#they got me fucked up and it's not even premiere yet

[freewayshark]

Going to have to literally put my phone elsewhere or I’m gonna be on it all night

[momentia]

okay so this morning i had a little epiphany that i wouldn’t have hated this storyline a year ago (and in fact enjoyed basically the same thing when it happened last season) and that it’s a combination of the timing and the character’s name and how fucking raised my hackles are about the ultimate intentions of any arrogant man trying to break through a damaged woman’s very justified emotional armor (yes i know it’s fiction but it’s pinging weird)... like i hope i’ll be fine with it now that i’ve realized this lmao like i couldn’t care less about this tv show in the long run i guess but i have more compassion for myself suddenly for how viscerally this clearly-meant-to-be-fun subplot disgusts me when it shows up in the middle of my dumb crime show ANYWAY GOOD MORNING

[lecl3rcw]

KEEPING UP WITH THE LECLERCS | leclerc brothers x reader

_______________________

part 1

“Y/N, it’s the middle of the fucking night in Monaco? You better have a good ass reason too wake me up” Arthur groaned at his twin as he groggily.

“You won’t believe it.” She says

“What?”

“THE BENGALS INVITED ME TO THEIR GAME” she says, a sudden burst of excitement ran through her

“Who are the bengals again?” He sighs

“….”

“Oh wait, it’s that one dude you like, what was his name again Joe Burrow?”

“YEAH AND GET THIS, I can bring up to 5 people, so you’re coming and so are Charles, Alex, Lorenzo and Maman” she says excitedly.

“Who says I’m going?” He says, earning himself a scowl.

“You don’t want to come?” She says, “well I mean not really”

“Ofcourse you don’t! I always show up for your events and you never show up for mine” she says, maliciousness lacing her tone.

“Y/N please, this isn’t your event, you’re not walking the runway or attending a premiere” he says, his tone now matching hers.

“Well even if I was, not like you’d show up anyways” she mutters.

“What are you yapping about? You’re being so dramatic, I mean not everything revolves around you okay? Some of us have actual problems” he says giving the final blow.

The girl takes a deep breath to collect her self. All her life she had spent living in the shadows of her siblings. She just wanted someone to show up for her, she remembers her first runway show, she had 4 seats reserved for her family yet when she walked out, all 4 of those chairs were empty, why? Because Charles had a last minute deals with a brand. They called and apologized and Ofcourse she put a brave face on, but only the walls of her room heard the way she cried herself to sleep that night.

“You know what? I’m going to let that slide, I don’t know what’s going on with you but I hope you make peace with yourself, and you don’t have to come, I’ll just ask Charles and Enzo. But anyways goodnight” she says

“Y/N-” Arthur tries to interrupt but she hangs up before he can say anything.

Had she overreacted? She felt a sudden rush of guilt overcome her. She couldn’t help but overthink. Her train of thoughts were interrupted by a FaceTime call from her brother's girlfriend.

"Hey babygirl" Alexandra says, "Hey bae, what's up?" she says propping her phone up on the table.

“Just checking in with you and your man situation” Alex says, her and Charles were in the Maldives, “oh it’s good, I got invited to the bengals game so” she replies, “WAIT THATS SO GOOD” Alex says excitedly, Y/N smiles.

“Do you and Charles want to come with me?” She asks hopeful, “well Charles will be preparing for his race but I can definitely come!! When is it?” She asks, “next week!”

“Oh yeah I can definitely make it!” She says,

“Ok we can fly together!! But I I’ll see you next week love ya!” She says hanging up.

The week came even before she could blink.

“So Y/N you excited?” Alexandra says, and Y/N nods.

When they arrive at the stadium, Y/N is immediately greeted by the bengals team.

“Thankyou so much for being our guest, I’m the head coach Zac Taylor” a man says reaching his hand to which she smiles and accepts.

“This is my friend Alexandra!” She says as Alex also shakes his hand, from the corner of her eye, Y/N could feel a certain pair of blue eyes stare at her, and her cheek flushed more.

She waves to the rest of the team, however the man with blue eyes seems to approach her first. “Hey, my name is Joe, I’m the quarterback” he says extending his hand, “I’m going to be honest, I have no idea what that it” Y/N chuckles shaking his hand which caused him to smile.

“Well if you umm give me your number maybe some time could teach you about football” he says very smoothly, which causes her to get flustered.

“Oh yeah, d-definitely! Here” she says giving him her number as he smiles, “you have such a beautiful smile” Joe says bringing up her hand to his lips before letting it go, “I’ll talk to you later” he says waving before going to get ready for his game. She just stands there in shock wondering what happened.

Alexandra squeals, “I saw that!! Y/N he so likes you” she says hugging the girl.

Y/N laughs and shakes her head, but the whole time she couldn’t take her eyes of him.

joeyb_9 started following you

y/n.leclerc

y/n.leclerc modeling for Dior has always been a dream of mine, so thankful to take this huge step into my career with the most amazing photographers, stylists, and makeup artists🫶🏻

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, joeyb_9, charles_leclerc, and 13,000,000 others

alexandrasaintmleux mami😍

^ y/n.leclerc kiss me rn😍

charles_leclerc alex has been staring at the phone for the past 15 minutes….

^ y/n.leclerc sounds like a you problem bud😪

fan1 NOT JOE BURROW LIKING?!!?!

^ fan2 IK HE NEVER LIKES

joeburrowswife idk I don’t see the hype

^ y/n2fine yet she’s pulling your “man”

rachelzegler welcome to the squad Y/N❤️

^ y/n.leclerc Thankyou rach💕🥹

bellahadid weird way to propose but yes😍

^ y/n.leclerc SHE SAID YES YALL💍👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | March 18th-24th 2024

It's a long one today folks! I hope you enjoy! :) If you know anyone who's not tagged, don't hesitate to let me know!

idk 'bout you but I can't wait for the final part of the premiere on Thursday!!! 😃

Complete

anything that is beautiful, people want to break. by dylaesthetics (Post-Coma, Trans Buck | 3K | Teen): Buck has never meant to keep it a secret from the one-eighteen. Hell, he trusts them with much more gritty, uncomfortable stuff than that. It’s more like… It hasn’t come up. There’s been no reason for it to come up. But then he gets struck by lightning and the mix-up with his medical records happens. A nurse he hasn’t seen yet barges into Buck’s hospital room, with his entire family in it, blood and found alike, and stares at him for one dumbfounded moment before blurting out a name he hasn’t been addressed by in well over eight years. 

not flesh and blood but the heart by Jinko / @jinkohhh (Post-S6, Getting Together | 10K | Explicit): Five times people assumed Chris was Buck's son + one time Eddie confirmed it.

🔥 don’t wanna let you love somebody else but me by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (S7 Spec, Bachelor Party, Pretend Relationship | 14K | Teen): or, chris wants dating advice and it turns out taking your best friend on a pretend date to practice being as romantic as possible is not a good idea in theory or in practice, considering the pesky being-in-unrequited-love of it all

A Little Bit of the Bubbly by Jinko/ @jinkohhh (Post-S6, PWP, Getting Together | 7K | Explicit): Since turning 30, Buck's relationship with champagne has changed. It also manages to change his relationship with Eddie.

washed away (but not) by Jinko / @jinkohhh (S7 Spec | 3K | Teen): “Well, this is awkward.” Every part of Buck wanted to tell Chim to go fuck himself, but he couldn’t, so he didn’t. Nothing made a situation more awkward than pointing out the awkwardness of it. “So which one of you two made the deathbed love confession?” Ravi laughed, and frankly, Ravi could go fuck himself, too. The both of them could go fuck themselves because both Chimney and Ravi were correct.

i like the way you scratch my itch by oklahoma/ @sunshinediaz (BTHB: Hives | 3K | Teen): Buck’s big blue eyes sparkle. “You’re so cute, did you know that?” he asks, leaning close enough Eddie can count the small red-brown-orange freckles all across his nose. “Even when you’re red from poison ivy.” Red. Red from the poison ivy. Yeah, yep, that’s exactly what he’s so red for. Absolutely.

meet you in the middle. by dylaesthetics (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): OR buck and eddie get their shit together during a regular friday movie night at the diaz house.

🔥 Even in Winter There is Eranthis by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels / @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Hades/Persephone AU | 45K | Explicit): Buck is supposedly a god. Supposedly. But he's got no idea what his domain is or what role he plays in Olympus. When he meets Christopher, a young boy lost and trying to find his father, he helps Chris get home - and ends up accidentally binding himself to the Underworld. Now bound to Eddie, the god of the dead, Buck must spend half the year with him in the Underworld while winter reigns above. But even as something grows between them, there are still trials to endure. Just because the gods are not mortal... does not mean they cannot die.

🔥 My Blood on Your Skin (My Rose on Your Snow) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Mythological AU, BDSM | 80K | Explicit): When Eddie needs cash and fast to take care of Christopher, his LAFD Academy buddy suggests a job as a bouncer at Elysium - an exclusive sex club in downtown Los Angeles. Eddie doesn't care what goes on there, so long as he's paid, but he finds he cares a lot bout the club's enigmatic owner, Evan Buckley, and it's not long before the two of them are violating every boss-employee rule in the book. But there's something different about Buck and the club, something not quite... human. If Eddie wants to keep Buck, he's going to have to delve into the world of immortals, and all the risks that implies.

and check out the amazing podfic!! 🔥 My Blood on Your Skin (My Rose on Your Snow) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314

hold tight, you’re slowly coming back to life by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (S7E01 Coda, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Eddie runs into Natalia at the grocery store. He learns something about her and Buck’s breakup that gives him the final push to take care of his own complicated love life.

🔥 miracles under your sighs and moans by napricot (Sex Pollen, PWP | 21K | Explicit): When Eddie gets exposed to an experimental aphrodisiac on a call, he realizes there’s only one person he trusts to help him get through it: Buck.

Touch Me and I'll Scream by rogerzsteven/ @rogerzsteven (BTHB: Unhealthy Coping Mecanisms, Established Buddie | 5K | Mature): At his low, Buck uses rough sex as a way of self harm.

in another life by bellabrady (Coma AU | 2K | Not Rated): Or: Buck's in a coma and dreams of a life where Daniel never died and he never became a firefighter.

Locations by rogerzsteven/ @rogerzsteven (BTHB: Vomiting, Drowning | 4K | General): In which Buck drowns.

I was born to take care of you by Beulaugh/ @if-music-be-the-food-of-love (Getting Together | 3K | Mature): Buck has a revelation at work and then promptly falls on his face. Eddie Diaz's ass: 1, Evan Buckley: 0

hold the silence. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6 | 3K | Teen): OR while looking for clothes to donate, Buck stumbles upon the shirt he was wearing when Eddie got shot.

Tomorrow we can drive around this town by lamardeuse/ @lamardeuse (S7 Spec, Drunk Eddie | 4K | Mature): If Eddie had been sober, he would have realized it wasn't something to be happy about. But drunk as he was, it had the blood singing in his veins, because Buck was going home with him, not Tommy. Tommy could go fuck himself – or you know, anyone else who was willing, but not Evan Buckley. Because Eddie was a pathetic, sloppy drunk and his best friend had a responsibility to make sure he didn't choke on his own vomit or drown himself in the bathroom sink.

sang to the sea for feelings deep blue by Tizniz/ @tizniz (S7 Spec, Cruise Ship Emergency | 14K | General): God, he hopes Buck got out. That he isn’t trying to get to Eddie. That he gets to go home. And not just because Christopher needs him, although he does since Eddie is fairly certain he’s not making it home this time. He doesn’t let himself dwell too long on that thought. No, Eddie wants Buck to go home because he deserves it. Because Buck deserves to live. Because Eddie needs him to live.

you've got game by browney3dgirl6/ @hoodie-buck (S7E01 Coda, Established Buddie | 1K | General): a silly little late night conversation about chris being a 'ladies man'

take this life and make it yours (take this heart and let it love again) by Maira/ @carrierofthepaperclips (Canon Divergent, Post-Coma | 31K | Mature): Before he could second guess it, he’d dialled Eddie’s number and listened to it ring in his ear. As soon as he heard the click of the connection, he said, “Eddie, what the hell, man?” “I meant what I said. I don’t know who you think you are, but call this number again and I will contact the police.” . . . or, the one where Buck finally figures out he's in love with Eddie, only for things to not go as planned. At first.

if i bleed, you'll be the last to know by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (S7, Hurt Buck | 6K | Teen): buck gets stabbed while out on a run and then... doesn't tell anyone about it. eddie loses his shit when he finds out, they have a moment in the kitchen and they kiss.... not necessarily in that order.

Baby, take me by 42hrb / @exhuastedpigeon (S7E01 Coda, Getting Together | 4K | Explicit): “Same thing,” Eddie nuzzled him, stubble scratching even more as he moved his face. When he stopped nuzzling, he pulled back far enough that he could see Buck’s face. “I said stop thinking.” “Kinda hard to turn my brain off.” “Pretty sure I turned it off just fine last night,” Eddie said with a smirk that went straight to Buck’s cock, already half hard just from the way Eddie’s stubble is dragging across his skin. “Is that how I get you to stop thinking?”

when you call me yours by browney3dgirl6/ @hoodie-buck (Established Buddie, Proposal | 5K | General): Buck starts calling Eddie his husband. Only problem...they're not engaged. aka the 5 times Buck refers to Eddie as his husband and the 1 time Eddie makes it true.

just lay back in my arms for one more night by diazbegins/ @evanbegins (Established Buddie, Fluff | 2K | Teen): Buck loves Eddie as he naps.

Brat Burrito by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Established Buddie | 1K | General): Just a cute Buddie moment about breakfast burritos.

it's a sliding into home kind of day by devirnis/ @devirnis (PWP | 3K | Explicit): Eddie’s eyes still don’t leave the television. Frowning to himself, Buck cranes his neck to get a look at what could possibly be more important than him coming home after covering a tragically Eddie-less shift. A baseball game evidently is the answer.

your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep by BekkaChaos/ @bekkachaos (New Years Eve, Getting Together | 8K | Teen): aka, Eddie's in love with Buck and he doesn't know how to tell him, until there's a miscommunication and fate (well, Hen) intervenes.

Loose Threads by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Secret Relationship | 3K | Explicit): New to dating and keeping it quiet, Buck and Eddie get a little carried away on a slower shift at the firehouse. But when the alarm eventually sounds, a spur of the moment mistake leaves them a little mixed up.

Married Life by buddiefication (pumpkincreamcoldbrew)/ @911onabc (S5, Getting Together | 2K | General): Taylor films Buck for a TikTok challenge, and Buck finds out he would much rather be his best friend’s husband than his girlfriend’s.

A Seal By Any Other Name (Would Still Be My Best Friend) by bigfootsmom (Seal!Buck, Post-Tsunami | 5K | General): Evan "Buck" Buckley is a collection of oddities. But they're just what makes Buck Buck and Eddie loves him for them. Eddie had thought that after their years of friendship (and maybe something more) that nothing Buck could do would surprise him anymore. But there is one oddity that Eddie never saw coming. “How about you start with why there was a seal in my bathtub and now there’s just you in my bathtub.” (Part 1 of Seal!Buck as in the aquatic mammal)

Just Add Water by bigfootsmom (Seal!Buck, Tsunami | 3K | General): There may be more to Buck than meets the eye. But he's still only human(ish) and getting stuck in a natural disaster with his best friend's son is still all sorts of terrifying. A small hysterical part of his brain thinks about how ironic it would be if this was how he died. Him, a mythical aquatic creature, drowning. The universe would surely laugh and the long line of Buckley ancestors would turn in their graves. (Part 2 of Seal!Buck as in the aquatic mammal)

you can be my daddy (come on, you know you like) by bigfootsmom (Getting Together, Daddy Kink | 4K | Mature): Buck has a teeny tiny problem. One, he's in love with his best friend. Two, he wants to call said best friend Daddy.

It's the softness that breaks you by bigfootsmom (BDSM, Hurt/Comfort | 6K | Explicit): Or the one where Buck has more issues with intimacy than he had originally thought.

lay your love on me by bigfootsmom (PWP, Getting Together | 3K Explicit): Buck never thought the words he said to Eddie in the kitchen would ever come back to haunt him like this. Honestly, he’s not complaining.

you made me feel (i've got nothing to hide) by bigfootsmom (Virgin!Buck, Established Buddie, PWP | 8K | Explicit): Buck has a secret: Contrary to popular belief, Evan "Buck" Buckley is actually a virgin.

WIP

🔥 Right Where You Left Me by hyacinthusbloom/ @thebloomingheather (Canon Divergent, Post-S4, Angst | 22/? | 162K | Explicit | ❗️Warning: Rape/Non-con): "Therapy?" Eddie suggests. Buck almost laughs, but instead says, "I'll go if you go." Because he had fully expected him to be chicken shit, to disagree, and instead Eddie, the bastard, replies, "Deal." Or Buck never tells anyone that he slept with his therapist and deals with the butterfly effect years later.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 6/18 | 37K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 122/? | 374K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

[rubra-wav]

Hiya! I absolutely loved your posts about the HH main cast dealing with a sick reader and them being sick. You did a phenomenal job with them!

As for a request, what about Vox, hell’s resident bipedal tv, hc’s of him realizing he’s legitimately falling for reader?

Vox realises he has feelings for you

A/N : Thank you so much seriously!! 💛

Cw: SFW, gn!reader, suggestive comment at one point, angst-ish/ Vox coping

- It'll be a good long time before he realises he's fallen for you, and when he finally does, he's fully in it. There's no turning back and there's no backpedalling. He's absolutely whipped.

- It hits him one day like a train that he's actually in love with you all at once.

- He hung out with you the afternoon, and that night he's laying on his back with his phone gripped in his hand against his chest.

- It's been exactly 3 and a half hours since you were out together on a movie date at the VIP premiere. (as in in the ridiculously lavish movie room he had within Vee tower)

- He had been counting.

- You hadn't texted him back yet, and he was tapping his claw impatiently waiting for you to message him back with the world's biggest pout on his face.

- He'd already sent 4 texts, and none of them had been answered yet. He had to stop himself from sending more because he didn't want to seem too desperate. (Even though he was)

- He told himself he'd be mad that you had made him wait whenever you got back to him. He'd blow up over it.

- However, the second his phone buzzes and he sees the notification from you saying you had fun and were sorry you hadn't gotten back immediately it's like his dopamine receptors have been kicked into absolute overdrive.

- He's giddy. Warmth is flooding his chest, and he starts breathing heavier as the world's dorkiest smile spreads across his face.

- It isn't then that he realises exactly, but it's when you leave to go to sleep after texting him for a couple of hours with a flirtatious comment that has his head spinning and sparking.

- You were talking about how you'd washed your sheets that day and were making your bed. He acted like he was bored, and your next words absolutely took him out.

- "Fine. Next time, come over, and I'll spread you out on my bed then."

- When he calms down, it's messed up again as he's questioning himself.

- Why did I glitch out to them saying something that resembles a shitty pick-up line? Why did I count every minute that passed the second you went home? Why do I feel like I'm on drugs the second you pay me the slightest bit of attention.

- OH FUCK -

- He goes through all stages of grief as he realises he's in love with you in a single second and ends up causing a blackout in his bedroom in the process.

- When he roboots, he holds his head in his hands and chugs delulu juice instantly feels absolutely terrified.

- It's humiliating for him to have such delicate feelings, let alone for someone who surely doesn't feel the same way. His experiences with real, genuine romantic love for other people have hardly ended well.

- He likely tries to distance himself from you because he's scared of the fact he is so attached to you.

- It's been ages and ages of being attached to you but he's only fully realised - or at least fully acknowledged the extent of that attachment.

- His distance from you is shortly lived however as he craves you and your presence so badly he's disgusted at himself.

- He would not be the one to confess 9 times out of 10.

- Even if it's glaringly obvious you are also into him, he copes so fucking hard he's actually delusional with the excuses he makes about it.

- He basically friendzones HIMSELF.

- You could kiss him on the cheek or hold his hands in yours or cup his face lovingly and he would be there glitching while thinking about how you must just be like this with everyone else-

- He's charismatic, charming, and can often read everyone around him like an open book - analyse their behaviours, true intentions, expressions, thoughts under it all, etc.

- But he's so terribly stupid with love.

- You need to confess to him first most likely and he'll probably still think you're bullshitting him.

- Literally finds every reason of why you aren't in love with him and tries to twist everything that way.

- Even when he's in love, he wants it to be reciprocated obviously. The thought of it not being requited as he expects is embarrassing at best.

- But, he's genuinely probably even more terrified of what that means if you do love him back.

- It's easier if you don't love him back for him because he's scared of the way you might further bring out whatever imperfections and vulnerability he's shown you already after actually being in a relationship with you.

- He craves being in a relationship with you and the security you could bring him to expose those parts of himself he desperately conceals with masks resting on masks, but also its deeply unnerving to him simultaneously.

Infuriating watching the process of this man actually realising he's in love for real, honestly 😭

[light-yaers]

Take Care: Chapter Fourteen

Fic Masterpost | AO3 | Chapter List

Warnings: swearing, eventual smut, emotional themes.

A/N: YEEE FUCKING HAW WE'RE BACK AND LONGER THAN EVER. FEAST, MY PRETTIES.

Word count: 10k+

Chapter Fourteen:

Well, Arlo. It seems the Greyhounds have actually… done something right?

I know, Chris. If you’d told me they’d be in this position, not even in the Premier League, yet through to the FA Cup final, then well! I’d have eaten my hat!

But Arlo, you don’t own any hats. 

There’s lots that you don’t know about me, Chris. 

Oh. Well, I’d like to find out more one day, Arlo. 

Maybe one day, Chris. Maybe one day… But, moving forward– it seems AFC Richmond’s new coach, badboy Roy Kent, has well and truly shared the fabled ‘Roy Kent Effect’ once more. 

That’s certainly true, Arlo! Kent and his teammates have never worked so well, even when he was on the pitch next to them. I think this is the start of a blossoming season for the Greyhounds. 

I agree, Chris. So, you heard it here, folks. AFC Richmond are off to Wembley!

