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bakugoushotwife · 11 months

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kinktober day twenty-seven: car sex

>>> no one will read these anyway based off of the reception for nobara, but i wanted to give the ladies some love this time around <3

>>> starring: maki zen'in x curvy!f!reader >>> cw: jealousy, homophobia w the zen'ins, making my own cannon, oral and fingering, car sex, semi-exhibitionism? i don't think so but just in case >>> wc: 1.8k >>> event masterlist:

formal events were the bane of her existence. she hated all the ritualistic steps of looking presentable for a clan celebration, of all things. maki has never been celebrated amongst her clan and she knows they won’t start anytime soon—so why did she have to show up and celebrate them? even worse, why did she have to drag her girlfriend to such an event? she knows half the elders will spend their time whispering about either her supposed powerlessness or her lesbianism, and the other half would be thinking about it all night long. she hated having to subject you to such nonsense, but her mother insisted–and she knew she’d never hear the end of it from her if she didn’t just suck it up and go.

so here the two of you are, shoved into the zen’in family banquet hall in a tight fit. maki was absolutely uncomfortable, forced to mingle with people she can’t stand while trying to keep a possessive hold on you. despite the controversial relationship, she wouldn’t let it be lost on anyone. you weren’t here as a plus one or just a friend, you were here as maki’s partner and she wasn’t shy about it. they hate her already, she couldn’t give less of a fuck. her anger will make her the perfect protector too, she won’t allow them to say anything offbeat to you or their reckoning may come early.

she also hated formal wear. it was impractical and stuffy, and she didn’t like being painted up to the nines, either. at least you looked amazing. you might be enough to make her rethink all her earlier opinions. seeing you tucked into a gorgeous kimono was definitely a lifeline to get her through the night—naobito’s birthday celebrations could perhaps pass harmlessly by with nothing more than the memories of how good you look. the silk highlights your body for days, tight around your chest and flowing down your legs. whereas maki feels completely out of place with rouge and lipstick on he skin, somehow it makes you look even more elegant and graceful. you’re flawless, evidence that maki is indeed good enough to deserve happiness. she keeps your hand in hers for the better part of the evening, fake smiling to some clan members while she keeps her scowl for others, you couldn’t quite find a rhyme or reason to her reactions. it isn’t until she’s pulled away by her sister that you’re able to understand.

of course you were familiar with the atrocities of the zen’in, and it made you more than just a little uncomfortable to be surrounded by them, but with maki by your side, you knew that no harm would possibly come to you. but with her gone, well. now you’re left wide open.

they don’t waste any time, a wall of zen’in has formed around you with various men bidding for your attention by offering you drinks and compliments, swearing that a zen’in man could give you a much better time than any woman—but especially one as weak and powerless as maki. their sentiment makes you snarl, but you don’t know how far maki is—meaning you don’t know how crude you can be with all these disgustingly vile creatures.

“weak? naobito’s birthday or no—we can test that theory.” her sharp voice cuts through the cacophony of others. the men are quieted instantly, and you feel yourself smirk. they start rattling off excuses as to why there should be no fighting here tonight—but you hear the real reason: they’re afraid.

maki has always been far more powerful than they deign to acknowledge. she’s a talented fighter, and you knew most of these old fuckers would be dead to rights if she really wanted to cause a scene. her presence is scary enough, brows set with a menacing look in her eye. she stares above their heads, making eye contact with you.

“come. i think it’s time we left, dear.” she extends her hand for you to take, holding the stare of the disgusting old men that came to hit on her girlfriend the moment she stepped away. you skip forward to take her hand, almost giddy at her demeanor as she squeezes your palm in hers. you knew that she was pissed. she was mad when she woke up this morning and remembered this stupid fucking party was today, but now she’s irate. everything she thought would happen, did, and she didn’t feel like subjecting you to any more ogling eyes. she starts to drag you both towards the door, hoping that the hour and a half she had managed to occupy the same space as her family would please her mother enough. not that she quite cared anyway, hearing your little giggles of excitement told her that you knew exactly how she would remedy her bad mood.

maki has a track record of jealousy, and you knew this time was no exception. this time may be the worst of them all, your girlfriend’s grip on your hand tightening as the driver brings the car around. her mind was racing with the harassments from the crowd, different cousins and uncles offering to show her girlfriend a good time after the party. tch, she didn’t have to wait. she would have you now, the windows of the car are tinted anyway. she opens the backseat of the spacious suv, jutting her chin out to the backseat.

