#there is no redemption for the pain and suffering this bastard caused

[dragonartist56]

Possibly unpopular Avatar opinion

This fucker deserved to die

[alexisherself]

Coronations and Revelations

Summary: Post-Gortash coronation the crew deals with the new information about their leader, the Dark Urge/Solikha. Gale and Karlach take it especially hard. All the angst, so much angst. Spoilers for early Act 3.

“I think you’ve said and done enough” Gale stared at her or he did stare through her? He finally turned away without as much as a touch to her hand. They had barely left the audience hall after Gortash’s sham of a coronation but Wyrm's Rock was thick with tension as everyone skirted around the enormous elephant in the room. The elephant in question was Solikha and the tension that grew was in reaction to Gortash explaining this whole Absolute cult, the brain, and the crown, was their idea…her idea. 

“Well I for one am glad you’re a devious evil bastard.” Astarion said, finally breaking the heavy silence. “If it weren't for you I’d still be under Cazador’s control.” This seemed to calm Karlach just enough for her to not burst into flames at that moment. Solikha wasn’t sure if their relationship would ever be repaired. If what was said, and all that was unsaid, was true it means she was allies and possibly lovers with the person who sold Karlach to Zariel. But without Solikha and Gortahs’s plan, Karlach would still be in Avernus. The smallest silver lining in a mountain of shit.

“Well soldier, this is…a lot to take in. Not only are you a Bhaalspawn, and we all weren’t that surprised about it cause of all the murder talk and well murder, but you conceived the Absolute? And you were fucking Gortash? GORTASH?!” Karlach was burning so hot now that Wyll had to step away to grab Shadowheart just in case she needed to dose her in water. She couldn’t even look at Solikha and she didn’t blame her. “Did you know what he did to me?! Were you there when he decided to sell my heart and soul?!”

“To be fair Karlach, we don’t know if and when they were fucking each other.” Astarion joked with a poor attempt to ease the tension. “I will say darling, Gale is definitely a step up, good for you.”

Her stomach couldn’t stop turning and it was worse than she had even thought. Being a Bhaalspawn was one thing, at least there was a comfort in knowing where her Urge comes from, but to be the reason for their current plight? The reason for the suffering of the people she loved the most. Solikha glanced at Gale who was now discussing camp protection with Laezel, as to keep out Orin. He flinched as he overheard them talking of Gortash and Solikha, a look in his eyes flashed of pain and confusion. A lump formed in her throat and she felt as if she would spill her guts all over the floor of this damned fortress. 

“Either way Fangs, I think I need some time.” Karlach sighed and turned away. “I think we all do.” 

All Solikha could do was nod and with that everyone left towards camp. She slowly followed and watched them all surround Wyll comforting him after his talk with Mizora. Astarion grabbed Wyll’s hand and kissed it softly. Jaheria came up and touched her shoulder as Solikha entered camp. “Give them time, cub.” Jaheria said softly. “They’ll come around…eventually.” 

Solikha just wanted to hide away in the makeshift home for their four legged friends and give her companions time to figure out their next course of action. She’d caused them all enough pain and she wasn’t sure exactly how to deal with that. How could she ever make up for what she’s done? She didn’t deserve their love or this accidental chance at redemption. Even if she could destroy Orin and somehow pull her Father’s essence from her veins, the ocean of blood that was of her creation could never be drained.

Gale didn’t speak to Solikha all night, and thankfully Jaheria and Astarion were up for the challenge of keeping an eye on her. He wasn’t exactly sure what to say, which was a newer experience for him. The person he’d been sharing a bedroll with since Moonrise was not only a Bhaalspawn but the creator of the Absolute. She was the reason for their unwelcome ocular insertion and all their suffering so far. He should have seen it coming, especially when around every corner at Moonrise someone knew who she was. The way Ketheric spoke to her and looked at her, the Warden’s disdain for her, and Kressa that freak Myrkulite who tore her body asunder. There was Solikha’s strange behavior there too. He saw her falter and give in to the Urge multiple times and speak as if she was a different person. Someone to be feared, someone to be respected. Gale was a fool blinded by love who couldn’t see the blazing fire in front of him. 

Soon a different feeling crept up though and couldn’t help but be mystified and elated that she, and Gortash, were the ones who brought the crown into the material plane and within his reach. The crown that would ascend him to godhood, free him from the orb and give him the power to cure them all. Could he even rip her from Bhaal’s grip? Take her to the heavens with him and start anew, a life they both deserved. A life without the demands of Gods. Maybe this was the invisible string that has been pulling together all along. Gale didn’t really believe in destiny, but of course he’d be attracted to someone with so much ambition, previously evil or not. 

Then there was the Gortash of it all…he all but said they were together before but to what extent? Gale wasn’t above being jealous, and the thought of them together made his blood boil. What did her possible attraction to Gortash say about Gale himself? Were there similarities there that he was not able to see, or willing to see? He attempted to shake the thoughts and visions coming to his mind as he heard footsteps outside his tent. 

“Gale, do you have a moment?” The voice did not belong to Solikha, as he deep down hoped, but to Shadowheart. She entered his tent and sat down without waiting for a reply. 

“Well I guess I do, please sit. What can I help you with?” Gale responded a bit annoyed but also slightly relieved. Maybe talking this through with someone would be helpful and Shadowheart tended to be the most practical minded of the bunch, now that she’s turned from Shar anyways.

“You haven’t spoken to Solikha since the coronation let alone looked her in the eye.” her own eyes probing Gale’s for a reaction. “Maybe you wish to speak about all that’s been uncovered?”

“Well, Shadowheart I am not exactly sure where to start or what to even say.” Gale fiddled with the ring on his finger, the one that matched Solikha’s own ring they found near Moonrise. “It’s almost as if I don’t know her at all now.”

“Gale, we both know that’s not true. We both know Solikha, the one here with us now.” Shadowheart sighed. “The same woman who conjured the idea of the Absolute would not have helped any of us. She wouldn’t have helped save the Grove and the tieflings. She wouldn’t have helped me turn from Shar, helped you not allow Mystra decide your fate.”

Gale looked up from the ring. He knew what she said was true. The Solikha they knew was all too willing to put herself in harm's way to help anyone, like that goblin in the grove. It's a surprise Astarion liked her so much honestly. “I suppose you’re right.” Gale said and looked over to the entrance to his tent willing her to come to him now.

“Gale, as someone who once followed an unforgiving god and most likely committed unspeakable horrors to people in the name of said god,” Shadowheart paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. “It’s hard to forgive yourself or even feel worthy of forgiveness. Not to say she or I deserve such a thing but…” she trailed off. Gale realized that much like Solikha, Shadowheart could also not remember most of the atrocities she might have committed during her time with Shar. Was it worth knowing, he wondered, to remember those transgressions? Or was their memory loss a fated shield from their sins, paving a new path for them both to redemption. 

“All I’m trying to say is, while I’m also angry and confused, I can empathize with her.” Shadowheart went to stand up. “She doesn’t remember any of this Gale, not really anyway. She is likely as horrified as we all are. And when you’re ready I think you should hear her out and be there for her.”

Gale thanked her for her council as they left his tent. He walked past Wyll preparing dinner, probably as a distraction from thinking about his father and his patron. Mizora was due to come see him soon and as much as they had rejoiced in him negotiating out of his pact, Gale had a sneaking suspicion Mizora just got the upper hand yet again.

He scanned the camp for Solikha as he approached the fire and finally spotted her sitting with Scratch, the owlbear and Astarion. Of course the vampire was there with her. While Jaheria had dealt with a similar Bhaalspawn in the past, she wasn’t exactly the best with comforting words. Astarion on the other hand was surprisingly delicate in these situations, especially with Solikha. Their connection used to irk Gale but he’d come to accept that their friendship was just that, an intimate and deeply personal platonic friendship. There will always be parts of Solikha that Astarion could understand on a different level, and that's alright. Good even.

“Darling, there is no use beating yourself up.” Astarion said to Solikha whose head rested on his shoulder. “Like you told me before, there is no going back to the past. We can only look forward and be less of a bastard now.” He hugged her tight and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. 

“But I hear the creaky knees of your dear wizard behind us so I suppose it’s time for me to help my sweet with dinner.” Astarion hopped up, turned to leave, looked at Gale and whispered to him, “Remember what you promised me at Last Light. My eyes are on you until this is sorted out.” His hand gripping Gale’s a bit harder than necessary, but his point was made, and Gale nodded in response.

Gale sat down on the straw in the animal enclosure next to Solikha and looked her over. She was paler, eyes red and puffy and overall looked like death. The last few days have been tough on her and Gale didn’t really see it until now. With all his thoughts on the crown and her past actions Gale, unlike Shadowheart, failed to notice how painful this all must be for her. She had seemed almost relieved about the revelation of her heritage but looking at her now he realized he may have misunderstood. Looking at her now she looked so fragile and broken. 

“My love, I have been a terrible fool.” Gale pulled her to his chest. “If you can find it in yourself to forgive my extreme ungentlemanly behavior earlier this morning…” he paused trying to find what to say next.

“It’s…it’s okay.” Solikha sniffed and leaned closer into him. “It’s a lot to take in. It’s a lot for you and for me.” Her voice cracked slightly. 

“I’m ready to discuss or ignore whatever you wish, love.” Gale looked out to the sky as the clouds glowed with the last of the sun's rays. “In your own time and whatever you need of me, I’m here.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Scratch and the Owlbear cub came up and settled at their feet. The chatter around the fire grew as dinner approached being ready. 

“Let’s just stay here, for a moment please.” Solikha asked, still staring out at the sky. “I just don’t think I can face them right now. Especially Karlach.” Gale gripped her shoulder tighter and kissed the top of her head. 

“Of course my love, whatever you need.” Gale said. His thoughts moved to the crown again, as the stars started to twinkle into the sky. Hope rippled in his heart thinking of what the crown could mean for him, for her, for all of them. 

[monochromatictoad]

For the ask: Trevorcard, Hector and Isaac :P

Trevorcard!

1. favorite thing about them: Trevorcard's devotion to his family, but also to his own humanity. He worked his ass off to get his father to see he's worthy of redemption, while also never succumbing to the vampire curse.

2. least favorite thing about them: The fact he never told Simon who he really was. I get why he didn't, but it doesn't make me happy about it.

