#there was a little drinking bird thing there too on the nightstand or something

[zaza-expert]

I always have the most intense nap dreams

[athforskz]

Locked In - Yang Jeongin

Masterlist

Pairing: Jeongin x reader (afab)

Non-idol au

wc: ~7.7k

semi-proofread

Warnings: fluff, angst, pet names (babe/baby, princess), smut, jealousy, alcohol/drinking, dub-con if you squint, dry humping, fingering, oral (m- receiving), stealthing, unprotected piv, Yandere!Jeongin, breeding, baby trapping, dacryphilia, choking, spit, anal thumbing.

I think that’s it, let me know if I missed any!

Read responsibly. You are responsible for the content you consume.

Enjoy lovelies!

It was already Friday again. Meaning yet another week in your not so exciting life had flown by. You had no plans for the weekend and no friends that were free to spend it with. You, in fact, were the last of your friends that was still single. Everyone else had either married off or were currently in a serious relationship. You couldn’t help but feel the existential dread that encompassed your mind.

What if I’m alone forever?

Yeah, sure you’re still young in the grand scheme of things, but you couldn’t shake the doubt that maybe something was wrong. Wrong with you. Your body shook at the thought.

Deciding to do push the mess of thoughts to the back of your mind, you fished around for your phone in the nest of blankets you had curled yourself in on your bed. Your fingers quickly tap through your home screen until finding the app you were looking for. Tinder.

“Am I really doing this…?” You muttered to yourself. Contemplating once again about your life decisions. All you wanted was someone to call your own. A person to spend quality time with. Possibly settle down and start a life filled with contentment and love. Was that too much to ask?

Against your better judgement you opened the app and set up your profile. You chose the best pictures of yourself to display. Also making sure to write in your bio what you were seeking in a partner, that you were serious about your expectations. You may have been desperate but not desperate enough to lower the bar. At least not yet.

Within a few hours of swiping mindlessly, you got a couple dozen matches. Most of them are not what you’re looking for. But there was one that stood out. His name was Jeongin. He could hold a conversation, even making you laugh a few times. Before you knew it hours had passed of you both talking back and forth on the dating app. He ended up asking for your number claiming he doesn’t get on Tinder much anymore but wanted to keep the conversation going with you. Things were going so well that you thought nothing of it and immediately sent him your contact information. A couple minutes later your phone dinged with a message notification that you could safely assume was your new interest.

Unknown: Hey, y/n! It’s Jeongin :)

You: Do I know you?

You teased him as you saved his contact to your phone.

Jeongin: I’m so sorry! Wrong number!

You: Just kidding lol it’s me, y/n!

Jeongin: You almost sent me into a panic you little minx

The little pet name had you turned onto your front with your legs propped up behind you and kicking freely. You two texted for a little while longer before calling it a night.

Little did you know, Jeongin stayed up half the night doing research on you. Digging up whatever he could find about your past and your present. He had never known someone so beautiful, so perfect. So you. He couldn’t help the burning obsession he was growing towards you. It was like a thirst that could not be quenched. He needed you. All of you. Jeongin had never felt this way about anybody before and he wasn’t about to let it go. Was this what euphoria felt like?

The next morning you had awoken to a bird pecking at your window. The tap-tap-tap sounds reverberate throughout your room. You got up from your bed stretching with a yawn before opening your curtains to find the little tweeting perpetrator. It flew off quickly upon it being caught, leaving you to stare at the newly arisen sun. Just then, your phone vibrated on the nightstand. Hm, 7:03am the clock read. You swiftly unlocked your phone and unplugged it from the charger to read the new message from Jeongin.

Jeongin: Good morning! Hope you slept well

You: Morning, Jeongin! I did actually. Did you get some good rest too?

Jeongin: You could say that. Hey, I uh.. I wanted to ask you something.

You: What’s up?

Jeongin: Do you want to go get coffee together? Like today? I know it’s short notice so if you can’t that’s totally fine!

You: I’d love to go with you :)

Jeongin’s heart flipped in his chest with a widening smile across his face. He can’t believe you agreed to go with him. Now was his time to shine! He had to look his best for you which would be easier said than done because he in fact did not get any sleep. How could he when all that was on his mind was you?

The both of you agreed to meet at a local cafe called LaVazza in an hour. At first, you weren’t expecting to be doing anything with your Saturday besides maybe catching up on some research for your job. However, that could wait until later. You had a date with a cute guy after all.

Wait… a date? Can I even call it that? Is that what this is?

Numerous thoughts began to fill your head as you got ready. Should you dress up or look casual? Go all out with your makeup? Should you put your hair up or leave it down? A cold splash of water would help you think more clearly. Finally, you decided on an off the shoulder cashmere sweater, leggings, and black booties with light makeup to complete the look. You brushed your hair choosing to leave it down since your shoulders were exposed. You did one last mirror check before grabbing the essentials and making your way out of the apartment.

The cafe wasn’t too far from your place so walking was your choice of transportation. Nothing like a brisk walk on a cool Saturday morning to calm your nerves.

Upon reaching LaVazza, the fresh smell of coffee hit your nose. You breathed in deeply while looking around for Jeongin. No sign of him yet. You had gotten there a few minutes early after all. Surely he’d be here in a bit. You walked over to a booth seated in the corner next to the window while you waited; checking your phone every so often to see if you had gotten any messages. Nothing.

At some point you had zoned out while looking over the menu to decide what to order. You snapped back to reality once you felt a presence looming next to you.

“This seat taken?” A warm voice asked.

You looked up to meet none other than Jeongin’s gaze. Your mouth slightly agape as you took in the sight of him. Of course you had seen his photos on tinder yesterday but he was down right handsome in the flesh. He took his seat in the booth directly across from you, folding his hands neatly in front of him on the table. He cleared his throat which brought you out of a daze. “I-I’m sorry. Um hi! It’s nice to finally meet you.” You blinked and extended your hand across the table while mentally scolding yourself for staring so shamelessly. He chuckled while taking your hand and bringing it up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. Your face flushed in a deep blush. You had been going for a simple handshake but you weren’t going to complain about his greeting. Not when his lips felt so soft on your skin and his voice was like velvet. “Nice to meet you too,” he finally replied.

It seemed like Jeongin was playing it cool, but on the inside he was on fire. He felt his world stop when he first laid eyes on you sitting in the booth. He can’t believe just how gorgeous you are up close. Once you caught sight of him he saw your reaction, making a mental note of it for later.

“Did you order anything yet?” He asked you with a rise at the end of his voice. You shook your head in response looking down at the menu on the table. “I’m stuck between a lavender chai or the classic espresso. Maybe a chocolate croissant too. What are you getting?” You quipped. He pretended to think for a minute. “I always get the americano. It’s my go to.” Jeongin smiled at you. His smile was so bright, so cute, so entrancing. You couldn’t help but smile back, he was infectious.

After finalizing your decision on the lavender chai, you and Jeongin made your way over to the counter to order. You began reaching into your purse to pull out your card before Jeongin playfully scoffed. “Hey, I got it. Put that away.” You were confused at first, “I can at least pay for my own. You don’t have t-“ he interrupted. “Nuh uh, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll bring our order over once it’s ready.” He said calmly before handing the barista his card. “But I insist!” You blurted out. He raised an eyebrow at you in amusement. Before you could embarrass yourself any further you walked back over to the corner booth, waiting patiently for Jeongin to return.

During your wait, you came to the final realization that yes, this was definitely a date.

Once the order arrived you two had begun opening up to each other. Telling each other about yourselves. Your upbringing, your jobs, friends, hobbies. Pretty much anything. The conversation was flowing nicely. Little did you know Jeongin had already known so much about you. He knew exactly what to say to keep you interested in him. To keep you engaged to him and only him.

Before either of you realized, two hours had passed by. The both of you reluctantly opted to call it a day. You had research to catch up on and Jeongin had errands to run.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” he said while holding the cafe door open for you.

“Oh, no need. I actually walked here. My place isn’t too far.”

“What? No way, I walked too! I can walk you home at least.” He offered. Jeongin lied. His car was parked around the corner but he would rather walk with you to spend more time with you. You hesitated for a bit, mulling it over. You just met this man today. Even though you both talked for hours he was still a stranger to you. Should you really let him know where you live? In conclusion, you did it anyway.

“Sure, why not?” You shrugged then proceeded to lead the way. He followed slightly behind you, acting as if he didn’t already know where you lived.

About halfway through the walk, Jeongin felt bold enough to touch your hand, wrapping his pinky finger around yours. You didn’t mind it, you thought it was sweet as he smiled down at you, listening to you speak about some story that happened at a recent friend’s get-together.

Another few minutes went by and y’all had reached the front door to your apartment. You turned on your heels to face Jeongin.

“Thank you for this morning. I had a lot of fun, Jeongin,” you admitted.

“I did too. Thanks for agreeing to meet me,” he replied. His eyes fluttered looking at your features, from your lips to your eyes.

Suddenly you felt warm, a blush creeping up from your neck to your cheeks. Was he going to-?

“Howdy, neighbor!” Your next door neighbor beamed happily as they slammed their door shut and locked it. You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding as you turned to wave at your neighbor. Jeongin cursed under his breath, becoming irrationally angry at your neighbor for the split second you weren’t paying attention to him. In the blink of an eye he was back to his calm and cheery self once you turned back to him.

“Let me know when you get home okay?” You requested of him before leaning up on your tippy toes and landing a peck on his cheek. All he could do was nod, his skin igniting at the touch of your lips. You unlocked your door bidding him a final goodbye as he walked off. He still felt the lingering connection of your lips on his cheek. Now he was locked in for sure. And unknowingly, that meant you were locked in too.

A few more weeks passed and the bond between Jeongin and you became stronger. He had invited you out on several more dates during that time. Some of them being more casual and others being romantic. You honestly couldn’t be happier. Nothing between you two was made mutually exclusive yet (or so you thought), but it was certainly heading that way.

Currently, you were on a FaceTime call with Jeongin while you were doing chores around your apartment. You had your phone propped up on the coffee table, facing away from it as you fluffed the pillows on the couch during your rambling about what happened at work the other day. Jeongin was barely listening. All he could focus on was the way your Nike pro shorts hugged the fat of your thighs along with the swell of your ass cheeks peeking through perfectly. Any time you’d bend over he’d take a screenshot without you ever noticing.

Thank goodness you could only see his face because he currently had his hand in his sweats to lazily palm his twitching cock. Every now and then he would let out a heavy sigh, but you chalked it up to him just being tired. “Innie, I can let you off if you want to go to sleep. I have to start getting ready anyway,” you had recently took to calling him by the nickname. Just then, his head shot up from the relaxed position it was in, hand retracing from his pants. “Get ready? Ready for what?” He completely ignored your comment about his tiredness. Jeongin was more concerned about your future whereabouts. He had become very good at keeping tabs on you whether you knew about it or not. But this time he had no indication that you planned on going somewhere. Somewhere without him.

“My friend invited me to a party tonight!” Party? You don’t party. Jeongin knows you don’t.

“I normally don’t like going to such things, but I haven’t hung out with my friends in a while, so why not, ya know?” You continued. His face dropped.

Why does she feel the need to go somewhere without me? He thought to himself.

His next words threw you for a loop, “Can I come?”

You were taken aback, “But you don’t know anyone that’ll be there.”

“I know you...” He raised an eyebrow waiting for your response. You seemed to be lost in thought. Is this a good idea, introducing him to your friends so soon? And without an official label no less.

“I don’t know, Innie. My friends will get the wrong idea about us and I don’t-“

“Wrong idea?” He interrupted.

“Like they’ll think we’re together.” You announced. You swear you saw his eye twitch.

“But we are together. At least I thought we were,” he retorted.

Now it was your turn to raise a brow. “We are? Since when?”

“Since we started going on a bunch of dates and hanging out. Not to mention all of the kissing. C’mon sweetheart, did you really think I was just playing around with you?”

He was right, you two had been spending a lot of time together. You’d see him at least every other day and talk to him on the phone on the days that you weren’t with him. Things had become a lot more serious between the both of you including the ever fervent makeout sessions. Neither of you had gone farther than kissing and lingering touches with each other, but the thought of going to the next level with Jeongin made your eyes glaze over. “Well..?” He chuckled waiting for your answer. You shook your head letting out a light laugh in the process as a blush covered your cheeks. “Okay, fine you can come with me since apparently you’re my boyfriend now.”

Boyfriend

Boyfriend

Boyfriend.

The word leaving from your mouth to label him as such a thing sounded so sweet. But he wanted to be more to you. For you. He wanted to be all you ever needed. Wanted you to rely on him for absolutely everything. You didn’t need anyone else. All he wanted you to need was him.

A sly smile played on his lips as he at least took this as a good start. Perfect.

Well into the night you found yourself enthralled with the party, having a good time with everyone. You were glad to have agreed to come out and bring Jeongin with you. Your friends however, were not thrilled with your new boyfriend. You had introduced them to him earlier in the night but your friends could tell that something was off with him. You didn’t notice their uneasiness towards Jeongin at first, as you were busy throwing back shots and dancing. Normally, you didn’t drink but when you were out you drank heavily. A social drinker at its finest. Jeongin made sure to keep a close eye on you which wasn’t hard because when you weren’t drinking you were dancing with him. Grinding your ass into his pelvis as he kept a hand on your hips encouraging your movements. To you, it looked like he was enjoying himself. Nursing a red solo cup in his free hand with God knows what kind of alcohol in it. However, Jeongin was sure not to get too drunk so he could keep others away from you. He wanted all of your attention focused solely on him so your eyes wouldn’t wander. If he caught another guy looking at you he’d be sure to press a hot, lingering kiss to your neck as if to claim you for all to see. Right when you began leaning back into Jeongin’s chest one of your friends approached you.

“Y/n, can we talk for a sec?” She asked with a lilt to her voice. You gave her a silent nod before she started to pull you away from him by your wrist. Jeongin started to follow you to which your friend spoke up, “it’s girl talk only, you wouldn’t understand.” She gave him a sheepish smile then proceeded to lead you away, leaving him on the dance floor sipping his drink.

He didn’t like this. Not one bit. He doesn’t want anyone, not even your closest friends, taking you away from him. But, nonetheless, he allowed your friend to speak with you in private so he didn’t cause a scene. His eyes narrowed as he watched your form through the crowd of people making a mental note of where you were going just in case he needed to come get you.

Your friend pushed past a throng of people before slipping into a quiet room with you in tow. She closed the door prior to speaking.

“What are you doing?” She asked, turning slowly to meet your eyes.

“Um, having fun? Duh!” You couldn’t take her question seriously as you giggled.

“No, no not that! I mean like what are you doing with him?”

“You mean, Innie? I thought it’d be alright if he came with me. Was there like a super limited guest list I wasn’t informed about?” Your eyes widened at the realization.

Your friend rolled her eyes at you, “God, you really are drunk. There was not a guest list. I just want to know what in the hell you see in that man?”

“What are you talking about? Jeongin makes me happy and I-“

“He’s weird! I mean have you not seen the way he’s hoarding you to himself and giving death glares at anybody that even looks your direction?! That’s straight up toxic behavior!” She cut you off as her voice raised an octave. She wasn’t yelling but you still didn’t appreciate her tone.

“So everyone else gets to be happy with someone, but as soon as I get a boyfriend there’s a fucking problem? And you’re calling him toxic just because he’s a little protective? Do you even hear yourself right now?!” The alcohol was rushing in your veins making you a little bit more bold.

“Hey, you know that’s not what I meant. Just-“

“Save it!” It was your turn to interrupt her. You put your hand up in front of your face before shoulder checking her on the way out of the room.

You looked among the crowd to find Jeongin had moved to the back wall. You made your way over to him and he looked surprised, probably not expecting you to be back so soon.

“We should leave.” You said dryly while looking down at the floor, your arms crossed over your chest. Jeongin simply nodded and with that you both made your way out of the party.

Once in the car you sighed, the alcohol still buzzing through your body.

“You okay, baby? What happened in there?” He asked clearly concerned. He knew he shouldn’t have let you go off alone with her.

“Don’t worry about it, I.N. I’d rather not talk about it right now.” You trailed off while staring out the window. As much as he wanted to press you for answers, he didn’t pry any farther. He let you have your space for the time being. Jeongin only had one drink so he was fine to drive.

The way back was mostly silent besides the low hum of the radio in the background. Jeongin would occasionally rub or squeeze your thigh for reassurance which you appreciated. You just simply couldn’t get over the argument you had with your friend.

Is she crazy? Jealous?

There’s no way she could be. She was your best friend who got everything she wanted and she never had acted this way before.

But what about Jeongin made her so uneasy? What couldn’t you see?

You looked over at the man in the driver's seat, admiring his profile and the way he drove one-handed. He felt you staring at him so he turned his head to meet your gaze. He flashed a toothy smile which made you smile in return.

Soon he parked out front of your apartment, getting out of the car to come over to open your door for you. You gave him a small thanks before walking to your front door, him tailing behind you.

Once inside you kicked off your heels, sighing at the relief of your feet being flat on the floor. Jeongin closed and locked the door behind himself the proceeded to shuck off his jacket and step out of his shoes. He had been inside your apartment a handful of times now and became accustomed to it. Everything from the decorations to the furniture to the smell was so you. It was like being in heaven for him. He lifted his head to a familiar cork sound popping open followed by the clinking of glasses. You were in the kitchen, pouring wine for the both of you.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” He leaned over the island watching you pour.

“Just because we left the party doesn’t mean I want to lose my buzz.”

“I think you’re more than buzzed, babe.” He laughed as you waved him off. You handed him his glass then walked over to the living room, plopping down on the couch, Jeongin joining you. You kicked your legs over onto his lap as your dress rode up your thighs. He tucked your legs tightly into him as he drew random shapes with his fingertips just above your knees. You turned on your TV and flicked through various channels before finally settling on a random rom-com movie. Both of you offering commentary or laughing when appropriate.

You hadn’t noticed how much the wine had affected you until a rather spicy scene played during the movie. Getting an idea, you set the empty glass on the table before maneuvering to straddle Jeongin’s lap. You giggled while leaning in and trailing kisses down his sharp jawline.

“What are you planning, Princess?” You could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Shhh just relax,” you encouraged. With that he leaned his head back on the couch allowing you more access to his neck and jaw.

Jeongin absolutely loved the attention you gave him. Basking in it like his own reward for finding you.

You started to suck on the skin between his neck and shoulder, hoping to leave a mark. His hands wandered to your waist bringing you impossibly closer in his embrace. Jeongin groaned when you licked up from his throat to his lips and captured them in a kiss.

The kissing started off slow, innocent even before turning into a full on session of tongues and teeth. You bit his bottom lip gently pulling it to further tease him. His hands moved from their previous place on your waist down to the back of your thighs where the hem of your dress was caught. He pulled the dress further up until it was just under your abdomen leaving your black lace panties exposed. Jeongin then gripped your ass firmly, squeezing the flesh tightly in his hands. You disconnected from your heated makeout to let out a moan and grind your hips down on his growing bulge.

Jeongin hissed at the movement, but welcomed it nonetheless before catching your lips again and droving his tongue straight into your mouth to lick and suck at your own. Breathy moans continuously escaped your throat as you kept riding Jeongin over his pants. Your slick pooling through your panties and making a wet spot over the crotch of his jeans.

This was all so surreal. This was the first time either of you have taken it this far and it was definitely a welcome change to the typical makeout sessions you both shared. It made you want more of him. All of him.

Suddenly, you pulled away from the kiss and stopped your grinding to get off his lap. Jeongin looked breathless, dazed in the heat of the moment. His lips were swollen from all the kissing. You backed away making a ‘come here’ motion with your finger before turning and heading to your room. He grinned like the Cheshire cat and jumped up from the couch to follow you.

Even though, Jeongin had come over plenty of times by now this was his first time actually stepping foot into your room. Normally he’d look around to take in the sight of everything, but that was the last thing on his mind. There he saw you sitting on the edge of your bed with your legs crossed and that dreamy look in your eyes.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous..” he said barely above a whisper as he made his way over to you. He wasted no time in locking your lips again while pushing you to lay back on the bed. He pulled your left thigh to spread your legs and make room for himself to lay between them. Jeongin rolled his hips to press his clothed cock over your aching center, swallowing the moan you let out in the process. He didn’t want to get too carried away, but God did he want you. All of you.

Against his better judgment he let his body lead. Jeongin’s hands trailing up your sides and over your chest to palm your breasts over your dress. You arched your back slightly loving the feeling. He could feel your nipples harden through the fabric due to the absence of a bra. You secretly thanked the heavens that you didn’t need to wear one with this particular dress.

Not being able to take it anymore, Jeongin ripped the dress off of your form and threw it somewhere in the room to be forgotten. He immediately latched his mouth onto your left nipple while rolling and pinching the right between his fingers before switching sides.

“M-more, Innie, please.” You squeaked through your euphoric haze.

“Hm? Is my baby turning insatiable for me?” Jeongin teased while looking up at you. All you could do was whine and nod your head. You were desperate to feel his touch everywhere.

He leaned up again, getting close to your face as you felt one of his hands slither its way into your panties.

“Are you gonna be good for me, hm?” He asked then pressed an open mouth kiss to your lips.

“Uh huh, promise to be good.”

With your confirmation he spread your wet folds with his ring and pointer fingers while using his middle finger to glide from your clit down to your entrance. Jeongin just barely pushed into your pussy up to his first knuckle before pulling out again. Leaving you to clench around nothing. A pathetic whimper from you gracing his ears. He hushed you with another kiss before rubbing your clit in different ways, trying to find what you liked the most. You can’t lie, all of it felt good, but once he started circling your nub you let out a higher pitched moan than the rest.

“Oh yeah, like that? That’s a good girl letting me know just how to please you.” He cooed, continuing his circling movements on your clit for a bit longer then switched from his middle finger to his thumb so he could freely plunge two fingers inside of you. He pumped them slowly at first letting you get used to his slender digits before becoming a little rougher. Your body reacted to every little move he was doing to you, sending you into overdrive. It just felt so good to have him please you like his life depended on it. You could cum just from this, but he wasn’t done yet. Far from it. He pushed a third finger into you, pressing each one deeper than before and curving them upwards to reach that spongey spot within your core. The rings at the base of two of his fingers adding to the pleasure. The room was filled with the most disgustingly wet shlucking sounds from your pussy and your greedy moans. Your walls began to flutter around his fingers and a band felt like it was going to snap in your abdomen signaling that you were close.

“F-fuck, gonna cum…!” You squealed while your back arched higher off the bed. Jeongin placed his had that was still kneading your breast onto your neck and squeezed on either side.

“C’mon gimme that orgasm, baby,” The delicious pressure of him choking you sent you over the edge. Your eyes rolled back into your head as your body writhed from the force of your first release of the night.

“Mm so pretty when you cum for me,”he praised. You panted heavily, while Jeongin pulled his fingers from you and watched as your juices dripped from his digits down to his wrist. He brought his fingers to his mouth sucking them clean, moaning at the sweet taste of you. Now that he’s had a taste of you there was no going back.

After a few moments you had gotten your breathing mostly under control. Jeongin was still busy licking your cum from his fingers before you had roughly pushed him down onto the bed, straddling him once again.

“Wanna make you feel good too, Innie.” You whispered trailing kisses down his neck to his collarbone. His breathing hitched in his throat when you bit down on the flesh there. He looked down at you as you raised his shirt over his head. You admired his body while running a hand over his abs. He was so toned, you had no idea. You continued kissing down his chest and abs while your hands worked at undoing his jeans. You dipped your tongue into his belly button which sent a chill down his spine. Once, you finally got the zipper down you tugged off his pants and boxers in one go. His hard cock springing free and slapping against his stomach.

It looked heavy. Innie was well above average with equal parts length and girth. It even had a slight curve to the left. The tip of his cock was the same color as his lips and profusely leaking pre-cum. His dick was slightly darker than his skin tone around the base. Even his pubic hair was trimmed showing off his pretty smooth balls. You couldn’t help but marvel at the site of all of him exposed in front you.

“Like what you see?” He smirked with his hands behind his head. He knew damn well that he was good looking. This man was the definition of perfection.

“I more than like what I see,” you winked at him. His cock twitched at the thought of what that might mean.

You took Jeongin’s hard dick into your hand, swiping your thumb over his slit to collect the precum that beaded there. He sucked in a harsh breath at your movements watching you with eyes blown wide. You proceeded to spit on the tip letting it drip down the sides while stroking his shaft to make his cock slick. Brushing your hair out of your face, you leaned down pressing kisses all along the sides of it then licked from base to tip, following the vein on the underside of his dick. He reached a hand down to thread through your hair gently while you slowly took him into your mouth. You focused on licking and sucking the tip first, your tongue swirling around it as you hollowed your cheeks. You began bobbing your head back and forth making the grip he had in your hair tighten slightly. He was letting out deep groans that spurred you on, his symphony of noises being your encouragement. Soon, you added your hand back onto his shaft pumping whatever part of his dick you couldn’t fit in your mouth yet.

“Oh s-shit that feels good, princess.” He stammered. You looked up at him through your eyelashes to see his eyes squeezed shut, adam’s apple bobbing as he breathed heavily. You took that as an opportunity to push his cock deeper into your mouth, pushing him down your throat as you gagged helplessly around him. Tears welling up at your lash line as you closed your eyes for a second to focus on breathing through your nose before opening them again. Jeongin propped himself up on his elbow to watch you take him all the way in your mouth as his jaw went slack.

“Are you crying, baby? Fuck that’s so hot, crying while you’re choking on my cock like that.” He bit his bottom lip. You swear you could feel his cock twitch in your throat once he saw tears cascading down your cheeks.

He gathered your hair in a makeshift ponytail to keep you still before he started thrusting, face-fucking you. He thought the noises of you gagging and choking were so pretty, it only egged him on. You kept eye contact with him as he ravaged your throat mercilessly. Feeling drool dribbling from the corners of your mouth. More tears rolled down from your eyes. You moaned around his cock and the vibrations from that were all he needed to bust. He threw his head back with a long moan leaving his lips. Copious amounts of cum sliding easily down your throat. You swallowed all of it, not wanting to waste a single drop. You pulled your mouth off of his cock with an audible pop. Strings of saliva still connecting your mouth to his tip. He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip collecting some of the drool before bringing it up to his own mouth licking it off.

You don’t know why, but you blushed at the gesture. Of all the things you’ve done so far, this is when you decide to get shy?

Before you could get too lost in thought, Jeongin stood up from the bed and gently pushed up down on it. You landed with a slight bounce watching as the man approached you, still hard dick in hand.

“Turn over baby, I want that ass up for me.” He stated with a demanding tone in his voice. His eyes were dark with nothing but lust. You scrambled to fully kick off your soaked panties before switching to your front and propping yourself up on all fours. The bed dipped behind you as he kneeled into position. Your brain might have been buzzing from the heat of the moment and the alcohol from earlier but you still remembered to be safe.

“Umm, Innie. Can you put on a condom please?” You breathed out shyly.

“I don’t have one sweetheart… I’m sorry. I promise I’m clean.” He wouldn’t wear one anyway. Not with you, not when you were going to be his for the rest of your lives anyway.

“I’m clean too, but I’m not on birth control.”

Perfect. He thought to himself. Easier to trap you.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll pull out.” He lied, no he wouldn’t.

“Wait, I think I have one.” You leaned down over the side of your bed and pulled out a box that was tucked away. You opened the box and pulled out a condom, handing it back to your boyfriend. He took it from you with a tight-lipped smile. Jeongin waited for you to turn back around before pretending to open the condom. You got back into position and swayed your ass in front of him. God, you were going to be the death of him. After fumbling with the wrapper a couple more times to make it believable, he tossed the unused condom back behind your desk in the corner of your room. He made a mental note to go over to properly dispose of it later.

Jeongin grabbed his cock swiping the tip through your dripping wet slit a few times, teasing it at your entrance. He tapped his heavy cock over your pussy before lining up.

“You ready, Princess?” He asked, grabbing your hip with his free hand.

“Yes, Innie, please fuck me” You whined desperately.

Jeongin pressed his cock into your aching cunt only going in about halfway before stopping to let you adjust. He hissed through his teeth as your walls were clenching impossibly tight around him. You couldn’t help but let out a loud moan at the delicious stretch of his cock.

“Ah-hah, fuck baby you gotta relax a little bit, I don’t want to hurt you.” The hand that was on his cock reached in front of you to rub your clit in those slow circles he knew you liked.

“Nnng- so big…” you panted. He wasn’t even bottomed out in you yet and he could already tell your mind had gone euphoric.

After a couple more circles around your sensitive bundle of nerves your cunt relaxed a bit allowing him to move again. He slammed the rest of the way into your core figuring you had enough time to adjust. Your body jolted forward at the sudden intrusion, a scream threatening to rip from your throat. Jeongin granted you a few moments before he rolled his hips against your ass making his thick cock grind deeply into your warm pussy. You let out a string of angelic moans as he picked up the pace full on pumping his cock into you at this point. Your ass jiggled every time your bodies fully connected. The raunchy sounds of pure sex resounding off your walls.

“You like taking this cock don’t you, y/n?” He leaned down so he was whispering in your ear.

“Yes, fuck yes, love taking your cock!” You squeaked out as he landed a harsh smack on your ass. Jeongin pushed your front down to be flush with the pillows as he forcefully took both of your arms to pin your wrists behind your back making your arch deepen. The new position allowing him to fuck into your deeper, his cock repeatedly kissing your cervix. You bit down onto one of the pillows to try and somewhat quiet your moans so you wouldn’t get a noise complaint from your neighbors the next morning.

However, Jeongin had other ideas. He looked down to see where you two were connected. A creamy ring forming around the base of his cock from your cunt. His gaze then shifted to your other hole, it just begging for attention too. He gathered saliva in his mouth before spitting right on your puckered hole. This caused you to squeal in response. He let one of his hands go from your wrists as the other kept them in place on your lower back. His thumb rubbing in the makeshift lube before inserting it into your asshole. Jeongin felt your walls flutter around his cock as he pumped his thumb slowly.

“I know you like that, baby. Your body tells me. Fuck, such a dirty girl,” he sped up his thrusts to your pussy while hooking his thumb in place in your ass. You couldn’t deny it, you reveled in the feeling of Jeongin using both of your holes.

You let out a throaty moan as you felt that familiar feeling in your tummy building rapidly.

“J-Jeongin- cumming cumming!!” You screamed. One particularly harsh thrust had your legs shaking underneath you and your pussy clenching around his cock again.

“Mmf fuck yessss, cum for me,” the tightness enveloping his dick made his rhythm stutter spilling his hot seed deep into you.

If you hadn’t been so utterly fucked out you would have felt that his cum was filling you up.

Jeongin let go of your wrists completely and removed his thumb from your ass. Your legs finally giving out from under you making your body fall flat on the bed. Jeongin collapsed on top of you. Both of you trying hard to catch your breath. He moved before you did, removing his now softening cock from within you. His gaze stayed on your core for a bit to make sure you weren’t leaking any of his cum.

Hopefully this will take and she’ll get pregnant. He pondered.

After Jeongin was sure none was going to slip out he rubbed your back and shoulders.

“You did so well for me, y/n. Do you need anything, some water maybe?” He asked you in a warm voice. All you could do was nod.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” He kissed your shoulder before getting off the bed and looking for his black boxers to put back on then walked out to the kitchen. You made your way to curl up under your blankets as your body cooled down. The exhaustion of everything finally hitting you. Jeongin returned with a glass full of water encouraging you to drink the whole thing. When you finished he crawled into bed behind you and pulled you close. Your body fitting perfectly in his hold. Before you knew it you had fallen asleep.

