#the reality is i cant. i cant go. not unless one of the people i texted gets back to me saying theyll come in

[theposhperyton]

All evidence suggests yes

[bittwitchy]

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

[summerlycoris]

Guess whos potentially working a triple tomorrow?????????

Im going to transform into my final form if this shit keeps up i swear to god.

[mrfoox]

Bruh why do i take everything so fucking personal stop 😭

[moonsaver]

I cant help but think The Family and whoever helped actually construct the Dreamscape actually doesnt use it. I feel like they all stay far far away from actually hopping into the Dreamscape unless its for matters they need to attend to, just to keep up appearances

Like those influencers who advertise a product but never actually use it themselves? Something like that. The real dreamscape is falling apart at the seams, and is deathly unstable.

That was just a small thought. Next is my brain rot.

Imagine Yan!Sunday sleep deprives you. Very, very often.

You get cranky, irritated, annoyed at the slightest thing, and your jabs only get more and more personal as he keeps you continuously awake. Loud, vast spaces full of bustling people, bright lights, constantly forcing you to shove down caffeine-pumped drinks that are sometimes manufactured by The Family personally.

And for once, you are begging to go to sleep. To finally hit your head on a soft pillow in a quiet and dark room. And he lets you. You almost welcome the dream fluid, as he gently places you down into it (by his insistence, of course).

And you hadn't paid attention when he was talking – of course you didn't, practically delirious from whatever they pump into those energy drinks. The dream fluid in your private room is much more so different from the average one. Its almost a light gold color, and if you didn't hate Sunday so much, you would have told him it reminded you of his beautiful, gold eyes.

Although.. the dreamscape you end up in is more like a dream rather than another reality. And the dream itself isn't what you'd prefer. Every move of yours is calculated by the crafter, and someone else is in the scenario of the dream with them – you only practically live through their eyes. That "someone" is supposed to be you. You, as Sunday's most caring lover. In the dream, you're an idealized version of the relationship. You brush his hair out of his face, fetch coffee for the both of you, laugh softly when he makes a joke instead of staying quiet and letting it hang awkwardly in the air. And you know this.. simulation like the back of your hand. You've been forced to dream about it for roughly the 50th time. Sometimes the sentences rearrange, but they stay true to their message; do not bother resisting. Not even in your dreams are you free. Freedom tastes like the gold you bathe in. The gold that watches you doze off, and observes your every move. Gold that eyes anyone who even dares speak to you. Gold – as you've learnt – tastes quite bitter.

[freminet-writings]

freminet x an archon male! reader? so we’re the hydro archon instead of furina basically (still just as over-the-top ofc). basically after totally exposing them in the opera house we go to apologise and meet freminet and it’s just BOOM instant LOVEEEEE moment. then just general hc’s of freminet dating a literal god and also how the whole of fontaine and ‘Father’ would react to it? (can’t imagine all those eyes on freminet would be very easy on him so some comfort would be cute) idk let your imagination go wild i’ll be happy with anything! 🩵 (ESPECIALLY smexy time at the end ykyk 😩😩)

fuckass app crashed when i was writing and it got deleted 💀💀 i hate this place

after you embarrassingly got all your evidence debunked and realized you falsely accused the two magician siblings, and then exposed the fact they were fatui in front of everyone...you felt like you needed to apologize, you laid awake at night thinking of it

so finally you got some treats and came to their house, trying to ignore the people and cameras surrounding you, it's not everyday the hydro archon himself goes outside, not even clorinde by his side

however, instead of the twins you expected, you saw the most beautiful boy you've ever seen?? and you've been alive for a long time, you've seen many boys before!

"oh hydro dragon bless me..." you mumbled, the boy's eyes were widened, having not expected that the literal archon would be outside his door! the same archon who almost took his siblings away from him...

he noticed the cameras and sunk into himself, it was bad enough he hated attention, but now everyone knew he was fatui and it felt worse, like everyone was judging him harder

you cleared your throat "ahem! why are you all still here? this is obviously a private moment! do you want to be sent to the fortress of meropide so badly?"

quickly the people ran off, knowing you, their very... enthusiastic archon, you were not kidding, you looked pleased with yourself, now alone with this majestic boy

"you didn't have to do that..." his voice was quiet but you still swooned! "oh please, anything for a beautiful young man like yourself!'

after that day, you visited alot more often,and even requested his presence at the palais mermonia, freminet was always awkward and felt out of place, why did the archon seem to like him so much? maybe he was just doing this to try to suck up to his siblings or father

in reality you were crushing hard on this boy, as the archon you cant exactly go out and form meaningful connections without the people trying to be nice just so you don't send them to jail, though the most time spent together with him, even freminet started to grow feelings for you

eventually you cannot hold back your overwhelming feelings and confess, despite being quite scared of his reaction and how his family would react, the both of you became boyfriends! it was quite the sight for the people of fontaine, a over enthusiastic archon with a shy and quiet diver?

to say his family was shocked was a understatement, especially the knave, she would've expected someone like lyney would manage to seduce the archon, but freminet? she can't say she wasn't proud though, you can bet she'll be bragging to everyone how her son bagged a archon though, specifically the one she was investigating head on

and now she has more ways of connecting to you in a attempt to solve the crisis, and even for her own wants of the nation, and of course finding out some of the secrets of the archon

but freminet couldn't even go outside without being bombarded by paparazzi anymore, it was overwhelming and he hated it, and you understood perfectly! which is why now there's a law where you cannot even speak to the hydro archon's boyfriend unless he gives permission! perfect, isn't it?

as for the more intimate encounters, freminet can't help but feel more confident in himself, whether he's getting fucked or he's fucking you, either way he's with the most beautiful man in fontaine, and a literal god, it's hard not to feel pride knowing everyone wants you and he has you all to himself

especially if he was dominant, knowing he's got you under his control willing to listen to his demands? he feels like melting, if he's submissive, he feels the same, knowing that you were on top of him, balls deep every night? he wants to giggle and kick his feet

he'd rather drown than tell his family he's having sex though, even when arlecchino starts telling him about safe sex...knowing he's already far past that point!

what really matters to him though, is how happy you make him, he didn't realize, but he's smiling more often with you, lyney pointed it out to him, and he couldn't help but blush, he just loves you, he wouldn't care if you were a normal person or a god, he wants to stay with you forever

he starts going out more often, even going to his siblings shows alot more, just to see you, sometimes you even get him to sit beside you on your seat! the only people even allowed there were you, neuvillette and clorinde, the whole of fontaine slowly get used to seeing their archon very publicly kissing his boyfriend, you can't help it!

you just want to kiss him all the time, even neuvillette can't help but feel like a proud father, arlecchino knew she still had her own mission to investigate the oratrice and the prophecy, but she also knew freminet since he was a kid, and she knew freminet has never been happier

so maybe, just maybe, she's generally happy for her son, he really deserves that love after the shitty things he's been through, maybe she'll also attempt to have a better relationship with you, she can't have you scared of her when she'll have to walk her son down the aisle afterall

[kysuguru]

you REPLIED IM SO HAPPY😭😭🤞 btw the fact that suguru AND satoru are both her love interests im so HAPPY stsg for the WIN!!! i love how suguru and shoko automatically know what satoru is implying cause hes so so OBVIOUS!

i cant imagine the troubles suguru and satoru would have with reader.. shes so enduring and she allows them to do whatever because shes too sweet! ofc shes serious when the time comes down to it but i just know she takes the two lightly and cares too highly of their opinions to really say no to them. i 100% know suguru is worst when it comes to teasing her. in this universe i want to believe suguru does not deflect so he stays there w them. although reader probably does not realize the two actually is in love with her, she probably assumes they are with each other so she does not want to intrude.

what if shoko and reader were discussing about first dates and she finds out reader never had her first anything and sets her up with one? maybe rin or shin?! LOL and behold satoru and suguru being menaces and completely mean to her . the trouble they would cause to the way they would be so upset. reader actually enjoyed her first date but shes confused why stsg are so upset over her. they always teased her for not having a bf and when she does try theyre even more ruthless?? bc in reality to stsg they always thought she belonged to them and they’re actually in shock that shoko would do that knowing about their crushes on reader? (cue shoko laughing in the background)

i love these asks smmm😭 tysm for sending. and ur right!! i have chapter one and two written and posted on my ao3, but suguru doesn’t defect, i cant allow that. and yes… stsg are sooo annoying when it comes to jealousy. like they are so suffocating..

this is new, very new.

it was a brief conversation, so mundane you wouldn’t bother to remember it unless brought up. shoko asked a simple question. “you ever been on a date before?” after talking about her horrible experiences with lousy men. it was an easy answer, “no.”

