#there must be a point where mortis is like ...... huh.

[mrmosseater]

andddd thats the second part !!! god this made so emotional when drawing. anyways. for the deadsilent nation if you're out there

the first part is right here!

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The Owl House Pilot

Huh. Never thought I’d get to do this again, but oh well.

Salutations, random people on the internet! I’m an Ordinary Schmuck! I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

And, above all else, I LOVE talking about The Owl House. I have an entire masterpost dedicated to talking about every single episode of the show and I’m halfway through a six-part review discussing everything that I love about it (Part Four's coming when it’s done. Let’s say…late June. Early July at the latest). I figured that after I’d finished that whole deal, I wouldn’t have anything left to talk about when it came to this series. Then, out of nowhere, the show’s original pilot leaked online…Sort of. It’s just an animatic with the show’s original voice cast voicing MOST of the lines, but it’s very much the pilot episode. It’s just not a finished product and I won’t share a link because I don’t think it’s exactly…legal. BUT I will at least share my thoughts about it because, well…Look at my blog. The Owl House has become the BIG THING that I obsess over for a reason and I love that I got to see what’s basically an alternate version of the show that I love. What do I mean?

Well, a pilot is MUCH different from a first episode. Where the first episode is meant to sell the show to the audience, a pilot is meant to sell it to a STUDIO. It can happen at any point of the story or act as the show’s first episode. Just as long as it shows off the characters, concepts, and tone, a studio can look at it, greenlight it, and allow the show to continue, BUT with some extra notes. Sometimes, those notes can change the rest of the series where others can keep the pilot good enough to stay canon. Some best examples off the top of my head are the pilots for Regular Show and Rick and Morty. You can tell that not much changed from the pilots of those shows and what was initially pitched, but there are clear changes in tone, animation, and even personality. Skips sounds a little more illiterate and Benson being more informed of the consequences of something as simple as rock, paper, scissors in the Regular Show pilot and Rick is noticeably more reckless and unprepared for situations in the Rick and Morty pilot. Nothing is set in stone with a pilot episode, even the ones that are canon. For the case of The Owl House, it’s pilot is no exception. A lot of it is just the same as “A Lying Witch and A Warden” at least in terms of plot and themes, but there are so many changes that show off what the series COULD HAVE been instead of what it was. How different? Well, let’s go through it all.

But real quick, I’m not going to do the “Like/Dislike” format I’ve done for previous reviews. Instead, I’m going to look through this pilot, note the changes it has, and share my thoughts on them. There’s also going to be a few spoilers to what happens in this pilot, so if you haven’t checked it out then I suggest giving it a watch wherever you can find it. It really is interesting to get a peak into what’s basically an alternate version of my favorite show.

With that said, let’s get into it.

Some Things Stayed the Same: Like I said, it’s basically an altered version of “A Lying Witch and A Warden.” The plot is that Eda uses Luz to get King back his “crown of power,” with some bits and pieces carrying over. Certain jokes that must have been too funny to get rid of, specific lines of dialogue that hit just the right notes, and some aspects of the characters’ personalities being just the same, proving that they're already perfect the way they are. It’s the changes, however, that makes for something more interesting. For one…

There’s More of an Emphasis on Comedy: As much as I love The Owl House, I’ll always admit that humor isn't its strong suit. It CAN be funny, really funny. But the jokes don’t land as well as something as Gravity Falls or Amphibia. I can say that a part of that could be because Dana Terrace wanted a more serious show, and we definitely get a sense of how serious it could be later in the series. Here, in the pilot, it definitely seems like there was more of an attempt to make the show comedic. King’s crown isn’t in a warden’s cell held within a magical barrier that only a human can get through. It’s in a Principal’s high school, locked in a human locker that Eda and King treat as something devious. Amity’s friends aren’t preppy mean girls who seem like they could cause conflict to Luz and her friends. They’re characters used for jokes who are amazed by Luz standing up to Lilith. There’s less of an edge and more of a lean towards cutesy fun, waiting until the very end to reveal something heavy. To me, it makes the pilot feel MORE like a Gravity Falls clone than the final product. Because while Gravity Falls has its serious moments, it makes it clear that it was a comedy first, both in the pilot and final product. Any moment of heart or drama was overshadowed by one hilarious joke after the other. Now, “A Lying Witch and A Warden” had a lot of jokes too, but there were also these moments that hinted at something more. You have the oppressive looking prison, the grand beam of light hiding human collectibles, a crazy chase from a threatening looking warden. And yes, the reveal that Warden Wrath was trying to go out with Eda was hilarious, but a warden who tortures a prisoner for speaking her truth gives a hint of how dark this world can be. Meanwhile, a principal sending a student to demon detention feels more like a joke, exaggerating how strict some principals can be.

And keep in mind, I’m not complaining about the pilot leaning more towards comedy. I actually laughed a lot more with it than I did with “A Lying Witch and A Warden.” I’m just trying to explain how the tone is definitely going for something different than the full series. It might have that darker twist in the end, but even that is nothing more than a surprise. I'll get into why later, but while it has darker implications, it doesn't detract from the fun times to be had. Not by much. From what I can gather from the pilot, it’s definitely going for a series with goofy, fun adventures with a bit of heart to it. It’s just missing that personal touch that’s in The Owl House. One good example of how?

There’s Not Even a MENTION of Camila: Before you say anything, this has nothing to do with me being Camila’s number one fan, to the point where I almost made a side-blog dedicated to her (I really should get on that, though…)

I bring up this change because Camila grounds the story in “A Lying Witch and A Warden.” She draws Luz close to reality and is the first thing that comes to Luz’s mind when in real danger, saying, “If I die, my mom will kill me!” More than that, though, Camila is the one real connection Luz has to the human realm. She has no friends nor adventures, but Luz always has Camila, with even the first episode hinting that. So when Luz starts getting herself into trouble or choosing to lie and stay in the Boiling Isles, it lets the audience get ready for the inevitable drama that could unfold when Luz finally tells Camila everything. By removing Camila, though, the anticipation of Luz telling her mom goes away with her. At least, it tells ME that there’s less of a worry about Luz basically running away from home. Either this version of the show is holding off from that for a future episode or that Luz and Camila’s relationship isn’t close enough where it matters. This is speculation, of course, but I still stand by that a sense of something personal with Luz is lost for the sake of having fun and epic fantasy adventures with entertaining characters. It’s still good and entertaining, and the pilot does offer something else that’s personal, but it’s not the same as The Owl House we all fell in love with. Though, it’s notable that our main cast stayed the same.

Luz, Eda, and King: Overall, I’d say that these three, personality wise, didn’t change much. King’s probably the least altered, being the exact same character he was in Season One aside from MAYBE having a design change (It’s hard to tell through storyboards). As for Luz and Eda, they’re more or less the same. There’s a BIG change with Eda (That I’ll get to later), but her devil-may-care attitude is very much the same, as well as her snark and soft nature towards Luz and King. It’s her magic that gets the real boost, being able to do more like teleport across the Isles and turn into a…softer version of the Owl Beast at will. It’s pretty cool to see the power that this alternate Owl Lady has. And then there’s Luz, who’s still the lovable weirdo we all know. Though, this version seems a lot more dim and I’m not really a fan. How does she mistakenly give a book report in geometry class? How did it take seeing Amity’s witch ears to realize that she belonged in the demon realm? Luz had her dumb moments in the show too, but not to this extent. There was still a sense of maturity and cognitive understanding that made Luz feel like someone that seemed weird but intelligent enough to think herself out of a situation. This Luz seems more weird and focused on using brute force on a problem. In a way, it makes Pilot!Luz more of an…emotionally driven Star Butterfly. A fun and capable character, but not the same kind I had made several posts and reviews talking about how much I love/personally connected to her. But, comparatively, I guess it IS the most minor change that could be done to this character. Now let’s move onto BIGGER changes.

The Boiling Isles: The look and feel of the Isles remains the same, but the fact that it’s more connected to the Human Realm is intriguing. From what I can tell, the Demon Realm treats traveling to the Human Realm like it’s going to a new country. You visit, make some memories, and, for some, send your children over to be a foreign exchange student of sorts. Except that racism seems to be encouraged in this regard as the demons and witches don’t see humans worth breathing the same air as them. And some think it’s more than okay to hunt down and kill if one human trespasses into their realm. And the reason for THAT is implied to be Belos’ doing. Er, I mean–*Checks the leaked pitch bible*--Emperor Pupa? Uh…I’ll just stick with Belos. 

And that’s extra fascinating to me because Belos being a witch hunter was a major twist that spoke VOLUMES of the kind of people he represents. To find out that this version is more anti-human makes me curious of what kind of angle the show would have taken. Would Belos have been your bare-bones fantasy villain or would the writers find a different way to tackle his symbolism? And is the reason why the Demon Realm is more open up to the Human Realm because he hopes witches and demons can report about their enemies for a possible invasion? There’s no way to know for sure because that version of the story will never come to be, but it’s interesting to think of all the things we COULD have gotten. The same goes for other characters.

Amity: To think, Amity was considered important enough to be included in the original pitch pilot alongside our main trio. It makes sense. Dana Terrace has gone on record in saying that Luz and Amity’s relationship was something she wanted from the get go, so it’s smart to establish it as quickly as possible. Though the route they take is definitely different. Instead of being enemies to lovers, Lumity, in the original pitch, went for the friends to lovers trope…kind of.

Luz, in this version, is someone so desperate for positive attention and respect that she latches onto the first person in school that was nice to her. Except that Amity was looking for some quiet and just so happened to look like she was supporting Luz when telling everyone to leave her alone. It was an act of kindness, but not one done in generosity. It still meant the world to Luz, though, making her go ALL IN with friendship. Only to be a little too forward and creeped Amity out to the point where she was polite enough to say “Thank you,” but you could see the desperation in her eyes to be anywhere but next to Luz. Yet Luz doesn’t see that. She’s still too focused that someone was actually nice to her that she blindly follows Amity into a new world just to return a weird looking passport. Because Amity’s Luz’s friend now and friends do nice things to each other. Only for Amity to accidentally reveal that she couldn’t care less for Luz and shatter her hopes and dreams in one fell swoop.

In a weird way, I’d say Luz and Amity are off on a better first impression here than in the original series. There’s no attempted dissections or witch’s duels. Just…Amity trying to be polite in Luz’s presence only to act like your typical mean girl when she THINKS Luz isn’t around. Tossing away the drawing is harsh for sure, but here’s the interesting thing: Amity didn’t know she was talking to Luz at that moment. She didn’t even get rid of the drawing until someone drew (haha) attention to it. If anything, it’s worth noting that Amity still kept the drawing on her. Almost like, despite being weirded out by Luz, Amity felt as though the drawing WAS cute and only got rid of it when she thought someone would question her for having it. Can’t have that Little Miss Perfect status shatter over something some human gave her.

Am I reaching as a Lumity shipper? Oh, most certainly yes. But we all know the inevitable conclusion between these two. We know where they’re headed. Dana has been pretty adamant about wanting it from the start and this pilot sets the groundwork well. Knowing where these two will end up, it’s easy to make connections and hypothesize what means what. Plus, look at the face of shock and amazement on Amity’s face when she sees Luz standing up to Lilith. That looks like a girl who’s…feeling things for this human weirdo. They’re not off to a ROARING start, but I can see how things could improve between Luz and Amity. And who knows, maybe this version of these two might end up dating sooner with how quickly they seem interested in each other. Again, am I reaching? Most definitely, but I went without any new Lumity content for over a year so LET ME REACH!

The point I’m trying to make is that this version of Amity definitely seems a lot more chill and polite at the start, even though it’s likely she still has issues of even being FRIENDS with a human. But not everyone starts off polite.

Lilith: Crazy to think that Lilith started out as…basically a one-off villain like Warden Wrath. At least, that’s what I gathered from the pilot. The pitch bible hints that there COULD be more to her, but at the same time she gets sent to a fire dimension and loses a hand. That’s one-off villain energy if I’ve ever seen it. But if she is meant to be something more, I would love to see what differences could come of her being the headmaster of Hexside instead of Bump and how she could either develop into someone better through Luz’s influence as a student or regress into someone worse as she makes Luz’s school life a living hell. Whatever could come from her, it was kind of fun seeing Lilith act as more of a threat with her…out of nowhere ability to turn into a bat monster. It’s a pretty cool design and I love that it was brought out due to Eda’s constant pestering, proving that Lilith is still the same insecure nut that I love. And it is pretty great that this pilot confirmed that Lilith really did dye her hair to look more serious. You CAN’T tell me that’s not why the Lilith we know ditched the curly red hair.

But that’s about it when it comes to changes towards characters and locations. Let’s talk about the potential differences in the ongoing story.

Luz Stays Trapped Instead of Choosing to Stay: I mean, technically she chose to stay by breaking that key for no reason, but that’s more of a consequence of not thinking things through. She didn’t NEED to break the key, Luz could have just as easily pulled it out. Instead, she kicked the dang thing, leaving herself trapped in this new world. And it’s here that I would like to once again point out how this makes Pilot!Luz different and what’s lost by not including Camila. The Luz WE know would have been more careful. She always felt like someone who fought smarter, not harder, even in that first episode. Luz didn’t fight Wrath head on, she rallied a prison riot that distracted him long enough for her to hit a firework ball into his mouth. She’s intelligent and resourceful, where this one…kind of is? It was smart to send Lilith to the fire dimension, but again, not a great plan to break the key. Plus, without Camila, this doesn’t feel like as big of a deal as it could have been. Camila was the first person in Luz’s mind as she destroyed the portal door in the Season One finale. In the pilot, with no Camila, it feels like a non-sacrifice or even that big of a deal. She’s stuck, sure, but Luz doesn’t really seem to care that much. She feels happy being with Eda and King and doesn’t seem to be in that big of a rush to get home. Plus, it’s not exactly complicated to get back. There was a whole line of portal doors in the beginning that Luz could potentially sneak through and there’s not yet an established cannon that makes it seem like getting a new key would be difficult or even complicated. Once more, it gives the impression that this version of The Owl House would be focused less on personal stakes and more like giving Luz that fantasy adventure she’s always been craving for. It would make for a fun show, but not the SAME show. However, it is worth noting that there could be some potential drama. Especially for one twist that was a JOLT to my system.

EDA WORKS FOR THE EMPEROR?!: WHAT?!

I’ll admit, I feel like the reason why this is so shocking is because of the Eda I know and the Emperor I learned to fear. I mean, Eda, the woman who would sooner eat her own fist before even CONSIDERING helping Belos, even before the witch hunter business, was originally meant to HELP him. Of all the changes that the series could have made, this was by far the biggest. Everything that I thought to be constant turned out to be a lie and I was NOT prepared for it!

But again, the reason why I got that big of a reaction is because it goes against everything I knew about Eda. If this was my first introduction to her, it’d be less of a shocking twist and more of a…hook. Like how Invincible’s first episode (Don’t watch if you’re a baby) ends with a character you THOUGHT you could trust doing this intensely dark thing. The rest of the season is leading you to figure out WHY this was done and how the other characters would react, making you want to see more as the show inevitably leads up to this big conclusion that changes everything you once knew. The same applies here, with the reveal making me wonder why Eda would do this, how long she’s been doing it, how it will affect her relationship with Luz, and whether or not it’d be an easy fix. And much like the ending of Invincible’s first episode (Seriously, NOT meant for babies), this hook makes me interested in wanting to see what comes next. Except I never will know because that came from a version of The Owl House that will never exist.

The pilot is interesting because it shows me what The Owl House COULD have been. I wouldn’t say that it’s better than what we got or even that it’s a better first impression than “A Lying Witch and A Warden.” It’s definitely FUNNIER, I’ll give it that, but it doesn’t make the original pitch better, it makes it different. Everything looks the same and sounds the same, but the overall feel of this pilot makes it something that would have had a different story, tone, and ideas on how to develop these characters. Would I have liked it? Absolutely. It seems like a fun time. But that doesn’t mean I like the show we got any less. This was more like…getting a peek into an alternate universe where a show I already love would have been vastly different. And after over a year without any new Owl House content aside from stuff that fans have made, this was a very pleasant surprise that leaves me excited for the NEW fan content that springs from all this.

But that’s enough talking about a show that could have been made. Time to get back to a series that came into existence and I still love so much. See you all then as you all milk this gift that the internet has given you.

[gastlygallows]

Every Mort Has Her Day

Chapter 1 (AO3)

Pairing: Evil Morty/Morticia

Rating: 🔞

Words: 2,177

Warnings: Kidnapping (kinda?), making out, emotional manipulation, selfcest (duh)

Notes: Morticia is intended as a reader insert but this is 3rd person POV. Smut will be in chapter 2.

“DARKEST ABYSS OTOME TWIN RAPE SCENE”

Morticia typed into hentaihaven’s mobile website’s searchbar, curled up atop her bed. The best solution to insomnia on a school night was masturbating until she passed out.

As the search results loaded onto her phone, she scrolled them with one hand and reached her other underneath the pillow for her vibrator. She’d forgotten to wash it last time, so she’d need to pick off the cum crust. She could hear her mom rummaging in the kitchen downstairs and didn’t want to risk leaving her room to clean it in the bathroom, considering how embarrassing it was last time to get caught with an eight inch chunk of silicone in her hand.

It was a particular scene from a hentai OVA she was craving, in which the main character got double penetrated by a pair of twins that had captured her as their pet.

She specifically wanted the scene with the twins, not their pet lion and snake who also got a turn.

The electric hum of a portal opening in her room snapped her out of her lewd mission and had her shoving the pink vibrator back under the pillow. She jolted up out of bed wearing lacy blue underwear and a yellow tanktop.

“Grandpa, hold on!” She cried out, pulling the sheets and comforter from her bed to look for her pajama shorts. “I-I have to find my shorts!!”

But her pleas were ignored and it was not her grandpa emerging from the portal.

Two Morties wearing Citadel uniforms stepped out, one of them rubbing his gloved hands together at seeing her ass. 

The other elbowed him. “Aw geez, we’re supposed to act professional!”

He shrugged, trying to act coy. “C-C’mon, can’t we at least--at least admire the merchandise?”

Morticia growled and chucked her pillow at them, missing and sending it flying through the portal instead. “Get out of my room, Morty!”

The Morties pointed towards her unhidden vibrator and snickered. 

“Th-that thing is huge!”

“This one must be a size queen, huh?”

Morticia, face red, picked up her vibrator, jumped on her bed, then lunged at them, landing on one and hitting him across the face with her dried cum. “Sh-shut the fuck up!”

“Ow!!”

The other Morty behind her clamped his hand over her mouth, giving his partner the opportunity to smack the dildo from her hand and cuff her. 

She tried to bite into his knuckles, but the gloves were bite-proof. 

A drunk Beth knocked at the door. “Morti?? Are you--did you hurt yourself with that vibrator again?”

Morticia tried to scream.

One of the Morties cleared his throat and attempted to sound like a girl. 

“N-No, Mom!” He said in an unnaturally high voice. “I was just screaming because it felt so good pounding my own pussy!” 

“Well…” There was an awkward, disoriented silence behind the door. “Okay, then… Try to keep it down.”

Morticia banged her cuffed fists at the boy below her as they took delight in her frustration. 

“Oh, please,” the Morty behind her said, pulling her up to stand on her feet. “N-Not like we meant to walk in on you being horny.”

“Whoa,” the other said, reaching up to cup her breasts beneath her top. “Bro these are huge for a Morticia!”

She squirmed and attempted to elbow the Morty behind her, but he kneed her in the back first. 

“You’re just now noticing?”

“Hard to notice when I’m being beat with a plastic dick, dick!” He picked up the vibrator from the floor and sniffed it. 

“C’mon, let’s fucking go!” The other shoved Morticia through the portal. 

Morty stuffed the vibrator in his pants pocket, where it noticeably protruded. 

