#there are a myriad of reasons why your characters can have these discussions about the order

[anderscim]

✦ a really old minitheory about jax that had been left in my drafts for nearly a year

title is pretty self-explanatory.

// spoilers for the pilot episode of TADC

so, this is actually an old theory that i had created back when the pilot first came out—but i decided that it’s worth sharing now. basically, it summarizes what i think could possibly be a reason behind our favorite rabbitoid’s behavior.

take everything with a grain of salt. (^^)

this might sound like a weird place to start from, but i swear there’s a line of thinking behind it—what could be some of the reasons that a character abstracts?

at the very least, we know for sure that abstraction occurs if a character’s mental state entirely collapses—which could happen for a myriad of reasons. mental breakdown, existential crisis, you name it.

however, the most important effect that comes with abstraction is that they completely lose their sense of identity—which is also shown externally with the abstracted character’s appearance.

this led me to think that a possible reason for abstraction could also play into identity—whether that’s losing it, somehow messing with it one way or another, or, in a crazy scenario, doing something (aka recovering original memories, for example) that would cause them to clash with their current identity. things like that. obviously there’s some very strong theories out there as to what could also be other reasons for abstracting, but for now i’ll stick with the simpler explanations.

okay, but what does this have to do with jax?

basically, i needed to set up the previous context in order to be able to explain a possible reason for jax’s… jacka$$ery. yeah. that works.

as far as i can tell, it looks like he’s essentially being mean to everyone else just for the sake of it. from (allegedly) placing a centipede in ragatha’s room, to constantly bullying gangle, to pretty much every snide comment in general—it seems that he’s completely cemented his role as the “mean guy” of the series. but what if that was his goal?

the reason why i partly discussed identity in the abstraction section is because, to me, it seems like jax is setting up his own identity as the rudest and most chaotic character in the cast as a way to ensure his survival in this digital world for as long as possible. or in other words, this identity of his is something he can consistently fall back onto no matter what happens, which allows him to keep his mental stability a bit better than others. it’s a simple role that was developed only within the context of the digital circus, and he seems completely comfortable with staying in it.

additionally, here are some other circumstances where he could just fall back on his “identity”— - something bad happens to him? sure, let’s call it karma. - in the event that he does something that causes a bit too much destruction? it’s fine, he’s supposed to be the guy that would do something like that anyways. (edit: he did exactly this in episode 2. just my luck. help me.) - hurts someone on accident? wouldn’t be out of the question. maybe even intentionally if the time calls for it.

overall, it feels like his current place as the “rude character” makes it a lot easier for him to stay consistent and keep things less complicated. being nice is difficult and nuanced, you may unintentionally hurt someone by saying the wrong thing—but if you’re already known to harm people one way or another, there’s absolutely no mistakes you can make.

and for jax, it’s a way to keep himself grounded while causing a ton of chaos on the side—which he seems to like doing, so it works. this is pretty much a foolproof method of survival for him; at least, until something happens which he doesn’t expect.

but this is all just speculation. feel free to chime in with some of your own insights (´∀｀*)

———

edit: yes, this is pretty old haha. but i think it still somewhat holds true for episode 2, so i’m posting it for now. would be kinda funny if i was entirely wrong about this though (￣ ￣)

[jungk0oksthighs]

Pi Gasu | One Of Me, Two Of Us

Pairing - jungkook x reader

Genre - smut, angst, E2L, vampire!jungkook

Word Count - 5.5k

Jungkook doesn't react too kindly to your previous threat & makes you an offer. Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, terminal illness, toxic family dynamics & secrets

SERIES MASTERLIST

There are moments in life when time itself comes to a halt. Moments where there are so many unspoken truths locked behind the eyes of the damaged and tormented, begging to be freed but too afraid to speak up. Moments like these can be found everywhere in life, with nothing but racing hearts and anxious sweaty palms desperately clinging onto the illusion of something better. Ignoring reality, ready to embrace the future whatever it looks like. Longing for more. Uncertainty is omnipresent, and in this moment, right here, it’s thick enough to cloud the air and choke you.

“Do not pull that trigger.” Jungkook warns from his position on the now destroyed bed, equal parts frightening and frightened. “Y/N… Untie me, I’ll do anything you need. I’ll be anything you need. But do not pull that trigger.”

A shaky breath escapes you, gun still firmly pressed to your temple, “Why? So you can lie to me about drinking my blood—”

“I cannot express the magnitude of how sorry I am, I’m sorry. I really am sorry I was dishonest with you, but you don’t need to do this. I’ll give your brother my blood. I’ll save him.”

Where Jungkook was once battling with the restraints, screaming, begging you to free him just moments ago. He’s now completely still, there’s a darkness in his eyes suggesting that he’s looking at you with nothing but disgust and hatred. But his features are soft, rounded, maybe even a little scared. As you know by now he’s not exactly reliable, in fact he’s far from it. But there’s something about the desperation engulfing his frame that makes you want to believe him.

“How do I know that I can trust you?” You swallow, trembling hands slowly peeling the weapon away from your face.

“Because you’ve just threatened the one thing the solidifies my promise.” He sighs, watching you cautiously. There’s another sigh that follows, this one appearing more relieved when you haphazardly throw the gun down to the glossy floor of the private VIP room. “Untie me.”

“Why did you lie to me?” You sniff, a myriad of emotions coursing your veins in this moment. Relief, sadness, regret, shame, and one that’s fuelling every fibre of your being. Hope. Hope for Eddie. Hope that he’ll live a long, healthy life.

Jungkook wets his lips, taking a beat of silence before he shakes his wrists, sharp chin tipping to the chains binding his fury, “You have my word that I’ll help your brother, untie me and we’ll discuss this properly.”

“No.” You bite, shaking your head, determined for answers, “Not until you tell me why you lied. This whole time you’ve been filling my head with romantic bullshit just to drink my blood? Why?”

“There is no bullshit Y/N,” Jungkook kicks his head back in frustration, clearly irritated that you’re interrogating him right now, “What you must understand about me is that before you I had nothing to lose. I said things, did things, that may not make sense to you.”

At this you scoff, peering up to the corner of the room where you clock a tiny camera with a blinking red light beneath the lens. A swift reminder of where you are, of what Euphoria actually is. “Just answer the fucking question. You lied for a reason.”

“Losing you isn’t an option and I knew the truth would hurt—”

“So you kept this huge secret from me for weeks instead?! Tell me how that’s any better!” You lose your cool, thank god Jimin had the decency to share Jungkook’s true intentions with you, if it weren’t for him you would’ve probably been tangled up in the sheets – what’s left of them – with Jungkook right now. The thought alone is enough to make you nauseous, disappointed in your own judge of character.

“I didn’t say it was better, but it was too late for me to take it back by the time your true identity dawned on me. Y/N… Do you believe in fate?” Jungkook’s simple question lands on your ears like an intricate riddle.

“What?” You blink at him, confused. Footsteps already bringing you closer to the bed he’s bound to. He swallows, eyes fluttering shut from pain when you begin to laugh, loud.

“Is this where you tell me we’re soulmates? We’re written in the stars like some sick badly written vampire fanfiction?” You snort, throwing your head back in disbelief, “Sure Jungkook, let’s say fate brought us together and not the prospect of money to help my dying brother. Did fate make you lie to me? Was it fate that drank my blood behind my back? Did fate almost bite me? Is fate the reason you’re chained to a bed right now, physically incapable of stopping me from storming out the room?”

A wicked smile tugs his handsome features, masking the hurt that his doe-eyes are drowning in, “Be my guest. Storm out the room. See how long your brother lasts without me.”  

“Fuck you.” You spit, disgusted.

“I think that ship has long sailed, don’t you?” He’s chuckling, craning his neck from side to side to ease the tension he feels. “If you don’t untie me in the next five seconds—”

His threat is cut short by you reaching for the chains, he’s explained to you before that only a human can physically unlock them. Some kind of ancient binding magic created by powerful witches a billion years ago or something equally as dramatic. If there is no human present to untie them, the creatures of the night rely on timers to break free. But that’s usually a last resort, as vampires are somewhat arrogant and accustomed to humans bending over for them as soon as they ask.

With determined fingers you manage to break the spell, and it’s a millisecond later when you’re being pinned down to the mattress with so much force that for a second your heart stops beating.

Jungkook is above you, angrily pinning your hands above your head, staring down at you with a jaw so sharp it threatens to slice you. Eyes painfully tormented with something dangerous and frightening. His chest is heaving up and down with each and every unsteady breath dragging through his flared nostrils. His hold of your palms is harsh enough to make you hiss in pain, and it’s at that moment Jungkook softens his grip.

“Don’t ever, ever, do that to me again.” His tone drips with venom, sharp teeth bared in a sinister snarl, “Humanity isn’t something you should be reckless with. Take it from somebody who was stripped of theirs without a choice. The only good thing to come from this eternal misery is finding you, so you don’t get to laugh and dance with the idea of death.”

Perhaps it’s the way every hair on your body is standing to attention, or maybe it’s the way you’re both drowning in the depths of his words. Whatever the reason, you begin to sob beneath him. Tears cloud your vision, your heart beating so hard you can feel it in your throat like a stone of sorrow. Jungkook doesn’t move, but his profile does relax upon watching you break down into floods of tears.

“I’m sorry.” You whimper, overcome with emotions that you’ve buried for so long.

“Your life is everything to me.” He hushes you, a long drawn-out sigh following his coos.

“Why… Why me?”

At this the vampire seems to lose himself, eyes frantic and wide with genuine disbelief, “Why you?! Why you?!” He lunges forward even more so, until his forehead rests against yours and his lips are a hair away from your teary face. When the words roll off his tongue they’re barely audible, whispered, but they’re powerful enough to cause your chest to tighten, “Why anyone else when you exist in this world?”

Swallowing, you find the courage to question his previous statement, “Why did you ask if I believe in fate?” You sniffle, eyes fluttering to a close when you’re being tugged into a seated position, your weight directly above Jungkook’s lap, “Do you really think we’re written in the stars?” Your hands find his face, your own body betraying you when the anger you felt for him mere moments ago dissipates into a yearning so utterly heart-shattering it takes your breath away. A feeling so indescribable you ponder if it were really written by the stars, because it’s unlike anything humanly possible.

“Is that what this is? Is that what’s happening between us?” You ask. Simply because from the moment his presence came into your life you’ve been nothing but drawn to him. Sure, you’re angry he lied. Yes, you may have just threatened your life in return for a simple favour from him. But why, why is it that the only ingredient in this messy mixture of life that makes you feel anything at all, is him?

He's cradling you now, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind your ear all while shaking his head, wearing a serious albeit vaguely haunted expression, “I don’t particularly think we’re written anywhere, not yet.” His icy cold thumb catches your falling tears, “But when I look at the stars all I see is you.”

“Please,” You plead, “Please help me save my brother.”

“On one condition.” Jungkook’s words are lost to the skin of your neck, where he’s inhaling your scent with closed eyes, dark lashes dusting the top of his cheekbones.

You pause, slightly panicked. There’s only one thing fathomably possible. He still wants your blood. To feed from you, to know the taste of your humanity trickling down his throat like water droplets of sin from a leaking pipe. That has to be it.

“That’s not it,” Jungkook interjects quietly, reading your mind with ease, “I’ll help you save your brother, but I’m not giving you my blood. I’ll give it to him directly.”

“But he lives six hours—”

“I would go to the ends of the earth for you Y/N. A six hour journey each way is nothing.” He chuckles, the sound floods your senses like a comfortable blanket from the past. “I’ve never begged for anything in this life, but please,” His tone drops an octave lower than usual, “Don’t ever threaten me like that again. Your life is a gift, you don’t need to treat it like a weapon against me. We’re on the same side.”

The human heart beats approximately four thousand times an hour. And every palpitation, each throb, pulse, beat, and pump of blood around your body is a reminder, a reward, for still being here. No matter how bad things may seem, there is light at the end of every tunnel.

Who would’ve thought your light would manifest as a centuries old vampire who’s haunted the corners of your mind since the moment you laid eyes on him.

--

Convincing you to allow Jungkook to visit your childhood home was no easy feat. Jungkook found himself repeating himself over and over, reassuring you that he will save your brother if you trust him enough to enter his private space. He knows he doesn’t deserve that trust though, not after lying to you about the true destination of your donations. But the moment you figured out his greatest weakness, his only weakness, and used it to your advantage – he knew he was in too deep.

The idea of losing you, be it to the brown soil of the earth or to the thirst of eternal life, is something that Jungkook cannot physically handle. It’s still a mystery to him why your blood smells different to others, but there’s no doubt in his mind that you and he are connected by the moon. The moon has a dark side that nobody ever sees, hidden and overlooked by the beautiful glow of the surface moonlight. And yet neither can exist without the other – something Jungkook never truly understood until he met you.

Where there is darkness, there is light. Where there is Jungkook, there is you.

At some point he managed to convince you this is the best way – the only way he’s willing – to help your brother. Being immortal is a curse, not in the sense of watching everybody you’ve ever loved grow grey and die, but in the sense of being able to hear every mortal thought around him. To feel every emotion coursing a human’s mind every second of the day. Truthfully he’s never cared for humanity before, it took him almost two centuries to drown out the noise they give off, but he eventually did it. Again, until he met you.

“My mom’s going to be suspicious of this, you know that right?” You sigh, somewhat agitated. “There’s no way this is going to work.”

It’s almost seven pm and you’re both sitting uncomfortably on the edge of a motel mattress. For obvious reasons you wouldn’t allow Jungkook to sleep at your mom’s house. And so the façade of being your ‘boyfriend’ and the two of you ‘needing your own space’ was created. Hence the motel a mile away from Eddie’s space.

“Is the idea of us being together really that unbelievable?” Jungkook’s pierced brow quirks, lips curling into a small smile. “I would argue that we suit each other quite well.” He hums, watching you lace up your white sneakers.

You’re wearing a grey oversized t shirt dress today, while Jungkook finds it difficult to keep up with the trends of human fashion – for example in his youth a woman would’ve never exposed so much skin - he admits you look nice. Simple yet ‘grungy’ with a black leather jacket draped over your shoulders.

