#there’s just so few fics in this fandom

[hippopotamusdreamer]

The 8 Times Stray Kids Protected/Cared for You

genre. A (semi-heavy), F , C

warnings. death threat (?), mention of you should die, loneliness, allergic reactions, stalking, being followed, belittling, skin picking, feeling like you don't belong

additional notes. Female! Reader | You/Your pronouns, reader is aged between Hyunjin and Han, includes all members of Stray Kids, Reader is allergic, Lee Know as Minho in some parts

pairing. OT8 x 9th member

w.c. 13.4K

synopsis. A few separate instances that Y/N remembers within her time with Stray Kids

Kpop Masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

This in no way reflects the actual persons involved/based in this fic, nor their actual character. This is purely fiction.

Chan had always been very particular with how his members were treated. Whether it be by the staff or by fans. He’d always kept an eye out for them. A protector of the highest caliber. Always keeping his children in line and away from harm to the best of his abilities.

Of course, when you joined Stray Kids, at the behest of one Park Jin Young, it was a little rocky to say the least. He was kind to you, they all were, but there was that underlying unease when it came to having a new FEMALE member. Not like you faulted them for it either.

On the contrary, you understood completely why they kept their distance for a while after officially meeting you. There were still some hardcore stans out there that always had that weird stigma with their idols and how they interacted with the opposite sex.

You just hoped your group could get passed that speedbump. To some degree, anyways.

Going public with everyone was a hard thing for your group to do at the beginning of your personal debut. Especially since it came months and months after the whole group was already established.

The backlash was insane.

You knew it was going to be a bad situation regardless. You weren’t stupid enough to believe it wouldn’t be. Even KARD went through something similar and they started off as a co-ed group. Message trucks were sent to JYPE and around Seoul calling for your departure from Stray Kids. Flower arrangements were placed at the front of the building itself with hurtful messages on each one.

There were even a few comments on SNS and other media outlets that still stuck with you to this day years down the line.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It came to a head at the first fan meet and greet after the company stated that the group was now officially OT9. This was maybe 3 months in as a whole group, so everyone was pretty cordial with you. Still keeping a distance but at least they would acknowledge you even at the extent of a superficial conversation…

Being a girl, you obviously wouldn’t be able to get dressed and ready with the guys so there now had to be a designated dressing room solely for you. Your stylist and makeup artist had already finished your touch ups and so had left you to your own devices as they went to check on the others in the room next door.

It was lonely.

From your seat, you could hear the ruckus coming from the other room where the members were. The high-pitched giggles of Changbin, the yelling voices of both I.N and Felix. You could even hear the dulcet tones of Hyunjin getting onto someone.

It just made the silence in your room more poignant.

You wanted to join them, but you were scared of overstepping their boundaries. You could just feel their disdain for you whenever you stood near them. And you couldn’t help but emphasize that you GET. IT.

You did!

You weren’t there at the beginning of it all. You didn’t share in the hardships that they went through. Of when Felix and Minho were eliminated on Stray Kids Survival only for Chan to bring them back. You weren’t handpicked by the leader of the group. You don’t have that BOND.

But God did you wish you did. Instead you were chosen by the one guy that they like least of all. You were the pimple on an otherwise blemish free face.

So you sat, picking at your nails as your phone lit up on the counter in front of you. Grabbing the phone, you read the notifications that pop up on the screen.

@/LEEbitsgranma: Y/N should jst leave the grp alrdy, they don’t need her!!

@/LvrGirlSkZie: it’s all just for clout right?? Y/N is just using the boys when will JYP take action??

@/HyunsBbygrillll: I’m not saying Y/N should just d**, but,,,¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Your phone was getting hounded with notifications like these daily since, basically, the beginning of your introduction. You never replied to anything that was said and you never mentioned anything to the boys. Of course they had to have seen the signs in front of the building, but they never said anything to you. You didn’t want to cause them additional stress with your problems so you just endured it yourself.

Looking around you, you could just get a sense of loneliness inside your dressing room. Everything was still neat and in its designated place. There was a single standing rack with not even a third used for your clothes for the day. There were no pile of jackets and shoes in a corner, no trash from empty wrappers or drinks. No commotion as you just sat there in your chair quietly. It didn’t have that feeling that someone’s been there, it all just felt cold to you.

With a sigh, you closed your eyes and you tossed your phone back on to the counter to step out of the room. As you closed the door, you turn and made eye contact with I.N as he was about to step into his own dressing room, arms loaded with snacks. You go to greet him and possibly help him out with the door when he hurriedly continued on his way inside. He cried out in pain as his shoulder checked the frame.

The heavy door closed in your face.

You’re left to stand in the empty hallway, mouth frozen with a greeting stuck in your throat.

You pick at your nails unconsciously as you stood there, not sure where to look. You could feel the inside of your chest hurting at the blatant rejection from the youngest member of the group. Your mental health had really declined since this all started. And there were times when you’d just second guess yourself and thought about if this was the right thing to be a part of or not. But the legal fees alone would be a nightmare to deal with if you so much as tried to break your contract.

An unknown amount of time had passed since you stepped out of your room. The hallway empty in all that time you were out there, one of your fingers stung from how long you picked at the skin around your nail. Your dissociative state being disrupted as the same door I.N walked in through had Chan stepping out of it instead.

“Oh, Y/N, ” he greeted. “I was just coming to get you. Are you alright?”

“Huh?”

He just points at your hand. Seemed you picked yourself enough to make the skin around your nail to bleed a bit.

“Oh! Um…,” you hid your hand behind your back. “Yeah, I just came out to find a Band-Aid.”

“The stylists usually have some in their box for emergencies. The guys are all done changing so you can come get one from them.”

He turned to have you follow him but you shout to stop him.

‘THIS IS A BOUNDARY.’

Your mind yelled at you. You could not step into their space no matter what. You will not bother them in their safe space.

“It’s fine. It- um, I don’t even need one really, see?” you made a show of wiping the few drops of blood on your dark pants, willing no more blood to appear. When none did, you wiggled your fingers at him, forced smile on your face to urge him to believe you. “Look see, all better.”

He glanced at your hand before looking up at your face. He stared few minutes longer before slowly nodding his head in acceptance.

“Ok. I came out to come get you anyways.”

“Me?” You swear if you had any type of animal ears, they would have perked up at being looked for.

“Yeah, the meet and greet is about to begin. We’re about to start heading down to the area right now.”

“…Oh, right. Ok.” If Chan saw the disappointment on your face, he didn’t say anything about it.

At that, the boys started filing out of the room from behind him.

“Let’s go best leader!” I.N said, trying his best to speak in English. The coos following from every one of the guys was immediate. You smile at how well they were with each other, the pang in your heart slight at their connection.

You go to follow when you pat down your pants looking for the missing weight of your phone. Quickly, you remembered that you had left it in your room. Spinning around, you almost collided with Chan as he was following right behind everyone.

“What’s wrong?” He asks looking over you to make sure you were ok.

“I left my phone on the counter, I was gonna go grab it.”

“I got it,” he waved you off. “Go on with the others, I’ll be right behind you.”

“…You sure?”

He just nodded and gently motioned for you to go on. After a few seconds of hesitation on your part, you thanked him and trail after the boys who were way ahead of the two of you.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You were standing off to the side of everyone as you all waited for the go ahead from the staff members in charge. It was a small location, probably 350 people max allowed inside. They had decided to downscale this fan meeting “just in case”.

They never out right stated what the “in case” part was but everyone knew.

Chan came back not long after, face unreadable as he handed you your phone back. Thanking him again, you tucked it into your back pocket, not waiting to see what other messages you could have gotten while it was out of your sight. He goes off to talk to one of the managers and you’re left alone again, the boys interacting within themselves.

You begin to pick at your skin again.

“Y/N-ah,” Chan called out to you as he went back to your group by the door. Turning to him you give him a questioning look.

“You’re going to sit next to me today ok?”

Normally for fan meetings, idols were placed however they wanted. Since you were new, typically you had been at the end of the line as to not break apart any STAYs’ member pairings. A majority may not have liked you right now, but a few of them weren’t so bad so you hadn’t wanted to get on their bad side. You were told before that Chan was going to be at the edge this time around so it wasn’t really much of a difference to you.

Nodding, you both heard STAYS beginning to yell as someone on the microphone was heard introducing Stray Kids. The doors open and you fix a smile on your face as you all make your way out waving hello to the STAYs waiting.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You don’t know what you had expected as you sat there staring down at the table before you. Chan had decided that the both of you were going to sit in the middle, him to your left and Minho to your right. On one hand, what surprised you was having your very own fan cam. It was kind of fun to see it following you like a little puppy. On the other hand, the amount of times, people just straight up skipped you in line was both humiliating and disheartening.

You’d tried to sit on your hands to keep from picking at them but subconsciously it just happened after the 5th time being skipped over. In your own little mental bubble, you didn’t notice the worried glances the older members shot each other when they noticed what was going on the first time.

A few STAYs did stop at you though. It wasn’t all rough. The first STAY you met that day would always be a fond memory for you.

“Hi, Y/N, nice to meet you!”

“Hi! Nice to meet you, too,” You, and everyone else around you, could feel yourself brighten up at the STAY in front of you as you gave them a tender smile.

“I’m nervous,” she goes on to say. “This is my first fan sign.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” You say as you scoot a little closer in your seat. She leans in a little closer. “It’s my first fan sign, too.”

The both of you giggle at each other’s nervousness. The ice broken now that someone was willing to actually sit with you.

“I brought you a gift, it’s not much since I couldn’t afford anything after buying the ticket to come here. I just wanted to say that you’re doing an amazing job! Don’t listen to what people are saying online. They’re not real fans, I hope everything goes well for you this comeback and the ones after ok?”

You tried not to cry at the heartfelt words of the fan in front of you as she pulled out a little teddy bear from her bag. It was decorated with a little t-shirt that said “Bear-y Cool” on it. It had you immediately on your feet and leaning over the table to give her a hug.

The bear stayed with you throughout the rest of the meet and greet. Even when the staff would occasionally come by to clear the table of gifts that other STAYs had given the members, your bear was with you the entire time.

As time flew by it was now the ending lament and Chan didn’t hesitate to take the microphone.

“Hey guys,” his happy leader mode present as usual when sending STAY off.

“First of I just wanted to say that I’m so happy to have been able to meet and talk to so many of our fans today.” Everyone cheered and clapped, the flashing of cameras going off every now and then. “We had a great time with you all. This is the first time that we’re out meeting fans together as nine members. I do have to say though,”

The tension in the room shifted as Chan stared out into the audience. Him turning serious, watching the switch up was crazy from how happy-go-lucky he was a few seconds ago.

“I’m disappointed at how some STAYs having been acting online. What I saw today too, it really hurts my heart,” he said while grabbing at his chest. “Do you know what I hate the most? When people think that they’re trying to help but they’re actually not.

I know there are diehard fans out there that will say Stray Kids is eight members, but we’re nine now. And as long as Y/N-ah is here, we will always be nine. I know you guys are concerned about us, I understand that and we’re so grateful to you all, but you have to believe in us and what we’re doing. There’s no need to complain to the company or online, there’s no need to hate anyone for that matter. Stray Kids is nine members.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

News of Chan defending you spread quickly the days following the meet and greet. The online bullying dropped significantly as a result. Trucks and flowers trickled until eventually they stopped showing up altogether. A few online messages still made it through but other fans quickly put a stop to it. And an official company statement was made addressing all the atrocious behaviors done to your person and the legal actions that would proceed going forward should more were happen.

Your nailbeds were looking a lot healthier nowadays, too.

Yes, Chan was definitely protective of his members. No matter who it was that was targeting them, he would stick up for them in a heartbeat. And if you or anyone else ever noticed that he usually called you Y/N-ah now, well no one’s going to bat an eye about it.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

I.N was a verbal protector. Fierce in his own right, especially for being the youngest of the group.

Months following The Fan Meeting™, as everyone now called it, the boys really tried to open up to you more and vice versa. You’d learned that I.N wasn’t disregarding you on purpose that day, he was just nervous to have a one-on-one conversation with you. With you being half foreigner, he wasn’t all that confident in speaking with you yet even though you told him you could understand Korean. Not well but certainly enough to get by. Then you had brought up the fact that both Chan and Felix were also foreigners.

He apologized promptly afterwards.

After that conversation, the maknae decided to have mini studying sessions when the both of you weren’t busy with practice or recording vocals. To help you understand the language better and for him to get better at speaking English in general. The two of you would sit near the corner of the practice room and just have a notebooks and flashcards spread out all on the floor. A few of the members would also stop by to check on you two as well.

“아침은 뭐 먹었어요?” you said as you practice your pronunciation. I.N would then correct your infliction at the end. You would repeat it three times to get it down before redoing your sentence. Him nodding as you did it right.

“Morning what I eat?” I.N in turn, to practice, his English.

Smiling slightly, you lightly shook your head no. “Very close, English and Korean switch subject, verbs, and objects around. Try it again.”

He paused to let the information sink into his brain. He concentrated for a few seconds before saying, “What did I eat for breakfast?”

You clap and grin brightly at him and as he got it down quickly. He reflected your smile as you praise him. “Yes! That was perfect!”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It would continue like that until everyone was called back to continue practicing or it was time to leave. For weeks this went on, and the both of you got better with speaking and with each other. You still weren’t comfortable with interviews and usually you could get by without speaking too much.

It was about a month after the fan meet event when it all happened. There was this one interviewer who was just so invasive with his questions that he had directed towards you.

“Y/N-ssi,” you did not like the gleam in his eyes the entire time you all were there. Since the beginning of the interview, he just gave you a bad feeling. You were grateful you were sat in the second row behind I.N and Channie.

“Yes?”

“You’re from America, yes?” The interviewer started.

“That’s correct.”

“Are both your parents Korean?”

“…No, they’re not. My dad is though.” You were unsure where he was going with this. It wasn’t part of the usual line of questions interviewers would ask and guessing by the slightly confused faces of everyone in the room, they most likely weren’t vetted to be asked that day either.

“Ah, what a shame. Maybe that’s why you’re not as popular as your other members.”

That one took you aback. Processing was a hassle since he started to talk faster. As if making sure to trip you up.

