#and it’s completely normal for this to happen 🙃 I hate it 🙃 I want my pain free cycles back 🙃

[harmonizewithechoes]

.

[shigarakisslutbag]

Also I don't trust anyone that thinks shigaraki is an entirely hateful character. Like yes, he's obviously hateful towards a lot of things LOL. But he's shown he cares for those that support him multiple times

He just doesn't show it in the way I think people *expect* him to. But he cares quite a lot. I find it even more endearing that it's clear that he cares for the members of the league without having to say it. We LOVE a king who knows actions speak better than words.

I also really don't think he's incapable of having a partner? A lot of people would say it's out of character (which would be true for earlier seasons maybe?), but I think the reason he doesn't have any feelings like that for people is

1.) he had no idea of what a good relationship looked like growing up. he was 5 when everything happened. And even if he didn't accidentally kill his family?? His dad was abusive and emotionally unavailable. If he had led a "normal" life, it would've been incredibly hard to unlearn what he was taught love was. I think his mom would've been the only reason, if she were alive, that he would know what love and connection felt like, had they not died.

2.) no one (to my knowledge. I haven't read the manga), has really complimented him. Told him he was pretty. Said they were proud. Even if someone did compliment him looks wise, no one has pointed out good qualities he has (at least up until the league regarding positive traits he has (personality, leadership qualities, intelligence). And even then, one of the first things he heard from dabi was an insult to his face. I love dabi but that still makes my eye twitch 🙃)

I'm not saying praise, validation, or compliments would fix everything. But ohmygod. If someone would just be genuine and tell him that they believe and support his successes, or listen and talk to him like a human, it'd probably send him into a different, slightly healthier mindset.

One reason I absolutely love the friendship/relationship between spinner and shigaraki. He just needs some verbal support and someone who listens (me too LOL). He deserves so much idc. No just spinner either.

I'm a shigaraki supporter first, and a human second🙂‍↕️. Also I do apologize if some of my I formation doesn't seem very correct, it's been a while since I've watched it, and I do not read the manga 🥲. Even if some of my facts don't stand though, I am a very firm believer that with more attention or someone completely loyal, would make him happy. I mean it was pretty much proved he loved attention and wanted supporters more than anything in season 2(?) I think. Anyways, I love my boy. If shigaraki has no supporters, I'm deceased LMAO

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Love Song for a Vampire Pt. 30

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Jacob Black x Bella Swan, Jacob Black x Witch!OC, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan

Warnings:none

Words:1987

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34  Part 35  Part 36  Part 37  Part 38  Part 39

The ending didn’t come out like it did the first time I typed this up but it’s close to the original I had worked on last night 🙃

Shocked wasn’t enough to describe the jolt Jacob received when he opened his front door and found Bella. The last bit of hope that imprinting on the witch had just been a dream was quickly eliminated. Standing before him was the love of his life, yet he didn’t feel that same giddiness he once felt with Bella’s presence. That terrified him more than anything; how quickly imprinting changed one’s life.

Behind her on the dirt driveway was a small, tan car. Probably here replacement for her red truck that was totaled when Riley took her. Late in the day, the sky is already casting the world in a pink and orange haze.“Sorry to show up unannounced.” He can tell Bella immediately wanted to nervously chew on her bottom lip as she was prone to do but stopped herself. Subtle changes could be seen on her. She’d been spending time reflecting on herself and really thinking of what she wants in life.

“No, it’s okay.” Jacob steps aside to let her in. Bella hesitated for a heartbeat before walking through. I guess it has been a while since she’s come over.

They go to his room which feel so small now that there was another person occupying it.

He hated this strange feeling. It made him not know how to act in front of her. Like she was a complete stranger to him now and not the girl he'd been mooning over for years. Jacob watches her in a queer way as she perched herself on the edge of his bed. "How has the pack been?"

"Good. (y/n) and Edward left with the Denali couple to drive them back to Alaska." He noticed the flash of momentary hurt on Bella's face before she regains composure and nods.

"I remember them saying they'd be leaving soon." They hadn't spoken about her meeting with them. Jacob had been too focused on what was happening with him and how, even though he was in his human skin, he could still smell Evita's citrus scent that beckoned him to go to Sam's. The alpha had warned Jacob though about scaring her off before she was able to finish the wards that was to protect them from hostile creatures.

“They left last night and should be back in a few hours from the text she sent to our group chat.” Jacob shrugs. “

At that, Bella actually smiles. “I wouldn’t doubt it. Edward drives really fast. Even Alice does too. It must be a vampire thing.”

He tried to think of something else to say, anything to make his life feel normal again. There had been nothing normal about his life though. His mouth was dry and tongue heavy. How could he go on pretending everything was okay? Not to mention he couldn’t imagine how Bella would feel once she learned that another guy who she deeply cared about was taken because of imprinting once again. Her wounds were still healing from her breakup with Edward. It would crush Bella. Jacob may have imprinted on Evita, but he still cared for her greatly. Just not romantically, not anymore.

By the blessing of those above, a tremor in the air gripped Jacob and Bella. The hairs on the back of her neck stand at the tingling that was rushing through her. “Wh. . . What is that?”

The strong aroma of orange blossoms fills his nostril.

Evita.

This had to be Evita’s magic swirling in the air. It riled up the wolf in him, making Jacob want to spring into action. Were it not for Bella being present, he might have leapt through his window and run to Sam’s house where he knew the witch was staying for the meantime.

Underneath his skin, the animal trembled and agitated him from the inside where he felt uncomfortable in his human flesh.

Inhaling deeply, Jacob closed his eyes to steady his breathing which had quickened. “Magic.”

Bella does a double take. “Magic?”

He stumbles over his words but manages to get Bella up to date on what had been going on in La Push. Even Jacob felt silly about the things he said out loud to her, all of this sounded so unreal yet that’s what his life had become.

The air was still fluctuating with that sharp orange smell and Jacob could spot goosebumps rising on Bella’s arms as an after effect to nearby magic.

“Can I meet her?”

“You want to meet her?” Yes, a reason to see Evita! His wolf rejoiced that he’d finally be able to be near her again despite Jacob’s efforts to ignore it.

Bella doesn’t waver. “Yes. If she’s here to protect the town then I feel like I owe it to her to introduce myself. This. . . This is my fault after all.”

“Stop saying that.” Jacob hated how she pinned the blame of all of the events that had led up to Evita’s arrival. “It’s not you’re fault. Something like this was bound to happen ever since the Cullens came to town decades ago.

“Regardless,” Bella sighed. “I want to meet her.”

That’s how they end up in Bella’s tan Corolla, the small car sped through the empty streets of La Push to get to Sam’s cabin. The drive was overall quiet considering both of them were off in their own little worlds; questioning what they had felt in his room when Evita’s magic swept up their senses into a flurry. The wolf’s eagerness to be near it’s mate was unfathomable as Jacob felt his hands beading with perspiration.

He wasn’t ready to see Evita. Not yet.There was no way Jacob could trust himself to keep his imprinting a secret from Bella if Evita is near.

And Bella, her skin still hadn’t stopped shivering with an odd delight; the back of her neck continued to tingle through her neck and spine. She couldn’t begin to describe the experience. Jacob had called it magic.

The drive didn’t take long, Jacob and Bella were great up for that as Bella’s car pulled to a stop in front of Sam’s cabin. Excited chatter could be heard streaming through from the inside of the house.