3. favorite line: "You'll pay for what you did to me and my mother!" Specifically as young Trevor in the Castle portions of LoS2. It seems like a strange quote, but this is the first thing Trevor said to Dracul before their first battle, so it's how Trevorcard gets Gabriel to see the young boy is him.

4. brOTP: Trevorcard and Victor. Honestly, not much is known of their relationship, but I'd like to think they were pretty close.

5. OTP: Trethias (Trevorcard x Mathias) and Trevorcard x Sypha. (Gavor)

6. nOTP: Satan x Trevorcard. Listen Satan. Possessing the body of your crush's son, is not how you get your crush to like you back.

7. random headcanon: Trevorcard watches over the Belnades after he became a vampire. It's one thing he could do as atonement for causing his wife's death, but also because of the changing political stance on them. After the Belmonts split from the original Brotherhood of Light (another headcanon), he begins to watch over them too.

8. unpopular opinion: I think he's the coolest looking Alucard, and I like how they show that he refuses to give into the curse by perpetually starving himself of blood, which shows on his actual character model.

9. song i associate with them: uhhh....

Animal by Disturbed.

10. favorite picture of them: have some baby Trevorcard, ft. Dracul's hand.

Hector!

1. Favorite thing about them: The fact he broke away from Dracula and Isaac, finding his own place in the world, free from their toxicity.

2. Least favorite thing about them: Hector, honey, maybe don't try to the woman helping you. (I hope I'm remembering that panel of the manga correctly)

3. Favorite line: "Damn him! So be it. I must descend into darkness and reclaim that accursed power once more... Heed my words. I will hunt you down like the beast you are. I will have my revenge!" Like? My guy? That goes so fucking hard.

4. brOTP: Alucard and Hector. Weird adopted brothers, who are each other's only sanctuary.

5. OTP: Hectaly, Isaactor, and Mactor

6. nOTP: can I put N!Isaactor? I'm putting that.

7. Random headcanon: I really like the ones that portray Hector treating his Innocent Devils as like little pets/children.

8. Unpopular opinion: honestly? I don't think I have one.

9. Song I associate with them: Uhhh... Maybe..

The Death of Peace of Mind by Bad Omen

10. Favorite picture of them: I know he's barely visible, but like, the size difference between him and Dracula? *Chef's kiss*

Isaac!

1. Favorite thing about them: unhinged bastard man, causing death and destruction in his wake. What's not to love about that?

2. Least favorite thing about them: Maybe don't burn your adopted brother/ex lover's wife at the stake? And expect him to like you still?

3. Favorite line: "I've been waiting quite a long time to plot my revenge. Not only did my Lord die because of you -- you stripped me of my pride, my home. Now I shall make you suffer as I suffered. You shall die a most painful, gruesome death." Isaac, honey. Like, this line is painful, but it shows so much about Isaac and his mentality around Dracula and the Castle.

4. brOTP: Joachim and Isaac. I just can't visualize them being in a relationship.

5. OTP: Isaactor, Isaastle, and Gabsaac/Isabriel? Basically Isaac x Gabriel.

6. nOTP: same as Hector. N!Isaactor

7. Random headcanon: I think Isaac could play a few instruments. I don't know... He seems like the type to have, like, a bass or, like, a steel guitar.

8. Unpopular opinion: Isaac is perfect as he is. He is chaos and depravity, and I love him for that. He's so unapologetically awful in every way, and I love that in a character.

9. Song I associate with them: Sick Like Me by In This Moment

10. Favorite picture of them: This is just a fantastic image of Isaac.

[navstuffs]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

hiiii, thank you for the question!! i thought this would be hard but it wasn't as much as i thought lol all of them are x gn!reader fics, bc i like being delusional

1.In the Shadows (Aemond Targaryen/ House of the Dragon) - THE hardest, THE MOST CHALLEGING and my favorite piece I ever written on my entire life. reader is evil ASF, there is dubious consent, aemond is a bastard, there is torture, sexual tension. enemies to lovers to enemies, they could have been something but they never will. reader was SOOOO FUCKING HARD to write, bc i wanted to feel credible to the universe the george r. r. martin made and i can only hope i made justice. ALSO THE ENDING????? i dont even believe i wrote it myself lol

2. Creep (Leon Kennedy/ Resident Evil) - one of the best fics i ever written cause like what was that??????? im so proud of it, leon is a mess, reader is a mess, pain, struggle, suffering. it is not a happy fic and its there to remind us, reality sucks. but we can always say no to it.

3. The Deal (Arthur Morgan/ Red Dead Redemption)- my weird west horror story with my favorite cowboy, Arthur Morgan. Although im not entirely happy with the final result, i finally FINALLY wrote eldritch horror in a fic of mine, something i have tried to do for a long time. doesnt well (it shouldnt), could have been better, but i worked so hard for this piece it earns the third place.

4. The Three Loves of Adrian Chase (Adrian Chase/ Peacemaker) - a fic I keep super close to my heart, i wrote back home and came completely in my head and i had to sit down and write. honestly, it felt out of this world, almost supernatural. writing adrian is SO HARD (with peacemaker season 2 coming im ready to go insane again) also, i keep adrian chase close to my chest cause he is the whole reason i started this blog.

5. Sweet Revenge (Adrian Chase/Peacemaker) - one of my first smuts, ONE OF THE HARDEST and probably not the best ones. i love this fic bc i succeeded in writing smut, so it earns its place. also fucking vigilante bc peacemaker cheated on you in the first place and then sending him a tape is CHEFS KISS

[hamliet]

Hi, I'm the last The Glory anon :). I just wanted to say, I get your point of drama's needing to be centered around restorative/preventative justice, I think they're valuable, but I think drama's like The Glory are needed as well. The background of this series was actually because the creator was horrified after reading all the bullying incidents and she actually interviewed a lot of victims in order to get a feeling of what she wanted to say and she ended up wanting to give a voice of those victims who were suffering in silence. The overwhelming sense that she got from those victims, was they they have not felt heard, helped or listened to, that they were gaslit into thinking that they were the ones in fault and that they deserved the horrific treatment. They didn't pursue any actions against their bullies either, out of fear of retaliation or they were coerced into thinking that it would destroy their bullies lives if they did. They wanted to let people know that they (the victims) know now, that it wasn't their fault for being bullied. To let people see how an entire system was stacked against them. The whole series through, the protag was okay into believing she wasn't a good person, that she didn't deserve love or friendship cause she knew taking revenge wasn't something a good person would do. So the drama never really glorified revenge either. What the series did do (for me, at least) was to validate a victim's feeling of hurt, pain, disappointment, abandonment and resentment. And I think that's fair. And powerful. So many times, a victim has to micromanage their feelings into pretty, neat, palpable things for others or have been gaslit into thinking the feelings of bullies and other peoples are more valid, more important. My bullies and my abusers for once, all came from broken homes/trauma's and they used that in order to keep raping/abusing me, a disabled woc. They made me think that the abuse I endured, was far less painful than the abuse they were going through/went trough and that I deserved the abuse because I wasn't worth anything anyway and they were patient /tolerant enough with me. Thinking my bullies/ abusers' feelings were more important than mines, literally almost killed me, but feeling wronged, feeling hurt and yes angry at what was happening to me, saved me. Nothing ever happened to my abusers/bullies and they never thought any wrong of their treatment towards me, either. The worst abuser and rapist were family members and I didn't want to end up with no family at my side completely. As an adult now, plenty of people feel okay to look down on my because of my disability and my race and I can't do anything about their treatment towards me, those little, unjust treatments cut like thousand paper cuts ever single day, but what can I do? I will have to swallow and deal with that every day, for the rest of my day. So yes, having a drama like the glory taking down entitled assholes down, is in some way cathartic, cause real life lets most of the bastards get away. I'm by far perfect, but I'm def not made of violent revenge plans, rage or anger. I can hardly even raise my voice towards someone. Cause I know what it is like to be at the receiving end of someone else's misery and I don't want any part of that anger and inability to see the humanity of someone else. I don't understand why someone would feel entitled to hurt another, who's usually weaker than them. Regardless of their pain or trauma's. Somewhere there is a line. Getting off from someone else's pain is not normal. And if you can't take responsibility for trauma's caused (and there are PLENTY of people who won't/unable to even see the their wrongness), I have even less patience for. I love me some morally grey fictional characters, I do. Redemption stories of abused people hurting others, only to realise they are not better than their abusers, can be powerful, I agree. Yet. If people can love and see the humanity of a redeemed bully/abuser, then I hope that people can accept the anger and resentment of a victim, too. Have a nice day.

Hi! I was worried about losing your ask in particular, so thank you for resending it.

"If people can love and see the humanity of a redeemed bully/abuser, then I hope that people can accept the anger and resentment of a victim, too"<--I do think this is incredibly important, and absolutely something worth remembering.

I’m also very sorry you’ve had to deal with all of this, for what it's worth. You shouldn't have had to.

I also wanna state that every story, even ones that I profoundly find irresponsible or bad, can help people because experiences are so very varied and everyone has unique needs. I’m definitely not pro censorship, so I am glad the story was able to help you. (Plenty of stories I like could be called bad and could upset other people... which is where critique comes in!)

For a larger point... I get a bit philosophical here, but that's because I honestly think systemic answers and individual answers don't always coincide. I'll explain a bit more below, and I hope to convey that my dislike of the show and labeling of it is absolutely not coming from a space of “you are a bad person if you liked it;” I don’t think that at all. I am glad this story offered you an outlet, and for others too. You deserve catharsis.

It's interesting what you note about the creator, because that does make sense. The ironic thing is that if anything I think her care actually contributed to the problems I had personally with the show—and keep in mind this is me personally, my own experience and opinion, bringing my own experiences and baggage to it which everyone does. I guess I am frustrated with the story because it seems like a case of best intentions, maybe, that still does harm. Yet there’s not always a way to prevent the worst effects of the best intentions, too.  So that’s not inherently the creator’s fault either. Just a reality, I suppose. 

As I said before, I genuinely think the show would have worked better had it framed itself with that self awareness that it was a revenge fantasy and an individual story, but it did present itself instead as something deeper than what it was, as drawing awareness in order to create an answer (hence the use of shock value graphic violence that while not unrealistic was still designed to provoke). And the consequences have been far beyond just people being aware of bullying or calling out people who were bullies, unfortunately. It has led to harassment campaigns and perpetuated myths about what causes bullying, which then makes it harder to actually intervene and stop the cycle. Hence I think that's why I consider it irresponsible to frame it as offering a solution when it does not; if it framed itself as escapism, that’d be different. 

