#there's a good chance they've been waiting until they hear me come back to do it too

[theforestknowsmydreams]

people really suck sometimes

i'm 95% sure my neighbors right next door have been ringing my doorbell/knocking almost every single day for a while now and instead of just. leaving me a note at the door or even in my mailbox. they keep doing it???

like. excuse me, but some of us are trying to have an anxiety disorder in peace

[a-hazbin-reader]

Eeek I love your writing it makes me so 🫶🫶🫶 Can I make a request?

If you do angst to comfort, can you make reader waiting for Alastor to come back (they're married) for seven years? Reader's friends has been pushing them to have a new lover—introducing them to new demons or overlords that the reader might like, but the reader only loves one; which is Alastor. Until Vox made the news that he was back, for months, without looking for the reader. Which makes the reader think Alastor doesn't love them anymore and tries to not be in his attention whenever they meet and pretends to not know him. What will Alastor do? :3 Thank yous!!!

Oh man...that ANGST!!!

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Reader is sad, Suggestive

Description: ☝️⬆️

When Alastor first dissappears, you assume he's just busy and will be back by the end of the day

And then you wake up alone...so maybe he'll be back tomorrow. Tomorrow turns into a week, a week turns into a month...

He's just gone, suddenly ripped away from you without warning and you didn't even get a proper goodbye

So you search for him, you ask everyone if they've seen him or heard about his whereabouts

You even ask Vox if he managed to kill your husband, knowing the TV head wouldn't be able to resist bragging about it

Instead, he looks surprised and uncomfortable with your obvious distress, muttering something about keeping an eye out for you

Rosie is worried too and offers her help but turns up nothing, she does her best to keep an eye on you

You never give up on finding him, knowing that he's alive out there

After the first three years your friends start trying to get you to move on, setting you up with available bachelors

Valentino has offered to help you get over your husband multiple times because he's just such a good guy

You don't give any of them a chance, you had already found the one man you wanted to be with for eternity and married him

He's just not here at the moment

The pain in your heart is just as strong as when you first realized Alastor was missing, crying yourself to sleep nearly every night

The only time you get to see him now is in your dreams, clutching one of his jackets with his scent still on it

You just feel so abandoned...

After the sixth year, your friends try to get you to move or throw out some of Alastor's things but you can't bring yourself to do it

He's going to come back to you, you know it, so you keep your wedding ring on and still present yourself as a married woman

Rosie makes sure you take care of yourself on the days when your sadness swallows you whole

"Wipe away those tears now, have you eaten today? No? I have just the thing for you.."

Seven years go by and nothing has changed for you

You're sad and miserable, running errands when you suddenly pass by an electronics store, seeing Vox on the TV

That's nothing new to you, you almost turn away and keep walking until you hear Vox say something about Alastor

You're suddenly frozen, listening to Vox bitch about Alastor's multiple offenses during these last few months

He's been back...for months..? And hasn't come to see his wife?

You're blinking away hot tears, the air in your lungs going sour and your stomach doing flips

Did Alastor really abandon you like that? You need to go see the one person who you know has been digging into Alastor for as long as you have

Vox literally screams like a child when you're suddenly bursting into his office and grabbing him by his suit

"How long has my FUCKING HUSBAND BEEN BACK!? And why didn't you tell me, Vox!? WHY!?"

"FUCK! Who let you in here!?"

"VOX!" You're shaking him now, making his screen glitch out

"A-at least a couple of months for sure! He's doing something with Lucifer's daughter and a hotel or some shit! I thought you would've been the first to know he was back!"

Vox is relieved when you finally let go of him, fixing his suit before suddenly giving you a cruel grin

"Wait wait wait-don't tell me-he hasn't come to see you this whole time!? You wait all these years for him and he's shacking up with Lucifer's daughter, a porn star and who knows who else!?"

He suddenly stops laughing when you slam his screen into his desk, storming out afterward so he doesn't see the angry tears in your eyes

"Don't get mad at me because he started a new life without you!"

Vox knew exactly which ugly worries to pull out of your head and you let him get to you

But you knew he was right, looking at all the evidence presented to you...it does look like Alastor is starting over

A small part of you is telling you that he's replaced you somehow but you have enough pride to doubt it

But that self pity comes back to bite you that same night, crying harder than you ever have before

By the end of the week, you've convinced yourself that he doesn't love you anymore, that he got bored of you

You still haven't taken off your wedding ring yet

Imagine your surprise when on your way home you bump into Charlie Morningstar, the princess of hell herself

She somehow managed to crash into you and knock down everything you were carrying, making you sigh and bend down to pick it up

"Oh my gosh, I'M SO SORRY!!" 🥺

You mumble something forgiving back to her, still picking up your things when you hear a familiar voice that makes your heart ache

"Charlie, my dear! What sort of mischief have you gotten int-Y/N?"

You're still as beautiful as Alastor remembers, if not even more so

You can hear the surprise in his voice, along with notes of panic and guilt

You just ignore him, gathering the rest of your things before walking in the opposite direction of them, you don't dare look at Alastor

You know you would break down if you did

He doesn't follow you, nor does he follow you the next time you run into him, or the time after that

It hurts you a little more each time, wanting to know if your husband ever loved you at this point

He doesn't know what boundaries to push with you anymore, he just misses you like crazy

Alastor knows he has to do something-

He tries cornering you the next time he sees you, standing in your way

"Y/N, please just let me explain-"

"I don't know who you're talking about, I'm not who you think I am."

He grabs your wrist, eyeing your wedding band with a frustrated expression

"You're wearing our wedding ring..."

"This is the ring my husband gave to me, and I haven't seen him in years."

You rip away your arm and walk away from him, crying to yourself over how much it hurts

You don't see how his ears lay low, and how he watches you with a regretful expression

He wishes he could just tell you everything, wants to run after you and hold you

But his deal doesn't allow it, he wanted to go straight to you when he got back-never wanted to leave you in the first place

But he was also too ashamed to face you, scared to find that you moved on or that you no longer loved him

He hates that he's hurting his wife like this and it sours his mood for weeks afterwards

Charlie and Vaggie start to understand that Alastor's sudden angry attitude always happens whenever he sees you

But they don't know who you are and they're way too afraid to ask Alastor because he's still digging his claws into everything out of anger

Niffty is actually the one who tells them that you're his wife but Husk explains to them that you're probably pissed at him for disappearing

Charlie is crying at the thought of Alastor and his wife being separated, Vaggie having to comfort her

So the two women get to work on finding you themselves, showing up on your doorstep one day and inviting you to the hotel

It takes a lot of coaxing and convincing from them to finally get you to go with them

You're a bit surprised to hear that Alastor is helping with a hotel centered around the idea of redemption

But you figure he's got some sort of angle, he always does

Alastor isn't there when you three arrive, Charlie having talked your ear off about everything Alastor has been doing to help

Which is unlike him, you're immediately suspicious

But you recognize Husk and Niffty, the little woman running to you and crawling all over you in excitement

"Y/N! Y/N! You're here! Are you gonna stay? Is your house messy? Do you have roaches for me to kill~?"

"Hey Y/N, you look like you need a drink.."

You almost start crying then and there, not having realized how much you missed them too, hugging Niffty tight as you take a seat at the bar

It almost feels like old times, the three of you talking late into the night until it's just you and Husker...

He takes a shot and seems to be preparing himself for something, uncomfortable suddenly

"Y/N...there's something I gotta tell you...about your husband..."

You're expecting to hear the worst, to hear that Alastor cheated, to hear that he's seeing someone new

But what Husk tells you is far FAR from that...you don't know whether to be thankful or horrified

Your husband's soul...owned by someone else? Just what did that man get himself into?

You don't even realize you're crying until Husk is awkwardly hugging you, patting your back gently as you cling to him

At some point, you must've fallen asleep because you wake up in an unfamiliar bed, your face buried in Alastor's neck

You almost relax and fall back asleep before your eyes suddenly pop open, jolting up and shoving him away

Even with what Husk told you, you're still mad at him, he never came back to see you

Alastor wakes up fast enough to realize he's falling off the bed, climbing back up with downward facing ears

"We need to talk, darling.."

"What is there to talk about? You don't want a wife anymore, is that it? Is that why you never came to see me?"

He looks so guilty and upset, his smile tense as he looks away, you have to resist the urge to rub his ears

You flinch away at first when he takes your hands before reluctantly letting him hold them, missing him too much to fight it

"I was too ashamed to face you...there's so much I can't tell you and I was...scared that you would be with someone new."

"Do you have any idea how much pain I was in? Alastor, it nearly broke me.."

He has tears pricking in the corners of his eyes, looking away to try and save face as he pulls you in for a tight hug

"Just please...forgive me and let me be your husband again. I'll do everything I can to fix this..."

It doesn't make up for all the pain you felt for seven years but it's definitely a start

You've missed him too much to continue being angry with him, so you just cling to him and cry

You cry until you both fall asleep again, eventually waking up tangled in each other's arms

He's kissing all over your face, ghosting his lips over your eyes, your nose, your forehead, eventually getting to your lips

You suddenly feel so full of emotion, like you could burst with happiness at finally having Alastor again

You had nearly given up hope that you would feel him, taste his lips, or smell his raw scent ever again

You dig your nails into him when he tries to pull away, forcing him to kiss you longer as his hands bruise your hips

You both are panting by the time you pull away, bodies pressed as close as possible out of a need for contact

His voice comes out like static, leaning in for another kiss as gazes at you with loving eyes

"I have missed you...so much..."

You could cry if it weren't for the fact that you were sick of crying, instead rolling yourself on top of him and kissing along his jaw

"You better prove it to me."

His pleased growl followed by claws digging into your clothes answered you well enough

You know he still has a lot to make up for but this is a good start

Sorry this one came out so long!! I hope you like it!!

[radiant-reid]

hi cate! this is my first ask sooo i’m nervous to send this tee hee but i love your acc and i’ve got a front row seat on the hot wife wagon 🤪 and let me tell you cate i have thoughts. lots of them.

but what do you think about dr. hot wife stitching up spencer in the ER after a case? like she’s doting on him and bringing him jello and being extra gentle and stuff. and if the team doesn’t know and sees them they’re like 👀👀 “where’d she learn those bedside manners??” “can i get some stitches too?” ok that’s all. i love you and what you do have a great one!! 💖

oh i love this so much and don't be nervous, i love hearing what you think

"What happened?" She asks, walking into the crowded room. Spencer's sitting on the edge of the bed, Morgan's sitting on the chair and Hotch is standing. "I'm Doctor L/n." She introduces herself to them as an afterthought.

Spencer smiles at her voice, pointing to the cut on his forehead. "Someone tried to mess up my pretty face."

She laughs as she turns away to get some gloves. "Well, they didn't succeed." She assures him. "I am going to have to stitch it up, though, so keep your head still."

She grabs what she needs to stitch the sutures into his open wound, standing in between his legs in a way that she wouldn't with any other patient. Spencer, on the other hand, acts professionally and keeps his hands on his thighs.

"So what actually happened?" She asks instead of waiting until they get home.

