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#theres so much to do and i feel so so guilty about not doing anything and then that mixes in with the unbearable restlessness
fungi-maestro · 1 year
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Questionable Images 1/2 - The Question #8 (1987)
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steviescrystals · 4 months
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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jewishjon · 1 year
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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teeth-kid · 11 months
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were "[insert media] characters as vines/etc" videos ever good or was i just not paying attention
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freakquarantine · 11 months
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post game Vice and Astarion become vampire hunters sort of out of necessity methinks
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broke-on-books · 1 year
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✒️ please!!
Send me a ✒️ and I'll pick a poem I think you'd like
After flipping through my notebooks I decided to go with my first instinct for you, which was "A Toast to the Alchemists" by Laura Gilpin. This poem hasn't been published online officially, so they're aren't a ton of sites that have it that I could find with a quick Google search. However I've attatched photos of a reddit post with it along with my version in my journal.
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I picked this poem because of its themes of time and the passage of time, as well as magic and giving emotional significance to the most mundane and clinical of things (atoms and elements). In other words, taking magic from the world around us, especially through a lens usually seen as lacking wonder or whimsy. Also vibes, I mainly did it based on vibes.
Some other poems I considered in my search/additional recommendations are listed under the cut:
If you liked the writing of this poem, and haven't read it already (or have) I definitely recommend "The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin. It's by the same author and is her most famous poem and is fairly well known and also soooooo good. So good.
Poems with similar themes:
Poems with similar themes to "A Toast to the Alchemists" are
"Dusting" by Marilyn Nelson 💘 (literally cried to this. To be fair it was 10 minutes after I finished the HDM finale so it was mainly because of that but still. Great poem.)
"The Sciences Sing a Lullabye" by Albert Goldbarth
"Ozymandias" by Percy Bysshe Shelley (90% sure you've read this one its the time theme but inverted and it's great if you haven't)
Rejected picks/Poems that gave me Anu vibes (many for no particular reason):
Poems by Ted Kooser for some reason??? NO idea why they're very different from the ones above but some of my faves are "Selecting a Reader", "In a Country Cemetery in Iowa", "The Constellation Orion" and "Flying by Night" (I'm v much questioning this pick now but I'll keep it up here just in case)
Honestly a bunch of random unrelated stuff was popping out at me ("Listen" by Miller Williams, "Cartoon Physics, Part 1" by Nick Flynn, "Snow" by David Berman) and like a million billion more which I all got from the same anthology (Poetry 180, edited by Billy Collins) so if you want to read a bunch more poetry, based on vibes alone, I'd say look for the book, the website, or the sequel. The poems from that book aren't too similar to the one above but it's really one of two books I generally recommend people right off the bat (it was my lit teachers favorite lol) because it's meant to get young adults and teens into poetry and introduce contemporary poetry in general. Idk how much poetry you've read whatever but even if you aren't new to it it's still a good compilation of late 90s/early 00s poetry that makes you think but isn't super long/totally incomprehensible
Anyways that got WAY longer than I anticipated or anyone probably wanted but poetry is an obsession of mine and recommending poetry is much more complicated and harder that it looks, even for the people you know best in the whole world AFTER interviewing their opinions on poetry, not to mention how difficult it would be for internet friends on tumblr. But anyways there's a couple poems, I got the vibes as close as I could with the poems I had on file. (Although i do feel like I'm missing something big 🤔) Anyways thanks for the ask Anu! Hope you thought my pick was alright!
