#there was another one where he says he thinks of the drums visually but i couldn't for the life of me find it

[mrschwartz]

Alex Turner most likely has synesthesia: a compilation

“She floats like a niccy rush and stings like a B-flat” (The Blond-O-Sonic Shimmer Trap)

“When you’re experimenting with more genres, it’s so delicate. It’s like a chemistry set: you got like all the boiling tubes and pipettes and you add one or too many drops on the whole thing and it falls apart and you get the wrong colour of the smoke.” (x)

"If desire would be liquid, then it wouldn’t be something you easily sail through, but a rough sea that whirls you around. The rhythm of [Fireside] has those wild motions of desire. If desire is something liquid, it is a rolling boil–like when you’re boiling potatoes." (x)

“That sensation of longing for something or someone, if it were a liquid it’s not something you sail smoothly along in. It’s gotta roll and boil, or it bubbles and coughes and splutters, and I think we wanted the rythm to reflect that in the tune Fireside.” (x)

“I love the color of them shows, [Thunderbirds] and 60′s Batman as well, that technicolor thing. If I could make a song sound like the Joker’s laugh, when it’s all angled and pink... for me it sounds like that, technicolor. [...] I’d love to have drums that sound like that looks.” (x)

“Jamie’s doing a lot of that icy plucking in the background, adding a texture.” (x)

“Alternative Endings was [my idea for a bar name]. [...] You can see that in pink neon light.” (x)

“It was what became a line in a song called 'Aviation'–'The Colorama in your eyes takes me on a moonlight drive'–not completely unremarkable written down but when appropriated by this particular melodic idea and backlit by its chord progression it permitted me to glimpse into what seemed like a new constellation in my imagination, one that every time I heard the demo recording I was encouraged to try and traverse.” (x)

“Franz Schubert the composer said ‘there’s no such thing as happy music’. I always got a kick out of that. Not because I think that music has to be sad but because I think when it most effective there’s an element of it operating within a spectrum that has neither ‘happy’ or 'sad’ at either end of it. Music with lyrics in a language you don’t understand or no lyrics at all has the power to send vehement shivers through your body. It’s almost as if the melody or something else in there has an invisible direct line to the depths of the subconscious. This interests me greatly. I always wanted to use the word 'Colorama’ in a song ever since I saw Antonioni’s Blow Up. It was an unplugged neon light at the back of my mind for years. Some lyrics are declarations of love or hate written in blood or carved in a bus stop, in need of little or no melodic illumination. Some, I believe, are there almost entirely to facilitate it. If I ever thought about it at all I’m sure I used to think the melody was the vessel that carried the lyrics but more recently it has occurred to me that the opposite is often true. The problem with the neon sign analogy is that neon signs are invariably bolted to the wall and full of gas. Melody seems as though its poured rather than sprayed and doesn’t feel as though whatever holds it ought to be fixed to anything. I sometimes imagine each word to be made using a three dimensional open-top glass alphabet. Each letter built to harness and transport the mirror ball liquid marble of the melody. When the 'substance’ fills up the syllables they seem to shimmer and become weightless. With the addition of close harmony I see colours swirl together, parts of the lyrics glow and the way in which they float suggests that something like the 'star gate’ sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey is happening deep inside them out of view.” (x)

“The types of sounds, or the chord progressions, or the music I was composing, let’s say on the piano or on these recordings I was making, definitely informed the lyrics, I feel, as much as the films I was watching or anything that was going on in front of me. It often does seem like it really just comes from the music. Like, that seems to suggest things to me as much as, if not more than, everything else.” (x)

“I like what you say about the pieces in the puzzle. I like the idea that the other part of that puzzle is the music, that the melody completes the lyrics, that you can feel that harmony between lyrics and music, a whole. The lyrics are just a piece of the puzzle, not something you have to decipher, but something that goes together with the music…” (x)

“Because you hit a couple of things on the way there. One was Bond villain–that went off in neon in my mind.” (x)

“Lego Napoleon movie / Written in noble gas-filled glass tubes / Underlined in sparks” (Hello You)

[clay-tries-his-best]

! atsv spoilers !

when i sat down in my theatre seat to see atsv im telling you i was being the most autistic fuck you've ever witnessed. you could practically see the sparkles in my eye, dude.

the spot. my godddd he's so silly. the marketing ploy to make him seem like the side villain from the trailers was so fucking smart. I really thought that Miguel was going to be the main villain considering him fighting miles in pracgjcalky every trailer ever and being in the post-credits scene of itsv. and miles dealing with having to be everywhere at once was very realistic and gave me the classic "oh my god this poor boy this is painful to watch". oh and gwen's beginning scene of the drums just gave me the feeling that the movie was going to be fantastic. like, betrayal, amazing visuals, more gwen?? already a wonderful start. also the fact that the spot's whole reason to turn into a major villain is that nobody, not even the person who caused his disfigurement, would take him seriously- like- HUH???? perfect. wonderful. bro just wanted miles to pay attention to him for a little while.

Pavitr and Hobie were also really great additions to the spider team. Despite the fact that Hobie's accent was so thick and deep that I couldn't understand what he was saying a good third of the time, he still managed to work his way into my top 5 characters of the movie. THAT is good character building. At first I thought he was going to be the stereotypical love rival, considering his first mention was miles getting jealous of him and gwen being friends. I was worried that was how the story was actually going to go when he upstaged miles by breaking done the collider force field, but hes actually a really chill and cool guy. pretty sure he even roots for gwen and miles, so that's pretty funny. Pavitr was also super funny with a great character design. " Chai means tea, you're just saying tea tea! " was probably one of my favorite lines / jokes from the whole movie. His world was also very pretty and SUPER detailed. Props to every artist for Mumbatten.

Miguel and Peter B.'s dynamic was really fun to watch as well. This cryptic emo ass mastermind vampire who has watched people die and destroyed a universe next to this middle aged man in a pink fuzzy bathrobe who's oogling over his daughter. also, the line where Miguel said " I've had the right amount of you today " to peter b instead of " I've had enough of you " like the normal saying goes was kinda queer. just saying. but yeah, great villain, and I do want to see him in the final battle against spot, but I eventually don't want him to be the one to beat spot, y'know? If it was to be anyone, it's obviously going to be miles. Whether it's just miles or miles and gwen or miles and the gang gwen assembled at the end of atsv (WHICH HAD SPIDERNOIR YESSS SPIDERNOIR FANS LETS GOOOOOOO I HAD THE STUPIDEST SMILE ON MY FACE WHEN I SAW HIM IM TELLKNG YOU), in the end it's still gotta be miles.

the collider scene with the spot was really cool. spot may be silly, but he's not dumb enough to be " saved " by his archnemesis who only cared about him when he was about to become a transdimensional eldritch horror. boss move. his final form was really pleasing to look at because you can just see the detail that went into it. Looking at some screenshots, I noticed there were a lot of eyes and I'm pretty sure I saw a version of spiderman (original world 1610 peter, possibly?) staring at miles / the audience. despite him not showing up for another hour, hour and a half, I wasn't mad. If a movie can avoid showing the main villain for that long and still have them integrated properly, just, wow. blown away. oh and this part made me even more interested because his beginning ost, spot 1, I think? his random beats and tunes sounded more silly and disorganized and clumsy, like him trying to take the atm. near the end, he got spot 2, which was more shrill and frightening. I'm not musically trained, and I could still tell that it was scarier, and to me, they sounded very similar. To not have too far of a difference between the two and stroke two entirely different chords is just. ugh. wow.

don't even get me started on prowler miles... RAHHH THE CHARACTER AND WORLD DESIGN FOR UNIVERSE 42!!!! it was so beautiful and scary and breathtaking because there is. no. spiderman. when miles's mom didn't know what he was talking about and gwen wasn't really outside, it hit me like a brick in the head. and alternate aaron??? hello??? he made me physically uncomfortable because of how terrifying his face was. i couldnt even tell if he was wearing makeup or he was just that dramatjcally shaded. the turn miles does to see that it was his dad painted on the wall instead of aaron.... GRAHHHHHH

as an aspiring artist, I can say nothing but wow. that movie, the fact that it was 2 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES???? HELLO??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK THAT MUSTVE TOOK??? unbelievable. and you know that sony felt bad for making us wait on a cliffhanger, so they probably were around 3/4 done with atsv and started working on beyond, so we didn't have to wait as long as we would've if they finished atsv and then started beyond. I'm so glad that those 5 years in the Sony team paid off, because that. was. amazing. my depression is vaporized. im going feral, going wild, going insane. i will not think of anything else until beyond is out. can't wait to see my bbg spot have his villain moment in March 2024!!! <333

[starfirelily]

To start off, One Piece is a sea-faring adventure, and Treasure Planet is a space-sea-faring adventure. One Piece already has some steampunk vibes--though only slight, so putting the world of One Piece into the world of Treasure Planet wouldn't be too weird since a lot of the same mechanics/weapons/ships/things would stay the same or modified a tiny bit. Like, the wavers and Ace's flame-powered boat are almost exactly like Jim's solar/wind surfer.

Sailing ships in SPACE like how cool would it be to see Merry or Sunny just gliding along galaxies and nebulae? Laboon would totally be cool as a space whale (I kind of imagine the whales in that Fantasia 2000 bit called the Pines of Rome).

It wouldn't be a stretch for each arc or island to be it's own planet due to how different a lot of them are (like Drum v Alabasta) and space has a variety of planets that range from inhabitable to possibly habitable (and within science fiction/fantasy that range is much larger and of course includes totally habitable). It would also make total sense for the One Piece, then, to be a planet sized treasure, or at least hidden on a planet.

There's that one major city/port moon looking thing where Jim goes, that actually gives Alabasta, but bigger Sabaody vibes.

Blackbeard before he's really Blackbeard (when he says what he does about dreams in the Jaya/Skypeia arc) reminds me a lot of Silver. Someone who doesn't seem like a bad guy and actually teaches the kid something. But, in the end, he's a bad guy and you hate to see it.

Just Strawhats in Space! All the same idiosyncrasies, just IN SPACE. I mean, even more places and ways for Zoro to get lost, more for Nami to map out, Luffy would be king of even more. All Blue would literally be a galaxy like Triangulum, NGC 253, or NGC 4736.

Finally, although it draws in another movie (Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas- this scene especially-the very beginning of the movie), since Luffy (and sort of Zoro) is a god, could it not be said that the cosmos is their playground?

I'm sure there could be more taken from this, or thought about because I'm not sure how Devil Fruits fit into this world yet, but it's still fun to think about.

TL;DR I have always just loved the visuals in Treasure Planet and the magic of that world--and bringing the people and the magic of the One Piece world to a Treasure Planet world, would be stunning and amazing.

brain rot for @swordsmans, hope you like it <3

ps- the soundtrack for both sinbad and treasure planet would probably fit in the One Piece world so there's that too

[ananke-xiii]

Some thoughts about tragedy in spn.