“You’re a vampire,” You remind him with a flat voice, emotionless, recently it’s been hard for Jungkook to decipher your thoughts because you’ve been so guarded around him. But he understands, giving what’s happened, “And even if by some miracle she doesn’t realise, you have face tattoos. There’s no way she’s going to like you.” You snort, shaking your head.

Jungkook stands, looking over the new outfit you picked out on his behalf for this occasion in the full-length mirror. A black turtleneck, presumably to cover the tattoos littering the flesh there, paired with slacks and a leather jacket of the same colour. He’s still smiling, brushing raven hair back between his inked fingertips.

“Well luckily for you the purpose of me being here is not to impress your mother.”

“Let’s just get this over with.”

Soon enough you’re standing on your mother’s porch, fingers laced with Jungkook’s in an attempt to come off as a normal couple. Your mother is under the impression you arrived just now, when in reality you arrived last night. Of course you couldn’t visit her during the day, not unless you wanted Jungkook to burst into ash where he stands. Truthfully? Giving how you’ve been acting around him he thinks there’s a part of you that wants nothing more than just that. But even he knows you feel it too, the lunar pull between your souls binding and entwining you with each and every passing second you spend in the other’s company.

The term ‘true mate’ has been thrown around over the centuries, Jungkook never believed in such destiny because he had never experienced it. But –

“Y/N, you came.” Your mom smiles, interrupting his train of thought. Her expression drops as soon as she register’s your ‘boyfriends’ presence beside you. Her eyes flicker to where your hands meet, and Jungkook has to bite back a laugh at your mother’s thoughts.

So this is the guy who’s stolen my daughter’s heart. Stolen sounds about right. This guy definitely has a criminal record. Divine Sinner? Either he’s a pretentious asshole or he’s in a cult. She can do better, I never expected her to choose someone like him.

“Hello, Jungkook is it?” She feigns a smile, “When Y/N told me she had a boyfriend I didn’t believe her… So nice to meet you.” She’s laughing now, though her eyes have been replaced by sharp daggers boring into the depths of Jungkook’s immortal being.

“Pleasure to meet you too ma’am.” He grins, somewhat amused by the whole situation. He could kill her immediately, right here on the spot where she stands, and it’s not like you would bat an eyelid because your thoughts are just as malevolent as hers.

Been here less than two minutes and she’s already judging me, sounds about right. Why couldn’t it have been her that got sick? Why Eddie? He’s a good person, a much better person than she is. Just keep it together Y/N you’re not here to catch up.

“Well… Come in.” There’s a spike of hesitation to her request, followed by a flash of panic behind her aged eyes that doesn’t go a miss by Jungkook. She suspects.

“I’ll fix us some tea, you must be tired after that long flight. Y/N do you have the money for—”

Your mother’s words fade into nothing, Jungkook’s been invited into the home but still it’s difficult to be in here. It’s bleak, unpersonal and the entire place is flooded with rose thorn. The stench of it is almost enough to have him gasping for air, but thankfully he doesn’t exactly need to breathe. So she’s paranoid about vampires. Very paranoid it seems. And then it clicks into place, it was definitely your mother who poisoned you before, suspicious of what you had been getting up to in the city. It all makes sense now.

There’s no way in hell he’s drinking that tea.

--

As expected your mother is dubious of your ‘relationship’ with the giant tattooed man you’ve darkened her doorstep with. It’s comical in a way, how she barely knows her own daughter but has somehow managed to instantly pick up on the web of lies. It’s almost three hours after you arrive that you’re allowed to see your twin brother in the makeshift hospital room, even after you’ve being asking her nonstop. But she’s been too busy grilling Jungkook tirelessly, curiously cocking her head to one side when he said he didn’t like tea. She fucking hates him.

The air is tainted by the smell of bleach in here, but it’s not enough to steal your concentration. You’re here for a reason. Jungkook’s here for a reason.

You’re sitting beside your frail looking brother with a heart so full of pain that you fear it could burst. Feeling so helpless, so useless, so desperate for your mother to leave the room so Jungkook can do what he came here to do. Truthfully you don’t know if bringing him here was the right choice, but it was the only way he agreed to help Eddie.

Surprisingly he hasn’t mentioned your donations since the other night, and you’re grateful for that. You’re grateful that you didn’t follow through with your threat and that you’re still alive. No words have been uttered about what happened that night at Euphoria, it’s just another elephant in the room, much like the presence of the woman who birthed you.

“Mom why don’t you go make some more tea before we head back to our hotel?” You try, growing impatient.

As usual Eddie is unconscious, knocked out from the various medications he’s taking to help battle his undiagnosable terminal illness. All you need is to distract your mom long enough to give Jungkook the chance to do his thing. His thing being saving his life.

“I’ll go make us some more…” She agrees albeit a little sceptically, but not before glaring at Jungkook with pinched brows. “I’ll be right back.” No sooner than she leaves the room Jungkook is standing by your brother in the blink of an eye. Right, vampire speed.

“Well you were right about one thing, she definitely hates me.” Jungkook chuckles, leaning down to your brothers neck where he inhales his scent, a look of confusion blanketing his handsome features.

“Like you said you’re not here to impress her, hurry up.” You whisper. Perhaps you’re being too harsh on him recently, so he lied to you. But he’s also here with you right now, about to save your brother’s life with his own blood. However this situation came to be is irrelevant, he’s here now.

There’s a growing tension in the room, but not due to the obvious limited time frame. And for once the tension isn’t stemming from a deep-seeded illegal lust between you two. Jungkook’s dark hair is long, parted in the middle as it always is and dusting his eyes. But even that’s not enough to mask the worry and realisation that’s brimming behind them. He’s completely still, frozen, like he’s glued to the floor, weighed down by his thick frown.

“What’s wrong?” You panic, fearing the worst. In a frenzied moment of distain your head snaps to one of the monitors Eddie is hooked up to, a cocktail of joy and dread bubbling inside your chest upon seeing his heartbeat. He’s still alive, you exhale with relief. So why the hesitation?

“Jungkook.”

“Y/N…” He swallows, briefly wetting his lips, “We should leave.”

“No!” You whisper-shout, rising from the coral armchair, pointing at him, “You promised me, you fucking promised. Don’t you dare back out now, don’t you dare! Help him!” You plead, anxiety heightening when you hear the sound of footsteps making their way down the hallway.

Of course Jungkook makes it back to his seat in time, pulling your sleeve down with him so that you too are sitting by the time your mother opens the old dining room door. You glance at her, half confused when she’s not holding any tea, half infuriated that she’d been gone no longer than two minutes. One hundred and twenty seconds, that’s nowhere near long enough.

She doesn’t trust you. She doesn’t trust Jungkook.

“I’m all out of tea,” She admits, vaguely embarrassed, “Can I get you anything else? Jungkook? Would you finally like something to drink?” The way his name rolls off her tongue leaves a sour taste in your mouth, it’s as clear as the stars in the sky that she dislikes him. You feel… Annoyed. Which is hilarious, considering right now you don’t particularly like him either. Why the hell did he stop –

“No thank you,” Your fake boyfriend hums politely, ignoring the icy stare of your mom, “Actually I think we should get going to our hotel now, but it was lovely to meet you ma’am. And Eddie, of course. I know he’s always on Y/N’s mind, he means a lot to her.”

The underlying truth to his words makes you nauseous, a brutal reminder of the fact he can always read your thoughts. Wherever, whenever. As long as he’s in your space, he’s in your head. And dare you say it, a little in your heart too.

“Okay, will you be popping back in tomorrow before your flight home?” She asks, somewhat cockily. As though she knows she’s made him uncomfortable.

At this you sniff, winning their attention before loosely gripping Eddie’s hand and kissing the back of it, “I’ll let you know.”

There are moments in life when all rational goes out the window. Shattering the glass into teeny tiny pieces of rage and slicing anybody nearby. And when you get back to the motel, Jungkook locking the door behind you, this is one of those very moments.

“What the fuck Jungkook?!” You’re emotional, infuriated and disgusted in yourself for trusting him in the first place. “Why did you hesitate? You promised, you fucking promise—”

“Sit down.” He bites, nostrils flared and chest puffed up like a predator looking at its prey. Actually there is no like about it, that’s exactly what’s happening.

The motel room is cheap and cheerful, eccentrically decorated and you’re certain the walls between adjacent rooms must be very thin. You don’t want to make a scene, nor do you want to entertain a battle you will no doubt lose. So you submit to his demand, body practically vibrating with rage bubbling at the surface.

“Your brother can’t be saved.”

“You said a drop of your blood could cure any human—”

“Exactly. Any human disease.” The way Jungkook emphasises the word human sends a pang of dread straight to your stomach lining. Your heart quickens, he can sense it too, you can tell by the way the masculine bump of his throat bobs up and down when he swallows uncomfortably.

There’s a pause, you barely register Jungkook turning on a nearby lamp you’re so lost in thought, “What… What are you saying?”

You feel numb when he sits beside you, tossing his leather jacket to the ground, “So that’s why you smell different to others…” He hums, mulling over his own thoughts, “You and your brother, you’re cursed.”

“Cursed? What so we’re not human? Is that why he’s sick?!” You’re frantic, paranoid and scared all at once. “What do you mean? What, what’s happening to him? Why do I—”

“It’s the curse of the Pi Gasu.” He says, as though you have any inkling of what he’s talking about – you do not.

“Jungkook I don’t know what that means.”

“How much do you know about your father?” His brows knit inquisitively, he’s so transfixed by his own thought process that he’s not looking at you. Instead, he lays back on the motel bed, crossing his legs and staring at the ceiling.

“I… He was an asshole, he beat my mom and me and Eddie—”

“He hurt you?” With that the vampire sits up straight, back so stiff that he looks as though he’s been purposely posed that way, eyes wide and brimming with rage so much so the ghoulish tinge of red appears. “Where is he?”

“He left us when I was young… I don’t know. I don’t care about him, tell me why you can’t save my brother even though you promised me you would.” The desperation in your tone is unmissable, you crumple forward, clutching your aching chest. Leaving Jungkook to stare at your back hopelessly. With your elbows to your knees, head in your hands, you well up with tears.

“There’s a reason a vampire mating with a human is illegal,” He begins, wanting to reach out and comfort you with his hands down your back, but he refrains, “Not just because it’s dangerous for the human. Our inhumane strength and uncontrollable lust that kicks in when we’re aroused means that there’s very few humans that live through the ordeal. But it’s worse for the ones who do.”

You sniffle, turning your head to face him. Trying to piece together how this has anything to do with your brother. But you let him continue, holding his intense gaze with a racing heart.

“The ones who survive have a higher chance of conceiving, because of our supernatural powers it’s almost always a guaranteed pregnancy even if protection is used. So… What can happen is something called the curse of the Pi Gasu. It translates to blood singer in Korean, which is where my kind are said to originate from, long before the tales of Count Dracula and Edward Cullen.” He scoffs, fighting to urge to roll his eyes.

“It can only happen in biological twins with one human parent, one vampire. As you can imagine it’s exceptionally rare, there aren’t many humans who survive a night with one of us. The DNA splits itself in the womb, one twin will remain human and the other will be cursed to a life like mine once they reach transition. It usually happens around the age of twenty five.”

“It’s called the Pi Gasu curse because the other twin, the human twin, is cursed too. The way they smell, the way they look… Everything about them is irresistible to a vampire. It’s the universes way of restoring balance in the world for creating a born predator… The curse births the ultimate prey too. Their scent changes the same time as their twins transition. There’s nothing I can do, your brother’s in his transition.”

Your jaw turns slack, a cold shiver running your spine while you try to process everything that he’s saying. Thinking as far back as you can remember you can’t recall your father ever leaving the house in the day time, he was a drunk, he used to stay home and sleep all day to recover from his nightly alcoholic antics. But to accuse him of being a creature of the night? To accuse your mother, however twisted she may be, of mating with one?

Is that why she hates vampires so much? Is that why Eddie’s disease is undiagnosable?

“T-there’s… There’s no way.” You’re speechless, blood running ice cold.

“Y/N I caught his scent, I know this is hard to process but it’s his destiny to be a vampire. Just as much as it’s your destiny to be killed by one.” There’s a sadness lingering in the air, but it all starts to make some kind of senseless sense to you.

“When will it happen…?” You whisper, eyes fluttering shut, “If what you're saying is true when will he turn?”

Jungkook clears his throat, pushing himself to your body until he’s close enough to cup your cheeks in his large palms. As always, there are so many lost words behind his features. So many possible outcomes of what will tumble from those tempting lips of his, but nothing, nothing could’ve prepared you for the truth.

“The transition will be complete the moment you die.”

“No.” You shake your head, frowning, “There has to be another way…”

“In my experience it’s the only way to end his suffering.” Jungkook murmurs, pulling you even closer until he’s cradling you in his arms. “I’m so sorry.”

You curl up to his strong chest sobbing, squeezing him tightly. And so it was written that Eddie would be cursed to an immortal life, a life that you know he hates the mere idea of because of how your mother had raised you. In addition to that, the only way to save him from his endless pain and suffering is for you to be killed. Truthfully you’ve never felt as though your life served much purpose, if any at all. You can’t help but ponder if this has been the reason why, if your soul has known this all along.

“How do you know there’s no other way?”

“Because it was the same for me. My twin sister… She-, the night she was killed was the night I turned. The day after our twenty-sixth birthday. And I’ve lived with that burden for almost eight hundred years.” His sombre tone catches you off guard, this is the first time he’s ever delved into his personal human life. It’s a bittersweet moment.

"Pi Gasu vampires are different from bitten ones. We were born for this life so we're stronger, we can sense human emotions and the venom from our bite is excruciatingly painful to humans... It's why I don't feed from the vein."

Jungkook plants a kiss to your temple before he speaks again, “But we’ll find another way—”

“No… I don’t want my brother to be in pain anymore.” You admit with a deflated sigh, accepting your fate. Nothing compares to how you feel for your brother. No amount of friendship, no amount of hurt, joy or love would ever compare. He’s your twin brother, and you’ll do whatever it takes for him to survive this. Even if you don’t.

