#there were some deeper aspects of her character i wanted to explore with one of these web weaving things

[banamaak]

o mother, break this mirror 

what do i gain by adoring myself? 

— iman heidari

i. the chess game of the wind (1976) / ii. rumi / iii. the color of pomegranates (1969) / iv. the pomegranate, kahlil gibran / v. succession (2018) / vi. bohemian rhapsody, queen / vii. ten (2002) / viii. blasphemies at the 5th street station, s. osborn / ix. bulbbul (2020) / x. built for sin, framing hanley

[ineffable-endearments]

The Crow Road by Iain Banks

I finished The Crow Road and had a little time to think about it. I'll put my thoughts under a Keep Reading in case anyone is trying to avoid spoilers.

As I speculated before, I think it's likely that The Crow Road is more related to Good Omens in philosophy than in plot. I mean, it's not that the plots necessarily have nothing in common, and we could be very surprised in the end of course, but now that I've read the whole book, its philosophical commonalities with GO are both apparent and kind of inspiring. Also, if I were a writer, I'd be more interested in dropping hints about what themes are important than telegraphing my whole plot ahead of time.

So here, I will describe the book and point out themes that I believe may reappear in Good Omens 3.

This is a long post. If you read it, make a cup of [beverage of choice].

Update on 4/20/2024: I made a second post: The Crow Road and Good Omens: Further-Out Thoughts

Below are mentions of suicide, death/murder, and sexual acts.

The Crow Road centers around a character named Prentice McHoan, a university student in Scotland who starts to sort out his complicated relationship with his complicated family as he explores the mystery of his uncle Rory's disappearance. Although the book is mostly from Prentice's perspective, the narration jumps around in time with the McHoan family. There are quite a lot of important characters to keep track of; the bare-bones summary I put below doesn't even include some of the important ones. I wanted to make the summary even shorter and simpler than this, but the truth is that this book is not short or simple, and if I made the summary any simpler, it might be downright misleading.

There are at least three major cultural aspects of The Crow Road that I am inexperienced with: the overall culture in the 1950s-1980s (I was born in 1988, so of course wasn't here for the relevant decades), the international experience of the Gulf War (again, born in 1988), and the history and culture of Scotland itself (I'm USAmerican with only reading as a source). As a result, I'm sure there are important dimensions to the book that I've missed. If someone has a different perspective taking some of these things into account, I'd love to know about it.

Also, keep in mind, there is a great deal of descriptive writing in this book. There are a lot of pages about the geography of Scotland, and about Prentice as a kid, and about Prentice's father and uncles hanging out together in their youth, and about various family incidents, and about Prentice spending time with his brothers and friends. At first, these passages seem to just make things more confusing, and in my head, I accused them of being "filler." But they definitely serve a purpose. They're a way of showing and not telling the characters' attitudes and relationships to each other. More importantly, because we get to actually live these experiences with the characters, they are what give all the plot points below their deeper emotional impacts. In other words, the everyday experiences give the plot its deeper meaning. They resonate with one of the core themes in the novel: that our experiences in life, rather than any supposed existence after death, are what matters.

The Crow Road's story is like this:

Prentice is rather directionless in life, and he seems to have trouble investing any energy in his own future as he moons over his unrequited feelings for an idealized young woman named Verity. Soon, Verity ends up in a romance with Prentice's brother, Lewis, and Prentice feels that Lewis "stole" her from him. Prentice has also become estranged from his father, Kenneth, over spirituality. Prentice believes there has to be something more after death because he feels it would be incredibly unfair if people didn't get anything other than this one life; Kenneth is not only a passionate atheist, but is offended by the notion of an afterlife.

Prentice's uncle Hamish, Kenneth's brother, has always been religious, although his religion involves a number of bizarre and offbeat ideas of his own, with inspiration from more traditional Christian notions. Prentice is not really sure about this ideology, but he's willing to talk to Hamish about it and even participates during Hamish's prayers, whereas Kenneth is openly scornful of Hamish's beliefs. Hamish interprets this as Prentice being on "his side."

Prentice has a few opportunities to go back and talk to his father, and is begged to do so by his mom, Mary, with whom his relationship is still good. Mary doesn't want either of the men to give up their inner ideas about the universe; she just wants them to agree to disagree and move on as a family. Prentice says he will visit, but he just keeps putting it off and off and off.

Prentice acquires a folder containing some of his missing uncle Rory's notes in the process of hooking up with Rory's former girlfriend, Janice Rae, who seems to have taken a shine to Prentice because he reminds her of Rory. Using the contents of the folder, Prentice wants to piece together the great literary work that Rory left unfinished, which Rory titled Crow Road; however, it becomes apparent that Rory didn't turn his concepts into anything substantial and only had a bunch of disconnected notes and ideas. He hadn't even decided whether Crow Road would be a novel, a play, or something else. The few bits of Rory's poetry for Crow Road read are bleak and depressing.

Prentice also spends a lot of time with a young woman named Ash. They've been good friends since childhood and seem to have a somewhat flirtatious dynamic now, but they aren't in a romantic relationship; mostly, they drink and hang out together. Ash tells Prentice bluntly to get his life back on track when she finds out he's failing at school, avoiding his family, and engaging in shoplifting. She is a voice of reason, and when Prentice insists to her that he's just a failure, she reminds him that actually, he's just a kid.

Prentice's efforts to figure out Rory's story or location stagnate, and he continues to fail at school and avoid his father. He then receives word that Kenneth was killed while debating faith with Hamish. In fact, Kenneth dies after a fall from a church lightning rod, which he was climbing in an act of defiance against Hamish's philosophy when it was struck by lightning; Hamish is convinced that Kenneth had incurred God's wrath. Ash is there for support when Prentice finds out about the death.

With Ash's help, Prentice returns to his hometown again to help manage Kenneth's affairs. Prentice speaks with a very shaken Hamish, who is handling Kenneth's death with extreme drama and making it all about his own feelings. Hamish tells Prentice that Kenneth was jealous that Prentice shared more in common with Hamish's faith than with Kenneth's lack of faith. However, this isn't really true, and as he contemplates his father's death, Prentice begins to internalize one of the last things Hamish reported that Kenneth had argued: "All the gods are false. Faith itself is idolatry."

As the chapters go on, Prentice is compelled by some of the meaningful items related to Rory that he discovers in his father's belongings. He gains a renewed sense of purpose trying to solve the mystery of where Rory went and what happened to him. Among the interesting items are an ancient computer disk of Rory's that Prentice can't access with any equipment he can find; Ash uses her connections in the US and Canada to find a computer expert who can finally open the files on it. This takes quite a while, since the disk has to be mailed and Ash's connection is investigating the disk only in his free time.

Prentice also discovers that his feelings for Verity have changed. He no longer feels angry with Lewis for "stealing her." At first, Prentice's narration describes this as his feelings "cooling" as a result of the trauma of losing his father, but interestingly, this soon means Prentice gets to know Verity as a sister-in-law without getting caught up in jealous romantic feelings. Verity gets along well with the family, and Prentice is actually happy to discover that she and Lewis have a baby on the way. Prentice's relationship with Lewis improves greatly as well, partly because he is no longer jealous and partly because he realizes he does not want to lose Lewis, too.

Ash's connection who was looking at Rory's computer disk comes through and sends the printed contents of the files to Prentice. The files reveal to him that Rory likely knew Prentice's uncle, Fergus, murdered his wife by unbuckling her seat belt and crashing their car. Rory had written out a fictional version of events and considered using it in Crow Road. I'm not clear on exactly how certain Rory was about Fergus's crime, or whether Rory would have intentionally reported Ferg, or whether Rory even had enough proof to publicly accuse Ferg of murder, but people would likely have connected the dots in Rory's work and become suspicious of Ferg. For this reason, Prentice believes Ferg murdered Rory as well.

Prentice confronts Ferg. He doesn't get a confession and leaves Ferg's home with no concrete proof of anything; Ferg denies it all. But Prentice is soon physically assaulted in the night, and it seems Ferg was almost certainly the culprit, because he hadn't been home that same night, and he had injuries (probably from being fought off) the next day. A day or two later, Ferg's body is found unconscious in the cockpit of a plane, which crashes into the ocean. It's uncertain whether this was a suicide, but Prentice suspects it was. Rory's body is then soon recovered from the bottom of a waterway near Prentice's home, where Ferg had sunk it years ago.

As the mysteries are solved, Prentice realizes his feelings for Ash are romantic love. However, it's too late, he thinks, because Ash is about to take a job in Canada, where she may or may not stay. Prentice also hesitates to approach her because he's embarrassed about his previous behavior, venting all his angst about Verity and his father. He isn't sure she would even want to be in a relationship with him after that. But the very night before Ash leaves, she kisses Prentice on the cheek, which leads to a deeper kiss. They finally connect, have sex, and confess their mutual feelings. Ash still goes to her job in Canada, but says she'll come back when Prentice is done with his studies that summer.

The relationship's future is somewhat uncertain because something could come up while Ash is in Canada, but Prentice is hopeful. The book ends with Prentice getting ready to graduate with his grades on track as a history scholar, fully renouncing his belief in an afterlife while he acknowledges the inherent importance of our experiences in our lives now, and enjoying his time with Lewis and Verity and his other family members.

What's the point of all these hundreds of pages?

Well, look at all of the above; there's definitely more than one point. But the main point I took away is that we get this one life, with our loved ones in this world here and now, and this is where we make our meanings. There is no other meaning, but that doesn't mean there's no meaning at all. It means the meaning is here.

It's not death that gives life its meaning. It's the things we do while alive that give life its deeper meaning.

The Crow Road is described (on Wikipedia) as a Bildungsroman, a story focusing on the moral and philosophical growth and change of its main character as they transition from childhood to adulthood ("coming-of-age novel" is a similar term that is interchangeable, but more vague and not necessarily focused on morality/philosophy). And, indeed, all of the plots ultimately tie into Prentice's changed philosophy.

After his argument with Kenneth, Prentice feels childish and humiliated, and as a result, he refuses to go back home, which leads to a spiral of shame and depression. Kenneth dies and Prentice realizes it's too late to repair the relationship, which also leads him to realize it's what we do in life that matters, and that therefore, his father's argument was correct after all.

At the end of the novel, Prentice outright describes his new philosophy. However, I can't recall one specific passage where Prentice describes the process of how he changed his mind (if anyone else can remember something I missed, do let me know). There is, however, a moment when his narration indicates that Hamish seems less disturbed by his own part in the incident that led to Kenneth's death and more disturbed by the notion that his beliefs might actually be true: there might actually be an angry, vengeful God. In other words, Hamish's philosophy is selfish at its core.