"I got hit in the back of the head by an unsub and fell into a glass mirror." Spencer answers.

Y/n's eyes widen, but she's happy he's there and only slightly hurt. Being thrown into a mirror could do a lot worse. "Sounds like 7 years of bad luck to me." She says jokingly.

"I don't know." He disagrees. "I think I'm pretty lucky, but I can try it out if it'll help with your assessment."

"Mm, okay." She agrees, carefully working on his face.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He asks.

Morgan and Hotch's eyes snap to each other, exchanging odd looks as they both silently wonder whether or not Spencer has a concussion because he has never been that flirty. In all the years they've known him, a question like that or one with those implications has never come out of his mouth.

"I'm married, actually." She answers.

"So I'm going to have to wait out my 7 years of bad luck before asking you out?" He wonders with a pout.

Morgan holds a hand over his open mouth, and Hotch starts worrying they're about to have to deal with a sexual harassment lawsuit.

But she laughs, and not like she's trying to politely shut him down. "I don't know. I'm kind of fond of him."

"I'm going to go see if the rest of the team is here." Morgan awkwardly says, getting out of his chair and leaving the three of them in the room.

"Okay, I think you're good." She says, finishing off the tidy stitch. "Did they check you for a concussion?"

Hotch takes his chance to defend Spencer before he says something unusually stupid. "No, he could have one- he probably has one. He's not usually like this."

She nods, taking off her gloves. "Any memory loss, nausea, unconsciousness, confusion, headaches?" She lists to both of them.

"None of that." Spencer denies. "But I did want to ask if I could take you out on a date."

"Yes, lots of behavioral change," Hotch answers for him.

Y/n looks sternly at her husband. "I won't hesitate to send you for a CT scan." She threatens although she knows he's teasing her because his eidetic memory is working perfectly. It also hilarious to see him freaking his boss out.

"Please, if you're going to come with me." He flirts.

She shakes her head with a little smile, pulling away from him. "Sorry, I've got other patients to see. Do you need anything else?"

He stops short of asking for a kiss. "Just some jello, please."

"Because you used your manners, I'll bring you two." She agrees before leaving the room.

"You don't need jello for one stitch and a few bruises," Hotch tells him once he's sure she's out of earshot.

Spencer shakes his head. "I mean, I should at least stay to say goodbye."

Morgan catches everyone else up as they walk through the hospital and towards Spencer's room. "He was flirting with her. Like actively hitting on her, trying to get her to go out with him."

"We've got to see this." JJ agrees, nods coming from everyone else.

"Wait." Morgan stops them, gesturing to Y/n, who's talking to a nurse. "Her."

They look more surprised then than they did when Morgan informed them of Spencer's odd behavior. "She was flirting with Reid?" Rossi asks in disbelief.

"I'm going to go check myself in," Emily declares, earning a chuckle from the rest of them.

They watch as she walks toward Spencer's room with jello cups. "He's not even getting admitted," JJ says, shaking her head in disbelief. "She's definitely into him."

"Go and watch them flirt. It's disgusting." Morgan says, and the irony is not lost on any of them.

She's spoon-feeding him the jello when they walk into the room like he's got broken hands. "Hey, guys, this is Doctor L/n." Spencer introduces them.

"And I'm guessing she doesn't treat all of her patients like this," Hotch mutters loud enough to have them all laughing.

[sleepsacked]

jeong yunho nsfw a-z

18+ mdni!!!!!

it has been a while since i've done one of these, catching up on the members for this in lieu of waiting for my san fic to upload later tn xo

p.p.s will be doing these in age order so mr. yeosang will be next :3

2024 © sleepsacked

a ⋆ aftercare (how he is after sex)

i think yunho is more so the type to be pretty basic with the aftercare like jus clean you both right up and cuddle for the rest of the time you guys have together, he seems like he'd be a reallllll sleepy guy and hear me out...,, Little Spoon Yunho. okok hear me out again.... Little Spoon Yunho.... who Loves. Back rubs from you OHHHHH too good

b ⋆ body part (his favorite body part)

thighs. 1000000% thighs. Loves the squishy, smooth, softness of them all, loves to use yours as a pillow and loves to kiss and suck on them every chance he gets when he's going down on you.

c ⋆ cum (anything to do with cum)

it wouldn't be very often like GENUINELY. would not be very often.... but when you did indulge in him... he'd love to come on your face... IT WOULDN'T BE OFTEN...... but man would he love seeing your face filthy with him after going down on him...

d ⋆ dirty secret (his dirty secret)

Voyeurism. That's it. I won't even elaborate. Voyeurism.

e ⋆ experience (how experienced is he?)

i think had i wrote this in 2022 with my hj and hwa ones, i'd say not a lot of experience, but in 2024... i think he's definitely gad his fair share of hookups jus... hasn't been able to really experiment because they've all been quickies more or less

f ⋆ fav position (sex position)

you know what, i was gonna say smth like doggy or cowgirl whatever right... but then i thought abt that one svt woozi tweet where it said smth abt spanish guitar (the sex position) and suddenly. Yunho. 100000% Fav position. Spanish Guitar. LOL..

g ⋆ goofy (how he acts in the moment)

i don't think he's necessarily goofy but he is more so clumsy... def gives off big pup energy?-?????? just wants to treat you good but stumbles over himself and gets clumsy

h ⋆ hair (how groomed is he?)

honestly, i have a feeling he wouldn't be that groomed like hairless type groom but would jus be trimmed up fs

i ⋆ intimacy (how passionate is he?)

the way he displays his passion is through his dominance lol he feels best when he's got you all to himself and can feel that you're mind is only consumed with him, it drives him INSANEEEE

j ⋆ jack off (how often he masturbates)

i feel like this is where it gets crazy for him, cuz i dont think he'd necessarily masturbate 24/7 but he'd definitely like to edge himself to the thought of you and wait as long as he needed until you guys met up so he could empty himself in you entirely 100000000000000000000%

k ⋆ kink (one or more)

size size size ik this is sooooo overplayed with yunho but its literalllllllllllllllly so true would love fucking you in missionary but having you soooo close almost laying most of his weight on you as he fucks into you wooooo loves feeling you press up against him when he's like that too

l ⋆ location (fav place to do it)

feel like he'd love to do it anywhere in your home, the kitchen, the living room, on the table, etc. but apart from there i think he'd definitely be into car sex 100%

m ⋆ motivation (what keeps him going)

loves when you send him audios of you touching yourself when he's away on schedules, literally drives him madddddd he will edge himself as long as he can listening to you bring yourself to your orgasm thinking abt him oh geez

o ⋆ oral (giving + receiving — is he good?)

he doesn't give munch material LOL... doesn't mind giving head but definitely would rather just fuck you instead.. he does like receiving though

p ⋆ pace (fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

truthfully, his vibe isn't necessarily fast ?? more like deep strokes but rough strokes-????-???? and once he found that perfect spot in you, only then would he go faster yup yup

q ⋆ quickie (his opinion on it + how often they happen)

because he seems like the type to enjoy car sex, i could 100% see him enjoying quickies. i think in the beginning of a relationship where its in the honeymoon/affectionate phase, he would soooooo want to have you at all times

r ⋆ risks (is he willing to experiment, does he take risks, etc.)

i think like seonghwa.. would experiment some, but pretty vanilla things and things that are more dom/sub power dynamic related >> can’t see him being like “yes babe im SO down to peg :D!!” LOL

s ⋆ stamina (how long can he last?)

average stamina ?? LOL only cause with him foreplay would begin from the moment you both wake up and continue thru out the way and then finally when there is a moment to finally unwind together it would be everything all at once

t ⋆ toys (does he use/own any?)

Yes. toys are not his Enemy but His Support. but unlike seonghwa, toys would be his support in helping tease and torture you lol. oh you touched yourself when he said not to??? vibrator to the clit until you're shaking and crying actually matter of fact i think now... yunho would have a slight dacryphilia kink hellllooooooo

u ⋆ unfair (how much does he tease?)

he doesn't like to tease much, he's more so the type to jus put you in your place from the jump no questions asked

v ⋆ volume (how loud is he + what noises does he make?)

groaner 100000% and knows it drives you wild when he makes all types of noises just for you

w ⋆ wild card (random headcanon for him)

panties. Just. Panties... Loves them... A lot.

x ⋆ x-ray (what’s under his clothes?)

a little bigger than average but definitely got some girth one him... definitely a prettier one to look at

y ⋆ yearning (how high is his sex drive?)

his sex drive would be subjective to how high yours is, if its high, he can match that, if its not, he can match that and lean more into romantic/emotional intimacy and taking care of your needs on that higher level more than physical needs (this isn't including pda though however)

z ⋆ zzz (how quickly does he sleep after?)

this one is a eepy guy for sure lol likes to chat with you a little but mostly just cuddle and lay kisses all over your chest and face before ultimately falling asleep with his head on your chest - dont let the rest of the guys find out he likes to be little spoon though he will definitely be embarassed for days, maybe even weeeeeeeks

[avelera]

Vibrating over Daniel’s ending.

I’d love your thoughts on what it means for next season?

(And any other thoughts you have about the finale are so welcome 🙏)

Heya! I actually wrote up my thoughts here.

But, short Daniel-specific version:

I think we'll get Louis-as-Lestat's-agent inviting Daniel to interview Rockstar Lestat for his next book and Daniel salivating at the chance to do so.

(Very different tonally from what I was expecting, btw. No joke, I thought the falling books were going to be Lestat crashing through the ceiling to kidnap Daniel for an interview so he could tell HIS version of the story lol, but I can see why they went for a tearful Loustat reunion instead and how kidnapping Daniel wouldn't have worked with that, funny as it is in my head).

The good news is that I believe we'll get Daniel's snark throughout Lestat's book since that's been the framing device of the show so far (though, there's less of a "mystery" to unravel in Lestat's narrative than in Louis's so... who knows, maybe they will break the format since you don't need an investigative reporter with Lestat to drag secrets out, Lestat literally can't shut up). Honestly, I am SALIVATING to hear Daniel tear Lestat's narrative limb from limb lol.

The bad news is that I think, sadly, that if we dive right into 1-2 seasons of The Vampire Lestat, we won't be getting the space to explore Armand/Daniel and why that happened and if Devil's Minion happened in the past until a theoretical Season 5, if we follow the books and leave the end of TVL to go into Queen of the Damned, where that beat takes place.

IF we do that, sadly, it means we'll have to wait on the full explanation of Daniel/Armand.

HOWEVER, I also wouldn't put it past the show to actually do more interweaving of past and present than that. Have some modern stuff like Daniel/Armand/Devil's Minion in the present day while we're ducking in and out of Lestat's trip down memory lane to 18th century France.

GENUINELY, even as a writer, I don't know how they'll tackle the order of events given that means it'll be a LONG time before we get an explanation for stuff they set up in this season like Daniel's turning and part of me thinks they won't wait THAT long because the eagerness to learn this info is here now, and might not be there in a couple years, people might have forgotten by then.

