#there is like no textual reason to believe this is accurate

[multifandumbmeg]

Alright SCREW IT here's my Kiara defense post:

Is it annoying to watch get paired off with everyone in the main cast? Sure. Let me explain why that's not a character flaw or terrible, unplanned writing so yall can put some respect on her name.

1. They're ALL in love with her, and literally throwing themselves at her all the time. This is so important and well-documented that John B literally tells us IN HIS INTRODUCTION TO THE GROUP in episode one. It is literally so relevant to their entire group dynamic that he brings it up in the first episode summary of who they all are. Guys actually do this I have seen this happen. One of my high school best friends was constantly manic pixie dream girled (despite being profoundly depressed) and several entire friend groups of boys fell in love with her. She dated one guy, who was a piece of shit and dumped her saying it was because of his parents but told his friends it was because she had too much baggage. The fallout was so bad, one guy from one of the friend groups tattled to her and a different guy, who was best friends with the douche, literally got into a fight with him and THE DOUCHE HAD TO CHANGE FRIEND GROUPS BECAUSE HIS BOYS KICKED HIM OUT. I'm serious about these teenage boys all having the same taste and thinking it's a competition.

2. John B kissed HER. She immediately shut him down. Immediately. Everything before that can easily be explained as Kiara being concerned about him after losing his father. Teenage boys are dumb anyhow, but it's particularly easy to see why John B and JJ, who have both been routinely neglected and grew up without mothers (read, any positive female attention/influence) would interpret this as Kiara having feelings for them. They fall in love with anyone who sincerely gives them the time of day, basically. And that's a little too relatable moving on.

3. "Mixed signals" by kissing boys on the cheek. While I would not recommend this, I think there was a very clear pattern to her behavior and I have a theory I'm 99% sure is canon, based on copious textual evidence.

Kiara was in love with JJ all along. I'll come back to this. She only kissed the boys she friendzoned on the cheek. With John B, I genuinely think she never had any sort of romantic feelings for him and just saw him as a best bro. But she was worried about him, and maybe realized he listened to her more when she did it. Nonetheless, the minute he gets with Sarah it's almost like she feels relieved and never does anything remotely mixed signals to him again. Now Pope? That is a rich text. What the hell is going on with her and Pope?

4. When Pope first confesses, Kiara is once again caught off-guard. She once again rightfully turns him down IMMEDIATELY and gives extremely accurate and self-aware reasons. Her rejection of him is surprisingly mature, that the life he plans on and wants is ultimately and assuredly not compatible with what she wants for herself. So why did she kinda date him? Honestly, I think it was an attempt to move on from what she believed were doomed feelings for JJ. After all the things that happen in season 1, after Pope going off the deep end a little bit by smoking weed, getting drunk, and engaging in acts of violence, as well as ditching his scholarship interview, Kiara suddenly experiences a spark of attraction towards Pope.

Because he's acting like JJ. Reckless. Using substances to cope. Chaotic. Spontaneous. She knows these things are bad for Pope, and she's at times put off by how un-Pope-like they are as his friend, but she has a type. So following a moment of attraction and the sudden supposed loss of John B (and Sarah), she decides to give it a go. Maybe Pope's different after everything that happened. And he is, but not quite the way she was expecting. To link this back to the cheek-kissing thing, honestly, I think Kiara lowkey has the ick 😂. She consistently shoves any of the boys who try to touch her at all away except for JJ, the entire series mind you, except for these little cheek kisses like that's all she can manage to do. She kisses Pope like twice and ends up sleeping with him, at which point she realizes she just can't do it. She's not consistently attracted to her, and she can't get past her feelings for JJ, so she calls it off. Again, that's a fair healthy, and kind thing to do. When you realize it's not going to work, especially if you have feelings for someone else, it is distinctly NOT dragging people around to cut it off. If Kie has a real problem, honestly? I think it's that ultimately she wants a man she can fix. And Pope's fine. So that's him out.

My proof that the writers absolutely intended Kiara to have feelings for JJ from day one:

"Did you tell JJ?" specifically. Just JJ. She doesn't want HIM to think she's taken.

Shoving away John B and Pope every time they try to hug her or put an arm around her etc. Letting JJ hug her, take her hand, sling his arm around her etc. She also goes out of her way to touch him by taking his arm, holding him when he's crying, hugging him several times and then almost kissing him. So in a way, I'd very much like you to consider, Kiara was not in fact sending everyone mixed signals, her problem was that she was so consistent. Consistently attracted to and in love with someone she thought had no real interest in her. JJ flirts with her jokingly, and from episode 1 and the convo in the bell tower between John B and Sarah, we know that he's a horny little dude. And that's not surprising either, because people who've been abused tend to go one way or the other- either very physical touch-seeking in an attempt to balance about the bad, or very touch-avoidant. JJ is clearly, demonstably in column A. Not just with Kiara, but he also initiates hugs with John B and Pope, touches their faces, and even kisses Pope on the cheek once. He's clearly a very touchy person with everyone, so I can see how Kiara would be unsure about his feelings when he very much does not communicate his wants or needs with words.

Finally, the proof that Kiara had feelings for JJ, and that Jiara was the direction the show was headed, was in their conversation in thr storage container. When JJ tells her what he wants from life and plans to do with the money, it's a direct parallel to her initial reject of Pope. He wants to travel the world and be spontaneous and non-sedentary and have no use for money. Everything she said to Pope and is always trying to explain to her parents. That was 0% accidental, that was the writers making it clear: these two are a match, they're compatible on a much deeper level.

4. So if they always planned on JJ and Kiara, why didn't those two just get together to start? The answer, my friends, is jealousyy. This is a common tactic in writing to get a couple together: force the reluctant one to acknowledge their feelings by putting the other in a relationship with someone else. Im short: every moment between Kiara and John B or Pope was to show us JJ did not like that and therefore that his feelings for Kiara were serious, unlike how she interpreted them and him being a flirty himbo with other girls. It also helped Kiara realize she wasn't getting over him any time soon, and that she couldn't avoid her feelings either. So it forced them both to give up and acknowledge to themselves that they had feelings for the other.

5. "Teenage girls don't act like her" JOKES. This is the dumbest argument I've seen, I'm sorry. I'm happy you have met such well-adjusted teenage girls but buddy... I have known some teenage girls and people who used to identify as girls at that age who would make you roll over in your grave. Some people don't know what they want, some people desperately crave attention, some people just can't seem to avoid drama or make good choices and sometimes that's even a resulted of untreated disabilities or mental illness. Sometimes it's all of the above. My point is absolutely there are teenage girls who act like Kiara and faaar worse.

6. Lastly, why not John B or Pope? Why was Kiara totally valid for not liking them romantically? Well feelings are feelings so she's valid anyways but can we talk about them both touching her/making moves at inappropriate times without consent?? It's understandable she likes JJ and feels the safest around him when he's the only who doesn't act like he wants or expects anything from her. He never kisses her without consent, let alone while running from the cops randomly. He never tries to put his arm around her or make a move in the middle of them having an emotionally intimate conversation where she is clearly seeking emotional comfort. I'm not saying John B or Pope are bad people, but with Kiara both showed a lot of immaturity and failed to read the room numerous times. They acted whenever they personally felt attraction, regardless of where she was at at the time. There's such a thing as reading body signals, and the only times JJ comes close to making an actual move on Kiara is when she comes to him, gets close to his face and leans in. In the end, he only kisses her after she looks him dead in the eyes and tells him I LOVE YOU. That's on respect. Also, John B and Pope both get their shit together and learn this with their next girlfriends! So good on them!

