#there's a new angle to interpret this same exact thing from and i have to understand and accept it as valid

[wontbyers]

someone: [says something]

me: oh my god, that’s absolutely right

someone else: [says the literal opposite]

me: oh shit that’s true!! yeah you’re right

[9w1ft]

I'm a gaylor myself so this isn't coming from a place of hate but I really don't think karlie and taylor are still together, I think taylor still references her in her art and probably will for quite some time because that relationship -- whatever the nature of it was -- left such a deep impact on her. but I really can't see them still being together, I think she's forced herself to move on from karlie and has since dated a lot of other women. that doesn't mean her feelings for karlie have faded, just that they will probably always be there but they broke up for sure before 2019, I think. folklore and evermore, midnights even, are all breakup albums, I just can't see how they could still be together. especially all her anger and sadness in those songs that are thought of to be for karlie (like my tears ricochet or exile or mad woman) also the cover art being shoot in bedfords, new york, the exact same place where karlie got married feels more like taylor revisiting this place to really say goodbye and mourn her for one last final time so she can move on

sorry, this got a bit long, I just don't understand the appeal or the reasoning for lsk's because taylor has indicated so many times that they are over, she's been mourning her relationship with karlie quite publicly since 2019 (wearing all black during the lover era) so yeah

hi! i don’t usually respond to these but i’m not sensing any ill will so i’ve decided to give a reply a go.

first off, for me, i kinda just interpret her wearing black in the back end of lover era because her masters had gotten bought by scooter. and maybe the fact that she decided to not come out. there can be other reasons, but i really do not think that her breaking up with karlie has to be one of them.

another thing i can’t shake is the fact that it was a very notorious troll/manipulative person on tumblr who spread the first rumor that they broke up in 2019, a fact that is well understood by a lot of OG’s, and this troll got in the head of a few popular kaylor and gaylor swift accounts at the time and in doing so she got a lot of people to fold. she then went on to write all this progressively unhinged fanfiction about taylor and karlie trying to make one another jealous and sleeping with all these women, presented with the same level of seriousness with which she pushed the breakup agenda. even to this day, i see present day gaylors talk about stuff that stems from narratives this account and a few other power hungry accounts spread around many years ago and it honestly just goes to show how a lot of well known gaylors may be platformmed up but that don’t really know what they’re talking about.. i only write this because the troll deactivated about a year ago (maybe they’re lurking on platforms with more malleable minds—once a troll always a troll—but at least they’ve left here), they were a really dangerous person.. and several have wild receipts to prove it.

anyways sorry i recognize that’s a tangent, i guess what i mean to say by it is, a lot of the sentiment surrounding the idea of a 2019 breakup and the reinforcement of the narrative by a gaylor community none the wiser stems from the work of someone with disingenuous intentions. a lot of “masterposts” or “realistic timelines” draw from what this person made up and it’s gone through enough filters for it to seem like credible sentiment but like, if you were there and you read all of what she wrote you know how silly it all sounded and how incoherently it was all written.

okay so to circle back to more of a content-centric angle, in my interpretation of the events that gave us folklore, evermore, and midnights, taylor had so much to be sad about. her mom had been very sick, the pandemic arrived and she had to cancel lover fest, she had to come to terms with scott b having sold her work to her sworn enemy… songs on midnights and folklore, and on her lover era apple music playlist allude to certain other things that may have had her in a mournful mood. things were bad! and i don’t doubt that her and karlie have been through a lot. but for me, when you’ve got a ride or die love, you don’t just break up. this has been something frustrating for me and others, i think, to see so many people treat a relationship as either being all systems go or broken up, as if long term partners can’t experience sadness together, difficulty together, even heartbreak together.

i don’t like getting in to touchy subjects so much but there’s just been too much pointing towards what i consider to be a rather simple narrative that is a natural progression for people committed and in love. how did the lover music video begin and end? whats a randomly specific word in a song she performed at the grammys minutes after someone was announced to the world? what about taylor’s envisioned future stands out about the anti hero music video? i think i’ll stop here but idk man 😆 poke around my archive if you feel like wasting a few days of your life… there’s just been a consistent flow of the same kind of hijinks that we’ve seen from them for years, and i’d say that there are many songs that back up everything i’d want in order to stay invested in seeing if what i believe is true.

now, i know i just wrote what reads like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to people not following kaylor. but im okay with that. i’ve accepted that. and i know that the whole patterns and koincidences and twinning and symbolism beat isn’t for everyone and so i respect people’s decisions to believe they aren’t together, but in closing i’ll just say im sometimes at a loss to see time and time again people suggest that kaylors believe in kaylor because they find it appealing or because they want to ship it. when it’s literally not that— it just makes the most sense to a lot of us!

also, does this look like the face of someone mourning?

[staringdownabarrel]

So I just saw Spaceman. It's just really good science fiction: it's thought provoking and relevant to current social issues.

I think it's also like the anti-Adam Sandler movie in some ways, despite having him in it. In a lot of his other movies, especially his early ones from the '90s, there was this thing where the leading woman would end up falling in love with him despite his character being a loser and her character having her shit together. The alternative was that she'd reject him in some way, but have a comeuppance at the end.

This wasn't really the case here. While not as much of a loser as in some of his other movies, Adam Sandler's character in Spaceman was still a loser. Like, he had this wife that he coveted, who was clearly into him, but in a lot of ways, he barely knew her. When he was in space, he wanted nothing but her; when he was on Earth, he couldn't wait to be gone again.

It also wasn't a given that Lenka would stay with Jakub at the end. She could have left. She wanted to leave. Even at the end, after his personal growth, it was an open question if she actually would leave or if she'd give their marriage one last try.

When I say that Spaceman is relevant to current social issues, this is exactly what I mean. There are so many men going around today that are just like Jakub. They have all kinds of trauma they haven't dealt with and are refusing to look at, and they spend their entire lives finding new and interesting ways to run from it. Relationship after relationship fails, and they never quite seem to pick up that they're the problem.

The thought provoking angle comes from how Jakub comes to acknowledge that he needs to start dealing with his trauma, though. While on his mission to this mysterious cloud in the solar system, he finds that this spider-like alien is also onboard. The spider, Hanus, ends up becoming his therapist.

I'm sure most people reading this will have seen that post where it's the screenshot of the Antarctica base website where it says, "Antarctica is not the answer." In a lot of ways, Spaceman is the movie version of that post. Jakub was clearly doing this kind of thing over and over, looking for the resolution to his trauma out in the void the same way an alcoholic might look for it at the bottom of a bottle, and wondering why it never came.

But also, because this is the one time Hanus was there, it also becomes the inverse of that as well. As much as this pattern was clearly destructive for him on a personal level, a kind of unintentional self harm, it also ended up being what saved him. He needed someone to be there and say, "Hey, you need to deal with this, and one way or another, you will deal with it."

It also clearly had to happen in this exact way to some extent. One of the people working for the space agency on Earth offered him the chance to speak to a psychiatrist over the radio, but he declined. So while Jakub was the kind of person who would have benefited from some level of professional help, he also wasn't going to accept that. His ego wouldn't allow it.

This is an aspect that I think is very true to life. There's a lot of people who are kind of like this, where they clearly need some kind of professional help, but they won't accept it until some very specific circumstances have been met.

Depending on what kind of cult following this movie gets in the long term, I think this could end up being the "Was Deckard a replicant?" point for Spaceman. I think Hanus was very clearly a figment of Jakub's imagination brought on by social isolation and a lack of sleep. The movie was also very clear about the ship starting to break apart, so the broken toilet that was keeping him awake and driving him mad was clearly literally driving him mad.

Ordinarily, this kind of thing where there is some level of interpretation available as to whether the thing is real or fake annoys me. Usually it seems like there isn't really any thematic reason why that ambiguity has to be there. Here, it makes sense though. While Hanus was likely a figment of Jakub's imagination, the ambiguity is necessary--if there was an explicit denial of his existence in the plot, he would have been sent to a padded room and that'd be that. With the ambiguity, although small, it allows for the statement to actually be that it doesn't really matter if Hanus wasn't real. What mattered is that he was there when Jakub needed him.

This aspect also ties into what COVID lockdowns ended up doing to a lot of people. It wasn't really to this extreme, but a lot of people did end up going a little bit mad during lockdown isolation.

I don't think Spaceman was necessarily the deepest movie ever made, but I think it is a lot better than most people are giving it credit for. There's a lot happening here, and I think it lands more often than it doesn't.

[my-writings-and-musings]

The Dragon Prince ASL

I'm sure someone has already done this, but I wanted to try my hand at interpreting the American Sign Language in the newest season of The Dragon Prince! Please note that I am not Deaf and only have a bachelor's in the language, so this is likely to be rough and if there are mistakes PLEASE let me know!! Please also let me know if I missed any scenes!

I'll transcribe each individual sign as best I can as well as the English language translation if one isn't provided and note anything I think is interesting!

Spoilers, of course!

Episode 1

7:20 - WHAT DO-DO HERE? UNDERSTAND NEED FOR-FOR SECRET GOAL BUT INFORM-ME TELL NOTHING ME?

8:05 - SOME THING NOT RIGHT. WE NOT ALONE.

13:50 - THEY ATTACK-ME.

14:50 - WHY (She mimics the whips usage for WIELD) FIRE WHIP?

15:10 - WHAT KIND CEREMONY?

15:28 - YOU... WILL YOU... WRESTLE ME?

(Adorable to note Janai almost gets it right! She starts to form the sign for marriage before second guessing herself and going with wrestle!)

15:50 - THAT AMAZING WOW

16:10 - SORRY

Episode 2

9:45 - I VERY-HAPPY TWO-OF-YOU! YOU WORLD- (camera cut)

10:06 - THANK-YOU. NOW YOU OFFICIAL MY (She indicates a height, then a smaller height for "younger", and adds a sign that makes me think she's emphasizing the "little" for comedic effect) BROTHER I- (camera cut)

22:30 - YOU-AND-I (I don't know the exact word for this sign but MOVING-FORWARD (as in time not physical space) would be my most literal guess!) FAST?

"Are we moving too fast?"

22:45 - THAT NOT MEANING I

"That's not what I mean..."

Episode 5

8:05 - YOU HURT? WHAT HAPPEN?

"Are you hurt? What happened?"

8:10 - I FINE. ARGUMENT INSIDE CAMP ABOUT OPEN FLAME. ARGUMENT HOT.

(Gren indicates the argument grew out of control by having the sign become more wild.)

(Camera angle makes it impossible to be sure but I think he says ONE HUMAN HURT while his back is turned.)

8:20 - WHO?

8:25 - HER NAME L-U-C-I-A. CHIEF ARCHITECT FROM K-A- (Camera pans away)

8:40 - (Camera pans back) NOW RIGHT?

17:00 - NO. THEY GUARD FOR CAREFUL.

(The sign for careful is used in such a way as to indicate care going forward in their situation.)

17:10 - PEOPLE UPSET ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN. ABOUT WHAT YOU DID.

17:45 - YOU STAY HERE. MAYBE NOT SAFE.

17:55 - QUEEN JANAI WILL DECIDE.

(Amaya uses a namesign for Janai as opposed to fingerspelling, and the sign in question is VERY interesting to me! It's a "J" on the upper chest, and while that could be for her status as queen, I like to think it's quite possible Amaya intended it to be over her heart <3.)