and you thought it’d end there. of course it’s normal for girls your age to go on dates with other people, experience the life of romance at a young age, but it wasn’t odd to meet a girl your age who hadn’t been on a date. so you weren’t sure why shoko put you up to this.

rin sits across you with a beaming smile, the fluorescents of the cafe highlighting his freckles. you fiddle with the warm cup of coffee in front of you. you weren’t much of a coffee person, but you panicked and ordered the first thing on the menu. it was bitter, terribly so, you weren’t sure whether you’d prefer this or satoru’s cups of diabetes.

you sip on it occasionally, to make yourself look engaged. you hope your poker face has improved, you’d be humiliated if the bitterness on your tongue manifested itself onto your expression (rin noticed, but felt too awkward to speak up).

it’s weird, and you try pretending this wasn’t set up at a romantic date.

you like rin, he’s really nice, but you’d never even imagined him romantically.

he’s beaming at you, you think he’s blushing, and he looks as if he’s in a daze with his cheek resting on his palm. the look of adoration is so shell shocking you’re gazing around the cafe at other customers he might be looking at.

you chalk it up to excitement of being in such a nice place.

conversation with him is easy though, you realize.

it’s unlike satoru or suguru. suguru’s a listener, unlike satoru who’s a talker. they fit in so well with one another it makes it hard to fit in. you don’t mind that, watching from afar is enough for you. but you still yearn.

maybe that’s why shoko did this in the first place. to get your mind off of them. you suppose it wouldn’t be bad to broaden your spectrum, you needed more friends anyway. you couldn’t always hang onto shoko, suguru, and satoru forever.

hours pass, and before either of you know it, the sun sets.

rin was full of stories, he had so much to tell about kyoto, his classmates, and his missions. he was so fond of it all that you couldn’t bear to stop him. it was nice listening to someone on the same level as you. not that you disliked listening to satoru boast about his missions and how awesomely strong he was, but it was a nice change of pace to hear such things come from someone of your caliber.

you could get used to this.

your entering the school with a content face. you feel them both before you see them.

satoru drapes himself onto you, talking obnoxiously loud in your ear as suguru sends you a soft smile. your company with rin was wonderful, but you didn’t realize how much you missed your favorite people until you see their visages.

“where were you at for so long?” suguru asks calmly, though there’s a hint of something else you can’t really decipher. maybe suspicion.

“shoko set me up on a date with rin.” you say sheepishly, scratching your cheek.

they both freeze, you can feel the way satoru’s breath stutters as his hold gets loose. you look up at them both, brows raised.

…

it’s so silent. was it something you said? were they perhaps upset you didn’t say anything? did they want to tag along? you would’ve said yes immediately.

“rin from kyoto?” satoru whispers, and you think he sounds angry. you can’t fathom why, so you try and brush if off. even though there’s a seed of dread starting to grow in the pit of your stomach.

“yes... shoko said something about chemistry. whatever that means!” you chuckle nervously.

satoru let’s you go, backing away. now you’re worried.

“i-is something wrong?” you look up at suguru for assistance but he’s turned his head.

you shuffle your feet, anxious. they’re obviously upset, but you don’t know why. “did i do something?” that’s the only thing you could think of. or did they not like rin? he was a nice guy, so you wouldn’t understand why.

satoru rubs your head, startling you.

“it’s nothing, sweets,” he says.

but he’s walking off before you can speak any further, he makes a point not to let you see his face as he departs. suguru gives you a strained smile before he’s following. “night,” he mutters.

and even though satoru reassured you, that seed of dread continued to grow.

satoru and suguru are busy. satoru hasn’t asked for your notes in awhile. you wanna assume that he’s got it down until you hear him loudly bugging suguru for his notebook. your heart drops at the fact that satoru just hasn’t asked you. you don’t know why that hurts, it shouldn’t. maybe suguru just conveys the answer better, there’s nothing wrong with that.

they go out for lunch, leaving you and shoko in the empty cafeteria with your cold noodles. shoko’s great company, of course, but the lack of satoru’s loud voice and suguru’s scolding makes it feel eerily quiet.

nights in the common room have shrunk to just you and shoko. it’s been like this for a few days. only a few days. yet you feel as if these days are dragging on slower than usual. shoko notices, and rolls her eyes, muttering under her breath how pathetic boys could be.

you think she’s spoken to them, for they look at you a little more now. but they barely talk to you unless the situation calls for it, even then, they’re awkward.

but it isn’t until shoko has been in high demand after a dangerous mission that the first years came back from that you’re alone with them. you’re nervous, feeling their eyes trained on you. you don’t dare make contact.

they begin talking to each other, and you feel joy consume you at the familiarity of it. you’re looking up now, making eye contact with the both of them. satoru opens his mouth, but you intervene.

“i’m sorry!”

their eyes are wide.

“i’m sorry for whatever i did. it’s just.. you guys feel distant. if it’s because of me then—”

“i should say sorry,” your eyes flit up to suguru’s as he scratches his neck sheepishly. “i was being childish.” he speaks into his palm. “we were being childish.” he corrects himself, eyes glaring into satoru’s, who huffs and crosses his arms.

“so it was something i did?” your brows knit as a frown etched itself onto your lips.

“it’s more complicated than that,” suguru says. but you’re not convinced.

satoru mutters something under his breath, you catch nothing but rin’s name. so you ask him to repeat himself.

“i just don’t like rin, is all.”

you blink.

“d-did he do something?” you needed to know, if he hurt or insulted suguru or satoru in any way you were ready to break it off—

“no. not exactly, we just… don’t like you being alone with him,” suguru admits, flushed.

oh!

you felt relief fill your chest.

“i think i know now.” you smile, happily. they stare. they both lean slightly forward, anticipating. “if i ever go out with him again i’ll invite you both out!” you clap your hands together.

they were upset that they weren’t invited along. that makes sense. you’re relieved. satoru did eye that cafe whenever you three passed it.

they share a look, one of amusement and one of exasperation.

“such a ditz,” satoru grumbles.

“we’d like that,” suguru smiles.

you’re happy, so happy you could cry tears of relief.

“i’m glad, i thought you were both gonna hate me forever.”

suguru grabs your hand, caressing your palm, your heartbeat spikes. “that’d never happen.”

satoru scoots closer to you and drapes himself over your shoulders, the familiar action has your cheeks hurting from how big you’re smiling. he squishes his cheek against yours, rubbing softly as he speaks, “never go out alone with rin again, okay? you need at least me or suguru there, not even shoko’s enough!”

they will never forget how she betrayed them so.

“of course,” you exhale, joyful.

and yes, abt stsg ur also right! this is kinda a poly thing. stsg love each other and the reader

[aaronhotchnersworld]

aaron hotchner x bau female reader

I honestly didn’t like how I wrote my first oneshot, the one of y/n getting shot. I feel like I wrote it poorly so i’m going to try to write it again and just change up a few things

—

Stay with me

We are in Ohio for a case.

We just found the location of the unsub, after 2 weeks. Well actually unsubs. plural. The unsub has a whole team of people working for him. We don’t know how many they have but there are 7 of us, Aaron, Emily, JJ, Spencer, Derek, David and me.

We all quickly put on our bullets proof vests before heading to the suv’s. I got into an suv with Hotch and Prentiss.

We all arrive at the abandoned building, it is huge. Due to the fact it’s so big we all have to split up.

As soon as we enter the building, gunshots come flying our way.

We all quickly duck down and begin firing back. They all begin running in opposite directions.

It’s exactly what they want, for us to split up.

I turn and run in the direction I just saw one of them run. He turns and shoots at me, barely missing me.

He runs out the doors and I quickly run out after him.

All of a sudden, I hear a gunshot, and I fall onto the pavement.

Was I just shot?!

I feel the blood start to pour out of me as I become cold. I cant move, no matter how hard I try.

I can feel myself being surrounded in a pool of my own blood.

I can’t tell if i’ve been laying here for 10 seconds or 20 minutes. My eyes are so heavy, but I know if I close them now there’s a chance I won’t open them again.

I hear someone say my name.

Next thing I know, Hotch is kneeling down next to me putting pressure onto my side.

It’s bad. I know it is.

Tears roll down my cheeks.

“you’re going to be okay y/n. It’s okay,” He says but I can hear the panic in his voice.

I just look at him.

I’ve never seen his face like that before, the pure panic. He always manages to keep a straight face, even when dealing with the most horrible criminals.

But I can see it in his eyes that he is scared.

Tears continue to roll down my cheeks and he wipes them away with one hand while his other hand is on my side.

“it’s okay you’re okay,” he reassures me.

My eyelids become even heavier and begin closing.

“keep them open”

I open them again. I think Hotch has tears in his eyes.

“H- Hotch,” I say but he’s screaming for someone to get a medic.

I begin to choke on my blood and he quickly turns me on my side.

“Aaron,” I try to say but it comes out as a whisper.