That said, they also introduced Raglan James, the villain of Vampire Chronicles Book 4, the Body Thief, so that actually signals that they're willing to seed things very early before the pay-off, UNLESS they remix the order of the books significantly and Akasha gets pushed back.

It actually would kinda make sense to push Akasha back she is an EXCELLENT final boss and Body Thief is a bit of a come-down after her so I wouldn't totally blame them for swapping those two books in terms of the order we see their events in. But maybe not! They've been surprisingly faithful in a lot of ways. Regardless, I trust their discretion.

And finally, my hope when we DO finally get Devil's Minion, we're going to have the modern Daniel/Armand juxtaposed with the 1970s one, ending in Armand refusing to turn him in the 1970s, wiping his memory (perhaps knowing that vampirism would drive young Daniel mad, as it canonically did in the books, but old Daniel is made of sterner stuff now) and then we flash forward to the present and old man vampire Daniel and Armand and whatever THEY'VE got going on (hopefully: Daniel domming the shit out of Armand the way he always wanted).

So ok, I lied, I had more thoughts, lol!

[verdemoun]

Oh my god I wanna hear about Sean going to the dentist. All of them going to the dentist and doctor regularly please. Wanna see Arthur Morgan going to the doctor like "Jesus fuck you have the lungs of a man who's been chainsmoking since birth. Did you have some kinda lung disease" "haha whaaat that's crazy 🤯" how does the gang handle the doctors. Is Dutch antivax. Is Micah being as much as a asshole to the nurses as I think he'd be

Sean had to go to the dentist for complications involving a) smoking and b) y'know literally having teeth pulled and not healing correctly and assumed he would be fine with it because unstoppable Sean Macguire. Calmly talking about yeah got a tooth ache and sometimes this hole in my gum starts oozing randomly. Laying back in the chair making jokes about give me some of that good shit doc right up until they tried to put something in his mouth. Proceeded to jump up, punch the dentist at full strength hard in the jaw, throw the nurse over and sprint back to the reception room where several of the gang were waiting with tears in his eyes before going 'lol classic Sean' at himself. Hyperventilated for 20 minutes in the car 'hahahaaa what's wrong with me am I dying'. They found him a dentist who they very much warned about what happened to the last dentist and he absolutely has to be knocked out before they do anything even vaguely near his mouth. They've tried when he was almost out of it and he still started trying to fist fight and threw himself onto the floor before it fully kicked in.

Most of the gang go to the same doctor who is both scared of them and for them. Sees Bessie Matthews has made an appointment and just feels fear what strange old-fashioned creature has she found today! Unmedicated hyperactivity who will not stop making jokes but explode into violence if touched in the wrong place, with what look like cane scars over most of his back and ass? Semi-verbal adult who must come with another adult because he will stare at the fish tank so intently he will miss hearing his name called despite being fully aware and very compliant with picking up and taking his medication on time? Another mysterious oddly polite 40 year old with very obvious gunshot scars over far too much of their body? Adult women who have not heard of condoms and need a triple appointment to even understand the concept of birth control? Every. Single. One. Needing. Every. Single. Vaccine. Desperately wanting to know what cult they escaped to have missed so many. Getting a frantic phone call from the CDC that antibodies for smallpox were found in a blood sample he sent away for testing.

Arthur is so paranoid about his health. He went through feeling his body degrade and fail him and feeling like he was drowning in his own lungs when so much of his identity before then was being the workhorse and the enforcer and strong man. Getting a second chance in a body magically restored to the exact moment before he was infected with TB was as glorious as it was horrifying. Never wanting to feel sick again. Coughing because he swallowed wrong and immediately booking an appointment with his GP because he is terrified of getting sick. Modern medicine is his religion. Will never not use nicotine patches but is making a conscious effort to quit smoking because cigarettes bad for lungs. No longer having the gunshot wound on his shoulder from Colm but getting phantom pains. Plenty of other older injuries he had accumulated over his life he experiences pain from as he keeps aging. Sees a physio twice a week for trying to take care of himself physically.

Dutch is not anti-vax but he is very anti-big pharma despite relying on a colorful candy-like assortment of drugs to maintain balance. Acts like a victim despite never having to actually pay for his own meds and care because the VDLs cover it to make sure he is in a stable, positive environment. Goes on the biggest lectures about pharmaceuticals being a scam and the corrupt power of branding and lack of peer-reviewed studies into the effect of specific medications over time only to be called over by his doctor to discuss a new alternative to one of his current meds and excitedly skipping over 'oh goodie!!'.

Dutch is in the psych ward watching House MD and it becomes part of his identity.

Yes. Micah is a creep and doesn't believe women can be doctors. He is the token anti-vax. Nurse showing him to the exam room and he's like 'slow down lemme see that little canter' biting his lip fuckboy emoji. But he also goes to a dodgiest clinic in his sleezy local area so the fact he isn't actively groping the nurses makes him one of the less offensive people they have to deal with. Most of his visits to the clinic are because he's gotten pepper-sprayed or wrecked by a woman with self defense training yay go women I love women beating up Micah Bell.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Haunted: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Summary: This is Hotch's first case back since being stabbed by Foyet. As much as he says he's fine, he's not and he's letting his emotions affect the case in a negative way.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

Under Hotch's orders, half of the team heads back to the station where JJ and Spencer are. They've been doing as much research on Darrin, the Hollow Creek Killer, and Tommy as they can.

"So, what do we know?" Hotch asks when he walks in.

"There were only four suspects in the Hollow Creek case, and they're all dead. The kids were taken in 1973, '74, and '75, and all on the way home from school."

"They came from different school districts," JJ says. "He waited for them to be alone."

"That takes patience. He must have had time off in the afternoons. He lived or worked near the schools."

"That's a lot of doors to knock on," Derek sighs.

"Do you think Call's going back there?" Rossi asks.

"I think there's a good chance."

"I'll tell Mitchell," JJ says and walks away.

"Where's the secondary location? He needed seclusion to do what he did." Derek's phone rings and he places Pen on speakerphone. "Go ahead, Garcia. You're on speaker."

"I found Tommy. He goes by James Thomas Anderson now."

"Is he local?"

"One county over. His address and bio are coming now."

You and Hotch take this one together without a hoard of other agents. Tommy probably wants to put all this in the past. Seeing so many officers about this case will only freak him out. Tommy wasn't thrilled to see you two on his doorstep, but he let you in nonetheless. When Hotch explains the situation vaguely, Tommy looks visibly upset.

"What does Darrin Call have to do with me?"

"We think he survived the Hollow Creek Killer."

"Nobody survived that."

"You did. There was another boy. He was six years old."

"No, that's not true."

"We don't have time for this," Hotch says angrily.

"I'm telling you, I was alone."

"Just like now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Have you ever been married? Any relationships? Any family?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Or are you afraid you'll abandon them, too? Or was it because of your alcoholism?"

"I would never leave a kid," Tommy says with hints of tears in his eyes.

"Did he cry too much? Was he too slow? What was it? How could you leave a six-year-old all alone?" Hotch says a bit harshly.

"I was only twelve."

"He's been taking medications to deal with the trauma that suppressed his memories," you explain. "That kind of amnesia is a psychological defense."

"He's gonna wish he never remembered," Tommy sighs.

"We know what you told the police. We need to know about the boy."

"He never talked. I was kept in a cage in the barn. He'd come in frequently so I thought I'd be able to use him to escape. One day, the man was drunk and passed out. Darrin freed me. Turns out the man wasn't as drunk as I thought he was because he caught us pretty quickly. He took us both away in a car to a secluded spot. I don't remember where. He gave the shovel to Darrin and told him to dig my grave. I ended up grabbing that shovel and beat the shit out of the man. Both Darrin and I ran away until we got to a fence. I jumped over it easily but Darrin was stuck. The man caught up to Darrin but I was already free. I never thought I'd hear his voice."

"He told you to go," you say.

"He was a kid," Tommy cries.

"So were you."

"Was Call in the back with you?"

"No, he was in the front."

"He got the keys to let him free. He rode in the front. Why wasn't he locked up?"

"Maybe Call wasn't a victim."

Something clicks in your head and you gasp.

"Call's father was the Hollow Creek Killer."

Tommy isn't going to be much use to you anymore so you and Hotch go back to the station to tell everyone else this revelation.

"His own kid? No wonder he was never claimed," Rossi scoffs when he hears the news.

"How did the father explain how his son just disappeared?"

"He could have said he ran away."

"His mother would have reported him missing," JJ says.

"Then maybe he said the boy died."

"She'd want a funeral," JJ shakes her head.

"What if there wasn't one? Morgan, call Garcia. Ask her to check death records from 1969 to 1975."

"For who?" Derek asks Hotch.

"For the mother." Derek calls Penelope and asks her for the death records, and she works quickly to grab that information. "You got it?"

"It's a long list. A really long list."

"Can you narrow it down?"

"Six years is a long time. I need more parameters."

"She lived within that eight-mile radius, was married, was most likely in her twenties, he was probably her only kid, and the husband drove a red truck."

"Okay, this could be one," Penelope says as he types. "Here we go. I have Doris Jarvis. She died in childbirth."

"Let me guess. She had a boy?"

"Yeah. So Doris Jarvis was married to Bill Jarvis. He owned a machine shop just outside the city."

"That could be the secondary location," Spencer says.

"It closed in 1980. He hasn't done anything since. I guess he laid low. He had a red pickup until 1976 when he bought a black one. I know that because that's what he was driving when he was arrested for DUIs. He was locked up from '77 to '80, and I'm sending his picture now."

Penelope sends a picture of what Darrin's father looks like. Yeah, he looks like a serial killer.

"That could definitely be Darrin's father."

"Where is Jarvis now?"

"In the same house. 1457 Hitchens Avenue."

"Let's go," Hotch announces.

By the time you get to Jarvis' house, Lieutenant Mitchell, his team, and SWAT are already here. Darrin Call is inside the house with Ryan which is why they're not busting the door down.

"Lieutenant," you say when you get there.

"The kid's in there. We've got this. Tactical teams are covering the exits."

"Call needs a distraction."

"He's focused on the old man."

"Yeah, for now, but we're gonna have to figure out the safest way to get that kid out."

"I've got a team in the back and one on the way. We're going to infiltrate."

"If you do that, someone is going to die."

"It'll either be Call or a child murderer. Flip a coin," the Lieutenant scoffs.

"It doesn't have to end like that. If we get a confession out of Jarvis, he goes away and Call gets his answers. No one else has to die." You happen to look over at your team and see Hotch walk past the barricade without his FBI vest on. He's going in there unarmed and unprotected. "Hotch? Hotch!!"

You jump to stop him but Rossi holds you and Derek back from going after him.

"What the hell is he doing?!" Derek gasps.

"Let him go."

"Rossi! I'm not letting him go in there solo."

"We have to trust him."

Waiting for something to happen is like a ticking time bomb. You're not sure what is going to happen. Hotch could get very hurt in there without protection, but you have to trust him. Hotch manages to bring Call to the window but SWAT doesn't have a shot on him yet.

"Do you have the shot?" Lieutenant Mitchell asks.

"Negative."

"Damn it. What's he doing?"

