#the thing that kept me hooked on the books is the writing style and the character moments

[charleslovemustdie]

it's so funny to me that a lot of people only know the vampire chronicles books by the TVL intro. like those books do have a lot of things to criticize but the general prose is good lestat is just like . that

[yandere-kokeshi]

hello! good day to you, I'm reading all your spiderverse works and i'm hooked! Can I request yan! hobie brown x nerdy reader, like the reader loves manga, books, and animes :) thank you and love your writing!

Warnings: yandere behavior and talks about stealing

A/N: this idea is to my heart, we love Hobie <33. Thank you for requesting! Please enjoy!

He often visits you, coming into your universe, swinging to your apartment(and room!), and finding a bunch of posters, books, and possibly action figures. He’s the type of guy to see if you’ll get annoyed if he messes with them. Nonetheless of what you think, Hobie is chill about the whole thing.

“Ya’ such a bookworm. I find it quite cute, to be honest. Keep doin’ you, I’d love to join ya’ activities sometime.”

This punk will tease you all the time. There’s no escape from his words and teaseful tone of voice as he comments about what you’re doing, yet again.

More often than not, Hobie will watch anime with you, commenting on some of their fighting styles or unique clothing - he especially loves the ‘grunge’ type of anime characters.

He’s more than happy to spoil you, buying you a whole bunch of packs of manga you've wanted but never gotten the money/or time to buy, getting you rare posters that are only sold for a limited time, and making sure to get you signed signatures of books from the author’s.

If you ask him if he stole them? Maybe, but who cares? It's for you and the will to see you smile is better. Sure, you can yell at him - but he’ll roll his eyes and say something along the lines: “But, I didn’t get caught, yah?”

To be honest. Hobie loves that you’ve found something you like and have kept at it, regardless of what people say.

If people decide to make fun of you, get ready for Hobie to not only get incredibly rude and violent - he'll get mean, getting into the person face and threatens them.

On late Sunday nights, he loves to lay with you - spending his time tuning his guitar beside you as you read, sometimes leaning over to see what you're doing before kissing your cheek; making sure to blow into your neck teasingly.

—

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© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[statustemporary]

and we'll put on a show

SUMMARY: “I get everyone else doesn’t want to go back, I get it. It’s nice being together and having the comfortable mattress and soft pillows and literal palace. But, actually, no, you know what unsettles me the most about being here?” she rants one day while she paces her bed chambers. Hook casually lays on the chaise lounge under the window, spearing grapes with his hook before sliding them off with his mouth, a sight that becomes more and more dangerous the more she sees it. His shirt is unbuttoned to a staggering degree and his chest hair is more of a distraction than she ever thought such a thing could be.

“Ogres? Flying monkeys? Genies?” Hook offers without any real thought.

|| Emma didn't mean to alter Pan's curse. She just wanted to keep her family together. The Enchanted Forest is interesting and all, but it would've been great if her alterations kept them together in Storybrooke where there's hot showers and a McDonalds just past the town line.

RATING: Teen

WORD COUNT: 6,572 words

TAGS: Captain Swan, Fluff, Humor

AO3

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this was going to be a quick, fun, ridiculous kind of one-shot and here we are 6k+ later. also, apparently i have 187 different writing styles so i call this one "no backstory necessary".

sorry not sorry for what you're about to read.

heh :)

***

When Pan’s curse was coming and Emma tapped into her deep well of highly untrained, incredibly powerful, and equally chaotic magic, she didn’t know what to expect. All that had been on her mind was staying together – her, Henry, her parents, Regina, Neal, Hook… She didn’t care how it happened or where they were, all she focused on was not being left alone again.

Wish magic, Mother Superior had told her when the smoke dissipated and they were all in the Enchanted Forest. Wish magic is already powerful but paired with your magic, and the wish magic in your heart, it is something I’ve never seen before.

The prospect was daunting. As if being the Savior wasn’t enough, every time she turned around, she had more power than before and even less of a mind on how to use it.

It would’ve been nice if her magic worked well enough to keep them in Storybrooke with hot showers and cars and food already meal prepped. Instead she’s back to chomping on chimera when she’d kill for a bear claw or some Pringles.

“I get everyone else doesn’t want to go back, I get it. It’s nice being together and having the comfortable mattress and soft pillows and literal palace. But, actually, no, you know what unsettles me the most about being here?” she rants one day while she paces her bed chambers. Hook casually lays on the chaise lounge under the window, spearing grapes with his hook before sliding them off with his mouth, a sight that becomes more and more dangerous the more she sees it. His shirt is unbuttoned to a staggering degree and his chest hair is more of a distraction than she ever thought such a thing could be.

“Ogres? Flying monkeys? Genies?” Hook offers without any real thought.

“Wait. Genies are real too?!”

“Is there anything about this realm that doesn’t surprise you, Swan?”

Emma groans and stomps over to her bed, falling back onto it and letting her legs dangle off the side. Her trousers ride up her backside in the most uncomfortable way but she’s too focused on her frustration to bother fixing it. The clothes in the Enchanted Forest are surprisingly soft and durable with even more flexibility than she’s used to. But she misses jeans and sometimes she wants to wear a nice heel that makes her ass look great and gives her an extra two inches of height. The ball gowns are definitely not her thing, at least not the first fifteen dresses that resembled more puff balls than evening wear. The red dress that her mother pulled out for her though – that is an exception.

“Ugh, what really pisses me off is I’ll never know if the last Game of Thrones book ever gets finished and I’ll never know if Derek dies and I won’t get to watch the new Star Wars trilogy with Henry.”

Hook sits up, eyebrows raised high. “Who is Derek?”

Emma groans again and covers her face with her hands. “I can’t even complain to you because you don’t know.”

“It would be helpful if you explained it to me, love.”

His words are soft and gentle and the verbal equivalent of him offering a hand to stand up. It makes her shiver in a way that reminds her of when she was in middle school and Zackary Theed kissed her behind the bleachers when they should’ve been running the mile. The excitement of something so innocent and sweet.

Leaning up on her elbows, she catches the quick glance of Hook’s eyes on the sliver of stomach her shirt exposes with her movements. When his eyes meet hers a moment later, he smirks but holds back the usual heat, giving her his undivided attention.

The dynamic between herself and Hook has been… interesting, to say the least. Especially with the entirety of Storybrooke’s impromptu return to the Enchanted Forest. Her parents, as much as she loves them – because she is accepting that she’s starting to love them – are overwhelming. They’re trying to be comforting and supportive but they’re so excited to finally live this life with her that they’ve always imagined. They’ve talked of balls and suitors and learning to rule when all Emma wants is a nap and some alcohol.

Henry is taking everything in stride, happier than he’s ever been in all the time she’s known him. Not only does he have both moms in the same palace but he also has his dad, a whole stable of horses to choose from, and archery and sword fighting lessons are part of his curriculum now. All in all, it’s every kid’s fantasy come to life and he hasn’t thought once about Storybrooke.

Emma wishes she could say the same but she didn’t grow up here. This isn’t who she is and finding a happy medium to settle at gets more and more exhausting by the day.

She spent her first week in the castle putting her feelers out and trying to gauge the reaction to the town’s sudden relocation. While some townspeople missed the conveniences of Storybrooke, many of them were happy to be home.

Hook kept himself sparce during that first week. Not only did he want to give Emma time with her family and to begin to acclimate but he also needed to find his ship. She wasn’t sure if he’d come back once he got it. His confession in the Echo Caves and their exchange at the town line laid heavy on her mind and played in circles when she tried to sleep the first few nights. He had been honest from the start and never pushed her to reciprocate his feelings. Feelings which, though he might not believe it, are there.

But the pirate spent centuries on the sea and she doesn’t know, when it comes down to the sea or her, who the more satisfying temptress is.

It was during Hook’s absence that stretched from one week to three that Emma accepted her feelings for him ran deeper than pure attraction. She’d find herself in meetings with the council, looking around for his face only to not find it. A comment would slip just under her breath and his resulting chuckle was nowhere to be found. Loneliness crept over her shoulders like a rolling fog.

Everyone else here had… someone. And once again, Emma did not. Henry bounced around between all his parents and was doted on endlessly by everyone, and her parents divided their time with her and their many duties. Even the friends she made in Storybrooke didn’t feel like they were still hers as they fell back into the roles of councilors and advisors for the crown.

Then Hook came back after three weeks with his ship in the harbor and a bottle of spiced rum from a far-off land for them to share in secret and she felt the loneliness ebb away bit by bit. Rum wasn’t the only thing he returned with. No, he had bundles of fabrics and clothes from the far reaches of the realm and trinkets like seashells for her and Henry to use to replace their cell phones.