“it’s okay I got you y/n. you are going to be okay”

I can tell he doesn’t even believe the words coming out of his mouth.

I can feel my body shaking. I can’t control it and i’m so cold.

“i- im cold.”

“i know, it’s cold out here but it’s okay you’re gonna be okay,” he says but I can sense the worry in his voice.

I can feel his shaky hands and he so desperately try’s to stop the bleeding coming out of me.

I wasn’t cold before. He knows it’s not a good sign.

My life begins to flash before my eyes.

I remember everything.

I remember how happy I was when I got accepted into the fbi.

I remember when I first started at the bau 7 years ago and how much I have grown to love everyone on the team.

I quickly snap back to reality as Hotch applies more pressure.

I can definitely see the tears in his eyes now.

I’m not ready to die. I can’t die.

“aaron”

He looks at me and I see a tear fall from his eye. I never used him first name, unless something was wrong.

“i- im not ready to die. please don’t let me die,” I practically beg him.

“you are not going to die. I got you. You will be okay y/n,” He says, I can hear his voice crack.

“please just stay with me,” He says desperately.

“i’m scared,” I manage to get out. I’m terrified and I know he is too.

“I know. It’s okay I got you and i’m not going anywhere I promise. you’re gonna be okay,” He says fearfully.

There’s only so much he can do for me. He’s not a paramedic, he’s an fbi agent, a very talented one but he only knows so much when it comes to gun shot wounds.

My eyes become even heavier and my breathing is extremely shallow.

“you need to stay with me okay? you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. Keep your eyes open.”

He’s trying to be strong for me. But I can tell he’s just as scared as me.

I need to tell him. just in case I don’t make it. He needs to know.

“if- if i don’t make it-”

He cuts me off as tears stream down both his and my face. “you are going to be okay”

“aaron please”

He just looks at me

“I- I love you,” I say.

I hear him let out a sob. “I love you too y/n I always have. Keep those eyes open. Please.”

He’s covered in blood. my blood. It’s so much blood.

I knew the risk when joining the bau. the risk that I could die. But I never thought it would actually happen to me.

The pain begins to go away and I start to feel numb.

“i- im n- not in p- pain,” I say choking on my blood.

I didn’t think any more look of panic could appear on his face but it did as soon as I said that.

I should be in pain. I know i’m slowly dying and he knows that too.

“The ambulance should be here any minute. Just keep those eyes open alittle longer,” He says as tears trickled down his cheeks.

I try my best. But I don’t think I can.

“i- im sorry,” I say as my breathing becomes even shallower and my eyes close.

The last thing I remember is Aaron begging for me to open my eyes and stay with him.

———

I don’t take my eyes off of her. I keep pressure on her side.

Her lips and fingers are turning blue.

Tears continue to slip from eyes. where the fuck is the ambulance?

I hear sirens in the background but i’m too focused on y/n to comprehend anything. I can’t lose her. I just can’t.

“aaron the ambulance is here,” derek says as they rush over.

They quickly take her from me and put her on the gurney.

“if we don’t leave now she won’t have a chance. i’m sorry but unfortunately no one can ride with us. There is too much work that needs done.” and then they leave.

“how the hell did this happen?” I cry out.

“I don’t know but I shot the son of a bitch that did this to her,” derek says and I can hear the anger and fear in his voice.

I look down at where she was. There’s so much blood. too much blood. I’m covered in blood. the grounds covered in blood. y/n was covered in blood.

“we need to go to the hospital now,” I say.

“You’re not driving aaron, I am.”

“no i am driving”

“you are not in the right mindset to drive, give me the keys so we can go,” derek tells me.

I give them to him.

We all gather into the multiple suv’s and make our way to the hospital. She has to be okay. I need her.

———

“how is she,” I immediately ask as I see the doctor. The rest of the team stands aswell.

“She lost a lot of blood. It was touch and go for awhile. Her body is too unstable so we had to put her into a medically induced coma, it will give her body time to heal. She will be in a lot of pain after due to the bullet, it did alot of damage, more than we originally thought. She will be okay and you guys can visit her if you’d like. She should wake up within the next day or two,” the doctor states.

Relief rushed over me. She’s going to be okay. Thank god. I feel tears fall from my eyes and I don’t even bother to hide them.

The doctor shows us to y/n’s room. She looks so peaceful. I feel terrible. She didn’t deserve this.

———

It takes a lot for me to open my eyes but I do it. so many bright lights. Is there a tube in my throat? oh my god i can’t breath. I need to get this out. I begin to thrash and grab the tube when 2 large hands pull my hands away.

“no no no don’t take it okay the doctors coming y/n it’s okay you’re okay”

I calm down at the sight of Aaron.

A doctor rushes in to take the tube out of my throat.

“y/n, glad to see you’re awake, i’m Doctor Stone”

“are you in any pain,” he asks.

I nod.

He puts something in my iv, asks me a few more questions before leaving. I could barely answer him. I’m so exhausted.

Aaron has been here the whole time but the team gathers in here as soon as the doctor walks about.

It’s dark outside, I didn’t realize it was 3am. The team stays for about 30 minutes before saying their goodbyes.

Aaron is still here.

“are you staying,” you ask him softly.

“I was planning on it, are you okay with that,”

“yes”

This is the first time you’ve gotten to be alone with him since you woke up.

“how are you feeling,” he asks softly as his hand lays on top of your.

“terrible,” you tell him honestly.

He frowns.

“do you need anything?”

you hesitate to answer.

“it’s okay,” he tells you.

“i- im scared aaron. can you just hug me please?” you plead as tears fall from your eyes.

He doesn’t hesitate to move closer to you and engulf you in a gentle hug. “it’s okay you’re safe now,” he whispers to you.

“you should get some rest,” he says as he pulls away.

“i’m not tired”

“you do realize i’m a profiler, you can’t fool me,” he says and I smile.

“you look like you haven’t slept aaron”

“if you get some rest, so will I”

“deal,” you say.

he shuts the light out and leaves on the little lamp next to your bed and makes his way to the couch.

I try to fall asleep but I can’t. I’m in pain and i’m just scared.

fuck.

“why aren’t you sleeping,” you hear aaron say.

“why aren’t you,” I reply.

“y/n,” he says as he gets up and sits in the chair right next to me.

“i just- my mind keeps racing. what if I died? What if you never found me? what if you found me dead? I don’t want to put you and Jack through that,” I say as my voice cracks.

He takes my hand into his.

“listen to me, you are okay. You don’t have to worry about what might have happened because I found you. You are okay y/n/n. Nothing is going to happen.”

I just smile at him.

“now come on, try and get some rest. i’ll stay right here until you fall asleep.”

“you don’t have to do that aar”

“i want too,” he says as he strokes my hand.

My eyes become heavy and I quickly fall asleep knowing he is there.

———

It’s been 10 days and i’m finally being discharged. Aaron and I were still in Ohio and the rest of the team left to go home yesterday.

“are you ready to go?”

“yes,” I tell aaron.

He helps walk me outside. I can walk, it’s just very painful to do so.

“you stay here, i’m gonna get the car,” he says as he smiles at me.

———

We’ve been driving for about 2 hours.

“how much longer?”

“we still have about 5 hours”

I sigh, “i’m sorry you have to drive all the way back just because I got hurt”

“dont even worry about it y/n. I don’t mind, really. I enjoy spending time with you. I’ve been thinking, the doctor doesn’t want you to be alone. Do you want to stay with Jack and I?”

“I’d love too but I don’t want to intrude,” I say softly.

“you could never intrude y/n and I know Jack would love to see you.”

I smile. I love Jack. “thank you aaron.”

I lean against the window and close my eyes, letting sleep take over.

———

The next time I wake up, I feel Aarons suit jacket on me. It smells just like him.

“We are about 20 minutes away from my place, do you wanna stop at your place for anything first,” he softly asked.

“no i have everything in my bag.”

It was currently 3am and we just arrived at Aaron’s house. As I get out of the car, I lean over in pain.

Aaron rushes over and puts his hand on my back.

“are you okay? what hurts?” he asked urgently.

I just nod my head.

he grabs both of our bags and helps me into the house and guides me to the bedroom.

“you can sleep in here y/n, i’ll stay on the couch”

“no no no please I don’t want to take your bed.”

“y/n it’s okay I don’t mind.”

“I- I don’t really want to sleep alone,” I whisper feeling ashamed.

He sits next to me on the bed and grabs my hand.

“okay that’s okay, i’ll stay in here with you, okay?”

I nod as a tear falls from my eye.

He gently wipes it away.

“let’s go to sleep,” he softly says. He helps me get under the covers. It’s very painful.

I wince in pain.

“I know i’m sorry,” he says sympathetically.

He goes over and shuts off the light and gets under the covers with me.