#and please for the love of god dont feel pressured to read ANYTHING on here i spend hours and hours reading poems so when i rattle off names#like that its very much me bouncing along like a frog eating skittles hopping from poem to poem to poem#based on vague vibes and feelings#also also also i already knew this when i made this ask game BUT. recommending poetry is like trying to juggle with your eyes closed because#you just KNOW you just KNOW there is a group of perfect fall in love poems out there but theres a million factors you have to take into#account to find them. like theres theme theres rhyme theres rhythm theres style theres readability/directness#and you have to try and predict someones opinions on all of that while also trying to gauge their level of patience on topics like#age of poem clarity use of standard language and spelling experimental features and line breaks#when a use of any of those they dont like can turn them off a poem entirely#like we were asoue fans together so youd probably like something with ambiguity and could tolerate a more classical look#BUT then comes in the length factor and also a bit clarity plus we have to remember theme and i cant think of any poems that fit that idea#with a theme you would like that i would feel comfortable recommending (because some poems are good but also difficult)#and i LOVE difficult poems theyre my besties but i always hate them during the first 3 reads at least and who has time for that if you dont#have poetry brain disease like i do#anyways. thats a very long way of saying. i tricked you into asking me to ramble abt poetry mwahahahahahahaha#also if anyone out there feels like theyre someone who rambles a lot about their interests to others and can at times feel a little guilty#abt that the poem “To The Sea” by Anis Mojgani talks a bit about that from an outsider pov#blah#poetry tag#answered#jacobsnicket
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themiserymarquis · 2 years
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valentine hates the other rivals' taste in food (which fair enough), but whats their taste like?
They're from a mixed immigrant family! They were given a western name to fit in better, so that's why their name is Valentine Moor instead of Rui Kawai like in other universe's I've thrown them in ^^ So because of their family, they've developed a better appreciation towards eating.
In regards to their taste in food, since they also have an abnormally low body temperature, they like hot soups or anything spicy! Stuff that you have to sit down and enjoy for a decent block of time.
They scoff, placing another stack of envelopes into a bin.
"Psh. I can't understand those three... It's a bit insulting to yourself if you eat unpalatable food when you don't have to."
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snekdood · 2 years
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The way yall assume the worst about vegans is absolutely tiring. Yeah dude i totally care about inserting my hands into your life and morphing you into the way i think you should be. I totally feel like i need to exert that energy towards you and that you dont have the criticial thinking ability to think about veganism and consider if you truly can or cant. I totally totally care about that dude. Goddamn. Just. so so much.
#and if im vegan for religious reasons would you throw a fit about it?#or is it just when i dont want to hurt animals by eating them that you have an issue?#i dont think im better than you. i just dont want to hurt animals if it can be helped.#if i do that for religious reasons im sure youd leave me alone. probably bc you think whatever i believe in is nonsense anyways.#but suddenly when it becomes about how i dont want to eat animals which would mean killing them for their meat. theres an issue.#why is that do you think?#genuine question#you feel like you can assert to me that no one should care all that much about where their food comes from. unless it effects humans ofc.#(which factory farming does but lets put a pin in that for now)#but when it comes to my religious beliefs. suddenly you stop yourself from asserting to me that i shouldnt have a problem woth meat.#plenty of hindus dont stop themselves. theres a whole debate among hindus about whether ppl should or shouldnt eat meat#you feel like you know enough to lecture me on why ppl shouldnt care when i do it for reasons of not wanting to kill. but i tell you its#for religious reasons and you just walk away?? make it make sense#if you know so much better then counter me on all fronts besides the one you're emotionally invested in#bc youve decided me not eating meat is me judging you for being immoral. so now you're telling at me for just... existing#yelling*#if you feel guilty about killing an animal to eat it then thats on you. im not doing anything hut pointing out that thats whats happeningm#you already know intellectually thats whats happening. we've all known basiclaly our entire lives.#why is it only an issue when i bring up that fact. that we kill them for their meat. does just looking the other way feel better? bc thats#what it seems like.#theres no one i respect least than non vegans who refuse to confront the fact that theyre killing something for their own satisfaction.#non vegans who admit theyre killing for sustenance i have way more respect for. they actually look the action in the face at least#and have made a judgement from actually acknowledging the whole situation.#but non vegans who waft around trying to avoid thinking about how something actually died to provide this food for you-#i have no respect for you.#maybe being thankful before you eat would be a good thing for everyone to do. not towards any god per se but. to at least#acknowledge all the effort and blood that has gone into creating your meal before you. yknow. actually sit w the fact you're eating a cow#or something. not to *make you realize youve been eating meat this whole time and feel guilty*#i genuinely think basic acknowledgement and gratefulness of the source of your food is good for everyone to do in general#and those of us in amercia could REALLY stand to learn how to be grateful about others providing for us.
