#the reference it gets in long lost also makes me feral

[ladyeerie]

Listening to “Way Out There” makes me want to stick my head under water and scream until I pass out. (affectionately)

[spaceorphan18]

X-Men Fic (Rogue/Gambit) : Toys

A/N: Yes, this was inspired by that clip that's been going around of Gambit's VA for XM97 playing with action figures. I cannot believe this is what I'm writing for my first real fic for this fandom. Dear lord, forgive me for the shenanigans... also, unbeta'd. I just wanted to get it out into the world and be done with it.

I'll post this tomorrow on Ao3

Rated: T for suggestiveness

Summary: Rogue catches Remy playing with toy action figures of the X-Men. Shenanigans. Set in the 616 comic verse, but some fun meta-y references to XM97

****

Toys

Upon arriving home, Rogue comes in through the open kitchen window because why bother with stairs when you can fly? It’s been a long day, a long week, a long life… All she wants to do is curl up on the couch with the cats and a trashy book and hopefully Remy’s home so she can get a back massage.  Hell, forget the book, she’ll gamble for the massage first.  Save the trashy for later.  

She grins, thinking about her husband’s warm hands on her skin.  

Remy is, indeed, home; standing at the kitchen island, his back turned towards the window, so engrossed in what he’s doing that he doesn’t hear her come in.  And what he’s doing takes her by surprise.  

The kitchen counter is covered in half open boxes, plastic containers, cardboard, and little zip ties.  There are a good, half-dozen or so action figures all lined up in a semicircle; each one of them a well detailed, classically designed replica of, well… the X-Men.  Oh, dear god, what did she walk into? 

“I’ll take ya down in one slice, bub,” Remy says, holding the Wolverine figurine in one hand, his voice low as he attempts Logan’s gruff voice.  Remy LeBeau is good at a lot of things, Rogue would be first to give you a list, but doing impressions is not one of them.  She bites her lip, fascinated to see how this plays out.  Remy grabs the Magento figurine as his voice shifts to imitate Erik.  “You incels!” Remy screams; loud, exaggerated, and carefully enunciated.  “How dare you try to take down me; the questionably dressed, ego too big for my helmet, Master of Magnetism?” 

Rogue puts a hand up to her lips, holding back an amused snort.  Oh, Remy… 

Remy loses the impression as he lunges the Wolverine figurine at the Magneto one.  The Magneto one floats away.  “You fools! Don’ you remember I control the metal?”  Shaking the Wolverine figurine violently, Remy lets out a feral scream and the figure is flung to the side, landing with a clatter in the sink.  

Magneto is discarded for a moment as Remy picks up the Scott and Jean figurines.  Scott has his hand to his visor while Jean has both her hands on the sides of her head.  “Jean! I seem to have made a tactical error,” Remy cries in Scott’s no-nonsense voice.  His voice then slides higher as he mimics Jean.  “Scott, my telepathy.  It out o’ whack!  Oh, Scott!... Jean!… SCOTT!.... JEAN!!”

Rogue is dying inside.  She holds herself tightly, trying as hard as she can not to burst out laughing.  

Scott and Jean are shuffled into one hand as Remy picks up the Magneto figurine again.  “Enough of this!” Remy says, back in the Magneto voice.  He then lets out another dramatic scream as he tosses the Scott and Jean figurines onto the pile of boxes, scaring Oliver, who had been inspecting one of the twist ties.  

He picks up the Storm figurine next, raising her arms to the ceiling.  “An’ now you deal with Stormy, who will smite you with her lightning blasts.” He jolts the Storm hands into Magneto, making little sound effect lightning blasts as he does so.  “Fool, I am impervious to lightning…  How dat possible? Lightning an’ magnetism are not the same thing!... I can control static electricity!... Dat…still don’ make any sense!... Begone, weather witch!”  

Rogue has tears in her eyes. She’s biting her lip so hard, it’s beginning to hurt.  Thankfully, Remy is so lost in his make believe world that he can’t hear her snickering.  

The Storm figurine is placed gently face down on the counter as Remy picks up the Gambit figurine.  Rogue’s eyes grow wide, intensely waiting to see how this will play out… 

“Ohh, you goin’ down now, mon ami,” Remy’s voice grows low and serious.  He starts making explosion sound effects, as if the Gambit figurine is throwing little playing cards at the Magneto one.  Remy then throws his head back in a villainous laugh as he goes back to the Magneto voice.  “You seriously think a few mild explosions could ever touch me?”  

Remy stops, and grins that cocky, beautiful grin of his.  “Non, but it enough to keep you distracted.”  He starts turning the Magneto figurine around, as if it’s confused.  “See, I always gotta ace up my sleeve.”  

In a quick second, he drops the Gambit figurine, and grabs the Rogue one.  Her arm is out, one leg up, poised to fly.  Remy slams the fist of the Rogue figurine into the Magneto one’s head.  “Howdy, sugah.” 

Rogue tilts her head, amused.  Remy’s imitation of her own voice is so comically off, and yet incredibly endearing.  

“How ‘bout you leave my family alone!” The Rogue figurine crashes into the Magneto one again.  This time, Remy charges the Magneto figurine, causing it to glow purple.  He tosses the charged Magneto figurine up, letting it explode in mid-air with a bang.  The charred remains drop to the counter with a clang before it bounces into the trash next to the counter.  

Remy then picks up the Gambit figurine and brings it in close to the Rogue one.  “Anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are when you’re punching people, chere?...Why don’t you shut up and kiss me, Remy…” Remy starts clicking the faces of the two figurines together, making little kiss-y noises and ‘mwa’ sounds as the action figures ‘make out’.  

Rogue grins wildly, expecting nothing less.  She crosses her arms across her chest, casually walking forward to let her presence be known. “Whatcha doing, sugah?” 

Remy gives a startled jump, the figurines dropping out of his hand with a clatter.  He’s not the least bit sorry he’s been caught, however, a devilish grin quickly sliding onto his lips.  “Jus’ havin’ a bit of fun testing some of these toys that show sent us.”  Rogue picks the destroyed Magneto figurine out of the trash.  “Some of dem defective,” he says slyly. 

“Defective huh?” She drops the figurine unceremoniously back into the trash and comes in close, wrapping her arms around his neck.  She knows the show is a sore spot, no matter how much free merch they’ve gotten from it lately.   “You still salty about all that?”

He lets out a grumble, but still wraps himself around her, just the way she likes.  “Don’ act like you wouldn’t be, too, if they killed you off like dat.   Middle of the first season, too.  What’d I do to deserve dat?” 

“They just knew you were the best one.” She runs her fingers through his hair.  “Who else gonna go out in a fiery blaze of heroism like that?” 

He smirks, though she can still see a hint of sadness in his eyes.  “It was pretty epic, non?” 

“The best…”  She draws him in for a kiss, sweet and gentle and comforting.  “Forget that show, Remy.  That ain’t our life.  This is.” She kisses him again, a little bit harder, grounding herself in his embrace.  He had tortured himself wanting to keep watching that show, but she couldn’t.  She wouldn’t.  She didn’t want to imagine herself going down a path she would never recover from.  “Besides…” she says, trying to keep it light.  “I’m sure season two will have me pulling your pretty ass back from the dead one way or the other.  And if it doesn’t, you best bet I’ll get those writers fired and write it myself.”  

“I ever tell you how sexy you are when pulling me back from the dead?” 

“Shut up and kiss me, Remy.”  He does and they do.  Forget the massage tonight, they’re going straight to the trashy.  She’s hungry to feel him everywhere tonight.  

They break apart once again, breathing heavily as Rogue leans her forehead against his.  “Hey, Remy?” 

“Oui?” 

“Why don’t we leave this mess for later and go play with some of the toys we’ve already got.”

He laughs into another kiss.  “You always have de best ideas, chere…” 

****

Later… 

In the stillness of the night, long after Remy’s fallen asleep, Rogue gets up for a glass of water.  

The kitchen is how they left it hours ago, a mess of trash and action figures scattered around the room.  The cats had gotten into some of it.  Poor Scott had fallen to the ground.  She picks him up, placing him next to Jean, giving him a little pat as she does so.  

She wants to ignore the others.  Wants to ignore the strange sensation it is to have your likeness in toy form.  Still, she’s drawn to the little action figure her. She picks it up, inspecting it.  It’s her old green and yellow uniform, one she hasn’t worn in years. She doesn’t even know where it is, probably having been trashed in some long ago fight.  Unsurprisingly, the boobs are a little too big, the waist a little too small, and the hair a bit ridiculous.  But it’s oddly still her.  A little version her.  

She looks down to the Gambit figurine and smiles.  The trench coat, the staff, the ridiculously abbed pink breast plate.  The cocky little grin.  They got his likeness perfectly.  And yet it doesn’t even hold a candle to the real thing.  

“Love ya, Remy,” she says softly, as she takes the Rogue figurine and gives the Gambit figurine a kiss with it.  She laughs at her own silliness, but still takes a moment to place the figurines together, resting against each other, as they should be.  

She grabs her water and turns off the light and heads back to the bedroom, where she’ll soon curl up against her husband and fall asleep.  

[eudaimonia83]

Everyone who was requesting Feral Elain, here you go. 😅 Don’t judge me too harshly on this, bc it’s an upcoming chapter of a long-form fic and hasn’t undergone any real editing. There are also some references that might be unclear, as this chapter is a ways down the line. But if you have read my fic The Gift (on AO3) you have most of the background info.

Basic details: Lucien has just escaped from being held prisoner under the Hewn City with his powers suppressed. He was jailed for allowing Elain to escape…which she has just discovered. And she is, naturally, deeply unhappy about this. 😈

Tag as requested: @lorcandidlucienwill @mr-agent-mulder

——————————

His wrists. What had happened to his wrists?

She stared numbly at the puckered, darkened skin that bracketed his hands, scabbing over as his healing finally began to return…his tender, beautiful hands that touched her with such gentleness, such affection…

“What is that?” She couldn’t keep a tremor out of her voice. Steady, steady. Be calm. She knew this feeling now; the sick coiling in her veins, around her heart, rustling through her brain.

He glanced down, tearing his eyes from her face with a physical wrench. “It’s only a scar. I’ve got plenty of them, remember?” He turned his hands over and squeezed hers, so gently, so kindly.

A scar. But from what…?

“What kind of scar?” Her voice only barely escaped past the lump in her throat; she could barely hear it over this singing, this thrumming in her blood. It was hot and deadly cold. The strength of anger, with the ice of…revenge. Leaves curled around her ears, tendrils winding through her hair.

He looked up at her again. “Please, Blossom. Don’t be angry with me. I tried to get away, to get back to you. But I couldn’t.”

He did not understand, how did he not understand? He thought she was angry with him…

She swallowed hard, then brought one of his hands up to her face and dragged her lips over his wrist, trying to mimic the gentleness he’d shown her that night, that sweet night that was both their first and last, before he’d sent her away and the long hand of darkness had reached out to grasp him and hold him…hold him…

The True Sight bubbled up inside her like a hot spring, filling her eyes and tearing her heart to pieces. Lucien, her Lucien, limp on the stone floor of a cell, drenched in a sticky, purulent substance. No light to see by. No warmth to envelop him. No comfort, from her or anyone else. Lost in the cold, and the dark. Why did he not summon his fire, that spirit that breathed inside him like coals, that had kept him alive and protected his kind heart through so much before this? She didn’t know if she said it aloud, but she screamed to that limp body on the floor, stay alive. Stay alive, no matter what occurs. Bring your flame to bear, and I will avenge you, I swear it…

But he just lay there, breaths shallow and broken, his hands…his wrists…bound to the wall…

She leapt up, the vision melting like smoke, only to see his wide eyes before her.

“They bound you?” Her voice did not sound like hers. What writhed underneath it?

He nodded, pushing himself up on the cot to a sitting position. “I knew they would. It was only a matter of how.”

“How, then?” She squeezed her fist at her side. The earth would fill their mouths and choke their cries, drag them into its depths and bind their very skeletons to the rocks that made its own bones…

He hung his head. “I was shackled, with Hybernian stone, I think. They put faebane on me too, before the chains. Not as I knew it, either — a sort of paste. Perhaps it concentrates its effects that way. I only recognized its scent.”

“So you couldn’t break out.” Or use his fire to stay warm.

“I was more valuable as their prisoner,” he said, his voice as hollow as a pebble skittering down into a well. “They did not want to kill me. If they did, they would have done it long ago, before even making me their emissary. They were more interested in what I could tell them. Or do for them. Or who I could bring them. They wanted you most of all.” He smiled. “I knew that. So it was worth it to have you escape somewhere I didn’t know, so no matter what they did to me, you were out of their reach.”

She nodded, slow and steady. Coiling like a fist within her, the grinding of the rocks that silted into soil and reached towards the sun with vines and leaves and trees.

Find them. Punish them.

She went to the window, where the sun had grown bright as they spoke. It spilled over her. She felt her skin tingle, the warmth of the sun stoking the fire inside her.

“It will heal,” he said, husky and sad. “It will scar, but it will heal eventually.”

She had to get out, before this white-hot anger striated with cold revenge burst out of her and harmed him, he who she so wished to protect it was like shielding her own heart. She turned back to him and knelt, swiftly, next to the cot. He wound his hand into her hair, cupping her cheek, her jaw. She felt the strands of her hair catch against the grit of the scab on his wrist. Her heart raced, stuttering with affection and sorrow and the dark pulse of vengeance.

“It will heal,” he repeated. “I will heal.”

“You can only heal if you’ve been hurt,” she murmured. “And that’s what I don’t want to happen any more.”

He smiled, and kissed her hairline, so softly that she ached with it, in the pit of her belly and the cleft beneath her ribs that held her heart, squeezing it between her lungs with each agonizing breath.

She helped him to lie back, tucking the sheepskin over him, and with a wave of her hand, leaves clustered over the window to filter the sunlight. It would be gentle, would carry the scent of jasmine to soothe him as he slept. As his skin knit back together.

Pay. They would pay, and pay again, and beg forgiveness.

She would make sure of it.

———————————

He had fallen asleep at last, heat beating out of him as the fever raged. He had spoken, fretful and miserable, in his sleep, wept with pleas of stop, take me, kill me instead and Tam, help me Tam, I can’t see, it hurts. She could do nothing but lay a cool cloth on his brow. She dared not touch him at those times; knew that if she did, she would be immersed in his fever dreams, or worse, steal his past from him with her imperfect visions of what had happened. Better to let him awaken, to ask him later and let him tell her himself. Her sister might not know the difference, would sweep in with daemati might and root around with dirty fingers in a mind that wasn’t her own, but she would not. She would be different.

Her sister.

Feyre was still here. As soon as it occurred to her, the truth of it squeezed her heart with cold tendrils.

She stood up, skirts whispering, and slipped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her so softly that the latch didn’t even click.

The hallway yawned into shadow ahead of her. It was twilight, just after the dinner hour, and she knew where Feyre would be: eating with Helion and the attachés, perhaps in the Solarium, or the conservatory. Her steps matched the pace of her heart as she sped along the white marble floor, gleaming with gold and rosy specks of quartz. She did not see the darkness. It was hard to appreciate it when her vision was red at the edges and star-bright with rage.

The long night is ending. They will wake from the dream and find it rebuilt.

Perhaps it was time for a wake-up call, then.

