#they experience a lot of stress as single individuals so it is recommended to have at least two unless you intend to be with them full time

[ssstardust3001]

Developing a species. :> As a treat, I'm calling them sarduict(s). (Literally just put a lot of letters together bros.)

Info under read more

They are desert-dwelling beings that are warm-blooded endurance hunters able to easily cool themselves off with a complex internal system so they could keep running effectively rather than waste water by sweating. They are omnivorous though and can rely on roots and other plants when the hunting is bad. They are also known to sit in the rare rain showers or fog to absorb water through their skin.

Adults of either sex have "antlers" that are for display. The antlers are just modified feathers that serve no defense purposes. They have cyan blood that glows in the dark and are able to change color like octopuses to blend into their environment.

They have a dog-like intelligence (which is disputed, their true level of intelligence isn't fully known) and are a pack species that lives family groups. They are also shown to care for their elder and disabled members, often adopting orphans of their species. They communicate through a kind of telepathy to coordinate their actions while hunting and they can detect the minds of other species which makes them difficult to catch unaware. They communicate through a sort of code over longer distances through their bioluminescent tails which can blink on and off. They can be domesticated and trained to do tasks such as hunting.

They are very good parents and hold their eggs within pouches which both males and females possess. Their young then hatch and are able to use their prehensile tails to hang onto their pack mates's tails for transport if their parents cannot carry all of them in their arms. However, they usually only lay 1 or 2 eggs at a time.

They are able to open their jaws to 90 degrees at the widest and possess venomous fangs containing a neurotoxin to paralyze their prey. These fangs are on their second set of jaws which also aid in holding onto prey and guide food into their throats. They can control if they want to envenomate their target or not.

They have five fingers on human-like hands and five toes. Their toes possess hooves at the tips much like tapirs. Their fingers are quite dexterous. They can use simple tools and weave nests. The male actually initiates courtship with a female by first weaving her a nest.

They smell through nostrils like dogs, however they can also smell much like snakes do with forked tongues and a Jacobson's organ. Their nostrils can close to prevent breathing in dust, and they have nictitating membranes that protect their eyes from sand and the suns of their world. They can hold their breath for an hour if they are motionless during sandstorms and always have a sense where up is as well as the general directions of north, south, east, and west.

They can make rather throaty, yet musical vocalizations to communicate over long distances and even sometimes sing just for the hell of it or to even help calm their young who communicate through chirps. Females can be seen initiating courtship through song, and the male would try to copy. However, they can also mimic humanoid speech much like ravens of Earth.

Their ears are rather long, but are pressed against their body, blending in. It is not fully known why they sometimes hide their ears even if they aren't threatened, however it is suspected that they are incredibly sensitive to sound.

Young are covered in feathers which insulate them against cold desert nights when they are too large to remain in their parents' pouches. They lose them when they reach full maturity.

They are immune to the poison of the le-matya among other venomous and poisonous species, and their blood can be used as a general antitoxin in a pinch.

They are known to come to the aid of humanoids stranded in the desert, and an attack from one is almost unheard of unless it is alone due to being sick. When sick with a general disease, an individual will tend to isolate themselves, but remain in the pack and under its care. However, if it is life threatening, it will use the last of its strength to abandon its pack and wander into the desert to die alone.

They mourn their dead as well using complex songs while burying them in sand. Each family unit has a specific mourning song as well as specific greeting songs. When meeting another family group there is usually little to no conflict and they use that opportunity for adult members to court members from the other group. Males usually join the female's family group.

They tend to be rather illusive and shy creatures in general, but they are drawn to music.

They can also stand completely upright in order to view things easier with their sharp eyes that can see in multiple wavelengths and in more colors than humans. Males are a little smaller. On average though, when fully upright, they are around 7 feet tall.

It is speculated that they could possibly eventually evolve into an intelligent space-fairing species in the future.

Honestly they're like dinosaurs mixed with dogs and ravens that have hooves and pouches. They aren't mammals though since they don't produce milk.

Their facial markings are also different between individuals.

[liesmyth]

do you have any tips/resources for a beginner who wants to get into weightlifting?

thank you for asking!! I love this question. I love lifting! It's Good For You (helps increase bone density & metabolic rate, and it's good for injury prevention and developing functional strength). It's also a really great confidence boost. 10/10 would rec lifting to every single person reading this — if it's an option for you, give it a try.

TLDR: familarise yourself with common exercises. pick a beginner program. follow it. profit!

A more involved answer, with resources and details, is under the cut

familiarise yourself with common exercises

There are hundreds of possible exercises out there to target each specific body part. However, most of those are what's called "accessory" movements, as opposed to "basic" exercises that will pop up over and over in most lifting routines. Ideally, you want to know how to perform these movements, using light weights or just your bodyweight until you feel comfortable with it.

CORE BRACING (ft deadbugs. genuinely lifechanging skill!)

Squats.

Hip hinge. This is useful for deadlifts, romanian deadlifts, kettlebell swings & similar movements

Push movements (for example: dumbell chest press, shoulder press etc)

Pull movements (dumbell rows & many others)

That said. Please don't stress too much over "good form". Each exercise has infinite variations and especially as a beginner, you won't be lifting heavy enough weights to make form optimisation a big concern. All bodies are different and our individual stances vary a lot depending on body proportions, flexibility levels etc. You just want to know HOW an exercise is supposed to be performed, in terms of: which muscles it activates? what am I supposed to get out of it? how to do it safely? Your bodyweight squat doesn't have to be flawless, it just has to be good enough.

BTW, you know when I said that there are hundreds of possible exercises out there? Here is a very detailed masterlist + exercise guide for exercises impacting each muscle group.

learn your way around a weight room, if you aren't familiar with it already.

Broadly speaking: the free weights (bar, dumbells, kettlebells) are good for compound exercises that involve multiple muscle groups. The various machines are ideal for "isolation" exercises that target fewer specific muscle groups.

If you already know what's what, then skip this bit! But I've talked to many people who feel a bit intimidated by the weight room because they feel out of place in it, and in my experience familiarising yourself with the general layout is a good way to take away that discomfort.

And, in case this is something you need to hear: you deserve to be there, you're not taking space, and most gymgoers just want to finish their workout and shower, and won't pay specific negative attention to you. Most gyms have a weight room manager or floor trainer, at least during some shifts, and they WILL be happy to help you. If you're someone who doesn't want to be bothered while exercising, just preventively introduce yourself, say you're new

pick a program

I highkey recommend following a pre-made program instead of just fucking about on your own. Here's why

programs are well-balanced in terms of volume and muscle groups, to ensure you don't overtrain one body part and leave other lagging

they have a built-in "progression scheme" that will allow you to move to a higher weight in an optimal way — basically, you'll see strength advantages sooner

they help navigate information overload. There is SO much information about fitness out there that acts as an entry barrier. Following a pre-made program really helps with that.

If you have a gym membership, you may have the option of one "free workout program" made by a trainer who works at the gym. If that's in the cards, I'd recommend going with that.

Otherwise, I strongly recommend the "programs rec guide" over at r/xxfitness, the female fitness subreddit (the name is 15 years old but it's a queer friendly, trans inclusive space). I haven't personally done any of those, but Meg Gallagher of Before the Barbell is very solid, and that's the one I'd suggest.

get ready for DOMS

Also known as delayed onset muscle soreness. It happens 1) when you go to the gym after a while or start exercising for the first time 2) when you train a different muscle group than usual 3) when you up the intensity of a workout.

Basically, you wake up in the morning and you go OUCH!! ACHEY. That's DOMS. It happens because your muscle fibres are suffering microtears and reknitting (stronker!!) and you will feel very stiff and possibly very swollen (muscles retain water).

It'll take a few days for it to go away. IT IS SAFE TO EXERCISE THROUGH DOMS; the only thing limiting you is if you're too achy to move effectively. I recommend eating something protein heavy (more on that below) and doing some gentle exercise to make it go away faster (walking, at home-stretches or yoga, swimming if it's an option, etc.)

You DON'T want to stay in bed the whole time, because that'll only make you more stiff and make it last longer. Note that "post exercise achiness" is something that WILL go away after the first couple of weeks or so, depending on your recovery (again, gentle exercise and/or going to the gym again when you're still a bit achey is actually preferred than being completely at rest until they're fully gone away). Long term, you're NOT supposed to feel high-level soreness after working out. "No pain no gain" is mostly bullshit.

evaluate your program!

I'm always saying this, but the best exercise is the one you actually stick with. If your exercise plan is dull or fills you with dread, it doesn't matter how good for you it supposedly is — ditch it. Give yourself a few weeks of whatever program you pick, then re-evaluate: what are your favourite exercises you've done so far? Which ones you don't like? What would you like to do? Programs can and should be modified according to your preferences, and it's a lot easier to customise something that works for YOU once you're a bit more familiar with everything. For example, maybe someone at your gym is doing kettlebell swings and you think it's cool and you'd rather do those instead of crunches for your abs. Why not. Just note down what's working and what isn't, and then re-evaluate (with gym trainers if that's an option, but also, I mean it, HMU whenever).

odds and ends!!

None of these things are a big deal, but they make your life easier:

Hydrate during a workout. If you're hydrated your body works better. You'll also probably sweat during your workout. Getting through 1L of water during a 1 hour / 1 hour and a half gym session is perfectly normal.

Warm up before lifting. Something like this for a general body warmup + lighter warm-up series before going up to the weight you actually want to lift. For example: if you're squatting the bar (20kg) I'd do one bodyweight squats series, and another series holding a 10kg kettlebell or dumbell. Cool down or stretch after!

Mobility work on a day off is a good idea, even if you're no longer suffering through soreness. This is my current go-to routine, I do it about 2x week.

If possible, eat protein the evening / day after a workout. Protein is great for building muscle, and you WILL see a noticeable difference in energy level and speed of recovery by upping your protein intake. Basically: if you usually eat lentils or fish twice a week, try to make one of those times your post-gym dinner.

(In general, as a beginner you WILL see results regardless, and you don't need to optimise nutrition or anything (not to mention, it can be overwhelming / complicated to deal with.) But if you're interested in the specifics of nutrition & exercise, HMU)

keep track of your workouts! I really recommend this; it can be very inspiring to have a backlog you can look at when you want to track your progress, and you want to establish a benchmark with yourself. It can be as simple as writing down gym days & numbers in your journal if you have one; personally I use the Strong app to save my routines, and every week when I log in new workouts I modify the values depending on what weight and # of reps I hit that week. For reference, this is what a week looks like on the Strong app for me

IF I'VE MISSED ANYTHING SHOOT ME AN ASK.

[thepowerisyouth]

MONEY / FINANCE STRESS CONTENT WARNING, this next line is unfortunately quite stressful about money so this was an important warning for me to add:

This is also less for the random strangers on the internet who have no reason to trust my advice but more for the 10-15 people I know personally who trust my money advice based on prior experience and Ive sent them my blog link in the last month or two

US stock market is about to tank. On a global perspective its stupidly overpriced because markets like China are hitting 5 year lows (as in we've increased our stock market over 2x since "COVID lows", but their market is even lower than it was then.

Timing is hard but it is entirely possible yesterday was the peak of the market. Might also not tank for 6 months.

Market psychology is fucking weird tho so please absolutely dont 'short' anything, which is basically the same as 'buying puts'. Michael Burry nearly bankrupted all his friends, family, and random investors by insisting on 'shorting' things based on knowledge of impending crisis.

Just sell everything. I mean literally everything. Bond etfs might go up but youd have to have eyes glued to the charts to sell in time. Gold wont do, neither will bitcoin. Their negative correlation to stocks isnt really a thing anymore.

Get every etf, stock, whatever into cash in the brokerage account, then move it out of the banks/brokerage firms and into something physically in front of you because we are, in fact, in another 'historical period of bank runs' its just not quite at the peak yet.

Not trying to increase anxiety beyond nessecary-- its just that any, single bank can immediately freeze your money-- leaving it up to the Federal Government to pay you back-- and it might possibly be the case that youd have to rely on whats called a "bank bail in" to see your savings again.

Not a fun situation to be in, even if it wont happen to most people its just safe practice to do this during a "historical period of bank runs"

----------------

This blog is basically my diary of my thoughts (suprise suprise). But Im an open book, privileged (but poor) little white boy with complex societal/generational abuse and very little home problems so lets fucking go theres a whole mormon cargo van to unpack

Definitely recommend tags Im terrible at them.

