#the y/n is a personal deal breaker for me

[3pirouette]

My JoelxReader TLOU story is now 115K, 75% of it takes place over about 4 months, and the entire story is supposed to span a YEAR.

It’ll get posted. I just need to decide when I’m going to start that… when I have a good enough head start or once the whole thing is finished.

This story might kill me, but I love it.

God, I hope other people love it, too.

[anastasiabowe]

𝙍𝙄𝘾𝙃 𝙂𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙇𝙀𝙈𝘼𝙉 — As a broke college student, it’s not wrong to want a rich husband! That doesn’t mean you’re a gold digger, or will stoop so low you will ruin your worth, it just means you want a man who will take care of you, and guess what? You found him.

note: this will be a 3 part series! First one I’ve ever made and may be my last! So please not too much on these writings! Luv you!

𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏 𝙄 𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏 𝙄𝙄 𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏 𝙄𝙄𝙄

Content Warnings: Language..? Nothing other than that!

Nanami stared at his reflection.

“Nanami, get it together. It’s just a date, you’ve done them plenty of times.”

Nanami repeated that to himself and each time he got more nervous. His hands were now sticky with sweat, and his stomach began to hurt from the nerves. Nanami has never been this nervous, not even for business meetings that can determine his companies status or funds.

Nanami’s phone chimed a little song as his alarm went off. It was 5:15 and he needed to leave for his date.

He went to his sink and washed the sweat from his hands. He grabbed his car keys and headed to his garage.

Once he got in his car and started driving, he didn’t want to do this date anymore. What if you found him ugly? I mean the photos he chose weren’t the best, but what if you were expecting younger, or handsomer?!

He pulled into Hermès’ parking lot, and he went to park in a spot as close to the restaurant in case of a quick exit he may have to make.

He sat in his car as the clock ticked. It was only 5:25, and his reservation wouldn’t be ready for another five minutes. He took a deep breath, and made his way into the luxurious restaurant. He signed in, and the Server brought him to his table. Nanami thanked him as the server said he would be right back and Nanami nodded. Just as he sat down his phone chimed and he picked it up.

He saw a message from Haibara.

H: “Hey dude, just wanted to wish you luck. Remember, don’t think too much and act like you. It’s not as complicated as you think! Alright, I gotta go, tell me all about the date after it, or tomorrow!

N: Thank you, I really appreciate it Haibara. I will tell you all about it tomorrow!

Nanami smiled, Haibara was too good for him. His phone chimed again and a message from you appeared on his screen.

Y: “Hey Kento! I might be running late, I missed my bus, so it might take me a few minutes! (Hopefully it’s not a deal breaker😅)

Nanami laughed to himself while also internally punching himself. Why didn’t he offer you a ride!? Oh he’s such an idiot! While Nanami cursed himself for mistakes he didn’t even make, the waiter looked at him in slight discomfort.

“Sir?” Nanami jerked his head towards the young man, startled by his sudden appearance.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” Nanami kindly apologized.

“Oh, it’s not problem, at all! I was just wondering if you were waiting for someone, if not, are you ready to order drinks?” The young man so kindly asked the clueless Nanami the 4th time about what his plans were at the restaurant.

“Yes, I am waiting for someone, you can come back in five minutes, sorry for the troubles.” Nanami felt like an absolute clown. He is recognizable. He bets the waiter felt bad for him, thinking he was stood up, so he lingered to keep him company.

“Alright, I will be back shortly!” The young gentleman walked away, and Nanami checked his phone to see another message from you.

Y:“Hi! I’m at the front, the woman won’t let me in unless the person who made the reservation comes and gets me..”

Nanami sighed, places like these makes him hate reservations. He walks towards the front, and he couldn’t help but fucking forget how to breathe.

He saw you standing in a deep green dress. It was so flattering on your body, Nanami had to bite his lip to hold back the groan he wanted to let out.

“Hello, I am Kento Nanami. This is my date, please let her in.” Nanami’s stern voice irritatingly informed the woman. She looked up at Nanami with slight fear, she was different from the other guy who let him in, so she must be new.

You awkwardly smiled at the woman and walked towards Nanami. Nanami stepped to the side to let you walk past, and he eyed the woman up and down.

Nanami followed you and soon lead you to the table, and he pulled out your seat to help you sit down. He cringed at himself for acting so out of character for you. He never once felt or done this for a date, and so this all feels so forced.

“Thank you.” Your soft, sweet, voice quietly giggled and thanked him as you scooted your chair in with the help of Nanami.

“No problem.” He grunted. The awkward tension between you two was thick, but praise to god above, the waiter came over to the table.

“Glad to see your date arrived Mr. Nanami.” The waiter smirked towards Nanami, Nanami not finding it very funny. You looked in between them both, it just have been an inside joke.

“Can I get you both started with drinks?”

You looked at Nanami, insinuating him to order first.

“Um, What’s your finest wine?”

“That would be the Romanée-Conti, sir.”

“Then I will have that.” Nanami cleared his throat. You smirked, and looked at the waiter.

“A water would be fine, thank you.” The waiter nodded.

“I will be right back with your drinks.” Nanami and you both nodded back.

“So you don’t drink wine?”

“I’m 20.” You smiled at him.

Nanami felt a spring burst in his ear. You were 20, how could he forget!

“I’m sorry, I knew that, I do not know what’s come over me!" He scoffed at himself.

"Oh, no worries at all!" You awkwardly laughed. You hoped he wasn't too upset for forgetting your age..

"I tried a few types of wine before when I went to Europe with my family a while ago, I didn't really like any of them." You smiled, hopefully that helped ease his nerves.

Nanami chuckled, trying to erase the embarrassment he felt for acting so childish. No one would be offended if someone forgets their age..! "Am I a fucking child?! Who would get mad if I forget their age!" Nanami thought to himself.

"Wine is not for everyone. Took me a while to find my niche." Nanami smiled, making eye contact. You looked down when you caught his eyes, and tried to hide the smile that was creeping on your face.

Nanami knew that look, and felt his heart warm. "So, tell me, Y/n," he cleared his throat. "What are you majoring in?"

You looked back up, surprised at his question. "Uh, I'm majoring in business!" You smirked, seeing a sparkle appear in his eyes. You knew he loved to talk about business, hence everything in his profile was about business.

"interesting. Are you planning on starting one?"

"yes! I mean, I'm not sure what I want to do with any businesses I might create, but they're somewhere on the line of some sort of marketing." Nanami couldn't find you any more perfect. Not only are you beautiful and smart, you both share the same interests!

"Wow, I mean, if you need any help starting a business, you can always ask me. I've helped over 300 people start a business and 98% of them were successful." Your heart beated at the thought of having your own business and maybe a partner to help you through it all.

"really? I couldn't ask you to do that."

"I would love to, my favorite thing is to help others succeed. That's the whole point of my company."

You softly smiled, honestly completely out of words.

"Just let me know. But, let's put that aside, I'm curious, why were you truly on Richify?"

You laughed, you knew he would ask, I mean it was a very valid question.

"I could ask the same for you, but to tell you the truth, I want a rich husband." You were utterly amazed by how honest you were being. You barely know Kento and here you are telling him your selfish desires.

He lifted both of his eyebrows in shock, but had a playful smirk dancing on his face.

"Oh, is that so?"

"I don't like dating around. For the few guys I've been with, after maybe the second date, they just weren't the one so I limited who I met with and who I talked to." You scratched your head, hoping he agreed.

Nanami thought about his words carefully.

"Exactly that. I don't get how people can just hop from person to person, I can't stand the thought of it." Nanami chuckled, you chuckling with him.

"yeah, but you seem like someone worth my time." This time those words actually came out of your mouth on their own. You slapped your hand over your mouth. Nanami chuckled, amused by your slight embarrassment.

"is that so?" Nanami puting more emphasis on 'that'.

"I don't know why I said that.." you shyly giggle. He only eyed you down, making you more nervous.

"don't worry, I think you're worth my time also." Nanami winked, you smiled, and started to ease up. The waiter came back with the wine and water.

"Here you..go." he carefully set the wine glasses down, alongside a pitcher of water and a bottle of wine.

"would you like me to pour you your wine, or would you prefer to have the bottle?"

"I'll take the bottle, thank you."

"alright, are you both ready to order?"

You and Nanami gave him your respective orders, and the rest of the night went really well!

As the night went on, you found out truly why nanami was on that app and what his true desires were. The desires of wanting his own family, a family that didn't worry about money, a family that loved each other. You couldn't help but think about how a man with such power and influence would want such a normal life. But, you also smiled thinking about how much you both wanted the same thing.

You both also talked about how it was for a girl so young to not find any guys, and a guy so old to not find any girls and how funny it was that you both met.

You both also started to talk about things more deeper, more personal. You both talked about the failed relationships and the dates you went on, what your likes and dislikes were, turn ons and turn offs, what you both found weird or normal, or even your favorite type of animal. Everything either of you said did nothing more than to help the person you were sitting across fall more deeply in love with you.

Nanami admired every single aspect of you. He adored how wide your smile would get just from his jokes and stories alone, how beautiful your hands were, which were littered with rings, as they smoothed down your dress, he admired how clean and beautiful you looked, no matter how much you covered your face with your hands, he found you beautiful. No matter how much you nervously hugged your body, he found you even more beautiful. You were simply too beautiful for him to handle.

And ever since that night, dinners turned into breakfast, and breakfasts turned into brunches, and brunchs turned into amusement parks, and amusement parks turned into sleep overs, and sleep overs turned into moving in.

+

+

"Nanami," you sighed as he pulled you softly onto his lap, legs spreading as he held your hips tightly. "You know I couldn't do that to you, my apartment is fine!"

He looked up at you, eyes soft as a knowingly smile danced on his face. He's asked you quite a few times to just move in with him, you've always been hesitant to the idea, not sure if that's what your ready for. You've never moved in with a boyfriend, let alone someone like Nanami.

"I know baby, but it would be so beneficial for us both. I mean, we can carpool to work since you took that internship at my job, we don't have to worry about meeting up when we are always together, I mean, hell, you wouldn't have to worry about rent." He softly said, as you continued to have your worries.

His house was so empty without you there all the time. I mean, he barely has anything in that mansion, and whenever you come over, you always shiver from how cold it was, except when you get to snuggle under the warm pink blankets you brought to his house to give it a little color instead of the plain white, black, and gray color scheme.

"Yeah, but that's a big step. I mean I have a lot of stuff and 2 pets!" You looked into his eyes as you emphasized your point.

"I love Milo and Princess." He simply said.

"I have a lot of clothes" He smirked as I said that as if that was a laughable point.

"I have a few walk in closets"

"I mean, God knows if my landlord will let me move out, I don't really know the terms and conditions of my lease."

"we'll figure it out." His voice never wavered nor changed in tone as he softly reassured you.

You didn't have any other points than that, I mean, what if it doesn't... You know..

"Wait, but what if-"

"Y/n please, I'm not trying to pressure you, but I think you moving in would be for the best. It gets so lonely when I don't have you next to me every waking moment. I need you here with me, I need you to help fill this empty house with things you love, we love." Nanami chuckled thinking about how the house would be a completely new home with your charm added to it. It would have a warmer and homier feel to it.

His hands began to softly rub up your sides and to your back. His would softly glide over your skin, making you melt into his touch. You nodded and relaxed as his words of how much he wanted, no needed you here made you feel. You did want to live with him. You wanted to wake up and breathe his fresh smell, listen to his deep soothing voice hum any song, and feel him everywhere you go.

You wanted to say 'Yes nanami! I will move in with you!' but an underlying feeling of doubt still clouded your mind. You had to say something.

"Nanami, I want to live with you, I really do! But.." his hands stopped moving, and slowly settled back onto my hips.

"But? Is something wrong?" His face now wasn't as soft and playful, now more tense and worried.

"No, but.." I sighed, trying to look away from him. He softly grabbed my chin with his hand making me face him again, eyes staring up directly into yours.

"Tell me, I promise you, no problem can't be fixed."

"I'm sorry, I really didn't want to think this way, but.. What if we, you know, break up? I mean I can't afford to move out, and my family lives far and that would really su-"

"y/n." He stopped me before my head started spiraling. He knew how you thought. He knew how much you overthink simple things, and don't always see things positively.

He took a deep breath, unsure as to why you were thinking you both might separate.. were you..

Unhappy?

"Please tell me you aren't unhappy in our relationship." Nanami's eyes left your as he was now just searching your face for a confirmation.

"no! No of course not, I'm very happy, why would you think that?" Now it was your turn to grab his chin and make him face you.

"well, I mean, you're having doubts about us taking our relationship to the next level, and your scaring me with the thought you don't see us ending up in a happy successful relationship." His voice was so raw, so clear, he was genuinely nervous about how you truly felt.

You felt extremely terrible for even thinking so negatively. You knew your boyfriend hated when you thought negatively, always taking those thoughts as something you're actually feeling. And in this case, he was assuming you weren't happy in your relationship.

Nanami's eyebrows were extremely furrowed as he tried to process and read your facial expressions again for now, a sign of any lies in what you said.

Your face softened as you placed both of your hands on the sides of his face. Your thumbs came to his brows as you softly stroked them to help them go back to his they were as you spoke to him.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I promise I didn't mean to insinuate that. It's just, I've never moved in with a boyfriend of mine, and I usually like to prepare for the worst." Your voice was quiet as you felt his eyebrows' tension slowly release and his arms wrapped around your waist tightly. Nanami laid his cheek on your chest, and let out a huge breath in relief.

"Just.." nanami chuckled. "Just let me know what you decide on. I'm not going anywhere, so take as much time as you need." You smiled, and stroked his hair. You just hummed in response, and you both continued to peacefully dwell in each other's arms.

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You-Part 11

Warnings: Triggering memories of the miscarriage, Some is grabbing, shoving, graphic violent thoughts, Cursing, Bin Loses It, threats, Bin hurts himself unintentionally oh yeah and Han loses it too

Pairing: BangChan x Reader?

Characters: Bin, Soo 😒, Han, Stray Kids, Chan is mentioned quite a bit.

A/N: Happy Birthday @galamxy and I am so sorry to everyone in advanced. This one is gonna hurt, but... BUT I am letting you know ahead of time

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Previously: “He won’t… too much respect… I however,” I stated very matter-of-factly, “Have a very hard line, Soo. I don’t touch women in any violent way ever… But if anyone messes with my family and with whe people I love? All of a sudden gender is irrelevant… So the next time you speak, I recommend you speak with that in mind.” I saw the blood drain from her face, I felt a new level of base in my voice. The anger is starting to reach a level I can’t control.   Minho added on with “Usually I’d have too much respect. That was before what you said about Y/N.  About her losing the baby being a good thing. That it’d make the divorce less messy…” My eyes went wide as my heart dropped on the floor, shattered. When did this happen? How did this happen? I looked away from Soo for the first time, “I don’t think I heard you correctly… She said WHAT?” 

Now:

I can’t believe that this came out of her mouth. Given I never would’ve expected this type of behavior from her either but here we are. I looked at Minho’s face and I could tell he wasn’t lying. I looked at Hannie who was sitting on my opposite side and his face said the same. 

If I wasn’t sitting I would have probably collapsed. I went from a relaxed position to leaning forward, cracking my neck as I tried to contain my rage. I wiped my hands down my face, Changbin, calm down, I told myself. I went back to what Seungmin told me, “You promised her you were coming back.”  

I heard Hannie say… “Wait.”

When I looked at him, his mouth was open in utter disbelief, “You knew…” he said to Soo… When I looked back at Soo all I saw was a smile creeping onto her face, “You knew they were trying to conceive?! When Chan told you, there was no gasp of shock, no condolences… even now…  You’re smiling because you knew…”

Soo smiled saying, “How do you think Chris and I started talking in the first place? It was clear she was broken, now the outside matches the inside. Maybe this will be a warning for you.” She looked at me, “She’s damaged goods, don’t you want to know what it’s like to be a dad?” How dare she. I looked at Han as he stared daggers at her. Hannie is not known for becoming angry, but he looks enraged at what Soo just said. I looked back to Soo.