your feel your face heat up as you obey her, crawling into the back on your hands and knees. maki turns to give the chauffeur a tip, patting his knowing shoulder. she doesn’t much care if people know what she’s about to do to you in this car. in fact, she hopes rumors spread about it. the windows being tinted was all she cared about—no one would get to see her pretty little girlfriend’s faces of pleasure but her. she steps into the car after you and pulls the door closed behind her. she’s thankful for the air conditioning and radio humming lowly in the background, your noses pressed together for a brief moment as she adjusts your seat, pushing you back and ensuring she has enough space in the floorboard.

you giggle a little, parting your thighs to give her room to sit between. she slinks between them easily, resting her hands on your knees as she peers over her lenses. you lick your lips in anticipation, seeing that anger in her eyes.

“worked up, babe?” you tease just a little, resting your hand on her head. she raises a brow at you, quietly warning you to watch your attitude. you grin a little, knowing you could push her to her limits after the night that you’ve had—but you’d be the one to reap the consequences. so you lean back against the seat a bit, easing your cunt closer. she looks down at your middle at the movement, but she nods.

“yeah. i’m a bit worked up.” she groans, bunching your silken skirt up by your thighs. her mouth salivates the closer she leans to the apex of your thighs. she catches your scent, grinning at the arousal already leaking down your legs. “they’re all just dying for a chance at you, hm?”

you roll your eyes with a satisfied little grin, shaking your head at her. you pull your skirt up some more for her, but you know not to worry about anything further or you’ll further irritate your already ticked off and overzealous girlfriend. “just too scared of you to come around.” you decide to stroke her ego instead.

she scoffs a little, amusement sparkling in the vast darkness of her emerald eyes. her fingers stroke over the center of your panties, and she hums approvingly at the dampness she can feel beneath. her lips tilt into a smirk, “and you like that?”

“i love that.” you purr, scratching her scalp a little bit. she smiles softly and pushes the flimsy fabric keeping your cunt from her to the side. she gives you a breathy chuckle, watching the strings of your arousal stick to your panties as she peels them away, she’s enamored.

“and i love that sloppy pussy, pretty girl.” she whispers, letting her fingers spread your lips apart. you take your lip in between your teeth in anticipation. she lets her slender thumb drag figure eights along your clit, face focused on your hardening tits and shifting face. you’ve always been so sensitive, it’s one of maki’s favorite things about you—how you jerk into her hand as she’s barely touched you, little moans coming from your pursed lips as the sounds of tires squealing outside overtake the music in the car. maki grins—you’re holding up the line, leaving the other zen’in’s no choice but to pull around maki’s signature suv. she chuckles a bit as she leans in, attaching her pink lips to yours, letting her fingers work their magic over your bundle.

your body drowns in warmth, looking down at your sexy and strong girlfriend giving you head never got old. she always knew how to get you going, possessively shoving you in the back of her car was on the list. you grip at her hair as the pressure from her fingers intensifies, tongue slipping past your lips and straight into the hole—and she moans at the taste of you. your head rolls against the rest behind you, hands weaved into green locks in an effort to grind yourself down on her tongue inside you without moving her fingers. one of her hands pushes your thigh away, keeping you from breaking yet another pair of her glasses.

she works in perfect time, knowing exactly how to send you over the edge without much work at all. she knows no man could tend to you so easily—making you cum like it was chewing gum or breathing. that’s why only she gets to wear the remnants on her face. you buck into her mouth, whines going high pitched. she taps your thigh, giving you express permission to cum on her face.

you whimper, the affection in her eyes was enough to send you toppling over the edge. your hips shake, the dam breaking in your gut—your release covers your girlfriend’s tongue as she curls it inside, gathering all the taste of you that she could with a few animalistic moans as she sucks you clean.

she pants a little as she pulls away from your cunt, tucking your panties back over the mess with a little smile of arrogance. “did that make you feel better, sweetheart?” she asks, pulling your skirt back down as she leans up toward your face. you bend down to meet her, she was still on her knees after all.

you chuckle, giving her a soft kiss. “i meant to ask you that.”

