#the world's most fantastic freaks

[manny-jacinto]

some food i had in vietnam

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Sugar, Spice and a Tempting Vice (1)

VA! MC x OM! Characters

TW: Eh it's more fluffy than smutty I'd say, but minors DNI. Loads of random lore for the sake of immersion. Now to brainstorm the rest of the characters.

INTRO

Tagging: @romaissa @eliciana @your-favorite-god @april-notthemonth69 @ikevampharem @k8tznd8wgz @futureittomain @m-majoko @the-auguer @yurinayumi @i-am-empress-irish @deepazur @rippedbutnotamasterpiece @pomegranateboba @ra1ns70rm @anjodedesgostoeerros @sammywo @annoyingbiscuitathleteland-blog @ourfinalisation @creativecupcake @snowthatareblack @angelofbooksworld

"After a freak accident, you and a group of 5 people get teleported into a fantastical world together. Who will you team up with to try and leave this place? Or will they convince you to stay and have a new life with them here instead? Or will you stumble across the biggest secret that this new world holds...?"

You read out the summary for them at a group dinner at Diavolo's castle. Apparently, it was to celebrate your debut as a VA. They all clapped and bombarded you with questions. You tried to answer as many as you could without any spoilers.

They were supposed to have already started playing the game but the game servers got a little overwhelmed and had to go under maintenance with so many people downloading and making accounts at the same time. So Diavolo hosted this party instead.

"So how many endings can you get with a single character?" Simeon inquired.

"Well on an average there's around 12 endings per character, but there's a varying number of endings depending on the character you choose. I'm not sure I remember for all of them-"

"We just want to know yours." Belphie smirked.

"Oi come on, it makes it sound like you're all just going to play my character, don't do that! The other characters are also incredibly well written!"

The sheepish grins and side glances told you that they were clearly going ignore your last advice.

"Honestly you guys, one of the characters here has a teleportation ability, one can read minds, and another one has insane fighting skills - the only thing you know about my character is that I don't have a name!"

"Omg this means they are definitely building you upto to have the most OP ability of them all!" Levi exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh yes that's usually how it goes in these tropes. The most unassuming character ends up giving you the secret ending." Solomon nodded in agreement.

"Both of you, shush! Just play the game normally okay?! You will get to interact with all the characters anyway until the second phase." You reprimanded, sighing, knowing no one would listen anyway.

Lucifer - Saved by the Belle

"Before Tyla takes us home tomorrow, would you like to spend your last day here with me, Lucifer?"

Lucifer and you worked with loyalty and rigor under Tyla, an old world Sorceror. It was because of you two specifically that Tyla's magic was powerful enough to create a portal back home. Your character was so much like you - it felt like he completed this whole journey of freedom with you, and not just an image on screen.

> "Of course, MC. In fact...I would like to spend the night with you too."

MC blushed on screen, looking away and nodding. "Oh? Well then... I'll look forward to it."

He enjoys this way more than he thought he would. He visits for the last time, all the places you both had been together. The first tavern, the first forest path, the first temporary abode - the HumbleBee Inn.

> "It's late. Should we go back here again, for old times sake?"

"Why not? Maybe they'll accidentally put us in the same room again and get overbooked so we have no other choice. Maybe this time it'll be a bit more...eventful." You said with a sly and knowing smile as you skipped ahead.

Lucifer's knee jerked upwards, hitting the table. Just what kind of lines are these? And what are those expressions? Who else was in there listening to you when you recorded this? The way your voice sounded, Lucifer was convinced you were thinking about someone special. If only you saw the effect you were having on him.

> "I've been holding back all day. Forgive me if I'm too rough."

Lucifer pushes you against the wall, caging your body. You blush in the dark, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. It was driving him insane. He could feel his pants getting tighter at the crotch.

Last time he endured the sexual tension of sharing the bed with you, constantly trying avoid your body even though he was desperate to feel it's warmth. This time there wasn't any reason to deprive himself.

"It's okay...I can take it. Please don't hold back..."

Oh hell, you were about to be the death of him. These...are these really the sounds you'd make in bed? Godamnit you are ruining his mind. He can't relax until he's jerked off now. And it's all your fault.

The next couple days, you notice Lucifer hesitates to keep eye contact with you. In fact, he has a rather visceral reaction every time you simply call his name, standing at his door. Only he knows how badly he wants to pull you into his bed to ravage you - practice your lines with him, why don't you?

Mammon - Stranded Together

"Guess they didn't want either of us huh, Mammon?"

Nah Mammon was mad at this ending. He gets why the group left him behind - he made too many questionable choices like stealing the last reserves of food or money (so you never went hungry), running away from the monsters instead of staying and fighting with the group(with you ofc so you wouldn't be in any danger), finding new shelter and not telling anyone (except you).

> "I'm so sorry...it's because of me that they left you too. You did nothing wrong yet...no this will not stand! I'll go threaten them into taking you too!"

"Mammon wait- no don't! Alright fine I was lying! They didn't leave me...I chose not to go!"

Mammon was stunned. He stared at your character blushing and looking elsewhere while holding onto his arm. His heart beat just a little bit faster.

> "Wait...what? But you wanted to...don't you want to go back and keep looking for your family?!"

"Who knows if the family I was looking for even exists?! But you...you are real. And you are so kind to me, and so great. So..."

Your character moved in closer and closer to him. Mammon leaned back too far from the screen, falling backwards on the floor. He was not ready for what was about to come.

"If I really want a family that bad...I can just make one here...with you. But only if you wanted that too ..."

> "I do! Of course I do! We can both find work and home in the kingdom now that big monsters are all dead! I'll be yours and you'll be mine!"

Mammon pressed it on instinct, not knowing his character was gonna grab yours and pin them to the ground. His face burnt up in excitement seeing you all cornered like this. You blushed and whispered as you leaned in to kiss him.

"Hehe...Mammon...I'm all yours already. But there's others ways you can claim me if you like..."

Your sleeves fell loose, and off your shoulders and his hands began to wander. Mammon almost screamed the house down, grabbing at his sheets, humping his pillows, struggling to look away from the screen. But he couldn't stop.

How the fuck was he supposed to face you tomorrow at the breakfast table?! Yet, Mammon re-played that part at least 30 times. And now every time you whispered to him in class, Mammon had to grip his knees and stop himself from imagining the unholiest things.

Leviathan - Power of Friend-ship??

"We did it! We actually did it, Levi! Can you believe it?! Look even the people are cheering for us!"

Levi punched the air in glee, he definitely must have gotten the best ending right?! That was such an intense combat scene - he almost cried when he thought you got swallowed by the Giant of The Depths, then he watched you burst out of its stomach with all the other victims while he slashed through its neck. You and him - the two underdogs dealt the final blow. At this point, every other character was shipping you two together.

> "Let's go Army of the Third Lord!"

MC cheered and high fived him from the screen, while the rest of the group danced in celebration! Ah MC had already become one of his favourite characters of all time. He had already preordered the action figures, posters and a body pillow (yes the ecchi one).

"Come on Levi, won't you join the celebration feast!? Everyone is calling for you!"

Oh no this was Levi's nightmare. Loud and crowded parties - but it was you asking him to go, what if he missed out on an important secret ending. Just to be safe he chose a neutral option to see what you would prefer.

> ... I'm not too sure.

"Then...would you like to celebrate in private with me? I know a quiet place with a good view."

Levi almost fell out of his seat. It's happening. This is where he unlocks the hidden erotic ending. The blush on your face, the way you held out your hand for him to take - biting down on his knuckles in excitement.

> I'd really prefer that! Thank you!

You smile and nod, leading him by the hand to a nearby pond. The moonlight shimmered on the water, the reflections dancing on your skin as you both lay down next to each other. Levi could feel himself falling for you all over again.

"Look Levi, in the pond! The Gloriees are back! Aren't they beautiful?"

Levi looked at the pond in awe, glowing orange fishes swam around in the waters, jumping in and out. He watched the fishes swim around the hand you put in the water. It was like you and hundred Henries in the water.

> "So beautiful..."

"They are my absolute favorite....they have the same color as your eyes..."

Your hands reach up to touch his face, pulling him closer and Levi feels all his self restraint jump out the window. He tried to grab and kiss you but ended falling in the water with you instead.

"Oh? I didn't know I excite you so much... don't worry, it makes me really happy..."

You rose from the water, laughing and coughing slightly, your entire body now laid bare through the transparent white cloth. And if that wasn't already bad enough, he heard your moans as his character started going at it with you in the lake. You were so professional, so skilled at it...he thought he was prepared for it but he clearly wasn't.

Levi couldn't resist jerking himself off there and then, soiling his computer screen with light ropes of his cum. Now every time you announced you were going to shower, this image just popped into his mind, giving him instant boners at the most unfortunate times. And god forbid he sees you walk out of the shower with your hair wet - he'll have to rush to his room to hide that he's creamed his pants.

Satan - Bridge to Televithyia

"Satan, I will be waiting for you always. I know if fate wills it, I'll definitely get to see you again."

Satan cursed himself for this ending, almost chucking his phone at the wall. His magical powers no longer worked since the portal now connected him to his own world. And while you could use all your magic here, it would lose all power in his world. With both worlds needing help after a long and destructive battle, you both knew it was selfish to abandon your either of them - especially since you two were the only Great Guardians left.

> "I will find a permanent path between our worlds. I swear upon my life, MC."

Damnit this game had better not cut his story short. He was willing to keep going, trying to fix the playthrough so he could make a good ending out of this. Just you wait MC, he's not letting you go. A part of him wanted to go into your room and hug you, just to make sure you're there atleast in real life.

Satan rubbed furiously at his eyes as you waved him goodbye. His total playtime could rival Levi's. After gathering enough resources and magical knowledge - he could finally get started on creating the bridge. But to his pleasant surprise, he only needed to build half of the bridge, because there you were standing on the other - building your own path towards him too.

"Satan...is this a dream? Are you really back? Or is this another magical illusion again...?"

Satan blushed as you rushed to hug him peppering kisses all over his face. He had to physically get away from the game, walk around, and silently scream into his hands before he could calm himself down. Because he knew even better things were yet to come.

> "It's really me, MC. I'm sorry did I make you wait too long? I missed you so terribly...I have so many things to tell you about..."

"Come with me, we've been rebuilding our town. I know a place we can catch up...it's a special place I helped build with you in mind."

Satan follows you, your arms intertwined. You point out places to him - old renovations and newer projects. You tell him about everything that's been happening since he left.

How some endangered species came back to life, how the remaining smaller beasts were tamed and how the cursed were given peace. You stopped suddenly in front of a quaint little cottage.

"Welcome to my humble abode. I'm sorry I didn't prepare a separate room for you...because I thought you wouldn't mind sharing a bed with me..."

He blushes and grips your hand as you open the door to your room. He sees pictures of both of you on the wall and next to the bed.

> "You already built a home...with me in mind. *Smiles* Yet...the bed looks in it hasn't been slept in for a while? Did you get no sleep for the past few days?"

"Actually I haven't slept in the bed yet. I sleep on the sofa - I know it's silly but I really don't like sleeping alone in a place of two..."

Satan grips the phone tighter, as he makes his character push you on the bed. How sweet - you both get to enjoy it together for the first time. He climbs after you, trapping you underneath him.

> "Good thing I'm here now, MC."

He cups your face and trails his hands downwards, undoing some buttons on your clothes. You kiss his palms and tug down his collar.

"It's a pity though...I don't think we'll be using the bed for sleeping tonight afterall..."

He watched the screen, slack-jawed as I heard your sultry voice echoing through his room. He fell back on his pillow, hurriedly attaching his earphones. It proved to be more lethal. He could almost imagine you in his bed right now, kissing your way down his chest, while he fondles your bottom.

When you approached him later asking if he liked your work in the game, he had to cover half his face to hide the redness. He couldn't possibly tell you that he had downloaded snippets of all your moans and saved them to a secret folder. Or that he listened to them quite frequently.

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

Gojo and Geto with bad bitch Chubby Reader

Guys, I tried to avoid being a Gojo stan...I tried so hard to hate him...but the pull was too strong. He got my ass. He's too silly. He's too cute the little shit. He's too perfect. Geto's great too before he lost his shit and went psycho the two are just too great to pass up.

2024 WILL BE THE YEAR THAT I GET YOU BITCHES TO PREACH STRONG, CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT but not too independent bc these men are still yummy af CHUBBY READER! No longer will I be insecure about my weight because these men LOVE to see me coming AND going, I can tell you that.

WARNING: Fatphobia (happens when first meeting Gojo & Geto—they’re teens trying to bully Reader, but she handles herself because they’re idiots), A little angst with the small amount of bullying but I hope I made up for it, Cursing

✧༺♥༻✧

Imagine you, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko being classmates and friends during their schooling at Jujutsu High. All of you are powerful threats not to be taken lightly. The boys were undoubtedly freaks of nature with how strong they were—though, you had doubled over laughing alongside Shoko a couple of times when you heard them deem themselves "the strongest duo", as if they were some cool loner wolf types. Shoko was a master in the medicinal field; she made any injury look like a breeze to clean. She'd stitch them up no problem with her cursed energy and send them merrily on their way with a swift kick to their backside.

You definitely have more proficiency with cursed energy usage for combat more so than healing, but you could manage healing yourself just fine. You’d been born into a clan, not as highly revered as the Zenin or Gojo clans but still notable, so you’ve been taught from an early age how to wield cursed energy. Sacrificing yourself for the greater good of the world has been drilled into your head since birth, and you agreed with it. The world’s innocence needs to be protected from the cursed dangers life creates. Sure, there are bad people in the world, but the good people make life worth living. At least, that’s what you choose to believe.

While you’re just a normal—aside from the slight infinite power and jaw-dropping strength—girl, you are different in one more physical way. You’re chubbier than most, and not by a small bit.

Are you insecure about it?

Hell fucking no!

You’re a bad bitch. Fantastic face, banging body, stunning smile, bright eyes, a kind but strong heart, and even a cute butt to top it off. You knew this world inside out with how cruel it could be to plus sized folk, and while you took the beating for far too long without fighting back, you took a couple of steps back a few years ago to look at the situation. Why let people push you around like you didn’t matter? Why let them speak to you like you’re lesser than them simply because you weigh more? You were done being talked to like you were filth underneath their boots.

Since that new perspective, you’ve chosen the road of self love and hands rated E for everyone. You’re kind and sweet to those who reciprocate the respect. To those who try you, you beat their asses with a smile. “Education on Human Decency” is what you’ve begun to call the smackdowns since many want to try casting judgment in snide remarks or sneering looks. They can try these hands instead :)

That’s where Jujutsu High and the headaches you know as Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru fit into this philosophy of yours.

You were homeschooled by your clan in the first year of your sorcery high school. Though, after much begging for a change of scenery and yearning for social interactions other than your family and neighbors, they allowed you to go to a high school centered on jujutsu sorcery the next school year.

When you started Jujutsu High in your second year, that is where you met Shoko, Gojo, and Geto, your classmates. The first thought to cross your mind was how small this crowd was. Sure, it wasn’t like the classes you’ve had before had many students in them either; the world of curses and cursed energy wasn’t exactly a booming population to start with, especially when every year is the same class roster composed of the few brothers and sisters you had. Considering that, three new faces was much better than before! You introduced yourself with a joyful tone and an eager handshake.

You started with Shoko since she was the only other girl. You’re glad you did. Shoko, who you originally thought would be tricky to get along with since she gave off “rebel” vibes with that unlit cigarette dangling from her lips and you were nothing of the sort, held a grin and took your handshake with grace. She told you she liked your spunk, that it was nice to be around another girl rather than more stinking boys. You agreed with her with a relieved sigh. You two shared a laugh and chatted some more, each of you discussing your thoughts of the school and figuring out your mutual interests.

Soon enough, you were interrupted by someone giving a very noticeable and forced cough behind you. You turned and were met with two boys, one with jet black hair and a sly grin and the other one with silvery moonlight colored strands sharing the same expression hidden behind circular sunglasses. The white haired boy was leaning heavily on the black haired boy with one arm propped on his shoulder as the black-haired boy crossed his arms in front of himself. Seems like the two are close. No matter.

You stuck your hand out, another smile—admittedly, this one was a little more forced than the one you shared with Shoko—and gave your name. Suguru was the first to bite. He grabbed your hand with a smooth, warm grip, and exchanged his name. His shake felt sincere, though the cunning smirk still laid on his lips.

You tried to shake the other boy’s hand after letting Suguru go, but he decided otherwise. He swiftly with no mercy said he wasn’t going to shake hands with the likes of “you”. You raised an eyebrow, already sensing the insult he would try to hurl at you. One thing bullies are is predictable. None of them have any creative bone in their body, they’re like leeches, in a way. Mooching off other clever remarks they’ve heard used before through the Internet or their idiot friends. Though, they alway reproduce it much shitter than the first time they heard it.

