#they all have something so deeply wrong with them

[what-username-where]

I still have never started a relationship without being asked out BY someone, and then not believing them until they repeatedly tell me that yes they ARE actually serious

and then I spend the entire time thinking oh god oh fuck when is the other shoe gonna drop when are they gonna start laughing at me for being so gullible to believe they actually liked me and reveal this was all an elaborate prank the entire time or that they just found me useful enough to put up with and play along so I'd keep doing things for them

Which unfortunately the only people who ever asked me out were a pedo, an entitled manipulative self centered emotional abuser, and a wildly out of control mentally ill asshole

All of whom I got incredibly attached to and planned on marrying and building my entire life around because at least having someone to indulge my highly romantic sappy touchy self would be better than just yearning from the sidelines my whole life and watching other people get things I'd dreamed about being able to have but never thought would actually be possible for me

because there was something innately wrong with me that other people saw but I didn't and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't fix it or even identify the problem

so I had to give up everything I possibly could give in order to make myself worth putting up with for other people and if I didn't I would spend the rest of my life isolated and alone because no one would want to be around me unless I was of sufficient benefit and service to them

Needless to say none of my exes helped that feeling at all

I still struggle deeply with it and have slowly come to accept that my friends are here because they genuinely enjoy me

but I still have the intense problems around romance and romantic relationships and feeling like the only way I'll ever have something close to what I want is by doing it myself quite literally and relying on my system for it

which while being amazing and wonderful and I love my system so much it still has some things that are physically impossible to do and thus leaves me with a longing just the same, whether that's a longing for another body for them to inhabit or longing for another person to be romantically interested in me both of which feel equally impossible

because no other person could possibly want to be anything romantic with me without either not knowing what they're getting into and later wanting to back out or wanting to take advantage of me because they know I'll stick around serving them a feast if they toss a breadcrumb my way once in a while

Which no amount of logic and comforting and repeating positive phrases and reassuring myself "I don't need a romantic relationship to be fulfilled as a person and that's a really toxic attitude to have" has ever really made go away despite my best efforts and years of therapy both professional and self guided

Man if you did that bullshit as a kid where you fake asked someone out to embarrass them or said your friend liked them I hope that shit haunts you somewhere inside now. I hope you know that never leaves the person you did that too. I've been out of school for 8 blessed fucking years and I still do not believe people when they say they like me or are attracted to me. Doing that shit straight up makes you a bad person. You completely destroy someone's ability to perceive themselves as loveable.

[venusbyline]

Out of Love (1/4)

— summary: Everyone talks about how Aegon the Conqueror married one sister out of duty and the other one out of desire. Unlike his ancestor, Prince Jacaerys Velaryon wants to marry both his aunt and his cousin out of love.

— pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Targtower!reader x Baela Targaryen

— type: smut

— chapter's warnings: female!reader, Targcest (nephew/aunt & cousin/cousin), threesome FFM (female/female/male), throuple, corruption kink, vaginal sex, doggy style position, oral sex (female receiving), cunnilingus, fingering, scissoring/tribadism, creampie, overstimulation, secret relationship, cuddling & snuggling, aftercare, dom!Jacaerys, sub!reader, dom!Baela, reader is Alicent's second daughter, mild hurt/comfort, kinda fluff too, canon divergence (No The Dance of the Dragons), porn with plot. no use of y/n, english is not my first language.

— author's notes¹: I'm not a Jacela shipper, but I had the idea for this shortfic yesterday. So... I'm writing for them hahaah btw, don't worry cuz this story wouldn't be a love triangle, the characters are a throuple, the three of them love each other equally, they just have different dynamics between them.

— author's notes²: Out of Love is a mini series involving Targcest, throuple and forbidden love.

— author's notes³: Each chapter will contain its own trigger warnings.

— author's notes⁴: If you want to be tagged for the next chapters, tell me!!! <3 <3

❥ Jacaerys masterlist • HOTD masterlist

❥ about me • main masterlist

You were on Jacaerys' bed for the third time that week, enjoying the carnal pleasures that he and his betrothed were willing to teach you.

Ever since Rhaenyra succeeded to the Iron Throne and the entire family was forced to get closer, you had become almost inseparable from your nephews and cousins — which had deeply irritated your mother and your brother Aemond, although you did not mind so much, because at least you could have some true friends.

Surprisingly, both the crown prince and Baela showed an intense interest in you, something that was wrong — at least in the eyes of the Seven —. You tried to resist at first, denying their advances and saying that you were saving yourself for a future marriage.

All that resistance fell apart when you caught them having sex during a random afternoon. The sight of Baela riding on Jacaerys' cock, her breasts bouncing right in front of his face as he grabbed her hips to help her move even faster... It was too much for you, and you did not even try to hide your accidental presence there.

After that day, the couple dedicated themselves to showing you a lot of sexual things that could be pleasurable for you and would not take your maidenhead — since you were afraid that you would not get a propitious betrothal if you were not a virgin anymore.

On that night in question, Baela was eating you out and Jacaerys was fucking her from behind at the same time.

"Mmm, that feels so good..." Baela moaned when Jacaerys fucked hard inside her, hitting that most sensitive spot.

"So fucking good..." Jacaerys grabbed her hips for more intense thrusts, growling when she shook her ass to tease him. His attention turned to you as he saw you squeezing your own breasts and enjoying Baela's full lips sucking on your clit. "Is Baela making you feel good, sweetheart?"

You opened the eyes and stared at Jacaerys behind his betrothed, who was between your spread legs. "Yeah, baby... It feels so good." The sweet, trembling praise made Baela chuckle, sending a tingle through your bundle of nerves.

Speeding up his movements, Jacaerys slapped Baela's ass once, tilting his body down so he could grab her curly, white hair and push her a little further against your cunt.

Baela gasped in pleasure, because of the rough thrusts and the sweet taste of your juices soaking her face. Sensing that Jacaerys was close to the high, she wiggled her ass again against his groin and increased the stimulation on his cock.

"B-Baela... Shit, love, I am going to cum," Jacaerys' moan sounded like a whimper and he almost felt ashamed of himself. However, despite his desire to cum on your breasts or your face, he remembered about the same fetish shared by the three of you. Then he grabbed both of Baela's buttocks one last time before spilling his seed inside her tight cunt.

The princess hummed at the delightful feeling of Jacaerys' cock throbbing and filling her insides with dense, warm spurts.

The poor boy barely had time to recover, pulling himself out and lying on the other side of the bed, his head aching a little bit from the pleasure. He looked at his seed dripping from Baela's entrance, giving a weak smile and taking a deep breath at the sight of her purplish inner lips.

Lying there, Jacaerys rested while Baela sat up, only to fit her legs over yours right away. A whine escaped your lips at the sticky sensation of Baela's cunt on you, Jacaerys' cum making everything slippery.

She held one of your legs to keep them wide open, lips parted and brow furrowed, a clear demonstration of how aroused you were making her feel. One of your hands went up to her breast, the soft weight in your palm sending shivers down both of yours.

"Baela..."

"I am close too, darling..." She whispered, biting the lower lip as she heard your needy whimper. Rolling her hips back and forth, Baela arched her head back, moaning loudly when your two clits rubbed against each other.

The chambers filled with the wet sounds of your cunts and the ones of pleasure as you both reached the climax. The pace of Baela's hips stuttered, but she kept moving them so she could prolong her high, stopping only when she heard your whimper and realized that you were already too overstimulated.

"She will have to go back to her private chambers in a few hours..." Baela whispered, stroking your silver hair while you slept snuggled against Jacaerys' sweaty chest.

The crown prince clenched his jaw, looking at your sleepy form. You seemed so serene like that, together with them, resting after experiencing one more hint of the pleasure they were capable of giving you. It was not fair that you had to sneak out of there and leave them so soon.

It was not fair that you had to leave them.

Noticing the silence of her cousin, Baela gossiped with a tense tone: "Rumors are running through King's Landing. You know... They are about the fact Alicent is probably considering a betrothal between her and Daeron."

There was no surprise on Jacaerys's face, but rather anger. He knew about the rumors and he also knew that you had plenty of suitors from other Houses, all of them interested in a political alliance. You were beautiful, young, fertile and with your maidenhead intact, besides being a Targaryen princess. Any single lord in his right mind would try to have a chance.

That did not make the situation any easier to overcome. "I do not want this to happen. And I know very well that you do not want that either."

Baela remained quiet for a few moments, her heart warming seeing you and Jacaerys cuddling in his bed, the after-sex smell making her aroused for the second time in that night — though she was not going to say anything about it, considering everyone was exhausted and Jacaerys were quite tense, just like herself.

The last thing Baela and Jacaerys wanted was to have to end whatever was going on between the three of you someday. The idea of you marrying someone, really falling in love with your future husband, or at least being forced to be faithful to him panicked them...

They wanted you. They needed you. They loved you too much to let you move on any time soon.

“I could try to convince my mother and then marry both of you,” Baela raised an eyebrow at Jacaerys’ words, clearly not shocked by the prince’s impulsive decision. He seemed to realize that too, because he immediately frowned, all frustrated. "Do not give me that look, love. I would not be the first Targaryen man to do something like that. Aegon the Conqueror married both of his sisters. Maegor the Cruel had six wives."

"Well, that is the problem. One of them was a conqueror and the other one was a tyrant. It's not like the people of Westeros would accept something like that these days," She did not add the fact that he being considered a bastard by the Realm was already enough of an obstacle that his legitimacy as heir might be challenged at some point. He understood what she thought without her even having to say it, though he did not want to admit that she was right. "Being the next king and queen does not give us the freedom to have our every wish granted, Jace."

Jacaerys sighed, too tense for his own good, closing his eyes and trying hard to keep the mind free of melancholy or angry thoughts. Just as he was about to fall asleep, Baela drew his attention back. "However, we can at least try."

