for her to clumsily make her way towards him. a wide smile spreads across his face as he extends his arms to welcome her into his embrace. tears well up in his eyes as he feels overwhelming joy. his daughter, seeing her dad cry, becomes emotional as well, and joins in with tears of her own.

dad!nanami who does not trust almost anyone with his daughter, only his partner and ino. 

dad!nanami who notices his daughter babbling at something, and notices that she was babbling at an old photo of him and haibara. he smiles fondly, gently whispering in her ear.

"yeah, that's your uncle. he would've loved you so much, sweet pea."

dad!nanami who bursts out laughing when he sees his little one trying to slap gojo in the face, gently kissing the top of her head. 

"attagirl. you're so smart. i'd love for you to do that more."

dad!nanami who lets yuji see his daughter, and closely watches him as he takes care of her. he smiles fondly though, knowing that yuji was another reason why he wanted a kid.

dad!nanami who, on his daughter’s first birthday, had a small little gathering for her, and chuckled as she looked out of it and stoic, almost reminiscent of his personality.

dad!nanami who prepares himself for the "terrible two's & threes", knowing that his daughter may be more temperamental around this time. though, he doesn't need to do much because he does gentle discipline.

dad!nanami who blinks, and all of a sudden his baby isn't one, two or three, but now is five, entering kindergarten.

dad!nanami who looks at his daughter, smiling gently as she grabs her backpack and they head inside of the school. but then frowns and kneels when his daughter begins to cry a bit.

"listen, my love, i know it's scary. being in a room with strangers your age. but i promise, everything will be okay, alright? you’re such a brave girl, i know you are. no need to be nervous, okay? you’re smart, you’re the best, so i know you will have friends right away."

his daughter immediately smiles a bit, and she gives him a soft kiss on his cheek and nose. 

"okay... i love you, papa... so much. bye bye.."

dad!nanami who is still parked in front of the school building for a while, overwhelmed with emotion, tears streaming down his face as he realizes just how much he loves his daughter and how quickly she is growing up.

dad!nanami who sits down and looks at his baby girl fondly while she blabbers about her first day at school. 

dad!nanami who is basically a second teacher to his daughter, he teaches her how to read and she always enjoyed reading ever since she was way younger, so she is advanced for her age. he smiles when he hears this at the parent-teacher conference and rewards her.

dad!nanami who nearly faints out of joy when he realizes he's gonna have another kid. 

dad!nanami who loves to fix up his daughter’s hair, running his hands through it, and gently kissing the top of her head while she sits on his lap.

dad!nanami who puts his daughter on top of the stool so she can watch him cook/bake something for her.

dad!nanami who tells his child that she is going to have another sibling, which immediately resorts to talks about where babies come from.

dad!nanami stalled on the question, trying to think of how he would tell her the answer to that question. the stork? magic?

dad!nanami who, on his days off, takes his daughter out onto an adventure, taking her to the park, going on the swings, and getting frozen yogurt and pastries from his favorite bakery.

dad!nanami who does anything for his daughter, dresses up as a princess, dresses up as a superhero just to play along in her games.

dad!nanami who takes his daughter trick or treating and secretly has a rivalry with all the kids in that neighborhood so he has to obviously make his daughter the best costume. 

dad!nanami who proudly takes a picture of his daughter holding up any achievement they earned from school, and posting it on his facebook, instagram, whatsapp status...

dad!nanami who smiles when his daughter asks "do you got games on your phone, pa?" just for it to be candy crush.

dad!nanami who makes sure his kids aren't on technology at a young age because he wants them to live their youth not on social media.

dad!nanami who only shows discipline by showing disappointment in his face. if his daughter cries at his face he would immediately soften up and begin carrying her, smothering her with kisses.

dad!nanami realizes his second child, his son, is a carbon copy of him, from his hair to his eyes, to his facial expression and attitude, he was the same as him.

dad!nanami holding his two children as he reads a book on the couch, each on the side of him.

dad!nanami who officially retired to become a househusband, and stays home to take care of his children. he still receives big money!

dad!nanami who chuckles at his son as he eats food with a slightly grumpy expression, reminding him of how his mother told him he used to be like that.

dad!nanami who does not have a favorite because both of his children are his top priority in life.

dad!nanami who watches with a fond smile as his daughter shows kindness to her little brother. he tries to hold back his tears, but they fall anyway, causing his two little ones to cry as well.

dad!nanami who goes out with his little ones and has his son on the baby strap thingy and his daughter holds his hand as they walk.

dad!nanami who talks about his daughter and son in every conversation he has with people, and spends time rambling about them, about their achievements, about how cute they are...

dad!nanami who plays peekaboo with his son chuckles when he bursts out giggling.

dad!nanami who takes pictures of his son, but he always has a small scowl or a serious expression on his face. he smiles at the sight of it.

dad!nanami who once got visited by gojo, and while his daughter took a liking of uncle gojo, his son does the same thing that she once did when she was younger, sticks out his tongue at him, and looks at him with a grumpy expression.

"next time, you should bite him." 

dad!nanami, who somehow knows about the mom gossip because they believe he is the only man ever to be allowed in the mom gossip, so he somehow knows... everything about the neighbourhood.

dad!nanami who notices his kids have taking a liking to bread, just like him, so he begins to make his bread and feeds them it.

dad!nanami who plays music while he cleans, and then smiles widely when he notices his son, dancing along to it. he then grabs him out of the crib, and slowly dances with him in his arms.

dad!nanami who once wakes up to see his three loves, his partner, daughter, and son made him breakfast in bed. he happily gives them all a kiss, thanking them.

dad!nanami who sees his son playing with his watch, and sees him trying to put it on. he laughs at the sight, knowing that his son will probably turn out to be exactly like him.

dad!nanami watching as his son crawls ontop of him everytime he's on the couch or in the bed, and he smiles fondly.

dad!nanami, who unknowingly fell asleep many times with both of his kids on top of him, his partner having a whole collection of the pictures.

dad!nanami who lets yuji sees his new son, and watches as yuji got better at handling and holding the newborn. he looks at them with so much love, knowing that in the future, yuji will also guide him like his little brother.

dad!nanami who used to have drinking as pastime before having kids, but completely stop as soon as his daughter was born. 

dad!nanami who spends moments reading to both of his kids, or singing lullabies so they could go to sleep.

dad!nanami who smiles when he realizes his first son's word was not dad, but his name. he heard yuji say "nanamin", and then he copied his words, only saying the min part.

"no, no baby. it's dada... da-da!"

"min!" 

dad!nanami who doesn't care, he just tries not to tear up again at his son who said his first words.

dad!nanami who watches his son, does the same thing his daughter did - looking and pointing at a picture of him and haibara. he smiles sadly, yet finds solace in the fact that both of his children have somehow acknowledged his best friend whom he lost so long ago.

"that's your uncle haibara. he would be so happy to see that you know who he is, bubba."

dad!nanami looks at the picture of haibara, with a frown on his face. he can't help but feel saddened that his friend never had the chance to grow up alongside him, and was left behind in the past. he reflects that haibara would have been glad to see him happy for once.

dad!nanami hears a faint murmur, and it seems as though his son said "haibara." picking this up, he tries not to cry.

dad!nanami who teaches his curious daughter how to cook, since she loves watching him as he cooks. they then take up the food to his partner.

dad!nanami who sees his daughter one day comforting her baby brother from crying, exactly like how he used to comfort her as a baby. he feels his heart explode from how cute it looked.

dad!nanami who blinks again, and all of a sudden his two children are 8 and 13, but no, he doesn't have just two children. he has an additional one, this time another girl, who is two years younger than her big brother.

dad!nanami who takes his children to the beach to make sandcastles, and lets them do whatever they want to him. so of course, he gets buried with sand as they laugh at him.

dad!nanami who prepares for his daughter's adolescence, understanding that she's experiencing growth hormones and puberty. he willingly provides period products for her and supports her through any challenges. when she becomes more irritable, he addresses it with understanding and patience, not taking it personally.

dad!nanami who raised a son who reads at a seventh grade level as a third grader. 

dad!nanami, who also has his youngest daughter, who is only six years old, reading at a third grade level and his eldest daughter, who is an eighth grader almost reading at a college level.

dad!nanami who lowkey interrogates his teenage daughter's friends when they come over. she tells him to calm down, and eventually he does. she always asks him why does he do it.

"it's obvious, sweet pea. you have to be careful with who you surround yourself with, especially at your age. when i was your age-"

"okay dad, i get it, you're old!"

"hey, i'm not THAT old."

dad!nanami who prepares michelin star level meals for his family, his daughter occasionally helping.

dad!nanami who notices that his son grew up to be similar to him; stoic yet caring, smart and respectful...

dad!nanami who buys everything for his kids; when they have a new interest they have to get ready because he's going to bombard them with merch of it.

dad!nanami who is respectful of his adolescent daughter's privacy; though occasionally worries about her and wants to know about her life.

dad!nanami who does his youngest daughter's hair, and reminisces about how he used to do his eldest daughter's hair when she was the same age.

dad!nanami who gathers up his kids and they keep haibara in their remembrance, and he tells them stories about haibara of when they were teenagers.

dad!nanami, who observes that his adolescent daughter is going through an emo phase—albeit one he is familiar with.

dad!nanami, who enjoys showing his children affection by hugging and kissing them from time to time, wants them to be able to communicate their feelings effectively, as he was not able to do when he was younger.

dad!nanami who raised a non-ipad kid family, he limits their technology use and makes sure they're living offline more than online.

dad!nanami who makes christmas an absolute experience for them. he dresses up as santa, has a whole neat pile of presents for each of them, and prepares them a fancy christmas dinner.

dad!nanami who doesn't believe in birthday celebrations for his kids because they share his preference for low-key events. however, he shows his love by taking them out for a special meal or getting them whatever they desire.

dad!nanami who enjoys spending quality time with his kids. he loves playing Scrabble with them, and even though he's a scrabble master, he lets his kids win to boost their confidence and make the game more enjoyable for them.

dad!nanami who sees his eldest daughter come home with a bunch of flowers and letters on valentine’s day…

“i wanna see who these are from…” 

“dad! they’re nothing.”

“do you like any of them? if so, what are they like?”

“daaaaaad!”

“okay, fine. i’m sorry, sweet pea. i just can’t believe my baby is growing up so fast.”

dad!nanami who once saw his son in his closet, putting on one of his suits.

trying not to chuckle, he covers his mouth. “bubba, what is this?”

“my clothes.”

“oh? YOUR clothes? you have great taste, son.”

dad!nanami who realizes that his children are different in their own ways— his eldest daughter is emo like he once was, listening to my chemical romance, occasionally wearing his old jewelry and some of his old clothing, but she was not quiet like her father, she was bubbly and loud, the complete opposite of him.

his son, on the other hand, is more stoic, much like him. his son takes some time to smile, but around his father, he is a smile machine, especially when nanami tickles him or plays with him. he also enjoys reading a lot and is classy, just exactly like his father.

his youngest daughter, she is ambiverted. while loving interacting with people, there are times when she needs space or does not like talking to people. she is like a balance of both of her siblings but is not that developed yet. she is also a huge foodie like her father.

dad!nanami who has their drawings and report cards on the fridge, it looks like a mess because it is covered with achievements.

dad!nanami who still wears the handmade jewelry his children had to make during a kindergarten activity class.

dad!nanami who raises a house where everyone does something, they all clean, cook, and do chores.

dad!nanami who has several parenting books (even though he doesn't need them) but uses them to better understand his children and improve his parenting skills.

dad!nanami who raises his kids with so much love and affection; always making sure they're okay, comforting them through their hardest moments and making sure they treat others the way they want to be treated.

dad!nanami who is now older, his eldest daughter 24, his son 19, and his youngest daughter 17, seeing how his children grew up to be such amazing people.

he sees that they grew up to be such respectful individuals, feeling content that he and his partner did such a wonderful job.

he sees how his daughter, who is engaged to her significant other, has grown up to be such a lovely person—working her way up independently in the world while attempting to do good for the world by pursuing a law degree.

his son, who is a carbon copy of him in terms of looks, has also grown up as a person. he is strong when it comes to academics and has grown to become more sociable yet still introverted. he became an empathetic, considerate young man who upholds boundaries and constantly watches out for those closest to him, just like his father. he also grew up to be an animal lover; which is why he'd love to become a veterinarian.

his youngest daughter, who is currently a teenager but almost an adult, has grown up to be unbelievably intelligent. plays chess with her dad 24/7; honor roll, is the equivalent of someone that princeton university would accept …. she puts a lot of effort into her success and aspires to write in addition to running a flower shop (him core).

dad!nanami who loves all his children, so so much, and would do anything for them.

a/n im going to kms

[drabblesandimagines]

Too Many Beds

Leon Kennedy x reader, fluffy nonsense

Leon drums his fingers on the wooden counter of the rustic inn as the old man types –taps one painstaking finger at a time – into the clunky desktop PC, pausing every so often to peer down his spectacles and mutter under his breath about new-fangled technology.

It’s been a hell of a day, too many close calls for his liking – the amount of times it felt like his heart stopped beating when you took a hit or had disappeared from his eyeline - and it felt like a miracle that you’d even came across this place off the beaten track. You were near enough dead on your feet and he wasn’t far behind, so he’s thankful that it looks like a decent amount of sleep in a proper bed is on the cards… if the man ever worked out the computer system. He’s glad he pulled rank and ordered you to sit on the battered old couch just behind with the amount of time it's taking.

The man bangs the side of the monitor before giving a nod. “Sorry, grandson set us up with this thing for that “world wide web” and I promised my Martha I’d use it. Looks like we have the one room left, son, only a double, but-”

Leon doesn’t hear the rest – a mixture of exhaustion and his mind starting to spiral with the possible implications of sharing a bed.

There’d been so many moments this mission where he’d been a millisecond away from wrapping you up in his arms and kissing you. There’d always been a connection between the two of you – a fluttering feeling in his gut that he hadn’t felt since Ada, even better that you were on the same side – but it had never felt the right time to act upon it, not when you were fighting for your lives.

But sharing a bed… Well, couldn’t get a more intimate setting than that, right?

He hands over his credit card – under an alias – and smiles. “We’ll take it.”

Setting up the billing takes just as long as finding the room in the first place, but at last Leon is rewarded with an antique-looking brass key, a keyring displaying 4 attached to it.

“Room 4, son. Just up the stairs and to your left. Have a good night.”

“Thank you, sir.” Leon nods in gratitude before he turns to find you nodding off on the sofa, head propped up by an arm that’s slowly slipping off the armrest.

“Come on, sleeping beauty,” he crouches down and offers you a hand.

You accept it with a loud yawn, allowing Leon to pull you up to your feet. Weary legs cause you to stumble into him with a mumbled apology, bracing yourself with a hand on his chest. He wonders if you can feel how hard his heart is pounding at your touch through both the layers of his shirt and bullet-proof vest, having swapped round the order before the two of you had entered the establishment to avoid any questions.

“Let’s get you to bed, hm?”

“Please.”

He places a hand on the small of your back and guides you up the stairs and to the left, towards the room in question. He keeps his hand there even as he slides the key into the lock and opens the door, preparing to explain the sleeping situation - he’d take the floor and you’d protest, claiming his back has been through enough trauma today and he should just cuddle up with you in the bed and-

His eyes widen as he sees the double bed of his dreams…

..alongside two single beds and a crib.

“Wow, that’s…” His hand drops from your back in defeat. “That’s a lot of beds.”

“Mm. He said it was the family room, remember?” You yawn again, taking a few heavy steps over to the first bed – the double - and collapse down into it, not even bothering to remove your boots, jacket or gun.

Leon closes the door behind him with a muted sigh before engaging the lock, and trudges over to one of the single beds, the mattress creaking under his weight as he sits.

“Leon.”

“Mm?”

“What do you think you're doing?”

He looks over to you, your face smushed against the pillow, one eye open, brows furrowed in a confusion that mirrors his own.

He shrugs off his jacket as he replies. “Going to bed?”

“Yeah,” you scoff. “The wrong bed.”

“Huh?”

“Get over here, idiot.”

If he wasn’t so tired, he’ll argue the next morning, he would’ve put up a performance of protest, maybe thrown in a witty remark, but his legs move on their own and he finds himself laying down beside you before he can truly comprehend his actions.

You roll over to face him and before he can blink, you capture his lips in a chaste kiss, allowing him to deepen it when he regains his senses, before pulling away with a content sigh and turn back over.

He wraps his arm around your waist, legs becoming entangled as he pulls you into his chest, pressing a kiss to your crown.

“This better, sweetheart?”

“Much.”

Best night of sleep he’s had in years.

--- Inspired by this post. Comments, likes and reblogs make my whole day x

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi

[babygirl-riley]

Daddy’s Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird

When coming home Simon hears his daughter start to fuss.

Warnings: angst, mentions of childhood trauma, fluff, swearing, Dad!Simon

simon x reader guide

simon x reader family edition

Simon was fucking tired, the mission was long and difficult. It took them 4 months to plan the fucker just for the target to know their every move. He lost lots of men and women those nights, they had to camp somewhere in the middle of the desert cause transportation got fucked.

He unlocked the door of his home and walked in. Immediately he heard the whimpering. Simon heard you trying to lullaby both of your toddler. Simon was told that she has been sick for almost 4 days. It was teething that led to two ear infections. His poor angel was getting her ass jumped left and right with them infections.

He took his mask and boots off leaving them on the shelf near the door. He locked the door as he made his way through the hallway. When getting closer he heard you sniffling. “I don’t know what to do baby girl,” The toddler cried harder as you cried with her. “I am sorry. What do you need baby?”

Simon tapped the door making you jump. At first you thought you were going to fight but then relief came through. “Simon,” You started to sob. “Just take a shower and I will be there in minute.”

“I can take her.” He said walking fully in.

“No,” You wiped your tears quickly before shaking your head. “It’s fine you just got home. Please just take a shower love.”

Simon nodded, he didn’t want to but he could tell if he didn’t you would burst. He saw the dark circles under your eyes, how red your eyes were. You haven’t gotten any sleep. That tugged at his best strings, you have been dealing with this all by yourself so he wants to be able to help you.

Simon quickly got into the shower, washing all the paint, blood, sweat, and dirt from him. He waited for a moment before turning the faucet off and get out. He heard your sobs once more as he wrapped the towel around himself. Opening the door that showed you laying on your side curled up. Simon walked up to you and sat next to your body. He placed a hand on your hip rubbing circles.

“Not the best welcome home,” You sighed turning to face him. “Im sorry.”

“For what love? Taking care of our child? Don’t ever apologize for that.” He reassured, basically whispering.

“Just me crying and Im so fucking tried. She doesn’t sleep nothing longer than maybe 5 minutes before she is screaming. And I wanted to give you a warmer welcome and instead buzzed you off and…”

“Thats enough sweethear’ it has been a long week for you,” He got up to grab sweatpants and went around to his side to pull the blankets up and over him. You watched as he laid and scooted closer to you wrapping his arm around you. “Come ‘ere, get some sleep my dove.”

He doesn’t remember when you fell asleep or even him. Simon heard the soft whimpers start, you didn’t move and he was glad that you didn’t. He was also very happy that you moved out of his grasp while in your sleep. Simon carefully and quietly headed out of the room. Rubbing his tired eyes as he made it to his daughter’s room.

When he approached the room there she was. Standing up in her crib crying, once her eyes landed on his she cried harder. “Daddy.” She called a couple of times.