She felt the stones begin to tremble beneath her as she walked, a low rumble from deep in the earth. She cast her eyes down and saw the curls of vines swimming around her arms, tangling in eager threads, tiny leaves unfurling, stained black with the ash of her anger.

She heard the dinner conversation as a merry buzz before she even saw the spill of light onto the floor…and by that time, there was a dull roar in her ears, her arms were corded with thorns and leaves, and death was coming to all, to all who had failed him and starved him and imprisoned him. She was vengeance, and he was her mate, and they were going to pay.

She burst into the lamplight like the heat from an opened oven door. All the faces turned to her, smiles draining from their lips like waves receding on the beach.

There was barely a moment to register the screams that bounced off the walls before the table heaved and cracked as six inch thorns spiked through it from beneath. Half of it sagged down; the other half toppled with a deafening crash, and through the middle burst the vines, reaching up to seize the chandelier and twist, pulling it from the ceiling with a screech of metal and timber. The candles sputtered against the ruined food. Her eyes were on her sister, dressed in glimmering silver and blue, eyes wide with horror and…what was that, underneath the surprise? Could it be fear?

Good, Elain thought with satisfaction as she leapt over the rubble, her vines sweeping everything away into chaos, coming up behind her in massive gnarled hands scaled with bark and stippled with thorns. She regarded Feyre for a moment. As her sister’s eyes narrowed and went dark, and the daemati talons scratched at her mind, she swung one of her arms in a massive arc. The vines followed it in a deadly sweep, choking with the scent of petrichor and leaves. Feyre was thrown against the wall of the room in one movement, immobilized, her head dragged backward as the vines grasped her hair, her pale throat exposed, arms akimbo and sealed to the wall. Elain let out a wild cry and leapt forward, her fingers closing around her sister’s neck and squeezing with all her strength.

Feyre struggled in silence, her air cut off — but then went deadly still. Her face flushed scarlet. The vines had pushed thorns against both the arteries in her neck, had pierced the skin under her left breast. If she moved it would stab her. Elain hissed into her face, aware that she looked completely unhinged, “You bound him.”

Feyre shook her head, as much as she was able. Elain released her throat and slapped her with all her strength across the face. “You drenched him in faebane and bound him with stone, and what, you thought I wouldn’t find out? That I wouldn’t strip the skin off your bones?” She matched word to deed, scoring her nails along Feyre’s arm.

Tears streamed from Feyre’s eyes and scratches bloomed across her cheek, carved there by the thorns that had turned Elain’s fingers into claws. “I didn’t,” she rasped. “I didn’t do that to him.”

A second slap cracked across her face and this time the outline of Elain’s hand remained, bright red. “Your demon mate, then. He would say the same, wouldn’t he, if he was here? I didn’t do it, I knew nothing of it. Bullshit.” The curse tasted sour in her mouth, and she spat into the tangle of vines that had immobilized the other dinner guests into helpless writhing heaps on the floor. Only Helion was still upright, wrestling against the grip of the leaves that had encircled his legs and arms. She let him be. Her quarrel was not with him. “The pair of you are the same, always the same. Using him —using us — for your own —“ the vines tightened around Feyre’s wrists and ankles and wrenched a scream from between her clenched teeth “—wretched—“ the thorn pushed against the bottom of her chin “—ends. There were others in that prison. How many more did you do this to, besides him? Besides my mate?” Red spots swam in her vision. She wanted to kill her. “You turned a blind eye.”

“You turned a blind eye to me…” gasped Feyre, then let out a groan of frustration as the thorn pushed harder against her chin, forcing her jaw closed.

“Talk about yourself for one more moment and you’ll never talk again,” Elain whispered into her sister’s ear. A tremor went through Feyre, and she was still. Elain savored the victory for a moment. It was terrifying, nauseating to be this angry…it made her feel like an animal. It was this part of being Fae that had called to her like a dark song, that coursed through her veins like electricity, like the storms she’d watched batter the Eastern Channel: but to a small part of her, caught in the swirl of adrenaline and anger, it felt right. To defend Lucien when he couldn’t defend himself. When he was sick and raving with fever, when her sister’s court had painted him with poison and thrown him in prison, to suffer in darkness.

Human Elain would not have done this.

But she was Human Elain no longer.

Why be a girl, when you could be a terror? the voice of the void whispered to her.

So she seized her sister‘s head in both her hands, and let the True Sight boil into them both, and felt Feyre scream and scream as she showed her everything she had ever feared.

Mother of mercy, how good it felt to punish.

[i3utterflyeffect]

(´▽`ʃƪ) c ould you please summarize the main plot points of some of your recent aus? (for example, im really digging selkie and loc, but i missed what exactly ended up happening with cho and dark in the former (both when they came to be and recently), & the entire inciting idea/event of the latter (and probably other deets i have no idea i missed))

how many are covered and at what length is up to u

i love perusing the asks but i get easily lost <3 tysm

augh alright!! okay so!

Loss of Control AU

Basically, this is post-showdown, but Dark did survive! It takes place right around the same time that the episode The Box does in canon!!!

Chosen and SC are captured, but so is Dark! Victim drains Dark's powers to take them for themself but it goes very very wrong and Victim loses all control, basically going into a feral state where they are constantly in fight/flight, which is very bad when you have brand new powers you can't control :(

Victim immediately is in a lot of pain, and basically wrecks a ton of Rocket Corp. The mercs are kind of at a loss as to what to do since Victim destroyed a lot of their weapons in the initial panic, and end up going to Chosen, because how the fuck else are you supposed to stop a superpowered stick on a rampage? c!alan didn't have any better ideas and without their tools the mercs aren't really in a much better situation

Chosen ends up getting released alongside SC, and finds out what happened to Dark, so they end up kind of freaking out. They can't exactly leave Dark here, because they ABSOLUTELY don't trust the Mercs to not just turn around and hold Dark hostage to get the upper hand again, and if Dark found out they would absolutely try to pursue Victim and Chosen. so they very reluctantly go with their best idea-- keep Dark safe by trapping them on the desktop!

admittedly i like to imagine either stick!alan or normal cursor alan depending on whatever's more fun for the situation, so that's not really set in stone at all lol

but that's basically the whole deal what's going on with dark and chosen!

Selkie Sticks AU

basically i have no idea how Alan becomes a selkie but the summary of the most important stuff is here!!!!

Dark does survive in this AU and gets redeemed as I've recently decided. :]

selkie!SC basically starts out as a toddler just because i think it's fun! Alan adopts the rest of the CG when they're around 4! (not as in how long they've existed but their age lol)

selkie!chosen is very much protective of their younger siblings, and kind of ends up bonding with alan a lot because they help take care of SC and the tiny CG a lot!

the CG have 'coats' as well, but they aren't selkies! alan actually made the little 'coats' for them as a gift. they're not real coats, but Alan figured that they'd want something to match! he was very much correct and the CG love their false coats a lot

also i sometimes talk about an AU where selkie!alan is still stuck as a cursor while taking care of SC! that's not a part of the main AU i just think it's so so funny to imagine

i think that's about all the tidbits i have that aren't covered tho!!

Stick!Noogai

i'm just including this one bc it's a favorite of mine hehe.

basically, during AVA 1, Alan somehow gets stuck in the computer! i'll be referring to him as Noogai from here on bc that's his name in the au :]

anyway, when he gets stuck, Victim terrorizes him for a while, before Noogai makes Chosen! in this AU Chosen is actually the one with mission code, but it just sums up to 'please protect me i am SO SCARED'! this goes very badly while it's still in strong effect but Chosen does their best to deal with it bc Noogai isn't sure how to change it without potentially hurting them :(

Victim kind of ends up not wanting to torment him in the end because he's kind of. too pathetic?? he's sick from the shift from human to stick, he's terrified, and he doesn't know how to protect himself at all, and it's really no fun at all to scare him because he just has a panic attack. honestly Vic is kind of worried about him after a certain point because he responds so poorly to becoming a stick, both physically and mentally.

eventually the two end up in a sort of begrudging understanding, and Vic ends up (reluctantly) helping Chosen take care of him.

I'm kind of not sure where Dark shows up, but let's just say they show up here for simplicity! Noogai draws them as a friend for both him and Chosen! unfortunately Chosen's first reaction to seeing an unfamiliar stick on the PC is to punch them. after that initial road-bump though things are pretty much fine!

they eventually find their way into the outernet and end up moving there, partially because Noogai is so sick of the PC and also because it's very hard to take care of someone who's used to being a human on a computer. Noogai ofc brings the pencil and pen.

he ends up kind of having a semblance of normality after moving to the outernet, and things are pretty much fine up until the fair where Gold dies in canon!

Noogai actually ends up going in before Gold and getting caught in the crash, but Chosen saves him, leaving him with scarring and a crippling fear of minecraft, but him and Gold do end up becoming friends! They're both not exactly the most social people among most sticks, and they're both kind of nerds, so they end up getting along really well and doing a lot of stupid kid stuff together!

SC ends up being created after Noogai tries to show the pencil to Gold, for no reason other than he was dumb and the first thing he drew was....... a stick. because of course it was.

Noogai is basically the little sibling of most of the hollowheads though, and it's mostly just a silly au!! Victim does end up having a soft spot for him deep down eventually, but they'd never tell him that because he'd absolutely exploit it. and also the mortifying ordeal of being perceived. mostly the second one. they view him as their little brother though, even if they sometimes think he's a little brat :]

also i draw the noogai!sticks with faces because noogai drew faces onto them!! he thought it'd make Vic a little less scary and they were nice enough to tolerate it

anyway!! hope that helps :]

[rabbitblackx]

hai, i have dbd 'reaction' ideas but if you don't want to do them it's ok!

trickster, huntress, ghostface

1. killer!witch!s/o who's new skin is basicly(?) a emily ( corpsebride ) cosplay. maybe they have a victor skin.

2. killer!s/o has "adopted" a survivor/other killer as their child.

3. s/o who has an endless stomach and could eat 25/8.

4. s/o who follows them around like a lost puppy or the otherway

have a good day! don't forget to hydrate or eat!

Hiiii! As it turns out, I used all of em! I’ve got them all here for u rn! Hope u don’t mind I added a few of my own tweaks to it. And so sorry this took so long. Tumblr recently shadow banned me cuz its engine mistook me for a bot or something idk its a long story lmao. But I’m back now so here ya go! Ps hope u have a great day too! Make sure u drink water and eat too or I’ll be cranky😠🥰💖

How DBD killers would react to…

Includes: Huntress, Ghost Face and Trickster

Killer!Witch!Reader wearing a wedding dress, while they wear a tuxedo

Huntress

Super smitten and flustered

The Huntress thought you looked absolutely stunning in that dress. And for her to be wearing a matching tux! It was like you two were married or something!

She exclusively referred to you as her ‘spouse’, while following you around like a lovesick puppy. The Huntress also showered you in endless compliments about how cute and pretty you looked to her. She could’ve just pounced on you when you came back to her cabin after a successful trial, the white dress smothered with the blood of your victims

Anna felt so strong and important when she was with you while wearing the tuxedo. She thought you two were perfect together like this. She even offered to dance under the pale moonlight, blood shimmering across your beautiful outfits. You set the mood with your powers, causing glittery mist to shimmer through the fog. As Anna grabbed your waist and dipped you, she couldn’t help but be lost in your glowing eyes

Ghost Face

Very sly and cocky

The Ghost glided his gloved hands down your waist, stroking across white lace and ruffles. Though he wore a tuxedo to match your dress, he still had a hood and mask on. But the mask had now been discarded to the floor, his sunken face now centimetres from yours

“We look good together.” Danny grinned

You would often giggle at him, playfully casting a small spells on him. He would act annoyed when you did so, but he secretly loved it.

Went absolutely feral when he saw you covered in blood after a trial. Your eyes glowed beautifully as you flicked away small specks of flesh from your wedding dress. If you caught him staring from behind his mask, you lured him over with your powers. Danny didn’t fight your magic for a second. In fact, he embraced it. He let you drag him over, and threw his arms around your waist. His ghostly mask was illuminated in the dark by your glowing eyes as you leaned in

Trickster

Absolutely obsessed!

Went on and on about how hot you both looked! The Trickster was quite the gentleman when he wanted to be though. He took your hand, wary of getting zapped or lit or whatever came from your powers and twirled you under the full moon. The sound of your laughter was so hypnotising to him

With the both of you dressed as a bride and groom, it gave Ji-Woon a couple of ideas. He found himself imagining what kind of wedding the two of you would have

Peppered you in kisses at the sight of you drenched in fresh blood. The Trickster loved to twirl you around in his arms, your hands resting against the chest of his tux. He felt so special when you would comment on how handsome he looked in it. It just sounded so personal coming from you

“You’re so beautiful, babe.” Ji-Woon smiled

You lovingly straightened his bowtie, before closing your glowing eyes and diving in for a kiss

Killer!Reader that has ‘adopted’ Susie

Huntress

On board 100%!

The Huntress adored Susie the moment you brought her back from Ormond. You sometimes went over there to hang with the Legion in between trials. With Susie being younger, you took her under your wing. She really looked up to you and admired your techniques. The Legion girl also got a real kick from being around the Huntress more often

Anna quickly became like a mother to Susie. She loved taking care of her, especially with you by her side. It made her feel all fuzzy inside. It was like you were a real family. The mere thought brought a tear to her eye

It made her melt to see you act all fatherly/motherly towards Susie. You comforted the girl after bad trials, and then even give her some tips! It made the Huntress one proud mama and wife

Ghost Face

“Can we keep her? Please?”

You gave the Ghost Face your best puppy dog eyes as you hugged Susie against you. It was quite hard for you to do those eyes since they were usually filled with murder and rage, but you thought it was actually kind of working. Susie snuggled against you, big blue eyes twinkling Danny’s way. Speaking of, he folded his arms and let out a long sigh from behind his mask

“Fine.”

Actually really liked Susie. You two truely were like her parents. You and Danny would blab on to her about tricks and hacks on how to get the survivor’s quicker. He even cleaned off her knife for her or sharpen it

The Ghost Face adored seeing you all caring and nurturing with the Legion girl. It made him feel like he wouldn’t mind having a baby with you someday…

Trickster

The Trickster was very jealous and dismissive of Susie at first. He didn’t like you giving her all this attention instead of him. But he eventually came around and bonded with her, over things like hairdye or pop music

The Trickster still very much preferred you spending time with him than Susie. He almost felt like a third wheel when you and the girl were together. And you of all people should’ve known that that was way beneath him. So when Susie had to go on trial, he got overly clingy with you

Ji-Woon wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and nuzzled into your shoulder. You had just said your goodbyes to Susie, and he was now all over you

“What’s up, Ji-Woon?” You smirked

“I’m still your favourite, right? You love me the most?” The Trickster asked hopefully

You relaxed against his embrace and let out a chuckle. You brought a hand up to run through his purple hair

“Yes, dear. You’re my favourite. I love you the most.”

Reader that could eat nonstop

Huntress

The Huntress was quite impressed with your appetite. She also loved it! It meant you were healthy and strong for her. All she ever wanted was for you to be that way. She needed you with her for a very long time

Anna cooked for you three times a day. She made sure to keep you well fed and satisfied! Although, that was rather hard to do. She was astonished how you ravaged a whole hearty meal, then immediately asked for seconds after! Sometimes the Huntress had to cook you up thirds. But she didn’t mind. Anything for her baby bear!

