#their love story is the best thing that's ever happened to my hopeless romantic heart

[cosmic-light-fics]

J.M. Darhower, Sempre (2014) | Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love (2006) | Bob Marley "He's not perfect" | Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund (1930)

Media credit: @devisrina

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 CARDIGAN, AUGUST AND BETTY kim minji x reader x kazuha nakamura

🪩★ ͘ ⴰ yn’s always been a hopeless romantic, her wish is to have the best love story and have the love of her life by her side in the end, but you can’t do that without a little bumps in the road right?

💿 TAPE 01 — AUGUST “ august slipped away into a moment of time cause it was never mine.”

the ocean breeze coming from the window takes over yn’s room along with the soft music coming from her phone as the girl sits on her bed with her face in a book.

it’s calming, it’s the exact break she needed, from all the craziness of idol life, she’s happy minji invited her to this beach house for the second half of the summer, august was always sort of depressing, so maybe the beach house would make it fun.

speaking of minji, yn hasn’t seen her since this morning, but that’s probably her fault, the girl had locked herself in the room that she’s staying in, she was determined to finish the book that she was reading, it was romance obviously.

romance is everything to yn, being in love seems like the best thing that can ever happen to you in yn’s mind, yn’s older sister would probably tell her to get her head out of the clouds but she just can’t help it, having someone’s heart in the palm of your hands and them having yours seems so intimate and vulnerable that it’s beautiful.

the book that yn is reading is about summer love, summer love is probably yn’s favourite trope, she’d love to have a summer love, to swim in the ocean with them and play in the sand.

“yn?” a voice snaps her out of her love filled thoughts, she looks up to see minji peaking her head in between the cracks of her door, “yeah?”

minji opened the door wider and stood fully in the door way, she had a oversized sweater that seemed to be over her swimsuit, “wanna go the beach? you can bring your book.”

yn looks at the girl at her door and can’t help but stare, minji has always been pretty no doubt, but this summer yn felt something different, butterflies would fill her stomach every time the leader would look at her or her hands would feel shaky when minji would talk to her, it’s been getting weird lately if she’s being honest, “sure just let me put on my suit.”

after getting ready yn made her way downstairs where minji was sitting on the couch waiting for her, as if it was on cue the girl looked up from her phone and smiled at yn, “ready?”

“yep.”

as the day unfolded, it felt like something out of a dream. the sky was a perfect blue, with wisps of clouds lazily drifting by. yn and minji spent hours on the beach, their laughter mingling with the sound of waves crashing against the shore.

they built sandcastles, their fingers intertwined as they molded the wet sand, and raced each other into the ocean, the cool water a refreshing escape from the heat of the sun. later, they sprawled on their beach towels, with yn absorbed in her book while minji dozed off beside her, a soft smile playing on her lips.

yn felt a sense of peace, as if all the chaos of the world had faded away, leaving just the two of them in their little bubble of happiness. it was a contentment she hadn't experienced in a long time, being an idol could be so stressful sometimes.

as the sun began to dip below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the beach, they reluctantly packed up their things and made their way back to the cozy beach house they had rented for the summer. the evening air was cool against their sun-kissed skin, and yn couldn't help but smile as minji playfully bumped her shoulder.

"today was perfect," minji said, her voice soft but full of warmth. "i don't want it to end."

yn glanced at her, feeling a tug at her heart. "me neither," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

later that night, after they had showered and changed into comfortable clothes, they settled on the couch to watch a movie. the room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the tv screen. as the movie played, minji nestled closer to yn, resting her head on yn's shoulder. yn's heart raced as she felt minji's breath against her neck, a comforting presence that she had grown to cherish.

without thinking, minji leaned in and kissed yn, her lips soft and warm against yn's. yn's eyes fluttered shut as she returned the kiss, her heart pounding in her chest. the world outside seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in that moment. minji's hand found its way to yn's cheek, caressing it gently as the kiss deepened.

when they finally pulled away, both of them were breathless. minji's eyes sparkled with something yn couldn't quite place, but it made her feel like she was floating. "i've wanted to do that for a while," minji admitted, her voice trembling slightly.

yn smiled, her cheeks flushed. "me too," she confessed.

the rest of august passed in a blur of stolen glances, secret touches, and passionate kisses. they spent their days exploring the small coastal town, holding hands when no one was looking, and sharing whispered conversations under the stars. at night, they would cuddle on the couch, the lines between friendship and something more becoming increasingly blurred.

it was yn’s dream, having summer love was all she could’ve hoped for, she had dreams about it, her older sister would call her delusional but this was it, it really was the dream.

but as the days slipped by, yn couldn't shake the feeling that this was all too good to last. they were more than friends, but less than a couple. it was a summer fling, a beautiful, fleeting moment in time that yn desperately wanted to hold onto.

one evening, as they were getting ready to head out for a late-night walk on the beach, minji excused herself to use the bathroom. yn sat on the edge of the bed, waiting patiently, when minji's phone, left on the nightstand, buzzed with a new message. the screen lit up, and yn's eyes were drawn to the notification.

it was a text from kazuha, a fellow idol from lesserafim. curiosity got the best of yn, and she couldn't help but glance at the message.

"hey, minji. i miss you. I can’t wait to see you." kazuha's message read, accompanied by a heart emoji.

yn felt a pang of jealousy pierce her chest. she quickly looked away, guilt washing over her for snooping, but the damage was done. in that moment, reality hit her like a wave crashing against the shore. she realized that she might just be a summer fling, a temporary distraction for minji.

when minji returned, she found yn sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, her expression unreadable. "you okay?" minji asked, concern lacing her voice as she walked over and sat beside yn.

yn forced a smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. "yeah, i'm fine," she lied, trying to sound convincing. but her heart ached, and she knew that minji could sense something was off.

yn was never the best at hiding her emotions, she was an emotional person, her older sister would tell her, that she needs to learn how to hide them.

minji frowned, studying yn's face. "are you sure? you seem… distant."

yn wanted to spill everything, to ask minji what they really were, to understand where she stood in minji's life. but instead, she swallowed her emotions and shook her head. "it's nothing," she whispered, her voice wavering slightly. "just tired, i guess."

minji didn't seem convinced, but she didn't press further. she wrapped her arm around yn, pulling her close, and yn let herself melt into the embrace. but as they sat there, the weight in yn's chest grew heavier. she knew, deep down, that their summer fling was coming to an end, and the thought terrified her.

of course her summer love wouldn’t actually be hers.

[dontbelasagnax]

*curling like a cat against your ankles* Lasaganie, more Codywan headcanons?? 🥺👉👈 (only if you gave them/want to share of course. thank you, you’re amazing and I love you :3c)

I am late but I come bearing gifts in the shape of the codywan headcanons you asked for!!! And I love you too 🫶

- In a no order 66 setting, Obi-Wan has a caf mug that he considers to be Cody's. This would be normal except Obi-Wan bought it during the war and always meant to find the occasion to give it to him but never got around to it. That's to say he's exceedingly normal about this cup. Especially when Cody starts spending time around his apartment and Obi-Wan serves him caf in it. For the first time. Then all the other times as well. Feeling his heart crack open seeing Cody with His Designated Mug. A mug Obi-Wan's perhaps had too much time to place too much sentimental value onto. He's perfectly normal about it and doesn't act weird at all.

(more headcanons under the cut. it's a bit long)

- Cody is a hopeless romantic but won't ever admit it. He loves romance novels and holofilms. From trashy to highly acclaimed, sweet to stuffed with depravity, he enjoys them all. They're just a spot of escapism for him. A fantastical tale to distract himself from the toll of war when the night cycle is quiet and grief is loud. The stories are all so wildly outlandishly unrealistic to him. He's a clone. There's no future for him outside his role in the war effort.

And then one fateful campaign they're on their feet for a full tenday before they encounter an outcropping with flora and fauna that, finally, aren't actively trying to kill them and they are able to set up a tentative base of operation while planetside.

General Kenobi insists everyone rest while they can. Cody lost his bedroll to some sort of carnivorous plant along the way. General Kenobi acts like it's an affront to his very livelihood when Cody tries to sleep on the ground of their shared tent. Cody is tired. He doesn't have the energy to fight back on something so stupid. Which means they have to share a bedroll. His general's bedroll. Where they're physically incapable of both laying on the little mat unless they're plastered together. Cuddling.

It's the best sleep of his life.

...Exactly like how the romance novels describe it.

He's not dumb. He's been aware that he's in love with his general. He just thought the romance novels were all embellishing to a ridiculous degree and none of it was actually... realistic.

But if the romance novels are right about this, what else is just as magical in reality?

And maybe, just maybe, could there be some hope for a glimmer of a chance for him to pursue something else with Obi-Wan after the war, if they both make it that far?

- I am fully of the belief that, in a Tatooine husbands setting, the husband bit is a complete accident. Ben is stopping by for a quick pantry restock at the Pica Oaisis marketplace when it happens. He's lived at his hut long enough for the vendors here to have a familiarity with him so it's not exactly a surprise when one says to him, "Who's the shadow of a fella that's hangin' with you lately?" They mean well, he knows. And still, it's his business. He thinks his answer is quite crafty.

He says, "He's my partner," and leaves it at that. Partner could mean anything. Alas, either an older man living in an isolated hut with another older man implies a particular thing about their relationship or the vendors have a flair for the romantic because he quickly comes to discover on his next trips to the marketplace that he has a husband. Of all the assumptions one could make, it's certainly the most harmless and... he finds he likes it. Being seen as Cody's husband. It's all awfully embarrassing and he doesn't dare tell Cody any of it.

Cody discovers it for himself a few weeks later on a solo trip to the market to pick up some feed for Rooh.

"Here to do your husband's bidding?" a vendor asks and Cody blinks.

He blinks again. "Come again?" he says.

"Ben your husband; you're running his errand?"

His first instinct is to correct them, tell them he and Ben aren't married. But how would he even begin describe their relationship? After a few seconds deliberating he decides he's better off going with it. What harm could it do? Besides, on the ride home, he finds he kind of likes it.

And that's how they become husbands. Well, the beginning of it, anyhow.

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝐿𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐿𝑒𝑔𝑜 𝑃𝑖𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑠

A/N: I feel like this sucks but it would still do, I hope yall like it! This is also like the story of how director!reader and Ben got together in my "Shadow and Bone Chronicles AU" but could still be read seperately.

Taggings: @augustwithquills @idohknow @bloody-mf-bsc

Today will be hard, was his first thought when Ben woke up and started getting ready for the "hangout" you planned. It had been a long time since you two actually talked yet alone go to a place together. Between presses and shooting, the only form of communication between you two was texting and occasionally video calling.

And even they weren't able to fully ease his painfully beating heart.

He had stopped seeing a friend in you a long time ago. To him, it was way past that point. With your childish side coming out with him, showing your love through your sarcasm and bullying which made everyone laugh as he flushed, trusting him so much to the point you slept in his house whenever it became late, and how you always magically knew something was wrong with him and offered everything possible just to see him crack a smile...

It was the little things, the way you silently cared for him and did little things that made him fall for you.

Hard.

He paced around his room as he looked for his outfit, anxiously looking at his reflection in the mirror. Did he look fine? He wasn't too much, was he? Was he underdressed? He should have asked what you were going to wear-

"You aren't turning back to your anxious and weirdly worried self, are you?"

Jack's voice shook him from the deep turmoil he was close to putting himself in as Ben looked at him with an annoyed yet affectionate look at his brother who was leaning over his door. "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you don't overthink." He huffed out a laugh as Ben grabbed his phone and wallet and brushed past him, letting out a laugh as his brother swatted his back and followed him. Being back at his parents' house, alongside his brother, had been the best decision he had ever made. Between shooting, going on stages to sing and doing press, he was exhausted and he rewarded himself with a month of full rest and just being Ben.

Not Ben Barnes, the actor the world knew.

He smiled softly to himself as he got out of the house, almost with a skip to his steps and trekked towards where you would be waiting for him. Though the sunny weather eased his mind and brought warmth in him, there was this... Disturbing ache and beating of his heart.

And the voice that always told him something was wrong, even in his best days.

Good guys never get the girl, don't get your hopes up...

That thought suddenly made him halt, close his eyes thightly and continue walking. His heart felt heavy at that unspoken fact, squeezing and contrasting painfully. That was something he was used to experience, it always happened to him anyways, leaving hım heartbroken.

And he really didn't understand why women tended to go after men, rather boys, that could never treat them right.

But deep down, all this worry and negative voice was because of... His feelings for you.

