#the thing that will always make me question this narrative is that they're constantly bringing it up

[bengiyo]

I’ve just finished my rewatch of Go Ahead, a cdrama you will probably never watch because it’s het and mostly about family trauma. But it’s one of my all time favs and one of the best things about it is the strong found family theme—it’s essentially about three broken families and how they join together as one to support each other. It got me thinking about my fav found family narratives, and especially those that are explicitly queer, because there’s often added life or death stakes in those stories. What are your favorite found family stories in queer media?

This is an interesting question, and I think you qualified appropriately right away by bringing up the life or death stakes of this kind of narrative. I think I want to make a distinction between "finding your people" and "found family" because I think these things often get blurred in romance stories.

Favorite Queer Found Family Stories

For me, a good found family story has to be about the found family component of it. Romance can be a significant portion of the story, but the primary driving relationships need to be about the queers being each other's primary network. I think estrangement from your bio family is a critical component, because knowing you are all each other has is a big part of it.

POSE (2018-2021)

It's really impossible to establish what found family looks like without referring to a show about ballroom culture in NYC in the 90s. We were dying. We were being abandoned. The houses gave people a place to be and a sense of purpose. These kids called their leaders Mother for a reason. Every single queer character in this show was saved by another character in this show before going onto save another character in this show. No show has ever done it like POSE.

Despite their fighting and bickering, Elektra saved Blanca. Blanca would go on to form her own house and provide shelter and support for multiple kids. There is a desperation to queer found family for me that makes it so important. Pray Tell's final choices still resonate with me to this day.

Queer as Folk (2000-2005)

We remember all of the fucking in this show, but this is another show where the queers are their primary support network. Their families aren't really there for them. Justin is kicked out of the house and lives with Debbie for a while, and is nursed by his community after being bashed. Michael and Ben adopt Hunter. Brian donates for Lindsey and Melanie. Debbie housed Brian in the past. Emmett's family disowned him, so his friends are all he's got. The community rallies constantly to protect each other.

Part of what makes this show so special as found family, like with POSE, is how often these folks piss each other off and get into huge fights. They fall out repeatedly in this show over fundamental disagreements that are not easily solved. Some of those fights are ugly in a way only people who know you best can hurt you.

The Fosters (2013-2018)

There's no way I'm not including my favorite TV lesbians of all time raising all them kids on this post. These two public servants found each other, made the difficult choices to be together, and keep expanding their family with more fosters and adoptees over time because there's always more love to go around. This show tackled how important it is to be able to call people family, and what it means for that to be a choice over an obligation. These two always found a way to make it work for their complex family and gave a budding queer the space to grow and be a brat of a teenager after saving him from having the shit beaten out of him for wearing a dress.

Sense8 (2015-2018)

From the directors of The Matrix (1999) and the creator of Babylon 5 (1993-1998), few shows are as queer as Sense8. Eight strangers suddenly become connected to each other and cannot turn it off. Half of them are queer in some way, and it's about their adaptation to each other and looking out for each other as they're literally being hunted. This is one of my favorite sci-fi concepts of all time, and I love the way their relationships outside of their cluster play into their dynamics.

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat (2022- )

This is a recent favorite for this, particularly because of Season 2. In Season 1, we know that Nomoto puts a distance between herself and her family because of the pressure to become a wife. In season 2, we learn that Kasuga has severed ties with her family because of the expectation that she surrender her own life to take care of her family. When she tells Nomoto this, Nomoto gets angry on Kasuga's behalf and they decide to commit to living together. They are also building their community around them, and I better see everyone in their new apartment in season 3.

Gameboys 2 (2022)

So much of what's going wrong for Gav in this season is that he doesn't feel connected to the rest of his bio family after his grandmother passed, and he's desperately holding onto all of the friendships he has because he's so lonely. It's why he's still close with both of his exes (Pearl and Terrence), and why he won't let them go. Also, he's falling apart and Pearl is the one making sure his bills get paid on time.

The Shape of Water (2017)

Shout out to my man Doug Jones for always playing creatures that everyone is attracted to. The way this movie is so much about undesirables choosing to love each other and saving each other. Go watch it if you haven't. This film is not about a sexual awakening. It's about loving inside of a white capitalist structure.

Not Queer But Good

Shout outs for my faves. Some have queer characters in them, but aren't inherently or explicitly queer.

The Golden Girls (1985-1992)

No one did it like them. A bunch of aging women living together and making the most of their lives still resonates almost 40 years later.

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005-2008)

All of these kids are estranged from their families, and are building out something that works over the course of the show.

The Good Place (2016-2020)

I really love that this is a show about people who didn't get it together in life getting it together in the afterlife because they decided to work together, and then to care about each other. When you're literally being tortured by devils, you're all you've got.

What Doesn't Fit?

This is where things can get a little bit wiggly, but why I want to draw a line on this. I think that shows about queer friendship are important, but I also think that there's a difference between "we are all we've got" and "these people are the most important to me." So we end up with shows like the following.

Noah's Arc (2005-2006)

I often call this the Black answer to Queer as Folk, but I don't think it had time to fully-develop the found family themes in a way that QaF did with its much-longer runtime. Noah and his friends are super codependent and absolutely there for each other, but I don't think the absence of their families is explicitly attributed to their queerness but rather a byproduct of the focus on their gay life dynamics in LA. I love this show dearly, but there isn't a desperation to this that belies the family angst necessary for found family.

For The Boys (2021)

In many ways a spiritual successor to Noah's Arc, this show falls into the same place. The friend trio at the core of this is the most important relationship in their lives, but this show doesn't have the necessary found family angst.

What about QL?

For me, the biggest problem with doing found family in QL is that the primary genre is romance. These shows prioritize the way these relationships will turn romantic in a way that detracts from the found family component even when it's present. Also, because QL focuses so hard on coming of age plotlines, there's an element more of "finding your people" that supercedes any found family dynamics.

I Promised You the Moon (2021) is a good example of this. The primary drama of this show is about the romance between Teh and Oh-aew and the complications they face once they leave Phuket. Oh finds his people there and blossoms from it, but this is a story about how he and Teh can't get over each other.

As much as I love What Did You Eat Yesterday? (2019- ), the only real component of that is in Wataru's character. Kenji gets along with his mom and sisters, and Shiro is working on repairing the relationship with his family the entire time.

With Thai BL especially, I feel like they're big on friend groups, but not as big on found family. New Siwaj loves big friend groups that love each other, evinced by Love Sick (2014-2015), Make It Right (2016-2017), Until We Meet Again (2019), EN of Love (202), My Only 12% (2022), etc. He's done some great work in the space with queer friends, but not really queer found family.

Cheewin, a former collaborator of New's, also loves friend groups that have each other's backs. Probably his best example of that is Secret Crush On You (2022) with that friend quartet. The closest I think he came to found family was Uea in Bed Friend.

Another example that comes close is the unit that forms on their road trip in The End of the World With You (2023). I often think about this group of queers and the kid they adopted screaming to the heavens that they want to live.

Something I love, but which doesn't count for me is Our Dining Table (2023). There are powerful family dynamics here, but like in WDYEY they're adding Yutaka to their family and Yutaka reconciles with his adoptive family. I don't generally think that adding a romantic partner to your family counts as found family. Besides, Yutaka has a stable job and housing.

Final Thoughts

For me, the stakes are pretty high with queer found family, and it really needs to have a queer basis for me to feel strongly about it. Going back to their bio family is not an option, and often times the terms we use for traditional relationships don't always fit properly (yet another reason why Unknown got so much right). I don't think it's queer found family when they're students in college whose families just aren't around because they're paying for their kids to go to school. Finding your queer community as an adult is a huge part of growing up, but a queer found family is there for the really ugly and desperate parts of existence that your friends might not see.

[rwbyrg]

Hello!

I would like to ask if there's already a post a long the lines of "Why Rosegarden is a good ship" or reasons to ship RG? If none would it be alright to ask for your insights?

It's my first time being interested in them but I just can't wrap it around my head for now. I would love to read about them!

Thank you in advance ^^

Hi Anon!

I have not yet made any posts specifically with these questions in mind, no. Just a small, unfinished, series about why I believe the ship is likely to be canon. I am happy to offer some insight, but I don't know that I'm going to give you the answers you're looking for. 😅

First and foremost, the questions you're asking aren't really ones that can be answered objectively. What makes a ship "good" or "bad" is largely subjective, as there are as many ways to view a ship as there are people viewing it. I could make an argument about how I think it is - objectively speaking - a well written pairing that follows the typical beats and tropes (with delightful subversions) of a good romance arc, that also parallels how other canon ships within RWBY have been established... but at the end of the day, if you're not a fan of what RG is about, then there's not much I can say to change your mind.

Which brings me to your second question. The best reasons to ship RG are going to be the same reasons for why anyone should ship anything: ship it if you want to, ship it if it resonates with you, and ship it if you enjoy it.

