#these supposed people have got to be on twitter or something cause they aren’t on tumblr

[coochiebandanna]

Are the hoards of loumand shippers who think that Armand did nothing wrong and are gonna have a “rude awakening” in season 2 in the room with us right now?

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

Part 1

Forever 

Sorry this took so long, Forever. This is a pro-Forever post so be quiet.

Not to be parasocial or anything… but…

So it seems that cancellation always wins. No matter what you have done, how bad it is or if it was even real. In Forever's situation, it was real, but the internet in pure predictable internet fashion hyped it up way more than it needed to be. From what we have honestly gathered from Forever predicament, is that he had tweets long ago that were involved primarily with a group of friends. Those tweets were disturbing and gross in nature and were directed at young girl(s) allegedly around the age of 14 to 16. There was an obvious upset from a third party who called him out on it and he apologized/resolved the situation 7 to 8 years ago. 

So! We know that this was resolved 7 to 8 years ago. We know the girl(s) involved do not want to get involved and do not see themselves as victim(s). Because if they did and didn’t get justice for it 7 to 8 years ago, they would have seen this blow up or have heard about it from those who reached out in concern and have taken advantage of the social media mob that was going after him. Either take advantage in getting their justice that they must have always desired and for some reason never got or to perhaps get it widely known enough to tear him down in some sort of way or perhaps sue/get him arrested. And they could get him arrested if they wanted to. If the age of consent in Brazil is 14, then they could always get him on some other charges. It’s not that hard. There are always loopholes. 

But they didn’t. They didn’t go after him, making me quickly realize that they do not see themselves as victims. They were not hurt in this situation and they would at least be in their early twenties by now and be able to realize with more life experience and awareness if they were hurt by something in their youth. Maybe they didn’t feel hurt at age 14, but in their early twenties they should be able to recognize if that situation was traumatic for them. But they haven’t said it was. It wasn’t traumatic. They don’t see themselves as victims so they aren’t. Even in their twenties they do not see that time in their life as something that was dangerous for them. And they don’t want to be involved and they don’t hate Forever. 

I saw the response from one of the girls. The main girl it would appear. And would also appear that twitter has twisted her words in an uncreative way. What I understood is that when she said she got to know Forever closer than the other Minecraft youtubers and that they went ‘out’, meant that they went out to hang out, because earlier in her statement, she said that. That she ‘hung out’ with Forever. Then later said she ‘went out’ further on in the statement. From what I could gather, this ‘went out’ or ‘hanging out’ were of the fan meet and greets. She said she had family members and adults with her every time, telling us that she had adult supervision, like most teenagers would have when meeting an adult creator that they admire. She also gave the years of when she met him and to me this wouldn’t make sense if these were time periods when they were dating or hooking up. If it was one day or so every few years, then how does that even work if it’s dating or hooking up? Why wouldn’t she say that she met up with him for extended periods of time and not just a day or so out of a certain number of years? She also said she had more ‘proof’ of these claims, to me meaning that she had evidence of the exact dates and places but probably didn’t want to dox herself or something cause this is the internet she is addressing. 

Also, also, if she meant that they were dating, why wouldn’t she just say that? That they ‘dated’, instead of ‘went out’ or ‘hung out.’ Some people who claim to be Portuguese said that the way she said it was supposed to be interpreted as intimate, but right now I am definitely taking everything every social media user says with a grain of salt. Especially since I have already encountered a few people who have claimed some very contradicting things which I will explain later. And I doubt since she didn’t want to be involved in the first place that she won’t reiterate what she meant since I understand her hesitation in making any statements on Twitter or other social media platforms. She may never clear up what she said, but she doesn’t have to and I don’t expect that of her. From what I could understand of what she stated, this is what she meant. That they were really just friends.

She is obviously not a professional and some of her words were left to interpretation. Making them vague and a tad unclear, but like I said, she’s not a professional. She won’t say things perfectly nor has a PR team to help her correct things. And if people go after her too for whatever reason, she doesn’t owe an explanation or an apology for anything or anybody. She didn’t even have to make a statement. In fact, demanding an apology on a victimless act seems all too entitled. And the idea of apology videos for something that has already been resolved is stupid.

And lastly, she asked not to attack Forever or others involved. And if she has resentment towards him, that would be a rather counter intuitive move. Cause she obviously appears to be a person who doesn’t want to be involved at all and if she wanted to be the victim, she could be. Hell, I would usually if not always side with the female victim if there was one. But she doesn’t see herself in that role so in turn I will not see her as a victim. 

From what I could deduct about her announcement, she clearly seems to hold no ill will to Forever except for when he displayed a few texts in his video that they exchanged that looked to me like ‘greetings’ and ‘meet ups.’ They were pretty casual and yes, the man probably should have had gotten her permission on those first, but it’s not like they were nudes or sexting. Which is what I feared. They were simple conversation starters. But I understand her displeasure in them being put online, just out of the sheer anxiety she must be receiving with this sea of anonymous twitter freaks hounding her for information. So I get her hesitation about the messages, even if it was a smaller thing then I feared. And yes, Forever should have gotten her permission to post them if he hadn’t.

Though at this point, it doesn’t matter what Forever does because the internet already views him with rage-colored glasses. And it is difficult to shake that off. He could save a hundred orphans from a burning building tomorrow and the internet will find a way to view him negatively since they strictly see him in this light.

But going back to the girl, she clearly does not see herself as a victim. Meaning, that the 'lovely' internet has gone ahead and categorized the girls into the victim position even though the ‘victims’ themselves would disagree with that stance. And then the internet has so graciously put Forever in the 'abuser/groomer/bad guy' position even though there are technically no victims to speak of. There were girls but no victims. The girls say they weren’t victims, so why don’t we believe them? I swear, give it a week and the internet will cancel the girls next for their stances and beliefs on this, holy shit the irony.

And again, I reaffirm, she is at the age to publicly tear him apart if she wants to. She should be able to understand the full weight of the situation, yet she chooses not to cancel him and asks to please not attack him or others. And that she didn’t want their past to upend his career. It sounds stereotypical but also genuine. So I shall believe her when she says nothing happened between them. I believe both her and Forever when they say this. 

Her and Forever were once and now at the same age, where a third party brought their attention to this situation, and both have agreed that this moment in their lives is not what the internet is making it out to be. That they we’re not in a pedo scenario.

But it was just too easy to put him in the pedo position. Him being a man and all. It was quite simple. And it was so easy to spark up the social media mob with key words like pedo, racist, transphobe, Nazi, blah blah blah. The internet likes to pick one if not usually all of those words when they are trying to cancel someone. And it appears, every time, that they are successful. No matter who the person is or what they have done. It is for the most part easy to cancel someone. 

Everyone showed that twitter anti who leaked the tweets how easy it was. How easy it was to get someone you don’t like offline. And everyone was so focused on what the tweets had to say, that they didn’t question the twitter user’s intentions. Most would say they did it to uncover a pedophile and to give justice to the victims by allowing awareness of the pedo's crimes so everyone will know who he truly is and that he was secretly a bad guy all along! But the fun contradictions that takes that all apart, is that there aren’t any victims. None came up and clearly said they were the victim. 

There was no justice. So no one was helped in this situation. These tweets didn’t help anyone and just hurt everyone involved. Everyone is saying that these tweets hurt them, that what Forever did hurt them. And that’s where I draw the line in the sand cause no, Forever didn’t hurt anyone. He didn’t hurt you or me or those girls. He said stupid shit in his early twenties that yeah if I had known him personally back then, I would have shattered his teeth in for being such a dumbass or ghosted his ass, but in the end, he didn’t hurt anyone. It was this random twitter user who hurt everyone. They exposed all of this that was resolved several years ago and hurt everyone by doing so. Forever, the girls who didn’t want to be exposed in any sense of the word or involved, the QSMP, you, and me.

So that leads me to ask why they did it? What were their actual intentions? No one seemed to really be asking this in the past couple of weeks. Why did they up-earth this information? Why post it now at the height of Forever's popularity when everyone online was saying how much they loved him and how he is the heart of the server and were begging for him to come back to the QSMP? Why did this anti go straight to social media instead of doing the right thing and reach out to those girls first and ask if they were ok and if they wanted this to happen? If they wanted this information to be leaked? But no, they selfishly went on twitter first and posted the leaked tweets. Not caring or considering how that would affect anyone or anything and just wanting to cause pain. And the internet gave them exactly what they wanted. They kicked Forever off the QSMP, got him labeled as a pedo, and hurt everybody. Which is honestly such bullshit.

When I saw what was happening, my first reaction to most bullshit isn’t sadness or grief, but anger. I was pissed when I saw the internet trying to cancel Forever. For multiple reasons. First and foremost because I thought it was so hypocritical that people were singing his praise and begging for him to return to the QSMP not hours prior, and then the second that stuff got leaked, everyone and I mean EVERYONE went like "oh it’s time to cancel Forever o clock." "I never liked him anyways" "he betrayed us!" "How could he do something so awful?" Which was honestly the fastest 180 I have ever seen in my whole life. They didn’t even question if these tweets were real and maybe they were generated by ai or photoshopped. They were so ready to cancel Forever before he even made his first vod addressing it. The internet left no breathing room.

And even when he made his first vod hours after, it was too late. It didn’t matter what he said or how he said it, he could have done anything at all, the internet already labeled him as guilty. They slammed his neck on the social media guillotine. I believe he could have done the most proper apology video known to man and it wouldn’t have mattered. He could have been calm, cool and collected as he professionally addressed the situation, but that wouldn’t have mattered either. He could have had actual physical evidence showing that he is not in fact a pedophile straight away and guess what? It-Wouldn’t-Have-Mattered! There were those who sparked this drama on purpose and were lying in wait for his video response to drop so they could angle it with him being the bad guy in some way.

The internet was ready to take him apart and choke him out. Mere minutes after the tweets were posted. And I agree, his vod addressing things was a bit hotheaded, but haven’t you all watched this guy for the past few months? He is hotheaded. And frankly, I would be pissed too if some rando online unearthed part of my life that I grew out of. Like- he is obviously not that guy anymore. He isn’t an incel weirdo, and I’m going to say it again and again: He is not a pedophile.

I mean, I hope Forever actually finds this guy and sues his ass. If not for himself then for other creators. It was said that this jerk was also targeting Pac and other members of the QSMP, so like- who wants this asshole around? He isn’t some whistleblower or anything, he was some anti who hated Forever and wanted him gone, and got what he wished for. And you know what? Just like how those girls could have sued or charged Forever through loopholes, ten bucks says Forever could do the same with this guy. Which go for it, my dude. That anti is going to go after someone else one day. Possibly more QSMP members. They could go after Phil or Quackity himself, posting something real or fake to get them canceled. If Forever wants to be the one who bites back, I encourage him to do so. Cause I wanna bite back. Let me at em. Let me at em.

But also, I must say I was disturbed by the internet's readiness to cancel someone so quickly. How gung-ho they were to dogpile him. And I do theorize many of these dog pilers were Forever antis who could have been in the know to fan the flames of this cancellation the moment these tweets were leaked. But that's just a theory I can’t prove. Though what also bothered me was how so many just stayed quiet. I assume in the fear of being labeled as a pedophile supporter. Afraid to say anything against the crowd less they are accused and labeled as a fellow pedophile or an idiot. But I couldn't care less. Feel free. Cancel me. I don’t have much to lose, nor could I care if you tried. I don’t have much going on anyway, so good luck. 

But yes, I know there are those who agree with me, not everyone thinks Forever is a pedo. So Forever if you see this, know that there are those who see through this antis’ intentions/charade and will still gladly support you and your endeavors, some are just not so bold enough to speak up about it, but I am cause I'm rabid and pissed. I won't go on twitter too much because that place is a minefield and I think sustaining an argument on there is too hard and not worth it cause you have to post your argument bit by bit and I’m a working adult so I don’t have time for that. Nor will I pay premium anything. I give my money to no one. 

But I have been speaking up on other platforms and my intention why? …Well, it’s because firstly this is dumb, and secondly this is wrong, and thirdly I had the worst year of my life in 2023. The people I thought I could trust turned out to be very bad people and whoopee, I got deported. It’s a long story but I will save you the details. But just so you know, the reason I will defend you with all my blood, sweat, and tears is because the QSMP was one of the few things that lightened up my day. And you were my favorite part of the QSMP and I think nobody did it like you.

You did such fascinating lore and you and your character were so interesting, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. Your avatar was so fun to draw and I'm not going to stop drawing your character because of this. You are haha funny Brazilian man, but you are also so much more than that. You are smart and creative. You have genuine heart when taking care of your friends and the eggs. And I hope you find happiness after this turmoil. I hope you can pick yourself back up again after this cancellation because you deserve way more than what these so called 'fans' have given you. 

You have obviously grown into a fine respectable man ever since you posted those nasty tweets from several years ago and I am proud to see that you have changed. Not many people ever change and it is nice to see that you have done so for the better. That you recognized your mistakes, apologized all those years ago then improved yourself. I think that’s very commendable and not many are willing to put in the effort. It’s just a shame that the internet won’t let you change and grow up. Once something happens, they forever cement that into your personality when you are obviously so much more than your past faults. You are not that person anymore! But even though I have known you for only a short while, I can see that you are a good person with a good heart and if others can’t see that then so be it.

And since you have heart, well... I don’t know if I should say this next part, but I will so sorry if it’s true. But I think you warned your friends to unfollow you, didn't you? Or at least, there was a mutual discussion and agreement. So they wouldn't get caught in the crosshairs. And you told Quackity to remove you so the QSMP wouldn’t suffer. Or you both agreed that your removal was for the best. I at least theorize that’s what you did. I don’t know how well the other QSMP members have taken your tweets, I assume some are as mad at you as those twitter users, but I think statistically not all of them hate you. I have no way of proving it, but the only way I can tell is that yes, they quietly banned and unfollowed you. Yes, they removed you from QSMP but they haven’t made any videos going like "I hate Forever and this is why." It could be some sort of contractual thing on why they aren’t openly addressing their supposed disgust, but I sincerely think this is the case. And I don’t want your friends to be targeted too in case it is, but if it is I think it’s a bit of a shame. That if they actually disagree with the masses they won’t speak up and let you take the fall. Even if it’s per your request, it still seems awful and personally makes me sick. That everyone is just allowing for you to be labelled as a pedo. I mean- your girlfriend and family are being harassed and those female fans are being bothered. I just can’t fully see why the QSMP members would stay still at such disgusting behavior from the masses, especially if they disagree otherwise. I think it’s unfair and goes against everything that the QSMP represents. It’s supposed to represent people coming together and community, isn’t it? Right? Well what a lonesome community it has become. 

Forever, this part of the message isn’t more so for you but for Quackity and co. Questioning if what I theorize is true, you are really going to let your friend take the fall for your server, reputation, and money? 

Frankly, ouch.

But I get it. If this is Forever protecting everything you guys built together then I understand. Especially since it seemed more than just a cancellation on Forever and more like an attempted mass cancellation on the entire QSMP server and all of its members. Because just think, everyone. If they accepted Forever back into the fold and even made an argument saying everything I said or more, the internet would still tear them apart. Everything they worked for could possibly go down the drain, OR so QSMP and co may fear it would. I know there are others who have seen through the antis’ intentions, recognizing who Forever is as a person, and understood the QSMP's decision with removing him. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is entirely unfair, will hinder the QSMP because Imma be real, after taking everything that I already said into consideration and just looking at this now as a technical aspect of what makes up the QSMP, Forever was the one bringing up the best lore. 

And I mean it. The eggs are cute and wholesome, and many creators have made some interesting lore with the shipping and plot, but Forever’s was just so compelling. Brunim and Philza, Ninho, the Presidency, the Happy Pill Arc, the Nether, the Infection, Eve. It was all so riveting that I was on the edge of my seat! I will claim without a shadow of a doubt that my man made the best content and I will stay firm on that judgment. And personally I think the QSMP will become lacking without his presence. And just the fact that they might have let him go over something that is wrong and they might have secretly disagreed with it if they weren’t so susceptible to the loud majority’s favor… ugh, it just stings.

Just knowing that my guy has grown and is kind and funny and that incel punk is not who he is anymore, yet he is still dragged by the past and accused of one of the worst things ever! With no ‘victims’ backing up that accusation! Is just plain fucking revolting!

AND lastly, letting go of Forever doesn’t stop the QSMP from being cancelled in the future. You all have just bought yourself more time until the inevitable. At this very moment, it would appear that a wave of different types of hate and negativity has washed over the QSMP, targeting tons of different members in different ways. None so impactful as Forever’s cancellation, but it could get that bad for others.

It has already been proven that there are people out there who will go through great lengths to get rid of one of the best members on your team. So they will individually attack every single member no matter who they are, bringing up past dirt or making something up. And then more successful cancellations will ensue. It doesn’t matter who it is, it could be Wilbur who was on tour all year, he will be an easy target cause he's a musician and attractive so it will be simple to accuse him of having relations with any number of female fans. Etoiles has been cancelled once already so he could easily be targeted again. They can even go after Quackity saying he met with a younger girl than Forever did, because woohoo the big outrage was that at least one of the fans was 14 years old and that is also the age of consent in Brazil. Meaning if he was a pedophile, he could get away with hooking up with this female fan since it would have been legal. And everyone online would be justifiably cancelling him for the ick factor alone. Cause I will speak on everyone’s behalf that is twisted and gross, Brazil. But guess what? Come on, guess? Guess what the age of consent is in Mexico?  ~12~ So look out, Quackity. Because these cancellers will cancel you whether anything is real or not and so many will jump on that bandwagon alongside side them. So please. Do look out for yourself.

But what I am saying that it is so easy to unfairly cancel someone on social media. Any one of the QSMP members will be next and if more and more of you drop because of it or have to be removed because of it, then there will be no more QSMP members left. No more QSMP community. No one left to defend each other because everyone was busy defending themselves to 'protect' their friends from being dragged down with them. Even if you lose some viewership or a lot, you should stick together. Because that’s what the QSMP is all about. And you are a lot stronger in numbers than you are alone. You will get labeled as the pedo server or whatever by assholes, but at least you didn’t discard your friends over twitter masses that just frankly don’t matter.

Also, fyi, I think it’s statistically improbable for everyone on the QSMP to be creeps. Maybe one or two is believable. But everyone is a racist, transphobe, pedo, blah blah blah whatever? I press X to doubt. And even now. Even with the one being so strongly accused, I still don’t believe Forever is Pedo Monster. Not at all. Especially with everything I have pointed out today.

And speaking of the masses, I believe some of you think this and deep down some of you agree that what I have said is all true. Even if you feel hurt by it, I think you can sense that this was all too convenient and was very malicious from the start. And honestly, now that these trolls have been given a foot to stand on and power, things will most likely just get worse. Or maybe not, who knows! But I’m saying it’s highly likely.

Though to scold some of you who have been making contradictory statements, I read the tweet Forever liked and made a whole essay about it! If you really read it, he wasn’t liking it because the thread maker said that "young girls are mature for their age” so that means pedophile is okay. That’s not what they meant at all! In fact, that statement was completely taken out of context. The thread maker said there are studies arguing with that statement "young girls are mature for their age" and then the thread maker immediately noted "But that’s a damaging mindset." They did not agree with pedophilia and was taking a more calculative approach about why this situation was happening. And that’s why Forever liked it. Not because both him and the thread maker believed dating 14-year-old girls was ok. He's not that stupid. Just stupid people took it out of context to fan the flames and people took what they said at face value without reading the thread.

Here is the English version of said post that I translated with google translate-https://lovethatmakingcoffee.tumblr.com/post/739870595768090624/lumilla-lopes-ludylops-post-about-forever-in

And here is my deduction of said post if any of you have difficulty reading- https://lovethatmakingcoffee.tumblr.com/post/739017633425473536/and-then-she-said-that-type-of-mentality-hurts#notes

So to highlight this long-winded post, no I don’t think Forever is a pedophile, I don’t think there is a victim, and I do think that anti twitter user needs to face me in the front of an Arby’s so I can show them fist one and fist two.

I will not respond to any of the replies that will come from this post because I follow the number one rule of the internet and that is "To not feed the trolls".

And yes, if you do annoy me, I will block you. I could care less.

I will never delete any of my art that I made of Forever and have saved as much lore from with wiki as I could in case QSMP just wants to get rid of it one day. I also have seen lots of people get rid of or censor their Forever art, so like a panicking Greek fleeing from the burning Library of Alexandria, I am saving as much art as I can and keeping them on my phone. I don't know what I am going to do with it, but it won't be lost to deletion or censorship.

