#there were several times I’d have to just go home and sleep through the pain and the day was wasted bc it was too much

[harmonizewithechoes]

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[yuri-is-online]

I’d like to hear a little about Idia’s Yutu. I bet he was pretty startled to see his hair suddenly catch fire + any other physical changes associated with the curse. (Do you think the yellow eyes and shark teeth are even caused by the curse?)

Idia is a popular boy and I have a lot of thoughts about him in general; I feel like I gave him a lot to deal with in this particular au... Jade is probably having a worse time mentally but Idia has a bunch of work I know he wasn't asking for.

As for the talk about the curse, I kicked it around in my head a bit and I am going to say yes the teeth are caused by it but the eyes are just something Idia got from his parents. I know I talk about thinking there is something wrong with Trey, but I don't think that's because of a curse and his eyes are definitely yellow. Idia's do seem to glow a bit so if you want your Yutu to have different colored eyes I think it would make sense if they had a bit of a glow to them, but that's just me.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. For this post, I would recommend reading this explanation of what happened to the boys as Idia has a pretty big role in the bad timeline, and his actions will be somewhat referenced here.

Idia has the benefit and the literal curse of being in charge of S.T.Y.X., meaning that when blot investigations are conducted he tends to be in the know. His Yuu and Yutu should have been safe from anything the Marshall's decided to do but they weren't. Unlike pretty much everyone else in this AU, Idia learns what happened to his family. He knows that Yuu was cursed, he knows they were sent back to their world. But that's about it, he tries to find some sort of way to make contact with your world so he can bring you home but then things go to shit and his progress is severely delayed. By the time he has to help bury Leona it's stopped completely. Ortho tries his best to help, but Idia doesn't really want him to. As much as he wants to see you again, he doesn't want you to have to suffer through any overblots again, nor does he want to raise a child in a dying world.

Sometimes when he is alone, energy drinks scattered around his desk he'll look over to the little digital photo frame he loaded up with pictures of you, from back at NRC all the way up to your wedding and wonders if he should just let you go. There's a chance you being forced to forget about him means you would have moved on, maybe met someone else and had other kids. Was his kid anything like him? He hopes they ended up looking mostly like you, and knowing there is no way for the Shroud curse to reach them does make it slightly easier to sleep at night. He tells himself when he comes back to work tomorrow, he'll put the frame in a drawer along with his wedding ring but he never does. In his mind, he is still your husband, just waiting for fall to come so you can try to be together again. Fall might be another life, but Idia surprisingly doesn't mind. He can wait for you.

Idia! Yutu was a massive crybaby when he was a baby. Very clingy to Yuu and very afraid of his own shadow let alone his teachers and peers. He grows out of the crying as he gets older but not the social anxiety. Yutu wants friends, he just sucks at making them and is extremely stressed out by being around people. I could see Yuu maybe getting an animal of some sort to help with the stress and anxiety their son was feeling. And just by typing that I have become attached to the concept: Ida! Yutu gets a dog Yuu feels inclined to name Cerberus. Yutu adores her and takes very good care of her without any fights about his chores.

Yuu remembers Idia as being more of a cat person, but they tell Yutu they think he really would have approved of Cerb. They remember him as being a socially awkward, but extremely passionate about his work and hobbies. His love of retro games causes a lot of Yuu's cursed pains, they know he liked those sorts of games but they can't for the life of them remember the titles. Yutu tries to reassure his parent it's just nice knowing a little bit about his dad and that he doesn't need the specifics. Hearing about his dad's interests motivates him to learn about emulators as he gets older, and he builds Yuu a nice family computer after scrounging for parts.

Yutu prefers single player or local co-op games, but makes an exception if Yuu has a long term MMO or something like a genshin account because he does like playing with Yuu. It helps soothe his social anxiety to talk to people while he knows his parent and Cerberus are near by, but when they aren't online he's essentially a solo gamer.

Unfortunately for Yutu's potential inner gremlin, Yuu also remembers Idia's shut in tendencies and is determined to get him outside from a very young age. Cerb does her best to help with that too, it's Yutu's job to walk her and he swears she keeps trying to introduce him to people. He's had so many awkward conversations with the people in his neighborhood because of her. His other chore used to be helping out in the little vegetable garden Yuu started to help cut down grocery costs, but that quickly ceased being a chore and became a full blown passion.

Idia! Yutu loves flowers. He fills his windowsills with plants that are safe to be around dogs and has Cerberus help him dig a flower bed around your home so he can plant more of them. Sure the veg garden is nice too, but he loves the significance of and variety that can be found in flowers. If you live in a place that can keep bees then he will absolutely bug you about wanting to get some.

Twisted Wonderland looks horrible to Yutu. It's dark and cold, he's been snapped into a room full of people in a place he doesn't recognize, and his parent has gone non responsive as he tries desperately to shake them awake. He tries snapping at the fancy looking man that comes to help and accidentally bites his tongue, and that's when he notices it.

Mostly because Cerberus tackles him and tries to put him out.

"Owowowowowowowwww-" Yutu tries to push Cerberus back but she keeps whining and trying to lick at his face. She yelps as Yutu catches his breath as he sees what she's trying to paw at. His hair is on fire, or to be more accurate his hair is fire. He can hold it, he can tug at it, it's warm and is not burning his clothes but his hair is on fucking fire-

"STAY." The voice is so commanding that both Cerb and Yutu freeze, the strange man from before with his dual colored hair looks oddly nostalgic at his little command, eyes obviously softening at the dog as he shakes his head. "Good girl, no need to worry. Your little master is ok, he isn't going to combust." Cerberus whines, but she relaxes and Yutu stands shakily. "Though full warning you might feel like you are once I am done explaining things to you."

Idia and Ortho are called to NRC for an emergency and debriefed on their way over. Yuu holds on to life just long enough to speak with Idia a little, the first time Yutu meets his dad the two of them are saying goodbye to a now comatose Yuu. The silence is awkward, but the hold Idia has on Yutu isn't. I like to think that Idia and Yuu had talked about what they would have wanted to name Yutu, and that memory had carried across the world so there was no awkward introduction phase between the two of them. The sort of fall into each others lives immediately, the want for the other to exist overriding anything else.

Cerberus helps too. Idia might be more of a cat person but cute doggies are good too. ESPECIALLY one with such an awesome name, she's the most spoiled girl in the entire apocalypse. She's an old dog at this point, so Idia takes her back to S.T.Y.X. where she becomes a sort of unofficial mascot for the research teams. Idia makes her a uniform and everything. He regularly sends pictures to Yutu while he's busy at school.

Because of Yutu's love of gardening trumping his interest in technology, he ends up in Heartslabyul instead of Ignihyde. He is very embarrassed about this at first (he really hates the uniform) but Idia reassures him that he doesn't care about that. His kid could probably kill someone in front of him and he would not care, especially not at this point. So long as he is able to talk to his child about manga and games he doesn't care what extra circulars they're into. I can't see him being super excited about having to go to sports games, but then again maybe he would just think about it like a sports anime to help psych himself up to go (his kid would obviously be his favorite character).

Bad timeline Idia is a lot calmer than his younger self. He still loses his temper and goes on smug rants, but in general he speaks exactly like he does in book six to the S.T.Y.X. employees. His true personality only really comes out when he's alone with Ortho and Yutu, but he tries to keep his more pessimistic side in check. He wants Yutu to have some hope for the future, but the more he runs the numbers the bleaker things look.

Ortho is beyond excited to have his nephew back. He always liked hanging out with Yuu because of the lack of data he had about them. Every conversation he had with them was unique, and he was really looking forward to having the same experience with Yutu. He was just as if not more distraught than Idia when you both disappeared, so having Yutu back brings a bit more spark to his soul. Yutu was so stressed out from all of the changes he was experiencing that meeting Orhto felt weirdly normal. What's weirder: having an artificial humanoid for an uncle, technically being part alien, having fire for hair, or having a spell that literally opens the gates of hell. Yutu is not taking option one that's for sure.

Ortho and Idia are the ones who propose going back in time, but when it's their Yutu who is making the journey the suggestion is extremely difficult to make. Idia doesn't like the idea of asking his son to do this, it feels selfish. But then, Idia also feels like bringing him into existence before he could break the family curse was selfish, no matter what Yutu was always going to be doomed. But that just means he should be the one taking responsibility for this... Ortho volunteers himself for the mission but Yutu points out that that would probably be even more dangerous than sending him. It's a tearful goodbye, everyone knows that if the missions succeeds this timeline will cease to exist and they will never get to see each other again. They have a little party at NRC and Idia takes Yutu aside to visit Yuu's grave, firstly so they can say goodbye and secondly because he has a confession to make

"I was mega cringe when I was at NRC." His dad can't even look him in the eyes, and Yutu swears he sees him shaking. He has to blink a few times to make sure he is seeing things right, this doesn't look like overworked dad, or stressed dad, or angry at something mundane dad. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was-

"Well isn't everybody?" The tips of Idia's hair turn pink at the question and Yutu's quickly mirrors him from feeling like he's done something wrong. All he's done is repeat his dad's own advice back to him though. "You're always so cool and confident-" Idia wheezes and Yutu almost has to catch him. "I mean I'm sure you can't be bad as me-"

"Oh you are going to regret saying that." His dad can't really bring himself to elaborate further but the thousand yard stare does all the talking for him.

Idia! Yutu was given three very simple instructions by Uncle Ortho about going back in time:

1) don't try to lie to me about who you are, I will run scans and figure it out. Grandma and Grandpa finding out would probably be bad and just complicate things. Easy enough, having Uncle Ortho on his side makes the transition between future and past a lot easier. Current Ortho might be a lot more innocent? Naive? He isn't sure if those are the words he would use, but he is certainly less used to having a soul and being his own person than his Uncle is. Not that this makes him any less accepting of Yutu... if anything he is even more excited about him than he was in the future.

2) try to keep who you are a secret from Yuu, but get close to them. We need them to stay alive, even if we don't know why yet... Less easy than hanging out with Uncle Ortho, but still easy enough. I tend to write all Yutus as not fully realizing how much they missed or loved Yuu until they got to see the younger version of their parent... but out of all of them Idia! Yutu is certainly up there for just how hard it hits him. Mostly because of Rule 3:

3) I am so fucking sorry for what you're going to have to deal with please be patient with me!!! I promise I love you and your parent so much I'm just not going to know-

So that obviously came from Idia and not Ortho, but Yutu really disregarded that warning until he accidentally ran into his dad while trying to find Ortho and saw him take out a tablet? That he used to talk with and got very panicky about when he asked a very simple question about it. Uncle Ortho helpfully tells him later that Idia uses it to help him speak in public because of his anxiety, and is very pleased to learn Yutu has never seen him use it in the future. But that doesn't really change how things are now...

On the one hand, Yutu gets it. He has bad social anxiety himself, but because he had a very supportive parent who worked with him to challenge himself in healthy ways he never got to the point that Idia is. He also was a lot older when he had his first experience with a traumatic loss and had Idia (who is a bit too experienced) and Ortho (who is just so understanding) there to help him through it. He knew that was not the case for his dad, they talked about it a lot in the future because Idia felt like he had a right to know, but I don't think he fully comprehended how bad Idia's mental health was.

Because no matter how much he might get it, this guy is still his dad and Yutu really wants to interact with him. He wants to impress him and maybe finally beat his high score on Star Rogue, Yutu just knows there are a bunch of stories he never got to hear because his dad was too embarrassed to tell him and this is maybe his one chance to find all of them out. But his dad is such a shut in he barely even interacts with Yuu! Yutu was always way too embarrassed to ask him about how they got together and now he swears he'll never know because him being in Ramshackle seems to have scared his dad off.

That's only half true, Idia doesn't really see Yutu as a romantic rival... like Cater he assumes you are related in some way because of the similar appearances and tastes in manga. Even when the two of you deny it he shrugs it off, hey maybe Yutu is just you from a different reality? He thinks he read a manga like that once... either way not his monkey not his circus. But like. It could be, Ortho really does like to remind him that Yuu is much less judgemental than everyone else on campus so if he wanted to make some progress on his journey of self improvement talking to them might not be such a bad idea. wink wink nudge nudge! But going over there still means he has to interact with someone other than Yuu and Mr. Grim and that's stressful.

He doesn't think about it at all when Yutu keeps finding excuses to not be there when Ortho drags him to visit because of how relieved he is to not have to socialize with him, at first anyway. He notices when Ortho excuses himself too, they certainly seem to be buddy buddy which isn't something he's going to complain about but as Idia does get closer to Yuu and *ugh* admits to himself he's got some feelings he starts to feel like he should at least know something about the kid other than his name. He does not completely figure it out, but he notices all of the relevant data points before he's slapped in the face with who Yutu is.

