#they say the weirdest most unhinged shit

[freckledsweetpea]

idk maybe I am a lesbian. who knows? not me. men are very hot and are good to look at but I wouldn't date one.

[ugh-yoongi]

Hullo Hullo! Congrats on 1k!

I think your link to your request guidelines is broken 🤔 or it's my Tumblr app and, honestly, even money either way 🤦🏻‍♀️😅

ANYWAY, my request is 1000 words of the most self-indulgent filthy shit you've been wanting to write but haven't got round to or haven't felt like it or haven't had the opportunity to.

Completely your choice as to pairing (mxm is also fine!). 😘

whewwwwwwwwww boy, thanks for this. i am feeling completely normal and not at all unhinged......

anyway i miss hobi no one perceive me please

wanna show you how

pairing: jungkook x f. reader genre: porn with(out?) plot; this is just 1k of smut idk warnings: hoseok is a voyeur and tells jungkook what to do, oral sex (f. receiving), protected vaginal sex, multiple orgasms. unedited. rating: explicit. minors dni. wordcount: 1.1k

Jungkook doesn’t remember how he got here. Not really.

He remembers meeting up with his friends for barbecue. Remembers moving to some hole-in-the-wall bar in Sinchon. Remembers Yoongi grumbling as he got tasked with ordering everyone’s drinks. Remembers the whisky being too strong, burning as it went down; remembers his hyung smirking out of the side of his mouth at the way he coughed.

Namjoon and Hoseok had been talking about something Jungkook only heard snippets of. Namjoon had gone on a date the night before, spent the night at her place. Had a great time, too, judging by the way he can’t stop smiling, fisting his hands in the denim of his jeans. Seokjin had made a spectacle of it, had hooped and hollered and ignored the annoyed glances sent his way, and then Hoseok had asked—

“Did you try that thing I told you about?”

—and Jungkook’s entire world had narrowed into a pinhole. Because he’d foolishly asked what thing, hyung, and Hoseok and Namjoon had shared a look that hadn’t felt good. Made Jungkook feel like some stupid kid, like he didn’t know anything.

There had been an argument. Nothing serious, more bashful and exasperated than anything, just Jungkook bugging his hyungs again, and Namjoon’s cheeks were aflame the entire time. And maybe there was something to be said about the whisky Yoongi had chosen, because Hoseok had a lot to say, too. Had looked Jungkook right in the eye, his own glassy and warm with affection and a little mischief, and asked, “How do you make her come, Jungkookie?”

You. Hoseok had been asking about you, about how Jungkook makes you come.

It shouldn’t have affected him. Jungkook should’ve said, “Well enough, hyung,” and laughed it off. Chalked it up to alcohol and being twenty-something-year-olds. But Jungkook hadn’t said, well enough, hyung. He didn’t say anything at all. He’d sat there, paralyzed, not saying a thing, until Namjoon returned to earth and said, “Yeah, I tried it, Hob-ah.”

Jungkook remembers all of that.

What he doesn’t remember is how it got to this point. He remembers lingering on it. Remembers how do you make her come, Jungkookie? playing over and over in his mind every time he shut his eyes. Remembers telling you about it a few days later and trying to laugh it off. “Hobi-hyung said the weirdest thing to me the other night,” he’d said, and his Hobi-hyung says a lot of weird things, so you’d just raised your eyebrows and said, “Oh, really?”

And now you’re here, splayed out beneath him, naked and clutching at him as he trails hot, open-mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, your collar bones, the space between your breasts. Jungkook groans when you raise your hips, roll them against him; grabs your thigh and anchors it over his own hip. Every sound you make is breathy and staccato, verging on a whine, and it drives Jungkook crazy. Has him pressing you further into the mattress, grinding his cock against your core, rutting rutting rutting—

Almost makes him forget that Hoseok’s watching.

“Is that what your hyung said to do, Jungkookie?”

It isn’t. Jungkook’s hyung had told him to take it slow, draw it out, make you beg. Jungkook’s hyung said you had to come at least once before Jungkook was allowed to fuck you. Jungkook’s hyung had said, that’s it, like that, and, you’re doing so well, do everything well, don’t you?

So Jungkook pauses, shakes his head minutely. Grits his teeth a little, too, because maybe he listens well, but he doesn’t always want to. Wants to know what kind of self-restraint his hyung would have if he was in Jungkook’s place; if he had you writhing beneath him, if he could trail his fingertips over your soft skin, feel your warmth; if your scent was making him dizzy, your taste.

