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agent-whiskeys-sweetheart · 4 years ago

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Meant To Be

Pairing: Hotch x F!Reader

Summary: You are studying to be an FBI profiler with a little over a year left before graduation. When the BAU team shows up in your town for a case you jump at the chance to shadow them for a day. However, things quickly take a turn when you meet Aaron Hotchner, your future boss. And the most breathtaking man you’ve ever met.

Warnings: None! A little dramatic??? This is a purely self indulgent, love at first sight kind of fic so just prepare yourselves.

Word Count: 4,063

A/N: So I had a mild stroke trying to figure out the timeline for this series so please just don’t look too much into it lol.

MAY 2006

FORT WORTH, TX

It was just barely six in the morning when you pulled into the parking lot of the precinct. Although the sun hadn’t peaked over the horizon yet, you were surprisingly awake. In preparation for the day you had gone to bed at eight the night before which left you well-rested and alert. There was no way you were going to let yourself be off your game. Not today. Of all your classmates, you had certainly progressed the quickest. Due to your high success rate, your professor had authorized you to shadow the team of FBI profilers that were coming to your city for a case. It was an amazing opportunity for someone with a over a year left before graduation so you immediately accepted. Not allowing yourself to make even the slightest mistake, you planned everything down to the last detail in the days leading up to this. Nothing would be able to faze you. With the confidence of a woman who’d been working in this precinct all her life, you strode into the lobby. The receptionist asked for your ID which you quickly displayed. It was only temporary but even so, there was a certain amount of power you felt when she cleared you to continue into the building. After stopping briefly to ask for directions you made your way back to the Police Chief’s office. When he hears your knock, he looks up from his paperwork with a polite smile.

“Well, good morning. What can I help you with?” Clearing your throat, you prepare your most professional voice as you reply.

“My name is Y/N L/N. We met earlier this week. I’m going to be shadowing the team of profilers who are flying in today.” Recognition crosses his features as he makes his way over to shake your hand.

“Of course. I remember. It’s nice to see you again. You’re very punctual. That’s a good skill to hang on to.” You smile in gratitude. “Well, the profilers aren’t here just yet. If you’d like you can wait in here or we can find an empty desk for you.”

“Actually, I was hoping I could look over the case files. I’d like to be as up-to-date as possible before they arrive.” As he nods, the two of you make your way into the hallway. Towards the back corner of the common workspace is an empty desk that he allows you to sit at. While you put your things down and take a seat he disappears long enough to retrieve a file folder and set it on the desk in front of you.

“This should be enough information for you to be able to help out. If you’ve got any questions in the meantime, you know where I’m at.” With another polite smile, he leaves you to continue his paperwork. It doesn’t take long for you to read the case file. There had been a conspicuous string of murders in the area, which began about two weeks ago. Four couples were murdered in their homes, all wealthy without children. A list of witnesses and family members had been compiled to make the interview process a little easier. You predicted you’d most likely be helping one of the profilers in questioning the people on this list so you tried your best to memorize the names.

It seemed like hardly any time had passed when you heard the main doors of the precinct opening to reveal a group of five people walking up to the receptionist’s desk. The sight of them immediately perked you up. It was difficult to make out any individual faces at first but you knew these must be the profilers. As they each scanned their IDs and made their way into the main workspace you quickly gathered your things so that you would be ready to move the moment they were. It didn’t take long for the Chief of Police to reappear, welcoming the profilers and showing them where they could set up their equipment. Every member of the team had a distinctly different look and behavior but they all seemed to work in unison. Even though they’d only been there for five minutes they exuded professionalism and efficiency. As you watched them you had to remind yourself to breathe. You had as much right to be there as them. Admittedly they did have a lot more experience than you but that didn’t change the fact that you’re all on the same team now.

Waiting patiently, you finish putting the case file back together and fold your hands to rest them on the edge of the desk. When the Chief of Police calls you over you gather up your things and make your way around the various desks to stand next to him.

“This here is Miss L/N. She’s a student at our local university. She’s gonna be tagging along with you guys today for a little real-world practice.” As he introduces you, you take the opportunity to study the faces of the people in front of you. There is only one you recognize for certain. They all have their attention set on you as well which makes you suddenly very aware of yourself. “Anyway, I’ll let you all introduce yourselves.” With a nod, he turns to speak to you. “If you don’t mind stopping by my office at the end of the day, I’ll get you all checked out alright? In the meantime, have fun I guess.” He adds with a laugh before finally leaving you alone with the others.

The first one to extend his hand to you is the one person you are familiar with. More than familiar, seeing as he is kind of your hero. You had been the one to initiate the arrangement, having sent him an email a few weeks ago. He had seemed more than willing to let you work with them for the day and he was nothing but helpful, just like you knew he would be. Seeing him now was nearly surreal.

“Y/N, I remember.” He begins, shaking your hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jason Gideon, as you know. Glad to have you on board.”

“It’s absolutely an honor to meet you, sir. I’ve been a follower of your work since I knew what profiling was. I am so grateful for this opportunity. I am more than ready to help in any way I can.” As you speak, a warm smile lights his face. One of friendliness and hope.

“Of course. I think I speak for my team when I say we’re grateful as well. Not many people in our field get a chance to guide the next generation to a life of helping others. Anything we can do to support you as a future member of our team, we’re happy to do.” This response is entirely heartfelt and shocking to you. Of all the ways you’d imagined this interaction starting, this wasn’t what you had in mind and yet it was exactly what you needed.

“Thank you, sir.” Was all you could manage as you work to maintain your fading air of professionalism.

“Well, with that I’ll let everyone do their own introductions.” Almost immediately another man stepped out of line and reached for your hand. He was very conventionally handsome and the way he carried himself told you he knew that he was good-looking. The smile he flashed you was contagious as you shook hands with him.

“Nice to meet you, sweetheart. I’m Agent Derek Morgan and I am very excited to get to know you.” The woman next to him has to pull him away, shooting him a look. She seems very severe and yet when she turns to look at you there is a distinct kindness in her eyes.

“Knock it off Morgan. You’re gonna scare her off before she even gets a chance to meet anyone else.” She says over her shoulder, taking your hand. “I’m Elle. If he keeps bugging you, I’ll be more than happy to rough him up for you.” Morgan holds his hands up defensively when he catches Elle’s eye again before giving you a small wink.

“Nice to meet you both.” It’s hard to contain your laughter but you manage, giving a small smile instead. Another woman is standing beside Gideon who shakes your hand. She is very beautiful and seems to exude confidence and grace.

“I’m JJ. I’m the Communications Liaison for the BAU. We spoke briefly last week.” You nod in recognition. She had helped you coordinate the time and place to meet up for the day.

“Of course. Very nice to meet you in person.”

“Likewise. We’re excited to be working with you.” She gives you a warm smile which you gladly return before looking to the last person in the small group. He looks to be about your age, very sensibly dressed with a nice posture. There is a slight awkwardness in the way that he shakes your hand but he gives you a quick smile and you can see that he has a hidden friendliness in his demeanor.

“I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.” He says shortly to which you politely nod.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” With that, you turn back to Gideon to ask about your assignment for the day. However, you can’t help but feel like something is missing. “I read through the case file this morning so I can be of use wherever I’m needed. Did you have an assignment in mind or will I be moving around throughout the day?”

“I think it would be beneficial for you to work with SSA Hotchner. He should be here any minute.” That’s what was missing. Hotchner. You had heard his name before but you didn’t know much about him. As you waited for him to arrive, Gideon began delegating tasks to each of the other members. Despite not being given a task yet you listened intently until the front doors of the precinct opened.

However you had pictured Hotchner, the man that walked through that door was the furthest thing from what you expected. The sight of him striding in from the lobby made your breath catch in your throat. There was an innate power in the way that he moved. So much purpose and intensity. His eyes were dark and they found your face almost immediately. It was enough to make you squirm but you maintained your composure. Gideon turned to greet him before gesturing back towards you. “This is Y/N L/N. She’s a student who is here to shadow the team for the day.”

With the slightest hesitation, you extended your hand toward him. His eyes didn’t leave yours for a moment as he shook your hand.

“I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner. It’s very nice to meet you.” He spoke with a clear sense of professionalism.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I’m looking forward to working with you. I have a feeling I’m going to learn a lot from this experience.”

“I hope so. It was very smart of you to seize this opportunity. It does not come around often. Soak up everything you can today and I’m sure it will bring you a lot of success in the future.” You listen to him intently, nodding with a small smile.

“Hotch, would you mind if she rides along with you today? We’ve got a list of witnesses we need to speak to and I think it would be good for her to get out in the field rather than being stuck here doing paperwork.” Gideon interjects, looking to both of you as he proposes the idea. Hotchner looks around the precinct briefly for the other team members before giving Gideon his attention again.

“Of course. Do I need to brief her on the case?”

“Actually, I already familiarized myself with the case file before you all got here this morning.” You interrupt before Gideon can respond, causing both the men to look at you. “Sir.” You add, clearing your throat. They both share a knowing look.

“Perfect,” Hotchner replied, with a respectful nod. Satisfied with the interaction, Gideon dismissed himself to begin his work leaving the two of you alone. “Give me a few minutes to speak with the Chief of Police and then we can get started. Would you mind waiting out front for me?” You nod eagerly which prompts him to walk back toward the Chief’s office. Once he has disappeared around the corner you make your way to the front of the building, stepping through the main doors. The cool morning air brings with it a sweet wave of relief. You hadn’t realized how hot you were until you had stepped outside. Nerves were already building up in your system when you were being introduced to the rest of the team but meeting Hotchner had tipped you over the edge. There was no denying that he was a very handsome man. The evidence was in the blush that was surely covering your face. Mentally scolding yourself you take a deep breath. You were a professional and you would act as such. No matter how deeply moved you felt when he looked into your eyes like that.

A few minutes later Hotchner made his way through the front doors causing you to stand at attention. Moving briskly, you followed him into the parking lot and pulled yourself into the passenger seat of the dark SUV he had just unlocked. He remained silent as he began typing an address into the GPS before pulling out of the parking lot. Once you were on the road he looked over at you briefly.

“How much do you know about questioning witnesses?” He began.

“Quite a bit. I’m only about a year away from graduation so I have a fairly advanced understanding of a wide variety of concepts that pertain to profiling.” Watching the GPS, he nods. Feeling a tinge of awkwardness, you allow your eyes to stay focused on your lap.

“Good. Any real-world experience?”

“Unfortunately no. In my courses, we do simulate certain scenarios fairly often but there isn’t much opportunity for real application.”

“Well the best advice I can give for today is to stay quiet and watch me. If I need you to speak up, I will tell you as much. Otherwise, don’t say anything. It isn’t that I distrust you. It would just be irresponsible of me to allow someone with zero field experience to question the victim’s friends and family during some of the most difficult times of their lives. Especially without having seen what they’re capable of beforehand. I’m sure you understand.”

“Oh absolutely. I completely understand. I know that I’m here in more of an observational capacity today. And even if I wasn’t, you’re the boss. No explanation necessary.” Hotchner is quiet for a moment. If you hadn’t been so preoccupied with avoiding eye contact, you would have seen the remnants of a smile on his face.

“I should have you talk to the rest of the team. They could learn a thing or two from you.” This causes you to laugh lightly.

When you finally do decide to look at him the sight steals your breath yet again. He is bathed in the golden light of the rising sun and he seems almost ethereal. You can see a flash of his deep brown eyes which seemed very soft now in the glow of the sun. As though he could feel you looking at him he turns to meet your eyes although this time you don’t look away. The two of you sit there in what seems like the most eternal moment, dancing in and out of each other before he breaks away to look back at the road. For a moment you could almost swear you saw something there in his eyes, something almost like longing. It must have just been a trick of the light.

“So, what made you decide to be a profiler?” The moment is over as quickly as it began as he speaks up.

“Well, I’ve always had a deep fascination with the human psyche. Finding out what makes people tick. Picking apart their personalities, their behaviors. Growing up that almost felt like the only way to understand the kids around me. By studying them. Every friendship I had felt like a science project. When I found out that I could use that ability to be part of something bigger than myself, to make the world just a little brighter ... well, it was really a no-brainer.”

“That’s very ... noble and, honestly, very uplifting to hear. With this job, you experience a lot more bad days than you do good. Sometimes it is hard to remember why we started doing this in the first place. It’s people like you that remind me this job is worth it. Hang on to those beliefs. They’ll help keep you sane, I can promise you that.” With a nod, you give him a kind smile.

“I will. I promise.” It isn’t much longer before you arrive at the first house. The interview is fairly straightforward. You stay close by Hotchner’s side as he introduces the both of you. Once you’re inside you sit quietly as he begins asking questions, merely listening and taking mental notes of the way he conducts himself. It is over fairly quickly and then you’re both back in the SUV and off to your next destination. The next two interviews are the same. On the third, he lets you ask a few routine questions. It is a simple gesture but you are very grateful for the experience and you handle yourself very well.

Your final interview is with the parents of the latest male victim. When Hotchner knocks on the door, it takes a minute for it to open. Standing on the other side is an older man with a tired expression.

“Yes? What is it?” The man says briskly. Hotchner pulls out his badge.

“I am SSA Aaron Hotchner with the FBI. This is Miss Y/N L/N. May we come in?” Hearing the term FBI causes the man’s expression to darken rather quickly as he looks between the two of you.

“Where’s your badge?” He questions, nodding in your direction. Remaining silent, you share a look with Hotchner. After a second of thought he gives you a small nod of approval.

“I’m not actually an FBI agent yet, sir. I’m a criminology student at the local university. I’m shadowing Agent Hotchner today as a learning opportunity before getting out in the field myself.”

“A learning opportunity?” It takes the man almost no time to answer and you can hear a significant shift in his voice. “You’re using my son’s death as a learning opportunity?”

“You misunderstand--” Hotchner begins in your defense before you quickly cut him off with your own response.

“Sir, I can’t begin to fathom what you’re going through. But I can promise you that my lack of experience is entirely made up for by my desire to see the person who did this to your son pay for it. It doesn’t take training to see that your son deserves justice for his death.” The man is silent but keeps his eyes locked on yours.

“My wife and I have already told the police everything we know.”

