#the only ones I ever see available have to be imported and I don't wanna tangle with that can o worms

[answrs]

osteology museum taunting me in the gift shop with a holy grail specimen when I just used all my saved up fun money at the taxidermy con last week :')

[saintslewis]

“𝐂𝐔𝐅𝐅 𝐈𝐓”

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 — 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

˖ ࣪⭑ pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc

˖ ࣪⭑ summary: didn’t lewis say he’s a professional dancer? let’s test it out!

˖ ࣪⭑ warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions (the norm), links to posts, typos

˖ ࣪⭑ wc: 4.7k

˖ ࣪⭑ saint’s team radio!: hi babies….SORRY Y’ALL LMAO. i clearly skipped the 10 day mark but that’s okay! that’s why i made it longer for y’all to enjoy! I hope you enjoy and once again, tags are down below and let me know if you want to be tagged! and pls do click on the links to see the visuals, it’s important! (you can do it after)

pls like, comment and reblog!

renaissance:the series masterlist • previous chapter

general masterlist

-

The FaceTime ring chimed as Nadia adjusted her phone on the dashboard of her car, her cradled body in the driver's seat as she sniffled and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

"Yo. What's-" Lewis made sure to look at his phone correctly to see the sight before him. "Nads? Are you okay? Where are you?" Lewis asked, slowing the car down a bit.

"I'm in the school parking lot with some pastries next to me." She sniffed again before continuing. "Like I don't know if I can even go in there after our posts because those kids are ruthless and also these pastries are so good and this car is giving me so much stress and you're so pretty and i can't get raye tickets and this wig didn't wanna lay this morning and jeez, it's just so much and i'm just a girl." Nadia rambled as she hid her face in her hands, not even looking at her phone.

"Sorry to call you so early but I had no one else to call so I just decided to call my husband. Do you wanna see the pastries? This girl gave them to me for free in the bakery." She spoke, tucking her hair behind her ear and grabbing the pink box to show Lewis, not missing how big his smile was.

"What?"

"Nads, do you wanna talk about it? There's a lot to unpack." He asked, his face holding a smug expression as he watched her place the box down and give him a look.

"No thanks, we can keep everything in the bag. Anyways, I'm the only one in the parking lot and I've got a class in 25 minutes but I don't wanna see my colleagues." She said, looking out of her window to see if anyone was lurking around. "Where you headed?" She snapped her attention back to him.

"Brackley. Got a meeting with the team for upgrades." He said, eventually speeding up the car and she nodded. "Okay don't go quiet on me. Have you checked your socials yet?" Lewis asked the girl. "Nope, I muted the app after Rihanna called me sexy." She replied with a big smile on her face, making him jokingly roll his eyes. "I'm assuming you did the same?" She asked and it was his turn to nod.

"So just to make you aware, I'm free on Wednesday after 12 so if your friends are available maybe we can meet them then?" Nadia suggested, packing her stuff up as she sat properly in the car seat. "Uh I'm sure they'll be cool with that. We can have a thing at my place, like a game night or something. Also why are you leaving work early that day?" He asked, stopping at a red light and put all his attention on her.

"School's are closing for like two weeks." She answered.

"Well then, have you ever been to Miami?"

"No..." she gave him a side eye as he continued to drive, the engine roaring.

"Well, we're going there next week for the Grand Prix so do you want to go? Then afterwards we leave for Malibu."

"But what if I wanted to watch Love Island during that weekend?" She muttered, making the man giggle.

"You can watch Love Island in Miami." He smiled, seeing her jokingly roll her eyes. "Fine. But wait, who do I need to speak to for like flight tickets and race stuff?" She mentioned.

"Tia'll have everything ready." He assured her, kind of surprised at how willingly she agreed to his proposal, something he had been nervously thinking about the whole morning.

"Alright then, pookie bear. Talk later, I have to face those ruthless critics i call my kids." She picked up her phone and did a little pose, to which Lewis didn't hesitate to take a Facetime photo of. They both waved at each other cutely before hanging up.

"You're the flyest babe on the planet, you can do this." Nadia hyped herself as she gathered her things and got out of her car.

The hallways were empty, the silence gnawing at her as she glanced through some doors to see students either sleeping on their desks or actually focused on what the teacher was saying.

Continuously taking deep breaths as she got closer and closer to her designated classroom, she could hear her Year 12 students talking about whatever gossip was going around the school. Goosebumps slightly covered her skin as she held her arm out to touch the door handle, her conscience screaming at her to turn around and drive home just to stress about this very situation.

Eventually gaining the confidence, she opened the door and it was as if the world stood still. All her students turned around to look at their frightened yet fashionable teacher slowly walk to her desk as she tried her hardest to not make any eye contact with their smug faces.

Placing her things down onto her little shelf next to her organised desk, she flipped her hair a little and walked to the front of her desk, leaning her whole body weight against it.

"Now before you lot start with your questions, just know I wasn't ready to be out there yet and truly, I wanted to tell you guys a while ago but now was a good time for the..launch." She announced and watched as her students continued to smirk at her, her heartbeat rising as the silence grew more and more.

"Can we see the ring?" A student, Daniela, asked loudly as she walked closer to her teacher. The minute Nadia extended her shaky hand out, they all came flocking to get a closer look at the diamond ring.

Eventually settling the class down with the fear that the Headmaster could just pop in, everyone was seated as Nadia was racking her brain on how she could sell this marriage to teenagers who could definitely see right through her.

"So how did you two meet then? You mentioned that you were from Stevenage like a while back." Vicky, the class leader, asked sitting in the front row and maintained eye contact with Nadia the whole time.

"Well it was our parents actually. They're all really close but Lewis and I never built that bond for all these years. It took a dinner invite from his parents for us to really fancy each other. We properly met the year I started teaching here." Nadia was cheesing, proud of the story she came up with that was half-true.

She could tell that their gears were turning in their heads, making comments to each other as if they were judges on a panel. Nadia hadn't expected the silence that would follow after each of her answers but it was quite unsettling.

"Since you said you weren't seeing anybody and you weren't the least bit interested in Formula one, how'd you end up with thee Sir Lewis Hamilton?" One of her male students asked from the back, Nathan. "I'm still very clueless about that sport and that's why I wanted you guys to teach me today. Can I count on you guys to help?" Nadia asked, pulling her chair closer to her desk as she clasped her hands together to look around her classroom to capture all the excited faces.

"James, where's the slideshow?!" "Ha! Give me my money." "We used to pray for times like this!" "Wait till Miss hears about brocedes!"

Those were amongst the shouts from her students, reminding her that she couldn't leave them alone even if she wanted.

Interrupting her train of thought as her students scrambled around the classroom, her phone buzzed with two notifications following each other. Opening her phone and heading for iMessages, she audibly gasped when she saw what Lewis had just sent her.

"What are you blushing at, Miss?" A kid pointed out, Nadia not even realising she was smiling quite hard at her phone.

"Do you want to teach me about F1 or should we go back to the French Revolution?" She sassed, making the class groan as they all somewhat surrounded a desk and whiteboard for her F1 lesson.

-

WEDNESDAY.

Holding the tub of cookies close to her, she thought back to the previous days and what her students informed her about the sport. As much as she can admit that she had forgotten most things they told her, a few thoughts lingered in her mind throughout the days, her emotions were on all time high for the man she married. Not wanting to come to one sided conclusions, Nadia decided to address these issues with Lewis when the time was right.

It doesn't help that she, once again, went down a rabbit hole of Lewis to see what his fans were like and how they thought of him from their perspective.

A knock from her front door snapping her out of her head, standing to open it up. Lewis stood there dressed ever so casually with a graphic tee and shorts paired with high top Jordans. Nadia would never say it out loud but seeing him wearing a cap, be it in a picture or right in front of her, brought slight butterflies to her stomach.

"The person who handles security downstairs is really looking out for you. Also, hello Nads." He smiled as he brought his hands forward to show a pink box with croissants inside, Nadia's heart melting, he remembered that she said she likes this specific bakery when they first met.

"Lewis, you didn't have to. Thank you." She said patting him on his exposed arm, wanting to keep her hand there for a little longer. "Hello to you too. Why do you say that about the guards?" She asked, taking the box of pastries from his hand and cradling it close to her, walking into her small kitchen to place them next to the flowers from the weekend.

"Well, when I drove in, he warned me about all the people who came to the entrance overnight. Apparently, they would go from building to building looking...for you." He said, slowly closing the front door as he walked into her home.

The goosebumps were very evident, her tattoos eerily coming to life with fear. "O-oh. Tia did warn me about this, just never expected this so early on." Nadia nervously smiled, the multiple locks on her door not enough to make her feel safe. "Hey hey, it's okay. I know this is overwhelming. Would you be more comfortable with a few of my security guys to be around until you make your moving decisions?" He asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. Seeing how scared she was and how she seemed to be overthinking it, he desperately wanted to change the subject.

Choosing to not answer verbally, she nodded and gave the man a small smile as she lifted herself off her kitchen counter. "Let's get the negatives out," Nadia sighed out. "Let me get my shoes and phone then we can get to your place in time. You can wait on the couch for now." She turned around, looking straight  ahead as she headed for her bedroom.

Taking the invitation, Lewis made his way to the comfortable looking grey couch. Beneath his feet sat a custom carpet in the shape of the infamous Murakami flower logo, a small smile etched on his face. The living room filled with all types of scented candles and incense sticks, two plants on either side of the tv stand. A full length mirror hung on the wall right in between the kitchen and living room, the arch of it filled with star stickers. A few vinyls were plastered onto the wall behind him with something written underneath each one and a custom piece of art sat in between the black discs, a painted picture of two people hugging with matching NY caps on. The little signature at the bottom spelling out 'Rea' and tiny initials signing 'R + N'.

Oh, the guilt sunk in quite quickly in those few moments as he observed a small part of her home. That's exactly what it was to Nadia, her home. Purely hers. Everything in his sight clearly held a special significance to the woman and because of his situations, he was taking that away from her. Her 'best teacher' pillows sat neatly on the couch, definitely gifted to her by her students that she loved. The picture frames and polaroids sat nicely on the side table, Nadia's smile wide and bright as she had stood with family and posed wildly with her friends.

His scandalous decisions had roped in a woman who looked like she had finally found her own way in life and he was taking that away from her. Everything she had worked for would be reduced to just being known as his wife. The thought making him cringe as he could picture the headlines.

Nadia fixed her shoelaces quickly as she found Lewis sitting on her couch staring at nothing, his arm sat high on the edge of the couch. "Lew? Are you okay?" The woman's soft voice went into his ear, his head turning to see her ready to go. The Barcelona jersey untucked, her jean shorts displaying the very few tattoos she had on her legs and the gold anklet contrasting with the stark white appearance of her Air forces.

"I know we're about to leave but do you mind if we talk a bit?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the couch and clasping his hands together. "What? You about to divorce me already?" Nadia joked but seeing him give the smallest smile only for it to fade away slightly scared her. Going to sit next to him, she sat one of her pillows over her lap and leaned on her elbows to hear what he had to say.

"Are you truly sure about this marriage? I feel like everything's just hitting you all at once and I feel bad. It feels as if I'm taking away your independence all because of stupid things people have said about me. I looked around and you already made a life for yourself and I don't want to do anything to hurt you." Lewis confessed, hands constantly fidgeting with the rings he had on. He was so sure that he would see her agree with him but seeing her downward smile surprised him.