He promised her at the town line with a curse coming for them that a day wouldn’t go by that he didn’t think of her. The curse never came but the promise stayed true, his acquisitions showed.

Even now, as they lounge in her bed chambers in the high tower of the castle, his attention remains solely on her. The thought makes her cheeks warm and his gaze, when she meets it, churns a longing low in her stomach.

“Derek is from a television show called Grey’s Anatomy and it’s been rumored he might die this season but I’ve been so far behind that I don’t even know if he did and now I never will!” she groans. The lid has been lifted and now she can’t stop even as she watches Killian’s eyebrows rise higher and higher. “The new Star Wars movie coming out this year was supposed to be a special thing for me and Henry to do together and now we can’t even do that! We used to watch Brooklyn 99 and Law & Order: SVU and reruns of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air together because those were our things but now we don’t have a thing! How do I compete with sword fighting and horses and freaking Robin Hood?!”

“You can always bring the lad to the beanstalk.”

She bites back the urge to say the beanstalk is theirs and instead shakes her head. “I want something we can do where one of the potential risks isn’t plummeting to our deaths.”

Killian smirks and stabs another grape. “I did prevent your fall, love.”

Not quite, she thinks to herself before the thought immediately overwhelms her and she feels her walls reinforcing themselves. She likes Killian, like-likes him and all that grade school crush stuff. But she doesn’t love the guy. Their friendship is still on new ground having only become allies in Neverland. And that kiss…

That kiss is as indescribable now as it was then and her hand twitches in an ache to touch her lips at the memory.

Attraction and chemistry burning red hot is what exists between them. But love? No way.

Emma sits up as straight as the walls she’s reassembled around her heart. “You also hit me in the head with your hook.”

“You survived, didn’t you?”

I might not.

“The point is, while this move to the Enchanted Forest is great and all, we all get to be a…” she struggles to find the right word. Family should be easy to say but she’s still struggling on that front. Mary Margaret and David still don’t quite understand but they’re trying. She’s just not there yet. Emma swallows. “A unit. But this wasn’t my life and I just miss some of that stuff from the real world.”

Killian pauses in his grape escapade and eyes her carefully. “The world is just as real here as it was in your realm.”

Emma sighs and rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Would you have stayed?” he asks after a moment of silence. “If you had the choice between Storybrooke and the Enchanted Forest – would you have stayed in Storybrooke?”

“What does it matter?” she says. “I didn’t have a choice.”

His tone edges on sad but he tries to keep it neutral, interested. “Humor an old pirate.”

“I don’t know, okay? There’s a lot that answer depends on.”

Hook eyes her. “What does it depend on?”

“A lot of things!” she fights back. He presses the question again and Emma erupts from her spot on the bed, angry that he won’t let this go, and starts to pace. “Things like where Henry would be, where my parents would be, where you –”

She cuts herself off fast, eyes wide and heart pounding through her chest. Hook stands slowly from his spot on the chaise and licks his lips in anticipation.

“Emma –”

“Mom!”

Henry comes barreling in the open door of her bedroom like a force of nature. Hair windswept and toothy grin on his face, Emma’s always glad to see her son so joyful but especially now when his appearance offers her an escape. “Hey, kid. What’s got you so happy?” She smiles softly at him while ignoring the holes Hook burns into the side of her head.

“I want to show you what Grandma taught me during archery today. It’s so cool, you have no idea.” It’s easy to agree to her son’s request and she moves to follow him out the door when he stops and turns to her companion. “Hook, do you want to check it out too? I bet you probably haven’t seen this in the last 300 years.”

The pirate in question must read the panic on Emma’s face and smiles sadly at Henry, coming close enough to drop his hand on the kid’s shoulder. “Unfortunately I have some business to attend to but if you don’t mind, I’d like to watch another day.”

“Aye, aye, capt’n!” Henry grins, salute and all, before he tugs Emma’s hand out the door. “Come on, we’re losing daylight and you won’t be able to see it in the dark!”

She feels the ghost of Hook’s fingers brushing her arm but she doesn’t look back.

*

Emma skillfully avoids Hook for just over two weeks. In all honesty, he might even be avoiding her with how little she’s seen him around the palace. Then again, she’s thrown herself wholeheartedly into learning her parents’ duties for the kingdom.

But then his ship is gone from the harbor and David has suddenly taken up Mary Margaret’s pastime of sending birds with notes so all evidence points to him leaving. Not that she blames him, no, after all, everyone leaves her eventually. Their relationship is confusing enough for her, she can only imagine he’s gotten fed up with her walls stacking themselves higher with every step forward.

Still, she thought his words before the curse would’ve lasted a little longer than this.

Loneliness sneaks up on her quick but this time she welcomes it with open arms. She has no right to Hook’s heart, not when she keeps pushing him away and hurting him. No sane man would stick around for more of that torture. No sane man has that kind of patience.

Then again, he did stay alive for over 300 years to exact vengeance on his enemy.

Nevertheless, the chaise in her bedchambers stays empty and all she has to rely on is the memories of his mouth fitting perfectly against hers in Neverland and how his breath puffed against her cheek and the absolute fuckstruck expression on his face as he was ready to dive in for more before she put a stop to it. His innuendos and never-ending confidence in her abilities echo inside her mind in the silence of her room and his presence haunts the halls as she leaves enough space to her left for where he would’ve walked.

The first time she lays eyes on him after she ran out of her room is nearly four weeks later and she only catches a glimpse of him from afar.

His ship isn’t in the harbor, that much she knows. Her bedchambers have the perfect set of windows to overlook the water and she’d lie if anyone asked but her morning routine has consisted of checking each ship docked below.

That doesn’t have to mean much, she rationalizes. His ship could be out in the water and he took a dingy to shore so he could make an easy getaway. Afterall, he did leave on the Jolly Roger four weeks ago without a single farewell to her.

Whatever the reason for his probable short stint back in Misthaven, David greets him far from spying eyes and listening ears. Even the roll of her wrist and warmth of magic bubbling in her palm does nothing to reveal the secret conversation between the two men as they travel far from the castle.

They don’t return for hours, which piques her interest. One thing she’s learnt about David, especially since coming to the Enchanted Forest, is that dinner is a requirement for all. To miss dinner means you better be sick or dying. So for the man of the hour to miss the meal completely and for Mary Margaret to not raise a single eyebrow at his absence has her mind whirling.

Emma corners David later that night when he sneaks to the kitchens for a midnight snack. Her nerves have been unsettled all evening and she falls back into her typical stakeout habits which includes eating terrible food while lying in wait for her prey. Of course it’s the Enchanted Forest though and junk food consists of a few sweets and maybe bread.

God, she misses McDonalds.

David jumps in fright when he spots her at the prep island in the main kitchen. He smiles tiredly a few moments later, steals some bread, swipes her butter knife, and closes his eyes contently as he eats.

“Are the ogres angry? Are they going to start another war?” she finally blurts out when the wait gets too long and the silence eats at her center. “Did you send Hook to prepare the troops?”

Silence answers her at first. David looks at her in confusion before a deep understanding settles so serenely on his face that Emma’s instinct is to run. Instead, she swallows it down and focuses on the part of her being nagged by Hook’s abrupt absence and silent return recently.

Shaking his head in amusement, David says, “Everything is peaceful here. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“So where did you send Killian?”

“Killian?” David replies, eyebrows raised but his amusement not flagging in the slightest. He looks like he wants to talk, or maybe just tease her about her slip-up, but Emma rolls her eyes in return and speaks before he gets a chance.

“So where did you send Hook?”

“I didn’t send him anywhere.”

She presses, barely able to keep the frustration out of her voice. “Then where did he go?”

The air in the kitchen shifts. There’s a prickling starting on the back of Emma’s neck and her senses go on alert as David gives her his full and undivided attention.

“Since when have you started caring where Killian goes in his free time?”

She fumbles. Her mouth refuses to function and her brain can barely think of a coherent response. “I – I don’t.”

“Mhmm…”

David’s stare bores holes into the side of her head as she darts her gaze elsewhere. She feels like she just got caught lying by her father which… she guesses is accurate on all accounts. Even if the admission is only to herself, her stomach clenches uncomfortably and her throat dries.

When did she start to see Killian – Hook – as someone to care about? Was it when he turned his ship around and brought them to the one place he swore he’d never return to just to help her save her kid? Was it their kiss, hot and heavy under the humid jungle leaves, a magnetic connection that called to each other so strongly it took a herculean effort for her to walk away?

Or maybe it was when they were at the town line and he told her he’d think of her every day and, when her magic decided to do its own thing, he stuck by her side. He never asked for more than what she was willing to give, every day learning more and more about her limits, her likes and dislikes. Instead, they found refuge in one another. For as much time as he spent around royals, first under their command then stealing from their stores, he felt as uncomfortable as she did within the palace walls and the pomp and circumstance surrounding it all.