“We know, sir. It will only take a few moments of your time and anything you can tell us might be crucial in finding your son’s killer.”

“No. No, we’ve already talked about this more than any parent should ever have to. If it’s that important go ask the police what we said.”

“Please, sir--” Before he can finish, the man smacks the door frame.

“It took the deaths of eight innocent people for you to swoop in and save the day. You really think I want to waste a second of my time speaking with you? I have nothing more to say. Now get out of here.” With that, Hotchner nods before turning to leave which prompts you to quickly follow. As you get near the SUV you are startled by the sound of the man’s door being slammed shut. Once inside you release the breath that had been caught in your chest. When you look over at Hotchner his expression shows a deadly calmness and you are suddenly struck by the idea that he must be pissed at you.

“I’m so sorry. That was all my fault. I upset him. I shouldn’t have said anything to him. I should have just kept my mouth shut like you told me to. I had no right to do that. I’m sorry.” The crushing weight of embarrassment and guilt settled over you. This morning you had felt more than ready but now it seemed like the day had been filled with challenges you couldn’t possibly have prepared for. In only a few hours you had managed to show your boss that you are completely incompetent. You ready yourself for what must surely be his wrath however when he turns towards you his expression shifts from one of unwavering calm to gentle kindness.

“It’s okay. I’m not angry with you. What you said was perfect, it’s exactly what I would have said. You were establishing a rapport with him to gain his trust. You did the right thing. Believe me, it wasn’t you. There is nothing either of us could have said that would have gotten a different result.” When he sees that you are still wary he shifts in his seat to face you more directly. “As a future member of my team, you have my trust. You handled yourself very impressively today. You’re going to make a very fine addition to the BAU.”

His words ease your anxious mind as you nod quietly. Soon after Hotchner is pulling back out onto the street to take you both back to the police precinct. After a minute of silence he glances over at you.

“So ... are you still sure you want to do this?” The question catches you off-guard but it takes you no time at all to answer.

“More than anything.” This time you do catch the faint smile that crosses his lips which causes you to give a small smile in return.

“Good.” Is all he says for the rest of the ride back to the precinct.

The day is over much more quickly than you had hoped for. When you step back into the police building you make a beeline for the chief’s office, remembering his request that you find him again at the end of the day. You return your temporary ID and he fills out a form for your professor to verify your activity for the day. Once the formalities are over he bids you a good evening and shows you back out to the main workspace. The team all gather briefly to say their goodbyes as well. You thank Gideon profusely for allowing you to join them before shaking hands with the rest of the team members. As you make your way to the exit you see Hotchner standing near the main doors.

“Thank you so much for letting me tag along today. I really learned a lot.” As you say this you extend your hand which he quickly takes.

“Absolutely. It was a pleasure working with you and I look forward to seeing you again in a few years. In the meantime, here’s my card.” He reaches into his inside jacket pocket and pulls out his business card which he hands to you. “If you ever need anything, feel free to give me a call.” Tucking the card safely into your pocket you thank him with a smile before heading out the main doors to your car.

Once inside you pull the card out of your pocket and sit for a minute, staring at it. Unable to control yourself you let a giddy smile paint your face. After the day you had, a year has never seemed longer. The anticipation of your future at the BAU looms over you but rather than filling you with nerves it brings you hope and excitement for the things to come. Opening a small compartment on your dash, you tuck the business card away before heading home to get a good night’s sleep filled with wonderful dreams.

Tags: @talesfromtheguild @lannister-slings-and-arrows @gamingaquarius @gryffindorwriter @nopeforyou @sheerfreesia007 @roxypeanut @ohpedromypedro @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @readsalot73 @the-mechanical-angel @races-erster @maxlordd @pascalisthepunkest @paintballkid711 @hotchafterhours @h0tchner @ssahotchswife @ssahotchhner @technotic-prophecy @klinenovakwinchester

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365text · 5 years ago

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{ 2020 quarantine challenge :: day 1 } how i plan my days + my “study” schedule

basically a wEek in the LiFe of a bErkEley (graduating) senior + deep dive into how i plan and remember each day i spend in quarantine while still attending ~*zoom university*~ !! yeet

• an introduction •

because i spend a lot of time online, i find that my google calendar is the quickest and easiest way for me to manage my time !! though i use my planner / bullet journal on a daily basis to manage my TODOs (+ to journal), i find that gcal gives me the best flexibility and efficiency when it comes to actually planning out and scheduling my day!

the fact that i can check it on my phone while i’m on the go (hurray @ integration across devices) also helped a lot when i was still on-campus and didn’t have the ability to take out my planner from my backpack. and even now in quarantine, when i don’t want to be on my laptop, i can just quickly glance at whatever mobile device to see what i need to do next!

but ya, here comes a (very long) breakdown of how i use this system to keep my days goin’ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

(1) color coding + customizations

i am, as many of my friends have pointed out, an aggressive color-coder 👀 i just really like to be able to look at my calendar at the start of the day and have a good idea of what kind of things i need to take care of! to go through my separate calendars/categories in (reverse) order:

bright red (tests) || to remind me when my exams are, not that i’d forget 🤪

light gray (school) || all things school related! classes, student orgs, meetings, etc.

bright blue (teaching duties) || class i’m a TA for

dark blue (csm, aka more teaching) || student org i’m a part of

orange (exercise) || everything health + wellness related

yellow (events) || all my non-school related Events™ that i schedule (ie. socials, calls with friends, anything rly a step from a ~regular daily activity~)

maroon (chinese hw) || hw + projects assignment due dates

light green (daily) || my day-to-day activities

i like having separate categories correspond to colors that i associate with them too! bright red for alarm (exams lmao), light gray for school (muted, in the background hah), light green for daily (because it’s also more muted/in the background, but still prominent enough that i’ll notice it heh), and yellow for fun! events! (because it’s warm and cheerful).

(2) separate calendars customization

most of my colors correspond to separate calendars, partially because it’s faster to create a color-coded event if you have it in a separate calendar! at least, it is on desktop heh. and also! i find that it’s easier to customize more things on an individual calendar basis:

notifications: each calendar/category has different notification settings. my “tests” calendar reminds me 1 week + 2 weeks in advance, "school” is just 10 min. in advance, whereas “daily” has no reminders at all! i customized these settings according to how often i felt like i needed help remember when certain things were.

colors (lol): in case it wasn’t obvious, colors matter a lot to me LOL. you can choose your own custom colors if it’s a separate calendar, and you can only use the google calendar default colors if you’re “recoloring” an existing calendar event.

display: it’s nice to also be able to toggle on/off various calendars!

but ya those are the main reasons why i use separate calendars instead of just recoloring the events in a single calendar!

(3) creating structure

because as a college student we usually have a good amount of free/flexible time, i find creating structure to be very important for me — and this is true for almost all students now during times in quarantine, when everything is kind of up in the air / go-at-your-own-pace.

i feel like the nice thing about being a student is that we usually have repeating events, so i like to set recurring calendar events to help create a regular structure on a weekly basis. usually i sit down at the start of the semester with my schedule/syllabi and just add everything in one go.

and now in quarantine, even if you aren’t given a schedule to follow and if working with a schedule is helpful for you, then creating that structure yourself is a nice way of adding consistency and stability back into your life :’)

the first calendar photo is how my gcal looks at the start of the week before any planning happens!

(4) time blocking

i once read that time blocking (re: setting aside chunks of time for a single task) is optimal for efficiency / mental energy. typically it’s easier for people to focus on one task for an extended period of time (with breaks) than it is to multitask or context-switch super often.

i also find that sometimes my schedule has weird gaps in it, due to the way my mandatory events are set up. so time blocking has helped me determine when i can get certain things done, or if i just wanna take a break in my awkward 30 min. gap between meetings!

the way that i time block is usually:

write in my planner all my (intended) TODOs + goals for the day

look at my calendar for the day + start planning when i’ll do which TODOs using my (default) calendar DAILY

i only plan the day of in my google calendar, because things change and who knows how much i’ll actually get done ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ also it’s a relaxing thing for me to sit there and journal/plan before i get started with my day hehe. a morning ritual, in a sense!

it also makes it a lot less stressful to look at my calendar, because i only ever look at the current day i’m on and what to do on that particular day. the interface of google calendar makes it really easy for me to drag events around and update time estimates as the day progresses too!

i also find it very useful for me to see what it’s actually possible to get done in my day, since sometimes my TODO list can be a lil’ too ambitious (oops 😋)

(5) daily logs + journaling

and lastly, i have some friends who have completely forgone their gcals since things moved online, but i have actually leaned on it even more —

one reason is all the stuff i listed above (structure, efficiency, also just habit at this point haha). but another really important reason to me is the logging that my gcal calendar creates! since i just spend every day at home, i feel like days were passing by a lot more quickly + in a blur, and by “writing down” everything i did/planned to do on gcal, i’m able to remember what i’ve been doing during these really interesting times o:

it helps me when i journal at the end of the day / the next morning, because i just look back at my gcal to reference what things i did, and then journal about how i felt about those activities.

• the ending •

aaaaand that’s it!

my super long documentation on how i’ve managed my time these past few years in college + in this 2020 quarantine era :’)

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sleepyxdarling · 5 years ago

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Yandere bois part one!

Let's meet my boys! I will probably write about them so it's best to get introductions out of them way yeah?

You can ask them questions..or request stuff for them if you even care lol

Yoshi, 19

Is a college student studying psychology

He manipulates his darling by crushing their self-esteem and makes them question everything

"no one is actually your real friend except me..they all hate you..I'm the only one who you can trust"

He likes to keep his darling fragile and weak

Is very blunt and cold

"you look weird today..all the guys are looking at you funny"

Will try to control his darling

"if you don't wear what I pick out for you then you are going to look ever grosser than normal"

"I'm the only one that can walk you home..do you want to get stabbed?"

"don't accept food from no one else.. I'll cook for you. They are calling you fat by giving it to you"

Is always making darling question her choices

"are you sure that was the right thing to do?"

"hmm..that wasn't very smart of you"

"do you want to be laughed at?"

If his plan works then he is very cocky and a tease while often degrading them

"whose a good little freak? You are!"

Very possessive

Adores talking down to his darling

"you are just a cute little whore huh? You're basically begging me to touch you..well what if I say no?"

Sadistic af!

Now if his plan doesn't work..

"you're still not listening to me?! You're just a little whore huh?!"

Will kidnap his darling and give them intense torture

"I am the only one you should listen to!"

"God I can't believe I'm in love with you! Such a filthy girl/boy"

Is far more violent and rough with his methods of affection

Suke, 18

Is a blind boy

His senses are on point though

He can smell that you ate a waffle for breakfast three hours ago

He can feel exactly what your clothes are made of

He can taste.. everything!

He is super quiet and polite

"hey [name]...do you want to go to the coffee shop?"

Comes from a poor family so he works at a cafe to get more money

His confession is very sweet

"[name]..you make my world of darkness full of light..please be mine"

If they say yes..cool! If not...

"why...why are you being cruel..is it cause I can't see?"

Full on rips the bandage around his eyes off and grabs his darling by their shoulders while he's crying

"you...you are all I care about! Please!"

If they say no again..

"I see..then I can not let you leave.."

His method of kidnapping would be to strangle them then bring them home

His parents work two maybe three jobs so they are gone a lot

Will keep his darling in his room

"I love you..I love you so much"

Is constantly touching his Darling and smelling them

Will go to their house and bring back their clothes and other things to make them feel at home

When he's out at work he puts headphones on his darling and forces them to listen to a recording of his voice

He will also gag them and blindfold them along with typing them to his bed

When he has enough money saved up he will take his darling and move into a nice one bedroom house

Will get a better job and be able to take care of them better

Shun,18

Baby boy!

Hyper and all around happy

Is a master at baking

Can legit make anything taste good

Is always happy to his darling and just clingy

"[naaaammmmeee]! I missed you! I super missed you!"

"I've been gone for 2minutes"

his darling will be his taste tester

"[name]! I made bonbons! Eat them for me!"

Is fawned over by other people but he isn't for it

"haha thanks for calling me cute..buuut..I'm totally in love with [name]!"

Legit does not care about being private about his feelings..if his darling rejected him..

Will legit break down crying

"no..nonono...please no..you have to be my prince/princess!"

He will pull his darling into a hug and stab a needle into their back

He came very prepared

When they wake up they will be in an expensive penthouse

They are tied to a chair and shun is cooking for them

Will be super happy to have his darling there that he will ignore all questions they have

If they refuse to eat his food or act out in violence then he will not be happy

"why are you being so mean...I love you so much and you are being totally rude.."

He will be a lot more forceful but he will always say it's all for love

If they try to escape he will track them down and drag them back

He is delusional so he thinks his darling is just being rude cause they need to adjust to this life

Ryo,22

He is a famous reporter

He usually gets interviews with celebrities

He is so fed up with celebrities and their stuck up ways

He is even more fed up with the fans

Will often get request from weird fans

"no..I can not get you jumin's hair..fucking weirdo"

His darling surprised him for sure

He didn't expect to fall in love

He will be more of a distant lover

Likes to take pictures of his darling both in secret and when they know it

"hey..I need to test out this new camera lens so be my model"

He is a Total lazy boy

Would rather lounge around instead of working

His confession will be more of a casual one

"[name]...date me."

If they say no..

"all those cute celebrities get the one they want but I can't..? You are selfish"

Is the most insane out of the others

Will kidnap his darling by hitting them on the head and dragging them into his car

They wake up in a room with pictures of them all over the walls

Ryo is all over them

Touching them

Kissing them

"my sweet star.."

He Will take pictures of them while they are crying

If they behave he will give them more freedom

As punishments he will break their fingers or their legs

The quickest one to want sex

Will take photos while they do it

"you look so good.."

When he goes to work his darling will be tied up and an automatic camera will be placed infront of them

A huge pervert and likes to take panty shots of his darling

#yandere #ocs #yandere imagines

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moistwithgender · 7 years ago

Text

Curry Read 60s Marvel, King-Size, Nuff Said

According to my tag, it took me about a month to get through this decade (eight years, technically), spending most of my free time reading. I’ve been following Comic Book Herald’s “My Marvelous Year” reading guide because it seemed like the quickest way through while cutting out the chaff. This was not...consistently the case. But, I’m still glad I followed it because this started out with me just chewing through early Spider-Man in black and white (don’t do this to yourself, nice flat colors do wonders for these older stories). I’m gonna go ahead and give the disclaimer that because I was following a speedy reading guide, I missed a lot of stuff, so if you know some really good issues I missed feel free to say so.