My interpretation is that when his father died, Prentice realized three things: how utterly self-serving Hamish's devout faith is, how Kenneth's untimely death proves the importance of working things out now rather than in an imaginary afterlife, and how much profound meaning Kenneth had left behind despite having no faith at all. After these realizations, a determined belief in an afterlife no longer makes our lives here more profound like Prentice once thought it did.

Also, it's worth noting that this incident changes Prentice's idea of partnership, too. He loses interest in this distant, idealized woman he's been after. In love as in the rest of life, Prentice lets go of his ideals, and in doing so, he makes room for true meaning, both in a sincere familial, platonic connection with Verity and a sincere intimate, romantic connection with Ash.

But what about the sex scene?!

Yes, indeed, at the tail end of the story, Prentice and Ash have sex and admit they want to be in a relationship together. Prentice's narration describes them sleeping together and having intercourse not just once, but many times, including some slow and relaxed couplings during which they flex the muscles in their private parts to spell out "I.L.Y." and "I.L.Y.T." to each other in Morse code. This is relevant because earlier, they had been surprised and delighted to discover that they both knew Morse code; it isn't a detail that came from nowhere.

I didn't get the impression that this scene was trying to be especially titillating to the reader. It was mostly just a list of stuff the characters did together. I felt the point was that they were still anxious about being emotionally honest, a little desperate to convey their feelings without having to speak them out loud, and awkward in a way that made it obvious that their primary concern was the feelings, not the sexual performance. They cared about each other, but they weren't trying to be impressive or put on a show; contrast this with previous scenes where Prentice would act like a clown in front of Ash to diffuse his own anxiety. I've always thought that being able to have awkward sex and still enjoy it is a good sign.

Okay, so what does this all have to do with Good Omens?

Here's where I have to get especially interpretive. I'm doing my best, but of course, not everyone reading this will have the same perspective on Good Omens, the Final Fifteen especially. I believe similar themes are going to resonate between The Crow Road and Good Omens regardless of our particular interpretations of the characters' behavior and motivations, but I suppose it could hit differently for some people.

The TL;DR: I see similar themes between The Crow Road and Good Omens in:

The importance of mortal life on Earth

Meaning (or purpose) as something that we create as we live, not something that is handed to us by a supreme being

Sincere connection and love/passion (for people, causes, arts, life's work, etc) as a type of meaning/purpose

Relationships as reflections of philosophy

The dual nature of humanity

Life on Earth as the important part of existence is a core theme in Good Omens, and has been since the very beginning. We all already know Adam chose to preserve the world as it already is because he figured this out, and we all already know Aziraphale and Crowley have been shaped for the better by their experiences on Earth. But Good Omens isn't done with this theme by a long shot. I think this is the most important thematic commonality Good Omens will have with The Crow Road. Closely related is the notion that we create our meanings as we live, rather than having them handed to us. Isn't this, in a way, what Aziraphale struggles with in A Companion to Owls? He's been given this meaning, this identity, that doesn't fit him. But does he have anything else to be? Not yet.

Partnerships as a parallel to the characters' philosophical development also resonates as a commonality that The Crow Road may have with Good Omens. Prentice's obsession with Verity goes away when he starts to embrace the importance of life on Earth and makes room for his sincere relationship with Ash. Note their names: "Verity" is truth, an ideal Prentice's father instills in him; "Ashley" means "dweller in the ash tree meadow" in Anglo-Saxon, according to Wikipedia, and "ash" is one of the things people return to after death. Prentice literally trades his high ideals for life on Earth. We see in Aziraphale a similar tug-o'-war between Heaven's distant ideals and Crowley's Earthly pleasures, so I can see a similar process potentially playing out for him.

I don't particularly recall a ton of thematic exploration of free will in The Crow Road. However, there is a glimmer of something there: Prentice feels excessively controlled by Kenneth's desire to pass down his beliefs, and part of the reason Prentice is so resistant to change is simply his frustration with feeling censored and not being taken seriously. As the reader, I do get the feeling that while Prentice is immature, Kenneth made major mistakes in handling their conflict, too. And Kenneth's mistakes come from trying to dictate Prentice's thoughts. There is likely some crossover with Good Omens in the sense that I'm pretty sure both stories are going to take the position that people need to be allowed to make mistakes, and to do things that one perceives as mistakes, without getting written off as "stupid" or "bad" or otherwise "unworthy."

Suffice it to say that the human characters in Good Omens will also certainly play into these themes, but it's hard to write about them when we don't know much about them except that one of them is almost certainly the reincarnation of Jesus. This also makes me suspect perhaps the human cast will be 100% entirely all-new, or mostly new, symbolic of how Aziraphale and Crowley have immersed themselves in the ever-evolving, ever-changing world of life on Earth. Alternatively, if we encounter human characters again from Season 1 or 2, perhaps the ways they've grown and changed will be highlighted. For example, even in real-world time, Adam and Warlock have already, as of the time I'm writing this, gone through at least one entire life stage (from 11 in 2019 to 16 in 2024). They'll be legal adults in a couple of years, and if there's a significant time skip, they could be much older. If characters from Season 1 do reappear and themes from The Crow Road are prominent, I would expect either some key scenes highlighting contrasts and changes from their younger selves or for stagnation and growth to be a central part of their plot.

The more I write, the more I just interpret everything in circles. Hopefully this post has at least given you a decent idea of what The Crow Road is like and how it may relate to Good Omens.

I'll end this post with a quotation that feels relevant:

Telling us straight or through his stories, my father taught us that there was, generally, a fire at the core of things, and that change was the only constant, and that we – like everybody else – were both the most important people in the universe, and utterly without significance, depending, and that individuals mattered before their institutions, and that people were people, much the same everywhere, and when they appeared to do things that were stupid or evil, often you hadn’t been told the whole story, but that sometimes people did behave badly, usually because some idea had taken hold of them and given them an excuse to regard other people as expendable (or bad), and that was part of who we were too, as a species, and it wasn’t always possible to know that you were right and they were wrong, but the important thing was to keep trying to find out, and always to face the truth. Because truth mattered. Iain Banks, The Crow Road

[papermonkeyism]

Poking at the dinosaur project thingy, this time with some production technicalities point of view.

Here be musings.

I originally thought of the project as a calendar, then a series of calendars that could be collected into an art book once enough art had been made for it, and at some point I thought of just skipping the calendar part and going straight for art books.

I've been going back and forth between those options multiple times over the years, and it's still kinda open. Like on one hand a simple calendar with just thirteen illustrations (twelve months plus cover) is the easiest and cheapest option, though pretty limited (what to do once the year presented in the calendar ends, and you still got unsold leftover stock?), and the other hand art books are big projects requiring lots of work, even more money, but be a lasting and very satisfying thing to have.

Maybe I should take a middle road and make a zine instead?

Maybe.

Though, this is where the shape of the actual project comes in.

I've always planned the project as having a slice of life style format, with little story and more focus in exploring the setting. Kinda just looking in and enjoying the view while you go. But I've noticed that keeping the "narration" as illustrations kinda keeps the immersion at arm's length too. While that is fine and dandy for a calendar where the space for any narrative would be very limited anyway, if I was going to do more with the setting, I kinda need something deeper. Even if the audience is fine just looking at pretty pictures, with ADHD it would be better to have something deeper to help keep me personally invested enough to actually plan, plot and produce the materials needed.

Should I make an actual story, with plot and stuff? Feels kinda unnecessary for a thing focusing on just illustrations, and I don't know if I really "click" with a text heavy picture book format. I kinda feel it would make comic as the best option, though that has its own downsides. I've always wanted to do full colour paintings of the dinosaurs, yet going comic it would have to simplify a lot and make it grayscale just to keep me sane. And, as someone who has done well over 250 pages of a long form comic, that's still a HUGE commitment I don't think I have the resources - mental, physical nor financial - to pull off.

I also kinda feel having a plot story would sort of detract from the "exploring the world" aspect and put more heavy focus on characters, which. Well, it's not *bad* exactly, just not quite what I want.

(Also I am aware the dinosaur clan I have has a kid character, and I don't want to make her the point of view character for the story. I have no interest doing a childrens' book. I mean, I am perfectly fine if kids do eventually end up liking my stuff, but I don't consider them my target audience. My target audience is me, an adult person in their later 30s, and a handful of nerds I consider friends and/or mutuals.)

Another option I've been toying with is kind of a double edged sword.

Those who got the Almost Real speculative evolution zine volume 5 got a bit of a taste of this, as I kinda tried it out there.

So... I've gone to pretty great lengths as a layperson to work in the setting of the project thingy. It's always bothered me when dinosaurs get just dumped into a story with no regards to when and where they actually lived, making for an anachronistic hodgepodge of what's popular forming into a mismatched fantasy setting, usually with throwing humans into the mix. I don't like that. I'm more interested in seeing the actual animals as they were, when they were and where they were, where the focus is in the dinosaurs themselves. Thus the limit to Two Medicine formation (with some of the surrounding areas included too, though still keeping to the same time period).

I do not want humans in my dinosaur stories. Period.

But what if...

So, imagine a research journal. There's a scientist visiting the clan of Singing People the project focuses on, with the mission of studying them, their life and their world. The book or zine or whatever could be a story of the dinosaur clan introducing themselves and their life to this person. An outsider point of view to excuse learning about them by them teaching this POV person how their world works. There could be some interaction and maybe interviews, and of course illustrations because you need to document your subjects after all.

Like, I'm kinda excited about the idea. It would let me get into the details I want to picture without getting too into the heads of the characters to limit the chances of artistic exploration. You gotta document the surroundings your study subjects live in after all! But you'd still get to know the characters because it's the job of the POV person to learn about them. Win win!

It's just that I don't want to put too much attention on this hypothetical scientist. Like I said before I don't want to mix my settings. The dinosaur project thingy's world IS Laramidia in the Campanian period of late Cretaceous, it's not meant to be a scifi setting, nor do I want to have any focus on any time travel.

Wonder if it would be possible to leave the scientist character vague enough to never actually get explained? They're just nameless outsider from undetermined time and place who's interviewing some dinosaurs. Maybe with some peronal opinions or musings but no anecdotes about their own life or themself. And whenever there's interactions between the scientist and any of the Singing People it just gets handwaved away. (Of course the Singing People are curious about them too, but that's not the point of the study so it just doesn't get documented or something?)

I don't know. Could that work?

[dragonfly0808]

Aisha: The Thesis

I don’t know if I have to keep saying this but SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING REWRITE UP TIL THE CURRENT CHAPTER (S4 CH 14)

First Things First

The very first words on Aisha’s character sheet are: Sporty, socially awkward dancer

I feel like it’s a bit difficult to explain my thought process when it comes to Aisha. I think most of us can agree she was def the most interesting and most fleshed out in the OG, from her badass intro to her backstory and storyline in s2, she was a young girl who ran from home to avoid being isolated and was loyal to the point of risking her life to save her pixie friends.

