#then afterwards i had to wait like a year for the holes to heal THEN get it done professionally like a normal fucking human💀💀

[millerflintstone]

Me in my stylish post eye dilation sunglasses but a cartoon version courtesy of PicsArt. It's like part of my glasses are melting.

Today was follow up at the retinal specialist practice. Two weeks ago on Friday, I had my initial consultation. I knew from about 10 years of OptoMap retinal pictures, that I had some small holes in my retinas. The waiting room was filled with people at least 15 years older than me if not more. I'm sure folks who came in after thought I was somebody's designated driver.

The initial visit consisted of a visual acuity check (20/20 with my glasses), eye pressure check, and additional pictures of both retinas. Then the doctor examined me. I mentioned to him that on occasion over the past 3 or 4 weeks, I had seen a black spot off to my right in my peripheral vision of my right eye, but I had not seen it during that past week. That was alarming to him. I could tell by his body language and how his voice slightly changed

As he checked the retinas of both my eyes, he noted both were thin and both were experiencing degeneration. My right eye had a round retinal break without a detachment. He told me I needed laser surgery that day to prevent a retinal detachment.

I was shocked.

I have a fear of anything going into my eyes. I would never consider Lasik surgery because of that. To learn that a focused laser would be going into my right eye freaked me the fuck out. I texted Unfriendly to let him know and he didn't realize I was getting eye surgery that day.

They prepped me for the procedure - retinal laser photocoagulation. I think I got some kind of numbing drops. The machine looked similar to this

He placed a contact lens into my eye to help focus the laser. He let me know that right after I wouldn't be able to see out of that eye for about 15 minutes. He said there might be some discomfort.

What's interesting is reading up on the treatment at various websites for ophthalmologists. Most say no pain to minor pain. Y'all. It felt like there was a headache growing in my eye during the treatment. It got really intense. I don't think I could've blinked with that eye but I kept them both open and I kept REALLY still. The entire time I was yelling inside my head that there was a laser beam in my EYE and motherfucker it hurt, but better that than a retinal detachment and possible blindness.

He said I was doing outstanding during the procedure and afterwards he told me that someone must have been looking out for me because I could've suffered a retinal detachment at any moment. I asked if there was anything I could do to help thicken my retinas and no. That's just my genetic luck.

After about 10 minutes, I peeked with my right eye and I could see. Since both eyes were dilated, things were blurry up close. My eye was throbbing but I could only associate the pain with a bad headache that affects your eyes. I got queasy. I waited in the darkened dilation waiting room until the nausea passed and the pain eased up a bit. Luckily ibuprofen took care of that when I got home.

He was very comforting and very skilled. When I looked him up after the fact, I saw he went to both Harvard medical school and did a fellowship at Columbia.

I'm all healed up today and have to go back in two months for a check up. He did mention that if I ever do suffer a retinal detachment, it will be hairy because my retinas are so thin. Ugh. That's future Marilyn's problem.

[spicyliumang]

Hii! ♥ 8,9, 19 and 24 for the edgy oc ask game? :3

HI TRIXI!! ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝ꕤ*.ﾟ

8. Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

Enya on her own? Definitely not 😭 the guilt would eat her alive SDLALSDFS but if she had an accomplice...with a certain experience of that expertise...maybe🤔 😭

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote that you associate with your OC?

If there's any song that literally screams Enya its

Caitlyn Scarlett - Happy When (Miko Waye Remix)😭 there are a few segments from it that rly suits her 😩

[Verse 1]

Try to keep you, try to wrap you up and set the feelin' For when I really start to need you, you don't belong to anybody So I just wait, try to give you time to want the same things Say you don't believe in soulmates, I know it's real 'cause I feel the hole in me-e-e

[chorus]

I'm just a piece of a two-part puzzle Nothin on my own, only happy when I'm lovin' someone Happy when I'm lovin' someone I'm drinking singles but I see double Lonely but I know I'll be happy when I'm lovin' someone Happy when I'm lovin' someone

19. How does your OC behave when enraged?

Enya normally has really bad outbursts and she tends to have a huge meltdown afterward, the worst was finding out Tendo killed her bio parents 😭💔, In that case, she had to literally be pulled off of him after he got knocked because she was so mad she would have killed him with no hesitation😣 in the past though Sometimes it would consist of throwing small things and screaming in a pillow, but that's when she was much younger and had to live with her stepmom 😭😅 24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Honestly, I do think about that a lot 😭 In Y7 if her parents lived and time went on as usual, she possibly would have encountered the gang in Kamurocho years later, but chances are she would have had an office job or possibly married to a salaryman or even inherited her family's business.. there's no telling how her encounter with the gang would be or even if she'd really be close to them, but I like to think maybe fate would bring them together 😭 and in terms of her being with Zhao, it would really depend, but I rly love the soulmate theory you have and a huge fan of it too😭💙 so it would really depend on whether or not she's married by the time she encounters Zhao or even the state of it (since let's face it, Enya's has a bad boy streak and knows how to pick em 😭) Not to say the guy would be Shoji 2.0... but Enya likes excitement despite her meek personality, so she would always try to seek out someone spontaneous and full of life, an office worker she'd be complacent at first... not to say she has a wandering eye, but chances are she'd break it off if it would be too mundane, or at least if she doesn't feel that... spark

Ishin!Enya is a different story 😭

IF nothing happened to Todo that day or even if she managed to help him just in time for him to be able to recover, with no question she wouldn't leave his side. She would probably nag him if he did anything too strenuous while his wounds are trying to heal because we know he wouldn't sit still for the life of him 😭 he's probably attempting to brush it off and go back to fulfilling his duty, but Enya would care and tend to him once he's better. Ideally, I like the idea of them getting married, but at the same time, I feel them maybe cohabiting for a while would be great at first. Enya knows better than to beg Todo to settle down so she'd be willing to go anywhere he does, as long as he's safe 🥺 this is the good ending at least

THOUGH

IF she never encountered Todo at all and remained living with Shoji, unfortunately, it would be far worse. She'd still have to live under the same circumstances, but soon would officially be bonded to him legally. So there are no more excuses why she can't sleep with him much less avoid him at all. She would eventually bear his children. Even if she didn't want to be a mother she would still care and treat them well, look after them, and teach them the best she could. She would protect them any way she could and would fight back if need be. Eventually, it does become too much and Enya runs away with her children. Maybe she'd have 2 or 3? And she'd raise them alone. I'd like to think she'd be supportive of those in the city who would allow it since she still has a terrible rep because of her dad and naturally the children have the same fate because of Enya "breaking her sacred marriage" with Shoji or something dumb like that, which she would raise them to have thick skin and encourage them. They'd be raised well and would go very far because of that

IF the same fate happens to Todo no matter what and Enya doesn't pass from broken heart syndrome, she'd work at Teredaya as usual. Otose would keep her company and help her with her duties at the inn. On a mundane day though Shoji would reappear and cause a real scene Eventually finding his way to Enya back even against her will because of the arranged marriage. Unfortunately, even poor Otose can't save her. Enya would also find out Shoji was actually in cahoots with Takeda unbeknownst to her and he would not hold back giving every detail of Todo's suffering pretty much tormenting her every way he could. He would make it even harder for her to run off again, letting everyone know to "keep an eye on her" and anyone trying to get too friendly risks their lives in the process, which most people wouldn't do. Enya would still have to bear his children in the end and live under his means. She'd be miserable but would try to put on a brave face for them trying to be a good mom. In order to keep herself grounded, she would plant flowers, much like the ones in her hair and the ones on Todo's kimono. It would be a comfort since her love was snatched away. And it's the only covert way where Shoji won't attempt to destroy or ruin anything of sentimental value, especially if it is something that reminded her of Todo. Since she wasn't able to get Todo's kimono from Teredaya successfully from Otose, she held on to it. hoping one day Enya will be able to break free. That day wouldn't come. For a long time, so it was kept in storage hidden away.

[stormxpadme]

​Whumptober 2022 No. 18 - “Just get it over with.”

2020

"You're beautiful like this, you know."

Usually, when Raven was attacked from out of nowhere outside her city and woke up in some far-off deserted woods, pinned to the frozen bark of some broad tree with razor-sharp blades through both her shoulders? She would have expected the person responsible to turn out either a certain Westchester resident or one of the millions of humans she'd managed to piss off in her lifetime. Opening her eyes with a pained groan, only to lay eyes at no other than her own flesh and blood – that was a new low even for this already shitty decade. Her first instincts to pull what looked like actual, swear-to-God rapiers from her body, morph the worst of bleedings close and bash the asshole's face in was all stopped short the moment she felt the broad metal band around her neck, saw a lazy red blink on it from the corner of her eye, along with this disgusting white color of her slave shape, the blonde, short curls of which were blowing around her face in that same cutting winter storm that had her tremble against the painful restraints in spite of her thick coat. Inhibitor. Where the fuck had this guy who'd hardly been able to keep himself alive on his own when they'd last met and fled from all drama of mutant world first chance he'd got, a fucking inhibitor? This … got weirder by the second. "What …?"

  "Of course, you're beautiful when you're blue, too." Kurt didn't even let her speak, not in the mood to listen to any of her – in this condition admittedly pretty weak attempts at – manipulations this time. He wrapped his tail a little tighter around himself at where he was watching her, perched on the branch of some pine tree opposite her, a mirthless grin revealing his pointed teeth. "You ever think how unfair it is that He gave you so much perfection both as a human and as a mutant? And yet you chose to be such a soulless bitch inside."

  “Just get it over with.” Raven had no idea what had happened to that guy or why he thought he had to come to piss her off after all these decades, but she found herself increasingly disinterested. Let him come close enough for her to wrap her legs around his thin neck and break it clean, sure. Afterward, she could look for the key for that damn collar in his clothes or just wait for one of her people to track her down out here. Judging by her, safe for her wounds, still comparably stable condition, she didn't think more than a few hours had passed, the sun just beginning to set behind these woods so far from any civilization. They'd come to find her if she wasn't in by nightfall. She wasn't about to spend that time with moral lectures on top of a week's worth of an annoying healing. "Come on, Wagner, save us both some time. I'm sure you have another one of these ridiculous little butter knives somewhere under that coat. Little late in the year for the Halloween pirate look, by the way."

  "I didn’t come to kill you."

  "Could have fooled me." Raven nodded down on those holes in her shoulders and winced a little because that movement definitely wasn't a good idea right now. Oh, she would rip that bastard open the moment he got close enough.

  He probably knew that, because he didn't make a single move to approach her, just crossed his legs on that branch in a little balance act reminding her of those tricks she'd seen him do back then when she'd come to watch him from afar in his circus a couple of times. "You should work on your charm. Then people wouldn't have to choose such drastic measures to get you to listen."

  "Three lovers and two girlfriends say, I'm charming enough," she retorted, just to see him wince but had to suppress one of her own then because in spite of her body being half numb with coldness, those spots that kept on spreading rusty red all over her expensive clothes were really starting to burn and throb now. Keeping her focus became harder by the second, with the blood loss starting to attack her strength reserves. Maybe she needed at least to try and be nice long enough to Jack Sparrow-guy to be sure she could indeed get out of here in time. "So do people who drop by my home and ask. You know, nicely."

  "We're done with nice," Kurt said as if the whole running her through with swords and kidnapping her hadn't been enough of a hint. "Were, ever since you tossed me in a river as a baby to safe your skin, if you need to know."

  Huh. Well, someone had run into a couple of people who apparently were dying for Raven to cut their damn tongues out. "What, you want an apology? Have you met me?"

  "You lied to me." His eyes were flashing a bright yellow of deep hurt and anger, a snarl escaping his lips as if that was seriously the worst thing he could have come to blame her for here. Thinking about it, about him and how she'd got to know the kid, it probably was.

  She let out a harsh laugh, breathing through the pain raging through her arms once more when her chest was heaving. "I lie to everyone. Why should you be so special?"

  "Because I'm your fucking son?!" When Raven only raised a bored, biding brow at him, Kurt rolled his eyes and finally jumped from his high ground. "Or how about that: Without me, you would have no idea about what's coming until your city is razed to the ground."

  Now they were talking. The startled rush of adrenaline even chased away that disgusting weakness of agony from her mind instantly. Raven didn't think Kurt was trying to bullshit her, mostly because doubted the kid was actually physically able to. And that meant she had to get back home even faster now and raise up all defenses, no matter if it was someone in Westchester throwing a hissy fit over the Brotherhood's existence once more, the government changing their mind about their immunity or possibly Frost having escaped her cryo prism. None of those any option that would make her day any better. Thinking about it, having another highly skilled helper by her side in such an unpleasant situation might actually be welcome for once, no matter how much they hated each other's guts. "If you care about that place so much, you could have come by earlier."

  "And lead my pursuer right to your city, after all that you went through to hide it from the public? Don’t think so. Not that I could give a shit about you and your bunch of murdering perverts there getting your asses kicked but there are children and thousands of innocents there."

  Well, or maybe not. Cooperation with someone who was apparently still hung up over one little misstep against one of Kurt's old friends with the X-Men, an ugly crime of someone who'd not even been part of Raven's team anymore at that point? Not worth the headache. "We can defend ourselves. No matter against whom."

  "Even against Azazel?" Kurt nodded grimly when Mystique's eyes went wide and she gasped, her first instinct to try and free herself from these blades before another, far more capable attack from behind could possibly happen, immediately resurfacing.

  She forced herself to keep still just to not give Kurt the satisfaction, trying to get her racing thoughts under control. Damnit, and here she'd been certain she'd heard the last of that issue. "So you know. He found you?"

  Kurt grimaced with even more disgust than he was harboring for her which was an achievement all by itself, she guessed, and leaned back against the tree he'd been sitting on, wisely still keeping away. "Something like that. Wasn’t particularly looking for me but every one that his rotten seed produced in the last few decades. He wants to use all his spawns to conquer the world."

  Well, about time. The last apocalypse had gone down almost two years ago. Maybe not a bad moment to look into these mutant space stations that a couple of people Raven hated with all her heart but could suck up to if she really needed to, were building right now. "How’s that my problem?"

  Kurt took an exaggerated look north. "Anyone else in your city who fucked a demon lately?"

  "Again, you're in the wrong place if you're looking for an apology, kid." Now that she knew what she had to prepare for, Mystique's patience with the conversation was growing even thinner.

  "How about atonement for once then? I could point you to the right office." Kurt demonstratively played with the small silver cross he was wearing around his neck. "Works even when you're not asking, by the way. If you get your shit together for once and use your powers for something useful. Like preventing father from killing off every one among our kind not worthy in his eyes. Everyone who can blend in, everyone without marks and features. Those, he'll weed out first before he'll enslave humanity and kill everyone in his way."

  "Still not my problem, as long as I got no people around me insisting on robbing me of my powers." Raven squinted at this hated human shape of hers again.

  "About 80 % of your city's population won't be so lucky," Kurt reminded her just a tad too quietly, his demonstrative harshness and indifference to her own starting to wane. Try as he might, he couldn't hide that somewhere in that damn bleeding heart of his, he was still trying to see her as something she was not, no matter how often he got disappointed. It was almost charming. "You're gonna rule Morlocks next for a lack of option?"

  "I won't have to. He's not strong enough. The number of his people is far too small, always was." Raven put it on her less than ideal condition that the too fast, too shrill tone in her voice sounded a lot like she was trying to convince herself mostly, something that had never worked out since she'd left this period of her life behind if she was being honest with herself for once.

  "Stop bluffing." That unbelievably sad smile on Kurt's lips did nothing to soothe that slightly unsettling clench of her guts at every attempt of consideration as to how to fend off this new catastrophe and far too many of those calculations ending with quite an unsatisfying number indeed. Yeah, definitely not a bad time to invest in plans for a space shuttle. "Or have you never met his army in person? Were you too busy getting his clothes off him back then to actually care what and who he …?" He paused his new series of insults, his eyes widening when he saw something in hers he hadn't expected. Something she'd rather have liked to keep buried in the suppressed depths of her subconsciousness herself, firmly convinced that she'd never have to deal with it again as long as she kept her distance from the underworld. "No, that's not it at all, is it? You've been there. He brought you and you couldn't deal with it. That's why you never went back to him though he could have given you so much more power than Magneto was ever capable of. You're afraid because his power set and all of his followers' are perfectly crafted to beat yours."

  "Unlike Erik, I always had a pretty realistic estimation of things that are bigger than me," Raven admitted reluctantly because if Azazel got his hands on him, Kurt would have learned certain details anyway. "Why do you think I gave up New York? What I'm doing up here?"

  "Hiding." It wasn't anywhere near to a reproach and certainly not the mocking that others would have spat that depressing word out with. Being in alliance with certain arch-enemies of hers, Raven doubted it had bothered Kurt a lot when the Brotherhood had significantly scaled down their former global aims regarding their rule. He'd always had that unnerving habit of trying to keep her safe, even now when he'd come to annoy her a bit by cutting through easily mended muscle tissue and warn her about the probably deadliest threat in her life since that damn firebird had last decided to stop by at Milky Way. "You knew he'd come once we were rid of Phoenix for good. She was the one obstacle he couldn't get by. You're not one. Not alone. So you walled yourself in and closed your eyes."

  "Bold of someone to say who went under for 20 years." She couldn't help but actually smile for a moment. Probably the tiredness and increasing heaviness in her body and mind. Fuck, she needed to get out of here.

  A slight velvet tint to Kurt's surprisingly smooth skin revealed Raven had actually landed a hit for once, all without reaching for a gun or a blade on her own. "I needed to be alone after the Inferno. Little spiritual crisis, I guess."

  "Never could have guessed," she remarked with another look at that stupid 18th-century coat and the outlines of more daggers she could make out under it. "That’s why you ditched the tattoos, too? You look surprisingly fresh for a 50-year-old, by the way."

  "Not doing so badly for pushing hundred yourself." He managed a friendlier grin this time and finally brought himself to approach, albeit still too far from her to get her legs on him … And maybe the need for that had vanished anyway. "I got half his blood, and you regenerate. I don't think either of us will be granted the release of long sleep soon. And as for those …" He absently ran his fingertips over his cheek where those ridiculous marks had used to be. "Turns out, having spiritual crises includes a lot of sin. Ran out of skin, and the first ones faded, so I didn't really see a point in renewing. Besides …" He pulled down the collar of his trenchcoat and shirt for a moment, revealing a lot more hair on his chest than was normal. "Yeah, that's a thing that started to happen since I spent time in his dimension to find out what he's up to. It's spreading. My body is not done yet with combining your guys' powers into weird things."

  "You're the beautiful one," Raven said honestly because apparently she was already running a fever from infections and she tended to get chatty when she was compromised but also, it was simply true.

  She'd fucked up more often in her life than she allowed herself to admit, but deciding to leave this seed of her own to develop in its own way hadn't been one of her mistakes. Now that he was no longer hiding behind some made-up morals …

  Maybe there was hope for this worst-case scenario regarding Azazel that she'd feared for so long after all. And if not, she could still buy that ticket to the next best inhabitable spot outside this galaxy. "And stronger than he is because you have purpose and a compass instead of just hunger. I appreciate the warning, kid, but somehow, I'm not worried we'll be in trouble once you're through with whatever crusade you're planning. If you still want to call it that after ditching that whole priest cosplay, of course."

  "I don't need a white collar to have faith or do the right thing." Kurt unexpectedly teleported himself right in front of her and ripped both his weapons out of her body, too fast to even think about reacting or trying to defend herself when she didn't need to, because he caught her before she could even fall, her senses failing her for a moment. When she came about to fully again, he'd got her halfway out of her coat and was busy, wrapping firm bandages he'd cut from his shirt around her shoulders because of course he would.

  "You realize that's brave of you, trusting me not to kill you after you just made holes in me, right?" she murmured over her shoulder, without even half the energy she'd have needed to actually try and stab someone through the chest with one of her one weapons who could vanish in the blink of an eye anyway. In fact, before she could even move an arm that was hurting far too much to even think about that right now. No need for that as long as she wasn't threatened again. Not to mention, fileting a potential new ally would have been exceptionally stupid. Or maybe all these explanations were really just boiling down to the one big excuse that she didn't want the boy dead.

  "You can't," Kurt stated with the same faith he had in his God for some reason, and annoyingly enough, she thought he might be right. "Same the other way round. I came to warn you and I did. The rest is up to you. If you really think you'll be safe from him in your little ice fortress forever after you tried to kill his first heir right after birth, no one can help you."

  "Is that what you want? Help? For us to work together?" Maybe recruiting a new partner wouldn't be half as difficult as expected.

  "It's what I always wanted. But I'm not selling my soul for it and I'm not forcing anyone." The last knot into place he got up quicker than she could, not entirely happy obviously to trust her all the way yet, which was healthier for him, too. "Keep north. One of your peoples' sleds is nearby already."

  "Where are you going?" That goodbye suddenly came a lot faster than expected.

  Kurt snorted and wrapped himself in his own trench coat again. "Since when do you care?"

  "I don’t." It was a lie so blatantly transparent, it was almost shameful. "But if you’re right and he comes to find me before you can take him out, he becomes our problem. I need a way to let you know."

  "I’ll get a mobile and mail you my number." He silently grinned to himself, and she somehow had a funny feeling he knew exactly, she wasn't just aiming for a reluctant one-time mission here. But after she'd ignored and made him wait for all his life, it was probably just fair for him to turn the tables on her now.

  Didn't mean she'd make that easy for him. "Settle down," she interrupted him once again when he already raised his hand in a brief gesture of goodbye.

  "Where?" His expression suddenly seemed very tired, very hopeless. "Do you not know he leeches on to his heirs? I can only 'port with at least one blade out in the open lest he could always be there in his Dimension to hop onto my back when I pass by. I can't risk taking him to anyone I create bonds with."

  "Then go somewhere where he gets his ass kicked when he does. Where they can protect you." Yes. Definitely the fever talking. Raven leaned her head back against the tree she'd just been pinned to with a groan about her own sentimentalities. If she'd had the choice, she'd taken the boy somewhere else entirely but there were some things that even her city with all the powers residing within couldn't protect itself and others from.

  "That's not what I do. I'm a shepherd." He crossed his arms stubbornly again but couldn't hide that faint longing in his voice completely. 20 years of running were too long.

  "A shepherd. Right." Raven had to try hard not to use her knife on the guy, after all, just to cut that stupid cross off him. "You're haunted by literal demons and still think, Catholics got the right version of the story?"

  "I don't." For a moment he was that lost, stumbling boy again that Xavier had taken in back then to turn him into one of his idealistic bootlickers, staring at a sky where at most, death in the shape of hostile foreigners and crazy alien bitches were waiting but surely no protection, his mind, focus, and defenses wide open. He might have got a shiny new look and learned how to fence and curse, but that guy definitely still needed a lot of training. "But their version is based on the right principles. And it's comforting."

  Mystique would have given a lot for a couple of painkiller injections right now so she could at least move again without feeling like blacking out, for something as simple as approaching that suddenly very young-looking figure, do as much as put a hand on his shoulder. With the blood loss not anywhere near repaired yet, the cell reconstruction arduous and slow, a hot bath with healing herbs and a couple of good duels in the arena to watch was exactly what she could use to clear her mind of all weakness tonight. But first, she needed to make sure, Kurt would start actually getting ready for what would probably soon befall both of them. "If you want to serve some God, become what you think he's made you into once you learned the world isn't half as kind as you. A warrior for your cause."

  He refused fiercely but it looked more and more stubborn and less convinced. "I can't risk that as long as I have a tail that's not half as awesome as mine."

  "There's a place where that doesn't matter. They got what I can't provide you with. Telepaths. They can shield your mind so it's safe from his tracking spells. Might even make sure you can 'port again without watching your back, with time. And then you're more than welcome with us."

  Kurt's grin was growing again with every of Raven's most reluctant words, every of her shudders just at the thought that she might be ending up having to call Summers' condescending ass regularly from now on to make sure no one was fucking with her kid. "Are you seriously sending me to your sworn enemies?"

  "I'm doing what I should have when you were born," she gave back through gritted teeth. "Making sure you got a home. And a place where I can send an Uber to when I got a demon knocking on my door."

  "I think I’ll stick to 'porting." He straightened himself again and nodded towards her with something that looked at least like a basic amount of respect, getting ready to leave once more.

  "Next time you 'port here, do it without a pair of rapiers in my shoulder or you might up with a knife somewhere where it really hurts yourself." A last warning she just still had to give him because one thing Azazel and her shared was their temper. Next time she would know what to look out for in an attack from mid-air.

  "No promises." Kurt showed her all of his teeth, gleefully. "The inhibitor key is frozen in that knothole behind you, by the way. I'm sure you can find a way to melt it."

  "I think I liked priest-you better," Mystique grumbled.

  "Actual demon child, you know." He showed her a perfect little bow, ironic through and through. "That's on you. Could have used contraception."

  Raven flipped him off before he finally vanished, leaving nothing but a faint yellow dust of brimstone, but she did it with a smile.

*******************************************************************************

@whumptober | @whumptober-archive​

[dem-obscure-imagines]

The Kiss of Life

Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Summary: You are an Avenger with the power to heal. However, you didn’t expect to catch feelings for the man you brought back from the dead.

Note: Let it be known that my very first ever Tumblr fanfiction, waaaaaay back in 2015, was a Pietro Maximoff fic about a healer! Reader bringing him back to life. I was obsessed with this man. Still am, lowkey. So, this fic is just kind of me revisiting that idea with about six more years of writing experience.

Warnings: Mentions of death, death (temporary), bulletwounds

Wordcount: 2.7k

On the day of the Battle of Sokovia, you were on board the Helicarrier. Tony Stark had contacted you, knowing the shit would hit the fan, and then Nick Fury had found you and picked you up. As the team’s resident healer, you didn’t actively go out in the field, but you were always on stand-by just in case. And this was one of the days you were glad you were.

You’d taken one of the “boats” to the quickly rising chunk of the city in order to heal civilians. You encountered a young woman who had her leg caught under a piece of rubble. But super-strength wasn’t one of your abilities. Luckily, a certain silver-haired speedster saw you and rushed over to help. You healed the woman and she quickly went over to the boats to be evacuated.

“Are you…” the man asked, looking you over. “You’re with…?”

“The Avengers, yeah.” You nodded. “Are you?”

“I’m new.” He grinned. “I’m Pietro. Nice to meet you.”

“(Y/N).” You offered your hand and instead of shaking your hand like you expected him to, he raised it to his lips and pressed a soft kiss there. You tried to ignore the heat rising to your cheeks. You couldn’t deny he was handsome, and his accent and gorgeous muscles only helped his case.

“Oh shit, your arm.” You pointed out the wound there.

“I was shot.” He nodded, his jaw clenching. “It is not bad, though.”

“Here, let me.” You reached up and held your hand over the bullet hole. Immediately, golden light radiated from your palm and Pietro watched in awe as the spot repaired, his skin closing up underneath the hole in his shirt. “There. Good as new.”

“Thanks. Remind me to find you the next time I get a paper cut.”

You chuckled. “I’m always around.”

The two of you split after that. You went off to help more civilians evacuate and he busied himself with fighting robots.

And then it happened. You were on your way to the boats to help people. You heard the loud noise of a machine gun, and when you looked up, Pietro was standing there, riddled with bullet holes, wobbling on his feet before inevitably collapsing.

You sprinted. You didn’t care about the risks or the danger, you ran as fast as you could to him, falling to your knees at his side and immediately pushing every ounce of power you could muster into his chest, arms, and legs. You felt like your veins were on fire and you couldn’t describe why, but you knew that this was why you were there. This was your purpose and you intended to fulfill it.

You watched as his wounds stitched together. You searched him for more. Anything you could do to make him better.

His eyes were open, unblinking, wide and haunting. His skin was cold to the touch. You knew what you had to do, but you didn’t know if you had the strength to do it after expending your powers all day.

“Can you do it?” Clint asked softly, watching.

“I think so.” You murmured. “I’m gonna try.”

The Kiss of Life, as Tony had dubbed it, was something you had only done once. It had absolutely drained you. You’d been asleep for a few days following it, but it was worth it. It was always worth it.

So, slowly, you leaned in and pressed your lips to Pietro’s pushing everything you had left into his body, from your chest to his. You reached up and felt for a pulse, waiting, waiting, waiting, until suddenly, you felt his vein twitch beneath your fingertips. You felt his chest heave with a breath and immediately released, exhaling a large breath of your own.

He looked up at you, confusion and warmth swirled in his eyes. He stared at you for a long moment, a hand rising to his lips, as if he was looking for confirmation of what you’d just done. He looked down at himself, searching for the dozens of wounds he’d just acquired, but not finding any.

Your head was spinning. You blinked a few times, watching him carefully. He sat up and as soon as he did, you slumped forward into his firm chest, your eyes fluttering shut. The last thing you felt before falling asleep were his strong arms wrapping around you and his soft lips pressing against your forehead.

“Thank you.”

***

You woke up with a pounding headache in an…unfamiliar place. You didn’t recognize the room you were in, but it appeared your things were there, from what you could tell. Oh, and there was a man sitting in a chair pulled up to your bedside, a nervous look on his face. His finger rested on his lip, deep in thought.

You moved, straining to sit up but your entire body was sore, your limbs each screaming for you to stop.

“Hey, hey, careful.” He moved at lightning speed, catching you off guard. He gently moved you into an upright position, resting against the mountain of pillows on your bed. “Easy.” He smoothed the hair off of your forehead and leaned forward to kiss it, long and soft. “You do not feel like you have a fever…”

“I think I’m okay.” You insisted, shaking your head. Your voice was hoarse. You coughed a few times, but half a second later, Pietro was holding a cold water bottle in your face, helping you drink it with careful hands and a doting expression on his face.

“Banner left these for you.” He handed you a bottle of painkillers and you took a few of them, swallowing them down with more water.

“Thank you.”

He didn’t say anything, but you knew he was thinking about it.

Instead, you asked, “How long was I out?”

“A few days.” He replied, his voice soft and low. “I…I was worried…worried that you…”

“Yeah,” you laughed darkly, shrugging. “I…well, some risks are just worth taking, I guess.”

“You barely know me and you saved my life without hesitation.” He said, a million words hiding behind his eyes. He sat on the edge of the bed cautiously, giving you plenty of time to tell him to back off, but you didn’t. “Clint…he said he’s never seen you run so fast.”

“I knew I wouldn’t have much time before…” You shook your head, trailing off. “And I knew I couldn’t let that happen. I got lucky. I was exactly where I needed to be.”

He was quiet for a beat, thinking. And then, all at once, he pulled you into his arms, against his firm chest. You listened to his heartbeat, his breaths, which became ragged as soon as he started sobbing.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. You’re okay. It’s all okay.” You said, your arms wrapping around him, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“Thank you. T-thank you so much. I…I don’t know how to repay you.”

“It’s just my job, Pietro. You don’t have to—”

“I want to, though.” He said, pulling away from you to look you in the eyes. His large hand rose to frame your cheek and you felt a chill run up your spine, heat flooding your cheeks due to his proximity and the look on his face. “Please let me thank you the way you deserve.”

You didn’t know what else to say, so you just nodded, staring up at him. “O-okay.”

“Do you think you can walk? The others want to see you.” He said.

“Um, I can try. I’ll probably be a bit weak.”

“I’ll help you.” He reassured you, helping you remove the blankets on top of you and scoot to the edge of the bed.

You put your feet on the floor, gently easing up until you were upright. You wobbled a little, but Pietro’s arm snaked around your waist for support, helping you forward slowly until you were out the door of your new bedroom.

“Where are we, exactly?”

“New facility.” Pietro explained. “Stark insists it will be safer than the Tower.”

“Gotcha.” You nodded.

He led you out to the main room, where the majority of the team were all sitting on the large sectional couch. As soon as you walked in, aided by Pietro, they all sat at attention. One of them, a young woman wearing a red sweater, stood up and walked up to you quickly, wrapping you in a tight hug.

“Thank you so much. Thank you for saving him.”

“Of course.” You hugged her back. “Us Avengers have to look out for each other. Welcome to the team. You’re Wanda, right?”

“Right. Nice to meet you, officially.” She smiled warmly.