---

To those reading this, if you have ever met me in real-life or on the internet than you have taught me varying degrees of information which can be randomly retrieved by my brain at any time depending on current CPU performance. Thoughts of my loving husband have occupied my headspace probably 95% of my time since 14 so he has absolutely taught me at least 100x more than anyone else in the world.

When I say "I", oftentimes Im thinking about "me and my husband", or even sometimes "me and my friends/family", or even sometimes "me and society"--- but I am not always 100% aware of the current headspace environment and/or beliefs of the minds of those around me without feedback

---

There are currently over 8 billion individual varieties of the global human language spoken within the mind. Lets start translating them all. Misunderstood words become mean labels.

I fucking hate mean labels

"Math wiz" = racism and/or classism and/or gender shit. Fuck that shit

When a person is niched off into one part of an 8 billion population human society, it becomes impossible to not "live in a bubble". Bubbles change in size constantly even if not visibly observed. Bubbles can be different sizes depending on your current day-to-day thoughts of your own society. Bubbles must pop. Enlightenment implies life only gets better the more times ya pop and lock it

My path away from purely mathematics, logic, and scientific theory began when I met my husband, and for the first time in my life it became important to me not to be an asshole to everyone around me

Ive been told (only after I started dating my traumatized husband tho and helped him heal a lot) that I'm a natural communicator-- and all my life I found myself listening and learning to everything and everyone around me trying to understand both their and my own motivations-- then I like to garble them up and spit 'em out. My memory recall ability is wonky tho and fluctuates highly with nutrient intake-- I'll get into that later

I wish I could have a million years to read every blog on tumblr. I really do. Connecting & communating is extremely important for understanding one another but it takes time

I had an extremely unique childhood (who hasnt lol), enough so to isolate myself quite a lot through sheer dumb luck. My mom is also everyone's favorite school teacher so of course I was learning a lot from a young age. Luckily I glued myself to the first person who wanted to glue themselves to me equally & we grew exponentially closer to eternity

If its still not clear: my husband and I are bored and love chatting with people, but like most internet loving freaks my mouth don't work sometimes well but my fingies do. My ears got fluff a lot but I got eyes for LEDs like a hawk. Wish they werent LED tho

I also have a naturally short sleep cycle (i.e. extra time for this), and I really wont be offended or weirded out by someone reading through and liking 20+ or whatever of my posts at once randomly. Stories are supposed to be read in chunks, and I think of this blog as a story & also workspace for my thoughts that Id love to see which chapters everyone has read through. Also I love (and only respond positively to) positive feedback, yet also suggestions for ways to improve my "theorums". As in, good faith discussions are totally welcome on any post.

For my 50 year old parents reading my blog so lovingly in their limited evening time-- you can sort by tags to see what topics your familiar with, if you play around with the search function while on my page. Mom. Show dad how to do it

In the very, very bottom of my blog I dont even think I managed to tag shit properly-- but its the roughdraft workings of the philosophy, as well as my own logical framework for answering lifes questions. Its 2 months ago so I might not even be writing according to my own works down there anymore idk I change fast sometimes

Last thing for now here is that I was always criticized by teachers for not showing my work, and for not reviewing my tests before turning in, and I pushed back hard because nearly every time I went over and corrected a mistake-- I saw I most often got it right the first fucking time on a pure hunch. I act on impulse when I'm not meditating mostly for efficiency purposes because I believe I'm correct, but remain open to emotionally positive feedback so I can help remove all doubt.

-------

This might turn into my 'life story' post, as its already going there. Heres what I have so far in the way of my knowledge of my family before I was brought into existence, and my "earliest memories":

Family context:

I dont know jack shit. Nobody talks about it at all.

Here's my own observations Ive made using the framework and perceptive filters I was given--

My whole family is white Texans.

Ancestory is slaveowners of course, further back is a very likely direct parent-child descendent line from the most famous inbred british royalty of the 13th century i.e. King John, whose brother was the arab genociding Richard.

I would call my immediate family as upper poverty class. Its more like poverty with extra privileges cause mental health stigma was the only thing holding them back not other shit too.

As children we had a lot of very privileged opportunities because my parents made a lot of sacrifices to try and bring us back up the class ladder. Lets look into that generational trauma issue

My dads parents (born in the early 40s, dont know the year exactly. I think '43 or '44) were more upper middle class, pretty high income. Owned an insurance business that was very successful by the early 2000s at least. My grandpa is described to me as a "monster" and "violently abusive". I have a single memory of him screaming at me as a young child and I was cowering under a desk, so I really believe it. No other stories at all to provide context.

-- I gotta split this section off I realized I wrote the next thing about post-me context Ill need to move this part lower down later--

My grandpa got early onset dementia, my dad didnt notice in time, and my grandpa bankrupted his successful company and lost several million of dollars to "scammers and sexy ladies."

My dad found out around 2015-16 or so. He told me a little bit after telling me my grandparents were getting divorced. My dad managed to scrape together about $200,000 which is being sued for by the IRS actively.

(He split that money in two, and entrusted me tell him how to invest half in safe value stocks that I handpicked as well as a calculated risk allocation to bonds which we sold for 30% profit the second the market crashed. He gave the other half to a brokerage advisor. I never met the advisor but saw the results. Dont get me started on how the other dude did with that money-- we started this endeavor in January 2020.)

Personally I also dont believe that its possible to spend an entire fortune on scammers and strippers, so Id love to see his books and figure out what the hell went wrong with that asshole. I have a hunch I know something more than anyone else ("Enron", guys, we're talking about an insurance company in HOUSTON, in the 2000s) but I will never be sure without the books.

----

Back to other family--

I do not know a single thing about my grandma on my dads side. She raised me quite a lot, but yeah I literally have only heard her life described to me as "she was a housewife"

On my moms side, my Mimi (also born 1940s but slightly younger so I think 1946 or 1947) came from a divorced, upper middle class family. In 1964-65, She and her step mom both got knocked up the same year so she watched her divorced dad remarry to said step mom when she was 18-19 and getting a shotgun marriage herself, so you can imagine what that was like. The "biological" of the two moms was a very good mom and very queer from what I hear. She died when I was a baby, from lung cancer. Thats all I know. My mimi raised me quite a lot, nearly equally as much as my mom did

My mom's dad, my Papa, came from a rural farming family in East Texas. Dont know much else of anything, but he and his siblings were named "Billy, Bobby, and Betty". As in, they are what everyone likes to call "hicks"

--

Moving onto my direct parents now. I know a little more about them of course, but since we're getting closer in age to the present-- I think itll be easier to describe my understanding as common stereotypes. If its unclear what I mean definitely feel free to ask, but I'll probably say "I dont really know"

Not much else is relevant other than knowing that my moms family was the mormon one, but that as soon as my dad was love-bombed by the church he joined to. Mormons were also different in the 90s I'm told.

My dad struggled with being one of the "crazy schizos" of the 90s. As in, very traumatized, upset, and gaslit by the government and his parents. Must have done a damn good job dealing with it by the time he was in his late 20s and I popped out cause he was never a "bad dad" to me at all. Definitely yelled and was more angry at times, but less than any other friends parents Ive ever met, and from what I remember he came into my room at night and apologized to me literally every single time within like 5-10 minutes. I know pretty much nothing about him pre-me. He was a tradesman my whole life and specialized in remodeling kitchens & bathrooms (the 'dirty work of construction'). All his initial clientele were the rich people my grandma lived near and was friends with.

My mom would have been extremely queer-presenting and posting on tumblr if born in the year 2000, but was born in early 70s, and was a raegan teen in high-school in Texas during the satanic panic-- she presents completely cis, straight, but has body dysmorphia issues. Thats about you need to know about those issues I'm sure my tumblr folks can assume the rest and be perfectly correct. Cause thats about all I know too and I'm assuming the rest about my own mother

--- Earliest memories

I think a lot of people face doubt about their own earliest memories, maybe hearing the way I connect the images of these events in my head to my emotions I felt will help others do the same.

----

Two disclosers about me & my current healthcare discoveries before moving on

1) My only "major" childhood trauma is loneliness. I have a partner now (started dating early high school, nearing 10 years together now) who was just as lonely and we are glued to each others side constantly, and have made our life work great that way. So don't feel too bad reading this, I'm only able to write it down because Ive healed that trauma and can dig this stuff up with no issues to validate the emotions I felt even as a child

1) I believe I have a genetic trait that is only just getting discovered. There are something like 6 discovered mutations that hold this similar trait so far, and its just basically chronic insomia.

It being a genetic trait tracks with how my mom describes me as never settling into a normal sleep pattern at 6 months old, having absurd amounts of nightmares and death anxiety keeping me up at night as a child, and I still dont sleep at any given time. I average 2 hours less sleep than my husband, who averages 7-8 now that he isnt actively being abused at home.

Going to get sequenced but even if negative I'd probably just be a 7th mutation, as they only found the other 6 genes via case study.

The scientists whove discovered it call it "Familial Natural Short Sleeper", if you desire to look it up. They describe the trait like its the best possible thing in the world. Well... terminally chronic insomia is not the best thing in THIS world thats for sure.

---------

My "earliest memories"

These arent ranked by time accurately of course. Took enough effort digging through my brain to turn them up, not like Ive got a 2003 calendar stuffed in here as well.

I did do my best to sort by first memory but it also might be sorted by the order at which I recovered the memories as being one of my "earliest" when I was a child and asked such things

1. Pure emptiness. I can only describe it as dissociation. I can remember nothing about the environment around me, except feeling suddenly sucked out of it, seeing only darkness, feeling almost a ringing in my ears and the deepest dread possible. This same feeling followed me in life for a little while, but started to take more visual shape when I was an adolescent, until at some point I would see myself sitting in a chair alone in a room that is infinitely sized but that slowly gets darker the further out you go. I cant remember what exact "real-world" event caused this feeling to ever happen each time it did. I just can remember having it happen occasionally when I was awake and doing things. Definitely dissociation. (If you are willing to believe me further I think its just probably "lights out" and being scared of that)

1. Riding a mattress down the stairs. I kind of remember two images, one is the tunnel vision of going high speed down the stairs and the other would be from looking back up at the stairs when I was done going down. Totally fun, probably my first rollar coaster ride. I might remember my siblings laughing too but it wouldnt be because I can remember the actual laughing-- but I can remember feeling the joy of being in a group of people laughing. At the time, my parents were selling the house so thats why I also remember it being a completely empty carpeted room that we were riding down into

2. My brother smashing his head repeatedly into the refrigerator for 'fun' and someone saying "wow he has a hard head" or something along those lines. I was learning english I cant remember exactly what they said but that was definitely the meaning I took from their words. I think this memory is strong, because I was truly very curious as to why my brother was just running at full speed, head down, and headbutting a hard surface. The words someone said after that must have been one of my first 'answers'

3. Watching my siblings play in rare Houston snow. Not much remembering there actually. Probably just thought it was mezmorizing to watch as I just really remember a picture and feeling peace

4. Will add more later.

[cilil]

🌿 for ask game. thank you!

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Now I may be both a good and bad person to ask about that because I've been inspired and writing almost every day for 2 1/2 years straight now and, while there certainly were unproductive episodes in terms of output or low motivation or stress and anxiety keeping me away from writing itself, I always had inspiration in my head at least; I suppose you could say I've been somewhat "blessed" with keeping this up without putting in real conscious effort. I don't think there's a secret recipe either, but I'll try to give some helpful (?) ideas :)

So a good chunk of this is sadly, or at least I suspect it might be so, dependent on how prone to hyperfixation and how attached to an individual thing you are on a personal level. Speaking for myself, I'm the kind of person who always has their "one main thing" and sticks with it for several years at least (I was tenacious enough to spend 5 years doing my own thing in a dead fandom) and slowly digs deeper and deeper as time goes on. Others may change interests more frequently, be in several fandoms at once or experience greater fluctuations with high and low creativity. That leads us to my first point: Know who you are and work with that, don't try to be anyone else.

The second thing I think is important is to find a good balance between trying to be reliable and finish your stuff and give yourself some space to do whatever you feel like and fuck around. You may have heard creativity being compared to a river before and it's true: Too much human interference - for example straightening a river - can impact the environment around it negatively, and too much scheduling and deadlines and forcing yourself to be creative will impact your creativity negatively. Make sure you have the space to at least occasionally do what comes to mind. You should be working on project A, but you're feeling project B? Work on B for a while. The muses are moody.