But Kiara confessed to JJ at a random time too! I hear you shouting. NAY. Incorrect!! JJ is actively avoiding her and having a mature conversation about how they feel about each other, and also the fact that he stole from her family, and that is on HIM. That is a result of his issues and his fear and poor coping mechanisms. Kiara forced him to address it at an inopportune time because she already attempt to address it privately TWICE and he wouldn't let her. So all she did there was clear the air and make her own feelings known, which he needed to hear. That is the last conversation they have before he attempts to apologize and confess back. That is what convinces him that Kiara's feelings for him are both genuine and serious, and that no amount of pushing her away will succeed. She loves him unconditionally, which he did not know was possible until then.

So in short!! Kiara actually behaves like a real human being. She's not crazy, extremely selfish, nor an example of writers just testing out the waters and seeing what the fans want or who has the most chemistry. She is very consistent. The only thing I can really begrudge about her behavior towards her friends (her parents are a different story) is that she's insensitive to both John B and Pope after rejecting them, which I believe is because she doesn't realize they had actual feelings for her so much as thinking she's hot.

[bestworstcase]

pacing and muttering again

“cinder, i am going to ask you this one more time, and i expect a clear answer. did you… kill ozpin?”

an unknown amount of time prior to this conversation, salem named ozpin’s death as the most important of cinder’s successes at beacon.

cinder did in fact kill ozpin, by melting his face into the floor, and has no reason to doubt herself on this point.

cinder is quick to claim her victories, even to the point of eliding help she received from others, but reports her failures in whatever manner she thinks will be most advantageous to herself.

salem can tell when people lie to her.

salem has been trying—seemingly for several months—to get a “clear answer” out of cinder regarding whether she did or did not kill ozpin.

which is a yes or no question.

if the answer was “yes” or “no” and salem didn’t believe that, she would be saying “i expect a truthful answer.”

salem does apparently take it as fact that ozpin is dead, or else she wouldn’t have emphasized his death in her praise of cinder’s accomplishments.

the point of contention is whether cinder killed him.

the answer is yes.

salem has repeatedly asked the question “did you kill ozpin?” and cinder has, up until this point, refused to give a straight answer—perhaps saying “he’s dead” or “i beat him”—which is peculiar because 1. salem seems to believe that ozpin is dead, 2. ozpin really is dead and cinder killed him, and 3. salem praises cinder for killing ozpin in front of the inner circle.

why has this question become an ongoing point of contention between them which cinder, evidently, is not willing to answer plainly? why, when salem asks “did you kill ozpin,” is cinder afraid to answer “yes”—despite the glowing praise salem gives her for killing ozpin, which cinder did in fact do?

she wasn’t supposed to.

like—it’s either that or cinder left ozpin alive enough behind herself to think he might have survived, which… do we believe that little miss the floor is lava now left without reducing him to a smear of charcoal first? and then shot pyrrha in the heart and incinerated her for good measure? cinder “no kill like overkill” fall? is it plausible to think that she did not know with absolute certainty that ozpin was dead?—whereas,

”that stunt you pulled; she’d have killed you if you wouldn’t just pop up somewhere else.”

hazel’s perception of who salem is may or may not be accurate, and he’s probably making an assumption here based on the intensity of salem’s reaction to learning that ozpin was back, but regardless: the possibility that salem might have wanted ozpin alive so that she’d know where he is has been textually stated. “did you… kill ozpin?”—and cinder is afraid to answer “yes.”

if those seers are something new salem devised after beacon tower fell, for the sake of being able to contact her agents over long distances without the CCTS—and emerald and mercury do react like they’ve never seen one before, and watts does treat the seer like a novelty in v5—then it is entirely possible that the seer in 4.3 is the first time salem has received a report from summer since the fall.

she leans over, listens to what summer tells her, and then tells cinder point blank, this time you are going to give me a clear yes or no. no, not through her—i want to hear you say it.

cinder, cornered:

either ozpin wasn’t supposed to die that night or salem didn’t want cinder, specifically, to kill him. salem knows he’s dead and that cinder killed him—cinder wouldn’t be this cagey otherwise—but she wants cinder to tell her.

this is probably the first time cinder’s disobeyed salem—or at least failed to follow orders to the letter, if cinder didn’t deliberately set out to kill him but realized their fight wasn’t going to end until one of them was dead—and after months of letting her dodge, salem just backed her into a corner. she’s terrified.

and then nothing bad happens. salem more or less just goes…ok. and moves on.

rolls over.

“i’m not especially fond of failure” / “then i see no reason for your cruelty toward young cinder; she’s become our fall maiden, destroyed beacon tower, and most importantly, killed dear ozpin… so i’m curious: to what failures are you referring?”

<- acquires a completely different subtext if killing ozpin was an act of disobedience that cinder has so far been unwilling to admit.

salem would have preferred ozpin alive as a known quantity over the uncertainty of not knowing when or where he might return, or she had specific concerns about cinder fighting him which are now largely moot; in either case he’s dead and she’s decided to take that as a victory. she isn’t upset or angry. but she does want cinder to tell her the truth.

she’s not stupid. she is undoubtedly aware that cinder is afraid of what salem will do to her if/when she confesses.

“then i see no reason for your cruelty toward young cinder; she’s become our fall maiden, destroyed beacon tower, and killed ozpin”—salem holds eye contact with cinder the whole time she’s saying this. it’s a message for cinder as much as it is watts: i know you killed him, it is of no consequence, i will not be cruel to you. days, weeks, however much longer it is, she corners cinder and then just moves on without so much as a word of rebuke.

compare:

what she does when hazel lies to her. 4.3 and 6.4 are identical circumstances in that salem already knows the answer and what matters to her is that her subordinate tells the truth, with 4.3 demonstrating how she answers honesty (no consequences at all) and 6.4 the spectacle she makes of punishing a lie.

(<- same posture, same intent.)

it speaks to how much lenience salem gives cinder that she does not extend to anyone else, because she gives hazel just two chances (“i would like you to explain to me how it is you failed so spectacularly,” and then when hazel skirts around it, “stop. let me rephrase the question: who is responsible for your defeat?”) whereas she lets cinder evade the “did you kill ozpin?” question for, apparently, months whilst making a point of signaling to cinder that she already knows and will not be angry before she finally puts her foot down and insists on a straight answer.

salem knows cinder lied to her about what happened while she was reconstituting. the exact moment she clocks it is when cinder says “i couldn’t even stop the maiden from escaping without putting the relics in jeopardy”—

—she knows. but she knew in v4 that cinder’s caginess came from a place of fear, and made an effort to allay that fear before forcing the issue. (also: “it can sense your trepidation; don’t fight it, girl. you must make it dread you” is a very thinly-veiled “don’t be afraid”). by the end of v8 salem is aware of both cinder’s fear and the intensity of cinder’s resentment; what rapport existed between them before haven is gone and the relationship is badly fractured.

so she is being Delicate.

which isn’t the same as letting cinder get away with the deception; she’s still going to want cinder to tell her the truth.

but she’s going to handle it the way she handled “did you kill ozpin?” and i anticipate that will be the fulcrum of whatever happens between her and cinder during the beacon arc (villains edition), because salem’s practical interest in the relics is secondary to her emotional investment in honesty. and of course there’s the symbol of cinder being the one who knows jinn’s name—if salem wants the truth she needs to first earn real trust, not just the veneer she gained in v4-5 and then shattered in v8.

