#there were so many pieces to this story and they all came together perfectly

[nevertrulyset]

I honestly didn't know what to expect with "Those Old Scientists" but I think it's my favorite Jonathan Frakes movie now.

[honeyedmiller]

A Burning Desire part two

firefighter!joel x f!reader

rating: 18+ minors dni

warnings: joel miller au, mentions of food / eating, literally so much tooth-rotting fluff it’s actually sickening, reader can sit on joel’s lap, mutual pining, kissing, dry humping, no use of y/n.

word count: 6.2k

synopsis: joel takes you on your first date with him.

a/n: special thank you to @punkshort for the meeting at the firehouse idea and for letting me ramble about the infinite ideas i have for this story in our dms. i appreciate the heck outta you

part one here

The summer sun gleamed on you as you made your way up to the firehouse he worked at. The big red doors were open and inviting, the shiny red trucks sitting perfectly still in the apparatus bay as you shyly stepped into the building. 

You carried a tray of cookies you made yourself, wanting to give it to the team as a thank you for being on the scene of your accident and getting you out safely. Well, they were mostly for Joel, Tommy, and the EMT’s. You weren’t able to see Joel in a few days and it drove you sort of crazy, so this was a perfectly good excuse. Joel would probably get teased by his coworkers again, and you’d probably get brought into the mix. It didn’t matter if it meant you got to see him.

It was odd, admitting that to yourself. You’d been single and alone for so long that you were used to the feeling of loneliness, but after meeting Joel, it genuinely sucked not being in his presence. You’ve only known the man for about a week, which made you feel even crazier for feeling this way. 

The way you felt around him was almost unexplainable. Light. Happy. You didn’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not, which you had to do more often than not with your job. 

Being around Joel Miller was like a tall glass of the purest, most refreshing water on Earth. 

“Hey miss, can I help you?” A kind voice snaps you back to reality. The man was wiping his hands with a dish rag, a small smile on his face as he eyed what you had in your hands. 

“Uh– yeah, actually, I came to drop these off for everyone. And uh– is Joel available?” 

You didn’t know why you suddenly felt so shy. Maybe you were just worried as to what his coworkers would think about you coming to his job to ask to see him. 

The man had a knowing smirk on his face and nodded. 

“Ah, so you must be Miller’s mystery woman,” He laughs, jutting his chin up the steps. “He’s up there. Follow me.” 

Your face heats up from his words. Joel talks about you to them? 

You follow him up the stairs to the second floor where the lounge area and kitchen were. Many of them were gathered at the kitchen table while they ate, and a few others were playing a video game in the lounge area. 

“Hey Miller.” The man calls out, and first Tommy turns around with a piece of garlic bread hanging out of his mouth as he plates what looks like lasagna. You have to stifle a laugh at the confused look on his face, but then your heart skips a beat when your eyes land on Joel. 

He’s writing something down in a book, and he looks up at the man before his eyes flit to you. A grin spreads on his lips as you give him a shy smile and a small wave. He stands up from the table he was sitting at after capping his pen, making his way over to you. 

“Darlin’, this is such a nice surprise. Whatcha doin’ here?” He brings you into a hug, and catches himself refraining from giving you a kiss of any sort. He already got enough teasing from his coworkers and brother. 

“I made cookies for everyone. As a thank you, you know, for getting me out of that nasty accident.” 

His eyes soften at your words, eyebrows furrowing together as he takes the plate from your hand. 

“That’s so sweet of you. Thank you. I know these goons over here will devour these.” He motions his head to his coworkers behind him. 

You laugh as you look behind him, all of his coworkers' heads turned your way as they watch the interaction between you two. 

“You busy later tonight?” His voice drops a few octaves, setting the plate on the counter before he coaxes you to follow him downstairs again. 

“Nope. Just watching reruns of The Bachelor.” 

Joel quirks a brow at your show choice with a smile laced onto his lips. 

“Would you mind if I stopped by later? I feel bad I haven’t been able to see you.” 

“Don’t feel bad, Joel. I know you work odd hours,” You pause as he takes you into the locker rooms for some more privacy, away from prying eyes. “But of course you can come over. I’d love the company.” 

“Great. Maybe I can pick up some take-out and we can eat it at your place?” He’s hopeful with a sparkle in his eyes that makes your stomach flutter, once again. 

“Sounds great. I’ll text you the address when you get off work.” 

“I look forward to seein’ you. Y’know, away from nosey people.” He chuckles, referring to his coworkers. You admire the crinkle around his eyes when he smiles. 

“I look forward to it too, Joel,” You lean in and press your lips to his cheek. “I’ll see you later, cowboy.” You give him a wink before turning around to walk off, leaving him standing there with the goofiest grin plastered on his face. 

-

A few hours had passed by since you stopped off at the firehouse, and you were tidying up last minute things before Joel came over. 

You hadn’t had someone over at your place in a long time besides family, so a part of you wanted to impress him a little. 

He’d be over any minute now and you couldn’t stop your heart from racing. You don’t know what it was, but Joel just made you so nervous in the best way possible. You felt like a teenager all over again with a crush you’d giggle with your friends about—but in this case, it was your sister. 

Just as you finished fluffing up the last pillow on the couch, you heard a knock on your door. 

You checked through the peephole just to be sure it was Joel, and when you saw it was, you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your lips. You open the door to him wearing more casual clothes, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his biceps really well, holding a bag of takeout in his hand. 

“Hey darlin’.” He greets you with a smile on his face, and you move aside to let him in. 

“Hey Joel.” You close the door after he’s in, locking the top lock before turning around to face him. 

“Where should I set up this gourmet feast?” He teases, wiggling his eyebrows as he holds up the bag of Chinese food. 

You huff a laugh and nod toward the dining room table. “There’s fine. Let me get some plates.” 

You make your way to the cabinets in your kitchen, pulling down two plates for the both of you before you turn around, only to be met with the close proximity of Joel. You gasp and look at him, biting your lip to keep from smiling. 

Goddamn teenager. 

“So, I figured out where I wanna take ya for our first date.” He starts, leaning against the counter.

“I thought this was our first date.” You blink, eyes shifting to the delicious smelling Chinese food sitting on your dining room table just waiting to be devoured. 

Joel snorts and crosses his arms, “You kiddin’ me? As much as I like bein’ in your company, this ain’t a date, darlin’. You deserve better than a half-assed plan to eat takeout and watch that one show you like.” 

You look down at your socked feet, having never really felt like a priority anytime you were involved romantically with someone. You barely even know this man and he’s already shown more effort toward you than some men of your past. 

“Baby, look at me,” Joel tilts your chin up again so your gaze meets his, and he gives you a soft smile that makes your insides absolutely melt. “As long as I’m around, I’m gonna make sure you feel important. It’s the least you deserve.” 

And you want to believe him, so fucking bad. There’s this stupid nagging voice in the back of your head telling you that what he’s saying isn’t true—you don’t deserve to feel important and being single was the best decision you could’ve made for yourself. 

You force those thoughts to drown for now, focusing on him and his gentle gaze. 

“Thank you.” You give him a small smile, and his hand moves to cup your cheek, swiping his thumb back and forth. 

“‘Course. But, I gotta get somethin’ off my chest before we take this whole datin’ thing any further.” 

You furrow your brows, and the way his gaze shifts to a pleading look makes you nervous. What could it possibly be? 

“I know this ain’t for everyone, and I understand if you don’t wanna see me anymore after this–” He pauses, lips twisting to the side as his eyes move to the ground, “But I really hope this doesn’t change what we got goin’ on. I really do like you, darlin’.” 

“What is it, Joel?” You can’t even concentrate on the sweet words that just oozed out of his mouth. Your stomach was coiling into an unwanted knot, endless possibilities of what he has to say in mind. 

“I have a daughter.” 

That’s what he was worried about? Oh. 

“Oh wow, that’s amazing, Joel. Why would you think I wouldn’t want to see you after you told me this?” You’re the one reassuring him now, gently grabbing his face in your hands before swiping your thumbs over the stubble on his jaw. 

“You’d be surprised how many women have run for the hills after I’ve told them that.” A sad chuckle bubbles from his throat, and you lean forward to kiss his nose. 

“Not this one, cowboy.” 

-

Joel didn’t tell you a single thing about where he was taking you. All he told you was to dress comfortably for the hot weather and wear some walking shoes, so you opted for a tank top and jeans with rips at the knees and your comfiest shoes. 

You heard a knock on the front door of your apartment, and you eagerly checked the peephole before opening up the door. You grinned at Joel, but stopped short when you saw him wearing a Stetson. 

Fuck, he looked so good.

“Howdy.” He greets in true cowboy fashion, and you can’t help the laugh that bubbles in your throat. 

“Howdy there, cowboy.” You flick the brim of his hat teasingly before grabbing your purse, locking up as you both head down to his truck. 

“So you’re still not gonna tell me where we’re heading to?” You ask once you’re both buckled in, and the truck roars to life. 

“You’ll see in a few minutes. Jus’ wanted to surprise you a little for our first… of hopefully many… dates.” He mumbles the last part under his breath, but your heart rate accelerates knowing he wanted to continue to see you. 

Soft tunes play within the confines of the cab of the truck and you look out of your window. It was all flatlands for a few miles, and then you both hit a bit of traffic, but you could easily see the huge ferris wheel from where you were at. 

You gasped as you sat straight in your seat, eyes shooting to Joel. “You’re taking me to the state fair?” You couldn’t contain your excitement. You absolutely loved the nostalgia the fair brought you, and you hadn’t been in a few years. 

“Mhm.” He says, tugging at his shirt collar with his index finger nervously. 

You grin and lean over the center console, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you. I’m so excited.” 

Joel smiles at your words and reaches for your hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“I’m glad. I was hopin’ you’d be into this idea. I know it’s not a traditional first date in any sense, but I gotta keep ya on your toes.” Joel winks at you, and you toss your head back with a laugh. 

“Miller, you’ve done that since the first words we spoke to each other at Rosemary’s. I know we’ve only known each other a short time, but I really do like you and it’s nice to be in the company of someone who actually puts thought into things like this. It means a lot.” 

“‘M glad you feel that way, darlin’. It means a great deal that you think so highly of me.” His tone is playful, but his words are sincere. 

“Only ‘cus you literally saved me from being trapped in my car. No biggie.” You huff a laugh, and he wraps his right arm around your shoulder to give your body a light shake. 

You both sit in a comfortable silence before making it to the parking lot. Once you find a parking spot, you  practically drag Joel to the ticket booth to purchase admission into the fair. He couldn’t help but laugh and admire your eagerness. 

“Okay,” He starts, looking at you with hopeful eyes. “Where to first?” 

“I’m actually pretty hungry. Wanna start off with food?” You ask him, and he nods immediately. You link your hand with his, and he lets you keep your fingers interlocked, so you lead him toward the so-called food court of the fair. 

The array of smells coming from every which way had you practically salivating. You ended up getting some wings and fries with a side of fried pickles, while Joel got a turkey leg and blooming onion. 

You make your way to a table and settle in, diving into your food. You push your plate of fried pickles toward Joel, and he happily plucks a couple off the plate and pops them into his mouth. 

“I swear there’s nothing on this Earth like fair food.” He hums, shaking his head as he chews on another fried pickle. 

“Agreed,” You say, eating a couple of fried pickles yourself before you speak up again. “So, tell me about Sarah, if you’d like.” 

Joel’s eyes avert to yours at the mention of her name, and the biggest smile overtakes his features. His eyes crinkle in pure happiness and he’s elated that you want to hear about his baby girl. 

“She’s so charismatic. Most sure fourteen year old you’d ever meet,” He starts with a grin as he begins to gather all the intel about his daughter so he can tell you exactly what she’s like. “She’s so smart, n’ I’m not jus’ sayin’ that ‘cus I’m her dad, but she really does carry such intelligence. She’s witty, funny, sarcastic, and just so damn bright. She easily captivates a crowd in a room with her wit n’ charm, which she obviously gets from me.” Joel boasts with a proud look on his face before shooting you a wink. 

You can’t help but giggle at the way he jokes, but you deeply admire the way he talks about her. You can tell she’s his whole world and more, and seeing a father love his daughter as much as he does warms your heart immensely. 

Joel was starting to show his heart on his sleeve. It was like uncovering invisible ink inch by inch. 

“She sounds absolutely wonderful. I’m sure she keeps you on your toes.” 

“She absolutely does.” He can’t help the pride that blooms in his chest. Raising her as a single parent wasn’t easy, but he made do. He thought he did a pretty good job. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Sarah’s mom?” Joel gave you a sad smile, and maybe that wasn’t territory you should’ve crossed, you think. 

“She left shortly after Sarah was born. Didn’t wanna deal with bein’ a parent so young n’ all. I might’ve raised her all by myself, but her n’ I grew up together. She’s taught me endless love and so much patience.” 

“Oh Joel, I’m sorry–” He shakes his head, stopping you mid-sentence. 

“It’s okay, darlin’. Sarah n’ I navigate life together. That’s just how it is. We’re so used to it that having her mother in the picture would honestly be very weird.” He plucks another fried pickle from your plate, popping it into his mouth with a sly grin. You can’t help but return the smile. 

“Well, thank you for sharing that with me. I’m sure it probably wasn’t easy.” 

Joel shrugs, “It got easier to talk about overtime. Sarah n’ I are great.” 

“Does she know you’re on a date right now?” You’re curious. You don’t want to be the person that suddenly barges into their lives and disrupts their routine or anything. Sarah sounds so sweet, and the last thing you wanted was to intervene between the two. 

“She does, actually. She’s been hecklin’ me to go out n’ date again. She’s on the varsity soccer team at school n’ since she spends so much time with her team, she didn’t want me to be lonely. She was excited when I told her I was goin’ on a date today.” 

“She just wants you to be happy,” You say, and he nods. “Don’t blame her. I’d want the same for you, too.” 

“I am happy. You make me happy. Don’t know what it is about you that’s got me feelin’ so crazy inside. Feels like I’m a teenage boy again.” Joel laughs, and your eyes widen, because that’s exactly how you feel. 

“Joel, that’s—”

You heard your name being called from a short distance away, and your head swiveled around to lock eyes with none other than your sister. 

“Shit.” You say under your breath, and Joel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“What’s the matter?” He asks, but before you could answer, your sister and her fiancé stroll up to the table. 

“Hey sis! Didn’t know you’d be here today.” She has a shit-eating grin on her face, like she just caught you doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. 

“Didn’t know you’d be here either.” You give her a tight-lipped smile, eyes shifting to the man standing beside her. 

“Hi Josh.” You greet him with a small wave, and the sympathy in his eyes is enough of a forewarning that you were going to be in for it from your sister. 

“So who’s this?” Your sister gestures to Joel, and you glare at her briefly. You felt heat creep up your body, feeling a little ticked off. You wanted to keep Joel a mystery just a little longer. 

“This is Joel. Joel, this is my sister and her fiancé Josh.” You introduce them three, and while you’re feeling nothing short of embarrassed, Joel has a big smile on his face as he extends his hand to shake both of theirs. 

“Nice to meet y’all.” He says, and your sister beams. 

“Ah, so you’re the mystery firefighter my sister always gushes about,” She laughs, and you groan and hide your face behind your hands. “Thank you for getting her out of that horrible car accident, by the way.” Her voice was coated with sincerity and gratefulness. 

“‘S no problem, really. I’d rescue her any day.” He looks at you as you peek an eye through your fingers, and he shoots you a wink. 

Your sister ‘aww’s at Joel’s words. 

The heat in your face never wavers and you hide your face again, shaking your head in pure embarrassment. 

“So when’s the wedding?” Joel asks politely, making conversation so awkwardness doesn’t roll over the four of you. 

Your sister can’t help but gleam when she answers him, “August tenth! You should come. It would be so much fun.” 

Your hands evade your face, and you look up at your sister with furrowed brows and a panicked stare. What the hell was she doing? 

Joel looked at you for a second with a small smile, and you wanted so badly to shrink into yourself and let the world swallow you whole. 

“Love to, only if this one would like me to go.” He nudges your foot under the table playfully, and an awkward chuckle escapes you. 

“You’d be subjected to my family if you went, Joel. I’m not sure you’d wanna deal with… all that.” 

Your sister laughs at your words, “She does have a fair point. Our brothers and cousins are quite the rowdy bunch.” 

“I like a challenge.” Joel smirks, eyes locking with yours. 

“I like him even more now.” Your sister laughs, nudging you on your shoulder. 

You shoo her hand away, rolling your eyes. “Okay, okay. It’s up to you, Joel, but I’m giving you a huge warning in advance.” 

He grins at you and grabs your hand from across the table, gently swiping his thumb over your soft skin. 

“Well, It was nice to meet you, Joel. Josh and I are gonna head out and grab a funnel cake.” Your sisters bids you both goodbye, and you and Joel both say your goodbyes before they walk off. 

“God, Joel, I am so sorry. I hope you don’t feel pressured into going to her wedding or anything. I know it’s like a month away and–”

Joel stops you with a kiss to the back of your hand. “Not at all, darlin’. But if you rather I not go, then I won’t. ‘S up to you.” 

“It’s not that–it’s just–,” You sigh, trying to find the right wording. “I’ve been single for so long. My last relationship didn’t end well, and my family is overprotective of me because they don’t wanna see me get hurt again. They can be… a bit much, sometimes.” 

You look at him, and he gives your hand a squeeze. 

“I mean, that’s understandable. Nobody likes seein’ members of their family gettin’ hurt, especially in a relationship. ‘M sorry your last one ended badly, but baby, if you let me, I’d love to give you everythin’ I can. I know this datin’ thing is scary, because hell, it took me so long to say yes to someone’s advances, but I really do like you and I would love to see where this goes.” 

You’re elated by Joel’s words. He was just so damn sweet and you genuinely felt like you didn’t deserve any of this. Dating is a scary thing, and the thought of giving yourself to someone again, letting them in to get to know all of you, terrified you. 

But, your sister's words ring in your head, once again. The world won’t end if you give up an ounce of control. 

“I’m glad you said yes to my advances.” You say, and Joel lifts your hands to his lips once again, giving it several kisses. 

“‘M happy I did, too.” 

-

“So which game do you want to play?” Joel asks, looking back at you as you try to fall into step with him. It was a couple of hours later, the sunset starting to creep in. 

“The water gun game. Love that one.” You grin, and he leads the way to the last two empty seats on the side. Joel hands the man running the game four tickets as you both settle in your seats, and you flash Joel a smirk. 

“Get ready to get your ass handed to you, cowboy.” Your shoulders shake with laughter as he gives you a look. He didn’t expect a competitive side to come out of you, but he liked it. A lot. 

“‘M ready, baby. Don’t hold back now.” He laughs as you both take hold of the metal machines, hovering your thumbs over the red buttons on the top. The bell goes off to start, and you zero in on getting the water into the tiny target. You don’t even think you blink until the bell goes off, signifying that someone won. 

You look up at the poles, and although Joel beat you, neither of you won. Some guy at the other end won and picked out a prize for his girlfriend and gave her a big kiss after she got a big plushie. 

You smile at the scene before you, and Joel notices you looking at them. He was determined to win something for you, because he wanted you to remember this day. 

He leads you over to a ball throwing game where he has to knock down bottles on three tiers of shelves. Nobody else was at the stand, so he got the opportunity to show off and impress you. 

You couldn’t help the way your eyes moved to the rippling biceps beneath the hem of his shirt, trailing them up to his tan neck, to the slightly graying stubble on his jaw, to his plush lips and strong angular nose, and his pretty eyes. His soft brown curls were barely peeking out from under his Stetson, and all you wanted to do was take his hat off and run your fingers through his hair. 

He’s a fucking dreamboat, and you really couldn’t believe that you were able to pull someone like him. 

“This one’s for you, baby.” He turns to wink at you, catching you staring at him. Heat shoots up to your face and you give him a shy smile, watching as he easily knocks down five bottles. Even the game attendant was impressed, and Joel pulled you into his side so you could pick out whichever stuffed animal you wanted. 

You chose a big teddy bear that was squishy, giving Joel a kiss on the cheek and thanking him for winning it for you. 

“So how many teddy bears have you won for previous women? You made that look too easy.” You joke, nudging his side as you both walk away from the game. 

“Mm, around thirty. I’m a regular here.” Joel deadpans. Your mouth drops open in mock offense, and the most guttural laugh erupts from his chest. 

“Jus’ you, baby. Tommy n’ I used to play catch a lot.” He reassures you, and you quirk your brow at him. 

“Better be, Miller, or there’ll be hell to pay.” You poke his chest with no malice behind your actions. 

“I bet there will be, darlin’.” He catches your hand and spins you around so your back is flush against his front, and he kisses your neck. He’s moving ahead of you before you even have time to process what just happened, but excitement zinged through your body at his gesture. 

You walk for about five minutes before you spot a photo booth not even twenty feet away. You stop him in his tracks and look at him with the best pleading eyes you can muster up. 

“Would you hate me if I asked you to take pictures with me?” You nod your head toward the photo booth, and Joel looks taken aback. 

“Hate you? I could never. I’d love to take pictures with you.” 

You guess you didn’t realize your wording before you said it. You were so used to your ex hating things you wanted to do, including taking photos to capture memories. He always made you feel bad about it, so you stopped doing it so much after you broke up. You just didn’t realize that the shitty feeling was still buried somewhere inside you. 