“Alright princess, you’re alright daddy’s here.” He said picking her up.

It took him a back of how hot she is, sweat gripping her pjs. Her crying increasing as she gripped onto his shoulder. “Shhh I know,” He said bouncing up and down. “I know baby.”

He felt her diaper and walked to the changing table, which to her was a sin. When he placed her down she screamed a bit, immediately he gently placed a palm on her chest. Putting small pressure. She stopped screaming as she still cried. His daughter loved when he did that when she wanted to be cuddled yet when he had to do certain things like this.

Because of how many times he has done this with her, he one handed did the diaper. He left her only in her diaper, get some air to her skin due to sweating and her being hot. As she still cried, he picked her up and lead out of the room walking to the kitchen. “Let’s try a warm bottle and me a tea yeah?” He said quietly, holding her close as she still cried.

While working on the bottle he rocked back and forth waiting for the teapot to heat up. He wrapped both of his arms around her holding her more close. “I’m ‘orry my birdie, teeth are arseholes. I know.”

She held around his neck placing her head down on his shoulder. Simon kept holding on until the smallest noise came from the pot. He didn’t want to wake you, he was even surprised you haven’t woke up yet. His daughter became more whimpering than crying.

He poured his mug first so the water could cool down just a bit more. Then poured water into her bottle. He made his tea before finish making her bottle. Afterward he walked to the living room and placed the tv on. Miss Rachel was her favorite to watch lately, that’s what you mentioned.

He placed her forward towards the tv as he placed his mug on the side table. Simon held her close to him as she drank her bottle. Rubbing her belly as he watched the show with her. He hated this woman, just found her annoying, you mentioned to him that it was her job to do that fake high pitch thing. To him it just made him want to mute it and never see it again.

His daughter leaned closer to him as he sipped his tea. She sniffled and hiccuped due to crying the whole time. He smoothed her thick blonde hair back, making her eyes roll. Another thing she gets from him. People massaging his scalp or play with his hair he would pass out from.

After three videos both Simon and her were laying on the couch. He had her on his chest with a blanket on both of them. “Shh I know,” He said as she started to whimper again. “Daddy is here, don’t worry. He will stay. I would do anythin’ for you not to be in this pain.”

She sucked on her binki her eyes rolling fighting sleep. Yet another thing she got from him. Fighting sleep. Simon remembered when you told him you were pregnant with her. He was terrified. Scared that he wouldn’t be good to her, that he would turn into his own father.

Simon actually left for hours from the house making you think that it was a bad idea to tell him. Until he came back in tears, first time you seen him break down. Telling you his fears and worries. You would comfort him and hold him that he has never been an ounce of his father. Never be like him.

Simon remembered when he asked for his dad to hold him. His dad told him to stop being a child, to grow up. Or even watch him cry in pain and laugh at the fact he was crying. He even remember Tommy being hit for even mentioning that his throat hurt. Telling him that is something to be crying about when he was hurt.

Because of those memories he was going on for months in his mind that he didn’t believed that, didn’t believe that he would be a good father, it wasn’t until she was born. When he held her in his big hands. He knew that this was the opportunity to not be his low life father. And yet here he was being not that, his father would have never been comforting him when he was sick. Holding him. Loving him. He was grateful to be able to be here for her. For you. To show the love and care that he wanted to.

Simon sighed as he felt her breathing slow down, falling into deep sleep. He settled more down into the couch as he closed his eyes, holding on to his princess.

You woke up with the sun beaming into the room. You groaned as you placed a hand to where Simon would have been. It was cold. You opened your eyes and frowned. Was a dream that he was home? You sighed getting up and heading to your daughter’s room. For it to be empty too.

You walked around the house figuring out where the hell was your daughter. Which when you heard Miss Rachel on the tv and two figures on the couch. It made your heart swell. You walked to around to face both your daughter clinging onto her father. Simon softly snoring and his daughter as well. You forget how similar they look.

The soft features of when they slept. Their hair. Their nose. You also noticed that she was just in her diaper and didn’t look sweaty. You inhaled deeply feeling a bit of relief. Hopefully that means that her temperature went down and back to normal.

You smiled thinking about the time where you were almost about to pop. Simon holding your tummy telling your daughter that he will protect her with every ounce of his being. Not matter where or what she is doing, he will be there. You would play with his hair as he rubbed your tummy, feeling her move every time he would place a hand on your tummy.

You grabbed both bottle and mug, walking back to the kitchen. “Definitely going to be a daddy’s girl.” You whispered, starting to make breakfast for your perfect family.

[afewfantasies]

🗡️ Feyd's Blade 🗡️ - II - A thousand cuts

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 5.1K

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Feyd-Rautha X Reader

ᴘʟᴏᴛ: Feyd-Rautha is used to getting exactly what he wants when he wants it. Considering the feelings of another is foreign to him, but he wants to know you. He desires you in every way, so much so he cannot fathom things not going his way. Instead of lashing out Feyd chooses distance. Only his choice of bride is unpopular and his distance leaves you vulnerable.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: voyeurism, manipulation, attempted sexual assault (not between Feyd & Reader), rage, property destruction, several sexual fantasies, possessiveness.

PART I

🗡️ Feyd's Blade 🗡️ - II - A thousand cuts

“Feyd-Rautha”

“Feyd-Rautha”

“Feyd-Rautha”

“Feyd-Rautha”

“Feyd-Rautha”

You awake in a cold sweat and remove your blankets, the room is dark, the air is muggy. Your ears ring with all the voices you’ve ever heard recount the man's name. Closing your eyes as it begins again, focusing hard, concentrating you find your fathers voice. Taking deep breaths you hold onto the sound of it. His cadence stands out, the way he spoke and the promise he held in his voice for the name. Vaguely you remember being five or so and making Feyd a bracelet for his birthday. Leather and metal weaved together in an intricate braid. The heat draws you from the memories and away from the life you once had.  Unbuttoning your sleep top you opt for a delicate babydoll. Swallowing hard you look up trying to find the source of the heat or a panel to control the temperature settings. You pad around the room the lights illuminating right ahead of you as if controlled by sensors. Unable to find the control panel you find yourself at a large window. Looking out at Giedi Prime at night you find a strange beauty in the depths of the darkness. Placing your hand on the glass you find it cool and lean against it. Perhaps so many years in Arrakis had affected their ability to sense heat. 

Feyd watches you from his personal quarters. He’d tried falling asleep for hours after coming hard from visions of you washing yourself. His eyes couldn’t get enough of you. He was making mental notes for all the ways he would have you. He imagined being beside you, cleaning your soft skin and touching all the parts of you no other man would. He needed to see you again, all of you, while he enjoyed watching you sleep peacefully he needed to lay eyes on what was his once more. Managing the console he decided to turn up the heat. He’d watched you stir for a few minutes tossing and turning, tossing off your coverings until there were no more, he watched you change into a small silk bed set, one he’d picked out in his travels. He couldn’t place it, the thing about you that drew him in, that quieted all other distractions. It had been so when he was a boy as well. There’d been a million other things for him to do while on his visit, it wasn’t custom that boys remembered their betrothed. He certainly wasn’t expected to spend as much time with you as he did but he had been fascinated by you at a young age. He’d only been privy to the harshness and cruelty of the Harkonnen way. His brother was a brute and his uncle made men shudder. Strength was celebrated among his kind and there you were. Perhaps it was the amount of care he saw being poured into you. How your room had been colour coordinated with colours that reflected happiness, or that anyone could be so attentive to create such an atmosphere. Perhaps it was the scented air that was pumped in to wake you up and the alternative fragrance provided to settle you in bed. Young Feyd watched everyone dote on you endlessly, it was something he couldn’t identify with and therefore felt jealous of. But then he’d looked into your crib after witnessing person after person fuss at you.

The resentment only lasted a moment, you looked up at him with a toothless smile and he was yours from that moment. Your little hand around his finger and he was committed. There was no love, just a connection and dedication. It was pure and innocent. Feyd had only wanted to be another member of your host of caregivers. He imagined himself happy in your home world, happy among your people and eventually happy with you. Now, there was no one alive with enough power and resources to give you the life you deserved. He could care for things,  his knife collection was extensive, there were over a thousand rare blades all still sharp to the touch. He knew every one of them intimately, he knew what they were capable and best used for. Which cut objects best, which cut through skin, which were mostly decorative and which caused the most pain. Which worked best with poisons and there were even a few rare relics that could also throw flames. Each was a work of art. Each protected dearly from corruption, damage and the outside world. Preserving them and enjoying them as they were designed to be used was Feyd’s and only Feyd’s responsibility. He intended to do the same thing with you. His most prized possession. Equalising the temperature he heads out of his room determined to spend the day getting to know you. Heading out to find a snack for his viewing pleasure he seizes at the sight of you barefoot, unguarded and lost with a large black robe draped over you.

 Turning he walks over to face you, your eyes grow in size as you look him over. Feyd-Rautha would never fail to be striking, the hairlessness of him and those deep dark eyes, the strong chest and rippled abs. His expression asks the question before his lips can.

“Is everything well?” He asks. Looking up at him you swallow, averting your eyes from his muscular build.

“Parched, I was looking for water” you explain and Feyd nods in understanding. He stands holding out his large lethal hand. You look over the gesture unsure. Feyd-Rautha is a killer but he is also the man your father chose to have your hand. Looking at his hand again you relent, placing yours within him. Feyd gives you the surprise of a smile as he brings your hand to his lips placing a chaste kiss on it. It was against everything you had ever learned about the Harkonnen way. The Harkonnen were brutal men with insatiable appetites for whatever it was they loved; money, resources, respect, sex. They would get drunk on it, get their fill and let it destroy them. Per every contemporary record Feyd-Rautha’s appetites were for blood and respect. Kindness and gestures of flattery were beneath him, even with his uncle the Baron and arguably the second most powerful under the emperor.

“I’ve yet to figure out what you hope to gain from this arrangement” you comment against your better judgement. The Reverend mother had always commented on your lack of impulse control. It was a shock to everyone that you managed to withstand the pain of the box and avoid the Gom Jabbar.

“Willing submission, to be the first person you think of when you wake and the last at night before sleep takes you. Your body, your laughter, your smiles, all of your tomorrows, your arousal, desire, trust and your unconditional love”  Feyd-Rautha’s words couldn’t come as more of a surprise. Your heart flutters but you don't know if you can trust it. You try to remove your hand from his, uncomfortable with his desires but his grip tightens forbidding it. Feyd has enough decency to allow you the reprieve of looking away as you enter another room in the labyrinth that is the palace. He pulls out a chair at a small irregularly shaped table and seats you before heading into a dimly lit room. You watch him curiously and he returns with a carafe of water and a fresh glass.

“Thank you” you mutter while taking a drink to quench your thirst. Feyd’s eyes never leave yours. You look away from him examining the room, it's very similar to the rest, simple, void of colour but somehow stately impressive.

“Nothing else to say?” He asks.

“Where is the Mentat that’s been stationed outside of my quarters”

“You wound me,” Feyd smiles.

“On assignment to retrieve something I think you’ll enjoy,” Feyd says.

“What may that be?” You ask curiously.

“Your mother used to send me your family archives, videos of milestones. It was brought to my attention that perhaps a piece of your home world could lessen the transition.” His words are such a surprise, you don’t remember anything of the sort. Nodding you try your best to make sense of his kindness. The intensity of his eyes never falters, the weight of them is immense as he tracks your every movement.

“What is it? Why are you staring?” You ask feeling self-conscious.

“You’re beautiful” he says. His words are shocking. The Harkonnens weren’t paragons of beauty, they were destroyers of it - historically. And somehow in its own strange and sterile way perhaps there was a beauty to this planet.

“Why don’t you get dressed, let me arrange an early breakfast and I can show you around while it’s being prepared” Feyd offers standing. You hadn’t realised your glass and the small carafe were now empty, he must’ve been tracking it.

“Ok” you nod. Standing he leaves the table as is holding out a hand again. You take it surprised by its consistent warmth. His stride is wide and it’s hard for you to keep up, when he realises he slows running his thumb along your hand so you can keep pace. Feyd's actions confuse you to no end. His requirements of you replaying in his head, unconditional love - a tremendous ask of a stranger. You stiffen when you see he can open the doors of your chambers only for it to amuse him, he smirks stepping into the rooms like they’re just as much his. It’s unnerving, he’s a dangerous man, a powerful man with an effervescent virility.  Heading into your quarters you find suitable garments and apply them in a few minutes before emerging to Feyd now wearing a shirt. He smiles, removing your headpiece.

“You don’t have to hide your beauty, not around me”

“Around who then?” You ask as he takes your hand kissing it again.

“No one, people know better” he remarks..

“I know better than most that safety can’t be guaranteed” you confess.

“It can,” he affirms.

“You’re a passionate man, with a penchant for danger anything could happen. If you refuse the Princess’ hand the sisterhood will turn on you. People make side comments about Bene Gesserit witches but they are influential” you advise as he walks you into a cylinder.

“The Princess?” he smirks.

“Yes” you respond.

“I’m not interested” he confesses just as you shoot up. You’re terrified and he reaches out holding you close as it continues. The accelerated speeds are riveting but Feyd-Rautha’s militant stance remains solid as he holds you. When it ends he gives you a moment before stepping out. You can see it all from up here. The white sun is rising. Heading to the edge of the lookout you have a seat looking at the darkness of the planet and all the little lights. Feyd takes a seat beside you. He’d never found himself more enamoured with a single human or object. There was something visceral about how connected he felt to you. There was never any confusion in himself as to how you may feel, there’s a sense of knowing within him. He watches you look down into the most populated parts of Giedi. Where he could connect to your feelings he often found your thoughts to be a mystery to him. He wondered how anyone could take such comfort in stillness. Only time he enjoyed being still as before he was about to strike, nothing about you suggested anything of the sort. Violence seemed all together out of your nature.

He would have to learn to be gentle, to take pleasure in the softness of your skin, the slow throes of pleasure, your facial expressions when he dug deeper inside. The taste of your arousal on his fingers after you came for him and only him. He would need to break you in slowly, he would have you forever after all. Patience and diligence would be required for the task of getting you to open up for him, for you to understand his intentions for you were as pure as the steel in his sacred blades. He would do anything for you.

 He would do it all.

“Were you promised to someone else?” He asks as soon as the thought crosses his mind. The thought that filled him with unbridled rage. He would have whomever that man was and place him in the arena. He would prove himself to her.

“No”

“No?” Feyd pry’s.

“There were a few attempts to have me matched. The men were decent enough but I never saw myself married” you confess.

“Who were the men?” Feyd-Rautha asks.

“The look in your eyes says it’s against my better judgement to disclose the names of innocent men” you smile looking back out to the white sun as he looks at you.

“Have you kept lovers?” Feyd asks, his temper bubbling.

“No, no lovers” You smile looking at him. “What of your pleasure slaves and pets?” You ask. His eyes grow and then he swallows, he’s railed with insecurity.

“What of them?” He asks and you shrug.

“Is there a selection process?” You ask and he stands shaking his head.

“Satisfaction, if they’re unable to do that then they’re useless to me” Feyd speaks plainly.

“Will that also be my fate?” You whisper and his eyes close in regret.

“No, I can only think of three rules I have for you to follow,” Feyd says.

“Am I permitted rules too?” You ask and he smiles chuckling a little.

“Perhaps I could be persuaded into following a few” he responds, his honesty is refreshing. “No other men, no other man gets to even touch you. Nothing beyond a handshake, if his eyes linger too long I’ll cut them out, if his hands touch pieces of you they shouldn’t he will lose them at the end of my blade. You try everything once and you never lie to me.” He says.

“What if I were to fall and a man helped me up? Would you take his life for holding me at the waist?” You ask. Feyd blinks like he doesn’t see the issue. 

“Touching the na-Baroness will be his last great deed before death” he says with no qualms. It amuses and unsettles you in equal parts. You let out an awkward laugh.

“That is absurd” you remark.

“Not here, here the men would look at you and their thoughts alone would justify my actions” he says speaking from advise he cannot be in her presence for long without fantasising about how she felt inside.

“So these rules are typical of marriages here?” You ask, curious.

“No” Feyd- Rautha says.

“I cannot promise to try everything once or never lie, there will be times I will refuse things and there will be instances I am not forthcoming. To agree to that would be disingenuous and I can see you’re not holding back” you find your bravery and your voice.

“Your rules?” He asks but you can’t think of any.

“I have no rules, I’ve never given marriage any serious thought.” you admit.

“Hmm” he says displeased.

“Would you have preferred I lied?” You ask, it takes Feyd a moment to decide. He shakes his head.

“If you had your choice would you marry me?” He asks, trying to trap you in your commitment to the truth, watching as the white sun strips all pigment from you.

“My father thought you were right for me, he didn’t know the man you’d become but he trusted in you. I don’t have many memories but I know my father loved me very much. That’s why I haven’t run.” You confess honestly.

It’s a blow to his ego, Feyd-Rautha was revered. He was the heir to the wealthiest house in the empire outside of the emperor himself. He was a fierce warrior, respected and feared. His people chanted his name in all of his fights and women doted after him. Still after all the trouble he’d gone through to find you it was your late father, a dead man's wishes that meant more to you than him. He needed you to understand that he was it for you, that he was all. 

“You could never out run me” he says with a venom laced tone. Looking away from the coliseum you meet his black eyes, the lower half of his face already devoid of colour from the sunlight. You look at him over recognizing the anger that’s creeped into him over your words. His jaw hardens and he turns heading back to the cylinder. Feyd steps out of your reach waiting before pressing the button to descend. The speed makes your hair rise above your head. He leads you back to your quarters without holding your hand. His blood lust is too high for physical interaction of any kind. His heart knew what you needed. You needed him of sound mind, capable of being gentle, capable of loving you, capable of withholding his urges and managing his anger. Capable of withholding punishments for unexplained infractions. His need for you is so strong it’s maddening. It’s taking everything in him not to toss you onto the bed, tie you up to keep you in place and claim you. He would empty himself inside of you, he would leave it in. He would be there day by day as your stomach grew. He would stand beside you with pride, leaving no question who you belonged to. He’d keep you smiling so everyone knew how content you were with him. He wanted you to look at his child with the same amount of adoration that your mother had for you. He wanted there to be nothing between you, he wanted to take you in the shower. He wanted to take you in the bed, in his chambers, in the great hall, everywhere. He needed to see the need in your eyes every time he looked at you. He needs you to miss him like he’s missed you all these years. Like he misses you from a room away. He needs your love and concern to match his in every way. He needs you to be just as besotted, just as unhinged.

Viewing the spread of food on the table you turn to him before sitting and he hisses a curse turning and storming out of the room without an explanation or another word. You stand there for minutes before realising he doesn’t intend to return.

———

Feyd-Rautha has been with his concubines all week. It’s very clear he’s a man of few words and not prone to managing arguments or disagreements. Nonetheless seamstresses have come by for the last few days capturing measurements of your body. They’ve been tasked with creating dresses for the wedding and his birthday celebration. His absence has been noted among his men and the whispers have been evident. There has been no reduced treatment among your immediate staff but some of the others have taken liberties the Mentat reminds them the na-Baron would disapprove of. It’s nothing comparable to the treachery of life in the academy among the Bene Gesserits. You sit in the grand library among the scrolls playing chess with Leia. The two of you have been practising your telepathic communication, but neither of you have been successfully able to manage the voice. You beat her in your final game of chess and look to see it's almost time for dinner. In spite of your abduction Giedi Prime proves to be far more free than you could have anticipated. Feyd-Rautha could have made you one of his pleasure slaves. Titled you wife but made you nothing more than the bearer of his children and a slave to his desire. Leia thought lowly of his abandonment of you following your last discussion but you have no frame of reference on how to feel. He hadn’t been rude. He hadn’t been mean - just distant. The hospitality of his halls hadn’t ever lessened, you were awarded every privilege. It could be far worse, you're aware of that and somehow that fact is settling. 