#kylee's kinktober event #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #kyleewritesjjk #maki x reader #maki thirst #maki zen'in #maki smut #maki zenin #maki zen'in x reader

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jeankirsteinsgirl · 1 year

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What the JJK men like to call you

CW: both sfw and nsfw, no specific warings.

A/N: a little drabble to hold you guys over sense im super busy right now!

Gojo: Princess (cocky), baby, good girl. he's a cocky mother fucker. he knows you're obsessed with him and loves to tease you about it, loves to drag everything out and make you beg for him. He totally gets off on how needy you are for him but in reality he's just as needy for you.

Geto: Angel, honey, baby, tons of terms of endearment. Like Nanami he'd be so sweet to you, his touches are soft and respectful but his gaze lingers on you just a little too long. King of making you his top priority, this man would get on his knees for you, controversial opinion but lowkey submissive?? Anything for you he's just so obsessed with you.

Yuji: Baby, babe, babygirl, my girl. He's such a lame teenage boy (aged up dw) and he's so proud to be able to call you his girlfriend, he tells everyone about it all the time,"Hey have you sen my girl" *pulls out the most embarassing picture of you you've ever seen* Loves seeing people be jealous of him and smiles while he wraps you in his long musculer arms. Such a dork but you love it. and sooo handsy he's literally touching you at all times.

Toji: Babygirl, princess, my good girl. Such a dom no questions asked. Unlike nanami and geto he's rough with you but you love it. He's so protective over you hes like a german shepard boyfriend, literally your guard dog staring down anyone who dares to look in your direction. Buttttt so passionate in the bedroom you won't be able to walk for days.

Nanami: baby, babygirl, honey, angel. this man lovesss to baby you and give you everything you could ever possibly want. Such a sweetie pie, totally a soft dom, your pleasure is at the top of his priorities. Always wants you to feel safe, loved and cared for. You literally have him wrapped around your finger this man is whipped for you.

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callout-tee · 8 months

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this is a post and blog meant to call out user @saetoru, whose blog is archived but now uses the account @ctrltoru. i highly encourage everyone to block both of her accounts.

i assume everyone already knows the controversy surrounding this user, but either way, i made this account to share my experience and the experiences of other blogs with tee.

hi, i'm a mutual of tee's and a little while back, tee confided her new tumblr (@ctrltoru) to me. we've been mutuals for a decent amount of time, but ever since october 2022, my opinion of tee has gone down the drain.

TLDR: as time went on, i found it harder and harder to excuse her actions. she's run many of our favorite writers off tumblr, and frankly, it's not a stretch to attribute jjk tumblr's growing toxicity to her presence here.

[ CW discourse. ]

read @/garoujo's post first. if you scroll through the reblogs, many other writers, including many big blogs that i'm sure you'll recognize, have had similar experiences with tee.

the anons: many big blogs left tumblr or moved accounts because of hate anons being sent on tee's behalf. many of them were death threats that included any number of slurs.

in tee's post meant to explain the archival of her account, she never even addressed the main problem, which is the fact that she, her mutuals, and her anons (most of which were sent by her) are the reason so many writers were harassed off the app.

tee has an ongoing habit of causing drama with any blog she feels threatened by. ever since her haikyuu days, this has happened over and over again. first it was emmie (@/garoujo), then it was yoru (@/anantaru), and then it was karma (@/kazushawty), and so many more and who knows who it'll be next.

as someone who has a decently sized blog myself, i understand feeling frustrated that a blog who hasn't been writing as long as you have is getting as many, if not more notes than you, because it's natural to feel that way. however, what isn't natural is actually doing something about your immature ego and going out of your way to be rude, directly or not to the person involved.

all the writers who reblogged emmie's callout post before leaving had one major thing in common: they kept receiving death threats on tee's behalf. this is both the anons' and tee's fault, because it's a fact that tee knew about this. i knew that she knew about this, but did tee ever tell her followers to stop? no, she didn't.

if you don't speak out against death threats being sent on your behalf, you're condoning them. tee handled it badly, and it was not a mistake. in fact, many of the anons sent were from tee and her mutuals herself: it's obvious, and it's disappointing.

the plagiarism accusations: it's a canon event for every jjk writer to get accused of "plagiarizing" tee. emmie got accused of copying her generic instagram theme, karma got accused of copying her generic mdni banners, sabrina (@/osaemu) got accused of copying her generic title, and so many more people have shared their experiences with tee too.