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” You pulled away and as soon as you did, you wobbled a bit, but Pietro immediately held you upright, preventing you from falling.

“Got a new friend there, (L/N)?” Tony chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

“So it seems.” You smiled, letting Pietro help you over to the couch where the others were all situated. “The new place is nice.” You noted. “Very modern. Very sleek.”

“Thought you’d like it.” Tony nodded. “There are still quite a few empty rooms if you want to switch, but, uh…Speedy wanted your room next to his.”

Pietro laughed nervously, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. When you looked over at him, his cheeks were steadily turning red. Cute, you decided.

“Well, I certainly don’t mind.” You grinned. “What are we watching?”

“Disney movies.”

“Hell yesssssss.”

“Told you she’d like it.” Steve chuckled, his arms folded across his broad chest. “How are you feeling, kid?”

“I’m good. Little sore, but good. Should be back to normal in a few days.”

“Glad to hear it.” Steve nodded, smiling.

“Anyone have any papercuts that need healing in the meantime?” You joked.

“Maybe take it easy for now, (L/N).” Natasha chuckled, shaking her head. “Our bruises and papercuts can wait.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

You watched a few movies with the rest of the team, and afterwards, Tony ordered pizza, a very bewildered delivery boy knocking on the door about an hour later. Pietro wouldn’t let you lift a finger, and so once the pizza arrived, he brought you a few slices on a plate with breadsticks and garlic cream cheese dip.

“Thank you, Pietro.”

“Of course.” He grinned, plopping back down in his spot between you and Wanda.

You had only been awake for a handful of hours, and yet you suspected that this constant attention from the silver-haired speedster wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

***

You were right. It was about two weeks later. You’d made a full recovery and were back to your usual level of activity. You were in the training facility doing your daily workout when Pietro sped in. You were on the treadmill, just finishing up, when he strolled over, a grin on his face.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, slowing the treadmill to a stop and leaning against the rails, taking a moment to catch your breath. “May I ask why?”

“One of the interns is making a coffee run.”

“Oh hell yeah.” You took a long sip from your water bottle. “Well, thank you for letting me know.”

“Of course.” He grinned, leaning against your treadmill. “How are you today?”

You smiled, heat flushing your cheeks. You blame it on the workout, but you knew there might be another reason for it… “I’m good, how are you?”

“Good.” He replied. “I’m good.” He paused, holding up his hand, his knuckles red and bloody. “I did hurt my hand, though…”

“Oh, here.” You took his hand in yours and held your other palm over it, letting your power glow for a few seconds until the wound healed up. “There. Good as new.”

He exhaled a breath, clenching and unclenching his hand. With it, he reached up and gently traced your jaw. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against yours, causing a flurry of butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “You’re incredible. So incredible.”

You stared into his blue, blue eyes for what felt like eternities, his warm breaths ghosting across your cheeks. And then the moment was over. He pulled away from you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead.

“Want a ride?”

“To where, the living room?” You laughed. “Sure, why—?” There was a rush of cold air and suddenly, you were in the living room, Pietro cradling you in his arms. “Not.” You looked up at him, tucking a piece of hair back behind your ear. “Wow, you’re fast.”

He grinned and you swore his cheeks got a shade redder than they were previously. “I am, aren’t I?”

You ordered your coffee from the intern and waited for Pietro to order his, but he didn’t.

“Aren’t you getting anything?”

“Oh, I don’t like coffee.” He shrugged, and then winked at you. “But you do, so…”

***

It was a few weeks later. You’d known Pietro for a little over a month at this point. You were in your room, reading. It was getting late and you knew that, but you also didn’t want to go to sleep until you finished the chapter you were on.

You heard a knock on your doorframe and looked up to find Pietro standing there, his hair a tousled mess and dark bags under his eyes.

“Nightmare?”

He nodded.

“Come on in.” You scooted over and patted the side of the bed and immediately, he zipped over. “You okay?”

“Better now.” He said, his voice low and raspy.

You closed your book and set it on your nightstand to give him your full attention.

“Can we talk?” He asked.

“Of course, Pietro. What’s on your mind?”

“I…I don’t even know.” He let out a long breath. “I keep thinking about…that day. And I’m not sure why.”

“Well, it was traumatic. Dying, even briefly, is hard to recover from. Emotionally, that is.”

“Hmm.” He hummed, nodding. “Am I the only one…that you’ve…”

“No. There was one other. Some S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. I don’t even remember her name. It was a long time ago. But those were the only two successful times.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes I’m just…too late. If I don’t get to the body in time…” You shuddered and shook your head. “I got really, really lucky with you, Pietro. If I was any further away, I don’t think…” Your stomach dropped at the thought and you couldn’t continue.

“Don’t think like that.” He said softly, one of his large hands rising to your face. His warmth was incredible, calming.

You leaned into his touch, resting your hand on top of his.

“I’m right here, printsessa.” He leaned in closer. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good.”

“There’s…something else.” He said, his voice wavering. “I don’t think it’s any secret, but, I’ve fallen for you, (Y/N). We are so close and I love it, but the only time we’ve ever kissed was when I was unconscious. I…would like to change that.” He paused, looking deep into your eyes. “But only if that’s okay with you.”

“Oh thank God.” You exhaled a relieved breath, your eyes sparkling and heart racing. “I was worried you were only hanging around me because I saved you. I didn’t think you were into me.”

“How could I not be?” His thumb rubbed your cheek affectionately. “You are kind and clever and selfless and brave, not to mention the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I’d have to be stupid to let you slip through my fingers.”

You were both quiet for a beat before he asked, his voice soft, “So…can I kiss you?”

You leaned in closer until your lips were less than an inch away from his before whispering, “Do you even have to ask?”

Part 2

[todoscript]

SYNOPSIS: Years of memories pouring out, Katsuki and Shouto confront their feelings for you in your very hospital room.

pairing(s): bakugou katsuki x fem!reader, todoroki shouto x fem!reader

genre: angst.

word count: 4.5k+

warnings: really self-indulgent fic, characters are aged-up, implied sexual content, mentions of drinking alcohol, jealousy, reader identifies as female with she/her pronouns, 

author’s note: so i found this pretty old wip i wrote before i made my blog, and after reading it over, i decided hey why not publish it? so i finished it up, did some cleaning, and heres what we got. sorry if it seems kind of shaky, i did my best with what i initially had!

“Bakugou… what are you doing here?”

Shouto enters the room with freshly bought peonies in his hands—one of the many dozen he had brought to this hospital already—his steps coming to a halt at the sight of the Explosion Hero near your hospital bed. Katsuki looks up and narrows his eyes, aggravated by the offender’s question.

“What? You got a fucking problem with me being here?” He keeps his voice low, not wanting to disturb the entire hospital wing, knowingly admitting to how loud he could be. But that doesn’t suppress the bite in his tone.

“Just because you’re her fucking boyfriend doesn’t mean you’re the only one that’s allowed to worry about her,” he nearly spits, and Shouto’s face mirrors Katsuki’s own irked expression.

You have been unconscious for a week now. The cause of this incident was due to your encounter with a dangerous villain who had been wanted by the police for quite some time. Months of evading capture down the drain, the villain had unfortunately ran into you as you patrolled the streets during your nightly shift.

In the end, you won the fight, but at the cost of damage done to your body and overuse of your quirk. As a result, you entered an unconscious state, recovering in this hospital bed to be monitored by medical staff throughout each day. The doctors assured them that you would eventually wake up but will need time to heal on your own through rest.

Ever since the day you’ve been admitted here, Shouto has been visiting your bedside. However, this is the first time Katsuki’s shown up.

Shouto only points a glare to the blond, ignoring him while he sets his bouquet down next to your bed. He notices the already present vase of hydrangeas, surmising that Katsuki must have brought them. He places his bundle of peonies beside them.

The dual-haired man sits on the opposite side of the bed from Katsuki, whose attention is brought back to the girl’s sleeping face, patched with wraps and bandages as a result of your tribulations with the villains.

If I had finished my jobs quicker, I would’ve been able to see you the moment you had to stay in this damn hospital. The thoughts ring in Katsuki’s head, hands clenched into fists out of frustration.

Knowing you had to deal with that whack job of a villain on your own—that your overprotective and valiant nature wouldn’t allow you to let this criminal walk away when you encountered him, and that they weren’t there to prevent you from getting like this—killed both him and Shouto on the inside. They especially hated not knowing when you would wake up or if what the doctors said about you eventually regaining consciousness would even be true.

Shouto takes your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. Katsuki catches him pressing delicate kisses against your lightly bruised knuckles from the corner of his eye, the young man not caring that he was performing these intimate acts in the presence of another man. Shouto especially did this in order to make a solid point:

She’s mine.

Katsuki knew very well how possessive Shouto could be while he was in their presence. And honestly, he couldn’t blame him. If he got to call you his and keep you all to himself, he’d make sure everyone knew they couldn’t have you—that your smile and attention were all his and his alone. But in this case, they weren’t, and all he could settle for were envious emotions and fantasies of what could’ve been.

•

•

•

Bakugou Katsuki’s feelings for you date back to as early as your high school years at U.A.

At first, he wasn’t entirely sure what made these feelings arise. Having his goal of becoming the Number One hero plastered at the forefront of his head made romance and love trivial concepts down his path. Katsuki had no time to be chasing after girls, going on dates, and devoting a chunk of his time to a partner.

However, at one point, things started to change. He felt ripples affect the still waters that were his life, and he noticed that only you could calm this torrent. You were the one person he sought comfort in, the one person that understood who he was and why he acted the way he did. And the one person who mended him physically and mentally without belittling his character or crushing his pride.

Through all of that, Katsuki had begun to appreciate and admire all the little things about you. Like your beaming smile and the twinkle in the lovely hues of your eyes that you’d give him as you two interacted. It was such a welcomed contrast to the fearful looks the other students would have etched on their faces whenever he so much as called out their name.

He always took note of how you adjusted his food to his preferences during times you were assigned to cook that night at the dorms. And how you’d go and try to tend to him after training, when his muscles ached and his bruises were settling into his skin.

At first, Katsuki thought of it as a sign of weakness—to accept help from someone else when at his most vulnerable state. Yet you were persistent.

He recalls a particular memory after a battle during his internship where he was reduced to resting in bed to recover. Not many of his classmates came up to check on him during that time. Mainly because they figured he wouldn’t bother to open his door for them anyway. Though one night, he heard a knock sounding from his door. He glanced up from his bed, already thinking about ignoring the visitor in favor of staying in bed to rest, but a voice spoke beyond the threshold.

“Katsuki? I hope you’re not asleep yet. It’s not much, but I made you a little something to help you get better.” He didn’t reply upon recognizing your voice, hesitating to see what you’d do if he didn’t respond.

There was a pause of silence until you eventually continued. “Well, I’ll leave this in front of your door for you to have… If not, I’ll come back and retrieve it, okay?” That was the last you said before Katsuki picked up a light clank near the bottom of the entrance. Afterward, feet padded lightly down the hallway till they returned to the elevator to descend to the bottom floors, and the blond was by himself once again.

He weighed the option of leaving whatever you left for him untouched, but knowing you made an effort to arrive at his door to check on him caused him to waver. Before he knew it, his feet treaded to the spot to discover a hot plate of curry at his doorstep, followed by a note and painkillers. The plate perched on one of his hands, he opened the letter with the other.

Get better soon! We’ll be waiting for you!

Closing the note, he tossed it on his desk before plopping down on the edge of his bed with the plate of curry in his lap. It steamed and dispersed heat on his sore thighs, piping hot and ready to eat.

He gripped his spoon between his fingers, an irregular grin surfacing his lips. He scooped up the spicy bits of curry, gobbling the dish down to its very last grain of rice until the plate was clean. And in that time, every bite he brought to his mouth made him think of you.

“Dumbass, there’s no way I’m falling behind.” Feeling thoroughly full, he transferred the finished plate to his desk, where he had left the note. Before he had even realized it, he reached out for the paper, glancing over the words one last time. He fished a pen from his drawer and scribed a reply of his own for when you would return for the dirty plate.

Thanks, dumbass. It was good.

•

•

•

The Icy-Hot Hero, Todoroki Shouto, loved you too much to let you go.

You were the girl that shaped him to become the person he is today—who taught him to embrace himself for who he was and not let his past define him and what he stood for. You were the person that brought him out from the dark hole he trapped himself in and cast him into warm light. You’ve stuck together through thick and thin throughout your journey to becoming Pro Heroes, protecting one another and watching each other’s backs. It wasn’t long before he noticed his feelings for you had developed into more complicated emotions. Emotions that made butterflies flutter in his stomach and his face unusually hot whenever he even glanced in your direction. As he began to actively seek you out for comfort and support, he thought of you differently in comparison to all of his other classmates.

Initially, these foreign feelings troubled him. Yet, he could never quite piece together why you could garner such flustered reactions.

Then after consoling these newfound sensations with his close friends and family, he realized that you meant so much more to him than just a classmate, an ally, a colleague. Todoroki Shouto was—is—in love with you.

And the feeling was mutual.

Whether it was the intense looks you two sent as your gazes naturally drifted to each other or how your hands would always brush across soft and calloused knuckles in a silent plea to lace your fingers together, it wasn’t long before he discovered that his feelings for you were reciprocated.

Interestingly, you and Shouto never had to confess anything to each other. Your feelings came almost naturally for you both like you were telepathically linked and on the same wavelength. You came to one another like magnets attracted to their opposite poles, and in just a blink, your lips had met one day, and you took each other’s first kiss.

From then on was the start of many more “firsts.”

Shouto remembers the first time he let you hang out in his dorm room, talking about simple things like school, studying, and internships.

He remembers your first date to a cafe his older sister recommended—the one with flavorful milk teas he knew you’d take a liking to, with bountiful flowers decorating the interior of the tea house.

He remembers inviting you into his home to meet his older siblings, have dinner with them, and letting his family get to know you as his significant other.

He remembers taking you to see his mother at the psychiatric ward his wretched father had admitted her to, finally letting the two most significant women in his life meet and watching as his mother took a relieved liking to the girl he loves.

He remembers the tension that hovered in the air over an argument you two had one day, which was eventually mended through communication and reaffirmations of love.

He remembers embracing you in his bed, devoid of nothing but yourselves in your purest forms, eliciting sweet sounds from your lips that intoxicated him with lust and drove him to desire more and more until he monopolized every crevice of your body—every ounce of your soul—and intended to burn your beautiful, sinful image into his memory.

He remembers so much of the little things and the significant things about your love that he could never, ever hand you over to anyone else. Less of all to Bakugou Katsuki.

•

•

•

Katsuki was one of the first people to notice that they were in a relationship.

At first, it wasn’t obvious. The two made a point to keep their romantic bond a secret among their classmates and teachers not to complicate things and be the subject of teasing. They also considered the fact they needed to focus on their studies and hero training. Kisses and other affectionate touches were done behind closed doors or whenever they knew no eyes could discover them. These sneaky tactics proved to be effective and not many questioned them about relationships, aside from the occasional girls/boys talk they’d do. They’d ask each other things like “who would you date” and “don’t you think ‘so-and-so’ is cute” and many other curious asks. Their answers to these inquiries were inconspicuous enough that most of their friends didn’t suspect much of anything. Except for Katsuki.

Katsuki was never one to pick apart details, not as much as his childhood rival, Deku, anyway. But the more he looked at them, the more he was aware of the particular hints and their subtleties of tenderness. Such as the way the red-and-white-haired boy would perk up at the sound of your name or the chime of your voice from across the dormitory’s common area. Or the way you two would hover around each other more often than you would your classmates as if maximizing the most of your time together in public. Or how you’d go on small study dates together and hold each other’s hand underneath the table in the library, thinking no one would notice.

Perhaps, the most significant indication, however, was the expressions on each of their faces.

Maybe Katsuki had started becoming very hyper-aware, unraveling your mannerisms and making out even the smallest of singularities, but he felt your faces alone were an obvious giveaway.

The looks you gave each other were ones harboring nothing but pure love and adoration. He could discern the glow you exuded simply basking one another’s presence. Those looks weren’t ones you would give to a close friend; they were something more. He would know. That look Shouto gives is the same one Katsuki has for you, after all.

Except, his is never reciprocated.

That pretty smile, the flustered expression across your cheeks, the sparkling hues of your eyes—all those little details were reserved for Shouto, not Katsuki.

It hurt to know that the gaze you give Katsuki wouldn’t ever be the same one you give to Shouto. Katsuki knows this, and yet he still can’t seem to get past you.

The moment he was aware of his feelings—reluctantly fathoming the fact that you were with Shouto—Katsuki did everything in his power to stop these feelings.

No, not just stop. He had to get rid of them. Cut any connection with them. Dealing with an aching heart was too much work and pain for a boy with heavy aspirations to bear. So he ignored you—erased you. He didn’t so much as spare you even a glance as if you were just another extra. Whenever you appeared, he made a move to leave, spouting excuses such as “I’m going to sleep,” or “I don’t have time to be around you losers,” the usual Bakugou Katsuki response to any form of unnecessary socializing. He had to act like you didn’t exist, put his mind on something else—anything else.

But darn that girl and her need to check on and care for other people.

Noticing something was wrong with the boy, you sought Katsuki out, cornering him. You asked him what was wrong, to which Katsuki gritted his teeth, unable to look at you in the eyes, knowing that those feelings would bubble up inside him again as they conjured troublesome butterflies in the pits of his stomach. Yet it was no use.

He couldn’t deny that he missed those times together—when you would patch up his wounds and bruises after training or when you’d let him try out your spicy ailments before half-and-half because you always knew he had a preference for spicy foods. He still had it bad for you.

And he continued to harbor those feelings even after you all graduated after your third year at U.A.

The heroes-in-training were ready to take on the real world as Pro Heroes and sidekicks. By then, you and Shouto had admitted to the class about your relationship. Some were surprised, while others, specifically the girls, expressed their rounds of “I knew it!” likely noticing the chemistry between the two long before. Katsuki had decided to play dumb and acted like this announcement meant completely nothing to him. Just useless news. That was what he told himself, anyway.

After that, Katsuki didn’t see much of the couple around. All of them were busy with work and trying to get their names out in the public to compete on the Billboard Hero Chart.

Which was good news for him. With his goal of becoming the Number One Hero still lodged into his head, the blond threw himself into his heroic duties. Often, he didn’t stop, persisting on job after job until the agency he was under forced him to take breaks whenever they deemed necessary for his health. In those times, Katsuki found himself slowly forgetting about you. But occasionally, he’d see glimpses of you again.

As expected of one of the graduates under Class A of U.A., you were definitely making a name for yourself and propelling in popularity. Whether he wanted to or not, Katsuki would see articles and advertisements glowing with your resplendent features plastered on headlines, covered by your hero name.

God, did you look as beautiful as always. Katsuki would think before jolting his mind back to reality, remembering that you weren’t his to ogle.

The last part was hard to bear, especially when his former class announced a reunion party at a restaurant Momo had reserved for them when everyone had hit the legal drinking age. Katsuki was definitely not keen on going. However, his friend Kirishima had convinced him to come along through relentless persistence.

Ultimately, he attended the reunion. He and Eijirou arrived together and appeared relatively earlier. Well, earlier than at least half the class anyway. Eventually, more of their former classmates trickled into the food establishment and greeted one another with boisterous cheers all around. Which, unfortunately for him, included the people Katsuki dreaded to see the most—you and Shouto.

Your hand was already laced with half-and-half’s when you two entered, resulting in some of their classmates teasing you about your public display of affection. Both didn’t mind though. Over the years, you’ve grown quite comfortable with hand-holding and even hugging in the open.

You know who did mind? A certain explosion hero, of course.

Save that shit for when I don’t have to fucking see it. He almost hissed out loud but bit his tongue at the last second.

To his luck, you had ended up sitting next to him, with Shouto at your left. Though you were sandwiched between two guys from your former class who were infatuated with you, Katsuki felt like he was more suffocated than you were.

The reunion that night went by relatively smoothly. You would chime in some small talk with Katsuki during certain intervals of time while everyone was holding their own conversations in the background. He did his best to keep his cool and not let himself act like a high schooler in love. To some degree, he thought his facade had worked as he played off his usual “Bakugou responses,” albeit with a lot less yelling and venom in comparison to how he spoke to everyone back in high school. Dare he say, he might have even softened up a bit. What he didn’t notice was Shouto glancing at him from the corner of his eye while in the middle of a conversation with Midoriya.

The night continued with rounds of alcohol poured across the table of twenty-one heroes. They made their cheers before helping themselves to their spirits. Conveniently, Shouto and Katsuki were very adept at holding their drinks. You? You weren’t as great. By the end of the night, you passed out from how drunk you were and had ended up laying your head on the table, head floaty and light.

By then, everyone else had left aside from maybe five or so people. Momo graciously helped the couple secure a cab home safely for the night, and Shouto had gotten up to help confirm some information. Katsuki was left to his own devices with you next to him.

His eyes couldn’t help but wander toward your form. You were so vulnerable in front of him, with your soft lips, splayed hair, and long eyelashes turned in his direction for him to see. Though a bit of that smell of alcohol lingered, he could still make out the flowery aroma you always gave off. You smelled of lavenders, daisies, roses—every fucking flower under the sun—with a hint of honey. Your scent intoxicated him. He started to wonder if this is how you smelled like at home, or if your scent became even more potent whenever you appeared fresh out of the shower and—

Katsuki hadn’t realized his hand had subconsciously gone up to brush a stray hair from your face until he managed to pull himself away from his thoughts. Thankfully, he retracted his hand back before committing himself to the act. But the gesture did not go unnoticed by the heterochromatic-eyed man who had appeared again to gather you in his arms.

Shouto had taken his coat and wrapped it around you before hooking his arms beneath you to cradle your body.

“Mm, Shouto…” you hummed against him, arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as you nuzzled further into him while on the verge of sleep. Katsuki’s heart throbbed hearing those half-dazed murmurs that left your lips, which hovered so close to that bastard’s neck. He wanted the privilege of holding you close and taking care of you at your most vulnerable.

“Come on, love, we’re going home,” he said fondly at your resting state. Katsuki didn’t catch the cold glare Shouto sent his way as he looked elsewhere to avoid the couple’s intimacy right in front of him. All he could hear after that was the engine of their cab rumbling in the distance, trailing back to their humble abode.

•

•

•

“...I know.” Shouto finally breaks the silence within the hospital room, eyes still trained on his beloved as he rubs his thumb across your knuckles to the base of your hand.

Katsuki looks up at his words incredulously. “The fuck is that suppose to mean.” He narrows his brows into a pressed glare.

“I know that you’re in love with her.”

Katsuki deadpanned, his eyes wavering at the man’s declaration. Should he deny it? Make it seem as if the icy-hot head was delusional? No. He knows that the signs must have been obvious coming from the one man in his way of vying for your attention, the man that would go to so many lengths for you that he’d travel to the moon and back in a heartbeat if it were in your name. Katsuki can’t pry himself out of this one.

He takes a glance at you. Was this really the place to be confronting him about this? In the presence of your unconscious state resting in this hospital bed between them?

“And what about it?” Katsuki counters his claims.

“I don’t plan on letting her go no matter what.” As if to make a point on his words, Shouto’s hold on your limp hand is firm, unmoving. He slowly shifts his gaze to the ash blond, crossing his look of anger. “So stop playing this game.”

When the words travel across the hollow hospital room and to Katsuki’s ears, his fists tighten in response. “Game? Game?!” He raises his voice, body shaking. “You think my feelings are some sort of joke to you?! That I’m only looking at her like this for fun?!” His eyes find Shouto’s blue and gray, red with ire. The young man in front of him is unfazed in the wake of his indignation.

“Let me tell you something fucking straight…” Katsuki starts, stepping forward, finger pointing fiercely in Shouto’s direction. “I won’t deny anything I feel for her at this point. I’m in love with her, alright?” he admits without hesitance and notices the subtle quirk of Icy-Hot’s brow. “And I’ll tell you that if she were mine, she wouldn’t have gotten in this position in the first place.”

Those words are what finally make Shouto’s unnatural composure crumble. He releases your hand to stand from his place and face the blond at eye level. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Crossing his arms, Katsuki scoffs at the question.

“You’d think I’d even let that villain get near her if this was gonna happen?” He gestures in the direction of your patched-up form, asleep and littered with bruises. “If she were looking at me, I would’ve already been on the scene to back her up. And just what were you doing, huh? Helping old ladies cross the street?” Katsuki is unfiltered as he hurls his insults, but three years of dealing with him as a classmate has made Shouto immune to his temperament.

“Let me get this through your head then. She was never looking at you. She was looking at me.”

Ouch. The blond would be lying if those words didn’t stir a pot of hurt inside him.

“And as both her partner and a fellow Pro Hero, I more than trusted her enough to finish the job on her own. Even if this isn’t a game to you, you’re already losing a battle you can’t hope to win.”

“Not sure why you’re the one calling the shots for her,” Katsuki quips. How ironic the girl they’re both fighting over lays comatose in this very bed between them.

The atmosphere is layered in dreadful silence afterward. The monitor next to you beeps in eery succession. It is the only thing heard in the hospital room that is wrapped in tension so taut it is bound to snap at any moment.

The knot of strife is undone by the door sliding open to reveal a nurse entering the uneasy state of the room.

“Mister Bakugou and Mister Todoroki, I’m sorry, but visiting hours at the hospital are closed for the evening,” she informs them as the two had yet to realize the sky veiled darkening orange with the setting of the sun. Eyeing the clipboard hugged to her chest, they knew it was about time for the hospital to assess your condition again.

The two make their leave, taking the time to thank the nurse before doing so, but the suffocating tension follows them even outside the hospital. They don’t speak a word afterwards, only sharing bristled looks and heavy steps until they’re forced to head off in their respective paths, not sparing any more kindness.

To Shouto, Katsuki would never understand the lengths he’d go for you because Katsuki could also never experience what the two of you went through together in the same way. All those years together, forging unforgettable memories of love and tenderness, could never be replicated.

But the blond isn’t bothered by those facts. It doesn’t unnerve him that he was unable to encounter all those firsts with you because in his mind, he’ll just create new memories—ones that you’ve never experienced and ones that will make him the last and only person you’ll ever want by your side. He’ll blow fucking Icy-Hot out of the atmosphere.

ending note: heyyy congrats if you’ve made it to the end. i think at the time i was writing this, i had an idea on how to progress the fic, but i decided to leave it on this. not particularly sure if i’m going to continue this, i may just leave it up to your interpretation. does katsuki steal the readers heart? does shouto protect his love from being severed in front of him? will the reader even wake up? find out on the next episode of dragon ball z

[notsowrites]

No Place Else I Could Be (But Here In Your Arms)

A 3x10 Malex Coda

I got an anon prompt asking if I could write the couch sex. This is not that... well, not exactly. There’s sex, just not that specific sex. So I wrote this, and then in typical fashion, worried about it until I remembered something someone told me once: "in the time you're spending worry about it, they've already taken their pants off.”

{AO3 Link)

So here ya go, enjoy! <3

--------

Michael wakes slowly, acutely aware of Alex sleeping next to him. Legs tangled, Alex has his face buried against Michael's shoulder, tiny exhales as he sleeps blowing cool air across Michael's skin. They'd somehow managed to fall asleep on the couch afterwards, the afghan pulled over their naked bodies.

He’s beautiful, he’s perfect, he’s home, Michael thinks as he watches Alex sleep.

Last night had been different from anything that had happened before between them. Michael had made the decision, especially after everything with Alex the last couple days, and particularly in regards to trying to learn how to let go of his anger with the past, to finally tell Alex this is what he'd been working towards, this had been the mission he'd referred to the night he'd kissed him at the Pony. To finally be able to answer the question Alex had posed in the song he'd sung a year ago, to finally be able to say he was home.

Max, Isobel… Dallas - they were family. He knew he'd only just met Dallas, but after their talk on the pier, he wanted to get to know him more. To explore that hope Theo had expressed that they would form their own triad.

It's all broken without three, Max had once slurred out in the midst of a bender on their 21st birthday. And maybe Michael hadn't realized it at the time just how true that statement actually was. Because he had a triad, he's had Max and Isobel since the moment they emerged from the pods. But he also had another triad in Isobel and Dallas, one that was brand new and he couldn't wait to explore more. 

Alex had been right, he did need to start letting go of his anger about his childhood. But he's relied on it for so long, it's been a constant companion to him almost since the moment they came out of the pods. It's not going to be easy, but he had realized today he needed to start putting in the work. And in the bunker, Alex had listened as he'd broken apart, giving him the details he'd never shared before about that part of his life. As the tears had fallen down his cheeks, Alex had been there to wipe them away. To remind him that the past didn't define him. He'd rolled up the sleeve of his jacket, exposing his arm and the faded scar of a long healed burn. Alex had reached out, fingertips tracing along the skin.

I'd thought it was just a junkyard accident. I never asked.

Michael also knows that before today, he never would have answered with the truth. 

He'd seen his own pain reflected back in Alex's eyes, a kind of tether between them he still didn't fully understand. Because it wasn't the first time he thought it appeared as though Alex was able to feel the pain he was experiencing, though it's the first time he thinks to explore it and understand it. It was one of the reasons, on the list of many, that had kept him awake at night over the last decade, curious about their connection, about what it meant and how to exactly describe it.

Cosmic had fit the way no other word had. The vast reaches of the universe, the galaxy, the cosmos. There was too much of it, it was impossible to truly put into words, to quantify - and that's how his connection with Alex felt. 

Indescribable and infinite.

Dallas had asked, afterwards. He's more than the guy who fixed our parents' machine, isn't he. Michael had, at first, been floored by the recognition. That Dallas had picked up on that already. But for the first time he's eager to answer in the affirmative, to be able to say that, yes Alex is more than that to him. It's the way you look at him.

He'd told Alex later as they'd sat here, how easy they were for everyone else to read. And he'd watched as Alex had smiled as he spoke, staring back at him with a bit of a knowing look. You should ask him about it, next time you talk. At first, he hadn't understood the meaning, why he needed to ask Dallas how he knew, why it mattered. But as the night progressed between them, it wasn't until they were skin to skin, coming down from their orgasms, that it hit Michael.

Dallas has his own Alex.

He hears the change in Alex's breathing a moment before Alex is pressing his nose to the skin of his chest, slowly waking up himself.

"I love the way you smell," Alex says, the words spoken against his lips. "Like after a rainstorm, but with a hint of motor oil and grease. The rain always makes me think of you."

"Every time it rains?" He knows Alex has mentioned the smell before, made a joke about it that day they'd been investigating at the Long Farm. But no one else has ever said anything, commented on the way he smells before - well, about the grease and motor oil they have, sometimes a comment about how he would smell better if he showered more. But Alex is the only one to mention a rainstorm.

Alex nods, propping himself up on Michael's chest so they can look at one another. Michael reaches up, pushing Alex's hair back off his face, watching as Alex leans into his palm.

"In a way, I was glad it doesn't rain very often in the Middle East. It meant something of you didn't follow me to distract me."

Michael smiles. "I'm a distraction?"

It's the way Alex smiles in return, it's the way he leans forward and pushes their mouths together, pulling Michael's lip between his own. It's the way Michael has his arm wrapped around Alex, his hand resting on his back, slowly moving up and down against his skin. It's the way Alex trails a hand down his chest, fingers dancing across his chest hair as Alex continues kissing him.

Alex wraps a hand around his dick, palm against the sensitive skin, their lips still moving together, and Michael can't stop the gasp that escapes at the sensation. He reaches up, his hand going to the back of Alex's neck, pulling him in and closer, closer, closer as Alex's hand moves. Their foreheads stay pressed together, they breathe the same air as Michael feels his dick harden under Alex's careful motions.

It disappears in the next moment though, Michael opening his eyes just as Alex is pushing up and off his chest. He's about to protest, about to ask what Alex is doing, when Alex straddles his hips.

"Alex," he whines, hands immediately moving to Alex's hips, fingers pressing into the skin and muscle. He watches helplessly as Alex reaches behind himself, a second later feeling Alex's hand on him again, his dick pressing against Alex's hole. He's about to protest, because he would enjoy nothing more this morning than being able to finger Alex open, to hear his particular moans and groans, when Alex pushes down, because Michael is unable to focus on anything except the feeling of tight muscle and heat, and Alex.

