#their height isn't really accurate

[sunsetsushiii]

That one soukoku edit but make it dazatsu.

[pastel-medic]

The beloveds are together at last hehe 🤭 I thought Medic was gonna arrive later but I got surprised today! Once I get a proper shelf or display case for most of my figures (that are still in my closet since moving a couple years ago) I'll make a MedicSpy section just for them 😚💖

[akuma-tenshi]

i think this is one of the worst ones yet (original)

[sigskk]

happy holidays :)

[ID: A reddish monochrome drawing of Sigma and Chuuya from Bungou Stray Dogs. They are standing side-by-side and looking into the camera.

Sigma is on the left and is noticeably taller than Chuuya. He's wearing a reindeer headband and is dressed in a light turtleneck sweater and a thick overcoat.

Chuuya is on the right and is wearing his hat with a holly leaf and berry decoration on it. He's dressed in his standard button-up and trench coat.

The background is a muted, dark red with lighter snowflakes drifting down. End ID.]

[passwordispassword]

2/3 pieces I have finished in two days have included Slade fucking Wilson. this one counts.

[leenesomewhatdraws]

"Maybe we should consider the possibility of a... runaway"

"How dare you suggest that ?"

--

"Ah... All of a sudden, it feels as though something is crushing my heart"

--

Day 5: Hurt hehe >:)

What's worse in a missing case ? The possibility that a loved one's deceased and you may never find them ? Or that they decided to leave everything behind, including you, without a trace ?

!! I think this one is the one I'm the most proud of for now :)

[idiotmf]

Alien scientists who just really want to study you

Another one of my most recent favorites is my alien boy Xyon. Can you tell I'm a whore for 'y' in names? It's a curse, really.

Also, in case it's not blatantly obvious... I'm introducing characters and beings that I wanna write some good ol' smut on later. (▰˘◡˘▰)

For good measure: Minors scram, for the rest: there's going to be NSFW themes but they are more biological in nature.

A/N: Please feel free to point out typos and grammar wrongdoings so I can obsessively fix them. I write these on my phone and chances are I'm fat-fingering this tiny keyboard, since I use my thumbs for typing. Also, English isn't my first language, so there's also that.

This post is pretty long and covers a more in-depth explanation of this Alien species because I wanna use this as a reference sheet later...

Anyways, here's some random lore dumping about Xyon, Xenians and Xen'jai, their native planet.

As you may have already noticed, I loooooove naming patterns. In the previous post it was my shadow demon boys Aryllus and Oryllion, here it's Xyon, his planet Xen'jai and as you'll come to find, most of the other things related to his planet also start with an X. Here is why:

1. Language:

In the native language of Xenians, the X represents a prefix referring to a life form. Xenians are the people, Xen'jai is their planet, and Xyon is a person. Linguistically speaking, especially for humans, the X doesn't translate as such, it is a complicated sound that a human cannot reproduce and the closest possible sound for an accurate translation. (Can you tell I spend way too much time world building?)

Speaking of their native language, Xenians do not speak the same way as humans do; rather, they communicate via a mixture of various noises, including clicking and verbal sounds that could only be described as waving sheet metal in the air. Imagine this but less goofy and with various pitches, echoes and clicks.

For storytelling convenience, they of course possess a translator that can both pick up foreign languages and translate their own. Although I have one story where they just fully cannot communicate for a long time and that one's wholesome as heck.

2. Appearance:

Xenians are in principle considered humanoid. They have two legs, two arms, a head and a torso. Their posture is slightly different, due to the differing gravity on their planet, so their spines are entirely straight, rather than curved like a human's, which gives them a rather uncanny look at first glance. Although if you do meet a Xenian, honestly that is probably the last thing you notice about them.

The first thing is most likely their height. Xyon himself is between 2.5 meters (approx. 8'2) and 2.8 meters (approx. 9'2), which is considered average for a male of his species, with females being slightly taller on average at 3 meters (10 feet). A male Xenian, if threatened or putting on a mating display, can stretch its spine and torso to appear larger and more threatening. Females are incapable of doing so, but as larger and more intimidating presences, they have no need for it.

The bodies of Xenians are covered in fine, dark blue fur, even if it appears as skin to the naked eye of a human. Like the fuzz you have on your face, but more prominent.

Their gray skin underneath is almost leathery to the touch, which can be examined on their long, almost reptilian tails that serve multiple purposes, such as balance, showing emotions and affection, or can be simply used as an extra arm to grab onto things.

Their faces aren't exactly faces. It resembles more the face of a cat, featuring a short snout and a flat nose, although there are no visible nostrils, as Xenians have millions of microscopic openings in their noses to absorb and filter air. Just like felines, Xenians have sharp teeth and retractable claws, paw pad like palms and soles and most importantly, slit pupils, making some humans speculate that perhaps they are a species of highly intelligent bipedal felines. Xenians do not have whiskers or any of the like, since their tail does most of the work for them.

Unlike humans, Xenians do not wear clothes. Despite being a highly advanced race of what used to be carnivorous hunters, Xenians have no sense of embarrassment from appearing naked. They do wear an exoskeleton which serves various protective functions, however their genitals are sheathed, making Xenians appear genderless to the unschooled human eye.

3. Social Constructs:

Xenians are social creatures. They live in large groups, much like humans, often with their families until they are old enough to train for their purpose.

Unlike humans, Xenians are born with a 'purpose', a path chosen for them that they must follow; Xyon's purpose lies within studying intergalactic life forms. Thanks to their technology, calculations for things such as possible base intelligence, strength and overall health are possible before a Xenian even hatches, promoting not only the growth and increasing intelligence of an already highly advanced race but also unethical practices, such as culling of unhatched eggs with undesired traits. This may appear highly disturbing to humans but is extremely common and even considered a relief amongst Xenians, as they lay between five and twenty fertilized eggs that may hatch, yet only ever one to three Xenians hatch and reach maturity due to culling, keeping their race from overpopulating their rather small planet.

Xenians, while not the sole creatures of their planets, are the most intelligent, much like humans on earth. They have moved past their need for food, instead consuming gel-like substances with all their needed nutrients and calories, yet they will occasionally initiate fake hunts with competing parties as entertainment, much like a human would play a game of soccer with a friend. However, they do not kill any animals, rather using their own version of AI to calculate intricate escape routes and keep the game interesting.

While Xenians have both male and female as a base sex, gender and gender roles do not exist to the same extent as with humans. Taking care of hatched eggs is usually done by either of the parents, sometimes a different party entirely, as some Xenians live in mating groups. It is usually the male-coded Xenians that try to impress female-coded mates with their displays of stretching their torsos, however, same sex relationships are common, since mating isn't about offspring but mainly about spirituality.

Which brings us to the point you probably came here for lol...

4. Mating:

Unlike humans, Xenians mate for life, using pheromones present in their sexual fluids to claim each other once a bond is established. Mating is considered highly spiritual, finding a mate is an extremely important part of a Xenian's life.