maybe tee's shots in the dark were right once or twice, but if you're accusing every single writer of copying your themes/banners/titles (bffr, who actually cares about titles) then frankly, you're the problem.

there's inherent bias within people's heads (this includes everyone, not just tee) that makes them want to see similarities between them and others. that's just how the human brain works. however, again, that doesn't excuse making it a canon event for every single jjk writer to have a bad interaction with you.

i'm not the only one who feels this way. back in october, every jjk blog i know had something to say on this matter. anons, writers, and many of my mutuals all knew tee was in the wrong, but it's disappointing to see how even then, she still had a platform.

again, if you want to hear the stories behind why your favorite writers left the app, read the reblogs on this post.

and finally, who remembers the post tee made saying that everyone should be "thanking" her for "what she's done" for the jjk fandom?

moment of silence please, let that sink in.

i don't even need to say anything about that, because her words speak for themselves.

moving on, i hate to be this honest (i don't), but how are you gonna be a grown adult and talk like a fourteen year old kpop stan? being a good writer doesn't mean you can be a bad person: you're not a celebrity. we're all a bunch of losers here to fuck gojo satoru, and if you're going to go out of your way to try to be the queen bee of tumblr dot com, then the rest of us have no problem calling you out.

honestly, it's sad that some people on this app can be such amazing writers but, at the same time, such immature people. this includes tee and many of her mutuals. being good at something isn't mutually exclusive. i can be a good writer, and so can you—we can coexist peacefully, but people like tee are what's making that so hard for the rest of us.

again, block users @saetoru and @ctrltoru. tee doesn't deserve your time.

(tagging for reach, because everyone deserves to know about this. sorry for the tag abuse, i know it's annoying.)

#cw discourse #tw discourse #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #gojo smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #tokrev x reader #tokrev smut #atsumu x reader #atsumu smut #richboy!gojo #saetoru #ctrltoru

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rottiens · 2 months

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What are our features that Kento, Satoru, Geto, Toji and Sukuna are obsessed with, in your opinion? (like hair, eyes, tiddies, etc.)

Disclaimer: Only physical characteristics and my personal opinion; this has no specific body type or hair in mind. Regardless of your physique, I wholeheartedly think your favorite character would love you easily, I have no doubt about that. CW: mentions of marks, bites, implication of size differences, feet.

I think Toji and Sukuna are the kind of boyfriends who are obsessed with your thighs. It makes them feel a little warm when they go out with you and you wear some outfit that highlights your thighs. They have this need to put their fingers on them whenever they can, and they're obsessed with admiring you when you're sitting down and your skirt hikes up a bit. Also, Toji loves your lips: biting them, playing with them with his fingers. He says you have the softest lips and your kisses are like those of an angel. His knees buckle when he thinks of your tongue running along his.

Sukuna is also the kind of boyfriend who loves your skin. I don't want to sound creepy, but I feel like Sukuna sees it as a canvas he can fill with kisses, little bites and marks. When you get out of the shower or after exfoliating your body, he loves to sink his nose into your neck or brush your forearms, back, etc., with the tip of his nose and feel your skin.

Suguru is a man who, while I have no doubt he loves thighs too, is a guy who loves your ass. No need to elaborate further on that. That's a yes. I should mention that he loves to see you smile; whenever you do, he immediately puts a smile on his face. Also, (no favoritism noted here lskd) he loves your hair and enjoys helping you wash and take care of it.

Satoru loves your hands. He likes to compare them to his own, intertwine his fingers with yours whenever he gets the chance, and if you're shorter than him, he makes fun of your height, but finds it adorable when you lean in so you can kiss him better. He also has a soft spot for your chest; he can't help slipping his hands under your shirt whenever you're cuddling and cradling them, without it having to be sexual.

