#their designs change every time i drew them

[starrysharks]

YAOI! (warabi when he stubs its toe)

[goldenspecks]

decide to make actual refs for both of my ancient ocs; Four Jewels, Fleeting Notes and A Golden Crown, Six Silver Coins

[meringuejellyfish]

ooooh the curse <- he wants to draw fanart its not that serious but ohhh the curse

[arocoomer]

Nobody requested this, the glasses on the outfit just made me think of Marty

Outfit from this

[terrariumtown]

trying to remember how to draw my ocs rn so I can get out at least ONE disability pride drawing by tmorow

[catgirlkirigiri]

I need to stop caring about minor aj alphas because I SUCK at feral outfit design and I have to give them all clothes….

[hannieehaee]

raindrops (an angel cried) (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: being assigned watching duties over humans was usually a task reserved for high level angels. on jeonghan's first week of promotion, he finds himself far too curious about licentious human activities, becoming infatuated with his assigned human. what happens when his interest goes too far, it gets him kicked out of heaven?

content: fallenangel!jeonghan, jeonghan is your guardian angel up until he gets kicked out of heaven oops, infatuation, inexperienced jeonghan, even as an angel he's still a menace to all, heaven is super strict, afab reader, smut, oral (m receiving), mentions of masturbation, penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 936 (teaser); 11.1k (full fic)

release date: may 17th

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: angel!jeonghan was a must so here it is

masterlist | kofi/patreon

support me through a one time tip<3

"Who is that?", asked Jeonghan, apprehension in his eyes.

"That's your human."

"My human? I'm getting a promotion?"

"Listen, Jeonghan. I had to call in a lot of favors to get the higher ups to let you get this promotion. You better follow the rules to the letter. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Kwannie, I know," he rolled his eyes, "Why do you have so little trust in me?"

"I'm serious, Jeonghan. If you keep messing up, you might get kicked out of heaven. Do you really want to be down there with the humans? Being a mortal?"

Jeonghan couldn't help but think the idea sounded enticing.

He hadn't had too much exposure to humans thus far, but he had always had great interest in them. They just sounded so free and different from one another, unlike in heaven, where specific behavior was to be expected from every working angel.

Within heaven, you were either born as an elite sort of angel, – with all their angelic duties assigned – or you were born human and then admitted into heaven as an angel, getting to enjoy eternal happiness with your loved ones. Jeonghan, sadly, was the former. Having been born into an angel position, it meant that although his life was not miserable by any means, it was just a closed box of responsibilities to fulfill until the end of eternity. He truly envied all the humans-turned-angels in heaven, often asking them about their memories as humans and trying to live vicariously through them.

Due to his constant curiosity of humans, Jeonghan often got in trouble as he stuck his nose in places it shouldn't be. As an angelic being, Jeonghan's duties as an angel were mostly clerical, managing which human each angel would be assigned to as a guardian angel. Ever since being born as an angelic entity, Jeonghan's dream had been to be promoted into a guardian angel position. In his current job, the most interaction with humans he ever got was the ability to see a quick overview of their timelines in order to assess which guardian angel would be the best fit for them. His job was comfortable and stable, never causing him any trouble. But he wanted more. He wanted to be down there, on the playing field as he watched over his own human.

So he would cheat occasionally, maybe snooping into human's lives for more than he was allowed to. Sometimes he'd pause on certain bits that drew a little curiosity and simply observe. He'd also on occasion tried to make his way down to Earth, only to check things out on his own. All his attempts were always met with reprimands from his higher ups, claiming that a soul as curious as his own should not be near humans. The existence of angels was meant to stay a myth, after all.

When Seungkwan took him into one of the offices designated for guardian angels, Jeonghan had been shocked. He had been banned from being brought here a few years back, so it was a very well appreciated change of pace for him. What was even more shocking, however, was when Seungkwan led him into one of the sphere rooms, which contained a view of any and every human in existence in real time. The most shocking thing, though? The pretty girl reflecting on the globe, very deep in slumber as Seungkwan revealed Jeonghan's promotion.

"Her old guardian angel retired. Chose to move to the land of humans-turned-angels. Angel Jihoon was simply going to ask you to assign her a new angel, but I put in a good word for you, so he gave you the job. Don't fuck it up, Jeonghan. Do you understand?", his friend was quite stern as he warned him.

"Big words for an angel."

"Don't go puritanical on me, Jeonghan. Your behavior in Heaven doesn't matter. It's when you meddle with humans that you'll get in trouble. Just ... Please follow the rules and don't step out of line."

Seungkwan was right. From all the accounts he heard from angels who had died and gone to heaven, Heaven and Earth were quite similar. People held jobs, lived a day to day life, had relationships. There were a few stark differences, though. There was no suffering in Heaven – no illness, no tiredness, no debilitating feelings. Sure, frustration and annoyance were a thing (God knew Jeonghan had felt those things), but it was virtually impossible to be truly unhappy in Heaven.

Jeonghan had no problem with Heaven, he was just far too curious about humans to stay still and do nothing. He was not allowed to admit it, but he had always wanted to know what it'd be like to be human. To live through pain, struggle, confusion. He just wanted to experience it all.

Angels had no needs in heaven. Hunger didn't exist, neither did aging or an itch to do or feel things humans usually engaged in. For instance, while Jeonghan had heard of sex and romantic relationships, this was something that angels did not have the innate desire to feel, as they were born fulfilled in every sense. Human-born angels, however, brought their humanly experiences and emotions along with them to heaven, sometimes telling tales of such things, always drawing Jeonghan's curiosity to new heights.

Looking at you through the sphere, Jeonghan felt excitement at thinking of what humanly emotions you may be feeling. He also felt giddy at knowing that you would one day come to pass onto his heavenly realm, where he would meet you after having known you for the entirety of your lifetime.

...

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[chaoticladyfire]

Things I screamed about in ATSV (spoilers)

-Got to rewatch the film so I’m just going to add the colours changing to warmer tones when Gwen hugs her father. Not even ten minutes in and I was already crying.

-Realised that we missed the Gwen-Vulture fight BUT got to see Jessica Drew enter the scene like a bad ass in her bad ass bike and hearing the audience collectively say ‘me too’ when Gwen asked if Jessica could adopt her. 

-Screaming OSCAR ISAAC when Miguel spoke

-Lyla. Just Lyla.

- ‘Do you say anything other than no?’ ‘No-YES!’ more of miguel and jessica pls

-The Spot’s introduction. I didn’t see any promotional stuff, teasers or even trailers before watching this film so I had no idea who or what the The Spot was which was great because he really went from villain of the week to villain of the movie. And they clearly had a great time choreographing the fight scenes with him

-Miles’ heating up the beef patty while the spot and the convenience store man argue

-Miles patting the spot’s with a ‘good cow’ text

-Gwen and Miles both having to deepen their voices to avoid being recognised by their respective cop dads

-Miles saying that he can get two cakes when the counsellor says you can’t have your cake and eat it too and then bringing two cakes for his father’s party and neither of them saying what he wanted to convey. 

-Rio and Jeff scolding an annoyed miles but instantly smiling when a relative hugs them what an universal experience 

-Gwen teasing Miles for drawing her in his notebook almost obsessively but also breaking the biggest rule to spend time with him knowing the consequences. 

-As they went to talk, my friend leaned over and said ‘yeah I bet they will talk’ and when they only talked he groaned very loudly at which point I had to remind him Miles was only 15 

-Watching Jeff talk to Spiderman about his son not knowing his son is spiderman

-The DJ increasing the volume when Miles’ parents started scolding him in the middle of the party (the real mvp of the movie actually) 

-JK Simmons cameo that no one seems to be talking about??? Embarrassingly enough I had to literally scream into my friend’s ear for most of the people to realise it was indeed JK Simmons

-Just the entire Mumbattan scene. It was so exciting to see my city be represented like that, still a bit cliched in my opinion but not like Slumdog so obviously they have updated their views. Everything from the traffic gag to Pav’s rant about chai tea had the theatre howling. Also the detail of the thought boxes (?) and sounds being written in Hindi 

-Screaming DANIEL KALUUYA

-My friend and I are huge fans of the UK punk scene (her for the ideologies and myself for the music and fashion) so Hobie was a dream come true. He was already super cool with his guitar and mohawk costume but when he revealed his face it was just so amazing

-Gayatri is every indian’s dream girl with her modern shirt-flannel and jeans combo mixed with bangles and piercings I really wish we get to see more of her in the next movie. Anyway there was a lot of wolf-whistling and hooting for her and Pav

-Also Pavitr literally means pure I don’t know if they did that on purpose or not but I love it

-His pet name being Pav cured my soul

-’This is the most emotional I have seen him’ and Captain Singh has no emotions at all

-I want to see how they came up with so many spider designs because each was so unique and immediately endearing. My friend who is also a big dinosaur fan screamed DINOSAUR 

-Kind of obsessed with how detailed Ben Reilly’s arms are they did not need to go that hard with it

-Tom Holland’s Spider-Man being referred to as ‘the little nerd’ by Miguel

-When everyone was making puns about the Spot my friend leaned over and said ‘i wonder which hole the spot prefers’ it is a miracle we are still friends actually

-The Donald Grover cameo!!!

-Peter B Parker having a cute little baby with the love of his life is what he deserves

-Miguel O Hara is one step away from becoming a Batman-Spiderman 

-Hobie’s admiration for Mayday being the avatar of chaos Spider-baby

-Screaming ANDY SAMBERG

-I think they saw the appreciation for the art style in the previous film and then trebled it for this film and I cannot thank them enough for it

-Peter complaining about how Miguel breaks the Spiderman tradition of being funny and witty and Miguel being the first anomaly 

-Every scene with the Spot is very unnerving because as I said, you watch him transform from this joker to a literal void of vengeance and it is every bit of terrifying

-Miguel is a man suffering from the destruction of an entire universe because of his selfish actions and forcing that anomaly narrative on a fifteen year old boy who became a spiderman on accident and doesn’t want his father to die because of that. Unlike the Spot, who isn’t even human anymore, Miguel is drowning in grief and guilt and trying to ignore it by holding the weight of the spider-verse on his shoulder. I hated him so much for making a boy go through that but then I just couldn’t in the end. 

-Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire cameo!!! Hopefully we’ll get a fun Tom Holland one too in the next movie.

-’Let me guess, he died?’ being a therapist for Spider Men must be a fairly boring job after a few patients.

-I just loved the absolute of wrongness of the scene where Miles returns ‘home’. The rain and darkness. I didn’t really think about Rio asking Miles what happened to his hair because I thought she was referring to the rain (although of course she wouldn’t ask him why his hair was wet when it was obviously raining outside) but realised something was wrong when he didn’t know about comic con but she did because in the first film there’s a joke about Peter B Parker explaining the concept to Miles. 

- This movie is not good for my father related issues

-The glaring neon welcome sign when the gang end up in Earth 42

-How did Uncle Aaron get even scarier? 

-Miles being the Prowler is honestly a great twist I saw it coming but still felt the shock of the reveal

-Prowler Miles having an accented voice meaning his father probably died when he was young and he only had his mom growing up

-Can’t wait for the original spider team to return for the third film seeing as they brought back Spider-Man Noir and Spider Ham and Peni Parker

-Screaming WHAT when the ‘to be continued’ appeared because that cliffhanger is absolutely destructive. All that adrenaline and excitement just popped. I’m still oscillating between being impressed and being disappointed. 

I probably skipped over a lot of other scenes because these were the most memorable and I only watched the film once (unfortunate) but I can’t wait for the movie to hit streaming services and watch it again and again for all the other details I missed. Ill probably keep adding things as I remember

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

okay okay rapid fire spider-verse thots fresh out of the theater, trying to minimize spoilers but jesus

da Vinci-looking Vulture... very cool

the art on Gwen's earth in general is SO cool

in general the animators were just SHAMELESSLY showing off with this one and it rules so hard

Rio Morales animated milf of all time

truly do not understand what all of you see in Miguel tbh that man suuuuuucks!! kill!!

Peter B is also on my shit list tbh. Gwen going along with this is understandable, she's literally a homeless teenager in a bad position to fight against adult spiders making decisions, but Peter... come on dude...

truly they HAD to leave Pav out of the middle of the movie because he would have sided with Miles (you think he would want Inspector Singh to die!! fuck no!!) and he's perfect so he would have just effortlessly swept the floor with every other spider-person

Gwen is flirtatiously trans coded and responds to Spider-Man at least once, congrats to her on the fun gender

Jessica's design is so cool but they made her such a cop... god I hope she's coming around in the next movie

cannot wait to see gifs of this movie slowing down every frame to point out every individual background spider-person

the fucking. the family of it all. Miles' parents afraid to let him grow up and Gwen's dad unable to accept the truth about his daughter and Miguel trying to raise a daughter who wasn't supposed to be his and Peter B's baby girl and Jessica Drew's visible baby bump and the spiders' collective miserable certainty that they are DEFINED by the trauma of losing someone they love.

something something Miles' parents and the spider society have the same problem - being afraid of change from what they thought was The Right Way To Do Things - but Miles' parents love and trust him to make the right choices beyond their understanding while Miguel and the other spiders are too hurt by their own traumas to imagine someone else thriving without it

also fuck all of them the boy's uncle died in front of him after trying to kill him HAS HE NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH

Hobie's soooo annoying (affectionate) but also right about, like, literally everything AND good with babies to boot

the whole ending is so ‼️‼️‼️‼️

the thing with Miles and Uncle Aaron at the end... you know the thing... DELICIOUS au right there tell me everything about that shit

the fucking end man

I've NEVER been in a theater where everyone collectively screamed @ the end of a movie fuck fuck fuck. there's cliffhangers and then there's THIS

[elaemae]

The premium version of human is here to wreak house, mfs.

Twst x Obey me!AFAB!reader

(Reader is Ob's MC)

CW:

•NO APPEARANCE SPECIFIED FOR READER.

•Poly.

•Cursing.

•Reader is referred to as "you" or they/them and even "he/him" because NRC boys refer to any living humanoid in the school as a male by default.

•Crowley.

•It's my first time writing a fanfiction, pls tell me if I should continue writing this.