[glowettee]

⋆˚࿔glowettee hotline 6: finding peace after studying.ᐟ

hey lovelies! 🤍i'm finally back with glowettee hotline

abbey sent in the sweetest question to the glowettee hotline about something i think so many of us struggle with. that persistent anxiety that whispers "you could do more" even after you've literally been studying for hours and hours? yeah, i know that voice all too well.

i was literally up until 3am last night reorganizing my color-coded study guides even though i'd already finished them, so trust me when i say i understand that perfectionist energy. there's something about academics that brings out that need for control in all of us, right?

first, i want you to know that what you're experiencing is actually super common among high-achievers. that anxiety isn't a sign that you're doing something wrong - it's actually your brain being a little too good at wanting to succeed. your brain has basically created this false equation that anxiety = productivity, when actually they're totally different things.

when i was in my worst perfectionist spiral last semester (we don't talk about the great midterm meltdown of 2024), my academic counselor shared something that literally changed everything for me. she called it "productive completion" versus "perfectionist completion" and the difference is everything.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ why your brain keeps doing this ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

your brain has been rewarded for being anxious in the past. every time you've pushed yourself to do "just one more thing" because of anxiety, your brain logged that as a win. it doesn't realize how exhausted and burnt out you're becoming.

also? uncertainty is literally uncomfortable for our brains on a neurological level. your organized nature (which is actually a superpower when balanced!) means your brain craves that feeling of "doneness" - but perfectionism keeps moving the goalpost so you never actually reach it.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ practical things that actually help ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

create a "done list" instead of just a to-do list. physically write down everything you've accomplished in a study session. when anxiety says "you've done nothing," you have literal evidence to the contrary.

implement a physical "closing ritual" to signal to your brain that work time is over. i close my laptop, put my books in my bag, and light this little vanilla candle that's only for post-study relaxation. your brain needs these concrete transitions.

use time-based boundaries rather than task-based ones. "i will study for 2 focused hours" is better than "i will study until i feel done" because perfectionism ensures you'll never feel done.

try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique when anxiety spirals hit. name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. it literally interrupts the anxiety pathway in your brain.

create a "worry hour" where you give yourself permission to stress about academics - but only during that designated time. when anxious thoughts come outside that hour, tell them "not now, i'll think about you at 4pm."

practice self-compassion statements that feel authentic to you. mine is "being imperfect doesn't mean i'm ineffective." find yours and repeat it when that voice starts up.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the deeper work ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

here's the thing about perfectionism that took me forever to understand - it's often a protection mechanism. somewhere along the way, you learned that being perfect kept you safe from criticism or failure or whatever scary thing your brain is trying to avoid.

the real question to gently ask yourself is: what would happen if you did "just enough" instead of everything possible? what are you afraid would occur? usually when we dig into this, we find some core beliefs that need updating.

for me, i realized i had this weird belief that if i wasn't constantly anxious about academics, it meant i didn't care enough. which is obviously not true! you can care deeply about your studies while still having boundaries and rest.

abbey, i want you to know that your worth isn't measured by how exhausted you are at the end of a study session. your organized nature is a gift - but it should serve you, not control you.

sending you the warmest thoughts and a reminder that you're doing so much better than you think you are. your anxiety is lying to you about how much is "enough."

xoxo, mindy 🤍

leave a message after the tone…

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[headspace-hotel]

considerations when putting fungus in a human body

what's it eating? Obviously the answer is that it's eating Blorbo. If it's eating his bones, that defeats the purpose. An intriguing possibility is that it's eating his bone marrow, which will destroy his immune system and ability to make blood. That's bad.

Plants and fungi readily form mutualistic symbiosis, but it is NOT simple. In mycorrhiza formation, fungi and plants produce tons of communication chemicals specifically made to communicate with the other symbiont, allowing them to detect each other's presence, "agree" to form symbiosis, adjust their gene expression so they can physically merge with each other, and engage in an ongoing exchange of signals to adjust their relationship. Plants have a deeply conserved, ancient, ancestral set of genes called the common symbiosis signalling pathway that codes for all of these chemicals and behaviors involved in symbiosis-forming, and analyses have consistently shown that the CSSP is around 500 million years old. That means that plants were doing mutualism with fungi before they emerged onto land, before they developed roots and leaves, before they recognizably were "plants" at all.

this is...jesus. it's so fundamental. it fucks me up so much that a relationship between two organisms can be older than either of those organisms having a form I would find recognizable. the fact of their relationship is more deeply embedded in their DNA than...the things that appear to make themselves, themselves.

sorry i always get distracted thinking about mycorrhizae

so basically you cant create a parallel to mycorrhizae with animals because the genetic underpinnings are so fundamental and load-bearing, its not a simple matter of inserting this or that gene, it's like. it's incomprehensible how much of what plants are is fundamentally connected to what fungi are. im not prepared to tackle that with scifi its so huge

so instead you would have to adapt a parasitic fungus to infect the host without causing widespread immune response, inflammation, and horrible side effects leading to deterioration and death, but also without being outright destroyed by the immune system.

mammalian cells are super intolerant of non-self stuff so you'd have to handwave that away with scifi bullshit, but you'd need to have like, bacteria that become endosymbiotic within the cells that prevent colonization of the wrong cells, but then you'd have to make sure the endosymbiosis "takes" within every cell, which...jesus

okay a more plausible idea might be that the fungus bones infection is a one-time thing where the fungi deposit the fibers/materials that are integrated with the bone and then are killed off. you'd have to suppress his immune system temporarily and make sure the infection doesn't kill him. if we go with the "it's eating his bone marrow" idea, he needs bone marrow transplants and might be permanently immunosuppressed and/or need periodic blood transfusions after.

it would also cause a ton of problems if the fungi spread to places they weren't supposed to during that infection process and ended up like. cementing his joints together or something.

dont genetically engineer fungus to eat your bone marrow its not a good idea

further on the character who gets Tortured In the Evil Science Facility. they basically took samples of his tissues, genetically altered them, grew organs and muscle fibers and stuff from the genetically altered cells, and re-implanted the genetically altered organs and tissues into him

That's one part, but I also think he has implants of super-strong materials in his bones and around his ribcage and spine to make him harder to kill or incapacitate. the metal bolts protruding through the skin are part of this

probably some kind of composite of metal and super-strong biomaterial that can adapt

If he breaks a bone the biomaterial can absorb the shock and fix the fragments in place so he can keep going

there are all kinds of materials that exist in nature that could be used to help develop a material that could be implanted into a fighter's body to make them superhuman. it could even be coded into his genes so he produces it naturally.

I also want to do something with endosymbiotic organisms. Plants have symbionts that live inside them and enhance their limits for survival. In a sci-fi story, what if endosymbiosis could enhance humans?

The symbiont could be a fungus or bacteria or something else, it could live in any tissue of the body and enhance a specific function.

A symbiont could help him to heal faster, cause resistance to chemical buildup in tissues so he can do things like dive deeper in water, go without oxygen longer, or exert muscles for longer, resist extremes of heat or cold

Now, the fun part: all of these things will be painful and horrifying to install and maintain, and cause unintended effects on his body that will be painful and horrifying to treat

Ideas...?

[daggerfall]

Between all the Darien postings, I did want to say my thoughts on Gabrielle as well:

In my opinion, Gabrielle's arc from base game to Solstice is a story of survivor's guilt. She goes from respectable portal mage in the Mages Guild, to combatant in the final charge against Molag Bal to stop the Planemeld. She's not some high ranking mage in the guild, she's just been in the right/wrong place at the right/wrong time. She lets Darien flirt with her for fun but plays hard to get. This isn't the time for serious feelings - this is war. And then she watches him vanish in front of her without getting to even confront her own feelings, and watches King Dynar, leader of the charge, die in front of her. She watches these two brave warriors sacrifice themselves to save the day in a way she could not. That is a deeply, deeply traumatic experience - especially when everyone is likely telling you how brave you were for your part in the battle and how happy everyone is that the Planemeld is over. They don't know what it cost.

She spends the next few years doing little but trying to find Darien - scouring books in the Anvil mages guild and making no progress until you give her the note from Darien from Wrothgar. She even joins the Antiquarian's in an attempt to find him (dialogue you can only get if you did the main quest but Not Summerset). But she has to learn about Darien returning and then being lost again in Summerset, again from you. She didn't even get to see him or speak to him or help save the world again. She's been left behind yet again and is following in the trail of the Vestige and their encounters with her obsession. And then she feels responsible for the death of Merric and the capture of Vanus, and has to step in to fill his shoes as the leader of the Mages Guild and Stirk Fellowship alongside Prince Azah.

Look. Gabrielle Benele is not a leader. She is not some legendary, powerful mage with a high ranking in the guild. She is an extremely capable portal mage with experience in war and boatloads of PTSD, and a valued Antiquarian (albeit with some... controversial codices). She's portal girl. She's one third of the OG cov gang. She should not be leading the Mages Guild. That level of pressure on her after everything is insane.

I do not think her crush on Darien is solely why she was so quick to suggest sacrificing herself to bring him back - I think she was struggling and lost for many years. Her life purpose to alleviate her guilt was trying to find Darien; someone she viewed as the best of us all. I feel like it's not unreasonable to think that she may have had thoughts of "it should have been me", knowing how much she admired the person Darien was. I think that hero worship in itself could have fed into the romantic feelings she held for him, and made them into something more than what they actually had in Coldharbour. She's had a long time to stew in those memories and obsess over them. So it's not surprising she would be rather quick to suggest the exchange with the Gift of Death when presented with her own immediate and unavoidable death, and knowing that using it even once would stop Wormblood from being able to use it.

And I think in some way, she recognized that she herself was stuck in the past. Everyone else was able to move on, but she can't. Others may miss him, but she's the only one Still Trying to bring him back. She can't heal, she can't move on.

The only people who could understand are Vanus and the Vestige. Vanus is her superior and now imprisoned, and regardless of your Vestige's relationship with Darien, I think she would feel some level of jealousy at them getting to always be involved in Darien's life. The note in Wrothgar, Summerset, the sidequest in Southern Elsweyr, his ghostly apparition in Blackwood. She doesn't get to be involved, but the hope of his return is the only thing that keeps her going.

I think her sacrifice is far more than just "girl likes a boy enough to die for him" or "killing off woman to bring back some guy". It's a disservice to character to look no further to her obsession with finding Darien and dismiss it narrative favoritism to Darien. It's a heartbreaking conclusion to an 11 year long arc about the only other regular person to leave the Chapel of Light. You got to be a Hero, and she had to just... go on with life. Alone.

And maybe it's not a conclusion! Maybe she will come back in some equally miraculous plot twist. But I think it's important to view her story not as girl sacrifices herself for a boy, but as a story about survivor's guilt and hero worship left unchecked.

