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a while ago you said that Starclan cats design kittens and customize them with patterns and colors from their parents genes. So, do the clan cats raise any eyebrows when it comes to people who know cat genetics? Is there a geneticist who is holding their head wondering how these two cats have this colored kit while their starclan designer was just playing around? Or do the Starclan designers still have to stay within the rules?
Basically, do the humans notice that some of these clan cats are sparkle cats lol
I try to not get too "lost in the weeds" since the humans aren't the focus of the story, just taking care that they DO have real motivations behind their actions rather than construction crews materializing out of nowhere to Do A Chaos, but...
First, the genetics of cats in Albion are different than humans in equivalent Great Britain.
Partially, this is because I honestly just don't really enjoy learning about in-depth genetics or applying them realistically. I like drawing anime characters and writing anime battles, so they have anime genetics. But more than that, off-screen, the intelligence of cats has altered the timeline of this world.
If cats really were capable of higher thinking, that totally would have had some butterfly effects. I like dropping crazy alt-history and then not elaborating on it, because it's funny. Archimedes' cat helped him invent a death ray, btw.
On that note of genetics though, you guessed right. StarClan designers DO have to work with what they have. Whatever the genetics of this alternate universe of cats are, every kit born still abides by the laws of nature.
Which brings me to...
Second, the researchers do notice that the Clan cats are special. In fact, there is a "study of magic" in this universe-- Thaumatology. "The science of wonder."
(There's no world where magic actually factually exists that science isn't all over it lmao)
Thaumatology facts I haven't shared so far since it's all offscreen and just Bonus Worldbuilding;
It is a "soft science," not a hard one.
It has a LOT of problems with replicability. Thaumatologists and Quantum Physicists have a lot of in-jokes.
The most well known (to the point of being a cliche) is "magic and quantum particles both hate being watched."
Magic is highly variable based on a bajillion very personal factors, like emotion, environment, culture, personal background, etc, so it's severely difficult to re-create it in controlled environments.
Thaumatology has a lot of overlap with sociology, archeology, and theology, so people from these fields work together a lot.
There was absolutely not a dedicated Thaumatologist working in the Research Team early on, sadly.
It was probably discovered when the Battle of the True Eclipse blew out a bunch of field cameras.
It's pretty common that photography equipment fritzes out a bit during "supernatural" times like eclipses, but the damage was extensive enough to be noteworty
The Clan cats were initially notable just for the fact they had advanced culture.
Cats are usually comparable to crows and monkeys, in this universe. So cats with fire and a crude writing system were enough to SHAKE the field of zoology.
The fact they're cats helped a lot. The public loves cats, enough that since their discovery after Speckletail attacked a bulldozer, massive outcry has secretly helped the Clans several times.
The discovery that the culture also has Thaumatological elements is more of a goldmine for a scientist than the public, though.
It's common knowledge that "animals are magic," because humanity projects traits onto them. "Of course they do, they're cats...?"
The Thaumatologist is freaking out because "THE CAT IS PROVABLY DOING ITS OWN THAUMATURGY"
Most people don't know the difference between Thaumaturgy (the functional work it does on the world) and Thaumology (the study of that as a whole), so this particular scientist is going to have a hard time explaining WHY this distinction is so special.
(And possibly even offensive to certain groups, who would insist only humans are capable of this)
In any case, eventually there would be Thaumatological interest in the Clan cats, but they weren't there in the mid to late 2010s when BB!ASC takes place.