Episode 6

5:40 - I INTERRUPT SOME THING?

6:35 - FACE JUSTICE WHAT? BLOW-OUT-CANDLE? SHE ATTACK BURN.

(The physical nature of the injury is indicated by Amaya signing ATTACK to establish what happened and signing FIRE up her arms to mimic the burns.)

6:55 - FOR BLOW-OUT-CANDLE? TYPICAL APPLAUSE (She signs the hearing and DEAF equivalent of applause) BIRTHDAY CAKE SLICE EAT.

7:10 - TRIBUNAL? IF GUILTY WHAT HAPPEN?

7:15 - DEATH? JANAI CANNOT DO THAT.

10:35 - THEY SIX HORNS.

14:55 - I CAME HERE WHY? FOR DEFEND L-U-C-I-A. (Camera pans away then back) -CANNOT. SHE NOT INNOCENT. PRINCE K (Namesign for Karrim) CORRECT. (Camera pan) -OPPORITUNITY THINK PAIN CAUSE. SHE NOT. SHE CRUEL. (Camera pan) -SAME ME. I ASK YOUR JUDGEMENT GENEROUS COMPASSION. DEATH NOT ANSWER. (Camera Pan) -THROW-WAY CHANCE LEARN GROW.

Episode 8

5:00 - YOU HAVE NEW FRIEND?

"Is this your new friend?"

5:10 - SO. NEED TALK WHAT?

"So, what do we need to talk about?"

12:45 - SO TALK ME.

"So, talk to me."

13:35 - FORGET KINGDOM. WHAT LIFE YOU WANT (She touches Janai's heart to personally indicate IN-YOUR-HEART.)?

"Forget the Kingdom, what kind of life do you really want?"

18:40 - THAT NOT ANSWER YOU WANT BECOME QUEEN I-ASK-YOU?

"That's not an answer. I'm asking if you really want to be Queen?"

19:20 - I SAY JUST HAVE TWO CAKE.

"Well, I say you should just have two cakes!"

19:30 - TWO CAKE

"Two cakes!"

[transmascpetewentz]

my thoughts on professor dave explains have changed quite a bit over the years

when i first found him i thought he was smart and right about everything and funny

now i still find the humor in his videos but i really don't like how he's extremely smug and acts like he knows more about a topic than people affected by a topic (for instance, trans people) and isn't really open to a lot of criticism from a non-hard-scientific angle. and his new thing, which is in response to extreme evangelical xtians being stupid, to shit all over jewish texts and willfully misinterpret them to make a point

and i understand that point. but his point isn't made well by shitting on his idea of what jewish texts are saying when his misinterpretation is the exact same as the culturally xtian misinterpretation that is pushed on everyone. like, the dumbass evangelical misinterpretation is also going to be your average interpretation by someone who is culturally xtian but doesn't really think about it or hear other views. so the point really falls flat. satire requires a clarity of purpose and target lest it be mistaken for and contribute to that which it intends to criticize.

and dave's satire often does contribute to that which it intends to criticize. his comments sections are full of people being like, "lol imagine believing in sky daddy 🤣" or "old testament g-d is so scary amirite" and while a lot of people are respectful, tolerating and working within misinterpretations and appropriations of judaism is going to create an environment where that kind of shit thrives.

i still think his flat earth/electric universe/etc stuff is good and i use his tutorials to pass science classes

[stormbabylore]

Left to Right: New Benchmark, Current State, Original Benchmark

The new benchmark is leaps and bounds better than the original, in my personal opinion, and I'm exceptionally grateful to those who put in the hard work to bring us these massive updates so quickly. I've held out hope for the last month that the new benchmark would give me the ability to see Aeryn with the same excitement that others felt looking forward to their characters' graphic updates in Dawntrail.

But I'm just not there. Though she looks significantly better, there's still something "incorrect" about her expression causing my messed up little brain to reject her. I've stared at her with a highly critical eye trying to pinpoint why I feel this way, and I've landed on this: most (though not all) of the changes I personally see in her appearance are caused by an interpretation formed about how certain lines and features on her face must be due to how shadows previously appeared on them - shadows which are now drastically different and highlight her features in a different way from what I previously perceived.

Examples and additional rambling behind the cut, if you don't mind me being insane about this.

The new rendering of her eyelashes looks thinner, and the shadows they cast on her upper eye are less intense, making more of her iris visible. Additionally, her lower eyelids appear slightly more rounded, especially toward the inner part of her eye, where shadows originally made it seem the eyelids straightened out and then very slightly curved down - the opposite of now, which appears to be more of a continual upward curve. Combined, these all give her more of a wide-eyed expression than before.

The new shading of the bags under her eyes makes them (and her eyes in general) look more bulbous. They didn't seem to protrude quite so much before, with a focus more on subtle highlights that caused the bags to be most visible in brighter scenes or in stark, overhead lighting. (I'm looking at you, Prae.) These were often situations where it felt appropriate to showcase how tired she might be feeling; but otherwise, in most scenes, they didn't stand out so much. They're now very obvious, visible from every angle, and they stand out even in night views.

I personally see a slight change in the line of her nose, most visible in the 3/4 up-angle shots. It used to have a minuscule inward curve along the ridge and turned up the tiniest bit at the end. From the front, it looks like her nostrils used to tilt up more, giving the impression that her nose was slightly narrower, despite the fact that it does, in fact, take up the exact same space on her face. Finally, the bolder shadows along every part of the nose give the impression that it is larger and protrudes further along the bridge - though, again, that is definitely not the case.

I very much miss the wider dip of her upper lip (which I have learned today is called the philtrum). It gave her expression a certain softness, whereas her benchmark lips look gently pursed to me. There was also a barely-there upturn at the corners of her lips before, or at least the impression of one created by the stronger, "dimple-like" shadows at both ends of her lip-line. That slight upturn is very evidently gone (noticeable especially on her profile) and makes her look far more serious and even severe. The more I stare at her, the more I think this (perhaps along with her eyes) might be the change that bothers me the most.

I can't comment on her face shape with any reasonable accuracy. Sometimes I think her face feels rounder, but then I rotate her and think perhaps it's actually thinner? The chin throws me off, and I think the angle of her jawline feels higher - but that (like so many other things) might just be a false impression based on the illusion of lines created by cast shadows, which now just hit different.

Colors, of course, also play a role in some of this... but I'm not going to waste time comparing skin, eye, and hair tones now that we know there's been a shroud on the character creator that impacts how things look in the original (center images). I did briefly attempt to find a less "pink-leaning" hue for her skin now that the shadows don't dilute the warmth of the coloring in quite the same way, but I didn't find anything that felt any closer to the original iteration.

So there are my unnecessary and overly-analytical observations about my WoL's appearance. It's not a criticism of the graphics at all, which I admit look pretty darn stellar. Again, massive kudos to the entire team of individuals involved in all this work - it means a lot that they take fan feedback and really work to make this game amazing for us. And most of my alts look incredible! So does this character, in her own way? If I never had the original version of Aeryn and didn't know her so well, I'd probably be fine with how the character on the far left looks.

She just doesn't feel like my character.

Of course that might change. As I mentioned while I was trying to work through my dejection following the release of the first benchmark (here), there's a very real possibility I'll just "get used to it" once this is the only version of her I have available. I can definitely see her somewhere in there, trying to peek through; and maybe when I see her in the actual game environment, I'll feel differently. Or maybe I'll reevaluate and decide she just looks "older," or that she's tired, or some other such nonsense that would cause a change in her overall aesthetic as the story progresses.

But as it stands, I'm undecided as to if I will continue to play her or not. I had paused for a long spell on my goal to power through EW before the graphics update, and I think I'm going to resume it, now. I've been reasonably assured by a good friend that EW reaches a solid finale that could be a conclusion for the WoL's story. (Noooo spoilers, pleeaaaase.) If that turns out to be the case, it might be nice to give Aeryn an "ever after" and let this be the conclusion of her adventures... if I find I really can't resolve the notion of playing with her like this. (Goodness knows I have plenty of alts to fall back if I don't bring Aeryn into Dawntrail!)

But I will be so, so very sad to end my main's story, if I decide to do so. (ᴗ_ ᴗ。)

[niuniente]

Hey, Niu.

In Germany we do pouring lead (molybdomancy says google translate. Such a nice word Ö^Ö), well, in the last few years it became pouring wax or tin, which I like because protecting environment, but I am rambling.

In short, you pour the liquid metal in water and hold it in front of a light in different angles and look what you see in the shadow. Some people do it without shadow, just by the figurine. You get a handy paper with meanings like egg means addition to the family

Well, my first reaction upon seeing my figurine, I thought of the future devil from chainsaw man. Which made me chuckle, but also is not that good of a sign, I think, as devils in that Manga love human suffering. But I shall still do my best for a good future for me.

Sorry for the long rambling, but I thought you might appreciate my little kinda fortune telling.

Have a nice day!

Oh I didn't know Germans do the same thing! We do it with tin, too, exact the same way of telling the new year's fortune. Do you also read the surface of the melted tin? In Finland, if the surface has uneven patches of rough "scrap", it means money. The more the better!

(We have, unfortunately, forgotten each meanings for the tin shadow so we see what it looks like and interpret them however we see the best).

A devil can be a warning to watch out for people who don't have good intentions (even if they were someone close like a needy friend). It can also be liberating if you don't associate demons immediately to bad news. I, for example, always read tarot's Devil through positive Capricorn traits unless all other cards on the spread are telling about bad news.

Though this year, my sister and I had Chinese Fortune Cookies over melting tin.

[words-after-midnight]

Good day! I had a couple of questions for you, no need to feel pressured to answer if they don't apply ^~^. I've recently run into an issue while writing and I'm looking for advice.

Do you have beta readers? If so, how do you handle the ones that try to take over your writing? I.E. They try to bully you into writing in a different voice, they assume to know more than you about the story and try to tell you how characters act, or tell you that you're writing your own plot wrong- including any foreshadowing bits or lack thereof (for plot reasons, of course). And finally, how do you handle the ones that act like their your friend only to steal major elements of your story because "I can do it better than you"? (Or conversely accused you of stealing from them just because something you did was apparently really close to something they did?) I ask it in this manner bc I've had whole character arcs I've spent years crafting be copy-pasted by other writers who I thought were my friends. I'm talking beat-for-beat the exact same arc I had planned, just with their character.

Thank you for your time!

Omg, I'm so sorry for the delay in responding to this. These are really good questions, and I really had to think about my answer to the second part for a good while.

I do have beta readers. I've mentioned this a few times, but my main wip is ending-centered, meaning I can't re-use the same beta readers for many aspects of the story I'm working on, because previous beta readers' perspective of the story and characters should be fundamentally different from those of new beta readers (ie. knowing the ending should radically change your perspective and experience of the story when you read it a second time). Therefore, to get "unbiased" feedback, I need new beta readers for every version. All in all, I've had about a dozen beta readers over the years for Life in Black and White, for every version of the manuscript since the first (2013; no one reads my drafts, other than snippets).

