#i just think it’s so much more interesting than having people blindly accept it without thinking ‘how does this apply to me?’

[wordsarelife]

Enemies to lovers George Karim x reader PLEASE!!

—mastermind

pairing: george karim x reader

summary: the team has to work together with quill kipps, for George that means being stuck with the best friend of the blonde leader, y/n. the only person in the whole world that seemed to be smarter than him, that's why he hated her.

George Karim was not entirely the nicest person, at least not to his close friends. that usually differed with other people, with them he was nice and tried his best not to grow aggravated as them when they didnt know a simple fact

it was different with y/n l/n though. she had been in Kipps' team for the past two years and what Quill Kipps was to Lockwood, y/n was to George. it was mostly the concept that she seemed to be a bit more intelligent as him and literally succeed at anything she tried.

it wasn't hard for him to hate her. intelligence and knowledge had always been his thing. but to George's dismay, Barnes had gotten Lockwood to accept the helping hand of Kipps, which normally wouldn't have been a problem, if he hadn't decided to bring his best friend, y/n with him.

"look at this" George exclaimed, while Lockwood, Lucy, Kipps, y/n and him were sitting at the kitchen table, researching the case they were about to take on together "seems like the ghost has a connection to Heather Abbott"

"the actress?" Kipps asked confused

"precisely" George nodded "she received her second Oscar in 1977 and then, two weeks later, she disappeared suddenly. here, you can see it on the picture, they are standing together and it says it was taken on June 26 1980"

"oh bullshit" y/n exclaimed from behind the papers, without even looking up from what she was reading. all eyes turned to her, as she finally put the papers down "sorry to disappoint you, but Haeather Abbott wasn't the one that disappeared, it was her sister. Heather died through natural causes at the end of may 1982, so much for your theory. and to be exact, that isn't even her on the picture"

Lockwood's eyes turned big as he threw a look in George's direction, after y/n had picked up her papers again. normally his best friend would never make such mistakes, but in the presence of y/n, George always felt the need to be the smartest, so he often acted too quick without thinking it through. he wasn't much himself when she was near.

Kipps laughed into the hand he had put up in front of his mouth, trying to be discreet, but obviously failing, before he patted y/n's shoulder, his face showing the obvious triumph.

"oh" George exclaimed "I could've sworn I was right-"

"well, you weren't" y/n answered and in that very moment, George was about to jump over the table and close his hands around her neck. luckily for the girl, Lockwood had noticed George's growing interest in murder and held him down. the others not even noticing the outburst he had prevented.

about three hours later, the group was standing in a dark alley way, ready to start their mission. much to George's dismay, y/n had found the important information.

turns out the ghost they were hunting, an old singer, known as Gale Humphrey, had different connections to some more than just illegal organisations, which led to his death, when he was found murdered in his old london chalet. the house was huge and it was important to know their way, before they would walk inside blindly. y/n had made sure of that, to which even Lockwood had to praise her.

when they entered, they decided to part ways, so that they would cover as much ground as possible.

"Lucy, George and I will go upstairs, Kipps and y/n downstairs, alright?" Lockwood began ordering and Kipps raised his eyebrows

"so you can find everything important and get the whole fee? without y/n you would go in blindly, you wouldn't even have half the information you have now, thanks to your reasearcher being totally off the bat"

"hey!" George protested, but went ignored by both boys

"he's right" said Lucy. she was about the only one that was at least somewhat friendly to Kipps and actually liked y/n. probably because she was living with two boys and didn't get the chance often, to actually spend time with another girl. "you know he is, Lockwood"

"okay" Lockwood breathed "how would you do it?"

"you, Lucy and I go up. Karim and y/n down. it should mostly be safe downstairs. the talents would be parted evenly. Lucy and y/n are both listeners, you have the sight thing, George has touch. seems fair to me"

"alright" Lockwood breathed and George's eyes grew big.

"what?" he spat, like Lockwood had just traded him in "i'm not going down there with her. first chance she gets, she's probably trying to kill me" "like I would need to do that in a haunted mansion" y/n rolled her eyes "if I wanted you dead, you were, sweetheart"

George gulped in disbelief, sending another pleading look in Lockwoods direction. "please, Lockwood"

"I'm sorry, George" Lockwood breathed, before he turned around, closely followed by Kipps. Lucy waited a few seconds longer, before she had to give in. she send an apologetic look towards George, before she followed the boys up the stairs

"just you and me than" y/n smiled provocative "really romantic"

"just amazing" George smiled sarcastically "hopefully the ghost will be better company"

"oh come on, Karim" y/n threw her hands in the air, as she followed him down the stairs "you don't hate me that much"

"I would like you more if you weren't such a know-it-all, all the time" he rolled his eyes

"like you are any better" she shrugged

"try listening, will ya?" he instructed, ignoring her words from before. he wasn't as annoying about knowledge as y/n was. he definitely wasn't.

the girl closed her eyes, while George tried to gather anything from the walls. there wasn't much he could feel

he turned around when he heard y/n's sudden gasp. "what is it?" he asked, hand gliding to his rapier, as he watched the girl, who seemed to be in full distress.

"don't move" she muttered, while she gripped his arms and gently pulled him towards her

"is it him?" George wondered "the ghost? is he here?" he repeated quickly, because y/n's eyes were still fixated on something behind him. "y/n!" he tried again, calling her by her first name for the first time in a long while since they were introduced to each other

her face had lost all its colour and she was rapidly moving backwards, taking him with her. her eyes had spilled a few tears. obviously they were not used to being a team and going on missions together, but they had had their share of ghost fighting in each others company, and George had never seen her this scared. y/n always seemed to keep her cool, even at the most monstrous of ghosts.

he tried to gain her attention again, but it was to no use. he took her hand off of him and drew his rapier, turning around in a quick motion to be met with... nothing?

"it's on the ground" y/n muttered as she noticed his eyes dazing around the place

George looked down to the ground slowly, anticipating anything but what he was seeing. it wasn't a ghost, but an animal, a snake to be exact. a little green snake, he noticed as he held his flashlight on it, which was one of the most harmless beings put on earth.

"it's just a snake" he chuckled

"I-I know" y/n hissed and George noticed how she stumbled back even further, just now without him

"are you scared?" he asked bewildered

"ob-obviously" y/n answered, while she kept her eyes on the still forward stalking animal "would you mind stopping it?!"

"y-yeah" George bend down and took the short snake between his fingers, cautious that it wasn't too close to his skin to be able to bite him. the snake wasn't dangerous, but he didn't really need to be bitten tonight. he walked to the other room to open a window and set the animal free. "better?" he asked, when he came to a hold next to the girl

"yeah" she mumbled "thank you, that was nice"

"no problem. i'm just a bit surprised is all, I mean, you're the great l/n! you're not scared of anything"

"well, I am scared of some things. maybe not ghosts and darkness, but there are still some things"

"like not being the smartest person in the room?" he asked sarcastically, returning to his old self

"you don't get anything, do you?" y/n asked "I'm sorry you can't take a hit to your ego. and I'm sorry you were wrong, but that isn't really my fault, is it? someone had to correct what you were saying before our team would walk into another mission blindly, but I guess normally you're used to that, aren't you?"

"woah, hold up" George put up his hands in surrender "our team? the last I remember this was my team and you and kipps only added yourselves to it"

"like we had any choice" y/n mocked "the most prestigious agency, lockwood and co, just can't get away from burning houses down, killing people or angering DEPRAC, obviously Barnes had to get you lot a supervisor"

"yeah, maybe, but not you"

"do you think I like spending time with you either?" y/n voice grew louder and bounced off the walls, they were both full on screaming at each other now

"you wouldn't be so insufferable if you were less intelligent" George screamed right back

"do you think I like being like this?"

George's mouth had run dry had the answer she had screamed at the top of her lungs. now he was just simply staring at her.

for George intelligence had always been a gift, to be able to memorise as much as possible and understand complex connections. he loved learning new things and he liked to be the smartest person in the room. all his life he had been just that, the smartest person. well at least until he had met her.

"are you kidding me?" George laughed "you are always bragging about how smart you are"

"really? am I?"

now that he was really thinking about it, it seemed like most of that had been in his head. obviously she would correct him when he was being wrong and sometimes she would break into five minute rants, after which she had to slowly repeat herself, so everyone would be able to grasp the concept she had understood a long time before them.

she was cocky and confident and sometimes rude, but she hadn't always been like that, he suddenly noticed. he remembered at fittes, when they first met each other and trained together, she would mostly keep to herself. she would answer when she was asked and if he made a mistake, she would correct him privately, so he could redeem himself without a big huff.

he couldn't really remember when he had begun hating her, or why he did. maybe because in his eyes, intelligence was the only good quality he had, but when she was there, he didn't even have that.

maybe the hatred had begun when he began liking her too much. at least that's when he began talking to her, like she was no one to him. and after some time, she seemed to return that favour.

"you're right" he finally said, realising his mistake "but you were nicer about it when we first met"

"because i liked you, you idiot. at least until you began to go all rouge on me" she paused, sitting down on the steps and waiting until he did the same

"do you know what its like to work as a woman in just another male dominated industry? they don't take you seriously, because you're just a girl, what could you know? what you say is never right, because it isn't what they would say... for the longest time, being smart was like a curse to me. that's why I left the team and went to Kipps. he was the first one to make me feel good about it, about being the smartest one in the room, there isn't really any shame in that. he helped me to be more confident, to not hold back when I want to say something and to not feel bad when I know something better than others. when we first met I thought you could understand how I was feeling. I quickly realised you couldn't and at some other point I finally noticed how much I was annoying you"

"oh" George just said "I never knew you were feeling like that. I think I was just jealous of you, because I felt like you were taking something away from me by being smarter. now that I think about it, I wasn't any better than the other men, was I?"