That’s what frustrates me, I guess. I keep comparing it to 13 Reasons Why, because while that show also got people talking about suicide and assault and I know allowed people to feel empathized with in their pain, so I'm glad they have that, it also perpetuated myths about suicide that ultimately make it harder to actually intervene and prevent such things. This perpetuated several myths that make it harder to stop bullying, and actually has led to bullying because people online can become convinced that someone deserves to be bullied if they’re a bad enough person, but what that means is not generally as obvious as we'd think. That the director got caught up in the accusations and campaigns of was ultimately extremely ironic, but in a tragic sense: a real case of take out the plank from your own eye before looking for a speck in another’s. But he probably still has a career and a life ahead of him. The blowback will die down for him. But other people with far less money and less privilege, people who are not big name stars or idols or whatever, don’t have the same luxury, and that bothers me in this case.

It's also true that some issues are easier for each individual to see in a larger context and some that are more individual/personal, and it's also not necessarily linked to what someone has personally been through, and also, it's a lot harder for me to "zoom out" when it comes to other issues. And frankly? Your needs, and the individual needs in general, do need to be met too--individual and systemic needs both should be. So, I am glad this show could meet those individual needs, even though I hold that with my criticisms.

Sending you hugs, if wanted.

[spellbook-gayboy]

i know i'm late again but prompt #15? :]

15.

"Hrrn. I suppose so, when you don't know what it is" Ian grumbled at himself, stopping to take a sip from the small chipped bowl in his hand.

Ian- the younger Ian, rather- raised a brow. Oh, aye? What is it, then?" he inquired. He couldn't understand why the small landmark captivated his older self so much: it was little more than a pile of stones, with a long iron spike wedged among them at an awkward angle. "Is it a waypoint? Maybe a shrine?"

"It's a grave" the older wizard cut off, turning to look at his counterpart with a somewhat forlorn look on his wrinkled features. "It's Paul's grave"

Ian's blood froze. "Wha- I-" he stammered, nervously running a hand through his hair. "How did... how did he-?!"

"In his sleep, at the ripe old age of seventy nine years old" he cut in, turning back to gaze at it. “Out of all the people I’ve lost over the decades, after everyone I had to bury before their time... I’m glad that I got to live my life out with him” he told himself, voice quivering as he pressed on. His face hardened, and the anger that rose in his voice was sharp and loud. “But... it doesn’t negate the suffering that he caused us. Doesn’t bring back all of the people that he murdered. Kate, Sarah, Samson, Rex... Nikki. There’s no forgiving what Immortal did to us, did to everyone. And I swear, on everyone I’ve lost, that I will kill him; that I will tear that bastard limb from limb, and burn what’s left, even if it’s the last fucking thing I do!”

A figure materialised next to the older Ian, a young man in grey robes, clearly a wizard of the same order as he once was. He remembered the first time he wore those robes, a downtrodden nineteen year old, seeking some redemption for his past. It all seemed so distant now. “Master Ian,” the man greeted, hastily bowing to him, “we’re ready. We await your command.”

The older Ian brushed something from under his eye, perhaps a tear, and calmly told his student “Ready yourselves. We leave in two hours”, dismissing them after with a wave. “Today, it ends. For good.”

The younger Ian had no idea what to say, what to ask at the many revelations he had just heard from this alternate of himself. He turned to leave, to go to back into the great hall they had been staying at. “Hang on,” he heard his older self tell him, and he stopped. “There’s something I need to give you.”

“What?” he asked.

“This” the older Ian replied, fishing what looked like a necklace from a pocket in his robes. No, not a necklace- a ring, simple dirty silver on a thin chord. He pressed it into the younger wizard’s palm, reluctantly so, like it was a herculean effort just to let go of the band. 

“Is it magical?”

“No”

“What’s it for?”

“You’ll know when the time comes. Until then, keep a close eye on it, won’t you?”

“I... I will” Ian promised, stuffing the ring into his pocket. “I’ll leave you now” he quickly added, turning again and quickly moving back to the hall. That left the old man, the old Ian, to go back to the grave that captivated him. He knelt, pressing a wrinkled and frail hand to the piled stone as he tried and failed to hold back the tears brimming in his eyes. His hand moved from the stone to his mouth and back again, a kiss pressed to the rock on his palm. He sniffled, blinking through the salty sting of tears. When he spoke again, it was little more than a strained whisper, hoarse from decades of pain and loss. But it was also happy, pulling up every moment of bliss and happiness to steel himself for the coming fight. All he could utter was a simple phrase, repeated over decades and woven into everything he did:

“I love you, Paul. Always will”

[syn0vial]

i'm beside myself waiting for the book of boba fett bc like. look. it's a disney show. there are certain rules the show is gonna follow for what boba can and can't do as a disney protagonist and that means they're not going to let him be as callous or as brutal as he was in legends. i mean, we already saw it in the trailer: boba rejecting his old bounty hunter ways, seeking others' respect rather than their fear—disney is clearly shoving him closer to a Good alignment than previous depictions.

and you know what? that's fine with me. actually, i'm kind of excited for it. BUT. my biggest sticking point is that i want there to be a reason for the change. i don't want disney to overwrite the fact that, even ignoring his misdeeds in the expanded universe, boba fett was a ruthless bastard who worked for downright evil causes so long as the pay was good. i don't want them pretending he was ~always a good person deep down~ or even close to a good person, bc doing that would invalidate literal decades of characterization just so disney could have another insipid, safe, "asshole with a heart of gold" hero.

and the thing that's driving me crazy is that the solution is so obvious: the silver bullet that would let disney kickstart a believable "redemption arc" while still paying respects to boba's original characterization and expanded universe storyline, just laying out there in the open for anyone to see. it's quite literally written all over the man's face:

the sarlacc pit

like, daniel keys moran, mad man that he was, already did the heavy lifting! he described what the sarlacc does to its victims mentally and it's actually perfect for what disney needs. bc the thing is, in moran's original story, the sarlacc doesn't just feed on its victims physically; it feeds on them psychically as well. specifically on their fear, pain, and confusion. and how does it elicit fear, pain, and confusion?

it forces its victims to experience one another's memories: memories of others' lives, loved ones, suffering, and death. it literally uses empathy as a means of torture.

if you ask me, i think it would be very believable to posit that forcibly experiencing dozens, if not hundreds of strangers' lives, loves, and unjust, torturous deaths would make even someone as hard as boba fett reevaluate his life choices. i would even wager that he might come out of the experience a little less callous and a little less indifferent to the lives/fates of others. which is, of course, exactly what disney needs to mold him into an acceptable protagonist.

see? such a neat, convenient way to give everyone what they want! and with so many interesting directions to take things afterward. is boba still walking around with those foreign memories knocking around his head? does he find himself recognizing places he's never been, knowing people he's never met? are the memories useful? a tool? an honor? a burden?

it's such an obvious, fun solution and i have to wait more than a month to see if they actually used it.

[lordiedams]

Acts of Redemption - chapter 1 (AVM SHORTS Story)

AO3 Acts of Redemption

When the battle was finally over, when all of them were finally down. The rush of relief and pride should wash over you, after all, you are now a winner right?

Why does it feels....Empty?

TW: Violence, Blood, Mention of melting inside.

Chapter 1 - Accept defeat before it consumes you

For how many hours have them been fighting? One? Ten? Did not an hour pass at all?

Time has become a mush of barely recognizable blurs of images and noises and voices and pain, sweat, pain, pain, pain.

The king managed to hit Second coming on the head, so hard that the stickfigure was sure he had a concussion, and with that, the King had in hands both cubes. Both powers were now his…

It was over… It was all over…

He won…Somehow, They lose...

The stickfigures all focused on King at once; trying, fighting for their lives, take the cube away from him. But it was useless; he was too strong for them now, he summoned all his brutes to attack too, they were overwhelmed.

Second Coming ran on top of debris of a broken castle, readying a punch when a bolt of lightning hit him.

He was used to pain, after all, fighting cause pain, falling cause pain, not being able to save his friends caused pain. But that… That was the worst thing he ever felt, as if molten lava had been pour down his throat, melting him alive from the inside out, as if every piece of meat in his body had been deep fried. He screamed, and Blue ran for him, being hit a quick attack from the King who just wanted to watch them suffer.

The orange stickfigure fell to the ground, but with all his strength, managed to get up in shaky knees, the pain still going through his body, he could taste blood in his mouth.

The fight seemed endless and at this point, hopeless. With the quick slice of a summoned enchanted sword, Second coming watched in horror as the Warden went down, rumbling to the floor like a tower falling down, his heart ached at the thought, he brought it to its death, it was his fault this had happened!

Looking around, there was no weapons anymore, Yellow, still tightly holding on to the blue staff is has been given, was barely able to hold himself together, with bruises and cuts going all the way down to his legs as a horde of brutes surrounded him, he couldn’t keep up with them all, Second wanted to help, he couldn’t move.

Blue and Red weren’t  better either, fighting with swords and fishing poles against an all-powerful being was like breathing without lungs, painful…impossible…hopeless… One of the brutes managed to hit Red on the head with the back of his axe, Red fell limp on the floor.

Green was still up, fighting fist to fist against purple, which didn’t care about rules, or playing fair. He was winning, Second knew, Green was strong, was brave but Purple was fast, was ruthless, flying around him, hitting him from all angles… Green was exhausted.

Second Coming didn’t want to give up, not after all they went through, not after all this pain, and it was not an option to give up! So he was alone, fighting head first the King who could kill him if he wanted to. But the sick bastard was not here for blood yet, no, he was playing with them, like a predator playing with its food. 

He couldn’t give up, don’t give up! His mind kept repeating that phrase, don’t give up, don’t give up…Don’t….Don’t…

But his legs were, oh so sore, so tired, he was walking on fire, on spikes, on ice, on the souls of whoever died before them in this forsaken place. Keep going, keep walking, don’t fall, don’t stop...

 What do you do when your own body betrays you?

He could see the King, floating above them all, waving his power around with Purple flying by his side.

The orange stickfigure fell to the ground, lungs aching while trying to bring him enough air, he felt light headed, and the faint voice of his friends around him when everything went black.