A few weeks after Roy’s return, you found yourself feeling the love. When you came to, you were screaming your head off. Everything was a giant blur of those familiar reds and blues, so you knew you were home. The locker room still looked the same as always, but the players within were so drastically separate from how they were a week ago that you could hardly fucking believe it. 

AFC Richmond were going to Wembley for the FA Cup final. The only downside– they were against Manchester fucking City. You weren’t about to dampen their joy, though. You suspected they all knew exactly what was at stake, but they deserved this. They deserved to feel like winners. 

Sam bound over to you as soon as he could. His embrace brought you back down to earth, and you hugged him back so tightly that it was a miracle neither of you passed out. “God, I am so proud of you,” you whispered into his shoulder. 

He reciprocated by squeezing you once more, before you tugged apart. “You still bring us good luck. You are part of the reason we have come this far.” He spoke so earnestly that you couldn’t stop your throat from drying up. 

You swallowed painfully, utterly overwhelmed. Sam went one step further, however, when he stepped onto one of the benches. “Hey, guys! Guys!” he yelled, bringing the sound in the room right down. Every player, and coach alike, turned to him and listened intently. “We wouldn’t have gotten to this position without the help of every single person in this room.” Sam looked down at you then, smiling like the golden sun. “Thank you, everyone! We’re Richmond till we die!” 

The room erupted into roars that no jungle could replicate. You soaked up their cheers, their happiness, their togetherness, and as you did you sensed someone close by: Roy. 

He stood in the doorway of the manager’s office, wearing a tracksuit that donned Richmond’s logo. He’d fallen into his coach position as if he’d always been here– assertively, strongly, respectfully. When you glanced around the room and saw him, you had to stop just for a moment to take him in. You smiled at him, even though he wasn’t looking at you. When he eventually caught your eye, you quickly looked beyond him, acting as if you hadn’t been eyeing him up for the better half of a minute. 

Roy liked it when you looked like this– happy, content, in the middle of a bustling and buzzing room yet perfectly fine with just existing and not speaking. You were good like that, good at listening and observing. You were also good at talking when you got to it, but Roy’s initial annoyance whenever you opened your mouth had quickly disappeared after a few weeks into your placement at the club. That sentiment had only grown over the past year and a half.

Jesus– eighteen months. It’d really gone fast, hadn’t it? Eighteen months, and you’d grown into your talent and only increased your work ethic (even if you secretly hated your current position). Eighteen months, and Roy had played his last game of football ever, but coached his first professional game since. 

Roy leaned on the doorframe of the manager’s office and crossed his arms. Dani had his hands wrapped around your neck lovingly from behind. The two of you swayed back and forth as the team continued rejoicing. Slowly, you latched your fingers onto Dani’s forearms and held them tightly. Roy knew what that felt like, having you close. He’d been there with you once, when it was impossible to keep your hands off each other in a crowded room like this. 

There was another thing that hadn’t happened in eighteen months. You and Roy. Roy and you. In truth, you’d thought about things more than he had. This was amongst one of the first times he’d allowed himself to think of you together, properly, and what it could have been like. 

He thought back to November, almost six months ago now, when he’d told you that he had no intention of fucking things up. To do that, you and Roy couldn’t happen– wouldn’t happen. 

Roy frowned when he thought about how awful he’d been, not even during that conversation, but afterwards. He hadn’t put up any boundaries, had continued acting the same as he always was around you. It wasn’t kind; he knew that as soon as he’d seen your face on Boxing Day, practically scrambling to get the fuck out of his house. 

The bad thing was, however, that Roy didn’t want to stop. Sure, he’d said things would never happen, and you’d graciously accepted that fate and tried to move forward over these past few months like any respectful and decent person would. But, he hadn’t. He’d said the words, but not followed them. 

Roy huffed to himself, only now realising– he was a fucking idiot. 

This was Roy’s more prominent disease, it seemed: delayed on-set realisation of selfishness. DOROS for short. Maybe he’d always known, but had pushed it all away in favour of keeping you close. Maybe he’d always known, but innately knew that he had never wanted to cut things off with you, so simply acted like he’d never fucking said a thing. 

Mentally, Roy added a new to-do box to his list. 

Fix things with you. 

He would. Oh, he would. 

“Roy!” Ted’s familiar accent called from behind him. Roy turned around and looked down at his fellow coach, sat before him with his feet on his desk. Beard was the same, and the two of them looked like peas in a pod. “How’re your first few weeks going?” 

Roy balled his fists instinctually. “Good. I think.”

“Well, you gosh darn thunk correctly!” Ted burst, jumping out of his chair in excitement. “And now, I need your help once again. This match next week, the big one.” He stopped directly in front of Roy, chin to chin. “How do we keep the guys like this?”

This meaning the ruckus behind him. Joyful, strong, ready to fight with all they’ve got even if the outcome isn’t in their favour. Roy knew that feeling well, having felt it too many times to count. 

He sighed. “It’ll be tough. Come tomorrow, they’ll all start to spiral.”

“How so?”

Roy shrugged. “It’s the hope that kills you.” 

Ted’s face soured immediately. “I don’t like your sayings over here.” 

“Yeah, well…” Roy turned around to look at the guys. “It’s easier than being fucking disappointed.” 

“Screw that!” Ted suddenly exploded. He grabbed Roy’s shoulders and urged him to look in his eyes. “We’re stopping that today. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you look at those guys right there, acting like that?” Ted asked. 

Roy swivelled his head back around to look at them. “I… I dunno?” he said. 

Ted squeezed his shoulders abruptly. “Yes, you do! Say it. Say it!”

“All-fucking-right!” Roy yelled. “Her!” He pointed at you without hesitating. 

As if on cue, you laughed. You scrunched your eyes shut in happiness, giggling as Dani placed his chin atop your head. He squeezed you tighter, and you giggled even harder, gripping his arms stronger than before. Sam and Colin laughed opposite them, still overcome with the buzzing adrenaline of the win. They all were. You perpetuated that feeling, made the guys want it even more so you could join them at times like this. 

Ted moved next to Roy, looking at the same scene. “Well, I’ll be damned,” Ted whispered. “You’ve never been more right in your life.”

You had to suck in a deep breath as your laughter dissipated. Your lungs were empty of all reserves, but you’d never felt better about it. Dani gently removed himself from you to head towards Richard and Zoreaux. As he did, the most unexpected thing happened. 

Someone tapped you on the shoulder, and when you turned to greet them with a glowing smile, you stopped short. Jamie Tartt stood before you. “Hey,” he said. 

You kept things light as you perked your brow at him quizzically. “Hi.” You smiled. “Congratulations.”

Jamie laughed awkwardly, bringing a hand to the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah. Thanks very much.” You’d never tire of his accent, secretly. You were fond of Mancunian. “Listen, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Your eyes widened in surprise. “Oh– sure.”

“Privately,” he added. 

You glanced around the locker room quickly, before nodding once. Jamie led you out to the corridor and beyond. He opened the door to the kit room and held it for you as you entered, then followed you inside and shut the door behind him. 

You didn’t know where to place yourself. Stood in the centre of the room, overwhelmed by the scent of soggy feet, you turned to the striker and waited. Jamie stood opposite you with the same feeling of being utterly out of place. 

“What can I do for you, Jamie?” you started, getting the ball rolling.

“I know we’re not really… er, close.” He clutched his hands together awkwardly, almost unable to meet your eye. “But I know how much you mean to the club and that.”

You huffed amusedly. “Sure,” you agreed. 

“Which is why I know you won’t laugh at me when I ask you this.” Tartt finally met your eye, and you were taken aback. Whatever was on his mind you now knew was a big deal. I mean, it had to be for him to approach you like this, surely?

“Okay,” you said sturdily. “Lay it on me.”

“It’s Roy.” You held your breath as he said it. Never in your wildest dreams did you think that Jamie would come to you about a Roy problem, yet here he was. “He won’t coach me. Not like the others, you know. I know I was a dick in the past, for lack of a better word, and that Roy was on the receiving end sometimes–”

“All the time,” you said, matter of factly. Jamie subtly exploded.

“Okay, fine– all the fucking time– but I’m back now, and I need a fucking coach. I want him to teach me the same way he teaches Sam and Isaac and the rest.”

“But, you don’t know how to ask him,” you said your thoughts out loud. 

Jamie nodded quickly, agreeing with you tenfold. “I know he’d tell me to fuck off.”

“Well, of course he’s going to do that.” You almost chuckled from how right he was in saying so. “But, I see where you’re coming from.” Your mind spiralled down different routes, unknowing of where you came into this equation. You could tell Jamie what to say, but you knew what Roy would reply simply because it was Tartt, not you. “Why come to me, though?”

Jamie’s face squished questioningly, like he couldn’t understand why you hadn’t put two and two together just yet. “Roy fucking listens to you.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh now. “Oh, please. Yeah, he listens. But whether or not he decides to do what I say is a completely different ball game.”

Jamie reached out to you suddenly and gripped your shoulders in desperation. “Please. I know I’m making up for lost time and bad behaviour and whatever else I did to the guys, or Lasso, or Roy, but I need to be useful here. I want to be useful here.” 

You regarded him thoughtfully then. It was hard not to take him into account when he was like this, bearing his soul to a person who had never connected with him beforehand. Reaching out to you was a shot in the dark for him, but he’d done it anyway because he wanted to succeed. It was commendable, when you put it all into perspective. 

You decided upon a middle ground. “I’ll plant the seed in his head to let you in, alright?” 

Jamie let out a clear sigh of relief when you agreed. “Well, fuck– thank you.”

“But!” you continued. “You need to go to him yourself. You need to apologise, and tell him exactly what you said to me. It’s Roy, so he’ll make it a fucking nightmare and will probably be childish and petty and whatever fucking else that grown man is capable of…” As you rambled, the cogs in Jamie’s brain finally understood the whole story– you liked him, didn’t you? “...but he’ll do it eventually. He has to. He’s a coach now, and if you’re here, you deserve to be coached properly.”

Jamie squealed and smiled at the same time, his eyes ablaze with boyish resemblance. He squeezed your shoulders affectionately. “I knew coming to you would work out. I just knew it.”

You scoffed in amusement. “Don’t make it a regular thing,” you joked. “There are only so many strings I can pull with Roy.”

Jamie raised his brows assumptively. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“What do you mean by that?” All your amusement reluctantly trailed off alongside your words.

“Well,” Jamie started. His grin dropped instantly. “I mean– don’t make me fucking say it. You already know, don’t you?” 

“Know what?” you pressed. 

“That Roy, y’know. That Roy–” Jamie flailed his arms around like a flapping seagull. “He– y’know…” 

You squinted at him. “Are you speaking some kind of secret footballer language that common people like me don’t fucking understand?”

“He likes you!” Jamie finally let out. 

“Oh.” You stepped back. Jamie’s arms dropped to his sides. “Stop fucking talking now.”

“Oh, come on. You can’t see it?” Jamie looked you dead in the eye, but all you were capable of doing was looking away from embarrassment. “Well, you’re more stupid than I fucking took you for.” 

“Hey!” you exclaimed. “There’s no need for that shit when I’m digging you out of the mess you fucking made last season.” 

He raised his arms up in understanding. “Alright, alright. Sorry, my bad.” You let out your own sigh of relief when you realised the conversation was over. 

You and Jamie headed back to the locker room soon after. As he made his way towards the guys, you stuck to the outer limits of the cinder block walls. Roy was still in the manager's office, his back turned as he spoke to Ted and Beard. You didn’t want to intrude, so you made the decision to cut back into the corridor once more; not to leave, but to wait until the guys were ready for a pint. 

You slowly trudged down the familiar corridor that you used to traverse every fucking day. Past the locker room, you approached the gym. Beyond that, your old office still sat. Keeley had recently upgraded to a larger room deeper underneath the Dogtrack, however, so the usual array of pink pillows and her cheetah statue were nowhere to be seen. 

You entered through the half open door and walked straight into darkness. The walls were the same, just pinker. The desk was the same, just empty. Whenever you visited this office space after time away you felt the same pull to return. You didn’t care if it had no windows; you’d managed to make it home for nearly a year without any hiccups. 

God, you wanted to be back here. Everyone knew it, even Rebecca, but you daren’t take favours. You would never. 

A small knock sounded from the door, and you turned back quickly. “Ready to g–? Oh!” you exclaimed. You’d been expecting Sam or Roy, but were met with the still slightly unfamiliar face of Nate. “Sorry, Nate. I thought you were someone else.”

“That’s alright,” he said, smiling. “May I come in?” 

“Oh,” you spluttered. “Yes, of course. This isn’t my office anymore.”

He stepped inside. “No, no, it’s not, is it?” he said, and the tone of his voice was erring on patronising. You opted to ignore it, knowing that he wouldn’t have meant it that way. Surely?

The silent pause that flittered between you was very awkward, there was no denying it. It wasn’t that you’d meant to not really know him, but your circle at the club had seemed to travel in one certain direction that you hadn’t been able to control. The guys, Ted, Roy, Rebecca. Not Beard, not Nate. You didn’t mean anything by it innately. 

If anything, you were happy that Nate was making himself known to you. You’d love to get to know him more– or more than what you barely knew of him from your time at the club. 

“What a great game today, wasn’t it?” you started. 

“Oh yes, fantastic game,” said Nate. 

“And that thing–” You mimed what had happened on the pitch earlier, which happened to be a middle finger of all things. “That all four of you did to Jamie. Classic, really fucking brilliant.”

“Oh yes, the good old middle finger.” Nate copied you in miming what he’d done less than an hour ago. All four coaches had signalled to Tartt what needed to be done, and that signal happened to be swearing at him full-frontally. Four middle fingers had stood up on end, and Tottenham didn’t know what had hit them when Tartt managed to make a goal from just beyond the halfway line. 

“You were all absolutely brilliant!” you exclaimed. “I’ve been seeing you in the paper as well, you know? The whole Wonderkid thing.”

Nate smiled forcefully. “I definitely said Wunderkind.”

“Either way, it’s fantastic you’re getting that recognition.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Nate said, taking your compliment graciously; or so you thought. “So, here’s the thing.” He plunged right into his words like he’d had them on standby the entire time. 

“Go on,” you urged him happily.

“You can’t come to Wembley.” 

“What?” you asked, not fully absorbing his words.

Nate stopped smiling. He looked at you sternly, or like you were akin to dirt on his shoe, or whatever else. Your smile turned to a frown instantly. 

“You can’t come to Wembley,” Nate repeated. 

Those five words hit you like a tonne of bricks. You didn’t understand what he was saying, or what he meant. For a second, you thought he’d got his words mixed up, maybe, but even if they were un-muddled they wouldn’t make sense at all. 

“I don’t understand what you mean,” you said smally, feeling multiple degrees of hurt even though you had no explanation. 

“Okay,” Nate replied. “I’ll spell it out for you.” He raised his chin and sucked in a deep and confident breath, “You cannot come to Wembley for the FA Cup final.”

You still didn’t understand, but you understood Nate’s words fully. Why he was saying them, though, you had no idea. Perhaps you hadn’t misinterpreted his patronising tone upon entering the room, but had picked it up perfectly. You didn’t know Nate enough to get mad– properly mad– but your blood boiled as you looked at him. 

“Why not?” you asked, swallowing sullenly to try and keep the butterflies in your gut at bay. 

Nate smiled. You hated that he smiled. It felt grimy and wrong. “Roy, Ted and Beard seem to think that you keep the team happy, and maybe you do. But, this is the fucking FA Cup final. They can’t afford any distractions, and you.” He looked you up and down like a blight. You’d never been looked at like that before in your life. “You are a distraction. You may think you’re helping, but the guys need clear minds and ready heads. You’re a distraction towards all of that.”

You laughed abruptly, at a loss for words. Nate’s smile turned to something much more condescending. Gently, he reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder. You froze on the spot. 

“It’s just better if you sit this one out, alright? Don’t worry, the guys won’t miss you too much.” 

You opened your mouth as if to speak, but all that came out was air. Your lungs collapsed beneath your chest, your heart pumped blood uncomfortably and incredibly fast into your limbs, your organs, your gut. It hurt. It really hurt. 

Nate squeezed your shoulder. You stiffened further. “Good talk. Let’s catch up after the final.” He removed his hand from you and left promptly, leaving you in the darkned seclusion of your old office. 

Realisation hit you like a double-decker bus. Nate had always been like this a bit, hadn’t he? Not before he became a coach, but afterwards, certainly. A shift had cemented within him as soon as he’d donned the Richmond jacket and owned a desk spot next to Ted and Beard. The whistle around his neck clung to him like a trophy of his authority. 

Nathan Shelley was not a nice coach. Good, smart, intelligent, but not nice. 

You wondered if Ted knew. You wondered if Beard knew. You wondered if Roy knew. If they did, you knew they’d do something about it, so perhaps not. Innately, despite the weak way your chest scraped air through your crippled lungs, you hoped it was just you that he had gripes with. You hoped he wasn’t like this to any of the guys themselves. Just the thought alone made you angry beyond belief. 

No one on the team deserved to be treated the way that Nate had just treated you. 

You sucked in a sharp breath quickly, feeling the beginnings and endings of tears behind your eyes. You wouldn’t cry, not for this. If you twisted this entire ordeal on its head then it was borderline comical. Not to toot your own horn, but you knew that if any of the guys in the locker room next door found out about this, then they’d take your side. 

That was exactly why you couldn’t tell them. You weren’t about to be the reason that AFC Richmond’s managerial team broke apart. They’d come so far already after relegation. You couldn’t– wouldn’t– fuck that all up. 

Quietly, you swallowed away your pride and your feelings and left your old office. Silently, you headed back to the locker room and entered timidly. 

“There she is,” Roy muttered to Sam as you entered. As you approached him, you realised he’d picked up your bag and slung it over his shoulder to save you holding it yourself. “Ready to go?” he asked, face to face. 

Your eyes hit his. You struggled to keep everything at bay, but brushed it off as best as you possibly could. “Yeah,” you breathed. “Here.” You gestured to your bag on his shoulder, but Roy twisted himself away from you. 

“I’ve got it.” Roy frowned slowly, a sour feeling sprouted in his gut. “You alright?” 

You waved him off. “I’m fine. I just don’t feel all that good, if I’m being honest.” 

“Hm.” He reached out confidently and laid his knuckles against your forehead. Roy had done this to you many times. You were used to it, but still allowed yourself to silently indulge in his touch. Besides, you needed this. He didn’t know, but you needed him right now. “You do feel a bit hot, actually,” he said lowly. “Wanna skip the pub and go home?” 

Gently, you nodded. Roy’s hand dropped to your shoulder, the same one that Nate had held just minutes before. Quickly, you placed your hand over his. “Yes, please.” 

Roy stayed still. Something was wrong, he knew it. There was this look in your eye that coincided with you not feeling well, but that wasn’t all. The way you were standing; slumped, arms wrapped around yourself, as if you were desperately trying to make yourself smaller, invisible. The hand that rested atop his own didn’t feel strong. This wasn’t you, the real you.

Roy nodded at you in understanding. “Okay,” he whispered. Roy turned to the rest of the room and addressed the team. “You’ll have to catch us next week for drinks, boys.”

The collective groan that descended across the room made you feel awful, but there was nothing you could do about it. 

Roy sensed your unease. “Hey!” he yelled. “That’s fucking enough of that. Get some sleep after your well-deserved booze break, and I’ll see you all bright and early for practice on Monday!”

“Yes, coach!” 

You and Roy drove home in silence. Not the uncomfortable kind, but Roy could tell something was on your mind. It was rare that either of you evaded the weird sixth sense you had about the other now. Roy could read you as clear as he’d read your article about him. 

He stopped his Jeep outside your apartment building and killed the engine. You gathered your belongings and shot him a quick smile. “Thanks.” You went to leave. 

“Wait.” In one click, Roy had locked your door from the driver’s side door. “Tell me what’s wrong or I’m not letting you out.”

You huffed, slumping back into your chair in acceptance. “Really?”

“Really,” Roy repeated.

“This is childish, Roy.”

“I don’t fucking care. One moment you were happy as a daisy, and the next you look like you’ve landed on death’s fucking door.”

You sighed in exasperation. “Oh, for fucks sake.”

Roy twisted himself to face you more head on. He crossed his arms and waited patiently. “Go on.”

You rolled your eyes, wishing this to be over. “I’m on my period.”

Roy pointed at you quickly. “Don’t try and catch me out with a feminine problem that you assume men don’t want to hear about. I have a fucking sister, and I know all about how crazy her cycle made her. This isn’t that.”

“Fuck!” you exclaimed, raising your voice slightly. Your stress levels had grown exponentionally in the last minute and a half. You could feel your rapid heartbeat beneath your chest. “It doesn’t fucking matter, alright. If I wanted to talk about it then I would have told you by now.”

Roy perked his brow at you. “Is this about something football related, or something life related?”

“God!” you exploded finally. You wouldn’t mention Nate, but Roy’s incessant poking meant you had to say something real. Maybe this really was something you should have told him a while ago. “You really wanna know?” You turned towards him, eyes crazy and breathing erratic. “I hate my fucking job, okay. And everytime I go to the stadium for a game I’m reminded of everything I left behind and everything I continue to leave behind. The guys, Ted, Beard, you.” 

For the first tme since the car stopped, Roy shut his mouth and listened. 

“I– I wonder how much longer I can fucking do it. The commute every morning, the staleness of my work colleagues, the giant stack of papers and assignments that are always waiting on my desk to get done because no one else will fucking touch them. I don’t sleep at night properly, and I can’t even cook meals anymore. I feel like–” You sucked in a deep breath and finally looked Roy in the eye. “I feel like, even despite all of you including me in everything, I’m running on the spot behind you and will never be able to catch up. Like I’ll never be part of that world anymore. And it’s, it’s– breaking me.” 

Roy leant towards you instinctually. 

“Rebecca and Keeley know I hate it, but every time Rebecca talks about getting me a position at the club I freeze. It makes me feel sick that she’d so easily and without question hand me something because I don’t feel like I deserve it. And–!” Roy flicked his eyes over your face, at a loss of what to say. You laughed from a lack of what else to fucking do. “The game last weekend, when you showed up and finally realised your worth as a coach, I almost missed it because I couldn’t take being back there without thinking how much I fucking miss it all. I’m pathetic–”

“No, you’re not,” Roy interjected hoarsely. 