Joel tugs you along to the photo booth, sliding in first. The bench was extremely small, and it was nearly impossible to fit both of you side-by-side. 

“Jus’ sit on my lap.” Joel suggests, spreading his legs and patting his thigh. You swallow harshly and nod, sitting on his lap.

 You both get situated and put the two dollars in the machine before pressing the start button. Joel grabs on to your hips, and you nearly melt into a fucking puddle at his touch. 

It’d been so long since anyone has simply touched you, so your whole body was buzzing with nerves and excitement. 

You both smile for the first photo. You didn’t know what to do next, so you threw up a peace sign, Joel following your lead. For the third photo, you grabbed Joel’s face and gently squished him between your forefinger and thumb, sticking your tongue out.

You look at the screen and realize Joel was staring at you, so you turn your head to look at him. His smile is soft and his eyes are hooded, glancing down at your lips. 

You pluck his Stetson off of his head, covering half of your faces as Joel leans in and closes the gap, kissing you gently. Your body melts into his as you bring your other hand up to his curls, running your fingers through them to cradle the back of his head. His arms tighten around you, and he deepens the kiss, turning his head to the side. 

The last sound of the shutter goes off, but neither of you pull away. The arm holding his hat moves to rest on his shoulder as your lips move in tandem. You don’t know how long you were there just kissing. It was gentle and sweet, but there was a ferocious hunger that was brewing beneath the surface. You both felt it. 

You had to pull away before you lost all control, so you regrettably separated yourself from him. He rubbed his nose against yours, breathing a little ragged, before he leaned back to look at you. 

He cups your face and swipes his thumb over your cheekbone, giving you one last peck as reality trickles back down around you both once more. You put his hat back on his head before standing up from his lap, an unavoidable neediness coursing through your body. 

You grabbed both of the photo strips that were printed, smiling at them when you saw what they looked like. You never thought you’d admit to yourself ever again that you looked good with someone else by your side, but you couldn’t deny the sparkle in your eyes that you saw in the photos—all because of Joel. 

It scared you, truthfully. The thought of relying on someone else for happiness or reassurance just didn’t sit well with you quite yet, but what was the point of it all if you weren’t willing to let yourself just try? 

An hour passed before beautiful hues of orange, purple and pink took over as dusk settled on the horizon of the sky. You and Joel decided to split a funnel cake, but not without getting powdered sugar all over yourselves. 

“You got a little…” Joel trails off as he reaches his thumb out to the corner of your mouth, swiping off some stray powdered sugar before popping his thumb into his mouth. You lick your lips and watch him carefully, the ache of arousal only getting worse. 

“Wanna go on the ferris wheel?” You ask, desperate to distract yourself from your undying want for this man. 

“Love to.” 

You both dust off any powdered sugar left behind on your shirts, walking hand-in-hand to the ferris wheel. Joel gave the ride attendant the last six tickets he had, and you both climbed on. 

You were silent for most of the ride, admiring all the twinkling lights and patrons below. You glance at Joel who was already looking at you once again, and you can’t help the smile from forming. 

“Thank you so much for today. I had a lot of fun.” 

“‘Course, darlin’. ‘M glad I got to do this with you.” 

“Me too. I have some pretty great souvenirs, too.” You clutch onto your teddy bear, and he shakes his head with a laugh. 

The ferris wheel came to a stop, and you realized you were both at the top as you looked down at the fairgrounds below. 

“Would it be super fuckin’ cheesy and cliché if I asked you to kiss me right now?” Joel asks, scooting closer to you. 

“It would,” You start, leaning in to him. “But I don’t care. Be as cheesy and cliché as you’d like.” 

He grins before tipping your chin up with his thumb and forefinger, pressing his lips to yours once more. This time was a bit different. Joel kissed you with more force, neediness coursing through his body just as much as yours. 

He swiped his tongue against your bottom lip, and you immediately parted your lips for him. You couldn’t help the moan that bubbled in your throat as you moved closer to him, gripping onto his bicep. 

It was so easy to get lost in him. It was easy to talk with him, to laugh with him, to be with him. So, so fucking easy. 

You’d never felt this way about anyone before. It was wild to think about, because you just met him not even a month ago, but you could see yourself being so unapologetically happy with him. 

It might’ve been insane to think about that so early on, but your gut was telling you that you finally chose right. 

You were so wrapped up in each other and the heated kiss you were exchanging that you didn’t even realize the ferris wheel started moving again, and you eventually reached the bottom. The ride attendant awkwardly cleared their throat with a tight-lipped smile, and you immediately pulled away from Joel. 

You were mortified as you uttered ‘sorry’ at least five times before getting off the ride with Joel. 

Joel couldn’t help but laugh that you two had been caught, but he couldn’t care less. He felt so himself and so carefree around you. 

“Should we head back to yours?” He asks, a hint of desperation in his tone. You couldn’t even find the right words because your brain was absolute mush, so you just nod your head in agreement. 

The ride home didn’t take long, but as soon as you walked through your apartment door with him and set your prize and purse down, he was on you. He gently pushed you up against the door, hands wrapping around you as one moved down to your lower back. 

He separated his lips from yours for a second, nibbling on your chin. “Is it okay if I touch you?” He asks, voice filled with hope. 

God, please, yes. Touch me everywhere, you think. 

“Yes.” You whisper, and his lips are on yours once again. His tongue invaded your mouth, this kiss even hungrier than it was on the ferris wheel. One of his hands moved down to your ass, and you moaned into his mouth at the touch, fisting the back of his shirt into your hand in desperation. 

He moved you away from the door and walked backward toward your couch, plopping down on it. He immediately yanks your hips down so you’re straddling him, and you gently take the Stetson off of his head before setting it to the side. You crash your lips to his once again, both of your hands cupping his cheeks as you press yourself into his crotch unintentionally. 

Joel groans at the sensation, cock stirring in his jeans as you both continue to invade each other’s mouths, all teeth and tongue. His hands move down to your ass, giving it a squeeze as he guides you to rock your hips against his. 

You don’t even shy away anymore. You want this—you want him. But you had to pace yourself, not wanting to bite off more than you can chew. You ground your hips into his, clit catching perfectly onto the seam of your jeans as you felt his bulge straining against the denim he was wearing. 

“Fuck, Joel.” You whine, biting your bottom lip as you separate your lips from his. 

“I know, baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?” He’s breathless as he moves you a little faster, and you nod your head feverishly. 

“Yeah–yes–fuck, it does. So good.” Your arousal was coating your panties, slick and warm as your cunt ached to be touched. 

Slow. Slow, you had to remind yourself.  

You’d just have to take care of yourself after he left tonight. 

“Fuck–darlin’ I think we should–wait.” Joel tries to find the words as they barely register in his head. 

You slow your hips down, panting against him and you nod. 

“I know. We should take it slow.” You say, and he licks his lips with a nod. 

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I’d love to–I jus’– I haven’t been with anyone in a real long time, and I don’t wanna fuck this up. I wanna do this right.” 

“I know, Joel. I’m with you. I wanna take this slow, too. I like you a lot and I wanna do this right with you as well.” 

Your eyes bored into his brown ones, sparkling with hope and happiness. He kissed your cheek a few times before nosing at your jaw, hands moving up to settle on your hips again. 

He pulled back and looked at you with that same soft smile on his handsome face—a sight you knew you’d never tire of. 

You’d quickly come to a revelation as you stared at him, chest heaving up and down as you desperately tried to catch your breath: you were falling—and this time, you didn’t want to get back up. 

tags: @ilovepedro ; @nostalxgic ; @endlessthxxghts ; @pamasaur ; @clawdee ; @pascalpvnk ; @bensonispunk ; @merz-8 ; @darkblue-tennesseee ; @buckyispunk ; @untamedheart81 ; @picketniffler ; @fluffygoffpanda ; @paleidiot ; @typewriter83 ; @lizzie-cakes ; @sawymredfox ; @keylimebeag ; @nandan11

divider by @saradika-graphics

[loko4koko]

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ex-husband!Matsukawa Issei x f!reader ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

>fanart_credit: Okeidohan (via_twitter)

MDNI 18+

>word_count: 6521

>contents: angst w/ a happy ending, reader on a date with an unnamed oc, alcohol mentions (minor), mattsun being a lil cocky and a lil toxic and a lot possessive, (barely there) hanamaki cameo, brief slut-shaming(ish) moment from reader’s date, fingering (f!receiving), talks of masturbation, squirting, creampie, (minor) breeding kink, multiple orgasms, (minor) overstimulation

there were few things in this life that truly, unequivocally irritated you: traffic, gross coffee, and your ex-husband were a few of the major ones that came to mind. it’d been 8 months since you officially became a “ms.“ again and not “mrs. matsukawa,” and yet the man you’d said your vows to still managed to irk your every nerve. sending you silly memes, calling to talk about his day, offhand flirty comments in your ear like you were still together. it was all so damn maddening.

it was funny, actually, how much he continued to bother you when he was the one who wanted the divorce in the first place. it devastated you, shattered you, when it happened. no one expects for their husband to come home, sit them down and tell them, “this isn’t working anymore.” you didn’t understand at first, how he could say such a thing, when everything felt perfectly fine. but he “wasn’t truly ready” for this and he was “sorry, so sorry for hurting you.” you asked if it was a cover story- if he’d really just been cheating on you and couldn’t bring himself to tell you about his mistress, but he denied the allegations through and through. it almost made it worse, then, that it wasn’t a matter of him falling for another, but just him simply not wanting to be your husband anymore. it ruined you for months, cost you sleep and so many “sick days” from work that you’d almost lost your job. but after a while, you knew you had no choice other than to accept it, move on, get yourself back together again.

moving on is what you’re trying to do right now, actually. seated in a booth at a low lit restaurant, you laugh as the man in front of you tells some story about an outraged lunatic of a client he recently had to deal with at his job. he’s pleasant- easy on the eyes, very sweet, and a real gentleman. it’s your first date with him, your fourth since the divorce, and it was going well so far. it’d been a long time since you were on the scene, only having been married to issei for just over a year, but the two of you had dated for almost 3 before he proposed. it was difficult at first, to dip your toes back into the proverbial dating pool, but you were handling it nicely. the first few men that you’d gone out with ended up not working out, obviously- all for different reasons- but this one wasn’t too bad.

he’s pouring more sake into your glass when you see something familiar out of the corner of your eye, something that makes your heart want to choose between stopping or beating straight out of your chest. you try to calm yourself, tell your brain to stop playing tricks on you and that you’re just seeing things, but then you realize that you aren’t, that you can’t lie to yourself. there’s a mess of black hair on a tall figure, one with their back towards you only briefly before they turn around and you see a face you hadn’t quite expected to see today, let alone here in the restaurant your date chose.

it’s issei, it’s your ex-husband, it’s the man who tore your poor little heart into pieces, right in front of your eyes. you’ve never been terribly religious but you are right now, silent prayers sent up that he hadn’t noticed you- hadn’t noticed that you’re here on a date.

it’d been a few weeks since you’d seen him, when he called about some mail of yours that got sent to his home- your last address. he was as vexing as he usually was, telling you that if you’d wanted it, you’d better come get it soon before it ended up in the trash, so of course you’d hopped into your car later that evening after work. it was a dirty trick, you’d realized in retrospect. issei was an ass but he wasn’t so terrible that he’d throw your stuff away. however, he was so terrible that he’d convince you to hurry to his home under a guise so that he could (attempt to) entice you in with talks of a new bottle of sake. he was shameless, well and truly shameless, but you were unmoved, denying his offer with thanks for it, for keeping your mail out of the trash as you collected the envelopes and walked right back out.

you’re trying your best- to not alarm your date, to not draw issei’s attention, to not have a goddamn brain aneurysm. your date is asking you about your own line of work and you begin to explain, a welcome distraction from the situation at hand. you spare a glance in the direction that your ex-husband was seated- not alone but with his pink-headed best friend, another man you’ve known for too many years, and you find yourself having to look immediately in the opposite direction. issei’s looking at you, they both are, albeit with different expressions on their familiar faces. hanamaki’s is a little stunned, it seems that your look in their direction confirmed to him that it is you, but the other… the man you used to be married to has a head tilted in curiosity, eyes narrowed and a smirk on his lips that you hate to see right now. fuck. fuckfuckfuck.

you give your date a small smile, excusing yourself to the restroom as you grab your purse, willing yourself to walk as normally as you can even though you want to bolt. you’re relieved to be alone in the space, fingers gripping the edge of the sink as you stare into your own eyes. “this can’t be fucking happening..” you say to yourself, but you know that’s a falsehood to keep calm. you take a moment to breathe in deep, wet a paper towel with some cool water to dab on your neck and chest.

it’d been a few minutes and you don’t want the man you’re seated with to be concerned, so you do your best to get it together quickly and make your way back out to the dining area. only you can’t do that, because as you leave the bathroom, your exit is blocked by the lanky nuisance you call your ex-husband. you’re frozen, stopped dead in your tracks at the unexpected roadblock of a man. neither of you speak, your eyes set on his face as his own roam your figure, and you almost regret wearing a dress so formfitting, so low-cut.

“hey, babe,” issei finally says, a picture of smugness and it has your eyes rolling, moving to brush past him but no, no, he won’t let you.

“i am absolutely not doing this with you right now. what are you even doing here? what do you want?” you ask, exasperation evident in your tone.

“what, i can’t even say hi now? see you’re on a date- quite the looker, too. not as much as me, though, that’s for sure.” you’re in disbelief- real, unbridled disbelief at the man before you. there’s just no way he’s serious right now! first, he rudely blocks your path, but now he’s taken to belittling your innocent date?

“you are something else, issei,” you snort, shaking your head, “you do remember that you’re the one who wanted me to sign those papers, right? not the other way around. now if you’ll excuse me, i have a date to get back to. and don’t- don’t do anything stupid.” you slip away before he can say anything else, relaxing your face so as to not raise any questions as you sit back in your seat. you apologize for the delay, reaching for the menu and asking your date what kind of meal he plans on ordering.

an uneventful bit of time passes and you’re fine again, sharing more sake and offering food from each other’s plates to try. you almost forget about the intrusion from a little while ago, keyword there being almost. every now and then you can see issei in your peripheral vision, and damn near every time, his eyes are on you. it’s hard to ignore but you’re doing it, until the last time you look and he’s much, much closer. your eyes widen and you’re subtly shaking your head at the man, but it’s too late, his mind is made up and he approaches your table with a wink that only you can see.

“oh, hey! it’s crazy seeing you here,” issei starts, and the way your name falls from his lips is far too familiar, far too cordial for your taste. “another date already? thought we’d had a good time the other night, i know i did. i mean, we practically broke my bed frame. hey pal, just a warning but this one gets crazy in bed- a real nasty girl, i’m tellin’ ya.” your date looks absolutely appalled, scandalized even, but issei..issei is fucking beaming. there’s revulsion in your date’s eyes and you’re not sure who it’s directed to, you or the bastard that intruded so tactlessly- so offensively. it’s probably both, you think- probably disgust at his learning of your supposed promiscuity, and at issei’s attempt to give him “pointers” about things you like in the bedroom. he gives you no chance to explain, muttering to himself that he should’ve known you were a slut and he’s rising from his chair despite your pleas, your denial of issei’s words. you sadly watch him walk out of the door, and that’s it. he’s gone.

you resign yourself to a literal facepalm, tossing your cloth napkin onto the table as you stare at issei in contempt. “you have some fucking nerve. are you happy now? that i’m alone? is that what you wanted?” you don’t even give him the time to formulate a response before you’re pulling money from your wallet and placing it on the table. you’re not even sure how much the bill is, but you leave more than enough in your haste to remove yourself from this situation. you sling your purse and jacket over your arm and stomp your way out of the restaurant, trying hard to avoid the gaze of nosy onlookers as a few salted streaks leave your eyes. you stand outside, plans gone horribly awry, and your despair grows as you can’t even remember where the hell you parked your car. you realize, when you hear the sound of footsteps approaching, that you’re not alone in the chilled evening air. there’s no second thought as you whip around, black of your eyeliner smudged and wrath in your wide eyes, to see your ex-husband.

“was divorcing me not enough? was leaving me, when i wanted nothing but to be with you, to-to make it work, not fucking enough? i mean, fuck, what is this really about? if you don’t want me then no one should? it feels like you’re punishing me when i did nothing to you- nothing to deserve this. all i ever did, issei, was love you, support you, show you my devotion- and this is the thanks that i get? a divorce i didn’t want and loneliness.” you laugh sardonically, and issei sighs with a shake of his head as he steps towards you. you don’t step away, don’t retract yourself from him, acceptance of what feels like defeat unmissable in your sagged shoulders.

“i didn’t know that i’d see you here tonight- didn’t know i’d see you out with somebody else. i..cant describe the feeling i’d gotten in my stomach when i saw you with him, laughing with him like you used to laugh with me, smiling at him like you used to smile at me. nausea, i guess. jealousy- no, envy, if you really want me to be honest. i envied that man in a way i’ve never felt before.” you look up at him with red-rimmed eyes, taciturn and short-tempered as you are, but you allow him to continue. out of curiosity or something else- something deeper, you don’t know.

“the divorce- the biggest mistake i’ve ever made, was never about me not wanting you. this, tonight? this was never about me not wanting you. did i go about it the wrong way? yeah, yeah i did and i’m not proud of it. that was cruel, and i’m sorry, but i’ve been trying. maybe not hard enough, maybe not in the right ways, but, shit, i’ve been trying, baby. i’ve tried with the phone calls, i’ve tried to get you to come over and stay- just for a minute, just so i can tell you how bad i know that i fucked up. you were-you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me and i was too selfish and immature- thought that if i let you go, i wouldn’t be holding you back. but i can’t pretend anymore, i can’t lie to myself and say that i don’t want you back every fucking day that i wake up. being married to you was the best time of my life by a long shot. seeing a face this beautiful everyday, getting to laugh with you, eating every meal with you, pulling you in close when you’d steal the blankets ‘cause you were cold- you were always so cold at night- i miss it all. i miss you whenever i do anything ‘cause you were always there. you’re always a part of me, even when you’re apart from me. and i don’t want you to be apart from me anymore.”

your eyes feel heavy, almost as heavy as your heart, and you swallow thickly. his own eyes look sincere- a plea in the darkness that crushes you under its weight. there’s two parts of you- one pushing, one pulling. one that wants to leave him standing here, leave him in the emptying street just like he left you. but the other part- the stronger part, the one that loves him so intensely, that made him hot tea and soup when he was sick, that ugly-cried at his vows on your wedding day, that part wants you to stay. you stare at him for a long moment, battle between love and loathing waging inside of you.

“you’re…an idiot. you know that, right?”

issei doesn’t know whether to frown or to jump for joy. you are insulting him, sure, but you’re also still actually speaking to him. he considers it a good thing. he scratches the back of his neck, nervous huffs of laughter escaping through his nose.

“yeah, i know, babe. i’m an idiot who needs you, though.” you roll your eyes, a fond smile on your face. issei’s stepping closer to you, his large hands gentle as they wrap around your waist. it’s a strange feeling, to be held by him like this. it’s one you’d felt so many times over the years and then very suddenly not at all, not until now. you miss it.

your eyes are wide, full of hope when issei leans down, lips so close to yours. “come home,” he says softly, “need you home, need you with me.” he doesn’t give you time to answer, though, because his lips are fully on yours. he kisses you so lovingly, so longingly that it steals your breath right from your lungs. one of his hands comes up to cup the side of your face and he tilts your head just how he wants you, tongue unfaltering as it prods its way between your lips. he soaks up the way you sigh into the kiss, the way your hands find shelter on his biceps, the way you’re still as teasing as you were before- teeth catching his lip as you giggle.

you pull away from the kiss first, cheek warm against issei’s palm and you blink up at him. “take me home, ‘sei.” he grins, something triumphant in his eyes as he picks you up and tosses you over his shoulder, your laughter and shouts of protest being ignored by the tall man.

it’s only a short minute before you’re in issei’s car, on your way back to issei’s home. the ride isn’t long either, but it is full of tension. issei drives with one hand on your thigh the whole time, and when he has to stop, he’s leaning over to catch your lips again. you think this is what deja vu must feel like, because it just feels so familiar to be here- in issei’s car with his fingers splayed out on your thigh, in the driveway of a place you called home for so long. he smiles at you after he puts the car in park and takes the keys from the ignition, quickly exiting so he can open your door and usher you inside the house.

there’s a hand on your lower back as you enter the house, and the nostalgia of it all hits you harder. so many times had you come home like this after a night out, issei’s greedy hands touching you anywhere he felt like touching. those nights often ended with him between your thighs, or behind you, or- you have to blink the thought away as you feel your cheeks flushing, feel issei’s gaze on you. he sinks down to his knee, dark eyes still on yours and you gasp when he takes a hold of your calf. his fingers are reverential, worshipping as they glide across your skin to wrap around your ankle. he pulls your heel off, kisses your calf, and repeats the process on the other side. when he rises back to full height, he leaves a fleeting kiss on your lips and takes your hand, guiding you to the kitchen.

there you were, glass full of sake in hand as you sit on the counter. issei isn’t far, leaned back against the counter just to the left of you, smile on his face as he rambles tipsily. you have to admit, you’re only half paying attention, more stuck on the way that he licks his lips, the way that he cuts his eye to look over at you when he thinks you don’t notice. you sip your drink, mischievous glare behind the glass as your free hand creeps to meet his on the counter. he’s startled out of his rambling, looking down to see your hand on his, and when he looks back up at you, all he can do is grin. he sits his own glass down before stepping in front of you, hands caging you in on either side of your hips. he’s so obvious, so extraordinarily lacking in subtlety, with how his eyes linger on your plump pout, on the oh-so-perfect way your tits threaten to spill out of your dress. he ogles for a moment before he locks eyes with you again, and god, he can’t believe he let someone as beautiful as you go for even a second. the way you stare at him- so enamored and forgiving and lustful, he truly thinks it could drive a man crazy.