#One of the things I like doing with The Researchers is making them relatable to my scientist friends lmaoo#So I like imagining the mundane reality of it all#There's exciting moments that make it all worth it-- but they have to grapple with budget a lot#Or their subjects breaking their equipment#Or an idea not working out the way they imagined it would#And trying to keep the public interested in their REALLY COOL PROJECT!!!#I was reading a paper on the swamp project in delamere and felt Incredibly Violent when i saw that they couldn't extensively re-wet one spo#Because there was a goddamn Go Ape Zipline#SCREW YOUR ZIPLINE OH MY GOD JUST MOVE IT#BITE BITE BITE BITE#''We could not remove the nearby patch of rhodo-motherfucking-dendron because a landowner thinks it's pretty :(''#1000000 US National Park Systems kill this man#Better Bones Au#Millie's Radio Collar
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sorry okay i've ranted about this on twt before but phi's role in ztd is just... odd to me. the reveal with her being related to delta (and also sigma and diana) is placed as one of the biggest ones like literally one of the reveals that delta says during final decision is phi's status as a double clone. and i do like her having a fucked up existence being a living paradox and being not meant to exist and all that. its fukcing interesting and i love it and talk about it a lot. but it's also just. for someone who's positioned as one of the most important characters to the plot as to WHY a lot of things happen she's also.... barely in the game? she's basically just in the game to be dead or To Be Born which is like. okay. something could be said about her lack of agency in everything but it ISNT said so like? and plus her not being there for that much of it takes away a bit of the weight of the reveal imo. like it's not as powerful if she had a bit more development/screentime to justify it and have a good payoff in my opinion i think. clearly im abnormal about phi so it was crazy for ME but it's just. i don't know. even for me it doesnt feel strong without that. from a writing perspective it makes a bit more sense to put the weight of a reveal as great as that on a character who already got substantial development or buildup to justify it. the most i CAN say is the existence of the fire fragment because that part is genuinely one of my favorite parts of the game (and also the flashback with phi and diana @ dcom) but it jsut. i don't know!
i've always thought and interpreted from her dialogue in both games that she's got a really weird sense of identity (calls herself "not a normal human being" in ztd, compares herself to a variable or an x-factor in vlr, also seems to believe diana and sigma's lives are worth more than hers) which could be interesting!!! and how her existing situation with her parents is when combined with the NEW information - did they keep the fact that she was an experiment as an infant from her for her entire life? like it couldve been INTERESTING. and still kinda is imo but it's just a weird writing decision to write her out of so much of the plot while ALSO wanitng her to be important at the same time. id ont know if this makes any sense to anyone but its just like. Okay? Sure?
#zero escape#ztd#zero time dilemma#ztd spoilers#zero escape phi#phi vlr#phi ztd#phiposting#phi zero escape#trevor.txt#i mean its just. i dont know. sure im biased bc phi's one of my favorite characters of all time#but its a weird decisiont o me#its like. hmm. im trying to think of a comparison#it's like if one of the biggest reveals of persona 5 was connected very very heavily to haru#without giving her any more screentime#maybe im just using my nitpicky writer brain too but its just. it couldve been done well. but it isnt#like i like phi's weird existence. i like phi's new self-sacrificing attitude post-vlr#i like her sheer ANGER towards delta for everythign. but she is in so so little of the games actual events it's like. ??????
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Who is the more well-adjusted twin; Damian, or Danyal? Why, it's Damian, of course!
And I have an explanation for this! But first I wanna preface this that this is just me like, rambling about this thought I have and it's not an attack on the trope as a whole. I love the Danyal Al Ghul au which is why i'm so deeply passionate about it, because I think it has a lot of potential to be explored. It's no secret that I've mentioned before that I think Danny's psychological development tends to get overlooked and underutilized in DAG aus, and the impact that growing up in an assassin league often goes ignored. This is just me further expanding on that.
Now lets set the stage! This is specifically for Danny who is adopted by the Fentons later down in life. Lets go twin au. At 10 years old, Damian goes to the Wayne Family, Danny is adopted by the Fentons (regardless of their affiliation with the League). By 14 years old, who ends up the better adjusted, more socially aware, spiritually in-tune with themselves, sibling? Why, Damian is! Why is that?
Because he has the actual support he needs compared to Danny. And I'm not talking about good or bad parents Fentons, because either way my opinion doesn't change. Damian would end up the better off twin, because, frankly, his family knows his background. They know he grew up in the League, they know what the League's teachings are, and they know he's a born and raised assassin. Knowing this, they can then help tackle and dismantle the teachings and lessons he has been given and ingrained into by the League. They may be a dysfunctional family, but they're functional enough to at least actively help deprogram all of the League's teachings that have been ingrained in Damian throughout his childhood.
Can't say the same for Danny.