In my opinion, beta readers, and/or a critique group/critique partners, are absolutely crucial to the process of getting a book ready for publication (whatever publication looks like for you, whether that's self-pub, indie, or trying your hand at tradpub like I am). I can say with absolute certainty that my novel would not be as good as it is now without the outside perspectives and commentary that I get from my beta readers, and I honestly believe this is the case for most long-form works (and many shorter works as well). No matter how intricate your vision for your story is, epecially for a story as complex as a novel, you're just not going to be able to see all the angles and pick up on all the tweaks that could really make your story better yourself. Good beta readers come armed with relevant knowledge (eg. they might have pro editing experience, or personal experience with an aspect of your story that you've had to research), tips, and most importantly, a different perspective than yours. They'll often be able to pick up on things that don't work in your story better than you can, because you're attached and invested. They might notice things that should be worded or framed differently. They might interpret something wildly differently than what you intend, or make suggestions for things you can do to condense your story or present it differently. They can tell you if something is predictable when it needs to not be.

At this stage, my beta readers receive very specific questions from me at various stages of the story. Their answers help me fine-tune different aspects that, based on previous feedback, still need some work. For the first version of the manuscript, I had larger/more vague questions and was really looking for mainly general feedback. Conversely, my beta readers for the final version will be specifically chosen for a purpose (eg. specific knowledge or experience they have) and will include at least one sensitivity reader and one professional beta reader.

So those are my general thoughts on beta readers and having them. Now, to address your specific questions:

Once you've had multiple beta readers, I feel like you really come to learn to do this automatically, but you have to kind of take and leave feedback based on what you know works for your story and characters. Beta readers are vital, but at the end of the day, you're the author, and no one knows your story like you do. You absolutely don't have to take a suggestion from a beta reader if you disagree with it. However, when I get a suggestion I don't like, I always ask myself why I don't like it. If it's not because it fundamentally wouldn't fit the character(s) in question or the plot/structure of the story, I will usually at least consider the suggestion unless I just straight up don't like the idea. Sometimes, you initially won't like a comment or suggestion because it stings a little to hear, lol, or challenges something you feel strongly about or are emotionally attached. But here's the thing: would it ultimately make the story better? In situations like this, I usually just sit with the suggestion a while, and most of the time, I end up using it. There are aspects of my story that I'm absolutely unwilling to compromise on, but these are few: it's good to know these in advance, especially if you plan to query. There are a few things about my story I wouldn't change even for representation or a book deal. In general, it's good to be open-minded about these things, and having honest beta readers will usually help you in that regard. I am much better at taking criticism about my work now than before I had beta readers, for instance.

Re: stealing parts of your story, I hope you know that's completely unacceptable - from anyone, but especially from a "friend." For me, that would be an instant cut-off situation. It doesn't solve your problem, though, and unfortunately, not much will unless you have your stuff copyrighted, so I'm really sorry to hear you're in that situation. This is part of why I really recommend exercising caution when selecting beta readers. My beta readers have, with only one exception, always been people I know in real life - either friends or other writers/members of a critique group. I don't actually recommend only having either of those as beta readers (friends especially will not be unbiased readers, though I've had many friends provide me with EXCELLENT feedback), but it's really scary to hand the product of your blood, sweat and tears over to someone you don't know well. Personally, for readers who aren't people I trust, I'm budgeting to hire professionals. This isn't an option for everyone, obviously, but that's my approach. Theft is unfortunately a risk we take when having beta readers or even doing book swaps - I personally feel the benefits usually outweigh the risks because most people will not do this, but it really sucks when they do, especially when it's someone you trusted. If anyone else reading this has tips for anon on this situation, please be my guest!

[optimusphillip]

OptimusPhillip Reviews – Transformers: Power of the Primes Grimlock

I cannot believe that it’s been five years since Power of the Primes launched. It feels like just yesterday that I was scrambling to get all five of the new Dinobot toys that were coming out. Since then, we’ve got Studio Series giving us new Leader Class versions of all the original Dinobots as part of their ‘86 movie assortment, and now Legacy has recently announced a new set of combining Dinobots in the Core Class price point. Between these two new sets of Dinobots, it seems like the Power of the Primes versions have become something of a distant memory. But before they fade away completely, I’d like to take one last look at them to see if they hold up, or whether they really are best left in the past. And to start things off, we gotta look at Grimlock.

Dinosaur Mode

Grimlock transforms into a Tyrannosaurus rex, very much inspired by his Generation 1 toy. He is cast predominantly in gray plastic, which does have a swirling element to it. I don’t know the exact purpose of this effect, I presume it’s some attempt at a metallic effect. Whatever the case, it is an interesting look, though it does give me flashbacks to Gold Plastic Syndrome. The other predominant color is gold, but it’s not just gold plastic or even simple gold paint. The neck and midsection are cast in colorless translucent plastic, with gold paint applied to the inside. This is a clever way to recreate the layered effect of the original Dinobot figures, who had clear plastic layered over gold chrome parts. Though given clear plastic’s reputation for fragility, it doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in the toy’s longevity.

Not all the gold is done this way, however. Standard gold paint can be found on the tail, hips, and toes. There’s also red paint on the front of his hips, along with his eyes, solidifying the fact that this is based on the G1 toy, rather than the blue-eyed cartoon model. This G1 homage is carried further by the sticker detailing on the torso, which carries the same kind of colorful circuitry designs one might find on an 80′s robot toy. However, as I said, these are Prime Wars Trilogy stickers, which means mileage may vary on adhesion and alignment.

While the deco is very G1, the shape of the T. rex does leave a lot to be desired. Because of the way this figure is engineered, everything from the hips down is heavily bulked up compared to most interpretations of the design. From what I can tell, these are compromises for the combination feature. On the G1 toy, the hips would collapse inward to give the robot torso clearance to fit around them, and the legs would fold up at the knee to form the tail. But the hips have to be fixed in place for the combiner hips to work, and the leg connection points make it impossible to hollow out the legs in the right way for them to fold up. So instead, we get very wide dinosaur hips, and a giant block of leg that’s trying to look like a tail. It’s unfortunate, but not the end of the world. I still think he looks very powerful and imposing from most angles.

In terms of articulation, Grimlock’s head can tilt up and down over a 90 degree range. His jaw is hinged, of course, and his shoulders are on ball joints, though the way the socket is cut means they can only point downward. Hips swivel 360 on a ratchet, and also move in and out if you can get him to balance. Knees are double-jointed with a mushroom peg thigh swivel, and the tail can move up and down on a ratchet. Altogether, he has a pretty decent range of motion, and can even assume the more modern T. rex stance, though I personally think he looks best Godzilla-style.

Conversion

If you’ve ever messed with a Grimlock toy, then chances are you know how this figure transforms. Open the dino chest and flip the head back, bring the robot chest up, and split the tail to form the legs. It’s not exactly the same, however. The torso splits down the middle and the two halves pivot up instead of just pivoting up in one piece, and like I said, the legs don’t unfold at the knee, but instead the tip of the tail just folds back to form a heel. But really, it’s about what you’d expect, which means that isn’t a whole lot to it. There really isn’t anything else I can say, it’s just... another variation on the classic Grimlock transformation. If that’s what you’re looking for, then you probably won’t be disappointed in this regard.

Robot Mode

While not an exact match to his G1 character model, this figure is unmistakably Grimlock. He has the colors, the shapes, even the backpack is exactly what you’d expect from a Grimlock, though there is an additional piece of kibble on the back of his waist, due to the combiner gimmick.

As in dinosaur mode, this figure is specifically meant to homage the original Grimlock toy, and this is most visible in the head. Unlike the cartoon, the visor is red, and unlike the comic, the ear pieces stick straight upward. It’s a dead ringer the G1 Grimlock toy’s head.

More toy referential detail can be found in the surface detailing on his body, particularly on the torso and waist. Comparing against pictures of the G1 toy, every detail I can see is recreated here. They even molded in the exposed screw hole in his belly, which is an insane level of attention to detail.

Proportionally, this mode is probably where Grimlock looks best. The narrow hips and wide chest give him a very powerful look, like he’s been hitting the gym every day. The thighs do look a little scrawny if you look too closely, and that will become a problem later on, but for now, Grimlock looks pretty damn swole, and it’s a look that I think suits him. He looks the part of a big bruiser-type character, which is exactly what he’s supposed to be.

The robot mode also reveals more sticker detailing, this time on the shins. Once again, these stickers are meant to mimic detailing from the original toy. The stickers on the feet are missing, and the shape of the shin stickers is off, but it’s a surprising attention to detail. They’re still the cheap Prime Wars stickers, however, so they are prone to peeling off or being misaligned, especially with how close the stickers are to the edges of the surface.

Grimlock may look the part of the G1 toy, but the articulation has been improved greatly. The neck is on a ball joint, which really highlights how expressive the face sculpt is. The arms are the dinosaur legs and retain all the same articulation. The waist swivels on a ratchet, though it is restricted by the back kibble. Universal hips, with ratchets, thigh swivels, and ratcheted knees that go to the 90. All told, he has exactly as much articulation I’d like for a Grimlock robot.

Grimlock, unfortunately, does not come with his G1 weapons. Instead, he gets a pair of Prime Armor bucklers that peg onto his arms. As Prime Armor, they include slots for you to insert a Prime Master, Matrix Core, or the included Dinobot Enigma of Combination. They look pretty cool as giant bucklers, and the Prime Master integration can be fun, but they’re basically just static pieces in this mode. They do have unintentional Mini-Con compatible pegs on them, though, so you can play around with that. Really, these pieces are intended to be combiner feet, with the Prime Master integration being secondary.

As I mentioned, this figure also includes the Dinobot Enigma of Combination. Essentially, this is a static mold of a Prime Master in spark mode, so it can be inserted into any piece of Prime Armor or replace a Leader Class Matrix Core. It even has the Titans Return head connector molded in the bottom, so it can be used on any figure from that line, or any later Headmaster release. Again, however, it is a static piece, so it doesn’t have any articulation... also, it looks nothing like a head. This particular Enigma is painted silver all over, with a red core exposed by a vertical cross-shaped opening. It looks pretty cool, and definitely fits with the other Dinobots, but being a static piece means it’s not very exciting.

In robot mode, Grimlock stands at around 7 inches tall with his feet flat on the ground, which makes him almost exactly as tall as Siege Voyager Optimus Prime. This is a little bit inaccurate, since Grimlock is consistently portrayed as being taller than Optimus. That said, I don’t recall him ever being depicted as standing head-and-shoulders over Prime, like the Studio Series version did, so in this case, it’s more of a pick-your-poison type deal. I personally like to have Grimlock and Optimus closer to equal footing, and while this may skew a bit too far in that direction, it works better for me than the Studio Series.

The same can’t be said of him and his fellow Dinobots. Since he’s a Voyager and the others are all Deluxes, they only come up to just below his shoulders. This is definitely not cartoon accurate, since the Dinobots were always shown to be the same size in robot mode. This is yet another compromise for the sake of the combiner, since he’d look a little ridiculous if his limbs were as massive as his torso. The Legacy version seems to be avoiding this problem by doing a six-member combination, similar to the Constructicons rather than a Scramble City mechanism, and of course the Studio Series version doesn’t combine at all. So if you want internally scale-accurate Dinobots, you do have other options.

Combination

The engineering that went into the formation of the Volcanicus torso is admittedly somewhat clever. The entire hip assembly swings down and connects to the robot chest, and the arms curl up to form the combiner mode shoulders. Not only that, but Grimlock’s shoulder wings actually serve a purpose here, connecting to the robot shoulders to hold the shoulder assembly in place. The dinosaur head folds down to form the combiner chest, and a series of panel flips brings Volcanicus’s head out of Grimlock’s torso and shores up the gaps it would’ve left.