“Keep going.”

So Jungkook does.

Keeps kissing down your body. Keeps you pressed to the bed, moves your hand from the sheets to tangle in his hair instead. Situates himself between your legs and goes down on you the way he knows you like it, and even if it isn’t what Hoseok told him to do, at least he’s getting a fucking show. At least he’ll be able to hear how good Jungkook makes you feel. He’ll be able to see the way you roll your hips against his mouth, the way you moan, loud and unabashed, when Jungkook suctions his lips around your clit and refuses to let up until tears well in the corners of your eyes.

Hoseok sees the way you come.

Jungkook dares a look as he catches his breath. Wants his hyung to see the flush on his cheeks, the way his mouth glistens with your slick. Wants to say, that’s how I make her come, hyung, with the tang of you fresh on his breath, but the words die on his tongue. Hoseok’s wearing a flush of his own, pupils blown wide, breath unsteady. Can’t take his eyes off of you.

And Jungkook’s got a nasty jealous streak, but it never comes. Instead, he watches the way Hoseok watches you and all he feels is pride, because Hoseok can’t take his eyes off of you but he’ll never touch you the way Jungkook does, never taste you. Hoseok has seen the way you come, but he’ll never know how it feels to be the one to turn you into a trembling, moaning mess.

Jungkook’s still looking when he slips on a condom and pushes inside of you, and he might miss it but Hoseok doesn’t: sees the way your mouth drops open at the stretch, the overwhelming feeling of being full. He rolls his hips, gives you no time to adjust, just the way you like, and smirks at the way you claw at his back. Wants to be a little shitty, wants to ask if he’s doing a good enough job, if Hoseok thinks you’re enjoying it.

But he’d rather show than tell.

He moves his hand to your cunt, rubs at your clit. Laughs at the way you sob, leans down to whisper some filth that’s only for you to hear. Says, “Are you gonna come, baby? I think Hobi-hyung wants to see you come, doesn’t think I fuck you right, but I do, don’t I? I fuck you so fucking well,” and groans when everything gets white-hot and unbearably tight.

Jungkook doesn’t let up. Pulls out only to turn you onto your stomach before he’s pushing into you again. “That’s how I make her come, hyung,” he finally says, tone clipped.

For once, Hoseok has nothing to say.

[creepymutelilbugger]

people say the weirdest most unhinged shit about Jeremy Elbertson like no hearing his voice will not instantly induce insanity, no he doesn't live in a padded room, no he doesn't literally murder people, no he doesn't ""actually exist"",

[saturniidemiboy]

My headcanons for Roach:

-Owns a hot pink flip phone as his one and only phone

-Eats weird shit (drinks out of puddles, eats watermelon and honey, the leaves of a strawberry, etc)

-Knows BSL and some of other sign languages

-Says the most unhinged and WEIRDEST shit

-Loves bugs (it's his main obsession)

-ADHD and/or Autism

-Listens to trashy white girl music or random shit he finds (funky town is a daily song)

-Trans, demiboy, asexual

-Ginger with curly hair and brown/dark eyes

-Absolute menace, cannot be taken anywhere without some sort of supervisor

-Got his callsign either by freaking out when seeing a roach, or somehow not dying over and over again (I refuse to agree he's dead)

(This is my art style btw)

[emeritus-fuckers]

Mary Goore headcanons

The biggest freak in Repugnant. And that says a lot.

Mary's non-binary, uses they/them pronouns.

Mary's got a wide gallery of kinks that most would consider taboo.

Starting with piss kink and ending with cannibalism type of kinky.

They're willing to try pretty much everything once and while they might not fully respect someone's private space at first, they're actually pretty chill once someone gets to know them.

They're still obviously gonna be their fucked-up self, though.

Befriending Mary requires becoming comfortable with their touchy-feely nature.

They're the type of person to make out with their mates.

Repugnant members are all very touchy with each other. Kissing, slapping each other's asses, making out, grabbing each other's crotches... hell, they fuck each other all the time.

And Mary is usually the one getting the most attention because they're the scrawniest.

They also use slurs and insults but in a playful, affectionate way. So to get close to Mary, one must get used to all that.

Back to the kinks, though, Mary's big three kinks are piss, cannibalism and (theoretically, since they're undead and essentially a walking corpse) consentual necrophilia.