[boredmezzosoprano]

Okayyy… So I’ve recently become ultra obsessed with Naoki Urasawa's Monster (it’s sooo good). The trope pages for it however are really giving me a migraine🤦🏼‍♀️ simply because they labelled Johan Liebert as a Complete Monster!! If you look on the wiki list for CM in Anime/Manga - HE'S THE PAGE IMAGE🤯 Ahem, he’s a monster for sure but most certainly a Tragic Monster or what is called a Woobie Destroyer of Worlds - there’s a difference! A Woobie Destroyer of Worlds has a reason for why they are what they are, oftentimes something traumatic in their childhood - Johan had several severely messed up things happen to him from the time he was born‼️ Also a CM is incapable of loving another human being: JOHAN WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ANNA!! Listen, I’m not trying to justify his actions but I don’t think it’s accurate to describe the character as being born pure evil when there’s plenty of textual information that refute that claim! Plus how can they call Johan a Complete Monster but not these characters:

Petr Čapek

He is complicit in Franz Bonaparta's atrocities, likely taking part in the experiments at the Red Rose Mansion. He also helped Bonaparta kidnap Anna from her home and threatened her.

He killed a family, including two children, on Bonaparta's orders.

After re-establishing himself in Germany, he psychologically tortured a new group of innocent children, driving them to violence and suicide, causing the suicide of Milan's son, and showed no remorse for it even though they were childhood friends.

He had contempt for Turkish people, trying to expel them from their homes.

He murdered the five leaders of the resistance against him.

He masterminded a plan to burn down the Turkish quarter, which could have caused massive loss of life.

He attempts to convince Johan to be the Neo-Nazis' leader in a grand plot to begin World War 3 and wipe out all non-Aryan races in the world.

He repeatedly tried to have Johan's sister kidnapped so he could use her as a hostage.

He showed no apparent remorse when his childhood friend Milan was gunned down in an attempt to assassinate him.

He ordered Eva Heinemann killed when she had served her purpose, and then had Martin killed for failing to do this.

He showed no concern for the murders committed by Johan, claiming that they were his will.

He murdered his driver in a fit of paranoia.

He gave up Bonaparta's whereabouts in order to save his own life.

Compared to Franz Bonaparta, who made a serious attempt to atone for his own crimes, Capek shows very little remorse.

The Baby

He is established to be a Neo-Nazi and a racist politician, even owning a neighborhood filled with people like him.

The Baby plans to use Nina in order to get her brother's attention.

Despite appearing affable towards Nina, it is nothing but a facade in his manipulation towards her.

He arrogantly believes that Johan supports and agrees with his racist views without understanding that he is a nihilist who doesn't care about those beliefs as he looks down on all humans equally.

He runs over Tenma with his car and is disappointed that he did not die from the impact and then later kidnaps him.

Like the organization, he wants to convert Johan to his racist ideology and make him the new leader of Germany under the organization's control.

He tries to purge the Turkish community by burning down a neighborhood filled with them. This is really bad as this would qualify as an attempted genocide since he strongly hates the Turks.

While at that, he enjoys the destruction of other minorities that he causes.

The Baby tortures Tenma just because he's Asian.

Even when Tenma told him that Johan hates all humans equally, he continued to beat him anyway.

He attempts to kill Dieter, who is a kid that Tenma saved from Hartman and expresses gleefulness during the action.

He threatened to kill Martin if he failed his job.

Throughout the story, he shows no remorse for his actions.

UPDATE: Johan was recently removed from the Pure Evil wiki 😃

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

I’m extremely curious who heaven is planning to use for the Second Coming in Good Omens, because GO!Jesus seems very kind and human and Second Coming Jesus is… not that.

Like it isn’t an “oh normally I’m healing and preaching but sometimes I chase after rich people with whips” situation. It’s 24/7 Angy Judgment, sword-coming-out-of-his-mouth, riding a white horse through blood flowing up to its bridle, throwing people in the lake of fire type energy.

Revelation Jesus kind of sucks tbh, the antichrist is a lot more chill. Adam Young’s vibe is honestly pretty biblically accurate. The main danger of the biblical antichrist (for people who believe he’s part of the end times and not political commentary on a Roman emperor) is that people like him too much. Aka more than God. And since God is a petty jealous weirdo, that’s a huge problem.

Most of the bad shit that’s supposed to happen in the end times (giant stinging insects, sores, burning sunlight, darkness, rivers of blood, etc.) is explicitly, textually coming from heaven. It’s angels blowing trumpets and pouring out bowls of wrath. One of the first events to kick off the end times is 2 prophets from God who prove they’re from God by… causing a bunch of droughts. Gee I wonder why people keep choosing earth over heaven, heaven is so persuasive!!! So anyway the antichrist kills them.

Now, he does get kind of Spicy toward Christianity in general, but in a world where heaven actually exists and keeps pelting everyone with droughts and plagues, I can understand the impulse. It’s still wrong, but I get it.

One aspect of that religious persecution is making people take his mark in order to buy or sell (sidenote: this is why some evangelicals are WILDLY afraid of getting Secretly Microchipped… and a very small minority will even avoid credit cards). The main reason that’s bad is because this apparently counts as worshipping him. So anyone who does it is auto-damned. Once they have the mark, their fate is sealed, and they can never be saved from eternal torture in hell.

But… like, the damnation part happens because God is pissed at how much people prefer the antichrist. Almost everyone chooses “the prince of this world” over heaven, and heaven is choosing to flip over the board and throw an absolute tantrum rather than lose. It’s made very clear that it’s Jesus chucking people into hell, and he’s doing it because they chose temporary comfort on earth over eternal rewards. But he could just. You know. Not do that.

So Jesus is arguably the main antagonist of the end times. Unfortunately for GO!heaven, they seem to be stuck with a pretty mild-mannered version of him. Now, of course they were never planning to do this exact version — the Bible isn’t Agnes Nutter (and even if it was, this is a very specific reading of it that happens to be popular among modern evangelicals). But if their goal is to end the world, it would still be helpful to have a Worse Jesus.

…they could probably manage the bowl/trumpet stuff though, because that just requires random angels. Sandalphon would for sure be up for it.