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rotturn · 2 years
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#negative cw#i am feeling. very not good#every day we go to restaurants where there's nothing on the menu i can eat bc all ive been able to manage lately is soup#or sometimes mash potato and gravy but like. its gotta be a Good day and i have not had good days in a While#so i just sit and have nothing while they eat then down an entire block of white chocolate as soon as we get home bc its my comfort food#and like. i dont mind not eating at a restaurant or whatever im cool to chill and chat while someone eats it doesnt bother me#its just when theyre doing it every day and getting annoyed when I say i dont want anything as if they don't already know#mixed w the fact that my sister has been constantly unbearable its just been Rough#esp since we share a room#and we've been having issues w our accommodation in new york but i think hopefully it'll be sorted#im just exhausted and stressed all the time and there's no end in sight#and this trip has just made me aware of how much i do not feel loved by the people who should make me feel loved#like i love my mom and she does her best and she does make me feel better but sometimes shes a part of the problem#and i have support at home my roommates are so good for me but. theyre not here#and i feel shit every time i tell my roommate how i feel bc this is a once in a lifetime trip that she may never have a chance to take#and it makes me feel so guilty and selfish to not enjoy this but its so hard to enjoy#that one week where we were on the boat and i could have multiple soups a day was the only time i was happy#and its because i wasnt constantly starving and we didnt have stress about luggage or where we're staying#but ever since its just been constant stress and anxiety and hunger#and like. theres nothing i can really do ab any of it bc seeking out something i need means they dont get to do something they want#and i cant take what my sister wants away from her bc she'll throw a fit#mum says the usa will be ab me more but i know it wont be. i know exactly how it'll work#i will not have a chance to rest and be happy until im home and even then i have to find a job as soon as im back#bc i have bills and rent and i only budgetted enough for a month after i get back and that's with barely any groceries#and i get the feeling my roommates mad at me or upset ab something but i don't know how to approach it bc im on the other side of the world#and idk i feel like its me i feel like i did something wront#im just tired and sad and hungry all the time#but that's just. kinda my life innit#i just wish. people weren't upset with me all the time. i try so hard not to upset people but nothing i do ever seems good enough#i just want to be good enough. but i know im not.
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svbhuman · 1 year
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ok the stress actually finally got to me today when i have SIX fucking days left until # THAT happens! im so anxious rn bc theres so much to do and its so overwhelming
#the problem is if i stop ill start feeling guilty about wasting away the entire last week#so the only thing i can do is#do the work#but then i cant because theres so much and if i dont plan it out i feel so overwhelmed#but i cant plan it out bc theres so much#plus i always overestimate my efficiency#so i suppose the only thing i can do rn is like DO THE WORK#let me affirm myself for a second i like being delusional about this#i dont need to memorise the essays that much bc if i plan on practising a lot anyways i should theoretically be fine#however i need two backup paragraphs to be written asap#if i do a trial for maths today and gauge my general ability i'll be less stressed about it#besides hearing from the others it didnt seem to be too hard#after that i'll do the proj motion worksheets k*** told us to redo#and then the t*** mechanics worksheets#after that i'll keep doing papers n if i come across anything concerning i'll target those areas i'm missing#for chem if i just do a mod from k****'s documents a day for the next 3 days i'll be okay#folloewd by daily papers afterwards#i'll do a paper today to gauge my ability too#i believe i'll be less stressed if i do#as for latin god am i screwed#as its both in the second week perhaps i'll be okay#i need to edit the aen and juvenal stuff asap so i can memorise it#I JUST FUCKIGN REMEMBERED IM RANKED SECOND AND I CANT AFFORD TO LOSE IT NOW FUCK FUCK#its fine. its fine im ok im ok!#im ok!#iM OKAY#ok dont worry about it memorising takes honestly like 2 days tops#i'll do them#over the course of 18th and 19th#i'll memorise in class lol
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trainer-blue · 1 year
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vent //
school friends dont look //
//
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echo-s-land · 2 years
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Relating to the "eldest daughter syndrome" while not being the eldest is something
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imwetforyourmom · 6 months
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hi can u do headcannons (or a fic idm) of like people pleaser!reader and bf!matt who like stands up for her or tells people off on her behalf?
I really hope this makes even the slightest bit of sense
thank you so much, I love ur writing sm🤍🫶🏼
people pleaser!reader x matt headcannons!