Closing his eyes, he gives himself over to the feelings, fingers tightening slightly on Alex's hips before he feels a set of hands on his face. He opens his eyes to see Alex in front of him a moment before their lips collide, their foreheads pushing together. He kisses back, pulling Alex's lip between his own, sucking on it, running his tongue along it. Slowly, Alex starts to move, small gyrations of his hips, and Michael slides his hands down to grab onto the flesh of his ass, urging him, encouraging him, to move faster.

But Alex keeps his dizzyingly slow pace, their lips pressed together, and Michael goes. He gives himself to the heat building low in his belly, the way he can feel his balls tightening. Focuses on Alex's lips against him, Alex's body against his, until he can't take it anymore.

He pushes up, guiding Alex with him, and gently flips their positions on the couch. He pulls Alex's legs up around him, and pushes back into him, sealing their lips back together as he thrusts forward.

"Michael-"

He doesn't answer, not with words, just holds himself above Alex as he chases every feeling that is building up inside him. Michael feels his arm shaking again, they'd done the same thing last night when he'd been overwhelmed by everything happening as he’d held himself up above Alex. Because it's been months upon months since he's had Alex like this. And if he's being honest, also never quite like this. Everything feels better now, he doesn't have the impending sense that when this is done, when they're sated and letting their bodies cool, that it won't mean one of them is planning their escape. Because he's home, and neither of them are leaving now. There was last night and waking up this morning and Michael knows that there is going to be a tonight as well.

A future.

He leans down, pressing his lips to Alex's chest, to the space near his heart where he'd been injured by the crazed bootmaker. Michael slows his thrusts enough to find the scar - small and barely visible but another constant reminder of how close he came to losing Alex forever - and kisses it again. He doesn't know if Alex knows what he's doing, until Alex slides a hand up his neck and into the hair at his nape, guiding him up to kiss him again that Michael thinks he does.

"I'm right here," Alex breathes against his lips, short kisses over and over, their foreheads pressed together tightly. "I got you." 

His hips jerk faster, and he feels Alex tighten around him as he spills onto his stomach. Michael presses down towards him, keeping their foreheads pressed together, catching every sound that escapes Alex’s lips. He feels Alex’s hands on his back, gripping his ass, fingers digging into the skin and muscle, urging him on. It doesn’t take much longer before Michael’s own orgasm hits, ripping through him with one final thrust, Alex holding him still as he spills into him. He chokes out an embarrassingly loud moan into Alex’s mouth, overwhelmed by everything he is feeling, before sealing his lips around Alex’s own.

Neither moves right away, and Michael feels Alex’s hands on his back, fingers tracing patterns along the skin as their lips continue to brush together. Gently, he falls forward, his arm no longer caring to support him, and he tucks his face into Alex’s neck, pressing a kiss to the underside of his chin. Alex shifts his arms, one hand moving up to bury itself in his curls, and Michael leans into the touch.

He doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to stop touching Alex, not yet. Maybe not ever. But there’s cum cooling on Alex’s chest, and Michael allows himself to be pulled back to the present, that they should probably clean up first.

But it's that thought which has him thinking about last night again, and this morning, and how eventually they're going to get dressed, and they're going to have to face whatever the day brings. But tonight, when it's all said and done - he won't be going back to the junkyard to an empty trailer. No, tonight will be different. Tonight will mark their new beginning, new steps forward in their relationship.

On the coffee table, his cell phone buzzes from where he'd left it last night. Whatever and whoever it is can wait a little longer, he thinks. He has something - someone - more important to take care of first.

[daverygalskisbff]

could we get some allura & lance friendship prompts? i LOVED your other ones btw 💖💖💖💖

HI I'm sorry this took forever I have honestly no idea why bc I adore these two and I ADORE this prompt so my brain should not have shut down the way it did. anywayz to make up for the wait i tried to make this a bit longer than my usual posts :) I hope you like it!

(also, as usual, everything here I came up with myself, and if there's any similarity to someone elses post I apologise and promise it wasn't intentional)

now without further ado,

Lance and Allura!

similar to lance and pidge, the two are decidedly Not close in the beginning 

i had an entire thing about how i imagine they became friends at first written out, but it was a tad too long and i didn't want to clog up the post with too much exposition. so instead, let's just skip forward and get into their dynamic after they become buddies :) (however, if anyone wants to see the backstory I would not be opposed) 

although he no longer has a crush on her, lance makes it a point to hype her up as much as he possibly can 

at first allura was confused, because she thought it was him trying to flirt with her still, but once she understood what was going on she was more than willing to join in 

lance when allura completely destroys the training droid: WOWZA ladies and gentlemen of the jury may I present to you the icon the legend the moment herself her royal highness princess allura of altea!!!!! if you thought that was impressive just WAIT till she gets warmed up because this is just the beginning!!! she can even do it in heels- 

shiro: lance, please focus, this is really important that we- 

allura: no no, shiro, please. let him finish. 

they both show their friendship in slightly different ways. lance's way is that he is physically incapable of not humouring the princess

allura when lance shows her his cartwheel: incredible!!!!!!! i have never been more impressed in my life!!! do you think you could do it in heels?? 

lance: uhhh. y'know princess I'm really loving the faith, but- 

allura: :)? 

lance:.... what if you don't have my size? 

lance fractured his ankle. allura has yet to stop apologising. 

allura's way is definitely safer, but it's also a lot more... cluttered. to say the least.

allura, returning from a recon mission with a tiny bag filled with what looks like tiny, glittery dinosaur figurines made of glass: lance! look at what i bought for you! 

lance, taking one look at the contents of the bag: wow, 'lurra, this is… so nice of you

allura: lance, are you. are you crying? 

lance (definitely crying): what? NO! of course not!! I'm just. allergic, to. uh. oxygen. 

allura: what. 

allura never had any siblings back on altea, but she always wanted them

this, paired with how much lance misses his own family, means that the two of them kind of gravitate towards each other in terms of siblinghood. 

as a child allura would imagine what it would be like to have siblings, but especially a twin. she would fall asleep to dreams of secret handshakes, finishing each other's sentences, and swapping places to trick people

she doesn't realise the brother she has found in lance until a long time after they've become close (how would she recognise a dynamic she has never been privy to?) 

this realisation happens on just a random day in the castleship lounge. she is talking to hunk, when suddenly lance, who she didn't even realise was listening to their conversation, butts in and finishes her sentence. 

she's annoyed at being interrupted at first, but then what happened sinks in, and suddenly she's fighting off tears. lance doesn't know why she's crying, but he hugs her anyway. 

the two of them match accessories a lot 

with allura's love of pretty things (and the abundance of stuff in her closet) paired with lance's natural dramatics, nobody else on the team is entirely sure of whether this is intentional or not. 

it started off as intentional. it is now second nature. 

one decision, however, was completely planned and thought out for exactly twenty minutes, and then deeply regretted by both parties for the next 48 hours

allura pierced lance's ears 

now before you get judgemental, you try making a smart decision at two am space-time while very giddy and slightly buzzing on some weird old alien candy that not even your resident alien is sure the ingredients of. then talk to me. 

pidge: okay so you're gonna need a needle, ice, and… yeah I'm pretty sure that's it 

lance: don't we need a potato too

pidge: … why the fuck would you need a potato 

lance: I dunno!!! my sister pierced her friend's ears one time and she mentioned a potato!!! I'm just trying to make sure everything goes well, pidge! 

allura: I love these earth customs you two are showing me!! when I got my ears pierced it was done with some kind of laser, but your way sounds much more fun :). 

allura: also, what is a "potato" and where can we find one? 

it goes about as well as you would expect 

the excited buzz on lance lasts about three ticks into the process, and then the screaming starts

pidge (the genius who came up with the idea) gives him some altean taffy to chew on to stop him from making too much noise, and allura, the angel, is babbling right along with him 

allura, with tears in her eyes: how was I supposed to know it was going to hurt mine didn't hurt well it was 10,000 years ago and I was very young altean children don't have very strong pain receptors you know, maybe that's why my parents had it done at that age, or maybe your people are just completely barbaric, who thought this would be a good idea?? pidge why did you suggest this poor lonce is in tears lonce I'm so sorry but if it's any consolation at all at least now your ears won't be nearly as hideous as before and you can borrow as many of my earrings as you want except for the sparkly green ones that dangle those are my favourite well they're actually my second favourite I'm wearing my favourite - you can't borrow those either, by the way, but you can have any of the others I promise 

lance, also crying and still chewing the altean taffy: hhb, llura yub domf hoff do bologuys, ss long'ss yub sanstsd thu niddle frst 

allura (who did not remember to sanitize the needle), now crying freely: I don't understand what you're saying 

(pidge records the entire thing)

the next day lance wakes up with ears that are very sore and slightly green, and allura faints

they spend the entire morning avoiding shiro in case they get in trouble and trying to figure out how to get the healing pods to work

lance: what do you mean you don't know allura you literally lived in one of these 

allura: I was asleep the whole time!!! don't put this on me!! 

lance: don't put- you are the one that pierced my ears, allura, of course it's on you!

coran, who has been watching this entire interaction in silence: oh, I thought i noticed something different about you, number three! 

lance and allura: [screaming] 

coran helps them set up the healing pod 

unfortunately lance has to take the earrings out, so the holes close back up, but fortunately coran just so happens to know how to pierce ears the correct way that they did on altea 

lance, after half a day in the healing pod, watching coran advance upon him with a literal handheld flamethrower that shoots lasers: is it too late to go back to the ear infection 

coran is surprisingly very adept at the skill of altean beautification (an activity that has a surprisingly long and rich backstory, which lance and allura get an in-depth lesson on for the hour that it takes to do lance's ears properly) 

they're exhausted afterwards, but lance looks great, so they're in good moods regardless 

they like to teach each other about things from their respective planets - both for fun, and because it helps them feel less homesick 

whenever allura is particularly down about the loss of altea, lance will visit her in her room, and the two of them will just lie together on her bed. 

they don't say much, most of the time, just link their pinkies together and stare at the ceiling 

when they do talk, it's quiet, and always allura who starts it - she might share something she remembers about altea, and lance listens quietly and then responds with something he misses about cuba 

it isn't always sad tho - sometimes they just talk about things they remember that pop into their heads, or explain things to each other that they wouldn't otherwise know 

at the space mall, they make a game out of pointing things out to each other and trying to guess what it is (allura can only guess when they're in the earth shop, but it's okay because she more than makes up for it in enthusiasm) 

lance, holding a my little pony collectible: okay princess. what is this.

allura, completely serious: a weapon

lance: ... close

allura, holding up a set of magnetic heart necklaces to the light: what does… "biffs" mean? 

lance: it's "bffs," princess, it means "best friends forever" 

allura: oh! you mean like me and you? 

lance: 

lance: 'lurra what did we say about making me cry in public, we've talked about this- 

(they buy the necklaces. obviously.)

they mess with each other's hair a lot

once allura learns that lance's hair is naturally curly, and that he just straightens it all of the time, she makes it her god-given mission to convince him to wear it naturally more often

this mission includes plans such as stealing his hair straightener, "donating" a bunch of curly hair products to him because she "doesn't have the space", and getting keith to say he thinks curly hair is cool one day in the rec room

she still thinks it's the funniest thing ever that that actually worked

other than week-long sabotage plots, they both think it's fun to have lance braid allura's hair

he used to braid his sister's and niece's hairs all of the time, so he has a knack for it that allura did not expect at all but is obsessed with anyway

allura, coming to lance's room a few hours before another diplomatic party: hey..... how yall doin.....

lance, already prepared with a million different brushes and bands: oh my god just get in already

lance and allura have a lot in common 

one of these things, they learn very early into their relationship, is that they are both disasters when it comes to pretty girls (and boys, but that's a lance-exclusive situation)

so they become each other's wingmen

they both tend to get… a little too into it 

the team: [at a diplomatic ball]

lance, seeing a pretty alien girl looking allura's way and "politely" speedwalking over to her: alluralluraalluraalluraalluralluraalluraalluraalluralluraalluraallura pretty girl look over there eleven o'clock LOOK she's gonna walk away looklooklook

allura: lance darling thank you so much for your help but I am in the middle of talking to the president 

and alternatively: 

allura tries to set lance and keith up all the time. at first she was worried she would be overstepping boundaries, but after one particular sleepover where lance spent an entire hour lamenting his "bad luck" she decided to take things into her own hands 

this includes, but is not limited to; sending them on supply missions alone together (often), mentioning particular things lance has done to his appearance to keith every time she can, and talking about specific paladin bonds more than she maybe should 

lance hates it

keith, walking into the lounge: h-

allura, immediately: hello keith!! help settle an argument, will you :)? 

keith: um… okay 

allura: lovely! now, tell me, do you think lance looks cuter today than he did yesterday? we can't seem to agree on whether or by he's stunning or simply handsome. what do you think? 

keith: uh-

allura: oh, and while I have you, have you noticed that his ears are pierced? 

lance, beet red: allu-

allura: what :(?? can't i be proud of my handiwork?? 

lance, to keith: I am not associated with her

after a week of this keith literally sets up a system where if allura is in a room he walks into he just does a complete 180 and walks back out

one time, at a diplomatic meeting, an alien politician mistook them for a couple and they both choked on their drinks at the same time, and then got offended that the other one agreed that the concept was insane 

allura: what happened to being the princess of your dreams, lance?? I thought I MEANT something to you. obviously! i was wrong! 

lance: oh yeah?? then why did you GIGGLE, allura. what's so funny, huh?? my good looks??? my charming charisma?? how far out of your league I am??? 

allura: 

lance: okay maybe that last one was a bit of a stretch 

another thing lance and allura do is pronounce each other's names wrong

they call each other lonce and allora 

it started as lance kind of making fun of allura's accent, but turned into just one of their Things 

allura honestly didn't know it was a bit until the habit had been long constructed

[charmingyong]

Make a Wish, Boy

Genre: Jaehyun x fem!reader, angst, fluff

Warnings: self doubt/insecurities

Word count: 1.7k

Plot: After Jaehyun’s ex crushed his confidence, he met you. The same girl that his genie hyung tended to.

A/N: Sequel/spinoff to Make A Wish, Girl but you don’t have to read that one. Something @cosmiclatte28​ suggested and I wanted to write months ago and I finally did it :D This is the official end.

- ❀ -

A heavy weight on his shoulders had never left Jaehyun ever since his girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, dumped him. It was more her words that devastated him than the actual breakup as he had seen it coming with her growing disinterest in him.

“You’re not the same as I thought,” she reasoned. “You’re so clingy and emotionally sensitive. It’s really annoying.”

Her reply made all the self love he tried so hard to build over the years crash down at his feet.

Jaehyun pressed the button for the elevator and let out a long sigh. An old friend of his from school times moved into a nearby apartment, and so he decided to make a trip and visit Jungwoo.

He watched the red lighting display above, the numbers slowly decreasing as the elevator descended. During the wait, he felt a presence beside him and turned his head to quickly glance at his temporary lift buddy.

Only for the air to get knocked out of his lungs when he saw your face.

You were the same girl in the biodata he suggested to his Taeyong hyung, and he then realized that this was the same address he read on there.

The elevator doors opened and you walked in casually, pressing on the button to your floor. You noticed that the boy you stood beside didn’t budge from his place as he gawked at you.

“Are you gonna come in?” you asked, holding onto the button that kept the doors open.

He shook out of his thoughts and hurriedly jogged in. “Sorry,” he muttered while avoiding your gaze shyly.

You hummed. “It’s okay. Where are you heading?”

He was about to press the button for Jungwoo’s floor until he noticed that it was already lit up. “Oh. Same as yours.”

“Ah.” You flashed him a genuine smile and Jaehyun’s heart melted at the simple gesture.

When the doors opened, you strolled out with him following behind. Jungwoo’s suite arrived first, making him halt in front of his door.

“Oh! You live here? I live right next door,” you mentioned with a lively beam.

It was way too fast for him to move on this quickly, especially with the existing insecurities. But he couldn’t help it when his heart combusted at your bright self and you had only met him a few minutes ago. “Actually, it’s my friend’s place.”

Your face fell slightly at the reply and he sensed it, immediately adding, “I don’t live far though. I mean that’s if you want to... um... meet me again.”

Oh shit.

No.

Please say no.

He regretted blurting it out.

But the beautiful smile that formed on you afterwards made his heart drop.

“Sure! I’d love that.” You pulled your phone out and clicked on the screen while Jaehyun grew restless.

He shouldn’t have. This wasn’t right. He’d only drive you away just like his ex.

“You can put your contact in here,” you said and handed the phone to him.

He slowly took hold of it and hesitantly added his name and number before giving it back.

You grinned upon reading his name. “It’s nice meeting you, Jaehyun. I’ll text you later. And oh! I’m Y/N.” You nearly forgot to introduce yourself.

But even if you hadn’t, he remembered your name. “It’s nice meeting you too, Y/N,” he responded with a forced yet excited smile.

You headed towards your door and right before stepping out of his sight, you waved your hand happily, in which he mirrored with an anxious heart.

Once gone, he turned to ring the doorbell but his friend had beaten him and swung the barrier open, a mischievous smile plastered on Jungwoo’s face. He had heard and seen everything through the eye hole.

“So?” Jungwoo was excited to hear the details from his friend about the next-door girl that he had bumped into once.

Jaehyun heaved out a sigh and walked past him. “Just someone I met on the elevator.”

“And you gave her your number. Wow, I didn’t think you’d get over your ex that fast.”

He didn’t. He was still emotionally scarred after exposing his vulnerable side. Jaehyun hated feeling this way, regretted putting his heart on his sleeve. “I’m worried she’ll leave me.”

Jungwoo tutted, disapprovingly shaking his head. “Tell her the truth. Honesty is the best policy.”

- ❀ -

Jaehyun sprinted with his pounding heart. He spent way too long striding around in his home that the time now read 2:05 pm.

Five minutes past the agreed time for meetup.

His hair was a complete mess, having ran through them constantly due to stress. He texted to inform you of a delay due to an unforeseen circumstance. It technically was one, when he didn’t think the fear would get to him this bad. He was a little relieved when you replied back.

Y/N: Oh! Dont worry about it. I’ll be waiting for you :)

You really were an angel that he didn’t deserve to ruin.

Sipping on the cappuccino, you hummed in a delightful tune while waiting for the boy. Waiting didn’t bother you as long as you weren’t being stood up and were informed about it. It was only for a matter of minutes and you’d forgive him ever since receiving multiple frantic apologies and assurances that he’d be there soon.

While taking another sip, the door to the café burst open, and you smiled upon seeing the flushed boy.

He spotted you right away and jogged over. “I’m so sorry! I- I was troubled with something.”

You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it. But what were you troubled with? Anything I can help you with?”

Jaehyun gawked at you, amazed that you’d be really calm despite the wait. If he did that with his ex, he’d have to make it up to her.

He really didn’t deserve you.

He sheepishly smiled. “Well, it’s something I wanted to talk to you about anyway.”

“Ah.” Admittedly, you were anxious with what he had to say, seeing that he was troubled by it before the meetup. “What is it?”

He rubbed the back of his neck and released a deep breath. “I...”

You waited patiently with your entire attention fixed on him.

“I have problems.”

You stayed quiet, unsure what he meant.

Jaehyun looked away from you, his saddened eyes clearly evident. “Like problems in me,” he continued.

You blinked. “I really don’t understand. What problems do you have?”

Jaehyun sucked in a breath and thought back to his ex’s words and listed them off to you. “I’m clingy, emotionally sensitive, overprotective, don’t know how to give space...” he spoke quietly.

When he didn’t continue after trailing off, you urged him gently, “And? So... these are the problems you think you have?”

He shook his head. “I know I have them. It’s the reason why my ex-girlfriend left me.”

You hummed. “Good thing she left.”

Your words stung him hard. He should have seen it coming, yet had a little hope flickering inside that you might be different and tell him that his ex was bad. Looked like he was wrong. He really was all the supposed bad things that his ex had mentioned, and he felt like digging up a grave for himself, hoping he could vanish from the face of the earth.

Until you continued.

“She doesn’t deserve you, making you feel like something is wrong with you when the problem is in her. She couldn’t understand you and that’s her issue. These aren’t problems, Jaehyun. Everyone is different. These so called problems sounds more like you’re the caring type and I like that.” You reached forward to put your palm up, silently asking for his hand. He placed his in yours hesitantly, his heart melting when you curled your fingers around his, rubbing circles with your thumb on the back of his hand.

Jaehyun loved feeling the butterflies in his stomach from your touch and wished you wouldn’t stop the interaction. “You really don’t think I’m bad?” he asked with a hopeful shine in his eyes.

You shook your head, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “Nope.”

He sighed, looking down at the table. “You will when you spend more time with me.”

When he didn’t hear your response, he lifted his gaze to see you staring intently at him. You remembered feeling this way, heartbroken a few months back when your ex cheated on you. But thanks to Taeyong, you healed and were now the best version of yourself to date.

And like the way Taeyong helped bring your shine back, you were going to do the same for Jaehyun. With determination in your eyes, you said, “Wanna bet?”

- ❀ -

Jaehyun walked back to his place and was startled to see a figure lazing on his couch. He jumped and placed his hand over his heart. “Oh gosh, hyung! What are you doing here?”

Taeyong huffed. “Well, of course I would only be here to discuss about one thing.”

“What is that?”

“Y/N.”

Jaehyun pressed his lips and looked away.

The genie sighed. “Your breakup really took a toll on you and I notice it every day. But you have to understand that Y/N went through the same thing before. She’ll understand you better than anyone else can. You have to trust her word.”

Jaehyun scrunched his face in confusion. “Her word?” 

Taeyong smirked, silently thinking back to your meetup at the café with Jaehyun where the genie was present in disguise to hide himself. “I overheard the bet.”

-

Jaehyun furrowed his brows. “What bet?”

You smiled, pleased that he was going to give you a chance to prove him wrong. “Let’s say one month. If in one month I run away, I’ll go back to my ex and beg him to take me back.”

His jaw dropped at the absurdity. “You wouldn’t do that.” It didn’t make sense to him and you shouldn’t have to do that.

You crossed your arms and leaned back against the chair, smiling confidently. “That’s how confident I am.”

He gulped nervously. He couldn’t let you do such a thing if you lost. Jaehyun was going to have to get over his internal battle and learn to love and accept himself wholly. “What if you win? What if you don’t leave me in a month?”

A wide grin took over your features, making your eyes crinkles happily. “I want be your personal genie. I’ll make every wish of yours come true.”

[tangledstarlight]

Written for Day Two of Jukebox Appreciation Week: Alternative Universe –– @jukebox-week​

here is my, somewhat anticipated, firefighter!luke au. this got. so long guys. i’m so sorry. it became a 5+1 and i lost control. this all started because i wanted to see luke do a pole slide and i didnt even fit it in smh. also check out this amazing art by mamirugbee if you get the chance too!! anyway, much love!! enjoy!! 

also on ao3!

lil disclaimer: i’ve never been to la and i’m not a firefighter, i tried to do as much research as i could but firefighter forums aren’t helpful as you’d expect for somethings, who knew! so take everything with big dose of suspension of belief please! 

trigger warnings! mentions of blood & injuries (nothing graphic), lots of swearing, fire.

RATED T –– there’s no graphic scenes but there’s a lot of kissing and fading to black, so rating might change if anyone needs me to 😬

Word count: 21,184

ONE

When he was a kid Luke had had a lot of dream jobs.

There was a week when he’d wanted to be a landscape gardener after watching too many renovation shows during a week off school sick. When he was eleven he’d seriously considered being a doctor for approximately two days after watching too many reruns of ER with his mom, but it was quickly pointed out to him that he would need to go school for years. And he’d given serious consideration into being a professional bungee jumper, which he still maintains is a real career path and he’d have been excellent at it.

But then he’d discovered music when he was thirteen when his parents had given him a guitar for his birthday, and that had been it.

That was his dream.

To stand on a stage and play for an audience and create a connection with the world. And he’s pretty sure he could have done it. It would have been the dream he reached.

But then the garage they rented to rehearse caught fire while he was asleep on the ratty old sofa they’d found on the street. And maybe the fire itself wouldn’t have been enough to make him change his dreams, but everything that happened afterwards?

Well, there’s nothing like almost dying to reorder your life, right?

(It’s the story he tells everyone if they ask, it’s the one he almost believes too.)

The owners of the house had left a candle burning or forgot to unplug a toaster or something mundane and silly like that. Something that people always warn about but never think will happen to them. He doesn’t know. He can’t remember.

All he knows is he’d been sleeping on the sofa and the garage had gotten warm and he’d woken up to a room full of smoke. There had been a moment of panic, as he sat frozen, chest having and eyes stinging, before he’d jumped up, grabbed his guitar, his notebook, his phone and ran outside.

Luke remembers watching the flames grow higher and higher in the garage, smoke following after him from the door he’d just run from. He remembers watching them seem to jump from the roof of the house to the garage. He remembers seeing Mrs Anderson running up to him, the oldest daughter trailing behind with wide eyes, and asking for his phone. He remembers fishing it from his pocket and dialing 911. He remembers the moment he heard the line click, a voice asking him a question as his eyes locked on the house and he saw two hands hitting at the upstairs window.

After that he doesn’t really remember much of anything, he tells everyone.

Except that he does.

He can still remember the heat on his skin, how he’d been grateful for once that he’d fallen asleep in his coat. He remembers his lungs aching as he sucked in smoke and coughed it back out. He remembers a split second decision. Guitar and notebook falling to the ground and running into the house as Mrs Anderson screamed something behind him.

He remembers, as he tried to cover his mouth, his nose, with the sleeve of his coat, thinking that this would be an awful way to die. He remembers not wanting to. He remembers, as he kicks down the jammed door of the youngest kids bedroom, how he really wanted to hug his mom again. He remembers someone screaming and his name being called and throwing a blanket over his head, a weight in his arms he doesn’t remember picking up. He remembers flames and heat and wet tears on his neck and gasping for breaths and then he really doesn’t remember anything at all.

Until he wakes up in a hospital bed and his mom is in the chair next to him and it hurts a little to breathe and there’s bandages on his arms but he’s alive and Luke’s pretty sure that’s the important part to remember.

It’s the part he remembers when the doctors say he can’t play his guitar for a couple of weeks while the skin on his hands and arms heals, that he should avoid straining his voice for a while. It’s the part he remembers when they pick through the rubble and burnt out remains of the garage he’d called home for the last few weeks. It’s the part he remembers when Alex and Reggie tell him it’s okay that they take a break from ‘breaking into the music scene’ while he heals and they find a new place to rehearse and replace their equipment.

It’s the part he remembers when the Anderson’s show up at his parents house with flowers and a basket of snacks and thank him.

He’s alive and they’re alive and part of that is down to him.

And it’s that bit that keeps tripping him up. No one has ever called him a hero before, but that kid does. The youngest Anderson that he’s shared maybe five words with before running into a burning building to carry out. He’d called him a hero and hugged him and Luke had spent the next hour trying to figure out what that meant to him.

Music was his dream. He was pretty sure it was his heart and his soul and everything in between. But it hurts to talk for the first few days after and it hurts to sing for a few weeks after that and, without really noticing it, he ends up back at school. And then he’s graduating and Alex is going to UCLA and Reggie decides he wants to be a teacher and the band is at a stand still.

And Luke— doesn’t mind as much as he thought he would. Doesn’t mind putting this dream on hold while he maybe explores something new. Something he’d never even thought about before.

(And if telling people about the fire kept them from asking why he no longer sang, well, that was a bonus. He nearly died, that was a good enough reason to reorder anyone's life. Right? They didn’t need to know about his performance issues.)

The point was, Luke had once dreamt of playing music to the world and leaving a mark, something to be remembered by.

And then he’d nearly died and music had to wait and he...found a new sort of dream. It wasn’t exactly making a connection with everyone but for the couple of minutes he was carrying someone out of a burning building? It was a connection that would leave a mark, at least for a little while. And it really didn’t hurt that people seemed to love a man in a firefighter uniform.

But just because his dream of playing music didn’t come true didn’t mean he didn’t still love it. Which was why standing outside the burning record store was really hurting his heart.

“Do we know if there’s anyone inside?” He calls over to his captain who’s already directing people around, but Luke’s eyes are on the windows of the second floor and the smoke he can already see against the glass.

“Not that we—” the words have barely left Harrison’s mouth when they both see a face through the smoke and hands banging on the glass. Whoever it is looks like they try opening the window but nothing happens and their knocking on the glass gets more frantic.

“Roof, window or stairs?” He asks, already flipping his visor down and checking the straps across his waist holding everything important.

“Stairs, they’ve cleared the side entrance. Try to come out the same way you go in this time, Patterson. And take Danforth,” she waves one hand in the air but Luke is already heading towards the side of the building, his mind already ten steps ahead.

Get to the door. Check his oxygen. Check Danforth isn’t about to fuck things up. Count to five in his head and walk inside a burning building..

“Going in now,” he says into his radio, as he nods his head at Danforth and pushes on ahead.

Lukes has been into a lot of fires since that first one when he was seventeen and running on nothing but adrenaline and impulse. But there’s still always a moment after he first steps inside a burning building that feels the same as the first time. A rush of heat, heart pounding, thoughts running wild about how this would be an awful way to die.

Then he sucks in a breath, lets the weight of all his equipment resettle on his body, in his mind, and he gets on with his job.

And sure okay, he still runs mostly on the adrenaline coursing through his veins, but he’s pretty proud to say he thinks things through a little more now.

Mostly.

They make it up the stairs and through the flat's front door with little issue, which is, of course, when the issues decide to show up. He can see why the girl in the window was looking frantic, and swears at the fact no one downstairs had noticed the huge fucking hole in the ceiling.

It stretches from just in front of the door to what he assumes used to be a living room, but half the sofa is hanging down and there’s flames already licking their way up a kitchen bar stool. His eyes scan the room on the other side of the hole, trying to spot the best place to cross and the stranded resident.

“Hello? Fire and rescue, we’re here to get you out!” He doesn’t hear anything for a moment, and then a hand shoots up from behind a table followed slowly by a head of curls.

“Over here,” at least he thinks that’s what she says. It gets cut off by a cough and her head ducking back down.

“I’m coming to you,” he calls, but she either doesn’t hear or can’t ankowldge it, but that’s fine. Luke just needs to know where she is. He backs up a step, looks back at the hole in the floor and backs up another, and then he runs, jumps, lands with a thud that echoes up his legs.

There’s a cracking sound behind him, and Luke turns in time to see part of the floor where he’d just been standing start to give away as flames leap up and smoke clouds the area, while Danforth hops backwards to avoid taking a fall. He can see wide eyes through the screen of his visor and Luke reaches up to tap the button on the talkie, inclining his head towards the door as he speaks.

“Better tell Harrison I’m coming out the window.” He shoots the other man a grin before turning back to his job at hand. Find the stuck girl, go out a window, hopefully make it home before Reggie eats all of Alex’s leftover lasagna. Oh he hopes there’s still some garlic bread left over too. Or maybe he can convince Alex to whip some up for them, that man knows how to make a good garlic bread. Little cheese on top. Some of the fancy salad he steals from work. Maybe Willie will be over and he’ll have bought dessert.

Luke’s planned out his ideal menu for the evening, and breakfast the next day, by the time he makes his way carefully across the crumbling floor and is kneeling down across from a girl whose face is mostly obscured by wild curls and a damp towel. Someone paid attention during a fire talk, he thinks.

“Hey, are you hurt?”

It’s only four years worth of training and feeling the heat of flames slowly getting closer that stop Luke from completely blanking on his job as wide brown eyes meet his through his visor. There’s a streak of soot on one of her cheeks and he catches sight of unshed tears pooling in her eyes. She’s looking up at him with a mix of fear and worry and what he really hopes is gratitude and a large part of his mind knows this isn’t the right time, but holy crap, Luke’s pretty sure she might be the prettiest girl he has ever seen.