“Uh—.”

He cuts you off.

“Does it make you angry? 당신은 STAYs에게 더 많은 attention 원합니까? Do you 그들을 원망합니까?”

He was speaking too fast for you to process his sentences at once. Though you knew enough to know he was basically talking down to you. All you could do was flounder in your seat as you had trouble mentally translating everything this man was saying to you. Basically spit firing everything so you couldn’t even get a word in even if you wanted to.

It was I.N who grabbed the microphone from Chan before the leader could step in on your behalf.

“Interviewer-nim, those are questions that are neither appreciated nor appropriate at any time. Your actions regarding one of my members is really disgraceful and rude. This is something that our managers will talk to your higher ups about. ”

“That’s—” Just as he did to you, I.N cuts him off mid-sentence.

“We expect an apology from you and your company for my noona within the next few days. This interview is now over.”

And with that he dropped the microphone onto the floor before grabbing your hand and walking out. Chan nodded his head in agreement, angry tick in his jaw, as the others follow behind the two of you, also voicing their grievances with the interviewer.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Back in your designated dressing room, I.N was pacing back and forth fuming. You sat there, waiting for him to calm down on his own.

“He had no right to talk to you that way noona! He was being rude and hurtful and for what!?”

You couldn’t help but give a small smile at his little tirade. This was now the second time he’s called you noona and you won’t lie, it kind of makes you giddy for being honored in such a way by the maknae.

“He was,” you agreed from your seat on the couch. “And he most likely won’t be the last one to be rude to me or any of the others.”

He pulled a disgruntled face because he knew you were right.

“But,” you continued, I.N finally plopping down on the seat next to you. “I’m glad we’ll always have you there to have our backs like that. I deeply appreciate you standing up for me.”

You hesitated for a split second before you brought your hand up to pat his head softly. Delighted when he didn’t push you off.

There was a knock on your door before Chan popped his head in. Seeing both you and I.N inside, he fully stepped in.

“Hey, just wanted to check on the two of you.”

Looking at Chan then back to I.N you respond, “We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, after he apologizes,” I.N grumbled as he crossed his arms across his chest, managing to make both you and Chan chuckle at him.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Suffice it to say, that interview never saw the light of day. You and your team also never worked with that interviewer afterwards either. And just as I.N wanted; an official letter of apology was sent to the company addressed to “Y/L/N Y/N of Stray Kids”. It sat framed in the dorm room to this day.

I.N being the one that had picked out the frame. It was there as a constant reminder of not letting anyone try to belittle you and continued to be with you for every moving day you’d had to make since then.

Yeah, you felt it in your entire being that I.N was fiercely protective of his members. And as his noona, you were just as fiercely protective of him too.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

If I.N was fierce, Changbin was silently reliable as a protector. For how loud he could be, he also knew when to just be there for you.

Though it was becoming less and less rocky with the group as time went on, you still felt like you could be in the way at times. Nothing crazy, but you did decide that to give them some space away from you at the dorm, you would either stay late in the practice room or go to the gym at night. It wasn’t for a long time, just an hour or two of extra time for yourself and that way the guys could have space to be “men” without the fear of you walking around.

It was going fine for the most part. You could arrange a Kakao taxi to drop you off at the apartment from the JYPE building if you stayed later than everyone. Or, if you happened to be at the gym you frequented, it was essentially located about 20 minutes from the shared dorm by walking.

You just had to count it as an extra form of cardio for your workout.

Chan and I.N would do a check-in if they felt you were out later than usual and you would respond back quickly as to not let them worry. Then you’d pack it up and head home.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Y/N-ah, are you gonna be in the practice room tonight?” Chan asked, everyone else wrapping things up for the night. He was sat in his studio chair, mixer spread behind him, lights flashing every now and then. You had no idea what any of them did.

“Not tonight Channie, it’s leg day. Gonna head for the gym.”

He nodded and told you to be careful before turning back to his abundance of buttons and dials. He was also staying late tonight.

You managed to make it outside when you got a text form I.N.

Little Maknae <3: u sure u don’t want to join gamerz night with me n Felix?

Smiling down at the screen you respond with an emoji declining his offer and told him good luck on their games.

Little Maknae <3: Noona, I’m playing w/Felix, I  need all the help I can get ㅋㅋㅋ

You rolled your eyes with a fond smile before sticking your phone away in your pocket. A sense of unease happened to wash over you though and you couldn’t help but look around to see if you spotted anything out of the ordinary. The sun was already starting to set on the day and the area looked clear for the most part.

Looking around one more time you brushed it off as your taxi arrived in front of you. Hopping inside you greeted the driver before confirming your location drop off. You hoped the feeling disappeared as he took off from the building.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You were an hour and half into your set and that weird feeling just would not go away. The feeling in your gut caused you to bite at your lip in worry as you decided that you were done for the day. Calling it a night, you were mid-packing of your stuff when a guy you’ve never met before came up to you from seemingly out of nowhere.

Startled, you almost dropped your water bottle. An alarm bell began ringing in your head as you blinked at him. Something was not right and your instincts were screaming at you to get out of there.

“Hi,” he started, giving you a onceover. You were thankful that the leg press was between the both of you. “I’m not sure if you noticed but I’ve been working out next to you a couple of times now and I just wanna say you have such a good form.”

Sirens? Blaring. Heart? Pumping. And it wasn’t not due to the endorphins of a good workout.

“You’re so flexible when you stretch, too. I always tried to go as low as you do but I just can’t seem to manage. You make it look so easy.”

“Thank…you?” You’re not sure what to do. You know you should tell the staff about this dude’s creepy behavior but as of right now they were on the first floor and you were currently on the second. There was no one else around so you had to be even more careful because who knew just what he was capable of. You were both the same height but that could only take you so far.

“Um…well I have to go now,” reaching down to grab your bag, he put his hand over yours to stop you. Boy do you stop, practically frozen in your spot.

“Wait, you’re going now? Your sets usually last for a little bit longer don’t they?”

“Yeah but uh, I…have an early day tomorrow so I have to leave,” managing to pry yourself away from him, you took a step back.

He stared at you without blinking before he broke out into a smile. “Right, you’re probably busy tomorrow. It was so great to finally talk to you. I remember when you first started to come here, you had no idea what you were doing.” He laughed as if you two were just the best of friends sharing an inside joke. “Alright well I’ll let you head out, I’ll catch you in two days for your next session, ok?”

Before you can respond, he left with a wave and you’re finally alone. Hastily, you head downstairs to talk to one of the staff members in charge. The guy was already gone by the time you had made it to the front desk. They couldn’t do much since the guy didn’t actually assault you but they took down your statement and his description to warn the other team members to keep an eye out for him.

You didn’t feel comfortable leaving the gym immediately only because you weren’t sure if he was waiting outside for you or not. Instead, you stayed in the locker room for an extra 35 minutes, procrastinating with the sauna and a shower. Anything to keep you inside for a bit longer.

You’d tried calling Chan and I.N yet neither picked up. You knew it was a long shot with both of them being busy tonight, but you had to try either way.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

By the time you felt okay enough to leave the safety of the building, it was nearing 11 pm and you were hungry. There was a CU that you would pass by somewhere along the halfway point when you walked home, you would probably stop there for a snack to go. Surely, the guy wouldn’t still be hanging around right?

You didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary like earlier so you went on with your routinely walk home. The familiar purple and green lights of the convenience store came into your view and you released a breath you weren’t aware of holding. Heading inside, the bell alerted anyone inside that someone came into the store. Greeting the tired looking university girl behind the counter, you head to the back towards the refrigerator section that had all the kimbap varieties.

You were stuck choosing between a tuna bacon mayo and a spicy pork one when the overhead bell dinged again and that uneasy feeling came back to you with a vengeance. Slowly, you glanced to the corner security mirror and in the reflection you could make out the same guy from the gym was now there. Your hands shook as you placed both snacks back down.

The guy headed down into the next aisle over from you and you swiftly walked to the clerk up at the front. You could only hope that what you were about to do worked because your options were already slim. Taking out your phone, you typed a message and presented it to the girl while asking her a question.

“Excuse me, is there a restroom that I can use here?”

There is a man following me, could you hide me somewhere?

She looked as if to deny you before looking confused after reading the message on your phone. The desperation in your face probably helped convince her that you needed help because she started nodding and motioning for you to come behind the counter. All the while keeping an eye out for the man in case he turned the corner.

“Yes, you can come this way.”

You sent her a thankful look as you followed her. She told you to remain in there and she’d let you know if he left or not.

You took out your phone again and clicked on a random name in your contact list. Hoping beyond hope that someone would pick up this late. It rang three times before someone answers.

“Hello?”

Seo Changbin.

Finally allowing yourself to be scared, your voice was quiet and shaky as you addressed him, “C-Changbin?”

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” His concern is palpable even through the receiver.

“There’s a creepy guy that followed me from the gym. I tried calling Chan and Innie but they weren’t answering their phones. A-and I didn’t know what to do or who else to call…”

He cursed quietly and then you heard the rustling of keys on his end. “Where are you? Are you safe? Share your location with me and I’ll be there soon alright.”

“I’m safe for now, I’m in the employee office of the CU that’s 13 minutes from the dorm,” you do as he says and shared your location with him.

“Good, don’t move from there until I get you ok? I’m on my way.”

“Binnie…I’m scared…”

He was silent for a moment before his serious and reassuring tone could be heard over the line, “I know you are, but I promise he’s not going to do a thing to you you hear me?”

You nodded into your phone and waited for him to come to you. He didn’t allow you to hang up, wanting to be in constant contact with you while he shortened the distance between you two.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Just as he promised, Changbin made it to your location in record time. By the time he arrived the guy had already left when he realized you weren’t in the store anymore. From what the worker explained to the both of you, the guy had come up to her asking if she had seen his girlfriend, aka you.

That made you visibly uncomfortable and Changbin put his arm around you in comfort. Changbin made sure to get the worker’s information and a recording from the store’s CCTV of when you entered the CU to when the guy left sent to his manager’s email. Then he reached out to your gym to get their CCTV recording, as well as a copy of your written statement against the man. He was going to make sure that this guy would not be allowed anywhere near you.

On the short drive home, he kept looking over at you to make sure you were ok.

“Why do you go to the gym so far from the dorm? The one I go to is a lot closer.”

“…I didn’t want to invade into your space.”

“My…? Huh!? Y/N-ah, from now on just come to the gym with me ok. It’s better than going at night by yourself. Safer too.”

“But—”

“Y/N-ah, you don’t know how worried I was when you called me. I don’t ever want to feel like that if I can help it. I never liked the fact that you went out at night but I wanted you to have time for yourself too. So, if that means I can now take you with me in the mornings, I’m all for it, this way I know for sure that you’re safe.”

All you can do is give a watery smile, his words making you feel warm inside after the mess of the night had been. You agreed, not because he didn’t give you much of a choice, but because the sincerity of his words really hit home.

“Also, I want to enroll you in some self-defense classes. As long as I’m around, I’ll have your back but this is for just in case purposes ok?”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Chan and I.N managed to call you back soon after arriving back at the dorm with Changbin. Both nearly had a heart attack when he explained what had happened to you. They both calmed down slightly when Changbin explained all that he was planning to do with the information he received.

He immediately made a note to cancel your gym membership and put you on his gym family plan in the morning. He doesn’t force you to go with him but you can tell he would get excited when you do decide to join him. He always asked how your class were as he would usually be waiting outside the door for you when you get done, not wanting to interrupt your session. You never did see that guy again after that, you just hoped he wasn’t doing the same thing to some other poor girl.

Changbin also started taking up the habit of walking with you after that incident, that way you never had to do it alone. Even if it was just a quick trip to the convenience store, he would be the first to get up to go with you. And you never once stopped sharing your locations with each other after that night.

Of course, that’s just how reliably protective your Changbinnie was.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Seungmin was one of the more quieter members of the group. Not in the bad why mind you, he just brought a sort of calm to the family function that you really enjoyed. He was also the more silent of the group when it came to protecting the others. Caring in the way that he observed rather than spoke. He was subtle in his actions. Didn’t outright say anything.

Just like everyone else, you came to learn that acts of service was definitely one of his love languages. The amount of times you’d caught him being kind to the members really made your heart melt. For all that he portrayed that he didn’t get along with the members of Stray Kids, you knew it was the complete opposite.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It was awkward at first, as you sat across from Seungmin on the little couch that the staff provided. Both of you were shooting ‘Two Kids Room’. Neither of you were used to being the only two filmed together and not with the whole group. Yet, always the gentleman, as soon as you had sat down, Seungmin handed you a pillow for your lap and a blanket for your legs since you had been wearing shorts.

The staff had provided a few tubes of pringles to snack on and he read the tube and then immediately offered you the first chip of his newly opened can. Most likely checking if your allergen was present in the food.

As you kindly accepted his offer, it caused you to smile.

“Did you know I was scared of you all when I first joined,” you started out, popping the whole chip into your mouth.

“Oh, yeah?” he smiled as he ate one and then gave you another, probably thinking you were joking. Taking the snack, you nodded your head yes.

“Yeah, I felt like I was overstepping a lot by coming into the group so late.”

“Do you still feel like that?” A cute look of concern passed over his face, realizing this was something you were serious about. Subconsciously though, he continued to give you chips alternating with himself as he took one after you.

“Mmm, not as much as I used to,” you relay, nodding to yourself as you tried to get your thoughts in order. He waited patiently for you to continue speaking, not wanting to interrupt you.

“You actually helped me feel better about being here.”

“Huh, me?” He questioned surprisingly. You couldn’t help but giggle at his stunned face. The cuteness aggression he brought out of you was so real.

“How do I put this?” you pursed your lips in thought. “Your actions speak louder than words Seungminnie. Though you may not have realized it, they really do matter to us.”

His face flushed slightly at being addressed endearingly as such.

“Do you remember mmm,” you continued on, not acknowledging his reddened face lest he get more embarrassed. “I forgot what it was for, but we had to film all day while walking around Seoul. So we were constantly on the sidewalks when they weren’t driving us to the different locations.”

He made a noise of affirmation, still handing you food.