“‘m never lettin’ you go again, baby, never gonna fuck up that bad again,” he murmurs against your lips. your eyes slip shut and his nose nudges yours when he leans in all the way, lips gliding over each others in a kiss laden with desperation and yearning. his hands move to your hips and yours are on his shoulders, the two of you in something like a competition to see who can pull the other closer. your lips are so sweet to him, your tongue much like a lollipop that he wants to suck on all day. you’ve always tasted good, every little part of you, and issei’s been without his fill for too long now. the little sighs and soft whimpers that leave your lips are icing on the metaphorical cake that is kissing you.

“lemme make it up to you, baby,” he groans in between exchanges of saliva, “can i show you how sorry i am, hm? show you how much i missed you?”

you nod, unwilling to remove your lips from issei’s when he bites at your lip like that and it’s okay because he doesn’t need you to. his hands leave your hips in favor of sliding down your thighs, stopping when he reaches the hem of your dress. you’re a smart girl, don’t even need him to tell you to plant your hands on the counter and lift your ass and thighs up a bit so he can shove your dress up and your pretty little thong down.

the kitchen counter is cool against the skin of your thighs, a stark contrast to how warm issei’s palms are as they spread your legs apart. he separates from your mouth with a smack, gossamer strings of one another’s spit keeping you connected, and rests his forehead on yours. his fingers finally find treasure between your legs, fingertips already sticky as they sweep up and down your slit. you suck in a sharp breath, eyes not leaving his while he toys with your cunt.

“this pretty pussy still gets so wet for me. did you ever think about me? when you were with those other guys? did you get wet like this for them?” he gives you no warning as he plunges his middle and index fingers inside you, eyes squeezing closed in a long blink while your jaw falls open. he sets an unwavering pace, hand on your thigh coming up to cup your chin. his stare feels like an interrogation, so confident in his ability to pick you apart in every way possible. he’d know if you lied, could see it in your eyes and feel it with the pads of his fingers buried in your oozing cunt.

“i, f-fuck, i didn’t fuck a-anyone else, ‘sei,” you whimper, “only wanted you- only get this wet f-for you.” issei groans at your words, grip on your chin so tight as he forces you into another searing kiss. his fingers don’t slow their pace, thumb coming up to press down on your clit as his tongue rolls across yours- over your teeth and lips.

“that’s my girl. i didn’t either, baby, couldn’t even think about it. just kept fucking my fist to the thought of you, how pretty you look suckin’ me off or cummin’ on my cock.” the needy moan you let out has issei straining in his pants, and shit, is he wrecked for you already. he’s obsessed- with you and the pretty faces you make, with the way you whine his name, with how you clench and throb and gush around his fingers. he’s utterly intoxicated by every little thing that you have to offer, and he drinks it up greedily.

issei knows practically everything about you, so it’s no surprise that he remembers exactly how to find it- that cushiony little place inside you that makes you cry out when he presses against it. he’s so cruel, so abusive to your g-spot, pushing his fingers deep inside you to hit that button over and over again. he knows when you’re close, too, knows how you leak and flutter around whatever he’s got inside of you.

“‘sei, please,” you whine, voice hoarse and shaky with need. your fingernails are digging into his shoulders as he looks up from where his hand disappears inside of you to meet your eye. he steals another quick and sloppy kiss from you, hammering his fingers inside of you so hard that you can’t help your gasping moans.

“please what? you wanna cum, angel? do it then, cum all over my hand- cum for me.” he brings his free hand up to snake into your hair, gripping tight at the roots in an effort to keep your mouth from leaving his. it didn’t take long for you to fall apart, thighs spasming around his wrist and pussy spasming around his fingers as you brokenly sob his name against his lips. your chest heaves, cunt still squelching and squishing as issei slows his digits to a stop while you come down from your high.

it’s issei’s turn to moan contentedly as he slides his sticky fingers into his mouth, sucking and licking every last bit of you that coats the skin. he gives you a smile when he’s finished with his meal, and you taste yourself on his lips and tongue when he slots your mouths together again.

“gonna fuck you right here, baby, right in the kitchen like we used to,” he drawls, watching as your hands move to undo his belt and fly, “couldn’t eat in here while you were gone without thinking about how many times i’d stuffed you full right on the table.” you look up from your task to grin at him, shaking your head as you finally get the zip down.

“yeah, i couldn’t make breakfast without you waking up just to bend me over,” you snort, shoving his slacks and boxers down. his cock springs free and fuck, he’s so hard. he’s long, a little girthy with a curve to the left and the tip is blushing, leaking precum as it comes to slap against his stomach.

“shouldn’t’ve been lookin’ so goddamn good every time- bein’ a sweet little wife and cooking for me, how could i not just give you my cock?” his laughing tone is cut off with a hiss, eyes falling from yours to where your hand is wrapped around him between you. your grip is so warm on his already hot skin but he couldn’t care less, not when he’s been missing your hands on him for as long as he has. your free hand comes to mirror his earlier actions, fingers digging into his chin and jaw as you cup his face. he takes a breath before his eyes open back up and when he focuses, it’s you that’s staring up at him so amorously- so covetous in your gaze on him.

“fuck me, ‘sei. show me how much you missed me.” it’s like a switch flips in issei at your words, cravings for you back in full force as he takes your hands off of him with a strong grip on your wrists. he’s got his tongue back in your mouth in an instant, so bruising and eager as it takes in your flavors. he lifts your hands up to his shoulders in silent instruction, his own coming to grip the base of his cock in one and your hip in the other. the man is so teasing even when he’s just as insatiable as you, dragging his cock head between your folds, against your clit until you breathily plead for him. he could never deny you, not like this, so he obliges and starts the breach into your sopping pussy. he’s so slow, so careful in how he stretches you open around him that you don’t even care that your head hits the cabinet when it falls back.

“fuck, i missed you, baby. missed you and this pussy. suckin’ me in like you never want me to leave, shit,” he curses, hands tight on your hips as he begins to rock in and out of you. he loves the way you shudder and keen for him already when he’s barely given you anything yet, and if he were a better person, he’d warn you about what he’s going to give you. he isn’t, however, so he doesn’t.

issei drags his lip between his teeth as he pulls out of you, leaving only the very tip of his cock in your sweltering heat before he’s driving back into you, harder this time, faster. you wail at the abrupt change in his pace, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he sheathes himself into you on repeat. your legs are quivering around his lithe hips, panties dangling from your ankle as it bobs with the force of issei’s jackhammering thrusts into your sopping hole.

“you feel so good, baby, y’always have,” he rasps, drawing your attention back to him as you meet his gaze with lust-clouded eyes. “so stupid for me to think i could give you up, not when you’re so kind, so pretty, so fucking wet, so you.” it’s so hard to reply, so hard to do anything but moan his name as you clench your drooling cunt down on his length. he drags you to the very edge of the counter by the fat of your hips so you’re forced against his chest, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he pounds into you voraciously. his hands are rough as they slide up your thighs to grip you under the knee, keeping you spread so wide you know you’re going to feel it for at least a few days.

“couldn’t let that guy have you, baby- fuck-couldn’t let him have my wife,” his voice is husky, low in your ear when he speaks. “you belong here, at home, getting fucked dumb on my dick.” you’re trying to pay attention, really, you are; but it feels like a mission impossible to catch every word when his heavy cock lays assault on your g-spot.

“yeah, ‘m home, fuck me dumb,” you pant, nails leaving crescent shapes in the skin of issei’s neck and shoulders. it’s something you’d feel bad about if he cared- if he didn’t fuck you so full and deep and all-consuming.

the sound in the room is such a lewd combination- the slapping of skin on skin, your gasps and whines and little ‘unh unh unh’s, issei’s harsh breathing and grunts. he feels your cunt pulsing around him and he knocks into you even more crushingly than before, separating you only slightly so he can see your face.

“c’mon, baby, i can feel how close you are. lemme feel it, angel, cum on my cock,” he groans, one hand leaving its position on your leg to slip between you and rub quick, merciless circles onto your clit. you let out a long, unrestrained sob and let your head fall back again, unable to fight off the carnality of your pleasure.

“‘sei, ‘m cummingggg! fuck- i love you, love you s’ much.” your pussy is palpitating around his cock like a heart, which is entirely fitting when he’s so deep it feels like his cock is in your chest. you want to be embarrassed about how much your slick flows out of you, coating issei’s cock and the counter below you in a shiny essence, but you can’t think about it, can’t think about anything at all. your vision goes white for a moment and you’re sure that this here is what people mean when they say “rapturous.”

issei fucks you through it, keeps massaging your puffy clit with his long fingers and your hips are still jerking even after it’s over. he’s got his lips on your neck and you soon learn that he’s actually talking, when your hearing finally returns to you.

“nobody can make my wife cum like i do- know you inside and out, baby. ‘s why you belong with me, huh? belong with someone who fucks you like this,” he growls against your throat. he bites down on the sensitive flesh and you whimper, grip on him tightening as he picks you up from the back of your knees. he’s still heavy and hard inside you as he lays you onto the dining table. the way he stares down at you almost makes you want to shrink, his need to devour you and claim you so easy to spot in his features. the large hands that held you now make their way to the straps of your dress, pulling them off of your shoulders just enough that he can yank the front of your dress down. the first thing you can feel is the cold air hitting your pebbled nipples, and the second is the roughness of issei’s hands as he squeezes and tugs on the nubs, not satisfied until you pathetically whine his name.

there’s no preamble, no warning when he starts to roll his hips into yours again. he’s plowing into you so hard already that you can feel the table shaking beneath you, and you reach for him in instinct but he’s so mean, hands holding your wrists down against the table.

“want you to marry me again, baby. you gonna marry me again, right?” he questions you, eyes pinning you down with a gaze as heavy as iron. it’s a loaded question, really- you know that whether you say yes or no, he’s just going to fuck you harder. you bite your lip as his cock digs against your g-spot and decide to nod- lesser of two evils, and something you’ll think about when he isn’t kissing your womb with his fat tip.

“say it,” he groans, bending over you to nose along your throat. he maps his way up to your ear, tugging the lobe between his teeth before planting a kiss on the shell. “say it for me, baby.”

issei gives you a particularly harsh thrust- one that knocks the air out of your lungs and you sob, back arching off of the abused dining table. “‘m gonna- ah!- ‘m gonna marry you, ‘sei. wanna be your wife again,” you murmur, cock-drunk and being hurled over and over into orgasm too much for your brain to handle. issei is satisfied with it, though. he takes full height again as his heavy cock twitches inside of you and he uncurls one of his hands from yours, slipping it between you to thumb casually at your clit.

“mmh- fuck yeah, you are. yeah, you’re gonna be my wife and you’re gonna cum, right?” you hate so badly that you have to give him the satisfaction- but he’s right. you’re so close you can taste it, can feel it deep in the pit of your belly, and you need him. you nod, breathless and hazy, and he gives you a pleased little grin, circling of your clit more deliberate now. his free hand takes your leg and splays it against his chest, your ankle at his ear and he hisses as you take him so much deeper.

there’s no time to warn him before it happens, no time for words of caution because it even shocks you. the coil within you snaps, back arching as you cry so pretty for him. your hands search desperately for purchase and land on issei’s shirt, wrinkling the fabric in your fists while you sob and writhe. the flood that comes out of you is a welcome surprise to issei, who moans out an “oh, fuck” as he’s drenched in your spray of cum. everything’s so wet now, much wetter than before- so sticky when his pelvis meets your ass. he keeps driving his hips into you, keeps his rough thumb on your slippery clit and it’s all so fucking much to process.

“see, baby? nobody else can make you squirt on their fucking dick like that. you’re mine, y’were made for me. now, you’re gonna be a good girl and take my load, right?” he knows what he says might as well be rhetorical because you’re not gonna give him a true, proper answer. but he’s fine with it, as long as you keep making those pretty little noises and clenching his cock so tight like that.

issei’s close, nails digging into your thigh as he twitches inside you. his hair clings to his forehead with sweat, shirt half unbuttoned, half drenched in your juices, and he looks so debauched. and he is- has no choice but to be when it comes to you, when it comes to being inside your velvet heat that wants to wring the cum out of his cock. his breathing is picking up, little huffs of warm air hitting your leg as he ruts into you.

“f-fuck, ‘m gonna cum, baby. you still on the pill? hope not, maybe this one’ll take, huh? if not, that’s ok- i’ll just keep cumming and cumming in this tight little cunt until it does,” he grunts, head falling back and hips stuttering as he fills you with rope after rope of his hot seed. you moan with him, sensitive as you are, while he rides his orgasm out, chest heaving and thighs twitching. issei stares at you from above as he catches his breath, cock slowly softening inside of you but he doesn’t pull out yet, opting instead to drop your leg from his shoulder and back to his hip before he leans down to meld your lips with his in a tender kiss. he slips his arms underneath you, gathering you up into his hold and you gasp, startled as you’re lifted from the table.

“‘sei- what- put me down!” you whine, hissing in overstimulation at every step he takes with his semi-hard dick still inside of you. he ignores you in favor of taking you to the bedroom, dropping you on to the bed you’d once shared, except now the sheets smell only of him. you huff as you pout up at him but he just laughs, dragging his fingers up your sides.

“you didn’t think i was done with you, didya, baby? gotta show my wife just how much i missed her.” he begins to stir his hips again, somehow fully hard already, and somewhere in your mind you know that this is going to be a very, very long night.

it’s bright and warm the next day- a perfect day to move your stuff back home, issei says to you. you’re doing just that, starting simple with clearing out your closet while he does the drawers. there’s a dress in your arms that you’re about to lay out to fold when issei whistles, drawing your attention towards him. he turns to you, smirk on his face and goddamnit, you hadn’t even noticed that he went straight for your underwear drawer- but the skimpy, lavender colored g-string in his hands tells you that.

“give me those!” you scold, reaching to snatch them up but you curse him and his height as he holds them high up over your head.

“oh, absolutely not. these? these are going in my pocket so you can wear them for me tonight.” he snickers, shoving them in his pants pocket when you playfully roll your eyes and back off.

you can’t help but laugh with him, in too high of spirits to be truly annoyed with his antics, to be disgruntled with packing and moving. nothing could bother you, not now when you get to be with issei again, not when he woke you up this morning with languid kisses and whispers of how lucky he was that you wanted to be with him. starting over with him would take work, but it was work that you were both happy and willing to do for each other- for your second marriage.

>authors_note: if mattsun divorced me i would probably kms tbh 👨‍🦯 but anyways i hope u all enjoy!!

>p.s./announcement: i will be opening up for requests soon so have a look at my pinned post for more info!

>thank you for reading ♡

>masterlist.exe

© loko4koko 2023

[streets-in-paradise]

Matured Desire - Achilles x (Fem) Reader

Troy (2004) Oneshot

Requested by Anon

" hiya! I have an Achilles request, what if they’ve both been sort of enemies for the longest time ever since they were kids, and at one point he gets fed up, and kisses her roughly ending up in the roughest kinkiest sex people could think of (tying up, choking, spanking, dirty talk, dom x sub, sort of a hate fuck.) please! "

Hi! I'm a bit nervous because this is my first time writing a full piece of smut, but I did my best and i hope you will enjoy it. The plot for the childhood rivalry is inspired in greek mythology, but adapted to how the story of the film plays out regarding characterzations.

Warnings: Rough hate fuck against a wall - hair pulling -chocking - spanking - lots of dirty talk.

Summary: Your eternal rivalry with Achilles gets you the attention of the mycenaean king In the context of his country wide search for a queen. Bringing up your troubled past together, the myrmidon believes you are seeking an union with Agamemnon to get the power to destroy his life.

As he confronts you about it, your tensions get to a critical point when the warrior concludes he will have to do something out of it. Your hatred remains too close to passion and he can only ruin you for any other man before you could ruin his lifetime's ambitions.

Tags: @thorsslxve

There was nothing Achilles despised more than the cheerfullness of Agamemnon. Not only because it usually meant bad news, but also due to how insufferable he tended to become on a good mood. His arrogance was high up to the sky contesting with his. Since the king felt in constant need to compete with his best warrior, it was important for him to brag on his every achievement.

On that particular moment, it was about the bride he would get for himself. After his brother married the most beautifull woman in the world he started to reconsider the lack of a queen in his palace and commanded every king of Greece to pick one of their unwed daughters so he could pick a wife among the princesses of the region. All the generals of his army were invited to witness the contest, and a handfull of kings he considered friends were there as well.

It was a power display to cause envy. A parade of the most ravishing girls of Greece after Helen circling the King in some sort of reverse parody of what happened when the spartan queen was still a maiden wanted by a multitude of suitors. The myrmidon found it hilarious, but that entertainment came with the price of standing the triumphal bliss of his rival.

In order to avoid an early scandall making fun of him, Achilles tried to distract himself watching the girls. They were all veiled for the future groom, only showing their faces when he commanded each one to introduce themselves. Beauty from all over the country was gathered there and while their faces remained covered he could still have a fun cassually checking their bodies.

He found a personal favorite quite soon. The light clothes of her fancy purple dress allowed him to perfectly picture her shape underneath, occupying his imagination in more pleasant thoughts. One by one her contestants did their thing, but he followed her with expectancy for the big reveal.

All traces of amusement abandoned the warrior's face when he recognized you. From all his many daughters, King Lycomedes had to pick you in representation of Scyros. It was unfortunately true for him that you had become a very desirable woman, so the choice was understandable, but you were one his enemies of longest date. Since he was a kid hidding in your father's court, and when you were teenagers you almost got him kicked out of there.

Everytime you crossed ways, disaster happened.

It was an unspoken theory, but he believed it all started because you were jealous of your sister. She was his first crush, and you told your father about it after you discovered them making out. Lycomedes would have kicked him out if Odysseus wouldn't have discovered his disguise in the first place, but your hatred didn't end with that.

Only a heartbroken girl would react so viscerally, the hate you hoarded for years didn't make sense otherwise. He believed you still despised him because you couldn't have him and once that childhood crush matured into desire things could only escalate. You would never forgive him for being your first love, but the passion of your hate showed your flame never got extinguished.

As soon as circunstancies allowed it, you were mesmerizing the mycenaean king with your disdain for his soldier.

" Achilles! Long time no seen. " You saluted him, with poisonous cordiality. " How are things going in your kingdom of savages? Well, only if that can be called a kingdom. Nowadays it's a military reserve of Mycenae you don't even rule as king. "

The myrmidon was visibly calm, calculating his strike before delivering it.

" How is Deidamia? I remember her with such strong affection."

" She is married. " You responded, with false propriety. " Happyly married, thanks to our protectiveness of her keeping scum away."

The wedding of his teenage crush didn't bother him at all, but he still manage to utilize it against you.

" I always knew she was going to make it before you. Look now where you ended: pleasing an old man that could be your father. "

You showed a tranquilzing smile to the king, mere witness of your altercate that was untill then very amused.

" Don't worry, your majesty. Achilles tends to act like this arround me because my presence reminds him of details that ruin the appeal of his legend. He wants no one to remember he spent his younger years hidding in my palace dressing on girl's clothes so your emisaries wouldn't find him. Have you seen the baby face of his little cousin? He has the same girly features he used to have back then."

Agamemnon was in awe with the slander. Even if it was just for that, you were becoming a strong favorite.

" Well, my dear. I hope you have some good stories for me. "

" She is the only person in the country who is more obsessed with me than you. " Achilles recalled, determined to ruin your plans. " She went as far as turning her father against me saying i was going to sleep with her sister. "

The way in which he twisted the facts to make it sound like a conspiracy against him got out the worst of you.

" I was the onlyone seeing past your charm, and time proved I was ríght now that we all know of your amatory adventures. " You fiercely defended yourself. " You were a reckless boy that had just discovered the thing hanging between his legs and was eager to try it on the first foolish girl available. Deidamia was too naive, but I knew better. By warning my father I protected her and saved our royal house from the shame of being stucked with a fatherless mess like the one you were when we received you. "

It crossed límits, but he wasn't afraid of returning the hatefull gesture.

" I think your boyfriend deserves to know where all that hate for me comes from before taking his choice. " He teased you ríght away. " You are my Phaedra … "

He had just compared you to the most sexually frustrated queen in greek history, whose vengefull spite was rooted on being ignored by the object of her desires.

" You insolent BASTARD!!! " You called him out before you could loose your temper and try to smack him. " Better start praying I won't be crowned queen. "

The warning left a bad taste in his mouth that was stronger than the altercate. Imagining you as Agamemnon's bride was a nightmare on itself because of the implications of a teaming up against him, but there was more that he couldn't simply admit.