[overangel]

I just thought of this while in the middle of sending the ask about hair pulling, but what will happen to the Batfamily's love interest when they fall for darling and how do they feel about their man being in love with their stepsister? Do they know darling or did they find out about her after their bat started pursuing her instead of them?

(I'm so sorry for sending so many asks😭)

-🦇

𝑾𝒉𝒐'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍?

Dick = Starfire & Barbara

Kori understands, but Barbara breaks.

You helped him see that his worth wasn’t tied to who he was with or how he made people feel. Your concern for him was genuine, your observations impassioned, and for some reason your words reached deeper than anyone else’s ever had.

You were right. He had a problem but had been at it for so long, he didn’t know how to stop and who he would be after if he ever did.

He took a step back and saw what he had been doing with his life. He was sexualized since he was a boy and bounced between women like a pinball, leaving a trail of broken hearts and feeling emptier from each relationship.

He was looking for something he couldn’t find in himself, something he was sure he could only find in another person.

You helped him see that he was so much more than a body, a face, or a fantasy, and he fell.

The exact opposite of what you wanted.

Kori understands his feelings completely. Her people are driven by passion, and she could feel his love for you practically radiating off his being simply from your name being mentioned. 

His change was subtle but couldn't go unnoticed by someone who loved him as deeply as she did. He wasn't always "on" like before. Whether as Dick Grayson or Nightwing, he was always being watched, admired, devoured. He was never caught at a bad angle, and he still wasn't now—Dick Grayson didn't have bad angles—but he was simply being now. When was the last time he could take a deep breath and feel his lungs expand and taste the sun on his tongue and smell the scent of daisies on the air? It was when his parents were alive. And now, it's after falling in love with you.

He was less touchy and more relaxed. He took things at a slower pace, and was less compelled to sprint into danger or into an entanglement. He wasn't constantly seeking validation to distract him from the pain.

She wasn’t an idiot.

Kori loves love, and she loves Dick and wants him to be happy even if it’s not with her. You wouldn't back down if she fell in love with her adopted sister either (if she had one), so how could she have the gall to discourage Dick? She wasn't a hypocrite.

That doesn’t stop her from initially wanting to fight you to the death for him, but she doesn’t need to lose a fight to see she’s already lost.

She and Dick sat in a long silence, their faces saying what words couldn’t. 

It’s over. 

It had been over the moment you touched his heart.

Barbara can’t be calm, cool, and collected in this scenario. Barbara could let things slide within reason, and had to get used to the insanity life threw at her at every turn, but this was something she didn’t think she could accept.

 A knee jerk reaction tells her that this is wrong! You might as well be Dick’s sister. She shames him for being promiscuous, and lets loose on all the ways this wouldn’t end well for him.

What? He ran out of options and started looking close to home? (she’s a hypocrite and knows it, but emotions are irrational and she’s letting every single one take over)

So what if you were an adult and got your body back? You were Bruce’s daughter that made you off limits, especially to him (who said?). Dick was just lonely and bored and looking for an exotic distraction.

She belittled him in every way and he just stood there. Staring into her eyes, he was an immovable mountain.  

“Are you done?” She was hurting and she wanted to hurt him even more. He knew this and let her lash out and she hated him for being the bigger person.

“I never knew you were a creep.” She spat out from bitten lips.

“I didn’t know you were so small-minded.”

She swings on him and he lets her chop connect. She kicks him in the gut and he doesn’t dodge. He merely bends but his knees don’t buckle. His face is impassive as if she’s just a gnat in front of him.

He waits for her tantrum to end and for all of the fight to leave her so he can help her crawl into her bed. She's dissolved into tears, and her fiery hair he once loved is a curtain hiding her shame.

He leaves their—no, her—apartment. He’s moving out today. He leaves his key on the table and doesn’t look back.

He’s going home to you.

Jason = Ravager

Ravager tries to hit him where it hurts. 

It’s no secret that Jason pushed people away, including the rare few with good intentions. Especially that rare few. He could’ve had something good with Ravager—Rose Wilson—but it was a different day, same story. Jason didn’t want to let himself be vulnerable. If he let someone in, they’d see the things he never let see the light of day for a reason.

They'd see the beauty, but a lot more ugly, and he wouldn't be able to live if someone he loved saw who he really was and couldn't accept him.

It was a shame. They had so much in common. They both knew pain like an intimate friend, were the black sheep of their families, and learned that life wasn't fair before they could even walk. 

They could’ve been so good together, and Jason once regretted pushing her away, hating himself for once again not knowing how to be happy. But now? He was relieved he had pulled away. It was like he unconsciously saved himself for your arrival.

And because things could never be easy for Jason, Rose had fallen back into his life acting like they had never been apart right when he was trying to build something that would last with you.

She was startled and that rarely happened. He wasn’t the same old Jason she knew. He didn’t run from his feelings, he embraced them. He no longer hid his insecurities with dark humor and one-liners, and now he walked like man who knew who he was and was confident with his choices.

He didn’t need Batman’s or anyone else's approval and even more, he didn’t want it. 

He had changed in ways she thought he never could in his life and she was smart enough to find out why that was.

He had been setting up his scope when she cornered him on a rooftop one night. “Seriously?” She hissed. Her mouth curled into a disgusted snarl. “That’s low even for you.” Jason merely squinted, his mind turning over what she could be talking about.

“Aren’t you taking your daddy issues a little too far? Going after his daughter?”

Jason’s blood ran cold and his eyes, that you lovingly called ‘teal,’ flashed with the toxic green of the pit. 

“Watch it, Ravager.”

She leaned in, “Or what? You’re too scared of women, but your sister’s fair game?”

He took one controlled breath. There would not be a third chance after this.

“That’s not the case. I’m not afraid. I’m in love.” The toxin switched to that lovely teal when he thought of you, “She makes me better.”

Ravager scoffed and it almost sounded like she was gathering spit, “She’s a bandage for the bigger problem.” He could feel her roll her eyes under her ask. "You're fucked, and so is she."

He didn’t hold back, but he didn’t kill her either. They had been friends once. 

“Real rich of you talking about daddy issues.” He knelt beside her battered and broken body and wiped the blood from his blade on the skin beside her empty eye socket. He had removed her mask and eyepatch during the fight and dug in a thumb to completely immobilize her. The scream that erupted from her throat was inhuman and he grinned in wolfish satisfaction.

Anyone would deserve it for talking about you like that.

“She’s not my sister, and even if she was,” He turned his back on her, who was fighting unconsciousness, “that wouldn’t stop me.”

Tim = Bernard Dowd

Bernard loses his first love.

Tim had chosen Bernard out of love, but Tim didn’t have a choice when it came to you. The obsession took root and thrived without sunshine or water. A single breath from your pretty lips was enough to nurture the sprout into a full bloom, its creeping vines wrapping around his heart and mind, forever entangled.  

Bernard thought they had settled into something almost normal like how a relationship should be. He discovered Tim’s secret identity, and shared how Tim let him be his true self too. All of the excuses, why Tim had to rain check or go help Dick or Bruce with something spontaneous during all hours of the day, started to make sense to him.

It didn’t take long for that momentary peace to be disrupted.

He first noticed the way Tim looked at you. Well, ‘look’ wasn’t strong enough. The way Tim watched you. He stared unabashedly with dilating pupils. Bernard could see Tim’s eyes moving, devouring every minor detail of yours and then committing it to memory until he could see you again. You always greeted Bernard kindly when you came across each other, and hardly spared Tim a glance, but to his horror, Tim was grateful for any little crumb and walked on air if you even said “Hi.” to him.

It’s like Tim knew where you’d go before you even got there. So many times had he moved their study session to the dining room or den before you walked in, only for you to turn back and for Tim to plead for you to stay. Bernard watched it all with a sour taste in his mouth and sinking feeling in his gut.

Tim switched date spots to wherever you were and made it look like a happy coincidence (only happy for him). He changed his habits to fit your taste, suddenly craved your favorite foods, and was always anticipating your needs. 

Bernard knew it was over when he and Tim were hanging out in the garden, but Tim had been watching you water the plants in silence, not acknowledging Bernard for two hours. 

Bernard whispered quietly, “She’s your sister, Tim.”

“Huh?” Tim was suddenly brought back into his own body.

“What do you think people will say when they find out? You’re Mr. Wayne’s adopted son and she’s an heiress.” He can’t believe he had to spell it out, but it was like wasn’t aware at all. This was a scandal that rivalled being Red Robin.

No! Tim Drake, wealthy in his own right and adopted son to Bruce Wayne fucking Y/n L/n-Wayne—Bruce Wayne's only biological daughter who was discovered in one of the most shameful moments of Bruce's life—would be infinitely more scandalous to the masses than simply finding out some rich kid was a vigilante.

Tim turned his head and locked eyes with Bernard. Something was missing behind Tim’s blue eyes. “That’s none of your concern.”

“Yes it is! I’m your boyfriend.”

Tim’s brows scrunched up, and his voice was dipped in pity. “Bernard…”

Bernard jumped to his feet and almost knocked over the lawn chair. “Don’t you dare, Tim! Don’t look at me like that.”

Tim sighed and swung his legs over the side of the recliner to face him. “Listen, I have a lot to thank you for,” Tim threaded his fingers together and rested on his knees, “but it’s best that we stop now.”

“Are you really breaking up with me for your sister?”

Through gritted teeth, “Stop saying that. She’s not my sister.”

“Well, she’s your adopted dad’s daughter so what do you think?”

Tim raised a thin brow and the pretense of pity to let Bernard down easy vanished. “I think this relationship’s run its course.”

Bernard’s shoulders dropped and his lips trembled. “This can’t be real, Tim… It could be anyone. You could go back to Stephanie, but does it have to be her?”

Tim’s resolve is unshakeable. He knew that this was taboo. He knew the dangers, he knew the ridicule, but he was ready. He had a contingency for anything that would inevitably come your way and was more than prepared to drag you down to hell with him.

“It can only be her.”

Tim sat back and resumed admiring you from a safe distance. “Alfred will show you out.”

Damian = Flatline

“Then what was all that “girlfriend” crap about on the island? What was that kiss, Robin?”

Damian was a lot taller than he had been on the island when he was barely a teen battling with self doubt and a cowl he may never fit. His shoulders were broader, his gait longer, and his horizons had broadened since you had come into his life.