As they entered the enclave of green, Morticia could feel her eyes tearing up at sheer fear of the unknown awaiting her.

She'd only visited the Citadel a few times, which was enough to know that Morticias were a hot commodity. She didn't want to go there again, especially without Rick and without a portal gun. 

The Morty removed his hand from her mouth when they arrived in a spacious bedroom.

The canopy bed was made neatly with plain black sheets and a large set of windows circled around the perimeters of the walls, granting a birds eye view to the city below.

"Wh-where are we?" She asked. "Oh god, am I being sex trafficked?! This has to be on the level of a war crime or something, r-right?"

Standing in the corner in front of a mirror was another Morty dressed in black, adjusting his collar with an uncharacteristic confident smile.

“Hello, Morticia,” he said smoothly, looking at her reflection. “I’m sorry to pull you out of your room so late at night.”

“W-Well, uh.” She straightened her back and cleared her throat, inwardly grimacing at the sound of the portal closing behind them. “I wasn’t doing anything important. Just trying to masturbate and get to bed! I have a science test tomorrow.”

She narrowed her eyes as the cuffs vanished from her wrists. “That’s all.”

The Morty in black reached for a red tie on his dresser and, impressively, looped it under his collar and began tying it all by himself.

Morticia wrung her hands together now that he wasn’t looking at her and cleared her throat. “So, uh, is this like a prostitution call or?”

The guard next to her rolled his eyes and swung an arm towards the Morty in black. “Do you see him putting on more clothes?!”

“You abducted me in my underwear!”

The Morty in black waved a hand at them. “Leave us. Thank you.”

Without another word, the two Morties that had snatched Morticia away out of her room in the dead of night left into a portal, one of them still carrying her vibrator in his pocket. Thief.

“I apologize for my guards’ rambunctious behavior,” Morty continued, pointing over to the sliding closet door behind Morticia. “There’s a dress and a bra in there for you. Don’t worry. I won’t look.”

He walked over to the other corner, free of mirrors, and with both hands behind his back he patiently waited.

Morticia looked up to the ceiling.

“There are no cameras in here,” he assured her without so much as turning his head.

“O-Okay.” 

Inside of the closet was indeed a plain but frilly black dress with short sleeves and a matching bra that was a cup size too small. 

She squeezed the fabric to the undergarment and then her own boob, taking some amount of pride in knowing that this could only mean she was bigger than he’d expected.

* * * * *

Morticia sat directly across from Morty at a rectangular table, shyly glancing between him and the floor as a uniformed Rick served them dinner–steak and potatoes and, at her request, chicken tenders with fries. 

There was also a bottle of wine and some empty glasses between them, which led her to think that a Rick would be joining them but to her surprise Morty nodded at the servant and a glass was poured for each of them.

There were too many seats at this table for it to be intended for only two people, adding to a sense of growing unease as she felt his unwavering gaze.

Since when does a Morty keep eye contact this long?

She’d been oggled at plenty of times before by her male counterparts, but there was always a juvenile nature to it and an immaturity that this Morty was totally lacking.

This was the most confident Morty she’d ever seen. Not a single stutter. 

“S-So, uh,” she finally said when the server Rick left the room, picking up a fry and biting into half of it. “The Citadel.”

Morty watched her with half lidded eyes, his cheek resting against his palm. “Yeah. The Citadel.”

“You must be one important Morty. To have a Rick serving you.”

“Yeah, I suppose I am.” He sat upright and took his glass of wine between his fingers, taking a sip. “I’m the democratically elected president.”

Morticia nearly choked on her fry. “President?! Democracy?!”

“I imagine you must be quite out of the loop?”

“I’ve never exactly been in the loop when it comes to the Citadel, if I’m being honest.”

“Given your origins, that isn’t surprising, so I’ll just tell you: C-137, the Rick who founded the Citadel in the first place, killed the council and for a while this place was left without any leadership. An election was decided, I ran my campaign, and I won.”

He shrugged, as if he were explaining something as simple as tying his shoes. “In part, I won because no one expected me to. When your opponents underestimate you, it gives you a significant edge.”

She looked at her wine, then decided to take a drink of water, instead. “And the other part?”

Morty furrowed his brows and looked away from her for the first time since they’d sat down. “The other part was knowing Ricks and how they think.”

“You must be like the smartest Morty ever.” Morticia scratched the side of her head and laughed awkwardly. “I'm sorry to say, but I'm pretty dumb. Estrogen and stuff makes it impossible for me to do math right, so…I dunno what you want with me? You said you know my origins, though, so you must already know that? K-Kinda goes without saying…”

“I can only know what's on paper.” Morty halfheartedly shrugged. “That you’re one of the few surviving Morticias out of a batch cloned in the lab formerly known as Labius57. Graduated with your sisters and eventually assigned to three different Ricks and two separate families but they keep dying on you and then it’s back to the auction house.”

She sighed, placing her head in both of her hands and numbly staring down at the table, any semblance of appetite lost. “That pretty much sums it up. My life isn’t exactly great. Last week my Rick had me shove a bag of alien drugs up my pussy to smuggle through customs. I’m not a pocket, damn it!

“That’s why I brought you here.” Morty spoke candidly, slowly moving a hand to his heart. “If you want to leave behind Ricks and fake families that don’t love you, I’ll be more than happy to have you by my side. But not as a sidekick.”

Morticia perked up and tilted her head. “That sounds great, but what’s the catch?”

Morty laughed for a moment, standing up out of his seat and walking over to her.

He pet her dark curls through his fingers. “The only catch is that you keep my secrets, do what I ask, and never betray me. Now, I know what you’re thinking: how many Morticias has he been through already? I have one ex, but that’s it. I recalibrated what I was looking for after that, which led me to your file.”

“W-Wow, really? You never pursued a Jessica?”

He shrugged. “No. Was never an option for me, anyway.”

“I’ve never dated a Morty before, but...” She shyly smiled up at him and placed her hand over his, relishing in the warmth of his skin and squeezing his palm. “But can I be honest? I’ve always had a selfcest fetish and when I first learned there were a bunch of boy versions of me I was both turned on and scared c-cause, y’know, I don’t wanna be like a slut or anything so I’ve been too nervous to hit on myself–”

Morty gripped her hair and pulled her head up ever so slightly, leaning over to push his lips against hers and pull her into a kiss.

She kissed him back with an open mouth, relishing in the taste of his tongue that was still wet with blood from his steak.

They made out with raspy breaths, Morticia moaning into him pathetically, closing her eyes and wishing that she could just melt into him–this Morty was everything that she could ever aspire to be, everything that every Morty should aspire to be: independent, confident, free of the cosmic grip of their infinite grandpas…

It really must be my lucky day, she thought, wrapping her arms around his torso and pulling him closer to her, deliberately pushing her breasts against his chest. 

Morty’s mouth parted from her and he pulled away before she could go in for another kiss, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

He was panting. “Well, Morticia? Do you accept?”

“I–”

He pinched her cheek. “I’ll teach you to be my equal and we’ll go on adventures, just you and me.”

“Adventures?” She echoed, stars in her eyes. “I-I haven’t been on a real adventure in forever.”

“Then let’s go on one! Right fucking now.” He pulled her up to her feet and fetched his portal gun from his back pocket, blasting open a green rift just feet away from them.

A breeze sifted through their hair as the unknown awaited. 

They nodded at each other and jumped in, hand in hand.

[janetbrown711]

"its fine, really! I'm used to it...” “what you meant you’re used to it??” but yax

After careful and long hours of research, Yakko came to the conclusion that he at least admired Max.

He had only seen Max in person once, but there was just something magnetic about the far-away prince that intrigued and fascinated Yakko. So much so, that for the next month or so, Yakko dove headfirst into studying all he could about Max and his country. He tried to share the fascinating history and details with his younger siblings, but they clearly weren't as into it as he was. That didn't deter him though, he was determined to learn absolutely everything he possibly could- even going into Angelina's old private study for books.

It was weird not having her around to stop any of it. Was this what pure joy and excitement with no downsides was like? If so, Yakko really liked it.

Either way, he was ecstatic when his mother told him she was officially making plans to take him to Disneyland to see Max (and diplomatic stuff, but they both knew that wasn't the main reason). Upon hearing the news, he then hurried and changed his studies entirely into conversations and how to have them.

Upon his and Max's first encounter, Yakko realized he was terrible at conversations, but now Yakko swore he'd be better than good- he'd be a conversation master. He studied examples both fictional and non about advice and how royals interact with each other and conversations one was supposed to hold and he complied his notes into a handy notebook that could fit into his pocket in case he got into a tough spot mid conversation. After all- he'd probably be there for hours and hours- that's a long time to be entertaining.

So he poured himself into his studies for a week or so (time was really alluding his grasp as of late) and before he knew it, it was time for him to go. However, not before a weird reaction from Wakko he wasn't expecting... seriously, if anything, Yakko expected Wakko to be happy for him because that meant he wouldn't have to hear about Disneyland for awhile, but instead he got really accusatory. But his parents assured him that it was nothing and his mother went to comfort him while he prepared for his journey.

"That's a big notebook," Dot said, lurking by his door as he flipped through his notes for what must've been the millionth time this week.

"I have a lot to remember," Yakko said, putting it in his pocket.

"Why do you care so much?" Dot asked. Yakko blinked.

"I just... do? He's the first friend I've had... ever," He said, making her move so he could head out the room.

"But I thought me and Wakko-..." Dot didn't finish her sentence. Yakko stopped.

"Max is just... different. I can't explain it- I'm trying to understand, but he's really just... different. A good different," He tried his best to explain, but he knew it fell short.

"Oh... you must really like him?" Dot asked.

"I guess, yeah," Yakko blushed. "He's just- the coolest person I've ever met, and now that Grandma's gone and I'm free to just- hang out with people, yeah," He scratched the back of his neck, aware of the fact he needed to get going. When Dot didn't respond to that, he pursed his lips.

"Welp- I gotta get going," He gave a quick wave, not waiting for her to return it before getting going- he wanted to spend as much time as possible in Disneyland.

Hurriedly, he rushed down the halls all the way down the grand stairs and out the main doors to the carriage, where his mother was waiting for him.

"Getting something?" Lena teased, as the coachman opened the door for them.

"Just a few notes," Yakko said, following his mother as she entered. She chuckled.

"You don't need to be so nervous, dear. From what I've seen, Max already likes you very much," Lena said soothingly as the carriage started to move.

"I just... I want this to be perfect," Yakko sighed, and leaned against the window of the carriage.

Lena snorted. "You and I have a lot in common," She said, fiddling with the fingers of her gloves.

"The last time I was out of this castle before the incident was- well... the wedding... but before that? I don't think I've ever been out..." The queen looked back as her home grew further and further away. "Outside of parties and suitors I've never really dealt in diplomatic situations. God knows my mother never prepared me for half of the things- I just..." She took a deep breath.

"I want this to go perfectly too... but Scratchnsniff says perfection is an impossible goal and we should aim for something more obtainable," She reminded herself. Yakko glanced at her briefly, before returning to the window.

He wasn't sure what he thought of Scratchnsniff. Dot and his parents all seemed to like him, but he still hadn't opened up to him, even though it had been over a month now. They'd be doing... okay sometimes, but the moment the doctor tried talking about Angelina, Yakko refused to give him the satisfaction. He knew he was there to help but- yeah... That wasn't going to happen any time soon.

"We got a long ride, huh?" Lena chuckled, more nervously this time.

"Yeah..." was all he said. He had a lot on his mind, and he could tell his mother did too. Hopefully, by the time they actually arrived, they'd be able to make sense of everything and enjoy their time in Disneyland- though they'd have to wait and see.

.o0o.

The ride wasn't terrible, but it was rather long and tiresome, so it was easy to say that when they finally arrived they were both relieved.

Both Yakko and Lena were surprised at just how different Disneyland was from Warnerstock just from the windows. Everything was brighter, orderly to the point of confusion (to them anyway), and boy oh boy was it big. The castle itself was the biggest example of this, as it seemed to have countless towers and was impossible to take in all at once. Then again, the royal family was quite large and Disney was known for it's welcoming nature and having guests often, so it didn't really surprise them. It was just a lot to take in at once.

However, they didn't have to take that all in for long, as they were guided inside by a few guards and were taken to the throne room, where the three kings were sitting- a duck on the left, a mouse in the middle, and a very tall dog on the right.

"Angelina? Wow, it really is you! How have ya been?" The Mouse immediately stood upon seeing them enter.

"Mickey! Oh it's been years hasn't it?" Lena chuckled and went and hugged him, which the mouse gladly returned, leaving Yakko and the others very confused.

"Do... you... know him?" Yakko raised an eyebrow.

Lena cleared her throat and stepped back. "Right- yes, I forgot to tell you, Michael here was a suitor of mine back in the day," She explained. "Obviously, it didn't work out, as both of our hearts belonged to another, but it wasn't a completely terrible three days."

"Oh please, I'm Mickey to friends," Mickey said. Lena nodded.

"Right, yes, Mickey," Lena corrected.

"Oh," Yakko nodded slowly.

"You must be Yakko then. It's a pleasure to have you as a guest," Mickey smiled and shook Yakko's hand. The dog king's head perked up.

"It's a pleasure to be here," Yakko replied, hoping his nervousness wasn't showing.

"Prince Yakko?" The dog king stood and walked over. "It's a pleasure to meet you, h'yuk," He laughed as he shook Yakko's hand. "Max has told me about you."

"Oh, you must be Goofy, pleasure to meet you," His nervousness increased tenfold. He couldn't believe he didn't put that together upon seeing him immediately.

"Daaaaaaaaad," Max entered the room, looking at the ground with his face red as a tomato.

"Hiya Max! I was just introducing myself to your friend here," Goofy grinned, still shaking Yakko's hand.

"This is why I don't tell you things," Max muttered to himself. "Can we go?" He asked, grabbing Yakko's arm, freeing him from the handshake.

Mickey nodded. "Of course, we got our own business to deal with, you two have fun," He said, and with that, Max practically dragged Yakko out of the room.

"I am so sorry you had to deal with that," He sighed as the guards closed the door behind them and Max let go of his arm.

"Deal with what?" Yakko tilted his head slightly.

"My Dad- he just- he doesn't know when to stop no matter how many times I talk to him," Max shook his head. "C'mon, I know a good spot to hang out. Watch out for running triplets."

"Running triplets?" Yakko raised an eyebrow.

"Huey, Dewey and Louie like running around without warning- as do Morty and Ferdie and if Daisy's over then so do April, May and June- just keep an ear out for them," Max explained, checking both ways before crossing a hallway.

"Right, right," Yakko nodded, not really understanding how they'd ever be allowed to do that. Then again, not having a tyrannical grandmother around probably let them have a lot more freedom and fun.

The pair went down a few halls, always checking both ways as they went, before they reached a room that Max let him into to reveal that it led to a fairly small room with a few chairs, but outside of that was a large balcony it was clear the dog prince frequented.

"Nice place," Yakko admired the room as Max opened the glass doors for him.

"I come here a lot to clear my head," Max said, closing the door behind him. "And to get away from my family."

Max must've really not liked them, huh...

"Yeah... I could really use a place like this," Yakko admired the craftsmanship of the columns holding up the railing.

"Watch this," Max winked, picking up a stone from a pile of rocks, and throwing it down into the giant pond in the garden bellow, causing a massive splash and ripple.

"Cool," Yakko said.

"It's nothing really," Max blushed again and went to where the rail met the wall and sat on it. "Wanna sit?" He patted the spot next to him.

"Oh- I uh-..." Yakko peered over the edge cautiously. It wasn't too far a fall, but still. It was easy to say it was far enough down to make even the most un-acrophobic person a little nervous.

"Oh, are you afraid of heights? I'm sorry, I-"

"No no no, I can handle it," Yakko swallowed his fear and sat next to him, glad that it was wide enough for him to feel supported. Still, he wrapped his tail around the edge loosely as a precaution.

"So... what do you think?" Max asked. "Of Disneyland, I mean."

"I think it's really... different. Very organized, very..." Yakko thought to himself. "Very homogeneous and large, yeah."

Max snorted. "Homogeneous?"

"It means similar or 'the same'," Yakko cursed himself internally. Max laughed with a little 'hyuk' in there that made Yakko relax, though a familiar fluttering in his stomach returned.

"You're really smart, aren't you?" Max asked.

"Yeah... my grandmother's pride alright," Yakko looked at the garden.

Great, barely five minutes into the conversation and he already broke his number one rule he wrote to himself: Don't bring up Grandma.

"I don't think it's your grandma's fault you're smart. If that was true, then I'd be a lot more wacky like Dad," Max did his best to reassure, which despite all odds did kinda work.

"You keep bringing up how much you don't like your family," Yakko commented. "Why?"

"Why? You've barely even met them- they are just beyond crazy and drive me up the wall with how embarrassing and tiresome they can be," Max crossed his arms.

"I mean- my sibs can be a little crazy at times but I still like them," Yakko said.

"You don't know them," Max sighed, looking out to the garden too. Yakko decided it was probably best he drop the subject for now.

However, after that was a long stretch of silence, and Yakko started to panic as it got longer and longer and he couldn't think of a thing to say. Thankfully though, he remembered the notebook sitting in his pocket and he slowly and carefully took it out and looked for a good conversation starter.

"What is your favorite type of weather?" He asked, quickly slipping it back into his pocket. Max immediately burst into laughter.

"Where'd you think of a question like that?" He asked.

"If you don't like it I can ask a different one," Yakko turned bright red as he flusteredly turned over, pulling out the notebook and flipping through it.

"Do you have a notebook of conversation starters?" Max caught a glimpse.

"Whaaaat? Me??? Pssshhhh," Yakko adamantly denied, but he sighed, knowing he had been caught.

"Yeah... I figured since I majorly screwed up talking like a normal person last time I'd take some notes so the conversation would be far less depressing and not so... trauma centered," He admitted, showing him the notebook.

"Wait- you think you're screwing up?" Max seemed baffled, which confused the Warnerstockian Prince.

"I mean- yeah..? No matter what I do I always end up thinking about the same stupid topic and I dunno... you seem so much more normal than me," Yakko admitted, looking away.

"I feel like I've just been a bumbling dork this whole time," Max admitted too. "You've been really smart and interesting this whole time, with your fancy words and observations about stuff and... yeah," He scratched his neck.

"You think I'm interesting?" Yakko looked at him.

"Yeah man," Max looked at him, though only briefly. "You're... cool."

That made the fluttering increase tenfold.

"You're really cool too," Yakko smiled. Max nodded his head in acknowledgement, looking out to the garden once more.

"You know... I promised I'd give you some sporting pointers when you came by. Perhaps I should 'make good' on that promise," Max said, gesturing to the pile of rocks and other such objects clearly designated for throwing into the pond.

"Okay," Yakko agreed to it, putting the notes back in his pocket, following Max as he went over to the pile.

"The trick is that it's all in the wrist, and if you keep your eyes focused on where you wanna throw it, it does a lot to help it actually go there," Max said, as he picked up a rock and threw it with all his might, and it crashed far into the pond.

"In the wrist, huh?" Yakko nodded and acted like that made sense. He then picked up a rock, and threw it with all his might. However, his might was rather pathetic, and all he managed to do was to crack the tiling around the pond and it shattered into pieces, as Yakko felt the blood drain from his face.

"Max, I-i'm so so so so so so sorry, I-i-" Yakko sputtered out apologies but Max just started laughing and laughing.

"It's okay Yakko. We're royalty, remember? My dad'll just have someone fix it, it's totally cool," He placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "But hey, other than that, that wasn't half bad."

"She'd totally kill me if I did that at home though," Yakko cursed himself.

"She? Who, your mom? Cuz from what I've heard she's a big sap," Max said, confused.

"Not mom, my grandma," Yakko sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"Your grandma's dead, Yakko. She can't punish you for that. You can break all the tiles you want here, it's cool," Max said, now deeply concerned for his new friend.