Just fyi, I’m not even sure what my point is, so don’t expect anything that’s well-structured or even well written (yay! I’ve got you SO engaged right now, lol). To be honest I decided to share some of my thoughts because I wanted to hear what other people had to say on the topic 😊 so let me know what you think!

My little brain started going off in all directions after 15x20 because I was like “what is going on?”. And I’m not talking about facts, events, stuff that we’ve been presented in the finale and whether I liked them or not. I’m talking about the structure of the whole series. Like, I think SPN never truly decided whether it wanted to be a tragedy or an epic and I personally think that this is what led to the audience’s conflicted response about the finale: ultimately, from a structural point of view, the scale was tipped off in favor of the tragic narrative but the audience was eventually given a (badly made, imho) epic narrative ending.  

We all know that when Kripke pitched SPN he mentioned “On the road” and “The Odyssey” and “real Joseph Campbell stuff”. And in the very first scene of s1e2 we see some guys playing video games (the ultimate media for quests narrative) and one reading “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” so, you know, visually he kept his pitch promises. We’re all set for an “epic hero’s quest across the United States”. But we also know that in s10e5 “Fanfiction” the MOTW is… *drum roll* Calliope! The muse who presides over epic. And she wants to eat The Author of Supernatural . As if this was not enough, Maggie, one of the theatre girls, hits Calliope with… The Odyssey! I know this episode is forever famous for, well, the fanfiction aspect, but I suspect that Robbie Thompson was also telling us something else, considering that by the end of the episode Calliope is dead and Chuck, the established Author and the suspected (back then) God, is alive and well.

So, tldr; I think the load-bearing wall of SPN is tragedy and the epic is just whatever non-bearing walls do.

(and I’m not saying that epic cannot have tragic tones, like at all, I’m talking about narrative structures and, consequently, possible narrative endings)

Because I cannot stop thinking about this thing. Supernatural starts as two guys on a journey to find their father so we got the journey, fine. But what about The Return? Where can they return to? The only “place” that’s identified as a sort of “a return” is the fucking white picket fence life which is a) a “place” that was never really theirs to begin with so, technically, they cannot return there (unless we count it as a sort of “Eden”, a return to their childhood home and memories although, unfortunately, this reading would mean the saddest/most beautiful quest ever cause nobody can really return there without acknowledging the trauma of the fall from it) and b) we know right from the end of the pilot that there is no metaphorical return, as it turns out the narrative is not linear but cyclical. Because, really, whether or not Sam (I will only focus on him as a character for this post or I’ll never stop writing) accepted “The Call” was inconsequential for the story and we’re actually showed this. Sam is, like, this intrinsically tragic hero trapped in an epic hero’s body. His mother died and the story began, his girlfriend died and the story continued. What’s worse is that they both didn’t really have to die, to be honest, because Sam already had demon blood in him. We have literal flashback episodes that show us all the events leading to Sam’s birth. Azazel didn’t care if Sam hunted monsters or not, the demon played his role and the day of reckoning would have happened anyway (and it did and Sam “lost” but this is for another day) like it happened for all the other “special kids”, even if John wasn’t blinded by his grief and didn't vow to avenge Mary’s death .

And I think this is why s4-5 hit so hard and people love them so much: because there the trick is exposed, the narrative was never an epic but a tragedy. Destiny enters the chat once and for all and there’s no going back (and it’s even better when we find out that this supposed destiny is not really a destiny, rather an orchestrated video game but that’s also for another day). We have this whole blood/choices thing that’s a real catch-22. Sam’s demon blood was the result of his mother’s choices. Sam’s childhood and upbringing was the result of his father’s choices (metaphorically speaking "blood"; not just "demon blood" represents Sam's parents choices combined, "the sins of the fathers" sort of stuff) ). So what about Sam’s choices?

And then we have Ruby’s dialogue, one of the best things in the whole spn:

Ruby: No. It wasn't the blood. It was you... and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo! I know it's hard to see it now... but this is a miracle. So long coming. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did. Just to get you here. And you were the only one who could do it. Sam: Why? W-why me? Ruby: Because... because it had to be you, Sammy. It always had to be you. You saved us. You set him free. And he's gonna be grateful. He's gonna repay you in ways that you can't even imagine.

It was NOT the blood! It was YOUR CHOICES! I mean, can’t you see this is the stuff tragedies are made of? And why Sam accepting his fate but deciding the way he was going to handle it is so important? Frankly, I don’t think that s5’s ending is the best finale ever, but I cannot not say that from a storytelling pov it’s a thing of beauty. To me it clearly showed that there was no real “return” for Sam. Not because of his demon blood but because of his choices. His fucking choices led him to where he is now. As in, “everything you audience have seen so far was actually supposed to happen, right until this very ending point. The journey was a diversion, cool, but it was more of a going in circles rather than moving forward. The hero was forever trapped, and he was trapped BECAUSE of his choices, the more he wanted out the more he was forced back in, ha-ha!). And yet he somehow manages to at least write his own ending, which is super sad (but, again, tragedy!) but this is possibly THE ultimate human question: is my ending written or will I be able to write it myself? By the end of s5, meager consolation that it is, Sam at least manages to have an answer to this question (I’m in no way saying that I agree with Sam’s final choice, just that it was *his*).

But, as it turns out, it was not in no way his ending both because the show continued and because in s15 we’re told that the game is doubly rigged since Chuck was the one pulling the strings. And, honestly? This makes me feel so much for Sam, like to me he’s given THE worst ending ever (And Dean’s death has traumatized me to this day and I won’t ever re-watch that scene, it’s just wrong for me on so many levels but, from a narrative pov, his death mirrors Sam’s “death” in s5 so what I have said about him is valid for Dean, too) ((and, I cannot stress this enough, I don’t agree with both decisions, the message they send is too grim))

(((although in Dean's case, he chose the "wrong" path every time forcing Chuck's narrative to find new ways to keep him trapped and this is what makes the two brothers both so different and so similar)))(((because archetypically speaking brothers and/or sisters are the same person, they represent the different parts of the psyche but shhh))).

Sam’s left behind, so he goes and keep on living a blurry life without processing all the trauma. And then he dies. Wow. Most Unsatisfying Ending ever. And it’s as such precisely because Sam was not an epic hero, the return to the ordinary world is not an apt ending for him. Now, I’m not telling that Sam should have died. What I’m trying to say is that the finale is unsatisfying and, whatever they could have done or even will do if they decide to give SPN another chance, will forever be unsatisfying because, after s5 the show was unwilling to let go of its tragic, aching bones but, simultaneously, force-fed them with the winning formula of the epic narrative structure which, in turn, made tha tragedy even more tragic. (s6 really really tried something different with the whole Godstiel thing but, again, this is for yet another day).

New trials, new villains, always worse than the ones before, the seasons’ quests becoming comically impossible (s13 stopped all the pretenses and was like: look, from now on all the quests will just be quests for random ingredients for spell, just don’t ask and keep watching). In the meantime all characters were SCREAMING, they kept making the "same old- same old" mistakes, their scars were never healed, their trauma always THIS close to be resolved and yet... they all wanted catharsis so bad, they all needed a moment to breath but it was never afforded. Why? Because SPN is a friggin' tragedy and affording catharsis to the characters and the audience means the show is over.

So, you see, on the surface we keep seeing the thousands faces of the heroes but we’re never given the opportunity to see the heroes’ real faces. The s15 episode of “The Heroes Journey” maybe tried to tell us so, to warn us in a way.

Wow, I’m done. I guess. Again, please bear in mind that these are just my silly little thoughts, I may even change my mind because I’m incoherent like that. I’m far more interested in your silly little thoughts so let me know what you think 😊

@iminsideyourgrapefruit i'm tagging you because I promised, but as usual ignore if unsolicited ;))

[estellamiraiauthor]

Randomly got reminders of this visual kei band I used to follow last night. I still wonder what really happened with them.

There were three of them when I first started following them: a singer, a guitarist, and a bassist. They used a drum machine and sometimes had another guitarist who was just a “support member” play with them.

The singer randomly left the band… none of the fans were told about this in advance, and I was told at the time that the other band members ALSO weren’t told, that he just didn’t show up for a show one day and went no contact. I was also told that he “ran off with a girl” but that really doesn’t explain why he wouldn’t call and say he was quitting the band?

The guitarist started singing, and they found an actual human drummer and kept going for awhile, but then they broke up. A few months later the guitarist resurfaced, USING THE BASSIST’S STAGE NAME, and playing the same songs with a different band that was almost CERTAINLY yakuza-funded.

I tried to go and see the new band (shadiness aside, I liked the guy’s music), but then HE apparently didn’t show up without warning? It was totally bizarre. I Google them every now and then but I don’t know any of their real names, the bassist had an ancient website that eventually disappeared (think Geocities, the whole site went under, not just him). The guitarist told me where he worked for his day job once, and the place EXISTS, but I’m sure he’s not working there 20 years later.

Obviously some of this did inspire my writing, but I’m sure the real story, whatever it is, is even crazier.

[chantylay]

Victor Vernicos will represent Greece in Eurovision with the song "What They Say."

Descisions were made with this track. It's very stripped back for most of the song with just one drum and one acoustic guitar, but when the music changes the vocal line isn't at any kind of climax. It just sort of happens like the two parts were written independantly without any communication between the lyricist and composer. It's very strange. Mr. Vernicos sings well and has a lovely deep voice, but the diction needs work. He's very hard to understand at times. The lyrics that I could parse seem to be about empathy. Like he's giving softboy who wants to protect everyone. But the youtube autocaption was struggling harder than I was, so I don't have the clearest picture. If they had released this song a month or two ago, I would say another pass with an easy revamp to fill out the sound and sync it a little better, plus diction boot camp and it could be good to go. But the deadline is upon us and they don't have time. The diction can still be worked on, but the backing is going to Liverpool as is.

Music videos are rarely indicitive of live performance, but there is a lack of charisma in front of a camera that I find a little worrying here. He just doesn't quite sell it for me. And it may be a bad edit, or he moght be the sort of performer who needs the feedback of a live audience to really bring out the best performance, but it doesn't set us up for that expectation when we only have the video. They probably won't let him do a rain or snow effect (they add clean up time to the transition between songs so the next person doesn't slip), and the couch isn't used to great effect in the video, so I think the visuals in the live show won't draw too much from the video. The blue lighting will probably stay, and maybe that moment with the flare. Other than that, it's hard to say where they will go with this.

[arlechinav-blog]

Tarantella Documentary Walkthrough

As usual, here is the link to what I will be talking about today. This documentary is in Italian. I could not find the version I have seen with the English subtitles (apologies) but I think the visuals and sounds of the rituals are what matters most. Besides, I'm going to walk you through it below anyway.