He leaned in with a smile and yapped about how if he touches you, some of your fat might rub off on him. Gojo tries to drag Geto into bullying you too by shamelessly asking if Geto is worried that will happen to him now that he’s so brazenly touched you. As much as you wanted Suguru to be his own person, to be better than the loser clinging to him like a koala, he chimed in that while Gojo’s afraid of that, that that could never happen to him. He sneered while looking down at you that he actually has the discipline to keep the weight off. The two of them share an evil snicker together.

Oh, so that’s how they wanna play it.

Okay. You don’t mind showing a bitch their place.

As Shoko pipes up and tells them to shut the hell up, you stop her. You give her a kind smile that says “I love you, but please back the fuck up as I rock these bitches world”. Her eyebrows jump up in surprise, but she gives you a nod. She quiets down.

You choose to laugh with them. They slowly shut their mouths, finding laughing at you not that funny when you don’t crumple under their taunts like they’d expected. You then explain to them that what you find so funny is that punks like them are so easy to read and, subsequently, ruin. You told them they need to find better insults to steal if they wanna cackle like they’re some kind of drunk hyenas and, unless they get more creative, they’re not worth the air they take from others. You turned to walk away, but since you just couldn’t help yourself, you gave the both of them a swift kick to the chest. Unprepared for the action, they both were sent careening back, but remained standing. You also snarkily nagged that being “undisciplined in weight loss” gave you the extra weight to knock their scrawny asses back that far.

Shoko gave you a hearty high five while laughing at them getting what they deserve. Gojo, though baffled at your defiance, is ready to start throwing punches, as he spews half-assed insults left and right. Geto manages to keep his thoughts to himself, but you do note his expression has definitely become sour. This little scrap is swiftly interrupted by your new teacher, Masamichi Yaga, when he enters and orders the class to settle down. He also snuffs Gojo’s babbling tantrum with a merciless smack to his forehead.

You give a small grin stuck your tongue out at the two when Mr. Masamichi turned his back. From then on, it was war.

You, Geto, and Gojo fought constantly in the beginning

When they (mostly Gojo now) tried to stir shit with you, you’d fling their rudeness right back at them

Whether they tried to pick on your weight, or cheery personality, or strength (which they couldn’t make too much fun off since you were only a little less strong than they were, but so was everyone else compared to their insane powers), you were always ready to kick their asses

You didn’t resent them for their teasing, mostly since you had a good head on your shoulders and you know that Gojo’s only deflecting all the shit he hates about himself onto other people, but they sure got on your nerves sometimes

So, you decided soon into your acquaintance with these dopes that instead of simply beating their asses every time they said some wack shit and never correcting the behavior, you’re going put an end to their bullying of based on others appearances

Because, who knows. You have enough self love and confidence to defend yourself against their rude remarks, but not everyone does. What happens if they target other plus sized people who maybe can’t or won’t defend themselves?

So, when they’d try to make fun of you, you’d correct them with sincerity and help them understand why that would hurt to someone

Geto pretty much never made a passing comment like that again towards you. You’re happy to see that change in him

Gojo huffed and puffed after what he called “your lecture”, but you also saw change in him

After that, it was slow progress to all be friends

Shoko and you were doing great! Hanging out outside of school, dragging her along with you to do some window shopping, eating a sit down lunch together, going to the nearest bookstore, grabbing a yummy sweet treat, stargazing—you did it all together!

She always made a fuss that she had “no interest” in what you would force her to do, but you could secretly tell she liked doing girly stuff together. As long as she could have a smoke break in between these hang outs, she was all good

The first time you, Geto, and Gojo made a recovery in your rocky relationship was when they asked if they could come along with the two of you to get a treat together

You were a bit hesitant to share the thing that brings you joy with the two people who tried to make you the butt of the joke, but you threw them bone and agreed

You four walked down the sidewalk, mostly you chit chatting with Shoko, when Gojo butted his way into the conversation at your mention of Kikufuku.

You and him bonded over your mutual love of the delicate, bouncy sweet treat and you watched as his eyes sparkled like a little kid when you said the place you were going to had an excellent Kikufuku

You know, when Gojo isn’t being a menace, he’s actually nice to share a conversation with

Geto teased Gojo for his astounding sweet tooth, and explained to you an embarrassing story of Gojo losing his mind one time when a dog stole one of his dorayaki treats and ran off

You laughed as Gojo tried to hit Geto as payback for sharing the “secret” but Geto fended off his flailing

Maybe I'll come back to this idea one day when I'm not hung up on the bullying. If you guys like this idea, I might continue it with less bullying. I am a baby when it comes to angst lol. I really do love these boys, I just don't think my heart is ready for the subject matter I wrote.

✧༺♥༻✧

[the-irreverend]

The Inferno Theory: The Chara Theory to End All Chara Theories

Here we are! Nine years of Undertale. And seeing how Chara is heavily associated with the number 9 (AND THAT TOBY FOX FINALLY TALKED ABOUT THEM), I can't think of a better way to celebrate the occasion than by dedicating this 5000-word-long theory about them? Y'all remember when people used to make long-ass theories about Chara? Yeah, they're coming back with a vengeance! To say I have a colossal hyperfixation is a massive understatement. No character in all of fiction has had a bigger impact on my life than this little rose-cheeked, cocoa-addicted freak. I’ve been a Chara fan for as long as I’ve been an Undertale fan, and you can bet that my understanding of them has changed a lot since. And now I have the pleasure of sharing said understandings with y’all!

Once upon a time, there was an aroace autistic who, like most of y’all, had a very unhealthy obsession with Undertale. And unlike most of you, he thought the Genocide Route was really fun. Most fans talk about how unhappy they felt killing everyone, but for me, I felt like a polar bear at a baby harp seal convention. I got a disturbing level of happiness out of turning everyone to dust. Hell, the only unhappiness I felt was when I couldn’t turn Monster Kid to dust.

Oh well, at least I got a good consolation prize!

I was one sadistic son of a gun, and so I was even more delighted to find out I had a secret admirer/partner-in-crime and that they joined in on the fun because I was such a goshdarn inspiration to them. Not wishing to disappoint my self-appointed partner, I erased the world without a second thought, eagerly awaiting what we might get to do together.

So you can guess I was pretty taken aback when, instead of a warm welcome, they started lecturing me about how I couldn’t accept the world’s destruction and that I was the one fully responsible for it (even though they were eager to take credit for it earlier). I didn’t think much of it at first. Initially, I just thought that they were just irritated that I was undoing what we had worked so hard to accomplish.

But as this game taught me time after time, you should never trust your first impressions. Those first impressions would crumble to dust when they said this.

To say I was completely baffled is an understatement. Why the hell would this prepubescent genocidal maniac be so obsessed over whether or not I think I’m above consequences? So obsessed to the point they would tell me to go to hell if I told them no? It was at that moment I realized there was something more to this character than meets the eye. But for a long time, I couldn’t seem to figure out what that something was. And it didn’t seem like anyone could figure that out either.

I’m very much a veteran of the fan wars that have emerged surrounding Chara. In fact, one might even say I am a deserter of sorts, as I am a former member of the Chara Defence Squad, Offense Squad, and Neutralist Squad. But I’m not gonna be a stuck-up and say everyone’s a canon-ignoring idiot except for me and that I’m the only one who knows what Toby Fox intended Chara to be. Even though I ended up with a very different take than yours (and will certainly argue why it’s the best), I owe you all your discussions a huge debt, and I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten invested in your interpretations, to begin with. Not to mention that, contrary to what some may argue, you’ve made some valid points to complement them.

And while the debate that resulted from Chara’s ambiguous morality has led to a lot of controversy and even toxicity, it has also been a source of some FANTASTIC CONTENT. Like seriously, would we have gotten those badass renditions of Stronger Than You if no one thought Chara was an awful person? Would we have gotten Man on the Internet’s beautiful rendition of Star if no one thought Chara was a good person (turned awful)?

It would be utter hypocrisy for me to ask of you to approach me and my arguments (or anyone who accepts them) with understanding and good faith only to then not do the same to anyone who doesn’t agree with me. In this theory, I will definitely argue why some points made about Chara are flawed; points that you might hold yourself. But that doesn’t automatically mean that you (or your takes) are intellectually or morally inferior to mine. And besides, I’m not Toby Fox.

So with that said, why did I eventually came to disagree with pretty much everyone about Chara? Because, one way or another, I couldn’t find a take that clicked with me personally as I felt there were various inconsistencies and issues holding them back. I looked at YouTube videos, subreddits, Tumblr essays, Twitter threads, and even forums on the Steam Community. But I couldn’t really find what I thought were satisfactory answers to the questions I had about Chara’s motivations, role in the game, and relationship with the player.

And then, one day, I found those answers. It all happened when I asked myself: “What if Chara didn’t turn against me… because they were always against me from the start?!”

I don’t mean that Chara only saw you as a means to an end. I mean that YOU were the end. What if Chara didn’t use you so they could screw over the monsters but they used the monsters so they could screw over YOU.

You probably think I’m insane, don’t you? And you’re right! I AM INSANE! AND SO IS THIS WHOLE DAMN THEORY!!! But somehow, someway, it just works!! And I’ll show you why and how!!!

What you are about to read is the culmination of six years of reading and critiquing Chara takes and theories of every kind and quality, whether it be Judgement Boy’s Who is the Real Villain of Undertale to Wandydoodles’ Oblivion Theory. Six years of examining the arguments and counterarguments of Chara defenders, offenders, and neutralists alike. Six years of looking in every corner of the UTDR fandom. From the tranquil lands of Quora. To the dark recesses of Reddit. To the intellectual wastelands of Twitter. To the fiery hellsite of Tumblr. So, without further ado, get ready for some of the most pure, unadulterated, high-octane, universe-collapsing neurodivergence you’ve ever seen in your life!!!!!

Part 1: The demonic heritage of the "demon who comes when people call its name".

Have you ever had one of those moments where you’ve asked yourself, “What the actual hell is this guy talking about?” I bet you’re having that moment right now. Everything about their character post-death, including their motives, their methods, and their relationship with you, is perfectly reflected in one of their most famous (or rather infamous) lines:

When most people hear the word demon, the first thing that comes to mind is a being made of pure evil whose only purpose in life is to destroy all things good in the world. Right?

Well, yes, but actually, no. It’s a little more complicated than that. To argue that Chara is a demon because they’re simply “an evil little twerp that enjoys being evil” doesn’t do them or their role in Undertale justice (although that hasn’t stopped people from trying to argue that). To understand why calling themselves a demon is EXTREMELY important, we need to dive into the wonderful (and totally not controversial) world of religious beliefs!

In ancient and modern religions, demons are a little more complex than just ethereal jackasses with a vendetta against virtue and righteousness. Though they vary from faith to faith, most demons have a specific set of qualities and tropes that make them integral to whatever faith they’re in. You also see these demonic qualities in fiction that’s derived or inspired by religions, and since Undertale’s lore and worldbuilding have a heavy emphasis on the spiritual and divine, you can see them in Chara. Since Undertale is a game of “Western” origin, you can definitely see they share qualities that are all too familiar with devils of “Western” religions. In classic devil fashion, they target those with weak integrities or suspect morals; they tempt you with the promise of fulfilling your desires at your and everyone else’s expense; they’re able to control your body as you grow their power through your sins, and hell, they even do the thing where they make a deal for your soul. Also...

But though it's evident that Chara encourages you to do “evil,” THEY THEMSELVES are not responsible for it. Yes, Chara encouraged you to kill, but YOU are the one who acted on those encouragements. In fact, YOU are the one who encouraged THEM to help you out! They walked down the dark path with you, but you didn’t really give them anywhere else they could walk. You had all the power and every chance to turn back and no reason to keep walking. And yet you persisted.

But that does beg the question, why did you walk it at all? What could possibly inspire you to give all of these characters happiness, satisfaction, and peace and then rip it all away? Because you decided that giving everyone the most satisfying ending was not satisfying enough for you. Because there was more that you could experience for yourself, even if it meant making everyone else experience something absolutely horrific. It wasn’t enough for you to fill the glass only halfway. You needed to fill it to the brim. You wanted to reach the absolute. Even if doing the Genocide Run was a bad experience for you, you CANNOT deny it was a fulfilling one. And Chara knows it, too. It ain’t exactly a coincidence that fulfillment and fullness are recurring motifs in Chara’s character.

Like all demons, Chara is able to tempt the wicked and sinful by targeting our greatest weaknesses and deficiencies. It’s no different from how Succubi and Incubi target those who succumb to the sin of lust. That’s why you won’t go after my aroace ass anytime soon. But I digress.

But Chara doesn't just tempt us by exploiting our need to fill the glass to the brim but also because of how they exploit the satisfaction we get from watching it fill up, that is to say, the satisfaction that comes from trying to achieve fulfillment.

We humans are addicted to progression as much as we are to completion, and in an RPG like Undertale, the satisfaction of progression comes in the form of NUMBERS. Not just the numbers that flash on the screen when you battle enemies but also the ones that go up when you finish said enemies off, whether it be your hit points, experience points, and so on. And Undertale isn’t any ordinary RPG; it’s one where its RPG elements are interwoven into the fabric of the game’s universe. Because of that, Chara is able to use these elements in their world to influence those outside of it.

But Chara does not just influence us through the numbers that increase but also the ones that decrease. That’s why the first thing they do when we reach Snowdin is give us a tally. 

It’s not just there to measure progress. It’s also there to incentivize us to keep progressing. It gives us a small dose of satisfaction that’s enough to distract us from the mundanity and misery of the murder run, like a loading bar on a loading screen. And just like with loading screens, the farther it progresses, the harder it gets to turn away. Why would you want all the lives you’ve taken and the stats you’ve gained to amount to nothing? Why would you want to hit reset and go through those brutal fights with Sans and Undyne again? You can’t empty out the glass, not when you’re that much closer to filling it to the brim. Speaking of Sans and Undyne, it’s quite interesting that even though they barely know you, they know exactly why you won’t take your foot off the pedal, so to speak.

But that’s not the only thing driving you, isn’t it? Chara knows that there was something else that was spurning you along. Something more powerful and more dangerous than your addiction to progression and completion: PRIDE. 

Perhaps the real reason you kept giving in to sin until it was far too late was because you didn’t think it would be too late. You didn’t hold back because you thought you would be able to go back. You thought you could just absolve your sins with the press of a button like you did in countless worlds before. You thought you could dive in, touch the bottom, and come back out of the water. But what were you getting into? How deep would you have gone? And would you have gone in if you knew you couldn’t possibly return? You know you wouldn’t. And Chara knows it, too. That brings us back to the dialogue I showed you at the beginning of this theory. The one said changed everything I knew about this character, and I firmly believe that this is the MOST important line of dialogue in the entire franchise.

PART 2: THE PART WHERE I (PRETEND TO) DESTROY 9 YEARS OF ESTABLISHED FANON!

When I say that that little blurb about being above consequences is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL, I do not say that lightly. It isn’t just important to Chara's character, but the game of Undertale as a whole! Anyone who’s serious about Chara’s character should never take this for granted because Chara sure as hell does not.

It’s not just our refusal to accept the world’s destruction that’s a huge-ass deal to Chara; it’s the arrogance and complacency that accompanies it, rooted in the position and privileges we have as the player. It matters to them so much that they’re willing to completely forgo bartering for our soul (which they say they want) if we don’t admit that we have that belief!

And yet, despite Chara taking this subject so seriously, the people who are analyzing their character ironically don’t. Generally speaking, most people simply brush this line off as nothing more than something they do to help them on their quest to achieve their goals. So, with that said, let’s talk about what those supposed goals actually are.

In all my years of reading and assessing countless Chara theories and interpretations, I’ve discovered that everyone actually agrees on what Chara's goals are. They just can’t agree on why they want them. Said goals are A) reach the absolute, B) max out their numbers/power, C) erase the world, and/or D) eradicate all monsters. But what if it’s actually the other way around? What if those things were the means to an end rather than the ends themselves?

What if the true goal of the “demon who comes when people call its name” was just like that of the demons of old: not to be your partner in crime, but to torment and punish you for your crimes? To make you face CONSEQUENCES!

I’m not making this argument simply because it makes Chara look more badass (though I think it totally does, lol). I firmly believe that Undertale’s post-Genocide content is written so that Chara’s character can only make sense if that was Chara’s goal from start to finish. Because if Chara’s endgame was any of those four I mentioned earlier, their character kinda falls apart because they're awfully inconsistent about fulfilling them. And those inconsistencies are evident in the Second Geno Ending.

Discrepancy 1) They say they will “appear time and time again” to help us “eradicate the enemy and become strong,” and yet they call us perverted for eradicating everyone time and time again.