Whatever Hotch is doing must be working because the front door opens and Ryan runs out fearfully. One of the SWAT members grabs him and takes him to safety behind the line of police cars.

"Let's get Hotch out of there,"

"That's his call," Rossi says.

Two long minutes pass before you hear three gunshots ring out from inside. You don't care if he wants to be alone or not. You're going in now. You, Emily, and Derek take off running into the house with your guns raised. Jarvis is dead but Hotch and Darri are fine. Hotch is handcuffing Darrin to take him away.

"What the hell happened?" you ask.

"I couldn't stop him."

Hotch escorts Darrin out of the house without an ounce of guilt on his face. He's not guilty because he let it happen. He's acting recklessly because of his own feelings toward Foyet which is pissing you off. You wait until you're back at the BAU to confront him about his behavior. Hotch is alone in his office when you approach it.

"Hey, do you have a minute?"

"I'm not in the mood for company right now."

"I don't care." You walk inside and shut the door behind you. Hotch looks up at you in shock but you continue before he has a chance to respond. "Look. I know how much pain you're in. I can feel it as if it were my own. If you hadn't turned down Foyet's deal, then he wouldn't have gone after Hayley and Jack and they would be safe right now. I get the guilt you're feeling because I've been there. You have no idea how guilty I've felt for a decision I've made and how it would affect the ones I love. Now, you're obsessing over trying to find him so your family can be safe but guess what, you're not alone. You have an entire team--family--here to help you. Foyet will get caught but you can't blame yourself for not knowing what was going to happen when you turned down his deal. You once told me not to blame myself when that car bomb went off because I couldn't have known. The same thing goes for you. I understand you miss your family but you have another one right here to help you through it. Use them but don't disrespect them."

"I understand," he nods. "Thank you."

Hotch understands the weight of your words. His response might not feel sincere but you know he means it when he says he understands. He knows how he's been feeling and vows to himself that he will do better.

Frank paces the inside of his empty apartment quickly. The only pieces of furniture he has in there are an inflatable mattress, a dingy nightstand he got at a thrift store, and a TV that sits on it. He's not going to be here for much longer so why would he try and furnish this apartment? It's a month-to-month contract that he can renew at any time, so he only bought out two months.

He has to stick around to see how this is going to play out with you. He went through all the trouble to get you in trouble so why would he leave before he knows you're going to take the fall for this? He's been living here for the past few weeks in hopes that something will progress with the police.

So far, nothing much has happened.

"How's it going out there?" Frank's wife asks.

"It's complete bullshit. The police are so fucking slow. I practically have to do their jobs for them. I talked to a few more officers and told them everything besides her fucking name. If they don't figure it out, I'm gonna have to think of something else."

"When are you coming home?" his wife pouts.

"I'm gonna have to spend another month here." She groans in protest but he's quick to shut that down. "Clarissa, don't."

"I can't handle the kids by myself."

Frank sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Call Rob. He owes me a favor anyway."

"Are you sure? He's worse than you."

"I don't care. He will do what needs to be done. It's only for a month, anyway."

"Fine. Hurry home."

"Listen, there's something else. I gave my real name to the police."

"What were you thinking?"

"I'm not a fucking idiot, Clarissa. I didn't give them my last name. I told them it was Livingston."

"You're playing it too close. Someone is going to get caught. What if they show up at our front door? All the work we've done?"

"Hey, we've evaded the police for this long, and we'll do it some more."

"What if Y/N finds out who we are?" Clarissa asks after a pause.

"Y/N claims she has this gift that can read right through people," Frank chuckles. "If that were true, she'd have figured out who we were a long time ago. Let me worry about Y/N."

"Fine."

"I'll call you in a few days."

Frank hangs up before his wife can say anything else.

Ah, Y/N, my most prized possession.

"There is no witness so dreadful, no accuser so terrible as the conscience that dwells in the heart of every man." - Polybius

x

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[goldenempyrean]

loved the idea of carina having to drag maya home from work so what about vice versa? maya who maybe doesn't know carina is sick but she's on aid car and while she's there at grey's for a drop off she finds out carina is sick, something early in their relationship

As Long As You Need

〚 Notes - Thanks so much for anon to sending this in! It’s late and I’m tired so please excuse any errors :,) I have some more requests for these two which I’m hoping to get too soon! 〛

〚 Pairing - Maya Bishop x Carina Deluca 〛

〚 Summary - When Carina is sick at work, the only person who can convince her to go home is Maya 〛

〚 Wordcount - 2580 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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Her day had been fairly uneventful. Maya had been placed on the aid car with Andy so the two had been spending their time catching up with each other’s gossip in-between calls. Just a generally good day so far…

Until the alarm went off again. This call had been a little rougher. Several deep burns and a few cases smoke inhalation but no casualties luckily. However, the pair had decided that it would be in the best interest to get one of their patients checked out further so had turned on the flashing lights and made their way over to Grey Sloan.

The medical team was already waiting by the time they had pulled up in the drop-off bay. Dr. Bailey nodding as Andy relayed all the information whilst Maya helped unload the stretcher from the back.

“Thanks, you two.” Miranda smiled as she took a glance over the man on the stretcher, “He’ll be okay, we’ll take it from here. You made a good call to bring him to us.

Andy nodded, giving her thanks before heading back to the car to get started on the paperwork. Maya stood back and tied her laces but just as she went to turn away to head back to the car, her name was called out.

“Oh Maya?” Dr. Bailey stepped back, allowing the rest of the Doctors to wheel the patient inside, “Has Carina called you at all?”

Maya’s brows furrowed, her expression changing at the mention of her girlfriend, “No, I’ve been on calls- what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” She immediately began reaching into her back pocket to check her phone but there were no notifications waiting for her.

“No, no, don’t worry yourself, everything’s okay,” The doctor reached out to give the firefighter’s arm a comforting squeeze, “She’s just under the weather, we’ve been telling her she should probably go home but as you’ve probably noticed by now, she’s a stubborn little thing. Is there any chance you can convince her to go home?”

Maya’s worry softened at the reassurance, though concern still lingered in her eyes. “Thanks for letting me know, let me take the aid car back to the station and I’ll come collect her, okay?”

Now that she thought back to it, Carina hadn’t quite seemed herself last night. The Italian had pushed away her dinner after only a few bites. Not only that but she’d actually fallen asleep whilst the pair of them had been cuddled up and watching a movie.

This wouldn’t be too unusual in itself - Maya had noted that she had a habit of falling asleep during whatever movie she picked but Carina had chosen this one herself and still, after only half an hour, Maya could hear the gentle snoring coming from her cuddled up girlfriend beside her.

It didn’t matter. All that matters now was checking on Carina and to do that she had to finish her job first so she began packing up the aid car with a newfound hurry, "I’ll be back here as soon as I can.” She assured her as she shut the back doors to the car, thanked the doctor for letting her know and Dr. Bailey simply nodded offered a small smile as she watched the aid car pulling away.

“Is everything okay? What did Bailey have to say?” Andy asked from the driver’s seat as Maya climbed into the passenger side.

Maya sighed as she buckled her seatbelt and leaned back in the seat, "Carina's not feeling well. Bailey said she's been under the weather, and they've been urging her to go home."

Andy glanced at Maya; concern etched on her face as she drove a little faster. “Do you think it's serious?”

"I don't know. It’s probably just a bug, she was a little quiet last night though," Maya admitted, worry evident in her voice. "Is it okay if I come back to check on her after we’re done with this call?”

Andy gave her a comforting small, “Of course you can. We’ve only got a few more hours on shift so I’ll cover you. Just leave your gear back at the station and we can sort things out later.”

Once back at the station, Maya was quick to jump out of the aid car, practically stripping her gear as she jogged through the station.

“Everything alright? Where are you suddenly going in such a hurry?” Vic ran over as she noticed the worried expression on the blonde’s face as she jogged past, “How was the call?”

“Call was fine, we dropped the patient off at Grey Sloan but I’ve just gotta go back to check on Carina," Maya replied, her tone brisk as she headed towards the locker room to change out of her uniform.

“Carina? New, hot Italian girlfriend, Carina?” Vic teased as she followed along, chomping on one of the bagels Travis had brought into the station at the start of their shift.

Maya rolled her eyes as she pulled on, she pulled on her fresh shirt, “When we dropped off the patient, Bailey mentioned that Car’ isn’t feeling too good and probably needs taking home. So, I’m gonna go pick her up.” She explained as she knelt down to tie the laces of her shoes.

Vic's teasing expression softened into one of understanding and she gave Maya’s own a reassuring squeeze, "I hope she's okay. Let me know if you need anything, alright?"

Maya flashed a grateful smile before heading out of the locker room and towards the parking lot. She quickly climbed into her car and drove towards Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. Her mind was racing as she drove, the two of them hadn’t been together that long, she didn’t want to overstep any boundaries but at the same time the firefighter couldn’t help but worry for her.

As Maya parked her car outside the hospital, she took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Walking briskly through the corridors, she made her way to Carina’s office. She’d been there once already when she’d been picking her up for their second date, so she had remembered the way.

Maya gently knocked on Carina's office door, her heart pounding with worry. When there was no immediate response, she pushed the door open cautiously, peering inside.

Inside the dim room, she could make out the shape of her girlfriend slumped over, asleep at her desk, surrounded by crumpled tissues and patient files. Sympathy flooded Maya's chest as she approached quietly - not wanting to startle her with any unnecessary noise - she reached out to gently squeeze Carina's shoulder.

"Carina? Love? Hey, wake up sweetie.” Maya whispered softly, squatting down to be at her level, her spare hand rubbing comforting circles down her back.

Carina stirred, blinking sleepily as she looked up at Maya. She rubbed at her eyes, muffling a rough cough into the elbow before clearing her throat, "Maya? Wha- what are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you," Maya replied, her worry evident in her voice. "Dr. Bailey mentioned you weren't feeling well when I was here earlier, so I wanted to make sure you're okay. How are you doing?”

Carina gave her a weak smile, "I'm just... I just have a cold or something.” She sniffled, reaching clumsily for a tissue but ended up knocking the box off the table in the process, “Ugh, merda.”

Maya chuckled softly, picking up the tissue box and placing it back on the table. "Here love." She said, pulling a few tissues out and handing them to Carina. The doctor accepted the tissues with a grateful nod, blowing her nose before sighing heavily.

The firefighter frowned with concern, her heart aching at the sight of her girlfriend looking so worn out. Carina mumbled something inaudible as she let her head drop into her hands. She stayed still for a moment before her breath hitched. Maya had presumed she was crying and quickly pulled her into a hug, “Hey, hey you’re okay Car’, what’s up sweetheart?”

Carina girlfriend tried to shake her head and explain but was cut off by another helpless hitch. When she realised, Maya barely had time to react to what was going on before her girlfriend inhaled sharply before suddenly ducking her face into Maya’s sweatshirt with a loud sneeze.

Maya blinked in surprise, offering a chuckled “Bless you!” That was certainly louder than she’d expected. Her girlfriend was usually so cutesy and dainty, so she hadn’t really expected it. She smiled to herself, everything new she learnt about the Italian had her heart swelling just a little bit more.