He hated you, but couldn't stand the thought of seeing you with him. He still attempted to understand why you were so Interested on giving yourself to that pig of a king. Could your thirst for vengeance have gone that far? Where you capable of tolerating Agamemnon as your husband just so you could get some control over him? It was most likely that you had no idea of where you were stepping in, since your island once sheltered him safely because they didn't have much contact with the mycenaeans.

Figuring out what you were all about was his most inmediate need but, for that, he needed to talk to you in private. All day he awaited untill the oportunity to get lost with you presented itself during a lousy banquet. Following you closely as you intended to leave, he catched you off guard in a hallway.

" You knew this was coming, now follow me. "

Your playfull smirk spoke for you before you did.

" What If I don't? "

He grabbed you harshly, keeping your wrist still.

" We will do it the hard way. "

There was no choice, so you let him guide you through the foreign palace searching for the nearest room he could lock you in. Achilles secured the door behind him, knowing from then you were going to be completely alone.

" After comparing me to the thirsty wife of Theseus, you drag me away like this? " You mocked him ríght away. " Have you no shame? "

The tension was escalating slowly, but consistently.

" I have no time for your games, so you better tell me what I want to know. "

You chuckled lightly, enjoying yourself in this curiosity.

" Go ahead, i'm feeling generous. "

He groaned out of angered frustration, clearly fed up with you already.

" What do you want from Agamemnon? Do you expect me to believe you really are excited to the chance of being his wife? "

You response was calm and you were aware that would provoke him.

" He is the wealthiest, most powerfull man in Greece, and he hates you … Two qualities I find irresistible. "

He pushed you against a wall, barely able to control his rage to continue the interrogation.

" Do you think i'm a fool? You can't possibly wish for anything but the power to destroy me through that marriage. "

His strong hand grabbed your neck and squeezed, cutting off your air with ease. Achilles wanted to force a truth out of you, but couldn't help noticing you were peraphs too on board with that before releasing you so you could speak.

" I want an empty palace where i can sit on a throne. " You began to explain once you catched your breath. " While he will be away with you doing his wars, i can do what I want here. "

It wasn't enough for him.

" … And when he will want to touch you? Are you going to spread your legs for him like a good little wife ? "

His hand was once more arround your neck, quietly threatening with more choking depending of your answer.

" Are you trying to scare me? That's not going to work with me. " You mischievously warned him. " I'll do what it takes, my duty of queen. Agamemnon can have me, I will even fake my moans if i have to just to keep him satisfied. I'm fine with that, he has to get something out of the deal. I will take care of his throne and meet his sexual needs "

The answer awakened something primal on him.

" Not if I ruin you first … "

Sick of pretending to ignore the frustrating tension, he pulled you in for a rough kiss and you responded taking one of your hands to the back of his neck to pull his hair.

There was no way out for you from then.

Achilles ripped off the safety pins of your dress so it would fall on the floor. Once you were naked against him he began to tease you again.

" Look at how easily I destroyed your pride … Yet you dare to deny you are a needy whore. "

You didn't stay behind, iniciating another passionately hatefull kiss while your hands worked in undressing him. The godly shaped hero allowed you to roam his perfectly sculped body and you sank your nails in his hips before replying.

" You are only good at killing or fucking and you loathe me enough for either, so unless you want to spear me … "

The recklessness was paid at high cost when he turned you over so you will be facing the wall, head posicioned firmly to the side.

" I'm going to make you feel as if I was killing you. " He whispered against your ear in a husky tone. " But first, you will learn to respect me. "

You flinched with anticipation, incapable of predicting what he would do. Then, his hand started following the trace of your back all the way down and stopped in the curve of your ass.

A soft squeeze was followed by a hard spank that sounded as strongly as it felt. It send a wave of confusing, pain-stained pleasure all the way to your core, but you tried to keep still. He persisted, untill it became so intense that your knees were failing and you were about to cry.

" Who are you going to spread your legs for now? " He asked in a mock. " Are you going to be my obedient little whore? "

You lost the few shame you had left with one more slap on the mistreated surface of your asscheck.

" YES, YES! " You practically cried out. " I'll be, … I'll be your whore. I want it so badly, please! "

Achilles released a dark chuckle.

" Let's see how bad you really want it. "

He had barely reached the surface of your soaked cunt with his fingertips and you were already buckling your hips in desperation to find friction.

" Dripping wet, you nasty whore. " He commented and removed the hand to watch you fall apart. " Stop whimpering, i'm not going to keep touching you. Caresses are not what you deserve."

Suddenly, you felt the tip of his hard cock teasing your folds. Arrousal had reduced you to a pathetic mess and he got to hear you sobbing from that contact.

" No mercy, I will be rammering you. " He warned you. " … and you are going to take it. "

With that, he pushed himself inside you. Absolutely careless for your needed time adjusting to his size, he began his mercieless thrusting using you for his pleasure. The animalistic grunts he was making and the exquisite painfull pleasure of being fucked like that were soon going to become to much for you.

Achilles had completed his vengeance to control you before you could control him: you were ruined for any other man.

[antiquitiesandlabyrinths]

. . .Osiris

Osiris (Great and Beautiful is He) is the God of the Underworld; its King and Pharaoh ruling over the Duat. He is pictured here on the far left, His skin green and His body in mummiform. This is commonly how He is depicted; as a green-skinned, mummified man.

Son of Nut, the Sky Goddess, and Geb, the Earth God, Osiris was the first King of Egypt in accordance with Kemetic mythology, although there are stories that recount Geb, His father, being King before Him. There are a great deal of myths and stories that surround and involve Osiris, and I suppose it is important to at least skim over them before discussing hard facts about Him, as it gives some reference as to who He is and what the culture surrounding Him is like.

Osiris Myth

After the world was created, the Demiurge (who changes according to myth, and can be Neith, Ra, Amun, Ptah, or others) produces children; in the most popular form of this creation story, it is usually Ra who births the first Gods. They are Shu and Tefnut, Air and Moisture. Shu and Tefnut then form a union and birth two children of Their own: Nut and Geb, Sky and Earth. Nut and Geb were very much in love and refused to separate from each other, which, of course, caused a problem, because if the sky and the earth are eternally in contact, there is no space for anything to live and walk upon the earth. Ra made it so Nut and Geb were forever separated, by having Shu, air, stand atop Geb and hold Nut up as the sky. But Nut was already pregnant. When Ra discovered this, He was enraged, and forbade Nut from ever giving birth on any day of the year.

Nut cried to Djehuty (Thoth), and Thoth devised a plan. He went to Khonsu, God of the Moon, and set up a gamble, saying that every round of the game Senet Khonsu lost, He would have to give Nut some of His moonlight. Khonsu ended up losing so many times that Nut had enough moonlight for five days––five days that weren't in the calendar. This allowed Her to give birth on those five days, and on each day She had a different child; Ausir (Osiris), Wr-Heru (Horus the Elder), Sutekh (Set, Seth), Auset (Isis), and Nebet-Het (Nephthys). Nut and Geb were still forever separated by atmosphere (Shu), but the five Gods were birthed, and Osiris, as the eldest son, became King of the Living World.

As a side note, all Gods do have ancient Egyptian names which are different from Their Greek and now modern names. For convenience's sake, and to avoid confusion, I will use the names They are most known by; Their Greek/modern names. And as another side note, there are a lot of variations on this story. I will be piecing together a lot of different ideas but I will be leaving some things out for the sake of cohesion.

When Osiris came to Egypt, He found the people there to be chaotic and lawless. As King, He instituted laws and spread ma'at, which is truth, justice, harmony, and order. Egypt flourished under His rule and the people were incredibly happy, as all were equal, and with the fertility of the God-King, the crops were always bountiful and food was plenty. He brought not only law and prosperity, but also the right way to worship, and the teachings of agriculture.

Set, God of chaos, confusion, the desert, and of foreigners, and the youngest brother of the Ennead, grew to be quite jealous of His older brother. There are many variations and the most popular variation of this story comes from the end of the New Kingdom (1550-1070 BC), where Set fashions a fabulous coffin in the perfect measurements of Osiris, throws a party, and tells the party-goers that whomever the coffin fits may have the coffin as a gift. When Osiris fits perfectly, Set quickly shuts and bolts the coffin and throws it in the Nile (this version of the myth gives an origin to the idea that people who drowned in the Nile were holy). His coffin drifts downstream and into the Mediterranean, where it washes ashore in Phoenicia, in Byblos. The coffin wedges itself into a growing tamarisk tree, a tree which envelops the coffin. Eventually the tree is cut down and used as a pillar in the palace in Byblos.

Isis, Osiris' wife and sister, searched far and wide for Her husband, and did eventually find Herself in Byblos. The story is quite long and complicated, but in the end She convinced the King to give Her the pillar, and when she returned to Egypt, She hid Osiris in a swampy area of the Nile delta, and bade Her sister, Nephthys, to watch over Him while She went in search of healing herbs. But Seth heard that Osiris was back, and so after interrogating His sister-wife, Nephthys, He found Osiris, cut His body into pieces, and threw them into the Nile.

Isis was horrified at what transpired in Her absence, but She immediately set to work on finding the many pieces of Her husband with the help of Her sister, Nephthys. They managed to find every piece of His body except His phallus, which had been eaten by an oxyrhyncus fish, a fish that was thus forbidden to eat.

With the pieces of Osiris reassembled, and the healing powers of Isis in full power, Osiris was brought back to life, but incomplete. Isis assumed the form of a kite, and from above drew out the seed of Osiris, impregnating Herself with Their child: Horus the Younger. But Osiris, still incomplete, could not properly rule over the land of the living any longer.

This is why He is the ruler of the dead––He was once the king of the living, was killed, and was resurrected, and this is what every ancient Egyptian expected and hoped would happen to them: that they would die and be resurrected. In tombs and mortuary temples you will always see Pharaohs associating themselves with Osiris.

But this long myth I have just told you is not the only version of the story, and in my opinion, it is definitely the longest version of the story. Back in the Old Kingdom and Middle Kingdom there were several different versions; for example, Set's motive is different, ranging from revenge for Osiris kicking him, to revenge for Nephthys (Seth's sister-wife) sleeping with Osiris (which eventually births Anubis). Some texts claim that Seth took on the form of a wild animal, such as a crocodile or a hippopotamus, and killed Osiris that way. In others, Osiris is drowned. In some, the steps surrounding the coffin are skipped, and Osiris is simply cut up, and His pieces scattered around Egypt; a version which explains the many cult centers of Osiris claiming to be a place where Osiris is buried. Osiris' resurrection is also often helped along by other Gods such as Thoth (God of wisdom) and Anubis (God of embalming). In some versions, Set is killed for His actions. In most He is simply defeated and driven from the land, as chaos is necessary for balance and harmony, and thus cannot be killed. And the story that I have told is from the Late Period, recorded by Plutarch, and does not really go along with many Egyptian accounts, which often find Osiris' penis intact.

So that is the Osiris myth with all of its' intricacies and changing rhythms over the course of 4,000 years of Egyptian history. It embodies a huge amount of cultural practices and religious ideas within ancient Egypt, including the idea of truth, harmony, and justice, as well as resurrection, the afterlife, healing, and the workings of the cosmos. I've decided to leave out the later parts involving Osiris' son, Horus, and His fight with Set, for now because this does not directly involve Osiris, and that is our topic for this post.

Tradition, History, and Culture

Worship of Osiris dates back to the Old Kingdom, but the idea of Osiris is likely older than this. Before Osiris was actually Khentiamenti, an agricultural God centered in Abydos, a city which would later become the cult center of Osiris. Khentiamenti means 'Foremost of the Westerners', a title for the ruler of the dead, as the dead resided in the west, where the sun set each day. But Osiris Himself is not found mentioned in any texts or carvings until the 5th Dynasty, where He is depicted as a man wearing a divine wig. Later on He would take on the form we know Him best in––wrapped in a white mummy shroud, wearing an atef crown with ostrich plumes on the sides.

The mummy shroud He is depicted in forever associates Him with death and with the essential story behind Him, which is why I found it so important to start off with the Osiris Myth. This myth is also why He consumed and took the place of Khentiamenti; the name Khentiamenti, Foremost of the Westerners, instead became a title for Osiris as the King of the blessed dead. Another common epithet/name of Osiris is Wennefer (Omnophris), meaning 'The Beautiful One', 'The Beneficent One', and more archaically, 'One Whose Body Did Not Decay'. Among these names He was also called 'The Lord of Love', 'The King of Living', and 'The Eternal Lord'. From the Early Dynastic Period up until the end of the Ptolemaic Dynasty, when Rome conquered Egypt, Osiris was one of the most highly worshipped and revered Gods of Egypt.

Osiris was associated with the Nile river, with its' renewal and life-giving abilities, as one of Osiris' domains and powers was fertility, as well as rebirth. Another of His duties, evidence of which originates in the New Kingdom, was to act as judge of the dead; being King, He sat on the tribunal with the 42 Judges in the famous Weighing of the Heart ceremony. In this ceremony, which took place in the afterlife, the deceased would have to stand before the court and place their soul up for judgement. If it weighed lighter than the feather of Ma'at, representing all justice, truth, and harmony, then the heart acted well in life and would be allowed eternal happiness in the Field of Reeds. If not, the heart, and thus the person, would be consumed by Ammit and committed to nothingness. So Osiris would sit in on this tribunal and judge who entered His kingdom, as it was His domain. In this role, and in His role as King of the Living, as well, He was the embodiment of harmony, law, and justice.

"Most of his appeal was based on his embodiment of the cosmic harmony. The rising Nile was his insignia, and the moon’s constant state of renewal symbolized his bestowal of eternal happiness in the lands beyond the grave. In this capacity he also became the model of human endeavors and virtues..." (The Complete Gods And Goddesses Of Ancient Egypt, p.307)

As I mentioned earlier, Abydos became His cult center, as it was the cult center of the God who came before Him, whose traits He subsumed. It became a very popular burial site, as legends would say that Abydos was where Osiris was truly buried, and the people wanted to be buried as close as possible to Osiris. At one point they believed an ancient tomb there––which was actually the tomb of an Early Dynastic King––to be the tomb of Osiris, which they much revered, and left so many offerings in clay pots that Arabs would later call the site 'Umm el Qa'ab'; Mother of Pots. But this was not the only burial site of Osiris; since many variations of the myth include Set chopping up and dismembering Osiris into many parts, ranging from 14 to 42 different parts. These parts were scattered across Egypt, so many cities and nomes could claim that they had a part of Osiris buried in their domain. For example, far in the south, the island of Bigah claimed to be the burial site of Osiris' left leg, and thus the source for the yearly Nile inundation.

Going back to the Osiris Myth, after Osiris died and became the ruler of the dead, His son took His place as King of the Living: the falcon God, Horus (Heru the Younger). After the brief bout of chaos brought about under Set's rule, Horus took over (after much deliberation from the Gods) and order was restored. Because of this story, Pharaohs would not only associate themselves with Osiris in death, but with Horus in life. Each Pharaoh, as they came to the throne, would become the living embodiment of Horus on earth, the son of Osiris. In this way, Isis was also the mother of every Pharaoh, and their protector. And, to added extent, each Pharaoh would have a personal name, and then a Horus name granted to them when they ascended to the throne.

"It is for this reason that Osiris is so often depicted as a mummified pharaoh; because pharaohs were mummified to resemble Osiris. The image of the great mummified god preceeded the practice of preparing the royal body to look like Osiris... The king's appearance as modeled after Osiris' extended throughout his reign; the famous flail and shepherd's staff, synonymous with Egyptian pharaohs, were first Osiris' symbols as the flail represented the fertility of his land while the crook symbolized the authority of his rule." (Osiris, World History Encyclopedia, Joshua J. Mark)

Osiris can also be represented by a number of physical symbols, such as the crook and flail that He carries in almost all representations of His earthly form. The crook, which is the striped hook He carries, represents power/authority, and is a symbol of the Pharaoh. The flail, which is the instrument in His other hand, represents the fertility of the Nile, and as an extension, the fertility of Osiris Himself. But the crook and flail, though both seen typically as symbols of Pharaonic power, are actually the tools of a shepherd. There is reasonable evidence, thusly, to suggest that the physical origins of the idea of Osiris may not be that of a great King, but of a ruler of a shepherd tribe in the Nile Delta, whose rule was so beneficent that it led to him being worshipped as a God. For Egyptologists, this theory comes from His association with Andjety, a predynastic God-King worshipped in the Delta who also bore the crook and flail as His symbols. This, however, has not and likely cannot be fully proven. But the postulation is still interesting nonetheless!

Osiris' ba soul had its' own culture of worship, a practice of soul-worship that is prevalent in the cults of several other Gods, such as Hathor (HwtHer). In this form, Osiris was known as Banebdjedet, meaning 'The Ba of the Lord of the Djed,' which in English terms means 'The Soul of the Lord of the Pillar of Continuity', as ba means soul, and djed is the symbol for a pillar, which represented the backbone of Osiris. Interestingly, the name Banebdjedet is feminine, as the letter t denotes a feminine word or name in ancient Egyptian; although there are also variations on this name that exclude the t in favour of the alternative, Banebdjed. Banebdjedet, Osiris' ba soul, was worshipped mainly in Mendes, a city in Lower Egypt, in the Delta.

This leads to an interesting point concerning the androgyny of Osiris, a subject I found while researching for this post. Osiris' fertility comes from His castration and then being healed by the mother Goddess, Isis. Not only that, but both men and women identified themselves with Osiris in death. Then the name for His ba personified as another God is feminine, although representations of Banebdjedet are overwhelmingly male. Before anyone attacks me, I am not claiming that Osiris is a genderless God or King––just that He has some traits of androgyny, which I find interesting and love to study in ancient cultures, and I thought it would be good to mention for anyone else similarly interested.

Worship, Festivals, and Cult Activities

When it comes to the practices surrounding Osiris' cult, we actually know a good deal of information regarding the activities of worshippers and priests. Osiris' cult and worship was so widespread and lasted long enough that it could be recorded by the earliest Greek historians, and remained carved in temple walls for thousands of years. Among the most well-known cultic tradition is the Osiris Bed.

The Osiris Bed is rather well documented, as it was an object placed in tombs. It was not a bed for the deceased to lie in, but instead a box made of wood or clay, moulded into the shape of Osiris, in which the fertile Nile soil was placed and seeds were planted. These boxes were then wrapped in white mummy linens, and the seeds sprouted through, representing the resurrection and fertility of Osiris, and the crops that grew each year in cycles. One of the most famous of these beds was found in King Djer's tomb, a King from the Early Dynastic Period; the 2nd King ever of the unified Egypt. Coincidentally (or, perhaps, not so coincidentally) King Djer's tomb was the tomb which pilgrims believed to be Osiris' burial site.

While the Osiris Bed is far from the only practice and tradition of the Osiris cult, it does show the rich cultural practices and symbolism present in His worship. Let's look at some other examples of the practices of Osiris' cult.

Similar to the Osiris bed were Osiris gardens, which were essentially the same concept; fertile soil was planted inside a vessel shaped into the form of Osiris, and seeds were settled within to grow. These beds were tended to during festivals instead of being buried in a tomb.

There were a great many festivals, and each of them quite popular according to their time period, dedicated to the story and symbolism of Osiris. Some festivals started with recounting the mournings of Isis and Nephthys, Osiris' sister-wife and sister, in the form of a drama acted out in a call-and-response format. Another drama acted out for the glory of Osiris was more in the form of an actual fight that anyone could participate in; it was modelled after The Contendings of Horus and Set, which I briefly mentioned as a long and drawn-out argument between Horus and Set over who deserved Osiris' vacant throne after He had died. On this occasion, people would battle out and reenact the events of the story until the side of Horus finally won and victory was achieved. Afterwards, the celebrations commenced in honoring the restoration of order, and the gold-encased shAwyt-nTr (the Holy Statue) of Osiris would be taken out and lavished with offerings. Osiris, in the form of this statue, would be paraded throughout the city of Abydos before being placed in a shrine outside, where He could participate fully in the festivities, and be admired by the commoners who would usually never behold the face of Osiris. This emergence of Osiris from the dark temple's inner sanctuary to the light of the city resembled and represented His resurrection from death into life again. Although this particular festival was celebrated mainly in Osiris cult center of Abydos, it was also celebrated in other cities such as Bubastis in the Delta, Busiris, Memphis, and Thebes, in Upper Egypt.

The Mysteries of Osiris was a series of plays performed annually, and in dramatic, passionate form. It was one of the most popular observances of worshippers, and it told the story that I first told to you––of Osiris' life, His death at the hands of His brother, His resurrection at the hands of His sister-wife, and His ascension into the role we now know Him for. The roles in this reenactments were often taken up by high-ranking officials, and afterwards, the Contendings of Horus and Set would take place, which I just mentioned. These plays would take place over several days.

One festival was called The Fall of the Nile. During this time, the waters of the Nile would recede, and the worshippers of Osiris would go into mourning. One of Osiris' representation on earth was the Nile, and the Nile represented His fertility and life.

Another festival was celebrated on the 19th day of Pakhons, one of the months in the Egyptian calendar, which is roughly equivalent to May in our Gregorian calendar. On this day, the followers of Osiris would go to the river with shrines containing vessels of gold and metal, and would pour water into the Nile, exclaiming, "Osiris is found!" Mud and spices were mixed and moulded into the shape of Osiris, as well, to celebrate His return. Another festival similar to this one was called The Night of the Tear, and took place during modern-day June.