Another thing that may seem a little contradictory at first, but I think is helpful: Keep at it. If you do whatever is your creative thing regularly, it's less of a "big deal" and threshold to cross every time, it becomes natural and a comforting part of your routine. For writers, drabble challenges and prompt events are examples for good tools to ensure you write at least semi-regularly. But again, please don't feel like you have to force yourself to create every single day, especially if you're someone who experiences periods of little to no creative energy. That's fine. Let yourself recharge. We're all different (in general what works for me doesn't have to work for everyone else).

Now if you do find yourself in a bit of a creative slump or lose passion for a project you used to enjoy a lot, here are some things you can try:

Take a break and do something else. Scratch a different itch. Have fun!

Put yourself in the right mood/mindset by looking for media that evokes the feelings/vibes needed for your project (note that this will work better for people who are highly sensitive or otherwise react/connect to media on an emotional level more strongly). Examples: A playlist, a specific song you associate with your work, a movie/book/game/etc that inspired you, artwork of a character

Talk about it with someone else. Be excited together. Ask for advice if needed. Or just talk through whatever block you have; you may not even consciously realize it, but just to have someone listening will help with explaining the situation to both them and yourself and clearing it up

Write a project list (I recommend either a spreadsheet or a handwritten one). Sometimes the crux with a project is simply all the disorganized noise around it and you begin to feel anxious which causes writer's block and/or kills your creativity. Writing a list can clear that up, make you feel more calm and collected and show you a clear way forward. Note: This applies to other situations in life too. Try it and I promise things will become easier to handle

That's all I can think of right now. Again I can't promise any of this is "the secret sauce, but maybe some of it can help someone :)

[digital288]

How Insurance Brokers Make Finding the Right Coverage Easy

Understanding Your Needs

The first step in finding the right coverage is understanding your needs. This is where insurance brokers excel. They take the time to sit down with you and assess your individual situation. Whether you're a young professional looking for health insurance or a family in need of comprehensive home and auto coverage, insurance brokers listen to your concerns and tailor their recommendations accordingly.

Access to Multiple Options

One of the key advantages of working with an insurance broker is access to multiple options. Instead of being tied to a single insurance company, brokers have relationships with various insurers. This means they can shop around on your behalf, comparing rates and coverage options from different providers. By doing the legwork for you, insurance brokers save you time and ensure you get the best possible coverage at the most competitive price.

Expert Advice

Insurance can be complicated, with lots of technical terms and fine print to decipher. That's where the expertise of insurance brokers comes in handy. These professionals have in-depth knowledge of the insurance industry and can explain complex concepts in simple, easy-to-understand language. Whether you have questions about deductibles, co-pays, or coverage limits, your insurance broker is there to provide expert advice and guidance every step of the way.

Customized Solutions

No two individuals are exactly alike, and neither are their insurance needs. That's why insurance brokers offer customized solutions tailored to your specific circumstances. Whether you have a pre-existing medical condition, a high-value home, or a unique business venture, your insurance broker can find coverage that meets your requirements. By taking into account your individual needs and preferences, brokers ensure you get the right coverage for you.

Advocacy and Support

When it comes time to file a claim, having an insurance broker in your corner can make all the difference. Brokers act as advocates for their clients, helping them navigate the claims process and ensuring they receive fair treatment from the insurance company. Whether you're dealing with a denied claim, a dispute over coverage, or simply need assistance filling out paperwork, your insurance broker is there to provide support and guidance every step of the way.

Building Long-Term Relationships

Insurance needs can change over time, whether due to life events, changing circumstances, or evolving risks. That's why it's important to build a long-term relationship with your insurance broker. By getting to know you and your family or business, brokers can anticipate your changing needs and proactively adjust your coverage accordingly. This ensures you always have the right protection in place, no matter what life throws your way.

In conclusion, insurance brokers play a vital role in helping individuals find the right coverage. From understanding your needs to accessing multiple options, providing expert advice to offering customized solutions, brokers make the insurance process easy and stress-free. With their advocacy and support, you can rest assured knowing you have the right coverage in place to protect what matters most. So why navigate the world of insurance alone when you can have a trusted partner by your side? Choose an insurance broker today and experience the peace of mind that comes with knowing you're properly protected.

[atelier-kristel]

What We Can Do to Support Female Art

Being a feminist and an artist myself, I have gotten substantial first-hand experience with the challenges that come with creating “female art”. The challenges come from various angles and corners: the industry, the market and society itself.  

“There is no market for the kind of work that you.”

“Does it have to be so…feminist?”

“I just don’t get it…”

I have heard it all and then some more which is why, supporting and encouraging women in the art world is always on top of my development agenda. I believe now is the time to actively support female empowerment and gender equality in the arts industry, as numerous industries across the globe are still progressing at a snail’s pace. This support can start individually and only then can it snowball into something significant and ground-breaking.

So, what can we do to support women artists and equality in general?  

Here are 4 things that you can start from today.

Educate yourself

The internet is a beautiful place with ample of resources for information and content on the history, culture and politics of art by women. There are podcasts, movies and Youtube channels that you can listen and watch to educate yourself and also get a nuanced perspective on the woman artist experience. If you are looking for my recommendations, I would suggest listening to The Great Women Artists and Beyond the Paint podcasts. They are incredibly entertaining and provide invaluable insight into the current art market.  

Support institutions and galleries that host women artist exhibits

Go online and find out galleries, exhibitions and institutions that are actively supporting and displaying art created by women. There might not be a lot of them out there, which is why it is even more important for us to go out and visit these places that are hosting these events. If you cannot afford to buy the artworks, a visit is more than enough as this would be encouraging for these places to continue doing their work.

Post it on your socials!

This is another effective yet convenient way to show your support for female artists. Social media can single handily skyrocket an artists career, if their work is shared by the right people at the right time. In order for that to happen, we need to find female art that we resonate with and share it on our feeds, so that people who follow us can also discover this art and perhaps, share it as well. With this happening often enough, we might be able to bring considerable visibility to numerous women artists.

Buy the art!

Yes, if you can, then put your money where your mouth is. I remember the first time when I was able to sell my artwork and how it felt to have made a living out of something that I cared so passionately about. This is why I love to collect art from up and coming female artists, it encourages them and makes them feel that their work has artistic and monetary value. So, I cannot stress enough, if you have the means for it then definitely go out and invest in female art.

There you have it: 4 easy ways in which you can do your part and support women artists. So, review this list and see what are the things that you can do which can help in pushing the female arts to the cultural forefront. It all starts from us…

Shop my artwork collection HERE.

Check my digital artwork collection HERE.

[highplains123]

Usda Rural Housing Loan Liberty Federal Credit Union

In some instances, the prices for eligible home repairs can be included in the loan, which implies no out-of-pocket costs for improvements or renovations. When you select Legacy Ag to construct, buy or refinance your rural home, you're trusting that our decades of expertise in agricultural finance shall be a good match with what you need to accomplish. We’ve supplied our services to refinance existing ranch houses and have helped clients who've bought an existing home and want refinancing. We’ve also helped families receive the capital needed for model new construction on rural acreage.Contact ustoday to start your rural home loan application. Legacy Ag Credit values the satisfaction that comes with creating a country homestead. We offer rural home loans and rural improvement home loans so you can create comfort on agricultural subdivision lots or on a tract of land within the woods.

Individuals who thought they would be unable to qualify for traditional loans are often in a position to obtain financing through USDA loans. You also comply with our Terms of Service and to our Privacy Policy relating rural area home loans to the data regarding you. This consent applies even if you're on a company, state or national Do Not Call record.

However, you still need to pay for the inspection, appraisal, and shutting costs. This kind of USDA mortgage loan is out there to low- and very-low-income debtors. Loan proceeds may be used to purchase, renovate or relocate a home, or to make site improvements together with installation of water and sewage companies. Keep studying to study extra about eligibility for a Rural Development Single-Family Home Loan and tips on how to start the appliance course of.

Tim Eagan, is a really professional and an excellent Loan officer, he explains up front what to expect, and get you the best fee attainable in the marketplace. I will suggest Grandview Lending, Inc to anyone excited about buying house. This is the second time I even rural home loans have used Kimberly Irving for the refinancing of my home and he or she has been extraordinary! She and her assistant Glenn Hubbard walked me via each step and made positive I understood every thing that was occurring. If I had any questions Kimberly and her group have been jolly on the spot. I highly advocate Kimberly Irving at Grandview Lending.

I would highly suggest Tracy and the Grandview Lending group for your home mortgage needs. Kim went above and past to get our household the best fee she could! She kept in fixed communication and made the complete process quite simple and stress free. We would use suggest to anyone to offer Grandview Lending your business.

I highly suggest Grandview Lending and they will actually make you are feeling like a valued buyer, and not only a quantity. Kimberly Irving helped make my first home shopping for experience totally enjoyable! I was offered quick turnaround time and reliable communication that made the customer support stand out from other companies i’ve tried. I highly suggest to anyone looking for broker/loan companies. Tracy Harding and the staff at Grandview can do what nobody else can do, and make you feel good about it while they do it.

I extremely suggest them and have despatched a number of friends their method. A USDA loan could additionally be less costly than an FHA loan, so it’s price contemplating a USDA loan first if you meet the eligibility requirements. USDA loans typically don’t require down funds, making them engaging to homebuyers who don’t have a lot cash saved up.

The rates of interest are nice which is able to allow you to maintain your funds low. Qualifying for a USDA Rural Development loan is similar to an FHA mortgage nevertheless there are two necessary necessities you must meet for earnings limits and rural home location. We were more than happy with Tim Egan's work on the mortgage for our new home buy. We would recommend his services to anyone in the market to buy or refinance. He spend a lot of time explaining the process and answering our questions and that led to no surprises along the means in which.

“Rural” doesn’t imply dust roads and farms that are disconnected from the remainder of the world. It means more space, extra tranquility, and extra of the things that suit your lifestyle rural home loan. We have created an easy-to-useonline application toolso you could start the method. New development loans to construct the residence you’ve been ready for.

[universallymakerprince]

gary payton pre rolls: Expectations vs. Reality

The Ultimate Guide To Gary Payton - Cannabis

Table of ContentsMore About Gary Payton Strain InformationCookies' Gary Payton Strain Pays Homage To The Legendary Things To Know Before You Get ThisFascination About Gary Payton Weed Strain Review & InformationGary Payton Cannabis Strain - Cookies Gary Payton Review Fundamentals Explained

This is actually a special cannabis stress with an excellent flavor. It will certainly leave consumers in a solemn condition brooding about life. It happens along with several health care benefits and a handful of adverse results (exotic weed bags). Below is actually an extensive evaluation of the Gary Payton stress. The Gary Payton strain, likewise referred to as cookie Gary Payton is actually a hybrid of the snowman and the Y.

The Gary Payton discolor is actually a well balanced marijuana strain that uniformly disperses Sativa as well as Indica information. It happens from the household of GSC as well as possesses whole lots to provide to its individuals. While it offers our team a relaxing knowledge it doesn't calm you. It's particularly suitable for tobacco smokers throughout the evening. cookie crumble strain.

This is a pressure that can easily hit quickly and hard. When taken in, individuals will feel light as well as possess the sensation that they are drifting. You will definitely experience extra relaxed, balanced and also your ideas are going to be clearer. For many individuals, their concentration is enhanced which helps all of them to be a lot more successful (cookie crumble strain allbud).

You are going to likewise scent some factors of warm rubber as well as stimulating diesel. When breathed out, you are going to receive natural tastes of pine, mint as well as nutmeg. It's a little bit comparable to the Woman Recruiter Biscuit grandparents, it smells pleasant. The Gary Payton strain examined between 16 to 25% THC web content which means it is actually alright for newbies as well as additionally ideal for those that may withstand high THC levels - gary payton packages.

This pressure, when enjoyed the morning, assures users a moment and energy increase which maintains all of them going. The height that happens with this tension works out buyers' thoughts and makes them extra imaginative. star mint strain. When you take this stress in the harsh dosage, you are going to have boosted psychological alertness, better concentration and also general device attention.

The Gary Payton pressure can easily additionally aid with hyperactivity and also ADD considering that it aids individuals comprise themselves. gary payton cookies flower. If you are struggling with small aches, ache and migraine headache, after that this cannabis strain can help ease you. The Gary Payton stress isn't optimal for new cannabis consumers. You need to begin vaping through this strain, you should possess drag or smoke yet another cannabis prior to taking it.

The Single Strategy To Use For Gary Payton Strain - Marijuana Strain Ratings

You may additionally intend to get water close through because there has been a reported situation of dry out mouth. The stress strikes hard, so you may prefer to prevent taking it when carrying out strenuous work. payton weed. To expand the Gary Payton seeds isn't difficult, nevertheless, you need to recognize how it operates and the ideal health conditions satisfied for it.