Green was the last one to fall, just by about a minute, he fought with all his might but Purple was strong enough to pin him to the floor and Green didn’t have the strength to stop him any longer.

The last thing he saw before all went black, was Purple holding both his hands to his throat until he couldn’t breathe anymore.  

─ Take them all, keep them far away from each other, they are not but trouble when united. ─ The king demanded loudly and the brutes and Purple rushed to oblige, carrying each other stick figures.

 ─ Except for him.

The taller figure pointed at Second Coming, bruises and tired from a lost battle. ─ He has potential… I want him in my castle.

─ My lord? ─ Purple started, looking at his King with confusion. ─ What could he be worth for? After all he has done…  

─ This is not yours information to know! Now, take the others and bring their leader with me.

Purple frowned, but nodded in respect, whatever his King had in mind, he was sure it was important. He didn’t have to worry about it.

─ Let’s go, Piglins! Take the others to the towers; do not take your eyes off of them! ─ Purple ordered around, as he watched his King and his own brutes walk away from the scene. ─ Make your all this idiots are incapable of fleeing again!

The brutes scattered in five groups, not equal in member since, truth be told, they can’t count.

─ I’m taking green myself. ─ Purple followed a small group of brutes, one of them carrying the green stickfigure, who had passed out not long ago. ─ Let’s get this over with…

[ruthlesslistener]

Just to add onto the darkstalker conversation (different anon) yeah artic absolutely deserved to die. And yeah I think Tui fucked up his arc terribly, like his treatment in book 10 was atrocious and while Darkstalker legends had it's truly interesting and good bits I feel like it just went "haha he's evil shut up" at the end and Clearsight saying "maybe it was something he hatched with" and the book not even remotely refuting that bullshit made me want to throw something. To me I think the horror of the attic situation was the way he did it though. I mean in front of everyone and espically in front of whiteout who still cared for him and who had just suffered some major trauma. Arctic absolutely had to go Darkstalker was in the right to kill him. But the way he did it was the worst possible way imaginable in front of his also traumatized sister and also a bunch of Nightwing children. Yeah dragons kill each other all the time. But forcing someone to disbowel themself against their will? That's gotta be traumatizing. Just my two cents, although again I agree with most of your points and you're free to have your own opinion! :) -💜

YOU. YOU GET IT. YOU GET WHAT I MEAN ABOUT TUI FUCKING DARKSTALKER UP. Because the BIGGEST issue that I have with him is that the way she wrote him in the Legends was perfect- EXCEPT for the fact that she attributed his problems to being 'born evil'. Which is very much complete and utter bullshit considering the fact that she shoved this baby dragon into a family that turned him into a ticking time bomb before having the NightWing queen gleefully turn him into a war-weapon that fed into his taught notion of 'the only person that will help me is myself and the only way out of my shitty situation is power'. And then in book 10 we have NO idea why he wants to be king so badly (other than haha he's evil and arrogant fuck you), not to mention the horrorshow that was the ending with him. Like I don't want to excuse his actions or w/ever, but he was literally done so dirty by everyone around him and we got no reason for why he was trying to conquer the other tribes to begin with. Like, murdering the IceWings? Terrible, but I can at least understand it. Conquering everyone else? That's a hatchling's pipe dream that really shouldn't have been used to make him the Big Bad. The fact that he's a war weapon turned loose made him enough of a threat imo, and a therapy/redemption arc that DIDN'T reset him would have fit him much better.

As for the Arctic thing- I understand where you're coming from, anon, but I'll have to respectfully disagree. Forcing Arctic to disembowl himself was probably the most fitting end to that motherfucker that could have been given. Because imo, Arctic was way worse than Darkstalker was simply for the fact that there are many more lives on his consciousness and much more suffering at his claws that we see in-book. He abandoned his tribe to chase the tail of a dragoness that he barely met, sparking a war between the two tribes that lasted over a thousand years and causing countless deaths in the meanwhile. He deprived the IceWings of their animus blood. He became a traitor twice over- once when he betrayed his own, then when he tried to sell his daughter (whom he altered with a spell to make her more 'palatable', may I add) off to the IceWings. He killed and maimed hundreds for his actions, then had the audacity to make his mate's life a living hell for a choice that he made. The first thing that his infant son read from his mind upon his hatching was hatred and contempt, which only grew more violent as he aged. He made their home a place of anger and vitrol. He caused countless deaths and violence because he was too damn selfish to suck it up and deal with the lot that life had given him. That fucking bastard is the cause of so much pain and played a big part in why Darkstalker became a walking weapon, he deserves to pay for his crimes

Honestly? If I were Darkstalker, I would have dragged his ass to the high court or w/ever so that the entire kingdom would know what he did. Then I would have forced him to feel every second of agony that all those he wronged experienced after his betrayal, chaining him down so that he would never be able to free himself or use his powers again. A simple disembowlment is a mercy compared to the punishment he deserved for making a ruin of two kingdoms.

[nillegible]

(Part 3 of Stay, the MY time travel fic. Read Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 )

It’s several more weeks before he meets Qin Su again, and it’s like having a sword shoved through his gut a second time.

He thought he’d gotten over her death in the weeks since, but apparently not.

Meng Yao’s skills at administrative work, honed to perfection over years of managing Jin sect, had resulted in a series of rapid promotions, as more and more people realized that Meng Yao was not only capable but willing to do boring meticulous drudge work and do it well. By the time Qin Su returns from her mother’s small, secluded clan, Clan Liu, Meng Yao is one of Qin Cangye’s personal aides.

He keeps his face when she thanks him for saving her life just barely. It’s so hard, when she looks so young and carefree, untouched by the grief for a lost child, of a secretive husband who never turned to her.

Meng Yao had done that to her.

I didn’t have a choice, he’d cried to Er-ge, in a temple and felt justified. In front of her sweet face, that defence dies a quiet death.

She’d killed herself, when she heard the truth, and for one moment, in between the grief, the rising terror of an unknown enemy stalking him, he’d hated her for it. Do you think you have suffered more than I? How dare you take your own life, while I still didn’t give up?

But he owes her better than that, so he smiles, and promises the Young Mistress Qin that it was Meng Yao who was honoured to have been of assistance to her. He remains perfectly cordial, always, in her presence. He doesn’t hide away, doesn’t take paths around the buildings that she frequents, even though every time he sees her again, it hurts.

This pain, at least, Meng Yao deserves.

He’s careful not to get too close though. He makes his excuses not to join her where he can, and never shows her the attention he had in a previous life. He didn’t expect this to be noticed, but as he’s learned the hard way, some eyes are always sharper than Meng Yao would give them credit for.

*

When Qin Tianyu approaches him for tea and a discussion of the talismans that Meng Yao has been reworking to be more efficient, he thinks nothing of it. When they’re working on writing some together after, and the talisman master carefully broaches the topic as if it wasn’t intentional, Meng Yao can see the Sect Leader’s interest in the matter.

“Meng Yao has been noticeably cold to Su-sizhi,” says Qin Tianyu.

Meng Yao looks up, sharply. “I have no quarrel with Qin-guniang.” How did I miss this?

“I said cold, not a quarrel,” he returns calmly. “She is the only one you do not call shijie.”

“She’s the heir, it’s polite, Qin-shishu,” Meng Yao says, even though he knows it’s not good enough. Everyone else calls her Su-shijie, quite enthusiastically. He endures the carefully considering look that Qin Tianyu sends his way. His mask had held up beneath Wen Ruohan, Nie Mingjue, Jin Guangshan, and Lan Xichen. He would not be unmasked by the a simple elder of Laoling Qin.

But Qin Tianyu just nods, as if confirming something to himself. “The idea was floated that Meng Yao joined Qin sect for Su-sizhi.” he says, and Meng Yao freezes, wary. “After all, Sect Leader Jin does not need another spare heir.”

Meng Yao sits in silence, work ignored as he tries to decide on a response. He had briefly considered before approaching Sect Leader Qin that it may look like this from outside, but had reasoned to himself that as long as he showed no interest in Qin Su, it would blow over, and he’d look like any other disciple. That people would find it suspicious that Meng Yao was not angling to marry her to become the next Qin Sect Leader is a surprise.

So, what should he say to turn this suspicion astray?

“This humble disciple is merely Sect Leader Jin’s bastard son. Young Mistress Qin deserves better,” he says, hoping that was vague enough to be acceptable.

“Meng Yao professes to be remarkably unambitious,” returns Qin Tianyu, lightly. Liar, he’s saying, even though for once Meng Yao isn’t actually lying. Qin Su did deserve better than what he’d given her. He’d loved her enough to know that. But unambitious people cannot do what Meng Yao did to keep his place at Wen Sect. Couldn’t remove the head of Wen Ruohan and end a war.

Unambitious people would not do all of that, just to become one of threw personal aides of a minor Clan Leader.

“Maybe I used it up,” says Meng Yao. From the way the elder glances up, he realizes that he had been silent long enough that he believed he wouldn’t get an answer. But Meng Yao has found his words, and there’s nothing to do but continue, “My mother wished to be a Jin concubine. She wanted me to do anything it takes to secure a place within Jin Sect. That it was the only way for me to live well.”

And she was wrong. She was as wrong about this as she was about Jin Guangshan. It had been a constant, grinding pain, to know again and again that the person he loved above all else had been so incredibly wrong. Meng Yao had thrown himself life and soul into trying to prove her right, into gaining his father’s regard and living well. He’d fought desperately, thinking that if only he gathered a little more influence, that if he did just a little bit more, then he’d succeed. Get the recognition his mother craved for him.

At some point, spite and fury had taken the place of love and duty, but he had not wavered in his goal. But he’d still never proved her right; had murdered his own father, and sat in mourning like a filial son, truly mourning how much he’d failed.

Nothing that he did could ever make up for it. This time, he knew better than to even try.

“It was my mother’s ambition,” he says aloud for the first time. Perhaps to a broken woman who did not even own herself, it had been liberating to imagine owning so much, to be in control of her own fate. “It was hers, but I…”

He falls silent, and after a few moments Qin Tianyu returns his attention to his paused work. For several minutes, he just watches the hypnotic way that the talisman master draws the same talisman again and again with the most minute of differences, to be tested and ranked according to efficacy.

“But you?” he prompts, when the stack is complete.