“You’re going to be mine forever. I’ll make sure of it.” He whispered, careful not to wake you.

A few weeks later you were late. At first you didn’t worry about it thinking your cycle was only changing like it did every once in a while. But being more than 10 days late was abnormal for you.

There’s no way I’m pregnant.

You panicked immediately going to a pharmacy and buying a pregnancy test. Once you returned home you took it, anxiously waiting for the results. Five minutes had passed and you looked at the test. It was a strong positive. The test dropped from your hands and at your feet on the floor. But how? You and Jeongin have always been diligent about using protection (or so you thought). You had even been in the process of getting a prescription for birth control.

How am I going to tell Innie? What will he think?

You still felt too young to have kids. Maybe you would eventually, but definitely not now. You simply weren’t ready. Jeongin was going to come over later after he got off work, you’d tell him then.

About six hours later there was a knock at your door. You already knew it was your boyfriend, he always knocked a certain way. You opened the door to reveal the bright smile he wore. He held up a bag of food signaling he brought dinner. Jeongin gave you a chaste kiss then made his way inside setting the food on the table.

“Umm, Innie. I have something to tell you.” Your nerves were starting to get the better of you. What if he thought you had cheated on him?

“What’s up baby? You okay?” He caught on to your avoidance to look him in the eye causing his brows to furrow. You made your way into the bathroom where you kept the pregnancy test on the counter. You walked back out simply handing him the test without another word. Jeongin took the stick from your hand with a confused look on his face. He didn’t know what the hell he was looking at.

“It’s a pregnancy test…” you whispered. He looked at you in shock before looking back down at the test figuring out that it was positive.

“My baby is having my baby?!” He sounded.. happy?

“You aren’t mad?” Now it was your turn to be confused. Jeongin picked you up in a hug and spun you around then set you back down.

“No, of course not. I’m ecstatic!” He exclaimed.

There were so many questions you still had but for now you decided to enjoy the moment with Jeongin. If he was this excited about it then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Just a few months ago you were in a funk about not having someone special in your life, but now you couldn’t ask for anyone better to spend it with.

Jeongin had the most devilish smile on his face.

His plan worked perfectly. Now you’d really be his forever.

Do y'all think Innie would keep his socks on while fucking? It makes me laugh just thinking about it haha

Likes, comments, reblogs are much appreciated!

Taglist: @doitforbangchan

[sailor-aviator]

Road To Perdition: Prologue

Road to Perdition: Prologue

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: The Great Depression wasn't called a depression for nothing. Jobs were scarce, and the price of food and other necessities were rising higher and higher with each passing day. What little money you were able to make went straight to the bank and out of reach from your booze-swilling lech of a brother. It's on one such run that you come face to face with members of the infamous Dagger Gang; a group of, admittedly handsome, men who steal from the banks to hand it back out to the poor. You want nothing to do with them, but that blond-headed devil might just have something to say to the contrary. (1930s!Mobster!AU)

Content Warning: Mentions of alcohol, Allusions to alcoholism, Death of parents, Pessimism, Historical Inaccuracies probably. I think that's it, but please let me know if I missed something!

Word Count: Just under 1.2k

Series Masterlist

Light filtered through the sheer curtains, casting shadows across the walls as your eyes slowly fluttered open. There was a stillness in the air that was all too familiar for those that lived as far out of the city as you did, nestled in the trees that scattered the farmland surrounding your home. You heard the shrill chirping of the birds as you adjusted back to life in the waking world, stretching with a grunt as you glanced over at the clock sitting on your nightstand.

It was still early, something you both lamented and thanked the lord for. You had things to do today, things that would require you to sneak past your brother who had undoubtedly passed out on the couch once more after a night of drinking himself silly. He had been like that before your parents passed, one of the many things he and your father had in common.

It had been only a couple of years since your father died, leaving your brother his illegal business of moonshining - a business you had been a part of at one point before finding other means of making money. Your father hadn’t been too keen on the idea at first, always commenting on how you seemed to have a special touch with the liquor, earning you your nickname of Moonshine or Moonie for short.

He had accepted it in stride, though. Especially when he saw the amount of your first earnings as a part-time photographer for the local paper. The camera had been a gift from a family friend, having purchased it for his son who quickly let it fall to the wayside as other pursuits caught his interests.

“Shouldn’t go to waste,” he had said, handing it to you with a small smile on his usually stern face. “Here, Moonie. You should have it.”

You had felt wrong taking it at first, but the feeling quickly left you once you held your first photo in your hand, your brother having saved up enough to set up a makeshift room for you to develop them in. That was before he started sampling his own product, of course.

“These are really good, Moonie!” Jack had grinned as he held a particularly stunning shot of a doe you had encountered in the back field one morning. She had turned to face you, and that’s when you had taken the shot, just before she ran back into the safety of the woods. You were particularly proud of that shot, but you ducked your head down in humility.

“They’re not that good,” you mumbled shyly.

You smiled wistfully at the memory before letting out a sigh as you pulled yourself up out of the comfort of your bed. You were quick to tidy up, fluffing the pillows before marching down the hall towards the bathroom. The sound of snoring echoed from your brother’s room, and you snorted in surprise at the change, but continued on.

After relieving yourself, you washed up, grimacing at your reflection in the mirror. Most girls your age had a whole counter full of makeup, but you simply couldn’t see the need for it, or justify it for that matter. No, you were saving up what little you could to make your escape. You weren’t sure where you’d go yet. New York perhaps? You’d heard there was always an opportunity for someone there. The thought of making your way in the growing city sent your stomach fluttering, and you clapped your hands against your cheeks to settle your mind.

There was no time for daydreaming. You had to focus on the task at hand. You were able to squirrel some of your earnings away from your brother’s greedy hands, and you made weekly deposits into a private bank account. People had been weary of the banks since the crash a few years back, but you trusted them more than your snooping older brother. Work had been hard for people to come by, but people were always looking for a photographer. So for now, non-essentials like makeup would have to wait.

You dressed quickly, double checking to make sure your camera was tucked away in your messenger back alongside your rainy day fund, and set out only to stop short at the sight of the living room.

Bottles were strewn all about the place along with cards scattered alongside them. Letting out a heavy sigh, you dropped your bag down onto one of the chairs as you set about cleaning the place up. You were surprised that the noise of what was surely many men hadn’t woken you up. You had had a long day, though. The fresh wad of bills sitting in your bag proof of that.

The bottles clanked together as you gathered up as many as you could, taking them out to be washed later. Coming back inside, you glanced over to observe the state of the kitchen, the sight having a growl leaving your throat before you could stop it. Plates were stacked high in the sink, and you knew you’d have to take care of them now lest they stink up the place for the rest of the day. The last thing you needed to deal with was unwanted pests in your home.

You actually enjoyed doing the dishes, if you were being honest. It was time to let your mind wander, plotting your way out without being disturbed. No one wanted to be drawn in to helping, of course. So you washed and scrubbed in silence as the noise outside picked up with the late morning. You wouldn’t get to the bank until this afternoon, at this rate. That left little time to go snooping for your next lead, which left you more irritated than before.

You drained the sink once you were done, wiping your hands with the dishcloth with a grimace. You’d have to do laundry tomorrow. Another chore left for you to take care of.

Perhaps you wouldn’t be so quick to want to leave if it wasn’t only you holding this place together. Your brother had been your rock once upon a time, but then your mother had passed due to illness and your father followed her not long after. Of course, you had been devastated, but you took it upon yourself to be the strong one after Jack fell apart. He started drinking then. It had only been one here or there, but it quickly grew into several bottles a night, and no amount of begging would get him to stop. So you quit trying.

It had come to a head only a year ago when you came home early to find your room tossed upside down, anything of value missing along with Jack. It was a week before he came home.

You had learned your lesson, and now you bided your time until you could withdraw your money and make a break for it. The sun shone down on you as you began the trek into town, dreaming of the day you would make this journey for the last time.

A/N: Just something to tide you guys over until I can formulate the next chapters of By Its Cover and Fool's Fare. I'm excited for this one though!

If you would like to receive notifications on when I post, please follow my sideblog ( @sailoraviator-library ) and turn on post notifications! As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. You can find all of my works on AO3 under the username sailor_aviator. Until next time!

[electrosair]

You faint in front of them

english isn’t my first language, sorry for mistakes

characters: cyno + tighnari + thoma (separate) it's only fluff I think but just in case tw(?: the reader faints (let me know if there's something else)

word count: 1k (300 per each approx.)

Cyno

The heat left marks all over our bodies, while Cyno seemed relaxed and with a steady pace, I could not help wiggling my limbs to peel off the fabric of my clothes. My breathing was barely level as my legs trembled with each step on the great dunes of the Sumeru desert. The beads of sweat trickling down my forehead were beginning to feel cold and my vision was blurring. "Cyno…" I tried to call out to him in a whisper. The air from the nearby sandstorm was carrying me away and I felt like there was nothing I could do to stop it. My eyelids grew heavier and heavier, as did my body.

The boy heard the small call of his name in the distance, a few feet behind him.

He turned around expecting a complaint from you How much further to go?, It's too hot, My legs hurt, but none of that came, all he could see was your body collapsing on the sand.

Cyno ran towards you and threw his spear anywhere, the first thing was to get you under shelter.

He guessed you had a sunstroke or something like that, he had seen it more than once in his expeditions in the desert, he was prepared for it.

I opened my eyes, seeing above me a blue-hued tent, was I in a Fatui camp? I tried to rise abruptly but a hand rested on my arm. "Relax, I'm here." Cyno's form appeared at my left side, holding a wet cloth. "Stay still, there's no need to get upset. I'm done with all those merchants, they weren't going with good intentions after all." He bent down and rested his lips on my head, if I wasn't red before, this made me red. "I think you need more rest, I'll stay outside standing guard." His spear resting on some crates was taken and he gave me one last look before leaving. "Thanks for everything, Cyno."

Tighnari

My desk was full of papers and documents about the flora of Sumeru, the scholars asked me for a small paper for some experiments being conducted at the academy and I didn't know how to refuse. The hours I had spent sitting and writing became too much even for me, a passionate ranger. The curtains of my cabin opened, letting in the moonlight, the last time I looked the sun was at its highest point. "I brought your dinner, have you even had your lunch?" Tighnari's voice distracted me from the mountain of scribbled papers that only seconds ago my head was buried in. "You didn't need to, what time is it?" "Around eleven, I thought it was strange not seeing you leave here, even when Collei came back from the expedition." He set the plate down on my nightstand and walked over to me "Come on, get up. I'll talk to the scholars." I pushed the chair away from the desk and stood up, a strong feeling of dizziness hit me and I grabbed the boy's arm.

He was surprised to see you fall on him, but tried to act as relaxed as possible.

Tighnari laid you down on the bed and went to get a canteen so you could have something to drink when you woke up.

He sat in the chair, worried that something too bad might have happened to you. He thought he shouldn't have taken you to clean up withered areas or given you small jobs when he knew how busy you had been these days.

His hands went through the papers and books you had studied, reading everything and leaving little notes on the most important parts or mistakes you might have made.

The sound of chirping jungle birds woke me up, the hunger and thirst I had reminded me of Tighnari's unexpected visit the night before. I looked around, seeing the dinner plate he brought along with a bottle. Farther away, with his arms crossed and eyes closed, was he, sleeping in a not very comfortable posture. My features melted at the thought of how worried he must have been to spend the whole night here, taking care of me.

Thoma

After spending a nice afternoon with Thoma at the Komore tea house, he decided that we could play his wonderful game of picking out strange foods. Was that a good idea? No. The bad taste in my mouth after several retches from the mixture that had formed in the casserole didn't help and the sight I had of the meals being stirred by Thoma didn't help either. "I can't take it anymore, I'm going to throw up…" "Are you feeling okay?" he immediately put down the spoon and rested his hand on mine. "You're getting pale" The room became more and more distorted as the seconds passed, which became eternal in my eyes, and in less than a minute my brain stopped working.

When Thoma saw you collapse beside him he laid you down on the softest surface he could find. Placing a cushion or anything of the sort over your head and feet.

He ran to get a damp cloth and lay it gently on your forehead.

After all, he tried his best to make you feel good once you woke up, he felt in a way that it was his fault.

Thoma checked several times if you had already woken up, and if the answer to his little inquiry about you was negative he took care to see if everything was still in order, wet cloth, well placed cushions and a comfortable position for you.

The sensation of moisture on my head woke me up, bringing my hand there instinctively. "Are you okay?" The whisper of Thoma's voice brought me back to what had happened. "Yes… I think, better than before" "I'm glad to hear that, I brought you an infusion to ease the pain in your gut, is that what happened, right?" I nodded gently, not wanting a headache back. He held the cup up to me, helping me take little gulps.

[bqstqnbruin]

Drunk Texts

Me? With another fic? This fast? Ground breaking.

Anyway, this has been sitting in my google drive for way too long and I finally finished it. It's inspired by Drunk Texts by New Rules.

Thank you to my besties @kat-hearts @raysofcrosby @matthewtkachuk and @assmanselke for reading this, but they have no idea what the ending is so hahahaha

If there are typos, I'm so sorry, Grammarly is being weird

Warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol consumption, swearing, the ending

WC: 5k ish

Flashbacks are in italics

_______________________________________

The sun was up, there was a bird outside his window happily chirping, the city below his apartment was alive and bustling on the beautiful late summer day.

Anthony felt like he wanted to die.

He couldn’t remember having a worse hangover, trying to wrack the usable part of his brain to figure out if he had anything besides alcohol the night before. He was pretty sure he had at least one glass of water, thinking he had maybe a bite of food but that proved to be way too little to counteract what was probably a bottle or two of wine and whatever else his teammates had given to him to drink last night. 

He sat up from bed, his head pounding as he rubbed his eyes and searched for his phone, haphazardly on his nightstand under what he could only hope was his own underwear and not someone else's. If some other guys boxers were there, Anthony knew he had more than one problem to deal with. 

It was the same thing every single time he went drinking after a bad night, his room and probably the rest of his apartment left in a disaster, but the worst part were the drunk texts he knew were sent by him the night before. Drunk texts sent by anyone were horrible, incoherent and easy to blame on being inebriated, but his were always exceptionally bad. 

Anthony got out of bed, his head pounding with every movement he made. He knew he had to check his phone at some point. Delaying it any longer would just lead to more issues with his life later on.

The one person he hoped he hadn’t texted was right at the top of his messages, a message that somehow combined French, English, and absolute gibberish into one text, undoubtedly from him, showing up in the preview. 

He tapped the messages with Scarlett, the last girl he dated, and still couldn’t get out of his head. She was, unfortunately, used to his drunk or stupid texts, Anthony unable to form a proper thought when it came to her.

‘I like you’ was the only text he could decipher at first glance, an “oh fuck,” escaping his lips while he tried to piece together why his teammates would let him not only drink so much, but keep his phone on him the entire time. 

“Who is that over there?” Anthony asked, staring at the girl with long, dark hair, talking to one of his new teammates. 

“Uh, that’s Quinn,” Brock said, “your teammate.”

“No, the girl he’s somehow talking to,” Anthony replied.

“Not sure, I normally see Quinn with her when we come here, though. She always shows up when Quinn texts her,” Brock shrugged, “I think her name is Sarah? Sage?”

So she probably likes Quinn then, if she’s showing up when he asks. He shakes his head, “You only know that her name maybe starts with an S, don’t you?”

“Yep.” 

Anthony sighed, trying to take in the girl Quinn was talking to. He swore he had seen her before, something about her trying to work its way through his memory. 

“Go talk to her.” 

“What?” he asked, looking at his teammate.

“I promise you that Quinn does not have enough in him to pull a girl like that.” 

“Isn’t he one of your best friends?” 

“Yes, that’s why I can say it. Now, go.” Brock practically had to shove Anthony away from the table. 

Anthony stood there frozen, staring at Quinn and this girl while his mind went a mile a minute as to how he was going to talk to her. ‘This is ridiculous,’ he thought to himself, ‘she’s just a girl, talking to Quinn. If Quinn can talk to her, so can I.’

He felt his entire body shaking under the weight of himself as he tried to make his way over to the girl and Quinn. He could just tell Quinn he wanted to buy him a drink, celebrate the win they had the other night, something, anything. 

“Hey, Tito,” Quinn called out, pulling Anthony from his thoughts. Quinn and the girl were staring at him, the heat rushing to his face as she smiled at him. “This is Scarlett.” 

Anthony knew he had to speak. She was staring at him. She was smiling at him. She was clearly waiting for him to say something to her, but all functions that his body possessed suddenly stopped, including the one where he was able to get out something as simple as, “hi.” 

“Um,” Scarlett started, Quinn standing to the side laughing at his teammate, “Quinn tells me you just moved here from New York?” 

“L-long Island, um, yeah,” he managed to get out, starting to think of all the ways he wanted to disappear into the Canadian wilderness out of embarrassment. 

“What’s it like there? What’s there to do?” she asked him, Quinn slowly inching away from them. 

“Uh, leave.” As soon as the words left his lips, he shut his eyes, hoping that when he opened them, he would discover that the stupid things he said didn’t happen and were just a dream. He opened his eyes to see Scarlett biting her lip, trying not to laugh at him. 

She took a sip of her drink, not breaking eye contact and making Anthony’s heart skip in the process. “You’re either way too drunk to be talking to someone right now, or I, for some reason, make you really nervous.” 

Anthony lets out a sigh, a smile on his face. “What if I told you it was both?” 

There was something about the laugh that escaped her lips after he told her that that made him forget everything. He swore he blacked out while talking to her, but not from the alcohol. He had never felt more sober than that first time he met her. He remembered nothing about that night except the way her eyes lit up when she smiled, a crooked smile spreading across her face when she was flirting with him, the way he knew heat was rushing to her face, probably from the second hand embarrassment of him attempting to flirt back. 

“So, you and that girl looked pretty cozy last night,” Brock teased him the next morning after practice. None of them had been particularly happy that they were called for last minute drills, all of them sweating the alcohol from the night before more than anything else. 

“Are you in love?” Quinn teased, his voice dripping with that pre-teen gooeyness that got under Anthony’s skin.

“I just met her,” he started.

“Love at first sight exists, my friend,” Elias joins in, hitting Anthony hard enough on his back that he nearly fell out of his stall. 

“Dear god, I need to go back to New York,” Anthony groans, drowned out by the sounds of his teammates laughing. 

“There’s no way Long Island is better than here,” they kept going.

“We called it the ‘God forsaken island,’ growing up,” Quinn added, the guys laughing even harder as they continued to rib Anthony. 

“I liked you all better when you didn’t know me.” 

“You know we like you better when we make fun of you,” Elias tried to reassure him. “Have you at least talked to her since last night?”

“How would I do that?”

“You got her number?” Quinn questioned. 

Anthony tried to think back to the night before, failing to remember anything past his initial meeting with Scarlett and the absolute fear that he felt trying to talk to her in those first few minutes. “When did that happen?”

“Right after the eighth green tea shot.”

“You let me have eight?” 

“Scarlett kept buying. I wasn’t going to argue with her,” Quinn said, holding his hands up in defense. “We tried to get you to stop, but after the third one, you threatened to pour them all over Brock.���

“Yeah, I wasn’t going to let you get my white shirt dirty.”

“God forbid you get your five dollar Walmart shirt a little dirty with some alcohol.”

“Hey, no-”

“Guys!” Anthony finally cut in, his teammates all turning to look at him. “I don’t have her number.”

“Have you looked at your phone since last night?”

“Only to turn off my alarm when it was still on ‘do not disturb.’”

“Scarlett a hundred percent has texted you already if you haven’t texted her. She’s not one to wait for days for a guy to reach out to her,” Quinn told him. 

“I don’t think I like that you know so much about her,” Anthony mumbled.

“I met her the first weekend I was here my rookie year and she somehow has appeared in my life every weekend since. Check your phone.” 

The guys start to file out and head home, Anthony and Quinn sitting there by themselves. Anthony didn’t even know what he would say to her. How does he start a conversation with a girl he barely knows, who he was too nervous to talk to the night before? 

“You make her sound like a stalker,” Anthony sighed, trying to search for his phone. 

“I’ve known her for years and she hasn’t stalked anyone.”

“That you know of.”

“You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.”

“And that is the closest to being Gretzky that you’ll ever be.”

“Just check your phone. You were babbling like a dumbass the second you met her. I haven’t known you for as long as I’ve known her, but I definitely know you well enough that you don’t act like that around girls. Ever.” 

Quinn finally got up to head home, leaving Anthony alone in their locker room to do as he pleased. 

Anthony sat back in his stall, letting his head hit the back and getting engulfed in his clothing hanging behind him. What would he even text her? Is it too soon to text her? How could he send anything that would be good enough for her to want to respond?

He finally pulled out his phone to start going through his notifications. News from around the league, random DMs from people on Instagram, a text from his mom that he would forget to respond to until after she was asleep for the night, and a message from someone with just an emoji as their contact. It was the blushing emoji, Anthony remembering Scarlett telling him that her friends called her ‘Scar,’ and that was the first emoji that popped up when someone tried to search for her name. 

‘So how often do you get a girl's number and not text them back after that night?’

Anthony couldn’t figure out if the banging was just the throbbing headache he had or someone actually at his door. 

“What the fuck could you possibly be doing here this early?” he groaned at his teammates standing at this door. 

“It’s 2 pm,” Quinn says, pushing his way into Anthony’s apartment without an invite, coffees and bags of food in hand.

  “It was either us doing the wellness check or the police,” Brock adds, flopping down on the couch and sending Anthony’s phone on to the floor. 

“I don’t trust them to drive safely anywhere after they’ve spent the night drinking, so I had to come, unfortunately,” Elias tells Anthony, picking up his phone off the ground and handing it to him. “Has that girl texted you back yet?” 

Anthony’s head whipped up in shock. He really had no memory of last night. “Girl?” 

“Yeah, you know, those who identify with she and her pronouns?” Quinn says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Can you be a girl and not use those pronouns?” Brock asks while chomping on a bagel. 

“Very important questions for a later time, please,” Anthony interrupts, trying to look through his contacts to see if there was any name he didn’t recognize. “What girl?”

“You don’t remember?”

Anthony sat on the couch next to Brock, throwing his head back and letting out a guttural sigh. “Why would I remember anything from last night? That would make my life so much easier, and obviously, we can’t have that.” There was no way he could meet a girl and not remember her, right? There was no way he could possibly have drank that much alcohol to the point where he blacked out if he was with his teammates. 

“Not your usual type, but still pretty.” 

“She was hitting on Quinn first.”

“She was not.”

“She only stopped because you’re too dense to realize when someone is hitting on you.” 

“You could have had a relationship for the last five years if you picked up on that girl in the coffee shop.”

“That’s-” “Hello?” Anthony interrupts his teammates. “We were talking about me?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Brock says. “You really don’t remember the girl who bought you like four of the drinks you had?” 

‘ ‘What are you doing today?’ came up on Anthony’s phone from an unknown number. 

Scarlett had called him immediately after he sent his text to make sure he was ok. “Ti,” came through his speaker, the nickname she called him that made his heart race for no reason. “It’s two in the morning, what do you mean what am I doing today?” 

“I want to see you today,” Anthony slurred, drunk from his night with his teammates after winning the first round of the playoffs. 

“Only if you promise to get some water right now,” she giggled. “You know you forget to hydrate when you’re celebrating.” 

“Come out with us. I want to see you.” 

“I am in bed already,” she said, hearing Anthony let out a drunken groan. “I’m going to be helping Brooke at her street fair stand in the afternoon, I can meet you after that for you to take me on a date then.” 

“I want to take you out now,” he whined. 

“Dinner tomorrow at your favorite restaurant. You’ll pay.”

“I’ll pay.” 

Scarlett hung up before Anthony could say anything else.

The next morning, he woke up on Quinn’s couch, Elias sitting on the chair, Brock on the floor for who knows what reason. He didn’t even remember getting back to Quinn’s apartment, let alone how he ended up on the couch. 

“Why are we here?” Anthony asked, no one in particular.  

“I was the most sober of the four of us,” he heard Quinn yell from the kitchen. 

Following his teammates' voice, he attempted to get up, a pounding headache nearly knocking him off his feet. “How did that happen?”

“I’m not sure, but I fucking hated it,” Quinn mumbled. “Even Elias threw up four times last night.” 

“It might be five times soon,” Elias said, stumbling into the kitchen behind Anthony. 

“Good morning sunshines,” Brock yelled, groans coming from all three guys in the kitchen. “What’s everyone doing today after we get breakfast together?”

“Plotting your murder,” Elias muttered massaging his head with his fingers as if he were trying to will the hangover away through that method.

“At least wait till our season is done for that.”

“I think I’m seeing Scarlett,” Anthony said, trying to remember if his conversion with her the night before was real or not. 

Quinn hands out cups of coffee, a confused look on his face. “Like, you’re seeing her right now? In the room with us?”

“What’s it like having two brain cells that constantly have to fight for third place?” Anthony groaned, “No, you dumbass, I mean tonight. I’m seeing her tonight.”

“You’re finally going to see her somewhere that isn’t a bar and in a state that isn’t halfway fucked?” 

“I actually think I’m going to join Elias in murdering you,” Anthony countered. 

“You can’t hang out with Scarlett if you’re in jail for murdering me.” 

“What are you going to do with her today?” Elias asked, changing the subject. 

“I have no idea. I might be paying for whatever it is we do, though.” 

Anthony spent the rest of the morning getting annoyed at his teammates as they teased him, calling him a simp for Scarlett when he had only interacted with her in person while they were both drunk. They hadn’t even been on a real date yet. Scarlett telling him to take her out that night was going to be their first. 

“Look, I need to impress her,” he cuts them off after they get back to Quinn’s place. “So either you are all going to help me figure out how I do that, or I’m going to put in for a trade request in the off season.” 

The four of them managed to put together a plan that didn’t make Tito want to kill them. The first step was to go to Prototype, her favorite coffee shop in the city, and getting drinks for her and Brooke and surprising them at Brooke’s street fair. He had their orders saved in his phone for god only knows what reason, but he knew they would come in handy at some point. 

“We should come, too,” Quinn said, grabbing his stuff to follow Anthony out the door. 

“You should not,” Anthony protested. 

“We want to see what you’re like out of your natural habitat,” Brock teased.

“What the ever living fuck does that mean?”

“I think it means they want to see you try to flirt with her when you’re sober,” Elias translated.

“No. Nope. You three are not coming.” 

“You don’t have a car to get yourself anywhere and you still don’t know how to navigate the public transit system here.” 

“Fuck.” 

Anthony reluctantly let his teammates take him where he needed to go, hoping that he could lose them at the massive street fair that Brooke and Scarlett were working. Thankfully, his teammates had the attention span of squirrels, soon veering off from him and leaving him to wander with a tray of three drinks, hoping to impress the girl he desperately wanted to see sooner than that night. 

“Ti?” he heard from behind him. “Anthony, what are you doing here?”

He turned to see Scarlett walking up to him from across a sea of people, her smile alone making him lose all brain function. He should have known she would have the same effect on him sober as she did when he was drunk. “I, um,” he started, trying to remember what his reasoning for being there even was to begin with. Why did he have to see her so early when all she did was make him freak out in the best way possible? “I brought you coffee.”

He practically spilled it down the front of her by shoving it into her chest. “Um, thank you?”

“And for Brooke, too.” 

“Oh! You haven’t even met her yet?” 

“You told me that you two have the same favorite coffee order from Prototype, so I just got two of them,” he told her, feeling his cheeks turn bright pink. 

She gave him a soft smile, clearly impressed that he would remember not only her order, just her best friends, no matter how simple they were. “I knew you were a good one.” 

“Do you want us to text her?” Brock asks, craning his neck to try to read over Anthony’’s shoulder at his phone. 

“We can tell her you’re a good one,” Elias offers, the first hint of sincerity coming through his voice that none of his other teammates had shown to him all night. 

“Or that you’re bad,” Quinn draws out. 

“I’m not a thirteen year old boy trying to text his middle school crush, Jesus Christ.” 

“Tell her you’re like him,” Quinn adds. 

“You’re Jewish, I thought you don’t believe in him,” Elias asks. 

“Well, yeah, but he was still a historical figure. We just don’t believe the religious aspect that-”

“Hey!” Anthony interrupts, again. “Am I just here as comic relief?”

“You have to be funny to be considered that.”

“Ok, I’m leaving,” Anthony gets up from the couch, only to be pulled back down by Brock.

“We’re teasing you. You know this. And we’re in your apartment, where are you going to go?” 

“What do I do?” Anthony groans, throwing his head back with his hands over his eyes. 

“Text her back or ignore her.” 

“No, I mean,” he groans again, “I texted Scarlett last night.” Much to his surprise, he’s met with silence from his friends for the first time that morning. “That’s what shuts you up?”

The three of them exchange worried glances, making Anthony’s heart race and head throb even more than the hangover already had. He knew drinking anything was going to make him do something stupid. He just didn’t think his teammates would also agree. 

He handed them his phone, letting them see the string of stupidity from the night before. 

“There’s no way you texted her all of this,” Brock said.

“You can literally see the texts on his screen,” Elias groans. 

“God, you’re an idiot,” Scarlett told him between kissing him, one hand on the back of his neck pulling him towards her, the other on his guiding it towards her waist. 

Anthony didn’t know what to say as he felt every inch of her, pulling her back towards his bed. He sat down, his lips still connected to hers. Scarlett straddled his waist, her fingers gracing the hem of his shirt.

‘God, this has to be perfect,’ raced through Anthony’s mind, every other thought that wasn’t about Scarlett unable to break through his brain. His heart started racing as the two of them took off his shirt, fiddling with hers next to slip it off over her head, Anthony wanting nothing more than for his lips to be back on hers as fast as possible. 

He moved her off his lap, gently pushing her onto her back. He took a moment, both of them catching their breath while Anthony’s heart continued to race. “Wow,” he let out, Scarlett giggling at him. “You are just.” He couldn’t find the words to describe who she was, his mind still blank from anything other than her name. 

“Do you want to…” she asked, drifting off, her eyes traveling down his body. 

“Oh, god, yes.” Anthony said, crashing his lips to hers, feeling her smile against his.

‘This has to be perfect,’ kept running through Anthony’s head as they stripped more of what they were wearing, piece by piece. ‘She’s perfect so this has to be perfect.’

 She was ready. He could feel she was ready. But Anthony?

“Hey, hey, wait,” she stopped him. “Are you ok?”

He hung his head down, her hands pushing his hair back off his face. “I’m so sorry.” 

“We can stop, if you want to,” her voice came out small, clearly upset. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, rolling off her, unable to look at her. The two of them lied there in silence, a long pause that made Anthony more anxious by the second. 

“Are we ok?” Scarlett asked, finally breaking the silence. 

Anthony stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to say. “Yes?”

He heard her sigh, getting up to put her clothes back on. “Let me know when you’re sure,” she said to him, leaving his room. 

As soon as he heard his front door shut, he covered his face with his hands, letting out a deep groan. He wanted it to be perfect. He had been trying so hard to make everything for her as perfect as he was able to make it. Why the fuck did he have to get into his head like that. 

Anthony reached for his phone, pulling up the group chat with his teammates. ‘Who can come here ASAP?’ he sent, putting his phone back on his nightstand without even waiting for an answer, rolling over immediately and pulling his sheets over his face. 

Anthony didn’t know how long he had been asleep, hearing his front door open while he was still in his bed, his clothing strewn across his floor. 

“Tito, where are you?” he heard Elias’s voice carry through his place.