“I’ve told you before, your life is everything to me. I’m not going to lose you. Not in this life, not in any life. I would endure a thousand more miserable lifetimes, a thousand different worlds with endless sorrow, if it meant in just one I could find you. And I have, I'm not prepared to let you go.”

“You’re only saying this because of the curse.” You pull back, almost nose-to-nose with Jungkook who’s wearing the faintest hint of a smile. “If this is all true… The only reason you’re drawn to me is because of some stupid curse.”

“No,” He shakes his head, pressing his forehead to yours, “The curse may be the reason I want to kill you. But your soul is the reason I haven't.”

“My soul.” You chuckle, the prospect of having one now you know you were destined to die is both comical and fascinating to you. What’s the point in having a soul it ultimately you would always end up here.

Why is it the closer we get to death, the more we desire to live?

Jungkook looks you dead in the eye, your thoughts clouding his own. He tightens his hold of you, his pierced lips a hair away from yours when he uses words to comfort you. But all they do is break your heart tenfold, because deep down you know he’s right.

“I know you feel this too… Sometimes it’s not the butterflies that tell you you’re in love, rather the pain.”

x

[gffa]

I don't understand why people didn't like OB1 series. It makes me really sad and doubt my own enjoyment. Are they just louder that I hear about it? Are they seeing something I'm not? You liked it right? ☹️

It really depends on where you hang out, I've found. I'm sure there are a myriad of reasons some people didn't like it, from stupid reasons to valid reasons, but if you hung out in this corner of tumblr at all, it was like three straight months of screaming about how much we all loved it. Here's the bigger truth about Star Wars and what people like/don't like: Star Wars fandom is full of people who often don't seem to even like Star Wars, I have seen negative about literally everything in the franchise for whatever reason. You can't let other people's opinions sway you, because the whole thing is ridiculous bullshit, arguing over whether something Star Wars is "good" or not is like, you guys are aware we're in the pew pew fandom, right? The vrooom swoosh fandom? Even if some of it is good, we're still arguing about a ridiculous bullshit franchise with characters named Elan Sleazebaggano and Therm Scissorpunch. Anyone who tries to make you feel like you should doubt your own enjoyment is being dumb as hell, we're all in the same stupid boat. This is setting aside that there are genuine issues to talk about sometimes, that it's fine to treat Star Wars seriously, I do it all the time! And it's fine to talk about shows that cross into social issues territory and how they handle those issues, because those are important things to discuss What I'm talking about is, "You like that Star Wars? You have bad taste! This other Star Wars is so much better!"  The best response is, “Babe, please, that’s the most hilarious thing I’ve heard and I’m in Star Wars fandom, I’ve heard a lot of hilarious things.” It can be hard to like something when it feels like everyone around you disliked it, I’ve been there.  But if you hunt around a bit, you’ll eventually find your people and, believe me, we’re here and we’re still happy to scream about how good that show was, how it was an amazing character piece about a broken love story between two characters, and that the press around it was absolutely phenomenal.

[mattastr0phic]

Hello! I really enjoy your art it’s super cute and stylized, and I love the way you draw Clef as a system, that’s a super cool interpretation of the character and all of their alter’s designs are so cool!! Dr Myriad is very silly as well, her design is SO COOL and I love the idea that he can shapeshift with the use of the amulet as well!! I was wondering, it seems like there’s something that you didn’t like about the rewrite of Dr. Bright as Dr. Shaw (prompting you to create Myriad) but I wasn’t able to find exactly what that is that you dislike about him. I’m aware of the original Bright drama, but is there something additional I’ve missed with Dr. Shaw? Thanks so much!

Thank you so much! The reason why I'm not as inclined to use Shaw is partly due to how DJK primarily just used them for clout. For a while I didn't even know that Shaw is actually made by Daisy, who is a victim of AB.

Unfortunately a lot of people also didn't know this and were HARD on supporting Shaw only to suck on DJK, and encounters with these people even in civil discussion was honestly disgusting. Many of them did NOT actually respect the point of Shaw and even said that what the victims went through wasn't their problem.

Of course, these are personal experiences, and preferably everyone who uses Shaw knows why they exist and acknowledges the huge problems in wiki staff and abuse of power and people that have led up to this point.

Currently I do respect Shaw by Daisy and those who acknowledge what's happened and chose to use them, I just wish I didn't encounter people who put a bad taste in my mouth about using them myself. It may be a while till I feel alright about drawing Shaw. For now, I would simply rather not have Myriad tagged as other rewrites, and keep to my little corner here.

[crabussy]

Hey if it isn't too much trouble, could you give me some tips/things to keep in mind when interacting with fictives?

I'd love to!! thank you so much for this ask, it presents a fantastic opportunity to explain many things (((:

firstly, this is specific to my system. Every system functions differently, and there will be systems out there who this doesn't apply to. It's best to ask them personally if you're unsure about something!!

a few things to keep in mind when interacting with fictives:

questioning them about actions their source character did is a no-go in most cases, since they weren't the ones who made that decision and can't really provide justification. It causes discomfort and often we aren't sure how to respond, kind of like if you were a twin and someone asked you why your twin did something. you don't know, you share their DNA and upbringing but you're not them!!

treat them like their own person!! don't ask for secrets from their source, don't treat them how a fan would treat a character. "oh my gosh I can't believe I'm actually meeting you!! you're my favourite character from X" doesn't come across the best, they're real people not just your favourite character!! it's 100% ok to be excited though.

ask how much they identify with their source!! some fictives want to distance themselves from their source entirely, some want to be seen as their source as much as possible, and some may be indifferent. knowing this can absolutely help with interactions!!

don't compare their personality to their source- by this I mean if they say something/act in a way you feel their source wouldn't, you shouldn't point it out, for a myriad of reasons but mainly again they are their own person. they don't owe you canon accuracy, and it can really hurt peoples feelings to be told this. imagine you're just talking and the person you're talking to stops you and says "yeah but you wouldn't say it like that." hello?? I am me????

bringing up relationships that happened in their source (be it romantic, platonic, familial, enemies) can be an iffy topic. often the fictive will either miss that person immensely, or feel distant and uncomfortable about them due to having never actually met them. either way, best not to bring it up- unless that person is also in the system!! it's usually alright in that scenario but still be careful.

tl;dr: treat them like a person not a fictional character, don't overstep their boundaries, don't force them to comply to their source's canon, be respectful when discussing their source.

thanks for the question!! if anyone seeing this has any questions/queries about systems don't be afraid to ask!! I'm always happy to help out and educate others however I can (:

if any other systems have experiences/guidelines for interacting with fictives they'd like to share, please do!!

[sshbpodcast]

Bonk bonk on the head: Children in Star Trek

By Ames

There are myriad reasons why your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By don’t usually care for children characters in our Star Trek, most of which are highly subjective and involve how much we dislike kids in general for being obnoxious, snotty, blithering miscreants. But that may just be me. What’s a more reasonable and less obstinate reason for disliking them so much of the time is that writers have no idea how to write for children characters, and all too frequently (especially in older shows) these youngsters just don’t have the acting chops even if the writers could give them something to do.

So let’s let the children run rampant as we go through what makes a good child character in a show like any of the classic Trek series. Which kids get a pat on the head and which get the infamous bonk bonk? Read on below for their report cards and listen to us pass notes in class over on this week’s episode of the podcast (discussion at 59:10). Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Unruly mobs of kids

What would one call a group of children in a Star Trek show? An anomaly of children? A supermassive black hole of children? Regardless, the worst kids come in bunches. When there’s a horde of them running around, you can tell we’re going to have a bad time on this podcast because obnoxiousness is exponential and also because it means the writers are probably using the children as some kind of general plot device. We see this in “When the Bough Breaks” and “And the Children Shall Lead” when the whole point of the episodes is to save a mass of mewling children from whatever nonsense we’ve gotten messed up in. Was it worth it to save these brats? You be the judge.

We get smaller groups of children in “Disaster” and “Innocence,” but their purpose is mostly the same: to test the patience of whichever officer they’re stuck with during some kind of crisis so that they can come out the other side slightly more developed. It’s not about the kids themselves; it’s about how our hero character grows. Picard, who notoriously hates kids, is stuck in a turbolift with three pissants in scenes that might as well be torture. And Tuvok pushes his Vulcan patience to the brink, putting up with three Drayan kids who harbor the dumbest secret the show could have attempted.

But the “Miri” kids really take the cake, despite introducing us to Phil and Iona Morris, whom we still love. But dang, kids in the 60s just couldn’t act. The two lead kids were played by freakin’ adults, having to play children who were prepubescent because there was no way they could carry an episode otherwise. Aside from being utterly distracted by those two, we found the rest of the episode felt like watching the crew get put in charge of a particularly rowdy daycare. This episode gets two bonks on the head.

—

My parent is a big deal at the Starfleet factory

In your typical monster-of-the-week episodic television, these children of the week get a brief moment in the sun just because their parents are Starfleet (or uncles… or godparents… listen you try making a list like this). They don’t get to stick around long enough to really develop, and thus they get one episode to resolve whatever their conflict is, and thusly thus, they start falling into that same category in which they feel more like props than characters. Take Ian Troi from “The Child” and Clara Sutter from “Imaginary Friend” for example. Both are merely serving as the impetus to get the story to the ending. And strangely, it’s the same ending: we learn the little kid was just an alien trying to learn about our culture through the eyes of a child. Like they say: if I had a nickel for every time this happened, I’d have two nickels, but it’s still weird it happened twice in the same damn show.

Similarly, consider Belle and Jeffrey, the EMH’s holochildren from “Real Life.” They are quite literally props, first that the Doctor creates to allow him the experience of simulated parenting, and second that are used very blatantly to develop his character. I’d say they’re both acted quite well (Belle’s final scene is really quite lovely), but they are not here to be characters, but caricatures. René Picard fills a similar role in the Picard family in the episode “Family.” He doesn’t get a ton to do, but he mostly represents the conflict between brothers Jean-Luc and Robert: one part the explorer among the stars and one part loyal to the family. Which will René choose? Never mind, he burns in a fire. So much for exploring the duality of character that Jean-Luc himself struggles with. The poor thing.

Janeway’s godson Q Junior from “Q2” might be a slightly better executed example in this category, and it’s probably because Keegan de Lancie can act. And was a teen at the time. And because the episode was about him developing as a character instead of being used to propel someone else’s development or to get us to the end of a science fiction story. If it weren’t for the sorta twist ending, he’d fit well in our next mass of children…

—

Orphan boys on the airlock-step

You’d think Star Trek were a Disney movie with just how many orphaned children are running around, looking for guidance from crew members whose expertise is questionable at best. Since we get stuck with most of these kids because of some kind of accident or crisis or bad sale made by Quark, it’s a little bit understandable that they come with a big helping of emotional baggage. Which, frankly, gives them something the previous group of children didn’t have: a starting personality trait. On Deep Space Nine, for instance, we meet Rubal in “Cardassians,” the child of a gul who is raised by Bajorans to hate his biological people, and also the Jem’Hadar child from “The Abandoned” whom Odo attempts to raise to not be so bloodthirsty but fails because it’s in his DNA. These are kids we feel for because they are forced to confront the racism inherent in our societies, especially when O’Brien is around!

Next Gen is just teeming with orphans and we get a couple whose parents in Starfleet get killed in the line of duty when we meet Jeremy Aster in “The Bonding” and Timothy in “Hero Worship.” Each latches on to an Enterprise crewmember (Worf and Data, respectively) as a way to cope with their grief, and their stories are actually pretty empathetic… though they’d be more so if they weren’t child actors from the 90s.

We talked a little on the podcast this week about our keening friend Jono from “Suddenly Human” and how his story is a very thought-provoking one. Sure, the boy himself is a freaking monster I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially Picard, but when you cut through his tough exterior and upsetting misogyny, there is a child who harbors a great deal of trauma, reforged identity, and love for his adoptive father Endar, whom you’ll remember from our Parents blogpost!

—

Girl scout troop leaders

It’s a little strange that we see so many times little kids – little girls in particular – who act as tour guides to their culture. Perhaps it’s that we can understand another complex society more easily when it’s through the innocent eyes and uncomplicated language of children, and all these young girl scouts are just so naturally sweet, caring, and empathetic that they want to help our crew members through their scrapes. Oji from “Who Watches the Watchers” and Gia from “Thine Own Self” fit this bill to a tee. Each comes from a less developed society, but their curiosity and open minds urge them to want to learn about the newcomers to their villages and also to help these newcomers learn about them in return.

We also have two young leaders in this group in Salia from “The Dauphin” and Varis Sul from “The Storyteller.” These two episodes are basically the same story: 1) young princess needs to learn how to lead her society; 2) a love interest on the ship / space station makes googoo eyes at her; 3) everyone learns a lesson in how to treat people. Are they way too young to be leading their people? Absolutely. But they’re actually the perfect age to introduce the audience to their culture and put a friendly face on a bunch of weird aliens.

One more little girl who introduces us to her culture is Hedril in “Dark Page,” who reminds Lwaxana of her late daughter Kestra so much she goes into a coma about it. Hedril herself does a good job of serving as the literal voice of her people, and her youth is actually appropriate for her role because her mind is flexible enough to adapt to new languages and new experiences that the Cairn adults struggle with. We’ll even see a couple more of these plucky gals in our next section since they’re so ubiquitous. 

—

Can we adopt these kids?

So what gets you on our list of favorite minor or one-off children from all of classic Trek? It seems to be as simple as the ability to surprise us. Good science fiction characters have layers, and the kids on our best list are all more than meets the eye. Two kids who turn out to be more than what they seem are Barash from “Future Imperfect” and Taya from “Shadowplay,” neither of whom are actually the little children they appear to be on the outside and that just makes them all the more lovable. Whether you’re a little alien boy with a holoprojector who could also fit in our orphans category and who just wants a play date, or a little hologram girl who herself is basically a walking, talking dolly, these kids can stick around.