You can argue that they didn’t want us to recreate the world in the first place and just move on to another world, but if so, why let us come back at all? And if it’s to get our soul, why do they keep around this world after we have it? This leads us to...

Discrepancy 2) They tell us to ERASE the world and move on to the next, and yet they allow us to restore it without a hitch after we give them our SOUL, seeing how there’s no black void when we start the game again.

If Chara was powerless to stop us from coming back, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. But they CLEARLY DEMONSTRATE that they’re able to stop the player from restoring the world, as seen in the first post-genocide ending. And yet they don’t use this power after the first time the world is erased (WHICH YOU WOULD THINK THEY WOULD WANT TO USE SINCE THEY WANT TO ERASE THE WORLD AND MOVE ON TO ANOTHER)! Seeing how the world is back again without us doing anything makes the restoration of the world like something that Chara CHOSE ON THEIR OWN VOLITION. And what makes this all the more damning is...

Discrepancy 3) They tell us they’re down bad for increasing our ATK, DEF, EXP, and LV to the max and erasing the world and everyone in it, and yet they TELL US TO DEVIATE FROM THE ONLY ROUTE THAT ACCOMPLISHES THAT (which, as stated before, they call us perverse for doing it again).

So, let me get something straight. You tell us you want to ”eradicate the enemy” and “ erase this pointless world,” and yet not only are you allowing us to undo all of that, you want us to do something INSTEAD OF THAT??? It’s funny how you lecture us about how we cannot accept the world’s destruction BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, YOU WON’T EITHER!!!!! Also, before I forget...

Discrepancy 4)

WHAT KIND OF MISANTHROPE DEDICATES THEIR WHOLE LIFE TO WIPING OUT HUMANITY, GETS GIFT-WRAPPED A CHANCE TO DO THAT, AND THEN JUST PASSES IT UP?!?!?!

On behalf of misanthropes everywhere, I am DEEPLY disappointed in you!

So it doesn’t matter if you believe Chara is always evil, good, or detached from morality entirely. Because Chara has the same goal across all versions, they all succumb to the same inconsistencies!

Funny how most people see them as this embodiment of the addictive nature of levelling up and consuming everything in a piece of media and all that jazz WHEN THEY SEEM TO CASUALLY GIVE UP ON IT!!!!!!

And if you argue they want a Soulless Pacifist Run when they suggest “another path,” then ask yourself, what does that give them that a Genocide Run doesn’t? Keep in mind, aside from a scribbled-out photograph, we don’t see how many monsters or humans they killed besides the main characters or how much power and stats they gained from it. And it’s not like we see them erase the world afterward since only the genocide run has that infamous wall of red 9s. Not to mention, the genocide run is the most secure way of accomplishing their goals since they have the backing of the player. Not only that, but it’s also the safest and most efficient way to erase everyone and increase stats to the fullest, and we all know how Chara feels about efficiency.

So Chara has no reason to pick the Soulless pacifist ending over the Genocide Run if they want to achieve their end of increasing numbers and consuming the world… unless those things were a means to an end rather than ends themselves.

Indeed it is coming together! That’s the other reason their statement, “You think you’re above consequences,” is so damn important! They’re not telling us why we sinned, but it reveals they intend to make us suffer for those sins, and how.

That’s why Chara is seemingly so inconsistent about erasing the world. Because it was never about the world. It was all about YOU.

[SIDE NOTE: I’m sure many of you will point out that if Chara wanted us to get a Soulless ending in this world, then why would they encourage us to “move on to the next?” I don’t think this is too big an issue for two reasons. First, this line is meant to emphasize that, like all demons, Chara is inescapable and that no matter what world you go to (within their own universe), Chara will always follow you now that you’ve unleashed them. Second, because their goal concerns us and not the world they’re a part of, their character avoids the aforementioned inconsistencies that hamper the other Chara theories much more severely, in my opinion.]

Part 3: Contrapasso

Now I’m sure some of y’all might think that Chara doesn’t need to yearn for our torment to achieve the impact of the Soulless ending and that just because Chara is a demon doesn’t automatically mean they need to screw us over. You are right in that not everyone who makes a Faustian Bargain needs to have malicious intentions toward the people they’re taking advantage of (Kuybey from Madoka Magica is a great example of that). But Chara does need it! Not only does it make their character more narratively cohesive, but also makes their character more thematically impactful. And it’s more in tune with their demonic nature for them to want to torment us.

Because demons represent something more terrifying than evil itself. They represent the terrible price of embracing it, a price that all evildoers fear more than anything, and that all demons want seek to inflict upon us. Like most demons, Chara isn’t encouraging us to sin to fill the emptiness in our soul (or even their own). They did it to perpetuate that torturously empty and unfulfilled state for all eternity, a state which even themselves now endure.

Now, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve talked a lot about the themes of fulfillment and emptiness, and it’s for a good reason since those themes are heavily featured in Undertale. I mean, how could it not? Because concepts of demons, hell, and sins (which are explicitly mentioned in the game) are deeply intertwined with the concept of emptiness. The theologian Thomas Aquinas once defined evil as not a presence but as an absence (of that which is good). Darkness is the absence of light; war is the absence of peace; bigotry is the absence of tolerance; pride is the absence of humility, etc. You see this reflected in not just Christian theology but also fiction as a whole, as a lot of villains are motivated by a desire to obtain something that they believe can’t be without. Whether it be wealth, status, recognition, power, the death of an individual, or even just sadistic pleasure.

Since demons are beings that are inseparable from evil itself, the life of a demon is forever cursed by unceasing and unbearable emptiness. Hell, the word damnation originated from the Latin word damnum, which literally means loss! They’re not exactly partying in hell while your immortal soul is being slow-roasted for eternity. They’re burning in that lake of fire and brimstone along with you! They can’t end their damnation, not because they don’t want to but because they simply can’t. They’re fated to be bereft of the satisfaction or fulfillment found in Heaven or Earth, a fate that is worse than death in every sense of the word, especially since they can’t experience death anymore. Because of that, a demon embodies what is perhaps the most terrifying form of evil of all: not one rooted in a desire to rid the emptiness and unfulfillment within themselves, but a desire to inflict them upon others. Because as a wise philosopher once said:

We see this horrific state of mutually assured suffering everywhere across fiction. From goofy, lighthearted tokusatsu's...

...to nightmarish sci-fi dystopias...

...to a little indie game made 9 years ago.

Oh yeah. Don’t think I was gonna talk about emptiness without mentioning everyone’s favourite homicidal fauna-turned-flora, especially not with lines like this.

Take one to know one! And it can’t be a coincidence that the game emphasizes the theme of emptiness when giving the spotlight to the three characters that have committed the most “evil”: Flowey/Asriel, Chara, and YOU.

Quite the unholy trinity going on here, eh? It truly is fascinating how the emptiness led us to work with each other to exterminate all monsters. And it’s also interesting how the unique kind of emptiness we have eventually led us to work against each other. Whether it be Flowey wishing to preserve his sentimentality for his long-gone sibling, us players wanting to maintain our (perverted) sentimentality for the world of Undertale, or Chara weaponizing these sentimentalities to exact their misanthropic hatred.

Remember how I said that Chara was a lousy misanthrope because they keep letting us bring back the humans they wanted annihilated when they were alive? That does make them a lousy misanthrope… unless their misanthropy found a higher priority target: YOU!!!!! Chara’s desire to torment us didn’t come out of thin air. The same hatred that drove them to wipe out the humans of their world years ago is the same hatred that’s driving them to get at the humans of our world, even if it means destroying those who once embraced them. And now, that hatred is more potent and destructive than ever before, so much so that it’s no wonder Toriel was able to feel it when she endured that fatal blow after the Geno Run began.

Do you think witnessing what soullessness did to sweet little Asriel wasn’t already terrifying and tragic enough? Just try to imagine what it could‘ve done to a vengeful, traumatized, chocolate-addicted problem child so consumed by hatred that they poisoned themselves just for a chance to wipe out their own kind. All of that hatred of humanity is still alive and well, and now it has no humanity to hold it back. 

And what could be a more fitting target for a MISANTHROPE that calls themselves a DEMON… than a HUMAN that wants to play GOD?

After all, the only thing demons love more than tormenting mortals is warring with Gods.

Why else do you think that Chara winks right at you if we make Frisk stay with Toriel? Because that’s who the Soulless Ending was meant for. It’s when they’re finally able to unleash all that animosity and hatred that’s been lurking behind that smile ever since we killed everyone in the Ruins. It’s the moment that they’ve been patiently waiting for because they knew that’s when it would hit you the hardest.

And what makes the Soulless Pacifist Ending very special compared to other “bad endings” isn’t simply because they destroy those we pretend to care about (may I remind you that you did do the genocide run, after all). But they destroy something much more valuable to us as the players: OUR OMNIPOTENCE. Chara doesn’t destroy people for the sake of destroying them. But because in doing so they destroy our arrogant belief that nothing could possibly challenge the invisibility and invulnerability we players take for granted.

It's all too human that those with the most power are the least willing to lose it (or even take responsibility for it). And in a world where we should have absolute power, we thought there would be no consequences for abusing it. So what could be a more fitting and frightful punishment than having to actually face them? Missing out on the best ending in a video game is one thing. But to forever lose the power to achieve it ever again?! Now that’s terrifying!

Throughout myth, legend, and religion, sinners are often punished in a way befitting of the sin they’ve committed. In Greek Mythology, Tantalus was damned for trying to feed the Gods the flesh of his murdered son with eternal hunger and thirst despite being within arm’s reach of water and food. In Dante’s Inferno, those who succumb to wrath are forever doomed to fight each other in a river of mud. And since Undertale is no stranger to concepts such as hell, sins, and demons, you can damn well be sure that there’s going to be damnation fitting for the sins that drove you to complete the genocide run.

You completed the Genocide Run because you believed ending their lives would be fulfilling. Now, you can no longer get any fulfillment out of saving their lives.

I mean, where else can you get your precious fulfillment? Those paltry neutral endings? They only offer a fraction of what the pacifist ending offered. And the genocide ending has been drained of its satisfaction like the pacifist! Would you do all that tedious grinding and brutal boss fights just to hear your so-called “partner” lecture you again on perverted sentimentality and say you should choose another path, even though there’s nothing that they could offer? Of course not. In the end, you’re just like poor Tantalus agonizing in the pits of Tartarus, feeling the water vanish from his hands just before it touches his lips.

The ultimate triumph of Chara isn’t making you suffer a total defeat, but perhaps something much worse to you as a gamer: a pyrrhic victory. It’s like having a Twinkie that's been drained of the creamy center. Everything is still there except the thing you treasure most. You’re damned to play a challenge forever deprived of any and all fulfillment you once got from it, a satisfying journey that will always be doomed to reach a dissatisfying destination.

In the end, Chara leaves you with the world exactly as they described it the first time they met you face-to-face: POINTLESS.

You can have the world exactly as it was before (and the people within it). But in the end, Chara will always have the last laugh.

Figuratively and literally.

Welcome to hell!

Part 4: Why Consequences Matter

Woooooo!!! Man, that was quite the read, wasn’t it? And yeah, I wasn't kidding when I said this is going to be autistic as all hell! I don’t doubt you have a lot of thoughts in your mind, and then you’re gonna share them by the time you’re finished reading this post. Some of you might think this is the Chara theory to end Chara theories. Some of you believe that this is the worst thing that has happened to this fandom since Sebastian Wolff. Some of y’all, I’m whitewashing them because I argue they’re driven by a desire to punish the wicked by any means necessary. Some will think I’m demonizing them because I say that they’re, well, a demon. 

[SIDE NOTE: Just so I don’t miscommunicate what I believe about Chara’s morality, here are some key points to take away from this theory. A) Chara sought to make you pay for the evil you committed. In fact, the idea that the Soulless Ending is Chara punishing our sins has been around for a while, especially by those who think Chara was “corrupted. B) However, in this theory, Chara's actions are all done with the intent of accomplishing that goal. This means that Chara was aware of what they were doing, they wanted to do it, and that THEY KNEW IT WAS EVIL. C) But you still have to remember that Chara is also A LITERAL CHILD. And D) They’re a child who endured a great deal of hardship (and possibly trauma), which made them so embittered and vengeful. Also, E) Remember that they’re also soulless, just like Asriel when he was Flowey.]

But I think most of you were gonna look at this interpretation of Chara and feel the same thing that I have about most of yours: a take that’s not without issues, but not without a fair bit of interesting points.

But regardless of what you think of this theory overall, there’s one thing I won’t leave up for debate: I deeply treasure Chara’s character. Not just because I think they’re fun, cool, or interesting but also because I firmly believe they’re invaluable Undertale. And yet, at the same time, I think they’re severely undervalued by the fandom. And who can blame them?

The characters of Undertale speak very little of Chara, and Chara speaks for themselves even less. But just like Johan Liebert from the anime Monster, even though they’re not seen too often, they still manage to exert a massive presence and impact within Undertale’s narrative. And that presence is made all the more impactful because they perfectly represent the themes of the narrative: and that theme is CONSEQUENCES, or more accurately, the CONSEQUENCES OF VIOLENCE.

From the violence that drove Chara to climb Mt Ebott to the violence their brother Asriel inflicted in hopes of being with them forever. From something as grand as a war between two civilizations to something as small as dismembering a snowman. Everywhere you look, you will see that violence (and its repercussions) haunts the story and characters of Undertale. But what makes Undertale stand out from other media that tackles this subject is that it’s not just an integral part of its narrative but also its metanarrative. The most ingenious way it does this is by giving meaning to the actions/mechanics that we take for granted, specifically monster encounters.

Our Lord and Saviour Toby Fox said it best:

Because the monsters of Undetale are treated as something more than just enemies to be killed, there are going to be consequences for choosing to kill them away. Some argue that it goes too far in how it admonishes you for killing even a single monster, even to the point of being preachy (I’m looking at you, ScottFalco, but that’s a response for another day).

That argument is deeply flawed because it fails to account for the fact that without these ramifications, the game’s themes would be rendered null and void. The last thing that a game with a narrative centred around the consequences of violence can afford to do is afford you the luxury of avoiding them. And that principle especially applies if you dare to choose nothing BUT violence. //////If you were to bring them all back as if nothing happened, then your decision to commit genocide would be completely meaningless, which would totally disservice Undertale themes regarding violence. There needs to be consequences. LASTING CONSEQUENCES. Undertale can’t drive home its messages and them without lasting consequences. Undertale can’t deliver those consequences without Chara in the driver’s seat. And Chara’s character can only be at their most narratively cohesive and thematically impactful if seeking to make us suffer consequences was their intended destination.

Regardless of whatever detail about Chara you’re discussing or what side of the discussion you’re on, one thing is very clear: they’re absolutely essential to Undertale in the same way that Mephistopheles is essential to Faust, the Cenobites are essential to Hellraiser, and Kuybey is essential to Madoka Magica. And they’re the only ones with the means, motives, and deep-seated misanthropy to hold this whole damn game together.

Sans is right. We deserve to be burning in hell for what we did to those poor monsters. And I can't think of anyone more qualified to have us humans “burning in hell” than a self-proclaimed demon with a seething hatred of humanity.

And how fitting is it that the skeleton who judges our sins is followed by a human child who punishes us for them?

BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY!

A CHARA THEORY!

THANKS FOR READING!

[rebelfell]

Straight from the tortured Eddie department...

18+ MDNI 3.9k

older!fem!Harrington!reader x eddie munson

cont'd from here, index here

Not a proper “part” of the story, more like an interlude of bits and pieces of Eddie's side. I'm also not liable for any of this — @bettyfrommars made me do it. cw: binge drinking

Eddie never had a real girlfriend.

He’d had plenty of imaginary ones—tieflings or elf maidens or dryads that made their way into his campaigns after floating around in his head for a few days. He put himself to sleep imagining he was rescuing them, adventuring with them, defending their honor. All that hero shit.

But as for real life, he’s never had anything…consistent.

There was that thing with Chrissy Cunningham his third and final senior year when he got to act on his middle school crush for a grand total of a month and a half before she took off for Notre Dame. He decided that barely counted, though. Especially after hearing she was dating girls now.

Other than that, his rap sheet detailed little more than a string of messy and hasty hook-ups with people who wanted to “get with the freak” just to say that they had, or randoms at the Hideout who would fuck anyone as long as they played guitar.

He’d thought a lot about it, though. For years, he had to watch people at school getting so totally, nauseatingly wrapped up in one another they could barely see past their own noses. 

And it made him want to vomit almost as much as it made him burn with jealousy.

After he was done mock-retching with his friends, he secretly wondered to himself what it might be like to have someone like that in his life. Someone whose smile he looked forward to every morning. Someone whose hand would reach out for his in a crowded hall. Someone who was always as happy to see him as he was to see them.