If their characters, interactions, themes, parallels, allusions, tropes, symbolisms, foils, designs, messages, etc., aren't your cup of tea, it's completely okay if you pick something else on the menu! So long as you don't like. verbally harass people that do like it or fill the tag w the same discourse that we are all very tired of seeing.

I don't know if that is a sufficient answer to your question, so I'll take a chance and also provide some of my personal reasons as to why I think it's "good" and why I ship it. While there are many reasons I can't all include, the main things are just how much they mirror each other:

From their complementary character designs (red vs. green, silver vs. gold, moon vs. sun, etc.),

To shared fairytale allusions (Little Prince and the Rose, Dorothy and Princess Ozma/Tip, Warrior in the Woods, etc.),

To the narrative parallels (both being the youngest of the group when they joined respectively; how both of their attachments to each other keep being put into focus; to their shared themes around choice and identity: Ruby having chosen adventure but feeling as if she has no choice but to keep moving forward, while Oscar was chosen by adventure but chooses to do what he can despite his circumstances; Oscar not knowing who he is because of the merge and asking: "I'm just going to be another one of his lives, aren't I?", versus Ruby not wanting to be who she is after chasing the the ghost of an unachievable ideal, but being asked "what if you could be anyone?"; how they're both just kids thrown into war and unfair responsibility before they even have a chance to figure out the kinds of people they want to be, etc.),

to perhaps, most importantly, the show of mutual support between the two of them.

Ruby supports everyone as best she can. She is always giving to and supporting others as a show companionship and leadership. But thanks to V9 and also E4 of RWBY Beyond, we know this was not sustainable or sufficiently reciprocated.

She was let down by Weiss who constantly managed to hit her right in her insecurities; let down by Blake who - even while trying to uplift her - just ended up adding more pressure by treating Ruby like a role model; to Yang and Qrow who both tried to support her as best they could, but kept comparing her to Summer in the process; to Penny having so much of her own lack of experience, stressors, and very immediate worries going on that she couldn't offer Ruby the support she needed even if she wanted to; to Jaune flipping his lid at her and pointing the blame even when he himself was guilty and knew he was out of line; to Ozpin, Qrow, Maria, Tai, Summer, Cordovin, Ironwood, etc., all being adults who could have taken responsibility or done the right thing, but fumbled or failed leaving her to pick up the pieces in their wake. But Oscar? We see it from Oscar's introduction that he - like their shared fairytale allusions - is in awe from the moment he meets her. But after one conversation about the weight of her grief, trauma, and the responsibilities she is carrying - a conversation she has not had with anyone else up to this point - he immediately sees how heavy Ruby's burdens are. Saying, as early as V5: "This must be really hard on her too". And while it is subtle, he never stops looking after her as best he can as the volumes go onward ("Looks like you're needed elsewhere."/"You're sure?"/"Yeah, I've got it."). However, it's only in V9 that her sister Yang is asking "why didn't she just talk to us?". It is only in V9 when her partner Weiss admits: "Maybe it's because she didn't feel like she could". It is only V9 when Ruby finally lays her burdens out to someone else again, this time to the Blacksmith, after almost having given up completely.

For a character who's 116 episode long arc has been about carrying the weight of responsibility far beyond her limits, never asking for anything in return no matter how difficult it gets... to meet another character that instantly notices her struggles and makes a conscious effort to help where all others have failed? To have one conversation and say "that looks heavy, let me help you carry that" without her asking or waiting for an answer? It's just one of the most beautiful acts of care I can think of. The themes and the parallels all resonate very strongly with me on a personal level, making it - in my humble opinion - a brilliant, and very stable foundation for a relationship, and for a story.

Thank you for your question, I hope I was able to offer some of the insight you were looking for. 💕

[mrs-monaghan]

Okay so Jungkook has moments where he's incredibly bold like in major ways. But in small ways he seems to how do I say it wimp out. For example Jungkook always makes excuses as to why he's with Jimin a lot. Instead of just admitting they're extremely close he makes it seem like he hangs with JM out of convenience. This is not me being insecure I do think they are together I just don't understand his habit of doing this. I don't see how the same dude that sucked JM's ear on stage or will do long videos for him, will clam up when confronted with the fact that he spends a lot of time with JM.

Even when he watched an old interview of himself saying JM is the easiest to talk to...he pretty much corrected and saying that's not the case anymore...it's easy to talk to everyone.

This habit of his shouldn't bother me so much but it does. Again it doesn't make me doubt them, if anything it makes me think they are more of a couple but it just irks my nerves because there's nothing suspicious about saying we like hanging out. It's more suspicious to constantly downplay how much you hang out. You get what I'm saying?

He's been doing it since forever and If I'm being honest I don't think it would bother me so much if it didn't bring a lot of hate on JM when he does it, so I think that's the real reason I care so much that he has this habit. But why do you think he does it?

My first guess would be trying not to out them...but then he goes and does wildly obvious stuff that brings into question why he'd care about admitting to hanging out with JM a lot but not care about big displays of affection. He seems to care more about hiding the minor things. Why do you think that is?

a) We may hate the fanservice narrative but Jikook have gladly taken advantage of it. Cue RB and HG. They were able to get away with these things because they can be explained away with FS.

b) They are in the closet. So JK can't be going around everytime confirming how close they are especially when Jimin already does it enough for the both of them. U forget the amount of times Jimin has made sure we know just how close them 2 are. And so, see point A. Where while big gestures can be passed off as fan service, things JK says or admits to cannot.

c) Which is most important to note; JK likes to be in charge of situations especially if they are occurring on camera. So, if he's recording Jimin like he loves to and then producers suddenly go "why do you record Jimin so much?" his heart is gonna start beating a mile a minute and he's gonna panic and scramble for the most unbelievable answer ever.

If something is JK's decision, his choice, he will be loud and bold and have no regrets whatsoever. But if he's just bombarded with something it takes him by surprise and he panics and that's why he tries to downplay their rlship coz he has something to hide and he thinks if he acts like Jimin isn't special it will come off that way.

To you and me, we can clearly see through him. Coz u can see the deer in the headlights look. U can see him swallow nervously. Avoid the camera. But to haters like u say, they can't read body language for shit and also they don't want to. Haters have an agenda and so they won't care for how JK acted before this.

(And entire thread of Jimin trying to kiss JK, something he only ever does with JK and people are still here choosing to look like 🤡🤡)

Anygays, antis will only care that he turned away. They miss the tiny smile as Jimin gets closer which means JK doesn't mind it one bit. They miss the part where JK stares at Jimin's lips which is clearly a reflex. They miss the part where JK could have moved earlier but waited till the late second. Almost like he forgot himself for a second there. You and I will notice. But an anti will only pick up on the fact that JK turned away.

And that's fine anon. Really. Truly. Antis are the reason we have continued to have Jikook moments for all these years. Because no matter what these 2 men do, no matter how loud they get, antis are still gonna explain their rlship away. Which, if u really think about it, its a good thing. Glass closet and all that.

I have said this many times but Jikook don't get affected by the hate as much as we do. Or we think. If they did they would tone down their affection for eo but alas!

[distort-opia]

We constantly talk about how joker wants batman to understand their roles in the universe and kinda break the 4th wall like he did

But if that happens, what then? Would that change something in their relationship? Would that bring any sort of satisfaction from joker? How would it change things?

Oh, this is a very interesting question. Though I don't know if Joker truly wants Batman to break the fourth wall in the same way he does, since that's simply not who Batman is. In my understanding, Joker wants Batman to recognize how much he needs Joker as a counterpart, to admit the fact they're inescapably connected; he doesn't want Batman to usurp his own role as cosmic trickster. As usual, Joker wants and doesn't want to win. He needs Batman as he is and victory would mean Bruce ceasing to be exactly that.

But what would happen if Bruce got some awareness of the fictional nature of their world? God, that'd be so difficult for him. Even though he's had encounters with Fifth Dimension imps like Bat-Mite and Mr. Mxyzptlk, who tried to warp reality and treat him (and Clark, most often) as fictional characters in a story, manipulated for their own enjoyment, there were still ways to defeat these entities and regain free will. Hell, Bruce has faced plenty of gods and has even been one at some point, has confronted the idea of fate and of incomprehensible amounts of power multiple times, but it was always something within his own reachable world. If Bruce realized he's trapped within a narrative with absolutely no way of controlling his own fate, and that the death of his parents, his suffering, other people's deaths and pain, all of it is for the entertainment of an unreachable audience... that'd certainly be a very difficult pill to swallow.