We’re also fans of Sarjenka from “Pen Pals,” yet another from our troop of girl scouts here to put a cute face on the periled people she’s literally the voice of. Her innocence, childlike wonder, and ingenuity to basically work a HAM radio are enough to make us shatter the Prime Directive any day. We haven’t gotten to Enterprise on the podcast yet, but be prepared to really root for Sim when we hit “Similitude.” His story is so tragic and empathetic that it’ll definitely elicit some kind of emotional response, so make sure you’re following the podcast when we hit that episode for a really heart-wrenching spin on a child character.

Hands down though, our favorite kid character has got to be Mezoti, the droneling we first picked up in “Collective.” From the moment we meet her, she just screams personality. It certainly helps that she’s got the leg up on most other children because she’s also got the collected experiences of the Borg Collective to pull from, but that gives her some interesting layers of depth and adds conflict into her complex character in ways even adult characters don’t always get. Resistance to her character was indeed futile.

—

Main character kids

These kids are kinda in a class all their own because we see them enough that they’re really part of the family. Literally! They grow up in front of our eyes on their respective shows, and our connections with them vary wildly depending on their writing. Molly O’Brien and Alexander Rozhenko, for instance, are [usually] both so very young that they’re more props than characters. You can’t really expect stellar acting out of children that small and predictably we don’t get it, often to infuriating effect. Working around children’s limited abilities and scheduling regulations makes some of these episodes just a pain to watch, no matter how cute they are.

The bigger kids like Wesley Crusher and Naomi Wildman (thank goodness for Ktarian aging!) have it easier because they can actually be relied upon to do things. Some would say Wesley sucks as much as his sweaters, but I contend that it’s that the writers let the plot dictate his character instead of the other way around. They need Wesley to save the day all the time to show how he’s a child prodigy, infuriating all the adults around him who should have the run of the room. When the seasons progress and Wil Wheaton leaves the main cast, the focus on his appearances is more character based than plot based, like in some great performances in “Final Mission,” “The Game,” and “Journey’s End.” Naomi, on the other hand, just gets to be a kid! And she’s great at it! We see her in lots of settings and scenarios that are appropriate for her age, and whenever she does something clever, it’s because she’s being taught how to be clever, not showing up everyone around her. And when she’s the focus of an episode like “Once Upon a Time,” she really proves that she’s a character first and a literary device much much further down the list.

Jake Sisko is basically the poster child of how to write a child character in Star Trek, or even just in general. He’s defined by his relationships with people, not by what an episode needs from him. The father-son bond that we talked about in our Parents post is on high display, as well as his friendship with Nog, a child character who already has a leg up because he’s portrayed by a more experienced adult actor in Aaron Eisenberg, giving young Cirroc Lofton something to work with instead of against. Jake and Nog are both allowed to just be kids! To grow naturally, to get in trouble, to develop into more faceted people as children do. The science fiction nature of the show is just the setting, not the entirety of their characters and it’s a delight to watch their earnest portrayals and the people they become.

— Ollie ollie oxen free! We’re going to give everyone a time out just to get a little peace and quiet around here, so keep your eyes here for more posts, follow along as we near the end of our watchthrough of Voyager over on SoundCloud or wherever you listen to podcasts, hang out with us on Facebook and Twitter, and don’t trust those pesky grups!

[patzweigz]

i was someone who voted negatively on your genderbend poll. i just got curious and stopped to see if you'd said anything about the results, and i wanted to say i find your thoughts interesting and appreciate you writing them. it's not something i truly see very often, but approached from an actual standpoint of exploration i can see where there would be appeal. i also found it interesting that you mentioned both the difference in people who relate heavily to characters and the lack of people genderbending couples to be gay specifically, because it made me stop and examine the fact that me and my partner actually do that constantly. we frequently take popular straight couples and read them as being like us, since my boyfriend's presentation is much more like "girl who is a gay man" than anything more clear cut. i guess the real point here is that i've always trusted gender itself to be something very nuanced and something the person experiencing it knows better than i do, but i hadn't put a lot of thought into the myriad reasons why and how someone could experience a more theoretical, fictional exploration that i and people i know had previously experienced as mostly negative. a lot of the time it probably still will not be for me, but i think i can recognize more of what i consume as being fundamentally a similar thing. anyway, i hope you have a great day

OMG thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

i'm elated to know someone read what i had to write, lol. i appreciate hearing your perspective-- especially the note about making straight couples gay! it seems that's often the most widely accepted form of fictional gender exploration in fandom circles, when it happens at all; it reminded me of the more general trend of taking straight couples and saying the man in them is a he/him lesbian, which people do with a varying degree of seriousness. i also think on the trans people i know in my life who, for a variety of reasons both chosen and not, are perceived differently than their internal sense of gender (in a manner almost exactly how you described your boyfriend, even). hell, this even applies to me! which is probably another why i'm a fan of the trope, frankly.

at any rate, though, i'm really glad that we (collective we here) are in a place where discussion about it can be tabled as opposed to shut down entirely. thanks again for your message!

[morebedsidebooks]

We Had to Remove This Post by Hanna Bervoets

They want me to give them something new, things they’d never dare look at, things that are far beyond their imagination, which is why Gregory asks, “But what’s the worst thing you ever saw?” rather than “How is that girl doing now? Were you able to help her, by any chance?” God no, people have no idea what my previous job actually entailed, and that’s partly your fault, Mr. Stitic. After all the news about the lawsuit you’re filing on behalf of my former colleagues, people believe that we all sat there in front of our screens like zombies, that we didn’t know what we were doing, had no idea what we’d gotten ourselves into, that out of the blue we were bombarded with thousands of sickening images that short-circuited the synapses in our brains almost instantly—well, it wasn’t like that. At least not entirely, and not for everyone.

A book for the online age We Had to Remove This Post by Hanna Bervoets is (unreliably) narrated by Kayleigh, a former content moderator at [redacted] company for [redacted] major social media platform. A company now in the hot seat of the media spotlight facing a lawsuit brought by ex-employees. But Kayleigh, a lesbian, in therapy and dogged by a lawyer representing some of her old colleagues, only grudgingly reveals both the disturbing reason she finally quit and why she wants no part of the lawsuit and public circus.

In the world of Trust and Safety when it comes to content moderation, as I can parse it no other way, it’s fucked up and a job that will fuck you up. This is what one must keep foremost in mind while engaging with any work set around such. Fucked up content, guidelines, entities, and people. Like the context, perception, and decisions the characters in We Had to Remove This Post must examine and render, readers are probably in for some similar difficulties in considering this psychological work of fiction.

Too a shorter format the novella (which fits this title more than novel) can in the best examples carry weight as longer works in literature. However, the writing here does not give pause where it would appear necessary or, veers rather tangentially for a period of the page count. Is this corresponding to the shifting and flawed nature of the subject or, a subject just too deep for the setup? For all the examples of myriad content that gets flagged and reported to come up, I also found it odd this story sidesteps discussing one of the most disturbing and actionable (often illegal) types of material—that involving child sexual abuse or exploitation. As basic as it can get.

However, it is clear the Dutch author Bervoets does want to shine a light on the working conditions of commercial content moderators worldwide. Supplying a selected bibliography of nonfiction sources into such topics. At least worth the read, even if the fictional story is found lacking.

We Had to Remove This Post by Hanna Bervoets is available in English translated by Emma Rault, in print and digital (including audio) from Harper

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — WELCOME TO MARE COSMIA, BAI YI. 🌗

ꕥ  — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: Chloe age: 26 pronouns: she/they ooc contact: @corpseborne on twitter other characters in xc: Chief, Jinx

ꕥ  — IC INFORMATION;

name: Bai Yi age: 29 pronouns: she/her series: Path to Nowhere canon point: chapter 13 app triggers: Mention of recreational drinking

personality: Hopeless. Lazy. Charlatan. Slacker. All things that have been used- and no doubt will be used again- to describe Bai Yi. Although she claims to take great pride in her reputation, it also seems that she puts in absolutely no effort to maintain it, racking up numerous debts and failing to deliver on myriad promises all in pursuit of a cold beer, good food, and a fun time. She’s playful, fun, cheeky, loyal- not to mention completely unserious and utterly unreliable. It can be easy to imagine how Bai Yi makes friends, but it’s a little more difficult to imagine how she keeps them, considering how hard it is to feel like you can depend on her.

And that’s it, isn’t it? What you see is what you get. That might as well be her motto at this rate.

It’s difficult to pry past Bai Yi’s careless demeanour to find anything of substance. But if you’re tenacious- and skeptical- enough, the cracks begin to show. While it isn’t fair to say her attitude towards life is entirely an act (nobody drinks that much beer or eats that much hotpot without really really enjoying it) it’s also difficult to shake the feeling that she might be… hamming it up a little. Bai Yi is a woman haunted by her past, living on a knife’s edge, the hounds of her betrayal constantly nipping at her heels- and she is utterly terrified of that past coming back to hurt the ones she loves most. But if you were to suggest to someone that the pest of Syndicate was not only a dangerous individual, but frighteningly competent when it mattered most… Well, they’d look at you like you’re crazy, wouldn’t they? And rightfully so! What you see is what you get. ;) 

something your muse struggles with: Transparency. Although she retains a playful attitude about it, Bai Yi is more guarded than most people you’ll meet. Vulnerabilities are rarely suffered to slip through the cracks. 

your muse’s greatest strength: Loyalty. Although she tries her hardest to make it feel like depending on her is a fool’s game, the ones who know her best know that Bai Yi will go to the ends of the earth to make sure her loved ones are safe and happy.

history / background: Frustratingly little is known about Bai Yi’s true origins- that is, of course, if you’re the sort that likes to take things at face value. She herself claims that she grew up in Syndicate, though no records concerning her identity exist prior to N.F. 105, and any attempts to extract the whereabouts of her parents or other extended family members have proved fruitless. Bai Yi retains a sluggish and reluctant demeanor when it comes to discussing anything related to her past, often citing boredom or a headache or any other number of trivial excuses as a reason for her lack of compliance- and for most people, this is where any sense of mystery ends. The rest is rather opaque and easily understood; Bai Yi, at some point, founded the company  “Whitestone Industries” alongside her employees, K.K. and Che. By Bai Yi’s own lavish testimony, Whitestone Industries was a household rags-to-riches success story, raking in wealth and acclaim where so many others had failed… and it was also a complete lie. Anyone who took more than even a cursory glance at Whitestone quickly realized that not only did Bai Yi lack leadership, but she was startlingly, overwhelmingly incompetent. The company was limping along, addled with numerous debts, seemingly held together by little more than a miracle and the sole efforts of K.K., the only employee with interests beyond eating, sleeping or gambling.

Why, then, all the secrecy?

For those who care enough to dig- even at their peril- certain details begin to emerge that shape Bai Yi’s history beyond what she cares to show. Rumours of a strange underground city. Whispers of a cloaked figure who prowls Syndicate after the sun has long set, culling the streets of pursuers from her past. Even an examination of her abilities shows that she possesses an overwhelming strength that is incongruent with her mania levels, suggesting that Bai Yi somehow has the means to control and suppress the influence of mania in her body… perhaps even to a degree that would enable her to enter a Black Ring unharmed, a feat that is so far nearly unheard of.

But hey- those are all just silly rumours. What you see is what you get, right?

powers / abilities: INSTANT KILL — Little is known about the full extent of Bai Yi’s sinner powers, as she has yet to be detained and investigated by the MBCC. However, it is known that her ability “instant kill” enables her to move at supersonic speeds while maintaining shocking levels of precision with her weapons. She has been known to dispatch dozens of enemies in a span of three seconds, though ingame information claims “this record is constantly being broken” suggesting that Bai Yi’s potential has yet to reach its limit.

inherent abilities: SINNER PHYSIOLOGY — Though her powers are not centered around an increase in physiology (besides speed) the way some sinners are, Bai Yi is still stronger and more resilient than your average human.

WEAPON TRAINING — Bai Yi wields a sword she calls Halo.

MANIA SUPPRESSION — For reasons unknown, Bai Yi is more resilient to the strain of mania on her body and seems to very rarely- if ever- suffer its ill effects. This applies solely to herself, and cannot be extended to others. 

items / weapons: HALO - A long, silver katana adorned with purple ribbons.

starting ability: Instant Kill starting item: Halo

extra: 

So what I'm telling you is that Bai Yi is like if a spam pop-up was a person

She has a QR code on her outfit and if you're foolish enough to scan it, it downloads a shady app onto your phone that blasts you with obnoxious ads for her company. This is canon.

She's bisexual but nobody want her

discord id: instant.kill passcode: "nobody want her" I DO. I WANT HER

[sitedescorte]

Tips On Joining Adult Dating Services

In the past, just single people could use adult dating websites to meet the perfect person. Today, married couples are now joining Site d'Escorte in a more discreet way. Why? Because of the basic need for sexual satisfaction. A lot of people believe that married people are involved in adult dating sites on the internet because they are unhappy, either with the guy or lady is not happy. This isn't an accurate assumption since some users have stated that this can improve the relationship.

The other reason may be due to the craze regarding how the media portrays adult dating online. One example is the acts or scenes that are often featured in adult-oriented films. There is no indication to say that this should never be experienced at home and the person would like to experience it for themselves. If your partner is interested in these kinds of things It is the right the right time to find someone who will be open to this kind of thing. The services of adult personal dating aren't advertised on TV or in the paper. The best way to locate this is on the Internet. There are a myriad of websites and once you sign for an account, you could meet other members who share similar thoughts and interests.

Certain adult dating websites focus in a specific area of areas of interest. Other options include calling a friend over the phone or on the internet. Because the adult dating website is an equivalent to a bar for singles and two people who wish to meet for real can meet at a certain time and location. People who are exhausted working with only one person could have an occasion to invite other members to join the party. In any event, there are no obligations and it's just to have enjoyment.

Adult dating services aren't often discussed openly in public areas. It is because there are people who have the tendency to evaluate the character of individuals and if they know someone who has is often branded as a shady or a fraud. The most crucial thing people must remember is that this takes place between two adults who have a consenting relationship. It isn't harmful to anyone and therefore you should keep it to the people who are comfortable with this alternative life style.