Something that was very important to me was showcasing Aisha as being socially awkward and having a hard time believing people like her due to her trauma, years of isolation and never really having friends her own age. Her main relations up til this point have been with Nabu (who she stopped seeing when she was about eight and never really knew), Anne (who she fell for but abruptly stopped seeing when she was twelve) and the pixies (who aren’t human and therefore can’t really give Aisha the experience of having very relatable friends)

Due to all this, an important focus for me in s2 was showing Aisha as feeling like an outsider, she’s not only new to an already very clearly established group who already fought a war together, but she doesn’t really know how to become part of the group and isn’t always sure whether she’s intruding or not.

I tried to show how her integration to the group is kinda slow, giving her a pre-established friendship with Helia so the two could bond over being the new kids and having her first bonds be with Flora and Brandon.

She doesn’t really feel like a part of the group until the girls’ make a mock welcome-to-the-Winx ceremony that they don’t realize is so very important to Aisha because she’s never been part of a group like this before.

^ All of that makes for someone who is incredibly loyal to her friends, everyone in the Winx is very loyal but for Aisha specifically it goes even deeper in the sense that, these aren’t just her best friends, they’re her first friends, the first people that ever made her feel accepted and safe and didn’t vanish on her.

Imposter Syndrome say What?

Imposter Syndrome is a real thing and Aisha suffers real badly because of it. This is smth I’m exploring in her arc during S4: Generation Why (Talk About How Fast We Grew). This affects her in 2 main ways-

She feels like she isn’t a real part of the squad after the confrontation with the Ancestral Witches back in s3 finale (I’ll talk a bit more about that in a moment)

She feels like she won’t be a good queen and often compares herself to Stella and Sky who’ve gotten more experience in that aspect. Aisha can feel suffocated by the thought of some day becoming the queen of Andros, even if she loves her planet, being ruler seems like smth that would take away most of her freedom, which is pretty much her biggest nightmare.

Now, I’ll take a moment here to say that I feel like I haven’t given Aisha the attention that she deserves due to s2 being when she’s introduced and s3 having so much PLOT going on that the character arcs got slightly lost for most of the squad. In S4 I want to redeem this cause my girl deserves some more focus. I will say that the Generation Why arc won’t be the beginning and end of Aisha’s evolution in s4, though it will have a pretty big impact on how she views certain things.

If I’m All I Have, That’s Enough

One of my fave moments in the entire rewrite, is Aisha’s fight against fake-Anne (the Ancestral Witches) where, as the Witches try to convince Aisha that the squad doesn’t truly care for her and only friends with her out of pity, Aisha makes it very clear that, even if that were true, she’d still fight for herself. Because she knows she’s someone who deserves to be fought for and protected.

But even if no one missed her… Aisha would not give up on herself.

She had been alone most of her life, which meant she’d had to take care of herself. And she wasn’t done doing that.

Maybe she still wasn’t all that comfortable in her own skin. Maybe she was still figuring out who she was and what she wanted. Maybe she still doubted herself and the way others viewed her sometimes.

…but that was okay.

She didn’t need to have everything figured out to know that she wanted to live. 

If not to see her friends again… then just for herself.

Because she wanted to meet the person she would become someday.

Because the twelve-year old Aisha she’d once been had deserved to be protected. Just as her future and present self deserved that too.

So if no one was there to save her… then she’d save herself… for herself.

I really wanted to send a message that, while a lot of media will give someone with low self esteem some other motivation to fight for themselves, I really wanted to have Aisha fight for herself, to see that, if no one would fight for herself, she herself would still do it.

It’s a bit hard to phrase but I do think it’s been one of the most beautiful moments in the whole rewrite and while yes, Aisha still doubts herself and her place in the group, she doesn’t doubt that she wants to keep going and that she will fight for who she was, who she is and who she will someday become.

This kinda manifests in her finally standing her ground against her mom and making her see that all the shit she put her through in her childhood was wrong and only affected her in a negative way. It also manifests in her immediately feeling like she was exaggerating (pesky intrusive thoughts) and having to be pulled out of spiraling by Nabu.

I’m really excited to finally give her a bit more attention in s4, beyond just the current arc.

You Can’t Spell Lonesome Without Me

I feel like I’m bouncing all over the place with this thesis but just bare with me please.

Aisha’s main trait as a character is loneliness. She’s been isolated most of her life and, thanks to intrusive thoughts and imposter syndrome, her brain will make her feel alone and like she isn’t a real part of the group, which of course leads her to sometimes be lonely even when she’s with the other girls.

Because you don’t heal from that shit in just one year.

I really wanted this for Aisha cause it’s smth I myself struggle with due to some… really bitchy behavior from certain ‘friends’ in middle school, to this day it will take me 6 months to truly believe someone likes me and isn’t annoyed at spending time with me. I’m in college and middle school still haunts me, so I think it’s only realistic for Aisha to not instantly heal from what was probably an even worse situation.

Her loneliness is one of your brain constantly sabotaging you even when you’re happy with the friend group you currently have.

Thoughts Behind her Main Relationships

Flora: They are best friends, and their friendship is one of softness and comfort. They’ve both dealt with extreme loneliness and have both felt like not-quite-part-of-the-group at some point or another even if it’s for different reasons.

They have a perfect introvert/extrovert balance and are the best at bringing the other out of their respective comfort zones without making it feel forced or pushy.

Their friendship is midnight tea and sitting on balconies looking at the stars and dancing on the beach and cuddling after nightmares and doing each other’s hair and helping each other forget the pain and remember why they love life.

I feel like their friendship can be hard to explain because their friendship is one of quiet moments, of comfort and softness and the little things. It’s the flowers in Aisha’s sweaters and the seashells on Flora’s necklaces. It’s the comfortable silence and the random dance parties.

Nabu: Something I really wanted to do with this relationship was have Nabu kinda help Aisha heal her inner child. When he reveals his identity, they’re playing on a see-saw, they talk while sitting on swings, they run around the beach kicking water up at each other.

Nabu lets her act like a kid, something Aisha never really got to do thanks to her mom. He lets her feel like she can be childish and embarrassing cause she knows he won’t make her feel bad for it. They feel safe around the other, enough to act however they want to.

Another big thing in their relationship was trust and open communication, their situation is slightly awkward due to having an arranged marriage in their future, Aisha questions both their feelings, if they truly fell for each other or if they were just taking the convenient way out. Nabu is very clear that that isn’t the case and that’s what allows their relationship to flourish.

Going to Nabu is really one of the first times Aisha allows herself to go after something she truly wants, contributing to her coming into her own person.

Brandon: So, I would say Brandon might be Aisha’s first deep connection in the squad along with Flora. Brandon kinda sees right through Aisha and her self-doubt and he’s the one that really helps her start coming out of her shell.

The two are massive extroverts and love any and all outdoors activities, and they bond massively over this, constantly going for hikes, skateboarding or trying out new things.

And yes… Aisha does have a bit of a crush on Brandon at first, due to him kinda being the first guy she connects with in her teenage years, and him being… well… Brandon. While she never makes advances or even thinks about it (cause she would never do that to Stella) this does make her feel like an actual teenager, since she never really got the experience of having a silly little teenage crush.

The two are very close and, since both are very touchy people, it does contribute to the crush. Once the crush phase passes, Aisha sees him as a platonic soulmate, the two have a lot in common but wouldn’t ever really work as a couple cause they have too much in common. They are very supportive of one another and just really get one another.

Who is Aisha in this Rewrite?

Aisha is a young woman learning to be comfortable in her skin and to live and fight for herself.

She’s an incredibly loyal friend who struggles with imposter syndrome and intrusive thoughts. She’s working through that and trying to stop feeling like an outsider.

Aisha is someone who spent most of her life in isolation and wishing to run away, to be free. She’s someone who’s learning and embracing a new meaning of freedom and who is trying to come into her own in a way she can be proud of and that won’t restrict her freedom or make her go back to the lonely girl she once was.

Aisha is someone who, even at her darkest times, will fight for herself.

————

Masterlist

Aisha Moodboard

Aisha’s Instagram

Flora and Aisha Moodboard

Aisha and Nabu Moodboard

Aisha and Brandon Moodboard

[panncakes]

from a novel reader before show, i hope that the show does a better job at explaining sun's backstory and limitations than the book did. while we did get sun's perspective, it was a lot more to do with her direct relationship with ongsa/earth (which like duh its the point of the book) but the only flaws that we learned that sun does is that she is irrational and jealous but its sorta played off in a cute way instead. hell we didn't even know that sun had a brother until the last chapter - i mean he was completely erased from the show that's how insignificant he is. we get this line in the book along the lines of "i also have my flaws" but like we never learn about them. so i'm hoping the show does a better job at emphasizing that cuz now sun is shown as this perfect character which makes sense becuase we are getting ongsa's POV and in her eyes sun is perfect but i just want a deeper dive into her character. comes back to the point that some people were making that sun doesn't feel like a main character in her own show, we don't even know which of her friends is which tbh.

i honestly don't really think sun is a main character on the same level of ongsa tbh (or she hasn't been; pov shift could still happen). she is the main love interest for sure but this is very obviously ongsa's story and i think that's been pretty obvious and i also think that's absolutely fine. often gmmtv is a little better at having one main character and one love interest than balancing two main characters in my opinion (or at least in romcoms).

that being said i do hope very loudly alongside of you we get a bit more of sun's personality once all the pretense drops and as ongsa gets to know sun more and more. we know she is feisty and naive and a little bit stuck in her popular girl bubble so there's some foundation to explore flaws and i really hope we get to.

i think there's a real opportunity to shift into sun's pov once she finds out ongsa is earth and focus on how sun deals with it rather than focus on ongsa (perhaps get a little more insight on why she's so willing to trust a faceless stranger on the internet) so i hope they go down that road! i also hope we get to see her feisty and reckless a little more; focus on the aspects of her character that aren't just sweet and nice

[trappedinafantasy37]

As many of you know, I am currently working through a Shadowheart origin run with Minthara as my only companion. I recently just wrapped up Act I and I just kinda wanted to write about the story so far, cause ya'll know I like telling stories.

WARNING: this gets pretty long. Again, it's a story. But I did include some pictures! Also, some things are gonna be a little outta character and involve my own head canons as I try to fill in the gaps of what isn't directly said in the game.

PRETEXT

Since I had done the Shadowheart origin twice before, I wasn't so strict with certain RP aspects. So, I reclassed her from the beginning to be a Gloomstalker / War Cleric as at the beginning of the game, spell slots were just a little too expensive for her to be a full cleric and she's not really good in melee once those slots run out. But, the build was still semi lore accurate. I also used 1 hireling through the duration of Act I and was playing on Explorer, more so for gameplay reasons though. Narratively, it was just Shadow by herself and things were kinda tough.