He suddenly became one of the most important people in her life without her even realizing it and the thought takes her breath away.

David gives her a soft smile before stepping up to her frozen frame, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and pulling her close to press a firm kiss to the top of her head. She allows him without a fight, subconsciously leaning into his warmth and fatherly comfort, closing her eyes briefly. His whispers act as a soothing balm to her broken soul. So many breaks, so much pain. Yet his presence begins to fill the cracks.

“It’ll be fine, Emma. Just talk to him.”

She listens to his words, soaking in her father at her side. For once, it’s not overwhelming or uncomfortable. It almost starts to feel like coming home.

*

Of course, because she’s Emma, she doesn’t actually make an effort to talk to Killian the next day. Or the day after that. The conversation that’ll ensue requires courage she’s struggling to find.

Instead, she watches from windows and around corners as he is friendly with Henry and Neal, strikes up long conversations with Granny and Ruby, and even shares in a secret joke with Leroy, clapping the dwarf on his back as they chuckle and grin at each other.

Everyone but her.

He doesn’t even attempt to look for her, doesn’t make an effort to come by her side even after their eyes connect across the courtyard. He merely turns back to his conversation with Marco while Emma pulls Henry closer to her side and continues their walk along the palace grounds.

She refuses to say that jealousy kicks her in the ass to actually do something but when she sees him four days later with that stupidly attractive smirk on his face being directed at Tinkerbelle before Regina joins their secret meeting, she’s had enough. Since he’s clearly too cowardly to approach her, she’ll pull up her big girl panties and do it herself.

It’s not as if she didn’t already know that she’s been running from her own feelings the entire time. Reality only sets in, however, that she’s just as cowardly when she’s strolling down one of the palace hallways and stops short at the sight of him at the other end.

He looks good.

The black leather duster shines from the sunlight streaming through the palace’s stained-glass windows. His dark hair gleams and looks softer than it felt between her fingers in Neverland. Glowing skin, straight back, confident set of his shoulders. The pirate looks like a model at ease in the middle of a clothing commercial, all carefree and beautiful. She bets that if he grins, big and wide and all his pearly whites showing, a fucking sparkle will appear with a quiet DING! to accompany it like a fucking toothpaste ad.

Un-fucking-fair.

Air leaves her lungs at the sight of him and that causes her a delay in retreating. Too substantial a delay, it seems, as Hook chooses that moment to turn on his Emma Radar and look straight at her. His face lights up and he calls out her last name, looking as if the heavens are personally highlighting him with a pitch perfect song.

Seriously?!

She turns on her heel and makes a hasty retreat. She is so not ready for this conversation. If she can even keep it together enough to not pull on that stupid vest – a deep red color that looks to be made of velvet and probably soft to the touch – to drag the pirate into a nearby closet to kiss or kill him. The jury is still out on that decision.

“Swan!” he calls again, rushing to reach her. The cool metal of his hook encircles her elbow and turns her his way. “I’ve been looking all over for you!” he exclaims, relief in his voice and clear in the way his forehead relaxes.

“Really?” She snorts so unladylike she’s sure both Mary Margaret and Regina would be annoyed if they heard. “Because it seems like you’ve been avoiding me since you came back from who knows where.”

“I –” he starts before sighing. “Not exactly.”

Hmph. So he was avoiding her. The truth tugs at her chest in such a painful way that Emma only barely resists the urge to rub at the area over her silk shirt.

“Whatever, Hook.” Anger wraps around his moniker like a hot iron. He can hear it, the slight drop of his head and the glow fading from his features when it’s said, but he doesn’t allow her to run like she so desperately tries. “What?!” she hisses.

“Just come with me, love. I promise, you can be angry and hate me again after but… just let me show you something.”

Hook has only ever looked so earnest once before and her mouth drops open at seeing the sight again. Blue eyes plead with her as his eyebrows raise in encouragement. Emma feels herself nodding before she realizes what she’s doing and suddenly he’s ushering her down the hallway and towards the wide garden space behind the castle.

“I – I don’t hate you,” she says when the silence gets too much for her. Even when they fought on opposite sides and he annoyed her to hell, she never hated him. The thought he could believe such a thing unsettles her to the core. “Just because I’m upset with you doesn’t mean I hate you.”

“Your anger is well deserved. My apologies, love.” He shakes his head, pulling them to a stop before they enter the gardens. Ocean blue eyes stare into her meadow green and her breath hitches as he comes closer. The torches that line the hallway dim as her focus zeroes in on Hook. It’s been a struggle in the past keeping her eyes off of his mouth whenever he deemed personal space to be a nonentity. But this time his gaze keeps her locked in and she doesn’t even dare to blink. “Consider this part of my apology,” he whispers. “Your heart’s desire, Swan. That’s all I want.”

He steps away before she even comprehends the enormity of his statement and pulls her into the gardens.

The wide expanse of grass is freshly trimmed, the smell filling her nostrils and reminding her of summers at foster homes wishing for a family to laze around a backyard with. The flowers and plants that border the gardens are in full bloom offering an array of colors. Red roses, yellow shrubbery, pink Middlemist flowers. She’s been in the gardens a number of times since their latest return to the Enchanted Forest but now the colors seem brighter and more vibrant.

Hook gently presses his namesake to the middle of her back. Emma’s gaze shifts forward at the touch and she chokes out a gasp.

Down the center of the gardens sits a newly built wooden stage. Wide and made of a dark mahogany that sheens under the sunlight, it takes up nearly the entire width of the flat grassy area. Deep red curtains are pulled across the front of it, hiding whatever stands on the stage. They rustle slightly from movement behind it and Emma lets out a soft giggle at the sound of Hook cursing under his breath beside her.

Six rows of chairs divided down the middle face the stage and she recognizes many of the occupants to be folks working within the castle, or the Misthaven townspeople she used to see in passing around Storybrooke. They all greet her with a smile and nod as Emma is guided to a chair in the first row with a nearly center view of the stage.

“What is going on?” she asks Hook as he stands beside her seat. Her head turns on a swivel looking for a hint of what kind of performance they’re about to see.

“Patience is a virtue, love.”

“Seriously?!” she nearly whines, earning a chuckle in response. She huffs, eyeing him with a small upward tilt of her lips before she looks away.

Chatter is quiet behind her but there’s an excitement thrumming in the air. Voices whisper from the stage but they’re too soft for her to listen for any familiar inflections. Instead, she examines the corners of the stage and the gaps in the curtain that appear every few moments.

Her eyes are still soaking in everything around her when Hook drops his duster on the chair beside hers and grins mischievously at her. “Back in a moment.” He winks at her, slow and smooth and so unlike his terrible attempt when they climbed the beanstalk. She bites her lip to keep the grin from exploding on her face.

Hook stands on the wings of the stage with her father as they whisper in a tight huddle. The two of them duck behind the curtain for a moment before Hook exits and strolls back to her side, taking the seat he reserved for himself. Before Emma can fire off her questions, David emerges from between the curtains.

She watches in awe at how her father captures the attention of the crowd, how he spreads his thanks to Marco and Pinocchio for the stage and scenery, to Jaq, Gus, and Blue for the costuming. He leads into enthusiastic applause with each announcement and she finds herself just as enthralled as the rest of the crowd.

“Finally,” David says and Hook tenses beside her. “You all may know him as Captain Hook but I know him as a friend. None of this would be possible without him.” Her father looks at Emma for a long moment before he looks to Hook and she looks on in confusion as tears build in his gaze. “Killian Jones,” he says through heavy emotion and her companion shifts uncomfortably beside her. “I thank you.”

David steps aside and the curtains pull away to show the stage. It looks like a replica of Storybrooke General Hospital but a large banner hung centerstage says Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. The entire set reminds her of Grey’s Anatomy.

And that’s when it hits her. David’s words finally sink in and Emma turns to Hook – Killian – in shock. He avoids her eyes, raising his hook to gently scratch behind his ear as he looks up at the stage from a lowered gaze.

Leroy stomps on stage talking about an urgent medical case and Granny joins him a few moments later. The two of them bicker back and forth in a way that borders on flirty, their voices sounding far away and drifting into her ear, leaving Emma confused for all of a few moments before it’s revealed that they play Derek and Meredith respectively. She probably would’ve laughed at the casting – she never would’ve pegged Leroy for McDreamy but he’s honestly incredible on stage – but her focus is set on the man beside her who organized a fucking theatre troupe so she wouldn’t be left wondering about one of her favorite shows.