“That was a long time ago.” 

“Not long enough for you to fall for your own sister!”

Damian almost tsk’d but reined it in, not wanting to seem dismissive to the girl who once meant so much to him. You taught him to be this considerate even to people he barely wanted to spare a glance.

He was young when he got his first “girlfriend,” hell, he thought of Flatline as his girlfriend before she even considered the possibility. He had been some dorky kid in a costume to her, and she had literally ripped his heart out when they first met.

He seemingly fell for her more and more, but now? He was taking back that title by force. You were the only one who would be his girlfriend, lover, and wife. He would scrub away any speck of him ever having been “unfaithful” in his past even if you didn’t know or care.

He couldn’t let anything tarnish his purity for you.

“Emotions ran high, Flatline. We were literally fighting for our lives if you don’t recall.”

“So, now it was a spur of the moment thing?” Her painted face contorted painfully. He had made her feel, and now he was just taking this back?

Damian let loose a ragged sigh and pinched his nose bridge in irritation. “I admit, I had a crush on you. However, I was child." He looked at her now like she was a child he had to explain things very carefully to, "Now, I'm a man, and she's the woman I'll love for the rest of my life."

Damian had been the one to show her that she had a choice. That she could be more than a killing machine.

"And you're just taking everything back?"

Damian's eyes flashed. He was a Wayne, but Ra's Al Ghul's roots ran deep and if you were ever in danger he'd chuck the code out the window.

"I'm not taking anything back. I was always hers from the beginning."

Bruce = Selina Kyle

“You monster!” Catwoman screeched through blood red lips and pointed canines. Her leather whip found its target, lashing at Batman’s eyes before he could fully avoid the danger zone. 

The Cat was chasing the Bat with bloodlust in her eyes, and rage pumping through her veins. He retreated, “You don’t want to do this, Catwoman.”

“I know exactly what I want, you freak.”

She closed the distance between them and slashed at his face with diamond claws, “She’s a child!”

“She’s a grown woman now.” 

The claws drew blood, but he managed to grab her wrist and put her in an armlock. She huffed through gritted teeth, “She was a teenager when she got here. Just a girl, and your daughter! You were supposed to protect her from freaks like you!”

Those words didn’t hurt him. No one could say anything worse than he had already thought about himself. 

Catwoman broke free and flipped to kick him in the jaw, he blocked it effortlessly, and became more serious. He had battled with this crisis every second of every day since he discovered you were the vigilante he had been lusting and longing for. He put himself in more life and death situations than usual, and took risks that almost promised he'd come out maimed.

He knew this was wrong, but he couldn't stop. Did he want to?

“I’ll kill you!” She shrieked, and her moves become more erratic. She was too emotionally invested in your situation. She thought of you and only saw a sixteen year old girl who had lost it all. A girl like you needed to be protected but she was thrown to the wolves in Gotham, and taken by the big bad wolf in sheep's clothing.

She knew how vulnerable girls like you had once been ended up, and the fear that gripped her heart made her fight even harder.

Bruce blocked and parried effortlessly as she began to lose stamina. A strong backhand with way too much force behind it sent her spiraling and landing across the construction site where the late night battle began.

"You're sick." She nearly cried, knowing she couldn't save the girl you used to be.

"Always have been."

[cherrysha]

I’ve matured and realized the appeal of Illumi is just how off he is.

Don’t know if I have any followers from the Appalachia area but there’s this cryptid called the ‘Not Deer’ and most of the time it’s just a deer infected with chronic wasting disease. I had a run in with one when I was a child, I was out hiking and my dog ran off the path which was odd since he was very well trained and going off leash was normal. But anyways, when I caught up to him there was a buck just standing there, staring at me, meanwhile my dog is barking damn near a foot away from it. But it was frightening.

Growing up around deer, you expect them to act a certain way. They startle easily, run at the slightest noise, and if you ever get close to one and catch them off guard they freeze for a second and then make a mad dash away from you. But this one stood there, and stared at me. Anyways, when my mom caught up she yelled at me to go back on the trail and slowly crept up to our dog to get him back on the leash. When we went back a few weeks later, my dog beelined back to that spot and we found the remains. The buck hadn’t moved from that spot and had died where we encountered it.

All of that to say that Illumi gives me the same exact fear I felt in the moment when I encountered that deer. A primal ‘this isn’t right’ type of feeling that stems from past experience and expectations. I don’t want to say he’s inhuman, but he doesn’t bother himself in ‘being’ if that makes any sense. He’s kind of stripped everything away to be this perfect assassin, and in doing so has alienated himself from what it’s like to be human. He doesn’t emote properly, doesn’t care to pretend.

Such a long winded way of saying that Illumi gives off uncanny valley vibes. You look at him and just have a gut wrenching moment where you know something is deeply wrong.

[lilysouph]

The Hayffie-discourse is dumb and here's why:

They're fictional characters, it really isn't that deep, get over yourself. I feel like this is the most obvious one, but I just had to say it.

"but what about Lenore Dove?" Well first of all, nothing about Hayffie ever interrupts with Haymitch's relationship with LD. Lenore Dove is his first love, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve a second after she's gone. Humans are complex beings, and love isn't a pie chart. Haymitch loving Effie doesn't take away any of his love for Lenore Dove. They each have their own pie, and they're even different flavours. If the sole soulmate thing floats your boat, then fantastic, you go with that. Personally I don't want Haymitch to suffer in a depressed drunken haze for the rest of his life where he continues to punish himself for the Captiols actions, but maybe that's just me. Besides, Haymitch having a dead girlfriend is nothing new to us, and idk why we're pretending otherwise. It was always a part of his story

"they have such differing views, her being Capitol and him hg survivor", did we read the same book? If SOTR told us anything about Effie, it is that she's always had a different view of the tributes and games than other Capitol members. Yes she's deeply brainwashed, in the same way someone in a deeply religious cult would be, but there's a layer of her that doesn't buy into the animalistic view of the tributes and games. And that's sort of the beauty of her character and her relationship with Haymitch, that throughout the years she sees more and more the faults of her people. And maybe her ditsy uncaring nature is a façade, covering her rebel thoughts, or maybe it's a coping mechanism to keep from falling apart every time one of her kids are killed, but it could also be just someone learning from their mistakes. Why does that make them unlovable?

"The age difference tho!" What? The six year age difference between two characters in their 40s? Ok let's address it. Effie is likely between 20-22 ish during SOTR. Why do I say that? Cus in BOSAS Snow is 18 and graduating, meaning he would be 18 starting the University. Now, we don't know how schooling works in the Capitol, all we know is that there's lower grades and upper grades. For all we know, stylist school could be 2 years or it could be 4. Where I'm from, in my actual homeplace, it's 2. That's also my headcanon for Effie, placing her at around 20 as a recent graduate. That's a four year age gap, which isn't a lot even at 16, but it's definitely not a lot at 30/40.

Truth be told, I think a lot of the age difference discourse is a lot to do with plain ole misogyny. You rarely see this same outrage over relationships where the man is the older one and the woman is the younger. People have had no problem shipping Johanna and Haymitch for years, and that's an even bigger age gap. Even canon ships like Remus and Tonks in Harry Potter (13yrs), where the likelihood of him having first met her as an infant is extremely high due to Sirius' close relationship with his aunt Andromeda, but ig that's neither here nor there.

In conclusion:

Fandom spaces lately have had a heavy focus on canon-accuracy, and what's more canon compliant. While there of course is nothing wrong with preferring the canon choices made by the author/creator, it's important to remember that a big part of fan culture is and always has been to be able to take the original stories and material and spin off it with your own thoughts, mind, and creativity. The push for only canon-compliant material has become a bit of a problem, and is to be completely honest, something that does not belong in fandom spaces. Hell, you even see this in fandoms like Harry Potter's Marauders, which is entirely made up of fan-made material, where people are complaining that certain characters are behaving ooc when there is no actual canon material on the character.

Now I get that a lot of y'all are new to fandom, so I'll be kind, but rule number 1 of fan culture is "if you don't like it, don't interact with it", it really isn't that deep. Hayffie is probably one of the most normal and common ship dynamics on the internet, and if you think that's "too toxic", wait till I introduce you to the incestuous and 20+ yr age gap minor/adult ships we've all had to stomach over the years. You've got a tough battle ahead of you if the plan is to take down every ship you don't agree with. If you don't like it, don't interact with it. Hayffie has existed for longer than some of you guys have been on the internet, and ships like Hayffie will continue to exist long after you've left the fandom. Life is too short to spend it on actively hating on ships and shippers you don't like. Let people have fun with fiction, free your whimsy and joy and creativity and all that.

[mariacallous]

Wraps are awful. At best, they ruin perfectly serviceable fillings by bundling them up in a gummy, cold tortilla. At worst, they do this with less-than-serviceable fillings. They’re like a salad, but less refreshing, or like a sandwich, but less filling—a worst-of-all-worlds Frankenstein’s monster, an indistinguishable food slurry wrapped in edible cardboard, like the world’s rudest present. They’re desperation food—“the stuff,” Lesley Suter wrote a few years ago in the food publication Eater, “of refrigerated airport deli cases, conference center lunch trays, and the dark side of a Subway menu.” Every single part of them is the wrong texture.

And yet: This month, McDonald’s announced that it would be bringing back its chicken Snack Wrap, after nearly 19,000 people signed a Change.org petition arguing that it was “easily the best thing” on the chain’s menu. The announcement came a day after Popeyes introduced three new chicken wraps. TikTok is now filled with wrap-recipe cook-alongs and clips of attractive young people hunting for the best chicken-Caesar wrap in their given city.

If you are over 40, this might sound a bit familiar. Wraps were one of the biggest eating fads of the 1990s, after a group of enterprising friends decided to put Peking duck inside a tortilla and see if San Franciscans would buy it. They would, and they did, and then so did the rest of the country. Soon enough, the nation’s leading newspapers were running careful, anthropological explainers about wraps, as though a sandwich were a newly discovered animal species. (The Washington Post, 1996: “They’re called wraps—big, fat, tortilla-wrapped bundles similar to burritos but with a wild choice of international fillings.” The Post again, six months later: “It looks like a giant egg roll.”) Tavern on the Green, which had at that point been selling down-the-middle American classics in New York City’s Central Park for two generations, introduced a pork-and-potato wrap. Around the country, as The New York Times wrote in 1998, “tiny stores selling wraps sprang up like weeds.”