She released her girlfriend from the hug, quickly straightening out the hair she’d ruffled in the process. “What are you smiling for, I literally just sneezed on you.” Carina mumbled in embarrassment as she noticed the firefighter's stupid grin.

“Because you’re adorable darling.” Maya continued to smile as she pressed a loving kiss down to the doctor’s forehead. It was that action that made her notice the obvious heat that was clearly radiating from her. She repeated the action, this time leaving her lips against her skin for a little longer.

“I think you’re running a little bit of a temperature babe.”

Carina shook her head before turning away to muffle a rough cough into the upper sleeve of her scrubs, “No, no. I’m cold, too cold.”

"Maybe we should take your temp’ just to be sure." Maya fetched a thermometer from the nearby cabinet and gently persuaded Carina to let her take her temperature. She reluctantly complied with a stubborn sniffle, feeling too weak to protest much.

After a few moments, the device beeped, and Maya read the thermometer and frowned. "You've got a fever, Car'. It's not too high, but it's definitely there."

Carina sighed, leaning back against the chair. "I'll be fine, Maya. I just need to rest."

Maya shook her head, concern etched on her face. "You need more than rest, love. You're not well enough to be work. You need to go home and take care of yourself properly,”

Carina started to protest, but a sudden fit of coughing cut her off. Maya waited patiently until the coughing subsided before continuing. "I mean it, I’ve never seen you sick before. I just want you to feel better and you’re not gonna be able to unless you actually rest.”

The blonde reached out to squeeze her girlfriend’s hands gently, “If it was the other way round, you’d saying the exact same. So please let me take you home.

Carina let out a defeated sigh, her shoulders slumping as she realised she couldn't argue with Maya's logic and she knew that she could barely aim her tissues into the trashcan 3 feet away, never mind help deliver a baby.

“Si, I'll go home.” Her voice sounded so rough as she spoke and she couldn’t quite fight back the shiver that rolled down her arms, “I just need to get my things.”

“You don’t worry about that, just put this on, okay?” Maya smiled lovingly, taking off her hoodie and pressing it into the arms of her girlfriend before looking around the office to see what Carina needed to take home with her.

A small, polite knock came from the office entrance just as the firefighter had offered out a hand to help Carina stand up from her chair - she’d been a little wobbly and had immediately sat back down after her first attempt. Maya looked up towards the door, offering a sympathetic smile when she saw Amelia leaning against the doorframe, balled up tissue in one hand and a steaming mug of tea in the other, “You too?” She asked but the answer the pretty clear.

The doctor nodded, sniffling quietly, “Its going round,” she croaked, giving a small pout, “I take it you’re here to convince her to go home?”

“It took a while to convince her,” Maya shook her head fondly as she gathered her girlfriend’s things up, “You know how she is. She’s stubborn.” The Italian gave an unimpressed mumble in response, rolling her eyes at them both before she shivered again and pulled Maya’s hoodie.

“I know exactly what you mean.” Amelia joked, before turning away to muffle a cough of her own, “I’m gonna go back to my office before I pass on this crap to anyone, I hope feel better Carina’.”

Carina nodded and waved her friend goodbye, “You too.”

Maya laid a comforting hand on her girlfriend’s back, looking around a final time before nodding to herself, “That’s everything, I think. You ready to go home now darling?”

As they stepped out into the cool evening air, Maya draped her arm around Carina's shoulders. They walked slowly to Maya's car, Maya gently guiding her into the passenger seat and making sure she was comfortable before closing the door and quickly climbing in the other side.

Once they were settled inside, Maya adjusted the temperature controls to make things a little more comfortable for Carina. She glanced over at her girlfriend, who was bundled up in the hoodie, looking small and vulnerable.

"Feeling okay, sweetheart?" Maya asked as they drove home, the roads were a little quieter at this time, so the car had settled into a steady rhythm.

“Si, grazie.” Carina nodded, hiding a yawn into the sleeve of her borrowed hoodie as she sat with her head resting in her knees which she’d tucked up to her chest - probably not the safest position to be sitting in when inside a moving vehicle but she was too tired to care.

Maya smiled a little to herself. She hadn’t made the connection until now but she’d noticed that Carina’s accent was just the slightest bit thicker whenever she wasn’t feeling well. Somehow slipping into her mother-tongue must’ve comforted her just that little bit more.

She reached over to gently brush a strand of hair away from Carina's forehead, feeling the warmth radiating from her skin. "We'll get you home and tucked into bed soon I promise.”

She kept that promise as it was barely 10 minutes before the two were pulling into a parking spot outside Carina’s apartment complex. Maya helped Carina out of the car and up to her apartment, supporting her as they made their way inside. The doctor had fumbled with her keys a little, but she finally unlocked the door and gave a stuffy sigh of relief.

“Home.” She murmured to herself, sniffling a little as Maya echoed her statement before fidgeting a little with her hands, her feet seemingly unable to stay still.

“Bambina?”

“Are you gonna be okay here? I mean, I can run out and grab you some things or I can just leave you to rest, or-“ Maya rambled and began to turn away, not wanting to disturb her girlfriend anymore incase she just wanted to sleep this off alone.

“Stay?” Carina whispered, catching Maya’s wrist just before she took a step away.

Maya smiled giddily. “I’m not going anywhere, don’t you worry,” She grinned, her arm coming to gently guide Carina to her bedroom - where upon arrival, the Italian instantly flopped into the duvet, not bothers to even kick off her shoes before climbing underneath the covers, making grabby hands towards her girlfriend. Who could resist such cuteness? The blonde couldn’t hold back another warm smile as she joined Carina on the bed, letting the brunette nestle into her before planting a soft kiss to her forehead.

“I’m gonna be here as long as you need.”

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[afewproblems]

and there you go hurtin' me so good again with the continuation of your cheating!Eddie steddie fic.. thank you! <3

Based on Part One, and this Ask here,

I was chatting with @samcoxramblings yesterday about this and I think maybe there should be some Steve POV, as a treat.

If Steve thought about the last few weeks of his life alongside every other instant of sorrow and pain he'd experienced, his relationship with Nancy, the Upside Down, the death of Barb, his parents, he'd say he should be used to this sort of thing by now.

But perhaps he'd been spoiled.

He'd had more than twenty years of happiness, contentedness, with Eddie and their life together. He'd relaxed too much, and here was the other shoe crashing down.

The home phone line in their apartment has been ringing off the hook, reporters have been trying to get ahold of him to see his side of things, leaving messages and one bold enough to come to their apartment leaves a letter taped to their door.

Steve disconnectes the phone and installs another lock after that.

And speaking of letters, there have been a mix delivered to their shared PO Box, some in support of Steve, sympathetic to the situation, others are ecstatic --seeing it as their chance to wedge their way into his marriage just like the last person, that they've always hated Steve and can't wait to see him gone.

He only reads a few letters before letting them pile up on the side table by the door.

All because of that stupid photo.

There was no discernable face in the photo, or photos, that ended up online.

Just Eddie talking animatedly to someone facing away from the camera view. It pieces together the evening, a meet cute, a conversation, walking out of the bar together, and a passionate kiss before getting into a taxi.

Eddie confirms it, and it's like his heart breaks in two.

There are a million questions rattling around in his head.

How many times has this happened? How long has Eddie been lying to him, was this a one time thing or have they been secretly meeting one another for multiple tours? Does the band know? Have they been lying to his face as well?

Steve feels as though he's been on autopilot, walking around in a fog while at home, and mechanically moving through his lesson plans while at school.

To make matters worse, his principal calls him at home after the news breaks.

"Steve, how are you doing? I'm so sorry to hear," she tells him solemnly over the line, "if there is anything we can do please let us know".

"Thank you Liz, I, I really appreciate it," Steve hums, his voice much more level than it has been in awhile, "I'll take Spring break to finish up my marking and get my head on straight before we're back--"

"Steve, I'm sorry, I think," she hesitates, Steve can hear her pace around her office, her signature kitten heels click against the tiled floor, "I think it would be best if you take a little longer than Spring Break".

He feels his stomach drop into his shoes, no, no, they can't...

"What, what are you talking about, are you--"

"No, no, of course not," her voice shrill, panicked and tinny, over the line as she backpeddles, "no, we just think it would be better for you and the kids if you took some time away. We have a sub lined up and this wouldn't be permanent, just until it dies down".

"You can't be serious Liz, come on, their finals are coming up at the end of the month and I've never let my personal life affect my job before and I'm not about to start now, I don't need a leave of absence, I'm fine," he lies.

It has been difficult to get through class, to ignore the whispers from the kids during break or while they work in groups. He can feel curious eyes follow him in between the desks as he walks around for questions.

Liz sighs into the line and all at once knows the conversation is over, that it was never a conversation to begin with.

"Look, you're the best department head we've had in a long time Steve, and I want you back, fresh, for the kids. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now and I know this isn't what you wanted but I think it will be for the best".

"How long?" Steve manages to say, so softly that Liz asks him to repeat himself.

"Excluding the break, I'll say three weeks, so you can be back to see them through their exams," she sighs again, "the school year isn't over yet Steve, you'll still have lots of time with them".

Steve raises a shaking hand to his hair, running his fingers through it from root to tip. It could be good to take that time, Robin had asked him if he would when they initially spoke. It could give him a chance to think about what to do.

But, at this point, he worries if he stops moving, if he slows down, he won't be able to stop the grief he can feel, knocking at his window.

"Okay, okay, Liz, I'll take some time".

***

Steve finishes his marking in record time, but perhaps it's easy when one doesn't sleep.

He reorganizes the pantry twice, deep cleans all the storage closets, he throws every piece of clothing in the house into the laundry, including Eddie's, drops off the dry cleaning, and washes the walls.

He moves the furniture around and finds himself looking at rentable scaffolding to see about finally starting that painting project he's been thinking about.

It's only Wednesday.

One by one his family begin to reach out as the news begins to circulate more prominently in the regular entertainment news outlets. Hopper and Joyce call, Joyce asks Steve if he wants to come back to Hawkins for a bit, that their door is always open for him, just as it was when he was in his twenties. Hopper tells him all Steve needs to do is give him the word and he'll be in Chicago with a shovel, no questions asked.

Steve thanks Joyce and gives Hopper an emphatic, 'NO,' but he appreciates them all the same.

Dustin innocently brings up that he'll be in Chicago for a few days the following week, that Robin offered Steve's guest room to him, and Steve finds himself smiling while shaking his head at the co-conspirators.

All of the kids call at least once, but they are busy themselves, none of them are on a leave of absence after all, he thinks bitterly to himself.

Thursday afternoon there's a knock at his door, Steve is in the middle of changing out the old washer from the kitchen sink -finally getting around to fixing the small leak, he freezes at the sound.

He's not expecting anyone and even though he and Robin are nearly joined at the hip she still has the decency to call before showing up at his door.

Steve climbs out from under the sink and wipes his hands on the nearest towel before slowly walking towards the door. All the locks are still bolted from the night before, so he feels safer leaning in to peer through the peephole.