I looked into her eyes as I wondered what she meant by that. ‘She’s damaged goods, don’t you want to know what it’s like to be a dad?’ I’ve never been good at hiding my fondness for Angel, that’s for sure, but I don’t know where she’s getting at. Angel has only had eyes for Chan, her person… hurt my person.

 I don’t know why she would throw something like her fertility at me like it’s some deal breaker. It isn’t. I could live in a shack with nothing except Y/N and I would be the richest man on the planet. Children would be nice, but if it meant giving her up, I don’t need kids, I need her. This is all hypothetical of course.

I was sure she could feel the tension shift as I could feel my face contort from the rage, “So not only are you so fucking desperate that you’ll cheat with your best friend’s husband. Not only will you cheat knowing they were trying to conceive, but when they finally do conceive, after TWO YEARS you say that it was a good thing that child died because it would make the divorce less messy?!” I've never felt this level of rage. It was almost accusatory the way she threw Y/N’s fertility. Like because she didn’t get pregnant, that’s why they cheated. 

I am feeling so many levels of disdain, hurt, and disbelief. How could anyone say that about anyone else? It is unfathomable to me how someone could hurt someone else like this. How someone could think that let alone voice it. That takes it to a different level of disgust for me. 

Han sighed as he said, “And you sit there, almost blaming Y/N for your sins? For Chris’ sins? You don’t know anything about what she’s been through. Constantly waiting for Chris, him making her feel like an afterthought,” Han added on, “telling her he has no time for her, that he has more important things to do. One of us,” He pointed to himself and me, “One of us slept in the same bed as her every night because she’d cry to sleep on her own. You know what? We’d do it again. All of it. Because she is worth that and more.” I could feel Han vibrating with emotion. I can tell I’m not the only one that is feeling this. 

I tacked on, “Meanwhile he’s cheating with you,” I scoffed, “Talk about trading in a diamond for a piece of glass. You are the lowest of the low. She isn’t broken. You two are!” I took a breath, “I don’t know what to do with what you’ve done. I’m hurt and angry, and I’m not even the one who was cheated on!” I barked at her.  

The images of me doing things I didn’t want to do started flashing in my head. She isn’t a woman anymore, hell, she isn’t even a person. I could see myself grabbing it by the throat, picking it up, throwing it across the room, and punching, and screaming while I did it. Using its face as a punching bag. I can’t… As much as I want to, I can't.  A sinister, yet just voice playing right next to Seungmin's in my mind, It’s right there in front of you. You’re in pain, agony even… Take it out on one of the people that caused it. No one would blame you. Meanwhile, Seungmin’s voice is still playing, “Don’t make her lose you too.” 

I almost lunged out of my chair before I caught myself. Instead of getting up and doing what I wanted, I screamed, “HOW?! How did she find any humanity in you!? A child died, an innocent child who did nothing wrong…died. Gone, will never have the chance to breathe. Somehow, you view it as a good thing?! THEN YOU COME HERE!!” I could feel every cell in my body burning, trying to just reach across and… “ YOU COME HERE, TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU’RE HER FRIEND?!”

I looked at her as I grabbed her shirt, I got up dragging her to her feet along with me, “You want to know what I’m thinking right now?” I smiled at her. This felt good. Seeing her realize just how much danger she is in. She thought I wouldn’t move. Like I said before, I don’t discriminate when it comes to protecting my own.

I could see the tears start to form in her eyes as I vaguely heard Han, “Hyung? Bin!”

“I am thinking about how easy it would be to turn your face into a fucking suggestion, make the outside match the inside. Disgusting, putrid, worthless, bloody… Han and Minho are strong, but not strong enough or fast enough to stop me from crushing your windpipe with one hand.” I grabbed the back of her neck, squeezing enough to make it known. 

She yelped as I continued, “It wouldn’t be hard for me. I lift twice your weight for fun.” I laughed, “No one’s here to save you. Especially not your shitty boyfriend… He’s nursing a broken nose at home…”

I felt her body tense, “I don’t want to stop at a broken nose for you…” I chuckled. “I want to send a message so badly. I want to put you in the ICU,” I seethed just inches from her face.“I was happy you stood away but now you DARE walk into here. Demanding to see her, after you say something so vile, so…”  

I could feel Han trying to loosen my grip, I was barely registering anything except her deer-in-the-headlights stare, “Now that you tried to come here when I wasn’t here, trying to capitalize,” I saw that same smirk playing at her lip. “I was going to let you go if I ever saw you again… Now..” I could feel my chest heaving as I said, “Now I want to make it clear to YOU and CHRIS… you come near her… I’ll kill you… I meant it when I said it to him, looks like he needs a reminder. You’ll have to pay for both sins.” She started yelping as I screamed, “SHUT YOUR MOUTH. You have no RIGHT, no SHAME…” I don’t recognize my voice, it’s so heavy, leering… They turned you into this. Show them. 

I heard Minho, “Changbin-ah I know…I want to hurt her too, I want it so badly but we can’t… We aren’t them, Bin.” I shrugged him off as I dragged her to the nearest wall and shoved her against it.

I threw my fist at the wall right next to her head. I felt it vibrate with the hit, “You have no idea what I want to do to you right now. It is taking everything in me not to destroy you.”  She was whimpering as she cried, trying to look away from me. “The pain that I want to put you through is nothing compared to what Y/N is going through. Look at you, a coward that can’t even look me in the eye. She is more than you could ever be.” 

I could feel myself wanting to pick my fist back up and land it on her face so badly. I have never wanted to hurt anyone, until now. The disrespect, the pain, and the absolute lack of empathy make me want to tear her apart. I have been holding in so much pain and agony for so long that I feel like I’m going crazy. I need someone to take it out on. Who better than one of the people who stabbed Y/N in the back? Who else is more deserving than one of the people who killed her child? This makes sense, call it karmic justice. Even breathing just thinking about it feels better. 

I can vaguely hear Hannie… Not like I really can hear much of anything aside from Soo’s pathetic whimpers. For someone so brazen to be this cowering mess, all for seeing me like this. I felt my features soften at that as I smirked at her, even chuckling slightly at the fact that for some reason she decided coming down here was a good idea. If anything this is Darwinism at work, right? A part of me thinks so, at the very least.

If I were to fully embrace this… the impending feeling I knew would cause goosebumps at the relief. Seungmin’s in my head again, “Y/N deserves everything we got.” This mental tug of war makes me feel like I am being torn in half, I just want to cause pain. I want Soo to hurt. I made my decision, Get your relief… It’s not a person…

As I went to shift my weight, I heard “Binnie?”.... Y/N?

I could hear her coming from a phone. That once melodic voice quaking. She was reaching for me. Begging me by only saying my name. My whole body froze, and my vision stopped narrowing, hearing her. “Binnie? Hannie, where's Binnie?” I heard her say again. She sounds so scared. I could tell she had been crying, she needed me. I can’t do this to her. 

I saw Han come into my peripheral, his phone in his hand.

“He’s right here Anya... Binnie’s right here.” Hannie’s voice is so stiff, he’s never afraid of me. I hate it when people are afraid of me. When my eyes flicked to Han I could see the fear. He put his hand on my arm that I was holding Soo’s shirt with. That touch helped me ground myself and see things from a different perspective.

“Why is Binnie not talking Hannie? Did I do something wrong?” I heard her, loud and clear as I tried to gain control of my body again. I wanted to scream,

“No, it’s not your fault, Angel. No, I am just… I’m hurting, Love. I’m hurting so fucking bad and I don’t know where to place it. I only ever went to Channie Hyung when I was in pain. I don’t know what to do knowing he was the one that caused it, Angel. He hurt you, I trusted him to take care of you, you’re my heart… When you cry, I cry; when you hurt, I hurt. You could never do something to warrant me not talking to you. You have never done anything wrong, I love you so much,” My mouth isn’t working as the memories flash. My chest wants to cave in.

“No nothing’s wrong, Anya. Binnie is just listening to your voice, is that okay?” Han asked so gently. How is he so gentle right now? The woman in front of me is one-half of the reason Y/N is here. She’s in my hands right now. The screams replay in my head as I look at Soo, If she knew she never would’ve come here, I’m lying to myself now as my grip tightens on her. 

“Yeah, is Binnie coming back? He promised he would,” I heard her ask. Of course, I’m coming back. She’s my home, how could I leave her? Especially like this. Soo isn’t worth it, and neither is Chan, but I want them to pay. I felt my hand throb against the wall. Feeling the texture as it stands against my fist take some of the haze away. Pleading to Y/N in my head, “I want them to pay, pleeease let me make them pay. Let me make sure they’ll stay away, Angel. I need to protect you, you’re the only part of me that matters.” “Hannie I want my Binnie I’m scared,” I heard her so clearly, I could even hear the sniffles that she would allow to escape every once in a while. I could feel myself at war with what I wanted and what was right. I want to kill Soo, but killing is wrong. So I was stuck there with the love of my life practically begging me to choose her over what I wanted to do. I was trying so hard to open my mouth and try to sound strong but I was three seconds from collapsing. I’m scared too, Angel. I’m terrified. I can’t lose you. I won’t survive it. I’m not me without you. 

“M’here Angel. I’ll..” my voice betrayed me. I cleared my throat, “I’ll be there in a minute. I’ll see you soon,” I felt tears brimming in my eyes as I looked at Soo. I could see the shock on her face, that has to be enough for me. 

At the end of it all, hurting Soo would do nothing. It won't get Y/N anywhere. The pain, the suffering, it's all still going to be there, only she'll have to face it all without me. I can't do that to her. It's not fair, what happened to her. I have to let Soo go, to protect my Angel. That is more than doable. 

Hannie hung up the phone and I looked at Soo as I said, “You aren’t worth any ounce of effort anyone puts towards you. You are a nerveless little leech that sucked the life and kindness out of someone I love very much. You tell Chris what you saw here today. You tell him every detail… Especially this… If you or Chris ever try to come near her uninvited… I will not be this kind again… Do you understand me?”

She nodded violently as I released my grasp on her shirt, instead shoving her by her shoulder to Han, almost knocking both of them down in the process as I said, “Han, get her out of here before I change my mind.” I faced the wall as I tried to breathe. I have never wanted to kill someone more than just now. I’m scared, relieved, and also guilty. 

Just the fact that I was so close to possibly losing Y/N again while I was gone, shot through me like lightning in that car. Now I’m here and the threat’s gone. The original one is. That was relieving, but now I am so guilty.

If Y/N saw me like this, she would’ve been disappointed. Is that the kind of man I am? 

As soon as I register the door closing my knees hit the concrete and I’m blinded by my tears. Who am I? Soo was so scared… and I liked it? I wanted more of it. I wanted her to feel the fear Y/N felt. The pain she feels. Y/N would never want that for anyone. I almost caused her more pain. For what? To satiate my own need? 

“What kind of man am I?” I asked no one in particular as I felt the rage ebbing into whispers, staring at my hands, one already developing bruises from how hard I punched the wall, the other aching from how tight my grip was on Soo’s shirt. An image flashed of when Y/N went limp in my arms, her screams louder than the last time. My shoulders shook with the sobs that left me then. 

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder as I heard Minho speaking softly, “You are the type of man that would do anything for the woman he loves. You’re the type that takes her pain as your own.”

I turned to Minho and said, “Hyung, I don’t know what to do. I can’t take it away.” my tears started running down my face. All I heard was Minho saying, ‘I got you’ and I let go collapsing on him. 

Minho said right into my ear, “You are a loving, caring person, Changbin. You trusted a person with your own heart and they destroyed it. It’s natural to want blood, Bin. You just proved to yourself that love is more important than revenge. You, Seo Changbin, are the type of man that is rarest of all.” I continued to cry as I held onto Minho, “You are unapologetically you. You live with your heart on your sleeve and you give without asking for anything.” “I can hear it all… Every time I hear her screams, I feel her go limp in my arms, I see the blood,” I gulped in the air, “I wa-want to make it better, Hyung. Why can’t I take it from her?” I asked.

I felt Minho quivering as he sniffled himself, “No one can, I’m sorry Changbin-ah.” I knew that answer. Logically I knew it. “But what you can do..” I looked at him, “You can show her, that loving a person is unconditional. It is as simple as breathing. You show her, that no matter what she can or can’t give you, you’ll be there. Not because you have to, but because you want to.”

I nodded as I tried to stop the tears with Minho saying periodically, “Take your time… Breathe, you’re okay. You’re good.” I was mumbling to myself how I couldn’t believe I thought what I thought and he responded with, “Don’t go there. I’m proud of you for stopping and thinking. That’s what matters.”I wasn’t sure how much time had passed as I heard Minho say, “Let me see your hand.”

I showed it to him. I could see the black and blue forming on my knuckles. When he asked me to make a fist, it was a little painful but not that bad. He smiled as he said “Good news, nothing looks broken… the bad news is there is no way you’re going to be able to hide it from Y/N. So what’s the plan Changbin, any ideas?” His eyebrows went up in question. 

“I’m not going to lie to her, Minho. I can’t.” I said plainly. She is already so fragile and lying wouldn’t help that. I also can’t tell her that I lost it and almost hurt Soo. Given, I was mad, but still. I don’t know. 

His eyebrows furrowed as he smirked, “You know sometimes you’re a little too chilverous.” I just grinned as he continued, “Alright I guess I’ll have to explain it… As far as I’m concerned you slammed your hand in the car door when you were trying to get back here. Sound good?” I nod. 

I heard Minho’s phone go off and I saw Lix’s face on the screen, “one guess” he giggles. He picked it up and put it on speaker.

“MinMin where’s my Binnie?” I heard Y/N loud and clear through the phone. She sounds a little better, I could hear the tease in it. “We were just wrapping up here Beautiful, everything okay?” He asked, smiling at me. 

“Yeah, just Inn-ah trying to eat the last brownie I’m saving for Binnie.” She giggled. My heart swelled. She was saving it for me? I haven’t had one of those in… almost a year now that I think about it.

I heard Inn-ah in the background, “Just a nibble, Y/N?” 

She giggled as she said, “Binnie hasn’t had one in a while Innie, and you live with the guy that makes them.” She laughed. She’s thinking about me? After all of this. She’s focused on me?? I think Minho could see the confusion as he looked at me.

I giggled as I said, “What about the bag of snacks we brought for the boys Seungmin?” I heard Seungmin’s voice loud and clear, “They picked it clean, vultures… I’m surprised the bag’s still there.” I heard Y/N laugh slightly louder. It melted me to my core as I laughed.

I heard Hyunjin say, “Says the one who had a whole pan of brownie to himself. I don’t mind eating clean but had I known I would’ve fought you for that pan, Seungmin.” I could see Hyunjin’s face in my head glaring at Seungmin. 

I laughed as I said, “OK Angel we are on our way. Sorry, it took so long.” I smirked at the phone, I couldn’t wait to see her. I always get this swell in my heart that spreads to all of me when I see her. 

“It’s okay. As long as you’re coming back that’s all I care about.” She giggled. Minho hung up and said, “What happened in this room, stays in this room.” I think he could tell that I was embarrassed about my breakdown. I’m used to being the person that people go to for support. I am rarely the one to need the support. This was Minho’s way of saying my breakdown stays with him. I patted him on the back, silently thanking him. 

When we walked out into the hallway I could see Hannie waiting by the door. Minho motioned for Hannie to come towards us. When he met us Minho whispered, “Follow my lead.” With that we walked back to the room together, Minho leading. When Minho went in he explained the hand injury away, “First thing’s first Beautiful. You’ll notice that Binnie’s hand is bruised, it was an accident, he’s fine and it’s not broken, okay?” He looked relieved as he motioned for me to come in.

When I came in I was met with a gentle smile from her. At that moment I realized something. Soo never told me why she was here. I know why she’s here. Chan was banking on me losing it, seeing her. He was banking on me getting myself arrested or at the very least kicked out so that I would be ripped away from Angel’s side. I smiled wider knowing that not only did I keep my cool, but this experience that he caused just made me want to stick closer to her. 

Every time it feels like the first time I see her. Always takes my breath away. Even in a hospital gown, chocolate remnants on her face. I smiled at her, “Hi, Angel, sorry it took a bit. You have something for me?” I asked as I went to sit in a chair. 