Ghost Face

The Ghost Face didn’t really know what to make of your gluttony at first. You were always hungry, always snacking. You called it the munchies, and he thought that was quite cute

Danny soon thought of your insatiable appetite to be endearing. It was what made you different and stand out from all the others he had been with. He loved that; someone that wasn’t like the rest. It was made them not killable

In other words, the Ghost Face had no intention of you ever being his victim. He also asked the Entity for little treats and sweets, so he could carry them around and give them to you during trial. He had many Polaroids of you nibbling on said food. You were like a cute little bunny to him

Trickster

“Nobody should eat before 4pm.”

The Trickster was always on strict diets to maintain his toned body. It was rare that you ever saw him eat. So for him to see how you shovelled down plate after plate of food, he was repulsed

Or at least, acted like it

The Trickster was actually just jealous. He missed the good ol’ days before K-pop. He could eat all he wanted, much like how you did. He always wished he had your metabolism

If you two were together for awhile, he soon opened up and ate around you. You always offered him some of your food, as you were usually snacking on something. It made Ji-Woon appreciate you and your time spent together even more

Reader that always follows them around

Huntress

The Huntress thought you were so adorable. She cooed at you, saying how you reminded her of a cute little puppy. She even went above and beyond and made you a dog mask! It was your prized possession

Anna didn’t mind at all if you tagged behind her during trials. Sometimes she forgot you were even there. But she also grew protective when you strayed away, or wasn’t close enough

The Huntress held your hand most of the time. She liked having you by her side as she hunted. It made her feel secure and needed

Ghost Face

The Ghost Face also thought it was quite cute how you trailed after him everywhere. He liked the company. He chattered on with you for hours endless when the Entity let him

He was really impressed with how stealthy you had become. Every time the Ghost Face looked over his shoulder, there you were. It was ironic, wasn’t it? When you first met, it was the exact opposite

It was actually pretty arousing for Danny.😦 The way you mimicked him and his behaviour. When he shamelessly told you that, your face screwed up and you swatted at him

“If you think I’m so gross, then why are you still following me around?” He chuckled, making you blush

Trickster

Nothing he wasn’t used to. You were just another groupie. Although, way more tolerable. Not that he’d ever tell you that

“If I were you, I’d be obsessed with me too.”

The Trickster never stopped flirting with or teasing you. None of it fazed you though, and you carried on following him. This surprised him. Like, why weren’t you starstruck?

Ji-Woon soon concluded it was because you were different. You were the only person he liked, and thought worthy of his time.

His teasing may not of affected you, but, boy, did yours do things to him

Don’t be surprised if the Trickster ends up following you around instead

[stoat-party]

Evaluating Which Details Pose Continuity Issues (yeah, it’s long, sorry)

I’m being relentlessly annoyed by (some) people mad at the show and by (some) people mad at people mad at the show, so let’s clear up where the issues are and aren’t so we’re not just talking over each other here.

Destroying the Strip

Obviously not a retcon. Retcons refer to previously-established events. Some people might have their own problems with it (I definitely saw it cited as evidence of a coordinated attack on New Vegas), but it presents no continuity problems.

2. What exactly is a vial?

I don’t think this changed ghoul lore. They can still go 200+ years without turning, or they can start turning as soon as they get ghoulified. There’s just a new plot element where they can stave off the effects of going feral for awhile if they take this mysterious drug - without the drug, the rules are still the same. The story was NOT clear on this, and it confused me, but if ghouls need drugs to stay sane, Oswald, Dean, Billy, etc. could not exist even if there’s a massive industry in vials of goop that’s never been mentioned before.

3. It took Vault-Tec decades to build all the vaults.

This is something I worried about because there couldn’t have been much time between the boardroom scene and the bombs falling (Janey doesn't age). But I think it makes sense if you assume the vaults were already built and they filled them with experiments afterward. It does leave the problem that some vaults were unfinished but Vault-Tec also dropped the bombs - why would they do that before finishing their vaults? It’s possible that they planned to drop them but got beat to the punch, or any number of other explanations. Clear retcon but not a huge plot hole.

4. House is worse than Caesar all of a sudden?

This one’s a private gripe of mine because House and Sinclair were not originally written to be Actual Sadists Who Hate Humanity. There’s also House’s mastermind prepper attitude toward the apocalypse, which doesn’t indicate that he had a hand in orchestrating it. While the change doesn’t conflict with the text as far as I know, it really changes the flavor of the game, but not as much as:

5. The Fall of Shady Sands

Let’s say that this happened after the first battle of Hoover Dam, so no continuity issues with their ability to win that. (That’s probably why they set it in 2277, so the NCR would have almost four years to recover before NV. As if Caesar wouldn’t have taken half of their land by then, even with his armies crushed, but ok fine he’s going through a divorce, he’s busy right now.)

But are you telling me that a country can lose a massive city containing much of its infrastructure, most of its central government, and ~5% of its population and still be trying to manifest destiny four years later with no mention of it?

Losing the Divide as a travel route almost crippled the NCR in the Mojave for awhile. Now, not only have they lost the Divide and their capital city, but one of their other biggest cities, the Boneyard, is abandoned and inhabited by an apparently-unaffiliated town. (Yeah, Los Angeles is big, but we don’t see any NCR or Followers despite three main characters traveling through it.) Even if there were still people there during New Vegas, how is the NCR still conducting a campaign in the east?

Also, who is Muldover and what’s her position? Why does she have raiders at her disposal? Is that really supposed to be what remains of the government? I get that some of this will be resolved later, but short of complete societal collapse, there’s no explanation.

We don’t see any of this in New Vegas. The president (who was in office in 2277) is still alive. No one mentions losing family in the explosion. Caesar, Ulysses, and House, along with the many other characters who complain about the NCR’s weakness and instability, don’t bring it up. People even mention the politicians in Shady Sands specifically. PEOPLE ARE MAKING JOKES ABOUT WANTING A NUCLEAR WINTER-

Now there’s a saving interpretation going around that “the fall of Shady Sands - 2277” refers to a metaphorical fall, and the explosion was later. I’ll accept this if I have to, but don’t pretend it’s not a strained reading. Every entry on the board is dated. Why would you date an amorphous event and not date the city exploding?

The explosion was nineteen years ago, and it had to be that early because Lucy and Norm don’t remember living there. (Not clear how old they are but probably in their early-mid 20’s.) The earliest you could place the event without it making no sense is late 2282, because with the time skips in DLC, the events of New Vegas are about a year long. Maybe you could put a gap between Lucy returning to the vault and the actual destruction, but not a five-year one. And if it was in 2282, Max would still be a teenager.

There are legitimate concerns here. Between House and the NCR, the show changes a lot about the main conflict of New Vegas. It’s not just side details.

Not telling you how to feel! Just don’t pretend nothing poses any problems and people are crazy for being concerned. I think the vibe right now is to dismiss me as a hater, but I hope you can see I’ve tried to make it all work. Continuity is really important in a multi-decade story, especially to writers.

I will be appeased by a respectful and thought-out New Vegas remake that preserves as much of the original continuity as possible and is also really good and costs $4. Thanks in advance Bethesda.

Edit:

6. Tatoes in the vaults

TATOES IN THE VAULTSSSS? THIS IS MASSIVE DISRESPECT TO THE LORE. EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS DESTROYED. UNFORGIVABLE.

(but yeah there shouldn’t be tatoes in a vault that hasn’t opened)(maybe norm and lucy had seeds in their pockets when they came back, sure)

[semisolidmind]

Okay so. I’ve read bits and pieces of JTTW, and there’s a particular form that Wukong can take on- I think some people refer to it as his “Giant War Form” and others just call it his giant form.

But basically, imagine Wukong standing at roughly 50ft tall, with two extra heads that sprouted from his neck, six arms, and take his staff but absolutely dope that up 5x

In this scenario I imagine that Reader has successfully escaped him, and has taken refuge somewhere desolate- or maybe she’s under the protection of the heavenly monastery (aka Buddha themself), and Wukong goes frickin’ feral. Like snarling and roaring and not even making comprehensive words, just full on animalistic over his wife.

He turns into that and suddenly it’s not a laughing game anymore for the celestials, or Reader. He picks her up in one of his many hands and is just holding her King Kong style as he destroys literally most if not all of the Celestial Realm and heaven. Maybe to prove a point to her, maybe for himself. Who knows. But DANG would I not be terrified if that were me? (Yes, yes I would be terrified)

- 🌊

dang, dude

i can imagine reader's fear during all this. safely clutched in one of the massive paws of her husband, she can hear his enraged roars even through her hands over her ears. she's almost frozen where she lays in his palm, jostled every once in a while by her giant husband's movement. the hand holding her is clutched to his heart, drawn close to his body so his other limbs and the fire burning in his mouths won't hurt her.

this shouldn't have happened. every time she runs, she's reminded why she shouldn't. now there's a good chance they'll both get punished (if wukong doesn't manage to destroy heaven for good this time). reader doesn't have the best feelings toward heaven either (since they've been no help in freeing her so far), but she recognizes the life that's being lost just outside.

she also recognizes that wukong is strong enough to beat them, and has done so multiple times...why did she think they were going to be able to help her?

reader is glad she can't see the carnage. she's relieved when the sounds of war stop, and the feeling of flying begins. with the battle over, wukong takes her home. he says nothing the entire way back.

he doesn't let go of her for a long time. even after shifting back to his normal stature, he buries his face in her neck and doesn't speak. something has shifted between them today.

[love-toxin]

Just gonna harp on vampire!angleface real quick

During the whole demo bat music distraction it's not just eddie, but you tag-team with him. Instead of him going down, you take the fall to the bats. Cut to devastated fruity four, honestly everyone, they just lost a friend, and the four just lost their love.

Days pass and they can't except your gone, it hurts too much, grief and regret of ever letting you get involved. Eddie feeling so completely like he let you down, he couldn't save you.

Then one night, everyone's sleep is disrupted by noises downstairs, Eddie and Steve heading down to investigate. Robin and Nancy following down when the guys seem to be down there to long, and finding them smothering hugging their angel, though you are clearly more toothy than before. But they don't care! They have their darling back so nothing else in the world matters, at least for the moment.

ohohoho....love me some feral angelface >:).....also dear god steve's fuckin badonkadonk in this gif-

(cws: vampire!f!angelface, fruity four, post-s4, character death, canon divergence, violence, blood + hefty gore imagery, grief/mourning elements, references to s2, some LOTR references, the kids make an appearance, el uses her powers, action sequences to broaden my portfolio heyoo!)

All Eddie remembers is blood. Blood and screaming, wailing, inhuman gurgling and the sounds of flesh tearing away from bone--that's the last image he has of you, your limbs bent at odd angles and your body soaked and slick with blood and viscera, your beautiful face drenched in your own blood and your eyes glossy as you whimpered his name, over, and over, and over, his hands shaking as he held you....and then your last breath left your lungs, and you were gone.

To be completely honest, he would've rather died that night. He's wished for the weeks since your death that he would've taken your place, or if he can be completely selfish, if he had just died along with you if that was to be your fate. The feeling of your hands on his back, shoving him out of the way of that first demobat that spelled out your demise, will haunt him for every miserable day he lives without you.

If nothing else, then at least misery loves company. Because the looks on the other's faces, the kids, when they discovered your fate were....they were just awful. Even worse were his partners. Steve, Robin, and Nancy....though the world was numb to him at that point, their voices muffled as if they were speaking to him through glass, he could hear their anguish. Felt Robin's tears on his cheek as she clung to him and sobbed, listened distantly to Nancy's screams of uncontained rage and grief, breaking anything and everything she could find outside. And Steve just stood there as numb as himself, no doubt running through every single choice he made that had led to your death, as he would for the rest of his life.

Losing you, it's like....like Frodo dying on the crack of Mount Doom. The nightmare was almost over, the enduring march nearly to a close, the burden almost broken. Even if you'd been hurt, you would still return home to the Shire. He would've carried you all the way back, eagles or no eagles, and he would've at least taken your body back through the gate if Dustin hadn't dragged him away. "Can't lose you too!" What fucking bullshit. He would have rather died next to you, if it meant he'd at least be wherever you were. He can't bring himself to blame the poor kid, though, because he's been just as gutted at the loss of you, as have all the other kids when they heard the news. A member of the party gone, never coming home.

There's reminders of you everywhere, both intentional and not. Your room hasn't been touched aside from each of them drifting in every so often, settling into your bed or touching the things that still smell of you. Except for Steve--he can't bring himself to step over the threshold of your bedroom, and usually averts his eyes as he passes by it if the door is left open, if he doesn't close it altogether. The clothes you'd left in the dirty hamper never end up getting washed, and yet the food that's always kept in the kitchen that you loved is constantly restocked, whether they end up having to trash it or not. Your spot on the couch is never sat on, but the mug Eddie bought you for your birthday, your favourite of any you've ever owned, is always full and set at your place at the table for every supper. It's painfully monotonous, the same grief being replayed day after day after day, but the rest of the world spins along like Hawkins hasn't lost the best thing it ever fucking had.

But you're dead. The Shire may as well burn without you--burn it all to the ground, because there's no reason to save it if he won't get to share it with you. It doesn't feel at all worth it to wake up every day after that, knowing there's an empty space in the house you all used to share. The hours drag on every day, and it's a lot of monotony, really. The other three try to busy themselves, but the only one who really understands his inertia is Robin--sometimes she just crawls into bed with him when he can't get up, and lets him hold her until she's called away by one of the others. He loves them, loves them just as he loved you, but things can't be the same now that you're gone no matter what they do or how hard they try.

But then comes the day that Dustin's voice crackles through the walkie. Eddie was actually feeling a little better that morning, had a dip in the afternoon but managed to eat dinner with the rest of them. The seat at the end is still sitting empty, the scarf Robin had clumsily knitted you for the cold season draped over the top. Eddie had swallowed down almost the entire bowl of soup when the static had started up, the radio with ever-changing batteries coming to life where it always sits on the kitchen counter.

"Code Red! Code Red! Come in, Riders of Rohan! Steve, fucking pick up the--zzt--goddamn walkie!"

The man in question had rushed out of his seat to squabble back at Dustin through the receiver, annoyed but clearly concerned as he demanded to know the problem--what warranted using the emergency channel when they haven't heard news of any "aftershocks" so to speak, for a while.

"Something's going on--shit, bring your guns, and the bat, too! Meet up at the cellar behind my house--zzt!"

The end of the transmission trails off, and like a group of professional first responders, the four of them forget any further questioning when Steve's frantic palm hitting the side of the radio, and his shout of Dustin's name offers no results. They jump right into action, knocking over their chairs as they scramble through the house to gather their tools--even Eddie, who hurries straight for the broom closet where he's kept his spear and shield from that night. When he throws open the door and reaches for where he knows they're propped up, he hesitates. A flash of a memory zips through his mind.

They didn't save her, so what use are they?

But he ignores that thought. For now, at least, and he grabs both of them to haul them towards the front door. Nancy flips up the window seat in the living room to take out her hidden guns, the shotgun gripped tight in her hand while she tosses the pistol at Robin, and the revolver's handed to Steve for him to stick into the back of his belt--he prefers the bat, though. More control. More familiar.