(Random pic go brr—)

What will happen when a perpetually hungry-for-cuddles and tired-of-this-shit hooman gets kidnapped by a motherfucking horse and decides (kinda? Yeah nope. This wasn't by choice.) to enroll in a school full of problematic kids and their irresponsible af headmage?

Chaos. Pure and utter chaos with a lot of high-end simping in the mix (Along with the slightly unhinged urge to commit arson and burn a bitch to crisp)

So read as [y/n] tries to run away from the school-life while trying to just get back to their goddamn harem family (God saw this thought and decided that giving y/n more harem members is the appropriate course of action), all while juggling the harsh responsibilities of being a guardian, babysitter, therapist, healer, protector, local crush and celebrity for poor Yuu and the entirety of NRC.

("Pls send help" — y/n)

• • • • •

Disclaimer: You may have been kidnapped to a whole 'nother world and you may be on the verge of a mental breakdown, but you're sure as hell gonna look hot and serve cunt while you go through all your problems.

Prologue: 1

IMPORTANT: Mc will be referred to as they/them in this story, but in these beginning chapters a lot of people will refer to mc as a dude because y'know; NRC is an ALL BOYS school and nrc students came to expect that those in the school are all boys.(this'll change dw)

In order to avoid confusion, every time that the MC is addressed by others as he/him or more; I will color it blue. why blue? I find it easier to read.

Sample; 'He turned to them.'

The "He" in this passage is referring to MC because the character referring to them thinks that they're a guy.

REMINDER: This is Fanfiction! Not everything will be the same as canon because of this thing called the 'butterfly effect'.

• • • •

The Dorm Leaders + lilia were just about to call this Opening Ceremony over.

So close to getting out of this hall and finally being able to go on their merry ways to escort the new students back to their respective dorms before the hectic-ness of preparing for hours starts to catch up to them.

Though, things are never quite that easy in NRC.

A commotion with the students quite far from them leaves the majority of them annoyed/disgruntled. (Kalim is just confused and curious)

The headmaster rushes to check what was wrong only for a student to point out that there is an unopened coffin floating in a shadowy part of the hall.

Armed with the desire to get this shit over with and to avoid embarrassment from missing a coffin when he was going around opening them and also, with Yuu waiting near the mirror, the headmaster opens the coffin to wake the new student inside.

The dorm leaders walked closer to be able to quickly usher the new student to the dark mirror only to notice that the headmaster froze up.

"...Headmaster? Are you alright?" Azul "Boutta-do-sumthin-devious" Ashengrotto asked with faux concern.

"Ah– Ah yes! I'm alright Mr. Ashengrotto."

Crowley the bitch cleared his throat and reached inside the coffin to wake the student up.

"Hmm..."

The dorm leaders subconsciously or not, peaked inside the coffin before getting gobsmacked by the sleeping student.

Sure, the student looked quite cute ("New potential apple locked in" — Vil.) even with half of his face obstructed but what really drew their attention were the jewelries that he was wearing.

Three luxurious looking earrings on each of his ears, all unique from each other, all with a respective color and design except for that one earring with two gemstones engraved in it, orange and indigo. Seven gems, six earrings

An ornament on his forehead that looks to be a combination of a circlet and a Ferronnière made from gold, with intricate black bat-like wings surrounding the red gemstone in the middle.

And that's just the jewelry on his head.

There's also the sleek black choker with a golden sheen on his neck with a teal gemstone surrounded by small diamonds hanging in the middle.

They don't know if this guy has anymore but the jewels they can see for now is more than enough for them to make the deduction that this student has some alot of money on his hands.

No wonder the Headmaster froze up.

Azul subconsciously starts fixing up his appearance when he starts to wake up, wanting to make a good impression on a potential, rich victim client.

• • • •

"Mmh... What the hell.. Why is the bed so hard.."

You mumbled as you stirred, feeling someone lightly shaking you awake.

You opened your eyes, expecting maybe the brothers, solomon, dia, barbs, simeon or luke but you were instead met with a face obscured by a dark bird mask.

"..."

"..."

"You have two seconds to unhand me before you lose your hands." or your life. Depends on who I can summon first.

You made your voice as cold and unwelcoming as possible as the man with the bird mask squawked and backed away a bit in shock.

"H– How rude..! I'll have you know that I was only–"

"Where am I?"

You cut off the weird looking bird-man as you scanned your surroundings and moved to come out of the coffin why were you in a coffin? you were in, in fear of it closing and locking you inside.

You glance warily to the bird-man while keeping an eye on the huge number of robed individuals that you can see. are you in a cult? Damnit, did one of the Brothers' crazy cults decide to kidnap you out of jealousy again??

Especially the seven (reminder that lilia is there with the Housewardens) closest to you and bird-dude.

Some solomon-kinnie motherfucker is currently eyeing you down like he's about to sell your kidneys to the black market or something.. Hmm... Your fight or flight instincts are telling you to sell HIS kidneys instead.

*Ehem*

Burd-dude cleared his throat and addresses you.

"It seems that the teleportation magic has left you disoriented... No matter, I can forgive your offense of trying to threaten me for I am gracious!"

He then looked weirdly like a combination of preening peacock and a proud chicken.

"I repeat. Where in the unholy trinity of the three realms, am I?"

Now that raised a few eyebrows.

You feel for the necklace under your clothes that Thirteen gave you, filing the question of why you're also wearing the same robe as these people away, in your head.

While the guy that you now dub-thee as "bird-bitch" started gawking at you and going on a tangent of being disrespectful, you scan the big hall/room you're in looking for ways to escape.

• • • •

Hmm... This new student seems to be a knowledgeable individual.

Lilia kept his gaze on the student, studying how he took on a defensive stance the moment he got out of the coffin.

They need to calm this student quickly before something happens.

The student seems to be confused on why he's here and is looking for a way to get out.

If the way his eyes moved around the room in quick succession is any indicator.

Not the first time that something like this happens but add in the magicless student's appearance, he gets the feeling that something strange will happen once again.

Seeing him take out and grasp the palm-sized gemstone of a whole 'nother necklace hidden under his robe how many trinkets does this boy have??, Lilia got ready to jump in the fray should something happen.

There's a possibility that the student can use that necklace as a weapon if that was what he chose to hold in this situation and not his other shiny ornaments.

Lilia was proven right when the necklace and the gemstone glowed and formed into a fancy-looking staff that the student quickly pointed towards Crowley.

He looked at the dorm leaders around him to see if any of them will do something.

...

yeah no. If anything, they look like they're watching an amusing show. Especially Schoenheit and Kingscholar..

Though it seems more like Riddle is still assessing the situation before he brings out his infamous collar.

Haahh.. Youngsters these days..

Chapter list | → PROLOGUE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Elae: Sorry if my grammar is off, English isn't my first language.

Btw, Thanks for reading this far! Hope you enjoyed it😊

Srry if my format is also off, I've only been using tumblr for a few days now...

MOST IMPORTANTLY; Should I continue reading this fanfic? I wanna know if people still read Obey mexTwst stories here...

[nexusnyx]

oh, to be alone with you

Joel Miller x OC!Reader [8.9k] SUMMARY: Never in his wildest thoughts did Joel think he'd end up having a life, after all. His mind had sort of stopped at thirty-six, then geared back into reality, twenty years later when he gained a second chance. Now... this seemed like a third. Joel saw the feelings in your eyes, and he took a chance, hoping to be choosing right for everybody this time.

— A/n 📝This was a commission made by the lovely and (very patient) Grace, and I hope they enjoy the most out of everyone ;) Reblogs and comments make all the difference. — Warnings⚠️ mature content—explicit depictions of sex, so minors DNI. | 🏷️ age gap, slow burn, mentions of suicidal thoughts, angst, mutual pining, resolved sexual tension, insecure!Joel, protective!Reader, unprotected sex, dirty talking, soft!Dom!Joel, praising, edging, cum play, uhm. filth? lol. you're welcome.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤmasterlist | read on ao3

In the three years he knew you, Joel never heard you sound like this.

"Don't you ever say that again. Don't you ever talk that kind of bullshit in my presence, Joel."

There was bass to your voice when you threatened him. Fire in your cheeks. A glint so bright and wide washing in the shore of your eyes that it clicked for him. Joel realized what he'd been ignoring for the past three years — a time he spent dancing around the dark hunger he carved in his bones for you — he saw, for the first time as clear as water, that you meant those smiles. The sweetness. The honey stick way your hand touched his skin, sometimes, and the traces it left behind.

As you defended him from his own words, Joel saw he was not only old, but also goddamn stupid.

The first thing was set in stone. The second, on the other hand, he could try to change.

He meets her in Jacksonville, after fucking everything up with Ellie.

They had just arrived, both of them. Drenched in regret, numerous traumatizing events all muddled together, as that thick air of uncertainty surrounded their relationship. Joel thanked his brother and Maria for welcoming them back. Ellie spoke so little the first day that even Maria, someone who barely knew her, tried prying information out of her.

But it'd been quickly forgotten. One moment, Ellie and Joel were in a nameless hospital surrounded by fireflies, and a month later, they were settled into a nice house in the commune.

As if nothing had changed.

Everything had changed.

And there, in Jacksonville, there's you.

One of the only two doctors in town, the other being your very own old man.

All he remembered from the day he met you was your smile. Those beautiful cheeks painted cherry red, the wrinkles in the corner of your eyes, and how round and big they seemed to him as you said, "Hi. It's nice to meet you, Joel. 'm Grace."

You were. Joel had said something back. Ran away from there as soon as he could, but he played that smile every hour for the next three days before he caved in and came back to see you again.

Little did Joel know how much of a grace you'd become.

You were the only person who knew about Ellie.

Being the one who tattooed her on the second week after she arrived, Joel and Ellie decided together that at least one of the only two doctors should know about her condition, and so she told you.

Whatever Joel had expected from you, your reaction was as further from it as it could be. Nonchalance, and a sad grin. A placating nod as you told him, "you can wait here, I'll examine Ellie thoroughly and then we'll get started on the tattoo; I'll call you inside then, 'kay?"

All the compliments you offered towards the design — something Ellie drew herself — made you rise in her list of favorite people, speedily.

There was also openness. Ellie looked at you as you poked the needles in her skin with calculating eyes and Joel saw in them — if eyes could touch, she'd be reaching out for you. Hands spread open and fingers clutching around nothing. Ellie wanted to trust.

It was only a few more weeks before she confided in you and then walked up to her and Joel's place to confront him.

Demanding the truth.

The truth she knew he'd kept from her since she woke up in the car, probably.

"There was no cure."

Ellie stopped trusting him.

Joel died a little bit on the inside, but... she's alive.

He'd do it all over again.

You found him sitting on the edge of the lake with a guitar on his feet and his body frozen with dread, thinking about how hard Ellie had cried.

When you asked him, "Can I sit?", Joel thought it'd be another one of those times when you two sat close to one another in perfect silence. It happened a few times during movie nights or shared dinners in the commune's barn. Joel soaked up your presence, but that time, you had more. "You know... if one day you ever wanna hear my thoughts, professional thoughts on this whole 'cure' matter, I'd be happy to share them."

Joel had looked up at you, even though that hurt. So beautiful. "'m not sure I ever wanna think about it too hard."

You nodded. Scooted a little closer to him. "That's alright too. I just wanted to — put it out there. So you know I have thoughts about it. I told her that, too, but she gave me kinda the same reply."

"Did she?"

"Yeah, Joel. She did." No one did a sad grin quite like you. The way it reached through your eyes and touched him. "You two are so... similar."

"But we ain't." Joel knew they were different. He knew what Ellie would've chosen. "I think... I wished too hard we were."

The laughter was unexpected. "Joel."

"Yeah?"

"You do realize I know what you did, right?"

If a pin dropped a thousand miles away, at that moment, Joel would hear. With a deaf right ear or not, he would. I know what you did. Was that possible? How would you know and still have been this kind to him these weeks? Still have chosen to sit by his side, to make Tommy bug him about getting his check-ups, to be sitting next to him?

You nodded at his gawking eyes and jaw-slacked mouth. "Yeah. I'm quite good at putting two and two together."

"I... Grace — what I did—" he saw flashes of it. The white noise still echoed in him. "There's no way to know that and still be able to look me in the eye. It's why she hates me now. I — I was selfish. I took away her purpose just because I'm an old fucker who didn't wanna—"

"I would've done the same." It stopped him. The words clamped his mouth shut. "I don't have any children, but I love the only parent I have, and I would've done the same for him. He would do the exact same thing for me. Don't think he wouldn't. I know he looks like the sweetest old man ever, but he'd rip apart an entire hospital to get to me too. Go ask him if you don't believe me — but believe this: If I had a child, I wouldn't let them make this 'grand sacrifice', not even if I thought it'd work. Which is not the case here."

Joel had nothing to say to all of that.

He swallowed the knot tying his vocal cords together and looked ahead, trying to process the perspective from which you saw the situation.

Sitting in silence with you brought him peace, and that day, it deterred him from the plan that was coming together — the seed of maybe if you poisoned yourself slowly over the years you could finish the job this time.

Joel asked for your father's location in the commune, then walked with you when the sun set to eat dinner.

Ellie still hated him, and she probably would continue to for a long time, but Joel no longer felt like an anchor sinking to the bottom of the ocean with no end in sight for his fall.

I would've done the same. The words pulled him back. Made him see blue once more.

Validation saved his life. Your approval became a pillar.

He'd continue to seek it for the next years to come.

The Earth finished a whole new cycle around the Sun, and Joel started to build a life again in the meantime.

He worked patrols and went back to carpentry.

He befriended your father, who loved calling him to have dinner or smoke a pipe with him on his porch. Your father was a sweet-looking man who hid very crazy, funny, and dark bits inside of him.

"I see where she gets it from," Joel commented.

It pulled boisterous laughter from him. "Yeah, she's a feisty one."

Joel snorted. It came out in smokes. "Feisty? Ellie's feisty. I was on patrol last month when the raiders tried transpassing. I've seen your daughter use a scalpel in ways I still have fuckin' nightmares about."

More laughter was followed by, "I taught her well."

"You sure fuckin' did." Joel laughed too. Not because it was funny, but because the memory kind of terrified him. Thrilled him. He shook his head and gave the pipe back. "Was she always like that?"

"Was Ellie always like this?"

Joel chuckled. "Fair enough." Even though Ellie was now a teenager, and Joel had only known her for two years, he answered. "I think she has, yeah. A lil' badass. A lil' feisty and weird. And funny."