In the first 3 minutes of this documentary, the videography lays out the setting that forms the background for the cult. It is hot, the fields have just been harvested, and three women work in the shade of a crumbling church stacking tobacco leaves. The white façade of the church stands out amid the red and black soil. The air is dry. As the women work they sing in the high voice used for worldly matters like love and labor. Work songs themselves are trance inducing by design (same with lullabies and sea shanties) to help the work go by and free the mind from discomfort. Harvest time is when the Brides of the Saint are awakened. It is very much tied to the agricultural cycle and the handling of crops--whatever is being grown in the area, not anything specific. That is when women, who are the ones who do most of the harvesting in this area, are likely to be "pinched" (pizzica)--which is to say struck with a divine madness.

The video then goes on to introduce the musicians who will help the tarantate (the Brides) to reach a point of ecstasy. The music itself has the power to do this both by playing specific traditional melodies and rhythms and also because of the occupations of the musicians themselves and the sympathetic magic they contain. Hair dressing is a traditional form of innate sorcery in many Mediterranean cultures, specifically those who also have spirit traditions. The video then shows you a man drawing water from a well, another act that brings a person into close contact with the spirit world. And then a grave digger, which again... close contact with the spirit world. The video then cuts over to the three men playing possession music for a tarantata (Bride).

The tarantata is secluded behind a curtain where she will remain completely catatonic until the rhythm and melody of the specific spirit that "pinched" her is played. The musicians will not know which one it is the very first time they play for her but each year after they will be able to play it straight away. Either the video is skipping past the tarantata's motionless phase or this is not her first year. A little boy, presumably either her son or one of the musician's, holds an image of the saint that will induce the healing aspect of the ritual. The tarantata emerges, writhing on the ground on her back propelled by what we might call a "crab walk" in English but it is part of the vocabulary of possession for this cult. She wears all white. The rug is white. The cloth she grips is white. And if the musicians are smart they will also wear white because it is the only spiritually neutral color. The tarantata will often seek out and destroy other colors if she sees them, tearing them apart with her hands and teeth.

There is a close-up on the drummer's hand and I want to point out a couple of things about it.  

1. You will note that he has a handkerchief tied around it like a bandage. These are not dainty synthetic drum heads. That is probably goat hide and it will take your flesh off if you sit there and bang on it for hours and hours. There is a self-mortification aspect to this ritual. Not just for the drummer, for all of the musicians. To play past the point of exhaustion and bodily safety is part of the process.  

2. You will also note that he plays in a single-handed style, holding the drum with one hand and beating it with the other. This is significant to the iconographic connection of modern Tarantella and the Dionysian traditions. There are only so many ways to play with one hand.

Shortly after that you see the musicians are gathered very closely around her as she rolls on the rug. They were sitting on stools before she came out from behind the curtain so they have moved into a more active role during this part of the ritual. At this point they are driving the spirit to MOVE. The barber, who is dressed in all white, has the greatest spiritual power of the three--due to his occupation. And you can see him following the tarantata, kneeling down to play next to her ear, and then suddenly she gets up from the floor and starts to run/dance in a small circle in the confined space.

This is the desired outcome. They have to provoke the spirit to rise up so that it can be danced out. At the 7:53 mark she suddenly drops and they stop playing. The family watches from the doorway in concern. She starts speaking in an antagonistic voice to the portrait of the Saint, who is both the cause of her affliction and the (temporary) cure for her affliction. She strikes the portrait and tears it apart with her hands. They are not done!

The musicians get back to work and the spirit toys with them. It gives a little movement in her body just enough to show them they are on the right track but not enough to get the tarantata back up. The video cuts away from the dance and focuses on the journey to the shrine. The evocation is hard work and will go on and on for a very long time. We are skipping ahead a bit.

Now we come to the church of St. Paul in Galatina and you can see a tarantata is being led inside by her relatives who are caring for her at this time. It has become a house full of Brides. They rest, unresponsive under the watch of the icon. Buncha tourists gather around outside to gawk. Their family members light candles, desperately trying to get the Saint to drive the madness out of his Brides. You can hear the sounds of a tarantata in the background making exhausted sex noises. More Brides arrive.

The church will not allow them to play the music inside so some of the tarantate start singing and dancing on their own. A tarantata dressed in black (a very serious affliction) crawls on her hands and knees outside the church roaring like a giant cat. This is more self-mortification. The ones dressed in black are more likely to be violent so the crowd tries to give her enough room but they still want to see what is going on. Eventually she starts skipping to the music the other tarantate are making. Pausing briefly to get angry about the camera. Pretty sure she would have broken it if she could have reached it and that's why it is up there to begin with.

The Brides will scream and run and climb and swing and dance. Their families are in a hard situation because they care for Brides and have to prevent them from getting seriously hurt while all of this is happening. I love how this fancy marching band comes through and nobody gives one single eyeball towards them. Suddenly one of the Brides attacks someone in the crowd and she is pulled away and directed back towards the church. She then begins to convulse. A family member brings her the water from the well. Night falls and that is largely it.

[fridaynights-flickeringlights]

been watching heartstopper lately, and the amount of detail in every episode is just insane, so here's a few things i noticed in the second episode alone.

spoilers, obviously

i'd have done this with the first one if i remembered to do it, but unfortunately i didn't! so we'll be starting with the second episode.

first things first: I LOVE THIS OPENING SHOT. we learn so much about nick in this one shot, yet it goes by so fast that if you blink you'll miss it. he's got a dog. he prefers a warmer tone to his room. he likes cars, sports, and reading. his dog seems to mean a lot to him - there's a portrait of what's probably him and his dog, by the looks of it. the one critique i have with this shot is just to brighten it up a little; as much as i agree with the idea that a darker set up encourages a darker theme, i think the details here are important. it provides characterization to nick that the viewer hasn't really gotten to see yet, especially so early on in the series.

at this point, the only thing the viewer really knows about nick are that he's the head of the rugby team, has been sitting next to charlie, and they have an intense amount of romantic tension, even this early. it's heavily implied that nick is the primary love interest in the series, especially given the events of the previous episode. this is really only further elaborated as the opening sequence goes on; nick has charlie's instagram open, and it's public by the looks of it. he sees pictures of charlie with his friends, a book he's read recently, and him mirroring his cat. yet as he scrolls further, he sees a darker side of charlie - the side that's been bullied, bruised, and beaten for being gay.

which takes us, immediately, here.

he asked for it.

it's not really bullying.

what did he expect?

even this brief showing of charlie's darker past gives nick insight - enough to where charlie looks at him in spite before the title displays. it's a classic example of homophobic bullying, yet entirely accurate to the realities faced by many queer people, sans the use of slurs. nick didn't realize how painful it was for charlie. and now knowing that, and given the implications of the cuts with charlie on the drums, nick knows how he's processing the trauma of it. he understands why charlie's a drummer.

and yet, he can't find the strength to send anything but "are you feeling okay?"

interestingly enough, frankie cosmos' "sappho" begins playing here. a song about a wlw relationship in a mlm focused show, yet still playing into similar themes. "sappho" questions a love that's potentially out of reach, but its narrator wants to acknowledge that they don't care what could happen, as long as they're okay together. and that's kind of where heartstopper seems to be going with it.

once nick offers for charlie to talk about what's been going on, things relax, even for a minute. it's a moment of vulnerability, in both the soundtrack and their instagram messages. and as nick says he cares, "sappho" shifts back into its elevated pattern, trying to harden up any vulnerability shown a moment ago. it's a wonderful use of song and scene; a dialogue-less exchange that further establishes the tension they feel around each other, and by the end, they've both opened up a little.

again, another well-lit and extremely well-done sequence! we learn here how ben and charlie got started - just a simple congratulations. and as we cut back to nick and charlie's dms, there's a thought of ben using him. but ben's nick's friend - or is he? not anymore. it's clear already that nick values charlie more than he values ben, even though they've really only crossed paths in their single shared class.

but nick's only a supportive straight friend.

right?

i do love how heartstopper acknowledges its roots as a graphic novel; it serves as both a great transition point and a method of keeping true-to-form. plus it provides amazing visual effects that stand out amongst an otherwise live action show!

i quite like the introduction of elle here; she's an outsider, the new kid, and yet, she's fine, she says. even as she's asked to make new friends, she still seems like she doesn't fit in. going class after class following behind people who do fit in, who are popular, who do have friends. again, another common high school experience, and yet, one that many queer and trans people have gone through, even beyond schooling.

the use of song haunts these scenes a lot, and really provide characterization in ways that aren't really possible otherwise. elle's here is the ever-iconic "girls" by girl in red; more specifically, the use of it implies her crush-from-afar on tara, how she admires tara a lot and is quite shy herself. even the brief use implies that elle has a small crush on tara.

i love the art teacher. he's a representation of every queer kid's comfort english or arts teacher and provides good advice. cold at times but brutally honest and upfront. a gorgeous characterization only complimented by the fact that he is openly gay.

also his classroom?? amazing set design. take an elementary school's art studio and keep that same energy through high school. we're all still kids internally and this channels all of that. there's paint on chairs and colored silhouettes on walls and glorious bits that just say this is an art classroom and you're welcome here. stellar set work.