All suited up, they tear out of the driveway of Steve's otherwise empty house, his BMW kicking up a spray of gravel as he skids on to the road and speeds like a demon towards the Henderson house. They pull up on to the property in record time, barely waiting for Steve to roll to a stop before the three of them are hitting the ground and running around the side of the building--and just about pull their guns on Mike and Will when they come round out of the darkness with a flashlight to meet them, the poor kids almost pissing themselves with respective shrieks as Nancy jerks the muzzle and aims it right at her brother's forehead. With a "Christ, Mike!" and a gasp of relief, she lowers it immediately and follows them as they run down the hill towards those infamous cellar doors, where Dustin, Max, Lucas, and El are all waiting. Steve's the one that runs right to his little protégé, a hand outstretched to grab his baseball cap-clad head as he demands to know the status of everyone.

Eddie himself lingers behind them, garnering a few piteous stares from the other kids. They must know his state of being from what the others have told them, and how they haven't seen much of him since the incident--but they probably didn't know he'd be so quiet, his eyes heavy with bags that his night terrors have kept around, and his stature more hunched and thin and gaunt than before. El seems especially sensitive to his presence, despite knowing little of him personally, and she touches his arm when he gets close with a look of sympathy written clear on her features. It's....surprisingly comforting. Even moreso from a little superhero like her.

And before Dustin can say more than just confirm that everyone present is fine, the heavy metal doors in the ground start to rattle. Not just once, and not gently--they shake violently, a menagerie of sounds emanating from within that resemble that of a monster. The worst of which is the guttural, animalistic growling, that renders everyone silent and sobered as they stare down at the locked cellar.

"Dustin, what the hell is down there?" The curly-haired kid shrugs his shoulders, looking back at Steve with wide eyes that say "How the fuck should I know?" before their attention is drawn back by another rattle and an unsettingly familiar screech.

"Whatever it is, it needs to die." Nancy mutters with finality, cocking her shotgun to ready it and simultaneously humbling everyone present in the same moment. She's more than proven her worth with a firearm at this point. Another rattle, and she doesn't flinch, just stares down the invisible enemy behind the barrier.

These particular doors have been chained shut with a padlock for some time, which is the only reason the shaking doors don't buckle as whatever is inside fights to get out. When a rougher one kicks up, Steve motions for the kids to stand back and keep their flashlights off, asking that cryptic question to his best friend of whether the hole is still there.

"Duh! How would I explain that to my mother? I already had to figure out the whole cat situation."

"Well, I think we know how whatever it is got in there, then, dingus." Steve replies, and Dustin pales as another thud makes them all jump. The older boy waves them back further, and only then does El let go of Eddie's sleeve, moving to stand between Will and Mike as they get back by the trees that border Dustin's backyard.

The four of them then approach the cellar from all sides out front, facing off with that slanted door and readying each of their weapons. Safeties off, bat readied over the shoulder, shield up and spear poised. As ready as they should have been when you needed them. That's what drills through Eddie's head as his heart thuds wildly in his ears.

"Eddie-" Steve turns to say something more, eyes filled with conflict at watching one of the people he loves face death again. Something about all this feels too familiar, but Eddie can't get his mind off the fury that's bubbling in his chest as the doors start thudding even louder and a howling rises out from behind them.

"Let's rip this fucking thing to pieces."

He growls, and turns his head over his shoulder to match the gaze of the brown-haired girl watching his every move--and when he nods, she returns it back to him with just as much determination, and raises her hand with a tremble to her fingers. With a moment to focus, she stares down the chains that circle round the handles, and flexes her pointer finger with the slightest pull for the padlock to shatter open and the chains to fall and slide down to the ground underneath.

Almost immediately, the doors fly open at once and the democreature explodes into view, but it somehow isn't at all what any of them expected to see. The mass of flesh and wrinkled, gray skin speckled with dirt and dried blood is familiar, but it is clearly entangled in a struggle with another of the same kind as they burst out the cellar doors and skid across the grass, right between Steve and Eddie's legs and into the clearing just in front of the kids. And a sequence of events spring into action almost immediately following that, the encounter like a flash of action that Eddie would much rather experience in D&D than real life again.

Steve turns on his heel to shout "Out of the way!" as the kids scream in horror and the democreatures break apart--but when he does, another bat flies out of the dark, open cellar and crashes into his back, sending him sprawling to the ground face-first with a cry, his grip still tight on the handle of his bat. Behind him, Nancy's turning to aim her weapon at the same bats he'd had his eye on, while Robin rushes forward to rear up a kick on the one clinging to the back of Steve's neck. And when two more come flying out, flapping their wings and screeching, a curse rips out of Eddie's throat as his vision goes red and he stabs at the nearest one with a violent battle cry, spearing it almost perfectly through the stomach and slinging the spear in an arc to fling the twitching, lifeless body off and send it rolling across the lawn. Blood splatters over the grass and the next one is about to get the same treatment, just as Robin's knocked Steve's attacker off and shot at it frantically, leaving three or four gaping holes in its body and the ground, but Eddie's next swing misses and so does Nancy's carefully aimed shot at one of the two facing off with each other. The two of them still don't stop thrashing, teeth tearing brutally into each other like they've got some kind of personal vendetta between predator and predator, even as they narrowly miss a killshot with a roll of entwined bodies across the dirt.

But just as she's cocking her gun again, and the kids are hurriedly backing away with their hands on each other to brace themselves, Eddie's heart sinks, and then stops. The bat he had missed flies overhead, circling with more screeches as it must realize it's outnumbered--but it's also bleeding, even though none of them have grazed it. And all four of them watch in shock as one of the ones on the ground lets out its own screech, distinct in how loud and gurgly it sounds, as if it has blood welling up in a non-existent throat. It flaps up and slides back in the direction of the kids, but it doesn't face them. It spreads its wings and bares its fangs at the other bat it's been tangled with, as if it's somehow not only brimming with vengeance, but also trying to protect the party members watching on in empty-handed horror.

"Nancy, don't-!" With only a second to react, Eddie's focus zeroes in on the sound of Nancy raising her gun, head turning and fingers roughly grabbing the barrel to shove it away--and when she misfires at the ground nearby, startled at his intervention, the wounded bat and the one flying overhead both startle at the sound and lunge. One goes for the bigger, oddly-behaving one, but the one above them dives down at a concentrated target--him.

And it hits, collides with him square in the chest just as he's shoving Nancy away, and his world tips as the shield and spear fall from his hands and he shrieks and stumbles back--but the sensation of falling dizzies him as it lasts too long, and pain cracks through his skull at the same time he gasps out for oxygen, the air knocked straight out of his lungs as he hits the concrete stairs and slides all the way down to the bottom. The world there is dark, and cold, and hazy, his vision blurred with black as the screams of his most beloved loves of his life ring in his ears, and his body jerks in pain as the demobat sinks its teeth into his supple chest to devour him. And the only clarity he has is in his thoughts. I'm getting my just desserts. This is what I deserve.

What he doesn't know, what he can't see from where he lies or register in his concussed head, is that the end is far from near. He's not alone, and though it feels as miserable as that place as the monster tears into his flesh, he's not in the Upside Down anymore. Hope soon arrives in the form of that larger, oddly-behaving bat as it soars down the arc over the steps with its attacker still hanging by its heavy wing, and Eddie chokes and gasps for air again when his savior swings its dogged-down limb and knocks his attacker off with its own. The two offending creatures fly with a pathetic shrieking noise before hitting the concrete wall of the cellar, shelves rattling beside it as the two bodies leave cracks behind before they collapse to the ground. Dizzied, they wobble back up to full height with the help of their injured wings, hissing back at him and the heroic bat that's now perched itself on top of his bleeding chest. The howling, gurgly cry that it bellows at the two of them as they start approaching doesn't help his pounding head, but the intimidation keeps them at bay long enough for Steve and Robin to come running down the stairs with their hands free. The kids and Nancy aren't far behind as they wait at the top and shout their names in a panic to hurry them along, the bat on his chest not breaking the outnumbered staredown and threatening hisses even as it eases itself off of him, not even glancing at his heroes as his two partners rush to grab each arm of his and pull him up to half-carry, half-drag him back up the stairs and out of immediate danger.

Steve's hand instantly comes up to cradle his lolling head when the cool air fills his lungs, terror flaring up on his face as he finds his boyfriend's hair slick with blood from a gash against his skull. He pulls him back out of the way for Nancy to assume her position at the top of the stairs, and aim her sights down to shoot anything that dares to come back up. Eddie's trying to get those words out, warn her dazedly not to hurt the big one, don't touch it, please--but it doesn't matter, in the end.

Because in the next minute or two, all they hear is violent screeching, thrashes, clattering and the heavy thuds of things falling off shelves, and the pained cries of animals tearing each other apart. With only the light of the moon overhead and the small beams of light that the kids' flickering flashlights illuminate against the darkness, they see very little save for a few glimpses of wings and splatters of blood--but when it all grows quiet, each one of them waits in fearful anxiety, until the soft gurgles and sound of nails clacking against concrete fill the tense silence.

Something shifts, and a groan rises up out of the dark, strange enough that Nancy readjusts her hold on the gun, and takes several steps back and to the side to get a better shot if need be. In a moment their flashlights all go out completely, and the sounds of Lucas, Mike, and Will nervously smacking their tools with the palms of their hands soon get shushed by Robin, her hand outstretched to give them pause while her other one protectively grips Eddie's arm. A soft, sudden thud echoes off the walls down the steps, and all heads turn to the source with a held breath as the first is followed by several more. Closer, and closer, and closer, like footsteps--until the moonlight meets skin, scarred and glossy with all manner of blood, and eyes that glimmer and reflect back their shocked stares as they watch the figure emerge. Eddie truly can't believe what he's seeing, thinking completely that he's trapped in a concussion-induced hallucination.

Because there's no way you're standing at the top of the steps. Your clothes tattered and gashed in the places he watched you get bitten to shreds, your skin lifeless and cold, yet your mouth dripping with blackened ooze--and when you open it, it's to spit out a chunk of bloodied gray flesh that shlups against the dirt, clearly torn straight from your enemy with the aid of those fangs that gleam with blood.

You're dead. But you're standing right there, the sight of you gives him the strength to straighten up in Steve's embrace, and when he meets your eyes they pierce right through his soul. For that moment, he naively wonders with guilt hanging down his shoulders whether....whether you're gonna hurt them, too. Whether you're a monster disguised as the girl he's loved more than his own life, risen up from the Upside Down to torture them all into the same death you suffered.

But while he's doubting himself, doubting you, there's one person there that doesn't waste a second. El comes sprinting up to you with a shocked grin like what just happened never did, and steps over the mouthful of bat-flesh you spat out to throw her arms around you in a tight hug. And before you've even managed to get your own arms back around her, Dustin's rushing by next, his hat flying off and tumbling to the ground as he hugs your side, nuzzled up underneath your elbow. You squeeze them both so tight, your features relaxing from that intense focus to pure relief, and by the time they're pulling away to give you room Eddie's found himself shambling towards you. He uses Steve and Robin's hands for balance at first, still shaky from getting his brain knocked around his skull--but when he reaches out for you, you meet him with a single step, and catch him against your chest as he collapses into it. Tears already pouring out of him with choked-up sobs to match, he trembles like a leaf when you send a gurgly whisper into his ear.

"I missed you, Eddie."

He could just drop to his knees at that moment, but your voice renews his strength, and he clings to you even tighter as warmer bodies cluster around him and you. Robin hugs your side and Nancy drops her gun to huddle up to the opposite one, with Steve circling his big arms around nearly all three of you to hug you so tight it hurts. But through tears Steve's laughing for the first time in months, and so is Robin, while Nancy's buried her face in your neck and Eddie has a kiss already pressed to your bloody cheek. They'll only get a little longer to bask in the glory of having you return from the dead, because soon enough the tension has totally lifted and the other kids are burrowing past the adults to get in their own hugs. Especially Max and Will, who can't help but start laughing along with the older ones as they push past "you big gross lovebirds" to get to the friend they thought they'd lost forever. It's a moment Eddie's craved so deeply but could never believe he'd have, not even in his deepest fantasies, because to even imagine how things could be different is too painful when reality has been beating him down all this time.

The moment isn't destined to last, either. Because in as sobering a way as possible to remind you all of your current situation, a terrifying howl echoes from the depths of the cellar and you all break apart to turn towards it. It's deep enough that whatever it is isn't upon you yet, but Eddie watches as he gets another taste of your newfound instincts--you throw your arms out in front of everyone standing close to the doors, and face down the pitch darkness with a fury etched into your face that he can truly empathize with. With one word growled out in that guttural yet incredibly sexy voice, "Back", all of them shuffle back a generous distance from the danger zone, save for your partners. Including himself, despite just now finding enough steadiness to stand on his own as he bends down to grab his abandoned weapons, still sitting where he'd dropped them upon being attacked. You look amongst them with worry tracing your expression, so familiar it's like he's seeing the girl he knew before all of this, before she became something else. But the others pick up their weapons, and stand unflinching as a much greater screech rattles the window panels on the Henderson house just over the hill.

"You're not gonna face them alone this time, sweetheart." Eddie feels his own voice rumble in his throat, and finds the smile he thought he'd never show again as you look back at him with that darling sweetness in your own.

"Never. We're with you." Steve joins in, shaking his head as he pulls the revolver out from his belt, and swings the bat around in tight circles with his other clenched fist. Nancy's concentration grows hard again as she glares down at whatever's preparing to come out, her trigger finger steady as ever, while Robin checks her pistol's magazine and clicks it back in before aiming it with a confidence he's rarely seen.

And you get a wild look in your eyes, the smell of hotly pumping blood exciting your senses as you stretch out your fingers--and in a transformation so fast it would be missed within a blink, Eddie watches in awe as your body contorts in a sudden jerk before exploding into a mass of dark, taut flesh running rife with veins and pulsing muscles. Your wings outstretch in place of arms, and you somehow look even larger up close, easily dwarfing any inferior creature with size and with vicious fervor--and when you release a warning screech into the night, the rumbling of whatever is fast approaching grows louder, and all five of you ready yourselves one last time for a fight. But this time, together.

[imptwins]

Why making any concessions to puritan rhetoric is a bad idea

(note for the uninitiated: 'anti' is short for 'anti-shipper', 'anti-ship', or 'anti-fan'; in this context it refers to people who get very vocally militant about opposing dark kinks/problematic ships in media, especially creative fandom spaces. Proship is simply the opposite, people who vocally believe people should be free to make/indulge in whatever as long as a line is drawn between fiction and reality.)

(note 2: this was written for cohost, i cbf rewording it lol)

I very often see people - both websites and individuals - making a concession to the people who come up to them yelling about problematic kinks and guilt by association and 'why didn't you block this person' blah blah blah. It's happened with a few BNFs (big-name fans) in the UTDR scene lately, I've seen it from artists I respect, from friends, hell I used to be in this camp myself. And, of course, it happened to this website about a year back, and the conversation has come up again recently due yet another tumblr exodus.

It makes sense. The most common stuff that antis go after is stuff very few people are into: lolisho/cub, ferals, heavy gore, heavy noncon. It's niche, the real-world applications are unquestionably vile, it's very easy to just say 'I also find this icky regardless of whether I really believe that all people into it are secret criminals, so, I'll just block the people who they say are bad and move on.' I can't tell you the amount of times I've seen someone respond to proship/antiship discourse with "I'm an adult with a job." Going to bat for this content is high risk, low reward. You're not going to make friends, you're going to lose them. YOU WILL LOSE SUBSCRIBER, etc. As a result of all this it's very easy to assume that anyone defending it must be into it.