Most days the possibility seemed too fantastical to even entertain, but Eddie never had much luck when it came to resisting impossibilities.

Things changed a little after he graduated, but only in terms of quantity. 

His community college was only one town over from Hawkins, but it was like a different world. No one there knew the Munson name or the baggage that came along with it. No one had been cheated or scammed or lied to by his father. No one held Eddie liable for sins he didn’t commit.

Girls started going for him because they liked him, not because they wanted to get something out of him. Still, it had never breached that casual containment. Just about everyone was planning on eventually transferring to a “real” school, and they weren’t looking for anything serious.

Neither was he, truth be told. He was just having fun—learning what he liked, what they liked, what he could do to make them like it more.

To like him more.

He quickly garnered a reputation for his giving nature, and for the first time in his life he didn’t mind it so much that people were jumping to conclusions about him based on hearsay.

It gave him hope, tiny as the spark of it was. He thought someone, somewhere, someday, might want something more with him—something more formal. Something beyond drunk make-outs at parties, or too-quick dates that were little more than pretense for getting him in bed.

Even Steve confessed he was sort of jealous. 

Girls were dying to date Steve, though.

They fell in love if he so much as flipped his artfully disheveled hair in their direction. He came home from school every break lamenting over yet another girl who had gone and caught feelings for him and how he wished he could trade places with Eddie once in a while.

And Eddie just had to sit there with a stupid, cheesing grin on his face like he was living the dream. All the while feeling like the biggest fucking fraud in the world.

But then there was you.

Eddie had never felt like this about anyone. And he knew, logically, that you weren’t his girlfriend. How could you be when he had never so much as taken you on a proper date? Or held your hand? Or touched you without first having to glance around to be sure the coast was clear?

But you were still his something—his something that was unlike anything else. 

And, yeah, it had kind of been a joke when it started. Not a joke-joke, just…the kind of shit he always did. Messing around. Shooting shots from half-court he was certain wouldn’t even graze the net. Flirting with you was just…fun in a way it hadn’t been for him in a really long time.

He thought at first he just liked the challenge. Clearly, he irritated you. He could see it in the fiery glares you gave him, in the way your hands would land on your hips, in the way your mouth would press together in a hard line. And it made him all the more determined to make you crack.

Then you and he started talking more, started talking about real stuff, stuff that mattered—and holy shit were you cool.

There was a bite to you, a witty snark that never faltered. You viewed the world through a wry lens, but there was a softness that bled through when you talked about your favorite songs, or a novel you had taught in one of your classes, or a movie you’d seen enough times to quote from memory.

And, god, were you beautiful. Not in a “for your age” way or a “could tell you used to be” way— just in the way that you were. The way your nose scrunched when you smiled, your lips quirking to the side; the way your hips swayed as you danced to records you put on; the way your brow wrinkled when you were deep in concentration and made Eddie wish he could reach out and smooth it down with the pad of his thumb.

Just…everything.

And all he could do was think how fucking out of his league he was. Not that he believed he really had a chance. Because he didn’t…obviously.

Right?

He thought he must have died and gone to heaven the night of that party. He climbed those stairs all but certain he was going to be sent right back down them. But he was more than willing to take that risk, more than ready to debase himself on the off chance you were feeling even a fraction of what he was. To know once and for all that he wasn’t making all of this up in his head.

Because that night on the patio you hadn’t said you didn’t want to do this. Only that you couldn’t. 

And that girl from his Geology lab last semester who laid it on so thick only made it painfully and blatantly obvious to Eddie that he couldn’t settle for something less than anymore. 

He didn’t want to waste any more of his time with anyone who wasn’t you.

Eddie didn’t go home after you left him in the van.

Wayne wouldn’t be back from the plant for a few more hours and he couldn’t stand the thought of facing the desolate wasteland of his trailer.

That, and it was sorely lacking in alcohol.

Instead, he parked in the narrow alley behind the Hideout. It was way, way past last call—the sun was rising for chrissakes—but Eddie knew where Bev kept the spare key from his bar-back days. 

He didn’t count how many shots he poured for himself, the pools of liquor that splashed on the bar serving as a kind of tally until he passed out on a pillow of folded arms. Hours later, he came to with Gareth shaking him awake calling out his name. He’d found him still slumped over the bar, barely able to hold his head up, about to slide off his stool and onto the sticky floor.

Eddie peered at his friend with bloodshot eyes, vaguely recognizing the blob of floppy and tawny colored curls. “C’mon, man. Time to go,” he said, casting a grateful and apologetic look at Bev, who had been kind enough to call Gareth and not the cops when she came in to do prep and payroll.

He and his girl Annie had to carry him out, one of Eddie’s arms slung over both their shoulders. 

“S’over…she…she…” he slurred, shaking his head as they stumbled out to the gravel parking lot and he squinted into the unbearably bright sun, “I jus’ don’no what I did, I just—”

His drunken babbling only grew more incoherent as he flopped over in the backseat of Gareth’s car, his face smushed into the cushion. Annie looked back at him from the passenger side, folded over on himself as he curled up in a little fetal ball, her brow pinched together with concern.

“Who’s he talking about?” Eddie heard her ask.

Gareth just shrugged, casting his own forlorn look back at his friend before he turned the key.

“I’ve got no idea.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be camping?”

Eddie smirked back at your cocked brow as you appraised him where he stood on the front steps, a six-pack in one hand and bouquet of flowers in the other. He glided past you inside of the house, swinging around and walking backwards to the kitchen with a wide grin spread across his face.

“I got sick,” he explained, flashing a cartoonish pout. “Steve came to pick me up and I couldn’t even come out of the bathroom. We’re talking major chunkage, babe. I was a hazard.”

Your face crinkled at the visual, but you laughed as Eddie swaggered towards the island. 

In his head, he was still congratulating himself for his stellar performance and patting himself on the back for the added touch of canned peas he’d brought with him into the bathroom to pour in the toilet intermittently during his moaning to really sell the ruse. Theatrical wizard that he was.

The camping trip had been in the works for ages, way before all of…this…had started.

It began mostly as an argument in which Dustin was adamant just because he’d only ever been to computer camp, it didn’t mean he didn’t have any survival skills. The other boys had scoffed and jeered and mocked as they were wont to do, until they finally landed on their solution of going camping the weekend of Will Byers’ birthday.

Eddie and Steve were drafted as supervisors-slash-babysitters, and even though Eddie had actually been looking forward to it, the promise of a weekend alone with you was too enticing.

There were a lot of things Eddie couldn’t do with you—real dates, public displays of affection—but with Steve gone, Eddie could stay in your bed all night. He could wake up to you in the morning and coax you from sleep with his gentle kisses peppered along your jaw until you stretched out your arms and released a deep and satisfied groan he could practically hear already.

“So they left?” you prompted him, eyes bright with fascination. Eddie nodded smugly.

“And wouldn’t you know, as soon as they did…I made a miraculous recovery.”

“Well, isn’t that convenient?”

You took the flowers and brought them to your nose to smell. He’d joke later that he stole them out of the neighbor’s yard so you wouldn’t know how he stood at the farmer’s market all morning picking them out. Asking the owner which ones meant what until he gave up and started going for whatever he thought looked best together.

Whatever he thought looked like you.

The beer bottles clinked as he set them down in favor of getting his hands on you instead. 

For someone who thought he was going away for the weekend, you certainly had dressed like you were going to see him. Long, flowing skirt that skimmed the tops of your bare feet. A slit in it that showed off a daring amount of leg. A tank top with a deep scoop neck that accentuated your chest and made him eager to bury his face in it. A fresh spritz of perfume on your neck.

Eddie took your hand and spun you into him, pressing himself against your back, his arms curling around your waist to keep you pinned there. You sighed at the feeling, tipping your head back to rest it on his shoulder, giggling as he nuzzled the sensitive skin behind your ear.

His hand squeezed the one of yours he was holding while the other ran up your thigh, fingers slid into the slit of your skirt and traced the edge of your leg until he felt you shiver and squirm.

“So…” Eddie hummed. “What do we do now?”

Your sister's room had remained untouched since her departure, but the en suite bathroom was another story. The jacuzzi spa tub was an anniversary present she got herself after John forgot…for the second year in a row.

It was wide and deep enough Eddie could sit up against the back of it with you between his legs, the smell of lavender and clary sage wafting up and swirling in the air as the jets bubbled.

You dribbled soapy water on his arms and ran your hands over them, making his tattoos shine. And he chuckled as you wriggled against him until he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Turn around,” he husked in your ear, his hands on your hips already urging you forward.

Water sloshed and splashed on the floor as you maneuvered yourself around to face him, your legs thrown over his hips, arms slung around his neck as you slid against one another—the head of his cock rutting against your clit until you were whining, mewling, crying out with need for more.

You leaned in close, tips of your noses brushing as you rocked against him, but you don’t kiss him the way he remembers it happening.

He tries to catch your lips, to get them to meet his, but his neck won’t move. None of him will, even as he screams in his head for it to do so.

You chant his name instead, your voice echoing off the gleaming marble and tiles.

“Eddie…Eddie…Eddie…”

“Eddie! Eddie! EDDIE!”

The hard thwap of a pillow on the back of his head drags Eddie fully out of his dream. Warm, frothy water turned back into his dingy, stained sheets and your body morphed into the pillows his arms and legs were curled around as tight as he could. He lifted his head, still pounding and beer-logged, and blinked until the blurry shape looming over him turned into Steve.

“Whad’youwant?” Eddie grumbled.

“It’s like two o’clock,” Steve said. Not quite condemning, but certainly not lacking in concern.

Eddie shrugged, reaching for his nightstand and the graveyard of beers there. He started lifting them one at a time until he found one with some weight to it and brought it to his lips. It was stale and warm on his tongue and he grimaced as he drank, but he tried to drain it all the same.

“Dude!” Steve’s eyes widened and he snatched it from his hand. “Stop!” 

“What?” Eddie barked, glaring up at his friend.

Steve slammed the can down, making the other empty ones rattle and fall to the floor. “Seriously, what is going on? You’re freaking me out here.”

“S’nothing,” Eddie muttered, dragging his sheets back up over his head. They smelled like the malt and hops seeping out of his skin and it didn’t take long for the ripeness of his B.O. to permeate the little pocket of air around him. He couldn’t even remember the last time he showered.

The mattress sagged extra as Steve sank down to perch on the edge of it. He stared at the lump under the sheets and his voice tightened nervously as he spoke to it.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong,” he said. “We’re just worried is all, and we want to help. Wayne, Dustin, the band…all of us.”

Not all of you, Eddie thinks.

And there’s a part of him—a spiteful, bitter, angry part—that almost wants to tell Steve everything. He almost wants to drop the bomb once and for all and make you clean up the mess.

But he knows he can’t. 

Because the thing he hates the most of all, is knowing how right you were.

Eddie had talked a big game about telling Steve, explaining it to him, but there wasn’t much point when it was never going to go anywhere. And it was foolish of him to believe it ever could.

Because what exactly was he supposed to do? Run off to some ivy-covered university? Tag along at cocktail parties and mixers with the rest of the faculty and have them whisper behind your back about if you were together or if he was your son?

Or worse yet, starting rumors about you sleeping with a student? No fucking way.

He got it now. You didn’t have any choice but to end it once Eddie had gone and spewed all his feelings all over you. And had he known what would happen, he might not have gone through with it. But he also knew he would have ended up in the exact same place, regardless.

He was just so sick and tired of not saying it. Of acting like he didn’t feel it. 

Because it was the first time he’d felt so sure someone would say it back.

Eddie doesn’t answer Steve. He just stays under the sheets until he finally leaves. Breathing in his own breath, wishing he could slip back into his dream to relive the part where he climbed out of the tub and took you straight to bed. And you had tumbled into it with him where you rode him until your muscles were limp and the room had filled with the golden haze of fading sunlight.

He was pretty sure that was the weekend it had happened. He couldn’t say it yet. Couldn’t so much as acknowledge it, or admit it was something he even wanted to say.

But it was there.

It was that feeling in his chest, that warmth and fullness he’d been chasing his entire life. 

He finally felt whole.

As usual, Steve assigned himself to babysitting duty. He started showing up every morning to bang on Eddie’s door and make sure he made it to work. And on his off days, he dragged Eddie into Family Video and made him participate in he and Robin’s bemoaning of their sordid affairs.

And despite everything, Eddie hangs on their every word. Not sure which was worse—waiting for Steve to mention home (and by extension, you) or living in constant fear of him doing so.

But it’s not until the day Steve forgets his lunch that Eddie faces the worst possible scenario.

“Alright, great. Thank you,” Steve says in the receiver, voice strained despite the relief he feels.

He hangs up the phone and pushes his hands into his messy hair, eyes closing as he massages his temples with his thumbs in an attempt to stave off his hangry episode.

“Mommy bringing you some num-nums?” Eddie teases. Steve just sighs.

“Nah, my aunt is coming.”

A loud siren sounds in the movie Steve is playing, but it’s not nearly as loud as the one going off in Eddie’s brain. He jerks his head up, his eyes wide and alarmed. If you left Steve’s house right when he hung up the phone, Eddie had maybe fifteen minutes before you would be here.

His feet are frozen in place, glued to the wildly patterned carpet under them, his body being torn between fight and flight. He could just leave. That was probably the smartest decision. He could run right out of here, making up some excuse about forgetting that he needed to be somewhere.

He could leave. And yet it was impossible to will his legs to move so he could do so.

The feeling is overwhelming, almost nauseating—a horrendous combination of being desperate for something to happen and yet totally dreading the possibility. Because as much as he wanted to see you, as much as he’d been hoping to run into you in town or to catch a fleeting glimpse of you, the reality of it was terrifying. Because him seeing you meant you would see him like this.

Ruined. Destroyed. Pathetic.

He was looking better than he had the past few weeks, having rediscovered bathing and some color coming back to his cheeks.

So that was something.

But he’d still not been sleeping great. Staying up all night hunched over his composition notebook filling it with scribblings of lyrics so overwrought and dramatic he could hardly imagine actually showing them to the band.

Shit, they’d probably laugh him out of Gareth’s garage if he did.

It wasn’t enough to look okay, though. Even if he looked perfect, even if he had the sun shining directly out of his asshole, it wouldn’t be enough. He needed to look like he hadn’t so much as thought about you in weeks. Like he hadn’t lain in his bed for days looking for your face in the stains on his ceiling. Like he hadn’t written the start of twenty-some letters only to wind up scratching through the words until the blacked out paper shredded beneath the ballpoint.

Then like an answer from the heavens, or more likely somewhere significantly further south, the bell over the front door jingled and Krista Washington walked inside.

Eddie remembered her from Hawkins High. She’d always been kinda shy and quiet, barely brave enough to buy a measly joint off Eddie now and again. But once she graduated and got out from under the thumb of her snobby cheerleading captain, she had come into her own a bit more.

And her eyes still glittered with that same old fascination when they fell on Eddie. 

Eddie didn’t think. He didn’t debate. He didn’t take a second to consider how colossally stupid of an idea this was—he just walked straight up to her and he poured every ounce of Munson charm he had to his name into getting her to follow him outside to talk by his van.

It wasn’t until he heard your car, your brakes screeching because he never got the chance to change out the pads like he’s meant to do, that he realized what a piece of shit this move made him.

While Krista, bless her heart, could have won an Oscar for a part she didn’t know she’d been cast in. Staring up at him with fluttering lashes and parted lips, that look in her eye like, 

“C’mon, genius. This is where you kiss me.”

And he could do it. Eddie saw some movement inside and he was pretty sure you were headed for the door. He might be able to time it just so that you step outside the moment Eddie’s lips touch the shiny, sticky peach gloss on Krista’s mouth.

He could do it…but he doesn’t. 

He knows he never would have.

Instead, he tucks his chin down into his chest and his hands drop from their spot on her waist. His face is riddled with regret, but Krista is hardly discouraged.

“Come on,” she says, taking his hand in hers and tugging on it. “Let’s go pick out the movie we’re gonna watch later.”

He lets her pull him along with her to the door, seeing in slow motion that you and her are going to run into one another. He watches silently as you nearly collide, never taking his eyes off you as Krista drifts away from blocking his view of you. And it’s killing him to do it, but he shuffles to the side so you can pass. Leaving only just enough space so he can catch one last whiff of you.

And was it so crazy for him to think (hope) you look half as miserable as he feels?

prev┃next

shout out to the song that I cried too many times to when I was 26 and a dumb boy made me realize I can't regulate my emotions for shit. it wasn't shocking news, but still.

[thattimdrakeguy]

I HAVE BEEN READING ZDARSKY BATMAN, AND I HAVE DECLARED: I FREAKING LOVE IT!!