She looked at me with furrowed brows, “I want my Binnie cuddles,” She said as she reached out for me. How could I deny that? I saw Seungmin get up and walk to a chair, sitting down. 

I smiled at her as I nestled up to her in the hospital bed. She smiled as she handed me the last piece of brownie, “It’s the corner piece, your favorite.” 

She looked up at me and wiped a tear from my face, when did I start crying again? “Why are you crying, Binnie?” 

I answered honestly, “I’m so happy to see you giggling and seeing you save this for me. I’m just lucky to know you, let alone be a part of your life.” I dried a tear from her too as I smiled. 

She buried her face into my side as she giggled. That made everyone in the room break out in smiles. The rest of the night was passed in smiles and laughs until eventually, Y/N started yawning. I looked at her trying to fight the sleep until I guided her head to my chest again. She was sleeping before I could even notice. One by one, everyone was asleep except for me. Seeing everyone asleep. I permitted myself to pass out for the night too, and before I knew it, I was out like a light myself. 

_______________________________________________________

WANT MORE? Tell me So! Want in on the tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!

[doetic]

Closer - Edward Cullen x F!Reader (18+)

Plot: (Songfic for Closer by NIN) With a sexually repressed, religious guilt ridden boyfriend, Y/n has to take it upon herself to ensure her sexual needs are met. That is, until he catches her in the act. Warnings: Heavy NSFW, pretty much no plot, reader gets walked in on, Edward is dramatic and grappling with loads of religious guilt, loss of virginity, Edward bruises reader a bit. Word count: 2147

A/N: This is a rewrite of my first smut I had ever written that I posted on my old account @valwentinefics. You can find it here. Reminder that requests are open!

The sunlight filtered through the large windows that made up a majority of the walls in Edward's bedroom, casting a blue haze onto the walls as it filtered through the lush pine trees that surrounded the Cullen's property. Y/n's naked body was lit up by the soft rays as she laid on his couch, her left hand cupping her right breast while her right hand slid down to the slit between her thighs that grew wet with need. Most of the houses inhabitants, the powerful group of vampires known as the Cullen Clan, were out of town visiting friends, which left the beautiful house to Y/n and her boyfriend Edward Cullen, who was out hunting.

Y/n would be lying if she said she wouldn't have rathered it be Edward's hands grasping and rubbing her most needy spots, it was something she fantasized about often. But, Edward was, frankly, a sexually repressed virgin, and sex was far off the table with him. She knew it from the start, having been pulled aside by Edward's two adoptive younger brothers, Emmett and Jasper, who warned her about how much of a prude her boyfriend could be the day the two found out about their relationship. It wasn't a deal breaker though, Edward was an amazing boyfriend in every other regard, so Y/n was fine handling her urges on her own when given the chance.

Her eyes fluttered closed as a single finger poked into her entrance, soon followed by a second, causing a moan to slip through her lips which she had bitten to try to keep quiet out of habit.

Y/n curled her fingers inside of her slowly, hitting her sweet spot as she pumped them in and out. Her imagination took hold of her and she couldn't help but picture Edward above her, one strong hand holding her wrists above her head and his other propping him up as he thrusted in and out of her at a rhythmically quick pace. The thought was enough to elicit a second, louder, moan, this time in the form of his name.

"Y/n?" The familiar voice of her lover caused Y/n to freeze, her hands quickly ceasing their activities, quickly moving to cover her most intimate parts as she darted up into a sitting position, opening her eyes to see Edward quickly look away.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I didn't mean to call you, I just...got carried away," She trailed off, her face being taken over by such a strong flush that it was painful. Y/n wiped her hands with a tissue and quickly got dressed, Edward turning back to face her once her thoughts indicated she was fully clothed.

"Do you do that often?" Edward looked at her quizzically, his expression lacking the disgust Y/n thought he would have.

She looked away from his face at his question, her cheeks continuing their burning as even more blood rushed to them. "Only when I think you'll be gone long enough... Clearly I was wrong this time. I'm sorry..."

Edward gave no response to her apology, stepping closer to Y/n until he was right in front of her. Y/n turned her head to look back at him as he stared at her, deep in thought. As a vampire, Edward always had an air of dominance around him, making everything he did have a degree of intimidation to any observer. Y/n, however, knew him more intimately than a regular person, and she could tell from the look in his light amber eyes and slight furrow of his brow that he was nervous.

"Do you think of me often?" His pale hand slowly reached out to touch her hair, his thumb brushing along the side of her scalp with slow, controlled, hesitant movements.

"Always." Y/n replied, her eyes searching his face for any hint of what would happen next.

With a super speeded movement, Edward gently pushed Y/n down onto the couch, kneeling over her body. A hand moved Y/n's hair and shirt collar away from the crook of her neck, his face placing itself in the supple bend as he inhaled deeply. "You don't know what you do to me Y/n..."

Y/n stayed silent, the wetness between her thighs that she hadn't been able to fully take care of becoming even more unbearable as her arousal grew stronger from Edward's scent and proximity. A hand moved to the back of his head, her fingers softly playing with his hair.

"You make me feel things I know I shouldn't. Sinful things. You're so special, so beautiful, I shouldn't be thinking of violating such a precious gift from God. But still..." Edward moved his head out of Y/n's neck, his arms propping his body up and caging Y/n in underneath him. "I have an empty gash where my soul once was, my whole existence is flawed. But you, you're heavenly."

One of his hands trailed up the side of Y/n's body with a hesitant curiousity, sliding up underneath her shirt and pausing before her braless breast, his index finger and thumb framing the mound. Y/n held her breath as she looked up at her boyfriend who was staring down at his hand with a look of deep contemplation.

"The day I was turned into a monster was the day I was deprived of my access to heaven. I became the oh so feared devil. I tried all I could to redeem myself, to not stray from the path of God more than I already had, but the needs I have remind me I can never again get in his good graces. I'm a demon, and it's in my nature to want to desecrate the holy," He looked back up, his eyes softening when they met Y/n's.

She gave him a soft, encouraging, smile. Her hand moved to his and he let her guide it onto her breast, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I feel like Hades presenting Persephone with pomegranate seeds, damning her to the underworld. Except you don't have a godly mother to save you..." He said remorsefully as his hand toyed with Y/n's breast, the cold of his body mixed with his movements making her clench her thighs together with need.

"Maybe I don't need saving, maybe this is exactly where I want to be," Y/n challenged breathlessly.

Edward's eyes searched Y/n's for something as he sat in silence for a few moments, presumably searching her thoughts for any doubts, his hand on her breast never stopping it's kneading. "Are you certain? This is the forbidden fruit. Theres no going back."

"Edward, for you I'd damn myself to hell a hundred times over." She said with unwavering certainty, each word laced with anticipation.

His hand left her breast, moving to meet his other one at the bottom of her shirt, carefully holding the fabric within both hands. "I know I should reject this, I should tell you you're wrong and send you home, but I don't have the strength." His eyes bore into his hands, the amber hues swirling with deep contemplation.

"If you're that certain I suppose it's okay then, for me to indulge, to take your purity." His concerned eyes looked up to meet Y/n's, giving her ample time to form a protest, but she couldn't find any reason to form one. With no response, Edward's eyes hardened and fists clenched around her shirt's fabric, accepting the permission Y/n was giving him to let go, to indulge, to snap.

"Y/n L/n, I'm going to fuck you like an animal."

With those words he tore Y/n's shirt in half. Seemingly guided by sexual instincts alone, his hands instantly slid up her waist and to her breasts, bringing with it a cold that made Y/n's back arch. His lips met her collar bone, kissing and sucking up to her neck.

Y/n tossed her head back, letting out a cry of ecstasy, one hand grasping onto Edward's white button down in an attempt to keep him close, the other at the back of his head, gripping his hair in pleasure.

A hand trailed down from her breast to her skirt, fiddling with the zipper before ripping the fabric off her body like he had with her shirt with a growl. Y/n couldn't even bring herself to be upset with him for his destructive habits as he moved her panties to the side, revealing her soaked and glistening folds.

His thumb wet itself in her juices before moving to her sensitive clit, rubbing it quickly. His other hand also left it's spot on her breast, collecting her wrists in its grasp and pinning them down above her head to keep her still as she thrashed from the pleasure brought from his assault on her delicate bud.

Y/n's mouth produced a symphony of moans as he rubbed, and they grew even louder when he switched his attention from her clit and carefully slid a finger into her hole, and easy task with how wet she was. Still, he only kept one in for a few moments, curling it slowly before eventually adding a second, continuing his curling movement, ensuring she would be prepared for his cock.

"Edward, please! Stop teasing me like this! I can take you, I'm ready!" Y/n whined, every few words interrupted by loud, desperate moans.

"I'm sorry my angel, it's rude to keep a lady waiting" A devilishly handsome smirk made it to his face, his hesitancy and nervousness almost fully dissipated. Both of Edward's hands moved from their spots to completely undress himself with his super speed before he returned to his spot. One hand returned to pinning Y/n's arms above her head while the other pumped his cock.

Carefully he slid it up and down between her folds, letting her need for him lubricate it before pushing into her with a single calculated and restrained movement.

Y/n breathed heavily as her body adjusted to his large size, and the mere second her thoughts indicated he was okay to move, Edward hoisted her legs onto his shoulders and began to pound into her as if he were taken over by his inner animalistic urges, his grunting and growling moans further solidifying that comparison.

Y/n couldn't do much but take it, unable to form a sentence or thought, his name a never ending prayer spilling from her lips. Her eyes stung with forming tears from the sheer pleasure brought by his relentless pounding, spilling down her cheeks when he used his free hand to rub her clit in time with his thrusts.

"I'm going to claim you, I'm going to mark you from the inside." Edward vowed with a growl, leaning further into Y/n's body, folding her even more in half and allowing for his length to get even deeper inside of her. Y/n could do little other than let out a scream in pleasure. Edward seemed to be enjoying the deeper position too, his hand that was gripping her wrists above her head tightening it's grip to the point Y/n was certain he would leave bruises, the thought of which turned her own further, her pussy clenching around him.

Y/n was greatful for her boyfriends ability to read minds, she doubted she would have the ability to vocalize how close she was to her climax through her endless moans. Luckily, she didn't even have to try.

"You're going to cum for me? Good, I'm going to cum too, I can't hold it much longer." He growled out, ending with a gasp as he pushed in the deepest he had been able to get yet. "Cum for me Y/n," he ordered.

Y/n didn't even have the chance to hold it back, not that she would have wanted to anyways, her body acting on its own to climax the second he barked out his orders. Edward's body seemed to do the same, his thrusts slowing down and his hand letting go of her wrists, both arms propping himself up over her as he looked down at the sweaty and fucked out body of Y/n below him with an unreadable expression.

Y/n felt herself grow empty as he pulled out of her, followed by the trickle of cum flowing out of her achingly sore pussy. She looked up at him with half lidded eyes as she felt a wave of sleepiness take over her body. Even if she wasn't tired she doubted she could even remember how to move with how foggy her brain felt.

Edward brushed a few strands out of her face, leaning in to kiss her forehead tenderly.

"You bring me closer to god."

[simphornies]

A/N: Short but you'll see why <3 Loves and kisses!

Word count: 1.1k (1,196) Warnings: blood, everyone's fighting, major injury, alastor being alastor

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Deal Breaker [ Vox x Angel!Reader ] part 5

Your ears were ringing, vision blurred. The dust from the rubble got caught in your throat making you cough. Pain was the first thing you felt when your senses came to. As soon as the dust cleared you realized that you’d been entrapped under the rubble, one wrong move and it could all cave in. You looked down and two of your wings were pinned, golden blood oozing from under it.

Charlie was trying to get you out of the rubble, her screams were faintly audible and you heard her digging through. Then it stopped after another loud boom. The pain overpowered your body, you couldn’t yank yourself out without ripping your wings apart. For once in your life, you felt absolutely helpless under the rubble with no way of contacting anybody. You just hoped that the others were okay.

The Vees had come with their army of goons and with the lack of preparation everyone in the hotel had, everyone was in a struggle. Lucifer and Alastor were enraged, their demon forms fully showing. With Alastor’s tendrils and Lucifer’s mobility, they fended off the majority of the attackers. They both aimed for Velvette as soon as they got an opening.

Velvette laughed and wielded an angelic spear, launching it straight at Lucifer. Lucifer got ready to dodge it but Alastor quickly caught it, to his dismay, before it could get too close. “Wrong move.” She grinned.

Lucifer turned quickly and saw that Valentino had a dagger up to Charlie’s neck. His eyes turned red and flew straight at him. “Ah ah.” He menacingly smiled, “Any closer and Little Bleeding Heart will get it.” He cut her neck just enough to make her start bleeding.

He laughed as he saw everyone freeze, “For an establishment filled with such power…” He grinned wider with pride, “You all are so weak.”

They were at a standstill, neither side couldn’t move but it was clear that the Vees had the advantage.

Back at Vox’s security room he sees the commotion at the hotel, his heart dropping as soon as he realizes you weren’t on the field. “Y/N…” He scanned through all the footage and not once did he see you appear. He saw the first attack that made the ceiling fall. He thought of the worst. He knew he wasn’t in good enough physical condition to fight, making him hesitate. He sucked it up and left for the hotel as fast as he could go, traveling through the wires.

“What do you want?” Vaggie screamed, spear pointed at Valentino from a distance.

He laughed, “We want Y/N. To fuck off from you and work for us.” The evil in his grin wasn’t hard to miss.

“Like hell we’d ever hand her over to you, you freaks.” Husk hissed. His statement turned Valentino’s smug grin into a frown.

“Watch it, cat,” He held the blade tighter to Charlie’s neck, “I’ll kill this little bitch right n—”

A punch launched Valentino forward, blade dropping behind him. Lucifer flew to Charlie the moment he saw the opening as she fell to the floor. “Sweetie, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She coughed out. “But who-”

Everyone averted their attention to who landed the blow and to their surprise, Vox stood there seething with rage. “What the fuck, Vox?” Velvette screamed. It wasn’t long until she was surrounded by Alastor’s tendrils, all holding weapons. She groaned and crossed her arms, admitting defeat.

“I told you two to not fuck with, Y/N. Her business is with me and I change my mind however much I fucking want.” He angrily spoke, his voice laced with a stereo like effect. His cracked screen had sparks flying out of them, making him glitch every now and then.

The Vees got tied up and monitored by Lucifer while everyone else ran to find you under the rubble. You saw everything that happened thanks to the watch Vox gave you. Since Vox’s screen was cracked, you couldn’t get a hold of him and he was the only person that the watch could connect to. You just hoped everyone wasn’t hurt too bad.

Alastor stayed behind, facing Vox from across the battlefield. He glared at him, his smile becoming more menacing. “Greetings, old pal.” He snarled.

“Alastor.” Vox replied, “Look about Y/N, I’m s-”

“Keep her name-” He grew bigger in size, completely embracing his demon form, “OUT OF YOUR LYING MOUTH.” He hissed and launched his tendrils to attack him. Vox zapped away to dodge the attack, shooting electricity to make them fade away and to maintain his distance from him.

“Alastor! Let me expl-” A tendril managed to uppercut him, knocking him down. Alastor moved closer to him, looming over the injured Vox.

“My presence here in Hell surely stays an enigma. But blatant-” He kicks his side, tossing him a couple of feet. Vox clutched his side, blood dripping from the side of his mouth. “-and deliberate lies!” He stepped on him, savoring the sound of his ribs cracking underneath his shoes. “That damage my relations are where I draw the line.” His uncomfortable grin made Vox glitch out in fear, the sparks that flew out of the crack becoming more frequent. “I’ll make an example out of your wretched decisions to remind everyone not to mess with the Radio Demon.” He lifted his claws and lunged at Vox.

He was too weak to fight back or try to zap away. He knew his systems were in no condition to handle a fight, let alone one with Alastor. He looked up and watched as his claws came closer and closer.

For a moment, he thinks back on you. He remembered every detail he grew to love. He realized that he acted too quickly on his ideas. He remembered how you managed to soften his character, how you smiled whenever he’d give you gifts, how you were the common sense to his rash decisions. He remembered how your laugh would differ depending on the situation and he definitely remembered how it sounded when you were truly happy. He remembered the hospitality you provided him, the second chance you offered despite his reputation and his standing with Alastor. He realized that his pride prevented him from seeing the truth of it all.