I want to live. That single, animalistic need, that had kept him alive through so much that would have killed others. I will not die here. Not now.

“I want to live,” says Meng Yao. And then continues, unable to stop, “I wanted her to live, too.” And when she didn’t, when illness wasted her away, taking her from him in pieces, unable to save her for want of something as immaterial as gold… something had broken in him.

Qin Tianyu nods, serene, as he gathers up the completed talismans. “Meng Yao would do well to think about why.”

Why?

You think your life is worth more than theirs? All the people you sacrificed, to live just a few years longer?

“Why shouldn’t I deserve to live?” asks Meng Yao, sharp. “Why shouldn’t we… why are our lives to be discarded at the whim of those stronger than us?”

“Silly child,” he says, “You have survived. You are alive. Now what?” Meng Yao just stares. “Perhaps Meng Yao should consider getting on with other things.”

Get on with what? Meng Yao had turned down Sect Leader Jin’s offer, had given up the name Jin Guangyao, just to escape the tragedies that that would precipitate.

But he was alive now. He was alive, and had time – perhaps even unmeasured time, so long as he stayed out of his father’s way. Perhaps he wouldn’t cultivate to near immortality, like those stronger than him, but he could live nearly a century more. Now what? Why are you alive?

It was so unlike him to not have a plan, but for once he hadn’t really. He didn’t…

“Meng Yao,” Qin Tianyu snaps, and when Meng Yao looks up, he’s leaning forward over the table, hand out and hovering over Meng Yao’s wrist.

“Master Qin?” asks Meng Yao, but rather than answer, the elder gently touches his fingertips to Meng Yao’s wrist. The pressure of foreign qi is familiar; light and diagnostic, before it withdraws.

“This old teacher apologizes,” he says, when he’s done. “I did not mean to cause you distress.”

“Not at all, this martial nephew is glad for his elder’s guidance,” says Meng Yao, taking his hand back and holding it to his chest. “I will meditate on how to prove myself more useful to Qin sect in the future.”

“Meng Yao, you misunderstand. No, rather, it was this master who misspoke. I did not mean to imply that you must prove yourself.”

“I understand,” says Meng Yao, after a beat. Spoken aloud, it must have sounded more cruel than he wished. But that was still what he meant.

There is no resolution after that. Qin Tianyu seems unable or unwilling to explain better, though he clearly thinks about it for a while. Finally, he dismisses Meng Yao, who leaves with the talismans. The lingering unease of a conversation that went poorly is left to fester in the room, while Meng Yao retreats to the disciple quarters immediately.

He resolves to work harder.

[AN: What do you think? Too OOC? I'm hoping to give MY a proper and slow redemption story, but it’s a toss up whether it’s going well or not. Thannk you for reading, please drop a comment in the replies if you have writing advice! I’ll be so grateful!]

[Click here for part 4!]

[eolewyn1010]

Warning: This is a rant.

So, there’s someone in the Charité fandom with a few, eh, interesting(?) ships. Namely, Anni/de Crinis as a romantic ship or, more recently, Anni/Christel. Which, whatever. I don’t shit on your ship, you leave my boats alone and all that; I guess the person in question is just into villain/protagonist ships. You do you. But I do have an opinion and I’m gonna elaborate on it now. (It’s a history- and canon-oriented breakdown; feel free to ignore.)

First of all, Max de Crinis was a Nazi. I’m not sure inhowfar the person in question is aware of that because they only ever seem to be talking about the character de Crinis in the Charité show (more on that later) and I don’t think they’re German; thus they might not have the cultural background to take this with the same queasy feeling I do, but yes, we’re talking a real-life Nazi who gave his expert reports on which people were to be “sorted out” in Aktion T4. Meaning, he actively participated in the mass murder of disabled people, adults and children alike. And no one can tell me he didn’t know what he was having part in. That man was influencial, way up in the hierarchy. He lived the superiority ideology of the Nazis, he preached it. We are shown that in the series. We hear the way he talks about people, about the Dohnanyis, about a traumatized woman who thinks she has lost her child, about homosexuals, and I think it’s not far-off from what we know of historical de Crinis. He was a monster, responsible for the deaths of hundreds or thousands and not sorry about it. He’s not shown as a redeemable antagonist in the series, and I don’t see him at all with Anni, a character who is very much shown to be redeemable. Anni is passive and complacent, which is another category of bad, but she is, to some degree, unaware. It is at least partially a willful unawareness, admittedly, but she is young enough to have been raised unaware. And once she overcomes this, she realizes that what happens around her, what her highly adored mentor preaches and practices, is nothing she can morally justify. That’s when her redemption begins. With her breaking down crying eventually as she can’t cling to her worldview anymore, we know it’s a painful process, and it’s supposed to be.

De Crinis is at no point unaware. He is a Nazi, and we’re never shown at any time that he wants to change that. We’re never shown him in pain, up until it’s about his own life. Because there was never any indication for that in the historical person and this is a historical show.

Secondly, the character we are shown in the series. He’s married, y’know? Admittedly, his wife is extremely non-present, showing up only to die by his side, but it’s one of the things that make de Crinis behave in that condescending mentorly way toward Anni instead of being actually flirty with her. So, the ship would have to do away with the wife. Then, it’d have to away with Artur because - oh, right, Anni already has an irredeemable Nazi asshole she’s married to. From what we’re shown, she and Artur are very much in love initially. It’s not an easy separation for her. Easiest solution? Make them both single from the get-go, I guess, have de Crinis be Karin’s father; he’d conveniently be protective of his own child and stuff... and wind up as Artur, basically. Who’s all, “yeah, other people’s children, but not mine, of course”. To overcome that, de Crinis would have to realize that all human life has inherent value. Which means, he’d have to renounce his work, his loyalty to the Nazi realm, everything his life and ego consists of. All the things he’s built his reputation on, might I note. There are others who watch him. He’d be dead in no time. And if we say he was like that from the get-go, then he never gets into a position of power in the first place. Scientist? Even several of his contemporaries thought his work was worthless. (We’re shown that in series-canon, too, with Sauerbruch and Jung grinning at his self-adulation.) His hostility with the Dohnanyis / Bonhoeffers? Wouldn’t be there; he’d be fighting for their cause. His psychological torture and persecution of Martin and Otto? Why would he hunt down homosexuals if he had internalized that all human life has value and Nazi ideology is wrong?

There would be nothing left of his character. What point is there in shipping Anni with de Crinis when the latter isn’t de Crinis anymore? Just make a new character then? 

Third, his points of redemption potential? ...there are none. His favorism of Anni? Based on her being a good little sheep who looks up at him with her wide, Aryan eyes and admires him. His soft spot for kids, shown in his disgust with Magda Goebbels’ planned murder of her children? He’s appalled that the virtuous paragon of the Nazi model family is shredding yet another bit of his pretty, pretty worldview; that’s all. He doesn’t give a shit about children. He doesn’t try to stop her or talk her out if it. He tells her where she can get poison to go through with it. When Anni mentions that “Karin has been evacuated”, he doesn’t even blink. And he knows what “evacuating” means for a disabled child. He doesn’t care. He has the point of view of Nurse Käthe, of Prof. Bessau: That child’s no good; make new ones. His taking flight, knowing that he has committed crimes he will be prosecuted for? Yeah - but he doesn’t seem to suffer from it. When Anni acknowledges herself as guilty, she breaks down and lashes out, realizing what she might have been and was capable of. De Crinis? Takes flight. He’s not a bit shaken, not a bit surprised by what he has been up to. He has always known that what he participated in is wrong; he just didn’t care so long as there were no consequences for him personally. The one and only thing that made de Crinis watch-worthy in the series is that Lukas Miko is a damn fine actor who gives one hell of a chilling performance. That doesn’t make his character any less of a piece of shit, nor does it diminish my urge to go take a shower after the de Crinis scenes. I wouldn’t mind watching Miko play a de Crinis anthithesis, but that definitely wouldn’t be de Crinis.

To make this ship work, there are exactly two possibilities: Give up all of de Crinis’ character - or roll with him being the evil bastard that he is and that we are shown he is, and give up all of Anni’s character. That’s it. Just... don’t act like there’s canonically anything good about de Crinis.

Same goes for the Anni/Christel ship, btw. “Everything is the same, but Christel is not in love with Otto but with Anni”. That... means nothing is the same. It means everything changes thoroughly. Christel was always the only real threat for Otto and Martin - if she isn’t, there’s not much for them to fear in their own ranks. They’re careful; they wouldn’t have been found out without a denunciation. Means, they don’t get arrested, Otto doesn’t have to save Martin, Otto goes out to war, Otto dies before the war is over because those last months of battling were desperate and ugly (even more so than the earlier, I mean). So, we’d get a new gay at the cost of killing another? Eh. A Nazi accepting homosexuality, coming to terms with herself as an adversary of her own creeds and abandoning Nazi ideology to Do The Right Thing is not “missing dramatic content”, either. It’s Anni’s arc. And it’s a character arc that Christel, with the way she’s written, with “too much compassion is a sign of weakness”, is not capable of.

The scenario doesn’t only include Christel accepting herself as a lesbian; it also includes her helping Anni with Karin. Which brings us back to the same problem as with de Crinis: She’d have to abandon everything she’s convinced of. Accept the value of all human life. And I think her definition of a “worthy life” is even narrower than that of de Crinis; that’s why he recruits her in the first place: Because Christel is a very passionate Nazi. Much more so than de Crinis. She has a backbone, he’s an opportunistic chickenshit. He takes flight. She fights. To the very last second, she clings to her idea of the Nazi realm. When she breaks down, it isn’t for realizing that what she believes in is wrong; it is because what she believes in is lost. That’s one of the things that make me be more shaken with her than with de Crinis, even more in awe of Frida-Lovisa Hamann than of Lukas Miko: Christel never knows that she’s in the wrong. Like Anni, she’s young enough to have been raised unaware, and different than Anni, she very decidedly declines the chance to break out of this. If she’d been brought to court for her deeds, she wouldn’t have been able to defend herself, and she wouldn’t have denied anything, because in her worldview, she never did anything wrong. Realizing that would be, again, an extremely painful process and, again, it wouldn’t leave anything of her character. Why would she go on a date with Otto and propose to him? Why would she tattle on little Emil? On Hans von Dohnanyi? On Martin? Why would she be in conflict with the Sauerbruchs? Why would she lead Volkssturm kids into the hospital if she wants to protect Anni? Why are there any conflicts at all instead of all of the Charité staff being morally upright and good and a united front against the Nazis?