The last festival pertaining to Osiris that I will mention is the Djed pillar festival, held in modern-day January. The Pharaonic court and family would participate, raising djed pillars to welcome Osiris and the harvests that coincided with His return.

One last and interesting tradition that may seem familiar to Christians, at least in a small way, was the baking of bread in the shape of Osiris; bread as the flesh of the God, a sort of predecessor of communion wafers. But in reality the traditions of the Osiris cakes are completely different, and there were several different ways of going about it, depending on which nome you were from. In Dendera, wheat-paste models were made in the shape of each of the 16 dismembered parts of Osirs, and each model was sent out to the town where each respective part of Osiris was found by Isis. In Mendes, figures of Osiris were made of wheat and paste. On the day of the murder, they were placed in a trough, followed by water being added each day for several days. Afterwards, this mixture was kneaded into a dough, put into a mold of Osiris, and buried on the temple grounds.

Conclusion

This has been a somewhat brief glimpse into the cult, history, and traditions surrounding the Great God, The Beautiful Lord Osiris. If I can clarify anything please let me know and I will do my best!

[annoyinglandmagazine]

Bilbo was taking surprisingly well to Valinor. Of course he’d been expecting it to be an adjustment, elves were very different creatures to hobbits after all, but he was certainly in fine comfort here. He’d always got the impression that elves had very- well for want of a better word elven ideas about what constituted a home, it was not his place to criticise but sleeping in trees seemed to lack a sense of cosiness to be perfectly honest, but Elrond seemed to have gone to a heartwarming effort to make his surroundings more familiar.

He and Frodo had been given spacious yet hobbit proportioned chambers in the building (practically a castle really) his wife had made for their household, a display of generosity that he should have come to expect yet still took him off guard. The rooms were filled with lush wall hangings, rugs and throw blankets, each pieces of art, and there were ever so many places one could sit and work away at whatever took their fancy or simply gaze out at the stars or waves crashing against the rocks.

Despite the seeming peace and tranquillity of his surroundings he was not oblivious to the fact that there was tension in the halls. He was proven right when Elrond came in one day after going down to the city, somewhere the hobbits had still not quite worked up the nerve to go themselves as they knew they would stick out like sore thumbs and were not fully prepared to be bombarded with questions and stares.

The Lady Galadriel’s brother Finrod had become familiar company however, when he was not too busy teasing his sister that is, and seemed genuinely eager and impressed with all they had to say. He even seemed enthusiastic about Bilbo’s attempts at poetry, though when he heard a reinterpretation of an ancient romance ballad about the flame haired princess being freed from her tower by a valiant elven prince he had to cover his mouth politely before bursting into a fit of laughter when he met Elrond’s eyes. He apologised profusely afterwards, though Bilbo was still trying to discover what had been so funny.

On this day however Finrod was not in attendance, it was just some of Elrond’s household, his wife and Bilbo in the corner writing a new poem about Beren and Luthien (a little overdone perhaps but still an incredible story). Elrond hung his cloak on the stand by the door and adjusted some invisible flaw in his braid work before picking up a book and silencing all the numerous proceedings in the bustling communal area with one casually uttered sentence from the window seat.

‘I decided to invite my parents over for dinner.’

Glorfindel dropped the plant pot he was holding with a crash, the only noise in the stifling silence. Everyone seemed to take that as their queue to leave whatever they were doing and walk calmly, run like their lives depended on it for the doors, some even for the windows. All except Bilbo that is, he wanted to hear what it was that made all these dignified and battle hardened immortal beings scatter like young hobbits pillaging Farmer Maggot’s grounds.

Glorfindel spoke and his voice was definitely trembling, goodness what could this be about? ‘Which- which parents would these be Lord Elrond?’

Elrond didn’t look up as if he hadn’t noticed the panic he’d unleashed and twirled his bookmark about his fingers while replying absentmindedly. ‘Hmmm? Oh, well I really didn’t want to start off on a note of picking some over the others after so many millennia apart so I thought it best to meet them together, clear the air and all that rather than leave things fester. I’m quite done with letting things go unspoken you know.’

‘You what.’ The Balrog Slayer trembled and shook, he who had laughed in the face of the Nazgûl.

‘What in all the lands of Arda could have possessed you to- Elrond! Are you trying to get us all killed?!’

‘Oh, peace Glorfindel, my family aren’t going to kill each other or you.’

‘Elrond your families killing each other is how you got one of them! Which is still severely fucked up by the way and so ridiculously unhealthy I don’t even know what to do with it.’

Elrond huffed at Glorfindel’s hysterics, ‘Honestly, it’s fine. It’s just dinner. They’re hardly going to sour their first meeting with me since before the destruction of Beleriand just to be petty.’

Bilbo privately thought that there was very little certain family members wouldn’t do to be petty, especially where ill advised family dinners were concerned. Tonight should be entertaining at least. He wondered if the elves, with the wisdom of many ages would be able to restrain themselves.

Glorfindel sighed and leaned forward onto his hand muttering something that, despite Bilbo’s incomplete fluency in the language, sounded suspiciously like swearing. ‘Well I suppose there’s nothing we can do now except send as many to safety as we can spare and pray to every Valar we can think of.’

‘And hide the breakables,’ Elrond chimes in lightly seemingly unperturbed by the very dangerous individual who was looking gradually more and more murderous. ‘Naneth used to throw things at the wall after receiving letters from Atya. Best hide any weaponry as well. Maybe serve something that doesn’t require sharp cutlery?’

Glorfindel inhaled slowly several times while staring down his significantly younger lord. ‘I hope you know Elrond, that the only reason I am not throttling you right now is that I do not want to upset the Lady Idril by causing injury to her only grandchild. She terrifies me, perhaps more than you and your parents but it is a fine fucking line.’

As Glorfindel headed out to try and pull the house into some semblance of readiness for the seeming impending disaster Elrond lifted his gaze from his novel and stared out at the rolling ocean before him. While only moments ago he had seemed light and teasing, as if he were secretly aware of and enjoying the turmoil he’d caused, something Bilbo had become more and more accustomed to seeing from him since their arrival on these shores, now he appeared every inch of his years, an ages long loss lined in those bright eyes and a trace of hesitance that was even more alarming.

 ‘Are you quite alright lad?’ Elrond’s mouth moved into familiar expression of amusement at being referred to as such by one so many times his younger and that was something at least though his eyes didn’t change.

 ‘Everything’s alright, it’s only just- well it’s been so long Bilbo. I know coming from me that may sound unusual to you, but I’m talking about things that happened in the First Age of the world, in Beleriand for goodness sake, that entire continent hasn’t existed for over seven millennia. So it’s just hard- I’ve spent so long imagining this day and I truly have no idea how it will go. It’s been so long since I’ve had parents and now- I might finally get that connection again but what if it fails? They haven’t seen me since I was a child, some of them anyway, what if they don’t like the person I am now?’

 ‘Any parent would be proud of having someone like you for a child, Elrond. I’m sure it will go splendidly, why they must have missed you dreadfully, I can’t imagine being separate from Frodo for so long.’ He was touched deeply by this elven lord opening up to him about such worries and resolved to try his best to make tonight go without a hitch. Glorfindel must have surely be overreacting after all, it couldn’t be that hard, could it, to prevent a few people (he was admittedly still unclear on the circumstances that led to Elrond’s parents being referred to as seemingly distinct groups) coming to blows at a reunion with their son?

[callsign-mongoose]

Bachelorette Bookclub

Pairing: Robert "BOB" Floyd x Reader (No use of Y/N)

Warnings: Drunk brunch with your brides maids, They are kinda bitches, a couple sexual jokes but most of this is fluff.

Word count: 1.5k (It's just a little Blurb)

Essentially, your celebrating your bachelorette brunch with your girls and the question of how you and your fiancé met comes up!

A/N: I just thought this was a cute idea! I've been struggling with writers block recently so please help if you have any ideas you really want someone to write! Send them to me!

On to the show

Mimosa buzzed giggles were being shared in the corner of the booth. Your closest girlfriends sitting around enjoying their 4th glass in their ultimately bottomless mimosas. 

Girl brunch had always been a part of the schedules no matter how they changed. Besides, no one was going to miss out on your bachelorette party. It was a rather simple idea, everything about the wedding was simple and you and your fiancé Bob liked it that way.  A girls weekend at a nearby hotel, it was more about enjoying the time spent together than getting plastered bar crawling for one night. 

From just over the flowerbeds sectioning off the patio of the restaurant from the rest of the hotel, a crowd of guys came bounding through wearing their swim trunks and holding towels chanting, “Pool Bar! Pool Bar! Pool Bar!” The group seemed to be almost carrying one man in the middle who seemed like he was simply embarrassed to be there. His cheeks all red, shaking his head laughing as his friends continued to pull him down the hall. 

It was your man, your fiancé, your Bob. You never knew how he managed to stay so docile and sweet when surrounded by so many brash impulsive men. You had become close with the rest of Bobs team, Natasha was a given, she was the first right of passage, everyone else was just entertainment. As much as you loved them, they weren’t anything that you’d want to spend every day with. 

Your friends had started to giggle once again as they watched the horde of a Batchelor party run by. “He really is… a catch hon.” Lydia, one of your bridesmaids commented before turning to Adyson giving her a look. It was very clear her words were condescending, and it wasn’t appreciated. “Yeah… babes you could have done so much better, look at him, has he ever had fun a day in his life? He looks like the human embodiment of a piece of paperwork… his friends are hot though and look like so much fun.” A fit of laughter and sexual comments erupted from the group of drunk women as they fawned over Bobs coworkers. 

“Hold on, hold on, we need to at least let her defend her pick.” Lexi, your maid of honor spoke up, clearly not having the rest of the parties’ rude comments. “Remember who the one getting married is, at least our bride can hold a stable relationship.” Lexi shot Adyson and Lydia a look that made them immediately shut up as they had both been known to find new lovers every week. “Why don’t you tell them how you and Bob met, that’s such a cute story. It perfectly encapsulates the relationship you have with your soon to be Hubby.” 

A light flush crossed your cheeks, grateful that Lexi had been able to reign in the chaos that had been caused by the alcohol, “Fine fine, I’ll tell it… I’m surprised you can’t recite it yourself by now Lexi” You teased placing your mimosa glass down. 

“Well, it started because I was hunting down a book for a class that I was taking. A recommendation from the professor…”

------------------------------

“Haust, Heidi, come on where’s Heinlein.” Your fingers brushed over the spines of the books as you glanced at the authors names. The authors name sounded so foreign in your mind now that you had repeated it about 10,000 times over trying not to forget. 

The spine had been worn in but the name of the book could be read enough to tell, that was it, The Tunnel In The Sky. Lifting your hand to pull it off the shelf a larger hand grazed over yours, rough finger pads just barely kissing your knuckles before pulling away. “Oh.. sorry, I didn’t realize-“ 

He was handsome, but that was one of the last things you noticed about him. Eyes scanning his plain gray crewneck, then to his dark blue baseball cap, noticing how his hair was peaking out around the sides, very clearly pushed down against his head. Blue eyes seemed to fit the man, captivating and friendly, even if his facial expression was concerned about their interaction.

Perhaps the most interesting about him was the fact that the stranger hadn’t even tried to grab the book again, simply stepping back to allow you to take dibs, pulling it off the shelf. 

“It seems like we’ve both got good taste huh?” You said trying to break the rather awkward silence that had thickened between the two of you. 

The man gave a chuckle that reassured you he was just as nervous as you seemed to be about the situation. “Yeah… are you familiar with it?” He asked gesturing towards the book that was now in your hands, “Someone’s definatly read it plenty of times, the spines been subjected to lots of love.” 

You milled the book over in your hands, fingers tracing the spine now that the stranger had mentioned it. “Yeah…” Your mind wandered for a moment before you realized there was a first part to the question the man asked. “Oh! Uh, no no, it’s my first time reading it actually. I’m taking a history class right now over at SDCC (San Diego Community College) and my professor mentioned the book during a lecture and I got curious.” Feeling like you had talked far too much about yourself, you swallowed shallowly, “Um, what about you? Do you know much about it?” 

The stranger just shook his head, “No, not really, just the basic synopsis I read online… I’m actually reading it off of a recommendation too. I tend to stick to Non-Fiction books, and my friends sorta tease me for it… in a good way,” he added quickly. “Anyway, my best friend suggested this book as a good way to kinda, get out of my normal comfort zone. I’ve been trying to expand my horizons lately.”

Your nose wrinkled trying not to giggle, “So reading a different genre of book is expanding your horizons? No offence but it doesn’t seem like you live a very fast paced life.”

“You have no idea.” His head shook and it was clear something about the situation was ironic to him. 

The interaction could have ended there but you weren’t quite ready to say goodbye to the handsome stranger quite yet. Besides, there hadn’t been any decisions that decided who’d get the book. 

“Here,” You tried to offer holding the book out for the man to take, “I don’t need to read it right now, I can always just rent it later, it’s no big deal.”

The man shook his head gently pushing the book back into your grasp, “Your doing it to farther your education and understanding, I couldn’t get in the way of that.” 

“And your trying to expand your horizons and tastes, that’s important too.”

After a tense moment of silence and a range of eye movements to try to encourage the other to take the book, the man’s lips broke into a smile, eyes shifting to the book shelf. “Okay… how about this, a benefit to us both. We take turns, make it kind of a book club thing.” He offered smiling. “We read a chapter or two, then switch off, once we each read a couple chapters we meet for lunch, and talk about it?” He offered with a hopeful smile. 

How could you resist, intellectual conversation with a handsome guy over lunch? Yes please. “Alright, that sounds like a deal…” You pulled out your phone, handing it to the man to put his number in, once returned to you, it was quick to go into your pocket. 

Attention turning back to the man who had put himself into your phone as Bob Floyd, you noticed him reaching back up to the shelf for something. He grabbed another book, a second copy of “Tunnel In The Sky”, a grin spreading on his face, “Huh… another copy, weird.” 

You laughed quietly “guess we went through all that trouble of making a plan for nothing huh?”

“Not necessarily, perhaps I just chose to ignore the second newer copy in favor of the well loved copy and the opportunity to talk to a beautiful girl.” The grin on his face said it all, he was being confident, but it was new to him, and it suited him well. 

------------------------------

All the girls around the table had been lulled into having their hands on their chins like children gathered for story time. “Aww, all that just to talk to you? How cute.” Adyson said her lips curling into a grin.

 “It worked didn’t it?” You responded holding up your left hand with the engagement ring on it, “He’s perfect guys, I couldn’t care less if he’s a bit timid. Bobby shows when it really counts.” 

What was a warm and tender moment quicky changed as Lexi pretended to hide her mouth to comment “He show’s out in the bedroom too.” 

A shriek escaped you as you slapped Lexi’s hand from her mouth in a playful manner as the rest of the girls laughed.  So what if Bob wasn’t the biggest, or the loudest, or the most smooth. He was yours, and that was all you could have asked him to be. 

[blumisiu]

Meadow

written by blumisiu. published: 1 June 2024.

❀ 1.5k words. taesan x reader. ANGST. no warnings except it’s in 3rd person but if there’s something else that should be here please let me know, i’ll add it in! fancy a different story? જ⁀➴ the library is this way!

❀ authors note — so gross and dramatic and sappy and flowery EWW. was just feeling romantical i guess. didn’t plan to write this, the idea just came to me but i was so excited about it i just had to. might delete it later tho idk if it like it lmao. not proofread. kinda hurt my heart to write this :( happy reading fairies! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ♡︎ edit: pls let me know if u guys like this writing style & if i should write like more often :) feedback is appreciated <3

Underneath a starless sky, a girl stands in an empty meadow and waits. The moon is full and bright, a hazy ball behind a thin layer of clouds, washing the field and the many flowers and the girl in a soft, milky glow. Y/N is the girls name. Y/N shifts her weight nervously between legs, her hands tugging on a strand of her hair, a reminder that she’s real and her feet are in fact touching the Earth. Her mind is desperately trying not to think of who she is waiting for. Each time she tries to picture him, her legs swiftly turn wobbly. A flash of black hair hanging over brown eyes, a hand around her waist, a loving gaze, all there to remind her of what she has lost. Part of her hopes luck will be in her favour tonight, and the expected outcome will be seen as a mistake—a hasty decision without much thought. But, with the stars hidden away, as if they couldn’t bear to watch what would take place, it doesn’t seem lady luck will be showing herself tonight.

A boy walks through a dark forest, stomping on sticks and leaves, making no effort to quiet his presence. His name is Taesan. He is afraid and confused, the heart in his chest cracked a million times through. In his mind, he fights to untangle a string of words. He wrote them down on a piece of paper many days ago, looked at them until his eyes burned, then recited them until his voice was foreign to his own ears and the words didn’t sound like words anymore, merely sounds. They stayed etched into his mind perfectly fine for days, until this moment. All of a sudden, they dissipated, as if one decided to untether itself from the little corner it was in and the rest followed in its path. Now, as he trudges through mud, he tries to bring them back together. 

The girl is still waiting. Her legs have grown tired of standing, so she is sitting in the tall grass, near a cluster of poppies, brushing their velvety petals. Another way for her to ground herself, to tether herself to the world beneath her. I am here. I am real. she thinks. Y/N begins to wonder if the boy will not show. If he’ll abandon her there, in the same place they said I love you. But that would be cruel, and Taesan, while sometimes distant and closed-off, was never one to be cruel, at least on purpose. Perhaps he has just lost his way, she thinks. Her mind conjures up a few different scenarios of what he could be doing, or rather, what could be happening to him—Instantly, dread creeps up on her, a sly finger tapping on her shoulder, enticing her to look its way and succumb to the worrying thoughts. Before she can, though, she hears rustling coming from the woods to her right. She looks up and sees Taesan and her heart begins to beat faster, so fast she thinks it might just stop all together. Somehow, it doesn’t, and she has the strength to stand up, albeit a little awkwardly, and walk a few steps to him, so they’d meet in the middle. 

When Taesan reaches the opening to the meadow, he waits at the edge and watches Y/N. The entire setting before him is a picture of sadness, so different to when they were last there together. All he can think of is that bright Spring day, where everything was green and the air smelled sweet, like honey, and the two of them were lying among the flowers, talking and laughing and sharing secrets like candy. Promises were made and believed in. Little did they know how quickly Time would weaken those promises. Taesan drifts back to reality. He feels sick and dizzy, but he knows he must talk to her, it’s the right thing to do. Leaving doors open, leaving questions unanswered and nurturing false hope, that is never fair.

The boy stands in front of the girl, and suddenly, the world is hushed; even the trees stop swaying, as if they’re holding their breaths. They feel like the only two people in this world. Neither of them speak for minutes, it seems. They just stare at one another, then at the grass, or the milky sky, then back to each other– so much more being said in those glances than words could ever tell. After a moment, Taesan speaks, “I don’t know why I chose this place for us to meet. I didn’t think it’d hurt so much.” He tries to laugh but it comes out wrong, breathy and short. 

“I don’t know either. I’m not surprised you thought it wouldn’t hurt. Probably because it never meant much to you. Wasn’t important, you know? I bet nothing between us was important to you”, the words come out of Y/N’s mouth like daggers, her tone sharp and unrelenting, but it’s taking all her strength not to cry. 

Taesan winces and puts his head down, a familiar prick at the back of his eyes. After a moment, he looks up at her. “It was important to me, it really was. Do you know how much I loved you?” 

Loved. The word guts her; at any moment, she thinks her insides will come spilling out. How stupid she was to think he would change his mind, would apologise and say he didn’t know what had gotten into him. 

“I don’t know what happened to me. I tried to figure it out. I really did, I really tried. I was so angry at myself for feeling that way. It scared me so bad. I didn’t want to feel that way, but I did. I do. Am I just supposed to ignore that? You know it wouldn’t be fair to either of us if I kept it to myself. You deserve better than that,” He says, desperately almost, his voice cracking near the end. “Please believe that.”

She does not know what to believe, so she just observes him. Looks at the face of the boy she thought would be her everything forever. She sees the treasured moments between them, three years worth of I love yous, all that time spent together. With so much history ripped up and forgotten in one night, she had no choice but to question if any of it was real. Tears are spilling out of her eyes already, and the boy looks at her with so much concern and heartbreak, it makes her want to lay down in the grass and let the ground swallow her whole. He has a lingering feeling she won’t speak again, so he continues. 

“I can’t change how I feel” he hesitates, looking up to the sky as if it will help and speak the terrible words for him, but it does not. He closes his eyes and says, “I’m not in love with you anymore” 

His words echo around her, as if they’ve clung onto the breeze and fixed themselves into it just to suffocate her. A familiar feeling of weightlessness fills the girls heart. The same feeling it felt when she noticed his eyes looking at her blankly, or when he stopped kissing her. The same feeling it felt when he stayed out later than usual and ignored her calls. The same feeling of when she knew, deep in her bones, that he was slipping through her fingers. At this point, the tears are rushing down her cheeks fast, her breaths turning into heaves. Taesan wonders if he should hug her, comfort her in some way but he knows that’s an action he’s given up permission to do. He is not hers, and she is not his anymore. All there is left to do is leave. And so, he goes. 

Y/N and Taesan had both thought Time would heal them. They didn’t know then that Time was the wound, that it hurts instead of helps. They did not know people can grow apart, that feelings aren’t set in stone and can ebb and flow like the tide. There was so much they did not know.