"God — she is funny."

"I didn't think so at first."

"She needed to work on her delivery," your father laughed like there was no tomorrow. No apocalypse. "I like seeing her and Grace together. I think she's waking up that motherly desire in her, ya know? I always wanted to see her be a mom before I give my big adios."

"If she hears ya she's gonna smack you again."

"Eh! She's always hitting folks. Her violent little heart can't stop anyone from reaching the pearly gates."

"Morice, I've heard enough stories to know you ain't seeing any pearls."

There had been silence, and then unstoppable, loud laughter from both of them.

It was the memory Joel thought about the most after he passed away.

When you came to his house with a whiskey bottle in hand and the angriest look Joel had ever seen on your stunning features, he knew without a word being said.

He sat with you in silence as you had done for him so many other times. You cried, chopped wood until your clothes were soaked in sweat, and drank with Joel until the bottle was empty.

It had been the first time you asked for something more.

When you caved into the tears late at night, Joel saw you pacing from left to right and had no clue what to do, what to offer, but you spared him of choosing. "Can I — can you hug me?"

He complied in the same second.

The request was quieter than the wind, but he could pick out your voice from a crowd.

Joel wrapped his arms around you and held you tight.

That opened up new doors — pearly gates. A year of small touches on the forearm and close proximity at every given opportunity made Joel aware of how much he craved your presence. Those little flames were nothing compared to this—a hug, and Joel's mind and body were a forest on fire.

You clung to him, rubbed your face on his chest, and refused to let go. You accepted every caress in your hair, and almost fell asleep on his shoulder.

After the hug, any excuse was a good one.

You touched him every time you saw him — even if just a little nudge on the shoulder or a finger brushing the back of his hand.

Joel started leaving tobacco and herbs on top of Morice's resting place, and continued their conversations even if he never heard the replies.

"I'll take care of 'er. Be by her side, y'know? I know she doesn't need it, but... You and her were the reason I found some happiness in here, so... It's only fair."

Somewhere along the way, you'd convinced Joel to play on Tommy's barbecues which happened every month for some of his friends.

Music connected weird parts of him together.

The strings of his guitar were one of the only guarantees he had of making Ellie smile, for starters. When she asked for the lessons a while after stopping all communication with Joel, he had simply nodded a meek, "Yeah," too stunned to add anything else; too grateful to even dare think about it.

Your request came the very first time Joel attended one of the famous Millers Sunday, and it was the reason why Joel went from feeling like a stranger in a strange town to himself again.

Tommy clapped him on the back. You, and your smile from across the yard with the fireplace burning in between, and Joel felt almost like a person.

So he sang. Played the strings even if his joints ached around the edges, played until they no longer did and his body grew used to the motions again, played every month to come just to see the smile creep on your face and you mouthing along the lines of the songs you knew.

One day, he asked why didn't you join Ellie's lessons.

"She's gettin' real good at it." He was proud of it. Joel almost preened talking of it, matter-of-factly, missing the way your eyes softened. "You like music. You like it and miss it, which not many people do. I don't even know why I ain't never thought of it — 'm sorry about that, darlin'. Were you ever interested? In learning?"

With his eyes back on you, Joel swallowed a little thickly at how gentle your smile looked. "Joel — have you ever seen me on The Porch's dance floor? Do I look like I have any rhythm?"

"Sure you do."

Your laughter. "No, I don't!" You slapped his arm, hiding your laughter in your arms afterward, and Joel was used to it. Being hit, being poked, being used as a pillow. "Stop lying to me."

"I ain't lyin'." He was. It made him smile to see you laugh that hard.

"You're full of shit, that's what you are."

"Is that your medical diagnosis?"

The giggles that were subduing came back, and Joel knew the second glass of wine had caught up to your head. "You've been spending too much time with Miss Williams."

That made him laugh. Joel did so with his head thrown back because not even three days ago he had a screaming 16-year-old screaming at him about 'manipulation of the goddamn perspective' and if that wasn't your lingo through and through. "That's rich! Oh, that's rich as fuck comin' from you."

"How so?!"

"I reckon Ellie Missy Williams's been doin' just fine with your tutoring. Don't think I've missed you and her gigglin' in the room every now and then."

You roll your eyes, smiling so wide that your tinted cheeks look carved into stone. "Fine. I'm a terrible influence. Her attitude got nothing to do with her grumpy ass 'father-figure' who taught her how to be a goddamn menace to society."

"I can hear the air quotes even when you don't them with your finger, darlin'," Joel accused, trying to suppress his smile and school his face into a threatening, menacing look.

He's hit with the memory of when you first mocked him for it.

"Don't call me her father. I ain't her father."

"Good fucking gods, you two are so difficult! Fine. As her "father figure", you need to say something. Is that better, Joel? Did the semantics change help you?"

Now, you have the same side smirk.

"You didn't say I was wrong." Your voice dropped to a whisper.

It pulled his body closer. Like gravity was in your sound waves. "I didn't."

You rested your chin on your hand. "So... we're both a bad influence."

"Seems that way," he found himself whispering too. Joel kept his eyes on your cheeks. On your lashes and your eyes, even if they pierced through him.

"Considering she's in perfect health, handles herself just fine, and is trying her best to keep the good people of this town safe... I think that's not a bad job. The whole picture, y'know?"

Joel nods and his lips tug in a smile — not because of your sweet spoken words, but because it's funny to see it. Your mind switching to seriousness so fast.

"I do love music, though," you pout, looking up at him. He recalls how the bickering started this time around, and chuckles at your late confession. "I like watching you guys better than any idea of me playing. Or singing." With a full-body shudder, you add. "That is not where my talents lie."

"Could be," he insisted, just for the sake of that—

—your smile. "Not even you have that patience, Miller."

Miller. He had to look away every time you spoke it that way. "You're right. The brat burned away the last savings I had of that."

He heard you chuckling, and then he felt it. The nuzzling of your nose on his shoulder. "Nah. You were trying to sweet talk her just last week."

"She needs a new horse," he argued with thin air over the memory you bring up. He also scoots closer to the couch so you can rest your head on him when you're done with your cat-like behavior and end up with your whole face pressed on his shoulders, your breath tingling his neck. "And you could help me with convincing her, couldn't ya?"

"I'm not gonna meddle in your Miller-Williams business," you scoffed as if the mere thought was ridiculous.

As if these two years and a half hadn't been about you and him and her and everything orbiting around that.

Joel scoffed back. "Darlin', if you think you ain't mingled in our business, I'm gonna have to be the bearer of bad news here..."

"More tangled."

"It's just a horse, Grace."

"She lost her first pet, a horse, in a traumatic even, Joel."

Fuck him, he loved doing this with you. He sipped the last remnants of alcohol from his glass hoping it'd dull the smell of your hair invading his senses. Or maybe he liked when it amplified it. Who knew. Who gave a fuck. "Fine."

"Fine."

"She can keep usin' the stables' horses every time we gotta go out." Joel was never above playing dirty. Certainly not with you. "The ones Rick tames. The ones that sense how volatile, strong, angry she can be..."

The way you tensed was twice more obvious with your whole body pressed on his side. "God, I fucking hate you sometimes."

Joel laughed at the empty curse. "'m just sayin'."

"You know exactly what you're doing."

"Do I?"

"You do and it's annoying and fine." You sighed deeply. "I'll get into yet another awkward, intense conversation with the volatile teenager about the importance of facing traumas. It'll go great."

"Better you who knows what the fuck you're talkin' about than me."

"She just stopped giving me the cold shoulder." It's a whine. You're whining at Joel about his daughter who still lives in a constant fluctuation between loveshatesloveshates with him was giving you the cold shoulder.

"It takes her two weeks to get over her lil' fights with you."

"Hmm." It was nice when you gave in. There were few times Joel could get through your stubbornness — something you and Ellie had engraved in your souls — and it felt like a win every time. "I'll talk to her."

Joel's hand moved on its own accord. From his lap to your hair, resting slowly on your head.

He squeezed a few times, and felt you nudging towards the touch. Leaning into it.

"Thanks, darlin'."

There was a heartbeat before you answered.

"'Course, Joel."

While the looks were easy to ignore, the whispers were not.

Words carried by the wind clung to his skin like the very smell of sweat after some years of running non-stop.

They spoke about him.

About Ellie.

You.

All three, mushed together, sometimes all in one go, sometimes two by two, but always you three.

Joel knew what they thought of him and you — of your time spent together.

They thought of him as inappropriate. You had always been the 'dark sheep' of the commune. The reason why people sometimes still remembered how grim and ugly it was out there. They spoke of you as ruthless, frowned upon your methods, but Joel smell their bullshit and saw beyond their condescension.

It was easy to speak with their bellies full.

With their houses safe. God, it boiled his blood to even think about it — these people sometimes slept with their doors opened because the security around the wooden gates was so great and efficient, but failed to remember or willingly forgot that all triage was created by your now deceased father and you.

It was your 'ruthless methods' that kept the creeps away.

Who screened people who seemed otherwise harmless but sought to do sordid, unspeakable things inside safe havens they'd have no problem burning to the ground.

Sure, he'd cleaned his way through a hospital to stop the murder of one single child, but at least Joel had a head on his shoulders.

Some people out there lacked even that.

As much as he wished for judgment to come only from the strangers he grew to know as neighbors and comrades — something you, personally, loved teasing him and Tommy of being — but of close people.

Maria, he could handle it. It was when Tommy spoke up that it stung.

"Don't you think it's... weird? Hangin' out with her so much? I mean—I heard from Dieter that he wanted to ask her out, but somehow when he goes to ask she's always talkin' to you." Tommy looked like he meant well with it. Those eyes never lied to him, and Joel saw the concern there. "I just don't want you to feel left out or abandoned in case she does start seein' someone, that's all."

That's all.

As if he hadn't opened a dent in Joel's mind.

A 'in case she does start seein' someone' sized dent.

It was the only time Joel gave a damn about words being spoken of him—or to him, he should say, considering it was meant as advice.

It was the first and last time.

In three years Joel never thought of you or anything he felt as inappropriate. Maybe he even should.

There were certainly dreams.

Desire was there, too. Alive and burning. Tall and solid, with the fires high enough for it to be a volcano.

But he swallowed it down.

He knew you were not for him.

He knew you were too bright. Knew he had nothing to offer but his company, some music every now and then, and everything inside of him, if you asked.

Still—he never did anything.

Even in the times when it felt like the bickering and teasing might be called flirting. In the times when you bit your lip after staring at him a heartbeat or two too long, or when you made his chest, shoulders, his neck your personal comforter, making yourself at home.

He bit his tongue during those times.

Told himself there was such a thing as projecting, and that just because you knew him, knew all of him, it didn't mean your kindness and acceptance equaled all that he felt for you.

All of the fuckin' ocean of things he so painfully, obviously felt for you.

Listening to Tommy worked until it didn't.

Until you showed up at his doorstep late at night, pissed off and fuming.

"Where the fuck were you?" Without even waiting for a reply, you stepped inside the house, pushing past him. "And speaking of being places, where have you been? 'Cause blowing me off only works the first four or five times. I know where you live, and in case it wasn't crystal clear to you, I know when you're lying to me."

So you pretended to believe his shitty lies. Joel closed the door with a sigh and wondered if Ellie was already listening from upstairs.

He imagined telling you to lower your voice was a certain ticket to meeting your father earlier than his due time.

"I'm sorry."

"That doesn't answer where you've been." Your arms crossed over your chest. "Y'know, it's called Miller Sunday and ever since you moved here, that means two for one. Tell me why I endured Maria's friends the whole fucking night, hm?"

"Uh — 'cause they like you?"

"Joel."

"I know, I know." He chuckled under his breath, raising both hands up in surrender. "My bad." He nodded towards the kitchen trying to work out how to knit an excuse on the spot, and then remembered—I know when you're lying to me. "I've been... stuck in my head."

There was a pause. "Oh. Ew." That made him laugh again. "Well, alright. That happens sometimes. Care to share why you're acting as if isolation's gonna help with that?"

"Damn, I don't know, woman. 'Cause I'm old and stupid? 'Cause I listen to Tommy every now and then even though that's a shitty idea sometimes?"

"Don't call yourself stupid in my presence, it's fucking offensive." The damn heat behind your words almost made him work up a sweat. "What does Tommy have to do with this?"

"Nothin'." Joel hid his face while opening the fridge, but he knew your silence well. He picked up the water jug, and placed it on the counter behind him.

"Miller, look at me."

Goddamn it.

He turned around slowly.

You were looking right through him. Searching all over his face for something you found within two seconds.

Then, you stepped closer until you were only a few inches away, looking up at him with enough certainty in your gaze to make him feel smaller despite the inches he had on you.

"I know damn well who I wanna spend my fucking time with." It was like a caress to the face. Joel felt it like your fingertips, which had traced the lines in his eyes and face until he fell asleep a few times by now. "Never insult me again by thinking you, or Tommy, or anyone for that matter can know that better than me."

An adult. Who knows who she is. Who's walked her path.

It went unsaid.

Joel nodded along since there was nothing to do but agree.

"If you don't wanna spend time with me for you own reasons, then... so be it. Tell me about them, or don't, but—never do this again. Your brother's known me for a little longer than you, but he doesn't know me as well as you do. I expected this from Tommy."

But not from him.

"It ain't gonna happen again." Joel said it and you both could hear how he meant it.

Slowly, a smile crept on your face. "Good."

"You're smiling?" he asked, dumbfounded.

The smile widened. "I'm... a little happy right now."

"Because... I ain't gonna be a stu—sorry, a silly little old man any more?"

There was a giggle you tried suppressing and failed at. "No."

"'Cause you're gonna use this against me for the next fortnight to get me to do whatever you want even though I'm nearly a sixty-year-old man?"

A roll of your eyes put a smile on his face as well. "You're more in shape at sixty than a lot of our twenty-year-olds here and that act doesn't work with me, darling. No—I'm happy 'cause I'm surprised. It works on you too."

"What works on me?"

"My mean glance." The answer took him by surprise, and yet, all you seemed was even more gleeful at his wide-eyed expression. "Didn't know I could scare Joel Miller."

"You're gigglin' 'cause you just found out I'm scared of ya?"

"Exactly."