Wraps, like garbage cans, can hold anything; for this reason, they aligned perfectly with the ’90s fascination with so-called fusion food, which combines dishes from different culinary traditions. But more important, they were a vessel for the era’s body anxieties. Extreme thinness was trending; Dr. Richard Atkins had recently reissued his diet guide, one of the best-selling books in history. Wraps were—in marketing, if not always in reality—lower-calorie and lower-carb than normal sandwiches, all that pillowy, delicious bread having been replaced with a utilitarian tortilla forgery that tasted and looked virtuous, especially when it was flecked with spinach or tomato. If traditional sandwiches were greasy and chaotic, the province of children and cartoon slobs, wraps were tidy and sensible, the province of working women with slim hips and pin-straight hair. They were fuel more than food, practicality more than pleasure. The fact that they didn’t taste good was maybe even part of the point. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with a woman about this story at a party, and she mentioned that she used to eat a lot of wraps. I was incredulous—until she explained, breezily, that she had had an eating disorder for many years.

Trends are pendulums. Wraps and extreme thinness eventually became less fashionable, but not because they were a terrible waste of time and imagination—they became less fashionable simply because new orthodoxy about how to eat and how to look replaced them. Bowls became the dominant healthy-ish working lunch, and a curvier silhouette—less ruler, more Jessica Rabbit; less Kate Moss, more Kim Kardashian—became the aspirational female body type. Third-wave feminism and its attendant media turned dieting (or at least talking about it) into something archaic and deeply uncool. But America’s golden age of body positivity had its limitations: People were still expected to fall within a narrow band of acceptable sizes and shapes, and they were expected to have a particular body by accident, without effort or deprivation or shame or depressing sandwiches. For a while, the feminine ideal was a beautiful woman with a tiny waist, a giant butt, and a hamburger in hand, meat juice spilling down her forearm.

But recently, the mood has shifted again. Hip bones are jutting out once more from above low-rise jeans. The Kardashian sisters have been talking about their “weight-loss journeys.” Estimates suggest that up to one in eight American adults have taken Ozempic or similar drugs since they were introduced. In the extreme, influencers are building social-media empires by bullying women into cutting calories and exercising for hours a day. Everywhere I look, the aesthetic values of the ’90s have returned, even if the vocabulary has changed: Low-carb has been replaced with high-protein; dieting has been replaced with wellness; starvation has been replaced with fasting. Diet culture is being revived, repackaged, and resold for a new era, and so are the foods that fed it.

Two decades ago, when Subway launched a new line of wraps, they were advertised as a “carb-controlled” option compatible with the Atkins diet. In 2024, when Subway launched a new line of wraps, a company press release foregrounded their protein content and promised to “fuel you up without weighing you down.” The Snack Wrap Change.org petition explicitly cites the wrap’s calorie count, which is typically below 300. On TikTok, fitness bros are bragging about the “macros” on their “XL Grinder Salad Wraps,” and women are posting recipes for 300-calorie buffalo-chicken wraps to a chorus of comments such as “YALL THIS IS SOOOOO FILLING. I LOVE HIGH VOLUME LOW CAL EATING 🔥🔥🔥.” A thinness-obsessed nation is turning once again toward joyless tubes of functional slop, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

[ajeepgirl]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66869350

Summary: During an intense battle, Kara pushes her way through a painful kryptonite forcefield, one similar to what Lena used just a few months ago. Seeing this, Lena has some questions for Kara. Questions that just might help them both finally face some final truths.

OR: A post-show scene to help these two useless love birds make the leap!

Kara sits next to her sister, surrounded by her friends, smiling widely. They are celebrating another victory. They had managed to stop a massive terrorist attack and apprehend the leaders of the organization, hopefully stifling their activities for a long time, if not stopping it permanently. It is a good day to be a Superhero.

But as the celebration carries on, Kara can’t help but notice the glances coming her way. Every so often she catches Lena staring at her. Lena’s eyes are full of thoughts, swirling with emotions that Kara isn’t quite sure she understands. It bothers her. After everything they have been through, all the highs and the lows, she feels like she knows Lena better than ever. But the looks she gets this evening; Kara just can’t decipher them. She knows Lena is processing something, clearly something to do with her, given how often she has caught Lena staring at her. But with everyone around, celebrating with food and drink and games, she can’t exactly pull Lena aside and ask her what is wrong. While Lena is perhaps a bit quieter than usual, it isn’t anything anyone else seems to notice. Lena still engages with others. She talks softly in a corner with Nia about magic, shares a glass of whiskey with Alex, and beats Brainy at a game of darts. To anyone else, Lena is engaged in the celebration as much as the others. But Kara notices. Lena engages with everyone else, but rarely with Kara throughout the entire evening, unless she is engaged with Kara and another person. Again and again, as she talks and drinks and plays darts with the others, her eyes drift back to Kara. Clearly, something is on her mind that she keeps coming back to. And whatever it is, it is causing her to be just the tiniest bit off with Kara.

As the party started to wind down, Lena volunteers to stay behind to help clean up. Again, not unusual behavior on Lena’s part. Anytime the party is at Kara’s place, Lena stays. That’s just the routine they have now. But Kara is sure tonight is different. Something is going on with Lena. And given how close they have gotten since reconciling, she is sure Lena wants to talk to her about it. Kara wonders if maybe something happened with her Foundation, but isn’t sure how that is possible, given the entire team spent the past several days dealing with the terrorist threat. Lena was locked in the entire mission.

Sighing to herself as she closes the door, she turns to see Lena busying herself with picking up various plates, cups, drinks, and other remains of the celebration.

“You know,” Kara says, trying to act normal, “I could just use superspeed and have this cleaned up in a few seconds.”

Lena chuckles. “Yes, but then I wouldn’t have an excuse to stay behind.”

Kara leans back against the door. “You know you don’t need an excuse. You can stay just because you want to.”

The heaviness of the statement hangs in the air between them. Kara means the words, deeply. And Lena knows it. Neither of them knows exactly how much she means it though. For months now, they have been dancing around each other in some sort of unspoken, weird, avoidance of the truth. Neither wanting to risk the delicate balance in their friendship that they had rebuilt since they had their falling out. Both seem content with what they have now. Neither seemingly want to admit they might want something more, a fear of shaking and destroying the balance they have found with one another – a fear too deeply rooted in them both at this point in their relationship.

Lena sits some dishes in the sink, drying her hands on a nearby towel before turning back to face Kara. She clears her throat, anxiety on her face. “There is something I want to ask you about.”

Kara pushes herself off the door and walks towards Lena. “Shoot.” She gives her a small smile of encouragement, thankful that Lena is being direct like this.

As Kara leans against the kitchen counter, relaxed and open, Lena tenses up, her hands squeezing one another as she searches for the words. She starts by stating, “Tonight. The battle.”

Kara’s forehead crinkle of confusion forms immediately. “What about it?” Kara thinks back. It was a straightforward fight. The enemy somehow had kryptonite, which the team decided to check more into tomorrow. But otherwise, it was just a bunch of bad guys with weapons like guns and bombs. Just their everyday sort of routine terrorism.

“The kryptonite,” Lena adds.

Kara’s face just gets more confused, her head tilting slightly to the side. She wonders if Lena is concerned about her. “What about it? Lena, I’m okay, I promise.”

Lena lets out a small huff. “I know�� but they tried to form a kryptonite wall or barrier or whatever, around you.” Kara nods in agreement but clearly still didn’t understand. Lena adds, “and you just walked right through it.”

Kara shrugs. “Well, yeah, I mean, it hurts but I’ve been around it enough now that I can push through the pain. I was able to push through the barrier and run right into the one guy who had the machine that was maintaining it. And so, once it was down, my powers came back full force.” She still wasn’t sure why Lena was so rattled by the battle, but she wanted to reassure her that she was okay. It wasn’t her first run in with kryptonite. It probably won’t be her last.

Lena nods, giving a brief, closed smile before saying, “I understand the logistics of it, Kara. That’s not my question.”

Kara stands up fully, sensing they are finally approaching the actual concern, racking her brain to understand. Coming up empty, she asks, “What is the question, Lena?”

Lena walks around the kitchen counter slowly as she explains. “Five months ago, when I… when I did the same thing to you, in the Fortress…”

“Lena…” Kara starts, not wanting Lena to still be blaming herself for that, but Lena continues before Kara can reassure her.

“You could have walked through it.” Lena’s question is more of a statement, and it hangs heavily in the air between them. Their eyes lock onto each other, and Kara finally realizes what Lena is asking. Kara simply nods once as an answer. Lena stops a few steps away, her throat feeling dry, she struggles to get out the next question. Her voice fades into a whisper by the time she finishes. “So… so you… you just stood there. You… you could have stopped me. Kara, why didn’t you stop me?”

Kara looks around her apartment for a few seconds, thinking back on the memory, on something she tries not to dwell on anymore. During their fallout, Kara had thought about a hundred different ways she could have responded, whether pleading, or falling to her knees, or forcibly stopping Lena, Kara knew one thing for certain in all the “what if” scenarios – she could have never done anything to hurt Lena like that. She had already hurt her enough by then. Her eyes find Lena, Kara responds quietly with a small shrug, the best answer she has to give, “Because it was you.”

“Be… because it was me? What does that even mean?” Lena’s eyes swirl with emotion as she tries to process Kara’s words, trying to understand. She stutters her words as she continues on, still trying to figure it all out. “You… you are the strongest person on the planet! I… I watched you charge through a wall of kryptonite today, like it was nothing! And it is supposed to be your greatest weakness!”

 Kara shrugs again, as she responds like it is the easiest, most casual question and answer in the world. “Lena, I wasn’t going to risk hurting you even more.”

Lena scoffs unconvinced. “So what? You just let me put you in a kryptonite prison? Take a weapon of mass mind control, and walk away?” The tone of Lena’s voice grows with each new question.

“Yes”, Kara answers matter of factly.

“Because it was me?!” Lena stares at Kara, mouth agape, clearly not understanding.

“Yes” Kara answers calmly. Her eyes still locked on Lena.

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Lena finally says, her hand hitting the counter in frustration.