"no" y/n shook her head chuckling

"I was really dumb, im sorry for that" George smiled at the girl "intelligence always seemed like a gift to me, I never thought about it being this bad for someone else."

"it's alright George, I should've just ask you what was going on"

"you are not responsible for my insecurities" George shook his head "and I shouldn't have acted like you were" he shrugged his shoulder "I think deep down I wanted to be like you, so effortlessly smart, and what was supposed to be admiration grew into anger, because I realised I could never be"

"somehow, that's kind of cute" y/n laughed "I didn't know I had an admirer"

"you confessed to liking me first, just for the record"

"yeah, i'll keep that in the protocol" y/n pointed at her head "photographic memory"

"oh, man!" George cried out "obviously I had no chance against you"

"no" y/n smiled

she leaned forward and softly, her lips found his. engulfing him into a sweet and gentle kiss. it didn't even feel weird, more like it was always meant to be, they just had taken too long to realise it.

"you never had"

"I'm fine with that, actually" George muttered and connected their lips once again.

[chaifootsteps]

Re: Dave’s tweet about an indie award show.

I think it was well-intentioned but I absolutely agree with his new tweet about it that it should be more of a showcase.

WhTever people were being asshats in the replies can fuck off—but I think there’s a very real problem in indie and it’s kind of simple: indie is too personal right now. And there are layers to that.

All art is personal : indie feels more personal than mainstream because everyone has to market Themselves as an individual and being online means everyone has more direct or personal access to you : if you’re young or inexperienced you’re unlikely to have the professionalism or patience required to carry yourself or your project’s production which can result in a looonnnggg laundry list of potential spin-outs and drama.

You can look at video essays of just about ANY failed product/project/kickstarter and have a glimpse into what happens every time someone steps forward with a dream and no experience or maturity to handle the weight of it.

More experienced or generally mature/professional creators know how to handle their productions and their feelings. Such as Tracy, Goose, and Zeurel.

But there’s a MASSIVE population of too-young and/or too-inexperienced indie creators who are impatient and sensitive (and frankly there’s also people involving themself in the indie scene who aren’t creators, akin to “idea guys” who want to make their own “”studios”” or self-proclaimed “journalists” who want to capitalize on the indie interest via video essays.)

Basically what I’m trying to say is indie as a whole is fine but the current climate of the community is extremely under-developed and inexperienced and is comparable to getting really excited about the concept of surviving in a forest but only running in with a dream and a backpack of basics, without any of the physical or mental preparation or experience with survival skills to actually survive or to even enjoy it.

Anyway this was a long-winded way of saying trying to start indie events like award shows is well-intentioned but I don’t think the indie community is mature enough for that right now.

There’s like this unspoken expectation to support or include any indie production no matter what level they’re at just because they’re indie and if you don’t people take it personal and/or start shit-talking.

But the reality is vetting is still important. There are L O T of amateurs in indie who might mean well that can appear impressive with how high excitement and interest in indie is right now—but they don’t realize (or can’t accept that) they aren’t ready. They wanna make the dream happen NOW.

They aren’t actually seasoned enough to see their idea through, run their production efficiently, or carry themselves maturely.

A showcase is a much better step forward in my opinion. Unofficial awards and “top 5 indie series” type posts from random Twitter accounts trying to establish themselves as an authority/news network/hub for animation that are run by people either too unaware/biased/easily swayed, or far too young, are only creating unnecessary divide and isolated storms of drama.

Especially since people don’t realize most of indie is still isolated in its own bubble. “I can’t believe I got shouted out by this random Twitter with INDIE and NEWS in its name I’m so honored—“ and the post itself has very low engagement or has only been engaged with people already on indie’s side, it’s own bubble. I’m not saying the community can’t celebrate itself, just that it needs to be a little more self-aware and analytical instead of blindly trusting and outpouring their whole soul at every slight expression of interest because there are already small fires and spin-outs occurring that result from that very naivety.

Such as an “online convention” that popped up for indie series to join via a Discord server that turned out to be being run by a literal 17-year-old who then got called out for running it like shit and letting people post/say 18+ stuff despite it being in the rules to not do that.

CartoonBase which occasionally makes unresearched biased or interaction-bait posts about indie productions.

Or a 19-year-old running another indie news type of account that jumped onto the Ang drama without knowing the full story.

Sorry, this got long and rambly and kinda turned into a vent lmao. TL;DR we love indie but a large percentage of indie needs to calm down and slow down.

Nah, these are some very good thoughts. Thank you for this.

[khaire-traveler]

Howdy and hello, tis I again (person who asked if questions are okay) (I know you said you're very open to them, but please feel free to ignore for any reason!)

I was wondering what your thoughts on about faith and paganism.

For quick background, I was raised christian, but left the religion and have a lot of baggage from it. Especially a mental block of being able to ever be able to put faith in something without substantial evidence for it anymore.

From my research, I'm unclear if pagan gods (Hellenistic I'm particularly interested in) are okay with that. I dearly want to believe they're there, but I don't know if I can ever feel with 100% they are without what will feel like solid proof to me. Is it an okay thing to like . . . honor/worship them without being 100% sure I believe in their existence? I want to do so mostly because I genuinely want to have that as part of my life, but also I know that there's some part of me that hopes that through doing it, I'll get the confirmation I want. And I don't really know if that's okay?

I haven't seen much talk about how pagan deities of any pantheon view faith, so I've been rather lost on this. I figured my best bet was to just ask someone.

Again, feel free to ignore for any reason!

Hey there, thank you for the interesting question!

I can't speak for every pantheon, honestly, but the consistent pattern that I've seen throughout my time both as a pagan and polytheist is that gods are a lot more chill and understanding than people give them credit for. Why is this relevant? Because I believe this fact gives you your answer: they would likely be accepting and ok with a lack of faith.

In all honesty, my own feelings towards faith are very complicated. I was also Christian and had a terrible experience with losing faith completely and very suddenly. It's something I still carry with me in my present worship where it's very difficult for me to have total faith in something.

But, you see, I don't think the pagan gods are asking us for total faith. I don't think they want us to blindly accept their existence and be on our merry way. I think they might appreciate it when we question things, when we investigate things, when we choose to dig deeper. I think they like that because it shows something far more valuable in faith: devotion. To me, devotion is researching things online out of genuine interest and curiosity. Devotion is asking questions to others who have experience with the gods, simply because you want to know. Devotion is worshipping the gods, despite not fully believing in them. And personally, I think devotion is a very beautiful thing.

To answer your question, in my own personal belief, I don't think the gods will mind that you are unsure of their existence. Certain aspects of worship may be more difficult for you in the beginning because of this, such as praying or communication, but I truly do not believe that any god will hold this against you. These beings are thousands upon thousands of years old; I promise you that they've worked with people in your situation before, time and time again. They are no strangers to doubt and skepticism, and I know they will not judge you for having trauma leftover from Christianity. The Hellenic gods specifically (since I can't say I know much else about other pantheons) are much more loving and accepting than people give them credit for. There is no doubt in my mind that they will accept you exactly the way that you are.

I hope this answered your question and helped! Take good care of yourself, and have a great day/night! 🧡☺️

[crossdressingdeath]

Little sister, whatever in the Gray Wastes are we going to do with you? Bhaal will never care that you waste your time, posing your corpse-dollies. Bhaal doesn't care whether you give him the corpse of a pauper or a king. At the end of the day, all Father wants is death in droves, death in numbers. To sap away the life of this dull world as swiftly and widely as we can. You plan, you plot, you prevaricate, and you waste his time. Bhaal doesn't need us to think. He needs us to kill. You kill beautifully, and have talents in your shapes' magics that I never will. But you do not understand Lord Bhaal. Perhaps it is a failing of your diluted blood, as a mere grandchild. I am his sole living pureblood. I will accept no challenge from you, until you show some damned respect.

I wonder when this was written. It's obviously from Durge to Orin, but all that talk about how Bhaal doesn't need them to think seems odd, coming from the person who helped Gortash design the whole Absolute plan. I'm wondering if Gortash was the one who taught Durge to think for themself and plan ahead instead of just blindly following Bhaal's whims, because we know that Durge does at some point start thinking and planning instead of just killing without hesitation. It would make sense for Gortash to have been the one to teach them that! I love the idea of Gortash being so quick to praise Durge for their brilliance and restraint and ability to plan because he knew them back when they killed without restraint or reason the way Orin does and he taught them the restraint that allows them to use their mind instead of just their violent instincts. It's also interesting seeing Durge chastising Orin for overthinking and spending too much time planning her kills. After all, we know that Durge helped plan out the Absolute hoax—which required them to hold back and plan kills carefully—and we know Orin was furious about having to hold to the terms of that plan because she wanted to kill more people. They seem to have reversed positions somewhat. Either that or Orin preferred Hannibal-style tableaux and Durge here is telling her off for focusing too much on presentation, which is also possible.