"We already signed the papers, Lew, and it's going to sting you like a bee if we even think of letting this go. From my perspective, we're two people who are building a friendship who just happen to be married. I still am anxious about leaving my life behind but one thing I won't allow for myself is to be deduced to be someone's wife, no offence." She stated, seeing him nod.

Breathing in a little before continuing, she sat a bit comfortably on the couch facing him. "This is a very weird situation, one that not a lot of people go through but we're learning and that's the cool part. You and I have lived incredibly different lives and there's a reason why our lives are intertwining so much. I just ask for some time to figure out how to live in the limelight, right now I'm grateful for the journey. Except for the ysl heels, those bitches are uncomfortable." Nadia laughed a little, ending her sentence with a joke. He giggled along, his eyes crinkling with the left eye closing a bit more than the other. It was such an adorable sight to see.

"I appericiate the honesty, Nads. It's something that's been on my mind for quite some time and to hear you voice it out lifts some weight off my shoulders." Lewis chuckled, the sight of her smile was one he wanted to keep in his mind forever.

"Glad I could help, pookie bear. Tell me, do your friends like cookies? I made a bunch yesterday because I was stress baking." She asked, standing up and walking towards the kitchen. The nickname clearly sticking to him but he didn't mind, it was special.

"It would be weird if they did not like cookies. They smell good too." He complimented, unconsciously jingling the car keys in his hands. "Thank you, also made them vegan friendly." Nadia smiled, picking up the plastic tub and headed for the front door. Lewis couldn't control his eyes as they fell to her retreating figure, little peaks of more tattoos showed under the hems of her shorts. Taking a breath in, he walked towards her as she fiddled with her keys with the front door open.

-

"Oh my god, Tia sent a list of people she picked out for my team." Nadia gasped, tugging on the red seatbelt of the Range Rover a bit while going through her texts with Tia to see random faces with all their details laid on text.

"Really? That was fast." He said, one hand on the steering wheel with the other resting on his leg. He turned into an avenue, the car's engine roaring through the quiet street as they passed by homes that were hidden behind large gates and trees.

The pair spent the whole 35 minute journey just jamming out to their scarily similar music taste and getting a few snacks for the game night that'll be held, Nadia not realising that she's actually becoming famous because multiple people recognised her and asked for pictures. Once she got back into the SUV, she laughed about the situation until tears came out.

"They all look around my age or a bit younger, oh this is some scary shit." She joked as she looked through everyone's photos, to which Tia then said that Nadia will meet everyone in Miami before Lewis' media duties.

"And when are you meeting them?" Lewis asked, slowing the car down and turning into a driveway before stopping in front of the large gate. "Miami" She muttered. Pressing a button somewhere, the gates opened to quite the driveway with the motor court right in front of the large modern home. The beat of the song completely changed as the house came into view, Nadia taken aback at the visuals in front of her and she completely understood why the trees were hiding such a masterpiece behind them.

In the motor court, there stood a black Mercedes Benz amg gle coupe and an arctic grey Porsche 992 Turbo S outside of the garage looking fresh out the dealership. "My God..." Nadia muttered as she covered her mouth at everything she was seeing. Lewis definitely loved seeing Nadia astonished and excited at everything he's shown her so far.

Parking the Range Rover next to the Porsche, the two got out of the car and grabbed their belongings along with the snacks they bought earlier. "Is anyone else here yet?" She asked, only carrying her tub of cookies whilst Lewis carried everything else.

"Nope, just us. Was thinking of showing you around the house, just to get used to it." He smiled and slightly giggled at the side eye she gave him. "Now now, pookie bear. I still have to decide. But let's put the stuff inside." She smiled at him and watched as he opened the door with his fingerprint.

The moment she entered the massive house, her breath was taken away by the beauty of the foyer alone.

"So which floor do you wanna start with?" He asked, leading her into the living area, the kitchen space looking like it came out straight from the magazine. Looking to her left, she looked at the abnormally large garden with so many chill spots and what looked to be a tennis court.

"And this is all yours?" Nadia was stunned to say the least. The amount of luxury surrounding her was staggering and she wanted to hide within herself, scared to even comment until Lewis answered her question.

"Well, it's ours now that we signed on the dotted line."

And it's safe to say that the cookies surprisingly weren't dropped onto the floor.

-

Walking outside the home to marvel at the creation before her, Lewis followed right behind and watched her take it all in. "Are you able to take one more surprise? I think the closet did it for you." He grinned. His hands were behind his back as always and she looked back at him with a smile.

"You've done so much for me already, Lew. What could possibly top the Harrods trip." She asked, hands on hips while slightly joking. His smile grew even more as the butterflies in his stomach reacted to the nickname.

"How about a car? Would that be better than Harrods?" He asked, mischievously putting his finger on his chin as if he's thinking. Nadia's eyes widened for the upteenth time, her hands flying to cover her mouth.

"Are you fucking with me right now? Lewis, I swear if you're joking, I'm going to kick you in the ass." She exclaimed as the man held out different keys in his hand, the smile never leaving his face.

"Lewis whatever your middle name is Hamilton, are you serious? I'm going to fucking cry, oh my god." Nadia's voice was already quivering but she refused for her tears to fall.

"Wait no don't, you said that they would ruin your lashes." Lewis genuinely wanted to laugh at her reaction but he felt so happy that he could do this for her and hopefully get her used to it.

"First it was the Raye tickets then the croissants then an entire car? Not to mention the new shit I got. Oh this is gonna be so fun." Finally uncovering her mouth, they both smiled at each other then laughed. "Let's go look at it, Nads, before everyone gets here." He suggested and like lightning, the girl was already standing next to the car and was eagerly waiting for it to open.

-

"My God, Lewis! You didn't tell me she was so beautiful. Like crazy beautiful." Currently, Nadia was being cradled in the arms of one of Lewis' closest friends, Amara.

Standing in the entryway of the house, everyone exchanged greetings and hugs as the friend group hadn't seen each other in a long time. Moments before, the pair watched as cars rolled in the motor way as each of his friends climbed out of their cars hyped as ever, carrying different things in their hands.

" 'Mara, if i could kindly have Nads back, I can finally introduce you guys." Lewis jokingly rolled his eyes at his friend who didn't want to let go but eventually did.

"Guys, this is Nadia. Nads, this is my crew. We've got Miles," He pointed at the tall man with the brightest smile she's ever seen. "Amara, who's cradled you just now," The woman waved to Nads who definitely returned the energy.

"Charlotte, who threatened to sue if she didn't meet you," Lewis then pointed to the woman standing next to Amara, she was as stunning as ever. "Daniel or 'Spinz' if you will." Another man smiled at her, tilting his cap like a cowboy. "Andrew, and right next to him is Natalia." He ended off by pointing at the two right next to Daniel.

"Nice to meet you all, I'm Nadia as you know." She shyly greeted back, never the one to introduce herself as much. Everyone spoke at the time, patching the words together to say that they're delighted to meet her.

"Uh, we've got snacks in the kitchen and the games are set up in the living room already." Nadia suggested as she pointed behind her, not even realising that Lewis' arm was around her shoulders the whole time.

"Oh please lead the way." Natalia piped up as walked over to hold Nadia's hand and walk to the kitchen, the rest of the woman following suit and immediately started complimenting the woman.

Deciding that they would tell their friend groups the truth about their marriage, Nadia and Lewis happily agreed to their plan and it most definitely seemed to work.

"God damn, your parents chose good, man. The Barcelona jersey and she's just a teacher? Can your parents hook me up because damn." Daniel spoke up, shocked at Nadia's appearance knowing that his friend barely explained how she looks.

"And don't even get me started on the tattoos, Spinz. I'll call my dad for you though!" Lewis laughed as he walked away, the rest of his mates laughing, walking towards the living area.

An hour into the game night, Nadia and Lewis had won both boards games, celebrating as if their favourite team won the league. The atmosphere was light, conversations flowing as music played in the background, well that was until 'Love Is Wicked' by Brick and Lace started playing and that's when the nostalgia hit.

It was as if everyone lost their minds, immediately clearing the space to dance. Somehow, Lewis and Nadia found sunglasses and started dancing together. Amara being the friend who films everything, filmed the two having the time of their lives. Lewis trying to copy her dance moves whilst they both sung incoherent lyrics to the song, laughter spreading while the songs played out loud.

The song switched to 'Work' by Rihanna and the girls went crazy. Moving the party to the outside porch for fresh air and more space, the well light outside lights lit quite well. The girls were moving the hips to the beat, shaking ass nah chance they get. Nadia being the dancer here, just wowed the girls even more, hyping her up so much that the boys included themselves in the dance and they eventually created an unforgettable night hanging out and laughing until the moon rose.

"So, how was it?" Lewis asked, laying next to Nadia on a blanket on the grass. The rest of the crew were laying on the other blankets across the large backyard, resting after an intense game of hide n seek. "I haven't had this much fun in quite a while. It felt nice to feel like kids, just having a good time. Once again, thank you. For this, the Porsche that i still can't believe is mine, even the ring that I stare at all day." Nadia expressed, lifting her hand to look at the ring once more.

"If you need or want anything, don't hesitate to let me know and I'm very serious, Nadia." Lewis said, turning his head to see her staring up at the night sky.

"You're bluffing." She scoffed until she turned to see his face, a raised eyebrow as he stared at her. "Anything?" She asked.

"Anything." He scrunched his nose a little, the diamond studs glistening under the moonlight.

"New wig? With a new bracelet?" She turned her entire body to face him, leaning her head in her hand.

"Done." He smiled. "Although that was severely underwhelming, bruv." He said, turning on his back once.

The two shared a loud laugh afterwards, their laughs travelling to the moon that watch over them.

-

taglist: @non-stop-imagines @folkloresthings @tispys-blog @userlando @lorarri @thisismeracing @thatsdemko @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @littlelizzies-world @httpsserene @apenasumlug4r @youre-sooooo-funny @eddiesbitch83 @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @sunfairyy @roseseraj @vsfavs @goldenleclerc @mistruscity

(if your blog is blank, that means tumblr couldn’t find you! :( I’m sorry!)

dividers by: @cafekitsune

pics: pinterest and ig

Nadia’s fc: @/unclewaffles on ig!

[smnthchrstn]

can I please request austin butler for the prompt comforting after a panic attack: I can’t I can’t and/or you never thought your presence would soothe them - thank you <3

yes, you certainly can! thank you for asking and reading. <3

grounding you | Austin Butler x reader

notes: wc is 686. your boyfriend, austin helps ground you after a major anxiety attack. tw for anxiety/panic episodes

Your heart pounded in your chest. Each beat felt like a wave crashing against your ribcage. You couldn't catch your breath and nothing was helping. You were somewhere around the world - far, far away from home and visiting your boyfriend. He was at work. He was busy doing important things and filming for an upcoming movie. Your hands shook as you tried to steady yourself, but you simply couldn't. You heard a knock at the door and couldn't even move your head to look up. You willed yourself not to pass out from the immense anxiety that you were experiencing for seemingly no reason.

"Hey - don't wanna scare you. Just forget my bag -".