If you are considering joining an adult-only dating site there are some aspects you must consider.

There are many adult-only dating sites online. The law provides individuals have the right of privacy and one must be certain that the adult-only dating service is protected by certain methods to ensure the privacy of members. It has to be secure and free of hacking since there's going to be a lot to pay when the news of this gets out.

The adult personals online dating site can't assist if some of those members are soliciting money from others. If this happens it is recommended to end all communication. In the end, people who have signed up are hoping for actions and not giving money away.

Don't divulge excessive details to someone who is not your friend. Be aware that this might cause problems later on with some crucial issues.

If two people decide to get together, it's an ideal idea to notify your family or friends about the meeting. This can be an emergency plan in case there is a problem.

[lil-kissy]

Alright I know at this point I probably sound like a broken record but when it comes to threads and replies I'm pretty chill.

Sure quick replies are nice, it's great to be able to just keep on things going and sometimes can help maintain the interest and motivation plus at least for me my ADHD often craves that immediate serotonin boost that comes with seeing a reply so. So waiting is hard I won't deny it,

But that doesn't also mean I don't understand the myriad of reasons that exist and while just like waiting for a package to be delivered being patient isn't easy. I can and will wait till my partner is ready to continue, if ever you see me pop into your IMs I promise it's only out of curiosity as well as wanting to try of course wanting to try and keep some communication with you guys- and obviously even for those I don't necessarily expect an immediate response.

I try to ask before simply throwing an link to an old thread- in case the person already does have it saved and avoid feeling awkward but in either case whether you see me asking 'hey you need/want a link to thread' or I've sent a link to one of our threads that I know I personally wouldn't mind continuing I simply want people to know that there is no pressure to respond to it right away or even at all.

Consider it a personal interest checker and as well as a casual reminder- lord knows I've unintentionally become distracted and forgotten about threads (or talked with friends that hadn't realized or forgotten themselves that the ball was in their court now so to speak)

Of course as always that doesn't mean a reply is mandatory and if whatever the reason interest / motivation ect isn't there and would rather drop the thread as is that's cool.

While I'm more then happy to discuss and see if there's any spark left, any potential in resurrecting an old thread or seeing if there's anything to be used to spring board I don't want any one to think or take that as me trying to force a thread - I simply like at least trying to explore other angles and possibilities but it still doesn't mean we gotta.

-Bonus alternative is if there is still some mutual interest but are both at block on exactly what to do, that's when I'll just suggest shelving it and putting it on the back burner.

So it doesn't have to be completely dropped dead but also allowing for focusing on new things while letting it rest- and basically at that point if it'll either just fade away and die on its own as other stuff takes off or maybe we'll finally reach a break/ find the missing piece to get the gears moving again and boom off we go.

I've had both happen- sometimes even just a change of direction/plan helps,

example: Something that started out as a regular sick/hurt character thread/plot and let's say we came up with potential things to happen but oops a snag was hit on how to continue , maybe it's as simple as well what is Muse A's motivation for doing 'thing' or piecing together a okay why couldn't the do 'thing' or why be at 'place'

or from personal experience- there was a plan/idea but life happened and now we both don't remember what exactly it was, at best remember fragments of ideas but aren't sure of how they fit or what the bigger picture was.

But hey guess what "X just happened in Y thread so what if that connects to muse in Z..."

Does it always work nah and as always sometimes a thread is best left alone and dropped and that's A-okay. And heck just cause the thread itself is dropped doesn't mean we have to leave/drop whatever idea we were working with in it. Take it rework it, hell start the idea completely over, fresh slate with new ideas brought to the table.

Yeah okay so I don't always drop threads easily or like to totally give up on a plot/idea but I also will never try to force one to continue and am totally fine with letting them drop if need be.

--

tl;dr

At the end of the day I can wait as along as needed, just let me know if I actually should be waiting time to try something new and understand that if you ever seem me toss a link to a thread into your IMs / ask about any you want to continue,

Basically picture me holding up a game or a movie and asking if you're (still) interested in playing/watching it, and know whether to continue putting it on- be it now or later- or search for something else. That's it. Nothing more.

[foggysirens]

love the jedi to bits but uhhhh they and their teachings are not infallible and having characters question and contemplate those innate truths of the star wars universe does not mean you hate them!

[violenceenthusiast]

im curious why people are saying supernatural is jewish like idk if jewish writers makes an inherently jewish story especially when things like following out the christian apocalypse from revelations and showing a real physical g-d who is just some guy i think is super jarring since though christians claim to be against idolatry they seem totally fine showing depictions of gd or whatever i dont get jesus honestly but jews are far more strict and the idea of showing gds appearance is pretty wrong

WOOF okay um. Maybe this is one of those Tone Doesn’t Come Thru Well Online things but to me this is soo fucking rude… I’m half way between John Mulaney we don't have time to unpack all of that & Ben Wyatt wait it’s gonna bother me if I don’t explain why you’re wrong. 

This turned into all my thoughts. 

So like. First off, it’s all fun and games. We’re all just joking and joshing and projecting here on destiel dot tumblr dot com and Jupernatural is not an exception in a lot of ways. And so when someone shits on what we’re doing here (yes, even unintentionally) what you get is what happened: oh you think you’re funny well I’m about to be hilarious!!! aka I’m gonna do it even more now out of spite specifically because you said not to. Like it really is all jokes but also you know what’s not a joke? Antisemitism in all its forms, even the casual shit! It’s really draining and it builds up in your veins!! Just. Yeah. You saw a lot of people talking about it today in particular because much like other topics of the day, one thing kicks off a whole other turn of events. So like. one misguided comment that’s playfully antisemitic and then one more little one, and then one big/obvious one launched us (Jewish spn fans) into a whole bigger discussion about antisemitism and erasure of Jews in the spn fandom writ large. It’s one thing to be descriptive, offer a headcanon/what if, or employ a certain mode of analysis. It’s another thing to definitively say This Is The Truth, specifically when to do so overrides something else, especially in this case when what’s being overridden is Jews, an ethnoreligious minority. It’s also another thing to talk over Jews. And mind this has been building for days. Not in a bad way just like, it’s been topical for days and then today one big thing pushed it over the edge to us actually posting abt it (partially bc at that point it’s a pattern, which feels like it needs to be addressed). Like, destiel tumblr is small we pretty much all see all the same posts, and then Jewish spn fans… we’re friends, we chat about life? We joke around together, y’know? If you’re being antisemitic (yes, even unintentionally) we’re all gonna hear abt it. It’s how we stay safe or in this case, curate the online exp.

That being said tho projecting on fiction is like fun and even a good thing at times, and def opens up new modes of analysis. But! the other big thing here is that there IS a LOT of evidence for a Jewish reading of spn, in a lot of ways, and particularly if you know what to look for. Like there’s lots of niche Jewish slang (non-Jews just don’t know these things, and that is a reflection primarily of the writers but once you put it in the script it implies things about the characters too of course), the theology of the early seasons (I’ll get to that in a second), main character motivations (hold on), “Moishe Campbell” implying Mary is (and therefore Sam and Dean are) Jewish, etc. 

It’s not surprising to me or anything that non-Jews don’t catch anything/everything Jewish about spn but that Jews catch both sides of it, because that’s just how being part of a marginalized group works. You learn about your own stuff AND the dominant culture’s stuff because that’s how you survive (socially, psychologically, literally). Members of the dominant culture don’t need to learn the marginalized one, are never confronted with it, and so they just.. don’t. I don’t even mean that in a normative or accusatory way, that’s just an observation on the state of things. Non-Jews who aren’t part of another marginalized religion, aka expressed xtians and cultural xtians, have a ton of misconceptions about Judaism, for example, “Jesus was Jewish” and not, “Jesus was an asshole of an apostate who made life harder for Jews at the time in a myriad of ways and whose movement has had a lasting negative impact on world Jewry (and other peoples) for the ensuing millenia”. I truly Don’t Have Time right now to get into the varied and intense history of antisemitism in all its forms but. the point I’m making here is that I’m not shocked I need to explain that life experience shapes your worldview?? So if you’re Jewish you’re always gonna be living life through that version of the world and it does impact you?? Same as anything else?? As unwell as they may be, spn writers aren’t exempt from that. Jewish people writing about xtianity are doing so thru a primarily Jewish understanding and vice versa. Jews can (and did!) write about xtian lore but in a Jewish way! Some core Jewish themes: wrestling with angels/G-d, questioning G-d, IF there’s a G-d they will have to beg MY forgiveness, the afterlife isn’t really a big thing so all that matters is your time on earth, make amends to others directly and thru your actions rather than seeking absolution with G-d, you are not obligated to complete the work nor may you abandon it, etc… So that’s the other reasoning why we say “spn is Jewish” based solely on it being written by Jews. Rather than Death of The Author, let’s look at what the author has imbued the story with, both intentionally and unintentionally. And re: Chuck and idolatry… I don’t even know where to start with the way you phrased this but. the Jewish Spn Writers of Note are apparently Kripke, Gamble, and Edlund. All of whom stopped writing for the show years before the Chuck Is God plot! 

Like yes it feels very stupid to be writing a thousand words on antisemitism and supernatural but like. this is a spn blog run by a Jew so. This whole thing is also just the same every time. This is very representative of typical casual antisemitism.

[nabrizoya]

honestly would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the nikolai duology because i really only see blanket praise or blanket hate for it whereas I see a lot of wasted potential. Bardugo's actual writing was beautiful as ever for the most part, but the choice of the plot/beats feels baffling to me. I love Nina, but her parts felt so separate from the rest of the book until the very end, and even that felt off. I liked the first 2/3 of KoS enough, dealing with the monster, political tensions, 1/2

and even the cult of the starless saint was at least interesting because dealing with people trying to rewrite the narrative of their greatest enemy (who hurt these young leaders in deeply PERSONAL ways) was really compelling (making him literally come back was. a choice) but I feel like somewhere in the last third, KoS went in a wholly differeent direction, and RoW has this vibe of feeling like she definitely wrote it after reading the show scripts or even seeing some footage. idk. 2/2

I will try to be brief (1/12)

Hey anon! Thank you so much for asking this even though it took 38756588247834 years to answer this I’m so sorry !! The Nikolai duology was good—wonderful too maybe because of the myriad of themes and topics it discussed and explored, all in addition to how beloved these characters are. For me, it’s the end of KoS as it is for you, and the entirety of RoW in particular that irk me the most.

I have very little issue with KoS, and I agree with everything you’ve said. The political tensions, the sort of urgency in trying to secure a country at the cost of personal reservations, preparing for a war that seems unforgivably near the door, etc. was all thrilling. After all, it is the first installment in the duology, and it’s supposed to set the course for the upcoming books.

KoS managed to introduce the stakes and the circumstances, lay the rails for what the characters will face and what it might mean to a vast set of entities connected to the events. And it’s hardly out of sense to expect Rule of Wolves to pick up where the previous book left off and carry forward the themes and plot points introduced in the first book.

Except, RoW failed spectacularly in that aspect.

Rule of Wolves: the second book, and the supposed finale to the Grishaverse and the Nikolai duology; it fails to continue the other number of threads that KoS set up for it, effectively compromising the characters, their characterizations, the themes and other political tensions and stakes. The due importance that should be given to the heavy set of topics that get brought up in the povs are not through, nor are the small details that Leigh added to the conversations evolve into something worth talking about, which are the actual points that could have been given some more page time to explore than just making them facts or points of nostalgia for the characters.

If you take a step back and analyze the whole timeline, events, characterization, objectives of the arcs and the plot points etc. etc., all the way from Crooked Kingdom to Rule of Wolves, there’s so much that is left out and tied in, quite haphazardly, which leads me to believe that Leigh wanted to attempt writing a duology that is more plot-driven than it is character driven. And we know that Leigh writes character driven stories brilliantly, and SoC, CK and TLoT are testament to the same. Heck, even TGT has more consistency than whatever TND has.

So, objectively? Plot possibilities? Characterization? Potential? Personal goals? Addressing the very serious themes it brought up, in little or major light, but give no proper elaboration about them?

The lost potential readily compromised the characterizations of many characters, and it all amounted to their arcs being very underwhelming.

I’m dividing this into four parts and here’s the basic outline.

Writing and Plotting

The Plot, Possibilities and Potential.

Characters, Characterization, Character Potential.

Remedy (what I think would've worked better to tie this all up)

This can get very looong, so be forewarned.

I. Writing & Plotting

Now, Leigh Bardugo’s writing is exceptional, no doubt. The sentences are short and flowy, and convey the tone, psyche, environment and the setting and its effects on the pov character marvellously. It's also immersive. It’s the same in Rule of Wolves, except, a little or a lot weaker.

The two main parts of this is that one, that Leigh slightly overdid showing a lot more than telling, and two, that the RoW (and perhaps KoS too), was more plot driven than character driven, the latter of which is actually Leigh’s strength.

In Rule of Wolves, Leigh’s writing seemed very choppy and snappish. The descriptions were lacking, or maybe that’s just me wishing for more internal conflict and dilemma, and going back and forth in one's own head for a bit. It felt like she showed more than she told.

Example being how Zoya ‘snaps’, ‘drawls’, ‘scoffs’, or ‘scowls’ less, and even if that’s supposed to be show Zoya beginning to be a little less unpleasant than she usually is, the tone in those chapters was not strong enough to distinguish how and why the character was acting a certain way. Nor pinpoint an explanation on what brought that change about. (And there were many instances like this with many other characters), which resulted in the characters themselves feeling so off to me.

Leigh’s characters are important to the story. They carry tremendous weight and actively contribute to the plot. Except, by focusing a lot more on the plot, some parts of these characters’ relevance was not up to the mark. It is greatly due to how weak the plotting and pacing of the book was, tbh, more than just her writing.

Consider: Mayu Kir Kaat. She is integral to the story, but she is thrust into responsibilities, and that doesn’t give us much time to see her as a person, and then as a person with a duty, like we see with most other characters. Whatever parts of her we did see were very circumstantial and timed, which is probably the reason why not many we’re unable to appreciate Mayu as much as we should. (Maybe fandom racism also plays a part, so, well,,,).