Mary is dead. They have taken part in a ritual a few years after Repugnant became a thing, which essnentially turned them into a fully aware undead corpse.

They don't even rot really. They're just cold to the touch and have to breath manually. They do have a heartbeat and a pulse, though. For some reason. They can also still blush, but their blood is incredibly dark, so it looks their cheeks are literally turning black.

They get turned on by the weirdest shit. Threaten to beat them up? Into that. Call them a perv? Into that as well.

If you befriend Mary, you'll most definitely end up hooking up with them or joining in on their shenaningans.

And you'll probably end up getting close to the other bandmates.

Doesn't mind if you hook up with any of them, by the way. They hook up with their bandmates too, after all.

Hell, these folks have orgies together. They'll probably invite you to join them.

Mary's not legally allowed in graveyards. Which doesn't really matter to them because it's their favorite place.

They've been a part of multiple orgies in a mausoleum.

The also have a life-time ban from Hot Topic after masturbating in th changing room simply because they said "eh, why not?"

Pissed their pants on the tour bus once because they got fucking wasted. DD, equally wasted, sucked their dick in consolation. No clean-up. Mary came way quicker than they normally do. DD refuses to let that story go.

Mary is sort of oblivious to boundaries. They are okay with pretty much everything and just... assumes their partner is too. The partner has to be the one to bring it up. After being told the boundaries, Mary absolutely respects them. They maybe fucked up, but not that fucked up.

They're also pretty perceptive, but they also never push. If you wanna talk about your emotions, you gotta tell them.

Mary has an OnlyFans. It's the source of half of Repugnant's budget. The other half is DD's financial scams and pyramids.

Their upper right fang is broken. A result of a fist-fight.

They're insecure about their teeth because many people in their childhood told them their smile was making everyone uncomfortable.

They have pretty poor personal hygiene in general. They literally have to be forced to bathe or shower. Usually by DD who is just completely done with their bullshit.

Their favorite movie is the Human Centipede. Once made a comment about how this is what rimming parties would look like if people weren't cowards.

Unhinged switch.

Pretty aggressive while topping. Bites a lot. Might bite a bit of their partner off if they're allowed to. A sadist.

Complete masochist when bottoming. Their partner could literally torture them and they'd love every second of it.

You could piss in their mouth and they'd be delighted. Much prefers to drink piss instead of pissing into other people's mouths, but they'll do that, too, if asked.

Has a fantasy of people riding them while they pretend to be dead.

Absolutely no shame when you tell them the most degenerate shit ever. Gets all flustred when called cute. It's hilarious.

I love Mary and I could talk about them for hours, so I'll stop here before it becomes too much.

~

Written by Jez.

Taglist: @thermodynamic-comedian @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday

[superectojazzmage]

Sure it’s been said, but the real bread and butter of SpyXFamily imo is how Yor and Loid have polar opposite but equally batshit stupid and insane approaches to the whole “spies pretending to be a normal family” thing that lead to the same result of them functionally becoming their cover identities.

Loid has some weird denial complex from his life as a spy where he views everything he does as part of some kind of 5D mental chess game that he’s playing against some nebulous threat and approaches his cover identity accordingly, effectively being the “haha I was only pretending to be retarded” meme but with being a husband and father instead of internet trolling. Every interaction he has with his wife and daughter is accompanied by a machiavellian internal monologue about how this is all an elaborate scheme to further the mission. He could be taking Anya out for ice cream and be internally thinking “yes, now that I’ve given my daughter a delicious frozen treat, Westalis shall achieve ultimate victory!!!”. He could be dicking down Yor and he’d spend the entire time thinking about how his wife’s orgasm will bring about the fall of Ostania. He is so obsessed with being a fake husband that when he becomes a real husband, he just smirks and goes “all according to keikaku” while taking his family out to the zoo or helping Anya with her homework. And when the slightest problem for his family arises — like thinking Yor is mad at him or that somebody is being mean to Anya — he totally fucking melts down about it in a way that makes no sense for a detached spy, but he still goes through the effort of trying to frame his freak out as a problem for the mission; he’s not having a panic attack about his wife being mad at him because he loves her, he swears, he’s just worried about the mission!