You laughed again, on the brink of tears. “Yes, I am. Who does that? Who cries before a fucking game because they can’t handle being there? Me. I do that now, apparently.” 

Silence descended inside the Jeep. You finally took a breath, and when you did you realised what you’d done. You leaned back in your seat and faced the windshield, utterly embarrassed that you’d burst at the seams. 

“So,” you said smally. “That’s that.” You turned towards Roy again. “Is that what you wanted me to say?”

Roy stayed as quiet as a mouse. That wasn’t his style. Glued to his spot, Roy kept his gaze on you thoughtfully. He regarded the look on your face and noticed the subtle embarrassment on your brow; you hadn’t expected to cave so easily when questioned about what was wrong. 

He looked down at your hands in your lap. Your fingers shook subtly as they brushed across your knuckles in worry. Roy hated that you were worrying after being honest about something in your life. It was only him, he thought. Surely you should know that you could tell him anything and he’d listen.

“Sorry,” you blurted out. 

Roy huffed, speechless. “What the fuck are you sorry for?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Fucking–” Roy moved closer to you. “Come here.” 

His arms were around you in no time. You stayed stuck in place, stunned, for just a second, until you found yourself hugging him back so fiercely that you couldn’t have thougth of anything you needed more. It was funny. You could count on one hand how many times you and Roy had hugged, and none of them had been like this. 

You’d been close before, sure, in proximity and in more. You were close even now, despite counting the conversation you’d both had in November. Everyone on the outside seemed to think of Roy as someone who wasn’t hands-on. He liked his space, he didn’t like to pry or poke, yet here you were– the air being squeezed from your lungs because he’d made you open up for your own good– because he couldn’t think of anything better to show that he cared than to embrace you. 

Roy Kent cared so much that it was a wonder he had energy to do anything else. 

When the two of you parted, you couldn’t help but laugh. You stayed close, foreheads almost touching. Roy smiled at you genuinely, fully, thoughtfully. 

“No wonder you’re going mental,” he said lowly. “That’s a lot to hold onto without letting it out.”

That’s not even the half of it. You wanted to say, but you didn’t. 

“You’re not running in place behind us,” Roy continued. “You’re what keeps us all together. You’re the reason I went back to Richmond.” You didn’t say anything, just took in his words. “I didn’t go back just for the game, or the guys– I went back because I knew you’d be in the box, looking down at me on the pitch again.” 

Your throat closed slightly, as the urge to cry hit you. You swallowed it away, not wanting to burst again in such a short amount of time. “Well,” you whispered. “I’m glad.” 

For a fraction of a second, Roy’s eyes dropped to your lips. 

You’d been here before, you thought. You’d been here with him like this so many times that you couldn’t even count them off the top of your head. If you had time, a few minutes maybe, you’d be able to pinpoint every occasion where the word almost screeched within your mind. 

Almost there. Almost on you. 

Perhaps you’d never get beyond the proverbial almost, but this time felt different. Something had shifted recently. You felt it. Roy’s stares lingered for just a tad too long. Electricity buzzed between you even when you weren’t touching. The joy you’d felt when he’d arrived at the Dogtrack and finally caved in had been second to none. In hindsight, maybe jumping the wall of the home box and running down the steps in the stands to him had been too much. 

Roy didn’t think so. He’d relished you being close. His stomach had somersaulted as soon as you’d yelled his name. Secretly, he’d hoped you’d react the exact way you did. He’d done it for you, had he not? He’d come back to Richmond for you. 

Without realising, you and Roy had inched closer to each other so much that you both hovered over the centre console of his Jeep. Foreheads almost touching. Hearts almost caving. 

You’d been here before so many times. 

Roy swallowed without moving a muscle, ready to speak. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Instantly, you crashed back down to earth. You sucked in a deep breath and straightened yourself, leaning back towards the passenger side window. You thought the worst. Was this an ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this’? It had to be, surely. 

“Oh,” you let out, flustered. “Don’t apologise, don’t wo–”

“No,” Roy cut you off strongly, unexpectedly leaning closer. “I’m sorry for being a fucking idiot.” 

Time stilled. That word– that almost– lingered in the air like dust in the desert. Heavy, dry, suffocatingly warm. 

Roy’s expression grew to frustration as quickly as you’d both fallen to silence. “I thought I was doing the right fucking thing, stopping–” He gestured between you both, not able to find words. “I thought it would be better for you, to not get you mixed up in all my shit.”

The penny dropped. You squished your face into a hurt smile involuntarily. “It’s okay, Roy,” you said softly. 

“And worse yet,” he continued. “I’ve been a… a fucking arse. Not changing how I acted around you, or what I said, or what I did. I must have made everything ten times fucking worse for you.”

You shook your head immediately. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Roy replied instantly. “It does matter. I never wanted to play with your fucking feelings or make what I did more difficult for you, but that’s exactly what I did.” 

“It’s okay,” you said. “It’s okay,” you repeated, just for good measure. 

Roy fell silent for a pause, taking in your words as if he really needed to hear them. In fact, you thought he really did need to hear them, straight from your mouth and no one elses. 

“You’re sure?” he asked, checked, wanted to make extra fucking sure. 

You nodded quickly. “I’m sure.” You smiled, trying desperately not to let the cropped up hurt on your face show through. That wasn’t on him; he hadn’t intended to damage you this way. 

“Okay.” Roy breathed out deeply, leaning back into the driver’s seat like the weight of the world had just been taken off his shoulders. “Thank fuck,” he whispered, before meeting your eye again. He smiled, accepting the silliness that one felt after being so vulnerable with someone else. “I really fucking need you, you know?” 

You laughed first, wanting to say so do I. Instead, you differed your response. “Of course, you fucking do. Who else is going to tell you what to do with your life?” 

Roy’s smile lit up all over his face. You remembered a time where you used to count how many times he looked at you like this; honest. Now, it was everyday. 

“Exactly,” he said. Gently, he stuck his hand out and laid it upon your cheek. “Fucking exactly.” His thumb swiped across your face warmly. You shivered immensely, but tried desperately to hide it. 

You glanced at the radio clock. Time ticked by, and you knew you had to leave this conversation soon. Innately, Roy knew it, too. 

“My mum’s coming to Richmond tomorrow morning,” you said softly. Roy’s hand stayed put. You didn’t mind. “I need to go and clean my flat, or she’ll start washing up mugs against my will.” 

Roy’s eyes flicked between your own. Affection seeped from within them, so far removed from when you’d first met. Slowly, he removed his hand from your cheek. His fingers skimmed your skin on the way back to his lap. “Okay,” he whispered; acceptance. 

Almost would stay the same. Almost had gone the furthest it had ever been.

You slung your bag over your shoulder. Roy unlocked the passenger side door with one button click. You gripped the handle strongly, but paused before you left for good. 

“Thank you for listening to me,” you said simply. “I mean– really listening to me.” 

Roy stayed still, not leaving your gaze for a second. “Always,” he said lowly. 

When the door to your building shut behind you, Roy was still reluctant to drive away. He watched as the light turned on from the window of your ground floor flat, saw your silhouette enter the living room– the room where he’d stood before a few times– and drop your bag to the floor in exhaustion. 

Roy drove away when your silhouette disappeared, the feeling of you still present on his fingertips. 

You didn’t tell anyone about Nate. You didn’t tell anyone that he’d warded you off or spoke ill of you supporting the team. Instead, you went to work. You encompassed yourself in your job, taking on extra responsibilities despite that being the one reason you felt spread thin. 

By Thursday, you were ready to crash. Your bed had been calling you every day, as soon as you disembarked from the train at Richmond tube station. Intentionally, you ignored texts from Rebecca and Keeley about times to rendezvous at Wembley Stadium. If they ever asked, you’d blame it on having too much of a heavy work week. That would be your out. 

Logically, you knew you wouldn’t be able to completely miss Richmond playing at Wembley. People would be expecting you there. The guys would be expecting you there. But, despite their cries and pleads for you to be present, you were prepared to keep them at arms length– for Nate’s sake. 

When Saturday came, you knew it would be hard for you to avoid everyone at the club. By ten o’clock in the morning, Keeley had already called you twice. By half past the hour, Rebecca had called you three times. 

On the fourth time she rang, you knew you had to pick up. 

“Darling,” she said quickly. “What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry,” you said (you lied), secluded in your flat. “This week has been insane. I haven’t been able to focus on anything that isn’t Pluto Press related.”

Rebecca made a guttural sound in her throat. “Bollocks!” she exclaimed. “I’ll send a car. It can be there in twenty minutes if need be.”

“It’s okay. I can get the tube. Don’t worry–”

“Oh,” Rebecca cut you off. Her tone switched instantly. “Actually, don’t worry about a car. I think someone is waiting for you out front.”

As if on cue, the horn from Roy’s Jeep sounded from your living room window. 

Quickly, you ran to the window. Between your sheer curtains, Roy’s obsidian black Jeep was stationed on the road by your front door. You couldn’t curse on your call with Rebecca, but by God– you wanted to. 

“Is that the cavalry coming for me?” you said down the phone, peeved. 

“Yes, it is,” Rebecca said smugly. “See you in an hour, darling.” She hung up the phone fast, so quick that you couldn’t give any excuse to get out of this match. 

Quickly, you gathered a bag of belongings and left your flat. Reluctantly, you descended the steps of your building and pulled the handle of the passenger side door of Roy’s Jeep. You settled quickly, without fuss, but words dangled in the air as soon as silence descended within the car. 

“Ready to go?” Roy said from the driver’s seat. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out. Roy didn’t push you, but he did push upon the accelerator and toward Wembley Stadium. 

Roy parked in the car park beneath the stadium, only for players or coaches, and killed the engine. 

You grabbed your bag quickly and left his Jeep, knowing what happens when you’re trapped inside with nowhere to go. The two of you made your way through the back entrance of the stadium. It was a miracle that Roy hadn’t asked what was wrong– you were being quiet and subdued, that was enough of a trigger for him to know something was up. 

You wondered if Nate had eyes on you. You wondered if he was watching you traverse the inner sections of Wembley, if he saw you freak out when going past the locker room, if he saw you retreat into yourself past the press rooms. 

Roy didn’t wonder. He kept his eyes on you through it all. 

Silence hung in the air uncomfortably as you passed office after office. These were the inner workings of a stadium; a world that you knew well, but nothing like that of the Dogtrack.

You finally broke the air. “I should really get to Rebecca and Keeley,” you said.

“And you will,” Roy said. “There’s just one stop we have to take first.”

Your heart stilled as soon as he turned to the right, entering into the final office on the long corridor you’d traversed. You were hit with the nervous gazes of Ted and Beard immediately, but you didn’t care for the way their expressions faltered softly—

You cared for the way Nate’s eyes bored into you with no remorse. At the back of the room, he glared at you ten times worse than he’d done the week before at the Dogtrack.

“Writer!” Ted exclaimed, filling the tension in the air with his enthusiasm. “Oh, thank God,” he added in a whisper. 

“Hi,” you said smally, accepting a hug from him suddenly. 

You hated this. As you removed yourself from Ted’s grasp, you could feel the steely eyes of one Nathan Shelley staring you down, like a child did to an ant before he crushed it with his shoe.

After you left Ted’s embrace, you stepped back so quickly that you almost tripped over Roy’s feet. He steadied you instantly, keeping his hand at your lower back.

“Well, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” Ted said, gaining some colour back on his face.

You laughed nervously. “I should really go and find Rebecca and Keeley. I shouldn’t be here.” 

“Poppycock!” Ted exclaimed. “You’re exactly what we needed. The guys are in the locker room just down there, why don’t you go and say—,”

“No!” you burst suddenly. 

The room went quiet instantly. Beard looked at Ted quizzically. You could feel Roy’s stare on the back of your neck.

“They need to focus,” you stuttered. “I should just go and find my seat.”

Nate stepped forward a few paces, coming between Ted and Beard silently. “I think that’s a good idea. Let her go and find her girlfriends.” 

You hated the way words fell from his mouth. You knew he had you exactly where he wanted you— uncomfortable, vulnerable, everything in between— but you were in no situation to open this can of worms with Ted, Beard and Roy. 

You gripped your bag on your arm tightly and turned to Roy. “I’ll see you on the pitch,” you said timidly. Quickly, and without thinking, you pressed a chaste kiss on Roy’s cheek, and left promptly.

You had no idea where you were going, but knew that you couldn’t stop as you made your way down the inner corridors of Wembley.

All you knew was that you needed to be where Nate Shelley was not, as soon as humanly possible. 

“Have a glass of wine,” Rebecca said sternly from the internal bar by the VIPs box. 

“I’m okay,” you said, keeping yourself contained.

Her smile turned to a frown. Oh, she knew you far too well for you to get out of this one.

“Take the fucking wine glass, darling.”

“Okay.” You took the glass of wine instantly and downed one, two, three gulps. You breathed out. “Oh, that’s better.” 

“Mhm,” she hummed, satisfied. 

“Sorry,” you said between gulps and sips. “It’s just been a long week.”

“I can see that,” she said, looking you up and down. “Are you sure that’s all it is? Your job?” 

Shit. She knew something else was up. They all fucking did, and it drove you insane. Innately, you cursed yourself out for being so well-known, so well-loved. You were surrounded by the people who knew you most in this world, but also by the people that didn’t want you around. It was a double-edged sword of inescapable proportions, and you were tired.

“That’s all it is,” you said, trying to adopt as much sincerity as you possibly could. 

Rebecca’s frown stayed put as her eyes roamed your face. Gently, she reached out her hand and ran her expensively manicured nails through your hair softly. 

“You’d let us know, wouldn’t you?” she said, and you froze with your wine glass to your lips. “You’d let us know if it was something else, too?” 

Keeley shoved a mini sausage roll in her mouth and approached you both quickly. “It’s Roy, isn’t it.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s not Roy,” you groaned. 

“Then what is it!” Keeley exclaimed, launching pastry crumbs across the bar. 

Before you could respond, applause broke out from the crowd immensely. You gulped down the rest of your wine quickly and dropped the empty glass on a side table by the door to the stands. 

“That’s kick off,” you said, already on your way to take a seat.

The conversation went unfinished, as Rebecca and Keeley followed you out of the door towards the pitch. They didn’t attempt to pry during the game, too caught up in the song and dance of yelling chants for Richmond, of being present, of supporting.

You knew you’d dodged a bullet, as you screamed your lungs out from the stands. But, you knew your silence was on a time limit. If anyone would get something out of you, it was Rebecca and Keeley. 

And you knew it would only be a matter of time before they broke your silence (for the better). 

When the full-time whistle blew, you felt helpless. You could only imagine how the guys were feeling, knowing that they’d lost so spectacularly against none other than Manchester City. 

The person who your heart went out to the most, however, was not normal. It wasn’t Roy, it wasn’t Ted, it wasn’t even Sam or Isaac or Colin— it was Jamie Tartt. 

You knew he’d be hurting the most from this immense defeat. His old team, his past life, and at Wembley fucking stadium no less. He’d be in bits.

“Well,” Rebecca said, standing up and wrapping her scarf around her neck. “That’s that, then.”

“The guys will be crushed,” Keeley said sadly.

“Jamie will be crushed.” The pair of them looked at you as you spoke. Their sombre faces were enough for you to know that they agreed wholeheartedly.

“Come on.” Rebecca passed you and stepped out of the stands. “Let’s go and commiserate with them.”

You tensed instantly, watching silently as Keeley stood up and followed Rebecca. The two of them waited for you at the end of the row. 

“I should really head home,” you said finally, trying to keep your expression neutral. 

“What?” Keeley.

“Why on Earth do you need to leave now?” Rebecca.

“It’s just— I don’t want to crowd them, you know?” The pitch of your voice had risen. You sounded like a mouse, a lying, cheating mouse.

The two of them stared at you like you were mental. Neither said anything, their expressions spoke a thousand words for them— what the hell is up with you?

You faltered first. “Don’t look at me like that.” 

“Oh no, we absolutely will look at you like this,” Rebecca said threateningly. “What’s got your knickers in a twist? You look like a labrador that’s shit all over the carpet!”

“I really hope you haven’t shat on someone’s carpet, but if you have, you can tell us.” Keeley leaned down and laid a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“I haven’t shat on a fucking carpet!” 

“Then come on!” Rebecca exclaimed. “Your team needs you.” Her words stung you internally. “They need you.” 

Rebecca’s commanding nature jumped out tenfold. You were stuck at an impasse, between a rock and a hard place, whatever other metaphor you could use for being trapped. One side of your brain projected a sad picture of the guys in the locker room, begging for a friendly face to come and lift them up; and the other— Nate was glaring at you like you’d just done something terribly wrong. 

God, you hated this. No one knew the way he’d talked to you, or what he’d said. And the worst part was that you couldn’t tell them— wouldn’t— from how much drama it would create. 

Football was supposed to be your safe space. Watching matches with your girls, cheering or crying in the locker room with the guys, urging Ted, Beard and Roy on whenever you could.

Nate had taken that all away after one simple conversation. 

You didn’t know how to tell them no. If it was up to you, you would have sprung out of your seat and ran down to the locker rooms without any hesitation.

But, it wasn’t up to you. Nate’s words rattled around your mind like beads in a maraca. 

Rebecca sucked in a deep breath. She leant down and grabbed your hand swiftly, warmly. “We’re here with you. Whatever you need, we’re always here. But, those boys need us the most right now. You know them better than I do—,”

“And me! You know them better than me, too!” Keeley joined in supportively. 

“They don’t want us without you, and that’s a fact.” 

You let out a shaking breath, then nodded quickly. Nate would have to move to the fucking side.

“Okay.” You nodded again, strongly. “Okay— let’s go see our boys.” You stood up quickly, not letting go of Rebecca’s hand.

“Your boys,” Rebecca said sternly. “They’re all yours.”

Navigating the lower levels of Wembley was nerve wracking, you couldn’t lie. Scenarios raced through your head of things going terribly wrong; Nate stopping you in the corridor; Nate forbidding you from entering the locker room; Nate this, Nate that. 

Fuck this shit.

Rebecca was right. They were your boys, your team. You knew them on levels that didn’t revolve around football, you knew them as people. And by God, they needed that. This time, they needed someone to make them feel something other than defeated.

The corridors were clear when the three of you turned the corner to the locker rooms. Only a security guard stood at the door of Richmond, and he very easily let you all in when you approached.

You held your breath when you finally entered. The guys sat in their respective cubby holes sullenly, elbows on knees, heads in their hands.

You’d seen this before at Roy’s last game. Silence even deeper than when you both sat in the Dogtrack locker room alone littered the air at Wembley. You could only imagine what the guys were feeling, like history was repeating itself on so many levels for the team.

You caught eyes with Jamie first. He looked broken. 

Rebecca and Keeley headed towards the coaches, but you felt stuck in place by the door, frozen by the sad atmosphere in the room.

Roy saw you before you saw him. He strolled over slowly and reached out to grab your forearm. “Hey,” he said softly. 

You flashed back to reality and gazed up at him. “Hey.” Quickly, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders tightly. He clutched you back strongly, and you knew that he’d been needing a hug with the same fervour as yours. 

You didn’t need to say you were sorry. He’d probably heard it enough already. He knew you felt the sting of a loss this big just as much as he did.

When you went to pull away, he squeezed you tighter. Evidently, he wasn’t done just yet. 

“Well, guys,” Ted said to the room. Roy finally tugged away, but he kept a firm grasp around your waist as the two of you turned to listen to Ted’s address. “We lost. You don’t need me or anyone else to say it, because the look on your faces says it all.” Ted’s southern drawl felt like therapy. Within seconds, the team felt acknowledged, and that was all that mattered. “We all knew this was going to be tough, and for just a moment I want you all to forget the score, forget the goals and whatever else, and just think of how you all played like a proper team.” 

Ted had a way with words that you knew was the main reason his career was so vast. You didn’t know a thing about American football, but you knew that Ted was a stellar coach whether it was football or soccer in his eyes.

“You played as a team today,” Ted continued. “And sure, you’re allowed to be sad about the outcome, I’m not about to tell you you can’t feel that sting, but—.” Roy squeezed your waist. You wondered if he was doing it subconsciously. “But you all need to know that you were a unit today. One that has got us up through these ranks and back on the radar of the Premier League, even if the FA Cup wasn’t ours this time around.” 

His words settled over the room and brought back a sense of self to all the players. Next to you, Roy breathed out softly and in understanding. You could feel the tension within him dissipate ever so slightly. 

And then, that all went away. 

“Knock knock!” a voice sounded from the door to the locker room. A second later, a face you didn’t recognise turned the corner and into the room. “Awh no, sorry for the loss, lads,” he said, as your eyes darted quickly around the room, trying to find any semblance of familiarity. You found it in Jamie’s eyes instantly. “Though, not fully sorry. Because Man City fuckin’ won!” His Mancunian accent reverberated throughout the room.

You understood immediately, as you watched Jamie’s hands ball into fists. The rest of the team stayed back, as if glued to their cubbies. This was Jamie’s father. It had to be. 

Jamie’s dad pottered further into the room, towards his son. Jamie stood up as he did, sucking a deep breath into his tired lungs. “My boy, my boy. You bottled it didn’t ya?” 

Your entire body tensed as everyone observed, not saying a word. Jamie’s dad only kept coming, not paying any mind to the other players in the room. Roy’s grip on your waist tightened suddenly, as if he could feel your anxiety rising. You could feel the same from him; every muscle in his body tried desperately to hold back. 

Jamie’s father lunged towards his son’s face, so close that Jamie couldn’t look anywhere else. “You hear me, boy? You fuckin’ bottled it, didn’t ya?” he repeated. 

“Don’t speak to me that way,” Jamie said quickly, seething. 

“Wha?” his father faked not hearing him, getting even closer. 

“Do not speak to me that way,” Jamie repeated. His father looked up to his face, catching his eye lethally. 

Your gut lurched as his father kept going, kept repeating wha?, kept getting closer and closer to his boy’s face. This was vile, and you could hardly believe no one was doing anything.

“Wanna say that to me again, boy?” 