“Fuck,” he muttered, throwing himself out of bed to try to find something resembling pants before they could make it to his bedroom. 

“Tit-oh.” Quinn said, bursting through his bedroom door before he could fully get his sweatpants on. “Guys I found him.” “Jesus, Quinn,” Anthony said, nearly falling over. “You couldn’t wait?”

“Had to make sure you weren’t dead,” Brock said, spraying a mouth full of crumbs of who knows what everywhere, Elias following him with an annoyed expression. “We thought you were with Scarlett tonight.”

“He clearly was,” Elias said, gesturing to the mess that was his bedroom at the moment. 

“So what, you finished, she left, and your first thought was to call us?” Quinn asked, plopping down on Anthony’s bed, Brock following suit. 

Elias and Anthony took the floor, his three teammates trying to read the expression on his face. “No, I didn’t finish.” 

“With Scarlett?”

“I didn’t even,” Anthony started, putting his face back in his hands. “I didn’t even start.”

“Oh,” was all he heard from Elias, Brock and Quinn both silent for once. “We thought you really liked her?”

“God, yes, I do,” Anthony said. “This was supposed to be the first time we slept together and I fucked it up.” 

“That happens,” Elias shrugged. 

“It’s not even just that. She asked if we were ok and I couldn’t answer her.” 

“Why would you do that?” Quinn asked.

“I panicked. I’ve been panicking. Since the first time I saw her, I have been freaking out because she deserves more than what I can give her, and it fucks me up,” he let out, surprised he was even able to put anything into words. “I mean, Brock, you had to physically push me to her because I was frozen. Quinn stood there when I couldn’t even talk to her. We were all here the night I freaked out because I didn’t know how to text her, or what to do for our first date. I have been out of my mind about her since the second I saw her, and because of that I have fucked up so badly, I don’t know if she wants to see me ever again.” 

“Ok, you told her last night you wanted to see her,” Brock reads out. 

“When was the last time you saw her?”

“That night she left my apartment when we tried to…” Anthony trails off, not really wanting to recount the night again.

“What about the last time that you talked to her?” Quinn asks, handing Anthony his phone back. 

“She had called me one night after a game a few days later to say that she was sorry she left that night the way she did but she was upset that I didn’t have an answer for her.” 

“And?”

“And we talked it out, I thought we were fine, she said we would talk later, and neither of us reached out again.” 

“So you both ghosted each other until you sent her a bunch of drunk texts last night,” Quinn says.

Anthony groans, throwing his head back again. “Fuck, yes, Quinn. What do I do?”

“Well she hasn’t answered yet, so she either hasn’t seen it or also doesn’t know what to do.” 

“At least start with telling her you were drunk and that you’re sorry you sent all of those  texts,” Elias suggests. 

“Or we go over to her place and you ask her yourself.” The three of them look at Brock, Quinn, and Elias liking the idea, Anthony absolutely mortified. “I mean, you haven’t seen her in a while, you haven’t talked to her in a while, and drunk you clearly wanted to change that last night.”

“What about sober you, right now?” Quinn asks.

“Hungover me,” Anthony corrects, “Wants to go to bed until sober me reappears.” 

“Well that won’t be until tomorrow,” Brock points out, “So what would sober you want to do?”

Anthony smiles, his teammates knowing what he wants to do, what he’s wanted to do since that first night at the bar.

“I’ve got the keys,” Elias says, the four of them rushing out the door. 

Anthony felt his heart racing as Elias drove through the city, surprised he even knew where Scarlett’s building was. By the time he pulled up, his palms were soaked, his throat was dry, his legs anxiously unable to stop shaking. The guys had to practically throw him out the door, Anthony having no idea what the hell he was going to say. 

He managed to get up to her apartment, thankful that he was well known enough that the doorperson let him in, worried that the security was loose enough that they just let him in at the same time. He knocked on her door, finally starting to calm down as he waited for her. 

Anthony didn’t hear any movement in her apartment, knocking again after waiting for what felt like forever. He felt his phone buzz, a text in the group chat asking how it was going from Quinn, immediately followed up by Elias scolding him. 

He knocked a third time, hoping that she would answer. 

She wasn’t there. That, or she was ignoring whoever was at the door, given that he was showing up unannounced. 

He turns back around, heading back down to Elias’s car, letting them know he was waiting for the elevator. 

The door opened, Anthony moving to the side to let the person already there off while reading the texts that were flooding in from his teammates. 

“Anthony?” he hears, forcing him to look up from his phone.

“Scarlett,” he lets out, both of them smiling at each other. 

[cleoluvrr]

The Last Days of Summer XIX (Rafe Cameron x Heyward!OC)

Warnings: violence, underage drinking, drug use, verbal abuse, jealousy, forbidden relationship, enemies to lovers, kidnapping, gaslighting + manipulation

Synopsis: Stuck in a situation she never dreamed of, Neriah Heyward blurs the line between Kook and Pogue; Rafe Cameron a witness.

masterlist

word count: 8.2k+

↠━ღ◆ღ━↞

“Get up.” Rafe says as he bursts into the bedroom without any notice. 

My head jerked up from its limp position, the intrusion interrupting the deeply unsatisfying sleep I barely got. I was kept up all night tossing and turning, mind racing with exactly what you think a person that was slowly going insane would think about. I had fallen asleep when the sun began to rise, the light blue sky peeking through balcony doors being the last thing I saw before my body forced my heavy eyes shut.

Groggily, I sit up in the bed, bones cracking with every movement from their lack of use. The alarm clock on the nightstand read ‘11:15 AM’ and the sun was shining directly into my face from the balcony. I could hear the birds chirping loudly, the normally soothing sound only leaving me agitated from the little sleep I could grab.

“I said get up.” 

Rafe exits the closet that I never saw him cross the room to enter, right hand fiddling with the expensive gold watch decorating the opposite wrist. 

Walking over to my side of the bed, he rips off the comforter I used to cover my head. The cold air of the air conditioned room blasts my body as my hideaway is taken, bare skin of my arms and legs exposed. Rafe throws the white duvet to the floor and looms over my lifeless body.

“What the hell is your problem?” I rasp out, too tired to put effort into properly speaking. Turning over onto my back I stare up at the blonde with a look I can only describe as vexation personified. 

“Get dressed.” Rafe says. His arms flex in the white button-down he’s dressed himself in, sleeves rolled up to the elbows and the few buttons he had done leaving his chest exposed. My eyes travel down to his bottom half briefly to take in the beige linen slacks before flickering back to meet his gaze. “Wear something nice.”

My head lazily flops to the side to stare at the closed door of the closet. I don’t know what he means by “nice,” but I definitely don’t have that in my limited wardrobe. Had I known I was going to be swept away in the night to live on an island I’d never heard of beforehand, maybe I would have packed heavier. 

I turn back to stare blankly at the man standing above me impatiently, arm lifting off my stomach to point at the closet limply. His brows tick up in question, eyes barely landing where my finger guides them before returning them to my face. 

“I don’t have clothes, Rafe.” I point out. “If I knew I was gonna be gone for an indefinite amount of time then maybe I would be more prepared. Thank you for that, by the way.”

Rafe rolls his eyes at me before they turn their attention to his watch. Sighing, he walks over to the closet and yanks it open. His arm moves from his side to gesture me inside, a tight smile grazing his lips. 

Groaning loudly and dramatically I drag myself out of the bed and take a few long strides over to join him. He prompts me to enter again and I do, the blonde following close behind me. I almost throw up when I see what’s on my side of the closet, the absolute clicheness of it all making me want to gag.

The racks held a colorful array of clothes I had never seen in my life, the new garments mixing in with the items I already owned. The shelves lining the bottom held shoes fitting for the weather, a collection of mules and sneakers that I’m sure I could never afford on my own. I feel Rafe watching me as I survey the state of the closet silently, clearly waiting for my reaction.

“Rafe…” My voice is a release of air from the depths of my body, eyes shutting tiredly as the sigh resonates throughout the medium-sized space.

What kind of life am I living? 

I date a guy from the other side of the island, one that I probably should have never been around in the first place, he whisks me away to an island paradise that feels more similar to a prison than anything else, and fills a closet with a new wardrobe to make up for the fact that I had no clothes. It felt like a badly written book that a fifteen-year-old girl would fawn over.

I doubt he thought I would do any such thing, in fact, I’m sure he thought quite the opposite. So the closet that was once bare and now rivals my own back home only leaves me feeling puzzled.

“Why would you do that?” I ask. He’s leaning against the doorframe silently, feet crossed over each other as he takes in my reaction. He shrugs in response, shoulders hiking up just an inch before dropping into their relaxed position.

“You said you had no clothes. So, I bought you clothes.” He says matter-of-factly. I squint at him as he claps his hands together loudly, fingers locking his hands together. He wears a bright smile, though I can’t tell if it’s genuine or sarcastic anymore. “You’re welcome.”

My eyes remain squinted as I stare at him wordlessly, brows drawn tightly together. I dropped the sleeve of a white shirt I had grabbed when I saw it, hands falling to rest on my hips in irritation.

“I thought I told you to not buy me things.” I say exasperatedly.

His eyes travel down my body when he processes what I said. I feel the hairs stand up on my skin as he does it, the night shorts I wore feeling way shorter than I remember as his eyes linger on my legs and the lack of bra seeming much more obvious as his gaze moves to my tank top clad top half. I don’t react to his blatant ogling, knowing that if I do it will only leave him feeling satisfied with himself.

Rafe raises his hand to scratch at his hairless chin, tongue poking through his cheek. His eyes reach mine again after an awkward silence on my end and it feels as though he can see through my facade.

“You can walk around naked for all I care. I was just trying to be nice.” My jaw drops at his words, stunned at the boldness of him. “Is it that hard to just say ‘thank you, Rafe!’ ‘I love you, Rafe!’” He mocks my voice, the high-pitched sound only irritating me more.

He pushes off the wall and approaches me slowly in a casual stride, the sound of his shoes creating a muffled tapping sound from the rectangular carpet resting in the center of the closet. The blonde reaches out to grab the white shirt that I held previously and feels the fabric between his fingers. 

“I have great taste, don’t I?” The way he looked at me made it feel as if there was a double meaning to that question. He releases the shirt and steps backwards until he reaches the door. “Get dressed.” 

He turns on his heel and leaves me alone in the room, the sound of his shoes slapping against the stairs letting me know that he has retreated to the first floor with the rest of his family.

Lucky for me, not that the word ‘lucky’ really means anything to me lately, I packed a small makeup kit in the bag I brought to Tannyhill due to my need to be prepared for anything that comes my way. 

Ironic.

I felt stupid sitting in front of the vanity mirror. I told Rafe not even twenty-four hours ago that I hated being confined in this dollhouse, that I wasn’t going to be some kind of trophy wife with no mind of her own. Yet here I am, blush on my round cheeks and draped in a dress he bought for me. What else could I feel like but a doll? 

Doing my makeup was once a therapeutic process, but now? It felt like a chore. I couldn’t enjoy the way my eyes sparkled with glitter or the way my lips shined with gloss, not knowing that I was doing it for Rafe. Then again, I didn’t have to do it. I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to.

I could have protested harder; I could have cut up all those clothes in the closet and threw them in his face. I could run downstairs at any point and arm myself with a kitchen knife to teach Rafe a lesson. That day I went down to the patio and saw the street I could have run away. Logically, that made no sense, but neither did staying here. I sleep beside him, I eat with him, I drool over him when he’s not looking because I have enough shame to know that I shouldn’t be. Now I sit here in front of this mirror in a silly little outfit, painting my face to gain his approval. 

It makes me feel gross. Not because Rafe makes me feel gross, but because deep down I know that if I truly hated all of this as much as I say I do then I wouldn’t be so quick to do what he asks of me. 

He asks for my obedience, and slowly but surely it slips out of my fingers and into his.

I slam the lip gloss tube in my hand down onto the desk, fingers white knuckling the container as I stare angrily into the mirror. I was tempted to run into the bathroom and wash everything off my face. I couldn’t even enjoy my work like I usually would.

I felt like a beautiful idiot.

Rafe’s footsteps make a sudden return, the sound reaching my ears before I even see him enter the room. He clears his throat behind me to make his presence known to me, but I see him clear as day through the reflection in the mirror. Even if I couldn’t, the aura of pure arrogance that follows him around everywhere would suffocate me before long.

“Are you ready yet?” Rafe asks. He sounds impatient, the purpose of his visit clearly to rush me out of the house. “You’ve been in here long enough.”

I sigh dejectedly and stand up, ready to face my fate. I smooth out the back of the floral sundress as I rise, the material slightly wrinkled for how long I’d been sitting on it. Rafe whistles as I turn around to face him, eyes not leaving an inch of my body untouched. It made me feel naked despite the fact that I’m almost fully covered.

He approaches me slowly with a hand deep in his pocket, the flesh of his bottom lip taken captive by his teeth. Rafe never tries to hide the fact that he’s checking me out. Even before all of this, he couldn’t help himself but to devour me with his eyes. Clearly that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. 

“Don’t pout, you’re too pretty.” He notices the defeated look in my eyes and the slight pucker of my lips immediately. I wasn’t sure how exactly he wanted me to act, but he wasn’t going to get happy.

“I’ll do what I want.” I say. I hold up my hand in front of me when he steps too close to me, forcefully making space between us. 

The taller man wraps his fingers around my extended hand and uses it to pull me closer anyways. My bare skin comes into contact with his own, the deep V-neck of the dress leaving me exposed to the heat of his chest. 

“That’s exactly the problem.” He whispers, neck lowering his head to speak lowly into my ear. He pulls back to look at my face up close and his blue eyes travel over every feature, taking in everything and leaving nothing uninspected. “I always let you do what you want. I let you sit in this room all day and do nothing, because I know you need space. You disrespect me and I let it slide because I’m a very understanding guy, y’know? I understand that…that you’re mad, sad, whatever.”

His unoccupied hand snakes around my waist and rests at the small of my back. I swallow thickly at the sudden contact, our closeness beginning to throw me off balance. I don’t try to pull away, knowing that hell we only pull me tighter against him. His fingers drum against my back, rhythmically tapping at the fabric covered skin. 

“I’m more understanding than you, actually. I take your feelings into consideration when I do things, I always have. But you? You–” He cuts himself off with a dry chuckle. Rafe tilts his head to the side, brows coming together above his eyes before he continues speaking. “You never think about how I feel. You just walk all over me, treat me like–like I’m your little bitch or something.”

“Rafe, can you be serious-” He cuts me off immediately, head shaking side to side as he shushes me with his finger. My face scrunches up at the feeling of the digit against my lips and I jerk my head back instinctively. 

“Don’t! Don’t talk when I’m talking…” Rafe’s patience is wearing thin, the edge on his voice only becoming stronger as he continues speaking. He clears his throat before continuing. “I’m not a bitch, alright? So, when I tell you to do something, you don’t question it. We’re gonna do what I want now, because everything isn’t about you all the time.”

He leans in close, so close that our noses brush against each other and I feel his breath against my glossy lips. I could feel my heart pumping blood through my body so quickly that I was sure my veins would burst open right then. I’m sure he could hear it, that he could feel it in the wrist that was trapped in his hand. 

“So, why don’t you ask me what I want?” He says quietly, each word falling against my lips warmly.

I don’t say anything for a few seconds, mind working hard to deliver the words to my mouth. It was hard for me to function with him pressed up against me like this. It always has been, and this was no different.

“What…” My voice sounds meek, barely audible. I clear my throat of the pathetic sound. “What do you want?” It sounds stronger this time, but I still feel pathetic for giving in so easily.

“What I want…” Rafe stresses the word just barely. “What I want is for you to be a good girlfriend, because I’ve been very good to you. I do so much for you. You can start by saying ‘thank you.’”

My pride wants me to do anything but say those words, but I'd rather not take my chances with the barely stable man. If this were a month ago, I would have no problem telling him off, and while I’d gladly do it now, I wasn’t too sure I would come out unscathed. 

“Thank you.” I practically spit the words out and into his face. They are not sweet and soft like he wanted, though I doubt he expected that from me.

His head pulls back just a little and his tongue strikes against his teeth repeatedly to tsk at me. 

“I need more than that.” He says with a pout on his face. The hand that once held my wrist now finds my chin, the knuckles of his fingers lifting my face to force my eyes to meet his after then had fallen to the floor. “‘Thank you, Rafe. You do so much for me.’”

I could be sick any moment, every nerve in my body itching to say every word in the dictionary but the ones that just left his lips. My tongue felt heavy in my mouth, and I wasn’t sure if I could even move it to form the sentence on my own.

He could tell how much I hated this, a smile grazing his face as he watched me struggle to repeat after him.

Clearing my throat again, I inhale deeply before I allow myself to speak.

“Thank you, Rafe. You do so much for me.” I sounded much weaker than I had planned. I felt humiliated, wanting nothing more than to crawl back under the covers of the bed and fall asleep forever.

Rafe smiles smugly at my defeated, angry face and it makes me want to slap him again, fingers twitching at my side. 

“You’re welcome.” He says sweetly. Rafe releases me from his grasp at his own speed, hands dragging away from my waist at tortoise-like pace. His fingers graze past my bare skin, the cutouts on my side leaving me exposed to the elements of the man before me. 

He turns on his heel and walks towards the bed, hands reaching out for the small white purse I chucked onto the mattress haphazardly and forgot about. I take it out of his hands when he holds it out to me, the lightweight feeling of it only reminding me of its emptiness. I had nothing to put inside, no phone, no wallet. It was just another pretty accessory that made me feel more and more like I’m living in a dollhouse.

I follow Rafe out of the room, the sound of our shoes clashing as we walk down the stairs together. 

This was the first time I had been out of the house and gone further than the driveway. The security guard would always get a little twitchy when I got too close so I never tested my luck. I also had no idea where we were going, everything about the island unfamiliar to me.

The drive to wherever we were going felt like forever, nothing to distract me but the view of the sky above from the car window. Even that was boring, not a single cloud grazed the blue background, and the sun was beginning to burn my eyes. 

Rafe hadn’t said anything the entire drive, eyes buried deep in his phone as he busied himself with something that must have been of great importance. It was only when the driver called out his name that he raised his head. The car had been still for at least a minute and Rafe had made no moves to exit.

He steps out of the car with his phone in hand, shoving it into his pocket as he walks over to my side to open the door for me. He holds his hand to side my exit, the chivalrous gesture coming to him naturally.

“Thanks…” I mumble as I’m pulled out of the car. He hums softly in acknowledgement, door shutting behind us as he guides me to our destination.

It looked to be a yacht port, the long, wooden platforms extending into the water with luxury boats floating around them. My heels tap against the wood noisily as we approach the end of the dock, Rafe’s step falling in sync with mine. Rafe stops in front of a large boat, and I follow his lead.

I study the yacht in front of us for a brief moment. My father’s boat back home was a dwarf compared to this one.

Rafe guides me onto the boat first. I could feel him watching me worriedly as I stepped over the gap between the catamaran and the dock, surely concerned that I’d somehow slip and fall through the small space and drown in the water below. I clear the gap easily, free hand gripping the side of the boat to aid me in keeping my balance on the buoyant chunk of metal. I wait as he climbs on after me, curiously waiting for what he has planned.

I wanted for him to lead me as I wasn’t entirely sure where to go. He walks me to the inside of the boat, the black interior walls of the luxury craft contrasting the white exterior.

“I’ll be right back.” He says.

The blonde takes long strides to the back of the boat near the dock and kneels down to untie the ropes keeping it from floating away. I tear my eyes away from his back, deeply uninterested in the process and let my eyes travel around the boat instead.

He made me get dressed up to go sailing alone? This is what he wanted to do so badly?

Rolling my eyes, I set my practically empty bag down on the couch behind me and walk over to the bar directly adjacent. It was fully stocked with alcohol, not that I drank anyways. Instead of indulging in fermented liquid, I grab a water bottle from the small fridge hidden beneath the bar counter. I can hear Rafe climbing back up the boat, footsteps falling against the steps as he makes his way up to the top level of the boat.

I nearly fall over when the boat begins moving unexpectedly, extremely unprepared for the strong jerk of the vehicle pulling off from the dock. 

I stumble back to the couch where my purse lies and take a seat, far too unstable and inexperienced to wear heels on a moving boat. I kick them off and free my feet of the mildly uncomfortable shoes.

“Jesus Christ…” I grumble to myself. I push off the couch again once my feet are bare and take silent steps to the large wall of windows that surrounded the room. The dock gets smaller and smaller as Rafe steers further into the water, the other boats looking more like miniature replicas as we create distance between them and us.

We drive around for a while, the water practically empty besides Rafe and I. I stopped paying attention to the scenery outside at some point, the sight of the blue water and distant island from behind the tinted windows all blurring together in my eyes. It was when the outside stopped moving that I was snapped out of my trance.

I wasn’t sure how long the boat had been stopped, but it was long enough for Rafe to come back down the stairs. I didn't notice him standing there until he spoke, the sudden intrusion startling me.

“Beautiful view.” He says. My neck snaps towards his direction, the well dressed blonde standing at the bottom of the narrow staircase a few yards away. I wasn’t sure if he was talking about me or the view of the water. I didn't care to ask, instead turning to face the windows again. 

His footfalls reach my ears as he approaches, his strong aura falling closer to me with every stop. He stops right behind me, eyes sharing the view with me from over my head. 

“Yeah, I guess.” I reply dismissively. I’m met with silence after my response, the soft sounds of the water replacing our voices as we stand together in silence.

“Not as beautiful as my girl, though.” I can feel Rafe place his hands on my hips from his place behind me, his reflection in the dark windows showing his head tilting down slightly to place a kiss atop my head.  

The gesture was cute, but I felt much too conflicted to react. If this were a month ago, I would have melted into his arms. But now? I stand stiffly in his hands as his lips make contact with me for the first time in weeks. 

I’m sure he’s testing the waters with me, making sure that I’m not going to lash out against him for doing such a thing. I didn’t plan on it, if my lack of reaction was any indication. He takes that as permission to keep going, lips connecting with my ear and shoulder innocently as he his arms wrap around me completely. It was a position that he always found himself being in with me. I should have pushed him away, but I didn't.

“Come with me.” He releases me from his embrace, settling for my hand in his as he takes me out to the front of the boat. 

The water from here looks even brighter, the clear blue color of it is almost unreal to me. There was a bed-like seating area beneath the sun visor on the boat but Rafe walked past it, me following in tow due to our connected hands. He instead leads us to the net beds at the very front of the bow, water visible through the small holes of the intertwined rope.

I cringed when I saw it, feet planted firmly into the ground to stop any further movement. I wasn’t scared of the water, it’s not like I can’t see what’s beneath it and I can swim perfectly fine, but that doesn’t mean that I trust the nets to not break and drop me into the ocean unexpectedly. 

I look between Rafe and the net a couple of times before he finally gets the hint. He looks somewhat amused by my hesitancy, a light smile playing on his lips. He tugs me to the front anyways, his own bare feet landing on the firm rope bed as he waits for me to join him.

“You’ll be fine. You’ve been through worse.” I am unamused by the comment, not that he cares. He helps me onto the net, the material barely denting underneath the weight of the both of us. I lower myself next to him, deeply unsettled by the possibility of it breaking. “See? You’re fine.”

“Yeah…” I say softly. 

I wasn’t sure what else to say or how to strike up any conversation that wasn’t an argument. It was all we did now. To be honest, it was all we did before, too.

Rafe doesn’t notice my reluctance to speak, and if he does, he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, we sit together in silence, the ocean breeze blowing against our skin as we take in the beautiful view. 

We sat there together for a while in silence, the usual tension between us paused as we allowed ourselves to be surrounded by the vast ocean. It was scenic, the way the sun sat above the island and the blue waters calmly crashed against the shore. I would have forgotten Rafe was there if he were not sitting so close to me. I could feel the net dip every time he would shift in his seat, his arm brushing up against mine when he would reach up to nervously pull at the cartilage of his ear. 

His anxiety was palpable, his constant fidgeting giving him away. I could feel him glance at me every so often, the feeling of his eyes boring into the side of my head far too strong to completely ignore. I’m sure if I leaned in close enough, I would be able to hear his heart hammering against his rib cage.

I said nothing despite being aware of it, eyes focused ahead on the island in the distance. If he wants to say something, he will.

Rafe was the first one to break the silence. 

“Riah.” Rafe calls my name softly. I hum in response, the noise barely audible. 

He looks conflicted. I watched him attentively, noticing the nervous chewing he was doing to his tongue, the way he kept fiddling with his fingers, cracking them over and over as he played with the family ring decorating his hand. His mind is clearly throwing around a million thoughts at the walls of his skull. 

“Do you…” He starts suddenly, eyes flickering back up to mine from his own hands. “You still–you still want to be with me, right?”

I heard the question loud and clear, though I didn't react due to my complete bewilderment. 

“What?” I freeze in my place, unsure if I’m even breathing anymore. If I play dead, maybe I can avoid answering. Maybe I was hallucinating from lack of outside socialization, from being locked in that white bedroom for days at a time with a bunch of crazy people.

I know I’m not going crazy when he repeats the question. He readjusts his position on the net bed to completely face me, his attention captured by my side profile.

“Do you still want to be with me?” He sounds more confident this time, the softness of his voice gone even though he still sounds a bit hesitant.

“That’s…a random question, isn't it?” A question that I was less than prepared to answer out of the blue like this.

“Can you answer it?” He sounds impatient, like he can tell that I don’t want to give him an answer. “Look at me.”

I don’t look at him, opting to keep my head facing forward. I felt ambushed by the sudden interrogation.

Did I want to be with him? I wasn’t sure what to say to that. If he had left on a whim without taking me with him, if I were still back home and had no idea where he disappeared to, then yes. I would want to be with him. I would miss him deeply; I would be thinking about his absence day and night. I’d be wondering why he left with zero contact so suddenly. 

However, that’s not the case. 

I am here on this island with him, by force no less. He is the reason I am not at home right now, why my friends and family probably think something terrible has happened to me. He took away any freedom I had, any autonomy. He completely disregarded everything I cared about, everything I wanted for my life.

Rafe is selfish. I knew that for a long time before we were together, everyone knew that. He‘s brash, violent, and has an addictive personality. His father has money and power, so he has money and power; something that makes him dangerous. He is manipulative and borderline abusive. Whatever complicated relationship he has with his father has clearly affected his personality in a negative way.

He was not known to be a kind person. Arrogant? He is every bit of that. Rude? He is every bit of that. But even knowing all of this, I still decided to become his girlfriend.

I saw something in him, something other than the worst parts of him that he put on display for everyone else. His vulnerability with me struck a chord in my heart. He is a deeply hurt individual, one that depended on acting out for attention. He was willing to change for me, and that made my heart constrict. 

Sure, I’m not pleased with him currently. I told him I hate him and I refused to acknowledge for days, but that was out of anger and frustration. I don’t actually hate him, we both were very aware of that, but I can’t be sure of what I do feel for him. There are so many things that go through my mind when I lay my eyes on him, so many emotions that pass through me and leave me wrecked in their wake.

After ripping me away from my home, treating me like I have no mind of my own, crossing boundaries that I didn’t even know had to be made, did he still deserve me? Any sane person would say no–even I would say no had you asked me before summer started. I think even now, in the moment that we sit on this boat together, I would say no. He doesn’t deserve me. I’m too good for him, and he’s not good for me. 

But do I still want to be with him? Do I still want to call him mine and be called his? Do I want him to hold me, to kiss me, to whisper in my ear and tell me sweet things that make me smile? Do I want him to call me his princess, to touch me in ways that make me burn hot and infest my insides with swarms of butterflies?

I’d be a liar if I said no.

“I don’t know.” Is what I choose to say instead. I’m not strong enough to look him in the eyes when I say it, sure that I will give myself away if I do. 

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know?’” Rafe responds almost immediately. 

“I mean I don’t know, Rafe.” I shake my head at him even though he can’t see my face completely.

“How do you not know if you still want me, Neriah?” He says as if I’ve caused him great offense.

“Rafe…” I sighed heavily, preparing myself for the conversation that was going to have to happen between us eventually. I reposition myself to face him completely, breath stolen away briefly by the gorgeous man in front of me. I swallow thickly, words floating around pointlessly in my brain as I attempt to explain myself.

He impatiently awaits my answer, body shoulders tense as he watches me fight myself for an answer. He brings his fingers to his mouth, teeth picking at the nail of his pinky.

“I…Rafe, you broke my trust in a way that I don’t think I can ever forgive you for.”

“I know that. I understand that Neriah, and I’m sorry.” He says. He seems sincere in his apologies, though he always does and half the time it never means anything. “I don’t think I could ever say sorry enough.”

“No, Rafe. There is no amount of sorrow that could ever fix this, because you truly don’t understand.” I want to feel angry but I can’t, not when he looks at me so sadly. “You hurt me, Rafe. You took me from my family, my home. You only care about what you want, what makes you happy. You don’t care about what makes me happy.”

“That’s not true-”

“Then why am I here, Rafe?” I cut him off exasperatedly. He says nothing to defend himself, already knowing that his answer would not work in his favor. “I’m here because you wanted me here. I didn’t come here on my own.”

Rafe says nothing, surprising me as he always has something to say. I take this as an invitation to keep going. Hesitantly, I reach out for his hand and wrap my fingers around it. He looks shocked that I’ve initiated contact, as it’s something I rarely ever did. His other hand places itself on top of mine, the warmth of his skin seeping into mine.

“Look.” My tongue pokes out to moisten my lips out of habit, the flavorless lip gloss sticky against the appendage. “I care about you. I am so, so angry at you, and I’m confused…When I look at you, I feel so many things, Rafe, but none of them are things that I should feel about you. I should hate you; I should want nothing to do with you because you took advantage of my trust in you. I shouldn’t miss you hugging me, or kissing me, or calling me your pretty girl. I shouldn’t but–but…I do.”

His focus is completely on me, hands gripping mine tightly as he listens to my words attentively. He looks both relieved and nervous, clearly unsure about where I’m going with my speech. I’m not even sure myself, the words just falling out of my mouth as I think them.

“I do, and I don’t know how to stop. But I also don’t know how I’m ever going to trust you again–if I will ever trust you again.” The tension between us has returned, the once clear air now stuffy with the feelings that we had buried before we left the house. I couldn’t stop the words from flowing out of my mouth and into his ears, but I think we both needed to hear it. “So to answer your question, Rafe, yes. Yes, I still want you.”

“You don’t know how much I needed to hear that, Neriah.” His hands release mine and fly up to cup my face gently. His thumbs run over my cheeks delicately, as if I’ll crack if he handles me too roughly. I reach towards his hands on my face and grab his wrists, my fingers circling the joint weakly. 

I can tell he wants that to be my final answer, but nothing is ever that simple. He needed to hear everything that I had to say, whether he accepted it or not.

“Yes, I still want you.” I repeat softly. Rafe’s eyes are deep, drowning in them would be no different than falling in the water below. He could easily trap me with them, keep me with him for the rest of eternity, but I force myself to hold them with my own. “But I can’t sit here and tell you that things can be the same. I can’t let you call me yours, I can’t play house with you and pretend everything is okay just because I still want you. I can’t feed into whatever fantasy led you to bring me here in the first place, Rafe. I just…I just can’t.”

I pull his hands away from my face and place them back in his own lap gently. I stand from my seated position and return to the inside of the boat, leaving him outside on the net to allow him time to process my words. 

My feet carry me to the stairs leading to the top of the catamaran. I need to put physical distance between him and I, sure that one of us will do something we shouldn’t if I didn’t. The tension was suffocating. I barely seat myself on the couch at the top of the boat before I hear Rafe storming after me, his violent footsteps loud and just barely rocking the boat.