I’m afraid to type all this out because it’s a lot and idk where to start!

Okay well I have one idea of where to start.

Fantastic Four

This is Marvel’s best series up to this point and the fact that we’ve had so many garbage movies is a tragedy (don’t @ me about The Incredibles, I know). The FF comics are consistently the most fun, the weirdest, and the most creative.

Going through my reading list, I had to skip parts of FF, which is probably going to be where more of the good stuff was. Though, I will say that I prefer the latter half of the decade over the first half. FF started off with Mole Man, Skrulls (something I first realized was a thing back when they showed up in MvC3), The Puppet Master, The Red Ghost... The first few years of FF was probably best whenever it involved Namor and Doctor Doom. I don’t think anyone’s gonna argue with that. The latter half had The Inhumans, Galactus, The Silver Surfer, Black Panther, the Negative Zone... a whole lot of neat stuff! I actually missed the introduction of the Negative Zone, so all of a sudden Reed’s just got a portal to A Very Bad Place in the middle of his lab and he keeps opening it whenever things get slightly inconvenient. Stop doing that, Reed.

Highlights: - Namor being Namor. Usually at his best as a fish out of water (heh) in human society. With his absurd monarchic pride, and his occasional anti-hero tendencies, he’s...kind of like a wet Vegeta in hot pants. - The Thing. For a while he was back and forth as a character I liked or tolerated, and his incessant backtalk would occasionally become one of those “telling an unfunny joke until eventually it’s hilarious” things. - The Watcher. A being so committed to his vow to never interfere with the fate of the universe that he jack-knifes out of his lane every single time he gets the chance. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME HE WATCHED THE BIRTH OF GALACTUS AND DID NOTHING. THANKS UATU. - The fact that Doctor Doom is a Romani character being written by Jewish authors. That’s a lot to unpack. - The Sandman. Wait, you say, you mean that one Spider-Man villain who was played by the guy from the sitcom Wings? Yeah, it turns out once he’s done being a Sinister Six villain, he goes on to harass the Fantastic Four and gets his own Jack Kirby style super villain outfit!

Look at that badboy. Also he teams up with an angry furry made of explosions from the hell dimension that is the negative zone. - The Inhumans. All of these kids are cool, Lockjaw is an adorable giant bulldog that can teleport across infinite distances, and even Maximus is some sort of play on Shakespeare villains. The fact that differentiating these guys from mutants is really awkward. The short version (if I have it right) is that mutants are born with a unique x-gene, and inhumans come from a hidden society that commonly did genetic manipulation on its citizens at birth. - Galactus. He is arguably the weirdest thing Marvel has in this decade. A thirty foot tall man who flies around the universe and eats planets. He’s literally so powerful that he and the narrative both treat his eating habits as natural, and any victims that happen to get in the way as unfortunate but unintended sacrifices because GALACTUS MUST NOT DIE. Galactus is a vegan metaphor (maybe). - The Silver Surfer. The shiniest, angstiest boy in the multiverse. Originally from a planet where global society had literally hit its logical utopic conclusion, he was bored as shit. Galactus comes along, the entire planet gets spooked and blows itself the fuck up on accident, and Norrin Rad agrees to be Galactus’ herald and pick out planets safe to eat if he leaves his planet alone. Sometime after that he gets punished for trying to fight Galactus, and is punished to remain on Earth, where he would play around with being a very obvious Jesus analogy for a while. - That time where a guy impersonates The Thing in order to kill Reed, and then ends up getting respect for Reed and sacrificing himself atop a meteorite speeding off into an atmosphere of explosions. Really fucked up issue, honestly. - Black Panther. Wakanda is not as cool as it would eventually be portrayed, and BP’s first appearance is as an antagonist (he kidnaps the FF and hunts them for sport), but he has a fucking slick cape. - That time Doctor Doom stole The Silver Surfer’s infinite cosmic power and nearly fucked up everything for everybody for four straight issues. Also he got into a fist fight with the Thing, which is like...hell yeah. - The Negative Zone. WHY DO YOU HAVE A WINDOW TO HELL IN YOUR HOUSE, REED. - The Kree. I have no idea why the Kree are just white people in space. Bad move imo, even Namor’s race are mostly blue people. Anyway, there’s a rad fight with a sentry robot, and a decent introduction to Ronan the Accuser, who you might remember was the (reasonably overshadowed) villain in the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 movie, where he is blue. - Psycho Man. This guy has a remote control that makes you feel emotions and that’s kinda dumb but more importantly he’s from a microscopic universe and controls a non-microscopic robot version of himself to fight the FF and the implications of all that is absurd. - Reed goes into the negative zone (again) to try and find something he knows nothing about that might help his pregnant wife and unborn child survive the gamma radiation they still have in their bodies. He gets pretty lucky. Jesus christ, dude.

The worst parts of the FF this decade is probably every time Susan gets the shaft because she’s a woman, whether it’s her being talked down to by Reed or whether it’s her being written as way more concerned about ~lady things~ when things are going to hell. In the issue where her life is on the line and the baby is coming and Reed has to go into the negative zone, she doesn’t even make an appearance until like the last page. Susan deserves better. My reading guide actually didn’t recommend any 1969 issues of FF? I wonder what was going on...

Oh, skrulls impersonating 1920s gangsters and doing super-human trafficking, of course. Well, let’s move on.

The Incredible Hulk (Tales to Astonish)

I have had a soft spot for the Sulk ever since...probably the 2003 three Ang Lee film? Where I realized that 1) Bruce has bad dad issues and no one likes him, and 2) Hulk isn’t just a big boy, he is really fast and jumps crazy far and that’s a physical concept my teenage brain had never considered. I hadn’t even considered liking the Hulk growing up because I was so uncomfortable with almost all expressions of masculinity and machismo. My mom in fact was the one who told me “Don’t you want to see the Hulk? He’s big and scary like a bad guy, but he’s a good guy!” and I assume that’s what helped change my mind?

Anyway, Hulk has had a rough time in terms of popularity as well. His magazine lasted some six or seven issues before being canceled and his stories would continue, shorter, in Tales to Astonish, alongside Ant-Man (and eventually Namor’s own series). In the last few years of the decade he’d get a new magazine starting with The Incredible Hulk #102 (following Tales to Astonish #101... comic numbering is extremely bad), and...it’s okay so far! In the modern era, Hulk had a cartoon I never watched, a few nonstarter films, there was that series with Lou Ferrigno I know nothing about... He seems to always function best as a side hero. It doesn’t help that all the villains in his series are, like. Weird? Not like FF crazy weird, just like weird and not seemingly a great match for Hulk himself. Most of the ones that come to mind are dudes who are also mutated by gamma radiation or something else (and sometimes also green? why is the green supposed to be a common thread, that feels coincidental).

Which reminds me, Bruce is almost never present in what I’ve read so far. It’s just Hulk, usually talking way more than feels natural for him (it took a while for him to start speaking mostly in the third person). As a result, Hulk is usually given a very limited range of characterization and expected to coast on that, and it doesn’t often work. You have to put Hulk in casts and settings that complement him. For a while there he has a support character in Rick Jones, a (very uninteresting) teen boy who eventually can’t keep up with the increasingly antagonistic Hulk, bounces over to Captain America as a ward, eventually is confused by a cosmic cube-wielding, Cap-impersonating Red Skull, and fucks off on his own. He is immediately possessed by, and becomes a host for, Mar-Vell/Captain Marvel. I do not give a single fuck about Rick Jones.

In the earliest issues, the Hulk is gray, and also...just a non-furry werewolf. HE changes at night, until issue #102 retconned this.

Highlights: - That first issue has some really nice panels but I’m gonna say that’s all Jack Kirby’s doing. - Ends up harassing the FF, Spider-Man, the Avengers (after being one of them and then getting buttmad and running off), the Silver Surfer, the US military (regularly)... - Hulk goes to the far dystopic future?? He gets back I guess. - Hulk goes to Asgard! This is arguably the most interesting place to put him because all Odin’s warriors try to fight him and then decide lol this guy’s cool let’s go hang out. Meanwhile, Loki keeps fucking with him. But then the Enchantress and the Executioner become the villains and things get kinda boring again. - The Leader (that’s actually the name of a villain) makes a big robot and Hulk throws it into a volcano and then activates said volcano with his FISTS to fuck it up. Then he manually diverts a nuclear missile into the atmosphere after suddenly caring about people even though he has no reason to. Shrug! - Hulk goes to Attilan, the hidden nation of the Inhumans! There’s potential for interesting stuff here, but it’s mostly wasted by a full cast of extremely uninteresting one-off characters. This is all in a double length annual issue with a gorgeous cover by Jim Steranko, but the issue itself is drawn by Marie Severin. She does good stuff! But Steranko’s work is gorgeous.

Whatever!

The Mighty Thor (Journey into Mystery)

Thor’s winged helmet is really dumb, goodnight everybody!

Okay but yeah Thor started out in the Journey into Mystery magazine, and I guess I’d describe his stuff as... Dungeons and Dragons by Marvel? I struggle with it aesthetically but I like some of the ideas. Mjolnir is fucking cool, Asgard is both a real place and an planet (a flat one, even?), fucking Olympus is also a place and Hercules exists, Loki is... well, Loki hasn’t come into his own yet, but we’ll get there one day. On the other hand, some of the villains are dull as dishwater and a number of the good guys took their time getting interesting. Clearly there was some appeal, because he did eventually get his own magazine starting with Thor #126, I think? There’s that bad numbering again.

A big weird problem with Thor is that originally he has a secret identity. Like. Donald Blake is a surgeon who needs to use a cane to walk, and he goes hiking by himself and gets lost I guess and finds a stick and it turns out oops it’s Mjolnir and he becomes Thor! And Thor is not just a new identity, but also a person that is both the Thor of Norse myth, and the actual son of Odin up in Asgard and has been so forever and aaaaaaa

Donald Blake is not super important. He mostly exists to give Thor a weakness in that he can’t let go of his hammer for 60 seconds or he’ll turn back into a guy with a PhD. Eventually, in the latter half of the 60s, they add on to his backstory in a way I like, by saying “oh no no, he was always Thor. At one point Odin punished him by sending him to Earth with amnesia and in the guise of a handicapped guy getting through medical school. For some reason.” Which really only makes his dual identities more confusing, and I actually dig that. The MCU does not fuck with this at all, and I’m assuming the comics throw it out in the decades to come. Also, this semi-retcon was not included in the reading guide, I found it on accident. Anyway.

Highlights: - Thor joins the Avengers! I mean, duh, of course he does. He eventually leaves because he’s too popular and needs his own series or something. He occasionally pops back in to do cool stuff. - Thor accidentally ends up on Olympus and gets into a big sweaty fight with Hercules. They decide they are pals. This was an annual issue. - Thor goes into space! This is where things get good, and I really like Thor’s archaic ass as a cosmic sci-fi hero. Great juxtaposition. - Thor meets/fights Ego, the Living Planet! Okay, I said Galactus was the weirdest thing, and I was wrong. Ego is. Ego is almost as described on the tin, because he is actually described as an entire “bioverse”, and capable of changing the entirety of his physical makeup at any time. It is intensely cool. He’s also kind of evil and wants to spread out to control everywhere. Also, Thor makes friends with a nice recording robot and becomes an ally of robot rights. - Thor dies! A guy with a giant crowbar is accidentally given asgardian power by Loki, and then kills Thor because Thor has lost his power because Odin is punishing him again. And then Hela shows up as the goddess of death and says hey Thor. And he says hold on I got this and gets back in his body and saves the day and it’s fine. Hela does what she does best, stand there and look cool and do nothing else.

god she’s hot

- Thor rescues Ego from Galactus? Kind of on accident, he’s just trying to save the people inbetween who got their planets ate. Actually though, this arc fucking kicks, and he hangs out with the recorder bot too. In the end, Ego is grateful and lets the planetless nomads live on him. - Thor hangs out with Galactus and listens to his tragic backstory! Then Thor decides he’s gonna hit him anyway, and Odin decides “that’s enough for this story arc” and whisks Thor off to fight a robot instead. - Volstagg. - Volstagg.

- VOLSTAGG.

- Thor’s dudes go to the human world and there are shenanigans. It is good.

The Amazing Spider-Man

We all knew this was coming. Marvel’s own Pikachu. Possibly the most popular superhero alive (well, second to Batman anyway). And probably the hero I cared about the most growing up. We got associated a lot because we share a name. Spidey is probably the coolest idea for a superhero anyone has ever had, and they better CGI gets, the better his fights look. I do not care how many QTEs are gonna be in that new videogame, I wanna look at Spidey swing. Spider-man is just cool cool cool cool.

Early Spider-Man comics are fucking boring! Goodnight everybody!

Okay just kidding sort of. Spider-Man takes a while to pick up, in my opinion, and I’m 100% positive part of that is because I’ve seen these early stories retold in better and better definition so many times. I watched the cartoon as a kid, but the Sam Raimi movies are probably what comes to mind when I think of Spider-Man. Steve Ditko nailed a fucking iconic costume design, and did a great job of visually communicating Spidey’s agility on paper. But, in the earliest issues there was rarely any variation in panel size and shape, and action scenes were laid out like diagrams. Both those factors, along with the fact that each panel had dialogue because Peter kind of never shuts up, meant that pacing slowed to a crawl, and I had to chew through those issues. Also sometimes he just fought, like, mobsters with lassos. Jesus christ that’s boring. As the decade goes on, we start getting some good stuff, and to be completely honest, I’m looking forward to the weird dumb 90s stuff the most?