I'm reading the Batman Zdarsky run in reverse. That way if I see any bull I can back out at anytime: and to be honest--besides a few things. I really enjoy it

LIKE YO, THAT IS JUST STRAIGHT UP TIM DRAKE RIGHT THERE. It knows who he is as a character. his motives, it's great.

Screw the people complaining "oh why is tim still robin :((", THIS IS WHY HE IS STILL ROBIN. Because this is when he's at his BEST. When he gets to hit his character purpose, WHEN HE GETS TO BE HIM AT HIS MOST HIM. It's FANTASTIC.

Reading in reverse because I know I hated the first story, it was so contrived and ridiculous.

But this--this is some good shit.

Tim being an underdog fighter, having to use his wits to win the fight? MY DAWG, MY DUDE, MY GUYS, MY GALS, MY THEMS, MY THEYS, THIS IS SO TIMMY DRAKE. This is so damn Tim Drake, guys. Oh, my gosh, I am loving this so far.

Dick has his temper back? And trust me, he isn't normally like this. But he's hitting a limit AND IT'S SOMETHING NEW, NOT JUST A REFERENCE. HE'S ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING HE'D DO, 'CAUSE HE'S AT HIS LIMIT. That's wonderful, man. That is so wonderful.

Plus Tim is the heart of the Bat-Family again? This feels like someone actually went back to read these characters before writing it. I'm not saying everything is perfect of course, but these high marks are exceeding all my expectations. And I STOPPED reading comics because of how the beginning of this run destroyed any hope I had.

You guys have no idea how much I'm enjoying the few issues I've read. Besides the cussing (I remember after a bit they decided Tim was someone who used funny words instead of proper cusses), this feels like the Tim I know and love during the era I especially loved him.

Tim comparing himself to his predecessors? Tim not being a natural? A WRITER REMEMBERING THAT?? It's been so long since I've seen that! Most writers treat him like he was another prodigy when he wasn't. AND THIS GUY REMEMBERED THAT!

I shouldn't be so happy at just seeing Tim do Tim things, and serving his character purpose. BUT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE A WRITER KNEW WHAT TIM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE.

Only complaints I have is that Jason feels like a typical Bat-Family member, and not the sketchy outsider that he is. Making him so close makes his character more bland in my opinion. And Steph is--also generic af unless she's wacky quirky...which is a characterization I hate for her, because she started off so damn interesting, but they made her a freaking trope instead, which is such a disservice to her, but she barely does anything so far, so whatever I guess. Doesn't mean much.

--

This is the first honest thing I've seen that I hated.

No

Not this

This isn't the Bat-Family

This is a sitcom world the fandom wants to be the Bat-Family and some comply with

They're not a sitcom. The conflicts, and uniqueness of the characters is what makes things feel alive and well.

This stuff is cheap fanservice for the fanon demographic that doesn't buy comics to begin with.

Fanon doesn't belong in canon.

--

I mean sure Tim could be drawn smaller, the gag of him looking 12 when he's nearly 18 doesn't work when he's bigger than Damian who is 15 (and contrary to some bullshit comics isn't meant to be small. that was a random thing added for writers who aren't clever to write better humor. it actually contradicts things that were already established).

Don't see the big deal though for most of this.

Can't wait to find it, though. Oh boy.

This whole obsession with Zur Batman, is way over done though. So--I wouldn't be shocked if that was the problem, because my golly does that plot point not seem to be stopping--and it was there from the start and part of the reason why I didn't read it 'til now.

Good Tim tho, at least. So heehee, yey for that--I think--I guess.

Oh, well.

It let me peak at a pseudo-version of an AU I made up years ago. So that's pretty freaking cool.

Always a plus.

And redoing Red Robin story beats but better? Normally I'd hate references to Red Robin, 'cause that changed the perception of so many characters for the worst, but ayy, a bit of redemption isn't bad.

Man, just seeing simple stuff like Tim and Bruce being good ol' classic Batman and Robin warms my heart. It's been so long since Batman and Robin has acted like a proper classic Batman and Robin. It's dynamic that's been sorely missed by many.

OH, MY GOSH, WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO STINK SO BAD. THIS STUFF IS GREAT.

Like, DUDE, this is such a Tim thing for him to do!!

And he's showing emotion?? He's crying like how he does?? Because he's not a typical Bat-Family member who just angsts his way through?? THEY'RE MAKING HIM STAND-OUT AGAIN BY MAKING HIM, HIM??

WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO SUCK SO BAD?? THIS IS GOOD SHIT.

Like this part is why I originally stopped reading, not because Bruce should think Tim is his soldier, and not his son, THE FREAKING OPPOSITE.

But because the original story has Bruce acting weird when unneeded, just to say this was so unneeded, and adding in all these stupid corny Bat-Family moments was so groan worthy.

This run started off with a story that was a total turn off for me.

To end up being a run that could've kept me enjoying DC, rather than running away from it from as far as I have.

Chip Zdarsky started off awful, but really, he ended up great.

And I've seen people complain about his run, and TRUST ME, there's stuff to complain about. But I have only ever seen the stuff worth complaining about, or stuff I WOULD complain about.

WHEN MOST OF THE RUN IS GOOD

At least when Tim is around.

Go figure.

Maybe I should've paid sole attention to how he wrote Tim and nothing else at the very least for that first story.

'Cause even in the first story, Tim was well-written--it's how cheap the rest of the story telling was in that first story that turned me off--and the weird knew about the movie plans that I am still fully judging harshly. (Love the new Superman film suit, though)

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Obey me idea: what if MC was turned into a sheep for anonymity’s sake? Say Diavolo realized that a lot of demons hate humans and have long memories so he turned MC into a sheep and gave them a fake name to protect them from retaliation after the exchange was over? And the brothers turn yandere for MC over the course of the exchange but they have no idea who they are? Then MC leaves (and prob didn’t leave a contact number cause they saw the red flags lol) and they freak out and try to find them again? It’s like a dark version of Cinderella, where the brothers try to clue together where they could find MC, and when they do… the reunion will be fantastic 😊 so what would the brothers reactions be in this case?

Anonymous Sheep | Yandere Obey Me

Leaving it to Diavolo to make a conscious decision about your safety 

Never in a million years

But let's suspend our disbelief 

Let's say Diavolo actually had the forethought to put this in place for your protection against his favorite brothers

Ignoring the torture you ensued with your size, lack of hands, and your voice probably sounding weird

You’re mad grateful when it comes time to leave

Probably expressing your gratefulness when you start hanging out with him

He’s just so sad when you leave 

And even Barbatos is missing your presence in the castle 

So hey while the brothers are scrambling the internet and flying overhead in the human world to find some clue

Diavolo’s spending a lot more time in his new hotel

Hanging out with a specifically familiar human…

“Oh (Y/n)? No no, they're just…a friend…I made…who’s uh familiar with the human world…?”

Diavolo’s really bad with lying 

And eventually, Lucifer or Satan is picking up on the snake in the grass

“Hey…(Y/n) you ever heard about the devil dom?”

“What’s that?”

You best play dumb within an inch of your life

No nicknames, no laughing, nothing that gives you away

But the brothers are sly 

Satan or even Levi is slipping something into your food or trapping you in a perilous situation 

That forces you to admit your identity 

And when you do you are in trouble

“Ahhh~so, you thought you could run from us? With Diavolo no less? I’m sooo jealous!”

“Though we don’t have to be anymore now do we? Now that we found you we can take you back with us, right?”

“Yeah, not to mention we’ll get to discover this whole new side of you…the side you hid from us.” 

“Don’t pout, this is your fault for not giving us any way to contact you.”

“Yup! Speaking of do you have discord? Let me get it now! Or even better give me your password I’ll just see what you’ve got going on over here.”

“(Y/n), you're as light as you were before…I’ll have to make sure you eat more when we get home.”

The only one who can save you now is Diavolo or Barbatos

But Diavolo’s torn 

He loves being a part of the fun drama

What’s more fun than the siblings getting to know you more

“I’m interested to see what you guys think of the real (Y/n)! Haha, we’re already well acquainted. So I know everything…for the most part.”

[choiseungcheolprincess]

Monster In Me// Choi Seungcheol

NonIdol!College!SeungcheolXBlackFem!Reader

WordCount: 4.9k

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

Summary: For the last three years Y/n has been close friends with the 12 men that have come into her life by chance. She's not as close with one of them, and that's Choi Seungcheol. It's not that she hasn't tried, when she did try he'd get all stiff and ignore her. When Y/n finally had enough of him and enough liquor in her system. She decides to confront him about his behavior. She doesn't expect the answer that she's given.

“How the hell am I gonna get through this semester?” I looked at the dramatic scene unfolding in front of me. Hansol just sat there with his eyebrow raised. At the same time, Seungkwan freaked out about whatever things he had to worry about for this semester. 

“Kwannie, I don’t know why you’re freaking out. You got this,” I said editing my monthly planner and looking up to meet his glaring gaze. 

“Says the girl who’s taking a social worker and psychology course.” leaning back in my chair and stretching my arms out, then sipping my coffee. “I don’t know how you make everything look so simple Y/N,” Hansol said. Honestly, I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about. I’m far from being calm about everything. I can’t even look at a syllabus without my eyes going cross-eyed. 

“What do you mean I make everything look so simple?” I asked, genuinely confused about what he meant by that. He shrugged and then gestured toward my iPad. 

“You just always seem so composed and focused. Like you done figured it all out” I laughed not at him, but at the fact that I seemed like I figured it out, because I do not have it all together. 

“Hansol, would you believe me if I told you I do not have it all figured out? Because I don’t, you know who has it together, Xu Minghao and Moon221

“Seungkwan! Hansol! Y/N!” Someone yelled. I saw Chan running over while the others walked behind him. When I first came to Korea I met Hansol, I accidentally ran into him at the airport, and then on campus. Once he opened up, he introduced me to his huge group of friends. They all accepted me. Well, I think they all did.  Chan, Hansol, and Seungkawn were my closest friends in the group, and they always made sure to keep me company. They were like brothers to me. They always looked out for me and made sure I felt safe and comfortable. Minghao is quiet, but not in a bad way. I realized that he just lives in the moment. Very observant and brutally honest. Mingyu and Seokmin are like rays of sunshine. Mingyu is a fantastic cook and that’s how he shows his love (I’m not complaining at all) sometimes Mingyu is clingy, but I love him anyway. Seokmin is just the most lovable person I ever met. He’s kind and gentle, the kind of man your parents will want you to bring home. Then you have Jihoon, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and Jun Jihoon is a music producer and doesn’t leave his studio much. Wonwoo, he’s a game streamer and a very popular one at that. He’s a great person, nice, and caring, he also doesn’t talk much. Unless it’s about a game he finished the night before. Jun is a quiet man, but he’s very strange sometimes. Simply put he’s a cat in a human body, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything in this world. Last, but not least are Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol. Joshua is a gentleman, that you don’t want to get on the wrong side of because he can be very petty at times. Jeonghan is a very cunning, mysterious man. Who just so happens to know everything before any and everyone. Now Seungcheol, that’s a little difficult I’m not as close to him as I am to everyone else. Matter of fact I never actually held a long conversation with him. Every time we near each other he gets stiff and rushes to leave. That kind of makes me think he doesn’t like me. Also raises the question did I do or say something to make him so skittish around me? All I know is that he’s on the University’s basketball team and is the captain of the team, and he’s the most attractive guy I’ve ever laid my eyes on. No, I haven’t ever said that out loud before, At least I don’t think I have said it…Anyway, that’s beside the point. The point is what the hell have I done to the man that he acts like that this? 

“Are we still hanging out Friday?” Mingyu asked. Everyone hummed in agreement I just sat there silently. Until Mingyu nudged me. 

“Y/n?” I glanced up looking at him before looking at everyone else. Seungcheol and I  made eye contact before he glanced away. 

“O-oh yeah, I’m free Friday,” I said smiling softly. They all cheered. I glanced back at Seungcheol giving him a soft smile, he gave a shy smile and turned to talk to Joshua. Jeonghan on the other hand was just smirking at me. Confused I ignored it and kept talking to Mingyu and Seokmin about plans for Friday. 

For the next few days, I did the same routine. Class, hang out with the guys, and then do my homework, then go to work. Then home to do it all over again, but when Friday comes I meet up with Seungkwan, Hansol, Chan, and his girlfriend Gracie. 

“Did I do something to Cheol? I mean every time I try to talk to him, he seems to completely ignore my presence like it’s a real inconvenience or something.” When I asked they all got quiet. 

“I don’t think it’s the fact that he doesn’t like you Y/n. Maybe he’s shy?” Seungkwan said placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. 

“Three years shy? Kwannie let’s be serious. He just doesn’t like me and I don’t know why. Or want to know why at this point..” I sighed and realized we got to Jihoon’s house and walked in going straight to grab a cup of whatever sinful liquid I could get my hands on. 

After an hour I’m sitting in the backyard with Joshua, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, Seokmin, Seungkwan, Mingyu, and Seungcheol. We were currently watching Soonyoung and Seungkwan playfully bicker. That was until the four of them left leaving me with Joshua and Seungcheol. Who was surprisingly sitting in the chair next to me? I sat there in silence looking at the clouds and the moon and not paying attention to the conversation the two men were having. 

“I’ll be back, I have to go to the bathroom,” Joshua said getting up and jogging back into the house leaving me with Seungcheol. At this point, I had maybe 3 cups of mysterious liquor that Chan had made and handed to me so I was feeling pretty bold. Yes, I know exactly what I’m doing, but my brain and my mouth are not on the same page because the words leave my mouth before I can even realize it. 

"Do you dislike me or something?" I asked seriously making his eyes widen. We wouldn't be having this conversation if Joshua didn't leave us out here alone. Drinking. I possibly wouldn't have asked this stupid ass question. You know how in school they say there's no such thing as a stupid question? Well them fuckers lied. Cause I just asked one.  Seungcheol just looked at me for a few then at his drink. Lifting the cup to his lips and drinking the whole thing. before standing up grabbing my hand and pulling me toward him chest-to-chest.

"I don't dislike you. It's just hard for me to be near you." He whispered his lips softly brushing against mine. I didn't back away. I was anticipating his next move.

"Ever since you became one of the most important people in my life, I just didn't want to mess anything up. So I stayed away from you. I guess I should've thought it through, but since you wanna know so bad." His hand ran down my side stopping to grab my waist and pulling me closer. His head dipped down to my neck, Nose running over my skin leaving goosebumps on my skin.

"I crave you Y/N, I can't think straight when you're near me. I want to do so many things to you that just a taste won't even satisfy me. So if you don't want that, I have to stay far away from you, because if not, We'll be locked in my room for as long as possible so I can get acquainted with every inch of this beautiful body. I wanna break you and put you back together again, and make sure the only name you remember is mine" He kissed my neck. I sighed, but before I could say anything he walked away, which left me confused.

  "What the fuck was that?" I asked myself. Before walking after him. I caught up with him and grabbed his arm. "What was that?" I asked. He didn't respond just smirked. I bit my lip staring up at him.

“Cheol, you can’t just ignore me” He smiled. 

“I’m not ignoring you, baby. Just want to give you some time to think about what I said” He leaned down hand on my cheek, then gently placed his lips on mine. Before I could even kiss him back he pulled away. 

“When you’re ready..you’ll know where to find me” He whispered then walked away. Leaving me standing there in Jihoon’s driveway shocked.  When I walked back into the house everyone looked at me. 

“Where’s Cheol?” Joshua asked I simply said that he went home, and nothing else. Not even a summary of what happened. I told Seungkwan I was gonna go home, then bid my ‘see you later to everyone and their partners. 

“I’ll come with you,” Crystal, Wonwoo’s girlfriend said looking at the rest of the girls. They all nodded in agreeance. Walking over to me smiling. 

“Let’s know when you get there yeah?” Minghao said We hummed our answer grabbed our things and walked out the door. The walk started quiet, my brain on overdrive. Still thinking about the feel of Cheol’s lips on mine. Bonnie and Tara looked at me 

“Wanna tell us what’s going on?” Tara asked me. Shaking me out of my head 

“Huh?” I said 

“You and Cheol were the only two people that were outside. Only you came into the house, through the front door, when you both were in the back. What happened?”, I shook my head. "Nothing," I lied. They exchanged a look but didn't say anything. We continued our walk in silence, my heart still pounding in my chest. 

“I asked Seungcheol if there was something that I did for him to dislike me, and the answer I got wasn’t what I expected it to be. When I asked him what that was he told me ‘When you ready, you’ll know where to find me’ What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I said they all stopped and looked at me. 

“What?” I asked looking at them. 

“We need to get you home so we can all have some wine and talk this out,” Bonnie said. 