He stopped in the doorway, his brow furrowing and a look of concern over his face. "Baby, are you okay?" he asked, although he knew you were anything but. He'd dealt with this all his life, he knew all about the anxiety attacks, the masking, the breakdowns. He knew about waking up with a pulse so fast that you thought you'd go into cardiac arrest. He knew about the ticks and triggers that others without anxiety couldn't quite fathom. You tried your best to breathe, but ultimately failed. He darted over to you on the bed and took a seat beside you. "Shh," Austin whispered, rubbing your back gently in a small concentric circles. "Baby, hey - listen to me, meet my eyes," he instructed, his raspy and deep voice commanding you to listen. He put a finger under your chin and moved your head so that your eyes would meet his. "Hey. You're here. I'm here," he reminded you. "Feel, feel the bed. Feel my hands," he said, holding his hands out in front of you. He took your hands in his large hands and rubbed circles against the back of your hands. "Smell, smell the daisies in the corner of the room." He glanced at the bouquet of daisies he had gotten for you the day before. "Hear, hear my voice. Hear my breathing," Austin reminded you, taking a deep breath. "See, see my chest rise and fall," he said, taking a few more deep breaths so you couldn't miss it. "Taste, taste the cherry lip gloss," he spoke, knowing you always had it on. You managed to lip your lips. Austin saw the subtle movement of your tongue and brought you in close to his chest, holding you protectively. You began to cry softly, so tired of all the mental health frustrations you'd been dealing with. You saw therapists, you'd taken the medicine and nothing seemed to give your mind a break from the constant nagging and worrying about things that turned out to be nothing. "Baby," he whispered, stroking your hair. "Come back to me. Come back down to earth. It's only us." You closed your eyes, trying to follow his voice. Austin took one of your hands and led it to his chest. You could feel the mostly steady thump of his heart against your hand and like clockwork it grounded you.

You took a sharp breath and opened your eyes, beginning to cough a little. Your lungs hadn't been able to have proper air in thirty minutes. It was one of the longest anxiety attacks you'd ever endured. "Austin," you whispered. "I - I'm so sorry that I'm like this," you began, your hands shaking uncontrollably over his chest. "Babe, baby, hey. Look at me," he said, his crystal blue eyes meeting yours again. "How many times have you had to help me like this? Countless. Countless, babe. Please don't worry about a thing, I understand completely," he assured you, placing his hand over yours. "I'm just glad I could be here when you needed me. I know I'm not always the most available." You shook your head slightly, beginning to regain your breath. "You're busy, but thank you for staying with me during this. I don't know what I'd do without you," you replied gently. "Of course, my love." He paused to run his fingers through your hair. "There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be than grounding you."

[fudgelling-away]

You are my favourite sans person, so i wanna ask you, what do you think his singing voice would sound like??? I don't know if it would be similar to his speech which I imagine is like a deeper baritone sort of thing, OR, he's one of those dudes who sounds drastically different depending on what he's doing.

he's sexy either way though🤫🤫

I've been thinking about this ask for the past several days 😳

That is such a sweet thing to say!!! Thank you for telling me this, I appreciate you reaching out so much!

---------------------------

To answer your question, I think Sans would be very skilled in modulating his voice.

I imagine him being an expert in communication - that means not only having an uncanny ability to read your face like an open book, but also being able to masterfully control his own expression and the message that his voice and his body language send.

(note: this has nothing to do with controlling emotions, that's a whole another topic)

That's also why his ability to lie is straight up scary. This man could sell you the most otherwordly ideas in a believable way and you would never know.

Sans is scary. The power he wields IS scary, and I do not mean piercing bones. He's one scary little cookie and I love him so much-

Also, isn't it amazing that he never uses those talents to abuse others? We as the Players commit atrocities and treat the in-game world like our playground. There are also all these other characters who misuse their strength and influence in a destructive, careless way. And on the other side there is Sans. Intelligent, powerful, both in battle and in soft skills.

He is so- ah, you know what I mean?! He could, but he doesn't! He's got all the abilities necessary to become the scariest predator ever seen, and he chooses not to.

But I digress.

HAVING SAID ALL THAT, I think he would be a very good singer in his natural vocal range.

As I have mentioned before, he can read you very well. That means he recognizes each tiny change in your voice. In the game we can also see the way his text speech changes, many times, in different ways. It, of course, is not THAT important - we are discussing headcanons anyway ♡ But I really like that about him, too.

I don't see anything stopping him from using all that knowledge and talent to sing well (if he wanted to).

---------------------------

I'd love to share with you who is my voice for Sans, but I can't. He actually is a singer. I have never seen him linked to Sans in any way whatsoever, so I really don't want to put his name out there.

But that's such a good voice... Oh man...

It's deep, of course, but with a totally unique timbre. I have never heard any voice similar to it, and it's so... It's so pleasant to my ears! It's smooth, and ahhh I can't explain it. It has got that special something... Those undertones that feel and taste like SANS. That relaxed, though positive and attentive manner of speech. Ah. I am obsessed with it.

And I have found it by a total accident. Several months ago I was driving, minding my own business, there was radio playing in the background, and at one point they started to play an old song from the 1980s.

30 seconds in and I'm like, oh shit. No.

1 minute in and I am starting to sweat.

No.

no

no no no-

YEEEEEESSS!

[IMAGINE: A STREAM OF HAPPY EXPLETIVES]

That was an epiphany.

The feeling was euphoric.

SANS

sans sans

ASDDASDASFSSASA

I have no memory of the rest of the drive, but THAT VOICE.

I came back home. I looked up the radio station on the internet. I checked what they played an hour earlier.

And I found out who it actually was.

Immediately I went searching for some recorded interviews and yesss, there they were, perfectly available on youtube...

I spend a couple of hours every week listening to those interviews while I am working or drawing. That voice is ingrained in my brain now. That's my Sans' voice.

I am so sorry I can't show it to you.

--------------------------- Let me know what YOU think! ♡

I love to read different headcanons and ideas.

[intimacyequalsdeath]

Bubz's Slasher Fictober Apple Crumble NSFW Alphabets Day 17: Jack Torrance

Day 17 is here! Not much to say today besides the usual thank yous and such so I'll keep this nice and short and hope you all enjoy!.

Notes: Minors DNI, NSFW, Smut.

A is for Aftercare (What they're like after sex):

He'll get up to run you a bath but fully expect him to go back to bed, He'll clean you up or at least help you if you ask but he also likes to just let you handle it by yourself and relax in the bath for a while.

B is for Body Part (Favorite on them and their partner):

He'd pick his brain as his favorite body part, but he doesn't wanna seem cocky or cliché so if he had to pick another one it would probably be his arms (The gif is exhibit A) he's strong and he knows it and it's something he's proud of.

On you he likes your eyes, you're his muse when it comes to his writing and getting inspiration and he always tells you how he finds no greater inspiration then when he looks into your eyes.

C is for Cum (Anything to do with cum):

He doesn't want anymore kids, like at all so never inside though if you don't have the proper equipment or just have no risk to getting pregnant he'll think about it. He does particularly like your stomach or thighs but he'll really do it anywhere just not inside you.

D is for Dirty Secret:

He wants to show you off, let you flirt with other men, only for him to swoop in at the last second and lay claim to you. The fact that your his and only his turns his sex drive up to 100.

E is for Experience (How experienced are they?):

He was married once before you so he has a good amount of experience. I can't see him having crazy amounts though like maybe before his wife only having a couple other serious girlfriends.

F is for Favorite Position:

He likes anything really, from standing up missionary so he can fuck you against a random door in the hotel, to having you bent over the front desk of the hotel lobby where anyone could see.

G is for Goofy (How serious are they?):

Never. Not even a smile or laugh. He acts like having sex with you is the single most important thing in the entire world.

H is for Hair (How well groomed are they?):

He keeps himself pretty well groomed. I mean at the Stanley hotel he really has all the time in the world to keep himself neat and tidy.

I is for Intimacy (How are they during the act, romantic etc):

Very romantic, like I said before this man acts as if it's a life or death situation. He's gonna give you the best time of your life each and every time you fuck. Not that he would let you but he wants to ensure that you never leave him or the hotel.

J is for Jackoff (Do they masturbate and how often?):

He doesn't really jackoff ever. He doesn't really enjoy it that much to be honest. Plus him and you are stuck in the hotel together, why would he finish himself off when your ready and willing and have no where else to be.

K is for Kink (Their kinks):

Heavy on the daddy kink, no matter how big or small the age gap is between the two of you he's your daddy and he expects to be called as such. He'll call you his baby or anything else your little heart desires.

He's also really into predator and prey. Run around the hotel and hide, let him find you. If you wanna be a brat do that too it only works him up more. The more you work him up the harder the fucking when he finally finds you (or you let yourself be found)

L is for Location (Favorite places to have sex):

Anywhere, literally anywhere. You have an ENTIRE hotel just to yourselves. Every couch, every bed, every available surface in the entire building is his favorite.

M is for Motivation (What turns them on?):

Like I mentioned earlier he really likes your eyes, so if you ever want to really get him going just shoot him a look. He'll instantly be all over you.

N is for No (Something they won't do):

There isn't much he won't do and he's a pretty sleazy guy normally but don't let that fool you. He'd NEVER hit you or hurt you like that even during sex. He just think it ruins the entire mood and doesn't like the thought of actually hurting you.

O is for Oral (Oral Preferences):

He really likes receiving, it makes him feel like a king, but he also really likes giving too. I mean it is his after all why wouldn't he wanna service it.

P is for Pace (How fast or slow? Are they rough?):

A nice in-between medium pace. He doesn't like going too fast but he also doesn't wanna go at a snails pace either. He's rough though, like I said earlier not to the point of hurting you rough, but there's nothing soft about Jack Torrance.

Q is for Quickie ( Do they like quickies?):

Sex is sex to Jack. He'll be down for quickies if you are. He's been a ghost for decades babe, this man is down to fuck.

R is for Risk (Are they down to experiment?):

I feel like Jack would be very open to experiment and try new things, not to sound like a broken record but this man has nothing but time. He'd bring up some things he'd like to try and if you do to then the more the merrier.

S if for Stamina (How long can they go for?):

Do ghosts get tired? If they can it definitely doesn't seem like it. Jack can go for however long he feels like really. He'll only stop if you get too tired but don't be fooled, he has unlimited stamina.

T is for Toys (Do they use toys and do they like them?):

With toys Jack is a bit old fashioned. He doesn't really see the appeal of all the rubber and latex but if your into toys he is too. If that's what gets you off he's all for it and ready to go.

U if for Unfair (Do they like to tease?):

Jack is the biggest tease ever. If you aren't ready to weather through it then maybe he isn't for you. He teases the fuck out of his partner and also has the tendency to get kinda mean. Like mentioned earlier he would never physically hurt you but that doesn't mean your safe from him entirely.

V is for Volume (How loud can they get?):

Jack gets loud but not with moans or whines. He likes to talk to you during sex. Talk you through things and tell you his commands for what you need to do to get him off. Since no one else is around in the hotel he tends to do everything but yell these commands.

W is for Wild Card (Random things):

His favorite place that you've ever had sex that's also only happened once was outside of the hotel watching the sunset. It was a warmer night nearly to spring when you sprung the idea and he absolutely adored it.

X is for X-Ray (What are they packing):

A good 5 to 6 inches. He's not the biggest ever but he knows what to do with what he's got to get the job done.

Y is for Yearning (How high is their sex drive?):

Through the roof, I mean like was mentioned earlier. The two of you are literally stuck in a hotel alone together. He is essentially horny 24/7 and is always ready to take you.