Like, we know from Six of Crows and with The Language of Thorns, how great care went into describing the characters’ state of mind, which further heavily influenced their choices and decisions. This time though, I think she wanted it to be more plot driven, hence the whole crowded feeling of the book and general worry about oh my god too much is happening, how will all this be solved and all that.

And this, I think, greatly hampered Leigh's writing, leading to unsettling and rather unsatisfying character arcs. Not to mention that there was quite little space given for the characters to develop or let them grow in a satisfying way which touches on most of the elements and themes that get brought up with regard to their powers and potential,,, and when it was indeed brought up, it was all in vain since they were never followed through.

That's one of the biggest problems for me in RoW: Plot points brought up in KoS were not brought forward in RoW.

II. The Plot, Possibilities and Potential.

Phew. Truly buckle up because this train has too many coaches. And to discuss them all, let’s keep the starting point as Crooked Kingdom.

a) Parem

Now, by the end of Crooked Kingdom, we know some important things about the parem.

It's dangerous asf for the Grisha who have to sacrifice their will and capabilities for a short time superpower high that they didn’t even ask for

Which means they are more often than not forced to consume the drug

Shu Han is the creator of the Parem and are also creating a new kind of soldiers called Khergud (who additionally require Ruthenium, but we’ll talk abt that later)

Fjerda snatched the formula after kidnapping Bo Yul-Bayur, keeping him away in the Ice Court and in their possession, and used the Parem to further their own heedlessly heinous agenda

I think it’s easy to understand how KoS started off on the right track, considering that Kuwei Yul Bo is mentioned, the antidote and jurda is brought up and so come the political tensions alongside it (what with the impending war, the demon, the lack of funds in the coffers and security and peace for the country alongside safety for the Grisha).

The point is, parem is a character of its own. CK was its inception, and its fate was decreed along with its lifespan and its doom. Ideally, by the end of RoW, parem should have been vanquished while addressing its nature as a deadly drug, the addiction and aftermath, and the key person who will guide the plot: Kuwei Yul Bo.

Parem is a political tool that pitted countries against each other, making one another their allies or enemies. (Though parem is not the only one factor). Ravka doesn’t yet know about Kerch’s neutrality. The Shu made their move to assassinate in the end, just as Fjerda cleared the air about their goals.

Point is, parem is weapon, a new kind of warfare that keeps getting alluded to in KoS. The first book gave a glimpse of how the Shu and Fjerda are using parem, thereby exploiting, prejudicing etc. the Grisha in their countries. Khergud whose humanity is washed away with parem + ruthenium, and the Fjerdan Grisha (are targeted) drugged and exploited while be subjected to torture, training and imminent death, parametres of these outcomes being severely gendered.

Ravka too wanted to weaponize it and create a usable strain that would still give the Grisha their powers but at a minimal cost, until Nikolai’s conversation with Grigori convinces him out of it and to use only the antidote for the Grisha.

And when are the contents of this conversation brought up again?

Never.

Another aspect of parem (that the conversation also covers) is this: that what was once merzost, parem is its strange cousin. Parem parallels breaking the bounds of Grisha norms unnaturally, while merzost takes it a step further to break the bounds of nature itself, which comes with a heavy price. They're both the same with little differences. Amplifiers are in tune with this discussion, hence the conversation between Zoya and Nikolai about how, and whether or not the abomination in him, the parem, and the amplifiers are tied together. This gets brought up again in the conversation with Grigori.

Parem parallels the superpowers, something that Zoya too manages to achieve once the corruption of the amplifier business is resolved, which makes her realize how in tune with nature the Grisha must be, and how limited the Grisha powers until then had been. And why the amplifiers were a corrupted piece of magic.

Zoya was supposed to be the conduit in that sense that she reversed the Grisha norms and understood the importance and nature of small science. This is alongisde parem getting abolished or resolved in the least, be given a redressal.

Yet instead in RoW, we barely see any of Zoya’s powers, nor even her experimentation and hunger for power which would give her protection. We don't see how she begins to realize that while power was indeed protection, it was also a responsibility. Not clearly, anyway.

So like, not only is this entire discussion thrown away in Rule of Wolves, but no matters are resolved either. Parem did not reach its end like it was supposed to. Merzost with regard to parem would have been an excellent thing to address, with or without the Darkling being present, because the blight is there. But that doesn’t happen.

What happens instead? We get one chapter of Grisha getting the antidote during the face off at the start of the book, the women in Fjerda are not brought up again and instead we jump to Shu Han. Kuwei is also conveniently forgotten because hey, the Zemeni are here so it’s all sorted!

RoW could have (should have actually) sought to address both the political and medical (?) aftermath and implications. Maybe it did succeed in showing the political side of it, with regard to Mayu, Ehri, Makhi and Tamar’s storylines. But that’s only in Shu Han, whose state of affairs we had NO idea of until RoW. No idea, so much that it was completely out of the blue.

And what we did know (get to know about in KoS) is Fjerda and the affairs there remained… unsolved.

(...sorry).

b) Grisha Powers

Re: From the conversation between Nikolai and Grigori, and Juris and Zoya, about how parem and the amplifiers are parallel to each other in terms of being abominations, a corruption of Grisha powers. Now the theory of it is not entirely explained, but we do know that the parem and whatever Zoya learnt from Juris was meant to move along in the same direction.

But we don't see another mention of it, except maybe we could dig a little deeper and realize that it all adds up because Zoya is the Grisha Queen of Ravka, Summoner, Soldier, Saint, all of it rushed and unnecessarily magical in a war so dire and realistic in RoW.

Welp.

c) Spy business

Just… genuinely what even was Nina up to in RoW? A spy, sure, but only to garner information on the pretender?

Why couldn’t there have been two responsibilities for her to uncover: the lies or truths about the pretender while the Apparat causes hindrances, and Nina trying to seek out more documents of the locations and labs where the Grisha women are being tormented and the other Grisha being weaponized? It could have been a leverage to discredit Fjerda in front of everybody in the Os Kervo scene. Imagine if Nina whipped out the documents of Grisha labs and brought the truth of the exploitation and killing and kidnapping etc. in front of the convention of all nations. All of it together would have upped the political tensions by quite the notch.

Even then, there’s a possibility that it wouldn’t matter either because the Grisha aren’t exactly valuable to all the nations. But killing and exploiting is still wrong so maybe it might have worked? Or see, even if it wouldn’t have, the slow and sluggish realization of Mila’s identity by Brum, and alongside writing it as a tragedy where Nina’s efforts seem to have gone to waste, or where Nina is telling Zoya about not accounting for Prince Rasmus’ word and she informs her about the documents she has snatched? Something could have been done here?

The point is, KoS focused on Fjerda and its unraveling, and it wasn’t continued with and through in Rule of Wolves. Instead it sought to find the problem in a whole new country, Shu Han, and fixed it within the same book leaving the other country as it is.

d) Ruthenium and the Blight

Ruthenium, the metal that is an alloy of regular metal and Grisha made steel, could have been utilized more significantly in the books.

I mention it in association with the blight because while on one hand it is true that the blight is an area full of nothingness, ruthenium as a metal could have been utilized to show the effects of rushed industrialization that is leading to the ground losing its essence. This is supposed to be advanced warfare after all. Besides, Makhi loses someone very dear to her. Perhaps ruthenium is more dangerous in Shu Han because the Shu use it to create the khergud, so the constant manufacturing of it has been leading to the metal leeching the lands of their fertility, along with the blight.

And so also to broker peace, Ravka could have provided aid in some ways. :

1) The Darkling sacrificed himself, as a result of which the blight vanishes. While the blight took away her niece, the possibility of a blight persisting despite the ending of RoW could be attributed to ruthenium.

2) Ravka could provide the reversing effect to the alloy of ruthenium and metal using Grisha and otkazt’sya engineering and ingenuity to replenish the lands.

All in addition to whatever will be Shu Han’s policies to bring lushness to their lands.

e) Women and War:

Holy fucking Shit, where do I start with this?

Whatever we saw in Fjerda was haunting, and we see it from Nina’s chapters. There’s literally no resolution for it, nor is it ever brought up again, at all. In Zoya’s chapters, we see through her eyes the brunt that Grisha faced with the war, and in a country that has refused to recognize Grisha as the citizens and considers them expendable.

Add to it her own narrative of how the women are never mentioned, let alone the ones that she has lost or has known to suffer, at the hands of the war, at the Darkling's torture and powers. The description of these women suffering, often being forgotten and thrown aside as mere casualties… where or when was it ever going to be brought up again?

Like, switching between such horrifying things happening in Fjerda to whatever was happening with Zoya and Nikolai and Isaak is such a contrast, horrifyingly demeaning and insulting, even more so when it failed to align with the importance of parem and offer a solution to both these problems.

Now switch to Rule of Wolves, where the Tavgahard women immolate themselves on Queen Makhi’s orders. Not only is that such a cheap and insensitive thing to do, it gets treated a simple fucking plot point in the book, and it barely gets addressed afterwards. Women in Asia have a vastly complex and complicated history with fire, and this is a serious criticism that culturally affects readers in personal ways. And what gets done about it? Fine, Zoya feels baaaad, sorry oops why would the women do that?!?!?

Where is the adequate sensitivity to the topic? Where is the continuation of the pain Zoya feels for many people, despite them being the enemy? How does she honour them? Where is all that dilemma and pain? Why does she not think of them or just get a line or two to talk about them?

Where is the due importance for this suffering given? Structurally and culturally?

f) Soldier, Summoner, Saint / Yaromir the Great

We never really get any explanation for why Zoya deserves to be the Queen, and why she is the best. But we do get to see why Nikolai isn’t the one supposed to be on the throne, and it’s not just because of his parentage but also because of his failings and doubts and the need for acceptance with the secrets he carried.

Here's the thing though; it’s not just about her showing mercy. It’s very subtle, and in good sense, should actually have been given a little bit more importance that be loosely brought up at random times.

Keeping aside the fact that Zoya is representative of Ravka—a woman, a Grisha, a Suli girl who changed the course of war and who knew what it was like living in poverty, being as an underprivileged person of the society in addition to the trauma from then and the state of living at her aunt’s place—which is meant to be covertly apparent, the other reason tracks back to Yaromir the First, who with the help of Sankt Feliks of the Apple Boughs—the one who raised the thornwood—lead Ravka at that time into the age of peace.

The Darkling testified that in his POVs, that while Feliks and Yaromir worked in tandem for Ravka, Aleksander worked for safeguarding the Grisha. In one sense, Zoya is supposed to reflect that moment in history in the present moment, except she is Queen and Sankta, and Grisha, all three at once.

It is brought up in one of the Darkling’s POVs and once in the conversation with Yuri in KoS. Other than that, we never actually get any more hints of this explanation in the text, which is the reason why the entire ending felt so so rushed, and like a fever dream, that even if it was a plot twist, it was kinda very baseless when it should have been more ohhhhh sort of a thing.

g) The Starless Cult and Saint Worship

This cult had immense potential to blossom into many things, some of which were indeed touched upon in KoS when Zoya says that she saw a bit of herself in Yuri, and brings up time and again how easily she’d been led and had not been aware enough of what’s right and wrong, just as she supposes Yuri is too. And to some extent, there is truth there, because in the Lives of Saints, we do see why Yrui comes about to hail the Darkling and how it parallels Zoya’s, of being helpless and ten being saved by a different power/ their own power, respectively.

That’s where it forks, that Zoya is older and realizes the path that Yuri has chosen and understands that it won't happen until he realizes it himself because the Darkling’s crimes are so obvious.

Even then, there’s still more potential: This cult could have been the mirror that would make Zoya reflect on the questionable methods of the Darkling, and the ways in which she might be mirroring them, despite or not it is the necessity because of the war. How she is training soldiers too, just as the Darkling did, and while the need to take children away from their homes just as soon as they were discovered Grisha was abolished, it was war, and they needed soldiers.

So like, there’s quite a big narrative going on here, how mere children are pushed into one path of becoming a soldier and the whole system that was that the Darkling followed to train the Grisha and all of that. All of this in addition to the juxtaposition to the Grisha being seen as elite despite them being hunted, and the people who are not Grisha frowning upon them. This is also the work of the Darkling, which actually paves the way to see how there can be a world where the Grisha are not feared or seen as abnormal, despite or not they are given a Saint-like narrative.

This cult could also have been the segue to discussing Yuri and his brainwashing, and the sort of cult-ish behaviour of believing in something firm when you couldn’t believe in yourself, or not seeing the magnitude of the crimes of their supposed Saint, alongside always staying focused on becoming a soldier only and never actually thinking beyond what is told.

Some of these are very subtle and some are brought up, but never given too much of an explanation.

Genya brings up another good point in the funeral chapter, about how Fjerda seemingly taking into the whole Saints thing could mean that if the Darkling moved there, he could very well sprawl his influence there to bring in supporters. Which leads to another discussion that gets brought up towards the end of the book: about Nina telling about the Ravkan Saints to Hanne and therefore to the Fjerdans,,, which doesn’t exactly sit right with me. It’s still a very nascent topic, and I think SoC3 will explore this path of faith and personal beliefs etc. but leaving it just there, while talking so much about Saints in both the countries,,, don’t exactly know how to put it into thoughts here.

But regardless, the cult of the Starless had different potential to talk of (blind) worshipping of an ideal without critically examining why the person must be put on the pedestal in the first place (and if it is simply power, then there is actually a narrative right there, which RoW gets right, about the people valuing the power still, as a result of which the monarchy still persists at the end of RoW. Even then, there’s more discussion awaiting there).

Not sure if any of this makes sense, but I’ll leave it at this here for now.

edit: 05/07/2021 | I think what I was trying to say here is that we do not have any kind of narrative evidence to seeing how and why it seems right that the Fjerdans will worship Ravkan Saints; is it merely because they are all Grisha? Or is it because of the segue explore this path of faith and personal beliefs and all of that, of the talk of the monastery and the Grisha there being of all identities, that a monastery is in Shu Han, that it has Djel's sacred Ash tree so far away from Fjerda... much to think about.