It’s been a few days since the hang-out at Jihoon’s and the girls spent the entire weekend with me. I told them fully what Seungcheol said to me and they were flabbergasted, just like I was. When I asked them what should I do. They said and I quote: “After three years and the way he made you feel, he can wait a few more days for you”  Now I know they are right, but here’s the thing I’ve been dreaming about the man ever since that night. I dream about his lips and hands on my body. Him telling me that I’m a good girl and makes me cum over and over and over again until I can’t take any more. It’s so bad that my fingers aren’t even enough to satisfy me. I haven’t even kissed the guy and my body craves him more than anything else. I was walking to my lecture and bumped into him. 

“Y/n are you okay?” He asked steading me his hands on my waist. I nodded biting my lip he looked at my lips and leaned in my ear whispering. 

“Stop biting your lip, before I bite it for you baby”  I froze on the spot, my heart pounding. I soon pulled away and waved at him walking away. I obviously can’t avoid him since we are in the same friend group. Can I? Shit when did I get so down bad?  I took a deep breath and tried to keep my head up. I had to face him eventually. I just kept walking and tried to focus on getting to my lecture.

When my lecture was over I went to the cafe for a cup of coffee before I went the rest of my day, Until Mingyu, Wonwoo, Minghao, Tara, Bonnie, Seungcheol and Crystal walked in. 

“Hey, Y/n,” Bonnie said smiling standing next to me I smiled back at her. Feeling Cheol’s eyes on me. Trying to ignore him I strike up a conversation with Bonnie and Tara who just raised her eyebrow at me.    

I slightly shook my head and she frowned. Tara is supportive of me just giving into the temptation and just bending over for Cheol to have him fuck me 200 ways from Sunday. We all sat down at a table with our drinks and started talking about Seokmin’s play that was opening at the end of next week. 

“And he’s the lead male? I know he’s excited and working hard to make sure he puts on one of the best performances.” I said smiling at everyone, picking the straw up to lick at the whipped cream. I felt Cheols eyes on me the entire time. I tried my hardest not to look at him but glanced in his direction. His eyes are blank and dark with want. His eyes sucked me in and showed me how desperately he wanted me. His eyes scanned me until they landed on my l, making me bite on my lower lip. His eyes narrowed and he pouted. I chuckled at the cuteness. 

“Oh, Cheol don’t you have a game this Friday?” Wonwoo asked He looked away from me looking at Wonwoo. 

“Yeah, win this one, and off to the championships,” He said. I looked back a Bonnie and Tara who just looked at me. 

“I uhh, I need to go study. I have an exam tomorrow and unfortunately, Professor Park is a major ass” I said getting up leaving the cafe, and walking home. Once I was a few blocks away I heard someone call my name turning to Seungcheol. I stopped waiting for him. 

“You are such a fucking tease baby girl,” He said to me once I was within earshot I smirked, but didn’t say anything back. Just continued to walk. He followed me, and not a word was spoken. That was until we got to my place. Once inside with the door closed it was like a switch flipped on because he grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall.  His lips were on mine and his hands were everywhere. He was rough and forceful, and I welcomed it. I felt my body come alive as I felt myself getting lost in the moment. He grabbed my neck, his thumb stroking one side. He pulled away looking down at me. 

“Fuck baby, you're killing me,” He said. I looked at him through my eyelashes, biting my lip again he groaned, his finger pulling my lip from my teeth leaning down and biting it making me gasp. 

“You even make the most pretty noises, fuck pretty,” He said  He pulled me closer, his lips crashing against mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth. I moaned into his mouth, his hand traveling down my body, unbuttoning my jeans, he put his hand in my pants. 

“Take them off,” I said against his lips. He smiled.  He slowly unzipped my jeans and pulled them off, leaving me in just my panties and a shirt. Kissing me again, his lips left mine and trailed down my neck, his hands cupping my breasts. He groaned in pleasure as I moaned in response. Still moving down my body, I glanced down seeing him on his knees, I spread my legs as he started to kiss up my thighs. 

“Cheol” I moaned. 

“I meant what I said about wanting to break you and put you back together, make you forget about everything else and remember my name only.” He said before sliding his tongue over my clit. I gasped my hand reaching down and pulling his hair making him groan.  His tongue circled my clit as my body trembled in pleasure.  Cheol continued to work his magic with his tongue, expertly teasing and pleasuring me. Every flick, every swirl of his tongue sent waves of pleasure through my body, making me moan and squirm against the wall. It was as if he knew exactly how to drive me wild, and I couldn't help but surrender to the overwhelming ecstasy he was giving me. I was close. So. Fucking. Close. That was until he pulled away. Making me whine. 

“Cheol I was so close..” I whined he spanked the inside of my thigh making me gasp at the sudden action.  He smirked and whispered in my ear “Not yet baby. I’m not done yet.” He stepped back and left me trembling against the wall, wanting more. I couldn’t move. The wall was the only thing keeping me up. Standing in front of me looking me up and down I spread my legs, My fingers sliding down as I held eye contact with him 

Cheol's eyes darkened with desire as he watched me, his breath becoming more ragged. The anticipation in the air was electric, and I could tell he was struggling to maintain control. I continued to tease him, slowly running my fingers along my inner thighs, feeling the heat and wetness building between my legs. Sinking my fingers into my cunt, I moaned he just watched. His breathing picked up as he balled his hands into a fist. 

“Fuck, Cheol don’t you wanna fuck me? Can’t tell you how many times I thought of you fucking me on every surface of this place.” I said fucking myself with my fingers. He took a small step towards me. “Always wanted to know how your heavy cock will feel in my mouth” I whimpered. That was enough to get him to grab my wrist and take my hand out from between my legs, up to his mouth sucking the arousal from my fingers and pulling me towards him in the process. 

“Who told you, you can touch my pussy baby girl?” He said, sucking my fingers. Muttering how good I taste. When he was done he dropped my hand grabbed my thighs picked me up and kissed me.  I moaned into his mouth, feeling my pussy getting wetter. He carried me to the bed and laid me down, then leaned down and kissed me again. He pulled away and looked at me, his expression intense.

“Your pussy? If it’s yours why haven’t you filled it up hmm? Why have I had to fill it with my fingers instead?” I said kissing down his neck 

Cheol's eyes burned with desire as he devoured my words, his grip tightening around my thighs. With a wicked smile, he whispered, "You want me to fill you up, baby? Well, tonight, I'm going to make you beg for it. And when I finally do, you won't be able to handle the pleasure." His words sent a shiver down my spine, fueling my desperation.  We got to my room and he dropped me onto the bed. Sitting he reached for my shirt took it off then reached for my bra unsnapping it. He sucked in a breath, putting my feet on the bed and spreading them while playing with my nipples. My eyes darted down to the bulge in his pants. I made my way off the bed kneeling in front of him and unbuckling his pants. His dick sprung out  I slowly took him in my mouth, savoring the sensation as he moaned in pleasure. His grip tightened on my hair as he felt my expert touch. I continued to work my way up and down his shaft, feeling him grow harder with each movement. He sighed, touching my hair when I finally took him into my mouth. I continued to work my way up and down his shaft, feeling him grow harder with each movement. The taste of him filled my mouth as I savored his pleasure, my tongue swirling around him. 

“Fuck Y/n” His grip tightened on my hair, guiding me deeper, and I eagerly obliged, taking him in as far as I could. The sound of his moans of pleasure spurred me on, my desire growing with each passing second. I couldn’t help but slide my hand between my legs and rub my clit making me moan against him. He pulled me off of him. 

“Aht, aht, I didn’t say you can touch that pretty pussy did I?” He said I shook my head, 

“Words baby,”  He said. 

“No, you didn’t say I can touch myself,” I said moving my hand onto his thigh he smiled. Guiding my head back to his cock. I opened my mouth and took him in, my lips and tongue exploring every inch of him. His moans of pleasure echoed in my ears as I worked my way up and down. His grip tightened on my head, I looked up at him, Cheol's eyes darkened with lust as he pulled me closer, his hand still tangled in my hair. "Open wide," he commanded, and I obediently complied, parting my lips and allowing him to slide his length back into my mouth. He began to thrust, his pace steady but insistent, each movement pushing him deeper into my throat. Tears welled up in my eyes as I gagged slightly, but the sensation only seemed to heighten his pleasure. 

“Fuck, so pretty like this baby, ” He said as my nose hit his lower stomach, I gagged again, drooling. He pulled out of my mouth and thrusted back in hitting the back of my throat. Breathing through my nose he looked down at me mouth dropping open. 

“Shit, can I cum down your throat baby?” He asked I made a noise, saying yes. He moaned at the vibrations coming from me  He smirked as he watched me choke and gag, his thrusts becoming faster and more intense. I could feel myself getting wetter with each movement, my breathing ragged and my body trembling. Finally, with one last thrust, he came. I swallowed as much as I could before he pulled out. Licking the rest from his tip making him shiver in pleasure. 

“Such a good girl…” He said bending down and kissing me. I moaned “Good…fucking…girl”  He pulled me close and whispered in my ear, “Now, it's my turn.” He picked me up and took me to the bed, I spread my legs he looked at me like a predator ready to eat its prey.  Cheol's eyes darkened with hunger as he knelt between my legs. He leaned in, his breath hot against my sensitive skin, and placed a gentle kiss on my inner thigh, making me shiver. Slowly, he traced a path of kisses closer to my core, teasing me with each soft touch. Finally, his tongue flicked out to taste me, sending a jolt of pleasure through my body. His hands gripped my hips, holding me in place as he delved deeper, his tongue exploring every inch of me with deliberate, skillful strokes. Moans escaped my lips, my fingers tangling in his hair. 

“Oh fuck,” I moaned out. His fingers joined the fray, sliding into me with ease, curling just right to hit that perfect spot inside. The combination of his tongue and fingers sent waves of ecstasy crashing over me, my body arching off the bed. Cheol's pace quickened, his free hand gripping my thigh to keep me still as he devoured me with unrestrained hunger, my moans filling the room as I teetered on the edge of release.

“Yes, yes, yes! Fuck!” I screamed toes curling, he didn’t let up, and our eyes made contact, as he put his lips on my clit and sucked making me give into the pleasure. I was lost in a whirl of pleasure, my body trembling as I reached the heights of pleasure. Cheol's lips and fingers continued their assault on my body, pushing me closer and closer to the ultimate release. Finally, my body exploded in pleasure, my orgasm washing over me in waves. Working me through my orgasm, My thighs closed around him, but his hand spread them. He pulled away his thumb on my clit fingers still hitting my g-spot. 

“Give me another baby,” He said kissing my thigh, then placing his tongue on my clit.  Cheol didn't relent; his relentless fingers and expert tongue continued their assault, driving me to the brink of madness. The intensity of his touch sent shockwaves through my already sensitive body, my breath coming in ragged gasps. I could feel another orgasm building, even stronger than the first, as he pushed me beyond my limits, making me cry out in a mix of pleasure and desperation.

“Please Cheol!” I moaned, He didn’t move, 

Tears of overwhelming pleasure streamed down my face as Cheol's relentless assault on my body continued. His fingers curled inside me with perfect precision, while his tongue flicked my clit with agonizing skill. "Please, Cheol! I can't... it's too much," I whimpered, my body trembling violently. He looked up at me with a glint of determination in his eyes, his free hand stroking my thigh soothingly. 

"You can do it, baby. Just one more for me okay?” I felt that familiar tightness in my core again my back arched as I had another earth-shattering orgasm 

“Seungcheol!” I screamed out gasping. Working me through it. When I was finished he pulled away kissing up my body. 

“Good fucking girl” he kept repeating he got to my face and kissed me. Sliding his tip between my lips hitting my clit. 

“Please fuck me…” I whimpered out grinding against him. He hummed kissing my neck and making sure he left his marks on me 

“I wanna mark you until there’s no space left on your body..” He whispered his voice rough, I couldn’t help, but grind against him again making him slide in me. Just the tip, he looked down. 

“So needy aren’t you baby?” he said, I couldn’t say anything, just tried to pull him into me, He stopped me. 

“No baby, beg. Beg me to fuck your pretty pussy” He said slipping out of me and spanking my clit with his cock. I whined. 

“Please Seungcheol, please fuck me..” 

“You could do better than that princess can’t you?” He said teasingly, Pushing into me slightly, and pulling out again. 

“Seungcheol, f-fuck.. Please fuck my pretty tight pussy, I wanna cum around you, Fuck don’t you wanna cum in me, please fill me baby” I begged. He smiled thrusting into me and filling me up. He groaned out, not giving me a chance to get used to him. He started slow and deep, taking my legs in his hands and kissing my ankle. 

“Cheol, don’t hold back” I moaned out he raised his eyebrow, and I nodded 

“Fuck me…fuck me,” I said repeatedly each time I said it he sped up, Dropping my legs down. My hands on his arms nails digging into his arms. He groaned at the pain leaning down to kiss me. I bit his lip and he moaned. 

“Fuuck, princess,” He said against my lips. He grabbed my hips and told me to wrap my arms around him. Listening to his words he flipped us over. His back on the headboard me on top of him, He didn’t have to tell me what to do I leaned back got on my feet, and started bouncing on his cock, He met every bounce with a thrust. Moaning his name like a mantra he wrapped his hand around my neck cutting off the blood flow, making me even wetter. I couldn’t even think about anything, but him. His other hand spanking each thigh then playing with my clit. 

He has me seeing stars. My core once again tightened, my walls squeezing him making him whimper. 

“Ahh shit, you gonna cum on me baby?” He said the circles on my clit getting faster, My eyes on his vision blurred. I nodded. 

“Cum for me, be a good little princess, and cum for me.” He said, My body shook and my eyes closed tears falling from the pleasure. My body tensed and I let go. Which triggered Cheol’s orgasm. His thrust picked up, breath hitched, he let out a grunt then gasped. 

“Shit, you feel so fucking good baby…So fuck beautiful” He grunted out. I collapsed on him still writhing. His arms wrapped around me hands running up and down my back. 

“You were so good, baby..” He said whispering sweet nothings in my ear. When I caught my breath I looked at him he smiled kissing me. Then said. 

“Baby, I’m not even close to being done with you.” I laughed. 

“Give me a few” Kissing him again resting my head on his shoulder. He kept his promise that night, he broke me and put me back together multiple times that nigh

[guillotine-drop]

Rating POSTAL Dudes by how good they smell:

POSTAL - 9/10: I think his habitual reclusion and distrust of the world would probably mean he’s showering constantly, moreso than any other Dude, especially if he thinks there’s a ‘Hate Plague’ going on. I think he smells basic; very simple routine, just enough to make sure he feels clean, so at most he’ll smell like some generic 3-in-1 body wash and shampoo/conditioner, maybe something slightly nicer just for himself (some decent $15 aftershave for that menthol scent and cooling relief).

POSTAL Redux - 3/10: Exact opposite of his original incarnation, this greasy son of a bitch isn’t scared of shit he just wants to throw explosives at ostriches and parades. Barely showers, constantly stinks of stale sweat, old blood, cheap leather and cheaper cologne, punctuated with the scent of burnt gunpowder. Borderline noxious.

POSTAL 2 - 4/10: Smells just as bad as Redux Dude but gets the edge here because every now and then he goes outside and uses the neighbor’s hose to blast himself. Shockingly uses deodorant, still not enough to be perpetually leather and denim clad in the great state of Arizona. Almost constantly reeks of sweat and has the recognizable yet faint scent of stale piss wafting off of him, accompanied by the scent of even staler crack and pungent fast food. Almost pungent enough to drown the rest out. Almost.

POSTAL 3 - 2/10: If you were to raid the wash cart after a double overtime football game, steal every jockstrap in the place, wring the sweat into a bucket, and then bring it all to a boil, you’d have somewhere in the realm of what a clean P3 Dude smells like. On average, however, this man has managed to combine the overwhelming sensory nightmares of cat piss and cheap spray deodorant into an almost lethal concoction, ONLY made breathable by the strange and overpowering smell of gasoline that seems to seep from his pores. Approach with caution and for the love of god: do not bring bleach or matches near this freak.

POSTAL 4: No Regerts - 5/10: Despite looking like he crawled out of a dumpster after a bad divorce or a fantastic honeymoon, P4 Dude is shockingly passable in terms of being able to stand next to him for a prolonged period without gagging or killing him. Having learned the efficacy of not being encased in leather in the desert, he’s managed to bring his pungency down several notches. Still reeks of sweat most of the time, and the smell of burger grease and pepperoni follows him like a specter of death, but the piss scent stopped clinging on as hard. He’s also upgraded from hose showers with no supplies to sink baths with tiny gas station travel soaps. It’s an improvement, trust me.