Lets say Fentons here don't know his background -- and even if they do, the results may just stay the same if they play their cards wrong, -- Danny's now just been thrown into the deep end of a pool and is essentially being told sink or swim. Regardless of how he got there -- undercover, faked death, etc -- he has no proper support. He knows the League is meant to be secret, he's not gonna speak on it for various reasons. Whether it be some still lingering loyalty, fear of harm, or whatever. Whatever the reason is, he does not have a proper support system in the Fentons, no matter how nice they are. They can only tackle the surface level stuff and whatever Danny allows them to see -- if Danny ever lets them see it at all. For what do assassins do when they don't want to be caught? They hide. Sometimes in plain sight.
"But Jazz--" Jazz is a child. She is 2 years older than Danyal and no better at giving him a proper support system than the two adult Fenton parents, even with parentification. We don't know when she got into psychology or how long she'd been studying it by the time Danny's 14. We just know she's really into it. Even then, Jazz is not a licensed or reliable therapist, or even an experienced or implied good therapist, and should not be used as one either. It's a disservice to her character to reduce her down to 'supporting female emotional crutch'. Besides, therapy only works on people who want to get better. Danny, who'd be hiding who he really is, has very little incentive to want to, or to even think something is wrong with his way of thinking, even with exposure to the outside world.
When people's beliefs are outright challenged, they tend to double down on them, and Jazz canonically has a habit of psychoanalyzing her family and declaring what she thinks is the problem -- regardless of whether or not she's right about it. Jazz would get into psychology, try and psychoanalyze Danny, and all it would do is cause him to clam up, shut into himself further, and throw up even more walls so that she can't figure out that he has been lying this whole time. It would do more harm than good, and would actively hinder any progress he'd make in trying to open up to them. Roads and good intentions and all that.
That being said, I think Danny's development and dismantling of the League's teachings would be slower than Damian's. Much slower. Because he would be the one having to pick apart everything and figure out what is right, what is wrong, what he wants to keep, and what he wants to toss. Everything he unlearns would be stuff he has to unlearn himself. If he even gets to that point at all -- depending on his experiences, he very well could not change at all, or change very little. The League acts as a purge for humanity, meant to reign in their hubris and retain balance, they just also happen to be assassins for hire. Danny's time spent in Amity Park could as well strengthen his belief in their teachings just as much as it could weaken it, especially if it goes as canon and he gets bullied.
Regardless, being tossed to a civilian family as someone who is very much not a civilian, without any support, would be actively detrimental to Danny's overall mental health and development. Especially to strangers like the Fentons. Damian was closed off and standoffish even with blood family, and it took him time to open up to them -- Danny, with the Fentons, would be even more so. He doesn't know them, he doesn't trust them, he has no rhyme or reason to open up to them, and since the Fentons don't actually know him, they can't help him the way he needs. Once "Danny Fenton" is made, he has even less reason to open up. So long as Danyal allows it, they will only ever know Danny, and they'll never know Danyal.
TL:DR the Fentons aren't the better family option just because they're civilians, and actually that makes them the worser option between the two because they can't give Danny the proper support he needs. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul#dpxdc demon twins#demon twins au#dpdc#dpxdc au#dpxdc analysis#tldr: danny could be royally screwed over by living with the fentons rather than his actual family.#the fentons being good people ≠ giving proper support and aid to a child. especially a traumatized assassin child.#there are of course a lot of variables to put into place that could shift things around but this is just the general gist of the idea#living with the fentons could actively harm danny worse than if he was with the waynes and could leave him more susceptible to returning to#the league depending on the backstory given. he could actively force himself into his own shell and bury himself deep beneath his lies.#and once 'Danny Fenton' is firmly fixated on his face what use is he to take the world at face value? as my delightful friend navistar said#anything anyone says would be to *danny* not *danyal.* one good example im thinking of is that *danny* knows that killing is wrong and that#people have value. but *danyal* does not. he recognizes that it is something frowned upon but doesn't quite understand *why* because nobody#has explained it to him. bc they don't know he *needs* it to. its like knowing that certain words hurt people when said a specific way and#even if you don't mean it to hurt or understand why it hurts you recognize that it *will* hurt. and so you refrain from doing it.#danyal knows x x and x is frowned upon and so even if he doesn't understand why or thinks its stupid he refrains from doing them#while he's 'danny fenton'. he's very Intensely Masking#child development and socialization is tricky at best and unpredictable at worst. things COULD help but they could also make things worse#and even if the fentons do know his background that doesnt mean they know how to give him proper support. it certainly HELPS but it doesn't#automatically make it better. Danny can always just Lie. their parenting style might not change. sending him to therapy doesn't#automatically make it better bc it doesnt mean danny agrees that he needs the help. he can just Lie.