THE BEGINNING

After the Nautiloid had crashed and Shadow woke up on the beach, she remembered the mission that she had been given to her by her Mother Superior. She double checks her pack to be sure that the Prism is still secure, which it is, thankfully. But, she has to get movin and groovin. Her mission was a success! But she lost all her comrades. Right now, she is in a strange land who may not be so friendly to Sharrans. So, the first thing she decides is to keep an eye out for a change of clothes to quickly get rid of her Sharran armor and to find a healer for the worm in her skull.

She stumbles into an ancient crypt where there are a few bandits and robbers. She was able to persuade the ones outside the crypt to leave, but the ones inside the crypt weren't so much in a talkative mood. It was a tough fight for her by herself, but she managed to survive. She continues deeper into the crypt to find an old statue to Jergel. What an interesting place for the memory of this god to be!

She walks into a closed off room where she accidentally awakens the dead. Again, another tough fight, but much easier than fighting the robbers and bandits. At least the dead are allergic to holy magic! Once they are killed off, she enters further and meets an interesting skeleton, Withers! After joining the camp, Shadow immediately talks to him for a respec into a Gloomstalker War Cleric of Shar.

She continues on her journey and comes across a pair of tieflings who have a gith trapped in a cage. She knows this gith. It was the one who helped her on the Nautiloid. She knows the gith would surely be angry for her stealing the Prism from her kin and Shadow cannot risk losing it. She convinces the tieflings that this gith is dangerous and she joins them in killing it. Good riddance!

THE GROVE

She continues forward and comes across another challenging situation. A grove is being attacked by a pack of goblins. She has no idea why this fight is going on, but goblins are goblins. She knows they are a threat. She really wants nothing to do with this situation as it isn't her problem. But, there is no other way forward except to fight, so fight she does.

After killing the goblins, she is promptly invited into the grove in which they direct her to Nettie, a healer. She talks to some of the merchants there and purchases new gear so she can finally be rid of her Sharran armor and hide her identity. Thankfully, no one in this grove recognizes the symbols.

Unfortunately, Nettie was of no help to her and directed her to some goblin camp to find the Archdruid Halsin. Shadow groans on the inside, but she needs a healer. As much as she sympathizes with the plight of the tieflings, she has greater priorities right now and this conflict with the goblins and druids just isn't her concern.

But, Shadow is a bit of a meta gamer and decides that the goblin camp will be the last place she travels to. Instead, she goes everywhere else. While ignoring the goblin camp and the situation in the grove, she has gone on many misadventures where she:

Fought on owlbear

Cleared out the Blighted Village of its goblin infestation

Traveled to the Risen Road

Helped some Zhent traders in a Gnoll attack

Rescued Councellor Florrick and learned of the fate of Grand Duke Ulder Ravengard

Discovered a hidden Zhent basement

Traveled to the Underdark

Helped a colony of sentient mushrooms with a duegar infestation

Killed a bulette

Met the great god BOOOAL

Killed a Spectator

Traveled to Grymforge

Freed Nere and took his head

Killed some duegar slavers and freed some gnome slaves

Fought Grym

Killed a Phase Spider Queen

Defeated Ethel

Killed Wood Woad and learned of the Shadow Druids

Confronted Kagha, but she would not back down so Shadow had to kill her and the hostile druids.

Girl has managed to do quite a bit by herself. By now, she is confident that no one around recognizes the symbols of Shar, despite those symbols being literally everywhere in the region for some unknown reason. So, she decides to wear an upgraded version of her armor that she found in Grymforge as it provides better protection for her.

With nothing left to do, it is now time to enter into the goblin camp.

THE GROVE RAID

At some point, she returns back to free Sazza cause she's just tired of fighting and wants an easy way into the camp. She sneaks the goblin out of the grove in which she is safely escorted into the goblin camp. She walks in saying to herself that she is only interested in a healer and Halsin is her priority. As much as she would want to help the tieflings, she is not getting involved in this conflict! That is, until she met Nightwarden Minthara.

Unfortunately, Sazza spilled the beans and told Minthara where the grove was and now the drow wants to recruit Shadow into joining. Of course Shadow has her reservations. They were innocent tieflings and Minthara means to kill them all. But, from Shadow's standpoint, everything was stacked against her. She did not want to play any part in killing the tieflings and was tempted to warn them that Minthara was coming. But Minthara had an army, was backed by a very powerful god who seems to have the ability of mind control, may potentially provide some insight into the worm situation, and well, the dream guardian told Shadow to infiltrate the cult. She also grew increasingly anxious over Minthara's intense desire to retrieve the Prism, the very thing keeping Shadow safe from the Absolute, turning into a mind flayer, and is the one thing she was tasked with returning to Baldur's Gate. She could not risk Minthara taking the Prism from her.

Being trained in the art of espionage, Shadow teams up with Minthara to get a ticket into the cult, especially since Shadow alone couldn't possibly fight against Minthara's goblin warband and she did not have the confidence that the tieflings could either. Not to mention, Shadow can easily evade Minthara's inquisition about the Prism if Shadow presented herself as an ally. At this point, she has abandoned her search into Halsin as it is clear he is Minthara's enemy due to him being Archdruid of the grove and Shadow needs Minthara to think they are on the same side.

Rolling open the gates at the grove made Shadow feel ill to her stomach. But, she knows that this is something her Dark Lady would have wanted. Either way, the tieflings were going to die by Minthara's hand, that was a guarantee. Better to help Minthara and guide the tieflings into embracing their inevitable deaths than to be amongst one of Minthara's casualties where no one would remember her.

After the raid, Shadow just felt horrible and awful. For a brief moment, her indoctrination breaks and the real her slips out. The tieflings were innocent and didn't deserve this. She could have helped, she should have helped. But Minthara reassures her that she is on the right path and she is loved by god Herself. Minthara may have been talking about the Absolute, but Shadow knows Shar approves of her actions today. But the guilt just wouldn't leave and continues to gnaw at her conscious.

Feeling pretty damn horny excited after the raid and the glory to come, Minthara pulls Shadow into the the chapel to celebrate the festivities together. Shadow is more than willing as she'd rather fuck the feelings away or she'd otherwise drink them away. And Minthara certainly helps Shadow by having her feel a wide array of things that aren't guilt. Such as [REDACTED] where Minthara [REDACTED] and then she did this thing with her tongue and [REDACTED]. At some point during the activities, Minthara realizes Shadow's face is very soft and would make an excellent chair, and so she [REDACTED].

Afterwards, the two have a little heart to heart and Shadow sees a side to Minthara that she didn't expect to see. Up until now, she saw Minthara as a monster, some "genocidal lunatic" who probably should have been knocked out in the goblin camp. But, right now, she sees someone who seems genuinely pensive, doubtful, and very much unsure of herself. And, well, who was Shadow to judge. She stood right next to Minthara, participating in the death of the tieflings. If Minthara was a monster, then so was she.

In the middle of the night, Shadow is awakened in her sleep by an overwhelming sensation of an impending murder! She looks up to see Minthara standing above her, ready to kill her. But Minthara gets a little shy and backs away. She explains her doubts and her fears to Shadow and why she perceives her to be a threat to the Absolute. Right now, Minthara is desperate to believe that her perception of Shadow is false. It really does not take too much for Shadow to clear her of any doubts.

Feeling that she is worthy of the Absolute's embrace, Minthara gives Shadow her lyre and a path to Moonrise and the two split up to meet again later. And Minthara sure does hope that she sees Shadow again. After everything that the two just did together in that chapel? Yeah, the half-elf better fucking come back to her. Minthara has plans!

Thanks for reading my story! Currently working through Act 2 right now. Will update the story once I completely finish with the act, but I will post my little mini updates from time to time.

| Act 2>

[almuredondo]

WOLFWALKERS - Concept Art and Color Script Worked with directors Tomm More and Ross Stewart as Scene Illustration Artist, Location Designer, Color Script Artist and Background Painter for their feature film "Wolfwalkers" from the 5 times Oscar's Academy nominated studio Cartoon Saloon. ------ Some years ago I packed my brushes and headed to the green rolling hills of Ireland to join an incredible team of people to work in this precious gem. At first I joined the Scene Illustration, o Concept team, where I helped define the look of the forest and design the locations inside of it, as well as help define the style, and traditional pencil and watercolor technique with the team lead by Tomm and Ross. Later in production I designed Sequence Colour Scripts and Key Colour Backgrounds to establish the look and the methodology for the Background Colour Team. Here you can see a selection of some of the concepts I developed. ------ ROBYN RUNNING - Inspired by the Dark Hedges from a trip to the north of Ireland, we were still trying to define the look of the forest, the graphic light and autumny colors while keeping the green wet feeling of Ireland. (which proved to be a challenge for all of us!) We were also exploring the characters in action and how to strike a graphic look moving in 3d space and this pose helped with that. I just loved drawing Robyn, inspired by the character poses of Sandra and the character team concepts. ------ WATERFALL. Helping define the look of the waterfall was one of my favourite things in the film. Working with Maria and Ross from a physical maquette Ross had built, we dove to define the looser, wilder and more organic section of the film, the Wolfwalkers waterfall den, where watercolors are at their rawest and washes of color blend. Was a very iterative process where I let the watercolor do what it wanted, blending colors and shapes in beautiful ways that I would later on use on the final image. In this concept I also explored the characters and proposed the final wolf look for Robyn which made it into the film, as before she had a slightly different look. The whole film was a greatly collaborative effort where we were all exploring and proposing ideas! ------ LOCATION DESIGN RAVINE - First sketches I did when I joined the Wolfwalkers concept team, or scene illustration. I set out to explore the forest as Robyn gets deeper into it. Her feelings and the scenery change and develop as we go further from the farmlands forest tamed by humans. I was trying to figure out how to make the forest feel older and more secret as you get deeper into it, as the areas untouched by humans were wilder, stronger and purer, with more and more ancient ruins from old wolfwalkers civilizations that had not been seen for centuries! ------ Some tree trunks and branches studies I did to define the lush and magical aspect of the ravine. Inspired by a plein air painting trip to Wistman’s Wood in Dartmoor ------ TRIPTYCH - At this time we were trying to find a graphic light to balance the very simple characters and BGs, with a very simple lighting on them, just enough to tell the story we needed in each shot. This image was conceived as a triptych illustration, established in a great storyboard panel by Iker Maidagan and Ariel Ries , with characters by Tomm More and some help from Ross Stewart. I often used small value studies like these to figure out the lighting structure to tell the story, in this case using the Hitchcock bar of light on them to have the girls “see without being seen”. I also did a concept close up to define the look of the magic ivy wall, exploring the FX look and progression and lighting. ------ LOCATION DESIGN - Nearing production we settled to make some specific location designs for the Ravine, the innermost secret den of the Wolfwalker people. We tried to find landmarks that we could repeat in different scenes to get a feel of the evolution of the story. Ludo Gavillet and I designed maps, did sketches and color roughs and had a blast dreaming camera possibilities to craft the otherworldly and mystical side of these people, inspired by the art of Andy Goldsworthy. (I discovered this artist with the best family name ever thanks to Ross during production, don't miss the documentary about his art and life!). ------ SEQUENCE COLOR SCRIPTS - Later in production, I helped out with some sequence color scripts to flesh out, from the rough color keys from Alice and Lily, the final approach the BGs will have in a specific sequence. ------ All artwork copyright by Cartoon Saloon & Melusine Productions.