“Of course, you know there were times when I would be walking with someone else that day, but there were also a lot of times when I would be walking next to you. You always made sure that I was walking on the opposite side of where the road was. No matter what, it was like clockwork, if I had somehow found my way next to the busy road and you were nearby; you made sure to move me to the other side of you and away from traffic.”

“Really?” He said, surprised to hear what he did.

“Yeah, and you still do it to this day,” this particular chip being extra crunchy made the end of your sentence more prominent. You couldn’t help but giggle out the next sentence to see the reaction of your second youngest member. “I always that that was very manly of you.”

“Noona!”

That got a laugh out of you as he scoffed in embarrassment, pouting.

“I’m serious though,” you said, once again turning thoughtful. “You take care of us in quiet ways, Seungminnie.

It’s like when we get together to eat and somehow Channie always ends up cooking at some point or another? You always make sure him and I eat a few pieces first before eating yourself because you know that we would let the others eat before we do. Which, again, stemmed from me not feeling like I fit in with the group and is just so leader of one certain Bang Chan but ugghh,” you couldn’t help as your eyes got glossy at the memories that came to mind of how Kim Seungmin took care of you all silently. “It can be so frustrating because we want Chan to take care of himself, but he’s so steadfast in putting others before himself. Which isn’t a bad thing at all!

But you make sure to look out for Channie and every one of us all the time. Just like today, you made sure that I was comfortable before we even started filming this. You even gave me the first bite of your snacks. The amount of times you’ve made sure I wouldn’t fall when I had to wear new heels for a stage, I have no words to describe how that makes me feel. All I can say is thank you Seungmin, from the bottom of my heart, for taking care of us in the way you do. I see you; we see you. And we treasure you for everything you’ve done, what you haven’t done and for what you continue to do.”

By this point he was avoiding eye contact with you and staring up at the ceiling. He was quiet for a moment before he blew air out of his mouth, taking the occasional deep breath to calm himself.

Clearing his throat twice before starting his sentence, “I think about that kind of thought always, am I doing enough for my members? Am I helpful enough. All my members are precious to me, so I want to do well for you all. I’m always…,”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as he began to cry. You brought him in for a hug and pat his head lovingly as you rocked the both of you from side to side.

“You will always be enough for Stray Kids, Seungminnie. And for Stays, too, understand?”

“You too, noona. You’re enough for Stray Kids and Stays too,” he got out around a sniffle.

You hugged him tighter after that.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

When your episode of ‘Two Kids Room’ dropped, it had become one of the most watched episodes of the entire season. The other members immediately ganging up on the two of you with hugs that you each tried to run from. There was definitely a shift for the better in the group after that.

Since then, Seungmin had made an effort to seek you out when in a group setting. Making sure you were comfortable, safe, and not alone (unless you wanted to be). His subtle ways of protecting you and the others not changing but you wouldn’t want him to be any other way but himself.

It was like that one saying went.

If Kim Seungmin had a million fans, then you were one of them. If Kim Seungmin had ten fans, then you were one of them. If Kim Seungmin had only one fan then that was you. If Kim Seungmin had no fans, then that meant you were no longer on earth. If the world was against Kim Seungmin, then you were against the world.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Just like Seungmin, Minho was an observer. He paid attention to everyone in his little makeshift family. What they liked and what they didn’t. He was member who you would categorize as a combination of subtle and dramatic when taking care of others.

He was the type to pick something up and lock it away mentally until it was time to use that information again. You weren’t sure if that was just the dance leader in him or if he was just Like That™. Most likely both if you were being honest.

It was surprisingly, or rather unsurprisingly, him who looked out for you first when you joined. It wasn’t how most would think either. It honestly took you off guard when it happened.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

All throughout your life you had been allergic to peanuts and walnuts. It wasn’t that much of a problem since you would simply avoid them whenever possible. Like those with a severe allergy, your skin would break out into hives and your throat would tighten up. If left untreated you could go into anaphylaxis shock and die.

Thankfully, after you first encounter as a child, you and your family were pretty vigilant about what contained the little devil nuts and what didn’t.

It was pretty traumatic for your parents when it had first happened. Imagine, little Y/N bumbling into the kitchen for a snack of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A brand new treat for you to try, except the peanut butter tried to exact someone kind of unknown revenge and kill you right after the first couple of bites?? Rude.

Suffice it to say, that new jar of peanut butter was thrown out as soon as you all made it home from the hospital.

It wasn’t something you advertised, just made sure restaurants understood whenever you went to eat somewhere new. You had your main spots you frequented so much, so they were already aware of your allergies. Those were your safe restaurants to eat back home in America.

But when you had left your home country to live with your grandparents and then moved to Seoul to pursue your dream career, it was a little touch and go in the new cities. Korea didn’t take nut allergies as seriously as they should since it wasn’t as common as it was in the west.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The first thing JYPE did when you joined was take you to meet your new group who were all out for a meal that the company had set up. You had thought that when you accepted a position as a new vocal, you’d be put into an up-and-coming girl group. When you arrived at the restaurant though, only to see an established boy group, you hadn’t known what to think. The silence in the air was deafening in the loud redtaurant.

“Introduce yourself,” your personal manager, Heejin, prompted.

“Yes, hello, I’m Y/L/N Y/N, 00’ line. I’m a vocal singer, nice to meet you,” you started partly in English with a bow. The managers had wanted you to sit in the middle of the table to break the ice, but you insisted that you were fine sitting at the end. When none of the guys had made a move to introduce themselves back, the managers did it for them. As one could imagine, it was awkward at best and unbearable at worst. The food hadn’t even arrived yet as you sat and fiddled with the chopsticks for your designated seat.

You were sat next to Minho and across from Seungmin, the quieter end of the table. Not that the rest was any better with no one knowing what to say. Most avoided looking at you, more than likely pissed at your presence altogether.

‘And with good reason,’ you thought to yourself.

While staring down at your hands to avoid their possible angry gazes, you noticed a hangnail on your index finger and you begin to pick at it. You jumped as a waitress began to place the side dishes on the table. The table thanked her and this caused everyone to finally stir slightly, now having small conversations with each other.

“We don’t mean to be rude Y/N-ssi. We just didn’t expect the company to pull this kind of thing on us,” Bang Chan said from his position at the other end of the table. The first to actually talk to you.

“Oh no, it’s ok. I understand, I didn’t know it was going to be like this either...”

Kimchi and myeolchi bokkeum were placed in front of you and you had to do a double take at the stir-fried anchovy and peanut dish. You could just feel your throat wanting to close by just looking at it. Subtly, you tried to push the dish away from you as far as possible without alerting anyone.

Minho must have noticed at one point because he moved the little side dish to his right and replaced it with the gaji-namul. Egg plant was a far better dish than peanuts. The meat finally came and everyone became livelier. Once ready, you waited for the others to get their pieces of meat first, not wanting to fight them for a portion immediately after being introduced. If you were back home, nothing would have stopped you from being one of the first to reach in that grill.

You sat picking at your rice bowl and sides as you watch Seungmin take a piece from your side of the grill to Bang Chan to try. Smiling at the sweet gesture, you couldn’t help but feel guilty by watching the tender moment between members. As if it was something you weren’t supposed to see. When Seungmin returned, most of the meat on your grill was gone and you decided to wait for the next round instead. You were picking up a piece of eggplant when a piece of meat was placed on your plate, looking up at Seungmin, he didn’t make eye contact as he continued to make a ssam for himself.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

That same night, after dinner, the group decided they wanted dessert and that a food truck was the best place to get it since it was already mid-November. You kept to yourself as you followed behind them. Upon arriving at the desired destination, you noticed that there were two vendors side by side. One was selling a few items such as eomuk tang, the delicious little fish cake soup, and hotteok. The other was just selling bungeo-ppang, your favorite little fish bread with no fish inside.

The smell alone at the first stall was enough to cause an irritant in your throat, one you tried to clear quietly. Moving upwind from the smoke, you waited patently as the others began to tell Changbin what they wanted. Him yelling back how they only liked him for his money.

You smiled at the scene once more from your little corner, happy that they could still goof around with each other with you around. Jeongin came up to you then and placed a cup containing a hotteok in your hands.

“You, eat,” he said in broken English, gesturing you to eat up before turning around to the others again. The warmth is great for your fingers but the walnut powder they used for this dessert would surely kill you. You had your epi-pen with you always but you didn’t want to use it if you could help it. You were unsure of what to do as you bit your lip in contemplation. There was a trash can next to the stall but everyone was around it and you didn’t want to be outright rude.

You were brought out of your thoughts when Minho cleared his throat next to you. “You want switchie? This choux cream.”

He held out the fresh fish bread to you. Smiling brightly, you thanked him as you nod vigorously and switch your cup with his wrapper. You munched happily on the little fish-pastry as he looked at you for a second longer than normal, just observing, though you put it out of your mind rather quickly.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

There were more instances like that as time went on yet somehow Minho was always there to help you out. No one else being none the wiser. Until he eventually came to talk to you about it and made it 100% clear how bad it could be if you were to consume peanut/walnut based dishes. You also explained how you didn’t mind not telling anyone about it, Lee Know just nodded, pat you on the head and walked away.

But maybe you should have.

A week later, at the dorm was when everything snowballed. It was slightly awkward, just like everything else at first, when you all had found out that you were moving in. Someone even had to switch rooms so that you could have a room to yourself.

Of course, you felt bad for that happening.

So there you were, in the kitchen with Lee Know and Felix, sitting at the table as they were preparing lunch. Lee Know was stirring something on the stove when Felix stopped chopping vegetables to open a small yellow sleeve of an unknown treat.

“Y/N-ssi, do you want to try a kook hee biscuit?”

“Cookie biscuit?”

“Yeah a kook hee buscuit,” he pulled out a little a little sandwich cookie for you try. As you reached for it, Lee Know appeared from where he once was and snatched it from Felix’s open palm only to then shove it into his mouth. The two of you looking at him perplexed at his actions.

“Hyung…?”

He didn’t say anything as he stared the both of you down. Stared you down. But you didn’t understand. Felix went to give you another one when Lee Know smacked that one on to the floor instead.

“What are you doing?” Felix says, getting a little fed up. He tossed another one to you only for Lee Know to miss catching it in air. You cheered as you grabbed it midair and shoved it into your mouth. You chewed the cookie in your mouth as Lee Know began to panic, he gestured for you to spit it out but you and Felix looked at him in confusion.

And then you realized your mistake as your mouth started to tingle. Lee Know grabbed the yellow wrapper from Felix and thrusted it in your face. It was enough for you to read that it was a peanut cookie. You sat shell shocked; your breathing coming out faster until Lee Know took your face in his hand and squeezed your cheeks for you to spit it out into his other hand. You do as he instructed but you could already feel your skin becoming itchy and your throat constricting.

“119,” you manage out.

“Huh?” Felix said now starting to worry at the scene before him.

“Call 119!” Lee Know yelled, following behind you as you ran to your room. You slip and stumbled into the living room catching the attention of Han and Jeongin, as they were the only two inside the apartment besides the three of you. Both of them looked confused as they saw you and Lee Know running, shortly followed by Felix who was on the phone. It took them a split second to decide to go after you all.

You were wheezing and coughing as time went on. You had kept your epi-pen safely secured in your bag in case of emergencies. Shaky were your hands as you took out the familiar yellow tube. Lee Know sees and took it from you as you laid against the bed, you could just vaguely hear Felix and Han on the phone with the paramedics as Lee Know and Jeongin struggled to read the pen.

You grabbed Lee Know’s hand and mimed a stabbing motion into your leg, he noticed how weak your grasp was. Understanding, yet horrified, he took the cap off and immediately stabbed the orange side down into your thigh through the pajama pants you had on. The click and instant relief in your throat letting you know it worked.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Lee Know stayed with you in the hospital after the paramedics arrived to take you there. The other members found out from a freaked out Felix, Han and Innie and immediately tried to visit you. Lee Know stopped them from coming, wanting you to rest and not be bombarded with everyone at once. He knew it wasn’t possible but he always double checked that the food the hospital nurses brought in for you contained no traces of peanuts or walnuts.

It would be years later during a random SKZ CODE involving food that Lee Know would go ballistic because a staff member would fill the snack table with Gilim brand honey butter peanut snacks. You hadn’t even checked yet what was available to eat when he stormed onto the set and took all the snacks out of the room and into the men’s restroom to throw away just to make sure you wouldn’t go anywhere near them.

Yes, Lee Know was quiet when he wanted to be, but when he was making sure you were safe and alive, he could get fiercely protective.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

One would think Han would be loud with his actions when it came to caring for others. Probably yelling or laughing in some shape or form. But that’s not usually the case, he was more quiet in a sense.

Jisung was not one to draw attention to himself, his anxiety didn’t allow him to do that. Not one to take credit where credit was due for those instances. Slyly as he did it, like it was just second nature for him to do.

Knowing him, it probably was, too.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You first found out about one of the little habits the young rapper had when at a different fan sign than your first. This time you were seated at the front of the line, the first to greet STAYs and Han happily sat between you and Chan.

You’d been fiddling with a sharpie in your hand from the nerves, since they never really went away no matter how many times you’d done this, so much that it had ended up slipping from your grasp and dropping onto the floor. When you had bent down to get it and back up, the crowd of fans were awing loudly. Turning to Han to figure out what had happened, you found he was in a deep conversation with Channie.

The fan meet started soon after that so you never had the opportunity to ask what happened.

When the fan cams got uploaded later on that night, it was then when you remembered what you had wanted to ask. Pulling up the feed, you quickly found the reason why STAYs were going crazy. You couldn’t help but smile at the scene on the screen.

While mid conversation with Channie, Jisung had reached over to your corner of the table and blocked the edge for you to not hit yourself. Only to then remove it as soon as the top of your head cleared the table.

Never once did he look in your direction. Just naturally moved his hand in place and back out again. It made you giddy enough to rewatch it three times afterwards.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The next time his protective/gentlemanly nature popped out was after a MAMA performance. The stylists had decided to put you in a skirt with new heels to dance in which made you uncomfortable to do the choreography in. Somehow though, you’d managed to give a decent performance and as you were coming down from the stage, flashes from a variety of media outlets were going off everywhere.