He wanted to confess, to tell you that he liked you for a long time now, wanted to wrap his arms around you as he inhaled your smell and savored your warmth and love. He wanted to sway you to a song only you two heard, cook with you and then perhaps throw flour at each other like in those cliche romcoms.

He wanted to tell you about his day, talk to you, call you freely without worrying about anything, call you sweet names, share his life with you and talk about it as you both laid on your beds, crack jokes to make you laugh as he would bask in the sound of its melody...

Yes, he was a hopeless romantic but it had always been like that anyways.

He was just good at hiding those intentions behind care and flirting. But it was perhaps obvious in the way that he had been acting, that he was searching for a commitment and serious love, that he thought about settling down with the woman of his life.

But could he really do that? He didn't even know if you felt the same, would it really be worth risking your friendship? Besides, there were other things to worry about as well. He wouldn't be there all the time for you and you for him even if he wanted, and you two would have to rely on the net while missing each other... And perhaps, you would get tired of him and this constant time of being away, want to find someone who could actually take time for you and give you everything you deserved and made you happy-

But just as when his thoughts started to slightly overwhelm him, he heard your voice steadily coming closer to where he was waiting for you... Alongside with the hard "pat!" sounds your shoes made against the pavement.

"Hello,Ben! I'm sorry I was late, I had to run here..." You panted and came to a stop when you reached his figure that was looking at you with worry as he helped you straighten up. His hand rubbed your back and he widened his eyes at how hard and fast your heart was beating, so much so that he could feel it through layers of clothes and skin.

"But why did you run, Y/N? Your heart beats like crazy, let's sit down a bit-"

"Because you were waiting... I didn't want to make you wait."

And it always does that flips whenever I'm near anyway

He widened his eyes at what you said, and couldn't help but let his heart make those flips too as he slightly blushed. You panted harshly to get more air into your lungs after running for 15 minutes straight. It wasn't your fault that the bus you took broke down in the middle of the road, but perhaps remembering sometimes, that you were also a famous who had her own car would help.

"So... Let me give a big hug to my favourite actor and friend! You were so good as the Darkling and excuse you, how dare you make me like him..." You got up with a wide smile, arms wide open as you rambled about his latest work and gushed out because God knew what those costumes and raspy voice of his did to you. This was perhaps the most futile attempt you had ever done, trying to conceal your feelings for the kind man before you.

You always knew Ben was handsome, charming and everything a woman could ever want in a man. He was kind, generous, cute and excited like a puppy most of the time and they were all the reasons you fell for him.

A grave mistake on your end, because he could never like you in that way. Why would he, when he could have anyone, when there were many who wanted him?

But as you gushed and buried your apparent affections for the man before you, you didn't realize how his smile slightly faltered and dropped, his eyes casting down with thight and pained lips as he bit them, hands thightening inside his pocket.

Of course, you didn't see him that way...

Against all odds, Ben let himself believe that Jack and pretty much everyone was right about his feelings and that you returned them.

What a fool he could be...

Maybe he was supposed to be more direct? Like a dinner date and not a hang out? But yet again, you were the one who prepared this and specifically called it a "hangout", not a date.

If he was in his house, he was sure he would have thrown a book or two at the wall angrily and eat himself up as he sat on his couch.

Contrary to what people believed hım to be, an effortless flirt, he wasn't. Not when it came to genuine feelings he had been harbouring for such a long time. He had dated before, obviously, and though he used to felt a spark to the women he dated... All of them went away after some time. He never felt that dizzying feeling whenever he was near them, or wanted to spend every waking hour with them, to know and listen to how they are, to be there for them in any way possible and shoulder their weights like it was his own...

He never felt that desperate for a girl before and this enough told him that his feelings were going to get even deeper as more time passes, and not go away.

Besides, he wouldn't be able to do so for so long since you always found a way to be there for him and surprise him, making it near impossible to stay away from you as he would always grin widely in response.

Such as his birthday, when you suddenly appeared from inside the box with a huge cake between your hands, obviously getting into it with the help of his castmates even if you were "supposed" to be working away from him but came here just for him anyways, a decision he had come to realize that brought tears to his eyes and squeezed at his chest.

You were effortlessly kind and considerate, and he really wanted to be mad at you for making hım feel like that, be vulnerable at your presence so much but he also knew that you had nothing to do with the way his heart felt about you and your stupid smile.

And he can't, he just can't hate you, be mad at you. He is rather mad at himself, for not listening to his friends who always said good guys never win, he is mad at himself for imagining things, dreaming of you and him together so much that he thought they could come true.

But what if...

He was about to cry tears of frustration every time he backed away from letting his intrusive thoughts win and just scoop you in a bear hug, kissing all over your face.

Such as right now, as you were trying to pinch his cheeks cutely, unaware of what you were doing to the poor man who was sure to smoke at this point.

"you are cute whenever you have that look on your face..." You giggled at his pouting and crimson face as he tried to cover it up by coughing and offered you his arm as you both walked together silently, acting like having you pressed to his body wasn't affecting him, making him almost loose his balance with tripping on his own feet.

As your eyes were glued to the road ahead of you, you didn't realize his focused gaze on you while he looked at your face secretly. There were eyebags under your eyes, something you were insecure about it sometimes but he found them adorable.

Especially when you smiled and alongside your cheeks, they made your eyes almost disappear by how big of a smile you had.

You got more skinny, perhaps a result of working too much. He knew your tandency of overworking yourself and forgetting to eat, since he had to force you eat many times as you would blush and admit your mistake with cheeks full of his food.

But there were some pleasant changes with you too. First, your hair which was a different color that suited you better and they framed your face perfectly. Then the change in style came too. You always used to dress more comfortable and sporty, refusing to show your curves or skin even though many complimented you when you showed them...

And now... you were more confident with everything about you and he couldn't be happier at seeing you love your own body.

He didn't actually know if that was a good change because many people were already looking at you up and down with eyes that definetly wasn't friendly which made his blood boil inside him...

And as you dragged him to the Lego shop, he knew that he would still have all of you and fight whoever dared to wipe that wide smile on your pretty face.

"Please, please, please! Look, I'm telling you, this one is expensive, I'm not gonna lie." You stopped Ben from saying anything with defensive hands to his way, standing behind the huge Hogwart's building lego set and made your best impression of puppy eyes, begging him while he was looking at you with teasing eyes, lips drawn up softly as he eyed the many items behind you.

As soon as you both entered, you disappeared from Ben's sight and he was left shocked behind you as he ran after you, wondering how you could be that fast. He chuckled under his breath at your excitement and it soon turned to full laughter when he found you looking at the lego set with heart eyes, with your hand clasped together and he had to refrain from buying it.

He coughed once, twice to cover his flushed cheeks and tried to make the best impression of being serious.

"Don't you think It's a bit expensive?" His eyes softened when you pouted and turned to look at the price tag, and he already knew that he would buy whatever it is that you wanted to have just to have your smile.

"But... We can split? This one is soooo big anyways, and I don't have enough room in my home." You laughed giddily, trying your chances with him as you showed how big it was like a child being asked how much do you love me and Ben smiled at you, standing next to you as he took a look at the box. He had to admit, that one looked... Way too good to not to buy, just like you insisted.

But he has to be stern! He wasn't as much of a simp as his brother and pretty much everyone pointed hım out to be!

"Don't you already have enough Lego sets in your house, love?" He turned his eyes to you, not realizing the sweet nickname that passed his lips as you blushed and stared at his soft and kind dark brown eyes with a stuttered breath. He leant over to you with his hot breath over your face, his stubbled and handsome face making your heart flip as the way he thightened his jaw sent you in a frenzy.

Suddenly, the air had gotten hotter and you had to fan yourself and take a step back from him before you did something you might regret later... Like jumping on him right there and there.

"I do? My mom keeps telling me to get rid of a few of them, asking how I live in there.... And besides, look! " You took a box that held the Funko POP figure of Sirius Black and showed it to him, in which he playfully raised a brow at, chuckling at your childish side that came out whenever you two hang out together and took the box from you. He already knew that he would buy whatever you wanted as soon as he saw how excited you were but it didn't hurt to tease, right?

"This one is you, in another universe, begging you to buy him~"

you shook it from side to side with a cute pout and came closer to him with small steps, peeking around the tiny corner of the box as he giggled at your antics.

"I haven't played Sirius Black yet, love..." he pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing, but it made you gasp dramatically and look at the box and then at him and back to his amused face with an offended gasp.

"But you ARE the Sirius BLACK?" you raised your brow in the Rock way, giggling when he shoved you away gently and shook his head at you. You were a big Harry Potter fan and openly, very openly indeed, fangirled after Sirius Black at any chance.

There were times he caught you watching edits of Marauders and cry, which he couldn't lie that was cute, and often comforted you.

He had to admit fans had some real talent with making edits that real.

And also, these would be one of those times that you swore you would one day make the Marauders TV series a reality and him as Sirius. He would chuckle and agree, if you ever decide to do that for real, and though he tried not to show his enthusiasm, you knew he was also excited at that idea but didn't tell outright to not put a weight on your shoulders.

Another reason to love him and also make this shit real.

"If you buy me this... Who knows, maybe a big surprise will be waiting for you at home~"

He was a damn almost-40 man, did you really think you could deceive him with such thing?

How old was he? Five?

But...

"Oh? Are you bribing me with a surprise?" He couldn't help but give only one fast glance at what you were holding and... He was so close to caving in, calling it a day and buy whatever you wished to buy.

Life was short, you gotta have fun, right?

Besides, you were using that puppy eyes and please you always cutely did with the battings of your lashes and pout, and he was a complete sucker, weak at the knees for the combination of the two cutest thing on the lovely face of the most adorable person he knew.

"Because it's working!"

You cheered loudly with a clap of your hands and a quick twirl, sprinting to the shelves in a hurry. You seriously thought he was gonna say no, by the hard look on his face and squeezed eyes he often did whenever he either thought about something or was getting ready to refuse an offer.

What can you say? He was a damn good actor, one hell of a kind even.

After you both were finally able to wrap everything up, and you forced him to make lego versions of each other which he was reluctant first but soon found himself making little versions of his friends and family too much to your enjoyment as he had the most gleeful look, you finally pulled him to where you could finally pay for everything.

Even though you had to hold the neck of his sweater and force him, much like a mama cat.

But now, you had to distract him someway because... Well, you forgot that half of the things were actually his birthday surprises, unknowing to him, and you had to pay for them before he did.

"Hey Ben..." He hummed at you when you tugged on his coat and looked down from sideways. His handsome face was full on display, the sharpness of his jaw making your knees turn to jelly momentarily before you pulled yourself together and smiled at his grinning face, eyes twinkling in happiness as a little strand of his hair escaped from the beanie he wore.

"Did you know you can make legos for your animals too?"

"You can?! Why didn't you tell me this before! I'll be quick, just wait a few minutes, okay?" You laughed as he hurriedly got out of the line, all the while sprouting I'm sorry's to the people left and right while momentarily holding their shoulders to not to bump into them harshly.

Another fact about him that was so loveable.

You sighed lovingly after his back, watching him miss the first turn and then flusteredly look at you as he turned back to the right one and smile. You giggled at his silliness and shook your head.

For an adult, he surely didn't act like one.

"Hmm, what a lovely couple you are... It's been so long since seeing two people so in love."

You slowly turned back to see a short, old woman holding her grandson's hand while they too waited in line, all the while smiling kindly and staring knowingly with a mirth of a future-mother-in-law type of way at you.

"Did you," you pointed between you and Ben at a distance coming over to you fast, with a shocked face as he watched you with red cheeks, smiling bashfully at the older woman's soft yet teasing eyes.

Oh, shit... He heard her, oh my God this is so awkward!

"... mean us? Pftt, no ma'am, we aren't dating, we are friends. He is just buying me the gift he couldn't buy."

Even though I wish he was something more...

You waved her off as if it was no big deal, trying and probably failing to conceal your flustered state as if being mistaken as a couple bu ithers didn't make your heart launch at your throat.

The older lady, who came with her grandchildren, only hummed in thought and nodded and you swore you saw the playfulness that came with youth in her eyes for a second. "Well, that young man doesn't look at you like a friend."

And as if she didn't just drop the biggest bomb at you, she took a hold of her grandchildren's hand and let them guide her away in yet another shelf after they left the toys near the cash.

You gazed after the woman with a slacked jaw and couldn't help but think about her words.

What did she meant by "He isn't looking at you like a friend does."?

What do I not see? Had I been... Blinded by my insecurities?