And meanwhile Yor is just… all fucking in. She’s a method actor to the most unhinged extreme imaginable. She heard “you have to pretend to be a housewife to avoid drawing suspicion” and decided that meant she had to literally become a housewife. She’s the Daniel Day-Lewis of assassins. She throws her whole body and soul into every single thing she does, completely immerses herself in the “role” to the point that it isn’t a role anymore, it’s just her life. Within seconds of meeting Anya she’s like “guess I’m a mom now!!!!”, within seconds of Loid proposing she’s like “yep I love my husband!!!!”. She still has all her assassin instincts and training, but they’re all warped to fit her new life as a milf because that’s what she is now; she’ll brutalize or kill anybody who even looks at her family the wrong way, she approaches every situation from the perspective of “how can I eliminate this problem?”. And like any good method actor, she obsesses over whether her behavior is “correct” to the role. She is determined to be indistinguishable from a normal housewife to a point that you wonder how she has time to be an assassin anymore when all she seems to really care about is trying to win at being Totally Normal and/or being a good wife and mother.

And then in the middle of it all, you’ve got telepathic Anya just listening in on it and doing or saying the weirdest shit imaginable because she’s a kid and has no comprehension of why this situation is completely bizarre, this is just her mom and dad being cool spies.

It’s S-Tier stuff.

[bugmomwrites]

29 Sugawara Headcanons but they gradually get more unhinged

My fave turns 29 today (it's still technically the 13th here) and this is what I'm doing with my time instead of yardwork or algebra homework. Happy birthday to the OG setter and king of chaos himself. There are some time-skip spoilers in here, references to drinking, smoking, and generally just getting into trouble. Hope you guys like it.

Floating around on the internet somewhere is a video of him at Tanaka and Kiyoko's wedding, dancing on a table and knocking the intricate centerpiece over. Nishinoya, the best man, is behind the camera laughing as his upperclassman nearly goes tumbling down a couple times over the blaring music.

He gets a pet and either names it after some random object like “cement mixer” or “armpit” or he gives it a human name like “Gregory”. Complains about his day to them like they're a little person like "That bitch Patrice stole my parking spot this morning...I know right?!"

Has one of those “women want me fish fear me” caps, and wears it proudly.

Has used Asahi to be able to take part in the “kids eat free” promotions at local chain restaurants. Is Sugawara bummed that most of his underclassmen are taller than him? Sure. Does it mean he gets free food when his close friend looks like a grown ass man with a mortgage? Absolutely.

Probably drives a little white mom van hybrid (maybe a Subaru or Prius). It has a bumper sticker that says “HONK IF YOU LOVE MILFS”

Plays with his kids at recess, but when someone starts to get cocky during Four Square or some other game, that Setter Sleeper Agent TM comes out and he has no issue spiking the rubber ball towards the little shit in question to knock them down a few pegs.

Will make the weirdest food combos, and get offended if you question him. What do you MEAN marshmallow fluff doesn’t go with pickles and shredded cheese??? Shame on you.

Some people say they “listen to all kinds of music”, but very few actually mean it. Sugawara is one of those people. You will hear Nikki Minaj, the monsters inc theme, commercial jingles from the 90’s-2000’s, all back to back. It’s enough to give anyone whiplash, and that’s exactly what he’s going for.

Suga didn’t always love extra spicy food, at least not as much as he does now. It started as a way to protect his leftovers from a hungry Daichi. Armed with nothing but a bottle of hot sauce, he eventually found the sweet spot of too spicy for his captain, but not so spicy that it wasn’t enjoyable.

After Kageyama arrived, demoting him, Sugawara found little moments of joy in shoplifting from Ukai’s store. Made awkward eye contact with Nishinoya as he was shoveling spicy chips into his school bag, worried about being caught red handed until his junior gleefully opened his jacket to reveal an unholy amount of popsicles lining the inside. A mutual understanding was made that day. Gave a few to Kageyama as an olive branch, but when Ukai recognized the packaging as the specific snack that keeps disappearing without payment, the poor guy is framed right then and there.

Sneaks into hotels and gyms to use amenities. Who cares if the pool says members only, a little confidence goes a long way.

Went to use the tennis courts, and the back of his shorts say “public enemy number one” in sparkly lettering. Some middle aged guy tried to argue with him and instead of hearing him out, he wordlessly hit the ball into his groin, with perfect aim.

Road rage but it comes out in the form of speeding and cutting people off instead of screaming out the window. But you can definitely hear him grumbling curses now and then.