Jamie stood his ground, puffing out his chest to be bigger, straightening out his spine to be taller, and better, and whatever else he hadn’t learned from his shit-bag of a father. 

“Huh?” he said again, louder. “Huh!” he exclaimed. Alongside his voice, his hands bombarded into Jamie’s chest– hard.

Something within you snapped. Your chest compressed, your intestines warped, and your legs started moving. Roy’s grip disappeared from around your waist as you rushed forward, not giving a shit about the audience, or about the guys, or about Nate. Nate, who was standing behind Ted and Beard, saying and doing nothing. 

Inside, you stopped caring. You didn’t give a fuck if he hated you being around, you didn’t give a fuck if you’d get in trouble from this outburst, but you had to do something– anything. Jamie Tartt was being publicly abused by his father in front of your eyes, and you couldn’t fucking stand it. 

Maybe this is what Roy meant. You were the glue. You kept everyone together, you brought Roy back to the team. Maybe this is what you’d always been meant to do– protect these boys from whatever you fucking could, when they weren’t able to for themselves. 

As Jamie recovered, ready to strike, you were already one step ahead. In a fraction of a second, you were already beside his father, fist raised. When your knuckles hit his skin, you finally came back into the room. There were two crashes; one from the impact of your fist on his father’s cheekbone; the second from him hitting the floor unceremoniously. 

Quickly, Beard approached you and hoisted Jamie’s dad up by his armpits. The two of them backed out of the door, clambering over stray shoes and shirts and whatever else that lay on the floor. Without any warning, two large arms wrapped around you from behind and pulled you off the ground. You knew it was Roy as soon as you smelled his cologne. You smiled inappropriately, and then you chuckled to yourself deviously. 

You’d just punched Jamie’s piece of shit dad in the fucking face. 

And it felt fantastic. 

Clatters sounded from the outside corridor. Beard breathed heavily as he made his way back into the locker room, and the door slammed loudly behind him. The air felt heavy as eyes darted around the room. The guys looked at each other, then to Beard, then to you. Roy still held you tightly, dangling you above the ground as you tried your damned hardest not to burst into laughter. 

You couldn’t feel your hand. Your knuckles were red when you dropped your gaze to look. Your hand shook, finger bones stuck in place as they contemplated what their owner had just done– thrown a punch for the first time in her fucking life, and very haphazardly at that. 

When Jamie looked over to you, Roy finally dropped you to the floor. He leaned in close to your face, surveying your eyes suddenly. This was a look you’d never seen from him; fear. Roy Kent wasn’t one to be afraid, but the way his eyes poured into your own had your chest crumpling beneath your skin. He was worried– he was frightened– for you. 

“You ok?” he whispered. 

You nodded quickly. “I’m not the one you need to be asking that to.” Your gaze moved over to Jamie in a heartbeat. 

Roy stood up straight once more, puffing out his chest as he inhaled a deep, shuddering breath. He started walking without warning, fists balled, towards the Richmond striker. Everyone held their breath, knowing that him and Jamie together were not a good combination. You, however, smiled to yourself without question. 

When Roy reached Jamie, he wrapped his arms around him immediately. Coach and player hugged in silence, as the gravity of what Jamie’s father had just done stuck to every wall in the room. He needed this– hands on help, a real show of love and affection.

You were happy that Roy was the one to breach contact. That’s exactly what Jamie had needed. 

“You ok?” Roy asked him, pulling away from the embrace. 

Jamie breathed out slowly. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“It’s not me you should be thanking,” Roy muttered. 

Both men turned back to face you. You held your wrist with care, not wanting to jolt your now fucked up hand. You smiled at the two of them knowingly, as everything settled back into place. 

Behind you, Nathan Shelley grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. On the way out of the locker room, he rushed past you harshly. You yelped to yourself as he pushed into you, jolting your wrist painfully. He stopped before you for just a second; he smiled. Your heart skipped a beat. 

“Watch yourself there,” he said, in some kind of fake honey-toned pitch. Then, he turned on his heels and left the locker room as fast as he’d bumped into you. 

Another threat. What a fucking joke. 

Your face soured immediately, you couldn’t help it. Inside your head, you imagined a world where you’d told Roy all that Nate had put you through recently. You could see it clearly– his whole body would tense, his fists would ball, his nostrils would flare, and he’d yell I’ll show that little fucker! 

Deeper within the indulgent part of your mind, he kissed you passionately before he went to confront Nate on your behalf. You swallowed quickly, trying to pat away those thoughts from the unexplored crevices of your mind. It was futile. Besides, you knew you still couldn’t tell Roy about Nate’s behaviour, for the sake of the team. 

One day, rest assured, you would. When Nate left Richmond, or something else happened to change things around here, that’s when you’d lay it all out for him. 

You were counting down the days.

“Hey,” Roy said, alerting you back into the room once more. Stood before you, he looked down at your hand. His brows furrowed. “Hm,” he growled gently. 

“It’s fine,” you lied. 

Softly, Roy laid his fingers atop your red knuckles. A sharp pain bombarded through your flesh instantly, forcing you to suck in a gasp. The pain spread to the rest of your hand, down your fingers, and twinged into your wrist. You couldn’t help it– you had to scream. “Motherfucker!” 

“Just as I thought,” Roy said. “You’ve fractured the shit out of your hand.” 

You squirmed on the spot, trying desperately to alleviate the pain you felt. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you rattled off, purely as a way to expel what you felt. 

“Come on.” Roy bent down to the floor and picked up your bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “Let’s go to the physio.” You hardly heard him, too focused on your hand. Roy gently wrapped his arm around your shoulders, leading you out of the room. “See you in a bit, lads!” he exclaimed to the room. 

The two of you turned into the empty corridor ay Wembley, walking slowly as you tried to hold onto the last of your composure. 

“God,” you hissed. “Why the fuck did I punch Jamie’s dad?”

“Because someone had to,” Roy replied. “And besides.” He glanced at you unknowingly, as you remained preoccupied on your self-inflicted injury. “It was fucking hot.”

You groaned immensely, dropping your head onto Roy’s shoulder. “It doesn’t fucking feel like it,” you whined. Roy couldn’t help but smile. 

“Oh, believe me,” he said lowly, indulging in you being this close to him. “It was.” 

Roy held you all the way to the physio. Secretly, he’d never been happier that you’d decided to be so reckless. Perhaps, he thought, he was rubbing off on you just as much as you’d changed him for the better.

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[cloveroctobers]

HOLD UP — Roman Reigns x black! Reader

A/N: not me attempting to write for this man and I’m supposed to be on a writing break?? I had a storyline in my head, heard this song from my girl (finally), and I’m about to go on a SWAT binge-watch once this season is over so that’s my excuse for all of this. Hope you have your popcorn ready!

WARNINGS: language, famous reader, slight cross-over with another show hence the tags, hint of toxicity, infidelity, crime, + me not knowing much about wrestling or S.W.A.T. but winging it! It’s only fiction!!! 😉

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊

“You know what? Fuck her and fuck you too!” You yelled, smacking the food that was already prepared right towards where Roman stood.

It didn’t have to be like this.

What could have been a great normal Saturday evening, turned for the worse all because a man, who was supposed to be your man turned around and played you. How? By sleeping with the “friend,” (turned assistant) he told you not to worry about. You were just getting into a pretty solid choreo to Beyonce’s, “Tyrant,” over a steaming pot with the headphones blasting into your ears when your phone started going off more than your version of usual.

It was to the point you were ready to put it on Do Not Disturb but your gut told you to get into it. Sure it could have been anybody: your family, your manager, publicist, or even some friends…in this case? It happened to be the whole damn universe.

The headlines is what really got you:

“Entrepreneur Tribal Chief Roman Reigns Sex-Tape Leaked!”

Along with the shady subtitles underneath: The multi-business owner’s intimate moments at what seems to be one of his places of business the casino half hotel: “The Medallion,” have been leaked! By the looks of it, it doesn’t appear that the woman in the video shares any resemblance to girlfriend and actress…but does look a whole lot like his personal assistant Celosia “Losi,” Darlington. Perhaps they aren’t as secure in their relationship as actress…claims! See below for the steamy video.

At first you didn’t want to believe it, firmly wanting for your girl delulu to kick in but unfortunately you knew this time you could believe the headlines. The declined calls you had to keep hitting as you took a breath to just play the video. You had to see with your own eyes what had been done, it’s always about actions more than word of mouth and Roman showed you exactly who he was.

A no good piece of shit.

You met him back in ‘13 after taking on an action role, which would be filmed at the newly built casino: The Medallion. That same place of business that always got him into some shit—yet he always knew how to polish everything up so nicely regardless of any heat that went his way. Of course there was some attraction that formed over the six months of filming although he didn’t have a major role on screen versus behind it, his presence was surely felt. It took two years after that at the premiere of another film of yours for any relationship besides professional to form and sometimes you wished you would have stayed away.

This was one of those times.

To be in a relationship since mid 2015–minus the minor breakups just for it all to truly crumble now was the biggest punch in the face. And you may not be one of his Bloodline fighters but you were sure about to hand him one.

When he enters the house, not long after you’ve been going into a deep dive of everything from watching the video to various gossip websites and landing on Twitter of all places, you place the phone down face up as you rest your hands on the island counter. He pecks your cheek multiple times as he holds your hip, not picking up on the tension just yet before he takes a place on the other side of the island. Your jaw was set as you used the sleeve to wipe his kisses from your skin, eyes burning flames at the clueless man across from you.

“Smells good as hell in here. How was your day?” Is the first thing he says, finally looking up from his phone.

And you can’t help but to scoff at this, “it was going well baby, until I found out that you and your dick went swimming at The Medallion.”

Which lead to a heated stare from Roman, “…What’re you talking about?”

“Stop being stupid, Joe! Unless you can’t help it. Everybody knows including me! Y’all played in my face for who knows how long and you thought coming in here all regular was gonna be cool?” The pointer and thumb finger were jabbed right in his direction as you spoke before you were gripping the island so tight, it should have snapped but only quality was allowed in this house.

Roman kept his face straight as he clips, “I think you should start with watching your tone and talk to me with some sense.”

“Why? When you don’t have any?” Your head was tilted to the side, just begging for him not to continue to get smart with you because things will start to fly in a minute if he kept it up.

His big ass included.

Roman clenched his eyes shut in frustration before replying, “i honestly don’t know what you’re talking about, so please feel free to enlighten me.”

Humorless laughter bubbled past your lips as you decided to play this game just for a bit, “honestly, when’s the last time you saw Losi?”

His shoulders lifts, “a day or two ago. She’s taking personal time off, why?”

“Sure she is! Right on time for everything to unfold like the messy bitch that I told you she is.” You exclaim with your hands up in the air, “was this y’all plan all along? To humiliate me?”

As the silence filled the kitchen, it was shortly interrupted by the vibrating of your phone which rattled on the counter and finally the pinging from Roman’s own phone. A quick glance Roman sends to the device, it was a simple text from Losi herself which read: “I’m so sorry ro!”

He’s truthfully had a blind eye to what has been happening. Roman’s been back and forth between the casino and the ring along with a few meetings in between that he barely looked at his phone until he walked through his home’s front doors. There’s a furrow of his brows then at Losi’s text but it doesn’t take him long to figure it out when he thinks back to the accusations that you previously just thrown in his face combined with your attitude.

Your head was still tilted as you cooed with petty intent, “Uh oh…doesn’t look like there’s a smile on your face now when reading anything Losi says.”

Roman runs his hands down his face in exhaustion and guilt. When he opens his eyes, yours are still glaring at him. This conversation was going to be bad tonight whether he wanted to have it or not. He made this bed so now he had to lay in it.

“Babe—

“Na uh! Don’t start that shit now because you’ve been caught.” You held your hand up in the air, “Weren’t you the one who told me that you didn’t want to fuck her? Then you went and did it! When?!”

Roman runs his tongue over his bottom lip and bites down on it, “I don’t even—a few weeks ago? It didn’t mean shit though and I want you to know that. I don’t and won’t ever love her the way that I love you. I fucked up and i can admit that.”

If this was love then this man can keep that shit forever. Never did you ever think at this point in your relationship that the downfall would be Roman’s attention turning to another woman for a night.

“You can? Were you ever going to if this didn’t come out? You’ve been sitting on this for weeks and she’s been smiling in my face and more chatty—ohhh.” You knocked your finger into the air in realization, “she’s been plotting on this moment.”

Roman blinks with a shake of his head, “what? No.”

“You let the balloon stuffed booty fool you, baby.” You clapped, “along with the cute shy office siren thing she had going on the outside. I been knew she was feeling you and I couldn’t be mad at that! I knew what I had. As long as she didn’t try anything but it only took a year for you to fold right when everything was falling into place.”

He had another personal assistant who’s been working for him since The medallion began to stay consistent in flourishing, Ms. Charlene, who was older in her mid-fifties and actually good friends with your aunt. She was probably the best one Roman was ever going to get but she decided to retire early? And moved all the way out to Liberia but still did her original role as a tax preparer on the side but you didn’t hear that from me—your narrator.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it, joe. The gym just had its successful grand opening after its bombing a month ago, you just announced that you were expanding the medallion to be worldwide with plans of doing the same for Bloodline. I’m hosting the Tony awards, you’re planning to propose, and Losi is trying to start her own business by creating some plant spa, which gives her just enough motive to leak the tape so she’s financially taken care of while we’re here looking dumb as fuck.” You deeply exhale while Roman pressed his tongue into his cheek in thought.

He didn’t want to believe that either but one thing about you? Your mind was always going and connecting the dots. He knew that there was something about Losi that you didn’t rock with and he didn’t see. When it came to his businesses he wanted to be the only one running things and sure he never wanted to make you uncomfortable yet he and Losi went way back and her resume was top notch. Overall Roman believed that the two of you could just coexist at some point, although Losi put in more effort to be friendly with you, you weren’t feeling it.

Ultimately you had to agree to disagree on the subject. It wasn’t a big problem until it unfortunately became one of course. He didn’t have the ring and it’s been in the works since last year but he knew what he wanted it to look like based on your preferences and kept the sketch secured and out of sight…so he thought.

He knew he wanted forever with you but he allowed himself to get stupefied by someone he thought was a friend and should have stayed in that place.

“Nah Lo’s not like that, she’s a good girl.”

Roman didn’t know if he believed that himself anymore but it still came out of his mouth.

You felt your eye twitch, “you keep telling yourself that and that’s probably what you praised her with when you were hitting it from behind too right?”

“Relax,” his stare is hard from underneath his eyelashes, as if he’s attempting to command you in doing so, “I didn’t know she was filming us, Alright?”

That much you could tell.

“Yeah okay, so that makes it better?!”

“No it doesn’t! And I’m aware of that. I want to marry you which you somehow know—

“Then why do this to me? To us?! We were doing so well and came so far just for you to ruin it all like this was for nothing.” You tried to focus on your breathing but from Roman’s stance he could see that it was more of a panting from you, to keep from crying.

The last thing you wanted was for him to comfort you but he did find himself reaching his hand out some over the island, just in case. He hated that this was happening, that he was causing you pain and not the fact that this was biting him in the ass, he knew what he had done and had to pay the price, he could take that but he didn’t like the twist in his chest at the sight of your anger, your pain, yet he didn’t really have a reason to justify this. There was no justifying the infidelity or the past gaslighting of your concerns you expressed once Losi came along. You had dreams and took that as a sign just as much of what you witnessed in person. Roman would always reassure that it was just your mind lying to you and being paranoid until he proved everything to be true.

“It’s not for nothing…we’ve been through so much shit together that we can get through this too.” Roman states with determination in his eyes, “I don’t know what exactly you want to hear from me but I’m telling you that choice I made that night meant nothing. It happened once, I was on one that night, should have known better than to let my guard down and I told her we won’t ever do that shit again because I’m in love with you. I need you.”

It was your turn to bite down on your lips and nod your head, “that sounds nice, really but there’s no way you expect me to just leap back into your arms just because you’re looking at me that and all the sweet nothings you hand over will magically make this okay when it most likely won’t be.”

He swallows, “What are you saying?”

“Look around! You can’t have that much trust in her to believe this wasn’t calculated can you? I mean you trusted her enough to not let your hot steamy night get out but look where that got you. A tape! You had that girl in my face, in this house, trying to get us to be besties long before and this is what y’all go and do? The disrespect is so real so…you know what? Fuck her and fuck you too!”

Roman dips in his head in understanding, even if he has to make a jump back from the plates of sides that are sent his way but that doesn’t mean he has to take it. “I get that you’re in your feelings but I’m telling you right now, I’m not gonna take any more of you talking crazy to me tonight. It’s been a long day.”

“Excuse me?!” Your brows are raised, “I’ll call you every name until the sun comes back if it makes me feel better—

“But that’s the thing, it won’t so why waste your breath?” His chin is raised in such arrogance.

It’s your turn to be wide eyed now. Did Roman expect you to just not react like he was good at doing? You studied him then, noticing how stoic he was but his eyes said different before he tightened his stare. He was letting his ego come out to play and that was a dangerous game.

“Hmm let’s see what will? Should I dump this gumbo right in your face? Mess your precious house up? Or get in touch with Jey to see if he has any insight to how quickly the success of Bloodline got back up and running. He’s been quiet since the grand opening and that’s not like our boy.” The smirk on your face was enough to get Roman to charge over to you and get in your face.

Jey was family, always would be no matter how ugly the business got. First it was his twin, Jimmy who Roman kicked out and you knew Jey was feeling not only a way about that but also Roman’s big headed authority. It was only a matter of time before Jey stepped down and you knew it was coming based on conversations you had. Roman also had a feeling that you knew more than what you were saying and withholding information was a huge negative, although you weren’t part of the business you would be if you took that title of being Roman’s wife.

You stared up at Roman sweetly while he pressed his forehead harshly into yours, “you don’t scare me and you don’t want to ever cross me, love of my life or not.”

Running your hands up Roman’s clenched torso and up over his biceps to grip his shoulders tightly you say, “well…this old love of your life, is about to show you just how much you’re gonna lose and I know how much you hate to lose.”

He squeezes your neck pulling you so that you’re nose to nose, “if that’s how you want to play, then you better not miss.”

“Great talk, baby. Now let go.” Her nails dig into his shoulder blades while it’s Roman’s turn to tighten his jaw.

Eventually he lets go, running a palm over his mouth as you get back to breathing although your insides want to ache but you numb it down. You crack your knuckles before reaching forward to wipe the crumbs off the counter into the sink and turn to leave but not without glancing at the contents on the floor.

“Hey, I think I would have loved being your wife but the world is always turning right? Better luck next time I guess.” You shrug your shoulders, “and you might want to clean that up before you get some ants that look like Losi. See you soon, Joe.” You explain with a cold wink that reminds the man to breathe after you leave the home for good.

Roman didn’t know what he was going to do just yet or what you had in mind but for right now, he had to sit on his loneliness over a meal that you prepared which he didn’t get to share with you at the end of the table this time around.

[2 weeks later…]

The saying April showers brings May flowers could apply here, depending on how you looked at it. It was difficult being back in your own space, once sharing it with the Cane Corso, “Atonga,” that Roman gifted to you last year for your birthday and what you sent back days after you left his house. You were ready to send everything back (or donate) but Roman wasnt having that, anything that got sent back to his place or his businesses he redirected most to your parents with the power for it not to be sent anywhere else.

As for Atonga, he was waiting for you on your doorstep one morning with a simple message attached: he’s closer to his mom.

The gift of Atonga was for protection and you built a strong bond with the dog, overall you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss the boy so you didn’t put up much of a fight when it came to him. As for the outside noise? The paparazzi followed your every move even more so now, you didn’t keep your head down but you kept it on mute with every outing. You didn’t need the advice of your publicist on what to do because regardless you had your own media training due to previous work and would ultimately do what you felt.

You didn’t have to offer the world a damn thing.

Your relationship with Roman was one of the most trendiest relationships to talk about and it was killing them not to know much more of what was going on. However Roman gave some crumbs on the recent interview he was on and spoke some with the paps that followed him around but it was enough for people to speculate you have broken up again.

A relationship that had so many sides to it was stuck on being face up at this time.

Over these two weeks you weren’t cooped up in the house crying over this mess, you got to deep cleaning, self-care appointments: nails done, hair done, everything did, spent time in the gym mostly with a personal trainer that Roman never cared for but he mercilessly stopped responding to your meeting requests after the second day, which left you to train with the twins and Naomi instead, and being in the club with the widest of smiles.

After all that you were slowly getting back into work. Thankfully your manager agreed to put a pause on the work load until you were ready, where you got the outline on paper on how award shows were meant to run, then you would make the trip in a few weeks to see how the stage was in person.

“YO,” Jey calls out your name from downstairs, his voice echoing all throughout the house that you forgot he was even still here. Probably eating up all your food while watching ghetto ass Tubi or BMF—they were the same thing honestly.

Getting so wrapped up in the outline, you push yourself off your bed and head out into the hall and call back, “what I tell you about using your outside voice in my house, jey?!”

The barking that sounded as you got to the steps made you frown, actually making you put more speed in your steps as you went down them. When you peered up on the second to the last step, you spotted a familiar face standing at the front entrance of your home while Jey stood off to the side holding Atonga back.

There stood Miguel Alfaro, a ex-boyfriend of yours who sported his dark SWAT attire.

“You got company,” Jey muttered as he eyed the pale buzzed hair guy.

Deeply exhaling you step down and make your way over to the men and fold your arms, “Miguel, what’re you doing here?”

“Can’t be anything good,” Jey adds while he continues holding Atonga by his collar.

Miguel blinks at him and then the dog, “Mind if you put him away so I can have a civil conversation?”

Jey sucked air between his teeth with a grin, “oh this little guy? He’s a sweetheart.”

Miguel raises his brows in disbelief, one hand that was resting on his waist moved to where his firearm was, which the two of you noticed. Jey met your eyes and with a nod of your head, he quickly pulls the dog away to one of the guest rooms for a moment before making his way back.

“You don’t look that happy to see me,” Miguel attempts to joke with a raise of his hands, “that kinda hurts my feelings.”