III. Characters, Characterization, Character Potential.

Mostly going to be about Nina and Zoya, but I’ll bunch up the rest of them at the end.

a) Nina

*head in hands*

I severely mourned how poorly Zoya was written in RoW, but then I realized that more than Zoya, it’s Nina whose potential was severely undermined and wasted. On one hand, I’m glad she uses her powers and quick thinking,observation and her own tactics to analyze the population and opt for the best way to make them see the truth she wants to show them (eg: making Leoni and Adrik and Zoya saints and also showing that the Grisha are the children of Djel via people’s belief to Joran and Rasmus’s mother).

But then, it’s like you said; her parts were so offbeat and outpaced and completely disjointed, when in fact, Nina is the thread that ties all the characters, their plotlines and potential, together. Nina is connected to Zoya and Hanne, two equally important characters and main characters of the duology. Whatever scope Nina has, they are greatly in parallel to Zoya and Hanne. And it’s all literally there, in the text! What a waste.

Though keeping aside these parallels, Nina’s own journey from Ketterdam to Ravka to Fjerda, while is spoken about, doesn’t touch some other parts that I see potential in. Or this is just meta.

Nina has grief not just from Matthias’ death but also from the loss of her powers as Heartrender. So much of the Second Army was built on being a soldier, and perhaps the Darkling was not outright disdainful of racial differences in his army, yet he still stripped every part of the children away until they weren’t children anymore in his view. They’re all soldiers… (albeit his soldiers, preparing them to do his bidding because hey, give and take right?). Nina was a soldier, and she is a soldier still under Zoya’s role as a General, but an ‘other’ of a soldier. That’s her only identity, and the loss of her powers means that she’s a different kind of soldier.

I imagine that this entire time, some small part of Nina longed for normalcy, or whatever settled as normal for a life like hers. In the sense that she wants to go back, but what is back and where exactly did she want to go back to? What was the before and after and where did things go wrong or change? There’s tragedy in the realization that whatever you were before what you became is not a place you can return to, and that’s a different kind of loss that she has to bear, and all by herself. She has powers over the dead now, a strange power she learns to grow to, but all the places she has been, all the lives she has led and people she had been, everything might seem like they’ve all been locked away in some strange place leaving her barren and indisposable.

She’s off to Fjerda as someone she isn’t, figuratively and literally. In KoS, Nina brings up many times how odd she feels as Mila and in some capacity longs to be Nina Zenik again. This ties in with the previous point of returning to somewhere, but where?, but is also a segue towards body dysmorphia, the thing that Nina and Hanne’s storylines parallel and connect too with in a small way. It’s a great line to follow to discuss what her discomfort with her body means to herself while it means something entirely different to Hanne, who is also not entirely comfortable being who they are. (This discomfort further which leads to gender dysphoria, while for Nina, it will be about learning to accept her powers. I’ll add on to this in a bit,).

I'm mourning the lost potential of that experience being a parallel to Hanne’s own feelings, of a discussion between people being uncomfortable with their bodies, something that can mean multitudes to each person and on their own accord.

In parallel to Zoya, I like to draw it from the fact about Nina wanting to go back to who she was, while Zoya actively tries to lock her past away and drown it somewhere or throw it to the storm, never to hear of it again. She has no identity other than being a soldier, and that’s enough for Zoya, because who she was before she was a soldier is not pleasant. But moving from being just another expendable shell of soldier under the Darkling’s rule, Zoya becomes the one third of the Triumvirate, and then the King’s general, all of which bring self-awareness of Zoya’s capabilities and challenges that are bound to excite her. But all of these also compel Zoya to be many other people to others as she slowly grows to realize that power is not just protection but also a responsibility, and it will inadvertently mean confronting her past of her lost identity, realizing the how of the Darkling, and how harmful it was. As Genya puts it perfectly in Rule of Wolves, that they were all taken away when they were young kids, not even barely children, and then thrust into responsibilities that didn’t allow them to be anything else other than what the Darkling told them to be.

Back to Nina; a few other great parts about Nina’s arc could have been about her connection to languages, as language being a mode of strengthening identity, in addition to growing to her powers. In RoW, there’s this line that goes ‘how sweet it was to speak her language [Ravkan] again’, and the feeling of homesickness. Like, Nina is trying to connect to Ravka through what she knows best—language, and then stories. In that, Nina realizes a part of her identity, which could also act as a segue to Zoya reclaiming her own heritage and ethnicity. Not only that but Zoya and Nina’s stories are literally so intertwined that it’s hard not to see how their choices and line of thought affect one another’s arcs, in the grief they have and how they choose to treat it, and also show why Zoya is particularly protective of Nina (and keeps wishing that she doesn’t become the monster Zoya had become, in the sense that Nina is more mature in handling her grief than Zoya was and the entire mercy plotline ties Nina, Zoya and even Genya together. More meta, haH).

And that’s why the ending doesn’t make sense. Even though the part about her not being comfortable as Mila is not brought up many times in the continuing chapters (and that’s why perhaps naming Nina’s discomfort as body dysmorphia may be wrong), there’s still the part of Nina readily accepting to be who she was a Mila and remain in Fjerda that seems iffy to me. Especially when Nina and Hanne literally a few chapters ago think about running away (it may be just another alternative they might be fantasizing about, but I think it still means that they both want to be their true selves without hiding any parts of it away). So her staying as Mila… well, it doesn’t exactly add up.

I’d also add the part of Nina’s story mirroring Leoni’s, and how she is from Novyi Zem and being a part of the Second Army meant that she had little to no connection with her past, her culture etc. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part that Leigh went for that arc.

edit: 05/07/2021 | I don't agree with my point anymore about Nina not having the kind of ending I assumed she might have, considering that it is very well possible for Nina to treat her identity as Mila as a fresh start, as a Grisha with a command over the the dead and begin a new normal that is suited for her. You can read more here.

b) Zoya

For one, white passing Zoya is not canon to me. I simply pretend I do not see it.

See, her race was handled very badly. Making her half-Suli was supposed to show the struggles and the trauma that the ridiculing of her identity by other people has caused to her. Except, not enough time nor text is given to thoroughly discuss it. Not to forget how problematic of a narrative in itself it is to make Zoya white passing.

It would have made more sense to make her dark skinned and predominantly Suli-looking than whatever yt bs she was put through. Her not being white-passing would have led to conversations about tokenization, or people caring little about her and not giving her any respect because she is Suli. Or being called beautiful to the face and praised just for it or a harmless tumble in their point of view.

So like, instead of making the ‘mistake’ of seeking for acceptance, seeking appreciation and love, from her mother at first and then the Darkling, Zoya instead makes herself someone to be feared, if respect was not what she deserved. The iciness is a part of her and has always been, but all of it soon became a shield, an armour that she vowed to harden her heart with. Just the sheer impact of this narrative and her reluctance, and seeing Nikolai love her for beyond who she thinks she is… if all of this was canon, I’m pretty sure I’d have built a shrine for this duology.

Let’s now talk about her grief, and...

…

Okay it’s not for me to point fingers at how Leigh chose to write about grief because there’s no one way or one proper approach to go through that pain, and if that’s how she chose to write about grief for Zoya, fine! But I really wish we’d have gotten a little more into her head to see how the trauma has affected her thoughts and how she struggles against why and what exactly it is that Juris wants her to do. That enough time and text was dedicated to Zoya’s feelings and the mayhem it caused her, as a result of which the dragon’s eye took its cue and made things more unbearable to her because she was the only one to bear them all.

Like, I feel like Zoya was overwhelmed throughout the book and in between she had some skyhigh responsibilities to discharge and it’s all so inconsistent and poorly woven,,, it completely dissolved her character from KoS and made it 10000000x more miserable for me to read her POVs. And honestly, what even were her assignments that the Kirkus review mentioned? Never an inch of text in RoW is given to decipher her complications of her mind, the muddled sense of hopelessness and fear that grips her time and again. Why overwhelm her so much that you fail to do her mental state and capacity any justice?

I’m not going to be harsh about how much David’s death bothered me-- no actually fuck that; what’s the point? Fine, he died. All because you wanted to make his death a plot device to make Zoya reconcile with loss and deal with it? Where was Genya’s grief? Literally no point of having a death in the book at all, and it didn’t even achieve anything. (I’m still trying to wrap my head around why David’s death was important and maybe if I find some straws, I’ll consider…)

There were so many other ways around it; could have brought back Lada and killed her off, or have the Darkling piss her off so badly or just. Something. Instead of whatever happened with David. I think this is too harsh and insensitive of me to say about Leigh, but still… there’s a myriad of other ways to have gone about it. Helping Zoya deal with her grief with Nikolai at her side, to understand that the rage that was fueled from her loneliness, like it had been in the past, could now be a weight that Nikolai was willing to carry with her… Helping someone with their grief, staying and choosing is also a love language you know?

So in that regard, I won’t regret saying how flat the garden scene was to me. Zoya’s lines, though tinged with grief, were so out of what I would expect KoS Zoya to say. Maybe it’s also because of how bitter I was reading about David's death, despite that part being spoiled for me.

The cost shouldn’t have been David’s death, especially not when his death too wasn’t properly handled at all, and Genya’s grief was never spared a second thought beyond bringing Titanium.

+

Now let’s talk about how Out of Character Zoya was throughout the book. Her punchy attitude was missing, and even if she was warming up to her friends, we see little of the iciness she continues to retain. Another part of this is about exploring her relationships, particularly with Nikolai and her growing feelings for him. I wish we’d have seen them grapple with more of their confusion and propriety, if only for the yearning™. Besides, no matter how cute their scenes were, they were mostly (like maybe some. 70%) awful to read them, simply because it felt so odd to see Zoya be so open with Nikolai, all of a sudden.

A part of this definitely has to be the fact that we don’t know just how much time has passed between the end of KoS and the start of RoW, and we never, never see any description of they regarded their feelings for each other and how they understood it themselves. I don’t actually know how exactly I can put this into words in a manner that will make sense, but the only scenes where I appreciated Zoyalai were in the Ketterdam chapters, ONLY. The rest was… bleh lmao. Their scenes were so cute and brilliant, and if only we’d seen more of the internal conflict and had given some more time for them to practically approach their feelings but still end up in the puddle of it. If only.

Their scenes apart were the good ones, because that’s where we finally see Nikolai feeling the loss, no matter how temporary (on the verge of being permanent since it’s the war), of not having Zoya with him, of not being there with Zoya because who else would it be if it wasn’t her? Zoyalai had good scenes but they barely lived up to the mark lol. Their feelings are never thoroughly explored, nor their mental capacities.

While we’re talking about Zoyalai, let’s also talk about how lame it was for Zoya to say that Nikolai was the golden spirited hero all along, from the very start, when canonically we know Zoya had little to do with him in the earlier books, that she may have only been physically attracted to him and never saw him as more than just some guy with a responsibility to manage, and had sooooooo much distrust about him. And that it was only in the next few years of working with him and alongside did she grow to recognize his efforts and relish in the hope that he was building for Ravka, inadvertently making Zoya hopeful too.

Nope. Instead, we’ll just throw in some destiny bs that he was the one all along rather than show that the beauty of their relationship did not stem what they perceived of each other, but was instead built on strong respect and admiration for one another and their capabilities. 100% destroyed their relationship for me.

+

Some good parts about Zoya’s arc in RoW was how she acknowledged her past mistakes, and the nuance that was touched upon in seeing sense in becoming a soldier from the start, that offered her a chance to be anything other than a bride. That some part of her was grateful for the Darkling for teaching her how to fight, while still keeping Genya’s words in mind about how they were mere kids, children who had only one path to traverse because the Darkling (who wanted their acceptance and loyalty) nor the Kings of the country let the Grisha be anything else other than pawns of the war. That she recognizes her mistakes as a teen and how self centred she was, that her being snotty had at times cost some peoples’ lives too. And she doesn’t take the blame all up on herself, because it’s not hers alone to bear. Super good.

Also, the way Zoya comes to view power as responsibility instead of merely as protection was something cool to read about. It’s not clear in the books, but Zoya actively tried to not be the Darkling while still continuing to build an army for the war out of necessity, and actually sharing some parts of the dream that the Darkling had for the Grisha. I can’t articulate this so perfectly, but the point is, Zoya trying to avoid becoming a tyrant like the Darkling was an active process that she was constantly trying to change, and where Zoya could not recognize her own feelings and inherent thoughts about warfare that in some ways did mirror the Darkling’s, by the end of book, Zoya is much more self-aware and conscious of herself and her power than she was at the start of the book. And this was well done.

+

Now, what is up with YA and making people turn into giants or animals lol wtf. Why couldn’t we have seen Zoya use her dragon powers in a way that symbolizes the conditions of her dragon amplifier and the power of the knowledge she obtained from Juris? She is a Saint, and we’ve seen that their powers allowed them to cause ‘miracles’ and such, as we see at the start of KoS and at the end.

Why couldn’t we have seen Zoya dabble with her newfound powers and completely lose her shit in anger during the wae, only to rein back in mercy, just as someone from Fjerda begs for forgiveness since they see her then as a Saint? Adrik and Leoni used their powers in Fjerda, so having Zoya bring about a conundrum of all orders and do something about it would also have been cool, wouldn’t it? In the funeral scene we see her turn water into ice, thereby making a path for Genya. Why couldn’t we have had more exploration of the importance of the dragon’s eye and the general nausea of being overly empathetic every. damn. time? Why didn’t we get to see her powers? Why couldn’t we have seen her fail in them and realize that the reason she was not perfect was because she was trying to be strong on her own and was not relying on others and joint effort?

Her turning into a dragon was genuinely the most baffling part bc here’s a war that’s so serious and dire with metals and bombs, and then here’s this magic that will solve all of it entirely. Like I’m not saying it was bad, (I am actually saying just that) but I also don’t know what I am saying, except that the ending felt like a fever dream.

…?

