#they want subjective answers and observations of objective things

[beanieboosstuff]

Miso Soup - Mizu x Reader

Pairing: Mizu x Fem!Reader

Quote: Hello :) . First time posting something like this here on Tumblr, I apologize for any mistake and please be kind to me. 😭

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POV: Mizu doesn't admit her jealousy and you decide to share your Miso soup to improve her mood.

Mizu doesn't get jealous that easily. Why would she? She has never had a reason to.

She's on a path of revenge, seeking vengeance against the white men that made her this way, impure— But the way her lungs ache every time she sees you and Taigen laughing about something stupid or him blabbing his mouth off near you, just because you're friendly enough to entertain his hundredth story about a duel that he won. Is he really that entertaining to you, that he manages to make your mouth quirk up in that sickly, saccharine smile?

Can you blame her? How is Mizu supposed to not be jealous when Taigen, Taigen of all people gets to make you laugh and grin in such a sweet way? She hated it. She despised it.

Which is why—Mizu's eyebrow twitches in irritation, blue eyes that are hidden by her tinted shows following every movement and action in front of her with narrowed eyes. Watching you, again, raising your eyebrow playfully at whatever idiotic thing Taigen said to you, huffing to herself from resentment.

Her eyes were trained on you, not even noticing Ringo sending her a subtle look, before dragging off Taigen, both of them having a small, smug understanding of the situation. You don't seem to notice this, as you stop by a nearby stall to look at the intricate trinkets the merchant was selling. Before long, you feel a small, almost faint touch on your waist.

"Is he really that funny?" Mizu asks— no grumbles lowly, tilting her head as she looks into your eyes from under her kasa. She stands close to your back, her calloused hand having found it's way securely on your waist as she furrows her eyebrows. Was she... pouting?

You looked slightly at her lips when the pout was still apparent. Adorable. Turning your gaze to her eyes, a confused expression forms on your face.

“Who?” You asked as tilted your head slightly to the side, trying to decipher the question.

"Taigen." Mizu stated, almost sounding... irritated by the subject. "Is he really…that funny? He only babbles on about himself and his duels.." Mizu paused as a small frown appeared on her sharp lips.

"I do not see how you find him entertaining. He doesn't ever say anything funny, just brags. Yet you look at him and smile like that..." She stated quietly as she glared into your eyes.

“Taigen?” You asked digesting everything that the woman with the blue eyes told you. Little by little, you understood why she asked that.

“I find funny how pretentious he could be, he's definitely like every other man.” Replying by rolling your eyes smiling as you remembered how self-centered man can be.

Mizu huffed quietly to herself at the small response. She hated it, she really did. She had sworn herself to this revenge, and yet— the way you laughed when you and Taigen joked together... the way you smiled softly when he complimented you.

There was not a single moment in which you and Taigen weren't having fun or laughing and smiling, and she hated it. She hated that those pretty lips of yours were always smiling. "Is that it?" She asked, sounding almost disappointed with your answer.

Still confused by the topic of the conversation, you take a trinket from the tent and begin to observe the object as you prepare to formulate an answer.

“He's not funny, his egocentrism is.” You concluded by raising your gaze to face the tallest one next to you.

"You find his ego funny?" Mizu asked with an inquisitive tone. She had barely let go of your waist when she leaned more towards you, watching you closely and narrowing her eyebrows as if sizing your up.

She wanted to know the truth, not some sugar coated lie— but there was no need. You actually did find his ego funny, but that's not the point. "He never says anything funny, just brags and makes an ass of himself. But that makes you laugh?" She asked with a slight scowl.

Stop touching the object, for a moment you are silent digesting Mizu's persistent question. Putting the object again on the tent table you turn to Mizu, watching her face.

“It makes me laugh because all I could think about is if someone would be able to love someone like Taigen. He is definitely not interesting in a female gaze, at least not in my gaze.” You responds calmly, shrugging in the last part.

“Is this answer enough and enlightening for you?” You ask by raising your eyebrows.

"Does it not bother you that he is always trying to flirt with you?" She asked quickly, her voice sounding low and quiet. She tilted her head and continued questioning you relentlessly.

"That he's always touching you... trying to hug you or grab your hand." Mizu asked quietly as her jaw clenched from irritation, the muscles on her arm tensing up as she tried to hold herself back.

Frown your eyebrows with Mizu's question, now making sense of why they are having this conversation. You approach her slightly, noticing her irritation on her face.

“You jealous, Mizu?” Murmurs low just so she could hear. You tilt your head to the side in an attempt to see her face.

"Jealous?" She asked quietly, sounding both amused and irritated. Her blue eyes twinkled with a faint smile as she raised an eyebrow and scoffed quietly.

"No." She tried to push away the subtle flush that graced her cheeks. "I'm not jealous." Mizu paused, leaning back from you lightly as she sighed quietly.

"Taigen and his stupid flirting doesn't bother me." She stated quickly, sounding slightly irritated still.

Surprised by Mizu's stubbornness in not admitting that she felt jealous, you look to the side seeing Taigen in a Misô tent along with Ringo. Looking back at Mizu, you smiled with a false air of innocence.

“If that had bothered you, I would be willing to ask him to stop...” You started, staring at her to know her reaction. “But you say you don't mind, so neither do I.” You shrug a smile.

Mizu huffer quietly to herself as her cheeks flushed even more brightly. Her jaw was tensed, wanting to argue the point with all of her will but couldn't.

Why couldn't she just admit it? It was a stupid question, anyways. She was just a little envious that someone as handsome as Taigen liked you that much, was what she was going to tell herself.