“Don’t make all my hard work go to waste, love,” he mumbles, cheeks red as he glances at her before quickly averting his gaze again. He nudges at her thigh with his hook and nods towards the stage. Emma doesn’t even realize her mouth is still hanging open until she tries to swallow and finds her throat dry.

With little else to do, she turns her attention to the stage and is immediately wrapped up in the story they’re telling. It’s clear that someone within the troupe is a hardcore Grey’s Anatomy fan and was clearly all caught up on the show while she fell behind due to Neverland. The mannerisms, the dramatics, the dialogue – all of it makes her feel like she’s actually watching it.

The forty-five-minute performance goes by in a flash and she’s amongst the loudest cheers when the troupe takes their bows. Her grin is wide and it’s nearly impossible to take her attention away from the stage.

Until Killian sticks his fingers in his mouth to give a loud whistle and Emma can look at nothing but him.

The ruthless pirate who has continually proved her wrong. The scoundrel who came back to help her get Henry even if it meant returning to Neverland. The lost soul who promised to think of her every day they were apart, even if that meant forever. The man who listened to her frivolous whining and delivered her all she had wanted for and more.

Killian tries to stay behind to speak with the troupe about some matter or another but Emma grabs him by the hook and pulls him to an alcove in the garden hidden by prying eyes.

“Swan, what’s – ”

She backs herself into the alcove, pulls on his vest, and crashes her lips against his, effectively stopping his sentence. Emma feels his sharp intake of breath before he sighs into the kiss, hand coming up to cradle her head against the stone of the palace. Their mouths move over each other slowly, stroking the heat in their stomachs to a blazing inferno.

When Emma pulls away, they breathe heavily in each other’s space, swaying closer together as their eyes remain shut.

“Thank you,” she whispers, biting on her swollen lip when she finally opens her eyes. His are still shut, a small smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.

“I quite like the way we show gratitude.” He cracks an eye open and grins, her own smile widening to match his.

*

Suddenly they’re courting.

Instead of Netflix & Chill, they have Storybrooke Storytellers & Garden Make-outs. A date night at the movies is equivalent to sitting in the garden as her family reenacts the original Star Wars trilogy, her parents as Han and Leia, Henry proudly swinging a lightsaber as Luke, and Neal fittingly as Darth Vader.

Killian whispers tidbits in her ear during each performance, like how Leroy and Granny fought over who was correct regarding one of their Grey’s Anatomy performances, Leroy winning at the end. “He’s got the bloody show memorized, love. Knows the whole thing front and back. Absolutely obsessed.”

Or how Henry assigned everyone’s roles for Star Wars and how it was unanimously decided that Whale would be the dead victim for their recent rendition of Law & Order: SVU, or even how Killian’s curious about the romantic comedies that Belle has brought to his attention. “The lad wants to do everyone’s fairytales as well,” he says, grin pressed against the back of her neck one afternoon. She laughs at the ridiculous image her son’s aspirations create for her, her soul feeling lighter with every moment.

It’s a little bit of the home she created in Storybrooke, right here in the Enchanted Forest. For a girl who’s searched for that all her life, it makes Emma’s heart race ahead of every performance they watch. No one has ever done something like that for her before and she tells him as much through tears one evening as they look at the stars from her balcony. He holds her close, murmuring sweet nothings into her hair and Emma realizes she wants to give him everything.

“Let’s go to the Jolly,” she says. Her head rests on his chest from their stargazing and she feels him tense under her. Eyebrows pinched together in uncertainty, she tilts her head up to look at him. “If that’s okay with you?”

He shifts uncomfortably, not at all in the way she wants him to be, and her confusion mounts. “There’s no need to go to the Jolly,” he answers with a tight grin.

She rolls her eyes, sitting up from her spot and steadies her focus on him. She says point blank, “I am not having sex with you under the same roof as my parents.” Killian sputters and Emma enjoys rendering him speechless for all of two seconds before doubt creeps in. “Do you not want to?”

At her hesitancy, he surges up to capture her mouth in a kiss that takes her breath away and leaves her dizzy. “There’s nothing more I would like to do right now than take you as you are, wherever you desire.” A growl comes from low in her throat as she threads her fingers in his hair and nips at his bottom lip. She whispers again for him to take her to the Jolly Roger only for Killian to halt everything and pull away with a grimace.

“Killian, what’s going on with you?”

Her pirate ducks his head low to his chest before he gathers the courage to meet her gaze.

“The Jolly Roger is no longer in my possession,” he confesses. A low swoop in her stomach causes her to fumble forward in her haste to press against his side. There’s pain in his eyes, the telltale sign of loss and grief that she knows so well. But it’s small and non-consuming, like a detail of life he just lives with now.

“Did someone destroy her?” she asks after a moment, her touch cautious and her gaze searching. Killian shakes his head.

“No, I – I traded her away.”

Her body is suddenly made of concrete, refusing to move despite her mind screaming at her legs to stop Killian’s restless motions. “Wh-what? Why would you do that?!”

Killian smiles softly then. The pain is miniscule but present even as his gaze softens and he reaches his hand out to cup her cheek. “Your heart’s desire, love. That’s all I want.”

*

Despite the late hour, the moon shines high in the sky and lights their way. Her fingers clutch tightly to his metal appendage, the weight of his admission weighing heavily on her, and she stumbles after him as he leads her to the old farm fields.

The area was abandoned before the Dark Curse, her father told her one time. It suffered from barren soil after years of overuse and needed time to recover. More time than thirty years’ worth offered and yet, as Killian leads them through a gate, the fields are sprawling with greenery. Vines trail along the ground and large leaves the size of their heads sprout so intensely that it’s difficult to see the soil beneath.

“What is all this?” she asks in wonder.

Killian grins and reaches down to pull up the end of one vine, a sparkling, translucent item hanging from it. “Look familiar, love?”

A magic bean glimmers under the moonlight, ripe for the taking. It is just one of what could probably be hundreds if not thousands of beans growing on the vast vines before them.

Amazed, she asks, “How is this even possible?”

She loves this man. Before he even starts to explain everything that’s been happening – taking his ship after their conversation in her bedchambers to trade it with Blackbeard for a magic bean, organizing the troupe to give her what she was missing while they waited for the beans to grow and mature, crafting a way to make the near impossible travel between realms into something as easy as tossing a coin into a fountain – she knows deep in her soul that she loves him.

All consuming, heart racing, fingers thrumming, glowing kind of love.

“Perhaps you can finally show me that Red Lobster you rave about?” he offers cheekily.

Emma huffs out a watery laugh, words abandoning her as she looks around. When her eyes lock on his, she swears he outshines the stars.

“You gave up your ship for me?” she asks quietly, hoping to convey everything she can’t verbalize in the way her hand reaches for his and grips it tight.

You gave up your home for me?

“Aye,” he says, just as simple but just as deeply meaningful, squeezing her hand in return.

You are my home now, Swan.

They come together slowly but the passion igniting between them is stronger than it’s ever been before. Her heart is bursting with so much joy that she could cry and it takes her all to keep the tears at bay, wishing to sink into the kiss forever. Her smile, however, is another story and so is his, as they grin against each other’s mouths more than they kiss.

She loves him and he loves her.

Theirs is the kind of love they write movies and shows about.

Theirs is the kind of love they write fairytales about.

[theinquisitxor]

June 2023 Reading Wrap Up

June was the best reading month I've had in a little while, especially after a couple of 'slumpy' feeling months. I read 9 books this month, as well as started and finished two trilogies. I read mostly fantasy, with 1 literary fiction and 1 nonfiction.

1-3.The Age of Darkness Trilogy by Katy Rose Pool (There Will Come a Darkness, As the Shadow Rises, Into the Dying Light). ~4-5/5 stars per book. This is a series that skyrocketed into a new favorite YA series. These books follow a cast of 5 characters as they try to stop the end of the world. Set in a mediterranean inspired land with gods, paladins, Heirophants, and prophets. This series was so much fun and I really enjoyed my time reading it. YA fantasy, lgbt main romance.

4.The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus 5) by Rick Riordian. 3.5/5 stars. This concluded by reread of the HoO series, and while this particular book isn't by favorite of the series, it was still enjoyable. The Nico and Reyna chapters carried this book tbh. YA/middle grade

5. The Glass Hotel by Emily St John Mandel 5/5 stars. I wasn't sure if I was going to like this novel, but I ended up hooked and completely loving it. Emily Mandel has one of my favorite writing styles, and her ability to craft and weave a story is so talented. Mandel's books are not really happy, not really sad, not really like what I normally read, but are continuously favorites. Literary Fiction.

6.The End of Everything (Astrophysically Speaking) by Katie Mack. This was my nonfiction for the month, and I enjoyed this book about all the ways the universe could potentially end (in the far, far future). It is science-y and technical, but I thought Mack explained things very well. Nonfiction.