They aren’t. There’s a story being told, and if they’d change out these chilling, well-written antagonists for lukewarm knock-off protagonists, they’d have to make up new antagonists to make any of the story work. It’s a historical series, dealing with living amidst Nazis; inside this framework, the characters won’t function as theirselves if their core values are flipped.

Conclusion? There’s only one legit ship in there, and it’s de Crinis/Christel. I can totally see that; it’d leave both their characters intact. He could rush back to tragically die by her side - BAM, there you’ve got your Nazi-apologetic drama. Or make it Magda Goebbels/Christel, if one wants to go for psycho lesbians. Personally, I don’t care much for finding a happy end for obvious Nazis that were written as Nazis and have absolutely nothing that would turn them away from being Nazis. And I don’t see Anni being either’s romantic partner. Why on earth would she want to? Isn’t Artur punishment enough?

[cosmicjoke]

Well, I finally reached chapters 79 and 80 of AoT, and really, what can I say that hasn’t already been said?  I’ve posted a lot about this already, so I only have a few observations here to make.  Obviously, this is a hugely meaningful and important moment, really THE most meaningful and important moment between Levi and Erwin in the whole series.  

What got me during this entire exchange was how, for the first time, we really see Erwin allowing himself to be vulnerable, to be human in front of another person, and of course, that person would be Levi, his most trusted and loyal friend.  And, of course, the look of pained grief and compassion on Levi’s face while Erwin makes his confession about his guilt, and how the dream he shared with his father was the only thing that had kept him going this entire time.  This really is Levi’s defining trait, above even his incredible strength as a soldier.  It is the strength of his compassion.  Others have said, but it bears repeating, that what Levi does for Erwin in this moment is really the epitome of kindness and understanding, to make the choice for him to give up on his dream and die for the rest of them, to give Erwin that chance at redemption.  He sees the weight of Erwin’s guilt crushing him into oblivion, and as much as it tears Levi apart to take that responsibility onto himself, to make the choice for Erwin to die, he does it anyway, for Erwin’s sake, and for the sake of humanity.  The panel when Levi says “I’m making the choice”, you can really see how difficult this is for him.  How much it hurts, for him to do this, to let Erwin and all the other recruits die.  But Levi’s kindness lies in how he takes that choice away from Erwin, relieves him of having to make the call himself, and bears the responsibility of it on his own.  He gives Erwin an out, and lets him die a hero.

When Erwin asks “Is it all nothing more than my own childish delusion?”, he looks up at Levi, as if he’s asking Levi the question himself.  Like he’s asking Levi if all the lives under Erwin’s command, if all the lives he’s sacrificed, were for nothing more than his own, selfish dream?  And Levi looks at him with so much pained understanding.  Again, there’s so much COMPASSION in Levi’s face in this panel.  There’s no judgment, no disgust, no anger.  Just grief for the pain his friend is in.  And then Levi drops to his knee, pledging his loyalty to Erwin one last time, telling him he’s fought a good fight, and giving him full credit for all of them coming as far as they have only because of him, letting Erwin know his own gratitude for the sacrifices Erwin’s made.  Like he’s telling Erwin that it hasn’t all been for a childish delusion, but that Erwin’s choices, no matter the driving reason behind them, had advanced the cause of humanity in a way no one else would have been able to accomplish.  Levi’s letting Erwin know here that his actions weren’t in vain, that the lives he sacrificed weren’t only in the service of his childhood dream, but had real, tangible results in helping humanity.  And then he takes the weight of the responsibility onto himself, freeing Erwin from the possibility of him succumbing once more to his selfish goals, and giving him redemption in the process, leaving it as Erwin’s only choice, to become the commander everyone had always believed him to be, including Levi himself.  

Still, we see the toll this choice has on Levi in all of the following panels.  When Erwin reveals the plan to the recruits, and Levi can only stare vacantly at the ground, a look of grief on his face.  To let all of these people die, in order to save a few, even as it’s the only option left to them, goes against everything Levi believes in.  We see this also when Levi is making his way towards the Beast Titan, and he looks over at the charging recruits, and the look of grief and horror on his face is all the more pronounced.  And in the way he says “I’m sorry”.   This goes against every instinct he has, to protect others, to help others.  Having to watch one of his best friends, and a group of kids charge to their deaths, to give him the opening he needs to kill the Beast Titan, has to be one of the hardest things Levi’s ever had to do, I imagine.  To LET that happen, for him, would be torture.  But he does it anyway, because if he doesn’t, then everyone there that day is going to die. 

All of this unfolding following the start of chapter 79 really drives home the tragedy of it as well.  Levi is impatient and desperate to get onto the other side of the wall to see what’s going on there, wondering about Hange and all the others.  He’s clearly fearful that they’ve been caught in the explosion, but holding out hope that they made it out of the blast range in time.  He thinks, in any case, he need to get over there soon.  Levi NEEDS to help.  That’s what drives him.  He can’t just stand by and watch as others get hurt or killed, or suffer.  We see this part of him too when the Beast Titan starts throwing rocks, and we see Levi’s reaction to the Scouts who’ve been hit, the horrified disbelief, before he frantically goes to the recruits with the horses and starts trying to herd them toward the wall, hoping to get them onto the other side to save their lives.  Levi’s still thinking their lives CAN be saved, and that’s his goal here, before Erwin comes down and informs him of just how bad the situation really is.  This really is Levi’s motivation.  His only real motivation.  To helps others, to save others.  It’s why he’s so exhausted at the start of this chapter, because even though we don’t see it in panel, we know from Levi’s spent state, from what that one Scout says, telling him to “wait here and rest”, that Levi’s exhausted himself taking out as many smaller Titans as he can, taking as much of the danger onto himself as he can to spare these inexperienced recruits.  Taking all of this into account, it makes Levi’s choice to let Erwin lead all of them to their deaths, to give him an opening on the Beast Titan, all the more meaningful.  This was HARD for Levi.  Like I said, probably the hardest choice he’s ever had to make.  That in turn has major ramifications on him later, and I think is the reason he becomes so fixated on killing Zeke.  Because Levi made the choice to let all of these people, whom he’d just been trying to save, sacrifice themselves in order to allow him to kill the Beast Titan.  He went against every instinct he has, against his very nature, in order to accomplish this one goal.  And to have failed then, to have failed to accomplish it, all while knowing he made the call, for Levi, would be unbearable.  Erwin’s final speech to the recruits also factors in hugely, because of what he tells them about their lives having meaning, how the meaning of their lives become the responsibility of those still left alive.  Levi is standing right beside him as he gives this speech, and having the burden of their lives already on his shoulders, Erwin’s words can only reinforce that feeling, that belief.  That it’s Levi’s responsibility to give meaning to the lives these people are about to give.  To make sure they neither lived, nor died, in vain.  How anyone can read these panels and not understand that Levi’s need to kill Zeke was never about revenge is beyond me.  It’s crystal clear what it’s about.  Exactly what Erwin says it’s about.  To give meaning to the sacrifice all of these soldiers made that day.  That’s Levi’s burden to bear, that’s Levi’s promise to all of them, his vow.  To make it so they weren’t born for no reason.  To make it so their lives mattered. 

Also, I hate Zeke.  Ugh.  He’s just such a bastard. 

Also, also, I wanted to point out in the panels when Erwin is saying that Levi is right that they’re most likely all going to die, and so their only choice it to assume they’re all expendable and work from there, the look on Levi’s face as he looks over at the recruits says so much.  He looks absolutely devastated.  Erwin’s telling him they all have to die in order for them to have any chance at victory that day, and that realization for Levi is clearly the most terrible thing for him.  To have to willingly send these terrified kids to their deaths, because it’s their only chance to keep the fight alive.  It’s so sad.

[british-bombs]

( TO BEAT THE DEVIL ) An introduction.

FORMAT: teleplay / novel

GENRE: horror, coming of age

LOGLINE: An interning demon drives a pair of twins cursed with obedience and honesty to kill their cult leader.

THEMES: Trauma, sexual abuse, domestic violence, victim blaming (particularly self blame), peer pressure, redemption, internalized homophobia, and religion.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Sexual abuse, violence, domestic and otherwise, manipulation, and death

EXTENDED SUMMARY, CHARACTERS, EXCERPT AND NOTES:

Carmine can taste it. They're hiding something. Humans have such a silly smell about them, turns an overwhelming shade of sweet when they've made a demonic deal. All four of these children have. He just can't figure out what, and more importantly: why.

It keeps him on the surface longer than he should be. Long enough that Lilith sees it fit to send him a fucking trainee? And if that wasn't insult enough, the trainees one of the eternal teenage know-it-alls.

He's already got four annoying toddlers to trail, and now there's one tugging his hand in the new generation's approach to soul-catching like Carmine isn't one of the best employees they've had since the turn of the century.

And somehow, to make it all worse, the trainee is good at it. And if Carmine wants to keep his spot at the top of the food chain, he's going to have to get the soul of that dumb bitch who's running the joint.

But, of course, the kid gets him murdered??? And then has the nerve to figure out how what those toddlers managed to stick their syrupy, grubby little hands in. What gives?

But two can play at that game. If he can't get the dead guy's, then he can have the next best thing.

Jesse has lived just under seventeen years, but he's ready to check out. Or he was. But of course, some selfish bastard had to come along and say you can't ever act on those thoughts again! Don't think like that!

And then the hole kept getting deeper.

Six feet deep, to be exact. He's got blood on his hands and no matter how fucking good it felt to cut off the air supply to the God who stole his innocence, it's probably not going to feel very good to watch his mom suffer through a highly publicized trial with headlines like CHILD MURDERS HIGH PROFILE BENEFACTOR!!!

Oh. Well. Billy did say if he really got in that deep, he could always strike up a deal. His soul, everything wrapped up in a nice little bow, sweet as Easter Sunday. But until then? Yeah, he's content to live in a stupid fucking Sherlock Holmes novel.