Z is for ZZZ (How fast do they fall asleep?):

Like I said he'll clean you up from time to time and maybe run you a bath if you ask but while your in the bath he'll probably pass out. So don't be shocked if you come back to bed and he's already asleep.

[letters-to-rosie]

other Arcane questions for thought

(just saying I don't need these to be answered in the show, but these are things I'm genuinely curious about and are fun for the purposes of using the show as a site from which we can do political critique, because I'm a nerd who does this for fun and thinks about this stuff for fanfic; speaking of that feel free to steal any of these questions for fic purposes lol)

(also I put some questions on the end of this post)

so, like, what does Heimerdinger think of the whole mining colonies thing? he's been around since the start of the city; was he for establishing them or against? how does all this square with his personal code of ethics?

and on that note, why does he seem so ignorant about Zaun? why is the council so ignorant about Zaun in general when it's literally right there? has the council always been this way?

how did the great houses become great? did they do something? did they have a lot of money like Mel's family? is it a combo? has anyone ever lost great house status? if so, how?

Piltover becomes a global shipping lane. who do they ship to most and why?

how did Vander start his bar? what kind of booze do they have? what do Zaunites have available to ferment? are they getting everything imported?

is Piltover in charge of all the ports? ship trade seems like a big deal, which makes sense given the location. who's in charge of ports on the Zaun side if there are any? (again I'm asking why the council is so ignorant lmao)

who owns the mines? are we doing mercantile capitalism or like private enterprise capitalism?

what do they even make with the stuff from the mines? what are they mining? I have so many questions about the mines

we know the council members have staff because of Jayce. how easy is it to become a member of the staff? are they all nepotism jobs lol?

I'm just so curious about how Silco's political development goes down. he has very obvious reasons for not liking Piltover lol but I wanna know what his "hey this sucks" moment was (love fics that go into this sort of thing for any of the characters)

do other countries in the world know about the situation in Zaun under Piltovan control? do any of them oppose it on moral grounds? (would be really fun for an OC fic)

big one: we see child labor is pretty common in the setting, not only through Silco's factory but also Ekko being a child worker. what's going on with all that? do they have schools? is there an apprenticeship system? is it just regular child labor lmao

also do they have therapists because Jayce sure needed one when he almost got banished and then immediately jumped to taking his life like has anyone invented psychiatry yet

why are Noxian spirits an illegal import what the hell did they put in there (or is it like an economic protectionist thing which could be possible but more boring than the "Noxians have weird booze" thesis)

[thelazyhermits]

Book 7 has got me thinking about my Yuu's dynamic with Sebek and Silver, so I decided I wanna make a most about this trio like the one did with AYuuDeuce.

There are some Book 7 spoilers underneath the cut, and they're spoilers from some of the parts that are currently only available in the JPN server, so if y'all don't wanna see any form of spoilers, I'd recommend not reading this post.

Okay, so everyone knows that I adore Sebek and absolutely love writing fluffy moments with him and Yuu. That's why these two have such a close relationship my A Twisted Future series.

I've decided that all my current Sebek fics happen prior to Book 7, so they're both super close by the time Book 7 happens.

Silver, however, is someone I haven't talked a lot about which is a shame cause I love him a lot too.

Yuu treats Silver a lot like Kalim in that she really trusts him and is fond of him cause Silver is just such a sweetheart and is always a perfect gentleman around her, which is the kinda treatment she's a sucker for.

One idea related to the Silver/Yuu relationship that I came up which I really love is that Yuu is always able to wake up Silver when he falls asleep.

While others will often have difficulty waking Silver up when he's sleeping particularly deeply, Yuu doesn't really have that problem, and the reason for that is because she genuinely, platonically loves him.

I'm not quite sure about all the details about the sleeping curse that was placed on Silver when he was a baby. Like if it's only half broken thanks to the passage of time/Lilia or if it's completely broken but Silver just has sleep spells as an unfortunate side effect of being cursed for so long. If that's ever explained/confirmed, I totally missed that lol

Regardless, I love the idea of "love" still playing a crucial role when dealing with Silver's sleepiness, so someone with a pure love for him, whether it be romantic or platonic, can have an easier time waking him as compared to anyone else trying to wake him.

This kinda thing is perfect for Yuu who just loves so wholeheartedly without reservations due to having been unloved for all her life. She's desperate for that kinda love, which is why she doesn't hesitate to give it to those who are important to her since, to her, that's only fair.

Anyway, I just think it'd be super cute and wholesome if Yuu's always able to wake Silver up for a reason like that, and it's definitely an idea that matchmaker Lilia can get behind haha

Prior to Book 7, I'd say Yuu's relationship with Silver is a good one built on mutual trust and admiration for each others skills/good qualities, but I wouldn't say they're super close friends. They're definitely not as close as Yuu and Sebek are.

However, Book 7 is obviously gonna change things cause Yuu ends up spending so much time with Silver and Sebek, resulting in those three forming a really tight bond due to everything they've had to face and overcome together.

Rest assured, all the moments in Book 7 when Silver/Sebek need a hug, Yuu makes sure they get one. There are so many hug sessions that go on in this book.

When this madness is all over, I just want these kids all wrapped up in warm blankets and all cuddled up together somewhere safe where they can just rest and de-stress 😭

By the end of Book 7, the boys and Yuu are super comfortable with each other, like personal space is rarely considered, cause these kids went through hell and need that physical contact and a ton of it.

Anytime the boys are feeling unloved/are being weighed down by their insecurities, Yuu is showering them with as much love as she can and will keep at it for as long as they need her to.

She'll hug them close, card her fingers through their hair, and offer any kind of affection they want/need.

Sebek is the type who just loves being doted on by her, so Yuu always goes all out with that. Meanwhile, Silver just enjoys having someone close, someone he can hug and talk to if he has something he needs to get off his chest since he doesn't want to ask for too much. Of course, Yuu makes sure Silver gets that and so much more because it's what that sweet boy deserves.

Meanwhile, Sebek and Silver become very good at noticing when something's off with Yuu and are quick to offer comfort when they can tell she needs it, knowing it's better to act before she asks since she's not the type to ask for help until she's really bad off.

Silver will just quietly hold her hand or gently stroke her hair/back, or they'll just take a nap together if she just needs to a break from everything. He's always so gentle with her but never treats her like she's a piece of glass. That's just how he is since he possesses such a soft, gentle kindness that envelops you like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer.

While Sebek had already become quite good at expressing affection toward Yuu prior to Book 7, he's even better after the book since now he rarely ever hesitates to reach out to her when he thinks she needs him.

Sebek will often just wrap Yuu up in a tight, protective embrace that's always full of his love and care for her. Meanwhile, the kisses he places against her face and hair are always extremely tender, showcasing how much he treasures her.

By the end of Book 7, all three of them are more protective of each other because of everything they went through. Silver/Sebek are especially protective of Yuu cause there were times when her recklessness got the better of her during the book's events.

And I could see this book being when Yuu admits that her recklessness is the result of growing up her whole life never really caring about her own well-being since she was always treated like she was worthless. She never experienced love prior to NRC, so she didn't know how to love herself.

Fortunately, since coming to NRC, she has learned this valuable lesson, and she knows that now there are people who would be upset if she died, so she never wants to put the people she loves through that kinda pain. Plus, she truly wants to live now that she has a life she thinks is worth living.

Needless to say, Sebek gets really emotional when he hears that and hugs the hell out of her for a while.

Regrettably, old habits die hard, which is why Yuu can't just completely stop being reckless just cause she wants to, so that's why she will still have moments when she puts herself in danger in order to protect her loved ones.

Which is why Silver/Sebek will always watch her back because they want to protect her just as much.

Thanks to Book 7, I am now just so soft for the SilYuuSeb trio cause they're all such good kids who are always working so hard and doing their best. They care so much about each other and have so much mutual respect for one another.

Depending on how Book 7 ends, I might just have to write a fic with these three.

Just imagine, when it's all over and done and they're supposed to return to their rooms at the end of the day now that everything's back to normal, none of them can sleep, not even Silver, cause it's been what feels like forever since these three last slept on their own without the other two present and it just feels wrong to not know with complete certainty that they're all completely safe.

Fortunately, Lilia was smart enough to have Yuu stay over at Diasomnia for the night, out of concern for her mental state after such a stressful ordeal, so once the three have had enough of being alone, they all end up seeking each other out in the middle of the night.

Hence, the timeless classic cuddle pile cause that's exactly what these poor kids need.

And of course, the next morning, Lilia finds the three fast asleep all cuddled up together and is absolutely thrilled 😂

(There's also some worry, of course, but more than anything, he is just loving seeing his boys becoming even closer to his future daughter lol)

[smurphyse]

It's been over a year since I made this post. In it, I talk about how much it means to writers to have people comment on fics and reblog them.

What I didn't go into at the time is how since Tumblr doesn't really have an algorithm, but a network of users who all follow one another, reblogging is more important than ever to writers and readers.

Let's say you want to read more stories about a fandom ship or a certain character... how do you find them? Either through the author's post or through another user reblogging it. If you aren't in the habit of searching tags, you'll end up reading new fics mostly because someone you followed either searched tags, followed the writer, or got it from a reblog that someone you followed reblogged it from.

It's a cycle guys! If ten people reblog a fic,and ten different people who follow even one of those people then reblog the fic again... the reach is so much farther than if only one person reblogs it.

I get why people don't want to comment. I don't agree, but I get social anxieties and while I don't suffer from it in that way and appreciate comments, that's fine. Reblog the fic if you like it! Then... someone who does comment can leave a comment or an ask and help inspire the writer to continue their work! This site used to be entirely of reblogs and likes, back before the comment/reply feature was available. I hate the comment/reply feature, because it doesn't require a reblog like it used to here on Tumblr. It has meant so much less interaction and spread of stories and it's killing writing because writers don't think anyone wants to keep reading their fics. Because nobody else sees it except those who follow them or read the tags, so there is no reach unless the writer has followers who reblog.

You wanna keep requesting fics but you don't comment or reblog, or your blog is blank? I'm not writing it. I notice who reblogs my stories and who just spam likes and doesn't share them. I don't think you care about my work if you only ever like them and don't bother to comment or even empty reblog. It's upsetting, because why are you following me and liking my writing if you don't want anyone else to see it? I can't tell you how many demands I get for fics or oneshots and then get no interaction on it when I do post it. I'm sick and tired of it, and the hate I get when I inevitably get writer's block because I've gotten no interaction on my stories... so why even continue? I do this for free, and you READ FOR FREE... the absolute least you can do when you consume content that took me hours to write after a 60 hour work week and taking care of myself is to show some gratitude.

Have a side blog you only reblog to, that's fine. Reblog with or without comments, or even tags. Inevitably someone will follow you and see your posts. Use your main blog for your aesthetic or shit posting, whatever, but REBLOG FICS. Other people will see them, they'll get more notes and followers, and it'll only help a writer to continue their work.

I'm so over having this argument. You want more things to read? Support writers and their content. It's as simple as that.