[foxonfier]

back on the bjm train?? what can i say, I never really left it. anyway, i’m here to list my (current) top 10 brian jonestown massacre songs bc i feel like it. if you feel like listening along, just click the link on the title of each song to check it out! also, these are in no particular order if anyone was wondering.

hide and seek — uh yeah this is my favorite bjm song to ever exist maybe ever. like, i am in love with this song. if this song turned into a person, i would marry them, because i simply will never get over it. every single day i listen to it because, somehow, it fits every emotion i’ve ever had in my entire life. also, it’s shoegaze, so even better. really, though, any version of this song is wonderful and deserves to be listened to on full volume. the chorus makes me want to kick something and start flying and maybe go to another universe because it’s so unreal how good it is. i wish i could describe it in words, but it’s something that cannot be seen and can only be heard. “we play hide and seek…we play peekaboo.” truly the best lines. i cannot stress how much ecstasy i feel from hearing these words spoken in the background of the chorus. amazing. just amazing.

e to g — otherwise known as “rotary eight,” but was originally titled e to g. a literal shoegaze CLASSIC, one of bjm’s best 90s songs. this song simultaneously makes me want to start weeping and screaming at the same time because i love it so much. it makes me emotional, yet also happy. i simply cannot explain it. anton’s voice is so angelic, it makes me tear up just a little thinking abt it. i will never get over this song. it’s the epitome of my soul. it is everything. it simply must be experienced and felt to even begin to understand it.

chameleons — another classic from pol-pot’s pleasure penthouse (my second favorite album). the first time i heard this song i literally cried. i think the post from that night is somewhere on my old tumblr. anyway, this song feels like a warm hug from your best friend, like someone you really care about is comforting the hell out of you. i genuinely can’t describe it, as is becoming the norm for this list, but seriously. it’s difficult to put into words how much this song means to me. i just know this is one of the best tracks on its album. it wouldn’t be a certified shoegaze classic if wasn’t unreleased!

that quiet song — if you couldn’t already tell, i’m on a bit of a shoegaze binge, but what can i say? that’s my favorite genre of bjm music (and what i believe to be their best music). anyway, this song makes me feel…many different things. it’s so nostalgic to me, like i’ve heard it before, but at the same time i don’t know where i ever would’ve listened to it in my childhood. no one else in my family knows bjm. but it’s so familiar! i think that’s why i’m so drawn to the song. also, it makes me really emotional and gives me a feeling of closeness to the band, like i’m at one of their concerts in the early 90s, when they still weren’t super well known. it’s a look into the past that makes me appreciate bjm so much for what they’ve accomplished. it’s just a beautiful song. nothing more needs to be said.

super-sonic — taking a bit of a turn from the shoegaze comes this certified dandy warhol-turned-bjm banger. the intro is so good i’m kicking my feet just listening to it. the drums, the beat, the visualization of this being played in concert. so amazing. i have no words for how much i fucking love this song. it makes me want to get up and dance and scream the lyrics without a care in the world. if you ever see me grooving along to a song with my earphones on, just assume it’s this one.

cabin fever — FUCK, i think this song made me love matt hollywood and everything he’s ever produced in bjm. but like, seriously, this song is so good and the fact that it does sound somewhat uplifting but also has this slightly sad part to the music, giving hint to the fact that the lyrics are about depression and wanting to die!!! sign me up for real. the guitar riff is just SO good throughout this entire song, and the vocals are so amazing and i rlly just like everything here.

got my eye on you — this is a newfound favorite of mine. i heard it from a youtube vid of one of their live shows and literally fell in love! the beat is so jammable and i absolutely LOVE joel’s part during the middle, him just randomly singing/talking is so great. every time i hear this song i wish i was at one of their concerts bc this one must be THE SONG to hear live. so here’s to hoping i hear it next time!

spanish bee — oh my god this song makes me go feral. first off, the beginning being completely done with sounds from anton is so cool! the mic being tilted, crowd cheering, the person talking etc. but then you get to the actual song and oh my goodododifhdbeh it’s SO GOOD. i really enjoy music like this in general, and anton’s voice in this song is probably the best i’ve ever heard it. his singing is so good, just really raw and raspy and genuinely beautiful and yeah idk man it’s so enjoyable. i kind of wish there were more songs where anton could show off his natural voice and singing ability because, clearly he does have that shit. maybe not in the typical music setting, but i really do just love his voice here. also, the guitar makes me want to start like dancing idek it feels like some shit that would play at a family party or something. i just adore it sm. give it a listen!! especially if you like folk music.

not if you were the last dandy on earth — ever since i witnessed that wonderful scene in dig!, i’ve absolutely adored this song. anton clumsily rollerskating up to a dandy warhols show with signed copies of this song is just unbelievably hilarious. iconic, honestly. plus, this song fucking rocks. blasting this driving around is absolutely the vibe, maybe the biggest vibe there’s ever been. i have nothing more to say except that this is one of their songs i listen to every day and there’s a huge reason for that!

food for clouds — this song will always be one of my favorites. i’ve never met a person i couldn’t win over with this song, simply because it’s so jammable. the mixture of the cowbell, tambourine, drums, guitar riff, and trumpet just does something to people. i’ve witnessed it myself. for real though, this song is a complete banger; it’s different from their more rock sounding songs and has more of an alternative kinda feel. but listen to it yourself and judge! and if this doesn’t begin to indoctrinate you into bjm idk what to say </3

and, lastly, an honorable mention:

anemone — of course, i can’t make this list without at least giving an honorable mention to anemone. while not my favorite bjm song of all time, i can acknowledge that it is, objectively, one of their best songs. hearing this at the concert was an amazing experience, seriously! i really do love it though, like, it’s such a classic and i appreciate it so much. actually, it’s the first bjm song i ever heard, and looking back is so surreal. i can’t imagine where i’d be if spotify hadn’t randomly played this song after one of my playlists ended. i still remember exactly where i was when i heard it, around what time of day it was…crazy. i just gotta thank the spotify algorithm for playing this song, because without it, i think my life would be a whole lot more miserable right now.

[musicarenagh]

Lexi Lemonade Crafts Musical 'Flavors' With Her Debut Ep Come on, let’s go inside Lexi Lemonade world! Her first EP entitled “Flavors” sounds like a playlist of emotions – love, lost loves, and discovering self. This is especially so since, as she puts it, “Lexi’s from New Jersey, and her sound is this great melange of sounds; everything from cool to smooth, groovy beats to straight up chill R & B vibes.” In fact, Lexy began singing songs, and creating demos from home during her college days. In 2019 she released her first single, “drip” and it is safe to say that there has been no turning back ever since. For instance, her hits on ‘How Could I’ and ‘Flavours’ epitomize her growth and maturity as an artist. It’s hard to say anything about ‘flavors,’ but it is somehow like a love warning. Sweet indeed but with a warning telling you to take care! For that, Lexi’s music is very colorful and depicts different but beautiful representations of true love. She thinks visually and when she does music, it is just painting a vivid fairy tale in her head. This has all been a learning experience for Lexi. She adores artists such as Rihanna, appreciates fashion and photography, and values her family. In a recent interview with Lexi Lemonade, she shared what inspires her daily life, including the musical vibe of her family. By practicing a lot, she learned how to sing and write music and she still learns something new every single day. Gratitude remains at the core of Lexi’s message to her fans. She is so grateful to her, and she has decided to continue this musical journey together with all these people. Lexi is looking forward to wrapping up her current project. She is very willing to work with other artists, and she still desires to mature further as an artist. Her music is how Lexi Lemonade speaks, and she is prepared to continue revealing these ‘Flavors’ to the world. Listen to Flavors EP below https://open.spotify.com/album/3oAhnRGZJmoEjLWPKY3A9v?si=jD1wSvvdQuCX7F6hV04ryA Follow Lexi Lemonade on Twitter Spotify Youtube Instagram What is your stage name Lexi Lemonade Is there a story behind your stage name? lt started as a nickname when I was in high school! I had a slight obsession with the drink Simply Lemonade to the point people started referring me to Lexi Lemonade. It stuck and i decided to use it for my artist name Where do you find inspiration? I find inspiration in every day life and the beauty in it. I know it sounds cliche but sometimes i’ll just be doing something and the music comes to me 🤣. I tend to reflect about experiences that ive had in my life or something im into in the moment and that could be sort of inspiration for my music What was the role of music in the early years of your life? It was my escape from reality lol especially if i was bored. Music always took me to another place in my mind almost like an alternate universe. Also in my school years I played in the marching band, the Alto Saxophone and was apart of my school(s) choir for about 7 years. Music was always in my life from a very young age. Are you from a musical or artistic family? My Dad I would say is the start of it all! Hes so naturally gifted. Hes always singing and self taught musician. He taught himself how to play drums, guitar, and piano. From the day I could Talk he would teach me how to sing and we would do karaoke together. As I got older my brothers got into music. One is still currently doing music in such an innovative way and i love it. You can find him @RoofsbyDon on Spotify and instagram! Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry? My dear friend from my early college years . We were actually co-workers but had such similar interests. Honestly i think everyone was so artistic in their own way it really inspired me to follow my dream and just go for it no matter what anyone thought. It was something that i feel like i loved and dreamed of secretly because im naturally shy How did you learn to sing/write/to play?

Really just through practice and from what i learned in school and with my dad. I feel like im still learning everyday. Theres always room For growth. What was the first concert that you ever went to and who did you see perform? My first concert ever was an Alicia Keys concert . I loved it, i had to be in like elementary school or something still lol but i remember my mom buying me my first trench with some boots. I really felt like a star that night 🤣 How could you describe your music? I feel like it sounds ethereal and airy but also a little off center. Its unique and I feel like its what makes me, me! It really just takes you into another world. [caption id="attachment_53265" align="alignnone" width="1290"] Its unique and I feel like its what makes me, me! It really just takes you into another world[/caption] Describe your creative process. Im a visual person when im creating so i go off the feeling whatever im making gives and i envision the colors and the story behind whatever it is im making. I can guarantee i already see a whole movie in my mind when im done. I like to make a demo production first that i write to and then i take it to the studio where the magic happens What musician do you admire most and why? I have more than one but I would have to say most recent is Rihanna before she went on her break 🤣 I went to her LOUD concert and was just in awe! I loved her energy on the stage it really felt like we were literally just partying together. She has a great way of showing emotion in her songs and also I feel like her personality shines through. Nothing about it ever feels inauthentic and I admire how shes able to incorporate the fashion, and her business endeavors in her career. Did your style evolve since the beginning of your career? I am still quite early in my career but I am absolutely sure it will evolve. I do embrace change, I tend to get bored quite easily so I enjoy switching things up Who do you see as your main competitor? To be quite honest, it is myself. I just want to continue to get better and hope that my art grows and gets better with time. What are your interests outside of music? Fashion Photography, fashion, and spending time with my kids and family being able to enjoy life to the fullest If it wasn't a music career, what would you be doing? What I’m doing now 🤣 I do have a day job and also a business @SABAAElite that i run with my spouse. i haven’t gotten to the point where im able to fund my life solely off music but i welcome the day it comes What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music? I guess for right now its just finding my tribe. But im sure that will come with time. If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be? I think on a mainstream level just more innovation. I feel like things kind of felt like a standstill for a while everyone following trends what is hot and somewhere along the way some people just lost the art of art 🤣 if you think of all the icons who came before us what made them so iconic was the ability for them to stand out and really just create a lane of their own. Why did you choose this as the title of this project? Flavors. Its a play on my name Lexi Lemonade! Its an analogy for the different sides of me. I am not a one dimensional person. I am a human with different sides to me and different interests. I think its just about embracing all parts of yourself and knowing its ok to not be the same all the time. As time changes we grow and change with it too. https://open.spotify.com/artist/57u4pJ8fyeE5MhQhiylDma?si=IQEAyq0JRnCBGUS-vaAegQ What are your plans for the coming months? I really will be focusing on completing my next project! Im excited to get the ball rolling and really just to build up my catalogue. Ive already written a couple pieces so im excited to hear it manifest in the studio Do you have any artistic collaboration plans I am open to collaboration! What message would you like to give to your fans?

Thank you so much for supporting me and accepting me for who i am :) its really tough decision to put myself out there but really with all the love it is so rewarding. I am excited to continue this journey with you!