7-9. The Poppy War Trilogy by RF Kuang (The Poppy War, The Dragon Republic, The Burning God) ~4/5 stars. I've been meaning to read this series for years now, but never quite thought I was in the right headspace to try and tackle this series. I overall enjoyed it, but maybe not quite as much as I was hoping. I liked the parallels to modern history and the critique of colonialism. This series has lots of action and was very readable, which I think helped me overlook some other issues I think the books/writing has. I also discovered that grim-dark is not really my cup of tea, and I probably won't read any more. Adult grim-dark military fantasy.

My average rating was 4 stars for the books I read this month. It felt good to be able to binge some series and some overall poor weather kept me inside, so I had more time to read in general (plus less busy with work + grad school). I'm hoping July is just as productive and enjoyable of a reading month!

[miareadsbooks]

Fourth wing (Rebecca Yarros) - MY REVIEW

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“A dragon without its rider is a tragedy, A rider without their dragon is dead.”

THIS BOOK. WTF. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS I ACTUALLY DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START!!

If somebody asked me what this book was like, I would simply say “Hunger games meets how to train your dragon.” As there is so many similarities there, and that is the best comparison I could give!!

The world building was super easy to understand, and not all at once, so the information was easy to digest. I was hooked from page 10!!

You can definitely compare the characters to the hunger games!! Violet as Katniss, Xaden as Peeta, Dain as Gale, Mira as Cinna, Jack as Cato, Imogen as clove, and Rhiannon as Joanna!! (There are so many more but I will run out of space haha!!)

I loved Xaden and Violet, but my god did their story kill me. The length of the book was very intimidating, and I didn’t like how long it took for them to even kiss, Never-mind get together! I usually hate slow burns so this was a downer, but the pay off was definitely worth it!!

As well as this, I really disliked Dain as he was such a pick me! He just gave “Pick me, choose me, love me.” vibes every where he went. Especially when he kept repeating “If you won’t leave here for you, at least do it for me.” SIR. YOU ARE A WALKING TALKING ICK. PLEASE JUST STOP. Why can’t you just accept that Violet has to do this? And rather than make her feel guilty and upset, just help her?

The dragons were super cool, And I really enjoyed the overall story, as well as her writing style!! I will definitely be reading a book from her again :)

Despite these few bad things, this book was still a five star read for me!! That ending was incredible and I genuinely loved this book🥰 It also also reminded me why I got into reading. It was a great escape and an overall really fun read!!

[butterbeerandlemoncakes]

Books of 2023

The ABC Murders, Agatha Christie--This is probably one of my favorite Poirot novels. It keeps you on your toes and as always with Agatha Christie, there’s a surprise twist (or two!)

1984, George Orwell--I feel like this is another book that has been lost to the times. When it first came out, I’m sure it was a phenomenal read--it predicts a dystopian future in a surveillance state, which, at this point, maybe hits a little too close to home for some. The ‘big bad’ and scary suggestions for the future in this book are, at this point in our lives, fairly normal feeling, or things that we’ve since in more recent sci-fi novels and tv shows, done bigger and scarier. So, while I’m sure it set up the foundation for which many of these new things were based on, I was fairly bored reading this book, and did not finish it.

Finn Fancy Necromancy, Randy Henderson--This was a fun, light read. It follows the story of a boy who was framed for a crime he didn’t commit, and his journey of discovery after completing his sentence. 

The Diviners, Libba Bray--A supernatural-esque mystery story set in New York in the 1920s? What else can you ask for? This book was actually really good, it had a well rounded set of diverse and interesting characters, and was a good mix of a scary read and a fun read. 

The City We Became, NK Jemisin--This was a really interesting book--it’s hard to explain without giving too much away, but it was a very unique writing style overall, with subtle shifts in narration for when a different character was telling their part of the story. It explored a new concept, I think, in writing and storytelling, which I really enjoyed.

Shadow and Bone, Leigh Bardugo--I’m a bit biased because I saw the show first, but that and a friend convinced me enough to read the book, and I loved it! The TV show stays pretty accurate to this book, at least (I’ve heard it strays from some of the later ones). Although it has some of the typical fantasy YA romance tropes, I still really enjoyed this book, and it had enough new and interesting ideas to keep me hooked and interested in the book. I can’t wait to read the rest of the series!

Moby Dick, Herman Melville--It’s taken me literal years to finish this one because I was reading it on my phone so would read it while riding to work and then forget about it for months on end and then pick it up again. BUT regardless, I really enjoyed it! I can see why a lot of high schoolers hate it, she’s DENSE. There’s a lot of explanation and things that aren’t necessarily plot-related going on in the book, which I enjoy, but I can see why others wouldn’t. Another one that I’d maybe recommend reading the abridged version of, but I really liked it!

Dune, Frank Herbert--Having watched the newest movie beforehand really helped me with this one. It’s a FANTASTIC book, but there are a lot of moving parts, politics, and characters with similar names, that I definitely would have gotten confused and frustrated if I hadn’t have had the movie to base things off of. That being said, would highly recommend reading. A lot times with old sci-fi books like this, they don’t live up to the hype because like, they may have been groundbreaking at the time they came out, but our expectations have risen so much since then. However, for a book that came out in 1965, this one still holds up. It definitely kept me interested throughout the book, which is saying something, because she’s THICK.

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Eveyln Hardcastle, Stuart Turton--This was a really good book with a fresh new take on murder mystery/whodunits. Essentially, the narrator wakes up each day as a new person, reliving the events of the same day over and over again until he can solve the murder. It was a really interesting concept and I thought very well executed.

[wishblown]

To designate a hell is not, of course, to tell us anything about how to extract people from that hell, how to moderate hell’s flames. Still, it seems a good in itself to acknowledge, to have enlarged, one’s sense of how much suffering caused by human wickedness there is in the world we share with others.

— Susan Sontag; Regarding the Pain of Others

November Reads!

Averno by Louise Glück — 5/5: struck by the burning desire to read October and thus also the whole collection again (so much love to you LG) and was obviously not disappointed; how could I be. I already knew I loved this and that it would tend to me. Thank you, LG.

Against Interpretation and Other Essays by Susan Sontag — 4.25/5: even when Sontag is writing about media I’m unfamiliar with this was still so interesting to read, so informative and engaging. I didn’t agree with all her comments, but then, that’s hardly the point. Sontag has a way of arguing her point that is both convincing and thought provoking, guiding you along her argument but not holding your hand too tightly so as to prevent you from coming to your own conclusions.

Unser Deutschlandmärchen by Dinçer Güçyeter — 4/5: German novel about the intergenerational stories and traumas of a Turkish-Greek family, talks about migration, home, patriarchy all in a pretty interesting style, very well told, moving and interesting

You Feel it Just Below the Ribs by Jeffrey Cranor & Janina Matthewson — 5/5: so delicious!!!! this was such an absolute treat! I loved every second reading this and was absolutely hooked to each twist and turn in the story. getting two (!) unreliable narrators in one??? so so good. the style and format of this book as an annotated/commented diary is so perfect and so fitting to the story. I devoured it. I will certainly re-read it but I wanna experience reading it for the first time again. also, alternative history that’s close enough to ours but just kinda off? what a delight; kept things so intriguing and interesting.

Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag — 4.75/5: pretty much what I said in regards to Against Interpretation; Sontag’s narrative voice is simply one of my favourites and this one was great, especially in the context of Illness as Metaphor. will probably re-read in the future as this was so insightful and even moving in parts.

[mitchelldailygames]

2023 Book Round-Up

This is going to be a quick list of some of my favorite books that I read this year. These aren’t books that necessarily came out in 2023 and they’re not in any particular order.

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone OK, this one is in a particular order. It’s my favorite. I read this book twice this year, the first time based on the recommendation of that tweet a lot of people saw. I found it beautiful, and as someone who wants to eventually publish novels, very inspiring. The application of the epistolary style to its sci-fi concept (it is actually set in a time war) made for a compelling and unique feel to the book. The prose were absolutely gorgeous. The way the characters were human and the way they were inhuman was perfect. All of it got me thinking about how my own writing could reach further than I'd considered before.

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir I also read and really enjoyed Nona the Ninth this year, but Harrow was my favorite. The mystery of it all, the intense necromancer action, and the angst all adds up to the perfect Locked Tomb book. And the payoff at the end is so good.