[canaidliafail]

Way back to her pt 1/2

Minthara x F!Tav

MDI! cw: mentions of violence, Minthara is jealous & possessive. I have not changed her at all from her canon paranoid self. Sexual stuff going on here as well. Not proof read

[Tav was a knight at the Beanre household and caught Minthara’s attention forming an interesting relationship. After the Absolutes abduction she is now trying to find her way back to her]

Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody And I don't wanna get in your way

But I finally think I can say, That the vicious cycle was over, The moment you smiled at me

[1]

You always watched her. Aside from the fact that it was your job to follow her every step you went the extra mile and engaged with her in every given chance

“A knight?” you remembered her asking with a vile smirk directed her mothers way

“To protect me from whom? My siblings or you?” and the old woman shook her head in dismay

“You are a noble of the house of Beanre. You need a personal guard” Minthara turned around and walked out. You put in a lot of effort to prove yourself to no avail. She was skilled with maces and twice as good with magic. The paladin excelled in every aspect and you hardly ever had the time to show your own talents.

However there was a moment of weakness and loneliness where you found her standing atop of an old lover's corpse. another one that she had killed herself

“Are you alright?��

You rushed to her aid and she didn’t stop you nor did she lift a hand to keep you at distance. She turned to you with lowered brows and eyes like blown out candles. She was tired, emotionally

“It’s quite a lonely thing to hold this position and betrayal comes in abundance” she confessed.

“Yet you, why are you always here ?” she asked without judgment but out of pure curiosity and…despair.

“Are you in need of financial compensation? or is it my parents' graces you are trying so hard to weasel your way into?” Her voice clipped and harsh once again. She faced you and straightened her posture

“To impress you” you honestly confessed and fell on one knee. You reached out and held her hand daring to lay your forehead against her grayish skin.

“If only you would give me the chance…you would see”

you started but she cut you off with a gesture. her fingers wrapped around your cheek lifting your face to look at her. she smirked

“Keep me company tonight” your eyes widened in shock

“That would be blasphemous of me- Before you, a Noble and a high priestess- Im nothing but a mere knight.Even to dream of such privilege is a sin” she chuckled, a low raspy sound that echoed in your mind.

“That’s for me to decide. Call the maids. tell them to clean this mess and then meet me at my private chambers. At night, you belong to me alone”

A new relationship was formed. One void of all emotion and filled with carnal pleasure. You savored the touch of her flesh beneath her fingers and basked in the glory of her naked body on top of yours. You were quick to learn what she liked. She came undone when you stroked her ears and would shiver when you pulled her hair. She didn’t necessarily like it rough. She liked passion and whatever that entailed which was a stark contrast to what you thought she would be. Fortunately though it perfectly aligned with your needs

Felt as if you two were molded for each other. However you knew that it was within her rights to be courted by many and you were merely someone to fill the gaps in between the searches for what was real.

Yet for some reason, she never ventured away. She started seeking out your presence even when it wasn't necessary. Through that bond you found a new side of Minthara, a more mischievous one. During important gatherings she would wear a skin tight dress with high slits exposing her thighs and cut down low showing the curve of her chest. At first you were sure it had to do with court appropriate attire and looking for suitors. You quickly figured out how naive you were. It all took one glance her way across the table. You stood straight as a rod with your hands on your sheathed sword when her lips twitched in what was a ghost of a smile and her legs spread on her velvet chair with the fabric falling from her thighs to her corr barely covering what was beneath it. However she showed you something entirely different. From her exposed ashy thighs you noticed she wore no undergarments beneath her dress and when you realized that you nearly lost your balance. You stood across from her yet you could smell her desire and it made you dizzy. Judging from everyone around you they all were confused and delighted, hoping that this show was directed to them but Minthara never broke contact with you.

That night you would have her scream your name when you were knuckles deep in her wet aching pussy. She bit and scratched and kept repeating the same words “You are mine”

“You belong to me”

And to your knowledge those words didn’t extend beyond your position as a knight. However she would confuse you the next day when you would awake first and rush to get ready. At first she just watched. however a few weeks later she would ask you to stay with her and help her get dressed and after a month she would claw her nails in your back commanding you to indulge her and keep her in your embrace. she buried her face in your chest and nuzzled her nose in the exposed skin. You laid frozen still. It felt familiar to a cat’s affection that would vanish after an abrupt movement.

One night you remembered waking up to a peculiar sight and a devastating bellyache. She held a bottle of poison in her hand and a wet towel in the other pressed against your forehead tending to you “Minthara what did you-”

“You need to become immune to poison. This is training” She said matter-of-factly as if it was the most logical thing to hear

“Fuck are you-why?”

She left the bottle on her nightstand and lowered herself on your thighs wetting the towel every now and then making sure it stayed cool while your temperature started rising.You started coughing and you felt like throwing up.

“What in God's name was in that thing-” you coughed again and tried to sit up not even sure how to take any of the shit unraveling before you

“You want me dead?”

She shook her head and pushed you down, immune to your tantrums “I want to keep you by my side and unfortunately people will come at you just for that. I need to make sure you can handle the easiest way to kill you”

“Easiest?” you yelled. She cocked a brow to you and you almost felt bad for your very much justified tone

“A drop in your drink or food and you are gone just like that” She said and snapped her fingers in your face. You stopped trying to reason with her as her shape started to wobble and you could hardly keep your eyes open. She stayed with you. The next morning you noticed that she had the antidote ready right next to the poison along with her spellbook gifted from lolth. If things went south she was ready. It took a couple of months of you waking up to such endeavors. One was a knife on your neck, the other with some new vile liquid down your throat. Yet with each attempt you grew less angry and more understanding.

She was a noble and a knight who could die in their sleep was no good to her or to anyone. You began to appreciate her effort and surprised her with a knife pulled at her own throat after trained caution. She smiled with relief and tossed her weapon on the side of the bed while you hid yours beneath the pillows and furs. She wrapped her arms around your neck and kissed your lips with so much fervor that they felt bruised when you two parted.

“Seems like you have been paying more attention than I thought. Im flattered”

“I just hope you aren’t as tending to all the knights as you are to me”

“Jealous?” she teased and you laughed looking away. Yes you fucking were. You couldn’t understand her.

Not this.

“You have very delicate movements for a warrior” you smiled as you sat behind her braiding her hair and leaned down to kiss her naked shoulders. she sighed in content and leaned back against your chest.

“Give me your hand soldier” she commanded softly and you reached around laying her hand in her grasp. she traced the fine lines of your palm

“A long life of fortune but solitude” she started “Is what they told me when they looked at mine, yet in yours there are many roads and many paths. I’ve never met such a free spirit so willingly caged” you smiled and buried your nose in her hair carefully not to get carried away and leave a kiss in an already too tender moment for what you two actually were.

“I broke out of most of my chains” you whispered “but this one…” you trailed on and held her in your arms “oh please let this one remain”

You would never find out what she thought of your confession. The absolute messengers came and she hung their bodies in her garden. Her curiosity got the better of her and one night she vanished and was never seen again.

[2]

Lae’zel reminded you of your love. That was your first impression of the Githyanki warrior. She was bold, straight to the point with her words and as strong headed and distrusting as Minthara. You knew how to approach feline looking people thanks to her.

“Who is this drow you are chasing so fondly?” she asked and surprised you. Shadowheart and Astarion paused their conversation and turned your way.

You looked away at the fireplace and let out a sigh

“When did you-“

“You saw my fears about my Queen and left an opening for me to explore your mind. Felt only fair to know something of you however I expected more than…a woman” she said and you couldn't distinct whether the dryness in her tone came from unfamiliarity or from disappointment

“She isn’t just any woman…Many..many years ago I was a knight working for a family of Noble drows in menzoberranzan” you started and quickly darted your eyes around to notice everyone expecting to hear more. Granted you were the only one left who never shared anything but their name to the team so their curiosity was justified. Even Gale peeked from his tent pretending to fix his perfectly working night lanterns

“I was the Queen's knight during the trials and once my skill was recognised I was assigned the position of guarding one of her daughters. The second one in line…But one day the Absolute kidnapped her. I can’t believe I overlooked that part of her…how strong her curiosity was”

you said and lowered your head lost in your own thoughts and shadowheart chuckled snapping you out of it

“That doesn’t sound like a knight who failed at her job but like a lover who lost their partner” you looked up at her with softer eyes and a hardened heart

“She was someone I loved” you didn’t expect to sound so sharp but the surprise in her face mirrored your feelings “I didn’t mean to make you-“

“It’s fine. I wasn’t hiding it really. I have been looking for her.Or was at least…until my capture. The rest, you know the rest…Looking for a cure is a priority but I won't lie and act like I wasn’t looking for clues of her whereabouts' ' you finished and the silence that followed was unbearable. You almost wished Lae’zel would find something to argue over to lighten the mood

“How do you know she is alive?”

“Because she is the strongest warrior I’ve met. Nothing can break her”

I hope so at least- you thought to yourself terrified to say that last bit out loud.You remembered her in leather blood soaked armor, the blood of her sibling from one of their asassination attempts and you also remembered her telling you of her own mothers attempt on taking her life. Yet she smiled with a glint in her eyes and would say -let them try- and would lay her head on your naked chest and then-

your head snapped up once the thoughts vanished and you looked around realizing it was shadowheart this time who peered into your mind. She was unable to look at you with cheeks flushed as she stood up and curtly excused herself

you took a bite out of the roasted meat you had on a stick. It was dry, tasteless and if you thought a bit longer on where that meat even came from you may have used the same stick to lobotomize yourself

“How romantic” Astarion trailed on in a sing song voice and got up and get the lyre you all found earlier that day “If you pluck a tune you won’t leave to see the daylight” Lae’zel threatened sick of his terrible music skills that filled your travel these past few days

“Awh, so mean” he pursed his lips and put the lyre away like a wet cat.

“Let’s head to bed. There’s a goblin camp nearby. Worth to look for a healer there as well”

“Goblins are fun, We might even drink a glass of wine or two” Astarion agreed. You shrugged and tossed your stick on the firepit and went to your tent trying to get comfortable. You heard rustling outside and footsteps and watched the silhouette of a woman outlined behind the fabric

“yes? shadowheart?”

She stepped in and kneeled beside you

“I don’t understand why are you giving yourself to a woman who only used you to satiate her own sexual appetite”

“I was willing to accept anything she would give to me. Any part of her however small”

“and now ? Are you hoping she will look at you differently if you find her and save her ?”

you shook your head and chuckled

“You know I'd love to say no but it’s been so long since I’ve had a royal stick up my ass to prevent me from having these thoughts that I may very well accept them. But that’s not why you are here love, is it?”

you asked and she smirked “I won’t judge you for keeping secrets from me since I haven’t been open myself however if those are of an old love then I believe I am allowed to have a peek” you smiled and watched her sit on top of you straddling your thighs with her own her hands on your neck as she planted soft kisses on your jaw and cheek

“Hm, are you? As far as I am concerned we shared a drink and a night and you pulled away. This newfound interest surprises me” she smiled

“This could be something more eventually, maybe someday. However as we are now with many things unresolved it’s best if we stick to what we have”

you felt pressured. You disliked the expectation that hung loosely in the air. You refused to move on from Minthara. Not until you found her at least and took her back to her home safely. It was your duty not as a knight but as someone who genuinely loved her. However the rest was entirely in her hands. If she would reject you or continue your pact of carnal pleasure.

“Shadowheart I do enjoy you and your company but I am not-“

“I know” she said and you smiled, relaxing a bit beneath her embrace. You turned the two of you around and let her spend the night in your camp.

[3]

The Goblin camp was grotesque as you thought it’d be. There was a bard fighting for dear life to entertain the crowd with poor stories and pitiful jokes and in the distance you could see goblins chasing around an owl ear cub. Your heart ached for the animal and you left a mental note to see if you could do something about the situation.