Also, does Durge mean challenge in terms of Orin challenging their decisions or challenging them for leadership of the cult? It's a little vague. Either way though, it's interesting that Durge seems to have put a stop to that because Orin didn't respect them rather than just because she was challenging them. Durge's clear certainty of their own superiority due to being a pureblood child of Bhaal is also interesting, and makes a lot of sense given how they are literally a part of Bhaal given form. Of course they think they're better than Orin, and it makes a lot of sense that Sarevok says that their fatal weakness was their pride (whether it was or not).

[gofancyninjaworld]

They want to believe

Let's revisit update 218 a minute (that's chapter 171 on Tonarinoyj and Viz, chapter 173 on cubari). Something lost in all the laughing/worrying/speculating about Genos going off about Saitama is the looks on the heroes' faces after they're done shaking their heads at the cyborg.

They want to believe. They really want to believe that there can be a hero as wonderful and powerful as Genos has been telling them there is.

There's a reason they sat and listened for four hours.

It's not hard to understand why if we pay some attention to what they've been through and what the content of the meeting was.

Coming into the meeting, something they all know for sure is that they barely survived the Monster Association debacle. Terrible as the monsters themselves had been, with monsters seemingly tailor-made to beat the ever-living daylights out of them, that was not the most terrifying thing. It had been the appearance of Cosmic Garou, a presence so completely ominous that they all fell into despair. No possibility of fighting back, none, even if their skins hadn't been on fire, their noses hadn't been running blood, and the world hadn't started going woozy.

That's bad enough, but then the meeting itself brings only worse news. The guy they thought had saved them from Garou, Blast, turns out to have been fighting a shadowy power called 'God', a presence they've all had some experience of. And despite all the time Blast has spent, all the resource he and others have thrown at it, Blast has no idea how to actually turn this God threat. This God threat that is coming closer all the time, as if attracted by something in the world. What the hell are they supposed to do about it? Sicchi asking the meeting to be kept quiet lest its revelations provoke mass panic are all too real. This is a dark situation indeed.

That's where Genos's over-long speech about Saitama comes in. What was it that Suiryu said? That when one is thrown into darkness, one seeks a light, no matter how faint and small it might be? Something along those lines. So, a message of hope, arriving just when the situation looks most hopeless.

It's just as important to note that Genos has earned the right to be regarded as credible messenger whose words aren't so casually dismissed. Even though none of them saw everything he did on the battlefield, they all saw enough to know he's the real deal. Crucially, he was in the same shit they were in, so how is it that he sees light where they see none? So, a message of hope, arriving just when the situation looks most hopeless, from a person who has the right to speak.

Significantly, the heroes hearing him out aren't listening in a vacuum. They've heard of or seen something of this bald hero. Could there be something more to this guy than they've suspected so far? Could he be the real deal? Could he actually be the key to resolving this hopeless situation?

Dare they believe?

Well, they're not about to believe blindly. That's fair -- Genos brought his time-travelled core for inspection and even analysis (if anyone had cared to take him up on it) -- not by word alone, that's the motto of any decent scientist. Zombieman looks set to test the idea that there can be a hero without limits. Flashy Flash is going to go test Saitama directly. And Amai Mask, well, we've already seen how it has changed his understanding of Saitama's antics.

I think this is the start of a very interesting path to Saitama's recognition and future role. Not entirely sure how it's going to unfold but Saitama tapping into the zeitgeist of heroism is so much more interesting and potentially far-reaching than people going 'holy fuck' after they see Saitama punch something. Which, as we've seen repeatedly, won't do a thing if people aren't prepared to accept the possibility of Saitama's strength.

ONE has really got my attention here.

[r6shippingdelivery]

Kiki we are choosing violence today

1, 2, 3, 5, 11, 13, 16 :)

Heyyy look, I'm gonna get cancelled again, but this time on tumblr 😎😂

The character everyone gets wrong

Jäger, hands down. It's so rare to find someone who doesn't hit him with the "poor liddle innocent baby" beam and it drives me up the wall. He's about 40 and in the special forces ffs! Glaz often gets hit with the "uwu beam" too, but nowhere near as much as Jäger.

2. A compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

Honestly, the realest and most compelling argument is: "cause I don't like it when x character tops/bottoms and I'm the one in control of the thing when I write or look for nsfw content of them".

If you want a more honest answer, I find that Kapkan topping is the most boring possible choice and it doesn't even feel like it fits him tbh, he has that "repressed and begging to be railed" vibe to him, imo (and if it's pairing him with Glaz, it's falling into the boring, heteronormative stereotype of "artist guy has to be more in touch with his feelings and therefore more in tune with his feminine side, ergo he bottoms", which is everywhere -not only in this fandom- and is as compelling as a glass of spoilt milk to me)

3. Screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Oh boy 😂 I'm not gonna search for those cause they're old, but in no particular order, the worst takes (imo) I've seen where:

Glaz writes romantic/emo poetry (the guy has a line saying "bullets are better than words" like wtf)

Some NH fans half-joking/half-seriously saying that since Ash dislikes NH, and Osa is trans and in NH, that must mean Ash is a terf...

People thinking Kapkan calling Fenrir "puppy" is flirting and/or has sexual intent 💀 (that was really fucking weird, people)

5. Worst discord server and why

Whenever the owner thinks they can decide who the people in there can follow on social media or not, or what interests are acceptable to like. Sadly, in my experience if some community or server describes itself as a safe place, it has about a 75% chance of being as described :(

11. Number of fandom-related words you've filtered

Too fucking many 😂 Non-comprehensive list: ships I dislike (like Frost/Kapkan or Cav/Glaz, for example, and more), bottom Glaz, bottom Tachanka, top Kapkan, Nighthaven, Kali, Ace, a few people in the fandom (aside from blocking them), anything related to C-OD, and sometimes I temporarily might filter stuff related to a very popular piece of media I have no interest in so it doesn't clutter my feed.

13. Worst blorboficiation

I'm not sure what this term means here. Is it the same as in the first question?

16. You can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

I don't understand why so many people blindly follow HCs and fanon from popular artists and treat it like canon almost. Or draw characters without a face reveal in the same way over and over and over just because x popular artist did it like that. I find much more rewarding and interesting to make up my own (by myself or with friends!) and develop my own takes on characters and stuff 🤷

[aspd-culture]

My old friends are very normatively caring and empathetic. I like how many things they're willing to do for me and how great they are at figuring out what I want and how to please me without me communicating (I find expressing what I want from others difficult and unpalateable even though I really like other people doing stuff for me), but I don't want to fake empathy anymore or explain my lack of it. They are distancing themselves because of how cold I've been and, I suspect, how transparently manipulative I am when I'm not really that interested anymore or giving it my all. My new friends are more like me, and I haven't represented myself to them as kinder than I am, so they're also less work in that way. But, they don't read my desires well, seem to care as deeply/consistently, or do as much for me. Are these the options? People I can only disappoint in the end, or people who disappoint me in the same way I disappoint others?

I think that part of this is that you're limiting yourself to these options more than being limited to them.

It my opinion that is extremely difficult and unlikely to maintain a relationship, even just a friendship, long-term between someone who is prosocial and someone who is antisocial without the prosocial person being informed of the ASPD.

Antisocial behavior and presentation of our lines of thinking are inherrently the opposite of everything prosocials are used to and have learned is how people show they care. Without them knowing why, they almost always take it as a personal slight that we don't act the way they expect, and it isn't really their fault if they don't know. They were taught a specific and supposedly universal way people show they care, so when we don't fit that, their belief is going to be that we don't care unless presented with another option.

Whilst you absolutely do not owe anyone your medical information, and should make your own decisions on who you disclose to, sometimes the consequence to exercising that is going to be people misreading your disordered behavior as a them thing - just as the consequence to disclosing is sometimes losing people who are important to you to ableism.

As for the new friends, they are being as open with you as you are with them. Just like you, they are showing who they are openly and unapologetically. They aren't really doing anything wrong by doing so, and it appears to me that you're bothered by the same things in them that your old friends are bothered by in you.

Relationships aren't supposed to be transactional, but as people with ASPD, we see them that way. In this case, that may be helpful. Looking at it through the transactional lens, is it really fair to expect your old friends to blindly accept the changes in your behavior without knowing why when you wouldn't accept the same out of them? And is it fair to expect so much of your new friends without giving them the same thing in return?

With ASPD, we all have to find the fine line of having people we're close with vs using those people, and to some degree, I worry that (just going by this ask) you may be using them a bit.

No judgement(/gen); most all of us have done it, but you'll have longer and less complicated friendships if you temper your expectations in balance with what you're able to provide them in return.

I wish you luck, and I really hope this doesn't come off as harsh. My tone in text has been very off recently.

[bldrdsh]

@desertbled asked:

11, 12, 13, 14 ( for jamie :^) )

romance & relationship headcanons!–––ACCEPTING

11. how comfortable is your muse with their appearance and their body?

Considering the fact that Jamie puts a fair bit of effort into his appearance I'd say very! Though he does tend to be on the more modest/reserved side with showing it off, he works hard for his physique and he works hard to keep himself looking good with like his grooming and generally taking care of his own appearance.

12. does your muse get flustered easily? how would they typically react to compliments from someone they are interested in/dating?

Honestly not really? It's not to say it doesn't matter to him since that intimacy is pretty important, but it's actually pretty rare for Jamie to get flustered/tongue-tied despite the circumstances, I think that's why it's so special when it does happen because it actually takes quite a bit to get him flustered to the point of being at a loss for words. He typically tends to be pretty humble & kinda playful when it comes to be complimented by people he's interested in.

13. what traits does your muse value in a romantic partner?