Lena lets out a huff. Kara lets out a small sigh. She hates to see Lena this worked up. Kara knows she could explain more… that she should explain more. But she might also be risking letting another proverbial cat out of the bag. She knows this is a risk she must take though. She doesn’t want Lena to feel like this. She takes a small step towards Lena, giving her a soft smile. “Let’s go sit on the couch and I will try to explain more,” Kara offers, holding her hand out. “Please?”

Lena seemingly lets out another huff but takes Kara’s hand and lets herself be led to the couch, where Kara sits them down next to each other. Lena crosses her arms and leans back, awaiting a more thorough response.

Kara tries but fails to stifle her smile at Lena. “Lena,” she starts, “I love that logical, rational mind of yours. How you try to figure out and understand everything. And I wish I had a logical, rational explanation to give you. But I really do mean what I said. I did what I did, because it was you.”

A slow, heavy breath comes out of Lena. She searches Kara eyes for more answers. Finding none, she asks calmly yet firmly, “But what does that mean, Kara?”

Kara ponders the question for a moment, realizing that maybe it is time for her to tell Lena the truth. Maybe it is time for her to really live her full truth, like she said she wanted to embrace back at her sister’s wedding. She lets out a shaky breath as she starts, “It means… you’re the first person I want to talk to in the morning and the last person I talk to before I go to sleep. You, Lena Luthor, are the most brilliant person I know, and the most kindhearted. You were my person. You are my person. So, it means that I was never going to do something to intentionally hurt you, especially not after having kept my secret from you for so long, knowing that keeping that secret was going to hurt you. And I think that, deep down, I knew that I had to let you be the one to stop yourself from taking that path. And that maybe… maybe we had to lose each other for a while to appreciate what we have now.”

Lena stares at Kara, her mind wheeling from Kara’s words. “I’m… your person?” she asks softly.

Kara lets out a single chuckle, “Lena… you are my person. You have been my person for a long time now.”

Lena’s heart starts to race as Kara repeats her words. She meant what she said in the monologue. She stated it plainly just now by itself. Suddenly, Lena feels that flicker of hope igniting somewhere deep inside herself. A feeling she had shoved very far down into a locked box that was buried deep underground. She feels it cracking open. “What… what does that mean… to you?” Her voice is a hushed tone at this point, every question feeling like a revelation.

Kara reaches over and takes Lena’s hand between her own, both women feeling comforted by the touch. They were always a bit physical, especially compared to their other friendships. That has only increased since they had reconciled and developed an even deeper friendship.

“It means,” Kara says, taking a pause before she dives into her explanation more fully, “It means that I love having you in my life, that I love how we talk every day now, how we have dinner, how we work together in the Tower, how, with no more secrets between us, we just fit together so well in each other’s life. And that, perhaps unintentionally, over these past five months, I’ve built a life around us. And it has made me incredibly happy. My life feels full because you are in it, Lena.”

The box hidden deep inside Lena is threatening to fully burst open at this point. Her green eyes continue to stare intently into Kara’s blue eyes, searching for more. She must be certain. And while that certainly sounded like a confession – Lena knows better than to assume. She might live a softer, calmer, and happier life now that she has been able to live outside of the Luthor shadow. But thirty plus years in that environment does not go away overnight. All the emotional burns, cuts, and gunshot wounds she had gotten in those years have left scars. Besides, she has seen Kara be a bit oblivious when it comes to social things. And while she adores all parts of Kara, she knows sometimes Kara doesn’t quite read the room as well as she herself has been trained to do.

She decides to approach this from a tentative, open, curious place. “Kara, I… I know we have gotten to dive into earth versus Kryptonian customs and cultures over the past few months, which I absolutely love, by the way,” Lena adds with a quick smile; She wants to make it clear she does not want that to end, no matter where this conversation ultimately goes. “But we haven’t necessarily talked about all the different relationship or social customs.” Kara nods, urging her to continue. “So… what you just said, all of that. I um… I am wondering exactly how I should interpret it. You see, thinking about it from a human perspective, some might interpret what you just said as a romantic confession of sorts.”

Lena pauses there, waiting for Kara to confirm or deny.  She watches as Kara face softens into a lopsided smile. “It would be the same interpretation on Krypton.”

The confirmation causes Lena’s stomach to turn upside down and twist itself all around. “Really?” she can’t help but ask in disbelief.

Kara’s smile falters, suddenly second guessing herself. “I… things don’t have to change, Lena. We can keep our relationship as it has been. I just… that’s why I did what I did that day. I couldn’t fight you. And I feared that if I pushed out of the kryptonite forcefield, I would essentially be declaring war on you. On my person. And I couldn’t do that.”

“How long?” Lena barely gets out.

“How long what?” Kara asks, confused by the sudden shift.

Lena adds her free hand onto Kara’s hands, which are still holding her other one. “How long have you been in love with me?”

At this question, Kara blushes. “That’s… I’m not sure, really. I think it happened without me even realizing it. And then things got complicated with the whole Supergirl thing so I just kind of pushed those feeling aside and ignored them.” Kara’s thumb absentmindedly runs over Lena’s hand in reassurance. “Like I said, this doesn’t have to change anything. I don’t want to lose you, Lena. Not ever again. Having you in my life is the most important thing to me. Whether that is as a friend or… or something more – I can be happy with either of those. As long as you are happy.” Kara’s chin drops to her chest as she looks down at their hands, waiting to see how Lena will respond, but unable to look at her as her heard thuds in her chest and her face flushes at being so vulnerable.  

The box in Lena bursts open completely at Kara’s words. She can feel how sincere and genuine Kara is. How much she cares about Lena. How much she loves her. Unable to find any more words or questions, Lena lifts her free hand up to Kara’s chin, gently requesting Kara to look up. Kara doesn’t fight her, letting her head be easily moved so she is again staring directly at Lena. “I think that’s enough talking for tonight,” Lena says firmly. Kara’s face starts to twist in confusion but is interrupted by Lena’s lips on hers. She is surprised for a second, before she realizes what is happening. She responds to Lena, kissing her back, an inhale of breath as her hands wrap around Lena and pull her in easily. Lena chuckles as she pulls away from the kiss just enough, resting her forehead on Kara’s. “Easy there, Supergirl. Take a girl to dinner first.”

They have always had good banter, a little flirty at times even. But hearing Lena’s husky voice after having just had what is the best kiss in her life, with the clear inuendo, makes Kara’s entire body vibrate. Kara closes the distance and gives Lena one final light kiss. “I’ll take you anywhere in the world you want to go, Lena Luthor.”

[otp-after-dark]

PLEASE, please Osblaines read this one — I highly recommend it. It had me bawling.

(God, I hate the Handmaid’s Tale writers.)

I loved it so much I had to share why this three-part fan fic resonated so deeply with me and made me remember why I fell in love with this novel and the characters in it. It brought me back to the real heart of Atwood’s story: the one about agency, survival, unconventional love, and the quiet defiance of building something entirely your own.

Castles in the Air does what the show flat-out refused to do: it writes June and Nick not just as a couple, but as true partners. It builds a life for them that isn’t conventional, clean, or easy but it’s honest, free, and chosen. This fic gave me everything canon took away.

There’s a version of The Handmaid’s Tale that remembered what it started as: not just a dystopia, not just a warning, but a rebellion against every “right way” a woman is told to live. A story that gave space for love that didn’t follow the rules. For women who don’t make the choices the world wants them to make. The show used to be that story. And then it wasn’t.

But this fic is.

Set after Season 3, Castles in the Air picks up where the real story should have: with Nick making a choice. Not just for June, but for himself. To step outside the structures he helped dismantle. To be part of something better. To fight, not just for the woman he loves, but alongside her. And not in some idealized way. This fic gets messy. Their relationship isn’t picture-perfect. It’s strained by trauma, guilt, grief, old wounds, and impossible choices. But they stay. They talk. They listen. And for once, the words aren’t one-sided.

What moved me so much is that this fic lets Nick finally say what the show never allowed him to: how deeply June’s tunnel vision has affected him, how often he’s been asked to sacrifice without being considered, how her choices, even the brave ones, have sometimes come at an unbearable cost to him. And the best part? The fic doesn’t frame him as wrong for saying so. He’s not punished. He’s heard.

And June—God, June—is so well written here. Still fierce, still raw, still capable of burning down everything in her path for the people she loves. But here she’s forced to sit with that. To look at how that fire has hurt the people closest to her. There’s a period of separation between them that just wrecked me but it’s necessary. It’s not melodrama. It’s growth. When they come back together, it’s because they’ve both chosen it. Not because they have to. Not because they’re stuck. Because it’s what they want.

This fic doesn’t just give them love—it gives them freedom. Not the hollow kind the show teases, where everyone ends up in Canada as proof they’re safe. This is a different kind of freedom. One built on mutual trust, shared purpose, and the radical act of saying:

We don’t have to follow the rules. We don’t have to live how people expect us to. We can build something real, even if it doesn’t look like what the world says a family should be.

And oh my god, the ending. I won’t spoil it, but it’s so in line with what Atwood was getting at. June choosing a path that’s uncertain, imperfect—but hers. Choosing love that’s not safe, but true. It’s powerful in the quietest way. The kind of ending where you finally exhale and realize just how long you’ve been holding your breath.

Also, the side characters? Chef’s kiss. Luke is given depth and care. He’s not villainized but he’s not centered either. His grief is real, and his arc feels earned, even as it makes clear that his and June’s lives are no longer aligned. And Beth—oh my god, BETH. She’s smart, she’s direct, she calls June out when she needs it and supports her when it matters. She’s the perfect grounding force in all this chaos.

In the end, it doesn’t just give Nick and June a future, it gives them a choice. And more importantly, it lets June reclaim something the show tried to take from her: the right to define happiness on her own terms. Not what the world expects. Not what a good mother or good survivor is supposed to want. Just what she wants.

This fic broke my heart and then put it back together in a way canon never tried to. Please read it.

[kings-highway]

Impulsively wrote this middle school friendship AU intro for Ushiten. It would follow a week of them working on a school project together and probably be mostly canon compliant with the change of them meeting in middle school. Theyd play volleyball eventually and maybe Id extend it long enough to see the high school days its unclear. It would include both artist Ushijima and mega anime nerd Tendou and also tw for suicidal thoughts and feelings but no attempts just two deeply, deeply depressed 13 year olds finally meeting someone who gets them. Also Ushijima would have a stammer and an amount of autism that might be lethal before he had any decent self regulation. It would be the return of Adopted Tendou and probably a few other things. Anyway why am I telling you this? Because I have a habit of impulse writing the first 1000 words of something and then forgetting about it so instead I've given it to you. So like. Maybe all this will be nothing idk.