"Right- you're absolutely right. I'm sorry," Yakko took a deep breath.

"It's cool... I get that it must be hard moving on from that," Max's hand lingered on Yakko's shoulder a minute before he put it down.

"Yeah..." Yakko sighed as he realized he broke the rule yet again.

"I know you probably don't want to, but if you ever need or want to talk about it, I'm more than happy to listen," Max offered. Yakko smiled a little.

"Thanks... that means a lot more than you probably know," He said. Max smiled too.

"You're a lot cooler than you give yourself credit for, you know?" Max said. "You may not be the best at sports, but you are really good at talking, which is more than I can say."

"You sell yourself short," Yakko disagreed.

"Maybe we both do," Max shrugged, returning to the ledge.

"Yeah... maybe," Yakko said, sitting next to him once more.

As they began to chat more about much lighter and happier topics, a warm spring breeze began to rush by and Yakko began to just... notice things about Max. The way his fluffy and wild hair flowed in the wind, the way his eyes sparkled when he talked about one of his passions, his cute laugh that he always seemed to try and suppress, the way he stuck his hands in his pockets, his smile, the compassion and comradery in his eyes...

Yakko could gaze into those eyes for an eternity.

"It's getting pretty late... isn't it?" Max began to notice the sky beginning to turn a rosey shade of pink as the sun began to set.

"Yeah... I guess that means we have to get going soon, huh?" Yakko tried to play it casually, but he knew he'd miss Max dearly. Max's side glances told him he felt the same.

"Maybe you can write to me? A-and maybe... Maybe I'll convince dad or Uncle Mickey to take me to Warnerstock?" Max scratched the back of his neck, clearly trying to play it cool.

"I'd love that," Yakko smiled, before pondering if using the word "love" was inappropriate. It wasn't like he- well... liked him, or anything... right..?

"Okay," Max smiled back.

They stayed smiling at each other much longer than was normal, though neither really minded.

"Maxy? Yakko?" The voice of Goofy called for them outside the room outside the balcony.

"I need to go," Yakko said. "But... I will write, I promise."

"I believe you," Max nodded. "Though... don't be surprised if my letters are short and my handwriting attrocious- I'm not the best when it comes to any of that stuff," He said, getting down from the rail, offering his hand to "help" Yakko down.

Yakko took it.

"I'm sure it won't be any worse than Wakko's," He said.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Max chuckled as Yakko got off, still holding his hand.

However, they instantly let go when Goofy entered the room.

"There ya are- you're mom's looking for you. It's gettin' late," Goofy said, opening the glass door.

"Right, yes.. thanks, dad," Max pursed his lips and looked away.

"I'll write, I promise," Yakko said.

"Y-yeah, okay," Max nodded and smiled. "I'll... see you soon."

"See you soon," Yakko nodded, before forcing himself to walk away (a task that was a lot harder than he expected it to be). Goofy then guided him back to the throne room, where his mother was talking with Mickey and Donald (Yakko figured that was who he was), but she stopped when he entered.

"There you are," She smiled as he returned to her side. "Have fun?"

"Yep," He nodded briefly, hoping she didn't expect him to get into detail here and now.

"It's been great catching up, Angelina," Mickey told her.

"I couldn't agree more. And it's been a pleasure meeting you two, Goofy, Donald," She nodded at both of them. "I'm afraid I must get going, but I'd love to meet up again sometime- or possibly take Max off your hands for an afternoon," Lena teased Yakko, causing him to turn red.

"I'm sure he'd love that," Goofy smiled.

"Have a safe trip," Donald said in the scratchiest, most garbled voice Yakko ever heard in his life. It was so incomprehensible he had to actively bury his shock and confusion as to not offend him.

"Thank you," Lena nodded at the three of them. "It's been a pleasure, truly."

"Yeah.. see you," Yakko felt like he had to say goodbye too, but having not just spent the past several hours with them, it felt awkward. Mickey chuckled.

"See you," He said.

With that, Lena and Yakko made their way out of the castle and back into their carriage and began on their way back home.

"So... how was your day?" Lena asked once the carriage began to move.

"It was nice. Max is... cool," Despite his research, cool was still the best word to describe him.

"That's good, he seems like a very nice kid," She nodded in approval. "I wouldn't mind having him over sometime in the future."

"That'd be great," Yakko agreed with enthusiasm that made her laugh.

"Okay, I'll arrange a date," She chuckled.

"What about your day? How was all those meetings?" Yakko asked, not just out of politeness but a genuine curiosity.

"I half expected Mickey not to remember me, so it was a pleasant surprise. And Goofy and Donald are quite the lovely characters too, very strong personalities. I can see why their kingdom works so well," She said with a nod.

"But I know you really don't want to hear about all that. Please, tell me more about Max," Lena said.

Yakko told her all that happened, not glossing over a single detail. She listened with intent, and couldn't help but laugh here and there.

"It sounds like you're rather fond of Max, no?" She said.

"What do you mean?" Yakko blinked. His mother chuckled to herself.

"Oh nothing, I'm sure you'll figure it out on your own in due time," She said.

"Okay..?" Yakko raised an eyebrow, not sure where she was getting at. However, it was clear she wasn't going to be giving any more hints so Yakko dropped it.

Whatever it was, she clearly had perfect faith he'd figure it out sooner or later, so perhaps it was best he focus on other things- like what he was going to write in his letter to Max. There would be so many topics to choose from, and this time he'd have all the time in the world to think of a perfect response. Honestly, he should've started writing letters sooner. It just made so much sense- Yakko could think of the perfect response before sending it away and he could read over Max's responses over and over again. Maybe he could even find a box to store them in. That sounded really nice...

Yakko thought back to his mother's words, and decided it was true.

Yakko was rather fond of his dear friend, Max.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 The End

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Arcade - Komaeda x Reader

ミ☆  Just a silly thing I wrote about an arcade employee being baffled while Komaeda clears out all the machines lol ミ☆ I’ve been feeling kind of down about my writing so i just wanted to do something fun. It’s not very good haha. I’m tired and i can’t write good asjfkakd

Night shift at the arcade is usually pretty quiet. Most people start leaving around dinner time and while there are usually still some hardcore gamers lurking around until the AM, most of them only come in on Friday’s or weekends. So the job is usually easy breezy, most nights you lean up on the counter and browse the internet on your phone until your shift ends.

Tonight though, you have been acutely watching as this guy moves from machine to machine. Absolutely clearing them out. You’ve never seen anything like it. Presently, you are crouched behind a claw machine filled with Hello Kitty plushies as this guy slips two bucks into the Big Bass Wheel cabinet. Your eyes drift over to the last cabinet he used, the Wizard of Oz coin pusher. It is empty , you have never seen that happen in the whole time you’ve worked here. You weren’t even sure it could happen.

The guy spins the wheel, it spins and spins and spins. Jackpot. Your eyes narrow, a jackpot isn’t too uncommon, it honestly isn’t even worth that many tickets, but then he nonchalantly slides in another two dollars and hits jackpot again . This is starting to get suspicious.

The machine is spitting out tickets now, so many tickets. Even the guy looks surprised, you are definitely surprised. Two jackpots is not worth that many tickets, but they just keep coming and coming. Machine fault? Must be. The guy looks almost resigned at this point, sighing unhappily as the tickets keep spewing out, like they’re wasting his time and not like this was a superhuman feat of luck. Then, the machine starts smoking.

“Shit!” You hiss, jumping up from your hiding place behind the claw machine and dashing over to the guy before anything catches on fire. You’ve caught him by surprise, he probably didn’t realise you were following him around, “out of the way, please!”

He ducks out of the way, pulling his armfuls worth of tickets along with him as you switch the arcade cabinet off at the wall. The machinery inside stops whirring and the smoke calms down. You wipe your forehead with the back of your hand, you’ve never seen a machine fault this badly before, you were probably going to need to file an indecent report. What a pain.

“You okay?” You ask the guy. He is a lot taller up close, and the shock of messy white hair on his head only makes him seem taller. He sways like a palm tree in the breeze, clutching onto his massive wad of tickets for dear life.

“I’m sorry. I broke your machine.”

Oh...his voice is softer than you had expected it would be. The lights from a nearby Daytona cabinet are reflecting in his green eyes. You swallow, “You didn't break anything, machine fault, it happens sometimes.”

His eyes drift away from you and over to the cabinet, the smoke has stopped now, it doesn't look like there was too much damage, but he looks very upset about it anyway.

“Hey, seriously, dont worry about it.” You give him an awkward pat on his forearm, “The machines in here are really old, stuff like this happens all the time.”

“Oh...ah…” He bites his lip, “If you’re sure…”

You smile, “Yeah, don't even sweat it. You can keep the tickets by the way, once they're out of the machine it's a nightmare to get them back in again, so consider it an apology for almost setting you on fire.”

He laughs weakly, “Thank you.”

“Hey, uh…” You start, not so subtle eyeing his ticket collection. A decent chunk of it was from that Big Bass Wheel malfunction, an already exorbitant number was won legit. More than you had ever seen anyone win before, “are you a cabinet master?”

“A...what?”

“Like, you know all the sweet spots on the machines. Technically not cheating, but not entirely legal either.”

His eyes widen, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” You shake your head at him, ��You just won a lot of tickets is all. I’ve never seen someone win that many tickets.”

“I’m just really lucky. It’s all i'm good at, honestly.” He’s fiddling with the tickets in his arms, “My friend’s birthday is coming up and i'm trying to win her that Sailor Moon statue.”

It is true that there is a coveted Sailor Moon statue amongst the arcade’s prize collection. It’s huge, beautifully painted and according to your boss, incredibly rare . It’s been sitting there on the shelf for god knows how long, still tight in it’s shrinkwrap. Generally the most any player is able to afford is three or four sticky hands and a glow in the dark spider ring, but this guy is getting tantalisingly close.

You cross your arms and smirk at him, “You’re really that lucky?”

“Most of the time.”

“Okay then. You’re going to play Monster Drop next, it's the hardest cabinet we have.” You start heading over to the machine in the back of the arcade, it’s huge, you always forget how huge it is. The guy is diligently following behind you, shoulders hunched like he’s trying to make himself seem smaller. The pile of tickets in his arms rustling as he walks, “I’ve never seen anyone get a monster jackpot on this thing. Also my boss filled it with a bunch of different sized balls, so it's basically impossible to get a standard jackpot too, even after practicing at other arcades.”

“Hm. Is that really fair?”

You shrug a shoulder, “Nope. It’s big and loud, so lots of people want to play it and Boss doesn't want too many people winning. there's a catch though, raise the difficulty and you also raise the ticket payout. So if you manage to beat it, you'll be able to afford Sailor Moon.”

The current ticket payout is displayed in flashing red lights, 72,483 . With every failed attempt at hitting the monster jackpot the payout just gets higher and higher, those tantalising numbers draw in more kids hoping to be the one who gets lucky. A number that big means the cabinet has never been won, a smart arcade goer knows that a number like that means stay away.

“How do I play?” He asks, dropping his ticket collection on the ground at his feet.

“Ah, it’s deceptively simple.” You grab his hand and tug him over to the machine, gesturing up at where the balls drop down from, “You just need to press the button to let out a ball, and that’s literally it. The base of the machine spins around to make it harder to get the balls in. Monster jackpot is in the middle, so you would think a straight drop down would jackpot you every time but-”

He smirks wryly, “it’s never that easy is it?”

“Of course not! We’d never make any money if it was.”

He laughs to himself, pulling another coin out of his pocket and clinking it into the machine, “Ah, only one turn?”

You hold up a finger, “Just the one.”

He laughs again, “Brutal.”

“Very.” You take a step back to give him room to familiarise himself with the machine. Most people like to observe it from a few angles, take some time, watch at least one cycle before using up their one shot, “Good luck.”

He turns to you and smiles, “Thanks, but like i said, this is the one thing i'm good at.” He pushes the button, he isn't even looking at the machine, the rotating base hasn't even finished half a cycle. This guy is ballsy.

Despite his gumption, the ball falls a little short of the monster jackpot, “Aw, bad luck-” you start saying, but then it starts bouncing. Once off the base, three times off the sides, up high into the air and then plonk . Straight into the monster jackpot. All you can do is stare. Not only did he get the jackpot, he got it in a rigged machine while he wasn't even looking .

He laughs politely, the sound barely audible of the cabinet’s furious ringing bells and sirens signalling an impossible feat just happened here, everyone look! The tickets have started dispensing, with over 70k to print, it's going to be a long wait, “Jeez, that was scary. I almost thought my luck had run out there!”

He looks completely relaxed as he starts folding the fresh tickets into the neatest pile he can manage, “Are you a god or something?”

“Huh?” He says, blinking down at you, “That’s such a strange thing to ask me.”

“You just beat Monster Drop without looking . I’ve seen professional cabinet masters come in here and still lose after examining the machine for a good two hours!”

“Oh, no need to be impressed. I didn't actually do anything.” He smiles sadly and continues collecting his tickets, “It’s not really much of a talent, but i suppose it comes in handy sometimes.”

You clap a palm to your forehead, unable to believe what you are hearing, “You’re going to have enough tickets for the Sailor Moon statue and enough leftover for like...unlimited sticky hands.”

He taps a finger to his lips, “Oh! I would like some sticky hands.”

“How many?”

His brow creases as he considers it, “Three or four, i guess.”

“Three or-” you start laughing, “Buddy, i could pour the whole box into your bag if you wanted.”

“I don't think i need that many sticky hands, but it's very kind of you to offer.”

“We also have glow in the dark spider rings, and a robust selection of slinkies. Oh! If you really want to splurge we have a pair of slippers that resemble a character from Rick and Morty.”

He grimaces, “I would prefer the slinkies.”

You hear the arcade cabinet’s ticket dispenser finally come to a stop, and despite his good natured effort to collect the tickets in a neat pile, they are still all bunched up around his ankles. You are about to ask him another question when you quickly realise that the Monster Drop machine is now also smoking.

He sighs, “I should have known.”

You don't have time to look into that comment, you are too busy scrambling around to the back of the machine so you can turn the power off at the wall. Much like last time, you catch it before anything actually catches on fire. This has been a very eventful day.

“Hey, uh-” you start awkwardly, pulling yourself up from the ground and moving to help the guy contend with his ticket pile, “I finish in like half an hour...if you need help carrying your miscellaneous arcade prizes back to your car or whatever…”

He blinks at you as you both reach the prize counter and deposit the monstrous ticket collection onto the bench, “I should be okay on my own...but if you want to come I wouldn't mind, though I can’t guarantee I won’t set anything else on fire…” he chuckles nervously and you give him a quizzical look.

You do want to go with him, you aren't sure if it’s just a morbid curiosity about his luck with the arcade machines, or a fascination with the soft halo of white hair falling into his eyes, but you want to get to know him better, “I’ll come with you. You don’t have anywhere near enough fingers for all the glow in the dark spider rings I’m about to give you.” You say as you round the counter and start organising his tickets into more manageable piles.

He smiles, “that does sound like a good idea. I don’t want to drop any of my brand new sticky hands, after all.” He leans forward on the counter, blinking up at you. He’s got really pretty eyelashes, “I’m Nagito Komaeda, in case you were wondering.”

You laugh, “Nice to meet you, Nagito. Now give me 20 minutes to count all your damn tickets.”

[backtoblackin14]

It’s been wild.

Friday, we went off to main whitefield area for a bit in the morning cuz A had some bank work. We took my bike and it must have been maybe a 15-20 min ride one way, but damn, I really enjoyed it. Got back and mostly studied the rest of the day. I got pretty saturated by evening, and just did dinner and tv. 

Saturday, I took the entrance exam, 20 multiple choice questions... and I switched 2 choices at the very end because self doubt.. I got the right things first. But otherwise it was fine I guess. I think I didn’t quite know what to do afterwards, the whole week had just been work and studying and meditations. 

I checked out an episode or two of Ginny and Georgia, and it was trashy. We had lunch and then friends were over again. I got triggered again. I also had that put on personality around them again. Like two off instances that jump out in an otherwise okay afternoon. And as it happens with this friend, I remained stoned pretty much the rest of the day. And because of that thoughts weren’t really flowing as much. After they left, A and I got dinner and picked up a really slow movie that we eventually abandoned. And then because we literally had nothing else to do, we played one game of scrabble which turned out to be good fun. 

I woke up the Sunday morning with all the feelings from the previous day siltently screaming at me. It was just going in circles a bit and then I finally had a smoke and just let them wash over me. Two off instances that basically colour up the whole thing for me... and I’m not entirely myself (because some where along the way I internalized that I couldn’t be myself completely with these ppl). In that moment I really got tired of it and wanted to do something about it. I’m not sure what though. I just put it aside, we were going home so that my dad could meet A officially. Drove down and I didn’t have to do much, but it went nicely. A can talk, he put out all the info nicely, general knowledge and agenda points lol. And I came back feeling reallly nice. Spent the rest of the evening getting stoned and watching Rick and Morty, and it was just comfortable and cosy what with the rain and all.  And then Monday was.. just confusing. It was a little jarring to be back at work and then with the exam and stuff I’m even more disconnected. I have the interview on Wednesday. I didn’t have too much work, I think I was just checking stuff and then got down to work later in the day. And by evening I had a mild fever because something on my thigh was inflamed and I spent the rest of the evening and night just worrying about it. Popped a dolo after dinner and just slept early. Woke up and fever had broken, I had to deal with some of the inflammation.. I spent the morning doing that. I do not have much inclination to study, because it’s too much to skim through. I read half of a tedious text book last week. I think somethings in it did get to me... very judgey huh some of these old timey psych dudes. Anyway, there’s been a lot going on. And I was super whine-y and feeling just bleh yesterday and kind of took the whole thing as you need a break ie. actually not doing anything sort of break. 

[slimesgeneratorfics]

I’m in a Discord server with @onemoontorulethemall , and they shared a whump idea that held me at gunpoint until I wrote a fic. Thank you for the inspiration for one of the longest fics I’ve ever written!

Title: Of Monsters and Men

Fandom: Rick and Morty

Word Count: 1684

Warnings: whump, serious injuries, uncensored swearing, canon-typical familial dysfunction (Seriously. If you’re not familiar with the show, this means quite a bit of dysfunction.)

Description: Based on the first arc (Issues 1-3) of the Rick and Morty comics, but the bug doesn’t escape the garage and... you’ll see. Read that if you want to catch cool references, but hopefully this works as a standalone too. But also, read the comic if you’re a fan of Rick and Morty. It deserves more love.

It had been three months since Morty had returned home without Rick: three full months without adventures, without purpose, and with one less person around to yell at him. Morty still didn’t understand why Rick had let him use the one-person portal out of that prison maze. Maybe Rick was done with this family and had finally decided to leave. Well, Morty was sick of living like this. He had to do something. Morty snuck into the garage, loaded some weapons into Rick’s car, and took off.

He barely made it past Mars when he was pulled over by space cops. The trial was much faster this time- he had already been found guilty, and this time Morty didn’t hesitate to make a mockery of the court system. It wasn’t that he wanted to go die in space prison, but he no longer had the energy to care about being good. If things went south, it was just one last hurrah for Morty, you know? No big deal.

They sent him to the same prison as before- Clackspire Labyrinth. Huge monsters and swarms of smaller monsters, none of which Morty recognized, attacked. Morty used Rick’s hidden panels to find weapons that made it easy to slice through every threat. He didn’t feel tired. He was fueled by spite and the desire to not die pathetically.

Morty heard the sounds of monsters being slashed around the next corner. This was strange- none of the prisoners he’d seen survived more than a couple hours, and there hadn’t been any new drop offs. Suddenly, a voice:

“WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB! EAT THAT!” followed by a blast. Rick? It couldn’t be. His mind must be playing tricks on him. Or worse, this could be just another part of the torture.