Unfortunately, for as clever as the transformation process is, the torso mode itself looks kind of weird. Grimlock’s bodybuilder proportions now work against Volcanicus, as the torso has widened out substantially while the legs remain mostly unchanged. As a result, you’re left with a robot with incredibly wide shoulders and a ridiculously narrow waist, which makes him look... goofy.

There are ways to mitigate this. Grimlock’s hips and knees can still move, so you can spread the legs out a lot more than the instructions suggest. You can also attach some leftover Prime Armor hands to his flanks and fill out his midriff, which is actually a clever bit of spare parts integration that I would’ve liked to see other toys implement. But this can only get you so far when A.) the shoulders still sit a good inch away from the bulk of the torso, and B.) the hips still pivot from the same point under his neck.

It’s unfortunate, especially when you see how good he would look if the proportions were a bit better. I really like the design of the head, looking like a Grimlock wearing a royal battle helmet, complete with gold spires on the front evoking the Crown of Leadership from the comic. It looks like what I’d expect a Dinobot combiner to look like. And when you put the Prime Armor hands on his sides, the torso has a really nice V-shape to it, plus the way Grimlock’s shoulders and back wings come together to form extra torso bulk looks really solid. There just needed to be a way to bring the shoulders in tighter and bulk out those hips. As it is, Grimlock comes off as one of the weaker Prime Wars combiner torsos.

There is one last feature to discuss, which involves the Enigma of Combination. Folding the dinosaur head forward and opening the jaws reveals a slot for it, or any other Power of the Primes gimmick item. It doesn’t really do anything, it’s just for show, but it does give you a bit of display option, and a bit of play option if you use your imagination.

Final Thoughts

For as critical as I’ve been, I still consider this a worthy Grimlock figure. Sure, he suffers a bit for the combining feature, and the combined mode itself is rather weak, but I think the added play value of being a combiner torso does offset a lot of his shortcomings. I personally have lots of fun with this guy, both solo and combined with his other Dinobots. Ultimately, it’s down to personal preference. If you want a full-size, cartoon-accurate Grimlock that comes with all his accessories, you’d definitely be better off getting the Studio Series version. If you want a combining Grimlock that’s still in scale with his teammates, you might want to wait and see how the Legacy Core Class version comes out. But if you want something in between those two extremes, Power of the Primes Grimlock might be worth seeking out if you can get him for a good price.

Okay, then. One down, four to go.

[avatarcompanion]

I finally watched the netflix live action. Binged in a few days with a friend.

Overall verdict: it's good, of course doesn't surpass the original, but brought a few interesting new angles.

My main complaint is it's kind of dull, particularly in the beginning. Not so emotionally engaging, every character has been toned down in some way, they took out most of the cartoonish humor and heartwarming moments and just quirky shit that made Avatar special - obviously it's to "age it up" in the tone and themes, which is fine, but they need to replace it with some other kind of soul.

Visually, it's perfect in my opinion, they re-created the visuals of the show in live action in a way I found impressive - I feel like I am in the Avatar world, all of the casting is at least decent, however the direction and some of the writing didn't make me FEEL like I was watching Avatar.

This aspect did improve gradually through it's 8 episodes, making it more engaging to watch as we went along, with more emotional engagement and heartwarming moments that made me enjoy the cartoon series. Then again, I'm honestly not sure I would be hooked on this franchise just watching the first few episodes of the original cartoon - at least, I think most hardcore fans would admit their deeper engagement grew throughout the show.

In the end, I felt convinced I'm watching the same characters in the same world and an overall similar story, albeit an altered one with a different take. It's clearly a re-interpretation that doesn't pretend to be otherwise, and I rolled with that. No, I don't really mind some moments were "OOC" or off, because that's what it is - it's fanfiction, and I found it entertaining to be thrown off my expectations and see this AU version of the story and characters. They are allowed their own interpretation, as far as I'm concerned, and I can take it or leave, it doesn't move the cartoon 1 mm. I prefer it this way, so you can't let the characters from the live action inform the original, except if I want to.

I was happy when the live action veered off from an exact retelling of the cartoon, because when they re-created almost the same scenes, it was hard not to compare mentally with the cartoon and analyze for the "flaws" in recreating something that was already loved. In the end, I felt like I didn't have too, because they'd changed too much.

I was fine they cut-off some of the fillers and really childish elements, and instead included worldbuilding from Korra or the comics. I honestly I didn't really mind they put away some of the focus from the younger characters (Aang and Katara) to the older characters and including Azula, because they weren't really trying to pretend like that's not what they were doing. (Unlike the cartoon which presents as being all about Aang, and then let's Zuko take over lmao). I think in the end the series can find it's own balance, and some developments might go differently and a bit slower. Clearly Aang and Katara is still a main relationship, even if it's not as explicitly "the heart of the show" and probably some romantic undertones will develop more slowly, which I do not mind.

Probably the most interesting aspect was making a canonically consistent, yet completely different angle for the presentation of Azula, actually. I'll make a separate post on that.

One issue with the marketing is they sold the show as a pretty 1:1 re-telling of the cartoon, and it wasn't. Likely they wanted to distance themselves with the movie-that-won't-be-mentioned, and this is obviously much, much better than that. However, it's not the cartoon, it's not trying too hard to be, and that's kind of great.

So not perfect, but worth watching. It's Avatar, but it's completely it's own take on it, it lets new things come out and some stuff die. They want to do their own thing, and what they should improve is developing more soul of their own, not becoming more purist canon or whatever.

[elminx]

Astrology 102: How to Read Aspects

Note: I am using my client S's chart with permission to illustrate this example. You can view my natal birth write-up for them here and purchase your own natal birth chart write-up from me over on my KoFi commissions page.

Reading natal birth chart aspects is simple but it does involve learning a new language and set of symbols. For the purposes of this, I will stick to the most used aspects (conjunction, opposition, square, trine, and sextile) - there are many more aspects involved in astrology but these are the big 5.

Let's start with terminology:

An aspect is an exact angle made between two or more planets or points in the natal birth chart. Most aspects are tracked in groups of 30 degrees: you will see aspects of 0, 60, 90, 120, and 180 degrees talked about here today. This is because each sign in the astrological wheel has 30 degrees: starting at 0° and ending at 29°.

Aspects have an allowance - an amount of degrees difference between two planets for it to be considered in aspect to one another. These are known as orbs.

For this purpose, let's look at the conjunction which is the easiest aspect to understand. A conjunction occurs when two planets are sitting close to each other in the horoscope.

Let's look at S's chart breakdown quickly

S has one conjunction in their chart: their Mars at 8° Scorpio is conjunct to their Jupiter which is at 3° Scorpio. The orb between these two planets is 5° because that is the difference between 8 and 3.

The allowed orb (how many degrees difference between planets are still considered in aspect with one another) changes depending on a lot of circumstances and is up for some level of interpretation. In general, certain aspects and certain planets are allowed wider (high number) orbs than others. For our purposes, I am going to allow an orb of 5° between planets - this will work for all of the aspects that I am going to explain to your today.

It's worth noting that conjunctions and oppositions are allowed wider orbs, squares and trines are allowed medium-sized orbs, and sextiles are allowed smaller orbs.

Additionally, aspects to the Lights (Sun, Moon, and Ascendant) are allowed wider orbs, aspects to the personal planets (Mercury, Venus, and Mars) are allowed medium-sized orbs, and aspects to the rest of the planets are allowed smaller orbs. You can see why there is a mix-and-match element to this that requires practice and discernment.

To reiterate: we will be talking about Aspects in this article as two planets that are within 5° orb of each other. What aspect that is will depend on the angle of the planets.

If you're not an expert in geometry, angles can seem daunting at first. That's okay - there's a hack for that: you just need to know the interplay between the Elements and Modalities in astrology.

Each sign has an element and a modality associated with it. The Elements are: Fire, Earth, Air, and Water (as they are represented in the natal chart wheel) and the Modalities are Cardinal, Fixed, and Mutable. For our purposes, you don't need to know what these things mean but if you know the element and modality for any particular sign you can figure out what signs naturally form angles to that sign.

For simplification, signs that share an element for a trine with one another and those that are in compatible elements (earth is compatible with water and air is compatible with fire) are either sextile or opposed to one another. Signs that share a modality are either opposed or square to one another. You notice that there is some overlap here - two planets that are in natural opposition with one another will share compatible elements and have the same modality as one another.

Additionally, you need to understand the basic symbols that represent each aspect.

Now, on to how to read a natal birth chart for aspects

There are two ways to read a natal birth chart for aspects, you can read the chart manually (figure out the aspects for yourself) or you can use the aspect calculator chart offered by most astrological free-chart services. I am going to teach you to do it yourself first because this allows you to set the orb which you are calculating rather than having to rely on an orb set by a machine that you may or may not agree with.

If we look at S's chart above, we can see that they have Mars at 8° Scorpio. With an orb of +/- 5°, we would consider any planet to be in aspect to her chart if it is at 3°-13° of any sign. So to get really dirty about it, we can look at her planetary breakdown above and see that the only planets within a 5° orb of her Mars are: Ascendant in Pisces, Venus in Leo, Jupiter in Scorpio, and the North Node of the Moon in Cancer.

For our purposes, we are only looking at the most important aspects so those that are conjunct, opposed, square, trine, or sextile to S's Mars in Scorpio. We know that Scorpio is a fixed water sign - that is the element and the modality. Comparing that to our planets listed above - we know that water elements are trine to one another so Mars is trine to their Ascendant in Pisces and the Nodes in Cancer, and signs that share modality but not elements (Scorpio and Leo here) are square to one another so their Mars is square to Venus. (We already covered that their Mars is conjunct Jupiter above)

Now let's look at how the computer broke down S's Mars aspects.

I still sometimes find charts like this funky to read and I've been studying astrology for over 20 years so if it looks incomprehensible, that's totally okay. That's why I want to teach you how to read aspects on your own rather than relying on charts like this which give you all of the information but none of the details.

This has charted every aspect between S's planets at orbs pre-determined by the computer. It gives you no sense of what are the more important aspects. It does give you the orb degree down to the seconds in each box but as you can see there are orbs as great as 9° listed in this chart which is far wider than we are looking at.

To read this chart, you need to line up the two planets that you are looking to determine the aspect between. As the Sun is the most important "planet", it is the first collum and you get to see all of the aspects that S's Sun makes by following that collum down. You can see by the empty square that S's Sun and Mars are not in aspect with one another.

Since here we're looking at S's Mars, we can skip down to the Mars symbol and read it left-right and top-down. The computer agrees that S's Mars makes a square to Venus with a 4° orb, a conjunction with Jupiter with a 4*° orb, trines to the Ascendant and lunar nodes with a 4° orb, and an aspect that we're ignoring for the purposes of this discussion. Good, we did that right.

I suggest if you are starting out trying to read aspects in a natal birth chart that you start in this way. You decide on an orb (here 5°), you look to see if you see aspects on the general list, and then you check your work with the aspect chart.

Further Details

Let's talk for a minute about the aspects. I'm not going to go into details about the meaning behind each aspect here - that's its own post. But let's talk about the angle and how we can cheat to find them.

Conjunctions occur when 2 planets or points occupy the same space in the natal horoscope wheel. They will most often, but not always, be in the same sign as one another. A stellium is the word used when a conjunction includes more than 2 planets.