Not too afraid of getting pulled over, most of the time it’s Daichi anyway. And even when it’s not, he calls him up and begs him to tell his coworker to “reconsider”.

Puts Bill Nye on the projector every Friday for his class so he can sleep at his desk, but sometimes does Kahoot! when he has more energy. Encourages the kids to come up with wild names, giving out prizes not just for highest score, but wildest shit on the board. May or may not be where he got inspiration for his cat's name.

Got on the good side of a lot of PTA moms, sometimes they have him over for dinner. Gets a bit silly after 2-3 glasses of wine though. Don't give him the nuclear codes.

Because lips are looser on nights like those, he has all the dirt on everyone. Not above blackmail if push ever comes to shove. Sure, he won't tell your husband about that affair you mentioned to the ladies over dinner- if you give him your famous cheesecake recipe, that is.

I like to think he orchestrated a fight club in his earlier years and that’s how he’s able to punch so hard.

His Twitter acc is apeshit, likes to make a game out of how quickly he can get famous people to block him. Collects them like Pokémon cards and laughs about it to his friends. Has a "hit list" except it's just which celebrity he wants to piss off next.

Also posted a video of him taking a fat bong rip, and tagged Daichi (a literal cop) before setting his phone to do not disturb.

In high school after having to play against what was probably the most unsportsmanlike team they've encountered, it was Suga’s idea to prank them with a few of his teammates. They got caught about 20 minutes in when Daichi went looking for Hinata and caught him red handed with his arms full of eggs, toilet paper rolls, and the guiltiest look on his face.

You know that cross eyed thing Pennywise from the movie It does, that turned out to not be cgi but a very real trick actor Bill Skarsgård pulled on set? Sugawara can do that too, scared the shit out of his teammates and other schools with it. Even their coach is unsettled.

The 3rd years went to a haunted house at one point after graduation, and then stopped for lunch somewhere. Daichi left to go get a couple beers for everyone, and, because the whole thing was Suga’s idea, tried to sneak up behind him when he came back. Instead of scream though, he clocked him in the face out of reflex, making Daichi drop the tray. Asahi is frantically trying to apologize to the waitress through tears for the mess of beer, blood and glass, Daichi is holding a bloody nose, and Sugawara is going red from trying not to laugh. They get their pictures taken and end up on a board that says DO NOT SERVE.

Vodka in coffee mugs have gotten him through the day on more than one occasion.

Puts his mugshot on Christmas cards, has it hung up in his house in a nice frame. Gifted one to all his friends that year. Many were horrified, some laughed, and one of them told him to hang tight while they got his gift- a mugshot of their own as well (it was probably Nishinoya).

Since his birthday is in June, when he was a kid his family was able to celebrate outside in the beautiful weather. His 15th fell on a Saturday, so they were able to have a much bigger celebration. Unfortunately, that year his older cousin brought her new boyfriend to the family barbecue, and he did NOT pass the vibe check. Maybe it was the speedo, or the douche-y attitude, but one minute Suga was grabbing the hot metal spatula off the grill, and the next thing the guy knew, there was a nasty burn mark branded onto his left ass cheek.

Skipped practice one day to look after his sick little brother, but instead of making soup and taking temperatures, they spent the whole evening playing Minecraft. Everyone is wondering where the hell their setter is, as the two of them lose track of time between building castles and fighting the wonder dragon. It wasn’t until it got dark outside and their mom came home before he realized he forgot to text the group chat. 

When it’s time for the DARE program at his school, he’s thrilled to see Daichi again, and constantly tries to distract him as he and a few other cops are trying to explain the dangers of drugs. He pretends to nod along and take everything in, like he doesn’t smoke pot every other week.

Was asked to babysit his nephew last minute, much to the relief of his brother. This would be very short lived though- a few hours later, he’s on tiktok and fretted with a clip of his older brother yeeting a slice of Kraft cheese at his son’s face. 

[angsty-prompt-hole]

OC in 15

Tagged by @ceph-the-ghost-writer

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well!

I'm leaving this as an open tag.

I'm gonna do this for my OC Henny because he says a lot of unhinged things and he also has the most stuff I've written for him.

"Uh...that's complicated. You know how Payton can't stay dead? Well, it's actually nothing like that now that I think about it, but point is they're kinda in the middle. Perpetually. Forever."

"...Would it be disrespectful to say I lived bitches? Kinda feel like it would be."

"...Fine. Fine! Spooky scary tunnels it is. Great."