Hyunjin had made sure to hold your hand and arm for stability when coming down the glossy steps. Jisung was very cool as he took off his coat and stepped down in front of the two of you. In one smooth motion, he turned around and opened the cloth to block the view of your legs from the cameras gazes. It was only a few steps downward but it meant a lot. Even when on floor level, he made sure to wrap his jack around you, not that it would fit completely, Mr. 70 cm waist and all, but it was the thought that counted.

“Thank you Ji,” you chuckle out.

But as always, he didn’t say anything about his actions, just smiled brightly, eyes disappearing behind his cheeks, and continued on to your table where Seungmin stood waiting for you to give you a blanket he acquired from somewhere.

Jisung insisted you keep his coat for the remainder of the night if you happened to feel cold at some point. You never did with the blanket on your lap, but you still kept it close by.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It was on a trip to an early morning location shoot that something happened again. Instead of separate vehicles, everyone had been piled into a big van together. You had the fortune to sit by the window with Jisung to your left by the aisle.

As you were dozing in and out of consciousness, a few of the others were talking quietly amongst themselves. You had tried to join them at one point mid-conversation but your words were slurred and they giggled at your groggy state, urging you to go back to sleep.

You were the process of shifting in your seat to lay your head on Jisung’s shoulder when the driver called back to the group. Your auditory processors were not working well to understand what was being said since you were so out of it, but in the next moment Jisung had thrown his arm over your chest to prevent you from going forward as the van came to quick halt.

You jolted awake as you all pitched forward in your seats. Stopping only because of the seatbelts.

“Ji?” you cried out, scared at the sudden disruption to your less than perfect slumber. Grabbing ahold of his arm in a panic, he quickly turned to calm you down.

“No, it’s ok, you’re ok.”

“Is everyone else ok?”

“Yeah, everyone’s fine, you’re fine.”

Obviously, you couldn’t go back to sleep after that, no matter how much Jisung tried to reassure you. Stopping like that would happen one more time on that trip, something to do with bad breaks, you weren’t too sure. It may not have been as rough as the first time, but Jisung made sure to hold you back with his arm once again.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Han Jisung was the type of man to block the sharp corner of the cabinet so you wouldn’t bump your head and act like he didn’t do it. The type of man to use his jacket to block your lower body when in a dress at an award show. And the type of man that, if you were sitting next to him in a car, he’d stick his arm out in front of you to protect you.

Jisung was the type of protector that would want no praise nor commotion for anything he’d done. Because it was just natural for him.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Hyunjin was funny in a way. For all the times he’s claimed he didn’t like skinship, mans was sure clingy. The amount of times he would pull a disgusted face whenever anyone was near him only to be all over them not even ten minutes later was hilarious to you.

Yet there were times, though, when he needed to grab on to you, not for skinship, but to make sure you were in his line of sight at all times. Even surrounded by bodyguards it wasn’t as safe as you thought it could be.

An incident in the past had led Hyunjin to be more aware of where you were in an airport, wanting to be on the more cautious side than anything. Hyunjin became your official unofficial airport buddy after that.

And he took his new role in your life very seriously.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

When you and the boys arrived back in Korea from visiting Chan and Felix’s families in Australia, the crowd that awaited you was not something the group was prepared for.

Later on you would all learn that someone had leaked your flight information online. Which in itself was already a scary thing to think about, but the amount of people that had been waiting for you all had just been overwhelming.

By this point in time, you had grown closer to them all, a far cry from how it was when you had first joined that was for sure. Enough to be able to fight them for a piece of meat on the first round.

Typically, when arriving at Incheon airport, you’d end up walking in the back with Chan and Hyunjin. That was just how it naturally occurred. Yet with the amount of people surrounding you, you had lost sight of them easily. You could vaguely spot the blond hair that belonged to Felix but he was too far away to reach, and no amount of yelling would do you any good since the crowd had that covered.

Looking back and forth, you were on the verge of panicking since you didn’t even see your own guard near you, another casualty to the swarm of people. When a sudden tug on your hoodie pulled at you to the right. Scared, you were about to fight for your life. Your arm was already pulled back, ready to swing at whoever tried to grab at you. Those self-defense classes Binnie had you in was about to come out. Cause baby, you were not the one.

Only, you noticed Hyunjin’s shaggy hair just in time.

He stared at you for a second, eyes going wide above the face mask that he wore, at what you were about to do.

“…Come on, let’s go,” he said eventually, incredulously shaking his head at you. You tried not to giggle at his reaction but it was just so hard not to. “Everyone’s already ahead of us.”

“Really?” you asked, now worried about what could have happened as you lagged behind. Agreeing quickly, you took a step forward until he tugged you back again. With a questioning look, you turned back to him.

“It’s this way pabo,” the amusement in his voice was clear throughout all the yelling in the area. He threw his arm over your head in a headlock and dragged you toward the direction you needed to go.

“Hyunjinnie~,” you groaned out, your head tilted at an awkward angle.

“This is for your own protection. We don’t need you getting lost right now.”

“I get lost at an airport one (1) time and everyone holds it over my head for the rest of my life.”

All he could do is cackle.

Eventually he did let go of your head once the both of you made it back with the group. The guards finally doing their job in securing a circle around you all.

“Did she go and get lost again?” Seungmin joked while trying to hide a smile.

“She was about to,” Hyun replied, making sure he still held onto a part of your hoodie.

“I was not,” you said while giving Hyunjin his own signature look of disgust.

“Aigoo, if you keep making that face, it’s gonna get stuck like that,” he teased while pinching your cheek. You swatted his hand away from your face, soothing over where he pinched, him and Seungmin laughed in response.

Following along with everyone, you could still feel his light grip on your clothing. As if he was afraid that you’d somehow disappear if he were to let go. In all honesty, his actions did bring you some form of comfort while in the throng of people. Like your own personal grounding anchor.

He continued to hold onto you until you made it out of the airport. With all the media around, you all were forced to do an impromptu press conference welcoming you back in the parking lot. Hyunjin made sure that you were next to him and that your clothes weren’t a total mess after the long ten hour flight.

“STEP OUT! ANNYEONGHASEYO STRAY KIDS-IMNIDA!,” you all shouted out and bowed to the crowd before you. The fans behind the paparazzies went wild. You all did the appropriate amount of waving and smiling but you just wanted to go home and collapse into bed already.

When a tug on your sleeve caught your attention, Hyunjin gestured that it was time to go once again. He’d pulled his face mask down to take pictures so you could tell he was really smiling this time. Pulling you along, he was sure to put you in the middle of the group so that there was no possible way of you getting lost.

And if he still felt he needed to be connected to you in some way, well who were you to deny the ferret? He was just looking out for his member, that was all. They were prone to getting lost, it had happened before, he just didn’t want to deal with the aftermath like that again.

It wasn’t good for his heart. Don’t do it again, please.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Yeah, you just didn’t understand how people could say that Hyun liked skinship and physical touch. He’s just not that type of person and there have surely been no instances whatsoever in your life as an idol where he had proved you wrong about it.

Absolutely none, and whoever said so was indeed a liar.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Being around Felix was very easy. When it was just the two of you it was a nice and cozy feeling. Nothing ever felt rushed or like you had to try too hard to be near each other, maybe it was because you were both foreigners experiencing the idol life together.

Who knows.

But when you threw in your other members, all the cozy feelings went out of the window and it was like a chaotic mess was left in its place.

And when he had to essentially play a modified version of keep away with you as the main item, well then of course all hell would break loose.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Noona, we have to run!” Felix yelled as he ran back towards you, giant grin on his face. You could just make out his cameraman behind him trying to catch up with the energetic sunshine boy and behind him your other members chased Felix down.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Just like BTS did, Lotte Duty Free allowed Stray Kids to use a floor for the location of the next SKZ CODE. The premise was that while all nine of you were there, only the boys were supposed to find various items that were hidden around the entire floor to recreate the names of their songs.

Once it got presented to the manager-nim in charge of the game or specific staff members, the others could no longer use that same item. You, on the other hand, were supposed to be Ghost, a wild card that made up one song entirely. Technically you could be whatever song you wanted but the points were just doubled if they had you on their roster at the end of the 3 hour mark. Just like the staff members playing, you also were to run around except your goal was to not get caught. Because of that, you had to be turned in last.

Each guy had been given specific color cloths to tie around your wrist to “claim” you as their point. Only one person could claim you at a time and stealing items from each other had been allowed. So, say you got caught by someone with a black cloth, if you had a green one on when they did, they could remove it and put their color on instead. The only rule to claim you as a point was that you had to be brought to the main manager at the end when time was called to count.

Each of your cameramen had been given a walkie-talkie so that everyone could know if and when their cloths were removed or the time remaining. You had been given a 15 minute head start to run around and hide, your own cameraman following behind you.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Time had been close to being called, about ten minutes left you had heard on the radio. You’d been caught a few times only to be able to escape not long afterwards. Changbin had found you first, securing a cute pink cloth around your wrist. Lee Know found you afterwards, purple cloth replacing the pink. It would be a long time until Innie’s white cloth replaced Lee Know’s.

Hyunjin and Chan had found you together but you managed to escape both of them before either could swap your color out. While running from them, you had made eye contact with Seungmin but were able to evade him when you ran into a darkened area. That was where you subsequently ran into Felix and scared the absolute shit out of each other.

Now the two of you listened on as your cameraman, Seoyul, announced that you now adorned the yellow team cloth. All four of you walked calmly to where the manager-nim was.

“I’m getting nervous Lix,” you said, trying to contain your energy, adrenaline kicked in your system as the game was coming to an end.

“Why?” the same giddy energy flowed out of him since he was close to winning.

“It’s quiet, too quiet. You don’t think something could go wrong?”

“Why would you jinx it!?” he shouted in exasperation, not realizing how loud he actually was. All of you paused in motion, listening to figure out if any of the others heard you. Your eyes the only thing rapidly moving to scan your surroundings as the both of you stood frozen. When nothing happened, you two continued on until you reached where the manager was supposed to be waiting.

But if video games had taught either of you a thing or two, it was what a trap would feel like.

“Ok, you wait here, and I’m gonna go check if the coast is clear. I promise, I won’t let them come near you got it?,” he whispered as you nod along to what he said.

He snuck on ahead, his cameraman trailing behind him as you stood there, waiting for his return. Not even five seconds later he came bounding round the corner at full speed, laughing maniacally.

“Noona, we have to run!” Felix yelled as he ran back towards you, giant grin on his face. You could just make out his cameraman behind him trying to catch up with the energetic boy and behind him your other members chased Felix down.

He didn’t stop as he grabbed your hand in his and took off in the opposite direction. You could just make out the others yelling for the both of you over yours and Felix’s laughter.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Felix had made sure that he kept a steady grip on your hand while running away. Never once pulling you too hard or running too fast for you to keep up. If both of you were hiding, he’d urge you forward first gently and then covered you so you couldn’t be seen.

“Noona, get down here,” he said as he made his way to hide in a department store behind a rack of clothing near the entrance. Huddling close, he gestured with his finger to keep quiet. You do as he said, grin still in place as you looked at each other, the pounding footsteps of the others not that far behind.

“They turned in here,” I.N could be heard saying close to where you were hidden.

“No, they went this way,” Changbin argued a distance away.

“I think Innie is right,” Seungmin put his two cents in.

“Let’s just split up,” Chan butted in democratically. “Half go in here with I.N and the others can follow Binnie. We don’t have a lot of time left.”

Miraculously, they all agreed and you could hear them split off.

“You sure they went this way?” you heard Chan ask.

“Like 75%...?” I.N responded.

“75%??” Seungmin shouted in response.

Felix grabbed your attention by taking a hold of your hand and gestured with his head to follow him. Quietly, the two of you scooted around the rack just as the group of boys walked by. When it seemed like the right time, you and Felix took off, his foot kicking something and alerted the others of your fleeing forms.

“Let’s go, Noona!”

“There they go!”

“After them!”

“See, I told you they came in here!”

The excitement and elation was clear in their tone of voice. You and Felix ran and screamed hand in hand to the safe zone. At one point, he had to let go to let you run by yourself so he could distract the others. Just as you made it, out of breath, Felix toppled in and crashed into you. Stummbling forward into the room, Felix could be heard yelling loudly, “I did it! I brought her in! I win!”

Groans from behind you was the response. You couldn’t help the cheesy grin on your face or the boisterous laugh that escaped you.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It’s true being with Felix was easy.

But when he’s trying to protect you from the others he’s lively and was contagious for everyone involved. That’s just how your little jellybean was.

a/n. © hippopotamusdreamer, est 2024. all rights reserved.

Tag list:

@elizalabs3

[1dcommunityficrecs]

Long Distance Fic Recs

I didn't know this would happen when I picked this theme, but my fiancée spent the last week away at her sister's -- celebrating a new nibling! So an exciting time, but I definitely missed her, even for only a few days. So really feeling this list of long distance recs, loving each other despite the miles and yearning to be reuinited. Here are seven amazing fics!

Baby, I'm Right Here by FallingLikeThis/suddenclarityharry (8186, Explicit, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles) – fic post

Leave it to Harry to not realize he's in love with his friend until they're living in different hemispheres. It takes a date with a lovely guy who just isn't HIS lovely guy for Louis to finally say what they've both been thinking.

Reccer says: I love their easy back and forth banter and the comfortable solidness of their friendship. And when that transitions into romance -- beautiful. I'm always a fan of a meddling Niall, too, even if he's meddling in a different way than usual here!

Danger I can’t hide by CelticSky (227290, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Flying Officer Styles and Sergeant Tomlinson would have likely never crossed paths in a time of peace, their lives laid out neatly, predictably before them. But then the world became unrecognisable. Too soon they grew accustomed to fear, surrounded by death and destruction, not even their freedom a certainty any more. Until they found eachother. Comfort. Companionship. Understanding. Another person to lose.

Reccer says: In my opinion, this fic is the masterpiece of 2023. It's one of those fics that should be a movie. It's perfect. The script is masterful. The story is gripping. The characters are masterfully constructed. There's emotion, anguish. It's beautiful. It's powerful. A gem.