Lifting your shoulders you reply, “I can’t say the expression on my face would be any different if you didn’t have that monkey suit on but—

Jey snorts out a laugh, which he clears his throat afterwards once Miguel sends him a sharp look before Miguel turns his attention back to you.

Miguel shortly exhaled through his nostrils, “Right, this suit is actually doing you a favor so I’d be a little more thankful.”

“Whatchu mean by that?” Jey clasps his own hands in front of him, defense mode was activated now.

You exhale, “Miguel, I don’t have time for this push and pull shit you commonly like to do, so just spit it out so you can get out my house.”

“I see your attitude still hasn’t changed. I thought we squashed our beef and it was all love?” Miguel’s mockery was still there and highly irritating.

Tilting your head to the side you cackle, “was that before or after you trashed my character to the tabloids over a little relationship when we were what? Eighteen?”

Miguel frowns, “I wouldn’t call my first serious relationship of three years to be little. Which is why I said what I said, if things don’t benefit you then you couldn’t care less. Maybe that’s why Roman did what he did and you didn’t give enough.”

“You don’t know me you spineless bitch!” And you stepped to him but an arm goes right across your torso from Jey before he shields you completely from Miguel.

Jey shakes his head while Miguel breathed out a laugh as he pinches at his straight nose, “I think you should stop instigatin’ and just say what you need to say, bro.”

“That’s officer to you, bro.” Miguel clarifies with a sharp stare but Jey just mockingly nods his head back and forth.

“My fault, officer pig.”

You grip Jey’s wrist and move to stand beside him, meeting his eyes to show him that this was mainly your problem not his.

Miguel ran his tongue over his teeth in annoyance but to your surprise he takes the higher road, “you’re right, I apologize.” He starts but directs that apology mostly at you, “I didn’t come here to start shit, I truthfully came to tell you something that’ll benefit—that’ll be useful to you.”

Clapping your hands together you rolled your hands about, awaiting for him to just say what needed to be said since he first opened his mouth to you.

“It’s Roman.”

Both you and Jey felt your blood run cold at this.

Miguel flicks his eyes from the both of you as he says his next words, “He’s been out in Florida this past week and recently made a purchase on a building to potentially expand either The Medallion or Bloodline. Miami’s team been watching him since he’s touched down in their city but a major red flag went off after recent events.”

Both you and Jey shoot confused glances at each other.

“Don’t tell me you two aren’t aware that Celosia Darlington was found dead yesterday night off route 41?” He deeply scans their faces for any changes in their expressions, “It appears that she was in a hit and run accident, she was thrown from behind off her motorcycle and it’s being investigated by my team.”

Jey has his eyes in slits, “and you think Roman had something to do with it? You just said he was in Florida when this happened.”

“Correct, yet a vehicle registered to him was found on surveillance…which leaves us to believe that he knows what happened and who was driving his vehicle.” His eyes lingers on you for some time before carrying on, “Also the building he purchased in Miami belonged to Celosia’s step-brother, who has been missing since March.”

Massaging the space in between your brows you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “What does Celosia’s step-brother have to do with Roman?”

“Roman loaned Celosia’s step-brother the funds to purchase that exact building back in January and her step-brother has a history of money-laundering.”

“Fuck.” Jey hisses.

This was bad, real bad.

Roman wouldn’t just loan a large amount of money without purpose, especially to someone he couldn’t trust. If he did this for Celosia’s step-brother, there had to be a reason and if he was missing? Then things really were turning to shit and it’s possible that Roman had something to do with it. However you and Jey both would never reveal that.

Miguel continues, “He’s been arrested and flown in to us. And I’m here to let you know that you’re also being suspected. The team will be here in the next fifteen so…that’s just a tip from me to you.”

“Why are you looking out for me?” You suddenly ask.

“Because believe it or not, I really loved you once upon a time,” Miguel disclosed with a soft sigh, “I want you to win and don’t want to see you get hurt any further. Especially if it’s at the cost of a grown ass business man who goes by: The tribal chief.”

“Aye, watch yourself. You’re not part of what we got going on, so you wouldn’t get it.” Jey warns while Miguel raises a hand in surrender, although he wants to laugh in the bronzed skinned man’s face, thrilled he could return the favor of striking a nerve.

Miguel looks at you one last time affirming, “fifteen minutes.”

“Fifteen minutes.” You dip your head, “Thanks, Miguel.”

“Ah, don’t mention it.” He winks, “but also don’t forget it.”

Which makes you roll your eyes although a small smile appears on your lips which Miguel mirrors with a crooked one. Jey breaks that up real quick, waving the swat member towards the door, followed by a forceful close of the door after Miguel takes his sweet time whistling along and eyeing the downstairs of the home.

Jey blows out a breath, “I see your type is assholes.”

“Jey, now is not the time.”

“I know sis.” Jey grips the back of his neck feeling some stress coming on, “I think I need to slide, hit up Jimmy, Sikoa and check on bloodlines where the rest of the family is most likely at.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t be here when they get here but please be careful…they’ll probably be on all of our asses now.”

Jey nods and steps forward to grip the side of your neck and place a kiss to your forehead while you hold your hand on top of his. “Can I take Atonga with me?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to steal my dog.”

“What can I say? Everybody loves uncle Jey!” He pops his collar with a grin while you fan your hand at him as a signal for him to do so.

Fifteen minutes gives you enough time to set a timer, change from lounge clothes to another set, have a cup of raspberry lemonade, and have your bag near by ready to go once that knock came at your door. You kept offline because you’re sure anything you did up to the time swat came to your door, would be monitored.

You kept calm as those fifteen minutes came around quickly and took your time getting to the door once the harsh knocks sounded. Turning the tv down, you take some seconds before getting to your feet, remote still in hand as you head to the front door, eyes fixated on the tv as you pull the door open.

Turning to the familiar three faces you meet each of their eyes in faux surprise, “Hondo, Deacon, Tan? I’d say it’s good to see you but I’m sensing this isn’t a friendly visit.”

Hondo dips his head to confirm that as he says your name, “hey…we’re gonna need you to come with us.”

You blink, “okay…and it takes three of you to do that?”

“It’s a special situation,” Deacon tells, “involving your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend? Roman Reigns and his personal assistant Celosia Darlington who was murdered last night.”

They all watch your face at this news.

Sucking in your cheeks you answer, “Well…I guess you’re right then, it is a special situation.”

Tan and Deacon share a glance at your words.

“Target the people that had the most interactions with the deceased.” You nod.

Hondo tries to ease how this appears to make it sound better but he knows you’re smarter than to believe his attempt to smooth over the truth of your words.

Tan is the one to speak next, “You know it’s nothing personal and how this goes.”

You give a tight lipped smile, “right so…which one of you is going to watch me grab my bag or…do one of you want to grab it for me?”

How did you have ties to SWAT? Your father was part of a team out in Long Beach back where you grew up and did some work with the twenty division in his remaining years before a serious injury left him paralyzed ending his career. You ended up following in his footsteps at twenty-one, working for the LAPD and working your way into the S.W.A.T. field before you gave that up to…you guessed it! be a full-time actress once you caught your big break.

And sure they still liked to give you shit for “abandoning,” them but it was evident that’s not where your heart laid, although you proved how big of an asset you were for the short time you were part of S.W.A.T..

“You’re not being charged with anything so that’s not necessary.” Hondo states with a hand for you do so.

Tan mutters, “Yet.”

Which earns him a warning glance from Hondo while Deacon does in fact, keep his eyes on you. You’re turning off the tv, reaching for your bag, then heading back to the front door, and hold up a finger to step back and grab your keys off the side table by the door. They give you time to lock up your home before you follow them to the charger.

You’re quiet on the ride to headquarters and the men aren’t sure what to make of that but they decide to not press you on the ride.

There would be enough of that once you’re in the questioning room.

Holding onto the strap of your bag, your eyes are looking all around the building seeing how much has changed and what hasn’t. There’s mostly new faces that already made up their minds as they eye you on your way by.

Guilty.

When you see Roman in passing, in handcuffs being lead in the opposite direction by the commander, it feels like many films you shot before with this moment being in slow motion. Roman can’t take his eyes off you and you see just how everything was taking a toll on him. He may appear collected to everyone else but you saw the stress underneath his eyes, along with the longing for you in them and how his hair was left hanging instead of neatly slicked back into a bun.

You don’t owe him any comfort but you’re not sure if you want to see him suffer either. When you love someone, that means you open up your heart but what happens when you open it up too far and that person leaves it badly bruised?

Start looking out for yourself and hold your own, that’s what.

Shifting your head, you carry on as Roman is almost breaking his neck watching you leave from his sight yet again. He was waiting on his lawyer and had nothing else to say, which meant he was being sent right back to the holding cell while it was your turn to speak your peace.

“Colombian?” You quiz Tan who slides a mug your way with a plastic cup full of ice on the side.

Tan is half sarcastic and half joking, “only the best for our superstar.”

You snicker, knowing just how to get underneath his skin for simply existing before he leaves you alone with Hondo.

“Given the circumstances, you can already guess why you’re here.” He starts as he watches you carefully plunk the ice cubes into the mug before using your pinky finger to spin the contents together.

You sip at the homemade iced coffee, “Losi’s been murdered and the sex tape she made with my—Roman was leaked. Did anyone find out if she was behind it?”

“We can confirm that she was and was supposed to receive $25,000 for it but only received $10,000.” Hondo responds with his hands clasped on top of a folder.

You snort, “tough titties.”

“How so?”

“It’s evident that she was money hungry.” You notify, “I don’t get involved in Roman’s businesses but I know he had to be giving her a good amount since he didn’t have a separate assistant—that I know of—to take care of the gym business. Bloodline has much more value to him than the casino.”

“Right…because he comes from a family full of fighters except for his mother.”

“Yup.” You answer and add more sugar, stir, wipe your finger clean on a near by napkin and take another sip.

Hondo opens the folder and spins it to face you before spreading the crime scene photos along, “Was the money the last straw for you? Enough to make you so angry to chase Celosia down the freeway, run her down, get out the car, and finish her off with specific shots to the body: one to the Radial Artery as she pleaded for her life, one to the Aorta, and right to the head to end it all? Did it make you feel any better?”

You swallowed the coffee as you looked away from the photos to meet the bald man in front of you, “It’s real tiring, hearing how everyone dictates how I should feel or questioning how I am feeling because of some shit someone else did. I get by and no I wasn’t expecting to hear how tragically Losi’s life ended, yet I can’t say I’ll shed a tear for a snake.”

“A snake that also asked you for money over the phone after the tape got leaked and you laughed at her.”

You lifted your shoulders not bothered that they knew this information, “what else was I supposed to do? I didn’t owe that girl a damn thing after she slept with my man.”

“Then you killed her.”

You stare up at the ceiling in frustration thinking about how it was once upon a time on the other side, “I’ve played a criminal in a few movies, doesn’t mean I am one in real life.”

Hondo pushes his lips out with a shrug of his shoulders, “Sure but you’re also dating a crime boss.”

You laugh, “Hondo, are you forreal? No. Innocent until proven guilty.”

“You’re still covering for him.” Hondo sighed with disappointment, “we know that both the medallion and bloodline partly stands for some underground organized crime and if we can’t get Roman for the murder of Celosia then he’s going down for the disappearance and presumed murder of her step-brother. Along with drug-trafficking, aggravated assault, and conspiring to commit money laundering. When he goes down, so will everyone else involved with him.”

You nod, “that’s the thing…I’m not involved with him anymore and I don’t have any clue about any of what you just mentioned. I’m also innocent.”

“Bullshit!” Hondo slams his hands down on the table, “you know, I’d hate to see everything you worked so hard for go right in the trash because of someone like him. I thought you let go of Swat to have a different safe life but you’re in just as deep. On the wrong got damned side! Are you sure Roman ever loved you because if he did? You wouldn’t be sitting here.”

Those words had weight especially training underneath Hondo. It stung but one can’t forget, you were also part of this team not too long ago, so you would never show just how much it did.

“Hondo…are you charging me or am I free to go?”

Funny, Roman said the same thing pretty fast with the request to call a lawyer and they had more on him than on you.

“I think you should keep that seat warm a little longer and I’ll be back.” Hondo advises with a stern look before he scrapes his chair back to exit the room.

In the quiet you sit, one hand on the cup of coffee while the other rests on your lap. It’s parallel to Roman who sits in the cell, elbows buried in his knees as his wavy hair curtains his face. He couldn’t believe he was here, how everything was slowly crumbling all because of a screw up, although he’s had many voices tell him before that everything would catch up to him at some point.

He didn’t think he’d see the day, not when he was just getting started. It was just like you said, he wasn’t good at taking any loss and he hasn’t yet. If he had to lose it all then he was damn sure determined to build it back up again with his bare hands if he had to. And every king needed its queen no matter which way she decides to play her own cards.

Roman’s played defense before and his queen wanted to be offense. There became more than one head of the table (secretly) when he met you so perhaps now was the chance for you to make some shots, not all.

Lifting his head, he closes his eyes and cracks his neck before clasping his hands together.

And he waited.

The door behind you opens, revealing heavy footsteps that tap rather than clunk as they make their way around the table. A small smile forms on your lips at the rim of the mug as you swallow, lowering the cup back to the table.

The man in the tan suit chooses to sit on the edge of the table and sends you his award winning smile as he says your name in greeting.

“Rock,” you address the burly man, “what took you so fucking long?”

His body lifts in laughter, “I’m a busy man lady but I always make time for family.”

Which lets you know he’s made a visit to the bloodlines first. You didn’t call him but you knew who did.

“So how can I help?”

“Can you go back and make joe not stick his dick in Losi?”

Rock exhales, “wish I could but you and I both know that was a Roman move not Joe.”

Which you already had time to think over. You had your own stage name and persona you had to put out into the world. Except you didn’t do too much in the public where it’ll reflect badly on who you were behind closed doors.

“I know,” you breathe out reaching over to rest your hand right on top of Rock’s who turns his own to squeeze yours warmly, “doesn’t make it hurt any less though.”

He pats your hand with his other, “we’ll get through this, we always do. Just hold on.”

“Always do, my grip is vice.” You wink while Rock nods his head, getting back to his feet.

“So I’ve heard, and that’s why you’ll always classify as a bloodline and if you ever want a career change—

You snort, “ha! I think I’ll choose early retirement before I change anything else.”

“Hold up, what’re you?! Thirty-one? You’ve got more fight in you than you say, this I see. So c’mon and continue to give ‘em hell so that they’ll never underestimate what the vice is all about.” He rests a free hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze before the door is pushed open, revealing Hondo and Deacon.

Rock fixes his suit jacket, “my client and I are finished here.”

“Wait a minute, aren’t you going to stick around for further questions?” Deacon’s eyes are in slits, clearly finding this suspicious.

Rock sends them his beaming smile, “you must have forgotten how well she’s capable of handling herself. You have nothing on her and all of this is just theories. I give you the next thirty to forty-five minutes to release my client and if you’re not done by then, I’ll remove her myself.”

“You have no authority here.” Hondo bites.

Rock’s smile never falters although a brow threatens to arch, “ah, so you haven’t checked my credentials yet…huge error on your part don’t you think? Gentleman.” He bids his farewell and Deacon follows him out with a clenched jaw.

Hondo turns back to you, resting his hands on the cool table as he leans towards you, “the hell are you all playing at?”

Wiggling your fingers in the air you sit back against the chair, “I’m just an actress.”

“Yeah…well we’ll see how good of an actress you really are.” Hondo snaps as he begins pacing before folding his arms, “now start talking, from the point you found out about the tape.”

Rock got a head start away from Deacon, sneaking his way into the holding area which is empty besides the person he’s looking for. He’s whistling now, shades covering his eyes as he strolls through the quiet area. He knows he has to be quick but he also knows that Deacon has lost sight of him. Rock makes his way over to the cell, still whistling as he spins, pressing his elbow against the cell before tossing his arm back with a white slip in Roman’s direction.

“Uce,” is all rock says before he circles back around, still whistling and then exits back out of the area unseen…well that’s until they look at the cameras later.

Roman waits for Rock to leave his sight before he pushes up to his feet, walks to the space where the white paper is resting, covering it with his foot before he shuffles all the way back to the bench. Once seated, he bends an arm down to pick at the edge of paper underneath his shoe and carefully unravels it.

His eyes quickly peers over the words and a smirk appears on his lips.

Offense: 1

S.W.A.T.: 0

Defense: ?

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ

[onlyangel4]

so high school. DR3.

daniel ricciardo x singer reader

y/n is a singer and her new single has hit the charts by storm. Lets look into moments before and during her relationship with formula one driver Daniel Ricciardo that influenced this new chart topper.

warnings-18+. cursing. drinking. brief mentions of pet loss. suggestive moments (no smut tho). tooth rotting fluff.

authors note- moments in order the lyrics appear in the song, not chronological. this is truly self-indulgent, an idea I have had forever, not requested by anyone. reader is australian but is constantly travelling and has properties in the english countryside and new york which end up being shared with daniel.

smau

i feel so high school every time i look at you

i wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

one month knowing daniel

you had met daniel a month ago, he had been at a charity event that you had attended and since then you kept on bumping into one another. and each time you bumped into him you shared flustered words and then found an excuse to leave his side and go and mingle with someone else. it was safe to say you felt chemistry with daniel. he was able to make you smile even when you were attending events on your off days. it had been one of those days.

there was nothing you wanted to do less than attend this premiere but it had already been released to the public that you were going to be in attendance. so you had to attend because otherwise there would be a flurry of disappointed fans, and you hated to think of disappointing the people that were the reason why you did what you did. so you painted on a smile, got into a dress that had been handpicked for you and forced yourself out of your hotel room and into the town car that had been waiting for you.

as soon as you arrived at the event you were reminded why you did not want to attend in the first place. the orchestra of camera shutters and paparazzi calling out for you sounded like a death march. but you were used to this so your false smile stayed on your lips, looking in the direction of whichever person called your name the loudest. this was a role that you knew how to play perfectly.

your eyes faltered from the cameras for a moment and found a certain driver halfway down the red carpet. In that moment you just wanted to run off, you liked daniel but you did not want him to have to deal with the false happy version of you. he deserved the happiest version of you, the one that could match his energy. your eyes flitted, looking for a way to get around him but it was too late the australian was already calling your name. oh the cameras were going to fucking love this.

you made your way over to him that fake smile playing on your lips, “fancy seeing you here stranger”, he spoke walking by your side.

“yeah i was here thinking you had a job that meant you travelled all over the world, however you are always in the same place as me. do i have a new stalker ricciardo?”, you teased softly, the fake smile turning into a real one for a moment before that light left your eyes.

“well if you must know the Silverstone grand prix is this weekend. So I had some free time and who doesn’t like a movie premiere”, he retorted, “i could accuse you of being my stalker, you are always where I am y/n”, he spoke and you rolled your eyes shaking your head slightly.

“i guess you could”, you said and you watched as the usual playful glint in his eyes turned to one of pure concern. you usually had a comeback for everything that he said to you, something that would make him laugh, so your blunt response made the man frown. wordlessly he took your arm leading you away from the paparazzi and into the cinema. it was early on in the premiere so not many people were there just yet and the press were all outside waiting for the arrivals. so you were safe away from prying eyes. he had found a dark corner in the entrance way and he looked down at you, concern still etched across his features.

“what’s wrong y/n?”, he questioned, “and don’t lie to me, i can read people pretty well, there is something up. I know it”, he spoke and you were left bamboozled. how could someone read you so well after only meeting you a maximum of five times.

an exasperated sigh fell from your lips, your eyes avoiding his. “i’m just having a bad day”, you whispered softly, “i had to have my cat, julien, put down at the weekend. this is the last place i wanted to come to but the fans knew i was going to be here so i didn’t want to disappoint them. but i know they will ask about him, that is all people are commenting after some paparazzi pictured me crying outside of the vets”, you spoke softly and you could see the worry on daniel’s face.

“oh y/n,iI saw that picture”, he frowned softly recalling the moment he saw the picture of you crying on twitter. It was a massive invasion of your privacy. daniel pulled you into his arms his arms enveloping you into a tight hug and you relaxed against him. “i am sorry for your loss”, he whispered softly and you just hugged him back.

the rest of the premiere daniel was pretty much glued to your side. usually he would mingle at these things but he did not feel comfortable leaving you especially since there were press interviews after the film. he made sure to be near you while you spoke to interviewers and if they brought up the picture of you outside of the vets he would laugh obnoxiously to divert the attention away from you and make the journalist lose their train of thought.

the one person you had hoped to avoid that night ended up being the one that made it tolerable.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

i'm sinking, our fingers entwined

cheeks pink in the twinkling lights

tell me 'bout the first time you saw me

one year dating daniel

“come on humour me danny”, you teased softly.

You were sat on your boyfriend’s lap hands playing with his loose curls. Two glasses of wine on the coffee table in the centre of your apartment.

“i have told you this story before”, he spoke with a laugh, finding it cute how much you wanted to listen to him.

“yeah but that was before we had been together for a year. come on danny it is our one year anniversary. i think you should treat me. come on tell me about the first time that you saw me.”, you basically begged. If you had been sober you definitely would not be acting this desperate but you were loved up and you just wanted to hear those words leave his lips. it was a story that warmed your heart. Even if you had heard it before.

“well it was at that charity event. i knew who you were, as you know my sister fucking loved you when she was a teenager, i couldn’t go anywhere near her room without hearing your first album”, he spoke and you laughed softly.

“that’s why she is my favourite sibling”, you chimed in.

danny just playfully rolled his eyes ignoring you and continuing with his little story, “and when i saw you i understood why people were so obsessed with you, the way you carried yourself was different than anyone else i had ever met. you were elegant but also down to earth at the same time. I think right there i knew you were going to become a fixture in my life”, he spoke truthfully. you were blushing as you buried your head in his neck, “see that is all i wanted to hear”, you laughed softly,

“so what did you think when you first saw me?”, he asked.

“i thought you were alright”, you spoke and he let out a bellowing laugh.

“ y/n y/ln you will never fail to amuse me” he spoke making you laugh. “i know you saw me and fell straight in love right there”, he spoke and you shook your head with a smirk.