“Rick” killed the monster and ran around the corner, bumping right into Morty. “Morty? Wh-what are you doing here?” he asked.

“Oh don’t act so surprised. I know you’re just another monster.” Morty raised his gun, but despite himself, he hesitated.

“Says you, you’re probably the monster! Why the hell would Morty be here?” This image of Rick was pretty realistic. He looked human, not robotic at all, and he was clearly scuffed.

“Enough! I’m going to kill you.” Morty fired, and a ray blasted through Rick’s chest. Wow, this thing had blood? This prison did not half ass psychological torture.

The fake Rick coughed and sputtered as robotic needles stitched flesh back together from the inside. The real Rick had tech on every organ to make him essentially unkillable, and apparently this monster was the same. “Don’t… cross me, you piece of shit.”

“I’ll cross whoever I want! You- you think I'm going to give up?”

Just then, the Rick monster fired a ray gun at Morty. To Morty’s shock, the mortal wound began to heal itself in the same way the Rick’s had. He didn’t remember any loss of consciousness between the trial and being dropped into the maze, and why would they have put such modifications in a prisoner who was supposed to die? But to assume that Rick, the real Rick, had installed them made even less sense. Morty was always expendable, nothing more than a human shield.

Morty pushed the questions aside. He was not going to lose now. “Just because neither of us can die doesn’t mean I won’t try to kill you. How about I aim for where it really hurts?” Morty aimed for Rick’s skull.

The ray bounced off, but the impact knocked Rick into a wall. The Rick was shaken, but he stood up. “You really think I would leave my brain unprotected? Maybe you really are Morty, because I can’t think of anyone else who would be that stupid!”

“Of course I’m Morty! Who the hell are you?” Morty tackled Rick to the ground and grabbed his throat.

“Morty, don’t you get it? We’re both here. You- you gotta believe me. I’ve missed you so much. I let you through that portal because I knew the long way would be dangerous, and you- you deserved to go home. I may act above it all, and I am, but you’re my grandson, Morty. I didn’t want you to have to live the labyrinth life.”

Was Rick… crying? Damn, this was a shitty fake. “Y-you’re not fooling anyone, you know? The real Rick doesn’t care about anything or anybody. He had a coupon for a free replacement Morty from the Citadel of Ricks. I- I bet he’s escaped and gotten a new Morty, maybe even- maybe even a new dimension!” Or, Morty thought hopefully, maybe Rick was about to come rescue him and tell him what a piece of shit he was for ending up back in galactic prison.

Well, Morty was done waiting to be rescued. He let go of the Rick’s throat with one hand and grabbed his ray gun, shooting the impostor directly in the heart. The blast didn’t make it far, but Rick lost consciousness from the impact. Morty sat back, still holding the gun. Everything finally hit as Morty’s numbness dissipated. Morty never wanted to be a killer. He didn’t want to live “the labyrinth life.” All he’d ever wanted was to see cool shit in the multiverse and pretend that impressing his grandpa was an achievable goal. Part of him wished this monster Rick could kill him just so it would all be over.

As if on cue, the monster Rick woke up. Shit, now Morty looked vulnerable. Maybe he could think of a way to use that to his advantage if he mustered the ability to be heartless again.

“You alright, little buddy?” Rick asked, as if he wasn’t the one who had just been unconscious.

“What do you care?” Morty replied. “Either you’re a monster and you want to kill me, or you’re the real Rick and you’re waiting to laugh at me.”

“Okay, that’s pretty reasonable considering how I’ve presented myself for, uh… always. But what if it’s neither?” Rick looked at Morty gently - hadn’t this torture been cruel enough? - and waited for a reply. Morty just stared at him, daring this Rick to prove himself.

“What if, and I’m just spitballing here,” said RIck, “What if I’m your real grandpa and I’ve always cared about you? I’ve been thinking a lot over the past three months, and I think I leaned too heavily on the god complex. Just because I’m literally the smartest being in the universe doesn’t mean I have to be an asshole about it, right?”

Morty let out a snort of laughter despite himself, but he quickly redirected into a scowl.

“Yeah, I deserve that,” Rick continued. “You know, back in season 1- actually, I don’t know where the comic fits in the continuity, let alone the - alright, ignoring the fourth wall, one time I was kidnapped by another version of me who wanted to steal my memories because I was against the Citadel and because I was ‘the Rickest Rick.’ And while he was stealing my memories, they were playing on a screen he had. I saw you as a baby, Morty. He was playing my memories of you, and I actually teared up. I denied it, of course, but in that moment I was thinking about how I’d endangered you by bringing you on these crazy adventures and how all our fun might end in disaster. I don’t want that for you, Morty. That’s why I installed all that protective gear in you while you were sleeping. I never told you because I always had to keep up that god complex attitude. I felt like I’d be a better person without my attachments, and I thought that if anyone knew how I really felt, they’d just use it against us. Do you see what I’m saying, Morty?”

“That’s a good try at a sob story, Rick. I’m almost convinced.” Morty looked down at his hands. “But there’s absolutely nothing you could say to me that would convince me that the real you could be that vulnerable.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Rick said, and suddenly Morty heard a blast and everything went dark.

…

“Huh? Where am I? What did you-” Morty’s vision cleared as his consciousness came back. He seemed to be in his room. Was he dreaming? Dead?

Rick walked in. “If I was a monster, I wouldn’t have set the gun to stun.”

“Huh,” Morty considered, “I guess you’re right.” He paused. “Did you mean what you said back there? Do you really care?”

“Don’t talk so loud. This stays between us, alright?” Rick said in a mock-threatening tone.

Morty grinned. He got out of bed and hugged Rick. “I love you, Grandpa Rick.”

Rick returned the hug. “I love you too, Morty.”

Rick stepped out into the living room where Beth, Jerry, and Summer were sitting. “You heard nothing,” he announced.

“Okay, sure thing,” said Summer, not looking up from her phone.

“Is Morty okay?” asked Beth.

“He’s going to be fine. I want- I want to really drive the point home that you did not just overhear a tender moment of familial affection involving Rick Sanchez, smartest man in the universe.” Rick crossed his arms and glared at Jerry.

“Whatever you say, Rick,” said Jerry, clearly disappointed that Rick was back and taking charge again.

“Thanks for bringing him back, Dad,” Beth said. “We were so worried. And don’t worry, your secret is safe with us.”

“My secret is not safe with you,” Rick fumed, “because it’s not with you. You have no secret, capiche?”

“Grandpa, get off her case,” said Summer. “I’m sure you’re the same asshole you always were.”

“That’s right! Rick never learns a lesson!” Rick went out to the front door and seemed to shout at the universe in general. “Rick and Morty a thousand years, no emotional vulnerability! Okay maybe a little, sometimes, but only when lives are at stake! The word count on this thing got really out of hand, but you’re still listening! Fuck the fourth wall! Roll credits and theme music!”

[sdpafanblogofsupremefunk]

Season 1, Episode 1: A Different Place

Where better to begin talking about a show than the beginning? Like most shows, Sítio do Picapau Amarelo has a pilot episode.

...Okay, in this case, “pilot episode” is just a fancy way of saying “first episode”. Much like Rick & Morty and DT17, SDPA doesn’t really have a pilot episode that isn’t just the first episode (unless you count Doc and Mharti as R&M’s pilot, which I’d rather not), so to begin the series, we kinda have to jump right into the mess of things.

It’s like A Quiet Place, but not stupid.

As the episode begins, we are introduced to a two men on a horse-drawn cart. The man in the red box is a book salesman who’s a little down on his luck in terms of profits.

A little.

This guy isn’t really given a name, and I don’t want to call him “The Salesman” the whole time because that’s stupid. So I’m going to give him a name. Mr. Simmons will do nicely.

Anyways, Mr. Simmons falls out of the cart when it hits a patch in the road, and when he picks himself up, he sees a quaint little house on a farm, with an old woman knitting on the porch.

Here, we are introduced to the first of our main cast, Dona Benta, a kind elderly lady who owns this little patch of heaven known as the Yellow Woodpecker Farm. Yeah, didn’t take us long to get there, huh?

So Mr. Simmons sees this old woman in the middle of (what he believes to be) nowhere, and decides it’s the perfect opportunity to make a quick buck believing that:

Which, I dunno, man, she seems pretty comfortable just sitting in her rocking chair, knitting. Like, even as an outsider who doesn’t know a lick of what goes on in this farm, I’d say she’s content as she is, but anything to make some cold hard cash, I guess.

Also, I would not ever call this place a desert, even for the sake of exaggeration. There’s grass everywhere, bushes, trees, flowers, the works. If this where anything like a desert, I do not think this woman would be here, to put it simply. But, I digress. And I hydraulic press, but we won’t be seeing that.

So, Mrs. Benta goes inside to call for the kids, and here we meet 3 of our other actors:

Here, we see Pedrinho (or Little Pete, the boy in the blue overalls) and Narizinho (or Lúcia “Little Nose”, the girl in the red dress), cousins and Mrs. Benta’s grandchildren. They’re playing tag, I think, but they’re stopped in their tracks with their Grandma in the way, and-

Hang on, I feel like we’re forgetting something.

Oh, right. I almost forgot Emilia. She’s basically the reason I watch this show, no biggie.

Anyway, she’s in a race with the kids, when they’re blocked by Grandma. Emilia makes the smart move and cuts right under Mrs. Benta. It looks like this:

Another reason I like this show so much, it’s rife with smears, which I feel like any good cartoon should have. Like here, where Emilia friggin’ nyooms right under Mrs. Benta like a comet.

Emilia reaches the finish line at the bookshelf, where we see the Viscount of Sabugosa, a puppet made out of an ear of corn who’s very smart and polite. (His name is a pun, “sabugo” means corncob in Portuguese, and it’s a parody of the Count of Sabugosa, of which there were 9, the first being Vasco Fernandes César de Meneses in 1729- but everybody calls him Viscount and so will I because blah)

In this show, the Viscount is the actual size of an ear of corn, which makes sense, he is, after all, a puppet made out of one. I think it’s really funny that the cartoon is slightly more realistic than the live-action show it’s based on in this regard, because in the 2001 series, for whatever reason, the Viscount towers over everyone:

And he has a sick mustache.

Like, I don’t get it, out of all the characters, you made the guy made out of corn the tallest one in the cast? I get that the technology to make him actually small probably wasn’t all there yet, Grandpa in My Pocket was still 8 years off, but you really couldn’t find a guy that wasn’t the same height as Shaq?

Yeesh, only 2 minutes in and I’m getting sidetracked this often. Well, I guess it’s better than having nothing to talk about.

Anyway, Emilia wins the race, but the other two kids run into her, smooshing her against the bookshelf-

-and pwning her so hard she briefly grows fingers on her hand (and turning it into a left hand apparently, because the thumb is on the wrong side)

Mrs. Benta explains that Emilia and the other mystical beings must hide from the impending salesman.

Oh brother, I was wondering when we’d get to this guy. This is Marquis of Rabicó (Portuguese for Short-tail). Literally the first thing you read about him on the show’s Wikipedia is that he’s fat (which you think would be a given cuz he’s a pig), and his part of the Characters section isn’t much better, stating that he’s a “gluttonous, selfish, cowardly and lazy pig” and most of his episodes involve him getting himself and/or others into trouble by being a gluttonous, selfish, cowardly and lazy pig. He’s only ever onscreen to cause problems, either directly or by proxy. If I were to sum him up in one meme, it would be this:

Now, I don’t hate Rabicó, I’m actually quite indifferent towards him, but he does bring down a lot of the episodes that he’s a major part of. Thankfully, there aren’t too many episodes featuring him in the first 2 seasons, but from what I hear, Season 3 goes ham with that shit (pun intended) and it brings down the quality of the season as a whole, so it’s a good thing that’s as far off from now as it is. I want to enjoy the lack-of-pig while it lasts.

But hey, at least he doesn’t look like this:

Don’t do drugs, kids.

Rant over, Mrs. Benta explains that she wants things to look normal because the Yellow Woodpecker Farm is a very peculiar place, where all kinds of weird and wacky stuff goes on, and if word gets out about it, the place will be filled with tourists wanting to get a peek of the action.

Something that Mrs. Benta probably didn’t consider is that there’s a bigger threat to being exposed than just filthy tourism. That’s right, I’m talking about the GOVERNMENT.

I mean, think about it. How many movies have you seen where the government tries to hunt down an unnatural being? E.T., the Sonic Movie, a third one I can’t think of right now, etc. (Lilo & Stitch does not count) Now, I can’t speak for Brazil’s government compared to the U.S., but I know there’s gotta be a division dedicated to dealing with unnatural things that would no doubt arrest Emilia, Rabicó, Viscount, etc. and run experiments on them. Then again, maybe this cartoon takes place in a world where the government doesn’t even exist. I mean, we never really see any urban settings in the show (aside from a brief mention of “the city” in the finale), so for all I know, the world of Sítio do Picapau Amarelo is run by Vermin Supreme.

Real talk, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for not voting for this guy back in 2016.

Initially, Emilia won’t go into her box, but then she gives in and is dragged there by Aunt Nastácia, the housemaid of the farm with a knack for making dolls (so she’s essentially Emilia’s mom). She doesn’t really do much in this episode, but the Fat Bastard does even less, and I still mentioned him.

So Mrs. Benta lets Mr. Simmons into the house and he does this whole spiel about how great the books are, how they can take you to worlds you never imagined, fantasy and action, yadda yadda.

Meanwhile, the kids are off to the side and they’re all like “Well, we met the actual Hercules, get on our level scrub”. And of course, Emilia is watching with them, instead of in her box.

As Simmons keeps on rambling, Emilia is being a little peeping tom, not realizing that one turned head could lead to her being dissected like a high school frog.

Apparently, Emilia thinks she’s a regular Bart Simpson, with shit like spitballs and pulling out the man’s leg hairs. She’s really pushing her luck here, and for little reason. Sure, Simmons called the place boring, but that’s how it’s supposed to be to him.

Of course, Pedrinho and Narizinho are nice enough kids that they bail her out on this one and pretend it was them.

And before Simmons can ask what the hell is going on, Mrs. Benta gives him the money for the books and sends him out the door. And once he’s out...

I’ll give you a hint: it rhymes with go.

Of course, they’re not out of the woods yet, cuz Simmons is getting a little suspicious.

Busted. The truth is revealed, all laid out for Simmons to see. A talking rag-doll? Inconceivable! And yet, there it is.

Come on, Viscount. I would expect you of all people to uphold what Mrs. Benta said and stay hidden. You’re smart enough, you should already know what’s at stake, or at least that something is at stake. I mean, I understand that the cat is already out of the bag, but you’re not helping.

Also, you’re thumb is clipping into your bowtie, you should get that checked out.

Rabicó, I hope you get turned into salami. Not out of spite or anything, but just because I like salami.

Naturally, Simmons believes he’s struck gold and found the ultimate tourist trap. But when Emilia points out that if he tells anyone, he’ll sound like a crazy person-

-he straight up Villager Neutral B’s her,

hails a horse, and books it.

Wow, Viscount. Dick move mangling Mrs. Benta’s glasses like that. And all for an impromptu magnifying glass, which is pointless-

-because we can see the horse tracks perfectly fine without them.

(The Viscount isn’t this much of a jerk in the rest of the series, I swear.)

So, the gang follow the tracks until there are no more, which leads them to a corn store.

Wait, a... corn store? As in, a store that mainly, if not exclusively, sells maize and maize accessories? Compared to vegetables in general, that’s quite a niche market, I can’t possibly imagine finding a success in building an entire business around one type of vegetable. Corn is simply not as versatile as something like chocolate or cheese.

Oh no, wait, it’s just a bar. I guess this cartoon takes place in the middle of Prohibition 2: Return of Jafar, and the whole “corn store” thing is just a set up for a speakeasy. (I mean, you could also argue that it’s a diner, but I’mma go with bar because it’s funnier.)

And I’m guessing Simmons expects the place to put all of the meals on his tab, considering he’s going to get the money later with all the tourism. But then, why doesn’t he just pay with the money he got from selling Mrs. Benta those books? So he pulls Emilia out of his bag to show everyone that he has a talking doll and...

Hm. Probably should have put some air holes in that bag.

Anyway, the gang comes in, and Mrs. Benta asks for the doll back, with Narizinho hamming up her Oscar-worthy performance:

So everybody’s giving Mr. Simmons a mean glare:

Including this gentleman who looks like someone just insulted his favorite MHA character (it’s probably Tsuyu):

So Mr. Simmons desperately tries to convince everyone that the doll indeed does talk, and that she comes from a wacky place, but Aunt Nastácia intervenes and says that it’s just a normal doll.

She just straight up roasts Emilia, who (big surprise) does not take it very well. To the point that she is very visibly angry, which you think the barflies would notice.

I mean, look at that and tell me that you wouldn’t notice anything weird.

But anyways, they get the doll back and we get this cute group hug.

D’awww.

So they leave with Emilia-

as Mr. Simmons is beaten to death offscreen for stealing from a little girl.

As the gang walks home, Viscount bends Ms. Benta’s glasses back to normal. Took you long enough, ya jerk.

Not even close, my dear. This is only the beginning.

Well, that was a very good first episode. It introduces the world and many of the main characters very well. And while there were a few issues I had with it, they’re really just nitpicks that don’t detract from the episode as a whole. Overall, a good effort, 8/10.

So, yeah, that’s the first episode down. Join me next time when we watch episode 2, and meet a very vile villain.

Very vile indeed.

[elusive---ivory]

The Woman In Velvet pt 8

Aaaa, this took way too long, but here we are

PAIRING: Arthur Fleck x Oc

WARNING: Mentions of abuse, and self harm

Masterlist (masterlist isn't working rn, will try to update it later)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Taglist:

@princessgeekface @memory-mortis @gloomybih @mijachula (if you'd like to be on my Taglist message me or send me an ask 💗)

Sandy sat next to Arthur in the hospital room. His mother laid next to the two of them. Gently comforting Arthur, Sandy rubbed his back. His eyes stayed focused on his mother.

"She'll be fine, sweetheart. I'm gonna go get a coffee. Do you want one?" Sandy got up, kissing Arthur's forehead.

"Yeah," He whispered, gently.

Sandy walked down to the hospital's cafeteria, grabbing two black coffees.

"So in a world where everyone thinks they can do my job. Get a load of this guy, who thinks that if you just keep laughing, people will think you're funny." Murray Franklin spoke through the television screen. Sandy looked over at Arthur, who was holding onto his mother's hand.

Sandy never liked Murray Franklin, it always reminded her of her uncle's cigars. It made her shiver. She knew how much Murray meant to Arthur, even though she didn't care about the guy all that much, she loved seeing Arthur happy.

"You know, haha, I hated school, ha, when I was a kid. I, ha ha, h-hated school. My mother would say 'You should enjoy it, one day you'll have to work for a living.' No, I won't, ma. I'm gonna be a comedian."

Arthur's eyes were glued on the television screen. He turned over to Sandy, and grabbed her hand, pointing at the TV to prove it was him. She smiled, holding his hand.

"Heh, you should've listened to your mother." Murray said, as the audience roared with laughter. "Play another clip, Bobby. I love this guy."

Another clip of Arthur's stand up began to play.

"When I told people I was gonna be a comedian, everyone laughed at me. Well, no one's laughing now."

"You can say that again, pal." Murray commented.

Arthur's joy quickly became anger. He let out of Sandy's hand.

"Now, this is my personal favorite. Some girl runs up on stage, and kisses the guy. Makes me think she's an actress getting paid to do it."

It was Sandy running up onstage, kissing Arthur. There was a bunch of ooos and ahhs from the audience.

Sandy glared at the TV. "What an asshole." She mumbled, under her breath. Sandy looked over at Arthur.

Arthur didn't look at her. He had a strong grimace on his face.