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(I have never done hcs ever, so if its bad thats mb, also I didnt know if you wanted nsfw but I js didnt bc I dont rllt know how to nsfw people pleaser x matt but if tou want me to retry it dont hesitate to ask!!)
warnings: angst, swearing
a/n: I dont rlly know how to write people pleasers and such so thats why its short, but I can try again if you’d like, I also love this idea, thank you anon!! <33
~
- the second someone pushes you around and or walks all over you hes quick to shut it down.
“alright listen man, it was one thing when you told her to fuck off, but telling her to shut the fuck up is another. I need you to leave.”
- when matt notices that someone is using you to their advantage or even notices you going out of your way to please them on several occasions hes getting it done and over with, quick.
“okay. enough y/n, come sit with me. you dont need to do everything for that asshole, k?”
^ he made sure to say it extra loud so the guy heard what matt had said about him.
- after matt had told someone off for being rude to you, you sat down next to him with your head hung low and your eyes filled with tears of guilt.
“baby, whats wrong?” he asked, his arm coming over to your back and rubbing your shoulder.
“that wasnt nice of you to yell at him.. look at him, I feel guilty now.” you spoke, your voice slightly shaky as you motioned to the man whom was anxiously biting his lip with his mouth closed shut, after matt had told him to keep it shut.
“it also wasnt nice of him to yell at you and call you names, was it?” he grumbled, just looking at the guy made him angrier, especially knowing you felt bad for him.
- “no, no, if you want me to. I can!” you spoke, a soft smile on your face as you talked to the girl infront of you, in which the girl had a smirk on her face, catching onto your patterns.. doing anything for the sake of pleasing her.
matt, on the other hand, stood behind you and glared at the girl, his jaw clenching with pure irritation. matt cleared his throat, trying to get the girls attention. and once her eyes met his he brought his hand up and flipped her off.
- in ways of showing you he wasnt happy with what you were doing he’d do subtle motions with his hands or look at you a certain way. you’ve learned that his jaw clenched tightly shut and his eyes glaring at you, then a quick look at the person you were currently giving your everything, is a way of him indicating he wanted you stop what you were doing.
- watching you adapt someone elses personality to try and seem more approachable and less weird truly angers him, despite knowing he cant do anything about it. he feels you should know that you’re perfect just the way you are and dont need to be accepted by everyone, they should like you for who you are.
- “oh..” you mumble, your head hung low as somone insults you and your interests. you cant say anything nor do anything, its not in your nature. you just have to sit there and take it, in fear of disappointing them. and since matt wasnt with you, there wasnt any way in stopping the next few minutes of being insulted.
later that day, when you come home your cheeks are tear-stained, you have mascara running down your cheeks and your breathing is uneven.. theres no way in hell you’re hiding this from matt. you take gentle steps as you walk to his room, slowly pushing his door open and taking small sniffles.
with hearing the door creak open matts lips turn into a grin, that is, until he lifts his head up to the sight of you, looking like you just bawled for hours on end. he quickly tosses his phone on his bed and walks over to you, engulfing you in his arms. already knowing what was going on he didnt ask anything, instead just comforted you.
- “ok! im fucking tired of your shit dude! you’ve been bossing, walking all over her, degrading and just overall being a total dickhead to her!” matt yelled, finally getting enough of this kid being rude to his girlfriend. he stood up from his chair and walked over to carlos. he stood tall and high infront of him. y/n moved behind matt and grabbed his hand, holding it and lightly squeezing, at an attempt to calm him down.
“matt, baby, its okay. im fine. dont yell at him.” y/n whispered, your voice quiet as you spoke. you avoided eye contact with carlos. “no, its not okay! hes being a total asshole to you, y/n. you dont deserve to be treated like that.” he turned around to face you. his voice no longer being loud as he spoke with sincerity towards you.
- you being treated rudely didnt always end up with him yelling at someone. when he wasnt fuming with anger, he would grab your hand and hold it, rubbing his thumb gently over your skin, then pull you into him, in a sense of protection and to tell you ‘enough’ without speaking.
- matt would act almost immediately when he even sees the beginning signs of you starting to act and do everything possible for the person you’re talking to. he would lean down in your ear and mumble quietly, “relax, my love.”