Like Lilia! Yutu's reveal, I think Idia finds out about who Yutu is in the middle of a fight. Yuu gets injured by a really strange blot phatom Idia has never seen before and Yutu absolutely looses it. His hair flares up and for snaps his hood to cinders as he's roaring out spells and trying desperately to make sure that thing doesn't touch his parents. Something you both hear loud and clear.

At first this makes Idia beyond excited. He probably joins the little fit his son is throwing except in raw joy because he's fantasized so much about this! He even has a little sims save where Yuu and him are married and they've got a kid and a cat and wow just look at Yutu he looks even cooler in real life than he does in a life sim! Yuu look at him, you guys have a-

A kid. You have a kid. With him. One that's got his teeth and hair and your nose and is sobbing in his arms about how much he missed you both and doesn't want to watch you die again. The sheer worry eclipses his second hand embarrassment at his own smugness as he awkwardly holds on to the sobbing Yutu and looks towards you for help. He's never been good at this whole emotional comfort thing, pls assist. So you pick yourself up and join the group hug and all three of you just sort of sit there for a bit while Yutu tells his story. About growing up in your world, how he came to NRC and his friends in Heartslabyul (Idia is blaming that on you, as a joke ofc he doesn't care what house his kid is in), and the plan to go back in time because of how hopeless the future is. It's not a story Idia takes lightly, especially when Ortho confirms it and sends him all of the data he and Yutu have collected so far. Idia is a bit gloomy and prone to complaining, but if you are in a bad place there are few people more reliable. He is a lot like death in a way, he'll always be there in the end.

Idia is a bit awkward around Yuu for a bit after the reveal, I like to think of you as being newly together at this point so Idia hasn't really revealed just how... detailed some of his fantasies about you are just yet. There are a lot of them, he has uh. Maybe written some of them down, pleasedon'tmakehimreadthemoutloud and most of them are perfectly normal and respectable (lies). It stops when you tell him Yutu had to come from somewhere and he dies, buries himself under his covers, and rises again a changed man. Yeah that's right, his kid did come from somewhere NORMIES. He had se-

He's not super big into PDA but he is comfortable being clingy around Yutu and Ortho, though he tries not to be overly cheesy around Yutu. He hates seeing his parents be all lovey dovey with one another and he likes to keep his compliments quiet and for your ears only anyway. I do like the idea of Yuu being a tiny bit more outgoing and embarrassing him a bit around "the kids" (Grim and Yutu) so his hair is in a damn near permanent shade of pink any time he's around Ramshackle. It's one thing to have your younger brother think the world of you, but to have a kid think so highly of you that he travels back in time to save you from an apocalypse? Idia feels super unworthy, it fuels his determination to work out the "problem" Yutu has given him even if his natural pessimism makes him want to give up.

"... Just leave it to your dad." It's an echo of the only other promise he 100% intends to live up to. He really does mean it, Idia is not loosing this match. Just you wait and see...

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: Pain... when it sucks, it really sucks hard. (my life)

Today N. came home. After 3 months abroad, he was back with me/us. However, N. was a little disappointed. Our Baby didn’t feel comfortable with him. He didn’t see him for 3 months. He was a stranger to our son. But later in the evening, when we were in bed together, our little one seemed to slowly understand, that Nico belongs to us. He didn’t cry anymore when N. tried to hug or hold him. He even seemed to enjoy it a bit. ❤️

Nico: I missed you both sm. I was hoping he’d remember me.😟

Me: You have to give him some time. He was only one day old when you left. And look at him, he likes you.

Nico: He’s quiet now because you’re holding him.

Me: But something about you seems to make him curious? He’s already tired. I can tell by his eyes. Still he struggles to stay awake. He doesn’t want to fall asleep. He looks at you all the time, N.

Nico: And he won’t let go of my hand. He pulls really hard like.. he’s fighting with me. 😄 He wants me out of here, huh?

Me: Let's put him between us. 🥰

Nico: Why is he sleeping here with you in our bed?

Me: He got used to it. He screamed & cried a lot. It was easier for me to have him next to me, to calm him down or feed him.

Nico: Yea, I know. You told me. But now that he’s fine, he should learn to sleep in his own bed, babe.

Me: He’s only 3 months old!! And I still have to feed our son every 3 hours.

Nico: I’ll get up for you. I go to his bed and give him the bottle.

Me: Is he bothering you?

Nico: What about fucking? I mean, he doesn’t bother me. He’s just a Baby. He doesn’t get it anyway. But I know, you! I doubt you’ll sleep with me, as long as our Baby is lying next to us in the same bed.

Me: Maybe that’s why he doesn’t like you?🤨 ...No, I’m just kidding. Um, well! I-... Idk? It's gonna work out somehow. But tbh... here, at my parent's, it's-.... Agh, I’m afraid someone might catch us or something. Yk? I can’t even close my door! Let’s stay in the house tomorrow night. There we have at least a little more privacy.

Nico: You had a fight with your parents? We used to have sex in your room, so why not now?

Me: It was a bit tense between me and my Mom. I just don’t want to hear anymore that I’m a bad mom.😞

Nico: Did she say that to you?😠

Me: She didn't really say it, buttt I always feel like I’m doing something wrong. She said I didn’t care about Lucas. This hurt me a lot. Anyway.

Nico: I gotta get you out of here.

The next morning I woke up with a severe headache. The pain was unbearable. I knew that pain. I’ve had this kind of headache in the past. That’s why I became hooked. I had to take very strong painkillers, opiates, because nothing else helped me. And now it was back. Why the hell? I really didn’t have the strength and nerves to deal with this kind of pain, NOW. 😭😫

I got up and went to the bathroom. This pain almost drove me crazy. I was afraid I’d be as bad as I was then, in the past.

I sat down on the floor in the shower. I tried to get through it somehow. Usually, the headache stopped after an hour.

And yes, I got a bit better. That moment Nico came to me. He just woke up.

Me: Did you leave Lucas alone?

Nico: No, ofc not! I took him down to your Mom. I thought you were there too. What-

Me: Nothing! I- I’m fine. I had a bad headache.

Nico: That’s why you’re sitting.... naked in the shower? 🤨🙂

Me: Yes, exactly. When I have this severe headache, sometimes I do things that don’t make sense. Yk? Out of desperation to survive the pain somehow.

Nico: And has it helped?

Me: No, nothing helps, but I still try, because, as I said, I’m desperate and can hardly stand it.

Nico: I love you, babe. So much. 😟

Me: Love you too. 😳

A day later I had to go to the hospital. I passed out, because I couldn’t stand the pain anymore. The docs suspected that it had something to do with the c-section anesthesia? However, it was nothing serious but the pain... didn’t go away. Just as then. 😫

Previous/Next

[goosefruit]

healing

vanessa shelly x reader

tw: smut, vanessa’s stab wound, fingering, squirting, bottom!vanessa, basically trying to navigate sex while she’s recovering from an injury

a/n: not my best work but i’ve had this idea in my head for so long so i wrote it

================================================

‘Grateful’ didn’t even begin to describe how you felt when Vanessa was finally discharged from the hospital. 

She was there for roughly a month, half of which she spent in a coma. You stayed by her side the entire time, only leaving to use the bathroom and shower. There were times when you were afraid that she would never wake up again.

But now that she was back home, you took care of her like a princess. You brought her breakfast in bed every day (though she insisted she could walk, you knew it took her a great deal of effort), prepared baths for her, and sang to her when she had trouble sleeping.

Two weeks into this recovery process, you had woken up to her whimpering and writhing in the middle of the night.

Thinking she was having another nightmare about her father, you wrapped your arms around her, carefully avoiding her still-tender scar. However, upon getting a closer look, you realized that she was wide awake.

“Is the pain keeping you up?” You were already reaching towards the nightstand  where a bottle of painkillers was readily available. 

“No, baby,” she choked out. “It’s my pussy. It won’t stop throbbing, and I can’t fall asleep.”

If it weren’t for the agony in her voice, you swore that you would’ve made fun of her for acting like a bunny in heat.

“Have you…orgasmed at all in the past two weeks?” 

“I tried! So many times. But every time I got close, my abs would tense up, and then I’d be too busy worrying about the pain from my wound to finish.”

“Nessa, my love,” you positioned her so that she was sitting up with her back to your chest. One hand drifted down to her inner thigh, rubbing it through her pajama pants. “May I?”

She nodded eagerly as she wiped at a tear that had formed in the corner of her eye. The both of you had missed this so much, but you promised yourself that you would only make love to her again once she had completely recovered. 

Was this breaking that promise? You didn’t want to hurt her, but she seemed like she would be hurting more if you didn't start touching her soon. 

So you allowed your hand to move closer to her center as you captured her lips in a kiss. She gasped into your mouth when you ran a finger down her clothed slit. Her pussy was soaked to the point where you could easily feel the wetness through her pants. 

“Aw, my poor baby,” your middle finger traced the slightly protruding shape of her clit. “I’m going to make you feel so good, okay? You just try to relax every muscle in your pretty body.”

With your help, she slipped out of her pajamas so that she was completely naked, patiently waiting with her legs spread as you took off your own clothes. Since this was the first time you were having sex in a long while, you wanted to do it unclothed and properly.

You were on top of her now, trailing kisses up and down her body. Upon reaching her abdomen, you took the time to press your lips all around the bumpy red patch on her right side. She had been afraid to let you see the scar when she first woke from her coma, thinking it’d gross you out. Now, all you wanted to do was show her how perfect you thought every inch of her was. 

“Fuck, yeah…” she let out a blissful moan as you circled her entrance, dipping your fingers in just far enough to rub against her sweet spot. 

“Breathe, baby, breathe.” You whispered as you slid two fingers all the way in. Vanessa thrusted her hips up out of habit and cried out from the strain on her injury. 

“Shit!”

It ended up taking you several different positions until you found one that she was comfortable in. She laid on her back with her hips propped up on a pillow while your fingers pumped rhythmically in and out of her. 

“You tell me if it’s too much, my love.” Your free hand squeezed her breast, mouth leaving little marks on her neck.

“I’m gonna cum, Y/N. Fuck, it feels so good. I missed you so much.”

The hand that was playing with her nipples reached down to gently rest on her hip, reminding her to relax. At the same time, you went up to kiss her passionately. Her favourite way to cum was with your tongue in her mouth, so that was how you were going to do it tonight.

When you finally felt her walls tighten around your fingers, she whimpered as her muscles spasmed. The relief that she had been seeking all week long was so overwhelming that tears rushed to her eyes. 

“You okay? Did I hurt you?” You checked her face for any sign of pain. 

“No, no, don’t worry. I’m fine,” she panted, eyes closed as a few aftershocks washed over her. “But…I think I squirted.”

The wet patch on the pillow below her confirmed her statement. How cute.

“Give me a second, I’m gonna clean you up.”

You brought a damp washcloth from the washroom to wipe away the stickiness on her thighs. By the time you were done, she had already passed out on the bed.

Spooning her, you whispered sweet nothings in her ear. You told her how strong you thought she was, and how afraid you were of losing her. You must’ve whispered ‘I love you’ a hundred times by the time sleep overtook you.

[jeannineee]

Umbra et Ventus (Ⅱ)

Azriel x Reader

a/n: Part one found here. Quickly proofread.

warnings: Mostly canon-typical themes, other than Valhallan alongside most of the continent still has slavery, depictions of scarring, allusions to PTSD.

PART THREE

Sunlight crept through your windows, serene and welcoming as you woke from your sleep.

No nightmares.

How long had it been, since you last slept so peacefully? You couldn’t remember.

You took your time in the bath that morning, savoring the warmth of the water, the feeling of the soap sliding along your skin. The realization that you would soon be running late to meet Feyre forced you from your relaxation.

You dressed, and made quick work of your hair. You stuffed some fruit and toast down your throat just in time for Feyre to knock on your door. You were still chewing as you opened it, with Feyre walking inside as though she’d known you for years.

“It’s so cozy,” Feyre said, eyes darting around your cramped apartment.

Your cheeks heated in slight embarrassment. “Probably toils in comparison to what you’re used to.” Feyre was High Lady. She had to have multiple homes. To her, your apartment was likely a shack.

“I lived in a home smaller than this, for many years.” Feyre said, almost solemn as she linked her arm through yours, leading you outside.

You didn’t pry her for more information as the two of you made your way through the streets of Velaris. Feyre went on and on about the four Palaces and the types of establishments they bore, even going so far as to introducing you to some of the shop owners whom she was friends with.

As the two of you entered Feyre’s favorite dress shop, the tailor wasted no time in attaining your measurements, learning your likes and dislikes, and sending you off to the fitting room, several dresses already waiting for you.

