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queers-gambit · 8 months

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Curiosity Killed The Cat

prompt: after rescuing you from kidnappers, you overhear your boyfriend-turned-savior complain about how clingy you've become.

pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Marvel

word count: 5.1k+

note: author wants things out of her drafts! also don't take this fic too seriously, it's not much at all - just me writing for the fuck of it until i'm ready to focus on my bigger projects.

warnings: modern AU, Mafia AU, obvious cursing, small hurt and comfort, brief depiction of physical violence and self-destruction in the form of: loss of appetite, lack of sleep, other symptoms of depression. NOT edited! author is ashamed because she knows she can give you something better but oh well.

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Your feet planted, jarring you to a halt the moment you heard your name in a conversation you were not apart of.

You heard the hammering of your heart, echoing beats of your blood pumping with harrowing desperation. Hands turned cold and clammy, sweat breaking out on your brow and then freezing, feeling as if your throat had swollen to a new restriction and you were anchored in you in place.

Rooted.

But for now, all you could identify was the paralyzing anxiety that anchored you to your spot and made your heartbeat thunder in your ears. You stood outside the lounge, unable to comprehend relevant thought; still listening to low, docile tones continue their conversation, but you couldn't hear real words.

You were stunned. Panicked, confused, hurt - so very hurt. That seemed to register, too; you were really, really hurt.

This was perhaps why curiosity killed the cat.

You reprimanded yourself for listening in - transporting back to childhood during all the times your parents would scold you for eavesdropping. You knew it was wrong, you knew this was a private conversation meant to be shared between trusting confidants, but you couldn't help it - you heard your name and stopped. It was natural, right? To feel curious regarding a conversation seemingly about you that you, yourself, was not apart of?

Curiosity, indeed.

Blinking rapidly, you remembered the only other time you felt such mounting, pressurized fear, and while it might be dramatic, the only other time you could remember this level of anxiety was from about two months ago...

"Yes, baby, I got the bacon."

"And the jalapeños?"

"Uh-huh, the biggest they had."

"Cream cheese?"

"Do you know who you're talking to?" You laughed into the phone. "I'm a professional housewife by now, you can relax. I got all you needed for your fancy little dinner experiment."

Bucky laughed down the phone, "Oh, please, like I didn't see you salivating when we watched the segment on Top Chef."

"Hush," you laughed, too. "I'm leaving the store now," you told him, pushing out of the heavy glass doors, "and should be home in, like, 10 minutes?"

"Lemme pick you up."

"I have legs to walk with, so, no thank you."

He sighed, "Well, I'll open the wine to let it breathe. Red's still good?"

"Let's do a white tonight, please."

"Good deal," he mused softly. "Hey, I was thinking earlier - "

"Hang on," you pleaded.

"What's wrong?"

"No, nothing. There's just a van slowing down, I don't want to get hit," you chuckled some, looking up and down the street before crossing. "Sorry, so, what were you thinking?"

"We haven't been to Paris in months."

You smirked, "I'm sure our plants in the apartment are dead by now."

Bucky laughed, "Oh, I am, too. But, look, how 'bout it, Peach? You, me, all the croissants we can consume this weekend. I'll take Monday and Tuesday off, we can leave tomorrow night."

"Oh, that sounds nice," you moaned. "Paris in the spring? Baby, that's so dreamy!"

"So, is that a yes?"

"It's a hell yes," you grinned. "Do you know the weather?"

"Supposed to be nice and sunny, not too warm or cold. Figured this would be ideal," he chuckled. "But does the weather matter if we're in bed the whole time?"

"No, we're not wasting our time!" You laughed. "We're gonna go do shit, okay? Stereotypical tourist-couple shit."

"I'll bring the camera."

"And I was hoping we could have dinner at that little place we love?"

"I wouldn't take you anywhere else," he mused.

"I think it's - FUCK!" Bucky froze when he heard the screeching of tires; a van coming up to a skidding halt, flurry of voices all yelling but he heard yours clearly. "No, no, no, hey, hey, what the hell's happening? Hey! What's this - hey, hey! Don't touch me! Ow, shit! No! Hey! Fuck's sake - oh, my God! Ow! Hey!"

"Baby!? Peach! Hey! The fuck's going on!?"

There was a thudding over the phone, and Bucky listened to more struggling - more fidgeting and fighting - and then the slamming of a car door. Still calling your name, Bucky heard a scrape over the line before a different voice answered your phone, "James Barnes. On behalf of HYDRA, you're overdue on your payment and we warned you there would be consequences. Deliver the full amount of 17 million - "

"It's 15," he growled.

"Two million more for the inconvenience of stalking your woman."

"If you even so much as touch her, I swear to God - "

"17 million at midnight, at the pier, or every minute you're late, she'll receive the brunt end of our frustration."

"Don't hurt her - "

"Midnight, Mr. Barnes, at the pier - you know where. Don't be late, she looks like she won't last long."

The line went dead after he heard your screech of pain, confusion, and fear. The moment the line cut, he dropped his phone and slowly lowered himself to sit on the kitchen floor, shock coloring his system. It wasn't that he didn't have the money, quite the opposite - but he and his men had a plan in motion to take out HYDRA, their org's competition, and this was totally against all they anticipated. After a minute to sit in his own worry, Bucky jumped to his feet, grabbed his phone, keys, wallet, and two handguns; holstering them both before shrugging his suit jacket on.

He made every phone call he could, gathering the men he trusted most to (one of) his warehouse(s).

For hours, you were strung up by your wrists in a joint-pulling position while the Brooklyn Mafia formulated a plan of attack. It was the most pain you've ever known, but then the abuse started and you were blinded by this new pain. You had bruises most places, cuts that wept blood; scars that would never heal, wounds that wouldn't ever close. You were delirious, miserable, confused, just dazed and confused; praying to a God who didn't listen.

"Oh, look at that," your captor mocked, holding a thick-bladed hunting knife in hand, "it's one minute til midnight, and I don't see your loverboy anywhere."

You sniffled, unable to respond.

He stared out the lone window, tisking and narrating, "Nope, I see not a soul - and with how protective he is over you, you'd think he'd want to ensure your safety. Not leave it to chance, huh?"

You whimpered as the clock struck midnight, your heart hammering in heavy-hung worry. You had tears in your eyes, heart nearly beating out of your chest, feeling incredibly nauseous. The desire to scream never lessened, just fearing what was to come; the men in the room making you fear for the state of your life, their knuckles cracking. You only begged, "Please. Don't."

The main captor laughed, "You can do better than that! C'mon, give me the satisfaction of tellin' ol' James you begged for mercy - but it wasn't enough to sway me. I'll lie, for sure, and say it happened but it will be so much sweeter if you actually do it."

"Please," you shook your head, avoiding eye contact. "Just don't do this, please."

"Oh, honey," he mocked, "it's not our fault he's late. Lads! Have at her, but leave her face for now - she's still real pretty."

You listened as he gave commands in Russian, understanding after the years at Bucky's side; whimpering when the first blow landed to your gut and knocked the wind out of you. The minutes drug by and you felt your resolve crumbling, heart still hammering to a never-before-felt speed that made it feel as if it were jumping out of your very body at every single pulse point. You struggled in your restraints, but it was futile by how tight you were bound; unable to protect yourself.

At 12:03 am, the doors blew open in a resounding blast; concrete crumbling and sprinkling the floor. You cried out as the smoke choked you, coughing through the haze; only barely able to make out certain figures to know Bucky had brought his best men. However, despite the sting to your eyes from the swirling dust and smoke, you saw a lone man stalk through the blasted wall, through the fray, and straight up to you.

"Bu-Bucky!" You choked in relief as he reached to untie your feet first. You dangled for only a moment as his metal prosthetic ripped off whatever held your wrists to the torture contraption. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Bucky, holy shit, baby, please, please, please," you rambled as he freed you and instantly caught you on his broad shoulders.

"I got you, Peach, I'm here, I've got you," he promised in your ear, hoisting your legs around his waist so they latched and then wrapping his arms around you securely. "Don't let go and don't look up, okay? Hear me, Peach?"

You nodded into his neck, only able to cry.

Bucky jolted and jerked slightly as he moved through the fight again, but not a minute later, you were stepping outside into the sobering, brisk spring air. This was the moment you understood how dangerous and fleeting life with Bucky could be, making a promise to yourself that if he says take the car, you'll take the fucking car.

And now, here you were, outside the high-rise apartment's lounge (which was just a converted bedroom), listening to your boyfriend complain about you some 2 months after the whole fiasco. HYDRA had been all but wiped out, and in the weeks since, Bucky's men had gone on smaller missions to eradicate the HYDRA members they heard rumor of being local. Yet you didn't feel safe, yet.

You didn't feel safe if you weren't around Bucky.

Everything made you jump: the beep of the done-dryer, that spritz of the automatic fragrance mister in the bathroom, the "duh-dunnn" of a loaded-up Netflix. Keys jingling, car horns, the barking of the dog in the apartment a floor below you... Everything.

Being around Bucky was just like holding a safety blanket. He would always protect you, and for about a week after your rescue, he laid in bed and around the home with you; being lazy; time off work to simply hold you and assure you were safe. Safe in his arms. Safe in his embrace, his presence.

So now... To hear this... You were devastated.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop, it just sort of happened. It was still earlier in the morning, but Bucky hadn't been in bed beside you and based on the feel of the sheets, his body hadn't been there in a while. So, you made some coffee and then ventured around the home in search of your lover; coming upon the lounge and hearing voices from within.

You knew it was common for Steve Rogers and / or Sam Wilson to stay late or visit early, so, you weren't shocked by that, but did falter in announcing yourself when you heard Sam ask how you were doing since the kidnapping. He used your name specifically, making Bucky sigh, and for your curiosity to peak.

"She's different, man."

"How so?" Sam wondered.

"She doesn't like being without me now," he chuckled without humor. "I'm serious, she won't go to the gym until I do, waits to have meals together, won't leave the house if I'm out, and," he scoffed to himself, "you can forget going to the grocery store or anything - she's even stopped going to work - "

"You told her to stop working, like, two years ago when y'all first moved-in together," Sam deadpanned.

"I know," Bucky shrugged, "but it feels tenfold now that she's so reclusive."

"It's normal," Steve sighed gently.

"Yeah? Is it normal that I can't even go take a shit without promising her I'll be right back?" Bucky snapped in exasperation. "It's that bad, she's that fucking clingy, man. I go in the kitchen to make dinner, she's in there 30 seconds later to 'help' me. I take a shower, she finds a reason to linger in the bedroom, but that was better than before, when she wouldn't even shower by herself. It's just a lot, she's everywhere I look. I'm starting to find new reasons not to come home, man, she's always fucking here - and when I walk in the door, she's on me. I need to fucking breathe, but I can't tell her to stop, she'll get her feelings hurt and then I'm the bad guy."

"Man," Steve laughed, "you can't be the bad guy if you go to her in a calm and collected manner, but it's only been two months. She's still recovering."

"Exactly why if I say anything, no matter how calm and collected, I'm the bad guy. I get she's hurting and tryna recover, but Goddamn, does she have to be in every room I'm in? Do everything with me? How do I tell my traumatized girlfriend to back off? Let me breathe?"

Sam laughed, "You don't! You just said it - she's traumatized! Cut the girl some slack, she's got a lot to fuckin' deal with!"

"I'm not negating from that fact," Bucky argued, "I'm just trying to say, the way she's clinging onto me like she can't function without me is just grating at my nerves. I just need to breathe and recharge, but I can't tell her that - fuck's sake."

"Buck," Steve smirked, "you're worried Peach isn't gonna listen, but that's her literal superpower. Just communicate, she can't read your mind, but you need to remember how traumatic all of that was for her to experience - she's scarred from that kidnapping, man. So, sure, you need to recharge, but she needs the support."

"Is it wrong to ask for a day here and there to do that? To recharge?" Bucky asked quietly.

"If you communicate, it's perfectly reasonable to ask for," Sam assured softly. "And whatever you do, don't tell her you think she's clingy. Chicks hate that, that word is, just, like, taboo or something. Real heavy, negative connotations."

"But she is," Bucky growled quietly, "'s like she's afraid to let go 'cause I'll disappear or something."

"Oh, noooo," Sam mocked, "I'm Bucky and my girlfriend loves me too much and trusts me too much and actually feels safe and dependent on me too much - ohhh noooo!"

There was a thump, Sam's cried, "Ow!", and Bucky telling him to shut up. You slowly backed away from the door, trying to settle your breathing as you made your escape down the hall. When back in the kitchen, you whimpered and let the first tears fall... The first of many you shed in the hour it took you to prepare breakfast for everyone; doing your best to eat as you cooked so you didn't have to linger around the men. You took Bucky's words to heart, and maybe you were too sensitive, maybe you should venture outside again.

So, when the lads came out, you set the table without making eye contact with any of them. "Here," you directed, setting the pancakes down, "I made breakfast, come eat, it's still hot."

"Wow," Sam smiled brightly, "thanks, Peach!"

You hummed, still avoiding their eyes as you just set the abundance of food to the table. "You... Cooked without me?" Bucky asked you with skepticism.

"Mhm," you hummed, setting the coffee pot down to a hot pad, "and I'm going out shopping with Nat, so, eat up, lads, I'll do the dishes when I get home. Love you, boys, bye," you waved them off, snatching your keys and then moving to the door to stuff your feet into your sneakers.

"Woah, woah, woah," Bucky left the table, approaching you urgently, "hey, what do you mean? You're goin' out?"

"Yep, figured I've stayed in too long, might as well get out and remember life doesn't stop just 'cause I'm sad."

"Peach - "

"I'll see you when I get home, Buck, okay?" You mumbled, slinging your purse on your shoulder.

"Well, here, here, hey, wait, hang on," he pulled his wallet out, handing you over a wad of big bills. "Spend it all, okay? Have fun, call or text if you need me, yeah?"

"Sure."

Bucky leaned in to kiss you but you just opened the door, ready to leave. He frowned, watching you, barely managing to call a quick, "Love you!"

You didn't return the sentiment, feeling hallow and all too silly to return the affection. In your purse was your laptop, headphones, chargers, and whatever else, so, instead of meeting your friend, Natasha - being just a ruse to avoid Bucky - you started small and just went to the local café. You used to frequent it back in the day, but times were changed, and yet, they were all the happier to serve you the same as before. Getting cozy in the corner, you set up camp and ordered your favorite coffee basically every other hour - letting the day waste away as you caught up on work emails.

Might've wasted time on Instagram and Facebook and Pinterest. Got shopping done on Amazon. Browsed through Target's online selection. Checked out the sale items at Kate Spade. Perused Fenty Lingerie because you could.

Before you knew it, a message was coming in over your MacBook from Bucky, asking where you were - why had you turned your location off?

You packed up and with a to-go cup, made the short trek back home. When you got back, Bucky was pacing in the living room; staring at his phone and typing, then deleting, retyping, groaning, glancing up, typing again, then doing a double take. "Where've you been, Peach? Huh!?" Bucky demanded. "You're late!"

"Out with Nat," you eased.

He huffed through his nose, nodding slowly, "You have a nice time?"

"It was okay," you answered. "I'm gonna go to bed after I shower."

His brows furrowed, "I have a meeting tonight."

"I know."

"O...kay?" He let you go, wanting to ask why you didn't ask him to join like you had so often in the past few weeks.

And it didn't stop there, in fact, it got worse. When Bucky got home from his meeting, he was actually shocked to see you nestled in the bed; teetering on the edge of the shared space while snuggling a weighted body pillow.

When he tried to give you a snuggle, you stirred to life and pushed him back, muttering, "Too hot."

The following morning, he was relatively surprised to see you up and about before him; barely getting a word in before you were slipping out the door to go on a morning jog. He was confused by how all of a sudden, where you were once everywhere he looked, now, you were disappeared and distant and gone. You worked out alone, cooked alone - but always left him a plate, but long gone were the cute little sticky notes you left for him. You once haunted the apartment by never wanting to leave, and now, ghosted in and out of it on a daily basis.

You never bothered to go far from home. You liked hanging at the coffee shop and luckily, your job let you work from home most days, and the rare time you were due back in the office, it was only about a 20 minute walk. You got better at lying, couldn't even remember the last time you and Bucky had sex, and even now, the last time you had a meal together. You didn't text him about your day; where you once might've told him about an adorable dog you saw on the street, now, you only ever texted him if he asked a direct question.

Food lost appeal, your appetite vanished.

Sleep evaded you, plaguing you with nightmares when you did rest.

Interest dulled, passions were snuffed, and only fearful, confused anger remained. It showed in the way weight seemed to shift around your body, thinning; the lack of sleep creating dark rings and bags under your bloodshot eyes.

After two weeks of this, Bucky grew irritated and short with everyone around him. It reflected in his work, the way he spoke to everyone; even Steve and Sam getting the brunt end of his anger. Without you to assure him, Bucky was off his rocker; losing his cool; his patience stretched far too thin. So much so, the two mates approached an outside associate, Natasha Romanoff, after a particularly snappy meeting to plead for her to talk to Bucky.

"James," Nat greeted as she strode into his office without knocking.

"I know you're my oldest friend, but you don't have that privilege yet," he mused, never looking up.

"What?"

"Not knocking. What is it, Nat?"

"Just came to check on you, you know, like friends do."

"Hm," he chuckled without humor, "and what did Peach say to you?"

"About...?"

"Me."

"Nothing, I haven't gotten ahold of her for weeks."

Bucky paused, slowly lifting his head in confusion; brows furrowed and mouth set in a firm, straight line. "What?" He grit.

"Huh?" Nat wondered.

"She's been telling me that she's hanging out with you for the past two weeks," he revealed.

"Nope, not since the incident with HYDRA."

Bucky's (right) flesh hand crushed the pen in his grip, taking a long breath. "All right," he sighed, "so, why come today?"

"What's really going on, Buck?" She worried softly. "Is it really whatever's going on with Peach? You're this pissed off? What'd she even do?"

"She just..." He cut himself off with a long sigh. "It's nothing."

"Bucky," Nat gave a pointed look.

"She's just avoiding me," he muttered. "It's like she's barely home, almost like a ghost."

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes, and no," Bucky snipped, rolling his neck out. "I'm just worried about her now, she's never not communicated before."

"Something's bothering her," Nat shrugged. "She probably needs you right now, Buck."

"I can't do it all," he whispered. "I can't be who she wants and run this organization at the same time."

"She doesn't need that, she just needs you to be her partner," Natasha spoke softly. "She needs to feel loved and supported, and surely, she maybe felt weird about whatever you were projecting. Instead of taking it out on your men," she smirked, "why don't you just talk to her? 'Cause I hear you're bein' a more-than-usual asshole lately. You need to ease up or get laid, 'cause you're taking it out on good, loyal men, and that's entirely unfair."

"They can take it."

"Sure, but they shouldn't have to," Nat rolled her eyes. "Look, since you won't answer me, I'm assuming the sour mood is in regard to whatever relationship issues you have right now?"

"Sure," he tossed the pen away, opened a skinny drawer to his right and select an identical one.

"Bucky," she growled.

He sighed, "She's lying to me, Nat. Saying she's with you when she's not... Is this an affair? She's gone all the time now."

"No way," Nat laughed. "Baby girl doesn't have the energy to entertain anyone - let alone two men. You're just the exception."

"Why lie, then?"

"Maybe she didn't want you questioning her..."

"No shit."

"Well, did you get into a fight?"

"No."

"Any reason she doesn't want to be home?"

He shook his head with a sigh, "Not that I know of."

"You had to do something."

"Honest, I haven't. She was being all clingy, but then one day, a switch flipped."

Nat frowned, "You think... Your girlfriend is being clingy... Because she was kidnapped and beaten up... Because of your fucking job... And is probably scared...out of...her mind...? I get that correct?"

Bucky paused for a long moment, muttering, "Oh, my God."

"Yeah, you asshole. Think of it that way! She's afraid!" Natasha snapped. "And probably picked up on your energy, so, she made herself scarce."

"I didn't mean - "

"I don't care, go home, apologize to that sweet angel - she doesn't deserve this."

Bucky paused, "What is 'this' exactly?"

"James. Focus on the present - your woman. Go make this right. We all know you're this big, bad dude - but it's okay to be a little sensitive towards the woman who loves you without condition!"

Bucky relented, figuring the redheaded Russian mobster was right.

The entire drive home, Bucky considered the ways you had changed in the few, short weeks since he vented to Sam and Steve about your clinginess. You didn't take meals with him, didn't cook, work-out, or do anything you used to do together. Sex? Forget it. Dates? Nope. Cuddling? No, you're always 'too hot'. And when he thought about it, he remembers seeing the wads of cash he'd leave for you stuffed in his sock drawer - surely trying to make him think it was just another emergency fund he had hidden. You never spent his money, feeling humiliated by his choice of words.

Clingy...

You didn't text or call him when he was gone, you hadn't even so much as kissed him in what felt like ages... Well, more like you hadn't initiated any kisses...

His heart weighed in his chest as he realized he hadn't even so much as hugged you in days. You were rarely in the apartment together, and when you were, you were just silent and busy with chores. It was as if you operated on the exact opposite schedule as he did, went to new extents to avoid him, and his heart clenched in his chest.

When he got home, you were caught cooking in the kitchen - being obvious that you weren't expecting him. The door slammed and his baritone voice snapped, "Peach!"

You gulped, holding the sauce-covered wooden spoon to your chest. When he rounded around the corner, he found you and slowed down, sighing in relief. "What's wrong?" You worried in a timid tone.

He panted lightly, relaying, "Needed to find you."

"I'm here."

"I know," he relented, charging up to you and engulfing you in a tight, heavy hug. "I needed to talk to you, Peach," he whispered.

"What's wrong?"

"You. You're what's wrong."

"What the fuck does that - "

"No, no," he pulled back to stare down at you fondly, "I don't mean it like that, just that... You're struggling. I can see that. But you're not alone, I'm here with you, and I got a little caught up in my head when I realized someone was so very dependent on me - it fucking scared me. But then... Then you just shut yourself off and hid away from me, and oh, my God, it's so much worse, baby. Don't do that," he breathed, "okay? Don't ever shut me out - don't stop loving me, don't stop talking to me, don't give up on us. I can't read your mind, you can't read mine, it's not an excuse - but we understand better when we trust each other enough to communicate what's required. I'm so sorry I got caught up in myself, I didn't know what you needed - but I'm here now, I'm here - I'm not leaving you."