He fell in love with you.

And he only came to realize it at the face of death.

He gritted his teeth, pushed his pain to the side and managed to zap away, avoiding Alastor’s claws. This move made him wince in pain. Alastor growled, “Putting up a senseless fight? You might just impress me.” He laughed.

Vox clenched his fists, “I’m not letting you kill me until I get to apologize to her.” He dodged an attack, “And I’m not letting anything stop me from telling her the full truth. And I put that on my soul. But I’m not hurting her more by attacking her friends. Especially you.”

He moved further away, “I surrender.” He raised his hands up in defeat. Alastor simply laughed at him before launching another set of tendrils toward him. Vox shut his eyes and braced for impact.

Taglist: @emekeneme @ghostdoodlen @chewbrry @dawko-fanpage @lofasofabread @hxzbinwrites @rapunzelbro @elsihiaweee @blackrose8425 @dickmastersworld @lofasofabread @rosiethevoxobesser @themetalbabygirl @markster666 @riskyraiker @fadingflowers-world(it won't let me tag the two of you but i'll send them)

[ramp-it-up]

Red Wings

Summary: Bucky wants to earn his red wings with you.

Pairing: Beefy Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: Around 1300

A/N: This is based on this ask:  What if reader and Bucky are shopping and he sees her put feminine cleanliness products in the basket? How would he react?

Again, sorry this is so late! I’ve been neglecting my inbox. This is a one shot

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT! Read at your own risk; curate your own experience. Wee bit of angst on the part of the reader. Period talk, personal hygeine products, suggestive language (whew!) Talk of: Period sex, protected sex, unprotected sex (you still need to wrap it up), nipple play, anal play,  shower sex, anal sex. 

 Not Beta’d. All errors my own. 

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Despite your best efforts, James Buchanan Barnes found you.

He was, after all, a world class agent of stealth. And the former Winter Soldier.

You should have known better than to think you would outsmart him.

You watched in horror as he approached you with what he had in his metal hand.

You gasped.

Bucky raised his eyebrow at you and smirked. Then he shook his head as he deposited his item in the grocery cart.

It was a huge box of Cheerios. Plain.

“I know you don’t like them, Doll. We can go and you can pick out your sugar infested chocolate doo dahs if you want.”

You just nodded and hid your hand behind your back, a huge lump in your throat.

“Hold up. We need a couple boxes of these.” 

Bucky grinned as he grabbed two cartons of Magnum XLs and tossed them in the cart. 

“Those should last the week.”

You just stared at him, trying to slowly move your hand as you backed toward the shelf.

Bucky chuckled again and grabbed two more boxes.

“You’re right, we need more than that.” 

He waggled his eyebrows at you, and then noticed what you were doing.

“What ya got there doll?” 

He nodded toward you, suspicion evident on his face.

You were caught. There was no use lying. You sighed and brought your hand from around your back to reveal a feminine hygiene product.

“Might not need those condoms this week, Bucky.”

You avoided his eyes as you deposited it in the cart.

Well, this was it. You’d just started being domestic with Bucky and you really liked him, but this might be a deal breaker. You clutched the handle of the shopping cart and stared at the wheels.

“Hey,” Bucky moved close to you and tilted your face up by your chin, forcing you to look up at him. 

“You good, Doll?”

You cleared your throat and tried to avoid those bluer than blues.

“I- I’m fine. That time of the month, y-know. So…”

You huffed.

“I know it’s gross, and I understand if you want to…”

“Doll. Look at me.”

You focused on Bucky, your cheeks hot.

“I know it’s your time of the month. I asked if you were good. Are your symptoms worse than usual?”

“H-how…?”

Bucky smiled down at you and leaned in.

“I can smell you.”

You closed your eyes, mortified.

“I am so… so sorry Bucky.”

“I said, look at me.”

Your eyes snapped open at his tone. You watched him lick his lips and observed the look in his eyes.

He looked..it couldn’t be.

“No need to apologize, unless it’s for not giving me any sooner.” 

Bucky watched your mouth as it dropped open.

“You’re killing me here, Doll.”

He cocked his head.

“We’ve been intimate for what? About three weeks? And we’ve been dating for three months?”

You were able to nod as his hand moved down to gently rest on your shoulder, his thumb brushing your neck. Goosebumps were raised all over your body.

“It was torture during each of your goddess times for me to hold myself back. You smell so… Goddamn Doll. You don’t know, do you?”

You shook your head now, speechless.

“You were on when we met, remember? I wanted to ravage you, but that would have been rude.”

You giggled, remembering your instant attraction.

“Oh my god, Bucky…”

“It was somewhat easier that night, since we barely knew each other, and plus I was havin the time of my life talking to you. You’re so damn smart, Doll”

Your boyfriend looked at you appreciatively, then went on.

“But when we became a couple, each month I just wanted to revel in you, but I sensed you were uncomfortable with it. But it was hard. God, I was so hard. Every single time.”

This time when you shook your head, it was in disbelief. 

Bucky pulled you closer to him.

“I am not a little boy. I’m a grown man. In fact, I’m an old man.” 

You stared up into his face, captivated. 

“I am not afraid of your womanhood. It’s not ‘gross.’ In fact, I happen to know that it can be very pleasurable for me… and for you during this time…”

You put your hands on his chest, feeling as if you couldn’t breathe.

How could he be this perfect?

“You’re more sensitive, especially your tits, Doll. Right?”

You didn’t, you couldn’t answer, but the answer was pressed up against him. He could feel it. He leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“They are bigger and softer right now. Nipples so fucking delicious. I bet I could make you cum just from licking them. Maybe sucking softly?”

The moan you let out was not appropriate for the grocery store, thank goodness it wasn’t loud. Bucky had you wrapped around his little finger, and you wanted to be wrapped around his big dick, cycle be damned.

“If you let me in, you’d be extra tight, you’d hug me so good and snug and I’d have to go slow, until you beg me to go fast, and it will feel like extra creamy goodness, especially because we won’t need those…”

He nodded toward the condoms and your eyes watered at the thought of fucking Bucky raw. He took a ragged breath before he continued.

“We can do it in the shower, or just lay down a towel. We’re both grown, Doll.”

He paused.

“Or…” 

Bucky was huffing in your ear now and you could feel his erection against your hip . 

“Or… I know you like it when I play, my fingers, or my tongue… in your other hole…”

“Bucky!” 

You hit his chest, and looked around. Bucky didn’t care who might have been around.

“Am I lying?” 

Bucky laughed and turned you around, grasping the cart around you, so you could feel his cock in your backside. You flushed when an older couple walked by and smiled at you two. It looked innocent, but it was anything but.

When they were out of earshot, you replied. 

“No… it’s just… you’re just so… I don’t know if it will fit...”

Bucky leaned down and kissed your neck, one hand splayed gently against your stomach, as the other reached for some personal lubricant and put it in the cart.

“Oh, Baby Doll,” Bucky groaned in your ear. “We’ll make it fit. And we’ll feel so good doing it.” 

You used to think you didn’t want it. But now you did. Your body was ready and clenching around nothing. That had to change.

“Fuck. Bucky.”

The neediness in your voice was readily apparent.

“Yes.”

He took a ragged breath, trying to calm down.  

“Bottom line is if you want to fuck Bucky on your cycle, off your cycle, 365, 24/7, this dick is yours. No qualifications, no black out dates. I want to have you in every single way.”

He cleared his throat and stepped back from you.

“So get whatever products you need. No need to hide them from me, Doll.”

He grabbed your neck and brought you in to kiss your forehead.

“I’ve got to take a walk because I have the biggest hard-on. I’m going to go get you some cocoa sugar dyno puffs on aisle 10 before I bend you over the salad bar and fuck you until we get arrested.”

You both laughed but the look in his eye said that he wasn’t totally joking. You swallowed and nodded, reaching for your products.

You turned around and Bucky was gone, as if that had been a dream. You began to wonder if it was.

Your phone vibrated and you pulled it out to look at the message.

Hurry up Doll. You got me so worked up that  at the very least I gotta suck your nipples until you cum. 

You practically ran to the checkout lane. 

When you saw James Buchanan Barnes’ fine ass waiting for you was when you decided to do the absolute most.

[alltoomaples]

love.jpg - LN

pairing: fem!uni student x lando norris

synopsis: lando gets invested in working with cameras after you talk about your day in photography class and you two discover a new language of love <;33

type: writing + instagram au

a/n: finally writing up the very first writing for my new series until i found you. and ik i have been super super lacked in writing. you guys have no idea how much and many ideas ive got but procastination takes the most of it! im trying my best to work upon it and now that my finals are nearing, i may try to write as a stress breaker soo fingers crossed.

until next one, happy reading <;33

part 2 is out now!! check it out :))

. . . .

You came home from your last class of the semester from uni. As much as you love photography and graphic design, its definitely tiresome when being pursued as a Masters degree. But you won't complain much about it cause at the end of the day, you love what you do. And so does your boyfriend.

"Congrats on completing another semester, bubba!" Lando greets as he speed walks to you and engulfs you in a hug.

You drop your bags carefully and hug him back tight as you mourn in exhaustion. Your whole body gives up that Lando was quick to pick you up and let the both of you fall on the couch. Chuckles leave from your mouth as he leans in and kissed your forehead.

"I'm so so proud of you, Y/N/N" He says, looking into your eye, pinning your hair behind the ear as he rests his hand on your cheek.

"I haven't completed my course, Lan"

"Yet. And soon you will be my personal photographer and designer for Quadrant" Lando says very proudly.

"Well in that case, be ready to say goodbye to your bank accounts" you say, smirking at him as you squish his cheeks.

"I'll be happy to make our joint accounts"

"It's a deal then!"

. . . .

"So tell me about your project?" Lando asks as we clean dishes after dinner.

"Well, basically, we have to make a portfolio for photography class. We need to select a theme and shoot pictures showcasing that theme" you say, as you dried the final plate.

"That sounds so much fun and creative!"

"It is actually! till you finalize the theme cause that's the main brainers" you say as you place the dishes back to the shelves and lando keeps the leftovers in fridge.

"And that's what i'm here for! Let me help you with the picture and theme and stuff" Lando says, being very supportive and super excited like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Bubba, i appreciate you and your help but you'll be busy with race weekends, PR promos and Quadrant stuff. Do you really wanna squish mine on top of this busy business??" you ask, being concerned about him.

He walks over to you, grabbing your face in his and leans in.

"Let me be a part of your project. Think of me as your project buddy who also happens to be your boyfriend" Lando says, making puppy eyes which makes harder to say no to him.

"Alrighty love. You're in!"

"Wooohoooo!!! Let's goooo babyyyy!!" He does his small victory dance as he sung to HSM: we're all in this together

You laughed silently as you walked into your work room and picked up a camera. Lando eventually followed you and found you holding the camera.

"Wait- we are already starting with the work??"

"We haven't even chosen a theme, you dum dums" you say, ruffling his head which messes the small curls a bit.

"Ohh yeah. I'd suggest you to do some trial run shots, like you know, play around capturing day to day events. Maybe something will spark and voila, you'll have a theme ready!" Lando says, as he fixed his hair while looking in the mirror.

"That's actually a great idea bubs!!! I'm gonna do that now. You really do love this subject of mine, don't you??" You ask, as you really loved his input he just gave and you're quite impressed with it.

His level of creativity is something you've always loved and appreciated his talents. And isn't it just lovely to see people talk about their passions!

And this just made you think it's time to finally give him one of your passions.

"This camera is yours from today. I've been wanting to give you this as I've seen you've been very much interested in photography and something you can take along with you and remind you of me" you say, whispering at the end as you felt your cheeks heat up due to the cliché that you just happen to say which isn't a very you thing to do.

Lando stood there with the camera in his hands, in complete awe at the gesture of yours.

"Y/N! you have no idea how much this means to me!! This isn't just any camera, this is one you truly used for your good works" He says, pulling you closer to his. He makes you look up to him, leaning in close as he kisses you softly yet lovingly. Your hands make their way behind his neck, pulling him close to you.

"I love you, so much y/n/n" Lando says, almost as a whisper as he rests his nose with yours.

"and i love you, much more lan" you whisper back with a smile as you do the eskimos kiss.

. . . .

Instagram

lando.jpg

liked by carlossainz55, charlesleclerc, y/n.clicks and 3,566,962 others

landonorris: your fellow neighborhood cameraman📸

the best gift from the best <;33 y/n.clicks

view 41,06,765 comments

username1: wait Y/N gave her VERY OWN CAMERA TO LANDO!?!?

y/n.clicks: not bad for a beginner! have fun bubby🫶🏼

lando.jpg: learnt from the best ;)) will do!❤️

username2: he learnt with her?! talk about couple goals💗💖💞

charlesleclerc_: well i guess we'll say goodbye to this camera eventually. have you thought this through y/n.clicks 🤔🤔

y/n.clicks: i had a really good run with it soo if it breaks its alright, I'll get a new one 😙

lando.jpg: you two know that i can read your comments right?? hah RUDE😡

username3: i cant- 🤣🤣🤣🤣

username4: we're gonna be seeing what lando wants people to see. I LOVE IT!!!

y/n.clicks

liked by charlesleclerc_, maxfewtrell, landonorris and 1,609,992 others

y/n_l/n: handing over ceremony📷

lando 🤝 lando.jpg

tagged: landonorris

view 105,020 comments

lanndonorris: key moment of my life and career❤️

y/n.clicks: landonorris bubbaaa🥺💗

username1: i want what they have😭😭💛

carlossainz55: wow, he is growing up🥹🥹

y/n.clicks: ikr!!!🤧🤧

landonorris: you two ughhhhh🙄🙄

username2: this is sooo adorable ahhh!!

username3: thanks to y/n now we're gonna embark the cameraman lando era!

y/n.clicks: this is just the beginning of the era!!

lando.jpg

liked by ciscanorris, y/n.clicks and 2,954,755 others

landonorris: day at the bay with my bae

tagged: y/n.clicks

view 957,542 comments

username1: oh my. oH mY! OhOh MymY!!😍🤩

y/n.clicks: caption might be chessy af but the pictures, mamma mia🥵😍

liked by lando.jpg

maxfewtrell: now i get it why you ditched for golfing, you simp!

y/n.clicks: wait what!?! lando did that??

lando.jpg: 😳😳😳😳 busted?

ciscanorris: lando ditching golf?? he's soo into his cameraman era!!!🫡💗

username3: everyone say thank you y/n for getting lando a camera

username4: seriously! THANK YOU QUEEN Y/N

lando.jpg: FACTS!! thank you y/n.clicks 🫂🫶🏼

liked by y/n.clicks

y/n.clicks

liked by ciscanorris, pierregasly, olivernorris and 10,954,755 others

y/n_l/n: my favourite kind of cheese🧀 landonorris

tagged: lando.jpg

view 45,998,972 comments

username1: the caption🥹😭💖💞💗✨️

username2: them>>>>>>

riabish: LOVE IS IN THE AIR🫶🏼✨️

danielricciardo: you guys are so disgustingly adorable🫡💖

landonorris: now who's the chessier one??😏😏

y/n.clicks: landonorris still YOU🫣

landonorris: 😂😂😂

. . . .

also I'm thinking for a part 2 for this, lemme know if you're interested too :))

check out my works: until i found you masterlist | other works

part 2 is out now!! check it out :))

[sk3tch404]

Late Night Hanma Blurb

A/n: Thought abt this during an itty-bitty road trip today. Smoker Hanma does smth to the chemicals in my brain. Forgive me for any lengthy bad writing. I've had a long day and I just wanna yip yap about one of my fav crazies 🙇

CW: Hanma can give two shits about your lung health but chooses not to when he feels like it, intimidation, threats of forced drug usage, sometimes forced participation in violent activities, thoughts of lovers suicide/murder(?), and whatever other yappin I put in here.

Hanma who smokes a fuck ton and doesn't mind giving you the good ol' second-hand effects of it, but absolutely detests you doing it on your own.

He snatches the stick from your mouth and holds it up and away from you with a small grit in his teeth. Hanma glares down in some curiosity but clearly squints in irritation.