"Darlin' I thought you saw me as a smart one. Who in their right mind ain't scared of you?"

"Damn right." You slapped his shoulder, and it seemed to ease some of the tension he carried these days he tried creating distance between you both. "Now — since we established the rights and wrongs. You wanna hear all the gossip about today?"

Joel had picked up the jug of water, but he could switch to the cans of beer.

"Lay it on me."

The thing is — never in his wildest thoughts did Joel think he'd end up having a life, after all.

Who was he to be one of the few lucky bastards who got one at the end of everything? What had he done to ever dare dream he deserved it?

Peace, a good life, building things again... that was reserved for the good ones.

Joel was not one of the good ones.

His mind had sort of stopped at thirty-six, then geared back into reality, twenty years later when he gained a second chance.

All the things he did in between those instances counted for a whole lot.

It's why he ignored it until he couldn't anymore.

That was why Joel saw only his own feelings screaming and reaching so loud, grasping like grabby fingers towards you, and blinded himself to the way all those gazes you sent back were you giving him a white flag.

Joel saw what he had the heart and mind to handle at the moment, he liked to think.

Now... this seemed like a third.

This seemed like a confession.

And it all had happened so fast.

One minute, Joel was saying goodnight to Ellie. She was leaving to go to her friend Dina's house, and you were there with your glass of wine in hand while your other browsed through the new books he picked up at the library lying on his shelves.

He had been talking about Martha — to him, it was a funny story he wanted to get out of his system since it happened, and the one and only person he wanted to tell it to was you.

He was even laughing as he started it, but his rhythm faltered when he first caught the look on your face. It made him lose his train of thought. It fucking blindsided him.

Was it jealousy?

He stuttered. It was ridiculous to him — talking about the nice woman who worked at the restaurant who flustered herself trying to talk to Joel. Flirt with him.

He'd never seen that look on your face.

Could it be—no. It had to be something else. "...told her that she isn't actually, uhm... biological. What's wrong? Did I say something wrong? Was I shit-talking myself again and didn't notice?"

If there was a thing that put a frown on your face, it was when he did that.

"No." Joel became alert out of nowhere because this tone was absent from his mental register of all your different voice tones.

"Oh. I thought I did." He laughed, albeit awkwardly. "I just—I thought it was funny, that's all. Didn't even think it was possible for someone to blush still 'cause of old me. It was funny, couldn't believe why she was so flustered.

"Why not? That wasn't the reason for my face but now it fucking is." How could Joel ever demand that Ellie cursed less when this was his household? He pinned that one for later. "You're a handsome guy. Intimidating. Don't laugh at her because you give off those... vibes."

Handsome? Intimidating? Joel's mind started reeling, and so he laughed. "Vibes? What fuckin' vibes? I'm old, Grace. What does she got to be intimidated about other than the side of me she doesn't even fuckin' know?"

"I don't know!" your voice rose to match his own, and that's when Joel noticed how his pitch rose as he argued with you. Bickering or fighting, you two could end up at each other's throats within a second, and then be hugging in the next. "Maybe because she sees you from an outsider's lens? Maybe she sees what you can't since you're so busy always thinking about everything you do wrong and lose the ability to look past that?"

"All I do is get shit wrong! You better than anyone knows that." God, was he happy Ellie had left. Joel sighed, rubbed his palms all over his face and tried breathing deep to steady his voice. "I've got nothin' to offer anyone and I don't even know how we got here from a funny lil' story I was—"

That's when it happens.

You interrupt him.

Deadly, direct, and loud, you cut over his words.

"Don't you ever say that again. Don't you ever talk that kind of bullshit in my presence, Joel."

"Why not?! It's the truth."

"No, it fucking isn't! It's the cruel part of you that judges you based only on the wrongdoing and paints it as your whole personality and I'm not gonna fucking have it! It's not the truth. It's not! Not to me." When you stopped, the whole house seemed to follow suit and quiet down with you. Then—"You don't accept me seeing only the worst in me. Why would I let you do the same? I won't."

There was bass to your voice when you threatened him.

Fire in your cheeks. A glint so bright and wide washing in the shore of your eyes that it clicked for him.

Joel realized what he'd been ignoring for the past three years — a time he spent dancing around the dark hunger he carved in his bones for you — he saw, for the first time as clear as water, that you meant those smiles. The sweetness. The honey stick way your hand touched his skin, sometimes, and the traces it left behind.

It silenced him immediately.

As you defended him from his own words, Joel saw he was not only old, but also goddamn stupid.

The silence must have stretched for too long because as it becomes a physical blanket draping over both of your shoulders, your posture changes.

Becomes erratic.

Looking from side to side, you sigh. "Y'know what? I should go. We're both hot-headed idiots and I don't wanna—"

"Sit down."

For the first time ever, you obeyed him.

It took you a second—you froze at the command but stopped your movements to remove your jacket from the chair's back and sat back down in slow movements, your eyes lingering on his all the time.

Was it real?

"Gimme a second here." Joel needed more than that. Goddamn it—Joel would need the rest of his life to accommodate to this feeling. Thing bubble of pure, raw energy swirling inside of him and growing each second, all because— "You were."

You were jealous. Of him.

Your eyes never looked so vulnerable. So earnest, and terrified. "Of course I was." It comes out like you silly old man.

Joel tries to work his vocal cords. They might've been knitted together. "Why?"

Instead of raging over him again, this time, your gaze sees the real question he's asking.

Joel never believed in an air you could touch until he stood in this very room.

He can taste the back of his tongue. He sees your frown softening, disappearing.

"Because you care, Joel." The simpler answer. He waits, because he sees in your steady, careful breathing that there's more you want to say. This tone he recognizes. This is 'I'm collecting myself bit by bit' Grace, and he waits, as always. "Because... you either lost your eyesight or just blinded yourself to... you." It's nighttime and the only light in the kitchen comes from his yellowish bulb, but it's enough to see the tint on your cheeks. "Because you're—this package. Of everything real. Everything resilient, and clever, and... Miller. Fuckin' — southern charm. Stupid fuckin' smile."

It amps. It darkens. Your cheeks, your eyes. And once you seem, it seems a crack is opened in your dam, and the inevitable water comes to fall.

"I dreamt about it before." Joel is stuck in place, listening to you. "Your smile. The way you laugh, too. And — you do this thing, where you're a complete delight to people you care about. That's what Ellie means when she says you make it so hard to stay away from you, just so you know."

"You two talk about me?" it comes out choked.

You nod. "'Course we fuckin' do."

"Goddamn it."

"Yeah." Your laughter sounds as breathless as he feels. "Because of that. And more."

He nods back, thinking — okay.

Okay.

Joel might take a lifetime to feel worthy of your feelings, but if he has them — "I didn't think I stood any chance."

The confession lays on the table for a moment and when you pick it up, Joel can see it — your eyes widen, surprise evident on your face.

"You really didn't know," you whisper.

He blinks away the sudden sting and glint in his eyes, laughing at himself. "I really didn't know." He registers you knew about your own feelings, but you have no idea of his. It registers that you both have been suffering in silence, overshadowed by the brightness of your own feelings to see beyond them. "I don't think I could've handled it if I knew it before," he confesses.

"Wow." You sigh deeply, sucking all the air you can into your lungs. "I can't believe I owe that little shit fifty bucks. I don't even have money."

"You bet on this?"

The look you throw him is enough of an answer.

Then, another question pops up — and yeah. That's why the air is palpable. It's like walking through a spider's nest.

The threads might be thinner than hair, but the feeling sticks out. It sticks with you. If Joel's had a chance all this time, if all your feelings were kept safely tucked i

He only has one question to make. "Is it too late?"

Your eyes snap back to him. "Too late for what?"

"To make a move." Joel might've been an idiot, but he's keen on fixing it. "Because — in case it wasn't clear, my thoughts are all yours." From the look on your face, it was not something you knew. The glint in your eyes tells him it might be something you hoped for or dreamed about, but it's his words that set it into stone. "My time's yours. I ain't as good as you with words, but... all I ever wanna be is alone with you. You said it yourself last month. 'm the happiest when I'm with you and El. Now... you know why."

For someone who knew him so little, you always seemed to know what kept Joel tethered to the moment.

As you listened to his words, your eyes shined, reflecting the light. Joel wanted to say more things, but he decided to keep them for later. A moment when there was less of his soul seeming to pour out through his pores.

You get up from your chair, and in two steps, you're standing in front of him.

Turning sideways, you sit on his lap.

Joel feels his hands shake as they come to rest on your hips, and yours come up to his face.

There's nothing left for you to say, or ask. Joel closes his eyes in surrender. Opening his mouth was a leap — perhaps the height was what created that bubble; that huge thing inside of him that only expanded the closer you got.

Joel never felt this before.

He knew those were your lips pressing against his. Knew it was your hair tickling his face and your fingers threading through his thick hair, but he felt submerged.

Not drowning — just deep, way deep in water.

You pulled back after a second. The kiss was so soft, and yet, Joel felt you like an ocean wave.

He opened his eyes to the sight of you licking your lips, and that snapped him; something in your tongue reached deep within him, going further than he thought possible, and ignited another something in him.

Desire.

Not the need for release, or momentary rushes, but—

the real deal.

One of Joel's hands came up abruptly, taking hold of your neck, and he breathed in a slow breath before closing the gap between your lips again.

This time, he invited himself in.

Joel licked your lips open. He pulled you closer until you were pressed against his chest, and kissed you for all the years he lacked the will to kiss someone.

It was a feast.

The more he gave, the more you took. The sounds that started to come out of you only made Joel hungrier, and the more he heard it, the more he craved it.

He could already see the cycle of addiction forming in his brain.

Your tongue swirled with his slowly, in a lazy, filthy kiss. With his hands making a mess of your hair or grabbing you by the neck and chin, he guided your face to where he wanted.

When a particular breathy whine was pulled out of you, Joel's fingers tightened around you. The kiss became desperate, needy, a pouring of bottled emotions.

A joined deep dive, where no oxygen was needed.

Fuck—Joel needed to breathe. He pulled back because his lungs screamed that at him, and he laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of that. His heart was beating as fast as it could, and his ears were ringing, he thought, and you were resting your forehead on his with your puffs of breath tickling his face.

He could feel you smiling with how close you stayed to his lips.

Joel really was alive, no matter how hard he fought it.

And now, somehow, he was here.

"What?" you whispered. Breathless.

That, he wanted to answer. Joel panted, and noticed you were breathing heavily too.

"'m never been in such a hurry my whole damn life." Joel pulled you back by the nape for one more kiss just to show you he meant it, and you moaned on his lips.

It occurred to him that might die by your hands, metaphorical or not.

You were in him.

"You." His time was yours, and so were his thoughts, and now, Joel thought he was, too. In a way. "Sittin' here on my lap, like it's nothin'."

"It's everything."

"Goddamn it, woman—"are you trying to kill me, he wants to say.

It gets buried in your lips.

Joel wants to devour you right there on the table. It's a place for eating, and he'd butter you up only to eat you piece by piece until half of his face was drenched.

At the same time, Joel's hands were shaking.

He kissed you so deep, and yet so slow because he wants this forever.

He couldn't keep everything inside him. Joel knew all he could do for now was kiss you because anything more might pull him apart by the seams.

When you start kissing his neck, his eyes snap open, and he forces himself to capture your attention. "Darlin'." It comes out raspy and low, pulling another precious sound from you. Joel exhales shakily. "Grace, hey."

That gets you. Your face comes back in his field of vision, and he's distracted by the reality facing him.

Red cheeks and lips, which are also puffy. Swollen.

He did that.

The glazy glint in your eyes and the wildness of your hair.

He did that, too.

"What?" you ask. Breathless voice — all him.

It hits him right there—the new stream making connections in the depths of his mind. Mine. A river of mineminemine.

"I hate to break this short, but — El's comin' back soon, I think."

"Oh!" You nod to yourself. "Right. And — you wanna wait? To tell her, and stuff?"

Joel laughs. He leans his head to kiss those pretty, puffy lips. He murmurs the answer right against them. "Nah. 'm gossiping to her as soon as she's through that door and 'm gettin' my money share of that bet you mentioned." Your gasp makes the smile stay on his face. "Yeahhh. But — I'm takin' you on a date tomorrow. Old school style. I'll plan it and everythin'. I know you well enough to not mess this up, I think."

He's messed up enough in his life. Maybe the universe could grant him after trying so damn hard to repair all the things he'd broken; a chance.

"I'll be ready, Miller."

He kisses you again. "Good. I'll pick you up at sundow."

"Is this you kicking me out of your house?"

He rolls his eyes at the sarcastic question and kisses the cocky grin off your face because he now can. He kisses it away real good, until his own toes are squirming in his boots and Joel can categorize the strength you like to have your hair being pulled by, how much you enjoy the nibbles he's unable to keep from stealing of your lips, and he's mapped the outlines of your upper body.

When he needs the stupid oxygen again, Joel pulls back but stays close.

"You're gonna help me make dinner?" he asks, low and sweet.

You hum. "Yeah."

"Thank you." Thank you, he kisses the thought on your lips. Thank you so much. "'m gonna be doin' this a lot now that I know I can."

"Oh, you're gonna kill me."

Joel's smirk comes back. "Y'know what? I was thinkin' the same thing."

Dinner is made with music playing on the radio for the first time in a while. Joel almost pinches himself when Ellie gets home with a, "Woah, what the fuck?! It smells amazing in here."

It hurts, how good it feels.

Joel never thought that feeling would come back.

According to Ellie Williams, Joel becomes "unbearable, really," and he would take offense to it had she not followed it with, "but... it's nice to see this side of you. And — I like her. I love Grace, actually. You know that. She's given me a lot to think about. Plus—she makes you reeeeal talkative, and we had a nice talk last night. Good on you."

Good on you.

Joel smiles for the rest of the day.

Tommy takes a total of one day and one scolding from you — which Joel fucking misses because of a shift of all things, and honestly, he'll never stop asking for your story of that day — and there's that.

Millers Sunday has a couple of tense first tries, but after a couple of months, people get used to the shift.

It's not that different from before.

You two were already seen side by side more often than not. Now, the difference was that Joel's arm could be found around your chair sometimes, or your hand rested on his neck, or you two shared a little wink.

A little flirtatious remark.