Highlights: - Peter has a persecution complex and uses his secret identity to be an asshole! Even after Peter’s iconic and still very well written origin story, he spends a lot of time harassing people, good and bad. He regularly breaks into JJ’s office in costume and makes fun of him, he crashes the Torch’s party to beat him up and flirt with his girlfriend, he breaks into the Baxter building to fight the FF in hopes they’ll recruit him with pay, he...gets into an argument with black students who are very passionate about affordable housing? He wasn’t even in costume for that one. Jesus, Peter, go to a therapist. - Nobody likes Spider-Man! Kind of makes sense why he’s got those personality issues, though those start with jocks calling him a nerd (he’s a nerd). Half the city doesn’t trust him, he works for a newspaper that is dedicated to anti-Spidey propaganda (Peter, you’re partially at fault for this), even the X-Men just assume he’s a bad guy, and that’s usually a problem they have to deal with. - Really appropriate villains! Wow! The Vulture matches his high up action, Doc Ock is both another victim of weird science and an intellectual rival. Also, like, their namesakes have a lot of legs. The Lizard is...Florida Man. Maybe the better argument is that many of these villains are memorable, in a decade that featured a concerning amount of “large humanoid monster/robot” baddies in all of the running series. - Like the Green Goblin. Who knew that would be Spider-Man’s Joker? Maybe that’s a bad comparison. Also bats and clowns aren’t usually connected with each other. Where was I going with this. - Spider-Man tries to quit the superhero gig twice, I think? He’s the only Marvel hero to consider this, as far as I know. Part of Peter’s appeal is that not only is he a young adult, unlike the rest of Marvel’s adult cast, but he’s also financially disadvantaged, has a non-nuclear model family, and has to look out for his often ailing Aunt. He has to work a side job while going to school while fighting bad guys, and it’s a lot more interesting than what Tony Stark’s doing up to this point. This has all been said so many times by so many people, but it’s an obligatory mention. - Peter donates blood to Aunt May at one point and accidentally gets a radioactive particle in her body. OOPS. Spider-Man goes on a rampage to find an antidote and tears a metal stairwell off its hinges. He also, like, completely destroys a villain’s underwater base and nearly doesn’t get out himself. - The Green Goblin discovers Peter is Spider-Man! Most of the Marvel heroes have this anxiety, but it never ends up a problem, so this is pretty big. The Goblin kidnaps him in broad daylight, ties him to a chair in a secluded place, and infodumps his origin story that he’s actually the father of Peter’s college roommate and is kind of very unhinged and obsessed with Spider-Man? In the end, Gobby gets amnesia and forgets the whole supervillain and mental illness thing and turns back into a good dad. - Spidey goes to the Casbah! Yeah, go figure. He learns his parents were traitors to America, and it fucks him up so much he flies there to find the truth. He ends up exploding the Red Skull and learns his parents were actually double double agents and were spying for America and so things are a-okay!

also peter kills a dude with a missile

- That aforementioned thing about affordable housing happens! Some black college students are unhappy that the university is taking old dorms that could be used as low rent housing for students and instead giving it to visiting alumni, and start a big protest and the narrative actually pins them as sympathetic even when they get overzealous and physical? I’m...kind of surprised, to be honest. Not used to seeing this at all.

Ant-Man, and...other identities. (Tales to Astonish)

ima keep it real with u founding member of the avengers hank pym, this will not improve marvel’s declining sales

This guy is a goddamn mess.

People like to say “pfffft there’s an ant-man? that’s goofy! that’s the weirdest thing ever! that’s a bad idea!” and buddy let me tell you, Hank Pym has a career specializing in bad ideas. Let’s list them!

- Adopt a young woman while she is grieving over the loss of her father and take her in as both a crime-fighting ward (The Wasp!) and also a love interest. Feel bad about it for about five minutes so it’s okay. - Develop a “growth capsule” that allows you to turn huge and decide to adopt two super hero identities, Ant-Man and Giant-Man. Assume this will not confuse anyone. - Eventually do weird science to make it so you can grow and shrink at will. Assume this will not have negative repercussions on your body. - Change the name Giant-Man to Goliath because you feel like Giant-Man is a dumb name. Confuse everyone for multiple issues. - Get stuck as a twelve-foot tall 90s beverage mascot lookin ass motherfucker (you are terrible at costume design, hank) and get real mad at everyone all the time about it. - Create an evil robot called Ultron and forget about it. Oops! Surely this will be fine.

IT’LL BE FINE

- Fail to relate to your robot-grandson-turned-avenger The Vision. Be a bad grandpa. - Inhale chemicals and get all fucked up on temporary schizophrenia (???), adopting a second personality. Call yourself Yellowjacket, claim to have killed Hank, and kidnap your girlfriend and force her to make out with you. - When assaulting your girlfriend makes her, uh, somehow realize that you are Hank, she will rope you into marrying her, thereby...uh...legally cuckolding yourself I guess? Realize you are Hank during/after the wedding, and be perfectly fine with this egregious violation of consent. Nothing about this will have lasting negative consequences. - Adopt the identity of Yellowjacket, and abandon Goliath. Continue to confuse people. On the bright side, finally have a nice costume. - Make a new Goliath costume in celebration of refusing to ever be Goliath again (WHY), and store it and a beaker of growth serum (WHY) in an unlocked locker out in the open (WHY). Hawkeye will steal it and become the new Goliath II.

So far that’s everything about Hank-Man! Stay tuned to see more of this trainwreck.

Iron Man (Tales of Suspense)

YO THIS DUDE SUCKS

I really like Iron Man’s origin story and his overall concept but the tech culture would not advance far enough to match it for a while. Also this was in the era of the Vietnam War and so Tony’s greatest enemy is The Mandarin, an extremely awkward asian stereotype and I! Ain’t! Got! Time! For! That!

Avengers

The Avengers are, at their most interesting, characters already in their own magazines. At their worst, they’re a bunch of characters no one cares about, fighting villains no one cares about, with last second ass-pull victories. There was a brief period there were I suspected the Avengers magazine was going to be true gristle of Marvel I was gonna have to chew on for hours to get through. Thankfully we are eventually given Marvel’s goodest boy, Vision. After that, things start to pick up a lot.

bless him and his little intangible heart

Highlights: - Captain America is found frozen in an ice cube! He’s been in cryo for twenty years, wow how the world has changed. I guess. Another case of time passing eventually making an origin story better. At this point Marvel has revived three 1940s comics properties: Cap, Namor, and the Human Torch (the lattermost in this case being an entirely different person). - Kang the Conqueror! Kang is a hell of a villain concept. He’s a time traveler who once ruled ancient Egypt as a pharaoh named Rama Tut and, uh, will eventually rule over Earth in the 41st century. He keeps harassing the 20th century for some reason. Also he is hint hint maybe related to Doctor Doom, I guess. - Hawkeye joins, having previously been a one-off villain, and proceeds to be an asshole to everyone forever. Eventually he becomes Goliath II because why not I guess. - Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver join, having recently bailed on Magneto’s Brotherhood, and they are...kinda boring, tbh. Wanda’s “hex power” isn’t very well defined (it makes unlucky things happen), and neither of them have much personality yet. At one point they fight Doctor Doom and he uses a machine to cancel out the hex power (???) and outpaces Quicksilver without using any enhancements (???). Some of these issues really blow. Quicksilver’s costume is lazy as hell. - Hercules joins for some reason, even though he says he doesn’t wanna be part of a team. - Magneto does some sneaky bullshit and tricks Quicksilver into thinking someone at the UN shoots at Wanda on purpose. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch join Magneto again because fuck normies. - The Avengers are killed (sort of) by the Grim Reaper! Their newest member, the Black Panther, rescues them.

Pick a color you trilobite.

- The Vision joins, Ultron-5 is introduced, and things finally settle in for the good stuff. - Ultron rebuilds himself in adamantium as Ultron-6 and replaces his legs with a rocket chariot thing. No one is brave enough to tell him it looks dumb.

no shut up its cool and i can fit still fit through doorways

immediately the next chapter he re-rebuilds himself with legs and calls himself Ultimate Ultron. mmmhm.

sounds like somebody was havin some self esteem issues about their body. sounds like a talk that ultron and their dad hank pym could probably relate to each other over.

- The decade ends with an arc where Kang abducts the Avengers and ends up himself wrapped up in a proxy wargame with the Grandmaster. Kang uses the Avengers as his pawns, and the GM creates four superhumans that he totally didn’t get from DC no sir. Perfectly original characters, do not steal.

I just...I just really feel like that last one could have used a few more minutes in the boardroom.

- Even better, the second half of the arc pits the avengers against Captain America, Namor, and the Human Torch...in their 1940s renditions!

Hank even comments on the fact that Namor’s diction is different. It’s great.

The Uncanny X-Men

So I grew up in the 90s, and despite never really engaging with comics, I was quite aware that Marvel’s hottest shit at the time was Spider-Man and X-Men. The X-Men had a slow start, but once they caught on, they never really dropped off. Actually, I think they might be less popular now? They’re at least not the ever-present icons they used to be, and I suspect that is partially to do with middling-quality movies diluting the brand.

But, the appeal is there from the start. Children born unique but feared by society are adopted by Patrick Stewart and spirited away to a special boarding school that is secretly dedicated to teaching them to use their powers for the sake of fighting evil. This was the proto-Harry Potter, though Snape’s gonna win no contests against Wolverine.

Unfortunately, we don’t have Wolverine, yet. We’ve got...these guys!

(Not pictured: Marvel Girl/Jean Grey)

The creative potential in mutant design has not quite picked up yet, so the main team (of five teens and an old man) includes such marvels as Guy With Wings, and Guy What Got Big Feet. Seriously, Beast’s feet get way too much attention.

I cannot wait until you are a blue cat instead of this.

I wish I could comment on the political commentary on the series, but it hasn’t quite started up yet, whether that is intentional or not. The rampant fear of mutants is there, we’ve even had a Sentinels arc, but it’s mostly just surface stuff. I had a lot to say about Spider-Man, so I feel kind of silly coming up short here!

Highlights: - Magneto. Despite the slow start this series is going through, Magneto is immediately introduced and has his wonderful costume design and his super threatening magnetism powers. I am a bit confused as to how his magnetism affects all things, not just metal, but magnets are an irl mystery and I’m willing to let it slide. - The Juggernaut. The two-issue arc introducing Juggz himself are effectively told, if not sliiightly silly in structure. The first issue has the X-Men building up defenses because he’s coming, and later, as he tears through each single one, unseen to both the kids and the reader, Xavier explains his and the Juggernaut’s tumultuous childhood together. It builds the tension really well, but it’s a bit funny by the fourth time the X-Men are saying “we gotta go meet him before he breaks in here where we are!” and Xavier’s like “I’M NOT DONE TELLING MY ORIGIN STORY.” - The Sentinels. This is probably the last interesting arc in the 60s, published as early as ‘65. It’s almost the last material in the reading guide, next to an issue where they all get into a fight with Spider-Man for no reason. If I understand correctly, the Sentinels are later depicted as humongous robots, where here they’re closer to ten feet tall or so. I’d always thought the idea of “a bunch of mass produced robots designed to kill mutants” seemed uncreative growing up, especially given that they don’t, like, have an x-gene suppressing ray or anything, but it works well enough in the moment. - Wholly unnecessary amounts of sexual harassment towards Jean Grey. All the boys have the hots for her (well, maybe not Iceman (pun not intended)), including even Xavier saying that she’s attractive when she first arrives. What the fuck, dudes.

X-MANS IS CANCELED

Doctor Strange (Strange Tales)

The reading guide included a ton of Strange Tales to read, including an 11-issue arc at one point. Good grief it was a lot.

Steve Ditko, of early Spider-Man, did the art for Strange for a good while, and I found that contrast between the diagram like action of Spider-Man, and the much more fantastic illustrations of Strange to be the most interesting thing. Eventually Marie Severin would take over as the penciller, and it would take a bit of time to adjust, but the more abstract it got, the better. Also, I don’t really like the footie pajamas Severin draws him in.

This is Steve Ditko. He has thin lines and exact shapes and while you don’t see it here, his magic fights are very clear and easy to follow.

This is Marie Severin. In comparison her lines are thick and smudged (well, okay, we have to give credit to the inkers for these as well, though I think she did her own inking?), but is capable of uniquely evocative images like this. Her action scenes are harder to follow, but she is equally capable of the kind of surreality that appears in Doctor Strange’s comics.

Also, while the topic has been touched on a lot, especially around the time the movie came out, it still bears repeating that Doctor Strange is built on a foundation of cultural appropriation and mystic eastern boogie woogie nonsense. I’m parroting the words of people that know this much better than me, but it’s a problematic and somewhat common trope that media will depict a white protagonist in a foreign setting who not just excels but surpasses everyone else, particularly peers who are native to the setting. At best it’s well-meaning and oblivious, at worst it perpetuates a narrow worldview where everything has to revolve around white people.

Anyway, when the comics focus more on the dread dark dimension of Dormammu, most of these problems aren’t around, and you get lots of fun and bizarre imagery and goofy spell casting.

Highlights: - Dormammu. He’s a prideful otherworldy being who refuses to be caught explicitly going back on his word when beaten at a game of skill, but easily breaks down and claws at loopholes with which he can attempt his petty revenge against Strange. He is also portrayed as a necessary evil, in that he uses his power to erect a barrier that keeps his servants safe from mindless laser-eye cyclops monsters that are just perpetually punching each other. That conflict makes for complicated situations where usurping him may be more harm than help. Also his head is always on fire, and that’s cool. - Trippy visuals. Ditko’s backgrounds lean closer to pop art with abstract shapes, bright colors, and twisting pathways. Severin’s art, if I can remember (there hasn’t been a lot yet) leans closer to mysterious and somewhat vague settings. I’m describing it very poorly.

That’s kind of it for Strange, I guess!

Daredevil

oh my god how many of these have I done now im so tired

I haven’t read much Daredevil yet! The reading guide has given me some seven issues so far out of the full decade, and while there has been some good stuff, I don’t know if I can draw a big mental picture.

DD is, theoretically, in that same category as Captain America, where rather than being a super powerful character, he is merely very very good at what he has. DD got hit in the face with a radioactive dildo or something and it blinded him but enhanced his other senses so intensely that if you sneeze he can tell what brand of nasal spray you use. Also, he’s super acrobatic and has a swiss army walking cane that he can use to do just about anything. And he’s a working attorney. Fuck you and your eyeballs, Batman.