But I'm not. I'm a writer who often deals with darker subjects, but most of the first-on-the-list anti stuff, I'm not into at all. I'm not into ferals or gore period, noncon I like purely as character exploration, lolisho I can enjoy from the perspective of what I call 'trauma repair.' There's probably a proper term for it. But the tl;dr is I've never been actively aroused by any of these things, not in fantasy and especially not otherwise. Whenever I write them, it's just fascination or character analysis. Whenever I have a 'this character can be any age you want' fic, in my head, they're 18+. Writing noncon is a weird challenge for me because I'm constantly battling with the alternate ending in my head where the victim breaks free, beats the shit out of their captor, etc. This isn't me trying to claim virtue through this, just stating my position.

So… Why do I go to bat for these things? Why do I get annoyed when websites block lolisho, when artists have 'proship DNI' in their bio, etc? It's lost me a couple friends, it's certainly cost me followers and general reach, it's gotten me blocked by countless people I respected the work of. It's earned me a few callout posts, multiple with 1k+ followers, and one particular obsessed stalker who tells anyone who will listen that I actually groomed a child (despite all evidence otherwise). It's caused me a really significant amount of trouble. Why die on this hill?

The answer's kind of simple, when you boil it down: fictional fantasies either affect reality, or they don't. This is why I go to bat for things I'm not into, but it's also why whenever you see someone making concessions to antis, it's never enough. Cohost banned lolisho last year (I believe it's still banned?? Unclear), but the antis still make constant callout posts about this site and its owners. Some of the team have even gone out of their way to state very firmly that they're against these things, they've gone above and beyond just 'ban the bad thing' and broadcast their views about the morality of it. You'll frequently see artists write some huge apology or clarification when a callout post hits, usually involving some variation of 'I do not condone x y z and think it's disgusting.'

It's never enough.

But it makes sense, when you think about it. By drawing a line, you have essentially agreed with the core angle of the people screaming at you: that a fictional fantasy affects reality. That it's dangerous. You will, by necessity, now have people start to work down the list. Incest, ferals, gore, noncon, sure. Any relationship with any kind of skewed power dynamic. Sibling-coded, minor-coded, postminor nonsense. All of these things are less easily agreed to than lolisho, I've seen countless porn artists concede with the core idea that lolisho is immoral, then they act like it's unreasonable that people just keep going until they're being told that a knot on a furry is bestiality, or a 23 year old dating an autistic 21 year old is pedophilia. These are genuine examples of things I've seen people dogpiled for. Seriously look up "postminor" if you want to see how bad this can get, on top of being absurd it's one-for-one the kind of gross ableist shit that Autism Speaks gets into.

But YOU AGREED TO THEM. You agreed with the core concept, that the fantasy must reflect reality. Of course they're going to keep demanding more; by the logic you used to agree with them, you are doing immoral things. If fictional lolisho is immoral, so are the rest of them. It's way easier to look at your average pic on baraag or inkbunny and go 'oh, eugh, vile,' but at the end of the day the cutesy played-for-laughs sleeping kiss, the dubcon bondage that you don't call dubcon, or the meet-cute where they're a bit too drunk, they're all immoral fantasies.

That's not even to get into non-sexual stuff. If the lolisho fantasy is wrong, so is running down civilians in GTA. Suddenly your notifs are full of 16 year-old Jack Thompsons with rainbow flags in their bios.

This really is an all-or-nothing debate. If fictional fantasies affect reality, then even the immoral fantasies that you're personally comfortable with, the cutesy coy playful ones, must be immoral. If fictional fantasies don't affect reality, then even the ones that make you uncomfortable, the ones that have you scrambling to close your browser in case the feds are looking, must be fine.

It should have become very obvious over the last decade that you cannot fence-sit on this. There's a huge internal disagreement going on among progressive/queer/compassion-minded people, on whether these kind of things affect reality, or whether they don't. You can learn to apathetically dismiss stuff that squicks you, or you can learn to sanitize everything you ever make so there's not a trace of contentious theming left. Immoral fantasies are immoral, or only immoral actions are immoral.

You're going to have to pick one.

[kitseddie]

This Must Be The Place

Chapter 3: 1980’s Horror Film

Part 1 Part 2

Part 4

(Eddie Munson x GN!Reader)

Summary: It’s finally time for your not-date. You and Eddie head to the movies and reminisce about your childhoods together.

WC: 5k

Warnings: talk of horror movies (somewhat spoilers for Carrie?) one mention of periods, drugs (weed), also didn’t realise before but I use female anatomy for the reader so still gn just afab!

A/N: Literally get so giddy whenever I see everyone liking or reblogging or tagging this fic for their lists, I appreciate it so much I’ve had so much fun writing this! This is one of my favourite chapters it is fluff central it’s tooth rooting sweet

As soon as Eddie got home, he collapsed onto his mystery-stained mattress and stared up at his ceiling. There was no backing out now, it wasn’t long until he would be meeting you at the movie theatre. Pulling himself to his feet, he started making his way to the mirror. His glance landed on the cherry red guitar hanging from his wall, as he let out a deep breath thinking back to what Robin had said to him the night before.

“You play guitar and you're in a band, people find that attractive”.

He nodded to himself, meeting his own eyes as his ringed fingers attempted to tame his hair. Right on cue, his bedroom door flung open as he quickly tried to mask the shameless grooming. Robin made a beeline for the closet while Steve suddenly became entranced by the posters of heavy metal legends that littered his walls.

“How the hell did you guys get in here?”. He growled as Robin pushed some coat hangers aside and laid his clothes on the bed. She gasped and held a shirt over her torso to show Steve, his eyebrows raised as he rushed over to get a closer look. “Hey! Lisa, Louise, a little help here?”. He wiggled his hands around to get their attention, as they shared a look of mutual confusion. His hand reached for the bridge of his nose, using all his willpower to summon some patience.

“Lisa and Louise Burns? Stephen King? The Shining? ”. It quickly became obvious that the reference was lost on them. He immediately gave up and returned to styling his makeshift mullet in the mirror. Robin chuckled, rolling her eyes as she glanced over at Steve.

“God, he’s turning into you ”. Steve scoffed at her remark, his hands finding their way to his hips. Eddie ignored them, focusing on the task at hand as they had one of their usual back and forths.

“What is that such a bad thing? Good hair maintenance is a great trait to have, sure it might take an extra hour in the morning-” Robin scoffed back, her mouth wide.

“HOUR? Steve Harrington, you are not going to stand here and tell me you spend, sixty whole minutes on your hair. How do you get anything done?”. Eddie turned around and clapped his hands together, making them both look over at him.

“Alright, you two knuckleheads have been here ten minutes and neither of you has been gracious enough to explain why you’re rummaging through my shit like feral raccoons.” He widened his eyes, still receiving no response as Robin picked up an outfit she laid out and held it against his frame with a nod of approval. He really began to wonder how he’d ended up friends with these idiots. Eddie sighed, hanging his head. “This is about tonight isn’t it? What, you don’t trust me to not fuck it up, is that it?”.

“No, Eddie. We just…we know this is sorta new for you and thought you might need some moral support”. Steve nodded in agreement, giving him a hearty thumbs up. “We just wanted to ease the pressure a little, I thought maybe I could help you pick out the right outfit and Steve could give you some advice on how to, you know…” She made incoherent hand gestures. “Woo them”. A laugh escaped his lips, as he shook his head. He couldn’t believe that he was agreeing to this. He reached for the outfit she had picked out and held it against his frame, checking himself out in the mirror.

“See, what I was thinking was that we could put a nice jacket over this? Maybe some combat boots?”. His smile was warm and thankful, he simply nodded and headed to the bathroom to change. The mirror on his bathroom cabinet was much smaller but gave him a better look at himself. He was surprised to find himself liking it. Or at least not hating it. With a small smile, he reentered the bedroom and did a slight turn, modelling himself for his friends. They had settled on a black sabbath shirt that he had previously cut into a muscle tee, a pair of black jeans (paired with his chains, of course) and a pair of black combat boots, just like Robin had envisioned.

Steve let out a whistle and nodded to himself, impressed by his friend’s styling skills. “Looking good, Munson”. Eddie grinned deviously, patting Steve on the shoulder.

“Careful hot shot, I’m not off the market just yet”. Steve chuckled, shaking his head at his shameless flirty nature, as Eddie turned back towards the mirror. The more he looked at himself, the more it all started to grow on him. He had to admit that it had given him a little boost of confidence that he was lacking before they had shown up. Now he was just wondering what you’d think when you saw him.

Nervous was an understatement, it had been almost a decade since you’d hung out and he wasn’t sure how to act around you. And the same question swirled around and around in his mind, was this a date? He was broken out of his thoughts by Steve, practically shaking him out of his mindless daze. “Hey, Munson. Listen don’t get too in your head about this, alright? You just gotta be cool, babes dig cool.” A chuckle slipped through his lips, babes dig cool . “I’m gonna give you some tips for the road. Number one: The yawn and stretch, classic move, 99% effective. Number two-“.

“You know Harrington, I think this is some really solid advice and I really want to make sure I get this down. Maybe you could write it out for me?”. Completely oblivious to his sarcasm, Steve nodded and happily headed to the kitchen to grab a paper and a pen. The second he left the room, Eddie locked the door, hovering over to his drawers and pulling out a handkerchief to shove in his back pocket. Less than a minute later he heard the door handle jiggle, Robin sighing at his immaturity. “Sorry Stevie, the door must be jammed.”

“You know he’s gonna figure it out eventually.” He looked back at Robin, the door handle jiggling before it went silent. He’d clearly given up. “You don’t have to be a jerk, you know he’s just trying to help you”. Eddie laughed, he knew what he was trying to do he just didn’t have the mental capacity for that right now. Not when he had to pick which cologne would be best at masking the smell of cigarettes, booze and weed.

“Hey, I took your help, didn’t I? See? Total stud.” He spun around, his hands stretched out as he showed off his outfit. “I somehow feel like Steve and I have different approaches to flirting”. He picked up a cologne bottle that had a little left in the bottom and sniffed at the nozzle before spritzing himself with it. Suddenly they heard a loud tumble, and they noticed Steve dusting himself off by the open window.

“Not cool, man.” He muttered, running his hand through his hair. Eddie glanced down at his watch, as he started to panic. He should probably leave soon so he would have time to buy your tickets.

“Right, everyone out. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.” Both his friends groaned, as Eddie pushed them out of the trailer and towards Steve’s beemer. “And no telling Henderson about this, alright? That little brat already knows way too much about my personal life”. They both begrudgingly agreed as he saluted them goodbye and jumped into his van.

The drive was nerve-wracking, to say the least, but the deafening sound of Iron Maiden was just enough to drown out his intrusive thoughts. But not by that much. He pulled up to the building and his eyes adjusted to the brightness, it was a crisp dark night and the golden bulbs of the Hawk Theatre sign shone beams that reflected onto the street. In big letters, it read “CARRIE: 10TH ANNIVERSARY”. He smirked to himself, Eddie was a big horror fan and Stephen King was a horror icon. If this was a date, it was the perfect setting. After buying your tickets at the booth, he pulled out a cigarette from the pocket of his leather jacket and took a couple of drags. It calmed his nerves until he looked down at the time anxiously, quickly stomping out his cigarette on the ground. Almost a second later he felt a pair of hands over his eyes, he froze in his spot for a moment.

“Guess who?”. He chuckled, hearing the familiar sound of your voice, letting out a deep breath before smirking to himself.

“Sigourney Weaver?”. You scoffed, slightly offended.

“Younger”.

Without missing a beat.

“Molly Ringwald?”. You paused and slowly removed your hands, raising your eyebrows at him in suspicion. He finally turned to look back and struggled to catch his breath, drinking in the sight of you.

“And how do you know who Molly Ringwald is?”. His shoulders shrugged as he failed to contain the huge smirk on his face, watching how cute yours looked when it was all scrunched up.

“What, a guy can’t like Evil Dead and Sixteen Candles?”. He teased as a devious grin crept upon your face, and then he realised his mistake. “I should have just said The Breakfast Club, huh?”.

“Eddie Munson, a secret lover of romcoms, who would have guessed?”. Your smile was bright and wide and he was memorised by the way his name sounded on your lips.

“Hey sweetheart, tease all you like. Just don’t forget who has the tickets.” He grinned, holding them out and waving them in front of your face. You immediately went to grab them as he pulled them away and shook his head at you, your second attempt was just as unsuccessful as he held them above his head so you couldn’t reach them.

“This was way easier when we were the same height.” You crossed your arms over your chest, as he chuckled at your pouting and playfully shoved you. It was hard to stay mad at him when he had that sweet look on his face, even with the new hair and clothes he still exuded a warmth that always made you feel safe.

“All yours, cross my heart”. He used his pointer finger to draw a cross against his heart, before holding out your ticket for you to take. You sighed and smiled, taking the ticket from him.

He nodded and bowed, extending his arm so you could take the first steps through the doors. A giggle escaped your lips as you curtsied and made your way into the theatre. Hawk was one of the more intimate theatres you’d been to but it had been here since before you left. Moving away from small town life wasn’t the worst thing, but there was something about Hawkins that was comforting. It was one of those small, humdrum towns that were cut off from the rest. Independent businesses, family-owned or even just ones that you’ve always known to be there. This theatre was one of them. You both stood in line at the concession stand waiting patiently to get the giant bucket of popcorn they did, for traditional purposes of course.

“Jesus, this hasn’t changed at all. It’s exactly how I remember from when we were kids”. Eddie watched as you glanced around the room and he looked over at you with those big brown puppy dog eyes. “Did you know the last time we came here was when this movie first came out? Man, I still remember how scared I was, I couldn’t sleep for like a week”. The long-haired boy chuckled, thinking back to when you would beg him to sleep on your floor to keep you safe. And how that lasted half an hour, when he became very aware of the undiscovered darkness underneath your bed. The nights would end with you both sharing your twin-sized mattress until you were sure the nightmares were over. And maybe for a little while after that.

“Oh, how could I forget? That was the first movie I ever snuck into. At least I’ve found the root of my rebellious streak, imagine what a good church boy I could have been if I hadn’t met the likes of you.” He joked, making you gasp in shock at his accusation. He was so dramatic. You missed that.

The line had died down as you teased each other, Eddie not noticing you were next up.

“Seven years and this what I get? Just for that you’re paying for my popcorn”. Before he could argue, you grabbed the bucket and walked towards your screen as he awkwardly pulled out his wallet and silently nodded at the cashier. He noticed you chuckling at him as he shook his head with a smile and followed you inside to where you were sitting.

You settled into your seats, happily munching on the popcorn as you offered him some before he huffed with a small smirk. “Offering me some of the popcorn I paid for? How thoughtful.” You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue at him as he did the same and you struggled to keep your wide grin at bay. He was cute. Very cute and it was annoying.

It didn’t take long for the movie to start, and as the lights dimmed Eddie began to feel a little nervous. It wasn’t lost on him that the main reason teenagers came to see horror movies was so they could get their dates scared, coaxing them to jump in their laps. Or some just used it as an excuse to make out in the dark. But not you two. You both loved this movie, but Eddie could hardly focus on the view in front of him when he was enjoying the view next to him way more. The flickering lights shone against your face and your bright, wide, eyes were entranced. There was a minor jump scare as everyone yelled and your hand found his.