[aemiron-main]

and again just bc I feel like a stuck record having to re-iterate this bc some ppl keep missing what I’m saying: believing Mike is bi is not inherently homophobic. But some of the reasons people present as to WHY they believe he is bi ARE casual homophobia and demonstrate a narrow, biased view of gay men.

and spreading casual homophobia doesn’t mean you’re inherently homophobic or morally bad either. it just means u need to rethink ur biases and how those biases inform your analysis and why and how you’re using the arguments that you’re using and what those arguments are and WHY they’re those arguments/how you came to those conclusions.

and again: none of this abt headcanons. I’m talking about analysis bc like I’ve said I don’t have a gay Mike headcanon, I don’t “want him to be gay”/didn’t go into my analysis wanting him to be gay: I went into it trying to figure out WHAT he is and came to the conclusion that he’s gay. i have kept an open mind to analysis of other sexuality options outside of him being gay & i have read differing analysis & I still feel that those analyses don’t stand up/aren’t accurate to the text of the show. and to be frank I feel like a lot of ppl accusing me of not reading differing analysis are simply doing so because it’s less of a hit to the ego than admitting/acknowledging that I’ve read the analysis and felt that it was inaccurate and textually unsupported.

ok do we all get it now? can we stop acting like I’m claiming all bi Mike analysis is inherently homophobic by virtue of its existence? do I have to say this for a 500th time again? no? great.

and can we also stop acting like I’m talking about headcanons? because I’m not & my only issue with headcanons is when people present a headcanon as being in-text analysis/present the idea that headcanons should be accepted as being inherently factually equivalent to text-based analysis and are equally textually valid.

[cantarella]

Hopping on this (well-informed) hate train to ask your thoughts on foc*llette? I noticed a lot of nvfrs make the switch as if that makes it any better. I thought it was pretty clear in Furina’s sq that Focalors was pretty much everyone’s big sister, to put it simply…

"well-informed hate train" took me out ngl but it's definitely an accurate way to describe whatever's happening here

since I've mentioned I believe furina and focalors to be different characters with different experiences and different minds technically what I think of the idea of furina and neuvi romantically doesn't apply with focalors, but I do think 1. it's deeply heterosexual and boring as hell 2. the fans are annoying and conflate it with nvfri so like even if I didn't mind it at first the fans made me dislike it and 3. it's also kinda weird for a bunch of reasons which I might as well elaborate on

so dragons in teyvat have been textually colonized by celestia, like it's a 1:1 comparison it's not particularly difficult to get that, so I'm not exactly comfortable imagining neuvi romantically invested with an archon no matter who they are. in fact I think even something like neuvi being as sad as he was during her execution scene and afterwards was kinda forced, considerng he's never hidden his resentment for celestia nor gods

you could argue he's inherently kind and felt sad she had to go to such lengths, which, well, yeah obviously. but other than what I've already mentioned there's the fact he straight up didn't know her until 5min prior so it was all a bit much

it also really undermines the fact the execution was an act of righteousness, oppressed groups don't owe gratitude to their oppressors for giving up on their privilege in the name of doing good. so the framing being entirely on how sad and tragic this sacrifice is and make the colonized character be the one to express said sorrow was... ehh a bad look. yes he's kind, and part of the emotional reaction must have been bc he learned of what furina went through and bc he finally found the answer to what he's supposed to do in his life, but it was still sketchy framing when you consider the bigger picture and the themes it touches on. ok tangent over bc this is barely relevant

you're also onto something in the way focalors is a sort of bigger sister bc she is a mentor figure, though only symbolically. in a way her leaving furina 500 years ago, revealing to neuvi her reason for inviting him to the court, handing over her powers and leaving both furina and neuvi for good ties back to the moment in a coming of age narrative in which figures that give guidance and mentorship leave and you're left by yourself to learn to stand on your own. obviously in this case it's only symbolic bc neuvi literally looks like a man in his 50s and they didn't know each other at all, but it terms of story beats it ties back into the main theme of the region. that's how I interpret it, and as always (bc I'm a romance hater) I think the canon dynamic is more interesting if kept as it is and not potrayed as romantic for the sake of it

also it's just weird bc she looks identical to furina like idk my man. I've talked ad nauseam about why I think neuvi fills the role of a guardian figure both in the text and symbolically, I'm not gonna feel comfortable imagining him romancing someone who looks like his pseudo-daughter what kind of freudian nightmare would that be😭

[vierranliveshere]

It's the middle of the night, I can't sleep, it's time for thinking about tlt some more. Tonight's thought is: what if John wasn't the only one Alecto/Eden changed?

My brain at first was like, "This is a 'wouldn't it be cool if...' kind of theory. I didn't think there was textual evidence or a narrative logic, but as I lay here trying to get back to sleep, I have changed my mind. I still need to do a full series reread through this lens, but here is what I have so far:

A secondary reason for the forever war. I absolutely believe John is vindictive enough to still be punishing people 10000 years later, but also he has gone so far out of his way to destroy all memory and evidence of what he's done. This could be why, and why there even is memory in the remnant population in the first place...

Blood of Eden is a tremendously long-lived institution. They have a huge focus on memory of John Gaius's crimes, and they have maintained it fairly accurately for longer than Christianity has existed. That's pretty remarkable, and seems to be related to

Aim/The Messenger/The Angel. The living institutional memory. I came out of Nona incredibly curious about what the message is. I'm betting a lot of people did. Aim also has an implant that Palamedes thinks was necromantically placed. Palamedes knows a fuckton about non-necromantic medicine for a Houser. He could be wrong, but what if he isn't?

In John's recollections, Alecto says "I picked you to change." She doesn't say "you're the one I picked" or anything else to imply he was the only one.

John's narrative also mentions that they reached out to the world at large to ask if he was the only one. This gets mentioned briefly and then dropped. He never actually says whether anyone responded.

John first discovered his powers while he was around a bunch of corpses. His powers also are hugely applicable to the living. If most people developed biology superpowers, they'd find out about what they can do to living people before dead ones.

The only real thing that ties his powers to death more than life is the power boost from being near violent death. He compares it to drugs a bunch, implying it's addictive and corrupting. That seems like a conclusion other people would also come to in his circumstances. So basically he chose the Dark Side for power, which sure would fit into Blood of Eden's opinion of him nicely.

[acadestudio13]

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[arbitrarity]

new headcanon about Lucy's happy August 30th letter:

the description Lucy gives and the date definitely don't line up, both in terms of being in Whitby and feeling great; it's even more clear with Arthur's letter to Seward the next day pleading for help with Lucy's health. I thought it might be either the letter having the wrong date or Lucy just putting on a face for Mina. but what if it's a bit of both? what if Lucy wrote the letter when she was back in Whitby but didn't actually SEND it until August 30, after she got Mina's letter about her marriage?

I can see Lucy in Whitby, actually getting that reprieve from being drinked by Drac after he leaves for London. Arthur comes to visit and they have a lovely time, and she starts to feel better! full of blood life! she writes a letter to her lovely Mina gushing with hope. but then she hesitates...

Mina has left to go meet Jonathan. in a foreign hospital. with no idea what's happened to him and barely an idea of his current state. she's given Lucy the address but neither know what she's going to find when she arrives there. can Lucy really send Mina this letter of happiness when she doesn't know the state it will find her in when it arrives? what if The Worst has happened to Jonathan... Mina might be glad to hear Lucy is feeling better, to know that she doesn't have to worry too much, but how would she feel reading a letter of Lucy's dates with Arthur if her own love is a broken man or dead...

so Lucy doesn't sent it. she waits. she waits until she hears from Mina, til she gets the letter she sent full of happiness and hope and love! Mina is a happy, married woman! what a relief, Lucy can absolutely write back to her now. but now she's back in London and she's drained ill again, and she's afraid and alone. how can she possibly reply and tell Mina that she's glad for her, but that she herself is wasting away. Arthur has noticed and is so worried; she doesn't want to worry Mina too, when she's finally gotten some happiness in her life...

so she doesn't write a new letter. instead, she picks up the letter she wrote back in Whitby... thinks that's what she wants Mina to hear, and sends it dated for today, August 30. the letter is true, afterall, just not the whole truth. and who knows, maybe her health will be restored again by the time Mina returns home anyway. it's a compromise but also maybe a hope, maybe a small reassurance to Lucy that things could be okay again soon...