With one last sorrowful look at her, he sniffles and walks towards the forest, back home. Y/N stands in that meadow for what seems like hours. Somehow, as if by magic, she makes it to the path leading to her house. She feels too many things. She is numb and sick and guilty and heartbroken and furious all at once. When she reaches home, almost mechanically, she walks through the door, up the stairs and into her room, carefully getting into bed. She sobs well into the night, cries until her eyes are sore and her head feels like lead and there are no tears left to fall. The words I’m not in love with you anymore in Taesan’s voice sounding in her ears over and over again, until sleep comes and relieves her of her pain.

☁️ taglist — @luv-y0urself

[multixsposts]

Valentine’s Day

Context-> This is a Valentine’s Day SHORT story about Gojo Satoru getting his heart b r o k e n by the reader :)

Fandom-> Jujutsu Kaisen

Ship-> Gojo Satoru x Reader

a/n the reader is female in this story and there isn’t mild sexual content but minors please stay away nonetheless

~forgive me if there are any spelling errors~

enjoy and happy Valentine’s Day ;)

This is story is for 18+ ONLY minors DNI

Satoru sighs as he lies on his sofa, phone in hand while he scrolls through social media seeing nothing but this Valentine’s day nonsense.

It’s ridiculous how people can even call this a holiday. It’s pointless in his opinion.

Because this time he didn’t have you to share it with and pained him to his core.

The two of you broke it off months ago. just enough time for you to find someone else to spend this ‘holiday’ with and that hurt him even more. Sure he tried to save the relationship, but you couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to be free of only seeing him when he wasn’t busy with work which was rare.

Sometimes you worried if he’d make it home in one piece and not in half.

But you knew..you how dangerous his job was and how much he worked and yet you still chose to be with him and stay as long as you did, only to use that as an excuse to leave him in the end.

His eyes started to tear up at the memory of you telling him you couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t want to cry over it anymore..he needed to stop all of this sulking.

it was getting him nowhere.

So he decides to get off of his oh so comfortable couch and go out. Maybe eating out would get his mind off of things?.

It should. Shouldn’t it?.

but as he continued to walk along the sidewalk he couldn’t help but notice his feet had taken him to your favorite restaurant..the one he’d take you out to all the time.

The one he got bored of but did it for you because you were so happy to come here and he liked seeing you happy.

So..what does he do?. He releases a sigh and walks in.

He could at least imagine you were here with him and he swears after this meal-after today- he will be completely and utterly over you.

He gets his food and he eats quietly and alone while the people around him chatter away with their dates.

Some even laughing at the most horrible jokes he’s never even heard of, and you know it’s bad when Satorus never even heard of the joke because he’s a jokester himself and by god you loved it.

Your laugh was the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. Music to his ears.

What’s crazy is that he can still hear it perfectly loud and clear still to this day..

loud and- wait.

no. He immediately straightens his back and looks around the restaurant.

You’re here, but where?. Fuck there are so many people here.

He continues to scan the place until his blue eyes finally find you.

God you were so perfect..especially in the dress you were wearing…it matches you so well. It hugs your body perfectly.

He stares at you. His food going ignored and getting cold, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

All of a sudden your head snapped in his direction, your gorgeous eyes staring right back at him.

He puts his head down quickly. Hoping you didn’t notice him but he knows that you did.

A tap on his shoulder brought his attention to the person standing next to his table and his heart started to race.

“y/n..h-hey” he said with a nervous smile

“meet me in the bathroom we’ve gotta have a chat” you tell him bluntly as you make your way towards the back of the restaurant, your hips swaying in the tight dress you had on.

He quickly gets up from the chair and follows you to the bathroom.

“what are you doing here, Gojo?.” you huffed out as he walks in closing the door behind him, his heart aching at you using his last name.

“i just came here to have a meal..” he replies back to you

“bullshit” you fold your arms over your chest, your breast pressing together from the action.

Him being the man that he is

he couldn’t help but glance down at them.

“it’s true..i was hungry and needed to get out of the house.” he tells you

“every where i go you’re there. It’s like you appear out of thin air.” you whisper/yell trying to keep your voice quiet.

but he sighs. That’s true..but it’s not his fault. He couldn’t get you off of his mind his feet take him where they want to go and he doesn’t fight back.

So he doesn’t say anything..and just looks at you.

You know the reason why he’s following you.

He’s still heartbroken and so are you but only a little.

Of course you still thought about him and the good times you’ve had together, but him doing this is only making it harder on himself and you.

You sigh and hug him and when you do you didn’t miss the way his arms immediately flew around your body to hold your waist and pull you closer so he can hold you tighter.

but you didn’t say anything. you let it be, but only for now.

“Gojo-”

“don’t. don’t call me that. please just..use my first name..” he bends down a bit more to put his face in your neck, taking in deep breaths of your perfume.

Not wanting to forget what you smell like.

“Satoru..you’ve got to move on” you tell him quietly.

He shakes his head.

“cant.” you freeze when you feel a small peck against your neck.

“won’t.” he does it again.

“satoru-”

“one last time..it’s all i need. please.” he pulls his face away from the crook of your neck and stares into your eyes, you’ve never seen him this way..

your heart aches for the man in front of you.

The one you promised to love forever.

so..what do you do?..

you give in.

“nngh~ f-fuck, toru” you moan out quietly as he has you on the counter in the bathroom his hands underneath your thighs and your legs wrapped his waist.

“i l-love you..” he whispers into your ear, but you don’t say it back. you can’t.

You wrap your arms around his neck.

“say it..” he grunts out while his pace slows down not wanting this to end so quickly.

“t-toru..” you look at him while shaking your head, but he wasn’t having it.

He roughly thrusts into you making you squeak out a moan

His pace is harder, faster, it was to much for you

“s-slow down!” you beg him.

“say it.” his voice lower than when he said it the first time.

“say it and i’ll slow down.” it was getting to much it was starting to hurt, but saying the words he was longing to hear would put him in so much pain afterwards. It hurt your own heart to say it but you said it..for him

“i-i love you t-toru.” you got out in between moans of pleasure and pain and he immediately slowed down and his lips found yours.

Kissing you passionately as he slowly thrusts into you not wanting to forget the way you felt and the way you sounded when you said his name. How soft your lips felt against his..

he pulled his lips away from your and stuffed his face into your neck to hide the tears that started to fall from his eyes.

This will be the last time he’d actually be able to be close to you like this.

The pain in his chest wouldn’t go away but being like this with you even for a little while helped it become bearable.

Because he was able to share Valentine’s Day with the one he loves the most.

[canmom]

NieR Orchestra Concert 12024 [the end of data] (London, 15/2/2024)

NieR concert was incredible just as expected. Honestly, from the moment I got there - the cosplayers, the general atmosphere, it was just a good place to be surrounded by NieR nerds lmao. So many people happy to chat with the stranger next to them, kind of a con vibe.

But of course we were there for the music! And it was fuckin amazing. The emi evans/j'nique nicole duets😭These were special orchestral arrangements specifically for this concert, and the way the sound of the orchestra fills the space, how you can see a phrase physically ripple across the orchestra... I don't get to go to a lot of concerts but I really should try to go more often, because it's something else to hear orchestral music.

below: further comments on the concert, lots of cosplay photos.

The multimedia elements also worked really well - every piece was accompanied with backing videos using either demosceney abstract visuals or images from the games, along with text that told a short story over the course of the concert, with some segments voice acted by the English voices of 2B and 9S (Kira Buckland and Kyle McCarley, who have previously made their own performances of the original Japan-only concert readings). I won't spoil the story in this post since there are still concerts to come, but it was... not that substantial I'll admit, but sweet, and a nice framing device to create a flow through the songs and various moments from the games.

Hearing J'nique Nicole's voice live though, that was incredible. Emi Evans was there just as last time, and just as amazing as always - but this time we had both of them on stage together, and it was absolutely sublime. We all went wild. They performed duets in several songs, with the standouts naturally being A Beautiful Song, Ashes of Dreams, and of course Weight of the World. I think we all thought that was the end because we gave it a standing ovation but then Emi came back out to perform Kainé. After that we got into the groove of standing up and stood up again like three more times lol.

Yoko Taro and Yosuke Saito showed up at the end and made a bunch of rapidfire jokes in Japanese that the translator couldn't keep up with, bless her. But we got to give them like the fourth standing ovation of the night, and made a lot of noise when Yoko Taro suggested it would persuade the president of Squeenix to fund a sequel. I'm sure they appreciated it lmao. I think it must be so weird for Yoko Taro to go from someone with a career of niche, unsuccessful games to being internationally renowned to the point that a massive auditorium full of people in multiple countries will go absolutely nuts just to hear him speak a language we mostly don't speak.

Good mix of people who were at a NieR concert for the first time and people who'd been to the last one. There was a guy near me who had apparently been to the Berlin concert just a few days before, and snagged a ticket for this one literally yesterday just to get it again with better acoustics. I respect it lol. Everyone I spoke to was remarkably friendly - last time I went to one of these things I felt really nervous about approaching anyone but it seems I've gotten better about that kind of thing in the last few years. Anyway, people had come from all over - I chatted with a pair of Americans from Boston all the way down the merch line.

Here are some pictures, mostly of cosplayers. I am still getting used to shooting with the DSLR my friend gave me, so not all of these came out perfectly steady and some of them the exposure wasn't right,, but there are some nice ones in here...

bokeeeeehhhhhhhhh... I spoke a bit to the owner of this 9S doll. Her mum was there too, and it turns out she's a haberdasher who makes cosplays for her daughters and has now done over 70. That's a legendary mum right there.

The 9S cosplayer here gave me his instagram. he's a pro photographer so I feel a little embarassed at the quality of the photos I took of him ^^'

I got some merch too, since I understand it's the main way events like this support themselves.

That Kainé thing isn't a print, it's a vinyl record with a few arrangements of Kainé. Though I was totally prepared to buy it as a print because it's a lovely drawing. I don't actually own a record player, but one day I'll surely listen to it ^^'

I was too fatigued to make a cosplay this time, but I'm sure there will be another concert and next time, for sure, I will go as Devola or Popola. Unless Yoko Taro comes up with another redhead character in the meantime lmao.

[chlorine-and-daisies]

fics i enjoyed last week!

Confiteor (M) by @adverbian- When the title comes from a prayer for confessing sins, and the tags say it's a marriage proposal, you know this one is going to hit. It's made up of Aziraphale's thoughts and a conversation with Crowley after all of the fighting is done- a forgiving, poetic, and grown-up kind of epilogue. As a 3k word oneshot, every phrase is intentional, and it definitely has that crafted emotional impact. I liked that we don't actually see Armageddon Part 2, but are able to piece together what happened from their dialogue. It's rated M for some *very lightly* implied masturbation at the start and sex at the end (just a few lines), but imo the real reason is because it's a mature take on the characters and their inner motivations. If the Final Fifteen is still hurting you, and you wish Aziraphale and Crowley would just sit down and talk, read this.

Terminus (T) by BraveLight (@emotional-support-demon-crowley)- This is a really unique AU where Aziraphale is an astronaut on a decades-long mission and Crowley is the mission controller responsible for bringing him home! But things get complicated quickly when a. they are absolutely whipped for each other and b. the company that started the mission may not actually want it to succeed! I love the characterization of Aziraphale, Crowley, and the Them in this one. They mainly communicate through calls, and the dialogue is always funny and sweet. I've gotten invested in the story and the mystery in it. It's currently on chapter 7/16, and I'm looking forward to see where it'll take us next!

You, you're driving me crazy (T) - author anonymous- Aziraphale prepares for his driving test in the 1930s, and tries to remember his lessons in the 40s! This one is clearly written with so much love. The narration and dialogue was perfectly in character, the historical setting is full of fun details, and the side characters were unique without feeling forced in. Aziraphale channeling his inner book detective to save Crowley was so entertaining!

requiem of a fallen angel (T) by viperinz- Aziraphale Falls, and Crowley holds him through it. This one is adorable, painful, and powerful hurt-comfort that made me laugh and cry. Yes, it was on my previous list too, and I'm recommending it again this week because the author just finished the sixth and final chapter, and the ending was soft and a satisfying wrap-up, plot-wise, symbolically, and emotionally!!

And for this week's deep cut: city continues on, alone (G) by burnttongueontea (@aziraphale-rights) from 2020! This is a oneshot that takes place in an AU where Adam turned Aziraphale and Crowley human, and they've settled down in the South Downs cottage. In it, Aziraphale returns to London after selling the bookshop. I know, I know- becoming human? Selling a single book, let alone the shop? Those are fighting words!!! But I would really encourage you to keep an open mind and give this a read. The descriptions of London are so vivid and Aziraphale's characterization is great, full of nostalgia and experience and love. It's sad, but there's humor in it too. The author really explores the idea of longing for a place and time in a way that not too many do. We're writing about immortals in this fandom and yet we often forget the weariness that comes along with watching everything go by. Not only that, but the author uses the human AU to tell a very human story about missing a place that no longer exists and watching it change as you start to age. It came as no surprise when I looked in the comments after reading and saw them talking about how they wrote it at a time when they were personally homesick for London! This is the purpose of all good writing- to write about the human experience, to connect to your characters, to tell a story only you could tell.

So yeah! This was a really great week of reading for me. I originally intended to share these lists every weekend- this is only my second post, and I'm already falling behind (it was finals week)! But don't worry, I'm still here to highlight recent work and share my opinions in long rants. I tried to tag all the authors whose Tumblrs I could find, but as always please let me know if I've missed one.

Please add your own recommendations (including self-promotion), and I hope you will enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[pasukiyo]

TO BUILD A HOME joel miller x f!reader — fluff, smut 2660 words warnings; implied age gap, messy writing

 “listen to me, girl. if you’re with me, you’re playin’ by my rules.”

 the first time she met joel, she thought he was insufferable. she could respect that he didn’t trust her, after all, they lived in a world where someone trustworthy was hard to come by. and she wouldn’t exactly say she trusted him right at first either, but at the very least, she wasn’t a total douche about it. 

 “aye aye, captain,” she saluted him sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she strung her shotgun over her shoulder. 

 it was evident from the beginning that joel was scarred not only physically, but mentally, as were they all. he made it clear that he wasn’t entirely keen on telling his story, and quite frankly, she was alright with leaving that book closed, just as she was perfectly fine keeping her own past to herself. 

 yet, as time went on and she and joel spent more time together, working as a team, becoming one, she found it harder and harder each day to resist the temptation. when they came across ellie and set out on their mission to deliver her to the fireflies, she could start to see the remnants of joel’s past peek through the cracks. 

 there was something about ellie that reminded him of something, of someone. 

 he may not have been ellie’s father, but he was someone’s. 

 the first time joel ever opened up to her was after the incident with sam and henry, and she sat against the trunk of the tree they had decided to rest by, insisting that she take first watch. she wasn’t going to get much sleep that night anyways. 

 she wasn’t sure how much time had passed since she insisted ellie and joel get some shut eye before joel began to stir in his sleep, his eyelids slowly peeling open. she hardly acknowledged him, sparing a swift glance before she gazed back down to her palm, which burned from the marks her nails had left as she picked at her calloused skin. 

 he didn’t speak right at first, and looking back, she wondered if he was contemplating even speaking at all. 

 she was glad he did.

 “what happened back there was…” he began, his lips pressing back together, his words falling short at the tip of his tongue. her teeth sunk into the flesh of her bottom lip, “henry… all he wanted was to protect his brother,” she shook her head, squeezing her eyelids closed at the memory from just that morning. “and sam… jesus, joel, he was just a kid.”

 joel’s fingernails scratched at the hair on his chin, his shoulders heaving as he inhaled. “he.. sam.. was so.. bright. just like her,” joel murmured softly, so quiet she hardly caught it. she looked up from her palms, a wrinkle in her brow. “like ellie?” she questioned, titling her head at the sleeping girl between them. 

 joel paused for a moment, and then he shook his head. she remained silent, her breath hitching at the base of her throat as she waited for him to continue. 

 “my sarah.”

 that night changed everything. 

 joel told her so much about himself, and she to him. so many things that had gone unspoken between them the past few months they’d traveled together were no longer silenced, and soon, she was able to look back at that day and feel happy.

 there were many nights like that one, nights where she and joel shared bits and pieces of their story to one another as ellie slept— or as she’d like the two of them to think she did. she’d never admit it, but she knew for a fact the teenager wasn’t always asleep when she claimed to be. the truth was, it just felt so natural telling her story to joel, and letting herself fall right into the palms of his open hands just felt so right. 

 she remembered the way he held her the night they sacrificed many lives for ellie’s sake, the blood of more than a dozen fireflies on either of their hands. she still wasn’t sure if what they had done was right— and frankly, neither did joel. but what was done was done. 

 the only thing left for them to do was to keep pushing forward. 

 joel had never touched her like this before. it was well past midnight at that point, but they both knew that neither of them would be getting any sleep any time soon. her fingernails were burrowed into the skin of joel’s forearm, and she gripped onto him so tight, she feared she’d draw blood. 

 joel didn’t mind. all he wanted in this moment was to feel her, to be reassured that his girls were alright. 

 her eyes lingered over to ellie where she slept, an arm tucked behind her head, joel’s jacket draped around her torso. she toyed with her bottom lip between her teeth, her heart stuttering in her chest as she inhaled. “what do we do now?” she broke the prolonged silence, and the question hung in the air for a moment. the answer was unclear, their futures uncertain. joel’s mind raced towards his brother and his wife, and his heart, too, skipped a few beats. 

 “well, i s’pose we ought to make our way back home.”

 home. 

 if only joel knew that home was where she already was. 

 jackson may have been haven, but joel, to her, was home. 

 it was strange, walking through the house she and joel had claimed as their own once they arrived back in jackson— strange to be able to call it her’s. she couldn’t even remember the last time she had a place to call her own. 

 upstairs, joel showered, the sound of the water running down to the ground and down the drain faint but still drumming through the walls as she reached down into her backpack and dusted off the one photograph she knew joel owned. her lips subconsciously curved upwards at the sight of joel, her joel, only younger, his arm wrapped around the neck of a young girl, her eyes bright, smile so wide, she liked to think she could hear the girl’s laughter through the photo. the tips of her fingers brushed over the glass of the frame, soothing over joel’s face, his smile, his big, starry eyes, his glowing skin— not yet tainted or scarred by years of war. 

 she glanced back up to the staircase, her fingers tightening around the frame she had placed the photograph in, hugging it tight to her chest. she sauntered her way over to the stairs, the steps creaking beneath her weight as she made her way to the second floor. she ambled into their bedroom and made her way over to the dresser across the room from their bed, setting the framed picture down onto the wooden surface. she stepped back, seemingly unable to tear her gaze away from the photo. 

 joel looked so happy. 

 she wished she could bring that smile back onto his face again. 

 she seemed to have zoned out, and didn’t seem to notice that the shower water had been turned off. it wasn’t until she caught a glimpse of joel’s figure behind her in the reflection of the window before her and his big, warm hands rested on either of her hips that she was pulled from her trance, melting into his touch. 

 “everything okay?” joel’s murmur set her skin alight with goosebumps as he left kisses against the crook of her neck, and she hummed, grabbing his hand as it rested against her shoulder. “everything’s perfect,” she whispered back in reply, and joel’s eyelids peeled open, deep brown irises falling over the framed photo of him and his long-lost daughter. 

 she watched his facial features soften in the reflection of the window, and she gripped his hand tighter, anchoring him back down to her. “i guess no matter how hard you try, you can’t escape your past.”

 “got it all nice and framed for you,” she soothed the back of his hand with the pad of her thumb. “ellie found one lying around. how convenient that it was a perfect fit.”

 for a moment, something gleamed in joel’s eyes, and she wondered if this was that same spark that appeared in the photograph. but it was gone just as fast as it came, and he broke away, his arms outstretched to the ceiling, muscles popping as he made his way over to the bed. 

 “you know, i can’t remember the last time i felt this clean,” he sighed, tearing back the covers and slipping into the freshly cleaned sheets, his body easing down into the mattress. her feet broke away from their spot on the floor, and she shuffled her way over to the bed, sliding in beneath the covers beside him. his arms folded behind his head as he stared at the ceiling, and he turned to look over at her as she brushed her fingers through his salt and pepper locks, damp and clean. “you finally smell nice for once, old man,” she teased, sliding her body down the mattress until she, too, gazed up at the ceiling. 

 “‘old man?’”

 “mhm.”

 “you’re starting to sound just like ellie.”

 her chest heaved as she laughed, and she flipped onto her side, scooting closer into him until she was snug up against him, her head resting on his chest. his arm draped itself across her back, his palm warm where it rested just above her ass. 

 “you know, this is the most at peace i’ve felt in… well, years,” she admitted, rubbing her cheek over his chest. joel hummed in agreement, his fingernails ghosting over her back as they traced patterns into her shirt. “you make me feel safe. i’ve never felt like that with anyone since the world turned to shit.”

 joel’s lips visibly upturned at that, “me neither.” she smiled as she gazed up at him, and when he smiled back down at her, she thought that this— this was exactly what home was supposed to feel like. 