While Batman's foundational belief is already that yes, maybe things don't have an inherent point, but that we create our own meaning, that's when one has that capacity to begin with. If the meaning you create is one dictated by someone else, what then? Joker's reaction is to embrace the absurdity as part of his madness and keep on living, but I don't think Bruce would be able to resolve it like that. It could go different ways... him trying again and again to enter our reality and failing, rightfully assuming he's being written that way. Him assuming he's going crazy and that perceiving us as the audience is a symptom of it, or that someone is attacking his mind. Him trying to live with it and this being something that brings him and Joker much closer, since they'd be the only ones to perceive this truth about their reality. Him having this knowledge erased so he can keep going without breaking down, him ending his own life over it.

Either way, it might not even bring Joker any satisfaction at all; it might terrify him if Batman validated this fleeting perception of unreality, that he most often buries. When Joker's fourth wall awareness is brought up, it's more often framed as him wanting to see it as a part of his insanity (there's a bigger meta I wrote on this here). Joker himself doesn't want to think there's absolutely no meaning in his world; he prefers to frame it as madness, and fixates on Batman as his life's point because otherwise there'd be nothing to stay alive for. So if Batman showed up and was like "Did you know we're both fictional characters??" Joker would probably be like "SHUT UP NO WE'RE NOT. That was supposed to be just me being crazy, you're not meant to see it too!!"

In the end this is a very interesting question, Anon. It would make for a fascinating story premise (which would be all kinds of philosophical and meta). Thank you for the ask!

[genericpuff]

Hi! So first things first happy belated new year!(sorry it's my first time interacting with your blog and I thought I'd start off on a positive note) second things second I wanted you to know I am ~besotted~ with your lore rekindled content , I love the art and how it resembles rachel's old style but most importantly I love the way you depicted persephone , she seems much more feisty and spunky ,she also possesses the agency many fans of the original LO claimed the OG persephone did (but never cared to show why that was the case whenever I asked them) as it is clearly shown, a good example of this is her " "meet cute" with hades at the party where SHE'S the one who approaches HIM, in the OG webtoon it was the opposite and the way hades gawked at her physical attractiveness while she was depicted as alone and vulnerable felt extremely predatory and not at all romantic (the "actual" first time they met with 18 year old or possibly younger persephone being naked on top of a drunk hades wasn't any better sadly:( ) also I'd like to ask a question if it doesn't bother you, (I don't know if you've been asked this before or not)Is persephone still going to be 19 years old in your comic? Or is she closer in age to hades ?I'd be grateful if you answered ! Have a good one❤👋🏻

Awww this was such a nice message to wake up to! Happy belated New Year! But now I wonder what your version of starting off your interactions on my blog with a negative note would have been like? 😈 Bring me allll your salt! (if there is any, I'm also just being a dick LMAO)

Thanks so much for your kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying Rekindled! It's wild to me how people are already loving it this much when like... I've barely put anything out? I think I've mentioned this before but I'm used to putting out like, 40-60 panels worth of stuff on a weekly basis (as Rekindled isn't my main comic project) so the fact y'all have been so sweet to the handfuls of panels I've put out for Rekindled already is like... absolutely wild to me. It blows me away :' 0

As for your question, I'm definitely gonna be age'ing up Persephone, not just because of the questionable age gap but also because her being 19 in LO serves absolutely no narrative purpose. The issue with the 19 year old age gap thing isn't just the fact that the age gap exists, that alone would be fine on its own because there would still be an age gap even if she were 100 or 200 or 500 or whatever have you. The issue is that 1.) 19 is a very specific age to use that has a lot of real world equivalencies to "barely legal" and "robbing the cradle" culture, there are FAR too many real life examples of rich 40 year old men exclusively dating 19 year old girls (Leo DiCaprio, hello?) and taking advantage of them in worst case scenarios and it makes it hard not to draw those parallels with LO when Hades is literally coded as a 40 year old man and Persephone is such a 'mortal' age like 19; and 2.) Persephone is very often framed as being some innocent virgin "valley girl" archetype which is, again, very common when it comes to the May December romance. A lot of gross older man will often specifically target younger women because they can play out their fantasies of "deflowering" a young woman or whatnot.

It's hard not to take issue with the Persephone/Hades age gap when they're constantly being drawn like this:

"Art experts" will argue that it's Rachel trying to make Persephone look "small" to convey the mood but if that's the case, she's failing miserably at it, she doesn't just look 'small', she looks like a literal infant. It also always seems to be happening in real time and outside Persephone's head which makes it come across more as other people seeing her that way, not herself.

Compare it to (and I hate that I'm about to use this as a comparison because I also can't stand this webtoon for how infantalizing it is) Let's Play which does a MUCH better job showing characters' inner emotions through the literal personification of their emotions.

Point is, you can convey how a character might feel compared to those around them WITHOUT making them look ridiculous in the story's own setting and universe.

And that's not even getting to how Persephone is treated by both the people around her and the way the comic frames her, there's a LOT of exaggeration put on how "young and innocent" she is and the fact that the comic will take any opportunity it can to draw Persephone in some Vogue magazine like pose even when the scene doesn't call for it is... creepy and distracting, to say the least.

(this is not the look of a person who is 'lonely', at least not the way she's describing it LMAO)

Anyways. This got off topic. It's taken me like, 3 hours to formulate a response to this because I've had my brain split between like 4 different things today LMAO but yes, Rekindled will be ageing up Persephone, at least just to get her away from the real life touchiness of her being a literal 19 year old girl in a relationship with a 40-coded man. I don't mind or think there's much wrong with reasonable age gaps in relationships, but it's a whole other thing when you make your immortal god character an incredibly relatable age like 19 and then also proceed to overly sexualize them/objectify them/infantalize them every chance you get.

And ultimately, they're gods. Their ages really shouldn't matter as 'age' is a concept that shouldn't apply to immortal beings, Rachel's mistake was making it matter with Hecate/Hera calling out Hades for being into a 19 year old girl. If we're not supposed to raise an eyebrow at it, don't have your in-universe characters call it out either, y'know? That just establishes the rule in the story that age gaps are something even the gods would get upset over LMAO It's just not gonna be a focus in Rekindled because it serves no narrative purpose besides pushing Rachel's gross pro-shipping/DDLG fetish.

And, y'know... I kinda don't wanna encourage any more of this shit:

[sednonamoris]

fran's 2023 read it and weep 🫵

a comprehensive list of everything i read this year and why you should (or shouldn't) read it as well...

how to read literature like a professor by thomas c. foster

i picked this back up again when i took on a teaching job as a refresh - it was my fourth or fifth reread and as always my main man thomas c. did not disappoint!! not joking when i say i quote this thing on the reg: it's a symbol if you think it is became a permanent fixture in my vernacular ages ago. this book aligns perfectly with my yes the curtains are blue on purpose agenda and serves as an excellent foray into deep/active reading, which i am constantly preaching about to my kids. fun and fresh literary analysis, just the way it should be!

tiny beautiful things by cheryl strayed

gritty, witty, and full of heart. this advice column-turned-book is shocking but so very human, and it got me out of a months-long reading slump.

bridge of clay by markus zusak

yes, a boy named clay builds a bridge, but it’s sooooo much more than that. this book weaves the past and present together in a beautiful way and really brings meaning to the concept of haunting the narrative. the descriptions are vivid and lived-in which makes the setting - 1980’s australia - entirely accessible, even to a foreign homebody like me. the family dynamics at play are outrageous and charming and the whole thing is gorgeously written and it made me cry. read it right now.

the hunchback of notre dame by victor hugo

i LOVED this book but unless you are just as obsessed with the story as me, this is not a rec. victor hugo anything is more of a warning or an i-read-it-so-you-didn't-have-to. did i learn more than i ever wanted to about french gothic architecture and the paris catacombs? yes. was i still utterly enthralled by the layers upon layers of tragedy woven together? also yes. it was so neat to see the (obviously many and major) differences from the children's movie and musical that i grew up loving. so many good quotes for my commonplace book in this one.

song of solomon by toni morrison

i had read just about every toni morrison book except this one, and since this is like theee book i figured it was high time i rectified that. to no one's surprise, i loved it. a brilliantly written coming of age novel with family history and family mythology in dialogue with cultural history and cultural mythology. who are we but the stories we tell ourselves? is common history alone enough to have in common? morrison is an author who poses difficult questions and lets her readers grapple with difficult answers and i always come away from her work feeling exhilarated. if you let me influence you in anything let it be this - whatever book of hers you choose, Everyone should read toni morrison and experience her brilliance firsthand.

the first law trilogy by joe abercrombie (the blade itself, before they are hanged, and last argument of kings, respectively)

gritty political fantasy with the most lovable evil bastards of characters you ever met - it's safe to say i'm obsessed. each and every character has themes and lines of repetition that carry through the series, but they're Anything but one-note. this trilogy is all about cycles, and what i love is that everything - literally everything - comes full circle while still feeling fresh and true to both the story and its characters. also logen ninefingers is my wife now.

the pale blue eye by louis bayard

i watched this movie first on netflix and had a great time, but to no one's surprise i'm going to tell you that the book is better. the character voices are strong and enjoyable - the kinds of personalities that keep you turning pages - and the mystery itself is full of wonderful twists and turns. it's in dialogue with sir arthur conan doyle, as all post-holmes detective fiction is, but does not feel shadowed by or beholden to it. the historical fiction aspect is fun as well!