“Isn’t this…Volo? The clown from the druids grove?” Astarion whispered in your ear and you choked back a laugh

“A bard not a clown”

“He makes it exceptionally hard to tell the two apart” he said dismissively and walked past the show looking around. You didn’t exactly know where to begin. Nettie tried to kill you but spoke of a healer that was captured here. Then there was the goblin Sazza, who said they had their own healer. Priestess soul gut. Was worth giving both a shot assuming you wouldn’t die in the process

“Shall we take a look?” Shadowheart chirped in

“You really think they will just let us walk around in there? It’s a prison”

“We are wasting time here. We should be looking for the crèche” Lae’zel hissed at both of you

“We will Lae’zel but let’s exhaust all of our options. We didn’t have an easy time before, I don’t see why that would change now” You waved Astarion over who was already happily day drinking and he swung his hips your way in a way that put you to shame. Maybe he could teach you a thing or two about walking with more grace and suave.

You pushed against the heavy wooden doors and walked past the broken statues of Selune. Two guard stopped you

“Where do you think you are going?”

“We have an audience with your Leader” Astarion took charge. You all agreed that he could be more persuasive and charming than the three of you combined.

“Which one? Priestess Soul Gut, The Drow or Dror Ragzlin?”

“That would be-”

“The drow” you pushed him away gently with a hand on his chest and stepped forward. There was no reason for a drow to be in such places. Unheard of to say the least. You could feel through your tadpole your companions slow understanding of your impulsive reaction all the while the guard was oblivious to your inner turmoil

“Alright then just know she is an uptight one. A great leader though I’ll give her that much”

You walked inside and since no one seemed keen on giving directions you had to take a look around yourself trying to look self assured and non threatening. Luckily, You could make a stop before your search since the Priestess was in front of you and Astarion took it upon himself to converse with her. Impatient as you were, you started looking around and behind the stage where the priestess sat were bars with Spiders inside. You recognized them as Lolth sworn companions. You were dangerously ecstatic in the moment. A lolth sworn drow was leading this camp.

What are the fucking odds

A hand fell on your shoulder and you were jolted back to the present. You turned around to look at Astarion who was seething with anger “Useless. Let’s find the prisoner” He whispered and you made your way up around the halls

“This is futile. How are we supposed to find anything or anyone in this wreck” Lae’zel barked “Calm yourself” shadowheart teased enjoying her suffering.

“Why won’t he speak?!” You heard an argument somewhere far in the distance. You turned to look at the dim light corridor and made your way there forgetting to inform your companions of your detour. You could have sworn you recognized the gravel and rasp of that voice so you treaded carefully inside. You were greeted by a scrying eye that made you take several steps back in surprise and alarm

“Your inadequacy will be punished!” Her tone started rising amongst her anger

“No I can find a way”

“I’ve heard enough. My spiders will be pleased with tonight’s dinner”

From where you stood, behind the dustier shelves of a library and across a fragile wooden bridge you could see Minthara in gold plated armor and black leather engulfing her lean,toned figure beautifully. She wore maces strapped on her back and her beautiful hair was gathered in a rushed low bun with untamed strands.

Her red eyes met yours and with a flick of her wrist the goblin was pushed by a force down in the spider-it with its screams a last reminder of its existence. Your companions silently walked up behind you following you inside in confusion.

“Another true soul” She greeted with a mischievous smile. This wasn’t the woman you knew years ago that was certain. Yet you couldn’t pinpoint what was different. The bloodthirst was as prevalent as always after all

“Minthara?” You asked and tried to hold your voice steady

“I see you know me. Good. I assumed nothing less from another true soul. Join my hunt. We are preparing a raid against the Tiefling grove if we manage to locate its whereabouts”

“The tiefling grove ? You mean the Druid one ? Tieflings took refuge there” You started and her eyes shone

“You know about it?” She spoke quietly now and took a step closer

“Be my eyes” and you felt the cold featherlight touch tapping around your mind looking for entrance which you granted thoughtlessly

“I see. Pathetic but smart to make camp amongst the desperate” she said and turned around with her arms crossed behind her back

“I’ll gather a raiding party. You will go inside as a friend and when I send a signal you will open the gates”

“It shall be done” You said with practiced obedience

“Then until tomorrow” she dismissed and you looked behind you wondering if she was trying to hold face amongst strangers. She was paranoid and distrusting and that was etched on her bones.

“Give us a moment” you asked and they nodded

“We will wait for you outside then”

Shadowheart confirmed with you and they left. Minthara turned around and cocked a brow eyeing you from head to toe

“Something unclear about my instructions?”

“Don’t you recognize me?”

“No. Am I supposed to?” She asked and spread her legs a tad straightening her posture. You were 20 again and you were back in Menzoberranzan, a newly recruited knight to the second daughter of the house of Beanre. A human amongst Drows and royalty. A nobody

You were 31 now, yet you weren’t in the present at all

“I suppose not. I must have mistaken you for somebody else” You answered crestfallen. She smiled and took a step closer, hands firmly crossed behind her back

“I’m curious about you though. There’s a sense of familiarity that you bring that I’d like to explore once this is over” She stepped in your space with a hand on your chest tracing the fine lines of your embroidered jacket while another hand caressed your mind filling it with a well known image of a kiss on your lips that lead to another on your neck.

“Then join me at my camp. Let’s talk”

She laughed “If you prove useful and bring victory to us then I might celebrate with you.Otherwise I see no reason to entangle myself with someone who will not live as long as I am planning to”

Valid. So you pushed against her mind and let her feel your breath on her skin, on her stomach as your lips kissed lower and licked a stripe down the coarse hair of her cunt and she grew flustered to your surprise, shutting off the connection immediately.

you both pulled away simultaneously and her eyes found yours. She was on fire

“I expect nothing less than victory tomorrow”

“You will have it”

You found your companions and they stared at you waiting for answers. Lae’zel cut the tension short

“It’s her. I recognized her face from the woman in your thoughts. Only well, older”

You nodded “And she had no idea who I was. I don’t know what these fucking tadpoles have done to her brain or what the absolute is doing as we speak but I will have my revenge if I can’t have her back” you said shaking from anger your eyes glued on the ground unable to form a coherent thought. There was an ache from arousal and a headache from the confusion

“Calm yourself, soldier. All in due time, apparently we now have to raid a grove”

Shadowheart reminded you and you bit your lip in anger. She was right. You waited for six years, you could wait a bit more.

[4]

“Your obedience will make this more enjoyable. For both of us” she declared and you followed her inside the wrecked altair sitting in the offering table. She smiled and settled in between your legs wrapping her arms around your neck

“What do you want ?”

“I want you” you whispered breathlessly at the sight of her. “You shall have me then” she answered and went to undress herself. You were growing impatient and desperate and so you reached around at the strings of her top

“May I do this for you?”

she smiled and placed her arms on your shoulders inviting you in. You lowered your head leaving kisses on her sternum while slowly and gently unfastening her top and letting it fall from her torso exposing her chest. Your hands caressed her back and one went to her ears fondling the spot causing her to shake and reward you with a soft moan. she guided your other hand lower and you palmed her cunt giving it a soft squeeze to which she gasped and her head fell on your shoulder “You are exquisite” you whispered in her ear and slid a hand beneath the leather fabric teasing her clit with a finger from over her underwear. To your delight she was soaking wet and you couldn’t hold back your smirk of arrogance “Take it as a compliment soldier” she said with allure and you

You knew what she liked, you had studied her better than your oath and she seemed surprised every time your fingers twitched and moved in a way that made her elicit the loudest moans. she straddled your lap and you tore her underwear impatient and thrusted one finger in with ease. You felt painfully aroused by how readily she was taking you in. Her eyes and skin glistened with tears and sweat as you picked up your pace and she chased her release which you took the initiative to deny her from. She frowned in confusion and spiked anger

“I want you on my mouth, please” You begged and the smile returned to her lips

“Won’t deny either of us from such pleasure” she said and moved up as your back hit the cold stone surface. Your arms slid beneath her thighs and hauled her over your face in one fell swoop which she gasped in surprise not expecting your eagerness. You thrusted her down and your tongue split her folds and licked a fat stripe from her hole up to her clit. She moaned your name and her hands dug in your hair tugging at it demanding more. Sharp nails dug in your scalp while you started slowly at first needing to show her that at this point you knew her body better than she did.Needing her to understand that you knew what she needed and when. You applied pressure with your tongue and sucked on her clit and looked up at the sight above you. She was ecstatic and her thighs began to shake and that was enough for you to feel a new wave of wetness coat your pants.

She surprised you by turning around and sitting down on your face once again “Back to work” she commanded and swiftly moved her hands to your aching cunt. she grinded her hips against her face and you continued eating her out in earnest.

She slid her hands beneath her undergarments and started stroking you nice and slow matching your pace.

You struggled now trying to focus on making her cum while also having the divine feeling of her fingers in you, distracting you from the task at hand. You thrust your tongue in her opening lapping at her wetness and she folded over you as her orgasm hit her. You weren’t too far off, with two swift strokes your own hitting you and releasing a low groan at the wave of pleasure. Her wetness was hot on your tongue and you swallowed it all desperate to have more of her on you, in you. You had missed her yet despite having her tonight this reunion felt underwhelming…cold…

She slowly lifted her hips off your face and turned around with your arm, steading her and pulling her back in your embrace. She complied with your silent request and laid her head on your collar bones.

She closed her eyes and left her mind open enough for a small piece of it to bleed into your own and you sensed fear and alarm. You wanted so badly to take a look, to understand her, to find an answer and this newfound tadpole connection was a terrible weapon. You refused to use it on her though. She mattered too much and you knew how fragile her trust was.

So instead you kissed her and she smiled seemingly snapping out of her thoughts

“It's eerily silent here with you, without the Absolutes influence in my mind. I’m not sure what to make of it”

You had a simple answer to that question. One that you unfortunately could not give. Not the way that she was now

“I’m not sure what you are alluding to Minthara” You tried to fake offense and she seemed concerned. Scared and cornered and your heart shattered at the sight.

What have they done to you?

You wanted to scream in agony and despair of not knowing what changed and how they broke her this way. Minthara was not only unbreakable but she wouldn’t bend either yet now there were only fragments of her and it made your heart wrench in pain.

“You are right, I should not question the Absolute..I..We will talk tomorrow about our next move. I need to pray and ask for forgiveness” She abruptly stood up and turned her back on you. Whatever spark you had going on vanished in a split second.

[5]

Minthara Beanre murdered her way out of the womb. She was violent in nature and kind words did not come easy nor did she have any to spare. As she grew more attached to you however she felt them threaten to spill. She loved watching you in the dim misty mornings under the pale light and she would show her most vulnerable self when you were asleep. She would kiss your jaw and forehead and would you in her embrace, your head laid on her naked chest while she buried her face in your hair taking in your scent. She was growing obsessed and paranoid

Banquets and parties were frequent in the Beanre household. Nobles loved holding luxurious gatherings to hold business meetings. Usually minthara kept you close. She sometimes didn’t mind you straying away for a few minutes until she noticed the daughter of another family approaching you.

She never understood why you were -nice-

it was unnecessary and she made a mental note to order you against such behavior.

She was significantly younger than Minthara and had a look of effortless cluelessness as she smiled at you and asked questions. You patiently guided her around the environment and Minthara took a second to wonder if perhaps that’s the type of woman you prefered.