You collapsed into his chest, taking a shuddering breath.

"Don't ever stop talking to me, Peach," Bucky whispered, kissing the top of your head; keeping you close. "I'm so sorry, baby, if I - "

"If?" You snapped, pulling back to glare at him through your tears. "I heard you, Bucky. I heard you talking to Sam and Steve, and about how clingy I am."

"I was wrong," he insisted. "I was overwhelmed and tired and just stretched thin, the easiest thing to do is attack those closest to me, and that's you. It's not right, it's the worst I could do to you after all you've been through, and I'm so sorry. I was wrong, you're not the person to take this out on - and I'm so sorry, Peach."

You sighed, "I don't mean to be... I don't mean to cling - "

"Nah," he chuckled, caressing your cheek, "you cling as much as you want. Cling as tight as you want, baby, don't let me go. I'm sorry for what I said and the way it made you feel, it was wrong - so fucking wrong of me, and I see that. When you pulled away from me, I just... I couldn't think. It felt so wrong, and I knew it was my fault." He took your face in both palms, promising, "I'm so sorry, Peach."

You shrugged meekly, "It's okay."

"It's not."

"No, but apologizing is a step in the right direction."

He nodded, "What else can I do?"

"Nothing - "

"Peach."

You paused to think, smiling shyly, "Movie night?"

"Whatever my pretty girl wants," he nodded.

"Hmm... Get a bath with me?"

"All right... Sure, okay..."

"And face masks."

He sighed, "Okay."

"And mani-pedis."

"Baby."

"You said you were making it up to me, right?"

He smirked, "That's right... All right, yeah, sure, fine, we can..." He sighed again, "We can do all that, Peach, whatever you want."

"I just want you," you told him softly. "I didn't mean to be so clingy. I was just afraid... I felt afraid everyday, just so very unsure in this life. You're the only thing that makes sense to me, Buck, and when I heard you, I just... I guess I realized how dependent I'd been and wanted to give you space. Last thing I want is to smother you, to drive you away from me."

"Not ever gonna happen," he promised softly. "I just didn't handle it like I should've. I'm sorry, Peach, but I'm here now - for whatever you need. Want me to take a few days off, just be together? I'll arrange it. Want to get away for a bit? We can go."

"I just need you," you whispered. "Only you and I should be okay - I can be okay if I have you, but feeling like I lost you? Even a fraction? Buck... James, it was such a harrowing feeling, I wasn't sure what to do to move forward. So, I think I just panicked, shut down; thought if I could just get back to normal, you'd love me again..."

"I never stopped loving you," he swore, "I just had a bad lapse in my own judgement. Nothing against you, baby. Nothing."

You nodded again, letting him tuck you into his chest; perfectly snug under his chin as he coiled his arms around you. He let out a long sigh, his guilt swelling to new heights, but for that present moment, everything seemed okay.

Felt okay.

Appeared okay.

And you'd both do whatever it took to remain as okay as you possibly could.

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smileysuh · 1 month

Text

heart aches

🌙 starring. Jeong Jaehyun x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. Your ex finds your sweet spot as easily as ever, as if it hasn’t been two years since his tongue stroked this specific patch of skin and made your whole body tingle with pleasure. You let out a shaky sigh, threading your fingers through his hair and relaxing against the pillows. “Don’t leave me again,” you whisper. “Never again,” he promises.

tw/cw. foreplay, fingering, mutual masturbation, hand job hand fucking, spitting, finger sucking, inklings of oral fixation, praise, dirty talk, pining, reminiscing, breast worship, teasing, Jae being a simp, unprotected sex, handholding while fucking, Jae is pretty vanilla but pent up as hell, etc… I pet names: (hers) baby.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 5.3k

🍭 aus. ex's to lovers, non idol au, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. I don't normally do angst, but Idk, this felt right for some reason this month

Prologue:

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asks, watching you fiddle around the bedroom while he cuddles with your cat on the bed.

Part of you wants to push back your feelings - you’d kind of been hoping to talk to him at the airport in the morning - but you should have known Jaehyun would realize something is up with you. It’s been a nice long weekend having him home with you.

It’s almost been like he never left.

Almost.

With a deep sigh, you go to sit on the foot of your mattress, staring down at your hands. “I can’t do this anymore,” you say quietly.

The room feels achingly silent, and then the comforter ruffles as Jaehyun sits up. “This?” he asks.

“Us.” The word hurts to even say. “The distance… I mean, I knew continuing our relationship while you’re in a different city at a new university doing your graduate program would be rough… but… I just didn’t know I’d ever feel this lonely.”

Tears are welling in your eyes. You don’t want to break up with Jaehyun- he’s had your heart for four years. Starting over with someone new sounds impossible- but at the same time, being away from him hurts more than you could ever have imagined. It hurts when he calls you every night, being the perfect boyfriend, smiling and telling you about his day. It hurts because you thought you’d go through life together- you thought you’d be there to see it all yourself, not hear about it after the fact on the phone.

“Come here,” Jaehyun says softly, moving your cat off his lap so he can open his arms to you.

You allow Jaehyun to pull you into an embrace, his fingers stroking your hair. His heart is thundering in his ribcage, and you can hear it as you cuddle closer.

“I’m sorry that it came to this,” he breathes, “but I understand.”

You can’t help the tears now, and a choked sob escapes you. You grab at the front of his soft hoodie, wanting to crush the emblem of his new school. Part of you wishes he’d never been accepted into the elite business graduate program, but another part knows that Jaehyun deserves to be where he is now.

You love him, more than you’ve ever loved anyone, and that’s what makes this so painful.

Jaehyun needs to focus on his studies, to build a new life for himself across the country- and you need to do the same. You can’t be a ghost anymore, walking through life like a zombie and waiting to hear from him, constantly checking the time zone differences and calculating what he’s doing based on schedules.

“I can still…” you rub at your eyes, swallowing thickly, “I’ll take you to the airport in the morning-”

“It’s okay, baby,” Jaehyun shushes you gently, kissing the crown of your head. “I can get a cab.”

“Are you angry at me?” you ask, pulling away from his chest to look up at his face, worried about what you might find there.

“Of course not,” Jaehyun assures you, immediately stroking a thumb across your cheek to wipe away your tears. “No matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, I knew things had changed when I moved away. I could see that the distance was a problem. You have needs, and I’m proud of you for voicing them, even if it hurts.”

“My heart is breaking,” you whimper.

Jaehyun frowns. “Mine too.”

“You’re really not mad at me?”

“I could never be mad at you,” Jaehyun promises. “I think it will be easier to talk about this with time, if that’s something you’d be interested in. But for now, how do you feel about just laying down, holding each other, and doing our best to enjoy tonight- if it’s going to be our last.”

It might be easier if he was mad at you, if he yelled and swore and tried to make you change your mind- but Jaehyun’s never been an abusive type. Instead, he holds you close, and as you softly cry on his chest, you begin to drift off to sleep.

One

Even in a crowded bar, one distant laugh makes your blood run cold. You grip your drink, heart thundering in your rib cage as you scan your surrounding area.

It’s been two years since you broke up with Jaehyun. Even so, you’d recognize his voice anywhere.

“You good?” your best friend asks, reading your change in expression.

“Yeah, I just thought I heard-” as you’re about to say his name, you spot Jaehyun. He’s leaning against the bar top, chatting with a man whose back is to you.

God, he still looks so good.

Your chest aches, throat going dry. As you watch him, his eyes move to take in the bar. You’re quick to shift your gaze, lifting your drink to your lips to down the rest of it.

“I need to get out of here,” you mutter.

“What? Why?” Your friend reaches for your arm, pulling you closer to check in on you.

“My ex is here.”

“Which one?”

“Which one do you think?” You let out a laugh, but there’s no humor in it.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. Listen, have fun, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” You hand her your empty glass, giving her one last look before you turn to head to the entrance of the bar.

You can feel eyes on you as you push through the crowd, but you chalk it up to being paranoid. You slip through the front doors, intent on hailing a taxi. As you make it to the cement sidewalk, you hear your name behind you, and that familiar voice has your blood running cold for a second time tonight.

“Y/N?”

Your whole body freezes, and for a moment, you truly consider running. But you’ve already run from Jaehyun once before, and you don’t have it in yourself to do it again.

With a deep breath, you turn to face your ex, your first love, the man you’ve never recovered from.

“I thought that was you,” Jaehyun mutters quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he stares at you.

You don’t even know what to say, so you keep your mouth shut, taking in his pretty face and the broad set of his shoulders.

“Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have followed you,” he admits finally. “It doesn’t look like you want to talk.”

Jaehyun turns to head back inside, and your body reacts on its own accord; you grab at his arm, and it makes him stop. He looks down at your hand, wrapped around his forearm, then up at you.

“We…” you swallow thickly, “we can talk. I just… I don’t know what to say.”

“That makes two of us.”

You drop your hand from his arm when you realize he’s not going anywhere.

“I uh…” Jaehyun clears his throat. “I got back to town a month ago. Meant to message you- but I didn’t know what to say then either.”

“You completed your program?”

“Yup. With flying colors.”

“I guess I always expected you to be a big shot and move to some other city- what are you doing back here?”

“Unfinished business… maybe.” Jaehyun dips his head, looking down at the ground. You watch him absentmindedly kick at an old cigarette butt.

He can’t be talking about you… can he?

“Anyways,” Jaehyun meets your eyes again, “how’ve you been?”

“I’ve been…” you search for the right word, “okay.”

“Yeah? Happy?”

“Sort of. You?”

Jaehyun shrugs, offering you a lopsided smile that makes your heart ache. “Sort of. It was two years of studying. Didn’t have much time for extracurriculars, as you know.”

So your breakup is still a sore spot for him, you can sense it in his words. He’s not outwardly saying it, but… it’s there all the same. There’s something of an apology in his statement, because you do know how hard it was for him to find time for things outside of school- it had been the main reason you’d had to call things off with him.

“How about you?” he presses. “Any uh… any protective boyfriend who’s about to show up and beat my ass?”

You can’t believe he’s asking you outright about this, and the question actually makes you let out a small laugh. You shake your head. “No. No boyfriend.”

“Good. I mean… I hoped you were happy, but uh, you know, it’s nice to hear that, well, you know what I mean.” Jaehyun looks down again, and you can see his ears turning red.

It’s as clear as day that Jaehyun still cares about you. The way he’s acting tells you everything you need to know… well, almost everything.

“So…” you wrap your arms around yourself, “are you planning on leaving again? Do you know how long you’ll be in town?”

“Nothing is set in stone,” Jaehyun admits, cocking his head to the side as he looks at you. “Listen, I’m just going to say it.” He takes a deep breath, meanwhile, you can’t even breathe. “I never got over you. I mean, how could I? You’re everything, and- I understand why we broke up, I really do. But my program is over now, and if you give me another chance, I promise not to go anywhere ever again, at least, not without you right there by my side.”

“Jaehyun-”

“If you need some time to think about it, I totally get that-”

Jaehyun goes to take a step back, and you find yourself grabbing at him once more. Your body simply can’t let him go- not now, not ever again.

Your ex looks down at your hand on his forearm, and as you open your mouth to give him your response, no words come to mind. Your gaze dips to his lips, and before you know what you’re even doing, you’re moving in to kiss him.

Jaehyun is frozen in place at the initial meeting of your lips, but after a moment, you feel his body relax. His hands gently slip to your waist, tugging you closer as he slants his mouth against your own. You feel him release a small groan, and a whimper bubbles in your chest.

How many times have you dreamt of this moment? How many times have you thought about kissing Jaehyun?

Your arms wrap around the back of his neck, and you allow yourself to get lost in the feeling of him-

Someone lets out a whistle, and you roughly pull back from Jaehyun, your eyes finding the two bouncers outside the bar, who are staring at you with wolfish grins.

“Is there somewhere we can go to talk?” Jaehyun asks, resting his forehead against your own.

“Come home with me.”

Two

It feels like deja vu to be walking into your apartment with Jaehyun. You’ve had the same unit for years- and you know it must feel even weirder for your ex to be here again after practically living here with you for half of your time in university together.

As you toss your keys onto the entryway table, you hear a familiar meow. Your cat slinks in from the kitchen, but instead of heading to you, she immediately moves toward Jaehyun’s feet, letting out an obnoxiously loud purr as she begins to rub against him.

“Looks like Mittens hasn’t forgotten me either,” Jaehyun smiles, immediately bending down to pick up the fluffy grey and white kitty. She leans into his touch, purring like an engine as he scratches he cheeks. Her paws begin to make softies on his arm, and it makes your heart ache.

You’ve dated a few guys casually in Jaehyun’s absence, and Mittens has never liked any of them. She always was a daddy’s girl- after all, you’d started dating Jaehyun only a few months after you’d picked her up from the shelter.

You still have pictures of the two of them on your phone, hidden in a secret file- you’d never had the heart to delete them, and as you watch their reunion, you’re glad you never did.

“She missed you,” you admit. “We both did.”

You watch Jaehyun’s Adam’s apple bob with effort, your words clearly invoking emotion. You’re quick to look away.

“Can I get you anything?” you ask, kicking off your shoes. “I had a few drinks at the bar, was planning on making a grilled cheese-”

“You still do that?” Jaehyun asks.

“Yeah.” Your throat feels dry admitting another ghost of your past you still haven’t been able to shake. “I still do that.”

Grilled cheese after a night out had always been your thing, and when you’d started dating Jaehyun, it had become his thing too. You can’t even count how many nights the two of you came home from university parties only to make a grilled cheese and collapse on your bed, giggling and kissing like kids in love.

“A grilled cheese sounds perfect,” Jaehyun says. “Thank you.”

He follows you into the kitchen. As you begin to make the late-night snack, you realize Jaehyun has no intention of putting Mittens down. She basks in his attention, letting out upset chirps any time he tries to stop petting her to help you in small ways.

Jaehyun asks you about your job, and from that, the two of you begin to talk about your lives over the past two years. It feels too natural to slip into this type of conversation. His presence is so calming and familiar- by the time you’re done making the grilled cheese for you to share, it’s almost as if the past two years never happened.

It’s almost as if you never left him.

Almost as if he never left you first.

“Do you want to eat in here?” Jaehyun asks, heading to the small kitchen table.

“We can go to my bedroom,” you say softly. “Unless you wanted to be here.”

“Your bedroom is good.”

He follows you through your apartment, but when you get to your room, he stops in the doorway.

“I can’t get over how little this place has changed,” he muses, looking at the layout of the space.

“Yeah,” you sit down on your bed, lifting your legs onto the mattress and setting the plate by your knee. “I guess I’m used to it like this.”

Jaehyun knows all too well how comfortable you get, how hard it is for you to make changes. You think it must be one of the reasons he never fought the breakup. If you’d gotten to the point of needing an emotional separation to deal with the physical distance, pushing you to change your mind would have only made things worse.

“Can we come sit with you?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course.” You gesture to the mattress. “Make yourself at home, Jae.”

With a small chuckle, he comes to join you. He’s careful when he sets Mittens down, and she immediately stretches, letting out a massive yawn before coming to investigate the grilled cheese.

Jaehyun reaches for his half of the sandwich. “I missed these.”

“It’s just a grilled cheese,” you laugh.

“Yeah, but there’s something special about the way you make it. I can’t explain it.”

You can only offer him a smile as you both lift the gooey, cheesy, greasy, crispy bread to your lips. The crunch is satisfying, and Jaehyun shifts the food to his right hand so he can pet Mittens with his left.

The two of you eat in silence, but there’s nothing uncomfortable about it. As your meal comes to a quick end, your phone begins to ring, and you stand up to answer it. “Give me a sec,” you tell him, exiting the room while Mittens rushes to follow you.

“Hey girl,” your best friend says. “You okay?”

“I’m good.”

“Seeing your ex must have been pretty hard.”

“Actually, uh…” you look toward your open bedroom door, swallowing thickly then lowering your voice, “he’s at my apartment with me.”

“What!?”

“Yeah, we’re talking things out.”

“Just talking?” You can hear the cheeky grin in her voice.

“Don’t be like that,” you laugh.

“Girl, you and that man were a dream couple. He’s the one that got away, and now he’s in your apartment- he’s probably sitting on your bed, eating grilled cheese-”

“God, stop,” you groan. “Am I that predictable?”

“Nah, it was hashtag just couple things. Okay, look, obviously you’re doing good- I was worried you were somewhere crying and drowning yourself in booze. I’ll leave you be. Say hi to him for me.”

“Will do.” You hang up, looking down at Mittens. She’s circling your feet, and with a sigh, you go to refill her food bowl. You’d given her lunch hours ago, and you feel bad that she just watched you down a grilled cheese with nothing for her own little mittens to get a hold of.

Also… your best friend knows you too well.

Your body is reacting to Jaehyun as if there was never a separation- or maybe, your body is reacting because there was a separation. Your pulse is picking up with each step back to your bedroom, and when you close the door behind you, Jaehyun cocks a brow, finishing his grilled cheese with one last large bite.

“You good?” he asks.

“I’m great,” you tell him, approaching the bed.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun’s gaze moves to the closed door, and he offers you a dimpled grin, mischief flaring on the edges of his expression. “You locked out Mittens.”

Nothing gets past this man. You’ve never loved getting intimate while Mittens is trying to hog Jaehyun’s attention, and you shouldn’t be surprised that he got you figured out the moment you closed the door to your bedroom.

“Don’t even with me, Jae.” You sigh, collapsing onto the mattress next to him while he moves the grilled cheese plate to the side table.

“Look, I don’t want you to feel any pressure just cuz I’m here and we’re sitting on your bed-”

“Does it look like I feel pressure?” you ask, hyper-aware of the way your dress is riding up your thighs.

Jaehyun gives you a slow once-over. “I guess not.”

“You really mean what you said about not going away a second time?” You look down. “Because I don’t think I could take it if we gave this another try and three months down the line you moved cities again.”

Your ex nods. “I promise. If you give me one more chance, I won’t let you down.”

You stare at Jaehyun for a moment, studying the sincerity on his face. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You open your arms, resting back against the pillows and spreading your legs. “Now come here.”

Jaehyun practically leaps on top of you. He slots between your thighs like he was made to be there, his mouth pressing to your own while you wrap him in a tight embrace. He kisses you like he’s been starved of your lips.

He retains some of the gentleness that he’d exhibited outside of the club, but there’s a desperation too, you can almost taste it on him… along with the grilled cheese.

The thought makes you smile, and Jaehyun breaks the kiss to look down at you, also grinning. “What?”

“Nothing, just- I’m happy.”

“Me too,” he admits, looking down at your beaming face before he grabs your jaw between his thumb and forefinger, angling your head to the side so he can access your neck. Your ex finds your sweet spot as easily as ever, as if it hasn’t been two years since his tongue stroked this specific patch of skin and made your whole body tingle with pleasure.

You let out a shaky sigh, threading your fingers through his hair and relaxing against the pillows.

“Don’t leave me again,” you whisper.

“Never again,” he promises, voice husky in your ear.

His hand slides down the curve of your body, grasping at your thighs and slowly pushing your dress up. Your hips move, rutting in an attempt to spur him on. When his fingers finally find your core through your panties, you swear you see stars. He begins to rub your clit, circling it as he applies more and more pressure.

His mouth continues on your neck, and you begin to whimper from the stimulus.

You’d nearly forgotten how good it feels to be touched by someone who knows you inside and out- by someone who cares about your pleasure more than he’s ever cared about his own.

“Jae,” you whimper, breathing heavily as he rubs your core.

“Yes, baby?” His lips are gentle along your throat, and the feather-light touch almost teases you more than a rougher one would.

“Can we skip the foreplay? I need you.”

Jaehyun’s fingers stop on your clit, and he pushes himself up on an elbow, looking down at you with a quizzical set to his brow. “Skip the foreplay?” he repeats, letting out a scoff. “Baby, I’ve been thinking about what I’d do to you if you ever gave me a second chance for over two years. We’re not skipping the foreplay.”

“But-”

“Please don’t argue with me. Just let me have this. Just let me enjoy the body I’ve missed so much. I’ve missed your sounds, the way you react to my touch-” his fingers pick up their pace on your clit again, and you let out a whine, pushing toward him again. “See? You’re perfect. No matter how many memories of this I have, nothing compares to the real thing.”

When you’d been dating Jaehyun initially, he was - for lack of a better word - pretty vanilla. This dirty talk is new, and it makes your stomach erupt into butterflies. Your mind goes practically blank, lulled into a lusty trance by the musings of a man who’s clearly bewitched by you, body and soul.

When your gaze dips down to his hand between your thighs, you notice the way his cock is straining in his pants. “Can I…” you swallow thickly, “Can I touch you too?”

“Yeah.” His mouth returns to your throat, and he pushes your panties to the side, dragging his fingers through your soaked folds. “Fuck, baby, you’re so wet for me.”

You mewl at his words, quickly fumbling with the button of his pants so you can push them down just far enough to take his cock out of his briefs. Jaehyun releases a low groan and it makes your pussy flutter as you begin to stroke him.

Your ex reacts by slipping his fingers into your core, two long digits going knuckle deep. He tests your walls, grazing your g-spot when he begins to lazily pump his hand, his palm firmly pressing to your clit.

A whimper of pleasure escapes you, and you can feel Jaehyun grin against your neck. “The prettiest sounds,” he muses. “How did you ever get this pretty?”

It’s a rhetorical question, and it makes you feel cock drunk and dumb, your chest pushing up against his own, looking for stimulus- your nipples are hard in your bralette, but you wish you were naked already, wish you could feel him better-

“Jae?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Can you take my dress off?”

Jaehyun pulls his hand away from your core, bringing his two wet fingers to your lips. He pushes them into your mouth, propping himself up so he can look down at you while you suck his digits clean. “I thought you’d never ask.”

You groan around his fingers, the act of sucking is turning you on more than you’d care to admit, but it ends too quickly as Jaehyun pulls his hand away.

He sits up, taking off his own shirt first. Then he reaches down to grab at the hem of your dress, slowly dragging it up your form. Jaehyun’s eyes take in each strip of newly exposed skin, and you can see the way his pupils have blown with interest.

You lift your shoulders off the bed, making it easier for him to tear the fabric off of you and toss it to the side. This leaves you in your bralette and panties, both of which you’re eager to have join your dress on the floor.