Du är mitt livs kärlek (You are the love of my life) by goldenkinglouis (1749, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry finally meets Louis at the airport after six months of long-distance love.

Reccer says: This fic is so sweet my teeth hurt and I just want more. So adorable and romantic and full of love.

From Eight Until Late, I Think About You by supernope (35227, Explicit, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles)

Louis and Harry are both YouTubers, and if they didn't want all their viewers to ship them they should maybe stop flirting in the comments of each other's videos. They don't live all that far apart in miles, but it still takes almost a year for them to meet in person. When they're paired up as roommates at a YouTube meetup, there is NOT only one bed, but that doesn't stop them.

Reccer says: I always love watching a relationship build and grow, and this fic does it beautifully. From joking comments to texting to Snapchat to meeting up (and promptly making VERY questionable but hysterically funny decisions together) it's just great.

miles away from seeing you by LiveLaughLoveLarry (SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFic) (1749, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry is in his final year studying marine biology, and is doing an international exchange at the University of Auckland. This fic is entirely told through images of social media posts and conversations (Image descriptions are available)

Reccer says: it was the first all-media fic i've read, but i was impressed how the entire story/feelings etc came across in just pictures

seven hours behind by justanothershadeofblue (5000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Harry gets Louis off over the phone during Louis’ first tour.

Reccer says: Really fun slice-of-tour-life fic, and also hot!

the blue never ending sky by justanothershadeofblue (4000, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

a heart-aching AU where Harry and Louis had a dream to go off and make music together after school, but then Harry goes… without Louis. Louis PoV, with an epistolary element.

Reccer says: this fic is simple but perfectly angsty! you don’t see a lot of ambiguous-ending fics in this fandom, but this one nails it.

[guardian-angle22]

Thank you to @heartstringsduet & @liminalmemories21 for tagging me in a revival of Fic Rec Friday! I wasn't sure what fics to pick for this one so I went through my history on AO3 and here are all of the completed 911LS fics that I read (or re-read) in the month of May!! (if I also added the WIPs or the fics from other fandoms we'd be here all night so I narrowed it down 😅)

◆ Meet me in the afterglow by @mi1kc0ffee (Words: 2.9K; Rating: E)

So maybe Carlos is just a bit upset that his new boyfriend isn’t into cuddling after sex. Or, TK experiences aftercare for the first time.

◆ The Shadow of You by @littlemissmarianna (Words: 798; Rating: G; TW: discussion of grief & canon character death)

TK should be safe in the grocery store, and yet, Carlos feels himself begin to panic when aisle after aisle turns up empty. The cans and boxes are in perfect rows on each shelf, and the strangers seem friendly enough when Carlos passes by them…but TK has vanished.

◆ Hold me too close by @paperstorm (Words: 1.8K; Rating: T; TW: discussion of grief & canon character death)

“Hey, baby,” TK whispers, soft enough that were they a few inches further apart Carlos might not be able to hear him. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you cry.” Carlos’s lips curve into a small responding smile and he shakes his head. “It’s okay.” He tilts his chin forward, asking for a kiss, that TK gives him readily because he thinks it would hurt like having a limb ripped off if he didn’t. Carlos’s lips are smooth and damp against his, wet with the salt from his tears. “Wanna go for a walk?” TK asks when they part, and Carlos quickly nods. - A small extension of the scene after Tommy sings at their wedding.

◆ Five fingers on each hand by @sloganeeer (Words: 323; Rating: G)

Carlos didn’t put a shirt on last night, after, and TK gets to rubs his palm over the short curls of Carlos’s chest hair. “You wanna?” he asks. - Or, TK wakes up with his husband.

◆ love in a series of bursts and inches by @lemonlyman-dotcom (Words: 35K; Rating: G)

It’s Eid 2024 and Tarlos is preparing to host Marjan and her parents for a celebratory dinner at the loft, where they will be meeting Joe for the first time. Over the night before and morning of Eid, both TK and Marjan reflect on the past four years in Austin, and the Eids they’ve spent together building a bond as found family.

◆ breathing deeper than i've ever done by @your-catfish-friend (Words: 4.6K; Rating: E; sweat/scent kink)

Carlos smells good, and TK has feelings about it.

◆ Silence and Gloom by @wandering-night19 (Words: 13K; Rating: T; TW: PTSD, physical abuse, aftermath of torture & violence)

Carlos is fine. So he wishes TK would stop looking at him with those wide, green eyes like he's something fragile that might shatter at any moment. He's fine.

◆ all is not lost by @strandnreyes (Words: 14K; Rating: M; TW: brief discussion of grief & canon character death)

As they tear through the loft, Carlos gets flashbacks to when he had to do the same for a lost lizard. Twice. Except this time it’s not a reptile, but a very expensive engagement ring that doesn’t even belong to them. They flip cushions and roll rugs and dig through the dishes filled with pretzels or chocolate covered almonds, but even after their home looks like a tornado ripped through it, they’re still empty handed. TK slumps down on the living room floor after a last ditch effort to look under the couch, staring up at Carlos with wide, horrified eyes. “The ring is gone,” he mutters, and all Carlos can do is swallow past his dry throat and nod. Or, a tale of three lost rings

◆ The Rest of the World Was Black and White (But We Were in Screaming Color) by reyestrand (Words: 9K; Rating: T)

TK Strand doesn’t like the world he lives in. The best part of his day is at night when he closes his eyes so he can’t see anything, and the worst part is in the morning when he has to open them again - open them back up to a world that lacks in beauty. He wakes up and everything is just gray. All there is are shades that are making him numb every day that passes without meeting the one person who will bring color into his world. - A soulmates AU where the world is seen in black and white until soulmates share their first kiss

◆ Thirst Trap Thursday by @chicgeekgirl89 (Words: 40K; Rating: M)

When Carlos accidentally sends a sexy picture to a random stranger he apologizes and vows never to text again. But when T.K. Strand receives that picture, he can't help but start texting back. It starts with a thirst trap. It ends with love.

◆ You Keep Coming Back With a Bird In Your Teeth by vaguenotion (Words: 133K; Rating: T; TW: kidnapping, stalking, violence, non-consensual touching)

When a gesture of goodwill is misinterpreted, a patient begins to develop a dangerous attachment to TK. The whole point of the job is to save patients, not to have to be saved FROM them.

◆ The Greatest Gift I’ve Found, The Sweetest Thing I’ve Known by @lemonlyman-dotcom (Words: 7.3K; Rating: E)

“You know, there’s a lot of things to adore about TK. But do you know the thing we love the most about him?” He makes a questioning noise. She points a finger into the dimple in his cheek. “This.” He furrows his brow in question. “Oh, I’ve known you for thirty years, niñito.” He bites back his quip about how he’s not 30 yet, wanting to know where she’s going with this. “But I’ve never seen that smile, not until about four years ago.” “When I met TK.” “When you met TK.” She nods. “We all knew something was different. Even if it took you a while to work up the courage to bring him around. You seemed so light, so happy. We knew something had happened.” He looks over to where TK is chatting away with his abuelita. “He’s a special person,” Carlos says. “He is, but honey. So are you,” Lucy grips his bicep softly. “We love you, Carlitos, and I’m sorry that we ever made you feel like you had to hide any of your specialness from us.” --- Nochebuena at the Reyes house. It's Tarlos's first Christmas as husbands, and the family's first without Gabriel.

[minhyebindery]

This was my first time binding an incredibly long fic, Descent into Perdition by @dreamsofspike-blog. This is one fic separated into 4 volumes. I sent this off to a mutual friend because I wanted to practice this bind before trying again with the final copy. For the repeat of this fic I am definitely going to split this into 5 volumes which I think will make it a little more manageable.

I learnt a lot from this run, volume 4 ending up the best but the others aren't too bad. It's easy for me to focus on the imperfections, especially after all the time I spend looking at them and I do want them to be perfect. However, I think I have to focus on the good things and be proud of how far I have come in my book binding journey.

For those in the Good Omens fandom I matched each volume to associated colours for each of the characters. Blue for Aziraphale and then black (for those who have read the fic you'll know why), purple for Gabriel and red for Crowley. The symbols on the front of the book match certain items or themes within the book.

I love being able to wrap the packages ready to send off to the recipient and add little personal touches here and there. I hope it brings a smile to my friend's face when they get to open each package.

I've just ordered a finishing press from Affordable Binding Equipment, I can't wait to get it so I can properly round and back the books. I've been using two wooden planks with some clamps and I just haven't been able to achieve the tension I need to round and back properly.

A few notes for future me:

Don't glue the spines if you aren't going to back them until later (much later) it makes it a lot harder -> hairdryers are your friend

Glue your endpapers closer to the end of the board otherwise you end up with that gap

If trimming the ends take into account that the board will then be shorter

Sometimes you make mistakes...make sure you have enough materials to redo bits and pieces

I think these volumes could've benefited from zigzag endpapers but maybe that is something to add next time

(I did fix the purple headband as I noticed it was lifting a little)

[sitp-recs]

Hello! I saw your last rec for Draco being whipped for Harry. Would you have any recs for the reverse situation? Harry being absolutely smitten for Draco. I love when it's mostly from Harry POV and Draco is driving him mad. Does anything come to mind? Thank you for your lovely recs and your presence in the fandom, it's a blessing! 💜

Yes of course! I feel like I did quite a few lists for pining Harry so this one will focus on smitten Harry told from his own pov. I tried to mix old favorites with fics I don’t see recced often. I’d highly recommend checking @tackytigerfic, @bixgirl1 and ignatiustrout as they all explore this trope so beautifully!

Take A Stab At It by @sorrybutblog (E, 3k)

It’s a bit pathetic, Harry knows, to have a hard-on for the guy who bullied you in school. Kind of cliché to look back on years of obsession and hatred and think, Oh.

Hourglass Heart by bixgirl1 (E, 5k)

It only happened once — depending on how Harry counted.

Blue Sky Is Living Here Today by ignatiustrout (G, 5k)

Draco's a father, Harry's in love with him, and it's really hard to take things slow.

The Things They Never Say by bixgirl1 (E, 9k)

Harry and Draco don't know how to talk. So they do other things instead.

Sex Ed for Aurors by curiouslyfic (M, 9k)

Some things, you need to learn on the job.

i wake up falling, orphaned (M, 9k)

Draco’s always leaving, one way or another. Harry’s usually 240 thousand miles too late.

Poppiholla by @moonflower-rose (M, 12k)

Harry had accepted that he would pine silently for Malfoy forever, but one, humid summer might change that.

Take the Moon by tackytiger (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. It's just a shame they’d always planned to break up after a year…

White as Snow by bixgirl1 (E, 19k)

After a quick escape from danger, Harry and Draco find themselves trapped in a blizzard, a small cabin their only refuge from the storm. It's the perfect place to recover and regroup — and to have a long-overdue conversation or two.

We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by @wellhalesbells (T, 21k)

Harry finds something he’s been looking for since the war’s end. Admittedly, the packaging’s a bit odder than he expected.

With Great Yawns and Stretchings by sugar_screw (T, 22k)

The coffee is very good. Really. And the cats are so cute. That's why Harry goes so often.

On Your Shore by @xanthippe74 (M, 35k)

Clearing out a remote house full of cursed collectibles in the Outer Hebrides? Not a problem for an experienced curse breaker like Harry Potter. Spending a week with the straight, happily-married man that he’s starting to have feelings for? And sharing a bed with him at night? Surely Harry can handle that, too.

LA, Who Am I To Love You? by @epitomereally (E, 42k)

Harry’s summer in LA is not going as expected. Pansy Parkinson keeps inviting him to parties in the Hollywood Hills and harassing him to finally go to the physical therapist, Blaise Zabini keeps slipping new strains of his company’s magical weed into Harry’s pockets in hopes of an endorsement, and Draco Malfoy keeps having sex with everyone but Harry.

Here's The Pencil, Make It Work by ignatiustrout (M, 49k)

Harry thinks "Why is Malfoy working in a coffee shop in muggle London?" is a much simpler question than, "Are you going to accept that auror offer and, if you don't, what will you do?"

Modern Love by tackytiger (E, 61k)

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

Azoth by @lol-zeitgeistic (E, 88k)

Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait?

What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym (M, 131k)

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

Can't Sit Still by wilteddaisy (E, 193k)

Five years after the war, Harry finds himself drawn to Draco Malfoy by memories that aren't his own.

[olderthannetfic]

When there was an anon about "To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods" a few months ago (or so?), I got curious and looked at the Goodreads reviews linked and at other reviews and the description.

Haven't looked at them this "round" of the asks regarding it, but IIRC I got the impression that it may originally have been a fanfic that had its names and some details altered to be published as an original work because IIRC some reviewers said there was little exposition as if one were already knowledgeable about stuff like the characters and world setting. Of course, I may also be (and most probably am) absolutely incorrect in this assumption.

The "mob" of angry reviewers also kinda gave me the impression that they may have been a friend group (based on their very similar phrasing and vocabulary and accusations, which may still also just be coincidental) who disliked the author for fannish reasons or something else and decided to take their (fannish?) dislike to the published literary world with the author's first publication... but again, I may just be wildly misinterpreting things and may have read their reviews in bad faith.

Regardless of whether or not the book is a "colonizer romance" or badly written or even disrespectful or tasteless or something else, I feel sorry for the author...

--

I wouldn't assume this. Usually, when het fics get the serial numbers filed, they're from one of the big het ships with a whole culture of doing this and it's all very open and liked by the fans. Some review would say which ship at the very least if not what the original title was.

However, I would absolutely assume that a book that reads like fic is by an author whose past experience writing is mostly with fic and who reads a lot of fic.

I also have the impression that some authors in the romantasy space are people who like sff settings on TV but don't have a lot of practical experience in how one establishes sff world building in a novel. They may have cool ideas, and these ideas may show up by the end of a book or later in a series, but the beginning doesn't have much flavor. Someone coming from a more book sff background would probably either explain more up front or whet people's appetites to understand the sff elements by giving a lot more sense of the setting. (But they might fall down on the romance aspects.)

There are also plenty of cliques in booktok, booktube, book twitter, etc., so a group of angry reviewers could be coming from somewhere like that and not from fandom beef.