I'd say the biggest trait is someone with a desire to do good / improve the world state. In fallout that's much harder to come by than I think people give it credit for, and given that Jamie's whole thing is trying to make up for deeds he isn't proud of, I'd say that's a PRETTY BIG + on his end. Generally speaking I'd also say Jamie tends to gravitate to people who can bring out a measure of goodness in him as well? He was raised to controlled and so oppressed just across the board by his dad and the cycle really continued after his dad that I'd say someone who can almost 'teach' him how to be free is I think a good partner for him.

14. what traits does your muse want to avoid when it comes to choosing a romantic partner?

I can't really pinpoint specifics mostly because he tends to be highly critical of a lot of people, but I'll use some in-game characters as an example: people who have Maxson's like delusion of grandeur drive him up the wall, and follow a cause blindly without stopping to think if it's the right thing or not. He also CANNOT stand people who are so convinced that there's no world left to save that they're indifferent/give up ( very similar to Father from the Institute ). Jamie also hates prejudices generally speaking. The closest example I can give is how Desdemona tends to be with regard to the greater Commonwealth. People who kind of look at a situation are are basically "Well I can't change it so I don't care and it's not worth it" get under his skin like nobody's business. However his BIGGEST pet peeve is someone who doesn't understand the meaning of boundaries. Trying to force him to open up. Trying force him to be something he isn't makes him so mad it's not even funny. He genuinely shuts off and disengages with people when they ignore his boundaries.

[foggysirens]

love the jedi to bits but uhhhh they and their teachings are not infallible and having characters question and contemplate those innate truths of the star wars universe does not mean you hate them!

[artzee-bee]

Now and for eternity| Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer ( netflix)

Request:” Can you write an imagine where Lucifer’s wife is like this well known social light that owns her own luxury fashion brand and she starts receiving gifts from an obsessed secret admirer and Lucifer is unknowingly being targeted by the secret admirer who is trying to kill Lucifer in order to get the reader and Lucifer thinks it’s his father trying to ‘strike’ him down for some unknown reason until Chloe point out someone that correlates with the readers secret admirer and Lucifer’s attacker. Feeling some type away about it Lucifer decides to taunt the secret admirer by upping the PDA and romantic gestures getting a kick out in it much to Chloe’s dismay. And once the secret admirer is caught Lucifer rubs it in their face that the reader is his for now and all of eternity before showing the secret admirer his true face. ”