Sextiles occur when 2 planets are within 60 degrees of one another. They will most often, but not always, occur between signs that share compatible elements (earth and water or air and fire). Most times they are found between signs that have one sign in between the two of them.

Squares occur when two planets form a 90-degree angle with one another. These most often, but not always, occur between planets that share a modality (cardinal, fixed, or mutable) but are not compatible elements. A t-square occurs when a planet makes squares to both signs that it would naturally be square to - a t-square is actually made up of an opposition and two squares but that is somewhat beyond the scope of this discussion.

Trines occur when two planets for a 120-degree angle with one another. These most often, but not always, occur between two planets that share an element with one another. A grand trine occurs when a planet forms a trine with two other planets or points in the chart in both of the other two signs of its element - in S's chart above, you will find a water grand cross between the north node in Cancer, Mars and Jupiter in Scorpio, and their Ascendant in Pisces.

Oppositions occur when two planets form a 180-degree angle from one another (aka are opposite to each other on the horoscope wheel). This most often, but not always, occurs between two signs that share a modality but are in compatible elements. A grand cross occurs when there is an opposition in the natal chart that forms natural squares with a second opposition in the natal chart.

After a while of studying astrology, you will naturally have memorized what signs naturally make these angles with each other which will help you to do aspects on the fly.

The Main Complication

The above works most of the time. The problem, of course, is that signs do not exist in a vacuum and one sign always leads to the next sign of an incompatible element. Our horoscope wheel starts with Aries and goes fire->earth->air->water->fire all the back around to the last sign of Pisces which then starts the cycle over.

That means that any planets that are close (let's stick with our example of 5 degrees) to the edges of a sign may form aspects that differ from our cheat examples above.

The hardest thing for astrology beginners to remember is that 29° of one sign is directly next to 00° of the sign after.

I will use my own chart as an example here since S's does not contain this. In my chart, my Venus at 29° Gemini and my Mars at 1° Virgo are sextile (~60° of one another) even though they are not in compatible elements (Gemini being air and Virgo being earth). The orb between them is 3°.

*the computer got more technical and called it 4° rather than my rounding of 5° due to seconds, but I digress

---------------

I hope that was helpful. I tried to break this down to its simplest parts but may have missed something so feel free to comment or send me asks for any clarifications that you feel you still need.

Do you like my work? You can support me over on KoFi with a tip, or you can purchase a chart reading or buy some art.

[rainbowsky]

Hi! I’m quite new to the fandom, so sympathize with me for digging up into something very old, hehe. Regarding the famous WeChat number exchanged-but-never-used from the DDU episode in 2017 to the filming of the Untamed, to me it’s simply impossible. I have been living in Asia for 10 years (Singapore and Bangkok), working with students, mostly Chinese, of the exact same age of DD at that time. Considering the extreme easiness of online communication for this specific demographic 1/2

2/2 (especially in comparison with IRL awkwardness), it’s very implausible that they didn’t talk. Moreover, the physical proximity of the first table readings says tons, as I remember my farewell from my job in Singapore (where I worked for a few years) most of my colleagues were very uncomfortable, or at least stiff, in hugging me or have any form of physical contact. This bring me to think that maybe DD had already GG in mind while singing Nan Hai passionately during produce 101? Your thoughts?

Yeah, Anon, I have had the same thoughts and feelings about this. It doesn't add up.

I should point out that the whole 'adding each other on WeChat' thing is somewhat disputed among BXG, and can lead to some arguments and controversy.

There are BXG - both internationally and in the Chinese fandom - who insist that they've seen an interview with GGDD where they talked about how they'd gone to add each other on WeChat when they started filming The Untamed, but realized they were already linked (from back in 2017 after that DDU episode) and just hadn't made use of the connection.

I am one of those fans. I saw the video with my own two eyes. But there are many who have not, and over the years the video still hasn't resurfaced anywhere, so a lot of BXG think it simply never happened, and doesn't exist. I really wish I'd saved that one down, but that was back before I learned the hard way just how much content disappears in this fandom.

So for that reason, the WeChat theory should definitely be classified as unverified. Because I can't produce the video and no one else has been able to either, there is simply no existing proof. That makes it, at best, one of the mysteries that this fandom is known for.

In any case, because I saw that interview and because I believe that it really happened and because of everything you said above and that I myself believe, I think they were well-connected with each other long before filming started. Very likely dating, but at least good friends with strong chemistry.

Given the chemistry they have, I feel it's highly unlikely that they didn't immediately know where things were heading between them. I talked about this before in a shameless CPN post a while back.

My timeline reflects, for the most part, how I see things having possibly happened. It needs some updating and there are things about it that totally annoy me (for example, the whole Japan trip breakup rumor thing is pure fan fiction and not at all credible in my opinion), but the main framework of my timeline overall still mostly reflects my thoughts.

There are other timelines and interpretations. No one knows for sure and the truth might never be revealed. No one is right or wrong, I've just stated my own opinions on it.

The one thing I feel quite adamant about is that they were definitely a couple during filming. I know a lot of fans have this idea that they didn't get together until afterward but that doesn't track with what I've seen in the BTS, or with my own understanding/experience with men, dating, sexual attraction, etc.

I also feel that their behavior at the booting ceremony almost identically mirrors their behavior on Weibo night. The breaking of the ship and the need to hide their relationship onstage - it's so similar to how they were acting on that first day, it's hard not to 👀.

But like I said, there are a lot of different opinions and perspectives and we don't have to pick one. It can be fun exploring it all from various angles.

As for Nanhai - there's no question in my mind that he was singing for GG that day. He had talked about Nanhai in interviews previous to that as well, and it was well-established that was his favorite love song. When he connected it to GG in the interview they did together it only confirmed it all. He even sang it in the BTS to GG's face, as GG was singing Kepler to him. I mean... it's about GG. End of story.

In my opinion.

[macandriley]

5x06 - A Very MacRiley Analysis

Obligatory post to answer the age-old question: What do you see in MacRiley?

I’d like to start this off by saying, like a lot of you, I had very minimal hopes for this episode. I really didn’t expect anything to happen on the MacRiley front—especially not something that would significantly impact that storyline. 

But...I do enjoy being wrong.

Full transparency: this is not an episode review. If it were, I’d have to talk about the glaring plot inconsistencies and strange timeline. And I feel like I’ve already talked myself hoarse over that. 

So, without further adieu, let’s get into the long-winded analysis. 

The Cold Open

Absolutely irrelevant to the overall story and to this analysis. I just really like the way Mac says, “Riley, take the wheel,” and I thought it deserved an honorable mention.

“2020 Is Gonna Be Awesome”

Here, we cut to quarantine shenanigans. It’s cute. Fun. To see Riley and Bozer interacting like siblings again after so long just felt right.

Now, this is the pandemic, so of course conversations of toilet paper shortages arise. So Mac, in true MacGyver fashion, throws out some fun alternatives like newspaper and pine needles. And Riley shoots them all down, as she should. 

Because in the immortal words of Desi in 5x04, “Ew.”

This is when Bozer mentions that they could use the cardboard from Riley’s moving boxes. A seemingly innocent suggestion on the surface. If you don’t pay much attention to it, it goes right by without any fuss. 

However, at this point in canon, here’s what we know:

Bozer knows about Riley’s feelings for Mac

Riley has verbally told him that the reason she’s moving out is because of MacDesi. (Though her exact reasoning might’ve been intentionally misleading on her part)

So what does this mean? Well, to put it simply, Bozer is encouraging her to embrace living with Mac. To unpack her bags and stick around a while. A suggestion that Riley seems to ignore, as she says she’s dead set on getting out of there the second the pandemic allows.

Of course, the second she mentions moving, Mac picks back up with his beautiful Fauci song. Could it be that Himbo Barbie doesn’t like talking about Riley leaving? That’s open for interpretation.

Bonus points: Mac (incorrectly) blames Riley for not doing the dishes and it’s just adorably domestic. 

Getting Fed

Again, this scene is insignificant. The OG trio sit down to dinner, with Desi and Matty on video chat. It’s cute. 

But there is definitely something to be said for the way Riley looked at Mac when he mentioned having a private chat with Desi. My heart really went out to her there, because it must seem to her like she’s constantly being overlooked. 

After dinner, Riley and Bozer share a brief conversation. She expresses a disinterest in discussing her feelings, and reaffirms her choice to move out.

But Bozer reminds her that she’s only moving out so she “doesn’t have to watch Mac and Desi together,” and that “At this moment, it doesn’t seem like they are.”

This scene is important for two reasons: 

Bozer is clearly more supportive of MacRiley, which makes him honorary ship captain (as far as I’m concerned). 

it reaffirms the fact that her feelings are still very real, no matter how hard the lady doth protest.

Kitchen Floor Confessional

You all know this one from promo. After a tense conversation with Bozer, Mac heads inside to do the dishes. Riley, being the helpful person she is, offers to lend a hand. 

One thing leads to another, and the two wind up sitting on the floor by the sink, side by side. Just talking. The conversation comes to an end when Riley, who looks as though she wants to say something else, decides against it. (This “something else”, of course, would have been her confession). 

Cue the somewhat longing, emotionally charged staring from both parties. 

At this point, Mac says he’s going to go for a jog and abruptly leaves Riley alone in the kitchen. It’s clear by the look on her face that she feels, in some way, rejected. And the viewer is, at least for now, left to ponder why Mac seemed to cut the moment off so strangely. 

Though one could hypothesize that, just like Riley’s being packed and ready to go, Mac’s running has a little more to do with the emotional distancing than physical. 

The Parking Lot

Here we see Mac run off to speak to Desi. A scene I will not discuss at length, because the idea of playing footsie makes me cringe in the deepest recesses of my soul.

A little ways away, Bozer asks Riley if she told Mac about her feelings. She tells him she didn’t and that she’s glad, because she doesn’t want to be the thing that comes between them and their “happiness” (happiness is in quotes here because it seems like “anger” and “annoyance” are more common for them).

The dialogue in and of itself is not what I want to focus on here though. It’s the way the scene is framed.

Outside of the close-up shots for MacDesi’s conversation, much of the camera angles are from Riley’s perspective. Distant. Detached. The standpoint of an outsider looking in—of a girl watching the man she cares about being happy with someone else. 

The camerawork here makes this more of a Riley-centric moment than a MacDesi one.

Which is important because, from a narrative standpoint, there is no reason to frame it that way unless her emotions are going to be focal later on. This entire exchange implies that, in some way, Riley’s feelings are, were, and will be important to the plot. 

Yay for directorial story telling. 

A Moment

What to say about this scene? 

Mac has a heart to heart with Bozer and promises to be more present in his life. Bozer thanks him and begs him to finally clean the damn kitchen.

And agreeing, Mac turns away to do just that. Only, he stops himself short and tells Bozer he has one more thing he’d like to discuss.

The quote went as follows: “Kay, so...in the kitchen here a couple nights ago with Riley, there was a, uh...I don’t know, a moment.”

As I’m sure every MacRiley knows, him acknowledging that scene as a legitimate moment between them was incredibly unexpected. They’ve arguably had “moments” before, but only Riley ever seemed to notice them. Mac never mentioned having feelings, or even seemed like he might be aware of them.

This scene is the first time we’ve ever had direct confirmation that he feels—at least, in some capacity—the same way. 

To make it even better, this scene happens directly after MacDesi’s footsie match in the parking lot. Which means that, even when he’s got positive momentum with Desi, he’s still got Riley on his mind. 