“if that helps you sleep at night”, you teased and daniel just attacked your face with kisses moving so you were now laid on the couch with him hovering above you kissing your face. “well all that matters is right now and how incredibly in love i am with you y/n”, he spoke with a smile.

“and i am so in love with daniel”, you smiled before craning your neck upwards so you could kiss your boyfriend. just relishing alone time like this with him.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

i'm watching american pie with you on a saturday night

your friends are around, so be quiet

i'm trying to stifle my sighs

two months dating daniel

“babe it is just movie night, you can quit pacing”, daniel spoke watching rearrange the cushions and blankets sat out on the sofas in his apartment for the hundredth time in the past hour.

“danny it is not just movie night. i am meeting your friends for the first time it is a big fucking deal. what if they don’t like me or something”, you spoke your mind going at a million miles an hour. you had agreed to attend the weekly movie night that danny had with his friends whenever he was back home for summer break. this week danny was hosting so it felt like the perfect moment for you to meet his friends. you were going to meet six people in total. four of his closest childhood best friends and two of their girlfriends.

“babe they are going to love you. leah and emma have been bugging me about meeting you since the day they found out we were dating. they are big fans of your music and the boys will love you”, he spoke as he moved in front of you blocking you from your constant pacing his arms wrapping around your body caging you in, “you do not need to be worried. i promise”, he whispered softly as he pressed a gentle loving kiss to your lips. you relaxed in his grip, he could always bring you back down to earth and you were so grateful for him.

when the doorbell rang you took a deep breath grounding yourself taking daniel’s hand and walking over to the door with him. when he opened it you were met with two girls and their respective boyfriends behind them. “i am so sorry for this”, the taller of the boys, liam called out and before you could question what he mentioned both girl pounced on you pulling you into a tight hug. making both you and danny laugh out loud. “hiya”, you spoke with a smile. “danny told me you guys were fans i should have expected that”, you spoke with a smile.

the girls pulled you into the kitchen wanting to have ‘girl talk”, you did not seem to have a choice in the matter so you followed them and soon enough the other two guys showed up going into the living room to talk to daniel and the other guys.

“man when you told us that you were with y/n we started a separate group chat just so we could talk about whether you were having some kind of delusions”, liam spoke and danny playfully punched his shoulder.

“she’s real i told you”

“yep mate she is real. i have no idea what she sees in you but she is real.”

you and the girls wandered into the living room, “okay we are ready for movie night, debrief completed”, leah announced to the boys making them laugh. the group had already decided to watch american pie due to a horrified danny informing them that you were yet to see one of his favourite movies.

from his place on the sofa Daniel reached for your hand pulling you down and into his lap as you giggled softly. he grabbed one of the many blankets that were scattered across the sofa and pulled it over your bodies before pressing play on the film. the room was silent other than the sound of the television and laughs at the funniest parts of the movie. danny was watching your face attentively, trying to work out whether you were enjoying the film and from the smile on your lips he could tell that you were.

his lips ghosted across your neck scattering kisses on your skin making you turn to look at him. he then moved his lips to your ear, “eyes on the screen baby”, he gently scolded and you did as you were told, you continued to watch the film trying to not be distracted by the feeling of danny’s lips on your neck and his hands wandering over your body. Yyu just bit your lip, trying to keep your composure. moaning in front of your boyfriend’s friends was not the first impression you wanted to make. so you kept your eyes on the screen for the entirety of the film.

once it was finished you stood up saying goodbye to all of his friends, thanking them for letting you join the tradition of movie night. after you had shut the door behind the last one you turned to your boyfriend, “daniel ricciardo, you are going to be the death of me”

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? (kill me)

it's just a game, but really (really)

two years before daniel

you were sat in your dressing room at the tonight show starring jimmy fallon when your best friend, heather, stormed into the room. “y/n you need to see this”, she spoke and you cocked on eyebrow, confused as to what was so important but from the smile on heather’s face you could tell that it was a good thing and that you shouldn’t be worried.

she thrusted her phone into your hands and you met with a paused youtube video of a man who you recognised to be daniel ricciardo, a racing driver that your ex boyfriend had been obsessed with, in an interview setting microphone in his hand. he was kitted out in the full racing suit but the top half was tied around his waist signifying that this was post race. your finger extended to press play.

“so daniel, we all know that you like a little bit of pop culture”, the interviewer spoke and danny laughed.

“i’m well educated what can i say”

“well lets play a game of kiss, marry, kill”

“oh this is going to get me in trouble”, he spoke with a laugh running his hands through his hair, “but go on”

“so… ariana grande, katy perry or y/n y/ln”

a gasp left your lips when you heard your name mentioned, “just keep on watching”, heather encouraged so you looked back down at the phone.

“i wish i could say that is a hard one but it is so easy man”, daniel spoke, “kill katy perry, sorry katy cats, I just don’t know that much about her”, he explained. “kiss ariana grande, because well any guy would say that”, he laughed.

“and may y/n y/ln, number one, because my sister would kill me if i said anything else, she is obsessed with y/n”, he spoke and that made you laugh, “and she just seems like a genuine person and she is incredibly talented, if i could trick her into marrying me i would be a lucky man.”

your mouth was agape when you paused the video and handed heather her phone back, “how fucking cool is that”, heather spoke and you nodded your head.

“that is insane, I was not expecting that”

“not to mention he was sam’s favourite driver. Iibet he is realising what he fumbled when he lost you”, heather spoke and you just laughed shaking your head.

“it is very cool”, was all you could say.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

get my car door, isn't that sweet? (that sweet)

then pull me to the backseat (backseat)

no one's ever had me (had me), not like you

first date with daniel

it was safe to say that danny was fucking buzzing. it was the week after that award show that he stayed stuck to your side like a shadow and the week after the silverstone grand prix. He had gotten the courage to give you call and ask you whether you wanted to go to dinner with him. he had been expecting you to tell him to fuck of but when you said yes he was met with the need to plan the perfect date to sweep you off your feet.

you were also stressing about the date, you were a superstar, brands would die to have you wear their clothes so you had a million dresses lining your closet yet you couldn’t find the right thing. heather had to come over and stage an intervention. “this is not a life or death decision”, she told you, “daniel would die if you wore a paper bag”, she explained and you laughed softly.

“i just haven’t been on a date in a while, i don’t know where to start.”, you spoke and heather pushed past you going into your closet, “good job i know exactly what you need to wear”, she spoke as she knowingly reached for a hanger. pulling out a dress you forgot you own. It was black and floor length with a slight up your leg. it hugged all your curves just right and the neckline and straps were encrusted with silver diamonds. it was perfect.

“see i knew you would know what to do”, you spoke making your friend laugh. you got dressed and as soon as you put it on you knew it was the right thing to wear, your best friend had been right.

you smiled as you looked at yourself in the mirror, “okay perfect, now i better get going, henry will be waiting with the car”, you spoke to heather who nodded.

you made your way outside where you were met with your usual driver. you got into the back seat and he drove you to where you were meeting Daniel, “i will call you if i need you to pick me up henry”, you explained.

“okay dear, well i hope you don’t call because that means it is going well and you deserve this after some of those guys you have been involved with”, he spoke making you smile. henry was a father figure to you, he had been your driver since you first needed one seven years ago. he had been there through awful relationships and bad break ups. he had seen you at your worst and he only ever wanted you to be happy.

henry pulled up to the restaurant and before you could open your door it was opened for you. daniel had been waiting outside looking for your car and when you had pulled up he had come running over to be a gentleman and he had opened the door for you. it was a simple action but had been a massive green flag for you. he took your arm in his and brought you inside.

the night had been a great success, it was spent laughing and looking at one another longingly, it felt right for both of you and it was safe to say that you didn’t call henry. daniel ended up taking you back to his.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

truth, dare, spin bottles

you know how to ball, i know aristotle

first christmas break dating daniel

spending the Christmas break with your boyfriend was an absolute no brainer, you ad just finished a world tour so some much needed time off was exactly what you required. spending time with his friends with you by his side was something that he had very much looking forward to. this was what had led to you being sat on the grass adjacent to a basketball court. daniel was playing basketball with a group of his childhood friends.

you had both leah and emma either side of you, just catching up while the boys played ball. you had found good friends in both of the girls, yes they had been a little starstruck when they first met you but now they were totally chill, just seeing you as another friend something that you were very grateful for.

your focus was on emma as she spoke about the holiday she had been on with her boyfriend when the boys came running up to you, “we have decided that you ladies are slacking”, Daniel joked the playful look in his eyes telling you that he had something planned. and wordlessly he swooped you up into his arms running over to the basketball court with you.

“you know i am shit at sports danny”, you whined when he set your feet on the ground.

“well you will be shit if you don’t try”, he teased and you scoffed rolling your eyes at your boyfriend.

the boys started the game again this time with you, leah and emma on the court. you were not the best at the sport just running away from the ball so that you did not have any responsibility. yet you still somehow ended up with the ball in your hands.

“come on babe you got this”, danny cheered from the other side of the court. shit you were next to the hoop, time to embarrass yourself in front of your boyfriend’s friends. brilliant. you did a small run up before shooting, closing your eyes not wanting to see your horrid effort of a shot, but instead the others started cheering for you.

“i scored”, you spoke in disbelief

“you scored baby”, daniel cheered running up to you pulling you in for a kiss, “i fucking love you y/n”, he smiled

“i love you too Daniel”

and that is the story of how you and Daniel told each other that you were in love for the first time.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

i feel like laughing in the middle of practice

do that impression you did of your dad again

i'm hearing voices like a madman

two years dating daniel

this was a one night only show in paris. it was a very special show that fans from all over the world had been fighting to get tickets for. You had been very excited for it. daniel had been at a race the day before, so with his flight timing you weren’t sure whether he was going to be able to make it. you didn’t mind you had an equally as busy schedule, so you understood him not always being able to make the countless events that structured your life.

you had been in your dressing room just fixing your make up making sure that everything was perfect for the show. your manager had knocked on the door letting you know that the stage was ready for you. you thanked her before heading out of the dressing room and soon enough you were on the stage performing your first song, cruel summer. you were halfway through the song interacting with the fans in the front row when you heard a loud cheer from the balcony. your eyes drifted upwards and there he was clear as day, daniel had made it to your show. your smile widened as you continued to sing sneaking glances over at him. in between songs you would look at him and he would be sticking his tongue out or doing heart symbols with his hands making you laugh softly before you focused back onto the songs you were singing. the crowd fucking loved it and twitter was going mad seeing footage of you and daniel being so in love.

when you were singing your last song you had glanced at the seat daniel had been sitting on only to see it empty. you didn’t think too hard about it, he was probably grabbing another beer or something. You stayed on the stage for a few minutes listening to the crowd scream for you as you did your final bow before running off the side of the stage.

“you are fucking brilliant”,aDaniel called out and you ran right into his arms, clinging onto him like a koala.

“why didn’t you tell me you could make it”, you whispered into his ear just holding onto him as if he could vanish into thin air at any given moment.

“i wanted to surprise you love”, he spoke pressing a kiss to your lips, “and I am so glad I did the look on your face was priceless”, he spoke just holding you tight. god you were so in love with him.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

'cause i feel so high school (i feel so high school)

every time i look at you

but look at you

three years dating daniel (present day)

“i’m home”, you called out into your shared new york townhouse.

“kitchen”, danny responded and you smiled making your way to the kitchen.

“danny how many times have I told you kyla can not be on the worktops”, you spoke picking up your white fluffy cat and placing her back down on the floor.

“i can’t help it, it is the eyes she gives me. she melts my heart”, he spoke making you laugh.

“you big softie”, you rolled your eyes.

“how was your day, did you get that track finished?”

you nodded, “i did, it is all done and ready for the album. i was thinking you could give it a listen”, you spoke. usually you made danny wait until the release of the album to hear the tracks just to give him the full album release experience.

“is this track different from the others, because you told me you would kill me if you caught me listening to them”, he spoke.

“well this one is about you and it is a little more personal than the others, it is about our memories”, you explained and he looked at you a big wide goofy smile on his lips.

“oh wow y/n”, he smiled his arms wrapping around your middle, “of course i will listen to it”

you decided you could not be in the room when he listened to it, that would be too much pressure. you wanted him to listen to it without having your desperate eyes on him trying to pull apart what he was thinking. so you texted him the track before retreating to the master bedroom, leaving him to listen to the song in the kitchen.

the song was only three minutes long, so why the hell had it been fifteen minutes and you had not heard from danny. you were beginning to get a little worried when the door swung open and danny looked at you with the biggest toothy grin. “i had to listen to it three times y/n, i could listen to that song forever”, he spoke as he leaped onto the bed joining you and pulling you into his chest. “it is so fucking perfect, i remember all the moments referenced in it.”, he smiled and you looked at him so happy that he liked it.

“i know you said you weren’t going to. but you need to play that at our wedding”, he spoke hand going to the ring he had put on your finger two months prior.

“i’ll think about it”

[herejusttosufferalong]

I've started and deleted this sentence several times now and don't really know how to begin. So let's just go for it and say seriously WHAT THE FUCK has been the last 6 months!? My mind is a clusterfuck rn. I love L and N but they are seriously debilitating. Like I've been see-sawing between casual nonchalance about everything saying "haha this is great ride, what's next in store?" to just confused exasperation and emotional fatigue. I don't even know these people, and yet I am so fucking invested. This has never happened to me. They are like a drug. Seriously, whatever they are selling, I will buy 10 of everything, pump it into my veins. Why is my kink now seeing them get married, have kids and L be a stay-at-home daddy while N rules the fucking world?! N, alone, has me questioning my sexuality. Then I remember L is there, and I go oh yeah him too. Them is my sexuality. It's so messy. Anyway, now to the point of this. I had some flashbacks while watching L's Loewe Vogue video today. Watching his groomer give him a lovely face and head massage instantly transported me to Ireland with the infamous forehead stroke. Honestly, imo, the biggest turning point of the whole tour. So much happened before this time, but I really do think this moment was critical. I will outline why.

Obviously, Ireland was a massive deal for N. The excitement of getting back home and meeting family and friends, the amazing reception, it was special. She talked ad nauseam about her mum meeting L and honestly all I could think was when has anyone been excited/nervous about their parents meeting just a friend? You feel that certain way because you're wanting approval, you're wanting them to feel the same way you do about that person and welcome them into the family, as it were. I've never felt that way with friends, but I had done with my boyfriend (now husband). But maybe that's just me? L didn't seem as caught up in it, like almost trying to downplay a lot of her ott excitement. I also noticed that they were less touchy feely overall compared to earlier on in the trip, which was so unhinged honestly, I didn't know what to do with myself. But then came the moment. I don't think enough people have broken this moment down. So the interviewer asks the question, that's been asked oh so many times, "was it easier or harder to do the intimacy scenes with a friend?" And N looks at L and thinks to herself, he has a hair out of place on his forehead, I'm going to reach out and stroke his forehead right in the middle of this god damn interview. Not once, but a few times, like her little hand was built to stroke that man's face. Now, tbf, she does ask permission but also tbf her hand is already at his face before he can answer a whispered, guttural, "mhmm". He leans in, we loose L for a bit there, then he comes back saying "ok" like you probably got that hair now, think we should stop now. And her going into 'mother' mode telling him to turn his head, good boy. And his little worried face when it's over. And them talking about how N just can't stop picking hairs off people on set. Mmm ok. If they were in Regency outfits, I would be expecting a mirror scene next up. But you might say to me, well shit like this has happened countless times, it's just another thing. Well, I say no, this time was different. They both knew they had crossed a line, publicly, her initiation, his reaction. Because they were strange as hell at the London premiere. He avoided her gaze. She visibly stopped herself from touching him. One occasion, I saw her reach out to his arm or back, and she looked behind him (I think where their teams were?), and immediately pulled her arm back. The first moment she was asked about people shipping Lukola she had a pre-prepared speech ready to go to explain the head stroke. It was forced. A lot of what she said seemed so rehearsed, and although, I'm certain N does think a lot about what she is going to say in interviews, usually she is very natural about it and let's it flow. That lady was stressed and making a point that L is just a 'bud'. The lady doth protest to much, methinks. She's seen everything we've typed about her and L's behaviour during the tour, so why start over-explaining and defending behaviour now? She was STRESSED. That was the overt, obvious, stop yourself type of behaviour, and yet we still saw SOME of that unconscious stuff seep through, like him searching for her hand, her looking up at him like a God, her stroking his thumb with hers while holding hands (seriously, why was that SO intimate to me?). Point being, you can't fake that stuff, the repression and release. The unconscious behaviour. They knew something was rumbling. Or at least, N did. My opinion is that they have not acted on those rumblings, because if they had, it would be OVER. Electric. Power surge. Goodnight. Pack your bags and goodbye. We might not even exist anymore, tbh. But I shall wait over here and keep eating all the crumbs I can get. (I am sooo sorry about the length of whatever this is, thank you much the same, it was so nice to vent).

OKay but like I kinda fuckin love you anon...

I had the biggest smile on my face reading this.

There is so much to unpack here. We will have to chat sometime.

LOVE x

[becauseimanicequeen]

4 Minutes Theories (Ep. 2)

In this post, I've compiled my theories from my initial reaction to the trailer and the teaser (which were kind of sweeping since the trailer and teaser didn't give me much to get super detailed about), the new ones I wrote down after watching the first episode, and some new wild-ass theories I've written in some scattered posts throughout the previous week. Just like last week, I will go through them one by one.

Let's see how wrong I am this time, and how (un)likely the other theories are. Like last time, I might develop some of my theories and add some new ones as well.

Let's go!

Pre-premiere theory: The moments Great sees ahead of time are moments that might help him redeem himself from a past mistake/transgression. (Unconfirmed)

This one is unconfirmed, but, just like in the first episode, there seems to be a pattern where the moments that are reversed seem to be reversed for Great to do them over, do better, to do "the right thing".

In this week's episode, it happened when Great walked away from the situation where Title wanted to kill Dome. He was immediately brought back, chose to escape from Title, and took Dome to the hospital.

I think Great's out-of-body experience and the "4-minutes phenomenon" (which is what Den calls it in his research) is, in a way, teaching him to be a better person and someone more involved with making choices in his life. So far, he seems to only be existing and whatever is just is (his friendship with Title is one of those parts of his life where he seems to not care).

I mean, not choosing is a choice too. But if this (the moments before the 4-minute rewind) was how his real past played out before his cardiac arrest (I still believe that was Great at the beginning of the first ep), not choosing could potentially have been the reason he ended up in that hospital bed. And now this out-of-body experience is giving him a second chance to do things differently (even though it won't change his present). It's nudging him to make an active choice rather than just run away/go with the flow. It's teaching him a lesson, perhaps.

So, I'm keeping this theory until it's proven wrong (or right).

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Korn will do some shady shit to prove to his dad that he can take over the family business. (Unconfirmed)

Last week, I revised this theory a bit (from Korn being the bad guy) after watching the first episode. It seems like he wants to prove himself to his dad. The question is how far he's willing to go to prove himself worthy. That could potentially put him on the bad guy list (which, to be fair, could include every single character because that's how the Sammon/BOC collab seems to roll, and I fucking love that).

I've got a feeling Korn's actions will destroy more than one person he cares about, and that's already begun with Tonkla. Not that Tonkla is destroyed, yet (not because of Korn, anyway). I'm sure he'll forgive Korn as soon as Korn shows up. But, the more pressure Korn puts on himself to prove himself to his dad, and the more pressure is added on him from the shady side of the family business, Tonkla will fall further down on Korn's list of priorities. And Tonkla might not be the only one.

It will definitely be interesting to see how far Korn will go to get what he wants. His situationship/relationship with Fasai might be a stepping-stone to what he wants.

(Btw, their situationship/relationship is definitely not a new thing. Their dynamic seemed established, even to the point where they were communicating without words.)

(Also, I found the dynamic between Korn and Fasai in contrast to the dynamic between Korn and Tonkla to be really interesting. I loved how Korn kneeled before Fasai (and I don't blame him). I might write more about this in a separate post because power dynamics in relationships are very fascinating to me. But, you know, it's the Olympics and my focus is elsewhere these days.)

Anyway, I'm keeping this theory.

Pre-premiere theory: Title is involved with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

Before watching the first episode, I thought Title might've been a brother or that they had a boss/minion relationship. I based this solely on the promotional posters of the characters. These two are the only ones shown to look away from the camera and their backgrounds are pretty similar. But, Title is (most likely) not Korn's brother. There's still a possibility he is (or will be) working for Korn.

After seeing more of Title in this week's episode, however, I'm getting the sense that Title might come from an influential family (considering he mentioned his dad helping Great and how he threatened Dome with his status). It also seemed like he thought himself superior to Great (which could be true, but it could also be arrogance). But, if Title is as superior as he seems to think he is, perhaps he has the upper hand?

I also got the feeling that Great doesn't really care that much about Title or their friendship (he seems to not care about most things at this point, so that might not mean anything). Their dynamic gave me "our families are close and, therefore, we have to be close too" kind of vibes (or they're cousins). Title seemed to have helped Great deal with a fight at a bar once and it seemed like Title thought that was leverage enough to get Great to get rid of Dome together with him. So there is an interesting dynamic going on here.

Either way, since I think that these two families are close, I will keep this theory that Title is involved with Korn somehow (since it doesn't seem that far-fetched), at least for now. I will probably develop this in an episode or two if it doesn't prove to be wrong before that.

Pre-premiere theory: Tonkla has a target on his back. (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for Fuaiz/Tonkla, and I still believe it's a possibility.

Considering what's going on between Korn and Tonkla and how fragile their situationship seems at this point, betrayal is on the horizon.

I know Korn was careful not to reveal too much to Tonkla when he was talking about getting a new position in his dad's business (in the first episode), probably to keep the cards close to his chest. But, Tonkla overheard Korn dropping names when he was on the phone with his dad (he mentioned Fasai and her having dinner with an uncle Warit, who might be an important person). So Tonkla has at least some information that might bite Korn in the ass and potentially put a target on Tonkla's back (either by Korn, his family, or by Fasai's family).

Also, I wonder how Korn will react when he finds out Tonkla is getting involved with a man working for the police (because Tonkla will get involved with Win, the trailer said so). That could paint an even bigger target on his back, which is why I'm definitely keeping this theory.