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

I'm not sure if that's gonna make sense but I was in ace/aro circles a while back (I hadn't unpacked a ton of stuff about how I was objectified in my relationships) and I really dislike the food comparison. Like no matter how they spin it to me it always sounds like some incel thing about how "allo people NEED to have sex unlike us". Not to judge but idk tumblr feels like a bunch of people who lived in very puritanical environments all put in a room together and they're all trying to look more sexually liberated than the other in wrong ways. I feel like this about how they constantly defend prostitution and onlyfans uncritically, or kinks and everything. I feel like whenever you point out the misogyny in what they think they take it personally because of all this. Hopefully this rambling made a tiny bit of sense.

yeah this is very real !! don't worry this makes a lot of sense to me, thank you for the ask!

I've also noticed in aroace spaces there is a narrative around allosexual people as if they constantly measure everyone they meet as a possible sexual prospect, when most people who aren't aro and/or ace definitely do not think like that. most people are pretty normal, and you can usually fit them into some kind of general sexuality like lesbian, gay, bisexual or straight. I think maybe aroace spaces just tend to internalize the myth of sex "hungry" allos due to confirmation bias and mostly only noticing allo people who do behave like that (usually people-well, usually men-who are really into porn and kink) since they're really loud about it.

and I think sexual attraction is complicated! but not in the "we need a million microlabels to fit into a community for some reason" but in the "human sexuality manifests differently for everyone because everyone is their own unique person and is influenced by different experiences in their lives." I guess some people use microlabels to help them understand their unique sexuality, but man, you have to admit sometimes it's a bit overkill.

I think something funny is that what made me start to shy away from identifying as aroace was because for a sexuality that essentially meant a lack of attraction, they sure liked bringing it up all the time whenever people talked about attraction! which honestly made me self-conscious I was becoming one of those people myself. I love talking, but if I didn't have anything to contribute to a conversation I'd rather... well, not contribute! I sometimes wonder if aroace discussion and community keeps getting pushed into larger lgbt discussion because by itself the lack of something doesn't really have much to discuss or bond over.

sometimes I wish I could radio broadcast a statement about how online community based on identity should not be held to such a high regard, and you should find communities based on more material parts of yourself that actually enrich your life instead of turning into an identity affirming ouroboros. that, and if you're questioning your sexuality, don't watch porn :-|

[plushiehamuko]

for me the narrative between byakuya and toko has always been the idea of wrong person. bc they make each other worse, but that doesn't mean they're bad people. toko shows us that she can be caring and loving towards someone else, but that byakuya brings out that obsessive side of her and with byakuya we see him genuinely care about others without the abuse he constantly flings at toko

SO TRUE SO TRUE!!! you are so right! i am going to talk a lot bc toko gives me so many brainworms

when it comes to toko's byakuya obsession, i always go back to the one particular bonus conversation from ultra despair girls that comes up when you find the so lingers the ocean book (this video has all of them for reference!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vITxgxLL8vQ&ab_channel=GameMoviesCult ) bc toko says something that really speaks to her character and it really stuck with me - that the reason she writes romance novels is because she truly believes that she can never have a healthy relationship like the ones she writes in real life.

toko fixates on byakuya as an unachievable desire and tortures herself obsessing over him because as she states herself, she thinks she will never find someone who actually cares about her. i honestly think it's because he treats her terribly that she fixates on him in particular - if anything, after her prior romantic experiences where people pretended to care about her just to use it as a way to turn around and make fun of her, she has lost confidence in the idea that anyone who is nice to her actually genuinely cares about her. she at least knows that byakuya isn't lying to her because of the way he treats her, and that honesty is refreshing to her even if it is abusive.

and then komaru comes around and changes her mind to the point that she feels so happy and loved that she questions if she can even write her novels in the same way because her writing is fueled by that loneliness she has experienced for her whole life. we see a side of toko where she shows love in a way that is more natural and genuine. i do think that letting toko's relationship with komaru be enough for her to at least start overcoming her byakuya obsession would have made udg a lot better for her development, and i remember my immense disappointment that the game ended on a note where she is still obsessed with him in the same way as she was since the beginning.

meanwhile, with byakuya, he is quite obviously disinterested in toko's advances which is fine in itself, but the way he handles it is what puts him in the wrong - i see people defending his treatment of toko because of her own actions, and i agree to an extent when it comes to him simply being rude to her, but he outted her did to everyone and tried to frame her for murder, he told her to harm herself with a taser, and there are some other similar instances are when he takes things waaaay too far. i also don't like the way that he takes advantage of her obsession by forcing her to do tasks and favors for him - if anything, he's enabling her rather than getting her to leave him alone, and it never sits right with me.

however, someone like makoto brings out the good side of byakuya, and it's clear that he genuinely cares about him in a lot more healthy way. we see this character development a little bit in the end of thh and dr3, but once again, i think it would have been better for the sake of his character development and toko's if we saw her at least start to progress out of her obsession by the end of udg!!

sorry for the literal essay. i love these two so much and think about this constantly

[antisocialxconstruct]

So the poll(s) you put up have spawned a lot of interesting discussion. And I definitely agree that a bit of introspection - why do we trend towards the characters we do? or why do we trend towards the options that we do in a world where we can do anything without true consequence? - are interesting questions. Genuinely! It's a fascinating discussion. You've posited in answer to this that some people having the inability to be nasty, mean or evil is because they might still feel bound to the social contract of real life, and they're not escaping the expectations and losing themselves to the fantasy even if they don't realise it. And for some I imagine that's probably true! But - and I don't think I've seen this in a previous ask, but maybe I've missed one in which case sorry for bringing it up again lmao - couldn't it also be that the reason you choose to be evil or morally grey is the same for why some choose to be unapologetically good? The social contract tells us we have to be nice, even when we don't want to be. So yes, it does make sense that for some people, being able to do ostensibly morally grey or even clearly evil things is very freeing. Totally fair! But also, can't the same said about being able to willingly choose to be good? Can't it go both ways? Because I feel like people who choose to be recklessly good, or who choose to be unwaveringly kind; they're having the same fantasy you are and it is manifesting in a different way.

They could choose to be villains. Some do. But maybe some people - when they're living in the world where they have the money, the power, the ability to ignore consequence - maybe they choose to be forces for good because there's a satisfaction and a fantasy for them that they refuse to be like a lot of the people in our real world today. People who have all the money, all the power, the ability to buy their way out of the social contract, and use it constantly to hurt, to make worse, to oppress. We live in a world where every day, we all (and some of us more than others) suffer for the whims and the wants of people basically living in their own RPG where they're often untouchable no matter how much us little NPCs would like or even need the world to be different.

Personally me, I have characters that are both. I have characters that I play when the rage in me is too strong and I'm too angry; I cannot forgive the fact we live in the world we do and I want revenge, I want to feel in control, I want the freedom to be angry. I want to punish the people who deserve it and upheave the system. And other days, I have characters that I play when I want to make a meaningful difference, where I remember that kindness can change lives as much as rage, where I want the freedom to be nice because I wanted to be, not because I had to be. I want to forgive the people who made a mistake and protect the weak and the vulnerable, instead of being a bystander to suffering (let alone perpetuate it.)

Both are valid, imo. Whether you lean towards one, or whether you lean towards the other, or whether you embroil yourself in both. I just think they're two sides of the identical coin. And sorry if this got a bit too "real" I guess. A lot of discussion has looked at this from a point that many games can't satisfyingly generate narratives towards morally grey or even villainous choices (true) but I've been thinking about this a lot personally in much more real terms, partly due to my mum. My mum's a nurse in the UK NHS, always has been. Loves helping people. She's had her toes broken, she's been shouted at, she's been shoved around, she's had people try fight her, she's been left out to dry by her bosses or even blamed for things junior nurses did during the day shift that she had to clean up on the night shift. She caught The Sickness during the pandemic and now suffers the ramifications of that with heart problems and memory issues she's never had before in her life. And she still chose to be a nurse and help people and do unwavering good, in the fact of abuse and a crumbling system that constantly left her out to dry when things failed in order to protect her bosses. She could have changed jobs, moved around in the NHS to different wards, she did at many points have the chance to leave a broken system. Never did though. She's only just now leaving and trying to transfer to a quieter hospital more because of her ailing health than anything else.

I couldn't do that job. I couldn't be my mum. I'm too angry of a person when injustices happen. I'm too loud when people mistreat me, instead of just taking it. As much as I do enjoy helping those who need it when I can, I couldn't do that job and go back to it the way she has. Which, idk, all that is to say, maybe this question you're asking about RPGs is more real than just RPGs. Maybe it goes beyond the idea of a social contract sometimes - just, many of us aren't in a position in our real lives where we have the ability to swing one way or another, so the RPG is the only place where we get faced with the same question.