“Can I move closer to you,” I ask quietly.

I don’t think he wants me to move because he moved closer to me.

I lay my head on his chest and he strokes my hair.

“I like you Aaron, a lot,” I admit.

“and I like you even more,” he says as he kisses my forehead.

“go to sleep y/n” he whispers in my ear

———

I wake up to noise coming from the kitchen. I realize Aarons not in bed anymore. I try to get up, but immediately wince in pain.

Aaron walks into the room and rushes over to me, “hey hey hey what are you doing?”

He helps me up and guides me into the living room, letting me sit on the coach. “Y/N,” I hear. Jack. He runs over to me and gives me a hug. “Hi buddy,” I say as I giggle.

“I hope you feel better,” he says softly.

“thank you jack.”

“why don’t you go get it for her Jack,” aaron says to Jack.

i’m confused. What is he talking about?

Jack comes running back with breakfast for me.

“Daddy and I made you breakfast,” he says excitedly.

“Thank you both so much I appreciate it,” I tell them with a smile on my face.

Aaron sits down next to me while Jack walks to the bathroom.

“you guys didn’t have to do all this for me,” I tell him.

“yes we did. You’re hurt and you need to fuel your body to get better.”

“Thank you Aaron,” I say and lean my head on his shoulder.

He kisses my forehead.

“I will always be here for you y/n and so will Jack. You two are the most important to me.”

I smile as he says that.

“Once you get better, i’m gonna take you out on a date, how would you feel about that,” he asks with a smile.

“I would love that,” I say with a big smile on my face.

[captainmera]

How do you think Belos would react if he found out Hunter had feelings for Willow,a witch, just like his brother?

As a man of repetitive patterns - I'd say he'd kill him?

"It hurts every time he chooses to betray me"

can mean lots of ways Caleb betrayed Philip. It's vague and Philip gets to interpret it however he wants for every new grimwalker. It's almost like he expects it of them - otherwise, why always have one in the making?

Betrayal of wanting to be himself. Betrayal of loving a witch. Betrayal of loving the demon realm. Betrayal of disagreeing with ideologies. Betrayal of wanting to quit the coven system/Golden guard. Betrayal of running away.

Essentially, Hunter checks every mark of betrayal.

"you looked the most like him" <- WELL, DING DONG BELOS THE NEWS IS HERE; YOUR NEPHEW IS MORE ALIKE CALEB IN OTHER WAYS THAN LOOKS ALONE!

Unless there was a reason of absolute that caused Belos to refrain from killing Hunter, if he has a use for him he no longer can get from anything or anyone else (making a new grimwalker might not be on the table anymore, for one), I think it would just be a matter of time before he kills Hunter too.

Put a mental pin in this note: No new grimwalkers mean no new person to exercise his cycle of reliving trauma and self-abuse with.

I don't think there is anything Hunter could've done. He would never have been who and what Belos wanted. Belos would have killed him.

I think the psychology, if I may be so bold and a little controversial here, is that Philip has a genuine trauma (as per definition of it) in regards to Caleb.

Here's something about trauma, yeah? It's not just innocent people who get it. Awful, horrible, people get trauma too. Sometimes, they are awful horrible people because of trauma.

In Philip's case, I think he was traumatized by the abandonment - as well as the humongous moral injury on top of it when finding out his brother chose to leave him and was happier now.

Side note: You know when you have a bully, then you grow up and you've had this awful life because you were traumatised by this person's abuse to you. In whatever extent it was. Could've been one moment, or a long period of time. Whatever it was, it left a significant mark on you that stagnated your life. As an adult, you look them up. Surely, a person who does that can't just... move on, right? There must have been karma, something! Anything! Divine justice! Nope. They just have a happy life, this whole time. People even love them.. And there you are. Broken.

Kind of the same vibe but a bit to the left.

Did you know that killers suffer ptsd?

It makes sense. Soldiers does! They're just people in war. But killers, you know, people who kill in self-defence or set out to kill for whatever reason in the context of regular society (and not in lines of war or duty). They actually, majority of the time, get trauma from it.

Soldiers don't need to have psychopathic tendencies to be able to kill another human being. Nobody does.

I don't think Belos began as a psychopath, 'nor a sociopath or a narcissist. I think he is a normal dude, whom due to trauma and repetitive re-living of that trauma has skewed his view of reality to such an extreme that he frankly just.... is functionally delusional.

He is a smart dude, who got crazy and scary, because he is delusional, wounded and functional.

Belos seeks his trauma out in a new setting where he has control over what happens. He sets it up the same every time. Has the same result every time.

He is a self-abuser.

Sometimes people seek out to revisit the trauma they experience, but in a way where they are in control of what happens.

Serial killers are interesting in this factor. Especially if we go by the stereotypical reason why male serial killers do what they do - Developing a need to impose power and murder the person they cant actually murder. Projecting to the extremes. At it's core, it's just the chase to impose power over a situation they had no power in.

In Belos case, is by all accounts a serial killer! ...With delusions of grandeur and lives in a delusional version of what reality actually is.

He absolutely slots right into that.

Consciously or not, he's trying to exert control over Caleb, the person who caused his trauma and, in his eyes, his abuse. Caleb leaving was, to Belos, abuse. By definition anyway, yeah. Unfortunately, if it hurts the person, yeah. That doesn't mean Caleb owes him shit though.

Killing Caleb was, most likely, very traumatic.

So, the moral injury of betrayal, coupled with murdering Caleb, possibly caused this cycle of murder.

I know some people are going to read this and cringe all "Don't call it trauma" but it is. It is trauma. Trauma is not some moral debate, it's an injury on the psyche or emotional state, your soul even. It is a wound.

And wounds can heal, and they can.. like in Belos case... Just escalate and consume them.

Belos just didn't fucking COPE.

Like, this would have been so different if he just COPED. But he has no friends, no family, he's isolated and wounded and single minded and scientific. It's all the right and wrong things to shape him into a dude that... did. not. cope.

And being HUNDREDS OF YEARS OLD just living and breathing and doing NOTHING ELSE than committing your ENTIRE EXISTENCE to this repetition... This wound.. Dissecting it over and over and over and over AND OVER.. Well...! There he is!

Belos, everyone!

What a dick. :V

People rarely want to discuss the ugly of mental illness. And the horrible people trauma can create.

In no shape or form am I excusing Belos behaviour or actions, just explaining the road it might've gotten there.

Again, it's not just the innocents that can have trauma.

I've personally met people who just.. They're an endless cycle. They were traumatized, they became not-so-great people... Never coped. Made it their whole identity.

And they think, because they're hurting; it's fair game to hurt others. Because to them it's not reaaal hurt. Because only victims hurt, right? And they were a victim once, they feel like a victim, they still live in that role.

And abusers are bad, victims are good. So they will never admit that they can do wrong. In their mind, they're the good guy forever. And you saying otherwise means you must be a bad one.

Some people, not all and not majority, finds control and comfort in remaining the victim - meaning they can never ever be the abuser in their mind either. Thus, starting a new cycle where they hand out abuse in the disguise of "love" or demanding "love" from someone.

Belos, absolutely, sees himself as the good guy. The one who was BETRAYED. He fails to see that he is betraying his brother, his long line of nephews- his own humanity even.

Everyone else (grimwalkers) is the bad guy if they don't become the one to heal them (belos), or cater to their needs.

Suddenly, it's your job to ensure they're okay, not hurting. And you will, because you love them. Right? If you didn't, you're a bad person. And you don't want to be that, do you? Disappoint them?

Belos, also, by repeatedly committing the murder of his brother is continuously abusing himself and re-traumatising himself. Death and empathy would wain and fade out. With practice comes perfection.

Basically he's training himself to feel less, because he has deluded himself into thinking the inhabitants of the Demon Realm aren't actual people - so it's okay. To him. To kill them.

And by murdering, and feeling less empathy per murder, coupled with his scientific desire to explore and dissect to understand as a way to (like doctors do) dehumanise the carcass he's working on, it's no wonder he started feeling less empathy.

And saw this growing lack of empathy as... Well, proof. Proof he's right. They aren't people.

With all this being said...

I don't think this is something he could repent from. It would take twice the time it took for him to get to this point. What? 300-400 years? so... 600-800 more just to give him a chance to repent?

Now, could HE heal from it? I'm sure he could. But that would not include being forgiven or going without punishment - if that punishment is death, yeah. sorry man. Off with your head.

ANYWAY.

Hunter and his uncle.

Belos abuse exerted upon Hunter is, in many forms, guided to shape Hunter into being the version of Caleb Belos wants Caleb to be.

But, also having this subconscious understanding that this boy is NOT his brother, and calling him his nephew and even giving him a name that symbolises what he wishes Caleb to be (Hunter, Witch Hunter. You could even say the GG is a general - so, witch hunter general).