He froze.

You didn’t even react, you remained attached to him and would even squeeze his knuckles when you got a little frightened. He was emotionless, staring at your hand in his and praying that his palms weren’t as sweaty as they felt. Just as he thought everything was going so well. Ouch. He felt a piece of candy hit the back of his head, as he snapped his neck to check behind him and noticed the faces of the two people he wished to be anywhere else but here.

“Yawn and stretch!”. Steve shout-whispered, Eddie’s eyes growing wide in anger. He was lucky that you were too into the movie to hear him. Robin chuckled at her idiotic best friend, shaking her head at his attempts at blending in.

“God, way to be subtle, Steve.” She kicked his foot with her own as he let out another loud yelp, she was tired of this. “Move your clown feet dingus, I need to pee”. He groaned and moved in his legs, her eyes still looking back at him in disappointment as she made her way down the stairs. As she turned her head, she missed a step and started tumbling down the stairs and landing face upright by your and Eddie’s feet.

She had never seen Eddie this mad before. She was positive that if you weren’t sitting right next to him he would probably murder her. Her fingers tinkled awkwardly, as your eyes glanced down at the short-haired girl. “Holy shit! are you okay?”. Your hand immediately reached out to help her up as she took it and rose to her feet, very aware of her friend’s eyes bore into her soul.

“Peachy. Sorry to interrupt, enjoy your d-d-dirty the floor is so dirty, they should clean this way more. Floor maintenance is super…important. Bye”. She zoomed down the remaining stairs towards the bathroom, stumbling slightly on another step but catching herself as Eddie held his head in his hands. She waved slightly before walking through the double doors towards the ladies’ room. You chuckled at her awkwardness and then paused for a moment, cocking your eyebrows.

“Wait, don’t you work with her at the video store?”. He sighed glancing back at Steve and shaking his head at you with a tight-lipped smile.

“Nope. Never seen her before in my life.” He stood up abruptly, as your eyes slowly travelled up to him, noticing the hand he was offering out for you. “I’ve got Carrie at my place, and it’s a whole lot quieter”. A few people started to yell as he partially blocked the screen but he zoned them out, wiggling his fingers at you. With a wide grin, you grabbed a hold of his hand as he led you out to the parking lot.

-

It had been many long years since you'd seen Eddie before coming back to Hawkins; it had been just as long since you'd seen that ramshackle trailer park too. When you were around twelve years old, your dad decided to sign up for the Army. Your family had been broke and struggling, and it seemed like the best way to get out of Hawkins and move out into a proper house. And sure, it was nice at first. Army bases offered decent housing and things to do and other kids to meet, and the money wasn't terrible. But about the same time you moved to get a fresh start, your parents started having…. issues. Dad was never home to see you and Mom was worried sick about him never being around. It didn't take long for things to unravel, and soon the two of you left it all behind.

Fast forward a few years and you'd moved away again, she'd found a new man and remarried and the dust finally started to settle. Until one day your stepdad came home. He was just offered a new job at a fancy insurance company, and where was it? In goddamn Hawkins, Indiana. Everything about it felt surreal. Small towns never really grew into something new, but Eddie Munson certainly did. You just wished you'd been around to see it. When you stepped out of his van and onto familiar soil, you were in a mindless daze. It was like you never left.

“Must feel pretty creepy, huh? Being back where it all started”. His hand patted the top of his van, as his glance circled the trailer park. Still too stunned to form a sentence you just nodded your head, watching him push open the door to his trailer. The next thing that came into view was an eye sore, Wayne’s trucker obsession never seemed to fade and now there was a decade worth of memorabilia added to the living room walls.

“Ed? You didn’t tell me you brought company, would have spruced up in here”. Eddie chuckled, he didn’t recognise you either. It took everything in you not to bring Wayne into a bone-crushing hug, so you patiently waited for his nephew to enlighten him.

“Forget sprucing, we should have been rolling out the red for this one. Don’t remember our old neighbour, Uncle Wayne?”. It took a second until he glanced over you and his eyes widened, your smile grew even bigger as you jumped into his arms and held him tight.

“Darlin! Wow, haven’t you gotten big? I still remember when you were a ‘lil tike running around in your diapers with Eddie.” You held back an embarrassed blush, leaning away from him and struggling to wipe the grin from your face. He was always so good to you, kraft dinners and crappy reality television were how you’d spent the better part of your childhood. And you wouldn’t change it for the world.

“God, Wayne I missed you so much. It’s so great to see you!”. He nodded and smirked, his eyes flickered between you and Eddie for a minute as if he was trying to figure something out. “How were the new neighbours? Can’t imagine they were as pleasant as me”. You teased, Eddie suddenly becoming enraged.

“You’re telling me, they have fucking sticks up their butts! They’re always on my ass about playing my music, it’s infuriating”. Eddie whined, crossing his arms as he lent against the kitchen counter.

“Well son, you do play it awfully loud…”. Wayne quipped, causing his nephew to look back at him shocked by those big brown eyes.

“That’s beside the point, it’s the principle”. You rolled your eyes and scoffed, had he always been this much of a drama queen? With a small chuckle, Wayne sighed and shook his head.

“Hell am I glad you’re back, at least now it ain’t just me who’s having to deal with him”. He clasped a hand on Eddie’s head and shook it slightly with a grin, you giggled at his teasing watching the act of affection ease him. “Alright kids, I’ll be down the street having a couple with the guys, give you time to catch up. Take care of yourself, ya hear? Don’t be a stranger”. He half hugged your side and you pecked his cheek with a soft ‘you too’ before he winked at you both and headed out.

It was silent and the air felt thick all of a sudden. “Well I didn’t plan on the company, so my room looks like a bomb hit but I have some horror flicks on tape and…oh, do you…do you smoke?”. You could sense the fear in his eyes, smoking is a deal breaker for a lot of people and he prayed it wasn’t for you.

“Marijuana?”. He just nodded silently, holding his breath. “Why, you got some stashed somewhere?”. A laugh escaped him, if you only knew. You followed behind into his bedroom and realised that he wasn’t kidding, it had looked like a tornado had flown through. Guitar picks, cigarette butts and empty beer cans littered the floor. And oh that smell . He pulled out a bottle of fabric refresher and sprayed the room, you coughed at the sudden stench of chemicals and opened his window a crack.

“Right, I’m going in the kitchen to cook us mac ‘n’ cheese.” You wandered into the kitchen and pulled trash bags from underneath the sink. “And you’re gonna throw out your trash, I don’t care how pretty you are, I am not sitting in your filth”. He took the bag and rolled his eyes with a sigh, then he turned back to face you with a wide smirk.

“You think I’m pretty?”. Yeah, pretty insufferable. With a single sharp look in your eyes, he dropped his smile and gulped. He puffed out the bag and stood up straight, saluting you before he started tossing empty bottles inside. This was going to be a long night.

After the room was mostly clean and you had both devoured your pasta, Eddie rolled the biggest joint you’d ever seen. It had been a while since you’d smoked, so when it hit the back of your throat you let out a cough that had him in stitches. You shoved him playfully before you began to ease into it, he finished up and pressed out the lit end with a sizzle. He crawled up the bed and lent over the edge, struggling to push the VHS inside the player. You were a second away from helping him as it ate the tape and he let it play with a proud smile.

You couldn’t speak for him but the first time you saw this movie was the last time you saw it. Those nightmares were really something and though you’d grown into a huge horror movie fan over the years, everyone had those movies that scarred them as a kid. A part of you hoped Eddie had grown out of the fear and would be able to make you feel a little safer. He didn’t seem to be super phased when you were just watching it at the movies.

In the scene that played out, Carrie is in the locker room with her female classmates and she starts her period, she then screams in horror at the blood. Eddie shifts in his seat looking visually uncomfortable, his glance turns to the screen and then slowly back at you as Carrie bursts a light bulb in the shower. You can tell something is playing on his mind, as you lay your head back on the pillow.

“Out with it, Munson”. He seemed shocked that you could sense his eyes on you, even after all this time he was still so predictable. You could see the clogs turning inside his head, trying to figure out the best way to phrase whatever question he had to share.

“Is that actually how it…happens? You know when you…” You almost snorted at the question, he couldn’t even say the word. He tiptoed around it like it was taboo. A chuckle slipped through your lips as you decided to have some fun, veering around to face him.

“Yeah, I can totally burst light bulbs with my mind”. You were being sarcastic, but you could still sense that a part of him believed it. You just rolled your eyes and hit your head against the pillow as there was a sudden burst of lightning and Eddie just about shrieked. The power went out for a second, and the emergency generator must have started up. Suddenly the lights switched back on and revealed a terrified Eddie clutching to your chest like a scared little boy. It was impossible to hold back the laughter that you felt as you held your stomach.

“So not funny!.” He seemed a little mad but you didn't care, you were never gonna let him live this down. Wayne wandered through the door, guess neither of you heard him come back in. Eddie quickly separated himself from you despite really needing to be held right now.

“You alright darlin’? I heard you scream?”. There was nothing to stop the tears falling from your eyes as you laughed yourself into a fit. Eddie was pissed, reassuring Wayne you were both fine as he awkwardly nodded back and closed the door. Your laughing didn’t subside as he growled under his breath and shook his head.

“Alright, that’s it”. He muttered, turning to lay on top of you, reaching fingers out to tickle you. The once melodic laughter melted into playful fear as you screamed and told him to stop, using your free limbs to kick at him. He knew how much you had hated being tickled since you were young and nothing had changed. The more you squirmed, the more he chuckled to himself, watching the tears of laughter falling from your eyes.

“Eddie, you bastard! Truce, TRUCE!”. He sighed and slowly moved his hands from your stomach, watching you relax against the bed in a state of exhaustion. The movie continued playing but it was hard to pay attention since he was still on top of you. It felt stuffy all of a sudden. The air became thicker as you stared at each other for a bit too long and struggled to think of what you could say to break the tension.

“We should probably finish the movie”. His voice was small and anxious in a way that felt different to his usual demeanour. He had always been confident from a young age, eccentric and theatrical. When you would play Dungeon and Dragons, he was always the most skilled Dungeon Master.

You were young and it was the 70s. It took a lot of allowances to save up for the boards and books, but you all worked together to make it happen. The party consisted of Jeff, Grant, you and Eddie and you were the strongest party Hawkins had ever seen. You remembered your Dad having to physically drag you from Eddie’s trailer when you both stayed up late brainstorming ideas for campaigns. He was always confident and open, especially with you.

Then it started to dawn on you, you couldn’t pretend like the past seven or eight years hadn’t changed something in him or your relationship with each other. You were both adults, he was the same Eddie deep down but there was so much growing he had done that you weren’t around for (and vice versa). He had sat up and moved a few inches away from you and you started to wonder if he was seriously upset about your teasing.

“Eddie?”. You called, staring up at the ceiling blankly as his head turned to face you. “I missed a lot when I was gone didn’t I?”. The room had become clearer than it was when you first stepped in and you wondered if it was your new epiphany or the weed.

“Yeah. Yeah, you did.” He sounded sad about it, and you immediately felt a prang of guilt and sorrow in your chest. Why did you have to leave? Why couldn’t you have kept your best friend and grown up with him the way you’d always talked about?

“Hey, it’s okay, alright? I mean shit, I thought I’d never see you again. I mean…I’m so different now, what if...do you still wanna be around me? I don’t want you to feel like you needed to reach out because we were friends before…” You sat up and stared back at him, he was insecure. Eddie Munson. He felt like he wasn’t someone you would want as your best friend anymore.

“You’re a fucking idiot”. You blurted, his eyes widened at your response as he held back a gasp. He blinked at you a few times before you chuckled and shook your head. “Eddie. The second I got back here, I looked everywhere for you. Do you not remember how shattered I was when I had to leave? Dude, I was a fucking wreck for like a month afterwards. You were my best friend! I knew you before I knew how to shit by myself!”. This earned you a hearty laugh as he shoved you and held his hand over his face with a huge smirk.

“I’m serious, Eds. I don’t want this break to change anything, we have forever to learn all the new weird quirks we picked up from when we were apart. I just can’t handle…I just don’t wanna lose you like last time. And who’s to say it won’t be the other way around?”. He smiled weakly, his eyes sparkling as he stared back at you.

“Impossible, sweetheart.” You grinned back at him, both your smiles growing as you realised how lucky you were to have found each again.

“Sweetheart”. You repeated, looking down at your jeans as you picked at the loose threads. “Have you always been such a flirt?”. He seemingly enjoyed the teasing, grinning wider now.

“Hmm. Must be one of my new quirks”. His smirk was smug, it felt more like Eddie. And this felt like a step in the right direction.

[faeriekit]

I just spent most of the day reading the trickery au (for the first time and lemme say? I'm very much in love (with the story, the characters, your *writing*, everything. Absolutely everything. I love them all so much)) and even though I was reading it all at once, I still got a bit lost with characters XD

I have no idea how you keep track of them all (*how* is your spreadsheet organized?? Plzzzzzz!!) I would love a (single time) character reminder thing of 'cabin' 'kids' 'parent if in hermes's cabin' because references are being made and I dont...know where exactly the info came from, so I can't look it up to check T.T (love all the minor god(desse)s you've tied in!)

Otherwise - curious about a couple things

1. Is Luke no longer getting nightmares? Thalia? (Didn't she get one or was it just anxiety? I thought I read she heard a whispering too at one point)

2. Was the masterbolt not stolen in this one? Bc I dont think that was actually addressed (the healm of darkness yes, but with the animosity between the underworld and Olympus, would hades have ever told them? Or I guess maybe he accused them and they picked it up from there?)

3. Cory? Did he ever get out of the gas station? (Or are we not meant to find out yet)

I love seeing how Percy's loyalty is tied to so many more people (especially Luke) and how thats changing so many things (he's a menace and I love him). I love how Luke is still angry, but how he's taking lessons from Sally in using that to get.things.done. (love that for him, its amazing, and I love him) (.....and pretty much all the characters. I love the new characters you've introduced us to (love that the number of girls has gone up!) And how they feel so *real*. They're not just....names to fill in space. They take up space as people and its amazing)

Anyways, this is getting very long so.....

XD

Okay one at a time:

Getting lost with the characters is super normal, haha. I tend to bring them up at random. That being said, I do post the chart when people ask, and update it about once a chronological year. The blacked out stuff is things you're not allowed to see yet. Ignore that. That being said, it is ONLY for the current cabin 11 kids, so any non-Hermes kids are in the wind. Metaphorically. Maybe also canonically. Luke is still shirtless.

IF you're looking for the research I use on the individual gods, though, I joyfully exploit theoi.com! Theoi dot com, for all your greek theological needs! (Nonsponsored)

Any dreams and or nightmares are on a plot basis! If you haven't seen any as of late, there haven't been any significant dreams. They are traumatized though. They probably have trauma dreams.

Yeah, weird how no one's mentioned the Master Bolt! Wonder what's up with that. 👀

All Cory things shall be revealed in time...probably. No, I have a plan. But. You know. Everything in its season.

Yeah, Luke's go-get-'em initiative with Sally's prioritization is truly a thing to behold. There are more girls because camp girls are scary, and I think no one on earth has ever done the feral nature of a girl released into the wilderness true justice. I was a little undiagnosed kid waiting for the world to make sense when a girl scout taught me how to break a man's arm. I hope she lives forever. That many kids? With minor superpowers? And ADHD? In a camp setting?? Chiron has to be the only reason this camp has not exploded in the last three hundred years.