 “you seem happy,” she murmured, pushing herself up onto her elbows to bring herself closer to his face, their lips but mere inches apart, their irises surging into one another. her heart skipped a few beats before he finally replied, “i am.”

 when their lips touch, god, it was as if there were nothing else that mattered, it was like the world itself melted away along with everything in it— every human, every clicker, every bloater, all of it seemed to feel like nothing. when joel kissed her, she felt invincible, like anything life wanted to throw her way would weigh like nothing on her shoulders. 

 joel made her feel so alive. 

 she caught joel by surprise when her tongue invaded his mouth, asking more from him, but he was happy to oblige. his arms wrapped around her tighter and he pulled her on top of him, her hands sifting through his dark, damp tendrils off hair before giving them gentle tugs. he hummed into her mouth just before she broke away, her fingers gripping at the hem of her t-shirt to pull it up and over her head. joel’s calloused palms wasted no time in cupping them, his rough skin feeling deliciously good over her pebbling nipples, and she threw her head back, rocking her hips back and forth over his crotch. 

 “first night in the new home and you just couldn’t wait to get your hands on me,” joel chuckled, sitting himself up so he could press wet kisses to the valley of her breasts. his kisses trailed all the way up her throat and to her chin, pressing soft, teasing pecks to her lips. her arms locked around his neck to tug him closer, and he smiled against her lips. “hell of a housewarming gift.”

 he’d managed to rid himself of his own shirt between kisses, his fingers toying with the hem of her shorts before he forced himself away from her lips, and they quickly rid themselves of the rest of their clothes. joel flipped her onto her back, her head comfortable where it rested against the pillows, and she watched in awe as he hovered over her, one hand wrapped around his cock, the other dragging two fingers up her slit, coating his digits with her slick. “please joel,” she whimpered, her teeth sinking down onto the plush of her bottom lip. “i want you. i need you.”

 he squeezed his shaft at her words and kneeled down between her open and waiting legs, pressing a kiss to the crook of her neck, trailing up to her chin and back to her lips, swiping loose strands of her hair behind her ear. “so goddamn beautiful,” he murmured, the head of his cock prodding against her entrance, and she stared into joel’s eyes, a silent plea for him to make them one. “when you look at me like that, i can’t hold myself back.”

 she hooked her arms beneath his, her fingernails clawing at his shoulder blades, drawing him in closer. “then don’t,” she whispered. “let yourself go for me, joel.”

 how could he resist?

 when joel pushed himself all the way in, her back arched up and off of the bed, her toes curling as she mewled his name into his neck, her sockets glossy with a fresh batch of tears. sure, they’d done this before, but never like this. never did they have the luxury of time, and tonight, they were rich with it. 

 joel took his time, but his thrusts were powerful, dominant, forcing her further back into submission with each piston of his hips. her mind was a murky slime, every other thought in her head seemingly melting away until all she could think was joel, joel, joel. 

 his breath was hot as it fanned over her face, his skin red and warm to the touch, her own skin feeling like it’d melt off by being so close to him. she was feeling close to the edge, so dangerously close that he could feel it. her skin was dewy with sweat, her face hot to the touch, but to joel, she was glowing. he leaned down to her level, his lips capturing hers in his kiss, and when he pulled away, she gazed up at him with those big, blissed out eyes, and said the three words he longed to hear from her over and over again. 

 “i love you,” she whined, her fingernails breaking the skin on his back as she clenched around his length, her body quaking with the impact of her orgasm. “oh god, fuck joel, i love you. i love you, i love you.”

 and with a final, particularly harsh thrust, joel spilled himself into her, words at the tip of his tongue but not quite able to come out just yet. he collapsed on top of her, his skin melting into hers, his cock still twitching inside of her, both of their spends mixing with one another, leaking down onto the sheets. 

 so much for having a fresh set. 

 when the high of their releases began to wear off, joel slid off of her, carefully pulling himself out of her aching cunt as he settled in beside her, and she immediately snuggled in closer to him, unwilling to let go of his warmth just yet. he chuckled, happily opening his arms up for her to cuddle in close, his fingertips weaving through her tresses, nails massaging her scalp. 

 “you feeling okay?” he asked, pressing his lips to the frown of her head as she hummed and nodded in response, her eyelids beginning to feel heavy. “good. good,” he murmured, drawing in impossibly closer, letting his own eyelids droop. 

 joel sighed, for once, feeling content. 

 “i love you— so, so much, baby girl,” joel whispered close to her ear, uncertain if she had heard it or not. 

 she smiled. 

 of course she did. 

a/n; man i just finished replaying both of the games for like the sixth time and i’m crying all over again lmao i am just so so so excited for the show, i’m really hoping they’ll do the games justice because the games are so near and dear to my heart (even though i have my own problems with the second one lol) so enjoy this fic! feel free to imagine whichever joel you like, whether that be the game joel or pedro’s joel <3 i love both of them with all my heart omg and also side note, please excuse the horrendous writing lol i haven’t written in months so i feel a bit out of practice…

[talesfrommedinastation]

On Neurodiversity and Parenting

Before I get into the meat of this, let me tell you about one of the best vacations I’ve ever had as a parent. 

It was a group of my good friends, all alumni of the same university. We all graduated in the same year, we had all been roommates, the works. But we are now super busy professionals, and hadn’t seen each other in years. 

So, we organized a 5 day long extravaganza in the desert. We rented a massive house with a HUGE, gorgeous pool, a game room, volleyball court, and plenty of bedrooms for the people coming. We had two married couples, two single people, and 4 kids in between the ages of 1 to 7. The area surrounding us had museums, outdoor activities, and a few breweries. 

It should have been hell, especially for someone like me, who has mild ASD, shoved into this house with all of these people. Noise, socializing, the whole kit and kaboodle. 

It was awesome. Why? 

My daughters (both of whom are very young) were always fed, watched over, and entertained by the two other kids and at least another adult at all times. Responsibilities were shared, and communication was crystal clear. I myself was never stressed out, worried, angry, or overwhelmed–all things that happen when you have ASD and loud, social activities are happening.  

We, as adults, all took turns with the kids and allowed ourselves to retreat and relax when it was needed. The kids, as a result, were all conked out by 7 pm, allowing us to mingle and chill on our own time. It was one of the few vacations I’ve taken as a parent where I came back refreshed and recharged. 

I bring this up, because many times, neurodiverse individuals are often infantilized, belittled, or even mocked when we talk about having families. Worse is the borderline eugenics comments, the ‘do you want more people like you in the world’ remarks. Which is disgusting, but not unexpected. 

I’m also writing this because our favorite neurodivergent clone, Tech, finds himself as the father of a small daughter in Far Past the Ring. I went through this storytelling route as I wanted to not only explore Belter vs Clone biology (more on that later) but also how neurodiverse folks can successfully parent. 

Far Past the Ring is not meant to be a found family fluff piece–it is an epic story of two cultures meeting, working together, and fighting for their right to live.

It’s also about the growth of Tech from a defective commando in a massive army to becoming a leader amongst his chosen people, the Belters of The Expanse. 

Besides, I do not like most of the formats in which Tech is presented with kids when it is written–he’s often seen as bumbling, cold, or irritated, none of which is flattering, or, to be perfectly candid, canon (The man can handle himself in battles and facing monsters, but not a whining kid? Come on now, his brother is Wrecker). I think it paints an unflattering picture of how neurodiverse people are interpreted as parents, and I find that both ableist and, quite frankly, ignorant. 

I say this, again, as a neurodiverse mother of two neurotypical girls, both of whom are bright, happy, loved children. 

So, let’s dive in. 

How to Successfully Parent as a Neurodiverse Individual:

- Support: Teamwork makes the dream work. This is one of the biggest things in successfully raising children, and one I hope you’ve gathered from both the story above and in Far Past the Ring. But it especially rings true for the ND parent, who might be exhausted socially and psychologically from being ‘on’ with a small child, constantly. 

I myself have struggled with this, as my daughters love their mama, and often climb, grab, yell, and scream, even when it makes me anxious and worked up (being touched out is AWFUL, let me tell you).

But having other outlets of affection and support for children helps an ND parent. Knowing that they had other people to help them makes me a better parent, and my daughters are confident in knowing that so many in this world love them. 

One especially cruel comment screamed at Tech by his daughter’s aunt in Far Past the Ring is that he is ‘not wanted, nor needed’. While this is tragic that Tanke Drummer said this to him (and has extreme ramifications throughout the story), she was not entirely incorrect. 

Omega 'Meg' Drummer, Tech’s daughter, was currently being raised by not only her mother, but also by two aunts, an uncle, and older cousins that were always there to take care of her in a massive family compound. She was also being raised in a culture that is very community oriented: a necessity for Belters to survive in a dangerous environment such as space. 

Hence why Sjael Drummer, Meg’s mother, is not especially angry or resentful when she sees Tech again. She’s had help and support, no questions asked, in raising their little girl. As she says in Into the Techiverse, Tech is a piece of the puzzle that fits in perfectly when he does arrive. 

The story would be much, much different if it was just Tech and his child’s other parent doing it alone. There would be a lot more stress, anxiety, and anger, no doubt.

But they are not, and that makes the difference.

Because of the communal nature of the Belters, not unlike those of the clones, and the large network of friends and family that live and work together on Medina Station, Tech and Sjael are not overwhelmed or stressed with their daughter. Additionally, Tech came into the picture when Meg was a toddler, not as an infant, so things are bound to be different. 

Later, when Tech becomes more entrenched within the Drummer family, when he’s worn out, there’s other family members to help, the man doesn’t even need to ask. Homeboy won the support lottery, per se. Speaking of which…

- Communication: It was mentioned in previous author’s notes, but being able to effectively talk to your parenting partner is even more crucial than your romantic partner, simply because you have other lives depending on you. In the case of my vacation example, my friends and husband are all massive talkers with no filters. 

Passive aggressive hints that my ND self would have missed–well, that just didn’t happen! When someone was exhausted, needed a break, or needed to do something (cook, clean, etc), it was either verbally stated or texted, and quickly adhered to. 

Tech, luckily, managed to knock up a Belter. The Belter culture of The Expanse is not only community oriented, but their communication style is very forward and blunt. Passive-aggressive, subtle behaviors are a waste of time to them. If something is needed by another person, it is stated quickly and without issue.

After all, Belters are people who spend their entire lives in space. As a result, things must happen efficiently, or terrible occurrences can happen. Not only that, but Sjael Drummer lives with her extended family, where everyone is either talking or communicating via text or message on their comms devices, a necessity for space living and survival that is a common part of Belter life. 

If our neurodivergent prince needs help, he can easily blurt it out and be helped, no judgment at all. And having that takes a massive load off of your back as a parent, especially if you are ND. 

- Have A Retreat: Admittingly, living in a house with tons of other people can be hell for the ND individual. I struggled with that as a kid in a massive Catholic family, but luckily, had a retreat for myself when I was overstimulated via my bedroom. Thus, I’ve learned, having a recharge station (like an office or a bedroom) is necessary for a successful ND parent. Currently, I have my office/studio in my home. 

As for Tech, he starts off with Sjael’s room, followed by other spaces as the story unfolds, such as spots on the Rocinante and the massive apartment that Clone Force 99 moves into at the very end of Far Past the Ring. Keep an eye out.

Additionally, he’s never overstimulated by his child, thanks to the supportive network he has. This stems from both from his brothers and his daughter’s extended family, going right back to the communal nature of The Belt.

I say all of this not only as a parent and an ND individual, but as a friend of many on the spectrum as well. I’ve seen some really struggle, and it’s usually due to one of the mentioned things above not being met properly. Where the ND parent is anxious from overstimulation, overwork, or just feeling too much, having help, communication, and an outlet makes them a successful parent.

Actually, I think it would help all of us as parents, now that I think about it.

[twinanimatronics]

Your fic (and Lofi, of course) has some of the strongest dedication to canon adherence I've ever seen in a DA fic, yet still manages to tell a wonderful new story within those bounds. That makes me curious though- how do you feel about other fics, which generally don't stick as close to the canon? Or fics that throw the entire canon out the window and do whatever they want?

Chejcjejd

Thank you >////< I take that as a compliment and confirmation that I’m doing a good job of fitting all the puzzle pieces we as the fandom have been given together.

Like, this is just mostly really specific to me cause of where my little ADHD/Autistic brain lands on the spectrum—

I’m extremely detail oriented and really get into my research when I hyper-fixate. But I feel my Master Doc for the Daycare Attendant kinda already made that obvious XD

Literally me:

Also—

I and @dana-chan-the-control-brain—my partner in crime for years now—just REALLY love the challenge of theorizing and story crafting within the limitations of what happened in canon.

It’s fun and it lets us use our overthinking tendencies to do something creative instead of stressing over irl stuff.

We will slightly change things to incorporate any new lore as it’s found out/revealed (like it being canonically 2035 in Security Breach) so that it’ll still all perfectly fit with the narrative we want to tell without changing the core elements of either.

Like, without going into spoilers, the canonical year made us have a deep plotting debate session for things planned but not revealed yet that would need adjusting.

And I won’t lie, sometimes I can be really aggravating with trying to get things to fit and make sense XD.

But we eventually came to a revelation/decision, with some helpful input from @witchysolfan, that made everything work out to our advantage.

Also, also—

Security Breach actually allows for a lot more wiggle room than you’d think because of the fact it has multiple endings.

All the endings are canon to their own contained timelines, even if the TRUE Ending is the Afton one. It’s just a matter of picking one to follow.

And if you DON’T pick a canon Security Breach ending or decide to say none of it happened and forgo canon all together, that in itself is ALSO technically canon.

Cause Scott has confirmed that the different iterations of the FNaF story he’s presented through the games and books are all their own contained realities.

The books are “What if?“ scenarios involving if one, or two, or more things were changed and give hints for what happened in the main timeline: the game timeline.

Everything happened and even things that canonically DIDN’T still exist in another timeline as games or books as made-up stories (Or NOT made up stories that they’re TRYING to pass as fake as we saw in Help Wanted).

Like—

Let’s take the Sun and Moon lore leaked from Books #3 and #4 of Tales From the Pizzaplex for this.

@thatmooncake @pixelchills @ ing you guys for this part cause I think you might be interested in this take.

The books say that Sun and Moon were a repurposed theater animatronic and that Moon is sort of a glitch/virus that was always evil.

The books also say the generators were put in place cause of power-fluctuations to keep Moon at bay from the beginning of the daycare’s run.

Now.

This may be true for THAT timeline. But there are a lot of elements that can apply and change to make this fit anyone’s fic if they really want to include as many elements as they can (like me)

Moon being a glitch/always evil and a problem as the character who reveals this info says is a LIE.

Because what is Fazbear Entertainment REALLY good at?

Coverups.

Hiding the truth.

Because this fucking building as of the second Tales book is confirmed to be built on top of the corpses of 11 construction workers and 8 teenagers that snuck onto the construction site/.

There’s potential this dude is LYING that Moon was always a problem or a glitch. Moon could have easily been fine and really sweet and gentle with the kids when not playing around with them pretending to be an evil gremlin.

They also may have never served as performance animatronics and were always a daycare attendant from the beginning.

Their appearance and night and day concept was potentially intended for the theater. But maybe during their production things were changed, the previous daycare attendant animatronic (Foxy) needed to be replace and their AI reprogrammed even before they were first turned on.

Maybe Moon ISN’T a glitch and was preprogrammed in like Sun from the beginning and they’re just telling their staff that he’s just a glitch or virus that’s been quarantined so no one looks too deeply into his source coding. Otherwise they would see he was not only programmed to fill the role of watching over sleeping children, but was also intended to be “corrupted” (locked in “Evil”TM mode) and used to abduct these same children.

Or maybe he IS a glitch and the result of Sun’s programing splitting into two AI. But not a bad glitch. Not from the beginning. And they just decided to take advantage of and run with this.

If Moon was never intended, why is he everywhere?

Why would FazFuck Entertainment promote him as much if they were really trying to bury and forget about him?

Why HAVEN’T they tried to erase him from nearly every location of the Pizzaplex like they have with Bonnie?

There are so many possibilities and explanations. And all can be canon just as much as the initial claim in the books.

It can be true. It can be a lie. Or it can be a half truth.

And that’s just about Moon. I didn’t even touch when the generators were really installed yet.

Anyway, I rambled on a lot XD

I hope this answered your question.

[mortaltempless]

it's more the being unknown

~1.4k, Rated G, Galadriel/Sauron

Even at the end of the world, Frodo remains curious as to what drives Galadriel.

The hobbit, for all his long millenia of bravery and kindness, for all his suffering, looked terrified, and he knew it. An awful humiliation on this final day.

"Do not fear, young Frodo," Galadriel offered. "It will be painless. The One would not stand for anything else."

That morning, they had all seen Galadriel's uncle stalk proudly and with purpose out of the Halls of Mandos, preparing his chariot. All knew what that meant.

Frodo offered a weak smile to Galadriel.

"What will come after, my lady?" he whispered. He knew his duty. He wore armour, for the first time in the many Ages of his life. He would defend Middle Earth, and give thanks to Erú as the world broke apart. But that did not stop the fear.

Still, Galadriel smiled softly and sweetly -- a rare gift. 

"I'm not sure, my friend," she said. "But it will be beautiful." 

Frodo nodded, not much reassured. Galadriel checked over his armour, her own long-since fitted perfectly to her form.

"Will you stay with me?" he asked softly, somewhat ashamed of the quake in his voice. Galadriel looked down and away, and for a moment the hobbit thought she would not answer.

"Frodo, there is --" she looked at him, blue eyes shining. "It is the end of the world. And my part in this story is over."

A pause as she looked down again, at the shining, iridescent silver of her breastplate, the gold star gleaming like a fire in the centre. 

"There will be no tomorrow, old friend. So there is only one way I wish to spend my last hours." her voice was a delicate whisper. 

Ever since he arrived on the shores of Valinor, he had grown close to Galadriel. One of the few familiar faces in this strange land. The other elves stared at him, and found him to be a curious oddity. Only those who knew him from Middle Earth continued to treat him with respect and kindness, rather than as an amusing child who just learned to toddle. Even so, he could not miss the rumours that followed the once-Lady of Lothlórien. Most of them, he could dismiss out of hand. Even after all his long years, he remembered the Sackville-Bagginses well enough to recognise petty jealousies and family rivalries when he saw them. 

But there were other rumours, ones that stuck in his craw. Ones that made his mind itch with the memory of Galadriel's woods, and the Ring, louder than it had ever been, whispering incessantly to him -- soclosesoclosesoclose -- praise Erú that Galadriel had the wisdom to reject it. But no, Frodo dismissed the thought, there was no way that, after everything, Galadriel would --

"Mithrandir will look after you and Bilbo," she said. "You will not be alone for even a moment." 

Frodo did not reply. He just blinked slowly at the elf. He was not sure if she wanted his permission, or if she was telling him instead.

He put it out of his mind for hours, watching the events of that final eternal day unfold around him. Chaos and waiting. Waiting and chaos. These alternating moods threatened to undo him. He stood by Galadriel, Gandalf and Bilbo, the four of them stuck carefully together as it all unfolded, with the elf and wizard guiding the halflings across bloody battlefields, carefully keeping them away from the worst of the battles. Indeed, Frodo's own blade remained clean. 

He supposed he should be pleased about that.

But that all changed once he saw It. That was the only thing that came to mind: It. The armour was unmistakable, and for the first time in countless years, Frodo's shoulder burned. An ancient wound awakened by its ultimate cause. It made a sick sort of sense that Sauron would piece himself together enough to witness his master's final attempt at dominance. 

Gandalf's hand was on his shoulder, his voice comforting and low. 

"He will not come near you, old friend," he murmured. Frodo sobbed, nodded, but could not help the way he curled into the wizard in fear.

"I don't --" his voice trembled. "I don't want to die like this." 

Frodo was brave. His strength and kindness was famed across the world, far beyond Middle Earth. The gentle halfling who toppled a god without ever taking a life. But he felt as though tears and terror were all he had left.

"And you won't," This voice was soft as well, but with an almost incomprehensible depth of kindness and feeling to it. Galadriel's soft hair brushed his arm as she laid a kiss on his forehead. "He won't ever touch you, old friend." 

With a squeeze of his hand and a meaningful look to Gandalf, she was gone.

"What is she doing?" Bilbo asked, his hand rubbing soothing circles into his nephew's shoulder. Gandalf didn't reply, but his sigh contained an age of sorrow. 

She walked slowly, calmly towards the towering figure, discarding weapons as she went.

Her quiver.

Her bow and arrow.

Her sword.

And finally, a dagger. 

Sauron, for his part, possessed a stillness that Frodo would never have guessed. Sword in one hand, mace in the other. He gave up neither weapon. 

The hobbit's heart was in his mouth, certain that Galadriel had miscalculated, certain that at any moment, Sauron would swipe his mace at her, smashing her bones into pieces. But he did no such thing.

Instead, by some magic, Frodo heard every word, even at this distance.

"I always hated that armour," Galadriel said. The figure tilted its awful head at her.

"Too frightening?" His voice was muffled, but sounded little like the wraith that had haunted the hobbit's nightmares for millennia. 

"Too much like a little boy's. Far too cumbersome, even for you," Galadriel replied. There was something in her voice that Frodo could not recognise. Still, the Dark Lord's next act threw any thought of Galadriel from his mind as his hands reached up, and unlatched his helmet. 

It came to the ground with a loud clang.

Frodo couldn't breathe. 

Sauron looked…disarmingly normal. He remembered Strider…Aragorn…whatever, and his ranger friends…Sauron would not look out of place among them. Scraggly haired and scruffy, and far from the beast he imagined lurked beneath the helm. And it is only then that he identifies the note beneath Galadriel's speech, even at this dire moment: amusement. 