All of this, possibly, as deranged as it is - in an attempt to reverse the roles.

Belos gets to be Caleb (the person who held "power" in the dynamic), gets to be admired, the way Philip admired his brother, which is now Hunter loving his uncle.

While still weirdly parading his nephew as his brother.

I think the psychology is layered in several ways here.

He he is forcing Hunter to be all of the vulnerable parts of his own younger self, while also forcing him to be everything he wanted his older brother to be. Making Hunter both an embodiment of what he hates in himself as well as what he admired in Caleb.

A very contradictory combo that, no doubt, would make Hunter's life hell to try understand - it's not a secure attachment, to have a violently out bursting parental figure that flip-flops between loving what you do for them but hating a vague invisible something you'll never understand that you also are.

Hunter's familial love is genuine, I don't doubt Belos has familial feelings towards Hunter. But I think, because he is so desensitised and on some level of delusion knows the grimwalkers will never be "good enough", that he is both emotionally and mentally prepared to watch life exit his nephew's eyes. So the attachment isn't a normal one.

He reduce it to the degree of putting the family dog out. Like "oh, it does hurt me, but I can get a new dog." kind of feelings.

Which is like, holy shit dude. What the actual hell is wrong with you.

But that's just... That's who the trauma has turned him into.

Yeah...!

Yeah!

I mean.. I'm not surprised..! Are you?

Humans can create the worst of monsters. Not because they have a negatively affiliated diagnosis like narcissism. But because the conditions were just right (or wrong) enough to make this genocidal maniac.

:l

So, long answer made short:

As a man of repetitive patterns - I'd say he'd kill him.

just straight up bye bye nephew. <:')

THIS WAS LONGER THAN EXPECTED.... I'M GOING TO HAVE LUNCH NOW.

[dballzposting]

If you watch DBZ then you see that like...

We See Ttunks and Goten separately before we see them interact.

TRUNKS: He is a lively kid. He is excited to see Gohan, and thinks very highly of him. He did think that the Saiyaman outfit was cringe however. He trains with his dad. He seems to have fun being himself. He seems happy and confident.

GOTEN: ough god hes sofunny. He is VERY energetic and very loving. Partly due to age and partly due to who his father is, he is pretty thick-skulled. Definitely naive. Not a pushover, holds his own, but he does defer to Gohan's direction, trusting dearly.

GOTEN & TFUNKS INTEEACTING: immediatly we see something change in Trunks. Goten is the same but Trunks changes. I think it's becasue the expectation of the tournament changes him, hes in public, hes wearing a certain face, etc - but when he was informed that he had to fight in the Junior Division, his voice dropped an octave and he says to Goten smth to the effect of "you hear that Goten? What a load of barnicals."

It makes sense given who Trunks's parents are that he knows how to trash talk in a fight. It also makes sense that Goten didn't know what he was hearing when Trunks was spitting shit with that blond-mullet kid.

Trunks isnt even that particularly arrogant, but hes defintiely a kid who is behaving how he thinks he ought to, I.E. doing the best with what has been modeled for him.

Bless his heart - he didnt even know enough to know to go easy on Mr Satan. No one fucking tells this kid anything.

Goten has no tact or finesse. His father is a genius when it comes to battle, though he had his sloppy moments as a youth - but even accounting for that, Goten isnt the prodigy that Goku was. Unlike Goku, Goten has genuine hobbies and interests other than fighting, so he just cant dedicate all of his soul to that.

And he just lacks tact and finesse. It's becasue he's 7 but to be honest he is 100% DEFINITELY EXACTLY LIKE THAT in DBGT as well.

Goten shoots that kamehame-ha and destroys a bit of the building. Meanwhile Trunks has the foresight to Not blow up the audience with his ki blast. He also had the good sense to suggest that they stop using ki blasts. Trunks has received good training. Meanwhile Goten is out here just going for it

Trunks has a set of inner rules that hes following: he has guardrails: he has a sense of order, he understands where he is in a hierarchy, his spirit is being tamed.

His inner rules are things like: keep it cool, dont let them see you sweat, listen to your parents, have discipline and control in battle, stay resilient, stay prideful, WIN HARD, keep it cool, do what you're supposed to do; the rules for the regular folk dont apply to you becasue you're cooler; do well by yourself, earn your keep, earn your pride, be sneaky and dont get caught.

Meanwhile Goten's inner rules are more like: BE POLITE, mind your manners, always stand back up, be fair, listen to what Gohan says, live and let live, be nice to everyone unless they're mean to you, dont hesitate to defend yourself when you feel slighted.

Goten's rules foster more self-direction and intuition, whereas I feel like Trunks's rules get him all shaken up in the long run. They're less in-the-present-reality based.

When Goten walked out into the arena, he was amazed at how many people there were. Every time he won, he was bashful, and gave a bow.

When Trunks entered the tournament grounds, he slung his bag over his shoulder and walked like his father. He kept his arms crossed against all the other contestants, feeling slighted at having been placed in the junior division to begin with.

Trunks really felt that he deserved better than the Junior Division, and he wasnt wrong at all; but the fact that he saw that, felt that way, and acted on it says a lot about the sorts of values that hes growing up with.

I feel like if it was just Goten, he would have accepted that and had fun.

When Trunks gets to be with just Goten, he becomes a lot more spontaneous, eager, and happy. But he changes when the eyes are on him. At the same time, hes used to people, living in the city and being rich and all. I guess that's why he knows how to behave around them. Or maybe hes just shy like his dad.

Goten didnt know how to act in front of all those people, so he just acted like himself..

But also, Trunks isnt perfectly natural around Goten, becasue he does like to be better than him. Becasue he expects it. Becasue he ought to be. Becasue his dad tells him so. Or, rather, implies it.

BUT when Gohan asked Goten how strong Trunks was, Goten sang his praises and said that he won Every Time. But when Vegeta asked Trunks how strong Goten was, Trunks gave a modest answer, and said that they were pretty well-matched, and he explains their discrepancy likely being due to just age.

IDK. These details fascinated me two years ago when I first saw it and I still like it. It's a good show....

[cccotard]

alright gonna be so ill about this scene rq and why its so incredibly amazing for Kanna’s character

Kanna understands the power of emotions and how it can drive people to do things they normally wouldn't, while other characters cannot quite grasp the concept. She's the only one confirmed going through it with hallucinations, (Sara, Keiji, and arguably Shin,) but isn't letting them deter her in any way, and in fact accepts the people who died trying to protect her and is living for her; which is obviously not the case with the other three.

Sara lets the memory of Joe completely consume her in chapter 2, and in the emotions route, while she no longer struggles with hallucinations of Joe, it's still evident that his death changed her motivations. This is different from Kanna, who already learned this lesson with her sister’s death in chapter 1-2; she learned from Reko and Sara to not let her sister’s death completely consume her and then learned from Shin's death how to recognize what compelled them to sacrifice themselves for her

The difference doesn't seem like a lot but it’s 'living for yourself, learning your strength from the people who loved you and could see it when you couldn't' vs 'living to not have someone's sacrifice in vain' y’know? It says a lot about Sara and Kanna's self worth in relation to the deaths of their loved ones.

Looking at Shin, while his hallucinations are more implied, I think it's fair to believe that at the Very Least he would struggle with delusions revolving Kanna's death.

^This scene specifically showcasing how if its not struggling with the reality of Kanna’s death, he’s ignoring it to cope. It’s easier to pretend the people he has to be allies with didn’t have as big of a role in her death as they did. - (this dialogue from Shin and Keiji is some of my favorite but that’s for another day)

Back to the topic at hand, after Kanna's death, Shin's motivations completely shift. One of my favorite scenes in 3A is when the gang uses the elevator for the first time and whichever one Sara decides to use, Shin uses the opposite. Of course, this can read as him just being petty, but before this, Shin typically followed people with high percentages- he usually wouldn't go somewhere for the first time by himself unless he goes with someone with a high percentage, or at least scoped out by someone with a higher percentage. This is such a character defining moment because this illustrates  he is no longer desperate for his own survival. 

Chapter 3 and on, Shin is only motivated by revenge. Revenge for Kanna, revenge for everything he's lost. His motivations went from 'cheat the death game, beat the odds. just survive, fuck everyone else' to 'revenge for Kanna, I don’t care if I die anymore, just as long as these people go down with me, how dare these people kill someone innocent' (how logical of him to throw his own survival....) 

And finally Keiji- Keiji, like Kanna, went into the introduction scene already struggling with the death of a loved one, but he went into it knowing how to suppress his emotions way better. He, of course, lost Mr Policeman a while before the death game and is not a 14 yr kid who just lost her sister. Arguably, Keiji is one of the most, if not is the, most logical character in the game. He does a lot of cruel things for the sake of his, or someone he care's abouts’ survival - which is why he is able to vote for Kanna, or go behind Saras back for all the card trading in mg 2. Both cruel, but both helped him and Sara's chances of survival.