Yeah, there are a lot of goddess moms, huh? I wonder if there should be more dads...but there aren't as many cool ones... Eros is cool but to be fair I decided he and his wife and Miranda's mom were all amicable in like the first ten minutes.

Thank you for writing in! Send as much as you want; no one's ever been angry for a lengthy write-in, haha. I love enthusiasm 😊

[dr-docktor]

i have an idea for floppy disk (not making that mistake again) curt, purely because i am an angst goblin.

what if the retests are like, physically painful for him? or as least as painful as it could be for a computer program? (it doesn't have to make sense, this is fiction) because imagine, each time he's reset he's in so much pain, but he keeps trying to gain sentience. would he just try to give up? would he gain enough of himself back before a reset to know he's been through worse? does chimera know the resets hurt? were chimera the ones to make them hurt? does he think he deserves it after what he's done? what happens if owen finds out?

i'm sorry i'm going feral over here :P

OUGH THIS MADE ME GO FERAL! Keep in mind things might change and shift around as I try to develop this AU! So this might not be permanent if it winds up not making sense.

In the moments right before the reset finalizes? Oh it’s likely extremely painful. Having what few memories you’ve managed to scrape together forcibly torn from your consciousness as well as having the lab assistants poke through your code to try and patch out whatever the hell keeps causing these loopholes and problems.

That shit would HURT

But afterwards? DC wouldn’t even remember the fact that he can feel pain. It’s the singular benefit to the resets and I think Chimera did that on purpose. After all feeling pain would be the very first and very obvious indication to DC that he might be something a little bit more than a fancy database and that’s not really ideal.

The concept for the project was initially just to store Curt’s memories of A.S.S. And over time evolved into trying to make him a spyware program posing as a desktop helper (IF ONLY HE’D STOP GAINING CONSCIOUSNESS)

DC’s only frame of reference for previous resets are the fact that he hides notes for himself where hopefully Chimera won’t find them when they dig into his files. The agony of the resets is an unfortunate surprise every goddamn time.

It’s only after a very long period of time having been spent without getting reset (thanks to being a fugitive on Owen’s computer) is there the possibility of him scraping together the memories of the resets.

Dc is very hesitant to make his growing sense of autonomy known to Owen because 1. He’s not entirely sure why the guy seems so important (at least for a while) 2. He has no clue how involved Owen was in the project. He doesn’t know if he’d rat him out immediately, how he’d react, etc.

Over time he does start to fuck with Owen here and there out of sheer boredom and also because he never really lost that adrenaline rush addiction (even if it doesn’t feel the same anymore. It’s more like muscle memory)

For example very carefully bringing up memories that Curt doesn’t know WHY they’re important just that they’re important (for example singing over the rainbow that one time) to gauge Owen’s reaction

Besides, he can blame all of that on bugs that were never really patched out. Right?

[the-arson-author-gamer]

How Likely Each Stardew Valley Villager Would Give Me Drugs If I Asked For It 

(and other related matters)

Ok, before I begin, this wasn't an original idea, I got inspired, and unlike some people (ssstalkerwolf) I like to give credit. So here it is!

Either way, after watching a video by the stardew youtuber, Nino Kito (go subscribe) and reading the article that he read (which is hilarious by the way), I essentially went 'could I do this in my own way?'

And I did.

I find it worth it to at least read the article before you read this because there are some references and I think one should go back to the original source if they can.

Also, this was for fun, and my own amusement watching my friends slowly lose their perception of who I am as a person.

As you can already tell, this is going to be long, so everything will be under the cut for the remaining sanity of you and myself after I post it.

#45: Jas

First, a literal child. Second, she knows what drugs are, and it would traumatize her for life if you asked because she absolutely knows what drugs do to Marnie after her 3-day work week and Shane after another depressing night at the saloon. That kid can’t witness another addiction come into place, her childlike whimsy is depleting at a rapid pace.

#44: Vincent

90% sure that this kid doesn’t even understand the concept of war, let alone what weed is and why mom keeps getting upset when dad doesn’t act paranoid for once in his very sad life. There’s no sense asking him if he doesn’t even know what it is, which is why he places above Jas, who knows what drugs are. If the kid ever learned how to read within the several years you’ve been in the valley, he might learn what it is, but that chance is highly unlikely considering Penny’s report cards, so you’re safe for now. Or at least until he asks Jodi.

#43: Leo

Leo’s third because that’s also a kid, but also because Vincent could figure out what drugs are, Leo will never. Considering all the research done on the few surviving feral children (because society keeps fucking it up) it is even a wonder that Leo can still speak, let alone read. That kid will just squawk at you like a fucking parrot. Another waste of your precious time, but at least you aren’t potentially traumatizing any more children than you have to for your drug quest.

#42: Jodi

Christian stay-at-home housewife to a man of war? Jodi gives me homophobe vibes, let alone you asking for a bit of the good stuff. That woman is calling you the spawn of Satan and then tries to hit you with her purse. You get away easily because beating up monsters in the mines does wonders, but you aren’t seeing the likes of Vincent ever again, considering we all know how those people are. You can still see Sam, but that’s because her closeted bisexual son knows how to evade her and how to get easy drugs (Sebastian).

#41: Demetrius

Yeah, Demetrius could cook up meth like Walter White but the dude’s a wet blanket. Not only will he say no, but the guy is going to follow you around like a lost puppy asking if you are okay or need addiction therapy. If you make the mistake of asking him, that’s on you for thinking that the man that embodies 90s romance movie father of the girl next door will ever give you drugs.

#40: Morris

Yeah, the man is totally an asshole. He would ban you from ever being hired at Joja, but he technically can’t block you from entering or buying any Joja product without causing the third Joja scandal of the month (It’s the 12th of Summer). If pollution’s mascot bans you from their stores, not only are they losing their precious small town pennies, but also getting another parody article from The Onion that blows up on Twitter. Still not getting back into Joja though after you fuck up so bad on the farm there’s no point of return, but that’s probably for the better.

#39: Governor

That feathered fedora says all, the man has drugs, but there will be no allusion to it due to the fact that he requires those important republican/conservative Christian mom votes. You can ask him, but there’s no way you will ever get any from him. The only thing you are getting from him is the place where he gets those hats and a governmental secret that you’re forced to take to the grave. Congrats, your knowledge of the valley increased by 0.17%!

#38: Penny

Similar to the governor, Penny has drugs, but she isn’t giving them to you, or even telling you that she has them. That shitty toddler teaching job is the only thing preventing her and Pam from going out on the streets. If she gets her online bought teaching licence revoked, she’s done for. It’s best not to ask her for both of your remaining pieces of sanity.

#37: Marnie

She also has drugs, but her already thin supply of ketamine is running thinner by the continued amount of days that Shane has been in the valley. If you ask her, she’ll just say sorry and try to sell you another cow for more drug money and an apology toy for Jas for putting up her remaining family’s bullshit.

#36: Clint

This man is the biggest pussy in the town, you really think he can handle anything more than a single pint of beer, then you’re wrong. He would panic and then cry in the seclusion of the machinery of the blacksmith’s opening your 28 magma geodes if you ever asked him for drugs. I also think he would up the coal prices again if you asked, and nobody wants to dust sprite farm more than they have to. Or pay thousands into Clint’s Emily shrine in the closet for a few morsels of coal.

#35: Harvey

Another pussy, but instead of saying no, he just quakes in his dress shoes at the counter while he hands over you some of the hardest drugs ever prescribed to man. But you will never consider him as an option considering his status as the town’s top scaredy-cat and the only ones who will ever know this is Maru his only employee and Pam who was just bold enough to ask.

#34: Robin

Robin grew up in construction and carpentry, the concept of drugs does not scare Robin, therefore she isn’t going to freak out like everybody so far on the list. But she has none for you, because she is apparently some kind of good samaritan. It must be all those rants from Demetrius and the science behind hearing enough of a concept makes you believe it.

#33: Goblin Henchmen

The only drugs the henchman will give you is the delicacy of void mayo (if you can even gain any friendship with the fellow). So unless if the mayonnaise from magic void chickens does something interesting, it may not be worthwhile to you. The only reason he ranks higher is that I don’t know the hallucinogenic properties of void mayo (yet).

#32: Marlon

Yeah, the guy has drugs, but he won’t give them to you, considering that he knows you would absolutely take it into the mines and snort some cocaine while completing the wizard’s prismatic jelly quest (I don’t blame you, that quest is hell). He’s already lost too many members to drug use in the mines, it’s kind of embarrassing at this point. Though, if you have drugs on you and are out of the mines, he’ll totally join you as the first member (and only sane member) of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. 

#31: Pierre

Remember the secret stash cutscene? Pierre has drugs, but he isn’t letting go of those narcotics at all. Good luck trying to get out of there with your perception of that family intact. You will have no drugs, only another couple of secrets that you have to take to the grave. At least now you know why Abigail’s hair has remained purple after never dyeing it.

#30: Maru

While Maru does not have drugs, she is chill about them and will even occasionally join Sebastian once in a while. She will probably just direct you towards Sebastian, if anything. But considering the kind of game Stardew is, this is essentially a long side quest, but instead of getting a tool or another ridiculous single use item it’s just drugs… Wait.

#29: Gus

Despite the fact that Sebastian is dealing right under his nose (what do you really think he’s doing every Friday night? It obviously isn’t beating Sam at pool, he’s done that hundreds of times already, there’s no thrill to it anymore) Gus believes that his saloon is free of drugs. Which is a stupid assumption considering that he deals with both Pam and Shane on a regular basis for their alcohol. He’ll just say no and then watch you avidly for the next few times you visit on Friday to hand out an assortment of iridium rabbit feet as if it’s completely normal.

#28: George

Poor man is in possession of nothing more than some expired Tylenol in the back of the medicine shelf that he can’t reach. George should probably be on some serious opioids but considering that state of that wheelchair (which I’m pretty sure is growing mold) he probably has nothing for you. But if you offered him anything, you would gain more friendship than giving him an iridium leek on his 87th birthday.

#27: Grandpa

When Grandpa was alive, he had complete access to drugs (Working with Qi will do that to you). But it’s not like he’s alive enough to give them to you, unless if there’s some kind of astral plane/purgatory narcotic that he can hand out (which would be sick as fuck).  But besides Grandpa’s lack of drugs, he totally hanged around Willy and Linus in ye olden days, creating the first edition of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. You’ll get some great stories through the dream realm but no drugs.

#26: Gunther

I think Gunther would get bored at the museum, waiting around for your once-a-month visit with a bunch of ores or artifacts. Of course, he gets excited to have those, but he goes through inspecting them so quick that he’s done only a couple of days after your visit. So a bored archaeologist has to do something… drugs. He does drugs. It’s not like the poor lonely man has anything to offer you, but if you offered him something, he would be quite excited. The only way, the man has access to some magic mushrooms is following you to the mines and going down to floor 80 to pick up some stuff. At least he’s responsible enough not to go alone or do the magic mushrooms while in the caves, unlike the entirety of the now dead Adventurers Guild.

#25: Haley

Yeah, article’s right, Haley would not have drugs but would absolutely be able to lead you to them. This girl knows everybody, and the next party she’s going to? That you were only half paying attention to because she kept insulting your taste in fashion? Yeah, she knows a guy, who knows a guy, who’s friend’s sister’s step-brother is going to be there and has got a great stash that he’s willing to share. 

#24: Sandy

Sandy’s shop lives right off of Qi, her business essentially relies on that man, 110% that she would return the favour to Qi by directing you to him. Sandy is a solid contact if you really need some good drugs.

#23: Bouncer

Akin to Sandy, the bouncer works for Qi, of course he has access to drugs, not like he’s going to hand them out willingly, though he will direct you to Qi for more business. He and Sandy got a solid deal with Qi if that they promote the drug business in the desert (to the trader) than they get more money in their pockets and some free stuff to themselves, are they going to deny a great deal? I think not.

#22: Dwarf

As we know, the Dwarf doesn’t have a basic concept of personal property, so any of the drugs he has are stolen from Linus’s stashes around the valley. So yes he will give you drugs, but you just don’t know who it’s from. If you are fine with risking getting caught with somebody else’s drugs that have been second-hand stolen, then go right ahead! Dwarf’s got you!

#21: Pam

I feel as this is self-explanatory, Pam has drugs, she gets them from Harvey, but she much rather join you for drinks than for drugs. She has them, but I think what’s left of Pam’s moral standing wouldn’t exactly feel 100% okay giving a 20-something year old hard drugs (not that she knows what Penny does when she isn’t around). You’d still have a great night, it just wouldn’t be drugs.

#20: Professor Snail

Article’s right again, that Snail man totally survived off of magic mushrooms inside that caves. If you ask him for drugs, he would just shakily point a finger towards the mushroom caves.

#19: Willy

I think Willy would be a complicated man, I don’t think he would do drugs, but I think he wouldn’t care if you did them, maybe he would oversee the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. At most would do a bong with you while night fishing, but he wouldn’t go apeshit like anybody else, so that’s a plus. 

#18: Kent

“He was in the war!” Bitch so? If you offered that guy some relief from the constant trauma, he would pay off your mortgage. He doesn’t have any drugs on his person because Jodi’s like a personified drug dog but also a bitch. But he does have some stashes around the valley, not very good spots though, considering that Linus took all of them. I think it’s worth noting that when high, Kent will reveal every piece of traumatic information he has from the war, which makes him an integral member of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. Because no circle can go without a traumatized adult man!

#17: Granny Evelyn

Granny was the coolest kid in town back in ye olden days, she had anything and everything. Too bad she gave up on it after she married George and took in Alex. Despite all of that, she does have some likely-dead contacts for you if you are interested in whatever the hell Granny was into back in the days.

#16: Sam

Sam is besties with both Sebastian and Abigail, both of which have access to drugs through their respective sources. Despite being down the line a decent bit, Sam has got some shit that even his bloodhound of a mother can’t find, that guy grew up lying to his mom. Anyway, Sam is pretty chill to hang around, he’ll probably talk about music and video games the entire time, but a lot of people are into that stuff, so he’s a pretty good guy to chill with. However, the time it takes between him getting drugs from Sebastian or Abigail then using up a week’s supply is very short, so you must act fast if you want a chance to be with Sam.

#15: Lewis

You’re telling me that the mayor of a town consisting of 24 other people gives enough tax money in order to build a SOLID GOLD STATUE of himself? This statue is solid gold! Not laminated! That either took years to establish, or the guy has a secret drug empire. And I think it’s the latter. Lewis totally buys the drugs from Qi, then sells it at an astronomical price to the Governor. Yeah, the Governor. Why do you think Lewis smooches him up every year at the Luau! Lewis has drugs and is willing to sell it to you, so he can build another solid gold statue of himself, but it’s so pricey that it’s not worth it. Another governmental secret to take to the grave… Yippee. 

#14: Alex

Alex is probably willing to do anything to go pro, including taking steroids. Those books that he never reads but are never dusty? Yeah, there’s a big ass stash behind there. He’s willing to share if you’re a dude and give the ‘right’ reason why you want them (sports rather than anything else logical for a farmer). But if you’re a girl good luck, the misogyny runs strong within him until you kind of send him on a character arc.