Marvel has not begun to embrace noir, and as I understand it, that seems to be the genre most people know DD for aligning with. As a result, things are kinda silly! DD’s first outfit was yellow and he fought a man who had robot stilts in broad daylight.

Highlights: - Killgrave, the...Purple Man.

I can’t believe this is how Jessica Jones starts.

Uhh, Killgrave got some pheromones or something embedded in his skin on accident and now everyone just does what he says to no matter what. He’s purple now, too. This has not been taken to its terrifying possibilities yet, but I’m very excited to see where it goes. - Daredevil fights Namor. Okay, seriously? Seriously? This is my favorite issue, no joke. Namor busts out of the ocean demanding a lawyer (Matt himself) so he can sue the human race. Shenanigans ensue, and a trial is attempted, but ultimately falls apart when Namor decides “you know what? fuck this I’m gonna start breakin shit”. Matt changes into the DD costume and takes on Namor with everything he can think of, including construction equipment, but fails.

Out of respect, Namor leaves.

- Stilt-Man.

Stilt-Man. (Stilt-Man eventually shrinks into a quantum state that he remains trapped in for months until he suddenly isn’t.)

- And finally, Mike Murdock. In an attempt to ward off suspicion that he might be Daredevil, Matt...pretends to be his twin brother who is never in the same room at the same time as him. As Mike, he is a cocky jerk to everyone and insists that he is Daredevil. And people believe him.

As you would expect (for once), this nearly gets people killed.

Nick Fury (Strange Tales, Agent of Shield)

NICK FURY IS THE BEST GOD DAMN SONNUVA BITCH IN THE WHOLE MARVEL LINE UP

Nick Fury is like if you took James Bond and made it not suck. You get to keep all the gadgets and world traveling but swap out the “ooh, I’m so cool and serious” with kicking open doors and telling fascists to go fuck themselves. Most importantly, it’s a near-parody of the overwrought machismo that the series runs on. It’s so busy getting from point A to point B in as fun a way as possible that it’s impossible to take seriously.

Actually, it might be like if Battle Tendency was less sympathetic to real world fascists. Which is to say, it’s the pinnacle of evolution.

Look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t a JJBA action scene. (Also, Jim Steranko blessed us with a shirtless Fury in latex pants.)

A highlights list would be ridiculously long because I love these comics, so I’ll instead focus on one thing in particular.

- Jim Steranko’s art is gorgeous

Yes, these are all Nick Fury title pages.

Captain America (Tales of Suspense)

Steve is just now starting to get interesting, mostly through his own series, but he’s had plenty of time for notable moments throughout his screentime (pagetime?) in Tales of Suspense and Avengers. While talking about Daredevil I mentioned Captain America and how he’s less of a nigh-supernatural being like most heroes, and more of a particularly exceptional human. He hits really hard, but more impressive is his stamina and agility. Something that I’ve liked in the MCU is how they’ve portrayed him as always capable of what is just one step beyond what people think is possible of him. He can’t fly, but he’ll do as many impossible leaps as necessary. He’s not super strong (well, not to the degree of Spider-Man), but he sure can run for miles, and he knows his way around that shield.

I feel like a lot of what I’m writing is surface level readings of these comics, but the characteristics of Steve that really identify him haven’t quite shown themselves yet, I think. When I think of him, what always comes to mind is that his “american good boy” values take priority over allegiances, and so you’ll see Captain America himself abandon his title if America no longer represents the values of protecting the weak. Steve Rogers is kind of a perfect flawless human (when not written terribly), but that’s pretty okay at the end of the day, when a superhero is more of an icon than a person.

Highlights: - That time the Red Skull got the Cosmic Cube (not the Tesseract), and became a god for like five minutes.

- That time Cap fought a giant baby.

- That time Cap pretended to be dead and then stopped Hydra from burying all the avengers alive even Vision who would...be able to just phase out of the grave. I’m not really sure what the plan there was. - That other time the Red Skull got the cosmic cube and then switched bodies with Cap and they made a lot of facial expressions.

- That time Rick Jones thought Captain America didn’t like him, meanwhile Cap was stranded on a desert island and hanging out with The Falcon and it was cool. Nobody cares about Rick Jones.

Namor, The Sub-Mariner (Tales to Astonish)

I didn’t read a fuck shit about this dude! Sorry!

Captain Marvel

we’re so close to being done

The reading guide gave me nearly nothing on this dude. Issues #1-3 and then #17. He’s a Kree (whoa!) named Mar-Vell (lol) who should be helping to fuck up Earth but ends up liking it and chooses to defend it. He’s got a jet pack and a laser and a really shit costume and he’s NOT BLUE.

Marvy, I need you to move over, the more interesting hero is behind you.

He’s got an asshole commanding officer who keeps trying to get him killed because he wants to fuck his girlfriend and SNORE, I do not care. Come on dude. I have been psyched to learn about

At some point in-between chapters #3 and #17, and...shit, I’ll just quote wikipedia for this:

After aiding humanity several times, Mar-Vell is found guilty of treason against the Kree Empire and sentenced to death by firing squad. Mar-Vell escapes in a stolen rocket, but becomes lost in space. After drifting for 112 days, he is weak and on the verge of madness. He is manipulated by Ronan the Accuser and Kree Minister Zarek into helping them overthrow the Supreme Intelligence. To better help them, Mar-Vell is given a new costume and enhanced abilities. After the conspiracy is foiled, Mar-Vell tries to return to Earth. On the way, he is hit by a blast of radiation that traps him in the Negative Zone.[16]

The Supreme Intelligence enables Mar-Vell to telepathically contact Rick Jones, which he uses to lead Jones to a set of "nega-bands" at an abandoned Kree base. When Jones puts on the bands and strikes them together, he trades places with Mar-Vell and is encased in a protective aura in the Negative Zone. The pair discover they are able to maintain telepathic contact. Using this method, Mar-Vell can remain in the positive universe for a period of three hours.

well what the fuck that might have been worth reading, thanks reading guide

Anyway, so yeah, Rick Jones! Both of these characters were pretty boring, and mayyybe this will help the both of them. Or not. At least the new costume is cool.

Silver Surfer

IT’S THE LAST ONE THANK GOD

Once again, I don’t have much to say here! I wrote all my thoughts on the surfer up in the Fantastic Four section, so you can read that if you haven’t. The reading guide only gave me three issues to read, though they were quite good. The first was his origin story, which I already wrote about above. The second one was about invisible aliens that manipulated the surfer and people’s distrust of him (part of this is because he keeps occasionally attacking humans because he thinks it’ll make them be nicer to each other). And in the third issue, Mephisto kidnaps his long lost girlfriend from his home planet. It works out kind of badly for everyone involved.

begone, thought

And that’s everything for the 60s. Phew! This took a long time and I don’t know if it was worth it. Let me know if you read it, if you enjoyed it, if you pity me, whatever. I got more comics to read.

#curry reads comics #long post #very long post #fantastic four #the incredible hulk #thor #the amazing spider man #tales to astonish #journey into mystery #tales of suspense #avengers #uncanny x men #strange tales #daredevil #captain marvel #nick fury agent of shield #silver surfer #marvel

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ferineelegance · 3 years ago

Note

To follow up to the prior question:

There are definitely boys within the Bollards who would be able to sense she needs a slow introduction to touch, and the guys really aren't the most physically affectionate until they know someone, so she gets time to settle down and observe them.

Julius and Irvin would be the quickest to be affectionate with her, and they'd go easy on her until she isn't skittish anymore. Harry would generally give her reassuring touches, such as resting a hand on her shoulder, but he'd warm up to more over time if she started to adjust to touch.

But they generally leave her be touch wise, especially Werner, Gus and Charlie. Werner is just ??? about her for awhile since she's new, while Charlie is prone to stupidity at times and may mess up by nudging her in the side like he might Maurice, so he avoids her keenly.

Now, if the boys ever saw her post 1911, they'd be very happy and likely hug her without asking her if they could hug her. Especially Irvin, Julius and Harry, and Charlie would likely awkwardly pat her on the shoulder because she's still not one of the guys.

((Yeah was thinking about it and she might... actually be less weird about light teasing contact faster lol. Maybe something about it clearly being something they do with each other. Might actually subconsciously help solidify they actually really are more or less treating her like just another member (and then later, like family).

#((answer all the things #((ooc

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dazais-guardian-angel · 7 years ago

Text

I was tagged by @angelofawhitenight to do this fun Touken Ranbu question meme~ Tagging @archerazzure and @catastrophy-cat to do it as well, but only if you want to.

1. What is your name and which server is your citadel in?

My name is Dana, and server is Houki no Kuni.

2. When did you start serving as a saniwa? Please display your battle records.

September 27th, 2017~

3. Which starter sword did you pick? What is he doing now?

Kashuu Kiyomitsu. <3 I used to use him and Yasusada a lot because they were two of the swords I got to level 99 the quickest, but I haven’t used him in a while simply because I have stronger swords than him now that work better than I did before. I still love you, Kashuu!

4. Who is the first among your swords to reach the maximum level? What do you think of him?

I’m pretty sure it was Kogitsunemaru! I got him pretty early on as my first super rare sword, and so that’s one of the reasons I’m very fond of him. <3 He’s adorable and a sweetheart.

5. Who do you have in each of your squads, and how do you use them? If you haven’t unlocked all four teams yet, briefly describe how you plan to organize them.

Hate to disappoint, but I don’t really make much use of the separate teams lol; I just switch out people on Unit 2 depending on what the current event requires of me. Usually the team I like to go with is Jiroutachi, Taroutachi, Ishikimaru, and Iwatooshi all at level 99 and whatever two other strongest swords I have I think best fit, though now I can add Hotarumaru since he’s nearly at level 99 too, and I also finally have gotten a handful of kiwame tantous and a few kiwame wakizashis and uchigatanas, so I can use those too if I need to. Unit 1 I use solely to put an extra Yasusada I kept in the captain position so that he’s always my attendant sword and I always see him and hear his music on my citadel screen. >.>

6. Without considering the performance of the swords, which type of sword do you prefer?

Hmmm.... I guess the uchigatanas, since that category contains most of my favorites lol. But I love the tantous too; they’re so cute. ><

7. Next, we come to the usual questions. List the swords that you like and your thoughts on them.

Time to make this post unnecessarily long! :’D

Yamatonokami Yasusada - Hands down favorite sword in the game, he’s my pure precious child who needs a million hugs and love and comfort and he’s just.... ugh he’s so strong??? So brave? He’s so strong; he has one of the roughest pasts out of all the swords but he handles his grief so well. Anyone who thinks he’s whiny or annoying or talks about Okita too much can fight me, I dare you to. He tries so hard and has so much pain and passion and love inside of him; I know I wouldn’t be able to go through what he did and come out half as well... Also he’s just absolutely adorable, like my god how can you not love him.

Kashuu Kiyomitsu - Kashuu is amazing as well, and he also needs a million hugs and blankets ughhhhhh; his past too affected him terribly, and he closes himself off from it and tries to distance himself from it, the complete opposite of Yasusada, but it’s so obvious how much unresolved baggage he has. His insecurity about his poor place of “birth”, and his abandonment issues because of how he broke and had to be abandoned by Okita, both of which he tries to make up for/erase by making himself beautiful and hoping it will get him the praise and attention he wants from a new master, are all so sad. But it’s also so clear how much he deeply loved Okita and how he misses him as well, even if he’s conflicted about it and never lets it show because of what happened, and I hope that on his kiwame journey he will be able to truly realize and acknowledge this, and embrace the good parts of his past as a Shinsengumi sword.

Hachisuka Koutetsu - My ultimate favorite swords at the top of this ranking are the ones who I fell in love with through the TR musicals, and Hachisuka is definitely one of the ones where this is the most true, specifically with the second musical which focuses heavily on his relationship with his brother Nagasone, which is of course strained because of Hachisuka being a rare real koutetsu sword and Nagasone being a replica one, which Hachisuka uses to belittle him. Without giving spoilers, the musical’s version of Hachisuka forces him to spend extensive time with his brother as well as time in a situation in general that’s pretty alien to him, and he grows and changes as he ponders why exactly he feels the way he does, tries to figure out how Nagasone himself feels and why he acts the way he does, and eventually comes to a realization and understanding, and displays his acceptance of his brother in the most fitting and touching way possible. His development is sublime, and so this is my favorite version of Hachisuka and why I am so in love with him; there’s just so much potential with him and Nagasone’s relationship because of how different they are and their vastly different pasts (this applies to a lot of sword pairs, really), and so the musical Hachisuka is the one that’s canon in my mind. His kiwame just happened and I really, really, really hope it does a good job with him as well. <3

Nagasone Koutetsu - So of course Nagasone would be next lol, I love him a lot. He’s cool, funny, strong, pretty hot (lmao), and puts up with his brother’s shit so well, like damn that is some serious willpower. But he doesn’t let it get to him, because in reality he doesn’t care at all about being a “fake”, and I’m so proud of him for it. I still want to hug him though, because he still doesn’t deserve all those insults, and also because of course being a Shinsengumi sword is such pain and suffering :’’’’) and he has so much internalized grief, just like the other four do. Again, the second musical is mostly responsible for my love for him.

Izuminokami Kanesada - Katsugeki TR was my first introduction to the franchise, so even though I would later learn it characterized him prettyyyy badly lmao, I still fell in love with him first, like he was probably my first favorite sword when I still knew very little about TR. Now that I know that he’s really a giant dork with such a big heart and so much passion and drive and adorableness (just like Yasu), I love him so much. <333 He’s just so good. :’) The new musical is all about him and looking through it even without subtitles had my heart shattered into a million pieces for him; again, Shinsengumi swords automatically need a shitton of hugs and therapy, ugh.

Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki - HE’S JUST A GIANT ADORABLE PUPPY. HE IS AMAZING AND SUCH A SWEETHEART AND I LOVE HIM. I fell in love with him in Katsugeki first and episode 9 made me cry. :’) And I kept loving him. He seems very different in the new musical and it interests me; I can’t wait to see what he’s all about (and cry some more).

Horikawa Kunihiro - Of course I have to love Horikawa if I love Kane; he’s so sweet, and such a good support for the other Shinsengumi swords. He’s wonderful. <3

Ichigo Hitofuri - I love how pure he is as a big brother with the tantous, oh my GOD. It’s just the sweetest thing; he loves them all so much and they love him. ;____; <3 Also his design is gorgeous.