Brain Damaged - 2/10: Take a look at his living space in the title screen, then watch the game’s cutscenes. Just soak it all in. Now that you’ve done that, you can understand that his rank ass smells exactly as bad as you might think it does. If it can come out of his body, it’s probably soaking some part of him. If you think any of the clothes on him have been washed, you’re wrong. This man smells like if someone firebombed an outhouse and pissed on it to put it out. The best thing for him would be getting blasted with a firehouse and a box of laundry detergent. Please.

The Other Dude - 1-10/10: Entirely depends on how the BD Dude would imagine he smells depending on the situation.

POOSTALL Dude - 6/10: Despite the name, this one actually smells pretty decent. The clearly larger coat with the rolled sleeves implies some level of understanding about how not to smell like swamp ass and sweat soaked leather, and truthfully, he looks like he bathes semi-regularly, a rarity amongst these guys.

POSTAL Doe - 9/10: I admit fully and entirely to my lack of impartiality to this one, but I’m willing to stand by it even if I lose my Stink Judge License: first of all, sleeveless leather trench coat AND a crop top mean less overheat which means less sweat. Second of all, visually cleaner than pretty much any of the dudes which implies some kind of self care regimen. Third, and most importantly, girlstink counts positive. I will not be turning in my badge or my gun.

Movie Dude - 8/10: This may be controversial, but despite the squalor he lives in and the fact that hems a cuckold and that his life sucks and that he can’t get a job and that he’s a loser- I digress. I think Movie Dude is in the top echelons of Dude Stink solely because I think he’d have a breakdown if he smelled bad. This man uses Dr. Teals. He stinks like a mix of eucalyptus and peppermint. If ever there was a Dude who had a skin routine, he still wouldn’t, but he’d definitely think about it one day. I think by the end he gets an extra point just because he gets a little hotter the more deranged he is. Overall very pleasant but I still wouldn’t give him $4.

John Murray - 2/10: Hasselridge seems to have a very… interesting relationship with what is and isn’t normal, so unsurprisingly, Johnny Boy would probably smell pretty rough. Considering how dingy, run down and shitty everything in that town appears to be, I can’t imagine anyone else is smelling like roses either. Just avoid the entire place, not least of all because of the zombie thing.

Shtopor - 0/10: Bad.

Nottem Portant - 5/10: Despite the misanthropy, dollar store Nathan Explosion thing and the absolutely abysmal gameplay, Mr. Hatred is actually extremely middle of the road on stink. Sure, he doesn’t smell great, but shockingly he washes his ass despite the whole ‘death to humanity’ thing. He does get point deduction for not washing his hair though, grease mop motherfucker.

[little-cereal-draws]

Ok so I think I figured out why the panic attack scene is so great (or at least in my opinion)

It’s told from an outside perspective.

Panic attacks are horrible. You feel like the worlds crashing down and you can’t breathe and you get tunnel vision and you’re dying and it’s the end of the world. But to outsiders, I mean they look bad, but it’s mostly just shaking and gasping and stuff. Not nearly as catastrophic as they feel.

Now, I can’t remember a ton of times a character in a tv show/movie has had a panic attack (that wasn’t used as comedic purposes) but the ones I can remember, mostly focused on the person having it. The warped sounds, tunnel vision, etc. We were experiencing it through their eyes. And this approach has its appeals; it shows the severity panic attacks can have, makes the audience more sympathetic to the character, and lets the creative team have a bit of fun w how they draw it. And puss in boots does that very briefly when Perrito is asking him what’s wrong but for the most part, it’s not told from puss’s pov.

It shows what panic attacks actually look like instead of how they feel and shows how scary they can be even wo all the artistic liberties. It’s still a terrifying scene, listening to him hyperventilate on the floor surrounded by dead trees but it just tells the audience, “this is what panic attacks are like.” No flashing colors or fisheye lenses, just not being able to breathe on the floor. And in my own experience, that’s a lot more accurate too than all the artistic liberties other shows take.

And the outside perspective also allows a whole new set of feelings to be explored. As an audience, we already know why puss is freaking out so staying w puss would just reenforce smth the audience already knows. Instead, we get to see Perrito worry about his friend and start panicking himself when he’s not responding to him. We get to see him figure out how to help and be relieved when it works. And that makes the forehead touch/talk afterwards that much better. We know the extent Perritos love for his friends in a tangible way, not just him saying it, and it’s the first time puss accepts help from someone else.

Anyway, it’s just a fantastic scene and I wish I was in the room when they scripted it

[withacapitalp]

On the first day of school, Eddie had stood on their table in the cafeteria and declared that this was going to be his year. 

Well, ‘86 was going to be his year. Technically it was still ‘85 for three more months, but semantics semantics.  The rest of the club was confused, not exactly sure why he felt like this year was going to be different to the years of torture and mayhem that had proceeded it, but they appreciated Eddie’s insane amounts of optimism. 

Then two weeks later, Eddie spotted a group of lost little freshmen sheep. The one wearing a Weird Al t-shirt introduced himself as Dustin Henderson when Eddie came over to offer them refuge amongst the freaks of the school, and there was no doubt in the world that Eddie had been right. 

‘86 was going to be his year. 

Because it wasn’t like Dustin was a super rare name, but Eddie had never met a Dustin in Hawkins before that day. Meeting Dustin Henderson wasn’t just a fantastic coincidence, it was fate in action. 

Because Dustin Henderson was going to be the reason Eddie met his soulmate. 

Eddie had never shown anyone but Wayne his words. They had always been something sacred, special, no one else needed to know. There were people who showed everyone in the world, always looking for the person that might be the one to complete them, the one who would have words that matched their own. Eddie wasn’t one of those people. 

Even Gareth didn’t know.  

But, every night before bed, Eddie would carefully unwrap the bandage he always kept wound around his upper arm, looking down at the words and carefully tracing them with a single fingertip. 

Yeah. On Dust-Dustin’s mother. 

Dustin’s mother. They were so distinctive, so unique. It wasn’t the thing everyone dreaded- ‘How are you?’, ‘How can I help you?’, or even the worst, ‘Hi’. Eddie’s words were special, and that meant his soulmate was special too. 

Eddie had no idea what to expect from that first conversation, but he knew it was going to be wild. Probably some long winded crazy debate with laughter and sharp quips, and finally those words pushed out between giggles, which was the reason they would be shuttered. 

What Eddie never would have expected was to hear those words come out of Steve’s Harrington’s mouth. 

He never even thought that the words might be stuttered in fear, not laughter. Fear because of Eddie. Fear because of the broken bottle being held against his neck by his own damn soulmate.

Except no. No it couldn’t be him. Steve Harrington was not his soulmate. Steve Harrington was a jock douchebag, the kind of person Eddie had spent his entire life campaigning against. Steve Harrington was the epitome of everything Eddie wasn’t, and there was no way the universe or fate or god meant for them to be together. 

There had to be someone else in the room, someone he hadn’t seen who was going to appear out of the darkness and repeat exactly what Steve said.  

“Did you just say the words Dustin’s fucking mother to me?” Eddie growled out, desperate to be wrong, watching as Steve’s face grew impossibly whiter. There was a sharp burn on his upper arm, and he shakily dropped the bottle, hearing it shatter on the ground between the two of them. 

No doubt about it. Steve Harrington was his fucking soulmate. 

“Oh my god,” Robin Buckley said faintly from the background, but Eddie didn’t turn to face her. He couldn’t turn away from Steve, who was staring at him with the widest, most beautiful set of brown eyes Eddie had ever seen. 

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Steve offered, his voice barely more than a whisper. 

Eddie stumbled backward, the back of his thighs hitting up against the boat he had been hiding in. He roughly jerked at the right sleeve of his shirt, pulling it upward until the deep black words were visible, standing out against his pale skin. 

Steve fell back against the side of the boat house with a shaking sigh, slowly pulling off his jacket and peeling back one side of his stupid button down polo. He had left the top three buttons undone which made it easy for Steve to expose his soulmark to the rest of them. 

And there, sitting right over Steve’s heart, were the words he had just said.

Did you just say the words Dustin's fucking mother to me?

The first words Eddie Munson had ever directly said to Steve Harrington. 

[plus-size-reader]

Sweetheart

Horrorfest 2023

Charlie Walker x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2658 words

Warnings: none really. Just a little horror talk.

At the request of @armyangxls Hope you enjoy it love!

Summary: Inviting Charlie over when the murders start so you don't have to be alone.

—————————————————————————————————

You had always loved a night in.

Whether it was a cozy night spent snuggled up with a blanket and a good book, or a new release of a gory slasher you’d been anxiously waiting to get your hands on, it felt like there was nothing better in the world than being home. 

…but you had to admit that there was one thing that topped even your favorite at-home activity. 

Cinema Club. 

Which, while admittedly only being adjacent to what you’d be doing anyway, did offer the occasional change of scenery that you grew to greatly appreciate. ‘

The Woodsboro High School Cinema Club was the one place in the world where the film geeks and creatives at your school could come together to co-exist, which had been more than enough to draw you in. 

You had always loved movies as a means of expression and any opportunity to talk about them with people who enjoyed them just as much was too good to pass up. 

That wasn’t what really sealed the deal for you though. 

What kept you coming back to that mismatched group of nerds was the underbelly of Cinema Club, comprised of all the horror fanatics and true crime junkies of Woodsboro, who came to get together and discuss some of their favorite aspects of the genre. 

In a town so famous for its own serial killer, there was little open discussion about any aspect, which had never sat right with you.

After all, everyone on planet Earth had seen at least one of the “Stab” films, and still, most of Woodsboro’s residents actively chose to live in a delusion. 

That was what made Cinema Club so compelling, and its president along with it. 

Charlie Walker, or the King of the Freaks as you’d taken to calling him in the comfort of your own mind, was a huge film buff and one of the only people whose love of horror seemed to rival your own. 

He was clever and had a lot of interesting theories about a lot of different things, the Stab franchise and the events that inspired it chief among them. In fact, in the years you’d been attending his club, you’d 

spent several evenings heatedly debating over which slasher was the best or which classic horror trope you’d choose given the option. 

In a lot of ways, he was one of the only people you felt seen by in that way, and eventually, you formed quite an attachment to the man, even if you’d never acted on it. 

Maybe that was why you’d called him. 

It had really come out of left field, and you had never reached out to him before in your life outside of occasionally asking him about a point of contention within the horror community or to get his opinion on something.

You couldn’t even say that you were friends, but that didn’t change the fact that when you got the news that someone wearing a Ghostface mask was running around cutting people up, your first thought had been of Charlie.

It was only natural. 

You were going to be home all night long by yourself, and while that was normally your idea of a fantastic night, it seemed foolish to be alone like a sitting duck all night, hoping you wouldn’t run into a killer. 

After all, Ghostface was a legend around this town and you weren’t about to underestimate what someone could be capable of once they put on that mask.

It seemed right to be afraid, at first. 

Though, now that you were sitting in the dark waiting for Charlie to show up, you were starting to doubt yourself. Would he think you were a huge loser for bothering him over something so arbitrary? Was he doing something when you called? 

If he were, you figured he would have turned you down instead of telling you he’d be at your house in fifteen, but that didn’t mean he didn’t think you were lame. 

God, you were lame, weren’t you? 

You started to sigh, debating whether or not you should just call Charlie and tell him not to bother, but you didn’t get the chance before a loud banging on your front door nearly sent you flying out of your seat. 

Your first instinct was to grab a kitchen knife and take it with you, sort of like how Casey’s character had in the opening scene of the first stab, but you quickly abandoned that idea. 

It hadn’t helped her, and you were sure it wouldn’t prove any more useful for you now. 

“Charlie? Is that you?” you called out, letting your careful footsteps carry you toward the door, without bothering to turn on a light. If it wasn’t him, you didn’t need whoever was out there knowing exactly where you were. 

Briefly, you felt a flash of heat wash over you at how embarrassing this would be if it was Charlie at the door, only to once again have that ice prick at your spine at the even worse possibility that he hadn’t left his house yet. 

What would you do if this was the killer at your door? If you opened it and found that haunting face staring back at you in the pitch dark?

You weren’t sure. 

“You alive in there, sweetheart? I brought popcorn”

All at once, relief flooded you as you took in the voice through the door. It was muffled, sure, but even if you weren’t entirely sure it was Charlie waiting for you, you were confident Ghostface didn’t use pet names like that on his victims. 

“Yeah, I’m good” you assured, pulling open the door to find none other than Charlie Walker standing there, that brown mop of hair falling in his face as he turned to meet your face. 

You weren’t entirely sure what he’d been watching out by the street, but in all honesty, you didn’t even question it. You were so glad to not be alone, especially after that scare, you weren’t even sure you’d processed it, even if he told you.

Proven further when he grinned at you like you’d missed something important. 

“I said, can I come in? I don’t think it’s safe to spend all night in the open doorway” Charlie hummed, making it clear that he was teasing you, which you nearly bristled at. Perhaps, if he’d been anyone else, you would have. 

That was the thing about Charlie though, even when he was poking fun at you, it never felt mean-spirited or cruel, and you appreciated that. 

You had always been a little hard to get to know, and even harder to get along with, but he didn’t even bat an eye at your slightly more reserved nature or casual obsession with grisly crimes and imagery. 

He never made you feel bad, or less than you were. 

“Sure. Come on in,” you suggested finally, taking a brief beat to collect yourself from the very hectic last 2 minutes. 

“Sorry, I feel like this is super weird. I just didn’t want to be alone tonight” you tried, hoping that sounded less pathetic out loud than it did when it reached your ears. 

It would be a lie to say that you’d never thought about having Charlie over, but never had it been under these circumstances, and never had it been this awkward. 

He must have thought you were a freak. 

“No worries. I was just going to spend it with Robbie and trust me, you’re much better company” he assured, watching casually as you closed and latched your front door and turned back to him, visibly relieved. 

He was telling you the truth. 

Given the choice, he would most certainly like to spend time with a pretty girl over the same guy he’d been attached to since grade school. After all, you’d made it clear when you called that you didn’t want to be alone. 

,,,and that you needed someone to look after you. 

Charlie was more than happy to be that someone, and he could protect you if he had to, especially from Ghostface.

“I don’t know about that. Robbie seems like a pretty good time” you countered, trying to joke back with him without it being weird, though he didn’t bother to respond to that. Instead, he followed you into your living room and helped himself to your couch. 

When you’d invited him over, you hadn’t really considered what you’d do to pass the time, but given the pretense for how you knew one another, and the Jiffy pop Charlie had brought, it didn’t seem too far off to put in a movie. 

“I was thinking about watching Stab 2 before I called you,” you prompted, assuming that Charlie would either agree or disagree rather quickly after the suggestion. 

You knew the President of Cinema Club to be a lot of things, but soft-spoken had never been one of them. 

“Sounds good to me”  

This room was one you’d set foot in at least once every day for most of your life, but it wasn’t the warm, inviting space it normally was, at least not with Charlie present. Under his watchful eye, you almost felt as if the air itself was popping with energy.

However, when you once again peeked at him and took in his composure, you realized that nervous energy was actually just buzzing under your skin. 

“The kill in the opening scene of this one is one of my favorite of the franchise. I think the practical effects are so well done,” you hummed, relaxing only slightly as the welcoming score to Stab 2 filled your ears.

The title screen flashed in black and green, a few choppy chase scenes from the middle of the movie playing on repeat while the music blared, and you ate it up just like you did every time. 

It was probably one of your favorite movies of all time, and without even thinking, you sat down next to Charlie, though you kept distance both between your bodies and between you and the back of the couch. 

“The gore in the first movie was more experimental, but I think by this one, they were more confident and knew just how far they could take all the body horror” 

Charlie hummed again, listening to you as you talked with more enthusiasm than he’d ever seen from you during club meetings. 

You participated in discussions, of course, but it was always  more muted and careful. Like, you were constantly worried someone would think you took it too far or crossed some line you weren’t sure existed. 

It was nice to watch you drop all the pretence for once and just enjoy something that clearly meant a lot to the both of you. 

“But, did you know that guy actually burst an eardrum getting stabbed like that, even with a prop knife?” he spoke up, pointing out one of his own fun facts. 

You didn’t, but you could believe it. 

The force that had to go behind something like that, even when it wasn’t real, had to be super intense and you couldn’t imagine being on the receiving end of it, something you apparently said out loud, given Charlie’s face. 

“I don’t know. It might not be that bad, it would take forever though” he allowed, further shocking you as you processed both what he’d said and the fact that you’d accidentally just been way weirder than you’d meant to. 

You stopped, abandoning the movie fully now and turning to face where he’d been sitting, watching your reactions more than the movie itself. 

“What would take forever? Getting stabbed?” you questioned, only partially aware of what you may have asked him in your adrenaline-fueled haze. You couldn’t imagine it took too long from start to finish if you were being honest. 

Charlie scoffed, though it was more of a laugh than anything concrete or mocking, “No, bleeding out from a wound like that. It would take way longer than you’d think” he explained, with a casual shrug. 