Just like Suguru, I think Nanami really likes your hair. He loves it when you teach him how to take care of it, help you wash it and stroke your head while he holds you close and feels you falling asleep on his chest. It may sound controversial, but I'd rather die telling the truth: he likes your feet and secretly loves it when you wear painted nails. It's not my fault God chose me to tell the truth, but he's also fascinated by your back and how it looks from behind when he's [static sounds]

#asks #lovers ₊˚ᰔ #As always this was so much fun lskdkd #love you! Thank you so much for asking :3 #jjk x reader

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catscidr · 3 months

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NEED MORE OFFICE DOTTORE PLEAAAAADE HBAUBGUDUHFIBOND

i. note — he’s my guilty pleasure im sry i js CRAVE this mf twenny four/seven ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) </3 ii. includes — dottore, afab! reader but no gendered pronouns are used iii. cw — im rambling again heyyy what's new. office setting/modern au, dottore is kinda creepy, implied stalking, obsessive behaviour, their feelings are mutual but dottore comes off too strong and reader is a bit dense, mention of periods, drinking/alcohol, implied drugging (but nothing happens). this sounds bad but its tame he's just a weirdo with a crush and is weird about said crush Trust Me

thinking about office senior! dottore using his status in the company to butt in and work on projects that you’ve been assigned. him slowly but surely worming his way into your life ever since he got a taste of you, unable to let you just be a fling, a one-time thing. he just has to ruin you in every way

he would definitely be sooo aware of your steadily blooming crush on him and would use it against you to then tease you to hell and back. this man knows how to toy with people! he’ll most definitely toy with you!!!

lingering touches bordering on unprofessional but still friendly if you squint, going out of his way to ask your opinion on things during a crowded meeting n putting you on the spot, stepping into the elevator at the same time as you to trap you n initiate small talk……

of course said “small talk” is always… a little weird… when it’s with zandik. he doesn’t talk about the weather, stocks, or whatever mundane task you were working on right before you went on lunch break.

no, he’ll talk about things he shouldn’t know about you, things he’d only know if you told him about them, or things that are just a little too… personal? but maybe you’re being a little uptight. maybe you just… don’t remember telling him some things about yourself. it’s not like he’s talking about anything super outrageous or controversial anyways, it’s fine.

“eating instant noodles every day for dinner isn’t good for you, it’s most likely the reason why you get such bad cramps during your cycle. i would recommend adding some leafy greens to your servings at the very least, or some tofu to help with your iron intake.”

what a weirdo…. but hey, he’s kinda right, maybe you should eat more balanced meals so you don’t keel over anytime soon.

office senior! dottore also often does creepy things but in a nice way? if that makes sense?

for example, when the team is brought out for drinks to celebrate another successful project, he’ll make sure to be the only one sitting next to you. you’ll be squished against the wall and his shoulder, beer in hand, your cheeks burning from the alcohol and the proximity between you two

he’ll keep an eye on you and your alcohol tolerance, but not in the way you think he will. he’ll encourage you to drink more, “you seem tense. here, here’s a refill” he’d say in that smooth voice of his. “oh? you’re stumbling on your words, are your nerves still acting up? have my drink.”

and once you get to the point where you’re leaning over the table, head resting on your arms, only then will he start to actually take care of you.

he’ll place one hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles to help ground you from your dizziness. scold you for drinking so much, all while everyone else at the table glances at you with concern (or as much concern as other drunk and tipsy coworkers can muster)

“you shouldn’t have drank so much if you knew your alcohol tolerance was this poor.”

and the shadow of a smile on his face will turn into something more sinister when you frantically get up to rush to the bathroom. you immediately stumble to the floor, dizzy and disoriented. too dizzy and disoriented.

he’ll catch you before you fall as coworkers express their concern for you, only then noticing how bad your state had gotten now that face-planting directly onto the tatami floor of the bar was a feasible outcome

a chorus of surprised “woah!”’s and “are you okay?” ring out, conversations growing quieter as everyone stares at the stoic, scary superior holding up the rookie that got completely plastered at a work event. some are silently judging, but most are ogling zandik

your cubicle neighbor and work buddy gets up from her seat, stumbling on her way to help you stand up. though she had indulged you in gossip about him before, something about him holding your suspiciously drunk body up made alarm bells ring in her head.

“i’ll take them home,” he declares, voice colder than ice. no one really notices the hostility in his tone, too tipsy themselves to notice zandik’s obvious favouritism towards you. “enjoy the rest of your night.”

...and he diligently brings you to your flat, catching you before you stumble on your feet and trip over nothing. the trip was a struggle for the both of you, though more so for you than for him considering he had anticipated this outcome. maybe next time he should reconsider before giving you so much to drink.