Kogitsunemaru - Like I said up there, first rare sword I got early on, so I’m partial to him. I love his design, and his creation myth. <3 He’s just so sweet.

Yagen Toushirou - He’s a great big brother to the little tantous <3 and I love how he’s their doctor in Hanamaru lol; it fits him.

Tonbokiri - I fell in love with him in Katsugeki; he’s a BIG PURE TEDDY BEAR WHO IS SO SWEET. how dare you make me think he was going to die Katsugeki wtf how could you do that. I desperately need to watch the musical with him in it nnnnngh.

Yamanbagiri Kunihiro - What a cutie, with his cape that he refuses to take off for poor Kasen to wash and his freaking dancing flower with its own little cape. I hope one day he gains self-confidence despite being a replica. :’) I dread the day the real one shows up, if he does.

Nikkari Aoe - Love his design, and just his general demeanor. And his backstory is badass.

Ookurikara - He’s pretty stoic, but I like whenever he loosens up a little and lets out a smile; it’s beautiful. <3

Imanotsurugi - The first musical made me love him; GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG, UGH. He deserves the world, and he and Iwatooshi are the cutest brother pair. ;____; <3

Sayo Samonji - AGAIN, GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG, MY GOD HIS PAST IS SO SAD LET ME HUG HIM AND TELL HIM I’M NOT GOING TO SELL HIM. D’:

Iwatooshi - The best big brother, and he’s been a saving grace to me in many a battle so how can I not love him.

Heshikiri Hasebe - He is so devoted to the saniwa, like oh my god bless his heart lmao; he’s utterly hilarious and wonderful.

Urashima Koutetsu - He’s the one thing Hachisuka and Nagasone will always put aside their differences for and it’s just the best thing ever, and he always tries to help them become closer... it’s so good, I love him. :’’’) <3

Gokotai - HE’S SO CUTE AND HIS NAMESAKE IS THE CUTEST THING

Otegine, Nihongou - Them together with Tonbokiri is amazing, good trio.

8. Are there any pairings that you like? If there, please list them. (No limit on type.)

Don’t ship anything in TR, never. My favorite brother relationships though are the Shinsengumi swords as a group, Yasu and Kashuu, Kane and Hori, Nagasone and Hachisuka, the Koutetsu bros group as a whole, the Samonji brothers group, Imanotsurugi and Iwatooshi, Gokotai and Nihongou, Gokotai and Tonbokiri, and the Toushirous and Ichigo.

9. Is your citadel an employee-friendly citadel or a black-hearted citadel that works your swords to the bone?

Well, I never break swords on purpose or leave them injured on purpose while I’m not using them, but I do send them out constantly in order to complete events, which sometimes involves sending them out while fatigued if I think I can still win with them being fatigued, soooooo that might be considered working them to the bone. *shot* But when there’s no event going on they all get to chill.

10. Have you ever done anything weird to your swords?

how dare you ever imply I would, they are my bABIES YOU HEAR ME-

11. Have you ever broken a sword? What happened, and who did you break?

Nope, never; I take extra care to make sure I never do. I couldn’t stand breaking even another copy of one I already have lol.

12. Who loses troops the most in your citadel? And who is the most skilled at making troops?

I don’t know, no one seems to lose troops more than anyone else that I remember. And Yasusada is always my attendant sword so he always makes the troops lol.

13. Another common question: have you ever done something with all of your might in order to get a particular sword? Please describe what you did and the results.

Oh yeah, back when we had that series of weeks where there was a smithing campaign a week for six weeks straight, I blew a lot of money to get swords lmao. Spent money for Juzumaru and Oodenta, and got them and Monoyoshi. Wish I could have gotten the rest too but realistically that was a pretty good turnout, and I was happy with it; I have Sengo now because of the last event, and hopefully Kogarasumaru and Koryuu will come back later. The other most daunting time I had was the first Osaka castle treasure hunt event I was around for; I played relentlessly to get Hakata, Gotou, Shinano, and Houchou to drop, those evil little demons. Was dead of boredom by the end but I got them!!! Didn’t have time to even think about attempting Mouri lmao but luckily I got him easily in the next one, when they amped up his drop rate massively on floor 99 (thank god).

14. Are you superstitious? (www)

Nah, at least in terms of doing things in the game; I do think my luck comes in waves though and goes back and forth between TR and other gacha games lol.

15. What made you join the TKRB fandom in the beginning? How about now?

Joined because of Katsugeki, stayed because of the musicals. :’) <3

16. What do you think of the current maps? (For example: which map is good for training/grinding, which maps do you get lost in the most, which map do you want to burn?)

Meh, I’ve beaten them all now and don’t return to them much; I usually train in events instead that give a lot better EXP than the regular maps. Era 6 was a nightmare early on of course, but now it’s fine. 7-1 through 7-3 can burn in hell for how difficult they are though lmao; 7-4 is surprisingly easy if you trigger the long path. The worst thing about all maps tbh is the dice feature and not being able to choose your own paths (usually); I get that there needed to be an extra gimmick, but it’s truly terrible and unfair sometimes, like when you get right near the boss node with no one in the red for once and then the dice sends you into a dead end. :’’’)))) 3-4 can burn in hell for the first time I had to go through it to get to continue fffffffffffff

17. Are there any game systems or improvements that you hope DMM will implement?

I really, really would love for them to let you be able to turn off the spotlight search animation when scouting pre-battle, which takes up a good portion of battle time and is especially annoying when the scouting fails or when the battle is too easy for your formation choice to really matter, but I don’t think they will. :’D Just... speed up the map moving/battle process in general; letting you click through the EXP screen is a good start, more please. ....I also think that the game requires waaaaaaaaaaaay too much EXP for kiwame swords to the point where I don’t think they expect you to actually level them up a lot and just use them as they are (which.... you can’t just do because the uchigatanas suck at low levels as kiwame, and I dread the day the ootachis and naginatas get kiwames...), because no one possibly has that much time, so I wish they’d nerf the amount needed some, but I know they’re not going to do that lol.

18. If DMM cooperates on an event with another game/anime/etc., what would you like to see?

Not really sure... I haven’t started Bungou to Alchemist yet, but I intend to, and I know it’s the same concept as TR except with famous writers (I know this cause I’m a fan of the anime that uses the same concept, Bungou Stray Dogs), so I wonder what that kind of historical crossover would be like.

19. Have you spent money playing TKRB? If so, how much? If not, do you plan to?

Ohhhhh yes, as I said above lmao; I’ve probably spent like... $300 in total for materials, ofudas, and sword space... *sweats* I’m gonna need to buy new sword space really soon again, at least.

20. Is there any merchandise that you would like to buy or see?

Please, Good Smile, make nendoroids of Hachisuka and Nagasone already. There’s other ones I’d love too but those two in particular.... pls... I’d also love anime versions of the musicals, which won’t happen, but I can dream. </3

21. Have you done any fanwork (fanfiction, fanart, etc.)? If so, what?

Not yet, I do plan to though... definitely draw some of the boys, and I have a few fanfic ideas.... I just need to force myself to do research of Japanese history/culture because I’m so nervous about handling this kind of thing and afraid I’ll botch it OTL; I know the Shinsengumi members etc are fictionalized versions of them, but stilllllll I’m nervoussssss because they’re real people lol.

22. What do you think you are like as a saniwa?

I don’t know.... I’d like to think that I’d try to spend time with all of them so no one is left out *looks nervously at how I use the same swords over and over in-game haha*, and make sure that the ones who need it the most get the comfort and love and reassurance they need. Plenty of them are still healing from their pasts, and need space as well as hugs, and I’d want them to make sure they feel like they have all of what they need from and feel comfortable around me. <3 Overall I’d just want to be with all of them a lot, because they’re not my servants; we’re all one big family and they need me just as much as I need them.

23. If the government asked you to choose a sword to kill yourself with in terms of emergency, who would you pick?

WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THIS. I couldn’t make any of them do this to me, never; that’d be horrible. Unless one of them insisted on it, though I can’t fathom who. But yeah, I’d let them choose if it absolutely had to be one of them, but otherwise I’d just do it to myself in some other way. D’: thinking about this upsets me greatly

24. The government has asked you to write a report: how would you describe the situation in your citadel?

We’re all good here, chilling out with a nice round 70 swords; Hachisuka is currently away on his kiwame journey and I and Urashima are eagerly awaiting his return, as is Nagasone, even if he won’t admit it. <3

25. What do you think of the Retrograding Army?

I hate them; they force my poor boys into such anguished and painful situations (usually having to cause their previous masters’ deaths when the HRA tries to keep them alive OTL), and they’re ugly, and the yaris and those kunai things are a goddamn pain in my ass in-game. *shot* They serve their purpose well enough as nebulous enemies to fight and to give the swords their missions, but I really wish we could just get some lore for this world already; where does the HRA come from, and why do they want to change history? Why are the saniwa’s swords the only ones who can defeat them? Why do the kebishii fight both us AND them? There’s just so much I want to know that I don’t think we’ll ever get answers to. :/

26. Lastly, please say something about TKRB from the bottom of your heart!

I love this franchise so so much; I never thought such a superficial concept such as anthropomorphic sword pretty boys would ever be something I would fall in love with lmao, but here we are. I really have the musicals to thank for my love though; they really use TR’s concept to its greatest potential, with all of the emotion that comes with having to face your turbulent past and trying to overcome it and move on, and having to deal with losing people you loved and looked up to (the animes do this too though, I’m not discrediting them). All of the boys are one giant family, and they love each other and have fun with each other and bond with each other and grieve with and support one another; it’s just so wholesome and poignant. :’) <3 Not to mention that it’s finally made me wake tf and learn some Japanese history already, smh. Thank you so much for existing, Touken Ranbu; I look forward to much more time being moved by you and also tearing my hair out over trying to get every new sword! ^_^ <3

#tag meme #touken ranbu #in which I ramble about my emotions over sword boys for.... a very long post... lol #i love this stupid franchise #thank you for getting me into it Katsugeki even if you yourself turned out to be kinda meh lol

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privatekururugi · 8 years ago

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11 QUESTIONS | Tagged by @13eyond13 ❤

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

Write 11 questions of your own

Tag 11 people

1) What is a strange misconception you had as a child? I use to call my vagina my peedee because that’s what my brother called his nether regions so I thought they were the same. My mom got really pissed at me for some reason.

2&3) Which Death Note character deserves a spanking the most? Why? I’m laughing. Light, probably. And Misa. They got L killed and that’s the only reason needed to give them a whooping. Oh, wait it says “the most”. I’ll shoot for Light, then.

4&5) What’s your all-time favourite Death Note fanfic (if you even have one?) What makes it so good? Ooo, that’s kinda a tough one. I’ve read a lot of good ones, but if I had to choose I’d say Something Wicked This Way Comes. I really enjoy it being AU enough that Light isn’t Kira, but canon enough where Kira still exists and Light’s still a police officer’s son and L is still our beloved renowned detective. Both L and Light’s introductions are done very well and their dynamic is also a big selling point. Not to mention, I hardly read much DN fic from L’s POV. Let alone as good as this one portrays. It automatically enticed me from the first chapter. My only thing with this story is I think the narrative starts to falter a bit when L and Light’s relationship starts getting sexual outside of what’s just keeping up appearances with their fake dating. The stories pacing is so well and enthralling that that sort of thing seemed jarring to me. Like I was suddenly reading a smut one-shot or something and had to recall what the story was. Which, in a fanficition, is somewhat expected: the fanservice. But I could very much see this story hold its own as an original work where that aspect of the protagonists relationship is saved for later down the road.

6&7) Do you think your personality comes off similarly online as to in person? Why / why not? Mmm, I think so. You guys would have to vouch for me on this. I’m pretty laid-back in person. Polite. Overly passionate and can talk your ear off about the things I’m interested in. I’d say I’m a lot like that online too. Maybe the only difference is that I might not come off as shy as I am in real life. It takes me some time to get comfortable with people.

8) What’s something pretty normal that you nonetheless find awkward? Sex scenes on TV. Open discussions about sex in general, unless I’m comfortable with you. Child birth maybe because I still can’t believe I’m capable of birthing one. How the universe ever allowed this, I don’t know.

9) Who was your first celebrity crush? Some white man, probably.

10) What’s the quickest way to brighten your day? Make me laugh. (Not that that’s really hard to do). Compliment me.

11) Would you rather have every song you hear slowly turn into All Star, or every movie you watch turn slowly into Shrek? I have no idea what All Star is, but I don’t care for Shrek much at all, so can I just ignorantly choose All Star?? MY QUESTIONS FOR TAGGED PEOPLE: 1) Do you have any specific diet you go by? (Vegan, Gluten-Free, Paleo, etc.) 2&3) Do you have any siblings? If so, how close are you? 4&5) What’s your favourite book and why? (I might want to read it lol) 6) Would you describe your personality as dominate or submissive overall? 7) What are your dreams usually like at night? 8) Is there anything you’re currently anxious about? 9&10) Are you looking forward to Thanksgiving? Will you be contributing anything? 11) Whose your favourite Death Note character (if you have one)?

@jncnicole @yeggami @side-ho-ryuuzaki @lighty4gami @inky-little-ghost @amindele @ranik-a @senti-renai @stvlti @erucakeliet @sangw00

#idk what to tag this as #q&a #dont feel obligated to do this if you dont want to!