Keiji lost a kind part of himself after Mr. Policeman’s death. I'm not saying he’s evil, or cant feel emotions, but he is kind of .. empty. He’s been going through this death game motivated by his primal urge to survive. The only times his emotional side comes out is when his grief is pulled out and is used against him, like with Everything with Midori in 3A or all the gun discussions. Which due to the suppression of this grief and him not healing from Mr. Policeman’s death, it completely overwhelms and consumes him.

Joe, Kanna, and Mr.Policeman's deaths all communicated to the people that wanted to save them that they were Too Weak to save them. Something they did, or failed to do, caused their death. It is Sara/Shin/Keiji’s fault. 

And now why Kanna's 'Kind Hallucinations' are amazing - she's the only character to willing to accept her weakness, and realize that she is surviving because the people before her saw her strength. Kanna knows she’s stuck in a death game and has little-to-no control over almost everything around her. But despite that, she stands up to characters like Midori in chapter three, not because of Shin or Kugie, but because she is strong; she is doing it for herself, and of course she has the world's best cheerleaders behind her, if only in spirit.

[randomshit657]

I’m going to be talking about OCD and Intrusive thoughts, and very briefly religious trauma. And maybe slight disordered eating. If that will bother you please skip.

Okay so I know that many people aren’t going to see this but if even one person sees this and maybe learns something I’ll be happy.

Okay so I have OCD, and that’s kind of what I want to talk about. I promise you I’m not trauma dumping just listen for a moment.

I’ve known I had OCD since I was in 4th grade but it never really felt like I actually had it because of all the stereotypes surrounding it.

I never needed to keep everything perfectly clean or check things multiple times or any of that. It took me years to actually accept I had it because of these stereotypes. Instead I just felt crazy or wrong or bad, and I don’t want anyone to feel that.

I thought that mine wasn’t that severe so it didn’t mean anything. Trust me it does. If you’ve been diagnosed or think you have it, I would highly recommend getting therapy because trust me you don’t want it to get bad.

Anyway I’m here to talk about some things about OCD. Starting with the intrusive thoughts.

I don’t think the intrusive thoughts that come with OCD are really discussed enough when in reality they are the reasons for the compulsions.

First things first intrusive thoughts aren’t “I want to dye my hair at 3 am.” That’s an impulsive thought there a huge difference, and I’m not trying to attack you for using intrusive thoughts in that context especially if you didn’t know the difference, but it’s important you know the difference and you the terms in the proper context.

And I say this because if people start believing intrusive thoughts are things you actually want to do but just do impulsively it’s going to cause a huge problem especially for people with OCD.

If you have OCD your intrusive thoughts can be terrible, awful things. That they don’t want to do. Let me repeat that people with OCD don’t want to do their intrusive thoughts hence the compulsions because their brain convinces them that whatever they do will stop the thoughts.

But those thoughts are just something impulsive you want to do they are a lot of the time truly disturbing things. Sometimes these thoughts will get so bad people with lock themselves in their houses because they are scared of hurting someone. When I’m actuality these people are the least likely to actually act on these thoughts.

Now let’s get onto compulsions. When most people think of compulsions they think of hand washing or having to do something a certain amount of times but we’ll that can be the case from some people those aren’t the only types of compulsions.

For example reassurance seeking can be a compulsion. Asking your friends things like “Am I a bad person?” Or “Do you still love me?” or whatever your intrusive thoughts are telling you.

I’m going to explain a few of mine because I would say mine aren’t as well known. For instance waking up every morning and the first thing I have to think being “Today is the day the world will end.” Because I was always told god would destroy it when I least expected it so now if I don’t repeat it every morning I’m on edge all day.

Or not being able to stomach anything that isn’t labeled gluten free or made by me, I also cant eat unless I know I can go home after on the off chance some gluten made it’s way into it and I get sick.

The last one I’m going to mention is being overly nice to everyone at school. I would have such vivid thoughts about someone hurting people at school that even if this person was a huge jerk I would be nice to them or go out of my way to complement them because that would somehow fix thing.

The point is compulsions come in all shapes and forms and OCD is rarely logical, but it doesn’t change the fact that it feels logical. Just because you don’t fit a the stereotype doesn’t mean you don’t have it. It’s important to know that because with everything else your probably going through with this disorder you don’t need denial on your plate aswell.

It’s important to try and get help for this disorder because honestly it can be scary, and can cause a hole pile of other issues. But if you can’t here are some pointers.

1. Do your best to not participate in the compulsions. Now this won’t be easy at all and that doesn’t mean they’ll go away but they’ll be easier to manage. Trust me. I was forced to break one from sheer in ability of not being able to do it and it sucked but I was happier than I had been in months after I got through that.

2. Remember the intrusive thoughts aren’t you, and tell your brain that to.

3. I know it sounds silly and might not help everyone it i know for me kind of talking to my brain like a child works. Like “I know what you are feeling is very real but why don’t we try watching tv for a bit and see if you still want to do it then. Okay?” And then just try and distract yourself. It’s not fool proof but you know.

4. Just remember you’re stronger than you think. I know it’s hard and some days are really going to suck. But as hard as it is you can work through it. It won’t go away but it will become easier.

Anyway that’s it. I know this is a little rambely but I hope it gets the point across.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

am think about how tired how difficult how suck it is be higher support needs higher autism level

idk how explain because am not like. go through all day hate it hate self because honestly not even that aware of it most times it just is. see some higher level/support needs people say if give choice would want not born autistic high needs/levels and am absolute understand why they think that but if me, i don’t know if i would or would not because don’t know any different. can’t understand different perspective can’t understand experience that don’t have can’t even pretend imagine because theory of mind impairment can’t even think that.

but also would not say want reborn like this without hesitate. because need help everything every day and every day so struggle

most days just is not aware of it not think about it just follow but sometimes realize grim reality of would probably literally die if left alone for long will have depend on others for entire rest of life will never be independent never private. and that really scary and make feel sad and hopeless and scared

sure nothing wrong with need help nothing wrong with never can independent but with level of help need, depend on other people also mean depend on their free time, energy, health, mood, generosity, ability, want to help, money, etc etc. if want do something but other people not free or even just. they don’t want to, will not able. if other people sick or when parents go old, will be neglected. if take advantage of me, many times i literally wouldn’t even know.

will never be spontaneous like others. never in charge of own life like others.

even more suck that. even things you like. become too much cognitive load when do by self. so even thing enjoy is hard. even nonverbally respond to people even go places inside home too much cognitive (and physical) load.

cant even open container by self. wouldn’t even know to eat by self will not eat entire day if leave alone. need other people make sure brush teeth good clean. need other people physical help entire shower time. need other make sure go bed on time. need other people plan day for. need other people prompt n guide n direct go one activity to other and know what do next or else stuck do one entire day. many more. so many things have even trouble think and write and describe all. all of these sound so tame don’t even know how describe

sucks

[unless mutual. or frequent interact and i have talk to you before (which i count as mutual). do not reblog. especially do not add “i relate to this.” mutuals okay.

leave reblog open for mutuals but may close it depend on own comfort]

[the-s1lly-corner]

I'm back on my silly goofy haha bullshit once more. [This time with itward]

Itward with a reader who likes to make bread and tend to plants, maybe they make flower crowns and gifts for itward like bread and plant related things! [A basket made out of dead grass or handmade paper/books! Paper can be made from a bunch of weeds and just plants in general mixed with baking soda and boiled!]

Make sure to take time to rest, get water and eat something, such as a snack! :D

Itward x reader who bakes and does plant stuff !

LETS GO ITWARD FANS WE EATING TONIGHT!!!!!

God I'm so so sad that fran bow and little misfortune is.. not that popular <\3 or at least doesnt have a huge active fanbase

Which sucks because it deserves the attention! The game is amazing and did a lot for me growing up (comfort media am I right?) And you can tell the creators put so so so much passion into the games

Also itward pretty

Honestly until we are confirmed otherwise, I like to think that everyone returned to ithersta after the end of the game... and until more content comes out (iirc they are working on a DLC bonus chapter! Dont quote me on that !!) And disproves that, I am going to believe that itward raises fran in ithrsta

Anyways

Whether the reader is human or from a different reality, they're here in ithersta, too! Plus I think that's the most fitting place given the prompt :0

You and itward love baking together, often exchanging recipes and sharing tips on how to get the best product!

Imagine you two start a garden in order to be more self sufficient! Berries and veggies (get creative with the bread flavors!!!!) and the like are grown in your garden as well as some herbs and such! As well as other general plants that may be needed for whatever; potions, ointments, ect!