"The hell is this? Don't tell me I'm being a bad influence on you now. If I catch you with one of these again, I won't let you off the hook so easily. You got it, Y/n?"

When you retort, telling him it's no different from when he does it and it is your own choice whether he likes it or not, he merely scoffs with a tilt of his narrow head. Throwing down the cigarette, the sound of his sneaker stomping and scraping it out against the pavement echos through the air with an annoying presence. Shuji demands the rest of your stash with a looming stare that can only put you into a state of sinking discimfort.

"Come on, don't be stubborn. Ya know, if you wanna do it so bad, why don't you try the whole pack? Mine too since it's a shitload better than that cheap stuff."

Reluctant on suffocation and early lung cancer, you begrudgingly hand over your smokes to him. Hanma smacks down on the box with an evidently loud shot of noise and slides it out of your palm. He pockets it with a stretched smile as he leans down towards you.

"See, now it ain't so hard to listen."

He's still ticked off by the fact you think you can do whatever to your body without his permission, but since Shuji is so generous, he'll let you learn from your mistakes. See, he can be nice.

Don't test him though. Next time you're caught defying his selfish wishes, he's beating you down with degrading language and probably also beating whoever was involved. The convenience store employee that sold you the cigs, vape, or maybe even chewing tobacco? Yeah he's taking out his held back frustration on them. Bro is jumping over the counter and tearing their shit up.

Avoiding him because of his brutal and honest-to-God psychopathic personality? Now that's just cruel. Shuji is dragging your ass by the back of your shirt and pushes you to his motorcycle. The leopard print on the back of the bike makes you wanna barf every time you see it, but you got to keep it down if you wanna have enough energy to deal with him. He'll take you out no matter where you are at in that point of time and make you remember who he is; who you think you're messing with.

"Y/n, how many times do I have to tell you? Aim for the nose. That's easy for amateurs like you. Actually, lemme show you how to really deliver a jaw breaker-"

Yeah, he'll show you just how bad it can get with some random thugs on the street. You should be grateful with how gentle he's treating you. Instead of ending up with facial fractures, you have nice dates and thoughtful gifts. He's even teaching you a few tricks. How lucky can you get?

"I'm all done. Shit, I'm starved. Let's go grab a bite to eat, kay?"

Hanma thinks the only way you'll ever keep paying attention to him is if he keeps you and your actions in line. If you go off doing your own thing, his usually unmoving heart can't just stand there and watch you slowly leave him. Despite the negativity be brings into your life, he actually gets really fuckin anxious when he doesn't know or understand what you're doing. It's so troublesome how you make him feel. Yeah, being bored as shit is bad, but seeing you, the only thing that could ever bring him down to his knees unwillingly, slip away with nothing but disdain for him? Fuck no. He won't accept it. Shuji would rather kill you and then himself than have to bear the strange feeling of pain, or what other people call heartbreak, by his lonesome self.

Should he ever say he loves you, that would be the point of no return for the both of you. His hands have you tight in his clutches. No way out, no way back in for anyone else.

[iamthejinyouarethejin]

You didn’t mean for this to happen.

He didn’t either.

Not that he was complaining.

He’s caught you sending some suggestive pics to a guy you were talking to, nothing personally explicit, but some pics of you smirking with a little dirty talk.

He wasn’t that jealous, right?

I mean, you guys weren’t dating. Right?

Whatever happened was complicated, and before either of you knew it he was about to fuck you senseless on a hotel bed.

He was about a year older than you, and you’d met through his brother, a friend of yours. Eventually, you guys started hanging out more, eventually, he began to fall for you, and eventually the more he wanted you, the less you seemed to notice him.

Not saying you weren’t attracted to him, but not in the way he was to you. He was cute, funny, kind- You knew that.

But...

To him...

you were everything.

You were his goddess.

His muse.

His queen.

The most beautiful person in the world.

He was really in love with you.

Which may just explain why he reacted as irrationally as he did.

“Who the duck is this?!”

“My f-”

“Y/N!!”

“Just shut up! It’s not even that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal?!”

He… had a quite a temper.

“Yeah- it’s not. You just assume everything you touch belongs to you.”

“I-” Touch. He had never really touched you before… not the way he wished.

“So just mind your stupid business!”

You'd never raised your voice at him before- Not out of anger.

"So you think just this guy is the one, right?!"

"F it- why can't he be? I like him, he's sweet, he has control of his temper, unlike you-"

That was the deal breaker. You don't compare the man that dreams of you every night and wishes for you to carry his children, to another guy. Specifically not a man you've known for about a week.

"What's so great about him then?! Is he the man of your dreams? Huh? Can he give you everything you want? Everything I can't?!"

"..."

"Huh? HUH?! Answer me, y/n! Or has a cat got your tongue?!"

"He makes me happy..." you spoke under your breath.

"Oh really?"

“Yeah-

“What about me then!?” His face was barely an inch from yours, you could practically feel your heart shaking the ground beneath you.

And that’s how things happened.

"What about you?!"

"Really?"

"REALLY! You don't even seem to care about me anymore, so I just... I just figured that you didn't- that you didn't want to be around me anymore." Your voice trailed off into a meaningless whisper.

"I've only ever wanted you," he muttered.

And he didn't hesistate to show it. He pulled you close to him, lightly rubbing his nose on your shoulder and kissing your cheek.

"Unless..."

Every part of you throbbed, and your hands explored every inch of his body.

"You don't want it," he spoke.

"I do..." Your quick response startled him. "I do. It's just that-"

Kiss.

"W-we..."

Kiss.

"I-"

Kiss.

"This can't-"

"What?" he snapped, clearly irritated. "Happen?"

You avoided his heavy gaze, still involuntarily touching him like he was in need of protection.

"Why? Why can't it happen?" His voice barely above a whisper, icy breath stinging your eyes and nose.

"I-"

Tightly gripping both your legs, he carried you to the small hotel queen bed, nibbling on your neck.

"I'm the one for you," he whispered. "But I can't make you do anything." He pulled away from you, sincerity in his eyes. "I can ask you to give us a chance."

You pulled his face into yours, indulging in the sweet taste of his lips and basking in your warm scent.

You had a chance. You were gonna take it. Better yet...

Would it be a mistake?

[7ndipity]

Meeting Yeontan

Taehyung x Reader

Warnings: not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this, this was such a cute idea, I hope you like it!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"You don't have to be so nervous." Tae chuckled as he drove you to his place.

"He's practically your son, how can I not be nervous?" You responded.

You were taking a very important step in you and Tae's relationship today, meeting Yeontan.

You were well acquainted with the tiny dog from video clips online and countless stories from Tae, but you'd yet to actually meet him in person. And although you were honestly super excited to see him, you were also a bit anxious. If he didn't like you, it was potentially a major deal breaker for you and Taehyung.

Tae, however, more than made up for your nerves with his excitement. There was no doubt in his mind that the little pomeranian would love you.

"Tannie! Daddy's home!" Tae called as he let you both into the house. Immediately, you heard the faint clicking of tiny paws on the tile floor, the small ball of fluff rounding the corner expectantly.

"There you are!" Tae cooed, scooping him up and smushing him in tight hug before turning to you. "I have someone I'd like you to meet. This is y/n."

"Hi Tannie." You said, trying to curb your excitement, extending your hand for him to take a cautionary sniff.

He eyed you for a brief moment, seeming to size you up, before giving you a tiny lick of acceptance, causing you to let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding.

"See? I told you there was nothing to worry about!" Tae beamed, letting the dog back down, where he happily circled the two of you. "Let me give a tour of the place."

As Tae showed you around, Yeontan followed behind you every step, desperate to regain your attention.

Once you made it back to the living room, you quickly made yourself comfortable on floor, sitting cross legged and digging through your bag for the treats and toys you'd brought for the tiny dog.

Tae sat down on the couch, watching happily for several minutes as two of the most important people in his life got better acquainted.

"I'm starting to feel a little neglected over here." Tae called eventually, neither of you having even acknowledged his presence for some time.

"Are you talking to me or Tannie?" You asked.

"Both." He smirked. "I didn't think I'd get replaced so quickly."

You're welcome to join us." You offered, patting the floor next to you.

Taking your invitation, he quickly slid over next to you.

"You wanna some of his tricks?" He asked.

"Yes please." You said, passing him the bag off treats.

"Here. Tannie, paw!" He said, holding his hand out, Yeontan copying his movement and placing his paw on Tae's hand.

"Wow, he's better behaved than you!" You giggled.

"Hey!"

The rest of the evening was passed peacefully, you eventually fell asleep on the couch with Yeontan on your lap, Tae sneaking a photo of the two of you, feeling his heart squeeze at the thought of this being the start of his own tiny family.

[celerydays]

could you walk us through what notebooks & journals & pens /etc you use - they look so good!

I would be SO happy to, you have no idea!!

Alright, let's fucking GOOOO~

Starting off with my current "workhorse" pens - I have like *checks notes* 36 fountain pens and a bit too many inked up atm, but these are just the ones I'm currently reaching for or have inked up more often than not:

TWSBI Go (F): Kinda ugly! But also kinda cute! It's cheap and works great (I friggin love TWSBI pens tbh) and it has a little hole on the cap where you can attach a lanyard or charms, like I did! Makes it cuter imo and it's kind of my emotional support pen these days.

Opus88 Pocket (EF): This 2022 edition has a little Moon tarot design on the cap so it's pretty much the pen I use exclusively for my witchy/tarot practice journals! A lil bummed the cap doesn't post, especially since its a shorter pocket-sized pen, but not a deal breaker and I still love it.

Pilot Custom 823 (F): My grail pen that I've literally coveted for years and just recently acquired at the DC Pen Show this weekend! It's only been a day but I think it could potentially become my favorite pen. Ever.

Pilot Prera (CM): This is my third Prera lol. I just think they're great and really underrated pens! Also a recent acquisition from the DC Pen Show and this cursive M nib is suuuuper fun to write with.

Pilot Vanishing Point (EF): My favorite pen for planning! Super fine-tipped for writing task lists and schedules and love that it's so convenient/quick-draw with the click mechanism.

(I'm totally a Pilot pen ho, can you tell? asdjflaglsg)

Journals/Planners/Notebooks under cut–

Sterling Ink B6 Common Planner: For a good chunk of this year, I was in this planner because I honestly love the size and all the layouts. Super practical and flexible as a system. 10/10 would go back. I've used it to plan, as a reading journal, as a tarot log...

But I get the itch to move around so it's been sitting a little unused since like June, oop.

Leuchtturm A6: I started craving something tiny and minimal so I've been bullet journaling in this pocket notebook for the last month or two and I'm really enjoying it!

Standard-sized Tomoe River Paper notebook: This is pretty consistent in that I don't change up the system itself, but I'm in and out of it for memory keeping/scrapbook journaling! It's almost always a Tomoe River paper notebook of SOME kind that I usually buy in A5 size to go to FedEx and get it cut down to standard. Though I'm thinking of getting a blank Midori MD A5 to have cut down next time - I've been liking the freedom of blank pages for journaling instead of anything lined or gridded.

I really need to catch up with it tbh, but I love sitting in an explosion of printed photos, stickers, and washi and going ham with the pages.

(I do have a flip through of my January-March 2022 pages on YouTube)

Midori MD Cotton B6 Slim: I also have this sketchbook that sorta turned into a visual sketch diary of sorts. I fell off a while ago but want to get back into it because it's super fun to work in and to look back on!

Wide-sized Cosmo Air Light notebook & A5 Filofax Malden: These are my tarot/witchy journals. Grimoires I guess? One is for journaling and all my messier notes while the other is more for reference and ease of organization.

A5 Leuchtturm: I didn't know if I should include this guy, but I've been writing it in a lot recently so I guess I will lol. This is like truuuly a miscellaneous™ notebook.

I got this A5 notebook back in 2017 to use as my very first bullet journal, then found out that this size is personally waaaay too big for me to use as a bullet journal so I hopped off of it pretty quick. It now sits on my desk because since it's mostly blank I'll just pick it up to use it to write literally A N Y T H I N G.

Most recently, I wrote like 5 pages in one night on notes for a fanfiction piece I was working on (I'm not a writer, this fic is never gonna see the light of day by anyone but me lololol. Hyperfixation is so wild; I've put 80k+ words within just 10 days into it so far and it's been hella therapeutic.)

That's all, I think!?

It's funny because I actually have a NEW notebook arriving tomorrow that I'm going to try out as a bujo/commonplace/omni journal of sorts?? I might write an update post after I've set that up and see how I like it <3

[salty-jade]

Steps: Hand Holding

Pairing: Tom!Peter Parker x Fem! Reader

Theme: Fluff, just fluff.

Summary: Peter wants to hold hand with you, but how are you going to do that without exlpoding every single time he touches you?

Note: Okay, I'm back at it again. I think... Tbh this is sort of based on my own what if of myself once I have that special someone. also, I did this all in one go, so no edits whatsoever :D. If there is something triggering in this pls let me know!

Everyone in you circle of friends knew you had the biggest crush on Peter Parker. Obviously they didn’t know why since he was sort of a nerd and a geek at the same time. Well for you, that wasn’t a deal breaker since you liked him because he was just him. Loving, caring, sweet and if you look closely, actually handsome. Nevertheless, your friends were supportive and tried everything to get you two together.

So it came to no surprise for them that you two ended up together. Though, it was really because you discovered his secret identity by accident when you were taking out the trash at the same alley way where Peter would change into his super suit. Plus point for you since you saw his bare torso, which you swore justified your case on how handsome he was.

Still, because of that incident, you two became closer, and bloomed into something more. So now your friends are gushing over the possible things you and Peter would do as a new couple. Eat lunch together, walk to class together, talk about each other to other people, hold hands.

Wait.

Hold hands?

As in you and Peter’s fingers locking together while swinging your arms as you both cross a field of daisies???

Nope. Nope. and NOPE!

If Peter had a big secret to keep from the whole world, you had one too. Well, it’s not as huge as Peter’s but still something that you don’t want other people to know about. Peter’s your first boyfriend, therefore you’ve never really been physical with a guy before. The only people you could tolerate physical touch was the men in your family.

“Oh, don’t forget protection ok?! tell him to wrap his junior before sticking it in”

“Also, consent is important for both you and him okay girl? also…”

While your friends kept giving you tips on how to essentially ‘turn on’ your boyfriend and please him, all you could think in your head was about how you were going to even hold hands with him when he asks. forget sex, you could die just from holding hands!

So far, Peter hasn’t really touched you in anyway whatsoever. Heck, when you both confessed, Peter couldn’t event try and land a kiss on you because suddenly his senses alerted him of a villain so he had to drop you off somewhere safe before going out to battle.

The moment he wrapped his arms around your waist to hoist him up, your stomach was doing flips, face becoming different shades of red, and your brain turned into mush. You had to dunk your head into the bathtub to cool yourself from the heat of your face. You thought something was wrong with you. You thought it was weird for someone to be overstimulated with just a few touches with your partner. The romcoms you watch in your laptop certainly made it seem so. It made it seem like an amazing experience where you and your partner could share sweet moments together and just enjoy each other’s presence and act like it was only you two in the entire world. Well, both your heart and mind could not handle that much intimacy.

Was it because you’ve never date anyone before? or was it because you just have high expectations so your afraid of underperforming. Regardless of the reason, it was better to come clean to Peter rather than just keeping it to yourself.

Just as you made your self-declaration, you felt and hand on your arm, pulling you closer to another person’s body.

“Hey there Y/N!” your body, as if it was on auto-pilot, jumped at his touch and voice and instinctively backed a bit to hard unto your locker. Causing it to temporarily shake both the locker and somewhat your body due to the shock. Peter, being the lovely boyfriend he was, felt bad since he thought it was his fault for startling you and tried to hold you to help soothe the pain. Before he could do that though, you again backed away from him and kept a safe distance from him so he couldn’t touch you so you wouldn’t turn to mush.

“Hey! Hey Peter! umm how’s it going?” the fact that you tried to deescalate the situation to make it seem less awkward, just made the situation more awkward. Peter could only raise a brow at you and replied to your question.