It's Wayne?

Steve feels his heart begin to race, what on earth was Wayne doing here? Was Eddie with him? Corroded Coffin was still on tour, he couldn't be.

He hazards another glance through the peephole but he can't tell if there is anyone else in the hall.

Wayne knocks again making Steve jump at the sudden noise.

Steve breathes in deeply through his nose and out through his mouth once, twice, before he unlocks both bolts and the chain with shaking hands, he opens the door a fraction.

"Wayne? What are you doing here?" Steve says softly, he steps aside to let the man through.

"I came to check on you," Wayne says after a beat, he wipes his feet on the second mat inside and shrugs off his red windbreaker. Steve tries to take the jacket to hang it up but raises his hands in surrender as Wayne waves him off and opens the closet to hang it up himself.

Steve takes him into the kitchen and puts on a pot of coffee, they never did invest in one of those single serve coffee machines, Eddie drank so much coffee when he was home that it made no sense and, 'brewed coffee just tates better Stevie'.

Steve shakes the memory away and grabs two mugs from the cupboard, "Just sugar right?"

He reaches for the empty sugar bowl as Wayne nods, he hovers awkwardly as Steve flits around the kitchen.

Steve grabs the sugar from their pantry and fills up the bowl before placing it on the table with a spoon.

"So," Steve sighs as he leans against the counter next to the coffee maker, it hisses and bubbles filling the air with the smell of brewing coffee, "Eddie put you up to this, huh?"

Wayne frowns but nods, "Call it the first good decision that dumb-ass has made in the last few weeks," he scratches the graying scruff on his cheeks and steps closer, "how are you doing son?

Steve wants to tell him about how he hasn't let himself even think about the future. How he told Eddie he couldn't come home yet, how he's so achingly lonely despite the number of people that have reached out. How he doesn't want to think about a life without Eddie, but that he also can't imagine being in the same room as him for more that a minute without wanting to just scream at him.

How, Steve firmly believed that he would lose the man standing in his doorway, how his friendship with Gareth and Chrissy would inevitably fracture over Eddie, and once again Steve would be alone, picking up the pieces of his life to start again.

Instead, he manages to say, "I'm so glad you're here," before stepping into Wayne's arms, and allowing himself to be held as he finally, finally cries.

Wayne's arms come around him firmly, he reaches one hand up to cradle Steve's head while the other rubs his back, "its okay son, I gotcha," he whispers as Steves shoulders shake and his chest stutters.

"I gotcha".

[buddiebeginz]

I hear what you’re saying and I love and appreciate the positivity but I’m just tired at this point. It feels like Fox all over again where its roads leading to buddie until the end of the season when it’s suddenly *storylines drive off in a random unsatisfying direction for Buck and Eddie and their LI’s* as the network goes hahah you silly shippers. You’re insane for thinking that was happening. We have no idea what you’re talking about or why you would even think that was a possibility. (But please stick around as we gaslight you into thinking it’s happening again next season before we do this all over at the end. 😜)

I understand why you'd feel that way and trust me I've been around for all of it and been burnt by the show time and time again so I get how you feel but I do believe this time is different. I think we're closer now to Buddie than we have ever been before.

If Buddie wasn't happening I truly believe Tim would have handled Buck's coming out in a way different way. He's not stupid and he knows how much people ship Buddie. Yet he made Buck's bi awakening ep all about Eddie. He's also had Buck and Eddie more connected than ever this season. There's also been very little of B/T and T*mmy. That's not the way you get an audience to become invested in a new ship. If Tim was really all about T*mmy and B/T we would have had more development with them yet they've barely had any real meaningful conversations

I also think that there would have been so much less press about Buddie. We've had more talk about Buddie by major press sites (ones that never talked about them before) like Rolling stone and People mag than we've ever had before. Tim and ABC (and the actors) could have made the decision early on this season to answer the Buddie question a couple of times to be firm and make sure people knew it wasn't in the plans. Yet not only have they not shut Buddie down but they continue to talk about it time and time again and the response is always basically that they want to take their time and do the story right. Also remember that questions are preapproved by the network and the actors team. If they didn't want to talk about Buddie they wouldn't be like in previous seasons when most of the time they didn't.

I get being scared to get your hopes up and of being let down again I'm scared about that too. More than anything I just really want to see Buck and Eddie finally be together. Not even just because I ship them but because I know how momentous and important it will be when that happens. I'm also tired of waiting for 911 to finally bring them together but I think we just have to be patient for a little longer because Tim and the rest of them only have one chance to get this right. I know a lot of us have been waiting years but considering they just moved to ABC and Tim just came back in a way it's like we're starting over again. But that's been a good thing I think for the characters and the show and everything feels like it's on a good track for Buddie to happen way more than we were after seasons 5 and 6.

Another thing is that the closer a will they/won't they ship gets to finally coming together shows will usually up the drama so we think it's not going to happen so then when it does it's more emotionally rewarding. So whatever is in store for Buddie right now even if they have a falling out (like some of the spoilers hint to) and even if B/T make things official going into s8 that doesn't meant Buddie is off the table. S7 did the most to let us know that Buck and Eddie know each other and get each other and are there for each other more than anyone else is for them and that relationship will always shine through above any other.

Try not to let the drama in fandom and whatever happens in the finale get you down. We can and always will be able to ship Buddie and celebrate that relationship regardless of whether or not they're canon. Message anytime. ❤️

[breakfastteatime]

I keep thinking about the astrography of the Koboh system and I'm wondering if anyone's got any clear answer on on how Koboh, its moon, and Tanalorr/the Abyss behave in relation to each other. Can I ask what you think?

Because for the arrays to work, that specific part of Koboh and the part of the moon with the station both have to be facing Tanalorr. And of course they have to be close enough: Tanalorr can't have its own orbit like Mars or most of the time it'll be way across another part of that solar system, so I figure they've got to be binary planets, orbiting around each other and moving together around their star.

And, given that we see the Abyss in the sky over Ramblers' Reach in both daytime and nighttime, they've got to be tidally locked, or at least Koboh does. Otherwise you'd have to wait to activate the array until Koboh's orbit has come back around to face the Abyss at whatever time of day that is, and I don't think we say the Abyss move round the sky much, right?

So all that can be explained… but then I've got to wonder: How the hell can anyone, Empire idiots or otherwise, see a giant planet-size nebula spining around Koboh in a stable orbit, a nebula with the same gravitational pull as a planet, and NOT wonder "hey, what if there's something planet-sized in there?"

I know the answer is handwavey plot necessities and I'm overthinking things, but… there could be some interesting plotbunnies in there.

Has there been any talk about this anywhere that you've heard?

As always, love your work! <3

You are way, way, WAY smarter than I am. Wow!Just let me bask in your genius for a moment.

You're right - I don't think the Abyss moves... and oh, how I wish we could explore Koboh at night throughout the game!

I did mention in a "what do I want in Jedi 3" post a while back that Tanalorr is going to have to come under some kind of existential threat in the next game because all stories need jeopardy. We know the Empire is on Koboh and there's an entire Star Destroyer in the sky in the post-game of Survivor. They don't appear to be searching for anything in particular (I may have missed it, but I don't think the troopers say "hey, I hear that Jedi terrorist is lurking here somewhere!" unlike literally every Raider) so I don't think they're there for Cal specifically. More like Koboh's the next world on their galactic conquest. However, it's likely that the more they see, the more they will explore. We know from JFO that Palpatine wants relics of other Force cultures, so maybe he'll show an interest in what was left behind on Koboh...

We also know from the game's finale that the arrays overload and now the only way to get to Tanalorr is to 1) be a damn good pilot, and, 2) be a Jedi, or have one very close by, or 3) have a compass. So there's a really good chance that, with the Empire having a presence on Koboh, they'll notice all the comings and goings through the Abyss and start exploring... and exploding. You have to imagine initially Cal and co will be able to rely on anyone following them in getting 'sploded by the Koboh Matter, but what if someone gets lucky, gets through, and does find Tanalorr and alerts the Empire??? There's your jeopardy.

I hope they have lots of ships of Tanalorr and plenty of people to repaint them regularly to make the Empire think anyone going in there is also dying because they never see the same ship twice...

This is fun to think about!!! And makes me curious to know what the final game will do with this. Maybe it'll be a case of they decide to seal off Tanalorr for the safety of those there.... Maybe Cal does that and he stays behind... Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Thanks for the Ask, and the kind words! I better get back to some writing!!

[elmundodeflor]

Levi and Hanji reunite one day, in the after-life...

Because softness is grazed to those who wait .

Waves crash against the shores, roll in a whisper that's as soft as the winds. Where is he?

He opens up his eyes. There's sand all around him, seeping through his clothes. It doesn't take long for him to recognize the widened coasts, golden and warm. The land where he had once been happy, free as the roaring of the seas.

But, how did he end up here? All he remembers was shutting his eyes close to sleep. Saying goodbye to Gabi and Falco, as he would on any other night.

Why aren't they here, then? They wouldn't let him wander off alone.

He stands, lets the breeze tug at his hair, hushed-down and tender. It seems, the sun shines with newfound sparkle. That the skies merge into one with the waters, and nothing can hurt him anymore.

Maybe, he thinks, it's that the ocean sings and there's only lullabies left to hear. That the air smells of sweet beginnings, and war is nothing but a distant memory, lit somewhere on his skin.

He walks, fast as his muscles allow him to. One. Two. Three. His legs move, swift and harmless as they've ever been. It feels, like he's learning how to do life again. That he's just a regular human who's been given a second chance at loving.

He guesses, it's why he doesn't appear surprised when he can take yet another step. There’re no more battles to be set. No more aching on his heart. And little there is of that once broken soldier.

Now, he can be a reckless spirit. Can paint himself all the colors of the sunset. He can choose a million different paths and hide in a million different planets.

He smiles. Something has bloomed from deep within, burns impatient at the idea of liberation. And, as he crouches down to touch the ground once more, he's certain: his time had come.

His soul has spread its wings, brighter than every sunrise.

"Levi!", a voice calls from the distance. And his heart stops, all of a sudden. Sinks at how his name sounds on their lips.

Hanji. Hanji Zoe. He would have known it was them, even at the ends of the world.

He runs. One. Two. Three. His breath falters, and his limbs are numb and the one thing that lingers is the trace of his footprints, fading on the shores. Perhaps, he promises, this time around he’ll leave everything behind. He'll seek the horizons and never look back. Here, where spring grows ever long, there's no room for tragedy. No place to mourn what once was.

"Hanji!"

He's going to see them again. After all these years. They are going to be together for good. Together at last.

They turn to him, and open up their arms, like he's been gone and this is a long-due call home. Like a lifetime's slipped between them and they wanna smash into him, ever so carefree.

"You came back for me...", they whisper, breathless. They're melded with the waters; their clothes melting into foam. A smile buzzes on their lips, broad as the seas below. And Levi thinks, sure enough, he'd trade until the last of his heartbeat to make this moment eternal. To stand the two of them, forever in their little scraps of heaven.