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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Hi! Do you have any tips to avoid over-blending? I feel like my art gets too muddy cause i blend too much
i think staying zoomed out as much as you can during the process helps a lot with that. I used to struggle with overblending too and that's what helped me the most.
try to avoid mushy blending brushes and aim for a different technique of blending altogether, one where you're gradually building up a transition between two colors by overlaying colors on top of each other instead of making a soft gradient with an airbrush or whatever you do normally ( i'm just assuming here please excuse me if it's not accurate). You can look up blending tutorials or wtv on yt im sure there are many. But yeah basically: hard edge brushes on low opacity > blending/soft brushes
try using brushes with hard edges and force yourself to paint in broad strokes and perfect that stroke until blending the edges together simply feels redundant- "why would i want to ruin such nice brushwork by overblending all my efforts away?".
a more " psychological" tip would be to remain completely aware of what and why you're doing something during the drawing process. When you feel like blending a lot, stop and ask yourself: "Is blending the edges here really necessary?" if the answer is "Well, yes; it just looks weird if I don't" then go for it, if the answer is "no, not really; no one would even zoom in that much it's just a waste of my time" then Let Go, move on, etc. Practicing self-awareness is great even in art!
#idk why y'all are reaching out to me for art tips man#don't know how we got here#but here are my two cents#it's so hard to write something concrete since there are many missing variables here so there's a lot of generalisation going on#sorry about that#ask iztea
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Of all the stories you have worked on what’s your favorite?
This is a hard question to answer!
Of course, I have a lot of fondness for cosmic dust and kintsugi. They're both definitely some of my favorites! I've really been enjoying working on run all through the night as well, but also the stars shine a different shine as well. I guess all of them? It's hard to really pick!
#asks#(don't) believe what you know is also a lot of fun#the answer to this is. very variable I think. depending on my mood
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Okay. You know how most fandoms with siblings have a "separated" au? Well, I think we have a unique position to have an MBS "not seperated" au.
Imagine that Nicholas and Nathaniel never got split up. Either they both get adopted, or they both remain in the orphanage/run away. What would even happen? Nothing. They're just two super geniuses who do stuff as a highly effective and close-knit duo.
ALSO
Because in this story, Curtain wouldn't have started the Emergency/Nicholas wouldn't need to create the Society, the kids would be kept separated! Reynie would stay in the orphanage (Maybe he'd get adopted at some point?), Kate wouldn't have ever lost Milligan (Unless you want to make someone else the villain, in which case she'd stay with the circus), Sticky would have either ended up in an orphanage/lived on his own/or never have run away, and Constance would have kept living in the library (Or maybe, since the Recruiters wouldn't have gone after her, she would have gotten adopted).
#I don't know why this grabbed my brain#But I think it would be really interesting#Especially because there could be any number of things that brings them all together#Chance or one of the twins anyway or another villain#Also there are a great many ways you can handle the Original Society#(Milligan/Rhonda/Number Two/Nicholas)#Maybe they start a bookclub and Rhonda/Number Two come because they are very determined children#And Nicholas is like “Nathaniel. Nathaniel we can't just NOT adopt them”#And Milligan just comes because#Also it would be cool if the girls met and the boys met before all of them came together as a quartet#Like Nicholas adopts Constance right off the bat and then comes across the Wetheralls somehow#And maybe Sticky ends up at Reynie's orphanage or Reynie ends up at Sticky's school#There's a lot of variables#Going to stop talking now#the mysterious benedict society#mbs
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the below situation has me considering actually ironing out a system for commissions for that sort of thing. there's a lot of people who are way better and faster than me at character art but I think my workflow and intuition with flyers and posters and other graphic stuff is good enough that I can justify asking for rates that I would find worthwhile to work for
#it's tricky though#jobs take variable amounts of time so I want to charge hourly#dad is obviously the blueprint for how I think about freelance art and that's how he's always done it#but that's also tricky to quote on because I don't have a great intuition for how long things will take at a baseline#and the key is overestimating and then coming in under budget#and it's also maybe intimidating to customers if they don't know how much it'll cost up front or the estimate is a lot#otoh it also means that it's way easier to work more closely and make lots of revisions#and at the end I'll be satisfied that I got payed for the work and they can be satisfied with the result#very nonstandard though it seems
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I'm going to preface this story by saying: I don't necessarily believe in karma, but
I may have been walking through today with a vague sense of disbelief tainted with unkind smugness after my tiktok fyp was flooded with poor fans who tried to get presale ticket to one mr n. kahan's new tour only to find that demand was through the roof and GA pit tickets were seriously going for $300, in presale, and even the "worst" tickets in the lawn were going for $70
and while I undoubtedly think it's deeply unethical for both platforms (thanks ticketmaster) and artists to allow such dramatic ticket cost inflation, I also generally don't relate...