Genre: fluff? I guess

Warnings:death threats, stalking, attempted murder

~~~

It wasn’t unusual to receive gifts and flowers at your office. After all, with the job you worked and the wealthy people you collaborated with, the presents simply represented one of the many perks of being a designer. Except, one friday morning, while examining a particularly beautiful bouquet of pink lilies, you noticed the little card that came with it

“I know they are some of your favorite - <3 “

Usually, work associates would leave a name. Some way for you to know that they value your work and are thinking of you (and maybe to flatter you into giving them a discount), but there was no name on this card, just a tiny heart in a glittery, pink gel pen. Pink lilies were, indeed, your favorite.

You brought the flowers home and told your husband, Lucifer, all about the mysterious gift. You had talked to your secretary and even she didn’t know where the flowers came from, since no one came to drop off lilies that morning. You presumed the sender must have simply forgotten to sign the card, and perhaps your secretary had forgotten about them, with the busy morning she’d had. You and Lucifer had a laugh, imagining the shy and anxious intern that was probably assigned the job, and the scolding they’ll get when their boss finds out about their mistake.

The next morning, a box of your favorite chocolates were waiting for you on your desk. There wasn’t any note, just the same heart, written in the same glitter pen. You dismissed it as a weird coincidence and moved on to working on your designs.

Without you knowing, this also happened to be the first time Lucifer would be faced with a very interesting note. As he was getting ready to leave the police station, he noticed a piece of yellow paper, stuck to his windshield

“Back off of Y/N. Consider this your first and last warning” no signature. Anyone in Lucifer’s place would have lost their shit, but he paid it no mind. He was the devil after all! If anyone wants to take his precious Y/N away from him, well, they can try. It would make things all the more fun. He folded the paper and stuffed it in his pocket before heading home.

The couple shared Y/N’s chocolates that night, talking about who this person might be. Lucifer wasn’t as amused as he had been the night before, if anything he was rather concerned but he didn’t want to say anything about the note to Y/N, because she would freak out. 

Nothing really happened for the next week. Anonymous gifts stopped showing up at Y/N’s office, Lucifer didn’t get any more notes and things were falling back in their place, until the day right after Y/N’s latest photoshoot went public and viral. It was all to promote her upcoming clothing line. As soon as she walked into the office the next day, she spotted a red, velvet box, the size of a notebook, in the middle of her desk. On top of it, a note written in the same glittery pink as the other gifts

“Congratulations on your new line. Those photos are gorgeous - J.P. <3”

Inside the box was a gorgeous diamond necklace, looking like it was worth millions. If you hadn’t been concerned about the sudden apparition of all these gifts so far, you sure were now. You immediately called your husband to tell him about the mysterious jewelry, but he didn’t pick up. Unbeknown to you, he was busy ranting to detective Decker.

“I mean, not to be dramatic, detective, but the situation does feel like it’s spiralling out of control. Death threats, sure, those come every other weekend, kind of like fanmail, y’know? But actual gun shots fired at my head, well, that’s where I draw the line.” he ended with a giggle. Lucifer was leaning on Decker’s desk as she was examining the bullet casings Lucifer had brought her from his apparent ‘attempted assasination’

“Where did this happen again?” she said, not taking her eyes off of her work

“Right by that coffee shop ms. Lopez always talks about. I may have lost a bet to her the other day and have to get her coffee for the rest of the week, so I was just exiting the shop when a masked man in a dark blue BMW zoomed by, pointing his gun at me and shooting blindly. I mean, that is the most basic attemp at murder I have ever witnessed. At least make it interesting!”

“Lucifer, if someone is out for your life, it’s serious business”

“Why would it be? It’s not like I can actually die, detective! Plus, it’s probably not that deep anyways. Just, dear old dad coming after me again for no particular reason. Very characteristic of him.”

“ You’re getting ahead of yourself. Whoever sent this wants you and Y/N apart, why would your dad want that?”

“Because he’s a prick who disagrees with everything and anything that makes me happy?” Lucifer concludes with an innocent smile “And, of course, Y/N being moral, our marriage goes against the heavenly rules of the almighty, so he’s trying to break us apart, but worry not detective! Me and Y/N are stronger and more in love than ever. My father will simply have to accept that. Nothing will break us apart” he said, puffing his chest out with confidence

“That’s good to hear Lucifer, but I still think we should stay open to different possibilities”

“Oh, come on detective, that would be a waste of our time. I know my father better than anyone, believe me when I tell you this is his hand and no one else's. Case closed! Now, let’s move to the next one! Chop chop detective, murders won’t solve themselves!” Lucifer said, marching out of the precinct. Chloe rolled her eyes at her partner, before hiding the bullets and the note in her desk and going after him.

Although it didn’t bother you, you couldn’t help but notice how much more touchy Lucifer had been with you, ever since the necklace incident. He needed to touch you at all times: when you were out for coffee, at lunch, at the station, in your office, in Lux. His hand was always either around your waist or tangled in yours. You felt sort of bad, thinking he must be a little insecure with this secret admirer being after you at all times, but you wanted him to know that you loved him more than anything and that no matter what, you would never leave him for a faceless man, no matter how many pearls and chocolates he bribes you with. And so, you decided to play along with him, giving him as much attention as you could. Your visits at the station almost doubled, you always cleared your schedule to make time for him and even decided to start work later in  the day than usual, so you could spend more time with him in the morning. 

One afternoon, as you were enjoying your time with Decker and Lucifer during their lunch time, one of the notes from your secret admirer slipped out of your pocket. You didn’t realise it until Chloe picked it up

“Oh, I was going to throw that out”

“Where’s this from?” she asked, studying the note

“Just one of this week's gifts” you confessed awkwardly. Without a second thought, the detective reached for her drawer, pulling out another note from inside and inspecting them side by side. Eventually, she placed them both in front of Lucifer

“Notice something interesting about the writing?”

“They are remarkably similar…”

“More like identical”

“What is that?” you asked, looking at the unknown note. Your heart sank as you read it

“I’ll explain everything at home dear, I swear” Lucifer said

“You’ve received death threats because of me?”

“I’ll tell you everything at home, I promise”

“You have initials…” Decker noticed

“Yeah, ever since my photoshoot, they’re present on every package”

“What floor is your office on again?”

“5th, why?”

“How can someone enter your office every morning without anyone, not even your secretary noticing, and exit just as mysteriously?” “Unless he found a different way in” Lucifer replied

“My window” you realise “You can step out directly onto the emergency staircase from there”

“He knew when to sneak in without being seen, so he must have known your schedule like the back of his hand. Who could know?”

“The only people who know it are my secretary and Lucifer”

“A stalker?” your husband suggested

“Maybe” Decker turned quickly to her computer “I’m going to check any business owners around that neighbourhood who could have had a close shot of when you enter and exit your studio, see if any initially match the ones on the notes. We’ll go from there” 

You thanked Chloe for the help and went home with Lucifer, who spent the entire car ride explaining the note to you and the events of the previous days. You were angry at him for keeping all of it away from you, but ultimately happy that he was safe. You spent the night drinking wine and rewatching all of your comfort movies, to calm your nerves.

You decided to try working from home for the next couple of days, too scared by the idea of a stranger following your every move. It was a challenging process but Lucifer did his best in helping you get accustomed to this new routine. His homemade meals could not compare to anything you would eat while in a meeting with your business associates. Plus, the company was much more delightful.

Chloe texted you, almost a week later, to come down to the station as quickly as possible. They had found the guy. You hopped into your car and when you finally arrived, Lucifer was waiting for you outside

“They found him?” 

“Yes dear, they did”

“How?”

“Well, as it turns out he lived in the apartment building next door. His living room window had a great view of everything happening in your office. We’ve found a week’s worth of gifts he was planning to deliver. It’s him for sure” 

“Thank you” you whispered before collapsing into Lucifer’s arms and hugging him tight

“It’s alright lovely. It’s over now. Let’s go see how the detective is handling it. I think they’re in the interrogation room now.”

From behind the glass, you watched the man that threatened your marriage and your husband's life, confess to everything. Admit to stalking you, in order to learn your schedule. Break into your office and open fire on Lucifer. More than enough to get him behind bars for a long time. Decker and Lucifer got up and were ready to leave, but your husband requested a couple of minutes alone with the man. The detective agreed, cautioning him to not do something stupid, before leaving them alone. Lucifer turned on his heels to face the man in handcuffs and you could instantly tell he was furious

“Truly an honorable try. Y/N is one of a kind, you were right about that, the only detail you missed is that, you see, she’s taken. By me” the mischievous smile on his face let you know that he was up to no good “Our bond is indestructible and it’s really laughable to think that you’ve risked so much to tear us apart when you didn’t stand a chance to begin with” Lucifer leaned over the table, now his back was facing you “Me and Y/N are, and forever will be, together. There is nothing you or anyone else can do to change that. She is mine and I am hers, now and for eternity” as his little speech came to an end, you noticed the man in handcuffs go pale with terror. He began shaking in his chair, screaming incoherently about the devil. Even tho you hadn’t see what your husband did, you could tell by the man’s reaction. You laughed to yourself, not even mad that Lucifer had used his devil face against this man. You would have done the same if you had the option.

[i-am-a-bad-gens]

Never Have I Ever

SPOIL ALERT : If you haven't seen season 3 and you don't want spoilers, don't read. It's time to tell you about my favorite series of the moment, and of course the couple I love, hope, want: Devi and Ben.

Why?

Well, it's obvious that Ben is always into her. Secondly, Devi really listens to what he says all the time and she doesn't have so much self-doubt when she's with him. He is so caring, sweet and tender with her, much more so than he ever was with Anissa (especially in season 3, that was really not nice of him). But what about Devi? She is natural with him, she never forces herself, she really likes him, they understand each other. I personally think that together they bring out the best in each other. She was really worried when Ben was stressed and sick with his crazy schedule. At this time she could tell he was not okay just by watching him, she care for him so much.

What about the others?

For me, Devi and Paxton are perfect, as best friends but that's it. She holds back on small attention spans for fear of judgment. She was always on guard because she considered herself inferior (because of the girls at school obviously not Paxton) and it's impossible to be in a healthy relationship in this case (the fault is really neither Paxton nor Devi).  Concerning Des, I don't like his attitude so much. Blindly obeying his mother already, not great but let's admit it. But when he brings his best friend and follows him without trying to put him in his place, it's really not nice. If you're worried about your friend, help him but don't let him drink blindly and do as he pleases, nor let him sweep away your desires (to stay at Devi's that night for example). In short, I don't like him very much... In both relationships unfortunately felt Devi illegitimate and devalued. This feeling was not caused by the boyfriend, but she was not comfortable with herself as Paxton explains so well (heart on him because I love his evolution).

In short?

It's not a question of hobbies, nor of intelligence but Ben and Devi it's really a natural relationship without restraint. Ben is more than a shoulder to cry on, he's the man she needs, and I'm convinced of that since season 1. And a little final note: I haven't read fanfiction for a very long time (about 5-6 years) and I want this couple so much that I started looking for fanfiction about them at the end of season 3! Feel free to say which couple you like in Never Have I Ever and why.

It's a free space, I accept that people disagree with me, it's interesting. And if you agree with me, you can express yourself too of course!