No, that was impossible. Because come on, it was obvious that he had a type in woman and you definetly didn't suit that. Besides, it wasn't like Ben to shy away from confessing or telling you about his feelings so, there was literally no reason for him to hide if he liked you back.

You weren't the Boogeyman, right?

You were silently, and slowly, drowning in these thoughts when a thoughtful-looking Ben came back with three more lego sets for the animals he knew and loved and you couldn't help but worry about him.

"Ben? Are you okay? You were fine like 15 minutes ago..."

"Yes, I am fine... Have you payed for everything?" His eyes slowly drifted towards your hands that was full of the sets, nodding your head at hım as he hummed and went to pay for the other three he got while you were left dumbfounded at his... Sudden lack of excitement.

He was just fine as he went to that shelves, what happened in just 15 minutes I wasn't there?

As you trailed close behind him, since that man was tall and his steps were bigger than yours, Ben was thinking back to what had happened in the store. How that old lady called you "his lover" and how he grinned like a kid being given his favourite toy at a Christmas day. He was beaming with joy inside at seeing other people being able to witness the traces if love in his actions, face and gestures since this, was the kind of man he was.

Proud to show off his loved ones as long as they deemed it okay and safe.

But the bitter pang of you refusing it so blatantly and quickly squeezed his poor heart harshly.

Why did you always look like it was such an absurd think to be seen as his girlfriend?

Before this day, he would have thought that it might have gone as far as disgusting you. But soon, he realized that it was far beyond that after he saw you blushing and loosing track of what you were gonna say or do whenever he leant a bit closer, or hugged you thightly.

Both different from how you used to act with him before.

Yet, he didn't want to get his hopes up only to crush when you rejected... That is, until that lady in the store came and literally knocked some sense to his "thick" head.

That girl is madly in love but doesn't know you also are, even a half-blind old geezer like me can see it!

That was exactly her words.

At first, he tried to go back against her words, telling her how wrong she was... Then he noticed what she said first and now, he was a mess.

What is he supposed to do now?!l

"Hey, Ben? There is actually something I want to talk to you..."

Now, that was the most couregous shit you were about to do in your whole life besides choosing your line of profession and that one time you decided to cross roads without holding your parents' hands.

Ben isn't the kind of man to throw someone aside for such thing, is what you thought as you took deep breaths to calm yourself down and stared at his lips as his nervous eyes found yours. You hated to be the cause of that, especially after such a fun day out, but... If you didn't do this, it would haunt you even in your dreams and regrets would wash over you for the rest of your days.

"Sure, of course... Look, if It's about-" he started with a dejected sigh, full on expecting you to tell him that the idea of being together or anyone entertaining such idea was wrong and stupid.

"I have had feelings for you for a long time!"

Yeah, no he was hearing voices that wasn't actually-Wait, what?

You rushed the words out in one breath, fearing that if you waited even a second, you would loose all your courage. That short time of your adrenaline rush was soon over, and you were left as a jittery mess before his shocked eyes as he tried to understand the situation he suddenly found himself in.

A situation that seemed like it was out of his dreams.

"Y-You... You have what?"

You groaned in embrassment while avoiding looking up, knowing the look of rejection even without doing so.

Oh, only had you done it... You would have seen the bright red face he supported with the cutest, boyish smile ever.

"Look, I know you don't feel the same but do you really have to-"

"Who said I don't?"

This time, it was your turn to become the shocked Pikachu but Ben wasn't done yet.

"This... Do you know how long I've been waiting for this moment?"

Double shocked Pikachu.

Your brain was turned into a putty, short curcuiting every second as it tried to understand what it was hearing. Maybe it was the cold weather? Maybe you brain froze and now was replaying the recent pleasing dream-

"I-I... You have?" You asked with a weak voice, hope lacing every single part of you as your eyes shone with love and expectations. His eyes softened at how fragile you looked, so dependant on what was going to leave his lips. He knew you tried to avoid confrontation as much as possible, especially when you weren't sure about the outcome.

This must be already hard for you to do and here he was, being all silent and staring at you which was probably even more nerve-wracking.

But you just seemed so cute, so adorable with that cute pink over your cheeks all the while looking up to him! He was just dreaming about how soft your cheeks must be, so squishy and warm because of the cool wind-

"Are you gonna say something?" You pouted at his face, still staring at you with a stupid smile as he let out a soft chuckle at your angry face, feet stomping like a bunny.

You didn't understand what was taking hım so long just to form a simple sentence. Yes or no, simple! You were the one who made leap of faith, the one who was close to having a heart attack and he was just grinning, shuffling on his feet excitedly-

"I love you too..."

You laughed out in glee at it, like a kid being given a hefty amount of chocolate and jumped up happily. At moments of pure excitement, humans lost track of what they did and that was exactly what happened as you moved to kiss his cheek but ınstead landed a smooch on the corner of his lips.

You kissed the corner of his lips...

You... Kissed... The corner... Of his mouth...

He slowly covered back from the shock as he watched you, a hand on his lips while disbelief was written all over his face and eyes. The epiphany od the moment nearly blinded him and he was sure his heart literally dropped but was them set aflame wildly.

Upon realizing what you had done,you stood there with your hands still on his chest to balance yourself... But when you came back to your senses, you left the bags between his hands and ran away with flaming cheeks, leaving an utterly bewildered, shocked yet happly in love man in the middle of the pavement as he stared longingly after you, already planning the next 100 dates ahead.

Dinner at Barnes' household was never quiet.

It was walmost tradition at this point, Ben and Jack bickering with each other go the last bite of the meal or one of them talking about their job as the parents listened...

But never in like 40 years that it had been that silent. And Tricia had a very good guess as to why with just one simple glance at her blushing eldest son who very much so resembled the kid he once was.

Tricia, as the observant mother she was, just stared at her eldest son eating... Like a proper human being for the first time with a small smile, and chuckled to herself. Ahh, what love does to people...

Hearing their mother sigh deeply, both Ben and Jack looked at her weirdly as they stopped eating. They stared at each other as if asking what the other did, nudging each other, even if they were literal adults, but in the end, Ben was the only one able to ask her as he gulped down his food.

"Mum, what's wrong?"

"You're in love and didn't tell me."

A snort left Jack as he tried to hold himself back from full on cackling as Ben shot him a look and turned to his mother with slightly blushing cheeks, eyes wide and full of wonder at how she was able to know this.

Did she really have eyes at the back of her head?

He really hoped and tried his best at hiding what just happened to him a few hours ago, even though the blush on his cheeks and the heavy shopping bags full of gifts made it pretty obvious.

"Where... where did you get this idea from?"

But he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day and Ben wasn't going to make today his last day of peace. Because he knew...

He knew his whole family, down to the very end of both his parents' side, would tease him endlessly for his "obvious" crush on you, especially more than usual if they heard you and him were finally together.

But unforfunately, he was the one getting caught of guard when his mum noncholantly shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat as normal, looking at him above her glasses with a happy grin.

" Because, you finally eat without smacking your lips. Someone finally was able to chip that habit away... Which only a woman would be able to do."

"More specifically... A pretty co-worker of yours who goes by Y/N~"

Ben was left absolutely in shock with his mouth hang open at the way his own mum understood what was going on with him, his raging crush, as Jack choked on his own food and his dad looked between him and his wife with a grin that matched the one as hers. "So, he really grew enough balls to confess?"

"Dad!"

"It seems so, honey. Finally, the days he mops all around has ended!" She enthusiasticly replied him without glancing at her offended yet happy son as they both looked at him happily. After all, they have been rooting for you and him to get together for ages. You were a very kind soul, always offering your help even if you were at the other side of the planet and being Tricia's best gossip partner. She still remembered how you called her and told her your plan to surprise Ben in the middle of his shootings for his brithday and how it had to stay hidden as you prepared everything.

That was when she knew it was you for her son.

If her son hadn't done a move already, she was about to take the matters into her hands just to officially make you family.

But yet again... She was unsure if it was really her son who did it first.

"So... Who confessed first, son?"

"I bet my arse it was her!" Jack yelled out as a blush appeared on Ben's face at remembering what happened before he came back home, how your slightly chapped but still soft lips felt against his own skin,and that was enough to throw them into a frenzy as Jack cheered loudly for him while his father also joined.

But his mother, seeing the embrassment on her eldest's face, tried to shush them. But of course, as the men of the house were quite loud, it was near impossible with being the only female.

Another reason for you to join the family.

"Jack, no cursing at dinner!"

"Okay, I'm out. I don't want to listen to your teasings..." Ben slapped his knees as he got up and walked towards his room in his parents' house, his heart thundering inside his chest as his hand got clammy with anxiety.

He still couldn't believe how today turned out, how you told him you loved him for a while but wasn't sure if it was one-sided or not, that this was actually a date... Which he found absolutely ridiculous because he thought he was being very obvious, and then kissed him as if those words leaving your words weren't already enough for him to be sent into a cardiatic operation.

"Yeah, go and talk with your girlfriend~"

"Jack, stop making fun of your brother!"

But when he went up to his very much so enormous amount of gifts at the corner of his house, not caring about how his family suddenly turned silent as they watched him secretly from the corner, a note attached to the biggest set caught his eye and he softly took it between his hands and couldn't help but tear up at what was written in your handwriting.

Thank you for being exactly who you are and offering me a chance I never imagined that would be mine, something I didn't know I need my whole life... Happy belated birthday, Ben :)

"Oh my God... Is he crying-"

"MUM, BEN IS CRYING BECAUSE OF HIS GIRL!"

And he couldn't help but chuckle when he sat down and looked at the post and later story you shared, reading all the excited and shocked comments, feeling grateful for taking that old woman's suggestion seriously and rolling with it.

Because now, after years of pining, he finally had what he wanted and the voice that whispered to him was now... Silent.

Good guys indeed get the girl in the end, and he got his.

His lego piece.

..

Liked by freddycarter1, blakelively, benbarnes and 5,456,132 others

Y/N Y/L/N: Anything to see this wide smile...Even though it costed more than 10,000 Sterlins

View 453,623 comments

User1: WHEN IS IT GONNA BE MY TIME? BEN BARNES YOU LUCKY-

User5: GIRL WHAT DID YOU BUY?!

Y/N Y/L/N: nothing much really. The Hogwarts Building, 12 Grimmauld Place, Hogwarts Express, Gryffindor House, the Quidditch Trunk and Sirius Black POP Figure... It was the food that costed more.

User5: YOU CALL THIS "NOT SO MUCH"?! GIRL HOW RICH ARE YOU?!

User7: and do you accept any other sugar baby?

User3: guys there is a more important question to ask... Are they together finally? Because there are photos of them being all cute together and kissing sweetly and if that shit is right, I can't breathe...

User7: I say Ben Barnes finally found someone to babygirlify hım😌 as he should be

User7: Hear me out, whoever is reading this between you two, if you prove us that you are fucking together finally... I'll start to sing a song for this specific ship and upload it on Twitter

User6: THE BET IS A BIG ONE, COME ON NOW Y/N WE ONLY EXCEPT ONE SIGN

User12: OMG GUYS CHECK HER STORY RIGHT NOW WE DID IT, OUR SHIP HAS SAILED😭😭🥹 AND DAMN BEN BARNES YOU KNOW HOW HOT YOU ARE IN SWEATERS😭🫦

Y/N Y/L/N added to her story!

[its-chelisey-stuff]

i'm a little bit late to the party but I just wanted to express my love for this silly yet wonderful drama. I didn't expect much at first (tbh the first half of ep 1 almost made me drop it, i thought the humor was a bit over the top) but in the end it surprised me in the best way.

My three favorite things about this show:

the found family dynamic:

me being a hopeless romantic at heart, did love the romance aspect of the show, but I loved a bit more the way the gang was among them the most. I totally loved the way the thirsty deer gang adopted EunHa from the start, cared for her, appreciated her and took her in as one more in the family. I adored these guys and the love they all had for each other, it was heartwarming to watch, and also, hilarious. Most the funniest moments in the show came from their antics.

They had been in really low places and bad sides of the world, but Jihwan saved them and offered them a second chance.

I think that, if this silly little romcom taught us anything, is that we are too quick to judge someone with a complicated past of this kind, and that the general message was that a mistake doesn't have to define your future, and you can start anew. Jihwan gave all the people at his company that second chance that society more often than not (and in many different countries, not just S. Korea) doesn't give former inmates.

The love story:

of course i loved this to bits! in a refreshing use of the childhood friends trope (at least I thought it was refreshing) the backstory of the childhood actually didn't matter in the way it usually does, and I was pleasantly surprised. EunHa longed to reconnect with the kid that had made her childhood a bit better and memorable in a good way, but she wasn't hoping to find him to marry him and be happily ever after (even though that's what happened, but hey, points to her for not being delusional about it).