“Neriah, please.” Rafe stops a few inches in front of me, an expression of desperation on his face. His voice is pleading, almost pathetic as he says my name. “Please, please. I’m so sorry, please don’t do this to me.”

“Rafe, I’m not doing anything to you. I just–I can’t right now.” 

He begins pacing around the small space, hands grabbing at the non-existent hair on his head. His fingers ball up into his palms, the newly formed fists used to hit the sides of his skull repeatedly as he walks back and forth. 

“No, no, no...” He mumbles to himself as he walks. “I’m so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid!”

I flinch at the sudden outburst. I didn’t know if I should get up and stop him from hurting himself, surely the beating he was giving his head could not be healthy. He stops his pacing and appears in front of me faster than I can blink.

“I–I know I fucked up, Neriah. I know that.” He says from his standing position. He looks down at my expressionless face as he tries to explain himself, hands now busying themselves with clasping and unclasping the watch decorating his wrist. “What we did to you, what–what I did to you, was wrong. It wasn’t right, I know. But I can make it right–I promise I can make things right.”

I shake my head at him, lips pressing together as I watch him shift from foot to foot nervously.

“No, Rafe. You can’t make this right, because nothing about this is right.”

I nearly shoot up out of the chair when he drops to his knees in front of me. He grabs my hands in his tightly, the grip leaving my fingers immobile. I froze in my spot, unsure of what exactly to do in this situation. It’s like he flipped a switch, his semi-calm demeanor now replaced by a desperate grasp at my forgiveness.

“Please!” He yells desperately. Tears well in his eyes faster than he can blink them away. “Please, Neriah, you’re all I have. I–I don’t know what to do without you.”

The display was making me both deeply uncomfortable and pitiful. I’ve never seen him like this, and I wasn’t sure how to react. It felt like a disproportionate reaction to what I told him, but I can’t think of a time where he hasn’t overreacted to anything that even slightly upset him.

“Rafe, please get off the floor.” I hated when he freaked out. The only way to stop it was to give him what he wanted.

“Neriah, baby, I’m so sorry.” He brings my hands to his mouth and places soft kisses onto the skin. “I’m so, so sorry. I–I should have never done this to you, you’re right. I’m selfish and–and I’m a liar, and I hurt you and I’m so stupid for that. I was trying, I was really trying to be good for you. Better for you.”

He releases my hands and opts for wrapping his arms around me, his face pressed into my stomach firmly as he holds me tightly against him. My hands push at his shoulders, body twisting to escape his hold but he doesn’t budge.

“Rafe, you’re being dramatic. You shouldn’t have expected anything different.” I say annoyedly. “Get off me, you’re embarrassing yourself.”

“I don’t care!” I feel the vibration of his yelling through my dress, his voice refracting off my stomach. The tears that were welling up in his eyes just moments ago were beginning to fall and seep through the thin fabric of my dress. “I love you so much, you don’t understand. I’ve been such a horrible boyfriend to you, but I love you more than anything. I’m such…I’m such a shitty person, I know, but I’m trying. I expect you to hate me, I expect you to want nothing to do with me and I deserve all that, alright? Trust me, I know.”

He had an iron grip on me, his biceps flexing against me as he held me like I’m going to disappear. I’d never seen a grown man look so pathetic in my life. I wanted to push him off me and be done with it, but I can’t help but feel a little bad.

“But please…” Rafe says again. He pulls his head away from my torso to look up at me, face damp with tears and red from the heat of emotion. “I don’t need anyone else but you. I don’t want anyone else but you, I never have. I’m so alone without you, Neriah. Please just give me another chance.”

“I’ve given you more than enough chances, Rafe.” 

“So what’s one more?” His eyes are big and glassy, and the sight of him like this makes it hard to stand my ground. 

“One more chance is everything, Rafe.” I say firmly. “If I give you one more chance, then you’ll ask for another, and another. You don’t even deserve another chance right now; you’ve done nothing to earn it.”

“Then I will!” The blonde exclaims. “I’ll–I’ll do anything. I’d do anything for you, just like I said. I meant that. Just–please, Neriah. I’m begging you.”

This is the most powerless I’ve ever seen, him and it was truly a sight to see. While I was slightly annoyed, I can’t say the image of him on his knees begging for my forgiveness wouldn’t be a core memory of mine. 

“Please don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on us.” He looks truly broken, heart bleeding red on his sleeve as the shattered pieces fall out of his eyes and drip onto my lap. “Everyone always gives up on me. I want us to be different…I need us to be different.”

I say nothing, feeling slightly overwhelmed by everything. It was so difficult for me to say no to him, especially when he was like this. It’s how I ended up here in the first place. I knew myself well, and I knew if I spoke, I would say something that would land me in the place of the textbook definition of the word ‘idiot.’

It was just this morning that he practically humiliated me for his own pleasure, a blatant display of his power over me in that moment. 

But how could it be easy for me to reject him when he sits here on his knees before me, so desperate for my mercy? He looked like a broken, lost boy, so distraught at the thought of losing me.

It was hard for me to not sympathize with him. While it is his responsibility to change, it isn’t his fault that act the way he does. His father is a nasty man, one that would let his own son take the fall for a crime he committed. One that would berate him, neglect him, and abuse him for not being the perfect human. How else could Rafe turn out in an environment like that? When you look up to a man that hurts people to get what he wants and flaunts his riches for influence, how could you know being like him is wrong without someone guiding you to be different? 

I was the person that’s supposed to help him be different. I’m supposed to be there for him while he finds himself. What would happen if I gave up on him? 

I should be worried about my own safety rather than his well-being, but I can’t. I was fine, both physically and mentally for the most part. Sure, I’m pissed at him, but simply due to the principle of it all. In no case is kidnapping and drugging okay. But him? He was clearly not okay. He obviously needed help, and he had no one here that was willing to help him. No one had ever tried to help him, and he needed me.

Besides, we were on an island by ourselves in the middle of the Caribbean. How long could I keep this up? We live together and will be for God knows how long. I’d be a fool to believe that I could continue to ignore him for the entire time we’re here, especially when my resolve had already been cracking for a few days.

“Rafe…” I wasn’t sure how to rationalize my decision out loud, sure that I’d sound like a crazy person if I heard myself verbalize my thoughts. My hands go to cup his head, thumbs moving softly across his face to wipe away the fresh tears that were still falling. He leaned into my touch, face hot against my palms. 

“Don’t make me regret this.”

Rafe’s wrecked eyes light up so bright I’m nearly blinded by the swift change. He grabs the hands that rested against the side of his face and places soft pecks against them, his head turning to cover them in countless kisses. I stand up from my seat and he follows after me, rising from his place on the ground, he hunches over to remain eye level with me. 

We switch positions, my face now in his hands as his tear-stained face leans in close. He looked completely smitten with me, something he admitted to being himself just a few minutes ago, eyes sparkling with heart shaped reflections of me. 

“You won’t. I promise you won’t.” He says, minty breath softly hitting my face as he speaks. He studies my face adoringly, drinking in my features like a man dehydrated.

I could feel him leaning into me, lips brushing against mine for just a second before I pulled away in a moment of hesitancy. 

“I’m serious, Rafe.” My voice is soft, eyes darting all over his face warily. His head nods rapidly, one hand moving from the side of my face to tuck a braid behind my ear.

“I know, I know…” 

This time I lean in, glossy lips pressing against his sweetly and hesitantly and pulling away before I can properly feel the warmth of his lips. The evidence of my juvenile peck is left behind on his mouth, lips stained a clear pink from the color on my own. I go to wipe it away, but he blocks it, tongue poking out to collect the residue. 

“What am I gonna do with you?” I say. Rafe smiles at me, pearly white teeth giving me a show. One of his hands leaves my face and finds home on my back to pull me closer. 

“Good things, I hope.” His bottom lip falls captive to the same teeth he used to smile at me with. He looks so entranced with me, unable to escape my features as he examines them for the hundredth time like it’s the first. “God, I’m so in love with you.”

He initiates contact between our lips this time, the hesitancy that I had nowhere to be found in his kiss. It’s gentle but firm, cushiony lips capturing mine with a confidence that I definitely lacked. I felt like I could ascend at that moment. I missed the familiar feeling of his lips against mine, the feeling of him holding me close while I was left breathless in his wake.

The kiss is sweet and rhythmic, the two of us basking in the feeling as we hold each other close.

[judgementdaysunshine]

Hot and heavy

Pairing: Raven x Fem reader x Trish Stratus

Description: After the roster attends a party for the Smackdown network the flirting between you, Trish, and Raven to hit the surface

Pic credits to @romanthereigns

"There she is!" you laugh seeing Ron and Bradshaw dressed in nice shirts and pants looping your arms with them as jokes are shared. A few heads turn when you walk by or stop to talk getting whistles and compliments wearing a revealing dress that showed off your back and the tattoo of the sun, flowers, and little birds along your spine "Show off the body!" heat floods your face at Edge hiding your face in your hands before grabbing a Piña colada at the bar sitting between Stevie and Lita until the air in your body leaves once you lock eyes with Trish sharing a warm hug feeling her hands on your shoulders as your heart quivers unable to control the chill that runs through you seeing Raven feeling his warm hand glide down your back the three of you have a drink at the bar before walking around flipping off a smirking Jeff as the flirting between the three of you became more explicit and heated than it had been the past two months being in love with trish for three years and falling for raven a month into him being in WWF. You had started the flirting off with small compliments and slowly building trust with raven before the flirting heated up even putting your hands under their gear or clothes mostly it would just be your hand rubbing their side or back but you never tried to do anything sexual because you didn't want to make them uncomfortable and you were also afraid of how they would react but now as the three of you smoke a joint away from everyone else you felt confidence to take things up to the next level starting off with small caresses smiling when you feel trish's hand run along your exposed leg while raven ran his fingers over your back tracing every detail of your tattoo before he was kissing along your neck and trish tangling her fingers in your hair leading the three of you to sneak away walking to the hotel nearby where raven was staying and as soon as the door was closed trish was pinned to the door with you kissing her as things slowly becoming more intimate and heated. You place his glasses on the nightstand before you and him were in a passionate kiss unbuttoning his shirt as your dress falls to the floor and before you knew it your face was buried between trish's legs almost moaning at the sight of her and raven kissing, the tables turn when you straddle over raven's face and if you weren't already a mess by your feelings for them and by what was happening so far then you were with raven running his hands along your sides and softly kissing your thighs while trish sucked him off almost having an outer body experience from the pleasure and the fact that you were sharing such a tender intimate moment with the woman you had been in love with for so long and sharing the same moment with the man you also fell for was almost too much for you to handle and you definitely were putty by this point with trish underneath you one hand caressing your hip and raven's side while the other rubbed circles on your clit while raven slowly thrusted in you trembling and shaking as trish had you drink on water "Have you eaten?" you shake your head leading trish to grab food while grabbing spare clothes for you and herself while you showered with raven sharing paused kisses before the three of you eat and fall asleep. You wake up wrapped in raven's arms while trish worked out with lita sharing a tender kiss before the two of you were eating breakfast being joined by trish ten minutes later talking and agreeing to something more with all three of you instead of choosing one of them to be with walking hand in hand in the arena for Smackdown being seen sharing food with trish and snuggling with raven while wearing his jacket as all of you sit in your locker room being ringside for both their matches and they were over the moon kissing you after you win your match against Ivory and become women's champion smiling as you put polaroids you all took together in your wallet and pockets laying between them wrapped in bed sharing gentle kisses and tender I love you's as you each fall asleep.

[nevada-wrytes]

Chapter 3 - When the Ocean Starts Retreating (And You Don't Run Away)

Content warnings: Underage drinking, alcohol, kissing

Here's the link to the previous chapter and here's the link to the next one!

Birds of a feather flock together- or however the saying goes- was entirely based on falsehoods. Raven could name many birds that would like to never see his face again— and it’s not like he didn’t mirror the same sentiment.

“What do you think of this dress?” Dahlia held out a thrifted nightgown with all the toppings: ruffles and lace and buttons where they do not need to be.

Raven, from where he was belly-flopped over a cushiony ottoman, craned his neck to look. You’d look like a pearl. “It’s too cold,” he huffed, collapsing limply back to his default pose.

“Well obviously I’d layer! But anyways, do you think this would match my Docs better than the green maxi dress..”

Raven turned off the part of him that could process speech. His mind felt stuffy after so long at the he-should-really-stop-calling-this-a-pep-rally-funeral. Not to mention his stomach was rumbling. Damn, when was the last time he ate?

Dahlia, having sensed his unwillingness to be of any fashion help, had gone to pester her siblings for advice, which left him the rest of the room to mope around.

He got up from the low ottoman with an intake of breath and a good stretch, enough to hear his spine snap and pop pleasantly. Then he gleefully jumped on to Dahlia’s bed and burrowed into the thick duvet and blankets. They still smelled like her, and for once he allowed himself to devour- taking deep, greedy breaths.

Once he had assembled himself a little nest, he poked his head out and almost knocked over a framed photo on the nightstand. He caught it with his fast reflexes (not bragging or anything) and gingerly set it back.

Something about the photo caught his attention. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before, or like it was revolutionary photography skills- it was just a selfie of Dahlia in between an older frowning man with a bushy mustache and a tiny woman. He’d seen her parents before (kind of had to as her would-be sort of boyfriend) but- this time it felt different.

The people in the photo seemed so- genuine. Nice. They seem like the kind of family who would be upset if something happened to their own.

Raven thought about his own family. He hadn’t seen them in a while- did he miss them? Would they be upset if something happened to him- wait- no, what was he thinking?

Raven got up and shook those thoughts away as if he was putting a giant cotton swab in his brain and swishing it around.

“Raveeeen~” Dahlia’s voice floated through the hallway. She was already fully dressed in a cute outfit and braids that made her look like a Studio Ghibli character. She slung a tote bag over her arm. “Ready to go?”

Raven gave her his best bright smile. “Yup!”

He took her by the arm and together they walked out.

“I like your hair, did Aspen braid it?

“Yeah! He said two braids would look the best.”

“It frames your face nicely. I want to grow my hair out so I can braid it too..”

ˇ

There was no keg-standing at the party— and for that, Raven was immensely disappointed. He wanted to have a true American highschool experience. Dahlia told him he should’ve gone to a frat house rather than a quaint New England town.

Besides that, the party seemed alright. Some rich kid was hosting it at his ski lodge— which was just a revamped log cabin in the middle of the woods equipped with a tennis court and swimming pool. Oh, and a jacuzzi— although it was unfortunately being occupied by couples who forgot social distancing was a thing. They did not seem in a hurry— Raven was never getting a turn in that hot tub.

Dahlia steered him away. “Oh, I think I see my friend’s over there- I’m gonna go say hi-” She let go of his arm to wave, “-hey! Girlies!”

Raven felt a fond smile grow on his face as he watched her run off. He mosied on back to a snacks table— someone had put a framed photo of the dead girl from the funeral next to the red solo cups. What a harsh reminder of what they were all supposed to be doing there.

He took a cup, weighed the pros and cons of drinking tonight, and then deemed that all irrelevant. In went two full ladles of whatever hard liquor x everything else in your pantry concoction something had made. He was pretty sure he saw a gummy worm bobbing in his cup. It tasted like burnt sugar going down, but brought back a pleasant warmth in his fingers.

Idly, he milled over to the dance floor. Someone had hung up fairy lights and lanterns around the patio, and with the canopy of trees in the background, it almost looked like the fortune teller’s tent.

He was sick of those stupid fairy lights.

Before he could leave, Raven felt rather than saw the stranger come up to him. His body stiffened on its own accord, but he willed himself to chill.

"Hey." Raven turned around, all nonchalant, and his eyes widened.

The stranger— an absolute Beast of a man— was taller than him (and he was almost six foot) and had an impressive amount of piercings dotting his face. Dark shaggy hair fell into his eyes from his wolf cut. He wore jeans so ripped you could practically see his thighs- and so many chains- he must have spent years harvesting them from prisoners. It was agonizing looking at him— how could someone be cooler than Raven, the coolest guy ever??

"I like your shirt." He had a deep, smooth voice, too. He didn't fail to notice Raven's staring, in fact, the corner of his mouth curved upwards around his lip piercing. Raven felt his face grow hot. Any self-respect he had sank to the floor.

"My- my shirt?" He looked down to see what he was wearing. It was an old rock band t-shirt from a group long disbanded. "Oh- er- thank you?"

"It's vintage, right? Which thrift store did ya get it at? I work at one, you know, so if you ever wanted a discount-"

"What? Oh, no, I got this shirt while they were on tour."

"What?"

He spotted Dahlia in the crowd by herself. "'Scuse me-"

Raven surprised her from behind with a hug, "Guess who!"

Dahlia jumped, nearly spilling her drink. "Raven!" She settled back in his arms. He smiled and began to sway to the beat of the music. Dahlia said nothing.

Raven cursed himself for how awkward his next words were going to be. "Hey- ugh, what's wrong?"

Dahlia hummed. "It's nothing. My friends were just saying some mean shit about the girl who died. I mean- I didn't really care about her either but- it's not nice to spread rumors when she's gone and all that-" Dahlia turned to face him, "Raven, if something happened to me, would you be upset?"

"I- What?"

The music stopped. "Hey, hey, hey, party people!" Someone had commandeered the mic from the karaoke machine, "This is your host, Ronnie speaking! I know some of you've been rumbling about bad weather- but don't worry, Ron's got you all covered. If this place goes south we still have the whole basement- and there's a pool table!- So don't fret, just enjoy the music, alcohol, and party as if we're gonna die tomorrow!!" He chuckled. "I mean you never know, one of us could be next!" His eyes shot directly to Raven.

The music continued shortly after, seemingly no one had heard the last part of Ronnie's speech. Raven looked back at Dahlia but she wasn't there. Panic surged through him.

"Dahlia?" He looked over the heads on the dance floor but couldn't see the familiar brown locks.

"Dahlia?" He found a group of girls huddled by the drinks table, but they shot him a weird look.

"Dahlia?" His voice was a whisper. He had somehow made it to the edge of the backyard, right by the woods.

The overcast sky was pitch black at this hour, so the forest seemed even darker than usual. A cool wind rustled the dry branches. As he looked up, he saw dozens of beady eyes staring at him.

"Raven?" He willed himself to turn around. Dahlia stood on the last step of the deck, two drinks in her hands.

"What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't find you."

"I just went to get some drinks. Come on, these are hot."

ˇˇ

They found a quiet corner away from the noise of the central party. Raven cupped a steamy drink in his hand. He took a sip and was delighted to find out it tasted exactly like Autumn. And cinnamon.

"What is this?"

"Cider. There's alcohol in it too, so it'll warm you right up."

"Hmp. Nice."

They quietly drank. Dahlia was first to speak up.

"Do you want to go home?"

Raven took a second to answer. "I don't want to leave you here alone."

"I'd go with you."

"What? But you were the one who wanted to come here."

Dahlia shrugged. "Yeah, and now I'm here. I had a fun time, it's probably late, I wouldn't mind leaving. Besides-" She got closer, "I don't want to force you to do anything you're uncomfy with.

She was staring right at him. Raven felt lost in her large eyes. He swallowed and set down his drink. "You didn't force me- I don't do anything I don't want to do regardless-"

"Hmp." Dahlia smiled. She was getting really close. Her breath smelled like alcohol and fruit.

"So this is okay?" Her lips were right next to his ear. His face went red- and he wasn't sure if it was just from the alcohol or not.

"Yes, yes it's fine."

"And this?" She kissed his neck, right underneath his jaw.

"MHM! YUP!" He shut his eyes. Let her pull him close. Found where his hands slot around her waist. Where his lips fit around hers. Where their breaths merged into one.

It was drunken revelry at its finest. One last hoorah.

Tag list: (ask to be added/removed) @thebonecarver @victorfrankingstein @confused-as-all-hell @iambecomeyourvillain @brekkercookie @fallen-from-olympus @purpl-cryptid @reyyya @thecurlychameleon @naz-yalensky @thesexypanda-boo @kazoo-the-demjin @twelve-kinds-of-trouble @robbiinn

[smilesstardust]

Hailey woke up to a splitting headache and a pounding on the front door. She’d had a little too much wine the night before, and washed it down with a couple of glasses of whiskey as she had the day off and had intended to spend it in bed.

She swung her legs out of bed and grabbed the glass of water she was thankful she’d remembered to put on her nightstand, draining it in one go. She grabbed one of Jay’s hoodies off the chair and pulled it on as she walked towards the door, having slept wearing much less than she usually would have because of the early summer heat. She pulled down her sleep shorts that she was wearing underneath so that they were actually visible and it didn’t look like she was answering the door half naked.

"I’m coming!" She shouted as the knock came again, just as she moved the empty glasses and half drunk bottles over to the kitchen so the wouldn’t be the first thing whoever was at the door noticed. "Give me a minute." She muttered under her breath. She combed her fingers through her hair to make sure it wasn’t a tangled birds nest, and opened the door.

She didn’t know who she was expecting on the other side, but a young woman holding the hand of a little girl was not it. They didn’t look related, the woman’s tanned skin and dark hair a stark contrast to the the little girl’s freckles and light reddish brown hair. Hailey was sure she’d never seen the girl before, but there was something so familiar about the way she looked that she couldn’t quite place.

Nobody spoke for first few seconds, and the silence seemed to stretch out until was almost uncomfortable. "Uh, hi?" Hailey said after a moment, deciding to bite the bullet. The sooner whatever this was had been dealt with, the sooner she could go back to bed.

"Sorry, I think I must have the wrong address." The woman apologised. "I’m looking for Jay Halstead’s apartment."

"Uh, no, you’re in the right place." Hailey shook her head a little, trying not to show just how surprised she was by someone asking after Jay. "I’m Hailey. His wife." Hailey pretended not to see the woman glance towards her left hand, looking for the wedding ring that had been hidden away since she took it off a few weeks ago.

"Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise he was married." She looked fairly young, Hailey thought as she apologised again, maybe early to mid twenties at most. Even if there had been any resemblance between them, Hailey would have been surprised if she was old enough to be the girl’s mother. "Is he here? I’m sorry, I really need to speak to him and this is my last resort. I’ve been calling him but he didn’t answer any of them."

"Don’t worry, it’s nothing personal, he doesn’t answer mine either." She muttered to herself. "He’s on deployment in Bolivia, has been outside the wire for the last week and isn’t due to be reachable for another two days minimum." She explained.

"Oh." She sighed. "Crap."

"Anything I can help with?" Hailey asked. The woman must have been a CI of Jay’s. He’d only passed a few over to her when he left, and if he’d flipped her right before then Hailey definitely wouldn’t have known anything about her. She didn’t look like a CI, but that didn’t exactly discount her. There wasn’t a single other reason Hailey could think a random woman would be on her doorstep at quarter to eight in the morning asking to speak to her husband.

"Um, I suppose if you’re his wife?" She stammered, looking down at the little girl, who was looking up at Hailey with an expression she couldn’t quite read. "I’m from DCFS. The paperwork is pretty clear that in the event Ms Lindsay wasn’t able to care for her then Katherine here needs to go straight to Mr Halstead for him to take custody. I’ll have to check with my boss, but if you’re his wife I guess it’s the same thing."

It was like Hailey’s brain was buffering as she tried to process the information that had just been thrown at her. The fact she’d spent the previous night drinking to spend the day in bed recovering probably didn’t help. "I’m sorry, I’m going to need you to explain that. From the beginning."

"This is Katherine. Mr Halstead’s daughter." Hailey’s hangover could wait. She had more important things to deal with.

[shiggyscumrag]

How the MHA boys react to their chubby s/o wearing their clothes<3

I also plan on making a demon slayer and haikyuu version so look out for that hoessss

Midoriya Izuku

Dude he would flip, but like in a positive way-

He would get so flustered and immediately start muttering on and on about how pretty you look and try to poorly hide his embarrassment

He would find it really cute, plus he wears slightly bigger sized shirts so it wouldnt fit to tight on you

And even if it did he would find it absolutely adorable

You wearing one of his shirts that literally say "shirt" and a pair of his sweats to go along with it and it would be one of his new favorite things

He would ask if he could take a picture to save as his new homescreen deadass

He just cant get over how adorbale you look so of course hes gonna get all flustered and lovey dovey

10/10 would cuddle you for the rest of the night and not let you leave. Sleepover timeeeee

"What are you wearing?" He said as he stumbled across you in one of his shirts and sweats. You were bored and uncomfy in your jeans and tshirt so you decided it was a good idea to steal some of your boyfriends clothes to get more comfortable. Of course he was a little smaller in size then you but it would still work.

"I got uncomfortable and I thought you wouldn't mind if I borrowed some clothes to change into. I can change if you want-"

"No no no, you're okay! I mean I like you in my clothes, and I'm glad they make you comfortable! I just didnt know what you were doing and I was a little confused at first but you look really cute so I really don't mind at all, I swear! I was just a little startled-" you were interrupted by Izuku's rambling. He always did this when he was nervous. All you could really do is chuckle, and have your cheeks blush slightly at the compliments while getting comfy on his bed.

Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou thought it was a dumb idea at first, like he just didnt get it

Though after your persistent meddling he gave in and gave you one of his shirts

After you put it on and showed him he got all flustered and very horny

He felt weirdly proud about it, it was like a way of marking you as his and he liked that

And omg when you stole and wore a pair of his boxers, he fucking malfunctioned. Heres how the scenario would go in my head-

"Welcome back Katsuki!" You said cheerfully from further inside his dorm.

"Ah, what are you doing here shitty woman! I'm tired and want to go to bed-" he stopped mid sentence when he saw you laying on his bed in his boxers and his classic skull tshirt. He didnt realize how horny he had been but now the bulge in his pants was very prominent and uncomfortably tight.

"See something you like katsu?" You teased. You knew he had been stressed from interning lately and I mean so have you, so why not kill two birds with one stone?

"Hell yeah I do." He said crossing the room fast and finding your lips. A heated makeout session started, you had sat up and placed your hands on his chest starting to undo his tie and unbutton his uniform shirt. He pulled away and smirked grabbing you by the chin making you look at him.

"You're such a naughty girl." He pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, hissing when the cool air hit his cock. "Now get to sucking slut." You smirked and went down to lick his slit, some pre hitting your taste buds making you mewl. You began to bob your head at a steady pace. He groaned as his head fell back, a hand falling behind your head guiding your movements.

"Such a good little slut for me. Got any panties under here?" He said snapping the elastic of his boxers, leaving a delicious sting on your hip. You hummed causing another groan to rip through his throat. He pulled you off his cock with a pop.

"Is that a yes or a no sweet cheeks?" He said dragging his thumb against your drool soaked lips

"No sir, I dont have any panties on." You say, eyes half lidded and full of lust.

"Good answer-" He started as he pinned you down on the bed and left a chaste kiss on your lips. "Cause I was gonna take em' off anyways."

Kirishima Eijiro

When you first ask if you could borrow a shirt and pants to wear to sleep in his dorm he gladly excepted

He found it to be quote on quote "the manliest thing ever"

He would feel bad that his clothes are tight on you so he buys a couple over sized ones and wears them to get them to smell like him and next time you come to trade out hoodies he gives you those in hopes it'll make you feel more comfy

He would def also steal your clothes

He would love to wear your hoodies around the dorm and flex about having them

He loves that you feel comfortable enough to wear his clothes and to also let him wear yours

It's a trust and comfort thing that he finds the most adorbale

It makes him feel so happy, you make him so happy<3

You heard a knock on your door. You got up from your bed and made your way to the door as whoever it was continued to knock. You opened it up to see a red head with sharp teeth grinning widely at you.

"Hey kiri!" You said wrapping your arms around his neck as you leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek. He wrapped one arm around your waist and chuckled at your kiss.

"I came by to swap hoodies again! Yours stopped smelling like you." He said with a pout on his lips.

"Ah its okay baby, I'll give you another one!" You said with a smile.

Todoroki Shouto

Shouto would be confused on why exactly you would want to wear his clothes when you have your own that are perfectly fine

But he would still find it oddly comforting and very cute

He didn't really know that was a thing that couples do, you know trading clothes

So you would steal his hoodies and you would give him yours to sleep in

Dude he would get so happy

He would put your hoodie on for the first time alone in his dorm after you dropped it off and gave him a kiss goodnight

So he puts it on and just feels so comfy and at home in a sense. He just feels so calm and at peace with the world

Plus when he realizes it smells like you he goes wild

Would sleep in it every night and every morning he would fold it neatly and place it on his pillow so that when he gets home after a long day of class and interning with his dad he can wear it straight out his shower and smell your scent and be able to go to sleep peacefully that night

He can only hope his hoodies make you feel the same way yours do to him

"I can have this?" He says holding out the hoodie of yours you just gave him to be able to wear, a stoic expression still painted on his face.

"Well yeah! I thought since you let me have yours that you could have mine!" You said with a smile. Shoto couldn't help the heat that started to flush his face. He never knew that this is what couples do. He just knew they cuddled, kissed, held hands, and went on dates. He didn't know you could exchange clothing as a form of affection, but when you asked to have one of his hoodies he did love the idea of you wearing them. Shoto liked it even more when he saw you around the dorm in them.

"Thank you y/n. I appreciate it greatly." He spoke.

"Of course roni!" You said leaning in and pecking his lips "Goodnight, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!" You said skipping towards the girls dorms.

"Goodnight. Sleep well." He said softly. You smiled and waved goodbye. Once you rounded the corner and he could no longer see you he entered his room now staring at the hoodie once again.

He pushed the hoodie over his head and put his arms through. He adjusted the material until he was comfortable. He looked in the mirror and stated to go red. He was wearing your hoodie. He started to get this euphoric feeling of relief. A sense of home is what he felt while wearing it. He tucked himself into bed and laid his head on his pillow when he got a sudden whiff of your scent. It smelled like you too. He felt even more comfy now. He went to sleep peacefully that night. It felt like he was going to sleep in your arms. It was amazing. He now wears it every night and when it doesnt smell like you anymore he asks for you to wear it to make it smell like you again. You have definitely created a monster-

Mezo Shoji

Shoji is a pretty big fella and because of his quirk his clothes are kinda unique

BUT his pants and boxers are normal and can fit you fairly well

I feel like he would also get over sized clothes to lounge in so he feels less restricted so that's a bonus for you

So now you steal his pants all the time when your too lazy to go to your dorm and change or if you haven't done laundry and your out of comfy clothes

Plus you steal his boxers to basically substitute them as spandex shorts

I feel like he wouldnt know that he would like seeing you in his clothes until he did and he would get really happy.

And he finds it incredibly sexy when you wear his boxers, like damn you finna get WRECK-

You have once again stolen one of Shojis pair of boxers to wear as spandex, cause their just so comfy! Your boyfriend was currently downstairs in the kitchen getting you guys snacks for your movie night in his dorm.

You had gotten one his boxers and hid your panties in your pants and folded them nicely over on the nightstand. He came in with his hands full of popcorn, candy, and drinks. Not the healthiest but for sure yummy!

"Here let me help bubs!" You say getting out from under the blanket and standing to help grab stuff from his hands. He stared down at your lower stomach, hips, and thighs seeing them covered in the print of one his boxers. He was used to you stealing his pants and boxers but their was something different this time. Something in him snapped. "You okay Shoji?" You asked placing your hands on his chest after already setting the drinks and candy down. Popcorn still in one hand he took the other and stroked your cheek.

"I'm okay love. I see you stole my boxers again." One of his arms finding its place to settle on your hip.