He nods, nuzzles in the comfort of their chest. Hanji's pulse is calm and warm and steady. A rhythmic melody that's turned to song. And he decides, maybe, he'll make a home out of its compass. Guard it a secret, forever safe within his fist.

Do they know, how many dreams he's ached just to hold them close? How many nights he's bled out their name?

"I had to...", he says, hushed against their skin. There's a tear that falls, followed by one and then another. He'd buried love more times than he'd seen it bloom. Had said goodbye with his tongue tied and his eyes wide-opened.

Still, this is his very first reunion. The sweetest of them all. The bare proof that there's a ray of illusion that parts through one's grief.

He steps back to look at Hanji. How their hair flows with the breeze, braided with golden and salt. The way their face glows with every certainty: wild, yet angelic all the same.

They have been the sunshine to his rain. His bindweed roots, in a universe that could only crumble into flames.

How could he not come back for them? It was the only wish his heart had flown for.

"I...", he cracks. His voice is shattered, a low rasp that blurs into the currents. Hanji wipes the sorrows away; their thumb catching off the drops that unravel, soft as the morning dew.

And he can see it clear. A realization that scars him deeper than the day they left:

They're crying, too.

"I've missed you, Levi.", they sob. They're so close, he can feel the pink of their blush. Count the pulse in every breath. "I've missed you so much."

He exhales, in and out. He had always been one to crave in silence. A lone spectator that yearned from the trenches. Truth was, fate had taken more than he could give. That he had to grow layers not to be left with just his soul to carry.

But none of it matters anymore.

Not when him and Hanji can have the skies all for themselves. That forever's a blank canvas, and they can go on adventures, like they're little kids again.

He leans in, tucks a strand of brown behind their ear. Words have never been his greatest virtue. And so, he guesses, he can finally start now, after all.

"I've missed you..."

Hanji smiles, cups his face before their lips meet. It’s a soft kiss. One that’s filled with a life-time of tenderness. Their mouths press, one over the other: warm and steady and fearless. And, it seems, years of repressed emotion come afloat. Like the perfume of a sunny day. Like the perching of a butterfly.

Levi hums into the kiss, tugs Hanji by the waist. Their hands are on his hair; his explore their back. He wants to paint and hug and discover each scrap that there’s to them. To run across the beach and jump to the moon; for he’s got happiness between his fingers, once. After all this hurting. After all this time.

He pulls away. His nose nudges against theirs, seeks constellations inside their irises. He has the feeling, that fortune shines on him, at last. That, maybe, everything will be just like before, when their eyes were filled with possibility and stars were new for them to catch.

Do they know, how many sunsets he’s prayed to? How many pieces had he been torn to, just to guard their memory?

He kisses them again and again, and again once more. Kisses them long and hard and tender, as if life could freeze in the traces of their touch. He kisses them sweet and sour, and broader than the skies. For all those other nights he couldn't kiss them while on Earth.

Hanji holds him dear, puts their arms around every crevice in his body. They can taste the salt in his tears, how they mingle with the flutter of their mouths. And they want to rock him to the waves, sail away from every scar.

"Have I ever told you...?", they whisper, like sugar on his lips. It's a promise that bares them whole, a confession meant just for him to savor. "How beautiful you are...?'

Levi stays still. He had been called many honors in the breathing world, but never this. It means more than he can claim to, really. That he's drawn in such delicate lights. That he's turned to a precious landscape, as if his vulnerable is something worth to keep.

Was Hanji aware, how long he'd waited for the words to slip? How bad he'd burnt, trapped in every aching fantasy?

He pulls them in again, squeezes so tight they might as well collapse. He can't remember when it was the last time someone had made him feel seen, unshielded of all that he is. The sleepless nights he'd yearned for anybody to discover the pretty to his broken.

He sighs. Hanji handles him with care. Like he's a fallen comet and they're scared they'll make him melt. It’s the brightest of comforts, really: how they stroke his cheeks, oh so gentle. How he can show his imperfect to someone who simply understands.

“Will you go again…?”, he asks. His voice falters, and he’s a kid all over. That same child who’d been once left to grow so quick.

Hanji shakes their head. Levi could be silly sometimes. But they love him so, even at that. After all, he had always been like this beneath the surface. The fissures on fine porcelain. The craters on the moon. The colors of the wind.

How could they not come back for him? It was the only wish their heart had ever starved for.

“I’m not going anywhere…”, they reassure, kissing the tears off his skin. It’s an oath that’s easy to make, this time around. That they can hold each other safe, where infinity meets the shores. That they can show themselves bare, play hide and seek.

Levi smiles, even through the rainfall. And he nods, throws himself into Hanji once more. After all, it had always been like this with them, too. In the end, they had always been one to keep their promises.

“We’ll be together, for a life-time and beyond.”

[ricciardoswife]

Meeting The Cousins

Endless love masterlist

Summary: olivia meets her cousins for the first time

Warninga: toothrotting fluff

Before Daniel races in Singapore this year him y/n and baby Olivia are going to take a flying visit back home to Perth to see their family but there's two very special people who haven't met olivia in person yet and they are Daniels niece isabella and nephew Isaac. But Isaac and isabella don't know their coming.

"Hey darling do you think there going to be surprised to see us and finally being able to meet olivia in person" Daniel asked y/n as he finished burping olivia as the plane was landing. "Ohh they for sure are have you seen their faces everytime we facetime them it's pure excitement to see their cousin ot to mention the countless times they've asked when can they hold her, Their excitement is going to be through the roof when they see her" y/n beamed.

As daniel pulled the car up outside his sisters house he knew him and his wife were feeling equally excited about finally being able to bring olivia to meet her cousins but also to be able to bring her to the one place the both of them love and the one place they will always call home Perth.

"I'll get the baby bag if you want to get olivia" y/n said unbuckling her bealt while smiling at daniel. The pair walked up to the front daniel was carry olivia in her car seat while y/n knocked on the door although it was early in the morning it was evident that isaac and isabella was up from all the laughter the couple could hear from inside. Daniels sister michelle answered the door wit a massive smile on her face. "I thought you guys weren't getting here until later" she asked them quietly trying not to draw any attention to who was at the door. "We decided to get an earlier flight, now let me in so I can see my nephew and niece" Daniel said giggling. "Well will you hurry up and get in here so I can see my niece and get those cuddles I've been waiting for" michelle replied playfully slapping daniel on the arm. Y/n just stood there laughing watching the siblings squabble. "ok come both of you guys please stop standing in my doorway and come in" michelle told them. Daniel and y/n followed michelle into the sitting room as she called for isaac and isabella to come see something.

As daniel took an awake olivia out of her car seat and y/n set the baby bag on the ground isaac and isabella came rushing into the living room and stopped dead in their tracks when they saw who else was in the living room. "Uncle daniel aunt y/n" they but screamed at the top of their lungs in excitement as they started to run towards the two though as they got closer they stopped again when they realised daniel was holding a baby. "Is that baby Olivia" isaac asked curiously as isabella gave y/n a hug.

"Yes it is buddy would you like to hold her" Daniel asked isaac as he started to sit on the couch eith olivia still in his hands. Isaacs face lit up "YES" is all he said before hopping onto the couch and holding out his arms to take his cousin. "Aunty y/n" isabella called you while pulling at the sleeve of your jumper. You crouch down to be at eye leve with her "what's up" y/n asked her. "Do I get to hold baby Olivia to" she asked quietly. "Of course you do, do you want to sit next to uncle daniel on the couch and he will put her in your arms" before y/n was even able to finish her sentence isabella was on the couch hugging daniel. Y/n took the chance to snap a picture of isaac with his cousin before Daniel put olivia into isabellas hands making sure her head was supported. Isabellas face lit up the minute olivia smiled back up at her and y/n was thankful she got a picture of the two of them.

"So how are you isaac" y/n asked sitting down next to the young boy. "I'm soooo good especially now that you guys are here and I finally got to meet olivia, she's so cute and she smiled at me aunty y/n " isaac replied cheerfully. Y/n just smiled back at him as she savoured this moment of watching daniwl in between is niece and nephew while all three were trying to get olivia to smile again.

"Do you guys think we could go to the beach and showi t ot oliva" isaac and isabella asked at the same time. "I think that's and excellent idea" Daniel replied.

Soo I had to write this after I saw this photo the idea just came into my head and pulled at my heartstrings 🥺 the cuteness overload in this picture is just 🥰🥺

Also just for record I do not know the names of Daniels niece or nephew I've just seen these names in other fics and on other post I've read

Also finally another written part to endless love sorry it took so long

Not proofread

Enjoy 🥰

[zarahjoyce]

MITD Fic: aftermath

Summary:

"Isn't it weird, Hyung?" Jun O tells his brother, just after they've eaten a particularly delicious dinner that Min O had prepared for him. "I felt like... I fell in love with someone without me falling in love with her. Like I miss her all the time but at the same time I don't and it's just--" He rubs his forehead and sighs aloud. "I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes."

or

Jun O, in the aftermath.

Notes:

I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT MOON IN THE DAY THAT I CAN'T STOP MYSELF FROM WRITING THIS... THING IDK.

now also with Ao3 link!

--

Protect Kang Yeong Hwa. I need to keep Kang Yeong Hwa safe.  Jun O finds himself often waking up in the middle of the night, shaking, sweating, breathing hard. The thoughts beat in his mind like a drum, growing louder and louder until he's deafened by them. He drags his hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down, trying to keep his chest from bursting. 

Protect her from what? Why do I need to keep her safe? He doesn't hear any answer, however.

He never did.

And he's left wondering what that was all about for the rest of the night.

-

Min O notices the bags under Jun O's eyes, but never comments on them.

"Did you sleep well?" he asks instead.

No. I never do.

"You know, Hyung," Jun O quietly replies, playing around with his food without any urge to eat them, "I know I told myself that I wouldn't feel curious about--" 

He stops.

Kang Yeong Hwa. Even the mere thought of her name makes Jun O feel a deep sense of... yearning? Longing? For a woman he barely knew. 

Which is ridiculous, of course.

So, he just draws a deep breath.

And forces a smile for his brother's sake. 

"Never mind," he says instead. "What's my schedule for today?"

-

He finds that handling a sword came so natural to him, it felt like he's been doing it his entire life. Like it's an extension of his limb. Like cutting lives is something he did everyday. 

Don't even get him started on how ridiculously easy it was for him to hit a bullseye with an arrow - something he'd been awful at before. 

"Who knew I'd find sageuk dramas so easy to do?" Jun O muses out loud, patting himself on the back for a job well done - according to the director, no less. 

Manager Jang glances at him from the driver's seat. "Yeah," he says, and Jun O frowns at the odd tone of his voice. "Who knew." 

Dismissing that, Jun O gets his phone to scroll for articles praising his acting abilities - as they should - when he blurts out, "You're in contact with Kang Yeong Hwa, right? How is she?"

Thankfully, they were waiting for a green light, giving Manager Jang a chance to actually turn to him and say, "How'd you--"

"You're dating her friend, right? The one she thinks of as her sister. The one who owes her--"

And then Jun O shuts his mouth, and stares at his manager in horror. "I knew that? How do I know that?"