(Btw, I'm pretty sure Win will be in trouble as soon as Korn finds out he and Tonkla are close/getting closer. If Korn's dad has a man on the inside of the police force, which these mafia-like families usually seem to have, then they can easily get info on Win and screw with his life.)

Pre-ep. 2 theory: Tonkla will betray Korn. (Unconfirmed)

This is a feeling I got while watching the first episode last week. That was mostly based on Tonkla seeming to want more from his situationship with Korn at the same time as Korn seemed to be keeping his sugar baby hidden.

This feeling didn't lessen after watching this week's episode either considering Korn hung up on Tonkla twice (while being under pressure, to be fair) and even snapped at Tonkla one of those times. There's definitely a rift widening between them.

Additionally, there's Win, who is working for the police, and just happens to have taken an interest in Tonkla. One slip of the tongue or cry for help from Tonkla, and Korn can be royally screwed.

There's also the possibility that Tonkla will beat up/kill Korn in the future.

At the same time, it seems too obvious that he will kill Korn at this point, so it might be someone totally different.

(Btw, there's also the possibility that it's not even a person he beats the shit out of. I mean, they didn't hint that it was a person. The only hint we got was red liquid. But, I digress...)

I will have to think about this theory a bit more before I decide whom I believe Tonkla is beating the shit out of in that scene.

But, one thing is for sure, I'm definitely keeping this theory.

Pre-premiere theory: Win is battling some contrasting, opposing forces (internal and/or external). (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for JJay/Win. I solely based it on the red and green contrasting colors.

Last week, after watching the first episode, I spun off on a train of thought that Win might be working for Korn or Korn's family's business and that the battle he had to fight was his attachment/feelings for Tonkla versus his loyalty to his boss. But that was before he was introduced in the show.

Now we know a little bit about him. At least that he's working for the police. (Though, since I'm always sus about the authorities in these shows, I'm keeping my observing eyes on him, lol.)

Knowing that he works for the police, perhaps the contrasting forces he's battling are his attachment/feelings for Tonkla (which will develop, I'm sure), and his duty to uphold the law.

What if he gets involved with Tonkla, Tonkla murders someone, Win investigates the murder, finds out Tonkla is the murderer, and has trouble deciding between protecting Tonkla or arresting him? That could be interesting.

Pre-premiere theory: Den has a situationship with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

I'm keeping this theory only because I want to see Bas and Job together.

Also, I wouldn't mind if Korn is the slut of the show. So, sleeping around to get whatever this quiet man wants to get to prove himself to his dad (or whatever) is definitely approved by me.

In this household, we respect sluts. Just do it, Korn. You have my support.

Though... Poor Den if this happens. He's probably the sweetest character in the show at this point (after Tyme's grandmother, obviously).

Fuck... Now I suddenly don't want this to happen, lol.

Well, it can happen once, just once. As long as Den promises to keep his glasses on so he sees possible bullshit with a clear vision.

This is such a delulu dream of mine, though. But I'm still keeping it.

Pre-premiere theory: Dome is a mystery person operating under the radar without showing his true alliance until the end. (Scrapped)

Dome, Dome, Dome. He's such an enigma for me at this point.

At first, when I only had the trailer, teaser, and posters to go on, I thought he would be killed (since his poster has a basically empty background). At first, I thought he might be the person Great runs over in the teaser and that he would suffer memory loss, which proved to not be true.

He's still very mysterious, but I think I will scrap this theory...

Because I have another one about Dome that might be more interesting and more detailed than this sweeping one.

I'm going off of what was shown in this week's episode as well as the blank background of Mio/Dome's poster. This theory connects with another one I had while watching this week's episode, so I'll start explaining that one first before I get into who I think Dome is.

We all know that the show is playing with time, in several ways (the 4 minutes, the clocks that show 11:00 and now 11:01, etc.). Time also plays a part in my out-of-body experience theory since Great is "reliving" the past. But I also think there might be a parallel timeline that might show the past as it actually played out when Great didn't have the 4 minutes to make a different choice.

If this is true, then we're basically seeing three "timelines" (for the lack of a better term) in each episode, whereas two of them are parallel to each other (the real past and the out-of-body experience past).

(I will start calling "out-of-body experience" OOBE because I'm too lazy to write the whole thing every single time, lol.)

Since Great can't possibly change the past while he's having an OOBE (his present will still be the same), and since we as viewers probably need to know some of the things that happened in the real past that led up to the present, I feel like it would make sense if we get to see events from both timelines.

I haven't had the time to look into the details of which timeline is which (the Olympics is giving me no breaks, lol) but it might have something to do with the colors and/or the numbers (because something is going on with both of those details). I have to look into this further, though. But, I would guess that most of what we've seen of Tonkla so far is the real past.

If this is the case, I think Dome is Tonkla's brother who was killed. Title killed Dome in the real past, as he nearly did in the OOBE past if Great hadn't stopped him.

What purpose does this have if it turns out to be the case, though? I still think Great's OOBE is about gathering information of some sort. Perhaps he needs info to take down his own family business. Perhaps to find out who shot Tyme. Perhaps to stop a murder from happening in the present. Perhaps all, or none, or something else. But I still think it's about getting information more than just learning to do the right thing (which I wrote about above).

Also, doing things differently when he has his 4-minute visions (like saving Dome) might give him vital information he will need later. Perhaps he'll even get the information from the people he helps (for example Manee, whom he ran over, shared that her son committed suicide because he lost everything and was hounded for debt, which might have a connection to the illegal gambling side of Great's dad's business).

Anyway, I will look into this theory as soon as I can pull myself away from the Olympics to see if this is actually plausible and if/how I can distinguish between the timelines.

Pre-premiere theory: Fasai is the other character with a condition similar to Great’s (alternatively, it's Tyme). (Unconfirmed)

This won't happen. At least not the part about Fasai. The only reason I'm keeping this theory is because I need the show to prove to me that Fasai doesn't have precognitive abilities so I can label this as wrong and move on. That might not even happen until the show ends (if it will even be addressed). So, here we are.

I will highlight the part about Tyme, though, and turn that into a headline of its own in the post after next week's episode. Because there's definitely something going on with Tyme. Maybe it's precognition (but of another kind than Great’s), maybe it's intuition. But it’s clear that this man is drawn to Great. The way his eyes just caught Great when Great was sitting there silently in the hospital.

And whatever this sequence was in the teaser:

There's definitely something going on with Tyme other than him looking into illegal gambling and getting close to Great because of his family (both of which I'll turn into separate theories below), and I'm choosing to believe (at least for now since there's still time for this to change, lol) that he has a precognitive ability of his own (or will develop one).

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Fasai has a connection with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

Before the first episode, I thought she might be a sister (which was proven wrong by the family photo in the first episode and would be fucked up after this week's episode). As I wrote before, the dynamic of their situationship/relationship seemed established, even to the point where they communicated without words.

I could pass this theory as confirmed and be done with it, but I like to make things hard on myself. So I will take a guess at what kind of connection she has to Korn and only pass it if that's proven to be true (or half-confirm it if it turns out to be wrong).

The obvious guess would be that they're engaged (or even married), considering how Korn spoke about her to his dad on the phone in the first episode. But I don't want it to be that boring (and I definitely don't mind being wrong). So, I will guess this is a purely sexual deal, a situationship no one else knows about.

She gets pleasure (Korn seems more attentive to her pleasure than to Tonkla's, the latter seemed to be an afterthought to Korn, which we saw in the first episode) while he gets access to a higher standing. Perhaps she convinced Korn's dad to give him a new and better position in the family business? Perhaps she's the one who gives Korn direct access to her father (who was a board member or something, right?)? Perhaps she's even his sugar mama?

There's definitely an interesting power dynamic between them. I mean, she (and her dad) was surrounded by golden horse figurines and horses are, among other things, symbols of power (even the nobility).

So, yeah, I'm leaning towards a situationship rather than that they're engaged/married.

Prove me wrong, Sammon.

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Great is having an out-of-body experience. (Unconfirmed)

I previously called this theory a "dream world" after watching the trailer and teaser, but an out-of-body experience is a much better description of it.

I'm still keeping this theory because I still believe it even though it might've been odd that they "revealed" this already in the first episode. Perhaps this very obvious theory (to me, right now, at least) is exactly what Sammon wants me to focus on to take attention away from what's really going on.

Either way, I'm keeping this until proven wrong (or right).

Pre-ep. 2 theory: Great's visions of himself and Tyme are his present self's memories of their time together. (Unconfirmed)

This theory goes hand-in-hand with the previous one.

The visions Great had of him and Tyme in these first two episodes are basically his present self's memories (the person who had a cardiac arrest at the beginning of the first episode). The present Great had met, and fucked (good for him), Tyme while the Great we're following (the OOBE version that has "traveled" into the past) hadn't met Tyme until he ran into him at the hospital in the first episode.

If this proves to be true, I think we can also expect Great to have other memory flashes that might involve other characters and events.

Pre-premiere theory: Great’s (Bible’s) tattoos have something to do with the story. (Because I refuse to believe otherwise! lol) (Unconfirmed)

Just like I wrote last week: I swear I'm keeping this theory because it hasn't been confirmed (or denied), yet. That's the only reason I'm keeping this theory.

I swear I'm not keeping this theory to add this image to every post I write...

Pre-premiere theory: Great becomes Korn’s target because he can see ahead of time. (Unconfirmed)

This is highly unlikely to happen considering they're brothers who seem really close. But, I'm keeping this theory because I feel like Korn is a loose cannon. I've previously mentioned the beast I feel is currently sleeping inside Korn. Who knows what's going to happen if/when he releases it? He might turn just as ruthless as Fasai's dad seemed to be.

Will he become so ruthless in his pursuit to prove himself to his dad that he'll turn on Great? We'll have to wait and see.

Pre-ep. 2 theory: Great has a cardiac arrest/near-death experience at 11:01, which is why he sees clocks stopping at that time. (Unconfirmed)

Well, I knew the clocks would turn to 11:01 at some point (since Great mentioned constantly seeing clocks stopping at that time in the teaser).

But, like a comment @whatevenisthishellhole sent into my inbox (that I haven’t had the chance to answer yet because, you know… the Olympics), 11:00 is probably the time Great had his cardiac arrest. I think I'll have to agree with this theory since the clock on the wall as the patient had a cardiac arrest in the first episode showed 11:00, he's been shown to wake up at that time more than once, and the digital numbers on his wall showed 11:00 in this week's episode as well.

So, I agree that this is probably the time he had his cardiac arrest.

Another interesting aspect about 11:00, and about Great's malfunctioning wristwatch in particular, is that near-death experiencers can have issues with technology after their NDE (I've seen it happening with my maternal grandfather).

Maybe I'm staring myself blind on Great's NDE and OOBE, but how could I not when I'm fed clues like this? Maybe Sammon is baiting me so I miss what’s really going on, but I don’t mind. This is so much fun. But, I digress...

We also saw that the clock was counting down in this week's episode. This is where 11:01 will start to show up for Great (which he mentioned in the teaser).

The interesting thing about this, and the 4-minute theme the whole series is based on, is that a quick Google search will tell you that 3-5 minutes after the heart stops, the brain starts to get damaged due to a lack of oxygen. Since Sammon is an actual doctor, I'm pretty sure the 4-minute mark is scientifically supported. And that's what I think is happening here.

Great has 4 minutes (well, now it's only 3) on him to wake up again before his brain gets damaged. My guess is that he needs to find the information he needs/learn whatever he needs to learn/solve whatever he needs to solve before the time runs out so his heart can restart before he suffers major brain damage.

Pre-premiere theory: Someone will die/fake their death. (Unconfirmed)

Well, that was pretty obvious, wasn't it? Look how smart I am, lmfao.

Anyway...

I'm going to wait to confirm this theory until one of the major characters shows up dead. For example, if Tonkla's brother or whomever Tonkla beats the shit out of are characters we already know. I won't confirm this theory after this week's episode because I need to know who Tonkla's brother is first.

If I'm to speculate on who will get axed, I would probably say Dome, Title, and perhaps Korn.

As I mentioned before, I think Dome might be Tonkla's brother. Since Tonkla called his brother Nong, Tonkla is the older sibling. Considering he's working (and has probably already graduated from school), his younger brother may still be in school. Dome is clearly studying, so this could make sense. Therefore, my guess is that Dome is Tonkla's brother and that Dome was killed by Title in the real past.

Tonkla will get his revenge on Title. So, bye-bye asshole. (Too harsh? I think not.)

I also have a feeling that Korn will get killed. It might not be Tonkla who does the killing. What if it's Faisa and/or her dad instead? Her dad has already proven to have the means to kill people he's not pleased with, and Korn seems to be out on thin ice.

(I could add more characters like Great and Tyme as well, but I feel like I want at least some characters to escape this hellhole and continue living their lives, unlike in DFF where I wanted almost everyone to suffer. Well, if Fasai is the last one standing, I won't be mad. I would kneel before her too. But, I digress...)

Maybe I won't pass this theory as confirmed until at least two out of my options above (Dome, Title, and Korn) show up dead.

Either way, I'm keeping this theory for now.

Wild-ass pre-ep. 2 theory: Tyme will have a near-death experience and develop his own precognitive ability. (Unconfirmed)

Wouldn't it be bonkers if both Tyme and Great are having OOBEs and are trying to either help each other or happen to unintentionally get in the way of each other's goals/changes? And that's only if they have their OOBEs in the same timeline.

Anyway, I'm basing this solely on Tyme being shot in the first episode and on the scene from the teaser (which I added images of above) where Tyme seems to have his own precognitive ability.

Come on, show. Prove me wrong.

Wild-ass pre-ep. 2 theory: Great will get Tyme's heart (after Tyme is shot). (This will not happen.) (Unconfirmed)

To be clear, I don't want this to happen. This is not the Transplant I want. But it might be possible?

(Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. I have no idea if this is medically possible considering where Tyme was shot and how far he might be from a hospital (since I know a body needs to be hooked up to a ventilator to be able to keep the organs alive if organ donations are to be possible). So, excuse my lively imagination, lol.)

New theories after the 2nd episode:

Here, I'll gather the new theories I have (to make it simpler for myself to find them next week) and add one or two other ones I've come up with.

There might be a parallel timeline that shows the past as it actually played out when Great didn't have the 4 minutes to make different choices. (If I get some time over between all the Olympic sports I'm watching, I will look deeper into this theory and develop it.)

Dome is Tonkla's brother.

Tyme has a precognitive ability similar to Great’s (or might develop one).

Tyme is looking into the illegal gambling sites because his family fell victim to them. (Maybe it was just me, but didn't he look particularly moved by Manee's story about her son? Perhaps that story felt too familiar to him?).

Tyme is getting close to Great because of Great's family and their connection to the illegal gambling sites. (The way I laughed at Tyme fixing his looks and flexing his muscles in the mirror before stitching up Great's wound... I couldn't believe he played that card to get close to Great, but I fucking loved it. And then stalking Great... This man is desperately trying to find out more about Great's family, that's for sure.)

Great has 4 minutes (well, now it's 3 minutes) on him to wake up/get his heart to start beating again in the present before his brain gets damaged.

I'm still thinking about that rock and how it relates to the body they found and the rock Great used on Title but I haven't made up my mind about this yet. I feel like the parallel timelines might be at play here, so I'll have to think a bit more about that and perhaps develop it in a separate post.

Results so far:

Total theories since the trailer: 23

Confirmed theories: 1.5

Unconfirmed theories: 17.5

Wrong/scrapped theories: 4

New theories after ep 2: 6

[silverzoomies]

Ok so I've been a fan of Evan since days of future past came out. Like, the day it came out. I saw the premier or whatever it's called in theaters so DUH I LOVE QUICKSILVER SO MUCH 😞😞 anyways I know you're not taking requests but like I'm a little bit chubby (this is relevant I swear) and I CANNOT stop thinking about Peter and reader! being in a serious long term relationship, but they haven't gone all the way yet. Like, heavy make out session? Yes! Peter getting painfully hard during said make out session? Check. Make out session turns into peters desperately grinding, letting out the neediest little whines. Absolutely. Him definitely busting in his pants at readers! breathless little moans? Every. Single. Time. Never all the way though. He desperately wants to bone but he's willing to wait as long as he wants to because he thinks reader! doesn't want to, but they're just as desperate as he is but scared of what he would think because they're chubby. During one of their heated.. laundry day inducing make out sessions one thing leads to another and reader! ends up telling Peter why they haven't wanted to go all the way, and Peter proves to them he doesn't think that [;)] and talks reader! through it the whole time.

YOU DONT HAVE TO ADD THIS TO YOUR REQUESTS OR TURN IT INTO A FIC IF YOU DONT WANT TO. I just had to share this with somebody and OBVIOUSLY because you're one of my favorite writers I had to come to you with this (hi I've sent u a lot of messages 🎀) and since you're another huge quickie fan I thought you'd enjoy this :3 SORRY IF THIS WAS SUPER LONG OR IF IT DIDNT MAKE SENSE I'm mad at typing sometimes smh

helllooooooo anon, my lovely !!! i love you so much !! forgive me, i haven't written in a while !! i tried my best to make somethin' out of this because it was such a cute idea !! i hope a headcanon list will suffice !! also, please don't ever apologize for sending me long asks. i'm not kidding when i say they make my day, i love them so much !!

headcanons || peter maximoff x chubby!reader

to preface, i think we should consider some key things about our speedy goofball

peter’s a mutant. he knows exactly what it feels like to be alienated for something he has no control over

second of all, the guy’s a little bit of a weirdo

i legitimately doubt he would judge, or think less of anyone for something as superficial as looks

seriously. If he vibes with you, and you’re patient enough with him - you’re sexy as hell

it’s as simple as that, sorry. just bein' honest

so what if you’re a little thicker? he can’t get enough of you

he’s so addicted to you, in fact, you’ve got him trippin’ a little bit

like, he’s kinda goin’ cuckoo

the two of you make out a lot. so much. it’s like you’re glued to one another. any free time you have together usually consists of hanging out, and making out. not that he’s complaining

it’s definitely awesome. and it feels totally great. he does this freaky thing with his tongue that makes you squirm under him every time 

and the way you whine into each smooch - oh, man - you have him longing to get even closer

make outs eventually turn to dry humping. it’s kind of humiliating the first few times...

...since the grinding always seems to end with him busting a load in his jeans. and he whimpers too much...jeez...

but you always praise him for it, which never fails to turn him on even more

things get so heated between the two of you, escalating so often - peter finds himself confused

like…why haven’t you let him…y’know…

once or twice, he hints he wants to go down on you. and there’s no way you misread his signals. he’s pretty blunt about his needs

but you’re always so reluctant. you feign ignorance, or try to distract him with more intense kisses and pretty moans

peter’s never been a patient guy. the fact that he’s willing to wait this long for you says a lot. like, shit…he must really really really like you

but even now…fuck…he’s so worked up. he’s getting a little too bored of being limited to smooching

like, c’mon…do you think he’s ugly or something?? does he smell?? what’s the deal??

he never considered you might be self conscious. his brain doesn’t really operate like that. he’s all impulsivity and living in the moment

in the midst of making out, his hands travel where they don’t usually dare to go. he takes confident chances, fondling your tits over your clothes. but just as things heat up, you redirect his attention again

his blood almost boils. he’s way too hard for this, aching to get closer, and you’re just…gah! why’re you holdin’ yourself back? 

at last, you confess…you’ve been self conscious the whole time

ah

why didn’t you just say somethin’ before? peter tries not to laugh at how silly you sound. obviously, he’s super attracted to you. why else would he spend all his free time with you, tryna get up close and personal?

as things finally move forward, he dials up the sweetness a few notches

and damn, the wait for this was more than worth the uptick in laundry days (thanks to one too many nuts busted in his boxers)

he covers every last inch of your gorgeous body in kisses, as you let him shed you of your clothes

his masculine hands are more gentle than you expect

unclothed together, he doesn’t hesitate to get as close as he possibly can

you’re soft and cozy, and his body is like a furnace

months of pent-up desire leave him so horny, he can’t hold back anymore

through it all, he’s quick to remind you how much of a fox you are. peter teases you with his tongue in ways you never imagined possible. before rocking your world, flowing with the motion of the ocean

and by that, i mean…you bone. balls deep. hellz to the yeah

embarrassingly enough, it ends just as soon as it starts. but as usual, he recovers fast. and his endless stamina means he’s willing to go at it for hours

which he does. until you’re so exhausted, your limbs are like limp noodles. whoops...sorry about that !!

say...uh...no chance you'd wanna go another round, is there?

peter hopes you’ll be more up front with him from now on. so he spends less time dreamin', and more time goin' at it 🤍

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : UP IN THE SKY

A/N : WARNING SMUT 18+ 😜 Huge thank you to the buttercup to my blossom @harlowcomehome for the help.

You were stuck in a private plane with Jack and his team. You were joining him for a bit of media press for his new movie.

The only thing is, He’s been ignoring you all morning, so you thought you’d take actions into your own hands.

The only ones in on the prank you came up with was Neelam and your best friend. Neelam was a bit hesitant at first but she ended up agreeing thinking it can get Jack’s mind to ease a bit. He’s been nervous about the movie premiere, just as he is with every other project he’s about to drop.

“Did you end up calling that guy from the gas station?.” Neelam says loud enough so everyone could hear.

You smile, “Uh noo, but we are texting.” You look down at your phone and reply to a text your best friend had sent you.

“Ohhh? What’s he saying? I can’t believe you’re actually texting him.” Neelam says, winking and going along with the plan.

“What guy?” Jack asks, but you don’t look up to face him, nor do you answer him.

Your phone pings so you grab it and laugh, you show it to Neelam and she laughs as well. “Girl, he’s definitely feeling you. What are you going to say?”

You shrug “He said he’s from LA, so maybe I’ll invite him to the premiere.”

“Who are you texting?” Jack asks again.

You look up and see him with an annoyed look on his face, Urban is staring at you, with a surprised look on him and with his hands on his chest.

“Huh?” You feign confusion.

“Who-“ your phone pings again, and he quickly stares at it.

You look down at it and smile.

Bestie: bitch what are you doing?”

You: He can’t ignore me for long, just continue texting me.