Fresh Bros has now formally partnered with Packwoods, Runtz, and D8 to deliver you Runtz Pens, D8 Markers and we have actually replenished our primary compilation.

This information is sourced from our readers and also is not a replacement for professional medical recommendations. Seek the suggestions of a health and wellness specialist just before making use of cannabis for a clinical condition.

But was actually all that searching as well as a 2015 cost tag worth it? I can't argue with somebody that bows out costly grass, but I must accept that the fumes emerging of my Gary Payton bag drilled me in the skin harder than any frat bro has. The enthusiasm as well as bloodcurdling element of those thick rubber fragrances and minty floral notes told me of my very first time ever before scenting persistent (skywalker strain allbud).

It is a cross of The Y as well as Snowman tensions. 2022 exotic weed strains. A lot like the remainder of the family of cannabis strains, Gary Payton possesses plenty to deliver! The Y, generally called Y Griega and also merely Y, is a sativa-dominant marijuana stress that creates massive weeds a lot more like an indica. The delightful and floral weeds provide a head high that is actually quite energizing as well as encouraging, making it an excellent daytime marijuana tension.

Snowman is actually a sativa-dominant phenotype of Gal Recruiter Cookies. gary payton ii weed. With weeds that offer a mix of spicy diesel-powered and also fresh vanilla, this set ensures to please fans of the timeless GSC. It delivers a peaceful adventure that isn't sleep or sedation, creating it great for a chill treatment at nights.

Gary Payton Weed Strain Information for Beginners

TOTALLY FREE electronic book Obtain our leading measured pressure GUIDE! There is some released data online concerning the blooming time period of Cookies Gary Payton, but some growers mention that the information failed to match their real-world results. What this implies is that the assortment of phenotypes on the marketplace produced through all of the several breeders develops somewhat different flowering durations.

The buds may feature forest green, mint greenish, and also purple colors. peyton manning strain. These grape-shaped buddies are heavy and component bright orange hairs and also a healthy and balanced coating of crystal-like trichomes displaying the potency of Gary Payton. Biscuits Gary Payton stress has assessed between 15-25% THC, meaning perhaps wonderful for newbies or excellent for those with an extreme resistance to THC.

The high is actually as balanced as the genetic makeups, providing a prompt onset, enduring results, as well as a lot of effectiveness for the majority of cannabis consumers. The smart effects struck to begin with as well as typically bring about exhilaration and also may also boost emphasis in some. slurty strain. The body system impacts are actually unwinding without much sleep or sedation, producing it fantastic for whenever of day.

Berry undertones could be noted in some sets, however the frustrating aromatic account of Gary Payton is actually sharp. The taste profile is a lot of the same, although it is actually a little sweeter than the scent. Cookies Gary Payton has tested high in Caryophyllene, Limonene, Myrcene, Linalool, as well as Humulene. It's uncertain that all batches will definitely be actually abundant with all of these terpenes.

This hashish strain isn't as widespread as some various other Cookies stress, but it's potent and delightful for leisure and also medical users identical. Have a look at the marijuana education courses here at CTU created to aid marijuana raisers.

Chatting about the Gary Payton seeds, you may develop them inside your home and outdoors, always keeping the environment cozy and moist. The plant can easily reach up to six feet in height. The vegetation begins blooming within 7 to nine weeks when expanded inside your home - gary peyton. If you have planted them outdoors, you can count on the blooming duration to begin between mid-late October.

A Biased View of Get A Euphoric High With Gary Payton Weed Strain

The grass tension gives various aromas for its own unusual terpene profile. Generally, the fragrance of this tension can easily be referred to as natural, blossomy, and herbal. Some batches may possess a berry trace, some scents like fresh orange enthusiasm with a frustrating citrus smell, while others possess a rejuvenating minty plant based fragrance - y-life strain.

That said, you can jumble this pressure along with other stress to have a calming vaping take in through THC vape pens - peyton cookies strain. Nevertheless, it is actually not that great for amateurs who can not withstand this massive ecstatic high; that is the all-natural specialty of THC. Although there is actually little bit of to no CBD in the Cookies Gary Payton pressure, some batches might consist of as a lot as 5% CBD.

A small dose of this particular excellent pressure is enough to relish THC's comforting as well as soothing impacts. The individual feels a dense quilt of peacefulness and calmness all around (xj-13 strain effects). Many people really feel giggly, ecstatic, and talkative, yet without blowing up. Some folks initial experience ecstasy, while others may really feel much more focused as well as centered.

[4rdcorners]

2022 revamp series - part 3

the funeral & deciding dream lifestyle

today, we are letting go of the old story. if you need to write out how your life currently is, and burn that paper, then do it. we are dropping that old story and never picking it back up, do you understand?!?! we are getting rid of the things that don’t benefit us. we are only persisting in what will benefit us.

now we look at our current circumstances, the old story. we’re gonna hold a funeral for it! mentally make note of it or write it out. if you made a mental note of it, then imagine your old story, in a casket, you burying it underneath the ground. if you wrote it out, rip the paper into shreds & throw it away! the old story is DEAD. we got rid of it. now, let’s make the new story.

figure out how you want your life to be & each area. examples:

career

school

family

relationship

style

sort all of that out. make sure it’s IDEAL. don’t even think about being ‘realistic’ you are god, my baby. there’s not a single thing that you’re not able to do.

that’s your new life. that’s what you’re committing yourself to from now on. you are now deciding that’s your life. your mentally in that reality now, stay there. your physical reality WILL catch up, it has to. it listens to your thoughts and conforms to it. your only job is to stay faithful to this new reality. as long as you mentally stay there, you will experience the materialization of it. if you’re worried about affirming for every single thing, then just use blanket affirmations, here are a few.

my life is perfect.

i have everything i want.

every aspect of my life is perfect.

life is amazing.

i’m the person who has it all.

i wouldn’t recommend individually affirming for each desire, but if that’s what you want to do, then go for it! it seems that it causes a lot more anxiety when you’re worried about affirming for every single thing. while you’re committing yourself to the new story, you also need to focus on your self concept. ik it seems annoying and repetitive, but it truly relieves your stress, helps you manifest quicker, and will completely change your life around. it will help you understand that you’re really not obtaining anything. you are god, which means you made the universe, the stars, the sun, earth, oxygen, etc. everything in this world, YOU fucking made it. if you made it all, then why would it be hard for it to get to the owner? you made it all, it belongs to you. that’s all manifesting is, claiming what’s yours & it presents itself in your physical reality. just commit yourself to your perfect self concept and the world around you will literally bow down.

there’s so many different ways to persist in your perfect self concept, just find which one you like. you don’t even need a routine to ‘manifest’. as long as your thoughts align with what you want to materialize, then you’re doing amazing, it will do just that. persist in the new story. that’s all you have to do my love. & im absolutely sure you can do it. the world conforms to your thoughts. so if you want to manifest instantly, think it. it’s all up to you & your mindset.

when you focus on your self concept while persisting in your new story, trust me, it will NOT stop materializing. things you didn’t even know you wanted will present itself to you. if you believe the world bends down to you, then it does! you make the rules, you are god! do not stress about anything. trust yourself.

all you have to do is assume your life is ideal, and it is.

[nerdygaymormon]

Message to a Counselor

The other day the stake presidency was doing temple recommend interviews, ecclesiastical endorsement interviews and whatever other interviews were needed. One of the interviews lasted a long time, which happens occasionally, it’s nice they spend time when someone needs it.

At the end of the night, the counselor who had done the long interview said he wanted to talk with me. The person brought up they have a family member who is trans and has changed their name, done all the surgeries, and it makes this member feel confused and not sure what to think. She wanted to know how this fits with our beliefs.

She also mentioned that there was an incident at a YSA (young single adult) activity where one person mentioned something about them being gay, and a different person said it makes him really uncomfortable that there’s a gay person here with them. 

The counselor didn’t really know how to respond. He mentioned that I’m gay and I shared a video earlier this year with the leaders of all the wards in our stake, that it gave him a new perspective that he’d never considered and wondered if I’d be willing to share with the person he interviewed.

It was late and we needed to get home, but I was thinking I should share some things with this counselor to help him better understand, to give him some perspective and ways of framing LGBTQ+ topics so he’ll be better prepared if they come up again. 

Here’s the email I sent him

————————————————————  

I was thinking some more about our conversation from the other night of the family member who has transitioned.

Trans people grow up with who they feel themselves to be not matching their body. This causes them a lot of stress. Trans people transition so they are living consistent with who they are in their heart and it is a way for them to love themselves.

Transitioning can mean a lot of things, including changing name & pronouns, to changing the clothes they wear, to body modification and even surgery. Research shows us that for trans people, being able to transition drastically reduces feelings of suicide and body dysmorphia and yields the best life outcomes.

Our Church Handbook says "Members and nonmembers who identify as transgender--and their family and friends--should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and an abundance of Christlike love. All are welcome to attend Sacrament Meeting, other Sunday meetings, and social events of the Church." Elder Renlund teaches that "doctrine can never be used to justify treating others with anything less than respect and dignity." It's okay to not understand their experience and feel some discomfort, but we need to trust people make the best life choices for themselves and believe that God knows their heart & their circumstances and will judge them accordingly. 

If she wants to continue to have a relationship with this person, she should respect their name and pronouns. If she feels strongly against this, then she should quietly remove herself from their life.

I also was thinking about the YSA person who expressed discomfort at someone at church identifying as gay.

Being in the closet and pretending that I wasn't gay created hardships and trials for myself. Pretending to be someone else meant I missed out on getting to know myself. When I finally welcomed this as my reality, I could make it a strength. 

The 2nd great commandment says we are to love ourselves, that includes self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-worth. My orientation is important, and it's a wonderful thing about me, it comes with many great traits and blessings. Every queer person reaches a point where they have to choose, do I want to continue to live a safe life or do I want to live an authentic life. Our church theology may not include LGBTQ+ people, but they exist and often are quietly attending church with us. We're commanded to love our neighbor, not to send any away. LGBTQ+ individuals who come to church deserve to hear good words, to be welcomed and loved and be strengthened in the gospel. The scriptures say that whatever we do to the least, the people most in need or people who are on the margins, whatever we do to them, it's like we did it to God. The way we keep the commandment to love God is to love others and ourselves. That's the central message of the gospel. I think about Christ's example of how He treated people on the peripheries. He didn't shun them or avoid them. He ate with them, He walked with them, He cried with them, He healed their wounds, He validated them, and He listened to them. He met them where they were. These people on the margins walked away being uplifted by their interaction with Christ. I think that's a worthy goal for all of us, to leave people feeling uplifted from interacting with us.

————————————————————  

This is the response I received:

Well said David. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspective. This is valuable to me. I certainly do want others to feel the Savior's love through me.

Love you my friend!

[boredmariedelline]

The Iokan Court: Empress Penelope's Ladies-in-Waiting

I'm starting a new series on Iokan Court life which combines my two loves: VADD and history. These are probably one of the longest series of posts I'm ever making.

Ladies-in-Waiting are the noblewomen and aristocrats who act as personal attendants, companions and private secretaries (sometimes spies) to a Queen/Empress. Most of them a usually married to high ranking aristocratic men. The Empress can select any noblewoman as her lady-in-waiting, including members of her family, widows and infamous individuals. They also have a very high personal salary. Ladies-in-Waiting can also gain political and social powers while serving under their mistress. Most, if not all ladies, are powerful players in the game of politics, due to their imperial connections. All ladies report gossip, rumors, marriages, and possible alliances to their mistress.

Lady Marianne Terosi Porter, Countess Porter - She is currently a professor of archaeology at the Imperial Academy and wife of Count Cedrick Porter (Callisto made him a count for his services). She is the only part-time lady-in-waiting who accompanies Penny during her archaeological exploits and was the second one appointed to her. She also has three kids with Cedric. She is the only daughter of Count Terosi, who opposed her archeological pursuits.

Lady Emily Meyer Reuss - She was granted a noble last name (Reuss) and a ladyship rank by Callisto so that she could become Penny's lady-in-waiting. At this point, she and Reynold were still an dating in secret. Since becoming a lady, she's been able to provide for her family and pay off some debts. Also, she managed to save a lot of money and finally indulge in things for herself, like nicer clothes, reading, and better shoes. She is the main lady-in-waiting for Penny while she's in the Palace. She does the companionship thing the most but also reports rumors in the palace.