[dzpenumbra]

7/11/23

Last night was horrible. I got 3 hours of sleep. I just fucking gave up and got up. I was so upset that I started writing a post for a mental health subreddit looking for some kind of advice on how to deal with this upstairs neighbor situation without being "the neighbor banging on the ceiling with a broom".

I didn't post it. I wrote like 10 paragraphs which, to anyone who has ever read this blog, knows that's pretty short for me... I deduced pretty clearly that if these people are waking me up through my box fan, my noise cancelling earbuds and white noise in the earbuds? There really aren't a lot of other options as far as sound reduction goes. That's just... where I'm at. So... the choices I have are...

Avoid the problem: relocate my sleeping spot - this is nearly impossible. My mom insisted I throw out my old mattress (which likely wouldn't fit in the rental car for the move) and she ordered me a Helix mattress which I lugged upstairs in its box. Okay, I mean... technically it would be possible for me to relocate the mattress, I'm not going to lie there... but it would be quite an undertaking and I would have to have my next steps well prepared. Then... what the fuck do I do with the loft space? ... Well... I could move my art studio up there... and I could just sleep in the main room. Use the main room as sorta... a studio apartment... and use the loft as my art workspace. The issue with this? My art space would be way the fuck away from my computer, so streaming art is out of the picture. Then I thought... well, what if I move my computer? My standing desk is way too heavy to bring upstairs. Like.. getting the mattress downstairs would be worlds easier than bringing the desk upstairs, and it would not be easy. Another option would be... basically abandoning the upstairs and just living downstairs. It just all feels a bit extreme.

Adapt: fix my sleep schedule - I don't really think I have a choice but to do this, honestly. Completely rearranging my entire house just because some people don't know how to like... take their shoes off... or walk softly before noon? It feels a bit extreme. But honestly... I feel so fucking stuck with this sleep thing.

So... let's talk about it. When I first moved here, I used to go out and smoke weed at like 4AM, then go right to bed. It would be dark out. I was a bit freaked out at first, but... I did it fine. I was watching those PTSD videos back then, ones on doing visualization of a safe place right before bed, and doing relaxation exercises. And it really did help. It's really the primary reason I made it through that transition as easily as I did.

So... what changed? Why am I scared to go to bed before dawn? Could it really be as simple as... Max died? And now I'm alone in the dark without a nocturnal partner to share the space with me? Could this just be a grief thing?

I guess we'll see. Honestly, I don't even know if it's going to be difficult. I don't even know if going to bed while it's still dark will be scary for me, honestly. It's been so long since I've even tried. There's just an invisible wall there. So... tonight will be a litmus test, we'll see what that wall really looks like.

I'm running on 4 hours of sleep. I stayed up until the maintenance guy came over, he was super friendly, the same dude that fixed my door (when the deadbolt wasn't latching) and did that inspection a few months ago. He was in and out really quick, just took a look at it, said he'd order the new part and try to get over here tomorrow to fix it. Fingers crossed. I'm going to make sure we test run it so he can see if it's wobbling and make sure he keeps that fucker tight as a drum so we don't have this problem again. I'd do it myself but I don't have a 15' ladder on hand and... to be frank... it's not my fucking job. :) Ahhh it's so relieving to finally be able to say that. HOLY SHIT. <heavy sigh of relief> Dude, when you are in isolation, living completely alone for extended periods of time... you start noticing pretty quick that if you want something done... you need to do it yourself. Not because you're the best person for the job, or because someone else might fuck it up, or you're the one who will do it well or you will do it the quickest... rather, if you don't do it... it doesn't get done. And that was fucking super eye-opening in the way I interacted with others... others who were omega-codependent. The ones who would constantly shame and guilt me for asking for help with super simple stuff. They all had people around to give them a helping hand, but they were too proud to ask for it. Pride. The most dangerous of sins, because it is the root of so many other ones, and it can also be connected to virtue in the right light... so it can often fly by undetected. But this... this manifestation is not a nice one. It's people who dedicate huge amounts of energy to hiding their problems, even from themselves, rather than admit that they need help. Those are the ones who I guaranteed would not get a finger lifted from, because - in their logic - "no one helps me..." Well... is it a coincidence that they never ask?

After years and years of being on this proverbial island, doing everything possible myself because I lack the income to hire others and I struggle with a big trauma/anxiety wall trying to make new friends, I'm finally in a position where I have assistance (reliable assistance) available to me. It feels very... secure. I feel cared about. Even though I'm just one of many many many people in this building, I still feel like... if something goes wrong, they will have my back. And that is a very new feeling outside of therapy, where it is contractually obligated. And here, I mean... it's contractually obligated too... but they're still nice people.

So yeah, the dude looked at the fan, he's going to come by either tomorrow or the day after. I did yoga, I ate, I drank a pot of coffee. Then I took an hour nap. I passed right out. And I woke up with this fucked up taste in my mouth. I still don't know what exactly caused it, but I had some really old Neon Sharpies I was drawing with on the string lights I was customizing today and that chemical smell matched the taste pretty close. Maybe I had some on my fingers and they made their way into my mouth in my sleep? I don't know. But yeah, I spend the rest of the evening doing designs on those lights, which is coming out pretty damn cool. And preparing the beads, which came out pretty damn cool. The green ones are definitely pale, but they came out more of a subdued lemon lime yellow-green, which is totally cool by me. They look great, I'm happy with them. I went back and forth on whether I wanted to put symbols on them individually, or decorate them further... but I still wasn't sure about medium, or what symbols... yeah... so I decided to hold off on that and just run this batch and do something more ornate on another batch. I just wanna keep things moving and let my inspiration inspire new pieces rather than alter current ones. I think it's a good plan.

So... I got the first layer of tung oil on the plain beads, the green ones, the blue ones, and two beads painted with Posca opaque paint pens that I was going to do test runs with acrylic sealer on. I want to see how they do with the oil. I'm very curious to see how that turns out. They should be fine, I'm just... I'd prefer to do a test run. And if that works well, that's a big win because that ink does not soak into the wood, so I can do very detailed ornamentation with those. Just using ink, even just archival ink like Micron pens, will soak into the wood and you risk what we used to call in tattooing "blowouts", where the ink just... blows out... it spreads and bleeds unintentionally. These paint pens won't do that, which is super nice.

So yeah, they're soaking up their first coat. I skipped the display table today because I didn't want to sand it. I can coat it any time, it's not a big deal. And I skipped exercise today because I'm running on two days worth of fumes. I didn't want to push myself too far. Next day is the last one on the workout plan, so that's a milestone. I'll search for a new workout and revisit the meal planner tomorrow.

But yeah, now it's 2:30 AM and I'm lined up to go start getting ready for bed. Fingers crossed things go well. This is gonna be like... sleeping somewhere new for the first time, with how long it's been. But I really need to remember... it's not new... it's a return to how things were. And the big sell? If I get to sleep now? There's a smaller time window where those people upstairs will be able to wake me up.

We'll see how things go.

[shodoweclipse]

Alien Contact./Reddit Post.

links p1: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/c1wxxu/i_work_at_nasa_we_made_alien_contact_yesterday/

p2: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/c8i2m5/i_work_at_nasa_we_made_alien_contact_last_week/

in case they ever get removed: the story reads:

I can't tell you who I am, and I can't tell you the name of the program, but what I can tell you is that if what they say is true, we're in trouble.

Now, we didn't make contact in the way you would think we would. We didn't beam out an episode of The Office towards Andromeda and hear back from alien critics. And we definitely didn't meet them face to face. We found another way to communicate. Something, apparently ancient humans had figured out as well.

There are countless dilapidated ancient structures around the world, and some of them, not all, but some, were communication arrays. At least a handful on each continent. I'm sure you'll be able to think of a few after I describe what we did.

We've been working on this technology for a while. There has been a long standing theory that sound has a much larger part in the universe than just being random vibrations. That the universe is simply a bunch of vibrations and sound, and if you find a way to manipulate those vibrations properly, you could do things that seem impossible. We proved that yesterday.

By creating an extremely, extremely, EXTREMELY, precise echo chamber, and playing certain frequencies into it, at precisely the right volumes, and the exact right timings, we broke some sort of barrier.

Nothing really happened, visually at least. We had run countless tests like these with tiny, minute differences, and this one seemed pretty mundane. There was a slight unnatural thrumming, the glass between us and the echo chamber shook in regular intervals as if we were playing a bass heavy song too loudly. The first thing that tipped us off that something was happening was that once we turned the speakers off, the thrumming didn't stop. My three coworkers and I could all feel this thrumming in out chests still, kind of like being next to a very loud drum. We talked for a moment, before we all fell silent.

There was something else now. It wasn't a voice. It was, some sort of, intellegent vibration. I can't explain it. It was like a voice was inside my chest, but it wasn't speaking, I could just feel what it was saying. My cohorts and I debated on the exact wording afterwards, but we all agreed on the overall messages each time.

Like I said, they weren't really talking, so I'll do my best to phrase it in ways that get across what they said, in the way they "said" it.

"Wooooaaaahhh, you guys are back?" Is what I felt in my chest. My colleagues and I stared at each other in utter confusion. One of the spoke up. "Hello?" He asked hesitantly. There was a silence for a moment, before the thrumming spoke back. "I think I have it set right now, say that again?"

"Hello?" I repeated back to it in place of the other scientist.

"Yep, there it is." He said quickly. "You guys figured it out again! That's crazy!" It exclaimed. This wasn't what I was thinking the first human/alien conversation was going to go. I wasn't even sure that this was first contact at this point though. "Who is this? What is this?" I asked loudly into the open air of our control room.

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed to give you details like who we are, but, what this is, is the ultimate form of communication in our universe. Your ancestors figured it out briefly too." With some quick deduction on how it was wording things, I think each of us figured out what we were talking to was alien in origin around the same time.

"Where are you from?" I asked. "You have to be close." Hell, with the way we were talking back and forth, they had to be REALLY close. It takes communications to Mars a few minutes to get there, just because that's as fast as light is. If we were talking this quickly back and forth they basically had to be on Earth.

"I guess you wouldn't know. We didn't tell your ancestors. We didn't think they'd get it. Let me do some math real quick." It was about a minute before it spoke again. "What you see as your observable universe, thats not the whole universe. Not even close. Multiply that by about 15, and thats about how far we are away. And theres a lot past that."

We all looked at each other. It was speaking utter bullshit to us now. That was impossible, we'd never be able to communicate, ever. Physically impossible. We explained that to the chest-voice, and we were met by an equal level of confusion. "Why are you still using light as a yardstick?" It asked incredulously. Suddenly, its voice grew slightly dire. "You're still not advanced enough. You don't even know."

"Know what?" One of my friends asked.