Bella gets out of the car first allowing Jacob a few seconds to himself to calm the roaring wave of his heartbeat.

Breathing in a deep inhale, Jacob unbuckles his belt and pushed open the car door.

Smoke from Sam’s chimney twirls out in long ribbons against the mystical color pallet that sunsets are composed of.

From a fluttering curtain in a window, a face briefly appeared and spotted the two of them as they walk up to Sam’s porch. In but a few seconds does Paul open the door to great them. His eyes narrow with caution that confused Bella. Instantly a tension spoiled the air and the house grew quiet.

“Jacob. Bella.” Paul casually greeted but there was a strain to his voice. “Fancy seeing you guys here.”

“We came here to see Evita’s witchcraft.” Jacob is quick to say, hopeful that Paul would buy the reason for it was true.

“We felt the aftershocks and I asked Jacob to take me to meet her.” Explained Bella.

That made Paul’s eyes round. “Aftershocks?”

Sam appeared behind him. “Come in.” He merely instructed and had Paul step aside. “Jacob, stay in the back with me.”

Sam’s living room was crowded with other members of the pack and was wholly transformed into a candlelit space for witchcraft. His usual furniture was gone and in their place were an array of strange and arcane objects. The light from the fireplace made shadows flicker against the walls and distort the shadowy figures of those present.

Everyone leaned in yet kept themselves from straying too far into the circle that Evita had made on the ground.

A small bowl of herbs are slowly catching ablaze by the beckoning of her foreign words. Bella saw with her own eyes a river stone crumble all by itself into fine dust that is carried on an invisible wind and into Evita’s clasped hands. The delicate skin of her wrists appear paper thin as even Bella could see the many lines and rivers of her veins. They looked like they were made of lightening as they burned from under her skin.

Her lips move rapidly in her incantation, and as her words carried into the room, the energy shifted. Candlelight made the dark sway.

Entranced were the rest of the pack as they held their breathing, taking in the wondrous sight before them.

More sharp spices fill the air along with Evita’s citrus scent.

Jacob couldn’t tear his eyes off of her wild and flying curls that whip around her face that was lined with painful looking scars. To Jacob though, the dark scars that run along her face accentuate her fine cheekbones and full lips. A spatter of freckles add to her charm.

The wild wind of energy that had been swirling around her seem to fall away. Time itself felt like it froze.

Multiple breaths that had been held in up until that point exhale with an edge of relief. Her spell was complete.

When the candles are blown out by the dying breath of her magic, Sam slowly turns on the electronic lights of his house. Sitting in the middle of the living room was a pale Evita. Slowly she removes her top hand to reveal an object the size of a quarter and equally flat.

The color of it was the glittering shade of emerald. A warmth eminated from it.

Weary from her efforts, Evita explained with a tired voice “I have five more of these to make. They are to be distributed throughout Forks and La Push. The ward is this small so that it won’t be easily spotted by your enemies. We must bury them at six specific points. About a foot into the ground.” She passed it to Jared who held it with reverence. The ward made it’s way around the pack as they ‘ooed’ and ‘awwed’.

Leah and Seth gather around Evita to help her up and into Sam’s bedroom where she was regain her strength.

Jacob followed the trio with his eyes, unable to follow them thanks to Sam.

While Bella hadn’t been able to be properly introduced to Evita, the visit had been worthwhile. She’d never imagined that magic would look quite like that or that it would feel so intense.

When everyone had a chance to examine the ward, Paul snatched it from Collin’s hands. “This is to be put somewhere with the highest security. This may not look like much but it is essential if we want to keep our territory safe.”

This was not fun and games.

Sam put a hand on Jacob’s shoulder, alerting him it was time for him to go. “She’ll be alright. She warned me ahead of time that this would take a toll on her energy. Proper sleep and food will do her good.”

If Sam hadn’t been Jacob’s alpha, who knows what he would have done. Any other wolf would consider Sam’s posturing as getting in between Jacob and his mate. Hell hath no fury like a wolf being kept apart from their imprintee.

Jacob was still experiencing a heady daze and thankfully didn’t put up much of a fight as he taps Bella’s arm to get her attention. She was still staring at where Evita had been creating her ward.

The simple physical contact coaxed her back to her senses and they slink to the front door. Both too stunned to utter a parting word to anyone.

Bella didn’t know how long they’d been there, but instead of the fuchsia clouds that were highlighted with orange there was now a vast sky filled with stars.

Stars were dull though in comparison to the headlights on Edward’s car that shined right at them.

——

Names that are in bold are ones I can’t tag for some reason

TAGLIST: @saltedcoffeescotch , @dangerouslittlefairy , @burn-crash-rqmance , @casedoina , @avadakadabra93 , @daryldixonstorm , @blue-aconite , @xanniestired666 , @esposadomd, @godinho11 , @arin-swear-rose , @alexizodd , @melaninsugarbaby , @lyeatoalinatoheaven , @ronwownsme , @itsmytimetoodream , @afro-hispwriter , @mutandis-extremis993 , @hxgemxscles , @nightly-polaris , @corrodedcoffins-slut , @ellesalazar , @itgetzweird08 , @crybabyatthediscooffandoms , @sassyandclassyx , @scarlet2007 , @theroyalbrownbarbie , @jennyamanda8 , @stevenandmarcslove , @biancaindaeyo , @loversjoy , @turningtoclown , @vixorell , @xxthackerybinxxx , @daredevilonmyheels , @dumbbitch-juice , @southern-bell-give-hell , @nat-the-gemini , @imdoingathingmomgmom , @emmettcullenswife , @yoong1c0re , @daddykylokenobi , @minjix

[kittykatkatelol2]

"Break" Jegulus Oneshot

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: break)

Warning: bad gender dysphoria

-

Regulus watched as the people outside ran about and threw water balloons at each other, spraying each other with water.

He felt like sobbing.

Regulus looked down at his oh-so-noticeable chest - tits as Sirius called them. No matter the name, they were still there.

And boy did Regulus hate them. How he wanted nothing more than to rip them off and just be done with them.

"Oh why couldn't I just have been born a guy.. why.. why couldn't I be normal.."

Tears started to flow down Regulus's face as he watched his friends outside with the Marauders.

Watched James.

He loved James to death but.. but god he was jealous.

Jealous of the way he could freely take his shirt off, no 'tits' to get in the way.

Jealous of the way his voice was naturally deep and perfect.

Jealous of his male body, of his adam's apple, of his everything that Regulus could never see himself having in a body like this.

It didn't take long for Regulus to break.

Sitting on the floor, his arms around his legs and his face buried in his knees, tears pouring from his eyes as he sobbed - albeit, much louder than Regulus intended to - wishing for nothing more than to be a boy.

That's all he ever wanted: to be a boy.

Regulus reluctantly removed his head from his knees and looked at the mirror across from him. He hadn't looked in one in forever because the dysphoria was so bad.

He saw what he knew he would see, and it made his skin crawl.

A bump under his clothes where his 'tits' were that the binder couldn't quite hide, a soft rounded face of a woman's- basically a woman trying very horribly at cosplaying as a boy.

Regulus quickly looked away and buried his head back in his knees, his sobbing even harder.

He wished his sun would just come in and try and comfort him.

But James would never be able to properly comfort Regulus; for James had what Regulus always wanted, with no way to ever give him what he needed so bad.