[biceratops7]

Fuck I love episode 6 so much…

CW: detailed discussions of a PTSD attack and trauma, mentions of domestic violence

You know why?? Because my special interests is psychology BECAUSE IDK WHY TF IT’S SO HARD TO JUST LET MEN HAVE NORMAL ASS MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS.

Literally, every friggin’ character who’s (textually) traumatized and male has to be either a war veteran or a serial killer for some reason. Like where the hell are all the dudes who shut down, cry, have panic attacks, use comfort items, regress a bit in language capabilities till they’re more grounded, you know, things that trauma actually causes??

I think I blue screened of death like 5 times watching this episode cause I couldn’t believe the show was just… letting this happen. Like thank fuck, (and please correct me if I’m wrong because I do not have this condition) an actually accurate depiction of ptsd for once! And now kindly follow me into the land of bullet points to illustrate this more clearly.

Ed’s anxiety/ level of functioning is not homogenized. He’s shown throughout the episode to have varying degrees of tolerance to triggers depending on the context and his emotional state. Telling the story to people he trusts in a safe context shakes him up a bit, but he’s ultimately able to laugh it off. Being reminded of the trauma when the environment is super chaotic and he’s about to literally repeat the event with someone he deeply cares for causes a full blown flashback.

It follows the proper… anatomy I guess(?) of a ptsd attack. Ed’s subplot in this episode is spent mainly breaking down his defenses, so when eventually there’s a sensory reminder (trigger) of his trauma he’s not prepared for, there’s a big reaction. He experiences a flashback (unsolicited vivid remembering, can be so intense your subconscious thinks you’re actually there), and he has a completely realistic response to it. No one’s concerned with emasculating him or whatever the fuck, men get overwhelmed and burst into tears sometimes damnit! And afterwards he’s not just fine, he actually needs to be grounded, attempting to take care of himself before Stede comes and helps him calm down completely. This isn’t seen as weak in the slightest, it’s just extremely unrealistic to expect someone to do such a thing quickly or without help.

There’s nuance and complexity. It’s unclear whether or not Ed’s breakdown was ultimately caused by the mention of the kraken, or the banging sounds of the puppet. It’s not supposed to be clear, not even to Ed. It’s obvious that witnessing the abuse of his mother and killing his father are not easily separated events in his memory. Trauma isn’t clean and pretty like that, and it doesn’t draw a perfectly traceable line from past to present in a one to one ratio.

He’s shown to continuously have triggers, it’s not just treated as a plot device cause we need Ed to break down and admit to attempted murder. And again they aren’t cleanly connected to the major traumatic event of killing his father, but rather smaller things that used to be unsafe day to day. The banging on the door explicitly reminds him of growing up with domestic abuse and watching Izzy fight Stede does so implicitly, being unable to even watch a loved one be put in psychical danger much less intervene.

And the absolute best part, what should be so friggin’ easy to do yet so many shows apparently prove that wrong, is that the framing doesn’t ridicule or belittle Ed for his emotions once. Not one single time. In a comedy no less. Oh sure the scene where he’s crying in a bathtub is fucking hilarious, but absolutely none of the humor comes from the fact that he’s crying in a bathtub. Because the writers know this kind of subject matter should be treated with gravity and are actually talented enough to do so without a weird out of nowhere tone shift. The closest I can think of to Ed’s trauma responses being seen as “funny” is when he falls out of the curtain sobbing and the Dutchmen freak out very cartoonishly and run away. But even then it’s clearly the Dutchmen who are the butt of the joke.

I get the same vibes as when they decided not to depict the abuse of Ed’s mother on screen. They not only portrayed this subject matter correctly but did so thoughtfully. They clearly wrote this episode while considering the needs of those who’d actually be able to relate to it.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Going through the mdzs related tags in this site is a nightmare because stumbling into a post severely misunderstanding the novel (this time with a take that all interpretations, even the horrible and out of there ones, are accurate) makes me want to go in the corner and sit there contemplating that. these are human beings with horrible reading comprehension and common sense. Are we fucked.

Then I remember there are people like you exist with brain cells and common sense and I can breathe easily.

Hi there anon, look, I am a huge proponent of in -depth analysis for stories, I was in the damn Sonic fandom as a kid and it was pure shit of a story but I think interpretations are valid within reason.

Whatever this fandom tries to pull out has nothing to do with the source material, and that is what annoys me. Maybe it's because of my strict background of what I went in through higher learning for. But what I learned is if you are arguing for a certain interpretation to be seen as a valid reading of the text, prove it, use the source, do not use personal experience to say this is why it is valid.

The clear separation of fandom interpretation with textual interpretation is very blurred. Being told you can have that, but it is not textually sound, is not some massive personal attack. You can argue that you don't like what I say, but make me want to put merit in something you call meta, which I very rarely see when it comes from all sides of this fandom.

If you want me to believe in great best uwu juijiu, actually self-hating Wei Wuxian, closested Lan Wangji, show me where in the work it even supports that, because everything I have seen that tries to use those use very pretty flowery meaning with no substance and that's an emotional fallacy.

[knowlesian]

I need you to know that as soon as I got to the point where you mentioned the closet shelves are purple, I literally screamed "NO THE FUCK THEY DID NOT" at my computer and ran to go check. I can't handle this show and its details. I've been yelling to everyone who'll listen and plenty who haven't about black cravats, lighthouses, gloves with and without fingers, and the color purple for days now. There's so much. I feel like my head is going to explode.

THE WAY THE PURPLE SLOWLY SPREADS AND SIGNALS ED'S SHIFT INTO ALLOWING HIMSELF TO BE VULNERABLE AND HAPPY whenever i think i've gotten my shit on lock, there are no more things i'm going to see and go "...how did i not SEE THAT BEFORE" i watch like ten minutes of any given episode and come up with a whole list of shit i really should have already considered.

honestly, one of the things that's most rewarding about this show is it wants us to do this. i'm so used to wanting to do a deep dive, all up in the guts textual analysis style read on any given piece of media i like and going "...ahahaha, nope. they don't actually put that much care in, well shit i guess there goes that hope for an elegant framework i can actually think much about" and sort of gently sighing and dealing with what i have.

(i used to watch the 100. i quit early, because sons of anarchy broke the version of me that doesn't dip out of canons when they stop making me happy but the point is: nothing on their show makes sense. and they wanted it to! ohhhh, how they wanted it to. their in-world military is more like a bunch of buddies, hanging out. i made up a command structure and backstory and living situation just so i could make my stupid fanfic make sense in my own brain. i so deeply understand why people couldn't quite believe this beautiful silly pirate show was Gonna Do The Thing for those reasons, too, because for a million reasons we are all used to having to do that to one degree or another.)