Side note: I personally think this explains his behavior in 5x03. He doesn’t see Riley reciprocating, and he’s probably incredibly worried about screwing up all their history—an issue he doesn’t have with Desi, since they didn’t have much of a friendship first. 

So he throws himself back into that in an attempt to smother his feelings. Will it work? Only time will tell.

Ending

After cleaning up the kitchen, Mac picks up the piece of glass he’d left on the floor and, surprise surprise, finally gets an idea for his ventilator. Some fans say this is Riley’s influence, which I can honestly see. 

Especially given the quote Mac says at the end:

“When the world feels like it’s so turned upside down that it’s impossible to fix, it helps to look at things from a different angle. Because no matter how broken something appears—whether its your grumpy neighbor, your terrified best friend, your estranged girlfriend, or a shard of glass—that broken thing could inspire something new...Maybe even something better than before.”

I believe this is a direct foreshadow to MacRiley. Somehow, his fractured relationship with Desi will make him see what he COULD have with Riley. This “new angle” might even help him see that he’s better off as friends with Desi (something new), and that he might be happier in a relationship with Riley (something better).

And if you still don’t buy that, well...the scene transition seems pretty damning. 

There was absolutely no reason the camera couldn’t have faded to Bozer. Or to a shot of all three of them. This feels incredibly intentional, no?

In Conclusion

“Codex Adrenaline” and “Quarantine Cabin Fever” are cop-outs. Riley still likes Mac. Mac now likes Riley. And we are 100% going to see more development on that front. So is this a win?

I think so.

But I wanna hear from y’all. What did you like about this episode? What did you hate? Do you feel like they’re leading up to something bigger for MacRiley?

I’d love to hear y’alls thoughts. 

[skellebonez]

He's Been Hurt Enough (Monkie Kid Cursed AU Fanfic)

And here it is, the follow up to Stop Lying To Me! This went through an overall minor rewrite after @winterpower98 posted some more Cursed AU art and I think it turned out much better for it.

Quick note: once again this is my interpretation of a possible way the revelation could go. I decided to go with a “Mac told Sun everything while MK was transformed last time and that’s part of why he got the stuffing beat out of him and was out of commission last fic” angle. (also no I definitely did not accidently post a draft of the summary by itself when I meant to queue this, that totally did not happen(that happened))

Summary: Wukong has questions, Macaque surprisingly has answers, and MK... well, MK is going to be just fine if Macaque has anything to say about it.

Warnings: mild descriptions of healing inuries from the last fic, hint of child neglect if you are familiar with the AU, Macaque is sightly (incredibly) out of it due to medicine

----------

The first thing Macaque noticed when he came to was that his head felt... wobbly, despite the fact he was clearly laying down and not moving. The second thing he noticed was a disgustingly bitter sweet taste sticking to his tongue. The third thing he noticed was that he laying chest down on a (very small and familiar smelling) pile of clothes. The fourth thing, oh it was a lot of things coming very slowly right after the other which was odd, was that he was completely shirtless and that the only reason he noticed this so slowly was half of his body was almost fascinatingly numb, outside of the warmth of the fire that seemed to be burning in front of him. The last thing he noticed was a very close, also very familiar, and very angry (worried?) looking face of a monkey right in front of his (coincidentally blocking most of that fire light).

"Congratulations," Wukong said flatly. "You are officially not dead."

Macaque stared at the other monkey for a moment before attempting to speak, coughing as the dryness of his throat hit him full force. Before he could move himself, Wukong grabbed his face (gently, more gently than he remembered being touched by the other in so long) and held something to his lips. When he tilted the object and water began to hit his lips he opened his mouth and drank, Wukong never allowing the water to flow from the canteen fast enough to risk him choking on it. It must have been emptied after a short while because the Monkey King took it away faster than Macaque would have liked, but it had been more than enough to quench his thirst and allow him to clear his throat and begin talking. "What... happened?"

The angry (worryied?) look on the other's face deepened. "Should I start when I woke up to you bleeding out over my sucessor? Or should I start when I tried to give you medicine the first time you woke up and you shoved the entire thing in your mouth?"

Well. That second bit explained part of the numbness. And the taste. And possibly why his head felt like it was swimming in that iced cream stuff MK liked so much. He was almost certainly, no definitely, very out of it from whatever Wukong had intended to use to dull his pain. Fantastic.

Instead of voicing all of this he simply said "The... first part?" His voice was rough, but firmer than it had been the first time. He had not realized how almost slurred his words has originally sounded. Wukong' expression softened and. Oh... OH, it was a worried look after all. Huh. Macaque did not expect that. That was... well, not new. But he hadn't seen that in a long time. He... missed that. He didn't realize he had missed that.

"I woke up and I smelled... blood," Wukong started softly. "I was confused, I thought that maybe I hadn't been out for very long after we calmed down MK and you hadn't treated my wounds yet but," his hand went to his side where the bandages Macaque and the kid had carefully applied still held tight. "When I looked around I saw you. Laying face down with one arm over him. And you were just. Just COVERED in blood Macaque. I thought you two had been attacked, I didn't know what kind of demon could do that to you and thought that both of you were hurt." He ran a hand down his face, taking a deep breath, reaching over to prepare something behind him. "It wasn't until I rushed over that I realized that MK was passed out and aside from scratches on his arms you were the only one that was badly hurt."

There it was, the memory of what happened finally came back to him. Telling the kid the truth. The kid losing it. Holding him until he was able to fight back the transformation. The claws. The bite. His arm throbbed, the first not numb thing about his body he felt (though not fully painful), and he was surprised that he hadn't noticed his injured arm laying out in front of him until that moment, fully bandaged and (thankfully) not looking like he was missing a chunk of himself after all.

"MK's been out since I got up. You were completely unresponsive until early sundown, and when you did wake up you were in too much pain to tell me anything. I tried to get you to take some medicine but you grabbed my arm and shoved the entire bundle in our mouth. You passed back out before you could try to eat the salve I put on your wounds too. I'm amazed y-"

"I told him," Macaque interupted without prompting, and when Wuking spun around (too fast you idiot you're going to hurt yourself) with a wet cloth in hand he just let the words fall from his mouth. Why stop them? He had already told Wukong as much as he had told the kid, and the evidence of what had transpired was litterally all over him. Not much he could hide now. It was the exact opposite of what happened then, no more tar and honey returning. Bittersweet and if he were to give it flavor it would be buttercups. "After he passed out the first time I treated your wounds and when he woke up he helped me and then started asking questions..."

Without saying a word Wukong sat and listened, face tightening as he gingerly removed something from his back (gauze perhaps, he had no bandages on) and ran the cloth over numb cuts. He looked only between the wounds and Macaque's face, letting him retell every detail. "Kid tried to fight it but I just. I didn't know what to do when he started to change again so I... I..." He coughed, throat growing dry again.

This time Wukong stopped him, holding the canteen (not empty after all) to his lips again. They sat in silence for a moment, him drinking and Wukong turning to grab a container and fresh gauze and bandages when he stopped. He nodded, going back to the other monkey's back and Macaque realized the container was healing salve for his wounds. He didn't need it or the medicine, not really, but even with his fast healing and sturdyness it never hurt to have extra help to speed up the healing process. "You what, Macaque?"

"I... think I... hugged him into submission?" Macaque scowled, not sure if he even believed what he was saying and not missing the shocked look on the other's face. "And he bit me." He added quickly.

"He BIT you!?" The Monkey King leaned sideways, looking at Macaque increduously before his gaze veered over to his bandaged arm. "Well. That explains... the everything. Your back and arms looked like you were nearly gored from behind, but with how long his claws get when... yeah, that adds up."

"Is he ok?" The question came out without him even thinking about it. Damn medicine... But this only seemed to make Wukong shake his head with a surprised chuckle.

"Yeah, MK is fine. Exhausted, but fine. I treated his arms after I got your back to stop bleeding." He went back to applying the salve, touch a bit more firm as he rubbed it through his now less matted fur. The pressure would have normally made Macaque tense but now it just made him relax further into the clothes he was resting on (which he now noticed were Wukong's top layers and a blanket the kid insisted they each got at one of the many villages they passed through).

For a while the two remained silent, the Monkey King dressing the wounds on the Six Eared Macaque's back. Maybe it was the exhaustion kicking back in or something else, but Macaque just allowed himself to lay there and not think of anything. His mind tried to wander a bit, somewhat toward the kid and somewhat toward the odd reactions of the king, but nothing really stuck with his head swimming as it was. He only opened his eyes (when had he let them close?) when he felt a gentle touch on his arm. He watched as the bandages were unwrapped slowly and the same treatment given to his back was repeated.

"You're lucky he didn't bite your dominant arm," Wukong said softly, finally breaking the silence with a shakiness in his voice that was almost missed. "Or break your arm completely. You'll heal fine, but if you were anyone else you wouldn't even have an arm to treat right now...." He shook his head and under his breath he heard the king mutter "What were you thinking?"

Macaque looked away, gaze catching the still sleeping form of MK on the other side of the low fire. The kid would be exhausted from his second (almost) transformation in 24 hours for a while yet and that made his chest hurt just like before. He remembered the betrayal on his face, so much like and yet so much worse than when he betrayed him by stealing his powers. He remembered how the kid seemed to need the hug he had offered him so long ago at the start of all this as much as he did. He remembered how scared he looked at the prospect of seeing his parents again when he asked about them. And he remembered how much he kid laughed on this journey, how happy he seemed every time he was praised for even the smallest things, how he offered Macaque so much without asking for anything in return even before he put that stupid headband on the kid. He remembered how, despite everything... MK wasn't giving up on him...

He looked back at Wukong, grabbing his leg with as much strength as he could muster in his hurt arm until the other returned his gaze. "He's been hurt enough."

There was an understanding in Sun Wukong's eyes. For the first time in more years than Six Eared Macaque would admit... they understood each other completely without needing more words. MK had been hurt enough. They would take as much hurt away from him as they could.

The moment was broken when his grip weakened he closed his eyes, unable to stay open for as long as he would like, and when he opened them back up Wukong had already finished bandaging up his arm. He noticed a soft pressure around his tail but said nothing, not right now, and he only moved when there was a gentle tapping on his side. "Can you sit up a bit? I need to put on bandages, then you should get some more rest."

Macaque complied, using his good arm to raise himself up just enough for the other's arms to go under and around him to pass the bandages between hands (no, it was not a "almost hug" no matter what his tired brain told him). It was done sooner than expected and a gentle hand on his shoulder pushed him down into the soft fabric beneath him, his gaze fixed firmly on the soundly sleeping form of the kid as he watched to make sure he was really just sleeping.

If he noticed that there were soft claws running through his hair he said nothing. And if Wukong noticed the squeeze of a tail against his own he said nothing either. Eventually he let his eyes slip closed once more, feelin his chest rumble in a soft purr. The claws against his scalp stopped and there was a warmth after a while, a weight around him. Wukong must have laid a blanet over him, but the claws returned and their tails remained intertwined even as he moved to his other side. It wasn't until he felt a rumble beside him that wasn't his own that he realized the blanket was over both of them. He said nothing, not caring about the implications as he allowed himself to drift off into sleep.

And if he, maybe, dreamed of watching the two people he had reluctantly grown to care most about happy... well, he wouldn't say anything about that either.