Someone softer in nature.

However, that faded the moment she saw the girl lay a hand on your shoulder and ever so softly dig her red painted nails in the gold plate of your armor.

she walked up to you and called out your name and you immediately turned around and looked at her concerned. You pulled away and was in front of her holding her hand in yours and the other ready on your sheathed sword

“Is everything alright?” she smiled.

Loyal as a pup

“You are getting distracted. Come. I have a meeting to attend”

she commanded and you followed no questions asked.

That night the young Nobles family received her fingernails, all 10 of them red in paint and in blood in a box while the Beanre household turned a blind eye and feigned ignorance to the vile screams that filled the halls when Minthara got creative with her warning and torture

no one touched what was hers

She went to her chambers that night and her heart swelled with warmth when she saw your naked body in her bed covered in furs and blankets. One day, she would carve her name on your back and would imprint her seal on your chest and claim you as hers. One day, when she wouldn’t be so scared to open up and perhaps more sure of your feelings towards her. She was sure you loved the comforts she provided and she knew you weren’t scared of the dangers that surrounded your position. Yet something more intimate ? She couldn’t possibly know.

She undressed and laid next to you getting under the heavy blankets and pressed her body against yours. In sync and out of habit you buried your face in the crook of her neck and she pulled you closer. She kissed your temple and gently whispered

“Allurssrin…”

[intercoursefluids]

TBTSB Chapter 2

“Grayson, let go of my face before I skewer you with my blade.”

“No, I miss your baby face. I miss the squish.”

Jason snorts at the pout on Dick’s face as he tries to remember the ‘baby fat’ Damian still had for the first year he was there.

“Would you two hold still?! I’m trying to fix the back of Damian's collar and I can’t do that if he's trying to get away from you Dick.”

Tim finishes straightening Damian's collar with a huff before going over to sit with Jason.

“What's got your panties in a wad, Shortstack?”

“MDC is going to be here, at the Gala. For the first time ever, and is not going to reveal her identity. She will be HERE, at the gala. And I might not even know I’m talking to her! The only reason I even know is because I caught Bruce and Alfred talking about it.”

Jason nods in understanding, going over to where Alfred stands at the doorway.

“You totally know who MDC is, don't you?”

“I have no clue what you are talking about Master Jason, but do try to behave this time. We have some important guests from Paris attending.”

Jason snorts walking back over to his chair and picking up his book.

He shouldn’t have even bothered asking, Alfred knows all, sees all, and hears all.

Of course, he would know who MDC is.

The car was silent as they arrived at the Gala. Father is the first to step out followed by Grayson, Todd, Drake, and then himself. Alfred would be parking the car and entering from a side door to avoid the publicity.

They smile and wave, stopping for pictures along the way before finally heading inside.

“Hey Big bird, wanna hit up the snack table?”

“Always.” 

Grayson and Todd separate from the group to stuff themself like the undignified swine they are as Father and Drake head to network and greet the guests.

Staying near the back Damian listens in to other conversations, finding himself interested despite his best efforts.

“Yeah, so I get home and he has another girl in our bed! He gave her my anniversary ring!”

“No! He! Didn’t! The one that's been missing for the past few weeks?”

“Yes! That one! I think he took it and convinced me I lost it!”

Realizing that he had been getting far too invested in someone else's conversation for far too long, Damian decides to head over to the snack table for something to drink.

Hoping to avoid his brothers to no avail.

“Hey, Little D! How has it been going so far?”

Raising his glass in the direction he just came from, he answers with a mixture of amusement and borderline disgust in his voice.

“In the past 30 or so minutes that we have been here, I have learned nothing more than the fact that that women's hopefully Ex-Boyfriend, is a pathetic piece of trash who stole from her and cheated as well.”

Todd and Grayson both look over at the two with pity, unsure which one Damian was talking about.

“He sounds like an ass.”

Damian raises his glass again in agreement as Grayson scolds Todd for his foul language.

He wished he could just stay at home.

Come Find Me In The Maribat Discord!<3

[the-royal-bat-snake]

Oh yeah I guess I kinda forgot to make this announcement ever.

I'm not really gonna be on tumblr anymore? I know that looks unsure and it's because I am.

I've been here, in mcytblr, since 2019. I was here for all the major dramas, I survived all of our mass extinction events, so it's weird to me to just leave. And I'm not really, tumblr sends me emails when people @ me and I always check those, so if people need me I'll be available. Also a lot of you have my Discord, and if you want it for some reason you can just message me I'm not really hiding.

But I'm leaving because genuinely I was stressing myself out. I am very big about managing notifications and looking at every single one, which was fine when I only followed 20 blogs. I follow 100 blogs and I have notifications on for over half of them. That is not sustainable and every time I got behind I was worried I was missing something. I got so caught up in being one of the last blogs remaining from several burned corpses of fandom spaces that I lost the fact that that Doesn't Fucking Matter. I'm just a guy. I don't need to know what’s happening all the time here. It's not important.

I got a new phone recently and it didn't automatically log into tumblr for me. I didn't realize for a few days honestly, which really proves I was getting worked up over nothing. So I just. Never logged in. I planned to make a post on my laptop. Never did that either. Only logged in because Elvie said they were deleting art from a blog and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything in the past few months. Only opened today because tumblr sent me an email about someone following me and decided to check Elvie's blog to see how they were doing.

I mean this in the nicest way possible to myself: I don't matter here. Nothing is going to implode because I decided not to log on unless someone needs me for something, or they just wanna show me a cool bat.

I think making posts about leaving websites is a bit dramatic, especially since I'm not really leaving and I might try and come back in like 2 months knowing me. But I have made friends here, and even if we don't talk often or at all I do want it to be clear what happened and that y'all can contact me for anything.

Feel free to @ me for anything or dm me for anything (also would have to @ me on a random post because I don't get emails for that and I turned off all notifications otherwise)

Uh. All that being said I still love Don't stop the party compilations so @ me on any of those you see

Not a goodbye but a see you around

[mindibindi]

So, wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

I was tagged by @lovelikewildness to share my greatest ff hits but I'm a fanfic dinosaur so while this is in Ao3 parlance, I'm gonna use a mixture of Ao3 (where I am mindy_makru_tutu) and FF.net (where I am mindy35) cos not all of my fics have made it across to Ao3.

Most Hits, Kudos & Comments (on Ao3): Fugitive | Bodyguard | David x Julia | Rated M | Available on ff.net

Most Views & Reviews (on ff.net): Collateral Damage | SVU | Elliot x Olivia | Rated M | Available on Ao3

Most Faves (on ff.net): Anywhere But Here | SVU | Elliot x Olivia | Rated T | Available on Ao3

Most Bookmarks (on Ao3): The 8th Day | SVU | Elliot x Olivia | Rated E | Available on ff.net

Most Words (on Ao3): This Never Happened & The Lucky Ones (Series) | Bodyguard | David x Julia | Rated E |Available on ff.net here and here

Most Words on (ff.net): The Rice Trilogy (Series) | Cheers Darlin' | 9 Crimes | My Favorite Faded Fantasy | SVU | Elliot x Olivia | Rated M | Not Available on Ao3

Least words ever: Party of One | 30 Rock | Jack x Liz | Rated K | Not Available on Ao3 *** Author's Note: In the past, I have written 260+ stories for NCIS (Kate x Gibbs), 30 Rock (Jack x Liz), Doctor Who (Ten x Donna), Castle (Caskett), Law and Order: SVU (Elliot x Olivia), Ashes to Ashes (Gene x Alex), Bodyguard (David x Julia) and Ted Lasso (Ted x Rebecca). At some point, Ao3 helpfully decided to start importing my early NCIS stories so I figured I better get my ass in gear. I have posted a selection of my stories there, something to represent each fandom and linked to my ff.net profile where everything lives. If going to ff.net is super annoying and anyone wants some old faves posted to Ao3, just let me know.

That said, don't forget about ff.net (even if only when Ao3 goes down) and don't forget about old authors. There is good stuff on ff.net. There are gems to be found amongst dusty ole stacks. Fanfiction archives are libraries. Don't expect an algorithm. Expect an adventure. Search. Experiment. And don't forget to tell old authors what you think. We're still out there. I still get random reviews (mostly on my SVU stuff) and it makes my day just as much now as it did in the past.

And I tag @it-is-bugs @doesntgoaway @baronessblixen @alexdrakes @xyber116 @aloysiavirgata @syntax6 and...oh I don't know how many to tag and who is still writing but do it if you wanna. And that means YOU, shy fanfic writer who happened to see this and started mentally dusting off that story that didn't get the love it deserved. You have been tagged!

[deleahtarte]

Hey, I just wanna say I'm a HUGE ass fan of your South Park works. They're literal blessings oh my god thank you for your amazing existence. I really love how you portray the characters and all these little details and headcanons about them that aren't really addressed in the show in canon. They seem so natural and human, you know? If you don't mind me asking two things about your fanfics; I heard you mentioning once how Creek got you into the show, so how come you never really write about them or mention them in your other fics as often? Is it just that you lost interest and moved on? Also, I'm really interested in your Style fanfic "The Days After I Wished for You." I will give you my soul in exchange for the completion of the story, but of course I understand if you lost interest/inspiration in writing it or you're too busy. Sorry if I seem rude, but it would be very much appreciated. Anyways, sorry for the rant and hope you have a great day~♡

First of all, thank you for your kind words!! I’m glad my weird headcanons aren’t something you visibly flinch at because sometimes when I write them I wonder if it’s alright to share 😭😭 So this is a terrific thing for me to hear!!!

Ahh, Creek. What a wonderful question! Creek is like a first love. It’s great but the chances of it lasting are very slim (but you always think it’s going to be forever), and when it doesn’t last you end up always thinking about it and comparing. I haven’t moved on from Creek, I don’t think I ever will. I still like it as much as when I first discovered it. I read most if not all of the Creek fics available the first time I came across them.

But you know how when you like an authors work you click on their profile to see if there’s more? Well that’s when I discovered Style and Bunny. I’ve always loved the main four (five), but when I watched South Park originally I never thought too deep into their relationship until I started reading the fics and it just…clicked. It was like going down the rabbit hole. Creek was already canon but style and bunny wasn’t. So I rewatched every episode for each of their interaction and pretty much got tased with ideas and revelations, and I felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. It then came to my attention that Style and Bunny didn’t have as much fics as Creek, so I thought it was my duty as a writer to dish some in. Creek was doing good in of itself, let me go ahead and support Bunny and Style. And now wallah, now we’re here.

In reality, I actually have 2 completed One shots for Creek. And then another 2 chapters of a multi-fic. I want to post them, I have toyed with the idea and told you guys as much. I believe I have their character and dynamic down due to all the fics I read and how many times I’ve watched the show. But I don’t post them for one reason only—and that is because of time. I cater to two parts of the South Park fandom, clear as day, Bunny and Style—and if I add Creek into the mix you guys would probably be waiting like 5 months for just a crumb of your ship. (I’m a VERY picky writer) For example, I just posted something about Bunny so my next posting would be about Style. I have a schedule for things in the effort to keep my two ships happy.

Not only does making you guys wait a while for a chapter not ideal, but I also lose a lot of readers during said waiting period. I’ve seen loyal readers who used to leave me comments on every chapter and fic leave and I know I mostly lost them because we, naturally as humans, change all the time. So our interests changes as well. They like new stuff, South Park is no longer as important, which usually leads to them not wanting to read South Park fics anymore. It makes me sad no longer seeing the names I look forward to in the comments because we aren’t who we were XYZ months ago. But I know that’s what I risk by writing the way I do. I completely understand it, and I accept it.