Ellie 'hated' it. "It's gross. You two are gross."

She said it laughing, though. Joel smiled every time he heard it.

They grew used to it, and Joel thanked the power of the peace you brought him, because anything they disliked about it became white noise to him.

All his insecurities were abandoned on the first date night he has with you.

Joel gets the house all for himself.

He plans the hours carefully because he meant what he said. He picks you up at sunset and takes you for a walk on the lake to enjoy the night sight and weather while it lasts. After, he takes you home to eat dinner, then pulls out one of your favorite board games to entertain the night and give both the time to work through the wine.

He liked to see your glee winning.

Joel was shitty at most of these, but it was worth the frustration of being a sore loser in your hands.

You soothed his bickering protests by crawling to him.

Not sliding, or scooting over — you crawled like a cat, and stole all his focus in one movement.

Joel did to you what he meant to do on that table.

First, right there on the floor.

Even though he wished you two went to the bedroom, it was impossible to untangle from under you when you kissed him until you two were panting for each other again. All that energy sizzling in your veins, pumping with dreams and wine, and Joel just thought fuck it.

There was a fluffy carpet and the duvet he'd spread so you two could sit with the game and play comfortably, and that's all he needed.

He had you on your back with your legs wrapped around his neck, lying with his stomach on the floor. Kneading the pad of his thumbs on the inside of your legs. Kissing all the parts of you he imagined. Joel stripped you from your clothes, and kept his eyes fixed on you as he searched for the right ways to unwind you.

He opened you up with his tongue, slowly, and deliberately.

Nothing was enough when it came to you.

Joel accepted right there — legs locked on his shoulders and your feet digging heels in his back —, right then — his tongue thrusting in and out of you until his jaw ached —, that he was fine knowing it'd be an endless search.

Seeking his fill of you.

He eats up the way your lips loosen when his hands are on you. "Joel, why d'you have clothes on? Take 'em off, take it off." He appreciated how you lost your eloquence. How eager you were for him.

"It's ok, 'm here, darlin."

"I know, want it closer." He loved how you took it. What you wanted from him, you just took it, and he prayed it would always be that way. "Want you in me," you whisper on his lips.

That's when he finds the strength to get up. He picks you up and resists the urge to throw you over his shoulder, taking you to the bedroom with all of his clothes still on and yours abandoned in various places of the living room.

Time sort of... folds, with you and a bedroom.

Joel finds that out on night one, and it keeps on being true.

The way all your walls are down there drives him towards insanity, and later, you peppering kisses all over the skin closest to you, the skin your mouth can find, it brings him back.

Joel gets undressed slowly. "Get on the bed." He falters a little when you obey him again, and it clicks for him. Joel exhales, throwing his shirt off somewhere. "Touch yourself while I do this."

Your eyes widen for a second, but again...

You smile first. Then, slowly, your knees pull apart and your hand reaches between your legs, where your pussy opens up in a glistening sight, and Joel has only the mind to finish his task.

It's hard not to worship something that makes his mouth water.

He does that until you're shaking, legs trembling on his shoulders and begging for him to come up—"get here, please."

It's the 'please' that gets him.

Joel goes in seek of more of them. Always more of them.

He discovers you like it when he alternates between extremes. Really slow, or a hard, or a fast, or a deep pace. Joel spends as long as he can take testing all the ways you wrapped around him can feel like and all the angles that make your jaw fall slack open.

Something about fucking you face to face, though — Joel gets to see the scrunch of your nose and your eyes rolling back when he praises you for doing so, so well. "Taking me so well. Look at that — look at it, baby, c'mon." The loud and unabashed moan you let out makes him roll his eyes, thrusting deep into you. "Keep on looking."

"Joel."

"Hmhm. What — is it — hm, baby?"

"'m gonna cum again," you whine, getting louder, and he gets more desperate. "Oh, god," you cry out.

"'s fine. That's what — I want. Give it to me"

"It's so good. Please—harder, Joel. Like you want to fuck me."

You enjoy doing it to him, Joel thinks. Breaking him so you can put it back together, or maybe it's just how you make him whine that gets to your head.

It gets louder — everything gets louder. The sounds, the bubble of feelings reading to burst and be reborn again, only bigger, how fucking wet you get for me.

"C'mon, darlin'. Wanna feel you soakin' me with your cum."

Joel sees why you enjoy it, too.

He smiles, and ascends at seeing the sweet feelings of release washing you from head to toe, and the transcendent look in your eyes when you open them and pull him down for a kiss. You came so hard he lost himself in your orgasm, mixing with his own and he cums a little more at the realization, burying himself deeper in the mess you two have made.

Your whining and panting in can only be felt, so he switches your face to his left side. "Deaf, baby."

You giggle at him. "I didn't say anything."

"I know. Just wanna hear your lil' noises." Joel kisses your neck, and pulls out slowly despite your whiny protests. His fingers come down to between your legs and he should feel self-conscious about the filthy mess he makes there, but when he looks up at your face you're watching him with a look he knows.

I'm starving for you.

Joel seals his lips on yours.

He's never leaving this place. This home he's built where he gets you, and a second chance, and the monthly Sundays with music and you by his side whispering indecent jokes in his ears, and the protective circle you create around him and Ellie ate any minor possibility of outsiders.

Joel's not missing this chance for anything.

🏷 @sakuralikestars — @mostardentily — @thegreat-annamaria — @leiticia — @polyglot-noodle — @casssiopeia — @levylovegood — @simply-sams-things — @lavenderhhze — @gracie7209 — @waywardwolfbonklight — @shadytalething — @yesimwriting — @celestialstar111 — @averysblog — @pedrostories — @fleursirvart — @sirtommyholland — @capbrie — @hawsx3 — @superflymaterial — @ashleyforeverareject — @girlofchaos — @queerponcho — @am-3-thyst — @nyotamalfoy — @my-tearsricochet — @ponyboys-sunsets — @peqchsoup hope you all enjoy it!

[nimpnawakproduction]

The ultimate reference sheets for all of Vash's outfits in Trigun maximum (with commentaries)

IT IS DONE. I'M FREE. Now I can forget all about Trimax and draw Trigun stampede designs only hahaha (just kidding I have things for Trimax on the stove).

Trigun bookclub was an awesome initiative, I loved the manga with my all heart and wanted to honor Nightow's designs ;w; I also wanted to help my fellow artists with references for Vash's clothes because DEAR GOD it's difficult to understand how the hell he dresses himself in the morning. I have a lot of fun dressing and undressing him like a barbie doll. My hyperfixation is completely healthy.

I put a "read more" section to avoid spoilers :) !

The July coat

The very first coat in Trigun chronology and the one he wores during the destruction of July ! There is not a lot of panels to take references but I tried to stay as close as possible to the manga. I don't know what number of prosthesis he had before but let name this one Prosthesis 1.

Scars map

Next, nakey Vash ! There's A LOT of changes between one panel to another. Scars changes places and forms panel to panel and the design evolved from the first chapters of Trigun, the time we see him naked as Eriks and his undressed state while he was a prisoner on the Ark. I drew the scars that appeared more than once or were in clean view in a panel (but really you can do like Nightow and draw as many scars as you want without thinking about consistency, this boy has been in a meat grinder)

After July underclothes

Or the jumpsuit that gave me grey hair. His suit does not make ANY sense, I don't know how the hell he dresses himself in the morning with this. My solution is that it's very long gloves and chaps strapped to a belt. The position and shapes of the belts changes IN EVERY PANEL. Same for his knee guards, sometimes they're here, sometime they cover his shins, sometimes they are tiny..... I gave up in the end and draw them as we see them in the very last panel he wears this suit. But damn he looks good in it.

Also in all of the 13 volumes, there is not a single panel with a clear view of his holster (I checked...) so here is my interpretation.

This is prosthesis n°2, the design is a little different from the first one so I guess Prosthesis 1 got destroyed (this happens a lot).

After July coat

The very first Trigun coat he wears in the manga ! Very simple, very basic, it gives him impossibly wide shoulders but Vash deserves it. The first one is worn Post July until Vash's confrontation against Brilliant Dynamite Neon. The second one is the state of his coat after the sandsteamer incident. He loses his prothesis after his fight against Monev the gale. He meets Wolfwood with only one arm and stays that way while he fights Knives for the first time.

Eriks

I took liberties with colors because there's no colored panels with Vash as Eriks. Yes I drew him without suspenders because he has them for like 5 panels and then Nightow drew him without them for the rest of Eriks arc so I made choices ;w;

I love the fact that Vash choose to wear tight jeans even in his casual outfits, this boy will not let his skin breath. This is now Prosthesis 3 ! It's way less advanced than the ones he wore in the rest of the manga, the other ones seem to replicate skin.

After his years as Eriks

And now the first Maximum coat, he wears it until the famous Yuri hospital arc! Finally an undersuit that makes sense, I love it, too bad Nightow-san decided that I had to suffer and changed it again to add BELTS EVERYWHERE. We only see his legs in this part of the manga so I gave him the same top because I can.

The tubes he has on his waist are filled with bullets, he can connect them to his prosthesis to have a mini machine gun.

We are now at Prosthesis 4 !

Hospitalization on the Home ship

The famous Yuri hospital phase! Vash definitely shared his wardrobe with Wolfwood, you can't tell me otherwise.

The first outfit still shows Prothesis 4 but he keeps it for like 5 minutes and lost it again against Nine-lives. I don't really know if the prothesis comes with the integrated glove or if there's synthetic skin under it but why would he keep the glove on if it's not intergrated?

The second pictures is the different outfits he wears during his convalescence. I took liberties with the colors, I drew this in like 10 minutes, everything seems easy when you don't have to draw BELTS. We are now on Prothesis 5 ! Nightow drew it as a regular arm so I guess Vash wears gloves on top of it??????

Back on the road in pursuit of Knives

He wears this one after his stay at Home, throughout the Dragon's nest ark and until his 2nd fight against Knives.

I liked the design of his jumpsuit until I looked closer at the panels and saw that the design change ON EVERY ONE OF THEM. Knee guard on only one knee? No kneeguards? Two??? WHO KNOWS ??? I tried to make it work but really go wild with this one, even the author does not know how his pant looks.

Still prosthesis 5, BUT UNTIL WHEN?

Prisoner on the Ark

THEY MASSACRED MY BOY. Did they even feed him at least in 7 months? Those pictures are the definition of the drenched kitty cat left under the rain. Give this man a blanket and a therapist.

Bye bye Prothesis 5 ! And see what I mean when I say that his outfit does not make sense????? It comes out in parts????

After his imprisonment on the Ark

The last suit in the manga! He keeps this coat until the end of the story. From this point, only his hair changes (or the color of his coat).

I adore the little angel wing symbol on his left arm, such a cute addition. Too bad it appears in one of the most traumatic event of his life.

Speaking of his jumpsuit...The return of belts.... But at least this outfit stays relatively coherent except for his kneeguards who appear and disappear panel from panel but most of the time he doesn't have any, so no kneeguard it is. Prosthesis 6 hello !

Final battle and end of the story

It hurted to drew those outfits ;w; And working on the design of his coat when he fights Legato made me realize where Orange studio took inspiration to chose the colors for Vash's coat in the final episode of Stampede ! Great job ! I tried to color the same effects as one of the illustrations showing dark Vash but I'm not really good with colors..... He actually radiates energy but with some purple undertones, I took some liberties because those are my drawings I do what I want.

I'm not sure at 100% that he has a tuft of blond hair left when his outfit turns black but his hair is all black at the end of the fight. His prosthesis is destroyed at the end of the fight. He got another one in the final chapter. So 7 prosthesis throughout the story!

[beatcroc]

a year!!! as of today i have now been drawing these funny little pizza freaks, to the exclusion of almost everything else, for!!! an entire year!!! i wanted to do a nice group shot/lineup of everybody to compare to when i first started trying to draw them because oh boy were they bad. i never even posted most of them anywhere because they were so bad. but im posting them here, now, to see how everything's changed/evolved.

this is probably the hardest time i've ever had trying to figure out how to work with a style, but we got there eventually; i'm pretty happy with the handle i've got on everybody now...dont let ur memes be dreams. lots of unimportant journaling and idle thoughts abt it below.

older pics

the first one is the VERY first time i drew them, before i thought i was going to actually have any interest in drawing them [lmao]; it was just the one isolated image, for my friendserver, to illustrate the funney message, so there was no attempt to make it Good or actually understand anything going on w/ the designs or style.

second is the original run of practices sketches to start trying to figure them out for real; done after i started having ideas for the comics and such and realized oh god maybe i am actually gonna draw fanart for this. [again, lol, and lmao.]

third one is the first pt art thing i posted on here. there were a couple weeks of sprite studies between this one and the previous image. the one on the top right wasn't part of that post i just threw it on as space filler; i'd intended to shift to doing Sprite Redraws But Stylized to explore tings more, but that was the only one i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

individual characters

peppino: by far the hardest dear god. bro what ARE your shapes how DOES your face work. jesus christ. everything i have trouble with this style for, peppino has it in excess. i draw in polygons! i need consistency! and that is the last thing this kind of style is concerned with. they are made of squarshy clay and i do not understand how to mold them. i was really hoping trying to learn this game's style would GIVE me that kind of flexibility for fun exaggerated facial expression but i don't think much came of it in the end 😔. anyway on the bright side all this means once i got peppino figured out a little bit everybody else clicked way easier.

fake peppino: honestly i never did anything with him on purpose except for how his eyes work + the perma-smile thing. i figured ok hes supposed to look weird and off model so whatever happens with him happens. and it did. and it kept happening. it is still, in fact, happening.

noise/ette: somehow, for every bit that peppino was the least natural thing i've ever tried, these two worked pretty much right off the bat. i still don't understand it, seeing as pretty much all the things at play for peppino are also at work for them. i think the new sketches are actually a little worse than older ones but not enough that i care.

gustavo: really funny bc i drew him on model twice and just went 'okay, cool nice, easy, um. he doesn't have any fucking legs?' fortunately he was the only one i had a strong idea for how to stylize him [square] and it worked exactly as i was hoping so wahoo.

brick: is an animal and therefore 5000x easier and more natural for me to draw/stylize than anything else in the cast. that is Just a rat bro. i can draw a rat.