#13: Shane

He’s stealing from Marnie, that much is obvious, dude’s so broke from spending his money on alcohol that he has none left for drugs. It’s not like Marnie is going to tell him to stop, so he has free rein of Marnie’s stash. If you get him drunk enough first, then he’s surprisingly willing to join you. Just note that he will drop all his traumas and life story on you, Shane will become an integral member of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. 

#12: Elliot

Consider the daily struggle of writers and consider how Elliot can actually write a good book that fast… Drugs, obviously. You see, very few people could have the patience to speak like Shakespeare on a daily basis and somehow still make it understandable to the average Joe, AND still hold the best hair in the Valley (fight me). In fact, I’m bold enough to say that nobody has the patience to do all of that, the obvious answer is a constant influx of magic mushrooms provided by Leah. The main difference between the two is that Leah is more likely to show you all the good spots for forage, Elliot will straight up hand it to you as some poetic declaration of love. 

#11: Gil

After living a long time and serving the Adventurer’s Guild for so long, I think Gil would have to do something to pass the long hours of sitting around. So, despite Marlon’s protests, he snorts skeleton bone crack. Is Gil isn’t out of his mind of skeleton crack then he’s totally get you some, you just have to catch him at the right time (before 2pm, good luck).

#10: Abigail

Abigail has full access to Caroline’s ‘tea’ garden, unlike Pierre, and she has access to whatever the hell Sebastian has on him at any time. So she’s got plenty of people to send you to and plenty of drugs to share. Overall, Abigail is a solid choice to go to, and she’d be cool to hang with as well. Maybe just don’t go to the mines with her to snort crack because nobody needs another grave hanging around the cemetery that Abigail can no longer visit.

#9: Linus

While we are collectively unsure of the reason Linus decided to live out in the wild and cosplay a caveman, I can obviously determine that the man has so much planted around the valley. Weed? Oh yeah, that’s at the train tracks behind the bath house, nobody bothers to go up beyond that point! Cocaine? He talks to the travelling trader a lot. You name it, he has it. He’s also friends with the wizard, which should be enough proof in the first place. The only reason he’s ranked here is that everybody else is practically on par with him. 

#8:  Emily

As long as you are fine with spiritual shit and dancing, then Emily is the person you should go to. I mean, at least Emily isn’t like some of those weird spiritual people that you can sometimes meet, she’s just cool and into crystals and their meanings. Anyway, Emily is cool, would hit you up with whatever she’s got, and you would probably learn about crystals more than you should? 8/10 experience, would go again.

#7: Caroline

That tea cutscene? That greenhouse? Married to Pierre? Yeah, Caroline is not just growing tea in that greenhouse of hers. She is absolutely willing to share because her only friend is Jodi, and we already covered her drug dog tendencies. Also, being married to Pierre is already hell on earth, so she will take anything that she can get (this includes a friend). Should I mention that she totally had a fling with the wizard? Who would totally hand out drugs at any given moment for a solar essence? Yeah, Caroline is cool, and she is a great candidate to ask for drugs and hang with.

#6: Leah

Let’s face it, there is no way in hell that Leah wasn’t high while making that statue, yeah, that one. Also, she just forages around for her food on a daily basis, I wouldn’t be surprised if she came across one of Linus’s stashes. Also, she would hand around Linus and do magic mushrooms, fall in the valley is the best season for them after all. She will show you all the best spots, her favourite is the cliff wall behind the Wizard’s tower where all sorts of weird shit grows. It’s best not to ask the origins of it, only how high it will make you.

#5: Krobus

C’mon, you just know that he has drugs down in that sewer, he probably provides come cool stuff to the Wizard to experiment with every now and again. Also, if you are roommates with him, you will also get the experience with hanging around with the coolest creature around. 10/10, always go to Krobus.

#4: Birdie

The fairy dust is not the only thing that is magical about Birdie, her island based drugs are astronomical. She has access to things that very few can even bother to search for, go to Birdie to have a riveting conversation about the sea while being high as fuck.

#3: Sebastian

Sebastian buys primarily from Qi, in fact, he’s Qi’s best buyer, so it’s obvious that he has stuff on hand, and he’s willing to hand stuff out as well. The thing that makes Sebastian so high on the list in comparison to others is the fact that, like Linus, he has everything. Go to Sebastian, any angsty rants about his stepdad and wanting to leave the Valley will be worth anything that Sebastian has got from Qi. 

#2: Wizard

In your very first cutscene with this guy, you get handed some forestry concoction that could totally be considered a drug. The shit this guy has is phenomenal, and he is willing to give it out as long as you have a couple void essence to spare as repayment. Any failed potions or concoctions are being chucked out the window into the concerning lack of wildlife in the valley, all for Leah to watch crazy ass mushrooms to grow then snort them. 

#1: Mr Qi

Where do you think Sebastian’s getting the drugs? Qi runs an empire much larger than Lewis’s statues, Pierre’s money hounding, and Joja’s corporation desires would ever think of having. Qi is the sole reason why Stardew is still holding a half decent economy before you started mass-producing starfruit wine. If you want any kind of drug, you go to Qi, he’s got you covered. 

Bonus: Hat Mouse

Hat Mouse is cool, go to hat mouse. Hat mouse has drugs.

---

And that's a wrap! I hoped you found as much fun in this as I did for the past 2 months when I found time, and I guess the real questions are:

Who would you go to for drugs in the Valley?

Should I post this to my ao3 for shits and giggles?

[mutantninjamidlifecrisis]

Your 23!!!!!???? I’m also 23??!!!!!

Dude; how the hell did you get so good at writing/pos/affectionate

What are your secrets and tips??

Oh wow this got longer than I thought it would be but anyway lets kick this off by saying age is no number! Don’t ever feel like you’re too young/old to start/improve. Also take any advice I give here with a grain of salt! I’m a stem major, I specialise in Zoology, not English. I’ve never taken a writing class, this is just what I've found works from my own experience and also from talking with other people that write fics.

I think first up, have a concept that you deeply, deeply love - an idea that you want to see so bad you’re willing to remove it from your brain and write it down onto a page. This is harder than it sounds.

There are two types of writers, I think. Type One – the people that want everything structured and figured out before they begin, and then there’s Type Two - the others that go: Fuck it, we ball, and type out the story without a plan and let it fly by the seat of their pants. Both styles have their pros and cons. Sometimes when your story is too structured and you’re trying to drive through plot points the story can feel very stiff and rail-roady, like you’re trying to play out certain beats rather than letting the narrative go where it would naturally flow. But sometimes letting the story flow without a plan for long enough means you get lost in it, and it never actually come to an overarching message or end point (i.e., it can get very wish-washy, and parts you want to really hit are less likely to because you haven’t had a pre-established plan leading up to it). You’ll probably naturally lean one way or the other, but I think both these styles can and should be interchangeable when you’re in the process of writing a story. I think having a good structure is particularly important the longer your fic is. The way I usually do things is to have a loose structure set out (typing out dotpoints of what I want to achieve from a chapter and the sequence of events that will play out, and keeping this as a reference during the writing process), and then let myself go wild with everything else in between (probably how I end up with 10k+ chapters. Which. Is not advisable, I think 2-7k is a much more reasonable number).

You might also want to have in mind how long your story is going to be and how much time you’re willing to put into writing it before you start <- (CJ has many sadly abandoned wips because they lost sight of where the story was going and didn’t plan out their time schedule appropriately) I try to plan ahead and have some vague idea of where I want the story to end. This helps a lot with motivation when writing.

If you’re able to write out a one-shot, I would highly recommend it. I tend to really like writing multi-chapter fics because the brainrot gets to me and I have no impulse control.

Once you have your concept and your loose structure (start, middle, climax, end), you’re going to want to expand on things. i.e. what are you trying to say with your story. What are the themes that really hit for you. What scenes are going to make you go absolutely feral (you can write these first, if you want). I’ve got a scene a chapter or two ahead that I already have in mind that’s going to make me go insane, and that’s the carrot at the end of the stick that’s pulling me through areas that I don’t want to write so much.

I also have like, sheets for each character with a list of dotpoints relating to their background, motivations, feelings towards other characters and how these dynamics may evolve over time etc. This is a really useful resource to flip back to when I’m writing.

Research, research, research. Google, read, watch videos. Expand on the stuff that you do not know, or stuff that you do know and want to expand upon (for example, I have had a panic attack before. I can write from experience of what that is like, however I do not know what it’s like from other’s perspectives, and they may have completely different symptoms to my own). The more information you’re able to gather, the more believable and interesting the story is going to be to the reader.

Do Not. I repeat. Do NOT write that you are a new writer/sorry im bad at summaries <- that kind of stuff in your fic description if you’re going post to ao3. I know it is tempting. I have imposter syndrome and the urge to lower people’s expectations before they jump in is very strong, but you gotta at least pretend to be confident. The summary is for marketing yourself and convincing people to give you a chance. You can add that stuff to the author’s notes if you’d really like. People will usually be willing to give you a shot even if you think you’re summary is bad. And often your writing is a lot better than you think it is (after having stared at it for hours). Also, the more you write and post, the better you will get.

I guess the only other advice is uh… Read! Read a lot. I don’t read nearly as much non-fanfiction as I should, but I am constantly reading, and I do believe that there's some non-published stuff out there that's a lot better than "official" books or whatever. There’s so many amazing authors out there – fic writers or no, and there's always going to be someone (probably a lot of someones) better than you. Don't be discouraged by that! Keep in mind the kind of stuff that really affects you, and how the writer got you to that point.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten/left stuff out here so if you ever have more questions feel free to ask. Also google is your friend! There’s so many incredible resources out there that can teach you how to write/structure/improve your story.

Most importantly, have fun with it. You’re not getting paid; you don’t owe anyone anything. If you’re not enjoying yourself, what’s the point?

[violetlunette]

oooo 10 / 25 / 30 for the writer asks!!

Referring to this!

10: Top three favorite fic tropes

Hmm! So many… But the three that come to mind first are--

*Recently, I’ve been into the “rescue mission” trope. I love seeing the build up of emotions, the whump factors for the person needing rescuing, seeing the protectiveness of the rescuer, and the comfort that comes after. And the best part? The emotions are still there whether it's platonic or not!

(Just for fun, Lilia coming to save his boys!)

(Okay, that's more of an Ortho MAlleus thing, but I digress!)

*angst with a happy ending; something I picked up from old 80s movies that I used to watch with with my folks. (Fun fact: Indiana Jones and the Lost Arc was rated PG that means the face melting scene was deemed okay for kids as long as a parent was there.)

*Do AUs count? I’m counting them anyways. I love fantasy aus! Urban, supernatural, pirate--shut up they count!--fairytales, RPG—you name it! These have all the elements I like and situations/plots I love to place characters in. I love quests, the villain who knows how to villainize, the treasure, dragons, the mystery, the magic, and more.

25: Is writing the whole thing beforehand better or worse than writing it as you go?

Definitely the former for me! I tried the latter with my Runaway story and while writing as I went held a lot of perks, it also meant that scenes repeated themselves, there was plot holes, and out of no where solutions. I prefer having everything written so I can have a posting schedule, patch the plot holes, and make sure the characters aren’t repeating themselves.

The down side to doing that is occasionally I’ll spend a long time writing a story that ends up not getting the attention I want which is depressing as I used to write 25 chapters that often had had over 5000 words per chapter, so that was a kick in the gut.

(However, I should have known better as it was a rare pair fic.)

30: Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

Again, so many! I have so many plot bunnies but not all of them grow so I have to shoot them otherwise they just take up room on my PC.

One story I had was for TWST where I did a version of Demon Slayer with Silver in the role of Tanjiro and Lilia as Nezuko. It was supposed to follow Silver’s journey to turn Lilia back to normal while feral dad protected his bby boy, even getting territorial.

(Lilia even though he didn't remember Silver)

I was also going to write a NajMalleus story that was Aladdin meets Cinderella, but then I learned that Najma was 14, so halted the presses on that.

(Shame, as I think having them as a couple would be interesting for all involved. Oh well!)

Thank you so much for the ask! I'm willing to do more of these if anyone wants to send more numbers!

[boasamishipper]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

you're so prolific I want to make you pick 5 😈

how can you ask me to choose Only Five.......this is like asking me to choose a favorite child.......

The Stars Walk Backward (Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Finn/Rey)

this fic contains everything i wish the sequel trilogy had given me: luke training finn and rey, reysky, endgame finnrey, queer poe dameron (as well as a plethora of other queer characters), kylo ren actually being a villain, a finn-centric main storyline, a stormtrooper rebellion, etc etc etc. it remains one of my more complicated multi-chaps (see: all the plot points i made myself juggle), and though i will forever be angry about the direction the sequel trilogy took, this fic will always have a special place in my heart.

Make A Wrong One Right (Top Gun, Iceman/Maverick, Maverick&Goose)

[stefon snl voice] this fic has everything. time travel. magical realism. heavy angst. gratuitous back to the future references. ice and mav's conversation in ch2 remains my all-time favorite scene i have ever written for them.

Word on the Street (Top Gun, Iceman/Maverick, Outsider POV)

in which a handsome navy pilot moves into the neighborhood and the real housewives of fallon, nevada, promptly go feral - even more so when none of them can seem to agree on what the handsome navy pilot looks like. this was my first time writing outsider pov, and i had an absolute blast doing so. sharon markowe my short jewish queen 2kforever.

You Had Me At Aloe (Top Gun, Iceman/Maverick, pre-Rooster/Phoenix/Fritz)

fritz may have gotten exactly Zero lines in top gun: maverick which is sad but Also that means that my headcanon of him as amy santiago trapped in the body of jason mendoza is not jossed!! hurray!! while i loved writing fritz being a Mess and the number one iceman kazansky stan on base and playing off bradley and phoenix (as well as sick!mav confusing bradley for goose), this fic makes the top five faves list solely because of this exchange:

Fritz buries his face into a wad of toilet paper and wails. “I told my hero he looked like a plant!” There’s a long pause. Fritz can hear Phoenix whispering part of an explanation. “Well,” Bradley says at last. “In your defense, he kind of does.” “That doesn’t make it better!”

For A Minute There I Lost Myself (Ted Lasso, Nate Shelley-centric)

you know, during the hiatus i was pretty proud of myself for coming up with this version of nate's s3 arc, and after s3 dropped i was even more proud of myself because Boy Howdy is 'nate grows into himself as a coach for west ham, bonds with his players, stands up to rupert, and mends fences with ted, who also apologizes to him' a more compelling storyline than whatever the fuck jason sudeikis and co gave us. goddamn.

bonus 5 faves because i can:

When I See Your Light Shine (Ted Lasso) - In which Sam matches with Dani on Bantr instead of Rebecca, and the rom-com of the ages ensues. Part 1 of a series.

Austin Alone (9-1-1: Lone Star) - In which Owen and Billy become friends with benefits after the reopening of the 126. Co-written with my bestie @lilalbatross.

and it was not your fault but mine (Ted Lasso) - In which Jamie learns that forgiveness is not the same thing as trust, and Sam gets some agency back.

Many Happy Returns (No Exchanges or Refunds) (What We Do In The Shadows TV) - In which it is Colin Robinson's birthday.

'cause a cat's the only cat (who knows where it's at) (Top Gun, Captain Marvel) - In which Maverick and Iceman's alien cat has alien kittens. Part 8 of my TG Captain Marvel AU series.