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kyliafanfiction · 2 months

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Victoria Dallon and Righteousness: An Incomplete Deconstruction

From everything I've heard and read, there was a lot of negative response to Victoria Dallon being the main character of Ward, when that was revealed. Lots of people obviously wanted Taylor, but even more, Victoria as MC didn't really resonate with a lot of the people who loved Worm so much - very different sort of MC.

Now, obviously, I wasn't in the fandom when Ward came out, I was still just loosely aware Worm existed and that the MC was a villain protagonist named Taylor Hebert. I wasn't even aware Amy Dallon existed, let alone Victoria!

So I don't know how I would have felt about it, but I'm willing to bet I wouldn't have been a huge fan. One, because I probably would have wanted Amy as the MC, because I'm willing to bet Amy still would have been my blorbo (though I don't believe the term blorbo existed when Ward was started) even coming into Worm blind, by the time I was done.

But two, because... even though I like Victoria (a lot), and would presumably still like her in this hypothetical scenario, I don't like her as Main character material. Because at the end of the day, the sort of archetype she represents is not one that I tend to care for.

It is not breaking new ground to say that Victoria Dallon, Glory Girl, is, in large part, a deconstruction of the Flying Brick/Superman type character. Worm has several deconstructions of that type of character, and Vicky is one of them. Her invulnerability is an illusion, and indeed, her whole schtick is the illusion, the 'Aura' (heh) of perfection and untouchability.

But the thing is... I don't, as a general rule, actually like the superman-type characters, in fiction. Your Captain Americas, your Supermans, your CW Supergirls - they're not really my type of character. Not because of their strength or 'invulnerability' or whatever, but because of their sense of self-righteousness, their righteousness, and the way the narrative tends to support and build up that righteousness. Obviously the wide world of comics is full of exceptions, but in the comics-adapted media I've seen, the 'Superman Type' character still tends to get away with always being right, with their moral rectitude being unquestioned in the end, with them getting to be the 'moral heart'. Whenever their code clashes with someone else's, theirs always gets to be right.

Once in a while the narrative will let them be wrong, but even then it's usually brought back around to them being right.

And Victoria Dallon has that righteousness in spades, in Worm. Her first introduction, of course, immediately exposes that this is at least somewhat an illusion. Interlude 2 has her do a police brutality and nearly kill a guy. Sure it's a Nazi, but police brutality is bad even if it's done to 'acceptable targets'. That shouldn't be a controversial opinion. And then Amy is called in to help Victoria maintain that illusion by healing the guy and leaving it his word against Glory Girl's and Panacea's. Again, another case that her righteousness is, in the Wormverse, a bit of an illusion.

And then in Arc 3, she arguably threatens some pretty disproportionate retribution for bank robbery. Again, the illusion of righteousness. And her insistence 'New Wave Doesn't Have Secrets' when we know full well from Interlude 2 that she sure as shit does have secrets from (most of) the rest of New Wave.

But for a deconstruction of a self-righteous character to be complete, that sense of self-righteousness needs to get the character in trouble. And that doesn't really happen for Vicky in Worm.* And everything I know about Ward suggests that her sense of 'I know what's right, my moral code is the Correct™ one all the time, I'm the good guy and that makes what I believe correct ipso facto' doesn't really go away or get questioned or undermined.

But notice that asterisk? Because the thing is, in a way, in Worm, her sense of 'I know what's right, I'll do what I think is right damn anyone else's idea of it, I'm the hero, those who oppose me are the villains, the monsters, and it's cut and dry' does actually get her in trouble cause her major problems.

But it's hard to talk about, because it happens in Interlude 11h. And talking about it risks looking like you're victim-blaming Victoria.

Now, I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm pretty sure if I don't, there's going to be people believing I think otherwise, but Victoria 113% did not deserve to have her brain altered, or to have what happens to her when Amy wretches her.

(Whether you agree with Wildbow's dubious insistence that rape was the intended reading all along, or think that it was meant to just be nonconsensual body modification/etc as a metaphor for sexual assault or whatever else, what happens is a horrific violation of Victoria's bodily autonomy ontop of the previous violation of her mind. It was bad. Victoria is a victim and Amy her victimizer here)

But, Victoria's sense of her own righteousness does sort of lead to both.