Feyre waited excitedly outside the fitting room. The dresses were skillfully crafted, with intricate lace and beading; the colors chosen to complement your skin. But as you tried on the first dress, your heart plummeted.

As if sensing your unease through the door, Feyre asked, “Everything alright?”

“Yes,” you called back quickly.

“Do you need help?”

“No. Just…give me a minute.”

You turned away from the full length mirror in the fitting room, craning your neck to see the open back of the dress. It was as beautiful as the front. Save for the horrible scars that littered your skin. You immediately remembered the vicious cracking of the whip, the agonizing, white-hot pain as it met your back. The blood, running down—

“Y/n,” Feyre’s calm voice coaxed you from your thoughts. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” you said again, before taking a deep breath. “All of these dresses have open backs. I’d prefer one that covers my back.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure those dresses look lovely on you. Why don’t you let me see—“

Mild panic rose in your voice. “No, that’s quite alright. I would just prefer a different dress.”

Feyre made no argument as her footsteps departed.

Feyre also allowed no room for argument as she paid for the dress you selected half an hour later. You’d practically begged her to let you pay for it. The death stare she gave you as she handed the store owner her credit card showed you exactly why she was the High Lord’s mate.

~~~~~~~~

“You’ll get used to it,” Feyre said as you settled into the booth with her and Mor at Rita’s that evening, the sound of upbeat music thrumming through your ears. “The liveliness. The passion. The joy.”

It confused you, at first, what she’d meant. But as you observed the people around you, dancing, chatting, drinking to their hearts’ content, you realized how foreign this was to you. Supposed it was foreign to Feyre, too, for a time, if any of the stories you’d heard about her were to be believed.

Before you could open your mouth to reply, Cassian, Rhysand, and Azriel approached, all of whom held drinks for the group.

“I hope you can hold your liquor,” Rhysand said, amusement lining his words as he sat next to Feyre.

“We’ll find out,” you told the High Lord.

You realized a moment later that the male with the shadows—Azriel—was watching you expectantly, eyes darting between your form, and the booth. “May I?” He asked, in a voice that turned your core molten.

“Of course,” you said. And Mother spare you, the next words flew from your lips before you could rein them in. “I don’t bite.”

The group snickered at that. Except Azriel, who only offered a wicked smirk in response as he slid in next to you, a grinning Cassian on the other side of him. To your own surprise, you held Azriel’s stare for a few moments longer, before returning your attention to the rest of the group.

~~~~~~~~~

A couple of hours had gone by, and you’d found that you could hold your liquor rather well. Though that may have been out of sheer stubbornness, given Cassian’s taunting.

Mor had disappeared onto the dance floor. Rhys and Feyre sequestered themselves in the bathroom, while Cassian left to get more drinks. Leaving you with Azriel.

Perhaps it was the alcohol dulling your good sense, or maybe genuine curiosity. Or maybe a death wish. But you said to Azriel, “You don’t talk much.”

Azriel tilted his head at you, observing. He seemed to do that often. “I find talking to be unnecessary, most of the time.”

You hummed. “How can I get you to talk more, Azriel?” It’s the alcohol. Definitely the alcohol.

You swore his pupils dilated at the sound of his name on your lips, but you said nothing of it as Azriel replied, “I’m talking now, aren’t I?”

You smiled. “You’re simply replying to what I say.”

The spymaster returned your smile. “Isn’t that how talking works?”

A soft laugh. “Yes. But sometimes it’s nice to not have to lead the conversation, you know.”

Azriel leaned in closer, his cedar scent engulfing you. “Perhaps I like hearing you talk.”

You tilted your head back to meet his gaze. Mother above, he was beautiful. “Likewise,” you managed to say, some primal part of you refusing to break his stare.

Azriel was close enough that his breath tickled your face. His lips looked so soft. If you edged forward just a bit more—

Cassian plopped down across from the two of you, grinning wildly. “Was I interrupting something?”

“No,” Azriel responded before you could. Cassian nodded, before ranting to Azriel about the girl he flirted with at the bar.

It was only then that you noticed Azriel’s hands, where they rested in his lap. Brutally scarred and disfigured. Azriel followed your gaze, but said nothing as he returned to his conversation with Cassian.

You were almost certain whatever happened to his hands is what invited the presence of his shadows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, as you laid in bed, you found yourself wondering if you were out of your damned mind. You’d never so blatantly flirted before. Ever. Nor had you ever been so unwilling to back down. Azriel was…you’d never met someone like him. You couldn’t figure him out.

And Cauldron be damned if that didn’t piss you off.

You grumbled, turning over in bed. Your thoughts then went to Rhysand’s offer, at the end of the night. After he’d returned with a disheveled Feyre, he explained that Amren was hounding him about you, about your powers. She wanted to work with you, to see if she could get your powers to come to light. To what end? Rhys was unsure.

Despite your adamance that your powers were dormant, if not completely gone, Rhys wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Mostly because he feared Amren kicking his ass into oblivion.

So you agreed.

Starting tomorrow, you’d spend a few hours out of each day at the House of Wind, proving to Amren what you already knew: your powers were gone.

Your captors made sure of that. Decades ago.

As you teetered on the edge of sleep, you couldn’t help but hear Amren’s voice in your head.

There’s power in your blood.

There’s power in your blood.

There’s power in your blood.

[bambisnc]

you got mail~!

➵ from : xu minghao~ ♥︎ (b4 reading look here for cw/tw)

"remember that bet we made a couple weeks ago? ..yes i’m aware we’ve made several if one were to count but i’m specifically talking about the one where you said that you are, and i quote, “cute as fuck” and charming enough to be able to win over anyone you’d want, myself included. we never really reached a proper conclusion on it; you’d gotten distracted and fled the library on receiving a call from who i’d assumed was your distressed best friend, leaving me there drowning in an oasis of overthinking - i’ve always found your empathy rather.. charming. another incident i’d like to bring up took place during the school camping trip a couple months back,.. i was going through some hard stuff then. obviously there was no reason for me to, and i know that you must have thought of me as more of an asshole than usual, but i was particularly relentless with you - i definitely did say some harsh things which i didn’t mean. you fought back - which, on another note, is also something i admire about you - how you never back down from a challenge - but right before you stormed off in the dark of the night, i saw the faintest shimmer in your eyes.. you were crying. the sharp stab of pain that raced through me, the sound of blood rushing to my head made me unable to choke out the words out of comfort i so strongly wanted to. you missed the presentation that was scheduled for soon after, and i can’t tell you how sick i was with worry. i saw you soon after with the person i believe you were romantically interested in then, whispering something softly to each other. and that, sweetheart, was my italicized ‘oh’ moment. i admit it was obviously not the best time to realize it; i didn’t want to a home wrecker?? there was also the fact that you probably hated me with all of your existence.. so i did everything i could, i put in all the effort to be able to gain back your favor. i’m sure you would have been wondering where the sudden niceties where coming from. to be very honest, i think a part of me always knew, subconsciously, how much your presence meant to me - our rivalry in a way encouraging me to do my best - and how much i wanted to treasure you. i called you 'sweetheart', defending it to myself as it being a petty insult but maybe i just liked affixing an endearment to you..

not much else to say now, except, well, you’ve won. you’ve got me hopelessly falling for you. you make me feel emotions i’ve never felt before and i can’t help but feel terrified. you have me losing sleep daily thinking of you, your unfaltering confidence in goodness, your dedication to whatever you put your mind to, your witty remarks, and that infuriatingly gorgeous smile of yours that i seem to be rather incapable of resisting, because how can i not let that infectious joy and optimism of yours settle into my veins, my skin, my heart. i’ve let you run away from me twice. i refuse to let that happen again. i'm willing to fight, to beg, to wait. to do whatever you ask of me. I’m aware a relation like ours cannot just be redone completely in a day, but i promise if you give me the chance, i’m more than willing to make it all up to you and make you happy, so please, let me now make sure that i can treat you with all the love you deserve, sweetheart."

~ yours (if you so choose to accept me ♡︎)

[check out my masterlist for more >.<]

[alexthefly]

Snakes on a Thunderbird

For @godsliltippy for TAG MiniBang 2023 (@tagminibang)

Inspired by this adorable piece of Fishtank art here. (@tippystreasurebox)

Trigger warning for snakes. Also brief mention of animal neglect, plus some minor whump and peril.

As Virgil went through his post-flight checks, Gordon twisted and revelled in the several satisfying pops his back made. 

“Oh god, that is so much better! Want me to crack yours for ya, Virg?”

There was a grumble of disapproval from his right. 

“I’ll pass thanks. Hearing yours was an experience in itself. In fact…” 

His brother reached over and snagged the small metal box Gordon had been carrying on his lap. 

“...perhaps I’d better take that before you do yourself any more damage.”

Gordon rolled his eyes and snatched the box back with perhaps just a little too much snap.

“Right Virgil(!) ‘Cos hauling passengers and crates off of a sinking ship was fine, but this last hundred yards to the rescue centre is where things gets really tricky(!)”

The rescue hadn’t really been all that bad physically. The crates in question had been lighter than expected, though that was because apparently properly feeding the various animals inside had clearly not been much of a priority for the smugglers on board; about as high as safety and ship maintenance had been. And although Gordon’s back was definitely starting to twinge a bit now, he’d have been a lot happier to be a lot achier if it meant those poor creatures had been treated right.

Well, whatever. He’d stayed professional. …Mostly. That Johnny hadn’t mentioned his little brother's prolonged blue streak ricocheting over the comms was likely a sign that he’d felt the same way.

The fact the GDF were already briefed and waiting with an arrest warrant the second they’d touched down was probably another one.

A yellow light broke through his thoughts and dragged him back to the present. He batted the medi-scan away with a grunt.

“Would you quit it, Virg? I’m fine.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Gordon opened his mouth, ready to deliver a witty yet devastating retort, but then thought wiser of it. Better to just let the big guy get it all out of his system. He'd only worry otherwise, and a worried Virgil was a pain in the backside, especially with the flight home and debrief to get through. He closed his mouth and submitted to the inevitable with a huff.

Virgil for his part stayed quiet too as he completed the scan; once it was done, he continued to look Gordon over with the practised eye of both a medic and a big brother.

“Well, Doctor Virgil? Are you done? Can we go now?”

Another moment of scrutiny. Then: 

“You know today was a good day, right?”

Dammit. The big green angst-detector strikes again.

Gordon really didn’t want to talk about it now.

“Whatever you say, bro.”

“I mean it,” Virgil insisted. “You’ve said it yourself - this shelter is the best. They've got the facilities and the expertise; they’ll take good care of all these guys, big and small. And the GDF will make sure the people that did this get what's coming to them."

“Uh-huh.”

"Gordy, the good guys won. Take the win.”

Honestly it didn’t feel like a win. Not even a tiny one. The memory of all those sad little eyes was too raw. It was going to take a lot for it to fade into the background, and he just didn't have the energy right now. All he wanted was to get everything unloaded, go home, swim ‘til he couldn't think anymore and then crawl into bed and sleep for 12 hours.

"Virg, could we please do the pep talk another time? The shelter staff are waiting for us."

A little frown appeared on his brother's brow, but he sighed and nodded.

"Are they all okay in there?” Virgil asked instead, nodding at the box balancing on Gordon’s dashboard. 

It was an obvious change of subject, but a welcome one. Gordon gave the portable incubator a protective little pat.

“Should be. I candled them earlier and they look good. Not pipped yet, but I think it should be soon.”

He blinked as a sudden thought occurred.

“Actually," he said as he opened the incubator lid and retrieved the covered tray inside, "I’m just gonna check they’ve not been turned mid-flight. I’ve been holding them steady the whole way over, but you never know.”

“I thought you were supposed to turn eggs?” said Virgil with a hint of confusion. He leaned across to watch what Gordon was doing. "Grandpa said it stopped the embryo getting stuck."

“That’s for birds. Snakes are different. All the little veins and stuff are fragile; you flip the egg, the umbilical cord tears away and they die.” 

Gordon gingerly lifted the lid and peered inside. 

"Of course, these guys are almost ready to hatch so I don’t know how much of that appli-”

But the rest of his thought died on his tongue as he lifted the lid and took a look inside.

A beat.

“What?”

“Erm, not sure. Hang on a sec…” Gordon gently slid the eggs to one side of the tray and running his gloved hands very carefully in the sandy substrate below.

"Where are you?" he muttered softly.

"Where's what?" Virgil quickly jumped to his feet, unease radiating from every pore.

"One of the eggs must have hatched in transit," explained Gordon, still rifling through the soft gravel, looking for any flash of movement. "Once the shell breaks they usually take a few hours to come out, but I guess with all the jiggling…"

"Okay, so presumably there should be a snake in there then. Where’s the snake, Gordon?!"