"Are you real?" He asked. He turned around to Sandy. "Or are you just a 'paid actress'?" Arthur spat out the word 'actress.' Arthur's emerald eyes bored into Sandy head.

Sandy smiled gently at Arthur. "Darling, I'm as real as you are now. I'm a real life, breathing human being. I love you, Arthur." Sandy held Arthur's hand close to her chest.

Arthur felt frozen in place as he felt Sandy's heartbeat steady in his palm. He leaned in the crook of her neck, keeping his hand on her chest.

"Let's go, Artie." Sandy smiled, kissing his head.

"Ok." He whispered, softly.

Sandy led Arthur to his apartment. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you in your apartment? I'd be more than happy to." She asked, politely.

"I'll be ok." Arthur jiggled his keys opening his front door. Sandy turned away, walking towards the elevator.

"Hey, Sandy." Arthur called.

Sandy turned around. "Yeah." She called back.

"Could you stay?" Arthur asked, meekly.

She smiled. "Of, course."

Sandy sat comfortably on the couch with Arthur on her lap.

"Fuck Thomas Wayne and Fuck the system." An angry protester shouted on the television. It seemed like Thomas Wayne was all over the news, as well as the riots and the protesters.

Sandy wasn't paying attention. Her hands subconsciously ran through Arthur's hair.

"So, Wayne manor didn't go well?" She asked, slowly falling asleep.

"No, it didn't. Maybe tomorrow." Arthur mumbled against her thighs, watching closely to the television screen.

"Maybe." Sandy repeated. "Tomorrow's that rally. That sure sounds like fun. I never did like Thomas Wayne."

Arthur lifted his head up from her lap. "Why not?"

Sandy shrugged, not answering his question.

She looked up at the TV screen. "My uncle died today." Sandy said, aloud. Her face held no emotion.

Arthur looked up at her. His eyes filled up with remorse. "Oh. That must be hard." Arthur got up to her eye level.

Sandy started laughing hysterically. "Ha, you know what's funny, Art. He can't hurt me anymore. Just like Dennis. Those poor, poor, fucking bastards."

Arthur got off of Sandy's lap. He looked at her in shock. Her laughter was uncharacteristic.

"Why should we feel sorry? Because I'll tell you one thing, Art. I haven't felt a single bit of remorse since those fuckers croaked." Sandy's laughter subsided.

It clicked in Arthur. "Wow." Arthur's laughter was triggered from Sandy's.

"Laugh it up, baby. Life is a comedy. That's why people laugh, because laughter takes your breath away. Much like a kiss." Sandy picked up a cigarette that was lying on the floor.

Arthur continued his laughter. "Y-you're right, Sandy. Ha, ha, ha."

She smirked holding the cigarette in her mouth.

His laughter subsided. He looked up at Sandy with pain in his eyes. "You're just like me. I've never met someone like you. Someone that understands." Arthur looked down at Sandy's arm. He saw the burn in the center of her arm. "What happened there?" He pointed to it.

She lit the cigarette in her mouth and looked at him shrugging.

Arthur held Sandy's arm. "Please don't." He kissed Sandy's burn. "Please, dear."

Arthur's pitiful expression was too much for Sandy. She held him close and broke down crying. "I love you, Arthur."

He smiled returning the favor. "I love you too." He kissed her cheek gently.

Sandy laid on Arthur's chest, feeling his heartbeat. His heart made a soft beat lulling her too sleep.

The sun shined through the window, beaming on Sandy's forehead. Her nose twitched as she opened her eyes to her surroundings. She was laying in bed next to a sleeping Arthur. Sandy smiled at his sleeping figure, leaning over giving him a kiss on his forehead. Arthur's sleepy ocean green eyes slowly opened.

"Good morning." Sandy smiled, kissing his cheek.

"Hmmm." Arthur mumbled, pulling Sandy closer.

"Hey, are you heading to the rally tonight?" She fluffed his hair a little bit, trying to get his attention.

Arthur mumbled something that sounded like a yes.

Sandy smiled. She got off the bed. Arthur made a faint whine.

"What? I have to get my stuff from my apartment." She giggled. "I'm off from work, but I still gotta check my messages. I'll be back."

Arthur lifted his head, tilting it slightly at Sandy. "You promise?"

Sandy kissed his head. "I promise."

She walked out of the bedroom, giving Arthur a small glance.

Sandy walked up to her apartment, using the stairs. The elevator was getting fixed, so she couldn't use that. Once she entered her apartment, Sandy went to her kitchen. The rats had gotten into her fridge and chewed up her paper towels and all her remaining food. She sighed, rubbing her temples. Sandy tapped on the answering machine.

"You have (1) new message." The same monotonous voice said.

"Voicemail 1:

Sandy? Hi! It's your cousin, Deliah. I've sure you've heard about our dad. Destiny has been been living out in the country for a while, but she'll be home in time for the wake. Since, Daddy's funeral isn't until tomorrow, I wanted ask if we could hang. It hasn't been the same since you've moved to the bad part of Gotham. Not to mention with the riots going on, it'd be nice to catch up."

The message ended.

Sandy rolled her eyes. She picked up the phone and dialed some numbers.

"Sandy! Hi Sugar! How are you?" Deliah's Jersey accent called through the phone.

"I've been fine, Dee. How about you?" Sandy said, tired. She had played through the motions in her head.

Dee wasn't a sort of trustworthy person. She had a long history of drug abuse, and was a trust fund baby at it's finest.

"Oh, I've been better. Ya know, I'm heading to this bar, tonight, down by Wayne Hall. You should come." Dee said, excitedly through the phone.

"I don't know, Dee." Sandy sighed.

"Come on, Sandy. I know tensions are high right now, but you should really loosen up. It'll be great for ya. Who knows maybe we can find you a lucky guy?" Dee teased on the phone.

Sandy scoffed. "I think I'm all set."

"Sandy, please. I'm begging. It'll be fun. I promise." Dee whined.

"Ugh. Fine, okay. If you'll excuse me, I have to get going." Sandy groaned, rubbing her temples.

"Great! See ya at 6." Dee hung up the phone.

Sandy gently put the phone back on the kitchen counter. She had cleaned up her kitchen, and decided to head back downstairs again.

Arthur had already gotten up. He cleaned up around his apartment. He heard a familiar knock at the door. Arthur walked over and opened the door.

He smiled widely. "Hey, I was beginning to worry about you." Arthur said, half jokingly.

"Yeah, one of my cousins, Dee, called. She wants me to come with her to some bar." Sandy sighed, frustrated while sitting on the couch.

Arthur's eyebrows furrowed into a frown. "You're not going, are you?"

"I didn't say no." Sandy shrugged.

Arthur looked down, turning his back to Sandy. "Ok." He said, coolly.

She put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, don't worry, dear. It's near Wayne Hall. It will be lame." Her reassurance wasn't enough.

"Uh-huh." He answered back, sharply.

"Arthur, babe, please don't act like this. I know it's unexpected, but Dee kept pestering me, besides the funeral's tomorrow and I-"

Arthur cut Sandy off with a glare. He walked up to her and hugged her tightly.

"You are mine." He growled through his teeth.

Sandy's eyes widened. "Arthur I-"

Arthur cupped her face, and cut her off again with a kiss. Sandy kissed back, putting her hands around his neck. She back up into a wall. Arthur pulled away.

Sandy smirked. "Do you really think that would convince me not to go?"

Arthur looked down, backing away from Sandy. "Yeah." He smirked back. "Did it work?"

"Almost." Sandy giggled, kissing his forehead.

Arthur frowned, again.

Sandy gently pet Arthur's head. "Hey, I'll be back before the rally. I love you, Art." She kissed his forehead.

Arthur wanted to trust her. He felt happiness around her. He didn't want that happiness to go away.

"I love you too, Sandy. You're my everything." Arthur's eyes dilated.

[bonkers-4-hatter]

Barry Allen X !Fat Reader - A Flash Of Love Ch.1

-Please note that fat and chubby are two different things and are not one in the same. This will be centered around a fat reader, bigger than a chubby person as requested by the commissioner. If you see the word fat as offensive, sorry, bit I'm not changing it.-

---

“(Y/N), did you pack those documents for the ambassadors, we need them for that diplomatic meeting after the recon mission.” Grabbing said files from your top desk drawer, you shoved them into your briefcase along with the many other files and packets needed.

Shutting the briefcase, you strapped it on top of your suitcase to take onto the plane. “Just put it in Diana, do we need anything else?”

Your boss, Diana Prince walked out of her office, suitcase behind her and a smile on her face. Of course five months ago, you found out that your cheerful boss was in fact the badass superhero – Wonder Woman.

Needless to say, you fangirled a little bit when you found out. You could remember when Wonder Woman made her debut to the city and from that day on, you idolized her; she was your icon. You wanted to be like her in every aspect: strong, courageous, selfless and brave. Honestly, after finding out your boss was your iconic superhero – you still felt the same.

You still wanted to be just like her. How she can juggle so much and still be a top rate boss and superhero; it was truly amazing to you.

“No, I think that’s it, let’s head to the plane, Bruce should be there by now.” Smiling at her, you followed behind her.

Diana and you were on your way to a secret location to meet with some of the Justice League. Usually, she wouldn’t take you with her on these missions, but they needed all hands on deck and that included Bruce Wayne who to your surprise was Batman, who was bringing someone with him as well.

Getting into the car with Diana, it started down the street, your mind wondering once more. Your life felt like a dream at this point; working with superheroes and helping with recon missions and meeting all of these wonderful people that accept you the way you are.

Being fat in a life that’s filled with superheroes wasn’t the nightmare you thought it would be. Your mind first thought of how critical and judgmental they might be because of your body especially since you were going to be working closely with them, but it was the total opposite.

All of them had been so nice and welcoming and accepted you the way you are – rolls and all. 

Diana’s voice brought you out of your thoughts. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” She only laughed already knowing you were daydreaming away as you did sometimes. 

“I said thank you (Y/N), for everything that you’ve helped out with, with the league and all.” Her words made you swell with pride. Wonder Woman herself was thanking you for helping, you could die happy at this point. Giving her a wide smile you shook your head.

“It’s no problem at all Diana,” Leaning back, you relaxed in the seat. “I enjoy helping you all as much and in any way I can… what you guys do is amazing and to be connected to that, it’s truly an amazing opportunity and I’m grateful for it,” Raising your pointer finger toward Diana, you finished with, “I should be the one thanking you.”

“You’re too good to be true sometimes (Y/N).” You both shared a light laugh as the car came to a stop, indicating that you arrived at the plane.

The door opened, the sunlight pouring in a little as a deep voice said, “It’s always laughs with you two, I always wonder how you both can be so carefree.” Diana scoffed at the voice, a hand extending itself to help her out of the car; followed by yourself. Thanking none other than Bruce Wayne himself for helping you out, you decided to answer him.

“I guess we just tend to see the brighter side of things.” Grabbing your suitcase from the trunk, you pulled the handle up before sending Bruce a smile. 

“That, and we know how to actually smile, a little something you might want to work on.” Diana piped up, adding her own tidbit to the conversation. Her words made you giggle, especially at Bruce’s reaction which wasn’t really anything, it was neutral really, but it still brought amusement to you anyways. 

All three of you made your way to the plane – Bruce’s own private plane of course. Since it was a low-key mission and all, this was the easiest way to get from point A to point B. 

“So, where’s your new side kick?” Diana’s amusement was evident in her voice as your eyes scanned over the two, awaiting his answer. You were curious about this mystery person too. Bruce didn’t really say much about this new addition to the League and needless to say, your curiosity was getting the better of you. 

The Dark Knight sighed and rubbed his dark circled eyes, most likely from the lack of sleep. “He’s not my sidekick, but he’ll be a great addition with his powers.” Now, that piqued your interest. Your mind ran through many powers, wondering which one it could be. It was times like this that you wished you had some neat and mind blowing super power to help them out more besides providing paperwork and other minuscule assistants that was needed.

Climbing the stairs to the plane, Diana asked the burning question, “So, what exactly is their power?” Before Bruce could answer, a red blur startled the both of you as it zoomed from the cockpit of the plane, straight to the back. Blinking a few times, you wondered if you actually saw what you did, or if it was all just a trick played by your eyes. 

“What was-.” Bruce cut off Diana’s question with a bit of a cocky tone. “That,” He pointed to a boy now seated near the back of the plane, flipping through a comic book. “Is our new addition.” You could practically hear the smirk etched on Bruce’s face, but you were focused on the boy that he pointed out. He was pretty damn cute.

He hadn’t picked up on the audience in front of him, which gave you a little bit to admire him from afar. He was average height, even though he was sitting down, you could still tell. Your eyes moved up his frame, which was lithe in comparison to your soft one, he had a little bit of muscle to him, the way his biceps flexed each time he turned a page in his comic book was proof enough. Biting your lip, your gaze went up and past his cherry red lips, the adorable smile that played on them as his deep brown eyes scanned the comic he was immersed in and his shaggy dark hair, some of it tickling his forehead as he had his head bent.

“So, does this new addition have a name?” Your voice filtered through the small plane. His head shot up, comic closing as he did so. Before you could utter another word, a bright, red streak appeared and before you knew it, the mystery addition was in front of your face, a wide smile stretching across his face.

“You’re probably tired of the angst treatment from Batman, so I thought I’d introduce myself.” 

He held his hand out toward you. Grasping it, you gave it a hearty shake. “My name’s Barry. Barry Allen.” You hummed and smiled up at Barry.

“I’m (Y/N). Diana’s assistant.” 

“So, is red lightning your power, or…?” 

Before Barry could answer, Bruce cleared his throat as he ushered you both with his hands to sit down in the seats. “How about we get airborne before we start talking.” Barry cleared his throat and stepped to the side, gesturing you to walk ahead of him which you did. Going toward the back, to where Barry was originally sitting, you took a seat next to the window, by his seat, where the comic laid.

With everyone seated, the plane engine started up, and before you knew it, you were in the air, soaring above the clouds. 

“Anyways,” Barry started as you turned your attention to him. “It’s not lighting per se, well I mean, it’s the aftermath of my power and all, which is pretty cool,” You laughed at his ramblings as he tried to explain his powers. 

“I’m rambling again…” He muttered to himself before shaking his head and turning in his seat to look at you fully.

“What I’m trying to say is, my power is speed, like faster than the speed of light type of speed. I’m kind of like Sonic the Hedgehog on steroids you can say.” Nodding at his explanation, your laugh echoed off the walls of the plane, making you cover your mouth.

“Hey, don’t hide your laugh, it’s cute,” Removing your hand, you felt a flush rise up onto your chubby cheeks. “Though, I understand why you’re laughing. My power seems like something out of some video game, huh?” Shaking your head, you waved him off.

“Well, if something like pickle Rick is possible, I’m sure super speed is up there too.” Barry smiled and cocked an eyebrow.

“Rick and Morty fan?” Nodding, you leaned back into the comfy plane seat, lolling your head to the side so you could continue talking with Barry. “My friend got me into the show and after the first few episodes, well, let’s just say I spent my weekend binge watching until my eyes were sore.” 

Barry chuckled at your words, nodding along as if silently saying he did the same thing.

“So, (Y/N), what power do you have?” Your smile faltered as you sunk in your seat a bit. You started to twiddle your thumbs and such, a habit you picked up when you were nervous or didn’t really want to talk much, like now.

“I don’t have a power… I’m just normal, nothing special with super speed, strength or an unlimited amount of money to buy me super special gadgets and toys.” The last part made Barry smile, your humor was a breath of fresh air, especially with stoic, serious league members surrounding him.

“Eh, superpowers are overrated anyways, besides, being an assistant must be pretty awesome.” 

Scoffing, you nudged his shoulder a bit. “Oh yeah, making packets and copies of super important documents and treaties is so thrilling, but I think the most amazing part of it is booking hotel reservations and taking calls all day – nothing beats that.” The sarcasm that dripped from your voice was evident. 

“Well, that all sounds pretty important to me.” Smirking at his words, you looked out the window, nothing but clear blue skies were in your view. You could feel yourself dozing off as you leaned your head back against the headrest. You could feel your eyes start to droop as sleep was calling to you.

Closing your eyes, you heard Barry let out a low laugh, probably at something in his comic which brought a smile to your face. His laugh was nice, he seemed nice. Hopefully during this mission, you’ll be able to get to know this new addition better. Before sleep consumed you, you felt something warm and fuzzy being placed over you, the chill from the plane gone as a sleepy smile spread across your face.

[knybits]

A Murder of One

Chapter: 

5

Summary: 

Kanon is stuck in time while Akiko speeds through it almost inhumanely. Kanao and Akiko both perform in their own life changing test

Previous Chapter | Origin | Next Chapter

Akiko always remembers her patients. 

Undoubtedly, her first patients are Kanon and Haruki as well as Giyuu back in March. 

Then Nakaha at the Butterfly estate, then Umiko the next day. 

Her most difficult patient during the spring is a soldier with two broken ribs and their right ulna sticking out. 

Summer, Akiko remembers sweating as she patches up another soldier with head trauma. 

Fall’s most difficult case is a punctured lung. Akiko actually receives her first piece of advice from the doctor, and they had to work together for the case in order to save the soldier’s life. 

Winter is hard because Akiko loses her first life. 

The soldier has a burst aorta, and Akiko can’t save them in time even with three other doctors in the operating room with her. 

She has to work again the next day, fixing broken bones and creating antidotes for a few dying soldiers. Aoi tries to reassure her that she did her best, and that she’s still become a better doctor than eight months ago. 

“But I’m not a doctor,” Akiko states later on that day, staring at a pair of scissors in her hand. Aoi looks at her with furrowed brows, a bit mad at Akiko’s attitude. 

“Well you’ve seen enough to be one.” 

Akiko cuts an inch of her hair off that day. 

On the anniversary of the Kamado deaths, Akiko wears black again. 

She also visits Haruki, who still hasn’t woken up from his coma. 

“Anything today?” Akiko asks as she walks into another room of the Butterfly Estate. Kanon is sitting by Haruki’s side, unmoving and staring at his body without a will to live in her eyes. 

Kanon’s hands aren’t rough like they used to be, and it’s Akiko’s hands that are rough now. 

Kanon’s been left back in time, and Akiko’s time has sped up. 

On New Years, Akiko doesn’t have a single patient. She’s glad but she’s restless, waiting for Aoi to burst into her room to tell her that another soldier is bleeding out onto the operating table. 

Kanon leaves Haruki’s room for what feels like the first time, closing the kitchen off from everyone else to use. Aoi is beyond mad, but when Akiko rests a hand on her shoulder and shakes her head, Aoi decides to stay put in the living room. 

Everyone is sitting under the kotatsu, Shinobu asking Akiko about her studies while Sumi, Naho and Kiyo giggle and eat tangerines. Aoi listens to Shinobu and Akiko talk about patients, and Kanao doesn’t say a word as per usual (Shinobu told her to take a break from blowing into the gourd). 

“Dinner,” a stoic voice shakes the girls, and they see Kanon with bowls of toshi-koshi soba for the New Year. 

Shinobu smiles, standing up to help Kanon with the tray. When the bowls are passed around, Shinobu take Kanon’s hands into her own, moving delicately to make sure Kanon doesn’t crack. 

“How lovely! I suppose this allows you to be our chef now?” 

Kanon doesn’t say anything, glancing over to Akiko instead. Aquamarine meets gold, and Akiko finds herself nodding to Kanon. 

Almost as if to only mirror movement, Kanon nods too, and she’s ushered to sit by everyone under the kotatsu; all eight girls enjoying toshi-koshi soba, tangerines, and mochi as they listen to the temple bell ring all throughout the night. 

Spring comes and goes, and it’s been a full year. Akiko hasn’t once seen Giyuu come to visit the Butterfly estate, and Akiko asks Shinobu almost daily to see if she can get Giyuu to come. But Shinobu smiles and tells Akiko that Pillars are always busy. 