gerome: i think the funniest one here. the most drastic and least necessary change imo. i was gonna have him be really small at first, like smaller than the noises, but then i just... didn't. he's just peppino-sized now. also i gave him like. actual human facial structure, which is funny bc in most cases i'd do anything to avoid, but it works well for his being A Rock to give him some angles and definition like that+ to differentiate his vibe from the rest of the cast who are all very squishy. also since he is essentially Just A Head it's good to emphasize that too ig.

john: i only drew john a couple times but he gets to be here because i like him. and because most of the stuff i applied to gerome was readily applicable to john, though i did try to keep him a little more uncanny because he is a Huge And Lanky Freak. i hate that he is barefoot btw but idk how to make his color balance look right with shoes.

pizzahead: i did not want to put him on here honestly but i Have drawn him a handful of times and more importantly i didn't know what i was gonna do with john's pose if i didn't have him there to be glared at. the only thing that's different with him is giving him wider-bottomed pants, which i got from when i tried to draw these guys in clone high style [i never posted that one either][i will eventually]

snick: he gets to be here because 1. he's like 6 lines 2. i like him and 3. ive scribbled him a few times offhand and it went pretty well

misc

there are some guys missing because those are guys i didn't draw enough [or at all] to have gotten comfortable with them. sorry

i would have Liked to shade these but for the time being i have accepted that my grasp of light/shadow has decayed to the point im not going to be happy with anything i try there, so For Now i am working on my presentation with flats i guess. gerome has a shadow only because he's shaded like that ingame and looks naked without it

anyway if you are still reading [hi?] i get to shamelessly plug now. i'm over the hill of my pizza run now, and while i still have plenty of things i want to make here, most of the bigger more in-depth ones have passed. pizza tower was the first thing in THREE YEARS to get me out of my oc groove to doing fanart, and once i am done with my ideas here i will be going right back to it. if you like my art or how i write characters/interactions you should check out my oc/webcomic blog @jamverse . i can't promise people who like pizza stuff will be terribly into my designs, but i can guarantee i treat my guys with the exact same sort of tone i handle the pt guys with. and hell, i've mentioned it a few times before, but like 70% of my characterization for fake pep is just copied off one of my characters, so if u are going to miss him... he will still be there in spirit >;p

and if you dont care about any of that and are still reading thank you anyway. actually making these comics + seeing how shockingly well-received they've been has done a lot for my confidence, and for seeing that my kind of stuff IS something people enjoy :')

[siphoklansan]

based on the results of this poll…₊˚⊹ ᰔ

the long awaited (no one was waiting) dorm reveal is here! ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

BASED ON THE POLL, I was really surprised that the majority of you guys voted Pomefiore. Like- I wasn’t really expecting any dorm to win, but Pomefiore is the least expected for me idk why😭

I planned to draw her in all the uniforms but alas, I am not god’s strongest soldier😔✌️ maybe in the future tho!

As to why I drew her in Diasomnia’s uniform, it’s actually the correct (kinda) answer to which dorm Sippy’s most suitable in! I’ve done a quiz twice on which dorm I’d be in twst, and the answer was always Diasomnia. It fits!

design notes ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

Of course, I had to keep the bunny shoes- I just turned them into boots!

Sippy is wearing leggings in the Pomefiore uniform because I ran out of ideas</3 i had fun with the ruffles though I think it’s super cute!

I wanted Pomefiore Sippy to have a red skirt, but decided against it because the inner fabric of the robe(?) is already red :((

I had a lot of fun drawing Diasomnia Sippy! For some reason I changed the neck-tie into a brooch but i can’t remember why🤷‍♀️I guess I wanted her to look different from other members.

Every time I think about Diasomnia I think about the military/guards/knights/soldiers (like Sebek & Silver) so I wanted to make her design realistic those two (ex.the pants, adding combat boots, no braids) . BUT it looked boring. And I don’t want boring. Who gaf about realistic designs anyway /j but yeah her stockings are kinda like Lilia’s!

Yes, I know the salute looks wonky (I used my own hands for reference) </3 but I tried my best

on siphona and floydhok… ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

Pick your poison ahh template but let’s ignore that💀

It’s a fun doodle, nothing more or less. But it’s the most popular (and the only ones) ship regarding to Sippy!

I drew it in one-go so if it looks wonky I apologize

I wanted to draw each ship it’s own interaction but I ran out of ideas :(( I’ll let you guys decide if you want to see it but I’m just gonna leave them here-

totally nothing suspicious with the last photo tho :^ have a good day!

[babybinko]

My second batch of venture bros genderbends are finally done! :D [first set here]

PLEASE LOOK UNDER THE CUT!!! I made all these nice drawings and doodles of them and I want people to see them without this post being super long! :') [My thoughts on the designs and doodles will be under the cut as well]

Okay NOW I'm going talk about my thought process on some of these:

Baby Rusty: I love the baby Rusty, the frilly socks and sleeves were a must. I actually drew her with the original set of genderbends but I turned off her layer and forgot about her 💀

Jonas Jr: not much to say about her, I tried to make her like Rosie the Riveter. Her little bandana has the Venture logo on it :)

Jonas Sr: I wanted her to be a hot bitch, her outfit is maybe a little scandalous for the time era they were in but I think it fits, canon Jonas is a whore. I think everybody would want her and that every celebrity, politician, and anybody with any power would chase after her so badly.

Blue Morpho: I made her so incredibly slay. I fucking love her outfit, I found the inspo for the outfit on Pinterest but I changed it up a bit. Also her gun has the bayonetta butterfly wings on it as a charm because I HAD TO.

Colonel Gentleman: Not a lot to say, I wanted to give her like horse riding esque boots and I gave her a purple flower cause she likes the ladies. I know generally WLW flowers are Violets and Lavender but I wanted to draw a rose so, Purple rose compromise <3

Dr.Boyfriend 2: With my last round Dr.Boyfriend was the only one people had complaints with. I think people wished he was more Masculine and I agree but if I switched up the design too much it wouldn't look like Dr.Girlfriend. I hope giving him armor and making him look like a knight helped him look more masc. I made the sheer wings cross over his chest to make it look like it was holding up the shoulder armor. Also his guild book is insanely high quality because I was procrastinating drawing his armor.

Goofy and Goober (Watch and Ward): I think they ended up really cute, I tried to make their hair colors close to Doc and Jacksons since I heard they are supposed to be like their "main" self inserts. With Ward I had a really specific idea for her hair, I kept thinking about this haircut from my sims and had to do it. It might be hard to see but her ponytail holders have skull charms on them. I also purposely gave them both some sort of ponytail hairstyle so they would match but be slightly different :) (They are absolutely prank calling or trolling their clients on that phone btw)

Shoreleave: OH MY GOD I LOVE SHORELEAVE. I kept turning her folder back on just to keep looking at her when I was drawing the other characters. She is so captivating to me, she looks so soft and human. I want to take a bite out of her thigh. My biggest inspo for her was Cammy from Street Fighter, I felt like her dressing a bit skimpy works for her since canon Shoreleave kinda does. The girls out for the girls.

Alchemist: I love her design so much too. I wanted her to look like some kind of nun or priestess. She looks like if a Zelda fire temple was a person. I kinda gave her like a weird little hime cut under the hood. Also I put the Triad logo on all three of their designs (+ Triana).

Jefferson: Had a lot of fun with her, I didnt change her design much from canon though so there's not much to say. I did give her more flared pants though. Drawing her hair was a really fun change of pace, I very rarely get to draw textured hair.

College Rusty and Monarch Drawing: I love this one, Monarch turned out so hot dude. You can tell what character I like more LMFAO. I made rusty very obnoxious 80s while keeping the colors of the original college rusty outfit. Monarch kind of looks like postal dude but its fine because shes slay.

Hereditary Venture Family Dinner Drawing: This was one of the first drawings I started but the second to last one I finished. I wanted to draw the family doing something together but I think I really truly just wanted to draw Dermott again. 😭 Nobody has said anything if they noticed but I did give hatred the shirt from these edits. (I believe the one on the left is from reddit and the one on the right is by SquashFold on Twitter)

Dermott piercing Dean's ears drawing: Even though its messy its in the top 3 favorites I did, It was also the last one I did. I just love the idea of Dermott giving goth Dean at home ear piercings. At first I didn't know if I wanted to make Dermott giving her piercings at the mall where she works or at home but the mall idea was too much work for a last minute sketch. Dermott is so mean older sister who shoplifts and works at the mall.

Drug bathroom drawing: Another one of my favorites, its based off a specific deleted scene from Invisible Hand of Fate where Pete and Rusty talk at the bar but Pete comes out of the bathroom sniffling at the start. I love the way I drew Pete pushing the hair out of her face and both of their expressions.

Bdsm 21 drawing: Okay first of all, The little devil Monarch was so cute I was screaming, crying, and throwing up while drawing her. I fucking love her, shes the smallest part of the image but my favorite. I also am quite fond of the bdsm 21.

Quizgirls Pete and Billy: I tried looking up Vanna White dresses to base Pete's outfit off of but I couldn't find one that Pete would actually wear so I just had to make shit up. Billy's design is really basic but the bow in her hair is actually from one of my rejected main Billy genderbends.

Me and The Bestie: I put a lot of effort into this one for no reason. Literally the moment I saw Jonas in the problem machine I thought he should be made of like blue slime. When I was working on this I kept thinking about Momopatchi's Hatsune Microbe drawing so this Jonas was definitely inspired by that. I gave Jonas makeup because she was having a party movie night on gargantua and I felt like she would still have makeup on thats like completely fucked up and deteriorating on her face after many many years. Vendata's outfit was partially based on Marguerite Chapman's from Flight to Mars, never seen it but I was looking up old sci-fi movie costumes to work with and I thought it would look good :)

[acourtofmenandthirst]

Bow For Your High Lady

All smut, no plot. Switch Eris maybe? (idrk what that means also am shit at writing sub Eris - I TRIED THO OK) you know its hard for him to relinquish control ;)

Warnings: all smut, edging :)

Word Count: 7.2K 

Eris had a particular affection for replaying the sounds of your moans while he went about his day as High Lord of the Autumn Court. 

During training, all he kept seeing was your ass shaking against his hips as he pounded into you from behind. Hell, he nearly jerked himself off during lunch when he started thinking about how tight your pussy was. In the High Lord’s meeting, instead of listening to Rhysand drone on about that Nightmare bullshit, Eris imagined you bouncing on his cock in front of all of them, crying out for your High Lord. 

Gods, he couldn’t get enough of you. He’d have you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner - dessert, too. In fact it was for dessert that he usually ate you out until he was satisfied enough to lick the plate clean. 

But you were somehow insatiable. Always begging him for more, more, more; you were all over him. In front of the court, watching him sit tall in his throne, long legs spread wide and outstretched before him, you could barely wait until the last Fae had left the room before you’d unbuttoned his pants and sucked him dry. He’d fucked you slowly as you read over his policy changes - he drew lazy circles over your clit until you came, stumbling over the word ‘Autumn’ over and over again. Territorial male. 

You even rode him while he had breakfast, and you licked the strawberry jam down his chest while the tea on the tabletop had gone cold. 

Almost every night, Eris came to your bedroom run ragged from a day spent as High Lord - between meetings, travel, training, and courtier bullshit, he was absolutely drained. But while the High Lord secretly loved when you babied him, relishing in your time spent relaxing in a hot bath, rubbing his shoulders, and sucking his sweet cock, the male loved to take control of you. There was something about watching you on your knees, holding your ass over his face while you rode his tongue, or watching his cum drip out of your full mouth, that had the male feeling more powerful than when he sat on that godsdamned throne. 

You’d spent the day in your bedroom planning your strategy for the upcoming evening. The past few days spent without Eris, leaving you in a cold bed with nothing to do. But you’d already done it all: horseback riding, sword training, baking, even embroidering. The fact of the matter was that you were bored. 

And you wanted to try something. 

It was the kind of thing you’d seen so rarely in your past however-many-years spent with Eris. A drunken night that left him in near shambles. He begged for you, called out for you - he was just about shaking. 

And by the Cauldron, you were determined to make it happen again. 

The whole day was spent readying your bedchamber for your mate’s arrival. Being in the Day Court for the past three days would ensure he’d return in a sour mood - perhaps with a slight sunburn, as well. You’d allowed yourself to be pampered; while the high maintenance High Lord was away, there were a few extra hands to dote on you. So you’d been dressed in your laciest nightgown - a short red one - and lathered in the finest salves, the amber and vanilla ones you knew Eris loved so much. The wine had been set out, to which you’d helped yourself to the first glass - something for the nerves, you’d told yourself. 

The plan was foolproof, it was designed for the male you knew better than the back of your hand. But one wrong move could set him off, have the roles reversed, and would leave Eris pounding you into the mattress all night long. 

Not like that would be such a bad thing. 

You had timed it perfectly, you turned on the hot water as soon as your bedroom door opened. You heard him kick the heavy door shut with his boot, the thick chains and locks being drawn over the wood. You knew his routine perfectly, he’d already begun loosening his harness and belts, dropping the sword from his hip to the floor with a heavy clang. He stopped short of the bed, pausing in front of the bathroom door, left ajar just enough so that he could hear the water running. 

He leaned forward, peering through the crack between the wall and door. You tried your best to look sultry, calling on the confidence that glass of wine you’d already downed was supposed to give you. You peered up at your mate over the rim of the clear glass, sipping on a bit of the fruity drink as you watched him shift his footing and push the door open. “Getting started without me?” His hands fell to the front of his jacket, beginning to unfasten the buttons that held his many layers together. 

You gazed up at him from under your lashes, the closer he got, the more you had to tilt your head upwards to face him. “I grew tired of waiting - ” he stopped so close in front of you that his knuckles brushed your barely clothed chest as he worked down his jacket. “ - My Lord,” you added for good measure. 

He smirked, eyeing you up and down like the predator taking in his prey, right before the chase. 

A chase he was in for, indeed. 

“I couldn’t wait for you,” you whispered, gaze falling as you watched him pluck the wine from your grasp. Your eyes tracked how he abandoned his unbuttoning, taking a large sip of the wine instead. You sensed the switch, picking up where he left off, finishing his jacket and shrugging it from his shoulders, dropping it to the floor behind him. You’d almost cursed the tailor for making it so tight around his broad shoulders - nearly impossible to remove. But when you watched him from afar, dressed in the tightest fitting, most extravagant suits, you’d thanked the tailor personally. 