I won’t really be able to follow you, Forever, because I don’t speak Portuguese. But I hope wherever you venture to will be fun and you will be happy, you haha funny Brazilian man.

(I don’t think there was any other way I could have written this where I probably won’t get hate. This was long and took many days to write, and I CERTAINLY don’t have a PR team looking this over, so like Forever, no matter how perfect I respond, some troll will bite at my fingers. So yep.)

[f0point5]

Some of the takes I’m seeing from people about drivers commenting on the ongoing Christian Horner allegations are just shocking to me. When you become an F1 driver that role includes doing media and speaking on the sport as a whole, not just driving around. They can say as much as they want that they’re just here to drive but that’s not accurate. Every job comes with parts that you want to do and parts you don’t, and when you are at the height of the motorsports industry and a huge controversy happens, I believe you have a duty to speak on the matter. That’s why the drivers have to do media and press etc

You can’t do silly games on YouTube and grill the grid and then choose to not to speak when something happens that reflects badly on the sport. All jobs have a good and bad, it feels like they are picking and choosing which is ****. It’s a bad reflection on the driver as an individual and a bad reflection on their team and at the end of the day the drivers are there as part of a branded team which comes with a certain amount of responsibility whether they like it or not.

I know a lot of people won’t agree with this take but it’s how I feel, and I feel it so passionately to my core and it makes me so sad that some drivers aren’t educating themselves on the issue, not even to small degree. Like just no effort or empathy.

Just overall this whole situation makes me very sad 😔

(To the above point, anyone within Redbull who isn’t saying anything I understand more because there are clauses in contracts that stop you speaking about your own brand in situations like this)

Well, if you follow me, you must know I disagree with this take completely. But everyone’s got their own feelings.

I don’t think you’re ever obligated to speak on anything that doesn’t directly concern you. Yes, media for F1 is part of their job, but the media duties are ancillary activities to promote the racing, not to comment on the cause of the week, or drama surrounding teams that they don’t work for. This issue “reflecting badly” on the sport is not something they caused nor is it something they can fix. What are they supposed to say? Do we really want to hear their opinions? Are we ready to hear them speak if they don’t agree with the Twitter mob or are they only obliged to speak if they say what people want them to say? Where is the line?

Them playing grill the grid is promoting the racing, the grid, etc., it’s not them sharing their thoughts on something that they have no clue about in the first place. The two things aren’t the same.

What is a bad look for them and their team would be to express an opinion on something they aren’t informed about, namely an investigation that is OVER. Horner is fundamentally innocent in the eyes of Red Bull. To speak contrary to that is to invite accusations of slander. Alex Albon can’t unilaterally decide what is and isn’t harassment.

We have no idea what they know, or what they think, or the education or conversation they have in private and in my opinion that’s how it should stay.

But again, everyone’s got their own feelings on it. I think people are really setting themselves up for disappointment expecting the drivers to be baying for Christian’s head but if it gives you peace, that’s fair enough.

[twilightmalachite]

Altered - Heaven and Hell 14

Author: Akira

Characters: Natsume, Eichi

Translator: Mika Enstars

"I have to beat you to the punch every time you come at me. Seeing you crawl up to my feet makes me feel like I’m dealing with the ugly and stupid self I used to be."

Season: Winter

Location: Sidewalk In Front of the ES Building Underground Stage

⚠️ This is an import from a unproofed Twitter Livetweet!

Present day, on the second day of OO. Sidewalk in front of the ES Building Underground Stage, OO Venue 1

Natsume: Tenshouin Eichi.

…-senpai. Can I talk with you a momeNT?

Eichi: Fufu. You changed your attitude because there are people around. You know how to be smart when you need to be; as you’ve always been.

However, there’s no need to use honorifics without respect. Your sarcasm outweighs it.

Natsume: Of course I’m being sarcastic about iT.

Or do you think you have a reason to be respected by mE?

Eichi: Of course, I believe I do, actually. We are similar to each other.

And so, we judge by the same rules. And following that method of judgment, how different are we?

I am superior to you. I am the embodiment of your ideals; a top-notch conspirator and idol. Much like me, you are the kind of person who wants everything to dance in the palm of your hand.

And so, you cannot help but envy me. Just looking at me gives you a sense of inferiority.

But as I have hurt your beloved big brothers in the past, you always look at me in a way that is filled with murderous intent.

That’s good of you. I genuinely like that part of you.

I have to beat you to the punch every time you come at me. Seeing you crawl up to my feet makes me feel like I’m dealing with the ugly and stupid self I used to be.

It feels great.

So, I suppose I should be thanking you, Sakasaki-kun.

I’m glad that you’re alive.

Natsume: You are really the absoluTE, utter worST.

You’re just trying to provoke me in such an overt way that will make me refuse to talk to yoU, thouGH. Because I want to talk to you about something you don’t want me to talk aboUT.

Eichi: Oh, I guess you’ve also grown up a little bit.

If it had been back during the war, you would have already turned red in the face and left, or have thrown something at me.

Natsume: Just what do you know about mE?

Eichi: I don’t need to know you to understand. As I said, you and I are very similar.

Fufu, oh how I wish I could continue our idle banter like this, but unfortunately, I am quite busy with my own business.

I cannot concern myself with you forever. If you have something you need, then I would appreciate it if you’d hurry and get it over with.

Why is it you’re here to see me on a day like this?

Just so you know, after us Ring.A.Bell got bored on day one, today, on day two, we each will be competing under the name of another temporary unit.

Keito in DEADMANZ, Tsukinaga-kun in Knight Killers, so on and so forth.

Natsume: Aren’t you also a member of Knight Killers?

Eichi: Yup. Tsukinaga-kun innocently asked me if I wanted to participate. I’m not feeling well, however, so I had to give it a pass.

But this time around Knight Killers appears to have some newcomers from Knights participating, so it’s become quite a big group—

So well, they have enough in numbers, so they’ll be able to join even if I’m not there.

In this age without conflict, the knights, the experts in the art of warfare, have nowhere to go.

Having been released into the wild, the men all joined together, swelling into a mercenary group called the Knight Killers.

It’s quite an interesting situation, isn’t it? Seems to me this phenomenon will persist even after OO.

Natsume: Here you are casually avoiding the topic agaIN. I can’t get through to yOU.

I can’t play games with you forevER. You’re looking rather paLE, it’d be troublesome if you ended up dying because I kept you talking for too loNG.

So, I’ll lay down my trump card heRE.

This mysterious unit known as “Altered” causing a stir around OO are actually former members of fine.

The nameless angeLS, the ignored and forgotten existences who never were able to show themselvES.

Eichi: Correct. You’re well-informed.

Natsume: Altered is a rumored existence that originates from the internet.

As the head of SSVRS, I have easy access to anything related to the internet.

The internet is my territoRY. So if anythiNG, I feel it was a trap laid out for mE, someone whose forte is scouring the nET, rather than being an overt way to disseminate informatiON.

Eichi: Also correct. Amazing, you’re so smart, Sakasaki-kun. Good boy, good boy. ♪

Natsume: … …

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[tsunamicries]

Read after your exam.

Hey future self,

Let me guess you feel dumb right? It’s the consequence of what you have done for the past months. You procrastinated and refused to study. You prioritised earning money to show off to people on the internet and impulsively buy stuff that won’t benefit you in any way in the end. You believed in your delusions that you are very smart and that you can do things even without having to exert effort. And now, you probably got smacked hard in the face, right?

Believe me your past self understood that — but only a few days before the N.MAT.

Now you wonder why did I even think about taking the N.MAT on November? Well, you weren’t really in the right head space by August, and by September you were too distracted with your kpop boys. By October, I honestly don’t know why you didn’t even bother cramming…

But let me get this straight… you didn’t even check the deadlines of medschool applications. I know you aren’t aiming to be in U.P.CM, U.S..T, A...teneo, or other medschools where most people apply for but that doesn’t mean that what you have done is right. This is something that your future self should remember — it’s not bad to follow other people’s steps. It would help you a lot.

You shouldn’t get too caught up with your Kpop bubble to the point that you are unable to keep track of your own life. You shouldn’t spend so much money on Kpop boys instead of building your closet and even investing in improving your mental health. I thought we agreed that that was supposed to be something that you’ll be focusing this gap year?

I hope that this doesn’t happen the next months.

Please… for the love of your dreams and the money of your parents — STUDY!

For N.MAT, do practice tests and rationalize them. You find it difficult to just concentrate reading transes that don’t even make sense. You can use youtube if you want to.

I know that you want to and will beat yourself up for these consequences, but I promise you that won’t do you any good. You will only waste mental energy and your time! You don’t have to put yourself down even more. You just have to know that whatever results you’ll receive by the end of November, you probably deserve that. After all remember what our motto is? You reap what you sow.

I know that this was meant for future self to do, but while instead of studying I feel like I completely given up on the fact that I will get a good PR score especially I am a firm believer of efforts. But now harm in writing down what I think can help you right? And maybe elevate some tension because I am quite paralyzed by my helplessness..

To be completely honest, I don’t blame you that you were sucked in in stan community — not when you finally have friends you regularly converse with and you were so sad in August. It was difficult time I know, but you don’t have to keep beating yourself up. What matters is not what you think, but what you do.  You also found happiness in having something to do that you weren’t really able to do when you were younger. That’s something that is always at the back of our head and I have to let that out here — immortalized in this notes, on this screen that our future self (no matter how far this can reach) will be able to read and be reminded because sometimes we have the tendency to repress so much emotions and rationalize them so eloquently to the point that we have gaslighted ourselves.

It’s okay, you can’t correct mistakes from the past. At least you had fun right! Don’t worry about it, as long as you learn from your mistakes then life will not fall apart. Pat yourself on the back and say that you got this! That things will still turn out good because you were able to do it before and you can do it again!

But here are the things that I realized after reflecting:

I. You should really reduce the time you spend on stan twitter AND YES, EVEN A.O3. This is the root cause of everything. You lose sleep because of it and instead of doing your work, you oftentimes focus more on being there in that community to the point that your work piles up and you just log in for the sake of it.

II. please clean your computer. I know it will be difficult for you but do it. Organize your desktop. Reestablish your reset routine. You have been trying to work nonstop and look where that got us? Inefficiency and we just ended up getting more lazy. Because you don’t allot time for these things, they are hunting you. Remember that it is literally written in the stars that you are an ORGANIZED person. You are a cardinal sign, you are an INTJ, you are someone that thrives in organized and structured environments. So please clean your laptop and clean everything that you can so you don’t have to do it when you have to study.

Clean your downloads

Clean your desktop area (literally the folders)

Clean your screenshots

Clean your goodnotes

Make separate users for personal life — it’s gonna be difficult to move work to another user so just move your personal life to a different user

Clean your phone and back up images

Clean N.MAT Files -- delete everything on your mac and just keep the mock exams first. after you catch up for b.lepp, just rationalize the cem mock exams. try to just answer them from the screen to train yourself. focus on learnfast’s materials too.

III. Remember to have a day off! You can’t keep pushing yourself to function 24/7. We make this mistake over and over AND OVER AGAIN! So please, let’s learn from it. I know you want to be able to maximize yourself, but this just really doesn’t work. Keep yourself from unnecessary early burnout and so that you will have time for hobbies as well. REMEMBER: WHAT YOU DO NOT MAKE TIME FOR WILL DEFINITELY BE SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL DO DURING A DIFFERENT SCHEDULE. Might as well schedule them so you don’t have to do it during a time where you are supposed to focus and really study.

IV. instead of motivating yourself with how much time you have left motivate yourself by remembering the consequences of your actions. Before you do something make sure to write a WHY first because it will all come down to that. Believe me, we, your past selves, have been there and we want future you to not commit the same mistakes again. Example, you need to talk to your parents about medschools that you will apply to. This can really intimidate you but if you won’t do it then you won’t be able to finalize your next course of actions. Future us who will be thinking about spending the holidays in the province and loathing us for enrolling in a review center, our past self has caused this and we must make sacrifices that will make sure that we will be working towards our goals and we will be showing up as someone who’s deserving to achieve that goal and showing up as someone who’s going to be and is capable of reaching those goals.

V. Remember that you have to FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR SCHEDULE. GIVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION TO YOUR TASK. STOP MULTITASKING. If you really want to have enough time for other things then you have to follow your schedule. Be disciplined and engage in deep focus when you study. Schedules will only get you somewhere IF YOU FOLLOW THEM AND EXECUTE THEM. Your plans shouldn’t remain as plans BUT should be executed so you won’t have any regrets.

VI. Failing to plan is PLANNING TO FAIL. We know this, and please I know it takes so much time to plan things and organize the knowledge you are supposed to learn but please this will help you along the way anyway. This will help you ease your anxiety and will also help you to know that YOU HAVE TIME!!!! for the things that you want to accomplish. And please make sure that you will include timeblocking your day in your morning routine. This is how we were able to push through the hardest year in college and how we were able to juggle it with a very demanding organization.  I know that timeblocking your day can be triggering you with junior highschool memories, but you have to move past that. Timeblocking will help you. Timeblocking is your friend. Timeblocking is not your enemy. Timeblocking gives you time for everything that you want to do — yes, that includes reading your fanfics.

Include in your schedule 3-4 hrs of work

Gym time

Sleep

A.O3 Time

I....lichil Time

ME Time — for exploring hobbies

READING time

VII. You can’t always DIY through everything. It’s okay to admit that you need help. This is one thing that I realized when we were trying to prepare for N.MAT. I tried to DIY myself through it but I needed the refresher from other people. I needed someone to teach me because sometimes I lose control and go too in-depth and eventually stopped following the schedule. This, in turn, makes me lose my motivation and in the end we just gave up… Yes, we were able to adjust from 3-months preparation but we kept readjusting and readjusting. So this is another reminder that it’s okay to have someone help you. It’s okay to spend money on it, because sometimes you end up spending it on unnecessary stuff and/or even still spending it on the same thing anyway. So for your B.LEPP preparation, make sure to catch up with your lectures and READ YOUR BOOKS! Make notes from your books — it’s important that you make from your own because you will be able to consolidate it. Remember that we hate having to open so many stuff. Maybe we can try using notion since it’s easily more customizable now. Or maybe even just make a document on Pages/Word and then export it as a PDF on Goodnotes. CONSIDER purchasing ANKI’s Lifetime access — it’s more expensive now but it’s also a lot cheaper than having to keep repurchasing it annually. But then, make this decision only after your meeting with Cindy. You have to secure first that you still have a job until the end of the year and even possibly next year.

VIII. When you face something overwhelming or when you don’t know what to do — STEP BACK. I know you will be tempted to dive right in to the task but we have proven countless times that this is not effective for us. Assess your situation and make a plan of action that is realistic and sustainable. Don’t be disheartened. When you have a lot of stuff to work on, start on what’s interesting first. If you are studying for B.LEPP, maybe start with ABPSY and/or TOP first, and if you are reviewing for N.MAT you can try answering practice tests and rationalizing them. The simple thing is don’t throw yourself into something without any plan. Anything that you need is in the internet — you just have to research, read, take notes, consolidate, reflect and execute. Easy peasy.

IX. YOU HAVE TO GET PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT. We mean it. If you want to be successful in medschool, this is the best way that you can. After taking the N.MAT, consider whether you should get help from a psychologist first or a psychiatrist. Going to a psychologist first would help you get therapy which is very important for your case. (Source: Trust me YOU are a psych graduate you know there is something different to you). However, it is also important to seek help from a Psychiatrist in case that you need prescriptions. But maybe you can consider first with a psychologist! SEEKING PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT is the main point of our gap year. Remember that. We want to be mentally strong, we want to better, we want to love life and we want to be happy and just feel empty all the time. I NEED YOU TO DO THIS. I need you to allot money and time in seeking help from professionals because this will help you concentrate better, study better, and understand yourself better. No more self-diagnosing okay! Aside from that fact, there are so many things going inside your head sometimes I think you project it on other people — especially to your loved ones. If you have to take medicines, let your parents know. Please please please we have put this off a lot of times and we only regret it time and time again. So please make this your priority as well. Consider downloading headspace as well!

X. TALK TO YOURSELF MORE BY WRITING. It’s hard to reflect on what went wrong with us and evaluate where we are when we don’t even have documents that can help us understand our past self. So yes take it a sign from me (past self) to also write again. I promise you, it will help you in unimaginable ways. Write what have you done. Write your goals for the month. HECK EVEN FOR THE WEEK! This has been proven by our JHS self and I must say we have to regain that habit back — it helped us achieve so muuuuuuch. Reflect and reflect and reflect. It’s in your nature to always want to understand why so just give up trying not to be you and Don’t forget to make a MOODBOARD. Explore pinterest I think it’s a better place for you to get lost into.

XI. You cannot undo your mistakes. That’s already in the past! FORGIVE YOURSELF AND REFLECT.Just get the best out of the present and with what you have. ALWAYS REMEMBER: DO SOMETHING YOUR FUTURE SELF WILL THANK YOU FOR.  Well this is pretty much a game plan on how you will move forward so I hope you don’t let sadness and self-doubt swallow you whole. This also contains on where you can improve and if in anyway you think you still have something you can reflect on then YOU MUST WRITE. Let it out. Let go of unnecessary thoughts so you can make space for the important stuff!

XII. MANIFEST YOUR 2023 LIFE AND WRITE IT. Write it in past tense — be as ambisosya as you can! Be thankful and specify what you want to achieve. DON’T FORGET TO PLAN FOR 2023 AND SET SCHEDULE FOR QUARTER CHECK-INs.

This is it from your past self. We spent a lot of time reflecting and writing these all dow SO I HOPE YOU WON’T PUT IT INTO WASTE!

Please please study well after N.MAT. Let that experience be your wake up call that YOU DO NOT like feeling dumb and that pursuing medicine is YOUR choice and YOU have thought about it. Even after the idea of failing.

Thank you from your past self. We already forgave your past self so please make it appoint to also try to do it.

You got this!

Remember, you reap what you sow. The hardships of today is nothing compared to the glory of tomorrow. And above all, YOUR efforts will pay off.

[doiecstasy]

She’s Confident

She’s Confident (Diluc x Reader)

Summary: Being an Imunlaukr, you were destined to travel and discover many things all around Teyvat. Even if being the lover of the uncrowned king of Mondstadt, who owns the famous winery and tavern inside the nation of freedom, you didn't stop traveling. Now that you're back from your recent travel, you wanted to taunt your boyfriend and probably show him your hidden bold attitude that is only for him to see. 

Warnings: Oral, Teasing, Smut, Breeding, Impreg

Note/s: Minors DNI. I cross-posted this fic on Ao3 so if you also found it in there, don't worry. I need more Diluc fics so I wrote one and decided to share it with y'all Diluc simps. Enjoy! 

Artwork: eriimyon in Twitter

The tension between the new honorary knight and the former cavalry captain in a room full of the Knights of Favonius is palpable. Very. Noticeable. 

Perhaps they all know the history between the two hence no one ever dares speak up. An Imunlaukr from the clan of the grandmaster Varka and the son of Master Crepus Ragnvindr. Who would dare speak in front of them?

Except, of course, the cunning cavalry captain of the Knights of Favonius. Kaeya.

"I think it is better to sit shoulder-to-shoulder rather than facing each other. Isn't it Diluc?"

The redhead hissed, straightened up on his seat, and crossed his arms on his chest, enunciating through his actions that he is not interested in what his brother has said just a moment ago. He simply did not care and continued to stare into your azure orbs. Those blue-like ocean eyes that successfully captured his flaming ones.

Sensing how the other knights exchanged looks as if being able to communicate with just their eyes, you stood up and walked around the room to sit beside the uncrowned king of Mondstadt. 

You looked over your shoulder and saw a surprised-looking knight. He seems new and shy. You could quite see that he was amazed. Mesmerized, even. A beauty like you, coming from the Imunlaukr clan with impressive combat skills and was gifted with a cryo vision matching perfectly to your blue eyes, who would not be captivated by your existence? 

Glancing to your right, you saw how Diluc stilled and stared blankly in front of him, where you once seated. You smirked and looked at Kaeya, urging him to start the meeting he so-called important to the point where it needs the help of the two respected nobles of Mondstadt.

Kaeya didn't hide his smirk as he started briefing all of the people inside the room about the sightings of suspicious members of the Fatui outside the borders of Mondstadt and how the Liyue Qixing also wants to cooperate with this mission since there are also sights near Stone Gate, Liyue. 

You understood how this is an important matter, for the safety of the citizens of Mondstadt is on the line. However, the man beside you once again hissed. 