Sane isn’t Feyd. Even in his absence you sensed him all around you, there’d be some periods of the day where you felt sure he was somewhere close, his presence surrounding and assessing your every move. Like he knew what you were up to. Perhaps it was your guards acting as secondary eyes, perhaps it was the Mentat but you got the feeling your freedom was being monitored. Charting through unknown territory you walk with Leia through an unfamiliar section of the palace. Holding your heads back you look up and the journey to the ceiling seems never-ending. Sun puddles coat the floor in an interesting pattern. Giedi Prime has many architectural feats misaligned with its brutalist architecture.

“Look at the windows” Leia smiles, taking your hand and the two of you look down into a courtyard. Looking down you watch soldiers and guards training, their fighting styles are rugged and brutish. You find yourself looking for Feyd among them but he is absent. You touch Leia to show her the makeshift trees when you're grabbed forcefully. It happens so fast you blink and the two of you have been separated. A fistful of your hair is grabbed and you rein back nailing the culprit in the nose. He groans and you kick backwards hoping to shatter his knee. Alarm fills you as you see Leia in the arms of a large guard. She manages to get him off and the two of you take off down the hall. You hear chatter from ear pieces but on the long stretch of hallway there’s nowhere to hide. Panic fills you as you try to make sense of what’s happening.

“The bitch is dead, '' one snarls and more come down the hall forcing you and Leia to take a sharp turn down into an unfamiliar dark corridor. More and more men join the procession giving chase and your fear peaks. Your voice is shot as you run faster pulling ahead of Leia. Slowing, you urge her to move faster down the hall. You're grabbed in an instant and hit in the face. Your head spins and you see triple. Instinct kicks in as you hear Leia cry out. Picking one of the spinning figures you hold onto flesh digging into eyes that grab your waist. The man screams out.

“A week after na-Baron discards them they’re ours” you hear as another soldier tries climbing on top of you. Squeezing you push his eyes in as hard as you can and he wails. Scrambling up you taste blood managing to grab a gun you have no idea how to use. The cowards stop just as your guards emerge with your Mentat among them you turn to see Leia lose consciousness. You scream going to her, large handprints are along her neck, she stops breathing and a guard gets on his knees to save her life.

“What have you done?” The Mentat asks the soldiers. Hysterics overtake your senses, you lose track of time and you're given a mild sedative to calm you.

Trembling in your room you wait for news regarding Leia’s stability. You have not been able to eat. You’ve been pacing for an hour contemplating the meaning of those brutes words. Was that a hunt orchestrated by Feyd himself? A twisted fantasy? Had he knowingly you were going to be brutally attacked? The doors open and you see your Mentat.

“She is stable, she has been given the best care” he says finally allowing you to breathe a little easier.

“What about Feyd-Rautha?” You ask just as the doors open revealing him in full combat gear. His eyes bulge and his chest rises. He’s furious, you can feel the heat radiating from him a few feet away.  Removing his gloves he strides over to you, he’s angry but it can’t be mistaken for being directed at you. He looks away once he’s close.

“What happened!?” He shouts so loud it shakes the chambers. Turning he goes to the Mentat looking murderous. “What happened?” He snaps again pulling out one of his blades.

“They were attacked, they left the library without an escort. The men saw Leia touch the na-Baroness to be and tried to … enforce your rules and then …”

“Have their way with me” you finish the Mentat’s sentence. Feyd takes a step back, his head bowing as his hands tremble. His thumbs run over the tops of the blade as his frustration reaches its peak. Turning to you Feyd closes the space in two large strides. His eyes narrow and he looks at the slight cut on your lip. Lips he’d yet to kiss. Taking your hands he sees swollen knuckles, his hands hover over your waist on your left side before he touches and you wince from the soreness. He withdraws bowing to the hem of your robes, he pulls it up once the Mentat turns his back assessing the purple bruise. Swallowing hard, the veins all over him become prominent. His jaw clicks. He’s too furious to speak, he’s a livewire. Sighing he takes a step away from you and then to you again. Shouting in a fit of rage he throws decorative pieces across the room. It’s a stunning expression of anger and rage.

“Have her dressed” Feyd says and the healers are returned. He watches diligently as they gently apply flowing garments in respect of your injuries. He places a headpiece onto your head by himself walking you out using featherlight touches. A vehicle is waiting and you zip through the halls stopping outside a grand door. You hold Feyd’s hand tighter only to be unnerved at the fear in the brutal men’s eyes. There are nearly fifty of them and yet they tremble at the sight of  Feyd-Rautha, a singular being.

“Which of these scum hurt you?” Feyd whispers against your ear. Looking up you scan the faces. It takes you a few moments to locate the one with a red swollen nose and the other who’d been on top of you. You point to them and they’re brought down by one of Feyd’s men. “Which hurt your friend?” He asks and you point to the two culprits, they two are brought down. 

“Have them stripped and prepared for death by a thousand cuts” he snaps. “Have a cleaver brought in along with medics. We will have a few more eunuchs.” He says to men who nod. Feyd brings another featherlight touch to your waist guiding you out of the room. You sob, trembling, succumbing to the shock and he lifts you into his arms. The drive to your quarters is short and he carries you back into your quarters sitting on the couch with you cradled in his arms.

“I’m sorry” he whispers, holding you close. “This will never happen again, never. You and your friend fought well and you will never have to fight again” he says softly. The sound of your sobs is heartbreaking. Feyd-Ratha sits torn between his love for you and his eminent need for revenge.

“They said they could because you hadn’t come by in a week. They charged because Leia touched me” you manage through teary sobs remembering the night the mobs came, the screams of women being brutalised and the panic all around to get you in an escape pod. Your breathing quickens and your doors open. The head healer pauses bowing at the sight of the na-Baron.

“She’s stable, she’s awake and concerned for the well-being of the na-Baroness” the healer says and you stand. You will yourself to stop crying as Feyd removes your veil. His eyes search yours with apology. He raises a hand wiping away your tears and smoothing your hair. The bruise on your cheek is a haunting reminder of his failure. He takes your hand heading to the medical rooms. He ushers you in without a word standing back and you look at Leia, laid on the bed. Who would be so bold? You ask yourself as you get to her. It happens in a flash, your eyes roll and you get a flash of Rabban ‘The Beast Harkonnen’. He’s speaking to the man that tried getting on top of you, he’s giving the man instructions. You sense tremendous jealousy, you read his lips ‘I will be the heir’ he declares and then you come to. Leia’s awake, smiling up at you.

“It wasn’t Feyd, he cares for you” she says with telepathy. You respond with a knowing nod. “He told them that they’d die a most painful death if I didn’t survive” she adds.

“It was Rabbane” you respond without words, turning you look back into to see Feyd with a guard checking the sharpness of his blades laid across leather. His eyes find yours and you look to him, he nods with a knowingness, without humour but pure dedication. 

“One moment” you say  to Leia standing to go to him. You feel drawn to him, connected to him in your anger for what's transpired. It's like you're transfixed as you make your way to him. He looks you over with concern.

“You may leave me here, I do believe I am safe now” you whisper.

“Not until you’re safe in your chambers” Feyd responds unnerved by your state.

“Go now and don’t hold back” you say before pecking his full lips. He’s startled by the gesture but he’d saved you. He’d protected you through a mutiny designed to break you, there was no denying this was likely a plot by the sisterhood, a deal made with Rabban to usurp Feyd-Rautha’s Barony. The betrayal was too cunning and heartless to ignore or let slide. You had not sought Feyd out, they had to know that and still they would subject you to abuse and defiling at the hands of garish brutes. Feyd’s thumb brushes over your burst lip, his fingers pulling your chin in for another chaste kiss. Nodding he steps back for the first time regretful for the reason behind the need to use his blade.

Still even a thousand cuts wouldn’t be enough punishment.

He casts you a final look and you sleep peacefully knowing there’s a chorus from the torture Feyd is administering to the men who’d happily walked towards the opportunity to cause you pain and disgrace. A thousand cuts could be administered many ways, at sunrise you would begin sharpening your blades.

PART III - Charms

_________

TAGS: @elf-punk @dvmb4ssbiatch @thegabbyh @fanfiction-addict22 @meetmeatyourworst @jojoclown69 @lillypink @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @avidreader73 @emeraldsgirl33 @strawberryfieldsforevermore @rose-are-royal

Authors Note: 

Thanks for reading, this is a super long one - twice the usual length. I really hope you enjoy it. Comment, reblog and like to support 🩶 Let me know what your favourite part of this story is thus far.

[heartpiratedrabbles]

Unexpected Surprise

Prompt: Crocodile comes back from an extended leave to find you holding a baby

Crocodile X Fem Reader

You groan hearing the crying of the 2-month-old, sluggishly getting up from your bed to pick up the baby, reaching for a bottle to warm like instinct. It had been a while since you’d gotten a good night’s rest, and while you could ask some of the workers to do it, you couldn’t find it in your heart to let anyone else look after the child at night. During the day it was easy letting someone take him into another room but at night you got too anxious if he wasn’t within eye shot.

         As he drinks the bottle you go to sick in the rocking chair you had brought in a while ago, someone had told you the rocking would calm the baby but really it helped you calm your own nerves most of the time. Soon enough the baby is slowly shutting his eyes, you cooing and singing while delicately placing him back into the crib before starting to head back to your bed.

         The most silent knock in the world alerts you to another person, and you sigh opening the door, squeezing your self out of the room as to not wake the baby. “What is it?” You ask looking to see Mr. One towering over you with an emotionless look.

         “Mr. Zero will be back tomorrow. We just got word of it a couple minutes ago.” You smiled a bit; it had been about 8 months since he’s been back. It’s been a busy year with him enacting some of his plans. All you knew is that he told you to wait at the casino and not ask questions. And that’s what you did.

Mr. One glances at the door behind you before looking at you again and you can’t help but grin. “Don’t worry bout it. You won’t have to explain anything I promise.” No body had informed your lover of the infant now taking residence in your home, no one felt it was their right. You wave the man off before slinking back into your room to head off to sleep. You could deal with any repercussions in the morning.

~~~

         You got dressed and went to your office, fulfilling your job while the basinet lay empty in the corner, a worker taking the child off your hands for a couple hours. You gotten word that Crocodile had arrived earlier that morning, but he hadn’t come to check on you yet. It didn’t surprise you, he had plenty of paperwork to sift through and get done after being gone for so long.

         Still, after lunch and checking in on the child, you decided to also check in on him. Knocking on the door before entering without a word, a hook immediately going into the wall next to you, your hair becoming slightly messy at the sudden movements. Brushing a strand behind your ear you take further steps in, “It’s nice to see you too darling.”

         “Y/N, I’m too busy for this.” He grunts, his hook returning to his wrist while he sits back in his chair. You hum silently while pouring him a glass of bourbon, setting the glass on his desk, leaning down enough for your cleavage to be on full display for him.

         “I’m just making sure you remember I’m alive, I won’t stay for long.” He glances up at you before reaching up and pulling you further down, a deep warm kiss placed on your lips.

         A squeeze to the back of your neck before he releases you, “I’ll be done in a couple hours.” His last words before you leave his office.

~~~

         You hold the baby in your arms, their subtle noises making you smile as you wiggle your finger in their grasp. “Whose an absolute cutey? You are, yes you are,” The soft words leaving you without noticing the door behind you opening. You gently rock the child singing praises, slowly spinning to face the door.

         Crocodile meanwhile had his mind racing at the display in front of him. You hadn’t noticed his presence as he watched you cradle the baby in your arms. Your gentle, motherlike voice, sounding nothing like what he was use to. He hadn’t remembered you being pregnant when he left, he would have had plenty of words about bringing a child into his world.

         And you certainly weren’t stupid enough to find another man, if anything it made less sense for you to have gotten pregnant after he left. He supposed that he had been gone for 8 months, so maybe you hadn’t realized before he left. Another issue being why didn’t you reach out to him? Sure, he hadn’t let you have his contact himself, but he had plenty of employees who could relay important information such as this. Had you hidden it because you were afraid, he wouldn’t accept it.

         Crocodile never had plans at being a father, and her certainly did not feel prepared to be one now. But seeing you gently rock the infant in your arms, singing small praises did unlock a part of his heart he hadn’t thought he had. Slowly he took a deep breathe, and just as you fully spun to face him, he finally spoke, “And who is this little guy?”

         You stop at hearing Crocodiles voice, looking up at the man inf front of you. The tired look on his face with anxious eyes you’d never seen before as he tried to keep his voice neutral. This, was entertaining. You wondered how long he had been standing there as you give him a toothy smile, “This is Kenji, isn’t he adorable?” You walk up to your lover, lifting your arms to show him the baby whose eyes were locked onto the new person.

         Crocodile’s face became unreadable as he lifted a finger to the baby’s outreached hands, one taking a firm grasp and a tug. “He looks just like his father don’t you think?” Crocodile remained silent, studying the child more at your words and it took a lot in you to not chuckle.

         After a long silence Crocodile finally let out a defeated sigh, “When did this happen?” You suppose he’s referring to when Kenji was born and let him know that it had been just over two months ago. His eyes got wider before shooting you a gentle glare, “Why didn’t you inform me?”

         His voice was firm but soft, much softer than you had thought given the situation you had put him in. “I didn’t know when you’d be back, I’d assume he’d be gone before you could meet him.” Crocodiles face twists into that of discomfort before turning into anger.

         “What were you going to do to him?” He gripped your arm tightly, but still rather careful as to not alert the baby in your arms. His eyes turning darker the more he studied your peaceful face.

         “Well, my sister should be back in a day or two. She had to go grab something from our home town and didn’t want to bring Kenji with her.” You watch as his face processes the information you just told him. “And you know my sisters’ husband is on a trip until next month, you were the one that sent him on his mission after all.”

         You could tell your smile was turning into the biggest shit-eating grin it could as your lover blinks in recognition a couple times. He lets out the heaviest sigh as he walks past you, siting down in the rocking chair you had placed in the corner while loosening his tie. “He’s your sister’s child then,” His voice turned much more relaxed realizing you hadn’t been the one to give birth to the baby in your arms.

         “Of course, Darling.” You say while placing the baby in the crib before walking to your lover and placing both your hands on his shoulders, “I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”

         The scoff that leaves his mouth as he pulls you closer, “Don’t give me that, I thought I had missed something huge here.” His hooked arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you to straddle his lap. His other hand going to your chin to meet your lips to his.

         “I thought you didn’t want children,” You chuckled slightly. You knew it wasn’t in his life plans to have a child around, and while it saddened you slightly, you had accepted that part of him fully. Watching your new nephew every now and then would be good enough if it meant staying with the man you love.

         “Yea well, maybe I can be convinced otherwise.” His low tone as he shifted his eyes from the crib to you, “Seems like you’d make a wonderful mother, Y/N.” Your heart melts at his words as you gently kiss him. Just as you are about to say something, Kenji starts to cry again, and you immediately get up to look after him. Crocodile watching with a smile splayed across his face.

[neptuneiris]

Behind the Scenes | (epilogue)

Behind the Evolution

pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader

summary: things seem to be going well, but there is still a missing part in Aemond's new life and that is you.

word count: 12.4k (I know it's really long but it's totally worth it, I swear😭)

previous part • series masterlist

and me again, apologizing for the long delay. my life has been so crazy lately, i have no time and i miss writing, but it's finally here and i hope you like it a lot🤗

it took me a long time to give you a good chapter, so please comment and let me know your opinions, it really doesn't cost anything.

to break your head writing and not get any comments is sad, any writer will understand me, so please and i would appreciate it a lot😭🙏🏻

now yes, read and enjoy!

warnings: aemond and aenar melting our hearts, fluff, sexual content, smut.

Life has become better for both, you and Aenar, and you are very grateful for that. Now, your days go by with a calmness that you have never experienced before.

You are happy and above all Aenar is happy, who radiates joy and happiness at all times, with his laughter always filling the air, a melody that reminds you how lucky you are to have him in your life.

There is honestly nothing better for him, feeling very grateful to his dad and also to the Targaryen—Hightower family.

Aemond has been a pillar of support and love since this new chapter of your life began.

His dedication and commitment to Aenar has been unwavering. Also his family has been a network of support and love that have welcomed Aenar and you with open arms.

And this is exactly what you think about every morning you wake up, realizing how much your life and Aenar's life has changed, for the better.

You yawn, carve your eyes and linger for a moment staring at the curtains in your room, where the sunlight reflects and paints a soft glow on the walls.

Then when you feel fully awake, you head to Aenar's room to check on him, watching him sleep in his crib, where you mostly remember the sleepless nights you had to go through since he was born.

But now the peace in the room is palpable and you lovingly watch your son sleep soundly.

He is now exactly one and a half years old, and you and Aemond continue to devote all your effort and love to ensure his well-being.

Together, you change diapers, take care of him, prepare his meals, buy his necessities and take him for walks in the park, enjoying every moment shared with him.

From the beginning, you and Aemond committed to help each other in Aenar's upbringing and that's exactly what you do. And considering that Aenar is now of age, there comes the exciting moment when he babbles his first words more clearly.

It was one day after Aemond comes home from work and the three of you are in the living room watching the movie that Aenar loves lately and always wants to watch, Cars.

When suddenly, he makes a sound, like some kind of playful babbling that catches yours and Aemond's attention almost instantly.

"Ma-ba-ba," he says as he moves his arms up and down, as if he's reaching for something more than just the words, "Ma!" he exclaims, with a huge smile.

He's sitting in the middle of both of you and you smile nervously at once, as you feel your heart start to beat too hard from excitement.

"What is it, baby?"

You say in a honeyed tone, taking him in your arms tenderly and sitting him on your lap, making sure he can see you and Aemond.

"Mo-ma!" he exclaims with a beautiful smile, his eyes sparkling with curiosity and a spark of amusement.

"You mean 'mommy'?" Aemond also tells him in a honeyed tone, stroking his silver hair lovingly. "Yeah, my little one?"

"Mo-ma," Aenar repeats, raising his arms again, watching his daddy with the same happiness and adoration.

"Mo-mmy," Aemond pronounces slowly, precisely, pointing at you tenderly, "Mommy," he emphasizes, smiling adoringly. "She is your mo-mmy," he continues, pointing at you once more, "Can you say 'mommy'?"

Your smile doesn't fade as you watch your little one try to pronounce that special word with Aemond's help.

You even join in and repeat the same word back to him in the same way, as Aemond gives him more patience and continues to encourage him to say the whole word.

"Mo-mmy," Aemond repeats him.

Aenar frowns with concentration, as if trying to decipher the secret of the words.

"M-moo."

"Mo-mmy," Aemond repeats again with excitement and anticipation, almost getting there.

Aenar moves his lips, as you exchange a nervous smile and glance with Aemond, your hearts beating in unison as you hold Aenar's small hands between yours.

Your gazes meet, too, communicating a mixture of shared excitement and anticipation.

And then, it happens.

With a concentrated effort, Aenar points to you and with his eyes shining with excitement, he emits a sound that seems to contain all the love and joy in the world.