On the Beach by Nevil Shute I read this after watching Jacob Geller’s Art in the Pre-Apocalypse video, and this is the write up that will end up feeling the least like a recommendation. This book messed me up. I read it while fall was tumbling towards winter in the often dreary Pacific Northwest (of the US). This book made me feel like the world was ending. I became immersed in the state of living life while the end drifted closer to the point I kind of started to believe it in real life. I certainly found it compelling in its restrained doom.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers This one is also in a particular order because I read it right after On the Beach and it plucked me right out of my funk. Where the previous book left me feeling like precious few moments were slipping away from me, A Psalm for the Wild-Built said it was OK to just be. This is a beautiful solar punk novella as is its sequel, A Prayer for the Crown-Shy. It presents a possibility for a better world while giving a glimpse into the pathways we can take as individuals to move towards something better (while acknowledging that big changes need to take place on a macro level).

The Difference Engine by Bruce Sterling and William Gibson I tried reading this a long time ago because I was a fan of Gibson’s cyberpunk books and couldn’t get into it. I didn’t have that problem this year. Its steampunk London after the century-early arrival at the computer was very compelling. It fell prey to some tropes I’m not a huge fan of, namely that people in crisis will quickly resort to chaos and violence, but overall it was a story and setting that kept me reading all the way through this time.

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer What a book! I’m currently reading Authority, and I love this brand of weird sci-fi/horror. I watched the movie forever ago, but really enjoyed (and am enjoying) the story that's told in the books. The unraveling of the group and of the biologist was a great read, and it was fun to see cosmic horror in the modern age done really well. The mystery of it all was really the hook of the book, and the things it leaves unanswered was really fitting for the story.

Wolves of the Calla by Stephen King I finished the Dark Tower series this year, but this was my favorite. The doombot bad guys, the way it expanded on the lore, and the gunslinger action were all really cool. The characters were all operating at their peaks in this book, while dealing with some deep, dark secrets, and it felt like it held the best of all the things the series has to offer.

Tell Me I’m Worthless by Alison Rumfitt What a harrowing, powerful, complicated haunted house story this is. I will say this book is not for the faint of heart (and comes with trigger warnings at the beginning of the book), but I was left at the end of the story with the distinct feeling I had read something that would stick with me for a long, long time. It gets into the complicated ways identities interact and the way fascism breeds in societies and individual hearts. There are long sections that slip into disturbing rambles that become less coherent as they go on, which is perfect within the tone of the book. The things that haunt the characters throughout the story add and help give traction to all of these other pieces.

[a-selkie-abroad]

books ive read recently and my thoughts about them

Scythe and it's sequels, Thunderhead, The Toll & Gleanings

makes me want to debate/disscuss alllll off the ethics & morality it touches on. interesting portrayal of AI and exploration of the morality of death. The ending of the series was logical, and I don't think I dislike it, it's just not my thing. Definitely something I wish we'd studied in highschool english back in the day instead of like, the great gatsby. worth a read if you want sci-fi that's not set in space

Raybearer and it's sequel, Redemptor

it was pretty good. felt like a breath of fresh air. enjoyed the portrayal of non-romantic love and the complicated feelings one can have towards terrible parents. good message, if a little heavy-handed. Wish the real world could fix its class divides and undo capitalism that easily. also wish we got to know more of the 12 better, though with only 2 books and a whole lot of stuff to get through, it's understandable they weren't explored much. read ella enchanted if you especially enjoyed the first book

Wizard of Earthsea trilogy

have never been so fucking validated for my run-on sentences by a book before. Excellent prose and imagery - i could eat those visual metaphors. I enjoyed the first book the most, the sequels slightly less so. have yet to read the side books. will definitely impact my writing style in the future. I <3 Usula Le Guinn

Spinning Silver (By Naomi Novik)

As good as my friend said it would be. Very fairytale-like, enjoyably lengthy, and sated my recent desire for jewish fiction. Could sometimes be hard to keep up with the POV changes sometimes, but that is my one and only criticism. Damn good book.

Uprooted (Also by naomi novik. actually the rest of the list is by her)

oughhh i loved the horror vibes. nice buildup, good tension, also fairytale-like, but in a different, twisted flavour. I liked that the 'big bad' being killed wasn't an instant fix in the ending: there was still work to be done. I really liked the interactions and chemistry between the three main characters, though I wish kasia and the POVcharacter had also gotten together (though i can't complain with the pairing the book did go with - the sex scene is really well done, even if it isn't as explicit as the erotica I usually frequent). I kept expecting them to get together, because frankly they both give off sapphic vibes. ah well

Scholomance trilogy

out of uprooted, spinning silver, and Scholomance, i'd rank scholomance as my favourite, then spinning silver, then uprooted. The storyline in this one is just especially well crafted: everything just comes together so satisfyingly, so neatly, with not a stray end in sight. I love the mystery aspect to it, and the relationship bewteen the main characters, and ESPECIALLY the school. It's like hogwarts but ten times as interesting and four times as dark and with 0 transphobic authors. THIS is how you design a magic school, people! I've always appreciated good setpieces (say, like in the Old Kingdom series and even the Inheritance Cycle) and the school for sure counts as one. Also did I mention the mystery aspect? This thing will have you hooked.

Temeraire series (up to halfway through Empire of Ivory)

Really love this!! I love dragons, especially ones that talk, and this has that in droves. Feels also very grounded, which is surprising for a dragon book: it's set in the 1790s during the napoleonic wars, and is, as far as I can tell, pretty faithful to the time period. except for, you know, the dragons. I enjoy seeing how the POV character grown as a person throughout the books, and how he interacts with others. Mans loves his dinner conversations. I enjoy Temeraire, the dragon, a lot, though for some reason I keep thinking he's a she/her??? for no reason?? it keeps throwing me off that he's not and i don't know why! you'd think 4 books in i'd have gotten the memo that hes a guy! anyways. manages to make me care about side characters that get like, at most, a page of content, which is impressive to me. very travelogue-esque. excited to see where the series goes!

[silent-mysteriousguy]

What’s your favorite book you’ve read this year, and would you recommend it to others?

lynn, you truly are the mvp for asking a question and let me tell you of the gem that is lonely castle in the mirror.

When I look into a book, I got like a few things i look for, criteria of the sorts. most of the time most books score high on one but fail me on the others. dont think i *cant* like a book if it does that, believe me when i say gwen and arthur are not in love was a Fantastic read, but it did do that for me. Lonely castle in the mirror, however, perhaps did not blow me away on any one criterion, but it blew me away by delivering solidly on all of my ideas of what a book should be. A beautiful writing style that kept me thinking how the fuck the author was doing it, a plot so creative it hooked me right away, a plot twist that i could not predict but made perfect goddamn sense, THE CHARACTERS??? oh my god you know what i lied lonely castle in the mirror blew me away with how lovable the characters were. I was ROOTING for these children man, ROOTING.

anyhow, yes, if you love japanse magical realism with characters you will not forget, lonely castle in the mirror is so right for you please read i beg of everyone :sob:

[echoes-lighthouse]

Something that amuses me is the fact that I’m not caught up on literally any of my fictional others’ source material! 

This is a brief study of where I left every single media (and why): 

these are my personal experiences and i certainly don’t judge anyone for not sharing them or for enjoying a plot twist/plot arc that i disliked! 

BNHA (anime)- I watched to the end of season 4 and never picked up the next season: I was getting tired of suppressing my emotions about the whole hero/police parallel issues and just decided the fanfiction would be more fulfilling than the actual story. 

Homestuck- I read the original webcomic to the end, but I abandoned HS2 like a hot potato and refused to touch the whole franchise for a year and a half: it was such a bitter piece of writing, mocking the fandom and erasing the progress most of the characters had made in their original arcs, and I don’t know that I’ll ever fully forgive the creators for it. 

Magic School Bus- I read most of the books when I was a kid, but I never watched the TV show! I was one of those 90s kids who didn’t have cable, and I’m not sure I’ve read ALL of the books: it’s been a while for most of them, though I do have 2 still on my bookshelf 

TMA- I always preferred the oneshot horror story part of The Magnus Archives, so I started to get pretty burned out around season 3, but I kept going until season 5! Season 5 tends to be less stories and more horror-themed poetry/abstract concepts, so I just didn’t.... bother? But I’m glad people who enjoyed the plot aspects seem to have liked the ending! 

Critical Role- uhhhhh I’ll get back to this some day! I’m thinking of starting Campaign 2 from the beginning again? The stakes just got too high and I didn’t love what the group was doing, and it just got stressful instead of fun... but some early-days episodes might get me hooked again! 

Rick and Morty- I have to consume this show at a bit of a snail’s pace because the abuse and alcoholism can really get under my skin. I just recently started Season 5 and I’m working at it slowly. 

(secondary F/O sources under ‘read more’ so I don’t flood dashboards!) 