"Knights of Favonius, always so inefficient. Couldn't even handle matters like this alone." He said while staring directly at the cavalry captain in the center of the room. 

The other knights averted their eyes on Diluc and looked down on their laps, feeling ashamed and guilty, partly because it is quite true. Something inside you was triggered and you directed your look to the redhead which caused him to look back into you. 

"You can always back down, Diluc. You are not in debt to always cooperate in situations like this. After all, you are not part of the Knights of Favonius, aren't you?"

The room was quiet and an amused man was smiling boldly in the center of the room, enjoying the little show in front of him. But before everything reach its climax you stood up and excused yourself for you already know the details of the meeting.

"I'll be off now. If anyone needs something from me, I am just sheathing my claymore" you looked discreetly at Diluc, "at the practice grounds." You turned the knob and left the room with Diluc slightly shaking his head and Kaeya who is ready to irritate his brother more.

---

You saw Diluc leaving the headquarters and surmised that he is heading to Angel's Shares. You shook your head as you still couldn't fathom why the man owns a winery and tends the bar full of booze when he despises alcohol and is deeply in love with grape juice. 

Picking up your claymore, you placed it back on the armory together with the other weapons exclusively for nobles like you and made your way to the tavern. 

Why?

"Because I want to." You answered yourself while painting a smirk on your face. 

While on your way, a hand was placed around your waist making you gasp and hold your tracks in front of little Flora's flower shop. Good thing it was almost dawn and the child is surprisingly not tending her shop at the moment. 

"An Imunlaukr following a Ragnvindr, hm?" He tightens his hold on your waist, your chests now inch apart from each other. "Perhaps you need something from an ex-Knights of Favonius captain, honorary knight." He said staring directly into your orbs. 

If it wasn't for the fact that you were both out in the open, you would gladly melt under his crimson eyes. But you were completely aware of your surroundings. You could feel the stares of a woman just above flora's shop. Quickly glancing in her direction, you saw the horror in her eyes and the way her hands slowly creep on her mouth as if suppressing silent sobs. 

This is interesting.

Being aware that the woman's eyes are still locked in your position, you placed both of your arms around Diluc's neck and gently pulled him down to your height, making him bend slightly. 

"Why don't we continue this inside your tavern, Diluc. I hate having an audience for private matters like this." You saw flames in his eyes like you've ignited something inside him. Moreover, you saw how the woman averted her gaze into you. She heard it. Definitely. 

Diluc removed his arm on your waist and made his way back to his tavern. You hissed. This man never changes. But you followed him nonetheless. 

When you entered the tavern you were surprised that it is empty. Considering the time, it's the hour that the tavern is supposedly packed with customers and bards. As if he has read your thoughts, Diluc answered. "The tavern is closed for today if that's what you're wondering. But I know that you heard it somewhere and to someone that we're closed for today, yet you still made your way here. So I supposed you're not here for the wine." He said while wiping mugs behind the bar.

Walking over to him, you settled on one of the seats in front of him and placed both of your elbows on the bar, plastering a smile on your face.

"I'm here for my welcome back greetings." You said while watching him. "And probably for some, 'I missed you', words as well." You still watched him and saw that he is not bothered by your words, he just continued wiping noticeably clean beer mugs. Placing your hands under your chin to support your face, you said,

"Or a kiss from you, perhaps?"

Sounds of clanking of mugs that fell on the floor were heard inside the tavern and a pair of crimson eyes were darted into your azure ones. He stopped wiping mugs and placed his hands on the edge of the bar to support himself, completely disregarding the scattered mugs on the floor. 

His stares are of those like predators' look on their prey. You're sensing he got something up on his sleeves and you're not someone who backs out easily. Breaking the game of staring, you inched a little closer to him, being careful not to fall on your chair. But you saw him leave his position and slowly made his way around the bar. You followed his movements and your back is now facing his previous spot. 

Diluc is now in front of you, caging you between the bar and his arms. His face is dangerously close to yours. The edge of the bar is digging behind your back, but you did not care and focused on the piece of art standing in front of you. 

"Look who needs something from me, former cavalry captain of the Knights of Favonius. You said it yourself, hm?" He said and you felt shivers run down your spine. 

You smirked. 

"I didn't know that you hold grudges for small things like that, Diluc. I am surprised." You snickered. "After being with you for all these years, it just so happens that I only knew this trait of yours." You placed a hand on his chest.

"Is it because of how I travel? Maybe I'm traveling too much to the point of almost ignoring you." 

You saw the protruding veins in his jaw. He is provoked. You internally praised yourself for making him like this. 

He removed his hand on the edge of the bar and placed it on your waist while his other hand supports his body against yours. You felt him grip your side a little too tight. Maybe you're doing this a little too much for him. But you didn't care. You also like him this way.

"You changed your hair color." He said while burning his gaze into yours. "Why?"

Your previous hair color was dark brown. Your recent travel required you to change it so you colored it to ash gray. It still made you beautiful. More mesmerizing.

"Do you not like it? I could change it back for you." You said while slowly rubbing your hand on his chest.

He looked at your hand for a second and came back into your eyes. "I love it." 

"Now, pick among the three." He said while smirking.

You were confused and he saw it too. "A welcome greeting, an I missed you, or..." He leaned in at your ear, 

"a hot kiss from me."

He backed away from your ear and faced you once again, waiting for your answer. His eyes burning with what you could see and very well know.

Lust.

You didn't break the stare as you said your answer. "The latter."

Diluc leaned in and caught your bottom lip between his. Slightly sucking it before giving you a sloppy yet hot kiss. His hand slipped under your tight shirt, gripping and massaging your waist slightly. Your hands are now around his neck as he ravished your lips. He bit your lip and you moaned as his tongue met yours. "I fucking missed you." He said between your kisses. 

The sound of wet kisses and muffled moans filled the whole tavern. You already started thinking that he did close the tavern on purpose for your arrival, but you were averted from your thoughts as he pressed his bulging erection on your thighs. You giggled between your kisses and one of your hands slowly made its way to cup his erection. 

"Ah, baby," Diluc moaned parting from your lips as you slowly rub his member. Feeling how it begs to be free from his restricting pants. He finds it so hot seeing you rub your hand on his filthy cock. Slipping your hand inside his pants, you grabbed his member and slowly releasing it free from its cage. You felt proud of yourself seeing how you made Diluc all worked up.

You left your seat and situated yourself kneeling in front of his mad erection. All for you. 

You pumped it several times before slowly and teasingly licking his tip already filled with pre-cum. "Ah. Baby, stop teasing." He said while running his hand on your hair. 

You grabbed his balls as you took his cock in your mouth. Taking him and moaning while his cock slides in and out of your mouth. You pumped the remaining parts of his shaft that didn't fit in your mouth and you could sense that he is close to coming. Diluc was panting as you continuously blow him off, guiding your head with his hand. You intentionally ground your teeth on his cock and you felt him squirmed from pleasure. 

"If you keep on doing that I might come right now, baby." He pleads. You continued sucking his cock like a popsicle until he finally came and filled your mouth. "I'm hard again just by seeing you swallow my semen, baby." 

You moaned. "Then I might just suck you off again, hm." You said palming his still erect cock.

Diluc pulled you from the floor and positioned you on top of the bar. Parting your legs and settling his body between your thighs. He slowly palmed your clothed clit. "You're wet down here, hm." 

He stripped you from your bottom garments and only left bare only for him to see and... taste.

Your head fell back and moans left your mouth as he eats you out like a predator. He licks, kisses, and tongue-fucks your pussy. After ravishing your mound with his mouth, Diluc inserted a finger in your opening and slowly pumps it in your hole while he's busy playing with your clit.

"Ah, Diluc... Add another in there, baby. Please." You grabbed his red hair tightly as he added another finger and this time it wasn't slow.

You heard him grunt and it vibrated to your pussy making you moan louder. His other hand snaked around your back to push your hips even more on his face.

"I fucking missed the taste of this pussy too." He said while adding another finger and continue eating your clit. You were shaking from too much pleasure but you didn't mind.

When his fingers found your g-spot, you couldn't hold it in any longer and came right in front of his face.

A moan escaped your mouth as he licked you off clean. You didn't have time to calm down as he grabbed your waist and carried you to one of the tables inside the tavern.

"I can't wait to fuck you, baby. I need you right now." He said while laying down on the hard surface. You didn't mind the discomfort as long as you're with him.

Diluc pumped his cock slowly as he watches you being impatient and desperately wants to be filled.

"Diluc stop teasing me and put it in me already." You said while massaging your breasts. He caught you off-guard when he suddenly slid it in you. Hard.

He pounded you like he never saw you for a year. When in reality, it was only for 2 weeks. Loud moans escaped from your mouth as he continuously hit your spot.

Diluc hoisted your legs up on his shoulders and fucks you deeper. A growl escaping his mouth. "Fuck, you're so tight and hot, baby. Fucking you still feels like the first time. Ah."

He leaned in and gave you sloppy kisses as he fucks the life out of you. "Want me to breed you, baby?" He said between thrusts and kisses. "Make you a Ragnvindr and mark you so no one could have you except me, hm?"

You couldn't form words from the pleasure he's giving you. You could tell that the table you're lying on will be destroyed moments from now. The idea of bearing a child of Diluc in you made you feel so hot and even more turned on.

You ground on him in sync with his thrusts. "Ah, Diluc. Yes!"

You were almost there but he slides out of you and picked you up from the table. You almost snapped from the lack of his cock in your mound, but when he placed you in front of the wall, hoisted your leg on his arm then quickly penetrated your pussy from behind, another set of loud moans escaped your mouth.

He moaned as he felt your hole clenching his cock between his heavy thrusts. Every time he thrusts it out, your pussy pulls it back in.

His other hand crept under you and rubs your clit fast, overstimulating you. "Come for me, baby. Let me fill you with my semen. I'll fucking put a baby in you."

"Ah, yes! Give it to me, baby." You said as you felt your release coming the same time he came inside you. A grunt left Diluc's mouth as his semen floods into you.

He stilled and moaned as you slowly pumped his cock back in your pussy, helping him cream your mound. "Don't want your release to come to waste." You giggled.

Diluc didn't let go of you as he very well knows you'd fall if he does. He situated you in one of the seats that have a cushion so that you'll be more comfortable after an intense fucking inside his tavern.

He grabbed tissues behind the bar and went directly to your position and slowly cleaned off the excess cum on your thighs. He helped you put back your clothes on and did the same to himself.

After a few moments, he just stared at you like you're the only woman in Teyvat. His woman.

"So, how did the ex-Knights of Favonius satisfy the honorary knight, hm?" He asked, crossing his arms on his firm chest.

You looked up to him and a smirk formed on your lips.

"Well, he did great. Very. Great. Perhaps, the other way to get railed like this again is by officially joining the Knights of Favonius." You said with a smirk on your face.

Diluc raised an eyebrow. "I hate the Knights."

You grabbed his arms and made him wrap them around your waist. You carefully stood up from your seat as your mound is still sore and you put a chaste kiss on his lips.

"But I like it when you're mad at me." You placed another kiss on his lips. "You wanna know why, hm?"

Diluc kissed you back as an answer. His tongue seeking entrance in your mouth.

"Because you fuck me harder when you're mad." You said between his kisses.

He guided your hand on his pants and a gasp left your mouth in his kisses when you felt him hard again. He parted his lips from you and whispered in your ears.

"I can't hate you, love. But I can make you suffer in bed later."

You're anticipating that 'later' in bed at home.

End.

[radiosandrecordings]

I would love to try and take a stock of the types of diegesis used in audio fiction and how it’s changed over time. It feels in more recent stuff like it’s fallen out of trend to have an in-universe reasoning for the story like “It’s a radio station you’re listening to” or “It’s old recordings you found!” just because that was such a saturated market towards the start of the AD boom that I feel like if you do that now people are going to presume you’re just trying to ride on the coat tails of one of them now (To the point where Night Vale and King Falls AM crew got in a twitter spat about similar themes). I think another reason it’s often passed over these days is just how much it confines your story, to the point where classic AD’s that had schtick’s for How We’re Hearing This like The Bright Sessions or Wolf 359 just gave up halfway through because it became too much of an inconvenience to justify the diegetic formula while still maintaining a good story and not having to shoehorn recording devices in, and this is something newer ones have learned from. 

Giving an in-universe explanation really shapes your story for that reason if you commit to it. Night Vale always stuck to it to my knowledge in some form or another, wheras TMA made the tapes not just a fun layer of meta but crucial to the plot itself. Wheras you might have Zoo or Jar of Rebuke be tape recordings but the reasoning for them seems to be to justify the narrative style of having the main character sharing their inner thoughts diary-style, which creates engagement that you wouldn’t get if they weren’t airing their thoughts to something rather than just having us observe them living their life. 

This can also play into sound design because if you have A Device That Is Recording, your whole soundscape is gonna be based around that. How close are people standing to it. Do they move closer or further away? Does the recording device itself move? Can you use panning here? Does the recording device itself emit a noise? 

BUT these things do also come into play in something without an in-universe recording device, where often one character will be chosen as the POV and audio will be centred around them. This can be especially cool in something like Juno Steel or Kane & Feels where they lean into the noir genre and have a character monologuing for reasons that aren’t actually explained, you’re just expected to run with the non-naturalism because it allows you an insight into the character’s mindset. This can even involve panning and stuff such as the opening of Kane & Feels episode 2 where one character is monologuing to the listener and the other cuts in, interrupting their train of thought because, and they’ve recorded further away from the mic than the close up of the one monologuing because the character is on the other side of the room from the first, giving a sense of spatial proximity and immersion by letting us experience things how the POV character does. 

Then you have things that sort of straddle the line of diegesis because they won’t have a reason they’re being recorded, but they’ll often have fourth-wall breaking elements like The Silt Verses being primarily read as if it’s a story being told to the listener by the character, even if there isn’t an explanation for this, it just is how the story is structured. It leans into being first person and supplements it with actual scenes scattered between. Or Paired, where it’s never stated but from the fact that we move with the character, and you hear bits of static and glitching when needed you’re lead to assume you’re hearing whatever is picked up by the recording device that is the character, but weirdly that’s never a confirmed thing because despite some scenes that mess with the formula and go for second person adressal to whoever is listening, it’s still a bit unexplained and not directly To An Audience 

But of course these are just my personal insights from the AD’s I’ve consumed so I’d love to map it all out and see what the trends are for these sort of things, if creators give specifics reasonings for why they chose a justification or not. Because it’s not something that’s common in film or TV? At least to the extent of prevalence that it is/was in podcasts, and it’s not even really a holdover from radio dramas so I want to know what caused this surge when it came to podcasting. Was it just a case of looking at what everyone else was doing and copying a trend? Found footage was by no means a new genre when podcasts were starting to get big (Using 2012, Night Vale’s start date for lack of a better timeframe) but it did seem to have an uptick in popularity in 2013 in film according to wikipedia. It seems to be a technique almost always used for horror so the fact that a lot of AD is horror could contribute to it, but I think it might share a reason with why movies started to be made like that around the time, and it’s that it was cheap. It was a low budget way to frame things because it excused other production values. Your camera could be shaky, and your sound could be shoddy, and it was fine because you were supposed to believe it was recorded on a handheld camera or phone, it was all part of the framing. Most AD’s started recorded in someone’s bedroom on a tiny budget so they were gonna be poor quality, if you say “well it’s supposed to be, the character could only afford a £10 recording device (I could only afford a £10 recording device)”, or better yet you slap a tape whurring or radio static filter over it to mask the background fuzzy from an uninsulated room and you’re good to go. 

.... Oh, what you thought there was going to be a summary or conclusion for this? Yeah so did I when I started writing it but genuinely I went down so many research rabbit holes I’ve forgotten what it was, so now it’s just an infodump <3

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[teddy06writes]

Who Knew Being A Youtuber Was Dangerous

requested by this anon: "Okay last one I promise…. I think. So CC!Dream x Bodyguard!Reader or reverse the roles, whatever works. Premise: Dream starts going to conventions and needs to be protected from all the antis and obsessive fans. But Dream didn’t know his bodyguard was gonna be attractive…"

dream x reader

trigger warnings: some swearing, yelling, general violence/threats

premise: The first vidcon after Covid has finally arrived, and with his face newly revealed, Dream's getting a bit worried a bout how a week in California will turn out, so, he (lets be real it was his manager) hirers you and your team for protection

{Also reader has implied military background}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You didn't tell me that they were coming all the way out here! I thought we were meeting them in California!" Dream argued into his phone.

You leaned against the rented escalade, watching as he paced back at forth.

One of your partners half leaned through the passenger seat window, "Sir? We're going to be late if you don't wrap it up!"

The man in the driver seat tapped his thumbs on the wheel anxiously, "I can handle politicians, I can handle CEO's, hell I can handle regular celebrities'- but youtubers? Dude why?"

You looked back at him, "Don't complain, he's paying bigger bucks than anyone we've had in years."

"I know but-"

You shook your head, cutting him off as Dream approached the car, "I'm sorry- I just thought I wasn't getting your services until I landed in California."

You shook your head, "You've still got to get through two international airports, and your flight. We'll be going along with you throughout the duration of your trip, but that won't happen, if you don't go get your things so we can leave on time."

"Yeah-" He sighed, "I'll- get my bags."

Shaking his head, Dream hurried back inside, grabbing his things before sending Sapnap a panicked snap 'sap help the body guard is hot'

When he got no response, he sighed, pulling his things out of the house and locking up behind himself, "You know for body guards you are dressed awfully casually."

You sighed adjusting your windbreaker, as you grabbed one of his bags to put in the trunk, "We're supposed to blend in. People might think it's suspicious that you need body guards, they could... plan things."

"And three extra people traveling with me isn't?"

"Smith and McAllen aren't going to be with us, with us. Within range, sure, but not following you around. You're going to be telling people I'm just- a friend or something- your life was private enough it would blend in." You reported, closing the trunk and moving to open the other door for him.

You moved around the car, climbing into your own seat, "Let's move."

~~

The airport was fairly crowded, but you navigated through it carefully, avoiding the biggest groups of people and instructing Dream to keep his hood up.

After almost two hours of anxiety, you had finally boarded the plane, tucking your backpack under the seat in front of you.

"Where'd the other two end up?" He asked quietly.

"Smiths on the other side of the row, two up, and McAllen's behind us." You reported.

Dream nodded, and the two of you settled in for take off.

Nearly an hour in, and you could tell he was getting bored as he leaned over, "So how does one end up doing body guard stuff anyway?"

You shrugged, "My contract was ended early.... I was looking for a job, retaining all my previous work experience, and I stumbled upon this agency."

"It's strange that it's even a real job."

"It's strange that playing a video game is even a real job." You shot back, grinning.

"How do you know what type of videos I make?" He asked skeptically.

"Well I have to make sure a client is legit before taking a legal offer, right?" You chuckled.

~~ The flight was nearing at end, finally, and you went over the plans again, looking over the layout of the airport on your tablet.

"What're you doing?" Dream asked.

"You never get tired of questions do you?" You sighed.

He frowned, "Sorry..."

You sighed again, "We're supposed to plan the routes around every fucking building you go into. We have a plan, we stick to the route, we keep idiots like you safe from anti's and crazy fans."

"Crazy fans?"

"Well you only just revealed what you look like, you've never been mobbed in public," You explained, "You can never trust what a obsessed person would do. That's how John Lennon died."

"Really? You're citing the Beatles on why your looking at airport maps?"

"You literally hired me for this!"

~~ So far, vidcon had been uneventful on your part, and you found yourself back in the old routine of standing off to the side, in hallways, or generally out of the way as your client did his thing.

The same lie had been told millions of times by now, Dream's partner, that's how the internet knew you, and lies grew, but all you had to do was walk along side him, nothing more.

Your partners could normally just explain away being assistants or managers working with vidcon organizers.

"Someone on twitter started a conspiracy thread that 'dream and (y/n) are not a real couple, I found so much proof this weekend'." Sapnap laughed.

From your place at the other table you nearly choked on your sandwich as Dream began to wheeze.

"why is this getting traction!?!"

"Someone added to the end," Smith reported, looking up from his phone, "Their debating if it's real, fake, or if the person made the thread cause they were jealous."

You took a sip of your water, "I can't wait till this is over, then we'll break up and the stans will forget about me."

Dream laughed, "That's too bad, I was thinking of taking you guys on full time."

You sighed, shaking your head, pretending to be annoyed, "Oh no, being paid to fake date some cute famous guy."

"You think I'm cute?"

You rolled your eyes, ignoring him, "Hurry up, we've gotta leave in ten."