[saintsenara]

not the ask’s original sender, but your response re: stonks was so thoughtful and heartwarming, it got me smiling like a fool at some parts! i never considered the ship much, and don’t know if this is controversial but i’m a huge transfem snape enjoyer/truther & your post got me thinking a lot on the potential for queer themes exploration in post-war stonks—for both snape and tonks. i’m always wishing there were more transfem!snape shippy fics and there’s just so much one could do with 1) an snape who survived and, now out of such dire lifelong conditions, finally can have the space for personal self-evaluation of who he is and what he’s accomplished in his personal life, forced to confront his gender identity/expression and sexuality in ways that go beyond what one does behind closed doors, and who can finally set out to investigate and experience who he wants to be after repressing so much of his development for the war effort and self-flagellation; 2) a tonks who’s juggling single parenthood and sexuality and/or gender expression simultaneously in her 20s, and the ways in which they could support e/o even in that department more than any other potential partners. that is to say, you made me realize stonks could go so hard for queer exploration of both characters. (also, snape as teddy’s stepmother vs. godfather harry strikes me as an hilarious follow-up to a stonks rship, from a (platonic) snarry perspective, and there’s a lot of potential here for forgiveness and things coming full circle too, i think. as a snarry girlie i especially love to think about their post-war rekindling esp. platonically and the potential for friendship or even found family there, and teddy being another point of contact would be nice). so... thank you so much for selling me on this ship. i’m fr so into this concept now 👀🕵️‍♀️

ahhh thank you so much, anon! i'm delighted to welcome another person to stonks nation!

and my god yes i am compelled by this whole premise.

i am absolutely obsessed with the insight into snape's relationship with gender we get in canon - especially his association with aspects of gender performance which are often understood as feminine. i love the whole gamut we get to run with this - from snape as a cis man [queer or otherwise] who is figuring out his relationship with his unconventional masculinity, to snape as a trans woman, which is something i am currently writing about.

i am also a queer tonks truther - one of my favourite pieces i've written is about tonks exploring her sexuality and gender identity, and - while the tonks of that piece came to feel that cis and bi were the right terms for her - i like fics which place tonks across the whole, vast spectrum of gender and sexuality. after all, they can literally change bodies on a daily basis - there is so much scope there for the sheer joy of exploring who you are when writing them.

and i think that idea of joy - and of the broader liberation and freedom tonks and snape could experience post-war - is something really valuable. i said in the original stonks manifesto that i like the idea of the two of them initially coming together because of a need to cling to a life-raft in the aftermath of the battle, when they both find themselves adrift and unmoored in a world they didn't expect to live to see, before realising that they have something deeper in common beneath that initial comfort - and i really like that "something deeper" being each of them coming to realise that they finally have the option [and the supportive partner] to sit down and actually think about who they are.

especially because this would allow an author to play with the fact that both snape and tonks would wake up post-battle with the unnerving feeling that the script which was directing their lives is now at an end and that they have no guide on what to do next... i think there's something really revolutionary in saying "fuck it, that chapter's closed" and leaving the snape who was bitten by nagini and the tonks who was attacked by bellatrix - who are understood by harry's narrative perspective as straight and cis [even if that's more ambiguous in canon than harry thinks...] - behind in deathly hallows while the stonks of the post-war world say "yeah, so you guys were mistaken there..."

plus, this would give harry a chance to recognise his own queerness [baby, there's a reason you want to spend so much time talking about how handsome tall, thin, dark-haired men are...], which is always fun. although there's nothing on earth which will stop him and snape beefing constantly over teddy - even if, after a while, this starts to look more good-natured than either is willing to admit.

tonks clocks it though.

[monocle-teacup]

Hi! I am glad that someone is interested in my posts! I think it would be more comfortable to respond to your reblog this way, if you don't mind, of course.

- On the lack of a first name

I agree, this was most likely the original plan, but it seems to me that by the end of the season the authors decided to make a completely black-and-white morality, so they had to dehumanize Meridian, and revealing the name and the emotional scene between him and Alex would not help this new idea. I don't blame it on the need to develop the plot quickly, because literally one or two lines of dialogue would fix it. So it was the authors who probably decided to go this way.

-The circumstances around him losing his arm

I understand this, and what surprises me is that there was not a single flashback or further details about this fateful event in the character's life. For example, at the GHOST base, in addition to working for Croft, he was looking for a cure for himself. The viewer could be shown some kind of screen with X-rays or diagrams in the background, where we could see some additional structures that were added by Arachnamechs. That would be an interesting little detail.

-The deal with him and Croft

Yes! I really like the way Meridian worked at these moments, his emotions and attitude towards Croft are obvious, as is her attitude towards him. My problem is that it looks like a puzzle with about 1/5 of the pieces missing. We understand what kind of picture should be in front of us, but the key point is missing. Meridian has been drafted and is supposed to hate the entire organization, not just Croft, but he's not trying to destroy the GHOST or kill other employees. Croft treats him not just as an employee who needs to be exploited to the last, until there is no replacement, as the head of a large villainous organization would behave. No, she does not feel such a level of inner hostility and does not show it towards other employees, only towards Meridian. I got the impression that there must have been a personal conflict between them, some specific event or series of events that made them hate each other. But here either the authors did not want to delve into this additional plot, or they did not come up with a reason.

I'm always up for chatting about Mandroid and other aspects of ES! It's actually quite nice to be able to actually discuss Mandroid's character deeper since IMO there's a lot to talk about.

The thing that gets me is that in the show's Production Bible, Mandroid's character description outright refers to him as a tragic villain. It's like the writers were afraid to actually explore this concept fully since that would go against the show's obsession with making humans that hate Cybertronians automatically terrible people.

There really needs to be a Battle of the Bay flashback not just for Mandroid, but so many other characters as well. Dot lost her leg in that conflict and it's when Megatron switched sides. But nope, the show was too busy bludgeoning the audience with the whole importance of family thing.

The thing about Mandroid is that from what's been shown he only goes after humans if they interfere with his plans (the Maltos) or in Croft's case, treat him like garbage. I see some fan content where it has him going after random humans when he just wouldn't do that. His main concern is Transformers not people.

I've made a post about this before, but IMO Mandroid and Croft are good foils to each other. If Mandroid is fire then Croft is ice. Croft is a very frigid person in general going by her interactions with Schloder and when she tries to arrest Dot and Alex. As ridiculous as her master plan of conquering Cybertron is, it does fit in nicely with her control freak tendencies. I mean, she has a personal army of mindless robots while Mandroid went out of his way to give the Arachnamechs personality. I have this headcanon where the two just instantly disliked each other upon first meeting.

[jackoshadows]

Rosamund Pike on Moiraine, season 2. (Google Translated from French)

PREMIERE: At the end of season 1, Moiraine loses all of her powers... In what state do we find her? ROSAMUND PIKE: Moraine is no longer the same woman. She is traumatized and lonely, like a wounded animal that pushes away everyone close to her. In this world, being cut off from the One Power for a woman is one of the most painful traumas, equivalent to the loss of a child. You will therefore see how a hitherto incredibly powerful character will attempt to face her enemy without her greatest weapon. What new aspects of his temperament have you discovered? PIKE: She seems much more vulnerable. She feels like she's missing a fundamental part of her identity. And that doesn't happen in the books, it's an exploration by our writers. I was a bit appalled: I liked Moraine for who she was and I didn't want to see her suffer. So it was a challenge, not entirely pleasant, but very interesting. Losing the Unique Power means losing the link with his Champion. How is Moraine and Lan's relationship impacted? PIKE: Their dynamic takes a hit! In this world, the Aes Sedai and their champions are linked psychically but also physically: this link allows them to stay longer without sleep, without food, but above all to feel what the other feels. Suddenly, Moraine and Lan find themselves in a deafening silence, cut off from each other. They never needed to communicate because they always had this intense connection that did it for them. So Moraine starts to establish a distance, she doesn't feel worthy of him, she pushes him away and becomes very cruel. Daniel and I were apart for a lot of Season 2 and we missed working together... Are we going to delve deeper into the mythology of this universe? PIKE: Oh yes, and it's amazing! The first season allowed to establish the rules, and season 2 deepens them. We go further in the exploration of the characters: there is a new enemy of size, the Seanchan, a people who come from the other side of the sea. They enslave the women who can channel magic, and the use as weapons of war. Their aim is to dominate the world: we see them seizing cities, terrorizing the inhabitants. But there are also some very interesting new female characters like Elayne Trakand, a new novice to the White Tower and future Queen of Andor. She meets Egwene, and their personalities collide. Finally, wouldn't the main theme of this series be sisterhood? PIKE: 100%. This is one of the great attractions of The Wheel of Time. And that female power is portrayed in an eclectic way, there's not just one example of what it should look like: in Season 3 that we're shooting right now, there are two incredibly powerful roles played by women from 70 years. And then we celebrate women, but not only! We also play with genres, creating fluid characters. Our casting director is always on the lookout for bright and unusual faces that are unrecognized by the public. I won't be very interesting when you get to season 3 because there are so many exciting new characters! (Laughs.) What can you already tell us about season 3 of The Wheel of Time? PIKE: With the third season, we open the field of possibilities. We're currently doing an episode that's really avant-garde, almost psychedelic. We have the possibility to push things this far thanks to the support of the studio. I think we're making a series that I hope will be watched in 20 years. The goal is not to just reach our time, but to do something timeless.

Very possible they were filming Rhuidean for season 3 before the SAG-AFTRA strike.... One of the best parts of the books IMO, so I hope they do it justice!!

[jacarandaaaas]

Terms of series based on sending asks. For me it's a slice of life with comedy/serious scenes! Set backs & set forwards! Arguments & makeups! We get to know characters deeper but same time silly details. Does have mini plots but NOT some GRAND adventure! Not try to find source of magic. Encanto won't be attacked! No one kidnapped! No tourism!!!!