- again, he would make sure to be extra loud about shit talking someone when calling you over to him just to make sure that they know what matt thinks of them.
“cmon baby, that poor excuse of a friend doesnt deserve you.”
“hes being an asshole, my love. dont suck up to him.”
tags
@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @genshin-addict @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @haunted-headset @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns
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00ops1e · 1 year
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taskforce 141 + könig x sick! reader
warnings: emetophobia trigger warning, mentions of puking/being sick, fluff, hurt/comfort maybe??, not proofread a/n: omg here it is. the first cod thing ive written! but not actually theres some filth hiding in my documents. this is totally lowkey a self insert. geared towards female! reader but if you squint at the petnames could be gn. i've been so so sick lately and tbh scares me a lil but what cant be fixed by fictional men?? nothing.
Ghost
 A little bit of a germaphobe
Will take off his mask, but replace it with a medical mask
Only so he can still hold you, just with a peace of mind
He does NOT want to get sick too
Because then how could he take care of you?
Always has a puke bowl at the ready
Orders your favorite takeout, even if you don’t feel like eating
Because hes a firm believer in leftovers.
Which may just be the cause of this
But you'd never tell him. poor man would get so guilty he had forgotten to throw it away.
Puts on a movie and lets you fall asleep on his chest
I feel like he’s a cold-blooded type of person, doesn’t generate much heat
but makes up for it in comfort
so many blankets
so so many. 
Checks your temperature in your sleep
Lowkey counts respirations just to be sure
Makes sure you keep hydrated
Will bring you to urgent care if he’s really worried
No matter how much you protest!
Soap
Squeamish when it comes to throwing up
Will try his very best to stay with you, but sometimes ends up running from the room
Because the last thing he'd wanna do is gag at you
While hes ran away he gets a cold rag to press on your forehead, and clean you up a bit in the process
"yer hidin? awh bonnie i wasnt meanin' to embarrass ye" he says while taking your chin in his hand, forcing you to meet his eyes
"sickness and health yeah? i wanna take care of you"
Insists on rubbing vicks/ vaporub on you
Not because hes a little perv (he is)
But because he loves you and the sniffles break his little heart
peppers kisses across your collarbones, vicks smell clogging his nose
but he’s too focused on the goosebumps that rise on your skin, your little shivers
“Awh, my poor sick lass,”
Constantly checking for a fever
Forcing you to stay in bed, even after you feel better, “not takin chances, rest up.”
this man on the other hand is a human space heater
throwing a blanket on and off the two of you, getting too hot and then shortly after too cold. 
not as convenient when it’s hot out lol
head rubs 
head rubs
Gaz
Tries to bring you to a doctor/ urgent care immediatley
Will try to call an ambulance over a slight fever
Stocks up on pedialyte/makes sure youre hydrated
Cuddles constantly, does not care if he catches anything
loves being the big spoon so he can lay in the crook of your neck and still hold onto you tight 
Has extra blankets on deck
entertains you with silly little jokes
but then apologizes while giggling because you laughed so hard it hurt a little. 
Will feed you cold medicine/tums
teases you when you complain about taking them
“i don’t need you gettin any grumpier love”
Will hold back your hair/ stroke your back while youre getting sick
gets offended when you get embarrassed about it
“are you judging my girl?” he teases you
Tries his best to cook, but lowkey fails miserably
Resorts to cup of noodles and lipton packets. 
Price
Such dad vibes
Will make soup or other comfort foods from scratch
And his cooking skills are unmatched
Runs you a shower/bath and washes your hair for you
back rubs and massages
pressing small kisses to your shoulders as he works
also a human heater but not too hot, just the perfect temperature 
also just the perfect shape to spoon you, cradling every inch of your body
“I hate it when my baby’s sick,” he says, rubbing soft circles into your side
Doesnt even have to make a pharmacy run because hes so well prepared
Feeds you medicine, on the dot, every few hours after it wears off
(he totally sets reminders in his phone. [typing like an old person with reading glasses on])
Will stay in bed all day with you, quietly typing and mumbling to himself while you nap at his side
occasionally leaning down to kiss your forehead while he works
the computer goes away as soon as you wake up
"how're you feeling princess?"