~~

You were halfway through the convention center when suddenly you began to miss all that standing around.

As usual movement through the convention center was tough, but this time the crowd seemed different, particularly as someone near the back began yelling about something.

You scanned the crowd, and the woman seemed to lock onto you, "You! Yeah you! Who the hell do you think you are?"

You glanced back at McAllen, who nodded, starting to move to the side, Dream following, ever so slightly.

"You don't get to date him! How could you stoop that low Dream?"

More yelling erupted from the crowd, and someone seemed to charge forward.

You immediately took charge, grabbing Dream's arm and pulling him along with you as Smith hurried forward to block the man.

"What the fuck is going on?" Dream asked.

"Shut up, and stay behind me." You hissed turning down a side hallway as all hell started to break loose in the convention center, a single gunshot ringing out.

"Shouldn't you be going to stop that?" Dream asked as you and McAllen hurried him down another corridor.

"Job for the police, not us." You muttered, "Exit's through here, lets go."

From behind you, there were more shouts, something about stealing Dream.

“Motherfucker, these people are insane.” McAllen muttered.

~~

Somehow, you’d managed to get Dream out of the building, double back, and also collect Smith and Sapnap on the way.

Running on pure adrenaline, you’d then helped anyone else, evacuating civilians as the police worked to talk down the shooter.

By the time you had arrived back to the hotel, finished making statements and refusing to answer a frat deal of questions from father fans, you were about to collapse.

“I thought your job was just to get me out of there.” Dream said, looking up as you entered your room.

“I did.”

“And then you went back in.”

“I help people, okay?” You snapped, “Normally this job doesn’t include being shot at because I have to fake date someone who I’m protecting.”

You sat down heavily, “just- gimme a minute to breath. You’ve made my job more complex than it needed to be.”

“With my dashing good looks?” He laughed.

You rolled your eyes, “I mean with the amount of trouble you’ve caused me we might as well be actually dating, then I might benefit more.”

He grinned, “I just might take you up on that.”

[wakeupthemembersofbylernation]

Reddit dudebros also don't understand media. If a queer ship, especially if it's between two main characters, were to happen for real then it actually makes sense from a media perspective to make that ship canon in the last season so the show can keep the homophobes going until the end. Because what are they going to do when it becomes canon? Quit the show? Well, the show is already over and they cannot do anything about it.

That's the same for Vickie and Robin romance as well. They have only been hinted at but not explicitly got together and made canon in this season. It's going to happen in S5 for the same reason. Is it bad that these two queer relationships can only happen in the last season? Yes, because queer ships are treated differently than the straight relationships in media and that's because of homophobia and fear of viewership loss. And it's very sad and bad but unfortunately it is a thing in media. It makes, sadly, perfect sense for the writers to wait to make RobinxVickie and WillxMike actually fully canon in the last season.

These are all good points! You’re right that it does make sense from a media perspective to save a queer ship for the end of a show, especially if a show is this popular/mainstream, and it involves main characters and not characters designated as “the gay ones.” However, I’m not sure to what extent this is the reason for Byler being saved for the end. I actually think the Duffers likely always planned to make this a slow burn romance and build it out over the seasons. It just fits the aesthetic of the ship. I feel like a lot of the nuances of Byler would change if Will and Mike didn’t have to go thru all of this development to get there. This is especially true because Stranger Things is very much a coming of age show, and it is set in the 80s, which makes it more complex. And Robin was only introduced in season 3 (though I do wish they would’ve fleshed out her relationship with Vickie more in Season 4). But I think one of the things that makes Byler so groundbreaking is the way it’s been slowly teased and built up over the course of the seasons right under everyone’s noses when no one was expecting it. We in Byler Nation are in tune with these queer themes and we’ve simply picked up on them way earlier than mainstream audiences, who are convinced Mandalorian is endgame because they interpret things in a surface-level, straightforward, what you see is what you get way. MGK is floating on the surface. Byler is under the surface so you have to swim below.

Dying at “Because what are they going to do when it becomes canon? Quit the show? Well, the show is already over and they cannot do anything about it” because you’re so right. I’ve seen lots of people say stuff like, “If they make Mike queer in season 5 and stranger things goes woke, I’m quitting the show!” and I’m like… broski, you’ve already watched the entire show at that point. There’s nothing to quit. I suppose it could make some of them leave the fanbase and never rewatch any of the seasons again, sort of how the Star Wars sequel trilogy was so controversial that it caused many former SW diehards to leave the fandom? Or perhaps they’ll never watch any of the spin-offs, whatever they may be? Or maybe some of them won’t watch the final season because Will’s sexuality will be front and center? But let’s be honest, most of them will most likely watch the final season through gritted teeth, complain about it “going gay” on Twitter for a few days, and move to something else to be outraged about soon after. Most of the Reddit dudebros aren’t diehard Melvins, they just don’t wanna see “that gay crap” on their TV programs. It’ll be interesting to see how the diehard Macaronis who genuinely are still invested in their ship react after season 5 because I think that’s a very different situation. (Side note: one example of a show that is starting out with a young queer ship is the new Chucky series, which I’d recommend. Season 2 is starting soon! Since by definition it’s not a slow burn, it will be interesting to see where it goes).

[kanmom51]

So I don't want there to be a division between older armies and younger armies and your blog is kind of like a safe space for me 🙂 and I don't know if you know about the drama on twt going on right now with younger armies calling 30+ older armies predators or exhibiting "predatory" behavior by finding the guys attractive/hot or sexualizing them as it was put but I want to state my age I am 35 and my bias is 8 years younger than me and yes I find him incredibly attractive and love all things about him as well as the rest of the guys but... does that make me a predator? I mean maybe I'm just confused or something got lost in context but it is very most concerning if some younger armies think that way about older armies or maybe I just need better clarification and understanding because I thought being part of army was not to be divided like this we're supposed to be united in our shared love for the guys I dealt with a similar issue when I was a baby army but it was in reference to liking bts music in general that I was "too old" (still here though lol) ahh I don't know what I'm saying I just don't like feeling this way I don't think there's anything wrong in finding them all attractive but I didn't expect my age group to get attacked like this idk idk...😔😔

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you anon.

This is another day I am super happy that I am not on Twitter. My god, what is wrong with people? Do they have this incessant need to cause drama, conflict, arguments, make others unhappy or uneasy???

Why can't everyone just mind their own business?

And this is before I even go into the age issue.

You would think that any fan would be happy the fandom is getting bigger. I can tell you that my girls wanted me to listen to their music, like their music, follow them, become army.

Do people older than them lose their eyesight in the process? Are they not allowed to say they are attractive? Which they totally are.

Does saying someone is attractive, if they are younger, turn you into a predator? Seriously?

And these young army, how old are they?

I was shocked to see 9, 10, 11 yo kids talking about things they wanted a certain member to do to them or them to the member. Is that ok? Because they are younger? (I kind of wonder where their parents are and if they are aware their little kids are talking the way they are on sm, but that’s a whole other issue).

As a whole, I think that there shouldn't be discussions of that sort on sm (the creepy sexualisation that goes on), totally regardless of the age group.

Do the fans have to be younger than the members to be allowed to be fans? On the one hand there are screams their music is meaningful and touches us all, but then we are told that if we are older than the members it's not relevant to us, or we are not allowed to enjoy it or enjoy the band?

And what I find funny is that these same Army that are calling out 30+ armys as predators were fuming at James Corden for saying that BTS armys consisted of 15 yo teenagers. So, which is it?  Are only fans younger than the members allowed to be Army?  What’s the threshold? JK’s age? Jin’s age?  Maybe we split it in the middle at 26/27?  Wait, but that would mean that 26 yo fans are predators, as JK is younger...

Of the top of my head: Is it possible that the 'older' army, usually being a sane voice is kind of pissing them off?  That maybe it’s the older, more mature fans, those that do have some life experience, that are trying to reign in the younger fans for offensive comments or behaviour and they aren’t liking it?  Just a thought.

[kylorenisadorkable]

How TROS Failed Rey

These are just my opinions and from my personal perspective, if these things worked for you in the movie then cool, but this is why it was never going to work for me.

A Feminine Power Fantasy

Growing up in the 90s there wasn't a ton of media that had female lead characters. I grew up with strong female characters but they were often relegated to being the token girl of the group (see the Smurfette principle), the story was never centered around them and we never got to experience things from their point of view or really get to know their story. It felt like I was being asked to relate to male characters but boys were never asked or expected to relate to female characters.

Just as young boys see themselves as Luke, leading the adventure I also wanted to see myself as the main character. I wanted to have my own adventures.

When I first saw TFA, I went in knowing nothing about the movie. I had seen the OT and the Prequels as a kid and I had thought they were ok but I wasn't a huge Star Wars fan and in hindsight I really think this was due to the lack of female representation, Leia and Padme are great but I never really felt like I really got to know them as people. Not to mention that these characters are 2 women out of a cast that's predominantly male, it just seemed like the message LF was sending was that Star Wars is for boys, yeah girls can watch it if they want to but this isn't a series that is meant for you. So as you could guess I wasn't really expecting much from these new Star Wars movies, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I fell in love with Rey's character during those first 3 minutes of her introduction. During this brilliant example of “show don't tell,” story telling they were really able to convey so much about Rey's character and personality, I really began to care for her and felt like I understood her, as I could relate to her loneliness and isolation in my own way. And I was excited to see a story from a major fantasy/adventure franchise told from a feminine perspective. It felt like I was finally getting the representation I wanted to see.

So what happened? How did we go from Luke's line “And I will not be the Last Jedi” which is essentially him “passing the torch” to Rey, the next generation, to “One day I will earn your brother's saber?” 

As if the saber didn't already choose her in the Force Awakens? Why did they decide that all of a sudden Rey was unworthy? Didn't Yoda say “that library held nothing that the girl Rey didn't already posses?” which yes was a clever way of saying that Rey already took the jedi texts with her but was also implying that she already had everything she needed within herself to be a jedi (courage, humility, compassion etc...). Why did they take a step backwards in the last movie in the franchise? Insisting that Rey needed to train, that she suddenly wasn't good enough?

I can't say for sure what happened to lead up to this point. Was it just that the creative team gave in to the pressuring of a loud minority of alt-right youtubers and bots. Were they relying on Reddit and Twitter for public opinion rather than doing actual marketing research?  While I think that this was definitely a big factor I think there was just a general misunderstanding of the characters on Terrio's and JJ's part to begin with.

What Does Rey Want/Need?

To know where they went wrong, we have to ask ourselves who is Rey? All characters have a story goal, or the thing they want. By the end of the story the character will either get what they want after some struggles of course or learn that the thing that they want isn't what they need. So what does Rey want?  To understand what she wants we have to first understand her wound or past experience that caused emotional pain and interferes with the character's life. Rey's wound stems from her  abandonment. Along with the wound, comes the concept of the false lie. What is a lie that the character believes about themselves that we as the audience knows is untrue? Rey's lie is first, that her family is going to come back for her. 

The other lie she tells herself is the belief that she is worthless because she was abandoned, as she tells everyone she meets “I'm no one“ or “I'm just a scavenger.”

When Daisy Ridley was asked in an interview why Rey says she's “No One.” Ridley says it's because our relationships to people define so much of who we are and without relationships then who are we?  This makes sense considering that our parents are major influences in our development and in how we think about ourselves through much of our lives.

Rey seeks out parental figures, thinking that through them she'll figure out where she belongs. “Whoever you're waiting for on Jakku, they're never coming back. But there's someone who still could. The Belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead.” 

Rey initially believes that Maz is referring to Luke and when she later sets off to find him. She believe that he is going to be able to give her answers, and provide her with the belonging that she longs for, but Luke ultimately ends up disappointing her but finds comfort in her relationship with Ben.

This goes back to the idea that what Rey thinks she wants, Isn't necessarily what she needs. As JJ stated in the directors commentary of The Force Awakens, “So there was a very powerful idea that what she desperately wanted was belonging, which she’ll get, but just not how she expects.”

JJ and Terrio try to fullfill Rey's need through “found family” the family she finds with her friends and the resistance, but I think there is more to Rey's desire of wanting family that can't be satisfied by this alone. Finn, Poe, Leia are definitely a part of her journey in finding belonging but they're not the final piece to the puzzle. Otherwise she would have felt completely fulfilled by the end of The Last Jedi when she is on the Falcon surrounded by her friends.

I think part of Rey's desire for family, is also the desire to be understood, to be “seen.”  Rey even tells Finn in TROS that “People keep telling me they know me. No one does.” We hear Ben's response in the trailer “But I do...” (which was cut from the movie)

Ben has always been shown to be the person who truly “sees” Rey. He sees even the aspects of herself that she doesn't like to acknowledge. Recognizing that her holding on to her parents is affecting her negatively and that if she really wants to “find herself” she needs to let go.

Which is why when Ben says “You have no place in this story. You're nothing. But not to me.” What is really being expressed is “I don't care about where you come from and I see you for who you are.”  

This is why I believe that Ben was always suppose to be the final piece to the belonging Rey is searching for. As their narratives are intertwined. They both satisfy each others needs as characters, Rey's need to be seen for who she is and Ben's need for reconciliation and healing within his family.

Rey Palpatine

Rian Johnson said that when he began working on The Last Jedi, he wrote out all the character's names and next to them wrote what would be the hardest thing for that character to face. For Rey, this was that she needs to stand on her own two feet and define who she is for herself but JJ and Terrio seemed to have misunderstood this as Terrio states that,

“We also thought that Rey’s arc cannot be finished after Episode VIII. You can leave Episode VIII and say, “Well, now, Rey is content. She’s discovered her parents aren’t Skywalkers, or whatever, and that’s fine.” But so much of her personal story was about where she came from, what kept her on Jakku all those years and the trauma that shaped her. We see quite strongly in Episode VII that something mysterious and troubling happened to her. Although she did get some answers in Episode VIII, we didn’t feel that that story was over. We felt that there were still more questions in Rey’s head about where she came from and where she was going. So, that was the other big idea that we had to address in this film. Rian’s answer to, “What’s the worst news that Rey could receive?” was that she comes from junk traders, and that’s true. She does come from junk traders; we didn’t contradict that.”

Rey's conflict wasn't that she came from junk traders. Rey didn't care about “legacy.” Her conflict stemmed from her abandonment. Rey thinks she's “a nobody” not because of her parent's occupation or lineage but because she feels that she must be worthless because why else would her parents give her up? Rey learning that her parents sold her off for drinking money, that they didn't want her, was already a difficult and traumatic truth to overcome. Star Wars is a coming of age story, in the OT Luke grows from being a boy longing for adventure to discovering what it truly means to be a Jedi (following your principles and having a compassionate heart). Rey's journey is about letting go of childhood trauma and discovering her own independence.

It's also strange seeing as JJ had previously stated during The Force Awakens press tour that “I really feel that the assumption that any character needs to have inherited a certain number of midi-chlorians or needs to be part of a bloodline. It's not that I don't believe that as part of the canon, I'm just saying that at 11 years old that wasn't where my heart was. And so I respect and adhere to the canon but I also say that the Force has always seemed to me to be more inclusive and stronger than that.”

And there was still conflict for her to overcome. The one person who she felt truly understood her is now the supreme leader of the first order, will the resistance discover their connection? Will they see her as a traitor? All of this had the potential for great external and internal character conflict, but for some reason they didn't see this as conflict enough to sustain a whole movie?

Instead they gave Luke's character arc in the OT of having a dark side relative to Rey. “Discovering that you actually descended from your adoptive family’s greatest enemy, the same enemy who corrupted Anakin Skywalker and is responsible for the destruction of the Skywalker family in the first place, felt most devastating to us.” This doesn't make any sense to me as it feel like they just gave Rey Luke's internal conflict of being afraid of his dark side, I don't think this was ever a problem for Rey. In fact, in The Last Jedi  she leapt into the dark side cave to face her darkness (her abandonment). Luke even says “You went straight to the dark and you didn't even try to stop yourself.” 

The dark side cave in The Last Jedi was symbolic of Rey coming to terms with her darkness (the parts of herself she wants to hide).  It relates back to Jungian psychology (which much of Star Wars is based on) that people can only become whole through understanding both the light and shadow aspects of their personality. So it doesn't make sense for Rey to be afraid of who she is in the final movie when she just finished a journey where she learned to accept who she was?

Rey Skywalker

Terrio says that the decision to have Rey take on the name “Skywalker” was a way to show that “you can choose your ancestry.” Which is not true and also a strange thing to say considering the trilogy started with this:

But even if this was just awkward phrasing and what Terrio meant to say was that she considers the Skywalkers her family. Does this make sense considering that she didn't have a great relationship with Luke to begin with?

 I've seen it argued that she took the name as a way of honoring Leia but Leia never took the name or considered herself a Skywalker. Also this is another step backwards for Rey's character as The Last Jedi was trying to assert that Rey does not need to keep looking for parental figures to define herself.

So why  must she be a Palpatine, a Skywalker and “all the jedi” anyways? I think this was done for two reasons, the first was because by killing Ben they were going to kill the last of the Skywalker family and they wanted to keep the name tied to the franchise, in case they need the characters for future projects down the line, so they just pushed it onto Rey. The second reason is that I think they were trying to appease the misogynists' who spent the last 4 years calling Rey a “Mary Sue” so they explained her power away through powerful male lineage. It just feels so weird to me, like the creators are saying that we should like Rey not because of who she is as a character but because of who she is in relation to all these other characters we know you like (Luke, Leia, all the jedi that use her as a vessel etc...)

Daisy Ridley has even expressed her frustration with the Rey's lineage debate multiple times, “I love that Rey is such a great character, they’re like: ‘No, no, she has to be… she has to be-’She’s her own person! Let her be her guys, let her live.

Yet even at the end of the final film poor Rey can't seem to catch a break as she's once again asked for her last name. She once again has to justify herself for just existing. Why are surnames suddenly so important in Star Wars now anyways? Shouldn't the correct answer be “just Rey,” now that she's come to accept who she is and where she's come from and shouldn't that be good enough? What happened to the message of anyone can be a hero? That you don't have to come from or align yourself with a powerful family legacy. That we all have the power to make a difference?

TROS seems to be constantly asking Rey to prove herself. And weirdly enough it reminds me in a strange meta way of my own experience being a woman in the fandom and being constantly asked to prove that I'm a “True fan” (whatever the f@#% that means...) to prove that I'm worthy of consuming and participating in this content that male fans feel belongs solely to them.

In Conclusion

So what did our heroine gain in the end? Did she find family and belonging? No. So what does she have in the end? A yellow lightsaber (for merchandising purposes) and a surname of a dead family?  I guess she finally has an answer to give all the nosey nellies, obsessed with ones pedigree that have suddenly popped up all over the galaxy.

It's not a satisfying ending for her, as she's basically right back where she started. Alone, in a desolate desert, once again staring face to face at an old woman (an old woman which at the start of the Force Awakens symbolized her fear of growing old and wasting away her life on Jakku).

Terrio states that  this is not meant to indicate that Rey plans to stay here, “The very last thing Rey would do after all that is to go and live alone in a desert.”  but when that is the last shot you chose to end the movie on then what is the audience suppose to think? The bigger issue however, is that Rey's ending holds no significance to her or her journey. Terrio says that “In our thinking, Rey goes back to Tatooine as a pilgrimage in honor of her two Skywalker masters. Leia’s childhood home, Alderaan, no longer exists, but Luke’s childhood home, Tatooine, does. Rey brings the sabers there to honor the Skywalker twins by laying them to rest — together, finally — where it all began.” Tatooine, the Lars homestead and the twin suns, don't mean anything to Rey.  You know who did mean something to Rey? Who was the one person who understood her, who she had an intimate relationship with, who she explicitly states she wanted to be with? Ben. But he's gone too. But clearly a light saber and surname are more important. Again this all comes from a lack of caring for what Rey wants.

I just wish that the Sequel Trilogy had stayed Rey's trilogy, that she got to be a heroine in her own right not because she was a skywalker, or a palpatine or from some other powerful family. I will always love Rey but I will always hate what they did to her and I'm tired of people invalidating my feelings and telling me that it was a good ending or that it was empowering. I just want heroines to be taken as seriously and to have all the same privileges as male heroes. Let them stand on their own without connecting them back to every male hero in the franchise, let them be their own character, and finally just let them be human, let them fall in love and have relationships if they want to. Male heroes are never considered to be less of a hero for having a love interest, so why are female heroes? Basically what I got out of the Rise of Skywalker, was that it was created by a couple of guys that loved Luke and the OT and could care less about Rey and that's truly heart breaking.