This is a very heartfelt examination of the general ideas being discussed that unfortunately I can't add much to (especially on the tail end of my lunch break lmao), but I do think you're getting at sort of the same idea @entering--hyperspace was in his ask. I have some final (for now?) thoughts on this subject but I'm not going to put them here, I just wanted to publish this because you clearly put a lot of time and thought into it and it ought to be included in the discussion 👍

[seeingteacupsindragons]

What are your thoughts on unreliable narrators, and how would you go about writing one?

Anon, you are either one of the new people here, or you are asking this to ask a question/see what I do. Because I talk about this. Constantly. It's one of my favorite things, and I honestly think all narrators should be unreliable in some way, because all humans are biased and are unreliable in some way in our interpretation of things.

It's part of developing a strong narrator, a strong character whose perspective you're in, and a strong voice. In my opinion.

Here's a post that basically sums up most of my thoughts.

Heck, here's me talking about it in 2015 with some very short, probably unhelpful, tips.

I think what you really want to do, when writing an unreliable narrator, is have the narrative actually contradict what the character's thoughts/opinions are. Or have entirely valid differences of opinion expressed.

One of my older characters (I first wrote him when I was about 15, although he wasn't an unreliable narrator at the time), and one of the protagonists of the first book I queried...wasn't actually the narrating perspective of the book. But he was a traumatized teenager, and so sometimes things he explained about his family or how magic worked for him, were just...not true? Because he was a kid and wasn't privy to everything.

So, I had the actual narrating character parrot some of this information to other people, because he believed it, and other people, who had different information about the situation would be like, "Wait, what? That's not true," and the actual...things happening in the work would bear out that that way he thought things worked were not...true. He managed to blame someone he admitted to having always disliked for his brother's death, and it was going to be addressed a couple books later that, like, it's not actually that person's fault and he, a grieving teenager who lost his brother, found a way to blame someone he already resented. That's a very human thing to do. But it doesn't make it true.

And one of my more recent ones was a witch in a modern day setting. He was convinced his familiar was a demon (and all familiars were), and referred to him as such. One of his friends was raised with a different relationship to magic, and thought familiars were guardian spirits. One of them has to be wrong. Neither is ever proven wrong. But both are entirely valid interpretations of the situation.

Because if you're writing an unreliable narrator, at some point the reader actually has to know they're not entirely trustworthy. Maybe it's not the narrator's fault and they're not malicious. But reality as it happens in the story needs to conflict with what they're saying.

I don't understand how a character could narrate a story without those warping it in some way.

Sometimes, this might read like a plot hole (especially to inexperienced readers), but I would argue this is a different thing. This isn't the events of a story contradicting each other or themselves. This is the events of a story contradicting what a character said. And it's important to keep these distinct.

And I like to write arguments where both characters are kind of right and both characters are kind of wrong, the way...most disagreements in real life probably are. People are just sort of messy and bring their own biases and opinions into everything.

[michaelmilligan]

27 36 39 :)

Ask game time! :D

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Hmmm. I'd say the most stressful characters to write are the ones I personally dislike. As in, not necessarily the ones who are bad/mean people, because they can be great characters. (Looking at you, Michael!) But the ones I'd want to remove from the narrative with a flame-thrower. So I'd say John Winchester is definitely up there, but I also have a WIP with AU!Michael in the Dean vessel and yeah... That guy always makes me want to get out a baseball bat whenever he's on screen in the show, and I'm trying to accurately portray him in the WIP, so he makes my blood pressure go up, lol.

Generally, I'd say writing people who have a calm demeanour and smile a lot but will absolutely kill your family without a second thought is stressful. Unless those characters are also cool and I like them. Hope this helps. <3

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

Ah. Very little. I constantly have to google things like 'How do grades work in high schools in Minnesota' or 'Supermarkets in the US' to make sure I don't embarrass myself too much. But okay, that's because I don't live in the US and can only pick up so much from media.

On a less geographically specific note, I always fear my insight into and understanding of people, their motivations and thoughts, is lacking. Especially when the people I write about have different opinions and life experiences from me.

Wait, this was about what I DO know. Okay. So:

1. Bert and Ernie are gay...

2. There's a difference between the median and the average of things, and you should always differentiate which one is used (if any of the two - there are also other measurements) and be critical about what that number actually means. Especially in statistics, when conclusions are drawn from certain figures in a study and stuff like that. Just. Be aware. (Also be aware of percentages. A 50% rise in probability sounds like a lot and possibly alarming until you look at the actual numbers and realize the probability has gone up from 1% to 1.5%.)

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

This is a difficult question. There have been times in my life where I've barely written (if at all), but it was more that I had other things going on rather than me giving up. I mostly write for myself, and have only recently started sharing the fanfics part online. (It's been a little more than a year.)

Before that, only my closest friends and family got so much as glimpses of my writing (mostly original stuff). Writing is almost automatic for me - the ideas are there, anyway, and I spend a lot of time in my own head thinking about them. Writing them down is just a way to retain the ideas, to bring them in a form that I can enjoy again later on. (Yes, I read my own stuff. No, I don't always like it. But some of it is entertaining.)

So writing is more an outlet so that the stories don't get lost in my brain. And even when the writing is bad, the idea is still preserved, and I could always re-write it to salvage the story.

As for specific stories... Sometimes it's hard to get myself to write, but it's mostly because I get hung up on a certain scene and don't know how to get to a part that's more fun. This can keep a story in limbo for a long time. But what usually helps is to - once again - spend some time in my own head thinking of that scene, getting myself motivated for it again. And then forcing myself to put sentences into my Open Office Doc, even if they're not great. I can always fix them later. As long as there's a basis I can go back and re-do it.

So tl;dr: I don't really ever think about stopping to write. If anything, I would stop sharing my writing. Because the stories are a part of my life and I don't want to lose any of them (Shout out to my fifty billion WIPs). I'd still write if I thought I was terrible (which I do sometimes) and if I lost motivation I'd just take a break (on a specific story or just in general) and then come back later more refreshed.

[scoundrels-in-love]

This might be cheating, but:

Your honest opinion about the most fic-prolific pairing in your current hyperfixation

Hi, thank you for asking!

So, I'm going to be honest, I thought this question about pairing I've written about the most in Trigun/Tristamp (Mashwood) and my sibling thought you meant the pairing with most fics in the fandom overall (Vashwood).

So, I'm giving you both answers, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Mashwood

First of all, the name. Not the worst or the best named ship I've sailed (Captain Swan vs Jisbon, fight), but it does amuse me. Let's mash that wood, people.

I have to admit that I've not read TriMax/watched 98 anime, but I have my opinions from what I know, so there's that.

And one of them is that I think that no matter how you look at them, romantic or platonic in one or multiple angles, there is something really special about their bonds. Something where I have a hard time isolating just one specific pairing out because they're always in such a flow of impacting each other constantly. (At least until narrative takes away Wolfwood and even that brands and breaks and reforges the remaining two and their (future) relationship.)

One of the things that really gets me is how I think that any one of them think the other two are better suited together. Vash looks at Meryl and Wolfwood and sees two ultimately humans who have all this fire, who challenge him and do not bend, who butt heads with each other, but often because they're so similar and because they want what's best (for each other, for Vash), who learn from each other and lean on each other in quiet ways. Of course they fit together, they're the two who can have a family in ways he thinks he can never give them.

Meryl looks at Vash and Wolfwood and sees two deeply traumatized people who can understand each other the way she never can. She will never know the blood and the pain like they do, being broken over and over again, and raising up to stride toward their goals. She can never guard their backs in gunfire like they can trust each other in this. Of course they fit together, forged in similar awful fires and yet holding so much love in their hearts beneath their armor that only they know how to take off of each other.

Wolfwood looks at Vash and Meryl and sees two stubborn people who are so good it hurts to look at them at times. Something he profoundly believes he is not. Two people who care about noble things, two people who somehow manage to change and bend the world around them into something more akin to their vision. Of course they fit together, two idealists not long for this world.

And yet, the thing is, all of them fit together perfectly. There is the exact space for all of them, the shape isn't complete without what they individually bring. In fact, the chances it even comes to exist is because they're all there. Yes, it can be reformed if one isn't there anymore or has never been met, but it will always have a crook in one of the lines that misses the third.