As mentioned before, some Xenians will live in mating groups, featuring various different partners, which is a fairly new occurrence and sometimes frowned upon by followers of traditional mating practices, which are still upheld on Xen'jai but due to their beliefs in equality, those who frown upon this practice are usually frowned upon themselves.

Xenians with male genitalia possess two sheathed and usually hidden phalluses, which are extremely close together, like fingers on your hand. Both can be slightly moved and serve different purposes. The upper, smaller one can be quite similar to that of a human in both size and shape, it serves to fertilize eggs present in a Xenian with female genitalia, which renew with a new cycle of their native moons. This smaller phallus is extremely sensitive, much like a clitoris and the only of the two that can ejaculate.

The larger one on the bottom is solely used for pleasure, as female-coded Xenians have a mechanism that only allows for impregnation during heightened pleasure, thanks to an additional opening inside their equivalent of a vagina, which only stretches during arousal to let sperm through. Being used for pleasure, their larger phallus has evolved to be able to bring just that. It is both thick and long, covered in small bumps that secrete lubricant for ease of mating but also serve to stimulate the insides of their partners.

As you may be wondering, does a Xenian of the female sex have two vaginas, then? The answer is no. During mating, eventually both phalluses may be inserted into the female, which is a lot easier than you likely imagine, since their insides aren't as tight as that of a human (which is a delightful discovery Xyon makes when he gets to fuck a human for the first time).

Unlike female humans, Xenians do not possess a clitoris, another delightful find for Xyon, all of their pleasure is derived from the nerves inside of their vagina, most of them connected to the muscle that controls whether sperm can be let through or not.

Just like humans, Xenians have contraceptives, since sex is occasionally rather casual. They work differently, however. It is a gel, that must be applied to the smaller phallus, killing sperm as it comes out and blocking the production of mating pheromones that initiate a bond, by triggering the partner to release their pheromones as well. In case of a relationship that is made of two males, both must apply this gel, in case of female only, it is neither but can be triggered with a pheromone dispenser to initiate a female-female pheromone bond.

This is considerably longer than I thought it would be and I still left a lot out to shorten it... Like I didn't even mention that you have to teach him what kissing is and Xyon gets obsessed with it, or that they subconsciously wrap their tail around things and people they like, which... I'm sorry but that is adorable to me... (╥﹏╥)

At first I tried doing the cool headcannon thing some people do with bullet points but I just cannot keep myself short enough to do that*. I also just have a preference for flowing sentences, rather than bullet points. But man...

Anyways, yes, this is a reference sheet once I get into writing some good ol' Xyon x reader smut. (≧◡≦)

I also have another Xenian boi, Xenon, who is a geologist, rather than a biologist but he is still very new and there isn't a lot established yet. Xyon is far more fleshed out and I'm going to introduce him a bit more too, maybe along with some smut.

* as evident from this ending note lmao

Dear gods, I have so many established fantasy worlds I wanna share, so my next lore dump is probably in sight, if I'm not already writing another one.

[howtofightwrite]

Most traditional boxing instructors will tell you that if the opponent is taller than you, has longer arms than you, or is heavier than you, you're fucked and you need to stay extremely aware and work really hard to compensate for all the advantage he has over you.

In a recent forensic survey, it was determined that most traditional boxing instructors who get into real world altercations die when they're shot in the head.

This is the problem with a lot of these kinds of arguments. No one practices traditional boxing. At least, no one does so publicly. How do I know this? Because traditionally boxers fought in the nude. Yeah, we're not seeing that, are we? Now, maybe they meant bare knuckle boxing, but really no one does that either, these days. Boxing without safety equipment is not a particularly good idea, for fairly obvious reasons.

The only reason the word, “traditional,” is in the ask is to lend their statement unearned credibility. It's an attempt to make their statement sound more authoritative, without offering any evidence to support the statement.

Who said that?

“Traditional people did.”

Okay, but, 'traditionally,' people cleaned shit off their ass with a stick. So, maybe appealing to Hellenic sports isn't the best gauge of how a fight will play out.

Also, I know I just said it, but, who are these authoritative sports guys? Because they're not named. We're simply told, “most,” of them agree. Which starts to sound a lot like “four out of five dentists agree.” Who are these instructors? What do they teach? Why are the currently in prison for indecent exposure? And how much did you pay them to get their uninformed opinion? Salient questions which may need to be answered, if the original question wasn't invalid on its face.

Why do I say it's invalid?

Because boxing isn't fighting.

Boxing is a sport.

Boxing has rules.

Kick your opponent in the groin, or shin, and you're punished.

Step on their foot, push them, and watch them tumble to the ground before you start stomping on them, and you'll be punished.

Throwing your opponent will be punished.

And of course, as mentioned at the top, pulling out a gun and expanding your opponent's mental horizons is extremely frowned upon.

These are all things that can happen in a real fight.

These are all things that do not benefit from increased height or reach.

There is one genuinely accurate statement. In a fight, you do need to be very aware of what's going on around you. Everything else is the product of someone who's been punched in the head repeatedly until the CTEs got them thinking that boxing is analogous to a real fight in any way. (And, statistically, will probably end their career sitting in a jail cell over an aggravated assault charge, because their emotional self-control was completely destroyed by those same head injuries.)

The rules that boxers need to follow are designed to (somewhat) protect the participants. It reduces the dangers of a boxer being killed in the ring. In an observation that I would hope to be self-evident, those rules don't exist in actual combat.

It's also amusing, because the original Asker had to go so far as to single out an ill-defined, “traditional” boxing, because no other martial art they checked gave them the soundbite they wanted.

And, of course, women box. Historically, you could say, “traditionally,” there were even boxing matches between men and women. It wasn't until the 1880s that women were excluded from competitive boxing in the UK. (I'm not sure of the exact date when women were banned from boxing in the US, though that prohibition lasted for less than a century, before the modern return of women to the sport.)

So, either these “traditional instructors” don't know the history of their own sport... which doesn't sound particularly “traditional” to me, or they're full of shit.

My advice to everyone would be, maybe, don't take the advice of a sports coach about how he's secretly an absolute badass in all the delusional fantasies he's cooked up about how he'd like to inflict violence on others because they wouldn't date him.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[trippingontheescalator]

Which Classic Novel Should You Read Based on Your Fave Snape Pairing

Snily - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (1847). Let's see, a low class and abused, brooding Byronic leading man? Check. Madly in love with a woman who ends up marrying a snobbish rich man who looks down on our hero? Check. Obsessed with her even decades after her death? Check, check, and check. Oh, and let's not forget that the child the woman has with her husband shares her eyes. Hm, suspicious.

Snames - Pamela; or, Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson (1740). So, as a fellow snames fan, let's be honest with ourselves: all of our fics can be boiled down to "I can change him." We want James to be despicable, inhuman, and cruel to Severus, and then we want James to realize how disgusting he is and grovel at Severus's feet, because we are all basic bitches. So basic that one of the earliest novels in the English language is basically this. Pamela originated this trope.

Snirius - Deep Water by Patricia Highsmith (1957). Snirius fans are unafraid of dark, toxic relationships and unhappy endings, and, well, here's a book for you! Deep Water is about as toxic as you can get. It's about a man who murders his wife's lovers.