Regulus would always love James, always, but he couldn't help but also hate James, purely over something neither could control, and that just made Regulus feel worse.

"I only have to wait a few more hours.. then I can leave.."

Regulus had never felt so broken, and there was nothing anyone could do to fix him.

-

[Word count: 394]

[A/N: Fun fact (or not so fun), this is completely based of smth that happened to me yesterday 🙃 so yeah I be 100% Reggie-]

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 6 !!!

Y'all it's getting super close omg we're in feb now 🙃 lets goooo

Bad Batch 1x02

Tech piloting +10 points

I'll never get tired of Wrecker and Omega napping together 🥺

Echo and Hunter mom and dad 💕

our lil bby Omega stepping into the sun !!! soaking up the fresh air and playing in the dirt !!! I am going to sob 😭😭😭

"That would be dirt" ~ Tech 🤣

Tech: "we're all deserters now" Echo: 😮

Hunter stopping Omega from walking into the booby trap

vs Wrecker 2 seconds later...

SUU MY QUEEN 👑💕

Wrecker is eating a meiloorun 👀 watch out buddy Hera's coming for u

Hello yes who do I talk to about getting a Cut Suu & the batch history/flashback/how they met story time anything pretty please

Rex mention 👀

Tech 🤝 Omega casually dropping the biggest plot points like it's nbd

Omega meeting other kids that don't share her dna 🥲

"Uncle Wrecker!" I am totally normal about this

HER CHECKING BACK WITH HUNTER FOR PERMISSION 😭

ok but are we just gonna ignore the fact that Shaeeah looks completely different to tcw ??

Cut knows what's up with the Kaminoans 👀

Cut also knows what's up putting Hunter in his civvie clothes don't come @ me

Rampart 🤢

"Omega went out past the fence!" *bad batch enters dad batch mode* 🏃‍♂️💨

Cut is the daddest of the batch tho 🥺 he's parenting all of them

THEIR FACES WATCHING CUT WITH OMEGA I CANT 😭

For some reason Hunter is the same height as Wrecker in this scene ??? lmao

Omega taking her lil charm out of her hair 🥲

"Almost forgot how good of a shot you are" ~ Hunter @ Suu !! okay backstory PLEASE

Echo complaing about the imperial chaincode database vs Tech "it's ingenious" lmaooo

Hunter has the braincell rn

bro Hunter is literally growling at Tech for putting Omega in danger 👀 are we ready for his completely unhinged s3 arc??

Tech, Echo: 😳😬 Omega: 👋😁

Echo peeking from the roof !!

Tech's flip !!!

Tech catching Omega !!!!!!!

Echo mom put Omega in time out 😞

Echo's scomp skills have grown sm 🥲

the way he balances the chain codes on his scomp hand 🥺

Y'ALL I FORGOT! I'm also doing a 'Wrecker hits his head count' for the first part of s1 and a different count for s2 later 👀 but we'll get to that hehe I hate it! anyway!!

Wrecker hits his head count: 2

(he bonked it on a pole this ep go watch)

Cut and Hunter wearing the same clothes is giving when ur mum dresses you and your siblings in matching outfits

Tech: "we can't get caught with these chain codes" 🤔 Echo: "we can't get caught at all" 💀 being mom is hard

HUNTER GIVING ORDERS WITHOUT WORDS AGAIN bfkwbxhabckw my fav

Tech to the rescueeee

If I had a dollar for every time Omega was in danger bc of a random imperial droid but is saved at the last second by Wrecker smashing it, I'd have 2 dollars... which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

Omega's hand is so tiny in Wrecker's 😭🤲

Cut and Wrecker are wearing matching hats 💕

"but I want to stay with you" thanks I didn't need my heart anyway 💔

Suu owns my heart fr

"It responded to that" ~ Wrecker 💀

OMEGA SWEETHEART 😭😭😭 someone needs to hug her so bad she's just a baby can ppl stop upsetting her!! This is ep 2 plssss

Where is the Lawquane family? Are they safe? Are they alright?

Thanks y'all for joining again <3 I'm gonna have to keep it up bc feb is already going so fast?

Anywayyy ilysm 💕

[coppycatz]

Since many have approached me asking what's happening ajsjkskd I want to give few clarification on my post specifically.

What I mentioned is just my own opinion. It's not meant to blame anyone, like I said it's how I feel. I'm not hurt by the fandom at the moment. I kind of switched to caring about other things and there's a lot happening irl right now. If you want to ask please go to people who made posts about leaving, as it's their feelings that matter.

I am not targeting anyone specifically, a lot of things mentioned has happened back in 2015 and the fact that same or similar things are happening now just means that nothing has changed. Which is dumb, tbh. 🙃

While I support my friends, please stop for a bit and breath. You've been getting very angry lately and yall know what I'm talking about. Remember that friend who quit? Well the deal was that even if they weren't extremely popular, they still got love. Idk how to explain this. It's completely valid to feel neglected, to compare yourself and feel like you're not good enough. I know this first hand. I've cried daily because of my art being shit. I've seen people do "best fandom artists" lists and so on. I know it's hard to deal with, I do. But I've returned and I kept meeting people who were happy about Coppy being active. So as much as I feel like it's wrong that here there's always "top", "middle" and "low" popularity blogs, in my opinion there are also things we notice less because of the hierarchy - like our own fans.

That being said I still think and will always think that some things are damaging and I've made a list on one server of what we can stop doing in my opinion to make people feel more welcome. Which I guess I might post here when I'll get back there, cause I left it 🙃

I personally don't know why many are uncomfortable with new members from TikTok, but I assume that maybe since new members joined old issues resurfaced, since said members were unfamiliar with what potentially could be okay or not to do.

I've been told that people are getting anon hate. Just stop? Talk normally instead. Wtf, honesly. Anon hate is for pussies. I've been called a blunt person numerous times, cause I just say a lot of things straight to the face. Idk why are you so scared of that. It's not always pleasant, but at least it's honest.

I also feel like we all need to talk more. We don't express our feelings till it gets to the boiling point which is bad. Can't we just all be more open, idk?

I've learnt due to past experiences that many people are simply not understandading each other, like as if speaking a different language? Idk. We are also so stressed and on edge somehow, I thought that it's just me, but many seem to be feeling similarly.

Fandom goes to therapy

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

Conversation with my therapist went like this:

T: We have had a lot of space between appointments this summer. How has that felt? Do you want to go back to a weekly cadence or do you think that it's better to space out our appointments going forward?

Me: Um, am I supposed to feel a certain way about that?

T: Well, yeah. You are in a different place than you were the last few years. You talk more in session than you used to. I know there are still things you don't bring up but you generally utilize your time better.

Me: .....

T: Think about it. We can discuss it more next week.

Y'all, I'm shook. This summer has been CRAZY with destination weddings, vacations, federal holidays and now being sick. As a result I saw T once from June 5th to today. I just assumed it was part of summer schedules and we would go back to our normal weekly cadence. Stepping down to once every 2 weeks wasn't even on my radar. Honestly, I feel like I'm just now adjusting from going from twice a week to once a week.

T is all in my head now though. Does she not think I need weekly therapy? Does she not have time for me in her schedule and this is her way of gently pushing me out of her case load? Is she just tired of working with me after 4+ years? Does she really think I'm ready to scale back on addressing my mental health?