You believed him. 

This wouldn’t be the first time he’d shared a strange or unexpected fact with you about something like that, and you certainly didn’t want to question him. Though, you did find yourself glancing toward the door and windows absently. 

When you two had discussed this before, it was always in a well-lit room full of people, but this was much more intimate…and ominous. 

After all, someone had just been stabbed to death yesterday in their home, and you didn’t like the idea of just how long it had taken them to bleed out. 

“Sorry. That’s in bad taste, huh?” Charlie tried, finding the joy he’d gotten from watching you excited coldly replaced with your discomfort, or fear, more likely. “Don’t worry, I got you” he assured, his gaze shifting from the side of your face to your hand.

You were holding the couch cushion lightly in your fist, almost as if it would keep you safe, and that just wouldn’t do. 

Not while he was right here, waiting to comfort you. 

“Nobody’s gonna get you” His words were soft, near a whisper as he focused on gathering his courage and finally made his move, reaching out to take your hand in his own. 

The action made you shift, and rather than falling off the edge of the couch onto the floor, you leaned back, closer to where Charlie was already situated. 

“I just can’t imagine what that’s like” you allowed, steeling your own nerves and meeting his eyes, which subsequently sent a kaleidoscope of butterflies into your gut. 

The topic was grim, and you both knew that, but for such a nasty conversation, you were feeling anything but disturbed. It would have been hard to be, with him looking at you like that, his thumb stroking your wrist gently. 

“You are never going to find out. I can promise you that” Charlie spoke again, more earnest now than you ever could have predicted.

It wasn’t something he could promise, you knew that, but that didn’t make it any less reassuring. 

“Charlie?” 

He hummed, never breaking eye contact with you, not even shifting even as you blinked away, your gaze flicking momentarily to the third death scene playing out on screen.

“This seems like a pretty good time to mention that I have a little bit of a crush on you” you mentally cursed yourself for how small you sounded, but not for long before you had to confront the feeling of Charlie’s mouth against your own in a bruising kiss. 

He had been waiting with bated breath to see which one of you would get the chance to confess first, and while he didn’t think it would be you, he couldn’t be happier regardless. 

The kiss lasted for quite some time, with Charlie only pulling away just long enough to fully close the gap you’d been keeping between your bodies this entire time.

“I’m so glad you called me” he whispered, one of his hands coming to rest on your jaw to keep you close while the other played gently at your fingers. 

You heard yourself let out a dreamy sort of sigh in reply, but you were far too caught up in what you were feeling to really process it. So, rather than dwell on it, you just nodded softly, “I’m so glad you came” 

“I’ll always be here when you need me, sweetheart. Don’t worry about a thing” he cooed, saying each word with the depth and sincerity as a vow, and the intensity that only Charlie Walker could pooling in those blue eyes. 

..and the thing was, you believed every word.

Even on this couch, in the dead of night, in the heart of Woodsboro, you felt completely at ease because who could really get to you when someone looked at you like that? 

Nobody hiding behind a mask, that was for sure. 

[stubz]

Just finished watching Chaos Theory and will be ranting about the things I loved about it so spoilers ahead

I loved the interactions between each of the characters, each one got a moment with Brooklynn that seemed to fit them very well.

I love the freckles bangs lady. I genuinely love her. I love her design; it's creepy but I have to admit she reminds me of a Victorian painting or something. I love the call back to Jurassic World Dominion where the lady there with raptors showed how well raptors, animals, respond to love rather than tasers and beatings.

They love her and she loves them

Kenji revealing that he knows Japanese is great because it was probably an act of rebellion that he started to try and make his dad stay home more.

I like how they went darker, the blood splatter from Brooklynn, the dozens of deaths, and the actual real life consequences from the attack on Brooklynn. She lost an arm...was not expecting they go through with that

They act like young adults for the most part, like how I did/do, which I very much enjoy.

Sammy and Ben co-parenting Bumpy is something I need more of.

Freckle-Bangs smiling when she realizes that the gang is there was delightful and terrifying. that is the look of someone who is de-flipping-lighted because life just threw her an opportunity to get an annoying job done right freaking now. Honestly I've had that look before when realizing that I get free food at work after forgetting to eat before leaving

Animation was fantastic!

[fluentmoviequoter]

Not an official ask I guess??? More of a "this video is cute and thought it'd be funny of it was Tim or Deac and if you wanted to write something that would be cool" kind of sharing thing 😂😂

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7zvMYKvsOf/?igsh=aXRqa2s3dmVtbWNk

Edit* I just saw the video of Noah and Lori where he says "not to invalidate your feelings.." and I freaking love them 😂

The video is so cute! I can't pick between Tim and Deacon, it's physically impossible, so have two tiny blurbs! (I should've remembered who it was but when I shared that line their names just evaporated from my mind. "Not to invalidate your feelings but you look fantastic" is still the best thing I've seen/heard in a while.) Thanks for sharing and being the awesome person you are!🫶🏼

Blurbs for Deacon Kay and Tim Bradford below!! 0.9k+ words, fluff.

Deacon Kay

“Hmm,” you hum, glancing over the top of your book at Deacon.

He looks up quickly, just as you expected he would.

“Hmm?” he repeats. “What’s that for?”

You drop your gaze and murmur, “Hmm” again.

“What’s that hmm?” Deacon inquires, a smile growing as he lays his hand on your lower leg. “Do it again?”

You make the same noise but press your lips together to hide your amusement. Deacon is great, you love him more than anything else in the world, but you sometimes forget how funny he can be. After being away from him for nearly a week while he worked on a case, you’re glad to be beside him again.

“What are your thoughts right now? Let’s see.” Deacon licks his lips as he looks at you. “The sun’s out, you’ve got a book to read, I’m finally home. What’s missing?”

When his smile reappears, you raise your brows. He can read you easier than you can read the book in your lap. Your noise wasn’t meant to become a quiz, but Deacon seems to be enjoying the charade of figuring you out, and you enjoy anything that involves being near Deacon.

“Let me hear it one more time, sweetheart,” he asks, rubbing his thumb across your calf.

“Hmm.”

“Hmm,” Deacon imitates. “From years of loving you, what I’m hearing is that you want a snack. You’ve been reading too long and now you need a treat break. Is that maybe what’s making you hmm?”

“Well,” you begin. “I’ve got a book and a handsome man beside me.”

“Right. What am I even doing here?” Deacon hooks his hands around your ankles and pulls you closer as he says, “Let’s go.”

You laugh at his attention and choice of transportation. As you sit up after his comfortable manhandling, you lean toward him.

“You know me too well,” you say.

“It’s my job,” Deacon replies. “Got the job title to prove it. And the award for best husband of the… ever.” He raises his left hand and points to his ring to reiterate his point.

“Hmm,” you hum in reply to his joke.

“Oh, no, not again. We’ll get you a snack and then you can sing my praises, all right?”

You prepare to hum again, but Deacon pulls your legs over his and stands, lifting in a bridal carry. He walks toward the kitchen, and you laugh in his arms. Humming was the best unconscious decision you’ve made since you first made eye contact with Deacon.

“I missed you,” you say as you wrap your arm over his shoulders.

Deacon hums, and you laugh in his arms before you ask, “What’s that hmm?”

Tim Bradford

Tim isn’t always the most attentive guy in the world. You get it, you understand that he’s got a lot on his mind at all times, and sometimes he just needs to tune things out and relax. Because he disappears into his own mind often, especially in his own house, you’ve grown comfortable making noise and talking to yourself under your breath. He usually doesn’t notice or acknowledge you, and if he does, he just passes you whatever you need. His sixth sense about your needs and wants was unsettling at first, but now you see it as a tangible example that Tim cares. However odd his way of showing it may be.

Tim’s arm is wrapped comfortingly around your shoulders as he sits beside you. Leaning against his side, you’re in your little world as you browse recipes on your phone. Tim has been busy at work, and you want to make him a home-cooked meal tonight.

You hum hopefully as you click a link to open a potential winner. Tim’s hand loosens on your arm, then tightens again. Your second hum, when you see another recipe link on the website, gets a different response.

“Do you need something?” Tim asks.

You hum, more of a negative mm than a real sound. Tim imitates your sound and shakes his head.

“Low tones and short, that’s not good,” Tim responds. “Can I hear the first one again?”

You turn your head toward his shoulder and draw your brows together as you look at him.

“The first noise you made. Do it again.”

You comply, though you’re unsure about why Tim is asking you to repeat your reactive noises.

“Interesting, interesting. I’m hearing some excitement, right?” Tim taps your shoulder as he thinks. “If all of my experience as a husband has taught me-“

“To Isabel?”

“Shh,” Tim interrupts. “In my experience as your husband, I’ve learned that your little hmm like that, with the extra high note at the end, is excitement. What’d you find?”

“You,” you flirt with a smile.

“Cute,” Tim murmurs. He kisses your forehead and then asks, “Did Lucy send you another video of animals hugging other animals?”

“No, I found something I want to make you.”

Tim moves his arm away from you quickly. “Then go!”

You laugh but stand anyway. Tim grabs your hand and pulls you back down beside him. He hovers above you, and you’re prepared for a kiss when he speaks again.

“Can I help?” he asks.

“Mmhmm,” you answer.

Tim rolls his eyes and kisses you. When you hum into the kiss, he does exactly what you want and turns so that you’re flush against his chest. His heart beats in time with yours, and there are no more jokes about your humming. Until you start cooking together, at least.

[gachagon]

I don't think Kaiser and Ness would be good together

Which is why i think about their relationship constantly despite that, i love these freaky little soccer dudes and their obsessive codependency

If there's one ship in bllk that I absolutely adore the content for and think about constantly besides Kunigiri, it's Kainess. And it's not because I think "Oh they'd be such a wonderful couple" or "They look good together", this is one of those ships where if they ever got together I feel like they'd actively make each other worse because they have so much internal stuff to work on alone first, you know? And just thinking about that potential train wreck of a relationship is enough to keep me entertained for weeks on end.

I've said before that Kaiser and Ness are a Bachira and Isagi parallel in that they show the toxic bad sides of a codependent relationship, but I think there's more to it than that. Like Kaiser and Ness are reliant on each other for both ego and attention, but they're also both deeply lonely people at the end of the day. Even in the scenes where it's just the two of them, they never let up the act of trying to surpass everyone and be at the top.

They have no silly banter or back and forth, even in this panel Ness looks more like Kaiser's personal servant than his friend or partner.

Where as everyone else in the Blue Lock compound has some healthy way of destressing after a match, these two weirdos (affectionate) sit in dark rooms and watch the same matches over and over again while plotting like saturday morning cartoon villains on what to do next game. I mean, even Itoshi Rin has a destress activity he does that's NOT soccer related that helps him not morph into some soccer obsessed monolouging freak, so to see these guys just constantly always planning and thinking and practicing it really puts into perspective how much of the time that they spend together is them not having a fun time casually. And if you compare what they do on their down time with what the other "partners" in Blue Lock do, this difference becomes even more apparent.

And I don't know, I find that to be a really interesting aspect of their relationship just because even though they are so clearly missing all of the key elements meant to make a healthy partnership, it still works on the field anyways because they're both equally obsessed with the same thing. Kaiser loves football and wants to be the best. Ness want's to see Kaiser become the best because he loves football. Their devotion to the game drives them closer to one another, but it's clear only one side holds any real "affection" for the other directly outside of the game.

Now, I do NOT think Kaiser hates Ness which I think people assume if you say "Kaiser doesn't hold a lot of empathy for Ness, or cares for him" that it translates to "Kaiser hates him".

I think Kaiser keeps Ness around because deep down he knows that at the end of the day the only person who would be willing to follow him even if he couldn't become the worlds best is Ness. And I think that's because Ness loves soccer in a different way than Kaiser does. To Ness, soccer is a really magical sport and one where amazing things can happen. And Kaiser is the only character who has done the most insane feats in the manga so far. Kaiser does things on the field that seem impossible until he pulls it off, which is the whole crux of his ego anyways: Making the impossible, Possible.

So as long as Kaiser plays that way and does all of the amazing things he's been doing, Ness would follow him literally anywhere because that's what drives him.

But Kaiser is different, it's clear that to him soccer/football is not something that is grounded in the fantastical, but something that's tangible and real to him. He takes it seriously even if he goes about it in the most dramatic and campy way possible. Looking at old chapters of Blue Lock when Kaiser was first introduced is so interesting to me because I forgot about Kaiser's whole "king" attitude where he pretty much talks and acts like some nobleman with a crown and scepter.

He even makes Ness "bow" to others or makes Ness physically lower than him like a king does with some peasant. You could chalk it up to him making Ness "apologize" in the Japanese way by also bowing, but I don't think that's why he does it just because his entire character is just so "king" coded.

It's worth noting that he also makes Ness "bow" whenever Ness seems to lose any kind of faith in them winning. Which is why I don't think the above two times was him making Ness apologize, but that its something he does to ground himself or make Ness fall more in line with how he's thinking at the moment. Notice how he seems to only do it when Ness isn't sticking to the right "script" or seems to show the wrong reaction openly etc.

But anyways, Kaiser and Ness love soccer but they don't love it for the same reasons and that is what ultimately conflicts with their relationship in the end. That, and they've both got their own issues to work out.

I feel like if they did ever get together, it just wouldn't work because in order for it to work, Kaiser has to first realize that he can still be an amazing player and have people regard him as the best without obsessing over where he sits in the rankings. That he can perform things nobody else can and never will and that is the thing that will separate him from the rest of the crop, not a trophy saying "Number 1" on it.

Maybe before when they first met things could've worked out well, but even still I think Kaiser was dead set on his goals of becoming number 1 long before he ever met Ness. We will definitely get to see the extent of that next week for sure I hope, when we learn more about Kaiser's past.

[anna6anana]

I was always more into villains

How the two of you met was the most Cliché in the book but you would not have changed it for the world.

a freak gust of wind had taken your umbrella while you were coming out of the 7/11, and after the day you had had with a client that wasn’t happy with almost anything you had suggested for her living room, you slumped down on the sidewalk.

You were wet, hangry and on the verge of tears before the rain was cut out by someone. Making you look up at the kind stranger that had suddenly appeared beside you.

You had to admit, he looked cute in his shaggy hair and trench coat, maybe a little awkward having to suddenly comfort a crying girl on his way home, but still. Something made your heart do a little flip flop when he offered to walk you to your apartment so you would not get a cold because of the rain.

It might also had been that were weak for guys with strong nose. Yeah, weird but in your opinion, it made a person have character. Just like a piece of furniture in a room that in a way should not have fit in the theme or tone wise. But was so unique in its looks it just…fit.

So, with a small smile you said yes and after meeting him at least twice a week in your search of dinner.

(You knew how to cook it was just easier to go get something since the hectic work week and usually on your free days you committed on trying to cook something new. varying results. but usually the result was eatable.)

He asked if you had a favourite animal.

“Buy me coffee first and I might tell you.” You joked, and busted out laughing when he appeared behind your door with a latte and spend the afternoon talking about Panda’s and cat’s before he thanked you for the company and asked if you wanted to go to the zoo next time?

“Sure, I haven’t been in a while.” you said and a week later you were happily watching animals with him, lifting his arm on your waist when he looked so lost what to do on a date.

two dates after that he gave you a peck on the cheek.

two months later he was taken off guard when going for your cheek, you turned your head and got his lips brushing yours. His blush was so adorable.

Yet something kept bugging you. The dates and all the usual stuff couples do seem so Alien to him, like he was from a completely different world.

and a week from that you got your answer.

You blinked, not sure if you were trying to wake up from a weird dream or trying to convince your brain what you were seeing.

There he was, your boyfriend in a cape with a weird tail, slicked back hair and… was that a tattoo?

Shaking your head to get your mind out of the gutter you opened and closed your mouth a couple of times, trying to ask what was going on but none of the questions was spoken before you heard someone yell something about dark lord and running away.

Before you snapped a hold of his hand and quickly led him behind your neighbour’s garden wall just as red and blue ranger ran past you both. None the wiser.

After your pulse had gone down, you snapped your angry eyes to him. Making him a little nervous, yet oddly impressed of your face.

You would make a fantastic second in command with that gaze.

“Explain. now!” You snapped and after few seconds of silence he sighed deeply and told you everything.

“So…Am I on that destruction list since I’m human?” you finally asked, and he said you were an exception along the pandas and cats.

After some more silence you looked up before smiling at him that cheeky smile he had come to adore.

“O well, I was always more into villains anyway.” You chuckled.

the next thing you knew, you were swept into a muscular arm’s and kissed so deeply it stole your breath away.

“Marry me?” He got out after he finally let your lips go. And without any further words, you bit your lip and pulled him back into a kiss with a sighed ‘yes ‘

He took a long lunch that day.