ANYWAY, YES. i fucking love textual analysis, i'm always so so sad when media i am at all emotionally invested in would really rather i not think too hard about any of it because they didn't either, and this show is a FEAST.

(i did say asks would be probably slow but definitely tldr! my about me page, accurate; my brand, strong.)

[asuka--langley--soryu]

If you haven't already, could you expand more on the "Asuka's a lesbian" theory? I've seen people say it and I think it seems reasonable, but I haven't found anyone actually explain their thought process.

calling it a theory makes it seem a little more serious than it is, i think. more or less its just that a lot of asuka’s characterization resonates with the experiences of gay women (which i am using broadly, tho i do specifically think asuka is a lesbian), especially in regards to alienation from womanhood/women and compulsive heterosexuality. 

 basically, she exhibits literally no genuine affection for men but feels like she has to imitate heterosexuality (ie kissing shinji), she chooses kaji as a man to fixate on bc he is inherently unavailable, rejects all of the boys at her school and leaves her date early bc she can’t simulate interest in them, and mentions a few times how the idea of being in a relationship or having sex with a man disgusts and disturbs her. the only person she is even remotely close to is hikari and, emotionally, really the only person who seems to have an understanding of her and vice versa is rei (who she has a kind of classic baby gay obsession-rivalry thing with, which i will talk about in my eventual asuka/rei post lol). these are all things that mirror the actual experiences of young wlw p closely, which is why hc-ing asuka as a lesbian is popular. 

probably this kind of thing is more difficult for non-wlw to understand bc there isnt the sort of obvious gesturing to same sex attraction like w maya or kaworu or w/e. even though, for me, asuka is a much more accurate depiction of my experiences as a lesbian than maya. but if youre not a gay woman youre probably not well versed in their experiences and commonalities beyond like.....being attracted to girls--for a lot of reasons, obvi, one of which being that gay women arent often depicted in realistic ways so like.... how would you know what actions/emotions are signals or flags. 

then again, of course, how many ‘true lives of real and nonsexy lesbians’ stories is any given cishet person (and, to a point, non-wlw people in general) really intaking--esp w the goal of gaining this understanding so that you can approach media with an actual metric for judging whether or not a character may be gay without them having to be like ‘i literally love women/men’ (and even then like... look at fucking kaworu). im not kind enough to really give people the benefit of the doubt, i guess, but either way the difficulty in this kind of thing is that it’s all based in reading actions and expressions that feel inherent to the gay experience as therefore representative of gayness. and also being willing to accept the presence of gayness as something not necessitating textual confirmation--which is, for way too many fucking people, where the problem lies. 

its a bit of a dead horse but really the idea of like having to prove a sexuality for a character who has no stated sexuality is rooted in the presumption of heterosexuality as not only a neutral category but an inherent one. like, if we are to remove something from the default set there needs to be a given reason and evidence, a detailed claim of divergence, and what counts as acceptable is ever shifting and impossible. there isnt a like....homosexual scientific method or kinsey scale conditional proof system and, even if there was, people probably still wouldn’t believe it. 

basically what im trying to say is that if a lot of lesbians say ‘i think this character is a lesbian’ it might be best to just believe them. 

[qqueenofhades]

Thank you for your answer to my last ask! Just sort of carrying on from that, what do you think about how they should cover medieval queerness in a potential prequel? I read your post about the deep relationships between knights which was really interesting. I guess what I'm asking is what would "Period-typical Homophobia" for Nicky and Joe actually be? Thank you for educating us better than school does.

Okay, I’m gonna come in here with a Scorching Hot Take that may ruffle some feathers, but possibly... none?

If the point of including casual homophobia or homophobic references is literally just for the sake of evoking some supposed Medieval Bigotry for ~Le Atmosphere Of Dark Age, there is a) no point to it, and b) not much historical evidence either. People love to point out that we didn’t have the modern identity labels of “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual,” etc. in the olden days -- well, in that case, we don’t have modern homophobia either, or reactions to those behaviors in the same way. We don’t even have much textual evidence for how ordinary people (outside clerical/religious elites, who would be predisposed to disapprove, just like the religious right today) reacted to so-called “queerness” in their communities, and the circumstantial evidence we DO have suggested that it was far from any imagined universal experience of rejection and isolation. Besides, what we call “queer” due to fragile modern heteronormativty and toxic masculinity was actually intensely normal for medieval people.

One of the tiresome arguments that Straight Historians tend to use, when queer historians are arguing for a queer, romantic, or sexual relationship between two people of the same gender (usually men, because that’s who mostly appears in our sources), is that “friendship was a lot more romantic/intimate/emotional/physical in nature back then!!! They’re not gay They’re Just Pals!!” This is actually true, in that medieval men, far from this Iron Man No Homo No Emotions trope that (once again) we ourselves have come up with, were encouraged (as I wrote about in my gay knights post) to love each other almost, if not quite, beyond reason. There was so much crying, kissing, embracing, tender declarations of loyalty, etc (see: Is It Gay or Is It Feudalism?) Any of those behaviors would make the modern viewer go “lololol HOMOSEXUAL!!!”, but it’s not even always the case? The standards of physical affection, vows of devotion, and close emotional bonds even between platonic friends were just different, and while yes, there was a corresponding anxiety about this attachment turning sexual, the fact that it was considered as a worry in the first place shows you how intense these bonds could be. So while the modern viewer may see two men acting like that and go “oh no gay cooties,” this just wouldn’t raise any eyebrows at all to a medieval person, and hence they’re not going to come back with some dumb manufactured homophobic comment.

Next, in re Joe and Nicky specifically: I SORELY long for a scene in this imaginary prequel where after something romantic has happened between them for the first time, Nicky understandably freaks out a little and goes to confession. There is one other guy in front of him, and a bored priest who is not very good at his job. Guy In Front of Nicky (we’ll call him Guy) goes into the booth and kneels. Priest looks at him, doesn’t even ask. “Oh, is it sodomy again? Fine, seven days fasting bread and water, say two decades of the rosary, Ego te absolvo in nomine Patris -- ”

Waiting outside the booth, Nicky can hear this (since remember this priest is Bad at his Job and has apparently never met the concept of confessional confidentiality in his life) and sags in relief a little. Oh sodomy isn’t that bad, right, it’s a venial sin, no big --

“Father,” says Guy, “I confess that I have also consorted with a Saracen in search of a magical remedy.”

(We don’t gender the Saracen, because we don’t believe in supporting  stereotypes, and since it’s established Guy is into Kinky Stuff, you never know.)

Priest LOSES HIS SHIT.

“You WHAAAAAAAT? CONSORTING WITH A SARACEN FOR MAGIC!! THIS IS A TERRIBLE SIN!!! YOU NEED TO REPENT IMMEDIATELY!!!”

Cut back to Nicky. OH SHIT!!! Sodomy not bad, he could deal with that. Consorting with a Saracen?? OH SON YOU’RE DOOMED. SODOMY WITH A SARACEN??? OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO HELL!