"Oh yeah I did. I didn't feel like running back all the way to my dorm just to change." You spoke "Is that okay?" You asked, a silent plead in your eyes for it to be okay with him.

"Yeah it's okay." He said bending down and nuzzling his cheek against yours. You hummed in contentment before speaking.

"I'll get the movie ready!" You said running over to his laptop on his desk across the room. Shoji saw your pants folded neatly on his night stand where he was gonna set the popcorn and drinks so they were easier to reach. He set down the popcorn on the bed and picked up your pants accidentally unfolding them and causing your panties to fall on the floor at his feet. A flush crossed Shojis face, a scorching heat firing through his body. This is the straw that broke the camel's back.

You couldn't figure out what movie you wanted to watch. You just scrolled and scrolled and scrolled through Netflix's recommended page finding absolutely nothing. Next thing you knew you felt Shojis hands wrap around you waist and his face right next to your ear.

"Shoji what are you-"

"No panties huh?" He interrupted.

That's all you needed to hear to know you were gonna have a long night filled with hours of unwatched watched movies and a bunch of screens saying "Are you still watching?"

Hanta Sero

He would praise the ever loving dog snot out of your bro

Dude he would praise you left and right, up and down, side to side which is basically the same thing as left to right but we wont talk about it

He absolutely loves it

He never knew he needed this until now and he is never going back

He loves how you look in his clothes so he would for sure start getting slightly oversized stuff so it will fit you more comfortably so you dont have an excuse not to wear his clothes

Even though he would be perfectly content if you only wore them in his dorm, he just wants you in his clothes now 24/7

He would also steal your clothes<3 and he would always say he likes how they smell like you AHHHHHHH

"Come on, do a little twirl for me!" Sero teased as he spun his finger around in a circle.

"Sero!" You said, you could feel your face growing hotter by the second. He loved when you got all hit and bothered by his praise so he always teases you.

"You just look so damn good~" he said as he snaked his arms around your waist. He leaned in making you eager and lean in as well. Just as your about to kiss he pulls away.

"Sero stop teasing!" You whisper shout, a bit of whine in your voice.

That's when he leaned down fully and gave you a kiss on your lips. You depended the kiss and started a full on make out session. His hands trailed down to your ass grabbing it firmly cause a gasp from you. He took that as a chance to slip his tongue in. After a couple minutes you both pulled away for air, slightly panting and a string of salvia connecting your lips.

"You look really cute in my clothes but I think they'd look cutest on the floor-"

[whisker-biscuit]

The Birds, The Bees, and The Bottles

Fandom: Psychonauts

Rating: T for mild language and discussions of underage drinking

Summary: Two teens are caught trying to sneak into a bar. Bob finally has a conversation he’s held off for far too long.

Because herbaphony is not the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family.

-------------------------------------

Bob’s phone rang at two in the morning. Judging by the jolly ringtone of Helmut singing Strawberry Fields Forever, it was his personal phone instead of his work one, and that was the real tip off to things being very, very wrong.

He woke up and groggily pulled out of his still-slumbering-husband’s arms to answer the little thing going off on his nightstand.

“H’lo?”

“Bob!” Truman’s voice came out far too loud for the time of night, and far too stressed. “Bob, I’m so sorry to wake you, but something happened with Lili. I need you to pick her up for me, please.”

The older man sat up, much more awake as worry and fear immediately rolled in his gut. Helmut finally began to stir beside him, sensing his partner’s agitation.

“Truman, what’s going on? Pick Lili up from where?”

“The city’s police precinct on Abbey Avenue. She – she called me, but I’m out of state and I wouldn’t get there for hours at least even if I left this instant. She’s not in danger!” He added hastily, hearing the concern before Bob could even voice it mentally. “She didn’t get hurt! She’s just…”

The way he tapered off, the way he hesitated, said more than words could.

“She just got herself into some trouble, and she needs someone to go get her.”

Helmut was sitting up now, and Bob felt the question cross their mental link.

 What happened?

 Truman needs me to pick Lili up from the police station.

“I’m up, I’m on my way right now,” He responded to his nephew verbally, heaving himself out of bed. His husband followed suit despite still looking extremely puzzled, bless him.

“Thank you so much, Bob. I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The older man waved a dismissive hand even though Truman wasn’t there to see it. “Family is s’pposed to do that for each other anyway.”

“Did I hear that right? Our peppy petunia had a run-in with the law?” Helmut asked as soon as his partner hung up. He paused, and in a lower tone – “she didn’t kill anyone, did she?”

“I don’t think it’s that serious,” Bob said, pulling a coat on over his sleep shirt. “But something tells me we still have a few things to worry about. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Ohohoh, no, don’t even think about hoofin’ it without me. We both know I’m the better driver.”

“Neither of us are very good drivers, Helmut.”

“Exactly! That little bit makes all the difference!”

The herbophanist sighed, charmed despite himself and the situation. “Alright, alright. Let’s not keep her waiting.”

The police precinct was nearly dead at this time of night. While it would’ve felt eerie to anyone else, Bob was grateful for the lack of people, and not just because he was still an introvert of the highest degree.

Two teenagers awaited them in the lobby, sitting on a bench together. One was hunched over and burning a hole in the ground with his downcast eyes. The other sat straight up, defiant, holding a glaring contest with the officer standing over them. When Bob entered the room first and met his great-niece’s eyes, her self-assuredness wavered for a brief moment. She hid the slip-up behind a wall of indifference.

“Lili,” he said softly. Then, just as softly but with a gruff tinge of surprise; “Razputin.”

There was no accusation in his voice, but the former scowled harder and the latter looked like he wanted to employ his invisibility. Bob studied them both a moment before his husband appeared and broke the tension with his mere presence.

“We’re here to bust you out, kiddos!” He announced with spread arms, cheerfully ignoring the looks he received from every person in the room.

“Are you Truman Zanotto?” Asked the officer who finally broke his gaze away from Lili to give them a disapproving once-over.

“No, I’m uh, I’m Bob Zanotto, and this is Helmut,” came the awkward reply. “Truman called me to pick Lili up. She’s my great-niece.”

A few seconds of silence passed as the officer made no move to do anything with that information. Bob cleared his throat.

“We’re, uh, listed in her emergency contacts for school?”

“I see. If you can just fill out some paperwork first, we can release her into your custody.”

The herbophanist watched the way Raz seemed to sink further in his seat at the mention of family contacts. The Aquatos were also out of state right now too, if he remembered correctly. Perfect timing for two minors getting up to mischief.

Well, up until they were actually caught.

“And…Razputin, too?” He asked, catching the teen’s startled gaze and giving him the mental equivalent of a thumbs-up.

The officer raised a brow. “Is he related to you, too?”

“Well, uh –”

“Yep!” Helmut interrupted, strolling right up to Raz and giving him a merry clap on the back. The teen had a physique comparable to most adult Olympic athletes, but even he nearly toppled forward from the force of such a big man. “He’s my third cousin, twice removed. Big family. Very close. Holidays are an experience, lemme tell ya!”

“Fine,” the officer pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, okay, I’ll make sure he gets cleared for release too. I’ll be right back.”

He stalked off, muttering something about it ‘being too damn early for this’, and the older couple turned to face Raz and Lili. Helmut steepled his fingers together to rest against his mustache.

“So! Now that Officer Spoil-Sport is gone, are we allowed to know what heinous crime has been committed in the night by my favorite pair of mischief-makers?”

The two glanced at each other. Raz was the one to break their silence.

“We, uh…got caught sneaking into a bar.”

Cold heat rushed through Bob’s core. Helmut blinked once, twice, then let out a boisterous chuckle.

“That’s it? Jesus! From the way you two were acting I thought you’d robbed the First National Bank.”

“…Helmut.” His husband murmured. The psi-king lost his mirth as he caught Bob’s eye.

“Ah…w-well, y’know, while I’m certainly glad we won’t hear about a righteous homicide in the news tomorrow, forgery ain’t exactly a humble hobby either.”

“It was just two IDs,” Lili muttered under her breath. “Not a big deal.”

The ice in her great-uncle’s heart turned frigid, but before he or Helmut could say anything to that, the officer was back. He shoved a handful of forms under Bob’s nose and the herbophanist fumbled to grab them before they all tumbled to the floor.

“Uh, uh, thank you.”

“Alright, we’re putting the pause on this conversation to make you free citizens again, but don’t think that means we’re done with it.” The Psi-King gave the teens the sternest look he could manage. “As soon as we get in the car, you two will have a lot of explaining to do.”

“O-Okay.”

“Uh-huh.”

------------------------------------

No one spoke a word as they got in the car and started the drive back.

Raz seemed content to continue his efforts to blend in with the background of his seat, still not meeting anyone’s eyes, and Lili stared out the window with her chin in her hand, leaning against the car’s backdoor and letting the lights of the city bathe her in neon sickness.

Helmut, bless his soul, dutifully kept the radio going while he drove, changing the station to something more mellow whenever a song started getting a little too upbeat for the collective mood of the vehicle. Bob sat in the passenger side with his arms folded awkwardly. His brain was buzzing, dreading the inevitable conversation he needed to have with his great-niece and trying to figure out how he was going to go about it.

It surprised them all when Raz spoke over the music.

“It was my idea.”

The two adults glanced at each other, then through the rearview mirror at the fidgeting teen.

“Your idea to go looking for a drink? Or to sneak into a bar to do it?” Helmut asked, turning off the radio.

“Both.”

He still wasn’t meeting their eyes. Bob sighed through his nose.

“I don’t believe you.”

Razputin’s head finally snapped up to stare at him in shock for the fast call on his bluff. “I’m telling the truth!”

“I think you’re only telling part of it, kid.”

“No! I’m telling all of it.”

“Razpu-”

“Oh, come off it, Raz,” Lili snapped a little too loud, making the whole car jump. “Quit trying to take the fall for me. It was my idea to try the stupid fake ID thing, okay? Happy now?”

“Wh – uh, who said anything about being happy about it?” Helmut asked, legitimately confused.

“Look. Neither of us had anything to do tonight, and we were bored, so Raz suggested getting a drink somewhere, but Adam and Lizzie are out of town so we couldn’t ask them.” She crossed her arms and spoke without any inflection. “So, we went out but no one would let us do anything cause we’re minors. I thought that was stupid, because we’re agents same as any of you, so I came up with the sneaking-in part. We only got caught cause one of the bartenders recognized Raz from a show.”

There were a lot of loaded things to parse through from that explanation, but Bob’s mind stalled on one particular detail.

“Adam and Lizzie give you two alcohol?”

“Not…often,” Raz admitted. “Just once or twice, when we asked.”

“Do you mean like, a literal once or twice, or a…an estimated once or twice?”

“Did Dad put you up to this?” Lili shot back. “It was just a few times, like he said. What’s with the inquisition?”

“…Lili –”

 “Raz.”

“Okay!” Helmut proclaimed as he slapped his hand against the steering wheel in boisterous aggression. “Who wants some ice cream?”

Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Cause I’m really feeling some chocolate-vanilla swirl right now. Basic bitch style. Right? Who’s with me?”

Silence.

“Great! Look at that, open Dairy King right there, better take advantage of this opportunity before it slips through our fingers like the melting ice cream we’re all gonna have in about five minutes!”

The psi-king swung into the parking lot in a frenzy and herded the car crew inside before any of them could come out of their shock long enough to protest. It was only as Bob was staring up at fifteen flavors of oversaturated sugary goodness that he realized what had just happened.

He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief over his husband’s diversion. The tension that had been boiling over was cooled significantly by the sudden non-sequitur, and while the teens were rather half-hearted about picking out their sweet treats, there was no longer a risk of an explosion happening.

Metaphorically and literally.

Helmut caught his spouse’s eye with a meaningful look at Lili the moment all of them had their orders in hand, then slung his arm around Razputin’s shoulders and steered him away. “C’mon my lad! Nothing like the cool night air of three in the morning to keep your Hurricane ™ properly chilled!”

The poor boy had no choice but to let himself be pulled outside, leaving the two Zanottos standing awkwardly in the dingy restaurant. Bob gave a nervous scratch at his chin under his beard.

“How about we, uh, find a seat somewhere?”

Lili couldn’t fully cross her arms while holding ice cream, but she did a good job of making it work anyway. “Sure.”

They sat in a booth in the farthest corner from the front counter. Both great-niece and great-uncle stared at their respective sweet treats as if they could teleport them out of this situation. Bob glanced out the window and saw Helmut and Raz standing outside of the car. The former was on one knee with his hand on the teen’s shoulder, speaking earnestly but inaudibly, and the latter was scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the asphalt.

“Are you going to lecture me?” Lili finally cut through the silence.

Bob turned back to her. “No. Not really.”

“No?” She broke her gaze away from her ice cream just a little bit, eyeing him with surprise. “Then why did Helmut take Raz and leave us alone?”

She was so perceptive, so smart. And yet, still so young.

“Well, I… I still want to talk to you about what happened. I’m just not very, good, at this kind of thing.” He took his spoon and absentmindedly began drawing a flower in his soft-serve. “You already know what you did wasn’t a good idea, right? So I don’t think a lecture would help things any on that front.”

She didn’t respond. He continued.

“It’s less about the fake ID and more…the reasons you made the fake ID. Does that make sense?”

“I guess so, but I know what I’m doing, Uncle Bob. I’m not going to drink irresponsibly.”

The herbophanist shook his head. “But you’ll do irresponsible things to be able to drink in the first place.”

“That’s not –” Lili didn’t have a good rebuttal. She folded her arms and grumpily started eating her cherry chocolate delight. “Whatever. It’s two different things, anyway.”

Against his better judgement, Bob began picking at his own food as he thought about how best to bring the subject back up without making the teen defensive again. Spoons clicking against teeth was the only sound between them for a solid minute.

Finally, an epiphany.

“Did Truman ever…tell you anything, about your great-grandma?”

The girl paused with a bite halfway up to her mouth. She frowned, confused. “Grandma Tia? Not much. Just that she died when he was a baby.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she did.” He ran a tired hand over his face. The ache in his heart might have long-since healed into a scar, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when pressed. “She passed away when I was nineteen. The doctors told me it was liver failure.”

He didn’t have to say anything else. Lili’s mouth thinned and she put her spoon down, uncomfortable.

“When I…found out the reason behind her death, I was horrified by it. It didn’t make sense to me why she would willingly do something that hurt her so badly, especially when I was right there to love her and help her. It felt like a betrayal that she never got help or made herself stop. I was…disgusted by the mere thought of doing anything like that.”

Bob took a moment to breathe and wipe his eyes. He wasn’t crying, but better safe than sorry.

“It sounds pretty hypocritical when I say it now, doesn’t it?”

His great-niece only gave him a hesitant look.

“Anyway, uh, where was I…” He worried his lip. “Oh, right. I told myself that I’d never touch the stuff after that. I was angry at what she’d done, and I was determined not to have the same ‘weakness’, so to speak. As you know, it, uh, it didn’t last long. I was at a college party barely a year later when I was invited by some friends to drink with them. I didn’t make human friends very easily back then – actually, I still don’t – so I was a little desperate to keep them. It turned out to be pretty hard whiskey, so I got hammered.”

The man leaned back in his seat, staring at the patterns in the booth table.

“Back then, no one really knew how alcoholism could run in a family. Everyone thought it was a personal choice to keep drinking. It wasn’t even classified as an addiction yet. So I didn’t know how susceptible I was, or how careful I had to be. I’d spend months not having a single drink, thinking I was fine and could handle myself, and then I’d get plastered for a week at parties and bars and God knows what else, and it would take me even longer to get myself to stop again. It was like that even when I was with Ford and his gang. It wasn’t until I started dating Helmut that I started trying to change those habits. I’d never met anyone who loved me so unconditionally that I wanted to be a better person for them, until him. And it worked for a while.

“Well, barring our wedding, of course. I got shitfaced at the reception. It was embarrassing afterwards, but Helmut told me it made our cake-eating ceremony a hell of a great time.”

Lili snorted, and it was accompanied by a tiny upturn of her lips. Then it dropped as her expression became solemn. “And then…everything with Maligula happened, right?”

“Yeah. I think you know the rest of that story.”

“Uh-huh.”

Great-niece and great-uncle sat together for a while, just thinking about it all.

“I know I have to be more careful drinking than a lot of people, Uncle Bob,” Lili finally said at length. “My dad warned me about it when I was old enough to ask.”

“Truman is a good dad,” he murmured in response.

“The best dad.”

“Definitely the best dad.”

More silence.

“I didn’t mean to worry you and him,” she continued. “Or scare you. I know it was dumb to do what we did tonight.”

Bob looked at her, and she gave a conceding sigh.

“Okay, it was dumb to do a lot of what we’ve been doing with this stuff. That doesn’t mean I’m not being careful.”

“Kid, it’s not always just a matter of being careful. I thought I was being careful. I thought that for years and years, and when I finally realized I wasn’t, I convinced myself I could stop any time I wanted to, and kept up the same patterns anyway. That’s what I’m trying to get you to understand. I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. I’m just worried about you.”

Lili closed her eyes with a grimace. “I know. I’m sorry, Uncle Bob.”

“Hey, kiddo, look at me.” He waited until she did so. “I’m not mad at you. I’m not disappointed, either. That’s your dad’s job. I get it, is what I’m saying. It gives you a buzz, and it’s fun and exciting, and you just wanted to have a good time with your, uh…”

Bob leaned in a bit, and dropped his voice to a stage whisper.

“Is Raz still your boyfriend?”

“Wha –” her cheeks went red. “Yes, he is!”

“Alright, sorry, I’m just always out of the loop. No one ever tells me when these things change or not. Anyway,” he continued before she could get brighter than the cherries in her ice cream. “I’m just saying that you gotta be more than careful with this kind of thing. Everyone should be, really, but especially people like us. Plants aren’t the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family, unfortunately, so we just have to be aware of it and act accordingly.”

The teen turned this over in her mind. He could practically see the gears moving. When she looked at him again, it was with a slow, contemplative nod.

“No more late-night bar-hopping?” Her great-uncle asked.

“No more late-night bar-hopping.” She answered, sincere.

“Good.” He looked outside. Helmut and Raz were both lying on the front of the car, pointing out stars to each other. The sight made him smile. “Come on, we’ll work on that whole thing about Adam and Lizzie giving you alcohol another time, when it’s not three in the morning. For now, let’s rejoin our boys again and go get some rest, okay?”

“Okay.” Lili slid out of the booth and tentatively took her family member’s hand. His fingers squeezed hers in reassurance. “And...thanks, Uncle Bob.”

“Well, what can I say. Us weird Zanotto plant people hafta look out for each other, right?”

“Right.”

They walked out together, hand-in-hand.

------------------------------

A/N: I knew from promotional material that we'd be going into the mind of someone struggling with alcoholism, but Bob's Bottles punched me hard in the gut. It's probably my favorite mind in the game, both because it's visually gorgeous and because it hit a little close to home with some of the themes, like generational alcoholism and how the addiction can make someone a shell of themselves.

I wrote half of this three weeks ago and then found myself really struggling to finish it because it brought up a lot of old feelings I thought I'd sorted through a long time ago.

Psychonauts, man.

[nottodayjjk]

dirty little secret ~ knj

❆ summary: one fateful night in december, you come to acquire santa's naughty or nice list by accident. together with your neighbour and best friend namjoon you uncover the dirty secrets of your neighbours plunging everything into chaos. bringing mischief about is all fun games, until your own little secret appears on the naughty and nice list.

❆ pairing: namjoon x female reader (minor appearance of other idols)

❆ word count: 10,4k

❆ genre: humor, romance, fluff, smut

❆ fic warnings: oral sex (f. receiving), language

❆ rating: 18+

❆ notes from the author: this fic is part of a hoeliday well spent from the christmas in july collab hosted by @kookdiaries​, @kithtaehyung​ and @xiaokoo​ and is loosely based on the hallmark channel-movie ‘naughty or nice’ (2012). i had a lot of fun writing this! big thank you again to @kookdiaries for creating this incredible banner and for @minigum for being the most wonderful beta reader <3

❆ tag list: @shameless-army​​ @writtenwhalien​​ @shrimpmsg​​ @moonchild1​

In the dark of the night, snow was falling softly and covered the street in peaceful quietness. Christmas decorations and flickering candles adorned the lit windows and lights were beautifully draped around snow-covered bushes. Sparkling reindeers pulled Santa’s carriage and inflated snowmen waved happily at cars driving by. Christmas time had just begun.

A few lamps illuminated the street with their yellow dimmed light as a dark, giant shadow slipped past. Quiet footsteps could be heard in the stillness of the cold winter night, wading through ankle-deep snow in heavy black boots. They were on their way to the sturdy apartment building on the left side of the desolate street, determined to fulfil their quest. They took another look around before they slipped through the glass door, the red fabric of their clothes gleamed under the flickering light of the broken lamp of the entrance lobby. Then, the night was quiet again.

You had been out with your best friend and next-door neighbour Namjoon whom you knew a few years by now. From the first day you had set foot in the small apartment building, he had been a helping hand, mainly through helping you carry a myriad of small boxes and things all the way up to the 6th floor where the both of you lived. The elevator had, of course, been out of order on that day. But he hadn’t complained at all! And because he had gone way out of his way even though he had only met you that same day, you had invited him to a take-away pizza and a bottle of cheap wine from the supermarket right around the corner. You had not expected your first night in your new home to be like this, to be so much fun. He had stayed until the morning, the two of you talking about anything and everything until the birds had chirped good morning outside. And the bond between the two of you had only grown from there on out.

You had visited a local Christmas market together, drinking a whole lot of eggnog and relishing in the joyful spirit of Christmas. You had never been someone to celebrate Christmas before you had met Namjoon. In your first year, he had basically dragged you to the market and filled you up with all kinds of different Christmassy drinks and snacks, bought you several gingerbread hearts, and even got you to ride one of the many attractions with him. The next day had been awful, the hot chocolate with rum had come out the same way that it had gone in. Still, it had been the most joyous Christmas time you had ever had.

Ever since then, he always did something new with you every Christmas. Buying a tree, seeing a Santa Claus show in the city centre, or writing letters with long wish lists to Santa. But it had never come down to actually spending Christmas eve and morning together, to your disappointment. He usually drove to his parents, a three-hour ride from where you lived, leaving you on your own to sulk in loneliness until he came back for New Year’s Eve.

Well, this year he had bugged you until you had agreed to go décor shopping for your apartment with him. It had made him sad to see your living space so empty during a cheery time like this. He got you all the basic things: fairy lights, cute little snowmen that had the friendliest smiles, a whole lot of candlesticks with red candles that smelled like gingerbread and cinnamon, hell, even glitter balls and bows for the small tree he also had gotten you.

After putting all the decorations up and “to celebrate your joyful shopping spree”, as Namjoon had called it, he had once again persuaded you to go to the Christmas market, letting no feeble excuses count. He had been in too good of a mood anyway for you to turn him down. You found it cute when he was all excited and giddy like this.

He had ordered eggnog after eggnog. His infectious enthusiasm had only gone up, not down a tad as you had hoped. But after the third eggnog, you hadn’t minded anymore anyway. Namjoon had entertained you all through the evening, making you laugh and enjoy yourself after a long week of studying and learning. Even though it had just snowed the other day, the eggnog had held you warm through and through, your cheeks feeling hot. Maybe it had also been a little bit because of Namjoon and how he had scooted closer and closer to you throughout the evening, ‘to keep each other warm’ as he had stated.

You had stayed until the booth had closed and the owner had hushed you to finally head home. Given both of your inebriated states, getting home had taken twice as long as it did when you’d left from home to go out.

As you had reached the door, waving a last goodbye to Namjoon who had stumbled clumsily into his own apartment, it had taken you a few minutes until you finally had gotten the key into the hole. You hadn’t even bothered to brush your teeth, only changing into comfy pyjamas – which had been quite the task – and slipping into bed. Dreamland hadn’t waited long to come, and you had fallen sound asleep.

So, to no one’s surprise, you didn’t hear when soft but heavy footsteps approached your apartment in the middle of the night. Didn’t spot the broad shadow that could be seen through the small gap under your door where the light fell in. Didn’t notice when a thick package wrapped with packing paper was pushed through the letter slot of your apartment door.

The package fell to the ground with a gentle thud. The towering figure hummed a merry tune before taking off again. You only turned around in your sleep, mumbling, “No more eggnog, Namjoon”, before it was quiet once more.

The rest of the night went uneventfully, and the package laid peacefully on your door mat until morning came.

A pounding headache. That was what had woken you up. The eggnog hadn’t been a good idea from the start, and you had told Namjoon several times. But even though he had listened to you, he had ignored your reasonable request. He hadn’t really given you a choice to begin with. And you hadn’t wanted to complain. At least he had paid and that was all that had been needed to convince you.

While Namjoon was already producing his own music, you were still a university student majoring in Art. You got by fine with the money your parents sent you and what you earned from your part-time job at the library, but you were still glad for every penny you could keep and save for after university. You dreamed of opening your own business and, heck, you needed a lot of money for that.

When Namjoon had heard of your ideas, he had been in immediately, supporting you in every way possible. Even if it meant paying for your drinks or your museum visits on the weekend. As long as he got to spend time with you, it was worth all his money.

You desperately grabbled for the nightstand. Luckily, you had prepared pain meds and water in advance, even a small piece of toast. Your nights out with Namjoon usually ended like this, so you are accustomed to it.

Sitting up a little, you popped the pills into your mouth first before chucking the water into your throat as if your life depended on it. Once you’d dealt with that, you reached towards the toast, munching on it until it was no more.

You felt better immediately as the medicine worked its way through your system and the toast soaked up the remaining alcohol in your stomach. Slowly the turns in your stomach lessened and until there was one thing overtaking your needs. It was time for coffee.

Slowly, you got up, swaying a little back onto the bed but overall, it was not as bad as you’d had expected. Sure, the eggnog had made your stomach a little weak, but you felt certain it could handle the coffee. Otherwise, you couldn’t make it through the day. Coffee was vital right now.

On the way out of your bedroom, you snatched your long silk gown, putting it on. You headed straight to the coffee machine, pushing the little blinking button so it started grinding the black beans. The soft smell of freshly ground coffee filled the air as you grabbed a big mug from the sink. You sighed and leaned one hip on the counter.

As you waited for the coffee you looked around and your gaze fell onto an exceptionally cheery snowman on your coffee table. You had never been keen on Christmas decorations. They were too bright, too colourful, and too cheesy.

Well, jokes on you. All the things the two of you had bought, the fairy lights, red candles, a few reindeers and snowmen, and some green fir branches, were now spread around your apartment, the small tree chilling next to your TV in the corner. It was hard to say ‘No’ to Namjoon’s puppy eyes. He usually got his way with you.

It had also been his idea to not only put the lights on the curtain rods but to wind them around them, too. 

He had held you safely by your waist as you had stood on the ladder to reach up there. His long, slender hands had felt so warm through your clothes that your heart had stuttered for a second and you had gotten the job done rather quickly to get away from this weird feeling that had erupted in your chest. Because you couldn’t admit it to yourself. You couldn’t admit that Namjoon had become more than a best friend to you over the last few years.

But you had to confess; the lights were very very pretty. You even thought about keeping them up there after Christmas. They brought a soft glow around the room that made it feel unbelievably cosy and romantic.

As you absentmindedly grabbed for your finished cup of coffee you couldn’t help but remember the way Namjoon’s skin had glowed in these lights. How mesmerizing he had looked. How hard you had had to keep yourself from putting a hand up to one of his cheeks and caressing his soft skin.

You lost yourself in the memory for a second before you noticed something very peculiar from the corner of your eye. Something very square and brown. It was a package. On your doormat. ‘What in god’s name,’ you thought to yourself as you eyed it in curious suspicion. The post usually never came that early. Especially not on a Saturday. And why had no one rang the bell? It was odd, to say the least.

You left your coffee on the counter, steam still rising in puffy clouds from the cup. Cautiously, you made your way over to the mysterious package that read your full address, but no sender. It was quite big, now that you had gotten closer, and it had you wondering how it had fit through the narrow letter slot. Maybe Namjoon was pulling a prank on you?

Before you picked up the package, you opened the door and checked the hallway, frantically looking left and right. But no one was there, not even Namjoon to cheekily grin at you.

Closing the door behind you, you took the brown package and laid it down on the counter next to your coffee. You eyed it once more while taking a long sip from the beverage. Should you open it? What if there was something… bad or deadly inside? You had heard of such packages before on the news. People sent them to get revenge on ex-partners or enemies. Well, you had no such things… and Namjoon seemed to be out of the picture as well.

After some more staring, curiosity finally got the best of you, and you carefully ripped open the brown packing paper. It revealed a heavy book that was edged in red velvety fabric that had golden ornaments engraved. Imprinted on it was the lettering “Naughty or Nice”. Wait- what?!

Snorting laughter erupted from your chest. This had to be a prank, right? ‘Namjoon’s good,’ you thought to yourself. ‘Keeps hiding until I actually look at the book. Not a very good prank, but alright…’

As you were about to open it, you could hear a key jingling in front of your door and some mumbled curses. ‘Speaking of the devil.’ Namjoon strode through the door in his pyjama and a long gown, his hair looking dishevelled and eyes still half-closed. He had your spare keys which gave him the possibility to let himself in whenever and you didn’t mind. At this point, it had become commonplace.

You watched with an amused grin as he immediately scuffed over to the coffee machine, grabbing another cup from the sink, and turning it on once more. He inhaled the smell just like you did before he turned around to face you.

“Morning, Y/N,” he hummed, and a lop-sided grin adorned his lips. Hell, how did this sleepy look fit him so well? “How is your stomach?”

You crossed your arms and leant back on the counter. “Better than I thought. You?”

“Same, same. I just really craved your coffee. This machine is a literal angel!” He turned back around to grab his coffee and take a big gulp before letting out a satisfied sigh.

“Very funny, by the way.” You pointed at the book behind you, still laying unopened on your counter. “You never have Christmas-pranked me before so that’s a first. But it isn’t one of your best ideas, if I can be honest with you.”

There was a moment of silence. You had expected him to laugh at you or make a clever remark about how he had gotten you to open it. But… nothing. He just blankly stared at you. “What?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Making this book look like Santa’s Naughty or Nice list? Very funny, Namjoon, very funny!” You chuckled a little at him pretending not to know what you were talking about.

He spied over your shoulder, reading the lettering. And shook his head. “Y/N. I… didn’t prank you. This–“ He pointed to the book. “–is nothing I came up with. Though I must say, I think it’s a pretty good idea!” He snickered a little and took another sip of his coffee.

“But–“ You turned around to the book. “–who sent it to me then? I don’t know who else would try and prank me…” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, taking another look at the packing paper. Still nothing but your address.

“Have you opened it yet?”

“No, I was just about to when you came through the door.” You put a hand on the binding. The velvet fabric felt soft under your fingertips and the golden lettering glittered in the glim of the fairy lights. It looked so… real.

Carefully, you opened it, coming face to face with a blank page. Maybe the others? You browsed to the next page. And the next. And the next. But they were all blank, not even a tiny little bit of ink to be seen. ‘Weird…’

Skimming through the rest of the book, you looked for anything peculiar. Nothing. “It’s empty,” you told Namjoon, while going back to the first page and leaving it open.

You heard shuffling on the floor and suddenly Namjoon leaned over your shoulder to look at the book. He stretched out his hand to skim through it as well. He was so close. You could feel the heat radiating off his body and his breath on your neck as he let out a confused huff.

When he stepped back from you after inspecting the book, you wished him back closer behind you. ‘Stop that,’ you scolded yourself in your head. ‘He is your best friend!’