Is this what happens if I make any sort of progress? I mean, in some ways I'm doing better. I have learned how to handle my grief with more success, though sometimes it still gets the best of me. My eating behaviors are under control at the moment. I'm generally being kind to my body. These are all the "safe" things that I talk to T about. At the same time I'm still really struggling in a lot of ways. My grief steam rolls me from time to time. My anxiety is the worst it's been in years, with frequent anxiety attacks happening at the moment. I'm still shit at recognizing and naming emotions, especially now that I have SO much distraction. These are things T knows and we have been talking about in the few sessions we have had this summer.

What T doesn't know is that I have been really, really struggling with suicidal ideation again. I haven't gotten myself to bring that up. I'm just not ready to address it, mostly because I don't know why it's back. I can't figure out why part of my brain is so desperate for an "out" right now, but it came on strong when I went back to work. Now I'm thinking, how in the hell do I bring this up without looking desperate for attention? Saying something now seems like I'm screaming, "I can't put more time between sessions, I'm constantly thinking about k*lling myself! Please don't leave me!" That really sounds pathetic doesn't it 🙃

Also, when I go long periods of time without therapy I block out my emotions because I don't have time to deal with them and without the accountability I won't make the time. Then when I realize, oh shit I'm finally accountable to report on how I'm doing, I panic and get flooded with it all at once. Then I spiral into an emotional panic or completely shut down and that's just not fun.

I'm probably over thinking this. Of course the logical thing would be to say all of this to T but I feel like I can't because any potential relationship conflict with her feels too scary. I really need her to be a safe place when I feel wanted, welcomed, seen and held. Normally I do feel that way with her but this simple conversation has triggered something inside of me. A child part that feels like once again we are being left to fend for ourself when all we desperately need is someone to sit with us in the dark while we cry. This little part is throwing an absolute fit because she is never understood or loved and she feels foolish for thinking anyone ever really cared. She feels abandoned.

Omg the fucking drama. All this mental gymnastics over one stupid question about how I want to spend my time and financial resources. Clearly I'm deeply insecure, I think everyone hates me, and I'm insane.

[limpdickharrington]

1, 15, 22, 27, 41, 63, 76 (Ozzy sucks 👁️👄👁️)

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Equal preference tbh. I can't write short multi-chaptered though, either a 10kish oneshot or a 100k+ monster.

2. How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

I try to focus a lot on the balance of tenderness and crude reality. I don't know if it actually comes across to the readers, but I guess the intention is to let you forget what is physically happening for a moment, then push you back into the physical realities of sex and vice versa, spelling out the mechanics of what is happening and cutting it off with the emotional journey.

I don't aim for perfect realism if I'm writing a detailed sex scene because, well... what is fiction for if not exploring things you can't/shouldn't do in real life? But I also struggle to both read and write completely unrealistic sex that's either too perfect or too over the top.

When it comes to smut I only write what I wanna read, so I guess I always figure out what gets me hot about a concept, then try to get that across best I can.

3. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I can't do omniscient narrator/fics that change pov randomly, it confuses my brain just reading them, nevermind writing one. I also struggle writing supernatural stuff even in my original work and I'm also not really into omegaverse, though I enjoy the occasional meme/thread.

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

Favourite: either when the flow of a new chapter/fic hits and I churn out thousands of words like it's nothing, or when I edit it at the very end and it all comes together.

Least favourite: when I get stuck on something small for 3 months and it gives me a writing block 🙃 Bimmer's done this to me a lot.

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

Depends! Usually one-and-done but there are some fics I will go back to. I also reread my own smut a lot skdkfjd but I do write it for me so that makes sense

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

Oh boy.

Too much prep that feels almost mechanical in the way it's done. Safewords for things that don't include cnc. Kink negotiations that are exceedingly mature and educated for the characters and the context. Anal sex being the go-to choice for characters that are inexperienced and sleeping together for the first time.

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of Ozzy sucks?

Several!! Get ready for a long answer (cnc and noncon cw)

- Really wanted to write their first time fucking afterwards, like would it be gentle for Steve to feel like he's taking care of Eddie and making it up to him? Or would Steve want Eddie to take control, top him and dom him to tip the scales in their power dynamic to a point where Steve feels more balanced about it all?

- I kinda wanted Steve to fuck Eddie in the hallway, on the floor, against random furniture in the house, just fucking wreck the place and beat the shit out of each other, but decided it worked better with Steve's intention of "fixing" Eddie and bringing him back into the fold of their relationship to take him to bed. It was never intended to be a particularly rough and violent scene, the tender parts of it are equally important.

- Speaking of tender, I had a second idea of how the scene could go, with Steve being extremely sweet and caring and reassuring through it all until he breaks Eddie with love instead of pain/fear. More of a mindfuck feel to it, where Eddie is disgusted with Steve but also with himself for feeling good. And Steve reassuring him again and again that it's normal for it to feel good, even if it's rape. That it's okay, there's nothing to be ashamed of, it's normal, overwhelming Eddie with tenderness, exhausting him until he's helpless and has to accept it and admit it feels really good.

- Wanted Steve to make Eddie say a lot of embarassing things/things he doesn't mean under the threat of pain. Forcing him to say he's missed his cock, he's been thinking about it all this time, been wanting it so bad. How it feels so good, even while Eddie's bleeding and clearly in pain. That kind of stuff. Kinda regret missing out on Eddie crying and covered in blood while he sobs out how much he loves it.

- Eddie escaping and managing to run halfway across the house covered in blood and piss until Steve catches him 👁️

Anyways, let's just say I really, really wanna write a follow up chapter/oneshot.

[ja3yun]

HIIIII HAPPY MELTING POINT DAYYY 😆🎉 we should start normalising saying happy melting point day instead of happy friday actually

finally completed my workload for the day so i finally have the time to read the newest chapter 😝 im seated, seat belts buckled & so ready for the ride

"boyfriend" I GIGGLED THEY R SOOOOO TGT NOW 🫂🫂 used to pray for moments like this ...ok the minhee not responding to yn as usual kinda sus yea 🧐🧐 but anyways dgaf for now bc HOON CAME TO SURPRISE YN? I LIVE FOR THEM 🤍🤍🤍🤍 STOPP HE LET HER ADD HER OWN TOUCHES TO HIS CAR?:!!: AWWWW THATS SO SWEET i love when couples have a synergistic effect like hoon showers yn w all his love and attention and likewise yn gives hoon nothing but love and pride they truly are meant for each other

NO WAIT HOONYN HAD MORE HISTORY?.?:! when i say match made in heaven i really do mean it 😭 but hoon saying he had a reason when he rejected her... 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐 HMMMMM HMMMMMM 🧐🧐🧐 FAWKKING HELL THEY SAID WHAT NOW 🥺🥹🥺🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 they LOVE each other 🥹🥹🥹🥹 aj i ABSOLUTELY LOVE the little glimpse into hoonyn's past and the little moments that add up to their r/s now im just 🥰

i also absolutely love hoon sets yn straight like u can love both parties but there really shouldnt be a double standard, family or not. and its so refreshing to see main characters actively voice out their feelings! yn pookie imma have to need a word with u bc... i get that this is minhee's first chance at going even bigger but its still as big a thing for hoon too 🥺 and we cant deny minhee has said terrible things about him too...