Jaehyun’s hand reaches out to cup your breast, his thumb smoothing over the pebbled nipple that’s pushing through the silky fabric. He squeezes you gently, forcing you to release a moan of pleasure.

A moment later, he’s removing your panties, then your bra, fingers pinching at your newly exposed nipple.

Your hand, meanwhile, returns to his cock- only for Jaehyun to grab at your wrist, pulling you away.

You’re about to ask what’s wrong, but then Jaehyun turns your hand palm up, and he spits into the center of it, bringing it back to his cock.

There’s no way that action should have been as sexy as it was- your core throbbing as you begin to stroke his rock-hard length.

With one last lustful look at your body, Jaehyun settles over top of you again, his mouth seeking out your breasts while you pump his cock. The feeling of his tongue flicking against you has you crying out, pushing your chest toward his mouth. His teeth graze over your sensitive nipple and you respond by applying more pressure to his cock.

Jaehyun groans loudly, rutting his hips into your hand, which stills so you can allow him to fuck your palm. He continues to worship your breasts while his hips do most of the work, and you surrender yourself to the pleasurable scenario you’ve found yourself in.

“You know…” Jaehyun presses another kiss to your nipple, “I was going to ask you to sit on my face, but… it’s hard being this close to your pretty pussy and not just… slipping it in.”

“Yeah?” You guide his cock closer to your core, so that when he ruts his hips, the tip of his cock glides through your soaked folds. “Then just do it.”

“Here I was, saying not to skip the foreplay- but here I am, giving in to you like always.”

Jaehyun releases a laugh, and it makes you giggle along with him, because it’s true. Jaehyun may have this sexy, devil-may-care attitude, but he’s always been a total simp for you.

He was completely wrapped around your finger when you first met, and he’s completely wrapped around your finger now. It’s interesting how so much can change, and so little can change at the same time.

“You just feel so good,” Jaehyun groans, thrusting again, the tip of his pretty pink flushed cock just slipping inside of you-

“Fuck, Jae, please-” you push your chest up toward his face again, pumping his length, trying to guide him deeper-

He brings his mouth to your own, capturing you in a breathtaking kiss as he sheaths himself into your wet core.

You let out a low whine, wrapping your legs around his hips and releasing his cock in favor of grabbing his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin.

“Fuck-” Jaehyun moans, staying still inside of you while your walls pulse around his shaft. “Missed this perfect pussy, baby.”

“Missed your perfect cock,” you retort, tangling your fingers in his soft hair and drawing him in for another kiss.

His tongue clashes against your own, his hands finding your hips so he can steady himself as he begins to rut into you.

You love getting lost in him. You can feel your mind slipping away, your body giving into its primal instincts as Jaehyun makes love to you the way he has so many times before.

One of his hands finds your own, taking it from his shoulder and lacing your fingers above you, pressing you into the pillow. He breaks the kiss to look down at you, breathing heavily.

“There’s so much I’ve wanted to say,” Jaehyun admits.

“Then say it,” you urge him, cupping his cheek with your free hand.

He nuzzles against your palm, closing his eyes for a moment while he enjoys your touch. “I’ve missed everything about you. You’ve been on my mind every day for two years.”

Your heart aches.

“It’s more than just the sex, and you know it. I’ve missed holding you,” he squeezes your hand, “missed sleeping next to you. Missed late-night talks and grilled cheese. Missed your laugh and the way your eyes light up when you’re happy. Missed the way you cry at sad parts in movies-”

As he talks, the pace of his thrusts gets faster, and you find it harder and harder not to moan like a whore and interrupt his cute little speech about missing you.

In fact, it’s hard to even keep your eyes open, but your gaze is caught in his own. Jaehyun’s staring into your soul, baring himself to you like a man who’s brought all his walls down.

“I love you,” Jaehyun says gruffly, “I’ve never stopped loving you. Not for one single day. It’s you, and it’s always been you.”

Your stomach muscles clench at his admission, orgasm bubbling to the surface fast from the combination of his movements and his words.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he assures you, licking his lips. “Just rub your clit and let me feel your perfect pussy clench around me as you cum, that will be answer enough.”

With a loud whine, you throw your head back against the pillow, threading your free hand between your bodies. The first touch of your fingers on your clit has you throbbing already, and you release a gasp.

“That’s it, baby,” Jaehyun coos, lips finding your throat. “Just like that.”

“Jae-”

“I know, I know you’re close- must be pent up like me, right? We’re both going to cum way too fast, but that’s okay, we have all the time in the world to enjoy each other- the way I’m going to eat your perfect pussy for breakfast tomorrow morning-”

Your core pulses at the thought, and you rub your clit harder.

“Gonna let go for me, right, baby? I’m so close, want you to cum with me.”

“I’m there-” you tell him, shivering as he licks the sweet spot on your throat. ‘Fuck, Jae-”

“You want me to cum inside right? You’re still on the-”

“Cum inside,” you interrupt him. “God, fuck, please- need you to fill me up-”

Jaehyun groans, squeezing your hand again. His lips move from your neck to your mouth, and your tongues clash in a breathless, moan-filled frenzy, your orgasms just out of reach-

One more whimpered “please” out of you has Jaehyun moaning, his high crashing into him. You can feel him filling you up with his cum, and it triggers your own orgasm. A gasp escapes you, your sensitive nipples pressing against his chiseled chest-

You can feel him everywhere. He’s all-consuming. You completely let go, sounds uninhibited, pussy throbbing harder than it has in the past two years.

Jaehyun fucks you through it, until you’re both sweaty, gasping messes. Then he collapses on top of you, giving your captured hand one last squeeze before adjusting. He rolls off of you just enough to tuck you close to his chest, hand finding your hair and beginning to pet you.

You can hear the racing of his heart as he catches his breath.

As you come down from your high, you feel a welling of emotion bubbling inside of you. You’re shocked when a tear rolls down your cheek, and you’re quick to brush it away. Jaehyun notices the movement and tilts his head to assess you.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “I’m just…. I’m happy, and I missed you a lot.”

“Baby,” Jaehyun’s fingers draw pretty nothings on your back, “I promise I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

☀️ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! I've been reading a lot of shorter smut fics recently, and after doing such a big kick-off in January, I wanted to try a shorter piece again, and challenge myself with a little angst :)

🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below!

🔮 preview. “Listen, I promised myself I wasn't going to cum in or on you tonight - you know, seeing as you’re my wife tomorrow and I don’t want to disrespect you - but since you’re begging for it,” Jaehyun slips the tip of his cock inside of you, only to pull away, “I guess I can settle for cumming on your ass, but only if we shower together after.”

cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, creampie, pussy eating champ Jae, pussy worship, fingering, 69, blow job, hand job, deep throating, gentle choking, begging, dirty talk, slight cum kink/mentions of exhibitionism, finger sucking, multiple reader orgasms, etc… I petnames. (hers) baby.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3.1k I teaser wc. 200

🌙 starring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader

bonus

Since you got back with Jaehyun over a year ago, the two of you haven’t been separated for longer than twelve hours, but tomorrow is the day of your wedding, and there are certain traditions about the bride and groom staying apart- so here you are, cuddled on a couch in your hotel room, missing your fiance.

When your phone rings and Jaehyun’s pretty face shows up as the contact on your screen, you fumble over yourself to pause your movie and answer it. “Jae?”

“Hey, baby. What room are you in again?”

You think about it for a moment. You’d never actually told him where you’re staying in the hotel… “Why do you want to know?”

“Maybe I wanna send my fiance flowers before our wedding tomorrow.”

God, why’s he so charming?

You give him your room number without a second thought, hanging up with an ‘I love you.’

Five minutes later, there’s a knock at the door, and you open it to find Jaehyun standing there with a massive dimpled grin on his face, and a vase of flowers in his hands. “Hi, baby.”

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bunny584 · 3 months

Text

OBSESSED: NANAMI (PT. II)

A/N: Because our collective husband won the contest. Gege texted me saying obviously Nanami would win. He also said if I don’t post a second part immediately Choso gets the boot next season. So I’m doing this for ALL of us 🤗 (I swear, I swear I’m 90% done with H&H for those of you that follow/have tolerated my lollygagging).

C/W: Fluff, Breeding, Mature, 18+

“It wasn’t over…it still isn’t over.”

Lines from The Notebook bubble from your lips onto Nanami’s bare chest. You’re curled onto him like a Cheshire cat. Your pretty, flushed mouth pets him. Followed closely by muffled sniffles. You bury your misty eyes and runny nose into his ratty, old college baseball shirt.

The one washed heather grey from the days turned months turned years of your careful handwashing.

I can get you another shirt, my love.

But I want this one, Ken. It reminds me of when we first fell in love.

Your answer is the same whenever he offers. Pouring all of your being into mending the natural little holes, the frays, and strain that comes with time.

His precious girl.

You nurse his shirt back to health, time and time again. In the same way you kiss him on rainy Sunday mornings. And pull him into the kitchen to dance with you under candlelight. And sneak extra food into his packed lunch on days he has to work overtime.

You are celestial.

With you he’s entrenched in the Heavens.

With you he builds the palatial wings of his own personal Icarus. Flying close, nearly too close, to the blinding warmth of your Sun.

“It’s so romantic, isn’t it?”

You shift up higher on him. Torsos melding together. Both your thighs cradled between his pajama clad legs. Nanami drags his fingers along your delicate spine.

God, he revels in you like this.

“It is, baby.”

Nanami catches the glassy mosaic in your eyes. Worthy of display in the Sistine Chapel.

You quickly bury your head into his neck, embarrassed about crying over a movie you’ve both seen over 10 times.

“I’m being so ridiculous, I’m sorry. It’s the stupid, dumb, stupid hormones.”

You press a cloud soft kiss into his chest and it reverberates down to his thundering heart.

Truthfully, Nanami has spent the entirety of the film watching you.

Tiny wrinkles in your button nose during some scenes, giggles and full belly laughs at others. You try to bite back your sobs. Slap away your tears before they splash against his abs — like they don’t correlate with the same points in the plot everytime.

He purposefully chose The Notebook after dinner because of your reactions. Just so he could fall in love with you all over again.

Just like Icarus.

Who fell from flying too close to the Sun.

Because loving you feels like a blissful free fall. With no ground in sight.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” The words flow out of Nanami. He can’t seem to contain it.

A pretty gasp escapes you. You pull away from the TV to shift closer to his face.

“Oh, Ken. I can’t wait to—“

“Kiss me.” His voice is throaty, laced with growing need.

Such an obedient girl.

Your lips are addicting. A fiend’s paradise.

He surges his hands in your hair while his tongue traces and tastes every corner of your mouth. You whine into him. He sucks on your tongue before taking your bottom lip into his teeth.

“Baby,” You breathe against his lips. Gentle pants melding with his.

Nanami kisses a hushed I love you into your mouth, before shifting your bodies on the plush couch.

His cock has been throbbing the entire movie. His shirt has inevitably shrunken over the years. Where it used to fall past your mid thighs, now it rides halfway over your hips.

Your plump, perky ass has been in plain view the whole night. Nothing protecting you from his invasion except for a thin, baby doll thong. Navy. Like the letters on his alma mater’s shirt.

Because your body is in heat, preparing you for a baby, your breasts are noticeably larger.

Filling out his shirt in the most mouth watering way. Your nipples, hard and sensitive, enticing him with every miniscule movement.

God, the way you wince and squeal when you brush your buds too harshly against him. Or whimper when the supple, puffy flesh of your tits push against his rigid body a little too hard.

His cock bucks off his thigh every single time.

The next 3 days Nanami will be reduced to the most rudimentary version of himself.

He’ll follow you around the house like a lap dog. Burying his nose and mouth and lips and tongue into every part of your body. He’ll grope you. Rub his crotch into you at every turn. Cum from just sucking on your nipples, if you let him.

You two have decided to abstain from sex when you ovulate. Until you are ready to create a love child.

He says you, because Nanami is fully ready, eager, to have mini-yous filling his home with life.

And really, he’s happy to let you dictate your family planning.

But the next 3 days will be torture. His needy, oversensitive heavy cock will drive every thought. He’ll jerk off more times than he can count.

Nanami is on his back now, with you perfectly perched on his manhood. Nothing but your thin panties cupping your precious little cunt. His length tents right up against you, begging for entry.

Both of your warm hands caress each hill and valley of his abs. Little crystals line your wide, puppy eyes. Tip of your nose so deeply flushed from all your tears. Cheeks dusted rose from your sex rubbing against his in this position.

No matter how many years you two have been intimate, you always blush, and squirm, and look away and hide your face like it’s the first time.

And it just makes him want to bury his cock in you. And take you. And worship you. And keep you swollen with his cum.

“How did I get so lucky?”

Again, Nanami means to think the statement but it rolls off his tongue on its own accord.

“D-do you mean that?” The way your bottom lip quivers makes his cock drool.

“My love. Your name was etched into my heart from the day I met you.”

Nanami pulls himself up so that your chest collides with his. You whimper at the sudden contact and the sound decimates his brain.

He crashes his lips into yours once more.

Your sweet mouth is blinding. You immediately evanesce into him. Little “ohs” and little “mmms” escape you in the pockets of breath Nanami allows you.

His cock jerks violently against your warm, dewy folds. Your arousal has soaked through your measly barrier. Now mixing with his, staining his sweats.

“Oh sweetheart,” Nanami husks against your lips. His fingers go to move your thong aside and are now drenched.

“So wet for me. Such a needy girl.”

He circles your puffy clit twice. And you buck against his veiny hand.

“Mmnnggh…oh god, K-Ken..” broken little moans kiss Nanami’s neck, while he pets your soaking wet folds.

“My precious girl,” he muses, fully aware of how pliant you become under his sweet words and light touch.

Nanami shifts his hips upward, just to avoid his legs falling asleep. But the sound that emanates from your lips is mind altering.

The friction from his fingers on your sensitive bud and his barely clothed, steel pipe length bullying into your opening drives you to see stars.

You bury your head back into the crook of his neck. So embarrassed about the way your hips start rutting against his cock. Slowly. On low autopilot.

Nanami grips your fleshy ass with his free hand. Pushing you deeper onto his rod every time you hump him.

“Oh yeah, baby?”

He gently teases into your ear. It’s such a fucking turn on. You rutting against him so desperately. Blushing up to your ears. Trying and failing miserably at fighting your body when it’s in heat like this.

Your nails dig little crescents into Nanami’s back. Small little puffs of air feather his skin.

“That’s it, pretty girl.” Nanami huffs.

“Use my cock. Make yourself feel good.”

You mewl at his words. Frustrated that the friction you want, need, is escaping you.

“I-I’m so…” words broken by your sloppy, desperate humping. Nanami grips your ass tighter. He suspends his hips upward to help you.

But his adjustments just make you whine louder. Pulling your face out of his neck to glare at him. Little frustrated crystals fall from your eyes. Your pupils are completely blown. Eyelids heavy. Nostrils flaring.

Fucking hell.

He could cum from just looking at you right now.

You need his cock. It feels criminal not to sink into your begging, decadent, pretty little cunt right now. When your body has worked so hard to prepare you to be stuffed and bred.

“I’m so horny,” another salty tear rolls down your pretty face.

And Nanami has to look up at the ceiling.

Because you say things like that.

While dripping around his dick. With your puffy tits and lips. Wearing his shirt that reminds you both of when you first fell in love.

How can you expect him to maintain any decorum?

“I-I-I love you with all my heart, Kento.”

And, he’s off.

You snap his last remaining string of self control in half.

Nanami takes another bruising kiss from your lips. His hands start dragging his shirt over your head. And you immediately moan into him.

“Be gentle with it!” You scold through delirious groans.

He can’t help but smile against your lips. His sweet, tender hearted future wife. So protective. Even if it’s just a cotton t-shirt.

“Forgive me baby, I’ll be more gentle.”

Willing his hands to move a beat slower. He pulls the prized possession over your head and sets it on the couch ledge behind you.

His eyes instantly drop to your sensitive nipples. And you squirm away from his searing gaze.

“My beautiful wife.” Nanami murmurs.

He places feather light kisses on your sensitive mounds.

Your tiny fingers wire through his hair and gently tug. And Nanami’s cock twitches in return. Leaking more of his arousal onto the mess you both have created.

“Can I make love to you baby? All I need is my tongue.”

Grit in his tone almost sharp enough to nick your skin.

You roll your bottom lip under your teeth. Wanton and utterly fucked out, you drop your hand to his crotch for the first time. Evoking a loud hiss from your soon-to-be husband.

“I want to feel you.” Hot desire woven throughout your angelic features.

Your voice calls to his manhood. The last remaining blood in his brain diverts directly to his groin.

“I…” Nanami pulls in a deep, shaky breath.

“I won’t be able to pull out, pretty girl.”

You take a kiss this time, swirling your sweet tongue around his. Nanami melts into your mouth like chocolate. Palming both of your hips with his large hands.

Pull out? He won’t be able to last more than 5 seconds inside you at this rate.

“You’re my husband,” your dulcet voice absolutely fucking his brain.

“And I want to feel you.”

Nanami has to bite back a pathetic whine. There’s barely 3 seconds left before he’s thrusting into you like the caged animal he is.

“Sweetheart, I could…” No, he knows he will.

“I will get you pregnant tonight.”

He offers you the last warning he’ll be able to mumble before he starts.

You cup his face. Place a chaste kiss on his swollen lips and grind onto his helplessly rock hard cock.

“Then let’s make a baby.”

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smuttyaf · 4 months

Text

The Business

𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰; 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

wc: 4.9k

i made harry v manipulative, ik i need help, i’ll see my therapist this week

“Don’t worry it ain’t mine.”

He makes his way across the room dumping the pile of red and green bills into the sink, his forehead glistens with sweat sweeping over his face, curls sticking along his temples as blood stains cover the white button up.

“Oh my god,” You gasp, fingers dropping the Vogue magazine nearly tripping over your feet rushing towards him. You lean over the island with mouth agape looking at him switch on the facet and begin washing his hands, droplets of blood running down the sink.

“Harry, what happened?” He’s tugging off his ruined blazer, hands going to roll up his sleeves while looking at the money.

“It was fucking unbelievable baby, lemme tell you,” He fumes, pushing away from the sink to cross the room towards the bar.

Harry is ranting about what he’s covered in, hands grabbing the bottle of dark whiskey to pour a glass. The clashing of the cups have your gaze turning away and towards him. The navy tie you wrapped around his neck this morning is drench as he swallows the liquor, his hands shaking with adrenaline, pupils dilated, and breath drawing out heavy; the only thing you can do is rub his shoulders looking up at him with concern eyes.

“Look at this shirt! Look at it, it’s fuckin— ruined!” He takes a swing of his drink. “It happened so fast… Shelly took us to the money… and I’ll tell you something, Mickey he knows his shit, he does!” You back away from his raging tone, fingers wrapping together in front of you listening intently.

“So Shelly takes us to the money, right, it’s in this safe and we have him on his knees when he opens it,” He pauses drinking the rest of his whisky in one go before pouring himself another glass. “I’m looking at this guy thinking to myself holy fuck! How the fuck was he able to do this, steal two million right from under our nose when bang.” He slams the bottle of whisky down hard on the counter beginning to faintly laugh at what happens.

“Johnny caps him, he caps Shelly!” He’s shouting, body turning and stepping towards you with free hand making drastic gestures. “Blood goes flying everywhere! All over me! All over the money! I have no idea if this is even all of it.” Harry swallows back the alcohol while your watching him with heavy eyes crossing your arms over your chest, you can’t help but think to yourself how when even upset with neck going red and thundering voice, Harry still looks so handsome.

“And right then, I go through the roof and punch the dumb son’ of a bitch! I punch him Y/N, right in his dumb fucking face, I didn’t give a shit whose son he was! I just wanted to hit him again, smack some sense into the idiot,” Your eyes immediately look at his bruise knuckles covered in dried blood.

“I mean look at the shit that I gotta fucking deal with now!” He continues, walking off with drink in one hand and other pointing angrily at the money in the sink.

“What are you going to do with it?” You ask turning around, your heels click against the floor boards as Harry begins going through the cabinets.

“I told them to run it through the cycle ya’ know but no! Mickey calls up the old man and he has no other plans so he wants to pick up the money tomorrow night!” Your heart picks up with eyes going wide, Lorenzo coming over tomorrow! You follow over to Harry crouched under the sink. “Where’s the laundry detergent?”

“It’s in the linen cabinet.” You say, eyes floating back to the pile. The sound of him walking off to retrieve it sounds in your ears while you never take your gaze off what sits in front of you.

Two million, all in hundreds, just there. It was alarming that this is where you found yourself six months into your relationship with Harry. You knew from your friends at the gentlemen’s club that he was part of a certain ‘business’ but, once you saw him actually taking the relationship serious and begun confiding, you found out that he had serious connections, and it was clear then what your options were; stay at Jaspers or be a good little doll and spend the rest of your time by his side.

You’ve experienced crazy shit in the last six months together, but nothing like this. The rest of your night was spent cleaning money; soaking it in laundry detergent, hanging them as if they were on a clothing line, Harry would then press them out with an iron before running it through the money counter. That’s all you heard that afternoon, the sound of money. Eventually, six months turns into four years and what you experienced that night didn’t even shake what you’ve seen for the remainder of your relationship. It use to be easy; being able to block out the blood, the screaming, the fighting; you remember not even flinching when waiting in Harry’s Rolls at the shed of light from the assassination outside the car. It weighs on your mind heavy that you’ve grown accustomed to the violence that you’ve begun questioning when you lost your humanity?

You remember feeling scared to shoot a gun when he took you to the range, and now you didn’t even budge. So many things became so normalized to you that in the last four months you were having a realization about the life you once lived and how you became so desensitized. You remember when all you would do is relax: go to the spa, get facials, go shopping, weekly manicures and pedicures appointments until now, you don’t even remember what it’s like to have a night out with your girlfriends since you’re always by Harry’s side.

“Please! I’m sorry! Please!”

Lenny is screaming as the sound of his face smashing against the toilet thunders from inside the bathroom. Your heart is hammering in your chest, teeth biting down on the cherry stain flesh as you feel tears begin to swell your eyes.

“You want to fuck with him right, so now ya’ have to deal with us!” Johnny shouts over him with the sound of gargling being heard next. You immediately press the blend option on the margarita machine to drown out the screaming being heard through the door.