“Everything’s good. yeah. I just wanted to see if you would want to walk to AP calculus together…” He said. The sound of guilt and confusion lingered in his voice as every time he raised his hand even slightly you would sort of jerk away from his touch.

“sure sure. we can do that, I just need to…” you looked around your surroundings to find a place where you could cool down for a bit before getting to class. Luckily, you found a bathroom.

“go to the bathroom real quick that’s all! So wait for me okay?! great!” before he could even reply, you dashed across the hall and into the bathroom to spare you the embarrassment.

One of your friends just patted Peter in the back to help reassure him that that was just who you were. “don’t worry, she LOVES you to death. she’s just shy that’s all.” and with that, your friend group had dispersed, each going to their own classes for today.

While you were in the bathroom checking the mirror to see if your face was still red from being touched by Peter. It wasn’t that Peter was not allowed to touch you. In fact, you really wanted to hold hands with him, but your body just reacts in the weirdest ways and your brain perceives it as you being overstimulated.

Before going out again, you took out a few books from your bag and carried them instead, just so could occupy them and avoid holding hands with Peter.

Peter saw you coming out of the bathroom, and he gave you his honest smile and walked up to you.

“I can carry those books for you if you wa-”

“NO!” ok that response was too fast, let’s try that again.

“I mean, no need. It’s ok! besides, you wouldn’t want people to know about the ‘thing you have right’?” you let out a dry chuckle, knowing that your excuse was the dumbest thing Peter might have heard in his entire life.

The whole walk towards class was weird in general. Peter kept wanting to try and find an opening to at least hold your shoulder or at least offer to carry your stuff so he could hold your hand, but something tells him that you were intentionally avoiding that opportunity for him. In the end, when you both made it to your seats in class, you both just exchanged notes while you tried to send him cute doodles so that he didn’t feel too bummed out about not being able to hold your hand.

You knew he didn’t deserve this treatment. He should be able to hold his girlfriend, kiss her whenever he wanted to. But, you just couldn’t handle the overload of affection from him. He was like the sun, while you were the midnight sky shying away from everything.

You both went on with your days as if you were just friends. Peter still tried to find an opening to at least graze your hand but, nothing. He sensed there must be something wrong with you. Maybe he was imagining things when you actually confessed that you liked him? was he reading the signals wrong? whatever it was, even Peter couldn’t solve this with only his intuition only. It was best that he asked you directly instead.

As soon as you both stepped out of the school, where a good few inches of empty space were between you and Peter, peter turned to you before you had the chance to escape the awkward situation.

“Can we talk?” he said. Your instincts were telling you that he probably wanted to talk about what happened this morning and your over all behavior today. I mean who could blame him, the whole day you’ve been avoiding his touches and advances the best you could so that you wouldn’t explode from an overload.

“y-yeah sure…”

Peter and you agreed it be better to talk about it back at his place since May wouldn’t be around the apartment. Though, it didn’t help you calm your worries since this is more about how are you going to explain it to Peter rather than having to go through May’s constant teasing of the two of you.

And now here you were, in his apartment.

alone.

together.

on the couch.

.

.

.

NOPE NOPE NOPE! even if there was no contact between you two, for some reason this situation alone was enough to make you overload. Even a blind person could tell you were nervous about this whole situation. You were as stiff as a tree, you wouldn’t even let yourself relax into the couch and sat in an upright position with your legs shut close together, while your hands were a=placed on top of them in the form of fist. Where even your knuckles started to turn white. Ok, now is a good as time as any for Peter to bring it up.

Peter sat back down on the couch after he grabbed you both something cool to drink. For some reason, he knew this conversation was going to make you burn up.

“Okay, umm… did I do something wrong?” your head shot up to look at him the instant he said those words.

“WHAT?! NO! I-I mean…. no… well, I mean there is something wrong but it’s not you per say… rather,” and there you go, falling a part as soon as you opened your mouth. God, you wish you could just crawl into a hole and die rather than explain the weirdest thing about you. But as you looked into his eyes. his warm brown eyes, you knew he deserved to know. So, you took a deep breath and tried to carefully construct the next few sentences in your head so that Peter can understand you.

“just so were on the same page, you noticed I’ve been trying to avoid… touching you right?”

All Peter could do was nod at your statement. He decided it was best if he added some words to it as well.

“Yeah, and I mean I get it if you don’t want us to be physical because if that’s your preference then by all means go-” You waved your hands in the air to tell him to shut up for a bit.

“No, no that’s not what I meant…I guess you could say I’m the weird one” Peter was sure he wasn’t following what you were saying just now. How could you be weird?

“Look, I don’t know why I’m like this, but… I’ve never had a boyfriend before and the thought of being in a relationship is new to me. What’s also new to me is the fact that I get to be physical with someone that I have really like and…” you looked back again at his face to see if he was following you along before continuing.

“The thought of even just holding hands with someone, especially you, just overwhelms me. I feel warm and fuzzy of course when I’m with you, like my heart just wants to jump around the room. But at the same time it feels like it might just burst and I feel like a PC that just short-circuits due to the heat. I guess you could say I get overstimulated? I’m not sure what to call it, but that’s just how I am…”

You didn’t realize that you were curling up into a ball on his couch when you finished your explanation. it did make a nice place to burry your head into so that you could calm yourself down for a bit before hearing Peter’s reply to what you just said.

Peter felt, giddy? like as if he saw the most cutest plush bear in the world and wanted to hug it so tight cause it was so cute. That was how he felt after your whole explanation. Your reason was totally valid, but on the other hand it also make Peter want to hold you close and see your face get red in the cutest way possible. Though, that might just make things worse.

You heard rustling from the other side of the couch and watch Peter hold up one of his fingers to you. Your brows furrowed at his sudden act.

“Let’s try something. I hold up one of my finger, and you just touch mine with your. how bout that?”

You swore this whole situation felt like something a pre-school teacher would do to a kid to get to know them.

“come on just humor me. Besides, think of it as a training exercise for yourself” and so you did.

You held out your index finger and connected the two together. You felt like Peter was E.T and you were the young boy in the movie.

“Are we recreating E.T here?!”

“I don’t know, maybe~” you giggled at his response.

“Ok, how bout we try this now,” Peter held out all his other fingers, signaling you to do the same with your hands. You showed signs of hesitance but you wanted to try even for a bit.

You unraveled your hands and brought both of your fingertips together slowly. First the thumbs, then the middle finger, the ring finger and finally your pinky. Your stomach felt like it was fluttering, along with you heartbeat starting to pick up the pace.

Peter could tell you were starting to “short-circuit” as you described. So he let you know it was ok if you didn’t want to continue. “We can stop if you want.”

you shook your head while keeping your hand steady in the air with his. Both of your fingertips were still touching, not once have you flinched away from his.

“I-it’s okay, I really wanna try holding your hand” the last bit of the sentence you dialed it down a bit so that Peter couldn’t hear it. Though, we all know he could hear it.

As if you were an astronaut taking your first step on a planet, you slowly brought you palm closer to Peter’s. Peter has not moved an inch from his position, so all of this was your own doing. Then slowly, but surely, your hands were clasped together. Now you could feel your face starting to burn, and your heart was pumping faster. This was only just hands touching, imagine if you did some of the things your friends kept telling you about.

Peter felt proud of you, even though he could see your face turn into different shades of red, but proud. Now, he felt like doing something bold, maybe you weren’t ready for it, but he wanted to at least try and see your reaction.

“I’m gonna do something so, be prepared ok”

“what?”

“Trust me” trust me. Never would you think those were the words from Peter that would make you turn into mush.

Peter then did the unthinkable, well at least for you. He shifted his hand a bit and slowly intertwined his hands with yours. Now, your fingers were interlaced with each other. You were both now holding hands. Something Peter wanted to do for the whole day. His hold on you was firm, not to the point where it hurts, but firm in a way that says he would never let go of you.

Your eyes widened, your instincts are telling you to pull away and stick your head into the bathtub filled with cold water. are your hands starting to sweat? you think it does. Are you sweating? maybe? God you are! What’s happening? can you still see Peter? Yes, but right now you really don’t want to turn into a tomato in front of him so you look to the side so that your hair is covering your face and avoid looking at him. But despite all that, your hand was still holding his. Never letting go.

Peter thought enough was enough so he tried to pull a way so that you could at least breath. Surprisingly, you were the one that held on.

“I- I don’t want my efforts to go to waste, or yours. So… is it okay if we stay like this for a bit” you were still looking away from Peter, but you lowered your hands so that it was comfortably resting on the couch.

“My heart is like beating a thousand miles per second right now I think, but I-I’m okay…” You finally looked at Peter. Your cheeks were flushed with shades of red, and your eyes seemed more like a doe to Peter now. God, he really wanted to hold you close now.

He shuffled a bit in the couch, trying to close the distance between you little by little.

“Is this okay?” Peter asked. He was still an arms length far from you, but closer nonetheless. You nodded. He then shifted closer, asking the same thing, and you replied the same. After going back and forth a bit, Peter was now only a few inches away from your body. You both still kept some form of distance, but the proximity between you two was closer than you could ever imagine. Peter asked one last time.

“How about this? Is this too close for you?” He said, almost like a whisper. Your heart had reached it’s breaking point, your brain was already in the process of turning into goop, your body was overheating as if gas was leaking out of your skin. Yeah, this was your limit for now Peter thought.

He backed a few inches away from you so you could compose yourself, while his eyes were still watching your every move. You finally let go of his hand and fanned yourself to cool your face.

You gave him a sheepish smile as you’re still embarrassed about the whole thing you just did with him, at the same time you were happy he tried to help you. Though, you don’t know how much your heart can take it if he keeps doing these things.

“How bout we just stick to hand holding for now?” you said.

Peter gave you his signature smile and grabbed your hand to hold it on his own. Though, he wasn’t done teasing you just yet, as once he grabbed your hand, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and kissed it as if he was a prince in a fairy tale giving the princess a greeting.

yeah, it was then and there you fainted.

[jellyluvr]

Fantasies within tapes

- Peter maximoff x reader ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

This is my first fic (👏👏), but don't expect much from me!! I've made fanfiction before, but I don't know if I'm really a likable source for it soo...

Be nice too!!!

Warnings: snooping, secrets, and porn, pornographic sounds too..🩷

Summary: You're at peters' house (his moms), but then you see a few tapes that catch your eye.

Tapes is just short for cassette tapes!!

(Not my gif!! Got it off pinterest)

You sit down on the leather couch, your thighs sticking to the coldness of it. A long and hot sigh slips from your mouth while you try to deal with the obnoxious heat.

Thankfully, there was no peter around to mess with you. He was annoying his little sister probably.. well, that's what you thought.

You couldn't help but wonder what to do. It was the first day of summer, the first day of freedom. You really didn't know what to do, though, that was until you saw a box of tapes.

Peter had a few for his walkman and his TV, so there was probably a lot to choose from.

You immediately jumped off the couch, your thighs making a "shwp" noise from them sticking.

Soon you pulled the box down, scanning over the various tapes.

Blue, clear, red, orange..

But one, this single one tucked in the corner was neon. A neon yellow.

You let out a subtle hum noise, your brows furrowing with confusion. No way he had a neon yellow tape with no label. All the other colorful ones had a label, usually with some band on it too. This one was oddly blank, only one letter labeling it.

"S."

Now you were really confused. Why 's'? What the hell was that even supposed to mean? Should you have even seen it?

You looked at all the tapes in the box before pouring them out on the floor. You set the yellow tape in between your thighs while you scrambled, looking for another tape like this one.

All of them were just band ones. Even the generic black ones were just for music.

Cussing to yourself, you pushed the tapes away off in the floor and crawled to the tv on your knees, face to face with the cassette deck. You were contemplating if this was bad, and you felt your stomach get all queasy. You weren't a rule breaker, just a normal person, unlike peter.

But what was in the tape? That was the whole reason you were doing this, wasn't it? I mean, you had to see it, right?

With your hand all sweaty and your stomach flipping, you push the tape into the cassette deck and take a deep breath before pressing play.

The usual 'play' and blue screen pops up before a grainy video starts to play. Your heart dropped seeing a girl spread out on a white bed and a man pushing into her.

His dick pounded in, and the girl made more noises when he started to play with her clit. The man groaned, and kept going, her face all mangled. Her tits moved with his movements, and his pounds got more aggressive.

"Slop, slop, slop"

His movements were swift and steady, perfect, really. That was probably what got the girl to shout with pleasure.

You covered your face, hearing the noises, it turning red by the minute, and you immediately stopped the tape.

'S' was for sex. You should've known.

You should've known the mysterious tape was porn, but you were too stupid to even realize that.

But the whole situation got worse when you heard the basement door open. "Fuck!" You whispered to yourself, taking the tape out and throwing it into the box. Then, you heard little steps tumble down the stairs.

"Y/n?" Lora asked at the bottom of the stairs in her little shorts and tank top. Her voice was soft, and she still seemed to be learning her words.

"Hey!!" Peter shouted, running down the stairs and seeing Lora at the bottom as well. He laughed a bit, picking her up while you watched.

Thankfully, you had put the tapes up, with only one left to spare. You hid it under the tv stand while peter just giggled playing with Lora.

"Sorry.. she's a little out of hand." Peter said, his eyes shifting to you while his little sister looked to you as well.

"Believe me, I know.." you let out a breathy chuckle before standing up and letting out a sigh.

Peter hadn't caught you.. yet.

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

If you're lucky, I'll do a part two.. jk I'll do a part two 🫶🏼

Oh, and sorry for it being so short!! This was just to get people to like me since I have no posts 😭

[bubsdolan]

Bubba, first time Grayson brings u to jersey and u meet Lisa

had this in my drafts for like 2 years, so enjoy it’s all yous are getting x (ps it’s not edited so don’t come for me)

ok stop it this is gonna be so pure because i could just imagine how excited gray would be to have his girl in his home town and around his family. the way grayson constantly sang his mother’s praises, it felt like you were already part of the family.

meeting lisa was definitely a huge step in your relationship, and although you had spoken to her a handful of times over facetime, meeting in person was more nerve wracking than you anticipated. you knew if she didn’t like you, that was a deal breaker for grayson. you passed the test with ethan, you were now onto a bigger one.

“sweetheart,” grayson could sense your worries by the continuous bouncing of your knee as his hand rested on your thigh whilst he drove up the all to familiar roads of jersey. they were unfamiliar to you, but you somewhat already felt at home. “ma already loves you, nothing to be nervous about.”

grayson’s squeezed your leg in a comforting manner, but even his reassurance wasn’t enough to have you easing up on the drive to his childhood home. chewing on your nails anxiously, your breathing hitched when you were met with an excitable Lisa standing at the end of the drive way, awaiting the arrival of her youngest son and the woman he had confused to his ma was ‘the one’

you of course stood back to allow Lisa a few moments with her son, smiling as you watched the encounter. Grayson was a momma’s boy and it was so comforting to see him in his element, happy and back where he belonged. he always thrived in jersey, and having you and his mother by his side, was his perfect sanctuary.

“you must be the famous y/n I've heard so much about. its lovely to meet you dear.”

after greeting Grayson, Lisa stood with open arms and a bright welcoming smile directed towards you. she pulled you in for a hug,  cheerfully greeting you as Grayson felt his heart burst at the sight of his favourite woman getting along. 

“its lovely to meet you, mrs dolan.” 

“please, call me Lisa!,” Lisa instsanly guided you into her home, leaving Grayson to bring in all your bags from the car as she Began giving you a guided tour of the place Grayson called home. it was even more beautiful than Grayson had described. you could see why he loved jersey so much and you already felt safer and happier being there. 

once Lisa had shown you around the kitchen, informing you to make yourself and home and help yourself to anything on diplay, Grayson had finished unpacking the car and joined your side once again. his hand lacing with yours as he peered down at you with a warm smile, his teeth gems glistening as he already feel in love with the sight of you being in jersey. 

you sat and ate a home cook dinner, vegan of course, as the three of you sat around the table and shared stories from Grayson and Ethan causing mischief as little boys, to your own family and upbringing. the conversation flowed as Lisa made you feel so welcome in her home, you had a good feeling she approved of your relationship.

Lisas eyes would often drift between you and Grayson laughing together when you thought she wasnt looking. her smile present as she witnessed first hand the love you two shared. one that reminded her of her and late husband when they were your age. 