"You are dead center in the Life Abyss. There is no life on any planet around you, for more than ten of your observable universes around you in any direction. Its a universal mystery how you're even alive." It spoke grimly. Never in my life had I felt smaller, more insignificant and more alone. It continued.

"And there is a reason for that."

(end of p1)

(p2)

An earnest and tangible feeling of dread took over the control room. "There is a reason for that." It reverberated through my entire body as the vibration spoke. But then, silence. No one in the control room spoke a word. We barely even looked at each other. The silence continued for over a minute that felt like a day. "What's the reason?" Dave, the senior scientist on hand finally spoke. He had chosen a serious and sombre tone, in an endless list of choices on how to react.

"If you value your lives. If you value the lives of every living thing on your planet, never use this form of communication ever again." It shook into our chests. That one felt less welcoming. It felt like a dire warning. And just like that, we felt the tingling, shaking force leave our chests. It just simply faded away, like how a when a chord of a guitar is plucked. We looked now to one another. What was the play? Forge on bravely into the void, in the name of science and play the frequencies again? Or take an alien warning and stop?

We didn't get to make that decision. Our program is monitored closely by the US military. A voice came I didn't recognize on over the intercom. "Don't touch anything folks, we're gonna come in and take a look at a few things." Dave took charge, we were all clearly panicked at what we had experienced, but he seemed to have the most level head. "All we can do is tell the truth." He reasoned, just as the door to the control room was opened.

The next hour or so was a blur. I was first questioned by my boss as to what he just watched over his monitor. What he saw was a handful of his employees standing in a circle and periodically yelling nonsense at no on in particular. I took Dave's advice to heart, and told him as clearly as I could what happened. I think I was the first he talked to, he wasn't buying anything I said. Slowly I was joined by the rest of the team, one by one, and they recounted pretty much exactly what I had said. So now what they knew, was that we had all started a test, then stood around in a circle, and then all came up with the same story. It started to get more believable.

We were each rushed to individual physical exams, and then into a more in depth interview with someone from the military. The exams seemed to go well, I never heard back from them. The interview seemed to be going good as well, I had basically recounted what I said to my boss word for word, just this time on tape and in front of some guy in an army uniform. Just when things seemed to be wrapping up, the door to our small interviewing office opened behind me. "Sir, we need you down the hall immediately." A woman in army fatigues spoke quickly, before rushing back down the hallway. I looked back to the man interviewing me, but he was already half way out the door before I could say anything.

I was sitting there for a few minutes. I had time to think. Was I crazy if I believed whatever the thing in my chest was telling me? Everything it said sounded impossible. But nothing of it felt like a like. Even though I could only feel what it was saying, I could feel it's excitement when we first made contact. I could feel the desperation in it as it told us to never contact it again. What was important though, nothing felt like a lie.

I noticed the my interviewer had been taking notes as we spoke. Now that I had been left alone for a few minutes, I thought, what was the harm in taking a peak. I slowly reached over the table and flipped his papers over. They read:

Unknown frequency report: Subject - (My Name) -Significant physical changes to the subject since his last physical six months ago according to the base physician after exposure to the frequencies in this report. No cosmetic changes, or complaints of pain or unease -Describes vibrations in chest. -Describes hearing voices after being exposed to the frequencies. No history of mental illness. -Frequencies that cause mental illness?-Breaks with reality? -Hallucinations?

That's as far as he got before he was interrupted. I slid the papers back across the table and sat back in my chair. All of us had described the same thing, but they were thinking we were all just crazy? It warned us, and the more I thought about it, I wanted to take that warning to heart. I sat up starkly. She said down the hall. The control room was down the hall. With how they rushed us out of there, we didn't even have a chance to turn the machinery off. We didn't even turn a single dial in our stunned states. All they had to do was press a button, and the vibrations would play again. Shit.

I exploded out of my seat, through the door and down the hall. I ripped the door the control room open, to all of the military officers, and a few more scientists standing there in disbelief. I hadn't even heard the vibrations again. But I could hear the voice on the other side, and now, so could they.

"I JUST told you to never use this again!" It thundered in my chest. A few of the older men in the room grabbed at their chests in pain. "One second, I need to check something." It spoke again angrily. "You could've gotten away with just it using it the once. Twice was too much." His sentence ended in a twinge of fear.

"He heard you. He's listening right now. And he's coming."

(end of p2)

I included links because if anyone else takes interest in this you have the same sources i did. i do not know the OP nore was i aware of this story three years ago. i did NOT write this and i claim NO credit for it at all. im simply collecting it so i can return to it when i wish to re-inspect it.

supposedly more coming not sure if more was ever added tho. still looking

[pyroclastic727]

Notes from the crossover panel

Watch it here

Matt looks forward to the role reversal where Anne takes care of the Plantars

Anne’s parents will be fully-fledged characters and core cast members

Amphibia and Earth time travel at the same rate

Clip from Amphibia Season Three

“Marcy’s alive. She’s just gotta be. And with her and Sasha still stuck over there, one thing’s for sure: we gotta find a way back.” -Anne

Anne hides the frogs in the trash

“Oh, and I’m not gonna tell them that I plan to go back and stop Andrias. Or that Andrias betrayed us. Or that Marcy did. Or that Sasha did. And not a WORD about my weird glowing blue powers!” - Anne

Sprig doesn’t know what the blue powers are

Polly says that they’ll fix Frobo up in no time, and then meets a furby

Anne’s dad passed out when he saw Sprig

Anne’s parents have Thai accents!

Anne’s dad doesn’t like her hanging out with Sasha--a scene that was supposed to be in Reunion before being cut for time

Crossover Table Read

Dana and Matt have been anticipating a crossover table read for a while

“If you wanted me to help, you should have mentioned something two apple bloods ago” - Eda, to Luz

Hooty was a kitten, apparently

“I can’t believe it- another Anne? And better dressed!”

Anne called Luz her “bestie”

Sprig thinks that Maddie Flour would love to meet Luz

Eda likes Polly’s “chaotic energy”

“kid friendly hellscape on top of a giant carcass” Bonesborough is officially a carcass

Anne wants a sleepover with Luz

EDA AND HOP POP ARE FLIRTING I HATE IT HERE

Anne and Luz have a dramatic sleepover breakup and the voice actors strongly imply that we should make sleepover AUs

Anne, to Luz: “Never give up! You can do it! We’re both gonna get home, I just know it.”

Luz: “You’ve got that right. Take care, Anne! I love your hair.” gayass

Eda stole Hop Pop’s wallet

Amity, rehearsing talking to Luz: “Hey, Luz? Remember that kiss thing? Well I don’t! We can just go back to normal! Hey, do you wanna help me study, for, uh...Titan, I forgot what kind of magic I use!”

Q and A

The hardest part of this for Brenda Song was to visualize the world and “enter” it

Marcy’s death and Anne’s relocation shocked Brenda Song, as did the character development

Justin Felbringer sees himself in Sprig’s adventurous nature, how he jumps into things and quickly makes friendships

Justin Felbringer loves Sprivy and finds them adorable. His favorite thing is their similarity in interests and passions

Bill Farmer related Hop Pop to onion layers and enjoys adding to Hop Pop’s character

Bill Farmer thinks that Hop Pop was right to bury the box, but not to keep it a secret. (It’s notable that Anne intends to keep her Amphibian life a secret)

Amanda Leighton is proud that Polly has legs, and that her adventures have given her metaphorical legs and growth

Sarah Nicole Robles was surprised by how emotional Owl House got to go with Luz; the character is mostly an open book and doesn’t keep secrets

The most challenging acting, for Sarah Nicole Robles, was Luz in the season 1 finale, due to the action scenes. She does not want to show the efforts (action grunt noises) on camera

Brenda Song says that her efforts are elegant, while Sarah Nicole Robles says hers are...spit-covered

Matt Braly can do the cartoon head shake sound. He is very good at it.

Brenda and Sarah struggle with drinking and eating sounds sometimes

Brenda Song recorded in her closet during covid, so a lot of the sounds had hanger effects

Wendie Malick finds it relatable that Eda “dances to her own drum.” She likes seeing Eda’s hodgepodge family as an example that there’s a place for everyone. It’s a reminder for everyone: figure out what makes you uniquely you, and spend time with people who celebrate and empower that

Eda is a sassy badass, yes Wendie said that, yes they blooped it out

[quixotic-writer]

Before the Truth

Request: Anon

(prequel to Truth or Truth?)

Summary: Q gets tangled up with the reader (Sal’s sister) and they have a thing going on in secret because she knows exactly how Sal will feel. But when Q’s birthday rolls around and the boys try to surprise him, they’re met with her standing at the door with nothing but Q’s t-shirt on. The truth finally is revealed

—————————————————————————

We were drenched in sweat and soaking in the afterglow of another steamy session between his sheets. We were heavily breathing as we lay under the covers, staring at the ceiling and physically recovering. It was mostly me recovering considering how rough he was this time around, but it was his birthday and what better present to give the horniest motherfucker I knew than some birthday sex?

We weren’t officially together or anything. We’ve been on, what felt like, ‘dates,’ but what we had was more of a ‘friends with benefits’ deal. He had asked me out many times, but Sal had warned me forever ago that I was never to get tangled up with Q. I tried to stay away, but how could I resist? His accent, his cocky but sweet smile, he was really funny, and overall just so charming. I don’t remember how it all started, but I do remember making the first moves on him. Kissing him felt like heaven, and the power those lips had let me know that he knew what he was doing. In secret, we knew we were exclusive but we never said anything because of my brother. Sal would definitely kill Bri thinking he was the one to initiate it all.

Why did he have to be like this?

“Fuck, that was perfect. Happy Birthday to me indeed, huh?” He said as his fingers traced delicately across my naked skin. He smiled and I cuddled in closer to him.

“Anything for you B, you know I'm the only one that does it how you like it.”

“You aren’t wrong about that baby.” He captured my lips with his and I could almost sense round two beginning to commence.

Until the doorbell rang. We both huffed.

“Ugh, I'll get it.” I said draping the sheets off of my nude body and picking up whatever clothing items I could reach first. Those items: Brian’s t-shirt and my underwear. His t-shirt was big enough to cover my lower half so I didn’t bother looking for pants. Besides, I didn't want to keep whoever was at the door waiting. If anything it was probably a package from one of his buddies to wish him a happy birthday.

My bare feet drum against the floor as I crept my way to the door. I run my hands through my hair so I look somewhat put together visually just in case just before I swung the door open.

That was when I could feel my heart drop and my soul leave my body.

Standing in the doorway were 3 of his best friends, one of which was my brother.

“Sal? What the fuck are you doing here?” My eyes went wide. Murr’s eyebrows went up and hand quickly cupped over his mouth, Joe’s icy blue eyes went wide and quickly shifted to look at Sal, and there was my brother with balloons in his hand and an absolute look of disgust on his face.