Moments like this make you wish you kept your little condo, how you would have used it for instances like this where Harry would bring someone over to interrogate. You loved the large windows and open living room, it was the perfect size for you. Remember having sleepovers with your friends or lounging in on a Sunday afternoon just in your oversized t-shirt and underwear. You missed your old life, the one that wasn’t filled with bloodshed.

The smell of Baccarat Rouge fills your nose with the feel of warm hands gathering your hair onto one shoulder before they’re trailing down your hips, lips pressing against the skin of your neck when he wraps himself around you. Sucking in a shaky breath, your fingers release the button causing the crushed ice to halt its movements.

“Harry, I’m leaving.” You state, eyes looking at the light green mixture as your fingers fall to the marble counter. You turn around in his hold with tears brimming your eyes, Harry looks at you with a frown on his face, the hands on your waist pull you deeper into him.

“What… why?” He questions, a smile soon shines. “I didn’t use the good towel.”

You roll your eyes pushing him away as you lace your arms together looking up at him upset. “I’m serious Harry. I can’t take this anymore,” You rush, brushing past him with beating heart as you begin making your way towards the stairs. The last couple of months you would tell him that this was becoming too much to bare; screaming men, blood stain clothes and white powder being the only thing you’ve seen for the last four years, you’re tired of it.

That makes him rush to grasp your hands in both of his, pulling you back into him with the sound of muffle crying ringing throughout the space causing you to break. Lonesome tears trail down your cheeks when he tugs you back into his chest, your swallowing quick breaths looking at the white door and the activities going on behind it.

“Why? Ah’ you see,” His hand tearing away from yours and going to wipe your tears. Just like always, the simple gesture has you remembering why you fell in love with him in the first place, not what’s partaking in the background. “Baby that’s what I love about you, you’re so sensitive.” Harry spreads his fingers along your heated cheeks to reach and cup your jaw in his hand. He’s holding you there just like when he rocks into your throat beautifully, he knows what he’s doing, knows that the thoughts that are flowing in his mind is also flowing in yours.

“But I like you here…” He says, stepping in with his lips brushing against yours. “I want you to stay.” His lips sink to touch, your eyes slipping shut as the delicious taste of him seeps in your mouth. The hands once tangled with his run against the material of his chest. Honey bourbon gracing itself on your tongue as he twists himself around you, only making you hum pleasantly before pulling away from him.

“You know�� this is hard on me too,” He mutters stepping forward to rock you back and fourth, running kisses down the curve your neck as his hands leave their place and grip your backside. Harry knew what to do just to have you right where he wants, have you drunk off just the small taste of him.

“I’ll tell Johnny to shut him up okay? Is that okay baby?” He whispers in your ear. You swallow hesitantly while nodding your head. Harry reaches into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet he takes out his credit card and waves it in front of your face, small smile on his lips while you have a straight one. “Even better get out of the house and go shopping.” He doesn’t even wait for you to react, he shoves it in your palm before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

Pulling away from you his body turns to open the drawers few rows down, he’s grabbing a pair of clippers that make you look away from the metal and back to the melting ice. His footsteps echo against the wooden flooring as he opens the door to the bathroom, the cries are much louder with the shuffle of moving feet.

“Shut this guy up would ya’ Johnny.”

This was the routine lately, say you’re leaving and him winning you back with sweet words and his touch. Telling you to go shopping or on vacation if it was weighing down on your mind that much, this was how it always was now. Chauffeur, champagne, and spending your time in Saint Laurent just thinking about how you got here. If this dream life of being apart of the mafia was what you expected or what your friends gushed about.

You spent your whole evening stepping into each store and buying whatever looks good on you without checking the tag. It’s funny that was what you did now, you use to penny pinch and save your last by the time it was payday till you reached Jaspers. Now, you only shop at name brand stores and dine at restaurants you never thought you would be seated in. The reality of your dreams came true but to what expense? You didn’t have anyone to do it with but Harry. Friends beginning to feel scared around you, security becoming suspicious among normal civilians which leads you to the point where you’re here right now, drinking champagne by yourself in Vivienne Westwood.

By the time you made it home Harry was sitting on the couch, slouched over on his knees with the highlights of the baseball game this afternoon playing. His head snaps towards the elevator, smile on his face as you step through, the chauffeur politely placing your bags on the table next to the entrance before smiling to leave.

“Did you buy the whole store?” He chirps, lips widening as you make your way towards the sofa and place the rest of your shopping on the coffee table. You fit yourself next to him, your arm lying against the cushion while your elbow props up your head.

Harry turns towards you his eyes roaming amongst your face till they fall on the long sleeve black dress you ventured out in, his stare drinking you in as he looks at your lips longingly. You let him admire you through, remembering when he first saw you at Jaspers and he would look at you like this, trying to control himself from pining you down and having his way. As he cherishes your beauty you can’t help but do the same. His hair dishevelled with gel as loose curls fall across his forehead, there are buttons undone exposing his chest tattoos with his flesh red and cheeks glowing from the alcohol in his system, even in this state he looks so dazzling. Licking your bottom lip it breaks his trance, he reaches over and lights a cigarette as he leans back into the couch.

“I wish you would stop smoking those,” You say, hand going to the curls by his neck.

“I wish you would stop telling me you’re leaving.” Turning to look at you with liquor on his breath and eyes glossy, he draws in his cigarette. Biting down on the inside of your cheek, you break the gaze and let them lead to the white and orange bags in front of you, fingers dropping from his neck you card them through your hair and shake your head.

“I don’t know when I became so use to it H. I —I feel like I’m not me anymore?” You confide, tone small while he nods his head, still looking at you when he’s inhaling as his free hand begins running up your thigh.

“I understand baby, you know I understand.” He coos, the smell of whiskey fills your nose as he moves in deeper. His addicting aura swaying you with the way his presence is so magnetic; he wasn’t even touching you intimately, yet already you were under his control.

“It’s hard sometimes but that’s why I do this job, right… and that’s why you,” He’s tearing the hand away from his lips and letting his thumb run against your cheek, your eyes move away from the bags and lock with his green ones. “You sit and look pretty, yeah?” He says nodding his head. You push your lips together, gaze dropping to the cross hanging on his chest.

“Is that all I am to you now?” You question. “Just a pretty face?”

His thumb doesn’t stop its movements and his gaze doesn’t wavier when he shakes his head either. He was so intimidating with his tactile actions and slow movements. It didn’t help that he was handsome too, because even when you’re questioning your place in Harry’s life your panties are dripping with the way he’s looking at you.

“You already know that but, you also know that I love you for reasons more than your beauty.” Voice deep and dripping in honey as he searches your eyes; like when he had you to himself for the first time, staring at you as if he could see right through, as if he knew every thought brewing. He’s taking the cigarette back between his lips to suck on the batch before throwing it into the ashtray.

“I know I haven’t been around here lately, know I’ve been out dealing with everything but I need you here, keep my bed nice and warm, right?” Nodding your head, you lean off your arm and take Harry’s hands into yours. Feeling over every prominent vein and bone, running the pads of your fingertips over his knuckles as his lips press into the side of your neck, cologne and smoke immediately overwhelming you.

“You love me?” You ask, his fingers intertwining with yours as he begins trailing his kisses to your cheeks.

“I love you like the moon loves the stars.” He breathes against your skin, his words sloppy and low that it has you moaning softly.

His lips slip onto yours, tongue delving into your mouth and wasting no time to lick into every part. Salvia dripping from his tongue and into every crevice as his hand spreads over your thighs, shoving your body deeper into the couch as he drinks you in. Muscles moving against each other, breathless whimpers escaping the space, your fingers trail to his broad shoulders as he presses against you.

You know he’s drunk, that’s all you taste on his tongue aside from the cigarette. He was rocking his hips into your heat steadily as your almond nails run up the hairs of his neck, your lips tearing away when you look at him. Olive pupils with bruise lips, the smell of him was everywhere, you couldn’t leave him even if you tried he was so addicting like the nicotine in the air.

“Hm, you’re gonna stay here with me,” Harry says, leaning back on his knees to unbutton the rest of his long sleeve as you open your legs up in front of him. “Keep the fire nice and warm.” He hush, his fingers sliding to your thighs and slipping under the material to feel against your skin.

You suck in a breath, watching him slowly as he hovers over you between your legs, one hand rubbing you over the lace of your panties and the other rubbing the skin of your neck. You love when he submits his dominance over you, how he’s staring at you daringly and never breaking eye contact as he touches the most pleasurable part.

“Harry,” You breathe, eyes fluttering when he slips his finger under the lace and begins to run the the pads of his fingers in heavy circles.

He hums at the expression crossing your face, watching the way your chest heaves up and down and hips twitch for sped up movements. Tongue escaping his mouth and running over his bottom lip, your eyes catch on the thickness bulging against his zipper. Your hand immediately going out and feeling over him. He was hard like when you danced for him the first time, your hips swivelling against his in slow movements as you rode him through his clothes. You felt how desperate he was begging to be freed and find himself buried in your walls, however that night he didn’t get access to what he has now. Only making the groan in his throat more drawn out as the pressure on your neck increases.

“Be my good girl, yeah?” He breathes, hips rocking in your moving palm as he slips his finger into you. Moans trail out as your gaze turns away from the black trousers and to pearly white teeth tucking his bottom lip away.

Nodding your head lightly you let your hands begin to undo the buckle of his belt, pulling down the metal zipper and retrieving the thickness that you want buried between your legs. Mouth watering at the sight, your tongue slithers out of your mouth to run against the skin of his head. Lapping around the girth till your running down the length, tastebuds coating him in spit as he stands angry and red before you.

You’re so caught up in the beauty of Harry, that the pleasure he sends your way is one of shock, his finger leaving your folds to skim against your clit to delve back in you again. Motions starting slow to soon pick up in pace as the palm of his hand rubs against your bundle of nerves, his middle finger sending arousal down your thighs. Moans of pleasure leave your lips when you look at him, one hand jerking off his cock while the other plays with the globes between his legs, you let your lips envelope him; plump and glossy expanding over every vein along his shaft.

He continues to let his finger slip in you so teasingly as you moan around him, gaze caught between his happy trail and into his green eyes, how they are focus on your lips wrapped around him that leave lipstick streaks in their wake. You’re tipsy off just the feel of him, his hand holding your neck as he rocks into your mouth happily, groans leaving him as he fits himself nicely in your throat.

Another digit joins his movements, walls dripping in your juices as they welcome the extra fit. A long muffle cry escapes you as he spreads your walls blissfully, your mouth stretching with each thrust of Harry sinking down while he has you completely spread open in the living room. His fingers curling deeply in your pussy as your chest heaves with every breath before he’s sliding back down your throat.

Skin begins to glisten with sweat, hands going sticky with spit as you stoke him, eyes fighting to look up at him and the tattoos peaking from his button up. You let your hips swivel against his palm, rubbing your clit deeper into his touch as he slides in, it causes your mouth to slip Harry’s cock out with a pleasurable moan with the way he’s driving his fingers into your heat.

He’s been watching you wither underneath him since he had you in this position, looking at you come undone with only two fingers. He loves the expression on your face; brows pinch together as your small hands glide up his shaft, pink roaming amongst your cheeks to your breast begging to be freed from their confines. Harry lets you get off in his hands, he likes the way you rub yourself in his palm, he likes the way your arousal is coating him, he likes how you’re so needy for him.

Mouth electing another moan at the feeling of him sinking deeper he catches your gaze, Harry gliding his thumb over your bottom lip, their smudge red from you running them all over his member as your fingers lazily stroke him, he’s following your motions with your hips only causing your head to lean back with pleasure.

“Fuck Harry,” You cry, hips runting deeper into him when he leans down letting his lips connect with yours. The delicious taste of him spreading over you as he licks his way into your mouth feels like heaven. Adrenaline courses through your body as you twirl your tongues against each other completely lost in the way he’s making you feel and running through your veins. He smells so good, taste so exquisite, why did you ever think you could just leave. The way he makes you feel is why you stay through all the fucked up things so, why even put up a fuss when you knew where you would be once the sunsets.

“Come here love,” Harry says, pulling his embrace away from you and making you stand up. You pull your dress over your head, letting your fingers teasingly remove your undergarments as you know Harry is watching as he tugs at himself.

He lets you lie with your back against his chest, head on his arm as he takes himself into his hands and begins to run his dick over your folds. Pleasant sigh leaving when you’re lifting your thigh up to angle with Harry’s hips just in the right moment to were he slips into your pussy. The thickness of him stretching you out has you moaning loudly with your head falling deeper into his touch.

Harry sinking into you for the first time will always surprise you, the way he fills you up so thick and heavy, drawing down your walls lazily till he reaches your cervix before sliding out and pushing back in. He was always so gentle before he felt you loosen up around him, feeling the way you drip down his length and quiver with each draw of his hips.

There was a mixture of moans, whimpers, cries and groans shared between you both and floating around the heated atmosphere. His free hand holding your thigh up as he picks up his paste graciously. He’s lunging into you, chest clinging to his button up that is soaked with sweat as he leans in and presses kisses into your damp skin. The hairs by the end of your neck cling to you as your body moves with every thrust.

“Who’s gonna make you feel like this?” Harry taunts, his cock driving down your walls angrily as he fucks you. You can’t help the whimper that travels out from his words with the way he’s burying you into the couch.

“Huh? Who’s gonna fuck you like this if you leave?” Voice in your ear so deep and sexy that it makes you take your hand away from the grey leather and run them through his curls, head turning as your mouth hangs slightly open as your body rakes with complete ecstasy.

“Mhm… look at your pretty face,” Harry says, dropping your thigh and wrapping his hand around your throat, only making you sigh out in pleasure as you feel rushed kisses and the sound his hips meeting your backside overcoming the interviewers on tv.

“No one can fuck you like this, right?” He’s huffing in your ear, grip tightening around your throat as your eyes flutter open, the burning sensation of your clit throbbing in pleasure tingling down your thighs. Shaking your head in between movements your fingers trail themselves out of his curls and to the hand on your neck, feeling over his touch as he pounds down your walls. His movements so deep and fast that you can’t even speak anymore, not even cry out in pleasure.

“That’s right, no one can fuck you like me, huh.” He continues, his teeth biting down softly on your cartilage as the vibrating feeling of your orgasm cashes down on you.

God, you hate that he was so proud with the way he can have you coming undone and knowing just how. The way he rams into your heat with such aggression that it has your eyes rolling back and nails digging into the skin of his hand, the grip he’s holding on your throat only making your motions escalate to your hips quivering away from Harry’s at the exploding feeling drumming in your core.

Chest heaves up and down as your lower half twitches against him, eyes fluttering up at the chandelier high in the ceiling to the oak spiral staircase, your mind in a complete haze as you shudder against Harry, his shaft still pumping away inside you as you try to collect yourself from the riveting feelings coursing through you.

“Look so sexy all over me,” He husks, your creaminess sliding down his cock as he releases the hold on your throat. His hand slips to your stomach burning in arousal as holds you there, his hips not letting up as he continues to fuck you into the sofa.

“Oh god Harry please,” You cry, eyes opening and following his movements as you let your hands trace over his and backside meet his movements. “Come in my pussy, please.” You whimper, his teeth tearing away from your ear and lips sticking to your temple as he hums to your words.

“That’s right baby. Only I can come in your pussy cause you’re all mine, right?” He utters, fingers dragging over the skin of your stomach as you nod your head softly.

“Yes all yours.” You sigh, teeth biting down on your lip as the feeling of him stretching you out has you lightheaded.

“Fuck you look so good like this,” Harry breathes into your warm skin, his hand wiping the strands of hair off your lips. He looks at the way your throat bobs with each lazy swallow, listens to the tiny whine you make when his balls press right against your folds, feels the way he slides into you effortlessly from the juices flowing out that he can’t help the long groan that escapes him when he feels his seed spill into your walls.

Your arousal mixing with his runs down your sweaty thighs while heavy breaths escape you, your version lies tirelessly on the packages in front of you while Harry’s hand goes to play with the hairs framing your face when you move around in his hold.

It’s quiet for a few minutes, the television playing as he tangles his fingers through your locks and lets the other drape down the expanse of your stomach. The sound of his heart slows as does yours in the space between you both. Lungs finding balance with feet tangling together, the sound of Harry sighing behind you makes you turn your attention to him.

“I know you want to leave but just stay. Just for a little longer.”

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles one shots #smuttyaf #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #hs #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles fandom #harry styles fic rec #mafia au #mafia harry styles #harry styles mafia #mafia!harry

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sukiipjs · 2 months

Text

✿ RAIN LIKE BULLETS

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

↳ matt sturniolo x fem reader

↳ words - 877

↳ summary - you were always randomly anxious when a storm started, luckily matts always there to help you.

↳ contains - fluff, use of y/n, use of pet names (baby), anxiety, idk

↳ song - rises the moon by liana flores

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

my head lays on matt’s chest, my eyes closed in a deep sleep, matt as well as his arms spread out on the bed. suddenly my body jolts up and my eyes flash open, my first sound that i hear when i awaken is the clap of thunder outside.

i lift my head off matt, blinking my eyes, peaking out the window. raindrops like bullets run down the glass, loud thunder and lightning shining in the sky over and over.

i’ve always gotten irrationally anxious and i guess scared during storms like this, ever since my childhood. no idea why, i just do, it’s stupid i know but it’s just how i am.

my heart starts to beat faster as another bolt of lightning strikes. i sit and stare at the rain that bounces off the window, my hands slightly shaking as i follow a few drops as they run down the glass with my finger, trying to distract myself.

this is stupid, i think as i move my hand away from the cold glass and scoot myself to sit by matt again, leaning against the pillows and headboard.

i close my eyes, trying to focus on my breathing but as soon as i try, i get interrupted by the loud bangs of thunder and rain.

matt being beside me, his eyes open as his hand moves to his face, rubbing his eyes. he blinks a little, “y/n?” he says quiet when he sees i’m not in his arms anymore. his head turns and sees me sitting up, he moves his arms as he pushes himself by me, sitting up too.

“you good?” he stretches his arms in front of him, yawning as he does. my eyes open back up as i speak back, “uh yeah, thunder just woke me up,” my body jumps again as another loud bang approaches us.

his face softens as he sees me flinch, his eyes staring down at my hands as they shake. “are you sure?” he takes one of my hands in his, intertwining our fingers as he speaks concerned. i try to lift my face into a smile, failing but trying, “it’s dumb.”

“no it’s not, what’s wrong? you’re literally shaking,” a small laugh falls from his mouth as his thumb rubs against fingers, “its just-, i don’t know, i get really anxious during storms like this. i don’t know why, it’s stupid” i pull my hand away from him, hiding my face in them as i try to laugh, shaking my head, slightly embarrassed.

“that’s not stupid, baby. come here” he moves to my arm and he rests a hand on my wrist, trying to pull it away from my face. i drop my hands down, moving closer to matt then leaning my head back onto his chest. “i’m scared,” i say soft and quiet as another lightning strikes, my body shaking. still feeling a little embarrassed honestly.

“shhh, i know. you’re okay though,” his hands rest on the top my head, his fingers tangling themselves in my hair. another loud boom and flash of light, i quickly move to wrap my arms around matt. squeezing him as he slowly starts to rock me side to side, “i’m here, you’re okay”

we move in sync as matt starts to hum the tune of a great comfort song i love, rises the moon, the vibration of his voice rings my ears and i start to focus on his song, not the loud storm that roars on near us.

my eyes gently close as i nuzzle my head into matt more as he continues to comfort me, his hands gliding their way around my head, his body swaying with mine, and his soft, faint voice humming the song over and over.

one of his hands move off me as his body leans to the side, reaching out beside the bed to grab his phone and headphones. he types in the song and puts one ear bud in his ear and gives me the other. my head looks up at him and i move my hands from under him to i take the ear bud and i put it in my ear, listening to the song and not the heavy storm outside.

“i love you,” my voice is quiet but he hears, i move my head back to lay on him, faintly closing my eyes again. a low smile comes to matts face as he looks down at my head buried in his chest. “i love you too, we should try and get back to bed though, you okay?” i nod into him as he smiles more, he leans his head down to reach me, kissing my forehead before moving down, off the headboard, his body laying on the bed again.

the sounds of raindrops heavy on the window fills our ears mixed with the gentle song of rises the moon. i grab behind me and pull the blanket over us, covering my head, shielding me from the flashing lightning on the window. “goodnight,” my voice mumbles as i crouch my legs up, “mhm, goodnight” matt turns his head on the pillow as his hands stay tight on me, his fingers trailing on my back, coaxing me back to sleep.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

taglist - @slutforchriss @mattsleftnipple03 @mattsdinosweater @ccolleenn @mixvchelle @leah-loves-lilies @sturn-wrld @redz0nez9 @cheriematt 💞

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jungkookschin · 1 year

Text

not so bossy

summary: An irksome feeling infests Jungkook's system when his girlfriend lets him know that she can't meet up after not seeing him for three weeks. pairing: d1 soccer player!jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff

author's note: idk anything about football/soccer and yes im american so i used the term soccer 🙄lolz, also i got some inspo hearing about these famous athletes and their gfs so i pulled this out of my ass. pls enjoy (or not)! ALSO IF U HAVE ANYTHING U WANT TO TELL ME AB ANY OF MY PICS PLS PUT IT IN THE ASKS (not replies) BC THIS IS A SECONDARY BLOG

“Just because I’m not some big shot D-1 athlete doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t matter,” you grimly convey, eyebrows furrowed in pure vexation whilst your pretty lips curl down in a frown.

Jungkook exhales slightly, his pointer finger and thumb coming up to massage his temples. “Y/N, that’s not what I meant and you know it-“

“Then what the fuck did you mean?” The rapidity by which you cut him off pierces his heart like an arrow, because he’s never witnessed you being so abrasive. It hurts him to know that he’s upset you- that his inconsideration induced such a crestfallen expression from his one and only girl.

“I just didn’t want you to meet up with that guy,” Jungkook quietly explicates, unable to adeptly convey what his true intentions were: that he just missed you and didn’t want you to hang out with some other guy, even if it was just to study.

A scoff escapes your mouth, your obsidian orbs glaring bullets into him. “Jungkook, we were studying. It was for school. You of all people should understand that,” you sneer, your harsh words making his heart drop, the unpleasant feeling of guilt infesting his system, because he knows you’re right. Knows he’s been a shitty fucking boyfriend. Knows that you’ve been nothing but understanding, that you've been his personal angel ushering heaven to him, a task you accomplished everyday of every second.