Bestie : He’s gonna be big mad and probably bend you over.

You : Exactly what I want him to do 🥵

You can’t help but laugh.

“Y/N” Jack says a little too loud.

“Y-yeah? What’s up?” You cough out.

“Who the fuck are you texting?”

“First of all.” You glare at him. “Don’t talk to me like that.”

Your phone pings yet again but you don’t look at it right away. Jack though, he stares at it and you can feel the tension coming from him. “Are you going to get that?”

“Hmm, not right now.” You answer him looking out the window and stare at the clouds. “It’s not important.”

Your phone starts to ring now, this was definitely not part of the plan but hey, it got you to get Jack out of his head.

He’s definitely pissed now, but Urban and Copeland try to make conversation with him in hopes he’d calm down and distract him.

The moment Jack went back to his conversation with the boys, you reach for your phone and unlock it.

You show it to Neelam again “Call him back.”

You return your best friend's call, but you get up from your seat and head towards the back of the plane where the private suite area is.

“Bitch, calling me wasn’t in the plan.”

She laughs, “I know, I wanted to stir the pot.”

You’re laughing when Jack enters the room. “What is even going on right now? Are you on the phone with some guy?”

“Uh I have to go, my brother just walked in.”

He glares, “NOT HER FUCKING BROTHER, I’M HER BOYFRIEND” He stomps your way and snatches your phone from your hands “WHO THE HELL-SARA?”

You and Sara laugh. “Hey, get your head out of your ass boy and pay attention to my girl.”

Jack rolls his eyes and throws the phone on the side. “What was that all about? That wasn’t even funny, I thought you were talking to some guy.”

“I know, that’s what I was aiming at.” You smirk.

“What? Why?”

“You haven’t paid attention to me, you woke up and you didn’t even touch me.” You pout.

“Ohh? So you thought getting me jealous was going to help?” He asks you with a raise of his eyebrows.

You smile and shrug “Maybe.”

“Maybe huh?” A deep throaty chuckle came from him.

“You don’t get jealous often.” You walked toward him, making sure the cabin door was shut for your privacy. “But when you do” you whispered against his ear, “I enjoy it.”

His breath was shaky, he was trying his best to keep his composure, he wanted to tease you, draw it out as long as you two could withstand. You knew all his sensitive areas, and he knew yours so it would be challenging but worth it.

You started with his ears, knowing your breath against them sent chills across his body, the noticeable goosebumps on his biceps were a tell.

“Did it work? Was my man jealous?” You whispered against his ear.

He bit his lip lightly, crooking his neck to the side out of habit. He should’ve known better than that. You started to kiss your way down his neck.

“I don’t get jealous.” He fought the thick saliva in his mouth, he was practically salivating at your motions.

“Oh no? I guess Chris didn’t tell you what happened with the flight crew before you and Urban boarded” you said between kisses against his neck.

Jack cleared his throat trying to regain his thoughts. He couldn’t tell if you were trying to make him jealous again or not. “Flight crew?”

“Don’t worry about it baby.” You hummed as you slid your hands under his sweatshirt to take it off, he quickly removed his white tank underneath.

You started to kiss and suck on his collarbone area, a sensitive spot for him. He audibly moaned which made you immediately kiss him, worried someone would hear.

You jumped up, straddling his hips as he walked over to the private suite area.

He laid you down, as he hovered above you. He lifted your shirt up, exposing your hips. He left light kisses at first, teasing you until he inevitably left small bite marks.

“Jack, baby, that’s not fair” you whimpered.

“But my collar bones were?” He hissed. “Tell me more about this flight crew?” He pulled down your (his) sweatpants, taking them off completely and making his way to your sensitive bud.

“Baby before you-” you breathlessly gasped as he crouched underneath you, your legs on his shoulders. You felt him teasingly against you, licking strides ever so slowly.

“Continue” he commanded as he followed his own direction.

“Before you got on, Mike, you know the co-pilot?”

“Mhm”

“He was asking me what I was doing on the flight, and I told him I was here with my man and he told me-.” Then Jack started to move quicker, he was sucking your bud harder now, likely leaving a mark.

“Baby, baby, I’m-“ you breathlessly announced, your legs tightened together and you practically crushed his head underneath you.

He quickly crawled out from under you, smirking as he patted down his extremely damp beard.

“That’s not fair” you pouted.

“What did he say?” You noticed his face was flush, and you had partially forgot that you were making up an entire story to get him to fuck you with jealously in mind.

He quickly took your sweatshirt off and threw it to the side, you weren’t wearing a bra so your boobs bounced freely.

His eyes never left them, aside from your face they were his favorite physical feature.

“What baby?” You played dumb, knowing it would annoy him.

“What did he say to you y/n” he spoke sternly before he got on top of you, his mouth quickly meeting the tip of your nipple.

“He told me I should be with” You whimpered “him instead.”

“What the fuck” his saliva trailed as he pulled away from your breasts.

“And what did you say?” His eyes were full of worry, his face was flush and his nostrils were flaring, his signature telling that he was genuinely angry.

“Nothing baby, I didn’t get a chance” you pouted.

“I’m about to fuck you so good that he hears it over these god damn engines, face down, ass up. Now” he demanded.

You did as you were told, hiding the very obvious grin that was plastered across your face.

Jack lined himself up with you, both hands on your hips as he thrust into you. “This is my pussy” he angrily mumbled to himself, but you heard it and couldn’t help but stifle a giggle.

Luckily Jack was too focused to hear you, he looked down and watched as he slid in and out. His pace was slow at first until he felt you clench against him, quickening his speed indefinitely.

“Holy fuck” was all you could mutter over and over, followed by loud moans that you had no control over.

“Let this entire plane know who this pussy belongs to” he rasped, his curls sweaty against his forehead, you could feel his dick twitch inside you so you knew he was close and so were you.

You moaned his name a few times, loud and audible, and felt him release into you. His slowed pace after he came, hitting your clit perfectly, sending you over the edge too.

When the two of you finally realized what just happened and where, you couldn’t help but giggle. Jack helped you get cleaned up and you both helped dress one another. He refused to put his sweatshirt back on, after all, he was still sweaty.

“C’mere” he mumbled for you to come closer to him and kiss him. “ I’ll take care of Mike.”

“Oh baby, I have a confession” you smiled.

“Hmm?” He looked at you inquisitively.

“That never happened” you giggled, avoiding his eye contact.

“Babe!” He gasped. “You do know this entire plane just heard us orgasm right?”

“Yeah, maybe I was claiming my territory too.” You laughed and he blushed, liking that a little too much.

• • • • • • • • • • • •

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[meraki-yao]

Ok I got four asks in my inbox about the new Nick interview and I'm actually mad. I'm actually livid and exasperated because I've been getting and answering similar asks over and over again, and yet people still come to me with the same statement and the same conviction EVEN AFTER I POINTED OUT EVERY FUCKING FACT THAT CONTRADICTS IT.

Do you really need a 19-year-old to teach you reading comprehension and media literacy?

Ok, fine.

Statement One: Nick doesn't appreciate RWRB, he's brushing it aside, which is why it wasn't mentioned in the New York Times

One: Editorials don't always portray the actual thoughts or agenda of the interviewee.

Unlike a video interview or a podcast interview where we can hear the whole conversation directly from Nick with his voice, and even if there are cuts and edits we can pick it up via visual or audio continuity, in a written editorial the only thing we can rely on is the writer's words, or in other words, the writer's paraphrase or quotation of what Nick said to him. This gives much bigger room for any changes or manipulation in content because we have nothing else to reference.

It is clear that in the past three editorials, the writer or the magazine itself has deliberately demeaning and devaluing RWRB. In NY Magazine, it was only mentioned in one line and degraded to "a queer take on a common straight trope" (see the choice of word "president's daughter"), with the implication being at its core, it's a straight story/ reliant on past straight stories to be interesting; Hunger Magazine calls it fujoshi-pleasing (fujoshi: Japanese slang, denoting how a straight woman who enjoys fictional gay content is "rotten", too ruined to be married, an insult to both the audience/fans and the movie itself ); and this time New York Magazine didn't even mention RWRB, when let's be honest, it's Nick's biggest breakout role.

"Once Is Chance, Twice is Coincidence, Third Time's A Pattern" this is deliberate. I can't say what the agenda is, my guess is some extent of latent homophobia, but it's clear that this is a fucking pattern. In fact, besides the hidden agenda of devaluing RWRB, these editorials show another hidden agenda, but that's something for a later day. PM me id you want to now, I won't discuss that one on my public platform yet.

Again, there is so much more room for twisting and hiding words in a written editorial. In all the video interviews Nick did, especially in the UK, when has he ever avoided a question about RWRB? When has he ever not shown gratitude towards the project?

Two: In all video evidence that can't be manipulated, that clearly shows Nick's own thoughts which not influenced by any other party, he has made it clear that he adores RWRB.

Why else would he sign books during the M&G London premiere, going as far as to stay behind after the event just to sign books? Same with the LA M&G premiere and TIOY premiere: those were promotions for other projects, he had a valid reason to refuse to sign the RWRB books and posters, but he didn't, always signing with a big smile on his face, even playfully signing on Taylor's face. He said it himself in his Instagram post, and I quote: "The love that Henry has received has been one of the most heartwarming things to watch. It's been difficult to not talk about him. So thank you for seeing him for all he is. He was a joy to bring to life." There's your proof, directly from the man himself.

Statement Two: Nick's not interested in doing a sequel, he said he's done playing princes and he's done playing romantic leads

One: "Done playing princes" doesn't mean literally done playing princes, it means he wants to try more roles and not be stuck with only being known as the "prince" guy. (even though he's literally a prince lol)

Plus, he said that after Robert, but then Henry came along and he was attracted to Henry as a character with his scared but loving heart. He doesn't just view Henry as a prince, he views Henry as a complex, delicate person who so happens to be a prince. Him saying he's done playing princes means in the future, he doesn't really want another royal on his filmography, but this doesn't mean he doesn't want to continue Henry's story. With the given context, namely asking him about future projects he wants to take up, "he's done playing princes" and "he doesn't want to play Henry anymore" are not mutually inclusive.

Two: "Done playing romantic leads" means he wants to try new things and take up new projects that aren't romance films.

This doesn't include the continuation of already established characters i.e. sequels, this just means if he were to take up brand new projects, he wants to try something else. Sequels are inherently different from new projects because again, sequels are based on already established characters.

Three: He said several times ON VIDEO that he'd be in for a sequel

In this one, when asked if he'd be up for a sequel, he said, and I quote "Look, I think with any opportunity of doing a sequel, I think, you know, the script has to be right. But obviously, it was so lovely to see how many people it touched and having that resonance is incredibly important to me, so, yeah. Of course."

In this one, when asked if they have had conservation on a potential sequel, he said, and again I quote: "Yeah, I mean definitely had conversations. I think we're all on the same page in the sense that, you know, the script needs to be right, and sort of all the different components need to be right because we made something that has such a positive effect and I think the last thing you'd wanna do is ruin that or take that in a way, so, you know, the conversations are definitely being had."

And there are more videos from red carpet interviews that I can't be bothered to find right now but he says more or less the same thing.

(look I even transcribed it)

Not only is he on board with a sequel, he's also being careful about it to make sure once they do get to making it, it's something good. He's on board, and he values it. And again, that's directly from him.

We have a phrase in Chinese: 斷章取義, meaning "breaking off a small part of an article and deriving the meaning from that single part" That's what so many of you, in particular, the people who come to my inbox with the sentiments of the above-mentioned statement are doing. Please, use critical thinking and look at the whole picture. Stop making judgments from the surface of one source.

Tagging my friends @alittlefrenchtree and @myteavsricochet because it looks like they've been getting the same things I got

[findingnemosworld]

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 - 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐬𝐳𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐳𝐥𝐚𝐢

• 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬.

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧, 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫.

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐬.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞, 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲.

He'd returned home from the celebration, Liverpool had won the Premier League which had completed their quadruple dream - and he couldn't have been more elated, this was everything he could have asked for and then some, his phone had been buzzing with texts messages from old friends and family members — yet despite all of that, despite the elation coursing through his veins, he never forgot her.

Even more so, upon his phone vibrating to remind him that on this very day — both of them had went on their very first date following a lifetime of denial due to their close knit friendship.

The pair were at the local carnival enjoying the festive atmosphere when he decided to try and win her the teddy bear.

__

" Domi! " She giggles at his failed attempt at throwing the ball at the target. " That’s not how you do it "

He shot her a glare, " Then you try! " he grumbles.

She grabs the ball, aligning her aim to throw the ball until it perfectly hit the target, he looks at her in bewilderment. " How did you do it? "

A coy smile adorns her lips, " I had some practice "

__

A ponderous sigh escapes his lips, it’d been two years since their split; as much as he tried to move forward — pretend as though his ache has lessened, just the mere the thought of her was enough to send him on a rollercoaster ride of arduously moving emotions.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone vibrating, he averts his gaze downwards to see the screen flashing with a name, her name — she was calling him.

He’s quick to press the ‘answer’ button, placing the device on his ear. " Hello " he says with a shaky voice.

" Domi " Her soft familiar voice envelops him like a blanket on a cold night.

" Baba " He breathes out with a soft smile. " I can’t believe you called "

She giggles and he could have sworn his heart nearly escaped his rib cage — " How can I not call Domi? you’re a Premier League champion, I’m so proud of you "

His heart thuds rapidly at the revelation that she might have seen the match. " You … you uh .. you watched the match? " he whispers as he stood near the window, his gaze shifting towards the clear sky.

" Of course I did " She responds with a soft tone. " I couldn’t miss it for the world … I’ve seen every match you participated in — I was even " she paused before murmuring softly. " I was in the stadium when you won the Europa League "

His eyes widen, his mind drawing back to the very day, Liverpool had won the Europa League trophy. " You were there? why didn’t you …? " the question remains incomplete as he hoped she’d understood him.

A soft sigh escapes her lips as she says, " I was scared, figured you’d forgotten about me "

He chuckles softly, a hint of dejection lurking underneath. " Baba, of all my accolades in football … none of that truly mattered, when I had lost you in the process "

She’s quick to respond, " Domi, it wasn’t your fault … you had no choice "

He groans, " You’re always so fucking forgiving, if I hadn’t listened to my father " he sighs softly.

" Domi " She interjects with a soft and a deep tone. " I know that your father’s intervention wasn’t at all … the best, but hey, you got to do what you love, break free from his hold "

Tears brim in the corners of his eyes, dejection surfacing through his words as he says, " But at what cost? I lost you "

" Domi, you never lost me "

That one simple phrase was enough to silence the voices in his mind for now, " But you’re still in Paris, and I’m here "

" I have about two years left of my studies and you’re thriving in Liverpool, the holidays are coming up " She says with a soft tone full of hope. " We can meet again "

He smiles softly, watching as the stars twinkle up in the sky. " Promise not to laugh if I start crying? "

She giggles, " I can’t make any promises "

A wave of comfortable silence falls between them before he breaks it by saying, " Baba? "

" Hm? " She hums softly.

" I love you to the moon, never forget " He murmurs an all too familiar phrase.

" And I love you … see you soon " She says.

" See you soon " He says.

The moment he ends the call, a few stray tears escape, rolling down his cheeks as he looks at the stars in the sky — his mind drawing back yet another memory, a joyful memory.

__

She runs up to him, an excited expression decorating her features — " Guess what? "

He grins in amusement, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. " What? "

" I submitted my drawing to the contest and they accepted it it — I’m gonna participate " She squealed in pure elation.

He tugs her close for a warm embrace, pressing soft pecks on her forehead. " I’m so proud of you baba " he whispers.

She looks up to meet his soft gaze, full of pride and unconditional love. " I wouldn’t have done it without your love Domi, thank you "

He beams in response, chuckling when she buried her face in his chest. " I love you baba, never forget "

__

And they never forgot their love.

[moderndaylestat]

I MET SAM!!! AGAIN!!!

Yesterday was a fever dream. I didn’t think I’d get to see him let alone talk to him but it happened! Here’s the whole story:

@suikamelon6 found some info saying the base camp for the Newsreader filming has been set up. I decided to go check it out after work since my office isn’t very far away. It was raining all day and I had no clue if Sam was even filming that day but I decided to take the chance anyway. And I’m SO glad I did!! turns out Sam was filming and I found out the actual filming location (it was a completely different place from the base camp). I made my way there.

They were mainly filming inside a venue so I couldn’t see anything, but there was going to be an outdoor scene too so I stuck around. I was there for around 15mins and then a crew member came over to tell me that Sam and Anna would be arriving soon. Then a car pulled up right in front of where i was standing on the street and Sam was inside!!!!! Thank god I was given a heads up beforehand because otherwise l would’ve had a complete meltdown if Sam in full costume just got out of a car right in front of me 😭

I said hi and Sam looked at me like he recognised me and was like “you were at the Newsreader premiere!” HE RECOGNISES ME!!!! he knows who i am!!!! This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me!!! Anyways, I asked for a photo and he said yes as long as I don’t post it until the season is out. We took some selfies and i’m short so he bent down to fit in the photo 😂😂 I’m sorry that I can’t share the pics yet because OH MY GOD HE LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD!! He was in full costume, Dale wig and all. He was ✨glowing✨ !!!

He then filmed inside the venue and in the meantime i met up with Suika and another friend as we waited for the outdoor shoot. It was a short scene of just Sam, it was done in 4-5 takes and we saw the whole thing! He was so focused during the entire shoot, it was evident that he puts a lot of thought, effort and concentration into his acting.

Afterwards we talked to Sam some more. He’s so down to earth and easy to talk to! For someone who’s supposedly introverted he’s actually very chatty, he jokes around and makes you feel at ease. It’s like talking to a good friend! I asked him if he’s going to the Newsreader event on the Gold Coast and he said he’s not sure yet and then he was like “wait, are you going?” Gold Coast is like a 2hr flight away from Melbourne, it’s kinda far! I said “I’ll go if you go” and he was like “haha you can just see me here”. He’s so right, i’d much rather not spend all that money on flights and accommodation if I can just keep seeing him in my hometown.

Anyways ahhhh Sam is so lovely and engaging in conversation! And so humble and hardworking too! He grabbed food immediately after he stopped filming, he probably didn’t get to eat between takes. i was like “you must be exhausted” and he just shrugged and smiled. What a sweetheart!!!!!

I had such a wonderful experience, Sam was amazing and all crew members were incredibly lovely, telling us where to go and what was happening. I had the time of my life!! Forever grateful to my crazy good luck about being at the right place at the right time. Sadly I didn’t take any pics of the set, I didn’t want to get in trouble. Maybe next time they film in public (IF there is a next time!!) i will have more pics and things to share with you! 🥰

[the-girl-in-the-high-castle]

The absurdity and stupidity of all shitflix cancelations lies in one simple question: How many of those canceled shows have you actually heard of before they got canceled?

- Warrior Nun - never heard of it until the moment I started seeing its fans spamming every shitflix post. And that was its second season. It had two seasons, for fucks sake, and most of us have never heard of it. You wanna know whose fault that is? Let me give you a hint. No, it's not the viewing numbers.

- First Kill (or whatever its name is) - Never heard of it until, once again, I saw people complaining about the cancelation under shitflix posts. Once again, guess whose fault that is.

- Santa Clarita Diet - Never heard of it. Didn't even know it was canceled until it made it to the list of pissed of people counting how many of them they axed. Whose fault is that?

- Inside Job - Yeah, never heard of it until it got canceled. Also, canceled after they renewed it. Shitflix: guess we changed our minds.

- Archive 81 - Heard of it when the cancelation was announced.

- The OA - Remember just hearing about it through the fog, even though it came out years ago.

- Sense 8 - know about it only thanks to fans' videos and fanart. I don't remember shitflix ever mentioning it.

- Lockwood & Co - I know about it thanks to fans spamming posts asking for renewal news.

And the list goes on with, I assume, shows I have never heard of.

I've never seen any of these shows, but my open wound is 1899 that I believe got treated the dirtiest of them all.

I have heard of it two years before the premiere, thanks to a 50 seconds long teaser that got me patiently waiting for years because it was my cup of tea. It came from the people who proved themselves before by creating a critically acclaimed show that you can find on a top 10 list of greatest shows of all time. Those people have spent years developing a new filming technique for shitflix. What a way to say thank you.

8 out of 10 people around me have seen 1899. Those people haven't even seen GoT or LotR for fucks sake, the most famous show and movie ever, but they have seen 1899. But not because shitflix promoted it, but because people did.

There was zero promotion, zero cast interviews, zero mentions after the release. It was still watched and talked about by so many people. It has more viewing hours than their hit shows running for 3+ seasons put together. It's a show you can't just binge and forget, you have to actually turn your fucking brain on. It was released in the most busy time of the year, during the damn World Cup and winter holidays. It was still number one for weeks. It was given less than 30 days. They decided to cancel it before it even premiered. They deleted the trailer with 10+ million views from YT.

The same goes with other shows. I have seen zero cast interviews, zero promotion or mentions by their own platform and they still have loyal fan bases that didn't stop talking about them.

But then you have dogshit shows like the Night agent that is getting hyped by shtflix every single fucking day. Fake numbers, pumped up to get people to watch a generic, a hundred times seen before, piece of crap. It got more hype than fucking GoT, and yet I know zero people who have actually watched it. Yep, there is no one I know, in real life or online, that has actually watched this show. So you figure it out.

People who have watched the shows I've mentioned probably have the statistics for them, and have probably seen the viewing hours being blamed for it, which was bullshit.

The latest nail in the coffin was Lockwood & Co. They kept fans waiting for months, and then they announced the cancelation during Eurovision so that fans wouldn't be able to go viral about it because everyone talked about fucking Eurovision.

Shitflix has canceled 26 sci-fi/fantasy shows in the last 3 years. 26! Do you all remember when we couldn't even name 26 shows of all genres put together, let alone watch them?

What all these shows had in common is that they were original and more or less unique and creative, not something you can find at least 6 copies of in either streaming or network TV.

It's like they created all these shows just so they can cancel them, because they are doing their best to actually burn every trace they ever existed.

Shitflix is killing creativity in every form, but in the end, that will be their undoing.