“Uh, I don’t know, maybe I'm here to celebrate my best friend’s birthday? But I could say the same to you! What the fuck are you doing here and what are you doing wearing Q’s shirt? Are you even wearing any pants?!” My lips part to fumble out some kind of answer but my brain flat lines as I try to imagine some kind of excuse as to why I look the way that I do at Brian’s house. “You know what, don’t even answer. Where the fuck is he?” Sal storms right past me and drops everything on the kitchen counter as he mumbles to himself as he starts to boil over. Of all the times Brian could have a display of impeccable timing, he chooses now as he emerges from the bedroom with no shirt on.

“Hey (y/n) who was at the doo–” He stops dead in his tracks as he sees me still standing in the frame of the front door pale as a ghost with his two friends standing beside me. He could feel the glare and slowly looked over to see his other best friend standing beside the counter with hands on his hips and a look that seemed like he was out for blood. “Uuh… Hey! Guys!” His arms outstretched with a nervous smile on his face. We were in for it now.

“Oh cut the shit Brian. Would you care to explain why my sister is in your house wearing your t-shirt and why you’re shirtless?” The two other men shuffled in, quietly said ‘hello’ to me and Bri, placed things down on the counter, and shuffled back out. I closed the door and was met with a standoff between two men I held dear in my life.

“It’s uuh… Laundry day?” Great and believable answer, B. Yup. We’re screwed.

“Bullshit. You wouldn’t do that on your birthday, I know you. Now would you care to explain why you’re FUCKING my SISTER?” His voice echoed in the house and Bri looked ashamed, scared, and guilty. Sal was quick to snuff out the bullshit, not surprising considering there was no way to weasel a probable explanation aside from us being together in a way that I know Sal would rather not think about. “How long?”

“… A few months.” he mumbles quietly.

“Months?!” fucking hell. I was so awestruck at the moment, I bet I just looked like a deer in the headlights. I was processing everything and trying to organize my thoughts and what I was even feeling because it got so jumbled so quickly.

Sal continued on with his lecture, not even leaving any air for Bri to come up with any answers. Even when he got one word in, Sal would start talking over him. Over and over the only point that seemed to stick out was ‘that’s my sister.’ Bri looked like a kicked puppy and he also had frustration mixed in because he wasn’t allowed a chance at all to defend himself, and in turn it made me start to bubble with anger. He was blowing this all wildly out of the water. That’s when I decided it was enough and I came back down to earth.

“Why are you getting mad at him?” I asked, stepping into the thunder dome. His eyes pierced right through me and it seemed to only make him more mad.

“Why am I getting mad at him? Well, (y/n), because I told him never to lay a hand on you and here he is blatantly defying the one thing I asked him to do! It was something very easy and very simple.” I started feeding off of his energy and was quick to give it back.

“Well Sal, I'm not some little girl that needs protecting!”

“From him, yes you do.” He points to Bri without ever tearing his eyes away from me. “I have known him for years. I love him, he’s my best friend, but I know how he treats women. Because of that, that’s why I make it my business to protect you!”

“I’ve heard enough from you. I want you to stop and listen to me. Do not speak for me.” He quickly shut his mouth, but I sharpened my tone so he knew I wasn’t going to take much more. “First: Are you a woman, Sal?” I ask him, trying my best to keep my cool.

“No?”

“Have you ever dated Brian?” His eyebrow raises in confusion as I continue with my questions.

“No.”

“Then you have no say on the matter on how Brian treats women. You especially don’t have a say in how he treats me.” I walk over to stand by Bri, interlocking my hand with his and smiling up at him. His eyes shone like the stars, sweet, loving, and gentle. I wasn’t about to watch him get torn to shreds when this arrangement was conducted by both of us equally. We equally pined for each other, but we hid it all away just to please one person rather than seeking out our own happiness. “I think he’s charming. He’s loving, he’s sweet, he’s funny. He makes me happy.” Sal stood down almost. I hoped that seeing how happy I was would change his mind. “Would you really stop me from being happy, Sal?” He let out a sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. That was the one question I knew would get to him. As the only boy out of the siblings, he always made it his duty to protect the girls. He has a soft spot for us, and of course I was going to use that card especially now knowing he would fold.

“No, I wouldn’t.” Seems that he had finally begun to simmer down and I had guilted him into realizing that he was making too much of a big deal out of this whole situation. “Listen, Q, I'm sorry man. It’s your birthday, I shouldn’t be acting like this.”

“I’ll treat her well, and I have been… I think?” He looks at me with concern, hoping he wouldn’t get ripped again. I smiled and I nodded, giving him the reassurance he needed. “Especially because she’s your sister, I wouldn’t ever dream of hurting her.” Sal had his eyes closed and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but I knew he wasn’t going to argue on the matter anymore.

“It’s… It’s whatever. You’re adults I guess so do whatever.” That response was enough for me to know that he didn’t exactly approve of this whole arrangement, but it was enough for him to shut up, and that was all that really mattered to me. He walked past us to go and grab Joe and Murr from wherever they were outside, but he stopped in his tracks to look Bri in his eyes as he puffed himself up and took a threatening stance. “But – I swear to god Q – I ever find her crying and it’s because of you, you will not see another day on this planet.”

“Anything for my best friend.” He sheepishly smiled and Sal went outside. I sighed and rubbed the temples of my head.

“What a fucking mess. I’m sorry that he’s your best friend. I ruined your birthday. He ruined it.”

“No. No. No one ruined anything. He was just being a brother and I know how he is about you and your other sisters. This isn’t a surprise to me or anything new. I’m just grateful that you managed to defuse that as fast as you did. I wouldn’t dream of fighting him but I was scared he was gonna swing!” He rubbed the back of his neck as he pondered the possibilities of how this altercation could have gone had I not decided to open my mouth.

The door opened back up and all three men entered in, birthday wishes being shared and smiles bright. Sal was still a bit heated, I could tell, but I knew he’d get over it eventually. I greeted each of them properly this time with a big smile.

“So what’s the deal here, hot shot?” Joe had asked Bri.

“Guess Sal got a bit mad that his sister’s my girlfriend.” My head whipped to him so fast, and he could tell by the beaming smile on my face and the sparkle in my eye that I had no problem with that title.

“A bit mad? That’s an understatement.” Murr had said and the trio laughed as Sal grimaced a bit and rolled his eyes.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me boys, I gotta uuuh… properly dress myself.”

“Me too!” I said as we both made our way to Bri’s bedroom to retrieve our clothing and properly dress ourselves. The boys talked amongst each other as Bri and I hid ourselves away in his room to change. “So I'm your girlfriend now?”

“I’ve wanted to call you that for longer than you might think. All mine, pretty girl.” He said as he brought me in close and showered me with kisses and grabbed his shirt from me in the process. I couldn’t help but laugh and smile.

“Has a great ring to it. Sal will just have to suck it up and get used to it.” He all but laughed. “Now let’s get out there and have fun with your friends, shall we?”

“That we shall!”

[secondhand-trash]

Put a Ring on It

A/N: I started it with the intention of writing a thirst post but it ended up being 1.7k of pure fluff lmao

Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader

Description: Miya Atsumu had a thing for wearing rings.

Word count: 1772

-

Miya Atsumu had a thing for wearing rings.

Maybe it was how he thought that they made his hands looked bigger, or how the accents never failed to draw even more attention to his slender fingers. Likely, it was just the way how most teenage boys went through a phase of wanting to look stylish and edgy without really bothering to look into having an actual style of their own, resulting in him halting a baggy t-shirt, cargo pants and an unnecessary amount of rings as the peak of men’s fashion. You had your own thoughts on how he was so determined to slip a ring or two into whatever he was wearing whenever he was out of his uniform. You made fun of his sense of fashion none stop, pointing to his bleached hair that has faded from the gold it was supposed to be into a sharp yellow and cheap chunky jewelry as the main culprit.

“You look like a delinquent who smokes cheap cigarettes in parks after school.”

You sniggered when he let out an offended ‘huh’. His chunky silver rings that had obnoxiously prominent carvings on the side brushed dug into the gap between your fingers as he squeezed your hand tighter when he snapped towards your direction. Your free hand, the one that wasn’t in a lock hold by his ring clad one, reached out to brush away his side-swooped bangs. His hair was fried from the boxed bleach he used regularly but as a side perk, the dryness did add to the volume of his hair.

He stood there still as you carefully pushed his hair back, his upper body leaning towards your direction just a little so you didn’t have to struggle to reach him despite his initial protests. You were messing with his hair and he was looking at you, only at you, with his fingers still linked with yours even though you always complained about his rings making it hard for you to hold his hand.

You finally pulled back and your gaze dropped from his bangs to his eyes. Your heart skipped a beat when you met his eyes and they were full of you.

You cursed your weak heart for its sudden moment of swooning when he stood back up straight and his ring scratched against the inside of your finger.

You sighed, “You are so lucky you have a nice face so that people will be too caught up to notice how you dressed.”

Atsumu pretended he couldn’t hear the second half of the sentence and decided to focus on how you said he had a nice face instead.

But then you graduated from high school and he slowly started dressing less like a disastrous teenage boy and more like a proper adult. That athlete money did him well and he was finally able to dress the way he wanted to dress without having to turn into a questionable direction because of monetary limits. The baggy pants were gone from his closet, replaced with pants that actually fit his body and elevate things instead of holding back the visual upper hand he was supposed to have because of his physiques. He finally stopped bleaching his own hair after your many years of nagging but you nearly lost your composure when he showed up in front of your door to pick you up with his new hair for the first time.

“I got the stylist to trim my bangs for me,” he said as he ran his hand through the curl sitting at the side of his forehead and you gulped when you realised that his hair was soft enough for fingers to go through them with ease now, “I’m still trying to get used to not having things over my eye.”

“Oh?” you replied, your voice breathy as you tried to calm down your sea of thoughts at the sight of your boyfriend’s new look. 

You were aware that he was good looking, but everything that he was not born with used to be questionable so it balanced things out. Now he was wearing tight-fitted jeans that made his legs look even more toned as if it was even possible, with a white t-shirt that was tugged in loosely. He had a blazer on too, probably because you made him take you somewhere nice in celebration of his first VLeague cheque, but at this point you were almost certain he had that thing on just to drive you insane. 

And his hair, his god damn windswept fluffy no longer bright yellow hair.

“Do you think I should grow it longer?” he asked as he rubbed the tip of his bangs between the pads of his finger. The silver that sat at the bottom of his digits contrasted starkly with the pale gold and it finally dawned upon you that he stopped wearing the cheap rings you used to make fun of him for a while ago. 

Oh dear, now he was actually hot.

“No,” you blurted out, “it looks nicer this way.”