loves having you in his arms, pulled close to his chest
Carries you to bed if you fall asleep on the couch (bridal style ofc)
Will hold your hair back, refuses to leave your side
“Of course youre not gross darling, we all get sick,”
Konig
rubs your back as you're hunched over the toilet
will sit down with you on the floor, back up against the bathtub when its too much of a risk to leave the bathroom
just wants to keep you company :(
"take as long as you need, liebling"
fills up the tub while still convincing you to get in
he promises you'll feel better after
caves and offers to join you as a last resort to get you cleaned up
Long baths, cuddling in the warm water
Letting the steam clear your sinus
Brushes and braids your hair
when you start feeling better but are still running a fever, hes worried.
but youre dealing with a burst of energy and simply must start with the housework
konig will put you over his shoulder and escort you back to bed
will paint your nails in bed to entertain you, anything to keep you still and in bed
Lets you put your cold feet on him, but only when you dont feel good
totally unprepared because i feel like this man has an immune system of steel
makes a quick pharmacy run, but has to call you for the shopping list bc oops he forgot 
depending on how sick you are, lets you come along for the ride
“promise you’ll stay in the car ja?”
always returns with a sweet little treat or small gift/toy for you
“gesundheit!” as he chuckles at your sneeze 
jokes that maybe he should put a mask on you
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rayroseu · 7 months
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"you are just as guilty" ⚔️🥀
last cough of art before the update ahkdhkshsksh AAAAAAAAAAA i dont wanna leave Briar Valley yet 😩😩😩😩 Lilia don't gatekeep all the lore,,, dang it,,,💔💔💔💔
sometimes i really do wonder what Meleanor or Dawn's last thoughts before dying..... ESPECIALLY Dawn... Bro rarely has the chances to express his individuality, he's so tragic to be with the Silver Owls sm.. 😭who suppresses all opinions as seen with their soldier garments (all of them basically have the same motifs and design) in contrast,.. Meleanor's army has differently designed mask to highlight the unique faes they are--
I have this thought that like Silver, he cries about the sins of his nation as well... 😭I think he has regrets that he made Meleanor overblot and blames himself for it 😭 (Like how Silver was the last straw to make Malleus overblot-)
I think its a common interpretation that Dawn is heroic, but I don't think of him that way KSJSKS, not because he's not a hero, but because he's a failed one. In the story, it felt like he was "just a person". He's not perfect, he's flawed.
And, I think the existence of "failed heroes" like Dawn is really intriguing in TWST,,,, because the heroic characters here are depicted as "never failing at anything". Like how RSA characters are. They never lose at anything, but ironically the character most inspired by this school (RSA) failed at "being a good hero."
I'm interpreting he failed because he couldn't make his mission come true; peace between fae and humans, in fact he might have worsened it with the passing of Meleanor 😭😭💔💔
The most tragic thing of all his life, was probably the part where he died, not because of the faes, but of his own fellow countrymen... I imagine in this image, what did he even kill Meleanor for? He couldn't make any peace between faes and humans, he couldn't save his country, we're not even sure if he did use Meleanor's magical stone to save the Human King and if he was successful with it, so if he has failed at everything he aspired to achieve, then what else is the point to all the bloodshed he has faced and committed?
In a way, his "punishment" is similar to Rollo's, celebrated by the achievement he didn't want to commit (except its the good guy this time adskjs)
(Thats why I'm sold at the idea of Dawn just giving up fighting at his death bcs theres no way if he did actually had the motivation to fight, he'd lose against fellow humans when he fought Meleanor on solo akhdkhs... unless they reveal how he died as well next update---🙏🏻✨😳/copium)
In a way, its similar to Silver's disappointment too, that he worked all his life to make Lilia proud, to make sure that faes like his Father can be understood better, only for Lilia to leave him all alone yk... 🥹
But on the other side, I don't think he failed too much... because of his losses, Silver was brought to Lilia 🥹🥹
I feel like Lilia will relate to Dawn as well,,, He said in the story that he sympathized with Dawn because he spared tamago Malleus, but I beg to differ.