I thought her thinking the prosecutor was her childhood bestie was gonna complicate matters, but it actually didn't. She was already falling for Jihwan by the time she thought the prosecutor could be the person she had been looking for. I think she tried to like him in a romantic way, but our silly, adorable yet super hot and somehow mysterious male lead had already worked his magic on her.

Also, they were both super likeable characters, it was hard to even be angry at them despite some eye-rolling decisions (mostly on Jiwhan's part, like the noble idiocy trope, my most hated enemy). They were compelling characters and interesting both together and apart. I liked that EunHa wasn't some type of helpless cinderella and didn't wallow in sel-pity despite her less-than-desirable circumstances. Meanwhile Jihwan stole my heart by being the adorable man his mother had raised him to be (we never found out much about her, but she obviously was a great woman), despite spending 20ish years with his criminal father. Nobody deserved a more happy ending than these two.

the love traingle that really wasn't

this is more like a continuation of my last point, but really, the prosecutor was never in the running. Maybe he was a possibility early on, but after ep 4 or 5 it was just one-sided. By then EunHa was already living in Jihwan's house lol you can't be the cohabitation trope, no matter how much you try. and to be fair, he was a pretty decent dude, and if this was real life, he'd totally be the person I would go for (i mean, who wouldn't?): stable job, kind, nice, good looking! and with no connections to the gansta life lol the perfect package! I did feel a bit sorry for him in the end, but he took it pretty well. He was a reasonable man, maybe I was a bit harsh to him, but you can't blame this fangirl when her ship is being messed with!

In conclusion...

The drama was more centered around the characters than the story, but that's not a bad thing, since there wasn't much to tell on the latter, while the characters were the heart of the show.

All in all, it was a nice romcom (truly a balance between romance and comedy, which I think it's hard to come by sometimes in modern kdramaland) that I would recommend for any fan of the genre. It had really good chemistry for the main ship, but also for side couples and among the cast. I think it's one of those shows where you just know everyone had a great time making it and that makes it even better to watch.

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

Hiii Your WIP list is impressive o.o I would love to hear more about:

An Angel's Unexpected Companion, Sam Wesson x Gabriel, Falling in love with Angel, Tell Me No Lies, Two Men and the Virgin, annnnd The Virus

>.>" I feel like that's a lot for one ask but I am curious

🤣

Plot bunnies don’t escape me. My brain just comes up with ideas and I write them down thinking I’ll get back to it…eventually.

I have a ton of prompts and plot docs too. I even have a prompt list.

I guess it is a lot.

I’m impressed. You even asked about my two novels I’m working on. I’ll do it in order of your list.

An Angel’s Unexpected Companion.

This ideas was inspired by a few different fics. I know one was Hunters Throne by LadyKnightSkye. I love their work! Anyway, it’s about a woman who is a Nephilim (or was it an Elioud?) and prophesied to ending the war between Heaven, Purgstory, and Hell. The way this happens is she becomes an “Angel’s Companion” which is a human that is bonded to an angel (voluntarily) to increase their power and abilities. In this case, they are a second companion to an angel which is so rare. It’s a Cas/Dean with Dean as the first human companion. The woman actually being a Nephilim means they provide more power and a stronger bond. The whole thing is slowly brought to the attention of the archangels and Chuck himself (good dad) that eventually he does recognize her and knows that this is his grandchild. He already knew for he is God.

That’s as far as I got with the story. I don’t know if I’ll ever finish it. It’s a lot of background to keep up with.

Sam Wesson x Gabriel

This is a request for me to retell 4x17 It’s a Terrible Life from Sam Wesson’s perspective with an interfering Gabriel. This does eventually lead to Sabriel.

Falling in love with Angel

This is an urban fantasy romance novel I am working on where a devout psychic woman runs into a fallen angel who has lost faith in God and his mission. Through her he learns that there are many paths to God and they fall in love in the process. It wasn’t supposed to be a religious story but it sort of became that way with my thinking.

I want to get this one published.

Tell Me No Lies

It’s an AU-Canon Divergence fic where the OFC, Ember, is hit with a spell that prevents her from telling a lie. She’s a hunter who reveals she a witch and eventually leads to complications of the heart. This story leads to a triad relationship.

The reason there are two versions is because I tried a different way. The Nightingale Witch version is she’s a special witch where she sings her magic through song—any song because singing evokes and enhances magic from her soul. She’s still get hits with the truth telling spell but the story goes different when it comes to complications of the heart. This story is more of a polycule relationship.

I still haven’t decided which way I wanna go.

Two Men and a Virgin

This a Destiel x Virgin!F!Reader fic. The Reader is a hopeless romantic and wants to save herself for love. She’s just never fallen in love; however, she has moved in next to Cas and Dean, married husband that have become best friends. She, of course, has fallen in love with them and has tried to get over it without success. The Reader has made assumptions that they’re a gay married couple when in fact they’re a pansexual couple and find this out (after five years of knowing them) one drunken night where they all kind of end up making out that leads to sex. It’s indulgent.

There are few real poly fics in the Supernatural fandom and I love Destiel, so yeah.

The Virus

This is an urban fantasy/scifi novel I am trying to write. It’s the omegaverse or a/b/o trope from the very beginning in how it came to be and follows it through humanity witnessing changes into packs and relationship dynamics and the change of laws.

Omegaverse (a/b/o) is my favorite trope.

[bloodtwin]

👨‍❤️‍👨 !

send me a 💑 if we ship our muses together and i'll tell you why i love our ship! if we aren't shipping our muses together but want to, send me a 💘 and i'll give you my first impressions of the ship source: here.

*cracks knuckles* okay,

so fun fact about me. the movie that has fundamentally shaped the way i write characters or stories is beauty and the beast. so just do with that information what you will.

i joke that puck does not have a type (he doesnt. not really) BUT if he did, babsi is That. this is because she is the most prey animal creature in all of history. something something me & mr wolf. the struggle between wanting to take care of her & wanting to eat her is very real for my boy. quite funny... and also sexy.

their relationship is also a beautiful comedy of errors. everything that happens to them is the most hilarious & most embarrassing thing i have ever seen in my life.

again, HUGE fan of the opposites attract thing going on with them too. best ship concept ever. they have vastly different life experiences. seem to have almost nothing in common yet they mesh so well.

i think babsi is quite charmed by his gentle giant swag. he's a little gentleman is the thing. he's kind of got this almost knight-in-shining-armor vibe but not quite because he's more like a possessive, deranged, rabid guard dog who tries to act like he's just a little, innocent puppy. he's also definitely subconsciously protecting her in the same way a predator protects its prey from... other predators. but he doesn't know that <3

puck really adores just about everything about her. i think he wants to be like her. tbh i would even say he's a bit jealous of her polite, innocent lady personality. he's so very embarrassed & even a bit hopeless (?) because there is NO WAY he could EVER deserve to be with someone so lovely. he feels SO self-conscious around her.

size difference

they're just very sweet :3c despite puck's um. *gestures vaguely* Everything, there's this like, innocence to their relationship that's quite cute. they interact like school kids who just got their first crush ever. both of them are a bit clueless about what to do in a relationship, especially a relationship specifically between the two of them. it's so charming LOL

puck is ... not the most romantic man in the world. he wears his heart on his sleeve, but when it comes to romance he gets scared. isn't really sure what to do in a relationship beyond the realm of sex. he's used to having a friends with benefits type of situation with people. he does not court. i dont think he knows what a date even is.

but babsi really makes him want to try. and that's just so endearing to me.

[aevykcreates]

Jlaire Week Ask Game

Yeah, I went ahead and answered all of them. :P

Light and Darkness - What got you into Jlaire in the first place and what makes it one of if not your favorite ship?

I’m pretty sure I shipped them from the very first episode. First, we’ve been introduced to Jim, who is like the sweetest character ever. So when we saw him literally drooling over Claire, we know she has to be special.

It doesn’t take much time for them to interact and I remember loving that scene because I didn’t know there was so much Spanish in the show (at least in the first season). Both that interaction and the one just before the audition show they’re actually interested in each other and I’ve loved their dynamic from the beginning.

I think they somehow remind me of my own characters, Zem and Aury, since he’s the anxious one and she has to help him (even though Aury is way more short-tempered than Claire).

Romeo and Juliet- What's your favorite Jlaire moment form Trollhunters?

There are many good ones to choose. I love when she discovers his secret, the dance in the hill and when he reaches out to help her when she makes that mega-portal. They really care about each other and I think the best part is how we’re able to see their relationship flourish during the seasons.

Beauty and the Beast- What's your favorite Jlaire moment from Wizards?

The picnic, for sure. I think we should have seen more Jlaire interactions when he was a half Troll. I loved all the scenes where Claire gets to protect Jim, showing how much she has improved as a sorceress, but there’s something about them being able to relax and have an actual date.

Tragic Love - What's your Jlaire heartbreaking moment in the series?

Even though Jim knowing he’s not going to survive if they go back to the present is a close one, I have to say when Claire finds his soul wandering over the Killahead Bridge in the Shadow Realm. I’m a hopeless romantic and what breaks my heart is that “being close but still too far from each other” if you know what I mean.

My Romeo - What's your favorite Jlaire quote from Trollhunters?

From Hero of a 1000 faces: “This is the worst day of my life.” “That’t the real Jim.” It’s so funny, but also shows how much she’s gotten to know him.

100 Life times - What's your favorite Jlaire Quote from Wizards?

That’s a tough one. I liked the “I'd date you for a hundred lifetimes, Jim Lake.”… until the movie came out. So I guess: “But I've fought across time and space to bring you back.” Because of the same reason that scene is so heartbreaking to me.

Toby dating Advices - What's your advice for Jim that would help with him Claire

Actually, I think things worked out quite well. I would have advised him to be braver but he actually ended up being it, so...

Mary Dating Advice- what's your advice for Claire that would help her with Jim.

Actually, I think things worked out quite well.

time and Space - What's your Aus for Jim and Claire relationship or what's your favorite Au for them?

I have a soft spot for Beauty and the Beast kind of stories, so most of my Aus revolve around that. I seriously thing Troll Jim was underused and I’d have liked to see more of them as a couple, like travelling to New Jersey. That’s why I had to write about that and why Lights and Shadows of Camelot is the culmination of it. BTW, I’ve written a lot about Jlaire in my fanfics, if you’re interested 😊

Shadowhunter - What's your favorite headcanons for Jlaire?

They send messages all the time, checking out the other is okay. Jim makes Claire her favorite cookies and she takes him on dates using portals to visit new places.

If you have any more questions or want me to elaborate about anything, don't be afraid to ask!

Sadly, I won't be able to do any prompts, but I'm gonna share some Jlaire art I have around and you can check out my fanfics for more Jlaire content!:

-New Jersey: A brief story of what happened in the journey to New Jersey that had place during the season 2 of 3Below.

-Awakening: A novelized version of the 11th episode of the third season, "Jimhunters". Includes original new scenes.

-The Arrival: Final chapter of "New Jersey", connecting the story with "Wizards".

-Light through yonder window: After being attacked by Nomura, Jim is brought to the hospital. Claire decides she has to go and stay by his side. Tells what happened between the episodes 'Claire and Present Danger' and 'Battle of Two Bridges' and a couple of things more.

-Waiting: Jim has entered the Darklands. Claire and Toby will have to act quickly and not fall into despair.

-Butterflies and Christmas Jlaire, from Arcadian Nights.

-Lights and Shadows of Camelot: Claire has just discovered her magic powers and goes to Camelot so Morgana can teach her. One night, she'll meet the Trollhunter.

[ainyan]

45 Romantic Quotes (Movie Edition)

“What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey, that’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon.”

“I never wanted to have anything in my life that I couldn’t stand losing. But it’s too late for that. It’s not because you’re beautiful and smart and perfect. I don’t feel alone anymore.”

“And most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.”

“Are you very much in love with her?” “As much as a man can be.” “Do you think there’s a limit?” “If there is, I haven’t found it.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”

“There I was, standing there in the church, and for the first time in my whole life I realized I totally and utterly loved one person. And it wasn’t the person next to me in the veil. It’s the person standing opposite me now…in the rain.”

“If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”

“I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.”

“You must do me this honor, you must promise me that you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, and never let go of that promise.”

“People think that we’re crazy. It will never work. You’re going to fail. … Those are the beginning of every great success story.”

“You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life. But you made a mistake. Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You’re the girl of my dreams…and, apparently, I’m the man of yours.”