Jungkook’s reticent silence tells you everything you need to know. “Don’t talk to me for the rest of the day,” you murmur quietly, though loud enough to make the words thunder in his heart. You turn your heel to walk away from him, your arms securely hugging your textbook to your chest, as if you were subconsciously shielding yourself from him. He hates that so much.

Jungkook stands frozen, unable to chase after you like he wants to. His heart is screaming at his brain make his motor system send his body after you..Instead, your figure disappears into the crowd of students flooding the hallways and he’s left there with regret plaguing his system.

How did this even happen?

Jungkook vividly remembers that dreadful text message you sent whilst he was on the bus, heading back from fall training camp.

y/n ♡: hi baby, im so so sorry. i dont think i can make it to our date tonight. this senior in my class asked me if i wanted to join a study group with him and i want to go so i do good on my final :( sorry baby.

Jungkook's lips immediately curl down at the message. Despite quite literally sharing an apartment together, he hadn't physically seen you or touched you in three weeks. With travelling out of town for a tournament for a week, and his two week long training camp immediately proceeding the tourney, he hadn't gotten the chance to come home and see you. Your absence had a deep and profound effect- he had to drown himself with intense physical training to distract himself from the fact that you weren't around.

Jungkook is a D-1 soccer player- one of the best in the nation- predicted to be one of the top picks in the first round of the Major League Soccer super draft. He takes his craft very seriously, centers most of his attention on his body and mind to refine his physical ability and ultimately become one of the best soccer players in the world. Since high school he often opted for a nasty gym session over a party, admiring Messi and Ronaldo over pretty girls, and even went to his club soccer tournaments over attending prom.

That was- until he met you.

The university you and Jungkook attended was widely renown for its impeccable soccer program- and computer science program. By God's grace was he assigned to you for a group assignment freshman year. Your face was slightly flushed when you kindly uttered "Hey, I know you're a huge athlete or something, so I don't mind carrying the project if you have to focus on sports." In reality, your intentions were selfish, solely concerned about your own grades and how this group project may cause them to fall, but Jungkook still thought it was the cutest thing ever.

He appreciated the consideration, but gently let you know that he was certainly able bodied and willing to complete the assignment. Had you not been so pretty, if the way you pushed your glasses up your face not been so adorable, he would have gladly taken the offer, not being quite privvy to anything academic related.

But you were arguably the cutest girl he's ever seen, so he was willing and eager to put in the effort.

Feelings blossomed, cavernous eyes gazed into each other and Jungkok kissed you for the first time. Seeing that you enthusiastically reciprocrating his energy, Jungkook took it as a sign that he scored the girl of his dreams. Group projects lead to late night calls and incredibly vulnerable talks in his car, then arcade dates to salacious movie nights. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend with a bouquet of the most delicately beautiful roses you've ever seen.

Jungkook thanked God everyday for your naturally compassionate nature, and for when you assuaged all his dreadful anxieties about not be an adequate and involved boyfriend. You understood that the nature of your relationship with him would not always be the most attentive- that he had no choice but to sort of neglect you when he had to travel over state and country borders for the sake of his athletic career.

You understood it and you whole heartedly offered your bona fide support.

You appeared at his games with cute red bows binding the curls in your hair, his oversized red jersey thrown perfectly over your precious abdomen. His perfect cheerleader, his number one motivator- and his teammates certainly appreciated you because he performed better when you were in the stands oggling at him with your starry eyes. He had to play better when his girl was in the crowd.

When you weren't able to be physically present at his games, you sent him the most adorable selfies of you streaming the game on your TV, laptop, or phone, going the extra mile to snag a selfie whilst Jungkook was in the frame of your device.

It really is common knowledge that Jungkook adores his girlfriend. In fact, anybody can tell by looking at the measly three photos on his verified Instagram account (courtesy of the NCAA). There was one photo of Jungkook and his teammates from a few years ago, all men have their hands on their cut and bruise heavy knees. They've got gold medals around their necks, ginger smiles on their faces after winning some summer league tournament.

The second photo was from last year when the men's soccer team at your university won the NCAA Division 1 Men's Soccer tournament, and rather than a photo with his teammates, there is one of him and you. Jungkook who was drenched in sweat from an intense yet rewarding game has his hands wrapped around your waist in the photo, leaning down and pressing a kiss on your cheek whilst you smile gleefully. His gold medal is adorned around your neck, resting on your chest rather than his. The caption reads "scored the winning goal for my number one girl", and the comments are permeated with "awwws" and "how cute!" Of course, you are slightly suspicious of the genuiniety of those comments since most of them are from girls who have a crush on him. How do you know that? You just do, consider it girlfriend intuition.

The most recent photo is simply a gorgeous photo of you at dinner. It was from his point of view- his prettiest view when you were sitting across from him enjoying your steak in a strapless black mini dress. In the photo your french manicured fingers are gripping your wine glass, the stain of your lipstick visible at the edge of the cup. The expanse of your neck is visible, making your aura all the more alluring. Your hair is in a sleek bun with the exception of the face framing pieces that dangle on the sides of your face.

You remember that day, Jungkook looked so dashing in his black button up and slacks, and when he presented you with another bouquet of red roses you melted since they were the same flowers he asked you to be his girlfriend with.

The caption is simply a black heart.

Jungkook shuts his phone off and throws it on his bed, hands rubbing his face as he groans into his palms. After you told him not to speak to you for the rest of the day, he meandered back to your shared apartment, earnestly anticipating your return home. The intoxicating scent of your vanilla body spray fills the room, making him all the more miserable.

He knows that he wasn't giving you the attention necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship, that he wasn't amply putting his share into it, but his mind was so trained on soccer that it hadn't occurred to him to check on up on you. He winces at a certain memory where he was so entranced in practicing penalty kicks that he completely forgot about your date at the pumpkin patch. He went home wondering where you were, and his heart dropped when you marched into the home, slamming the door and refusing to speak to him. After profusely apologizing and making it up to you, you later forgave him and everything returned to its usual nature.

But this time was different, because it is 2AM, and you're still not home, causing Jungkook to fall deeper into his despondency.

He spammed you with so many pleading text messages, his eyes scanning over each and everyone as his thumb scrolls further and further to the history of your shared messages.

[2:52 AM] jungkook: y/n baby im so anxious right now. please let me know where you are. i wont go to bed unless i know that you're safe. you don't need to come home or talk to me, just send me your location so that i know you're okay. im so sorry and i love you so much.

As his thumb scrolls up, his texts from earlier in the night appear.

[11:38 PM] jungkook: baby where are you? im starting to get worried about you. please come home.

[9:12 PM] jungkook: my love, the food is getting cold. if you come home we can still enjoy a meal together.

[8:24 PM] jungkook: baby, i know you're upset at me. please let me make it up to you. i cooked your favorite meal, and we can eat together once you get home. i'm here waiting for you.

A soft exhale leaves his lips, his thumb scrolling all the way back to the same stupid argument that triggered all of this.

When Jungkook first received the first message, it inevitably upset him. A grimace on his face and the furrow on his eyebrows indicated as much. He missed you so much and was looking forward to seeing you so fucking badly. He longed to feel your body against his, the thought of you keeping him up all of last night. He missed your pretty face, the vanilla scent of your soft hair, and the way you made him feel so complete. So, of course he's upset. The first thing that caught him off guard was that you were cancelling on him after three weeks apart. The second thing that caused a deeper furrow in his brows was irksome personal pronoun: him.

Were you really going to ditch him to hang out with some guy? He was trying to be understanding considering the rigor of the university's computer science program- and wanted you to do everything you could to maintain your perfect grade point average. Nonetheless, he was already pouting at the announcement of your absence.

jungkook: him?? who's this senior?? and are u sure u guys cant reschedule?? miss my girl too much

y/n♡: i miss u too, im so sorry,, it's just that this code is really fucking hard and jaebum offered to help so obvi i accepted lol

Jungkook's concern morphs into unamusement, because he is very familiar with this motherfucker. He sighs deeply, reminiscing when his teammate Hoseok approached him and informed him about a certain Jaebum making inappropriate comments about his girlfriend. Not inappropriate as in sexual, grotesque, or expletive. Had that been the case Jungkook would have beaten the shit out of the guy and risked playing the next season. The type of inappropriate Hoseok intended to express was that Jaebum was going around calling you cute- you, a girl who clearly was not single. Jungkook never explicitly told you about this, not really concerned that it would have a significant impact on your very healthy relationship, but it still displeased him.

He wasn't able to constrain his words, mentioning something when he witnessed Jaebum clearly flirting with you when he picked you up from class.

"Jungkook don't worry," you giggled. "He's just a senior in my class- he's really smart so he was giving me some homework advice."

Jungkook tensed at that. "Alright babe, just be careful."

After that, Jaebum really wasn't ever mentioned or considered. He fully trusted you so Jungkook wasn't worried, until at that very moment.

jungkook: babe

jungkook: i thought we already talked about this

jungkook: that guy literally likes you

y/n♡: ewwww lol dont put that idea in my head😭 gross

jungkook: y/n, im serious

jungkook: he really does, i can tell when someone wants u its my boyfriend intuition

y/n♡: okay baby, and if he does??? u dont trust me??

jungkook: ofc i do, but it makes me uncomfortable to know that he invited you to a “study group” , who knows what he’s planning???

jungkook: who else is gonna be there??

y/n♡: it’s just gonna be us, but i promise u u dont have anything to worry about. uk how this class has been kicking my ass.. and jaebum is the only one with an a

Jungkook uses his pointer finger and thumb to massage his temples. The thought of you and this guy studying together enkindles something vile in his system, but nonetheless he chooses to trust you since he knows how important school is to you. However this irksome feeling bubbles in his chest, and he feels like has just has to do something about it.

The next message he sends is his last attempt to assuage the undeniable burning in his chest.

jungkook: i know, can i at least come with? to make sure he doesnt do anything weird?

y/n♡: i don't think it's a good idea. i dont want things to be uncomfortable

Jungkook scowls at that. Weird? Why would him tagging along be anything of the sort? More importantly, why were you choosing to protect Jaebum’s feelings over his?

jungkook: lmao uncomfortable? are u two planning to fuck on the table or something , why would my presence make things “uncomfortable”?

Jungkook winces when his eyes train on that very ill intended text message. He knows damn well he crossed the line with that one, but your response didn’t indicate that you were upset, probably dismissing it as one of his stupid jokes.

y/n♡: jeon jungkook🙄🙄

y/n♡: i’ll see u tonight at home baby💗💗

Jungkook knows he should have left it at that, but three weeks without having you with him were so excruciating, and he longed for you so so much. He loves being an athlete; he loves playing soccer, but the intense drills and back to back games have been agonizingly tough on his body that all he wanted was to cuddle up against you in your cozy and comfy bed. Maybe have a little movie night and give you a little massage though it was his muscles that were sore and tense. But no, you had to study with some slimy guy. Consider him salty.

When the bus dropped the men’s soccer team off on campus, he bid his farewells to his teammates, and for some strange reason his legs just start walking to the library. Huh, how strange. What an anomaly it was for his feet to randomly move by themselves!

He acts very nonchalant, hands shoved into his sweats whilst he wanders between the dozens of book shelves arrayed in the campus library. Nonetheless, his eyes are rapidly shifting toward every corner in the library, in hopes that he “accidentally” runs into you.

Jackpot.

You and Jaebum are sitting adjacent to each other at an occupied table, both of your eyes trained on your Macbook screen. Jungkook puts a hand on his chin, acutely scrutinizing the situation at hand. The distance of your chairs is quite satisfactory to Jungkook- not too close, but he would appreciate it if you were further away. Jaebum is very clearly giving you a lovestruck gaze, and when he scoots his chair closer to yours Jungkook narrows his eyes.

Jaebum is such a fucking weirdo, his hand creepily advancing towards yours that is resting by the keyboard, and you are so exceedingly focused on your screen that you fail to notice. You randomly remove your hand away from where it rests on the table, and scratch your head with it. Once you turn towards him, his close proximity startles you, and you jerk your chair back in the opposite reaction, the most mortified look on your face.

Jungkook isn’t the best at reading lips, but Jaebum is currently expressing something to you, the most awestruck look on his face and Jungkook scoffs at that, clearly understanding the situation. Without thinking he advances towards you, pulling your chair back with a tight grip whilst he looks daggers into the man. “Can you please stop hitting on my girlfriend?”

Your head whips around at the voice of your boyfriend, but it goes unnoticed by Jungkook whose attention is soley on the man.

Jaebum scoots his chair back a little bit, scratching his head. “Sorry man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend-“

And before Jungkook can interject you speak up. “I’ve told you many times that I have a boyfriend- and quite frankly I’m appalled that you’re trying to make a pass toward me when we agreed that we would be studying,” you say firmly which induces a goofily proud smile to appear on Jungkook’s face.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I-I just really like you and didn’t know how else to talk to you," Jaebum elaborates in attempts to elicit some sort of sympathy from you. His attempt is entirely futile, and you ask him to leave, already vexxed by his inappropriate shot at making a pass at you.

You begrudgingly saunter behind Jungkook, the two of you leaving the library. Jungkook, who is acting under the assumption that you are annoyed by Jaebum, reaches out for your hand, falling into confusion when you rip your hand away from his.

"Babe?-" his eyes round, uneasy at your dissonance.

You exhale deeply, eyes apprehensively glancing around at anybody who may be eavesdropping. "Why the fuck did you follow me?" you whisper shout at him, hands thrown down petulantly.

"I was worried about you," he clarifies, not even bothering to claim that it was a mere coincidence. "And I missed you so much," his tone glosses over softly. He steps forward to embrace you, and the air shifts once you put your hands on his chest and push him away from you.

"Jeon Jungkook, I clearly told you that I would see you at home," you stonely enunciate.

Irritability spreading throughout his system, he scowls. "It was killing me to think about you being alone with this guy when I was missing you so much, and I told you that he liked you but you didn't listen-"

"I admit I was wrong about that, but I am also perfectly capable of handling myself." You hesitate momentarily, gathering the words before spitting them out hastily. "I think you've made it pretty clear that you don't trust me- which is seriously fucked up."

"What's fucked up is that you were hanging out alone with a guy who clearly likes you! You haven't seen your boyfriend in three weeks and chose to spend your time with some guy rather than with me!" Jungkook fires back, attracting some concerned glances from bystanders.

His postulation enrages you. "Need I remind you why I haven't seen you in three weeks?" you sarcastically inquire, eyebrows creasing in awe at the audacity of this man.

"Babe, I have to leave for soccer, you know that, so don't weaponize it against me," he coldly says, and really, all his words do is spread the indignation through your veins like a wildfire.

"I have never weaponized soccer against you, so don't you dare put fucking words in my mouth," you hiss, giving him the dirtiest look he's ever seen from you.

"I have been nothing but supportive of you. Never said shit when you're out there with a bunch of cheerleaders who like you, and with your teammates that fucking cheat on their girlfriends with those cheerleaders! Yet the moment that I prioritize my academic career over you, you pull some weird shit as if you can't trust me!" you finish, your ice colds words leaving Jungkook frozen as a sculpture, as if nitrogen replaced his blood because he realizes you're right. If he ever spend a moment in your shoes, he would lose his goddamn fucking mind because of his naturally possessive and overprotective nature.

"I'm sorry, that's not what I was trying to say," Jungkook clumsily tries to salvage himself. "I appreciate you so much for always being there for me and when I go pro I'll make it up to you. You'll be my soccer wife, and we'll have a mansion with our kids- I'll buy you whatever you want," he conveys, his feeble attempt of sewing together the cuts of the situation.

Instead of a commiserating look, you give him a look that tells him you're even more irritated.

"That's not the point! You don't get that I don't want my identity to be just Jeon Jungkook's soccer wife. I want to be my own person, have my own successful career," you frustratedly communicate. "Why do you think I'm trying so hard in this stupid fucking coding class? Because I didn't want to see you? I always want to see you, but I have to make sacrifices too. The class average is 56 and Jaebum is the only one with an A, but my life isn't as important as yours so you don't want to be sympathetic of my feelings." You finish, cooling off once you've exploded at him.

Jungkook rips away eye contact with you, looking towards another direction, feeling slightly chagrined at your legitimate display of vexation. "I guess your studying didn't seem as important to me at the time," he abashedly murmurs.

“Just because I’m not some big shot D-1 athlete doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t matter," is how you retort, leaving the situation full circle.

Now, it's 3 AM, and you're still not home. Jungkook feels himself falling into a pit of dilapidation and guilt, feeling so remorseful of how shitty he's been. You truly are his super woman, because he's positively sure that he wouldn't be able to handle it if you did what he had to do on a regular basis. He couldn't even handle it when you were studying with another man, let alone travelling and leaving him at home by himself.

The apartment simply feels so empty, and it makes him feel all the more lonely. When he walks into your shared bathroom, his eyes glossing over your cosmetics and skin care products, he becomes absolutely miserable. Debilitatingly picking up your moisturerizer, he squeezes the bottle, product falling falling into his hand. He looks into the mirror and rubs the ointment into his skin, sighing exasperatingly because he wishes you were standing by his side.

The sound of the door suddenly creaks open, and Jungkook rushes into the living room thinking that you may have returned home. His face immediately falls when Jimin marches into his apartment.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jungkook deadpans.

Removing his shoes at the front of the house, Jimin scoffs. "Why'd you leave your door unlocked at 3 AM?"

Jimin plops down at the dining table, picking at the food Jungkook meticulously prepared for you. "This shit is cold as hell," he mumbles before grabbing the plate and shoving it into the microwave. Jungkook doesn't say anything, just grinds his teeth whilst he lays down on the couch.

"Y/N's not home?" Jimin questions with a mouth full of steak.

"No," Jungkook quietly mumbles, dejected and losing hope that you would return home that night.

"I ran into her a few hours ago," Jimin states casually, causing Jungkook to robotically spring up like a zombie and join Jimin at the dining table. "Where?" Jungkook asks like a crazy man, eyes wide, his veins protruding through the whites in his eyes. Jimin gives his friend a distasteful look before protectively covering the food Jungkook made. Jimin analyzes the situation carefully before it dawns on him that you aren't around.

"She's still not home yet?" Jimin asks, concern spreading throughout his face.

"No," Jungkook squeaks out, discouraged by everything before he bangs his head on the dining room table.

"I ran into her at the mall," Jimin says, attempting to provide some comfort to his younger friend. "We looked around a little bit, but I had to go pick my brother up and then I dropped her off at the gym."

Jungkook pauses, owlishly blanking into space whilst he takes a few moments to fully comprehend what just zoomed past his ears. The sleep deprivation and exhaustion is seriously hindering his cognitive function, but he just can't sleep until he knows that you're safe. "Huh?"

Jimin sighs, rolling his eyes before repeating what he just said. He raises his palm to smack the back of Jungkook's neck, which elicits a gruesome glare from the younger one.

"I ran into your girlfriend at the mall. We looked at the dinosaur exhibit. I dropped her off at the gym," Jimin firmly enunciates.

Apparently this computes more briskly than the first time. "The gym?" Jungkook asks, an amusing look of confusion hazed on his face.

"Yes," Jimin replies, frowning at Jungkook's sluggish responses.

"She went by herself?"

"I don't know," Jimin responds, a hinge of more empathy in his voice. "She said something about a personal trainer but I have no clue what she was doing."

An exasperating sigh leaves Jungkook's lips, too much information for his fatigued brain to compute. He didn't even know you had damn personal trainer- you don't even need a fucking personal trainer when your boyfriend is one of quite literally a D-1 athlete. It's not something he wants to even think about, the prospect of him being a shitty boyfriend plaguing his mind even more.

Jimin's eyebrows furrow in concern for his younger friend, and his hand gingerly pats his friend's rock hard back. "Do you want me to stay the night? Or stay at least until she gets back?" he suggests whilst the younger one buries his handsome face into his large palms.

"Please," Jungkook mutters.

Your unexpected entrance proves that Jimin's request was unecessary, because you casually waltz back into the apartment, making Jungkook practically whip his head towards the sound of the opening door.

"Jimin?" you jabber, a little startled at his unanticipated presence.

"Oh hey Y/N!" Jimin greets you more awkwardly than he ever has before, as if he interrupted something though he was there first. "How was the gym?" he releases a sheepish chuckle, and you internally cringe at his overt display of politeness.

"Oh, um. It was good. Are you planning on spending the night?" you ask, slipping your shoes off as you join the two at the dining table.

"Pshhh, no. Absolutely not! I gotta head home.." his eyes erroneously shift all over the room, poorly concealing how clearly he wants to leave. "Right about.." his head whips down at the non existent watch on his wrist. "Now!" He scoots the chair out and -for some reason- he tiptoes out of the house, bidding you and your boyfriend a farewell as he gently closes the comically creaking door.

You look towards your beloved, Jungkook looking dejectedly at his twiddling hands, avoiding eye contact with you. A soft exhale leaves your lips and you plant your palms on the table, getting up before you approach him. Even when he's sitting down at your wooden dining room chairs, he's only a little bit smaller than you- training and the gym have done him well. This profound emotion of tenderness rushes into your heart, and you bend down, placing a tentative and delicate kiss on his fragile cheeks.

"Wanna come with me to the bedroom?" you ask, gentleness lacing your voice at to hopefully assuage the vulnerability of the situation. It is undeniably true that you were upset- even livid at him, but after mulling it over you realized that he is your one and only. If anybody was deserving of your empathy, it was him.

You stride to the bedroom, settling down on the side of your bed with your big hunk of a boyfriend mimicing your actions like a little puppy.

"I made us bracelets," you blurt out hands digging into your pockets, before you pull out two identical bracelets dangling from your fingertips. The bracelets were childlike at best; you used black plastic beads and yarn, the same type of shit toddlers use in pre school when they learn how to do basic things like cut in zig zag lines. The bracelets are mostly made up of black beads, with a pink heart bead in the center of them.

Your fingers wrap around your boyfriend's larger hands, and you gingerly slide his bracelet on his dainty wrists. You suppose you overestimated the circumference of his wrist, because it hangs off his wrist like a necklace.

Jungkook still hasn't said anything, but finally looks up, and your eyes meet his glossy ones.