Gordon kept digging, slightly more urgently. 

"Some snakes bury themselves down into the substrate after hatching - it’s a kinda protection thing. They wait there for their first shed, then they come out looking for food."

Virgil reached out gingerly over Gordon's shoulder and picked up the soft and clearly empty egg shell, complete with a neat split down the middle. He held it softly in his hands, turning it over and over as if he might find the wayward snake still clinging to it somewhere.

"Exactly what sort of snakes are these, Gordy?" he asked slowly, deliberately.

"Umm…”

“Gordon!”

“I don’t know! I’m not a snake expert, and you can only tell so much from just the eggshell anyway.” 

He set the tray onto the dashboard and started checking inside the incubator itself, just in case. He could feel heat starting to rise across his cheeks.

“Gords, could it be… poisonous?”

Gordon swallowed back the sour taste in his mouth.

“I don’t know.”

There was a moment of horrible silence as those words sunk in. Of course, the chances of the snake being venomous were slim - only about 10-15% of known species were after all - and in any event their uniforms were designed to withstand pretty much anything, but there was still that tiny sliver of doubt in his mind. Was Brains far-sighted enough to have considered snake fangs as a variable during the testing phase?

Virgil took a step back, eyes darting everywhere, and tapped his wrist controller. 

“I’m not picking anything up. John? Any chance you could run a sweep of the cockpit for… uh… unusual heat signatures?”

“Unusual?” 

John’s projected image leapt out of the dashboard holo’ right in front of Gordon’s face, causing him to almost fall off his chair. 

“What sort of unusual?”

Virgil cleared his throat in a far-too-obviously guilty way. 

“We’ve kind of… misplaced something.”

“O-kaaay… What sort of something?”

Gordon opened his mouth to say… Actually he wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but in any case Virgil got there first.

“Can you just do it please, John?” he asked, brow furrowed. "Now?"

The look John shot them both could have stripped paint, but he turned away and started swiping.

“No unusual readings found,” he said after a few seconds. "Perhaps if I knew what I was looking for…”

Gordon caught Virgil’s eye. Despite his obvious concern about the situation, the big chonk was clearly still trying to cover for him. 

He really was the softest marshmallow.

But as touched as he was, right now the most important thing wasn't avoiding blame; it was finding the snake before anyone got hurt, including the creature itself. There would be time to wriggle out of Scott and John’s inevitable lecture later.

“The signal’s likely very subtle,” he said, drawing John's attention. “He’s cold-blooded, so his core temperature’s gonna be mirroring the immediate environment. Look at components a little below body temperature and check for tiny, unexplained fluctuations.”

“Cold-bl… You lost a reptile?!”

“A snake,” clarified Virgil.

There was a moment while John processed this new information, then he closed his eyes and pinched the top of his nose. 

“Of course it's a snake(!)” He sighed. “EOS? Did you catch all that?”

EOS’s voice rang through clear over the comms. “Yes, John. Checking now…”

“In the meantime,” said John, “I suggest you put your helmets back on, just to be safe. The less exposed skin you two have the better.”

The brothers nodded. 

Gordon set the incubator down and grabbed his helmet from the dash in front of him, just as EOS brought up a schematic of the cockpit onto the screen in front of him.

“There’s a slight irregularity in temperature around the co-pilot’s control panel, but it’s too indistinct to pin down to a specific component.”

Gordon’s eyes darted all over the dashboard in front of him. 

Where?

Scrabbling to push his chair back and get his helmet on, he vaguely heard Virgil say something about lifting the main cover off the console before he was suddenly distracted by a sharp, stabbing pain in his right cheek, just above the jaw.

“Yeow!”

Virgil was by his side immediately, mediscanner in hand. “What?! What is it?”

Gordon remained in his chair, sitting stock still.

"Don’ scan.”

"What?"

"Don' scan. Th' noise'll scare 'im."

Virgil's eyes went wide.

"Where is it?" he whispered, looking him up and down.

“I’z on m’ face."

“What?!?”

“On. M’. Face. W’z inside th’ helmet.”

Virgil and John exchanged a panicked look.

…Yep.

By rights, Gordon should have been scared. After all, there was a chance he could die here; the little danger-noodle might be pumping deadly venom into him by the second. But surprisingly he wasn’t overly worried about that possibility just now. In fact he felt strangely calm and clear-headed. What was done was done after all, and the priority now was to a) not do anything to make the snake strike again (him or Virgil); and b) get it secured.

“Ah’m gonna slowly r’move th’ helmet," he mumbled, trying not to move his mouth too much. "When y’ see ‘im, grab ‘im c’refully b’hind th’ head an’ unhook ‘im.”

Keeping his head stock still, he looked sidelong at his big brother to check he’d understood. Poor Virg looked pale, but he nodded and shifted into position in front of him, mouth set in a grim line. Behind him, John's face was a picture of worry.

“R'dy?” Gordon asked. 

Virgil nodded, hands poised.

He gave a little blink in lieu of a smile. “Okay."

Deep breath.

"One. Two. ‘Hree.”

And slowly he took off his helmet.

Virgil reached forwards and closed his hand next to his face. Gordon's skin pulled painfully for a moment, then released, leaving a sharp echo across his cheek.  

He exhaled in a big whoosh that seemed to come from his very soul, and raised his eyes to finally look on the thing that had bitten him.

“Scanning for a species match now,” said John urgently as Virgil stepped back, holding the offending creature out at arm’s length. “Cross-matching size, markings and-”

“It’s a Children’s Python!”

“A what?” Virgil asked roughly.

John took a massive breath in. “Oh thank god! Are you sure?”

“Certain,” replied Gordon, finding his feet and bouncing over to look a bit closer, all concern for his safety gone. “We had one as a class pet in 5th grade. Native to Northern Australia. Fantastic pets.”

“I can confirm the identification, John” said EOS. “The species is non-venomous.”

All the remaining colour drained from Virgil's face. He lowered himself down shakily into his chair, arm still outstretched. “Well in that case would someone please come and take this thing out of my hand before I have a heart attack?”

“Oops! Yep, give me one second…” 

Gordon grabbed the tray of eggs and fished out a roll of electrical tape from one of his console drawers. 

“This should keep the lid secure until we can get him into the shelter, at least.”

Gordon reached out and gently took hold of the little snake, who had stopped thrashing around and instead seemed content to curl its body gently around his hand. He took a second to admire its beautiful mottled markings in light and dark brown, and the gentle undulation of muscles pulsing as it moved.

"Hey, little guy."

The tiny snake flicked its tongue at him, tasting the air.

Slowly, gently, Gordon encouraged the snake back in the tray, extracted his hand, and then put the lid on and taped it down.

As soon as the tray was closed, John seemed to deflate like he was the one who’d been punctured.

“Please, for the love of god, don’t ever scare me like that again, okay guys? My cortisol levels can't take it."

"Take it easy John," soothed Virgil as he stumbled over to examine Gordon's cheek. "You sit back and have a float and we'll finish up here." 

He took Gordon by the chin and turned his face to the side. 

"...C'mon Blofeld, let's get you cleaned up."

…

Fifteen minutes later and sporting a natty Baby Shark band-aid on his cheek, Gordon skipped across the animal shelter car park towards the front desk. Alongside him, Virgil carried the now-definitely-sealed incubator. (Gordon had argued it was his privilege as 'the walking wounded’ not to have to carry stuff. Virgil had just rolled his eyes and agreed, muttering something about checking for himself to ensure no more 'jailbreaks'.)

Behind them, a dozen or so vets and other volunteers were unloading the various other crates of animals from Two's hold, checking them over and directing them to their respective enclosures.

Gordon grinned.

"Feeling better now?" asked Virgil, quirking a smile in reply.

He was, in more ways than one. Somehow, staring into the face of that tiny serpent had made him feel a lot more positive about everything. Nature really was amazing. If a baby creature, just out of its egg, could survive and protect itself in a hostile environment like that little one had today, then with a little bit of care he was sure the other animals they'd rescued would as well.

Life was good. He had his health, he had his family, and they’d done good today. 

Suddenly overcome with happiness, he couldn’t help doing a little jumping air punch, earning a low chuckle from his left.

"You were right, Virg. Today really was a win.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him. "Not sure I'd quite describe it that way, but if you say so. You did still set a snake loose in my ‘bird, though.”

“Hey, don't blame me! I'm as much a victim as you are. Little Hissy Houdini's a force all of his own.”

A pause. “You named him?”

“Yep! Kinda fitting, don’t you think?”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed. 

"You’re not keeping him.”

Gordon gasped dramatically. 

“Virgil Tracy, I am shocked! I would never-”

“Sully the Gully, Puppy Longstocking, Razorbill Bob, the Swift Family Robinson…”

“...again. Never again.”

“Well that’s just as well then, because I don’t think Scott would appreciate finding this little escapologist in his sock drawer, do you?"

As Gordon contemplated all of the delicious trickster-y possibilities that that image brought up, he stretched and gave his back another series of cracks.

Virgil regarded him coolly. "You sound like a goddamn popcorn maker," he grumbled. "Speaking of, I wonder if the others'd be up for a movie night tonight? I feel like we've earned a bit of down time."

"Sounds good to me," said Gordon, flinging an arm around the big man's shoulders. "And I have the perfect one in mind… You like Samuel L Jackson films, right?"

[sequinsmile-x]

Homesick

Emily is stuck at home, sick with the flu, and Aaron wants to be by her side.

-x-

A sick!fic, because it's the middle of the week and we all deserve it.

-x-

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: None!

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

“I don’t think this place has ever had quite this much paperwork,” Dave comments as he places a box full of files on the conference room table, “This is going to take hours.” 

“That’s why we offered to help,” Aaron says, grabbing some of the files himself, “Otherwise it might take the locals until the trial to get all of this done.” 

Even though they had solved the case, they had agreed to stay one more day. It was a small town and this was the first time anything like this had ever happened there. The local cops were underprepared to deal with a single murder, let alone the several that had happened in the last few weeks. The unsub had been transported to jail and the team were going to help with paperwork and dealing with the media. 

For the first time in a long time, Aaron was desperate to get home and found himself disappointed that they had to stay. Emily had stayed at home, stuck in her apartment from the flu that she had picked up from Jack. He found himself missing her, unable to sleep without her curled up around him, without the soft sound of her breathing filling the room.

It had only been four months since they’d got together, a tentative request for a date turning into a kiss by her front door, but he couldn’t imagine his life without her. 

“It’s quiet without Prentiss here,” Dave says as if he’d read Aaron’s mind, “I’d almost say peaceful if it weren’t for the serial killer we just arrested.” Aaron laughs, shaking his head as he places the file in his hand down on the table in front of them, 

“I won’t tell her you said that, she’d kill you as soon as she gets better,” he replies, smiling as he imagines the exact expression that would flit across her face if he told her. How her eyes would get impossibly wider and her mouth would fall open slightly, beautiful even in her outrage. 

“It’s nice to know you’d protect me from your girlfriend's wrath.” 

Aaron smiles at him, “Well, it would cost the FBI a lot of money to replace you.” 

Dave frowns, his eyebrows knitting together, “I remember you being a lot less cheerful before you and Emily got together,” he smiles wistfully, his eyes crinkling as he looks Aaron up and down, “She’s good for you. You’re good for each other.” 

He can’t help but smile at his friend's words, at the happiness that spreads through his chest at the mention of the woman he loves and their relationship. 

He felt lucky that he had fallen in love twice, and that both times they had been friends first. Haley had taught him that love he’d only ever read about in required reading in English class did exist, that people could be kind. Emily was teaching him that love after the most painful of losses is possible and that he deserved happiness even after everything he still blamed himself for. 

Haley might have been his first love, but he’d known since the first time Emily kissed him that she’d be his last. She understood, and loved, who he was now. She loved every part of him, even the parts he didn’t like, and he did the same for her. 

The guilt he’d been feeling since he left her on her couch three days ago, under a blanket he’d tucked around her with meds and snacks within reaching distance, goes from a simmer to a boil. Even though she’d insisted he still went to work, and then on the case, he hadn’t wanted to leave her behind. He couldn’t shake the idea that he was doing it wrong all over again, his past mistakes with Haley crawling up the back of his neck. 

“You know…you could always head home tonight. Morgan and I could make sure everything is ok here,” Dave says, and Aaron looks up at him, tilting his head slightly in confusion, “You’ve checked your phone more in the last few days than I think I have ever seen you check it in the entire time I’ve known you,” his smile turns into a smirk, “It will only take a few hours to drive home. I think you need it more than she does.” 

It’s all he’s wanted to do for days, but he falters. His responsibilities for his team, for the job that had cost him so much already, balanced against those for the woman he loves. After a few seconds, he looks at Dave again.