[baixueagain]

Your thoughts on The Witcher s2? So far I've been seeing very mixed opinions; show-only fans tend to love it just fine, book readers are fuming about the changes/additions, the game fans seem to still not have gotten the memo that the show has exactly nothing to do with the games.. in other words, it's a whole lot of mess right now.

BEWARE, S2 & BOOK SPOILERS BELOW!!

I'm only on ep 3 so far as I've been watching it with a friend. I'm actually enjoying it for the most part. I like that it's fleshing out events between SOD and BOE, since those are actually pretty hazy in the books.

What they did with Eskel was...eh. The concept was cool but they probably should've used a new made up witcher for that since of course there's gonna be backlash for going that far off script with an established canon witcher. That said I think his fans are probably getting a bit too worked up as most of his lore comes from the games, not the books, and this show has very little to do with the games outside the occasional Easter egg.

I'm bummed that so far they've changed Triss's story with Sodden. Her being initially listed among the dead plays a big role in her trauma and her survivor's guilt, so seeing that given to Yen instead was disappointing. Yen already has a really strong arc in this show so it seems unnecessary, especially since it's almost immediately undone when Yen shows up shortly afterward. Triss's PTSD and survivor's guilt was something that really resonated with me in BOE so I'm sad that part of that has been skipped over. We may get more of it later on but idk.

That said, I'm really enjoying that Cahir's story pre-BOF is getting more fleshed out. In the books we don't actually get to know him until he's completely disillusioned with the Empire, so it's really cool to see an idea of what Cahir might've been like before that disillusionment sank in. I'm really enjoying the angle that he was a true believer beforehand.

There are also some things you can gloss over in writing that would just not work for a TV series, so I'm glad we're actually getting to see a more detailed interpretation of Yen's arc since in the books we mostly follow Geralt and Ciri. It's been very cool to follow the elves, too, and see the roots of the Scoia'tael and their alliance with Nilfgaard (side note, if you don't follow Filavandrel's actor on twitter, please do, Tom is a TREASURE).

I'm curious about how they're going to set up Vilgefortz as the final Big Bad though, since in this he seems very much like someone who is only just now getting a taste for power rather than someone who's been plotting for years. Even so, Mahesh Jadu is killing it and he's not hard to look at in the least...

Anyway I'm trying to keep an open mind. The books are my favourite of course, but this IS an adaptation and so it's going to stray and do things differently. Ultimately my concern is if the show stays true to the spirit of the books in terms of themes and characters, rather than if it rigidly follows the exact same plot beat for beat. So far it's done a pretty good job of that.

[crash-cinematic-universe]

a beautiful sight

pairing: peter maximoff/reader

summary: peter maximoff is good at getting himself into trouble. you’re good at getting him out of trouble. what happens when you get tired of the same old routine?

warnings: there is angst for a moment and then they just start fucking. language warning and also sexual content warning

notes: this took so long. this took me so long to write. this took me so long to write and i am so sorry about that. this is 4k words long i hope that eases the pain. also i tried to keep the pronouns gender neutral but since they are having sex the reader is written to have “female” genitalia

taglist:  @stranger-names @gooseyhouse @parkersdarling @amourtentiaa @toodles-me-doodles @rottenstyx

            Your hands gripped the leather steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip, your teeth clenching so hard you feared your jaw would snap. Fat raindrops smashed against the windshield before quickly being swept away by the automatic wipers. Street lamps and stop lights sparkle in the rain, making for a beautiful sight; if you were traveling under different circumstances, you’d probably enjoy the drive. Unfortunately, you were currently being crushed by your current situation, anger simmering within your stomach.

            You pulled up in front of the police station, a withering sigh escaping your chest before the car locks popped open. Determined to keep your composure in front of a bunch of cops-- who, admittedly, you were not on the best terms with-- you kept your chin up and expression stoic as you walked through the rain into the main lobby of the station. 

            The police station was exactly like how someone would expect it to be: the floor was covered with dull white, the walls a similar shade of white. An unsuspecting visitor would be immediately greeted by the uncomfortable and unwelcoming lobby, decorated only with a dying fern in the corner. Four grey chairs sat against the wall, a small wooden side table between them. There were magazines on the table, each one more brain dead and empty than the last. One could only compare reading said magazines to eating only empty calories for their entire lives. 

            A shell of a receptionist sat behind a large desk across the room, and you walked directly over. This one is new-- you’d been here three times in the past three months, but you didn’t recognize her. She was typing away at a computer, her eyes tired and sunken in. There was a coffee cup sitting next to her, but it looked as if it remained untouched for hours. Sluggishly, she looked up at you.

            “How can I help you?” Her voice matched her exterior, a deep fatigue dripping off her words, Obviously, she didn’t want to be there, but you couldn’t really blame her. Who would want to work in such a lifeless place?

            “I’m here to pick up my boyfriend,” You sound tired, not as tired as the receptionist, but still tired. She shoots you a sympathetic look.

            “Name?”

            “Peter Maximoff.”

            You catch a glimpse of the receptionist’s name tag, quickly learning that her name is Nicole. She types something into her computer, adjusting her glasses and leaning in slightly.

            “Alright, miss, he’ll be out in a few minutes. You can take a seat over there,” Nicole gestured over to the makeshift waiting room and you nodded. 

            “Thank you,” Like clockwork, you spun on your heel and landed in the uncomfortable chair that had gotten used to your presence. 

            You hated police stations. They had a certain soul-sucking quality to them; whether or not that quality comes from the poor souls that get thrown behind bars or the pieces of shit that put them there is up for individual interpretation. Police stations reeked of stale coffee and sweat, the occasional police siren cutting through the air every hour or so. The sound alone was hair-raising, especially to someone who landed themselves on the “wrong” side of the law uncomfortably often.

            The sound of footsteps approached the double doors to your left, and soon enough Peter walked through them, his hands still bound in handcuffs. The police officer that escorted him out unlocked his cuffs before disappearing back behind the doors, leaving the two of you in the lobby alone. Well, mostly alone. Nicole was still sitting behind the counter, looking as unenthused as ever. Peter rubbed his wrists, his pale skin an angry red where his cuffs constricted them. 

            He had a black eye, his silver hair messy and unkempt. The Nirvana t-shirt he was wearing was ripped, and dozens of small cuts and bruises littered his body. You already knew he got into a fight, you just didn’t realize how banged up he had gotten. A part of you pitied him. Upon seeing his injuries, you almost allowed yourself to let go of the anger that had been festering inside of you. Somehow, you restrained yourself. Silently, you turned and walked out the front doors of the police station.

            “Y/n--” Peter calls after you, an incoming apology hanging on his lips. You got to the car before he could catch up to you, quickly entering the driver’s seat and waiting in silence. Soon enough, Peter clambers in.

            “Y/n, I--”

            “I don’t wanna hear it,” you cut him off, frustration evident in your voice. Wisely, Peter held his tongue. “You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep recklessly running through the city doing whatever the hell you want. I can’t keep bailing you out, I won’t keep bailing you out.” 

            “I’m really sorry, doll,” He sounds like he’s being genuine, but you were going to need a lot more than one measly ‘sorry’. “I just… I saw these guys beating up some teenager in an alley. I couldn’t let that slide, and god knows the cops aren’t going to do anything about it. I did what I thought was right,”

            “I’m not mad at you for that, Peter. I would’ve done the exact same thing if I was in your position, I’m just… worried. I know you think you need to stand up for the little guys, but you can’t keep putting yourself at risk. I hate seeing you all beaten up like this,” You sighed, taking Peter’s hand in yours. His knuckles were bruised, the new purple splotches decorating his skin. The bruises from the last unfortunate encounter weren’t even fully healed you.

            “I swear, this is the last time you’ll have to do this. I promise,” He smiled weakly at you, and somehow, you managed to swallow the fury that had built up inside of you. 

            “It better be.” You ran your thumb over his injured hand, watching as the dark purple patches disappeared. Thankfully, your mutation guarantees that all of the scrapes and scratches will heal quickly. “Now, let’s go home so I can bandage you up.”

            “I’d like that,” Peter smiles softly. His hand remains in yours as he rests his head against the car window, watching other cars whiz by in the rain. The street lights illuminated the sharp angles and delicate curves that made up his face. Even with a busted lip, Peter was still one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen. 

            The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, the sound of raindrops pattering against the windshield lulling you both. It was late, the sun had long plunged past the horizon and a dusting of stars had appeared in the night sky. You noticed a few constellations as you drove to your apartment, the three signature stars of Orion’s belt catching your eye. A few months prior, Peter had taken you to a large field in the middle of nowhere, the scenery free of the light pollution the cityscape provided. He talked for hours about the stars, going from constellations to the lore behind them to the planets themselves; he even spoke about the star signs. He spoke with such passion, you felt as if you could listen to him talk for hours. 

            You pulled up in front of your apartment, quickly switching off the car. The rain gradually grows harder as you and Peter scurry up the pathway to the apartment lobby. Peter practically dragged you inside; it was obvious that he was struggling to contain his speed. As it turns out, hiding superpowers is much harder than initially expected. With every mutation-suppressing day that passes, Peter grows more antsy and you grow more anxious.

            “You alright, silver?”

            “Yeah, I just wanna get home,” he replies, but it’s too quick. He’s too eager to ward off your concern. He’s hiding something.

            “Peter, don’t lie to me,” Your words are obviously a warning, but they come out much softer than intended. Peter is visibly unwell-- you can’t believe you hadn’t noticed it sooner.

            “Really, I’m fine, it’s no big deal,” It was obvious that he was trying to reassure you and quell your worries, but he was failing miserably. Finally, he surrendered. “Seriously, I’m totally okay. I’m just a little sore and, uh… bleeding,” It’s only then that he lifts up the part of his shirt that hadn’t been torn, revealing a poorly bandaged gash-- you can only assume he got stabbed.  

            “Oh my god,” You gasped, taking a sharp step forward. “Peter, you-- what-- how have-- oh my god,” 

            “It’s okay! Don’t freak out, it’s just--”

            “It is not okay! Not in the slightest!” You pulled him into the nearest empty elevator, immediately slamming your hand on the button for the fourth floor. Peter looked pale and sickly, and upon closer inspection you realized that he was trembling. Still, Peter managed to smile softly.

            “I’m okay, dollface, really,” The elevator dinged, and you practically yanked him out of the small compartment. “Once we get home, you can patch me up, good as new, just like always,” 

            “Peter, why didn’t you tell me?” You fumble with the keys to your apartment, a metallic jingling punctuating your words. After what felt like a billion  years, you finally managed to shove the key into the handle and throw the door open. 

            Like clockwork, you fell into the routine you’d come to know so well. Peter sat on the kitchen counter, taking off his torn and tattered shirt and waiting patiently for you to come to his aid. You took a sharp left into the bathroom, your knees hitting the floor as you dig through the cabinet under the sink. The glimmering white gloss of the first aid kit caught your eye; within seconds you had yanked it out from between the extra toilet paper and the windex. Although you could heal the worst of the cut with your mutation, you still had to bandage it and disinfect the giant gash. 

            “Okay-- just try to hold still. You know the drill,” Peter nodded slightly, sharply inhaling as you pressed your fingertips to his pale skin. He leans back on his hands, his eyebrows furrowing as he hisses. The open wound on his abdomen begins to slowly recombine causing blood to gush out of the cut. You’re quick to wash it away with a wet cloth. As extraordinary as your healing abilities might be, they don’t take away the painfulness of any given laceration. For the next minute or so, your beautiful boyfriend is going to be in near agony. Peter’s head falls back as he tries his best to avoid looking at his injury-- he claims it “always makes it worse”.