Vashwood As I said in previous part, I have harder time isolating individual pairings. When I try to write it, the third almost always sneaks in and when I am reading fic, I keep looking for mentions of the missing one as well. Even when I know that Wolfwood is most likely dead by that point in narrative, I want him to be acknowledged as having existed and impacted their lives. Nonetheless, I do enjoy the Vash and Wolfwood dynamics, they are so damn important to each other in narrative and in the human way of caring, loving. There is no story of Vash without Wolfwood and the other way around. The tragedy of loving and losing Wolfwood changes Vash, makes him face some bitter and painful truths about his life and what he has to do. They get each other like no one else, in the silliness reclaimed from the horrors and in the pain of the horrors as well. They deserve to be happy and together so much. And in the same way, the story has doomed them from the start. So, off to AU world we go. Because I'll give them happy times even if I have to do it my damn self.

Send me a ship for brutally honest opinion?<3

[runawaymarbles]

7, 15, and 18 for the ask meme?

Weird Writing Ask Meme

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

It's hard to narrow it down, but one of my favorite parts-- that's a genuine pure favorite and never makes me want to bang my head against a wall-- is when I find unexpected ways to bring things I'm interested in together. When I realize that a weirdly niche rabbit hole I went down a few years ago could suddenly be plot relevant, or some analogy lines up to something else I'm doing. (Getting to bring Caravaggio's Artichoke Toss into a GO fic or when I was binging Myths and Legends's Arthuria episodes and realizing it worked perfectly with an x-men fic I was struggling with, etc.)

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

It depends on the book. I don't dog-ear pages, and I don't write in hardbacks, but I've been known to underline paperbacks. I will read hardbacks in the bath if they're not too long. If I saw someone writing in an old book or a fist edition or something I might have a moment of "aaaahhh!" but I don't hold mass market books as inherently precious

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

“Our traditional design ties together the partners’ initials with the blue line of Life and the deer of Death... For where Life goes, Death always follows; and where Death goes, Life continues. Theirs is the most profound of bonds, and one we try to emulate with each marriage.”

(From The Mixtape, Or: Six Things You Learn in Thursday School)

I spent a lot of time revising the bits of "scripture" in this fic, because I was trying to walk the line between what I could imagine someone treating as sacred text-- looking for meanings, lessons, comfort, etc-- and what would be funny for the reader who knows the actual plot of Supernatural. (Especially for those reading it during the pandemic: I still think that the Council of Nicea equivalent being the "Teleconference of Lawrence" is funny. That's also why settlements are called "pods" in this fic.)

Originally, this passage was explaining how Castiel was the Angel of Death-- the joke being that he doesn't cause people to die, but that he is in the more literal sense Dean's angel. But I figured he'd need a job or purpose to be of ritual significance. And since one of his main functions in the canonical narrative was to angel ex machina Sam and Dean out of trouble and/or back to life and be a celestial badaid, the Life/healing connection seemed natural-- but I also didn't want to make it seem like he and Death were at odds, each racing to see who got to someone first. So instead they're following each other around (as they did in canon) in the ciiiiiiircle of life. Of course, something that's overlooked by the characters who came up with the wedding rituals is that if they're constantly following each other they are never actually connecting (as they didn't in canon.) .....I'm now realizing that I could have worked in a joke about Schroedinger's box: the only place Life and Death can successfully stop and rest. Alas. I tried to keep the Angel of Death as one of Life's alternate names but between the conflation of Dean/Death/Hell/Heaven/Purgatory and Cas/Life and merging John-Chuck and Sam-Jack another name was going to make me lose track of what's going on, much less the poor suckers reading this.

Anyway it's all very Deep and Symbolic except that they think Dean's impala is a literal deer, they've forgotten what neckties are, and they used the phrase "profound bond" in conversation. Also the irony that Dean and Cas's frankly deranged, unstable, and occasionally toxic friendship rife with communication issues has been warped in the historical record as something that should be emulated in a stable marriage.

This whole fic was really an exercise in what jokes I could imagine a specific priest I know saying with gravitas and full sincerity.

[im-frickin-trying-okay]

Random BNHA Headcanons

(This is my first time doing this 😭)

Summary: A bunch of random BNHA headcanons. So, basically the title. The only reason I’m adding a read more is because I want it to be easier to navigate my page, lol

Bakugo is oddly nice when he first wakes up, but he's not exactly a morning person. He's less "I hate the world, why am I awake???" And more like "I'm extremely comfortable and the only thing that can ruin my mood is becoming less comfortable." He likes hovering between awake and asleep, y'know? Which is why if he's sleepy, his guard drops. When leaving the dorms, if he hasn't fully woken up, he goes from "outta my way, shitty-hair," to "mornin' Eijirou," and by the time he's actually aware of what he said, Kiri's already freaking out. If he's in bed all day for any reason other than being sick, he's probably soft for at least a few hours.

Kaminari's the type to wake up at 2 AM with an idea, go to jot it down, and then realize that he wrote a ten chapter book and now he's late for class. He'll probably put it into a google doc or something, so he can continue to add onto it throughout the day. I also feel like he probably will also randomly get a question and then spend hours researching it and any surrounding topics, before rambling to Kiri about "bro, if I went to the beach, I could make a bunch of glass! Probably! Maybe!" And then have to try and convince his friends that he can just make windows if anyone needs them.

Sero had added moves to his skill set, and practiced particular actions, with the sole intention of mimicking Spiderman. When Kirishima questions him on it, he compares Spiderman to Crimson Riot. They have a conversation that's essentially fanboying, both of them saying "we are not bringing All Might into this," and then more fanboying.

Jirou has an extremely eclectic music taste. If you can name a song, she probably knows it. She can memorize full melodies and all the lyrics within two or three listens, because she's just that good. Some people call her the human Shazam, because if you play the first five seconds of a song she likes, she'll immediately know what it is. She's also called out artists if they made a clear rip-off of a much better song. Her music taste is all over the place, which therefore makes it superior. However. This does not stop her from listening to the same six songs on repeat for a week. The six change a lot, though.

Koda has trouble with bugs, especially big ones. They scare him. But he has pretty much no issues with tigers, lions, horses, or even wolves. He loves animals, he really does. If you just showed up at his doorstep and shoved a bear cub in his arms, he wouldn't really question it, because he'd be happy to have a cute animal to play with.

Todoroki believes himself to be the opposite of moody. His definition of moody is switching emotions for no reason. He, personally, doesn't feel any emotion until something happens that day, be it a thought or an event, and his emotions stay fixed like that until something else happens. He could be having a great day, and then suddenly, it's a horrible day, and he can't figure out how people just "get over it." He does, however, find that unless something REALLY bad or REALLY good happens, his brain does a little emotional reset when he goes to sleep. Like, go to sleep feeling down, wake up feeling kinda meh.

Kirishima has considered re-dying his hair. Come on, hot pink is so manly! How could he not consider it? But he eventually resigns himself, because red just is his color now. Also, I feel like once, before dorms, he was really out of it, so he went to class with his hair down, and this was the first time anyone had seen him like that, and everyone was just confused as hell. Especially Bakugo. "Your hair's less shitty today. What the fuck."

Uraraka takes part in stupid bets all the time. Partially for the fun, and partially for the profit. She once floated Bakugo to the ceiling for 26 minutes before she had to put him down, because Kiri said that if she survived, he'd give her a dollar per minute. She ended up having to go to the recovery girl's office, but at least she got her money.

Mina is one of the few people who can understand and keep up with Deku's mumbling. This is not because she specifically tries to, (like Uraraka) or because she's known him long enough, (like Bakugo.) She's just used to gossipping with Hagakure at 4 AM, and therefore can understand high-speed low-volume speech. She's called him out on things before, but only when she's interested. She completely tunes out things about All Might and heroes and whatnot, but if he ever has anything to say about his classmates, specifically about Uraraka, Todoroki, and Bakugo, (because she, Hagakure, and Denki placed bets,) she hears every word.

Iida secretly loves to break the rules. He acts strict in front of anyone who he respects, or wants respect from, but after he thinks everyone's asleep, he relaxes, doing things that he considers rule-breaking without any remorse. Denki heard someone walking around outside while on one of his late-night internet searches. After finally willing himself to break away from an article about pandas, he popped his head out of the door to find Iida sneaking around. After some silent observation, Denki realized that not only did Iida just get back from breaking curfew, but he casually stole Hot Cheetos from Bakugo's room on the way back to his dorm. He said nothing the next day, at least not directly, but he sorta shoved Sero and Iida in the same room so that they could be bad influences on each other.

Despite it being a major part of her quirk, Hagakure almost never feels invisible. She has a lot of friends to talk to, she can wear cool outfits to stand out, and she is always talking. The only time she's not talking is during stealth training, and when she's using said stealth training to spy on people.

Tsu's little "ribbit" thing is actually just for fun. It feels right to do it, so she does it. Nothing wrong with that. However, pretty much everyone else assumed it was a part of her quirk. It took an insane amount of convincing to get that idea out of their heads. Deku was proud to be one of the few who never actually associated it with her quirk. He could prove it if he wanted to, actually, but that would require showing someone his notebook, which would open a whole other can of worms.