oh no the mother and son r plotting.. i dont like that 😠😠 okayyyyyy minhee is acting too cold to yn for it to be normal now 🤨🤨🤨 UGH I JUST HATE THEIR MOM. like WOMAN PLEASE. theyre both ur kids ur flesh and blood i get that this is a big thing for minhee but like UGH 😤 OMG? rina made hoon's fit? SLAYYY U GO GIRLLL

WORLD PAUSE. WHAT HAPPENED?:!/!/& the moment i read the words "his ankle unexpectedly snaps at a 90 degree angle" MY HEART DROPPED MY JAW DROPPED BC THERES NO FREAKING WAY. does minhee want to fight WHY IS HE HOLDING YN BACK. LITERALLY LET THE GIRL GO!!!!! wtf. did minhee actually have something to do w hoon's skates. bc if he did istg. NOT HIM TRYING TO CHANGE THE TOPIC WTF. NOW IS NOT THE FREAKING TIME U DINGDONG!!!! but ig now we know why he was acting so distant w his own sister 😠

OK SO HE REALLY DID IT? oh U WANNA FIGHT KANG?.!.!/ AND HERE COMES THE MOTHER. if u can even call her that 😡🤬 IM SO?.!.&/ WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT DO U HAVE NO SHAME NO MORALS WTFFF 🤬🤬🤬🤬 i knew chapter 4 was the calm before the storm 😭😭😭😭 i hope yn got to see hoon tho 😭 im starting a hoon ankle speedy recovery manifestation ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

icb i finished the chapter so soon 🙃 now im back to living non melting point days.... patiently waiting for melting point day to come 🤍

i am with you on that! happy melting point day is how i'm greeting every friday from now on !!

ynhoon have been going longer than anyone realised and honestly i know i wrote it but why do i still get so ajdhsjhd over hoon when i remember he told his dad to give her the sweets?? its my little pocket of happiness :( and it just makes the i love you so much more deeper than we realise!!

minhee and the mum, honestly, i love the reactions 😭 the plot thickens each chapter and i can't wait to watch everyone unfold it along with yn.

thank you as always for reading! ilysm you have no idea!!

[woohooasbats]

sims tag

Thank you @occultpuppy for the tag! In classic Bats fashion, I am filling this out 4 billion years late.

1. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? I used to be hardcore Maxis Match but I am getting into Maxis Mix these days because of the characterization you can achieve with skin details and eyes. 

2. What’s your favourite sims death? Few deaths are as good as the Mummy’s Curse in Sims 3. Honorable mentions go to pufferfish nigiri and deathl-scented flower arrangements for hot babes that do murder.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? I’ve had a vain sim buy the insta-lean reward before, but I hated the result so I haven’t used it since. Other than that, no.

4. Do you use move objects? Who doesn’t???

5. Favorite mod? I’ve been playing this game waaaay too long to have just one favorite, lol. If I have to choose just one to feature right now… TOOL, maybe? But the Nraas suite from the Sims 3 days is also a contender. 

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Of all time, Livin’ Large, of course. I usually get the first expansion for each installment of the series. I got all of the Sims 4 expansions at once, though. 

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or Living? Live as in alive. Sorry, folks.

8. Have you made a simself? I tried once but it looked nothing like me. I’m not really a simself kind of player. 

9. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? Come onnnn don’t ask me thisssss. If we’re talking completely from scratch, I have to say Biagio. I think Luisa is a really good-looking sim, but she’s technically based on her Sims 3 counterpart who was born in-game. 

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? If I have to pick just 3 traits from Sims 4, it’s probably Art Lover, Perfectionist, and Jealous.

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Probably platinum blonde? Or possibly the brown and gray for added townie flavor.

12. Favorite EA hair? I really couldn’t tell you. It’s probably a male hair. A lot of CC male hair is a little too K-pop for my taste.

13. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I like a healthy mix of both, but I’m bad at building so it gives me anxiety. That’s when I set the game down and walk away for several months. 🙃

14. Favorite life stage? None! I play on really long lifespans and it’s a joy to watch a sim go through them all. 

15. Are you a CC creator? I’ve recolored things for myself and make my own poses, but I don’t follow any quality control so I don’t share them. 

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? Not really. :( Most of my mutuals from the Sims 3 era seem to have retired. Shout out to the people that do consistently interact with my stuff. <3 I’m trying to be more active so I can connect with people again. 

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)  They’re all special in their own way! If I have to pick, it’s a toss-up between 2 and 3. Sims 2 had some of the last really EXCELLENT writing of the series, and Sims 3 is still undefeated in terms of sandbox gameplay. 

18. Do you have any sims merch? No, lol. I think I had that USB at one point. No idea what happened to that. 

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? No, but I want one!!

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I used to play strictly one family legacy-style on normal lifespans, trying to get as many generations as possible. Now I like to take more time with my characters to develop them. Now I play extreeeemely long lifespans and rotate between many families. 

21. What’s your Origin ID? 🏴‍☠️

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? Don’t make me pick, lol. Just scroll my finds blog @batsfinds or my Pinterest.

23. How long have you had a simblr? Since November, 2011 🥲 Fuck, I’m old. 

24. How do you edit your pictures? Gshade + Photoshop/Lightroom

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS BANDS

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? I really like Vampires and Cottage Living. 

Thanks for reading! Tagging my love, @veryflirtytransportalate and you, dear reader!

[autisticlee]

almost every time I have met online friends irl, they stop talking to me either immediately after or very soon after, usually after increasingly acting weird or distant towards me. it makes me feel awful. and then i'm afraid to meet anyone irl again.

I feel so silly and stupid that I have a lowkey fear creeping below the surface about going to visit my friend and their gf this summer. what if they end up hating me 🙃 i've thought about mentioning it to my friend, but I don't want to make them feel bad about it!!!!!! it's not their fault I feel this gross fear. they didn't do anything to make it happen. they're super excited and always tell me about it!! i'm the one that is struggling to feel excited because i'm haunted by past experiences that will not stop repeating like i'm stuck in an endless loop of hell!!!!! 😭

I try to remind myself that thos friend also

I seem to give off this bad vibe irl that everyone except me notices and it makes people want to avoid me. I don't know what it is or how to fix it but I wish I could!!!! perhaps i'm just simply not likable 🥲 i've had people want to be roommates and act like best friends meet me irl and suddenly start avoiding me until they straight-up ghost me. I don't understand 😔

i'm very willing to work on myself....if I knew wtf was wrong with me!!!!! but I do not!!