Snucius - Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw (1913). Alright, alright, so this isn't a novel, this is a play, but fans of this pairing definitely seem to be into the whole sugar daddy/"I can turn this feral street child into an elegant gentleman" kind of vibe, and this is what this play is all about. Audrey Hepburn is fantastic in the film adaptation My Fair Lady (1964).

Snupin - Bear by Marian Engle (1976). You Canadians are probably like, "What the fuck? Is my OTP a joke to you?" The answer is yes, but that's beside the point. Hear me out. The main character is an archivist who is very bad at relationships and kind of shuns society in general. Like our Snape. She ends up in the Canadian wilderness on an assignment going through a dead person's belongings. Also, this dead person kept a pet bear that our heroine now has to take care of. Our heroine begins to yearn for something wild, our pet bear is a literal bear, but also incredibly pathetic and docile just like Lupin. Anyway, the two fuck. Literally, she fucks a bear. THIS BOOK WON THE GOVERNOR GENERAL'S LITERARY AWARD. THAT'S LIKE CANADA'S PULITZER I THINK. None of you werewolf-fuckers should act shocked and dismayed by this. We all know how you really think Sirius's prank should have gone (in which instead of James rescuing Snape, Moony makes sweet sweet love to him).

Sorry, guys, no Snarry or Snamione. I don't really read those pairings so I can't give an accurate recommendation. But if you've got thoughts, add to this!

[quasimaddi]

Some studies when I was watching BCS for the first time. I really enjoy getting a good likeness, not just because it helps with recognizability of the fanart but also because it's a really fun challenge. Some tips on how I approach this:

You can see how I work through Kim and Jimmy's faces here: First I trace directly over screencaps from the show, focusing on marking the distance of each feature and its placement on their head shapes. How close is the brow to the eye, nose from the middle of the mouth, etc.

After tracing it out, I do some freehand sketches relying more on the shapes and proportions I've mapped out. The little arrows I've drawn next to some of the faces help me remember to keep note of the way certain lines or shapes curve into others. These are great things to exaggerate, because when you keep these things accurate and intact, the illusion of likeness comes through.

Whether you actively recognize it or not, your brain is always making connections to the negative space relationships between features almost as much as the shapes and positions of the features themselves.

Another thing I like to do is collect much more detailed, organized reference of the character I'm drawing and figure out the harmonies of the face. This is kind of a bastardized and oversimplified Reilly method, where I'll draw straight lines connecting each feature of the face to build landmarks. You can see me working though that here, with Barry.

I started figuring out his head shape, but I also found that the midpoint of his furrowed brow creates a triangle shape with the shape of his nose down to the edges of his mouth. Keeping this shape consistent, even in simplified/stylistic depictions of the character, means he will always be a little recognizable, because the part of your brain that knows what Barry looks like connects with that existing shape.

Playing with those abstractions can help you experiment with how you want a character to look. Don't worry if they don't look perfect. That's the fun of study. Here are a handful of Kimmies, each varying in % of likeness (and degrees of success), but all keeping some key points of her "design". You can see where I start to play with features, removing some things, tinkering with others.

Another little note...since we view these people through cameras, different focal lengths can affect the way their features are proportioned (take a look at the perceived width and height of Hader's enormous fucking head in the upper right corner compared to the adjacent images, for example)–– so this is a good way to keep that in check when you're doing studies. As always, this isn't drawing law. Draw fanart however you please, and feel free to discard all of this information! This is simply my approach, and it is fun for ME!

Thanks for reading.

This post brought to you by my Patrons, who saw this first on July 4 2023.

[claywriting]

Always at the right time

in which for four times Y/n saves our boy Freddy, and the one time he saves her.

Reader is a ravenclaw, but it's really not important

but she is also a Seer, and that is important

no sensible temes threated

and there isn't really a progression of their relationships, only a few kisses in the end

4800 words

Fred, he had never understood how this was possible.

He had sifted through a thousand and one solutions in his head, but they all led to the one, simple explanation: she was a witch. Of course, not the most brilliant of his reasoning, after all, his entire family were wizards, he lived in the magical world and had attended a school of magic based on raising young wizards and witches.

That should not have been the only answer he had been able to find.

Yet after years he still could not fathom how it was possible that every time, he found himself in trouble here was Y/n L/n to appear to get him out of it, in a quiet, nonchalant way that he had never explained. Well...let's be honest, not really every time, or else the poor girl would have spent the rest of her life running after Fred Weasley to solve whatever thorny situation he had caused. Certainly, a fate not desirable to many.

Often was a more accurate description.

However, often enough for the boy to notice her presence and begin to get curious.

Of course, intriguing Fred Weasley was not difficult, a far more impressive accomplishment would have been to actually manage to keep him out of trouble; but even attracting his attention long enough to get his nose out of his pranks and the Quidditch manoeuvres he had to learn, that too was an accomplishment, perhaps not mind-blowing; but at least noteworthy.

And it seemed that Y/n had succeeded splendidly, on her own, without anyone's help. But more importantly, without the boy understanding how it was possible.

It had all started years earlier, two to be exact.

Although thinking about it, with all that had happened, it seemed a lifetime earlier. Centuries and centuries of water had passed under the bridge.

So here is the story of how four times Y/n saved Fred, and how, for a change, the once he saved her.

1.         Hogwarts, February 1996

The Weasley twins were in the throes of another one of their exploits; at the height of dinner the corridors of the castle were always deserted. This was, surely, a great advantage for them; the perfect time to organize their pranks was definitely during mealtimes. When the professors, and the nosy students, would gather in the great hall, too busy looking after the food on their plates, to notice the absence of the two identical Weasley brothers.

This was something they had learned in their first year. And they had not forgotten it since.

The two of them had now developed the skill necessary to work in the most perfect silence, their shirt sleeves rolled up above the elbows so as not to soil them, their ties loosened to allow them to breathe with ease in the eagerness given by the adrenaline rush that the risk of being caught injected into their veins.

It had always been, besides the great satisfaction they felt at seeing a successful prank, one of their favourite moments this.

The one in which adrenaline releases discharges in the heart from the anxiety of being discovered, the blood pumps faster in the veins, the palms and forehead sweat slightly, and you feel alive as if riding a broomstick descending at full speed to the ground. A feeling of pure life.

Of course, the risk of getting caught was more concerning getting caught red-handed; they knew perfectly well that regardless, the blame would fall on their red heads, knowing that, in the school, no one was able to play left-handed shots equal to what their brilliant minds were capable of processing.

But, in any case, without evidence they were not going to face any consequences. Most of the time.

The silence of their hustling was interrupted by a voice humming in the hallway, quick footsteps approaching, clatter of heels against stone that would have made even a werewolf's hair stand on end.

"Shit." It was the first word that slipped out of George's lips, who in an instant was on his feet ready to make his escape. "Fred, it's Umbridge, we have to go."

"I've almost-" murmured the other, still on his knees, connecting god knows what to a small box placed against the woman's office door "done." He said exultantly, rising to his feet.