They do explore outside The Encanto/see how far the gifts go. Culture shock. But the series still is just mainly in The Encanto. Also magic realism is there!!! (Self Indulged Magic Forest + implied folklore!)

I wanna see friends too!!! Dads side of family & episodes focused on the dads lives! Reoccurring characters! Episodes set pre movie. Alma past!

Friendless loser Mirabel who got bullied by everyone around & jumped school gone!!! 😭 I'm sure not everyone is nice because not every kid is but she not alone,,

Let her have a friends group post movie!!!

Also tbh I do want to see other villagers personal struggles. As not only Madrigals going though stuff. Ones who were there when Encanto formed especially. Maybe an episode focused on random ones lives!

Songs!!!! (Not in every episode though!)

2D animation!

Self indulged again...Fish Lady 💯 a teacher in The Encantó for me! She collects fish artifacts now! Not abuse fish rn! She & Bruno just got two sided beef! (Petty Bruno funny,,,) I am NOT delusional!

Mirabel main character but focus not always on her! She has own flaws to work on too as not always correct!

Also theme song is like The Family Madrigal!

THE THEME SONG YESS!!! Family madrigal part 2 I’m so here for that

you are preaching to the choir here (I am the choir) completely agree I’d love to see more about the dads side of family! mirabel with a friend group ahhh yes!!! petty bruno beef I need that!!! yes to giving characters more focus but also keeping mira as main! The villagers could have interesting story potential! The folklore aspect sounds so cool! Since the story is already magical realism I see a lot of potential there

[dearestones]

Muscle Memory Part Four (Azul Ashengrotto and Reader)

Warnings: Exploration of merfolk culture, elaboration on certain aspects of canon lore,mentions of bullying and discrimination,twi etc. 

@lottieinlimbo Request: Hi Devin!!! Congratulations on the 750 followers :D!! Your writing is incredible, you have more than earned your success!!!! I’m here to steal the final request slot! There were a lot of cool prompts that would have been fascinating with multiple characters, it was hard to choose! But I’m thinking “why did you help me?” With Azul could be really fun, maybe something platonic? I’m really excited to see what you do with this, congrats again on 750 followers!!

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The classic mer was holed up in quarantine with security native to the euphotic zone of the Coral Sea keeping watch. Despite how quickly your supervisor discharged him from the program and separated him from all of the groups, you knew that it would take a few days before he could be cleared to go home. It was a matter of bureaucracy: your supervisor, Soren, and yourself had to make sure that all of your bases were covered. No one wanted to risk angering any of the merfolk from any parts of the oceanic zones, especially those who hailed from the deeper, darker parts of the ocean.

Furthermore, all three of you had to contend with the investigation of the matter, particularly where Azul was concerned.

Apparently, the male classic mer had accused Azul of sabotaging or bullying Adria from staying until the end of the course. (That was completely absurd! You may not have personally known Adria, but from the brief experience of teaching her how to tread water and tolerate the pain of transformation, there was more than enough evidence to show that she was not ready for such dramatic changes in lifestyle).  

Testimonies from a variety of merfolk—both from predator and prey—revealed that Azul Ashengrotto mostly spent time by himself and if he wasn't swimming up to the surface by himself or taking down notes in one of the grottos, he was flanked by two eel merfolk. In fact, those very same eel merfolk were adamant in trying to swim and save their friend, risking antagonizing Soren and had ended up getting entangled in their instructor’s restraining enchantments.

Soren would then tell you that upon reviewing all of the merfolk's profiles, the Leech twins and Azul were supposed to attend Night Raven College by the next school year. A coincidence? Perhaps not, they were all schoolmates in the Coral Sea, so it must have been a case of childhood friends (or something close to the fact when you remembered Azul calling friends "associates").

It was a strange thing: predator and prey beastfolk were arguably friendlier than the relationship between predator and prey merfolk, but you paid that no mind. Even the other merfolk noted that Azul was more than fine to be left alone with the Leeches during mealtimes or whenever they were supposed to rest after their sessions.

Further investigation also revealed that the male classic mer had a history of antagonizing predator merfolk in his hometown, which was astonishing since everyone should have been vetted beforehand. It was outrageous and revealed how discriminatory classic mers towards animalistic merfolk, but you knew that it couldn't be helped. Cultural biases and stigma were things that you could neither control nor stop. However, you noted in the margins of your case notes that some of the assembled mers, particularly the angler fish and other predator species, were distinctly uncomfortable and even apprehensive when they talked about the bullying that occurred.

Another thing to note: throughout all of the accounts submitted, it appeared that only the Leech twins were willing to stick up for Azul.

When you asked Soren what his thoughts were regarding the situation, he shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "I know we had to visit a few sites so we could acclimate to the culture and actually interact and interview various species of mer, but it's kinda like trying to gauge the political climate of the beastfolk or even among mostly human populations. It's all nuanced and there are generations of instincts and primal drives that they have to contend with. Although, if I were to dumb down the situation, I guess we could chalk it up to stress, hormones, and prejudice?" He shook his head. "Any luck talking to Azul? The twins told me... some things, but it's better to get word from the victim himself."

"He's not a victim," you couldn't help but say. Somehow, that word rubbed you the wrong way. Azul wasn't a victim. He was... You didn't know how to describe it, but it wasn't as if he was some passive doll that lay there while he had been beaten and bullied.

There was... a hidden kindness and compassion to him. He refused to hit back and even tried to defuse the situation by trying to put some distance between him and the classic mer, even if it cost him some deep scratches upon his arms.

(Gashes, Soren had told you earlier. They were deep enough to be gashes).

"Well, what do you call it when you're bleeding and rendered pretty much mute because one of your classmates bullied you?"

You thought back to Shelley, how she had a hard time making friends after moving so far away from her native homeland, how she fought to get a place in land boot camp, and the shine in her eyes whenever you decided to surprise her with a human made object.

And then you thought of the cecaelia who was currently huddled in his assigned grotto, magical poultices carefully applied onto his octopus arms, chest, and on his face.

"A survivor," you concluded. "If his treatment was so harsh even under the jurisdiction of a government facility, how much worse could it have been when he was a small child in his hometown?"

Your fellow intern's eyes widened as he pondered your train of thought.

"I think... The worst part of it, actually," he murmured, "is that he's still a child."

Later on, after you filed all of the paperwork and helped Soren tuck away the equipment and take in inventory of all the potions needed—you had to send in a request to another department to replace the water breathing potion and to replenish the medkit that Soren used—you decided to forgo going back to your dorm. 

It was late and word had spread like wildfire inside the facility. A few interns around your age sent you sympathetic looks and even a security guard—someone you only knew in passing—had even asked if you were all right. There was also a smattering of whispers of what was going to happen to the classic mer and if there was going to be retaliation from his family or worse, from the merfolk's government, but you were too drained to even think about politics.

Despite what most people thought, other land boot camps had similar rates of infighting among the mers, despite attempts to mediate and segregate threats. It was simply a matter of cultural differences. Most land dwellers were not as desensitized to violence as the majority of merfolk.

But desensitization to violence didn't make it right.

You strolled outside after telling the security guard that you needed some fresh air. 

As an intern at this particular location, you were already well aware of the paths around this tiny island. Some of them led up to a relatively small mountain that some of your more athletic peers would hike on during the weekends. Another one led to the main port where boats from the mainland would drop off potions ingredients, fresh interns, and supplies for the next two weeks. However, despite these options, you decided to head to the boardwalk where you held your sessions. 

Like yesterday, there was algae floating upon the surface. Every time there was a disturbance, they would glow bright blue and illuminate the dark expanse that was the ocean. Sighing with relief that you were no longer surrounded by the rumor mill and the exhausted expressions of your colleagues, you shucked off your shoes and dipped your feet into the water. At your touch, some algae glowed before eventually settling into its dormant state of darkness. 

Above, the moon was waning, but still full enough to look circular and bright in the sky. 

You were tired and somewhat stressed from the day’s events. Now that the adrenaline had run its course, you wanted nothing more than to slump into your bed and sleep the night away. However, the water called to you. It wasn’t that unusual; often, when you were younger, you would sneak outside to bemoan your worries about first crushes, tests, or other mundane anxieties that plagued your adolescence to Shelley. She’d tease you for being so melodramatic and open about your personal life, but she was always there to comfort you or to make you laugh with her own anecdotes. 

However, she was interning at another land boot camp situated near the Land of the Red Dragon. When she had settled, she had said that it was weird to see her homeland (well, a site close to her spawning site) from a land dweller’s perspective. She was a native from the waters bordering the country, but she mostly interacted with the locals who decided to swim or ride boats on the water. Actually walking on land and seeing what surface dwellers were actually like was eye opening. 

She shared a few stories about a few misconceptions that the land dwellers had about merfolk and in turn the both of you ended up laughing before you had to turn in for the night. 

Oh, how you missed her. 

Maybe she was awake at this time?

You were about to stretch and head back to your dorm, eager to boot up your laptop so you could properly have a video chat, when the water began to burst to life with bioluminescent brilliance. Was there a school of fish traveling underneath your feet? The tide was high, but it was strange to see fish swim so close to the shore…  

And that’s when you realized that it wasn’t a school of fish, but rather one big fish!

A big fish that had eight long appendages attached to a human torso.

A very familiar sight indeed. 

When Azul breached the surface, you were pleased to see that he still had his poultices applied to his face and on his chest. You had yet to check his octopus arms, but you hoped that he kept them on considering those were the areas that had the deepest cuts and were at the most risk of infection. 

“Good evening, Azul,” you greeted. Absent-mindedly, you allowed your feet to gently kick at the water, your continuous movement disturbing the algae so that you could somewhat see Azul with the faint, but beautiful light. “If I had known that you wanted a private tutoring session, you could have asked. Although, under the circumstances, I think it’s more appropriate for you to rest.” 

You kept your tone light and airy, but after seeing Azul regard you with a suspicious, if contemplative look, you sobered. 

“Will I be able to attend tomorrow’s session?”

You thought maybe that wasn’t the question he was going to ask, but you answered anyway. “During your morning lecture, we’ll have one of our medics look at you, but I doubt there will be too much trouble unless you find yourself unable to participate otherwise.” 

The young cecaelia looked affronted that you suggested such a possibility to him. 

Underneath the water, you could just barely make out his arms crossing tightly over his chest. It made you want to smile—he was still very much a child in many respects—but you were glad for it. Unlike the Azul you had seen bleeding out underneath the water, this one was ready to bite back. 

“But I suppose that’s not the only reason why you’re here, isn’t it?” 

He hesitated a moment, but still answered with conviction. “No, it’s not.”