"T-that was what I was about to ask you," Manager Jang replies. "By any chance, do you actually remember--"

The car behind them honks its horn.

Jun O rubs his forehead.

"Drive," he orders Yoon Je. "Just... just drive."

-

By pure chance, his next project was about him being a firefighter. 

Jun O dreaded coming to the fire station. If only because that meant the possibility of coming face to face with--

Kang Yeong Hwa. And his heart skips a beat. 

Manager Jang must have noticed his obvious discomfort. "You know," he says, "if you're worried about seeing Kang--"

"Worried? Who said I'm worried? Are you worried? I'm not worried!" Jun O replies in rapid succession, scoffing all the while. "Why would I be--"

"She actually left yesterday," his manager continues. "For Antartica. So you won't be seeing her anymore."

Jun O stares at his manager.

"--oh," he says.

A beat.

"That's good," Jun O adds. "That she's... gone. That's good."

Except he felt like weeping. 

-

"Isn't it weird, Hyung?" Jun O tells his brother, just after they've eaten a particularly delicious dinner that Min O had prepared for him. "I felt like... I fell in love with someone without me falling in love with her. Like I miss her all the time but at the same time I don't and it's just--" He rubs his forehead and sighs aloud. "I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes."

Min O pats his hand. "Do you want to see her?" 

"No," Jun O replies quickly - which tells him that that was honestly what he was feeling. "No. It'll fade, whatever this is. I just need to bear it. I did beat cancer, of all things. I can beat this phantom feeling too." 

"That's right. Just persevere and you'll win." His brother smiles at him. "You're growing up, Jun O. I'm glad."

Except this didn't feel like growing up.

It just feels like he's lost.

-

But Han Jun O perseveres.

-

The next few years flew by in a hurry. Thankfully, Jun O's schedule had been packed with projects that he hadn't had enough time to mind anything else. 

Today, however, he's scrolling through his phone, browsing through the news to find anything related to him when he spots--

--an article about a miracle firefighter saving lives from a burning building - including a pregnant woman and her three children.

Kang Yeong Hwa, was the firefighter's name, written in bold print. 

And Jun O waits for that achy feeling that haunted him before to envelope him at the mere sight of it.

Except it never came.

Come to think of it, he couldn't even remember the last time he thought of her.

And even now that he is, Jun O doesn't at all feel... overwhelmed. 

Just... happy. At the thought of her living her life and saving lives in the process. 

He sighs and smiles in relief.

I'm free of you, Kang Yeong Hwa. Finally. Guess this means I win.

[finite-breakpoints]

trust issues (Angstpril 2024, #9)

[ Previously: emotionally distant // no way out // never see you again ]

"What is this place?"

Paige hates the unsteadiness in her voice, echoing even at a whisper -- this isn't the time or place for fear, let alone displaying it. Standing here in a long-abandoned building on the edge of a city no longer familiar, where no one will hear if she calls for help, shivering in the cold.

But if not now… when?

"Temporary accommodations. Used to be an off-cycle stopover for the light-rail, before the track got re-routed." For a program who seemingly spends most of their time committing sedition and thinking of new ways to instigate civil unrest, Signal's voice is surprisingly soft. "Might be some network programs around, if we're lucky. Last I knew, there were a few of 'em crashing here, in and out."

They look more like a data processor than a hardened revolutionary. Maybe that's the point. But Paige can see it too clearly for it to be entirely a facade -- cautious in their movements; a fastidiousness about their appearance; sandy hair pinned back with studied precision. Not very tall, kind of spindly. Not exactly built for fighting.

But then again… neither is she.

"If we're lucky, huh?"

"Sure. They're friendly, mostly harmless. Good kids." Signal hands her the heated canister they've just finished preparing. "Here. This should help. Might be a bit strong, though."

"Thanks." She waits a moment first; and they notice, making a point of pouring the rest into their own glass with a playful grin. She wonders what's hiding underneath it -- watching as they skim through the documents on the data cube. Faster than should be possible, but she has no doubt they're taking in every word.

Sips at the concentrated energy idly, feels the warmth of it even out in her circuits. It is strong stuff, the kind you only need in unpowered places like this… or when your energy processing's been altered by constant direct input. Straight into your circuits, for cycles on end, until your body and mind start to give out.

Yeah. Data processor for sure. Or at least they used to be. She'd bet on the presence of those telltale silver scars at the base of their neck and across their shoulders. Not many of them left, not now. She worked with so many of them at the medical center -- sealing re-opened ports, tapering down their energy levels as safely as she could. It's entirely possible that Signal was one of them.

"…Who knows you're here, Paige?"

Oh, there it is. Her hands are shaking, and not from the cold. Keep it together -- but what does she have to hold together, anymore?

"Lie," hisses the sharp voice in the back of her mind. But what's the point? Tesler will be hunting for her soon, once he realizes what she's done. She has no home to welcome her. No sense of purpose, not now. No friends to lean on for support. Nowhere to go, and no one she can trust.

Only one program's offered her a way out of this.

"No one," she says. "I'm a program of my word."

"So I hear." And that smile turns to something a little less reassuring. "But Tesler seems to know -- and that means General Advan does, too. I don't know if she'll cooperate, if he decides he wants to look for you. But I'd rather not take that chance."

"…What do you mean?"

"I mean that you need to hide, and quickly. They'll be tracking your data signature. We need to fix that… and your metadata, too. Let me see your disc."

"No." She steps back, purely out of instinct, as an acute sense of danger grips her. But she can take them in a fight, if it comes to that. "Not happening."

"Won't hurt a bit, promise. I've done it myself enough times." They pull up a tool -- something that takes her a moment to recognize. It's a wrench, and not an entirely unfamiliar one. But this looks heavier than the ones Mara keeps in her garage, or even the one the Renegade would carry with him. Older, maybe.

But Signal holds it differently. Not with the casual nonchalance of the Renegade, or even the curiosity of Argon's mechanics, but with the same careful attention that Paige remembers having for her own tools. The sort of respect -- reverence, even -- that you have when your tools are capable of both wonderful and terrible things.

"You're not touching my disc," she says quietly.

"Alright, fair enough. But if you aren't careful, they will find you. I know you don't trust me -- and maybe you're right not to. But I can help keep you hidden, if you'll let me."

"I'll take my chances." Fights back the creeping panic, feeling that sharp and slithering pain, as if those code worms have returned, burrowing into her database. "I'm not doing that again."

By the time she realizes that it's slipped out, it's too late.

"…Oh." Signal rezzes down the not-a-wrench. For a tick or two, they seem unusually at a loss for words… and not quite sure what to do about it. "I wondered about that. Barbaric of them. I'm sorry."

"…What are you talking about?"

"There's a scar, under your eye. I'd guess your render usually compensates for it, but you're starting to run low on energy. For all I know, you might not even have known it was there." They regard her with something just short of pity, sharp grey eyes clouding over with emotion… or a memory. "You stayed there even after they did that to you -- and then you came all the way out here, you gave everything up. There was a reason, wasn't there?"

It's not really a question. She doesn't answer.

"I think you left because Tesler lied to you." Their tone implies no moral judgement -- although she suspects, given what she's read over the cycles, that Signal might be holding back a little. "I never will."

And for just a clock-cycle, she very nearly believes them.

[vickyvicarious]

You have not told me anything for a long time. I hear rumours, and especially of a tall, handsome, curly-haired man???

- May 9 (Mina to Lucy)

As to the tall, curly-haired man, I suppose it was the one who was with me at the last Pop. Some one has evidently been telling tales. That was Mr. Holmwood. He often comes to see us, and he and mamma get on very well together; they have so many things to talk about in common. We met some time ago a man that would just do for you, if you were not already engaged to Jonathan. He is an excellent parti, being handsome, well off, and of good birth. He is a doctor and really clever. 

-May 11 (Lucy to Mina)

Well, my dear, number Two came after lunch. He is such a nice fellow, an American from Texas, and he looks so young and so fresh that it seems almost impossible that he has been to so many places and has had such adventures.

-May 24 (Lucy to Mina)

The first mentions of the three suitors. It seems pretty obvious that Lucy met them in this order, and met Seward and Quincey both through Arthur introducing them.

But do we have any particular headcanons about how Lucy and Arthur met? It sounds like their first official date/social function together was "the last Pop" (which I assume is some kind of party) but it sounds like they've been spending a lot of time together even before that; she's just trying to play it cool. She mentions him getting along really well with her mother as they apparently have a lot in common, so were Mrs. Westenra's maiden family or the deceased Mr. Westenra friends of the Godalmings or in the same general circles/status maybe? Certainly doesn't seem like Lucy has known Arthur for a terribly long time so it's not like their families were super close.

I'm just curious....

Also, looking at these makes me feel a lot like the timing of the proposals was the exact opposite of accidental. The same day thing was always kind of pointing there but this is just super blatant. There were rumors about Lucy and Arthur at least a good two weeks before Proposal Day (probably longer, unless some really gossipy friend wrote to Mina right away before the rumors became widespread), and Lucy is obviously already smitten with him by the day she first introduces Seward (she gave up on sounding neutral pretty fast, like same paragraph fast):

Dress is a bore. That is slang again, but never mind; Arthur says that every day. There, it is all out. Mina, we have told all our secrets to each other since we were children; we have slept together and eaten together, and laughed and cried together; and now, though I have spoken, I would like to speak more. Oh, Mina, couldn't you guess? I love him. I am blushing as I write, for although I think he loves me, he has not told me so in words. But oh, Mina, I love him; I love him; I love him! 

She doesn't even mention Quincey until the day of the proposal itself and only mentions Seward in the context of setting him up with Mina were she not already engaged. I think it was pretty obvious to everyone involved where Lucy's affections truly lay.

So the boys admitted their feelings to one another, and Arthur politely stepped back to give them each a chance to propose first. It sounds like he had already been trying (Lucy mentions two attempts to get her alone) but he steps back here as soon as he knows how they feel too, lets them go first. Seward came in just before lunch, and he probably had his hopes highest that there might be a chance given how he acts during/in the aftermath but he did specifically ask if she loved someone else. Then he leaves and Quincey comes right after lunch. Practically feels like he was waiting outside by some bushes and when Seward came out and shook his head no it was Quincey's turn to go in. And once she seriously refuses him too he also confirms there's someone she likes before leaving. Then Arthur comes by last (at some unspecified time of day).

All the suitors knew what the outcome was going to be that day, and Quincey and Seward (if not all three) maybe even hung out the day of. Certainly, Quincey is ready to go with the boys' night out the very next day! But Arthur agreed to let them go first, to let them express their feelings to her in a way they'd never get the chance for if he proposed first and Lucy were (almost undoubtedly) already engaged to him. He let them get their closure - and they in turn trusted him with the knowledge of how they both felt about his all-but-confirmed girlfriend in the first place. They knew he wouldn't get jealous or resentful or possessive or anything gross like that.

I kind of knew all this already, but hadn't thought about it in much depth until I went back to look for clues on how Lucy and Arthur met, and... I don't know, it's just really sweet I think. The suitors love one another so much.