Not sure if I’ve managed to convey it properly, but well. Zoya felt out of character throughout RoW, and that the only place I saw KoS Zoya was in the final Os Kervo scene where Zoya finally agrees to be the queen.

c) Nikolai

Nikolai’s arc was very satisfying and brilliant to read about in RoW. In KoS, he seemed very much like a passive character, one of the reasons why his stunt with the Shu in RoW was appreciable, no matter how ill-timed of a plot turn it was. His journey throughout this book was also introspective to see why others deemed him unfit as the King, and even if they were his enemies who thought that in want to dispose him from the throne, Nikolai realizes that him being on the throne is not of much value and that this book was entirely about him seeing his privilege and making decisions to counter and correct the mistakes he’s made. That was nice. Oh, also his father not being an antagonist was a pleasant surprise.

I don’t have many complaints about him, except perhaps wanting some more internal conflict and elaboration about his feelings for Zoya. Them being apart was where it was satisfying, and then in the Ketterdam chapters. His arc could have been better in KoS, but that’s to blame the plot for the characterization.

d) Hanne

Now, from the very start, their arc was super good and it only got better and better until… the ending. Except it’s so odd that Hanne, a poc, has to now live as white person, while feeling comfortable in their transmasc identity. Icky, no? That you need to eliminate one part of your identity in order to feel safe and comfortable about another? Add to this the whole white-passing Zoya thing,,, doesn't exactly send off the right message.

Together with Nina, the ending seems uncharacteristic for both of them. Them coming to accept their powers and knowing to use their powers on their own accord was brilliant, though the entire husband business felt very,,, eh to me, even if it did make sense. The ending about their name and their new identity was too vague.

e) Genya, Leoni and Adrik, Kuwei, Mayu,

Genya is the one who faced the most disservice along with David. While there were exceptional parts to both of their plotlines, it's still sad that even if David's death was necessary, we don't get to see the entirety of her grief and the possible anger, and that her kindness is simply used as the justification for lack of portrayal of grief.

It really did take me by surprise, mostly because I wasn't a fan of the original Shadow and Bone book, but seeing David's conscience and self-awareness, along with Genya's (and Zoya thinking of how she wouldn't let any harm come to them, which shows a bit of her development towards her character development), was plenty refreshing. David and Genya were genuinely the highlights of the book and to kill David off was just. doesn't sit right with me.

Leoni and Adrik deserved more page time. They’re saints and immensely capable (no wonder they’re now the Triumvirate), but a few more pages for them to shine would not only have been nice, but also a necessity.

And now, Kuwei...

....

I mean,,, parem should have been the plot, alongside the entire weaponry and the discussion of making a city killer. But uh… that didn’t happen.

There's not much I have to say about Mayu, Tamar and Ehri, except that their plot was superb, only very badly timed.

There's more to talk about them in the remedy tho.

IV. Remedy

Here’s the deal. Before KoS release, there should have been a Nina novella.

Nina is a very important character. All of her potential, alongside many other parts of her personality--from dealing with grief, to accustoming to her powers, to growing stronger--there could be so much to do with her as a protagonist, alongside another character: Mayu.

A whole book dedicated to Nina in Fjerda with Hanne? Brilliant. Show Stopping. Mind blowing. It gives SO much page time to explore not just Nina and Mayu, Hanne, but also Zoya, Leoni and Inej. All together.

How?

Nina’s plotline carries the entire medical effects of the use of parem, just as Mayu’s will carry the pain she feels about her brother being a part of the khergud program. The novella will give ample time to flesh them out as characters and protagonists, each dealing with plot problems and problems of their own--like the loss of ones powers and newfound responsibilities, and the shared loss of a beloved person in parallel, even if neither Nina or Mayu interact on page.

Fjerda and Shu Han could be tied together with one chapter as a POV from Zoya (or maybe two), who, along with the Triumvirate and Nikolai, are completely at loss with the political scenario in the country, and are debating over what should be the course of action. Zoya receives news from the scouts, and missives from Nina, and Tamar takes care of the information she garners from the rest of the network, including Shu Han.

Like, the entire surprise of finding a Zoya POV, from a character whom until CK we’ve known as cold hearted and stern and not giving a fuck about anything or anyone, be humanized in that one chapter, thereby building up the anticipation for her arc,,, the very potential,,, *chef's kiss*.

And by the end of book, we could have an POV--or maybe a cameo if not a POV--of Inej meeting Nina on one of her travels of slave hunting. Inej could help take care that the women that Nina has rescued (as Nina does in KoS) reach the Ravkan shorelines safely. But, for a price.

The entire parallels between Leoni and Hanne and Nina could be set up, while also building up the narrative for the Saints’ plotline with Adrik's, Leoni's and Nina’s powers (like it was at the end of KoS). KoS and RoW would thereby continue it by tackling the weaponization and the antidote, Sainthood and the rest of the politics of it all.

Coming to Shu Han: one key aspect that I’d love to have explored would be the importance of art, during or despite the war. Of how war or pain chips away culture, while detailing on the ill effects of it from the commoners' perspectives, from the soldiers etc. Art is integral to Shu Han and could be portrayed by Mayu’s pain finding balm in poetry, of seeing glimpses of Ehri poring over poetry also mayri ftw, of politics that Makhi is weaving against Ravka, etc.

Or also add some more length to Zoya’s POV and explore a bit of Tamar and Tolya and Kuwei’s interactions and perspective added to it, of missing a home that they seemed to not know, or know; of discussing culture and differences on the basis of where they’re from (maybe the twins are from the borders, while Kuwei grew up near the capital or somewhere distant from the borders etc.), all while directly pointing at Zoya’s heritage and how it ebbs at her conscience, no matter how much she wants to bury it.

POTENTIAL !!!

Like,,, Nina novella would have been too powerful. It would have been perfect. I think I’d excuse bringing back the Darkling too if this was the case. (Or maybe not).

But welp.

Hey, thanks for reading! Not sure if you could make it this far, but if you have, you honestly deserve a medal for sitting through this all. I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to read through this, considering it seemed to take it more than month to compile this there’s also me procrastinating on it too so i’,mbhbdhshfsdn

Drop an ask if you want to talk more about this!

Sincerely, thank you!!!

[leaderoffestivals]

Myriad of Colours and Flowers: Ch 7

Madara: Watch out, Kanata-san! We’re under attack!

Season: Autumn Author: Akira Character: Kanata, Souma, Madara EN Proof: @ryuseipuka​, blake

Souma: Hm~mm. I do not think that is the case, but then again, I cannot conclude with any certainty there is no conspiracy being put into play right now. 

In point of fact, I have heard that the Mikejima household is a veritable hotbed of suspicious activity lately. They seem to be in a state of great emergency over something, and it is said they have been leaning heavily on my family’s connections to acquire a stockpile of weapons and the like. 

Kanata: ‘Weapons’, you say… …. That is a very alarming situation, isn’t it?

Souma: I cannot stress enough that all this is just hearsay, in the end. My parents do not wish for me to be exposed to such dark affairs, so they take great pains not to discuss these matters when I am present.

Kanata: I am sure that must be the case. Your parents must wish for you to be able to keep on ‘sparkling’ brightly always; anyone would. 

But… Is that so… … There had been ‘something’ which I did not really understand—

—about why Mikejima seemed to be trying to keep everyone away from him these days. And apparently, he has been ‘distancing’ himself from Anzu, too. 

Could it be that is actually the ‘reason’ why?

Souma: What are you referring to when you say ‘that’?

Kanata: I am saying… What if there really is some kind of ‘conspiracy’ going on, and Mikejima, in order to block and crush that—

—No… In order not to let anyone else get caught up in that ‘conflict’—he has been keeping his distance from everyone because he wants to deal with it by himself... ... or something like that?

Souma: Well, that does seem to be what he is thinking of doing. 

Has he always preferred to take such actions on his own? Just like that time when he was tearing the religion asunder… I would have flown to his aid had he but called for me—however, to the very end, not a single word did he say to me. 

Kanata: No, if you had gotten involved, that would have only made things much more complicated, wouldn’t it?

Souma: Even if that were so… What would be the colour of my loyalty—what kind of samurai could I claim to be—if I could not be present at the scene when it mattered the most?

Kanata: I have never asked for ‘anything like that’ of you at all, though? 

But, I do understand your feelings well. I want to ‘assist’ Anzu-san in any way that I can too.

It seems there is a growing ‘need’ to have a ‘talk’ with Mikejima. 

There are still many ‘facts’ which are unclear to us, but I think Mikejima should have ‘some idea’ about what is going on. 

So. First of all, let us go find that ‘dummy’, grab him by ‘the scruff of his neck’, and make him ‘come clean about everything’ he knows. 

________________________

<A few hours later.>

Madara: … … … …

Kanata: Mikejima~!

Madara: … … … …

Kanata: Seriously?! Were you actually here all along? Anzu-san, Souma, and I—we ‘split our group up’ just so we could look everywhere for you, you know~?

I was just about to give up on the search, but then I decided to pay a visit to this ‘flower garden’ for the first time in a long while—just to make sure!— because I was bothered about the ‘flower petals’. 

I never expected to find you here at all, Mikejima. I wonder what the real ‘God above’ is thinking of sometimes~, to ‘set things up’ for such an unexpected ‘encounter’ like this…

Madara: … … … …

Kanata: Mikejima~? Can you hear me? We are not at the ‘bottom of the sea’ right now, so you should be able to hear my ‘voice’ clearly, right?

Madara: —— are you—

Kanata: Yes?

Madara: *Sigh* What are you even doing here~?

Kanata: Eh? Is it wrong for me to be here? It is true my family no longer owns this ‘piece of land’—Is our being here considered ‘illegal trespassing’ or something? 

Madara: … … … …!

Kanata: WAWAA~? Wh—why are you hugging me so tightly all of a sudden! Are you a ‘spoiled child’, to be demanding attention like this~?

Madara: —Keep your voice down!

Kanata: Fwah—? You—the one who is always ‘noisy and rowdy’!—you have no ‘right’ to say that to me— 

Madara: Watch out, Kanata-san! We’re under attack!

Kanata: Eh? EH? Under attack? By what? What is with this sudden ‘escalation’, it is as if we are in a ‘tokusatsu show’(1)—

—HYAAA!?

( Wh—wh—what is going on? All the ‘flower petals’ are flying into the air at once, and so suddenly too—

It is ‘beautiful’, but it is also very ‘unearthly’ because there is absolutely no ‘wind’ blowing at all right now? What is going on? Is, is this an ‘unnatural phenomena’?)

—————-To be continued——————-

Chapter  6 | Chapter 8

Translator’s Notes:

Tokusatsu (特撮, lit. 'special effects') is a Japanese term for live action film or television drama that makes heavy use of practical special effects. These shows often deal with science fiction, fantasy or horror. The most popular subgenres of tokusatsu include 

kaiju such as the Godzilla and Gamera series; 

superheroes such as the Kamen Rider and Metal Hero series; 

 mecha like Giant Robo and Super Robot Red Baron Madara and Kanata have been big fans of such shows since childhood. 

[creepyhottakes]

welcome to creepypasta hell 🖤

TLDR: long-time creepypasta fan gets tired of the takes on this website that she doesn’t agree with so finally decides to take matters into her own hands

~my backstory~

hello, hello. I am Charlie, your friendly neighborhood creepypasta freak. creepypasta was my first ever fandom all the way back in 2013, so the popular fanon versions of the characters from that time continue to affect my interpretations today (for better or worse tbh). after the stabbing (you know the one) happened my parents forbid me from engaging with creepypasta anymore, but it was always in the back of my mind as a sort of guilty pleasure. then, during the original quarantine, I dove right back into it with a vengeance.

~my blog~

this blog is going to be my headcanons for the creepypasta characters that I like, in the form of:

unhinged text posts

reblogs

answering asks (please send me asks)

obviously I can’t claim a lot of these ideas as completely my own, because I’ve interacted with a lot of people in this fandom over the years and taken bits and pieces to mash them up into my perfect abominations. but I’d say that’s the case for any blog of this sort.

~things I will do~

nsfw: because, like most others in this fandom, I have the hots for a lot of these characters. I am an adult, so I would like anyone who is not an adult or who doesn’t want to see my nastiness to block the tag “creepysmuttakes” and obviously don’t send me any nsfw asks if you’re a minor.

x readers

character x character

pretty much any other genre of headcanon you can think of

creepypasta mansion headcanons: obviously, these are what I came here for. there’s going to be a lot of them, and I hope to get asks about them as well.

Marble Hornets, EverymanHYBRID, Tribe Twelve: these tend to be a little iffy for me as far as my deep understanding of their lore, but I’ll do my best (also they’re gonna be altered quite a bit to fit my interpretation so if you don’t like that stay mad ig)

Ticci Toby/Toby Rogers: you’d have to pry this precious little man from my cold dead hands to get me to give him up. so he’ll be here too.

~things I probably won’t do~

character x character of something I don’t already ship: there are exceptions, like if I find a dynamic compelling but don’t personally headcanon it. in that case, you’ll just need to ask.

angst: listen, okay. I hate being sad. I use fandom to cope and distract myself from real life. there will likely be some instances where I will talk about the myriad of issues these characters are carting around, but don’t expect it often or for these discussions to be at length.

sexualizing Slenderman: I headcanon Slenderman as asexual and having no genitals, so if he’s gonna fuck anyone there better be a damn good reason. not completely off the table, but it would take a lot of convincing, let’s put it that way. (and also it’s not gonna be that sexy even if it does happen trust me)

~things I won’t do~

anything relating to Offenderman: this is self-explanatory. if you think any romanticization/sexualization/humanization of a character who was created to be a rapist is okay, kindly get off of my blog.

sexualization of BEN or Sally: I headcanon both of these characters to be minors and incapable of aging so that’s absolutely not going to happen.

x readers/character x character with characters whose sexualities are incompatible: what I mean by this is, if I headcanon a character as a gay man and you want an x reader with them and are a woman, not happening. sorry. find another blog. same goes for lesbians with men, etc.

here are the characters I’m taking requests for:

and here’s my ships:

in any case, I hope you enjoy your time in my little spooky wonderland!