Time was short, they both knew, and the twins launched into a run, just far enough away from the office not to be caught right at the scene of the misdeed, but, possibly, close enough to hear the result of their prank.

They took refuge around a corner, one aisle over. Their robes under their arms and two identical smiles on their lips.

The explosion and the stinking cloud came like a melody to their ears.

The screams that followed it were the icing on the cake.

What made their laughter go sideways, however, were the voices that immediately began to squawk; the woman was not alone. And footsteps approached, swiftly.

A brief glance at the two was enough for them to turn around and start running at full speed as far away from there as possible, the Gryffindor common room an ideal place to hide after the stunt they had just pulled. That was the plan.

George, in the lead, was running at breakneck speed with his twin at his heels, his ears pounding from the blood pumping desperately from the adrenaline in his system, and from the possibility of actually getting caught this time.

It took him a few minutes to realize that his brother was no longer following him, when he almost reached the portrait that led to his common room, in truth.

Fred, who had fallen behind, had slipped taking a particularly bad turn, crashing to the ground and going crashing with a particularly loud thud against one of the wooden doors that littered the castle, one of the many unused storage rooms.

The boy had stood there, admittedly a few seconds too long, massaging his head, when the door had swung open and a hand grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, pulling him inside before said hand was pressed over his mouth.

From below Y/n, she looked at him for a few moments before smiling; a smile that in all honesty was rather shabby for being that of a young woman whom Fred had never seen behave in a way that was not adorably kind to everyone. Always with a ready answer in class and always with a kind smile for anyone, whether they deserved it or not.

In silence the young woman raised a finger bringing it to her lips and leaned it against herself before whispering.

"Be quiet Weasley, if we get caught we're both in trouble."

With a mixture of admiration and confusion he obeyed, pressing his back against the heavy wooden door, trying to escape the human heat the young Ravenclaw emanated, in the cramped space. He, who was already sweating with his heart pounding from the run, found himself blushing hard when she gently pushed him aside as far as she could before pressing his ear against the door to listen to the hallway, waiting until the way was sufficiently clear. They remained in that position, pressed against each other for an indefinite time, before she raised her kind eyes to his and with a smile announced that the way was clear. She even offered to accompany him to his common room, constituting a credible alibi for him.

2.         Diagon Halley, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, September 1996

The store that day was almost deserted, the picture of tranquillity, with the students having left the week before for Hogwarts only a few mothers with their small children, still too young to follow their future classmates, entered the doors of the Weasley brothers' store. That, then, was a dull day.

George had disappeared almost an hour earlier to the workshop behind the store, leaving his twin alone to manage the area in front, which had soon translated into Fred, bored as few times in his life, almost lying on the bacon drumming his fingers on it as his gaze wandered lazily around the shelves of his empty business. He puffed for what seemed to him the thousandth time, searching, almost desperately for something to do. He already missed the throng of young students crowding inside those four walls ready to spend their money to buy a laugh, as the two notorious troublemakers liked to say.

Without those cheerful young heads, the world was too lazy.

He wondered again if they should not have opened in Hogsmeade, make a cheeky competition to Zonko. 

He drummed on the wooden counter once more as, yet another sigh left his lips.

He had to find something to do, or he would go crazy with boredom.

The best idea that occurred to him was to rearrange the tall shelves that reached from the base of the store almost to the ceiling, covered with objects with the most disparate uses and uses.

Yes. That was a good idea.

So he did, in an instant the boy rolled up his sleeves and began climbing up a ladder as narrow as it was rickety. He thought he could replace it later.

Lo and behold, suddenly his good humour was back, sitting on his hands was not really his thing, setting up the store, talking to customers, inventing new tricks, even cleaning up on the floor. Everything was preferable to having to, simply, wait for something to happen. That, surely, was the worst feeling he could be forced to experience. Of that, he was sure.

After all, he had already grown accustomed to the throngs in his store, to the cheerful shouts of young wizards and witches realizing that they had a need for something that until a few hours before they did not even know existed, or that they could buy. He had already grown accustomed to the grateful smiles of people who bought something from him, whether it was a potion of some sort, an explosive prank, or some candy that Honeydukes supplied to the twins at a favourable price, having been offered by them as a reseller for the candy store in the capital.

Yes, after all, their work was proceeding well, but those days, during office hours when people were working and not really buying, left him in low spirits.

These thoughts crowded his head as he absentmindedly slid the cardboard packages off the shelf in the wall, stacking them with less care than he should have had, under one arm. His head had always wandered to the most disparate places while he did simple manual labor, allowing him not to get bored by staying focused on what he was thinking, rather than what he was doing. Of course, this was not limited to introspective thoughts about boredom, but much more often traveled with imagination. He wondered if he and his brother might one day expand their business. It would have been nice to open more branches, perhaps around the world. Already he could see himself, him, a billionaire.

He was reminded of a drawing he had once seen while strolling through Muggle London with friends, a duck in a hat taking a bath, in a tub full of gold coins.

Sooner or later, he would have to try it, too.

He smiled to himself, absentmindedly stacking yet another box under his arm. The bombs that were contained inside were not powerful enough to cause serious damage to people and objects if taken individually. Of course, the thought that having six of them in one package, with already four packages under his arm plus one in his hand as he worked absent-mindedly was not a safe situation had not even crossed Fred Weasley's mind; in all honesty, it was George who was the more safety-conscious twin of the two. The one who weekly prevented both of them from blowing up irretrievably at the very least, obviously could not always prevent every trouble, or explosion.

So, when the bell set above the door rang Fred had no half-hearted qualms about leaning out of his already rickety stepladder to see who had walked through the door of his store. A toothy grin at the thought that, at last, a customer would snatch him from the day's deadly boredom.

This was just yet another in his long list of mistakes that morning, which began with not immediately fixing the stepladder, followed by absent-mindedly working with explosive material in hand, and ended with jumping like a puppy at the arrival of a customer.

Needless to say, he slipped ruefully from that ladder.

The ground beneath him approached at staggering speed, the boxes still more or less clutched in his hand the boy closed his eyes, bracing himself for impact with the lacquered wooden floor they had paid so much for when they had built the store.

Whether he died or survived, George would have killed him for ruining it, he was certain.

Instead, what he had not expected happened, a waving of wands, a gentle voice releasing the right spell at the right time. A perfectly executed Arresto Momentum, and, in front of him, Y/n smiling, while he remained stuck in midair like a subspecies of idiot.

"You should be more careful, Fred Weasley," smiled the former Ravenclaw, sweetly, "remember, they teach you that in first year. Stairs, they like to change."

3.         The Burrow, August 1997

The wedding was what one might have called a veritable daydream. Bill in his suit, with his new wife clutched at his side was the picture of utter and complete joy; Fleur shone as if emitting her own light. Fred, who, in his years, had seen even too many sappy, melancholy couplets for his liking, had had to admit to himself that the two of them, no matter how nauseous and/or diabetic they made him feel at intervals, were in perfect harmony together.

There was no denying it.