It's also possible that the reviewers all sound the same because they read/watch the same book influencers who talk a certain way rather than because the reviewers are friends with each other.

Very likely, you're picking up the vibes accurately. I just think there are some other possible reasons for these vibes.

--

Poking around goodreads reveals a bunch of Corrain drama spillover. Search 'corrain', 'youtube', 'reylo', etc. for the reviews that give a sense of where samey-sounding people might be coming there from.

It's very clear that many reviewers heard all about the book long before they read it.

[lotusarchon]

hey hey, i would like to ask a question out of curiosity (and im sorry if i sound offensive; im not skilled in the department of wording and communication) the 'mischaracterization' thing; would u tell me more of why u dislike it very much, and give examples of it for better understanding?

Nah dude it's fine, I don't find you offensive one bit. I am surprised with the question but I'll try to word myself as much as I possibly can.

Also, full disclaimer; I am a fanfic writer, and I understand wanting to give a character more/a better personality and backstory, to give more room what the show writers didn't do. I do the same as well; my famous example is Sakura Haruno and giving her more personality than just a girl obsessed with boys. So, I'm aware people may try to give a character better personalities for whatever reason.

BUT.

There's a limit to how much I can take with it, and the LMK fandom really do take it too far. I'm in a bunch of fandoms, and I'm using Jujutsu Kaisen as an example with how writers tend to write Sukuna especially for shipping with OCs/Readers. Do you wanna know why I'm okay with it though, in JJK?

Because they at least know their fave is horrible. I'm not saying the fandom is good, but at least the few I've read from do in fact get the characters right and don't stereotype them, and if they do, they KNOW their faves are pieces of shits. They just don't care and anyways, it's a fanfic. They aren't gonna go bash people for disagreeing with them (from my experience. And if the JJK fandom has it, idc still, they're better than most of y'all here)

In LMK, it's so, so bad. The mischaracterization doesn't just stay as that. It's become the literal fanon vs canon thing because that's what the fans do. In every fanfic, fanart, ANYTHING related to the characters in the fandom, they stereotype and dumb down every single fucking one. I used to read fics and I've had to stop because of how disgusted I am. It's literally just "they would NOT be like that", but ah, god forbid you try to tell that to this fandom, because if you try you're a proshipper, homophobe/transphobe or racist.

I have a good few examples too, but my most popular ones are;

Fanon Wukong: A bad guy that abandoned MK, abused his 'best friend', just a sexy, hot monkey with grr possessive alpha traits. And, oh yeah! He's so stupid, he can't even read because he's just a big guy with ex issues and nothing else.

Fanon Macaque: A victim who was only trying to get his best/boy friend back. He definitely loves MK as a kid and is a better parent than Wukong. Ignore the fact he never once took blame for the trauma he put MK through as well, he's a victim and a little baby/daddy who just wants love. He's completely misunderstood guys.

Fanon MK: Personality? What personality? He's Red Son's and/or Mei little boyfriend who is just a baby obsessed with fucking and can't think of anything else. He's traumatized so, so badly and is just a poor little baby who's only source of comfort is Macaque because Macaque understands him more, definitely. He's dumb or maybe too smart for his own good but that's okay, there's always someone else to help him.

Fanon Tripitaka: An abusive cunt. Need I say more?

Fanon Nezha: Oh dear, guys he's just a grumpy baby guys, he's a grumpy lil baby, definitely not an adult stressed and exhausted, nah. He's a baby.

See where I'm getting at? Nine times out of ten you check a fanfic in this fandom regardless of the pairing or the plot, these are the kind of traits you see in these characters. There's nothing else but them dumbed down to being morons.

Nevermind that Sun Wukong is actually smart and most definitely has trouble reading modern writing, nevermind that Macaque has never owned up to his actions even when he played a part in hurting MK, nevermind that MK isn't just some sex obsessed baby and has problems and is a grown ass adult who needs therapy, nevermind that Tripitaka of all people only dared used the circlet because Wukong was hard to handle, NEVERMIND that Nezha, a centuries old god with different tales around him isn't someone who's just grumpy much less a child and has problems of his own.

Fans just simply won't look past anything but the fanon version of them. You try to explain that Macaque was a bad guy and redemption arc feels rushed and you're a bad person, or who cares he's hot right? You try to explain that Wukong isn't some illiterate asshole and is trying his best to adapt and be there for MK, because you're just a Macaque hater and also who cares, right? He's sexy and he can fuck Macaque, so who cares for personality, right?

Don't get me wrong. I'm used to this shit because again, look at Jujutsu Kaisen. But my god the LMK fans are so fucking annoyed and obsessed, they refuse to even see that these characters are more than just a single personality trait.

And that's just dealing with canon characters alone, don't get me started on how they react to ocs smh.

The LMK fandom is bad, bad. Nuclear level bad, even. It's a toxic wasteland of morons who have never really understood media literacy and instead simply cares for the appearances of how characters look rather than focusing on what makes them who they are.

But again, what good does it even do to complain right? I'm just some guy on the internet completely irked by the lack of braincells this fandom has. The most I can actively do is block the tags related to this fandom and focus on me. If I need fanfics, I'll write my own, that's all.

But, i will say, if there's a day this fandom actually sees characters as more than sex appeal, it's the day I suck a dick. Pardon my language but that's legit the only way I can phrase it as an aroace person. Y'all are so hazardous you make the 2020 MHA fandom look sooooo much better.

It's not a compliment. Be better. You're fans of a children based show, and coming from an author who writes mainly NSFW stuff for LMK on AO3, it's disappointing.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

She's The Skeleton In My Closet (Mia Winters/Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil/Resident Lover

Genre: fluff? and whatever is a step down from smut

Rating: T? not quite horny enough for M.

Warnings: Brief, non-descriptive mentions of death/bloodshed, and relatively minor choking in a sexual context (it's more of a hand position than actual choking). Reader is referred to as a girl once by a side character.

Summary: It's the end of another loop, and Mia allows herself to get closer to you... through a game of Seven Minutes In Heaven.

Notes: Inspired by two pieces of art by @vivi-ness, specifically this and this. If you want to skip to the part of this fic that actually takes place in the closet (aka the making out part), start reading after the second section break -----. I did not mean for the lead-up to be as long as it ended up being. Also might make a part 2 with actual smut?

Alone. Curled up with the brazen darkness wrapped around her like a blanket, Mia’s eyes straining, as she glanced over her notes by candlelight. Less than thirty feet away raged a party fit to shake the heavens. As with every semester, the Umbrella Sorority felt inclined to celebrate the end of exams. Blaring music, countless games on rotation, enough booze to drown the world (or set it all ablaze). Even the theatre kids know to defer to the sorority for this evening. Normally, Mia would not hesitate to join in, downing shots of whiskey and kicking ass at every other game, all the while keeping keen eyes on interesting people.

Ah, but not tonight. Not with the reset looming in the distance, date preselected. Another loop on death row. There was plenty of work to be done, mostly preparations for the ritual, but Mia’s focus was on… other matters. Scanning through old tomes, searching for something that may prove useful in the next rotation. Maybe not enough to finally end the cycle, no, of course not, just something to influence it. Push it in the right direction, despite Miranda’s many protests regarding “interference”.

But there’s a knock on the door, and Mia pauses, unsure if it was simply the bass speakers thumping the walls again. A beat passes before the knock repeats, louder this time. Off-tempo. Quickly, she places her journal aside without marking her place (she remembers, of course, that it is page 28), then blows out the candles. Even as the darkness swallows the last sanctuary of light, her movements are smooth, flowing. In one motion she flips the light switch and unlatches the door.

“What’s up?” She asks, sickly sweet and every bit faking it, staring down at the unexpected visitor. They’re a sophomore, she thinks, a small woman whose name starts with an A. Or an E, maybe. Most loops have her just barely in Mia’s peripheral, sharing a single class but never really interacting. Definitely not the person she would have wanted to come knocking at her door. Only a brief moment passes before the woman replies, her gaze briefly (and unsubtly) scanning the room, voice filled with the unironic enthusiasm that made her grate on Mia’s nerves.

“Well, we’re one person short for 7 Minutes in Heaven- we had enough people, technically, but a few left after Cassandra got picked early, you know how it is- and so I was wondering if you’d join? It’s so weird not having you at the party, anyway, really feels like we’re missing an integral piece of the vibe, you know?” Alissa (if that was her name) says, offering a lopsided smile. Faint pink dusts her freckled cheeks, only some of it being makeup. One of her hands starts to reach for Mia, to rest a flirtatious hand against her shoulder, but the flash of something darker in her expression makes Alissa pull back.

“Oh, I would love to play, but technically my exams aren’t finished,” Mia answers, sporting a half-assed pout, dragging the words out. She lets her tongue click on the t in technically for emphasis. It’s not the best excuse, especially considering Elise (or whatever her name is) also still has one final left. All because the student council took one day too long to remind a certain professor that he couldn’t force students to complete a ritual as part of their exam. Not that Mia would have minded a little school-sanctioned bloodplay, especially since she knows (from experience) that the ritual Dr. Wesker had in mind wouldn’t work.

“C’mon, Mia, we both know you don’t need to study for our Occult Sciences class; you could probably teach it at this point!” Anna (Áine?) chimes, grinning wide, blissfully unaware of the true accuracy of her statement. Mia could teach the class, far better than the actual professor, although at that point it would be considerably harder to keep the university’s secrets. But that doesn’t mean she has any interest in joining the party.

Her reluctance must show, because the shorter woman (whose name may or may not be Enya) squints, lips pursing before she abruptly straightens up and switches tactics.

“Besides… your favorite person is playing,” she adds, leaning in to stage-whisper, glancing down the hallway as if checking for eavesdroppers. Despite the confidence in her voice, Mia stares at her blankly. As much as she definitely has a favorite, the one her very soul is bound to, she finds it unlikely that Eliza would know… right? It’s not like they’ve even spent that much time together this loop. Surely she’d been able to keep her cards close to her chest; it’s not like Eliza was terribly observant anyway. Unfortunately for Mia, her thoughts get cut off by another high-pitched exclamation. “Don’t play dumb, Mia! The girl with one earring, roommates with Angie and the youngest Dimitrescu?”

Well. Fuck. So much for being subtle…

-----

Turning down Anamaria (no, not that one, the other one) became impossible the second Mia’s eyes lit up, all at the mere mention of you. Within a minute she had relented, murmuring a few choice words under her breath, allowing herself to be all but dragged to a crowded living room. It takes all of her willpower to maintain a guise of boredom, lips drawn tight as she scanned the partygoers for familiar faces. A slight tension formed in her chest as she intentionally avoided looking at the center of the room, having caught a glimpse of familiar clothing, saving the sight for last. 

Caldwell is by the back corner, playing some complicated boardgame with a mildly enthused Stanley (and a confused but nonetheless supportive Jasmin), positioned where they can keep an eye out for trouble. All three of the Stans could be found hovering by the alcohol, debating whether to leave now or wait for Cassandra to inevitably grab a refill. Somehow Anamaria (yes, that one) was half asleep, tuckered out from one too many party games, curled up against a blushing Livia. Both were chatting with Angie, who was perched precariously on the back of the couch. The only thing keeping the short girl from falling off was a hand clutching one of her belt loops, pulling as necessary to rebalance her.

As Mia’s eyes traced the hand to its owner, she inhaled sharply, the slightest flare to her nostrils. There you are. Eyes crinkled at the edges while you laugh at one of Daniela’s jokes, the sound barely audible past the music, your mouth open in a genuine, shameless grin. Mia allows herself a single moment to admire the view. Luck plays a trick on her then, your gaze suddenly shifting to her, eyes widening when you meet her stare. Immediately you look away, warmth in your face contrasting the way your shoulders tense.

If Mia hadn’t torn her gaze away, flinching like she got burned, she would have seen the way your friends reacted, the way they jumped at the opportunity to tease you. Instead, she lets herself get tugged over to a spare chair by the woman hosting the game.

“Damn, Iris, I didn’t think you’d actually convince Mia to play,” Nicoletta says, trailing her eyes up and down Mia, appreciatively, before turning to the one who had dragged her here. Guess her name doesn’t start with an A or an E after all, Mia thinks, before shrugging off the attention. None of these people know her terribly well, beyond reputation, and she can’t be bothered to unpack why they wanted her here.

“I mean, I kind of had to, with how hard Iris was begging me,” Mia says, pointedly ignoring their gazes in favor of inspecting her nails (short, smoothed over, no polish today). Protests stream from next to her, while a few chuckles rise up around the room. A smirk crosses her lips as she makes eye contact with Iris. Before the woman can explain that Mia only agreed because you’re playing, she speaks up again, propping her feet up on the coffee table as she does. “So, are we drawing names from a hat or what?”

“Close, half of us already put a trinket or whatever in the bag. Anyone who didn’t put one in gets to draw one at some point,” Iris explains, eager to move past the embarrassment from Mia’s lie. “Since you had to be… convinced, you can go ahead and be the one to draw next. Once the lovebirds in the closet are done, that is!”

Nodding, Mia withdrew into herself again, content to sit in silence until her turn. Why had she agreed to this, exactly?... It’s not as if she’s ideologically opposed to party games, but she’d always been more of a fan of the ones that involve drinking. Maybe spin-the-bottle, if she was in the mood for it. But Seven Minutes In Heaven? Too time-consuming, and absolute torture if one got stuck with the wrong partner. What were the odds she’d even get paired up with you? Was that even what she wanted?

Something about this particular loop was messing with her head. Every other one so far involved you falling in love with somebody, even if it ended poorly. But this time?... She had been sure you’d end up with Daniela or Angie, with the way you pushed studies aside for parties, never officially joining the sorority but being a frequent guest at their dorm. Living it up, only getting serious when you helped break Daniela’s curse (not because you loved her, but because you love her, the same way you pour your heart into loving all of your friends).

That’s why the reset was looming overhead, of course. Your faith in Miranda lay shattered, if it had ever existed in the first place, your distrust a crime she considered worthy of oblivion. Any life where you would not love her was, to Miranda, a life unfit to continue.