[jmnjmnjmn]

Celebrity Crush| part 1 | BTS x Reader mini series

Pairing: BTS x Celebrity!Reader

Key words: celebrity crush, singer, idol.

Word count: around 8,000

Masterlist

Okay, this one is just regular fluff, but it definitely has potential to become more juicy, maybe even angsty... I had many ideas when I was writing it, but decided upon cutting it where I did. Maybe there will be part two to this story, maybe not. If there will be it will also probably be able to functionas a totaly separate one shot. Also I couldn’t decide on a ship here! Initially it was supposed to be RM, but I kept coming back to JK (my bias xd). That’s where possibility of an angst story lays... Anyway tell me what you think of this piece!

“AH!” Namjoon exclaimed, dropping his spoon down into his soup.

“Hey, watch it! You’re spilling everything!” Seokjin yelled back at him as some of his friend's soup splashed out from his bowl.

“What happened?” Hoseok asked, sipping his soup slowly and looking at Namjoon with curiosity.

“It’s-It’s (Y/N).” He stuttered out, his eyes still glued to the screen of his phone. He was scrolling through Twitter when he noticed a tweet from his favourite female artist, (Y/N), announcing her world wide tour.

“What? Did she message you?” Seokjin asked him with a chuckle, knowing well that wouldn’t happen.

“I wish.” Namjoon scoffed and clicked on a link to an article some music site posted immediately after reading (Y/N)’s tweet. “(Y/N) has announced details of her long-awaited world tour.” He read out loud to  his friends already feeling his heartbeat pick up. “The singer has continuously updated her fans on the details, promising them that she was working on the announcement. Now, via a short video on Instagram simply captioned ‘Hello world’, she has finally revealed when and where the No Limitations tour will be starting off. You can see the full dates, which she simultaneously posted on her Twitter account, below.” He quickly scrolled down to take a look at the dates and locations. His jaw dropped as he scanned down the list and noticed the Asia leg of the tour. “Soul is on the list.” He muttered. “In January. Seoul is on the list.” He repeated looking at his friends with wide eyes.

“Finally!” Hoseok exclaimed reaching across the table to pat him on the shoulder. “You can go see her then.”

“It hasn’t been announced when tickets will go on sale.” Namjoon said in panic as he frantically searched the internet for information about the tour.

“I’m sure our staff can get you in there without a ticket.” Seokjin said casually, but Namjoon took the matter very seriously. (Y/N) wasn’t just someone who’s music he liked. He also had a huge crush on her as a girl in general and he wasn’t about to pass on an opportunity to see her perform live.

“I have to talk to our PD about that.” He said in an excited tone and clicked his Messages app to draft up a passionate yet professional text saying how much he wants, no, needs to go to (Y/N)’s Seoul concert.

“Now?” Seokjin asked, taken aback a little by his fast pace.

“No time to waste. It’s (Y/N) we’re talking about.” Namjoon chuckled. “If all goes well maybe we could work on some music together.”

“Yeah and maybe something more.” Hoseok teased him, earning a loud laugh from Seokjin. Namjoon only smiled up at them from his phone, because among those who followed the news about BTS it was a well known fact that he had a thing for (Y/N).

Whenever they would get asked about their celebrity crushes in interviews he would say (Y/N)’s name. Ideal girl - someone like (Y/N). A song they could listen to on loop - (Y/N)’s latest single. Fashion inspiration at the moment - (Y/N). Favourite movie - that one (Y/N) had a cameo in for like three minutes. It would happen so much that ARMY’s started making compilations of him talking about her on YouTube called “Namjoon drooling over (Y/N) for 7 minutes straight” and so on. At first he was embarrassed about it, but after some time that awkward feeling turned into hope that maybe she’ll see it and fall for him as well. He knew it was wishful thinking, but he still liked to imagine the moment you would message him saying you would love to collab on a song.

-

“I’m going to go talk to our PD.” Namjoon said, as he took off the bright pink sunglasses with Happy New Year written on top of them in a silly font. He wore them for the small photoshoot they just had for BTS’s New Year’s Eve post on Twitter.

“Now?” Jimin asked him, raising his brows.  He was still wearing his party hat he put on for the session. “It’s New Year’s Eve.”

“I know. I just-” He was interrupted by Taehyung’s loud cheer. “I’ll be right back.” Jimin just shook his head at his eagerness to find out whether (Y/N)’s staff has already answered BigHit’s request for letting Namjoon go to your show with a backstage pass as a celebrity guest of sorts.

Since they were already at the BigHit headquarters for the photoshoot and a little celebration for the beginning of the new year Namjoon had to walk just a couple of doors down to get to PD’s office. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. After hearing a faint invitation he pressed on the handle and opened it.

“Oh, it’s you. Why aren’t you with the others celebrating?” The PD asked, obviously surprised to see Namjoon.

“Ah, yes. I’ll be joining them in a minute.” He said, remembering Jimin’s words. “I just came here to ask about the No Limitations show. It’s in January and since it’s already first of the month I wondered-”

“Ah, of course.” PD cut him off with a smile. “You're going.”

“Really?” Namjoon asked in shock.

“Yes, all of you are.” Namjoon must have looked very confused for a moment there, because PD rushed with an explanation. “We got an answer saying they were going to issue a formal invitation to the concert and an after party to the whole band anyway. Go and pass on the news to the rest of the boys. We’ll have a proper meeting about this next week.” Namjoon thanked him accesively and assured he’ll let the rest of the members know about the situation. As he walked down the hall he heard their voices from the dance studio they had the photo shoot in. He was speechless.

“It’s happening.” He thought, leaning on the wall to catch a breath before coming inside. After a moment he pushed the door open and joined his group members with a bright smile.

“Guys, guys. Listen” He called. “We’re going to (Y/N)’s concert!” He exclaimed and they cheered, gathering around him, smothering him with hugs and tugging on his cheeks teasingly.

-

“Look at him.” Jimin chuckled pointing at Namjoon who was pacing around the room. “So excited for the concert.”

“Of course he is. He’s going to meet his crush.” Seokjin added, also laughing.

The whole group was teasing him about (Y/N) all throughout January. It was seventeenth today, the day of her Seoul show and he couldn’t wait. They already got their hair and makeup done. They were dressed to the nines. All that was left was to get to the show.

“The car is here.” Someone from the staff announced and all the boys got up from their spots. As they walked down the hall together they all took turns patting Namjoon on the shoulder for encouragement.

“Do you think we’ll have a chance to talk to her?” Jungkook asked with excitement when they were all in the car together.

“Of course!” Hoseok exclaimed.

“No, but like, for real talk. Not just: nice to meet you, let’s take a picture, goodbye.” The youngest explained quickly.

“Hopefully.” Seokjin said, patting Namjoon on the thigh as that was something he was worried about. He would definitely be happy if he got even only a second with (Y/N), but he wished for more.

After a short drive the car stopped in an underground parking lot under the venue of the concert. As they got outside they could hear the cheers of the crowds gathered outside. Their staff took them on an elevator explaining once again how the night will go. First a before party with other guests, then the concert itself and after that the after party at a hotel. Namjoon repeated the sequence of these events in his head a million times already. Technically he was prepared, but practically he was a mess. His hands were sweating and his heart was racing like crazy. He looked around the small elevator at his closest friends and the familiar faces of BigHit staff who were accompanying them. Realising he has so many people around him for support eased his nerves a little.

“I can’t believe we’re in the same building.” Namjoon muttered under his breath.

“Yeah, she was also in the same building as us at the VMA’s and AMA’s and so on.” Yoongi teased him and everyone chuckled.

“That’s true, Namjoon.” Taehyung agreed with a grin. “You shouldn’t be so worried.”

“Easy for you to say.” Namjoon added right as the elevator door opened.

“Yeah, she already saw us perform at one of the award shows. She knows who we are. It’s going to be fine.” Jimin said in a nervous tone. Namjoon just nodded to himself trying to make the anxious thoughts go away as they approached the area where the before party was held.

They were all excited to see (Y/N)’s show and attend her after party, but with the tremendous enthusiasm also came the stress of meeting an A list celebrity from overseas. 

-

“I can’t believe she’s still not here.” Namjoon whined to Taehyung and Jimin as the rest of the group scattered to chat with other invited idols and celebrities. “All the dancers and her band are here already.”

“It’s still early.” Taehyung tried to cheer him up. “She’ll show up any moment. I’m sure.”

“Definitely.” Jimin agreed with him energetically.

Before Namjoon could voice another concerned thought lingering in his brain everyone in the room started cheering and clapping. He looked around wondering what caused this reaction as he noticed the obvious reason.

“Thank you all so much for coming.” (Y/N) said stopping somewhere in the middle of the gathered crowd of celebrities and staff. “It means a lot. Really.” She put her hand to her chest as she spoke. “If all goes well the show will be starting in a couple of minutes. Wish me luck and have fun.” 

“That’s it?” Taehyung asked as (Y/N) was rushed away by her staff to the stage entry. “I thought she was going to chat with everyone or something.”

“Do you chat with guests before the show?” Jimin asked. “That’s what the after party is for.” He explained and Namjoon hummed in agreement. Just the quick glimpse he caught of her was enough to leave him speechless.

“Let’s go watch the show.” Hoseok said approaching the three from behind with the rest of the group following close behind.

There was a big screen in the backstage lounge and a couple of smaller TV’s located at the stage entries for those that wanted to glance at the stage during the show to see the real deal. They watched the first half of the show in the lounge and later relocated to the left entry area. Namjoon’s eyes were glued to the screen as everyone around him chatted away. He tried to pay attention to the conversation and partake from time to time, but his focus quickly went back to (Y/N). She looked stunning singing and dancing on stage.

Suddenly a group of staff dressed in all black rushed into the area they were hanging out in with some other guests.

“Wardrobe change, left.” One of the staff said as she clicked on her earpiece.

Namjoon almost jumped out of his seat when he saw (Y/N) jogging down from the stage and into the swarm of her people from her team.

“Woah, that gave me chills.” Yoongi commented as (Y/N) passed by them surrounded by her wardrobe, hair and makeup team.

“Say something.” Hoseok whispered, elbowing Namjoon’s side.

“Like what?” He asked following (Y/N) with his gaze as she disappeared behind her dressing room's door.

“Great show, looking good. Anything really.” He encouraged him with a cheeky smile.

“No.” Namjoon shook his head, already feeling the blood rushing to his head.

“Do it. Do it.” The rest of the members repeated after Hoseok, but he only shook his head once again.

“She’ll come out any second.” Seokjin added in a warning tone.

He was right. The dance number performed by her backup dancers was getting to an end and (Y/N) should be running out onto the stage soon to sing the next song.

“Great show!” Jungkook yelled out in English.

All the boys’s heads snapped in his direction and then onto (Y/N). She was walking out of her dressing room in long strides. As Jungkook yelled out his praise she turned to look his way without stopping,

“Thank you!” She answered quickly before being escorted by her staff into the understage corridors.

All the boys started shoving and pushing the youngest member teasingly.

“Namjoon was supposed to say that. You took over his part. Jungkook, you’re so eager.” They yelled with laughter.

-

“What time is it?” Taehyung asked the group as most of the guests gathered in the backstage lounge to watch the encore of the show.

“It’s close to eleven.” Seokjin answered, looking at his phone.

“Before we finish off the show with this last song I just wanted to take a minute to say: Thank you so much.” (Y/N)’s voice echoed from the stage and through the speakers in the lounge. She was standing in the bright lights holding the mic to her lips. “Thank you for choosing to come see the show and spending the night here with us. I really can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for all of you, here in the audience and back at home watching and streaming my music and the shows. Thank you so much.” 

“Ah, she’s so nice. Never forgetting about her fans.” People around muttered.

“I really, truly appreciate you guys. I cannot imagine how this year would’ve gone if I hadn't spent it with all of you, all of the people on the stage and behind it. We’ve been away from our homes for so long.” (Y/N) voice got higher with nerves and sadness that came over her as she spoke about her home. “We’re coming close to ten months on the road now. That’s a long time.” She said, bringing her hand to her chest to show her gratitude. “Thank you so much for putting up with me.” She chuckled and the staff cheered. “I feel so lucky and so fortunate to be working with all of you and to be able to perform in front of all of you.” She sighed deeply, undoubtedly masking a cry. “So thank you. I love you so much. Thank you.”

-

The audience was shouting and applauding loudly as (Y/N) walked off the stage waving to them. As soon as she was out of the view she handed her microphone to one of the sound people and took a big gulp of water from the bottle one of the staff handed her.

“Thank you.” She breathed out. “I need to get out of this hair as soon as possible.” She chuckled tiredly as she walked into her dressing room.

“We’ve got about twenty minutes to get you ready for the after party.” Her assistant, who was waiting inside, spoke calmly as the beauty and wardrobe team gathered around (Y/N) quickly taking out the bobby pins from her hair and undoing the back of her dress. “There’s quite a lot of guests your manager would like you to talk to, at least for a minute.” She said and quickly moved on to listing all the most important people attending the party.

“Have any of those people been informed that I might want to reach out to work with them later?” (Y/N) asked, getting into her oversized sweatshirt dress with the help of some staff so that she doesn’t ruin her makeup.

“No, that’ll be done after tonight. Sometime this week though.” She explained scrolling through something on her tablet.

“What time is the flight to Osaka tomorrow?” (Y/N)’s voice sounded tired as she thought of getting on another plane.

“Actually, there’s been a change of plans.” Her assistant said casually. “You got surprise booked for a daytime show tomorrow, so we’re staying in Seoul for that for the whole day and flying to Japan the next morning. The crew will be already there setting everything up for Saturday.”

“Two days in Seoul?” (Y/N) was surprised.

“Mhm.”

“What’s the show?”

“King of Masked Singer. You’re going to be the surprise opening act. I’ll fill you in on everything tomorrow morning.”

“Perfect.” She said smiling at herself in the mirror as the hairstylist was fixing up her hair.

“Heels or sneakers?” One of the wardrobe girls asked.

“Heels.” (Y/N) answered without hesitation. She wanted to look her best when surrounded with so many new faces at the after party and pairing sneakers with an oversized sweatshirt didn’t seem like the greatest combination for that.

“Ready.” The head stylist stated as one of the staff helped (Y/N) get into her thigh high booties.

From there, accompanied by security, (Y/N) and her assistant walked to the elevator that took them to the parking lot located under the venue.

-

As (Y/N)’s car pulled up in front of the hotel a swarm of fans and paparazzi started yelling out her name and waving to get her attention. She stopped to get her pictures taken, walked up to a couple of fans to sign their albums or pictures and walked inside to get to the after party. With her assistant following her every step and the three body guards right behind them she took yet another elevator to the hotel bar rented for the occasion. 

“Let’s do this.” (Y/N) whispered to herself as she pushed the bar door open.

When she walked deeper into the crowded room random hands touched her shoulders and unknown voices spoke words of praise directed her way. She smiled and thanked the faceless mass making her way towards the DJ’s stand.

“That’s her.” Hoseok whispered as (Y/N) passed by the group of boys.

“Woah. She’s dressed cool.” Taehyung gasped, eying down her figure.

When she stepped onto the slightly elevated stage the DJ stopped the music and handed her a microphone. A wave of cheers erupted from the gathered guests as everyone noticed the star of the night had arrived.

“Hi.” (Y/N) spoke sweetly into the microphone and let the crowd yell or whistle back at her for a moment. “It’s so nice to see all of you here.” She chuckled. “Eat, drink, have fun. It’s all on me tonight. Just tonight.” She joked and the crowd clapped and yelled in excitement. “I know you all came here after the concert, but it’s not all about my music tonight.” Her tone turned mysterious all of a sudden. “It’s actually a very special day for someone else as well. A very funny guy, an inspiration in the studio, a dance mastermind and a dear friend and coworker of mine.” With every endearment term she listed the cheers got wilder. “Johnny Campbell. Where you at?” She asked looking around the room.

“Here!” Someone called out in the front of the room.

“Johnny, this is for you.” (Y/N) said in a low voice and started singing a very sexy adaptation of the birthday song.

As she finished someone in the crowd whistled and Johnny joined her on stage.

“Happy birthday Johnny.” (Y/N) finished off her wishes and hugged him tightly. “Let’s party, everyone!” She exclaimed into the microphone earning a loud cheer from everyone gathered at the bar.

-

(Y/N) made her way to the bar, stopping to chat and take a picture with someone every couple of steps. More than twenty minutes had passed from the moment she got off stage to when she finally got to the counter and grabbed herself a glass of expensive champagne. She sipped on the bubbly liquid and chatted to members of her dance crew. Looking around the room she locked eyes with a guy she recognised from somewhere. It took her a minute to realise it was BTS’s Jimin she was looking at. She smiled to herself, remembering that his group was on her manager’s to-talk-to list. Being halfway done with her drink she decided to down it and get another one before walking up to the group of boys.

“Oh my god.” Jimin exclaimed. “(Y/N) just looked here.” 

“Where is she?” Namjoon asked, feeling his panic and excitement blur into one.

“At the bar.” He answered through gritted teeth.

“She’s coming here. She’s coming here.” Jungkook said quickly as (Y/N) made her way towards them.

“Hi, guys. I’m so glad you could make it.” She said in a sweet tone. “I’m (Y/N).”

“We know.” Jungkook blurted out which would normally earn him a shove to the shoulder from the older members, but the sound of (Y/N)’s chuckle at his comment made them relax and join her with nervous laughter. “I’m Jungkook.” He added extending his hand.

“I know.” (Y/N) answered with a smile and went for a hug and kiss on the cheek instead of a simple handshake.

“You know?” He asked in shock.

“Yes, I saw you guys perform at award shows, your music is everywhere. I know BTS.” The members smiled widely as she explained and started greeting the rest of them in the same way one by one. The hugs were quick, but still sincere. “I’m so happy you found time in your busy schedule to come see my show.” 

“We wouldn’t miss it.” Namjoon said, trying to sound cool and collected. He wasn’t going to mention that he practically begged their PD to get them backstage.

“Oh, thank you.” She smiled and Namjoon’s knees almost went weak at the sight.

“Yes, great show.” Jungkook added and the group laughed.

“Oh, it was you.” (Y/N) also laughed realising it was Jungkook who yelled the words of praise her way halfway through the concert.

“Yes, I… Liked your dance with… By Your Side.” Jungkook said slowly making sure he picked the right words. “Great choreography.”

“Thank you.” She answered, bringing her hand to her chest as she accepted his compliment. “It’s nothing compared to your routines though. Those look hard.”

“Ah, yes. Thank you. We work hard. A lot of practice.” They muttered with modesty.

“Honestly!” (Y/N) exclaimed. “I was trying to learn the routine for your song with Halsey with my girls… So hard.”

“Boy With Luv?” Jimin raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but the foot choreo was killing me.” She complained jokingly.

“Hyung, ask her which member’s part she learned.” Jungkook asked Namjoon in Korean.

“He wants to know which member’s choreography you learned.” Namjoon explained.

“Yours,” (Y/N) pointed to Jungkook.

“Me?” He asked and she nodded energetically. “Hyung, say I can teach her the choreography.” He added in Korean with a wide smile, still shocked he’s talking to such a huge star. Namjoon and the rest of the boys laughed at the youngest member’s bluntness.

“He’s saying he’ll teach you.” Namjoon hurried with an explanation as (Y/N) looked confused by what they were laughing about. 

“Watch out, ‘cause I’ll take you up on that offer.” She raised her brow at Jungkook cheekily who looked at Namjoon for a translation.

“She says she might take you up on that.” He translated to his friend and he laughed, feeling a blush creep up onto his face.

“I sang your song during soundcheck today.” (Y/N) stated and all the members raised their brows at her.

“Which one?” Jungkook asked.

“Sweet Night. V’s solo.” She said pointing to Taehyung. “It’s such a sweet song and you sound amazing in it.” She said, touching his shoulder.

“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled, bowing to her slightly.

Not in many moments Namjoon was glad that his members couldn’t speak English as well as he did, but right now he couldn’t be happier about it. They were all so excited to be talking to (Y/N) they forgot their tongues. The alcoholic beverages that they already consumed didn’t help either. They asked him for translations every other sentence, meaning (Y/N) needed him to translate for her as well, meaning he was talking to her more than any other member, meaning she looked at him more than at any other member. Despite the language barrier the conversation flowed so easily between them. He felt ecstatic.

“(Y/N).” Her assistant called her name and brought her to the side for a moment.” It’s showtime.”