“No,” she coughs out, shaking her head and Luke blinks. Pulling his thoughts back to the issue at hand. The fire, the falling floor, the window, the— was she wearing monster slippers? He bites back a smile even as his eyebrows tick up, just a little.

“Let's get you out of here, yeah?” He ducks his head to catch her eyes and make sure she’s heard him. “You ever jumped out a window before?”

The girl's eyes widen a fraction as they dart towards the window she hadn’t been able to open and when they dart back to him there’s a determined glint mixed with the fear.

“Wait here, I’m gonna make sure we’ve got a soft place to land,” he pushes himself back up and over to the window, gives it an experimental tug and frowns. Someone has painted the window shut, which is bad for fire safety, but great for him being able to show off a little and smash a window. Luke unhooks the axe from his belt just as his radio crackles to life.

“Which window are you coming out of Patterson?” Harrison’s voice comes through and Luke can picture the way she’d probably sighed in resignation when Danforth had turned up outside with his news. He was always being told off about coming out through a window when it wasn’t a part of the plan. Turning slightly so he’s standing side on, Luke raises his arm and swings the axe at the glass. Someone shouts from below and he hears the girl let out a gasp over the sound of shattering glass.

“This one,” he says, holding down the button on his radio and reattaching his axe in one movement before leaning out the window to see them pulling the large inflatable cushion to below the window he’s standing at. He wishes the bigger ladder truck hadn’t been redirected across town, it was much more badass to help a pretty girl down a ladder then it was to push them out a window and say ‘jump’. He waits until someone shoots him a thumbs up and turns back into the apartment.

“Alright, let's get out of here shall we?” Luke says, holding out a hand to help her up, there’s a second of hesitation before she drops the towel she’s holding and reaches up to grab it. He notices the bag she’s clutching to her chest and idly wonders what she’s deemed important enough to save from a fire. He’s been doing this job long enough now to know that everyone has different priorities. Some are more questionable than others.

“Wait,” she pulls her hand out of his grasp as they reach the window and she leans out, “You’re serious about jumping out? I thought you had like ladders or something! I can’t— I—”

“Woah hey, hey,” he puts a hand on her back as she tries to back up into the room and Luke is conscious of the fire still raging, eating away at the floor, and he knows there’s no time, but sometimes people just need a little reassurance, “It’s okay. What’s your name?”

She looks up at him and there’s tears streaking through the soot on her skin as she breathes in shallowly, “Julie.”

“Alright Julie. Normally we do have a ladder, and I know it looks scary but this is perfectly safe. I promise. It’s like jumping onto a giant cushion. Kinda fun if you forget about the fire.”

She still looks unsure, head shaking slowly as her grip on the bag tightens and Luke ducks his head, and even though he knows he shouldn’t, he flips up his visor so she can see him better.

“I know we’ve just met and you have no reason to trust me, but I’m going to ask you to trust me anyway. It’ll just be a shortfall and a bounce. Over before you even remember to be scared,” he can feel his lips tugging into what he hopes is a reassuring smile. Julie’s eyes track over his face quickly before she shuts them tightly and nods once.

“Okay. Okay. I’m jumping out a window. Sure. This is fine,” she mutters and Luke grins, flipping his visor back down and slowly helps Julie up onto the window sill before she can change her mind.

“I’m gonna keep hold of this alright?” he gently extracts the bag from her fingers and secures it over his shoulder before helping Julie sit on the sill and jumps up to join her, legs dangling in the open air. “Short fall and a bounce. You got this,” he squeezes her hand that’s gripping the window frame as she flinches at the sound of something falling behind them. “Ready?”

She whispers something that he doesn’t quite catch but nods her head, squeezes his hand back and jumps. There’s a rush of air, Julie sucking in a breath somewhere next to him, and then he’s hitting something, body being absorbed by something cold and bouncing once, twice, and then settling.

Despite the fact he’d just told Julie that there was nothing scary about jumping out of the window, Luke always felt a spike of fear in the first second he’s airborne. There’s a moment, just a single moment, where he worries that this time he won’t hit the ground again. That he’ll float away. It’s illogical and crazy, and Luke knows that. But he still worries. The same way he always worries that this burning building will be the one he doesn’t walk back out of.

For a moment, Luke just lies there. He lost Julie’s hand somewhere in the fall but he can hear her breathing somewhere nearby and slowly the sounds of his crew start coming back to him and he blows out a breath and gets back to work.

//

One of the bonuses to being the person to jump out of a burning building is that Luke doesn’t have to help deflate and put away the cushion. The downside is that he has to spend twenty minutes with one of the paramedics as they check him over.

No matter how many times he tells them he’s fine. You lie about bruising a rib one time and no one lets you forget it.

“Are we done here?” He asks as the paramedic finally doesn’t swat his hand away as he takes his oxygen mask off and Luke tries really hard to not let his leg bounce too obviously.

“Any sign of issues—” they start but Luke is already pushing up from the back of the ambulance, shooting the paramedic a two fingered salute and picking up the bag he’d dropped by the back tire when he’d been told to sit. It’s only a short journey to the gurney on the other side of the vehicle and the girl lying on it with her eyes tight shut and holding a phone to her ear, though he thinks it’s more for comfort then actually talking given she’s still got an oxygen mask over her mouth.

He approaches slowly, trying for a gentle smile as her eyes snap open and lock directly with his. He holds her bag up, and fully intends to just leave it by her side and get back to work — no matter how much he so desperately wants to talk to her again, even though he’s not sure why, but he’ll think about that later — but she pulls the mask away from her face and smiles back at him.

“Flynn just hold on,” she rasps and there’s a slight wince on her face as she realises how saw her throat is, Luke slowly approaches the side of the gurney and gives her what he hopes is a sympathetic smile. He remembers how shitty a smoke hurt throat can be.

“I gotta get back to my crew but I just wanted to check in,” he says, resting an elbow on the metal railing and pretending the way his eyes rack over her face and body is simply to check for injuries — though he’s glad to see the monster slippers survived the fire and the fall —, before he licks his lips once, and holds her bag up for her see, “and to make sure you got this back.”

Julie takes her bag with a relieved sigh that Luke might think more about if their fingers didn’t brush slightly in the transfer and leave him wishing he hadn’t been wearing gloves when he’d held her hand as they jumped out of a burning building.

Which right. Burning building. Almost dying. Being scared. Priorities Luke!

He clears his throat and smiles again, a little softer as his eyes linger on her face. Someone has wiped away the worst of the soot from her cheeks and forehead, but there’s still streaks of it across her skin. And she’s looking at him with the same sort of grateful look that he’s seen countless times before, and he swears there’s something else. But she had nearly died, and he’d helped save her. His job here was done. A connection with someone that would last long after she forgot his face or his name.

“I should uh—” he points over his shoulder with his free hand, taps along the side of the gurney once, twice before breathing out, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

He only manages to take a step back and turn around before Julie is coughing out, “Wait!”

Luke doesn’t hesitate to spin around and back to her, eyes quick to scan her face to see what might be wrong, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“No I just—” she coughs again, and Luke reaches across to slide the oxygen mask back on her face, keeping a careful eye on how many breaths she takes before she slides it off again, about to say something when she beats him to it, “Sorry. I just. I wanted to thank you. For y’know. Saving me. And…” she trails off, biting her lip and for a moment Luke thinks she’s about to start coughing again but with the way she starts avoiding his eyes she realises she’s just putting it off.

“And…?” he prompts, ducking his head slightly to catch her eyes.

“And I realised I didn’t get your name. Which sounds silly now I’ve said it out loud,” she mutters the last part, head hitting the flimsy pillow with a soft thud that makes him grin. Because she wanted to know his name! And it’s not the first time a person he’s saved has wanted to know his name, but it’s the first time a super pretty girl has asked and he’s wanted to tell her.

“It’s Luke,” he says with a grin, taps against the gurney one last time, “Maybe I’ll see you around sometime Julie.”

TWO

Luke had taken up running when he was 19, between jobs and starting to worry all his potential had been burnt up in the same garage fire that had destroyed his favourite couch and stolen his voice at 17.

It had been his dad's suggestion. A way to get him out of the house and doing something that wasn’t moping or waiting for his friends to be finished with classes, he’s sure. But, even after he’d signed up to be a firefighter and had a whole new fitness schedule, running was still his favourite thing to do. He and his dad might have had their issues but he’d been right about needing a way to clear his head when he could no longer write.

And while he no longer really needed to run to clear his head about what he wanted to do with his life, he did need to breathe in fresh air and forget about the damage a fire can cause.

Some days he had more images to forget about then others.

Some days he just wanted to run.

And some days, he needed to get out of the house before Alex force fed him some weird experimental fish dish. Apparently they were testing out a new menu at the restaurant which just meant Alex was testing the food out on him and Reggie and occasionally Willie when the skater couldn’t come up with an excuse quick enough.

So maybe he was running in the park and avoiding one of his roommates. It was still a valid reason. He’d seen grapes being mashed up with paprika and had not been interested in trying it. Reggie and Hotdog could take one for the team.

The route he runs takes him past a duck pond and a bunch of teenagers throwing a frisbee and other people walking their dogs and —

“Fire! Dad! It’s on fire!” A voice from his left screams and Luke’s instincts kick in as he changes the direction he’s running without faltering a step.

It’s one of those stand alone bbq things that parks have dotted around and Alex hates. Something about not being able to properly grill the meat. Luke had given up listening the third time he’d started talking about them, much more concerned about how no one ever checked them over or made sure they were safe to use.

He can see the problem straight away, something has fallen between the grates and caught on the coals, and where it should just be glowing embers and small flames there’s smoke billowing and flames jumping out at the teenage boy frozen in place.

“Hey can I borrow these?” Luke asks as he comes to a stop next to him, carefully extracting the tongs from his grasp before he can respond. It’s not exactly standard protocol or even the safest plan but Luke clicks the tongs together once before darting them into the flames and pulling out whatever was causing the fire and dropping it on the square of concrete that the bbq is planted on. He stops on it a few times until there’s no longer any flames jumping up at him and all that’s left is smoke and what looks like a half burnt cloth.

“Carlos! Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Luke turns around just as an older gentleman rushes over, eyes darting from the fire Luke has put out, to the still cooking burgers, to the teenager who’s grinning.

“I’m fine,” he reassures his dad and Luke takes the opportunity to shake some ash off the tongs before offering them back to him, “Dude that was so cool! You just stomped out a literal fire!”

Shrugging, Luke rubs at the back of his neck as he shoots the dad a quick smile, “Just doing my job, it was no big deal. Honestly.”

“Your job?” The man asks, head tilted curiously as he accepts the tongs.

“Yeah I’m a fi—”

“Luke?” A voice he hadn’t expected to hear again cuts him off as a girl with a mass of loose curls in a pretty pale yellow sundress skids to a halt in front of them, eyes looking quickly between him and the other two with increasing concern as she seems to notice the burnt ground. “What happened?”

“Julie! I— Hi,” Luke starts and suddenly wishes he was wearing something more flattering than shorts and an old band t-shirt he’d cut the sleeves off of on a whim. He at least wishes he’d had time to shower before she starts to think he just always stinks like smoke and sweat.

“This young man just saved your brother from a flaming napkin,” the man says and there’s a teasing note in his voice as he looks at his son before raising an eyebrow, “You two know each other?”

“Yes. I— well sort of?” Julie says and there’s a slight furrow between her brows, “Luke’s the firefighter who got me out of the apartment.”

“You’re the one who got my Julie out of the fire? And you just saved Carlos too?,” he says, taking a step closer to him and Luke only has time to nod before he’s speaking again, “You must let me thank you! Do you like burgers? You should stay, eat with us.”

“Oh that’s— that’s really kind of you sir but you don’t have to do that. I was literally just doing my job. Both times,” Luke’s quick to say with a shake of his head, but there’s a gleam in the man's eyes that makes Luke pretty sure he’s about to be eating a burger. Which is better than the option waiting for him at home.

“I won’t hear anything of it. You saved my children, the least I can do is offer you some food. And you can call me Ray,” the man — Ray — waits until Luke gives a smile that feels only a little forced before turning back to the bbq and Luke catches him muttering something, “We really should have attended that fire safety course Victoria mentioned.”

Coughing to hide a laugh Luke looks back in time to catch the tail end of a look that Julie shoots at her brother and the way he rolls his eyes before he grins and walks over to his dad. And then it’s just him and Julie. Who apparently told her family about him. Luke bites his bottom lip to try and not smile because of course she’d told her family, she’d nearly died and hadn’t. It was a big deal. It was something you told people. It doesn’t make him special.

Julie’s looking up at him, her head tilted slightly like she’s considering something and he desperately wants to know what’s going on inside her head. But then his eyes glance down and he can’t stop the grin that spreads across his face at the sight of the doodle covered sneakers she’s wearing and how different they are to the monster slippers he’d seen her in last time.

“No slippers today?” the words slip out of his mouth before he can stop them, brows rising as he looks pointedly at the sneakers on her feet and back up at her.

“Didn’t want to make anyone jealous,” she laughs, but Luke can see a slight flush in her cheeks as she brushes some hair behind her ear and he’s suddenly struck by the urge to do it for her. He’s saved from making an embarrassing move by her next words, “I see you’re not in a uniform today either.”

And, if Luke didn’t know any better he’d say she was upset about that fact if the way her eyes tracked down his body and back up to his face, and if the deepening colour in her cheeks was anything to go by. But why would she be upset about him not wearing his uniform? That thing was heavy and warm. He did not get the fascination.

“They let us wear other clothes sometimes. The uniform can get a little hot,” he grumbles only for his lips to pull up into a slight smirk as he watches the way she bites her lip and avoids his eyes, “Why, disappointed?”

“What? No! I—,” she sucks in a breath and blows it out and Luke watches as she tosses curls over her shoulders and straighten her spine before looking him straight in the eye, and there’s a fierce sense of determination mingling with something like excitement, “I was just thinking how I never got to thank you properly. For helping me out of the building. And how I’d like to do it in a way that doesn’t involve my dad burning burgers in the park.”

Luke blinks and just stares at her because it sounds a little like she’s just asked him out but he doesn’t want to be one of those guys who just assume they’re being asked on a date because of a little life saving. She could just mean a totally harmless thank you coffee and he’s just overthinking it and oh fuck she’s still talking and he’s just gaping at her.

“And I mean it doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be! I could just buy you a– a doughnut or something. Wait, that’s police isn’t it? Shit what do you buy firefighters? Do you have a stereotypical food? That’s not the point. I—” she sucks in a breath like she’s about to ramble on some more when Luke’s mind finally catches up and he grins at her, reaching out to catch one of her hands that had started waving through the air mid spiel.

“Julie. I would really fucking love to go to dinner with you.”

Her eyes light up as she looks from where he’s still holding her hand, their fingers somehow becoming interlocked and Luke doesn’t know if he did it or if she did but she doesn’t seem to mind and neither does he. It kinda feels right.

“So dinner. So I can thank you, and we can… get to know each other,” she sounds a little shy as she says it and Luke squeezes her hand.

“It’s a date.”

//

He gets to the restaurant ten minutes early and Luke’s pretty sure it’s the first time he’s been early for something since they had the chance at playing at an under 21s club when he was 16. He hadn’t even been early for his first day at the station.

But for a date with Julie Molina? On time wasn’t even an option.

There was just something about her that made him want to show up early, to wear his fanciest shirt, to comb his hair. She made him feel alive in a way he hadn’t in a long time — which he’s pretty sure says something about a guy who runs into fires for a living and maybe he’ll think more on that later — and so far he’d only really met her twice.

And one of those times probably shouldn't count, given all the fire.

But his point still stood. There was something special about Julie that meant she deserved him dressing up and bearing Alex’s teasing and having to gently push Hotdog away before she left hairs all over his pants.

For half a second, as he stands in the doorway of the restaurant, eyes glancing around before landing solidly on Julie in a booth against the wall, Luke wonders if she thinks he’s special enough to not be on time for too. And then he blinks, and she’s waving a hand at him and he remembers he’s pretty ordinary in the scheme of things and Julie is probably just a very punctual person.

“Hi,” he breathes as he slides into the booth on the opposite side of the table from her, noticing her bag and jacket filling the empty space between them and then the way her fingers are fidgeting with one of the cloth napkins on the table, “Sorry I’m late. You look really nice.”

Because she’s wearing a dark blue dress with little stars stitched into it in silver thread that glints under the lights of the restaurant, and her curls look bouncier, if that was even possible, with some pulled back at her temple with clips. And she looks more than nice, but Luke’s already said nice now so he can’t take it back, can he? Oh no, he’s spiralling.

“Oh. I’m just…early,” she trails off, giving a small shrug and shooting him a smile that he doesn’t hesitate to return and he doesn’t know if it’s him smiling or just the fact he’s shown up or — what, but Julie’s fingers still on the napkin as she seems to settle more in herself, and she blows out a breath before smiling at him, “You look nice too. You’ve got...sleeves today.”

Luke can’t help it, he blushes, a laugh working it’s way past his lips as he rubs at the back of his neck, trying to play it off cool only to promptly give up when he catches sight of the way Julie is trying to bite back a smile at his reaction; because making her smile is quickly becoming one of his favourite things. And hopefully, if tonight goes well, he can spend a long time making her smile, and more.

“You’ve seen me with sleeves more than without,” he points out and this time it’s Julie’s turn to blush a little, ducking her eyes.

“Well your arms certainly make an impression,” she mutters with a roll of her eyes at him. But it’s hampered by the blush still on her cheeks and Luke grins, nudging her ankle with his foot under the table.

“Have you been here before? I looked up the menu but couldn’t decide what looked good,” Luke says, letting the topic of his arms drop for now. Though if all goes well he’ll make sure to bring it up at another time.

“My tia says they do a really nice tagliatelle,” she replies, picking up her own menu and letting her eyes glance at it before back up at him with a smile.

“This is the tia who makes the really good um,” Luke bites his lip as he tries to recall the conversation from yesterday, snapping his fingers when the word comes back to him, “Tostones! That your dad was talking about?”

The smile that graces her face lights up her eyes, like she hadn’t thought he’d been paying attention to what was said yesterday, or that he wouldn’t remember even if he had been.

“Yeah, that one,” Julie looks back at her menu and Luke follows suit, eyes skimming past all the options but not really taking any of them in. His mind is still stuck on the way she’d smiled at him and how pretty her eyes were when she did.

Their waiter comes and Luke takes her tia’s suggestion and goes with the pasta dish, pretending not to notice the way Julie smiles at him when he does.

“So,” she starts when the guy has gone and they’re alone in their booth again, her hands folded over each other on the table as she looks at him, “Firefighting huh? That must be...I don’t want to say fun but...interesting?” She wrinkles her nose a little, like it’s still not the word she wants to use, and he gets it.

“Interesting is a pretty good word for it. And it can be fun,” he nods, biting his bottom lip as he thinks about it, “When we get to rescue cats or someone's trapped on their roof or something. But it’s intense too. Some days are harder than others to go home from.”

“Is it something you always wanted to do?” There’s honest curiosity in her voice and Luke almost feels bad for laughing after the way it makes her blink in shock.

“No,” he shakes his head, still laughing a little, “I uh I was gonna be a rockstar. Not like kids say they’re going to be,” he’s quick to add as her smile returns, “Me and my best friends, Alex and Reggie, we had a band and we were fucking good. Played our own instruments, wrote our own songs. I think we could have been legends,” his voice trails off as he thinks about it. About that abandoned dream and the scars from it he still holds.

Julie tilts her head at him and he blinks to pull himself back to the present as she speaks, “Can I ask what happened? If it’s too painful or anything you don’t need to tell me I’m just...curious. Don’t hear many people who sound so passionate about lost dreams.”

“Ironically, there was a fire at our rehearsal space and uh, no one was seriously hurt or anything. Everyone got out. But um, I was in hospital for a few days for minor burns and smoke inhalation,” Luke frowns and tries to keep to the facts, no need to wander down that memory lane right now, “I couldn’t play for a few weeks afterwards, and then the first time I tried to sing was about a month later and it...hurt. So I haven’t tried since.”

“How long ago was that?”

“I was 17 so uh seven, nearly eight years ago now,” he hadn’t realised it had been so long. Huh.

Julie blinks at him, her mouth opens only to close again a few times before she seems to find the words she’s looking for, “That’s...wow Luke, that’s a long time. But I— I kind of understand. The being hurt and...scared to sing again.”

Ignoring the way she seems to have caught on to his unspoken truth in being scared about singing, Luke focuses on her own apparent issues. And the fact that she’s apparently a singer. He might have pushed down all his own music related dreams but he’s always had a type.

“Can I ask what happened?”

“My mom died when I was 17,” she gives him a sad smile and Luke’s eyes immediately widen, lips tugging down as he starts to get an idea of the story that’s about to follow.

“I am so sorry Julie. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” and it’s instinct to reach across the table and touch the back of her hand that’s strayed back to the napkin, and it seems to be instinct for her to turn her hand over and link their fingers.

“No, no it’s fine,” she sucks in a deep breath, and lets it out again, keeping her eyes on their interlock fingers, “It was um cancer. And we knew it was coming, so we got the chance to say goodbye. But my mom she was— God she was the best person I knew. She was amazing and my best friend and just this amazingly talented musician who used to be in some badass bands. She taught me to play piano, and a little guitar and we used to sit out in the garage that her and my dad turned into a studio and just — write and play and sing together for hours.”

There’s a pause where she looks lost in a memory of a different life, and Luke lets her have it. Lets her play with his fingers and figure out how much of her past she’s willing to divulge on a first date. Alex is always reminding him that not everyone subscribes to his brand of honesty from the get go. And then she sighs, licking her lips before looking up at him with a small smile that he thinks means thanks.

“After she died I uh I couldn’t play or sing for a long time. Music was just— it was our thing and I didn’t know how to do it without her. So I avoided it at all costs and didn’t sing for nearly three years,” she blows out a breath, shaking her a little at him, “And then I was in the car one day, I don’t know where I was going, but the radio was on and one of my mom's songs came on. I didn’t even think about it, I just… started singing along,” she shrugs one shoulder at him before blowing out a breath and laughing.

“God, sorry. I really brought the mood down huh.”

“Best to get the traumatic backstories out of the way now,” he grins, squeezing her fingers quickly, “But hey, you can’t just mention your mum being in a band and having songs on the radio that casually! Gotta tell me more now. If you want to.”

So she does. She tells him all about Rose and the Petal Pushers and how her tia was the original bassist before life got in the way, how they’d played the club scene in the 90’s and landed a gig at the Orpheum, about the few songs they’d had that landed on the charts and the ones that some classic rock stations would still play. She tells him about the vinyl she’d had of their first album that she hadn’t been able to save from the fire and how her dad had been the one to shoot the cover art. She tells him about teaching music part time to kids while she works on making connections and plans for an album and how much she hates looking at apartments.

In turn Luke tells her all about his parents, and Alex and Reggie and how he saved Hotdog the cat from under a hotdog vendor's cart and had been hiding her in their apartment ever since. They spend too long talking about how she knows of Reggie’s music classes and how she’s been to the restaurant where Alex works too many times to count, and how it’s so weird they’ve never met before an apartment fire. He tells her how Alex and Reggie are his family, how they’d been with him through the loss of music and finding firefighting and how he’d already beat Reg at rock, paper scissors five times to be Alex’s best man when either he or Willie popped the question. He tells her how he can’t play his guitar unless he’s drunk and the place that used to be full of lyrics is silent.

At the end of the night, when their waiter finally gets tired of them hogging a table and asks them to leave, Luke knows enough about Julie to know that if they hadn’t met the way they did then they would have met some other way.

So he kisses her slowly, gently, against the side of her car and knows that she feels whatever it is between them too when she asks if he has plans tomorrow.

He doesn’t. And even if he did, he would cancel them for her.

THREE

“Ugh I love my dad but I have got to find somewhere to live before him and Tia drive me mad,” Julie grumbles through the phone and Luke smiles as he pictures her gripping her steering wheel a little tighter as she struggles with her love for her family and her need for space.

“Still no luck with the apartment hunting, huh?” He asks, hoping the sympathy is evident in his voice even as it’s partly muffled by the way he’s trying to pull a t-shirt over his head at the same time.

“Everything’s either too expensive or too far away from work or just has bad vibes,” she sighs and Luke can faintly hear the ticking sound of an indicator in the background.

“How can a place have bad vibes?” he laughs as he pulls the hem of his shirt down with one hand, closing his locker with his elbow of his other, nodding at Harrison as she raises an eyebrow at him as she walks past and Luke already knows he’s going to be teased today. Much like everyday since he and Julie had officially started dating.

But look, it wasn’t his fault he’d somehow met literally the best person on earth and she’d decided he was worth spending half her time with. Even Alex, Reggie and Willie had agreed that Julie was pretty fucking awesome and way out of his leage and had made him promise not to fuck it up. Which personally, Luke had found a little rude because he had no intentions of fucking things up and full intentions of spending the rest of his life with her.

Which yeah, okay, he knows is a little much after only a few months.

It was why he hadn’t asked her to move in with him. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Alex was in the back of his head reminding him that they’d only been dating for two months, or sixty seven days if you wanted to be exact. Not that he’d been counting or anything. Because that would be weird. It was just— Luke didn’t do casual when it came to relationships. He was either all in or not at all. And he was all in for Julie, and he was like, 75% sure she was all in for him too. But even still, it was too early to ask her to move in. Right? Fuck, he was going to have to go back to his pros and cons list later.

“Trust me, if you’d been in this place you’d know what I mean by bad vibes. Carlos would say it gave him ‘bad ghost tingles’, which I really didn’t understand before today,” she laughs a little before muttering something he doesn’t quite catch and then something he’s pretty sure translates to shoving something somewhere unpleasant and Luke grins to himself. Julie with a little road rage is kind of hot.

“Anyway,” she returns to the conversation and he really wishes he was in the car with her and not across town leaning in a doorway, it’s almost enough to make him start pouting before her next words are crackling through the phone, “Are we still on for dinner tonight after your shift?”

“Yeah!” Luke clears his throat, hand rubbing at the back of his neck at just how quickly and loudly he had agreed to that, but he can hear Julie laughing gently through the phone so he’s not really all that embarrassed, “I mean, yeah as long as you’re still up for it?”

“You said Alex was going through a fusion phase and I really want to see how he’s going to combine Italian and Thai food.”

“Oh I see, so you’re only using me to get close to my chef roommate, huh?” Not that he could blame her. Alex made some pretty great food.

“Don’t be silly, I’m clearly playing the long game and intend to use you to get to play with the sirens on a fire engines,” she giggles and it’s nearly enough to make Luke quit his job to spend the rest of his life trying to make her repeat the sound over and over.

Which is of course when the alarm sounds and people start rushing around him. He hears Julie blow out a breath on her end of the line and for a moment Luke can picture her so clearly. Sitting in her car, hands gripping the wheel and fingers tapping along to whatever melody is stuck in her head, hair tied up because she was going to wash it tomorrow, a little crease between her brows as she concentrated on the road that would deepen every time someone pissed her off. God he— huh. Luke blinks and blows out a breath of his own. If it’s too early to ask her to move in, he knows it’s probably too early to say the thought that just stuck him.

“I gotta,” he rasps, swallows and tries again, “I gotta go. Duty calls. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Eight o’clock. I’ll meet you at yours,” he imagines she’s nodding her head at him, “Be careful out there okay?”

“Always am,” Luke wants to say something else, but Danfroth hurries past him and he’ll be damned if he's not ready first, “Bye Jules.”

He holds on for a few more seconds, to see if she’s going to say anything more but it’s just static and their breathing and a click as they hang up.

//

His first year at the station there had been a massive ten car pile up on I-5 where the Hollywood freeway decided to join the party. It had been a lot of broken glass and people calling for help and a car hanging over the edge as others started burning. Luke doesn’t remember many of the details of the night. Except that he kind of remembers all of it.

Because his brain hates him and insists on keeping hold of all the traumatic moments in his life no matter how hard he tries to forget them.

He remembers being frozen at first. Gripping the strap of the bag he’d been told to hold as people bumped into him as they’d got straight to work. He’d been 21 and a probie and suddenly thinking he’d made the wrong career choice. He’d been seconds away from bolting when he’d heard a small voice calling for help. And Luke had blinked. Sucked in a breath of cold air and got to work.

It had been a series of reassuring smiles and telling people to cover their eyes and trying to ignore the way some people were covered in more blood than what was left in their bodies. He hadn’t had to deal with the worst of it, not really, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still sometimes wake up having dreamt of blood on roads and pulling people from cars before they blew up.

Now, as he closes the door of the engine and snaps the strap on his helmet closed, Luke thinks he’ll be dreaming of this call for a long time to come. On the plus side, at least this one was taking place in daylight.

“The hell happened?” he mutters.

“Truck lost a wheel and took out three cars in front of them and then another four behind. I think the rest are just collateral damage,” Danforth shrugs as he passes by Luke to open one of the side hatches on the engine.

Something about the way he says it rubs Luke the wrong way but he doesn’t have time to figure it out because Harrison comes up to give them assignments and he’s grabbing the jaws of life and heading into the chaos and the mess.

There’s a moment of calm between him helping get a young man out of a car and arguing with someone from a different station about not scaring already scared people by saying they’re going to cut trapped limbs off, where Luke manages to take a moment to breathe. There’s sweat coating the back of his neck and he knows if he looks close enough he’ll spot blood on his gloves but that's a problem for future him. Right now all he wants is a cold breeze to blow across the freeway and to not see an other person stuck in their car.

“Can we get some help over here please!” Someone shouts and Luke rolls his neck, pushes away from the wrecked car he’d been leaning against and heads towards the voice.

The first thing he sees is a car on its side with something leaking from somewhere it shouldn’t and knows they don’t have long before it makes a bigger problem. The second thing he sees is someone with strangely familiar curls kneeling over a body surrounded by an awful lot of glass.

“We’re gonna need a medic over here!” He calls over his shoulder before closing the distance with a jog and dropping into a crouch next to the young woman with her hands pressed into the side of an older man. Luke’s eyes track from his body to the car and the trail of blood and back to the woman's hands, coated in blood and arms that are shaking.

“Okay, we got him. Did you pull him ou— Julie!?” Luke’s hands falter for a moment as he reaches to replace the woman's hands with a wad of gauze as he finally has a chance to glance up at her face and realises the familiar curls were familiar for a reason. There’s blood on her sweatshirt and a streak across her cheek that’s disturbed by tear tracks and Luke remembers the first time he’d met her, crouching behind her sofa with tears on her cheeks, holding a bag full of song books and photos to her chest, and looking terrified.

She looks scared right now, but not like she had then, a different kind of scared that comes from not knowing if you’re doing enough to save someone.

“I— I pulled him out because the car is leaking gas and I didn’t—” she pauses to suck in a breath, hands balling into fits as she tries to steady them and Luke takes the pause to run his eyes over her and check for any injuries. But she seems fine, which is the important part right now. Well that and doing his job.

“Hey, we got him,” he ducks his head to catch her eyes and waits until she lets out a shallow breath and nods, “You need to go get checked out by a paramedic.”

“I’m fine, it's— it’s not my blood. I wasn’t in the crash, I just got out to help,” she trails off as her eyes follow the path of a pair of paramedics hands that come into view, taking over his job of putting pressure on the wound and Luke rocks back on his heels to let someone else take his place.

“Come on Jules,” he puts one hand on her elbow and slowly pulls her up as he stands too, moving them both out of the way so the paramedics can do their jobs. He waits until they’re lying down a backboard and Julie can see that he’s breathing. That he’s alive they’ve done all that they can and Luke practically feels the breath she lets out, shoulders dropping and her hands finally uncurling as she lets him pull her further away from the scene.

“You’re okay?” Julie asks as they come to a stop near his station's engine, hands reaching out for him only to seem to notice the blood and stop half in the air, and Luke can’t stop the half scoffed laugh that comes out of his throat as he unclips his helmet to pull it off his head to see her better.

“I should be asking you that,” he mutters, raising a hand up only to remember he’s still wearing his gloves and starts to pull one off before trying again, letting his palm cup her cheek, thumb brushing gently over her cheek and taking some of the blood with him. “What were you doing out there? You could have been hurt.”