Lady Thalia Verdandi - She's @bluebutterflyrose and @eloise175 's character. She was recommended as a lady-in-waiting by her cousin, Vinter. She basically looks like a female version of Vinter. She is a very optimistic yet secretive lady, who is two years older than Penny. The Imperial Children love her because she also helps Vinter out with the magic and sorcery stuff. She also helps Penny with magic issues when he's gone. She is in charge of wardrobe and dressing. Her job is mostly picking out Penny's outfits and jewelry every single day. Which is a very stressful job since imperial clothing can be used to convey underlying messages.

Lady Valerie "Val" Amerling, Marquise Amerling - A personal creation of mine. She is the baroness's (Callisto's nanny) daughter who is the same age as Callisto. She has mid-length silver grey hair and dark blue eyes. Generally, looks menacing and judgmental but she just has a resting b*tch face and is really nice and supportive. She is married to Marquis Amerling, a General in the army but he's away at the borderlands, most of the time. She also has 4 kids with him. Her job is to help with Penny with her daily schedule and is her head lady-in-waiting because of her experience.

Lady Selene Hanover, Marquise Hanover - @bluebutterflyrose helped me out with her. She has long moss green hair and hazel brown eyes. Usually appears quiet and formal but looks out for Penny and the rest of the ladies like little sisters. She's the second-oldest lady after Val. She’s a year or 2 older than Penny and is married to one of Callisto's commanders in his army, with whom she has two sons with. Her job mostly involves managing Penny's massive wardrobe, buying clothes, and working with Thalia.

Lady Edelheide "Edie" Pyrmont - @seirclys helped me out with her. She is the orphaned daughter of a noble under Vinter's domain. Shortly after her parents died, she became his ward until she's turned 18. Although her status at birth is uncertain (It was speculated that her mother had a lover), she is still considered a member of nobility. Her reputation amongst the nobility is neutral, with an air of mystery surrounding her. Because of her so-so reputation, she is Penny's unofficial personal informant, rumor master, and spy. She does the most socializing out of all the ladies because of her job. She also has no intention of ever marrying because she's already content in life.

[meichenxi]

Hey, could I ask you how you do shadowing? Like the different ways you do it? You mentioned in your tag that shadowing is good and I'd love to hear how you do it! I do not attempt shadowing much so I don't really know what helps, etc. ToT (my studyblr is rigelmejo)

Hellooo! Thank you for the interesting question!

Tbh I think I do it fairly basically - I don’t use any particularly fancy software, but software like Language Learning with Netflix has certainly made it easier. There’s a whole video on how to get the most of it here: [on mobile, link didn't work - How to study Chinese with Netflix! by Chinese Zero To Hero] (I’d recommend checking out all of their videos actually, they’ve done a bunch of livestreams recently and they place a lot of emphasis on shadowing + the course they are trying to sell you is…actually phenomenally good)

(Also, I have to preface this by saying that I have been very lucky in terms of pronunciation: I learnt about 80% of my current vocabulary by ear without characters or pinyin. I have been in China for eight months in total, and while I didn’t speak Chinese for all of that, I was constantly soaking in info on natural sentence intonation. I still often don’t know officially what the tone of a vocabulary item is, especially if it changes tone like 教, 为 or 相, but I don’t get yelled at so I have definitely internalised a lot of those changes. I definitely would have more trouble with this if I hadn’t had that experience - my other areas are waaaay weaker because of this though- my reading SUCKS lmao and I can literally handwrite about ten characters)

Anyway. How I shadow:

1) Quite simply by playing the line, and repeating it with all the emotion it has!! I usually use Netflix or Viki for this. I try to do it as fast as possible, and if I can’t do the whole thing, I ‘chunk’ it: if I were doing the sentence 我们还不知道他会不会来, I would start from the end with 他会不会来, then 不知道他会不会来, and then the whole sentence. Notice that this isn’t breaking it down into words or even grammatical phrases, but intonational phrases: it would be perfectly sensible to just do 会不会来 without the 他 but realistically, since this is a question, it’s likely that a strong stress will be placed on the first 会, and you wouldn’t be able to replicate that without also included the more weakly stressed syllable before.

2) I locate (intentionally or subconsciously) the main locus of stress within the sentence, and I focus on that accordingly. Tones may become less extreme if they are not stressed, and may become more exaggerated if stressed. This is always a good exercise. I accompany this with physical actions - I throw my hands down, I sigh, I groan!

3) I put away the text, and don’t look at the tones or even my computer screen - more on this below.

4) Finally, when I think I’ve got it reasonably accurate, I’ll record them speaking the line into my phone with an appropriate pause for copying and play it back to myself at various points throughout the day.

5) I then go and find other words with the same tone contour to slot in, and copy it again. After that, I find words that are slightly different tonally and pop them in too.

6) I finally do fun things like hold a conversation with myself. This can be really simple phrases imbued with some kind of emotion - 这个女子到底是谁呀？为什么不认识我？应该是新手吧。You can do this either really informally, or very formally, or both - trying to speak in the latter way is very fun! So then it’d be idk something more like: 那位姑娘是何人，来自何处？This is fun because you can really slow down your speech and sound as elegant as you like!! (this will sound stilted if you do it for modern speech, but it’s a very fun exercise)

Choosing your media!!

1) Don’t use donghuas. Seriously. The voice actors usually speak at a ridiculous pace and not with the same range of ‘normal’ intonation

2) Your Chinese is definitely good enough to recognise when anyone is quoting poetry or speaking in a paricularly sexy literary way so, uh…don’t do that. That rules dramas like Nirvana in Fire OUT.

3) Modern dramas and reality TV shows CAN be great, but they can also be quite intimidatingly quick and almost too mushy at times. I’d recommend informal speech in guzhuang dramas more, because they have professional voice actors and extensive sound editing, meaning that although it might be fast and the vocabulary harder, it’s actually much more accessible and easier to copy. You don’t want to be stuck with the awfulness of 50% failed foreigner and 50% 12 year old boy who can’t enunciate properly!!

4) CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON WISELY. I try to find characters that speak in a dramatic, whiny or childish way. This is so important! There’s literally no use copying Lan Wangji unless you want to be able to have that particular cadence and tone of voice you get reciting poetry. Childish/whiny/dramatic characters on the other hand stress some words very strongly, and rush others together - this is great for hearing what actual real speech sounds like. Whininess wins. In The Untamed, characters like Wei Wuxian (not yllz!wwx but just…regular wwx), 一问三不知 Nie Huaisang, Jin Ling, and Jingyi are all great. Also Jiggy, who is just very extra constantly and speaks much slower as well, which really helps. In SHL characters like Gu Xiang are good.

5) CHOOSE YOUR VOICE WISELY! If you are really aiming to copy them 100% (which you should try at least sometimes), you want somebody with your pitch range to sound normal. I have a sort of party trick in Chinese that because I’ve spent so much time listening to women in guzhuang dramas I can change my voice and sound like a) a scheming concubine with honeyed words, or b) the voice of the Beijing metro. My teacher found it hysterically funny. But it’s not my natural voice, and if I speak like that for too long it hurts. The women usually are too high for me, and the big burly manly men too low - so I’d recommend finding a man with a higher voice, or an older woman (like some of the female characters in Nirvana in Fire). Again, sorry that this is mostly the Untamed (I’m just most familiar with it) but the voice actors for Wei Wuxian and some of the juniors (+jiggy) has a higher voice. Likewise Chengling in Word of Honour.

On intonation in general:

- The thing is that whilst shadowing is useful it requires prior ability in a whole bunch of other skills that you can train - it relies on your ability to accurately mimic pitch, emotion and other contrasts. Training this in ANY language, including your native one, will help your ability to do this in Chinese - so I’d recommend spending a fair amount of time practicing shadowing (or speaking just after somebody whilst listening to a string of text, like monolingual simultaneous interpreting) in your native language too. Any training copying accents or mimicking other people is going to similarly help, regardless of the language.

So, with that in mind, further tips:

1) Hum / try to copy the intonation without any words. What this does is force you to pay attention to what the intonation actually is, versus what you may think it should be.

2) Don’t look at the text! Do! Not! Look! At! The! Text! If you look at the characters or pinyin you’re telling yourself ‘ok this is a third tone here’ etc, but you want to override the part of your brain that has gotten into bad habits and is supremely self-confident in how you’re pronouncing the third tone, and actually just go straight back to mimicking.

3) Don’t be afraid to do it with vocabulary that is way beyond your level. Actually, I find this can sometimes be helpful, because you don’t have a prior idea about how a particular tone pair should be useful - and you don’t know which tone you should be producing.

4) Learn vocabulary by ear - listen to a vocab podcast or even make one yourself (I often do this; I record my daily Anki and listen back to it through headphones copying throughout the day - if you’re not confident in your pronunciation you can get Google Translate to do it). Similarly, pick unknown vocabulary out of a longer segment and remember it, trying to internalise the tones instead of figuring out which tone it is.

5) Find emotional sentences, and copy them with emotion. This is SO CRUCIAL!!! We remember things when we relate to them, and when we imbue them with emotion - and it also helps in hearing exactly how an angry second tone sounds, for instance.

6) When you’re copying, look up, and imagine you are having an actual conversation. Carry yourself with conviction and poise!! Really try to whine like wwx or slime like jgy. After a couple of turns copying them, try to turn off the audio and keep delivering it in the same manner.

7) Swap individual words out. Once you have a line properly figured out, swap a word or two that has a different tone pair, and focus on delivering it with the same pattern of stress.

8) Finally, practice doing this in your native language too!! It’s a skill that we don’t use often, and it can be trained. Some people are terrible at it at first go even in their native language, but you can work on it!

About intonation in general:

1) I think a lot of pronunciation problems with people sounding unnatural or stiff ultimately come down to a fundamental misunderstanding of what intonation looks like across different languages. In English we mark it by pitch: and we are so used to the rhetoric that Chinese has ‘tone’ and not ‘intonation’ that we try and focus on blindly copying every single word textbook perfect without listening to how it actually sounds.

2) Chinese does have intonation!!! Except that, unlike English, when you stress a word, the pitch doesn’t change, but the tone contour is exaggerated - basically the only time you will ever hear a full third tone is in isolated or very exaggerated speech. If you have a Chinese friend, get them to record a sentence like the English ‘I didn’t ask her to steal his rucksack’, and put stress on the different elements of it - I didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, and so on. Notice and copy how the tones change. When shadowing, you should always be paying attention to where the stress is in the sentence: when you speak by yourself, practicing saying a sentence neutrally, and then with stress on one component, the next, and so on. If it feels unnatural, it’s because you might not have practicised like this before - it’ll get better!

Hope that’s somewhat helpful / interesting!

- 梅晨曦

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Alright, this combination spoke to me. I personally am struggling to pick between Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, and Diavolo as my favorite, I love all of them. So Poly with the four, but with the angst prompt of "I don't know how much longer I can endure this." in response to the tortures of not being able to choose. Up to interpretation, but this resonated with me.

I may have gotten a teensy tiny bit carried away with this one. But I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you enjoy it too!

Complicated

Diavolo / Lucifer / Satan / Beel x poly gn!MC

Words - 5330

Content warnings - some angst, lots of comfort and fluff, polyamorous relationship w/MC (no demon x demon relationships)

Prompt/Inspiration - anon request, “I don’t know how much longer I can endure this.”

Summary - You had managed to fall in love with not one, not two, but FOUR demons - and now you had to figure out what came next.

AO3

Complicated.

There really wasn’t another way to describe the current state of your life.

Beel was the first one to really take an interest in you. A genuine interest. You fell in love hard and fast. Perhaps it was the guilt over not being able to reveal what you knew about Belphegor’s situation, but you didn’t feel comfortable making your feelings for him known. It just seemed like something that would burden him, and you really didn’t want to risk losing the one friend you felt the most safe with while you were all alone in this new realm.

As your year progressed, the situation with Belphegor was finally resolved. But still, you hesitated to say anything. You knew how close he was to Belphie, and you convinced yourself that it would be best if you didn’t do anything that would come between them. It was obvious even to your own heart that you were just making excuses for yourself, too scared to take a step forward.

It was then you started growing closer to Lucifer. Your initial relationship with him had been...strained...to say the least. But after he realized the lengths you were willing to go to in order to help his brothers, he couldn’t help but fall in love with you. You had an inner strength that he honestly admired, though he would probably never admit that to you. And he enjoyed your company immensely, even if it was just having you nearby while he worked. Everything just seemed easier with you around, even Mammon’s shenanigans didn’t stress him out quite like they used to anymore. And you enjoyed his company as well - he was a source of stability for you in the chaos of the House of Lamentation. You would often take refuge in his study with him to recharge after a day of playing referee for the other overgrown children you had as housemates.