One last question: Which couple do you think is the most popular among the three mentioned?

[mbti-notes]

INFJ. Processing past Fe failures. Want to get better at socializing / having deeper relationships/friendships. Muddling through Ti development - desiring to get better at self-awareness + communication. A lot in my brain and it'd be a lot to share the entirety of recent exchanges that have ended up in failed relationships, so I'll try asking this and hope it's enough to get critical thinking help from you, thank you much in advance. (1/2)

[con't: I notice a pattern of me trying to communicate and express myself to be understand by, or be emotionally met by Fi users, and them responding by saying things like "I don't know what you want from me", "I don't know how to help you," "I'm sorry you feel that way" or them even saying variations of "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" (ENTJ) if I express that I feel dismissed, uncomfortable, or disrespected.

This isn't ALL Fi users thank God & I'm in therapy now to address my downplaying of my emotional needs, being willing to work through anything even though the romantic relationships I'm attracting are woefully incompatible or unhealthy. But I want to get better at doing my part to increase the chance of relationships building. What am I doing/expecting/judging in my communication with Fi users so they respond that way or has me feeling being unseen/misunderstood? Is it the basic INFJ recs?]

You point to Fi specifically. Fi doesn't require outside validation, so perhaps what you're encountering is their lack of concept of outside validation, in the manner that you're seeking it with Fe.

All of those example statements sound like they could be taken sincerely. "I don't know what you want from me" could be an opportunity for you to better explain what you need/want. "I don't know how to help you" could be an opportunity for you to provide better instructions. "I'm sorry you feel that way" could be a helpless admission that the two of you don't see things the same way. "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" could be an indication that there is a need to investigate the big gap between what was perceived and what was actually intended.

Not everyone is going to see eye-to-eye with you, not everyone is going to agree with your version of events, not everyone is going to care about your needs and feelings enough to address them kindly and patiently. This should all be okay with you unless you were walking around expecting everyone out there to have the capacity to meet you emotionally or validate your emotions (unhealthy Fe)? That's simply not gonna happen, so it's an unreasonable expectation. That's why it's so important that YOU be the first to take care of yourself and own your emotions, set proper personal boundaries, and navigate interpersonal boundaries more gracefully.

If you feel someone has violated your boundary (i.e. you feel hurt by them), the answer isn't to violate theirs in return. You're trying to fix a problem in the relationship, so further damaging the relationship isn't going to help. Whether you are right to feel hurt is not the main issue. Feelings themselves are always true and tell you something true about you. However, what you DO about the feelings isn't always right. There are two main ways people deal with negative feelings: 1) bottle them up, which amounts to self-harm, or 2) express them, which opens up the possibility of doing harm to others, if they don't have the means to process your feelings. Neither way is ideal.

If your main approach is to expect people to change (when they can't or don't want to), expect them to give you more than they are capable of giving (due to not having the means or resources), expect them to understand something that they are not really capable of understanding (when they just don't think in the same way as you), etc, your expectations are easily perceived as "demands". You're essentially pressuring people to be what you want them to be, which amounts to dishonoring them and violating their boundary. This approach is usually met with submission or resistance. If they submit to you (because they care for you), they will be unhappy for having allowed you to violate their boundary, and the problem will recur because it was only swept under the rug. If they resist you, conflict ensues, and the relationship bond will be tested and possibly threatened, especially if the conflict recurs without resolution.

There is a way to honor your feelings while also honoring others' feelings. It requires you to have good emotional intelligence and be a good communicator. Good emotional intelligence means respecting your feelings and taking full responsibility for them. Instead of seeing yourself as the victim (i.e. "you made me feel this way"), you see yourself as an agent with the power to decide what is best (i.e. "I feel this way and this is what I should do about it"). Positioning yourself as a passive or helpless victim means that you cast blame and eventually demand reparations. Positioning yourself as an active and influential agent means that you survey the situation objectively and then try to act in the best interests of everyone involved. This is what healthy and confident Fe should look like.

For example, when you feel dismissed, maybe you bottle it up for awhile, until you can't take it anymore (because the problem remains unaddressed). Then you confront people and say, "I feel dismissed". This implies that the other person has done something bad to you. You are the victim, which puts them on the spot, feeling like the bad guy, and then they can't hear you, due to becoming too preoccupied with not wanting to be the bad guy. Communication is likely to stall there, unless they have the wherewithal (emotional intelligence) to keep their focus on you and your concerns.

Instead, you could say to yourself, "I feel dismissed". You take full responsibility for your feelings and validate them for yourself. When you are good at validating your own feelings and emotions (something you admit you really struggle with), you'll eventually find that you won't need to rely on others to do it for you.

What does it mean to feel dismissed? It means that you believe you're not being taken seriously, or something to that effect. Not very difficult to understand. What to do about it? The feeling of disharmony is a message to you that you have to do more to advocate for yourself and make space for yourself within the relationship/group (it is good Fe advice). There are many ways to advocate for yourself without stepping on others. If you choose the right way, in terms of honoring everyone involved, the feeling of being dismissed will dissipate naturally. If you choose the wrong way, in terms of honoring yourself but dishonoring others, you'll encounter the problem again, because you haven't addressed the underlying problem of you positioning yourself as the victim in every relationship conflict. Chronic victim mentality is often an indication that you depend too much on outside validation of your self-worth.

Unless you are stuck in a very toxic social environment, the majority of people are not malicious for no reason. Before accusing or blaming, are you absolutely certain that they INTENDED to dismiss you? If not, wouldn't it be wise to gather more info? For instance, you could ask something like, "Have you had the time to give my idea serious consideration?" No blaming, no battling, no victim-victimizer dynamic. Do you understand how communicating without blame, through genuine inquiry, avoids trapping the both of you in a vicious cycle of seeking emotional reparations? You give people the benefit of the doubt. You give people the chance to clarify or explain. You give yourself the chance to grasp the FULL picture so that you can make a more informed decision about what to do (based on their response to your question). But this presence of mind isn't possible when you can't accept your feelings/emotions and they run wild as a result.

One common misapplication of Ti is the tendency to jump to illogical conclusions or make up illogical stories about what is motivating people's negative behavior, all the while believing that you're being completely logical. It's a destructive way to deal with negative or disharmonious feelings. Once the false narrative infects your mind, you can't help but perceive the person as attacking you, even when they're not. This misuse of Ti is a major impediment to relationship building.

The problem with victim mentality is that you are hyperfocused on your perspective only, so you only have half the picture, which means making ill-informed decisions. If you are prone to Ti loop, you need to get to the bottom of why you're so quick to position yourself in the passive position of victim. A healthy relationship should be an equal partnership based on trust, which means that you should always try to 1) give people the benefit of the doubt, and 2) gather the facts of the situation before drawing a conclusion about what they intended or what kind of character they are.

If the fact of the matter is that the person really doesn't care about your feelings, then you know not to seek validation from them, and perhaps distance from them for your own good. Don't play around in toxic or abusive relationships. If the fact of the matter is that your perception of the situation doesn't match up with what they intended to say/do, then it's up to you to straighten out the situation in your mind before proceeding.

Trust your feelings, validate your feelings, but don't act blindly on them (i.e. without fully grasping what's happening with the other person). Figure out why exactly you're feeling what you're feeling, then take it up with the person in a way that addresses the root of the problem and in a way that doesn't immediately put them on the defensive. Conflict is sometimes unavoidable, but being more skilled at communicating your concerns will certainly reduce the amount of pain required to reach a resolution.

[o-king-of-suns]

“exceeds his own”

I never realized that there is SO much toxicity in the AoT shipping community till  recently when I joined some social media platforms and saw how awful it can get. I also never thought that I will be involved in these stupid shipping wars till I saw how shippers, intentionally or unintentionally, twist Levi’s character to make him something that he is not. I never particularly minded any ship; I actually liked all the ships that included Levi (because I love Levi). It was all fun and games till I saw the horrible takes on Levi’s character and actions by shippers who care about nothing but try to prove something about their ship that isn’t there. So, I decided to rant about it here and I will post regularly about some of the controversial opinions that are circulated around when it comes to Levi and his relationships with some of the other characters.

In today’s post I will be talking about one of the famous lines that some people like to crop out of context, circulate around, and use it as some kind of proof for the validity of their ship. 

It’s the famous line where Isayama said that, to Levi  “Erwin’s  life exceeds his own”

This line gets passed around in the AoT shipping community as if it has some kind of romantic implications when it absolutely doesn’t! Some fans are naive enough to believe it and  they don’t even bother to check the interview.

Isayama said that the reason Levi always operates alongside Erwin is because he interpreted Erwin’s “For Humanity’s Future” as an altruistic intention that Levi never considered himself, so Levi ends up adopting it as his own life’s mission.” Levi always viewed and idolized Erwin as this selfless, altruistic visionary that he could never dream to become like. Not just him, almost everyone in the SC did. Erwin just had this power over people. Erwin showed Levi something that he lacked in himself and that’s why Levi trusted him blindly. Moreover, the reason Levi trusted Erwin so much is that Erwin could come up with schemes and strategies whereas Levi was really just exceptional at fighting. Without someone with strategic intelligence, Levi wouldn't know what to do, couldn't be pointed at the right targets. So trusting Erwin is partially based on Erwin's proven talents, but also partially based on necessity. Levi has to trust someone, has to believe someone else sees how to achieve the bigger picture. Levi himself admits that he’s no strategist in one of the chapters, but I can’t remember which chapter exactly. 

This is what Isayama meant when he said that "Erwin's existence exceeds" Levi's in one of his interviews. He also said, IN THE SAME INTERVIEW, that Levi’s trust in Erwin started to slowly change when he started doubting Erwin's true motivations. It first happened when Erwin smiled when they realized that titans might actually be humans and I'm quoting from the interview: “prior to this, he never actually recognized Erwin’s true nature, and thought Erwin’s existence exceeded his own.” He THOUGHT  it did, but he later started to realize that  Erwin's intentions aren't as "altruistic" as he thought they were. I can’t emphasize on the word  THOUGHT enough.

Initially, Levi didn’t analyze Erwin’s reactions any deeper and thought it has to do with Erwin just being mysterious, but Isayama said:  “But in volume 18, while facing an Erwin who wanted to command the mission no matter what - and could not be persuaded otherwise - Levi had to become a little angry.

The reason to why Levi was insistent on having Erwin stay behind  is because he believed that Erwin staying behind would have benefited them/humanity more than being dead because there was a huge possibility that this would happen since Erwin is unable to fight with just one arm. I’m sure that Levi worried for his safety as well (that’s how a good friend Levi is), but,as Isayama said, he also felt  ANGRY because Erwin’s true motivations weren’t clear to him and his decision to join the battle might lead to undesirable consequences. 