“That guy was hurt and he needed help,” Julie shrugs a little as she looks up at him with a small twitch of her lips, leaning her cheek in his hand as her lips brushing slightly against the skin of his wrist as she speaks, “You’re out here every day risking your life, Luke. All I did was drag a guy from a car and try to stop him bleeding out.”

“Probably saved his life is what you did,” he blows out a breath and tries to send all his worries and concerns with it. He wonders if this is how his family and friends feel everyday he goes off to work, because it kinda sucks, maybe he should apologise to his mom later. Luke opens his mouth to say something before being cut off.

“Patterson! We got another call, come on,” Harrison interrupts, shooting a quick smile at Julie before looking at him and nodding towards the engine.

“Are you okay to drive? I can get someone to drop you off at mine?” He’s pretty sure someone around here owes him a favour, or he can see if Willie’s free or—

“I’m fine to drive but you’re not going to be finished for four hours. I don’t want to be intruding or anything,” there’s a small frown between her brows that makes Luke grin and want to kiss it away. So he does. He presses his lips to her forehead, and rests like that for a second, two, three.

“They won't get this all cleared for a while but they’ll let you turn around and my place is back the way you came,” he points out as he pulls back a little to be able to see her eyes better, “So, you go back to mine, feel free to use one of Reg’s bath bombs if you want, raid the cupboard next to the fridge for some of Willie’s cookies. Relax. Plus you know where the spare key is, and Reg should be back at about five so if you can’t find anything he’ll be there to help.”

“You sure it’s okay?”

“Go. I’ll be back by eight. Promise. I love you.

They stand like that for a few more seconds, his hand on her cheek and staring into each other's eyes in a way that he’s sure is going to get him teased later on. And then Harrison calls his name again and he rolls his eyes to make Julie laugh and press a quick kiss to his lips. Before he leaves her, he catches someone from the 97 and asks them to make sure she gets out fine. And Julie rolls her eyes at him, but he simply shrugs as he starts to walk backwards with a grin.

It’s not until he’s sat in his seat, headset on and clutching his helmet that he realises he’s just said he loves her. Oh fuck.

//

As the door clicks shut behind him the first thing Luke notices is Hotdog waiting by the pile of shoes for him like she does every Tuesday when he gets home. 

The second is the smell of onions and garlic, which means Alex is home and cooking dinner and he hadn’t realised how hungry he was.

The third thing is the sound of Julie’s laughter mixing with Reggie’s and Willies and Alex’s voice trying to sound offended. And Luke smiles to himself as he kicks off his shoes, drops his bag and bends down to pick up Hotdog, fingers scratching under her chin as he thinks about how all of this is something he could get very used to.

Plus, if Julie’s here it means he hadn’t scared her off with his spontaneous declaration earlier. Which is good.

“...found her behind the bookcase in Reggie’s room like, 3 hours later!” Alex finishes saying as Luke strolls into the kitchen with said hide and seek champion in his arms.

“Are we talking about the first or the second time Reg couldn’t find her?” He asks leaning his elbow on the back of the chair Julie is sitting in and drops a quick kiss to her lips as she turns her head to smile up at him. She’s retied her hair up and all traces of smoke and sweat and blood are gone from her skin, leaving her smelling like peaches, so Luke’s going to guess she took him up on the bath bomb offer.

“Hey,” he whispers as he pulls away to run his eyes over her face, pretty sure she’s doing the exact same thing to him.

“I’m still fine. Better even. You have a really great bath,” she says, quite enough that only he hears, and he definitely doesn’t miss the suggestive tone that makes him bite his lip before he says something not appropriate for present company. Instead he settles for poking her lightly between the shoulder blades and letting his fingers trail up from her shoulders to her neck to idly play with a loose curl at the nape of her neck. Biting down on the smirk that’s threatening to take over his face, Luke turns his attention back to his boys and the times Reggie has lost their cat.

“Wait, you lost her more than once?” Willie stares pointedly at Reggie who pauses in his cutting up of vegetables to smile a little sheepishly at them all.

“Hey, Alex is the one who freaked out thinking she was blind when she just didn’t give a fuck about the laser pointer!”

“That’s not even—” Alex starts, turning around and pointing his spoon at Reggie only to sigh and shake his head before turning to look at Luke with a raised brow and a look in his eyes that he doesn’t understand in relation to his next words, “Okay, moving on. Put out many fires today?”

Luke rolls his eyes at him because ever since he’d started his firefighter training six years ago Alex had been asking him the same question every night he came home. It was tradition at this point. So he adjusts his position so Hotdog can jump from his arms to the ground and make her way over to Willie before he answers so he has full range of movement for his dramatic retelling of his day. He only gets as far as lifting one arm to point at his friends before he’s cringing and lowering it again, instead holding up his index finger and nodding towards the bathroom.

“Actually, let me shower first. There was a whole incident with vinegar at a store earlier,” he waves away confused looks and drops one eye in a wink as he starts to back out of the room, “All will be answered soon.”

He tries to shower quickly, but gets caught up in scrubbing his hands through his hair and letting the hot water pound on the tight muscles on his back for longer than he’d like to admit. Someone he’d carried down five flights of stairs had once told him that he carried too much tension in his shoulders, like he was carrying a bunch of burdens and shit that he needed to let go. At the time he’d just said it was because his equipment was heavy. Now he’s starting to think that they might have been on to something.

Only problem is that he doesn’t really know what his burdens are or how to let them go so he just keeps ignoring them in hope they’ll sort themselves out.

Turning the water off and wrapping a towel around his waist Luke wipes condensation off the mirror as he grabs another towel to rub over his hair quickly, pushing still damp strands out of his eyes. He can still hear the boys talking faintly in the kitchen and doesn’t have a chance to wonder where Julie might be when he picks up a voice singing from his room. It’s something from a musical he thinks, something that she’s been working on with the kids she teaches for the last few weeks and Luke feels bad for them because how could they possibly compare to her voice?

Luke leans his shoulder against the doorframe, arms crossed on his bare chest as he watches Julie move around the other side of his room, picking through the books and cd’s he has stacked haphazardly on a bookshelf. She has her head tilted a little to the side as she reads the spine of something, shoulders moving up and down as she skips through a verse to hit the chorus again, hips swaying in a pair of his dark jogging bottoms that she’s had to turn up several times at the bottom. He hadn’t realised before that she was wearing his clothes, that she must have relaxed in the bath and then rooted through his drawers to find his softest pants and comfiest looking t-shirt. It must be a newish one, he thinks, because it’s still got sleeves attached and he can’t recognise it from the back. God he kind of loves to see her in his clothes.

The frame of the door starts to dig a little uncomfortably into his shoulder and he hisses a little as he pushes away, grabbing Julie’s attention who looks over her shoulder at him her mouth turning up into an almost coy smile as her eyes track down his body. His eyes brows raise a little as he grins back at her, pushing further away from the door to walk towards her only too falter as she fully turns around and —

Luke sucks in a sharp breath as he finally gets to see the t-shirt she’s wearing. He had forgotten he still had it. Cheap white material that was soft until you washed it once and it turned like paper, but when they’d been sixteen with their only money coming from allowances and busking, it was the best they could afford. He can still remember Reggie spending painstaking hours designing their logo, testing out different versions of the curve and font styles before settling on that one. And then the three of them spent even more hours carefully transferring the logo onto cheap t-shirts.

He hadn’t really thought about those t-shirts for a long time. He didn’t know if the others even still had any left. He didn’t know why he even still had one. The thing hadn’t fit him in years, like the second he’d given up on singing and music the t-shirt had grown too small for him. Or he’d just grown too big for it.

“Are you okay?” Julie asks, and he doesn’t know when she has moved, but suddenly she’s in front of him and Luke is getting a clear, up close view of his old band's shirt on her. 17 year old Luke would be losing his mind at the sight. Actually, 24 year old Luke is kind of losing his mind at the sight.

“Yeah just—” his voice cracks a little and he swallows, trying not to notice the way she’s biting her lip to stop a smile, “Not seen that t-shirt in a long time.”

“Oh?” she hums looking down at her chest, pulling slightly at the hem so she can see the logo a bit better before looking back up at him from beneath her lashes, “Reggie did say you might be a little surprised by it. I can take it off if you want?”

Fuck. He kind of wants to kill his friends for not warning him. Kind of wants to not be thinking about anyone but Julie for the next half an hour at least.

“It looks much better on you then it did on any of us,” he mutters, one hand coming up to lightly trace the lettering across the fabric.

“So you want me to keep it on?”

“Did they say how long dinner would be?” He asks as his fingers move from tracing the letters to up following the curve of her collarbone gently, lips ticking up on one side as she shivers.

“Twenty minutes,” she breathes, arching her neck to give his fingers more skin to explore and letting her breath fan across his lips as her fingers drop to the edge of his towel, using a fingernail to trace his hip bone. He’d want to talk about what he said earlier, to see if she felt the same but there’d be time for talking later.

“Keep the shirt on.”

FOUR

Luke really fucking hates working nights.

It’s a fact Alex is always laughing at him for, because of them all he’s always had the worst sleeping habits, had always been known to be up in the middle of the night doing something else. But that was by choice. This is because he needs money to pay rent and buy food and take Julie on nice dates.

Which is his newest reason for hating working nights.

He misses spending time with Julie. Being on opposite schedules really fucking sucks.

At this point he’d even take just getting to hug her, to watch something crappy on tv and fall asleep together in the same bed.

Logically, Luke knows that Harrison hadn’t been aware of what stage his relationship with Julie was at, but a part of him truly believes she had scheduled his turn of nights just as they’d gotten past that awkward stage of not knowing if they could stay over at each others place and where hitting the stage of leaving a toothbrush and saying ‘I love you’ when they said goodbye. And hello. And just anytime one of them felt like it.

Harrison couldn’t have known, but he’s going to blame her for not getting to see his girlfriend in daylight for the last week anyway. And when he starts to feel bad for blaming Harrison he’ll find a way to blame Danforth instead.

“You’re extra grumpy today,” Alex comments as he stirs something in a pot on the stove, watching the way Luke dumps cream into this coffee and grunting at the way his favourite bowl is still dirty in the sink from yesterday.

“I hate the night shift,” he mutters, giving up on his hunt for cereal and pulling a box of leftover pasta from the fridge instead.

“If you wait five minutes you can have some of this.” Luke doesn’t even have a chance to say anything before Alex is pulling the container away from him and is left with no other choice but to wait.

“Something is smelling good!” Reggie breezes into the kitchen with the air of someone who has been up for hours and is preparing to wind down for the evening. Luke kind of wants to throw something at him for it, and might have tried if he didn’t spot a ball of fur purring away on his shoulder, “What’s going on with Mr McPouty?”

“He’s not seen Julie in a week. I think he’s having withdrawals,” Alex whispers loudly as he spoon what Luke thinks is risotto into a bowl and slides it across to him.

“Can’t say I blame him, we went for coffee yesterday between classes? Man Julie’s so cool! And did you know her dad's this, like, semi famous photographer?” Reggie gushes and it takes everything in Luke not to pout even more at the fact Reggie got to hang out with Julie and he didn’t, “She says hi by the way.”

“Fuck off,” he mutters, flipping Reggie off as he starts laughing and pulling a fork out of the drawer closest to him, it does nothing to dissuade his boys from their laughter and Luke can’t find it in himself to care.

He’s tried and he misses Julie. He’s allowed to be grumpy about it.

“Anyway, you can’t talk to me about being grumpy. Remember when Willie went to that competition thing in San Diego and you didn’t see him for two days?” Luke points his fork at Alex and is rewarded with him having the decency to flush a little at the memory.

“Oh yeah! You lonely baked like, fifty cupcakes!” Reggie grins, snapping his fingers and leans in to whisper to Hotdog, “Two of your parents are lovesick fools. But it’s okay, because Julie and Willie are super cool. I’m sorry I didn’t properly prepare you though, I thought we’d have more time.”

“If I wasn’t so tired I’d take offence at you insinuating we’d never get partners,” Luke grumbles, shoving a fork full of risotto into his mouth and shooting Reggie a half hearted sort of glare.

“Well I’m not tired so I take full offence to it! And stop lying to Hotdog about us!” Alex steps away from the stove, picking up some cooked chicken to toss towards Hotdog, grinning at the way Reggie sputters in protest as she tries to climb his face to catch them.

He knows Alex and Reggie are still bickering around him but he lets it all fade into the background as he eats and thinks about what Reggie had said. Because he wasn’t strictly wrong. Luke's last serious relationship had been at least four years ago and had lasted a month before things had just...fizzled out. And yeah there’d been the occasional girl since, but nothing serious. Nothing like what he felt for Julie.

She made him want to pick up a pen and write again. She made him want to look at old dreams he’d pushed aside out of fear. Which was a kind of terrifying thought in itself. Because Luke hadn’t thought about that dream of standing on a stage and playing music he wrote and making a connection to everyone in a long time. Not since he’d left the hospital after a house fire and the first time he’d tried to sing a month later his throat had felt like it was bleeding. So he’d pushed that dream down and found a new one and had avoided looking at it ever since.

Until Julie.

With her stunning voice and captivating laugh and blinding smile. Until she’d dragged him to a silly open mic night and handed him a guitar and just asked him to back her up.

Luke hadn’t told the boys about it.

That he’d stood on a stage and played while a crowd cheered. He didn’t know what it meant. Wasn’t even sure if it could be classed as progress if he hadn’t actually sang anything. But playing something for someone that wasn’t him was something, right?

He chews thoughtfully at a piece of chicken and looks between Alex and Reggie who have moved on from bickering to discussing weekend plans. Maybe he should tell them, they’d probably have some helpful insight into his problems.

Or they might just call him dumb and point out it’s been seven years and his throat is fine and he’s not had any problems talking since two weeks after leaving the hospital and he’s just been a coward. Damn he needed to get Alex and his stupid logical voice out of his head.

“Dude,” Reggie cuts through his thoughts, frowning at his phone screen, “You’re gonna be late if you don’t get ready soon.”

Luke squints at the screen as Reggie turns it towards him and nearly chokes on the bite food in his mouth as he pushes out of his chair and picking up his bowl as he goes, “Fuck!”

//

Luke slams the door of the fire alarm panel shut as the beeping and sprinklers in the restaurant finally stop and he’s left with a slight ringing in his ear and water soaking into his back. Which is bad. Because it means he’s torn his coat at some point and is going to need to sort that out before their next call. He’s glad he found out on a false alarm rather than while being in a burning building though, better a slightly damp back to being burnt.

“Alarms off, I’m going to do a sweep through,” he holds down the button on his radio and waits for the crackling to die down and Harrisons voice to filter through a confirmation.

False alarms are his least favourite calls, which he knows is bad, but he likes a little action in his night. If he’s going to be stuck on the night shift he at least wants to be doing something more than opening storage closets to check there’s no one trying to wait out a fire.

He hums the theme tune of some 90’s sitcom he can’t remember the name of as he walks down the short corridor between the kitchen and the main dining area, glancing in the men's room and the ladies and pauses a moment too long as he looks in the disabled toilet.

The last time he’d been out for a meal it had been an awful group event that Alex had made them all go to for one of the waiters at his restaurant. The food had all been weirdly sticky and they kept playing a questionable remix of Bless the Broken Road and the biggest bright spot of the whole evening had been when everyone was wandering around talking, Julie had dragged him down a corridor and into a bathroom.

Letting the door shut, Luke lets out a slight groan as he moves away from the corridor and back towards the main entrance. As if he wasn’t missing Julie enough already. He just had to go and remember that evening.

“Place is clear. It looks like a wire got loose but they’ll need to get someone in to check all the detectors. It didn’t seem like the sprinklers were really doing their job in the kitchen,” Luke reports to Harrison once he’s outside and within earshot of her, taking his helmet off and running a hand through his hair as he comes to a stop beside her, glancing towards the crowd of people waiting behind cones and a man arguing with someone in a police uniform. Luke shakes his head at the sight of the man gesturing towards the building and back at himself as he unfastens his coat and shrugs it off his shoulders, “He doesn’t think he’s actually going to be able to reopen tonight does he?”

“Hm? Not our problem,” Harrison says without even looking up from whatever form she’s filling out, though she does lift her pen up and wave it to something over his shoulder, “There’s someone over there looking for you. You’ve got 15 before we’ll be ready to leave.”

With a frown Luke looks over his shoulder, but can’t see anyone that he knows and it’s as he turns back to tell Harrison that when she taps him on the ear with her pen and Luke gets the hint. He leaves his helmet and coat with her and is halfway to the taped line when he spots a face in the crowd that makes a smile split across his face.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, not even attempting to keep the widening smile off his face as he jogs to a stop beside the tape line where Julie is standing with an arm linked through Flynns.

“Well we were trying to have a nice dinner,” Flynn mutters, and Luke catches the way she wrinkles her nose as he pulls away after leaning over to kiss Julie quickly, but there’s a slight smile on her lips too. Which is always nice to see because winning over Flynn had felt like the biggest test of his life and some days he still wasn’t entirely sure if she liked him or not.

“Just karma for trying to eat anywhere that’s not Alex’s place,” he rocks back on his heels and crosses his arms over his chest, letting the thumb on his right hand hook under the suspenders and dragging it a little across his chest.

“I don’t want him to think that I’m interested in being his friend because he can get me a table at the last minute,” Julie says, a small furrow appearing between her brows and Luke can’t help but shake his head with a laugh.

“Trust me, Alex’s first rule of friendship is don’t eat at crappy places that don’t get their fire alarms checked regularly.”

“That sounds more like your rule,” Flynn points out and she’s raising an eyebrow as she looks at him in a way that sends him back to being fifteen and put on the spot in a maths class.

Before Luke can formulate a reply Julie is shaking her head at her friend with a laugh and Luke’s eyes are drawn back to her, “No. Luke’s first rule of friendship is that you need to be able to name at least one band or artist from the 80’s. Quickly followed by knowing where all your fire exits are.”

“Just like to make sure people know the classic,” he shrugs, lips curving into a smile as realises just how well Julie knows him, and how much she remembers from their first date too.

“Ugh. You two are annoyingly cute,” Flynn mutters which is only when Luke notices that Julie’s been smiling back at him. But he can’t find it in himself to care how annoyingly cute they might look, he’s not seen her in a week and has to go back to work in less than five minutes. He’s gonna stare at her like the lovesick fool his friends accuse him of being.

//

A yawn creeps up his throat as he balls up his t-shirt and throws it into his bag, rolling out his neck as he reaches for the navy hoodie from inside his locker, foregoing another t-shirt in order to speed up the process of getting home and going straight to bed. He has plans to sleep for the next forty-two hours and only answer his phone for Julie, or his mom if she rings more then twice.

Heaving a breath he slips his hands through the arms of his hoodie and has it half lifted up to his head when a shiver runs up his back as someone traces a spiral pattern up his bare back.

“Hi,” a voice whispers behind him and Luke feels a sudden spike of energy at the sound of her voice. Enough to slip his arms the rest of the way into his hoodie and pull it over his head, he can feel Julie tugging at the hem at his neck, pulling it down to the waistband on his jeans and he tries not to be sad at the lack of her touch.

“Hey,” he finally replies as he turns around, eyes sweeping across her face and the casual leggings and too big band shirt that he’s pretty sure is his that she’s wearing, “You’re up early.”

“Mhm,” she smiles up at him, and it’s sweet and simple and lights up Lukes life in more ways than he’ll ever be able to express to her in words. “Thought I’d come pick you up. See if you maybe wanted to grab a little breakfast before you vanish into your bed.”

If it was anyone else asking him, Luke is pretty sure he’d give them a flat out no and grumble about people being too cheery in the morning. But it’s been five months and he loves her and he’s not been able to say no yet. He’s not sure he’ll ever be able to say no to her. Luke blinks as that thought settles within him.

Spending his life being unable to say no to Julie. He really likes the sound of that.

Completely unaware of the sudden life epiphany he’s experienced, Julie has zipped up his bag and is holding it, eyebrow raised as she looks at him. Waits for him. And Luke pushes all thoughts so the future aside for now, he’ll deal with them later and focuses on the now. On how easily Julie slips her hand into his when he offers it to her, how simple it feels to tug her a little closer and drop a kiss to her forehead before they leave the locker room.

“So you're gonna buy me pancakes, right?” He asks as he waves at one of the engine drivers already busy readjusting his seat for the day.

“I’ll even treat you to an extra topping,” she teases and Luke wrinkles his nose at her even as a smile pulls at his lips.

FIVE

“Hey so uh, I have to ask you something,” Luke started, eyes following the hands of the paramedic as they checked her over for any injuries. But, much like all the previous times, Julie seemed perfectly fine. Which was part of his problem. Or not problem. But his concerns. Because this was the fifth fire his station had been called out to that Julie had been at the scene for. And yeah okay maybe asking her while she was sitting on the sidewalk after running out a burning building wasn’t his best move but he’d been holding off on asking for a while and it just sorta slipped out.

“Are you—”

“You’re all good here, just keep with that oxygen for a little longer for me and then we’ll clear you to go,” the paramedic says, giving her arm a single pat before nodding to him and walking away.

“Julie, are you an arsonist!?” He blurts the question out before he can stop himself, and he watches with mounting embarrassment as Julie removes the oxygen mask from her face — slight indents in her cheeks that he’d want to smooth away if he hadn’t just accused her of a crime — and eyebrows halfway to her hairline.

“Excuse me?” she rasps and Luke winces from the hurt look in her eyes.

“I just—” he starts, waving his arms around them to try and encompass where they are. The store that’s still on fire, the firefighters still trying to get it under control, the people being treated for minor burns and smoke inhalation. “This is like the fifth time you’ve been at a fire! And I love you, you know I love you but I just gotta know if I should be covering for you or something here!”

For a moment Julie doesn’t say anything, just stares at him with her wide brown eyes and lips slightly parted and a little smudge of dirt across her chin. And then she laughs, throwing her head back against his shoulder and eyes shut tight as her body shakes with the force of it. Which does nothing to calm Luke’s fraying nerves about dating an arsonist, but does a lot to make him want to smile at the sight of her joy. Even if it’s maybe tinged with a little insanity.

“You’d really cover for me if I was an arsonist?” She asks after she calms her laughter and regains her breath.

“I mean...yeah,” he shrugs, rubbing one hand at the back of his neck as he smiles at her, a little sheepishly as he tries his best not to dislodge her head from where it’s resting.

“Luke, you’re very sweet and I love you too,” she reaches out a hand and wiggles her fingers at him and Luke barely even hesitates before he’s putting his hand in hers, fingers interlocking and rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand as he waits for her to carry on, “But I promise, I’m not an arsonist. I just seem to have really bad luck when it comes to places with faulty wiring.”

He’s silent for a moment as he lets her words register in his mind. Not an arsonist. Just bad luck. God, he’s so dumb.

“And!” she continues, sitting up straight again and poking a finger of her free hand into his cheek and snatching it away quickly before he has a chance to bite it, “You’re not even on duty today! I wouldn’t have even been in that store if you hadn’t been running late because you had to help Reggie with something.”

“Ah so it’s Reggie’s fault then,” Luke agrees and is rewarded by Julie huffing a laugh as she drops her head back to his shoulder, her hair tickling his cheek as he rests it against the top of her head. He gently reaches over to reattach the oxygen mask to her face as they sink back into a comfortable silence.

Luke thinks back to an hour ago, when he’d been hovering over Reggie’s shoulder and trying to help him work out the issue with a song he was helping to produce. He thinks about the look of shock and then excitement that had taken over his best friend's face at the sight of him scratching out a rough arrangement on his notes. How it had been the first time outside of drunken nights — and a dark crappy bar’s creaky stage for an open mic night — that he’d played anything on his guitar for someone.

When Luke had sworn off music, out of what he can now recognise as fear, he’d never really stopped to think what it meant for the people around him. At the time, he’d thought his mom was just still trying to keep the peace whenever she’d asked why he didn’t play anymore, had thought Alex and Reggie were happy for an excuse to not follow him on his quest for connections with the world, had thought that maybe music wasn’t for him.

He had never thought maybe they missed him playing as much as he had loved it.

And then he’d met Julie and that part of his brain that he’d shut off had exploded with lyrics and melodies and chords he hadn’t thought about in years. He still hadn’t sung, still wasn’t sure if he could, but Luke was starting to think maybe not being able to sing was okay if he could grab his guitar and finally express his feelings through music again. Some of them at least, he turns his head a little to press a kiss into Julie’s hair before resting his cheek back in the same spot.

“I’m sorry I was late,” he whispers, “And that I accused you of being an arsonist.”

“I’ll forgive you,” she mutters, the sound a little lost by the mask but he doesn’t miss the way her lips are pulled up into a smile, “If you buy me pancakes.”

//

“Okay what about this one?” Luke asks as he holds up a vinyl, The Bangles staring out at them from under their big hair and questionable bangs of the Manic Monday era.

“I’m trying to find some music from this century,” Julie rolls her eyes at him as she pushes his hand down and Luke pouts at her, which only earns him another eye roll.

“But you’re going to need some of the old classics too! You did say you lost most of your music in the fire,” he points out, slipping the vinyl into the small growing collection under his arm with a sweet smile at her. If she’d wanted someone to suggest modern music she had to have known he was the wrong person to bring shopping.

“You know there’s this thing called spotify? It’s amazing, it has like, all the music you could possibly want on it,” she teases as she leans in a little and Luke can’t help but do the same, wrinkling his nose as he pretends to look lost.

“Never heard of it, guess you’ll just have to come home with me later and show me how to use it,” his eyes glance down at her lips before slowly trailing back up to her eyes in time to see her rolling them again, though he also notices the slight flush to her cheeks and grins.

“Only if you help me find the records on my list,” she whispers, and for a moment Luke thinks she’ll close the distance between them and press her lips to his and is so distracted with the thought that he misses the way her hand comes up to push at his chest, sending him rocking back on his heels and Julie sliding past him.

“Tease,” he mumbles and Julie laughs from behind him, already moving through the rows and looking for things on her list. Things she lost in the fire, things she’s just always been on the lookout for. And Luke here’s to try and help her find them. But he’s also here for an ulterior motive and uses Julie’s distraction of looking through the r&b to head towards the other side of the store where he knows they keep the unsorted second hand stuff.

He’d started his hunt a few months ago, stopping by various music stores and second hand places to look around and ask the staff to let him know when they get a new stock of vinyls or tapes. So far he’d not had much luck. But he was feeling confident about today. He’d played music for Reg and Julie wasn’t an arsonist and Willie was ‘stealing’ them some of his uncles cheesecake for tonight. So today was the day he was going to find it. And it would be the best housewarming gift for when Julie moved into her new place next month.

And he really hopes he can find it because his back up plan is a plant of some kind and that just feels too cliche.

He shifts through copies of The Beatles and The 1975 and a shocking number of The Zombies which is something he’ll be thinking about later. He’s down to the last few vinyls in the crate and close to heaving a sigh when he flips back the second to last one and grins. Purple petals falling onto the upturned faces of four women who are smirking up at their band name on a dark blue background. Pulling it out, Luke flips it over and skims the five songs on the back and bites his lip as he examines the small signs of wear and tear on the edges but otherwise seems fine. Almost perfect condition.

He just knew today was a good day!

“Luke!” Julie’s voice startles him out of his thoughts and he only just has enough time to slide the record between two others in his hands before she spots it as she runs up to his, fingers wrapping around his forearm as she tugs at him, “They have a photo booth! Come take some photos with me. Please?”

She looks up at him with wide eyes and everyone always tells him he has the best puppy dog eyes they’ve seen, but Luke thinks that’s just because they’ve never seen Julie’s. Not that she needs them. He’d say yes to anything she wanted. Which she knows.

“Only if we take the most cliche ones possible,” he lets himself be pulled towards the back of the store where an old fashioned photo booth with a red crushed velvet curtain is nestled between stacks of crates and t-shirts on a railing. Putting the records down on the edge of one of the crates Luke digs some change out of his pocket while Julie slides onto the bench, leaving a space for him to join her.

Her hair brushes against his shoulder as she leans forward to read the faded instructions and Luke hands her a couple of dollar bills before she can even reach for her own purse. There’s a whirring sound after she feeds them into the machine and the screen flickers a few times before a countdown starts and Julie lets out a gasp as he wraps an arm around her shoulders to pull her back just in time for the first flash.

“Oh fuck,” she laughs and flings her arms around his neck, smooching their cheeks together and now Luke’s laughing, their reflections showing two people a mess of hair and half closed eyes. By the third flash Luke has his face buried in her curls as his shoulders shake with laughter while Julie tells him to get it together between her own giggles.

“Shall we try that again?” He asks after the last flash and the whirring has stopped and they’ve managed to calm their laughter down.

“I didn’t think it would be that quick!” Julie shakes her head, but fishes some more money out of her bag, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she sits up, “Okay. We need a plan this time around. Money in. A nice smiling one, a funny face, kiss on the cheek, classic peace sign. Got it?”

Julie waits for him to nod before leaning to put money in the machine again, and Luke honestly has every intention of following her plan. Smile, funny face, kiss on the cheek, peace. Cliche, just like he’d wanted. But as the countdown starts and Julie sits back, shoulder brushing against his as she smiles, he can’t help but turn to smile at her. At the way she’s tucked some curls behind her ear so he can see the butterfly earrings and the little stars that trail up from her seconds to her helix, at the collection of necklaces glinting at her throat, the chain of one resting below the pulse point on her neck that he knows makes her moan when he presses his lips against, the way her lips stretch into a smile that he knows if she was facing him he’d be able to see the little gap between her teeth.

A flash goes off and Luke licks his lips, mouth ticking up a little at the side as she turns to look at him with her eyebrows raised, “You were meant to be smiling.”

“I was,” he defends and proves his point by grinning at her, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he tries to keep it in check.

“You’re not following the plan.” But she doesn’t seem to be too annoyed, even as the second flash lights up the booth and Luke knows they only have a few seconds before the third one goes off so he takes his chance and leans forward to capture her lips before she can say anything else.

They miss the third flash, and the forth.

When they leave the booth a few minutes later his hair is sticking up and his lips are a little swollen and Julie has to spend a few seconds readjusting her crop top so it’s no longer riding up. If the guy at the front counter had noticed them giggling or being in the booth for too long he doesn’t show it and Luke’s not about to push his luck.

“See, told you I was smiling,” he mutters as he looks over her shoulder to look at the two strips of photos in her hands, at the blurry giggling messes that they are in the first one and the heart-eyed cliche couple they are in the second. He’s starting to get what Alex, Reggie and Flynn mean about the way they look at each other.

“I’m going to go pay for these then we can go check out that place with the lamp you liked,” he says, pressing a kiss into her temple and reaching around her to pick up the records and gently pulls the second photo strip from her fingers, dropping her a wink as she turns to pout at him, “I’m going to put this one in my locker at work. They’re starting to run low on stuff to tease me about.”

Julie’s laugh follows him as he makes his way up to the counter where the guy doesn’t even blink at his messed up hair or the bruise he’s pretty sure is starting to show up on his collarbone given how tender it feels as he brushes past it to scratch his neck. Which is another thing for his friends to tease him about.

Luke grins at the strip of glossy photos in his hand. So worth it.

+ONE

As he waits for the shower water to heat up a little Luke taps out a quick reply to Julie promising he’ll be at her new place by two to help her move boxes and unpack. Which is all very exciting. He’d personally been round to check all the fire detectors and the wiring were up to code, and should anything happen, her new apartment was in his station's district so he’d be on the scene to help.

Apparently even Ray found that reassuring, and Luke was trying to not let that go to his head. His girlfriend's dad likes him. He thinks that’s pretty cool. Of course Ray had also taken up texting Reggie a lot which was a little weird but it was fine. He had bonus points of saving both his kids from fires.

Locking his phone he puts it on the counter, bobbing his head as a song from a tiktok plays in his head as he moves back over to the shower and stepping into the hot water.

He doesn’t really know what happens next.

One minute he’s lathering shampoo into his hair, head swaying from side to side and hips rocking in a circular motion as he hums along with the song in his head.