I (VERY LUCKILY) gravitate towards smaller acts, and the most I've paid for a ticket all year has been, like... $90 for a ticket to beyonce, which got cancelled and I was refunded lol. if I look back at all my receipts from shows this year, most have been around $50/ticket after fees, and several have been closer to $20. my favorite show I've seen all year was a $15 ticket.
it's mostly luck—I tend to like smaller acts, and I've been seeing mainly rock acts this year, and those tickets simply don't run as high as pop acts. and part of me is honestly very grateful that I haven't been swept into any of the really recent huge acts.
I think of all the people scrabbling for boygenius or taylor swift tickets and how much money they've had to shell out... how a lot of them don't even GET to see the acts they want to see because they've been priced out or tickets sold out. I can't remember the last time a show I wanted to go to sold out lol. maybe bastille in london?
and again, it's just a matter of luck that I'm not really into any of these megastars and therefore don't have to compete in the gladiator arena to try to see shows I want to see, but sometimes luck manifests as a feeling of self-satisfaction, you know? who among us hasn't experienced a little self-superiority from time to time.
look, if YOUR tiktok was flooded with people saying concerts have been awful since 2021 (including rock and metal shows), but every concert YOU'VE been to since 2021 was amazing and the crowds were really good and you always got tickets and it never broke the bank, you'd feel pretty validated in your choice of musicians and the crowds they attract too, alright?? sue me! I felt frugal AND undeservedly clever!
anyways back to karma. guess who got invited and subsequently agreed to shell out $70 to sit in a lawn and listen to mr. n. kahan sing. I'll give you a hint, her tumblr username starts with an r and ends with an s
#I KNOW LIKE. A SINGLE ONE OF HIS SONGS.#the thing about me is I'm earnestly really good at not judging other ppls music taste because:#I have a whole 1000-song playlist dedicated to music I love but don't play for other ppl bc I regard it as my Fun Time No Taste Music#and it's not that it's bad it's just not as curated as I prefer my music showed to other people lol#and that means I don't judge people for getting really into a band that doesn't do it for me personally#but. I will admit that I have that deeply annoying personality trait wherein if a billion people get into something...#for unknown reasons my own desire to learn about and get into that thing plummets. hashtag hipster. hashtag annoying#so that's kinda why I've never explored a lot of mega-popular musicians#(see: hozier; mitski; boygenius; taylor swift; one direction; noah kahan; etc etc)#+ obviously I don't make quality judgements off of that. I've heard some hozier songs. he's very good. I like handfuls of TS and 1D's music#but I don't have the drive to Also Get Into It#which means I never have to fucking melee for tickets in the queue ahaha and I am very grateful for that#but idk. I think there's something to be said for purposefully seeking out midsize or small acts. I don't really like stadium shows!#my fave concert this year had less than 100 attendees and the lead singer walked right off the stage into the crowd#everyone was chill and gave him space (this was the friday pilots club show)#and I think I can compare it to big vs. small fandom#small fandoms tend to be well-behaved bc everyone knows everyone and beef poisons the whole space lol#and also it's a matter of numbers! the more people who are in a space... the higher likelihood someone's an asshole#and I've been in tiny fandoms that blew up (hellooooo omgcp) and saw that happen firsthand#and I sort of suspect that rule holds true for concert spaces/music fanbases! more people = more variables = higher likelihood of foolery#hell I think of when I was really into 2010s alt rock DURING the 2010s and had to deal with assholes at alt j concerts hahahah#and it was just because I *was* into the music that WAS of-the-time in 2015!!!!#and now as an agèd 20something who likes metal shows I'm just chilling and watching pits form at lowkey 1400-capacity venues#because that's the scene! and I'm not in the thick of it with the current Music Of The Hour#anyways all this is to say that I don't think noah kahan is bad or untalented or unworthy of seeing!!!!#clearly he is if I'm going to fork over $70plusfees to see him with my friend#it's just that I'm grateful my tastes have veered into the cheaper side of the music industry.#I think I'd keel over if my favorite artist was TS and I had to deal with. all that. to go see her.#stronger than the marines etc etc
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Song of the Day: February 25