So Akiko resets dislocated joints, she stitches deep gashes, she cuts off arms and legs, she learns to make medicine and she learns how to stop an arterial bleed. 

She sleeps late at night after making her rounds on patients. She wakes up early to the cawing of Shinobu’s crow and Aoi stating the injuries of whoever has been lugged into the Butterfly Estate. 

Akiko’s hair is cut shorter and shorter, her limbs grow longer and her voice starts to feel like velvet. Her eyes remain the same color, yes, but they spark differently now. 

Shinobu can’t place a single emotion behind Akiko’s hues, and she wishes she has her blessed eyes. 

Because Akiko knows when Kanon is about to break next to her little brother, or when Aoi is having trouble with a patient, or when one of the three girls are too stressed for a situation, or when Shinobu is about to collapse with exhaustion. 

Haruki doesn’t stir and whenever Akiko checks on him, she knows that he won’t wake for a long time. Kanon stays by his side when she doesn’t cook, and looks the most tense as she watches him. So Akiko advises Kanon to just stay in the kitchen to keep her mind off her brother. 

“Why.” 

“Huh?” 

Akiko blinks owlishly at Kanon, heart beginning to hammer in the chest as Kanon’s dead eyes bore into her own. 

“Well, you’ll get better if you cook, okay?” 

“What kind of an idea is that?” 

“Don’t think too much of it!” Shinobu’s sickly sweet voice breaks the tension and Akiko jumps to find Shinobu seated right next to her. 

“Doctor’s orders!” 

Summer tumbles into fall, and Akiko’s hair is up to her shoulders now. She hasn’t cut it in a while, and it’s finally grown longer. She thumbs it, overlooking the garden as Kanao trains for the day. Aoi is hoisting newly washed sheets, and the three girls are chasing another butterfly. 

“Tomioka-san! How nice of you to visit!” 

Eyes wide, Akiko scrambles from the engawa as her body goes cold despite the overbearing heat. 

Footsteps thunder down the hallways and Akiko nearly falls over the hems of her kimono. A dead ocean meets dirtied topaz and the air is sucked out of the room. 

“My! You ran rather fast now didn’t you?” Shinobu laughs and soft footsteps come from behind Akiko. 

Giyuu turns his attention to whoever is behind Akiko instead before taking his shoes off and walking into the estate. It’s Kanon he walks up to, her hands holding a tray of tea and some wagashi. 

Akiko almost lets him brush past her, but her thought of mind snaps back into place and it’s not all white noise anymore. 

“A year and a half…” 

The footsteps stop. 

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” 

A crow caws and Akiko closes her eyes, turning her face to the floor as tears dribble out of her eyes. 

“...Most likely.” 

Akiko looks to see a crow perched on Shinobu’s arm, and she doesn’t leave her room for a week. 

Fall dances into winter and Akiko’s hair brushes her ears. It’s grown longer since she hacked at it back when the leaves started to color orange and red. Akiko relapsed in her room until Aoi dragged her out at the end of the week. 

Akiko’s hands are littered with small cuts now, but she’s finally picked her rhythm back up again and works tirelessly as ever. 

Demons that are stronger during the winter season begin to pop back up, and Akiko finds herself treating more frostbitten fingers. She has to treat a soldier of hypothermia, who also goes into cardiac arrest on the table. 

But that’s all said and done, and Akiko eats a bowl of ramen with Kanao under the kotatsu. No words are exchanged, as always, but Akiko sees that Kanao is itching to speak up. 

“You don’t need to flip a coin to talk to me, y’know,” Akiko says, blowing on her ramen before slurping it up. Kanao stares at Akiko before flipping a coin anyway, and it lands heads. 

Akiko raises a brow when Kanao opens her mouth, but even so she still seems to be struggling. So Akiko starts first, asking what Kanao flipped it for. 

“Uhm… If I should do what you said…” 

“And?” 

“I’ll… I’ll talk to you.” 

Akiko smiles before nodding her head, “Good.” 

Two years later and, finally, there’s progress between the girls. 

The snow outside is nearly melted away and Akiko finds herself sitting in front of Shinobu. 

Aoi called her in the middle of treating a bed ridden patient, telling her that Shinobu requested her, and Akiko had to clean her hands before rushing to Shinobu’s room.

The fish tank in the corner of the room catches Akiko’s attention, but there isn’t much to look at. 

“I’ll be observing you today!” Shinobu says lightly, and Akiko tilts her head in confusion. 

“Is this because Kanao left for Final Selection?” 

Akiko doesn’t get a real answer, only a close eyed smile, before Aoi bursts into the room. 

“There’s around 12 demon slayers in the garden right now! Kakushi just brought them in! Akiko, let’s go!” 

Akiko finds herself in the garden, pulling her white robe on as Sumi, Naho, and Kiyo run besides her. Aoi takes the liberty to start prepping as many rooms as possible, opening beds and gathering supplies. 

“Naho, call for four- no, six doctors from town. Run, send a crow, get a kakushi to do it, whatever you need to do. We need as many people to help, alright?” Akiko orders, and Naho breaks off from the group to call for Shinobu’s crow. 

“Sumi,” an idea strikes Akiko, “go grab the ribbons in my room. Four colors. Cut them at arm's length.” Sumi rushes off to fulfill her orders, and Akiko continues to run to the garden. 

Akiko doesn’t even bother slipping sandals on when she makes it to the garden, and there’s indeed 12 injured soldiers. Kakushi are panicking a bit, but Akiko points to one standing nearby to come and explain the situation. 

“A task force of 20 soldiers was sent to kill the new lower six demon. We gathered as many bodies as we could, but the other eight were clearly dead. Here are all the people we have left,” they explain, and Akiko glares. 

“Under whose jurisdiction were you allowed to announce a death?” She demands an answer, and other kakushi nearby back away in fear. 

“I-It’s just… When we checked, they weren’t breathing-” 

“Were their heads decapitated? Was their body set in rigor mortis? Dependent lividity? Was there intense bruising on the bottom of the body?” Akiko presses on, seething with anger and some of the kakushi leave, rushing away in the same direction. Akiko assumes it’s where the attack took place. 

“All bodies must be brought here, and that’s final from this day forth,” her voice calls the attention of all the kakushi, and she’s mildly surprised when they bow their heads to her, chanting, “Yes ma'am!” 

Akiko nods to herself before overlooking the mess of soldiers, Sumi returning to her side with a bunch of ribbons in her hand. With quick thanks, Akiko takes the ribbons before placing her hands on her hips, yelling over all other noise. 

“Demon slayers that hear my voice, walk to me!” 

A good half are able to make their way to her, and Akiko nods her head before looking at Sumi and Kiyo and directing them to deal with the seven slayers. They’re the least injured, so the small girls can handle their injuries with next to no problem at all, but they’re given white ribbons to tag the demon slayers with. 

Aoi comes running up to Akiko and Akiko points out the soldiers that were able to raise their heads but were unable to move. 

“Aoi, gather the help of some kakushi and get the ones that are bleeding profusely into a room. Treat their main complaint, tie these blue ribbons on them, and above all don’t do harm,” Aoi nods with her orders before rushing to the four soldiers clutching their injuries. 

Akiko herself runs to the last soldier on the floor, who doesn’t move and continues to bleed from her head. Her chest barely rises and Akiko works to remove her clothes. There’s another bleed from her stomach and Akiko quickly pats the girl down, noting four broken ribs and a punctured lung as well as a head injury. 

She ties a red ribbon onto the girl’s leg, then commands two kakushi to transport the girl to an open room and to await further orders. Akiko moves to help Aoi to pat down the last soldier, only finding a broken leg and intense bleeding from his back. 

The doctors rush in, and Akiko breathes a sigh of relief before sending a few off to rooms where badly injured soldiers remain. The last remaining doctor awaits orders, and Akiko leads him back to the garden. 

“More patients are on their way. It’s your job to tag them either white, blue or red. White means minor injuries, then can comprehend questions and can move. Blue, they can’t move but they’re conscious. Red, the worst case. Black if they’re dead.” 

The doctor is quick to understand that he’s allowed to announce time of death, and Akiko rushes back into the estate to begin her job. She sees Shinobu from the corner of her eye, unmoving and observing Akiko’s work like she said she would. 

Akiko is in hell.  

The girl battles between life and death with Akiko, constantly going into cardiac arrest and requiring Akiko to drain her lungs of blood before fixing the punctured lung and broken ribs. She works for hours and hours, a kakushi nearby to help though not too knowledgeable with medicine. 

Akiko makes do. 

A few times, either Aoi or Kiyo or one of the doctors would slip into the room, announcing a death or the stabilization of a soldier. 

Akiko is glad to hear that there’s far more life saving than life losing. 

Nine hours later and Akiko has stabilized the girl. 

She instructs the kakushi to transport her body to a bed in the medical ward before yelling for someone to clean up the mess. 

Then, she walks into another operating room to take over, asking for the status of the patient before telling the doctor that she can take over. 

Four hours later and she’s onto her next patient, a soldier brought in that was assumed dead back at the attack site. 

Time of death, 3:27 AM. 

The next soldier is lucky enough to be alive, and Akiko operates for 11 hours with another doctor. 

Akiko gives more orders and Sumi finds herself rushing to town for more bandages and gauze. Aoi is told to mix wisteria essence with water and ginger to give to patient seven. A cardio thoracic surgeon is called in and both Kiyo and Naho are ordered to help the doctor in room five. 

Two soldiers are brought in. 

Time of death, 2:51 PM.

Akiko works on the next patient for four hours before announcing time of death, 7:43 PM. 

By the end of the four days of hell, Akiko has six deaths on her hands, two that need to be closely monitored, and the rest sleeping on the beds in the medical wards.

 Akiko falls asleep by the bedside of a random soldier, her mind and body hitting the brakes and exhaustion falling onto her like a bear.

And still, she smiles, because she dealt no harm. 

its been 2 weeks since i started murder of one!! fat thank you to every thats hanging in and continuing to read this :,,) 

timeline wise, tanjirou has completed his own training (like akiko) and theyre both testing. i lowkey mention this by mentioning kanao’s own final selection taking and i hope yall caught onto that :,,) 

I PROMISE TANJIROU WILL BE PUT IN AND THINGS WILL HAPPEN 

and when they do,,,, :)))) 

[ramheavenandhell]

The Mortys and their Stories – Chapter 1: Morticia

AN: Side stories to "The Lines Between Ricks And Mortys". Please read the second chapter of "The Lines Between Ricks and Mortys" first before reading this to avoid spoilers! Anyways, this little fanfic will tell the background stories of the Mortys that Rick C-137 catches in "The Lines Between Ricks and Mortys" and will be updated alongside it. That way, it won't take up any space in the main story and unnecessarily bore any readers that don't care so much about their backgrounds. Warnings: abuse (emotionally and physically), angst/hurt/comfort

The Mortys and their Stories – Chapter 1: Morticia

When her grandfather had moved in with them, Morticia didn't know what to think of him.

Her mother was so happy to have her father back in her life again after he had left her when she was still just a child. So, Morticia guessed that if her mother was happy that she should be happy, too.

Yet, she still found it weird that he just suddenly appeared out of nowhere after so many years of absence and not even contacting her once in all the time.

However odd that was though, Morticia also couldn't help but find her grandfather interesting.

He's was quite eccentric, but not only that. He was a scientist and not the normal kind, but like a mad genius kind of one.

Not soon after he had moved in with them, he had claimed the garage as his workshop and soon there were shelves filled with the weirdest inventions.

Morticia would lie if she said that all the stuff that he worked on didn't pique her interest.

So, curious as she was, she wanted to get to know her grandfather a bit more.

She just wished that he would just let her.

Morticia didn't know why, but Rick seemed to dislike her.

Whenever she would enter the garage, he would try to kick her out again and the few times when he didn't, he just acted as if she wasn't there. When she would ask about any of his inventions, he would ignore her and he also refused to ever take her with him on one of his adventures to alien planets.

For a while, Morticia wondered if it was because she was a girl, but seeing as her grandfather treated her big sister, Summer, completely different and even allowed her to travel with him on a few occasions, it couldn't be her gender.

She really wondered why Rick disliked her this much since she could not recall ever having done something that could have offended him.

In fact, he had acted coldly towards her from the moment that he had laid his eyes on her.

She wondered so much about it that she even asked her mother why Rick was like that, but Beth only answered "Your grandpa is a good man, so, it must be something that you are doing."

Morticia honestly had no idea what it was that she was doing wrong. After thinking long and hard about it and still not reaching a conclusion, she decided in the end to just ask Rick what the problem was.

With fluttering nerves, she dared to go into the garage where her grandfather was sitting like usual on his workbench and working on some contraption.

Morticia briefly cleared her throat to make her presence known, but Rick kept working as if he didn't know that she was there.

Trying to ignore the sting from being ignored and focusing on the task at hand, she began to speak up.

"Rick? Why do you not like me? What's the problem? Is it—am I doing something wrong?"

Her grandfather suddenly stopped on what he was working and actually turned around to look at his granddaughter.

"You wanna know what's wrong?! Y-you wanna know what the problem is?! You are the problem, Morticia! You not being a Morty is the problem!" he yelled harshly at her. "It's really no surprise that the Rick of this dimension killed himself. I'm really tempted, too. Those damn burickrats at the Citadel completely screwed me over with this one."

"W-what? I don't understand…" Morticia replied faintly.

The girl was confused. What did her grandpa mean that she was not a Morty? And the Rick of this dimension killed himself? She didn't get it.

Rick took a sigh before he went to explain "There are infinite dimensions with infinite possibilities, which means that in a lot of dimensions a Rick exists. And most of these Ricks have a Morty. I used to have one, too before he got killed. That wasn't my fault though. If he had listened to me that wouldn't have happened." Rick was gesturing wildly with his hands, getting very defensive all of a sudden.

"Anyways-" he continued. "-I left and went to the Council of Ricks and applied to get myself a new Morty and they relocated me here. But look what I got. Instead of a Morty I got you!"

With an accusing finger, he pointed at Morticia as if it were her fault somehow.

The girl felt at a complete loss, trying really hard to understand what her grandfather was telling her.

"I-I mean, it's not like we Ricks like having Mortys hanging around us. We just need a Morty so that their idiot-brainwaves are camouflaging our genius waves! And while your brainwaves might work like that, too, there's no way that I'm going to take YOU with me on my adventures! I'd rather risk my life and go without camouflage."

'B-but why?' Morticia wanted to ask.

She felt like none of what Rick had said was an explanation as to why he didn't want her around.

He only said just because she wasn't a "Morty". So does that mean that the problem was because she was born as a girl instead of a boy?

Was that it?

Before she could even demand a proper answer from him, Rick turned back to his project at the workbench and dismissed her with "And now get out of my garage!"

It was obvious that he would just ignore her now no matter what she did or asked, so Morticia gave up and left the garage.

Mortys. Morticia couldn't help but wonder about it. In most other dimensions, her alternate selves were boys that were called Morty, huh? Out of curiosity, she went to her mother and asked her if she had been a boy, what her parents would have named her. "It's funny that you ask because we were actually expecting a boy and had the name Mortimer already. It was quite a surprise that you turned out to be a girl though, so we named you Morticia instead. Not that your dad or I minded it. I like having two girls." Beth answered with a smile. So, Mortimer Smith. That is the one that she should have been but did not became. And that was the reason why her grandfather hated her. Just having the answer though wasn't satisfying enough for her. There must be something that she could do to fix that, right? Then again, it wasn't like she could just become a Morty. Or could she? Morticia felt like she had a sudden revelation. If she could pull off her plan, this whole mess would be fixed and her grandfather could finally like her and take her with him on adventures. Naturally, there was no way that she could turn herself into a boy – not without surgery anyways and she would never find a doctor who would operate on the gender of a 14 year-old girl, never mind the costs of that surgery – but she could at least try to come as close to it as possible.

Morticia set her plan in motion, starting right on the next Saturday early in the morning. She skipped breakfast in favor of leaving the house to go to a hair salon. The stylist looked at her in slight disbelieve as she told her what kind of cut she wanted, but did it nonetheless. She didn't even bat an eyelash as locks upon locks of long brown hair fell all around her to the floor. After everything was done, she looked into the mirror, looked at the stranger that stared back at her. She cast a look at the photo that she had used as reference – a picture that she had found in Rick's room of what she assumed had been his original Morty – and back in the mirror, checking that it indeed looked like it was supposed to. She was satisfied. After that, she walked into a drug store and bought a few bandages. There weren't many at home and Rick was practically hogging them with how often he actually got injured on his adventure – even if he did try to hide it from the rest of the family. Afterwards she returned home and dashed quickly in her room before anyone could see her. Once in her room, she stripped of her shirt and bra and pulled the bandages from the small shopping bag. With a little struggle, she carefully started to wrap the bandages around her chest in an effort to bind it off. It was uncomfortable and probably a tad bit too tightly wrapped, but after she was done and put her t-shirt back on, looking in the mirror, she was satisfied with her appearance. Now she looked exactly like a Morty. Maybe Rick would be able to accept her better like this. Filled with hope and a tight lump of nervousness in her stomach, she slowly made her way to the garage. She knocked briefly and took the grunt that answered her as an invitation to enter the garage. "What?" Rick asked rudely without looking up. He was hunched over his workbench and tinkering on one of his devices again. Morticia was a bit disappointed that he wasn't looking at her. "Hey, Rick. I just wanted to ask if you need h-help or something…" she nervously trailed off. The longer that she stood in the garage being ignored by her grandfather, the more she felt her initial courage waning. "I don't need any help from a girl." Her grandfather only waved her off, still not looking up from the machinery that he was tinkering with. Tensely Morticia continued to stand in the garage, looking at her grandfather's back, not willing to just back out even if she was clearly not welcome here. As Rick started to curse and fumble wildly for a wrench on his workbench, it fell with a loud clanking-sound to the ground. In a flash, Morticia ran over and picked it up, handing the tool back to Rick. "Thanks…" He grumbled almost inaudibly. That was the moment when he finally looked at her and his eyes widened. Morticia hoped that it was a good sign, but his following words disproved it. "What the fuck?! What the hell did you do?!" "I uh… I just…" she wasn't sure what to answer, not having thought about what to tell him in advance when he would question her. "I just wanted to try out a new look… I guess?" Rick's eyes instantly narrowed and the look of shock on his face was replaced by one of pure rage. Before the girl knew what happened to hear, a loud slap resounded in the garage and she found herself sitting on the concrete floor with a stinging cheek. Morticia looked up at her grandfather with big, wet eyes and one of her hands was slowly reaching up to place itself on the quickly reddening and swelling cheek. Rick's hand was still lifted in the air as he looked darkly down at her. "Dammit, Morticia! Stop trying to be something that you are not!" he yelled. Tears finally spilled as the girl looked in disbelieve at her grandfather. "B-but I-" she tried to argue back but was cut off. "No! You just never listen to me, do you?!" Rick slapped her hard again, causing her to land flat and face down on the floor. He yanked her head up again by gripping tightly into her short curls and moved her so that her ear was directly against his mouth. "You will never be my Morty! You're never going to be what I want!!" spittle was flying from his mouth and splattering her face. Then he threw her back on the ground again before he sat down in his swivel chair. "And now get out of here! You know that I don't want you in here." Still in pain and with a swollen face, she slinked out of the garage. As soon as the door was closed behind her and she leaned against it, tears trailing down her red cheeks, she could hear her grandfather cursing loudly. "Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck!!!" There was a loud crash as if he had swiped everything from his workbench on the ground in anger. "Why does she have to do this to me?!" Morticia didn't understand. What had she done? Just what was it that she was doing wrong…?