"M-ommy," he babbles, his tender, trembling voice filling the room.

And in that moment, your heart fills with overwhelming happiness and your eyes fill with tears of joy and melancholy as you look down at your child, your lips quivering with pent-up emotion.

"Yes, my baby!" exclaims Aemond happily with a huge smile, leaving a resounding kiss on his cheek to then look at you with excitement and longing.

Aenar laughs and is thrilled by the way you both smile and celebrate his first word, while you pull him closer towards you and start leaving repeated kisses on his cheek, hugging him with love and also congratulating him for his good work.

Aemond can't contain his emotion and joins in the embrace, wrapping his family in a warm and loving hug.

Tears also glisten in his eye as he gazes at his son with indescribable pride, knowing that this moment will be etched in their hearts forever.

And the three of you celebrate this precious moment, immersing themselves in the joy and excitement of this magical moment.

And you stay there, in the living room, surrounded by the scattered toys and Aenar's playful laughter, while you ask him to tell you mommy one more time and Aemond, as excited as you are, records it and sends it to his mother and siblings, announcing the great news.

But Aenar's adventure doesn't stop there.

Soon, both of you, and especially Aemond, encourage him to venture out on his first steps.

With each shaky and brave attempt, they celebrate his accomplishments, being part of each small step towards his growth and development.

Their laughter fills the house as he takes unsteady steps, clinging to furniture and seeking balance, while Aemond and you stand around him, arms outstretched, ready to catch him should he stumble.

Not only at home Aenar tries to take his first steps, also at the Targaryen—Hightower mansion, where Helaena and Daeron together with Alicent also encourage him and take care of him while he walks and holds on to the furniture.

Until the moment finally arrives in the garden of your house.

The warm afternoon sun caresses the garden, painting every corner of the green lawn with warm and golden tones, creating a cozy and lively atmosphere.

For a while now Aemond has been walking with Aenar all over the lawn. Although he has no object to hold on to, Aemond guides him gently and patiently, holding him and encouraging him to take each step bravely.

You watch them from the kitchen windows, having finished washing a few dirty dishes, smiling as Aemond makes playful airplane sounds and Aenar laughs.

As he moves forward, his confidence grows, his steps become steadier and steadier, guided by his father's unconditional love and support.

Until eventually you decide to join in.

You sit on the grass, at a considerable distance from them, neither too long nor too short, with an encouraging and proud smile on your face.

Aenar, more excited than before to see you join them, his little hands clasp tightly in his father's, his eyes shining with a mixture of happiness and determination.

"Mommy!" he exclaims happily, pointing at you and you laugh.

"Do you want to go with mommy?" asks Aemond in a honeyed tone.

"Mo-mommy," he babbles, wiggling excitedly in his father's arms, still standing.

Aemond laughs and holds him firmly by both hands.

"All right. Are you ready, champ?" he asks him, his voice full of enthusiasm and encouragement.

"Come on, honey!" you encourage him, stretching your arms out to him, "Walk to mommy, come on."

Aemond encourages him and still holding him, with an uncertain but determined step, Aenar lifts one foot, followed by another, his tiny feet pressing against the soft grass.

"That's it, baby!" exclaims Aemond with joy, his smile lighting up his face.

With each step, your heart pounds in your chest, pride filling you as you watch your little one intently and lovingly.

"Well done, keep it up baby!" you encourage him, reaching out your hands to him, "Come on, come to mommy."

With a glint of determination in his eyes, smiling Aenar keeps moving forward, his steps still hesitant but full of courage. His little hands cling tightly to those of Aemond, who guides him patiently and lovingly across the soft lawn of the garden.

As Aenar gains confidence, his steps become surer and more determined. And little by little, Aemond begins to let go of his little hands, allowing his son to take his first independent steps.

And with palpable care, Aemond walks behind him, stretching his arms around his little body to catch him in case he needs extra support.

And then it happens.

Aenar strides forward supporting himself, his giggles filling the air as he approaches you with determination, almost running. Your heart swells with pride and excitement at the sight of him as does Aemond.

"Yeah, yeah, keep it up, you got it!" you exclaim happily, unable to contain your happiness as you stretch your arms out towards him.

"Come on, come on," Aemond encourages him too, smiling, watching just as excited as you are about the moment.

And finally, with one last effort, Aenar takes one more step as he reaches toward you and falls into your open arms.

Laughter and congratulations fill the air as you pick him up and embrace him tenderly and excitedly, at the same time as he too laughs and doesn't quite understand his parents' huge smiles.

"You did it, my love!" you exclaim, full of amazement and unable to contain your joy.

You watch Aemond surprised and happy, where his gaze also shines with pride and amazement, as he reaches over and deposits a soft kiss on his son's hair.

Happiness and love fill the space between you, creating a moment you will treasure forever.

And after that memorable moment in the garden, Aemond's family witnesses Aenar's first steps as well. Helaena and Alicent decide to organize a picnic in the garden of the mansion and invite the whole family.

They are all spread out in the garden, the weak rays of the sun caressing their faces as they enjoy the lively afternoon, sharing laughter and conversation, with the sun about to set.

Aenar, full of joy and excitement ventures out once again to walk with the help of Aemond, his brothers and Alicent. While you find yourself sitting with Rhaenyra, her husband Daemon and Aegon at one of the tables.

You recently had the pleasure of meeting the rest of Aemond's family and Aenar as well.

Daemon's daughters, Baela and Rhaena are also here, as are Rhaenyra's eldest and youngest sons who also couldn't help but melt for Aenar.

There are other family members present as well, such as Rhaenys Targaryen and her husband, Corlys Velaryon.

You engage in conversation with Daemon and Aegon, but mainly with Rhaenyra and Rhaenys, while you watch from a distance as Aenar takes small, hesitant steps, but with his determination and joy evident in every movement.

Helaena, Daeron, Jace, Luke and Alicent watch him with pride and adoration, clapping and cheering him on with every step he takes, holding out their hands to guide him.

Alicent, with a tender smile, watches his grandson with love and admiration, while Otto Hightower nods approvingly, acknowledging the family Aemond has, even though he and you are not together.

Afterwards, the meal is served and everyone takes a seat at a large table, with Aemond at your side and Aenar on his lap, as everyone begins to talk about different topics of conversation.

Eventually also Helaena decides to take Aenar in her arms once both of you have already eaten to take him to play with little Aegon and little Viserys on the lawn, with Jace also helping her to supervise her younger siblings.

And even though both you and Aemond know that Aenar is in very good hands, like the protective parents you are, you can't help but watch him from time to time.

But it's more about watching him interact with Rhaenyra's younger children, the three of them laughing, playing and imitating car sounds, the three of them sharing their toys.

Then Rhaenyra introduces you more cordially to Rhaenys, wanting you to get to know each member of the family in depth, where almost immediately the three of them strike up conversation.

While Aemond and Daemon, like the protective fathers they are, watch with little smiles as Daeron, Luke and Joffrey entertain the younger children with their games and antics.

When again Aegon stands beside his brother and watches as the two of them watch the scene before them.

The sounds of laughter and commotion fill the air, as Daeron and his nephews immerse themselves in the infectious joy of the children and make them laugh, creating moments that will be fondly remembered for years to come.

Amidst the hubbub and fun, however, Aegon notices something else.

He watches as Aemond, his eyes shining with happiness, can't help but look away from you from time to time.

He sees you laughing and chatting with Rhaenyra and Rhaenys, and there is something in the way he looks at you that he has seen before that reveals his deep longing and affection.

"You haven't spoken to her?"

He decides to ask him, trying to broach the subject cautiously, causing Aemond to look at him instantly, confused and curious.

"With whom?"

"Y/N," he says quietly, pointing at you with his gaze, "You know... you haven't talked to her and tried to get her back?"

Aemond averts his gaze, his blue eyes reflecting a mixture of longing and reserve.

"No, I haven't," he says with some resignation.

Aegon looks at him with compression but also with some disappointment, for he understands his position but still, if he were him, he would at least try to talk to you.

And he waits for you to tell him more, but he doesn't.

"And why not?"

Aemond lets out a sigh.

"Because I don't want to ruin things between the two of us," he says sincerely, "Talking to her about it might make her uncomfortable. She might even feel in a bad position and I don't want that."

Now it is Aegon who lets out the sigh.

"Bro," he places a hand on her shoulder, "If you don't try you'll never know what will happen. Maybe things will turn out differently and you might be surprised. But you'll never know if you stand by and do nothing."

Aemond thinks over his brother's words, feeling the weight of his advice. His gaze is lost on Aenar, laughing and playing with the other children who continue to fill the air with their laughter and joy.

But the truth is, Aemond has thought about doing it, talking to you.

But he honestly feels torn between his desire to do it to see what might come of it and to preserve the harmony between you and him.

A mixture of emotions engulfs him, the longing to try to reconnect with you, mixed with guilt and remorse for past decisions that caused you so much pain.

On the one hand, he sees how everything has improved between you, how Aenar's presence has woven a stronger bond and how together you have found a new form of happiness.

But on the other hand, uncertainty washes over him, reminding him of the wounds of the past and the possibility of reopening those scars.

He wonders if you, like him, have put the pain and disappointment behind you, if you would be willing to give him a second chance.

Do you still love him, or has that been replaced by indifference or even resentment?

Aemond sighs, feeling the weight of indecision on his shoulders.

"I know," he replies, his tone heavy with contemplation, "But I don't want her to feel pressured, or worse, to think I'm trying to force something that's no longer there."

"Aemond, I understand your point and what you're considering," he tells him with his expression reflecting a mix of empathy and determination, "You don't want to lose her trust, you want to make things right and that's fine," he assures her, "But if she meets someone new....

He starts to say and Aemond's whole body immediately tenses up, instantly observing him with a serious look and his open eye completely attentive, not liking to hear that.

But that is exactly the reaction Aegon expected and he continues speaking to prove his point. Though he senses the tension in his brother and proceeds cautiously.

"If she meets someone new, wouldn't you rather have tried to fix things before that happens?"

Aemond ponders his brother's question, feeling the weight of his words. For a moment, his mind fills with images of you with someone else, and the thought fills him with an awkwardness he can't deny.

"I'm just saying that if you don't try and that happens, you're going to regret it later," he explains to him, "And worst case scenario, if you decide to talk to her, at least you'll know you tried."

Aemond mulls over these new words, letting the prospect of an uncertain future with and without you intermingle in his mind. Images of a possible you together with someone else cause him a pang of pain and a sense of emptiness he can't ignore.

"I know," he finally admits, his voice heavy with thought and concern, "I understand what you're saying, Aegon. And you're right that I don't want to regret not trying. But I'm also afraid that..." he smacks her lips, "That this conversation will ruin everything between us."

Aegon feels disappointment wash over him and has no choice but to resign himself and take it for granted that he will not muster the courage to speak with you.

So he lets out a long breath, gives him a friendly pat on the shoulder and nods sympathetically. And Aemond seeing it, notices the disappointment in his gaze.

"I'll think about it," he promises him, wanting to give him that hope and himself as well.

And Aegon places a small smile.

"Just don't think about it too much."

Meanwhile, the play between the children continues with joy and excitement, each laugh and shout filling the air with a melody of happiness. As the entire Targaryen-Hightower family immerses themselves among the familiars in conversation.

Until eventually the sun begins to set on the horizon, painting the sky in shades of gold and pink.

You talk with Alicent and Helaena, while Aenar exhausted but happy, snuggles in Aemond's arms, surrounded by all the love and affection of his family, until it's time to go home.

The darkness of night envelops the room, interrupted only by the faint glow of the night lamp and the clock showing two-thirty in the morning.

Aenar's cries fill the room as you swing him in your arms from side to side, walking around the room, stroking his back and trying to soothe him.

You feel a knot of worry as you watch him squirm uncomfortably in your arms, feeling his little body warm and his skin damp with tears.

His cheeks are pink and his eyes are red, as you try to wipe his face and try to get him to calm down, but the medicine hasn't soothed his pain and he also refused to take a bottle baby.

You run a hand over your face, still feeling drowsy and trying everything you can to be able to calm him down.

"Shh, shh, my love, it's okay," you whisper in a soft voice, rocking him tenderly and gently, "Mommy's here, sweetie."

But Aenar's persistent cries don't abate for the next fifteen minutes and as time passes, you don't know what else to do.

You know it's a fever, but it's not high, as the thermometer indicates. But you don't know why the medicine doesn't work.

But you do know that if it is very serious, you will have to take him to the hospital. But you know you can't do it alone, you need help and right there you decide to call Aemond despite the time.

With Aenar still in your arms, you carefully take your phone and dial his number, hoping that he will answer in the late at dawn. But he doesn't answer the first call.

Aenar shrieks louder and you dial again, pacing around the room, desperate and frustrated, still trying to calm him down and redialing Aemond as many times as it takes until he answers.

Until he finally does.

"Aemond?" you call out to him hopefully, with urgency and relief.

"Y/N?"

You hear his deeply hoarse, sleepy voice on the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry to wake you but I need your help."

Aenar's cry sneaks through the line, causing the dream to quickly fade from Aemond's system.

"What? What's wrong? Is everything okay?" he asks, concerned and attentive.

"Aenar is sick, he has a fever but it's not high. He won't stop crying, I've given him medicine and it's not working. I've been like this for almost an hour," you explain, your voice trembling with worry, "I-I don't know what else to do."

Aemond jumps out of bed, feeling the worry take hold of him as he pulls on a t-shirt and tennis shoes, not dropping his phone from his ear.

"I'm on my way, okey?" he says in a determined voice, as he hurries to get dressed and leave his room, "Don't worry, I'll be there soon enough. Just... keep trying to calm him down."

His voice is full of anxiety, worry and urgency as he tries to calm your nerves as well as his own.

"Okay," you murmur.

And each cry through the line only fills Aemond with more and more worry and it also breaks his heart to hear his little boy cry like that.

While you can hear the background noise, like the jingling of his keys and the buzzing of the door lock as it opens.

"I'm on my way out right now," he assures you, his tone urgent but comforting. "Don't worry, Y/N. I'm coming."

Meanwhile, you struggle to remain calm as you hold Aenar, your nerves on edge as you listen to her steady cry.

And as you wait for Aemond to arrive, you strive to soothe him, rocking him gently and whispering comforting words. But each time you try to comfort him, his crying becomes more intense and your concern grows in tandem.

And it's only made worse by the fact that you feel time seems to slow down and every second feels like an eternity.

Until finally you hear the sound of the door downstairs and your heart leaps with relief that it is Aemond.

It is precisely because of situations like this that you both made the decision that he also has a copy of the house key with him, so things are easier for both of you.

Then you hear his hurried footsteps up the stairs and when the door to the room opens abruptly, Aemond enters with his worried but determined look.

And you watch him with complete relief.

"Hey," you try to smile in the midst of the worrisome situation, still cradling Aenar against your body.

"How is he?" he asks, almost running to both of you.

"He won't stop crying," you tell him, feeling a lump in your throat, as Aemond runs one of his hands through his son's silver hair, "And the medicine still isn't working."

He nods with compression but still with concern.

"Hey, hey," he says softly, lovingly, still stroking his hair and yet still looking concerned, "What's wrong, my little boy?"

Aenar only cries harder and he begins to examine him.

With delicate hands, he checks his temperature and gently pats his forehead and cheeks, while Aenar continues to sob and writhe in your arms. Aemond frowns, concerned about his son's fever and the distress he is experiencing.

"It's probably because of the discomfort."

"So what are we going to do?" you ask, desperately searching for a solution to alleviate your son's suffering.

"Let's give him a bath," he propose, "It will bring down the fever and we'll also give him some more medicine. We'll see if that will make him feel better."

You nod, trusting him and thinking it's a good idea.

Aemond takes his son in his arms and Aenar clings to him tightly, while his tears keep falling down his chubby pink cheeks. And you quickly head to his bathroom to get everything ready.

Aemond cradles Aenar gently, feeling your heart clench at seeing him so distressed.

"It's okay, my little boy," he murmur to him, kissing his forehead tenderly, "Let's make you feel better, okay?"

Together you carefully place him in the tub, making sure the water is warm and comforting.

Aenar cries hoarsely and his body shivers slightly, but the comforting sensation of the warm water seems to calm him a little and his crying becomes quieter, but he still doesn't stop crying.

"Don't you think we should take him to the hospital?" you ask, still worried.

Aemond looks at you seriously and softly at the same time, his eyes reflecting the same concern you feel inside.

"I think we can handle it from here for now," he replies, his tone calm but confident, "The fever isn't too high and he's crying because he's not comfortable. But if the medicine doesn't work and he doesn't stop crying in another hour, we'll take him," he assures you.

You nod, that sounding good, and together you continue bathing Aenar, with you holding his little body very carefully while Aemond washes his hair and cleans it carefully.

After the bath, you both wrap him in a soft towel and carry him back to his room, where Aemond carefully administers another dose of medicine.

"I hope this helps," he murmurs, his voice full of hope as he watches Aenar with concern.

At least he's not crying like before but he's still crying.

Aemond gently cradles him once you put him in soft, comfortable clothes, pacing around the room, while you watch them attentively and worriedly, really not wanting both of you to have to take him to the hospital afterwards, hoping the bath and medicine will work.

Then finally Aemond feels him slowly begin to relax, sees his cries become softer and his little body loosen in his arms.

"I think you can let him sleep in his crib now," you whisper softly, feeling a great relief as you see Aenar slowly calm down in his father's arms, moving towards them carefully.

"No, he probably wants contact. If I leave him in his crib, he might cry again," he explain in an equally soft whisper. "But it doesn't matter, I can sleep with him on the couch."

You watch him intently and slightly worried.

"Are you sure? You won't be uncomfortable?"

He shakes his head, his expression showing serene determination.

"No, I'll be fine," he assures you gently.

He glances at Aenar, who now seems calmer, and then meets your eyes again, conveying a sense of gratitude and trust in you.

"Do you think you could prepare a baby bottle for him?" he asks you gently.

You nod with a comforting little smile.

"Of course."

The two of you walk down to the first floor, with Aenar still in Aemond's arms. You turn on the living room lamp and then head to the kitchen, while Aemond turns on the television with the volume low, providing a quiet background for the evening.

You open the cupboard, take out the baby formula and a clean bottle bottle. You carefully measure out the correct amount of formula and pour it into the bottle. Then you fill it with warm water and shake it gently until the mixture is completely dissolved.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Aemond settles down on the couch with Aenar in his arms, looking for the most comfortable position for both of them.

And seeing you return, he takes the bottle ready for Aenar.

"Thank you."

"I feel like you'll be uncomfortable," you insist, slightly worried, softly, "Are you sure you'll be able to sleep?"

"Yes, don't worry," he tells you disinterested, softly, "Besides, look at him," he points to Aenar, "He's already comfortable, he's feeling better and I don't want him to cry again."

You let out a long breath, as he is right.

But you interrupted the poor man's sleep at midnight, for an emergency, yes, but that he now sleeps on the couch is not acceptable to you and you feel sorry for him.

But Aenar is already calmer in his arms and that relieves you too much. And besides, it seems like the only option.

"I'll get you a pillow and a few blankets," you tell him, heading for the stairs.

And soon enough, you carefully place a pillow behind his back to bring him more comfort and then cover him and Aenar with a soft, warm blanket for the cool night.

Aemond settles in gracefully, thanking you softly, carefully adjusting Aenar in his arms and allowing his little one to drink from his baby bottle.