By saying “showtime” she meant that it’s time for (Y/N) to perform a song or two to entertain the guests and keep the party going.

“I’ll be right there.” She answered her and walked back to the group of boys.

“V, could I borrow you for a moment?” She asked with a sweet voice.

Unsure of what she might want from him, but still excited Taehyung followed (Y/N) into the bar.

“You said you love Underneath and know the lyrics by heart.” She said, glancing at him as they walked side by side through the crowded room filled with chatter and music. Taehyung hummed in agreement, feeling his heartbeat grow faster and faster. “You know them well enough to sing it live with me now?”

“What?” He asked, almost tripping over his own feet.

“I’m supposed to perform a couple of songs now. Would you like to perform one with me?” She asked stopping and looked him in the eyes with hope.

“Of course.” Taehyung answered, giving her his signature box smile.

“Great!” She exclaimed and grabbed his hand to lead him backstage. “This way.”

-

“Where do you think she took him?” Seokjin asked as (Y/N) disappeared with Taehyung in the crowd.

“I have no idea.” Namjoon answered, also curious about the whole ordeal.

“She’s very nice.” Jungkook commented.

“Yeah, nicer than I imagined.” Yoongi added.

“We have to get a picture together.” Hoseok said and the rest of the boys agreed.

“Look, there’s (Y/N).” Jimin pointed towards the stage where the DJ’s booth was located.

“Welcome to the stage, the one and only, (Y/N) and Korea’s very own, V of BTS!” Announced the DJ and all the boys’s jaws dropped to the floor.

“What?!” They screamed in unison.

“Hi.” (Y/N) said in a low voice. “V and I have a very special cover for you tonight. Please enjoy, Underneath.”

The rest of the members sang along to the fast paced pop song as V and (Y/N) performed. The lyrics talked about hidden feelings and the tension that can build up if you don’t give them a way out. Even though (Y/N) and Taehyung never sang together before their voices blended perfectly in the duet. When they finished their performance the crowd applauded loudly. (Y/N) put her arm behind Taehyung and he did the same. Joined in this side hug they bowed to the audience.

After a minute or two Taehyung got back to his friends with the widest smile on his face.

“Can you believe this?” He was still in shock.

“Congratulations. You were so good. Woah.” All the boys chattered at the same time.

“I recorded you.” Seokjin added as he pulled out his phone from his pocket. They gathered around the small screen watching Taehyung and (Y/N)’s performance once again.

“Where is she?” Namjoon asked Taehyung as the video came to an end.

“Last I saw her she was talking to MAMAMOO.”

“Ah, so cool. She’s probably busy. We didn’t even take a picture together.” The group chimed. After a moment of sulking they went back to obsessing over the fact that they met (Y/N) and that one of their own members sang with her.

Surrounded by music, food and alcohol the time seemed to fly by very fast. Accompanied by their staff they left the party around two in the morning without having a chance to talk to (Y/N) one more time.

-

Mornings after concerts are usually pretty bad for both the audience members and the performing artists, but mornings after concerts combined with after parties, meeting new people and mingling with every music producer possible are even harder.

(Y/N) woke up with a headache and a bitter taste in her mouth. From her bed she walked straight to the bathroom to take a shower. When brushing her teeth she scrolled through her Twitter feed reviewing every other caption or photo on the endless string of posts from last night she was tagged in. She liked a couple of tweets posted by her friends and was about to lock her phone when she noticed a simple caption.

“Great show #정국” (Y/N) pressed on the picture to see it whole. She immediately recognised Jungkook, one of the members of BTS, a band she met last night. He was standing in front of the big monitor backstage with her tour logo on it, making hearts with his fingers and smiling at the camera. She smiled to herself remembering how easily yesterday’s conversation flowed with the group of boys.

“Ah, I wish I had his number.” (Y/N) muttered. “I could take him up on that dance lesson offer.”

-

(Y/N) rushed to open her hotel room’s door to the room service. The hoteboy brought in the big breakfast she just ordered minutes ago and set it on the table. As she got ready to dig into the scrambled eggs her phone started vibrating. She looked at the called ID and quickly picked up as she saw it was her assistant calling. She gave her a quick rundown of the day’s events and informed her she’s free to rest and relax until three in the afternoon.

“That’s when they’ll pick us up for King of Masked Singer.” She finished explaining.

“I have one more question.” An interesting idea popped into (Y/N)’s head. “Is there a way you could get me the number of BTS’s Jungkook?” 

-

(Y/N)’s phone chimed as she was finishing up her breakfast. She picked it up reading the message she just recieved.

“I got it.” As she read the message from her assistant another one appeared on the screen. This time it was a string of numbers.

“Ah, what should I say?” (Y/N) pasted the number into her contacts and waited a minute before pressing the dial button. The phone beeped a couple of times before going silent. Jungkook didn’t pick up. “Hm. Let’s try again.”

Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, Jungkook was hanging out with his friends in their shared apartment. He was typing something up on his phone when the screen lip up with an unfamiliar number. 

“Hyung, do you know this number?” He showed the ringing screen to Taehyung sitting beside him on the couch.

“No. Pick up.” Jungkook just shook his head at his answer.

“I don’t pick up unknown callers.” He rejected the call and went back to what he was doing. “This person is calling again.”

“Pick up.” More preoccupied with switching through TV channels, Taehyung encouraged him tiredly. Jungkook swiped right to take the call and put it on speaker.

“Hello?” He asked in Korean.

“Ah- Hello.” Jungkook and Taehyung locked eyes in surprise and curiosity as the person on the other side spoke in English. “It’s (Y/N). From yesterday.” Taehyung almost screamed in shock. Jungkook felt all his blood rush to his head.

“Ah, sorry. Hello. Sorry.” He stumbled over his words, trying to explain why he didn’t answer her call at first ring. “I don’t pick up if I don’t know the number.” (Y/N) chuckled on the other end of the line.

“It’s fine.” Her voice was sweet and calm. “Actually, I’m calling, ‘cause I’m still in Seoul-” Taehyung stood up from the couch covering his mouth with his hands, still in deep shock. “-and I was wondering- I was thinking about what you said last night, so…” Jungkook scrunched his eyebrows, trying his hardest to remember what he said that made (Y/N) call him the next morning. “If you have time we could meet and dance together.” Taehyung gasped. “You could teach me the Boy With Luv choreo and-” Jungkook couldn’t control himself and answered her before she could even finish asking the question.

“Yes.” He blurted out. Taehyung jumped back on the couch and pushed his shoulder with a huge smile.

“Really?”

“Yes, yes.” He assured her.

“Should I come to your-” Eager to see her he cut her off again.

“You can come to our studio. I will text you the address.”

“Great. I’m free until three in the afternoon so text me the time as well.” She added.

“Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll see you there.” (Y/N) added after a moment of silence.

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

“AH!” Jungkook threw his phone, which felt red hot in his hands right now, on the other side of the couch.

“What was that?!” Taehyung yelled, shaking on his shoulders. “How did she get your number?!” 

“I have no idea!” Jungkook felt his body relax as he was no longer on the phone. “Oh my god. I have to text her now!” He reached to dig his phone out from under a stack of pillows and blankets on the couch. “And I have to go see her!”

-

“You’re doing great.” Jungkook praised (Y/N) with laughter as she jokingly overdid the moves and gestures in the choreography. “Like that.”

“Okay, but in all seriousness how did I do?” She asked, cutting the jokes short. Jungkook raised his thumbs up with a smile and she chuckled again.

“Let’s do it again and record it so we can review. You vs me.” He set his phone up on the floor by the mirrors in the studio space at BigHit.

“Teacher vs student.” Jungkook just hummed in agreement before playing the music.

-

Tired after practicing Boy With Luv for an hour and freestyling for almost two more (Y/N) and Jungkook sat down on the floor of the dance studio panting. She stood up to get herself some water and immediately regretted it.

“Ah, my legs.” Jungkook smiled at her words. Although (Y/N) danced in her music videos and during live performances her routines were far more relaxed that BTS’s regular dances. Their moves were sharp and strong and her’s more sexy and slow. Chucked her emptied water bottle back into her bag and turned to face Jungkook again. “Are you hungry?” He raised his brows, knowing what will come next if he says he is in fact hungry.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go eat something.” Her proposition was so blunt and free. He could not refuse her, but the excitement that filled his chest at that moment didn’t overshadow the fact that the rest of his group would be so bummed they didn’t get to eat with (Y/N) as well.

“Ah, can I do this to them?” He whined in Korean. (Y/N) gave him a confused look since she didn’t understand a word he just said. “My members will be jealous.” He explained with a slight smile.

“Oh, I didn’t think about that. Should we invite them?” That Jungkook wasn’t expecting.

“You want that?” He asked to make sure he didn’t just hear something wrong. (Y/N) smiled sincerely at his unsure expression.

“Yeah, why not?” Jungkook quickly got up from the ground and dug his phone up from his pocket.

“I’ll call them. Wait a second.”

“Okay.” (Y/N) answered as he walked out of the studio to call his friends.

Jungkook dialed Namjoon’s number, knowing he was at the apartment right now enjoying his day of rest. The line beeped a couple of times before he finally picked up.

“Hello?” His voice was low and sleepy in contrast with Jungkook’s, which was excited and fast paced.

“Hyung, listen. Get the rest of the guys and put me on speaker. I have something to tell all of you.” 

“What is it?”

“Are they all there?”

“Wait a second.” Some shuffling and name calling was heard on the other side of the line before Namjoon spoke up again. “Okay, go.”

“So I’m with (Y/N) right now. We just got done dancing and all that and… She’s invited us all to lunch.” 

“What? Oh, wow. Really? How cool.” The group erupted in chatter as they heard Jungkook’s news.

“Yeah. Can you come?”

“Of course. Yes. I can’t.” Another bundle of statements was heard.

“Who can’t?” Jungkook asked, saddened.

“Yoongi.” Seokjin said.

“I already have plans with our producers, but you all should go.” Yoongi explained, still encouraging the rest of the boys to go out.

“You sure?” Namjoon asked.

“Yes, go.”

“We’ll take a picture for you.” Hoseok joked.

“What are we going to eat?” Taehyung asked out of the blue.

“I don’t know.” Jungkook answered, not really having thought about that yet.

“Since we know Seoul maybe we should pick the place?” Seokjin proposed thoughtfully.

“Good idea. I’ll tell her that. When will you come here?”

“Thirty minutes? We need to get dressed.” Namjoon said and murmur of agreement was heard.

“Okay, okay. Don’t overdress though, we’re both in sweatpants.” Jungkook added with a chuckle. After exchanging goodbyes he hung up and sighed deeply, letting his shoulders relax a little before going back into the studio.

When he opened the door he saw (Y/N) stretching her legs in a sitting down position. He joined her on the floor before speaking.

-

As Taehyung pulled into BigHit’s parking lot Jungkook and (Y/N) were already waiting outside. Both dressed in large black puffer jackets going over their knees, they stood beside one another. Jungkook was looking over (Y/N)’s shoulder pointing to something on her phone.

“Now you can add a picture.” He said, swiping his finger on her screen. (Y/N) nodded and pressed on the camera option.

“Take a selfie with me.” She asked, raising her phone up to take a picture of the two of them.

Jungkook smiled shyly and pulled his mask down half way. (Y/N) did the same before snapping a cute picture to set as her contact photo. Jungkook quickly pulled his mask back up to cover his cheeks that started to turn bright red. He glanced over her shoulder as she manipulated the photo to fit both of their faces into the small square.

“And synchronise your contacts, so I will be there.” He added as she finally accepted the placement of the picture.

“Oh, great.”

“Yeah.” (Y/N) pressed on the ‘synch contacts’ button before looking up at Jungkook.

“Thank you.” She said sweetly and pulled her mask back over her nose.

“You’re welcome.”

Taehyung noticed the two of them standing in front of the building exit and slowly pulled up. As he got closer he rolled down his window.

“Hello!” The sudden greeting made them jump up slightly.

“Hi!” (Y/N) called back sweetly.

“Come in!” Shoulder to shoulder they walked towards the car after Taehyung's invitation.

Namjoon was already sitting in the passenger's seat making it so that Jungkook and (Y/N) had to sit together in the backseat.

“How was dance practice?” Namjoon asked them.

“What was it?” (Y/N) tapped Jungkook’s arm. He whispered something to her and she clapped her hands in realisation. “Daebak.” Namjoon and Taehyung laughed at her harsh pronunciation.

“It was good. Great.” Jungkook added after the chuckles died down. “Where are the other guys?” He asked Namjoon in Korean.

“The rest of the guys will meet us at the restaurant.” He explained in English, so (Y/N) could understand. She was still doing something on her phone when he glanced at her from the front seat.

“Jungkook.” Her shy tone echoed in the car. “I synced the contacts, but you’re not here.” She showed him her phone with a concerned expression. “Look.” 

“Maybe I will just add my number like normal and then it will be saved in the contacts.” (Y/N) hummed in agreement, giving him her phone.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked in Korean, eying the two in the rearview mirror. Jungkook glanced at him, thanking god that (Y/N) doesn’t speak their language.

“I made (Y/N) a Kakao account.”

“And you’re putting your number in?” Taehyung continued in a teasing tone. Jungkook smiled at (Y/N)’s screen and typed in his ID.

“It’s not like that.” 

-

The boys picked out a traditional korean diner with private rooms and floor level tables. They ordered mountains of meat to fry and tons of side dishes, soups and rice. At first (Y/N) widened her eyes at the amount of food concerned there will be leftovers, but within thirty or forty minutes she realised that those six boys’s stomachs can intake much more food that she can.

The conversation within the group flowed swiftly and comfortably as it did the night before. There even was some talk about possible musical collaborations. No one was looking at the clock, but at two o’clock sharp (Y/N)’s phone buzzed.

“Ah, it’s my assistant.” She announced with deep sorrow in her voice. “Unfortunately I will have to get going soon, guys. I have a TV appearance this evening.”

“TV today?” Seokjin asked in English. He seemed really shocked. When he spoke again he directed his words to Namjoon and spoke in Korean. “She shouldn't have eaten so much noodles and rice. She’ll be bloated and puffy. That’s very bad.”

“He says noodles and rice is bad for TV, ‘cause you might get puffy.” Namjoon explained to (Y/N) who just waved him off and chuckled.

“Ah, I’ll be wearing a big dress and a mask anyway.”

“What show are you on?” Namjoon asked, curiously.

“Something called King of Masked Singer.” The boys started talking over each other in Korean and patting Jungkook on the shoulders. After a moment of that Namjoon translated the jist of it to (Y/N).

“Yeah, so JK also was on that show.” (Y/N), who was sitting opposite to the youngest member of the group, looked up at him with a smile.

“Really?” She asked after swallowing another sip of hot soup. “What did they put you in? What costume?”

“I was…” He wanted to tell her everything in English, but was missing the most crucial word. “Hyung, how do you say fencer?” He asked Namjoon who looked confused for a second before answering him with a shrug. Jungkook reached to his pocket and pulled out his phone. “I’ll show you.” He typed the right words into YouTube and passed (Y/N) his phone. As soon as she looked at the moving screen she nodded in realisation.

“Ah, fencer.”

“Fencer, yes.” Namjoon agreed. (Y/N) skimmed through the video listening to Jungkook’s clear and beautiful vocals in the cover of BIGBANG’s If You.

“Woah, this is good.” She said, looking up at him.

“Thank you.” He accepted the compliment as she passed the phone back to him.

“You know what you will have?” Hoseok asked.

“What I’ll be dressed in? Yeah, I’m singing Beauty and the Beast, so I’ll be a princess.”

“Ah, cute.” Seokjin called out with a chuckle as (Y/N)’s phone buzzed once more.

“Ah, I really have to go.” She sighed deeply as the boys whined at her early leave. “I have to get myself intact before going to the studio.” She said gesturing to her laid back outfit. Since she was meeting Jungkook earlier for dance practice she was wearing a pair of branded sneakers, high waisted sweatpants and a hoodie - an outfit most of the boys in the room thought of as very pretty, but to her it was just workout gear.

“Do you need a ride?” Jungkook asked, all of a sudden realising she drove here with them and might not have a ride back to her hotel, but (Y/N) shook her head.

“No, my security is already parked outside.” The boys nodded at the professional sound of that statement. She was an A list celebrity after all and couldn’t just run around town by herself.

Everyone stood up from the table as (Y/N) slipped on her shoes and jacket.

“It was so nice to see you again.” Namjoon started as (Y/N) turned towards them before going out the door of the private dining room. She smiled sincerely and swung her backpack onto her shoulder.

“I’m so glad we got to hang out.” She looked at them with a shine in her eyes before going in for a hug with each of them. “And that we got to dance.” She added stopping in front of Jungkook. He smiled and chuckled as she hugged him goodbye.

“Yes. Me too.”

The group exchanged a couple more words of goodbye before (Y/N) walked towards the sliding door. As she was about to close it behind herself she slipped her face mask down and smiled at the group once more.

“Hopefully that’s not the last I see of you.” She added and the boys erupted with negating statements and chuckles.

[mammons-tax-returns]

Hey! I saw that your ask box was open, so I was wondering if I could request how the brothers (if not all then just Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Leviathan) would react to the mc defending them! Like they get into a fight and their only response was "they were talking bad about you" or something! -🥀 (Also side note, do you right for GN! MC's, or just male?)

BROTHERS REACTING TO MC DEFENDING THEM

Hey anon! Thanks so much for requesting! As for your question, This is TECHNICALLY a male reader blog, however, if it isn’t necessary, I will use he/him pronouns loosely. In other words, if the prompt doesn’t specify/depend on it being a male mc, it will be gn!mc! Hope this clears up some confusion! I’ll start putting whether a post is for a gn or male mc at the very beginning of said post from now on.

✖️GENDER NEUTRAL MC✖️

fluff, some angst :).

Lucifer was more angry than anything to hear that MC had gotten in a fight. The one thing he made sure they did was to stay out of trouble. And yet, they seem to be a magnet for chaos.

He stumbled upon the fight before it got bad, and had the demon dealt with as he accompanied MC to an empty room at RAD.

Although he seemed to be sweating out of exasperation, it was easy to tell that he was simply worried about them.

Well. Kind of.

If you look past the hour-long lecture it is.

MC tries countless times to explain themself, and yet he never fails to reroute the conversation back to his lesson on running from a demon before things get bad.

It gets to a point when MC has to put a hand over his mouth to quiet him.

Only then do they explain what happened, and what caused the fight to begin with.

First, he is absolutely shocked. And he can’t really find the right thing to say.

Then, his eyes relax, and his frown seems to melt away. He truly wants to be mad still, to teach a proper lesson. But he just can’t do it.

“It is true that humans tend not to think things through, I suppose.”

He crosses his arms and continues, “Well, I appreciate it, but I don’t need the protection.”

After ruffling their hair, he smirks a little.

“I’ll have to keep a closer eye on you if you rush into situations like that. Maybe put you on a leash.”

After things are cleared up, he finds the situation a little comical. A human defending a demon.

Luckily, the wounds aren’t bad, or else Lucifer wouldn’t have hesitated giving some sort of consequence to the MC.

Mammon is, unfortunately, not around to witness or intervene into the fight.

So when the next time he sees MC there’s a dark magenta ring around their eye, he loses it.

He wastes no time taking them home from RAD. We know he never really cared for classes anyways.

Unlike Lucifer, he wants to hear them out on the way home.

Although he physically feels himself getting butterflies in his stomach from the idea of being cared for, he clears his throat and tries to push it aside.

He knows that they’re not going to be taken away from him anytime soon. At least, not with his unintentionally vice grip on their wrist they aren’t.

And yet he can’t help but constantly flick his gaze back to them and their wounds.

We were all waiting for this one: he feels horrible that they got hurt because of him, albeit indirectly.

He puts emphasis on steering clear of hotheaded demons— or, all demons that aren’t the brothers for that matter.

“I hear ya, The Great Mammon is a gem that all of devildom should be tryna’ protect! But... You’re better off ignoring that... I mean, look at ya! All beat up and stuff... N-Not that you look bad or anything. Well... Um.”

When MC laughs at him, he’s both relieved that they’re not upset enough to sulk, and embarrassed because of his wording.

So they have to reassure him that they simply find him worth protecting— for exactly this. He cares for them, and is probably willing to protect them too.

As he’s sloppily tending to their bruises, he offers to spend the day with them.

He says its his payment, and that he would defend them when Lucifer found out about today.

But it’s more so the fact that he wishes more than anything to spend every day for the rest of his demonic life with them.

Levi is another brother who is unfortunately not around at the time due to his home schooling.