"No wonder so many of y'all fuckin' die here. You fuckin' lunatics are just askin' for it. I'll never understand humans."

"I'm not supposed to help anyone in this hellhole, but considerin' the excessively gruesome threats from Payton, guess what I'm doin'."

"Humans create the weirdest shit I swear. Those Monster Energy coffees are very chuggable, but everyone said I'd be bouncin' off the walls and I feel nothin'. Your coffee drinks are broken."

"Swear to gods if I have to save one more tourist from going into the mines I'm gonna lose it. Don't follow weird whispers into the mines, kids."

"Apparently I actually have to report what's goin' on in this hellhole. Not sure why, considerin' there's only like one person in this entire fuckin' town who has no idea what's goin' on ever. Anyways, ritual sacrifice takin' place at the church later so maybe don't go there."

"What the fuckin hell is Scooby Doo?"

"I'm up at super strange hours of the day and I like whatever those things you humans eat are that are like tortilla tubes filled with beans."

"Didn't know I could actually get tired, but here we are."

[marz-likes-palaces]

tagging system post

blog navigation tags

#marz reblogs

#marz notes - #marz rants - #marz rants (a lot) - my talk tags from the smallest and most normal (notes) to the most balls to the walls, most unhinged, longest, weirdest, all of it: rants (a lot)

#marz liveblogs

#marz being creative - my own art. mostly writing, but there are a few (one? two?) images, there is my first try at a browser extension, there is some shit there

#marz aces it - my lgbtq+ tag. where lgbtq+ things go. yeah

#marz images - i cant remember but probably what it says on the tin

#music posting and #language tag - i usually forget to add them, but theyre so cool. look at my babies

#polls - tumblr polls

#survey - originally was for my own survey (look at it!!!) but will also be used for reblogging surveys in general

art tags

#marz gallery - paintings/sketches/drawings

#marz library - mostly fics, but i think there might be some analysis posts in there

#marz concert hall - music

#marz movie theatre [sic] - videos, mostly animations

#marz newsreel - mostly stream/show clips, but also gifs would go there, meme videos,... stuff

#marz lapidarium - statues/3d models

fandom tags

#qsmp

#jrwi - just roll with it (absurdly powerful roleplay podcast)

#jrwi bitb, #jrwi mythborne, #jrwi riptide, #jrwi the suckening, #jrwi wonderlust, #marzs jeerwee (i dont want it to show up in the main tags)

#tma - the magnus archives

#hcs4 - philza's season 4 hardcore world

#opq - ordem paranormal quarantena

#genloss - generation loss

#dsmp, #osmp

#hatchetverse - anything regarding the musicals tgwdlm, black friday, npmd and just the general extended universe (eg. nightmare time, workin' boys, yknow the shtick)

#original art - actually, not necessarily only original art per se, but also art from fandoms i never ever post about. like btvs

#palestine gofundmes - tag for sharing. there wont be much, sorry

would also strongly recommend these tags: #philza, #gabriel montez or #the eggs (about qsmp eggs)

[fyodior]

Hi flora it’s me 🪱 anon. Omg it’s been a HOT minute since I’ve come on here with my asks and stupid little unhinged headcanons. I’ve missed you! I’ve been lurking and liking though lol. It’s been almost a year 😭😭 I hope you remembered me if not that okay! For a refresher I’m the anon that would fill your asks with unhinged headcanons of fydor and Dazai specifically. If you still don’t remember that’s okay! I have come barring unhinged headcanons that may or may not jog your memory lmao😭 anyways here you go

-fydor is the type of guy to accidentally spill coffee on you and than gaslit you into thinking it was your fault and than make you pay for a new coffee.

-fyodor has unironically said “sigma male” with a straight face

-fydor has bad constipation a little to often and knows it’s from dairy products but refuses to give it up

-follow up to the hc above. He doesn’t believe in allergies. Like he thinks it’s a mindset???

-Fyodor is the Azealia Banks of the bsd universe. If you don’t know her… you do just search up her name she will not disappoint

-Fyodor would probably like discord kittens 😭

-he has unfortunately had a bowl cut in his lifetime

-fucking movie snob. Pretentious.

-say why can’t we just print more money when talking about inflation and watch hi. Plan your death???