Cue Nicky’s silent existential crisis Dying in the background while the priest lectures Guy to within an inch of his life. Finally, Guy decides fuck this priest (not like that, this is not Fleabag) and scuttles out. A thoroughly terrified Nicky thinks about following him, but since the priest has already seen him, he can’t flee. He goes into the booth and kneels down, Quaking.

“What have you come to confess, my son?”

Nicky.exe has stopped working.

“.....jealousy.”

You get the idea. And guess what? This would be COMPLETELY accurate, because if we were using, say, Burchard of Worms’ Decretum, an early 11th-century handbook advising priests what penalties to give to various sins, that’s basically how it’s treated. Sodomy is blown over briefly with the other venial sins as a certain amount of days fasting on bread and water, while Burchard is really, really worried about witchcraft, magic, non-Christian beliefs, and other such things. So again, really, what is “Period-Typical Homophobia?” We’ve already established that behavior between two men that would raise modern eyebrows would be absolutely nothing remarkable to a medieval person, while priests obviously don’t approve of sodomy, but they’re not that fussed by it either. (Unless you’re Peter the Chanter, who’s just a dick, but he is yet again one guy writing about one specific context, 12th-century Paris, and the fact that he’s complaining so much means that it’s obviously happening in reality.) Besides, the whole idea was that sodomy was the “unspeakable sin,” aka something people just didn’t mention or talk about, which is why it can be hard to track down reliable or unambiguous treatments of it. Obviously, queer erasure isn’t a surprise, but it doesn’t mean that these people didn’t exist; it just means that chroniclers, especially monastic chroniclers, didn’t write about it. So even if this is outright happening, i.e. Joe and Nicky’s romance and/or the number of other queer characters we will be sure to include for verisimilitude, there’s still no guarantee that anyone would even actually SAY something.

And besides: not every minute of history was filled with homophobia, just as not every minute was filled with filth, torture, misogyny, etc. There is actually no necessary reason to include it, especially in boring modern homophobia form, unless you’re trying to beat us over the head with Things Being Bad Back Then. Especially if we’re making a movie that honors and empowers queer people, who deserve a chance to escape into a lavish historically detailed gay romance with Joe and Nicky and not have to deal with bog-standard microaggression as a result. Because what I’ve laid out above is just as much (in fact more so) historically accurate, and MUCH more funny, interesting, authentic, and original.

(And thanks so much!! Another GREAT question.)

[ranboo5]

Do you think that character Techno in any way likes Dream? Like, would he consider Dream a friend on any level?

Honestly I will have to say I don't see why he on some level wouldn't. Like he is kind of surface level dismissive and abrasive sure but also this is kind of just how he acts ESPECIALLY when he's trying to lighten the mood in stressful situations (which is a state of being they exist in in perpetuity in the prison). Like he is in universe comic relief and acting the part here a LOT of the time with Dream

N I think it's a combination of the facts that a) Dream has been generally at least upfront with him abt the things he's requested Techno's help with in significant ways, which Matters to Techno; b) that Dream's helped him notably at least once and arguably twice; c) they spent a good few months together just straight up this; and d) Techno generally hands out affection, honestly, pretty easily all things considered

I don't think that they are Huge Besties in canon, and I don't think they were necessarily friends before the prison, but I think at this point in canon it would be accurate to say they r in the vicinity of friendship at least, or at least amicable

What I do think is also a relevant pt though is that while they're definitely amicable Techno does not think #DreamWasRight and has textually thought he's Been weird in the past and that his current mindsets are at least unhealthy, and doesn't shy away that much from saying so. It's notable here that Techno very much believes that who someone is right now is more relevant than who they were in the past; combine this with his tendency to assume that he and whoever he's working with are generally on the same page or that he can get them on the same page by ambient vibes (Ranboo behavior btw) and he almost certainly thinks Dream's calmed down or is at least in a state where the weirder aspects of his values that Techno's seen are able to be chilled out or changed. It is ALSO notable that he's seen very little of these actual values and doesn't know the full scope of what Dream's got going on – he was missing for most of the monologues. However, I honestly don't know how much this would change. Techno doesn't think Dream is based already and is withholding a certain measure of trust for that exact reason; if Dream proved himself worthy of Greater distrust I doubt much would materially change bc of the aforementioned mindsets Techno holds. Like, Techno worked willingly with Quackity and had no beef w/ Tubbo. He is extremely generous with his Chances irt most people

I will say w/ all love and respect to my Rivals main mutuals I think Rivals buffs tend to be on a bit of copium regarding them, but I don't think they're wrong to assume there's smth there, and a lot of the logic I've seen to "prove" Techno doesn't care, and I say this part with all love and respect to my Inniter mutuals, seems like Inniter copium as well. Like that kind of flippancy is in a lot of ways just How He Interacts, including w/ people he cares abt

So ya tl;dr is I think Dream can be accurately described in Techno's eyes at this point in canon as Techno's kinda weird friend, with the caveat that Technoblade's affection is not all that difficult to earn but his trust is moreso

How Dream feels abt any of this I have no clue

[katsidhe]

could you do 9.10 and 9.13 for episode reviews.

Love your takes btw.

9.10 Final Thoughts

well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend season 9. God I love season 9. buckle in. 

Plenty of what season 9 tries to do with angel drama falls flat, but plenty of it doesn’t. It’s at its strongest when interrogating the ways that the angels are looking for personal purpose, rather than folding themselves into various suit-clad factions. In this episode, we have Gadreel, Abner, and Thaddeus, all with very different takes.

Thaddeus is the most boring of the three—a straightforward narcissist and sadist. (Lucifer will follow in his rockstar-impersonating footsteps in s12. SPN clearly has a dim view of the music industry.) We don’t care when he dies, and we aren’t meant to.

Abner’s found a family, and he’s let go of revenge. He’s clearly found peace and happiness—but it’s stolen.  I’m ambivalent about this. I guess I could take his word that his vessel was abusive and therefore deserves to have been permanently body-snatched, and I guess I could believe him when he says his new family loves him, even though they clearly don’t know what he is or what he’s done. His regard for humanity as something other than a project is… uncertain. Even if everything is as sunny as he explains to Gadreel, there is fundamental selfishness and short-sightedness here. Get what you want, Abner says, and never let go.

Gadreel asks Abner if his vessel is happy. This reveals both Abner’s scorn for his vessel, and Gadreel’s uncomfortable awareness of and respect for Sam (and his bartender vessel, who Gadreel stares at, and who accepts Gadreel back easily).

Gadreel! OF COURSE Gadreel’s gotta be the scapegoat for Lucifer’s release, HAHAHAH. I love him to pieces, oml. Seriously, the Sam parallels could not BE more blatant. I’ve talked about this before, that it makes the earned antipathy between them all the more alarming, all the more visceral. The big sticking point is that Gadreel’s years of pointless torture came prior to his “redemption” arc, rather than as a consequence of it. Gadreel has all of s5 Sam’s despair and helpless anger and self-loathing, all of his drive to set things right at any price, and all of it is amplified by his trauma.

Sam and Gadreel’s relationship is defined by its liminal spaces. Gadreel threatens to tear Sam apart, but he does not, even when he is tortured. He locks Sam away in a dream rather than force him to watch him kill, or to suffer. But when Sam forces Gadreel out, Gadreel leaps instantly on telling Sam he is weak, reciting back Sam’s fears and Gadreel’s own. This reads like Gadreel is aiming quite a lot of his own self-pity and self-hatred at Sam.