"You think so?” he asked as you forced your legs to move past your door before shutting it behind your back firmly. You had to force yourself to go out before the urge to make him come in could win, or else you would most certainly end up doing things that would make you miss your reservation.

And you had been excited to leech off of his athlete money.

“Yes, yes I do think so,” you said as you grabbed his hand to pull him along with you. 

You groaned in satisfaction when you realised his new rings did not stop you from sliding your fingers between his like the old ones did.

You started having fewer objections towards his choice of accessaries after his general fashion sense shifted for the better. You even started liking the rings after a while, crediting it to him opting for designs with more simplicity. You liked the way the metal was already warm from his heat when he put his hand on your thigh out of nowhere because he was bored, or when he was at the driver’s seat and the pad of his finger drummed against your skin steadily as he waited for the lights to change. The warmth of his hand always brought you security and he was well aware that nothing called your attention to him like it did. You were not even sure if he was aware, but he had a habit of toying with his rings whenever you were neglecting him because you had your attention on something else. The band he was playing with always ended up off his finger and up yours when you were least expecting it, the feeling of his calloused finger holding your hand as he slid it down always managed to call your gaze back to him.

‘What a child,’ you chuckled to yourself when he looked at you innocently like he could not be having any hidden thoughts, his hand still holding onto yours as he held the ring that was too large for your finger from falling down.

So being the child he was, who always couldn’t fathom the thought of letting you leave his side and was equally eager to let the world know he wasn’t leaving yours, it did not surprise you at all when you were tidying up your drawers one day to find a velvet box tugged all the way back into his sock drawer.

You had a feeling it was exactly what you thought it was, and you laughed at the image of him trying to find somewhere to hide it in the house while you were not around.

Of course, leave it up to Miya Atsumu to hide a ring at the back of his sock drawer because he thought it was the one place you wouldn’t look into unless you were left with no choice.

You giggled to yourself and closed the drawer, letting the box stayed right where it was.

You weren’t looking. You wanted to, but you weren’t. Because you knew he would whine to no end if you didn’t look as surprised as he wanted you to be when he finally showed it to you for real.

He still had no clue that you already knew it was coming when he got down on one knee and took the box out of his pocket with shaky hands. He cried when you said yes and you cried when he started crying, even though you had already rehearsed in your head for a million times on how you would say yes ever since you saw the velvet box inside of his sock drawer. 

He was still sobbing when he realised he needed to get up from the ground, wiping his tears away on the sleeve of his very expensive blazer before clumsily taking the ring out of the box to put it on your finger. Miya Atsumu was an ugly crier through and through and you finally admitted to yourself that you were a whipped fool when you still wanted to kiss his stupid face even though his eyes were swollen and he missed your finger a few times before finally getting the ring in.

“Now we match,” he said with a hiccup, laughing but sounding like he was about to break down into another round of tears as soon as the chuckle left his mouth, “you can’t make fun of my rings anymore.”

He was so dumb, and you felt like crying again when he took out an identical ring from his pocket and put it on his own hand. Who the hell does that? You wanted to laugh at him but you couldn’t, because you knew you would start sobbing again if you do that.

“You’re an idiot,” you said, grabbing his hand to steady him because he was shaking and you were sure he might just drop the ring if he kept fidgeting.

He sniffled, grinning ear to ear through his tears when he saw the ring that sat on your finger.

“So?” he said, happily holding your hand in his to look at how perfectly it fits, the rings and your hands, “You can’t get rid of me now, I got the ring to prove it.”

You huffed, but couldn’t stop yourself from smiling when he rubbed his fingers along his engagement ring like he was making sure that it was still there.

You decided that it would be your favourite ring of his until you get to put the wedding band onto his finger yourself.

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 1

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: angst, mention of violence Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you're given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can't relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier. A/N: I had this idea one day and initially it was just gonna be a one shot but then i said screw it. i’ve never really done a full chapter story/series so...? Here I go? I’ve written most in advanced so I know I actually have some sense of where this is going and tbh i think it’s gonna be interesting but i love soulmate!au anyways :)

masterlist | taglist | read on ao3

The nightmares always felt the same. 

In your mind, clear glimpses revealed him - the brooding, long-haired man. He typically wore a mask and that same unforgiving yet disconnected look in his eyes. A metal arm would glimmer every now and then and you’d quickly find him wielding guns or twirling knives. The most uncomfortable acts were those of when he’d use just his hands. 

You didn’t really know the people he was affecting. Some looked important, some seemed like casualties to whatever bigger fight was being played at, but they all came in quick glimpses. Part of you felt that he didn’t care enough to remember them. He had no connection, just a goal. There was always more of a focus on what he was doing and making sure it was done. You could tell that was what he was feeling, what he was seeing, and frankly, it was of the disturbing kind. 

You had grown up hearing friends and family gush about all the wonderful, fascinating soulmate dreams -- because that was what they were supposed to be: dreams. Lovely, lullaby dreams showing one the life their soulmate was living. Giving the other a glimpse at their feelings, their adventures. Hopefully making you want your person.

Your parents loved reminiscing about how they saw each other playing with friends as kids or volunteering at shelters in college. Your friends had been equally fascinated, constantly gossiping about what books their soulmates had read or how their eyes would light up when they played with their dogs.

But you weren’t getting that. Instead of seeing your soulmate read their favorite book, you watched him take down what felt like an army of people. You saw him marching on command as if just a machine.

Part of you thought you were broken. Why were you only getting to see the bad things? Was there nothing good about your person? Had they lived for nothing other than these missions?

It was a weird combination, what you felt towards him. To say you weren’t at least intrigued would be a lie because, at the end of the day, this man was your soulmate. No matter how unnerving or confusing it was, you two were paired. While you didn’t know if he actually knew it, you felt it. You felt the pull in every knife flip. In every stab. In every mission. In every accomplishment.

Even time he was forced to go dormant -- because, yes, you could see the ice. You could see the shocks. 

Your soulmate dreams were nightmares. And they ached and pulled at you. 

***

You were already awake when sunlight began seeping into your room. This wasn’t a new occurrence -- the sun and you seemed to like to play a game to see who would rise first... You, it was always you lately.

The dreams were distorted memories last night. You didn’t see it all like it was interrupted, but you could tell it appeared to be a past memory. There was just something about the intensity visually this time that was weaker. It was less fresh than previous ones but still held feelings, strength. It was a confusing phenomenon, an old thought transmitting between the soulmate lines, but wasn’t unusual for you by any means.

Sometimes you received memories from your soulmate that dated back to the 70s, sometimes 60s. Things he had seen that weren't even from your decade which raised so many more alarms. It prevented you from getting any sort of age range. Sometimes people received memories their soulmates had learned of, like hearing a story of a wedding and depicting it, but they never lasted. Usually they were one-off casualties but these you had persisted. They had to be from him.

While confusing beyond all means, something you never could think about discussing with others, it gave you a little hope that maybe, just maybe, things had…stopped. Whatever rampage or mission your soulmate was on (had been put on?) was finished. Especially being a memory that came from just a few years ago. For once, maybe there weren't new nightmares for your soulmate to produce. 

But you couldn’t get your hopes up. They could be right back at it tonight so you couldn’t allow yourself to ponder it no matter how much it all bugged you. You force yourself to get up and on with the day. Rising as you had watched the sun do so. 

You pulled yourself out of bed choosing to ignore the sleep-deprived headache threatening to creep up. Shuffling around your bedroom, you collected your work uniform wherever you had really tossed it throughout the space. 

Once dressed for the day, you moved on to making yourself presentable to actually get on with work. While you only just worked in a coffee shop -- not exactly the epitome of luxury -- tips were key and people liked their barista to actually look alive.

You finally got out of the door just moments later, homemade bagel sandwich in tow, all complemented by the fakest, brightest smile you could muster as you made your way down the city sidewalk. 

You quite enjoyed the work commute, being able to weave in and out of the people, your mind instinctively wondering if he was here. Was he milling around? Hiding in the shadows? Planning something here or there? What to do next? 

You figured most likely not, but you still looked even if the idea of him was enough to make you shake in your boots. Besides, you didn’t even totally know what you were looking for. The eyes and hair only revealed so much. The glimmer of his hand, though, that sure was unique. You could still see it in flashes throughout your mind. 

So, you harmlessly let your eyes wander on the street. Checking over the faces, the posture, the appearances of them all but none of them could tug on that part of your heart. Granted, it was sort of ridiculous. Your soulmate had been proven to maybe not be the kindest person in the universe but something had to happen if the two of you were paired. And you were just the right amount of daring to see it through.

You finally made it to the coffee shop after your leisure browsing of the city people all bustling, brain set on getting one place or another. They were just exhausting to even look at.

The bell above the door jingled as you entered. The shop was mere minutes from opening and your coworker was already setting up, nearly ready to bring in the morning rush. She greeted you with a weak, tired smile. You responded with one of your own. Seamlessly, you two fell into it all, moving in silence. Prepping, brewing, cleaning.

Work was going much smoother than normal for the day. You seemed to fall into your tasks with ease as you served the morning crowd. You had your normals’ orders memorized and the new customers wooed at your speediness. Tips were coming in nicely as well, you noted. You and your coworker worked together, as if in a tango behind the counter. 

The day seemed that it would continue on just as smoothly as the morning had. Things started to taper off nicely around the afternoon. The shop was mostly filled with college students in between their lectures. They nursed their coffees as they typed away so determined with their homework. 

You and your coworker took the brief moment to lull around. She was aimlessly sweeping by the sugars while you cleaned the same spot over and over again on the counter as you watched the television in the corner. 

The owner had put in the TV a while ago citing it drummed up service but you never actually found proof of that. Instead, it sat high up on the wall, above the windows, muted at all hours. He at least allowed the closed captioning to be on which was what you were reading as you pretended to clean. 

Some midday news program was on. A graphic flashed signaling that they were going into one of their “investigative reports.” You stopped your movements with the rag as you watched the news graphic transition to a portrait picture of a man from the waist up. He...

Something made your stomach drop. Your heart twisted in familiarity while your brain sounded the alarm. Those eyes. That arm. You could feel all of it practically radiating from the television. Letting go of the towel, you let out a gasp at the true shock when it suddenly clicked in your head. 

Everything slowed down around you. Customers began staring, concerned. Your coworker was calling your name, asking what was wrong. But you couldn’t do anything. Your eyes were glued to the television. Something crushed in you as it began adding up. 

Eyes. Arm. Feelings. Emotions. Eyes. Arm. Feelings. Missions. Scene after scene, you went over everything that had been stored -- forced -- unconventionally in your head.

You read the name on the closed captioning followed by his title. Who he was, what he was. 

It fell into place. All of it. It was him, yes. The dreams -- no, no. The nightmares. Your word repeated it over and over again. Him. All him. James Buchanan Barnes. The Winter Soldier.