“Watermelon Crawl” by Tracy Byrd
#song of the day#I just remembered to go back and edit this song file on my comp so it has the correct artist#it was so stupid funny--last week-ish Duncan and I were talking about the playlist I'd made for him to veto things off of#(neither of the boys are any good at telling me what songs of mine they /do/ like so we've landed on this variably-successful strategy#where instead I make a playlist of my best guesses for their taste and then as it plays through they tell me which songs I was wrong about)#and we got to 'Brown Chicken Brown Cow' by Trace Adkins and I was like 'yeah you probably don't want this one do you'#and he was like *extremely flat expression* No. Thanks.#and I told him I'd already remembered to remove 'Ala-Freakin-Bama' (also by Trace Adkins. same album and all) so I should get partial credi#and he was like mm. sure.#and I told him how I'd started with my 'all country music on my laptop' playlist for scaffolding#and then added in pretty much everything I had by other artists he'd seemed to enjoy before#(Duncan's more tolerant of this playlist-winnowing process than Nick is so his playlist starts with a much wider net#Nick's playlist I was a lot more cautious with because if I lose him at an early stage we'll never get a successful final product)#anyhow so Duncan rolled his eyes so mightily at the mention of Ala-Freakin-Bama and I was like actually you know what#here's all the songs I have by Trace Adkins. tell me which ones you /do/ want and we'll pull all the rest now (to save your eyeballs)#and he looked over the whole list (about twenty songs) and finally he said 'oh! Watermelon Crawl! I do like that one. at least there's one'#and I had to laugh and tell him 'actually I'm pretty sure that's mislabeled. that's a Tracy Byrd song' and he rolled his eyes again#turns out there's actually no Trace Adkins song Duncan will tolerate! no respect for the artistry of the Honky-Tonk Badonkadonk
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I don't know if I could beat anyone in a fight. I haven't BEEN in a physical fight since I was a small child. I also don't know anything about the physical capabilities of any of my hypothetical opponents. I ALSO don't have any hypothetical circumstances or motivations so I can't consider how that might affect my actions. This is an unvotable poll.
#most of the people i'd reblog it from are in the same general demographic as me so...how should i know#do i have muscle? no. mass? some. experience? absolutely not. ruthlessness? i'd like to THINK so but i've never NEEDED it so who knows!!#is this a situation that requires ruthless determination? or is it just like an unwanted group activity? like i'm stuck in a boxing match?#is it a hunger games situation? i don't think i could survive in the hunger games because i wouldn't feel morally justified#i'm just SAYING. there are a LOT OF VARIABLES in a situation this hypothetical
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the 2010s sure were a time in my life
#there's just....... there's just something about that time#it might have something to do with 2011 being the year i started high school and 2019 being the year i finished my BA#and also the last year before the pandemic#I DON'T KNOW I JUST. THINKING BACK ON IT THERE IS THIS MYSTIQUE TO THAT TIME. THIS STRANGE EXCITEMENT#which is most likely a result of me finally beginning to feel like i can shape my own life and who i am and daydreaming abt a better future#and like exploring myself. in 2010 i turned 14 and fully realised i'm bi and throughout the decade#i experimented with a variety of different like...... identifications and imaginations of who i am#some of those were quite consumer identities (e.g. i strove to be and was a very hipster teen) but nevertheless#i don't know dudes like. the pandemic took a lot from me in terms of ability to be excited about what's to come i think#even though my life is pretty good i'd say#but also maybe that's just what it's like to grow into adulthood and get a job etc. SIGH why am i writing an entire fucking essay#abt my 2010s teenagehood nostalgia#like majority of those years also SUCKED because i had zero real irl friends and was really lonely lmfao#it felt like life didn't really start for me yet#and i was constantly waiting to burst into it. maybe that's the mystique. constantly hoping i am on the precipice of smth extraordinary#is nostalgia for one's teenage yrs inevitable? even if you feel like you missed out on most experiences considered quintessentially teenage?#i only started having Teenage Experiences™ when i went to uni lmfao (i.e. early 20s)#but idk it's such a loaded period psychologically and it's horrible and frustrating when you're living it but then you think back on it#and you're like man..... sure was a time huh. wow#but idk my experience could also be influenced by so many other variables#e.g. smartphones and social networks becoming widespread and common#that was also a pretty significant thing that happened#anyway i think i'm abt to run out of tags so. that's it#sry this shoulda gone into my diary probably but i inflicted it on you instead#neptalks