Black Butler- I did watch the whole anime but I was honestly more into the manga, which is still running! I read until I was caught up in 2015, but I just haven’t gone back into the fandom since then, although I still lovingly stroke the spines in every bookshop: maybe I should make an effort to get the new volumes from the library! 

Welcome To Night Vale- I listened to the first hundred episodes! Actually, the first 121, but it was more and more multi-episode arcs and I wasn’t into it, so I let it go. I need to go back and catch up on my Kevin dearest’s arc though :) 

Danganronpa- I was watching the Game Grumps playthrough and I finished the first game with them, but they were super halfhearted about the second game, so I only watched one trial, and now I’m waiting to have enough money to buy and play games 2 and 3 for myself! 

Mary Poppins- okay this might be an exception BUT I haven’t read the original books! 

Nightmare Before Christmas- a second exception BUT I heard terrible things about the new book so I decided not to read it! Does that count? 

Sandman- I’ve read the comics fully, including the follow-up comics after the initial run. However, I have NOT watched the TV show: Death looks great but I can’t get over how much they butchered Dream and I just can’t bear to watch any of the scenes with him in it, and he’s the heart of the damn series so it doesn’t feel worth it 

American Horror Story- I watched a few full seasons but got a bit tired with the ‘in your face’ style of horror in each season, and categorically refused to watch the Coven season for ‘raised pagan’ reasons. I watched House, Asylum, Freak Show, Cult, and Roanoke, but I really only enjoyed House and Asylum as full stories. 

And that’s the story of why I’m not caught up on any of my f/o’s origin medias! Thanks for reading to the bottom, it’s something I’m quite insecure about (like I don’t love them enough if I haven’t finished the original media for their sake) so I decided to write about it in a fun way! 

[tlcartist]

Thinking about how I consumed both The Lord of the Rings and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure in the wrong order when I viewed them for the first time. LET ME EXPLAIN

So I grew up SUPER religious and there were a lot of things I wasn’t allowed to read or watch because it was considered “witchcraft”. Basically anything in a fantasy setting was off limits no matter how tame the story was. When I turned 15 I left the religion I grew up in and suddenly the world was my oyster. I could read anything I wanted! This was during the height of the LOTR films so I knew that was the first formerly forbidden thing I wanted to read.

So I do what any poor teen in the mid 00’s would do and I go to my local library. Problem was that, again, since LOTR was still really popular at the time every copy of the books in that series was checked out. Except The Return of the King. So I go sweet let’s go read this and I had literally no idea what was happening the whole time. It was a fever dream. But in spite of it all the book had my complete attention and, though I did realize my mistake while reading it, I was too engaged in the story to stop. I did eventually finish it and then went back to The Fellowship of the Ring and reread it in the correct order lmao.

JoJo was a different story. I’ve been a fan of anime in some capacity since I was a teen and I’ve known about JJBA for a really long time. I’ll admit it, I judged it pretty harshly before I got into it. The art style is just so insanely different than basically any other mainstream anime series and I didn’t get it. There were even a couple of times that I tried reading the manga but I noped out half way into the first volume because the art style was very 80’s and the writing was so over the top. Figured that was the end of it and that the JoJo fans could just keep it and do their thing but I was very much Not Interested thank u very much.

Then about a month ago I got the idea to try watching some anime that I’ve never seen before because I have plans to do anime conventions next year and I wanted to expand my knowledge a bit. So I thought, ehhh let’s try JJBA again. I’ll give it a couple episodes and if I hate it I can dip. Pull it up on Netflix and didn’t realize that it was playing season 5. I was confused because it wasn’t the setting or character that I’d read briefly in the manga but I shrugged and kept watching. And watching. And watching. I fell in love with Jolyne and the supporting characters. Needless to say that by the end of S5 I was thoroughly hooked and immediately went back to S1 and watched it in the correct order. I was so hooked that I watched all 5 seasons in a week and a half.

Moral of the story is don’t judge a manga by it’s first chapter and maybe doing things in the wrong order is actually a good thing sometimes.

[quinnsqueries]

Why Everyone Should Read "A Mango Shaped Space"

Wendy Mass was the first author I ever truly loved. Believe it or not, it took me until the ripe age of ten years old to truly love reading. And I remember the first book that actually got me hooked, and no it wasn't Mango, it was, however, by Wendy Mass. And, in classic little kid style, it was part of a series of books and I read them backwards.

And, I really just want to congratulate Wendy Mass on her writing abilities. She made me laugh, squeal and cry in one whole night. Three hours, to be exact, as that is how long it took me to read the whole book. And, well, it'd been a long time since I read it, so I didn't remember too much about the book, and what I did remember was the most tragic event in the book, the premise, and that the main character saw her grandfather in her kitten.

And, well, even though I knew what happened, I knew the tragic event was, well, tragic...it still didn't prepare me for it enough because I sobbed like a baby when it happened. I don't want to say what happened because, spoilers, but like, jesus christ, I cried. And I don't do that very often with books these days.

Anyway, I really recommend reading A Mango Shaped Space if you haven't, because I saw myself in the main character. Now, I don't have synesthesia, but I still saw myself in Mia, and maybe you will too. If you don't want spoilers for the book, then I suggest you stop reading here. If you don't mind it, if you need more convincing, then read along!

My first though when rereading this book was: Wow, Mia, you and I are so alike, I can't do math either. My second thought was, wow, Mia has anxiety. The opening scene is our protagonist, Mia, trying to solve a math problem and failing. She's never been good at math and she says it's because of the colors she sees and how it just doesn't work correctly when she tries to do math.

Mia was in front of the class trying to solve a math problem, and since she's not good at math, she's trying to stall for time, so she attempts to solve the problem while putting all the numbers in the "correct" color. Except, other people don't see the world as colorfully as Mia, and this ends up with her in the principals office realizing that maybe she's different and that it's not a good thing. This ultimately ends up with Mia trying to hide how different she is.

Now let's pause here for a moment. This scene not only builds up the entire plot of the book, but also reminds me of a lot of different things. Whenever someone thinks there might be something wrong with them, it can often be overlooked. With Mia it was her synesthesia, but with other people it can be so many different things. Autism, ADHD, depression...

I think this book is coded for neurodivergency, whether Wendy Mass meant it or not, and honestly, that means so much for me. And I'll further explain why I felt that way as I reveal more of the story, but for now, just trust me on this one.

The next scene sets up Mia's life as it currently is. We meet her best friend Jenna, her mom and dad, and her little brother Zack. And let me tell you: this family is weird and I love it. Wendy Mass built the characters so realistically, she legit brought them to life. Her little brother is obsessed with superstitions and has kept track of every single McDonalds burger he's ever eaten. Her older sister basically never touched grass in her life and then spends a summer in California and is obsessed with all of these nature-y spirity things. Her mom is very clean and horrible with dealing with emotions. She used to be a science teacher and loves astronomy. Her dad is the more sensitive parent (which like? Hello! We never get that!) He's constantly building and expanding their house, which is something he'd battle with his dad against until he died. He flies a hellicopter!

And then there's Mia. Who, like me, sucks at math, is okay with english and history, and is super artistic. She gets overwhelmed by a lot of noise, which the first time we see this happen, is when her brother turns up all of her clocks so when it strikes 5pm they'll all go off. It's super loud and overwhelming and Mia can't see straight. I get that way too, and the way Wendy Mass writes is super relatable.

If I had been prepared, I would have been able to anticipate the onslaught, but now it is overwhelming and I feel like I'm suffocating.

I get this way too! When things are too loud, if there's too many people around me, etc, I can't breathe, which Mass depicts, too. Mia has to crouch on the floor just so she can breathe. And then when the noise goes away, which causes the colors to go away, she can breathe again. This is a realistic depiction of anxiety, and while this is due to Mia's synesthesia, I think a lot of people can relate to how Mia is feeling in this moment.

Mia is then, understandably, afraid of hearing too many sounds, but when she takes control of the noise, like putting on music, then she's perfectly fine with it. Here's another quote from the book which just resonated with me.

All of them, belonging, at that minute, only to me.

This quote is in relation to the colors, but really just accurately depicts how when we have control of things, you really just feel at peace. And since it's preceded by such a powerful scene of feeling out of control, I think this sentence is just kinda perfect.

Another powerful scene is when Mia meets another kid like her. His name is Billy and he's five years old. Mia meets him at a supermarket and at first she doesn't realize that he's like him, but when she's does she's shocked. And, reasonably, scared and confused. This pushes the plot forward, and the next big scene is Mia coming clean to her parents. But first, just another quote that made me scream.

These visits are hard for her, no matter what she says. Or doesn't say. I hurry back to the house thinking of all the things we keep from other people. Even our best friends.