“Are you sure?” 

Dave nods, taking the last of the files from Aaron, “Positive, plus, this way I win the bet,” he shrugs nonchalantly, “I said from the start you’d leave before the case was over.” 

___

Emily groans as she shifts on the couch, her body aching as she tries to settle back down. She coughs and immediately winces, her ribs and chest sore from the repetition of it over the last few days. 

She felt like shit. 

She pulls the blanket tighter around herself and wipes at her nose with the sweater she was wearing, one that had once belonged to Aaron. 

It smelled like him. Or at least, if she could smell anything right now she knows it would smell like him. She’d put it on almost as soon as he’d left for work a few days ago. Emily knew it was in her head, that it could even be the flu making her slightly delirious, but it felt warmer than any of her clothes. As if some of his relentless warmth, something she loved about him, had seeped into the material surrounding her. A little piece of him she could have whilst he was gone. 

She knew he had to go, that he couldn’t just stay and look after her, but she missed him. She was sure her past self would have thought it was ridiculous, but she was used to spending most of her time with him. Used to waking up with him, used to reminding him to eat whilst he was working. 

Used to being loved by him. A reassuring smile and a hug never too far away. 

Her eyes are about to drift shut again, her seemingly ever-present exhaustion taking over, when she hears the scrape of a key in her front door, followed quickly by the door opening. She considers calling out and asking whoever was letting themselves in to kill her, and to make it quick, but she’s interrupted before she can speak. 

“It’s just me, sweetheart.” 

She sits up quickly, too quickly, and groans, her head throbbing as she looks at him, frowning as her eyes meet her boyfriend’s. He drops his go-bag by her front door before he moves further into her apartment, a soft smile on his face as he looks at her. 

“Aaron?”

He smiles at her as he places a plastic bag with a container of soup in it on her kitchen counter. He has a quick look around at the pizza boxes and Chinese take-away containers amongst disposed of tissues and empty cough syrup bottles. 

“Did you move at all whilst I was gone?” 

She frowns at him, scrunching her nose up as she sniffs, “Don’t be mean to me I’m sick.” 

Aaron chuckles and walks over to her, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss her forehead, grimacing when he feels the temperature of her skin. Her fever was better than it was a few days ago, but it was still there. He rounds the couch and joins her. She shifts her legs just enough for him to slip under them before she lays them over his lap. He studies her face carefully, her nose bright red and the rest of her skin paler than usual. 

“What are you doing here?” She asks, her nose still clearly blocked and her voice ragged, “Pen called and said you guys were staying another night.” 

“The team can handle it,” he says, tucking some hair that escaped the bun she’d thrown it into behind her ear, “I thought I’d come to see how you were doing.” 

She rolls her eyes and ignores how it makes her head feel like it’s burning, “Aaron, honey, I’m fine. Work is important-”

“Not as important as you.” 

She stares at him for a second, and she considers calling him ridiculous or making fun of him for being sentimental like she always did, but even in her flu-ridden state, she knows how much of an admittance this is for him. How big a deal it is that he left before a case was over, something she could never remember him doing before, for her. It didn’t take a profiler to see that he was trying. That he wanted to prove to himself that he could do better than he had in the past. 

She makes a mental note to talk to him about it when she's better, to tell him that he doesn’t have to prove anything to her. 

“I love you,” she says instead, secretly glad he’d driven all this way to see her, his presence enough by itself to make her feel better than she had in days. 

“I love you too,” he replies, leaning in to kiss her forehead again, he smiles widely as he pulls back, “I left Morgan and Dave in charge and drove back. I brought you soup,” he says nodding towards the kitchen. He looks her up and down again, his eyes briefly fixed on a sweater he thought he’d lost, “Seriously though, have you moved at all since I left?” He asks, “I’m fairly sure you’re still wearing the same pyjamas under that sweater you stole.” 

She ignores the comment about the sweater and groans, leaning her forehead against his shoulder, “I don’t have the energy to shower,” she complains, “Or move further than the front door to take in the food being delivered.” 

Aaron pulls her closer and runs his hand up and down her back, “Why don’t we have a bath, I’ll help you wash your hair, and then I’ll heat up your dinner for you.”

“Huh,” she says, her face still pressing into him, “That’s exactly what the guy who delivered my pizza last night offered too.” 

He pulls away from her, an outraged look on his face, “What?” 

She laughs, her smile wide, “I’m kidding,” she continues to laugh and before he has a chance to react it quickly turns into a coughing fit. He rubs firm circles on her back and reaches for the glass of water on the coffee table. 

“You’re ok, sweetheart,” he says, passing her the glass of water, “You’re ok.” 

She takes a couple of small sips as her coughing fades and grimaces as she puts it down, “God, why do I still feel like shit.” 

“You’re sick, Em,” he replies, offering her a half smile as she glares at him, “Even you can’t speed up getting over the flu.”

She hums and sniffs, wiping her nose on the sleeve of his sweater, “Well, your son is lucky he’s cute. Otherwise, I’d be having words with him.” 

Aaron chuckles and puts his arm around her, all but gathering her into his arms, “Jack and I definitely owe you breakfast when you’re better.” She nods against him and snuggles in further, finally finding the comfort she’d been missing for days. He feels her get slightly heavier, and he gently shakes her, “Sweetheart, we should do what I said.”

“What?” She asks, looking up at him, her eyes narrowing in confusion, “What did you say?”

He clears his throat to stop himself from laughing at her, knowing that it wouldn’t go down well even when she was sick.

“Bath, hair wash, food, sleep. In that order,” he says, kissing her temple before he stands up offering her a hand, steadying her as she stands too. She leans against him, her face buried in his shirt. 

“You’re mean.” 

He does smile this time, and starts to lead her towards her bathroom, “You’ll feel better for it, I promise.”

She stops them, her hand on his bicep as she faces him, her eyes shining with love, “I always feel better when you’re around,” she says quietly, biting her lower lip to try and contain her smile. 

It’s naked honesty, and he’s not sure she would have said it if she wasn’t sick, but it makes him smile. “I feel better when you’re around too.” He leans in to kiss her, but she pulls back her eyebrows furrowing. 

“Honey, I’m sick,” she protests, and she grimaces a little, “And I also don’t entirely remember the last time I brushed my teeth.” 

He shakes his head and leans in to stamp a kiss against her lips, smiling when their eyes meet again.

“Worth it.” 

-x-

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[catsofcalifornia]

Lancelot from Safe Cat Foundation in San Ramon, California

Click here for more information about adoption and other ways to help!

Click here for a link to Safe Cat Foundation’s main website.

Dear Lancelot, I write this as you lay beside me.  I remember when I first learned about you.  It was an urgent plea on Next Door from the shelter, saying your time was running out.  I didn't really know much about cats, having cared mostly for dogs in the past, but I offered to foster you the moment I saw that post. I remember when I picked you up from the shelter.  How you sat in your crate looking at me.  How your mouth made meowing motions but no sound came out.  My heart melted a little at your silent meows. I remember bringing you home, opening your crate as I sat beside you on the bed.  I know some cats take time to adjust to new surroundings so I was prepared to give you space.  But you immediately crawled onto my lap and purred the loudest purrs I'd ever heard as I petted you.  We went through a lot together in the months that followed.  And I bet it was nothing compared to what you went through the months you stayed at the shelter.  You were so listless those first months, barely moving every day, and just skin and bones.  Although I could tell you were hungry, eating caused you pain so you were scared to even approach food.  And you were a master hider.  I had to put a loud bell on you because you found hiding spots I never knew existed.  Looking back, now that I know the real you, I understand just how much pain you must've been in all that time.  That you suffered so greatly and for so long hurts my heart.  But what an astounding trooper you were throughout it all.  Despite how awful you must've felt, you remained so gentle and sweet.  It's been 4 weeks now as I write this that your health started to improve.  8 vet visits, an ultrasound, biopsy, several blood tests, and surgery to have all of your teeth extracted.  You've been through so much in such a short time, but finally I've gotten to see the real Lancelot. And what a delight you are. I love how you sometimes jump on the bed and sleep beside us.  How you curl up in the crook of an arm, or rest your body next to ours. I love how silly you are when you swat at dangling string or rub up against catnip toys. I love how you follow me around the house, from room to room, often running up ahead of me a little as if to say, "I'm gonna get there before you!", and then running the other way as soon as I turn around. I love how you sit in the yard with me as I'm typing away on my laptop or gardening.  How mellow you are and content to watch the passersby. I love how you let me put a harness on you and attempt to take you on a walk because I think all cats have a little bit of dog in them. I love how, when I'm in the other room with the dog, who we keep separated from you, you wait right in front of the door until I come out so that you can be by my side again.  My little shadow, my sidekick. I love YOU, you funny, sweet cat, with the silent meows that every once in a while turn into the littlest squeaks.  I can't believe the changes I've witnessed in you these past few weeks.  Every day has been a gift. I almost can't bear to watch the old video of you at the shelter now because it reminds me of your pain.  I hope your new family never has to see you like that.  But if they do, I hope they will do all they can to take care of you and help to make you feel better.  You may have special needs, but I hope they realize that you're worth it, that you deserve the best. You're now ready for adoption.  This was my end goal from day one, my purpose in your life.  I'm thrilled you've gotten to this point, and that I had the privilege of getting you there.  I'm going to miss you so much.  But the Lancelot-shaped hole you'll leave in my heart will be fair exchange for knowing that you'll fill somebody else's heart. I am filled with gratitude for having known you, Your Foster Mum (Lancelot has FIV and stomatitis, both of which are under control with the help of medication, given with high quality wet food.)    

[your-mystic-nymph]

here’s a master list for character facts/traits about my oc/sona. i’d like to preface this by saying that some of these things are not true to me as mun, and that this is for fictional lore purposes.

CW for SA trauma, childhood trauma, self-harm, and spiritual beliefs.

aggressively people pleasing, when she cares and loves someone she’ll go to no end to take care of them. it’s severely damaging to her mental health sometimes. she’s gotten hurt by an ex in the past from giving too much, he decided to use her kind naivety to manipulate her instead.

has 3 other siblings, 2 older sisters and a younger brother- she is the second youngest.

her two older sisters did not get along growing up after childhood, they’d constantly bicker and argue. morgan was picked on a lot by one of her sisters, making her feel insecure. her brother and her weren’t really close, they’d occasionally hang out but were distant.

middle school and high school were very difficult times in her life, she met her abusive ex outside of school while in her sophomore year. her only friend since middle school left her to hangout with others instead. her parents were fairly neglectful to what was happening so she only could rely on her ex for support.

she feels the need to prove her worth, unintentionally hiding her feelings of pain and anger. she doesn’t know how to process emotions properly and can seem dull and quiet sometimes due to her constant overthinking and spacing out. it takes a lot to actively piss her off, but once she is it’s intense and usually short lived. (think of it like a match)

has severe daddy issues, due to the lack of attention and care he had for her mom or siblings. she favors her mother significantly more then her father, having feelings of anger and resentment towards him. growing up he had misogynistic and toxic catholic views and standards for her, her siblings, and their mother.

her mom worked as a manager at a mental health facility, making her barely have time to care of morgan or her siblings. her dad would have to watch her and her siblings but did a pretty bad job at it. morgan’s mom relied on her to help take care of her siblings and dad when out working, teaching her a lot about domestic duties and mental health issues.

has a big fear of small closed spaces (closets, spaces to crawl through, underneath cabinets) due to the fact that when she was a child her father locked her inside of a small room and forgot when he passed out drunk and angry. the experience was extremely scary for her and no one was home to get her out for hours, to this day she won’t go into any spaces that she feels are too tight.

has a fear of the dark, doesn’t like to be in a room or place that has zero lighting at all. her eyes and brain trick her into seeing things and blur out and get staticky. she prefers to sleep with a night light or the tv on.

struggles with a disorganized attachment style.

is pretty impulsive and has a lack of self control.

clumsy, has a hard time keeping balance and occasionally bumps into things accidentally.

is a terrible liar, her facial expressions and mannerisms almost always reveal the fact that she is.

has a bad habit of talking to herself when she’s alone, has and probably will continue making the mistake of doing it when others are close.

experiences intense mood swings sometimes due to her PMDD- will laugh, cry, get mad, and feel hopeless all in the span of an hour.

prefers not to yell but when she does/has to it’s loud and sharp.

struggles with OCD and intrusive thoughts on a daily basis, also anxiety and depression.

is anemic and malnourished, her body has a hard time properly absorbing nutrients. (almost always seen with bruises somewhere on her)

she fantasies what it’d be like to die, to just finally give in to fate and let go- also has thought about what it’d be like to hurt someone just for fun. sometimes when she’s alone at night she’ll log into the deep web to look at graphic images and scroll past occasional snuff streams. she feels really bad about it but understands the worlds an unjust place, just sometimes can’t help but give in to her morbid curiosity.