And then Rick was just gone. He had been up and left in his trashy space ship, going on one of his crazy adventures without saying a word. No one worried about it. After all, it wasn't all that unusual that he was sometimes gone for several weeks without a sign of him that he was still alive and kicking. However, Morticia had a feeling. A feeling that something bad had happened to her grandfather. She was sure that he wasn't going to return, but she couldn't voice her thoughts aloud. It would break her mother's heart if she did, the woman becoming quickly a nervous wreck with each passing day while trying to convince herself that her father hadn't abandoned her again and would surely come back. Days continued to pass. Then weeks. Eventually they turned into months and still no sign of Rick. Beth had a breakdown by now thinking for sure that he left her for good. Morticia wanted to comfort her, telling her that it surely wasn't her mother's fault that he didn't come back, but she just couldn't find the right words. A little part inside her was blaming herself – thinking that she was the reason why he didn't return. One day however, when Morticia was lingering around in the garage as she used to do every so often after school, a green, swirling portal suddenly opened up. Her hair had already grown a considerable amount back by now and she wore her red hairband again. Rick stepped through the portal and Morticia looked with big eyes at him. Something was off… "Oh. H-hey there, Morti." Rick greeted her with a twitching smile as he spotted the girl, trying to hide a look of surprise. She immediately knew what was off. "You-you're not my Rick." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Rick smiled apologetically at her…

It seemed that aside from Morticia no one noticed that this Rick wasn't the Rick that belonged to this dimension – not that the one that had been here before had really belonged here either. Summer seemed to have noticed that he was different and probably figured it out but didn't say anything. Beth was overjoyed to have her father back, her mental state stabilizing enough that she didn't need to drown her worry and self-hatred in red wine anymore – she just drank as much as was considered normal for an alcoholic like her. Everything seemed to be back to normal even though the Rick that was now here was a replacement. However, even if he was a different Rick, it didn't mean that it made things worse. "Hey, Morti. Wanna go on an adventure together? You know on planet Glurbah in the Algamflorx Galaxy are plants that only grow every 500 years and they're in bloom right now. Do you have any idea how much money we gonna make when we harvest and sell these babies? It's gonna be great!" "Huh?" she looked at her grandfather in surprise. "Are-are you really sure that you want to take me with you?" Rick looked at her surprised. "Of course! It wouldn't be a classical Rick and Morty adventure without you." "But I'm not a Morty. I'm only a Morticia…" she mumbled and walked off, leaving her grandfather standing in the garage, stunned.

It was just another normal morning in the Smith household. Beth was serving breakfast as the family members, one after the other, trickled into the room to take a seat at the table. Rick was the last one to walk into the room. "Uh…Dad?" Beth carefully asked as she looked at him. "Hmm? What is it, sweetie?" he casually asked back. "Um…" she fumbled how to properly word her question. "Why do you suddenly have boobs, Dad?" The question drew the attention of the other family members immediately to Rick. "What the heck, Grandpa Rick?!" Summer shouted as she almost dropped her phone. Moriticia also stared at him with wide eyes and at a loss for words. Her facial expression was matching the one that was on her dad's face. "Hey, you have boobs, too. Why can't I have them? What's the-what's the problem with that?" Rick commented as if it was no big deal. "Well…" Beth wanted to start but then decided to just dismiss it. "…I guess you're right. Please dig in before the pancakes get cold." Everyone quickly overcame their shock at Rick's new appearance and continued their breakfast as if everything was normal. Everyone, but Morticia. She still stared at her grandfather with a gaping mouth, taking in his transformation. He still wore his off-white lab coat and a blue sweater, but underneath it were two round, bouncy spheres that pressed against the cloth noticeably enough. His boobs were huge – they were at least a double D size – and Morticia couldn't help but think that he completely overdid it. She didn't dare to say it aloud though. However, as he turned around to her and winked with a friendly smile, it finally dawned on Morticia why Rick had done such a ridiculous thing. It was because he cared about her – unless her last Rick – and wanted to show her that she didn't need to be ashamed of her gender. He would be supporting her whether she was a Morty or a Morticia. She realized all that even before Rick confirmed it for her verbally later in the garage. In that moment, she made a vow to herself. Morticia vowed that she would try everything in her might to never disappoint her grandfather.

AN: So, this was Morticia's background story. I hope that her personality and the reason why she's so antagonizing to / competing with her male counterpart in "The Lines Between Ricks And Mortys" as well as why she's pushing herself so hard for Rick, has become more understandable with this. Of course, how she ended up in the wild and what had happened to her last Rick is still a mystery…

Part 12 of Entricked Fates Part 1 of Entricked Fates: Gotta Catch Me Some Morty

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Part 2 of Entricked Fates: Mortyfied and Rickfused

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Part 3 of Entricked Fates: Ricking the Routine

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Part 4 of Entricked Fates: Ricks will always be Ricks

oneshot

Part 5 of Entricked Fates: The Morty-Lover

oneshot

Part 6 of Entricked Fates: Second Chances AKA The Rick One For Me

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Part 7 of Entricked Fates: Rickvestigating the Morty Disappearances

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Part 8 of Entricked Fates: When the Morty’s away, the Rick will play

oneshot

Part 9 of Entricked Fates: It’s Not His Ricking Fault!

oneshot

Part 10 of Entricked Fates: I Ricking Hate My Life!

oneshot

Part 11 of Entricked Fates: The Lines Between Ricks and Mortys

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

[sunevial]

The Strings that Bind Us Together: A Moment’s Reprieve

Introducing something that’s been in the works for awhile: a sequel to the Followers (aka, the fanfic I’ve written based on @internetremix‘s Discord Murder Party games, master post here!)! This series is a little more slice of life than the previous one...at least for the moment anyways :3 Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!

“Are you absolutely sure the Captain didn’t just kill him and dump his body here for us to have a little fun with? I mean, he hasn’t moved since she dropped him off, and that was almost ten hours ago.” Cheerful, the excitement in her voice almost making the scene seem normal. A small slap echoed through his ear drums, one that he felt he should be able to name but could not conjure up through the fog.

“No no no no no, he’s still breathing. l checked a couple of minutes ago and I’m pretty sure he’s not completely dead. Then again, I’m not a doctor. I unalive things not…re-alive things.” Familiar, the voice of the woman with round glasses and chestnut hair he so quickly bought a ticket for. There was a small crack: the settling of…wooden furniture?

“The kid’s been through literal hell and back, let him rest a little. He’s just sleeping off the transformation.” Relaxed, yet powerful, belonging to a man who knew how to command without using force. A cough, some light shuffling of clothes against bodies, the crunch of teeth. Impossible to discern just how many people were there, but he could guess it was more than three.

“Oh no, he’s been awake for the past, oh, five minutes just listening to us talk. I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t want to be sprawled out on the couch half unconscious, but the magic She uses makes muscles…well, you know, experience rigor mortis. So my guess is that he literally cannot move.” Inquisitive, his words intelligent and terrifyingly precise. A few sharp clanks and rattles bounced around his skull, easily identifiable as two glasses clinking off of each other.

“Rigor mortis, huh? Would’ve been nice to know a few hours ago, but hey, better late than never. But that’s a pretty easy fix.” Simultaneously sarcastic and sincere, as if two identities were at war in her words. There was a creek as something scraped against the floorboards, followed by muffled footsteps and some indiscernible chatter.

Trying to sense what was going on through the noise, a shadow fell over his already darkened vision. He felt a warm hand tilt his head back, the clanging of metal bracelets against one another. Something cold pressed up against his lips and he nearly gagged as something bitter ran across his tongue and down his throat. A weight he had forgotten was there lifted from his chest, cold air rushing into his lungs that could now fully expand. His whole body shuddered. Legs were burning in the pits of hell, arms were being used as a pincushion, head was being hit over and over again by a mallet; he tried to scream but his vocal cords didn’t seem to want to work. But he could move, if you could call violently thrashing in agony movement.

Through the unbearable haze, he just made out a single drop of something pleasantly sweet touch the tip of his tongue. Just as quickly as he had been engulfed in an unending sea of pain, it vanished as if it had never existed at all, his limbs crashing against something soft and velvety. He groaned, turning on his side and fluttering open eyelids with more force than was probably healthy. All that greeted him was a sea of blurred probably humanoid figures.

“Oh right, you probably need these.” A familiar thin piece of wire touched his left hand. He instinctively grabbed them and put the thin frames over his eyes, blinking for a few seconds as everything came into focus. A young woman stood over him with a curious expression dancing in her eyes, her bobbed hair casting an ominous shadow around her cheeks. She smiled warmly. “So, how are you feeling?”

“Well, I’d say like a herd of elephants just flattened me, but that would imply something ran me over. So…I’ll go with I feel like gravity just enacted a personal vendetta against me,” he mumbled, slowly sitting up and holding his head. What…happened just then? There was the soul, then he gave Her his name, and then she started drawing something with string and then…nothing…nothing except darkness, bloodlust, and screams that may or may not have been his as he was consumed by his new name. No longer…well it didn’t matter anymore did it? He was the Young Priest now. And these…these people in the room were his new colleagues. His stomach turned just thinking about it and he sank back down into the cushions.

“Careful there, you were just loaded with enough magic to kill a small bear,” the young woman said, pulling out a crocheted blanket from a nearby basket and draping it over his shoulders. “But hey, you’re conscious and not six feet under, so you must’ve passed the final test with flying colors.”

“I’m tempted to debate you on the conscious part,” he mumbled, spotting four other people in the background. They were sitting at a table set with glasses of colored liquids and small piles of cards, all looking at him with varying degrees of attention and curiosity. He recognized the woman dressed in long flowing clothing and peering at him through spectacles and eyes closed to the world: Old Priestess, oldest of the Followers and the only being in the universe who could actually be considered the Captain’s friend.

“It’s about time you got up, sleepy head,” she said with a large smile. “You’re missing all the fun. And me winning. That’s very important.”

“It’s certainly been one of the better games we’ve had in the past two centuries,” the young man at the head of the table said, shuffling a deck of cards in his hands while orange and green tokens lazily floated around his stark white hair. “Especially because you’re not cheating for once.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I always win fair and square,” Old Priestess said, sipping a steaming mug of what was presumably tea.

“Oh yes, and that five ace play you’re so well known for is completely legal,” he replied with a bemused smirk, dealing out a small stack of cards to only five of the six seats at the table. With a snap of his fingers and a casual hand gesture, the tokens darted away from their suspension and settled in neat little piles next to the glasses, resting with a soft clatter against the wood.

“Are you all…playing poker?” Young Priest asked, stumbling over his words a little. He involuntarily shivered, his skin trying to decide whether he was stuck in the harshest of midwinter blizzards or the height of summer in the driest of deserts.

“Well duh, it’s game night,” a woman said with a snort, downing a large glass of something that reeked so strongly of moonshine that it assailed his nostrils from across the room. She was well muscled, sporting a red tattoo on her exposed arm and eyes that were pitch black where the whites should have been. With a shrug, she drew an arrow from the quiver at her side and pointed it between the dealer and the Old Priestess. “And we’ve already ran as many Uno games as we can before his future seeing funny business makes the games predictable and her illusion mess making makes winning pretty much impossible.”

“And so you immediately switch into poker, shunt me away into the role of the dealer, and never let me play my own hand,” the young man continued with a laugh, spinning a token on his finger. “I simply cannot understand why.”

“I seem to recall a several century winning streak that ended with swords clashing across the common room of a tavern, several choice words aimed at your honor and the honor of whatever creature thought you into this state of being, and the Captain explicitly banning you from ever betting with actual currency for the rest of your unnatural existence,” the last man replied, stretching out large raven wings that seemingly blended into the shadows behind his chair. His hair was swept back out of his face, long as his beard was short.

“Oh, and don’t forget you got bashed over the head with a table leg,” the muscled woman pointed out.

“And burned on your leg with the fire poker,” the woman with bobbed hair piped up.

“That too,” the winged man agreed. He shot a glance over towards where Young Priest was sitting, giving him about the same amount of attention as he was the cards on the table. A light smirk crossed his face, and he turned back to the others gathered around the table. “But if it’s any consolation, there is no mortal or immortal --living, dead, or otherwise-- who can run a table better than you can.”

“And to that, I must agree as well,” the dealer replied. “It’s…well, not exactly fun being stuck as the dealer for all of eternity, but I enjoy watching from the sidelines. It’s fascinating to watch people play card games. Really shows someone’s character…if you know what to look for.”

“Boys, girls, that’s enough chit chat, our newest colleague doesn't want to hear us old farts talking about all that boring stuff that happened the past,” Old Priestess said, picking up her hand and thumbing through the cards. She smiled wickedly and waved him towards the table. “Come on, don’t be shy. Pull up a seat.”

“I…well,” he stammered, fidgeting a little in his seat. “I assumed that I’d be here to, you know…train or be taught magic or…well, not playing cards, I suppose.”

The Old Priestess snickered, the sound dancing out of her mouth like the yelp of a young fox. “Sweetie, we have all the time in the world here.  And we’re all tired out from running across the planet. What’s a game or two or ten?”

Before he could protest, or confess that he wasn’t sure he could physically pull up a seat, the young woman pulled up on his arm and yanked him to his feet with about as much force as someone that small could muster. He shouted a little as he was forced upright. His legs might as well have been made of jelly on a hot summer’s day, but they kept him standing. With shaky steps, and a great deal of help from the young woman, he crossed the room and just about flopped into the wooden chair.

“Hm…unstable leg muscles…didn’t use enough powered newt,” she muttered as she took the seat next to him and picked up the cards. “Sorry about that. But I’m pretty sure you’ll be back to normal in about, oh, an hour or so.”

“Ah, it’s quite alright,” Young Priest said with as much confidence and politeness as he possibly could. “I should be the one thanking you for the potion.” He paused for a second, trying to remember everything he had learned from the years of searching and the old tales whispered in the halls of old wives and suspicious sailors. All of the Followers were fairly unique in talent, so it wasn’t long before he stumbled on an old tale of the greatest potions master in the known realms. “I’m…guessing you’re the Witch?”

“What gave it away?” she giggled, taking a look at her cards and tossing two orange chips into the center. “The potions or the recipe ingredients talk?”

He turned to the young man, remembering the mentionings of him being able to see into the future and a strict ban on card playing games. Combine that with the casual magic he possessed and only one name really came to mind, the name of the chaos entity who could manipulate time and space like a potter shapes clay. “And…I’m betting you’re the Advisor…” he slowly continued.

“Precisely correct,” the young man replied, leaning back in his chair and sipping from a glass of water.

It wasn’t hard to discern the identity of the remaining woman, though the stories of her feats and power were less known. That wasn’t exactly the fault of mortals though, considering so few had met her and lived to tell the tale of the wild woman who spoke with animals and who’s art laid in killing. “Then you must be the Huntress,” he said, nodding toward the woman still brandishing the arrow.

“Oh no, I’m definitely the Witch,” she said with an eye roll and a cursory glance to the cards. She swiped them up in one fell swoop, stared at them for a second, then tossed in three chips. “Me with my giant hunters bow and hip quiver, but thank you for assuming otherwise.”

“Which leaves you as the…Lieutenant,” he finished, the words rolling right off his tongue as he gestured towards the winged individual with a hand. When his brain finally caught up with his actions, he went almost as stiff as he had been just a few minutes prior. This was not just any winged individual; this was the being who could slaughter cities singlehandedly, the one who’s loyalty to their god was unquestioned, the one who was the next in the chain of command. And his leader. “Or, wait, no…the Right Hand?”

“I’ve been called both of those and several more names besides, pick whichever one you like better,” he said with a shrug, picking up his hand and raising an eyebrow. Taking two chips from the pile, he causally rolled them between his fingers before throwing them into the center. “So, you’re the new Young Priest?”

“Er, yes, sir,” said. As if on cue, he quickly snatched up the cards in front of him and looked them over. A pair of fives…not great odds.

The Lieutenant snorted. “Oh please, now you make it sound like I’m in charge or have any semblance of power.”

“But…aren’t you technically our…leader of sorts?”

“And your point being?”

Young Priest could feel his cheeks turning the same color as his hair. “I…uh…alright then…I’ll just…go back to looking at these cards…” As he trailed off, some of his birth accent slipped out and he couldn’t help but wince.

The Lieutenant chuckled a little and glanced over to Old Priestess. “I will say this, I like this one a lot better than the last guy. But you didn’t say anything about him being British.”

“I said he was a good fit, was I wrong?” she asked, tapping the top of her tokens with a long finger nail. Curiously, while everyone else had tossed in orange tokens that shined like fish scales, she was using dull green chips with a tortoise shell pattern along the sides. “And what are countries anyways? Borders change, people move, buildings crumble into ruin as languages and accents die out, and time goes on.” She flicked four chips into the center pile.

Huntress glanced him over from head to toe as she refilled her drink. “Well, you’re a little on the scrawny side, but that’s nothing a few days out in the woods won’t cure,” she said with a smirk, tipping the bottle towards him. “Want anything to drink? Whisky? Beer? Vodka?”

“Um…do you have ginger ale?”

“One of these days I’ll get one of you to be my drinking buddy, mark my words,” she said with a sigh, grabbing a can out of the cooler and sliding it across the table. “But yeah, seems like a good fit. Assuming you don’t try and backstab us like the last one did.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Witch said with a nod of her head, leaning back in her chair and balancing it on the back prongs. “Seems like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and a good sense of humor. And if Old Priestess is telling the truth, you’ve already got a little magic, so this next part will be a piece of cake.”

“I will say, you’re certainly different than I was expecting you to be…and I am very curious to see what our newest colleague has in store,” Advisor said, shooting him a cursory glance and a raised eyebrow. “Now that being said, are you going to bet or not?”

“I mean…I would…but I’m not exactly sure what I’m betting here…” he slowly replied, turning one of the orange betting chips over. “I’m…guessing souls?”

“I mean, we’re currently using enchanted goldfish, but if you wanna use souls, we can switch over,” the Lieutenant said with a shrug.

“You’re…what?”

“We used to use souls, but then Captain got annoyed with us playing with her meatsacks and messing up their nap time,” the Witch clarified. “But between the koi pond, a little potion stuff from me, and Advisor’s enchantments, it works well enough for casual games.”

“I use turtles because I’m fancy,” Old Priestess chimed in.

Young Priest just slowly set the single chip in the center of the table. “...is it worth for me to question any of this?”

“Nope!” Old Priestess replied, throwing down her hand into middle of the table to reveal a royal flush. “Read ‘em and weep!”

A collective groan erupted from the table as the rest of the Followers tossed their cards with a huff and some very colorful language. With nimble fingers and a victorious cackle, Old Priestess snatched up the pool and started stacking her earnings into neat little piles. There was a sharp clap and the remaining cards floated into a small discard pile, Advisor going back to dealing with the same bemused expression on his face as Huntress cussed out Old Priestess with just about every curse word known to man.

The Young Priest bit back a small smile. Not exactly what he had expected the five most dangerous followers of the Murder God to be like.

But not exactly unwelcome either.

[trashunlimited]

to conclude, here’s the epilogue. also, i’m putting this all on ao3 and will post the link soon. this isn’t the end of my rick x julie content, there will be more! i need to post something fluffy to make up for all this angst.

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

tagging: @nightshade1994, @glampyra  

Rick had been looking for a powerful fuel source, and remembered the one on Fyralog, perhaps the crystal was still there? It was certainly worth a shot.

Taking Morty along with him as normal, they were flying around on Rick’s ship, looking for the remains of Fyralog. Rick grinned excitedly when they finally come upon Fyralog, and landed on it. The planet look barren, desolate and deserted, the buildings destroyed and there was no life in sight.

“Jeez Rick, what happened here?” Morty asked nervously.

“This Morty, is all that’s left of the Fyralogin Empire, once the dominant force in the galaxy before it collapsed and was replaced by the F-Feds.” Rick explained. “But g-guess who took it down? Me!” He proudly proclaimed, pointing to himself.

“You took down an entire e-empire?” Morty responded in shock.

“Hell yeah dawg! Years ago I stole a chunk of the fuel source we’re here for, they tried to get it back but it collapsed before they could!” Rick laughed.