And as he continues to settle into his father's comforting arms, feeling the warmth of his body envelop him and enjoying the bottle, his breathing becoming calmer and more regular, Aenar finally falls asleep.

And that's when the feeling of total relief finally comes over you as you see him asleep, calm and serene.

Aemond also feels all the tension and worry leave his body as he sees his son healthy and comfortable in his arms, sleeping soundly, making sure he is well at all times, taking care not to wake him up.

And with a sigh of relief, you settle on the couch next to him, wanting to be present and supportive in whatever is needed during the night, in case of anything.

And this exactly catches Aemond's attention, watching you slightly confused but still with that warmth in his gaze.

"What are you doing? Go to sleep."

"I'm fine here," you reply calmly, offering him a small soft smile.

"You should go get some rest," he gently urges you, "You were alone for a long time trying to make him feel better, now I can take care of him for the rest of the night."

"No, I won't be able to sleep peacefully," you explain gently, "I want to stay here and help in case of anything."

Aemond looks at you with appreciation, but also with concern and in that he disagrees.

"I understand that, but seriously, you need to rest," he insists with an understanding look, "I'll take care of Aenar. Besides you'll only be on the second floor and I'll come with you if anything needed or happens."

Your tongue runs across your lips, still hesitant as you watch him.

"Are you sure?"

He gives you a small comforting smile.

"Very. Go to sleep, don't worry, honey."

You can't help but feel a strange feeling inside you as you hear his nickname for you, surprising you, so you quickly look away, trying to look unaffected and feeling for a second nervous.

And finally after a brief moment of hesitation, you finally agree, aware that Aenar is in very good hands.

"Okay," you give in with a tired little smile, getting up from the couch, "But you know, if you need anything or anything happens, anything at all, let me know."

"Sure," he answers you with a nod, conveying reassurance, "Sleep well."

"You too, Aem," you tell him as you start to walk away towards the stairs.

Eventually as the minutes pass Aemond begins to resume sleep now with Aenar in his arms, needing rest and feeling somehow more relieved to have his little one in his arms as you can make sure he is okay.

And you too, already in your bed, drift off into your sleep now feeling relieved and with no more worries.

The clock changes from three in the morning to eleven, where the warm sunlight gently reflects your room, while you wake up and yawn, still feeling sleepy.

You check your phone and knowing that you still have to sleep, your need to check on Aenar is greater and the unconscious reason that made you get up after a few hours of sleep.

And once in the living room, Aemond and Aenar are resting peacefully on the couch, their breaths soft and even, immersed in their deep and peaceful dreams.

You place a soft, small smile on your face at the sight of them, definitely feeling better to see that Aenar seems to be better after the long, troubling night.

With light steps, you approach the couch, trying not to disturb the sound sleep of father and son.

Fortunately no daylight enters through the blinds covering the large windows of the living room, only the TV on and also the entrance to the kitchen illuminate it a little.

And as you reach beside them, you gently stroke Aemond's hair, who from the sensation and your comforting touch, slowly half-opens his eyes.

"Hmm?" murmurs in a sleepy, hoarse voice, blinking slowly.

"Aenar seems much better," you whisper to him with a reassuring look, averting your gaze to your little one asleep in his father's arms, "I thought in that maybe you could let him sleep in his crib so you can rest more comfortably too."

Aemond nods slightly, his expression relaxed but still sleepy.

With careful movements, he rises from the couch, gently holding his son in his arms as you head towards the stairs. And once in his room, he very gently deposits him in his crib and tucks him in with a soft blanket, making sure he's comfortable before walking away.

"He definitely looks much better," he tells you with a relieved tone, "He's having a very good sleep."

"Yes," you confirm with a soft smile, sharing his sense of relief, "Yes, it looks like the rest is doing him good," you say, watching Aenar lovingly as he sleeps peacefully in his crib.

Aemond exhales softly, letting out the pent-up tension of the night, which instantly catches your attention.

"And you slept well? Was it very uncomfortable?" you ask him with some concern.

"Oh, no, it was fine," he answers you with a small smile and carefree attitude, "The important thing was that Aenar felt better and..." he sighs, "We both had a very good sleep together."

You nod with a grateful expression, though your eyes reflect a lingering glint of concern.

"Thank you for coming and taking care of him," you murmur gratefully.

"No need to thank," he replies softly, returning your small smile.

You both say nothing for a few seconds and he yawns, showing obvious signs of accumulated tiredness after the night of worry.

"I think I should go home now," he says in a soft, sleepy voice, though his gaze still reflects concern for his son.

You frown slightly.

"You're still tired. You should get some more sleep," you tell him, placing a comforting hand on his arm.

He is hesitant, torn between wanting to rest and worrying about Aenar, which you notice.

"You don't have to go," you tell him softly, "Sleep in the guest room and later we can fix something to eat."

He lets out a sigh.

"Are you sure?"

"Very," you nod, "Now come."

Together you head towards the guest room, where you prepare the bed for him, handing him soft blankets and also pillows to make him sleep more comfortably.

Aemond arranges everything in his own way as well and as he does so, his hand brushes against yours briefly, sending an electric current through both of you.

You both look at each other briefly and remain absorbing the stillness of the room, silent. You look away almost instantly, a little embarrassed.

But then, in a burst of sincerity, Aemond breaks the silence.

"Remember that day when we drove to the coast?" he asks you, his nostalgic smile adding a special sparkle to his eye.

A flood of memories wash over you, that sunny day and the laughter shared during that trip, so you nod with a warm smile.

"Yeah, how could I forget," you reply softly, "It was a beautiful day."

The mention of that special day seems to open a door to a sea of shared memories.

"And that you fell in the sand when we got to the beach?" you add, with an amused smile.

He lets out a laugh and you immediately follow suit.

"Yeah, how could I forget," he replies with a chuckle, sitting up in bed, "I can still feel the sand in my pants."

"I still remember what you looked like," you reply with a laugh, feeling the warmth of nostalgia envelop you, "You had sand in your hair too."

Aemond looks to a specific spot, his eyes shining with the light of memories as he relives every detail of those days.

"I remember we spent hours searching for sea shells on the shore," Aemond adds with a nostalgic smile. "And you insisted on keeping them all in a bag, even though you could barely carry it at the end of the day."

You laugh softly, nodding knowingly.

"I'll never forget the moment you tripped over that giant shell and almost fell into the water."

Aemond chuckles, the sound filling the room.

"It was a close call! Good thing you caught me just in time."

"Yeah," you nod, taking a seat next to him casually, also reliving those moments in your mind, "I also remember when we would go to the movies and always argue about what movie to watch," you mention, your voice slightly tinged with fondness from past memories.

"And how we would always end up watching a movie that neither of us wanted to see," he adds with a knowing smile, recalling the light and playful arguments you both used to have.

As memories flow between the two of them, an atmosphere of warmth and complicity fills the room, also in an intimate and cozy way, as if time had stopped to allow them to fully immerse themselves in the past.

The closeness between your bodies becomes obvious and a comfortable silence settles between you as you immerse yourself in the nostalgia of those shared moments.

Aemond observes you with a deep gaze, full of tenderness and complicity.

"I remember that day at the lake," he murmurs, his voice soft as a whisper, "That summer we planned a picnic and dropped that pie in the water."

A playful smile appears on his lips as he mentions that memory and you can't help but laugh as you recall the scene. The memories seem to come alive between you, as if you are reliving those moments together once again.

"And how you tried to catch that giant fish with your bare hands," you add.

He lets out a soft laugh.

"Nothing worked exactly as I had planned," he admits, "But it was fun, don't you think?"

"Definitely," you nod with a smile, letting nostalgia wrap around you like a warm blanket, "They were happy times."

"And they still are," he murmurs, his tone laden with meaning as his eyes meet yours, "At least for me."

Your heart flips at his words, and in that instant, you are overwhelmed by the intensity of emotion that threatens to overflow inside you.

Suddenly, Aemond takes your hand gently, and a shiver runs through your body at the contact. His fingers intertwine with yours in a natural way, as if they fit together perfectly.

Every touch, every gesture, seems to charge the room with a palpable energy, as if the air itself were charged with electricity.

Instead of running from it, however, you decide to let yourself be swept up in the moment, not knowing exactly why but allowing the connection between him and you to grow even stronger.

"For me too," you confess, your voice barely a whisper.

A tense silence fills the air, charged with anticipation and possibility. And the pounding of both of your hearts you can hear it in your ears, echoing loudly.

"Really?" he asks you longingly, his eye shining with hope.

You nod softly, letting your eyes convey to him the truth of your words.

"Yes," you answer truthfully.

His gaze shines with gratitude as he looks into your eyes with that longing and intensity, and at that moment, the tension is palpable between you and as if following an irresistible impulse, also without too much thought, you both slowly approach each other.

Aemond leans fully towards you and you, as if there is an invisible magnet, are drawn in without too much thought and your lips meet in a soft but meaning-laden kiss.

There is insecurity and shyness at first, surprise even, as if Aemond senses that at any moment you are going to push him away with one blow, creating a brush between both lips, wanting to make sure that this is something you want too.

But you feel the same way he does too, and more than anything it's as if you're testing the waters before you dive in completely.

And soon enough that tension fades, replaced by a wave of warmth and familiarity.

He moves his lips against yours with more purpose, this being something he longed for since the two of you were reunited, when the universe decided to give him this second chance and now that it's finally happening, he can't believe it.

You gasp against his lips and raise one of your hands, placing it on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you, as he places one of his hands on your lower back.

And then time seems to stand still, as you both sink into the kiss, your hearts pounding.

It is a kiss in perfect harmony and every touch, every sigh, every movement, is intense.

Gradually the pressure of the contact of lips against lips increases and the kiss becomes deeper and more passionate. Aemond feels as if he is floating and you remember the familiarity of it.

He slides one of his hands tenderly down your cheek as you gently caress his face and each touch is electric, sending currents of emotion through your bodies.

And when you finally separate, with your breath coming in short gasps and your heart pounding in your chests. There is a gleam of wonder and joy in Aemond's eye, while you are enveloped in a warm sense of accomplishment.

You both slowly pull apart, but keep your foreheads together, enjoying the proximity of each other

"What was that?" you ask, unable to look away from his bright, question-filled eye.

"I don't know," he answers you in a low tone, as if you're both sharing a secret, still unable to believe it, with that awe and longing, "But I've wanted to kiss you since the first time I saw you again."

You can't help but feel that flutter in your lower abdomen as you hear his words and you both stare at each other, plunged into the comfortable and meaningful silence.

When Aemond pops the little bubble and suddenly looks at you worried and sorry.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened," he mumbles, "Maybe it's not what you wanted and I got carried away—

"No, you don't have to apologize," you tell him instantly softly, "I think it was something we both needed."

"You wanted it?" he asks you still unsure.

"Yes," you confess, letting the emotion flash in your eyes as you dive deep into his.

Aemond smiles softly with tenderness, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb.

"I can't believe I waited so long to do this," he murmurs.

The warmth of his breath against your skin makes you shiver slightly, and without another word, he leans into you once more, seeking your lips with his in a kiss full of tenderness and passion.

He sucks on your lower lip with his mouth and you gasp, making him make his way into your mouth with his tongue.

And suddenly all you can think about is Aemond Targaryen.

The kiss is more needy, almost demanding, as his hand comes to rest in your hair and he pulls you fully into him, panting into your mouth, making you involuntarily start to move closer to his body.

Normally Aemond would think the two of you are just kissing and not going any further, but things begin to change the moment he notices your intention to sit on his lap, causing his alarm to disperse.

Both of your movements are more needy, almost letting go and he pulls away with a wet sound from your lips and watches you completely attentively and worriedly, his lips swollen and red.

"Y/N," he calls to you in alertness, "You're—

You don't let him finish, as again you kiss him without thinking too much and he doesn't object, kissing you back intensely.

And without stopping kissing him, you raise yourself slightly on the bed with the help of your knees, place a hand on his shoulder and drape a leg over his lap, sitting on top of him, bringing your hands to his hair.

He places his hands on your waist and both of your breathing begins to get heavy, with the room filling with the gasps and wet sound of kissing with each caress.

"Fuck-" he groans.

"Ae-mond," you sigh against his lips, beginning to feel that delicious ache between your legs.

And there's what I'd missed so much, too.

You saying his name like that, having you like that, kissing you like that, just everything about you that he can't believe is really happening.

Panting your name sends a wave of arousal throughout his body and he begins to feel the hardness in his pants.

He clings with more need to your lips and his hand grips your hair more firmly, gently tugging it away from your lips and planting soft, wet kisses on your neck, descending to your collarbone.

"Fuck, Aemond," you gasp, giving him more accessibility, your eyes closed and your lips parted.

He slowly moves back up the kissing path he drew on you and you lean in to kiss him again, repeating his actions, also leaving kisses on his neck, inhaling his deliciously masculine scent with a slight baby scent by Aenar.

You begin to feel the bulge in his pants, just below you, sending waves of excitement to your core that begins to tighten its walls around nothing.

And unable to help it anymore, you start rubbing your covered center against his hardness, kissing it and feeling yourself burning up inside, the room suddenly feeling too hot.

"Oh shit," Aemond gasps against your lips as you feel yourself rubbing against him, relieving a little of his need to find relief.

You roll your hips sensuously and with enough intensity that you both feel it all, causing you both to start breathing through your mouths.

He holds your waist tighter, panting against your lips and watching you as if you were a Goddess.

"You look so pretty," he says hoarsely.

This sends a new wave of arousal to your core and you also feel your cheeks light up.

And not knowing exactly what to say, you lean down to his lips again and take his lower lip in your teeth, pulling it free, causing him to move you more intensely on top of him.

"Take this off," you tell him between gasps, grabbing the edges of his shirt.

He does so without much thought, tossing it towards a spot in the room regardless, while you bite your bottom lip at the sight of his bare chest and run your hands over his white skin.

It's been years since you last saw him like this and he's not the only one who's been waiting for this since you both started being on the same page.

So you lean back in to kiss him and soon your own clothes on you start to bother you, so you take them off too, unable to resist any longer, revealing your bra.

Aemond leans back, watching you curiously and completely aroused.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," you murmur.

And that's just when Aemond no longer has any doubts.

You want this as much as he does.

So without further concern, he kisses you again and makes you rub against him again, feeling his hard cock begging to be released and relieved.

He runs his big, hot hands down your bare back, wanting to unbutton your bra, sending shivers and electric currents throughout your body making.

Your face and neck are on fire from his kisses and movements, making your whole lower stomach feel on fire as well.

He finally unbuttons your bra and pulls it across the room, leaning down to watch and admire you, feeling like his cock is going to explode at any moment at the sight of your breasts.

"Fuck," he murmurs hoarsely in delight.

He keeps one hand on your lower back, while the other goes up to one of your breasts, squeezing gently to do the same with the other, wanting to give them both equal attention.

He rolls your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, making you gasp and arch your back at the feel of his calloused fingers on your soft skin, feeling so good.

"I missed these amazing tits, baby," he murmurs, now holding both breasts with both his hands, kneading them as he wills, "I can't believe I missed watching them fill with milk."

You moan and gasp loudly as he ducks his head and takes one nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking it gently but hard enough.

"Oh, yes," you whimper, pulling your chest closer toward his face.

He runs his tongue all over the areola and gently grazes the nipple with his teeth, while his other hand keeps squeezing the other with his long, firm fingers.

He releases the nipple with a wet pop and looks at you with that twinkle in his eye, still kneading them.

"Do you like it, baby?"

"Yes," you murmur, rolling your hips on top of his cock, "It feels so good."

He takes the other nipple into his mouth, giving it the same attention as the last, while you moan at the delicious sensation.

Then he releases it with a wet pop and kisses you again, as he lowers his hands to your waist and continues down to your ass, kneading both your cheeks and squeezing it appreciatively.

You roll your hips against him with more purpose this time, kissing him, unable to get enough of him, needing more.

You suck and nibble on his neck, your hands roaming the hairy, silver planes of his chest, moving down his belly and reaching the edge of his pants.

That's when you stop and raise your gaze to him, silently asking his permission without saying a single word, watching as he's expectant in his gaze, trying to control his shaky breathing and holding back completely from pouncing on you.

"Please," he looks at you needy and you don't need to hear any more.

You sit on his knees and with your hands you begin to undo the buttons, watching the huge bulge forming, while he reaches up a little to pull his pants down just enough, as well as his boxers.

And when you see it, erect, big, fully hard and with its red tip, anticipation and excitement sweep over you.

You move towards him again, making him lean back further, sitting on his stomach and gently taking his hard cock in your hand.

He sighs as he feels the warmth and softness of your hand envelop him, gasping as you begin pumping in a not fast enough but not slow enough rhythm on his cock.

"Oh-fuck, baby," he murmurs hoarsely into your face, his cheeks pink and his lips parted, "Oh God."

He moans as you run your thumb over the tip, smearing a drop of cum in circles around the fat head.

His head falls back, sighing in relief as he feels his cock getting that attention it needs, while you kiss his neck and your free hand gently strokes his hair.

"Does that feel good, baby?" you ask in a low, husky murmur in his ear, causing him to shiver.

He hums in pleasure, tilting his head toward you to look into your eyes.

"It feels so good," he says appreciatively, hoarse and panting, "It feels so fucking good."

You kiss his lips and he gasps into your mouth as your hand strokes him more frantically, your fingers soaked with his fluids enveloping his cock completely.

"Ah... fuck," he says in plessure, closing his eye.

You run your hand completely up and down, even touching his two hard rocks, causing Aemond to squint and eventually his breathing becomes more choppy and agitated, on the verge of cumming.

He finds it embarrassing that you've barely started to touch it and he's already about to make a mess of it, but that's not what you think.

You feel a sense of satisfaction and are concentrating on making him feel good, even if it means making him cum in your hand, when suddenly, he grabs you by the hips, stops your movements and lifts you abruptly.

He wraps your legs around his naked torso and gently places you on the bed, while he stands upright.

"You almost had me," he says in a husky voice with a playful little smile.

You bite your bottom lip as he removes his boxers and pants, standing completely naked towards you, then leans back down towards you.

He places one of his hands on your cheek and kisses you deeply, running his hand slowly and gently between the valley of your breasts, down your belly and finally reaching down to your sleep pants.

But you grip his hips tightly with your thighs, flooded with heat and arousal as his cock presses against your still covered center.

He rolls his hips against you, still kissing you, rubbing along your pussy dripping with your juices, while his hands caress as much of your skin as they can.

You try to roll your hips, craving more friction, but one of his hands presses you against the bed, pinning you down as he takes his time, rolling slow against you as much as he wants.

"Fuck, I bet you're dripping."

You whimper.

"Yeah? You're already wet for me, baby?" he asks condescendingly against your lips.

"Aemond," you moan, "I need you," you plead.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll give you exactly what you want, everything you want," he says with some affection to again trap your lips in a passionate kiss.

"Please."

You beg, desperately trying to move against him.

"Shh," he whispers, rolling his hips against you again, this time a little harder.

You moan and he smirks with some satisfaction, watching your every expression, loosening his grip on your body and his hand moves down to the edge of your sleep pants.

"Okay baby, let me see that pretty pussy."

His words entertain you and without a second thought, you lift your hips and remove your pants, also your panties, as Aemond moves the clothes out of the way and he smiles and feels his cock pulse as he watches you spread your legs for him.

With his own hand he strokes his nice big cock, admiring your naked body at his disposal as if you were not real.

"You're so fucking wet," he moans, moving closer to you again.