Plus itward just seems to be the type to be as self sufficient as possible, doesn't tend to buy things unless it's something he truly cant produce on his own..

Very friendly but asides from Fran, mr midnight, palontras, ziar, and the great wizard, and even cogwing, I dont think itward speaks to many people, given his introverted nature... at least according to the character sheet KMGs posted a few months ago!

Keeps every single piece of paper you've made for him. Compiling them all into multiple books! Keeps all his books in a little shelf he built in his ship... they're all kept neat, tidy, and dusted!

Ooouuugh he looooves when you make him flower crowns, loves slipping them around his hat and letting them rest on the brim of it

Dries out the crowns so he can preserve them for as long as possible... adds them to the main area of his flying ship, where the little shadow theatre thing is!

No thoughts only you two in the garden and he tucks a flower behind your ear.. looks at you with so so much love

You think his eyes can get all huge? Like cat eyes? Because I think so... his eyes get all round when he looks at you

Full of love

Okay back to the baking portion of this because I'm kind of neglecting it a bit, I feel

Theres nothing sweeter than baking something with your loved one, and enjoying your team work and company

I think you guys would have music softly playing in the background while you both work together

Maybe I want to rewatch fried green tomatoes, but you guys end up having a lighthearted food fight

Completely out of character for itward, but I think you can spark this silliness in him

Plus despite what the suit may imply, I think itward doesnt mind getting dirty... I mean he literally is an engineer! Bro probably gets greasy sometimes! Please help him clean the crevices between his bones

... that's another idea I absolutely adore and have talked about ^^^

Hold his hand and help him clean between his bones, please please he'd be so still and patient

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

What is your stance on writing ethnographies involving illegal activites, in particular squatters and city squats? i have a great interest in them yet i cant help but think no paper can ever be written if my findings are 90% incriminating stuff. ofc i can go the no name no address but that is definitely not enough.

Oh I love this question. I think ethnographies involving illegal activities are fantastic and fascinating and important; how do people on the fringes or who are disenfranchised from mainstream society go about their lives? Why are they disenfranchised, and what kind of communities do they form? Why are their activities illegal? Should they be decriminalized? How would decriminalization affect individuals in these communities? And a whole host of other questions. I've seen some great ethnographic pieces involving less-than-legal activities so they're definitely possible (in fact I just read an anthropological article about common resources that had a whole section on squatting, DM me and I can send a PDF). The question is how to go about it, and how reasonable it would be to ethically make an ethnography about a specific community.

Like you said, there's some difficult ethics involved, the biggest one being the potential to put your ethnographic cooperators at risk of harm (legal or otherwise). We've all read those types of journalistic ethnographies where someone interviews a few individuals for an article titled something like, "This is what it's like to be a professional sex worker" or "A former drug addict talks about the world of drug deals", but creating a full-blown ethnography has a higher chance of disrupting a whole community than a conversation with a single individual.

There's a few key things to keep in mind when doing ethnographic work with illegal communities. The first and most important part of any ethnography is to include the people you're working with in all parts of the process. There's been a movement to make anthropological work in general a cooperative endeavor with groups of people rather than about groups of people.*

One of the best ways to ensure the safety of ethnographic participants is quite simply to ask them how to best maintain their safety. People who are involved in illicit activities or communities usually already know the best ways to stay safe, and they are almost certainly going to know better than an outside researcher. Maybe anonymity is enough, maybe it's not. Discuss these things with participants, ask them what would or would not be comfortable with being public knowledge. Let people know that not everything needs to be in the final product, and that they have a say in how it turns out.

Of course, as the researcher you also have to be aware of potential issues and ensure that they are talked about. Sometimes the opinion of what is safe from one individual does not reflect the opinions of the broader community, and it is important to take that into account. There's also a degree of using your own best judgement about what kind of information it is ethical to publish; the same is true for any scientific field.

Another important aspect is asking yourself is what kind of information you need to focus on a particular research question, and how that specific information might incriminate people. Let's use your topic of squatters as an example. You could probably include discussions of peoples' opinions on squatting and some of their lived realities without incriminating anyone. Someone sharing that they believe housing should be free, or how they ended up in their particular situation would probably be fine. Including which neighborhoods are the best for squatting would probably be dangerous unless that's an already widely known fact in that city. Maybe you can include most of someone's story, but have to exclude bits where they talk about visiting a specific nearby spot. There's lots of things that can be done to increase anonymity while still sharing meaningful information. Oftentimes, you won't know exactly how it will until you jump in.

I got a bit rambly and more incoherent towards the end there, but to summarize: I think ethnographies involving illegal activities are great and can be done ethically, keeping in mind that it might take more effort (and editing) to ensure the safety of all participants and their communities.

*A bit of probably unnecessary history of anthropology, but anthropology has a long and bad history of taking some of the worst parts of Western scientific thought and applying it to the study of people - particularly the faulty idea of "objectivity". The idea was that people can't view themselves objectively because they are too enmeshed in their own culture to be able to observe it, so we needed "unbiased" Western-trained scientists to be able to identify the true meanings behind a culture's idiosyncrasies. Obviously the idea that Western research academics are unbiased is utter bullshit, but the assumption that only an outsider can view a culture objectively has unfortunately stuck around. A huge problem that arises from this paternalistic mindset is the notion that academics and outside authorities know what is best for a community rather than listening to the people who are part of that community.

[fanficonly]

Wenclair- "Mine" -Chapter 18

Here it is the final chapter of this fanfic. Thank you to everyone who read, liked, commented and reblogged. This has been one of my favourite stories to write!

I am also considering writing a sequel in the future ...let me know what you think?😋

----

"Wednesday" Enid breathed out in response, bracing herself for her next words, her hand freely tightening around Wednesday's cold but comforting hand.

She wasn't ready to let go.

Not just yet.

She was going to hold onto this feeling, hold onto her hand and hold onto Wednesday for as long as the Gods,or Wednesday herself, permitted it.

...

"I think we need to re-evaluate the terms of our current relationship" Wednesday spoke rather formally in order to detach herself from her unpredictable emotions. As if her heart didn't emit a spark for the first time in years that allowed it to finally beat at a regular pace just at the sight of Enid.

"Are you trying to say you actually want to be like... Dating?" Enid didn't think her smile could get any wider but low and behold it did as the word "Dating" crossed her lips cautiously.

"I wouldn't use such trivial terminology but yes I suppose I am" Wednesday agreed with Enid. She wasn't going to pretend in her own head that she wasn't aware of how abnormally attracted to the werewolf she was. This moment had been building for an immeasurable amount of time and if it hadn't of been for the many MANY distractions and imminent death scenarios maybe this would have happened sooner.

"You're so formal" Enid chuckled a little, still nervous at the closeness that she continued to experience from Wednesday.

"The action I just participated in was far from formal Enid" Wednesday said bluntly again but her lips betrayed her with a twitch at the very recent memory.

"So that wasn't a one off?' Enid asked again. She knew the kiss happening was an absolute miracle and her anxiety was practically bouncing off the walls of her brain with the idea that it was all just some sick anomaly caused by the trauma Wednesday had suffered... But of course this wasn't overthinking.

"Do I look like the kind of person who does something as a 'one off' Enid" Wednesday explained her tone laced with offense.

"No of course not" Enid shook her head, biting her lip nervously.

"Unless you would prefer it to be but judging by-" Wednesday began. She wasn't great at reading people when it came to emotional ordeals so she was ready to accept whatever Enid decided, no matter how painful. Of course she barely got the words out before the blonde almost violently yelled

"NO" the harsh word flew from her lips loudly "Sorry I-" she composed herself before trying again "Yes I feel like my confession of my undying l-the- well feelings for you and the whole mate thing was enough to make that clear" she answered, happy with her words.

"Extremely so" Wednesday droned out, almost bitter that she felt so much around the werewolf. It threw her off balance, it changed her, it made her... More human. How disturbing she thought to herself.

"Sooo..." Enid elongated the word waiting for Wednesday to finish for her.

"So?" Wednesday asked. She was painfully aware that she should not be the one to take control of this situation due to lack of experience and her own uneasiness around the topic so she couldn't help the little voice inside her that irritated at Enid

"You liked the kiss?" She asked hopefully.

Wednesday thought for a moment but to Enid it felt like a year. She was not able to deny her feelings for much longer and she definitely cant hide it now that she had let Enid violate the sanctity of her mouth.

"Surpringly the amount of physical contact and intimacy was ..." She started, giving herself another moment to find the right word "Acceptable" she decided. But in reality the kiss was exceptional to the Addams Girl and she couldn't help but long for their lips to be connected again. This wasn't something that the supposedly unemotional girl could just admit to though. She was already looking at her lovely, safe yet conflicting comfort zone in the rear view mirror of her mind, what else did the universe need from her?