I think its actually because like Dawn, Lilia is also a knight who failed at everything he aspired to commit to (he took so long to hatch the egg and he failed to protect Meleanor and keep his promise with Levan that he'll take care of his wife and son-) so at that realization, Lilia probably sees that there's no reason to hate him, they had the same fate, so why would he hate his child as well?
He's not living anymore but I think Lilia could see that Dawn probably awaited for centuries to wake his son up from sleep,,, like how Lilia desperately waited and wished that something would hatch Malleus already 😭😭💔💔
JUST... KNIGHT OF DAWN I'LL REMEMBER YOU FOREVER SKDJSK 😭😭😭😭🫂🫂🫂
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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 8 months
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Drama abounds when you're attacked by monstrous bats after an argument with Eddie and Steve Harrington comes to your rescue...
Warnings: Complicated feelings, unrequited love, angst, mentions of blood.
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This week had officially sucked.
Eddie was too busy following around his new girlfriend like a lovesick puppy to care what you were up to.
You wish it didn't bother you, but it did. All Eddie talked about was her and it drove you mad, jealously that began as small thing had grown and grown the last week or so. It was an awful feeling.
Shouldn't you be happy Eddie had found someone? Someone kind, pretty and who had so much in common with him. That's what a good friend should feel. Right now, this reaction made you feel guilty as hell.
"I don't know what your problem is. Why can't you just be happy that I'm happy! Maybe if you found someone yourself you wouldn't be like this?" Eddie had snapped at you earlier and the crushing feeling in your chest doubled.
It was dark now in Hawkins, Autumn was in full swing, the chilly wind nipping at you as you walked home.
Technically, you should be at Hellfire but after earlier you were in no mood tonight, you just wanted your bed and maybe a good binge of some of your favorite movies.
Anything that would help you forget about your feelings right now. Maybe scary movie, no romance whatsoever.
It was ironic you spoke about scary movies because the next minute you found yourself in one.
Hawkins was creepy after dark and you had heard enough tales from your relatives about the strange shit that went down here. At first you didn't believe it, Hawkins looked like any other picturesque small town... Well, until you looked closer and discovered the rot underneath the perfect facade.
Your friend Robin told you that spooky monsters roamed the woods, the rumours that freaky bat creatures hid in the shadows looking for prey. Not vampires, no actual bats that would rip you apart.
At first you thought it was some kind of old urban legend, that's until the bodies began the pile up and the legend grew and grew.
Now no one went into the woods, not even in groups. No one would risk it. Even walking past the woods to get home creeped you out, even if someone deep inside you were itching to know more about these bats.
Devil bats people called them. The side of you that was a big fan of mystery and investigating had researched as much as you could about these creatures but most of it was flimsy at best.
You're so lost in your thoughts that you miss the screeching sound the first time. The second time however chills you to the bone.
Screams fill the air, a man shouting for help and you freeze for a second before running to help. It's the stupidest thing you've done going straight into a frenzy of bats, but you can't just leave the guy to die.
When you reach the clearing into the woods you find your too late. The man is dead, blood seeping into the ground and bites on his neck.
Hawkins police station isn't far away. Maybe you could find Sheriff Hopper? You're about to run when you hear that screech again and one of the bats swoop down at you.
The tail is long and sharp and it lashes across your stomach before you can even move. Then the second bat is flying at you and you begin to run back out the forest and through the streets.
The bats are following you, four or them whipped up into a frenzy at the smell of your blood. They're smart to and dive down whipping their tails across your legs so you stumble and fall, your head smacks across the gravel on the road and dizziness makes your head spin.
You kick out at one of the bats and it hits the sucker right in the face, the other one uses its tail to wrap around your legs tightly, so hard that the sharpness of its tail cuts into you.
Two of them then work at ripping open your shirt and sinking their teeth into your side. The scream that leaves you is full of terror and pain, no fucking way are you dying now, theres still so much you want to do in life.
Wriggling around you try to throw one of the bats off you and it works but the second little bastard uses its wings and tiny, fierce claws to pierce into your skin to slow down your moments.
Just when it seems all hope is losr something slams into the bat and knocks it off you, you're so grateful for this and peer up to see Steve Harrington wielding a baseball bat covered in nails.
He slams it down on the bats head that has its tail wrapped around your leg and kills it instantly, freeing you. Dazed you stsnd up and Steve tosses you a crowbar.