“No measure of time with you will be long enough. But, we’ll start with forever.”

“It’s an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bare your soul to, and who’ll accept you for what you are.”

“When I’m with you, I feel so safe. Like I’m home.”

“I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.”

“People do fall in love. People do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance that anyone’s got for true happiness.”

“I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head, and you listen to your heart.”

“No matter what happens now or for the rest of my life, I’m happy now because I love you.”

“I know I can’t make the bad go away. You’re right, I can’t. But when the bad comes again…I’m gonna be next to you.”

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give to you forever.”

“So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?” “She rescues him right back.”

“I can’t figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you.”

“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together, and I knew it. I knew it the first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I’d ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew it. It was like magic.”

“Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”

“When he looks at me, the way he looks at me, he does not know what I lack or how I am incomplete. He sees me for what I am, as I am. He’s happy to see me. Every time. Every day.”

“That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying ‘As you wish,’ what he meant was ‘I love you.’ And then even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.”

“I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

“You’re not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: This girl you’ve met, she’s not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other.”

“I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are, my mother has trouble remembering my name.” “I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

“… If you trusted love this far, don’t panic now. Trust it all the way.”

“You are not unlovable. There is always something to love. Even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we get very good with our feet.”

“I’m always just about to fall off of the edge of the tallest building. I stopped falling the second I saw you.”

“And when her lips found mine, I knew I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would compare to that one moment when I kissed the girl of my dreams for the first time and knew that my love would make it last forever.”

“Our love is like the wind: I can’t see it, but I sure can feel it.”

“I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.”

“Loss has been a part of my journey. But it has also shown me what is precious. So has a love for which I can only be grateful.”

“I just wanted to take another look at you.”

“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.”

“My dearest friend, If you don’t mind, I’d like to join you by your side. Where we could gaze into the stars, and sit together, now and forever. For it is plain as anyone could see, we’re simply meant to be.”

“Death cannot stop true love. It can only delay it a little while.”

“In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find someone who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you.”

“You complete me.”

“It’s like in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together.”

“Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy.”

“I would rather be a ghost drifting by your side as a condemned soul than enter heaven without you. Because of your love, I will never be a lonely spirit.”

[lil-oreo-crumbles]

Meet the Main Four! {Vanished}

Kennadi, Carter, Adam, and Ella

The four main characters of my long-standing original story, Vanished (created in Oct 2018), pre-inciting incident (the titular “Vanishing”)

To put it simply, Vanished is about four high school Seniors stuck together after everyone disappears, and not only have to get along and repopulate the planet, but determine what caused the “disappearance” in the first place.

It’s a four book series and a WILD ride.

An official introduction to the four survivors!

Kennadi Myers, Student Body President of Kaye’s Creek Academy, and the protagonist of “Vanished”. An incredibly humble and selfless girl with a heart of gold, she is determined to love others unconditionally and bring them joy. Whatever the cost, she is determined to improve the lives of others around her. But will her endless dedication and sacrifice be her greatest strength, or the source of her downfall? As the designated leader of the four survivors, she’s determined to keep everyone happy and safe, ensuring everyone is healing and able to access necessary resources. But with the weight of this daunting task and her own survival at hand, how will she find out how everything happened, and is there any hope for a solution?

Ella Perez, Kennadi’s best friend and an undeniable hopeless romantic, who loves writing in her journal: poems, diary entries, stories, scripts, and songs. Having known Kennadi since middle school, the two have been tied at the hip as each other’s best friend. She is unquestionably Kennadi’s right hand, and will do anything to ensure her well-being. But Ella dreams of being more, determined to ask out the woman of her dreams to Prom. That is… until the vanishing. With survival on the line and the loss of everything she once knew, her personal romantic endeavors must be put on hold. But if one thing’s for sure, she’s grateful that she still has Kennadi in her life to rely and depend on in her hard times.

Adam Gadot, a reserved and quiet boy who lives his life in silence, preferring to remain in the background with his headphones blocking out any noise. He’s known Kennadi from a distance since Kindergarten, but they don’t know each other well. Hell, no one really knows Adam well. Not even Carter, a long time friend since the beginning of High School. All that’s really known is that he streams video games on various platforms with a sizeable audience, the rest is a mystery. With a past full of rejection and abandonment, trust is not something he lends out to anyone. But after truly losing everything in his entire life, learning to trust again is going to be a difficult process.

Carter Ryland, one of the most prominent and popular players on the Kaye’s Creek Academy football team! An incredibly social, hyperactive, extroverted boy with his entire future in College Football and (hopefully) the NFL planned out for him. He’s got some of the best friends he’s ever had, notoriety from his peers, and adoring parents. But with everything he’s worked for coming crashing down with the vanishing, emotional outbursts and anger rise to the surface. What will be the key to softening his hardened, yet fragile, heart?

YIPPEE HERE IS THEM 👏👏. Feel free to make assumptions about the characters and story, and DEFINITELY feel free to ask questions!!

[infintiandbeyond]

Marigolds don’t taste like honey || Bakugou x GN!Reader

Prompt: Reader catches hanahaki disease for Bakugou. Will he figure it out before it's too late?

This is my first real completed fanfiction work. Please be nice. I tried to make this gender neutral and non discriminate so everyone can enjoy. Constructive criticism is welcomed. No beta so if there are mistakes please let me know. Thank you and enjoy.

Warning: Angst, happy ending, mentions of blood, near death experiences, self-sacrificing behavior, oblivious boys, tears and cursing. 

Word count : 5.5k

Read this on AO3 as well

--------------------------

You and Katsuki had been friends for exactly 7 years, 11 months and 29 days.

You were on the verge of spending 8 years by the side of the rudest, self-centered, egotistical megalomaniac and could not think of any other way you would have rather spent your time. Because no matter how much Katsuki pushes your buttons, it's hard to hate the love of your life. And it’s moments like today that make you realize just how gone you are for your best friend. 

You glanced around at the pieces of marigolds scattered around and the splotches of blood that stained your favorite Dynamight graphic tee as you gaze at the last few moments of the sunrise over the horizon. You reached your hand up and brushed against the trunk of the tree that had been here for years. Childish scratches had been carved into the trunk. 

Katsuki + (Y/n)

Well…at least he won’t be alone. You looked at the brightening sky one last time and whispered your final goodbye as the heaviness in your body finally caught up with you, closing your eyes to the sound of firecrackers in the distance.

___________

A day ago…

“Mina, I really don't think this is a good idea.” You threw yourself onto the bed inside your apartment, suppressing the urge to hide inside the closet and never see the light of day again.

“(Y/n), think how romantic it would be for you to confess to Bakugou on the anniversary of the day you guys became friends. I can't think of a more adorable get together story.” you could hear Mina swooning over the phone at the thought of how picturesque that moment would be in theory. However, in reality, that is probably the furthest thing from the truth that could happen. 

“You mean how suicidal it would be to confess to an emotionally constipated man that could kill me without a second thought,” you moaned in frustrastion. “We’ve been friends for forever and I would hate to ruin the years of trust built into that bond over a stupid crush.”

You got off the bed and started to head to the small kitchen down the hall for a glass of water. They could feel the start of a sore throat beginning, maybe karaoke night with Mina and Denki wasn’t the best idea in hindsight. 

“But it isn’t stupid, you won’t ever know if those feelings are reciprocated if you never give it the chance.” Mina was a sweetheart, really, but when it came to matters of the heart, her approach tended to lean more towards the hopeless romantic side of things. You could tell she meant well and maybe she was right, Kats might feel the same way. 

Or he could hate her for even suggesting such a thing. Honestly there is a 50/50 chance here. 

“Maybe you’re right Mina, I'll go see if he wants to hangout after patrol next week and maybe I will have the courage to confess by then.” You continued to take some more sips of your water. Geez, I might have to grab some cough drops. The tickle in your throat seemed to get a little worse with the addition of the water. you feel the phone vibrate on your face, indicating an incoming message.

BoomBoomBoy:

Hey idiot, I left my lunch in my fridge so I have to order takeout. I’m getting some curry from the place on 50th, and I don’t want to hear your fucking complaining about how I ate it without you. Meet me in my office in an hour. 

“Speaking of the devil, he just demanded I spend his lunch with him so I gotta head to the office now. Maybe I'll be able to ask him to -” You began to cough very hard, as if there was something stuck in the back of your throat. “Sorry Mina, I think I'm coming down with something, but I am going to start getting ready now.”

“No problem, I hope you feel better, and remember even if he says no, there's still a place for you in my heart.” you loved Mina, truly. They hung up the phone and left to get ready to eat lunch with Bakugou, not noticing the three flower petals lying precariously next to the glass of water. 

___________

At the office…

You march your way into the building, past the receptionist and into the elevator that was specifically reserved for Midoriya and Katsuki. You pressed the button for the top floor. As the numbers on the screen begin the increase, signaling your ascent to his office, you couldn’t help but feel a heaviness weighing in your stomach. This is the kind of confession that could change the course of your life. You and Katsuki had been friends for so long and much of your lives were ingrained with each other’s presence. Movie and dinner nights when he was free from patrol, quick lunch outings when he couldn’t get away from the office, quiet brunches at the coffee shop when you were having trouble sleeping or when work got too stressful. He was a pillar in your life that you didn’t think you could afford to lose. 

The elevator rang, notifying you that you had finally made it to your desitination. You walk briskly down the hall to your left, hoping to not lose your nerve. As you get closer to Katsuki’s office you can hear the gruff rumbles of his voice through the walls.

“Of course I don’t know what to fucking do Shitty Hair, i’ve never been great at this type of shit.” Bakugou sounded very frustrated with the topic of conversation. You start to slightly open the door, aiming to signal your entrance, just in case this was a sensitive topic. However, before you could peep your head around, the next words that tumbled from his math stopped you in your tracks.

“You know it’s not that fucking simple, dumbass. I can’t just tell them how I fucking feel. I think I might actually love them- No, I know I fucking love the shit out of them and I can’t do anything about it.” There was a slight pause where you assumed Kirishima was answering him. “FUCKING FINE!” He lowered his tone, “I’ll talk to them tonight about it and see, but if this shit doesn’t work and I lose her, you're gonna wish I had killed your ass.” His voice had sounded more serious than you had ever heard him before. Even more than when he had declared that he would stop at nothing to be Number One. 

I felt something drop on your hand, and looked down. Water was dripping from your hand. You quickly touched your face…no that wasn't water. You had started to shed tears and didn’t realize it. You released the door like it was on fire and ran to the nearest restroom. 

Katsuki is in love… 

You grasp at the edges of the sink as you try to coach yourself to breathe. You glanced up at the mirror and grimaced at the puffiness of your face and the redness of your eyes. Grabbing some paper towels you start to wipe your face with some cold water to try and salvage your demeanor before you have to go back. As you finally get cleaned up and start fixing yourself to head back out the door, a sudden wave of dizziness starts to overtake you. You lean over the sink and begin to hack and cough as if something was lodged within the back of your throat. Little splatters of blood began to cover the white porcelain sink and you watched yourself in horror as little by little, bunches of yellow petals began to litter the rest of the sink. When you had finally finished with your coughing fit, you looked at the sick. In utter despair you fell to your knees at the sight of 3 rather large marigold flowers on top of the pile of petals. 

Katsuki is in love… and it's going to fucking kill me.

___________

You finally were able to manage and get yourself together enough to exit the bathroom. Bless whoever has to clean up that mess. You shakily made your way to the frosted glass door labeled: DYNAMIGHT. You slowly knock on the door, interrupting Katsuki’s current conversation.

“I ALREADY TOLD YOU FUCKING EXTRAS THAT IM TAKING MY LUNCH AND TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” his voice bellowed throughout the hallway, bouncing off the walls. You opened the door anyway and peeked your head in the door. Bakugou sat upright at his desk and hurriedly hung up the phone, not even bothering to tell Kirishima goodbye. You resist the urge to not feel offended as he laid his eyes on you. His features visibly softened as he recognized who had knocked on his door and graced you with a wide and vicious smirk. 

“Hey shortcake, what took you so fucking long?” To an untrained eye, he looked as if he had been waiting for you to come this entire time. But you could tell, outside of walking in on his earlier discussion, the slight sheen on his forehead, the rhythmic tapping of his fingers on his desk and the shakiness behind his shit-eating smirk very much signaled that he was nervous about something and DID NOT want to talk about it. Your heart thumped loudly in your chest. 