Then he finally takes pity on you and runs one of his fingers along your slit, instantly feeling your juices envelop him completely.

You moan and clench your thighs, as he slides his finger through your folds and you moan once again pathetically, biting your lips.

Then he finally slides his finger down and gently presses inside your tight entrance, to sink it between your walls, as he uses his thumb to massage your bud.

And you let out a whispery moan at the comforting sensation.

"Oh my—

An electric sensation envelops you, as he thrusts his long finger in and out, then adds a second finger, pushing further in and pulling them apart, stretching your walls.

His thumb gently massages your bud in circles, causing you to jerk in breath-stealing pleasure as you press against his fingers.

"Fuck!" you moan, closing your eyes.

"What is it, baby?"

He asks you through parted lips, admiring you.

"D-don't stop," you beg in a low sob.

He adds a third finger, stretching you even further as his thumb presses against your bud, making you shudder with pleasure.

He continues to stimulate and arouse you until you become a mess, whimpering and growing that feeling deeper and deeper inside you, on the verge of exploding.

He curls his fingers, sending another little jolt of electricity inside you, dragging his fingers in and out of your soaking wet pussy.

You bite the inside of your cheek, as Aemond's other hand reaches up to caress one of your breasts.

And just when you think you're about to cum, he notices your whole expression puckered in pleasure, your lips in a perfect 'O' and your eyebrows drawn together, with your breath hitching, he pulls his fingers away from your pulsing, needy pussy.

Immediately that liberating sensation disappears and you moan in reproach and disappointment, watching him confused and instantly completely dissatisfied.

"Be patient, baby," he tells you as he takes you by the waist and places you in the center of the bed.

"Aemond," you moan again in reproach, "P-please."

"You're going to cum but not yet."

He leaves you in the position he wants and you notice how he is still erect and completely needy, instantly your mouth watering at the prospect of this actually happening after years.

Your walls throb and clench painfully but deliciously around nothing, still in pleasure from feeling him inside you and also from the anticipation.

And Aemond sensing your needs, especially ruining your orgasm, finally takes appropriate pity on you and begins to line up against your entrance.

For him this is a challenge, as you are tight, tighter than the last time the two of you shared a bed, so there is that excitement and anticipation you are giving him for allowing him this moment.

But before he enters you, he leans into you and whispers in your ear.

"Are you absolutely sure about this, love? This is the best time for you to stop me now."

You don't give him an answer right away, all you do, completely desperate and wanting to make your honest decision more than clear, you grab his cheek, turn him towards you and kiss him deeply.

He gasps into your mouth and responds immediately to the kiss, as you move your hips beneath him, causing your bud to rub against his hot, hard cock, causing relief.

"Yes, yes, absolutely sure," you say into his lips, kissing him again, "I'm yours, take me any way you want."

And there it is.

Aemond is no longer in any doubt.

Completely pleased and full of pleasure, he slowly sinks into you, inch by inch and not a sound comes out of your open mouth, you hear absolutely nothing either, only the ringing in your ears.

You don't even hear his panting and grunting, you don't focus on anything because your vision blurs for a moment.

Until he goes completely still, holding himself inside you without moving to allow you to adjust to his size.

"Fuck me," he moans, closing his eye in complete pleasure as he feels you squeeze all of him deliciously, just as he expected, "You're so tight and hot, baby."

He kisses you again, but you all you can feel is his huge cock buried in you. All of it.

It's been so long and it's perfect, more than perfect... there's just no feeling like it and you'd missed it.

"Are you okay?" he asks you tenderly, watching you intently beneath him.

"Yes," you murmur, breathing shakily.

You feel full.

Your bodies are one.

And then Aemond begins to penetrate you with slow, deep but urgent movements, rocking his hips against yours.

A sigh escapes your lips at the first movement and you cling to his shoulders, sinking your face between his chest and neck, moaning, as he gasps and with his free hand spreads your legs wider for him.

"Don't you ever make me wait to bury myself inside this pretty pussy again, did you hear me?" he says hoarsely in your ear, like a warning.

He moves his hips faster and deeper, as you try to respond, but your words are garbled and you don't process them in your brain.

"Words, baby."

"Yes," you finally manage to say, "God, Aemond, yes."

"That's what I like to hear. Good girl."

His words and his gun envelop you and flood you completely, a heady sensation as he takes you.

With each thrust, you moan and gasp, your legs locking around his torso to feel him deeper inside you and your hands grabbing his ass so you can pull him into you.

You rock against him, clenching around his big cock every time your skins met.

"That's it, baby. Just like that-fuck," Aemond's voice breaks off with a growl, from the intense sensations.

"Yes, yes," you moan in his ear, music to his ears, biting his shoulder lightly afterwards.

His hand moves up your stomach to your breast, pinching and massaging it as you gasp louder and he grunts, still penetrating you as he increases the speed.

"Fuck, you're so fucking tight," he moans, moving slightly to get a better angle, "You feel so fucking good, baby."

You literally scream as he touches that special spot inside you with each thrust, making you temporarily see stars, moaning loudly without being able to help it, feeling so good.

And immediately Aemond's hand comes up to cover your mouth, silencing your sounds and also stopping the movement of his hips.

"I love hearing your every sound , but you have to be quiet, baby," he says condescendingly, "You don't want to wake our son, do you?"

He removes his hand when he sees you try to speak.

"Yes, I know, sorry," you say agitated, needing him to move inside you again.

"Keep your voice down, love," he says then kisses you.

And just as you both begin to move in perfect synchrony your mouths together, he again begins to move or rather roll his hips sensually, slowly and deeply, making you gasp into his mouth.

Slowly he begins to pick up the pace he had before and pulls his lips away from yours, kissing your neck as his hand again takes one of your breasts, moving down your collarbone until he takes in his mouth the nipple he is not giving attention to.

You arch against him and try not to moan too loudly, feeling so good and feeling that little flame again begin to ignite and grow inside you until it explodes.

"Fuck, Aemond. Deeper," you moan, one of your hands clenching the sheet tightly.

"I'm not going to last long the way you're squeezing me, baby," he growls.

Then he dangles your leg over his shoulder, creating a new angle for his thrusts and finally does as you ask, penetrating you deeper and harder.

"Oh God," you whimper, feeling a new intensity.

The head of his cock hits your soft spot as he thrusts in and out. And he leans into you, his skin glistening with sweat and seeing how beautiful you look beneath him.

"Would you give me another one?"

Completely filled with pleasure and feeling incoherent at how he's making you feel, you don't understand his words or what he's referring to, so he leans in to leave a kiss on your lips, wanting your attention.

"Another babe," he murmurs longingly, ramming you hard, "I wasn't there for my first son in his first few months because of my stupid decisions, but I'll do it properly this time."

You moan, rocking your hips against his, your whole face contracting in pleasure.

"Will you let me?" he murmurs with pleasure on your lips, caressing one of your breasts, "Will you let me get you pregnant, watch you get swollen with my child and these amazing milk-filled tits?"

You just nod, mind fuzzy to really understand but nod, wanting more, needing more, no matter what.

"Yes, yes, I will," you say completely drunk on pleasure, nodding quickly.

"We're going to be a real family, my sweet girl," he says sweetly against your lips, then leaves wet kisses on your neck.

You just nod again and after several more thrusts, you moan loudly again as he brings one of his hands down to caress your bud with his thumb.

And he quickly covers your mouth again with his free hand, not wanting to stop once more, not now, when he's taking you to the edge of the abyss as he keeps ramming your G-spot repeatedly and at the same time stroking it with his thumb.

And watching you like this, watching you take his cock so well, like you used to, is a pleasure he hasn't felt since the last time he did this with you, flooding him from head to toe.

Watching the woman he loves, her breasts swaying with each thrust, cheeks flushed and her eyes between wide watching him back, is for Aemond a sensation beyond intimacy.

"A-aemond," you moan, feeling yourself cumming.

He grunts, moving his thumb faster on your bud, panting and breathing hard, feeling his balls tighten.

"Come on, baby. I can't hold back much longer, come for me, I need you to cum first," he almost begs you, grunting, stroking your bud faster.

You feel a wave grow inside you, a powerful electricity, feeling every muscle in your body tense and your eyes close tightly, arching your back.

You moan highly at Aemond's name, your vision suddenly going blank, as the most intense orgasm of your life rips through you, as he continues to penetrate you faster and deeper.

His cock squeezes deliciously as he feels you squeeze him in that incredible way, fucking you through your orgasm, prolonging it and it feels so good.

Your walls crisscross around him, sucking him in as he grunts loudly, calling your name as he penetrates you, his cock throbbing harder and harder and moving inside you with more uncontrolled movements.

And finally, he comes.

You could swear you're left watching stars behind your eyes, as you feel all of his hot seed fill your insides and Aemond continues to move his hips very slowly inside you, grunting as you feel all of him fill you completely.

"Ohhh-fuck," he sighs, throwing his head back, his eye tightening and his brows furrowed, cheeks flushed.

His hot seed floods your womb and it was so much that it began to drip out of you.

Your legs lose strength, as does your whole body and you lie slumped on the bed, filled to the brim with Aemond's semen, with that gratifying feeling between your legs and trying to catch your breath.

Aemond slowly and carefully pulls his cock out of you with a hiss, making you shudder a little, then leans into you, leaves comforting kisses on your cheek and collapses beside you, also trying to catch his breath.

"Oh-shit," he sighs, pulling you closer to his body, hugging you, "Are you okay, baby?"

You just nod, as you snuggle into his chest, still shaken and completely overheated, so Aemond leaves a soft kiss on the crown of your head.

"I'll clean you up in a second, okay?"

"Okay," you sigh, with your eyes closed and licking your lips.

His care gives you tenderness and with what little strength you manage to regain, you raise your gaze to him and leave a soft kiss on his lips which he instantly reciprocates, smiling softly against your lips.

But as soon as all the heat of the moment goes down, he can't help but feel unsure and worried.

"It's okay if you didn't mean what we said," he begins to tell you, "I understand it was all for the moment. And I won't expect anything after this if it's just a one-time thing for you."

The weight of his words hangs heavy in the air, filling the space between the two of you with a slight tension.

Also Aemond's anxiety is obvious, as if he is waiting for the world around him to crumble after what just happened, which foolishly only gave him hope.

But you with your gaze full of sincerity and affection, you run one of your hands over his face, gently removing the hair falling down his forehead.

"I meant it," you tell him in a soft voice, "What we said, what happened here...it wasn't just for the moment."

Her eye widens in surprise, her lips slightly parted as she absorbs your words.

A glimmer of hope shines in his gaze and his heart seems to lighten from an invisible weight.

"Really?" he whispers, her voice full of longing and relief.

You nod with a reassuring little smile, and before he can say anything else, you lean into him and kiss him tenderly, sealing your words with a gesture of affection and commitment.

The sunset gently caresses your face and Aemond's as you both sit together on a blanket in the huge garden of your house, sharing laughter and conversation while enjoying the food and the beautiful scenery that surrounded you.

You suddenly had the idea of wanting to have a picnic in the garden of your house and Aemond was not opposed to the idea.

You both talk about everything and nothing, immersing yourselves in each other's company and the tranquility of the moment, with the bushes, the colorful flowers and the green lawn.

Aemond smiles, watching you fondly, feeling grateful to have you by his side, while you are beaming, happy to be here with him, sharing this intimate and special moment.

And honestly, Aemond doesn't quite understand why you decided to give him this second chance.

In his mind, he relives these last few days, wondering over and over again what exactly has changed in you that made you decide to trust him again. Of course he feels grateful and very lucky, but he can't help but wonder.

And honestly you're not entirely clear either.

After everything you went through on your own, after you had to carry most of the weight on your shoulders in the beginning and you had to fight against almost everything to be able to support yourself and your child... then everything got better and better.

You don't have a clear answer, but something about the way he has gone out of his way so far to show his remorse and genuine desire to make things right gave you hope.

Aenar is completely happy when he is with him and really a father figure was never lacking.

These early years for Aenar are very important and your reunion with Aemond happened at the ideal time for Aenar to have that father and son relationship with him.

Aemond takes your hand tenderly and delicately, intertwining his fingers with yours as he looks at you lovingly.

"I don't want anything else, just you and Aenar," he tells you with a small smile, vulnerable but sincere, "I couldn't imagine a better place than being here with you."

You smile back at him, feeling a warm tingle in your chest at his words.

You move closer towards him and gently caress his cheek, bringing your forehead together with his, letting the peace and tranquility of the pleasant moment envelop you.

"I know I never told you before because I wasn't sure if I felt it anymore," you begin to say in a soft voice and Aemond listens to you carefully, "But I love you too."

Aemond smiles softly and he swear he feel his eye begin to water, unable to help it.

And without wasting a second, he leans into you and captures your lips in a soft, passionate kiss, causing you both to lose yourselves in the moment, enveloped in the warmth of your love for each other.

"I love you," he murmurs once again against your lips, watching you and holding you in his arms adoringly.

Again he kisses you again, sweetly, softly and with deep feeling and after a while, they continued to embrace, enjoying each other's closeness.

And together they kept talking, laughing and caressing each other, because it is the moment of peace and happiness for both of them, finally after a long time.

Aemond had been feeling the pressure of his work lately. The constant demand of rehearsals, recordings and events was draining him physically and emotionally.

And after much reflection, he decided to take a temporary break from his career so he could devote more time to his family and himself.

When he shared the news with his family, he expected some resistance or concern, but instead, he received overwhelming support.

His mother and siblings supported him in his bravery in making that decision, as well as expressed their joy at having him more present in their lives, just as you did when he told you about his decision.

His family was also very happy for him and for you when Aemond shared with them the news that the two of you are trying again, Aegon most of all was very proud.

And that evening in the garden, while enjoying the picnic with you, he hears a familiar little voice that instantly makes him smile and fills him with joy.

"Daddy!"

Aenar exclaims, running to them with open arms and a huge smile, with Aunt Helaena running after him, telling them that the little boy missed his parents.

Aenar throws himself into his arms and you laugh, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead, while Aemond hugs him and leaves repeated kisses on his cheek, making him laugh.

Both he and you feel a deep sense of gratitude and happiness.

And in that moment, surrounded by love and laughter in the garden, Aemond feels complete and at peace, with his little family.

general taglist:

@imaegonstargaryenswife0 @bellstwd @gibbsgirl7 @toodlesxcuddles @imsoshygirl @croatianprincess @gemini-mama @a-little-roony-mara @mysteris-things @zenka69 @at-a-rax-ia @fan-goddess @duds31 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @eternally-passionate @bellaisasleep @ttkttt @aemshaircare @mellowdreamlandpost-blog @noodle81937 @mooncalvin @queenofshinigamis @n4tforlife @vexladin @dixie-elocin @wotcherpeak @watercolorskyy @shiny-trashs-blog @strangersunghoon @elysian0612 @skzenhalove @iloveallmyboys @cakescupcakesminicookies

[inbrightshadows]

*sticks one arm out from under my rock, slips this into the tag, and retreats back under my rock* Inspired by the cass apocalyptic series by somerandomdudelmao It's a very very cool rottmnt fancomic and you should give it a read 👉👈🥺 (Not canon but you might recognize some parts/dialogue from the comic) [warning for implied/referenced past infant death but no actual infant death (the boy is fine dw), infected wounds, amputation, and a dog like creature biting someone]

The first time Casey Jr almost dies he's about three months old, by their best guess, and he's only been Casey Jr for a week.

Cassandra and Raph go out on a supply run, which is normal. They come back with a baby in a box, which is not.

Fortunately or unfortunately, there's no such thing as government or paperwork in the apocalypse. So there's nothing stopping Cassandra from saying “I found him in an alley so he's my son now, his name is Cassandra Jr.” And that's that.

Thankfully, this isn't the resistance's first baby so there's plenty of formula and hand me downs to supply Cassandra in her sudden status as a Mom. And everything else the family quickly supplies.

Donnie is very uninterested in babysitting the oozy crotch goblin but Casey Jr's crib still has the genius built logo and built in laser security system to prove he cares in his own way.

Mikey breaks into his carefully rationed paint supply to paint a small mural above the crib and takes every chance to babysit he can.

And Raph? Well Raph dives headfirst into the roll of co-parent slash halway blockade.

Then there's Leo.

In his own words, he has a whole resistance to babysit. And besides that there’s not much he can really do other than what he’s already doing.

Fight the krang, stop the war, give little Casey Jr a better world to grow up in. And also avoid everyone’s efforts to get him to hold the baby.

He is not cut out for tasks that require a delicate touch but it seems like he’s the only one who understands that. He’s a gigantic mutant ninja turtle who, unlike his brothers, has never had any kind of hobby that requires any kind of delicacy. So he hangs back, he keeps an eye out for things that will be useful to the Caseys while he’s out on the surface, and he waves away attempts to hand Jr to him.

And then Casey Jr gets sick.

It should be fine. Should be normal. Babies are delicate little things, getting sick is a thing they do. Except there’s not much the way of medicine in the apocalypse. And babies are delicate.

It starts as a low grade fever. By the end of the day it’s a raging bonfire. They have a lot of things but medicine is in short supply. Nothing they have is working. It’s just Casey Jr, sobbing his heart out on Raph’s shoulder while Cassandra hovers and Raph tries to soothe all three of them.

There’s nothing Leo can do to help. They don’t have the medicine they need to treat the fever. At least not something safe to use on a baby. Raph is the one who remembers how Dad used to use lukewarm baths to break their fevers when they were little and he was still too scared to try human medicine on them. It helps enough that they can get some formula into the kid. But it’s not fixing things.

Two days pass and the fever refuses to break. The baths are becoming less and less helpful. After the third refused feeding attempt that afternoon Donnie slams down a map of ‘areas most likely to contain useful information or materials for treating a sick baby.’

Leo and Mikey gear up and head out leaving Donnie to monitor things back at base while April takes charge of running everything else so that Raph is free to help Cassandra take care of Jr.

It’s bad luck, really, that a pack of krang dogs find their camp on the first night. It should be fine. They should be able to handle it.

But bad luck is bad luck.

Leo sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He moves to dodge and the ground underneath him decides now is a perfect time to give way.

“LEO!” Mikey yells as Leo tumbles away into the dark.

Leo grunts, biting back a scream as the Krang dog’s teeth sink into his arm. They tumble into the dark together, bouncing down the stacks of rubble. It’s dead by the time he lands but the damage is done.  

The good news is that the fall kept the dog from getting a good grip on him.  

The bad news is that even if the bite won’t infect him with Krang regular infections are different story. Krang zombies have foul mouths.

Mikey can’t find out it managed to bite Leo. If he does he’ll want to go back and get Leo treatment before they look for the medicine.

And right now every second could mean the difference between getting medicine to Casey Jr in time or adding to their graveyard.

So Leo makes sure that by the time Mikey makes it down to him his first aid kit is a good bit lighter and any sign of the bite is hidden beneath his normal arm wraps.

When Mikey finds him Leo smiles and doesn’t hesitate to wrap both arms around his little brother.

“Are you okay- did it bite you?” Mikey asks, darting around him to hunt down every last scrape.

“Nah, just a couple of scratches,” Leo lies. “Let me heal them-” “No, we’ve got a ways to go, I won't risk you wearing yourself out too soon.” “Leo!” “I already used my first aid supplies on them! It’d be a waste if you healed me now!” Mikey glares at him but huffs and nods. “Fine! But if they start to feel bad-” “I’ll tell you, don’t worry,” Leo lies again.