"Take their heads off"
You don't have to be told twice and make quick work of the bats as more begin to fly your way. Pissed off, you swing the crowbar and tear off one of their tails.
Steve's hiss of pain captures your attention and you rush towards him and pull it away from Steve by its tail, Steve recovers and smashes the bat into its face.
His shirt is torn and you see a small trickle of blood seep through. The screeching stops as the last creature dies.
Tires squeal on the pavement and you hear your name being shouted. Eddie is running towards you, he looks as pale as a ghost when he reaches you and checks you for wounds.
"Eddie, what are you doing here?" Steve steadies you as you stumble. Eddie is still terribly pale as he answers.
"I heard you screaming, I was out looking for you because you didn't turn up at Hellfire and I felt like shit about earlier and then I heard you scream... I couldn't find you and I was terrified"
He's shaking as he takes in your appearance, his eyes wild.
"What the fuck were those things? Sweetheart?" you smile faintly, the adrenaline from fighting the bats wears off and you wince in pain and your head feels like it's spinning.
"I'm fine Ed's... I, woah" you faint and strong arms catch you before you fall.
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When you come to you're at your house and resting on the sofa. Eddie is beside you looking extremely anxious.
"Thank fuck you're awake" his eyes are red and it looks like he's been crying, he won't admit it but you wonder if he was.
"You could have died... Those bats, shit if Steve hadn't found you when he did" His voice trails off and you gently squeeze his hand.
"I'm okay Ed's. Sore as shit but fine" he nods and kisses your cheek gently, then goes to help Steve with the bandages and antiseptic cream.
Gingerly you lift up your shirt and wince, it's soaked in blood which makes you feel nauseated. Eddie gently cleans the blood away as Steve cuts the bandages.
"Shit, these bastards got you good princess" he whispers worriedly. His nickname makes you ache.
"Don't call me that Ed's. Stacy, she doesn't like it" you whisper and he freezes.
"You're my best friend" he murmurs and the tension in the air deepens.
"Another thing she doesn't like Eddie. Maybe you're right and I should find someone. Would stop all this drama with Stacy" Eddie swallows and Steve steps forward.
"Munson, can you get more bandages incase these get bloodied up quickly" Eddie nods and hurries away.
The tension disappears, Steve gives you a sympathetic smile. Yeah, you were sick of the drama with all of this.
Steve gently patches you up and you feel yourself calm down for the first time tonight as you watch him work.
"Let me do yours, just take your shirt off and I'll help" he looks hesitant but nods and slips off his shirt.
You might have complicated feelings for Eddie but that didn't stop you from admiring Steve, he was handsome and now he was here in your house half naked. Georgia would have a field day if she knew about this.
When did he get so hairy? The thought pops into your head unbidden and it flusters you so much that you almost drop the antiseptic cream.
The bites draw you in again, a fresh one from tonight but also old ones. Bites that have left scars, marks from the bats tails that haven't faded.
You reach out to touch one gently, Steve watches you intently, there's a lot of tension in the air and the fact you could have died has you feeling rattled and in need of comfort.
Steve must be feeling the same thing as he dips his head down and his lips hover over yours.
He hesitates then his lips meet yours before he pulls away again. "Shit, I'm sorry. Shouldn't have done that" he mutters.
"It's okay. It was nice and kinda freeing not to think of Eddie every five minutes" he softens and you patch up the rest of him.
"Tell me about it. Felt the exact same with Nancy, it's better now but I still haven't found the right girl I want to be with, who isn't after me for just sex" you peer up at Steve, eager to say something comforting.
"You're awesome Steve, a badass monster fighter to boot. You'll find someone amazing"
Steve smiles and kisses your cheek, lingering just for a moment.
"Thank you sweetheart"
The door slams shut and you jump apart as Eddie comes in. He looks between the two of you with a blank expression on his face, eyes trailing to Steve who is shirtless and then your flustered look.
"Am I interrupting something here or..." Steve barely looks flustered as he shrugs on his shirt.
"Thanks for helping me patch up honey, call me if you need anything okay?" he smiles and squeezes your hand.
He leaves and your filled with a rush of jumbled feelings.
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Could be an Eddie or Steve story :) Your choice.
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