The air was imbued with joyous excitement, perhaps even a good dose of alcohol, as Fred thought advancing among the wedding guests. Sunlight filtered through the foliage of the trees, dancing on the elegant white curtains that adorned the garden of the Weasley mansion, the magical atmosphere was undeniable. For Fred's taste there were a few too many undeniable things that evening, he thought as the sun set over the horizon, one hand sunk into the pants pockets of the suit he had purchased for the occasion and a glass of wine in the other. And most of all, a huge sword of Damocles hanging right above his head, ready to fall on him should he attempt to pull one of his cheap shots on the day of his brother's wedding.

He was certain that his mother would kill him.

The laughter and cheerful voices of family and friends filled the air, mingling with the sweet sound of music coming from the band playing on the makeshift stage. Fred watched with a mixture of emotion and melancholy as his loved ones exchanged loving hugs and bright smiles.

The scene was alive with a multitude of colours, with the vibrant floral decorations adorning every corner of the garden. Garlands of fresh flowers wrapped the tree trunks, while scented candles that had lit the path to the altar were replaced by the tables that had welcomed guests for the banquet after the ceremony.

Despite the looming shadow of war, in that moment, Fred could not help but smile comforted by his family around him and the unassailable joy of such a festive day. Quietly he took a sip from his glass shifting his gaze to Ron dancing with Hermione, his brother’s-stricken look wringing an amused laugh from him, so busy was the little Weasley dancing carefully so as not to step on his friend's toes, that she surely would not forgive him the affront.

The guests' elegant dresses swayed lightly in the breeze, while the scent of the delicious banquets enticed those present to indulge in a feast for the senses. The plentiful and delicious food, served on tables adorned with white linen tablecloths, offered a wide selection of culinary delights that satisfied every taste and desire.

The happiness of that evening on interrupted not long after, when a patronus burst into the middle of the banquet, announcing the most terrible of news on such a cheerful day.

The minister of magic was dead, the ministry had fallen, and the Death Eaters were coming for them.

Immediately there was panic, people screaming, chairs toppling over. His family clutched at each other, but, while still remaining Gryffindors, each of them tried to do their best to help people escape, to protect as many guests as possible.

He saw with a distracted eye Ron pushing Hermione behind him, the wand clutched in his hand with such force that Fred for a moment feared he would break it. Bill, taking his bride and clutching her to his chest, his eyes promising fire and flame. His parents try to find each other, shaking hands, ready to give battle.

In the corner George and Ginny stood back-to-back, wands in hand and spells already flying, striking the firsts Death Eaters to arrive on the scene.

For an instant his head spun wildly, for an instant the ground missed under his feet.

But it was an instant too long because when he recovered, he found himself on the wrong side of a wand, pointing in his direction, and a spell being fired at him.

Nor did he know what to do, so he simply closed his eyes, trying to raise his arms to keep from getting hit, waiting for the pain that-which did not come.

A roar not far away brought him to his senses, moved by instinct he picked up his wand, opening his eyes again only to find the familiar figure of Y/n in front of him. The girl had her back to him, her wand raised; clearly the spell that would have otherwise affected him had been deflected by her, but... how?

He had only a few moments to look at her, briefly. Her hair was pulled back into a dishevelled tail still damp, she was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and her feet were bare.

Fred did not understood.

He was sure she was not at the wedding... how had she apparate there just in time to deflect that spell? At the exact moment when it should have hit him, she had appeared out of nowhere and, once again, saved him.

The only question was, how?

He naturally had no time to ask, because as soon as he could compose himself just enough to close the mouth that had been left open from surprise, the young woman turned around, barely looking at him from over her shoulder. After making sure the boy was all right, she gave him a smile and a wink, promising that "They would have talked about it later." And, she added, to the surprise of Fred, who came out rather red in the face that "That outfit looked really good on him."

The boy found himself momentarily speechless, still in disbelief at what had happened. He watched Y/n as she walked away as light as a feather amid the chaos of battle, her figure disappearing into the fighting crowd. A thrill of gratitude ran through him as he realized how lucky he was.

Or perhaps there was something else behind it, something eluding him, just beyond his fingertips.

He had no way of finding out that night.

4.         Hogwarts, May 1998

The battle had been raging for several hours now, in every corner it was possible to find Death Eaters clashing with members of the Order of the Phoenix, desperate students, Aurors, and Hogwarts allies who had been summoned from wherever they could be reached on short notice and in a great hurry. Fred, was following his brother through the chaos of battle. The roar of duels and the heat of explosions filled the air, mingling with the screams of rage and pain. He felt alive; charged with adrenaline, but at the same time worried for the safety of his friends and family.

The lifeless bodies lay scattered on the ground, and in each of them, for a moment the boy saw a friend, a family member, an acquaintance, someone he had loved. His wand moved with precision and determination as he cast spells against the approaching Death Eaters.

Every movement was quick and instinctive, but he knew he could never let his guard down, aware that a mistake could be fatal.

The smoke and dust obscured his vision, the heavy air scratched his throat forcing him to stop from time to time, and it was only when he rejoined with

Percy was beside him, fighting with the same ferocity and determination.

The two smiled as they saw Ron and Hermione arrive, while Percy, with an arrogance that was natural in him announced to the minister, that was being thrown against the wall, that he was resigning, while Fred laughed in amusement.

"Percy! You made a joke!" the boy burst out laughing, shifting his gaze to his brother "Did you really make a joke? The last one I heard you make was..."

But he could not finish the sentence, an explosion behind them carried away the rest of his amused comment.

Fred looked up, from the floor. His ears were ringing, perhaps an eardrum had ruptured. The dust from the wall that until a second before was behind him was still falling from the sky, and around him Harry, Ron, Hermione and Percy were also having trouble regaining control over their bodies, which had been thrown hard against the ground.

He grunted, sore, shifting his gaze to the wall, now reduced to rubble, and, to his enormous surprise, found a person standing just in front of him. Standing wide-legged, with her jeans broken in several places, covered with soot and dirt, her soft hair matted with blood, sweat and who knows what else. There, above him like a warrior angel, but pale as a corpse, was Y/n.

Once again, the girl had, seemingly, appeared out of nowhere, conjuring up a shield just in time to protect him and the rest of the group from the explosion that was sure to hit them.

The girl silhouetted before them with fierce determination in her eyes, her figure dirty and wounded but still standing and ready to fight, while he lying on the ground stared at her, incredulous, surprised by her timely presence and grateful at the same time. His heart was pounding in his chest as he tried to understand how it was possible that she was there, at that crucial moment, to protect them.

"Y/n..." whispered Fred, his voice cracked with emotion and astonishment. "Thank you."

Y/n looked at him with intense eyes, full of determination, before turning a tired yet satisfied smile on him, a reflection of the gratitude she felt for having arrived in time to protect the group.

"Save it. There is no time to stay here," she said with a firmness in her voice that did not belong to her, yet her voice like a fresh balm after the wounds of battle, "we must move."

With a nod, she indicated for them to follow her limping figure, she held out her hand to each of them, holding Fred's in hers, unable to let go as they moved through the rubble and chaos of battle.

Fred nodded, understanding the urgency of the situation. There was no time to linger in thanks or questions.