And then his mouth is opening and he’s singing.

“We're stuck where we are, with no house, no car. Castaways, ahoy, we are castaways,” his voice tails off as he starts humming again as he sticks his head under the shower stream to start rinsing off the shampoo. Only he only gets as far as leaning a little forward before he realises what’s just happened.

“Holy shit!” he sputters, stumbling a step backwards and wiping water out of his eyes only to wince and swear again as he rubs shampoo into them. Fumbling, he reaches for the face cloth he knows is somewhere nearby and wipes at his eyes again, blinking and heart racing.

For a moment the only thing he can hear is the water hitting tiles and his heart racing in his chest and that damn song still playing on a loop in his head. Swallowing, Luke sucks in a breath and tests his voice out again. He hasn’t sung anything in seven years but he can still remember the lyrics to Now or Never like he’d written them yesterday and as he pushes himself off the wall his fingers absentmindedly start picking out the chords as the words breeze out of him.

Like they’d just been waiting on the tip of his tongue all this time. And fuck, he really does feel like he’s been hit with an electric hammer to the heart with how fast his is beating right now.

He knows exactly what happens next. He acts on instinct. And instinct tells him he has to tell someone else.

Not stopping to turn the water off, or even grab a towel, Luke jumps out of the shower, fingers scrambling with the lock on the door before he can jank it open and then he’s running down the corridor, bare feet slipping on wood.

“Boys!” He shouts, skidding to a stop in the doorway of the living room, chest still heaving as he bends over a little to catch his breath. Pushing wet — and still soapy — hair out of his face, Luke turns a wide grin at the three pairs of wide eyes watching him from the sofa. He hadn’t known Willie was here. But that’s fine. Willie’s practically family, they’re all just waiting for one of them to propose at this point.

“Uh Luke—” Reggie starts, eyes firmly on his face even as his hand waves in the general direction of his legs, but Luke doesn’t have time to worry about dripping water on the floor right now.

“Boys. I sang again.” It’s a statement. A sentence that wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else. That wouldn't be a big deal or cause for celebration.

But Alex and Reggie had been there after the fire, after the doctors had told him to rest his voice, after he’d tried once and refused to do it since. It had been Alex and Reggie who he’d blown up at one day after school at 17 when they’d suggested going out for the school talent show as an attempt to help him. It was Alex and Reggie who have been with him every song-less day since.

So they get it.

“Holy shit,” Alex whispers, standing up from the couch at the same moment that Reggie vaults over it, both of them grinning just as wide as Luke is sure he is.

“And your voice, it was…” Reggie trails off, but his eyebrows wiggle and Luke gets the point.

“I don’t want to brag but I think a seven year vocal rest might have possibly made me sound better,” he shrugs one shoulder, but the calm, cool and casual air he’s trying to project is totally ruined by the way he’s practically bouncing in place. He feels jittery, his fingers itching for strings, mind racing with years worth of lyrics he’s suppressed.

“We told you!” Alex slaps his hand on his bicep, only to cringe as he wipes his now wet hand on his jeans.

“Dude you are so naked right now,” Willie laughs from his place on the couch, and Luke can’t help it, he drops one eye in a wink and dodges out of the way of Alex’s fist, which only makes Willie laugh more, “Happy for you though man. On the singing again. Does this mean the band is back together?”

The three of them look at each other, eyebrows raised and smiles stretched and Luke doesn’t know. But he does know that something has shifted back into place inside him. Like he’d been walking around a little off balance, not enough to really notice it until he’d been righted.

“How about we discuss future band plans when you’ve washed the shampoo out of your hair,” Reggie suggests, and Luke’s not self conscious about being naked in their living room, but he is starting to feel a little cold.

“Good plan. And then I need to get to Jules’ to help move furniture,” he points once at Reggie, and then at Alex as he starts walking backwards down the corridor, “And then we can get this band back together.”

The bathroom has filled with steam by the time he gets back, and the water is a little too hot, but Luke doesn’t care as he jumps back under the stream and finally washes the shampoo from his hair as he sings through Now or Never twice.

//

The second he steps through the door Luke knocks into a bed frame and only just manages to catch it before it topples on to him, raising an eyebrow at Julie who’s grimacing at him from the other side, “I say we move the bed first.”

Her eyebrows shoot up and she rests one hand on her hip, “Oh?”

“Not for— I just meant before it knocks someone out! Not for that,” his eyes trail down her body, at the denim shorts and plain purple t-shirt she’s tied up to making to a crop top that expose just a little of her skin, and he can’t help but grin, “Not yet at least.”

“You grab that end? And try not to drag it on the floor, I don’t want to scratch them,” she says, hands wrapping around one side of the frame and tilting her head at him until he follows suit. There’s a lot of awkward pulling and lifting and bumping into stacks of boxes with Julie’s neat writing scrawled along the sides. Then they spend a solid few minutes struggling to fit the thing through her bedroom doorway until they do some pivoting and silly impressions of Ross from friends that does little to help but make them laugh.

“Okay, okay,” Luke pants, resting against the wardrobe that’s already in the room and looking around, “I’ve lifted weights in the gym that were easier to move then that thing.”

“My tia says a sturdy bed frame is always a must have,” Julie grins at him from where she’s sat on the floor, with her legs outstretched and Luke wrinkles his nose at her before pushing away from the wardrobe to offer her a hand up.

“Come on, let's get the rest of your boxes into the correct rooms and we can test out this sturdy bed frame your tia recommended,” he pauses after pulling her up, the lack of distance between them meaning he has to look down at her as his brows pull together in a frown, “Wait that sounded weirder than I meant.”

“Just a little,” she agrees, nose wrinkling and reaching up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck and kisses him. It’s soft and quick, like they’ll have forever for something more. And then she pulls away, hands sliding down his shoulders to his biceps, “Can you move the boxes for the kitchen and I’ll get the ones for the bathroom?”

//

It’s a few hours later when all the boxes that had been stacked by the front door are spread out in the correct rooms and they’re sitting surrounded by pieces of wood and nails that are supposed to make an ikea table.

What Luke is learning from it is that Julie is not very good at flat pack furniture.

“It says the weird squiggly one goes into the inside holes at the bottom! But I can’t find any holes and the weird squiggly things won't turn!” she whines, jabbing the screwdriver in the direction of the half built table and waving the instructions at him like he’s personally written them.

“Well uh might help if you turn it the other way around,” he suggests, fingers wrapping around one of the legs and rotating it so the side that had been facing him and is now facing Julie and she can see the holes she was missing. The flush in her cheeks darkens a little as her mouth opens to form a silent ‘oh’ and Luke grins, stretching an arm out to pry to the screwdriver from her fingers. “How about we take a break from building furniture, have some lunch? I’m no Alex but I know how to fry an egg and bacon.”

Julie heaves a sigh, head falling into her hands and then pushing her hair out of her face as she looks back up at him with a tired smile, “I can go and grab us some coffees?”

“Sounds like a plan,” he smiles at her, pushing up onto his knees and kissing her cheek before pushing up further on to his feet with a groan and then offering Julie a hand up too.

“Try not to burn my new apartment down while I’m gone,” she taps her fingers against this chest and then picks up her phone and moves towards the front door to find her shoes.

“Think you’ll find you’re the arsonist in this relationship,” he calls after her, grinning as she laughs into the kiss that she blows to him before shutting the door. And then he’s in her apartment by himself. The place still feels a little empty and cold, with the only furniture in place being the sofa her dad and brother had helped carry up earlier and the bookcase against the wall that connects to the second bedroom. But Luke had caught a glimpse of her old apartment, and had seen her room at her dad's house and knew that while Julie might not be good at putting furniture together she was really amazing at decorating a space and making it feel like home.

After rooting through one box to find a frying pan and a second to find a spatula, Luke grabs eggs and bacon and glances at the spinach that’s part of Victoria’s welcome package before ignoring it and turning back to the stove. He’s pretty sure she’s got a speaker or a radio in one of these boxes somewhere, but he doesn’t want to go rooting through her things. Not that he needs to, because he can make his own background music now and it’ll probably be better then anything on the radio too.

Idly, as he cracks open an egg, Luke wonders if maybe he’s a little too cocky inside his own head for someone who hasn’t sung a note in seven years but well, he’s never been known as the humble one in his friend group.

“You can't start a fire, you can't start a fire without a spark,” he sings, hips swaying as he pokes at the eggs, “This gun's for hire, even if we're just dancin' in the dark,” he mumbles through the next sentence as he flips a piece of bacon before throwing himself back into the song in full force, “Radio's on and I'm movin' 'round my place. I check my look in the mirror,” he sucks in a breath and raises the spatula up to his mouth like a makeshift microphone and scrunches his eyes shut as he almost growls the last sentence, “Wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face!”

“Oh.”

If he hadn’t been gasping for a breath he might not have heard her. Because he certainly hadn’t heard her come back in, but as lowers his spatula and spins around he comes face to face with Julie clutching a tray of drinks and staring at him wide eyed.

“Uh, hi,” and, for some reason, he waves at her with the spatula while his other hand rubs at the back of his neck with a sheepish smile, “Sorry I uh, didn’t hear—”

“When did you start singing again?” She blurts out before he can finish his sentence and right. He hadn’t told her. He’d nearly gotten squished by a bed frame and forgotten about his news.

“Um like, six hours ago?” He shrugs, finally putting the spatula down and taking a step towards her, suddenly nervous in a way he hasn’t been since their first date.

“That was— you’re—” she trails off, eyes trailing over his face with something that looks like awe, but Luke doesn’t understand why. Shit maybe time has fucked with his brain and he actually sounds shit? Oh god is she going to break up with him for being a terrible singer?

“Fuck Luke, you never said you could sing!”

“Yes I did,” he frowns at her, “I said it on our first date that I used to sing and then I stopped because of a fire!”

“Yeah but I didn’t know you could sing like...that!” She shakes her head slightly, her smile widening as she puts the drinks down on the counter and closes the gap between them, arms reaching up to circle around his neck and Luke’s hands automatically rest on her waist, fingers brushing against the strip of skin above the waistband of her shorts and below her top.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asks.

“Nearly got hit by a bed frame,” he shrugs and flexes his fingers against her waist when she giggles.

“This is big,” she breaths, and her smile softens a little and Luke’s eyes dip to her lips before going back to her eyes, “This is big, right? Because you sounded pretty amazing just now. And it really fucking hot too, but if this isn’t an exciting thing I can—”

“No this...it’s big and it’s exciting,” it’s his turn to cut her off with a shake of his head, and his fingers trail down her ass and trace the edge of the top of her back pocket before sliding in and squeezing, Julie rocks forward, mouth opening to say something but Luke takes his chance to put his lips against hers and find her tongue.

She moans into his mouth and Luke walks them backwards until the hand that’s on her waist hits the counter. He lowers his hand to tap her thigh, and without breaking apart she lifts her leg up to his hip and he hoists her up the rest of the way until he can balance her on the edge of the counter and get better leverage. Julie pulls away first, her breathing heavy and Luke smirks at her before trailing his lips up her jaw and down her throat, paying extra special attention to her pulse point on his way down.

“You really found me singing hot?” he whispers as he sucks at a spot just above her collarbone, nipping at her skin when she only moans instead of answers.

“You already know you're hot,” she groans, fingers in his hair and tugging gently until he gives in and lets her tug his head away from his attack at her collarbone and can reattach her lips to his. And Luke’s not about to complain about that either. Kissing Julie in any way is one of his favourite things. He pulls away first this time, pulling his hand free of her pocket and wrapping it around her thigh to push her further onto the counter. Her whine of protest at the lack of contact pulls a grin from his lips as he leans forward to kiss her again quickly, once, twice, and then runs his hands down her legs slowly as he pulls away again, head lowering back to the dip between her clavicle.

“Fire,” she whispers, and Luke grins against her skin because yeah, he kinda feels like he’s on fire right now too. Julie runs her fingers through his hair again, nails scratching at his scalp, “Luke. Fire.”

“I know, Jules, me too,” he mutters against her, lips moving up the other side of her collarbone and half wondering if she’d mind if he ripped her t-shirt and — “Ow!”

He pulls away sharply, eyes widening as he looks at her while one hand goes to his head to rub at the spot where she’d pulled at his hair too hard, “What was that for?”

“Fire!” Julie shouts and points over his shoulder. Where the stove is. Where Luke had been cooking before getting distracted. Where a small grease fire is now raging in the pan with eggs and bacon for fuel.

“Fuck,” he hisses, dropping his grip on Julie’s leg to lunge for the box of kitchen equipment to pull out a metal baking tray before turning back to the fire and slamming the tray on top, wincing at the heat but pushing through to turn the stove top off and push the pan to the back.

Hands on his hips, Luke blows out a breath and is about to ask if Julie is okay when he hears her burst out into laughter. Eyebrows raised, he turns to see her still on the counter top, fingers gripping the edge as her legs swing back and forth and she leans forward, “I thought I told you not to burn down my apartment?”

“Guess I’ll just have to find a way to make it up to you,” he chuckles and, checking the pan isn’t about to burst into flames again, turns his attention back to what he was doing with a little more attention to detail then before.

//

“I got you a gift,” he whispers much later after the sun has set and they’d ordered pizza and given up on building furniture to pile blankets and pillows on the floor of her living room to stretch out on. Julie turns her head from where it’s resting against his chest to look at him, eyebrows raised and a small smile playing on her lips.

“You got me a gift?” she repeats, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know but…,” Luke shrugs and gently dislodges her head so he can reach over to grab his boxers and slip them back on before getting up and padding across the apartment towards the front door to retrieve the wrapped box he’d left there earlier. By the time he’s padding back to their nest of blankets Julie is sitting cross legged and pulling her hair out of the neck of his t-shirt.

“It’s uh,” he rubs at the back of his neck as he sits back down, mirroring her position and carefully setting the box between them, it’s dark green paper rustling a little as Julie traces a finger down one edge, “Well you’ll see. And if you don’t like it or— or if it’s too much then that’s fine. I can uh I can take it back or something. But I just, you said it was important to you.”

There’s a quizzical sort of look on her face, brows furrowed and lips pursed as she pulls the box closer and finds the edge of the paper to unwrap it. Luke watches her face carefully as she pulls the paper free and then slowly lifts the lid off the box to see the record nestled in purple tissue paper underneath. Her hand freezes with the lid half in the air, and her lips part and fuck there’s tears in her eyes. He gives her a moment before tilting his head to try and catch her eyes, but they’re tracing over the cover art.

“Jules,” he whispers, though he doesn’t know what he’s going to say, if he should be apologising or comforting or what. “Is it too much?”

Julie blinks and Luke watches as a tear glides down her cheek and he aches to reach over and catch it but she’s closing her eyes, head shaking as a watery laugh bubbles past her lips.

“Where on earth did you find this?” She finally asks, turning eyes of unshed tears at him but she’s smiling so he’s going to guess happy tears.

“Remember that place with the photo booth?” He asks and shrugs when she nods, “I asked a bunch of people to let me know if they got any second hand vinyls in and well, just got lucky that day.”

“Dad looked everywhere to try and find another copy after the fire,” she whispers, and Luke sees her fingers shaking a little as she reaches out to trace the letters of Rose and the Petal Pushers on the cover before looking back up at him, “You’re— Thank you. This is...this is amazing Luke.”

“Good thing we dug your record player out, huh?” He nudges her knee with his own and nods towards the only table they managed to complete, where her TV and record player are set up and Julie wipes at her cheeks before reaching into the box and carefully pulling her mom's record out, holding it like it’s the most precious thing in her life. Which, he supposes it kind of is.

Julie pads across the room to put the record on the machine and set the needle and Luke watches her and thinks. He thinks about music and how it has always been such a large part of his life even when he couldn’t play it, couldn’t sing. How he’d once dreamt of filling his days like this, listening to songs sung by people who understood just how amazing music was. He thinks about how he’d given up on that dream and found a new one, but how he’d ended up back here anyway.

Luke thinks, as Julie sits down next to him, her arm wrapping around his waist, as his goes around her shoulders to pull her closer, his fingers making idle circles on her shoulder through the arm holes of his top, that maybe he was always going to end up here. With Julie in his arms and music playing around them.

He thinks maybe he has a couple of fires to thank for it too.

Luke's fingers are idly playing with one of Julie's curls as the her moms voice echoes around the apartment, drums fading into the background as a piano plays them out of the song and Luke's thinking about how much she sounds likes her, and how incredibly she'd sound singing this song when it hits him. It's sudden and harsh, like a hammer has just landed on his gut and he lurches forward pushing Julie up with him as she looks at him with wide eyes. 

"What? What's wrong?" Her hands hover in the air around his chest, like she's afraid she might hurt him by touching him. 

"The first song I sang after seven years was the stupid fucking Castaways song that people keep using on tiktoks," he whines, head falling into his hands and Julie's attempts at comforting him by rubbing at his shoulder is lost in the way her laugh replaces the music, both in her apartment and in his head.

[savnofilter]

Kinktober Day 5

k. eijiro

☠️ warning(s):  𝕡𝕖𝕥 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪, spanking, pet names, subtle dom/sub, mild degradation, mild praise kink, mentions of sex work.

☠️ genre: smut, holiday special.

☠️ words: 1.8k [7 minutes, 15 seconds].

☠️ read more: kinktober(uary) 

☠️ summary: since you were always his favorite customer, kirishima always knew how to treat you right.

“Well that’s no good, you’ve let some of my cum spill.” Kirishima frowns at the sight, looking between your spread legs and observing the said substance leaking from the aforementioned spot. “Have you been a bad kitten?” He asks with a small pout, his eyes giving you a look short of mock-disappointment. “Use your words.”

“Y-Yes, Kirishima-sama.” You address him by his title. Even with how much you tried to feign innocence, it wasn’t enough for him.

He sighs as he shakes his head, sitting up as he pats his lap for you to get on it. You outwardly pouted as you knew where he was going, pinning yourself up into his lap and hanging your head as you try to prepare yourself for his punishment. His hands ran over your untouched skin, relishing in the nice feeling of your rump under him. He spread your cheeks to watch what was hidden between it, holding in his hum of delight at the sight of his cum that stuffed both of your holes. He could feel his boner start to arise again, not hiding to cover it up or stop it from poking your side.

“Count.” Kirishima’s hand swung back before giving it a harsh slap, the sound of his rough hand hitting your skin. You swallowed as you tried to keep yourself from letting out any noise, your breath getting light.

“O-One.” As soon as the words left your mouth, his hand met with the fat of your cheek again. “Two.” He rubs your skin to give you a bit of a break, his thumbs admiring as your cheek starts to radiate a warm heat to heal the pain of his spanks. He muttered small praises to you as you managed to not resist his punishment, his hand moving between your legs and rubbing your slickened cunt. His heart skipped a beat at the feeling. Although you were only one of his customers, he couldn’t help but enjoy himself each time you came and paid him to take care of your needs.

He didn’t say anything as he inserted his middle finger into your cunt, feeling at how hot you were. He pumped his finger into you a few times before pulling it out and examining his now wet fingers. Kirishima wasted no time in using the same hand to spank your cheeks once again, your wanton and needy voice following along with it.

“Eight…. N-N…!” You tried to keep up, your hands clenching as the pain was getting to you but you couldn’t deny the hot pleasure that came with it. His hand came up to pull your hair back, giving you another one as you couldn’t finish the second to last current number of spanks he gave you. “Nine!” Your eyes bead with pleasure. You had no choice but to whimper the double-digit that followed after it, moaning as the humiliation of it all poked at your clit.

“You’re a little slut, aren’t you? Enjoying when your owner punishes you like this?” Kirishima leans closer to you so his words could resonate better than you. His hand moved to tease your lower lips once again, this time letting out a hum of approval at the wetness sinking in two fingers. He took great joy as your jaw dropped, your back arching as your hips begged for him to play with you more. His fingers moved in a rhythm that he deemed you earned, his fingers curled enough to massage your walls. Kirishima held great pride in the disobedience. He wasn’t shy in finding the spot to make you cringe in pleasure, abusing it as you tried hard not to squirm in his hold. It almost felt like he was going to grant you the reward of letting you cum on his fingers from complying to him until his “nice” nature subsided and he gave you another slap. Your breathing went ragged at the feeling, body shuddering as you tried hard not to give in to your body’s screaming desires. He let go of your hair and giving your scalp and massage, the dopamine from it causing you to almost purr out, making him chuckle.

“My pet…” Kirishima smiled. He pulled away to help you up, standing up so his body easily towers over yours. He held your cheek in his hand, his hand warm from the harsh treatment he gave you before. He gave you a look over as he weighed out his options. He carefully guided you to the velvety bed, the soft texture of it caressing your skin and giving you a small sense of comfort. He got between your legs in his half-naked glory, the way his body was ripped and the miscellaneous tattoos he’s earned over the years is always what he was your favourite when you visited. You sat up as you knew what to do, scooting close enough to shimmy his pants and get him undressed. You gave him a look nothing short but pitiful, your eyes begging to touch and kiss him before he decided to further on his earlier plans.

Your lips were desperate to kiss at his skin, your hands roaming and relishing the feeling of his muscular built under your palms. You looked up at him as you tried to “sway” your way back into his good graces. Although your efforts were much appreciated, it didn’t work. He tusked at your almost pathetic attempts, managing to stop you and lift your head so you could watch up at him. “I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet.” His large hand came up to cup your cheeks in a tight grip, his eyes squinting as he nodded his slowly at you as if to make you incapable of understanding his words for yourself. “Do you agree?” You couldn’t help but mindlessly agree, wanting to feel the heat of your bum on other parts of your body… more specifically-

Your breath got caught in your throat as you felt gravity tug at you. You weren’t prepared for Kirishima to push you back against the mattress, the force of it causing your body to bounce to level out the momentum. Before you could recover from the shocking feeling, he was already on top of you and spreading your legs to allow him to enter. You moaned as he slid his cock into you, the drippage from before helping many as well as the leftover creampie from a little over an hour ago. He brought your legs up, his hands gripping the back of your thighs in a style that expertly folded your body against itself, having no choice but to take his unrelenting thrusts. Naturally, you had to brace yourself, him offering no barrier for you to do so yourself.

Kirishima had no qualms in delivering his thrusts at such a harsh and fast speed, knowing that it would leave you wobbling tonight and have you aching tomorrow. Either you took him like you usually did, wanting to earn his approval once again. To explain how he acted towards you was almost intricate, the unspoken connection you two had when you met but left behind when you were done with your sessions was something one could question. He’s able to hold both your thighs together using the back of your legs, leaning down closer to your body so he could wrap his hand around your throat. He started to squeeze, testing your limit and cussing lowly under his breath when you affirmed it was enough when his hand was just so close to damaging you.

He never knew why or how you liked the pain so much but he never complained. As much as he liked treating you like the princess you were, he also couldn’t help but indulge fully each time you gave an opening to be used, “punished” was the formal term you two used. When you were obedient to follow his orders is when he thanked whoever is up there that someone as deviant as you chose him and only him every time. Just the thought of waiting unironically for you to come back always made his heart race, forbidding in the back of his head that you never would get into a relationship. Hell, let it fucking be him, he’d put a ring on you for-fucking-sure. He fucked you as if you were his, and both of you knew that he did and that’s what drew you in each time.

It was a game of cat and mouse, except the mouse liked to be caught while still being able to run each time. Which always made it… fun. If you looked close enough you wouldn’t be able to miss the longing gazes in both of you, the sexual tension between you two was unmatchable. Each time he fucked you with this much passion and vigor is when he had to remind you you were his. Your hands gripped his arm as your nails dug into his wrist, eyes rolling back as the low circulation of oxygen was starting to get to you, cunt squeezing him as you tried to warn him of the on-cumming orgasm that was about to arrive.

“C-Cum…~!” You choked out against his hand. He loosened his hold just a bit to let the lost blood rush back up to your head and re-circulate throughout your head. The pounding of it didn’t even hurt, the odd pleasure of it making you cum against his expecting length, your cunt happily taking his load as he emptied into you. You could feel his pelvis press up against your ass and tip poke at your cervix, the feeling of semen spilling into your womb was enough to make you tremble. “Eijiro!” You whimper out, head throwing back as he ground into you happily.

The sound of you calling his name made his heart bump, a hot blush coming across cheeks, different from the erotic one from before. He quickly composed himself as he slowly pulled out of you, keeping your thighs together, and watched as your cunt was in the same state it was before you had gotten your punishment. He gave your cheeks another few spanks, squeezing it afterward to feel radiate in heat. He snapped up to look up at you, drinking in the sight of your mouth agape and drool coming from the corner of your mouth and your eyes lidded. Your chest heaved as you came down from your high, eyes almost falling disappointed as you both realize your time is about to come up.

“Stick out your tongue for me.” Kirishima commands, your actions follow after just as you should. His last words are what makes your heart skip a beat, gladly accepting and bracing yourself as you could feel his tip poke at your back hole.

“Let’s not waste our last hour~”

[justmypartner]

Make it Work: Chapter 10

Summary: When offered a permanent position with the FBI, Hailey agrees to take it under one condition: Jay comes too. As their personal lives and work lives begin to change, the two partners find it increasingly difficult to navigate their complex relationship and manage their feelings for one another.

Writer’s Note: The Finale!!! I’m so sad to wrap up this story. This story was the idea that inspired me to start this account and dive into the fandom world as a fic writer, so it’s very special to me. It has been so fun to develop, and I have really enjoyed reading everyone’s reactions and input after each chapter. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading this story and joining me for this journey😭❤️ ...& be on the look out for info about my next multi-chapter which will be out soon!

Tagging: @angelsjedi , @brookerz122493 , @cpdfan2014 , @the–carousel , @maya-asturias , @itsdesiree86 , @tvshowsaremyhappyplace , @stephanie708​

Read on AO3 or below

“So, the FBI and New York, huh?” Trudy questioned, settling into the barstool across from the younger detective and flashing her a curious look. The goodbye party at Molly’s was just finally dying down, and Trudy took advantage of the quiet moment to question her for the first time since finding out she was leaving.

“Yep,” Hailey responded, a sheepish look on her face with the response.

“When did you and Halstead finally… you know, get together or whatever?” Trudy asked, sending a heat directly to Hailey’s cheeks.

“What? No, I mean, no… It’s not like that,” Hailey stammered out, embarrassed by the question.

“Uh huh. Right, because anyone would just give the FBI an ultimatum when offered an elite position, all just to keep their ‘partner’,” the sergeant said sarcastically.

“It’s not like- I mean he’s a great partner. The best one I’ve had in all my time with the CPD. I’m better with him as my partner,” she shrugged before continuing. “When they offered me the job, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse, except there was a part of me that wanted to refuse it. The part of me that was missing him. Without even thinking I just told them I wasn’t going anywhere without him. It was like my mouth was moving before my brain could catch up,” Hailey confessed, immediately grimacing at the soppy words.

“Look, kid. I’ve worked with so many people over the years. I’ve had horrible partners, I’ve had some that left an imprint on me that I’ll never be able to shake, but I’ve only ever had one that I would give up this job for, only one that I would’ve even considered bargaining with the same way you did,” Trudy confessed, a perceptive look on her face. “That partner is my husband.”

Hailey shook her head, a half-frown, half-smile expressed across her face. Just as she was about to respond, Jay came walking up. She watched as he bantered back and forth with the sergeant, smiling, but zoning out as Trudy’s words sunk in with her. She hadn’t fully confronted what she felt for him. She knew she had feelings for him, she just kept them buried, knowing those kind of feelings could ruin the great thing they’d built over the years. But at the same time, she realized doing so could mean missing out on something even better. She snapped back into focus when he asked if she needed a ride. She refused, and he joked a little more with Trudy before saying his goodbye and walking on.

“He’s a good guy. I’ll kinda miss him,” Trudy admitted, turning around briefly after he walked away. Her head snapped back to Hailey quickly. “You tell anyone I said that and I’ll deny it,” she threatened, causing Hailey to let out a throaty laugh.

“Really though, from the outside looking in, what you two have seems to be more than just a partnership,” Trudy told her. Hailey blinked her eyes closed slowly, reluctantly giving in to the sergeant’s attempts to pry the feelings out of her.

“I’ve definitely let my mind wander. You know, he looks at me a certain way and I think what if we were more than partners? What if we took that leap? But I’ve never been good at relationships… I don’t want to ruin the thing we’ve built by trying to turn it into something more,” Hailey divulged, feeling a strange sense of release finally talking about those difficult feelings she had tried to hide for so long.

“I dated this guy once. He was a geologist,” Trudy said, causing Hailey’s eyes to widen and her brows to curve into a question. “Yeah, it didn’t last long. Anyway, he used to use the word watershed a lot. He really loved the double meaning of it. Obviously in geology it represented actual water or whatever, but he also used it to describe things that really impacted his life. Turning points. I never really understood it in that way until I met Randall. Before him, I had already given up on the idea of relationships, then he showed up out of nowhere and suddenly my entire outlook changed. He was my turning point… my watershed guy, and there was nothing I could do to change it. I guess what I’m trying to say is if you think Halstead could be your watershed guy, don’t wait too long to make your move Goldilocks. You’re only tempting fate the longer you push the idea away,” she finished, taking a sip of her drink as she observed Hailey’s reaction to her story.

“I’m going to miss you, Trudy,” Hailey said softly, raising her bottle to clink with her glass as the words resonated with her.

- - - -

The obnoxious beeping of Jay’s alarm woke him, and he groaned as he mustered up the energy to roll over and turn it off. It had been two weeks since the incident, since he confessed his feelings, Walker was suspended, and Hailey told him she needed time. Hailey took those two weeks off, telling Drake she needed to take time to heal, both physically and emotionally. It was time he happily granted after everything that happened.

Within days of Walker’s suspension, an official investigation had opened up concerning his misconduct. With that came several other female agents with stories to tell about the man. Stories very similar to Hailey’s. Nothing official had taken place yet, but things weren’t looking good for him, and the prosecutors all but promised that Hailey and those other women would finally get justice for what he did.

Fortunately, Drake and the rest of the Manhattan office backed each of the victims completely, sending out memos voicing their total and consistent support for anyone that ever needed to come forward with allegations of misconduct. Especially internal misconduct against other agents.

In this office, we protect the badge when necessary, but we also demonstrate accountability when that same badge is being abused. Victims should never be silenced, and victims should never be blamed, especially when they are members of this sacred institution.

This was the line that stuck out to Jay in all of the memos, and he was proud to represent a group of people that were willing to address the issue in such a way. It meant a lot to him that they had Hailey’s back in a way the CPD didn’t, and he hoped it brought her some sense of peace their former department never could.

In those two weeks she took off, Jay and Daisy were partnered up again considering both of their partners were off the job. The dynamics around the office were weird. They hadn’t filled the void left by Walker, and without Hailey there, Jay didn’t feel like himself. The gossip was lighter than he was expecting, something he was grateful for, but he and Daisy both caught lingering stares anytime they were in the office. It was already distracting to not be working with Hailey, and the stares certainly weren’t helping. He was just counting down the days until her return, but in a way it seemed as though the rest of the office was as well. Everyone wanted to gain back some sense of normalcy after everything that went down.

He didn’t see her in all of that time she was off, but they kept in contact through the occasional text. In those texts, they avoided talking about them. It was mostly just him catching her up on work or her catching him up on the Walker case, all very brief and to the point conversations. She told him she needed time, and that was exactly what he was giving her.

At that moment he laid there in bed, it was the weekend, and he was relieved to have it off. They had caught some rough cases throughout the week, and he needed one day that wasn’t filled with horrible people who did horrible things. He also needed something to keep his mind from missing Hailey. Pretty much every time he closed his eyes during those two weeks, he pictured her lips against his, her body tucked into his side, and her light breath against his chest. The memories of that day lingered like phantom touches, and he couldn’t get her off of his mind. He needed a distraction from it all, but he didn’t have any plans for the day. He could have easily stayed in bed longer, but he knew if he did that he would just end up spending the rest of the day there wallowing, wondering when Hailey would be ready to come back to him. So, he forced himself out of the bed and began his day.