-anti capitalist. He’s a contradiction

-has a pierced d!ck. Not because he wanted one or thought it suited him but because Dazai and him made a bet and he lost

-trauma dumps at the weirdest moments. He could be grocery shopping and turn to you and tell you in detail how he witnessed one of the most horrific deaths and than complain about how all the berries are underripe.

-he’s a twink. Sure he could be straight as an arrow but something he’s still a twink and we as a society have to accept that.

-has illegally obtained a hippo because… idk he wanted it probably???

-him and early 2000’s Tyra banks would get along so well

-went to Denmark once and ended up accidentally caused a small uprising amongst the fishermen??

-he has a massive schlong, one time he stuck it jello.

Alright that’s all for now! I will be back mwah!

-🪱

ASFHDFG OMG OF COURSE I REMEMBER YOU HOW COULD I FORGET???? i was scrolling thru one of my tags the other day and just thought of you!!!! i hope you’re doing well my love!!!!

and per usual these had me giggling so much SDHJHFGH you’re so right about the trauma dumping like you’re at the post office and he suddenly starts unloading some crazy ass shit like the man who invented postage stamps graphically murdered my brother and then smile politely at the store clerk

pierced dick….. hello 🤑🤑

and i’ll force him to be dairy free with me. solves both of our issues there we go !

thanks so much for sharing hehehehe ily <3

[elegantwoes]

Are you the same elegantwoes on asoiaf reddit?

Because if so, I saw your recent response to that user CL. I have been apart of that subreddit for years and MY GOD they have the weirdest takes on Sansa! It gets even weirder because they present it so coolly and detailed and yet if a person were to actually think about it, they would see this person's takes are straight up unhinged. This is not a matter of opinion. It is unhinged when you seriously believe that someone who pulls the shit Tyrion does and is still a good person????

It is even more DISGUSTING that they call Sansa's molester (because yes, Tyrion did assualt her) a hero and in contrast Sansa's heroism is up for debate??? Fuck right off. Like even if you don't consider her a hero, you do not get to call her molestor/potential rapist, the man who married her who would know full her brother would have to DIE for him to get WF etc, a hero!

I think what upsets me even more is that I know this poster is a HUGE Arya fan and because of that I KNOW they would not be overlooking Tyrion's behaviour if he acted the same way to Arya - ie forcing her to undress while she's terrified and touching her breasts. I can guarantee you they would not be OK with Arya being forced to have Tyrion's children, is what both Tywin and Tyrion wanted - too bad Sansa interfered with those plans LOL.

Finally I think it's really telling that they haven't responded to any of the points you made. Because they can't.

Yes I go by the same username on Reddit. I know which comment you’re specifically talking about. When I read it for the first time I needed time to recollect my thoughts. I was that speechless. Imagine calling Tyrion Lannister, after everything he has done, a hero. He is by far the darkest grey among all POV characters. GRRM has called him a villain. What is there to argue against that. Meanwhile Sansa is both explicitly and implicitly called a hero. GRRM said the Starks are heroes - which includes her. He agreed with the statement that Brienne is basically a Sansa with a sword and according to him Brienne is the most morally pure POV character. Sansa who is GRRM’s fairy tale heroine. Sansa who is patron saint coded. That Sansa Stark isn’t a hero? Anyone who says such thing is not arguing in good faith.

[doukeshi-kun]

imagine nikolai with a cockatoo on his shoulder and they both go cuckoo cuckoo together (and the parrot says the most unhinged shit)

the birb will say the weirdest sentence ever and nikolai will proudly say that he taught the birb successfully

[asukastylescenalynch]

the metal fandom has just been completely ruined by pervs. so many fans are constantly sexualizing musicians & making gross obscene comments about their bodies, always so obsessed with their genitalia & their boobs, & rating their bodie parts. they're just so vulgar all the time saying the weirdest most unhinged shit. they probably sit around watching too much porn & their brains have been rotted away. & when they're not overtly objectifying musicians & being disgusting they've developed creepy parasocial relationships with them. they actually believe these people are their best friends cuz they engaged with one of their posts or talked to them briefly at a concert. no you're delusional seek help. these musicians don't know you & you do not know them personally. ugh the fandom is just so toxic. on god these bands deserve better fans.

[mari-lair]

🤡 😂 🏅 💡for the fanfic ask thing!

🤡 What’s the dumbest thing you’ve written?

I am not even sure, Anon. This fandom indulges me (which is very nice, thank you), so I wrote so many silly AUs and dumb scenes.