This quote sums up so much of the book, and it comes so early on. Mia's been keeping her synesthesia to herself for years, and it causes so many problems. It makes her feel isolated, which in turn, when she finds out that there are other people like her, makes her go crazy. She hyperfixates and loses track of whats right in front of her. Wendy Mass depicts what life is all about, depicts something that can really happen to anyone, depending on how isolated they feel. And it doesn't have to just be with synesthesia, it can be with anything! And that is what I loved about this book more.

If you haven't been convinced to keep reading, well...we're only on page 50.

So, like I said, the next big scene is Mia telling her parents that she has synesthesia, though she doesn't yet know the name for her condition. Beforehand, she's talking about why certain things, like math and languages are hard for her, because, no matter what she tries, they don't make sense.

When she tells her parents about the colors, they reasonably freak out. They argue back and forth about how it's their fault she's this way, the mom tries reason it with Mia having just memorized the colors because of the blocks she played with as a kid, and then they decide to set up a doctors appointment. All they want to do is fix Mia.

Also, I just want to point out, at this point, that even insignificant characters, like the history teacher in this book have such stunning quirks. The history teacher is a germaphobe and when Mia gets called down to be picked up, she doesn't know what it's for and her instant reaction is "did I put my history homework in the wrong pile?"

And, if I haven't given you enough quotes, heres another one that resonates with me.

At that point I would rather have been called anything but crazy. It's one thing for me to call myself crazy. It is another thing entirely when a doctor does it.

At this point in the book Mia has been referred to a therapist, or that's at least what they call her. Who, by the way, assumes Mia's making this up. And Mia thinks that because she's been referred to a therapist the doctor is calling her crazy, which, I don't entirely think he was. He just wasn't sure what to do about her condition since he doesn't specialize in that field.

Anything, the next thing we know, Mia tells her best friend about synesthesia and she gets upset. Previously in the book we learned Jenna's mom died when she was young and it had such an impact on her, which is why she's scared that Mia had been hiding such a big part of her life from her. She doesn't understand what is going on with Mia, and she seems like she might be sick at this point in the book, since nobody knows what synesthesia is. So, they have a fight because Jenna is scared that her best friend might die, even if she doesn't say it out loud, we can tell.

Mia then meets the therapist and gets referred to a neurologist, who, when Mia and her mom meet in person, then tells her what synesthesia is, since he specializes in it. He then says they can meet again sometime, sends Mia off with a website, and she's reasonably happy. She then spends the later half of the book hyper fixating on her new terminology, learning more about synesthesia, and making a new friend through the website. All the while ignoring what she has in real life. She distances herself from Jenna, who she finally made up with, and the rest of her friends. She ignores her schoolwork, and even does acupuncture because she read online that it really brings out her colors.

Now, at this point, I think it's only fair to bring up the cat, Mango. The namesake of the book. Mia first met Mango after her grandfather died, and she reminded her of him because they had the same eyes. She believes a part of her grandfather lives on through Mango, which softened her grandfathers death. But, the thing is, Mango, despite being fairly young, is dying, which is hinted at through the book. Mango has a lung condition and takes medicine for it.

During a meetup of people with synesthesia Mia has her first kiss and it's the best night of her life. And then, once she gets home, she realizes that Mango is missing. He'd gotten trapped outside. Mia brings him inside but something isn't right. Mango is dying and the roads are flooded. They try to take him to the vet via helicopter, but he dies on the way. And Mia is blaming herself for it. She thinks she hadn't been paying enough attention to Mango, and because of that he died.

My eyes open wide, and the pain hits me in thick black waves. Then I scream loud enough to wake the dead. Only it doesn't.

This quote was what made the tear-gates flood. Mia is grieving and hard. And during the next couple of chapters there are so many raw quotes, things like "I wish the ice would go right through me and take the pain away." Because Mia just lost her best friend, and she doesn't know how to cope. And also, her colors are gone, because it's a traumatic experience and apparently that happens.

And, also, it's Jenna's birthday party that day, and Mia just feels stuck in bed. And Jenna is blaming the synesthesia get-together for Mia being absent to being early for setting up. This gets resolved quickly by Mia's mom calling Jenna and explaining that Mango died, but this further shows us that Mia really had been neglecting everything in favor of researching/being hyper-fixated on her diagnosis. On her explanation of why she is the way she is.

The book then comes to a close with Mia finding Billy, whom she had been searching for in hopes of helping him and his family learn more about who he is and what he has, and with Mia reconnecting with her loved ones. And really, they ended it even softer with finding Mango's children, because he'd been courting another cat. Jenna's cat.

And well, I just really loved this book. So, please, please read it and tell me your thoughts. Did you also find that it's coded in nuerodivergency and other mental health issues?

[rononliest]

Strange, mushroom-like growths are appearing on peoples' bodies and doctors, puzzled by the strange virus that plants inhuman desires in the minds of victims, look for a cause and uncover a horrifying reality.

When a brilliant scientist seeking to solve the problem of world hunger tries to create giant mushrooms through genetic manipulation, what could possibly go wrong? The mutated spores escape the lab and spread across all of England. Toadstools grow to twenty feet tall, and a case of athlete's foot can mean a grisly and horrible death. But those who die quickly are the lucky ones. Those who survive infection by the fungus will be transformed into something unthinkably monstrous ...

I want to read EVERYTHING by this author! 🎇 What an incredible journey! 10 Pages in and there's already lots of action. The book is a perfect mix of cheeky humor, thrilling suspense, and a fast-paced plot that keeps you on the edge of your seat. The characters are unflinching and not too hesitant to use their weapons. It was a very fast-paced, high-tension, breathtaking read! I liked the ending, really coherent with both the characters and the situation.

I loved the author's writing style - it was witty, engaging, and kept me hooked from start to finish. The book had just the right amount of suspense and humor, making it a great read for anyone who enjoys a good sci-fi thriller.

TW: There's some brutal scenes in this, don't read if you're squeamish; it's just ultra-violent at times. Being that this book was written back then, there are some sexist views, (a few racist ones too), and a few other things that don't fit in with today's culture and attitudes.

Overall, I highly recommend "The Fungus" to anyone looking for a fun, fast-paced read.

[selenepluto]

❌NO SPOILERS❌

The first thing that came to my mind after reading this book was calling Yeonmi Park resilient or strong was an understatement followed by an immense respect for her. After all the hardships she had to face at such a young age made me wonder how she did not go insane. An interview of her's popped into my feed recently that made me want to know her story and I am so glad that I read it.

Yeonmi Park led a horrible life in North Korea and moments of happiness were rare. In this memoir she tells her story about how she defected North Korea and her journey of being an activist.

This book is so good that it kept me hooked up till the end. I would rate this 5/5.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

{The ratings are strictly based on Yeonmi's writing style and the simple way in which she puts forth her story. I am not in any way rating her life experience(s) }

[sincerelylaurel]

book review: heartless by marissa meyer

i first read this book in august and recently reread it, so i thought i should try posting a book review. lmk if you want more book reviews <3 also spoiler alert!! don’t read this review if you don’t want to spoil the book for yourself lol

rating: 5/5

first of all, this book broke my heart.

the first half of the book was a little slow but the subplots kept me hooked, and by the time i got to the second half of the book i couldn’t put the book down and finished it in one night. i also really love marissa meyer’s writing style, i read a few of her other books and it’s genuinely beautiful. it’s not very flowery or profound but i am always very in touch with her characters’ emotions and inner thoughts even when it’s not in first person pov.

i’ve always been a fan of fairytale retellings, but this one by far is my favorite. she brought alice in wonderland to life in the most magical way possible. every single one of the characters was so well developed and complex in their own way.

likes

- cath’s character arc was SO well done

- the character dynamics overall

- JEST LOVE OF MY LIFE

- it initially gives off a magical fairytale vibe but it’s secretly so dark and sad

- the writing style is enchanting

dislikes

- the plot could have used a tiny bit of polishing

- made me cry :(

- i can’t think of any more dislikes so let’s leave it here

favorite quotes

“‘mind my words, cheshire, i will have you banished from this kingdom if you tempt me.’

‘an empty threat from an empty girl.’

she rounded on him, teeth flashing. ‘i am not empty. i am full to the brim with murder and revenge. i am overflowing and i do not think you wish for me to overflow on you.’

‘there was a time’ — cheshire yawned — ‘when you overflowed with whimsy and icing sugar. i liked that catherine better.’

‘that catherine was a fool.’”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“it is a dangerous thing to unbelieve something only because it frightens you”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“sometimes your heart is the only thing worth listening to”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“if i am not to have happiness, let me at least have a purpose”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“she is a rose, jest. lovely on the eyes, yes, but such thorns are not to be ignored. she belongs in a king’s garden, not yours.”