“Hey Firecracker, what are you up to?” You secretly hoped that he would clear up the fog of confusion in your brain. You’re his best friend, he told you everything. The day that he thought about leaving Endeavor’s agency and starting his own, he spent the night with you planning out everything to get started. The nightmares he had about the LOV, were comforted by you. You were there for everything, and as much as it would pain you, there’s no way you wouldn’t be there for this. 

“Absolutely nothing, just dealing with some goddamn PR nightmare. Some dumb shit about my image not being too great.” Your heart dropped. He had lied to you. He lied to you. He LIED to you.  Katsuki is in love with some women and didn’t even plan to tell me about it. Your shaky smile dropped fiercely, but you quickly recovered and attempted to give another smile but only managed a bleak grimace. Bakugo, mistaking that look as a response to his answer, gestured for you to come and sit at his desk with him. His usual client chair was replaced with a comfortable armchair in anticipation of your visit. He knew that the chair was unbearingly uncomfortable on purpose to make his clients uneasy in his presence but switches it out for something more comfortable when you visit him. 

“Come sit the hell down shortstack.” He had also taken to calling you aggressively affectionate names after a small incident in which you yelled at him that calling you a ‘dumbass idiot’ all the time wasn’t the most friendly experience. Thus these ‘sweet’ insults were formed. 

You walked your way over to his desk, why he had it at the absolute other end of the room still astounded you but you’re starting to believe everything about his office was an intimidation tactic. Usually it doesn't bother you but after the events that just occurred, it starts to nip at your nerves, leaving you a little unsteady. Once you had made it to your designated chair, you were shocked to see that in place of the mediocre curry that you were expecting from Mrs Lee’s cute little curry shop down the street, Katsuki had placed you very beautifully made bento boxes on his desk. The smell of his signature curry wafts up your nose and you look at him in confusion. He gave a slight smile in response.

“You really think I’d feed you shit that wasn’t the best, huh?” He raised his eyebrow in question. “You know know my food is the fucking best, and I don’t settle for anything less than perfection.” And while those words would usually send your heart soaring at the gesture that is so unapologetically Katsuki Bakugou, you couldn’t help but feel a faint pang in your heart at those words and you feel your throat start to close up just a bit. You gave a strained smile back at him. “Damn Kats, you didn’t have to do that. How am I supposed to hold up my end of this friendship if you’re always trying to one up me?” 

“You’re not. I’m the fucking best.You can’t compete with me.” He looked at you proudly, as if he was pleased that he could do shit like this and leave you feeling swept off your feet. You sat down in your chair, feeling a little lighter than when you came in. You both began to quietly dig in, but you could still feel the nervous energy radiating off him in waves. You glanced up at him and noticed that he was already staring right at you. 

You blinked at him, “Suki are you okay?” you gently grabbed the hand that was still tapping away at the edge of the desk. That was the name reserved for the softest of moments, when he knows you're genuinely concerned. 

He blinked back, shaking his head and gave you back a shaky smirk. “Yeah, just going through a lot of shit at work, but we’re not here to talk about that bullshit. We’re here to enjoy a nice lunch by yours truly. So don’t worry your pretty little head, ya little ankle biter.” He ruffled the hair on top of your head. You swatted his hand away, and he gave a deep chuckle as you attempted to readjust your hair back to its original state. You spent a lot of time looking presentable… not that you’d be able to do what you planned to do anyways. 

“I got a couple of things to do after work today but I’m coming over tonight.” Bakugou had a way of inserting himself in your life without asking but knew when he was welcomed. You were sad. Would he go confess his love tonight and tell you in the aftermath? Am I the asshole if I tell him to fuck off? You shook the thoughts away. “Okay, i’ll pick out some movies then.” You hate your life sometimes. 

“Not any of that psychological thriller shit either, can’t get a good night's sleep after that.” He frowned at the thought. 

“All Might’s new documentary is out.” You suggested, knowing that he couldn’t resist seeing his hero. His eyes lit up. “Now you’re talking, tiny.” You finished your lunch in companionable silence. 

___________

Home…

Once you made it through your apartment door, you raced to the toilet. The next several hours were spent in a pattern of throwing up bloody golden petals and researching the hell out of what you hoped you weren’t experiencing. You stared at your phone.

WebMD

Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病) : a disease in which the patient coughs up flower petals when they suffer from a one-sided love. It can end when the object of thier affections returns thier affections (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It may be cured through surgical removal, but with the infection goes all romantic feelings for thier beloved. 

No.Fucking.Way.

What the hell does WebMD know? I need a medical professional, because I can’t possibly be going through the dumbest shit in history. You call up Recovery Girl, having gained a more personal relationship with her during your time in UA. She was able to make some room for you in her schedule. 

When you made it to her office, she was already set up and waiting for you. You made your way over to the medical bed and began to explain what was going on as she checked your vitals. When you mentioned the pile of petals that began to appear seemingly overnight, she looked at you with a horror stricken appearance. It did not look comforting. She confirmed your self-diagnosis, it was Hanahaki and you were in the final stages. 

“Oh dearie,” she paused with a heavy sigh, “I can have you scheduled for the surgery in three days. You’d have to avoid whoever it is until then, or risk furthering your condition even more, and considering you’re in the final stages already you’d be facing a fatal end.” She hung her head and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Everything will be oka-

“I don’t want the surgery.” You said it before thinking, but you were sure about your decision. Losing feelings for Katsuki, means losing everything they had built over the past almost eight years. They’ve been through so much together and you’d be damn to have to lose it all now. You looked at her in a false determination. “I’m going to talk to him. There’s gotta be something we can do. I refuse to take the easy way out here.”

She tried to stop you as you began to collect all your things and head to the door. “But dear, if you confess and he doesn’t return those affections then you could die.” She looked as if the room might collapse on her at any moment. She had grown fond of you in the past few years you’ve known each other and would hate to see you risk your life. You shook your head and walked out the door, missing the small tear that ran down Recovery Girl’s face.

“Young Mr. Bakugou better realize his feelings for them before it's too late.”

___________

As you pulled back into your apartment complex, the panic and reality of the situation had started to settle in your mind. You began to hyperventilate. How the hell are you going to save yourself and your friendship? Can I really hope for the best and confess? Even if I don’t, I still have to explain the gravity of the situation. Would it be delusional to hope that maybe Kat’s mystery girl was me? You started to feel a little hope in the pit of despair you call your heart. 

You were greeted on your own front door steps by the man in question. Katsuki Bakugou stood firmly in front of your door with bags in his arms, irritation on his face and knuckles poised to knock fiercely again. “OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, (Y/N)! I KNOW YOU HEAR ME FUCKING CALLING YOU.” 

You rushed to his side and grabbed his hand, nerves sparking at the touch. “Don’t burn my door down, you damn spitfire. I just went out real quick. Geez, you’re so impatient.” You open the door to let you both in, he makes his way straight to the kitchen. Placing his overnight bag by your door and the snacks he bought in the living room. Throwing his jacket on the coat rack, he made himself at home on your couch, scrolling to the All Might Documentary scheduled to come on. 

“You know I hate waiting, it's not like I was worried about your ass or anything.” What you didn’t manage to catch was the small blush on his upper cheeks at his behavior as he faced away from you and fiddled with the TV remote. 

Once you go and get comfortable, you make your way onto the couch right beside him. This was a common occurrence between the two of you. Days when you both were free from responsibilities and work, you’d cuddle up on the couch and binge whatever TV trash was on today while sipping on some handmade cocktail Katsuki had made for the two of you. They were always good and ALWAYS strong. It was a nice distraction from the woes of everyday life, which was particularly helpful on days like today.

Before you were even aware, you’d both fallen into easy conversation, drinks were flowing and it had begun to reach further into the night before you had gained the confidence to finally have a conversation with him. You both stared at each other, a moment of silence had passed, and then you both opened your mouth.

“I need to talk-”

“I have a question-”

You both stopped and blushed in embarrassment at the moment. You swallowed your nerves and let him go first.

“So (y/n),” he never really says your given name unless it's urgent. He swallows hard. “There’s been something that i’ve been meanin to talk to ya about. I’m not really sure how you’ll take it but it’s important that you understand that I would never want to hurt ya, and your friendship means the absolute fucking world to me.” He gets a little choked up. “Um..there’s this girl ya see… and i kinda like the little shit but i’ve just been uh… a little too distracted to talk to her. It’s not because I'm nervous or any dumb shit like that… just a little overwhelmed with some things. But tonight is the night im gonna tell ‘er.” He was breathing a little too heavy as if these were dying words. “(Y/n), I really fucking like - no im in love with-”. His dialogue was discontinued by a loud ringing sound coming from his phone. He looked really frustrated at the interruption. He picked up his phone and glanced at the caller. You were only able to glean the name from the top of the phone before you swiped right on the caller and looked at you - Round Cheeks.

“Sorry, (y/n) - fuck, i really need to take this right now. Just hold on a sec.” He raced to the spare room and closed the door. 

You sat on the couch frozen. You weren’t sure how to feel. You were almost sure you had a chance at this, but from what it sounds like…you’ve been friendzoned pretty hard. For fucking Uraraka. You could hear your heart beating in your ears. The blood rushing to your face at the utter embarrassment you would’ve just made of yourself had you confess your feelings for this man. This man who valued you as a friend, and apparently nothing more. Your chest started to feel constricted. Your airways are closing. You were overcome with several emotions all at once. Anger, jealousy, despair and of course… fear. You were gonna die unless you got that surgery. 

He exited the bedroom, looking very relieved and almost… happy. You guess the phone call went well. He walked in big strides to your side and grabbed your hands. They were sweaty like always, it was one of the things you had always liked about him, no matter how self-conscious it made him. You both stared into each other's eyes. You could feel the oncoming signs of another floral arrangement, and if he said those fatal words to you, you didn’t know if you’d be able to take it. He started to open his mouth again, but before he could finish his thought, you stopped him in his tracks. 

“Hey Katsuki, i don’t think i’m feeling too well. Could we maybe raincheck for another day. I think i’m going to be sick.” You start to clean up the snack wrappers from the living room. He immediately looked concern. 

“If you’re feeling sick, munchkin, then let me help ya.” He started to walk away to maybe make some soup or grab medicine like he always does, but that’s not what you wanted. You wanted him to go. 

“No, Katsuki, I think I'm all good here by myself. I’ll just go to the doctor’s tomorrow.” You hated turning him away, but it was for both of your own goods. 

“What the hell is up with ya, shorty?” He was starting to get frustrated. Why won’t you let him help? “Just let me take care of ya.” He walked over to your side where your back was turned towards him. He grabs your arm and turns you around. You were crying.

“NO, BAKUGOU! I'M GOOD JUST LEAVE!” You shrugged his hands off you and headed towards the door. He was just making this harder for you, why couldn’t he just understand. He needed to go, the longer he stayed the sicker you felt, but when you looked him in the eyes, it broke down every defense you had, you couldn’t lose your feelings for this man. No surgery could stop these feelings.

“I'M NOT JUST GONNA LEAVE YOU HERE TO FIGHT THIS DAMN SICKNESS ALONE!” He just wanted to help you. He cared about you more than he wanted to admit, and you denying him was something he didn’t know how to take. 

“Fine then,” You put your shoes on and grabbed your keys. You looked back at him as you put one foot out the door. “If you won’t leave then I will.” Maybe you were overreacting here but you couldn’t stand to stay there in that room with him, knowing that any second you’d cough up bloody marigolds and have to explain why you might die there in his arms. You closed the door behind you, coughing on your way out as you struggled to make your way to your car. 

___________

Bakugou wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. One minute he was enjoying the only real piece of comfort he had in this world, and now he stared at a closed door as the love of his life walked out on him. Confusion settled in his stomach. 

What the absolute fuck just happened? He replayed all the events of tonight's festivities. You guys were finally watching that All Might documentary that he had been putting off for ages just to watch with you. You were both a little tipsy but the atmosphere was light and fun. You looked so beautiful. Your cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, and you stuffed your face with chips, not worrying about how you might look. He loved that about you. The way you were unabashedly you, how you cared about him, how you seemed to love him. It was that moment that gave him the confidence to confess. He had to tell you now, there’s so much he wanted to do, to experience, to learn with you, and if he didn’t take those steps now, he might never take them. He steeled his nerves to tell you the truth of his heart, but before he could say those important words, Uraraka called. 

Fucking round cheeks has the worst fucking timing. He had commissioned Uraraka and Kirishima to set something of a date up for the two of you, had this evening gone to plan. However, the plans were a bit time sensitive, given that your friendship anniversary was in two days, and he wanted everything to be perfect, this call was important. He swore he had only stepped out for two seconds to confirm the dinner reservation and the schedule swapping he did to ensure that no one would bother him for work duties that day.  