I am tempted to say the 'hot springs that turn you into cats' terukane idea though! This one

😂 What’s the funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

I can't find the comment (My dumbass didn't save it T-T), but it was so iconic I still remember the vibe!

I briefly went on a hiatus for a hunterxhunter & hero academia crossover a few years ago, and someone prayed for a ton of religions for me to come back, but it wasn't formal, it was somehow both unhinged and written in such a dry way. Like I was already dead. And when I eventually update they went "oh shit you're alive?! I swear I was at your funeral"

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. they never commented after though, I miss them.

🏅 What is the fic you’re most proud of?

Smile (While You Can)! Is not perfect but many scenes still hold up, I still think some of my best arguments scenes (chap 8, chap 10,) are there. It was also the fic that made me realize I really like writing characters that are in love and fully embrace the feeling (sappy)

but if we are talking tbhk-kun fics only, the one I'm most proud of is Opening Doors. That fic killed me but I'm so proud of the end result! Is not perfect but i did manage to capture the kind of bi Akane insanity i was aiming for.

💡 What’s the weirdest thing you’ve been inspired by?

When I was on youtube I saw a comment that went something like "This singer voice is so beautiful mermaids wish they had it" and it got me thinking too hard, I ended up with the idea of "what if mermaids could also fall in love/be lured by a human song?" which inspired me to do a whole mermaid world with different mermaid species and such.

...I miss my mermaid world, I might do it for tbhk too. Though no promises, I already have enough on my 'fic ideas' list.

[gregmarriage]

thinking about tom being unhinged and saying weird ass shit to greg constantly and nero and sprous isn’t even the weirdest thing he’s ever said to him. but it’s the fact that yeah, it can be brushed off as just tom being tom and most likely greg did do that because he’s yet to realise tom’s feelings for him (and his own for tom) the fact that if tom wasn’t as batshit as he was and actually said stuff genuinely, instead of hiding behind layer upon layer of jokes, literally everyone would watch that scene and go “um?” but because it’s tom, he has to hide his genuine care for greg in that moment behind dumb “jokes” (“try to wrestle me to the ground, greg!”), when almost every thing he has ever said to greg has never been a joke. from “would you kiss me if i asked?” to “i’d castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.” tom has been genuine this whole time, but won’t let himself show it for fear of being too much, of being rejected. so he pretends it’s all a joke, “only razzing you, cuz!” because why the hell would greg ever want him anyway?

[cinnaminsvga]

1-40 go 😃👍 (LOL jk 10, 26, 36, and 38)

i only saw half the ask at first and i was ready to tell u to fuck off (affectionate) before i saw the rest LMAOOOOO luv u nary

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

ok so when i think "haunted", i interpret that as any writing that has left an impact on me (both as a writer and person) and that could be literally anything,,, if i had to name one, then i'd say "chinese cinderella" by adeline yen mah fucked me up SO BAD like i sobbed so hard after reading it and i can never forget it 🥲

my writing doesn't really haunt me? i write the weirdest fucking shit on earth like most of it is just to make myself laugh so not really haunting stuff... i guess tlhc kinda haunts me because i know i'm never gonna write something like that again... i truly peaked there's no where else to go

(also honorable mention to the fic passerine iykyk...)

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

i'm going to be very honest but literally every single character i've ever written is just some version of me,,, i am the queen of self-projection,,, they aren't necessarily always 1:1 versions of myself, but i do a lot of introspection and ask myself "what would i do in this situation?" or "how would i like people to react to this information?"

so when i write batshit insane seokjin, he represents how i would act if i were, like, 10% more unhinged. and when i write sad boy yoongi, that's just me being angsty and wanting him to suffer with me.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

LITERALLY NOTHING LMAOOOOO almost everything i write is either 1) researched or 2) based on what i think would happen

i think that's why i love writing crack because things don't have to make sense... so i guess what i "know" is that as long as my writing is entertaining, people tend to not care about anything else. people will still fall in love with your most insane characters no matter what you do to try and convince them otherwise. also, all my readers love yoongi and it kills me because i'm over here TRYING TO WRITE FOR OTHER PEOPLE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ENABLING ME

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

idk if this is weird, but i keep a note on my phone that is just compiled with all the "jokes" i want to use in any of my future stories. some of them don't even make any sense. for example, i have one that just says "nut into the earth... call that a stuffed crust" like wtf does that mean??? hello???