“Well, it actually looks like someone pulled a prank on you,” Namjoon stated while making himself another cup of coffee. He usually runs on three. On a good day. That you knew his coffee consumption so well said a lot about how regularly he came over in the morning to use your coffee machine.

“Apparently…”

Loud bass suddenly disrupted the morning, booming through the wall to your left. ‘No, not again!’ It was your other neighbour… Jungkook. He kept it down on most days. But he always pulled this on a Saturday morning, and you were sure he was doing it on purpose just to annoy you. You had banged on the wall a few times before. On some days he even turned the music down after your knocking complaint. But today, it was on a whole other level. As if he knew you had been out late and had a mild hangover.

“Ugh, I’ll swear I’ll punch him some day,” you mumbled while pinching your eyebrows in frustration.

Namjoon knew you weren’t kidding. Jungkook had been getting on your nerves ever since he had moved in next door. Before him, there lived a nice and quiet lady who occasionally baked chocolate cookies for the two of you and had always put something nice in front of your door during Christmas time. Now, there was Jungkook. Student, party animal, and the type to listen to music so loud you couldn’t hear your own thoughts.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Namjoon said. “But I also don’t want to have to visit you in prison during Christmas time.” He chuckled lightly, running a hand through his hair before chucking down his coffee.

Suddenly, you heard a rustling noise of paper coming from the counter. The book! It was turning its pages on its own. “Holy-“

You stepped in front of the counter, Namjoon following closely, eyes as wide as the moon. “How is that possible?” he whispered while peering over your shoulder again.

A golden light bloomed from the Naughty or Nice book and the two of you just stared at in great awe as sparkles danced around the room. “I’m usually not one to believe in magic,” Namjoon muttered under his breath. “But this is a whole new thing…”

The turning stopped and the pages gently dropped down. Beautiful, curved letters emerged, writing your neighbour’s name. They shone golden in the light. “What is happening?” you hissed while intently watching the book. Namjoon just shrugged his shoulders, speechless.

 Jeon Jungkook: always leaves his trash in front of Mrs. Kim’s apartment door

Underneath was a moving picture, showing Jungkook looking around frantically before putting his trash bag on Mrs. Kim’s doormat and a more detailed description of what was going on. You gasped out in disbelief. “Mrs. Kim is always so nice! How dare he!?”

Namjoon let out an angry huff. “You’ve got a good point but-“ His forehead crinkled in confusion and scepticism. “How does it do that?”

You shrugged, turning the page to see if it had a built-in display. But… there was nothing. It was just a normal page like any other. You turned back to the picture of Jungkook where he had gotten caught in the act. By whom? You didn’t know, could only guess… But no, this was not possible. Santa didn’t exist. But… an idea came to your head.

“Hmm, let’s put this to a test,” you said as the pounding bass continued to boom through the wall. You left the book open, the image of Jungkook engraved in your head, as you turned on your heels and made your way over to the door.

“You actually gonna go over there?” Namjoon trailed behind you, not sure if this was the right thing to do. You definitely had a reason to be angry at Jungkook. But what if this was all just a scam? Well, it felt far too real for that, but Namjoon wasn’t yet ready to call his beliefs into question. This was insane.

You nodded and opened the door. “He has been getting on my nerves for a few weeks now. It’s time to put this to a stop.” You gave him one last determined book before stepping out into the hallway.

Namjoon shook his head in amusement at your vendetta and stopped at your doorstep, leaning against the frame watching you. This was your fight. He wouldn’t get between the frontlines. He knew your anger all too well.

You rapped viciously on the door; quite sure Jungkook wouldn’t hear any of it. And of course, the door didn’t open and the music blared on. So, you resorted to a more effective method. You pressed the button of the bell and held it down. ‘I will have you answer your door even if it takes the whole freaking day.’

It took a few seconds, but you heard the music fading and someone swearing behind the door. It worked. A malicious smirk adorned your lips. You weren’t even nervous, more excited to try the spicy information you had acquired about him. The keys jingled in the keyhole and an annoyed face appeared in the ajar door. “What is it?”

You crossed your arms and put on your most intimidating look. The secret from the book gave you a hell of a confident boost. “Jungkook,” you started, “I’ve told you many many times to quiet it down.”

He rolled his eyes and huffed. “I know. I’m sorry but-“

You cut him off immediately. “No buts. You’re either gonna tone it down from now on or…”

“Or what? You’re trying to threaten me?” He laughed and threw his head back. “That’s new. Well, you’ve got nothing on me, Y/N.”

You squinted your eyes at him, and a smile grew on your face. “You sure?”

Jungkook leaned against the door frame while looking bored. The arrogant look on his face gave you the rest of the encouragement you needed. “Well,” you swirled one of your hair strands around your finger, “I know you’re putting your trash bags on Mrs. Kim’s doormat, so you don’t have to take it out yourself…”

It took a moment for Jungkook to realise what you just said. But when he finally did, his jaw almost dropped down to his knees. “How-“

“The poor woman. I think she deserves to know…” You turned around, feeling the power pulsating in your hands. It was electrifying! You slowly strode over to your apartment.

“Y/N!” Jungkook called out after you, desperation apparent in his voice. “I-“ He dropped his head in defeat, all pride and arrogance had left his body. “If you don’t tell her, I promise I’m gonna tone it down from now on,” he caved in.

“You better,” you just answered and walked away, leaving a speechless Jungkook by his door.

Namjoon snickered as you entered your apartment again, finding the whole situation very amusing. “Have you seen his face? He was so stunned!” Both of you burst out into a fit of laughter, needing a few seconds to calm yourselves down again.

You went back to the still open book. “So it tells the truth…” you stated while tracing the letters with your fingers when they suddenly started to disappear. “Oh! They’re vanishing!”

“Probably because you called him out on that,” Namjoon assumed, looking at the now empty page and then at you. “You know what that means… right?”

You turned it over in your head for a few seconds before you answered Namjoon’s gaze with a mischievous smile. “Let’s discover some secrets this Christmas!”

And so, the two of you went on to discover the hidden secrets and misdeeds of all of your neighbours. The book was never wrong. Not when it told you that Mrs. Kim had a secret fling with Mr. Sung from floor 5 and they were acting like giddy teenagers, that Mrs. Lee let her dog pee on Mrs. Park’s door mat once in a while because they couldn’t stand each other, that Soonyoung from second floor liked to bathe in pure milk occasionally, that Yeji from first floor stole Mr. Chew’s newspaper now and then because he was rude to basically everyone in the building, that Taehyung from fourth floor had sang Christmas carols in the middle of the night for Yeji because he had been out to drink, and many many more.

Some of them you used for your amusement, but most of them were kept between the both of you. You felt closer to Namjoon than ever before. Sharing and keeping secrets about your neighbours bound you together. And Christmas time was a blast, for the both of you! You went out once in a while to the Christmas market again but usually you kept your noses in the Naughty or Nice book, awaiting the next secret to appear. So, Christmas time went by in a happy blur.

After coming home from another one of your merry adventures, you began to realise that this might all be over soon. Actually, Christmas evening was tomorrow already and Namjoon would probably be off to his parents. You didn’t want to stop discovering all these secrets with Namjoon. You had spent a lot of time together; it had been so much fun. And you liked being around him, you knew that. You weren’t ready to admit it, but you had fallen in love with him even more by now. Even after all these years, his way of living and his wisdom still amazed you to no end.

Your thoughts were suddenly disrupted by Namjoon as the both of you reached your apartment door. “Y/N?”

“Yes,” you answered, shaking yourself out of your thoughts. Namjoon stood in front of you, nervously wrenching his hands. You had never seen him skittish before. Had something happened?

He took a deep breath before he began to speak. “I was… wondering if you wanted to spent Christmas together?” Namjoon nervously scratched his head. “I-“ he stumbled over his own words for a moment. “I don’t want you to be alone for Christmas. And my parents won’t be at home anyway. So, I was wondering- I mean-“ He rambled on and gestured wildly between the both of you.

To stop him, you gently put your hand on his arm. “Yes,” you answered simply and smiled at him happily, not able to contain your excitement at his request. Your heart was beating in your chest. Spending Christmas with Namjoon was a dream come true.

“I... would love to.” You rubbed your arm awkwardly while not being able to meet his eyes. You were sure he would be able to read your confused feelings for him right there.

He let out a small huff of relief. “Good, good… We can go grocery shopping together tomorrow if you want. So we can pick something to eat that we both like.”

“That sounds like a great idea. Meet in the morning as usual?” you asked, fidgeting with your jacket sleeve.

Namjoon nodded. “I will cook of course. You will be my guest! Also, your cooking skills might be a little insufficient for Christmas…” Mischievousness gleamed in his eyes and you just shook your head, laughing a little.

“I think my cooking skills are fine as they are. It’s not my fault you don’t like the food that I cook!” you exclaimed and hit his shoulder playfully. “Also, your food might taste better than mine. But you’re definitely more chaotic than I am!”

“Okay, okay,” he put his hands up in defeat. “You’ve got a point. I’m still cooking though.” He took off his beanie to run a hand through his hair. He stretched his arms out, motioning for you to give him a goodbye-hug.

Your skin tingled as you obliged. His hands rested on your back as he tugged you close. “Good night, Y/N,” he whispered into your ear, eliciting a shiver running down your back. Gosh, his voice and his soft lips were hovering right next to your ear. It created images in your head you shouldn’t be thinking about in the proximity of your best friend, but you couldn’t help yourself.

You swallowed a big lump in your throat. “Good night to you too,” you whispered back with a hoarse voice, heart still fluttering. He could hear the rapid beating for sure.

Both of you stayed in the hug longer than necessary, thinking about what would become of your adventures once Christmas was over. You were sure the book would disappear, that its owner would come to get it.

You sighed before stepping away from Namjoon, giving him a small smile before pulling out your keys. He went over to his door, a jingling noise reaching your ears. You looked over your shoulder before entering your apartment.

“Sweet dreams, Y/N,” Namjoon called over in a hushed voice before he disappeared behind his own door. Little did you and he know what effect these last few words would have on you…

Wanton sounds escaped your mouth as your hands grasped fiercely for your sheets. Waves of pleasure rolled through your body as you felt a desperate mouth latching onto your clit, tongue poking out to gratify your little bundle of nerves. Your eyes rolled back into your head. It felt… overwhelming.

You couldn’t hold in a lewd moan as the tongue worked magic on you. “Please–“ You couldn’t form a whole sentence without being interrupted by your own moans.

You felt a hand softly caressing your thigh. “Y/N,” a familiar voice reached your ear, making you perk up. Was this… real? You lifted yourself on your elbows to see if you were right with your guess.

Looking up from between your legs was a tousled Namjoon, cheeks red and lips glistening in the light of your fairy lights. He looked like an angel with his skin glowing golden and his hair illuminated.

It felt like a dream come true…

It wasn’t the morning light waking you up nor the loud traffic noise from the street in front of your apartment building. No. What woke you up was the growing wetness between your legs. Your heart beat loudly in your chest, a light film of sweat covered your forehead. Well, that had been… hot.

You had had dreams of Namjoon before. Funny ones, sad ones, even ones where the two of you had been dating. But with things like this, you had only been daydreaming about thus far. It had you all riled up, a little embarrassed, but first and foremost horny.

His head between your legs and his tongue on your clit had felt so real. Oh, what you’d give to actually get to feel that. But you were sure that it would remain something that stayed in your daydreams, when you had to release some friction behind your bedroom doors.

You sighed, pushing the thick blanket to the side. You had to take care of the mess between your legs and there was only one place that always helped: the shower. You had to get this dream out of your head before Namjoon would come over. Otherwise you wouldn’t be able to look into his eyes without thinking of the sinful scene that repeated itself again and again in your head.

‘Let’s get this over with,’ you pushed yourself to get out of bed and into the shower. As if you didn’t enjoy this…

As you sat down by the book again with a big cup of fresh coffee, you were actually wondering if you’d ever appear on the list. Or Namjoon. And which secret of yours it would be. So far, it hadn’t spilled any of yours. But it would be merely a matter of time until the pages would reveal what you had kept from one another. Even though there were barely any secrets between the two of you. Only this… this was kind of a major one.

Absent-mindedly, you browsed through the book again. What secret would reveal itself today? Maybe about this dude all up on floor 7 that was always wearing a beanie and sunglasses or that girl from over the street that was walking her dog up and down the street.

Someone was entering the apartment. Namjoon rounded the corner and came into your view. He was also still in his morning clothes, his feet hidden beneath two slippers. Your gazes met shortly, a quick nod exchanged and gentle smiles, before he made a turn.

“And?” He strolled over to the coffee machine, slippers scratching on the floor. “Anything new?” He nodded towards the book sprawled out in front of you.

“I haven’t really checked yet, give me a second.” You concentrated back on the book, pages sliding through your fingers as you looked for a new secret until you found it. You didn’t really pay any attention at first. But then you read your name in big, curved letters. A quiet gasp slipped past your lips.

Checking to see if Namjoon was still making coffee, you hoped he was not aware of your little slip up. He happily worked away, putting coffee beans into the machine, whistling ‘Jingle Bells Rock’ to the puckering sound of the milk frother.

Then, you turned your attention back to the book. When you read Has naughty dreams of their best friend in small letters, your heart sped up and your breathing got ragged. Underneath it was, like it had always been the case before, a more detailed description of what had happened. And a picture of you writhing and moaning beneath the sheets. No, why today?!

The words in front of you blurred as you tried to fathom the consequences if Namjoon came to read this. Your friendship would be over. He would never speak to you again. Hell, what would he think of you?!

You couldn’t let that happen. He was the only thing in your life that kept you sane. That could not all be thrown away. You quickly closed the book, thinking of something to distract Namjoon.

Unfortunately, the loud thump startled Namjoon. He turned around as he heard the sudden noise. He eyed you for a second and then noticed the closed book under your hands. He put down the coffee spoon he was holding. “Uhm… Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Your eyes are like�� this wide.” He put a fair distance between his thumb and his pointer finger.

Quickly shaking your head, you scrambled for words. “It’s nothing. I-I thought I…” Yeah, what did you think? It was hard to lie when Namjoon looked at you like that. Your brain couldn’t come up with anything. Instead, you just gulped heavily.

Namjoon’s coffee was now forgotten, its owner too curious about what you had read and seen. He had, of course, noticed your nervous behaviour, growing suspicious of what you were trying to do. His slippers scraped along the floor again as he casually made his way over to you. With his gaze never leaving your face, he followed your every move.

Clambering for the book, you secured it in your arms before Namjoon could reach for it. He couldn’t find out. Not about the dream. Not about the feelings you held for him. But especially not about the dream. The sinful scenes replayed themselves in your head again and you felt your cheeks heating up once more. “There is nothing in there,” you exclaimed, trying to sound as convincing as possible. But there was a crack in your voice. And you could see it in his eyes. He knew.

Scrambling to sit up right on the couch, you shook your head ‘No’, keeping the book tight in your clutches. Over your dead body would it fall into his hands.

“If there is nothing to see, why are you keeping it from me?” He tried to reason with you, stretching out a hand towards the book that you kept clutched in front of your chest, your arms wrapped around it like it was the most precious treasure you had ever possessed.

Namjoon was not one to accept a ‘No’, you knew that. You could spot the determined look in his eyes already. There was nothing that would keep him from finding out. And that had you scared like hell.

You could only stare at him, not having an answer for his very true and logical question. He would always catch you with his well thought-out reasoning. It made you want to tear your hair out every time. Right now, though, you were paralysed by fear.

“Well, you leave me no choice,” he approached you slowly, trying to read you, trying to calculate which escape route you would take. Because whatever stood in that book, had you all jittery and he had to know why. Though he knew that you would never show him voluntarily.

Panic, your brain screamed. And your body scrambled up from the couch, trying to get away from Namjoon. You still clutched the book in front of your chest with both hands.

“No, no, no!” he lunged forward, reaching for you. “You’re not getting away!” He got your left foot before you could escape safely from the couch. Your body fell back onto the cushions, knocking the breath out of your lungs. But you didn’t let go of the book, no matter the pain it would cost.

In his haste to prevent your escape, he knocked down a few wooden reindeers and snowmen from the coffee table. Luckily, there was no glass there. You had told him right in the store that you would not be buying any glass decorations if he would be around. With his clumsiness, he would knock them down within mere seconds. Hell, he had almost dropped something right then and there in the shop. But you both had other things to worry about right now than your Christmas decorations.

“Namjoon,” you shout out anxiously. “Let go of me!” But his grip on you didn’t ease up.

“Not before you show me the freaking book, Y/N!” And he kept his word, his hands desperately trying to seize the book from your tight grip. But you wouldn’t give up so easily. You once more tried to get away from him, grasping for the armrest and pulling like your life depended on it. But he was just too strong, with one hand grabbling for the book and the other holding down your legs.

While fighting him off, you didn’t notice how he’d crawled up your body, getting in nearer reach of the book. And suddenly he was way too close to your face, hovering above you in such an intimate way he never had before.

There had been moments of course. Where he had caged you in a little at your door, when he had leaned in too close, when he had pulled you into his warm embrace… But that had been something different.

Now he laid on top of you, covering your body with his. His chest heaved against yours as he tried to catch his breath from fighting with you. His grey-dyed hair fell in streaks into his eyes and once more his skin glowed in the warm fuzzy light of the fairy lights that framed his head. For a second, the both of you just... stopped.

He looked deeply into your eyes; his pupils overshadowed with an emotion you couldn’t grasp. Your heart beat even faster and your brain felt like it would explode any minute. Your senses were heightened, and you could feel his skin burning on yours. It was… ravishing. Your body couldn’t get enough of it already.

Suddenly, he snapped the book out of your hand, forcing an evil laughter out of his mouth and the moment was gone. He had shamelessly used your messed up state to his advantage and now the book was in his hands.

He scrambled back up from his position on top of you, quickly getting away from you and taking the book with him so you wouldn’t come up with the idea of snatching it back from him. Well, you had resigned already anyway. There was no way you could stop the inevitable from happening now. You said your last goodbye to your friendship. He took one last look at your dishevelled and defeated state before he plopped down on the armchair.

Thump, thump, thump. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears like the drums of that one Christmas song that they always played on the radio, and your stomach took a heavy leap. No, you couldn’t watch this. It was just too much to handle. You grabbed for the plush Santa Namjoon had gotten you as a joke last year, and hid your face in the red fabric of his cloak. You peeked out anxiously, watching Namjoon.

Pages rustled as Namjoon slowly opened the book. His heart beat just as fast as yours as he searched for the right page. Not because he was anxious, but because of his excitement as to what he would get to read on that page. And then he finally found it.

He was not surprised that it was about you. He had actually predicted that. Why else would you react that way if this didn’t reveal something about you? But the content had him gasping out in astonishment.

To actually believe it, he had to read it more than once. It beat all of his wildest dreams. Not only had you caught feelings for him, but he had of course caught feelings for you as well. And quite some time ago too. He had wanted to confess more than once but he hadn’t had the guts. He was very afraid of losing you as well so this came as a very pleasant surprise to him.

Unable to help it, he read the passage once more and let his gaze on the image of you linger a little longer, feeling arousal crawl up his body. He had caught you staring at him here and there, when going for a swim in the summer or when he read a book, when you didn’t think he would notice. He had never given much thought to it though. He would have never guessed that you had thought about him, dreamed about him.

He needed a few to gather himself, to brace himself for what was to come. He couldn’t let this slide just like that now that he knew that you felt the same for him. Now that he knew what you were craving. And he wanted to give you exactly that. All night if you wanted to. He wanted to give you the pleasure that you deserved, see you writhing underneath his fingers, calling out his name so that everyone could hear what he did to you.

A mischievous grin passed over his face. He would take care of that wish of yours, as a Christmas gift. That he promised to himself and gathered all of his confidence for. His heartbeat was going through the roof but he didn’t want you to know, and tried to keep a calm face.

You peeked out once more as he closed the book. You tried to read his face, but there was nothing to work with. Had your friendship been ruined already? Would he just leave and never say a word to you ever again? You expected the worst, already feeling tears prick in your eyes.

Namjoon slowly got up from the armchair and now you were sure he would leave the apartment. You felt embarrassment, shame, and regret overwhelm you. But there was something in you that fought back. Your eyes grew big, you couldn’t just let him go like this. “Namjoon, I-“

But he cut you off mid-sentence. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.” He shook his head, putting the book down on the table and shoved it over towards you. Your gaze fell back to the image of you, a moaning mess in the bed. You couldn’t handle looking at it and instead gazed up at Namjoon and being met with an expression that you hadn’t expected at all.

He looked like a boy who had gotten the biggest present for Christmas, but there was also something a lot less innocent in his eyes. Holding your gaze, he came back over to the couch and crouched in front of you.

“You’ve been –“ He swallowed visibly, nervousness getting the best of him for a second, before he proceeded with confidence “–a very naughty girl, Y/N, haven’t you?” He cocked an eyebrow while putting both of his hands next to your legs that rested on the edge of the couch.

A shiver ran down your spine at his words. Never had you imagined that Namjoon would speak like this to you. You could not say much, your throat going dry, and just slowly nodded your head.

“Hmm, thought so,” he answered while letting his gaze wander over your form. “Well, what do we do about that? Naughty girls need to be punished, right?” His eyes drifted back to your face, satisfied he took notice of the effect he had on you. How your legs unconsciously rubbed together at his every movement.

With the heat rising from you, he felt drawn to you.

“But I think you’ve been pretty nice this year. I think we leave the punishment for another day and instead–“ He nodded towards the book, referring to the description of your dream under the picture. “– keep working on this.” He turned back towards you. “What do you think, Y/N?”

His words were music in your ears. This was more than you could wish for. You pinched yourself for a second, making sure it wasn’t another dream of yours, that you hadn’t just fallen asleep again in your bed. But it was as real as it could get. Arousal is already pooling in your panties, Namjoon’s deep voice resounding in your head.

By now, he was drawing small, soft circles on the skin of your thigh, patiently waiting for your answer. He wouldn’t do anything about it as long as you hadn’t given your consent. There was still a little voice inside of him that wasn’t sure if you really felt the same. He had no time to think too much about it though.

You cleared your throat, the effect he had on you clear as day. “I’d… love that.” You shyly answered, carefully putting a hand on Namjoon’s cheek. He leaned into your touch immediately, closing his eyes for a second to enjoy the feeling of the gentle action.

He pushed himself up a little, his face hovering in front of yours. You held your breath, excited for what was to come. He was even closer than before. You could feel puffs of his hot breath gently caressing your lips. His eyes kept yours caged, his pupils blown looking like black holes that swallowed you to take you to another dimension.

With his hand moving up to the side of your neck, it gingerly brushed against the skin and he left it at the nape of your neck. His face inched closer, barely any space left between your lips now. Your thumb grazed over his cheek, the skin underneath warm and tender. You could stay like this forever.

“May… may I kiss you?” Namjoon asked, gaze drifting between your shining eyes and your tempting lips. You took his breath away, making him weak in the knees. Why hadn’t he confessed to you sooner? He could have had it all already. You had both missed out on so much. But there was still so much time to make up for it all.

It took all of your willpower to not kiss him right then and there, but to answer his question first. You looked deep into his eyes, “Yes, I beg you to.”

And that was all that was needed for Namjoon to desperately press his lips against yours without hesitating for even a second. Both of you closed your eyes, relishing in the moment of the first kiss shared between the two of you. It was not at all how you had expected it to feel but so much more. Your heart took a leap at his soft lips that moved so lovingly against yours while his thumb stroked your neck, goosebumps rising on your skin.

Namjoon had to take a break to catch his breath, soft laughter escaping his lips. His hand remained at the back of your neck and so did yours on his cheek. But this break didn’t last long because both of you were already hungry for more. Your other hand went into his hair while your mouth landed back on his.

Tugging a little at the strands, he couldn’t help but let out a quiet moan, his lips opening to the kiss. His tongue darted out, tapping against your lower lip and begging for entrance. You let him stew a little until both of your tongues met in a heated battle.

Slowly, Namjoon could feel himself getting hard. Your sweet lips got the best of him and he couldn’t do anything against it when his mind imagined them wrapped around his cock. He could feel it twitch in his pyjama pants, begging for attention. But Namjoon wanted for you to cum first. The outlook of getting to taste you with his tongue between your folds was too promising.

In fact, he didn’t want to wait any longer. As much as he enjoyed making out with you, he wanted to dig into the real fun. He broke the kiss, pressing his forehead softly against yours. This time you had to catch your breath.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Y/N?” Namjoon whispered softly, asking for your permission to go on.

You pecked his lips adoringly. “I mean I’ve been dreaming about it.” Both of you chuckled lightly, caressing each other’s skin. “I couldn’t wish for more this Christmas.” You had to stifle a laugh. This was the most interesting Christmas you had ever had. And you loved it.

Namjoon made his way over to your ear with featherlight kisses to nibble on your earlobe before he hushed into your ear, making you shiver at the nickname he used for you, “I want you to tell me if you feel uncomfortable, baby girl.”

“I will,” you breathed back, enjoying the shivers that ran down your spine as Namjoon’s breath tickled your skin. You buzzed with excitement, awaiting his treatment.

“Okay, baby girl,” he moved down from your ear to your neck, nipping at the skin and grazing his teeth over your shoulder a little. “I can’t wait to taste you.”

While your breathing got heavier at these few words already, he gently pushed your thighs apart with his hands, his upper body moving in the space in between to have better access to your neck. His hands wandered over your inner thighs, setting your skin on fire and your blood boiling.

Another quiet moan escaped your mouth. It all felt just too heavenly. And it made Namjoon proud to know he was making you feel good. You deserved it and he was ready to give it to you for the rest of your life if it meant he would hear your sweet little moans.

As he nibbled lightly on your neck, his hands crawled up your shirt, pushing it up over your chest. His mouth unlatched to attach itself again to one of your nipples immediately, drawing sloppy circles around it. While one of his hands held up the shirt, the other sweetly caressed your other breast, brushing against the sensitive bud and making it stand up, aroused.

Throwing your head back, you pushed your upper body into Namjoon’s face. The treatment he blessed you with was paradisiac. If it was up to you, he could do that for the rest of eternity. Still, there was one place where you needed him a lot more…

“Joonie.” His nickname left your lips in a faint, breathless hush. He let out a breathy moan against your nipple. God, now his mind would forever replay this moment and your needy plea whenever someone would call him by this nickname. You were his rise and his fall.

He pecked your nipple one last time before looking up from in between your breasts with hooded eyes. “Yes, baby girl?”

“I need you,” you breathed out, hands still playing with his soft hair.

He cocked his head, one of his eyebrows rising. “Need me how?”

You let out a quiet, frustrated sigh. He knew exactly how, teasing you in a vulnerable moment. With your cheeks heating up, you looked away for a second. This was still very unchartered territory to you.

Feeling one of his hands back on your cheek, he tilted your head to look at him. Eyes full of genuity, he softly told you, “You don’t need to be ashamed when you’re with me. You can freely tell me what you want because I want to make you feel good.” He took your hand and pressed a lingering kiss to your temple, softly muttering against your skin, “I want you to feel safe with me.”

It was easy to tell he was being serious and honest. How did you deserve this man? You mouthed a quiet ‘thank you’ to him, feeling more at ease now. And it gave you the confidence to state your desire.

“Joonie… I need your mouth on me and your tongue in me, please,” you begged as you didn’t break off the eye contact. His eyes lit up at your words and he nodded eagerly, pressing one more kiss on your knuckles before he let your hand go.

“If you need something to hold onto, my hair is as good as anything else,” Namjoon told you, winking at you saucily before levelling his head with your clothed core. You held in a breath as he put a featherlight kiss to your inner thigh before nipping on the smooth skin.

His hands wandered over your lower legs towards your waist where they played with the hem of your pyjama shorts, ghosting over your skin. He could smell your wetness and it drove him crazy. He was just as riled up as you were.

He looked up from between your legs, giving you a very similar view as your dream had. You still couldn’t believe that this was all actually happening.

“Baby girl? Could you do me a favor?” His hands slipped back under your shirt for a second, drawing soft circles on your lower back.

You nodded eagerly, willing to do anything as long as he’d continue his exploration down your pants.

“Could you lift your hips for me a little?” He nodded towards your hips. “We need to get these out of the way.”

You obeyed his request, leaning back while lifting up your hips from the couch. All you wanted was his mouth on you.

Namjoon sucked in a breath, preparing himself for the view he was about to get. He had dreamed of that moment many, many times. In the shower when the thoughts of you got over his head, in bed when he had had another vivid dream of you in his arms.

He gently pulled down both your pyjama shorts and your panties, dragging them slowly over your legs to fully enjoy this moment. The clothing items in question hit one of the snowmen in the face as Namjoon carelessly threw them over his shoulder.

You felt the cold air hit your sensitive skin, dragging in a breath as it came in contact with the rough material of the couch. You needed release desperately right now, even little things like these throwing you off. You sank back into the couch a little.

Heartbeat strumming in his ears, Namjoon’s gaze wandered between your legs, laying eyes on your glistening folds for the first time. It was a sight to behold, at least for him. “Fuck, Y/N,” he muttered under his breath, dragging one hand through his hair while lowering back down between your legs.

“Let me make you feel good,” he whispered while pushing his arms under your legs and pulling them up on his shoulders so he could get better access. You relaxed your upper body on the backrest while shifting your hips up to the edge of the couch so that not only you were comfortable, but it would also be easier for Namjoon.

He gave you one last smile before pressing his head between your legs, his hair pleasantly tickling the inner skin of your thighs. You could feel hot puffs of breath hitting your sensitive folds, making you shiver around him. He hummed lightly, pleased at your reaction.

With his hands gently holding down your thighs, he pressed soft kisses around your pussy, nipping at the skin here and there and biting down softly. He closed his eyes, savoring the last moment before he would get to taste you.

With one hand holding you up, you entangled the other back into his hair, threading through the strands. Your soft gasps filled the air, encouraging Namjoon on.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore, dropping a sloppy kiss onto your pussy. Tongue darting out between his lips, he took a long lick along your glistening folds. You tasted so good, he was glad that you would be the first meal of his day besides the coffee.

A strangled moan reached his hair and he opened his eyes to watch you throw your head back in pleasure. You looked like a goddess in the dim light of the morning and the fairy lights, the sinful image burned into his mind forever.

One of his hands reached around your leg to spread your folds for him, your clit coming into view. He latched his mouth onto it, sucking it in like a starved man.

Waves of pleasure rolled over you, feet pressing down on Namjoon’s back. If he kept this up, you would be falling apart in mere minutes. Your hands tugged on his hair, urging him to continue his treatment of your pussy. “Don’t stop,” you breathed out.

He replaced his lips with his thumb, caressing your bundle of nerves while his mouth moved further down. His tongue hungrily lapped at your walls, desperate to catch every taste it could get.

Your hips moved on your own as they pressed themselves against his face willingly, desperate for a release. You could feel your orgasm slowly approaching as Namjoon worked his magic on you.

As his tongue found your entrance, he slowly pushed it inside, before swirling it around a little. You gasped for air as you could feel it massaging your walls, back arching up from the couch. After letting you adjust to the feeling of his tongue inside you, he started darting it in and out at a rapid pace, thumb still fumbling your clit.

His nickname fell from your lips like a waterfall, wonderful music to his ears. You begged him not to stop, promises of you being close spurred him on, going down on you even faster. He could feel his rock-hard cock straining against his pyjama pants, begging to be released. But it was not yet the time.

He needed you to cum all over his tongue first and, hell, he would make sure of that. Feeling your walls contracting around his tongue, he put a little more pressure on your clit, circling and rubbing it gently with his fingers, trying to take you over the edge. You were almost there, he could feel it.