            “We’re almost done, Peter. You’re doing very well,” You soothe, trying your best to make the process as quick as possible. Peter whimpers as the cut closes and the blood flow stops. The skin where the cut closed was still very red and tender, and any sudden movement risks reopening the wound. This one was particularly bad, the severity and depth of the injury dangerous enough to warrant the consideration of double bandaging.

            A deep sigh escaped your chest; you were tired of this routine. This awful, never-ending chain reaction that almost always ended with you trying to scrub blood out of your clothes. The police station, the arguments, the cuts and gashes and hushed apologies-- you were just so tired. And you loved Peter, you really did, but he didn’t love himself. He was willing to put his own survival on the backburner at the drop of a hat, and even though he usually came out fine, the thought of him getting hurt was weighing down on you. 

            “Y/n?” Peter chimes up, his voice pained and gravelly. You hum in response, too occupied with disinfecting the now healed cut to answer with a full sentence. Peter winced every time you pressed the washcloth to his skin. “I’m sorry,” he spoke softly, his voice wavering with each brush of the rag. Genuine remorse coated his every word, and beneath the gentle tremors and the sharp breathing, his voice is thick with building tears. 

            Peter sits up, a strangled grunt forcing its way out of his mouth. He moves slowly, trying desperately not to agitate the healing skin on his stomach. His shoulders slumped over and his head hung low, strands of silver hair falling over his eyes. It’s getting long. You’ll have to cut it later. Gently, you run your hand through his hair and pull his head up so your eyes meet. Some of the tears had spilled over, leaving glistening tracks in their wake.

            “I’m so sorry,” He coughed, although it seemed as if he was trying to cover a sob. You pulled him off the counter before wrapping your arms around his waist, minding his injury. His skin is warm and littered with scars. He practically collapses on your, gripping at your shirt like it’s his lifeline. “You do so much for me, and I always end up asking for more. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” 

            “Peter, it’s okay--”

            “No! It isn’t! You drove all the way across town at midnight to pick me up from  the police station, only to immediately find out that I got stabbed and decided to hide it from you,” he stuttered, his grip on you tightening ever-so-slightly. “I’ve been a really shitty boyfriend lately,” 

            “Hey, look at me,” you softly cup his face with your hand, running your thumb over the fading bruises from past altercations with assholes in alleyways. Peter Maximoff is nothing if not a hero at heart. “Yes, lately you’ve been reckless and it freaks me out. Sure, I didn’t exactly think I’d be spending my Friday night sitting in a police station waiting room. And, yeah, I’d prefer if you didn’t hide stab wounds from me, but you are not a shitty boyfriend. You’re a wonderful boyfriend who happens to have an uncontrollable urge to help others, even at your own expense,” You press a kiss to his forehead, brushing the hair out of his eyes once again.

            “I just don’t want you to get tired of me,” Peter’s voice is quiet and vulnerable, hesitancy hiding between the syllables. 

            “Me? Tired of you? Impossible,” you enthused, reveling in the slight smile that cracked on Peter’s porcelain face. “I just hope you don’t get sick of my constant worrying,”

            “You know I could never,” A grin grew on his face, and suddenly the sadness and the tension in the air was replaced with content. Peter looked at you with admiration, and within seconds his lips were on yours. 

            Any remnants of the anger you once felt was snuffed out like a dying candle. Your head felt warm and fuzzy as Peter’s hands found their way to your hips. If someone were to tell you that Peter had a secret secondary mutation that granted him the power to subdue any person just by kissing them, you’d believe them wholeheartedly. There was something about the way he leaned against you, encapsulating you in a tight embrace as every aspect of personal space was thrown out the window. You’d call it intimacy, but it seemed like so much more than that. Sometimes words aren’t heavy enough to describe what you felt for Peter, and what he felt for you. That’s alright, though. You do what you can with the words you have.

            Your silver-haired companion takes a tentative step forwards and you proceed to follow his lead, walking backwards until your back hits the wall. He huffs, pulling away from you for a split second so he can whirl you around; Peter always preferred to be the one against the wall, for lack of a better analogy. It didn’t take a genius or a prognosticator to see where this was heading, and judging by the eagerness behind his movements, Peter could see it too.

            Hesitantly, you push him away from you for just a moment. His chest rises and falls in a brisk rhythm as he rests his forehead against yours. You’re still pressed against his chest, and he’s still clutching you like you’re some sort of flight risk. Almost instinctively, you run your hand through his shimmering silver hair. 

            “Peter, less than ten minutes ago you were lying on my counter with an open wound. Are you sure you’re feeling up for this?” A wide smile grew on Peter’s face, and with each passion second you could see his signature cocky stature returning. You knew it wouldn’t last much longer, but hey, might as well let him enjoy it while it’s there. 

            “You fixed me up pretty well, dollface,” Peter pecks you on the cheek and a momentary chuckle escapes you. “I feel better already,”

            “Alright, if you say so,” You grab him by the collar and pull his lips to yours once again. The kiss was eager and needy-- Peter melted beneath your touches, just like always. You ran your hands over his bare skin, reveling in the shutters and shivers that ran up his spine. He pulled you closer, almost as if he thought you’d disappear if he let go. Gently, you raised your arm and began to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck, accidentally tugging on the silver strands. 

            This seemed to set something off in Peter, and in the blink of an eye you found yourself lying on your bed with him hovering over you. His lips were on your neck in an instant, leaving a trail of soft kisses that led all the way down to your collarbone. You could feel Peter’s warm hands snaking under your shirt, tentatively caressing your skin. Although you’ve done this a thousand times, he was still incredibly focused on making sure you were enjoying the interaction as much as he was. 

            You spurred him on in the most obvious way possible; by pulling him back up to your face and flipping him over, swinging your leg over his hips and resting your hands on his bare chest. This position oh-so-conveniently happened to result in your knee pressing directly against Peter’s crotch. You’re quick to replace your knee with your hand, gentle palming him through his impossibly tight jeans. He swallows back a groan, his teeth digging into his bottom lip hard enough to break his skin. You’re quick to reach up and wipe away the blood that formed on his lip, a smirk growing on your face. 

            “Careful, pretty boy. Wouldn’t wanna hurt yourself any more than you already have, now, would you?” The sudden use of his favorite pet name sent shivers down Peter’s spine, his heart rate steadily increasing with every second that passes. You quickly unbutton his jeans before pulling them off, dragging your nails down his thighs as you do so. Before you had the chance to slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, he managed to use his mutation to flip you onto your back. His hands pinned your wrists to the mattress, a smirk stuck on his face. 

            “Y’know, you really do take great care of me,” Slowly, Peter starts making his way down your body. There’s something about how the light hits his face, casting shadows over his sharp features that make him look like some sort of greek god. He hooks his thumbs in the belt loops along your waistband, his eyes not leaving yours for even a second. “I think it’s about time I take care of you,” With that, Peter fluidly tugs off your jeans, discarding the rest of your clothing before settling between your thighs. He rests your legs on his shoulders, his hot breath fanning over your cunt and sending shivers up your spine. The feeling of light kisses on your thighs catches your attention and frustration spreads throughout your chest. You reach down and tug on Peter’s hair, whining in reaction to his ceaseless teasing. He looks up at you through his eyelashes with a cocky smirk growing on his face. After one last sultry look, Peter lurches forward and buries his face in the apex of your thighs. 

            A low moan escapes you as a soft string of praises falls from your lips. The grip you held on his hair tightened as Peter’s tongue circled your clit, sending white-hot waves of pleasure through your body. He pulls his hand off your thigh and immediately buries two of his fingers inside of you. Your head was scrambled, any semblance of coherency that you once had flying out the window with each jerk of Peter’s hand. 

            “Fuck, Peter,” You moaned just a little too loud. Just when you were regaining some sense of composure, the earth-shattering feeling of rapid vibrations ignites every nerve in your body. The combination of Peter’s vibrating fingers buried inside of you and the feeling of his lips working at your clit was just too much, and within seconds you were spasming around his fingers and calling his name. 

             You can’t bring yourself to form words, instead opting to pull him back up to your lips. All either of you could do was grab at each other, desperately trying to pull the other closer than you already were. Peter practically tore off whatever clothing that got in his way, leaving the both of you completely bare. With one last glance up at your face, he waited for confirmation before pushing his cock inside of you. 

            It was as if everything fell into place, the feeling of fullness and passion sending electricity through your body. You hooked your leg around his side, pulling him deeper inside of you as his thrusts fell into a steady rhythm. His pounding was relentless, his chest heaving with every jerk. Peter’s name fell from your lips like a mantra as he punctuated your words with deep thrusts. 

            “S-So good, Peter,” Your words are slightly slurred as you look up at his face. His eyebrows are furrowed in concentration; long, low moans fell from his swollen lips, and for a moment, it felt like music to your ears. “Such a good boy for me,” 

            Peter whimpered and his movements faltered; in one final act of defiance, you used your leverage to flip in around once more. You anchor yourself on his chest before rolling your hips against his, watching Peter’s eyes roll back as you begin bouncing on his cock. A string of senseless noises and incoherent ramblings fall from his lips as he thrusts his hips upwards to meet your movement. His nails dig into your hips so hard that it hurts-- you can’t exactly blame him. 

            “Y-Y/n, please,” Peter begged helplessly, tears building in his eyes. He didn’t know exactly what he was begging for, but he begged regardless. The feeling was so much; it was everything at once, and it was so good he almost couldn’t take it. “P-please, please...” He trailed off. 

            One slight adjustment resulted in Peter slamming into your sweet spot, causing your moans to get damn near screams. Your nails left angry red trails on Peter’s chest, taking their place amongst the countless hickies you left behind before. Then, in a beautiful amalgamation of moans and whimpers and screams, you and Peter came in unison. He snapped his one last time before throwing his head back, emptying himself deep inside of you.

            You watch Peter’s face intently, his eyes fluttering closed and his hair sticking out in every direction. He was practically glowing; completely blissed-out with a golden halo hanging over his head. A soft smile played about his lips as he began to finally catch his breath-- it’s only now that you see the dozens of little marks you left on his body. An odd sense of pride filled your body and for a moment you felt like an expert artist admiring your latest mural. 

            Slowly, you pulled yourself off of him, collapsing to his side and exhaling deeply. He immediately wrapped his arms around your torso, pulling you into his chest and pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. Peter is practically radiating warmth, a strong sense of comfort settling over you and you gently trace his collarbones.

            “I love you, y’know that?” His voice is quiet and dripping with fatigue; it’s music to your ears. 

            “Oh, really? I couldn’t tell,” You joked. Peter chuckled and rolled his eyes before resting his head on top of your shoulder. “Seriously, though, I love you too. Nerd.” He seemed satisfied with that response, nuzzling his face further into your touch.

            Rain softly drummed against the windows, light from the moon and from the city skyline reflecting off the droplets like a billion multi-colored stars. Peter had drifted off to sleep, the gentle glow from the outside world making him look like an angel that fell out of the sky and into your bedroom. Your eyelids grow heavy, and as you succumbed to the influence of a deep sleep, you kept your eyes trained on Peter’s face. He truly was a beautiful sight.