Once he was up, showered, and fully caffeinated, he lingered by the window, catching the idea to tour the city as he watched the people walk about the street below. In all of the time they had been in the city, he still hadn’t taken an opportunity to get to know it. It was a clear, warm weather day, so he thought it would be a perfect time to meander the still unfamiliar city. He hoped the unfamiliarity would force his mind to think about something other than Hailey.

His tour started by taking the subway to Times Square. He always thought it was an overrated attraction, but standing in the middle of it all, looking up around him he realized why people find it so alluring. There was a surreal feeling he had standing there, a feeling he really couldn’t explain. Afterwards, he made his way to Rockefeller Center, Central Park, and around lunchtime he ate at some hole in the wall restaurant outside of Madison Square. The deeper into the city he got, the more charmed he was by it. Looking around while not also chasing a criminal or looking out for a threat changed his perspective in the best way possible. Nothing would ever replace the spot Chicago had in his heart, but he really was falling in love with New York. After lunch, he wandered around, people watching and taking in how unique every street seemed to be. With his career, he never really got the chance to travel, so being a pseudo-tourist for the day sort of mimicked that. It was an interesting experience for him.

It was nearing sunset, and he was scouting out the best spot to catch it. He was never a sit around and watch the sunset kind of guy, but he figured new city could mean new traditions. Just as he was scouring the internet for the best spot, a text came in from Hailey.

Can you meet me?

Along with the text came a pin of her current location. He was in Lower Manhattan, and the location was only a few blocks away on the Lower East Side by the river. His face lit up when he read it, and he felt like he couldn’t move his legs fast enough as he started in her direction. He made his way through crowded sidewalks, the usual noise of traffic and other city sounds around him falling silent to the pounding of his heart in his chest. Two weeks without her, he wasn’t even concerned with what she had to say, he was just ecstatic to finally see her. He made it to the edge of a park by the river, one that looked impalpably familiar. Then he saw the bridge and the orange tint in the sky, and it hit him. It was the spot from the picture she showed him on the plane to the city. He crossed the street and entered the park. His eyes scanned the area, circling the field briefly before spotting a familiar blonde sitting on a blanket under a tree.

Her back was to him, and he took in every detail he could from afar before she could notice. It took him a moment to realize it was her because she was wearing a dress. In the four years he had known her, he had only ever seen her wear a dress a few times and only on special occasions, but this one blew them all out of the water. It was a pale yellow sundress with a delicate flower pattern. Her legs were kicked out to the side under her, and the dress revealed the beautiful tan tone of her skin, the Greek in her that gave her that subtle olive glow. He noticed the way her golden waves fell effortlessly down her back and over her shoulders, and it amused him to see she had paired the dress with simple white sneakers. Such a Hailey Upton thing to do, balance out something as frilly as a yellow sundress with something so casual like a pair of sneakers. The color of the dress suited her so well, and she was quite literally glowing in the orange rays of the setting sun.

As he approached, he noticed a box of pizza and a bottle of wine settled beside her. Oh God is this a date? He thought to himself, becoming aware of the boring t-shirt and jeans he was wearing and the fact that he just spent the day working up a sweat as he walked around the city. He wished he could pop home, or even in a nearby store to at least change his shirt, but he was already there and there was no turning back.

“Hi,” he finally said when he got close, his voice just loud enough for her to hear. She quickly stood and spun around, beaming at him as she did so. She smiled for a long moment, silently taking in his presence with a radiance of joy spread across her face.

“God, I’ve missed you,” she finally said, breathing out the words with a solaced breath.

“Me too,” he said simply, taking in how stunning she was. The bruises that once lined her neck and chest were all healed up, and the spot on her lip that was once split was mended. It was like nothing ever happened. She looked perfect.

“Sorry I look like this. I just spent the day touring the city, but you…you look…” he began, but a dozen words fought to come out. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Perfect. Incredible. Of all of those words, his brain settled on a breathy “wow.” She laughed lightly, shyly looking to the ground as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“You look great… and thank you,” she said, sending him a toothy smile as he nervously chuckled back.

“So, uh what is all of this?” He asked, forcing himself to make real conversation before he embarrassed himself with further nervous babble. He noticed her finger tips lightly tapping in a mindless rhythm against her thigh, and he had to swallow away the grin that formed. He knew she was just as nervous as he was.

“Right, uh sit. I just wanted to do a dinner. A thank you for being there for me. I know you said I don’t have to thank you, but I do. Really, I do,” she said timidly as she dropped back down onto the blanket. He followed suit, settling on the ground with his knees pulled into his chest.

“I thought you hated New York pizza,” he chuckled, his eyes settling on the box before them.

“Oh I absolutely do, this is the one decent slice I have been able to find in this pizza hell of a city. It’s no Bartoli’s, but it’s edible,” she joked. He snickered at how worked up she got over pizza, and he grabbed the plate she was holding out to him.

“So, how’ve you been?” He asked, recognizing they had fully bypassed that initial level of small talk.

“Better… way better,” she admitted, and he knew by the look in her eyes she was telling the truth. It made him happy to hear, and even happier to see.

“I’m glad,” he told her with a grin. A warmth flushed through his body as she smiled proudly back at him.

“Yeah, I’ve actually been seeing a therapist. Dealing with what happened, and even dealing with stuff from Chicago that I never really dealt with,” she admitted. Years ago she changed his outlook on therapy, and he grew to learn just how beneficial it could be. He was surprised to learn therapy was a new thing for her, but it made him happy that she seemed so excited about it.

“That’s so good, really. If anyone knows how helpful that is, it’s me,” he said as he locked his eyes with hers.

“Yeah, I spent the last two weeks thinking about the thing with Walker, going over it with my therapist. I spent my sessions talking with her about everything, and I’d just go home and wonder what I could have done differently, why I missed the signs that his friendliness was more than just…”

“Hailey, none of what happened was your fault. You were nice to him, and he took advantage of that. End of story,” Jay interrupted, waving a hand in front of him to emphasize his words.

“No, no, I know that. I just kept thinking about what he said about me leading him on. While I know I definitely wasn’t doing that, I did start to question why I so easily looked past his comments and his flirting. I mean, I would have shut that down immediately in any other situation with any other guy. Like, I knew it was happening, yet I let the comments go and still agreed to keep seeing him after work. I kept thinking about that, kept talking it over with my shrink, and I eventually realized what it was,” she said, her focus fixed on the sky behind Jay’s head as she spoke, and he noticed her fingers restlessly playing with the hem of her dress.

Jay wrapped his arms tightly around his knees, locking his fingers around his wrists, anxiously waiting for her to finish her thought.

“Every time I went out with him, it was an excuse to get away from you… a distraction because I couldn’t stop thinking about how I felt about you,” she confessed.

Jay let out a shaky breath. He had figured she had feelings for him, imagined what she was thinking when only her eyes were communicating what words weren’t, but the verbal confession still took him by surprise. He looked at her, stupefied and relieved by the admission, and there was a long pause. She took a breath and finally continued as her eyes seem to roam the sky for her words.

“Before I left Chicago, Trudy said something to me that I just couldn’t stop thinking about. But, we were going through this big change, new city, new job, it all just didn’t seem like the right time, and I wasn’t even sure if you felt the same way. But then we’d have these little stolen moments, these blips of time where it felt like we were going to make that jump, and something would get in the way,” she said. Jay almost let out a chuckle at how familiar her words sounded. It was like she had snuck into his brain and was reading off a script of his own thoughts.

“When I was out with Walker, I was passing the time with him to forget about you. Yet, every single time, you were all I could think about… Trudy said the longer I pushed the thought of us away, the more I was tempting fate. Well, I’m done tempting fate. I’m done letting people and time and situations stand in the way of us because Jay, you’re my watershed guy,” she rambled, her words rolling together the quicker she spoke. She took a series of deep breaths after the long monologue, clearly fighting back tears as Jay tried to process everything she was saying and everything it carried.

“Watershed guy? I don’t think I’m follow-“ he questioned before she cut him off. She snickered lightly before continuing, shaking her head amusedly as she tried to find the words to continue.

“Right, you don’t get that… uh there’s a story behind that, but what I’m trying to say is my life hasn’t been the same since I’ve met you. You’re always there. When I expect it and even when I don’t. In more ways than one, you have made me a better person, a better detective, and now a better agent. We came into each other’s lives and for me it was like everything changed. I’ve never had a partner like you. I’ve never had a friend like you, and at some point I realized I can’t even picture what my life would look like without you. I don’t want to. You… you are my turning point,” she said, inhaling sharply.

“Jay, I’m in love with you. I love you so much more than I thought I could ever love anyone, and I’ve been pushing it down for so long but I can’t anymore. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you said those words to me. I know I made you wait for me, and I would understand if-“ with that, Jay leaned forward, kissing her with the desperation and fervor that had been building up in him over the past two weeks. The past four years if he was being honest. She relaxed into the kiss, bringing her hand to the back of his head, brushing her fingers through his short hair as she pulled him closer into her. They sat there in the middle of the park together, lost in each other, and completely oblivious to the world around them as they unleashed almost four years of pent of feelings. When they finally pulled away for air, they giggled against one another’s mouths, coming down from the reality of the euphoric moment. Hailey leaned forward into him, placing a brief kiss against his lips before pulling away again, staring into his eyes and rubbing a thumb over his mouth lightly.

“So, does that mean we’re on the same page?” she asked with a smirk.

“That means, I’m in love with you too,” he said back, tangling his hand into her hair and bringing her back to him for another kiss. She smiled widely, before settling back onto folded legs.

They ate dinner together under the setting sun, watching as the sky changed from day to night. They talked and laughed for hours until they realized they were the only two left in the dimly lit park. Upon the realization, they gathered everything from the ground and made their way out of the park, their hands intertwined together and their faces sharing the same twinkled smile.

“So, what now?” He asked as she swung their joined hands together between them. They walked slowly, savoring every second as they maneuvered half-empty sidewalks.

“Now, we go back to my place… if you’re willing to share a bed with me again,” she said in a confident whisper, pulling on his arm slightly so that she could raise up and say it into his ear.

The corners of his mouth curled up in return, and he bobbed his head dramatically in endorsement.

“You had me at go back to my place,” he said firmly, smiling as she giggled next to him. He leaned down, pressing a kiss against her temple, and they continued to make their way back to her place, at a slightly quicker pace than before.

- - - -

“I know I said this before, but you make a great pillow… among other things,” she innuendoed, raising her brows and kissing the grin from his mouth. They were wrapped up in her bed, unable to keep their hands off one another from the moment they made it back to her apartment. It was late into the night, and they remained tangled together, their hands mindlessly traveling each other’s bodies as they basked in the afterglow.

“You make a pretty damn good weighted blanket… among other things,” he teased back, causing them both to giggle. Once the light laughter had subsided, he broke the silence with a question, a heavier question than he intended.

“So what does this mean for our partnership?” he asked her, his fingers still dragging lightly across her bare shoulder.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean what if the FBI doesn’t let us stay partnered together,” he whispered, slight concern in his voice. There was a silence as she thought it over, and her fingers that traced circles against his chest suddenly stopped. She sat up, resting against his chest the same way she did weeks ago as her eyes peered intently into his.

“I think we’re great together. As partners, and as I’m sure time will tell, as more. This doesn’t need to blend with the work stuff. I know us, and I know we can keep things separate. If they have a problem with that, they can take it up with me. I’ve given the FBI an ultimatum for you before, I will gladly do it again,” she replied, a sneaky grin expressed across her face. He shook his head with a smile in response, bringing a hand down to push a strand of hair out of her face.

“I love you,” he said in a soft whisper. She brought her face close to his, merely inches away.

“And I love you,” she whispered back before connecting their lips.

“Whatever happens, we’ll be fine,” she reassured him upon pulling away.

From detectives to agents, partners to friends, friends to lovers, they’d endured a lot of change in the past few years. They were bound to face even more change ahead, but one thing Jay knew for sure, it was only the beginning of an entire lifetime of change they’d endure together.

“Yeah, we’ll make it work,” he nodded, and she smiled widely before crashing her lips back into his.

[authorred]

https://youtu.be/2eCi-1MTDR0

Boruto headcanons minor gore of Iwabes regrets of making Sarada's older brother of sixteen years old fight him because Sarada warned him constantly that it would NOT be a good idea as firstly you had Sakuras monster strength and you had the fully developed sharingan and you could potentially kill him if you could as you were glaring at him for calling you a weakling..after breaking his leg 🦵 so easily with just a hand . You were not in a good mood recently and Iwabe and Boruto fell victim to your anger. You weren't that cruel though and basically healed Iwabes leg afterwards...and Saradas reaction to what you did and done afterwards.

I'll admit, there's no gore in here, because I couldn't find a place where it would fit properly and not seemed forced

Even still, I hope you enjoy them :DDDD

Warning(s): None

- As Sarada's older brother, you were already pretty attuned to your fighting abilities and jutsu, though since the village was in a time of peace, you never had to use them much

- You still trained when you could, where you could, with who you could

- You would often pick up Sarada from the academy and came to know some of her classmates, one of which was Iwabe. An arrogant, two-time test taker.

- Out of all of them, he was the loudest talker and quick to jump into things reminded you of a certain blond

- Since Sarada is at the top of the academy next to Boruto, they only expected you to be strong like her too. You're her older brother, they secretly expected you to be better

- People lowkey idolized you since you're the older brother of one of the best students. Iwabe found that stupid, as they've never seen you fight

- He took it has far as to call you weak both to your face and behind your back, to which Sarada snitched on him when she got home

- At first, you didn't care. It made sense since no one besides Sarada and Sakura have seen you fight before

- It really started to get on your nerves when Iwabe was showboating himself, talking about how even he, an academy student, could beat a 16-year-old Jonin-level ninja (according to rumors)

- Sarada was quick to warn Iwabe of his arrogance and that you gained your mother's massive strength (naturally, as opposed to chakra-controlled strength)

- He brushed off her concern, basically stating that proof isn't valid with words, but with actions

- The next time you went to meet Sarada at the end of academy, Iwabe was there, waiting for you

- Most of the students knew Iwabe would directly challenge you and wanted to witness him getting his ass handed to him

- He prefaced his declaration by saying he was willing to be proved wrong, but he knew he wouldn't be

- You were already in an annoyed mood by just the sight of him, let alone whatever words came out of his stupid face

- As soon as he tried to attack you, you just punched him all the way to the top floor of the academy.

- Utter silence followed and the students expected Iwabe to stay down, but when he came flying out of the hole you put him in, they all mentally prayed for him

- Iwabe used his staff to create a ramp of earth to help him back to the ground and run back to you. He was pissed off that you managed to better him

- His attacks were pretty straightforward, so it wasn't that hard to evade them

- When you two got close enough, you easily disarmed him, turning it into a battle of taijutsu

- The longer you sparred with him, the more annoyed you got. No matter how many times you punched him into the ground, he just popped right back up

- You decided to end the fight swiftly and decisively

- The next time Iwabe sent a kick to your face; you grabbed his lower leg and proceeded to snap his bones with just your grip

- Before he could utter a sound, you threw him into the ground, to which he bounced off of it from sheer force

- The students watched Iwabe writhe on the ground in pain, clutching his leg

- Boruto thought breaking his leg was too far, but when he tried to argue with you, you only flashed your Sharingan at him

- That managed to subdue him into silence

- You walked over to Iwabe and when he tried to scoot away from you, you just told him to shut up and let you heal him

- Healing his leg didn't take that long--having the Leaf's best healer as a mother served as a great advantage

- At home, Sarada didn't say much regarding what you did and how you went about doing it

- Your irritation/annoyance had sizzled down by then, but you still apologized for creating a scene

- Sarada just told you it was fine. Iwabe was a loudmouth and got what was coming to him. She warned him several times of your strength, but he continued to push

- Iwabe, on the other hand, was still limping. Even though you healed the broken bone, there was still pain

- The mf was fr eating his words

- He despised people staring at him while he limped pathetically to his house

- When he got home, he just went up to his bedroom and stayed in there

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 9 - Love Among the Ruins

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Angst in the beginning, some fluff in the middle and smutty smutty smut with dirty talk(?) at the end with a surprise 😌

Summary: The lovers finally confront each other.

Word Count: 5.925

Author's Note: For those who are wondering about the date - it's mid September & October, 2035! I'm so sorry for the late update, my inspo was a little low; writing this chapter was disastrous because I changed the course of the story halfway through but after many proofreading's and editing, here we are. My apologies again for keeping you all waiting for so long, I hope y'all are still interested in this series 🥺

Enjoy!

As you had predicted, you hadn't healed an ounce. All your bruises did was change colour and, according to Katherine, it was a sign that you were healing. Bullshit, you had said. You didn't say you knew better than a doctor, but you'd had similar scars like these and they healed quicker in the span of a week than these had in ten days.

"I'm sorry-" You had immediately apologised to Katherine after you let your frustration slip. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"No offense taken," She smiled sadly. "I understand your frustration, (Y/N). Physical damage like yours takes its toll on the person."

"I ain't healing, Katherine." You croaked, sighing. "It doesn't have anything to do with your treatment."

"I know," Katherine caressed your shoulder gently. "You went through hell and you need to rest. You need to heal emotionally so the rest of you can too."

The words stuck to you, of course you knew it had something to do with your mental health, but you didn't know exactly what you needed or needed to do.

But deep down, you knew exactly what you needed.

So that's why -after a total of a week and a day in the infirmary had passed and Tommy visited you by himself on a rainy morning- you decided to confront Joel.

"Hey," Tommy appeared by your door with that stupid smirk and Texan drawl.

"Hey," You chuckled through your nose at the sight of him. Your voice was better than it was a couple of days ago: "You look cheerful."

"No more than usual," Tommy sat down. "How're you feelin' today?"

"No shittier than usual," You scoffed, making him chortle. Before you knew it, the following words rolled out of your tongue: "I want to see Joel." Tommy's expression morphed into a shocked one, as he clearly wasn't expecting you to say that, so you added while he remained silent: "That ass hasn't visited me once."

"He... actually did- does," Tommy cleared his throat. "But you don't know that 'cause he does when you're asleep."

Your eyes widened at the new information, your brows immediately knitted: "What?"

"Dolly, look-"

"Don't you Dolly me!" You hissed. "Tommy Miller, you're no less of an ass than your brother!"

"Why am I an ass now?!" Tommy objected.

"You knew he visited me and kept it from me?!" You raised your voice.

"What's going on?" Daisy suddenly walked in, hearing the commotion from meters away.

"Nothing- don't worry," He quickly lowered his voice and reassured her. "Something bit Dolly in the ass."

"Oh fuck you Tommy," You flipped him off. "You're lucky I'm stuck to this damned bed, or I'd smack the shit out of you-"

"Why is my husband's sister-in-law smacking the shit out of my husband?" Maria appeared out of nowhere, smirking as she looked at the scene in front of her.

Tommy liked to refer to you as her sister-in-law, even though you weren't labelled as married with Joel; it unintentionally became a habit of the actually married couple and, even though the road ahead wasn't clear for you, they made you a part of the family. You didn't mind, you didn't try to protest against it because this was exactly the same case with "Dolly".

"Your husband is being an ass!" You groaned.

Tommy stayed quiet for a moment, then sighed in defeat. "You know what? You're actually right. I should've told you."

"...It's okay," You didn't look him in the eyes as you exhaled heavily.

A confused Daisy walked out of the room with an okay, nevermind kind of expression on her face, making Maria walk into the room and close the door behind her: "What happened?"

"Joel visits me while I'm asleep and none of you bother to tell me about it?" You looked between them in a displeased manner.

Maria and Tommy exchanged a guily look between themselves, then Maria spoke: "Yeah, we should've told you, you're right... but you said you weren't ready to face him just yet. He knows this and he's ashamed of what he did, so I think he thought it was better to visit you like that than not visit at all."

"Well, I'm not going to pussy out and avoid this furthermore, I want to see him." The couple exchanged another worried look before you added: "Bring him here- to me."

Tommy chuckled. "He'll come running, don't worry, but he just left for patrol..."

"Oh... okay. Afterwards, then." You said, calmer now.

"I'll let him know when he returns," Maria turned to her husband and then back to you. "I'm glad you decided to talk to him - one of you had to do it sooner or later and, well, I knew it was going to be you."

You gave Maria an alien look, many emotions running through your mind as she continued: "You may not be aware, but you're quite confrontational. I think Ellie got that from you."

"Oh, no," You smiled a little. "I got it from her. She's the most confrontational kid I've ever seen."

Maria smiled back: "As I was saying, you're confrontational, but Joel isn't - according to Tommy, anyways."

"You're right, to some level anyway," You looked at Tommy, then leaned back on your pillows.

Whether they liked it or not, a person has to come face to face with their mistakes, accept them, learn from them and move on. It was easier said than done of course, you knew this better than anyone - suddenly you felt sick to your stomach, memories of your first weeks in Jackson interrupting your train of thought, all of a sudden making you nauseous and giving you a desperate urge to be left alone.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" Maria sat beside you. "You're going paler by the second-"

"I'm fine," You gulped. "Just- old memories-"

Maria immediately took your hand which was closest to her in both of hers: "It's going to be okay, nothing that can't be sorted out."

"I know," You smiled weakly, the need to empty your insides crawling up your throat. "I should rest a while, I don't feel too well-"

"Should I call Kat?" Tommy asked and Maria gave you a concerned look.

"No, no, I'm fine, I just- I need to sleep for a bit..." You gave her hand a weak, reassuring squeeze, then closed your eyes and pressed your head against the pillows. The couple took this as their cue and left quietly, letting you fall into a long sleep.

----

It was a tough day for the eldest Miller brother. He was absolutely drained and currently sleeping on the uncomfortable, leather chair outside your room after a rather harsh patrol; his arms were crossed and legs were spread and he was sure his neck would've snapped in half if he hadn't woken up to the echoing of a door opening. He quickly sat up, all those years out in the wild having made his hearing hypersensitive, and cursed quietly, rubbing his neck and groaning. The watch on the wall read 19:07 and his head snapped towards your door immediately, but before he could get up, a voice he wasn't entirely fond of scratched at his ears.

"Hey man..." It was Walt. He scratched the back of his neck as Joel slowly turned his head toward him. "I- I wanted to see how she was doin'..."

Joel just nodded: "She's cross with you, but she'll appreciate that."

"Wait- you cool with me visiting her?" Walt halted, making Joel sigh and cross his arms.

"I am- unless you give me a reason not to be." He said and told the redhead not to push his luck. Walt just nodded and sat beside Joel.

"Would ya mind if I asked what happened?" Walt spoke, his green eyes falling on Joel's hazel ones.

"I do." Joel didn't look at him, focusing on the floor instead. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's just that, I saw Tommy and Maria talking with Eugene and I overheard how your relationship was ah..."

Joel's head snapped at Walt's words which trailed off: "Didn't I just say I don't wanna talk about it?"

"Right- you're right, I'm sorry." Walt apologised as Joel gave him an irritated look. "I am, really."

Joel turned his head forward and leaned back, sighing through his nose. He couldn't believe you would've ended up with Walt, of all the people in Jackson, if Ellie hadn't set you two up on Christmas- or, well, if he had died in that hospital while saving his daugh-

"I just wanna say," Walt interrupted Joel's train of thought. "She'll come around. She always does. I pulled off some real stupid shit ever since we became friends and she always forgave me. She's a good person."

Joel side eyed him: "Yeah, she is..."

"But don't tell me you're gonna wait here until she makes up her mind and decides to forgive you Lord knows when?" Walt chuckled. "You don't wait for someone that long..."

Joel turned his head toward him once more and straightened up, hands squeezing his arms tighter at his nonsense: "I am gonna wait. You bet your ass I will - as long as she wants me to. She's broken, but healing- and that kinda healin'?" He pointed at your room. "It takes a lotta time... She has all the time she needs to make up her mind- don't really care if it takes days or weeks. I'm heartbroken too, but in the end, I'll wait."

Walt's smile immediately dropped the second those words left Joel's lips. He was frozen on spot, totally humiliated and couldn't do anything as he added: "I don't expect you to understand. If you loved her like I do, you'd wait."

Joel could tell Walt wanted to be swallowed by a deep hole in the ground - he was utterly dumbfounded and clearly wasn't aware of how your relationship with Joel was love at its truest form.

"I think it's best if you leave now." Joel sighed once more, got up without sparing another look at the shocked man, then quietly walked into your room.

----

You woke up from a reoccurring nightmare right when the chatter outside had began. It's the same scenario: You're captured by Axel, but there are different endings sometimes.

Usually, it's just the image of Axel's ruined corpse. You knew you'd done some pretty fucked up things in the past as a FEDRA soldier and you acknowledged them, but none of them was as bad as this one, you thought. Beating a man to death to the point of bringing his insides out? Even though your acts were mostly justified in your head and by the people who knew the story, you simply couldn't believe you went as far as to torture him to death.

He was right, he did ruin you.

Sometimes, right before you're captured, he shoots Joel in the head while negotiating your surrender. This is the worst one next to the one when you let the darkness envelop you whole- let it embrace you and you end up losing everyone and everything, including your mind. Those are the ones that wake you up with a brutal scream, that has the nurses rushing into your room in panic.

Sometimes it'd be after he captured and tortured you: After hearing the gunshots from outside and fleeing, you'd die and wake up in cold sweat with trembling hands. Sometimes, one little mistake and either Tommy or Joel -or both- would die. Sometimes you'd die right in front of them- Axel would shoot back instead of running like a coward and the bullet would put a hole between your brows. The thing that scared you wasn't the dying bit, it was the fear of failure and agony you'd cause to your family: To Joel and Ellie, Tommy, Maria and to the others who cared for you. The way Joel told you not to go after Axel or to not do certain things echoed through your subconscious and you acknowledged just how right he was.

That was what you were afraid of.

Disappointment, disapproval and failure.

In this nightmare, however, you were going hand to hand with Gabe. You remembered how scared you'd felt when he pulled off that move with his legs, trapping your neck between his ankles with incredible flexibility and slamming you to the ground while you were trying to stab him, almost crushing your neck - that scene was replaying in your head, but in this version, he cut off your breathing and you could't get up on time when Joel pushed through. Just as he got into your line of vision to shoot him, however, Gabe reached for the pistol strapped to his thigh and shot Joel in the head; you woke up with a gasp, eyes wide and you were trembling everywhere. You were sweating as if you'd ran a marathon under the sun and your breathing was heavy just as much.

As you laid in the bed, stunned, you heard everything that was being said outside. At first you couldn't hear anything other than your breathing and heartbeat, but as you forced yourself to calm down, the voices got clearer and clearer: It was Walt and Joel.

Your teeth were about to crush from clenching them so tight, you still weren't processing the chatter completely, but you managed to understand only these words:

"If you loved her like I do, you'd wait."

You felt like you were paralyzed on spot, tears rolling out of the corners of your eyes and running down the side of your nose were mixing with the droplets of sweat formed around your face when you heard a soft knock on your door and the opening of it: "Hey..." You were looking bewildered, as if you'd seen some supernatural creature, making Joel alert: "Hey, are you alright?"

You just blinked a couple of times as you shook your head sideways. There was a barbed wire wrapped around your throat, you couldn't reply as he walked to your side, stood just above you and asked: "What's wrong, what happened?"

You were expecting Joel to give you a hug or- just caress your back- anything. But he didn't. He didn't touch you, or call you baby, sweetheart, darling...

Dolly...

For an insane second, the failure you were so afraid of came crashing down along with the lines he spoke outside, making you gasp after realising you'd been holding your breath: "Oh Joel," You finally reached out for him, voice cracking, which reminded him of when he pulled Ellie off of that cannibalistic maniac. He gently took your hand in his and immediately sat down beside you without wasting another second. "I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be sorry, darlin', you got nothing to apologise for." Joel put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you flush against his chest. You were his darlin' again, just like that. His chin rested on your head as you trembled and cried: "You heard what I said, didn't you?" He felt you nod against his chest: "I meant every word of it."

You two stayed like that for awhile. Joel eventually leaned back on the bed with you in his arms and let you snivel, tears of his own rolling down his cheeks and onto your pillow in the meanwhile. His hold never loosened around you: As if, if he let you go at that moment, he'd lose you forever. He suppressed the whines that were stuck in his throat - he didn't want to upset you furthermore, didn't want you feeling guilty than you already were.

"Let me look at you," You whispered after a long time, face pressed against his brown jacket you adored, his scent making it's way into your lungs despite your blocked nose.

Joel reluctantly pulled away then, letting you raise your head so that you could take a proper look at him. His eyes were puffy and wet, just like yours: "You got a lil' something on your nose, miss."

You giggled as he reached for napkins from behind him, stayed quiet and gazed into his eyes as he wiped your nose clean; then he moved onto your wet cheeks, then the corners of your eyes. He was so gentle with you, so gentle, that you almost cried again. He took another napkin and wiped the sweat around your temples, forehead and neck; once he was done, he put the napkin away, then looked into your eyes. You shook your head and looked down, embarrassed: "Will you ever forgive me? I-"

"Shh," Joel carefully grabbed your chin with his thumb and pointing finger, pushed your head up slowly and looked deep into your eyes: "I ain't mad or upset. I would've waited for as long as you needed, if it meant bein' yours again."

Your eyes looked away, feeling more ashamed than ever. After a moment of silence, you figured, you shouldn't be upset any longer -for his sake- and spoke: "Since when were you so fancy with words?"

He chuckled softly: "Ever since I figured you like 'em." You chuckled as well and looked lovingly into his eyes. "Know this, (Y/N): I'd do anything for you. Anything."

You realised then, that a kiss much needed by both parties was long overdue, so you leaned forward and attached your lips onto his, cupping his cheek. He kissed back, passionately and full of emotion with a hint of aching, acknowledging the fact that you'd do anything for him too. Neither of you were aware of Tommy and Ellie watching from the door, the younger Miller smiling to himself, then leaving you two be while your daughter watched her parents, finally reunited and in each other's arms.

Things escalated pretty quickly after that. Your healing improved massively, but the road ahead was still long. Your nightmares were still a thing, but you slept better, so you didn't complain. Everyone's moods had improved as well, the Millers were finally happy which boosted other people's morals. You and Joel did a lot of talking and explaining, promising each other that from then on, you'd be more open to each other about the things that disturb you. Joel had explained how one of Axel's guards had taken his jacket off of him before they left because he knew you'd try to escape and it'd be a convincing trap - you, most importantly, opened up to him about how you felt as you killed the man in question.

"You said that nothing could give you more joy than... killing him," Joel cleared his throat awkwardly. "Did you... did you really mean that?"

You stared and blinked. Of course it hadn't, it could never: "Do you actually think that brought joy to me?" Joel nodded sideways. He knew you didn't enjoy it of course. "You do know that, nothing brings more joy into my life than you- and Ellie, right?" You questioned with a tense expression. Had he really seen through you that clearly to assume that the act of torturing someone gave you joy? But you relaxed when Joel let out a relieved sigh, then nodded up and down. "There's never a single truth spoken on a battle if your aim is to anger or scare your opponent..."

"I know, it's just," Joel looked up at you from where he was seated. "I'd've never thought I'd see you like that. You were... you weren't yourself."

"Were you really surprised?" You asked. "Or were you scared?"

Joel thought on your words for a moment: "I guess... I guess I was scared an' upset. To see you like that- I love you darlin'. I wouldn't want anything makin' you like- like that. I... I almost thought I wasn't-"

It was you who nodded then, letting him sigh in a frustrated manner when he struggled to explain himself, but you understood him: "I know Joel... There are ugly sides to the both of us, but- Trust me, I know."

Tommy was glad Joel had found someone he could comfortably open up to like that, it made him happy to know that his brother was in good hands- your hands, unlike his ex-wife's. A month had passed ever since and you were allowed to leave the infirmary and move back in with your lover. You were able to walk without crutches but you needed someone's help like a pregnant lady who could give birth any minute and, 98% of the time, that someone was Joel, of course.

And as soon as you got home, on a chilly October evening...

"Missed me, did you?" Joel chuckled when you didn't let his hand go after he laid you down on your shared bed. You gave him a shy smile and tugged at his hand, biting your lip as he sat down beside you.