“Joonie, fuck, I am-” The sentence got lost between a heavy mess of moans and whimpers as you finally came with one last stroke around Namjoon’s tongue. You closed your eyes, orgasm blazing through your body in pleasurable waves.

Namjoon lapped up everything he could get, guiding you through your orgasm. As the moans and the whimpers lessened, his mouth, albeit grudgingly, detached from your folds, pressing one last kiss to your inner thigh before he looked up about you through his lashes.

As you looked down, you were met with a very vivid image of your last night’s dream as Namjoon’s skin glowed from your juices that were smeared all around his mouth. His hair had fallen into his eyes, not able to hide the playful glint in his eyes. His cheeks were a flushed red, chest heaving for air.

“That was… amazing,” you whispered as you cupped his cheek, thumb caressing the hot skin. You leaned over him, stealing a kiss and tasting yourself on his tongue. “Thank you.”

Namjoon chuckled lightly, taking pride in making you feel so good. He nuzzled his face in your neck, breathing in your delicate scent. “I think we both actually have someone else to thank.” Both of your gazes fell onto the book that still laid open on the coffee table.

You grinned from ear to ear at his words. “Well, thank you, Santa, I guess then? For helping us idiots?” Both of you couldn’t hold in your laughter at the situation. What a naughty Christmas it had been for sure!

Quietness settled over the two of you for a minute as you enjoyed each other’s company. As Namjoon slowly got up from his kneeling position, you noticed his hard manhood through his pants. Licking your lips, you felt yourself getting wet again. Your hunger for Namjoon had only just awakened.

“How about… a shower?” you proposed, cocking a head at Namjoon. “I think it’s time I’ll take care of you.” Pushing yourself up from the couch, you let your hands roam freely over his upper body.

Namjoon snaked a hand around your waist, pulling you against him. “As if I could say no to that.” You could feel his cock through the soft fabric of his pants pressing against your thigh. Namjoon leaned down, his lips against your ear.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N,” he whispered as he softly started kissing you again under the shining lights of the fairy lights and a mistletoe magically grew down from the ceiling. Santa has his way in fulfilling wishes…

© nottodayjjk 2021 - all rights reserved.

[haik-choo]

waking up next to the karasuno second & third years

request: the waking up next to the first years hcs was the purest most adorable thing i’ve ever read 🥺🥺🥺could u do one with the second or third years too?

a/n: thank you so much for loving the first one i did! i’m sorry i haven’t been as active, i go in and out of a creative mindset and this quarantine isn’t really pushing me to stay creative. i just sleep most of the time LOL. here it is! :)

[WAKING UP NEXT TO THE KARASUNO SECOND AND THIRD YEARS] 

-nishinoya, tanaka, daichi, sugawara, asahi

nishinoya yuu.

waking up next to nishinoya yuu isn’t filled with excitement or him jumping off the walls, like you might expect it to be. i feel like the first ten minutesof waking up for him are really slow, like he’s just barely opening his eyes and looking at the ceiling.

for some reason i really feel like he wakes up before you. he goes to bed at like two am, but wakes up at eight am to practice or go on a little jog. 

but every time he wakes up, the first thing he looks at is you. your peaceful state, your slow-rising chest, the little breaths leaving your slightly parted lips. noya is a really emotional person, and I can bet you real money that he gets real giddy seeing you next to him.

you don’t usually sleep in his arms because he’s a wild sleeper and probably starfishes, so when he wakes up his limbs are sprawled out, some on you, some hanging off the bed. and he just barely turns his head at there you are in your morning glory. 

his heart literally swells five sizes bigger. he’ll shift over to be next to you and move your hair out of your face or just mess with the hair at the top of your head, basking in the love you cause him to feel.

after a few minutes of doing that, he’ll let out a big ol’ sigh and wrap his arms around you, squeezing tight to wake you up.

“mmm,,,,noya, what are you doing,,,” “i’m just feeling grateful :)” 

and you look up at him, and there’s a feeling of security that fills you. he may not be the biggest or strongest, but the light in his eyes and the warmth in his arms that he wraps around you make you feel safe. 

not to mention that his hair is down and sticking out everywhere. it’s a cute picture that only you’ll ever see

you return his gesture and wrap your arms around him, thinking about different ways to make him stay in bed instead of going out for a jog.

basically; the morning is filled with hugs and soft smiles, knowing looks and arms that evoke the feeling of being safe and being loved. his hair is wild, and his hands are tugging at your own strands. 

tanaka ryuunosuke.

you two almost always wake up in the same position, his arms spread out, your head resting on one of them, one of his legs propped up like a tent and the other flat on the bed, you curled up against his side. since he’s a touch-starved individual, he finds any excuse for you two to be as close as possible every second of every day. 

you both actually wake up a few minutes apart, whoever wakes up first is a coin toss. and when you wake up first, you get to see his face void of the tension is usually has, his mouth is a little open with small snores coming out, his fingers twitching every few seconds

tanaka’s body reacts before he does, so even if you try to get up, his arms just holds onto you and keep you attached to his side. he swears he doesn’t do it on purpose, and that his body just needs you :’) 

on days when he wakes up before you he stays as still as stone. no joke, he’s so afraid of waking you up and experiencing your wrath that he just. freezes

but as he’s frozen, he takes the time to just stare. no smile on his face, he just stares, drinking in your sleeping form. he occasionally takes a change and slowly turns, stretching out his arm for his phone on the side table. when he can reach it, you can bet he has 200+ new photos of your sleeping and he makes them his screen savers

the second he sees your stir awake lightly, he pounces on you an covers your face in little kithes and saves your lips for last. sometimes he’ll wait until you open your eyes and look at him, pouting like “where’s my real kisses :(” before he gives you a big boy smooch

you giggle and caress his chest with your hand, happy that he wakes you up like a queen everyday. trust me, he’s happy he gets to be the guy whose face you see first thing in the morning

he usually scrolls through his phone for like an hour before getting out of bed, and you just sit there and watch tik toks with him. you two my wake up at roughly the same time, but you get out of bed before him to make some morning smoothies (he totally asks for a protein shake AGAGA) 

basically; your mornings get started at the same time, and he loves to make sure you’re up by pelting you with kisses that you love. you scroll through tik tok while being smushed next to his chest before you get up to make breakfast. 

daichi sawamura.

not gonna lie, when he wakes up he spend like a minute or two in bed at MOST, he hates just staying in bed because he feels like he could so much more productive than lie around and do nothing. you, on the other hand, wouldn’t mind staying in bed for the entire day. 

so here’s the way it usually goes: he wakes up a minute before his alarm (7:00am) and just quickly sighs before reaching over you and turning it off so it doesn’t wake you up. then he kisses your forehead (his breath smells bad, so he’s not going to kiss your lips) before getting up and washing up. he gets ready to go on a jog, and he kisses your shoulder before he sets out on his journey.

but every once in a while, there’s something wonderful that happens. he doesn’t feel like working out. he wakes up at the same time, but he just doesn’t feel like doing anything. on those days, he completely indulges in your warmth.

he doesn’t care if he wakes you up and hoists you up so you’re completely laying on his body. of course you wake up, but you already know what’s going to happen, so you just softly groan. “so you don’t feel like getting up and decide to wake me up? really?” “yes, really” “...you’re lucky i love you” “im the luckiest man alive” 

you two actually talk during mornings like those, you love pressing an ear against his chest and hearing the vibrations his voice causes. it’s like calming background noise to you. 

“are,,,you even listening. we’ve got a lot to do today” “i’ve been ignoring everything after you said ‘getting up’“ “...of course you have”

you haveto convince him to stay even longer in bed, because he really hates staying in bed, like he just wants to make “eggs or fucking toast or an OMLETTE PLEASE I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING”

in order to persuade him to stay for a little longer, you usually just kiss him. normally he hates morning breath, but when it’s you kissing him so tenderly he can make an exception or two

ngl it usually leads to making out or morning sex, like i said he needs to do SOMETHING 

basically; you wake up like a married couple. normally he gets up right away, but every once in a while he;ll decide to spend some extra time with the love of his life, and that time is usually spent kissing and...doing other things ;) 

sugawara koushi.

instead of you waking up in his arms, he wakes up in your arms. like his face is pressed against your chest and your arms is haphazardly resting over his shoulder. his arms are undoubtedly around your waist, his lags entangled with yours

every morning, without fail, he wakes up first and somehow slip out of your position and into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth before making two cups of coffee and coming back into the bedroom, setting them on the nightstand, and crawling back into bed with you

usually he sits up in bed and moves you to rest your head in his lap so he can reach over to sip at his drink. his hands comb through your hair and he trifles through his emails just incase some parent messages him about something

sometimes he’ll stop scrolling at look down at you, feeling happy and 100% sure that he has the greatest life; first he wakes up in your arms, spends time with you, spends time with kids, and them spends more time with you 

the school he teaches at starts at like twelve pm, so he likes to take his time waking up so he’s as happy as possible. and spending a lot of time with you is key to that.

can only wait for so long before he pokes your side until you wake up. the entire time he’s like “please wake up” “i’ve got work in like four hours! let’s do something!” “i’ll make breakfast if you give me sufficient payment ;)” 

literally the second you wake up he props you up and you look drunk as hell when you first wake up but he still thinks you’re beautiful <3 cute rat 

he rests your head on his shoulder and kisses you until you’re fully awake, you don’t always kiss back but that’s because you’re not fully there  and you’re just,,, “is there a bird pecking at me? what the hell - oh, it’s koushi” 

“can’t you wake me up like a normal person?” “no, i like kissing you awake. isn’t that cute? :)” “not when you kiss like a bird.” “so you have,,,,chosen death?”

when he’s feeling extra happy he has no issue putting you on his lap, facing him. he wraps your arms around him before doing the same to you and burying his face in your neck and humming a soft tune. he’s just such a calming presence that sometimes you fall back asleep in his lap :’)

basically; it’s a cute and happy morning as he rests you on his lap and peppers your lips with kisses to wake you up. playful banter is included, and so it coffee breath.  

asahi azumane.

he would love to wake up to you pressed to his side, but he gets hot really easily, so he cant hold you to sleep. he totally hugs a small pillow to sleep and you can old press up against his back, which he doesn’t mind. 

he’s the type to wake up at ten am naturally, and every morning he yawns and stretches out his arms, rolling back a little before yelping at the feeling of you getting quietly crushed beneath him

when he realizes that it’s just you, his heart beat stabilizes and he turns over, flipping the sheets off of him to he doesn’t overheat, and grabs you hands, lacing his fingers through with yours

you’ve been dating for a while, so he’s completely comfortable doing skinship with you. he’s not embarrassed at how much he loves you. he likes to gently caress your face with his hands, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones and sometimes across your bottom lip

no lie, waking up with asahi is the softest thing ever. he gives you one single kiss on your cheek, letting it linger for a few seconds before pulling away to see your eyes cracked open

by this time he’s lightly hovering over you, and he just lets out a slightly bashful smiles and leans down, his forehead pressing against yours

you think that you must’ve saved a cat orphanage in your past life in order to get he delicious treat of waking up with asahi’s face in front of yours everyday 

“good morning to you, too, azumane” “morning :)” “did you have that weird dream again?” “the one where hinata grows to be eight foot three and dunks me in a basketball hoop and leaves me up there and becomes the ace?” “yeah” “yes. yes i did.thanks for reminding me.” 

sometimes asks for extra cuddles before getting up to take a shower, and when you say yes he just :):):) and envelops you in his warm embrace and rubs his beard goatee thing on your forehead as you grovel in pain because it’s in that in-between phase where it’s scratchy and long 

sometimesasksyoutoshowertogetherbutyouusuallyhavetodecipheritbecausehe’sallblushyandit’ssocuteyoucoulddie

honestly struggles to get up in the morning because he really loves just laying and existing with you, his mind not focused or worried about anything but the way your chest rises slightly out of sync with his, and sometimes he imagines your chest heaving beneath his,,,,but hat’s astory for antoher time

basically; waking up with him is like a fairy tale. his gently lips and even gentler arms wake you up like a queen, and he makes sure that you feel the same way he does. sometimes there’s extra cuddles, sometimes there’s some showering together. 

[morganaspendragonss]

before we both lose this fight (4/?)

chapter written by me and translated into spanish by @tarlos-spain! summary: tk struggles to contain his grief while looking after carlos prompt: grieving from my @mfbingo fandom: 9-1-1: lone star

ao3 | 1.7k | grief, guilt, mild amnesia

Everything seemed normal when TK woke up the next morning. Or, as normal as things could be, given the circumstances. Carlos was sleeping soundly, the sun was shining, birds were singing, and his mom was dead. 

Normal.

TK scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. Everything in him wanted to just roll over and forget the world existed, but he knew that wouldn’t be possible any time soon. Not with Carlos’s injury; TK had to be to look after him, because God knew he wouldn’t do it himself. Plus, he’d have to go back to work soon — for the moment, he and Carlos were both on paid leave, but his was going to run out, and with the medical bills and funeral expenses, they couldn’t afford for him to take more time out.

So TK forced himself out of bed and padded slowly to the kitchen, making sure to slide the doors shut as he went. He didn’t want to wake Carlos prematurely, and if it would also serve as an alarm for the smiling mask he had to put on daily, then that was just a bonus.

He was able to drink one and a half cups of coffee before he heard stirrings from the bedroom. The caffeine was already giving him a headache, but TK was in desperate need of energy these days, so he threw back the last half, heedless of the way it burned his throat going down, then grabbed an orange juice for Carlos.

His boyfriend was already sitting up in bed and was making moves to stand when TK walked back into the bedroom. Carlos froze, caught red-handed, but TK knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on when it came to managing injuries.

Instead, he just rolled his eyes and set the juice on Carlos’s nightstand, nudging his legs until he settled himself back into bed.

“Sorry,” he said, smiling sheepishly.

TK stroked his hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s okay. Just call me next time. I’m gonna go make us some breakfast, okay? Think you can handle buttered toast?”

Carlos nodded, but when TK turned to go he caught his hand and pulled him back. “Hey, Tee, I’m really sorry about last night, too. I was—”

“Carlos.” TK shook his head. “Don’t. It’s fine, I promise.”

“But—”

“Drink your juice.” TK smiled at Carlos, hoping he didn’t notice how fake it felt, then walked out of the room again. He didn’t close the doors this time — that would be too suspicious — and, for the first time since he’d seen it, TK cursed the loft’s open plan. There was nowhere he would be able to drop this façade without Carlos seeing, except for perhaps the bathroom.

But a bathroom breakdown felt a little bit too clichéd, and, besides, the door connecting it to the bedroom was more of a screen than anything. He wouldn’t be able to so much as sniff without Carlos hearing.

Existing like this was exhausting, but TK didn’t know how else to be. He could still barely believe his mom was dead and the last thing he wanted was for people to start trying to get him to talk about it. Especially not Carlos. He deserved better than the person he was when he was alone.

More than that, Carlos needed better.

But masks grow thin with wear, and TK had been wearing his for too long.

“Hey, babe?” Carlos said when he returned, plate of toast in hand. “How are things with your mom?”

TK almost dropped the plate. Once recovered, he set it on the nightstand and carefully lowered himself back down next to Carlos. “What do you mean?”

Carlos sent him a funny look. “Well, she called the other night, right? After the softball game? You never told me what she said.” He frowned, then reached up to touch his temple, a guilty look flashing over his face. “Or, if you did, I guess I forgot.”

Something broke in TK then. He looked down at the sheets to try to hide it, but, even concussed, Carlos knew how to read him.

“Shit.” Carlos sucked in a sharp, guilty breath. “I did forget, didn’t I? TK, I’m so sorry, I just—”

“My mom’s dead.”

Over the roaring in his ears, TK heard the click of Carlos’s jaw snapping shut. He heard his stumbling speech — “Ty, God, I… I didn’t… What do you mean your mom is dead? When…? No, that’s not what I meant to ask,” — and he felt the weight of his hand on his leg, his arm, his cheek, desperate to comfort him. The other went to his own temple — the guiltier he felt, the more his head hurt. “The trip…the plane. You went to New York with your dad because your mom… Tee, please, forgive me, I don’t know how I could forget that.”

But, for TK, the physical sensations were all dulled, overpowered by a sharp stabbing in his chest, guilt and grief and pain burning through his body. Guilt, because he hadn’t meant to say it that bluntly, because he hadn’t made it to the funeral, because Carlos needed him and he couldn’t be enough. Never enough, because he was overpowered by his feelings and there was no way of leaving this bottomless pit into which he was falling. 

Then there was the grief, grief for his mom and for the life he’d had before this shadow fell over it all. He missed her so much; he was still thinking about calling her to ask what he could do to feel better, and then he realised that he couldn’t, because his mother was gone, she was dead, and he’d never see her again.

And the pain… It felt like the pain had always been there, waiting for its opportunity to twist ever deeper. There had always been pain inside him. First from his parents’ divorce and feeling like he had lost his father. Then everything had turned different shades of black with the drugs, with the abyss inside of him, until he’d met Carlos.

Now, he also felt pain for Carlos, for not knowing how to look after him and not being able to focus on him, the man he loved, because his sadness was stronger than everything else.

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do anything.

“My mom’s dead,” he repeated, shaking Carlos’s hands off him. A second later, he hated himself for doing it, for pushing Carlos away when his boyfriend had done nothing but worry about him. But, without thinking, he stood up. “She… It was Enzo who called that night. He told me that she died.”

“TK…” Carlos breathed, horror and realisation dawning over his face as the memories clearly trickled back. “I didn’t… I… I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“Fine.” He smiled tightly at Carlos and clenched his trembling hands into fists behind his back, trying hard not to let Carlos notice how close he was to sinking. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, just focus on getting better, alright? I’ll just…” His gaze lit upon the bathroom door, and maybe a cliché was what he needed right now. “Give me a minute.”

TK leapt for the door and threw it shut behind him. On shaky legs, he stumbled to the far side, then pressed himself into the tile and slid down to the floor. 

He pressed his fist to his mouth, and let himself go.

*

Carlos was already awake when TK’s voice began to filter through the bedroom door. After he somehow, inexplicably managed to forget about Gwyn, the day had been awkward, with him feeling guilty and TK withdrawing into himself, whilst still trying to appear normal. Carlos knew he wasn’t okay; if TK went under now, it could take too long to pull him back out.

TK’s excuse had been a weak cover, clearly too tired to manage anything more convincing, and Carlos had seen through it immediately, but he’d had no clue what to say.

There was nothing that could make this better.

His mom had picked up on the tension too when she arrived to bring them food for the week, but she’d also seemed to know not to ask. Instead, she just set about making some lunch, comforting them with easy conversation and good food.

For what was probably the first time in Carlos’s life, it hadn’t worked.

Now, he was laying wide awake in bed, wracked with guilt over what had happened. He’d tried to convince TK to come to bed too when he helped him over, but he’d refused, and it seemed like his boyfriend was planning on spending the whole night on the couch. Carlos was in the middle of trying to figure out how pissed TK would be if he got up on his own — his head wasn’t hurting so much anymore, but he still got dizzy and confused — when the low murmurs of one side of a conversation started up.

Carlos strained to hear, but TK was being too quiet. So, even though it made the guilt prick even sharper, he slowly got out of bed and went over to the door, cracking it open to peer through into the darkened front room.

“I don’t know,” TK said. He was curled on the couch, wrapped in his throw blanket, and his voice was thick with the tears that showed clearly on his face. “I can’t stop thinking about her, and I— Enzo, I swear, sometimes I just want it all to stop. I’d do just about anything right now to stop feeling like this.”

TK paused, listening, and Carlos just wanted to rush forward and gather him in his arms.

But he didn’t.

“No,” TK continued. “I can’t… He can’t know. He needs me, Enzo, and I can’t—” He broke off, a strangled sound that drove spikes into Carlos’s heart escaping his throat. “I can’t.”

TK dissolved into tears, and Carlos took one step back, then another. His head was throbbing again, but it was nothing compared to the pain that bloomed inside him as TK’s muffled sobs filled his ears.

[benevolentcalamity]

Be Our Guest

So uh.

This is a thing. That I am doing.

Anyway.

Alcina Dimitrescu x Female! Listener

Just so we’re clear this is too long to get to much so this’ll have a smut chapter next time. Just FYI. This is just implied smut but nothing happens, so enjoy.

Enjoy you stunning pomegranates

“Mother, I found her first - I should taste her blood!”

“No, me, I’m the one that said she was pretty!”

“Daughters, please. There’s plenty to go around, so don’t lose your heads.”

Through the throbbing pulsations in your head, you pry your eyes open enough to peer through your lashes. Three black clothed figures are in a perfect line, bickering amongst themselves until the towering white behind them reprimands them, patting them on their heads. It pushes through them, approaching you, until you can make out the figure.

A woman, undeniably tall, dressed elegantly in a white gown and hat, black gloved fingers fiddling with the cigarette holder with almost disturbing dexterity. Her red-painted lips stretch into an amused grin too big for her face, clearly noticing you rousing from unconsciousness. Kneeling, she reaches for you, patting your cheek.

“Wake up.” Her voice is more playful, like a mother ready to torture you with a day full of work. “Come now, wake up.”

Her patting grows harsher, and you blink a few times until she’s clear. By instinct you put your hand up in defense, and she backs away, her only objective having really been to wake you. Turning a bit to cough into your fist, you push down on the floor to sit upright, rubbing your eyes.

“She looked cuter passed out,” One of the black trio pouts, prompting one of the others to shush her.

The tall woman’s hand extends toward you, beckoning you. More confused than afraid, you take it, and she pulls - more like yanks - you to your feet. You feel a bit wobbly and maybe cold; a reminder that you are in fact alive, and here you are. 

“Name?”

You blink, wrenching your attention from your momentary hunger pangs back to the woman. “E-excuse me, ma’am?”

 “What is your name?”

Swallowing, you interlock your fingers to stop them from shaking. “[Name]. [Name] [Last Name].”

She nods. “Well met.” Almost flamboyantly, she puts her cigarette hand to her chest. “Alcina Dimitrescu - but you may address me as ‘Madam,’ ‘Ma’am,’ or ‘My Lady,’ understood?”

“Yes.” You don’t know what to do.

“... Well don’t stand there pouting, daughters, introduce yourselves.”

With visible glee, the black haired girl steps forward, giving you a somewhat snobbish grin through red-stained teeth. “Cassandra,” She sings, bowing her head.

Then the redhead. “Daniela.” Her smile is more... seductive, but one that signals to you her type of seduction isn’t the kind you’d want.

The blonde is last, her smile a Cheshire cat grin - one that simply says ‘danger’. Nothing more, nothing less. “Bela.”

“Good daughters.” Lady Dimitrescu grins in satisfaction, putting her hands on her hips. “Now, the moment we’ve waited for.” She then raises her hands, snapping her fingers. 

“Yes, Mother!”

Cassandra and Daniela move to either of your sides, gripping your arms. They’re too strong to fight against, rendering you motionless in seconds. On your right, Daniella flashes you a smile, before gripping your wrist and slicing your palm with a curved blade.

You cry out, prompting her to move her lips to your ear. “Shhh... Plenty of time for screaming,” She purrs, stretching your arm out as Lady Dimitrescu approaches.

Wrenching your wrist from Daniela’s fingers, she leans down, pausing for a moment before dragging her tongue across your wound. Almost ravenously she does a few more strokes, sucking on it to get as much blood as she can. Fear and confusion bring nausea at the sight - you swallow whatever vomit threatens to wrench itself from you.

She pauses again, eyebrows raising, before her lips open into a red-stained grin as she stands straight.

“Sweet and succulent!” She declares, prompting the trio to close in on you more, holding onto your arm and partaking as well. “Now, now, daughters, we mustn’t be so hasty. This is just too good to disappear into the cellar.”

“String her up!” Bela grins. “Store her and we’ll drink from her when we wish!”

Daniela’s arm goes around your waist, her free hand holding your chin. “But she’s so cute - would it be fair to treat her like a pig?” “What do you say, Mother?” Cassandra asks.

With a quick onceover of you - why that includes an elevator look at you you’ve no idea - Lady Dimitrescu takes a drag from her cigarette, blowing a smoke ring toward your head. “Whether this girl has somewhere to go from here, it doesn’t matter,” She hums. “Her blood is some of the best we’ve had in a good while - she’s worth keeping alive.”

You swallow, Bela and Cassandra backing from you, Daniela moving behind you to keep cuddling you. “As of right now, she is a guest in our home,” Lady Dimitrescu continues. “I will deliberate as to what to do with her; Mother Miranda won’t need to know so long as she’s not making trouble. Daniela, show little [Name] where she’ll be staying.”

“Yes, Mother.” Daniella grips your arm, thrusting you outward as if dancing with you, before wrenching you back to her. With a sultry giggle she lifts you bridal-style into her arms, the other two waving at you as you’re sped away as though flying on a magical carpet.

It’s a smooth ride, one that’d easily repeatedly trick you into thinking you’re gliding instead of being carried, but a glance at Daniela’s grinning face reminds you that you’re indeed welcome - you’re not home.

A second passes, and she stops, putting you down onto your feet. However, her arms wind back around you, but around your shoulders, leaving you at the mercy of her teeth.

“Here we are!” She giggles, throwing her arm out, inviting you to look around the room. It’s large and... definitely more Versailles than any you’ve seen, but comfortable had it not been for the fact you’re here with women that could spell your demise.

Releasing you from her hold, Daniela circles in front of you, flashing you a smile alongside a tilt of her head. “I hope you enjoy your stay. And if there’s anything we can do to make your stay more...” She pauses for effect, running the blunt edge of her blade down your face. The cold steel freezes your spine, and your palms grow clammy. “Don’t hesitate to ask.”

She replaces the touch of her blade with her hand, forcing you to look in her eyes. “And I’m warning you~” She sings, “You’d better not do anything to make Mother regret her well-placed mercy. You understand me, little one?”

Quivering, you nod. “I-I understand.”

Her smile grows to show her teeth, and her blade snakes around the back of your neck, forcing you to lean forward to avoid being cut. Mischievous, she leans forward as fell, planting a kiss on your cheek before retreating, dispersing into locust-like insects before leaving, the door somehow closing when the swarm leaves.

Stepping away from the door, your lips purse and release with emotions and sounds that crash against each other, creating a practical thunderstorm in your chest. Everything’s still spinning a bit; your head still has a nasty bump from when some smelly hairy man with a hammer jumped you in the village. Your brain’s foggy, but your memories are still intact. How long, though, is the question.

Deciding to examine the room, you walk around, taking your shoes off and holding them to avoid staining the rug. The first thing you notice is the vanity, gilded and polished to perfection. Sitting down in front of it, you comb your fingers through your hair, more to calm yourself down than anything. Eventually, your hands fall still in your lap, and you stare into the eyes of a girl powerless to stop whatever will happen to her in this castle.

Dread slowly twists your stomach, and you stand, meandering to the window. The snow falls swiftly, nearly obscuring the view; a telltale sign a snowstorm is brewing. No sense in trying to escape and risking frostbite.

“I guess... I just wait now,” you mutter.

Helpless, you head over to the bed. Shedding your coat, you fold it neatly and put it on the nightstand, crawling into the layers of blankets. It smells like linen that, though clean, hasn’t been touched in years, not even by the faintest speck of dust. What’s there instead is an oddly comforting aroma, like grandma’s house but if she were rich.

Reaching into your pocket, you tug out your phone. No signal.

You’re isolated, locked away, with no one knowing where you are.

The knowledge brings tears to your eyes, hanging over you as you tug the covers over your head, eventually curling up and drifting softly to sleep.

___

What rouses you from sleep isn’t your alarm clock as you’d have hoped, nor is it the chirp of the birds or your phone ringing asking where you’ve been. Rather, it’s your nose being, for lack of a better word, jiggled. Someone or something is poking the tip and wiggling it in circles.

Jerking your head a bit, you swat with your hand, opting to cover your nose, furrowing your brows.

Then a hand grips your wrist, and your eyes open. With black hovering above you, you’re thrown into perfect alertness, the red hair skirting over your cheek sending your palms down as you attempt to sit up properly.

Daniela grins maliciously at your reaction, licking her lips. “Mother needs you.” 

As she says that, a swarm of bugs burst through the door, clouding around you for a moment. Their buzzing almost seems to mimic your cries, some landing on you to wrench more screaming from you, before they pull away from you, concentrating at the foot of the bed, eventually forming Cassandra, Bela eventually sauntering in as well.

“Y-Your mother’s asking for me?” You near-squawk.

Cassandra snorts. “Of course. What else?” She asks. “Mother really likes you. Now, upright.”

You’re so spooked by the intrusion and the presence of all three sisters that you hurriedly slide away from Daniela and onto the floor, sliding into your shoes. Swallowing, you jolt at the sisters approaching you, a bead of sweat falling from your brow when their hands raise.

“Oh shit.”

They each grip you with both hands, suddenly turning into insects aside from them and holding you in the air, and just like with only Daniela you’re gliding. Only this time, you’re screaming horrendously, but the sound is so drowned out by the triplets’ sadistic giggling you’re unsure you’re making a sound. One hand crawls up your leg, causing you to squirm, and for a moment their faces materialize just so you can see them laugh at you for a moment.

Through sharp turns and whatever else, you’re eventually unceremoniously tossed to your feet, standing in front of a door. Whirling around, the girls materialize again, waving at you before dispersing into their swarms, swirling around you to make you squeal before flying off, likely to get to their own duties. Biting your lip, you turn back around, raising your hand to knock on the door.

“Enter,” Lady Dimitrescu’s voice calls. As you do, she continues, “Very good. At last, someone else around here with any sort of dignity and manners.”

“You... wanted to see me?” You ask, closing the door behind you.

“Sit.”

Peeking, you note the bench near the vanity where she’s sitting, avoiding eye contact with her reflection as it applies overwhelmingly red lipstick. Softly, you sit down in it, folding your hands on your knees.

“As you’re most definitely aware, I’ve had a discussion with my daughters as to what to do with you, and I’ve come to understand you’re certain to meet a grizzly demise if you attempt to leave this place.” The calm in her voice and the way she momentarily looks at you through the mirror twists your stomach. “... Ah. Dear girl, your heartbeat - I can hear it. It’s music to my ears.”

Pausing, she wipes some stray lipstick from the corner of her lips. From here, she looks normal sized, but you’re a good stretch from her. Swallowing, you try your best to remain composed. With no one coming to save you or even knowing you’re here, your best hope of survival is appealing to this giant of a woman.

“My daughters and I both adore you - and I mean adore you.” At first she cranes her neck, but then decides to turn her chair around, gesturing at you with her lipstick. “Look at you, my dear! Delicious blood, yes, but such pretty looks - it’d be a waste to just toss you down into the cellar.”

“So... what are you going to do to me?”

She throws her head back to laugh. “To you, the four of us can agree anything’s possible. With you, the decision itself is clear.” Her smile falls into a straight, business-y line, and you gulp. “You’ll become a resident of my castle, and you will not die a horrible, painful death.”

Relief at not dying washes over you, but then she stands and approaches you in what feels like a blink, and you flinch.

“However.” She uses a gloved hand to lift your chin. “You are not to leave, disobey, and you will repay us by allowing us to drink your blood. That is our condition. If you decide you don’t want to stay, then out of the good of my heart, I can promise you right now that your death in this room will be quick and painless.”

Your face grows cold. So you can be a personal bloodbag for all four denizens of the castle, or you can die. Splendid.