Again, you were not a teacher or a guidance counselor. You were a physical therapist who was only meant to make sure that merfolk were able to coordinate and move their legs accurately and safely so that they could enjoy life on land. You wouldn’t call yourself socially inept, but you felt a little out of your depth at the silence that ensued. 

Should you push him a little to get whatever burden that was weighing him down off his chest?

Or was it better for you to wait it out?

The cecaelia looked like the sort of person who would get down to business at his earliest convenience, so you decided to let him take the lead. It felt nice, actually, to revel in the cool water while a small breeze caressed your skin. After a while, you felt a sleepy haze overtake your senses as your legs ceased kicking the water and your eyes drift shut. 

Despite the fact that you were upright and at risk for falling face forward into the ocean, you remained calm and content. 

You wouldn’t blame Azul if he left now. 

It was so soothing to bask in the moonlight. 

All too soon, though, when you were so lost in your thoughts, the young cecaelia spoke. As always, his voice was low and measured, thought out and precise. Yet, you could detect an undertone of frustration and maybe even some embarrassment. 

“Why did you help me?”

It took a moment to gather your senses, but once you did, you found Azul’s eyes glinting in the moonlight. They were predatory eyes locked on you, calculating and intelligent. 

(You had to remind yourself again, he was still a child).

“It’s my responsibility to look after my students under my care. During my orientation a few months back, we had to go through several workshops where we had to roleplay and practice several situations that may occur in our line of work. One of those roleplay sessions included cases of bullying and infighting.” 

You remembered one of those sessions clearly. 

Some of the interns at this facility were actually merfolk and they had volunteered to shed their human skin for their fins and tails. It was a relatively short exercise, and they were clearly pulling their punches, but it shocked you to see how fast they could move under water. How they seem to be ruled by instincts that most humans forgot, but most beastman and fae embraced in privacy. 

One wrong move, you realized, and even the docile classic mers could easily take you in a fight. 

The protocol was simple. Incapacitate and separate. 

If an instructor was magicless, they were supposed to alert the attention of those who were. 

But most of all, timing was of the essence. 

You acted quickly as you could, but as you surveyed the cecaelia who kept most of his torso and lower body underwater, you wondered if you could have been faster. How long did you hesitate when you realized just how brutal young classical mers could be? How much precious time did Azul have to endure thinking that no one would help him?

You shook your head. 

It was no use thinking about it.

“No, not that sort of help.” Your eyes had become somewhat adjusted to your dim surroundings, but you still had to squint to see your student still floating in the water looking straight up at you. As a question was about to spill from your lips, Azul smoothly cut in, confidence now apparent in his very being. "You didn't hesitate to get him off me. Later, after that debacle—" His voice hitched, his delivery broken, but you knew better than to say something. "—I heard you talking to security and the other instructors. You... you believed me, defended me even. W-why?"

Dark as the night may have been, you could clearly hear how he tried to regulate his voice. There was a sort of raspy scratchiness to the timbre, as if he were trying his hardest not to break down crying. Furthermore, when you happened to catch his eyes, he averted his gaze and ducked below the surface of the water.

At first, you had thought that he had gone, but a brief disturbance from below illuminated the algae. The bioluminescent glow revealed that the cecaelia was still with you, only that he had chosen to submerge himself. That's right, you couldn't help but remember. A lot of merfolk from the deeper oceanic zones were usually shy and preferred the dark.

To afford him some privacy, you averted your gaze away from the water and instead directed it to your lap.

Sound always traveled faster and louder underwater, so you knew that even if you didn't shout your words, he could still hear you.

"You know... I have a great friend, Shelley. We grew up together after she moved from the Land of the Red Dragon. She's shy and suspicious of strangers—like you—" You couldn't help but admit through a chuckle. "—but she was also loyal, dependable, and very creative. She was always self-conscious about her family history and who she was, but I always loved her, because to me, she was simply my best friend.”

You quieted for a moment and finally revealed the truth.

"She was also the first mer who I helped walk on land. Without the transformation potion." Underneath, you could practically see the cogs turning in Azul's head with the way his body perked up in curiosity. You could practically hear him ask in scandalized curiosity how that was even possible. "Not in the way you think. She's a cecaelia, just like you, actually. Late at night, I would sneak out of the house and I would help her crawl around the beach. I was her spotter, but it's not like I was much help at that age. I would keep a bucket filled with seawater with me to splash her if she felt too dried out, but for the most part, she wanted to explore and push herself to her limits—see how far she could last without going back to the ocean.

"It was no surprise when her persistence eventually paid off. She got herself into a local boot camp and I was so very proud of her."

You paused, letting the memories of her laughter and strong arms (all ten of them) squeezing you gently and with as much affection as she could muster.

"I don't think I ever grasped how different and deadly cultural divides between mer species were. Up on land, it's a bit more apparent among the different types of beastfolk and the fae. Even humans are also prone to discrimination and prejudice. But with Shelley? I loved her so much and I hadn't thought what it must have been like to be a cecaelia in a world where merfolk with animal counterparts were considered lower than classic mers."

Your fingers squeezed the wood of the boardwalk, the splinters digging into your skin.

"The first night after her land boot camp, she swam all the way over to my home island and cried in my arms. The transformation potion had caused her so much pain, even greater than the times sand would get stuck between her suckers or when the irritation of the beach grated against her skin. What was worse, most of the merfolk who attended that particular land boot camp were all classic mers who were from the euphotic zone." You bit out a harsh laugh. "Talk about a fish out of water, huh? When the instructors were out of reach, they judged her for her long arms and how it took longer than most for her to get a grasp on her limbs. They whispered insults and bullied her relentlessly. The instructors must have not suspected a thing or they ignored her because Shelley would continue visiting me every night of her land boot camp experience and every time..." Your hands tightened their grip on your uniform. "Every time she looked so heartbroken and she was so close to quitting."

You hadn't realized it at first, but then you became all too aware of the trail of tears that ran down your eyes and onto your cheeks. Hastily, you wiped the evidence away with the back of your hands, sniffing a little to try and calm yourself.

"So, I helped her. We would work on the exercises to strengthen her lower body and she bribed one of the instructors for extra doses of low grade transformation potion. We would practice together for hours until the early morning. I can't imagine how tired she must have been because she had to swim back to the land boot camp, but it was worth it in the end." You sniffled again, pride in your voice. "She graduated with flying colors and attended university with me as an anthropology major. She's not stationed here, but at another land boot camp, but she's having the time of her life."

A pause.

However, it wasn't exactly filled with silence.

Over the course of your tale, you had staunchly kept your head bowed and your eyes closed to sink deep into your memories. Despite that, you knew that Azul had begun to show himself above water if the flickering of the algae behind your eyelids was any indication. It wasn't until you felt a stray octopus arm brush against one of your legs—an accidental touch if the sudden jerk away from the contact was evidence enough—were you finally face to face with the young cecaelia.

Up close now, you saw that his cheeks were stained with ink and that his eyes were rimmed with a faint blue flush.

An instinct you fought to quell from rising out of its slumber threatened to make itself known: you wanted to pet his hair and wipe away his tears. (You had often done this for Shelley and the feeling became all the more apparent because of your recent perusal of childhood memories).

What was that called again?

Muscle memory?

Your hand twitched, but you only let your hands splay out on your lap to relieve tension.

“Did you help me because I remind you of a childhood friend? Out of pity?” He tried so hard to sound calm, but you could hear the anger at the perceived slight. 

It didn’t matter, you had foreseen this happening. 

You smiled sadly and murmured, “No, I helped you because I know that there are multiple issues regarding accessibility. Between the transformation potions that cause you guys so much pain to the inherent discrimination and segregation among merfolk, and of course, the potentially harmful misconceptions that land dwellers have about you guys… I just want to make a difference and make it easier for people like you to fulfill your dreams in a safe and encouraging environment. I can’t do much outside of this facility, at least not yet, but I want to do my part to make sure that every student who passes under my care gets to live the life that they’ve always wanted. Adria may not have been ready to become human yet, but at least she knows now the sacrifices that must be made and the hurdles that have to be crossed. And as for the other mer who bullied you,” you settled a heavy gaze at him, silently making him promise not to spread rumors, “he has been blacklisted from the program. He could try again in a couple years, but he will be put on probation first.

"So, to answer your question, I helped you because I want to do good for the sake of doing good." You placed a comforting, gentle hand upon his shoulder—the only point of contact you could make without risk of getting reprimanded. "And because it is part of my nature to help others; call it muscle memory or a reflex if you will."

Azul gazed at you for a long time after that, his bright blue eyes unmistakably wet and gleaming with an emotion that you could not pinpoint. You added just a little bit of pressure upon his shoulder before you let him go. At the loss of contact, the cecaelia drifted away from you—a clear sign that it was time for you to leave as well—but before he ducked below the surface, he had one last thing to share. 

“I won’t forget this,” he said resolutely. There it was again, the confidence of someone he was still growing into. A young man who was going to be successful and powerful—no matter what it took. “I promise, I won’t.”

And, just like that, the cecaelia was gone. 

You weren’t sure what he was promising exactly, but you had the inkling that if the both of you were to meet in the future after land boot camp, he would be in favor of helping you with your cause.

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Tagging: @missam

[PART ONE] [PART TWO] [PART THREE] [PART FOUR HERE]

If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

TWISTED WONDERLAND MASTERLIST

[readnburied]

Book Review: Rouge by Mona Awad

Date of Publishing: September 12th, 2023

Author: Mona Awad

Publisher: S&S/Marysue Rucci Books

Genre: Horror Literary Fiction, Gothic

This is a standalone novel and follows the story of Mirabelle (Belle) who sees beauty in every person except herself. Growing up as the daughter of a beautiful woman, Belle does whatever she can to make herself look beautiful, even sign up for a salon named Rouge which her Mother kept mentioning before she died. However, Rouge is not what it appears to be and Belle soon realizes that the price of beauty is sometimes to steep to pay. 

I’m obsessed with Mona Awad’s books and her writing style. I don’t know how she comes up with such unique concepts and able to weave such an intriguing narrative but this is one seriously talented author and I strive to be as good as her. I. AM. NOT. JOKING. 

The plot line that mixes the beauty standards of today’s day and age with fairytales was quick to suck me in and I really enjoyed reading about the vast number of beauty products that Belle uses in an attempt to appear beautiful to the world. 

Moreover, the mystery surrounding her Mother’s death was an entire roller-coaster and I have to say the lady in red who appears at her Mother’s funeral was one of my favorite characters in the book; the male counter part being the other, but this author really told the world that the beauty standards now are fairly dangerous and crippling. I could sense some kind of sub text in the form of criticism about how expensive beauty treatments are these days and not everyone can afford them despite having the right to be beautiful. I’m not sure if the author intended it but that’s what I got from reading the book. 