"I'm feeling a lot better because of you," You placed soft kisses on his knuckles. "I wasn't healing properly, you know, before we talked." Joel nodded slowly and returned the gesture on your unoccupied hand - your knuckles, the back of your hand and slowly turning your arm and kissing a trail down to your wrist as you continued: "I've wanted to kiss you for so long, to hold you and to be held by you - I got all of that... But there's another thing I want."

He was no fool, he knew exactly what you meant: "Hm? Whatever could that be?"

"Come closer and I'll tell you," You smirked and that line earned you a hungry kiss as your lover placed himself gently on top of you, getting rid of his clothes in the process.

"Oh, I've wanted this too, would you believe that?" Joel smiled into the crook of your neck as he unbuttoned his shirt.

"Really?" You said, your voice quiet in a whisper, as your fingers went under his shirt and trailed up his ribs. "What a coincidence."

Once his shirt came off and he stood above you, his hungry eyes eating you up with a stare which always had heat pooling between your legs, your playfulness dropped as you took in his features. It had been so long since you'd seen his body, you immediately noticed a few changes: Like a new small scar by the side of his chest and the weight loss, of course: "How much weight did you loose?"

"Well," Joel was caught a little off guard and since you were distracted, he slowly began undoing the buttons of your blouse, invisibly wincing at the few bruises decorating your skin. "I can't exactly know, can I?"

His playful tone put a smile on your lips regardless: "I'm serious Joel- is that a new scar?"

He quickly left your blouse's buttons and dipped down, grinded his aching member against yours, his lips finding yours in a hungry kiss. When you parted for the sake of getting some oxygen into your lungs, he spoke: "Darlin', it's been some time since we saw each other - it's nothin' to get upset over. Trust me." You nodded and smiled, hands cupping his ass and pushing them up to indicate that you required another kiss, which Joel gladly obliged: "There are more... pressing matters to attend to."

The best part about this sex was, almost nothing hurt. You had taken a good amount of painkillers before you left and, it was like he knew exactly where you were hurt from your encounter a month ago, so he placed his body on yours accordingly. He slowly moved his head down your neck and then to the valley of your breasts, your hands going into his hair as soon as his teeth were nibbling at your nipples, giving each an equal amount of attention which had you soaked already: "Oh Joel-"

"Yes baby," Joel hissed as he planted passionate kisses around your chest, leaving a wet trail on your breasts which he missed very much; he was having a hard time controlling his urge to decorate them along your shoulders and neck with different shades of red and blue, but of course he held back. Your blouse was all the way open as you rubbed your clothed core against his hard cock. Katherine had suggested that you wore a skirt to make things easier for you when you were getting ready to move out, which you had gladly accepted as wearing pants would be uncomfortable difficult... Little had you known it'd make things easier for Joel too.

Your thighs were bare - somehow, only your underwear was covered by the edges of the skirt and the sight almost made Joel moan, much to your delight, so you grabbed him through his underwear and heard the most beautiful sound as a result: "Fuck, (Y/N)," Joel groaned, face twisted up in yearning and pleasure, which inevitably made you moan. "I don't wanna hurt you, baby."

"You won't," You pleaded as he leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours while settling between your legs, his grip on your thighs were somewhere between hard and soft. "I'll tell you if anything hurts, I promise, but for the love of god, just fuck me Joel."

This was probably a stupid idea. The activity would be too tiring for your body and the last thing Joel wanted to do was cause you distress instead of pleasure, but that was just unfair to the man. It was as if you were provoking him to play rough, because despite what you had told him about letting him know if anything hurt, he still was going to hold back... but what you said afterwards gave him all the permission he needed. Your wish was his command.

His pupils dilated before he lifted your skirt up and dipped his head between your legs, pulling your underwear aside and licking a long stripe up your folds after giving your inner thigh a gentle bite. You gasped loudly, his tongue brushing directly over your clit: "God- fuck!" You were loud, but you didn't care, because he was eating you up just like a man who hadn't eaten anything in a month - which was exactly his case. This felt like the first time again. His tongue expertly worked you to your orgasm, licking between your lips as his beard scratched your inner thighs from time to time; holding you down with his arms around your legs, parting them wider and moving his tongue in a variety of directions as he made you moan over and over again. He hummed against your pussy but suddenly stopped and got up to his knees. You whined at the contact loss, never having felt more disappointed in your life: "Joel..."

He quickly but carefully climbed on top of you, then laid down beside you, diving his fingers between your folds and making them linger around your entrance. With a deep kiss, he inserted a finger into you and you thought you were gonna come right then and there at the feeling. You were partly trapped between his body and the bed and you loved it, moans stuck at the back of your throat as you made out a little roughly, his finger an absolute bliss as it reclaimed its place inside you.

"Joel," You gasped. "More... I need more."

"Hm?" Joel groaned into your ear. "More of what?"

"You- Ah-" You moaned when he inserted a second digit inside your walls, leaving you scratching at his back and possibly leaving a few marks in the process. "Fuck..."

"I bet you missed this, huh?" Joel growled quietly into your ear, grinding his erection to the side of your leg as he stretched you with his thick fingers. "I know I did, seeing you like this..."

"Yes," You moaned, your hand going to grab his cock as he lightly sucked hickeys onto your lower neck and collarbone. Joel moaned when you did, a thrill went down your spine at how hard he was and when he unintentionally thrusted his hips up in your hand, your eyes rolled to the back of your head: "Ohh Joel, t-touch me-"

He thrusted his hips one more time into your hand and as soon as his thumb brushed against your clit, a not so subtle and a rather pornographic moan left your lips, head falling back on the pillows with your grip on his shoulders and nails embedded in his skin. You held onto him for dear life as he fingered you through your orgasm, the wet sounds driving him wild: "There you go, baby, you did so well..."

His words of praise and encouragement weren't lost among your shallow breaths - your body was trembling, not having had such a powerful orgasm in a long time took a toll on you. You'd never seen Joel this desperate and shaky too, like a teenager who was about to have sex for the first time (not that your case was any different).

"Does it hurt?" Joel asked while carefully spreading your legs apart. "When I hold you here?" He grabbed your waist gently - you nodded yes. You weren't exactly sure why it hurt, but you must've taken a few hits there. "Okay... How about here?" His hands smoothly moved to your hips and when you made his hands squeeze a little tighter and noticed you were okay, you nodded no. "Good... I'm gonna turn you over, yeah? Is that okay?"

You nodded, and helped him turn you around and lay your lower body on the pillows. He gently placed your legs as far away from each other without hurting you, exposing your glistening pussy and presenting your ass to him in the perfect angle. A rather animalistic grunt left his lips at the sight, but still he made sure you were okay: "You alright baby?"

"Yes..." You moaned eagerly, secretly not really looking forward to the pain you had to endure for a short while before adjusting to his size again - but you needed him, which was enough to take your mind off the pain. Plus, it was going to be like your first time with him, which was an out-of-earth experience; you were excited that you were going to relive something similar to that again.

At first, his hands pressed down on the bed so he didn't apply pressure to you from anywhere as he lined himself up and pushed slightly. You were already stretched by Joel's thick fingers -which you had missed oh so much- and you were absolutely soaked, it took you only a moment to adjust and let him move deeper into you. He lightly snapped his hips into you, making you moan simultaneously.

"F-fuck-!... You good sugar?" Joel whispered, in an unintentionally seductive tone, which made you clamp down on his length. "Fuck..."

"Yes, yes, yes, Joel-" You whined, absolutely losing your mind over the way he filled you up. "Fuck, ohmygod, please-"

"Shit," Joel growled and started to push in and out of you at a very gentle pace. "You feel so good- Oh Dolly, I'm gonna fuck you so good, darlin'-"

"Yes!" You cried out, tears at the corners of your eyes from the immense pleasure you were receiving. "I'm all yours- ahh~"

Being embarrassed by the noises you made was thrown out of the window a long time ago, thank goodness, otherwise you would've been a little too self-conscious about how loud you were and how much you talked or made noises in general. Joel was exactly in the same state, you two just couldn't keep your mouths shut even if you didn't say a word - neither of you were complaining about the other being loud, of course, it was delightful.

Your jaw hung open when he started going a little faster and harder, your mind going blank at how big and good he felt from this angle, the small bites you felt around the back of your neck wasn't helping your case in any way. You could only hold onto the pillows your head was resting on and moan into the soft material as he reclaimed what was always his.

You could tell he was having a hard time to not grab your hips, or ass, or any part of you; so you decided to spare him the agony and grabbed his wrist which was right next to your head: "Joel, oh- wait..."

"Did I hurt you?" He immediately froze on spot.

"No, no," You reassured him, a whisper of a moan leaving your bruised lips. "Help me up?"

He was confused at what you meant, but quickly got the idea once you pushed yourself on your knees. This position was particularly one of his favourites and you, despite your current state, wanted nothing more than to be railed by this man at the moment and he did it best when he held you close and slammed into you from behind.

You got on your knees and spread them wider, lowering your lower body down while you supported your upper with your arms; Joel immediately pressed his body against yours, hugged your frame with an arm across your chest and pushed into you once more, getting the loveliest sound out of you: "Look at you- couldn't even wait to heal properly..." He growled into your ear, biting the shell of it gently. He groped your breast with the hand on your chest and pinched your nipple between his pointing and middle fingers, which had you throwing your head back right onto the crook of his neck. He kissed your cheek as he continued pounding into you: "You like it when I fuck you like this, huh?"

"Yes," You whined, face twisted up in utter pleasure and somewhat overstimulation. "So good, Joel, so fucking good~"

You felt his hand, which wasn't on your chest, suddenly lift off the bed and sneak down to your clit, causing you to arch your back and have Joel deeper inside you, if that was even possible at this point and a few strokes to your clit had you coming undone around his cock with a high pitched moan.

"Shit," Joel growled and pulled out right before he came, spilling his seed all over your back and ass. The both of you saw the stars because of how powerful the orgasm was, taking a while to recollect yourselves and just panting and trembling. Joel tiredly reached for napkins which were on the nightstand and wiped you clean with them, gently turning you around and laying on your back. He rested his head right below the valley of your breasts, he couldn't seem to catch his breath; you ran your fingers through his hair slowly, looking at the ceiling then chuckling: "Was that too much for you, cowboy?"

He chuckled lightly: "No... maybe..."

You giggled at the exhaustion in his voice, then placed a kiss on the top of his head; a gesture which made him look up, then rise himself a little upwards so he looked directly down at you. You gave him a warm smile and a quizzical look, then, finally he whispered: "(Y/N)..."

"Joel?" You flashed your teeth at him when your smile widened. You really wouldn't know what to do without him, you could confidently say that he was the love of your life.

And, just like he had read your mind, with a shy smile stretched across his lips, he spoke, voice husky yet silvery:

"(Y/N), will you marry me?"

[ecclais-fouoras]

"Why do we always make love in the dark?"

WARNINGS: SMUT, MENTION OF PAST SEXUAL ASSAULT, INSECURITIES, (BRIEF MENTION OF SCOLIOSIS)

Enjoy !

Again, it was 8 pm we were both in bed, our hands around each other, in the dark.

And again I asked her to turn on the lights, and she refused.

And again I respected that.

We had made love so many times, sometimes even just sex,

and yet she was still insecure showing me her body.

Wilhelmina had her issues yes, but I still found her beautiful despite all the things she thought of herself.

So tonight I asked why, why did she not want me to make love to her with the lights on.

"Mina ?"

I asked softly as my hand kept circling her clit while i was on top of her.

"Yes baby....mmmm....what is it..?"

-"why can't you let me see you like this ? I think you're beautiful, and yet I can't even see your pretty face when you cum.."

She was stunned by my words, she moaned softly and her eyes got watery. I felt her tremble underneath me, but it wasn't from coming, so i stopped my hand licking her wetness from my finger

.

"Babe, I've seen you, naked and with clothes on, laughing and sobbing while tears stream down those rosie cheeks and I'm still here. Because I wanna be. I want you to be mine, and me to be yours. Yet when we have sex, i can't see anything ?"

She registered my words and picked up all her courage to answer

"I know that, but when we are intimate it is different. I'm scared, I'm scared you'll see something i hate and run away..."

"I swear if this is about your back...."

"YES OKAY OBVIOUS IT IS"

she got mad and pushed me off of her and started to leave the bed.

"Mina.. stop... Where are you going, we need to sort this out now"

I breathed as I rushed to her side of the bed and circle my arms around her body to stop her from standing up.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING LET ME GO"

"NO ! NO ! FOR GOD SAKE I WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE WHEN THINGS GET ROUGH, OR UNCOMFORTABLE TO TALK ABOUT...You need to work for this..."

I pointed back and forth between us.

"Honey, mina tell me what do you think will happen ? I've seen your back already, it didn't change anything, you are beautiful to me, with your scoliosis or without" I ran my finger down her spine and she shivered when I kissed the bruises on top of her spine.

"I know...but...you...have...never seen all of me at once, and especially when...i give up...control"

there it was, why did i not see that, it ,as obvious that during sex she was vulnerable, and she hated that as much as she loved to be topped.

I saw her summon all her courage to say,

TW: MENTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

"When I was younger..the boy that I was sort of "dating"....he...he wasn't very.. patient with me...and..."

She was sobbing, sniffling between words.

"Well.. i wasn't ready to have sex...and...after a few months...he got tired of waiting...and when he got to my house on day...he started to make out with me...ln my room on the bed....he undressed me and started to play...with himself...but as he got me naked... and flipped me over roughly to penetrate me he saw my back..and he...just stopped yelled that was disgusting...that he wasn't going to touch that...and he just jacked off...because he said i was giving him blue balls...and came on my back...then he just left."

She was now crying, curled in a ball on the bed we so often shared, and i was devastated.

Angry and mad at this asshole, for trying to break my Mina, and for having done that to her.

"Mina, I'm so sorry, i didn't know...it's ok we don't have to ever turn the lights on...I don't want you to be uncomfortable"

i said while spooning her and brushing her tears away.

After what felt like ages and her crying stopped in broke the silence.

"You know, i never told you that, but I was...too"

she turned around to face me, and looked at me confused

"Well, you know what he did to you..."

"...What ?"

"Well...god i hate those words, sexualy assaulted baby"

"No..no..no you don't understand.. he didn't do that...he was my boyfriend..and we'll just was tierd of waiti..."

-" Mina what you just described to me is sexual assault, it doesn't matter if he was your boyfriend, or your teacher, your family or friends. That has nothing to do with what he did to you. Mina you've been living like this, convincing yourself that it was normal, but it is not."

She was shocked by the words that came out of my mouth

"I..."

"I know babe"

she didn't need to speak, i understood everything perfectly, she curled up and nuzzled my neck, while I stroked her dark red hair.

"It's okay baby, your okay "

i tried soothing her with my words

"Your so pretty Mina, so Lovely, and precious."

"Thank you baby"

An hour later, we had both calmed down, she was now sprawled all over me, and I was stroking her leg softly.

"You know, I do know you'd never hurt me, and it's just my fear talking but why do you want the lights to be on ?"

She asked quietly.

Silence, silence piercing your hears, you had to think of something.

You couldn't tell her the truth but a simple 'because I like it' would never be enough.

So you didn't reply, at some point she even though you were asleep, but when she looked at you your eyes were wide open.

But she waited

"You know... you can tell me anything right ?

Of course you knew, but it was something you didn't like to talk about.

But you should, Mina and you had been together for a little over 5 month now, even though none of you said it, you knew you loved each other, she should know.

"I...when i was a kid... I always slept with the lights off, in the full darkness, I thought "if I can't see, the monsters can't see rather and it's easier to hide right ?" So every night I would sleep with no lights on... And one day my parents took in..one of my mom's friend who was getting divorced and was kicked out of his house...after a few days he would come into my room every night... I couldn't see him... and well..after a few weeks my mom found out and kicked him out...After that i couldn't sleep in the dark anymore, i was too scared he'd come back..."

She looked at me lovingly and kissed the skin below her mouth.

"Don't worry I'm okay now, i went to therapy for years afterwards, and well he is in jail because I apparently wasn't the only one he visited, and now I'm all healed"

She took my words, and a few moments passed by.

We both had your hands around each other.

You told Mina she needed therapy, for everything she felt about herself and her trauma.

She nodded and she said she'd make the appointment tomorrow.

We started kissing each other, it was slow and sweet. After we parted i said

"I just prefer to have sex with the lights on, and that is not the only reason, i just like it more, you can see what you do, your partners face, and body, and the way they move and moan. It's just priceless."

"I..."

"I know, we don't have to, I wont push that on you ok ? I'm just telling you what I fe.."

She cut you off by kissing you and replied

"No..i just want...to try tonight, if that's okay with you of course."

"Now? Like.. right now right now... or now like later now ?"

You rambled as you got a little excited at the idea.

"Now.." she rolled on top of you and kissed you again.

"Oh..baby if we do this...we do this my way"

you whispered in her ear as you flipped her over so she was beneath you.

She moaned at the sudden mouvements and whined when she felt your weight leave her body.

"Are you sure you're good ?"

You asked while holding the chord switch of your bedside lamp, she nodded rapidly and you pulled the chord.

There was now a low light in the room, and her skin lit up.

You went back to work, and unbutton her nightshirt, while kissing the middle of her torso, you went down further, admiring her from below. She was so pretty like this, panting and her hair all messy.

You took off her panties and kissed your way up her thighs, she shivered in expectation.

"Mmm... I can't wait to taste you mina"

She groaned loudly at your words,

"Your being such a good girl baby"

"...mmm...oh only for you darling...OH"

You cut her off by puting her clit into your mouth, and circling it with the tip of your tongue. You moved faster, never slowing your pace as you found her gaze with your hungry eyes. Her mouth in an O shape as you played with her bundle of nerves, her hips lifting up for even more contact.

"...please...baby"

"You need to tell me what you need, sweetie"

".mm..more...ah" she plead with her shaky voice.

"Come on baby you can say it...use your words pretty girl" you cooed as she was trying to express her needs.

"God..oh...I..want...your fingers..in me

.. please !"

You couldn't deny her request any longer so you easily pushed two fingers inside her hole as she screamed.

"OH GOD..YES..JUST LIKE THAT..."

You knew exactly what she liked so after a few seconds you curled your fingers inside her while sucking hard on her clit and she came eyes shut crying out your name. You went up her body and stared into her eyes

"Hey"

"...Hi" she breathed out.

"You were perfect baby, and oh your face when you come...i swear I almost came from just looking at it."

"Oh..did you now ?"

She replied biting my neck softly, and when she lifted my hips so I could sit on her face I knew this was gonna be a long night, and that i was so lucky to have her, and we both knew that we'll never make love in the dark again.

[ashes-and-ashes]

sirius thinks remus’s parents are abusing him after a full moon.

tw for mentions of abuse

~

Remus tries to hold in his groans as he makes his way down the hallway. His hands are all bandaged up, making it hard to hold the bottle of tonic Madame Pomfrey had shoved into his hands; he cradled it awkwardly against his chest. Whatever painkilling potion he took earlier was just barely starting to kick in - enough to dull his movements but not enough to dull the pain.

No matter what Pomfrey did there were some wounds that just refused to heal. No one was quite sure what it was - something to do with werewolf claws, maybe - but he still left the hospital wing every time bleeding and bruised and battered. He managed to hide most of it beneath his robes, though, and concealing spells did the rest.

He swears as he reaches the portrait, nearly dropping the bottles he was holding. The Fat Lady gives him a sad smile; without a word she opens, letting Remus in. She’s done that ever since Remus broke his jaw a year back, opened for him without Remus having to say anything. With a grateful smile he climbs through the portrait hole, making sure to tug the painting shut behind him.

Once he’s in Remus braces himself against the wall and lets out a long sigh. The bottles clink faintly in his hand but he ignores it, the world going slightly fuzzy around the edges as the pain under his skin banked and ebbed.

He’s seriously considering just passing out on the sofa when suddenly he hears movement, the faintest rasp of someone on the armchair by the fire. Remus staggers to his feet, the world swaying around him, instinctively pulling his pajamas tightly around him and slipping his hands behind his back.

It’s Sirius, Remus realizes, sprawled out with his legs thrown over the side and head tilted against the back of the chair. He looks exhausted; Remus glances over at the clock in the corner.

“What are you doing?” he asks. His voice is raspy from screaming, giving out at the end and he winces. “It’s 3 in the morning.”

Sirius flicks his gaze up. This close Remus can make out the reflection of the flames in his eyes, a mix of bronze and gold and silver. “I was waiting. You said you’d be home two nights ago.”

“Got sick,” Remus lies. He wonders if Sirius can hear the lie underneath his words. The Full was horrible, worse than usual - he had to stay in the Hospital Wing for a solid day afterwards while Pomfrey tried to piece together the mess of torn skin and broken bones. “Mum thought it was better for me to stay.”

Sirius nods, slowly. “And how are your parents?”

“Fine.” Remus scrubs a bandaged hand over his face. “Jesus, Sirius, you should go to sleep. You didn’t need to stay up - “

He realizes his mistake as soon as he sees the flash in Sirius’ eyes, the way he suddenly went still. Remus curses to himself, letting his hand drop back down.

“I’m fine,” he says. “Really. It’s nothing - “

“Doesn’t look like nothing.” Sirius’ voice is deadly calm.

Remus rolls his eyes, in an attempt to hide the rolling out of nausea in his gut. “Jesus, Sirius, didn’t realize I’d come back to a bloody interrogation.”

“It’s not an interrogation - “

“Good. I’m going to bed.”

He’s about to turn away when lightning lurches up his arm, the sudden pain making him lightheaded. Remus barely hears the wrecked, ragged gasp he makes, the bottle of painkillers falling out of his grasp and shattering on the floor. He whirls around; Sirius looks stricken, his hand still outreached and face pale.

“Oh God,” he says, guilt twisting his face. “Re, I’m so sorry - “

“Fuck,” Remus manages, through the bile rising in his throat. It was one of the wounds Pomfrey couldn’t close, the deep, jagged gash on his forearm, the bruises and the swelling. He didn’t know why it hurt so badly - he’s had other, worse injuries before, broken bones and head injuries. Pomfrey figured something on the Wolf’s claws kept it open, some sort of poison running through Remus’ veins.

He can’t think, the combination of pain and potions making him lightheaded. He stumbles to the armchair Sirius had just vacated- it’s warm from the fire and his body. Sinking into it is both heavenly and excruciating and Remus can’t hide his flinch as he settles into the cushions.

Sirius just watches him, a stricken look on his face. “Re, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were hurt.”

“Leave it,” Remus says; his voice is low and hoarse. “It’s fine. I’m not - not badly.”

“That’s what I used to say,” Sirius says, softly. “Every time.”

Remus frowns. “Sirius, what - “

“I’m not stupid,” Sirius whispers. “Every time you go home. You come back broken. They’re hurting you, aren’t they?”

Remus swallows, hard. There’s something on Sirius’ face, a mixture of concern and a flicker of hope, the desperate plead for someone else, for someone so that he was no longer alone. Remus closes his eyes, thinks about the thin scars on Sirius’ body, the raised white lines and the flecks that looked like starbursts covering his back.

“No,” he says, softly. “It’s not my parents. It’s nothing to do with home.”

Sirius asks, “Are you lying?”

“Not to you,” Remus manages. He watches the flames, the light flickering over Sirius’ face. “Never to you.”

He’s not sure who starts it first; maybe he reaches out or Sirius reaches down but Remus barely has time to take a breath before Sirius’ lips are on his. It hurts - everything hurts, every cut and ache and burning, throbbing bruise - but Sirius’ hands are heartbreakingly gentle on Remus’ body. He wonders if this was what loving Sirius would be like - a mix of pain and hope and secrets, like the sound of thunder as it started to rain.

“I’ll kill them,” Sirius says, breathes it against Remus’ lips. “If they’re hurting you.”

Remus swallows back a dark chuckle. “I know your parents do.”

Sirius shakes his head. “Not like this.”

And they’re both too raw for lying so Remus offers a half-truth, something to soothe the ache that was pounding through his veins. “Don’t worry,” he whispers, and he feels Sirius tense around him. “The only one hurting me is myself.”

[miruko-will-fight-god]

Class 1A x Immortal reader

Warnings: death, Reader death (But revival), talks of pain

Reader info:

Quirk: Complete Restoration (This quirk allows the reader to completely heal from any injury, even allowing them to regrow organs and limbs)

A/N: I swear this isn’t angst, tbh I dont even know what to call this since it isnt fluff, crack, or angst enjoy anyway tho (Also Mineta is replaced with Shinso but that shouldn’t really be a problem lol)

You walked into the room of class 2-A greeted by the faces of your new classmates and Eraser Head, who you had met a few days prior, was lying on the floor wrapped up in his blindingly yellow sleeping bag. You walked through the door, the exhausted teacher sluggishly sitting up. “Alright, introduce yourself quickly, we have things to do afterwards” he grumbles before slouching back down.

 You stepped beside the podium, reciting your rehearsed introduction from memory “Hello, I’m [Y/N] [L/N], I’m a new transfer from [Country]. I look forward to getting to know you all!” You finished, looking over towards Aizawa who was now standing, only half covered in his sleeping bag. “Alright,” he said, “now that that's over with, everyone get suited up and meet me at ground gamma.” 

You followed the rest of the class towards the lockers to change into your costumes Your costume was simple, it consisted of a simple black full bodysuit that had two large pockets running down the outer sides of your legs containing rope for restraining, and some combat boots. Since your quirk didn’t give you any offensive properties, your weapon of choice was a scythe, which was quite noticeable as you paraded out of the locker room with it.

 You, Ahisdo, Shinso and Midoriya were the first ones out of the locker rooms. You stood in awe of the massive industrial training grounds, as Ashido and Midoriya tried to convince you to tell them what your quirk is and Shinso looked like he was planning. As the rest of the class gathered up, you were greeted by your grumpy homeroom teacher and the frail form of all might. When all of you had arrived, All might began to brief you all on the exercise. “Today the battle will be a free for all, The border will be marked by a large red line that will shrink every minute, get pushed out of the border and you’re out, become immobilized, you’re out. Someone will win when they’re the last person standing within the border. We’ll give a 45 second grace period, for you all to get into a position, just make sure that you stay within the border.” He finished explaining. “Does everyone got it?” he asked, eliciting varying ‘yeses’ from you and your classmates. Before the class was told to begin Aizawa added something on. “One more thing, [L/N] and Shinso” your features became riddled with confusion. “As you most likely guessed this test will be an evaluation of you skills. And if I feel like your lacking what it takes to remain in this class, I will expel you.” You jumped at the notion of expelling while Shinso only narrowed his eyes,  you knew that Eraserhead has expelled entire classes of students before, you were no exception to this.

You calmed your nerves just as the pair gave the signal for the grace period to start. All of you ran in, some moving faster than others due to their quirks. An overly loud horn blew throughout the arena just as you reached a safe area near the edge of the border.

‘I guess that was the signal’ you thought, starting to come up with a plan

You knew that you had the benefit of them not knowing your quirk, you were told of them and their quirks and you remember seeing them in the sports festival from last year. So your best bet would be sneak attacks and to knock people out of the border since you only had a limited amount of rope, you figured the stronger and more ballsy of your peers would be near the center, so the majority would be around the outskirts like you.

You were taken out of your thoughts by tape narrowly avoiding your face. You towards your right, to find the person of origin perched on top of a pipe. You readied your weapon in front of you, The memory of the sports festival last year coming back to you. The grip you kept on your weapon tightened as you ran towards Sero, dogging and cutting tape as it was shot as you. Once you were close enough to the pipe you jumped up, hitching your scythe into a vertical pipe adjacent to where you were jumping using the momentum to pull yourself up. As your feet landed on the metal with a soft thud, you pulled your weapon out, grasping it with both hands.

Without hesitation you run towards your current opponent, making your way between the two streams of tape he shot at you. Once he was within range of your weapon, turning the blade around so he was hit with the heel of your scythe. You watched as he fell off of the pole landing on his butt. Before he had a chance to get up or even register the slight pain in his tailbone, the large red line marking the perimeter began to move inward, leaving him outside the line. You slightly felt bad but remembered that there was still a challenge going on. However you knew you were definitely going to be apologizing.

Your next destination was closer to the center of the arena. While it was still fairly early in the game, you had no doubt that quite a few people were out. After a while navigating, only accompanied by the sound of your footsteps and the sound of fights off in the distance. Before you knew it you reached what you assumed was the center. Primarily due to the fact that the area seemed more cleared out compared to other places in the structure. The area seemed almost under ground due to the lack of pipes at the bottom but random pipes acting similar to a roof only letting stray beams of light worming their way to the ground. Within the large cleared out area three people stood the arena. Three who you recognized from their files Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, and Hitoshi Shinso.

You remembered them specifically since one only transferred to the hero course this year, and the other two were fairly powerful. From where you stood you noticed a few other people, their either eyes trained on the scene in front of them waiting for an opportune moment to take one of them out or fighting someone else. The boys were currently engaged in a three-way battle trying their best to keep each other at bay while also trying to keep each other down. 

The boy in the green seemed to have a slight advantage since he seemed more skilled in close ranged hand-to-hand combat than the others. The blonde was stuck primarily on defense and the purple haired boy seemed to have a decent balance between defense and offense. You remembered Aizawa’s words, the threat of expulsion still slightly terrifying you. You took a deep breath and formulated a plan.

 As the battle continued you scaled your way up the pipes avoiding the other spectators. You eventually made you way to the end of a pipe that led directly over the battle- well as direct as you could be considering how much they moved around. You did your best to stay as quiet as possible as your made your way across the pipe until something caught your eye. Quite a bit ahead of you, the pipe got unstable due to it missing quite a few screws. It was unstable enough that probably if you applied enough pressure the pipe would collapse causing a domino effect to the few pipes below it. You knew if you spent anymore time thinking it over you would psych yourself out of it.

 You got a running start and jumped onto the pip fell with it  was everything collapsed. The trio below you saw and each to appropriate actions to save themselves. Bakugou jumping back using the force of explosions to power himself back. Shinso using his capture weapon to move larger pieces of debris out of his way. Deku jumping off of the falling rubble to make sure none of it fell on himself.

That portion of the Arena was covered in a layer of dust causing everyone to cough. As the dust started to settle, letting everyone open their eyes and get fresh breaths of air into their lungs, that's when they noticed it. You were dead…? You laid on top of the rubble, only small pieces laying on top of you. There was quite a noticeable head wound, and a hole in your stomach. Almost like a piece of metal had passed clean through you.

No one dared to move, the sight of a dead body causing some of them gag, trying to keep the bile in their stomachs. No one’s eyes dared to stay fixated on anything your body, like if they looked away you would really be dead. The most stoic of your classmates were unable to keep their unwavering facades together. Everyone's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden yelling from the pile of  wreckage “THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH!” You yelled, sitting up unaware of the state of your classmates. Tears started to flow as some of them finally gained the courage to run up to you bombarding you with questions. 

You chuckled at the familiar questions of “what?” “how?” “weren’t you dead?” Aizawa looked through the screen, a shock that was unknown to his colleague riddled his mind. He knew what your quirk was, but he didn’t know it was to that extent. He had seen healing quirks at work before, but he had never seen someone just come back to life like that. Aizawa ended the training session early giving you his logical ruse spiel while also reprimanding you for being that reckless.

Soon enough lunch rolled around, and you sat with a large group of one 1-A students ending up next to the green haired boy from earlier. As soon as you sat down you were bombarded with questions before you chuckled. “I can’t answer all your questions at once, one at a time please.” Midoriya asked his questions first which were basically all the practical ones. 

“What is your quirk?”

“It’s called complete restoration, I’m just able to heal any injury on myself, including ones that are fatal.”

“So you’re immortal?”

“Pretty Much.” you answered curtly, continuing to stuff your face. 

“Do you feel pain?” a red head asked sheepishly. “Not in the slightest! But I can tell when I get hurt, it’s like some sort of sixth sense. And “dying” is practically just waking up from that weird falling feeling ” You shrugged. “But it makes it really fun to jump off of buildings and stuff!” you finished giggling. Your classmates looked at you with a mix of awe and disbelief, continuing to ask questions throughout the lunch period.