You felt his eyes on you as you continued, fiery gaze washing over you from your hair and face to your dress and cleavage. He let out a soft sight when you removed another layer, watching as your arms pushed your breasts together, moving around just enough for him to peer down the gap the silk left against your smooth skin. You rubbed your legs together, itching to touch the male as you removed his last shirt. 

You took the liberty to undo his pants, letting them fall in a pool around his ankles. But you let him kick them away and remove his own boots as you shut off the water and fetched the wine bottle from the counter. You took a hearty swig before you set the spout against Eris’s glass, refilling much more than the appropriate amount. He watched your every move closely, knowing each step you took was calculated. 

You smiled broadly before downing another sip straight from the bottle. “Animalistic tonight, are we?” Eris took a drink from the glass, pulling you tight against his hip as the male was now fully naked.

“I thought you liked when I was cheeky.” You could only feign so much innocence. 

“A minx is what you are.” His hand fisted at the red lace that barely covered your ass. 

“And you’re nothing but a hungry fox.”

His head dipped down to your neck, his breath tickling the outer shell of your ear. “I’ll ravish you like one then.” He nipped the pointed tip of your ear, but you found the strength to refrain from throwing your head back and letting him have his way with attacking your neck. 

Instead, you tisked and took a step back, drawing your fingers across your collarbone to drop the thin straps of your gown. “Not tonight, you won’t.”

Eris’s red eyebrows shot up in surprise. But, never a male to argue with an undressing female, he sat back on the edge of the tub and watched as you gracefully lowered your gown, opting to run your hands over your silhouette and across your breasts. He watched with adoration, taking large sips of that delicious faewine. When you’d fully lost your shift, you took two steps closer to him, where you stood directly in front of him between those long legs, with your hands gently placed on either of his shoulders. He tilted his head back to gaze up at you, looking nearly lust drunk already. “And what do you have planned for me tonight?”

Clever male, always knew when you were up to no good. You leaned forward, just to press a kiss to the tip of his nose, ignoring his pursed lips. “You don’t want to know.”

Your mate nearly growled when you stepped back, just as his warm hands found purchase on your hips. But he’d be good and play your little games, letting you work him up - even though he’d been horny the moment he walked into the bedroom, even before he’d seen you in the bathroom wearing the red nightgown. 

You took his hands in yours, pulling him up to his feet so you could step into the hot water together. Eris, always unphased by the water, despite the steam that was curling over the surface, made it into the bath first, not without grabbing the wine bottle. You took a second longer, needing to adjust to the heat before you could fully submerge yourself in front of your mate. 

You let your back fall against the curve of the tub, relaxing fully as your shoulders fell into the warmth. You dropped your head against the rim of the cool porcelain, huffing a sigh of contentment. By the gods, you could feel his gaze burning into you from across the tub. 

You peeked your eyes open, dead on with your assumption, as the male sat across from you with those dark brows furrowed and a slight pout adorning those pink lips of his. Even from where you were sitting across from him, you could see the pink splotched onto his cheeks and nose, where the sun had kissed him a little too much in the Day Court. 

“Why are you across from me?” He looked perplexed, so utterly bewildered at why you’d sit that far from him. To be fair, your normal routine was to lay against his chest, let him wrap his arms around you or clutch your breasts. “I want you here.”

You cocked a brow in mock confusion. “On your lap?”

“On my dick.”

He could not be more serious. He thought it was going to be one of those nights. “You can’t get everything you want all the time, Eris.”

You shut your eyes and let your head rest against the edge once more. “When you’re High Lord you can.” His hand found your ankle under the water, and you swore he was burning hotter than normal. 

“And what of your High Lady?” You didn’t move, not even a flinch as he dragged your ankle closer to him. 

He smirked - you heard it in his voice. “She better know what’s good for her and get over here.”

You were willing to play a bit. 

You rose to your knees and waded through the water, stopping just in front of your mate. His legs were bent, spread against the walls of the tub such that your only option was to crawl into his lap. So you hooked your legs around his and straddled his waist, careful to barely touch him as you leaned chest to chest with him. “This is the kind of welcome home I get from you?” He reprimanded, hands falling to your waist. 

“I don’t know what you mean, my love,” you whispered, reaching an arm behind him to grab the soap from a stool beside the tub. He watched you with narrowed eyes, eyeing how your hands worked the soap into a lather and began their work across his scarred chest. 

“You’re not as coy as you think you are,” he challenged, bending his legs more so his knees poked just out of the water, forcing you onto his lap fully, dick pressed against your ass. 

You involuntarily rocked, steadying yourself as you pretended not to feel his cock hardening underneath you. “I think you’ll find later - ” your head dipped forward to press a light kiss in the corner of his jaw, just where it met his neck under his ear. You licked a long stripe up the shell of his ear, leaning in close to whisper the rest of your sentence. “That I am.”

He huffed a shaky sigh, unashamedly grabbing your ass with both hands, trying to rock you against his dick. 

But you simply tutted, firmly planting yourself against his toned thighs. You continued across his chest, taking his arm in your hand and cleaning up and down his skin with the other. His eyes were narrowed the whole time, clearly unamused with your current plan of not fucking him. “Not even a kiss hello,” he huffed, releasing an exaggerated sigh when you switched which arm of his you were cleaning. 

“Aww my poor baby,” you cooed, unable to hide your smile as you dipped your head down to capture his pouting lips with a kiss. “Better now?”

He shook his head, squeezing your ass and trying to pull you closer. You could stifle your giggle as you met his hungry lips once more. He was clearly more than ready, turning your soft kiss into a smattering of teeth and tongue. You let him have his way with you, just for a moment, since you already knew the state you’d have the poor male in soon enough. 

As Eris continued his assault of kisses, you’d abandoned your soap and dragged your hand down his chest. His abdomen convulsed as you slid your fingertip down the center of his stomach and just over the fine hairs that led to the base of his cock. His hands flew up to your face, silently begging for you to stay still and continue on with your path. He tilted your head to the side, and as you gasped for breath, he met you in the middle with another sloppy kiss. 

You lifted your hips to let his cock spring up below you to rest on his abs, a strangled sigh escaped the High Lord when you ran just a finger up and down the base. You braced your other hand on his shoulder, nails digging into his hardened skin, resisting the urge to run your wet pussy over his cock instead. 

But it was about him and what you’d planned on doing to him later. You wanted him needy. 

And by the Cauldron, he already was. 

Your fingertip circled the head of his dick and brushed over the slit, earning a gasp from the male. You smirked, the strangled choking sound muffled deep in the back of his throat. He’d smack your ass if he could - the water in the tub doing him no justice - so he opted for a quick prick of fire against your skin. 

With a strangled squeal, you lurched forward in his arms, rubbing against him so faintly you had no other choice but to fully stop on his lap and get your momentary fix. He smirked happily, satisfied with his little plan. You rocked your hips just for a moment, his cock nestled so nicely between your legs, brushing against your clit perfectly as you shifted in the water. It slid against your wet cunt perfectly and you could feel your stomach tighten in anticipation.

But with a smack to his chest you lifted, rubbing your pussy for a second before grabbing hold of his dick right at the base. He took a sharp breath through gritted teeth, watchful eyes glazed over in bliss. You worked your hand up and down, palm dragging against the thick vein that ran along the underside of his cock. Your other hand kept you balanced against him, keeping your chests pushed apart so he could watch your breasts bounce as you increased your speed jacking him off. 

What started with nothing but a gentle caress, you worked his shaft until you saw his muscles tense and his eyes squeeze shut. You brushed your thumb over the tip of his dick, but before you could coerce him any further, you slowed down your movements. 

It was painfully slow, as far as Eris was concerned, so close to just getting off right there in your hand - all gone as you stopped your hand and gripped the base of his dick. “I would have gotten you off after, you know,” he muttered, hands leaving your waist instead finding purchase on either side of the tub, gripping the tub’s rim until his knuckles turned white. 

“I know.” You gently kissed his lips, which he felt too angry to return, but in the end he couldn’t refuse. But soon enough you were standing over him, droplets of water falling from every curve and dip of your body. It was moments like that where Eris felt like the luckiest male in the world - to have you all to himself…it almost felt selfish. 

But he was a greedy male. 

And a confused male, too, as he watched you step out and run a towel over your legs, haphazardly drying yourself enough to slip into the ornate green robe that hung on the wall. You fisted the neck of the wine bottle (Eris never wished he was an inanimate object so badly in his life) and strolled out of the bathroom, offering him a wink. “Come out here,” you’d called from the drawing room. 

Eris cursed, pushing himself from the cooling water and creating a bubble of warmth around himself. If he was feeling generous, maybe he’d let you in on his warmth - he knew you had to be freezing in the room with wet hair and barley dry legs. Although he would enjoy watching you shiver, watching your nipples harden as you begged for him to warm you, with his powers or his cock - he’d have to weigh his options. 

But as he sauntered into the bedroom, not even bothering to dry himself off, he found you leaning against the back of the couch, robe opened, leaving only the cleavage and a strip of your stomach, all the way down to your cunt, which Eris knew was just begging for him. You gestured to the sofa before you, taking a long sip of wine as the High Lord sat. You planted the bottle in his hand, pulling him backwards, ushering him to lean back against the plush cushion. 

With a hearty sigh, he compiled, dropping his head against the back of the couch, letting you run your hands all over his chest. “You need to relax,” you breathed, moving your hands upwards towards his shoulders, kneading away the knots buried deep in his muscles. 

His eyes trained carefully upward, he watched your breasts from where you leaned over him. The front of your robe doing nothing to hide anything - he wasn’t sure why you’d even donned it in the first place. He reached his hands up, just grazing the underside of your breasts before you grabbed his hands and placed them back down in his lap. You leaned forward just enough for him to find the perfect open spot to bite the soft flesh, sharp white canines biting into your sensitive breast. He smirked, licking his way over your skin as you straightened, hovering over him once more. “No touching.”

“If you’re going to be doing all this, love, I need a whiskey.”

You smiled down at the High Lord, drawing a hand through his red hair and ruffling it. He watched intently as you crossed the room to the desk, where his liquor was ready and waiting alongside a few empty rock glasses. You offered him the drink as you strolled back to him, trading him for the bottle resting beside his thigh. 

With another swig you were back at it, massaging his tender freckled skin. He wanted to pretend he didn’t love it, that he didn’t miss your hands all over him. The High Lord’s meeting that he returned from had really drained him, arguing over policy and having to listen to the useless High Lords brag about their own annoying courts. He wanted nothing more than to come home and have you all over him, doting on his every need, touching him just as you were.

He loosed a sigh, sipping on his whiskey before he set his head back, arms going loose in his lap. With one hand, you took the drink, taking a small sip of the burning liquor before setting it to the side. You continued working out the knots in his shoulders, pressing your fingers into the ridges of his muscles, holding your palm to his hard chest. His rib cage expanded slowly, deflating as your fingertips traced the ridges of his abs, then hitched once more when you traced over the outline of his hip bones. 

His hard cock twitched as your finger traced along the underside, stopping just before you could swipe the precum seeping from the tip. He whined, reaching out for your wrist hovering right above his lap. “Please, (Y/N),” he groaned. “Don’t toy with me.”

With a coy smile you rounded the corner of the sofa, dropping before the male, between his parted legs. “Let me have my fun, Eris.” You gazed up at him from under your eyelashes, keeping your brows low to convey the gravity of your plan. 

But he leveled your stare, lifting his hand to stroke the side of your face. Warmth leached into your skin, a warning, perhaps. Stop teasing. Eris’s signatured smirk crawled onto those plush lips, as he began fisting his cock in his other hand. “You want to do it yourself?” You whispered, staring at the red tip of his cock, the precum that had been smeared across his entire dick. 

He simply shook his head, cupping your jaw, pressing his thumb and fingers against your cheek until your mouth opened in an O. You obliged the male, staring deep into his red eyes as you stuck your tongue out for him. 

You swore you could feel your body temperature rise as you watched the shit eating grin sprawl over Eris’s lips. He bit his bottom lip with those perfectly sharp teeth and hissed as he tapped his dick against your wet tongue, slapping the salty tip against your flesh. 

You moaned, capturing the tip in your mouth and sucking softly - an act that had the male throwing his head back against the couch. You licked up his dick, leaving a sloppy line of spit falling down to his balls as you dragged your mouth along his cock. 

He’d once told you how much he detested masturbating when he’d been called away from the court. It’s not the same - your pretty pussy has spoiled me. It ensured he’d return home from travel pent up and ready to fuck the shit out of you. 

But you wanted to take care of him, to have him be the one begging for mercy while you had your way with him. His chest had flushed as his breathing grew shallow, his hand crawling upwards to fist your hair, pulling at it each time your tongue swiped around the head of his cock. “That’s it, (Y/N),” Eris breathed, hips leaving the couch slightly to rut into your mouth. Your thighs squeezed together at his words: the male normally renowned for his hostile demeanor and name calling, with a sweet spot only for you. “Good girl.” 

Wait.

He wasn’t supposed to be saying that to you.

You were supposed to be the one dishing out the praise. 

While Eris absolutely loved to watch your cheeks flush and cunt tighten around him whenever he offered you praise, there was something about how flustered he got and how desperate the male became when you offered him such affection. 

And it was something you were dying to witness.

With a finite pop, you sucked his tip and let it fall from your tongue, meeting the skin of his abdomen with a harsh slap. Eris stifled the shaky breath as he watched you stand. 

With not even a second glance, you lifted his nearly empty glass and downed the rest of the whiskey - the last push of liquid confidence to enact the final step of your plan. Your mate watched with nothing more than those drawn brows. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into you - why you’d been pushing everything off, teasing him like so. It wasn’t like you to play such games, and certainly not like him to put up with them.

But you were clearly enjoying yourself, giggling about whatever remaining tricks lied up your sleeve. Eris followed suit, working on the remainder of the wine as he lagged a few steps behind you, watching you like one would a ballet. You strolled to the bed, making a show as you dropped your robe, discarding the glass along the way. 

You perched yourself up high on the tall bed, legs spread wide in the manner in which your mate was normally accustomed to. You watched his gaze fall from your eyes to your breasts to your spread cunt, so nicely prepared for the High Lord. “It’s your turn now, my love.”