Oh yeah, speaking of Deku's notebook, he has multiple. Six to be exact. One is on his fellow classmates, one is on most pros, one is on the LOV, one is specifically on All Might, one is on his own quirk development, and the last one is a narrative of what's happening in his life, which is why he's constantly thinking as if he's telling a story. He mentally narrates everything that happens in his life, although he sometimes wonders if he's dramatizing things because of that. His internal monologue is constantly running its mouth, and sometimes he ends up speaking over it.

Tokoyami really likes plague doctors. He just does. He wants a plague doctor mask so he can walk around with less judgement, or maybe more, who knows? He just loved the concept. He claims that they're just really cool, which most people agree with, but he's never told any of them that he likes them because he saw a plague doctor mask for the first time at the age of six, and immediately thought bird man.

Sato likes baking, but he can't cook normally to save his life. Well, he can, but he can't. He hasn't burned water, and he knows how to do the very basics, but he can't function without a recipe, not to mention the fact that he's googled how to saute mushrooms three times and still doesn't get it. Baking comes pretty naturally. Exact measurements, precise times and temperatures. Cooking does not. Eyeballing ingredient amounts, guessing if the flame is high enough, trying to figure out how often 'stir occasionally' is. He actually once asked Bakugo if he had advice, to which he responded, "Why the hell are you asking me?!"

[fakeikemen]

The Roku/Sozin ancestry plot twist for Zuko

Like I’m sure this has been said before but the twist about Zuko being a descendant of both Roku and Sozin is actually a disservice to his character and his narrative as well? The way the narrative frames this reveal along with Iroh's dialogue, it backtracks on a lot of the story we are shown in Book 1&2 (and sometimes it even clashes with some dialogues in Book 3).

Iroh: “Because understanding the struggle between your two great-grandfathers can help you better understand the battle within yourself. Evil and good are always at war inside you, Zuko. It is your nature, your legacy. But, there is a bright side. What happened generations ago can be resolved now, by you. Because of your legacy, you alone can cleanse the sins of our family and the Fire Nation. Born in you, along with all the strife, is the power to restore balance to the world.”

1. This implies that there are equal amounts of good and evil in Zuko and his internal struggle is about choosing one of them.

The core qualities of Zuko as a character are empathy, compassion and kindness. A person who always gets upset when he sees or even thinks about other people in pain, a person who spoke out against powerful people to save lives that were being sacrificed needlessly, a person who shows mercy to people who don’t deserve it, a person who is willing to reach out a hand to save the life of the man who tried to kill him, a person who avoids fights when possible, a person who is willing to fight on behalf of a family he has known for only one night, a person who reaches out to sympathise after being yelled at— a person like this is definitely not struggling with equal parts of good and evil within them.

Zuko does have two selves, but they can be categorised as pre-scar and post-scar.

His pre-scar version is the version who was unabashedly kind and compassionate, who spoke his mind without thinking of consequences. But his post-scar version was a cover up of the pre-scar version. It was a lie that Zuko lived everyday. He convinced himself that this was how he had to be; because this was what Ozai wanted him to be and that there was no other way.

And yet, when the situation is dire and he is depending on his instincts or when he is given a free choice, we see the pre-scar Zuko spring into action. Because that’s who he really is. It’s not a struggle between good and evil within him, it is his supressed self making an appearance when he slips up and fails to maintain his facade.

Perhaps the line that describes his internal struggle the best is this:

Zuko, imitating Iroh: Zuko, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self, reveal itself.

And while this dialogue was played for laughs, it is the most accurate description of how Zuko had to reach for his suppressed self, his real self, to save himself from becoming what Ozai wanted him to be.

2. It also implies that Ozai and Ursa had equal influence on Zuko's upbringing and that he struggled to chose between what was taught to him by Ursa (good) and Ozai (evil).

The idea that Zuko has equal amounts of good and evil inside himself goes hand in hand with idea that the good and evil traits in him have been passed onto him by Ursa and Ozai's upbringings respectively which are legacies of Roku and Sozin.

I don’t need to look any further than “Zuko Alone” to know that Ozai's impact on Zuko's upbringing was slim to none. The flashbacks that we see, are dominated by Ursa's presence. Ozai hardly gets any time onscreen. And when he does, he is shown as a silhouette and when he isn’t a silhouette, we only see him smile at Azula's display of skills and frown at Zuko's attempt.

Ozai was Zuko's father alright, but never in the ways that mattered. We know that Ozai abused Zuko. He constantly belittled him and compared him to Azula. Partially because Zuko lacked the natural talent that Azula had and partially because he lacked the ruthlessness and cruelty that Azula displayed even at her age.

Which made Zuko copy Azula's behaviour to get his father’s acceptance. But whenever Ursa noticed this, she immediately corrected Zuko and clearly told him that it was wrong.

Ozai is never shown to tell Zuko that whatever Ursa told him was wrong. Ozai personally never taught him anything (except that one time). He appreciated Azula's behaviour and encouraged her to keep it up but he just kept on expressing his disappointment in Zuko.

Ursa: Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.

Zuko's innate kindness and compassion were protected by Ursa in the formative years when he was at his most pliable. And this is why no matter what happens, he never loses these qualities and is able to retain his real self even after he tried hard to suppress it.

3. It diminishes the extent of psychological damage and trauma caused by the scarring incident.

The one time Ozai did take it upon himself to teach something to Zuko:

Ozai: You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.

(Notice that here too Ozai's form is silhouetted against the light behind him.)

The scar is so much more than just a scar to Zuko. It is the one lesson that Ozai taught him. The scar exists because of Zuko's innate compassion. It was put on his face in an attempt to burn out his compassion. It was put there to be a constant reminder of what would happen if he dared to do something that went against what Ozai wanted from him. The scar was Ozai’s brand on his face. It took away Zuko's autonomy to make decisions for himself. It was a constant reminder that Zuko’s opinions didn’t matter.

Post-scar Zuko is Zuko's attempt at supressing his real persona to become the person Ozai wanted him to be, because he learned the hard way that he didn’t have the choice to be anyone else.

In fact, the first time Zuko makes a deliberate choice to go against what was expected of him, (letting Appa go) he succumbed to a fever. His emotional turmoil of coming to terms with the fact that he didn’t need to listen to Ozai and abide by him; a notion that he had been force feeding himself, everyday, for the last three years, manifested itself physically in the form of a fever. That was how deep the psychological damage caused by the scar was. (I hate it when people call it an angst coma.)

Saying that Zuko was struggling with equal amounts of good and evil within him, oversimplifies the complex emotional trajectory he had about coming to terms with the abuse he went through and reclaiming his autonomy and his personal opinions and beliefs, into just a choice between two aspects of his personality.

Zuko: I wanted to speak out against this horrifying plan, but I'm ashamed to say I didn't. My whole life, I struggled to gain my father's love and acceptance, but once I had it, I realized I'd lost myself getting there. I'd forgotten who I was.

4. This implies that Zuko's destiny was pre-determined.

Iroh said in the dialogue that Zuko was born with the power to restore balance in the world and that only he could do it.

Zuko, the character who has always had to struggle to gain what he wanted is suddenly told of an advantage that he had just by the virtue of birth? Kinda defeats the purpose of: "Azula was born lucky; I was lucky to be born", if you ask me.

And even more importantly, he let go of the destiny that Ozai forced on him, only to take on another predetermined destiny; a destiny that was his to fulfil by the virtue of birth, and took steps to fulfil this other destiny, instead of making a destiny of his own and paving his own path to it by making the choices that he had been denied for so long because of Ozai. Which seems weird because all the other times Iroh talks to Zuko about this topic, he always emphasises on how it’s Zuko's choice to make his own destiny:

Lake Laogai:

Zuko: I want my destiny.

Iroh: What that means is up to you.

Lake Laogai:

Zuko: I know my own destiny, Uncle!

Iroh: Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you?

Zuko: Stop it, Uncle! I have to do this!

Iroh: I'm begging you, Prince Zuko! It's time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you, and what do you want?

Crossroads of Destiny:

Iroh: Zuko, I am begging you. Look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want.

Western Air Temple:

Iroh: You know Prince Zuko, destiny is a funny thing. You never know how things are going to work out. But if you keep an open mind, and an open heart, I promise you will find your own destiny someday.

5. It indirectly implies that the good™ in Ursa and Zuko exists because they are a part of the Avatar's legacy.

Making Ursa a daughter of a nobleman (as intended originally)* would’ve served a much better purpose for the message that the episode was trying to get across: “the Fire Nation isn’t inherently evil”.

Katara: You mean, after all Roku and Sozin went through together, even after Roku showed him mercy, Sozin betrayed him like that?

Toph: It's like these people are born bad.

Aang: Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was, right? If anything, their story proves anyone's capable of great good and great evil. Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation have to be treated like they're worth giving a chance.

Had Ursa not been Roku’s descendant, then there would've been people other than just Roku and his descendants, who were Fire Nation and good™. (Iroh is literally the only exception.)