Day two is a bust. There's useful supplies in the area Donnie marked out for them to search, sure, but nothing that will help  Casey Jr. Or the sensation of a burn throbbing its way up Leo's hidden bite wound.

Leo and Mikey mark out where the useful things are and keep going. Someone can go back for them when they're less pressed for time.

That night Leo waits for Mikey to fall asleep before he checks the bite. It's bad.

The moment the bandages come off he's gagging at the putrid stink of infection. It's hard to see it in the dark but then again he's not sure he really wants a better look. It wouldn't change his mind anyway.

He can make out the dark veins of infection spreading. If he wasn't green it'd certainly be a violent red.

He cleans it, spreads a thin layer of disinfectant cream that will do about as much good as throwing a cup of water at a bonfire, and re-bandages it.

His usual arm wraps go up over top of it, hopefully Mikey won't notice he's done them a bit higher than normal.

All the evidence goes into the fire. By the time Mikey's turn to take watch comes all that's left is ash.

On day three Leo wakes up feeling like someone dropped a building on him. He makes the mistake of groaning about it.

“Leo? Are you okay?” Mikey asks. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just, uh, I think I’m inheriting Dad’s back problems! That or the Krang made the ground harder.” Mikey snickers. “I mean, they would, but I’m also pretty sure you just called yourself old.” “I did not!” Leo drags himself upright and makes a show of cracking his back. It obliges with a satisfyingly loud pop that makes Mikey giggle harder. “I think your spine disagrees with you too.” “Shut up!” “Awwww are you feeling cranky, old man?” 

Leo is too exhausted to feel properly offended or even think of forming a comeback but he plays it up for his little brother anyway.

Anything to keep him from worrying. Or forcing them to turn back. It’s fine. This shouldn’t take too much longer anyway.

It’s midday by the time they reach the second site. Just from a glance it’s obvious this is a more promising site. There are actual chunks of buildings scattered around and there’s enough of a shattered sign left lying around to tell them that whatever kind of care this place used to give it was geared specifically towards children.

There’s plenty to find digging through the rubble. Well. Plenty for Mikey to find. Leo is mostly trying not to let on how dizzy he is.

To both of their frustration, they run out of daylight before they find anything. Leo can feel his body screaming at him to lay down and rest. Just a little longer, he tells his body. They’re going to find the medicine. He can feel it. Leo just needs to make it at least that long.

The fourth day dawns. Mikey shakes him awake as soon as there’s enough light ot see by. Leo bites back a moan as he claws his way upright. Leo thought his arm hurt before but now it feels like someone is pouring lava down it.

He notes with a calmness that boarders on absurdity that he can’t feel his fingers.

Something must show on his face- or maybe he just looks at least halfway as awful as he feels- because Mikey frowns at him when he wakes up.

“I’m worried,” Leo blurts out. “If this takes much longer then- I don’t think- he’s already been sick for so long.” “We’ll find it. Today, I’m sure. I’ve got a good feeling.” Leo tries to smile for him and hopes the shaky thing he offers up is enough. Well. At least one of them is feeling good.

Leo is lucky. He’s always been lucky. Luck runs out eventually, it always does. But not today. Maybe it helps that Leo isn’t hoping for something for nothing. Because on day four they strike gold.

Mikey is a short bit away, digging through the rubble with his power, hunting for anything with even the chance of helping. Leo is doubled over just out of his site, trying to stifle his stomach’s efforts to rebel against him.

Don’t hurl, he tells himself, if you hurl there’s no way Mikey won’t realize something is wrong.

He forces his eyes open, hoping that focusing on something will help. And then Leo’s eyes fall on a shattered glass cabinet, several packs of some something promisingly adorned in cartoon human children. He reaches in, flips it, and feels a wash of relief when he realizes it’s exactly what they’re looking for.

“Mikey- Mikey look-” everything fuzzes, tumbles. There’s something under him. He blinks back blurs of color, tries to resolve them into something coherent. Mikey’s face hovers over him, mouth moving. He looks upset. “What's the matter?” he tries to ask. “Leo! Leo, are you sick? What hurts?” “Arm,” Leo answers without thinking.

Oh shit. Oh shit he’s not supposed to let Mikey know. But it’s a little late for that. At least the panic clears his head a little. Mikey makes a wounded sound in the back of his throat as he uncovers the bite.

“Leo.” “Yeah, I know. Sorry… sorry for lying.” He watches Mikey’s lip wobble until Mikey catches it in his teeth. “Leo this is bad! We- I don’t know if we have the supplies to treat this!” Leo hums. Now that the panic is fading it’s getting so much harder to think. He lifts his good hand before he can forget and flops it over towards Mikey. “S’okay. We can go back now.” Mikey takes the box of medicine with shaky fingers. “Leo,” he croaks.

Mikey is talking. Something… probably important? He looks scared but they’re not under attack. He’s pretty sure they’re not. Leo tries to focus on him anyway but it’s so hard. He’s so tired.

He’s been tired but there was no resting, not properly, not until they got what they needed. They do now so it’s fine, he can rest his eyes a bit.

Good. Seeing is hard too. Just blurs and colors.

He feels Mikey’s hand on his face, his voice in his ears. He tries to pay attention but he’s slipping, sliding away.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, but he’s out before he can think of what, specifically, he’s sorry for.

Leo doesn’t remember the trip back, just the thud of Mikey landing. Someone screaming. A hand squeezing his. Small. Thin fingers. Lots of them.

“April?” he might mumble. He thinks. “Shhh, rest big guy,” Probably-April says. “Donnie has it. He’s gonna fix it.” Oh. That’s good. He lets himself sink, lets her hold him together while he waits for Donnie to do what Donnie does best.

A light in his face. “Am I dying?” he says. Thinks? Someone hisses. Angry sound. Who does that again? “Not if I have anything to say about it. And I have a lot to say about it.” Oh. Donnie is here. That’s good. Didn’t someone say he was coming? “Now go to sleep, you don’t want to be awake for this part.” Leo doesn’t get a chance to answer, he’s already sinking again.

Leo blinks up at the ceiling of Donnie’s lab. He spends a good while just staring at it, trying to get his brain to work. His arm throbs. “Ow.”

Some several things crash and shatter and then Donnie''s face hovers into view. “How do you feel- nauseous? any pain, aches, fever? Chills?” “Uh, my arm hurts a little?”

“Which one? The one that got bit by one of the most disease ridden things in the apocalypse and then went four days without medical care or the other one?” “Hey I did some medical care!” “You did FIRST AID. You know, the thing you do to help someone before you get them ACTUAL MEDICAL CARE.”

Leo winces. There’s no arguing about that one. “Ok well, I was hoping we’d find the medicine and get back before it got too bad.” “Well. You didn’t.” “Yeah, I guess. How long was I out?” he asks. He tries to lift his arm but he can’t feel it move. He frowns. “It… barely hurts anymore. Uh. Donnie? I can’t- Um. Donnie. I can’t feel my arm.”

Donnie’s face twitches. Leo tries to turn his head to look at his arm. Donnie’s hand darts out out to stop him. Leo looks at Donnie again. Donnie looks away, grimacing and refusing to make eye contact.

“Donnie-” “Don’t look yet.” Leo tries to move his arm again but there’s still no response. No it’s not just that there isn’t a response. He can't even feel the weight of it.

He can feel his shoulder. He can feel a ring of throbbing pain a few inches above his elbow. And then it’s just… light? Like there’s nothing but air- oh. Oh. Okay then. There’s where his luck ran out. “...Huh. That’s. Hm. Let me see?” “Leo-” “Donnie. Let me see.” Reluctantly, Donnie eases back.

For a second Leo doesn’t do anything. He closes his eyes and breathes. He turns his head. He opens his eyes.

It’s gone.

Everything past his first crescent marking is gone.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep, measured, breath. Okay, he thinks. Okay. He’s a medic. He knew this was a possibility.  Donnie starts eyeing him nervously.

“Did he make it?” Leo asks at last. “...Yeah he made it,” Donnie says quietly. Leo feels like he's fully breathing out for the first time since Cassandra burst into the infirmary with a sick baby in her arms. "Good. That's good." Donnie puts his hand over the end of Leo's nub, covering the scar. He stares at the floor and says nothing. Silence reigns. Leo stares up at the ceiling, letting it settle around them.

Until the door slams open and the rest of his family tumble through the door, both Caseys included.

The last knot of tension loosens from him at the sight of Casey Jr, happily wiggling in his mom’s arms as he flails his arms at Raph.

He tears his eyes away as his family gathers around him, worried and loud, and Leo only knows one way to calm them down.

“So. I’m guessing I'm the opposite of... All Right now, huh?” Cassandra covers Casey Jr's ears. Donnie leans away, inhaling sharply. “Why are you like this?“ he asks. “Because it's all I've got... Left” Raph groans, hiding his face in his hands. “Already?” “Put him back under,” April says, deadpan. “Boooo,” Mikey says, and Leo pretends he doesn’t sound two steps away from tears.   “I hate you so much,” Donnie lies, a few screens manifesting around him. He taps away with the hand that isn't still covering the scar on what remains of Leo's arm while Leo laughs at his own terrible jokes.

“You no longer have a choice about getting a prosthetic. Mikey tried to say I had to ask before implanting experimental technology in your body but you know what? I’m making an executive decision. I can’t live with the puns.”

Leo starts laughing harder, so hard that it circles right back around to sobbing. He’s buried in a pile before the first sob can even fully leave him. Donnie’s eyes stay on the screen even as he shifts his hand to Leo’s shoulder and squeezes. “I’ll fix it. Don’t worry.”

Leo spends a lot of time sleeping but he’s never alone when he wakes up.

There’s Raph, showing off the balls he’s threading onto his mask tails so Casey Jr can climb them while Cassandra sits nearby, once more restitching her perpetually tearing sleeves on her shirts.

He wakes to Mikey making little fish or birds dance in the air while Casey Jr sits in his lap and reaches for them.

Or there’s April pouring over battle plans with a mug in one hand and the other wrapped around Casey Jr.

Point is there’s a lot of Casey Jr. So Leo really should be prepared to wake up with a tiny weight on his chest, healthy and safe and sound. And still so very tiny. His breath hitches, he doesn’t dare move.

“Bemused scoff.”

Leo carefully turns his head toward where Donnie is busily typing away at something.

“You know you can’t avoid holding him forever. Even I've held him." Leo gives Donnie the flattest look he can manage. Sure. Donnie has held Casey Jr. Once in a blue moon when there was literally no one else to do it (and Leo's hands were firmly tucked under his arms.) For about sixty seconds total. "...I've held him more than you have.”

Leo grimaces. “Look, I wasn’t cut out for holding delicate stuff when I had two arms. It’s an even worse idea now that I’m twice as likely to drop him.”

“Invalid excuse. I’m already working on a solution to your arm situation.” Donnie waves his hands and his ninpo sparks, building a blue print of an arm and some other thing hovering in the air between them.

“These are the schematics for a bio-mechanical arm and a socket implant to allow it to safely interface with your nero-” Leo’s brain glazes over the rest of Donnie’s explanation.

“...So you want to turn me into a kick ass cyborg?” he asks as soon as Donnie is done. “Did you listen to none of what I just said?” “C’mon, Don, I’ve got you for all the nerd stuff.” “Exasperated sigh, yes I’m turning you into a kick ass cyborg.” “Sweet,” Leo says, yawning. Donnie huffs. “Go back to sleep, Nardo.” “Can’t, baby could fall,” Leo mumbles. “I won’t let him fall. Just rest.” And Leo trusts his brother. So he does.

It takes a frustratingly long time for Leo to recover enough for the surgery to implant the port for the arm in his stump. It’s more low profile than he expected, hardly noticeable at all unless you’re looking head on at it.

Then there’s a whole other saga of learning how to use the arm Donnie has built him. It’s clunkier than Donnie’s preferred standards but it works almost as seamless as his real one. He gets good with it and he gets good with it fast because with the Krang you either do it fast or you don’t do it all.

The unintended and unwanted side effect of this is that now his family are no longer accepting “I’m not good enough with my arm I might drop him” as a valid excuse to not hold Casey Jr.

And they are very, very, intent on getting him to hold Casey Jr.

Look. Leo is thanking sweet pizza supreme in the sky and every one of the Hamato ancestors, Casey Jr bounces back from being sick like it never happened.

He bounces and wiggles, he babbles and giggles, as though less than a week or so ago he wasn’t so sick that Leo and his family (literally) risked life and limb to get him medicine. And Leo is thrilled. Really.

It’s just that he wishes his family would stop encouraging Casey Jr’s newest favorite game- trying to grab Leo. Because apparently one of any baby’s favorite thing is whatever they can’t have.

“Here! Hold him!” Mikey holds Casey out so that he faces Leo. Casey Jr, who seems to have a sixth sense for when someone is playing the 'try to get Casey close enough to touch Leo' game,  is thrilled. His tiny arms wave at Leo, itty-bitty fingers clenching like they’re ready to latch on the second they’re close enough to touch him.

“W-wait, I can’t!” Leo protests for the thousandth time. But Mikey isn’t taking no for an answer this time. A nudge of mystic power keeps Leo from fleeing. All Leo can do is tuck his dangerous un-baby proofed metal arm away from tender baby skin and wave his flesh hand pleadingly.

“C’mon Leo… you have to hold him eventually.”  Mikey cajoles, gently waggling Casey Jr.

“Not happening, no way.” Leo leans back as far as Mikey’s powers will let him.

“Yes way,” Mikey says, holding Casey closer and closer. Casey is giggling furiously, tiny arms flying at top speed.

“Do you even see how tiny he is?” Leo points at the baby, just in case Mikey needs a reminder. “I could break him with one finger!” There’s a tiny nudge to said finger. Leo looks down. Casey Jr is copying him, nudging Leo’s much larger finger with his own.

Mikey gets a look on his face. A terrible, evil, look.

“One finger? Like thiiiiis one?” Mikey grins as he lifts his middle fingers away from Casey Jr’s body. Leo freezes. “Mikey. Mikey no.”

“Whats that? Oh nooooo.... I can’t hear you over the sound of my grip slipping!” Mikey sing-songs. “Don’t you dare!” Leo stares at him, horrified and frozen. He won’t. Surely he won’t. Cassandra would murder him. Raph would double murder him. He wouldn't. Right? Right??? “Oh no! I hope someone catches the poor delicate baby!” And then Mikey drops Casey Jr.

Leo shrieks. He forgets that Mikey is literally magic and does not need his hands to hold a building, much less a baby.

“Mikey what the fuck!” Leo squawks, hands flying forward and closing around the tiny delicate bundle that is- … not falling towards the ground at all actually.

The gears turn, the realization that he's been tricked sets in. Leo glares at Mikey. Mikey grins, unrepentant, and waves his faintly glowing hands, a glow also present around a perfectly safe Casey Jr. The glow vanishes and Leo feels the surprisingly greater weight of the baby properly in his hands for the first time.

“Ahhhh Mikey- Mikey take him back!” Mikey stubbornly keeps his hands in the air and backs away, still grinning. “You’re fine, you’ve got this.” “I don’t have this!” in spite of saying this Leo is already tucking Casey closer to him. “It’s fiiinnne, you're doing fine! Look, he’s having a great time!”

Tiny clumsy fingers hit his jaw, drawing his eyes down. Casey Jr has one hand buried in Leo’s scarf. The other is pressed to the highest part of Leo’s face it can reach. As he looks down they stretch up, reaching for the vibrant red markings on his face.

“Ah- what- what does he want?” “Awww he likes your stripes, hold him higher!”

Hesitantly, Leo shifts the baby a little higher in his arms and Casey’s little fingers smack against his markings, clenching against them as best the pudgy little things can. Leo chuckles. “What? You want those? Hate to break it to you bud but they’re kind of attached to me.” Big dark eyes lock onto his. Casey Jr babbles. His little fingers flex against Leo’s face again.

Someone makes a noise like a slowly deflating balloon. Leo looks up to find Raph has found them. He’s standing in the doorway, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Please tell me Donnie has a good angle on this,” he says, voice wobbling. Raph’s com clicks on and switches itself to speaker mode. “Sending you the best shots as I speak,” says Donnie’s voice. “I hate all of you,” Leo lies. Mikey snickers at him, Raph is too busy cooing to reply. And then Casey Jr realizes Raph is there and decides he’s done being held by Leo. He leans his entire body toward Raph and puts all of his tiny baby might into wiggling free of Leo's grip.

“Oh fuck-” “Don’t cuss in front of the baby!” “Raph. Raph.” “You’re doing fine, relax-”  “He’s gonna fall! I’m gonna drop him- Raph!” Raph easily scoops Casey Jr up, saving Leo from the terrifying force of a wiggly baby.

Casey Jr giggles and grabs for Raph’s mask tails while Leo dramatically flops to the floor. Mikey continues to snicker at Leo’s expense, floating over to pat his head.

“I can’t believe you pretended to drop him just to trick me into holding him,” Leo groans. “You what?” Raph’s head snaps over to them. Mikey freezes. “I had mystic hands on him the whole time!” “Baby holding is a two hand activity!” “You literally hold him with one hand!” “Raph’s hand is big enough to count as two!” “Oh that is so not fair!” “... Leo watch the little man for a minute.” Raph sets Casey Jr down by Leo’s head. Leo makes an inarticulate sound of horror but before he can protest Raph is already bolting for Mikey.

Mikey flees with a yelp.    Leo looks at Casey Jr. Casey Jr looks at him. “So, you come here often?” Casey Jr stuffs his fist in his mouth and makes a garbled noise around it, almost recognizable as a very turtle like chirp. Leo checks that his brothers are out of ear shot and then chirps back. Casey Jr’s eyes widen and sparkle. He takes his damp hand out of his mouth and smacks Leo in the face with it. Leo grimaces. “Thanks.” In the distance, Mikey screams as Raph catches him but it's just as quickly followed by laughter.

Casey Junior grows up in between loss and stolen joy and forgotten childhood memories. He gets old enough to ask questions. Inevitably, the day comes when he asks “Sensei, how did you lose your arm?”

And Leo lies.

Or, well… He doesn’t lie so much as he just… leaves out some details. Details Casey Jr does not and will not ever know if Leo gets his way.

“Ah, you know… Krang dog got a lucky bite in. By the time I got back to base it was the arm or me and Donnie chose me.” He says it with a light little shrug, like it’s no big deal.  

Because for Leo, it’s not a big deal. Between losing an arm and losing family he’d chose the arm over and over again.

[onyxmilk]

Twilight x f!Reader; "Missing" (p3)

notes; part three to this! tbh i wasn't planning on making a part three but here we are lolz tw; Reader uses She/Her pronouns!, child getting lost, wc; 1.5k tl; @dianexo-v @mr-underhills-things @solaeirr @lenguasdegatofan @0vendettaself @sassy-cat-in-town @dreaminmemories @not-9ok @deepdinosaurwizard @dvc4 @wr4inn

Yor knew the relationship with Loid was fake and built on the narrative of getting Anya into school, but she could not help falling hard for the man. Between the way he cared for himself, how they looked as a family, and his gentle words when it came to Anya- it was like they were a real family, something she always had wanted. So, when she didn’t get a call from Loid’s office today explaining that he’d be late, she was a bit worried about when he would come home. Yor put Anya to bed after homework and dinner, allowing Bond to sleep with her as usual, and sat in the living room.