Cas’s murderous rage at Gadreel when his identity is revealed is fun. It shows that Heaven’s PR team did a good job, for one thing. But Cas is furious because it’s specifically Lucifer. And the Apocalypse, and all the attendant suffering, his and Dean’s and Sam’s. It’s a personal wrath.

“Stupid for the right reasons…” oh, Cas, your scarcity of positive human role models is showing. Also, Cas’s particular brand of reassurance here isn’t actually something Dean has a problem with. He expresses regret over having been tricked—he says he’s stupid, he says he got played—but he’s never in doubt that his intentions were good. He’s never in doubt that he did the righteous thing. He’s never in doubt that he’d do it again.

Dean apologizes to Cas for barring him from the bunker. (Sam will not receive an apology.) Cas compares what Dean did to Sam to what Cas did by trusting Naomi. There’s a key difference here. Cas’s moral compass is not the problem; it’s his critical thinking skills.

Crowley, Cas, and Dean are a hilarious trio. (Also, I really hope that Cas’s pimpmobile got to Heaven too, like the Impala.)

Crowley being genuinely sorry that Kevin’s gone and his willingness to risk his life to help Sam are the best two moments of the generally weak Crowley-has-human-blood plot line. They feel earned. [also Crowley’s ‘I told Kevin he should’ve run!’ is both accurate, funny, and sad.]

Let’s talk 4.21 parallels! I mean, first, the glaringly obvious: Sam locked down to be purged of something supernatural; Sam suffering; Dean unable to bear Sam’s tortured screams; a very atmospheric fan. Dean walking away.

and then, of course, there’s “at least he dies human.” Right off the bat, Dean tells Cas he’s going to kill Gadreel. Cas, concerned, says that this will kill Sam too; Dean, sounding tortured, says he knows. Now, obviously, Dean doesn’t kill Sam. He doesn’t even get particularly close. But it’s really interesting that this is the first thing Dean brings up! He declares unprompted that he’s ready to kill Sam rather than leave him possessed. Which is both a recapitulation of the save-him-or-kill-him mantra, and an ironic twist on the decision Dean made in 9.01. Then, Dean knew Sam would rather die than be possessed, but had him possessed anyway. Now, Dean has decided instead that Sam must die because he is possessed. Obviously Dean’s opinion on the possessing entity has changed in the meantime: Sam’s hasn’t, but Sam’s isn’t what matters. 

Dean reaches new levels of PEAK IRONY when he declares that Cas should possess Sam too. Cas has to actually point out that Dean can’t, in fact, volunteer Sam’s permission. Because apparently Dean had forgotten, lmaooo. Crowley, on the other hand, is happy to oblige. Dean directs Cas to burn Sam’s tattoo off.

The language of this entire scene is so sexual. I mean, it’s Crowley, of course it is, double entendre is his first language. But this theme recurs again and again. Here it is just more pointed than usual. It is queasy.

Gadreel has Sam trapped in a Dean-type happy place—a hunt with ghouls and cheerleaders, no organic produce to be found. And I don’t think it’s because Gadreel doesn’t understand what Sam likes. I think it’s because Gadreel’s aim was for Sam to feel comfortable, not blissful. It smacks of Hallucifer, just a bit—using the verisimilitude of Dean’s louder moods rather than trying to appeal directly to Sam’s contentment, because of his always questionable, always a question, sense of reality. If things were too smooth, too cheerful, Sam might just be suspicious. Sam is easier to trick by proxy. 

The HORROR of this episode for Sam: Gadreel washing someone’s blood off of Sam’s hands. Crowley pushing needles into his brain. Sam’s body and life as a bargaining chip as Gadreel threatens to kill him, and then as Dean threatens to kill him right back. The quiet heartbreak as Sam remembers Kevin’s death, as he realizes the magnitude of Dean’s betrayal. But the worst part of it, I think, is somehow still Sam’s face when Crowley comes to get him in the dream where Gadreel stashed him. How his expression just crumples as Crowley tells him he is trapped in a lie, that his mindscape is once again a prison, that he truly cannot trust his reality. The sheer devastation of this on top of Sam’s history, plus the knowledge that Dean did this—and he pulls himself together and puts his foot on Gadreel’s neck and casts him OUT anyway. Sam Fucking Winchester.

and then the Bridge Scene. The lighting, the staging… it’s fucking gorgeous. It’s one of those scenes where I knew as I was watching it for the first time, seven years ago, that it was going to be something. I held my breath and still hold my breath. I can’t take my eyes off the way that Sam is shaking slightly, the entire time. The way he can barely meet Dean’s eyes but he does it anyway. He SAYS HIS PIECE, says it clearly, says it with an even tone despite what he’s gone through, despite the holes in his head that were healed seconds ago.

I love the gentleness between Sam and Cas here. I love knowing that 9.11 follows this. I love that there is no question that Cas will leave with Dean—he is staying with Sam, to heal and support him, even after he spent this episode mostly reassuring Dean.

Dean does not start this conversation to apologize. He starts out with the intent to DELIBERATELY egg Sam on: “come on, let’s hear it.” It’s an incitement, because Dean wants Sam to act angry, so that Dean can feel more justified in leaving. Sam does not rise to the bait.

Dean has an excuse for every point Sam has: I had no choice, you were dying, it’s not in me, he saved your life. He says, “I did a bad thing with bad consequences and I would 100% do it again, anyway, bye.”

And then the most infuriating thing: Dean is in the wrong, so he tells the person he’s wronged, ugh, I’m just such an awful poisonous person, I’m going to burn for this. It’s so clearly wrong-headed. Intentional or not, it’s such an obvious invitation for Sam to comfort him that it might well have been embossed. If this were in e.g. season 15, or if the crime he’d committed had been less awful, I can easily hear Sam’s reassurance: no, Dean, I promise you’re a good person, we all make mistakes. It is the most toxic way possible to frame a potential apology.

The textual theme of Dean-as-poison (and, for that matter, the consequence of Kevin’s death vs. the initial crime of the possession) is an intentional muddying of the waters: Crowley, Cas, and Dean himself all bring it up in some fashion, linking some fundamental aspect of Dean himself rather than Dean’s choices to Kevin’s death. Crowley is trying to be cutting; Cas is trying to be supportive; Dean is both excusing himself and camouflaging that fact in his exhausting self-loathing. There is a complicated interplay of what the text says about Dean’s guilt and what it condemns; this pattern continues throughout s9, and reaches its apex in the next several episodes. Dean’s love as a condemning feature rather than a redeeming one is one of my favorite things about SPN, and s9 has it in HIGH gear.

But, here, at least, Sam doesn’t rise to this bait either. “Don’t go thinking that’s the problem, ‘cause it’s not.” The problem is obviously, achingly, exhaustingly clear. Sam’s spelled it out in this very conversation: you tricked me. You lied to me. You got me possessed when I was willing to die. But Dean, and a fair portion of the audience, can’t hear it. So he doesn’t. And they don’t, and they pretend that this line is some sort of puzzle! a cliffhanger on a conversation unfinished! when it was the conclusion, not the beginning.

image that is now inextricable from 9.10