They needed to focus on survival, on winning the war that had been going on all night, but caught up in a rush the boy leaned down, taking her face in his hands and planting a kiss on her lips, quick, almost a blink.

"Later, you'll explain how you always come at the right time." He murmured, taking her hand back in his, bringing his attention back to the rest of the group who had shifted their gaze in embarrassment.

The girl for her part was reduced to a smouldering heap, red in the face and downcast-eyed. A stupid smile on her lips.

The moment of truth came a few hours later, at the end of the battle the two found themselves in the great hall. In the rush of the last fight they had separated, both of them remaining so distressed that if they had not found each other again as soon as possible one of them would have had a heart attack.

Thus, when the girl crossed the threshold of the great hall it was the red-haired figure that was the first one she caught sight of, and he threw himself at her at the speed of sound, catching her in his arms with an emphasis that lifted her off the ground, and holding her so tightly that her bones creaked under the pressure of the boy's embrace. They stood like this, in the doorway, for a few minutes before he led her to a somewhat secluded table, retrieving from somewhere a clean handkerchief and some water to cleanse the conspicuous wound that the young woman wore on her forehead like a badge of honour, while he smiled with a split lip and a black eye so obvious that it would have been visible even from the other side of the castle.

"I believe you owe me some explanation now." He commented softly, gaining her attention as she moved from the bodies delicately arranged in the room with care and attention.

The blush grew on her cheeks as she blushed.

"I-oh, for merlin's panties. I'm going to sound really, really scary. Keep in mind that this is not something I control, please."

He, let out a laugh.

"I'm sure I can handle it. Tell me, come on."

“I’m a seer.” She blurted out, “I can see the future, really well in some cases. Accidentally, those cases involved you… getting hurt. Like, really hurt.”

She started blushing, her eyes low on the floor.

“And… and I could not allow it you know? I… I do care for you, really. So I was… not so accidentally always there when I knew you would have ended up… bad?”

The boy sat still, for quite a while, before exploding in a laugh.

“So, I was almost right, you are a guardian angel!”

5.         Hogwarts, september 1992

To say that she was insecure on that broom was, absolutely, an understatement. Although she was in her third year of school now, Y/n was still a mess when it came to matters pertaining to flying.

The thing, it troubled her.

So, she had gone to the quidditch pitch together with a few friends, hoping to get the hang of it, with all those flying brooms without, possibly, making a fool of herself in the eyes of her far more experienced classmates.

Needless to say, her plan had foundered within the first fifteen minutes.

In no time, she had gone from hardly being able to lift herself off the ground to darting through the sky holding onto her broom with the purest of terror in her eyes. Unable to control her vehicle, she had simply been stuck in the air with her eyes clenched shut and tears stinging. Certain that she would have died there.

So great was her terror that she had not even noticed a foreign body approaching her, two in fact. George and Fred Weasley could have many virtues, minding their own business was not one of them.

So when the sight of a trembling girl stuck in the air had struck their eyes neither of them had thought twice about approaching her, perhaps to tease her a little, perhaps to tell her to move out of the way because Gryffindor team practice was about to begin and she would be in danger of getting hurt.

The important thing is that, she, she expected anything but to hear someone's voice speaking into her ear a few dozen feet above the ground.

The terror was so great that she jerked, on her broom. Letting her go with a scream that would have made a banshee's blood run cold.

This, was her second mistake of the day.

Losing the, precarious, control of her broom, which was keeping her suspended in the air the girl simply plummeted.

The ground was approaching her at such a speed that the world around appeared only as a series of indistinct colors and flashes, so Y/n, simply closed her eyes, waiting for an impact that would break who knows how many bones.

But what she felt instead was two arms grabbing her so fiercely that they pushed all the air out of her lungs with an unladylike oof, and the smell of gunpowder and smoke from Fred, who had caught her on the fly and was now holding her pressed against his chest.

"You should be more careful," he said with a laugh, "Good thing I was here at the right time."

perhaps this one day will become a complete fic with chapters and really progression of the relationship

[forbiddenforestofdesire]

Summer of Stancest: Unlikely Lovers

It wasn't that they were twins that made it unlikely.

“Stanley, you knucklehead! You spent thirty years in my house and you didn't bother keeping my glassware in order?!”

”Well, excuse me Poindexter, for having other priorities. Like fixing the Portal.  And making sure you had a house to come back to.”

“You're excused. And what is this I hear about you marrying a statue in my name?!”

It's that they were so stubborn, it never would have worked out.

“I call shotgun!”

“No, Stan! You call shotgun every time. It's my turn to sit in the front!”

“Snooze you lose, Sixer!”

“Stanley, let your brother sit up front. He's earned it. And Ford, don't stick your tongue out like that, you look like a hooligan.”

"Yes, Pa."

And it seemed like arguing was a competitive sport.

“You need to go 35 degrees starboard.”

“I know what I'm doing, Stanley. My navigation device hasn't failed me yet. It's accurate..”

“Yeah? Well, Magellan, the Earth based gps says you're going the wrong way.”

”Oh, yeah? Do you want to come over here and see for yourself?”

But when it really matters…

“If you've got anything to say to my brother, say it to my face! No? You wanna piece of this?”

"Stanley's not stupid! If you don't want to help him pass, maybe you're stupid!”

They are a team. 

”Ford! I got the rope! I can't hold on too long, get out that damn journal of yours and start chanting!”

“Stay with me Stanley, yes, I know it hurts, but don't go to sleep. Look at me. Do you remember that story you told me, when we were kids? When we saw Treasure Island in the cinema, and you made a version with us? I was Jim Hawkins and you were Silver?”

“Who says cinema?

“I don't have to stop your bleeding, you know. Hey, what did I say? No sleeping until we take care of that concussion.

You could say, they were soulmates.

“Well, the kids are in bed. I got us a DVD of that nerd movie you wanted to check out.”

“I’d hardly call Interstellar a ‘nerd movie’ but Fiddleford told me he found it entertaining. Perhaps the gaffs and inaccuracies will be fun to point out.

"Sure.  Let’s watch your thing first, then tomorrow, we’re watching Pride and Prejudice."

“Again? Can't we at least try Persuasion, or Mansfield Park?"

“I like what I like, don't tell me you're not a sucker for that scene where Darcy helps Elizabeth in the carriage?

”Alright. I'll get the blanket Mabel knitted.

But lovers?

“You sure you want to do this Poindexter?”

“More than anything.

”But it's…”

"I don't care. I don't care what anyone thinks, not anymore. Who's out here to judge us anyway. I…I understand if you don't feel this way, and I promise I'll never bring it up again.”

“Oh, what the hell's Kiss me, you idiot.

Lovers seems well, unlikely.

“Yes, yes yes! Oh, like that. Ah…ah!”

“You got where you wanted to go, huh? Told you I knew you'd like that.”

“Don't ruin the moment, just…just hold me.”

“As you wish.

Lovers?

“Why did you bring me to the top of this lighthouse?”

“It's been exactly one year since we started our adventure, Stanley.

“And? Why are you getting on your knee? I know we wanted to try stuff in public, but you know how I feel about heights.”