Mia gets pulled out of her thoughts by a door opening, old hinges squawking in protest. Two flustered women readjust their clothing as they exit the closet, both sporting bright red cheeks, utterly oblivious to the fact that they had swapped shirts. Naturally, they are not allowed to remain ignorant for long, a chorus forming of drunken cheers and teasing remarks. Not everyone focuses on the couple, however, and Mia feels the weight of someone’s gaze on her.

Once more she looks to you, just in time for you to look away, although this time she notices something odd: You aren’t wearing your earring. How interesting. Suddenly she finds herself itching to take her turn, but she suppresses her thirst, not wanting to earn any gentle ribbing from the others. Another minute passes before the paper bag actually gets passed to her, Iris winking as their fingers brush up against each other. Maintaining eye contact, Mia reaches into the bag, offering a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes.

There are still five or six items inside, some of them in familiar shapes. A watch with a cracked face, one of those tiny skateboards (a Tech Deck, maybe?), a basic bracelet… None of them interest her, but it only takes another second for her to grasp her target, the cool surface smooth under her touch. Carefully, she retrieves it, ensuring the earring doesn’t snag on any of the other items.

With a triumphant smirk, she holds it up in the light. Although disappointment shows in Iris’ face, Mia can’t help but notice the way Daniela nudges your side with a knowing grin. Even Angie turns to whisper something in your ear, almost tumbling off the couch with how hard she laughs at the instant flush to your face, exasperation clear in your posture. Nonetheless, you rise on shaky legs, not meeting Mia’s gaze as the two of you move towards the unoccupied closet…

-----

“Have fun in there! Seven minutes starts when the door closes,” Iris chimes, having readopted her mask of overexcited joy, all but pushing you in after Mia. There’s a sharp click right after, the door settling into place. Another click, softer, and the small space becomes sparsely illuminated. You blink a few times to adjust to the dim lighting, glancing up in time to see Mia… on her phone? Before you can question her, she taps a button and sets it down on one of the shelves behind her, and you catch a glimpse of a timer on the screen.

“Six and a half minutes,” she says, as if that was all the explanation needed. Then she’s leaning forward, expression blank, hands reaching out to-... put your earring back where it belongs. It’s an oddly intimate experience, feeling out of place in a game that focused on a different kind of intimacy. If only it lasted longer than a few moments. Once she pulls away, there’s a noticeable flush to her cheeks. “Wouldn’t want anyone to catch us in a compromising position, right?”

Despite her words, Mia makes no further moves to touch you. One hand fiddles with the hem of her jacket, the other tucks her own hair behind her ear, the movement awkward in the cramped space. It’s easy enough to mistake her countenance for a kind of nervousness. Playing wasn’t her idea, after all, and you feel a twinge of guilt for being so excited about getting paired with her. Could she tell? Was she worried by the thundering of your heart, by the warmth of your presence?

Internally, however, Mia is struck with the sudden urge for her favorite brand of intimacy: Violence. Of the last eighteen times she was this close to you, with your breath just barely ghosting her skin, sixteen of those meetings had ended with homicide, attempted or otherwise. Gods, it was her curse, to only know your touch when she initiated it with heavy hands. To be so well acquainted with the feeling of your blood on her skin that it has become more familiar than her own. When was she last able to touch you without the many promises of pain? Can she even trust herself to love without consuming?

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, I know you probably weren’t planning on this tonight,” you say, softly, offering a weak smile. Now you’re the nervous one, rubbing your arm as if the sensation might smooth out your anxiety. It’s not until you feel Mia lean the slightest bit forward that you dare to meet her gaze. Something haunts her expression, lying beneath the flushed cheeks and hooded eyes. Before you can even blink, she’s brought her hand back up, cupping your chin and making sure your gaze never leaves hers.

“And if I do want to do something?” Mia whispers. One of her fingers shifts, gently tracing over the front of your throat. If only you knew how excited she got by the feeling of your heart racing beneath her fingertips. In contrast, she is all the more aware of the way your breath hitches at her touch. The way you look up at her with dilated pupils makes her every bit hungrier. Just one taste, she thinks, eying your lips. How was it fair that in all these loops, she had never once gotten to kiss you? “Tell me you want this. Say it, or I go right now, game be damned.”

She knows it’s not fair to put that pressure on you, to make you choose that very second. But she doesn’t care, not at all, not when she knows you’re already on the brink of giving in.

“Please, Mia,” you say, voice almost whiny from sudden need, a hand moving to clutch her jacket. More words get stuck in your throat, a part of your mind still keenly aware of how swiftly the mood has changed. Had Mia ever been nervous? Maybe, maybe just not the way you had interpreted her to be. No traces of hesitation can be found in her expression as she slides her hand lower, fingers resting on either side of your neck, only enough pressure for you to really feel her. A silent urging for you to spill the rest of your plea. “I want you.” You swallow hard, trapped by her touch, yet desperate for more. “I want this. Please. Please kiss me.”

In an instant she’s pulled you forward, lips crashing against yours; her hand on your throat is the anchor tying her to you. All other thoughts are crushed under the weight of her messy embrace. There’s just her. Instinct drives your movements, all of the desire that had built up this semester coalescing into a kiss, into the way your hand ends up fisted in her hair, the other sliding beneath her jacket to grasp at her shirt.

Mia’s fingers never tighten around your neck, never put any pressure on your windpipe, yet they still hold power over you. It’s her movement that changes the angle, that deepens the kiss until your lips part for her. You swear you can feel her hunger, the need radiating from her, and yet you have no idea how much she is truly holding back. Every bit of your hunger was matched and exceeded by her.

Your feelings, hidden until now, had gnawed at your heart for half a year. Hers had hounded her for countless loops. The hand on your throat is a warning to herself, arm a barrier to keep her from coming any closer. It’s not enough, her free hand itching to touch and tug, to begin unraveling you. Mia presses the hand to the wall behind you, clenching it into a fist. That might have done the trick… if not for the way you shift a moment later. As soon as your thigh starts to slot between her own, she throws out any sense of caution, giving in to this one chance to be with you.

“So eager for me,” Mia murmurs, having pulled back for just a moment, finally pulling her hand from your neck (you miss it, miss the warmth, miss her guidance). There’s a split second where you think you see love in her eyes- and then your back is flat against the wall, both her hands on your hips, her mouth pressing open kisses along your jaw. A tug encourages you to move your thigh again, letting her seek out that friction she so desperately needs. “So fucking good to me,” she whispers, breath hot against your cheek.

Then she’s practically nipping at your throat, relishing your gasp, only to eagerly soothe the skin with gentle kisses. Something like a growl leaves her as she starts to grind against your thigh, grip on your hips growing tighter. Each moment has the kisses growing more intense again, paired with more soft bites, making it harder and harder to keep yourself from moaning. When her hands start rubbing circles against you, it becomes impossible to stay completely quiet.

Both a blessing and a curse, your sound comes at the same time that Mia’s phone starts to vibrate, signaling the end of your time together. Instantly she’s peeling herself off of you, wiping her mouth with the back of hand, muttering a few swears in between shaky breaths. Following her lead, you try to smooth out your clothing and collect yourself. But that’s much easier said than done, neither of you satisfied at leaving things here, both itching to finish what you started.

“You should stay,” Mia starts to say, shrugging off her jacket. Each word sounds like she has to force it out. “After the party ends. I could… I could use the company.” This time the words come easier, accompanied with a crooked grin, and she doesn’t hesitate to drape her jacket over your shoulders, covering up the marks she definitely left all over your throat. More than that, it’s her way of making sure everyone knows that you’re with her tonight.

The door swings open before you have a chance to respond to her offer. For a moment the light feels blinding, and when you reopen your eyes you see that Mia’s already started walking away, ignoring the reactions of other partygoers. You would be disappointed… but this is the first time you’ve seen her without a jacket, and now you find yourself with a new appreciation for her arms, already picturing yourself getting pinned beneath her. Something to look forward to later tonight, you suppose.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

You know, with how many big fandoms you write for I've noticed a severe lack of peak on this blog. Let's fix that, shall we?

Let's get a BlazBlue edition of the ask of a male S/O wearing a shirt saying he wants his girlfriend to smother him with their breasts. How about with Nine and Litchi?

I agree with you, luckily, some recent asks I've gotten in will certainly help with that.

Also, I highly recommend @nkn0va 's X Reader fics. There is a LOT of real good stuff on there. Especially his Blazblue stuff.

Now! Your Wish Is My Command!

You…

You are a much braver person than I.

That shirt?

Around her?

That is a death sentence.

You are going to be held down by her magic.

You are going to briefly regret every decision in your life that led up to this point.

Then, Nine is going to sit on your chest, tossing her hat away, her eyes glowing and clothes burning away as she smirks.

Your previous thoughts will be forgotten.

All of them will be replaced by the absolute beauty of the woman before you.

Then, Nine is going to use you until you are on the razor's edge of completely losing all consciousness.

When you get to that point, Nine is going to tease you, going to ask why you were so tired.

This is what you wanted wasn’t it?

She wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

At least, until Kokonoe had a sibling…

Or eight.

Litchi would be a mess.

Scandalized, even.

How could you wear something so obscene?

She was going to drag you to the bedroom to give you a piece of her mind and take that shirt off of you!

So what if she put the closed sign up a bit early?

So what if she brought a few water bottles up?

So what if the second she got you alone in the room she was feeling you up?

So what if she had already dropped most of her clothes?

So what if she was pressing her, admittedly, large breasts into your back?

She was still going to be giving you hell for wearing that shirt.

Just… not in a traditional manner.

You are going to be very glad for those couple of water bottles she brought up with her when she decides to give you a five minute break.

[dadvans]

I knew this bucktommy daddy kink thing would be right up your alley and I'm so excited to see what you end up creating (fics, posts, etc.) with it!

“right up your alley” this is the street where i LIVE and own REAL ESTATE. in general the way it came up, the flirting tone of it being silly and tender couched between something heavy is what i really adore about this pairing. and like i said previously, the main fic I’ve been hacking away at for the past two weeks is on both buck and tommy’s relationships with their parents, and the broader dialogue of that scene either matched some of my own dialogue or reinforced it, to which i am THRILLED. i love writing angst and hurt/comfort and am happy going into the hiatus knowing nothing is going to joss this for at least a few months and it feels true and right to buck and tommy as they stand now, and i have a feeling people might really vibe with this when it’s finished the way i’m vibing with it now.

i’m also gonna use this ask as an opportunity to lament that up until last night i’ve been quietly working on some fairly sizable buddie content, and the extremely vocal shippers on here kind of took the wind out of my sails. like, i just don’t want to participate in any section of fandom that comes across so vitriolic and entitled. so, not sure if i’ll put those things on pause, take a break from them, or walk away from them completely. i make the fandom content i make for myself first and foremost, and i’m loving what i’ve made so far and am proud of it, but almost to a degree where i don’t want to share it with an audience like that.

[notallsandmen]

Would you ever write a modern day Dreamling fic that's centred around them playing with smutty historical language? The more ridiculous the better? And because they are who they are, they flip back and forth between thinking it's ridiculous and being sincerely turned on about it all?

Because I never get tired of watching you play with language ❤️

YES. Oh god, yes. In my head, Hob hoards the most recent slang because that has served as a survival mechanism in the past — it ensures that no one starts to question why he uses odd, archaic vernacular, thus raising suspicion.

But that means that 90 % of Hob’s vocabulary has been labelled off-limits. And Hob prides himself on being an excellent dirtytalker in every century, goddamn it! Why shouldn’t he get to show off, a bit?

Dream gladly enables him in this, things escalate, and suddenly they are recreating/retconning the 1889 meeting.

Because by the late 19th century, Hob had mastered it all — prigging, tupping, tipping the velvet, joining giblets, pearly showers, flogging — whether we’re dealing with Arbor vitaes and bawbles, cunnies, ruby-tipped globes or blind cupids, whether fetching mettle by himself, or going off to bedfordshire with a Wagtail or a Gal-Boy, Hob is your man. He owns more spanking chairs than kitchen chairs. I could and will go on.

And then we get into some Victorian terms of endearment — Boop, Bunbury, Lovey, Sweetling, Sugarplum, Treacle, just to mention a few. My own favourite is still Keats’s ”darkling”. Funnily enough, the fandom favourite ”duck” was mainly used as a term of endearment for children, particularly one’s own child (see also ”duckling”). 

[Sidenote — a man who frequents brothels was known as a ”Corinthian”…  (”Corinth” = a brothel)…]

I think Dream would harrumph and grumble about the indignity of such diminutives, but secretly adore it. Morpheus is noted in Season of Mists as "accumulating names to himself as others make friends, but he permits himself few friends." He is given more names in The Sandman than any of the other Endless, far beyond the many translations of Dream. So I chose to interpret that as canonical confirmation that Dream has a praise kink / loves cute nicknames? 😂

Thank you for the ask ❤️

[physalian]

So you’ve got an idea for a story….

Once again and as always, writing is highly subjective and any writing advice that says you *must* do X or all books *must* include Y or doing Z during your writing process is *wrong* kind of misses the point of the freedom of storytelling and I’m not a fan. This is how I approach writing and one way you could consider doing the same if you’ve got all these ideas and nowhere to put them, not the way you must approach writing.

Cool? Cool.

—

We’ll start with how I write fanfic because that’s a far less intimidating market. I don’t write drabble fics and coffee shop AUs. I grew up writing fix-it fics and in-universe canon divergences. Essentially: Stop the real story right here, now what if this happened instead?

Personally, I just don’t get fulfillment from writing fanfic fluff (though I do love reading it). Even if I’m committing time and effort into something that will never make me money and that people might not even read for fun due to dead fandoms or whatever, I’m still going to use it as writing exercise and give it some substance.

That’s just me, though. I used to write stuff like character studies and deep dives, and the last fic I wrote to date was a “hey what if this villain went to the good side way sooner and it wasn’t just played as a joke on his cowardice?” and its sequel.

So I started that first fic with an idea: What if K joined the good guys earlier? How would that impact the story?

Immediately after that, I was thinking about the ending and what tentpole ideas in the canon I wanted to keep, but the meat of the story I knew I wanted to focus on K’s emotional and existential struggle of switching sides, risking becoming an enemy to both factions, after the inciting incident of his (absolutely canonical) partner’s murder, that, in canon, did not get the justice he deserved. When I wrote my post about beginnings and endings, I said that endings for me are way easier than beginnings—this is why. Before I even start writing, my ending is decided.