The characters were strange and mysterious as the rest of the story. Like they had a back story but as a reader I was left wondering exactly what the back story was. Belle’s mother clearly had a lot of relationships which were explored in the novel, but there were some characters I’m still wondering about; especially a dark and brooding detective who had a penchant for disguise. Though his story was explored as well, I would’ve liked to have gotten to know him a little deeper. 

Mona Awad has done a fantastic job by adding a touch of creepiness in the form of the mannequins. I never imagined mannequins to be as interesting as she portrayed them. But now every time I’d look at a mannequin I wouldn’t just think of it as a figure of plaster but something more. Something that could be more. 

The psychological aspect woven through the entire story was downright genius and that’s what gave the story the depth it possessed. From the obsession with mirrors and beauty to the mannequins that talked and breathed as if they were real, it was intense and it was thrilling. 

And the best part was the jellyfish. I am obsessed with jellyfish and the author putting the spotlight on such beautiful, mysterious creatures stole my heart. The jellyfish taking center stage really made me fall in love with the story and I really wish I could keep a jellyfish as a pet. Furthermore, the jellyfish being a symbol for one’s memories and soul just shows how malleable and fluid a person’s thoughts can be. I also think the author kind of hinted at a future where it’d be easy for people to get rid of unhappy or traumatic memories as that kind of technology is being invented as I write this. But then the question arises, what are we without our memories? Just a bunch of mannequins—wearing identical expressions and having no opinion of our own. So this story really does leave the reader with plenty of food for thought because one really ask themselves whether they really want to get rid of the painful memories. 

The entire tone of the story is dark and mysterious. Since the start of the story I was filled with questions and read the entire book just to seek the answers. The focus on mirrors was an intriguing aspect to the story just like the jellyfish. And the man in the mirror does seem like the negative voice inside everyone’s head which tells them they’re not good enough and need to work harder to look beautiful. 

Beauty, though makes the world more appealing can be incredibly lethal if it’s forced.

All in all, this book is a must read for everyone and I’m looking forward to Mona Awad’s upcoming books—whenever that maybe. I’m only left with one book by this author which I have yet to read and rest assured I’ll be doing that as soon as I get the chance. But I highly recommend this book to everyone and I urge you all to give this book a chance as soon as possible.  

[ecargmura]

Pokemon Horizons Episode 33 Review - Amethio VS Rayquaza

Silly Amethio, do you really think you have the power to defeat a legendary? He got WIPED by Rayquaza and it was a bit humiliating. Though, I do wonder why Rayquaza showed up. It seemed like he wasn’t as chummy towards Terapagos as the other Heroes were. Does it not like Terapagos?

I feel bad for Amethio. He keeps losing. From losing to Friede and now to Rayquaza. I do wonder what it is he’ll do to get stronger. I do commend him for using both his Ceruledge and Corviknight in battle. At least, he knows he has two Pokemon and can use them efficiently unlike Liko and Roy who insist on training only one of their Pokemon and not both. When was the last time we saw Wattrel and Hatenna do something?

Why is Roy being so reckless again? I’d assume he had learned his lesson back in Episode 22 where he and Liko wandered into the deeper parts of the mines and almost got themselves in danger. He was being stupid yet again with the way he was yelling at Rayquaza to challenge him. Roy, it’s dangerous out there and what makes you think you are at the level to challenge Rayquaza when it beat the snot out of Amethio? At least Amethio had two fully evolved Pokemon, but you have two basic level Pokemon! What makes you think a mere Fuecoco and Wattrel is gonna make you earn Rayquaza’s respect? I just hope that this will be the deciding factor for him to get some development once and for all. I think the bad aspect of this reckless side is that he never gets reprimanded by the adults for his thoughtlessness. He almost got Liko and Friede in danger but not once did they scold him.

Terapagos’s Terastalized form is shown for the first time, but briefly. I do wonder what sort of relationship Terapagos and Rayquaza have because the former doesn’t seem too fond of the latter. Will there be a fight between in the future? I’d like to see that. I did like how the transformation was caused by it seeing Liko and Roy almost getting hurt and it didn’t want that to happen.

Diana is leaving the ship but only Friede knows so far. It’s interesting that Diana is leaving to investigate more on the pendant, Terapagos and the Explorers and she wants the Rising Volt Tacklers to keep searching for the Heroes. I do think she’ll return someday. It’s also interesting to learn that Hamber and Diana were once friends before learning he was a part of the Explorers. It just fuels more into the mysteries of who they are. I did like that Diana decides to train Liko and Roy with her Arcanine just so they can help them improve their battling. Good thing it was a practice match, which gave the two a victory. Had Diana been serious, she would’ve knocked them both out. However, the Diana segment does give me uneasiness. What if Diana gets hurt or gets captured by the Explorers later on?

The final episode of the mini Terapagos segment is out. I did get it right with how it was about the Paldean Starters. The finale is Terapagos going to the kitchen because it was hungry and then encounters Rockruff and Alcremie. Alcremie gives them her cream and Shuckle gives them its juice. Quaxly freaks out over the mess. It was super cute over all!

Now that everything has become peaceful once again, where will they go to find the other heroes? How will they encounter Kleavor and Entei? Will Amethio return stronger? Will Roy get that character development he needs? What do you think about this episode?

[aclosetfan]

I’ve always liked mixing the colors for ppg/rrb shipping but in particular I love the idea of Buttercup and Boomer

On the surface, I do love the trope of a tough-nut to crack girl and golden retriever boy who doesn’t even realize how much he’s chipping away at that shell

But I also always loved playing with the idea of both of them and their relationships to their gender identity, especially in relation to how they compare to/are treated by their siblings

I know it’s a bit of a cliche and people can ruin Buttercup’s tomboy personality and crank it up to an internalized misogyny archetype, but I think it would be interesting to explore her frustrations she might have with conflicting feelings over how she sees herself vs how she’s perceived by others. Of course she likes and prefers her hobbies of sports and things of that nature, but it bothers her that people then make assumptions about her hating any and all forms of femininity and then seek to deny her her femininity as a whole

Boomer also sometimes gets slapped with the “pretty boy” or really sensitive guy personality in fics not to mention we see in canon that Butch and Brick gang up on him so I think it would also be cool to have Boomer reflect on those toxic masculinity ideals that have always been inflicted on him and deciding for himself that he refuses to be miserable and just wants to be himself (I’d also love if this extended into a catalyst for Butch and Brick to examine their own internalized biases and insecurities and start to really confront and deal with them)

So then together, I’d love if they become each other’s person to talk to about how they feel like they’re expected to perform certain aspects of their gender (with Buttercup, she’s expected to always subvert traditional gender roles while at the same time being criticized for doing so and Boomer being made to feel as if he has to conform or else risk always being socially punished and outcast) rather than being able to just exist as their most authentic selves without having to hear anyone commenting on it or trying to label their entire personality in one word

This could be platonic or romantic but I’ve always loved the idea of this being a huge aspect of why Boomer and Buttercup could potentially click and match each other so well

That's very interesting to read! I usually fuck around with Buttercup's and Brick's gender myself, so thinking about it in the context of Boomer is fun. Typically, I make him pretty secure in his looks/gender.

When it comes to Buttercup/Boomer's relationship, I lean more heavily on them being the "dumber" ones of the trio. (jock x dumbass 100% bros. (If they dated, it’d be one of those things where even they’d forget they were dating.)

Not that I don't see them having a deeper connection than "bros," but I don't like to make Boomer a "golden retriever" or sensitive kind of guy because I think he'd be too manipulatively charming, and Buttercup would be savvy enough to see through the facade. Regardless, in the "bros" scenario, Boomer could be someone Buttercup feels comfortable confiding in when she's feeling like she's walking the line of masc/fem. If Boomer is confident in himself, he'd likely just accept whatever Buttercup wants to be and move on with his life. No if, and, or buts.

Honestly, he'd probably be the personification of "Oh, you're ambidextrous? Congrats, dude, I didn't know you had come out, lol. love is love." and that would be the type of person Buttercup would feel safe around. She wouldn't have to feel the pressure of "performing/masking" when her best friend's a bit of a dumb fuck, which has its pros and cons.

Pro: Buttercup doesn't have to think about herself on any deeper level around Boomer.

Con: Buttercup can hide behind Boomer when she's forced to confront herself on any deeper level.

It could lead to a character conflict between them, as it centers around the concepts of "being known" and "authenticity." Some things have to break eventually—either Buttercup gets mad at Boomer for effortlessly being himself, or Boomer gets mad at Buttercup for using him as a crutch (or being slightly two-faced), forcing them into the cathartic heart-to-heart.

[gigglyramblings]

Ranting about the current state of rom-coms in kdrama land

I can't help but feel a little frustrated with what Crash Course in Romance could have been and what we have a weird mishmash of romcom and murder mystery that just doesn't work. I have no proof of this but I feel like the writer went to the studios with the rom-com aspect where a traumatized celebrity math teacher gets a found family in the form of a warm-hearted banchan store owner and her little red tag family but the studios were like this is good but if we were to greenlight it, we would like you to add some murder to it and now hence we have this a show that is still enjoyable at times largely thanks to the great performances of Jeon Do Yeon and Jung Kyung Ho but could have been so much more if they put more emphasis on the found family aspect instead of the murder mystery aspect which is by far the show's weakest link. Like why don't we have more scenes of Jung Kyung Ho's character Choi Chi Yeol bonding with Nam Haeng Sun's daughter Nam Hae Yi? They could have developed such a cute father daughter like relationship! Instead, we have the screen time taken up by a murder mystery that feels like it was written by an elementary schooler.

Also, normally it would be a great thing that a drama is getting high ratings but honestly I wish the ratings for this drama weren't as high because I feel like studios will take the wrong lessons from this frustrating trend of every rom-com having a little murder mystery needing to continue when it's the exact opposite! We need more plain rom-coms kdramaland!

I know we've gotten Love To Hate You recently but that show really wasn't for me and I feel like it wouldn't have been such a fan favorite if we had more recent rom-coms! Love To Hate You in my opinion is one of those shows that needs to learn the concept of show don't just tell. It's so badly wants to be a feminist drama but without actually putting any of the work in order to be one. It will raise good points but never explore them any deeper. It's like Kim Ok-vin's character is from a recent modern feminist romcom but everyone else's character is from a k-drama romcom of the early 2000s. It's only thanks to Yoo Teo's performance and natural charisma that his character is even tolerable. And don't get me started on the second leads even Kim Ji Hoon's glorious mane couldn't stop me from fast forwarding his scenes with the second female lead.

I know Business Proposal really screwed up its ending and thus dampened people's love for it but I rather get another Business Proposal than another Love To Hate You even though undoubtedly Love To Hate You had the better ending.

Kdrama Gods please give us more fun rom-coms without murder! 🙏