"Wow, acceptable, I don't usually get that response when I kiss someone" Enid scrunched her eyebrows as if she was trying to figure out whether or not she had heard Wednesday right.

"I apologise I'm not well versed in ... Relationship terminology... Or relationships" Wednesday admitted a whisper of vulnerability floating in the air as she turned her head away from Enid's eyes.

"It's okay" Enid supported her, understandably and let her continue on.

"I'm finding it hard to put into words the way you just made me feel Enid. The fact I felt something other than my usual feelings of disdain and misery is disconcerting as is." She admitted, fighting the urge to be close with Enid once again. She buried the voices in her head violently and ignored their distant cries for Enid's touch.

"I get it Wednesday that's just you" she shrugged. "I accept that" Enid smiled but Wednesday was still faced away from her "Look at me" she reached out, hesitating for a second before lightly turning Wednesday's face towards her again.

After her initial shock at her shameless tolerance of her new love interest's touch, she blinked.

"So acceptable was the correct word" she piped up, a sense of pride in her aura.

"I'd use a stronger word but sure" Enid giggled again and Wednesday couldn't help but admire her ability to spin things positively, her lip almost jerking into a smile.

"Well tell me how you feel and I will agree or disagree" Wednesday negotiated, hoping this would help her understand. It wasn't the most romantic way to profess her love for Enid but she just wasn't able to figure out what to say without completely ruining everything.

"Sure that's one way to communicate" she laughed again but it trailed away in the wind when she zoned in on the raven haired girl, still sat staring at her expectantly.

Wednesday didn't speak just waited patiently for her to continue, trying to decipher the second new emotion Enid had extracted from deep within her. She felt unsteady, unsure, unwell almost but after she heard Enid's voice again everything in her silently settled.

"It felt Incredible" she shamelessly admitted. "Wednesday you are beautiful and I can't describe how much I want to be near you and just for you to let me kiss you like that I can imagine was hard but-" Enid's romantic monologue was interrupted by Wednesday's sharp voice.

"It wasn't hard - I actually want to do it again." She professed. NERVOUS. She was nervous. Her eyes grew wide after finally realising that second emotion she felt was anxiety. A foreign and unnatural feeling to the Raven. No wonder she felt so unstable. But she pushed forward with plenty of resistance and continued when she saw Enid's eyes light up.

"It was oddly exhilarating Enid, I think..." she hesitated, letting out a slow and shaky breath "I have the same feelings as you" she tightened her lips as the words left her mouth "It is...in all honesty... it is difficult to describe." Her eyes grew with realisation "To extraordinary to describe" she mumbled the dictionary definition, breaking eye contact for only a moment. "Indescribable" she whispered as she looked back at Enid, she noticed the range of emotions that seemed to fill out her features and Wednesday had to clear her throat discreetly before continuing

"Although I do not possess the equivalent primal animalistic force pushing me towards you that you experience with me so" she observed, battling with her own self. Enid's mouth fell open slowly while Wednesday spoke, feeling elated that this was finally happening.

Enid finally chose between the array of emotions she was feeling and teared up as she spoke "Wednesday I think you just explained it far better than acceptable." She smiled widely letting her eyes leak uncontrollably. Wednesday didn't find their emotional intimacy hard. She found it exhilarating?! She made Wednesday feel like that?! She had the SAME FEELINGS FOR HER?! Enid's whole body vibrated with happiness as she tried to figure out what to do next.

"Okay" Wednesday agreed, absentmindedly raising her hand and brushing her thumb across Enid's cheek to remove the acidic substance leaking from her eyes. "So how exactly do we proceed?" She asked bringing her hand back towards her own face.

"I-Im not sure I know what you mean?" Enid's mind went blank as she watched Wednesday raise her thumb to her lips and taste the tears that had left her eyes. Grazing her thumb slowly down her lips and subtly licking her lower lip to taste the drop of emotion that had been filtered through Enid's tear duct. Enid bit her own lip in an attempt to compose the many MANY unholy thoughts that invaded her mind at the sight of this.

Wednesday smirked down at the place where water used to reside on her hand and whispered to herself "Happy Tears Taste different to those of the tortured and tormented" she declared and Enid choked at the sentence, clearing her throat and attempting to find the good in what she had just heard. Weirdly enough a lot of dark thoughts about what Wednesday could be referring to were released into her brain but they were immediately disintegrated by the usual sunshine that swallowed her insides.

"That's..." She slowed her words "Educational" she spoke "Very scientific of you" she chuckled nervously, somewhat relieved that she had been snapped out of her amorous state.

Wednesday had not even realised she had muttered those words and to someone like her she thought she had just openly spoke romantically towards Enid so soon after their first kiss. However, she also observed that to Enid that was probably (Definitely) a rather sadistic sentence she had constructed and let slip from her inner demonic thoughts.

"It both amazes me and concerns me that you can so easily defend my morbid thoughts ...maybe that is also something I find-" she paused again unable to say the word but also unable to find a tolerable equivalent. So she gave up "attractive about you" she finished and nodded her head approvingly.

"Thanks!" Enid shrugged not finding it odd at all but instead just enjoying the balance they had fallen into over the last few months. She commended herself in her own head for staying civil rather than letting her brain turn to mush at the idea of Wednesday finding her attractive and openly telling her this.

"So you are my lover now?" Wednesday asked politely. Enid bit the inside of her cheeks to combat the laugh that threatened to erupt from within.

"You're so old fashioned." Enid couldn't help but giggle as she threw her head back slightly. "Yes I am your girlfriend now as long as that is something you also want" her words slowed as she move towards Wednesday, her eyes glazed in hopeless optimism.

"Cara Mia, I think I have made it clear that this is definitely something I desire ...have I not? " she questioned, contemplating ways she could force the wolf to understand. Calling her by a term of endearment she thought was a good start because Enid absolutely swooned.

"Well you know-I just-you're Wednesday Addams and honestly I have thought about this exact scenario in my head A LOT and the outcome was never this positive I'm kind of like totally freaking out Wednesday" Enid gave her an awkward smile while her body betrayed her, shaky with anxiety.

Wednesday wanted to take a large 900 pound weight and crush the anxiety that Enid felt but as this was an impossible occurrence she decided to swallowed back her pride, the feeling burning like venom in her trachea.

"Well how about this" she took a deep breath in and placed her hand on Enid's cheek delicately.

"Enid Sinclair, I ask your permission to court you, do you accept?" She asked, with a charming and alluring tone this time, staring at the blonde with a glint of hopefulness in her eyes.

She tried. She tried so hard to remain serious but after snapping out of her dazed condition she caved.

"I can honestly say that was an incredibly unique way of telling me you would like me to be your girlfriend" she burst into a fit of giggles laying back on the bed and Wednesday looked down at Enid with a small but genuine smile on her lips.

Once she had calmed down she noticed Wednesday's smile and beamed, sitting up right.

"Omg! Omg! You're smiling again!" She grabbed at Wednesday's wrists excitedly.

Wednesday scolded herself but also allowed herself a little bit of leeway considering the beautifully dramatic and adorable response this had elicited from Enid. She looked down at the wolf's hands and as if by some conditioned response, Enid quickly retracted her hands and spoke

"Oh sorry" looking away from Wednesday worriedly.

Wednesday furrowed her brow at the reaction. She knew why it had happened but accepting everything she felt for Enid had caused her to suddenly become hostile. She opened her mouth to scold the blonde but stopped and permitted herself a moment to think.

After what felt like an eternity Wednesday finally broke the silence causing Enid to snap her head back towards her.

"Be mine" she said quietly "Just ... Be mine Enid Sinclair and I will be yours" she pushed past all of her natural impulses and instead grabbed Enid's hands softly and pulled them back into her grasp. There was no need for Enid to feel like she couldn't touch Wednesday anymore surely.

Enid moved forward, her wolf's intrusive voice ringing in her ears. She wanted Wednesday, needed her. Needed to feel her lips again and be close to her once more. So she closed her eyes and captured the seer's lips with hers , softly kissing her again.

She smiled into the kiss, her hand creeping its way up the Seer's arm towards her shoulder, the other still tightly interlaced with Wednesday's hands

As she pulled back a low, possessive growl escaped her own lips through her fangs, and she noticed Wednesday's positive reaction to this. She moved her now clawed hand to the back of Wednesday's neck as she rested her forehead onto hers.

"Mine" she growled before settling into Wednesdays arms in a desperate hug, still awaiting her inevitable dream to end and for her to wake up in the woods somewhere unaware she had been dreaming.

But that didn't happen.

This was real.

Wednesday Addams was her mate and she accepted Enid Sinclair as hers.

"Yours" Wednesday whispered into the crook of Enid's neck, wrapping her arms securely around the werewolf, in an attempt to infuse their bodies together forever.