she’s a sadomascochist, leaning more on the masochist side.

has a delayed pain response, taking a few seconds longer for the sensation to register.

has a pretty flexible body, not a contortionist or anything but she has long legs and arms that stretch far.

if given the chance she’d love to see what her skeleton, guts, muscles, look like- but she’s too scared to follow through with trying to see for herself so she just fantasizes it.

has a collection of sharp pretty small knifes she keeps in a purple velvet case.

regularly goes thrifting, getting second hand things- had to when younger and learned to love the used and cared for feel to things she’s thrifted.

hears whispers or voices sometimes, is paranoid and thinks somethings out to get her- also believes it’s spirits or whispers of past experiences occurring in the present.

usually just doesn’t have a good sense of memory, sometimes she remembers things very well and other times it’s all just lost to the void. (remembers what people like, don’t like, has trouble remembering certain plans or steps for things)

her ex in the past has used her insecurities and declining mental state for his benefit when she was younger. he would give her intoxicants and sexually assault/do things that messed with her head. they were together for 3 years before she finally decided to leave. he threatened her if she’d ever go to the police for what he’s done, has cursed him but still feels a lack of closure.

has a hard time trusting others but still craves love and affection despite her past. if she had to depend on someone she’d feel a bit relieved, but also restless and worried- constantly asking what she could do to help so she wouldn’t feel like a burden, feels unworthy and pathetic if not of service in some way. words of affirmation and reassurance go a long way with her.

when in extremely difficult or scary situations she dissociates, runs on autopilot for awhile. she’s developed this trauma response in order to deal with some heavy stuff she’s been through in her life. it’s hard for her to think or react properly when she gets like this though.

has the habit of running a bath for herself just so she can cut her upper thighs and watch the blood, the feeling and sight of the deep red shade is relaxing to her. has some of her blood kept in bottles with anticoagulants just to look at when bored.

frequents cemeteries to collect graveyard dirt, likes to sit and meditate under nearby trees just to try and clear her head.

likes different types of smells both pleasant and rotting. (smells like scat, urine, and vomit are off the table though)

her favorite flowers are hydrangeas, the blue ones remind her of the ones she used to have growing up by her house.

almost always seen outside of her home decently dressed with makeup on, doesn’t feel confident or put together without it.

has powers/abilities from a lineage of witch’s she didn’t know she’s originated from. (the weather changes around her depending on the area of change and intensity in her life)

has an affinity for feminine vintage type things since she grew up in a small town populated mostly by old people.

keeps miscellaneous herbs and spices in her kitchen and bedroom cabinets. (if you get the chance to explore you’ll see things like crushed egg shells, apple wood, moss, animal bones, sea shells, bird feathers, etc)

has shifted to a reality in her sleep she likes to call “the edge,” it’s a distorted colorful surreal type of place. she doesn’t know how or why she goes there, occasionally voices whisper to her but she forgets what they say when she wakes up.

is easily startled, if someone closes a door or sneezes too hard or something near her she gasps and jumps. things like that do occasionally upset her and she gets teary eyed.

has an immense sweet tooth and was taught how to bake and cook by her mother.

has sharp teeth, not like shark type of teeth but her molars and canines are sharp.

twirls her hair around her fingers or fidgets with her hands or clothing when she’s anxious to self soothe.

voice claim would be agnes from fantastic mr fox.

[meloromantics]

do you have any advice on dealing with pain post-IUD insertion? i had an IUD for a few days and the cramps were so intense i got it removed. they just wouldn't subside. that may have been partly my fault bc i didn't take any preemptive pain meds before the insertion to get ahead of it, but it was rough. did your pain subside relatively quickly after insertion? or is this just something you gotta power through regardless?

so i have survived three insertions!! and i do have some big sisterly tips

number one: yes it was partially your fault for not taking preemptive pain meds but also more likely your medical provider’s fault for not adequately preparing you for the fact that that would be necessary !!! my college gyno explained to me that post-insertion my uterus was going to squeeze and cramp around this unfamiliar foreign object like its little life depended on it. part of the reason i chose mirena as my preferred long-acting reversible contraceptive was because i had a history of really horrendous periods, and she (the gyno) told me to prepare for it like was going to be one of the worst ones i’d had. she and every provider since has advised me to take 400-800 mg ibuprofen a few hours before the insertion.

number two: i have always scheduled insertions right before my weekend, and i basically write off that weekend as Certain Cramp Hell. i always get a ride to & from, and i always plan to do as little as possible bc i know i will be in pretty dramatic pain for a couple days.

number three: have your preferred period pain killer on hand for when you get home. my first two times i took like three aleve PM even though it was early on a friday afternoon and i just passed out in front of the tv. this most recent time i packed my Largest Bowl of a 2:1 blend of my Strongest Indica and a cbd dominant strain before i left the house for my appointment and within seconds of getting home i slammed it into my bong and got big time high 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️ and sat uncomfortably in complete silence on my couch until bedtime when i took another 3 aleve pm and racked out. so i guess number three point five is sleep it off if you can. the worst of it is always over within five days for me, and i’ve always been able to be back in school or at work after 3 days.

number four: give her (the hormonal IUD) some time to get in there and show you what she can do for you. i can count on two hands the number of times i have had to think about / plan for / react to a menstrual moment since the spring of 2014 when i got my first one. i think the post-insertion window was the longest the first time—i had some light spotting and changes to discharge for the first few months, and it took about three months for my periods to taper off and disappear. every gal is different here, but two months after my most recent insertion i have been visited by a couple spectral cramps and some moderate PMS symptoms like attitude and appetite fluctuations, but that’s it. it is already worth the pain of the insertion, and i have another 5-7 years of historically smooth sailing ahead of me.

number five: be your own best friend and biggest advocate at the doctor’s office. if you go back for a consult, be up front about your previous experience, ask questions, and ask for advice. i know there are approximately six times as many hormonal IUD options as there were when i got the first mirena, and i don’t know all of their brand names or what makes them distinct—but your doctor should, and they should sit down with you and answer your questions until you feel comfortable and informed enough to move forward. as an example, my most recent removal was honestly traumatic ! i had no strings and the gyno really had to root around in there several times while i approaching feral animal panic from how painful it was. it was truly awful, but two months out it’s already worth it and i will continue to use this as my contraceptive for as long as i can. when its time for my next one, i’ll go into my consult ready to explain how terrible that was for me and ask about pain AND anxiety management ahead of the next one. i have heard tell of but never directly experienced doctors offices that will prescribe 3 xanax to you, or hit you with laugh gas ahead of the insertion so that your mind has some distance from the pain. those are the kinds of things i’ll be asking about next time for sure. five point five: if during these convos you feel that your doctor doesn’t take your pain and concern seriously, try to find a new one that will!!

i hope this was helpful! in college before my first insertion i put “IUD experiences” at the bottom of the agenda for a voices for planned parenthood meeting and asked a bunch of my peers who had been through it what it was like, and their descriptions and advice made me feel way more confident going in. i hope that my advice is helpful to you as well, and if any of my followers w. relevant experience want to chime in in the replies pls do!!

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Thoughts

Post-5.3. Estinien has unwanted feelings and thoughts that threaten to ruin his good time with Agi as she rests. Slightly NSFW.

Estinien sat on the loveseat in Luci Currai’s cottage with some whiskey in hand and stared at nothing in particular. Though happy to have his lady back in one piece (along with her comrades), he was feeling melancholy. Thoughts from the past emerged at the forefront of his mind, and he hoped that with more whiskey they would go away.

“Love?” The sweetest voice on the star whispered as Agnes appeared in front of him. I thought she was going to sleep? Tis still early, but she needs her rest. She needs…she’s done too much for everyone already. She needs rest and no stress from anyone. She won’t be leaving any time soon. She needs rest… “You okay?”

He grunted and sipped more of the amber liquid. “I’m fine. After we showered and ate, I thought you were going to sleep?” You need rest. You need to relax. That’s why you’re here with me. You’ve done enough for everyone else. Take care of yourself. Please. Please.

She shook her head as she sat down next to him. “I thought so too, but it’s still early…” Of course. “And I want to be with you.” She has the sweetest and prettiest smile I’ve ever seen. Do you know how happy you make me? “But you seem…sad.” She touched his cheek. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

He downed the rest of the whiskey in his glass and placed it on the side table. “Doing what I accuse you of---thinking too much.” He tapped his head with a long, scarred finger. “A time that’s better left in the past.” I know what exactly what she’s going to say. “I know you’re loathe to speak of the past, but if you want to talk, I’m here.” She’s so special. She gives me all the time in the world.

“I’m happy to listen, love, if you want to talk.” She said softly, still touching his cheek.

Estinien swallowed the lump in his throat. “I…I was thinking of when you were in the Far East.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Aye. You were gone for several moons, and we weren’t allowed contact. Those days were…dark, I suppose. I’d sit in whatever tavern I’d find myself in and drink and stew in a corner by myself…and think…” He closed his eyes. “I’d think about how much better off you’d be if you were with someone else.” Fuck. “Someone like Aymeric.” FUCK.

A high-pitched squeak escaped his lady. “What? Aymeric? Why on earth would you think that?”

Estinien shrugged. “He’s a good man---charming, as handsome a man you’ll find, kind, brave…he’s the very definition of a gentleman knight. He has all the gil to give you everything you’d ever want. He’d take you to balls and dance with you…he’d plan romantic dates…he’d cook you the fanciest meals…” Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. She’s been through enough. She needs you to be strong. She needs you to take care of her. She needs you to be gentle with her. She needs… “He’d buy you the prettiest dresses and gems…give you children…a beautiful home…” He inhaled sharply as he felt her kissing his moist cheek.

“Oh, love…come here. Come here.” Agnes said softly, holding her arms out. “Come here, my grumpy dragon…” Estinien smiled ruefully and laid his head on her ample chest. “Estinien, you are everything I could ever want. I don’t need a fancy home or lots of gil or anything like that.” She’s speaking in her softest voice and rubbing my head and ears. Fury take me, I love her so much. “Aymeric is a wonderful man…” She rubbed his ears gently. “But he isn’t you. I only ever want you, love.” All I ever want is you. I’m so grateful for you. That I was deemed worthy of loving you is a miracle. That you accept my love in return is a gift. “I just want to be with you, love. That’s all. I don’t want anything else. Just you, my grumpy dragon…”

Estinien could feel more tears falling. I love her so much…she needs to understand…she… “When we part, it may appear that I’m unbothered or worse, I don’t care…but it pains me so.” His voice cracked, and he hugged her tightly. “But I’m so, so happy that we’ll be spending time together for a long while.” You won’t be leaving for some time because you and your comrades need rest. You need rest. I’ll take care of you.

Agnes rocked them gently. “Yes love, we’re going to be together for a moon at the very least. You and me, ‘Stinien. Stay in the moment with me. We’re going to have such a good time. Going to the beach every day…I’ll make you a nice hot breakfast every morning…have tons of cuddles…and lots of sex…” She giggled. “Anything and everything with you, love.”

Picking up his head, he smiled at her before kissing her. She always melts into me when I kiss her. No matter what she’s so happy. Ending the kiss, he wiped his pale blue eyes. “Does that include having a cuddle?” He asked hopefully, feeling himself smiling again.

Holy fuck, she’s vibrating. Always a good sign! “Oooooh perfect, love.” She sprang up and bolted towards her bedroom. Her whole body is jiggling especially her ass. Fury, she’s going to be the death of me. “Hurry ‘Stinien!”

Let it never be said that I kept my lady waiting. “Woman,” he growled playfully. “I’m coming for you!” He approached her at her bedroom door and pulled her into his embrace with her arms going around his neck. “I love you.” He murmured, one hand traveling down to her behind to give it a squeeze.

“And I love you, my grumpy dragon.” Sweetest voice on the star. My Agi. Her chocolate brown eyes twinkled as she grinned at him. “Bed, love?”

“Aye.”

I shall do as I have ever done---hold her all night, give her kisses, and whisper little things to her to make her blush.

My Agi. My sweet, beautiful Agi who loves me as much as I love her.

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

Sometimes dreams can be so painful.

It’s 5:50am and I refuse to go back to sleep. Alarm goes off soon anyway.

I had this dream, it felt so real. I’m using real names. Doubtful either one uses Tumblr anymore. But I’d welcome either one to read this.

In my dream, I was at my old college. I saw Tristan and Ian and they waved me over. I didn’t think they were motioning for me but they called my name. I was hesitant, but went over. They asked me how I was, told me how much I hurt them, said they were in a spot to try to work things out. Ian hugged me, Tristan wasn’t ready for that.