CHARACTERS:

JESSE NIX: A soon-to-be seventeen-year-old saddled with the curse of obedience. Unlike miss-lucky-Ella-Enchanted, he wasn't told to give away his mommy's locket. No-siree. He was told to give away his virginity. In his opinion, the only appropriate payback is a life. Maybe, one day, if he really snaps, he'll dig up Pastor Dallin's corpse and chop his dick off. Really stick it to the man. If he doesn't go to prison first, anyway. (spotify playlist)

NANCY NIX: Also a soon-to-be-seventeen-year-old, though saddled with the curse of honesty. It's really not so bad. That is, until she stumbles across the sight of her dearest little brother covered in blood for no reason he can push through his metal braces. She refuses to believe he did it on purpose. If only she could convince the cops without sounding like a nutjob. (spotify playlist)

BEVERLY PINES: A seventeen-year-old cursed to feel the pain of those around her. It makes for some fun family dinners with a sadistic mom and a missing dad. Distance nulls pain, but she can't ever seem to make it past state lines before her mom gets wise and breaks one of her ribs. Oh, well. She's got a bone to pick with psychos like her mom. Apparently, Pastor Dallin was one of them. She doesn't think she could stomach the pain of killing someone, so next best thing, right? (spotify playlist)

CLARICE ANDERMANN: Also a seventeen-year-old cursed to be constantly in motion. It's honestly not that bad. She's Yale bound! Perks of having endless energy for everything to cheerleading to debate contests, though she can't imagine her heart's going to keep up like this. It's already hanging on by a thread. That thread is named Beverly Pines and like hell she's letting it go to prison for nothing. (spotify playlist)

BILLY: An annoying fuck trapped in a seventeen-year-old's body. No curses. The opposite, in fact - blessed with a silver tongue and a keen sense of deduction. It takes him all of two hours to put together (almost) everything about Jesse Nix. He just didn't think he could push the repressed little fuck to murder that quick. (All the more power to him, though. Prison always makes people desperate and paranoid, AKA: an easy mark.) (spotify playlist)

MAVIS EVANGELISTA: Former housewife turned grieving widow turned revered prophet. If she got a little help from someone downstairs, then who's to know? They love her all the same. Now, she really, really wants to see how far she can push them all. (spotify playlist)

CARMINE: Just a helpful guy, passing through. Really doesn't need anything, just a little pledge, is all! And then? Then, you can have everything you want, fame, money, power, love. The sky is your limit. The water's fine! (Ignore the piranhas, they'll wait till you're dead to eat your face, just a little bit.) (spotify playlist)

NOTES:

- all of these characters have equal importance within the story.

- personal tag system for story stuff is '#tbtd' and character tags are just first name (ex: '#jesse')

- this is kind of really fucked up. the only reason i wrote it was cause i was thinking damn ella enchanted really is NOT fucked up enough. like i don't think the author of ella enchanted went dark enough. a locket? that's it? a bitch move. i'm taking it to straight murder and sexual abuse

- jesse transgender, no character straight except evil people

- i'm not entirely sure how tag lists work but i think i get the gist of them?? idk if you want rb or ask or something </3

EXCERPT:

There were moments, where she was reminded just how different this voice was, how violent.

She had found Lynette, making off with her makeup that she’d spent her own allowance on. Mavis doted on her and, from what she’d seen of other families, everyone else looked upon their little siblings with contempt, despising the burden they dragged along with their existence.

But Mavis adored Lyn. When she'd been born, her mother had come home with a tiny thing bundled in pink fleece. Mavis had taken to Lyn on sight, thinking Lynette’s headband adorned with a baby blue bow was the universe’s way of telling her happy birthday! as reparations for the ones her mother had missed while she was enduring her week long stay at the hospital.

But that mindset was a disease, one that had finally caught up with her. Had Lynette not become her burden? She was nineteen, busting her back day and night so Lynette wouldn’t have to, that she might avoid the life that Mavis had lived in those blissful six years where it was her and her alone.

Had her mother not tampered down her birthday celebrations since Lynette’s was so very close and they couldn’t afford double anyway? Had Lynette not deprived her of the teenage experiences she heard her classmates speak of, going out and tasting alcohol for the first time while Mavis followed a ten year old Lynette house to house so she could complain of a stomach ache after she’d devoured all the candy on the walk back home?

And now this! Stealing her few precious items, the few things she bothered to save up for, few things she bothered to keep hidden. For what? It wasn’t as though she was ever going to have the courage to ask a peer of her’s out. She was a thief.

One Mavis had made the mistake of taking care of. She should’ve embraced those stirrings of resentment, should’ve left Lynette to her own devices since Lynette didn’t appreciate anything, or even half of what Mavis afforded her. She should’ve left her out in the cold that Christmas. How could anyone have known? It wasn’t as though corpses could talk--

She had let Lyn take off with the whole case, as if to remind herself when she woke up the next morning what she had considered, how vile the thought was.

Lyn had never done anything unforgivable to Mavis. Mavis didn’t suppose she ever could. It was no fault of Lyn’s she didn’t understand what it was like to live with their father. How could she? It was a topic off limits to Lyn by both Mavis and their mother. After all, a child born blind doesn’t know until it’s pointed out to them.

And yet, she found guilt hard to summon. She did, but the speed at which it came, the strength, made her uneasy. What had happened to the girl she was? Lyn had been her world. What had changed?

Then, dully, that other voice, entirely of its own volition, said You did.

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

So ok, i was hoping if you could do a compainions react to a trans male sole losing a fight with some transphobic (+ homophobic for male companions) raiders?

(I hope you enjoyed!!)

Let me just start by saying this, the companions will absolutely do their best to fuck their shit up regardless- you’re their friend, in some of their cases, the only friend they truly trust.

—-

Things were going so smoothly.

As per usual, a typical walk down the eastern coast of Boston resulted in stumbling upon some less than savory characters- but that hadn’t been an issue before. Once the two of you had finally stumbled upon mentioned characters, you gave each other a knowing look before engaging in combat.

One thing led to another and somehow they got separated from you, the realization of such causing their breath to hitch- worried eyes scanning all around in hopes of finding you. However they not had to look for very long-

“Yeah that’s it! Fucking tranny, cowering like the little bitch you are.” Somehow, someway..this person got the jump on you. What was to be an easy shot to their head quickly went awry whenever they struck your hand with their tire iron, proceeding to heat you back until your leg swayed from beneath you- your body succumbing to the sheer pain of a few broken bones.

That’s probably why your heart beat several pumps a minute, having had to force yourself backed into a crate wall in attempt to escape.

“Heh, shame. You’re actually kind of cute, for a dude with a pussy, at least.” The sickeningly spat, their fingers fidgeting as they readjusted the grip on their weapon- raising it, about to swing...until-

<Special!>

Dogmeat:

As though it wasn’t bad enough that the person his precious sole was fighting with was being aggressive, they were also saying these weird things too? Oh hell no. As soon aa the German Shepherd got a good shot, he’d leap above your trembling form and a silently wreck shop on their ass. Teeth to tits.

~~~~

Cait:

“Hey you fucking cunt, hope you like swallowing teeth!”

She wouldn’t even hesitate to use her own fists. It would probably hurt her too, but she didn’t care. True to her words, she’d make them suffer- busting their nose and knocking their teeth out before finally settling for gouging their eyes.

Curie:

“You say very mean things, at least you won’t be able to anymore...”

Being so dainty and lithe definitely had its perks. While that asshat was spewing their venomous monologue, she was able to sneak up behind them- plunging a syringe full of poison into their jugular.

How could they be so mean to you?

Danse:

“That’s quite enough.”

Danse usually wouldn’t ever resort to using such..brutal measures. However between feeling the sting of their words and seeing how they were able to beat you so badly....Danse grabbed ahold of their head and simply lifted up. The strength of his power armour suit allowing him to successfully “pop” it off.

Deacon:

“Sucks for them.”

Deacon would use their talking as an opportunity. Sneaking up behind them, he’d plunge his knife right into their back- twisting it for good measure as they screamed in agony. It was a bit underhanded, but shit, it worked.

As soon as he was able to get you to medical help, he’d be there to try to make you feel better about the ridiculous things that person said.

Gage:

“Dumbass, didn’t even know who he was talking too. Oh well, come on boss..let’s go get ourselves cleaned up.”

He. Would. Not. Hesitate. To. Blow. Their. Fucking. Head. Off.

Hancock:

“You, oh you’re coming with me..”

Having chems on hand usually meant Hancock was always ready for a good time..however right now it meant he was stocked up to perform a quick little “kidnapping”. Once he gage you a stimpack and was sure you’d be alright, he’d option for the two of you to go to Goodneighbor- dragging the insufferable, unconscious dickhead with you the entire way.

Once there, it was all a matter of waiting. Who knows? Maybe they’ll be missing a tongue, or a toe when they wake up. Either way, it’ll be a fun experience.

Macready:

“What a buttface..”

They didn’t know it, but it was a horrible decision to turn your back on a sniper. Mere seconds went by before Mac’s bullet flew through their skull, painting you in the viscera of their demise. A little bit afterwards, Mac would come strolling along with his trusty rifle at side. Then he’d kneel down in front of you, a small smile on his face when you thanked him.

Maxson:

“You’re in no position to say such disrespectful things..Mercy isn’t something I usually consider, but for you- it’s entirely out of the question.”

Arthur almost never got involved with the commonwealth missions, but this time he was glad he had.

As they were saying their indecent words, he grabbed the hand they intended to wing with- pulling it back and twisting it around their back, pulling one good time causing them to yell out in pain. Just when they were going to swing toward him, they were promptly met with the business end of his combat knife- slicing into their forehead from the force of which they turned.

Nick:

“Some people just have no redemption..Do they?”

The old detective would merely cast his gaze at their now twitching corpse, having shoot them point blank in the back of their head. He’d just scoff, kicking their body aside as he tentatively looked you over- deciding the next best course of action was to jab a stimpack in you.

Old Longfellow:

“Dontcha dare listen to them kiddo, son of a bitch probably didn’t have a piece of brain left anyway- now let’s go get you patched up.”

It took only five point two seconds for him to choke the unsuspecting raider, having pulled back their tire iron and thrusted it against their throat, holding it their until they no longer breathed. Once done with his rather violent display, he simply shrugged and offered you his hand.

Piper:

“Wow, what a dick..”

She’d have no words! None. She’s seen some terrible people, but boy, the world just never ceases to supply a worse bunch, does it? Regardless of her eternal thoughts, she’d just shake her head before shooting them in their ass, then their face when they turned around.

Preston:

“Hmph, as if being a raider wasn’t already a shitty enough life decision..”

Their words would enrage him to no return. This ended up resulting in him bashing the butt of his laser musket against their head until they no longer moved. They had no right to cast down such terrible judgement. No one does.

Skinny Malone:

“Don’t worry now, bastard got what was coming to ‘im.”

Yours crazy if don’t think wherever Skinny goes, his gang is close behind. At the very first sign of trouble, they came out of their shadowing spots and unleashed hell in the form of several rounds of ammunition. When all was said in done, the asshole that spoke such means words to you closely resembled Swiss cheese. After the whole ordeal, Skinny would take you back to his headquarters and let you drink to your hearts content- reassuring you that you shouldn’t let people like that make you feel any less of your self.

Sturges:

“Listen, I know you raider kind aren’t the smartest but..that’s just stupid. Even for your standards I presume.”

Truthfully..he was scared as hell going up against the raiders but! He owed it to you. So he rolled up his sleeves and stormed right in up to the bastard looking over you, hitting them upside the head with an old wooden board he thankfully found.

X6-88:

“Let’s go..I believe we’re both entitled to drink after this.”

He made quick, precise work of the perpetrator. Gone and done before your eyes could even process it. Had he not been right in front of you, offering you his hand, likely wouldn’t have even thought he had killed them at all- instead perhaps thinking it was some invisible force instead.

[catsnuggler]

I don't think it's wrong to want revenge. If anything, it speaks to a sense of personal commitment, at least an emotional one, to the pursuit of some form of justice, to redress an injustice one suffered, which others may also have fallen victim to.

Pursuing revenge, however, is something I oppose. Violent resistance to tyranny, to be sure, is something I support. But to cause suffering which is unnecessary to the pursuit of the abolition of oppression, and the buildup of a revolutionary society, simply for the illusory hope of achieving catharsis... I understand the desire. Believe me, I do. I was raised in a right-wing cult, I've been emotionally abused, I've been physically abused, and even my mother's death I ultimately blame the capitalist system for. But it isn't right. It won't erase the pain you've suffered.

Besides, as I just said, I was raised in a right-wing cult. You may notice I don't exactly sing the praises of nationalism today. This is in contradiction to both the cult and the nation that I was raised in. If I could be raised, from birth, in a cult that at least one side of my family has been in for generations, and related, however distantly, to prominent, powerful members of said cult, yet come to reject it and turn to anarchist communism, can't even bastards change, then? I, for one, would be a hypocrite to deny others a chance at redemption.

[mercyandmagic]

Hi, mercyandmagic thank you for answering my asks... :D

Don't know if you remember, but I've asked before of your top 5 fav mxtx characters, and you've answered yours. If you don't mind me asking, can I ask you, why you like those characters (in a longer asnwer)? Sorry, if I ask you similar question again......

Yessss. This gonna be long. We’ll start from 5th and work our way to #1. 

5. Wei Wuxian

First, there’s just something incredibly refreshing about an untamed (ahem) character who says the thing everyone thinks but won’t dare say. It is my second-favorite character trope (We’ll get to the first). Plus, he has a great sense of justice and a self-sacrificing spirit... and yet he is capable of great cruelty, sadism, and hurting others to vent his pain (Nightless City, Wen Chao). Believe it or not, the fact that he has done great evil he cannot undo makes me love him more... because he knows it.  

In Chapter 68, when he’s confronted, he doesn’t deny killing Fang Mengchen’s parents, nor taking Yi Weichun’s leg. He doesn’t show anger at their valid pain; he merely points out that nothing he can do now will undo the damage he caused. 

He also has a low tolerance for BS and a high level of empathy. The fact that he scoffs at the cultivators gossiping against Jin Guangyao, the fact that he isn’t happy they have a new scapegoat, speaks a lot. Plus, he can easily understand why the Hook Hand’s final victim needs to scream (Ch. 124), why Jin Guangyao spared Sisi (Ch. 111) and made the Guanyin Temple (Ch. 110), why Nie Huaisang doesn’t want to admit what he did (Ch. 110), etc. Wei Wuxian is just great.

4. Qin Su

She deserves far more appreciation than she gets. She was involved in the Sunshot Campaign. When society judged Jin Guangyao and Meng Shi for their status, Qin Su never did. She loved the man who saved her life. She was willful enough to be the pursuer in her relationship with Jin Guangyao (Ch. 47), and was open to sleeping with him to ascertain their marriage (Ch. 106). She’s naive and trusting, despite losing her son. She’s loyal AF even to Bicao, even though Bicao literally sold her out for jewelry (ahem, Ch. 85). 

Qin Su. only has a short side role in the larger novel, but she’s a fully developed human.  That’s incredible.

3. Lan Wangji

I relate to Lan Wangji more than any of the other characters. Not being able to communicate, or being afraid to – relatable. Plus, having grown up fundamentalist Christian, I find the way in which Lan Wangji’s stubborn rule-following gives way to a willingness to break the rules when it does no harm or helps those he loves... inspiring. Like, he goes from having himself beaten for being pulled outside the Cloud Recesses (something this scrupulosity-sufferer relates to very well) to giving Wei Wuxian the Emperor’s Smile hidden in the Jingshi (Ch. 65).  

If I may add, I read MDZS around the same time I watched GOT Season 8. There’s a similarity in how Wei Wuxian and Daenerys Targaryen have murderous breakdowns after losing everything and everyone close to them. And yet instead of putting Wei Wuxian down like a dog (side eyes Jon Snow), Lan Wangji takes him away, tries to save him, still believes he is capable of good. In his own words, he’s “willing to bear all of the consequences with [Wei Wuxian].” Lan Wangji believes in redemption, in chance after chance. He’s refreshing in a world that believes one deed can stain you forever. I love him.

2. Lan Xichen

He’s just... good? Like, really good? He has to balance leading a clan with a society that is very Not Good, and this definitely leads to some gray points (The Wens, saying nothing in support of Mianmian, etc). But he, like Qin Su, refuses to judge people for origins. He always has to see the good in others – as Ch. 105 says, “whenever he heard there might be hidden reasons, he just had to hear it.” Lan Xichen wants to know and sympathize with everyone’s reasons. That’s just... wonderful. 

It’s notable that his whereabouts for the First Siege of the Burial Mounds are unknown. Lan Qiren led the Gusu Lan Clan, not Lan Xichen (Ch. 68). Which makes me speculate that while he thought Wei Wuxian was done for, he couldn’t bear to participate in killing the man his brother loved.   

He’s a touch avoidant, as seen when he tells Wei Wuxian he does not want to know why his mother killed his father’s teacher (Ch. 64). (I will also defend him agains the charges that he was wrong to try to reconcile Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao – they were his friends and Lan Xichen believed in them. Those two made their own choices, and it was Not Lan Xichen’s Fault). 

Anyhow, he’s good. And he loves Jin Guangyao. I know MXTX said she did not write a romance with them, and I don’t think they ever would have cheated on Qin Su. But that does not diminish that Lan Xichen’s seclusion at the end of the novel, is described as “exactly reversed” from when Lan Wangji was mourning Wei Wuxian (Ch. 114).  

1. Jin Guangyao

My favorite character. trope, the sneaky bastard with daddy issues! What makes Jin Guangyao stand out even among all my favorite sneaky bastards is that... his actions are so very gray that IMO he’s not even really a villain.

For real, what did Jin Guangyao do? Kill his brother who tried to kill him first and was slowly losing his grip on reality and hurting him and Nie Huaisang anyways? (Ch. 49, 50) It was still wrong – and I firmly believe that the motivation was payback for ‘son of a prostitute,’  (as Wei Wuxian suggests, Ch. 104) and not safety – but my point remains. (Plus there’s the implication that Jin Guangshan willed it, too). (Ch. 106).

Married his lover after discovering she was his sister to keep her from being an unwed mother? (Ch. 106) In that situation, I wish he had told Qin Su so she could choose, too, but I fail to find anything condemnable in Jin Guangyao’s actions there. 

Furthermore, when writing “Sentiment” and now “Sunlit Jade,” what I’ve been struck by is that most of his misdeeds end with killing Jin Guangshan. 

The possible exception is Jin Rusong (and since our main source for the idea of cold-blooded filicide and framing of an innocent clan leader is Clan Leader Yao, I am highly skeptical). And Xue Yang remaining alive, but again, we don’t know if Jin Guangyao chose to let him go with a warning/beating severe enough to disable his leg, or if Jin Guangyao truly meant to kill him (I favor the former position, but it’s open for interpretation).

Now, how Jin Guangyao kills and the fact that he does kill his father is wrong. Burning the brothel? Wrong, though I understand his hatred of that place and the people there. Killing the He Clan? Wrong, but 1) it’s on his father’s orders, and 2) he has a rather intriguing reaction when Xue Yang shuts He Su in alive with the corpses. (Ch. 118). 

He looks for something to “comfort” himself. 

This is strange, because he’s previously been a torturer (Ch. 47). What is more torture to him? 

I don’t know the answer, but it speaks to someone who suffers a lot, who did a lot of terrible things in pursuit of a love from his father that never came. And someone who, once he gains power in the position of Chief Cultivator, implements a program to save more commoners’ lives than ever before (Ch. 42).

That’s not the action of a villain.

[Sidenote, and based off a comment that wryhun on AO3 once left me: What I love the most about Jin Guangyao, and MDZS as a whole, is depending on the perspective you take, anyone can be an antagonist or a protagonist.

Jiang Cheng can be Wei Wuxian’s tsundere shidi (reader perspective), or he can be the serial killer of demonic cultivators who refuses to help commoners with spirits unless people have already died (Innkeeper’s perspective, Ch. 92).

Nie Huaisang can be the avenging didi (often a fan’s perspective), or the person who treated the juniors like fodder, killed cats, and sliced up a woman’s body just for revenge (Wei Wuxian’s perspective in Ch. 110, Jin Guangyao’s perspective in Ch. 108).]  

Jin Guangyao is an antagonist because his goals conflict with Wei Wuxian’s. But he’s really no worse than many of the other characters, and in fact, while all have suffered, he’s arguably suffered some of the worst circumstances of all. 

He makes poor choices, although he insists he doesn’t have a choice. I believe that he believes he has no choice... but he does. And that is so very, very tragic. 

I love him and want the world (or really just Lan Xichen) for him.