You had also managed to catch Satan’s eye, particularly after the whole dating sim fiasco with Levi. He liked the fact that you saw him as an individual - you never compared him to Lucifer, nor did you ever try to force the issue about them getting along. You just let Satan be...Satan. And he loved spending time with you reading together. It was like the two of you had your own private book club; he was always ready with a book recommendation for you.

It was Satan that had actually approached you first about the possibility of being in a relationship. You were surprised to hear that he had had such a strong interest in you, since he was always so reserved most of the time. Your initial reaction was of course to want to say yes, but the fact that Beel, and Lucifer especially, still held pieces of your heart made you feel incredibly guilty. You didn’t even have to ask to know that Lucifer was the absolute last person he’d ever be ok with sharing your affections with, even if you could get him to consider a polyamorous relationship.

So, you instead asked Satan for time. And he agreed to give you some space to think things over. You knew it was unfair to him to expect him to wait...but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him “no”. You didn’t want to tell him “no”, after all. It was just the only option you felt was available to you.

Hoping to avoid Satan, and delay the inevitable, you started spending more time with Barbatos at the Demon Lord’s Castle. He taught you all about Devildom teas, and showed you how to bake some of Diavolo’s favorite treats. And Diavolo was more than happy to sample everything you tried your hand at preparing.

At some point, you had just started dropping by even when Barbatos was busy, just to chat with Diavolo and he was always glad to see you. He’d ask you about your life in the human realm, and you’d ask him about life in the Devildom. You probably learned more about Devildom history and lore from these conversations than you ever did in class at RAD; and you eagerly soaked it all up, hanging on Diavolo’s every word, absolutely enchanted with his storytelling ability and his life experiences that spanned several millennia.

Unlike with Beel, or even Lucifer, you didn’t realize when you had started falling for Diavolo, or Dia as he asked you to call him now. One day you had just tried to stop by, only to learn that he was still stuck at RAD, working with Lucifer. And you were absolutely devastated. It shocked you honestly at just how upset you had gotten over the loss of one simple visit. But as soon as you felt that familiar ache in your heart you knew exactly what was going on.

It was the same thing that you had been trying to avoid dealing with with Lucifer and his brothers. And you had somehow managed to get tangled up in again. Only this time things were far more complicated than family relationships between brothers. There was just no way you’d be allowed to enter into a relationship with Lord Diavolo, crown prince of the Devildom. That is if he was even interested in you in that way, which you highly doubted. Why would he be? You were just a simple human. You didn’t have any great experience or insight to offer, your education wasn’t even that exemplary. There was nothing about you that you felt entitled you to ever expect to be more than just friends with the Prince, and you were lucky he even humored your attempts at friendship.

You weren’t sure how, but you did manage to make it home that afternoon and crawled into bed. The tears just started on their own, and you were powerless to stop them. You had fought them off for far too long at this point, your body simply decided it had enough repressing those emotions and they all came pouring out. How much longer would you be able to endure this? You honestly didn’t think there was much more your heart could take, and you had no one to blame but yourself.

————

When Beel dropped by to remind you of dinner, you pretended to sleep and choked back your sobs until he went away. When Lucifer stopped by to check on you, you told him you were busy with schoolwork. And when Satan asked if you would like to come over to his room to read, you said you weren’t feeling well.

You thought you had managed to throw everyone off the scent. But when Diavolo popped in to apologize for not being there when you had tried to visit him earlier, everything quickly started to unravel.

You opened your bedroom door, completely shocked to see Dia and Lucifer on the other side. He had never come by before just to see you. Maybe a few times to check on Lucifer, but he usually would send Barbatos to run any important errands or to issue any invitations. Seeing him before you now, you immediately became aware of how awful you must have looked. Your eyes still red, your hair a mess, your uniform all disheveled since you hadn’t bothered to change when you got home.

As you stood there, opening and closing your mouth, struggling to string together a single coherent thought, the unthinkable happened - Beel walked by on his way to the kitchen, Satan not far behind him, and they both turned to look your way as they walked past your door. Your eyes flicked from Beel to Satan to Lucifer to Dia and you instinctively tried to slam your door shut to escape, but Lucifer caught it before you could.

“Is there something the matter?” he asked.

And of course, once again, your body decided it had just had enough of containing your repressed emotions and let your tears flow freely. This was it, you thought. You were going to be forced to face what you had been trying to avoid and that would just be the end of it all. Since you had refused to make a choice on your own, your choice was about to be made for you and you were going to end up with absolutely nothing as a result.

—————

It took awhile for you to calm down. Beel was sitting next to you on the edge of your bed with his arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders. Satan was standing nearby, holding a glass of water for you. You thanked him quietly for his thoughtfulness, and slowly sipped the chilled water, trying to buy yourself some time before you would start being forced to answer questions. And Lucifer and Dia were sitting across from you in two plush, wingback chairs that they had dragged away from the wall.

Everyone silently waiting for you.

“I’m...sorry…” you finally mumbled out. Beel gave you a reassuring squeeze, and Satan sat down beside you, taking your free hand. What you wouldn’t have given to be able to freeze time and just continue living in that perfect little moment surrounded by your favorite demons. But this was reality. And it was about time you faced that.

“It’s ok, but what are you apologizing for?” Satan asked.

“I umm…” your lip started trembling and you took a deep breath to try to calm yourself. There wasn’t any way to run from this, not this time.

“Take your time,” Beel reassured you, rubbing your arm.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you guys, especially you Satan. I know that wasn’t fair.” You felt him tense up beside you, no doubt expecting the reason for your avoidance to have been due to the fact you were planning on rejecting him. But he didn’t let go of your hand either, which only made you feel more guilty.

“It’s just...I can’t...I can’t choose…” you started to fidget nervously in your seat.

Lucifer seemed to have caught on quicker than the rest, “You mean to say you have feelings for more than one of us?” You meekly nodded, keeping your head down and your eyes glued to the floor. You had absolutely no desire to see the expressions on everyone’s faces as they exchanged looks with one another.

By this point Dia was getting a bit uncomfortable. This didn’t seem like the sort of conversation he should be part of - it was between Lucifer and his brothers after all. Even though he treasured you greatly, he had never made those feelings known to you nor had you ever expressed more than friendly interest in him, so it didn’t even occur to him that he might also be involved.

“I think I’ll go ahead and head out so…”

“No..!” you called out, looking Dia right in the eye, desperate for him to stay. You were surprised at your own reaction, but you couldn’t let him leave without knowing how you felt. The only thing that would hurt worse than him knowing your feelings and rejecting you, was if he thought you didn’t care for him at all and preferred someone else to him. And you couldn’t let that happen. You at least wanted a chance to keep him as your friend.

“I...ummm…you’re part of...this…” you mumbled out as your eyes fell to the ground again.

Diavolo was caught completely off guard with your confession, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks. As was Lucifer, who for the most part had been unaware that you had been spending enough time with the Prince to have any sort of relationship.

The silence that followed was killing you. It felt so oppressive. All you could do was wait for someone else to decide to speak. You couldn’t understand why Beel was still holding you so gently, or why Satan hadn’t moved from his spot next to you, your hand still wrapped in his. It was only a matter of time, you thought, before they’d all leave one by one and you’d find yourself alone. Part of you wanted them to hurry up and go so you could wallow in your own self pity, because the other part of you wanted them all to stay and tell you how much they all loved you, and you knew that was never going to happen.

“Can I speak with them? Alone?”

“Lord Diavolo…” Lucifer had started to object, but quickly stopped himself. He could use this time to talk to Satan and Beel, and it seemed they had a lot to talk about, “Alright, we will be in my study. Let us know when you’re finished.”

Satan, who had been staring at you this whole time, glared at Lucifer for assuming he’d just go along with his suggestion. But even he could see the tender look in his eyes as he gazed at you. There was no doubt Lucifer cared for you immensely, and seeing as this was for your benefit, Satan decided to comply, giving your hand one final squeeze before making his way out of your room.

Beel was having a more difficult time letting you go. He could practically feel how upset you were, and didn’t want to leave you alone. But after looking at Lucifer and Lord Diavolo, he finally accepted that it would be alright to leave you be for just a few moments. So, giving you one last hug and a kiss to the top of your head, he followed after Satan, with Lucifer not far behind.

Now alone with you, Dia dragged his chair closer to your bed so that he was sitting right in front of you, knees nearly touching. He took the now empty glass from you and set it down on the bedside table before taking both of your hands in his own.

“This has been bothering you for some time, hasn’t it?”

“...yeah…”

“Is this why you started spending so much time at the castle?”

“Sorta. I asked Barbatos to help me learn more about Devildom baking so I could avoid everyone else,” you gave a self deprecating laugh, “But then I started spending time with you….and...well then that started to be the reason I came…”

“So you really enjoyed our time together?”

“Of course!” you replied, raising your head to meet Diavolo’s gaze. He was much closer than you were expecting, and you flushed in embarrassment. He chuckled at your reaction. You were just so cute when you got flustered, he had a hard time resisting the urge to tease you, but he’d have to save that for later.

“Then why were you so upset?”

“Because...I...realized it didn’t matter.”

“Didn’t matter? Why would you think that?”

“Because...I’m...I'm just me. A simple human. And you’re you. And I should just be happy you even put up with me or talk to me at all. And even if I told you how I felt, it wouldn’t change how I feel about them and it just didn’t seem fair to have to choose, not after Satan already confessed to me. And I know Lucifer hasn’t said anything yet, but I can tell the way he looks at me. And there is no way Satan would ever be ok with me having any sort of relationship with Lucifer. And Beel is like my best friend and I’m sure if I say anything it would just upset Belphie and I don’t want to hurt him or make Beel think he has to choose…”

You snapped your mouth shut, realizing what you had just done. You had just unloaded everything, all the secrets and worries that had plagued your heart for the past several months, you had shared it all. To say you were mortified right now would be an understatement. You truly wished the ground would just swallow you up. You’d wish for death if you thought it would make a difference, but with your luck you’d just end up right back in the Devildom.

“So what I’m hearing is you’re too busy worrying about how everyone else feels to worry about yourself?”

You nodded your head, averting your eyes.

“What do you want then?”

“...it’s selfish…”

“Then be selfish. We’re demons after all.”

“Wha…?” you looked up at Dia again and he was gazing at you softly, a small smile on his lips as he encouraged you. Was it really ok for you to just ask for that ? Would they really not hate you if you did? It didn’t seem possible for you to get everything you’d want, how could you be that lucky? Surely if you said anything, then you’d lose everything, right?

At least that’s what your human conscience was telling you.

But here sat Lord Diavolo, future king of the Devildom, telling you that it was ok to ask for whatever you wanted, in a way that suggested you just might be granted it. And you wanted so badly to believe that that would be true.

“Go on, love, tell me what you want to do.”

————

Lucifer took a seat at his desk, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms in front of himself. Finding out that you had a close relationship with Diavolo had come as a huge surprise. He had suspected that Satan had taken a liking to you, and he wasn’t at all surprised to discover that Beel was fond of you as well. But Diavolo? He wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“I assume you wanted to talk to us. So what is it?” asked Satan. He was agitated. He didn’t like the idea of leaving you alone with Lord Diavolo, especially not after it seemed that you may actually reciprocate his own feelings. But since, it appeared, he wasn’t the only one in your heart, he had to put your best interest first. And in this case that included letting you speak with Lord Diavolo while he discussed things with his brothers.

“Obviously.”

“Well?”

“First, I want to hear what your thoughts are on this matter. It’s clear that Satan has feelings for them, but what about you Beel? You’ve been quiet this whole time.”

Satan and Lucifer both turned to look at Beel who was seated in one of the large chairs near the fireplace. He raised his head to look at his brothers, before sighing and sitting back in his seat. He knew how much they cared for you. He had even started to realize when Lord Diavolo had begun to take an interest in you as even his casual interactions became more friendly. And he had decided that he was going to keep his own feelings to himself, not wanting to interfere in his brothers’ happiness. Never once had it occurred to him that he may have been causing you to suffer as a result.

“I love them,” he replied, a soft blush spreading across his cheeks. Of course he loved you. How could he not? You were just so bright in his eyes, and you brought so much hope with you. When you had told him that you wanted to help Lucifer and Belphie makeup when you had first arrived, he didn’t doubt you for a second. Even though he barely knew you at the time, he just had this feeling you’d make it happen. And the closer the two of you grew, the more deeply he trusted you, the stronger his love for you became, the more he wanted to protect you and your happiness.