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Are there certain "lock in" points throughout the game? I want to play a slower burn romance with clem but don't want to completely ruin my chances (like, assholes to lovers arc)
the lock ins aren't until chapter 3. the second half of chapter 2 will have specific scenes depending on how much you've flirted with certain characters, and who your "top flirt" is, but you won't be locked out of flirting with anyone yet. there will be more chances to interact and flirt with everyone in ch3, too, i know so far for ch2 there hasn't been much, but the lock ins will be at the very end of the next chapter so you'll have a chance to see everyone a little bit more than just ch1.
you don't have to flirt with everyone at every opportunity, but i always say you do want to make sure that the character you're pursuing is your "top flirt" (meaning you've flirted with them the most)
my plan for the lock ins will basically just be giving the hunter a choice, but you will only be able to choose from the top 2 ROs you've flirted with. if you've flirted the most with Noel and Clem, you'll be choosing between them, and that will be indicated in the text as well (as in if you pick Clem it will be acknowledged by Noel or vice versa) you won't be able to pick someone you've barely shown any interest in, and there will be a threshold - so if you've only flirted mostly with Clem and maybe Lea like once, you'll only get Clem as a choice, if that makes sense.
if you've shown interest in Lea and Merry, you'll get the option to pursue the poly with both of them, or choose between the two.
at the moment the only "lock outs" are with Lea and Clem. if you tell Lea "i never want to be your fucking partner" you will have taken it too far and you will not be able to pursue the romance. if you flipped the table, yelled at Clementine, and refused their apology later in the tavern (so you only get this scene if you didn't go into blackwater with them) you'll be unable to romance them - they will be too afraid of you.
and this is very much still something i'm figuring out; i've tried my best to plan the code preemptively with this system in mind but i know there's a chance i'll probably have to adjust certain mechanics and there will be things that i'll need to consider that i hadn't planned for, and i'm trying my best to account for the different choices/routes that players may take. and i know the lock ins are pretty early but my plan is for there to be a lot of variation within each romance/friendship/relationship, depending on your choices and personality, etc. and maybe it's a bit ambitious hahaha but that's my intention at this point.
#thinking about it hurts my brain.... but i have the basic foundation of it down#i don't like just letting ppl choose whoever they want i do want it to be that you've Had to flirt with them#but the threshold thing is kinda up in the air#i know with a rivalmance with Lea you get fewer opportunities to flirt#and there's a chance with both Noel and Merry to be apprehensive/reluctant in the flirting#which will indicate a slowburn#so there's a lot of variables. happening. lmfao#problem for future me <3#ask#anonymous#technical stuff
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hate it when people ask me what i do in my free time. how do i explain that it's this
#i usually just say ''i don't know''#i mean i guess i could say i play games since i do do that a lot but like. idk i feel like they'll think i'm weird if i say that#weird as in like ''shut in room all day with lights out and bags of chips and empty soda cans all over the floor''#which i would have specified in the sentence but there is a character limit#so instead i used the word ''weird'' as a sort of linguistic variable‚ which is a new literary device i have just invented#either way yeah. also if i say anything they might ask me about it and then i have to talk about myself to someone else
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I just realized something really sad
I have two best friends outside of tumblr (my only irls that aren't roommates basically) and one of them I try to talk to constantly but she doesn't always respond, in fact she kind of barely does. I want to talk to her all the time but I always feel like I'm boring her or like she doesn't understand why I can't do some of the things I can't do.