“Think about it. No one’s going to live to even see your face if they try to save you, and you’ll have the pleasure of being in my care as opposed to that fool Heisenberg,” She hums along with a chuckle deep in her bosom. “And if you want my personal opinion, you’d be far better off.”

Do you really have an option? “... O-Okay. I’ll stay in the castle.”

Her face brightens with that signature smile. “Ah, good girl!” She leans down and her hand reaches to pat your cheek. “We’ll find ways to take your blood that won’t leave scars, don’t you worry.”

Ring! Ring!

With a roll of her eyes, she straightens up. “As if there’s any more ways to take up my time...” She beckons you to follow as she returns to her vanity, and you awkwardly stand at her side as she sits back down, picking up the phone.

A moment passes, and she composes herself. “Mother Miranda, I regret to inform you that something unexpected has happened, and I’ll be a bit late for the meeting.” Glancing at you, she beckons you again, scrunching up her nose at your confusion. Lifting her free hand, she pats her lap twice, and beckons you again.

You blink. Does she want me to sit in her lap or something?

“Are you... asking me to sit?” You ask, and she nods. As you begin the motion she guides you the rest of the way with her hand around your arm, and you awkwardly shuffle so you’re comfortable.

Through her dress and your clothes, she’s cool to the touch, but not to imply she’s a walking corpse or something. Glancing at her reflection, she gives you an almost cheeky smirk as she adjusts her arm to keep you balanced.

“No, Mother Miranda.” Who is...? “Yes, of course, I understand the importance of this meeting. This will take me about fifteen minutes at most... Yes, Mother Miranda, I swear.” Then she nods, her hat gracing your forehead. “Very well.”

Then she hangs up the phone, letting out an exasperated huff. “So demanding.” And with no effort at all, she lifts you below your arms and stands, putting you on your feet like a toddler, patting your head. “You’ll have the pleasure of dining with us tonight. Since she seems to like you so much, Daniela will be responsible for ensuring you know where to go and what to do.”

Trying not to protest or show nervousness, you nod, to which she gives a satisfied upward nod.

“Now then, you’re grown enough to remember where your room is, yes? But feel free to explore the castle - but allow me to warn you, the cellar is off-limits. Do you understand?”

You nod. “I-I understand, Madam.”

“Very good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have matters to attend to. When I return, I expect you’ll be well accustomed to the castle.” She flashes you a smile, her hip gracing your shoulder as she passes you. “And [Name]?”

You turn to face her, some sweat dripping down your neck. “Yes, Madam?”

Her eyes narrow, but her smile doesn’t drop; a look that says you’re in for something when she returns. “Enjoy your stay.”

Then she leaves, and the door shuts behind her, leaving you to listen to the sound of her footsteps fading away. Swallowing, you meander towards the door yourself, pushing it open.

And just as you do, the buzz of the insect swarms fill the air, and you clench your fists to stay calm even as the sisters materialize. With playful yet sinister smiles, they approach you, with Daniela going behind you to hug you just like before.

“Mother’s left for her meeting,” Cassandra points out.

A crazed look in her eye, Bela reaches and pokes your face. “I haven’t cut open a pretty girl in a while!”

“No, no~!” Daniela near-whines. “I’ve always liked the cute ones - I say we play with her a little.”

“And Mother made us promise not to leave scars.” Cassandra reaches out, cupping your chin, grinning at your face losing color from the dread twisting your stomach. “So don’t worry. We’ll be gentle.”

“We promise,” Daniela purrs.

[coffee--writes]

The Message on the Wall

Pairing: James Potter x gn!Reader - Marauders x Reader Content

Word Count: 5.9k (jdklfdh im sorry) 

Warnings: Underage Drinking, Implications of... yeah. I think that’s about it. 

Requested: Yes, a long time (i feel bad for only getting to it but i hope the nonnie stuck around to see this piece) by an anon who asked for James x Reader with childhood best friends to lovers trope. 

Summary: In which, James Potter was busy writing himself a message on the wall but was too blind to read what he had to say. 

Pictures. 

In actuality they were only images. For Muggles, they stood stagnant, for James Potter they moved slightly. 

But in deeper meaning pictures were moments in time captured in a frame. They were a personal reminder of things that were, things that used to be and anything else that didn’t fall into one of the other two categories. 

James Potter adored pictures. His room was littered with them. A handful were of Quidditch players and Tutshill Tornados merchandise. One picture of him and his parents sat on the nightstand beside his bed. But adjourned on the wall to the left was a mostly blank wall. One small Tornados banner was pinned against the soft red paint and in the middle a picture he was particularly fond of. 

The film captured James at the age of four. A broom was clutched in his left hand and a toothy smile on his face as the wind rustled his hair causing it to stick up more than it already did. Beside him was you, your eyes crossed and your tongue licking a swirled lolly. 

When his mother had shown him the picture you had just left for home, making a young James quite sad that his friend couldn’t stay just a little longer. Euphemia Potter had smiled, handing the picture to her son. “It’s okay, my love. Now you have a piece of Y/N with you.” 

“How?” James had asked, his lower lip jutting out in a frown. 

Euphemia laughed. “The picture captures you together. Look how happy the two of you look!” she points at her son’s smile in the photo. “You can do whatever you’d like with it.” 

James grinned, his eyes lighting up once more. “I want to hang it, mum!” he dragged her hand into the bedroom with him, climbing on top of his bedsheets and pressing the picture to the wall. “Here. That way I can say goodnight to them even when they're not here.” 

Euphemia Potter smiled watching as her son tucked himself under the covers. “That’s a brilliant idea, James.” With a wave of her wand, two pins fastened themself to the wall, the photo beneath. 

That was the beginning of James’s love for pictures. More pictures would accumulate such as the one of him and his father at a Tornados game. Drawings you would give him of flowers and Kneazles. The pictures would come and go but yours stayed the same. An additional picture of you and James would later be added three years later when the two of you were seven. James’s broom no longer sat in one hand, instead was gripped with two and hovering five feet off the ground. He had a wicked smile on his face, his glasses slightly falling down his nose. You sat behind him, your small fingers clutching to his waist as the picture captured you mid-squeal. 

Time went on yet the pictures of the two of you stayed the same. Along with your drawings, which had improved dramatically since you were seven, he’d occasionally find a Hollyhead Harpies banner plastered to his wall. When he came to scold you, pink banners adjourned in his hand, you’d laugh at the pout on his lips. He could never stay angry at you and always joined in on your laughter. 

The final year before things would slightly change was the year before going to Hogwarts.  A third picture was added at the age of ten. The Potter family had accompanied your family on a trip to Diagon Alley in which you had bought your screech owl, Juniper. James had one arm wrapped around you. His hair was untidy and a goofy smile was on his face as his other hand flicked your forehead. Your eyes were closed mid-laugh as one hand pushed his face away and the other perched with Juniper who screeched happily on your available arm. 

Again, time went on quickly and changes were made in James Potter’s room but you were not one of them. He packed up his Hogwarts things the night of August 31st, leaving his room full of pictures with a soft smile. 

You rode on the train with him, both of you waving goodbye to your loved ones. You grinned at him wickedly, “Excited?” you ask. 

“Definitely.” he responded. “Do you have money for the trolley?” 

You slide into a train compartment, one small boy already sitting there. “Yeah. Do you need to borrow some?” 

James nodded and you rolled your eyes, handing money over to the kind witch who passed by, grabbing pumpkin pasties for you and Bertie Botts for James. 

The ride was life-changing as you made acquaintances with similar mindsets. Two more boys entered your compartment and along with the scrawny boy from before, all of you made it to Gryffindor. “Where dwell the brave at heart” as James liked to put it. 

First year was an interesting feat with James quickly falling head over heels for Lily Evans. Your friendship never faltered although the thought of her in his life made you feel odd. However, you were sure she wouldn’t be in his life for quite some time seeing as his persistent efforts were met with an equally stubborn rejection. 

“She’s a firecracker, that one.” he sighed, walking beside you down the hall after another devastating encounter with Lily. 

“You’re just embarrassing yourself now, my boy.” you reply, dubbing his nickname to ease the comment. 

He smirked. “Then why do you hang out with me?” 

“Because, I’m the one who makes sure you don’t cross the line from embarrassing to mortifying.” 

He shakes his head with a silly grin. “I doubt that. You love me. That’s why.” 

You laugh, an effective way of avoiding the curious ideas that ran through your young mind. “Don’t throw around the l- word so quickly! You’ve got to mean it.” 

James bumped your side. “But I’ve known you for years.” 

You ruffle his hair, making it messier than it already was. “Save it for Evans.” 

---

The year ended and the two of you went home to Northern England hands overflowing with Gryffindor red, spirits high with a drive for Quidditch practice and addresses from Remus, Peter, and Sirius tucked away in your pockets. 

James’s room changed tremendously that first year. Alongside the Tutshill Tornados merchandise were small Gryffindor banners, lions enchanted to roar at the touch. You had given him one of your sketches from the school year, one of Sirius and him laughing in Transfiguration, another of him and Peter skipping stones. The pictures of the two of you still remained, a small collection of dust coating the edges which he wiped away with a smile. 

Second year was merry and full of high spirits. James had acquired his father’s invisibility cloak which gave cause to a number of nighttime rendezvous and adventures in the kitchens. Suspicion arose on Remus, whose monthly disappearances came to your attention. With the help of Sirius and Peter, the group soon discovered Remus’s guarded secret and accepted the furry little problem with open arms. 

The Lily Evans situation did not get any better with James’s persistence holding up fiercely and her hatred toward him even more harsh. As Sirius had dubbed it, “Mate, at this point you’re never getting married.” Remus and Peter whole-heartedly agreed, sending James into an adolescent spiral. 

“What if I don’t get married, Y/N/N?” he confided in you by the shores of the Black Lake. 

You chuckled, his delirium quite adorable. “You’re going to get married, James. Trust me.” 

He sighed, snapping a twig between his fingers. “It’s not definite.” 

“Nothing is.” you counter. 

James groaned. “I know. I know. But I would like it to be. Wouldn’t you?” 

You contemplated the idea, a thought coming to your head. “What if it could be?” 

He stared at you curiously. Your eyes lit up and James grinned. “Hit me.” 

“If by the time we are thirty neither of us are married then we should get married to each other.” you propose, a proud smile on your face. “That way we can have a definite of our own.” 

James grinned. “I like that idea. But what if one of us gets married before that?”

You frown. “Then I guess it’d be a flop. But it’s better than nothing, right?” 

He agreed quickly. The sun was setting into a pond of pink. The wind rustled and birds chirped and the moment seemed picture perfect and James wished a camera would magically pop up and capture the moment so he’d be able to hang it on his wall for years to come. It did not work that way, instead, he turned to you with a smirk. “I don’t have anything to propose with.” 

You looked down in embarrassment and gave him a shove. “We’re not getting married yet! It’s just a deal not the real thing.” 

He rolled his eyes at you. “I know but it feels as though something special should happen. How about we seal with a spit swear?” 

You stick your tongue out and pretend to gag. “Ew! No.” you flick his forehead causing him to wince. He grins before flicking you back, watching as you fall back onto the grass. 

“I guess a flick works as well.” he sighs. “Y/N Potter has a nice ring to it.” 

Your head falls against his shoulder. “I can’t believe I might be a Potter one day. Sounds disgusting.” 

James laughs, the weight of your head feeling oddly familiar against his shoulder. “Oh, shut it!” 

--- 

The years came and went. Third year, James made the Quidditch team and he quickly became a ladies man despite his obvious pining over Evans. You made sure to keep his feet on the ground as you didn’t want his ego to get larger than it already was. You came to all his games, occasionally bringing a camera so that James could add his moments of glory onto his beloved room wall. There was the time he tried dedicating a shot to you and ended up getting knocked off his broom by a Beater. 

He made the next one thankfully. 

On the other hand, you had earned the title of master dueler amongst the third years for your quick arm and sharp spellcasting. While James was at Quidditch practice: you, Peter, Remus, and Sirius would practice in empty classrooms although after a while they became rather bored as you would always win. James would cheer you on, even when you beat him there was a compliment of your skill and he was more than anything, proud. 

The summer between third and fourth year was the year the Marauders got their first group picture together. Everyone had met up at the Potter residence, Euphemia Potter snapping the photo with Sirius and James to the left, Peter and Remus on the right, and you in the middle. James hung the picture on his wall as it was routine by now. The whole gang got to see his famous wall of pictures, his life an open storybook to anyone who looked closely. 

Fourth year sparked love, pranks, and new ideas. Peter went on his first date, flaming at the cheeks as his friends waved him off embarrassingly. Group pranks ensued upon Snape whose oily hair was dyed all colors of the rainbow by the end of the first semester. You had gone on your first date as well, Steven Goldstein from Hufflepuff whom James threatened to beat up and Sirius who gave him “a talk”. 

Most importantly, the group addressed Remus’s furry little problem seeing as each year he came back with more and more scars than before. Two ideas sparked up from the meeting and both were large feats that every member of the group was willing to take. 

“So wait..” Peter asked. “You want to make a map… that tracks everyone in Hogwarts?” 

James nodded and Remus shook his head. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. Don’t look at me that way, Remus.” 

Remus shoved him lightly. “How would that even work though? Isn’t it a little invasive?” 

You smiled. “It most certainly is invasive but think about how awesome it’d be to have something like that. All we would need is…” 

“A complex locator spell.” you and Sirius said together. 

Everyone grinned. “Pete can do the drawing and sketching. He’s good at that stuff. We should check for secret passageways. All of us could do the magic. We’ve got the brains.” 

“I don’t think someone with brilliant magic technique would use the word brain to describe their intelligence.” you point out. James simply flicked you in the head. 

“And there’s the Animagi thing…” Sirius added. 

“That’s a reach.” Remus replied. 

“More than the map?” Peter questioned. 

Remus sighed. “You guys don’t have to do that for me. I’ve been transforming on my own for years. No need to have buddies now.” 

“Nonsense.” you say. “Anything for you, Rem. This is what you deserve.” 

The friends looked at each other silently. “Are we ready to pull off the biggest student feat in Hogwarts history?” Sirius whispered. 

“Aye, aye.” Everyone cheered. 

Peter grinned. “We’re up to no good.” 

James smiled back. “Then let us manage our mischief well.” 

WIth that the group commenced, exiting the abandoned classroom they used and taking off to class. James walked by your side as you headed to astronomy together. 

“I can’t wait till we pin this down. It’s going to be an epic year.” he grinned. 

You chuckle. “I know you’ll end up stalking someone, Potter. Evans by the looks of it.” 

He shook his head, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Nope. I’m gonna stalk you instead. See if you’re hiding any secrets from me.” 

You smile. “What secrets could I possibly be hiding from you, my boy?” 

James nudged your side with a smirk. “You’re telling me a good-looking fellow like yourself isn’t sneaking off with some other lad other than their best friends.” 

You shook your head, the word “good-looking” repeating itself in your mind. “No. If I did I would tell you.” 

“Good.” he said, starting up the stairs to the Astronomy tower. “I don’t need some arsehole stealing you away from me.” 

You roll your eyes. “No one could ever steal me from you, James. I’m not a Quaffle.” 

He nods with a grin. “Yeah. I suppose you’re more of a Snitch.” 

You laugh, dashing up the stairs in hopes that you wouldn’t be late for your Astronomy lesson.

--- 

As one could guess more pictures and sketches made their home on James Potter’s wall. It was a cluttered mess but beautiful nonetheless. It was as though the wall had an expression of its own with its array of Quidditch jerseys, photographs, art, and ticket stubs. Nobody touched the wall except James as he liked having every picture in place. His wall organized the way he liked it best… messy. 

Fifth year was the first year you didn’t see James every week. He had eagerly signed up for Quidditch camp and had left for Wales with promises that’d you write about the boys and the progress on the map and Animagi projects. The projects went well with Peter completing the outline sketches of the maps, Remus filling piles of papers on Animagi transformations and finally Sirius and you gathering the needed ingredients for the Animagi process. 

You had grown taller over the summer, hair lightening and your features more accentuated. Eagerly you awaited James’s return and when the time did come you had woken up early in the morning to see him arrive by Portkey on the hill. The second he appeared you had rushed over, engulfing him in a hug. You had missed his touch, his constant nagging and overall  the James Potterness that followed him around that would never fade with time. 

Meanwhile, he was left out of breath, a couple of inches taller and a smile on his face as he squeezed you back. “Y/N/N! I missed you, you lazy hag.” 

You laughed, messing up his hair that sat more neatly than in previous years. “And I missed you, my boy.” 

The next days before school were spent catching him up on the map and at the pond by your house. With each swim you noticed the changes in James such as the six-pack the tedious trials at Quidditch camp had given him. 

“Oi!” you shouted, splashing him in the face. “Whatever happened to the skinny twig that was my friend?” 

He smirked. “Oi! Why are you looking?” 

You bit your lip, not allowing him to see you flustered. “I’m sorry. You’re my best friend and it’s a very noticeable change!” you pointed at his toned stomach. 

James tapped your nose and you stared at him in annoyance. “It’s only noticeable if you want to notice it.” 

He turned around, making to walk back to the shore of the pond. You didn’t remember when James had gotten so cheeky although he’d always been that way, just never with you. Wickedly, you took the bucket that floated beside you and dunked it in the water. With a mischievous grin, you snuck up behind him, dumping the bucket of water on his head. 

James turned around with a gasp, jaw dropped. You laughed, a wide smile on your lips at the sight of him drenched in his swim trunks. It wasn’t until his arms tucked along your waist, dragging you to the deeper ends of the pond did the smile drop and his return. 

“Why you little…” you seethed. “James Fleamont Potter if you-” 

It was too late by then, your body submerged in the water and you swam up, his laughter the first noticeable sound. You scowled as he doubled over with laughter on the shore. “I’m never letting you go to Quidditch camp again.” 

The two of you walked home as the sun set, many flicks to the forehead ensuing as you did. 

---

Fifth year was by far the most epic year of your Hogwarts experience. Everything was prepared for the Animagi transformation and phase two of the map project was ready to launch with Remus having gained access to the restricted section of the library. 

It seemed as though the whole student body had recognized the change in James’s physique which only led to an inflation of his ego. The worst part was that Lily Evans just so happened to be one of those said noticers and while her defiance toward him was still strong, she could be caught staring in class much to James’s delight. 

The Animagi process began as soon as the September full moon. While Remus suffered in the Shrieking Shack, the four other Marauders set their Mandrake leaves into their mouths preparing for an uncomfortable month of bitterness on their tongues. The leaves were held under their tongues when talking in class and for the rest of the time they resorted to note passing leaving the entirety of Hogwarts wondering why the Marauders went quiet so suddenly. 

During the period between moons, they worked on their map. Stacks of books, both regular and restricted, lay among them. Each had a quill and parchment used to take note of spells or pass messages back and forth. As you worked you received a message from James in the form of a crumpled ball of parchment. You smoothed it out with a sigh. 

I hate this thing. It tastes like piss and lime. 

You held back a chuckle, writing your own message next to his. 

You’re not backing out of this, Potter. It’s for Remus. 

He stuck the leaf under his tongue in order to stick it out at you and you rolled your eyes. He scribbled a message back. 

I know. I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t complain about it. 

You smirked, tossing the parchment back to him. 

If your scrawny arse can come back from Quidditch camp with abs then you can stomach keeping a leaf in your mouth for a month. 

He smoothed it out and you went back to your work only getting in a minute's reading before the parchment bounced off your head. You scowled at his antics but he only looked at his book with a smirk. Unfolding the paper, James’s messy handwriting took up the last blank space on the parchment. 

Nice to know you still think about my abs. 

Your stomach squirmed at the feeling that inflamed from his words and the smirk that was on his face. You flicked him on the head, throwing the parchment into the fire before Sirius could ask what it was. 

--- 

It took moon soaked leaves, untouched morning dew and a lightning storm to finally complete the transformations. It was on a late November night that a lightning storm finally struck and in the fifth corridor bathroom the Marauders made their first transformations. For Peter, a small rat with a wriggling tail. For Sirius, a pure black dog. For James, a large stag with mighty horns. For you, a sly fox with sleek orange fur. 

Thus that night began the use of the nicknames: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Vixen. Dubbed by James and agreed upon all around. The final full moons of fifth year were spent prancing around Hogsmeade alongside Remus whose scars diminished with each transformation spent with his friends. 

The downside of it all was the building tension in the school. With Lord Voldemort on the rise, more and more of your classmates were showing their true colors. Select Slytherins no longer wore short sleeves, their wrists always covered even in the heat of summer. Watchful eyes and protective glares, you went home for summer in worry. 

Over the summer, Prongs lost his Pronginess. He wrote to Lily Evans most days of the week and now the things she sent him hung on his wall alongside you and the Marauders. An anticipated change but a scary one still. Every outing with James became more about Lily and less about anything else. You could feel your best friend slipping away and you told him so the night before the start of sixth year. 

The two of you sat together in the branches of a tree. The sun hit your skin in rays and clouds passed by over your heads. James’s voice droned on about his darling Lily flower and with an unknowing malice you snapped at him. “Shut it!” you groaned. 

His eyes looked over at you, hands holding your head in remorse. “Aren’t you happy for me? You’ve been acting off all summer.” 

“I’ve been acting off because you’ve been acting off. I am happy for you but Evans is the only thing you talk about these days. What happened to talking about the Tornados or sneaking out together for milkshakes?” 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s different now.” 

“Well, it shouldn’t be.” you exclaim. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t grow up. I support the idea of you no longer being a cheeky bastard. If you’re happy with Evans then I am happy for you. But being with Evans doesn’t mean you have to forget about me or the Marauders or everything else.” 

James nodded, a leaf spinning between his fingers as he frowned. “I’m sorry, Y/N/N.” 

You shake your head. “I am too. Sorry I snapped at you, my boy.” your head fell onto his shoulder the same way it had done for years only this time things had changed. The weight still felt perfect on his shoulder but now his stomach turned and his breath hitched at the close proximity. Things were indeed changing although the two of you only danced around it, not wanting to address the mess you two had made. 

Your head was still against his shoulder as you spoke quietly. “Just remember you’re not a Quaffle.” 

He chuckled, stroking your hair affectionately. “I guess I’ll be the snitch then.” 

You smiled, swimming in the feel of the James Potter you knew so well. Later that night, the two of you snuck out like old times, sharing a chocolate milkshake and sending each other glances the whole way home. 

--- 

Sixth year was a rollercoaster. The map was finished, all the efforts poured out finally receiving an equally impressive outcome with the parchment branded with the names of the Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Vixen. Remus had his first kiss and Sirius decided on leaving home and James welcomed him with open arms. 

The other Marauders were not impartial to the changes in your and James’s behavior. The miniscule changes in his face when you napped on his lap or the flush of your skin when he rustled your hair. In all honesty, it was as though the two of you were finally waking up and seeing what they’d been seeing all along. However, your own defiance was strong and love wasn’t simple. James was still under the impression that his heart beat for Lily Evans and you flirted around your feelings as opposed to finally confronting them. 

When Gryffindor won the Quidditch season, you were the first one in James’s arms to congratulate him. He spun you around, a large grin on his face. “We won!” 

You smiled. “That you did, my boy. Celebration calls and are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “Hmm? Let me guess… Firewhiskey?” 

“That’s my boy.” you cheer, linking your arm in his and dragging him off the field as Lily Evans watched the boy she had taken a chance on run off with someone else.

---

Firewhiskey made for a fine celebration and resulted in James and you collapsed on the floor of the Gryffindor common room at two in the morning. His glasses were crooked as he stared up at the ceiling and your hair fell in waves on the floorboards. 

“Blimey, I can’t believe we won.” James chuckled, his words slurring together slightly. 

“You deserve it, my boy.” you say, lightly punching his arm. “How are you feeling on this fine evening?” 

His cheeks went pink but a smile overtook his features making for a hilarious expression when he shouted out. “Randy!”  

You doubled over with laughter. “Gosh, James. I don’t need to hear about this.” you shove his grinning face with your palm. 

“What, you've never felt randy before?” he asked, a childlike expression on his face juxtaposing such an intrusive question. 

You hide your embarrassment behind a grin. “Yes, but I’m not going around telling you about it.” 

He tapped your nose with the tip of his finger and your stomach swirled. “And why not?” 

You turned over to your side. “I’m not sure best friends tell each other about being randy, Prongs.” 

James sighed. “I guess not. But how are you feeling, my little vixen?” 

With a swig of your drink and a grin you reply. “Randy.” 

The two of you erupt into fits of laughter. James pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I suppose it’s the whiskey then.” 

You stare up at the ceiling. “Yeah, I suppose so.” 

Both of you knew that wasn’t the case. You knew that despite the whiskey slowing the gears of your mind you still noticed James’s hand laying by your waist. You could still trace the outline of his chin and the bridge of his nose. James could still see the curve of your lips and the rise of your chest. Firewhiskey was most definitely not the cause of your randiness. 

But it was the easiest thing to blame. 

--- 

Your birthday came soon after with the Marauders celebrating in joy. Presents were exchanged with Remus giving you some books, Peter knitted (with the help of his mother) a pair of mittens for you and Sirius had gifted you a record to play on your stereo. 

But James had to be extravagant. It wasn’t everyday his best friend turned seventeen and he marked the occasion with something expensive yet meaningful. When you opened the small box inside had been a silver fox ring. It’s eyes sparkling gems that twinkled as if blinking. 

“James, I’m going to kill you.” you seethed. “This is way too expensive. I’m turning seventeen not fifty.” 

He laughed. “Oi, woman! It’s fine. Nothing I couldn’t handle. Besides, only the best for you.” 

You stared at it once more before engulfing him in a hug. “It’s beautiful, my boy. Thank you.” 

His arms squeezed your waist, breathing you in and remembering the sweet smells of childhood and friendship rolled into one. His eyes closed and it was as if he had drifted off into a pleasant dream. “Of course, my little vixen.”

You made certain to flick his head after. 

He was starting to regret giving it to you already. 

---

Sixth year came to a close with an even more devastating end than the last. The war only continued to rage with Muggles being murdered miles away from the school, Muggle-borns driving into hiding. Sirius’s brother was slowly falling into line with the other Slytherins, devoting their hours to the torture of Muggleborns, Lord Voldemort and the likes. 

James left Hogwarts heart-broken when Lily Evans broke up with him on the last day of term. “Look around!” Lily had told him. “You’re blind, James. I’m not the person you want and it’d be clear if you’d stop and take a look.” 

He hadn’t known what she meant and the first week of summer was spent crying and eating ice cream on the sofa with you by his side. His room had become a mess and Lily’s letters no longer remained on the wall instead crumbled up in a ball in the trash. 

Euphemia Potter couldn’t dread to see her son in the dumps any longer and she made sure to tell him so one evening after you had left. 

“James, you need to get your life together, my love.” she whispered, rubbing her sons back reassuringly. 

His words came out muffled into her neck. “It’s hard.” 

“I know.” she soothed. “And I’m always going to be there for you.” 

“Promise?” he asked. 

“Promise.” she smiled. “Now how about you go clean your room. It’s become quite dirty.” 

He nodded, trudging to his room with a broom. Lily’s words repeated in his mind as he entered. “You’re blind, James. Look around!” But there was nothing to look for. All he saw was his wall and a soft smile came to his face as he approached it. The Tutshill Tornado banners clung loosely to the paint and drawings of Kneazles and landscapes and trees. Pictures of the Marauders and Gryffindor lions. 

And finally the ones of you. 

His fingers ran across the picture in the middle. Four-year old James grinning and you licking a lolly. His eyes moved to the next one, seven years old and flying together on a broomstick. A grin broke out on his face as he saw the one with your owl in Diagon Alley, his fingers flicking your forehead. James’s mind was on hyperdrive as he examined each picture, one common factor in almost all of them. 

You. 

You were in many of the photos, a smile adorned on your face. If you weren’t in the photos you were the one taking them, knowing how much he adored them. Any pictures that hung were sketched by your hands. Here was James Potter’s open story, the story of his life all plastered to the wall as though it was an empty canvas. Present in every moment, every aspect, had been you. You had been the start of his book, the picture of the two of you as tots still smacked in the middle of the wall. Yes, he realized. You had started his book and had remained in it for quite some time. 

Lily Evans must’ve noticed and maybe everyone else had too. 

James had been blind to the message that was sprawled across his wall. He had been the one writing it, maybe not knowingly but writing it out all the same. Everyone had seen it except the writer and his subject, the message painstakingly clear years prior to its conception. 

He quickly removed all the pictures from the wall, grabbing each one that hung and piling them up in his hand. The door swung open as he dashed out of his room yelling, “I’ve got to go, mum!” before running out the front door. The hills of green were illuminated by the night sky, the stars burned for James as he hopped over branches and boulders to get to you. 

Your house was in the distance, your figure standing a few feet away from the home. He called out to you, your eyes turned to meet his. When he reached you, he paused, catching his breath. 

“James, what on Earth are you doing here?” you laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder as he breathed. 

He stood up straight, panting as he held up a photo. “This is us when we were four. The first photo we ever took together.” 

You squinted at him. “Right?” 

He shuffled through the pictures, fingers tracing each one. “And this is from when we were seven. That one from when we were ten. You gave me this drawing when we were six because you loved Kneazles and wanted one as a pet. That drawing was from the first year when we went skipping stones at the Black Lake and you sketched me and Peter.” 

Your face melts slowly. “James, I don’t understand. You’ve had these for years.” 

He exhaled, his eyes lighting up. “That’s the thing. I never saw it till now but Lily said I was blind and that she wasn’t the person I wanted.” You nod, wiping the sweat from his forehead with your sleeve and he grinned. “See that right there. That’s what I want.” 

The night air bit at your spine. “You want me to wipe the sweat from your forehead?” 

He shook his head with a soft chuckle. “Not exactly. I want you to wipe the sweat from my forehead for the next year and the next ten and then the next fifty. You’ve been doing it for years already and the thing is… I don’t think I want anyone else doing it for me.” 

You blinked as he came closer, his palms cradling your cheek as you gazed into his eyes. “You’ve been in my life for as long as I could remember and I want you to stay in it for as long as I live. You told me once to not throw around the l-word and I said…” 

“But I’ve known you my whole life.” you mutter. 

“I think I’ve loved you for a while. I just didn’t know it yet.” 

You shook your head as the wind rustled the branches, the windchime on your porch creating soft melodies. A large grin spread across your lips yet you continued to shake your head. “There’s a war, James.” 

He smiled. “Only more the reason to be with me.” 

“But I’ve been with you my whole life.” you tease. 

“Oh, shut up!” he chuckles, before leaning down to capture your lips. At that moment everything made sense. All the pieces of the puzzle sifted into place and the stars applauded you from the sky and the night gale created a ruckus at your shed blindfold. 

“Be my Snitch?” he asked. 

You rolled your eyes, “That’s the cringiest thing you’ve ever said, my boy.” 

He smirked. “Oh, but you love it.” 

“Perhaps I do.” you replied, flicking his forehead for good measure. 

---

Let me know what you thought? Send an ask to be added to my taglist!

Forever Friends: @coperative @awritingtree @officiallydarkgeek @exhsle @lenalxvegood @readzwith-xol @a-candle-maker @datrie @temporaryissue @ungodiys @coffeewithoutcaffeine @magicalxdaydream​

Harry Potter Taglist: @amrtxntia​ @seggsyvampire​@lxncelot​@theravenclawgal​@iamninaanna​ @mashaylaweasley @onyourgoddamnleft​ @irlpadfoot​ @chaotic-fae-queen​ @swanimagines​ @lunalovegoodisgay​@whyisallthecoolstufftaken​ @inglourious-imagines​ @amourtentiaa​ @myshaahmad77 @scurllgirl71