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marbledaesthetics · 5 years ago

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You Behind Me

Pairing: Ashton x ofc

Warnings: a party, implied alcohol consumption, anxiety, talk of previous and future romantic relationships, implied sexual situations, a bad break up, swearing, me projecting a wild combination of commitment and abandonment issues

word count: 4.9k

a/n: i wrote most of this in like 2 hours then refused to edit it for over a week because that’s how I am, this was low key inspired by this fic by @softforcal and this fic by @5sosnsfw even though it doesn’t really resemble either lol, this is a playlist of songs that inspired/reminded me of/vibed with this fic (if you have any songs that this reminds me of, feel free to leave an ask and I’ll listen to it)

~~~

“Who’s that?” Michael interrupts the ongoing conversation to point out someone that Ashton can’t quite see. “I feel like I should know her.”

“It’s an open party, she’s probably a friend of someone.” Calum leans toward Mike, trying to see who he noticed as Ash leans back to his previous position against the counter, having given up on trying to spot her.

Just as he’s going back to his conversation, Luke says, “Black jeans, green crop top, leather jacket. She’s standing just in front of the stairs.”

The second he sees her, Ashton whips around to look anywhere but the girl who seems to catch everyone’s eye. He tries to play it off as turning away to sneeze and prays none of the guys question it. He keeps his head low and his drink close to his face, hoping no one recognizes her.

---

31 January 2011

Ashton groaned in frustration as the bell rang. It was the first day of the term, and he was late. He hadn’t looked at the room number for his English class before heading to the English wing, and by the time he realized that his teacher’s classroom was put in the History wing because of spacing issues, he didn’t have time to make it on time.

He was only a few seconds late, but the teacher, an older woman with a stern expression, glared as he moved to the only open seat left. He was glad it was near the back, knowing that people could only stare for so long, but he was bright red as he sunk into his seat, wishing the desk would swallow him whole.

The teacher, Mrs. Hamil, kept her introductions brief, going right into explaining the book they’d be reading. Ashton was hardly paying attention, still embarrassed by his entrance, when he heard her say, “You will be working on this project in partners, so you’d best get to know your neighbor because you’ll be seeing a lot of them.”

Ashton looks at the girl in the desk next to him for the first time. She’s tall, he probably only has an inch or two on her, and her long, black curls frame her face. She smiles at him lightly, and says, “I’m Lavinina, but if you call me that, we’ll have problems.”

Ashton chuckles lightly, grateful for the distraction and says, “It’s a pretty name, but if you hate it so much, I could just call you Vin.”

“Most people just call me Nina, but I’ll roll with it.” Everything in her mannerisms screams “relaxed” and Aston can’t help but love how easy their conversation is.

“I’m Ashton.”

---

“She does look familiar. Ash, do you know?” Calum turns to him, and Ashton immediately knows he’s busted. “I know that face. Come on, spill. Who is she?”

“No one. I think I might’ve seen her in passing, but I thought she was someone else at first glance.” Ash hopes the lie is enough for them to let the matter drop before they call him on his bullshit, but they do him one better: they urge him to go talk to her.

“She’s hot, what’s the harm? She looks like she’d be your type.” Ashton barely hears Luke as he searches for the quickest escape plan as she starts in their direction.

“I’m gonna go outside. It’s getting cramped in here.” He knows the excuse is lame, but he doesn’t hesitate to leave his drink on the counter and duck out the back door.

He goes to sit with some people around a bonfire when he feels something lightly brush his arm. “Hey.”

He turns to see the only person at the party he was avoiding— Vin, standing in front of him looking gorgeous as ever, but mildly pissed.

---

20 March 2011

“Irwin, you fucking cunt!”

Ashton is laughing, trying to stay upright while Vin pushes at him, still soaked. “Language. There are children.”

“Ash you are the child. Spraying me with the hose? Really?” She finally succeeds in getting him on the ground, but Ashton quickly grabs her wrist, pulling her down with him.

“Why fancy meeting you here,” he says teasingly, looking up at her.

“You’re a dork.” She rolls her eyes at her best friend, shifting slightly so she can look at him better, but making no moves to get off of him.

Ashton chuckles at the quip, pushing some hair that’s hanging down back behind her ear. “You love me for it.” He panics slightly when he realizes he wants to kiss her, not wanting to sacrifice their friendship over his feelings.

She glances down at his lips from her place above him, thinking the same thing as Ashton. She quickly glances back up to his eyes, feeling her face grow warm knowing she got caught. Impulsively she leans in, kissing him gently.

---

“It’s nice to see that you remember me, Ash, but I’m not about to pretend I don’t have a bone to pick with you.” She’s looking at him with one eyebrow raised, her hands in her back pockets, while Ashton continues to stare at her, dumbfounded, as he grapples for words to say.

“How are you here?” He knows he sounds like an idiot, but it’s all he can manage to sputter out.

“It’s an open party,” she says nonchalantly, gesturing for them to sit in the lawn chairs a few feet from the doorway they’re blocking.

Ashton rolls his eyes at the comment and plops into a chair, running his fingers through his hair. “I meant the country more than the party, Vin.” The feel of her name on his tongue after so many years felt strange, but he couldn’t help but relish in the nostalgia it brought.

“You’re not the only one who can uproot their life, Ash. Maybe you would know that if you had ever bothered to come back.”

The comment stings, and he knows that she meant for it to. He rakes up his hair again, but he still can’t think of anything to say to her. She deserves a good explanation, but there isn’t one, so he settles on “It was a really shitty thing to do.”

“That’s a start, but you know I won’t let you leave it at that.” She’s laughing, soft, but clear and bright, and the sound sends him back in time, to when he thought that sound was all he’d ever need in life. Something in the back of his mind tells him that maybe it still is.

---

22 November 2011

“I’m sorry babe— you’re a great tutor and all, but I think I’m doomed. I’m just gonna pray for a passing grade and move on with my life. What am I gonna do with algebra, anyway?” Vin ran her fingers through his hair while he buried his face in her lap, frustrated that he got yet another problem wrong.

“What are you gonna do without it?”

He looked up at her amused expression, nuzzling her hip lightly, placing a gentle kiss to the skin peeking out above the band of her shorts. “I’ll be a stripper, duh.”

The tease cracks her up, and Ashton giggles as she clutches her side and tears fall from the corners of her eyes, falling sideways on the bed.

Vin’s finally starting to calm down when Ashton pounces, tickling her until she’s flailing and begging him to stop. He relents, allowing her a few seconds to catch her breath before kissing her. He places light pecks to her face before capturing her lips softly.

After pulling away, Ashton trails sweet kisses along her neck and collarbones, nipping lightly and the base of her neck. “You know, I could think of something more fun than studying for my algebra final.”

“Yeah? And what would that be?” she teases lightly. “I’m not sure I can think of anything more fun than this textbook.” She pulls the textbook and binder closer to them, and Ashton gently shuts them both before dumping them rather unceremoniously on the floor.

This sends her into a fit of giggles before she pulls his face back to hers, kissing him deeply.

---

“Why did you come?” The question earns him an eye roll, but he still can’t get his head around the fact that Vin is here, in LA, all these years later.

“I got tired of waiting for you to come back.” The answer is simple, but he knows she chose each word carefully, just to make sure he felt as bad as he should. “I spent years waiting, thinking that maybe we would run into each other one day and how you would explain why you just left. I kept thinking that if you explained yourself well enough, maybe things could go back to how they were.” The last part is quiet, an afterthought, and the self consciousness she wears looks wrong to Ashton. Vin was supposed to be confident, cocky, but sitting in front of him, playing with her necklace, she looked like she would shatter if he looked at her for too long.

“I don’t know what to say to you. You deserve an explanation. You deserve a reason for why I just left, but I honestly don’t know if I can give you one.” Ashton can see her shrinking further in on herself, and despite every piece of his soul aching to comfort her, he pushes on, knowing he needs to say this before he can’t bring himself to hurt her anymore. “I can’t give you the explanation you deserve because you didn’t deserve it. I broke every promise I ever made to you, and you never did anything to deserve that.”

“You said you’d come back.” She’s still quiet, and her voice wavers like she’s on the verge of tears. It kills Ash to know that he did this to her. He broke her so bad that she’s barely the person she was.

“Let’s get out of here.” He stands and reaches out to gently pull to her feet. “This isn’t the place for this.”

Vin sniffles and nods, and Ashton can see that she’s fighting to keep herself together. He can’t help himself anymore and pulls her to his chest, cradling her and stroking her hair.

He leads her around the house to avoid his friends and gently guides her into his passenger seat, reaching over to buckle her in before he gets into the car.

“I could have done that myself, you know.” She’s gotten some of her fire back, but Ashton knows that there still isn't any intention behind her tone.

“I know.” She looks away at his response, and Ashton turns his attention back to the road, keeping the radio soft despite their lack of conversation.

As soon as he shifts into park, Vin is out of the car, standing as far away as she can manage without stepping off the pavement. She follows Ash to the house, never taking her eyes off him. He knows her mind is whirling, but he decides not to say anything as he gestures for her to enter.

He shuts the door behind him, kicking off his shoes and tossing his keys and wallet into a bowl by the door. Vin stands awkwardly nearby, looking around, but not making any move to go any further than the foyer.

“You can come in, you know. This might take a while,” Ashton says as he moves to sit.

She takes a minute before she chooses a seat near Ashton, refusing to obey his suggestions immediately. She leans forward, elbows on her knees and runs a hand through her dark curls, sighing deeply. “Start talking. I want to know what happened in those few months that made you decide that ghosting me was your best option.”

Ashton is almost relieved at the anger in her voice, knowing he won’t be able to say his piece if he could see how much he was hurting her.

“It really was just supposed to be a few months. It was an incredible opportunity to go to London and write. We spent almost all of our time writing— we hardly made time to eat— and that’s when the calls slowed down. At first, it was easy. The guys were calling home, too, so I always had the time. But, eventually, they didn’t take the time, so I had to find that time. I had to choose between you and sleeping, so the calls couldn’t happen every day.” Ash was looking everywhere but Vin the entire time he’d been talking. He needed to get everything on the table for her— she deserved to know.

“You were drifting away, and I tried to stop it— I really did. Eventually, I just couldn’t handle the annoyed texts and seeing the missed calls. I drove myself insane reading between lines that weren’t there, so I stopped. I turned my phone off completely for a week to just let myself breathe. That was the week One Direction reached out to invite us to open for them. The guys were ecstatic— we all were, I knew that another nine months away would hurt both of us, so I blocked your number as soon as I could.

“When we came back, I didn’t reach out. I wasn’t able to face you.” When Ashton finally turned to face her, he didn’t know what he was expecting, but the annoyed eye roll he was met with was pretty low on the list.

“You couldn’t face me?” The mockery dripped off the words, and Ashton nearly flinched. “After everything we did, all that we talked about, you couldn’t manage to look the girl who was head-over-heels in love with you in the eye and apologize for every promise you were about to break?”

“I knew how much me leaving would hurt you, and I couldn’t stand to watch you break.” It was a shitty excuse for a shitty thing, but Ashton couldn’t help but plead for her to understand how he’d felt. “I was a kid up against this monstrous thing, so I ran. I know it was wrong, but I couldn’t do that to you.”

“I broke anyway, Ash. I absolutely shattered when I realized you weren’t going to talk to me.” She’s calmer now, able to articulate what she’d been carrying with her for so many years. Ashton can tell that she’s going into something well practiced. She’s had all the time she could possibly need to think of what she needed to tell him and was jumping at the chance. “I wasn’t mad about the missed calls, Ash. I knew you were busy, and I know that you were barely calling your mom either. Sure, I was bummed because I missed you, but I just kept thinking about how great it would be when you got back, how we would have all of year twelve together.”

Ashton knew she was looking right after him, but he couldn’t find the courage to face her.

When she saw he wasn’t going to defend himself or respond, she kept going. “I gave it a few days after you’d gotten back before I swung by, give you some time to sleep off the jet lag and spend time with your family. I was so fucking excited before when I went over to yours; I was driving my parents insane. When I finally went over, you weren’t even home. Your mom told me you were at Michael’s. She also said you had told her that you’d seen me the day before.”

Ash looked at the floor. He had lied to his mom about seeing her so she would push trying to keep the relationship up. He’d made his decision and didn’t want anyone to try to change his mind.

“I was at the airport the day you left.” Ashton finally looked up at her, but Vin was looking at the pictures he had set up around the room, lost in her memory. “I wanted to see you one last time, tell you I was proud of you and that I wished you the best even though you put me through hell.” She looks back to him and fiddles with her necklace. “I wanted to kiss you one last time for good luck and tell you that I was so fucking proud of you. I knew that you didn’t want to keep us up, you made that clear, but I wanted to make sure you were well and that you knew that not everyone back home thought you were lame.”

Ashton can’t help but smile at the jab, but he has a distinct note of sadness in his features. “I thought that seeing you again to tell you what I thought you already knew would be cruel. I didn’t want to hurt you, Vin.” His voice broke off at the end, but he kept his gaze focused on her’s. “I really did mean well. I thought what I was doing was best.”

“I’m not entirely sure if it even pays to tell you this because you’ve already apologized, but I want you to know that I’ve been eating myself alive since you left trying to find closure. That’s all I’ve ever really needed.” Vin’s voice cracks slightly as she pleads with him, trying desperately to make him understand what she went through. “I’ve fantasized about being us again, but I know how slim those chances are, Ash. I swear to you that I know that, but I need the closure of you saying it to my face. I deserve that.”

She looks at Ashton expectantly, but he’d be lying if he said he knew what she wanted to hear. He had explained himself, walked her through those few months, but clearly she thought something important had gone unsaid, something that she needed bad enough to chase him across the world to hear.

“What should I say?”

Vin laughed slightly, but this time, the sound was hollow. “You may have grown up, but clearly you’re still thick as ever. I need you to tell me if you still love me or not because if I don’t know, this is never going to stop; I’m going to keep driving myself insane.”

Ashton sees the look on her face he remembers all too well— her walls are up, and she’s not letting them down for anyone.

---

16 September 2011

“What’s wrong, babe?” Ashton frowned down at Vin, sliding into his desk and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Vin started at his touch, eyes jumping to him. He could see her breathe deeply while she put on a smile that didn’t light up her features the way it normally would. “What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.”

“You can’t fool me, babe. What’s on your mind?” The concern in his voice was genuine, but Vin never faltered.

“It’s nothing, Ash. I was just zoning out.” Her words are short, and she goes back to facing forward, effectively icing Ashton out. She clearly didn’t want to talk, and Ashton has to fight every instinct he has to let her simmer in her feelings when he knows they will overtake her soon.

The bell rang to begin class, so Ashton let the matter drop for the time being, focusing on the lecture of the day.

When class was finally dismissed, Vin shot out of her seat and was out the door before Ashton could even grab his bag. Defeated, he trudged through his day, trying to push aside how Vin avoided him for the rest of the day.

The minutes crawled by, but when last period finally finished, Ashton was quick to meet Vin at her locker before she had the chance to leave. She looked ready to yell at him to leave her alone as soon as she saw him, but he quickly cut her off with a sweet kiss on her cheek. “How’s my girl?”

She looked at him like he’d lost it, but responded with a quiet, “Fine, I guess.”

“Do you wanna come over to mine? Harry and Lauren are both staying at friends’, and I’d like some time with you to myself.” She looked at him skeptically, as if she thought he must be kidding, then crouched down to grab another book from the bottom of her locker.

“Sure.” Ashton dimmed slightly at how soft her voice was, but quickly bounced back when she stood, slinging an arm around her shoulders.

They stayed quiet most of the walk to his house, occasionally making small talk that died quickly. Vin kept most of her answers to single words, drifting away from the conversation as soon as it demanded any real thought.

Ashton worried the whole while, trying to understand why she was pushing so hard to keep her thoughts to herself. How quiet she was worried him— she usually rambled whenever someone gave her the chance.

Once they were inside Ashton headed for his room, dumping his things next to the door. “Do you—” he stopped when he realized Vin was no longer behind him like she usually would be.

He headed back the way he came, slowing when he saw her standing with her arms wrapped tightly around herself just inside the front door. “Babe?”

Vin jumped out of her skin at his voice, squeaking quietly. Ashton froze for a minute, confused why she seemed terrified of him. He cautiously moved forward, peering at her delicate features as if she would crumble if he made any sudden moves.

“Vin, you aren’t okay. Can you please let me in?” Ashton pleaded. “I just want to make your pain go away.”

She looked up, a new harshness in her expression as she snapped, “You can’t make it go away, Ash. This isn’t something you can just fix. I don’t want to talk about it; I want to do anything but think about it. I want you to stop acting like I’ll break. I am fine.”

Ashton backed off, resisting the urge to throw his hands up in surrender. “Alright. That’s okay. We can just watch a movie or something and chill.”

Her expression relaxed slightly, nodding. “I’m sorry for yelling.” Her voice was meek, and her tone broke made Ashton’s heart break.

He pulled her into a hug, kissing her temple and running his fingers through her hair. “Nothing to be sorry for, doll. Just know that I really do want to help, so if I can do anything for you, just say the word.”

---

“I know how long ago this was, Ash. I’ve seen you look so happy with other people; you’ve looked happy without me. I can accept that you’re happy, Ashton. I’m a big girl; I can handle this, but I need you to say it.”

She smooths her hands over the back of her neck as she speaks before bringing them back to the chain resting there, and Ashton realizes what it is— the locket he gave her for their anniversary, a small heart with flowers engraved on the front. The sight of it makes his chest tight as he roughly cards his hands through his hair again.

“I can’t, Vin. We’ve tried this, remember? I didn’t have it in me to keep this up.” Vin pulls back and looks at him with a puzzled expression. “I pushed you out of my head, Vin, because we’ve already tried.” He’s looking her in the eyes now, pleading for her to let this be dead.

“What do you mean you can’t, Ash? How am I supposed to take that?” Her voice is level, but her heart is pounding, and Ashton knows she’s fighting to keep her face indifferent.

“I’m always working, Vin. We never stop touring, and when we finally do, I’m in the studio almost all the time. This job never stops, and there is always going to be distance. That’s what broke us in the first place. You deserve someone who will be there for you, and I can’t do that from a different time zone. I’m not good for you, and I can’t handle breaking your heart again, Vin. It would break me.”

Ashton turns to face her, tucking a stray curl behind her ear and cradling her face as he speaks. “I’m really sorry about what I did, and I want you to know that I’m not just saying that because you’re here. You don’t have to forgive me, but just know that I really am sorry.”

“Do you still love me?” Vin’s voice is smaller than she intended, but she can’t help but ask. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, but she can’t help that glimmer at how he’s dodging her question.

“I can’t tell you.” Ashton pulls away from her. He knows he sounds cold, but he can’t give her an answer he isn’t sure of. He refuses to lead her on again. “I can’t tell you because I don’t know. It’s been so long, but as much as I try, I can never seem to put you behind me, so that must be something, right? You’ve found your way into my lyrics, my thoughts, and every time I think you’re gone, you pop up again. I used to screw up mid-show because I would think I had spotted your face in the crowds.”

His thoughts are spiraling as he rambles on, and Vin is at too much of a loss of words to stop him. He’s pacing the room, gesturing wildly with his arms. “But, at the same time, we already failed once because I fucked up and just couldn’t do it, and it isn’t fair to put you through that again.”

“Ash, stop,” she finally says, snapping herself into action, standing from her place on the couch. She puts her hands on his shoulders, but he fights her grip, continuing to pace as his words start to border on nonsensical. “Ashton, please, you’re going to work yourself into a panic attack. You don’t need to know, just look at me, please!”

Ashton pulls himself back to reality enough to stop talking, allowing Vin’s touch to ground him, but he’s still shifting nervously in front of her.

“I shouldn’t have pushed so hard; I’m sorry. Let’s get you some water and let you calm down a bit, yeah?”

He allows Vin to gently pull him in the kitchen, sitting on a bar stool quietly as his thoughts continue to race in the room’s silence. He watches blankly as she opens cabinets until she finds a glass, lost in his thoughts. He nearly jumps out of his skin when she brushes his arm, drawing his attention to the glass of water she has set in front of him.

She sits with him as he drinks, watching him carefully for a few minutes before speaking. “Is it okay if I keep talking about this, or is that going to be too much right now?” She phrases her question gently, no longer sure what he needs when this happens or of how much he can handle.

“‘S okay,” he mumbles around the edge of the glass. “I think I need you to say something so this makes some sort of sense.”

Vin nods, starting lightly. “I know it’s been a long time. We’ve grown up so much that we hardly know each other anymore. But, if what happened last time is the main thing holding you back, know that it really shouldn’t be.” He starts to say something, but she presses a hand to his back, rubbing softly, and continues, her tone gentle, but firm. “I am not saying that you don’t have a reason to be worried, but I’ve already told you the missed calls or the unread texts never upset me. We’re older now, and if this is something you are really willing to try, it could work. I’m old enough to tell you that I’m willing to take the chance of getting hurt by you again. This isn’t a blind decision, Ash. I know what I’m signing up for.”

Ash continues to stare into his water glass, letting her words sink in. Part of him feels the same hope that he can hear in her words, that maybe they could have what they had again, but he still doesn’t know how to feel.

“We’d have to go slow,” he says slowly, thinking over each word carefully. “You can’t just fly into this like you do with everything else. We should really start from scratch because you were right before when you said we really don’t know each other anymore. I don’t want this to die out in a few months because we thought we could just pick up where we left off.”

“Of course.” Vin slides her hand down to rub his arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “We can take this as slow as we need. We can just be friends for a while if you want. There is no reason to rush this.”

Ashton smiles slightly, his anxieties beginning to fade into tiredness, wanting nothing but to wash the remnants of the attack off and sleep through the crash. “This might be breaking the baby-steps rule, but will you stay? I kinda want to just hold you for a while, and maybe we could grab breakfast together in the morning.”

Vin grins at the childish hope on his face. “Of course, rockstar. That sounds great.”