That’s why he’s one of the last people to find out about it, and he feels guilt hit him like an 18-wheeler.

The injuries are a little more severe, but nothing that would keep someone from going about their daily life. Nonetheless, Levi is demanding to be the one to patch them up.

As soon as MC cuts him off before he can start rambling, they make sure to explain the situation, i.e. “I had to defend you! Or else they would have kept talking bad about you.”

He turns red and covers his mouth, undoubtedly mumbling something about how impossibly romantic the situation was.

But after that, he shakily asks that MC tries not to talk as he takes time to let everything sink in. He still can’t believe it.

So he finds himself shakily asking questions like, “So... You just heard him and decided to-... To defend me? No one asked you to?”

For every reassuring nod that he gets, he feels his head spin a little faster.

It takes him a while, but all the wounds are properly sterilized and taken care off beneath his cold fingers.

He leans back in his seat, and blows out a slow puff of air. “MC... You’re badass. Seriously. I don’t really know what I, a demon, have done to deserve you... But... Thank you.”

The conversation ends with tears, but they couldn’t have been anything but happy.

He just can’t believe someone could go as far as to fight for his sake over a simple ill-intended comment.

Satan witnesses the event. Which... May or may not be a good thing.

MC doesn’t notice him at first. They’re too busy with the demon that has her hands on their uniform collar.

But then they see the green flames licking at their peripherals, emitting from somewhere behind them.

The demon girl in front of them seems to lose all color in her face at the sight of those same flames. She instantly drops MC to their knees, and attempts to run.

As Satan steps forward to grab the female student, he spins MC around with ease so that they won’t have to witness whatever he’s about to do.

MC doesn’t know how much time has passed due to the shock of the moment. It could be seconds or minutes. But when Satan pulls them back up to their feet, he is stone faced.

MC walks stiffly to the House of Lamentation with Satan, careful not to set anything else off in him.

The entire walk to his room is silent. The first time he speaks is when he offers a seat on his bed, nudging books aside with his foot.

He takes a deep breath before he begins diligently tending to the injuries.

“Mind explaining what happened?” He doesn’t sound angry at them, but it’s hard to tell with him.

Satan notices the hesitation in answering, so he gives a small smile. “Are you scared? You shouldn’t be. I’m just a bit... Tense, is all.”

After a moment, MC tells him the reasoning for the fight.

Satan sighs once more and places a hand on theirs. Oh to be so selfless yet still be a fragile human.

“MC... Demons talk. And it’s not always nice. It’s best to just let it go, okay? Well... Give me their name first, but I can’t have you losing a limb for me. Who knows what i’d do then.”

MC can’t completely promise that they’ll simply forget about anyone that talks badly about him, but Satan only gives a helpless sigh.

“What ever will we do with you.” He is much more relaxed than before, and his tone is affectionate.

MC doesn’t know what happened to that girl, and you figure it’s best to never ask.

Asmodeus is preoccupied with a hand mirror, but a circle of gathering demons certainly catches his attention.

He hums, interested. He’s always been one for drama.

But as he peeks over the crowd, his heart sinks impossibly deep in his body.

MC isn’t bloody, but by the looks of it, they may be very soon.

While he’s ridden with shock, a punch lands on their face, and the crowd roars. The yells overtake his own, and he can’t get through the group of people pushing and shoving.

Diavolo and Barbatos were alerted of the congregation of students, and are only just now arriving. And at the sight of them, students scatter like bugs. Leaving MC on the ground and clutching their face in pain.

Diavolo and Barbatos leave MC in the care of Asmodeus while they turn to resolve the problem with the attacker.

Asmodeus is frantic, fanning his face as he helps MC to sit up. He doesn’t know what to do first, does he ask to see the wound? But what’s the point when he doesn’t really know how to treat it in any circumstance? No one has ever socked him in the face before.

So he opts to carry them off to the infirmary, bridal style. All along the way, he gives reassuring words that seem to slightly calm the injuried MC.

“Hey, beautiful! Ughh, the nerve of some demons! I can’t even begin to— Oh right... The ice pack, I’ll get that now, so sit tight, love!”

While he allows them to press the ice to their eye themself, he is massaging his frowning face. All while he seems to be worried about all the wrong things.

“Is this type of injury permanent on humans?? Your face is too good for that!” “That low-level demon... I wish I could ruin his face a hundred times worse than what he’s doing to innocent bystanders!”

MC patiently allows him to vent, because hearing him fret of the most “Asmo” things somehow brought light to the situation and distracted from the throbbing in their face.

An hour must have passed before Asmo actually takes in the situation. “Oh, but I haven’t even asked... What in devildom were you doing with such a grotesque demon? Do I have to replace Mammon in guarding you?”

Finally, MC explains.

He’s less than shocked. Instead, he holds his own arms with an almost sympathetic smile, “Oh, darling... It’s better to talk to Lucifer about things like that... If at all. As the Avatar of Lust, It’s kind of part of the program to get nasty birds twittering about you... Fan behavior.”

MC seems less than convinced, replying with a small, “But...”

Asmo grins and puts a gentle hand on their shoulder. “It’s adorable that you’d do that for me, MC, really. I wish I could just dress you up and show you to the world, show them how special you make me feel! But please. Don’t sacrifice your complexion for a-ny-thing!”

Even Asmo can feel himself get butterflies when MC does the smallest of things for him. But taking care of that face is no joke to him.

Beel is at the gym when it happens, and is the last one to hear about it. The brothers are all discreetly trying to decide whether or not to tell him. We all know how scary he can get.

MC listens to Mammon... For some reason. And that entails avoiding Beel until the scrapes and bruises on your body heal.

Bad idea. Beel now looks like a hurt puppy, and is desperately trying to figure out what he has done.

The fateful moment of realization for him comes on a Tuesday night, less than a week after the incident. MC walks into the kitchen, searching for a late night beverage to drink and also hold against their wounds.

Beel is already there, instantly looking ashamed when he sees them.

“Beel...” MC starts, forgetting that they were supposed to be avoiding him. They stop themselves before hastily pulling their sleeves down to cover the lingering bruises.

This catches Beel’s attention to detail when it comes to others.

His eyebrows furrow a bit, and MC gulps.  There was no getting out of this.

Before completely explaining everything, MC has to calm him.  Because if not, he’d be checking every inch of their body for serious injuries.  And even if there were none, he’d never let them leave bed for the next week.  At least.

They take a deep breath and start with the people poking fun at his soft personality in such an intimidating body.  And then finishing with the plan of steering clear of him to keep him from getting worried.  (you leave out mammon’s part last second)

At first, his eyes are serious as he listens intently, silently going over things more than once in his head to ensure that he was understanding the story properly.

Once MC has finished, his eyes change completely.  They’re soft, and concerned, but not overbearing.

MC felt a bit guilty seeing him like this.

Beel reaches out to hug them, but is hesitant, worried that they’d still be hurt.  So MC has to let him know that their wounds have healed for the most part.

“MC....  Firstly, thank you.” He pulls them into a soft hug.  “It makes me all happy on the inside when you do things like that.” His voice is quiet, but much too unstable.  MC knew that this was a telltale sign that he was near tears.

MC doesn’t hesitate to reach up and stroke the back of his hair, feeling him bury his head into their shoulder.

“Beel? Are you okay?”

“I should be the one asking you that.”

‘you should know better’ is what he wants to say. But maybe they don’t, he thinks. Afterall, when was the last time a human with such limited magical capability was surrounded by demons 24/7?

“I just need you to promise me.” He carefully pulls back and sucks in a breath, keeping himself from imagining MC scared and hurt without him— because of him.

“Promise me that you’ll tell me about things like that first. Before you get yourself hurt, or... Or worse.” There’s another word that he has to stop himself from saying. He doesn’t know how he could handle that thought.

There, he thinks. If they didn’t know before how serious it was, now they did. Hopefully.

The brothers notice that Beel is a bit more normal than the days before, so they assume that things have been cleared up for the two.

Although they have to pretend as if they had never heard about the incident when he mentions it.

Belphie was definitely not there when it happened.

But unlike with every other brother, MC was unable to be saved immediately after having found themselves in a brawl with a low class demon.

MC silently curses as they find themselves limping through the halls of the House of Lamentation.

They’re lucky to have only gotten out of that with an injured ankle, they remind themself. It didn’t seem... Broken. But it definitely needed more medical attention than it received now— A knee-high sock they pulled off of their foot wrapped tightly around a ruler they used as a makeshift splint.

They were sure that the majority of the brothers were at school, so they’d have at least a few hours to figure out what to do.

How would the brothers react if they saw them like this? Would they feel that this was a mere inconvenience? Afterall, this may just be a bad sprain, and now look at them. They can barely limp. Much less walk. But maybe after a bit of rest, it would magically heal.

They decide to head to the music room (?), where they knew that none of the brothers would immediately run into after school.

After finding a stool to sit on, MC hisses when they bump their ankle on the floor. The throbbing seemed to shake their whole body.

“Holy shi—“

“MC?”

A sleepy drawl from the couch behind them causes them to freeze. They wanted to slap themself. Of course Belphie would be sleeping here, why didn’t they think of that?

“What’re you doing h—....” He stops.

MC can already tell that he had noticed the poor job they had done with their ankle. “I fell down the stairs. But it’s okay, I just—“

“MC. I’m not stupid. Why are you home so early, alone? If you skipped or left early, Mammon would have sniffed you out like a dog and be here, too. Spill it.”

If Belphie was good at anything (besides sleeping), it was reading emotions. There was no lying anymore. And so MC simply explained the fight and its causes.

When they turn to look at him, he simply blinks. He doesn’t seem very concerned, but he sleepily walks over to inspect their leg.

He’s careful to support their foot as he lifts their entire leg, checking the swelling.

“... Geez. You’re stupid.” His eyebrows knit together with an unknown emotion. Worry? Irritation? A mix of both? “I don’t care about what such irrelevant demons think, and you shouldn’t either.”

MC is a little speechless, but only laughs. “Yeah. It was a little dumb looking back at it. But you should have heard them, Belphie... There was no way I’d go without a fight, okay?”

Belphie smiles back. “If you wanted to prove yourself to me... There were other ways, you know?”

“Should we get Beel to help us set up the pillow fort?”

“Well, how else are you gonna heal? You can’t get better if you don’t rest with me.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Halloween

Summary: A casual Halloween night out for some drinks between the reader, TJ and Cody becomes anything but when the reader thinks she may have been drugged at a bar. When she calls Jensen for help, their relationship takes a fundamental change...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, drinking, drugging, angst, fluff

A/N: This part takes place after the Jensen’s Day timestamp. Enjoy!

______

“Trick or treat!” said Allie after your dad answered the front door in a batman t shirt. 

“Well aren’t you the cutest little Elsa,” he said. He dropped a few big handfuls of candy in her bag and then a few more. He tickled Colin and got a laugh from him. “Colin you are the most adorable baby Yoda ever cutie and I gotta say...you ain’t a half bad Mandalorian, kid. You almost look tough or something.”

“It’s cause I’m a badass,” said TJ as he stuck out his chest.

“It’s cause you’re a nerd,” said your dad. You walked inside, Colin giggling as your mom stole him away without a second glance. “Nice costume though.”

“Y/N picked it out off some website or something,” he said. He sneezed and your dad shut the door. “God my allergies are killing me lately. Ragweed is horrible this year.”

“I know. De and I have been popping allergy meds the past few days,” he said. “You get it the worst.”

“Yeah but I started taking it like a week ago to build it up. I think it’s helping. Also, a bounty hunter and an adoptive dad? Mmm, peak man crush right there, babe,” you said, your dad rolling his eyes as TJ kissed your cheek.

“And what exactly are you supposed to be? A curtain?” teased your dad as you spun around.

“I thought I’d go another route,” you said. You took off your robe and he went wide eyed. “Soldier...girl?”

“Oh my God. You’re Solider Boy. That is so fucking cool!” he said as he looked you over.

“Jay, fuck’s a bad word,” said Allie. 

“And we don’t repeat bad words, do we,” said TJ. “De’s got some more candy for you somewhere I bet.”

She took off up to the TV room and your dad walked around you.

“What do you think?” you asked. “Look real?”

“Okay that’s like good. Like real good. It’s just like mine from the show. Like even the shield looks the same.”

“It’s from the show. Kripke sent it to me. I know it’s a little big for my back but I couldn’t not use it,” you said. “I took a long shot and asked him on Twitter about it and he just like sent me the thing. He was really nice.”

“Good,” he said as he looked you over. “I am impressed. You guys might win your costume contest thing at whatever bar you’re going to.”

“I just want to go drink,” you said, TJ throwing an arm over your shoulders. “We’ll be back around eleven, midnight?” 

“Go have fun. Mom and I’ll watch the babies tonight. Pick ‘em up in the morning,” he said.

“We didn’t pack bags for them,” you said. He stared at you and shook his head.

“You live a quarter of a mile away. We shall survive without you for one evening,” he said, pushing you both out the door. “Go have fun with Cody. I’ll see your hungover butts tomorrow, okay?”

“Don’t have to tell us twice.”

“Cody,” you said at the bar a few hours later. He finished off his drink and shook out his head. “Can you check on TJ? He’s been in the bathroom awhile.”

“Yeah. Order me another gin and tonic?” he asked.

“Can do,” you said. You hopped off your seat and paused for a moment, getting your bearings before you walked over to the bar. “Gin and tonic and another...graveyard…”

“Graveyard smash?” asked the girl behind the bar.

“Yeah. Another one of those. Oh and a bottle of bud,” you said. You handed over your card to pay, tucking it back in your shorts pocket. You brought the drinks over to the table, finishing off your margarita and the last of TJ’s old beer before you started sipping on the Halloween mixer. 

It took about thirty seconds before you realized what you’d done.

“Fuck,” you said. You pursed your lips and took out your phone, biting your bottom lip before you dialed.

“You better be drunk calling me,” chuckled your dad. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“The guys are in the bathroom and I just drank from a glass that nobody was watching,” you said. You shut your eyes and felt a little off, not sure if it was because of the already decent amount of alcohol in you or something else. “What do I do?”

“Go to the bar and sit there and don’t move. The boys will be back soon,” he said. You tried to move but felt wobbly and sat back on your seat. “Y/N, don’t hang up on me.”

“Dad, I don’t think I can walk over there,” you said. “I’m drunk but...shit I fucked up.”

“Where are you?” he asked.

“Um, the uh...the place to the right of Jared’s.”

“Okay. Sit there. I’m gonna call…” he said as you stared down at the bathrooms. “Y/N. Answer me.”

“I think something’s wrong,” you said. “The boys are taking too long.”

“Cody is a police officer and TJ is tougher than he looks. They’re probably throwing up or something,” he said.

“TJ said he felt funny,” you said as you stared at his glass. “What if it was in his drink?”

“I don’t know but whatever you do, do not leave your spot,” he said.

“But it’s TJ.”

“Y/N I’m having a hard enough time not freaking out right now. Please do not move,” he said. 

“Hey! Soldier boy!” said a guy walking by in a homelander costume. “Nice suit.”

“Can you do me a favor?” you said, the guy smiling as he leaned against your table. “My husband and friend went to the bathroom a long time ago and didn’t come back. One’s the Mandalorian and the other one is a zombie. Can you check on them for me?”

“Yes I can very drunk girl,” he chuckled. “I’ll be back.”

“Y/N, stop putting the phone down,” said your dad in your ear.

“Homelander’s going to look for the boys.”

“Your boys or The Boys?” he asked.

“Should I have clarified?”

“Just...I’ll be there soon. Don’t-”

“Boys!” you said, Homelander wandering back over with a very pale looking TJ and a wet Cody.

“I think your friends were puking in the alley,” said Homelander.

“Thank you so much,” you said. “You’re so sweet.”

“Mind if I get a pic? Your costume is kinda perfect,” he said.

“Not at all,” you said. You hopped off your seat and felt better. “Ah, okay. Just drunk.”

“Hm?” said TJ as you hung up your call and the other guy gave him his phone. “Hey there’s a starlight over there too.”

“Starlight! Come get your pic taken with the Seven, girl!” you shouted.

“She’s drunk,” said the homelander guy with a laugh. 

“After three of those graveyard smash things? Oh for sure,” said TJ.

Half an hour later you were onto another drink and TJ was fanboying over star wars with another guy in a Mandalorian outfit. Cody was talking to the starlight chick who was maybe in a relationship with the homelander guy. They were at least mutually pining for one another if they weren’t already.

“Morris. Come on. I’m drunk and even I can tell Kayla Starlight over there is dying for you to ask her out,” you said. He shrugged and you cocked your head. “Oh come on.”

“She’s been my best friend since I was like four. Like, I can’t fuck up twenty something years of friendship if she’s...how fucked am I?” he asked as you smirked.

“So fucked,” you laughed. “Trust me. I was besties with my husband for years before we finally talked about it. Sometimes you just gotta-”

“Why the fuck haven’t you been answering your phone?” you heard your dad say. You spun around and gave him a smile.

“Is that the guy that played-”

“Walk away kid. Now,” growled your dad. 

“See ya around, Y/N,” he said, Kayla disappearing with a wave with him. TJ spun around and your dad shot him a dirty look.

“What’d I do?” asked TJ.

“You three are glued to your phones yet tonight for some reason, you seem to have forgotten they exist. If you’d read a text then you’d know that she called me half an hour ago saying she thought she’d been drugged.”

“What?” Cody and TJ said, both of them staring at you.

“Fuck, Y/N I thought someone took you,” said your dad. You opened your mouth and he shook his head.

“She’s just drunk,” said TJ. 

“Well thanks for the update. You could have answered your phone,” he said. He glared at you and shook his head. “Don’t ever do that again.”

He left the bar and you slid off your seat, jogging outside, telling the boys you’d be back in a minute. There were a lot of people out for a Friday night and it took a second to find him in the crowd. 

“Dad,” you said. You caught up with him as he walked down the sidewalk. You tugged on his arm and the man spun around, very much not your father. “Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

“Nice costume,” he said and you stepped back into another body, your head swimming. “You gonna puke? Alley’s over there.”

You turned your head and jogged around the corner, spitting up your stomach with a big heave. You wiped off your mouth and sighed, getting up to your feet. There was a shove on your back and you got pushed further into the darkness, falling onto the dirt and gravel. You spun around on your bottom and saw the guy from before.

“Be more careful, kid. You’re tripping there.”

“You pushed me,” you grumbled as you stood up, picking up a rock in your fist as you went.

“You’re on something. You got that look in your eye,” he said. You narrowed your eyes and he walked forward, close enough for you to whack him in the head with the rock. He swore as he fell down and you ran back onto the street, jogging away until you got to a street corner and saw a familiar back of someone’s head.

“Dad,” you said, tugging on his jacket, relieved to find it was him this time. “Dad, there was-”

“I don’t want to speak to you right now,” he said. You swallowed and stared at him, his face hard.

“Dad. I-”

“You never hang up the phone with me when you call me like that ever again, do you understand?” he said. You stared at him and his jaw clenched. “Of course you don’t. You’re drunk.”

“Dad I’m not. I-”

“You smell like vomit,” he said with a scoff. You turned around and saw the man from before hanging back, shooting you a look. “Go back to the bar, Y/N.”

“Dad-”

“Would you just go?” he shouted. 

“Dad don’t. I need-”

“For fucks sake. Just go away.”

You let go of his arm, tears welling in your eyes. 

“Grow up,” he said. You stepped back, watching him walk across the street.

“D-Daddy,” you said. He stopped in the crosswalk and looked back at you, his gaze following yours over to the man. The man saw him look at him and took off back towards the bars when he saw your dad scowling. Your dad jogged back over to you, tensing when you took a step back from him. 

“No one’s gonna hurt you,” he said. He stepped closer and you squeezed your eyes shut. “Y/N. What’s wrong?”

“I feel funny and I’m drunk and I’m scared and I’m scared of you,” you breathed out. “You were gonna leave me alone.”

“Y/N-”

“You said you wouldn’t leave me alone,” you said. You stumbled over to a nearby wall and slide down it, your head in your hands. “Don’t leave me alone. You promised. You said so.”

“Okay,” he said as he sat down beside you. He kissed the top of your head and you heard him shudder. “You’re okay, munchkin, I promise.”

“How are you feeling this morning?” asked the doctor that walked into your room. 

“Tired,” you mumbled. TJ and Cody were there in their own stalls, still in their costumes, your dad out in the hall talking to someone.

“Your blood alcohol content was up there,” he said. “Especially you, Y/N.”

“I want to go home,” you groaned.