When you realize that he's crying, you hand cups his cheek, and you use your thumb to wipe the tears that cascade down his handsome face. "No no no," You're panicked at his sullen state. "Don't cry," you express desperately. "Please don't cry, I'm sorry."

Jungkook gazes at you so intimately and intensely, and he feels as if all his resolve breaks now that you are finally in front of him.

"I-I just didn't want to lose you," Anguish laces his voice, and he sounds so desperate that it makes it feel like your heart is being ripped into pieces. "Thought I was gonna lose you," he whispers, and you're compelled to just hug him- so you turn to him and wrap your arms around his neck, and his automatically snake around your waist, so naturally- like this action was done so out of muscle memory.

He holds you tightly, like he never wants to let go of you, of this. He holds you like he's found his sweet solace in your embrace. His neck finds comfort in the crook of your neck whilst he pours his emotions out into your honeydew skin.

"I can't believe you still love me."

"I can't believe you made me a fucking bracelet even after everything. You're so sweet, so perfect."

"I don't deserve you- you mean everything to me. I swear I'll make everything up to you, just give me one more chance."

You pull back at his words, a concerned haze painted on your face. You settle on your knees to meet him at equal eye contact. "Did you think I was gonna dump you?"

Jungkook tears away his eyes from yours. "I don't know. I thought you were getting sick of me- I guess," and the

You sigh, shifting your weight backwards so that your ass rests on your heels. You gnaw on your bottom lip, finding the right words to say. "Jungkook," you begin, conjuring the courage to verbalize everything you've been itching to say. "I... I have never loved anybody as much as I love you." You inhale, nostrils flaring slightly before you continue your somewhat clumsy attempt to bandage everything.

You speak very steadily so that he can fully digest what you are about to say. "And I don't love you because you're a soccer player, or because you're verified on Instagram, or because you're ESPN thinks you're going to be super successful. I love you because you're you."

Jungkook's undeniable heartbeat is pounding, so loud that he can hear it in his ears. Love. Your love is interpermeating his being, seizing control of him completely and fully. There are no words that can properly encapsulate how he feels. Just Love. Love times a million. "Y/N-"

"Just shut up and let me talk," you cut him off, preparing once again to regurgitate your feelings.

"I just love you so much, and because I love you, I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. You just have to trust me, even if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm an adult- I know what I'm doing."

Jungkook purses his lips perceptively, nodding ever so carefully at your simple yet overflowing explanation.

"It just hurts me that you felt like you couldn't trust me enough to be alone with him. I know I was wrong for not trusting you when you said he liked me, but even if he were to make a move on me, I would never reciprocate or encourage that behavior. I put so much trust in you, and I really want you to work towards putting that same trust in me. And.. I'm sorry for throwing a temper tantrum, I was just embarrassed I guess. "

Jungkook grabs your hand as if the moment is fleeting, his already soft expression softening impossibly more at the sincerity of your words. He holds your hand to his chest, and you can hear the rapid beating of his heart.

"I understand," he automatically expresses, which concerns you because his answer was almost too immediate. You're not sure if he's properly digesting what you are trying to communicate.

"I was just super frustrated- I missed you so much and thinking of you and that guy was killing me. I trust you, but what if he did something to you?" The disclosure of his authentic feelings relieves any doubts you had about the immediacy of his answer.

"Babe, I'm not an idiot," you reply. "I have a taser and it's not like we were in the woods in the middle of the night," you point out which elicits a soft chuckle from Jungkook.

"You're right baby, my girl's a genius," he leans in and presses a familiar and delicate kiss to your bottom lip, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. When he pulls away you're left with a lingering feeling of longing, and he beams at you.

"You just gotta be patient with me, but I swear I'll try to be less," Jungkook takes a moment to find the right word. "Overbearing."

You give Jungkook a pursed smile and nod your head. Before you can respond he presses another delicate kiss to your lips. Though the kiss is fleeting, it's as if your lips mold together perfectly because he knows you and your lips the best. "Thank you for being you," he presses his forehead against your, mumbling against your lips, the utmost sincerity in his voice. "I love you, so so much," he says, hot breath palpable against your lips. "Thank you so much for everything you do. Thank you for understanding, for loving me. You're just- just perfect, perfect for me. Made for me, and I love you so much." His emotions overwhelm him, and his eyes become glossy. "My love for you scares me. The thought of you leaving terrifies me so much, and if you did, I don’t think I would ever recover,” his words are delicate, fragile like he’s a butterfly that could fly away at any moment. It was up to you to keel him grounded.

You close your eyes, savoring the moment of him being so close. " 'm not going anywhere," you hum into his lips, and he sighs blissfully, snuggling more into your protective embrace.

That night, you fall asleep on his chest, his arms instinctively wrapped around you for the entirety of the night.

#jungkook imagines #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook scenarios #soccerplayer!jungkook #jungkook fluff #bts jungkook drabbles #bts imagines #bts jeongguk scenarios #jeongguk fanfic

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killjae · 4 days

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leon catdad fluff cause he’s such a cutiepie, this is for you anon!! i hope you see this :3

this is also my second fic, so please enjoy!! special tags :3 @wriosmilk @scorpiolara

ribbon border made by @cherubify !!!

ermm sweet sickle leon, praise and appreciation, catdad leon!!! you’re surrounded in lovebites!!!!!

it was storming outside, the light pitter patter of rain hitting your windowpanes continuously. the sound of thunder booming every now and then, despite the fact you were huddled under a blanket trying to keep yourself warm while watching a movie.

a ring could be heard from your doorbell as it chimed loudly, the sudden noise making you turn your head towards the door and get up.

your soft footsteps making their way across the floor before your hand reached the doorknob and opened it to a small soaked cardboard box with a wet piece of paper attached to it.

what? who would leave this here? you questioned yourself, unsure of what lies inside of the mysterious box. the thought lingering in your head as you carefully peaked over, the sound of rain filling your ears as it was pouring down outside.

there was no one to be found, who could have done this?

a small mew comes out and startles you. what? it was an animal inside, left out in the rain.

you leaned over and opened the box to find a small calico cat, it was soaked with water and mud in it’s fur as it stared up at you. poor thing. you quickly moved to take it inside despite the water leaving a trail as you brought the box inside along with the note attached.

it read. “i’m giving this cat up for adoption, as i cannot hold another one. i don’t have much time left to foster anymore animals so i’ve been sending them out to be adopted by other loving homes. please take care of her, she’s very loving and energetic when you get to know her.”

the feeling after reading the soggy paper left you with a frown and a feeling of sorrow as you looked down at the kitten once again, another meow could be heard.

you grabbed the kitten despite the mud, fleas and murky water coating your hands before bringing her over to a small bowl and filling it with warm water.

giving her a small dawn-soaped bath getting all the fleas and dirt off of her tiny body as she mewled and whined out, not yet used to the feeling of this new warmth.

she was a beautiful calico cat with a brown heart birthmark on her left cheek, almost reminding you of leon with the way you smiled at her. you wrapped her in a small blanket to keep her warm before calling leon, holding the phone to your ear as you rubbed both her sides in the blanket to warm her up faster.

“i-i found this kitten outside left in a cardboard box, with a note about her owner having a limited time left on this earth. i know you said you wouldn’t want a pet, let alone a cat, but she needs us—“

“…are you kidding? you know i’m not very fond of cats.”

“—leon, come on. she’s a baby, she looks barely 4 years old. plus, i kinda gave her a bath and everything, including the flea treatment and now i just have to get some formula that would be good for her to feed on till she gets big enough on her own.”

“..i’m coming home now.”

“don’t be mad, okay? she’s really cute.”

it wasn’t until twenty minutes later you heard the front door open and leon was taking his work boots off and his uniform before leaving himself in a tanktop and his workpants. you were sitting on the couch, keeping the kitten in your lap as she snuggled into your embrace.

“so, where is she?” leon’s booming voice came from behind as he moved from the side of the couch to sit next to you, his eyes instantly going to the small animal sitting in your embrace.

he lightly gasped seeing her fur pattern and genes before leaning closer to her. “..she’s pretty. you said someone left her on our porch? what a shame they can’t take care of anymore but that doesn’t mean we can foster her.”

“leon. she’s just a baby, a kitten literally. why can’t we keep her?” you tilted your head with a frown, looking at him before he huffed.

“we have to get her spayed, her check-ups, and going to the vet.. that’s a lot, plus YOU like her, i’m not into cats like that.” leon gave you a look, although secretly he was considering the possibilities of keeping the kitten.

“i’ll handle all of that, she’s gonna be my baby. she’s gorgeous and such a beautiful breed.” you smiled, lightly petting the kitten’s fur as she yawned before closing her eyes.

“are you sure? i still think we shouldn’t, and we should wait to get a bigger house.” leon spoke, as he crossed his arms.

little did he know.

months later you three are staying at home on a saturday as he’s throwing a squeaky mouse for your cat to catch. you ended up naming her miri, despite leon’s protest on not keeping her. he protested for a long 12 months, eventually coming to like miri.

“you’re a reall, pretty girl. a good one too, you really like this mouse, huh?” leon chuckled as he watched miri repeatedly chase it with excitement.

you stared at the two of them with a smile, remembering how leon went against keeping her a year ago when she was left on your front porch in the soaking wet rain. that stormy night, you’ll never forget the staying up late and having to change schedules because you two were new cat parents.

“shut up, okay? i know what you’re thinking of. i didn’t realize she’s not that bad and she’s actually pretty adorable.” leon spoke out of nowhere as miri was on his shoulder, nibbling his earlobe and slow blinking to signal she was really comfortable around the two of you.

leon felt a sense of pride and achievement in his life, being a catdad despite his previous attitude in the past.

he was happy to have two beautiful girls in his life that he would die for.

#leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #fluff #cute #cat dad

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yangfleurs · 1 year

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skz reaction: you getting scared during a thunderstorm

masterlist

chan

you shot up out of bed as a loud crack of thunder vibrated through your bedroom. you groaned, dizzy from the sudden noise. another loud clap tore through your home, making your heart thump rapidly against your chest. it was 3 am and you turned to look for chan next to you even though you knew he wouldn’t be there, not with a deadline creeping up on him in a matter of days. again, thunder filled your ears, this time making you yelp. you got under the covers in a hurry, covering your head with your blanket as you nervously anticipated another lightning strike.

but before that, you heard the soft and quick pattering of feet coming to your door. the door opened slowly, and as you peek out from underneath the covers, you see chan shuffling over to you, abandoning his slippers halfway as he quickly rolled under the covers. you immediately inched closer to him and wrapped your arms and legs around him. he did the same, tucking your head into his chest and swiftly covering your ears as the thunder rumbled even louder. as it passed, he looked down at you.

"you alright, baby? must've been so scared." he mumbled, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

even if being pushed up right against him was suffocating you a little, you didn't mind it. not at all, actually---you were so thankful for chan in that moment as his palm laid flat against your ear every time lightning struck turned those strikes of lightning into muffled background noise. you sighed in relief, your body loosening up against chan's.

"thank you, I know you're busy." you mumbled, looking up at him with an apologetic glance.

he shook his head, pushing a few stray hairs away from your face, "you come first. I'll just work a little harder tomorrow." he smiled warmly.

you craned your neck upwards, leaning into him to press a kiss onto his lips. he giggled as you moved away from his lips and peppered his entire face with light pecks.

"what did I do to deserve you?" you sighed, looking at him with a dazed look in your eyes.

"I could ask the same for you." he replied, kissing the top of your head. always a sweetheart, that he was.

just as the sweet moment ended, the lights began to flicker. you both gasped, and you fell back into your initial position, pressed firmly against chan's chest with your head under the covers. the flickering soon turned into a darkness that consumed you and your surroundings.

"I think this is our sign to call it a night," chan laughed breathlessly, "hey, at least the thunder's passed."

"mhmmm." you mumbled, letting out a loud yawn.

"come on, let's sleep." he lowered your pillow to where your head was and played with your hair to help you sleep easier.

"mmm love you, night." you managed to mutter out, hearing chan's "love you, too baby, goodnight." before sleep finally overtook you.

lee know

you were in the kitchen, stirring the food atop your stove and humming along to the song playing on the stereo when a loud strike of lightning followed by immediate darkness filled your apartment. you shrieked at the sudden pitch black surrounding you as you blindly felt around in an attempt to find your phone. you failed to find it, realizing you'd left it in the bedroom in a rush to start working on dinner before your boyfriend came home. you took a deep breath as you adjusted to the darkness before finally managing to turn off the stove.

another bolt of thunder ripped through your home, making it feel like the ground beneath your feet was shaking. you yelped again, falling to your knees as it unsteadied you. you covered your ears as you heard the next lightning strike brewing when you heard the beeping of the front door's passcode being typed in followed by a panicked lee know bursting through the door. he slammed the door shut and threw his shoes off.

"y/n? where are you? tell me, I'll find you!" he yelled.

"kitchen! hurry!" you squeaked, hoping your voice was loud enough to hear over the thunderstorm.

you hear him walking through the apartment quickly, arriving to the kitchen and finding you sitting on the ground. he sighed in relief before sitting down next to you. you uncovered your ears and turned to face him.

"hey, I'm here now. it's okay, you're okay, alright?" he looked you in the eyes, nodding his head to reassure you that he wouldn't leave your side.

you nodded back, reaching out for his hand. he wrapped his hand tightly around yours, giving it a little squeeze as you scooted closer to him. you rested your head on his shoulder and he reached over his hand to shield your uncovered ear from the thunder. you stayed like that for a long time, sitting in a comfortable silence as the storm passed. after what seemed like forever, the lights finally flickered back on. you sighed in relief, pulling away from lee know and groaning as you stretched.

"now why did you make me sit on the cold kitchen floor for so long?" he moaned, getting up along with you.

you rolled your eyes at him. "well, if you're actually curious, I was making dinner, but..." you looked down at the raw chunks of meat sitting in your pan, "this won't be done any time soon." you sighed loudly.

lee know thought for a moment before he moved past you and placed the pan in the fridge. he reached for the electric kettle, filling it with water and turning it on. then, he walked past you again and opened the cupboard.

"do you wanna eat ramen with me?" he winked, pulling two cup ramens out.

you smacked his arm, snorting at his dumb joke. "sure," you chuckled, "god, you're such an idiot." you mumbled, making him playfully scoff.

(in korea, "do you want to eat ramen with me?" is a pg-13 euphemism, search it up kids <3)

changbin

you were looking forward to your first date night with changbin since tour ended. you knew he'd want to do something relaxing after spending months away from home so you had planned a movie night at home, with your favorite movies lined up in a queue and the coffee table covered in snacks. you heard a storm brewing outside of your windows, but you ignored the uneasiness settling in the pit of your stomach because you knew changbin would be home any minute now anyway.

and you were right, because just moments after you'd sat down on the couch, you heard the front door unlock and your boyfriend walk in, breathless and soaked to the bone in rain.

"the storm's definitely not going to settle down any time soon." he groaned, shaking the water out of his hair.

" you must be freezing! go change and take a hot shower." you said as you walked towards him, ushering him towards the bathroom.

"my baby doesn't want a hug first?" he pouted, trying to trap you in his arms.

"seo changbin, you get my clothes wet and it'll be the last thing you ever do," you warned him, quickly avoiding his outstretched arms. "shower quickly, I'll be waiting." you pecked him on the cheek, running back to your place on the sofa and waiting for him.

you scrolled through your phone, growing more stressed out as the thunder began to get louder and louder. you began hoping for changbin to get out of the bathroom and to join you more and more as the storm picked up. the sound of the shower raining down soon stopped and you heard changbin come out humming a song, answering your prayers. but just as you began to relax, you heard the windows rattle and in a matter of seconds, your lights and the tv flickered off. you squealed in shock, matching changbin's loud yelling from the bedroom.

"hold on, baby, I'm coming!" he shouted out to reassure you. he rushed out with just his sweatpants on, walking around blindly and hitting his limbs multiple times and hissing in pain as he made his way to you.

you sat quietly, holding your breath and flinching at the roaring weather outside. changbin sat down next you and pulled you into his lap. you relaxed into his touch, his warm skin against your cheek comforting you. he rubbed your back gently, softly shushing you every time the thunder got louder.

"this is nice, isn't it?" he whispered, stroking the side of your face.

"I'm sorry about our date." you mumbled, sighing against his shoulder.

"why are you sorry?" he chuckled, "you didn't make the power go out, baby." he kissed the top of your head.

"still, I wish we could've done something." you pouted.

"I like this more, let's stay like this a little longer." he insisted, making you give in and rest your head against his shoulder.

"I love you." you hummed.

"I love you more." he kissed you sweetly.

hyunjin

it was a brutally rainy day, thunder grumbling like an empty stomach every once in a while to remind you of how miserable it was outside. the only good thing about this kind of weather was that it brought the artist out of hyunjin.

you were sat on the floor of hyunjin's art studio, watching him silently as he painted his newest piece. it was an honor for you, honestly; hyunjin usually hated the pressure that came with having people watch him paint, but he had decided to make an exception for you this once after months of pleading from your end. you beamed up at him, being especially careful to not make any noise that could distract him.

he was beautiful when he was doing something he loved. it was the same with when he was dancing; he would scrunch up his face in concentration right before he took action, whether that be moving his body or his paintbrush with fluidity, and as soon as he really began, it flowed. you were mesmerized by how freely his hands moved despite all of the control you knew he had in his brush strokes.

"you're staring." he whined, not looking away from the canvas.

"I can't help it, you're so amazing." you said breathlessly, eyes glued onto the way hyunjin's hand moved across the canvas. your concentration on him was soon disrupted, however, by a particularly loud strike of lightning. you gasped a little, but hid it by clearing your throat a little.

"hmmm," he hummed, "wanna help, baby?" he asked, turning towards you.

"hyunjin, I can't paint to save my life." you chuckled nervously, still uneasy from the thunder.

"come here, I'll guide your hand," he beckoned for you. you sat in between his legs, leaning your back into his chest and letting him wrap his hand around yours after you held his paintbrush. "gently, just like that. the harder you press, the richer the color." he told you next to your ear. you blushed a little at the proximity between you two, focusing back on the way he dragged your hand across the canvas.

just as you began to enjoy yourself, the lights flickered as another bolt of lightning disrupted the moment, making you flinch violently.

"shhh, I've got you. you're doing so well," he whispered into your ear, rubbing a comforting hand against your thigh. "keep breathing and follow my lead, yeah?"

"okay." you replied quietly, continuing to paint with him. as the storm passed through your area, you grew less tense, feeling safe with hyunjin wrapped around you and hearing him hum against your ear.

"hyunjin?" you called him after a long while.

"hm?"

"thank you for making me feel better." you said sheepishly.

"you don't need to thank me, baby," he hugged you, "I don't need anything as long as I can make you feel happy and safe." he mumbled, peppering your face with kisses.

"stop, it tickles." you whined, making him giggle.

"now that I'm looking at it, I think you might be a better artist than me, baby." he hummed, pressing a firm kiss to the temple of your head.

"acting like you didn't do the whole damn thing , huh?" you rolled your eyes, making you both laugh.

jisung

it was a sunday evening, and sunday evenings meant one thing in your home---game night. you and jisung were sat on the floor in front of your tv, wearing your comfiest pajamas with your hair tied away from your faces. you both pressed away furiously at the game controllers in your hands, with your occasional yelps and sneers competing for power with the grumbling thunder outside. for once, the thunder wasn't bothering you; the need to beat jisung at mario kart was much stronger than your fear of the thunder.

"hehehe, kiss my ass!" you yelled as you zoomed past his character, earning a scoff from him.

"shut up! I'm going to win like I have literally every other time." he grumbled, already bitter about a loss he hadn't even suffered yet.

"I'm gonna win, I'm so close!" you cheered. but just as you began to get excited, a terrifying strike of lightning rung through your apartment, followed by a flicker and then pitch black. you gasped at the suddenness of it all, dropping your controller with a loud thump. you heard jisung scream a little at the same time, only scaring you more. you heard him regulating his breathing, before he spoke up.

"I'm gonna come over to you, okay baby? don't get scared, it's just me, I promise." he said as he began to shuffle towards you. another deafening bolt of thunder screeched, making you and jisung scream yet again.

"oh my god, okay, okay. y/n, it's okay." he breathed, sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than he was you. you felt his hand on your arm suddenly, making you flinch a little.

"just me, baby, just me." he whispered, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you against his chest. every time thunder struck, jisung's breath hitched and he pulled you closer as he rubbed your arm up and down. you could tell he was scared too, but he was braving the terrible weather in order to take care of you. as the storm passed, your gratitude for jisung only seemed to grow stronger.

"I love you so much, you know that?" you mumbled against his chest.

"nice to know," he hummed, chuckling when you slap him on the arm. "I love you, too. so much." he kissed the top of your head.

"you know I was gonna win tonight." you sighed, pouting at him.

"but you didn't!" he sang, earning a loud whine from you, "wanna call a truce? or..." as he began, the power suddenly came back, restarting your tv.

"a rematch?" you smirked, pulling yourself out of his arms.

"deal!"

felix

as soon as the thunderstorm started, felix dragged you out of the living room and into your bedroom. he tucked himself under the duvet, pulling it over his head so he was completely underneath the covers.

"y/n! come on!" his muffled voice yelled after you, making you do the same until you were face to face with your boyfriend underneath the covers. he stared at you and blinked cutely, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you flush against his body.

"baby?" you piped up.

"hm?"

"can I ask why we're under the covers like this when the sun literally just set?" you laughed.

"thunderstorms are the best cuddling weather. plus if the power goes out---" the lights flickered as if on cue, "well then, we're already next to each other so it's less scary."

"you're so thoughtful, baby." you giggled, planting a chaste kiss against his lips quickly. you wrapped your arms around him as well, playing with his hair. the thunder soon picked up, making your anxiety skyrocket. you hated the way it made it feel like your entire home was shaking underneath you and how it was the only thing you could focus on because of how it surrounded everything around you. you gasped lightly at each bolt, terrified.

"hey," felix tilted your head to look him in the eyes, "tell me about your day. what did you do in class today?" he asked, moving his hand to your hip and rubbing your side comfortingly. you took a deep breath, knowing exactly what felix was trying to do. you didn't care about his ulterior motive, though; if blabbering about your day distracted you from the storm outside, you were more than happy to comply.

you filled felix in on everything, from how you almost missed the train to school to how great your lunch was to nearly falling asleep in your dumb econ class. felix listened to you diligently, asking questions to further steer your mind away from the storm. he kept a firm grip on you the entire time, soothing you by gently rubbing his hand against your back as the storm peaked before finally moving across your area.