“Then I suppose that makes three of us,” Lucifer said, clearing his throat.

“So? What are you suggesting we do?” asked Satan.

“That depends on them, of course. But it seems the primary reason for their struggle is because they feel unable to choose between us.”

“I already confessed directly, have you?” Satan asked, staring Lucifer down.

“I have not, and I don’t believe Beel has either,” Beel shook his head in agreement, “I think that’s irrelevant though based on the conversation we just had in their bedroom.”

Satan scoffed, walking to the other end of the room to put some distance between himself and Lucifer. Of course his brother was right. It didn’t really matter who said what first, or even who you fell in love with first. All that mattered was what you wanted. And right now, he wasn’t sure what you wanted at all.

He had to admit it did sting a little when he realized you weren’t interested in him alone. Particularly since Lucifer was one of the other parties involved. The idea of being in any sort of romantic relationship which also involved Lucifer just made his skin crawl. But despite that, the idea of losing you entirely was even more painful.

“I believe we need to decide what we would like to do if they express an interest in maintaining a relationship with all three...four...of us. Would either of you have any objections to that?”

Beel immediately shook his head. He didn’t have any issues with a polyamorous relationship, not if that’s what you wanted. He just wanted to see you happy, and he knew it would make him feel better if you were with someone else who loved you just as much as he did when he couldn’t be there. The only other concern that crossed his mind was how Belphie would react, but he knew that Belphie adored you too in his own way, and you enjoyed his company as well. So there really wasn’t any reason for Beel to say “no”.

“Satan?”

“No objections, so long as we get private time with them too.”

“Then it seems we are all agreed. We will wait to see what they decide.”

————

You wrapped your arms around Dia’s neck as he lifted you up effortlessly and spun you around, the both of you laughing. He was so glad to hear what you desired, and more than happy to do what he could to make that wish come true. You hardly asked for anything for yourself, something he found absolutely charming, but now that you confessed to him that you wanted to be his? He’d give you the whole Devildom if you asked for it. Maybe even if you didn’t.

You hid your face in his neck as you hugged him close. You were pretty sure you must be dreaming at this point, but you didn’t care. You were going to make the most of this dream for as long as it lasted. You still had the other 3 of your beloved demons to talk to, but having Dia on your side made that not seem nearly as scary now. He had given you permission to be yourself, and he didn’t shame you for it, or guilt you into changing your mind. He just listened, and accepted you with open arms.

“I want to suggest we make a break for it, and run off together, but I think Lucifer and his brothers are waiting for us.”

You pulled back to look Dia in the eyes, and smiled at him. He was even more handsome up close, and you couldn’t help but run your fingers through his hair before resting your forehead against his. You wanted to savor this moment for just a little while longer. After you left your room, there was going to be a whole host of things to discuss and negotiate. It might honestly be awhile before you’d get to have some alone time like this with him again, but you knew he was worth it. They all were. You’d figure things out one way or another, of that you were certain.

“Alright, I guess I’ve put this off long enough.”

“I probably shouldn’t carry you into Lucifer’s study, should I?”

“Probably not,” you laughed.

Diavolo set you down gently, only releasing you from his arms when he was sure you were steady on your feet. He pressed a tender kiss to your forehead before offering you his hand, and entwining his fingers with yours. He beamed at you, when he caught you staring at your joined hands, lifting them up to kiss the back of the one he was holding. You blushed at the gesture, but couldn’t help but smile when your eyes met his.

“Shall we?” he asked, leading you to your bedroom door.

————

You peered sheepishly around the corner of Lucifer’s study door before entering the room, Diavolo slightly behind you, with one hand gently resting on your lower back to encourage you. As your eyes scanned the room, Lucifer, Satan, and Beel all turned to face you, various expressions of anxiety and excitement written on their faces. You turned back to look at Dia, and he just smiled and nodded at you, guiding you inside.

“Hey…” was all you managed to squeak out.

Not wasting a moment, Beel rose to his feet and wrapped his arms about your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. He kissed the top of your head, before resting his cheek against you.

“I love you,” he whispered, “and I’m fine with whatever you want to do.” You clutched at his shirt in return, relief washing over you. He didn’t ask you any questions, he didn’t pressure you to make a choice. He just supported you like he always did, the same support you gave him. You took a deep breath, breathing in his scent, before slowly pulling away so you could see his face. He smiled at you softly, and you just felt your heart melt. How could a demon possibly be this cute? you wondered.

“I love you too,” you replied, making his smile broaden. You hadn’t said it to him yet, and hearing those words in your voice made him want to jump for joy. Caught up in the moment, you briefly forgot about the others in the room with you, until Lucifer cleared his throat. You blushed heavily when you realized you were being watched, and you could hear Dia chuckling behind you.

Beel let you go, but immediately grabbed your hand and brought you to the chair he had been sitting in earlier. You took your seat, starting to feel a bit nervous again when he stepped back, even if it only was so Lucifer and Satan could have a chance to speak with you.

They were probably the two you were most anxious about speaking with. Their relationship was complicated enough as it was, you weren’t even sure they’d want to stick you in the middle of it.

“We’ll be outside if you need us,” Dia said, more to you than anyone else, as he offered you a smile. Beel nodded to you as well, before slipping out after Diavolo to give you some privacy with Lucifer and Satan.

Lucifer nudged the coffee table over so that it was positioned in such a way that both he and Satan could sit side by side in front of you. Even after he took a seat though, Satan remained a little ways away, silent and watching. Part of Lucifer wanted to chastise him for being stubborn and troublesome, but then he remembered that Satan was the only one to openly confess to you, and as such, probably had a lot more to discuss with you, preferably in private.

“I’ll keep this brief for now,” Lucifer began, returning his attention to you and holding the hand nearest him, “But I too, love you, deeply. And I hope you will accept me. I’m willing to do whatever is needed to insure your happiness.”

You had not been expecting such an open and forward declaration of love from Lucifer, of all demons, but you could see the unbridled passion in his eyes as he looked at you and waited for your reply. All you could do was nod your head, which made Lucifer smirk, pleased that he had rendered you speechless. He leaned forward, kissing you tenderly on the lips. It was only the briefest of touches, but it contained a promise of more that made your heart race.

“We will talk more later,” he said, as he gave you one final kiss to your forehead, turning to look at Satan before he left the room.

Satan kept his eyes trained on the door to Lucifer’s study until he heard the tell-tale “click” signifying it had been locked. He then sighed, his shoulders relaxing, as he turned to face you. His mask, the carefully crafted one he often hid behind in his attempt to control his emotions, crumbled away and you could see just how exhausted he appeared. Your heart ached knowing that you were to blame for that. He had been waiting for your response to his confession for several weeks now, and you had always managed to avoid answering him.

You knew you needed to apologize to him, before anything else, so you stood up and hesitantly moved to stand before him. Fortunately for Satan, even with as close as you were, you were unable to hear the way his heart thudded rapidly against his chest. Or if you did, you didn’t mention it. Instead, you simply reached out for his hands and held them tightly, rubbing your thumbs along his knuckles.

“I’m sorry, Satan. I was...I was scared. And I acted childishly and selfishly. I should have spoken to you…”

Your apology was cut short when you suddenly felt his lips crash into yours. Taking advantage of your surprise, he wrapped one arm around your waist, pulling you close, and with the other he gently cradled your head, holding you in place. It took a moment for your brain to catch up with what was happening, but once you finally realized you quickly looped your arms around Satan’s neck and deepened the kiss. You could feel him smiling against your lips when you did so, happy tears starting to spill from your eyes.

“I love you,” you whispered, when you finally broke away for air, “I’m sorry for not talking to you.”

Satan rested his forehead against yours, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of your neck, “I guess you’ll have to make it up to me,” he teased.

“I guess so,” you laughed, before pulling back to look him in the eyes, “Are you sure you’re ok with this? With Lucifer and everyone I mean.”

“I won’t lie and say I wouldn’t prefer to have you all to myself. But,” he paused, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear, “but I’m willing to work with you, to try to find a compromise we can all be happy with.”

“Really?” you could feel your tears threatening to spill again as your heart started to overflow with joy.

“Really. Will you promise me something though?”

“Of course, anything,” you said, wiping at your eyes, trying to fight off your tears.

“That you will talk with me if things change. And that we will be able to spend time together, just the two of us.”

Your vision blurred with tears, unable to hold them back any longer, “I promise. I’ll talk to you. About everything.”

“Good,” he whispered, gently kissing away your tears as they slid down your cheeks. You couldn’t stop smiling now if you even were to try. You threw your arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as you could manage, hoping to convey even a fraction of your happiness to him. When you felt him hug you back tightly, arms wrapped around your waist, you knew you had been successful.

Against all odds, and despite your fumbling attempts at dealing with your own emotions, you had managed to get everything you had wanted. Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined things working out this way. Your arrival in the Devildom had been a lonely one. But you weren’t alone anymore. Not now, not ever.

[ifyouknowwhatsright]

some cheap swaps you can make to be more eco friendly, because sometimes it’s a prevelidge to be able to make these decisions (none of these ideas are fresh or spicy, this is intended as more of a master post) :

•thrift instead of “shop”. Fast fashion brands (new look, primark, h&m, top shop, etc) are AWFUL for the environment. They may be less easy to access for some people but thrifing is often cheaper and stops perfectly good used clothes from ending up on a landfill.

•staying on the subject of clothes, if your clothes are too damaged to be donated, there are plenty of ways you can repurpose them! my personal favourite is making them into rags because it’s super easy but you can do a bunch of super creative stuff with old clothes for next to no cost! you can make art, make dog toys, blankets. the possibilities are basically endless

•bamboo toothbrushes are slightly pricier than plastic ones, but in my experience they do last longer which makes them more cost effective after all, and bamboo grows super quick so it’s one of the best materials you can use to save the environment

•walk where you can (or cycle if you have a bike). This one is not revolutionary. it costs nothing to walk and it’s better for the environment than taking a car or bus. if you have to use some other mode of transport, always try and take public (please be safe with covid, wear a mask and don’t take unnecessary risk) or car share

•Reusable water bottles. They will save SO much money in the long term. SO much money. and SO much plastic. whilst we’re on the topic, if you have any single use plastic water bottles you can repurpose them for so many things. you can use them to make self watering plants, use them in art, or even just reusing them as water bottles is better than throwing them away after one use

•this one is slightly more expensive. this is what i mean when i say it’s a priveledge to be eco friendly sometimes. people who menstruate, if you can, i would highly recommend in investing in reusable period products. i hated the menstual cup, but period underwear of reusable pads are also options. they are expensive imo (minimum wage doesn’t leave me with a whole lot) but saving up for them has saved me SO much money and so much waste

•again, not revolutionary but reusable bags. you can get them for hella cheap, they can be fashion statements, and if you always keep one in your bag or your car or whatever, you’ll cut down on so much plastic waste over your life time

•this may be the most expensive one on my list, but if you shave, getting a reusable shaver is MAGICAL. imo it gives a much better shave and you need to replace the blades so much less frequently than you’d have to replace a disposable razor. the one i use is £20, but you can get them for slightly cheaper. i’ve made my money back with this one over only a few months

•eat less meat. again, this can be a priveledge for some, but i’ve been able to make some veggie/vegan meals for much cheaper than meat alternatives. they can be tastier and i can’t stress enough how AWFUL meat farming is for the environment. it’s so bad. SO bad

•the last one, and possibly my favourite, protest. no matter what people tell you, it is not the individuals who are destroying the planet, it is the companies, the governments, the billionaires. where you can do so, stand up to these assholes, voice your opinion. sign petitions. if you can afford to, donate to charities who are doing the same thing.

i want to stress for you not to feel guilty if you can’t do anything on this list. for so many people it is so hard to be able to do these things. some of them aren’t accessible. i can’t remember where i heard this quote, so if anyone knows please tell me and i’ll credit it, but one of my favourite things i’ve heard in relation to all this is “you can never do all the good the world needs, but the world needs all the good you can do” ((EDIT: thank you @one-hand-feel!! it’s a youtuber called Shelbizleee!! she makes amazing videos please watch her ))

also i’m such a small tumblr no one will see this but if anyone does and they want some more ideas, which are probably slightly more expensive but definitely more “out of the box” then let me know :)

[just-someomega-punk]

Behaviors in Heats and Ruts

Omegas will begin to try and find and/or create a safe space even before the first symptoms of the heat hit. That behavior is known as nesting. Said nest is usually built in a comfortably small place, with dim lighting. Single Omegas tend to collect items that belong to their family or/and friends (in other words, someone who they recognize as a pack) for comfort. Sometimes even a trusted friend or family member can be brought into the nest to help the Omega take care of themselves. The practice however is purely platonic. Neither of those two practices does occur in Omegas who want to spend a heat with a partner. Omegas with a partner (or rare multiple partners) spend their heat with only them and rely only on their help in meeting their basic needs. If a relationship is sexual, an Omega will build the nest with only their partners' items (and/or courting gifts given to them) as it's considered alluring in nature.