~~~

wanna be added to the taglist? fill out this form or send me an ask (off anon)

#ashton irwin #ai #afi #5sos #fanfiction #angst #oneshot #might expand later #my writing #ashton oneshots #5sos oneshots

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rrhearts · 5 years ago

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i am nyph.

hey fellas, my name is nyph. actually it’s not but it is what i’ll be going by on this tumblr, LOL. i am a switch, my previous boyfriend was always dominant. now i am in a relationship where i am the domme, most of the time. this is the quickest introduction i’ve ever written, oof.

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ges-sa · 7 years ago

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Geek Services SA - Altered State (Repairs & Customs)

New Post has been published on https://ges-sa.com/geek-services-sa-altered-state-repairs-customs/

Geek Services SA - Altered State (Repairs & Customs)

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LOCAL IS LEKKER…

This part of a feature series where we showcase some of the most talent creators and service providers South Africa has to offer.

With everything from custom figures to bespoke cakes – let us show you the magic that’s practically next door!

INTRODUCTION:

You know how the story goes…

You have an epic piece in your collection and the cat the cleaning lady or an upset spouse does the worst and breaks it.

Your heart shatters just like your will to live.

Well in our first ever feature in this new ongoing series we had a chat with Lars Nielsen of “Altered State”.[/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”29064″ img_size=”large”][vc_column_text]So Lars, tell us a little more about yourself .

I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.

Just kidding. Not much to tell really. When I’m not in my garage creating, I’m spending time with my wife and 5 year old son or working in my “normal” job of selling natural stone tiles and cladding but my ultimate dream is to sculpt full time.

(I’m an) Avid collector of pop culture collectibles, mostly comic, movie and gaming characters, however I’m very passionate about my music and supporting the local metal scene, so a large part of my collection and my creations are inspired by this.

Where does the name Altered state come from?

It was actually a very spur of the moment choice. Like most of my ideas, it came in the early hours of the morning while busy in my workshop (I make it sound so fancy but it’s actually my garage workbench that I have re-purposed).

I had been wanting to give my hobby an identity of its own for a while but was struggling to come up with a fitting name. One of my favourite albums is Arise by Sepultura, and one of my favourite tracks on the album is, take a guess, Altered State. And that is how it happened.

I thought it was fitting as most of my work involves altering objects, whether from a ball of clay into a statue, a broken statue into a fixed one or even repaints. Nothing leaves my garage in the same state that it arrived.

[/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”29074″ img_size=”large”][vc_column_text]How did you discover your powers?

Lol. No super powers here, just a lot of practice and determination.

I was very into building model kits as a kid (very badly now that I look back on them!) and as money was a bit tight back then had to figure out to fix my toys very early on as there was no chance of my folks getting me a new one when something broke

I had pretty much got out of it until a fellow collector posted some pics of his broken statues a couple of years back on one of the groups. I offered to fix them, he thought I was crazy. I fixed it and the rest is history.

The sculpting side started off much the same. I purchased a vintage Toy Biz Thing model kit from one of the markets in Cape Town and on getting home discovered that his feet were missing. I figured how hard can it be and purchased my first block of clay.

Well whats amazing is that you give items we thought are history a whole new lease on life! As a whole, what sort of services do you offer?

I don’t think I have turned anyone away yet so I may be a bit of a sucker for punishment having repaired everything from high end statues to vintage porcelain porridge bowls

I guess you could narrow it down to repairs on resin and cold cast porcelain statues (action figures to a lesser degree), custom sculptures and customisation (including customised Funko Pops, custom repaints etc). I am always keen on a challenge.

[/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”29069″ img_size=”large”][vc_column_text]What’s the most “challenging”, or toughest repair you have ever done?

They all present very unique challenges from sculpting missing pieces from scratch, tricky paint matching etc. Really difficult to pick out a single one, but I’d have to say all the cape repairs I have done. Especially Superman as red is a nightmare to match up. Metallic Red is especially painful. Repairing hands and creating missing fingers is also something I do a lot of.

Everybody knows how Funko Pop! Vinyl Figures are “THE” thing among collectors over the last few years. Tell us more about your custom Pop! Vinyl Figures.

Okay, so imagine being able to get a statue or Pop of your favourite character in a certain pose or from a certain scene of your favourite movie. Now you look around and realise that NONE of the big companies have made it.Well, that’s where I come in!Basically the only limit is your imagination (and your budget! wink wink)I have done some pretty interesting custom Pop! figures recently.

I have to say the most interesting and fun (though challenging) things has to be finding a way to communicate the vision of a client in this form while still managing to keep the POP! aesthetic in place – from the features right down to the box!

[/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”29072″ img_size=”large”][vc_column_text]Is your custom build service limited to Pop! Vinyl Figures or would you take a stab at custom statues and figures?

I have done quite a few custom figures and “Altered State” limited release items, though I’m still waiting on that commission of a statue!

It’s pretty big overseas with some amazing artists whose custom pieces go for quite a bit but I think it is something that hasn’t really caught on in South Africa yet.

The way I see it, why settle for number X of 5000 pieces when you can have number 1 of 1!

Tell us more about the Altered State limited release items

Although most of my custom work is one off, I do mold and cast some of my work in resin. As each one is hand painted with the same care as the original they are all pretty much limited release. So far I have made a Deadpool bust and have the Pop! customisation service.

I do have a few ideas in mind and products in development so be sure to follow me on Social Media.[/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”29075″ img_size=”large”][vc_column_text]Okay, so that brings us to the awkward part – what kind of pricing are we looking at?

It really depends on the amount of work involved and the time it will take. Repairs generally from R 250 upwards. With custom work it is much the same.

My custom Pops are generally priced from R700 – R1500 depending on the level of customisation required as well as other add on items like a custom box and interchangeable parts for example.

With that being said though, nothing is cast in stone – I’m a collector as well and I know how expensive the hobby is so I am always happy to come up with ways of fitting into my client’s budget.

What sort of turn around time are we looking at?

Again it depends on the amount of work involved and how my work bench is looking. Besides the actual sculpting and painting of custom pieces there is quite a bit of planning and research that goes into each piece.

A big part of what I do is keeping my clients posted every step of the way with progress photos etc. Its part of the fun and excitement and I try make it a great experience for them whether I’m doing a repair or creating a one a kind piece.

Sounds great, so for repairs, how does one get one’s stuff to you?

Postnet to Postnet is normally the quickest/safest/cheapest option for out-of-towners.

If you’re in the area I have great consulting hours and have even been known to make house calls [/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]

GET IN TOUCH WITH ALTERED STATE

Facebook page: (https://www.facebook.com/alteredstateza/)

Email: [email protected] or www.alteredstate.co.za.

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WHAT DID YOU THINK?

Have you had an experience with this Service Provider? Have a question or two you would like us to answer? Have suggestions for reviews/ features you would like us to investigate?

Would you like us to feature you and your service?

Feel free to hit us up in the comments section below!

In the meanwhile, and for more great content be sure to follow Zaid “DarthZadyBun” Motala on his Social Media platforms as listed below.

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#Geek Services SA

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