[snowfalltxt]

About You <3

WC: 1,767

Ex!Beomgyu x gn!reader

Contents: Comfort, angst, fluff, rlly sweet tbh

Happy ending?

Inspired by: About You by The 1975.

I recommend to listen to that song whilst reading. Or listening then reading. And Beomgyu’s cover of Wonder too!

Tell me ur thoughts on this pls!

A/N: I tried so hard to fix the format but tumblr keeps making it weird... im so so so sorry for that, i wish i could fix it but :(

After your breakup, you tried desperately to forget about him. Nonetheless, you never prevailed. You tried tirelessly to try going on blind dates with other people, but it never worked out.

You scroll back through your memory, and reach a point when you were on a blind date with someone who hated your favourite food.

Absolutely a deal breaker.

Another one where the person who was dressed from head to toe in black with a straight-cut fringe, and dark, smokey eye makeup lead you into the woods at midnight on a full moon.

Now in hindsight, you've realised how stupid that was, but you were quite tipsy at the time, with your thoughts becoming hazy.

You laugh at those moments in your life, with no other lover being as caring, gentle, charming, and handsome as Beomgyu.

You laugh at those moments in your life, with no other lover being as caring, gentle, charming, and handsome as Beomgyu.

You laugh at those moments in your life, with no other lover being as caring, gentle, charming, and handsome as Beomgyu.

You laugh at those moments in your life, with no other lover being as caring, gentle, charming, and handsome as Beomgyu.

You laugh at those moments in your life, with no other lover being as caring, gentle, charming, and handsome as Beomgyu.

Gosh, the compliments can come pouring in and in. It was quite bittersweet. Even though you guys broke up because he had to move for his education since you weren't ready for a long-distance relationship, you still get quite frustrated with yourself.

Gosh, the compliments can come pouring in and in. It was quite bittersweet. Even though you guys broke up because he had to move for his education since you weren't ready for a long-distance relationship, you still get quite frustrated with yourself.

Gosh, the compliments can come pouring in and in. It was quite bittersweet. Even though you guys broke up because he had to move for his education since you weren't ready for a long-distance relationship, you still get quite frustrated with yourself.

Gosh, the compliments can come pouring in and in. It was quite bittersweet. Even though you guys broke up because he had to move for his education since you weren't ready for a long-distance relationship, you still get quite frustrated with yourself.

Gosh, the compliments can come pouring in and in. It was quite bittersweet. Even though you guys broke up because he had to move for his education since you weren't ready for a long-distance relationship, you still get quite frustrated with yourself.

Salty tears are on the verge of bursting out of your eyes as you desperately try to enclose them within your body. But a little teardrop rolls down your cheek and splatters onto the soft, warm sleeve of your beige hoodie.

At that point, you just released the dam of tears because there was no point in keeping them in.

You decide that you just wanted to have a cry and try to accept your ever-present feelings towards Beomgyu in hopes that you could move on.

So, you grab the innocently adorable bear that he gave you when he left the country with you and head off to your car.

The bear was holding a letter that said, "Dear Y/N, I know that you aren't ready for long distance, and that's fine.

I'll wait for you.

I always will.

In my mind, I always transport myself to the bridge where we always used to go when I want to remember your face.

When we cuddled under the hopeful, stars that lit up the dim night sky, it made me the happiest person alive.

Just being with you made me so happy.

I won't forget your face for as long as I live.

Every time I close my eyes, I'll think of your beautiful eyes staring back into mine as you sweetly smiled at me.

Not knowing that the end was near.

It pains me to even think of you crying because of me, so please don't love.

I know that I had to unfortunately leave, but I hope we can still be friends someday. Even if it is awkward.

Please don't forget me and the joyous moments we shared together.

Please don't.

Please."

Just to wallow in your self-pity and sadness even more, you read the whole letter 5 times and remember all the moments you had with him.

When you both kissed.

The times when you went to his house and met his family.

The times when he would smile goofily, whilst teasing yet somehow complimenting you at the same time.

The time when you cut and dyed his hair at your house, but failed miserably so he ended up having to go to the hairdresser and wait 4 months for his hair to grow back.

The times when you would be on the phone at night, not wanting to hang up first. You would fall asleep to his deep, saccharine voice.

The times when he would caress your soft, flushed cheeks and tell you that he loved you.

That he. 

Loved.

You.

He loved

you. [past tense].

As snot runs down your nose, and your face becomes swollen and red from having cried practically all the water in your body out, you grab a tissue and blow your nose as you check your reflection staring directly at you in the mirror.

You giggled a bit, thinking about how silly you looked, and imagined how he would react if he saw you crying this much over him when he explicitly requested for you not to.

For a second, it almost felt like he was there with you again, singing "Marry me, Juliet, you'll never be alone."

Fantasising about marrying each other one day in your heads, with white picket fences and a nice rose garden.

However, you were brought back to reality when you heard your Red TV CD move onto the next track in the car CD player.

An album for the heartbroken, truly.

You decide to put the brown bear in your passenger seat, safely buckling it up with the seatbelt because you treasured it so much.

You drive to the bridge underneath the star-lit night sky. The same one which you and Beomgyu used to go stargazing under.

The same one which you would kiss each other under.

The same one where you would tell each other about your problems and make each other forget them for a second.

Your hands become sweaty whilst using the steering wheel from nervousness. But you push through drive with your sunroof open and finally arrive at the bridge you both valued so much. It was so sentimental to you, and you would seriously cry if it ever got destroyed.

At least you would always have a part of Beomgyu with you, you thought to yourself as you squeezed the bear's hand three times.

You and Beomgyu always used to squeeze each other's hands 3 times to tell the other person that you loved them, and that it was all going to be okay.

As you opened the car door, you a pang of cold and refreshing air hit your face. The air smelt salty, and it also weirdly smelt like the fragrances Beomgyu would use.

Maybe you were just imagining it all too much.

With your arms resting on the old railing of the bridge, you lay your head into your arms, staring at the mesmerising fallen petals in the river under the bridge.

You take in the atmosphere and the sounds of people riding their bikes, the sound of cars zooming past, and the bright starlight shining emerging through the almost impervious incandescent lights of buildings.

As you turn to your right, you see a brown-haired boy with a gorgeous side profile with wired headphones.

Wait.

Was this?

Was this person?

Who you thought they were?

No way.

It's a dream, right?

Right?

You hesitantly creep over to check if it was who you thought they were; Beomgyu.

They caught you red-handed in the act and rapidly turned their face and met your eyes which were extremely red and puffy at that point.

Their eyes twitch and glistening teardrops roll out from their eyes as they automatically reach out to hug you.

It was just an innate response to Beomgyu at that point.

You were his home - his safe space.

You were so shocked and immediately crumbled to the floor, sobbing with your head between your cold knees as the bear lays next to you.

You wouldn't even dare look at Beomgyu.

No way you could.

No apologies you might muster could ever make it up to him. You believed that you not being ready for a long-distance relationship hurt both of you. You never wanted to hurt him at all, but fate just happened like that.

However, fate also clearly decided that you two were destined to be together, and connected the both of you again.

As you wept, crestfallen, Beomgyu knelt down in front of you and hugged you. Both of you crying from an amalgamation of overwhelming emotions to put it simply. You both sobbed for a good 5 minutes, not caring about what other people would think.

Nothing mattered at all as long as you had him back, as long as you were warmly embraced by him, as long as you were reconciling again.

Once you both had drained yourselves dry of tears, you lifted your head up to look into his entrancing, round brown eyes.

You both stared at each other intensely, eyes lighting up with passion and awkwardness for 30 seconds, not knowing what to say, with a million questions racing through your minds.

All you could think about was him.

He was the first to break the silence. "Hey," he started awkwardly, "I didn't think you would remember me after all these years. Seems like you have, and I see you've brought the bear I gave you along too. You know, I put my heart and soul into that letter, and I tried so hard not to sound overly sappy."

He chuckles gently, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

You, on the other hand, were grateful that he talked first, but also really confused.

You energetically questioned him, "Did you think I had forgotten about you? Seriously?"

You exhaled deeply, with your voice cracking spontaneously. He looked back at you curiously, as if he were egging you on to keep talking.

You decide to just let it all out, "All this time, I was wondering about all the what-ifs.

What if I did this or that differently?

What if I were more mature?

What if we met earlier?

What if I got accepted to the same school too?

What if you found someone else to replace me?

What if... you forgot about me?"

Tears start to form again. Seeing that, Beomgyu decides to lovingly hug you as you sadly sob into his fluffy, cozy, brown sweater.

It was a simple act, but you really appreciated the support.

He stayed silent, knowing that you were going to talk more but got cut off due to tears.

As the sleeves of his sweater absorbed your trickling tears, you solemnly said, "There was something about you that now I can't remember.

It's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender,

and I'll miss you on the train.

I'll miss you in the morning.

I never know what to think about.

So I think about... you.

I think about you so much that it seriously drives me crazy.

I always hoped that we would find our way back to each other in the end." 

After Beomgyu absorbs all the words you spewed out, he replies with, "Same here."

He tenderly kisses the top of your head as you guys continue to hug whilst swaying on the bridge, underneath the star-bejewelled night sky.

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

"fondness" LOL

When -- directly after Scary as a sleepy kitten. We're back to season 2, slowpokes. We had taken a brief trip to pre-season 9 for Still beating

Is there a picture of baby Carl at the end as a prize? -- yes, just as Dale describes it to you!

What -- Andrea and Dale thought you and Daryl were a thing? Lol. But like why are you so defensive about it? While also being defensive about the mangy hick, oh, this is confusing...

Perspective -- 2nd person (you)

Pronouns - nada

Who -- You, Andrea, Papa Dale, and Glenn. Daryl's sleeping, he's concussed and fell down a ridge twice with a bolt hole in him, he needs his rest.

How long is this one? -- shorter, about 10 minutes!

TWs -- a few cusses, and reference to Carol's spousal abuse

Reading assignments -- How's your head? Part 2, then souls stripped bare if you want more emotional context, as well as Invisible tugging strings Part 1 but especially -> Part 2 , then Spell your last name, please. , He hasn't been himself, and Scary as a sleepy kitten.

All that for reading assignments?? -- reading is healthy, y'all :P

Choose your fighter: The Full + Official Masterlist vs Chronological Slowpoke Chapters Only (reading them in publishing order as opposed to chronological order is recommended)

have fun and happy reading!

“Ah, the culprit behind Andrea’s little conclusion. How are you?”

Dale finishes matching a pair of socks as he responds with a quiet chuckle, “Just fine, I hope. I see now that the conclusion caused some…offense?”

“Don’t be silly, Mr. H, you meant nothin’ by it,” you play off, and start to help his sort through the pile of clean, dry socks.

“‘Meant nothing by it’ implying there was some offense taken.”

You tuck in your lip, and meant to return eye contact, but you’re still feeling strange about the whole mix-up. With the simple words, “nazi-bike,” you tell him what you consider a fair reason to have taken some offense.

---------------------

20 minutes ago

“Y/N, I didn’t realize,” Andrea says, slowly walking beside you.

“Realize what?”

“You two.”

“Me, too? What’d I do?” Is she talking about how you’ve got the medical wrap on your upper arm, maybe? “Do you mean this?” you question, looking down at your shoulder.

She peers at you, head tilted to the side.

“You and Daryl,” she softly clarifies. “It was Dale who wondered first, after you had to excuse yourself.”

Me and Daryl? “What’d we do?” Perhaps she's referring to the search today? Andrea isn’t one to not speak her mind, you wonder why she’s not being more succinct. She doesn't know about you having shot that guy. Dale has an idea, but he's tight-lipped about it.

“So, you and he…?” she trails off.

?

So, you start to fill her in about the search. “Before Daryl found the doll, we’d—”

—OH WAIT, now you get it!

---------------------

Once you figured it out, your hands were raised in innocence and you kept your voice lowwww. “Ain’t nothing romantic happened between us two.”

And you weren’t fully sure why you were going into defensive mode so hard, either, but there you went. “C’mon, Andy, there’s a fuckin’ nazi symbol on his drug dealing, motorcycle gang bike,” you’d grit, doing your best to play if cool regardless of how weirdly defensive you’d gotten.

Forcing a smile to cover up for that fact that you licked your teeth in annoyance, you finished up, “He’s my friend, but that right there would be a deal breaker off the bat for aught else. And besides, back at the quarry, we noticed he didn’t seem into people.”

“I’m not entirely sold on that. Maybe, it’s simply that he’s shy and careful and not a pig like his brother was.”

Andrea then had peered at you as if she could see something you couldn’t, which disturbed and annoyed and for some reason thrilled you even more.

You thought about it, and supposed that he did seem to blush that time Amy was headlighting after the first rainstorm at the camp. A squall had come out of nowhere. Last time she ever wore that shirt without a tank top underneath.

Anyway, Daryl had immediately turned his head away, in fact, as opposed to (Merle, obviously, but also) even Glenn, who’d frozen when he’d seen. Amy didn’t know who’d been gaping, but you’d been on the hunt for anyone objectifying your new friend, so had been darting your eyes around like a cat getting ready to pounce, and took inventory of every glance.

That Daryl turned his head so readily was the main reason you’d felt safe enough to ask if him if he’d teach you how to hunt, in all honesty…

“It was his brother’s bike, not his,” Andrea next stated, very like the way older siblings will talk down to younger ones. “Merle was the head, and the dealer. Would you want to be held accountable for what your brother does, his choices?”

That simple reminder made your bow your head, and you could hear your pulse begin to thrum in your ears. You wouldn’t want to be held to Shane’s choices and actions. You still couldn’t (can’t) wrap your head around the fact that he’d just flirted with Lori. And kept flirting after she’d clearly been alarmed by it.

“Something Merle once said made it sound like Daryl wasn’t a big part of the gang,” Andy went on.

However, you got even more defensive at what you were taking as insistence of Dale and Andrea’s little conclusion. “And? He still rode or, or at least hung with them. He still wears the cut sometimes.” 'Sometimes' meaning that spate of a few days when he was particularly sad about Merle...

“‘Cut?’” she repeated, then remembered, “Oh, I remember learning that from Sons of Anarchy, it’s the um, that’s the Boy Scout vest that bikers wear, right?”

Ha. You were cracking up despite yourself, that was funny. Boy Scout vest.

“As for the bike,” Andrea added mildly, “painting over that symbol isn’t on his radar. I mean, routine hygiene isn’t on his radar.”

Nope, you weren’t defensive at all. “…So he’s grimy and desensitized to a nazi symbol. It’s a match.”

With a tut very-like what your eldest sister would make, she stated, “I didn’t remember what the symbol on the bike stood for at first, and I'm a civil rights lawyer. I thought they were stylized lightning bolts.” You heard her breathe deeply as she rested her arms on the livestock fence. “The symbol, the one on Merle’s bike, what’s it mean again?”

“Shoots-stah-full.” You’re bad at pronouncing it and were feeling embarrassed, so spoke it shyly. “SS is easier to say.”

“They were the secret police?” she checked.

“The secret police was the gestapo, the SS were another sort of special branch. Über-jarheads, I guess.”

“See? I only really remembered the swastika as being a nazi symbol, until you and Dale were talking about the symbol on the bike. It’s not unreasonable to think some things in Daryl’s education were forgotten or missed, too.”

That was the point in the conversation when the private knowledge of him having gotten lost for 9 days, as a young child, and without anyone looking for him, slapped you in the metaphorical face.

Why did you react so strongly to her assumption in the first place? It’s not a big deal. You’d have probably assumed the same. Like, for goodness sake, you were the one who couldn’t keep the pet names for him from going on parade little over an hour ago. You'd cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead in relief that he was alive!

Either way, there was a (…sane?) inner battle in your head between being offended at Andrea and Dale’s conclusion versus being offended at your own negative reaction to it.

Bitch, he tossed the ‘hard stuff’ this morning, obviously he isn’t a user.

Still ran with the dealers, still was complacent and complicit with it all. And think about how cruelly he insulted you earlier today, how scary he was? You were expecting it to turn into his backhand. It’s something that was plainly done to him, you think he’s unlearned that yet? No, because you remembered how he grabbed you by your arm and dragged you back at the house until you cussed him out.