The other one is always trying to talk to me, usually trying to call me. But I rarely ever pick up or respond or text first. My relationship with her is really complicated because some of my alters are very hurt from some things she did a while ago, others just don't trust her, and then the ones that front when we talk love her.
I have so many mixed feelings and the switches triggered by that mean I always don't answer or forget because I have dissociative amnesia about her trying to contact me in the first place... I don't know, I don't want to make excuses for myself but I genuinely don't know if this is a valid reason for treating her the way I do or if I'm an awful friend. Of course, it could also be both. I just don't know what to do. I don't want her to feel neglected by me like I sometimes do with my other friend.
#for some context about what the things that hurt these alters were ill elaborate here in the tags#so me and friend 2 have been friends for a very long time. since i was about 13-14 and were both adults now#i was raised Christian and it deeply traumatized me. i didnt deconvert until i was about 17 and even then was back and forth#i know theres a lot of variability in Christianity and maybe not everyone raised Christian will be traumatized#but i really really was. and if youve seen some of my posts about my religious trauma youll know why#when i was 18 i had just moved out of my moms house and was basically crashing on a friends couch/floor#i was extremely stressed and vulnerable at the time#and during that time my friend tried to reconvert me#i dont remember exactly what she said but it devolved into arguing and i had a panic attack over it at least once#we didnt talk for a while#shes also stated pretty directly before that she believes being transgender (which i am) is wrong#i let it slide because she apologized and stopped pushing the matter#she almost never brings it up anymore#and parts of me forgive her but other parts don't#i feel like i should also talk about the ways that shes a good friend because this is gonna make it seem really one sided otherwise#so for one shes been with me through the hardest years of my life#talking me down from taking my life late into the nights... being there when no one else was... reminding me that im worth something#shes been patient and kind and supportive all this time#she was also the person who eventually got me to realize that my parents and even my siblings were abusive and neglectful#which was a very big deal for me#i wouldnt have lived this long without her suppory#even now she checks in on me#making sure im not suicidal and reminding me that shes here for me#always reaching out if i havent responded in a while just to make sure im okay#she also struggles with a lot of the same stuff as me having had ptsd depression and an eating disorder before#so she helps me feel less alone#but now i dont ever feel close to her#and i dont know if i ever will again#i feel cruel for not telling her the truth if i haven't forgiven her yet but I don't think itd do any good for her to know
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I have a lot to say about the decision our BOE made about Lifewise, but I'm going to go over the useful information here first and then the shitshow in a later reblog.
Last night, the board of education in my city decided to rescind allowance of Lifewise in our public schools.
Lifewise is a non denominational Christian youth group that operates during school hours, and only during school hours. Their mission is to bring Jesus to public schools, and they are able to do this legally because the education happens off-campus. They typically do this during lunch, recess, or electives. The program is voluntary.
They were allowed in our school system through a former board member, two years ago. The program has come under some scrutiny, which I will cover in a reblog. So the topic of rescinding their decision came up this year.
This was a huge debate. I will get into it later.
But I wanted to state the reasons why our board chose to rescind the decision and end business with LifeWise, so that if they (or others of this type) come to your school system and you don't want them there, you have a model for what has worked in debate.
1. An important aspect of the decision to rescind this particular decision does not restrict religious learning before or after school, or on weekends- and only applies to religious programs during school hours.
2. Unlike accommodations made for Ramadan (an example that was brought up in debate), LifeWise is not a core observance of religion.
3. The social times of school, such as lunch or recess, are just as much part of the learning process as structured class time. Play is imperative for a growing mind, and playing with kids from other religious backgrounds is especially important.
4. While Lifewise supplies their own buses to and from locations, transition times in schools (getting children to and from lunch, recess, bathrooms, electives) are some of the most stressful times for teachers. Adding another, for which only some of the students are part of, is a strain on resources.
5. Entrusting your students to a third party who has not been vetted by the schools is an intense liability. Not just the obvious danger of a dangerous person, but- are the trained in first aid? What do they know about seizures, autism, allergies, diabetes...what are their policies on conflict resolution... there are a lot of variables to think of when you leave your students in someone else's care, even for just an hour.
That's all the notes I have for that meeting. If one of these programs is courting your school board, it's probably a good idea to have these points in mind now, rather than later.
I'll talk about the rest later.
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