In Interlude 11h, Amy makes it very clear she wants Victoria to stay away from her, to not touch her. Now, Amy doesn't communicate what's going to happen because it's not like she, before the critical moment, was actively planning it to happen, so despite what some people have said, it's not a case of 'Fuck Around, Find Out', and people who unironically say that definitely need to get smacked around the head with a metaphorical two-by-four a few times, because that's a fucked up POV.

But, Amy still laid a boundary very clearly. 'Don't Touch Me!'. Tumblr, correctly, is very much a fan of the notion that 'no' is a complete sentence, that people are absolutely allowed to refuse hugs, that that all is part of bodily autonomy. That 'don't touch me' is an acceptable boundary, even with close family members.

Vicky, without hesitation, violates that boundary. She decides that her belief that it's okay to hug Amy, because she loves her (as a sister), because they're family, because she knows better than Amy what's right for her (as the whole first half of the scene is her trying to convince Amy to do what she manifestly does not want to do) takes precedence over Amy's boundary. Over Amy's belief about what's best for her. Over Amy's own wants and wishes.

Now this is entirely understandable - she loves her sister, she's afraid for her, she wants her sister to come back home, her sister is being chased by fucking serial killers, it's entirely understandable she doesn't want Amy running around on her own. And if she'd just stuck to trying to convince Amy with words, then that wouldn't be an issue. And... her brain wouldn't have been changed. At least not then. Maybe Amy snaps more completely later and does something, but that's a pretty deep hypothetical.

Now again, Vicky does not deserve this. This is not 'earned'. This is not 'FAFO'. But her sense of self-righteousness does indeed get her into trouble here. The one (hugging Amy) is a necessary antecedent to the other (Amy changing her brain).

Until the critical moment it happened, Amy did not want to do this. Hence the 'don't touch me'. Whether it was an errant impulse, an intrusive thought or her shard deciding to act on it's own to push her towards doing it, it happens. Amy does a very bad thing, and she has to own that.

To Amy's (perhaps minimal) credit, she immediately is horrified by what she did, and tries to fix it. To undo it. Understandably, Vicky says no. Her sister just violated her on a fundamental level, and her entire view of her sister has just been destroyed, because she's also finding out that her sister has been in love with her this whole time, and that of course makes her question everything else she thought she knew.

So she doesn't trust Amy enough to give her the chance to fix it.

Now, I'd like to believe that under other circumstances, say Scion suddenly shows up and turns S9 into paste, aborting the entire arc or something, that Victoria, once she has a few days to reflect, will decide to trust her years of knowing Amy, of loving Amy (as a sister) and trust her sister enough to give her the chance to fix it. Probably with some backup (trust but verify and all that), but still. Maybe that's wishful thinking on my part, but either way, that opportunity doesn't happen.

And in 11h, there's another place where her self-righteousness, her 'I'm the hero, anyone who opposes me is pure evil' mentality also ends up contributing, in a small way, to something else bad happening to her.

In her entirely justifiable anger at Amy, she says that Amy never deserved any of the defense, the benefit of the doubt, etc that Vicky gave her, vis-a-vis her father. That she 'exceeded' him in awfulness. This is of course manifestly not true - Marquis may not have meddled with minds, but his plethora of murders is still much worse - but Victoria isn't exactly speaking from a place of rational analysis here. She's beyond angry, and wants to say a thing she knows will hurt Amy the most. And, given her mental state in that moment, she might even believe it. I certainly doubt she has a firm understanding of Marquis's criminal career.

But, understandable, justifiable or not, it is another blow to Amy's incredibly fragile psyche. Another piece of 'proof' to Amy that she really is the monster she always thought she was. And confirmation of that fear of hers, and her surrender to it, is critical to the wretchification and rape/sexual assault metaphor (see above).

In Interlude 11h, Amy was ready, willing and psychologically able to undo what she did to Victoria. By the time she has the opportunity, she is in a very different mental state, and isn't willing to. Isn't really able to. Amy, rightly, gets shit for this from fans and from characters in-universe, and it was wrong of her to not fix Vicky, let alone what she actually does to her. But there was a moment when she could have fixed Vicky, and in part, the reason it doesn't happen is directly linked to Victoria's sense of righteousness.