“Don’t be gross. I…well, I got you something.

“Is…is that a new gold chain?"

“As tacky as they are, I know if I made you choose, you'd choose them over me. So, I made you one. I know you aren't the type for rings…”

“Ford, get up. You already had me at the part where you got me a new chain…wow, you went all out. Looks 24k. What does it say on the back?”

“Read it yourself.”

“Oh, Sixer. Yes. Even if we can't officially…you know I…I….”

“I love you too, Stan. And thank you. For making me so happy.

Maybe the word Lover isn't enough to really describe what they are.

[bunabi]

i mightve missed something but i'm curious, what did you mean by the character models being one head shorter in veilguard?

Sorry in advance for how locked-in I'm about to sound 😭 but there's no way to explain it well without really getting into it Someone made a comparison on Twitter with a DAI Inquisitor and a DAV Rook, but because the examples are from two different angles it's not 100% accurate

Instead of directly comparing their heights, it's better to explain the proportion thing by looking at how many heads tall Rook & the Inquisitor are, then refer to this handy figure drawing guide.

All bodies are different etc etc, this just details how head size typically correlates to height and age.

I didn't notice how slight but significant the difference was until I grabbed some DAV screenshots and shrunk their heads by mmm 20 pixels or so. Here's Neve & Rook:

And here they are unedited:

This isn't to say one is better or worse than the other, but there's definitely been a change in their proportions. Okay this post is over lol.

[toffeebrew]

tell me your Ink headcanons NOW 😼😼😼

You're... giving me permission.... to share my ink headcanons.

well get ready

Talked about this one already but I'll share it again: I think Broomie is semi sentient. I like to think at first Ink didn't know that though, but still talked to broomie anyway. So, regardless of this fact Ink probably would've talked to broomie.

He's good at encouraging people but not comforting people. If that makes sense? (projection much pfttt)

If you ran your hand over the "tattoo" marks it have a slight divot in it. Like a crack in a road. Probably because... in my hc they're literally semi healed cracks.

They're is talented in many types of art not just one. Hes talented in singing, dancing, fashion design, mechanics, and architecture! Really the only one he struggles with is well... cooking. Do NOT let that man in a kitchen (I mean he's immortal why would he not learn multiple artistic skills?)

Y'know how canon!swap climbs on people because hes insecure about his height? I think Ink does the same thing.

(More yappening under the cut)

Deep down he feels like something is missing... what he doesn't know is he's missing his home, his AU. Sometimes hes goes on a search universe to universe in search of "something important he can't remember" but can never find it. Until he gets bored, forgets what he's doing or gets preoccupied with something else.

He likes switching up his looks so he may give himself a tail or paws or claws with his brush. Maybe he even changes the color of his limbs sometimes (that's more a crack hc though). He gives themself a new outfit at any chance he can get. (Edit: I actually imagine one of the reasons he would get excited for multiverseal events is mainly because he gets to show off a new outfit for that event. He goes ALL out)

Due to his dulled sense of pain often he isn't aware he's injured unless it's pretty severe. So he may just go about their day with injuries they don't know about. Typically Dream or Swap have to be like "dude you have a crack in your skull."

After that one comic with Swap and Ink, Swap bandaged up his skull despite Ink insisting he didn't need it. Mainly because Swap didn't know Ink could heal themself and just thought Ink was being humble. Everytime he went to go take it off, Swap would freak about it hasn't had enough time to heal. Until Ink did a more through "I have a brush bro chill" (not ink accurate dialogue).

He's super flexible!! like contortionist level of flexibility.

Oddly specific but I think they're the type to consume all sorts of fan content and enjoy it. Completely ooc and fanon stuff too. He would be the type to read a fic and go "I would NOT say that" with a giggle and write a heartfelt comment anyway.

If you know homestuck... Nepeta has a shipping wall. I think Ink would have something similar (projection?? blasphemy!). Maybe in his sketchbook or smth. I mean do you see how he reacts around his dads smh 😔😮‍💨. He doesn't take it all that seriously though... LMAO. But I feel like he would be like "🏳️‍🌈?" y'know? Is this making any sense? I hope LMAOOO

Ink knows being called "child" annoys Dream so when Dream's like "I'm not a child I'm 500 years old" he just uses different synonyms of kid " heya youngster" " hi boy" stuff like that to annoy him. Just to mess with him.

He loves "aggressive affection." Like he bites people. He also likes to be bitten (not in a sus way but like in a cat like way). He loves bear hugs. Stuff like that.

He loves being drawn on, like literally. He loves the sensation of art supplies on his bones. Particularly the texture of paint and pencil are the ones he enjoys the most. He draws designs and stuff on his bones sometimes.

He has that cartoon ability to walk on walls or the ceiling and completely defy gravity. How? Cartoon skelly powers ig.

[pep-the-artemis]

Murder Drone Heights calculated with Maths

So previously I said Uzi was 127cm (4'2") and Doll was 132cm (4'4") but I realised while rewatching the show that i was really off.

Uzi is a lot shorter than that. So what is Uzi's and the rest of the casts height? Well we can first find a bunch of comparison shots with Uzi and other characters.

Lines have been drawn from the heels to the top of their heads. Using these images we can construct ratios of the characters heights relative to each other.

Doll : Lizzie = 7.94 : 8.29

Uzi : Doll : Lizzie = 3.87 : 4.82 : 4.33

Bully : Uzi = 9.17 : 7.04

Uzi : Kahn = 6.82:7.89

There is one problem, in all the shots the characters are standing next to each other except Uzi : Doll : Lizzie were they're standing different distances from the camera. Since distance from camera and scale factor are directly proportional, we can determine the distances Doll and Lizzie are from the camera which create the ratio 1 : 1.16 .

Now we have to determine how far Uzi is from the camera with respect to Doll but that's not easy since I was unable to accurately determine the vanishing point, we can only estimate fortunately that won't affect the final outcome that significantly. Comparing heels, Uzi is 2 times closer to Lizzie than she is Doll, so she is 1.11 from the camera with respect to Doll.

Using there apparent heights (3.87 : 4.82 : 4.33) and distances from the camera (1.11 : 1 : 1.16), we ca determine a ratio for there actual heights, 4.30 : 4.82 : 5.02 .

Using this information we can combine all there heights into a single ratio to get the ratio of heights of Uzi : Doll : Lizzie : Kahn : Bully as 1 : 1.12 : 1.17 : 1.16 : 1.30 but this isn't much use without a height of one of the characters.

From the missing posters, we can estimate most Worker Drones are around 132cm (4'4").

For reasons, I am determining that Lizzie is ~132cm (4"4'). Using this information we can determine the heights of all the characters.

Uzi - 112cm (4'0")

Doll - 126cm (4'2")

Lizzie - 132cm (4'4")

Kahn - 131cm (4'4")

Bully - 137cm (4'6")

If this post gets good numbers I will probably do this for the entire cast not just these 5 random few.

[toastedjeans]

Siren Tower AU!

I wanna keep this more on the silly side, but here's the basic gist of it.