A simple dream, but I’m devastated

——

Backstory:

Tristan was my best guy friend from 2007-2016. He gave the best hugs. Gave the best Godly advice. Had the best late night talks. He got me through so much in that almost decade.

Ian was this cool indie kid, Tristan’s brother. He introduced me to so many cool movies and music. He was quiet. We didn’t share too much conversation together, but he was one of those people you just felt at home with.

Their sister passed away in 2015 I think. I sent a letter and chocolates. I wanted to go to the funeral. They lived about 3 hours away. I was with my ex at the time. I couldn’t tell him about it because I couldn’t tell him we talked alone. I said I couldn’t go to the funeral. All those years of Tristan supporting me, the one time I could truly be there for him…and I wasn’t.

Some months later, my ex and I got engaged. Tristan was the first person I told. He was happy at the time. I don’t think anyone saw my ex for what he was at that time. Tristan tried to call me and I didn’t pick up.

The thing was…my ex hated Tristan. When we started dating I made it clear that the majority of my friends were guys. They were long time friends who proved over and over that they were in it for more than just a chance to bang (as he said that’s all they wanted). One night we got into a huge fight over a text from my friend Craig…talking about a concert, innocent. He told me I had to delete every man from my social media. I deleted the ones I was sexual with- that was easy and felt respectful. I really hesitated on a few. Tristan and another friend Matt and Craig were the few I couldn’t delete. This infuriated my ex.

We began having screaming matches over Tristan especially. I begged and bargained. I promised to only talk to Tristan over speaker phone with my ex in the room. It wasn’t good enough. The problem was he saw a text message where I told Tristan “I think he’s threatened by you”

In hindsight, I don’t know that I should have told Tristan that. I’m not sure it was a respectful conversation to have. But my ex wasn’t a respectful man. Now that I’ve experienced a healthy relationship, I know M would never put me in a spot that I’d have to tell a friend something like that because my supports my friendships and encourages me to maintain them.

Fast forward a few more months, I tell my ex that I want Tristan in the wedding. I’d have a maid of honor and a man of honor. Well, obviously that didn’t go over well. That was the loudest he ever yelled at me. That’s what started him going through my phone at will. He had already looked through it several times (thinking I didn’t know). He saw I never deleted Matt or Craig from my phone and that we had still been talking on messenger.

After that, my phone wasn’t my own anymore. He could and did read everything on it. I started deleted my messages daily. I could only talk to people at work. I’d panic when he’d take my phone, worried I didn’t delete something. I told Craig and Matt I didn’t feel comfortable talking to them anymore because of some Christian bullshit about respecting my soon to be husband.

I couldn’t let Tristan go.

I continued to fight with my ex daily now about Tristan. Screaming matches about how Tristan didn’t want to sleep with me, that it was 100% platonic, how many chances we had to be romantic or have sex. None of it mattered.

He admitted to me that he was never okay with me having guy friends, he just said that so I’d keep dating him. (Honestly this was the first time he admitted to lying to me about something that big. That should have been my final red flag…it wasn’t).

About a month later I texted Tristan, I couldn’t call. I was too afraid. I talked to my mom who agreed that staying friends with Tristan could “look evil.” Another Christian bullshit belief “stay away from the appearance of evil” that one on one with Tristan could look like I was cheating. At that point I wasn’t even asking for one on one time.

So I texted him “out of respect for my fiancé, I cannot continue our friendship. I prayed about it and feel that it is best we stop talking.” And some more details. Tristan tried to call me. I was hysterically crying on my moms bed. I didn’t want to talk.

I wish I had picked up that damn phone.

Tristan texted me something like “I hope you see one day that he is abusing you, that he is controlling you. This really hurts me”

And deep down I knew he was right. I wasn’t ready to admit it.

—-

Fast forward to 2019. I am divorced. I reach out to Tristan who agrees to read a letter (like snail mail). He says he is not comfortable with texting or messaging. I respect that.

At that time I still wasn’t ready to admit what all happened. I just apologized for not being there when he needed me and that I wanted to talk, get to know him again, have another chance at supporting him.

He was respectful. Said he did not want further communication. That I DID leave him in the moment he needed me most. He said he is different after his sister passed. Less willing to be the unlimited forgiver and no longer surrounding himself with one sided friendships.

I told him if he ever changed his mind, The door will always be open on my side.

To be honest, the one sided friendship may have been accurate. I’m not sure. He did give a lot emotionally to me. I was never quite in a spot to give as much back.

I think I’m better at friendships these days. I’m more there for my friends now that I’m older and more mature. We all are.

This was the first dream where he’s started to forgive me, or at least try to work on things with me.

I’ve debated for years about reaching back out. It’s been 3 years now. I’m torn between respecting his line of “I don’t want to rebuild the friendship” and wanting to send another letter because….I’m a different person now too. I went through hell and back and I’m finally at a point where I see really clearly how much of an abuser my ex was and the consequences that had.

I cut Tristan out for survival. It doesn’t make it right. It lessened the fights. There were other things to fight about of course, but none ever matched the intensity of those fights. Nothing else made him snatch my phone out of my hands like that. Nothing else ever made him monitor me so closely. He was VERY intimidated by Tristan. And I felt I had to succumb to that to stay safe. Leaving doesn’t feel like an option when you’re in the middle of abuse.

—-

Maybe Tristan and I would be way too different from each other now. I’ve seen my other college classmates tho and most of us have grown away from the Christian bullshit. Maybe he did the same. He supports my friends who have come out as lgbt+ though. So I’d like to think he followed the same spiritual path as I have. Maybe he’s still a Christian, maybe not.

Id give anything to have one more conversation with him. One more really good hug. At the least, I wish our friendship could have officially ended in person, with the chance to give both our sides.

I hate dreaming about Tristan.

[karatechick1984-blog]

You'll Walk Alone - 001

Vampires are real.

I know. Trust me. I get it.

I didn’t want to believe it either. But I wasn’t given a choice.

I saw the brutal clarity of their existence first hand. My chance to ponder the possibilities of vampires was crushed, torn out and severed, like my sisters throat.

I wasn’t a stranger to unexpected, Earth shattering news. I felt that first wave of mental shrapnel at the age of ten, when my father died. It was deemed an accident and I was too young to know what questions to ask. The hows, the whys. The only clear memory is my mom, voice soft, empty, forever ringing in my head.

“Val, Cara, something’s happened.”

The rest of my memories of that time are vague. I just remember that it hurt; my head, my heart, everything. That I was scared, not understanding, or not accepting the fact that my dad was never coming home, that he was gone. Through everything though, all the confusion, fear and pain, I had my mom and my sister, Cara by my side. Together, we promised each other that we would always be there. We would be together until the end.

My mom’s promise died with her. Ten years after my dad. She was coming home from a shift, working doubles to support us as best she could. Someone was speeding, ran a red light. Cara and I were told it was instantaneous. That she didn’t feel a thing. We didn’t question. We knew it was all probably a lie. But sometimes you keep things quiet, trapped up inside yourself, to scream it out later. Shattered, broken, Cara and I made the promise again, knowing that we couldn’t keep it but we’d be damned if we didn’t try.

And we did try. We tried so hard. Even though we worked, day and night to provide for one another, we were together. Even though all dreams and visions of our futures became vague and opaque, we were together. Even though the world went on spinning, breaking news of the existence of vampires came and went, Cara and I were so focused on everything else, work, rent, bills, that the story of the Century was barely a blip on our radar.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I understood that vampires were out there. But I never really thought I’d come face to to face with one. Forgive the ridiculous analogy but it’s like the existence of blue lobsters. You know they’re out there, you’ve even seen photos but you never actually think you’ll see one in the flesh.

My brain understood and accepted it but I didn’t waste any mental energy dwelling. The existence of vampires was as unimportant to me as the most recent celebrity gossip. I shrugged it away with nonchalance, confident that it would never affect me.

This is one of those times where I have to laugh to keep from crying. It had been a rare night of spontaneity. After work Cara and I decided we deserved a bit of fun. Since our entire lives were one endless cycle of work, eat, bills, sleep; we came to the decision that it was high time we did something out of the ordinary, break up the vicious monotony of existence. We saw a movie, we went to dinner and we walked back to the Government Center T Stop, our breath and laughter misting in the crisp autumn air. It was like we used to do when our mom was alive. It was something normal, something predictable, something safe.

We’d hurried down the stairs to the Blue Line platform and made our way to our usual spot. Close enough to the tunnel to guarantee an empty train car and possibly a seat but far enough away that the MBTA police wouldn’t care. Sometimes if you were standing too close to a tunnel at a station, the T police would usher you away with mutters about restricted areas. Bostonian knew you weren’t supposed to stand near the tunnels but everybody did it. It’s kind of like jaywalking. It’s technically illegal but you’re probably not going to get arrested for it.

It was quiet. I remember that, so vividly. It was almost like Cara and I were the only two people in the entire world.

I had been putting my wallet back in my bag and so I hadn’t been looking. I hadn’t been paying attention. Cara had been talking — to this day I wish I could remember what about. I still feel guilty sometimes, when I let myself think, wondering if Cara will begrudge me the fact that I don’t remember her last words with any clarity. I hope she knows and understands that I can’t remember what she was saying because when I looked up, she was dead.

I remember blood…so much blood.

I remember screaming. Not a high-pitched shriek of terror but a guttural, heart-wrenching roar. The raging chaos of my worst fears made physical.

And then, there was pain. It was a pain that was endless. A pain that burned through my veins like lightening. A pain so deep and so horrible that it makes me nauseous to think of it, even now.

My brain kind of shut off after that. I woke up in the hospital.

[ashasmonsters]

Hi could you maybe write a male werewolf x male reader, you can decide on the plot

Hey anon, thanks for being patient! I love werewolves and writing male readers, so I hope you like it too. I've also messed around and made some header art for you. Enjoy!

M!Werewolf x M!Reader - Lime

As the sun started to set, you worked in the small forest clearing to set up your digs for the night. Some things were still here from your last visit: a pile of cushions covered by a tarp, an old hurricane style lantern, and a folded-up lean-to style tent. It felt like a second home to you, especially as the smell of dirt and pine filled the air. You would have taken more time to enjoy the peace, but the sun was sinking lower into the horizon by the minute.

You tossed aside the tarp and arranged the cushions into a nest, put fuel in the lantern, and started pitching the tent’s poles into the soft earth. A few hammered stakes and taut cords later, the tent was up properly except for a side panel, which you intentionally left open. This way, the sounds and smells of the forest would be right there with you as you slept, and you wouldn’t have to fiddle with getting in or out of a zipper-fastened door. After all, you never worried for your safety when you were out here; you had Oskar.

He crested the rise in the trail just as you were putting the finishing touches on your camp. While you had come with a backpack with snacks, a battery bank for your phone, water bottles, and your sleeping bag, Oskar came with only the clothes on his back. He looked tired, and despite shaving every day, he had the stubble of several days on his face.

“You really don’t have to do this for me every time,” he said, looking at the setup around him. “It’s just one night. I’d be fine on my own, honest.”

“I’m sure you’d be fine, but I want you to be comfortable, too.” You smiled at him, watching the last few rays of sunlight shine through the edges of his raven-colored hair. “I’d hate to see you go through something so rough alone. Besides, I need to get out of the house every once in a while.”

“Well… thanks.” He took off his flannel shirt and handed it to you. “You’re the best boyfriend ever.”

“No, you’re the best boyfriend ever.” You asserted, folding his shirt into a neat square. “Now get comfortable while we still have time.”

A moment later, you were sitting in your nest of cushions with the hurricane lantern casting gentle warmth around the clearing. The sound of rustling fabric came from the tent, then Oskar emerged from it without a stitch of clothing on him.

“Don’t worry, I folded everything up for you.” He closed the distance between the tent and your resting spot in the cushions, giving you ample time to admire his muscular physique. The flickering lantern flame showed the beginnings of the shift already taking hold; his normally sparse body hair was starting to cover him everywhere, and the bags under his eyes betrayed his cheery demeanor.

“Just come here and rest for a bit,” you suggested softly. He stepped over the outer ring of pillows and cushions, arriving at your side and lying down next to you, where you sat cross-legged. He rested his head on your thigh and took deep breaths. “Want a snack before you go?” You asked.

“No, I’ll just catch something while I’m out.” He stretched and groaned, no doubt trying to soothe his sore muscles.

“Alright, but don’t catch anything too big. Save some room for pancakes tomorrow morning.”

“Pancakes? Now I’m wishing I didn’t have to deal with this dumb ‘Shifting’ stuff,” He joked through gritted teeth, even as the pain was clearly setting in. You just rested a hand on his back, massaging his muscles as they bulged and surged in a way that was quite disconcerting to you the first time. Now, all you had in mind was your boyfriend’s comfort.