Isayama: His line of “I’ll trust your judgment, then” actually also contains a tinge of “If anything happens, you will have to take responsibility.” 

And it’s because Levi is such a good judge of people’s characters and a TRULY kind and compassionate man,during the battle, when Erwin talked about his dream of going basement, Levi quickly accepted Erwin’s child-like side (even though he felt betrayed as Isayama said) and helped assure him that they wouldn’t have reached that far if it weren’t for Erwin. It’s because of Levi’s words that Erwin became a adult who prioritizes his responsibilities over his dreams. Levi constantly does this with EVERYONE. He comforted Hange when they thought were responsible for Sannes death. He constantly motivates them. He comforted Armin when he killed a human for the first time ad assured him that if it weren’t for his decision, Jean would’ve died and he’s grateful for that. He also comforted Jean when he told him that not to beat himself up and not think back when he hesitated to kill the enemy. He did this with Eren MANY times. He quickly forgave Kenny for abandoning him. He quickly forgave Mikasa for almost killing him. He forgave Eren for disobeying him. He forgave Erwin for not being completely honest with him. This is how wonderful Levi is.

Levi is a wonderful character with complex motivations and a person who deeply cares about his comrades and friends, and to reduce him to a love interest is just NOT OK

[ventiskies]

When he rejects you | Chongyun, Scaramouche, Albedo

a/n: hello friends!! i apologize for my somewhat disappearance TwT im currently having exam season but i couldnt help but write something for my favorite three (and yes, scara is there... and honestly, I don't know when I started simping for him either but you can now call me a future scaramouche haver >:)) so not a request, but do enjoy !! <3 (apologies if there are any errors!!)

pairing: chongyun x gn! reader, scaramouche x gn! reader, albedo x gn! reader (platonic)

Chongyun

★ Chongyun, Xingqiu and you had been best friends since you were kids. And although you were a trio, you and Chongyun had always known each other much longer.

★ If your life were a book, it would be a sweet childhood best friends growing up together genre, something that often piqued Xingqiu’s interests when he drags the two of you to Wanwen bookhouse

★ The books you had borrowed from Xingqiu about them all ended with the same thing; that they end up becoming a couple and growing up together. Reminiscing about their childhood youth when they were old.

★ You knew not to trust the books or use them as a guide, but just like the books, you had grown to fall in love with the icy-haired boy.

★ Chongyun was like a breath of fresh air. His determination in exorcising ‘evil spirits' to the point that he blindly falls for Xingqiu and your pranks were the things that you loved about him. He was filled with enthusiasm and positivity (literally).

★ You grew into enjoying his positive attitude, you couldn't imagine a day going by without Chongyun telling you and Xingqiu about a so called 'haunted' place he had found, and forcing the two of you to come with him. and even if it had ended without meeting a single spirit, he would still be in high spirits.

★ you loved it, seeing the rush of thrill he feels whenever he senses a spirit nearby, hoping the spirit was able to withstand his excessive yang energy. the repeating days without one successful exorcism, only to end up getting treated to a meal by Xingqiu, and the parting that always ends with a promise to see each other the day after. Chongyun speaks his emotions, and you were in love with that.

★ and him, just in general.

★ And one day, you had decided to tell him just that

★ You were both on the hunt for Jueyun chilies for Xiangling, a small commission that you had decided to take on while waiting for Xingqiu to finish his work at the guild. The sun had set, and you had returned from Qingce village with a bucket full of the chilies and had decided to rest on top of the mountain where you had both Waypointed to just to admire the sunset.

★ In the heat of the moment, you had spoken.

“I like you, Chongyun,” you had said, looking at him with a smile.

★ You would have accepted a silence. You had expected it to be like the books; he would gently laugh and look at you, admitting that he had been waiting for you to say the exact words, lean in to kiss you. It would be awkward at first, but it’ll also be something to look back to in the future when kissing becomes something you do every day. You’d return back to Liyue Harbor hand in hand, and be able to tell Xingqiu and Xiangling that he was your boyfriend now, and admit to the former that maybe his books were right.

★ But instead, you were met with Chongyun’s wide eyes staring at you. His cheeks flushed red with what you had tried hard to hope was shyness, but had appealed more like panic. He had stood up and cleared his throat

“We- we should get back,” he says, too quickly for someone as calm as he is. And you knew it was a wrong step, “I’m-,” he clears his throat, “I’m going to go ahead first. I'm sorry,”

★ You didn’t know if he was apologizing for leaving early, or for not being able to accept your feelings, but when you hadn't seen him the following day, you could only assume.

Scaramouche

★ Honestly, you had it coming for you.

★ Scaramouche is someone whose life is their job. There was nothing that could distract him from working for the Tsaritsa

★ You had (been self-entitled) as his best friend. And honestly, if Scaramouche knew of it, he doesn't blame you. Everyone in the Fatui and who worked under the Fatui knew how close you were. Which was odd because, for one, you were absolutely nothing like him. Although you weren't exactly liked by everyone, you weren't loathed by everyone like the sixth harbinger was.

★ Scaramouche was feared by anyone who hears his name or walks a foot away from him, while you carried a calmer aura. Without glancing, Scaramouche could bring his subordinates trembling, while they would greet you when you pass by them.

★ You were polar opposites, and yet, everyone has seen the two of you together so much that when he wasn't with you or the other way around, people would assume you were on a solo mission or just leaving the other’s quarters

★ Of course, being his best friend, you weren’t spared of his usual harsh words. As a matter of fact, you probably had it much worse than anyone else. It had almost seemed as if every time he spoke, he spoke like he was trying to get rid of you.

★ But if that really were the case, then he hasn’t been trying his best. You had stayed with him since you had become an ally to the Fatui, and ever since then had stayed by his side. When others shake in fear, you shake your head with a laugh and a retort.

★ It had even come as a surprise to you when you had realized you had fallen for the harbinger. You would think that spending time with such a foul-mouthed person who would murder someone in the blink of an eye with no hesitation would make you dislike him. But that didn’t happen.

★ In fact, it was quite the opposite. You had fallen in love with him.

★ It wasn’t obvious to anyone, and even you had to take the time to squint to look for it. But Scaramouche did care for you in his own way. Whether it be toning down the harsh words when he sees your mood dampen after a mission, or beating the shit out of a person who had attacked you ruthlessly, not stopping even after his hands were covered in crimson liquid and the person almost certainly died. Even if he calls you a hindrance afterward for dirtying his hands, he definitely thought of you the same as you thought of him.

★ A friend.

★ Or, you had hoped, something more.

★ It was a mistake to take his slight kindness as a sign of him liking you, it truly was.

★ During your journey to Inazuma for a mission, you had decided to confess to him out of the blue. You knew he was someone who could predict the outcome of something even before you said anything, so a slow confession when the sun was setting in a field of flowers would just be a waste of time. if there was something you learned, it's to cut to the chase with him.

“Hey Scara,” you had said quietly. He had replied with a low hum, not turning back to look at you, “I like you.”

★ Without a second thought, Scaramouche had taken you by surprise as well.

★ He had not stopped in his tracks, instead, his shoulders shook in laugher. His laugh wasn't the same laugh you hear whenever you make a stupid mishap or get slightly injured during a simple mission- no, those laughs were warmer. Although laced with unkindness, they were more familiar.

★ This one was condescending. As if you were a new recruit again, having to work under him. As if all those years as friends had just gone down the drain.

“Stupid. What a fool of me to assume you were different.” he says, voice clear as a bell in the night, “don’t be an inconvenience. I don't have time for people like you.”

Albedo

★ Ever since working under Albedo with Sucrose, your life had been nothing but full of wonder. Although some were dangerous, Albedo and you bonded easily as if you had worked together in a past life.

★ Albedo was a genius. He was someone you looked up to, and sometime during your investigations, he had become a friend. You didn't know when it started. When it had gone from two alchemists staying the night in Dragonspine to observe the different stages of new plant growth, to- with the permission of the acting grandmaster - just two people, two friends, going out to explore the seven nations.

★ Sucrose and Timaeus had stayed back in Mondstadt to finish experiments that you both had decided to put on hold for your trip, and with nothing to worry about, the two of you had gone out with nothing but the protection of each other (and your visions, of course), and a few packed meals from Good Hunter.

★ Albedo had a side that no one saw unless they spent nights camping with him in the middle of nowhere. You were one of the lucky people who were able to see that side of his during your trips around the seven.

★ The alchemist wasn't just curious about the way the world works, he had also been curious with, well, you.

★ Some nights when he couldn't go to sleep (which was often. You’d be surprised to see how messed up his sleep schedule was), he would sit in front of the fire you had both worked hard to make, and simply talk.

★ sometimes, it would be short conversations. but more than often, you find yourself talking about everything and nothing until the sun rose above the mountains, and you would have to continue your journey until one of you (usually being you,) were too tired to continue.

★ Albedo talks with passion, no matter what the topic is. He could be talking about what you were going to be having for dinner for the next night before you reach the first region in your trip, and he would already have you captivated.

★ Albedo also talks with gentleness. And this was the said side not a lot of people would be able to see from the chief alchemist. Whenever the tent was filled with comforting silence, you would be able to hear Albedo asking you questions about yourself. They weren’t your standard, what was your dream growing up? Kind of questions, but they were more specific. More… personal.

★ Is it not funny, how life works? What if a single moment had changed in the past, I and you wouldn't have met. He would question, eyes trained to the flames burning in front of him. It sounded rhetorical, but his tone was laced with wonder. He sounds as if he was expecting an answer, but he doesn't urge you for one. And every time he does, you merely hum.

★ Albedo was gentle in everything he did. Almost all the time you were with him, he had never acted brashly. He was patient, kind.

★ and that was most likely what had prompted your crush on the alchemist

★ crushing on Albedo was like looking up at the stars. he was someone who shined brightly, but you knew he was too far to reach, yet despite that, you had still attempted to.

★ you had decided to finally let it all out on him the night of your final stay before you reached your final region, which was Inazuma.

★ and that, you had realized a little too late, had been the icing on top of a really terrible cake.

"Albedo," you had stared, and the alchemist immediately turned towards you. that was something you had grown fond of. you knew Albedo was a man married to his work, so when he turns to you in the midst of it, you felt your stomach churn in delight, "I have to tell you something,"

“Hm?” he hums, setting his notepad down to give you his full attention, “what is it, y/n?”

★ You took a deep breath, and the moment you had opened your mouth to tell him, you had a sinking feeling you had made a huge mistake.

“I like you, a lot,” you muttered, “not just platonically, Albedo. I… I think you're really interesting. and if you'd like, I would love to be with you. ”

★ Albedo’s face had fallen, and although it had been the slightest, you had still noticed it. He looked at you as if the cogs were turning in his brain, and finally, he looks down

“I must apologize,” he starts, and you feel your stomach drop, “but I’m not interested in you that way, y/n. If it makes you feel better, I see you as a very dear friend,”

★ You nod, apologizing to Albedo before he offers a small smile before continuing his research

★ You both did not speak of it, but there was a very thick air of silence hangs over the two of you afterward, that didn't dissipate even after you both left the camp.

[gch1995]