Moreover, Azula is just as much a part of “Roku’s legacy” as Zuko is, and yet is completely overlooked when it comes to it. She isn’t shown to be struggling with equal amounts of good and evil. She isn’t gifted at birth with the capacity to bring balance back to the world. It appears as if she had inherited only “Sozin's legacy”.

So, not only does this Roku/Sozin twist go against Zuko's fundamental characterisation, but it also partially deconstructs the narrative that had been carefully set up for him over the course of 2 seasons.

*(I have been looking relentlessly for the post where I saw two screen caps of the two different characterisations of Ursa: 1. Ursa as we see her in "Zuko Alone"; 2. Ursa as Roku's descendant. And I can't find it now otherwise I would've linked it.)

[sanstropfremir]

I absolutely LOVED reading your kingdom review. You gave me such an insight in things I never even considered, especially since our rankings are so different from each other. The Boyz was my favorite, the narrative was about RTK. How they felt bad for having to compete against their friends but eventually the groups only lifted each other up and it helped TBZ grow into the group they are now through the hardships and mental dilemma, falling into the next challenge right after they reached the top. It should have been more obvious though, I agree, it wasn't really visible for anyone who didn't know. I was wondering how you felt about the dancing in general? my reason for not ranking BTOB high was lack of choreo (and Peniel's verse), same goes for SF9. Mostly because I don't feel the hype when watching, it doesn't keep my focus on the stage. As a baby-performer myself, my goal is to make the viewer curious about what's next. is that the wrong way to look at it? that's what I've always been told, building the tension up and down to create focus. would love to hear your feedback on that! thank you so much for sharing, we need more reviews of people who actually know what they're talking about.

i'm glad that you got some insight from it! like i answered in the previous ask im here to hopefully bring some more depth and understanding for people that care and are curious!

you unintentionally proved my point about tbz’s performance: that is way too complicated! even the most talented solo dancers i can think of would have trouble distilling that down to something readable in 100 seconds, much less a group of like, a dozen people! the introductory stages are meant to show us the character of the group and their abilities in the most concise way possible, it's not the stage to do deep philosophical and emotional introspection. for a full stage? absolutely, go hog wild! but for this stage it was too ambitious and ultimately was ineffective to anyone that isn't a fan of them specifically. 

by dancing in general do you mean like, every group? i put most of my opinions on the dancing where i had them in each of the individual rankings but honestly? unless there is something that really stands out positively or negatively, a lot of ‘average’ kpop dance looks the same to me. i know it’s not, obviously, and if pressed i probably could do a more serious breakdown, but dance is only one element of performance. it has equal weight with all the others in my mind, and therefore i notice when it is either 

very good

does something unique

very bad, or

interferes with another element

which is the same as how i evaluate every element, if that makes sense. 

hmmmm. i thought about this a lot in the shower and turns out i had more opinions that i expected so i'll put them under a cut.

firstly, i don't think lack of choreo should be penalized or considered an ‘incomplete’ performance. at the end of the day, these are bands, and a part of their brand/product they sell is the music. complex choreo does not need to be attached to that to make it a successful performance. also, btob did have choreo. any movement on stage is technically choreography. but this terminology can cause confusion so usually non-dance choreo is referred to as ‘blocking.’ but they also did include the song’s original point choreo at 1.41. the blocking in their performance was well thought out and suited the arrangement, by placing spatial emphasis on each part of the song that needed it. obviously it comes down to personal taste if the performance is ultimately ‘successful,’ because all art is subjective, but just because something isn't as visually complex as something else doesn’t mean it doesn't have the same level of thought. think of it like this: one is a super clean-lined post-post-modern grey/white living room, and the other is a kitsch goth basement. both share interior design principles and have obvious care put into the space, but they are vastly different styles that appeal to different tastes.

part of the job of production designer/AD is to decide what gets emphasis. a question you're always asking yourself is ‘is this important to the story that we’re trying to tell?’ and btob/their AD made a very smart choice with their introductory stage because it says a lot about them and their abilities in a short amount of time. that stage said ‘our foundation is strong, we have the training and experience and confidence to be up here and not rely on visual tricks.’ because they know they physically cannot do the things the 4th gen groups can; they're a decade older and they only have four members, it's just not feasible. something you learn with experience is the power that specific and pointed emphasis holds, which segues into my answer to your last question. i don't necessarily think that ‘building hype’ is the wrong way to perform something, but i do think it is a flawed way to approach creating a performance.

i think that ‘hype’ is flawed concept at its core, and one that focuses on the idea that there’s always being something more, something next, beyond the work itself. now there’s nothing wrong with playing with tension within the internal structure of a piece, that's exactly how constructing a narrative happens. however, the flaws come once we extrapolate beyond the boundaries of that individual work. the idea of ‘whats next’ implies that you have to constantly be promoting, have a sequel coming, building hype etc so people will keep engaged with your work. which is deeply capitalistic in nature and operates on the assumption that art exists purely as a product to be sold. and in order to keep selling you need to keep making a bigger and better and more spectacular product. and this is not the case at all. marketability is not the essence of art, it merely a factor of creating it under this insufferable system. kpop in particular suffers from this because the industry is specifically fabricated to produce capitol. we can have discussions all day about idols and their artistic integrity but at the end of that day, they are all cogs working with a system that was specifically made up by essentially one person to be culturally exported and to just print buckets of money. so in following that train of thought, there is a constant attitude of bigger and better because shock value (whether positive or negative) gets social media attention and therefore it sells. and it has become exponentially easier (and also seemingly required) to make things that are bigger and better than ever before. i remember being blown away by the projection floor at the sochi 2014 olympics because something of that scale and complexity would never have been possible without literally having the funding of the olympics. now that technology is easily accessible to anyone with an amazon account and the time to learn how isadora works. in comparison, it took 2400 YEARS for just the job of a ‘theatre designer’ to be even become a job at all.

because of kpop’s fan culture it is especially prone to ‘hype’ behaviour. in general with the accessibility of the internet and social media, everything has turned into a competition, and who can generate the most buzz ‘wins’. but ultimately that has taken away the general public’s ability to recognize that you can enjoy something quietly and you can enjoy something slowly. that the enjoyment of something doesn’t need to be all exclamation marks and keysmashes and trending hashtags on twitter. there is value in a work engaging in an emotion within you that is not just excitement. most of the artists and companies that i consume the work of i don’t do so because their work makes me excited, i do so because i liked the experience of engaging with that work. several years ago i saw the eternal tides by legend lin dance theatre, which you can watch a really short clip of here. that is not slow motion, that is actually how slow the dancers are moving. and 90% of the show is performed like that. and its two hours long. and it was one of the most incredible performances i've ever seen. if i ever get the chance I will go see another one of their shows again, not because i care about how they can top that experience i had, but because i know they can produce that experience, and that is enough to make me want to seek them out again. the speed of the internet has also loosened the general public’s understanding of just exactly how long creating a performance work can take. the lead dancer in the eternal tides was with the company for eight years before she and the piece were ready enough to be performed. large scale operas, musicals, and plays often have a year or more of pre-production before they even get to rehearsal. smaller theatre companies workshop new pieces for years at a time. performance is hard and it takes time. you can eliminate some of that with sheer amounts of money and people, which is what the kpop industry has done, but it speeds up the cycle of consumption to a degree that is not sustainable, especially for companies and creators who do not have that kind of access. performers and performance makers often don't put enough trust in their audiences. if they like what they see, they will come back. they dont need to be constantly bombarded with content at all times.

now that i’ve said a bit about why i think hype is a flawed concept, let's bring it back to kingdom. sf9 did something very interesting with their stage in that they actively chose to limit their dance time. and this plays very well off the performance film stage that taeyang did a couple of weeks ago. taeyang is talented and confident (for good reason), and his solo was incredible. but when it came to the intro stage, instead of trying to one-up the solo stage, the group instead said ‘well people are going to be looking at us because taeyang is insanely talented, so let's show them that we ALL have the confidence and the attitude to be up here.’ no need for flashy theatrics, they had the foresight to do something that would make them stand out from the rest of the groups. even if i was just casually watching the stages without doing any analysis on them (like i did for rtk), i would still be able to distinguish them because they had the stones to stand around for half their stage time. now i recognize them and would like to see what else they can do. same principle as what btob and also what ikon did. there is a fine line between anticipation and hype that gets equated in media consumption nowadays, but the two are not the same.

i think the tldr on this is that you dont need to ‘build hype’ or ‘go all out’ to make an interesting work. just focus on telling the narrative that you want to tell, and the people that recognize that will come. i could have a lot more things to say about peoples shrinking attention spans and the constant stream of information that we consume on a daily basis that devalues the labour done by artists in the eyes of the public and promotes hustle culture that is burning out and damaging creators at a rate that is both exponential and frightening, but that’s probably for another time, because this is SO LONG