He knew he shouldn't be surprised, this was Rick after all. But to know he took down an entire empire single handedly? It was both shocking and amazing.

“So...why are we here now Rick?” He wondered.

“To get the another chunk of that fuel source obviously! What else would we come here for?” He hissed. Morty realized that maybe he shouldn’t have asked.

----------------------

As the duo wandered together, Morty found himself really creeped out by the place. The combination of the lack of life when there clearly had been some at one point, the broken and boarded up buildings and the feelings of emptiness made him uneasy. “This place is really cr-cr-creeping me out Rick..” He mumbled.

“Don't be a baby Morty, y-you've been to worse places, this'll be cake.” Rick brushed him off. Morty sighed and continued walking with him.

He started to realize they were headed towards the large building in the center, and so figured that the fuel source must be in there.

When they arrived in the building, it was completely dark, so Rick took out a flashlight and turned it on, using it to help him look around and traverse the building. Morty clung onto his lab coat as they walked, even more frightened than before.

As they walked around, they saw a green glow and headed towards it, where they the crystal-like fuel source, Even now, it still had broken and mangled wires connecting to it.

“Jackpot!” Rick grinned, pumping a fist in the air.

But as soon as he started heading towards it, a figure with two pairs of golden glowing eyes appeared in the darkness. Startled, Rick used the flashlight to get a better look at the figure, and wasn’t surprised when he saw it was Pyri, the former empress of the Fyralogin Empire. There was a look of pure malice and insanity on her face, which made sense, she had been here, alone in the darkness for decades.

“You..” She snarled, glaring at Rick. “You took everything from me! My planet, my people, my empire, my pride..”

Rick ignored her and she watched as he took out another of the crystal. Her eyes wandered around and landed on Morty, and she became confused, unsure who he was. Pyri had expected to see Julie, but she wasn’t there. She’d never seen what Julie actually looked like, but assumed she would’ve seen a woman around Rick’s age, not whoever this was.

“Where is Julie?” Pyri asked, making Rick stop dead in his tracks. When she didn’t get a response, she asked again. “I asked you, where is Julie? What happened to her?”

Rick still wasn’t responding, which gave her a hint on what had happened. “Oh I see, so she’s dead huh? Did you kill her or something?”

At this, Morty noticed he was shaking and had a horrified expression on his face. He wasn’t sure who Julie was exactly, but knew whoever she was, she must’ve been important to Rick.

“So you did kill her after all huh? Should’ve known...she loved you and killed her!”

Morty didn’t know what to do when he saw Rick clench his fists as he started to tear up.. Something was wrong…

Pyri kept egging Rick on and taunting him. “Poor sweet Julie, you dragged her into your bullshit and tricked her into loving you. She died because of you, it’s all your fault!”

Rick snapped at this, and pulled out a weapon with him. “No!” He screamed as he shot her. “I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it! I didn’t…” When Pyri collapsed dead on the ground, Rick sat down on his knees and sobbed.

Morty was concerned and worried for him, what was he supposed to do now? He didn’t want to stay here any longer and so tugged on Rick’s shoulder to get his attention. “W-We should go Rick…”

Rick looked over at him and wiped his tears away. “Yeah...whatever..”

------------------

On their back, Rick and Morty were both silent, neither saying a word to each other. What could they even say? Morty had seen Rick in such a vulnerable moment, he had let his emotions get the best of him, he wanted to avoid doing something like that again.

Morty nervously rubbed one of his arms and glanced over at Rick. “Rick...whose Julie?”

Rick clenched his fists on the steering wheel of the ship, tightening his grip on it. “Shut up, just shut up...:” He growled before looking away.

Morty knew he wasn’t going to get an answer out of Rick, so he thought on his own who Julie could be. She was someone clearly very important to him, who was also dead. With this, Morty wondered if Julie was his grandma. He’d never met, seen or even heard of his grandma before, no one seemed to want to talk about her, there was no pictures of her in the house, but why? Considering Rick’s reaction to her being mentioned and all, maybe it was just too hard to talk about her. Though Morty was curious about Julie, he wasn’t sure if he would ever get to learn about her, he hoped he could though someday.

------------------

When they returned to Earth, Rick immediately went up into his room, refusing to even look at anyone. Summer had seen this and walked over to Morty, just as confused as he was. “Uh...what’s wrong with Grandpa Rick?” She asked.

“I...I don’t know..” Morty admitted. “When we went to go get something on another planet, someone there mentioned a person named Julie, she told Rick that he caused Julie’s death and he freaked out and killed her. He wouldn’t say a-anything about it on our way b-back.”

Summer was surprised by this. “What? Really? Who do you think Julie could be?”

“I was thinking that she’s our gr-grandma. I mean...with Rick’s reaction and all, I think she was important to him, but she died…” He answered.

“Makes sense, it would explain a lot wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah...I just h-hope either R-Rick or Mom will want to tell us s-something about her eventually..”

-----------------

Rick sat alone on his bed, tears flowing down his face. When he had brought Morty to Fyralog with him, he hadn’t thought Pyri would even be there, he presumed she’d died, but he’d been wrong unfortunately, at least until he’d killed her himself. But he should’ve known better...he’d came there for his own personal gain, and Pyri had ended up blaming him for Julie’s death.

The truth was that Rick did actually blame himself for Julie’s death. He felt if he hadn’t left her all those years ago, that she would still be alive, that they would still be together and be happy. He could wake up in the morning and be greeted by her lovely face, he could still taste her kisses and feel her warmth, and Julie would continue to be there for him, loving and supporting him as always.

Even if she had developed the condition that killed her anyways, Rick knew he could cure her, but he couldn’t cure her now that she was dead. Despite his genius, Rick couldn’t reverse death. He didn’t see cloning as an option either, because while he could do that, it wouldn’t be the same, the clone wouldn’t be the Julie he fell in love with, it would be someone completely different.

Before Julie had entered his life, it had been lonely, miserable, empty and depressing. But once she had become apart of it, his life instantly became better. She’d brought out the best in him, made him feel genuinely happy, probably for even the first time in his life, and was the first to show him love and kindness.

Now she was gone, and the empty feelings had returned to him, the only way they could be filled, the only way his heart could heal is if she came back into his life. But because she was dead, that was impossible. Rick believed he was doomed to remain a depressed, suicidal alcoholic for the rest of his miserable life.

He took out the crystal rose he’d gotten for Julie, before they’d even started dating. She’d loved it so much, and he could still remember the day he took her to that gemstone planet visibility. Rick remembered they’d even had their wedding there. He clutched onto rose and angrily threw it on the floor, but it didn’t break, there wasn’t even a crack, it stayed still and intact.

Rick pulled out his flask and opened it, downing some alcohol as more tears stained his face.

[1358456]

Gold Version Joy Run

Something that I wanted to do. Just like Yellow version, I will not restrict myself whatsoever. Which means... bring on the shenanigans.

Also, very important for me! This is the VERY FIRST TIME I actually do a full Gold version run with all the glitches at my disposal! So this is a new experience!

Let’s dance.

Right off the bat, a little f*ckery. Hey there, Silver boy. My croc is bigger than yours. ... What? Temporarily named as “Leviathan” since... well, let’s just say that the early Korean version of a certain scripture translated “Leviathan” as an alligator/crocodile. ... Gators don’t breathe flames from the mouth.

Critical Pokemon captured! Huhuhahahaha! Oh, Hoppip gets THREE moves at level 5, and one of them is Splash?! Ohohoho!

Once again, Silver boy, my croc is bigger than yours.

Splash in the third slot, eh?

Sorcery! Huhuhahahaha! Nickname: Apocalypse.

Here’s a little... side-product. ... Now that is a hell of a Rattata. No Rattata in existence can possibly have almost 400 HP at level 100, let alone level 69.

Or have that much Def, Sp. Atk, and Sp. Def. ... Or that low of an Atk. ... Dude. This guy can take hits and nothing else.

Turns out, you don’t even need a Graveler to whip Whitney’s ass. Geodude is fine. “Whits Bane”. As in, “Whitney’s Bane”. ... This was its literally only purpose.

So... this guy here... was a Quilava. Its data got corrupted during the demon magic bullsh*t, and it became an unstable Rattata. Which, when “stabilized”, became a level 1 Jigglypuff with Pokerus. ... Yep. I just force-spawned Pokerus. Because why not.

They are... parasites. Tiny little life forms stuck on the Pokemon. ... That’s nasty, dude.

The sorcery continues! Rock Smash in 3rd slot. Nickname: Leviathan. The true one. Behold the leviathan, monster of the sea! Its strong scales are its pride!

... Apparently this run’s ID gives me Smog and Fire Spin. Because those two moves were on all five Pokemon that I used this glitch to hatch. ... Which means this Lugia here is 2/5.

Nidorino! ... A Normal type Nidorino. ... ?????

“You could never catch a legendary Pokemon anyway.” ... You were literally just whipped by two of them. You blind f*ck.

Turns out, Morty is insanely easy if you... you know. Mewtwo doesn’t get Psychic until level 66, but... it gets Confusion at level 1.

Chuck’s Poliwrath was blasted so hard, its sprite died. RIP. Also proof that this was the result of shenanigans. Not only do I have a Lugia that’s level 24 (when the lowest you can get is 40 in Silver), but... Aeroblast. Aeroblast is only available in Silver version, since Lugia gets it at level 1, and then learns a new move every 11x level (11, 22, 33, 44, etc). So at level 40, it has Aeroblast, Safeguard, Gust, and Recover. In the wild, a level 44 one would’ve erased Aeroblast for Hydro Pump. So in Gold version, the level 70 Lugia does not have Aeroblast. In Crystal, the level... 60? Lugia does not have Aeroblast. And there is no such thing as a move re-learner in GSC. ... Similarly, Gold is the only version where you can get Sacred Fire. ... Which means, poor Crystal version. Doesn’t get sh*t.

Speaking of Sacred Fire... Shenanigans! Whirlpool in the 3rd slot. Nickname: Phoenix. 3/5.

Somehow, this doesn’t feel fair. Lance in the Pokemon League. Getting one-shotted. Hmm...

Well, that’s the Pokemon League down. EASY! But this time, I’m going all the way. Kanto!

Hey, this is the guy that kills your game. Talk to that thing and then open the Coin Case and then your game gets f*cked. Something like that.

Hmm... Kanto, huh? Then I get access to Grimer, and therefore Acid Armor... Hmm...

Huhuhuhahaha! Acid Armor in 3rd slot. Nickname: Doomguard. Apparently you can’t use numbers, so... I couldn’t name it as “135″. Boo. Ehn. It’s not shiny, so... 4/5.

“This Gym is great! Only girls are allowed here!” ... Yeah, maybe that line is better deleted in HGSS. ... The HGSS line makes no damn sense. Just deleting this guy would’ve been better.

... Were you... having a date right in front of someone else’s house? ... What is wrong with you?

Oh you poor, sad little man. Living in a cave, since Cinnabar Island burned down. Volcano eruption. Well, at least in HGSS, you modified the sh*t out of the cave floor in Seafoam Islands. In here, you’re literally just a dude sitting in a cave all by yourself.

Janine. You sad f*ck. What is this? Level 36?! The weakest Kanto leader by far. Even weaker than a Johto leader. That’s just... pitiful.

Oh, I remember this. The trainer house? Oh, I spent a lot of time here back in actual Gold version, trying to get Metronome to get Transform so I could Transform into the Smeargle with Sketch, so that the Mewtwo would get Sacred Fire. And I succeeded... twice, since I accidentally deleted Thunderbolt, so I had to do this glitch again, but for Thunderbolt.

Johto Leaders must be pretty pathetic because I beat them? You f*ck. Here you are, sitting all by yourself in a Gym clearly made of Lego, and you’re calling the Johto Leaders pathetic?

Well, now that I annihilated this f*ck with Mewtwo (for a specific reason), I now have access to Mt. Silver, and thus, my 5th and last addition to my team. Oh, SNEASEL!!!

Final shenanigans. Beat Up in 3rd slot. Nickname: Temporus. 5/5. It ain’t a Dragon, but hey. Time thingy. And so my team is ready. Level 59 Mew, 56 Mewtwo, 55 Lugia, 55 Ho-oh, 55 Celebi. Time to take on Red with his level 70+ team.

Oh yeah. GSC Mt. Silver requires Flash. ... Flash is for sissies?!

... Wow. Can’t see sh*t except for an item that’s... ... How would you even see that?!

So... Flash is necessary. Cool. Adding in a level 5 Togepi with Flash. The team is ready.

Mt. Silver. So... here is a “hidden” path that leads to a cave with literally nothing in it. ... Like, what the f*ck was the point of this?

And another hidden path to another hidden cave with literally nothing in it. ... WHY?! Were there supposed to be some cool hidden sh*t here that got canned at the last moment?!

... So, that’s how pitiful Pikachu is. Level 81, got outrun by a level 59 Mew (base 90 vs. base 100), and one-shotted by Earthquake. ... See, this is why I can the Pikachu as soon as possible in Yellow version for a Mew. Pikachu ain’t my starter. MEW is my starter!

And ANNIHILATED! You poor sap. I have a bunch of Pokemon 20 levels lower, and yet... EASY. Why? Because Legendaries have much higher stats than other Pokemon. And in RGBY GSC, every stat gets “EVed”. ... PKRS also helps out greatly. In short, all my Pokemon are better by far. ... Which is why I restrict myself to non-Legendaries only in other normal runs. It just ain’t fair otherwise.

Now that I finished the game, I guess I’ll go to the one thing I always found super cool and very f*cking meaningless. Edit the time to be Monday, and make a beeline for Mt. Moon!

... F*ck. I forgot about this encounter. Way to ruin it, dude. It’s a huge step down from facing Red to facing you. Boo. ... Also, now you f*cking notice? You weak pathetic f*ck. Dude, you don’t need love to raise Pokemon. You’ve been using violence, and you’ve been mislead that you need love and affection. ... Dude, you need knowledge. Violence can only come properly afterwards. ... This is a reference to the elder’s questions in Crystal and HGSS Dragon’s Den. “What do you need to raise Pokemon? Love, violence, or knowledge?”

The Clefairy dance in Mt. Moon Square! Only on Mondays at night. This is still in HGSS, I think. The Clefairy dance and... leaves you a Moon Stone before running off, which means the Moon Stone is the only evolution stone you can get infinite amount of times. The others, you get like... two. Fire/Water/Leaf/Thunder Stones require you to be in Kanto for some f*cked up reason!

Now then, Gold version joy run is over. Lots of shenanigans happened. And here is my final team:

Caught Snorlax with a duplicated Master Ball, removed the Leftovers, duplicated that 5 times so all 5 of my Pokemon can have one. Constant HP regeneration for Pokemon with PKRS boosted stat experience, and with base HP stats of 100, 100, 106, 106, 106? That’s pretty freaking cheap, man.

Psychic: Level 40, but... who has the time for that? Duplicated TM 29: Psychic 4 times, so... yay. Shadow Ball: TM 30, again duplicated. Earthquake: TM 26, duplicated. Ice Punch, TM 33. Purchased in Goldenrod! Yay for not having to use the duplication glitch!

... And PP maxed for the PP 10 or lower moves using the duplicated PP Ups.

I ain’t waiting for level 66 for Mewtwo to get Psychic. Duplicated TM!

Psychic, Earthquake, and Shadow Ball. ... Just like Mew. And Ho-oh. DUPLICATION! But look. When there’s one...

There’s the other. With a symmetrical moveset.

... Celebi doesn’t learn Psychic by itself. ... TM. Also doesn’t get Giga Drain by itself. ... TM (duplicated). Shadow Ball? Also TM. And since Celebi’s movepool is as shallow as Keldeo’s, I let it keep Leech Seed. And with Leech Seed and Leftovers, Celebi here was able to easily annihilate Red’s Snorlax despite its Amnesia. EASY!

And there you have it! An easy-ass annihilation of Gold version. ... All you have to do f*ck up the game. At one point, the Dex said that I owned 39 Pokemon. But the Dex only showed me the “owned” icons for 19. Which means, I apparently owned 20 Pokemon that I never saw. ... Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Poor game. But at least “POOKYPOOKY” didn’t appear this time.

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: Final Space

WARNING: I got a dank kool-aid pancake recipe. Also, 2nd gif is from @chookity-wow.Thank you, stay safe out there, and enjoy.

Let’s Do The Space Odyssey

HOORAY! An adult cartoon that isn’t just a comedy! An adult cartoon that doesn’t rely on gross out, swearing, and raunchiness to be fun! A ten...episode........miniseries. [sigh] I’ll discuss that later. But, in all fairness, I’m enjoying Space Dandy so far.

No really, this is the cartoon version of Space Dandy, one of my favorite animes of all time. Think I’m joking? Has annoying sounding robots. Has a sardonic cat like alien that looks to reconnect with family. A no nonsense, skilled female space operative who shows romantic interest in our main hero while having priorities straight. A villain with a desire to conquer the universe and is tracking down the heroes in search for the key behind everything. The key behind everything. The series will end with everyone at the literal end of the universe. And, of course...

The easy-going, sometimes suave, and reckless space pioneer that gets by life on a whim and almost dies nearly every episode; practically the same show

“Except AHaaa! Final Space came before Space Dandy with creator Olan Rogers’ first ever cartoon back in 2010, four years before it ever existed.”

But then again, AHaaa AGAIN! The actual pilot for Final Space existed two years after Space Dandy, so take that me........

In all seriousness, Final Space actually does Space Dandy justice for doing a lot of things right on its own, with its own merit. Though, the one thing I must say is a downside is its beginning 3 episodes, which seeks to racewalk through the setup in order to truly get things going. The characters are solid in their own right, each with goals you can get behind, but it’ll take some time to really flesh them out otherwise they’re just around to further the plot. It kinda felt like it was checking off everything everybody needs to know before throwing you in to the possible wild ride it has in store later on. Yeah Dandy did this in its first episode, but that episode resulted in everyone dying so with this being a 10 part single story, it’s something where if you can get past the beginning, the narrative slows down and starts working a lot better.

Especially if it got Porg. Ugh, I love you, Porg.

Though not only does the story sound pretty good, the animation is really crisp, like homemade chips. I mean, it is genuinely going all out and I’m finding it better animated than Rick & Morty, it’s weird. Like yeah, there’s simplicity in design, but this has very fluid cinematic appeal. Put this in an IMAX theater, and you got yourself something.

It’s somewhat maniacal how good this can look

But, going back to narrative, I am pretty invested in how everything will turn up. Sure, I’m a little frustrated that it’s a limited series like Apple and Onion, another great show, and even when Olan had plans for future seasons, plans might grow stagnant until everyone forgets just like other limited series’. And sure, the tease at every episode’s opening indicates that time is gonna run out and shit’s about to go down. BUT, that last sentence, and like Over the Garden Wall, another mini-series, the fun is seeing how it gets to the end. And with the pretty grim, close to death moments the 4 episodes have already, and with Mooncake being the most cuddly doomsday device around, who’s the say the adventure isn’t worth seeing ‘til the end, whether we’re able to go around again or not.

And I’m a sucker for cuddlesome, explosive aliens

I’m hooked. Final Space has done good by having an overarching story that is slowly but surely putting the pieces together, with said pieces mostly laid before us (unlike other cartoons). You could find it be a Rick and Morty knock off, but no............ With animation as solid as a rock, and with it being only 10 episode in the wait like a graphic novel, I am considerably willing to rate this a solid 5/5, an honest masterpiece and- Huh?.You’re kidding, wha--well shoot. Okay, apparently Porg’s not in this season and ummm *deep sigh* welp, what’s a space adventure without the key to life, the universe, and everything. Like it’s called Final Space and it doesn’t have the final point of space itself. Tch, well do give it a watch, if not for one binge watch through once it’s all premiered.

Four Out Of Five. Should’ve had Porg.