Anakin came into the Jedi order after he had formed an attachment to his mother. The Jedi literally took him from the person who was in effect, his home and forbade him from ever seeing her the way he was accustomed to. There was never going to be a time when Anakin would wholeheartedly accept to be trained like every other Jedi- he couldn’t. What Anakin needed was an experienced Jedi Master that walked a ways apart from the Jedi order. Anakin needed Qui Gon Jinn.

I agree with you on entirely on the reasoning behind how and why Obi-Wan Kenobi and the Jedi Council fucked up Anakin Skywalker in the prequels. However, I disagree that Qui-Gonn Jinn would have been much better. Yeah, for his time, he was a more flexible, idealistic, kindhearted, and open-minded Jedi , who like Luke and initially Anakin Skywalker, was more interested in being a hero because he genuinely had aspirations to change the galaxy for the better and wanted to help people, not just to obey Yoda and the Council by blindly kissing their asses to obsessively avoid the dark side, destroy the Sith, get on the Council, and serve the “greater good” of an elitist government that only benefitted the freedom and rights of its own middle and upper class.

While I do realize that it’s not all Obi-Wan’s fault he grew up to be such a deeply close-minded, dysfunctional, hypocritical, stubborn, and vain kiss ass of Yoda as an adult, part of the reason why I have so much difficulty empathizing with him is because he always remained that way, in spite of his closest relationships always being with people who are and/or once were genuinely good and heroic people because they truly wanted to make a difference in the world for the better or save other people without any thought of reward, security, or validation. Yes, before the Jedi fucked him up, Sidious fucked him up, and then he fucked up himself, Anakin was one of those genuinely idealistic and selflessly good characters who did the right thing without any thought of reward for himself. Then, he got back to that again in the end for Luke.

Obi-Wan was a lifelong victim of indoctrination into a cult that discouraged individuality and idealism, so it’s not all his fault he ended up as so comfortably in-denial of his own flaws, but considering he had his closest relationships with so many idealistically and selflessly good people at one point or another, it’s hard to not see that, while his agency was compromised, Obi-Wan also made a conscious effort to not be a true hero like Luke, Anakin at his best, Or Qui Gonn at his best because being that way didn’t gain them favor from Yoda and the Council and didn’t get them ahead in the Jedi.

I think a part of him secretly desired to make a genuine difference for the better of others out of the spontaneous kindness and selflessness of his heart like Luke, Anakin at his best, Ahsoka at her best, or Qui Gonn at his best, but his desire for getting validation from Yoda, fitting in with the Jedi, and getting ahead to be on the Council was always greater, so he ultimately learned to screw them over and shut them down when it was “necessary” to Yoda and the Council instead.

That’s Obi-Wan’s tragedy, but it also makes me lose sympathy for him after a while in the narrative too because he had plenty of opportunities to learn from people who were genuinely better people than him at some point or another, but he never really did because he didn’t want to. It was generally about trying to get Yoda’s and the Council’s validation so he could feel of worth and get a place on the Council.

For as much as this fandom waxes poetic about Obi-Wan being heroically brave, kind, and selfless, he never really had those moments in GL canon and the original EU. Even Anakin has more of those moments throughout the franchise, and he also becomes one of the main villains. While Obi-Wan was a victim, he also had a lot of opportunities to learn how to be a better person from people he knew who were genuinely better than him at one point or another, but he never really did, even if he did love them. He was far too self-involved in his own desires for validation from Yoda and to get ahead on the Council.

Still, while Qui Gonn was a better person than Obi-Wan in terms of his morality, I still don’t think he would have been able to protect Anakin from the entire Council, or the trauma of the Order and life as a child soldier, the separation from his mother, and the only reason why he noticed Anakin in the first place at all is because he saw him as a powerful weapon against the Sith. Anakin’s agency is being stripped here.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hey! I love your meta’s, a little while ago you talked about The Order of the Phoenix as an organization could you talk about the Death Eaters?

The post anon is referencing.

TL;DR the Order is incompetently hilarious and Dumbledore is a man who trusts no one.

Oh, the Death Eaters, what to say about the Death Eaters...

In a World Without Voldemort, They'd Probably Be Arsonists

One of the things JKR implies in the series, and something fandom seems to take for granted, is that Tom Riddle is the ultimate corrupting influence.

Were it not for him, the Wizarding World would be a much better place, and people like Bellatrix LeStrange would be productive members of society.

As soon as he is killed, even, by Harry, the good guys win, their problems all presumably solved, and Harry tells his son Albus Severus that it's totally fine if he's put into Slytherin.

I don't believe that though.

To me, it's not so much that Tom Riddle corrupted these people, but that he gave them an organized cause. The people themselves, oh, they were itching for a fight.

In a world without Tom I think they'd be a loosely, poorly organized, group (probably with Bellatrix as the ring leader) where they commit acts of domestic terrorism probably involving burning offensive shops to the ground or attacking muggleborns, halfbloods, and blood traitors.

Voldemort, to me, is designed to pander to them (and not the other way around).

The Death Eaters' Beginnings

So, first off, I think Tom's goals are not what he says they are. What he represents to his followers is exactly what they want to hear, wrapped in a grandiose theatric bow that they just love.

But how did this all start?

First, I don't believe in the Knights of Walpurgis. Instead I think Tom came relatively out of nowhere in the 70's uses parseltongue to prove his heritage as the Heir of Slytherin and thus of purer blood than any of them.

He throws these exciting rallies/parties that the rebellious, angsty, teenage heirs all go to. There he says everything they wanted to hear in the most eloquent manner they've ever heard, promises them the action that their fathers have never delivered, promises them a role in the glorious revolution and a place in history, and probably offers them mounds of cocaine.

All the Death Eaters we see, or the core of them, appear to be in this age range where they'd be in Hogwarts or just out of it when Voldemort came knocking. I can imagine they're all whipped up with excitement, YEAH LET'S BLOW UP THE MUDBLOODS and for some that's great, for others... things don't go the way they expected.

October 31, 1981: It All Falls Apart

Regulus famously steals Tom's horcrux. I imagine it wasn't so much that he learned the error of his ways but that he saw what Tom Riddle was really after: the destruction of his very society.

Lucius is riding high until October 31, 1981 and he sees the complete destruction of the entire Black family. Lucius' priorities greatly shift and as he grows older he prays Voldemort never returns. Unfortunately, Tom does, and he charges interest.

Bellatrix absolutely loses her mind, refuses to accept reality, and tries to torture the Longbottoms for information they do not possess. She is imprisoned in Azkaban and never truly recovers from this.

Snape ends up the cause of death for Lily Evans and must forever live with the guilt and be tied to her prophesied son. He also becomes Dumbledore's lackey forever, which ultimately gets him killed.

Point being, no one's having a good time. Some because they figure out being a Death Eater wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and others because they had the Voldemort rug pulled out from under their feet when Tom Riddle disappears.

Pettigrew flees and lives as the Weasley rat for nearly fifteen years.

They're left making a mad scramble as they try to pick up the pieces of their lives.

Canon Catches Up

More than ten years go by and then suddenly, in a muggle graveyard, the surviving Death Eaters discover that they are bound to Voldemort for the rest of their lives.

Death cannot stop this man and he has branded them: there's no escape.

Some are still enthusiastic supporters of the cause: Bellatrix is vindicated that her lord has returned, he rescues her from hell on earth, and everything's finally coming up Bella. Barty is similar in actively working for Voldemort's resurrection.

Lucius, meanwhile, lives in constant terror. Karkaroff desperately flees the country and hopes Tom will not find him. Snape, is in fact, Dumbledore's agent. Pettigrew only returned in utter desperation and has now cut off his own hand.

They're not the young men they were, some of them have families, to some of the past ten years have been utterly miserable. They have to watch as their children make the same damn mistakes they did, be sucked into this same hell hole, and there's nothing they can do about it.

There is a notable reluctance for the cause, and yet, they have to try with the same vigor or this madman will kill them all.

And it's all worthless anyway: come 1998, Voldemort dies again (perhaps for real this time, who knows, Harry Potter seems to think so for whatever reason) and then they are imprisoned for their acts as Death Eaters.

And they just laugh, because how badly Lucius wishes he could go back in time and tell his eighteen-year-old self, "YOU DUMB FUCK, LEAVE NOW!"

But Do They Learn Anything?

No.

Just because we see some of them regret being Death Eaters doesn't mean they regret their beliefs. Their beliefs were fine, even blowing up people here and there, a bit gauche but fine.

But maybe following Voldemort blindly was a bad idea.

Are They More Competent Than the Order?

No.

Tom Riddle is terrifyingly competent in that he infiltrates the government with ease, has spies everywhere, and all but proclaims himself minister one day and nobody blinks.

He gains the full support of most of the wizarding world's wealthiest and prestigious families.

But he doesn't actually give these people anything to do. Because there's nothing for them to do, with them, Tom's won. He owns the Wizengamot, the Ministry, everything.

There's no need to fight. It's over, there never was a war. Society is primed to accept Tom Riddle as their ruler.

However, the likes of Bellatrix LeStrange thinks there's a glorious war on, so "uh, go out and blow up a few muggles, have fun." And the young Death Eaters (and the older ones), think they've committed this great, daring, brave, and very important act.

Tom only seems to hand out real assignments when in desperate straits or else when being particularly vindictive.

Lucius, after messing up with the diary, is told to retrieve a prophecy he is not allowed to touch in a department of the ministry he should have no access to. If he fails: Tom kills his entire family. When Lucius does fail, Tom assigns his son to assassinate an already dying Dumbledore. These aren't real tasks, though they do have the appearance of one, and consequences for failure.

Barty, Tom is forced to rely on, as he is trapped in this dying infant's body. And better Barty, someone who is truly loyal and seems fairly clever, than Peter Pettigrew who is a miserable scum bag who'd sell his grandmother for a bar of soap.

Barty, of course, fucks this up. Rather than just kidnap Harry Potter at any of the many easy points this could be done (Hogsmeade trip, lure Harry out to Hogsmeade with super secret serial information about Voldemort/Snape being a Death Eater, etc.), Barty is determined to make use of the Triwizard Tournament to destroy his father's legacy.

This means rather than a few weeks, it takes months to kidnap Harry, and even then they bring along an extra boy who then gets killed and provides some evidence that Tom Riddle has in fact returned. (Somebody murdered Cedric). It takes months and Barty actively ensuring Harry makes it through the tournament and does well, leaving open the possibility that he might get caught helping Harry cheat at any moment. And of course, Barty has to pretend to be Madeye Moody for months, keeping his man locked and drugged in his trunk.

Thankfully, Moody's such a paranoid wreck, no one even notices.

Quirrell, Tom is forced to rely on. Quirrell fucks up, though admittedly not as badly as Barty. Quirrell fails to steal the stone when it's in transit/in Gringotts. He fails to murder Harry Potter, an eleven year old boy in the world's most dangerous school. He rouses Snape's suspicion almost immediately. Then of course he doesn't get the stone. He at least gets to the room with the stone and nearly overpowers Harry and gets it had he not been mysteriously lit on fire by the power of love/Lily Evans.

The only one Tom ever really relies on by choice is Snape. Snape is charged with spying on Dumbledore and later running Hogwarts (which he fucks up).

There is only one competent man in Britain: Severus Snape. Which is, of course, why he's a double agent that Dumbledore and Tom both extensively rely on despite his being a double agent.

There's no one else.

Tom Riddle doesn't make use of the Death Eaters but given they prove themselves enthusiastically incompetent at every turn I don't blame him. Just pretend to give them something to do and hope it makes them feel important.

That's all I've got in general, you want anything else you'll have to ask for something more specific.