But then he apologized. Then, when you needed help, he carried you gently and made sure it wasn’t hurting you. You saw how careful he was being, and he isn’t good with touch.

Then he stole Mr. Greene’s horse instead of just asking like a normal person.

He also gave Carol that flower and told her the story to go with it, and meant it.

Before drinking about four beers last night and was hardly buzzed from it.

He carried, buried, and mourned that family of strangers with you today, he’s not some selfish deadbeat, Y/N!

Well, he chain smokes and drives a nazi bike!

And still almost died today three times to give the group—to give Carol—concrete proof that her baby girl’s been near.

Fine! Explain away the r-a-c-i-s-m.

That mangy hick saved Glenn’s life, he saved T-Dog’s life twice. He gave Jacqui extra root beer when she said she loved it, helped the Morales kids learn to throw a punch (and a kick). Y/N, he’s clearly doing some kind of weeding of the bad stuff in him and letting good things take their place, idiot, are you stu—

“Y/N. It wasn’t an attack on you, or a judgment. Amy told me how,” Andy paused to think of a good verb, “discerning you are when it comes to things like that. How strong your boundaries are. And how hesitant you’ve been to enter into a relationship for those reasons.”

She was diplomatic and tactful, you were grateful. You’d have just said ‘old-fashioned, kinda scared, comparatively prudish.’ Lol.

Crossing her arms as she walked, she then drove home, “Maybe I would have trusted your decision, if there was a ‘you two.’”

A slightly stammered “Okay,” was the best you could do right in terms of responding. Let’s be real, sentences aren’t your strong suit on a good day, never mind today.

Andrea stuck her hands into her belt loops and she ambled alongside the fence. You followed, looking out at the cows. One of them had twin calves.

“You gave him the benefit of the doubt before any of us,” she reminded you. “Are you backtracking?”

Your voice cracked when you tried to insist, “I ain’t backtracking on that, it’s j-just been a long day.”

“It’s been something else,” Andrea softly agreed. Her pace slowed a little and she placed her hand on your back as she continued toward the nearest cow field. “I saw Carol washing your stuff. Where’d the bloodstains come from?”

You shrugged. “My stitches ripped.” Ohh damn it, you said it out loud. “Wait, Andy, don’t—please don’t let Shane find out,” came out of your mouth in such a desperate tone of voice that you couldn’t not see a red flag.

“Oh, I won’t.” Andrea’s lips pursed, and she put a hand on her hip. “He’s been acting up.”

One word for it. You closed your eyes, and mumbled, “Thank you. He has been.”

“It doesn’t seem like you to hide stuff from him.”

Hide stuff? “No, it’s the…” After inwardly tugging the halyard to get that red flag down, you give up. Let it fly; you were hiding stuff from your brother, plain fact. Still are. For now, at least.

Andrea said nothing more about it. Again, you were grateful. You also felt stupid.

You stood there in silence for a few minutes, listening to the breeze, the mooing, the birds chirping, the cicadas buzzing.

Once the sun was halfway set, she lead the way back.

“At any rate, back to what we were discussing,” she relaxed her position and gave you something of a teasing smirk. “T-Dog is convinced Daryl’s a good guy, too, so what does that tell you?”

“That Teddy’s a saint,” you answered quietly, mouth twisting into an embarrassed grin. You may or may not sometimes remind her of what a catch you think T-Dog is combined with the fact that he’s single and in her age range. “Andy, where was all this goin’?”

“I have no idea, at first I thought I was being supportive,” she chuckled. “I guess: Daryl is proving to be a different man than we thought. And I’d say you know that better than anyone here.” She inhaled, then made a slight groan. “And, well, I did just shoot him, so maybe I’m biased.”

You held back a giggle. “So you’re tryin’ to set Daryl up to make amends?”

“Mmhm,” she sassed back. “Guess I’ll need a more willing victim.”

“Understood, let’s find Carol, she's half in love with him after today.”

“Perfect, let's get her. She’s probably hanging laundry,” was her initial sarcastic agreement. After a few steps in silence, she grew serious. “Carol needs to learn her worth before we can let a man near near her again. Especially one like Daryl.”

The first half of her statement sent you in for a hug. But the second sentence in her statement put you right back on defense and simultaneous offense. What came out of your mouth as you sought clarification, however, was unproductive. “Seriously?”

Per usual, Andrea remained unruffled. She held a hand up. “Based on what I know, your bar is high enough to do pull-ups on. Now, you’d help hoist someone up to your bar—and would kick off anyone who tried to lower it.” She gave you a pointed look. “Carol’s bar wasn’t only low, Y/N, it was taken down and used to beat her.”

The mental image struck right in the gut.

Blindly, you followed her past the grove of trees where Otis’ cairn lay, so offered a quick blessing in your head for him.

She turned back to look at you. “Do you understand where I was coming from, Y/N?”

You had to swallow some of the emotion down first. “I think so.”

“You and him, I’d be fine with, because your bar is set high and firm. It would imply good things about Daryl.”

After a sniff, you thanked her, that was a very generous compliment. And unfortunately, unable to not be a weirdo, you mumbled this dumb comment: “I can’t be hoistin’ nobody up until my darn shoulder is healed.”

----------------------

Now

“The motorcycle was Merle’s,” Dale lightly defends. Same response as Andrea, but with more of an understanding tone of voice. He was raised Jewish and lost family during the Holocaust, you know that.

Still, why didn't he react with more gusto, then? You hum and end up matching a sock somewhat aggressively. Which is not a sentence you’d ever have imagined thinking.

“Y/N, you can’t fault the man for accepting his dead brother's gas-friendly, easily repairable and reliable mode-of-transport that can go places bigger vehicles cannot. Him being able to go ahead and scope out the roads has been a boon. The emotional connection to the bike in itself would be understandable.”

“Yes, sir.”

He sighs. “My first thought was one of…how to describe it, uh, it was an...” he considers for a moment. “I suppose the best word is ‘confidence’ in Daryl’s character, if you had taken a shine to him.”

“‘Taken a shine to him?’”

“You know, a fondness for each other.”

“A 'fondness?'”

“Though I suppose the camaraderie that you two have is a commendation for him in itself,” he went on, eyeing you with something of an exasperated look. Good humored, though.

You scratch your nose. “I think we all have some kind of camaraderie or, y’know, a ‘shine’ with him after today.” It would be impossible not to. “To be fair, I couldn’t stop callin’ him pet names earlier. There’ve been a lot of up and downs we’ve gone through together the past few days, I’m not lookin’ too deep into it.” And you were merely so relieved that he was alive after getting grazed by that bullet, which is why you pressed your forehead to his and gave it a kiss.

“And he was injured, a circumstance which tends to encourage terms of endearment,” he kindly agreed. “Nothing wrong with that, kiddo. And there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that he’s not so bad.”

Nodding, Dale points his finger after matching another sock. “For me, what solidified it was when he found out that T-Dog had the blood infection.” He pressed his thumb and pointer finger together. “The man immediately gave us those antibiotics, as well as some painkillers.”

The recollection of that blessed relief trickled from your belly down to your toes and fingertips. And hearing that it had been done ‘immediately’ sent a tightness to your throat. You swallowed.

“However, it was before that, at the quarry, when I really started to trust that the, uh,” he raised his brows, then grinned briefly. “That the ‘first impression’ wasn’t accurate in several ways. One, I imagine you will remember, it was a few days prior to the supply run to the city. The last supply run, as it were.”

You nod. You’d been barred from going due to an uptick in getting migraines the previous two-ish weeks. Must’ve been the barometric pressure or something.

“Daryl had been looking for you, found fresh tracks close to the campsite, if I recall.”

Just then, Glenn walks over with his mouth full of something—oh snap, he’s got a container of honey wheat pretzels. Yay!

He plunks it in the middle of you and Dale and begins to help with the sock-sorting and laundry folding.

Like a starving Dickensian orphan, you zero in on the pretzels and quickly stuff a few too many into your mouth. Glenn finds this very funny, cracks up, and now you’re trying not to snarf as you desperately try to chew and swallow.

“I gave half my supper away,” you do your best to enunciate as you crunch.

“Glad you’re doing better after passing out earlier.”

You press a finger to your lips and subtly shake your head, just in case your brother would somehow overhear it.

“Anyway,” Dale gets back to it, with a handful of the pretzels for his own, “after I explained to him that you were indisposed, he seemed irked, wandered off. Some time later, however, he came back to me with a sports drink in his hand, asking if you’d left your tent yet. It seems that he intended the beverage to go to you.”

The memory kicks in and, mid-motion and mid-chew, you stop reaching to grab the mate to the sock in your hand. Another sensation spreads through your belly, a nice but nervous one. Your eyes flit up at Dale, who paused to take a drink from his water bottle.

“I hadn’t seen you or Amy leave your tent at that point, so let him know,” he narrated, capping his bottle again. “Except, on his way back to his and Merle’s spot, he slowed and crouched to look under the truck. Then, he held out the bottle.” Dale next makes a chuckle that probably qualifies as a ‘guffaw,’ it’s a proper old man belly-laugh. “And to my quite vocal alarm, a skinny, pale little arm popped out from underneath and took it!”

The name “Gollum?” is the unfortunately first thing that enters into your head and, yes, you say it out loud…but it’s cool, because Glenn happens to say at the same time, “Like Sméagol.”

“You’re such a nerd.”

“Look who’s talking, dork,” he pokes right back.

“My mind went to the two children hiding behind the Ghost of Christmas Present’s cloak, personally,” Dale muses, then continues the story. “Daryl wandered off on his way after that, but, naturally, I hopped down from the RV to see who on earth was under there." He lifts a shoulder. "I bend down to see who but our young Carl! The boy had already drunk half the bottle, said he felt much better for having done so. It seems he’d felt sick before and crawled under the truck to escape from the sun.”

Daryl gave your Carl a gatorade, too, and said not a word about it.

Good Moses, just when you thought you’d tamped down any notion of irrational affectionate feelings toward that mangy hick...

“With that, little Luis came dragging Miranda over with a cup of water—Miranda had been watching the boys while Lori was out foraging for mushrooms, Eliza must have been with Sophia and Carol.” Another sip from his water bottle. “Mmm. Those mushrooms were a treat,” he said mainly to himself. "Y/N, he found you later and gave you the beverage before you washed up, if I'm not mistaken? He came by with another bottle, I directed him to the quarry lake after seeing you head down with a wash bucket."

You nod. Was it obvious that you flushed when he told you the story?

Because you feel flushed, and that’s with the cool breeze outside this evening. You fold a shirt. Some undies. Match another pair of socks…then you figure you should say something, you’ve been too quiet and Dale is looking at you expectantly. “C-Carl does have a way of, uh, slippin’ out of sight.”

“Like a hobbit.”

“Just like a hobbit, Glenn, the boy coulda burgled us blind.”

Your friend remains mock-serious. “He still might.”

“He’s a tricksy one.” And with that, you take more pretzels. Maybe if you feed the butterflies in there, they’ll get tired and nap. Or, if you stuff enough into your belly, there won’t be enough room for them to fly.

“Hey, saw Shane’s setting up his own tent,” your friend mentions.

“Mm. Privacy will be nice.” You kept your face and voice nonchalant, except for maybe searching a little too intently for the matching sock that was plainly in front of yo—owww, you reached too far with your bad arm.

When you found out from Lori last night about the new baby and who the biological father potentially might could be, it’d felt like the seed of dread that had taken root in you however many months back, regarding Shane, had blossomed.

Now, after you caught him flirting with a very unreceptive and visibly shaken Lori, it feels like the plant shot up and was now pushing against your insides. It’s a wonder the irrational butterflies in your stomach even have room.

“That sound good, Y/N?”

“Huh?”

Glenn nudges you with the side of his foot. “Can you join?”

“Join what?”

“I told you, head was in the clouds,” Dale commented, kindly razzing you.

“Jimmy and I are playing board games later, we want you to come. Beth will be there, too. And maybe Maggie? I-I don’t know…” His cheeks turn purple-red. “Sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds real good. On the porch?”

“Yup.”

“Cool. I’ll be right in the house tonight, anyhow.”

“No way?”

“Way. Daryl needs overnight supervision, I think Carol might will be helping, too?”

Dale looks up from his lap. “Oh, did he enjoy the spam and eggs that she made for him?”

“Not sure, he was asleep last I knew.”

“Ah, that’s right, yes,” he remembered. “Well, maybe in that case she’ll have the pleasure of watching him eat and enjoy. I tell you, it smelled heavenly. She was very intent on making something special for him.”

The first half of what you said was totally innocuous, if maybe on the wishy-washy side.“Who could blame her? After today, she’s probably half in love with the guy.”

But then you followed it up with, “Who isn’t?” and you knew right then that you’d misspoken.

Dale’s made a point to keep his eyebrows level, as if that would help him hide his surprise and suppressed grin better.

But Glenn was under no such pretense, and your best friend dead-ass coughed his mouthful of pretzel.

“Dude—” you go to say.

He held up his hands after getting the pretzel bits off them. “I didn’t say anything.”

You held up yours, too. “I was bein’ objective.”

“Okay, Amy,” he said regarding your choice of word. Amy liked the word ‘objective.’

“Calling me that’s a compliment.”

“We are all objectively in love with Daryl?” he repeated. “Isn’t that a little…wait. Dude, are you saying you—”

“—It was hyperbole.”

“But you’re not, like, do you like him?”

“Now, Glenn,” Dale starts.

That surge of both self-defense that people would think you’d be into a grating racist or that one would be into you collided and was catalyzed with protectiveness against the poor man. That wonderful sumbitch has been on a solid redemption arc, let anybody try to deny it. “Define ‘like.’”

“Like like.”

“Bless your heart, no!” What is with people today? “However, I want you to think back over how he was when we done first met that mangy hick, to today, in terms of his behavior. Try and make like he ain’t grown. Don’t you love a good redemption arc?”

Glenn considered it. “Fair.”

The awful thought that Glenn might not believe you and might think less of you only worsens the mosh pit that is your stomach right now. “I’m gonna, um, g-go grab some of my stuff, bring it inside.”

“Wait, bumpkin, I wasn’t trying to, like—I meant it more as, um,” he can’t seem to get the wording right.

You’re making it worse, man. “Dude, it’s cool, you didn’t mean nothing by it.”

“But like—”

“—Glenn, I’ma start chargin’ a quarter for you using too many ‘likes’ per sentence.”

“Perfect, I’ll charge you for talking too hillbilly.”

Eh. You reckon admit you’ve been speaking a lot more twangy now than you had been at the quarry camp. There’d just been so many new people, you’d toned it down. Maybe being around more folk people who talk like you is why you’ve let it fly. “It’s a deal.”

“Good — you owe a quarter for saying ‘when we done first met’ Daryl,” he races to say.

“And you owe me one for how many likes you done sprinkled durin’ this here conversat—shoot! Did that count?”

“Yup.”

Dale, entertained by the looks of it, cuts in, “See, this is why I’ve been thinking that you two had a fondness for each other.”

“Aw, hear that, buttface?” you giggle, folding the last undershirt from the pile.

“Fondness.” He makes an exaggerated curious face and strokes what would be there if he had a mustache.

“You two expect me to believe there wasn’t fondness between you two?” Dale remarks with a bit of a tut thrown in.

“There still is, it’s just different now,” you insist. And immediately hop into gear to (gently) bust your friend’s balls. “Especially now that Glenny-boy here’s got his eye on a certain mystery lady.”

He’s right there with you. “And now that Y/N’s apparently hopelessly in love with Daryl.”

“There’s such fondness,” you barely manage to say without laughing, as much as it makes your newly stitched abdomen ache.

Dale sighs and throws back a gulp of his water as if it were something stronger. “Glenn, just tread lightly with the certain mystery lady, is all I ask. And Y/N, kiddo,” he looks at you. And winks? “I trust you completely with Daryl.”

“What?” Glenn protests, to which you just slap your leg and snicker “Ha!”

“If between you, there ever was a…” Dale pauses long enough for you to see the twinkle in his eye. “Fondness.”

----------------------

----------------------

And here's the picture from Dale's memory

------------------------

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