When Loid walked into the apartment, he was practically glowing with happiness. “Loid! I didn’t know you were going to be working late today.” Yor said with worry leaking from her voice, “Oh, I do apologize, I had a visitor today..” Loid said as he cleared his voice. He felt somewhat bad for keeping his real relationship and his real daughter away from Yor, but it could affect how the mission finishes out. So, he kept this information private, and away from her and Anya.

“Oh? A visitor?” Yor asked, Loid shook his head “Just.. a friend, her daughter needed some counseling.” he lied. Yor smiled and nodded, “Well, we had take-out, leftovers are in the fridge.” she offered before getting up and nodding in the direction of Loid. “Night..” Yor mentioned passing him, making sure to gently bump into him and touch hands. Loid just nodded his head, “Good night, Yor.” he replied before heading to the kitchen.

After eating some cold take-out, Loid was stuck in his head. He just sat back and sighed, he missed his daughter and he had hardly talked to her, but he also missed his real wife, his real bed, and his real home. Loid was beyond shocked and impressed on how his wife had been raising their daughter all by herself. He just sighed and leaned back, running a hand through his hair. He was stressed, and all he was truly craving was what his life could be with his daughter and wife.

[YourName] gently puts Lotte down into her crib, smiling down at the little one. For once, she felt happy, light on her feet. She shuts the door as quietly as she could before walking down the hallway and giggling, “He remembers me!” [YourName] cheered as she twirled before landing on the couch. Sure, she missed her husband and seeing him every day but being able to see him and be able to kiss his lips brought joy to her.

The following day would be a Saturday, so Anya didn’t have school. “I want to do something today!” Anya whined at breakfast, Yor looked over to Loid silently looking for options to entertain their adopted daughter. “We could.. Go to the park with Bond.” Loid offered, Yor nodded her head in agreement- thinking whatever he came up with would be good. Anya gasped “An Ooting!” she celebrated, “You hear that, Bond? We’re taking you out on an ooting!” the child said, turning to the big dog.

Soon, breakfast concluded and it was time to get ready for the park. Loid thought that perhaps the park would have been better than sitting in front of the TV all day. So, Yor helped Anya get ready before doing so herself, “Do you think papa loves me?” Yor asked Anya. Anya paused, she knew the truth. She knew Loid wasn’t who he was, he was actually a spy with an actual family, she just didn’t want to hurt her mama’s feelings. “Of course! Papas are supposed to love mamas!” Anya said innocently, as if she didn’t know better. “Ah, yes, you’re right.” Yor replied, getting up to her feet “Well, I’m going to get ready.” she said gently before exiting her daughter’s room.

Yor would get ready, admiring herself in the mirror before patting her flustered cheeks. She had been thinking about the possible compliments Loid would give her for dressing appropriately and dressing Anya on top of that. She adored when he complimented on her motherly tendencies and duties, it made Yor fall for Loid harder each time.

Eventually, the family headed out and to the park. Loid held Bond’s leash while Yor held Anya’s hand. Once at the park, Loid hesitated but let Bond off his leash and allowed him and Anya to play together. Yor stood with Loid, gently holding his arm, it didn’t bother Loid as it made them look like a real family- but if he’s going to be honest, he wished Yor was [YourName].

Things were going smoothly until there was a cry heard throughout the park, immediately Loid and Yor turned to where it was coming from and there sat a toddler. But not just any toddler, it was Lotte. Loid didn’t push Yor off, but he disconnected from Yor quickly and rushed to the child, gently kneeling to be Lotte’s height, Yor soon joining with Anya and Bond. “Oh dear..” Yor said, looking around, trying to find this toddler’s mother or nanny.

“Where’s your momma?” Loid gently asked the toddler, Lotte would wipe her face and recognize Loid and cling to him. “W-Work.” Lotte replied, so Loid assumed there would be a nanny somewhere looking for Lotte. Loid scooped the little one up, shaking his head, he couldn’t just ask people if they were looking for Lotte, that could easily lead to a kidnapping. So, looking over at Yor, Loid pulled out his phone and contacted [YourName].

Turns out, [YourName] was called into work for some paperwork and the neighbor’s teenage daughter was supposed to be looking after Lotte- but there was no sign of her. “I’ll be there a-s-a-p.” [YourName] said before hanging up, Yor looked a little confused as Loid put his phone away “I know her mother.. well.” Loid explained gently bouncing the small one in his arms.

Just five minutes later, [YourName] came rushing over, crying because the thought of her daughter being missing scared her. She brought Lotte into her arms before sobbing, and acting on instinct Loid brought [YourName] in for a hug too so the three of them were grouped together. Yor couldn’t help but watch and feel a bit jealous, she wanted the chemistry that was strung throughout the air when Loid hugged this stranger. Deep down, Yor knew there was more to the story but her love for Loid took over those thoughts.

Loid would finally disconnect from [YourName] and Lotte once his wife had calmed down. With her free hand, [YourName] wiped her tears and Loid smiled at her. Yor cleared her throat making Loid and [YourName] look over and it finally clicked, Yor wanted to be introduced. Loid didn’t exactly want to introduce his fake wife to his real wife, but he had to keep suspicions low. “[YourName]... This is, uh, my wife Yor and over there is our daughter Anya and dog, Bond.” Loid said, giving his wife an apologetic look.

[YourName] nodded her head slowly, offering her free hand after making sure it was dry. “I’m [YourName].” She said, Yor smiled happily when Loid called her his wife, shaking [YourName]’s hand. “It’s always nice to meet someone my husband knows!” Yor said cheerfully, and something in [YourName] broke a little, not being able to call Loid her husband or kiss him when she needed it hurt, and to know he was spending free time with the perfect, well-built family hurt a little more than she thought it would.

“I got to.. Uhm, go..” [YourName] said, spinning around and heading toward her car. “Wait! [YourName]!” Loid called out, but [YourName] ignored him as she rushed to her vehicle. The mother sat Lotte down into her car seat and sighed once she got into the driver's seat, She put her hands on the wheel and placed her head against her knuckles as she cried. She missed her husband dearly and she couldn’t take just being friends with Twilight. Even if it was just for a few moments, seconds, minutes.

Yor noticed a difference in Loid, he was trying to hide his hurt, anger, and confusion- but Yor could sense something was wrong. She didn’t want to directly ask him what was up, so she simply leaned against him which made Loid tense up. She noticed this, but decided to ignore it and hoped Loid found comfort in her ways of comforting him. The rest of the day at the park went smoothly, no other crying children separated from their mothers or babysitters were around, so Loid, Yor, Anya, and Bond headed back to the apartment.

Loid was silent for most of the night, only talking when spoken to. He made dinner for everyone, sat with them as they ate, and then put Anya to bed after she watched some spy shows. Yor was getting tired of the silence Loid was offering up, so she finally spoke up; “What’s wrong?” Yor asked finally to her husband. “It’s nothing.” Loid tried to reply, but Yor didn’t take that as an answer.

Loid finally looked at Yor, sighing with aggravation, “Fine, what’s wrong is I miss my wife and child.” he says scoffing. “What? You were with us all day, no need to miss us, Loid..” Yor explained, placing a hand on to his bicep, but Loid shook it off.

“No, my real wife and child.”

[aliaology]

NEVER GROW UP

summary: reader watched all of her younger brothers grow up and can’t help but remember

pairings: hughes brothers x older sister!reader

warnings: none

extra: readers birthday is in february! and also idk if all three brothers were in hs at the same time, because of where their birthdays fall, but lets just say if quinn was a senior, jack would be a junior and luke would be a freshie!! its all because of where quinns birthday falls, if his birthday was in like sept, i think he wouldve been out of hs by the time lukes a freshie but wtvr.

three year old you sat in the waiting room, in your grandfathers lap, as you waited for your dad to come out of the hospital room and take you in. it wasn’t a long wait, maybe because you were drowning out the sound of the wailing cries of a baby, focusing on your grandfathers book. not like you could read it anyways.

“honey, come here” you heard, your head snapping in the direction the voice came from. it was your father, waving you in.

a big smile lit on your face as you hopped off of your grandfathers lap and ran towards your dad. he grabbed your hand and quietly brought you in the room. your mom laid on the hospital bed, a bundle in her arms. your dad lifted you up and brought you to her.

“hi baby” ellen said. “this is your brother, this is quinn” she spoke.

your smile stayed on your face as your dad leaned you towards the baby. “gentle, okay?” you nodded.

your fingers grazed your newborn brother’s face, then his hand. his little fingers clutched yours. “hi baby” you whispered to him.

your mom chuckled. “baby, his name is quinn. can you said quinn?” she asked.

“ki—kinn” you smiled.

your mom ran a hand through your hair. “good job baby”

two days later, quinn was brought home. you were quiet when he was asleep, quiet because you were in his room watching him, making sure he was okay. you watched him breathe, making sure it looked normal, or at least— what you thought was normal.

you were there to protect him, even if you were only three. “honey..” you turned to the doorway. your father and mother stood there.

“its time to go to bed, lovie” your father said.

you frowned and looked back at your brother. his eyelids fluttered as he dreamed. you let out a sigh. you reach your hand through the bars and tuck his bundle just a little more under him.

you got up and ran to your room before running back in, holding some object up to your parents.

“do this please?” you spoke as best as you could.

jim smiled softly and took it from you. he brought it over to the outlet near quinn’s crib and plugged the nightlight in. you smiled and pressed a button, turning it on.

in their eyes, they knew you would be an amazing sister.

five year old you sat in the waiting room, next to your grandfather who held one year old (almost two) quinn on his lap. quinn giggled at whatever funny thing your grandfather did.

your father walked out of the room, walking to you guys. “you two ready to meet your new brother?” he asked.

you nodded with a smile, hopping out of your seat. quinn didn’t understand much, but he had a happy face nonetheless.

your dad picked up quinn and held your hand, bringing you to the room. your mom held a bundle, again. your dad picked you up with his free arm, and set you next to your mom. he held onto quinn, allowing the boy to look at his younger brother.

“hi loves, meet jack” ellen smiled.

you smile and carefully caress one of his cheeks, before going to his hand. just like quinn, his fingers clasped around yours.

“hi jacky” you whispered.

as soon as he was brought home, you went to his and quinns (now) shared room and made sure the nightlight was in there, along with your pillow and blanket that lied next to the crib and on the floor.

much like you did with quinn, when jack slept, you watched. watched to make sure he was gonna be okay. to protect him. but he wasn’t the only one you watched.

you now watched both of your little brothers. you made sure they were tucked in at night, made sure they had their pacifiers and made sure the night light was always on.

you would be asleep on the floor next to jack’s crib by the time your parents came to get you. they never moved you though, they knew being in there brought you a sense of peace. their only concern was how you were able to sleep on the floor so peacefully.

as time went on, jack and quinn were already so different. jack was more vocal, more loud, a little more annoying, but you still adored him.

as he grew slightly more, he seemed to find everything funny. literally, everything. from you snapping your fingers in his or quinns face, to you even just holding him, he’d burst into giggles.

quinn on the other hand, he was quiet, calm, he liked to sleep when next to you. he was always at peace.

even though you were five, you’d make sure they would stay like that. happy, and never have regrets.

seven year old you sat in the waiting room. three (almost four!) year old quinn sat squished in your seat with you, and two year old jack sat on your lap. your grandfather sat next to you guys, waiting for your dad to get you all.

when he did, jack jumped out of his seat and bolted it for the room. you got out of your seat and helped quinn too before following your father.

jack was already on the bed by the time you got in, sitting on your moms legs as he looked at the baby in wonder. your father picked you up, setting you next to your mom, before picking quinn up. the family looked at the newest hughes.

“this is luke.” your mom smiled.

“loo—luuke” quinn spoke, slightly struggling, but getting it. you looked at your brother, caressing his face just like you did to both quinn and jack. then you grabbed his hand. he also grabbed yours.

“mama?” jacks voice rang out.

ellen looked at him. “is that?” jack pointed at the wrist band. he clearly wanted to know what it was.

“it means im a patient here baby, soon it will be off and we can go home” jack smiled at “go home” and clapped.

once luke was home, it was a cycle repeat. this time though, quinn was no longer in the room. he had his own room, right next to yours. before you’d go to bed, you would go to his room and make sure he was asleep.

you were able to get your mom to buy a nightlight that was the exact same as the one you had originally. you put the replica in jack and lukes room, giving quinn the original.

it was next to his bed, illuminating his face.

as soon as you knew he was all set, you tucked him in slightly more, and placed a small kiss on his forehead. then, you left to jack and lukes room.

jack was sound asleep, snoring quietly. you tucked him in too, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

you then went over to luke, who peacefully slept in his bundle. you sat down next to his crib and watched him, making sure he was okay. when you deemed it long enough, you lied down, on the floor, and fell asleep.

seventeen year old you sat on your bed, listening to thirteen year old (almost fourteen) quinn rant about how he was scared for his first day of freshman year. you pushed your book to the side and grabbed his shoulders.

“look at me, if any kid tries to mess with you, you tell me, alright? im not gonna let some weirdo mess with my little brother.” you told.

quinn nodded. you removed your hands from his shoulders, looking him in the eyes. “quinny, can you do me a favor?” you asked.

“whats up?”

you sighed, “when jack gets into highschool next year, watch out for him, okay? and then when lukes in highschool, watch for him too. you hear me? or make jack do it, but i want you to look out for them because i wont be able to, okay? im gonna do my best to help you this year too.” you told.

quinn nodded. “okay y/n/n” you smiled and brought your brother into a hug. “love you quinny”

“love you too sissy”

you’re now nineteen, quinns suddenly sixteen, jacks fourteen, and lukes twelve. you’re home for a week before you have to go all the way back to new jersey so you can go straight back to princeton.

jack groaned as ellen went to start the car. “why cant i walk there?” he whined.

you rolled your eyes. “shut up jack, if you walk there, you wont make it in time.”

“but all my friends are walking!” he complained.

“jack shut up, you can’t do anything about it so stop complaining. you’re gonna get there on time, and be warm while doing so. its cold here, you will be fine! plus, do you really want to carry your large bag full of hockey gear in the blistering cold? probably not!” you explained.

he crossed his arms and stomped towards the front door. “god i cannot wait to move out on my own.”

you sighed and grabbed his arm before he could leave. “look jack, listen to me. mom doesnt have to do this for you, you know that right? but shes not gonna make her son walk in the damn cold. and jack don’t make her drop you off around the block either. you need to understand that shes your mom, she’s getting older, she just wants to spend time with you.” you told him.

you could hear him sigh under his breath. “im sorry” he spoke. you ruffled his hair. “dont apologize, bub, just go out to the car, hang out with her until she gets you to the rink, and then have fun at practice. ill be picking you up.”

jack grinned before running out to the car.

“hes so annoying” quinn groaned. “tell me about it” luke retorted. “i had to room with him my entire life and i still do!”

“oh boohoo” quinn replied.

“luke, jack tells me all the time that you’re the annoying one! dancing around in pjs before school starts.” you laugh, walking over to your brothers.

“whatever” he grumbled.

you chuckled and ruffled his hair. “dont ever change, bud.”

luke sat on your bed, head on your chest as he cries. fourteen year old luke was crying over hockey and his coach. twenty-one year old you was holding him close. “let it out, lukey.”

he sniffled and cried, tears staining your shirt. “am i really that bad at hockey?” he asked.

you pulled him away from you and held him by his shoulders. “god no, lukey. you’re fucking incredible at hockey! you’re gonna go somewhere with your talent!”

“but coach rhines said im useless.” he spoke.

your brows furrowed. luke wasn’t a crier, so this was hard on not just him, but you as well. “you aren’t useless, luke. coach rhines is useless because what the fuck does he do besides sit on his ass and yell at you and your team? nothing! remember that, lukey. jesus, is this your school coach?” you asked.

“no— hes the rec coach” luke wiped his eyes.

“well, throw that jersey away because after i have a talk with him, you’re switching teams.” you spoke. “i dont care if i have to pay for it or whatever, you aren’t staying with him.”

“okay” luke whispered.

you frowned and grabbed the boy, tackling him into a hug. his laughs erupted throughout the room as your legs wrapped around his, keeping him in your hold.

your fingers tickled his sides. he laughed and tried to move away. “ill stop once you say you’re one of the best hockey players ever!” you laughed.

“b—but sidney crosby!” he laughed harder as you tickled him more.

“okay okay! im one of the best hockey players ever!” he spoke, expecting you to stop. you didn’t.

“gotta say it like you mean it kid!” you laughed.

after yelling it a few times and laughter cutting him off each time, you stopped. you both lied on your bed, your legs draped over his. “movie night?”

“yes please!”

summer vacation. all three brothers, and then your parents, would be here soon. five minutes. you walked into your childhood room. the walls still had your pages clipped to them.

your guitar lied in the corner of your room.

you took mental pictures, knowing most of this stuff would be leaving with you for when you moved into your apartment. you took mental pictures of it all.

you sat down on your bed. the only sound in the entire house was the creak of the bed frame. you remember sitting here and being able to hear when your father walked up the front porch steps, signaling he was home. he was the only one who used the front door, along with jack.

you remember this room almost being the meeting room with your brothers when you were here. quinn coming in for advice. jack coming in because he liked a girl. luke coming in because he felt like he was bad at hockey.

you also remember being able to hear either of your brothers blasting their favorite songs because the walls are that thin.

but now, you sat here realizing that at some point, all of this would be gone. no more house, no more memories, no more family.

you sat on your bed, crying. crying until you heard footsteps on the front porch and jack laugh at something he said.

you wiped your tears and walked down stairs. you walked to the front door and opened it as your dad was about to unlock it.

“in case you forgot, dad, no one used the front door” you smiled.

jim grinned and pulled you into a hug. “theres my favorite daughter”

“im your only daughter”

“so it works!”

vancouver, canada. a place home to the canucks, the team quinn played for. he stood next to you in the empty apartment that was a few doors down from his. jack and luke went back outside, going to grab a few more boxes of yours.

your parents would be flying in tomorrow to see you.

“vancouvers colder than i thought.” you told, voice in the middle of cracking.

quinn looked at you. “whats wrong?”

you shrugged him off. “its nothing, quinny. im okay, really.”

quinn scoffed. “tell me whats wrong, sissy. let me be here for you this time. you were always there for me, so its my turn. what is wrong?”

you sniffle before starting to cry. “i wish i never grew up quinny. god i miss when you, jack and luke were little. i miss being little. having no responsibilities, no regrets, being happy all the time. and i dont want to grow up anymore. i want to stop and stay young forever because the cost of growing up is losing you guys.”

quinn grabbed you and hugged you tight. he let you cry into his shoulder, and soon enough, jack and luke joined the hug too. you didn’t want to grow up. not anymore.

ynhughes

liked by jackhughes, _quinnhughes and 287,208 others.

ynhughes wont let nobody hurt you, wont let no one break your heart. and even though you want to, please try and never grow up 🤍

tagged: jackhughes, _quinnhughes, lhughes_06

comments are limited.

jackhughes love u sissy 🤍

ynhughes 🤍

lhughes_06 i love u sis even tho we have the biggest age gap ur still my role model

ynhughes literal tears i hate u

lhughes_06 ❤️

_quinnhughes always will be the best sibling, sissy ❤️❤️

jackhughes hurts that this is true 😞

lhughes_06 so true 💔

ynhughes ☹️☹️❤️❤️

trevorzegras fr best sister ever i mean no one can make pancakes the way you do

jackhughes u ruined the vibe gtfo

trevorzegras sorry ☹️😞

i love this imagine sm