There's a huge tower submerged in the ocean where many sirens and other sea creatures have found a home, and somehow humans have discovered it. They want to study and explore this tower, and the sirens are NOT happy about it, not wanting their home to be potentially destroyed. Pretty reasonable. But now, this random middle aged pizza baker somehow gets roped into this whole mess.

And here's the characters! (I tried to keep their heights accurate but idk if i succeeded)

And down there is some more info about everyone!

HUMANS (and Brick)

Peppino

He still has his pizzeria, but it's located a little closer to town. While business is slightly better than in game, he still has debts. But hey, he has his own apartment!! No more sleeping in the back of the pizzeria or on the floor!!

Peppino will sometimes just come to the shore or the port in the evening or at night to clear his head or be alone with his thoughts. Depressed guy. Will sometimes talk to himself when he thinks he's alone. He isn't necessarily afraid of the ocean, but because he can't swim, once he's in water the fear kicks in and he starts panicking.

He doesn't believe in sirens, mermaids, or other such creatures. Thinks they're just made up to tell scary stories of the sea. Jokes on him, he's about to meet the jolliest shark gnome man he's ever seen.

Brick

A gigantic rat that lives with Peppino, who didn't get a say in this. Just appeared one day, and no matter how many times Peppino tries to get rid of him, Brick always comes back. After a while Pep reluctantly accepts him and sometimes even takes him for a walk.

Brick actually loves to swim, but doesn't stay in the water for too long cause Pep won't join him. Like, he'll just leave if Brick stays too long. Kinda rude if you ask me.

Mr. Stick

Tax and debt collector, and a friend of Peppino. He often comes over for a pizza, then proceeds not to eat much, and rarely pays (he either says he's deducting it from Pep's debts or he lets someone else pay). He's kind of a piece of shit but outside of the whole money business he can be pretty nice.

He strikes me as a gambler tbh, either he's extremely lucky or extremely unlucky. Likes playing poker, and invites Peppino and Hazel to play after work from time to time.

Doesn't believe in sirens, but if he ever saw one he'd try to exploit it for money. He wouldn't kill it or anything though, mainly because he's too weak and he doesn't know how to handle guns.

Noisette / Hazel

She runs a little cafe near Peppino's pizzeria, and is good friends with him, but can sometimes be a little annoying. They hang out after work from time to time. When she notices that Peppino is having a rough day, she'll sometimes bring over a free cup of coffee or a slice of cake for him. Sometimes experiments with... interesting... food combinations, which are strangely popular.

She has loved mermaids and sirens since she was young and is very fond of them. Once she discovers they're real, she becomes even more fascinated and obsessed with them. You better believe she wanted to be a mermaid when she was young.

SIRENS

Gustavo

A little round shark man who is perfect in every way. He's curious and adventurous, and even though sirens and humans are enemies since, uh. A long time. He doesn't believe that humans are inherently evil. He'll help out whenever and however he can, but can get very aggressive when his friends or brethren are threatened. You will regret it if you anger him.

Noise annoys him often but they don't harm each other. He isn't really friends with Noise, but he will defend him if he's threatened or attacked.

One day he saves Peppino from drowning, which makes other sirens sceptical of him, especially those who think humans are evil. He will later try to learn human language to be able to communicate with Peppino better.

Noise

Goblin shark. He can theoretically go on land for a bit, but needs some water nearby. He's a little sceptical about humans, but not outright hostile. He likes annoying pretty much everyone, especially Peppino once they meet (he thinks his reactions are funny).

He throws sea urchins and pufferfish at others like bombs, as he (like most sirens) is immune to their poison / venom. While he's usually an unhinged gremlin, he just about melts when with Hazel. But of course he tries to hide this from others.

Fake Peppino

Created by Pizzahead from DNA of frogs, newts, and Peppino (obviously). He was meant to be a weapon for sirens against humans, and thus is supposed to be hostile. Unfortunately, he turned out to be extremely affectionate, and he loves hugs. Much like Gustavo, when friends are attacked, he can get downright deadly. He can also regenerate body parts like an axolotl, unless his brain has been damaged. Like, you can rip both his arms off and they'll grow back within a day.

He becomes close friends with Gustavo, and is kind of fascinated by Peppino (other humans too, but mostly Peppino). He would play in the water with Brick once they meet, and become friends with Hazel. Can go on land as well, but prefers the water. He communicates with croaks, gurgles and other noises, and can speak very limited human language (very few fractions of words or sentences, it just sounds like gibberish), taught to him by Pizzahead.

Pepperman

Lumpfish (idk either just roll with it). He's kind of indifferent to humans, but he does think he's better than them. I could see him making a brush or something out of seaweed to draw. And then always getting upset that his drawings never stay cause of the water, but he keeps drawing anyway. Blames Noise for destroying his art even if he knows it's the water (Noise thinks it's funny). "Borrows" seaweed from Vigi's farm to make new brushes. But he'll also make statues out of various rocks and other things he finds laying around. Mostly of himself. Some humans think they're built from ancient civilizations, while others think it's some sort of elaborate hoax. Nobody recognizes Pepperman's talent :(

Vigilante

Sea slug. He genuinely believes humans want to kill sirens for nefarious reasons, possibly cause he's a little older i guess. Hands just appear when he needs them.

He has an underwater equivalent of a farm (like, he grows and tends to seaweeds, anemones, corals, etc), that he inherited from his grandpa. He'd love to just tend to the farm all day, but feels obligated to punish anyone who does wrong. Unofficial officer / sheriff of the sea. He still has his cowboy hat because i said so let me be silly on main.

Pizzahead

Ribbon eel. He can give others a little shock as if he had like a hand shocker thing. It mostly just hurts a bit and isn't lethal cause cartoon logic. He does not like humans, but mostly because he grew up with everyone around him telling him they're evil. Actually he's very curious and fascinated by humans, which is why he decided to clone Peppino. Mostly cause he sees him the most on the shore. Somehow. How he actually got his DNA is a mystery.

Later on he decides / attempts to make Fakey into a weapon after witnessing how strong Peppino is. He obsessively learns human language and tries to understand as much about human culture as he can. But he'll twist things around and tell others that he does it to "better understand their weaknesses". Right.

Pizzaface

Stingray. The leader of sirens in the elusive Siren Tower. He HATES humans, especially after some divers discovered the tower and continuously come there to explore. Basically just doesn't want his and his fellow sirens' home discovered or threatened. He's disappointed in Pizzahead because he taught himself human language, even after given an explanation (or excuse).

SPECULATION CORNER

Aka characters i can't quite figure out what to do with yet

Burton

A whale shark bc I can't get enough of sharks apparently. Sharks are cool okay

Alternative: just Mr. Stick's husband who sometimes comes with him to Peppino's

Gerome

A sentient rock and John's older brother, who always took care of him and helped him with the tower. Now just does maintenance and keeps John company.

Alternative: Peppino's janitor, but still made of rock because that's silly

John

A sentient rock that used to carry the tower around through the oceans but somehow got cursed and is now part of the foundation and can't move anymore. Was he a siren before? Or just a pillar? Or maybe a fish made of stone? We don't know.