While an Omega in heat may be feverish and appear drugged or not all-there, they are not at all defenseless. In fact, it's their most animalistic and primal state. If an Omega deems you incompatible for whatever reason, they will not let you get close. Even Alphas (as in, the most affected dynamic) are respectful of such decision (side note, some incompatibility works both ways, some only one. The outcome tends to be the same in that situation - no compatibility no mating). However, if one tries to force an unwilling Omega in heat, it's not unusual for that person to be severely hurt - as if bitten, scratched, etc. As mentioned before, an Omega in heat is very feral and will not hold back. Such disrespectful individuals in old times were usually spotted missing eyes or chunks of their body - then they were promptly exiled from the pack, as such violation was never tolerated.  Even in modern times, the law states that threatened Omegas in heat can in fact use every defense that they deem necessary without legal repercussions.

Heats are not really painful per se. Omegas don't really experience our cramps during the heat, even if not mated - though it's very uncomfortable and stressful for them still. 

Alphas are naturally the dynamics that is the most attracted to an Omegas scent - Betas and Omegas tend to be less affected but it still works on them. It's just that heat is a thing that is very much fertility based and chances falling pregnant with a dynamic goes Alpha->Beta->Omega.

Heat smell can be in fact so powerful that even dynamics normally not attracted to Omegas at all can feel the need to breed with them. It is though much less prominent and they do come back to being themselves after the fact. Let's put it that way - the act at the time is more important than the person the act is performed with. Even so, mating between an Omega in heat and someone who is not attracted to them normally is very uncommon.

Important: Family members (Alphas included) do not get affected by an Omegas heat scent. In fact, the scent may be slightly unpleasant for them. Incest is still very much incest in my ABO - it's still unnatural and taboo to see family members that are attracted to each other's scent - related by blood or not.  Hell, it is not uncommon at all that people who were only raised together (as in, childhood friends for example) are not attracted to each other scents. That's why in old times kids usually left their parents packs to start their own.

First heat, or even few first heats tend to be more uncomfortable than sexual in nature. Such heat may be weaker (as if, the Omega being fully conscious but still very uncomfortable), or stronger (as if, making Omega barely-there and having them require being taken care of) than "full-grown" heat. It's just a very different experience, body first getting used to being an "adult".

Now, ruts are not really sexual in nature. Alphas in ruts tend to be restless and more aggressive - marking their perceived territory and challenging other Alphas that they feel are a "threat" to them. It's mostly a way of ensuring and securing their own place in the pack. Unmated Alphas tend to look for a challenge in other single alphas, meanwhile mated ones are in a hard "protect and take care of my family" mode.

Alphas in rut are usually seen as a threat by other dynamics, though some compatible with Alpha in rut may in fact find their scent both threatening and arousing. Alphas in a rut are indeed more sexually active, though it tends to be more of a... Side effect.

Alphas love spending their ruts in safe spaces - like nests belonging to a loving Omega. While they naturally spend their whole rut agitated and ready to fight, such a state of being is tiring to them, and so an Omega creating/opening their safe space for them tends to be big energy and comfort boost for them.

While young Alphas don't typically recognize their Alpha parents as a threat (an Alpha parent is mostly recognized as a "top Alpha" in the household so out of the respect for them, they won't attack even if felt challenged), it is ill-advised for the Alpha parent to visit a young Alpha's safe space without permission. This may lead to unwanted aggression or long term distrust.

It is common for Alpha siblings to fight with each other during ruts. Fights are not usually serious and are more strength-testing in spirit, it's still best for growing Alphas to have a room for themselves.

Alphas in rut are rarely really aggressive towards Betas or Omegas since, in Alpha's mind, they are not really recognized as a threat. Betas/Omegas that are strangers and invading an Alphas territory however are an entirely different matter.

A non-typical rut appears when an Alphas partner is not around in the long term. Their hormones basically go into crisis mode since everything in an Alpha screams that their mate is missing or dead. Their instinct believes that there should be their mate’s scent all over the apartment but there's nothing there so they slowly go deeper and deeper into freak-out mode. 

It's called a non-typical rut because it looks the same as a rut for the most part - the Alpha appearing agitated, behaving aggressively,  obsessively scent marking their territory, probably also scenting their friends and surroundings a lot. It's an instinct thing so even if an Alpha objectively knows that their mate is okay, the non-typical rut may still hit them like a train. Alphas are more of a pack creatures than Omegas and Betas since it's in their instincts to lead and take care of people; so it's recommended for them to not live alone and/or to have some Beta/Omega scent around the house. Living with their own scent alone for years may cause something that appears very similar to anxiety in an Alpha - being extra vigilant, on edge, and subconsciously stressed out.

Something similar to a non-typical rut happens in Omegas that live apart from their mate but the symptoms are drastically different and harder to spot. Basically, an Omega will appear spaced out and closed off. They may also gaze off into the windows or doors a lot, as if expecting their mate to just walk in any second. It's also an instinctual response and basically cannot be calmed just by indirect contact - such as texting or calling their mate. 

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Any tips got people starting their creative writing degree in September? Xxx

oh this is a great question!! sometimes I forget I will literally be an upper year next year :) how did this happen :) still feel like I’m in grade 9 :) lol! but I do have tips!

1. Trust in the process

Okay, this sounds a little gimmicky, but what I mean is, let things happen the way they’re going to happen. I was extremely prepared when I entered first year, and even more prepared for second year, and I’m not saying this is a bad thing--in fact, I recommend having something small (even an idea) at the ready, just in case of emergency writer’s block, time constraints, etc, but I’d love to go back in time and tell myself to chill! I wanted so badly to experience the idea of the Ideal Writing Degree Experience, and so kind of missed out on the actual (great) experience I had in front of me! so let it happen! Take creative risks! stray from your plan if your gut is telling you to!

2. Get involved

In first year, I found it SO helpful to get involved in writer events, or clubs on my campus. I joined my department’s lit journal (which I shall be managing in the fall!) as an intern, and made sure to attend most, if not all the writing events they had on campus, including general fine arts mixers. Though I am a super introverted person, it was actually super fun to make connections, and even so, just make memories of faces that I could later recognize on campus. This is also super helpful for getting to know people in your program! On orientation day, I really tried to huddle with some other Writing undergrads, and that was super fun because we just chatted about our writing backgrounds, etc! If you’re anxious like me, coming up with literal talking points could be helpful the night before, kind of like an “About Me” refresh?? Like, oh my name is Rachel and I write literary fiction, also I am from Toronto, would be what I would say in case someone asked (usually people were very excited to hear I was from out of province lol so this worked as a great talking point!). ALSO!! off campus events! go to readings! Readings are 100% more accessible to attend where I go to school versus where I live at home, and so I def took advantage of this by making sure to go out to multiple literary events! It’s nice to make connections, chat with the readers, or even other audience members! Usually people asked me if I was a student and what program I was in, etc, and because being a Writing major is kind of a Fun Thing To Be at a reading, this was always a great talking point!

3. Remember your writing degree is still work

I know a lot of creative degree pals give this advice to remind undergrads that their creative work for school is still work so they should sit down and do it rather than leaving it to the last minute, but I kind of like to flip this idea on its head by saying: it’s okay to prioritize your “non-academic” work versus your “traditionally academic” work! For example, I took many, many English classes this year, and put about 20x more of my time into those classes than my literal writing classes. I am a writing major?? lol! I could’ve gotten an English degree closer to home?? I did not come here for this?? I think it was easy for me to write off putting time into my writing classes because I was “good at that” and “needed to focus on my academic work” (whatever academic even means), but if you’re there for writing, don’t be afraid to actually... do your writing?? Fighting internalized stigma about my own degree is something I still work on! It’s still work! Which means it’s hard, and you should take breaks (and extensions if necessary/if you can) just like with any other work.

4. If you want to, prep a little

Like I mentioned above, this could be a helpful thing to do, though I do caution over preparation because that was me!! and I feel like one may learn more if they have more room to fail (which sometimes preparation reduces?) but this is also dependent on the type of person and student you are, so disregard if necessary! When I entered first year, I didn’t prep actual work, but made sure I knew what was expected of me so I could mentally prepare myself, haha. I knew there were 5 assignments for 5 different genres (because of COVID they actually axed 1 genre which I am GRATEFUL for rip playwriting), so I kept this in mind throughout the term. If I got an idea for a poem but knew we wouldn’t be doing poetry for the next term, I’d write the poem in advance, or write down the idea. A little bit of prep can help alleviate stress especially if you’re transitioning out of high school, but I do tend to overdo it!

5. SUBMIT your work!!!

This is also totally okay NOT to do if you don’t want to publish your work, but if you are interested in curating a portfolio, it doesn’t hurt to start submitting your work early to literary magazines! I know some people are too nervous to send out their work in first year, but if you’re comfortable with it and want to, go for it! I submitted my work for the first time in first year, and got 2 stories published. If you want to be published, you don’t have to wait for upper years to put your work out there! If you have a piece you like, send it out! This also includes on-campus writing contests if your school runs these. I entered one not thinking anything of it and won first place (HOW), and these experiences were fantastic in shaping my experience in the program and also showing me submitting your work is not so scary!

6. Talk to your profs and TAs

Y’ALL I did not realize how much I talk to my profs and TAs and how much the pandemic took that away from me! It’s so critical to form relationships with the people who are teaching you, not only because they’ll help you to shape your work, but also because they’re a great start to networking! In first year, I sat down with my TAs or prof for literally every single piece I wrote, and the amount I learned is astronomical. I guess this depends on your program, but generally, writing programs are generative based rather than super lecture heavy, and you learn by doing hands-on work (workshops, etc). I learned so much (sometimes, even more) by talking to my teachers. They want to help you and it’s a great way to get to know them. I only attended office hours once in COVID (and it was Zoom office hours), and I certainly feel a difference in my experience. Reach out! When I took an intro journalism course, my prof line-edited every one of my pieces by hand, and while it was nerve-wracking because she is a fantastic writer and a tough critic (and literally right in front of me), it was so rewarding when she’d point out where I’d improved. She was also great at taking her time to explain how I could better my piece. You can’t do that if you’re sitting in a 200 person lecture, but you can if you take some time for a one on one! Highly recommend if you can (coming from someone with social anxiety)!

7. Make friends

I will admit it! I still have not done a great job at this lol. But if you can, try to reach out to your peers. You’re all there to learn, and it’s actually so fantastic to meet likeminded people! My peers are incredibly talented, smart individuals, and when we’re in person, I’d love to chat with them more! In first year, it can be scary to reach out, which is why I did this minimally, though I still made an attempt to jump out of my comfort zone whenever possible. It’s nice to recognize faces on campus and wave at people/have a short conversation before you head into class. Like I said, I interned for my on campus lit journal in first year, so I had to reach out a few times to my classmates to participate in events etc, so this was actually kind of easier for me since I had a lil ~motive that allowed me to muster the courage to chat with people! It could be as easy as joining in on a convo of a subject of interest (for example, a lot of people at my school especially in my program, love D&D. I have no idea what that is/how that works, but if I did, this might be something to talk about if you love it also)! Also - follow people on social media if you can find them, or start a group chat!

8. Don’t be afraid to speak up for your needs

This will be my last tip, and it might be the scariest tip of all, but if you are not happy with how something is going in your degree/classes, speak up about it! If something is not accessible to you, don’t be afraid to speak out about that. Idk if it’s just me, but I’ve been advocating for the betterment of my education since elementary school (why am I like this loooool), but especially in university, you’d be surprised by how receptive some people can be! Shoot your prof or TA an email if you have concerns, and see what they say. Rarely, they can be assholes, but most of the time, they’ll try to work with you to make your class experience better. This is why I also recommend filling out your course evals. Most great profs really want their students to enjoy their classes and succeed, so don’t be nervous to speak out about your needs if xyz isn’t being met.

hope that helps!