“You’ll be discharged shortly,” he said. You grumbled and half an hour later you were signing something that you could leave.

“Y/N,” said your dad as you walked away from the nurses station. You glanced over your shoulder, glancing down until he came over. “We need to talk about last night.”

“No we don’t. We got too drunk. I fucked up. Lesson learned,” you said. You started to head out and he grabbed your shoulder. “Jensen let go.”

“Y/N,” he said, spinning you around. He opened his mouth and you crossed your arms, shrugging him off. “I made a mistake.”

“I had to beg you to help me. I called you daddy I was so scared,” you said. He shut his eyes and you growled. “Look at me.”

He snapped his eyes up, his eyes a little red already but you were too angry to care.

“The only other time I’ve ever called you that, I thought you were dead on that road. I thought...I thought there was absolutely...I was drunk and maybe drugged and your reaction was to get pissed at me, at us, for not answering phones. A man tried to attack me and I got away because my dad told me to grab whatever I could if I was ever in that situation. There you were, the safest place in the world, the safest I could ever feel after something like that happened and you told me to go away. I was terrified and you could see it on my face and you left me. You made me beg for you to help me. I don’t know who the fuck you were last night but you were not my father. You’re Jensen again until he decides to come back.”

“Y/N,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Congratulations. You’re just like every other foster father I ever had.”

He stared at you and you turned around, walking past both TJ and Cody.

“Y/N,” said TJ and you kept walking. “Y/N. Jensen, she didn’t mean that.”

“Yes, I did. Let’s go TJ.”

One Week Later

The doorbell rang and you rolled your eyes, TJ walking past the couch and away from the door.

“TJ, can-”

“Tell him yourself,” he said, going to his office and slamming the door. You glared at it before going to the front door. You opened it quickly, your dad standing there in his raincoat and swallowing thickly.

“Is this about work?” you asked.

“No,” he said quietly.

“Then get off of my property.”

“Y/N-” he said as you slammed the door shut in his face. He rang the doorbell again and you ripped it open. “Honey-”

“I’m not your honey or kiddo or tall munchkin or anything, Jensen. This is me telling you that I want you out of my life,” you said. He lowered his head and you heard him sniffle. “I don’t give a fuck about if you cry. Get out of our lives. Stay away from my family.”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he breathed out, forcing his head up. His eyes were red and puffy, face tired like it’d been that way for days. “I’ll do whatever you want. I promise.”

“You humiliated me,” you said, stepping outside and pulling the door shut. “I thought you loved me.”

“I do,” he said. “I love you so much you-”

“You don’t even know. Boo fucking hoo,” you said. He stepped back and looked small, rain dripping down on him now. “The real world sucks. Get used to it.”

“I made a mistake. Please,” he said. “Y-you don’t have to forgive me. You can...just let me try. Please. We’ve always tried. P-please let me try.”

You stared at him, watching him look down, watching him debate getting on his knees.

And it dawned on you what you’d done. What you’d said.

“Y/N, Y/N, honey,” said TJ. You looked up from the floor of your bathroom, your dad knelt down on your other side. “Honey, look at me.”

He grabbed your face and you felt wet tears streaming steadily down your cheeks.

“What happened?” you asked. “I was on the porch and now I’m here?”

“You were talking to your dad outside and he said you just...fell over crying.”

“Something’s wrong with me,” you said. You shut your eyes and TJ looked around.

“I’m gonna call the doctor,” he said. “Jensen can you keep an eye on her?”

“Of course,” he said. He kept his distance and you sniffled, opening your eyes. He looked down when you met his eyes and you started to cry.

“I’m sorry,” you said. You grabbed his arm and sat up on your knees, giving him a big hug. “Dad I’m so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Please. Please. I’m sorry. I want to be your daughter. I want my dad back. Please.”

“I wasn’t going anywhere,” he said. He relaxed and felt like himself again, your head resting on his shoulder. 

“Uh, guys?” asked TJ. You lifted your head up, TJ holding up his phone. “Y/N, I think I know why you freaked out on Jensen so bad.”

“How would the doctor know that over the phone?” asked your dad.

“There’s a recall out on a certain allergy medication warning people not to take it according to this headline,” said TJ. 

“Why would-”

“It’s not allergy medicine. It’s an antipsychotic drug. They mixed up the pills during manufacturing. Apparently if you give those to people that don’t need them, it fucks with their heads,” said TJ.

“You take them too,” you said as TJ nodded, your dad quiet. “Dad you and mom do-“

“I think we all better go to the hospital and get checked out. Right now.”

“How do you feel?” asked your mom a few hours later.

“My head feels normal again,” you sighed from your hospital bed. You opened your eyes, her hand running over your head. “Did I fuck it up. With dad. I think I broke it. That thing we had and it’s never going to fix back the same way.”

“You were on a very strong antipsychotic without you knowing. We are lucky all you had was some anger and a few delusions. It could have been much worse,” she said. “Daddy’s not mad, sweetie.”

“Mom I’ve never seen him like that. I was so…”

“Wasn’t just you,” he said as he rounded the corner into the room. He was out of his clothes and in a pair of pants and a plain t shirt now, holding up the bracelet on his wrist. “Why’d I have to get all the crying? I would have rather have been pissed off like you got.”

“Your test came back positive?” asked your mom.

“Yeah. So far that’s Y/N, me, TJ, Cody. The younger kids don’t seem to have it thankfully since they take the kid version. They want you to get tested though,” he said.

“But mom’s been normal,” you said as you sat up.

“Well…” he said as she rolled her eyes. “Mom’s been a little...aggressive in-”

“Don’t need to know,” you said. He chuckled and he took a seat on the opposite bed, your mom heading out. They hooked him up to an IV to clear out his system and he took a seat beside you on the bed. You looked down, getting a bump on the shoulder. His hand as on his lap, palm facing up and you smiled.

“Thatta girl,” he said as you rested yours in it. “Gonna take more than some antipsychotics to tear us apart.”

“You are the greatest foster father I’ve ever had and arguably the kindest human being I’ve ever known,” you said. He was quiet and you took a deep breath, looking across the room. “You protected me, even when you were being affected by this. I want you to forget everything I’ve said from Halloween night on. It wasn’t true. Not a second of it.”

“Was the daddy part true?” he asked. “The accident.”

“I expect you to protect me when TJ’s not around. I expect it when he is too to be honest. I spent a long time protecting myself. I was scared on that road. You couldn’t protect me. You couldn’t protect me from watching you almost die. I know how life works and that parents are not invulnerable. They get hurt. They get angry. They make mistakes. They’re human. But I’ll always be your child and on a rare occasion, I’ll need my fucking daddy to tell me it’s okay and I’ll believe him. I’m sorry for hurting him so badly.”

“You are still as ridiculous as the day you walked in your room and told me not to bother with you,” he said, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You can hurt me. You can destroy me. You can ruin me beyond repair. You’re the only thing that puts me back together though. Heals the wounds so I forget they existed. I’ve been broken before. More than you know. I am sure I will fall apart again too. But these small creatures I call my children fix all of that. The girl who ran away, who was afraid of me, she just told me I make her feel safe. I protect her. So I’m sorry but I won’t forgive you since there’s nothing to forgive. You weren’t yourself and neither was I yet you still pushed past it and realized this wasn’t normal for us. Maybe some people fight and some families would have let it go but we know we don’t stop trying in this family. Even when we’re all a little off. I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” you said quietly. He fixed your hair again, playing with it for a moment. He tickled the back of your ear and you giggled. “Dad.”

“Giggles never hurt either,” he said. He threw his arm over your shoulders and pulled you in close, kissing the top of your head. “You’re not that scared kid anymore, Y/N. You’re never gonna be her again. You’re strong. Even now, I know this will bother you for a little while but it won’t change anything. We’ll be even better if that’s possible.”

“You were begging me at the house,” you said.

“Could have gotten that new bronco you’ve been looking at. Sounds like you lost out,” he chuckled.

“Dork,” you said as you hugged him.

“I’m sorry for how I acted that night at the bar too. I’ll never do it again. I promise to not leave your side if you ever call me for help. Not for a second.”

“Dad you don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m bigger than you. I get to force this apology,” he said. “Am I forgiven?”

“Always,” you said. You saw a guy go past in the hall and you went wide eyed. “That’s the guy from the alley!”

“Hey,” said your dad with a smile as you got up. He walked out with his IV, you on his tail as the guy turned around with his doctor. The man looked at you and shook his head. “You’re the dickhead that tried to hurt my daughter aren’t you? I thought that was you.”

“Ew,” you said, looking at the infected cut on his head. Your dad moved forward and you caught his arm. “Um, maybe we can call the police?” 

A security guard at the nurse’s station got up and the man sighed, your dad narrowing his eyes.

“I was only gonna kill him a little,” he said. The man stared and your dad cocked his head. “I’m hopped up on anti-psychotics buddy. I can be very creative.”

“Dad,” you said, dragging him back into the room. “Let the police handle it.”

“I did get a little too happy about fantasizing over that,” he said as he sat down. You rolled your eyes and took a seat, laying back on the bed.

“Am I too big for a cuddle?” you asked.

“Nope, especially not in the hospital,” he said. He sat back and you rested your head on his shoulder. “Where is that husband of yours anyways?”

“I think he’s on the phone with the lawyer trying to sue or something,” you said. “Let him wander the halls and get it out of his system.”

“Excuse me?” You both turned to look at the door. “Hi. I’m Morris Harrison with Richmond...Solider Boy?”

“Homelander?” you said as Morris shook his head. “Uh, hi?”

“Hi. I uh, I’m a lawyer at Richmond and Associates and we’re working the class action against the pharmaceutical manufacturer. I got a call about more cases,” he said, handing over a business card. 

“We’ll be getting the family lawyer in contact with you rest assured,” said your dad. He nodded and looked away. “You okay?”

“Morris this is my dad, Jensen. Dad this is the nice boy from the bar you shouted at,” you said.

“To be fair, I was mentally impaired...and I mean come on, Homelander? Gotta be careful of those,” he smirked. 

“I was actually gonna be…” he said, shaking his head. “Sorry.”

“You and Kayla were gonna be Sam and Dean! Oh yeah. Now I remember,” you said. 

“I like the new friend,” chuckled your dad.

“I’ll see you guys around sometime. Maybe a little less drinking this time?” said Morris.

“Yeah. Text TJ. We’ll get together,” you said. “Oh. I gotta ask. How’d the Kayla situation work out?”

“We have our sixth date tonight,” he said. You grinned and he rolled his eyes. “You’re alright drunk girl.”

“Later Homelander,” you said with a wave as he left.

“He was nice,” said your dad. “Did I really shout at him?”

“Yeah. I think he’s a fan so thank you for being nicer this time,” you said. 

“Well...at least you made a few new friends out of this experience?” he said. “Silver lining?”

“I will take a quiet, happy day for now,” you said.

“Me too, kiddo.”

Three Days Later

It was after ten when you slipped inside your parents house. It was a little dark, your siblings all at sleepovers. You poked your head around a corner, your dad in the kitchen mixing two cocktails together. He lifted his head up, cocking his head.

“Y/N?” he asked as you stepped out from around the corner. “What are you doing here?”

“I know you and mom got the house to yourselves so I’ll only be a minute,” you said. 

“Uh, what?” he said as you walked over and gave him a hug. He returned it and ran his hand over your head. “Y/N. I know you didn’t mean what you said. You can stop apologizing. Please.”

“I know,” you said. 

“Alright then,” he said. “I’ll take free hugs anytime.”

“Dad.”

“Yeah?” he asked as you squeezed him hard. He returned it and you smirked as you looked up. “What are you up to?”

“Can I show you something?” you asked. He nodded and you pulled him with you towards your old room, back to being one for guests. You walked him inside and sat him down on the bed as he watched you. You went over to the closet and turned on the light reaching up top into a shoe box. You took it down and walked it over, handing it to him.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“My dad’s kinda sappy and he writes me these letters,” you said. He rolled his eyes but smiled, putting his hands on top. “I started writing back. I put them in this box and figured one day you’d find them. But I know it wouldn’t hurt for you to maybe peek a look now after everything.”

He nodded and smiled, freezing when he took off the lid.

“Y/N...how many letters is this?”

“A boxful?” you said. “I maybe write them with more...frequency than he does. They are dated and hopefully in order.”

He picked out the first one and shut his eyes. You bit your bottom lip and he took a deep breath.

“This is from four days after your seventeenth birthday.”

“Every time I went to therapy I wrote one. Some are for mom but your names are on the envelopes.”

“Why does this one say dad?” he asked, holding up the first one. “I wasn’t dad for years.”

“Oh we both know you were my father the first day I stepped foot in here,” you said. “I could pretend to a piece of paper. It was safe. It wouldn’t hurt me. I started calling you dad in my head a very long time ago. I just didn’t say it in case you didn’t want me to be your daughter in the end.”

He put the envelope back in the box and carefully put the lid on, tucking it by his side. He wiped off his face with the back of his hands and looked up at you.

“Next month you turn twenty eight. You’ll have been with us for a hair over eleven years. This last year...the accident...TJ and his dad...now this...you’re the adult more lately than I am.”

“Dad I’m almost twenty eight like you said. But my head still feels...younger. You’re fifty one. But you still probably think of yourself as a twenty year old kid.”

“You are learning the secrets of adulthood after all,” he said, wiping off his face again. “Y/N...I have this fear when it comes to you. It’s only you. I understand why. But it’s a fear I’ve lived with for quite a long time. It’s a fear I thought came true earlier in the week.”

“She was a bitch that didn’t know better.”

“Don’t call yourself a bitch,” he said, sounding young, shaking his head. “You’ve always been tougher than me. I put on a good act but I’m...I’m privileged and I’ve had an easy life and even that seems hard sometimes. I couldn’t be you. I’m not strong enough. I’m not strong enough to erase the fear that I had, that lingered.”

“What are you afraid of?” you asked as you sat down on the bed.

“I have always loved you. But there was a time you didn’t love me and it took a while before it was unconditional. I’ve always had this fear that I would fuck up and hurt you, make you not love me anymore and that’s selfish of me. I know it is. But I can’t lose you. It just...I was broken last week. Like somebody ripped part of my soul out and it was gone forever. I’ve dealt with grief and death and heartbreak and nothing has ever hurt like that. The drugs did all that I know but...I would have done anything to get you back. Anything. And this girl, this amazing young woman, she writes me letters. She’s been writing me letters for eleven years. I never had to be afraid of you either, did I.”

“No,” you said. “But it’s okay. Boys are allowed to get scared too.”

“Your parents did a pretty good job with you,” he said.

“Yes. I think the four of them did too,” you said.

“I didn’t raise you.”

“Yes you did,” you said. You shoved a hand in your pocket and pulled out an envelope, handing it to him. 

“Another for the box?” he asked.

“I already snuck today’s in there,” you said. “This is different.”

“What is it?”

“Just open it.” He untucked the flap and laughed, pulling out the sheet of paper. “TJ thought it was cute.”

“An IOU to tag along whenever I’d like when you go out drinking,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna need several hundred more of these while you’re at it.”

“How about like three?” you said.

“I will settle for you calling me if you think you’re in trouble,” he said. You nodded and he rested his head on your shoulder. “Even drugged up you still did that.”

“Well, the drugs didn’t kick in really until that night. Having allergies sucks,” you said. “You get the runny nose and itchy eyes and the crazy stuff. So not fun.”

“Nope,” he said, giving you a hug. “I was totally gonna have sex with mom all night but now I got all these letters to read.”

“Oh God, gross,” you said, shuddering as you stood up. He laughed and lay back on the bed, giggling as you shook yourself off. “I don’t need to hear about your nasty sex life.”

“I have an incredible sex life. Like so much-”

“Goodbye father,” you said as you walked out of the room.

“You don’t even want to know how often if I’m being honest,” he said as you walked quickly to the front door. He cracked up and you groaned. “Night, kiddo.”

“Night, dad. Enjoy your letters.”

You woke up around three in the morning, rolling over in bed and catching a few texts on your phone. You lifted your head and saw they were from your dad, a smile growing across your face.

I read the last letter first. All I gotta say is you never have to worry about me going away, no matter how much you scream and shout. You’re stuck with me forever, kiddo. Not even strong medication can tear that apart. Nothing can. 

Also, for the record, I get to be the sap in this relationship, not you. Box full of cards. Do you know how hard it is to one up that? Do you? Keeping me on my toes kid. I’m sure I’ll come up with something though.

Love you tall munchkin.

“Something wrong?” mumbled TJ. You put your phone down and shook your head.

“Not at all,” you said. You tucked in close to his side, TJ rolling to his own and tucking your head under his chin. He hummed and rubbed your arm, kissing the top of your head. “Love you.”

“Love you too, honey.”

________

A/N: Read the Dads timestamp here!

[blazehedgehog]

was the whole "Sega is gonna localize the RPG Popful Mail as Sister Sonic and make it about Sonic's sister" thing real or just one of those unsourcable internet things that somehow got accepted as fact?

EGM Issue #47, June 1993, Page 53. "Quartermann's Gaming Gossip."

(Due to the way magazine printing worked, this was on news stands probably in May or even April, which is why it says "Toy Fair in June" as if it hasn't happened yet, despite this being the June issue)

Four months later, EGM Issue #51, in a preview of Popful Mail:

Whether or not a magazine like EGM was totally trusthworthy in 1993 is definitely worth debating, but don't think of this as "weird fanboys making stuff up for laughs."

If you look on the Lost Media Wiki, they seem to cite every source for this Sister Sonic rumor, and it was basically something only EGM ever talked about. I thought more magazines had mentioned it, but apparently not, and I'd assume a place like The Lost Media Wiki to be pretty comprehensive in this regard. This was all EGM's story, I guess.

One hole that could be poked in this story: consider the order of operations here. In that very first Quartermann Gossip article, the rumor mentions that Sister Sonic is an RPG. Never once is Popful Mail attached to the Sister Sonic name. It's not until after the supposed letter writing campaign was successful that EGM breaks down and admits Sega was trying to relocalize Popful Mail with a different cast of characters. So who connected the dots between the two games? And how many Americans knew of the original game to engage in a campaign like that? The PC-88 and PC-98 (where Popful Mail originally released) were Japanese computer systems and almost totally unknown in the west, so the game was most likely pretty obscure outside of its native country.

There were maybe a couple hundred Americans tops that knew what Popful Mail was, even less that had played it enough to be fans of it, and even less still that would go through the trouble of writing and mailing a letter (at personal cost; stamps aren't free!) The "letter writing campaign" would probably amount to a dozen people maximum, assuming they even knew ahead of time that "Sister Sonic" was connected to Popful Mail. And across 3-4 references EGM makes to Sister Sonic in 1993, they never tip their hand about Popful Mail until AFTER Sister Sonic's cancellation. So how would this fraction of a fraction even become outraged?

This suggests a missing piece: a Japanese magazine must have also reported on "Sister Sonic" at some point, which apparently triggered the letter-writing campaign in Japan, which caused the westernization to get scrapped. Right?

The only other option is that EGM made the whole thing up.

But that's the thing. This was 1993. The internet definitely existed back then, but it was infinitesimally smaller than it is nowadays. Image support was a brand new cutting-edge thing that most browsers struggled with. The internet was mostly just text websites, electronic mail and forums (BBS) for rich geeks.

People still "made things up" but it's definitely not like it is now. Distributing information was a lot different. In some ways it was easier to make things up because it was harder to fact check, but it was also way slower and harder to spread, too. There was no Reddit, no Youtube, no Google, no Twitter, no Wikipedia...

EGM was a trusted institution. What was posted in the Quartermann gossip pages was never fully verified truths, but for "Sister Sonic" to show up in a preview article months later... that means they had some confidence in what they were saying. Whatever ideas of modern clickbait you have aren't directly applicable here.

And it's not outrageous to think that Sega of America would pull a stunt like this. JRPGs were a very niche genre at this point. Most of them stayed in Japan, and if they did make it to America, they were often dramatically changed to downplay anime influences and retool them in to something "more palatable" to western audiences. Starved for quality CD software, Sega of America might have hoped to bolster new sales of Popful Mail by tying it to their flagship mascot.

It may even reflect the Sega of America vs. Sega of Japan split. There may not have even been a letter writing campaign, it may just have been Falcom (or Sega Japan) putting their foot down and blocking the aggressive westernization of their game. The claim of a letter writing campaign was simply to save face.

It all seems plausible, and fair enough to whatever hopes were pinned to "Sister Sonic," because I'd argue not very many people in America know about or remember Popful Mail these days.