"Gandalf," Frodo whispered, almost against his will. "What is she doing?" 

The wizard had not taken his eyes off the pair, a wariness to his gaze even now at the end of everything. 

"Hmm?" he asked, as though he had not heard every word Frodo uttered.

"I don't think she's in much danger, my lad," said Bilbo, keen eyes alight with curiosity. Frodo shook his head. 

"She needs --" he did not know how to finish the sentence, felt rooted to the spot, even as his breath caught when Sauron's mace crashed to the ground beside him. 

"I believe the Lady will do quite fine without our aide, my boy," said Gandalf, still fixed on the pair. 

Frodo strained to hear them now, no doubt a result of Galadriel's magic fading, or perhaps an alteration of the spell. The rumours burst into his mind again -- perhaps it was for privacy.

"Of course I did not visit --" 

"Thousands of years in the dark, Galadriel --"

"And whose fault --"

Now he could believe them. Then, they stood in silence for a long moment, and when Galadriel spoke again, it was crystal clear to Frodo's ear, even as he could see his uncle surreptitiously straining forwards to hear as Gandalf kept a tight grip on the more troublesome halfling. 

"If this is the end, do we really want to spend it on another battlefield?" Her voice was soft, and achingly sad. 

"It would be fitting," Sauron replied, just as clearly to Frodo's ear. "But yes, I rather agree. This is not how we should spend the last of our time."

By the end of the statement, his voice was quiet and hoarse. Gandalf's eyes shut, and the wizard let out a sigh that contained centuries of tension. 

Sauron's sword also fell to the ground as he stared at Galadriel, something impossible in his eyes that Frodo simply refused to name. 

The last the hobbit saw of Galadriel was this: walking, off the last battlefield, in perfect step with the Dark Lord of Mordor, their weapons discarded.

[imeanitplsmorenamifics]

𝚃𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚘𝚛 𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚝 𝙰𝚜𝚔𝚜

The request ideas for the people who love Taylor Swift! Some of these can be platonic, while some are romantic. These are also vice versa (it could be about you doing something or about them doing it). Rules can be found here. Asks are here. Masterlist is here. Flower asks ideas are here and Hozier asks are here. 💔- Angst 💖- Fluff 💌- Personal fav.

𝓓𝓮𝓫𝓾𝓽

Tim McGraw ~ You leave them a letter months after things have ended. 💔

Picture to Burn ~ You put them on blast after they broke your heart by cheating. 💔💌

Teardrops On My Guitar ~ You're in love with them, but they're in love with someone else. 💔

A Place In This World ~ You don't know where you belong, so they tell you. 💖

Cold As You ~ Loving them is like loving a grey brick wall. 💔

The Outside ~ You were always lonely, an outcast. That was before you met them. 💔💖

Tied Together with a Smile ~ Struggling with insecurities about your self-image is always hard. They're able to make it a bit better. 💔💖💌

Stay Beautiful ~ Loving someone who is loved by everyone. 💖

Should've Said No ~ They come crawling back to you after they cheated, begging for forgiveness. 💔

Mary's Song (Oh My My My) ~ A lifetime of love together. 💖

Our Song ~ When people disapprove of your relationship, but you don't care. 💖

I'm Only Me When I'm With You ~ No matter what, you can always rely on the fact that the other's always going to be there. 💖

Invisible ~ They're crushing on someone who's not you. You're in love with them. 💔

A Perfectly Good Heart ~ They suddenly decided to break up with you, even though everything was fine. 💔

𝓕𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼

Fearless ~ They're always getting you out of your comfort zone. 💖

Fifteen ~ Sharing your experiences of your first heartbreaks. 💔💖

Love Story ~ You plan to run away together, but they don't show up. They surprise you with something better. 💔💖

Hey Stephen ~ They discourage you from falling in love with them. You do anyways. 💔💖

White Horse ~ They came to save you too late. You already saved yourself this time. 💔

You Belong With Me ~ They're dating someone who doesn't deserve them. You try to make them see they deserve better. 💔💖

Breathe ~ You both decide it would be better to break things off. It kills you inside. 💔

Tell Me Why ~ They say one thing, but their actions always tell a different story. 💔

You're Not Sorry ~ After many screwed chances, you finally decide to call it quits. 💔

The Way I Loved You ~ You're in a good relationship, but miss the complicatedness of your old one. 💔💖

Forever & Always ~ Things started out so well; now everything is in pieces. 💔💖

The Best Day ~ You/They are their/your older sibling, and you/they always look out for each other. 💖💌

Change ~ After a life of constantly being beaten down, you have no idea what to do when things start working out. 💔💖

Jump Then Fall ~ You are head over heels in love with every single thing they do. 💖

Untouchable ~ Everything is saying you should be together. They're too scared. 💔💖

Come In With The Rain ~ You're always putting in all the effort. You give them opportunities for them to step forward. What will they do? 💔 or 💖

Superstar ~ You're just one of the many people in love with them. 💔

The Other Side of the Door ~ You say things you don't mean but are too prideful to take any of it back. 💔

Today Was a Fairytale ~ Your love is like a fairytale. 💖

You All Over Me ~ Everything you do reminds you of them. 💔

Mr. Perfectly Fine ~ You're mourning the relationship while they act like it meant nothing to them. 💔

We Were Happy ~ Looking back on the happy times of the relationship after everything is over. 💔💖

That's When ~ You're the one that leaves. They'll let you back in no matter what. 💔💖

Don't You ~ You hate them after they've moved on. You hate them because you love them. 💔

Bye Bye Baby ~ Right person, wrong time. 💔

𝓢𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓴 𝓝𝓸𝔀

Mine ~ You watched your parents' relationship fail. You're convinced that yours will never last. 💔💖

Sparks Fly ~ When everyone tells you not to love them, you know you shouldn't love them, and yet you still do. 💖

Back to December ~ You made a mistake that ended the relationship. You see them years later and want to start over. 💔

Speak Now ~ You're at their wedding, and you object. 💔💌

Dear John ~ When nothing you do is ever good enough for them. 💔

Mean ~ You were bullied relentlessly as a kid. Now that you're well-known in the pirate world, you and your crew go back to your hometown to visit. 💖

The Story of Us ~ Many misunderstandings have led to neither of you knowing the fate of your relationship. 💔

Never Grow Up ~ You remember when they were a little kid. Now, they're all grown up and don't need you anymore. You realize you didn't have a childhood. (strictly platonic) 💔💖

Enchanted ~ You have a fated encounter with a good-looking stranger. They're all you think about. What happens when you meet them again? 💖

Better Than Revenge ~ You let everyone know exactly what happened in your relationship, specifically, why it ended. 💔💌

Innocent ~ You both reminisce about how simple everything was in childhood. 💔💖

Haunted ~ They're not what you thought they were. They show this to you once and for all. 💔

Last Kiss ~ You didn't know your last moments with them would actually be your last. 💔

Long Live ~ When you felt like you conquered the world. 💖

Ours ~ You only laugh at the people who disapprove of your relationship. 💖

Superman ~ They're always so focused on saving people that it feels like they never have time for you. 💖

Electric Touch ~ Just by touching you could they set you on fire. 💖

When Emma Falls In Love ~ The many times love never works out, and the one time it does. 💔💖💌

I Can See You ~ The others can never find you once you go off alone. You don't want them to. 💖

Castles Crumbling ~ You turn into what they hate. 💔

Foolish One ~ You're convinced that they're going to like you eventually, they're just leading you on. 💔

Timeless ~ Finding a picture of a couple back in the day has you imagining what it would've been like to be in love with them (character) during that time. 💖

𝓡𝓮𝓭

State of Grace ~ People can confidently say that your relationship was one of the epic loves from the books. 💖

Red ~ You've never felt the intense emotions this relationship has brought you. 💖

Treacherous ~ You've just met, but you can already imagine a whole life together. 💖

I Knew You Were Trouble ~ You knew it wasn't going to work out. You risked it anyway. 💔

All Too Well ~ Moving on is hard, especially when they haven't returned one of your belongings. 💔

22 ~ The best times you've had with your friends. 💖💌

I Almost Do ~ Things in the relationship ended badly. When you see each other again, you start thinking about doing it all again. 💔

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together ~ You're an off-and-on couple. They tried to ask you out again the last time you broke up. You turn them down in the most embarrassing way possible. 💔 or 💖

Stay Stay Stay ~ Arguments are expected in every relationship. You always make sure to talk it out in the end. 💖

The Last Time ~ It's an ongoing cycle of love and hurt. You say this is the last time you'll let them back in, knowing it won't be. 💔

Holy Ground ~ You can't help but think about your first love from your teen years. You wonder if they think about you too. 💔💖💌

Sad Beautiful Tragic ~ You're not angry anymore, just sad. 💔

The Lucky One ~ You move on to bigger things and leave the crew. They think you're doing great when you meet again. They couldn't be more wrong. 💔💌

Everything Has Changed ~ Your life changes when you meet them. 💖

Starlight ~ You sneak into an elite party and dance the night away. 💖💌

Begin Again ~ Your last relationship was one of the worst. You weren't expecting the next one to be so great. 💖

The Moment I Knew ~ This was important, they knew it was. So why didn't they show? 💔

Come Back... Be Here ~ Long distance was never easy. 💔

Girl At Home ~ They say pirates have someone in every port. You were determined not to be part of that statistic. 💖💌

Better Man ~ You had to break it off, but you can't help but miss who they could be. 💔

Nothing New ~ Growing up being heavily criticized and told you're uninteresting takes its toll. This affects any relationship. 💔💖

Babe ~ "You said, 'No one else.' How could you do this, babe?" 💔

Message In a Bottle ~ You try to find them after years apart and use any means necessary. 💖💌

I Bet You Think About Me ~ They always made you feel like you weren't good enough for them. You know that they think of you every day regardless. 💔

Forever Winter ~ You never knew they were hurting. 💔

Run ~ You dream about running away together. 💖

The Very First Night ~ You try to distract yourself from missing them, and it never works. 💔

All Too Well (10 Minute Version) ~ Like the previous All Too Well request, but angrier and more depressing. 💔💌

1989

Welcome to New York ~ Life got so much better after you joined the Strawhats. 💖💌

Blank Space ~ You've had a long list of lovers, and you're more than happy to add their name. 💖💌

Style ~ You complement each other well. 💖

Out of the Woods ~ Nothing can tear you apart. That doesn't mean things don't try. 💔💖

All You Had To Do Was Stay ~ They drove you away. Now they want you back. 💔💖

Shake It Off ~ Some comments are hard to shake off. They help you. 💖

I Wish You Would ~ You regret leaving like you did. 💔

Bad Blood ~ Lovers to enemies. 💔

Wildest Dreams ~ All you ask is that they remember you fondly when it all ends. 💔💖

How You Get The Girl ~ They get advice from others on how to get you back. 💖

This Love ~ The ups and downs of the relationship. 💔💖

I Know Places ~ When things are too much, you know the perfect place to go. 💔💖

Clean ~ You no longer associate them with your favorite things. 💔💖

Wonderland ~ You always seem to get in trouble together. 💖

You Are In Love ~ You never expected them to be the person you fell for. 💖

New Romantics ~ A day in the life of a pirate crew. 💖

Slut! ~ The names don't matter as long as you're with them. 💖

Say Don't Go ~ You want to leave just to see if they'll ask you to stay. 💔

Now That We Don't Talk ~ You hear about how much they've changed since things ended. 💔

Suburban Legends ~ Things weren't as great as you made them out to be. 💔

Is It Over Now? ~ You can never pinpoint when the relationship actually ended. 💔

Sweeter Than Fiction ~ You knew they would get past the hard times that threatened to down them. 💖

𝓻𝓮𝓹𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

... Ready for it? ~ Outlaw couple goals! 💖💌

End Game ~ "He's your first love. I intend to be your last." 💖

I Did Something Bad ~ You prove to them that you never needed them. 💔💖💌

Don't Blame Me ~ Love makes people do crazy things. 💖

Delicate ~ You've both had rough lives. You always make sure the other is comfortable. 💖

Look What You Made Me Do ~ They play games well. You play them better. 💔💖💌

So It Goes... ~ You can never keep your hands off each other once you get alone. 💖

Gorgeous ~ You showed up with one person, you want to leave with a different one. 💖

Getaway Car ~ You/They used the other and started feeling a little bad. 💔

King of My Heart ~ They don't try to impress you like every other person. They let you be you and them be them. 💖

Dancing With Our Hands Tied ~ You and them to the end. No exceptions. 💔💖

Dress ~ No one knows the true extent of your relationship. 💖

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things ~ They're always in your corner. No lies can change that. 💔💖

Call It What You Want ~ People think they know you. They don't know who you are when you're with them. 💖💌

New Year's Day ~ Cleaning up after an eventful day ends with you confessing how you never want to lose them (or vice versa). 💖

𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻

I Forgot That You Existed ~ You finally don't let them consume your thoughts. 💔💖

Cruel Summer ~ Falling off the wagon always sucks. But why does it feel so good? 💖

Lover ~ All you want is to be with them. It's as simple and as complicated as that. 💖💌

The Man ~ Patriarchy is a bitch. They can be a bigger one. 💖

The Archer ~ Why would anyone stay in a relationship with you? Better question, why wouldn't they? 💖

I Think He Knows ~ You are ridiculously in love with them and haven't confessed yet. They already know. 💖💌

Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince ~ You're the favorite couple; everyone knows you're going to stay together. They don't see the problems. 💔💖

Paper Rings ~ You get engaged as children with paper rings. 💖💌

Cornelia Street ~ You'd never be able to go to your favorite place if things ended. That's exactly what happened. 💔

Death By A Thousand Cuts ~ You're recovering horribly after the breakup. 💔

London Boy ~ You're from a foreign country, and teach them about your home country. 💖

False God ~ There might be a chance you can get through this. 💔💖

You Need To Calm Down ~ People can't mind their own business. 💖

Afterglow ~ You say things you don't mean after overthinking. 💔💖

ME! ~You're the best person they're ever gonna find. 💖

It's Nice To Have A Friend ~ Childhood friends to lovers. 💖💌

Daylight ~ You've made mistakes. They see past those. 💖

All of The Girls You've Loved Before ~ The only reason they're so good to you is because of all the relationships before. 💖

𝓯𝓸𝓵𝓴𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓮

the 1 ~ You thought things would last. It always kills when it doesn't. 💔💌

cardigan ~ You were young, you didn't know what you wanted. Wrong. You wanted them, and they wanted you. 💖

the last great american dynasty ~ Years after the pirate age, you find a journal belonging to someone on the Strawhat crew. 💖💌

exile ~ You seem them after the breakup. Their new relationship looks a little similar. 💔

my tears ricochet ~ You have a falling out. So why are they crying over you now? 💔

mirrorball ~ They tell you that you don't have to put on a show anymore. 💔💖💌

seven ~ You come from different places and backgrounds. How beautiful it is to now be together. 💖💌

august ~ You're together unless someone asks. 💔

this is me trying ~ The relationship is different from any other. You have to adjust to the newness and not fall back into old habits. 💔💖

illicit affairs ~ Situationships are always the worst. 💔

invisible string ~ Some things are too convenient to be coincidences. 💖

mad woman ~ They always make you feel like you're being overdramatic. How else are you supposed to react? 💔

epiphany ~ With the world being as crazy as it is, the only place you find to be pleasant is your dreams, where you're with them again. 💔💖

betty ~ They ran off with someone else. Now they're back and wanting to be with you. 💔

peace ~ They are your peace (or vice versa). 💖

hoax ~ Their lies were always the prettiest. 💔

the lakes ~ You dream of running away with them to somewhere people understand you. 💔💖💌

𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮

willow ~ You'd do anything to have them, even if you didn't always understand them. 💖

champagne problems ~ You're not ready for the next step. 💔

gold rush ~ Everyone wants them. Why would they choose you? 💔

'tis the damn season ~ You can never seem to leave the other. 💔💖

tolerate it ~ They never appreciate your effort. 💔

no body, no crime ~ Framing your significant other for murder isn't too bad... Right? 💔💌

happiness ~ You were happy with them, but you were happy without them too. 💔💖

dorothea ~ You're left behind where they grew up. Now you only hear about them from word of mouth and newspapers. 💔💖

coney island ~ They're not who they used to be and that breaks you. You know it's because of you. 💔

ivy ~ You knew it wasn't right. You couldn't force yourself to stop though. 💔💖

cowboy like me ~ You never expected to fall in love and yet here you are. In love with them of all people. 💔💖

long story short ~ You put all your troubles behind you so you can be with them, completely. 💖

closure ~ They send you a letter to see how you're doing after everything. You say you're doing great. You lied. 💔

evermore ~ You keep replaying the moment where everything went wrong. 💔

right where you left me ~ They moved on. You stayed exactly where you were. 💔

it's time to go ~ The only thing you can do now is leave. 💔

𝓜𝓲𝓭𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼

Lavender Haze ~ The honeymoon phase forever. 💖

Maroon ~ How you found and lost each other. 💔💖

Anti-Hero ~ They're going to leave. It's just a matter of when. 💔

Snow On The Beach ~ How you both fell in love together. 💖

You're On Your Own, Kid ~ You worked hard to get their attention just to learn you already had it before. 💖💌

Midnight Rain ~ Sometimes you're just not good for people. 💔

Question...? ~ You want to see how similar their past relationship is to your current one. 💔, could be 💖

Vigilante Shit ~ You show them you're the wrong person to mess with. 💔

Bejeweled ~ They don't let you shine. You do it anyway. 💔💌

Labyrinth ~ You went against your rules and fell in love again. 💔💖

Karma ~ Karma does the work of getting back at them for you. 💔

Sweet Nothing ~ A night in bed together is sometimes all you need. 💖💌

Mastermind ~ You planned everything to the last detail. They knew it. 💖

The Great War ~ You overthink and attack. You regret it when you calm down. 💔💖

Bigger Than The Whole Sky ~ You/They lose the other in the worst way possible. 💔

Paris ~ You spend all your time together that you don't even focus on anything else. 💖

High Infidelity ~ Your partner finds out about you and them (character). 💔

Glitch ~ You never considered things to go the way they did. 💖

Would've, Could've, Should've ~ Things would've been so much better if you stayed home that day. 💔

Dear Reader ~ You live a life of loneliness and isolation. They help. 💔💖

Hits Different ~ Moving on from relationships was never hard until you had to move on from them. 💔

You're Losing Me ~ This is the one time they can't understand why they're in the wrong. 💔💌

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓣𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓟𝓸𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓓𝓮𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽

Fortnight ~ You two have a serious fling and they end things when they don’t want to take the next step. You find out they’re with someone else, how you wanted to be with them. 💔

The Tortured Poets Department ~ They want to ruin everything from fear. You’re not gonna let them. 💔💖

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys ~ They only loved you before they broke you. You still try to convince yourself they still love you. 💔

Down Bad ~ You don’t want to let go after they end things. 💔

So Long, London ~ You’ve given them everything, waiting for them to give you something. That day never came. 💔

But Daddy I Love Him ~ You’re in love with someone who doesn’t have the best reputation in the community. You’ll say anything to keep them. 💖

Fresh Out the Slammer ~ Being with them is like being in prison. 💔

Florida!!! ~ You run away to have a fresh start. You can never seem to outrun them. 💔

Guilty as Sin? ~ You try to stay away from the person with the bad reputation, but can’t help but fantasize about them. You know that nothing can happen though. 💖💔

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? ~ You show them exactly who they messed with. 💔

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) ~ You are convinced that you can make them better. Everyone else thinks it’s a lost cause. 💖💔

loml ~ They said you were the love of their life but hurt you anyway. 💔

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart ~ You know how to put on a good show after the break-up. 💔

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived ~ They showed you off to higher their status and dropped you when they didn’t need you anymore. 💔

The Alchemy ~ You came to take them back and plan on following through with getting them back. 💖

Clara Bow ~ You always get told you look like your family. They see you as you. 💔

The Black Dog ~ You follow them to see where they always go and see something you never wanted to see. 💔

imgonnagetyouback ~ You don’t know whether you want to get them back or if you want to get back at them. 💔

The Albatross ~ Everyone tried to warn them about you and you tried to warn them about everyone else. Could be 💖or 💔

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus ~ They loved the thought of you and get upset when you don’t act like how they envision. 💔

How Did It End? ~ Your breakup is a crowd spectacle. 💔

So High School ~ You have the kicking your feet and grinning to yourself kind of relationship. 💖

I Hate It Here ~ You hate living life without them so you imagine what life could’ve been with them. 💖💔

thanK you aIMee ~ You rant about that one person you hate to them. 💖

I Look in People’s Windows ~ You can’t help but think about what could’ve been when you catch a glimpse of a party through a nearby window. 💔

The Prophecy ~ You plead with whatever higher power there is to let you have them back. 💔

Cassandra ~ They never believed what you say you went through back home until you went back. 💔

Peter ~ You both said it would only be temporary. They didn’t seem like they were going to come back and you can’t keep waiting. 💔

The Bolter ~ At the first sign of trouble, you immediately run. 💔, could be 💖

Robin ~ They make you feel like you have no regrets and no expectations. 💖

The Manuscript ~ You hated to lose them but couldn’t help be grateful for what it eventually brought you. 💔💖