Now, a good character beat to have when a righteous/self-righteous character suffers or otherwise gets into trouble because of that aspect of their personality, is for them to reflect on their mistake, to realize what they did was wrong (or at least, the incorrect choice), and to resolve to not let themselves always be so sure that their sense of moral rectitude is always... well, correct in the future. Not to the extent that they just forget they were hurt or betrayed or whatever, but at least understanding it was wrong and they should do better in the future.

But that doesn't really happen. Not in Worm, because Vicky has no story arc after being wretched. Even her being fixed at the end is entirely bound up with it being a conclusion to Amy's story arc.

Now, that could have happened in Ward, but it is rather hard to do when you're insisting that rape happened. Because IRL, there's a lot of baggage around anything that even smacks or looks like you're victim-blaming someone who was raped. Even suggesting that people shouldn't walk alone in dangerous places at night, or don't accept drinks from people you don't trust, for instance, is often met with 'no, just teach people not to rape' from some quarters. (Which is true but... exceedingly unhelpful).

Anything that even kind of sounds like you're saying the victim 'deserved' it, or that they 'brought it on themselves' or whatever is 'rape culture', and to be fair, there is a fuck of a hell of a lot of that IRL. There's a lot of people who really would rather blame the victim, IRL. And even for fictional characters.

But saying that the victim did things they probably shouldn't have done, that they made mistakes, that certain choices of theirs led to what happened to them is not victim blaming. Not inherently. The ultimate choice to victimize is with the perpetrator. Whatever else, it's Amy's fault what happened to Vicky, not Victoria's.

And if it hadn't been full on actual rape, it might have been possible to actually see that deconstruction of Victoria's righteousness through to it's conclusion. But once you make it rape, and decide to make that a centerpiece of the character's narrative, it's rather hard to discuss how the character's own flaws and mistakes led to it, at least not without looking like you're doing a bit of victim blaming, doing rape culture apologia or the like.

And so, even in the most charitable reading of Wildbow (which I am at this point never inclined to give him as a first choice, personally, but), it's fair that he might not want to deal with that and just... drops that little notion that he built in 11h.

Of course, it's entirely plausible that my reading of 11h isn't even remotely what he intended because at this point I'm almost inclined to believe that anything good about Worm was an accident. This is of course, unfair, but Wildbow's own patterns of behavior make it hard to believe him about his authorial intent, anytime, ever.

Regardless, to bring it back to the start of the post - this reality, this incomplete (to me) deconstruction, this failure to properly explore the failings of Victoria's sense of righteousness and belief in her own moral rectitude is why, Victoria Dallon, as she exists, is not a character I can really like as a main POV character.

There's a reason why Captain America is the MCU character that annoys me the most. Why Supergirl, on the CW show of the same name, is my least favorite of the main cast, generally (I do like Kara Danvers, but still, least favorite). Characters who are possessed of their own sense of righteousness, and with him the core narrative tends to agree with, are always the sort of characters that are going to rub me the wrong way.

People who fervently, unquestioningly believe they are the hero of the story, the good guy in the narrative, without ever asking 'am I in the wrong here, not just a little, but completely', who don't have doubts not about specific moral choices, but their entire moral standing, don't tend to be very appealing to me.

There's a lot of problems I have with Ward, and that I would have had with Ward as it unfolded if I'd been reading it life (presumably), and in the interest of full honesty, the biggest is and would have always been the handling of Amy, above all else, but this lack of correction of Victoria's sense of her own righteousness and the fact that by all accounts the narrative tends to support and agree with this sense she has, would definitely have been and indeed is, another factor that means I'd probably have ended up one of those people saying "Victoria was a poor choice for the MC of the 'sequel' to Worm."

And again, I understand why, once rape is settled on and made 'clear', why it doesn't happen, why the examination, the 'I fucked up' moment doesn't happen, but... still. I can't help but think that, and all that could have flowed from it, really should have happened. That it would have been more interesting. And why, to my mind, even if to no one else's, the real promise, the best possibilities of Victoria's character, will always be incomplete. Why she's never going to be 'Main Character' material to me personally.

#Victoria Dallon #Guts and Glory #Wormblr #Worm #Worm Parahumans #Musings #Kylia Walks On Thin Ice #Kylia Writes Long Metas Almost No One Will Read Or Reblog #Kylia Screams Into The Void And The Void Ignores Her #At least that's what experience tells me

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