"I think the storm's passed." he said with a small smile as you finished talking about your day.

"mhmmm,' you nodded, "you wanna stay like this?" you questioned.

"you know I do." he grinned, smothering you as he scooted closer to you.

"okay, your turn. how was your day, lix?" you pushed the hair out of his face.

"well, I'm glad you asked." he moaned.

"oh god, here we go." you chuckled, making him smack you playfully.

seungmin

seungmin was never a physical affection type of guy. he avoided it and never really initiated it, but tolerated it when it came from you. that's how you knew he loved you; him letting you hug him without seeing your life flash before your eyes was a form of seungmin's love few had the privilege of receiving.

but seungmin's avoidance of physical touch was painfully clear right now, as you sat at the dinner table in front of your half-finished food in complete darkness. the rain and thunder pounded against your window, making you flinch harshly every time.

seungmin was out of his chair as soon as the power went out---always the efficient one, he had started searching for candles and a lighter right away. you could hear him muttering to himself as he searched, mumbling about flooding and how he was going to get to work in the morning.

you, on the other hand, had no thoughts other than keeping your calm. you had hated thunderstorms since you were young, spending many nights even as you got older in your parents' bedroom or with a pillow tightly held against your ears as you slept. you regulated your breathing, trying to focus on seungmin's soft muttering from the utility closet to distract yourself. but as a fast and sharp bolt of lightning screeched outside, you couldn't help but yell out of surprise. your heart pounded against your chest as you gasped for breath. you heard seungmin's feet quickly pad through the hallway as he came up to you.

"you okay?" he asked gently, sitting in the chair next to you.

you shook your head, rubbing a hand above your heart to help you calm down. "seung?" you reached out your hand, silently asking for his comfort.

he understood right away, putting the candle down on the table and tightly lacing his fingers with yours before carefully wrapping his palm over top of your intertwined hands. he rubbed his thumb against your hand, tenderly kissing it. you stayed like that for a moment before he stood up slowly and dropped your hand so as to not alarm you. he stood closer to you immediately after so you could wrap your arms around him.

"gonna light the candle, okay? we gotta finish dinner before our food gets cold." he said sweetly, leaning into your side hug and resting his hand against your back. he lit the candle quickly, illuminating your dinner table with its warm glow.

"romantic, isn't it?" you giggled quietly, leaning against his side as you finally eased up.

"let's call it a date night, then, yeah?" he chuckled along with you, rubbing your back comfortingly.

"then we go to bed and cuddle?" you asked hopefully, pushing your luck.

he quietly deliberated before finally relenting. "okay," he groaned, "but only if you don't make a big deal about it." he grumbled.

you squealed a little out of joy, hugging him tightly, "yay, thank you!"

"you're making me regret it already." he moaned

"no takebacks." you remarked swiftly, making him laugh a little as you both continued your dinner in front of the candlelight.

jeongin

there were many things to love about jeongin. whether it was his kind heart, his great sense of fashion, his dedication to following his dreams, or his wisdom that went beyond his years, it was really hard to find something to dislike about him. even after years of dating, you only managed to find one thing you found less than desirable from jeongin---his ability to sleep through anything and everything.

and that included now, as a thunderstorm roared and vibrated through your home. jeongin, always the sound sleeper, was knocked out in bed, completely unaware of the thunder pounding against your apartment walls. you, on the other hand, stared up at the wall, desperate for sleep to overtake you.

you gasped lightly at each loud lightning strike, being awoken from your sleepy state multiple times. you turned to face your sleeping boyfriend, jealous of how easy it was for him to fall asleep and stay asleep despite all of the noise surrounding him. you admired his relaxed face in the soft glow of your bedroom sleep light when all of a sudden, it flickered off.

you gulped nervously, taking a deep breath to try and keep it together. but your resolve soon went out the window as a bolt of thunder shrieked suddenly, making you yelp out loud. jeongin frowned a little instinctually before his resting face smoothed over once again. you were shaking, shifting around restlessly as your anxiety got the best of you.

"y/n?" jeongin croaked awake, "c'mere." he yawned, lazily opening his arms for you to join him.

"sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. the thunder just makes me anxious, I'm sorry." you explained apologetically as you laid down in between his arms.

"shhh, it's okay. try to sleep." he mumbled sleepily. he covered your ears before rubbing your back soothingly to help you fall asleep.

and while it didn't help you fall asleep immediately, you appreciated how much effort he put into taking care of you, even fighting the sleep he desperately needed in order to help you. as you grew sleepier and the storm passed, you whispered, "thank you, I love you."

and you couldn't tell if he really said it or you dreamt it, but you could've sworn you heard a "I definitely love you more" coming from above you as you drifted off to sleep against jeongin's chest.

1K notes · View notes

avida-heidia-5 · 5 months

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📱 Selfie Time!:

More Martian fanart? Why yes it is!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

This is a scene from Chapter 5 of, you guessed it, There Is Thunder In Our Hearts, Baby by @kaossbells.

This one took me much longer than expected. It’s a combination of pondering which scene to draw and how I want the boys to look and act. I think I pulled it off.

Brace yourselves! I’ve already started drawing Chapter 6! 😉

9 notes · View notes

megamindsecretlair · 6 months

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A Little Mad Sometimes

Pairing: Ghostface x Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. FILTH, PWP, cursing, protected PIV, oral (male and fem receiving), degradation kink, toxic smut, mocking, minor knife kink, use of pet names, overstimulation if you squint, all consensual. Established relationship.

Summary: Playing hide and seek with Billy and Stu looking for you was beyond fun. But they have to catch you eventually.

Word Count: 4,032k

A/N: Full moon's out, I'm out being feral again. Happy Halloweek! Time for more spooky smut, because YESSS. This is my favorite gif of them. I'm off to throw this movie on for the thousandth time. Tagging those who interacted with my previous fic, I can totally remove it if you don't want to be tagged! Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! Please put age in bios or else I block!

Taglist: @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @notapradagurl7 @lovedlover @sevikasblackgf @miyuhpapayuh @planetblaque

The heavy thud of a knife hit a table somewhere in the house and you flinched. Your hand knocked into the wall with a small smack and you bit your lip to keep from crying out. Your heart thundered in your chest. Anticipation and fear mixed into a heady cocktail.

You squeezed your bare thighs together, your short shorts were barely long enough to cover your ass. That was Billy’s idea. His favorite part of you was your thighs. Watching them, holding them, kneading them. If he was near you, he was touching you.

You dared to peek in between the door jam and the door. All of the lights were off casting everything in shades of black and gray. With the lack of sight, your hearing strained for anything familiar. Anything to put you at ease.

Every so often, you’d hear a creak. Or the whoosh of a door being opened. But was it them? Or was it just the house settling? Each new sound set your nerves on edge.

Playing hide and seek was so much harder with two people looking for you than just one. The house was on the big side, so there were plenty of areas to hide in. But if they ever cornered you, you were done for.

Of course, the goal was to find you, but your competitive side didn’t want to make it easy. You wore socks to help muffle your movements. Since they were scarily quiet on a good day, you made them wear boots. But then they warned that you had to move around the house. You couldn’t just camp out behind a door forever. They needed you loosened up and limber. For reasons.

The hallway was pitch black; even if they were standing right at the door, you wouldn’t be able to see them. Still, rules were rules. You slid out from behind your bedroom door, peeking down both sides of the hallway. There was no movement, so you crept slowly down.

If you could make it to the bathroom…

The stairs creaked, sending your heartbeat through the roof. You huffed, whipping your head to the other end of the hallway. A shadow played on the wall. A figure moved slowly. A knife scraped against the wall.

“This is our best game yet,” a voice whispered. You didn’t know if it was Billy or Stu walking up the steps. It didn’t bode well that you only knew where one was.

You lifted your feet slowly but quickly, tiptoeing down the hall. Your eyes were trained on the stairs, watching that shadow move higher and higher. Your pulse jumped in your throat.

Your hand searched behind you for the door. Finding it, you slowly backed in. You didn’t dare move the door as you got behind it, close to the wall. The house was older than those in the neighborhood and everything fucking creaked. You suspected your parents liked it that way. Wouldn’t want you to sneak out without them noticing. Without a chance to stop you from doing something naughty. If only they could see their baby girl now.

You strained to hear over the sound of your heartbeat. One of them stopped making sounds. You were sure, even in their boots, that the carpet underneath muffled the sound. You could only rely on that faint sixth sense of the area around you.

Light rustling made you widen your eyes. Not that you could really see anything. But you begged for any type of night vision. You heard him move down the hallway, trailing his knife against the wall. You licked your lips, your mouth going dry.

Fuck! This was the wrong place to hide. He stopped outside of the bathroom door, presumably staring in.

You slid a hand over your mouth, quiet as you could, to prevent him from hearing you breathe. “Come out, come out,” he whispered. He sighed. The door flew towards you with a loud kick from him and you jumped.

The door got caught on the rug, preventing it from slamming against you and giving away your position. You shook. Adrenaline pumped through you. Distantly, there was a sound of a door slamming against the wall. These two were so in sync it was frightening sometimes.

But, good to know that they weren’t on the same level of the house. Bad to know that they weren’t on the same level of the house. Either one could catch you as you moved about, scurrying to avoid detection.

The one near you stepped into the bathroom. You watched the shadows undulate as he moved. His ghostface mask was a stark contrast against the darkness. The ghostly image seemed to float in mid air. You were fairly sure this was Billy.

He was a lot calmer, more rational of the pair. He had ice water in his veins. Moving like a predator where Stu stumbled around like an excited baby giraffe.

A crashing noise split the air. Billy turned to the sound and ran down the hallway. You heard his thunderous footsteps descend the stairs and you eased out of the bathroom once more, crossing the hall, towards your parents room. You thought about the attic, but that was too easy. They found you there in under twenty minutes last time. It wasn’t easy to move around up there in the dark, plus it was creepy and full of spiderwebs. No thank you.

You moved quickly, sliding to the floor and shimmying under the bed. The cushy carpet slid over your skin as you wiggled underneath. Your chest burned with the need to take a full breath. You counted in your head, willing your racing heart to calm down.

But you were too anxious. Too keyed up with the thrill of being prey. You heard the stairs creak again. You strained once more, trying to discern any and all types of sound.

Cold slender hands encircled your ankles and yanked. You screamed, throat burning, kicking your legs. But it was futile. The hands gripped you harder, pulling you completely out from under the bed until you were exposed.

“Oh, what do we have here?” Stu’s excited voice carried from beneath his mask.

“Wait!” You yelled out.

Light flooded the room rendering you blind temporarily. You blinked away hot tears as Stu stood in front of you and Billy leaned against the door frame. He tilted his head as Stu gripped you by the arms now and lifted you clean off of the ground.

He turned you roughly, to face Billy. His hands were like steel, wrenching your arms behind your back. He pushed into you and your head barely came up to his chin. “I caught a rabbit,” he sang.

He removed his mask, chuckling in your ear. He ran his hands up and down your arms. Goosebumps pebbled your skin.

“I thought you were downstairs,” you pouted. You stared as Billy lazily removed his mask. His hair fell over his brow and you couldn’t help a quiet hum. Watching these two never failed to take your breath away. They were gorgeous. They were intense. They didn’t do anything by half measures.

“Remind me to give that stupid animal extra treats,” Stu said with a dreamy sigh.

“You bastard! You two planned this,” you said.

Billy’s smirk only confirmed it. Of course they planned it. It was uncanny how Billy seemed to know your moves before you did.

“It’s not hard. Figured you’d run to mommy and daddy’s room. Is that where you want it?” Billy asked as he crept closer. “To be fucked in your parents’ bed?”

You loosed a breath. The thought hadn’t even occurred to you. You ran in here because it was the only logical place from the bathroom. The bell had been rung. You glanced towards the bed. It would be much bigger than your little full sized bed.

“I think she’s considering it,” Billy said to Stu, talking over your head. Stu grinned and chuckled, his warm breaths fanning across your neck.

His hands slipped from your arms, no longer trying to restrain you. He moved his hands to your chest, immediately grabbing your tits and pushed them together. You wore a flimsy tank top, no bra.

The house was cold, courtesy of Billy once more. Your arms were freezing while your nipples poked out and Stu zeroed in on them, tweaking and rolling it between his fingers. Sharp zings of pleasure ran through you.

You were equal parts hot and cold. Your skin was overly sensitive, waiting. Stu licked the shell of your ear and you moaned, the traitorous sound escaping before you could snatch it back.

“We caught you. Know what that means?” Billy asked. He tilted his head once more, his hair falling into his eyes. You groaned and stomped your foot.

“You know this is bullshit,” you said. But inside, your mouth watered thinking of wrapping your lips around Billy’s dick. You leaned on the tips of your toes as Stu pinched your nipples. A sound of protest left you and Stu mocked you.

“Aww, too rough?” He asked.

“Yes,” you said.

“Too bad,” he said and laughed. He continued to pinch and tug at your nipples. Your panties grew more damp by the second.

“Knees,” Billy huffed out. You dropped down, watching him the whole time. He watched you descend, waited till your knees hit the ground and shook his head. He inclined his head to Stu and you shivered. You couldn’t decide who you wanted your hands on more. You turned around.

“Thanks buddy,” Stu said. He unzipped his pants, wasting no time shoving them down and stepping out of them. His shirt went next and he eagerly pumped his fingers along his length.

You watched the action, licking your lips in anticipation. You knew the taste of him and yet you gingerly moved your head forward, licking his offered dick. He groaned at the first swipe of your tongue.

He was so tall. It was near impossible to maintain eye contact with him while you pleased him. So you didn’t try. You opened your mouth and he shoved in, groaning at the feel of your mouth. “Fuck, that’s good,” he moaned.

His hands petted you as you suckled and worshiped his dick. You felt Billy kneel behind you and you shifted until he could scoot in more. “Suck harder,” he commanded.

You did as he instructed, sucking harder on Stu who moaned uncontrollably. “Fucker,” Stu moaned.

“Play with his balls,” Billy said. You raised your hands and softly massaged Stu’s balls. His dick twitched in your mouth, his hips leaning away. You chased him, fighting to fit more of him back inside.

Billy’s hands moved up and down your body. He lifted your shirt and played with the soft skin underneath. His cold fingers found your hardened nipples and you moaned around Stu’s dick keeping a steady rhythm in your mouth.

You tried to play with Stu, tried to tease him a little. Your tongue swirled the tip of his dick. But Billy’s hands on you were breaking your concentration.

“Faster,” Billy snapped. You cried and bobbed your head, taking Stu deeper. You moved your hands to Stu’s thighs because there was no way that you could fondle him and focus on what Billy was up to.

Billy moved his right hand lower, slipping underneath the waistband of your shorts. He moved lower, past your panties, and teased your dripping wet slit. “She’s fucking soaked, Stu,” Billy cooed in your ear.

Stu’s dick twitched with a deep groan from him. You licked the vein on the underside of his dick, carefully tracing the curve. “Fuck,” he groaned and released hot cum down your throat.

“Swallow it like a good little slut,” Billy said.

You did as he demanded. You swallowed Stu’s load. Stu slipped from your lips with a sigh and painted the rest of his cum on your lips. His dark grin turned feral as your lips glistened with his cum.

You licked the rest of him from your lips. “My turn,” Billy said.

Stu pulled you up to stand in front of him. He removed your tank top, squatting down to kiss your belly, your chest, lick your nipple, and your neck. The shirt went over your head while Billy tugged your shorts and panties off.

You stepped out of it and faced both of them. They were gorgeous. Complete opposites and yet so similar. Billy’s dark hair suited him. Stu’s hair was a grade lighter, more brown and closer cropped.

Billy shoved you onto the bed and you flopped onto it, bouncing a little. Stu groaned and moved around to the other side of the bed. He grabbed you roughly, spinning you around and pushing you into the position he wanted.

He laid you on your back, your head back towards Billy. He spread your legs and looked at your dripping wet pussy. His eyes practically sparkled as he drank you in. “You really liked my dick in your mouth, didn’t you?” Stu asked softly.

You leaned up on your elbows. The sound of Billy moving made you wonder if he was finally getting undressed. You kept your eyes on Stu though, on the subtle vulnerability there. “It’s all I think about,” you said.

Stu’s eyes widened, his mouth dropping a little in surprise.

“Sometimes I can’t stand it. Sitting on my bed, late at night, with the burning need to cum,” you said. Stu licked his lips and climbed onto the bed.

“I have the door closed, my panties off, my fingers buried in my pussy,” you said.

Stu huffed, his face close to your core. “I bet you get them in deep,” he said. His gaze dropped to your pussy, to the way it clenched and contracted around nothing.

“I can only get them so far. It’s not like when you’re inside me, so deep, so good,” you moaned. A rush of heat ran through you as you watched Stu’s eyes light up. You never had to doubt if he wanted you. Hunger and desire played over his features. He leaned in, rubbing his nose through your slit.

“Tell him the rest,” Billy said. He moved closer to your head. You leaned your head upside down. He glanced at you, still so cool and collected. Sometimes, you wonder why Billy bothered with you. You were gorgeous, of course, but Billy got that look in his eye. Like he was picturing what you looked like on the inside.

It should frighten you. You suspected that he really would kill someone. Just to see. But then he’d smile, like nothing was wrong. He’d make a joke or change the subject to something random. Or he’d place your hand on the front of his pants and tell you that he needed you. And who were you to resist?

“I get so wet and needy. Thinking of you. Wishing you were there, getting me off instead. Sometimes I hump my pillow too,” you returned your eyes to Stu.

He watched you with that small look in his eyes. Like he wanted to reject what you were saying. “I have to bite my pillow to keep from screaming your name,” you said. You were making yourself wetter. It was just the other day that you did this. Thinking of them got you so hot and bothered. You’d spend hours in your room, playing with yourself, getting yourself worked up thinking of what else they can do to you.

Billy caressed your cheek, pulling your attention to him. He smiled. He leaned down and kissed you. Your lips pressed together seamlessly. His tongue danced with yours. Stu flattened his tongue against your slit, licking up the arousal that seeped past your pussy lips.

You gasped into Billy’s mouth and he hummed. “Like that, huh?”

You nodded, kissing him again. “Need to be full, don’t you?”

“Yes, please, please,” you whined.

Billy looked over at Stu and nodded. Something passed between them. Stu stopped and you whined, wanting his tongue back on you. He placed his hands under your ass and pushed. Billy grabbed you under your arms and pulled. You scooted across the bed as if you weighed nothing.

Your head hung off the bed. Billy slapped your face with his thick dick. “Open up,” he said. He rolled his neck as you opened your mouth. He pushed inside, grunting.

Stu moved up the bed, positioning himself in between your legs. His tongue lapped up your juices before his fingers spread you open. Then he truly went to work, sucking and licking your pussy.

You cried out, mouth too full of Billy to say anything. Your hips wriggled on the bed. Stu grabbed your thighs and pushed them open wider, as wide as they would go, and feasted on you. Billy grabbed your flailing arms and pinned them to the bed.

He started to stroke, moving in and out of your mouth. His pace was smooth and unhurried, but he shoved in without a care. You choked and he kept going, knowing your limits. “You can do it. Suck me down,” he coaxed.

Stu was relentless, flicking your clit back and forth. Their styles were mixed and it was driving you nuts. You didn’t know who to pay attention to. Your pussy throbbed and your legs shook. Your pathetic whines did nothing to sway the both of them to mercy.

Stu moved his whole head, your juices coating the entire lower half of his face. “Taste so fuckin’ good,” he moaned.

You whined, your moans vibrating across Billy’s dick. He sighed and panted as he moved in and out of your mouth. “Like getting fucked, don’t you?”

“Mhhm,” you moaned. He still held you down. You tested his restraint, but he gave you no wiggle room. He was fucking your mouth and you were going to lay there and take it.

Stu switched tactics. One of his hands brushed across your thigh, down towards your pussy. He plunged two fingers inside and you leaned up, the pleasure too intense for words. He pumped his fingers in time with his tongue.

Your stomach flipped, your orgasm building higher and faster. You cried and moaned but it came anyway, flushing through you and rolling over you in waves. Your eyes crossed riding it and Billy still fucked your mouth. Your moans seemed to spur him on faster and faster until he was shooting his load into your mouth.

It was odd to swallow him down this way, but you had plenty of practice over the past few months. Billy grumbled something as he slipped out. Stu moved back, pulling his fingers out of you and licking his fingers.

You were as limp as noodles, so sure that you were completely spent. What a fucking rush. The adrenaline from earlier had morphed into a mix of pain and pleasure as your orgasm ran its course. But they were far from done.

Billy and Stu moved in tandem to position you how they wanted. Now, you were on your knees, ass in the air, and leaning on your elbows. Stu leaned up on his knees on the bed, his erect dick jumping close to your face.

Billy stood behind you, his still hard dick poking at your entrance. It was so tempting to have him fuck you raw, to feel him without a barrier in between you. The last thing you two wanted were kids. Fucking yuck.

“What are we going to do with our little cock-hungry whore?” Stu asked. He had his head cocked to the side, looking down at you.

“She’s so fucking needy,” Billy said. He moved away, probably to grab a condom. You heard his clothing hit the ground, a package opening, and then Billy was back at your entrance.

“It’s taking more and more to please her every time,” Billy continued. They talked about you as if you were an object. Just a dumb little toy they played with together.

Stu ran his thumb across your lips and you sucked him in, needing something in your fucking mouth. You were spent, but fuck, you wanted them. You were mad with the lust, with the desire to have them to yourself.

“Open up like a good slut,” Stu said.

You opened your mouth and Stu slipped his dick in, a deep sigh escaping him as he threw his head back. “Fuck,” he grunted. His face twisted, the pleasure too much for him. That only turned you on more. That you got to turn him on too. You had the power to render him slack jawed, face turned towards the ceiling, bliss across his pretty features.

Billy shoved in with one hard thrust and you braced yourself on the bed to keep from shoving face first into Stu’s groin.

You growled, the feeling of being full overpowering and heady. “Do that again, that felt fucking amazing,” Stu said.