When he stepped back out into the living room, he could feel a change in the atmosphere, but that wasn’t enough to deter him from talking to you. He walked towards you, butterflies in his whole body. He grabbed your hands. They were soft. Comforting. Just like you. But before he could express these thoughts to you, everything went to shit. 

You were sick, you usually were after a few too many drinks but never this early in the night. He went to grab your tylenol from the medicine cabinet, he couldn’t resist the urge to take care of you. Especially, when that’s all you’ve ever done for him. He’s gone through a lot to be the man he is today, and a majority of that he owes to your too-kind-for-your-own-good nature. But today you didn’t want his help, you wanted him to leave, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why.

He sat on your couch, confused about what to do now. 

Maybe I should call Shitty Hair, it was his dumb fucking idea anyway. He looked around for his phone but couldn’t find it. He walked past the front door, where he saw you had dropped your phone in your haste to leave. He looked at the time 5:36 AM. 

The sun is about to fucking rise and their out there, god knows where, sick to thier goddamn stomach. What the hell am I doing? I need to go find them.

He was about to grab his jacket when he caught a missed call and voicemail from Recovery Girl. He knew you two were pretty close, especially after all the time you spent by his side in the infirmary. He clicked on the voicemail, it must’ve been important if she left a voicemail. 

“Hello dearie, I hope this doesn’t reach you too late. I did some analysis on your bloodwork after you left so I could see if there were some more options for you. Unfortunately, it seems as if you have contracted a very rare form of Hanahaki Disease. This particular form takes place over a 24 hour period and only allows you that time frame to find a cure. I’m not sure when you first started to develop signs but it is imperative that you give me a call right away.”

Bakugou dropped the phone from his hands. Hanahaki Disease? The fucking love disease? You had fallen in love? And with some dumbass idiot who didn’t feel the same way? 

How dare that bastard not love you? You were perfect. You were kind, caring and smart. You didn’t take anyones bullshit and you stood by those you love. Now you were god knows how long away from fucking dying and there was nothing he could do?

No. There was something he could do. He could find you and make this right. Even if you didn’t love him the way he loved you, you didn’t deserve to die over it. You deserved to be happy. He was going to make sure that fucking happened. Bakugou grabbed the door but was met with a wet sensation. There was blood on the door, and a trail of yellow petals greeted him from the door to the parking lot. 

Fuck…I hope im not too late. He jumped in the air and began to search for your figure. You didn’t make it far. Your car was haphazardly parked on the side of the park that you two often frequented together. You were laying by the tree that you two had carved your names in years ago. His heart seized at the sight of so much blood and flowers that surrounded you. 

He landed by your side. Two fingers pressed against your throat. You were barely breathing. He had to get you out of here. 

“Shit, wake up shortcake.” His voice sounded teary. “We gotta find the bastard that did this to ya. I’ll make him pay” He started to pick you up.

You roused a bit from the noise. You had to be dreaming. Bakugou stood over you. The rising sun shining behind him, giving him a golden glow. You smiled.

What a way to go. You raised your hand up to his cheek. Blood smears across his cheek. Even though he wasn’t real, it couldn’t hurt to lift this heaviness off your shoulders. You locked eyes with him and croaked out your last words. 

“I’m sorry for loving you, ‘Suki. You mean the world to me and I wish I could’ve told you.”

Bakugou froze in his panicked state. You loved him? Then why the fuck were you dying? Of course he loved you too. How could he not.

He grabbed you by the face. “Don’t you ever dare be sorry for loving me, because I’m sure the hell not.” He pressed his lips to yours so brutally, you’d think he was waging a war on your face. 

The suffocating feeling in your chest lifted itself so quickly as if it had never been there. You could breathe again.The feeling of being on death’s door had miraculously disappeared, and against all odds you had lived. You had lived because Katsuki loved you and you loved him back. 

Tears gathered at the corners of your eyes and you wrapped your arms around him.

“I love you so much Katsuki.”

“I love you too (Y/n). Now let's get your ass home, and into some clean clothes. I can’t let my girl get sick for real.” He quickly lifted you off the ground, not giving you a chance to voice your protests. But you’d gladly be in his arms forever. 

[seblaineaddict]

You Kissed My Flaws...& Made Them Perfect

In a world where every single person has a Soulmate bearing their identical Soulmark and is bound by law to pursue a life with their Soulmate once located, Sebastian and Blaine are gay as a rainbow men from very different countries, who have never met....yet.

Sebastian Smythe is a charming, devilishly handsome (and doesn't he know it!) 30 year-old commitment-phobe still living in his native Paris, where he is an LGBTQ+ Rights Lawyer. He is highly promiscuous, enjoys the finer things in life, especially very expensive Wines and Spirits and First Edition Science Fiction novels, comes from old and new money, and is a bit of a risk taker, to boot.

As far as his 'love life' goes, he pretty exclusively prefers hookups and shuns anything serious, to which end he has never sought out his Soulmate. He really doesn’t see the point, is 100% against people being forced into 'unnatural' liaisons with someone they have never met, just because they share some unremovable (believe me he has tried to remove it - many times!) permanent Body Art that's branded into their skin.. somewhere...on their bodies, and he is determined to challenge, then ultimately overthrow, the Law that decrees you will become bound to your Soulmate from the very second you locate them.

29 year-old jaded (hopeless!) romantic Blaine Anderson is an equally gorgeous (though with a much more dapper and sweet side) Broadway star who lives in Upper Manhattan, New York, and is currently playing Elder Cunningham in The Book Of Mormon. He has had a similarly privileged upbringing to Sebastian, albeit in the US, and is not in the best place in himself. when our story begins

He (spectacularly!) failed to find his Soulmate after a long, long, long and arduous quest to do so, then gave up on men completely after his Fiancé Kurt, with whom he shared a tumultuous, unequal and in truth pretty freaking toxic six year long relationship, finally broke off their engagement. His heart is bruised and battered, and his self-esteem is in tatters, after Kurt slowly but surely eroded the very essence of Blaine and dulled the shine of everything about him that made him so unique and so vibrant….

...then fucked Blaine's co-star and ran off into the sunset with him…

What will happen when (via Grindr - of course!) these two polar opposites discover they are intrinsically and irreversibly linked? Can twin flames bound by law to meet, then pursue a life together, no matter how much the Fates seem to be weighted against them, make a go of things without killing each other in the process? Can an arranged (by law!) relationship ultimately beat the odds and lead to a happy ever after?

Well..you're going to have to read their story to find that out, but rest assured it will not be short on drama, heartache, pining, Angst, laughter, happiness, many hilarious and absolutely NOT so hilarious misunderstandings, and of course…a great deal of good old fashioned…

…hot sex! Oh, yes, and romance and Love of course, too! 😏😉

The unexpected news is - this is actually going to be turned into a fic! Yes..despite still having been unable to update my three ongoing Longfics, due to my increased commitments, I sat down last night to write a short bio to accompany this graphic, and..it took on arms and legs. So yes. A fic it shall become. Either a One-Shot or at most four chapters, but definitely a fic. Soon... And now that I have managed to make time to write, I'm determined to update my other three fics by New Year's Eve! 

Wishing everyone a fantastic 10 Days Of Seblaine, and also an amazing 12th (ahhhhh!) Seblainiversary on 8th November!

10 Days Of Seblaine 2023

6th November 2023 : Day 1: Soulmates/Soulmarks

@seblaineworld

[munsonownsmyass]

Michael Kinsella x reader

Authors note: I have been through the emotional ringer lately and after listening to a Hozier song today, I just felt I needed to put this down on paper.

Sometimes life is hard, but it's important not to lose hope.

Thank you to @e-dubbc11 for ensuring me that the first thing I've written in almost two months aren't shit. Love you hun ❤️

Warnings: Angsty, bad self image, a hopeless romantic feeling anything but love, hopeful endings, a smidge of fluff.

Words: 1.1K

I never really thought I was worth anything and so far, life hasn’t really showed me anything to prove me wrong. This is not a sob story where I go into detail about how my parents didn’t have time for me or how I didn’t have any friends growing up. I won’t force you to sit through pages upon pages of me telling you about my countless wrecked relationships, how I’ve been ghosted more than a haunted house or about all the times I’ve thought to myself ‘This is it. I’ve found it.’, just to be proven wrong again. To once again have my heart shattered.

I know deep down that the problem might be me. I mean, all these things do have me in common. Maybe I’m just not worth it? Maybe I should just move to a cabin in the woods, get a bunch of dogs and live happily ever after as an author, alone and content… Given that my books could even sell, that is…

You see, my problem is that I’ve always believed in true love. Happily ever after. That one day I’d look into the eyes of another and find the missing piece of my soul and finally feel like I belong somewhere for the first time in my life. But I’m starting to believe that true love only exists in fairytales and that it’s never going to happen to me. I remain hopeful, but I wouldn’t bet any money on me finding my one true love.

You know that one person you’d want to look at every night before you go to sleep and can’t wait to see again in the morning as the sun shines through the blinds, falling perfectly on their face. Don’t we all want that all-consuming ‘can’t live without each other’ love? I certainly do and I remain hopeful… Or I try to.

Cause what is life without hope? Would it even be worth getting up in the morning? I go to bed some nights not sure if I even want to wake up the next day, but I still wake each morning, lying to myself that it will get better. That today might be the day that everything changes.

Okay, before I start sounding like I’m a depressed little person, I would want to say you’ve caught me at a bad time. Just got ditched again after thinking he was the right guy. I had already started mentally moving into a little cottage where we could grow old together, but alas… I was again proven that some men are just dicks or that I’m the problem… And I really don’t want to think about the last one.

So yes. Right now, I could curse every single man to hell, but who am I kidding? Give me 5 minutes and I will look into the eyes of a new stranger and fall a little again. As Hozier sings ‘I fall in love just a little bit every day with someone new’, cause I’m weird like that. I always see the best in people, and I always imagine how they might be like, what kind of music they might listen and if they are a cat or dog person.

This is my fault, I’m sure. If I really have to think about it. I fall too easily. So I’ll try to stop. This time I’ve promised myself I will not even look at another guy again. I’m better of alone.

---

So… It only lasted two days. I actually did manage to not even respond to that random dude who sled into the dm’s on my social media or the flirty guy at the counter as I hand him his coffee. I remained strong until he came in.

He’d been coming into the coffee shop for two months now, always the same solemn expression on his face. He’s always lost in thought, like there’s a million things going on in his mind. Whenever he comes in, I want to ask him what he’s thinking. What have caused him to have those haunted eyes so full of unspoken emotions. But I never do.

Today his pattern changes. He comes in, gives me that slight smile as he places his order and waits patiently for it go get done, but instead of going, he sits down in the corner. He’s always so quick to leave again, like he doesn’t want anyone to see him, yet today he sits there by the window, looking out.

He looks lost somehow, like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Like life hasn’t exactly treated him kindly either. He looks… almost like me. I know I should leave him alone, but I wonder if a small act of kindness from a stranger could lift that veil of sadness. If maybe I could make him smile. I bet he has a beautiful smile.

Damn. I’m doing it again. I should have learned by now not to fall so easily. Cursing under my breath, I try to work and not look at him, which proves hard. He is just so beautiful. Those expressive hazel eyes, his plump lips encircled by that full beard and the tattoos on his arms. And he probably has a nice body under that shirt, considering how it clings to- No… I got to stop this. This is the kind of thinking that always gets me in trouble.

As he gets up from his seat, I already start looking forward to the next time he comes in. Maybe he’ll stay again the next time? Maybe even stay a little longer, so I could conjure up some courage to talk to him? But to my surprise, he doesn’t walk to the door, but comes back to the counter.

“I-” He starts but stops again. His eyes find mine and I feel my heart skip a beat, like it always does when he looks at me. “I’ve been trying to get the courage to ask you out for over a month now.”

The small smile grows into a nervous one, but all I can think is what this man has to be nervous about. Surely, he must know I’d say yes in a heartbeat. Which was almost exactly what I blurt out. Thankfully it makes him smile wider and I was right. A very beautiful smile indeed. ´

“Fine, then. Tomorrow at 8.” He says with a smile and for the first time, it reaches his eyes. The small wrinkles and the shine in his hazel orbs make it impossible not to smile too.

“Tomorrow.” I confirm with a giggle, barely able to speak without stumbling over my words. On his way out he turns to me, giving me a little wave with the smile still adorning his beautiful face. Once he is out the door, it takes several minutes before my breathing is back to normal and my heart is done making backflips.