Basically: Yes, I’m writing a story using someone else’s fictional characters, as one does when writing fanfic. The story uses cartoon characters, but it’s about one person’s struggle with their identity in the wake of tragedy, and how they take life by the horns to make it out of the story the hero they deserve to be recognized as.

And with that core idea in mind, then I write the story around it. The story, which, outside the canon that I had to keep, I had no plan for. The settings and minutiae of the set pieces weren’t as important as what each scene did for the themes and K’s emotional reaction to them happening. I needed to give him enough alone time with the characters of the hero team to learn something from them, enough time on his own to test his new loyalties, and enough time with his old team so he can juxtapose the two and make sure he’s doing the right thing by deserting.

The last thing on my mind was what tropes I wanted to fulfill. Romantic subplots and the like just kind of happened organically and weren’t planned.

—

For Eternal Night of the Northern Sky the idea I had was this: Most vampire stories are about the drama surrounding vampires that depend on humans to survive. So what if I wrote a story where humans depended on vampires to survive, in the exact same way?

Yes, the story is about vampires and everyone can say what they will about people who write vampire fiction. But it’s really about what it means to be a monster when survival demands some brutal decisions. What does it mean to be a monster if everyone is a monster?

ENNS wasn’t planned, I just started writing and had the first draft done in 31 days and through the entire editing process, the plot didn’t change from draft 1 to draft final, save for a few scenes where I had to fix the surface level problem some characters were facing, but not the reason why they were facing it.

The plot never needed massive rewrites because every scene reflected back on the core themes of the story, and every single scene was necessary to tell it. So even when I had to change the intensity of an argument or flesh out a conversation or change the tone of something here or there, the purpose of whatever was underneath remained.

With that throughline in mind, the rest of the book fell into place around it. My core characters each have a role to answer that thematic question, and side characters around then were created to fill in the world, provide friends, relatives, romances, and the like, each with their own perspectives still on that one big question. My villains, too, all exist to answer that question. Outside of the romances, every single scene is doing at least one thing either for the plot, the protagonist, or the deuteragonist to answer that question. ENNS’ secondary themes were also written into as many scenes as I could (of which I won’t spoil here).

When you write with a theme like this in mind, it gives you these sort of bowling bumper rails to help keep you from straying off into superfluous storylines that bog down the pacing and start to feel messy.

Yes, you’re writing fanfic. But what is it really about? Now maybe it is just a coffee shop AU or 50k words of smut—you do you. Not everything has to be deep and meaningful beyond being entertaining. Themes just provide direction.

For example, I like the idea of slowburn fanfics. The idea. I will happily sit down for a fic that’s half a million words long if the characters and the slowburn are compelling enough. There might not be themes, but the story never forgets its throughline—these two characters eventually coming together.

In practice, though, I see way too many “slowburn” fics out there that are just 90% fluff. The chapters stagnate, trading development for taunting the audience with the will they/won’t they. The plot toddles off to to play around in irrelevant scenes with irrelevant characters. Things that probably wouldn’t bother me if I wasn’t already expecting the romance that was promised, the romance I have to keep waiting for when I could just go read something else that delivers it faster and clearer.

—

Even if your writing process begins with a few scattered sticky notes and a notion of what you kind of want it to be about, you don’t have to hammer out pages of prose to be productive.

If you get stuck halfway through, having your throughline helps you sit back and ask yourself this very important question: What does Character want, how do they get it, and what’s in their way?

[justanamesstuff]

I wasn’t going to do this because I thought it was cheesy and corny and not many care. but I care and this was my blog for the last few years, even though it changed a lot more a year ago (blame the 1975 for that blessing hehe). So here I go....

First thing i have to say is THANK YOU. I’m not just saying it, I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for all the support, for all the interactions, for many many memories I’ll tell --to whoever listens to my rants-- when my elderly days come haha. Thank you for being so nice to me, thank you for starting conversations when I was/am too shy to start those because you are all so cool and I feel a bit intimidated. I’ll never forget that you were there with me during the hardest time I had to go through (still am) when my dad passed away…I wasn’t expecting that level of affection and love but you proved me otherwise. Thank you for all that and more.

Secondly, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the fics i didn’t read and support, I’m sorry for the comments I didn’t leave. I’m sorry for all the things I promised to write, post, but never get to do. I’m sorry for the moments you expected me to be there and I wasn't, not because I didn’t want, only because I was too focused on the shit I was going through that moment even though it’s not an excuse. I’m sorry if any comment I made hurt someone (I hope this never happened but if it’s the case…I’m sorry). I’m sorry for all the typos and mistakes I’ve made hehe.

Something I also want to say is the fact that I had many good moments here…I've met people that I can call friends and I hope they will be in my life for the rest of it. The 75tumblr gave me more than what I can return. I only had one really bad experience that only made me appreciate my mutuals and friends much more...you have always been so nice and supportive that nothing or no one can overshadow that <333

I want to speak more about the great people I’ve met here…there are so many, I’m that lucky!! I love my mutuals, my friends, and everyone I got a chance to interact with here. When the first months of being part of the fandom went by, I was so surprised about the family feeling and the positivity going around it. This fandom is beautiful beyond compare, it has its difficult moments from time to time but like any family right? Each and every one of you is incredible…so kind, so talented and so supportive of the guys and the rest of the community created specially here. That’s something to applaud and be proud of every day!!

I have to say thank you to the guys because through them, I’ve met you…and specifically because they arrived into my life during one of the hardest moments of my anxiety and depression. The four of you meant so much to me that it’s incredibly difficult to put into words without thinking of Matty rolling his eyes at me in my imagination 😅😅 I love the four muppets so much!

Well, I won’t extend this more so…it’s been a pleasure guys! I love you all as I always try to tell you, I’ll love you for the rest of my days! And I hope universe, god, life, whatever crosses our paths again somehow.

All the love,

Ro

[doll3tt33]

Unnecessarily lengthy ramble abt losing interest and moving on with a new acc + last few bot/fic ideas I might post (feel free to ignore idkidk)

I’ve been having a hectic week regarding academic stuff so I have the worst brain fog rn, and I have a feeling I should unwind a couple more days before writing this but I honestly don’t care atp 😭😭

Basically, as you can see with the title, I’m losing interest in AHS, evan peters, his characters - all that. Besides Colin Zabel (he’s still my husband fr), creating content for everything else feels like a real chore now, whilst back then it was truly enjoyable and exciting.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and making bots, like this stuff is basically for life lol. But nowadays, it feels like I’m simply utilizing the evans as tools to write out the tropes I enjoy, rather than actually experiencing a desire to write FOR the characters like I used to ((which still can be gratifying in its own respective way… until a certain motivating factor begins to lack, if that makes sense??

It really sucks cuz I chalked it up to me being burned out, when in reality my attraction was clearly just plummeting as we speak 😔. What’s worse is that I’m really comfortable in this fandom - like I have super cool moots here, there’s no drama, there’s a bunch of evan characters for everybody 😂, and I gained over 500 followers, which is still crazy to me! I tried to “prolong” my interest for the sake of all this progress, but I think the inevitable has arrived and I can no longer keep up, my resolve is crumbling y’all 😭😭😭

I was hoping to wait until the Tron movie comes out in 2025, cuz maybe seeing Evan in there would reignite some of ✨la passion✨ within me, however I don’t feel like hanging around anymore, since I no longer relate to the fandom. I feel so out of place now, like a fRaUD 😩 ((I’ll still most likely watch it, but until then we’ll see

And to clarify, I will most likely NOT post and interact as frequently as I used to anymore. I’m not deleting this account, though I am going to make a new account to post The Boys content, as I want a fresh clean slate to start new.

Before I do go, I might drop a bot or two, maybe even a fic in the near future since they’re halfway done and I did NOT use all that effort for nothing 😭💀:

- corrupt cop!Colin Zabel ((most likely will make this next…. For personal reasons 😳

- a standard pre-cult Kai bot ((not brown hair pre-cult Kai, the recently dyed blue hair one iykwim. sorry

- as for fics, I’ll most likely post a very short smut when Kyle goes down on reader, cuz why not 😏

- might finish the older!grumpy neighbor!kit I talked about before since I’m halfway done

- not sure about this but I have a really random JPM fic where reader (accidentally but also not so accidentally) killed their spouse and they have no one to call but him for help ((heavily based off the tv show Fargo, the first season

No promises tho! I might occasionally come back to post if some random ideas for the evans come up, and ofc for Colin cuz he’s still the loml, no debate <3

[hualianisms]

🍉Fics for Gaza

Inspired by the fan Gotchas for Gaza and @ficsforgaza, i will be joining @ficsforgaza's initiative where fic writers write fics in exchange for proofs of donation to valid Palestinian fundraisers.

I will be offering: fanfics, poems about a character/pairing, or simple pfp icons/avatars of a character/pairing.

fandoms available include: any mxtx, jwqs, orv, jjk, genshin, rgu and more (see this list).

HOW IT WORKS:

1. Donate to any verified Palestinian fundraiser from gazafunds or to Gaza Municipality's water campaign. I will also accept donations to Sudan (Khartoum Aid Kitchen), separate from @ficsforgaza's initiative.

2. DM me proof of your donation - a screenshot of your donation receipt or confirmation email (*please edit out your personal details e.g. full name, bank/credit card details!)

3. DM me your prompt, specifying fic/poem/pfp, and any specific likes or dislikes/triggers/things you want me to avoid.

Limited to 3 slots for fics + 3 slots for poems + 5 pfp slots at a time.

(After I finish the first round of prompts, I'll open more slots later on when I have more time. I'll do my best to finish your prompt within a few weeks, but please be patient with me if I need more time and understand that longer fics may take 1-2 months as I am busy irl + writing for multiple Gotchas for Gaza at the same time🙇)

RULES:

I will do: sfw, nsfw*, canonverse, modern AU, canon divergent, other AUs, genderbend, angst, fluff, humour/comedy, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, heavy angst

I will not do: dead dove, underage, incest, rape/noncon or dubcon, abusive dynamics, omegaverse, mpreg, certain kinks that im not comfortable personally writing. also will not accept a prompt that's racist or prejudiced against a marginalized group

(*note: Only adults (18 and above) can request nsfw. Minors cannot request nsfw. Please have your age somewhere in your bio/carrd or I will reject your nsfw request!)

FIC INFO:

for SFW: every $1 = at least 150 words, capped at ~3500 words (for me to avoid burnout)

for NSFW: every $1 = at least 100 words, capped at ~2500 words (for me to avoid burnout)

you may donate enough more for multiple prompts, but please specify how much is for which prompt (e.g. you can donate $15 for a 1000 word nsfw fic ($10) + a 750 word sfw fic ($5)

samples of my fics on my ao3

POEM INFO:

$5 = 1 poem (up to ~5 stanzas)

can be about a character/ship/platonic dynamic. see this page for the list of characters/pairings available

link to poem samples in this page

PFP/ICON/AVATAR INFO:

$1 = 1 pfp

any character from any fandom accepted so long as you are able to provide the picture/screencap you want made into an icon. pfps will be just the character + a pride flag background, plain color background, or gradient color background (specify what color/pride flag you want)

samples here

more info in my carrd here! please read everything carefully before requesting, thank you so much!

[lifblogs]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by: @just-here-with-my-thoughts (I feel so honored, thank you! And I really am dying to read Welcome to the Outpost.)

These answers will probably involve a range of fandoms.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

647.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,850,510

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily The Bad Batch now, maybe Clone Wars here and there. My fandom writing migrates. Used to be Doctor Who, then Supernatural, then The Clone Wars, and Rebels.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Apparently my top 5 are fics I don’t even care about anymore. *sigh* Not providing links because of how meh I am about these.

1. Morningstar (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina),

2. Take Me Home (I actually didn’t realize this was in my top 5), it’s a Supernatural fic),

3. Take Me to Church (Supernatural),

4. Deal (I believe this is an Avatar: The Last Airbender crack fic based off of incorrect quotes), and

5. Ineffable (Good Omens).

5. Do you respond to comments?

Most definitely!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely either Bleeding Reality, or In the Dark.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Definitely May I Have This Dance? Oh, how I adore that fic. I wrote it based on art I love so much, and the artist even let me put their art in the fic!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Used to years ago, so now I still feel dread in the pit of my stomach when I get an AO3 comment email. The dread thankfully doesn’t show up all the time now.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, hell yeah, I do! Not sure about what kind. It’s just, I don’t know, smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not.

11. Which fic are you proud of but wish had gotten a bigger response from your readers?

Maybe The World Goes Cold? But I am maybe releasing chapters too slowly, so I guess it makes sense the response isn’t as big.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think I’ve had a couple translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried to do so with my brother a couple of times, but we never finished them. I don’t think either of us really understand how the co-writing process works.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Tbh, I always feel the most when I think about or see anything involving Whoufflé/Whouffaldi from Doctor Who. They were my OTP from 2013 to 2016. Might still be the case!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

You know, I had ones I did want to finish, but now, I’m not even sure I want to.

Still, I guess Blackout, and Three Birds, One Stone held a lot of my attention for a few years. But with the fic content now being triggering for me, and with a brain injury, I feel as if I may have moved on.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have been told my descriptions are incredibly visceral, and I might agree. I’ve been on the edge of my seat or emotional more than a few times during my editing process. I also like to consider the fact that I’m writing at all a strength given I have a brain injury that gives me memory problems and aphasia.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well, I’d say say the memory problems and aphasia cause some weaknesses. I have caught a couple weirdly-worded errors and it’s slightly embarrassing. Does Omega shredding my outline multiple times count as a weakness? lol I suppose another weakess is spelling and forgetting words and struggling to find the right words. I often have to look things up. But as far as things like description, dialogue… I’m not sure I struggle there.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I’d take a crack at French! I used to be able to read and write in French very easily.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Lord of the Rings. I was 8.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably Brother, Hold Me Up, and it’s still going!

Tagging: @evilwriter37, @envydean, @cascigarette, and @clownery-and-fuckery