I also fear it's something I can't change and it's something that's part of me, so I literally can't do anything unless I mask and become a fake person. but that's so uncomfortable and lonely in itself and feels pointless. what if it's just normal autism traits and people are assholes???? then I have no choice in the matter.

everyone tells me i'll ~find the right ones~ or whatever. befriend other autistic or ND people. but it never matters. they all end up the same in the end!!!!! fellow autistic and adhd people have hurt me MORE than NTs!!! do you know how many times I thought I did find "the right people," made them promise to not do what the last ones did, promise to respect my needs and boundaries, and promise to be honest and talk everything out, but then a little while down the way they do exactly the same shit they promised not to that everyone else did?!

when the same shit keeps happening over and over, at what point does it stop being "other people are the assholes" and become "im obviously the problem" ??????? i'll have people tell me it's not me that's the problem. it's other people. those same people will become "the other people" themselves. so is it REALLY them that's the problem, or am I too goddamn stupid to know what's wrong with me and what i'm doing wrong ?!

sometimes people will put a blame on me but not tell me why it's me. just a broad statement with no details that point fingers at me. "you're gaslighting me" (after opening up to a close friend group about a difficult thing I had just experienced and that was the response one gave and then completely ghosted with no explanation, leading to the whole group abandoning me)

sometimes people will complain about certain things I can't help. "you ruined my whole day!" (some girl telling me this, a few months later after kicking me out of a group. I needed help navigating nyc subway to the bus station because my phone GPS didn't work there and she said it was ok, she'd gladly help me. then yelled at me about it a while later when she got mad about something else, about how I ruined her day that time by making her help me and being a burden 🙃✌️)

sometimes someone will drop out basically mid conversion, get extremely distant, go from replying with novels to one word replies until not responding at all, then suddenly block me a year later after ignoring me. only to come at me with "you stopped caring about me and haven't messaged me in a year" despite our last messages being me saying I miss them, them saying they've been busy (despite having the time to talk to multiple other people and ppat their message screenshots online every day and be online all the time) and me responding telling them to message me when they aren't busy so we can chat again, but never getting a response!!) only for them to admit they muted me and didn't want to talk to me "for no reason" they literally said that to me lmao wtf. how is there "no reason"

sometimes it IS them that's the problem though. like one girl who accused me of liking her and sabotaged our whole friendship based on these baseless delusions she had. sje decided she was going to "choose" to be straight (she's bi) and decided i'm a "man" (I was trans masc and starting my transition at the time, but am actually nonbinary. it was just required to be trans masc where I live to get treatment. nb people aren't allowed) and she decided guys and girls can't ever be "just friends" she even got very upset at me when I told her she's wrong and not even my type and i'm asexual/probably aromantic. she claims I ~knew saying that would hurt her~ because she apparently told me that kind of thing hurts her before. I did not know this, she never told me this. that's also a weird thing to think/say??? saying it upsets you that someone ISNT attracted to you but also being upset and ruining the friendship if they are??? what the fuck lmao. goofy behavior. I thought she'd be delighted to hear she was wrong about that but nope. she wanted to feel good that someone liked her even if it cost the friendship. haha weird 🙃 she also talked shit about me being autistic at one point lol. fellow ND being a ND hater. sue was all kinds of messed up, but at least I knew it was for sure her that was the problem and not me this one time. but she wasted so much of my time and energy that I can't get back.

it's not always clear why people do what they do, and it drives me insane until I can figure it out. most of the time I cannot. so I go on knowing i'll unknowingly fuck everything up yet again. it feels guaranteed.

I just want a stable and comfortable friendship that's close and secure. one I know will last. one where I can relax and enjoy the time with the other person and not have to be hyperaware of every little detail and look out for potential patterns I recognize that every friendship seems to fall into just like the last, that will lead to the same shit. then force me to have to try harder to save the friendship before it gets worse!!!! but trying seems to make it worse somehow. I don't fuckijg know.

I AM TIRED AND EXHAUSTED AND DONE. i've reached the point where I don't have the energy or willpower to try getting closer with anyone and have to sit here feeling lonely and disconnected from everyone. I don't feel like I have even one single person I can trust or rely on. not one. if I go to anyone, i'll just burden and annoy them. they can say I won't all the want, but that's always a lie. always. last time I trusted a group wo told me that, I got told I was gaslighting them. not told why or how. but apparently losing a thing important to me and confiding in my closest friends about it is "gaslighting" now and is justification to cancel me from our group trip and then not invite me back into the group chat when I switch accounts LOL.

after that shit, I just cannot. I genuinely thought that were "THE ONES" you know, those mythical "the right people" i'm alwaus being told about thar apparently exist. but every time I find them, I am wrong. so I have no fucking clue what to even look for. they seemed so good at first!!!! how do I find better???? and how do I not fuck it up wven thought I can't figure out what the FUCK I did wrong by sharing a very deep, personal, important thing with my closet trusted friends?!

if "the right people" can't even accept me then wtf am I supposed to do??? I feel like I either deserve this, not having friends or anyone to rely on, or I just have to accept that i'll always be alone. maybe I can have little casual surface friendships....but I'll never have anything deeper and closer. i'll never have the type of thing I feel I need that's hard to explain. maybe it's just the trust of knowing something will last and is stable. i've never had that. i've been walking on egg shells my whole life around everyone. and its so uncomfortable and sucks. it makes me feel so goddamn lonely. especially when I see everyone else has their person or people.

and don't get me wrong, i'm fine with being alone by myself. if I lock myself up and don't see or pay attention to others, i'm perfectly fine and don't feel lonely. it's as soon as I see other people being together, and ESPECIALLY when i'm woth other people that I feel this deep and painful sad/loneliness that doesn't go away until i'm away from people for a while again. but even of i'm enjoying my alone time, there's often things I want to do that require others, so I can't do them and it makes me feel bad. my old therapist telling me last time I was avoiding people due to (unknown at the time) autistic burnout, that we are a social species and require interaction with other people, so I NEED to make friends and interact with others always echos in my mind. I wish I DIDNT need others and can lock myself up alone forever. that feel less painful than trying to be with others. seeing and being with others makes me feel awful and alone. being literally alone feels comfortable and not lonely, most of the time. as long as I have a single-person hyperfocus to occupy my entire existence with.

but despite feeling like this, the burnout I hit from losing several important things to me at once about a couple years ago and my friend group ditching me when I needed them most is debilitating and still going strong. I feel like this is my new permanent state of being. I don't have the energy to put any effort into friendhips. if they don't maintain themsleves or the other person doesn't put in most of the effort, I WILL let it die and act like I don't give a fuck (I do, I just don't have the power to stop it). it's all on the other person's shoulders to carry the friendship the way I carried all the ones in my past. it's my turn to be the unresponsive friend who doesn't put in effort and responds with one word. not because I secretly hate the person/friendhipz but because i'm perpetually burnt out and literally can't do much anymore. I just can't.

that doesnt mean I can't keep complaining about how lonely and disconnected I feel!!! just because i'm not trying to fix it doesn't mean my feelings are invalid! "just keep trying" only works for people who have the ability to try. my ability was destroyed and am now unable. I would need a miracle of a person who puts in enough effort and genuinely cares enough about me to nurse me out of burnout hell to the point where I can put full trust and faith into them and call them my best friend.

but I doubt that will happen. I won't believe it until I see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! being "positive" and hoping for the best keeps biting me in the ass and makes the fall hurt even more. I do not have the spoons and willpower and energy for that again i'm sorry 😭

wow this was a long ramble. it's taken me 2 hours to write this. I just wrote exactly what my brain was saying and rambled off topic. this was originally supposed to be about how, while I want to be excited to visit my friend and their gf, it's really hard to because all my past experiences make FEAR lurk around every corner.