I have a date. A date with Michael. And in that moment, I don’t even care if he turns out like the others and leaves me broken. But something tells me he isn’t like the others. That this time it will be different, because… We have to keep hoping, right?

Maybe I could fall again… Just a little bit?

Tagging: @mindidjarin @itwasthereaminuteago @idrinkcoffeeandobsess @mattmurdocksscars @theradioactivespidergwen @chvoswxtch @pedrito-friskito @yarrystyleeza @murdock-and-the-sea @saintmurd0ck @boliv-jenta

[justcourttee]

Dandelions-Prologue

A/N oh hey. it's been a while. care for a Dickinette AU?

Love at first sight always sounded so absurd to me.

An instant connection to someone you just met? The idea is so foolish that it sounds like some excuse a hopeless romantic made up to explain why they’ve never gone on a date before.

‘I just didn’t feel the sparks, you know?’

I, in fact, did not know. Nor did I bother to try and understand it. Love is fickle, the lines so blurry, so thin, that you never know where you’ll land until it’s too late to change your mind, much less your heart.

And while I couldn’t appreciate the concept when applied to relationships in reality, relationships in fiction were a whole other story. Watching two characters reach for the same piece of paper, eyes connecting while the rest of the world fades into the background, only leaving a longing to get to know this person right in front of them? It was something that never got old no matter how much time passed.

Rom-Coms, Shojo Manga, Soulmate AUs, Jane Austin.

From screen to paper, I’m obsessed, so much so that I began to write my own stories. But there’s one thing that’s been holding me back; I’ve never been in love.

Now I know how this sounds. Everyone tries to tell you that it’s not possible to never experience love, that there has to have been some unreachable crush, some first love, some friend that you loved much more than life itself, but I’m sorry to report that none of the above are true. Of course, I care for my brother and my best friends, but loving your friends doesn’t translate to the life-altering, reality-shattering love I want to write about.

I left college years ago, as the ever demanding job field insisted I needed higher education, I opted out for a couple of side jobs, using my free moments to sit in coffee shops and parks, anywhere I could watch love blossom and write down inspiration.

That’s how I met him. Dick Grayson.

Brew-tiful Day is one of my favorite spots to observe. The slightly overpriced coffee, the bumbling crowd of office workers, students, and hopeless romantics, the simple ambiance of it all just made for the perfect spot to write.

I was settling into my usual spot, my laptop booting up when the couch dipped so violently that I almost sent my fresh brew onto the three-day-old shirt I had dug out from the corner of my room. Scrambling to set down my cup, the weight beside me seemed to settle out, almost as if the person was trying to melt into the cushions.

The funny thing about watching romance movies play out is that when two characters unexpectedly sit on the same couch in the same coffee shop at the same time, I melt. When it happens in reality, I feel an intense sensation of existential dread.

The boy beside me must not share the sentiment, because as I go to move, trying to avoid any eye contact that may happen, he lets out the largest sigh humanely possible, so large that the pair of businessmen sitting nearby have resorted to glaring at us. Not him, Us. That’s all it takes for me to find my weight shifting back into the couch cushion. I can feel my brain scrambling at the speed of the words threatening to fall out of my mouth, unable to know where to go from here but desperate to fill the silence between us.

“What’s wrong?” It takes everything I have not to slap my hand over my own mouth. Word vomit. Usually, it’s only an impulsive thought that sits on the tip of my tongue, but not today.

His head lolls over in a manner that reminds me of a cat waking after a long nap, slow and lazy. He doesn’t appear to be appalled that I have spoken to him, but he doesn’t seem eager to spill it all either. If this was a movie-

I can feel the heat radiating off of my cheeks in waves. I just tried to drag this stranger into the rabbit hole of my obsession with love. The embarrassment of trying to recreate the moment that flashed through my head of two main characters having their first interaction together is crushing. For some reason, I feel the need to apologize and quickly.

“I’m sorry-”

“I’m in love with the woman I’m betrothed to.” His body remains frozen, his head still lolled in my direction, his arms still folded over his stomach, but one feature has become distinctly different. His lips have now moved only to find themselves pulled into a thin line that looks borderline painful.

The silence that followed was deafening. His eyes shifted over my face before fixing, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine. Unsettlingly deep blue seemed to stare past where my eyes were on my face, almost like they were looking for something that wasn’t present on the surface.

With a shaky breath, I can feel the words desperate to fill the space and reluctantly I let them.

“Is that a bad thing?”

Typically, this kind of meddling would be unheard of for me. When I go to Brew-tiful Day, it’s to sip mediocre coffee and observe. If someone were to even sit too close to me, I immediately would abandon ship in favor of a new seat or a new coffee shop altogether. Looking back on this day, if someone were to ask me to put into words how I was feeling, sharing a couch with this listless boy with unsettling eyes I don’t think a word existed for it in the English language.

All I knew was that I was inexplicably invested in any and everything he would be willing to tell me. Any and every look he would give me. Any and every sentiment that might follow.

He hums softly as if contemplating my question, but eventually decides it doesn't warrant an answer. Instead, he asks a question of his own, “What’s your name?”

“Marinette. And yours?”

“Dick. Dick Grayson.”

Dick never gave me an explanation. Instead, I watched as he slowly sat up, his spine unfurling one vertebra at a time, feeling as if the world was holding its breath for what came next.

“Marinette is such a long name. Can I call you Mari instead?”

[affinitystoryblog]

so these questions were initially an ask but i accidentally published the ask before i was done answering. luckily i had copied what i had written before i deleted the incomplete answer, but here is the answers! i do not remember what the last one was, so unfortunately i can only give u these ones.

--------------

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Sinie

SO ACTUALLY there is a major story event that takes place late book 1 that changes sinie's character for a while. book 2 sinie is not going to be the same as book 1 sinie....i cant say what the event is because i think its too much of a spoiler. but sinie fuckin loses it. goes dark. corrupted by her own emotions. itll be the lowest anyone has ever seen sinie. the event, and her actions resulting from how it affects her, will change her forever.

Csilla

this one is a little harder for me to answer, because i havent thought of something like this for csilla like i have for sinie. csilla is...a little stronger than sinie tbh. she can handle darker emotions easier, given that she's been an outcast and lonely most of her life. she isnt sheltered necessarily, just kept on a tight leash. she feels her mother doesn't love her, she adores her father but he's often times too busy to make any actual time for her so he overcompensates by spoiling her in any way he can, and her and her brother have an estranged resentment for each other.

the one that really brings out the best in her is everett. sure, everett is kinda just doing as programmed and trying to woo csilla, but damn does she fall for it. she's a hopeless romantic, and everett is everything she could've ever wanted in someone. he makes her laugh, hes attractive, he gives her attention, comforts her, they have a lot of similar interests, he is always taking her out to do new things she never dreamed of doing trapped by the shackles of her parents expectations. he makes her feel free. so tbh, i actually think a perfect scenario for this would be everett's betrayal. (idc about spoiling this since i mean itll be obvious its gonna come out once i start the arc) i mean, idk if i would rly call it much of a betrayal, more of a reveal that he was a spy but lbr, he's gonna continue doing what mommy (agitha) says until his heart finally tells him to do whats right. (i have a feeling that everett will be on their side before agitha, but i havent fully figured it out yet...) so there'd be a bit of time where everett's heart is in limbo and csilla would be sitting in her room rotting away bella twilight style until it was all resolved.

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

Sinie

again, the big story event that sinie goes through at the end of book 1 will cover all of this. she's definitely gonna marinate in her negative emotions for a while, coping very very badly. she cuts her hair off. not a spoiler u guys have seen short haired sinie tons of times if ur familiar with this blog. i just decided tho...i think i want her to go full throttle and shave it all off. i think she'd eat.

Csilla

see, i love asks like this because i dont normally think of stuff like this for csilla like i do sinie because im used to sinie being the protagonist like she was in beta affinity, but i need to treat csilla with that same respect cause she's equally the protagonist. theyre both the main character because u cant have this story without one or the other. and this stuff makes me think for csilla.

so anyway, i dont know how to answer this question off the top of my head, SO lets psychoanalyze csilla!

she's shy and introverted, but she's also still a nerd; she likes art and music, dance, videogames even though she doesnt play much herself, anime and cartoons (sinie does end up getting her into "kiri kyu-kyu-cute!!") but she also kind of doesnt know how to have friends. she was outcasted for being the weird witchy kid growing up in a bougie all girls private school, and we ALL know how hardcore middle school girls bully. i havent fully thought of how all of csilla's history with bullying went, but it definitely affected her to grow up alone and isolated.

she probably would feel guilty for liking witchcraft and being interested in magic, it being ingrained in her head that its weird and creepy and dangerous. and running with that, she would probably feel like an absolute freak for being a magical girl. ive kind of already depicted csilla calling magic freaky and she is shown to be scared of it.

(shown in chapter 1)

(and then a couple times in chapter 2)

csilla is the one who insists they keep their magical identities a secret, partly because i personally dont want too much of the world suddenly being exposed to magic rn, (hence miko, who takes them to a place they can be destructive) but also because csilla is embarrassed. notice how she calls it "wacky". she does admit it was awesome, but thats really mostly sinie's influence. csilla does still love wacky things, she was just abused into feeling guilt about liking these things. she can be more free with sinie who is OPENLY expressive about her love for magic and their newfound powers.

so i definitely think csilla should go through an identity crisis of some sort, battling her feelings of feeling like a total freak and then feeling like she has a purpose. csilla is a little more logical when it comes to magic, its not supposed to be real. no one would believe them anyway and she's terrified of being considered the freak in a place where she can start over.

i think playing with this idea early on is better, so ill go through and edit some chapters and then keep the theme in mind for future chapters for consistency :)

oc ask meme

[princess-dirt]

Long Rant, please ignore... or don't

Growing up, my mom would tell me how handsome I was, how I'd have to be careful with girls because of how many I'd have to deal with. She told me this as early as elementary school.

Of course, she couldn't have been more wrong. I grew up with undiagnosed adhd and likely autism. I had social anxiety and horrible self-image issues. I never cared how I looked, but hated how I looked. I was socially awkward and could barely talk to girls. That's to say very few girls ever approached me.

I was thinking about this, and only now have I really connected the dots. The patriarchy and heteromormativity of the world fucking sucks. Like I grew up and every good thing about my appearance that my mom would say never materialized. No wonder I suffer so bad from self-image issues. I had my mom pushing it down my throat that I should have a girlfriend, but also to be careful of girls, but also that they'd be all over me, but also that I have to make the first move since I was a guy.

I think the worst part about all of this is that when I was in high school, the lack of any romantic relationship really fucked with me mentally. I already had a pretty shit childhood, so it was frosting on the cake. It got so bad I fell down the alt-right pipeline and was a few months away from becoming an incel.

But I watched MLP. This show was the first time I was ever really taught empathy, and it changed my life. Fast forward senior year, and I've been experimenting with how I look. I have alt and queer friends, I'm learning about myself.

I spill my heart out to my mom about everything and how trapped and hopeless I felt about relationships. Like 20 minutes she listened to me. I was crying and desperate for any bit of advice from my parent.

"So are you gay?" My mom asks sounding almost annoyed.

Which leads to me begging her to listen to me and to take what I am saying seriously.

"Well, how do you think I feel?" She says now sounding angry.

This same conversation happens a half dozen more times. Each time I become more desperate for any hint my mom cares at all.

"You just need to approach them and be nice."

"You should try harder."

"Are you calling me a bad mother?"

"I didn't raise you this way!"

Now, both of my parents are brainrotted by Fox News. My dad is mentally ill while being the most toxic man ever, never being emotionally available for me ever. My mom still thinks I just need to try harder and that girls will just throw themselves at me. Her state of delusion is horrifying tbh.

It sucks because they will both die never having known their son. They'll die never knowing I use he/they, never knowing I'm pansexual, never knowing I crossdress, never knowing I cosplay, never knowing me, the pansexual nuero divergent femboy. And I don't feel bad over it.

I know my story about this kind of shit is way more common that I'd like. I've seen tik toks with very similar events I've mentioned with 100s of 1000s of likes and comments.

To think a generational gap could have such destructive consequences. My only solace for this is that I was able to overcome their horrible parenting.

It seems to me that as each day passes, the only way I'll remember my parents when they are long since dead is the mental scars they've left. I hate it, but I love my parents. They tried their best, but their best failed me and my 3 brothers horribly.

Anyways, back to watching Vampire Dormitory. It's a gay ass anime about some twink and a vampire.

Edit: finished episode one, the Twink was girl. I feel so betrayed.