His form started to change in earnest now, completely covered in coarse fur in a matter of seconds while the skin underneath roiled and expanded. He started to groan, his teeth grit and tears slowly beading in his eyes.

“Shh…” you reassured him, his pain making your heart ache. “This is the worst of it. You’re doing fine. You’re almost done.” Your hand that rested on his back was being pulled away from you as he began to grow in size. Your hand trailed over his fur as he gradually pulled away from you, moving from his back, to his shoulder, and now to his forearm. You wished you could hold his hand, but claws replaced them faster than you could notice: another thing you learned during Oskar’s first Shift with you around.

Before you knew it, there was a snout resting in your lap. His long tongue felt around his newly-formed rows of sharp teeth, and small droplets of his saliva dotted your jeans. At last, his body settled and stopped quaking, and his breathing went from labored to regular. Having tripled in size, his bodyweight weighed heavily on you as he rested there.

“Alright, Oskar, now that you’re feeling better,” you huffed, his weight on your lap becoming uncomfortable, “it’s time to get up.”

The werewolf in your lap complied, granting you some relief as he lifted himself up on all fours. His eyes, glowing in the light of the lantern, met yours. He circled your island of cushions, getting accustomed to the feeling of his paws on dirt.

“Are you feeling good? Ready to run?” You said, your voice practically a whisper. His hearing would be extremely sensitive right now. Your werewolf nodded back at you, his head bobbing more diagonally than straight up and down. Human gestures were hard when your skeleton had just Shifted minutes prior.

“Come here, big guy.” You stood and met him on the dirt, bringing his entire head into a hug. You ran your hands along his neck fur, petting him as he rumbled into your chest, his heartbeat pounding like a drum. “I love you. Go run. Catch something good to eat, too.” He half-nodded again as you pulled away from him. You made your way over to the tent and started to set up with your sleeping bag, phone charger, and snacks, when you noticed Oskar lingering.

His paws bounced on the dirt, showing how eager he was to bolt into the night… but he stayed. He looked at you, then at the trail returning back to town.

“I’m fine, Oskar. I’ll stay here. Just be back by morning, okay?”

Another half-nod, but this time with a shred of reluctance. He turned away, looking at you one last time before he trotted into the trees, disappearing from the reach of the lantern’s warm glow. As you got inside your sleeping bag, you smiled as you imagined him bounding through the forest at his full speed, stretching his muscles and exercising his new, temporary form. He always said that sprinting through the forest for the first time after Shifting felt like scratching an itch you couldn’t reach—multiplied by a billion. You hoped so; it was the least he deserved after going through the rigors of Shifting.

You reclined in your tent, your phone ready to play music and let you float off to sleep, but you hadn’t put your earbuds in, yet. You waited, and waited some more… until you heard the howl pierce the night. Birds, startled out of their roosts, took to the sky, and distant hoofbeats of deer fled from Oskar’s instinctive call.

Perhaps it was a bad night to be a forest creature, but it was a lovely night for a camper like you—and an even better night to be your boyfriend, bounding through the night under the light of a full moon.

[thebatfamfanatic]

Six Times He Met Her

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, guy taking advantage of a minor in first chap, mention of underage smut in fourth chap, making out?, violence, mentions of blood/injury, main character death, adult language, angst

A/N: First thing I’ve written on Tumblr!! Tell me if anybody likes it, or if I broke your heart. And yes, I know I’m evil.

1-

The first time he saw you was around 2:30 in the morning. Jason was squatting on the edge of a rooftop in Gotham, surveying the dark scenery below him.

Somehow, there was still plenty of traffic on the dirty streets, plenty of cars honking and driving around. Jason always wondered who the fuck needed to be somewhere at 2 am.

He fiddled with a loose seam on the Robin uniform he sported each night, hunting down the assholes of Gotham (pretty much 70% of the city) and putting them in jail, where they belonged.

At 16, Jason Todd technically should have been in bed, maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and doing some rich kid shit during the day. Of course, his adoptive (long story) father, Bruce Wayne, richest playboy in Gotham, employed him to be his little tweety bird sidekick at night, so here he was, at the rendezvous watching the streets. yay. A scream came from an alley nearby. Jason stood, stretched his legs, and leaped down from the roof onto the ground. He pinpointed the alleyway where the noise was coming from and raced into it. A girl, about his age, had been cornered by some bitch dude who thought he could take advantage of this girl. Not on Robin’s watch.

Before the girl could scream again, the guy was on the ground and Jason was helping her up. She shakily took the hand he offered her and looked him in the eye. Shit, she had gorgeous eyes. Jason froze for a second, lost in her beauty, before clearing in his throat.

“Hi. I’m Robin, uh, you probably knew that. Are you okay, ma’am?”

He hated the squeak that came out of his mouth. He sounded like a fucking 5 year old. The girl raised her eyebrow. She had recovered rather quickly. “You don’t have to call me ma’am. I’m not some rich-ass royal whatever from Britain.” Jason liked this one. Sassy, but just so. He inquired where she lived, and she gave him the address. With his grappling hook at the ready, Jason pulled her closer to him. She jumped at the sudden closeness, but seemed to enjoy it. Maybe? He didn’t know shit about girls.

Jason shot the hook, propelling them up in the air, and landed on a rooftop. They continued this routine until he got in front of her house. It was still several seconds before he released her waist.

She started to walk towards her door, before stopping.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Sorry, what?” Jason blinked.

“I thought you were smart, Robin. Its my name, dumb ass.”

Then Y/N disappeared into her house. Jason stood there foolishly outside on her front lawn for a while, thinking about the girl he had just met. She was unlike anyone he had ever met, and he realized 10 minutes later that he had forgotten to ask about where her family was and everything.

Oh well. Bruce would be expecting him anyways. Jason shot his grappling hook and started home, still dazed from the encounter.

2-

The second time you guys met was two weeks later. Jason was just Jason Todd, a normal 10th grader living in the shadow of his (adopted) older brother Dick Grayson. Nobody paid much attention to him, and he didn’t really mind. Mostly Jason focused on getting A’s in class and then retreating into the library until Golden Boy’s after school clubs were over.

That is, until you walked in. It sounded as if you had just moved here, and for a minute, Jason felt a little sorry for you. I mean, Gotham wasn’t the greatest place to spend high school, or any grade, in his opinion.

You looked at your schedule from across the hall and then up at the locker next to him. For a second, your eyes met his and Jason was content. Lost in those brilliant colors. And then you looked away and started walking towards him. He realized just in time maybe he should stop leaning over your locker as you stopped next to him.

“Hi. Y/N. Just moved here. Looks like we’re locker neighbors.”

Jason was about to reply with “I know” but restrained himself. “Jason. Nice to meet you. Congrats on moving to this shitshow.”

He managed to not grin like an idiot as you laughed. The sound was music to his ears, like beautiful bells. God, he was being sappy.

“It’s not much of a shitshow when you’re here.” Ooh, she flirts too. Jason smirked as you opened your locker and dumped your stuff inside, pulling out the things you needed for your first class.

The first bell shrieked just as you closed your locker. “See you around, Jason.”

The small smile you gave him made his day, and he almost forgot to get to class. Yes, you were certainly one of a kind, and yes, Jason wanted you. The question was how to get to that point.

3-

You guys had a couple classes together, and frequently sat at the same table during lunch, so it wasn’t long before you were quick friends with Jason. However, the next notable time you met was a little while after he got your number.

Jason was laying on his bed, scrolling mindlessly through Tumblr as he thought about ways to ask you out.

Y/N, would you grant me the honor of going out with me? No, too Romeo and Juliet.

Hey, want to grab ice cream? He had to make it clear what his intentions were. Then it wouldn’t be weird if he kissed you, right?

Oh, god, if he fucking kissed you….what would that be like? Before Jason could start fantasizing, his fingers were flying across the keyboard and he had sent a text to you. What did he do, what did he-

Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to see that new movie this weekend. It seems like something you would enjoy.

Hm. That was actually pretty good. Where did he come up with that?

Jason had just started inspecting his fingers for some kind of sign of being possessed by smooth-with-girls-syndrome when you responded. He looked up and read it quickly.

Sure, I’d love that! Thanks for thinking of me ❤️

A heart. You had put a heart at the end of it. Did that mean you knew it was a date?

Jason sighed. He certainly hoped so.

4-

The weekend date went good. By the end of it, Jason was sure you knew it was a date. The second one passed, and then the third. The third one was when you hesitantly pecked him on the cheek. The fourth was when he kissed you actually. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was just enough for him to take you on a fourth date. An actual “will you go out with me on a date” kind of thing.

He took you to a restaurant in the fancy part of things. You two ate food that two broke 16 year olds technically shouldn’t have been able to afford, but Bruce helped Jason out.

Jason drove you home afterwards and discussed the topic of the upcoming summer during the car ride. What you were doing, where he was going. The entire time, Jason had butterflies in his stomach. He wasn’t sure how to act. Was he messing it all up, or were you actually into him?

Once he parked in front of your house and walked you up to the stoop, you looked at him. He noticed you were biting your lip nervously, and god, why did he think that was so hot? “My parents aren’t home.” It was the softest Jason had ever heard you speak, but he knew what you meant. He smiled gently, and kissed you again. This one was destined to last longer, and before either of you realized it, you had opened your door and you were leading him to your bedroom.

That night was one neither of you would forget, and by the end of it, Jason had officially asked out successfully.

5-

You and Jason spent a lot of time together after that. You met his older brother, Dick (who was very happy for Jason, too happy in his opinion) and his dad, Bruce Wayne. Bruce was cool, but very busy all the time.

By two months, Jason still hadn’t told you his identity as Robin, and he was running out of excuses. One day, you confronted him, assuming he was cheating on you. He tried everything, but he had to go out on patrol.

Jason left that night assuming you were broken up. The entire patrol, he wasn’t himself. Truth was, he loved you so much he was afraid of losing you. That had become his greatest fear. It was that night everything went wrong.

6-

You were out taking a late night walk. Down by the pier, a cold wind was blowing, and as you walked past warehouse after warehouse, you pulled your coat tighter.

You were affected as well, and confused about where you and your boyfriend stood. Did you guys just breakup? Did he love you? Did–

A scream echoed from one of the warehouses. You turned, afraid of stepping closer but afraid of leaving the person. Eventually, your curiosity won over and you climbed up several crates to peer into the window.

What you saw inside almost made you scream yourself. Robin, the hero everybody talked about, lay defenseless and bloody on the ground as a tall man-the Joker- whacked him over and over again with a crowbar.

You gasped, wanting to help, but you knew that would be foolish. You would just get in the way for a minute. Tears started to form in your eyes as Robin weakly cried out from the pain. He looked so…helpless.

Joker relentlessly beat him with the crowbar, and Robin’s mask began to come off. You rubbed the tears from your eyes just as the mask fell to the ground.

“No.” was the only thing that you could muster. Jason lay on the ground in the bloody Robin suit. Jason fucking Todd. There was your boyfriend, being beaten to death by the asshole of all assholes. That was why he kept disappearing at night, because he fucking protected the city!

You were mad at yourself for being so cruel to Jason without knowing what was really going on. You barely paid attention as Batman and Nightwing suddenly burst through the windows.

Joker laughed, and said something you couldn’t hear from the outside. Probably taunting Batman as he watched his apprentice get beat to death.

A fight broke out, Batman lunging at Joker as Nightwing rushed to Jason, laying broken on the ground. You had just enough time to duck as a Batarang came swooping out of the hands of the Caped Crusader and straight through the window you were looking through.

It was then you realized how close Jason was to death, and what you needed to do. The window pricked your jacket as you jumped through it, but you didn’t care. Gymnastics back in 6th grade helped when you landed awkwardly. Nightwing spun around, and it wasn’t hard to figure out that was Dick, which meant Bruce was Batman.

However, none of that mattered when Jason was half dead in front of you. Nightwing- Dick- made no effort to stop you as you knelt in front of Jason. “No, no, no.” You cradled his head in your hands, trying hard not to recognize how limp his body was, and how his chest barely moved as he struggled to breathe.

Jason’s eyes were closed, tears running down his face silently. You were crying as well, mumbling curses and things that made no sense.

“Please, don’t be dead. Please, I-I love you.”

You watched Jason make no acknowledgement he could hear you, watched him breathe once more. His chest rose and never fell.

You screamed and buried your head in his costume, not caring about getting blood on your face. Dick pulled you away wordlessly, out of the warehouse. You barely registered that the warehouse exploded behind you a few seconds later.

Dick let you sob into his shoulder for what seemed like hours. Him and Bruce exchanged a short conversation, both riddled with grief.

Six times you and Jason had met, and that was the last.