---

It was 9:08 on a Thursday morning when Tendou Satori decided to kill himself.

And then at 11:13 that very same Thursday morning, he’s forced to delay his decision due to a school assigned group project.

Now, normally Tendou would not be so altruistic as to care about whether or not he pulled his weight in a group project or left people hanging. No, the reason why this is an imposition at all is because of how he ends up assigned to a group project. He’s not paired up with the girl he sits beside as she rolls her eyes, they don’t draw straws or count numbers. No, they’re told that everyone can pick a partner to work with for this particular assignment, and then they have to make and colour project board on - you guessed it - a type of animal to then present to the class on.

Tendou, at first, is actually thrilled with this. He simply won’t partner up, and then he’ll be dead, and it will be okay. But when the class is wrapping up and everyone is getting ready for lunch, the teacher is suddenly whistling for him and waving him over like a scheming villain.

He’s not even sure he’s the one she wants at first. He frowns, glancing around and watching the other kids file out of the class, and then looking back to her. She waves him over again.

Her name is Kobayashi, and she’s… fine. Middle school biology is generally just fine.

He stands in front of her, wondering if he’s done something wrong.

“Hey, Satori,” she says, like she’s about to ask for all his gold. “I have a… huge favour to ask you. You don’t have a partner in mind for the animal project, do you?”

He shakes his head.

“Great, good, okay. So… do you think you could do me the favour of asking Wakatoshi to be your partner?”

Tendou frowns, glancing behind him to where the other kid usually sat, but he had already left the class.

“Uh… why?”

She seems to hesitate on this answer for a second, before eventually saying: “Well, it’s just that… you know he doesn’t really talk much, and has a really hard time making friends. And usually I help out by introducing him to someone, but I think he’s begun to notice that nobody ever approaches him on their own, and…”

Tendou stares at her for a moment, then glances behind him and scans over the occupied seats in the class to identify and even number of students. So an even amount of pairs.

We’re probably leftovers, he decides. There’s probably something wrong with this kid the way there’s something wrong with him, and she wanted them stuck together to avoid contaminating the other kids.

“Okay,” he says, because what does it matter to him?

“Oh, you’re the best, thank you,” Kobayashi says, clasping her hands together for a moment before adding: “Okay, I won’t take any more of your time. Go enjoy your lunch.”

Tendou nods slightly, and figures he should probably go find this kid to set up their collaboration. And it’s about then, (11:13) that he realizes if he asks to partner with someone, and then kills himself, that would be super inconsiderate and lame. So he decides he’ll wait until after they present.

But he heads down to the school cafeteria and starts scanning the available seats. It’s interesting that there’s apparently another social loser like him in his very class, and he’d never noticed. He’s fairly certain he can recognize the kid by face, but it still takes him a moment of intensely scanning before he notices him. He’s not exactly sitting alone, which is what surprises him. It looks like the kid is surrounded by friends.

Except for that, as Tendou approaches, he realizes that while he’s sandwiched in between two very loud groups of friends, he’s not actually engaging in either circle, and is instead sitting with his head down, peeling an orange so carefully he’s kept the peel all in one piece.

Tendou has to fight through crowds, then, to get to the other side and worm into the seat across from him and between those two groups. He doesn’t look up.

Tendou clears his throat.

He still doesn’t look up.

So he reached forward, knocking his knuckles against the table to get his attention. This makes him jump, and he looks up in alarm, as if shocked someone had snuck up on him despite being locked in on that orange like it owed him a life debt.

Tendou immediately regrets the rude way of getting his attention, realizing he probably seemed like an asshole, and withdrew his hand quickly to sit on it.

“Uh, hey,” he says. “Ushijima, right?”

He gets a single nod back. Well, Kobayashi had said he was quiet. Tendou wasn’t sure he’d ever heard him speak, actually.

“Well, I’m Tendou - we’re in class together-”

Ushijima is nodding, indicating he does recognize him.

“-uh, and we’ve got that stupid animal project coming up, and I don’t have a partner yet, so I was wondering if you wanted to, like, I dunno, do that together or whatever.”

Ushijima looks at him for long enough that Tendou is beginning to get concerned that he didn’t actually speak any Japanese, and then eventually the blank look turns to a frown.

What, did I offend him? Why is he looking at me like that?

“I mean, unless you already have a partner,” Tendou starts. Ushijima continues to stare at him. “Do… uh… sorry… What's happening? You can say no, dude, that’s fine, I just-”

After a second, Ushijima glances around, as if psyching himself up, before lean towards Tendou and very carefully saying:

“Okay.”

Tendou leans towards him at the same time. “Okay as in… partners?”

Ushijima nods, and then looks back down to his orange. Tendou is fairly certain that that’s the end of the conversation and this project is going to be the most boring partnership on the planet when Ushijima splits the orange in half, and offers half over to him.

“What? Why?” Tendou says, not quite able to stop his tone from coming out distrustfully.

Ushijima doesn’t seem to notice, and instead answers the question:

“You do not have lunch with you.”

It’s not a question of ‘are you hungry’ or ‘did you eat’ or ‘would you like half of this orange I’m holding,’ but rather Ushijima has now decided that since Tendou does not have any, he was going to put food in front of him.

Tendou feels a very heavy, hard beat in his heart, and reaches forward to take the orange.

“Oh. Thanks.”

[omniphilic]

hiya soileil!!!! i wanted to ask if you have personal hcs (headcanons) for mark and how you generally like to imagine him when you write him!

thanks for the ask! 🙏🏾 next time if you're not sure how to spell my name, copy and paste it from my intro post or let autocorrect do its thang (fun fact: my name is sun in french :3), but to answer your question because i think about this A LOT.

I like to combine Comic Mark and Show Mark personality wise. Not to say the show version of him is the greatest person alive, but I choose to keep of his poorer traits or qualities from the comics rendition of him to give him more dimension. Overall, I follow the order of events as they occur in the show.

In my opinion, Mark is extremely Golden Retriever. I think he’s very personable, gentle and affectionate with those he loves, but I also see him as someone who can be stubborn, reluctant to change, impulsive, and self-centered. He isn't met with a lot pushback ever. In the comics this is more prevalent, as the only characters to openly disagree with Mark are portrayed as villains or become evil (Cecil, Robot) over the course of the run.

In the show, Debbie has the balls or the sense to actually nip Mark's nonsense in the bud. When Mark tells her to "Make me" after she tells him to come inside and stop flying. When she says "Is this what you need?" she's forcing him to confront that sense of self-righteousness. Amber is another character that does this, when she gets mad at him for 'ditching them' and leaving them to fight the Re-Animen.

I think Amber was justified in her irritation because he is essentially playing in her face, choosing to maintain the lie of him just disappearing instead of coming clean then and there or at any other point before. He lies to her throughout the majority of the relationship when the rest of his close companions already (William and Eve), choosing to leave Amber in the dark. As she goes on to reveal she knew his secret, I can understand her frustration. How are they supposed to be going steady when he's withholding a quite vital part of himself for.... literally no reason. She would've been safer had she have known, she would have never been mad at him if she had known. There were more benefits to telling her than not telling her.

Eve pushes back the hardest before they get together, like right before Omni-man fucks Mark's shit up and she tells him to stop moping about quitting hero work. He's presumptuous about her life, assuming he knows why she quit as opposed to asking directly, looking to follow in her footsteps because he's overwhelmed by a situation he himself created.

Overall, I don't think Mark is a very nice person. Going back to his conversation with Debbie on the back porch, I find it utterly insane he doesn't apologize to Debbie for essentially threatening her, and there are other instances of him not having others best interests at heart so he can maintain a sense of security—a big one being when he ditches Earth to go coddle her over a broken leg while the whole Invincible War is going on the background.

I think his self-centeredness doesn't allow him to deeply engage with the feelings of others, but his persistent, almost pervasive sense of conscientiousness is what keeps him on the straight and narrow for a large part of his time as Invincible. I feel like his sense of obligation is derived from guilt as opposed to love for humanity.

When Mark is around people he loves, or connects with emotionally, he is more comfortable divulging his true feelings. I find him to be both self-deterministic and rejection sensitive, averse to truly absorbing the opinions of others unless he feels that way himself, as well as being afraid of being told he's doing something wrong.

All of that to say... I don't think he's consciously being a bad person, he's just limited by those he's surrounded by, they don't tell him about himself regularly enough to get him used to that kind of push back.

For the most part I think he's on the level, tries his best to be a good person where he can. He has some capacity for pettiness, but it isn't often his first resort. Some of his biggest moments of growth occur when he's learning of the realities of the world, like during the first Flaxan invasion, where he realizes how brutal the life of a superhero can be, but he rarely ever has moments of self-discovery, understanding and reconciliation. TLDR; this boy needs a therapist.

He has nobody to relate to because nobody is exactly on his level, and the people who should be concerned with his emotional wellbeing (Eve or Debbie) and they don't encourage him to open up.

Often what happens to him in sensitive moments, when he does genuinely try to open up (to Eve, when he is trying to communicate what happened with future Eve) he is very strongly shut down, which would further reinforce his insistence on not communicating his true feelings.

This happens a lot. I think the reason is because of bad writing, honestly— Some people (primarily female characters, like Eve and Amber) act as is needed to move along the plot, I believe, but despite this shortcoming in the narrative I chose to just... bake it into his character.

Mark's upbringing (as a white dude who is written by a white dude) means he not only navigates the world differently but is socialized differently than most likely me or you, so he has a different sense of entitlement, a different understanding of right and wrong, and a lack of curiosity.

i think he would be more knowledgeable in his like. mid-later twenties (wait until I make that Dilf! piece with @wingfleur) but he's bumbling for a fair bit of his late teens early twenties.

He's just a loser trying his best!!! anyway this turned into a ramble imma dip out—

[charafansmile]

what do you think of Berdly deltarune?

I like him! I think he's an interesting little guy, and I enjoy the role he fulfils in the story. He's a redditor and he sucks alot but by God is it funny to watch him be a redditor and suck alot.