As for ‘The Days After I Wished for You,’ I haven’t lost interest at all. If I haven’t updated a fic in a while, it’s not that I lost interest—I’ve never once lost interest in any of the fics I started—it’s more of I don’t know how to write the story I want to write. ‘The Days After I Wished for You’ goes into certain deep themes like addiction and depression, and I just don’t want to be ignorant about the topics and portray them like shit. And I’ve heard some people say “it’s just a fanfic it’s not that deep just write a chapter’ but…real life people are going to read this. And I feel like I have certain responsibilities as a writer to at least try to tread certain topics right because there are real people in the world who are going through the same thing and some might even be reading what you write. That’s different if you’re writing crack fics of course, but I’m not so I can’t go about half assing stuff. It’s just not what I want to do. Like when I wrote the style m-preg fic?? It’s literally an omega verse fic but it was still in draft for so long because I wanted to research actual pregnancy and portray it and it’s issues to the best of my abilities. Did I actually do that?? I have no clue! But I tell myself everyday that I tried my best and so far haven’t receive messages from people saying it’s flat out wrong so I’m satisfied with it for the time being. I’m a very picky writer and my writing process usually requires me to rewrite a scene 2-3 times, that’s just the norm. But ‘The Days After I Wished for You,’ is so complicated I have actually re-written a scene 6 times. So that’s just how it is 😅

So yes, ahem, very sorry for the long rant—it was just a wonderful question and one I couldve yapped about for like hours, the finality of it is that I still love Creek, I’m working on ‘The Days After I Wished for You,’ as we speak!! I hope you have a great rest of your day as well and please stay safe and hydrated!! 🤍🤍

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

Hello tumblr user coffee-without-anesthetics can you explain Miligram to me like I'm your 80 year old grandmother who doesn't understand why she needs to decide why she needs to either vote to "forgive or do not forgive" this nice-looking lad/lass when you handed the phone to her and told her to tap the button you pointed out

hello!!! yes i can tumblr user kayoi1234, but too bad you're getting the full recap (miligram made me giggle, nice)

alright so we've got 10 buddies (prisoners) in this Milgram prison who are all technically guilty of "taking a life" (not killing someone, only around four of them did that from what we know.)

in the beginning, this is all the info available.

there's 3 trials over the course of years, 1 of which already fully passed, the second of which is more-or-less on the edge being finished -> as im writing this, you can vote for 2 characters, and the last 2 are yet to be judged at all

during each trial:

the official youtube channel releases a new MV (song) about the character currently being judged. (and a cover of a deco*27 song on spotify)

a voice drama of a discussion between the character and the warden (Es) is uploaded on spotify. an english translation by fans is usually uploaded not long after on youtube

and later, when both of the above has been realized for two characters

interrogation questions are answered on twitter. (here's the fan eng account)

INFO 1: in official sources (website etc) they use "guilty or innocent". this is misleading. they're all guilty of something. the only question is your forgiveness. INFO 2: the official english translations of the songs sometimes Suck Major Ass (see: Undercover), but theyre fine enough most of the time.

now that we're onto trial2 we know what an unforgiven vote does, which is: less privileges/freedom, more restrains, mental state done did fucked up if they care, more but can't remember right now.

in-universe, the warden judges them. you influence the judgement with daily votes.

and the most important of all: any reason to judge is a good reason!!

unforgiven cause you think they're reprehensible? sure! forgiven cause theyre cute? yeah! forgiven for the lolz? why not!

…there's also the question if this all is technically a infohazard because by knowing about the vote and then abstaining from voting (or not doing anything at all) is still participating anyway.

TLDR: over time you get more info about 10 characters who all took a life, and with that info you decide whether you forgive them or not in three trials

if you wanted basic info you can stop here.

diversity win! the amnesiac nonbinary 15 y/o prison warden with identity issues can hear the voice anyone who's ever voted! neat!

in the beningening, no one knew what an unforgiven vote would do and the info we had about characters was spotty at best, but we still got 4 characters judged unforgiven.

now more fun stuff!!

(im gonna use prisoner numbers not names cuz i don't wanna type allat)

unrelated: there's a side spin-off manga (???) called minigram. i have no idea what goes on there. random facts: 04 is half-french and the daughter of a landlord. 09 got diagnosed with DID via talking rabbit and teenager. 03 is the twitter-using guy who doxxed a kid to death. there's a fucking smokers club (05, 07 and 09). fun stuff all around

the thing is that the literal last character of the roster to be judged is a Justice Fanatic who got forgiven!! guess what she did to those who weren't.

long story short she got 03 blind in one eye, 06 now has a broken arm + bruised ribs + concussion iirc, 08 is a kid so she got skipped, and 09 fought back but you can see it took a lot.

why aren't any of them dead? the resident medic 05 was judged forgiven so he was free to help them.

there's no conclusion, *gestures at all of them* i just think they're neat

[randomthefox]

What exactly is your stance on remakes? I don't mean ports that are 99% the same with added content or old games with remastered graphics/remastered graphics options available, but actual, from-the-ground-up remakes? Me personally, I don't think remakes can ever replace a game from 5th gen and up (as well as SNES/Genesis remakes of NES games; those always look weird as hell).

As a general rule I think remakes are not only unnecessary, but actively harmful. People will often treat a remake as a replacement for the original game, or see the original as obsolete because a remake exists, which impacts the discussion about the game or series and creates that problem where two fans ostensibly talking about the same piece of media will be talking at cross purposes about two completely different things. They are also damaging to the efforts of media preservation and archival efforts, because companies will treat the remake as more recent and valuable and thus not bother with rerelease efforts for the original.

In general, ports and remasters are good. Whatever word or method you wanna use that just means taking the same game that existed before, and releasing it on new consoles and platforms to make it more accessible to modern audiences. That's preservation. That's making sure everyone is talking about the same game. Personally, I don't even mind if they do waste everyone's time on a remake AS LONG AS the original game is made accessible, like with Konami remaking Metal Gear Solid 3 well at least they released the Legacy Collection so everyone can just play the original, or with Final Fantasy 7 the remake(s) might be there but the original is right on the digital store space as well and folks have zero excuse for why they can't just play it.

I also wouldn't mind a release that completely changes the graphics of the original as long as an option to experience those original graphics is made available, like the Tomb Raider Remasters and Halo Anniversary Edition. Spyro Reignited, much as I love it, fails in this regard.

On the whole I think remakes are bad and unnecessary, because they're pretty much only ever done for greedy short sighted reasons and not artistic ambition. They choose to remake a game because the game was already good and of significant importance, and thus they know they'll get a lot of buzz and sales for remaking it. If they were remaking arguably bad games and improving a flawed experience, that'd be one thing (I would argue Resident Evil REmake and to a lesser extent Yakuza Kiwami are both examples of this). But that's almost never what they're trying to do, they're often just going "HEY REMEMBER THIS COOL OLD GAME EVERYONE LOVES, WELL HERE IT IS AGAIN BUT WITH FANCY NEW GRAPHICS AND SHITTY NEW GAMEPLAY AND CELEBRITY VOICE ACTING!!!" and it's like fucking put a gun in my fucking mouth.

[ybcpatrick]

Hi!! If you don't mind me asking how did you get into wrestling/how do you keep up with it? Every time I see you post about it I'm reminded of my interest in it but severe lack of knowledge

hi!! i don't mind at all!! so, my answer here may not be too helpful, because i didn't decide to get into wrestling myself.

i've been watching since the day i was born (like no joke, i got here, forty minutes later smackdown came on and my parents had it on in the hospital room). for my entire life, i've been watching WWE with my parents. some of my earliest memories involve it, having it on in the background, asking questions, connecting with my mum and dad through their excitement at getting to give me answers.

the past few months have been the first time in my twenty-two years of existence that i've ever had to watch raw/sd without them, and that's only bc my parents' schedules have changed, and they aren't home in the evenings. (but even now, i'm still not watching alone, bc i accidentally got my best friend tiana @heartbreakfeelsogood into it, too, and we're having the time of our LIVES.)

but, even though i didn't get into it, the interest was just Given To Me, i do still have some advice for you if you wanna start watching (and i'm using WWE as my general example here, bc it's the biggest wrestling promotion in the world, and it's the one i watch most):

• wrestling isn't actually wrestling:

the match outcomes in pro wrestling are pre-determined, because it's not meant to be a legitimate competition; it's a vehicle for storytelling. it's a tv show about a wrestling show, closer to live theatre or a soap opera. it is still a sport, and the wrestlers are incredibly skilled athletes, and if something looks like it hurt really bad, It Fucking Did. but, they're fictional characters that exist halfway in their own universe and halfway in ours, who experience time at the same speed we do. you can watch them learn, grow, and change, in real time, for years, even decades.

wrestling is fake, and that causes people to brush it off as stupid. but wrestling being fake is exactly why it's good.

• there is no beginning, and there is no end:

wrestling never ends. ever. literally ever. monday night raw has aired every single week, without fail, since january of 1993. like it just never fucking stops.

because of that, there's no good place to start as a new fan. you just gotta dive in headfirst. WWE programming/commentary is very accommodating to new viewers, they take time to replay important segments you may have missed, and explain past events so you have context for what you're watching. anything else, google and youtube. if you wanna dig into wrestling history, there are some great video essayists on youtube who delve into it; my personal favourite is wrestling bios.

in the US, raw's on mondays @ 8pm EST on USA, and smackdown's on fridays @ 8pm EST on FOX. there's other wwe programming on thru the week, too, and all of it is also available on peacock. in canada, i have sportsnet for watching live, and the wwe network as well. if you're in another country, look it up and check. (i can give you my streaming site if you DM me, too, if you're respectably interested in 🏴‍☠️, but bear in mind that ripping WWE shit is Weirdly Fucking Tricky sometimes, bc capitalism is a prison.)

• pick one promotion, go from there:

there is so much fucking wrestling, it's super overwhelming, you genuinely cannot watch it all. WWE, AEW, NJPW, Impact, WOW, the list goes on and on and on and on. pick one company to start, branch out later if it piques your interest.

if you want sparknotes on shows you missed/shows from promotions you don't keep up with, there are a million review channels on youtube to recap them. i do that personally to know what's happening in AEW, bc i don't watch their stuff week-to-week. i like whatculture wrestling's ups and downs series, the host simon is incredibly positive and fun-loving, and it's great.

• remember it is not that serious, and a lot of the internet wrestling community doesn't know what fun is:

wrestling makes people mad sometimes. fans who are really deep into it/the backstage stuff, called marks/smarks, are the most fickle, bitchy group of people on the fucking planet. if you wanna interact with other wrestling fans, on any social media, just remember that you're allowed to have your opinions and they're allowed to have theirs, and just because they say a match/story/whatever is shitty doesn't mean it actually is. wrestling fans love complaining more than they love wrestling itself.

it's just like any other fandom; step in, look around, find your friends, hang out with them and don't bother with the bullshit. if wrestling's pissing you off more than it is entertaining you, you can take a break from it. it's just a show!

if you wanna watch, just start. you'll pick it all up as you go. i think it's the coolest form of storytelling there is, and i think you'll have fun. BE FREE!