I expressed an anxiety to my friend about the trip but only said it was about going to the airport and flying for the first time ever. and alone at that. if I tell them about this little hell demon on my shoulder, it may upset them. they're always telling me how they're so excited and I can't ruin that!!!! the more excited they are, the more comfortable/less worried I feel i'm allowed to be about it??? I NEED that energy personally. and I want them to keep that for themsleves as well. especially when it's not that I don't trust THEM. I don't trust myself. I could do any number of things wrong and make a good, fun, exciting trip go bad, or create a bad after-effect that makes it all slowly break down after. my friend expressed even wanting me to move in with them and their gf. be roommates. where have I heard that one before lmao. multiple other times before a seemingly good friendship gets destroyed for unknown reasons 😭

I hate that my brain has to live this way thanks to past traumas. cptsd mixed with autism/adhd is literally hell. but when you basically never know if you're the one fucking everything up accidentally, are afraid to hurt someone important again, don't know what a real/healthy friendhip is meant to look like due to never experiencing one, and don't have the energy to deal with this shit anymore, it's impossible to make your brain chill the fuck out.

there is a chance everything will go well and nothing will change. there is a smaller chance things will even improve. I can only hope, even if I know hoping for things ends up hurting more.

"what's the worst that can happen" i'm always asked, as if the person asking thinks nothing bad can happen. imagine being very far away from home and your trusted best friend you're there with betrays and hurts you for who knows what stupid reason, and you're stranded there, alone and upset, with no one around you who cares or wants to help or comfort you. you're treated like a burden and have no one to turn to. you're trapped and alone, surrounded by strangers in a big scary city. your whole world and everything you knew is falling apart in your hands as you try desperately to patch it badk together, but your once trusted person is purposely pulling out the seams. your supposed-to-be-happy experience is forever tainted and ruined. you get blamed for it all when you're confused and lost as to what even happened! it takes years to put the pieces together and come to a conclusion about what and why it happened. but that experience left deep scars that affect everything that comes after.

I don't want want that to happen again lmao. I cant make my brain not have intrusive flashbacks when faced with a similar scenario. it's literally how trauma works.

i've heard you can heal from trauma. but is that possible when the trauma wound constantly gets reopen every time it even starts to heal? if the same shit that caused you trauma keeps happening over and over and over and over....things replying in your head end up repeating themelves despire your best efforts to go a different direction....how do you heal? how do you convince your brain to not feel like this and think these things when it feels like reality rather than a worry since these things have happened literally 100% of the time!

that's the problem. you can't heal a flesh wound by rubbing dirt and shit and sharp objects on it all the time. I feel like the only way to heal is to be able to have someone I can actually trust and reply on. someone who proves to me that they won't become another source of trauma. the wond needs a clean and stable environment to heal in.

but i'm broken. i'm annoying. i'm incredibly boring and have no personality. my interests are few and very weird. i'm not likable to most people or for very long and do and say the wrong things all the time. etc etc. *throws pity party or whatever that's actually based on facts probably because no one proved them wrong yet and idk the real reason so i'm simply guessing* so how am I supposed to make a person do this lmao since you can't force people to like you and be a good friend. I also can't force myself to like people so the person needs to be someone *I* like and feel comfortable and connected with as well. hitting two birds with one stone is.....not easy. especially when you're as clumsy and uncoordinated as me.

hopefully my trip goes well. hopefully a miracle happens and we get closer. but I can't rely on it. I can't even think about it. I keep making myself focus on other things and nkt think. but sometimes something reminds me and then this now THREE HOUR long rant happens. 😭✌️

[thismoleculeisacomedian]

Do you have any theories about world on fire season two?

i have thought about this A Normal Amount XD

my opinions are sort of just based on the information shared in the interviews that peter bowker gave? like he said something to the effect that nancy will be in the USSR at some point (he didn't specify if she would be in russia or a satellite country) for some of it; that vernon and lois would be in a "loveless, Brontesque marriage" (having only read charlotte bronte, i have no clue what this means to be totally honest, but it doesn't sound good lol); that we'd learn more about nancy and webster's respective pasts; and that harry and kasia would get back to manchester and lois and kasia would meet.

honestly, going off this alone, my thoughts are along the lines of ??? ??? ????? ??????????

(also he only mentions these characters so i have NO idea what's going to happen for everyone else, so i probably won't discuss them here.)

i mean, when he says kasia and lois meet, idk if he mean they MEET, or like, they meet in passing and kasia remains oblivious to the circumstances/nature of lois & harry's relationship and the complete train wreck of a situation that was. and i have no clue what the hell happened between s1e7 and s2e1 for lois and vernon to be so chilly with each other now.

i do very much want to know more about webster's past, but i have waaaay too many ideas on this subject to actually have a real ~prediction~ on it lol. (same goes for nancy tbh.)

now for the historically-related predictions i have:

personally, (and i hate it) i think either vernon or randy will die, because either death would move the story forward for at least one other character and also, the statistics for the RAF in terms of survival were ridiculously low. also historically speaking, nancy is going to probably move to england, because it was almost impossible for american reporters to continue to work in occupied europe for the most part (but there were exceptions of course). also, i very much doubt webster is going to leave france, so he will probably be interned, as almost all americans in occupied france were after the U.S entered WWII. (this is assuming s2 reaches that point in time, but december 1941 seems like a bit of a reach if each season only covers one year, so if it does, it's probably going to happen in the last episode and then we'd have another cliffhanger from hell 😀👍)

my crazy brain thinks that kasia will join the SOE also 🤷‍♂️. because the SOE needed people who knew certain countries very well, and also because this is the BBC.

basically, my predictions are a hodgepodge informed by historical knowledge and the way that the narrative is structured so far (+wishful thinking because i refuse to contemplate any major character deaths)... but i'm not putting money on any of them! 🙃

[aftonfamilyvalues]

I love rad fems for not fucking around with telling me I accepted the bare minimum and deserve better (and damn the bar is the floor,) but then I’ll enter therapy spaces and stigmatized for being single and analyzed as far as what’s wrong with me in terms of why in single, and the goal in therapy will be to get me “normal” and in relationships 🙃🙃

I dated someone who took on the role of care giver and would do shit like literally spending an entire semester harassing a teacher so the teacher wouldn’t harass me… or church dances flirting and if we danced and someone asked to step in would get all jealous and tell me to tell him no…

Because most men are so porn and I’m traumatized, I’ve said before I’m sad I didn’t experience romantic love ; I’ve hated myself for having s freeze response but whenever I dared guys in secret, I’d initiate intimacy, and then when they reciprocated… I’d freeze. And despite all the feminism in the world I deal with hating myself for being a coward for freezing,  and hate myself for “allowing” abuse to happen to me.

My father abused me and threatened me… and I was gaslight about him being an abuser… so I’d dare and then freak out and freeze whenever intimacy was initiated….

I just I knew if I was affectionate it would mean we were “official” and I feared being assaulted. We’d date long enough to care about each other (they cared about me, wanted to love me but I don’t think they did…. Or they’d call out my abusive father and not be friends with the sick fucj,) but I feel guilty. I’ve always felt guilty for being a burden and letting others down.

It’s frustrating how I’ve had sessions and instead of being met with the message of being good enough and not needing as a moid to complete me, I’m suggested otherwise 🙃🙃

Sorry to say this but I think most female social workers and therapists were socialized to give care, but don’t actually give a shit about women and have male bias, and project.

If I were to dare now, it would be due to stigma, not a desire to, because I’m terrified of men.