He smiled, slowing his pace so he could watch the scene unfold before him. “And if I decide to tease you just as you had?” 

You ran your hand along the exposed edge of your neck, down between the valley of your breasts, then straight to your cunt. “You won’t.”

Eris cocked a brow, unable to tear his eyes away from you. He smiled at your boldness, though, heart thrumming in his chest - to which he felt warmth down the bond, undoubtedly sent by you. He inched closer, as if stalking a doe, and any movement too loud or too quick would scare you off. 

He knelt before you, hands on either of your thighs, spreading you open impossibly farther. From there, he peered up at you, eyes bright with desire, hungry for a taste. Your hand had fallen to his prominent cheekbone, brushing over the thin scar under his eye. “Will you be good for me?” You asked, so quiet you weren’t sure if he had heard you. 

But his pointy ears perked, as did his cock, at your gentle tone. Your eyelids nearly shut, watching him drunk with lust, lips parted, begging for a kiss. Eris nodded, a quick up and down, so subtle you would have missed it if not for your hand on his face. “I missed you so much, Eris,” you reminded him, tilting his head up, forcing him to meet your view. 

His hands kneaded the flesh of your thighs - gods, he loved touching you. “I missed you, too, (Y/N).” He kissed your calf, working his way up your leg kiss by kiss. Your fingers threaded through his hair, the mess of loose red hair that had been mucked up after the bath. “Missed touching you.” He kissed up your thigh, leaving a warm trail in his wake.

You sighed at the heat. “Will you treat me well, Eris?” 

He hummed, low and deep. He sent sparks through the bond, ones that spread from your chest to your spine, from your stomach to your cunt. “Forever, my love.”

“It’s been so long since you’ve touched me.” 

His mouth stopped at your pelvis, right where your leg stopped and your pussy began. He smiled, more to himself than you, it had only been three days - four at most. “Let me make it up to you, (Y/N).” 

With no further delay, he dove in, starting with a faint kiss to your clit; but the sudden contact had you clutching at his hair. With a few well placed licks, the male began unfolding you. 

He ran a wide stripe up your slit with his tongue, tasting everything you had to offer. He worked around your cunt, deciding to trace your opening. His tongue moved in and out, slowly testing the waters. You groaned, missing the attention on your clit and flexed your hips upwards, rocking up and down to fuck yourself on his tongue. 

You’d been wet since you’d had the idea to fuck yourself on his dick in the bathtub. But you carried through with your plan, clenching your cunt around absolutely nothing as you touched him, massaged him, sucked his long cock.

Eris’s eyes flitted upwards, watching your chest move with your ragged breaths, and saw how your chest turned pinker the wetter you became. He wound his arms around your thighs, holding you still, nuzzling his face in your pussy. “Please, Eris,” you sighed, pulling at the red stands locked in your fingers. He simply hummed, sending vibrations through your whole body. “Don’t you want to be good for me, my love?”

His cock twitched. 

He almost choked out a response, but thought it too terrible to remove himself from you to reply. So instead, he simply adjusted himself, rubbing the tip of his infuriatingly perfect nose against your clit. He continued to press his face against you, slurping at all you had to offer, when you released another strangled cry, laced in nothing but gentleness. “Thank you, Eris.” His name on your lips had him absolutely aching. “Such a good male.”

Gods, had the male been so touch starved, so hungry for praise or even the least bit of acknowledgement his whole life that that got him off? The sweet words on your tongue had him reaching downwards, grasping his throbbing dick.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, watching the male so blissfully at ease pleasing his mate. You noticed his arm shifting, moving up and down as he jerked himself off. It was a sight you normally were desperate to see, but it wasn’t in the plan for your evening. So you pulled yourself away, sliding out of his haphazard one-armed hold, and centered yourself on the large bed. Your legs remained spread as his eyes snapped open, albeit dazed. 

“Eris,” you warned, tone low with warning. His red eyes winderned, lips parted in confusion. His arm slowed, eventually stopping as he waited for you to continue. “Come here.”

You moved back a bit more, once he rose to his feet and knelt atop the bed before you. You could make out the glint of precum smeared on his cock and against his abdomen. His dick rocked as he waded across the bed towards you. “Don’t you want to be good for me?” You rested your head against the mountain of pillows, the ones you forbade the staff from changing while he was away - they still smelled of him: cedar and smoke, the fiery bergamot. 

He continued until he knelt before you atop the soft mattress, and offered you a nod once you splayed your legs once more. “I’ll be good for you,” he replied, head already sinking lower, offering your clit a wet kiss. 

Your eyes nearly rolled back in your head. “Then no touching.” You leaned forward, holding his shoulders until he surrendered his hands up to you, clutching your colder, smaller hands in his. You laid his hands on your breasts, giving the male some reward, in which he thanked you by kneading the soft flesh. 

Eris, ever the good soldier, continued on, this time focusing on your clit, lapping at your cunt. “Oh,” you breathed, bucking up against his face. “Good boy, Eris.”

Damn, Eris was at it again, as his cock demanded more attention.

His hips rocked back and forth, his curved cock rubbing against the thick duvet atop the bed. You sat back and watched, your mate desperate for reprieve. His frenzy was contagious, as you wanted nothing more than to have him run his cock over your wet cunt instead of wasting it on the mattress. 

Eris’s thumb ran over your pebbled nipple - satisfied with his plan earlier to not share too much warmth with you. But you were burning up, writhing in his arms as his tongue flitted back and forth across your clit, sparingly licking across the hole below, just to mix his spit into your pussy - gods, he wished it were his cum instead.

But you watched as he continued to get himself off, mesmerized by the curve of his strong back and his taught waist, the way his ass flexed and cock dragged against the expensive blanket. You hummed, earning the attention of the depraved male. He kept his face buried in the apex of your thighs, hands clinging for dear life on your chest, as his red eyes darted upward. “No, no, baby.” You traced over his knuckles, then his flexing forearms, down his bulging biceps, across his shoulders, and up to the arch of his brow. 

He stuttered and slowed his movements. “Sorry, my love,” he mumbled, placing a thousand kisses around your pelvis and across your lips. “It hurts,” he added, eyes pleading at you, peering just over your mound and stomach. He added one more rut for good measure, shifting the comforter below him. 

You hummed, taking his hands in yours and sitting up completely. Eris rose to his knees, towering over you, now on the same playing field as you. You tilted your head upward, neck craned back, and pursed your lips. His hands flew to your cheeks, holding you still as he smashed his lips to yours, kissing you like it’d be the last time. He tasted salty and sweet, he moaned at the thought of you tasting yourself on him. 

Your hands went to his chest, letting him only kiss you for a few moments, before you sat back and held your hand out over the bed. He laid on his back, legs splayed, hands open and waiting for you to climb into his lap. You tisked, throwing your leg over his chest. “I said no touching, right, my love?” The male bit his lip, nodding. You took his open hands, holding them above his head, pinning them to the mattress. 

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol that had him flushed, but the male was eager to please. You climbed over him, holding yourself just over his mouth. Eris, despite how much more physical he usually was with you, loved when you rode his face. 

Absolutely could not get enough of it. 

He met your clit immediately, licking softly, easing you back into it. Long, slow licks had you sinking on your knees, falling more and more, until you were no longer hovering, but seated on your male’s face. He sighed a breath of relief, purely blissed out. He only flexed a few times, forgetting that you restrained his arms with yours, but falling back against the bed quickly each time you murmured a soft, that’s it baby, or, his new personal favorite, good boy. 

He was so much stronger than you, so powerful after years of training - a battle hardened soldier and High Lord. You’d seen the strength first hand, when he held you high up, fucking you in the air, chest-to-chest with your mate; he’d flipped this position plenty of times before, so you knew he was really playing into it - not halting and taking control, but letting you have your way with him.

He was a male so beaten and broken, all he needed was a little praise.

And by the god’s you’d give it to him.

“Oh my love,” you cried out, leaning over him and pressing your cunt to his mouth. “Yes, Eris.” You called his name like a prayer, calling out for release as he ate your pussy like it was his only salvation. 

You’d cum seeing stars, accompanied by the continuation of Eris’s assault on your sensitive clit. His cheeks had to have been hollow, jaw aching as he didn’t stop, licking up everything you offered him. 

Your thighs shook, barely able to keep yourself up. The male was not complaining, clutching your hands in his as you leaned your weight mostly on to his caged arms. Your hips rocked at each lick, unsure if your body would even allow for the continuation of the charge, as Eris surely showed no signs of stopping. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Eris. God’s yes.”

He moaned, hips lifting slightly, cock bouncing against his abdomen. You extended a hand backwards, running your fingers delicately over the underside of his dick. A featherlight touch that had him lifting his hips higher, desperate for any friction your hand would offer him. “Please, please, (Y/N),” he moaned, biceps flexing and hips moving. 

You took a shaky breath and wrapped your fist around his cock, moving up and down slowly. “Good job, baby. That’s it, my love.” His tongue jutted in and out of you, relishing in the delicious taste of your cunt, and the delectable feeling of your hand on his aching dick. 

He moved faster, hips rocking so much you weren’t even moving your hand, just allowing him to please himself as he wished. “You want to be a good boy?” You whispered, threading your free handed fingers through his hair. Eris groaned, humming in affirmation, as his hands flew up to your thighs, holding onto you for dear life. He nodded vigorously, barely comprehending what you’d asked, caught up in the feeling of your hand on him. His precum had been seeping, begging for release, and had been smeared all over his cock, wet sounds echoed off the walls of the bedroom, spurring on his tongue as he continued fucking it in and out of you. “Then stop humping my hand.”

“It’s aching, (Y/N),” his voice cracked. You could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes as you looked down at him, still buried between your legs. 

“Then I’ll kiss it better,” you offered, posing yourself on your knees. He was reluctant to let go of your thighs. Perhaps he thought it was a trick, that you’d just edge him again, leaving him with balls bluer than the oceans of the Summer Court. “I promise I’ll make you feel better, my love.” 

You shifted, kneeling beside him as you watched him pull himself up on the bed. Eris nearly winced when you’d returned your hand on his dick, thumb brushing just under the aching head, somehow more precum leaked out. Instead of using your fingers to swipe it over his shaft, like you had so many times before, you licked it up, the wide base of your tongue wiping the slit clean. 

Eris released a strangled cry. You felt his cock throb in your hand - you weren’t sure how long he’d last. “Please, (Y/N). I’ve been so good,” he whined, staring at you with crossed brows, pleading for more, more, more.

“You have been good, baby,” you replied, fisting his cock faster. “So good - what do you need, my love? You need my pussy?”

He nodded, biting his bottom lip so hard you were sure he’d summon blood. 

“You want me to ride you, baby?” 

His fists gripped the sheets and eyes screwed shut; his muscled flexed with restraint. You thought it would be too mean to stop rubbing your fist up and down his cock, but as he vigorously nodded, you had no other choice. 

“You did so well for me, my love.” You paused only for a moment, swinging your leg over his lap and holding his cock up against your tight hole. 

He nearly came as you sat down, both of you sighed out in bliss as he entered you, and you found yourself fully seated on your mate’s cock. You moved up and down, relishing in the feeling of his long cock hitting deep inside of you, spreading you open perfectly. Your clit brushed against the fine hairs above his cock, earning a wince from you and your overstimulated cunt. Eris’s breathing had run ragged, unable to wait any longer for release. 

His hands found gripped your hips, fingertips dug deep into your sides as he lifted you up and down, bouncing you on his cock. You clenched around him - fire ran hot through his blood, and his dick warmed you in such a way that you’d felt cold and empty without him. “Yes, Eris, please, please - so good - ” You were choking on your own words, your legs shaking, you couldn’t even move yourself if you’d tried. 

But Eris, clearly unable to hold himself back any longer, clearly didn’t mind, as he fucked up into you with seemingly no avail. Your hands and arms wobbled as you braced yourself on his tensed chest, trying to give yourself some leverage - distance from his skin slapping your own raw. 

“That’s it Eris - ” Your thighs came together, cunt clenched around him like a vice as you squeezed your eyes shut and saw nothing but bright light. Your mate didn’t stop, rutting into you like the unfinished male he found himself to be.

“Fuck,” you’d cursed, barely able to open your eyes before Eris flipped you, throwing your back against the mattress and pounding into you. You couldn’t convince yourself to be mad about it. He was a strong male, afterall - impossible to be tamed.

His hand raked down your slide, you swore he’d lit you on fire. His touch left an inferno in his wake, sliding down from your side all the way to your ass and thigh, hitching your leg up behind his back. 

Eris fell to his knees, hovering over you, slamming his cock in and out of you, crying out to the mother for release. No - not to the mother. To you. 

“Please, (Y/N).” His breathing was unsteady, voice like gravel as he cried out to you. Despite the fact your game had ended, he grunted, waiting for your response - not faltering in his movements for a moment. “Please, please, please - ”

“Yes,” you gasped, hands winding around his neck, curling your arms around him. “Come for me, my love.” His forehead was pressed against your sweaty chest, eyes squeezed shut as his hips stuttered. He met your cunt to the hilt, fully seated inside of you as his come shot out in thick ropes, coating you entirely.

He rocked into you, arms winding between your back and the mattress as he held you impossibly closer. He picked up his forehead only to drop it against yours. Gods, he was burning up. The both of you shared come and sweat, melded into one Fae, as mates and more. 

He caught your lips with his, the softest of kisses - he didn’t move, didn’t prod with his tongue, no teeth and no biting. He took a deep breath, committing your sensual scent to memory, as he stilled inside of you. 

Eris couldn’t have been more relieved - more satiated. 

He looked like he could pass out at any moment. You brushed his red hair back, away from where it had fallen over his brow, and tucked the loose strands behind his ears. He pulled his head away, not without dragging a trail of kisses lazily across your jaw and cheek. His head fell against the mattress, and Eris awkwardly leaned on the plush sheets. Your legs were still a tangled mess, his cock still buried deep inside of you. 

You stared into his tired eyes, an embarrassed blush crawling up your cheeks. Your hand fell to his cheek and you caressed his smooth skin until a small smile laced his lips. “You’re such a good male.” Thanks for playing.

He let his head rest fully to the side as his eyes met yours. “That’s why I made you my High Lady.”