There's specific parts of him as a character that I think deserve to be discussed (primarily how the character is fundamentally one with sexist beliefs) ..but alot of berdly negative I think goes too far in on the him being sexist angle (he is, but let's be real he's 15 and capable of learning. If we were supposed to think he's sexualizing noelle or susie he'd be written more overtly like burgerpants is). My own stance is that he's a play on the 'white knight' sort of 'nice guy' with the subversion that he's not actually interested in noelle romantically. But does still think he 'deserves' her. Not quite an incel but playing with those tropes.

He is weird and pushy ABOUT romance and I think that angle of the character provides an interesting dynamic with suselle (being that noelle has to learn how to stand up for herself) and the player and kris ourself since we can go directly against what kris wants by saying yes to him. He's basically the annoying team member you can't get rid of that is 'harmless' enough to not really be a threat so much as he is a device for other characters development. (Sidenote, I don't like calling his actions harmless and I'd really rather people not defend him being pushy with romance as him being autistic and not understanding social cues, he's inept sure but that sort of behavior does need to get called out and I hope there's some scene in the festival where he apologises or something.)

Of course me seeing him as more of a plot device atm doesn't mean I don't think he's a character in his own right, I enjoy the inferiority complex he's got going on and his friendship with noelle is very sweet to me. The lightnerds.. they talk vidya games togetehr... As weird as he can be he's just one of those people who you just can't spend alot of time around without wanting to strangle them. Like queen said. Nothing REALLY wrong with him, he's just annoying.

I also think there is a potential for something deeper with his character, and him being avoided because of his behavior does have potential for angst.. but I don't care for reading into it that deeply or blaming his isolation on outside factors that don't recognize the fact that berdly: is a jerk. He's an ass, he's rude, he's self-important and condescending...all of those are the reasons for people avoiding him. It's his own fault. He's that kid in high school who insults your handwriting and keeps talking to you when you're trying to ignore him. You may have a few casual conversations with him and be able to have fun on occasion courtesy of being in a small town without more options, but he still acts like he's better than you for no real reason. It's his biggest character flaw outside of the romance thing and probably my favorite thing about him. Love characters that keep fucking things up for themselves. I think the scene in chapter 4 of the library where he starts spluttering when he realizes susie doesn't want to hang out with him if he's being a jerk will be something that comes up again, if his arc continues. Ideally it'll be something like this

He keeps being pushy with noelle + susie + kris -> they ditch him -> He realizes they dont actually like him that way-> he eventually apologizes -> they hang for a bit -> he reverts to being kind of a jerk again -> they threaten to ditch him -> he realizes his error a second time and then apologizes again -> character arc fulfilled.

Not that he'd be completely fixed, he seems the sort to need multiple lessons, but I think being friends with susie would be good for him? She wouldn't put up with him like noelle does or ignore him like kris does, she'd call him out and stand on it in a way that I think would help develop him...the issue is he needs to get over his crush on her and a few(alot) more beats of self reflection before he's able to be #normal about it. Susie needs more friends too but well.. as good of a friend as she'd be for berdly being a better person I'm not so sure he'd be a very good friend to her without a lot more development. His interactions with her post realizing he can be stupid were funny but I need him to stop flirting yesterday. Idk this parts more an aside. They COULD be gamer buddies...but im unsure of it.

[leona-florianova]

Has to be said, that while I do think that Jack and Stephen love each other vey very very much and that they are in some kind of symbiotic and queer relationship.

I also firmly believe that Jack is just... The most vanilla, heterosexual leaning and disappointingly bad at sex guy to ever exist.. BUT... Hes also deeply bi romantic and so so so friendship-eager that hes dangerously capable to quickly form a friendship/ fall in love with just about anyone who seems nice and shows him a bit of decency n affection... especially if they share a meal with him.

Which...Combined with his inability to notice any queer activity and more subtle advances at all (anything compareble to less than a direct attack with a sledgehammer)...makes him extremely confusing to all the sodomites... and tbh to everyone else too...

Meanwhile Stephen is... Even putting anything like a label on him feels wrong.. he could decide on something else on a whim or when the drugs wear off ... or kick in ... but he seems like some flavour of kinky acespec to me (demi?)...

An extremely secretive acespec whos waaaay more into taking people and animals apart and studying them than anything else (both bodies and minds)..... except maybe the idea of being mauled (body and especially mind... bonus if the person tormenting him is a beautiful powerful independant woman comparable to some carnivorous beast)....Oh yeah... and also chasing a concept..

..

Anyway...

The thing is, if Stephen actually proposed anything....(and he would have to be the one to initiate, because for all of Jacks repetitions of the "Go straight at them", he rarely does, does he? More often He waits and surveys untill they "Go straight at Him")

He would propose it in such a roundabout and awkward way that it would necessarily include at least about two hours of detailed descriptions of mating habits of some amphibians.

And if Jack didnt zone out through all that and actually caught the drift... Hed probably go tomato red and be like "Haha what a lewd chap you are, Stephen. Anyway I have to do something very important elsewhere, excuse me" and hed promptly walk into a door frame because his whole mind would be occupied by some hardcore compartmentalizing.

But if they get to something after that I think it should be only right if it keeps with the theme of the books.. A sort of monkey paw situation

-> Sex so awkward and disappointing they dont mention it again, but Stephen doubles down with his castration jokes/genuine suggestions....But they still love each other.

*i do like when they suffer

[spite-of-artemis]

Quick lil TADC timeline cuz hyperfixation

While we dont have much to go off for a lot of this, theres a few things that do lead to a rough timeline of events for when everyone got to the circus and how they got there. if ive gotten anything wrong or missed anything that goose has confirmed before then please correct me. also obv this is all mostly theories so might change with new episodes or based on how you interpret my proof. while i dont have any proof in universe for specific years i mention, ill be giving specific yearss for thematic reasons towards the end.

Sometime in the vauge past, though judging by the computer and kingers age id guess around late 90's, C&A creates The Amazing Digital Circus for... reasons. It is a virtual reality multiplayer game in which the helpful artificial inteligence of Caine creates fun short adventures for the players to go on. Something in this development goes wrong and during testing, at least two players are "trapped" within the game. Since Kinger has been in the circus the longest and has 7 years of computer science experience it makes sense he worked for C&A and was the first to enter the circus.

Kinger, his wife Queenie, and 4 others enter the circus in 2000, and sometime later Queenie is the first to abstract. I believe this happened before anyone in the main cast entered since the others didnt really seem to know about her.

Based on the crossed off doors weve seen at various points, we know of at least 12 players who have abstracted. Based on the trend of a new circus member entering when an abstraction happens, I believe that Queenie and 4 others all abstracted and were replaced with new players, the next player to abstract brings in Ragatha.

Ragatha enters sometime in the mid 00s, id guess around 06' based on nothing but vibes. She mentions being in real estate and was possibly looking around the now defunct C&A building attempting to prep it for sale when she found the headset.

Slight weird idea, but i think it makes sense. Next to join the circus was Kaufmo. we know very little about kaufmo so hes here mostly because it just feels weird for him to have joined after jax and gangle did. he joins sometime around 09'.

at this point in the timeline weve had Queenie and 6 unnamed players abstract, the most recent two having been replaced by ragatha and kaufmo. the circus currently consists of Kinger, Ragatha, Kaufmo, and 3 unnamed players.

2 of those players abstract fairly close together and are replaced by Jax and Ribbit. This happens sometime around 12' since jax makes the breaking bad refference in ep 5 and that didnt really have major success until it was added to netflix in 2011. Jax and Ribbit likely went in together and knew each other outside the circus like Kinger and Queenie did, but after over a decade in the circus (plus seeing 9 abstractions already) Kinger has become unstable enough to not mention any similarities. Jax and Ribbit were very close.

Sometime later, ill say 15', Ribbit abstracts and is replaced by Gangle, which seems to have deeply affected Jax. This likely caused his tail to fall off as that can happen to rabbits due to injury or trauma, alongside him symbolicly losing a part of himself with Ribbit. Based on his manerisms its also likely that he blames himself in some way for Ribbits abstraction, anger which he externalizes and takes out on Gangle

A few years later the last unnamed player is abstracted and replaced with Zooble, ill say sometime around 18' for thematic reasons in the next point. We know Zooble enjoyed to look around abandoned buildings and likely found the headset inside the now very abandoned C&A building that Ragatha was attempting to sell.

Its now 2023 and our current cast is Kinger (in the circus for roughly 23 years), Ragatha, (~18 years), Kaufmo (~16 years), Jax (~11 years), Gangle (~8 years), and Zooble (~5 years). Queenie and 10 unnamed players have abstracted, many of them within the first 5 years of the circus first being created. its been roughly 5 years since the last abstraction, the longest period of "peace" since the circus first opened at the turn of the century.

Kaufmo then abstracts and is replaced by Pomni. She was exploring an abandoned building and found the headset, putting it on and finding herself in the digital circus. She tries to leave but its too late. Kaufmo has abstracted, and she is now trapped.

To Pomni its meaningless, at least when compared to everything else going on. To Zooble its a coincidence that they both joined right as another abstracted. to Gangle its a pattern and another cause of anxiety. To Jax, its a sign that maybe it wasnt his fault, that he doesnt need to lash out any more. To Ragatha its another tradgey, another lost friend. And to Kinger, its another one who he hopes can find some peace and quiet inside the darkness of the Cellar, just like how Queenie found some peace and quiet inside their fort together.

I dont believe any of the main cast will properly abstract. theyll definitely get close for the sake of stakes and drama, but the circus seems to like having 6 cast members at a time.

okay ramble time now

ooo wow writing out this timeline was really fun for me, i absolutely love it tbh and it became way more then i was initially intending. my initial post was just gonna be "Kinger and Queenie joined first, then it went ragatha, jax, ribbit, gangle, zooble, pomni" and then it just kept growing as i looked through more of the wiki and everything kinda fell into place for me. this is definitely not the full extent of the theories i believe (saw someone say C&A could mean Caine and Abel and i love that. also love the trans jax truthers, idk if ill fully commit it to my headcanons, but i do appreciate yall) so i might make more scattered posts about theories and headcanons, but this is a good balance between every thought i have about this show and the barebones "what order they joined" timeline i initially planned to make.