Idk how to live under stigma. Does it eventually get easier? If you’re a single woman and childfree there’s a heavy stigma, especially if you’re “behind” due to trauma. No one does this to men though, men are seen as complete .

im sorry you went through all that but id say yeah things do get easier. they more confidence you build, the more solid boundaries you establish, the more you learnt o love yourself, the more you surround yourself with support, i think those things help. and i absolutely hate therapists who think being a wife and mother mean being healed or that being the goal

[bearded-cashew]

The bad thing about my inability to take even the smallest criticism or disagreement is that I'm torn between going completely off the rails radicalized that genocides everything in my path because how dare you and wanting to hide from the world while second-guessing everything I do and feel because how dare me. It's exhausting. How tf do normal people put up with bullshit like this? I wish I came with a freaking manual for people to read before dealing with me because I'm too mentally ill to explain that I do not want any part of me to be challenged and that if it happens anyways and I like you then I have a very strong desire to just flee and start a new life with a new identity in the middle of nowhere instead of defaulting to fighting back.

I hate being mentally ill like this and just want to react to things logically like a normal person does. 🙃

[actualtext]

Dec 8, 2022

Reflection

1. What is going on inside your head right now?

I feel like the more I know about anything, the worse I feel. For example, learning about my homelessness. Or learning about anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. I feel like knowing about these things and being able to identify them when they are occurring only makes me feel self conscious and broken.

I think the assessment made me realize I'm not taking as good care of myself as I previously thought I was and that makes me kinda sad. Haha I thought I was doing so well but there's so much to improve on and that thought makes me feel tired. I've been sleeping a lot more than usual since we last spoke and I still feel sleepy. There are circles under my eyes thats I've noticed lately..

2. What negative emotion keeps cropping up the most lately?

Mostly that no one wants me around. It's a silly thought because my friends love me, deep down inside I know they do. They make it obvious whenever I see them. But when I'm not with them I always feel like maybe they don't like me or miss me. It especially hurts me when I try to make plans with them and they have to cancel for some reason. It feels like they just don't want to be around me.

3. What has made you the happiest lately?

I told myself I wasn't going to date anymore after the traumatic event happened with my cousin, because I would be leaving soon but also because I wasn't ready to trust men. I tweeted something about how it was kind of difficult to function normally after a traumatic event had occurred, and an old friend liked my tweet. This old friends name is Jaime, we dated briefly but I went off to college in a different city and he stayed behind. We hung out a few times since the incident with my cousin and I told him what went down. I've been talking to him a lot lately about how I've been so bummed out and he always does something to make me laugh and feel better. He's a very comical character. Always makes me laugh so I think the rekindling of our friendship has made me the happiest lately.

4. The last time you felt this way, what did you do?

The last time I felt extremely anxious, I ruined a friendship. My pal Leo didn't know how to tell me that he would be less involved in my life cause he got a girlfriend. I thought he just hated my guts. I kept asking him if I had some something, and if he hated me. He wouldn't ever give me a straight answer so I thought the worst. Ultimately I came off as clingy and overbearing cause I was doing everything to not lose him, and then I did. 🙃

5. What holds you back the most from moving on from negative emotions?

Probably me forgetting about any reassurance I've received. I have a terrible memory so sometimes I'll forget how someone consoled me and go back to feeling how I felt before the consolation.

6. Which emotions are you trying to avoid right now? why?

Right now I'm trying to avoid feeling like a complete screw up. I was asked recently to participate in a panel discussion, but what I hate most about those is the part when they ask about where I am now. I feel stuck as if I haven't accomplished anything lately and that kills me. It's true, I haven't accomplished anything lately, but I wish I was okay with that, rather than feeling like less of a worthy person because of it. I don't wanna do the panel. I'm probably going to cancel, even thought I would consider it an achievement.

7. What is your inner critic telling you lately?

That I'll end up like my mom, severely depressed and unhappy. She had a hard life though, and while I have also had a hard life, it's not as bad as hers was. I feel like I'm in an ocean of sad feelings and I'm trying so hard to stay afloat as opposed to drowning in it but I'm getting so tired of fighting the current trying to pull me under.

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 13 omg we're in the teens now 😯

let's go batchers 🤟 my phone is on 66% again and my internet is SHOCKING why does technology hate me 🙃

the Bad Batch 1x09

Hunter sounds so feral I'm-

I could be wrong ?? but I'm pretty sure every ep so far has started with the marauder flying ??

not the batch hesitating to jump 😭

Cad Bane locked Omega in a cell 😡 let our baby out

YES LITTLE FERAL BABY she gets it from Hunter

she's so sassy 💅

at least he polite "at your service" "little lady"

pfftt poor Todo

Daaad Taun We's here

Lama Su I'm gonna terminate you 😡

Omega is so much like Tech rn telling Todo how to fix his leg

Echo recognising Cad Bane 👀

I love it when they call Omega "the kid" 🥺

Jango mention 👀

BOBA MENTION 👀

Tech Omega dramatic sigh count: 5 (this ep lmao)

"my treatment is perfectly adequate" ~ Todo 😂

Omega misaligned his leg on purpose she's so smart fr 🥰

Tipoca city x cloud city 👀

Cad Bane: *realises Omega is gone* *angry toothpick noises*

AHHHH STOP 😭😭😭 when they hear Omega's voice on the comms Hunter and Echo turn to each other like 😯 they all move so quickly I just 😫😭

"by hook or by crook" ~ Cad Bane is really a fairytale villain lol

Omega and Hunter screaming for each other 🥲😫😭 screaming tearing my hair out flipping my bed throwing my phone to mars

Omega is so sad about Taun We 💔

Fennec Shand vs Cad Bane 👀 round 2 when ??

this is honestly such a great fight scene tho 👌

Omega seeing her reflection in the cloning tubes ... it's like poetry it rhymes

was that Tech or Echo flying 👀 some sort of spinny flippy Tech Turn

do we know any history of this cloning facility in the Lido system ??

CAN WE STOP THROWING THE CHILD PLEASE

surely Cad Bane knows where Boba is ?? does anybody know where Boba is rn ?? s3 ?? 🤞

Fennec: *knocks Cad Bane's hat back* Cad Bane: *growls*

lmao Omega jumping on Todo 💀 she's a perfect fit for the bad batch fr

Omega limping to the flight pods 🥺

Todo is so funny pls 😂 shout out to Seth Green for voicing him 🙌

Cad Bane's rocket boots where do I get some asking for a friend

OMEGA BRACING FOR A CRASH LANDING 😭

Wrecker pulling her out by her hands 🥺

WRECKER HUGGING OMEGA 😭

Omega hugging Hunter and him wincing 😫😭

"are you okay Omega? are you hurt?" Hunter learned this from Cut 🥺🤲💕

"Hunter you have to tell her" ~ Echo realising Omega is grown up enough to handle that kind of information and them respecting her enough to tell her the truth 💕🥰

lmao when did Fennec have time to sabotage Cad Bane's ship

Nala Se hiring Fennec to keep Omega away from Lama Su 👑

TECH SNORING

where is Echo sleeping ???

HUNTER HAS HIS FOOT UP ON THE DASH AKDSFSKAKADHAKSA

Omega: "I don't want to end up an experiment in a tube" Hunter: "that's not going to happen" Omega: "you can't fight them all" okay what if I cried forever

she turns her face away when she says that last one and he turns her whole chair around to face him 🥺🤲

he said "I promise" with such confidence PLS- 😭 I am BEGGING for s3 👀 I'm not even gonna say it I'm not risking jinxing anything

I am so totally completely normal about this whole episode !!! the bounty hunters the fight scenes the familiar faces (shout out to the queen herself Rena Owen 👑💕)

not long to go for s3 now my friends !!