You thought he was talking to you. Billy pulled out and then shoved back in, deeper and harder this time. Your growl was immediate, tapered off with a whine. “Oh fuck, so good,” Stu whispered.

Billy pounded into your slick walls, grabbing your hips and throwing you down onto his dick. His fingers dug into your soft flesh, digging for purchase. He angled up and hit your G spot. Tears rushed to your eyes at how deep he was. He felt too good. Too amazing. Stu’s dick in your mouth twitched as he watched Billy fuck you. Watched the tears leak from your eyes and down your face.

“Aw, is it too much?” He asked.

“Mhm,” you said.

“You hear that Billy? She wants more,” Stu said.

You screeched as Billy increased his pace, hitting that spot over and over until you were shaking through another orgasm. Your body went limp, your thighs spasming and convulsing. Billy held you up, still ramming inside of you.

The force of Billy’s thrusts pushed you onto Stu. It was like he was fucking you both. Stu muttered incoherently as your mouth took him deeper and slobber drooled from your lips and onto the bed. Your arousal gushed out of you, leaking down your thighs.

“Shit, shit, there, right there,” Stu stuttered. He bit his lip and moaned as he climaxed, hot splashes of his cum coating your tongue. Your mouth worked on its own, sucking him down and drinking every drop he gave you.

Billy leaned over you, panting and huffing. His fingers still dug into your hips as if he were afraid to let you go. Stu massaged your jaw as he coaxed his dick from your mouth. He wiped up the drool and winked at you.

You couldn’t take another one. But you desperately wanted to flip over so that Stu could have a turn. He chuckled as if he could read the thought on your face.

“We know your limits, babe,” he said. He leaned down and kissed you, swiping his tongue across your lips. “We have all weekend for more,” he said.

You wanted to protest. You wanted to please him now. You wanted them both to have a turn inside of you. You worked your jaw, working the dull ache out. But a yawn escaped you.

Stu softly pushed you to lay down on your side. He curled in behind you, his warm chest into your back. You hummed as his warmth encapsulated you completely. Billy disappeared to get rid of the condom.

“Look at you two,” he murmured. He turned off the lights, plunging you back into the inky darkness.

“You’re not invited,” Stu said. You elbowed him softly and he protested.

“There’s plenty of room.” Billy laid down in front of you, facing you. He kissed you softly.

“Ours,” he barely breathed. Maybe he didn’t think you’d hear him, but you kissed the corner of his mouth. He smirked and shook his head.

Stu snored softly in your ear. You giggled, snuggling deeper into him. Between the two of them, you felt like you were in a sauna. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Psst, there's more! The Secret Ghostface Files

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insxghtt · 1 year

Text

the rage of a mother — aemond targaryen x reader

Aemond has to suffer the consequences of his actions, but he didn’t think that you would be the one to pay the price.

warnings: +18, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of blood, violence and grieve.

this was based on this request and it took me a long time to finish it bc i have a hangover. again, english is not my first language so if you find any mistakes i apologize. thats it, hope you like it :)

As soon as Aemond walked in the room, all wet because of the rain and with a scared look on his face, you knew something was wrong. He didn’t look at you, his gaze fixed on the floor. He also didn’t say anything, which only made you more nervous.

“How was it?”, you asked, but he kept quiet. “What happened?”

He walked to the table that was close to the fireplace and removed his eyepatch. His movements were slow, like he was lost inside his own thoughts. The flashbacks kept coming. Lucerys screaming, the sound of Vhagar’s bite, the blood.

“Lucerys Velaryon was there”, he finally said while staring at the fire.

“What have you done, Aemond?”

You loved your husband more than anything, but you also knew that there was a dark place inside of him, a result of the eye he lost. You always told him that revenge was like poison and you wished he had listened.

“It was Vhagar, not me”, he tried to argue. “I ordered her to stop.”

“Is he dead?”

Once again, he kept quiet, but you knew what it meant. Lucerys Velaryon was dead. You felt the weight of a mountain on your shoulders and had to lean on the desk behind you to keep from falling on the floor.

“Did you chase him?”

Aemond didn’t know what to say. “Yes, but I didn’t mean to...”

“What did you think that would happen?”, now you were angry. You were a mother and knew what Rhaenyra was capable of. And, honestly, you could not even judge her, because that’s what you would do. “Answer me, Aemond! What did you think it would happen?”

“I told Vhagar to stop!”, he turned to you also angry.

“You though you could control a dragon like her? She is the biggest dragon alive, Aemond, she has been to war!”, you walked to him with tears on your eyes.

“Do not give me that look, he should have seen it coming.”

“He was a child!”

“So was I, and yet they did not care about that when they took my eye.”

You had no words. The person standing in front of you was a complete stranger. He was filled with anger and it didn’t matter anymore if he told Vhagar to stop or no because he was simply not sorry.

“Who are you?”, you whispered.

Those words seemed to bring him back to reality. You were scared. Not of him, but of what his actions could cause. And he felt terrible because of that. It was his responsibility to take care of you and your child.

And to think about your child, his heart almost stopped.

“I will not let anything happen to you. Did you hear me?”, he said, holding your face on his hands to make sure you were listening. “Nothing will ever happen to you or to our daughter.”

“You cannot escape the rage of a grieving mother, Aemond.”

He ignored your words, trying to tell himself that there was a way out. His hands left your cheeks only to grab your waist and pull you closer. You felt him hiding his face on your neck and returned the hug.

The days had passed and Rhaenyra’s silence only made you feel worse. Since her son’s death you kept your baby as close as possible, not leaving her side for even a second. Aemond was busy most of the time, trying to plan something with the help of his brother, the new King, and his mother.

The bed you two shared was now empty all the time, but you didn’t care. After all, you had been spending all nights sitting on the armchair next to the crib. To watch you baby sleeping like an angel was the only thing that could make you feel better.

It was a rainy night and your baby hated the sound of the thunders. She had been crying for a while and nothing seemed to calm her down.

You held her in your arms, singing an old song that your mother used to sing when you heard a noise outside the door. The baby stopped crying and you thanked the gods. The sound of steps got closer and you heard a voice that was not familiar. Immediately, you hid yourself under the bed.

They opened the door trying their best to be silent and you held your breath, afraid to make any noise. Carefully, you took the dagger that you always kept hidden under your dress, ready to fight anyone who tried to hurt you or the baby.

But your daughter was not happy to feel one of your hands leaving her body and let out a cry. You closed your eyes knowing that there was nothing you could do. It was impossible that they didn't hear it.

And it all happened so fast. A man held your ankles and pulled you out of your hiding place while another one took the baby. He put you on your knees and stood behind you. You screamed seeing the way the other man held your daughter, but stopped as soon as you felt a blade touching the skin on your neck.

“We are here just for the child, princess. Do not make this more difficult for you”, the man behind you whispered in your ear and you felt his hands on your hair.

Tears were steaming down your face, but the look on your face was filled with hate. Your little girl was right there on that man’s hands and there was nothing you could do.

“She is a pretty girl”, the one holding her said with a smile. “Has her father’s hair”

“You do not want to do this”, you said. The dagger was still hidden on your sleeve and none of them seemed to notice it.

The man behind you laughed. “What are you going to do? Cry? I apologize, princess, but the Queen wants a heart. And I hope you can understand our position. Business is business.”

The other man laid the baby down on the bed as he reached for his dagger and on that brief moment, you knew it was your only chance to act. And you were so fast that even you couldn’t believe it.

With your left hand, you grabbed the wrist of the man behind you and with the right one you stabbed his leg with your dagger. He yelled in pain and tried to pull your hair, but you were faster and turned around, stabbing his other leg.

You stood up and the man in front of you ran your way. You were able to dodge, but still felt his dagger cutting your shoulder. Ignoring the pain, you stuck your dagger on his neck and blood was spilled all over your face.

But it was not over. The other one was still standing. He didn’t run to attack you, but went for your baby instead. Before he could reach her, you threw the dagger his way. It hit his back and he fell on the ground. You walked to him and grabbed your weapon.

“You are right”, you turned his body to look at his face one last time. “Business is business”, you whispered before you cut his throat.

Your daughter was still crying but you did not take your eyes off the man in front of you until he was finally dead from choking on his own blood.

Once again, you heard the door open and turned away, ready to attack, until you saw your husband.

“What happened?”, he asked looking at the blood.

He saw the two men and his heart was suddenly filled with rage and guilt. He promised you that nothing would happen, but where was he when they needed him the most?

“Guards! I need guards!”, he yelled.

He ran to you and held you tight in his arms. Finally, you relaxed your body and allowed yourself to cry. And you only left his arms to hold your little girl.

“I am so sorry”, Aemond whispered while hugging you two. He left a kiss on your shoulder and one on your neck and you could feel his tears falling on your skin. “I should have been here.”

His words seemed so distant to you. All you could do was stare at your daughter. Your bloody hands were staining her clothes, but she was no longer crying.

The guards came in and took you to the Meister while the maids watched your child. Aemond stood next to you as the healer sewed the wound on your shoulder. The pain was bad, but the cut was not that deep. Actually, it seemed like Aemond was feeling more pain than you. Evey time the needle cut through your flesh he squeezed your hand.

When it was done, he helped you get undressed so you could finally take a bath. He didn’t say much, only asking you if the water was warm enough. You got in the bathtub and he sat on a chair next to you.

Aemond was a quiet man, so you got used to interpreting his feelings just by looking at his body. The way he walked, the look on his face, the way he cracked his knuckles. Just by that, you knew that he was feeling guilty.

“You do not have to feel that”, you broke the silence. “You do not have to feel guilty.”

“It was my fault.”

“Maybe”, you held his hand. “Or maybe Rhaenyra was just waiting for an excuse to start this war and take what she believes is hers.”

He nodded, but it didn’t change his feelings. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I do”, you said and he looked surprised. “You would be miserable.”

A laugh escaped through his lips and you smiled. You missed that sound.

He kissed your hand and got closer to you, resting his forehead against yours.

“I will never leave you alone again”, he whispered. “I promise.”

part II

#aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen angst #house of the dragon x you #house of the dragon #hotd x you #hotd x reader #aemond targaryen x reader #house targaryen #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond one eye #aemond oneshot #writers on tumblr #writing #fanfic #hotd imagine #aemond angst

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 5 months

Text

Thunder In Our Hearts: You're Losing Me

Summary: A few short weeks before their first holiday together, the reader finds Ben slipping into his old ways...

Masterlist

Pairing: Soldier Boy x reader

Word Count: 2,600ish

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

A/N: This takes place within Part 9 of Thunder In Our Hearts. Enjoy! 😉

_______

You hummed as you stirred the ingredients in the Dutch oven on the cold December day. Things with Ben had been good lately. It’d been about four months since you’d both stopped hunting down people, trying to hide him from the CIA. You simply…were.

For Ben, that meant a whole lot of learning still. He’d been out of the box for a little over six months now and had picked up a few things. He even had his own SUV now for getting around. He understood how to use the TV and get to streaming apps along with some basic use of the internet and a smart phone.

And he prided himself on how well he could cook a full breakfast for you both. You’d even got a smirk out of him when you called him your own Betty Crocker.

But there was still a lot to learn and it wore on him some days. Unfortunately, it seemed like today was going to be one of them.

“Jesus Christ,” groaned Ben, stepping into the house, shrugging out of his winter jacket. He kicked off his boots and left them in the middle of the floor, all while shaking his head. “Your generation is full of fucking pussies, baby. No wonder this country has gone to shit.”

You tore your eyes away from the soup on the stove, annoyance prickling your skin. Yeah, it was definitely one of those days.

“The fucking child working the counter at the auto store didn’t know two shits about the oil I was looking for. Literally the twats only fucking job,” he grumbled, walking into the kitchen and washing up his hands. You tried to let it go. He was allowed to get irritated as much as you were.

You set the spoon on the rest next to the stove and put the lid back on top, the stew having a few hours to go still.

“And then at dealership where I had to go to get the stupid shit, there was, I swear to God, some kid that had to be thirty fucking years old was buying a car with his dad. These little shits don’t know to wipe their own asses.”

You rolled your eyes behind his back and left the kitchen, Ben inhaling sharply, lifting the lid up. He licked his lips and set it back down, either ignoring or not picking up on your own growing annoyance. You sat down on the end of the couch, Ben leaning over the back, strong hands on your shoulders.

“And why the hell is everyone obsessed with these fucking frilly decorations for Chirstmas? It’s fucking stupid. If people want shit they should buy it. End of discussion. Lame ass holiday anyway.”

He squeezed your shoulders gently, leaning down so his lips brushed against your ear.

“You’re tense, baby. Let me help you relax.” Strong hands slid down over your shoulders, headed straight for your chest and you’d had enough. You faced him with a glare, Ben narrowing his eyes. “What’d I do?”

“You’re being an ass today. You’re acting like asshole Ben, the one I didn’t like, remember?” He scoffed, crossing his arms. “All you have done today is complain about other people, leave the house a mess, hell you even got something against Christmas. It’s fucking Christmas, Ben! No one in the world, even the most redneck backwoods hillbilly, has anything against a strand of fucking white lights. Frilly? Oh come on.”

“First off, they are fucking frilly,” he spat back as you headed for the foyer. “What’s wrong with not liking a stupid ass holiday?”

“Nothing! Hate Christmas for all I care! Plenty of people do. But don’t put it down because of lights or trees or presents. Hate it because your family sucks or whatever. Not because it’s not manly enough for you.”

“Oh fuck you,” he said, getting in your face, leering down at you with a certain visceral that reminded you of your first argument. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Don’t hate everything that’s not part of your toxic masculinity!” His eye twitched and you looked away, past him out the patio door. “For three weeks you’ve been acting more and more like an asshole. I know this is hard for you. I know learning is hard and learning to be accepting and even tolerant doesn’t happen overnight. But Benjamin, I told you once before. I will not live with a man that I’m afraid of. Do not become someone I am afraid of.”

“You have no idea how hard this is!” he shouted, so loud your body shook. You forced yourself to meet his angry gaze, fighting back wetness in your own. “I do everything for you! Every goddamn day I try for you! I’m sorry your worthless piece of shit boyfriend isn’t doing it fast enough for you!”

“I never called you that,” you said quietly, throat thick from fighting back the tears from falling. “Never. All I have ever asked of you is to try and you Ben, these past few weeks you aren’t trying. I am not giving up on you. All I’m asking is you to not give up on yourself. You’re worth it. But you have to want it too.”

“What I want is you to stop hounding me over every little thing every motherfucking day!” he shouted. You tore your gaze away and swallowed before heading for the door. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“For a drive,” you said, putting your boots on, taking your coat off the hook. “For the record, all I wanted to do today was make you homemade beef stew because you haven’t had it since you were a kid. Maybe, just maybe, decorate for Christmas because we both had shitty childhoods and maybe we could have made our own good traditions. But if you don’t want that, Ben, I won’t force that on you. I’m done. I’ll always love you but I don’t deserve to be screamed at for helping you, for still holding up my end of the deal.”

You ripped open the door and threw up your hood without looking back.

It was close to eleven when you got home. You were tired and your stomach felt off from your makeshift dinner of a greasy burger and fries. Least of all did you want another fight with Ben tonight. You just didn’t have the energy for it.

You sighed as you pushed open the door, catching sight of him out of the corner of your eye. Great. But you cut off your own thoughts as your eyes took in the room, darting through the family room and over to the kitchen and dining room.

Hundreds of small lights filled the house. Draped on the wall. Wrapped around the decorated tree in the corner. Over the mantle where two stockings hung.

You knew you were standing there with your mouth open, letting the cold air inside behind you. Ben walked around the couch and shut the door, all while staring at you. He flickered his own gaze down and you caught his shirt wasn’t his usual thermals or t-shirts.

He had on a fucking Grinch sweater. A fucking Grinch sweater.

Your eyes flirted back to his, worried green ones meeting them. His lips parted, words caught in his throat. He swallowed, taking both your hands in his.

“You deserve a better life than this.” He lowered his head. “Than me. But you won’t leave me alone unless I make you go which is what I’ve been doing. I don’t want you to have to teach me everything. You’re wasting away your life on me. I’m not good. No matter what I do, I’ll never be good. I’m always the villian. I want better for you than me.”

You stared at the Grinch on his sweater, at the comically large yellow eyes, the curl of green on top of his head.

“Y/N. Say something. Do something.” You lifted your gaze, his head turned cautiously up, waiting for a response. You stepped closer to him, Ben ripping his gaze away, like you’d burn him.

“Don’t you ignore me.” His head turned back, dropping your hands when you pulled them away. “Why did you do all this if you want me to go?”

“I never said I wanted you to go,” he whispered, cracking a sad smile. “I told you. I want you to want someone better than me.”

“Why did you do all of this?” you asked again, Ben closing his eyes, bottom lip trembling for a split second.

“Because…” he said, scrunching up his face, forcing himself to look you in the eye. “Because you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Because you deserve better but I’m the bad guy and I can’t survive without you. Because you’re my girl. Because I like these fucking frilly lights even though I’m the Grinch. That guy was an asshole too until someone gave him a chance. Give me one more chance. Let me be selfish. Don’t let me lose you.”

“I…” you said, Ben nodding once and lowering his head. You ripped off your jacket and boots, Ben barely lifting his chin as you cupped his cheeks. “I’m so proud of you.”

Confusion crossed his face as you smiled, wiping away a single tear that slipped free. “Why? I fucked everything up.”

“We still have to work on that self-worth I see,” you said, gently stroking over his cheek. “Benjamin. I love you and I’ll never give up on you. If you want better for me then you become that man because I picked you. I see you becoming him more and more everyday. But this Ben? The one right in front of me? I don’t love him any less than that other man.”

“I was an ass on purpose. I scared you,” he said. “You should-”

“No, you didn’t. But you needed a wakeup call because baby, I know you. I know you want me to hate you some days because you hate yourself. I know you think you trapped me. But you saved me, Soldier Boy. I need you to remember I’m here because with you is exactly where I want to be.”

He closed his eyes, an argument on the tip of his tongue. But he surprised you.

“I just want you to be happy,” he whispered. You kissed his cheek and then his lips, wrapping you arms around him tightly.

“I am. You’re my happy place.”

“Oh god that’s sad,” he half-laughed, resting his head on your shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve earned that.”

“Tell that to the guy who decorated the whole house with the frilly little lights,” you said, Ben chuckling. “If you want to leave me Ben you can but never do that again.”

“I promise and that’s not happening,” he said. He hugged you gently, the room quiet for a beat and then another. “I saved your stew. Maybe we can have it for lunch tomorrow?”

“Sounds good,” you said, enjoying the warmth of him around you. “Was today as bad as you said it was?”

“No. But I know how to make you think less of me,” he said, pulling back. “You should still be upset with me.”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “We’re not doing that. I know what I want and that’s for you to feel like you can talk to me when you start feeling bad. Please.”

“I’ll try,” he offered and you nodded, knowing that was all he could promise right now. You rested your head against his chest and breathed slowly, his heart thudding away strong and steady. “No.”

You frowned and looked at him, Ben raising his chin, nodding to himself. “No?”

“I won’t try. I’ll do it. No more trying. I will be better. End of story. I’m going to give you what you deserve.”

“Someday I hope you can see how fucking far you’ve come,” you said, Ben shrugging. “Come on. Let’s head to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“Ben,” you said the next morning as you lay curled up in his side. He traced his fingers up and down your arm, offering you a sleepy smile. “Can I give you a Christmas present early?”

“Eh, after yesterday I think I’m on the naughty list,” he said, catching the frown on your face. “Sorry. Working on the self-worth thing. So uh, I guess sure?”

You took his hand and slid it under your shirt over your belly, his eyes narrowing. “Listen.”

He closed his eyes, sliding his hand down slightly. He swallowed once, eyes flashing open. He stared at your stomach for a solid ten seconds before finding your face, lips parting.

“There’s another heartbeat inside of you,” he whispered. “Two more.”

“I know,” you said softly, placing your hand over his. “I found out yesterday morning. I went to the doctor while I was out. I’m eight weeks.”

“Twins?” You smiled and nodded, Ben’s hand still on you. “And they’re mine?”

“Of course they’re yours,” you laughed, Ben swallowing thickly. “Ben. It’s going to be okay. I’m scared too but excited. We-”

“I-Is it a boy? Are they boys?” he asked. You smiled and touched your forehead to his. “Can you know that before?”

“Nowadays yeah, but it’s a little too early to find that out,” you said, his breath hitching. “Do you…want boys?”

“No. No, I don’t want boys,” he said, suddenly jumping out of bed, hands going to his thighs as he leaned over and made a wincing sound. “You have to leave.”

“Excuse me?” you asked, sitting upright. Ben turned around, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

“I should not be anyone’s father. I-I’m going to fuck these kids up. I can’t…Jesus Y/N. I’m going to lose my temper and hurt them. Or I’ll be awful and raise them wrong. I can’t ruin their lives. I-I can’t be my father. I can’t-” You put his hand back on your stomach, Ben’s chest rising and falling quickly.

“You guys are going to have the best daddy in the world if he loves you this much already,” you said. Ben wanted to argue more but you shushed him. “Whatever they are, they’re going to be just fine.”

“How do you know that?” he whispered.

“Because we know everything not to do.” He thumbed over your skin, spreading his palm out wide. “I have to ask you to try for me one more time, Ben. Try to believe you’ll be good at this.”

He closed his eyes, a tiny smile crawling onto his lips. “If you’d asked me a year ago, I’d have told you I’d be a perfect father. Now…I know I would have destroyed them, made them awful little people like me.”

“Please stop saying things like that,” you whispered. He nodded, touching his forehead to yours.

“If you taught me, I guess these two will be alright. But I have to learn faster. I need to…shit I don’t know anything about babies. How much do they eat? What do they eat? And what the hell do babies wear nowadays? And-”

“Shush,” you murmured, smiling to yourself. “Calm down, super dad. We get to learn this together. Okay?”

“Okay.” Ben’s breathing slowed, his gaze flickering down between you, staring at his hand with a goofy little look. You almost teased him about looking happy for the first time but held back the comment. Whatever was going on in his head right now was healing him, even if it was ever so miniscule.

And that was the best gift he ever could have given you.

“Merry Christmas Ben.”

“Merry Christmas, baby…and babies,” he chuckled, kissing the top of your head. “Thank you. All of you.”

_________

#soldier boy fanfic #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy #the boys fanfic #soldier boy reader insert #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x

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