Tagged by @the-stars-descend <333 Thank you, queen! Been a hot minute since I've done one of these.
the picrew
Last song: I was really bopping to "Wake Me Up When September Ends" this week. Angsty classic.
Favourite colour: Most shades of green, and gold.
Currently watching: The Great, season three.
Last movie: Oppenheimer. (Super impactful and important, but gah, Nolan could definitely have shortened it by an hour! I came out of it with a splitting headache.)
Currently reading: De Profundis, by Oscar Wilde, and The Guinevere Deception, by Kiersten White. Enjoying both!
Sweet/spicy/savoury: All three! But I learn towards spicy/savory these days because I'm trying to cut down on sugar (the woes of adulthood).
Relationship status: Trying to recover from massive heartbreak at the moment, but still putting myself out there... although everyone seems terrible
Current obsession: African food. I just had Nigerian food for the first time and it was just amazing. I've already had Ethiopian. (<3) Now I want to try Ghanaian!
Last thing I googled: "Escape rooms near me", for planning my dad's birthday.
Currently working on: Mental health, getting through my tbr list, and trying to scrap together a social life ;)
I tag: @thethoughtsofafangirl, @safin aka @midnightsvns, @mafitheedwardhoe, @strangewomanlover, my friend dina because she forgot her tumblr login, @volturisecretary if she's still here and kickin', @masochisticlion, @cockmcstuffins, @titheinironside, and @twilight-good-yall-dumb
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Close For Discomfort
A Knightfall Parody
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Jaune: (In bed, Stretches) Morning, babe~.
Cinder: (Yawns) Morning, blue eyes~.
Salem: (Nude) Speaking of blue eyes, I'm making blueberry pancakes! Y'all want any?
Jaune: AGH! Grandma! For Brother's sakes, put on some clothes! Please!
Salem: Clothes ruin my morning flow! You know that! Now, you want blueberry or chocolate chip? (Walking away) Because spoiler alert, the chocolate chips are HELLA PACKED with THC!
Jaune: ...
Cinder: We need to move out.
Jaune: What?!
Cinder: NOW!
Jaune: Wh- I- B- Cindy, we've got free room and board, a literal castle with protection from Grimm attacks and... all the pancakes we could ever want~!
Cinder: Wonderful, but do you have any idea how obnoxious your grandmother has gotten since we started dating? THREE YEARS AGO?
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Cinder: (Doing laundry, Rolls eyes at Salem's "Death To All Faunus" shirt)
Cinder: (Turns over, Sees "And Humans, Too") Oh... That's... better?
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Cinder: And then there was my birthday last month.
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Everyone: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOU~!
Ruby: Happy birthday, Cinder~!
Cinder: Thank you, Re- Er, Ruby.
Salem: Time for presents~! (Hands over gift) Here you go, Cindy~!
Cinder: (Flatly) Oh, good, I wonder what this is- Oh, look, it's a crotchless panties and a nippleless bra. Who would've guessed?
Jaune: Hey, I remember those! I wonder if mine still fit...
Cinder: ...
Ruby: ...
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Cinder: And that's NOTHING compared to the bullshit she pulled last week!
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Cinder: (On Jaune, Drags fingers down chest)
Jaune: (Saucily chuckles, Rubs arm)
Cinder: (Leans down, Stops) Is that a fucking camera?!
Salem: (Distant) STOP BREAKING THE SCENE!
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Jaune: (Holding "Grimm Pictures Presents: Fallen Knights of Passion " CD) In her defense, the production value on this was... incredible~!
Cinder: (Takes CD, Melts it)
Jaune: AW~! I was really good in that one...
Cinder: Yes, you were. Not the point!
Jaune: Mm... I'm not sure how we'd move in the first place. Can't exactly just buy a house as "enemies of humanity".
Cinder: Well, who's to say we have to buy or rent anything? I'm sure we could easily steal a house on the shore.
Jaune: Cinder! You promised!
Cinder: I'm kidding! I'm kidding! ...Mostly.
Jaune: What about Ruby? I'm sure she could vouch for us now that Salem's gone straight.
Cinder: We could... but I don't think she'd be interested in anything I have to say...
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Ruby: Cinder, what the fuck?!
Cinder: (Via scroll) You asked, I delivered.
Ruby: I asked for Sonic merch for my birthday, not for you to kidnap another Sonic character!
Big: I'm Big~!
Ruby: He's Big! ...Wait, is that your name?
Big: Yuh-huh~!
Cinder: Well, I'm glad you're enjoying him~.
Ruby: STOP DROPPING FURRIES ON MY DOORSTEP!
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Jaune: Hm... Well, we could always ask for a trial by combat. I'm already good friends with most huntsmen, so all I'd have to do is ask for the next availability. Not to mention they also pay huge, and we're probably going to win anyways because the only people who could beat either of us that aren't our friends are dead! Oh, I made myself feel bad.
Cinder: And this "next availability" would be when?
Jaune: Let's see, according to the schedule, it is... SIX YEARS?!
Cinder: Fuck that! You need a job!
Jaune: Also gonna be hard since I'm blacklisted as a huntsman and my resume aside from that is just... kid who's related to the woman who tried to wipe out humanity.
Cinder: I don't have a formal education, either. The only thing I learned growing up was the best ways to kill a woman and how to scrub week-old cum off decades-old wood.
Salem: (Pops in) Oh, now that takes me back~...
Cinder: (Hurls fireball) EAT SHIT, YOU OLD HAG!
Salem: (Walks downstairs) Oh, you know I was talking about dick...
Cinder: ...GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
Jaune: Okay, okay! Uh... We could do manual labor! I've been training to fight the Grimm since I was a teenager, so I can still do other work that requires muscle! We could probably build our own house and a whole neighborhood in, like, a week!
Cinder: I... I don't think I could be doing any physical labor.
Jaune: Why not? You pick ME up and toss me into bed real easy when you're feeling frisky. (Come hithers)
Cinder: (Sighs) That's not what I mean.
Jaune: I know, but I mean... I think you'd be great at it! You're smart, you're driven, you're WAY stronger than me without your maiden powers, and you're-
Cinder: PREGNANT~!
Jaune: ...Wha?
Cinder: And, yeah, I know I can still work, but I think it's really awkward to tell your boss, "Hey, I know I just started, but I'm going to need maternity leave really soon!" It just seems like a clusterfu-
Jaune: (Grabs her) You're pregnant?!
Cinder: Yeah... It's why I didn't ask for any chocolate chips.
Jaune: How... How long?
Cinder: Pregnant? About a month, but I only found out a few days ago! I didn't know how to tell you. We have something good already and everything just sort of happened and I have no idea what happens next or even if you want to-
Jaune: Cinder! (Takes her hands) You... You have made me the happiest man in the entire world. No one has ever made me feel this happy before, except you, and you somehow just keep making me happier.
Cinder: (Eyes watering)
Jaune: I... I love you. And I love our baby.
Cinder: (Hugs him) I love you, too~!
Salem: (Leaning against the wall) So, how much longer until your belly gets bigger? It's been a few centuries since my time, so I'm not sure what the standard is now. And I'd like to know before the next video.
Cinder: If our baby is a girl and we're not out of this house by the time she hits puberty, I WILL murder Salem!
Salem: Tch! Good luck! (Slurps pancake)
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