"It doesn't bother me!" She repeated slightly louder, though it sounded more like a half-truth than anything.

You face her once again waiting for another answer, but as she was too stubborn to admit it, you just accepted that the answer Mizu gave you would be just that.

“If you say so.” Shrug deep sighing, moving away from the samurai and heading towards Ringo and Taigen, craving to eat Miso.

She watched as you walked off to Taigen and Ringo, and she wanted to follow, to argue some more about whether she was actually jealous or not. But she didn't. Instead, she just huffed quietly to herself as she looked down at the ground and closed her eyes with a small sigh.

Why was it so hard to admit that Taigen's flirting bothered her? Why did she care so much?

Still walking towards the food stall, you turn your face back in an attempt to find Mizu's eyes, but all you could see was her looking at the floor. In a heavy sigh turning forward again.

“Hey guys, already chosen the food?” You ask smiling excited as soon as you get closer to Taigen and Ringo, receiving a kind smile from both of them.

Taigen nodded briefly at you as his grin widened and he put an arm around Ringo gently. "We got the pork miso." He commented, sounding more than a little flirty. He even smiled more widely which was enough for you to catch onto the fact that he was trying to get your attention.

“You coming with us?” He asked— but this time his words were focused solely on you, as though he ignored Mizu's presence completely approaching.

You face them both and smile, agreeing. “That's sounds good. I think I want one.” You speak approaching the bowls, bending slightly to smell the soup while closing your eyes.

Taigen smirked as his eyes wandered to your exposed back, and before you could even do anything about it, he came up behind you and grabbed you by the hip, wrapping his hand around your waist like some sort of jealous boyfriend— and he held you close. He even leaned down, placing his hand in the small of your back which made the two of you even closer.

Opening your eyes widely surprised by the sudden touch on your back. You look back and see Taigen next to you smiling, frown your eyebrow confused by his act. Through your peripheral vision, you see Mizu behind him observing this whole situation.

Keeping eye contact with Mizu for a few seconds, you quickly take Taigen's hand out of your body, getting up completely. Looking at the man inside the stall and smile politely while placing your order.

Taigen looked at you in surprise as you ripped yourself away from his grasp, and he watched as you ordered politely from the person running the miso stall. He smirked awkwardly and glanced over at Ringo, probably expecting him to say something witty, but the big one just hummed in disagreement.

Mizu continued to watch the whole scene quietly, not making any reaction. She did, however, observe the fact that you refused to let Taigen touch you, as if his flirtations actually bothered you.

Taking your bowl and bowing in thanks to the man, you turn towards the three who were waiting for you. Ringo and Taigen already had their bowls in their hands, only Mizu who didn't ask for anything.

You approach Mizu, while putting a portion to your mouth, letting out a moan of satisfaction. “This tastes amazing. Here, try it.” You say rolling some noodles in the chopsticks and raising it to the height of Mizu's mouth.

Mizu hesitated when you raised the bowl above her, her eyes narrowing. She was about to brush it off and simply turn away but then suddenly her curiosity got the better of her. Mizu slowly lifted her head and cautiously opened her mouth, ready to bite into your offering. She took a small piece of the meal that you offered to her and bit into it, chewing slowly.

Seeing Mizu leaning so close to your hand made you feel a growing heat on your cheeks. Cleaning your throat by putting the chopsticks inside the bowl.

“Good right?” You whisper afraid of your voice getting weak if raise a tone.

Mizu swallowed the piece of noodles in her mouth, nodding quietly as a small smile appears on her lips.

"It is, very good..." She stated quietly— though there was no trace of any awkwardness or embarrassment from her tone of voice. Mizu's eyes glanced to the side, not willing to meet your gaze for long. There was a slight blush spreading across her cheeks, but she tried to force the color out of her.

Also looking to the side, you realize that Taigen and Ringo were already out of your field of vision, getting lost in the middle of the stall.

Turning your attention to the bowl, mixing the soup a little more. “If you want to, I can share with you my meal.” You say shrugging while still staring at the food.

Mizu didn't want to admit that she was liking the attention you were giving her, that she felt her heart completely warm. She wanted to be close to someone, but at the same time she was hesitant, scared of getting close because it always ended in pain. So in the end, she would just do the opposite, distance herself from people.

She paused for a second as she noticed the two of you were now alone by the miso stall. "I would like that..." She said quietly, her tone of voice showing a small amount of vulnerability.

“Right.” You whisper smiling, as you took her hand and guided her to a bench further away.

Without realizing it, your action implied a new direction for the relationship of the two of you. Making Mizu felt seen, felt important in some type of way.

[luvsellie]

MASC ON [e. williams]

pairing high school au!ellie x fem!reader

summary being the new girl in school meant walking in to projects smack-dab in the middle of the year. but when you get assigned to work with the masc girl who sits next to you, there’s no hiding your blatant attraction toward her…and maybe she can’t hide her’s either.

warnings ellie and reader are 18 here (seniors in high school) !! kissing, pining (this is literally just fluff and i wanted an excuse to write for flashback el)

wc 3.9k

note this is incredibly self-indulgent and took me an embarrassing long amount of time to actually write i apologize (title inspiration from the song mask off by future)

“this is so stupid.”

ellie’s complaint compelled you to roll your eyes, a redundant sigh escaping you. “i heard you the last three times you said it.”

your deskmate slumped against the side of her bed, nimble fingers fidgeting with a slightly chewed pen as she watched you create a rough outline of the halle comet on a large poster board—she thought it was more entertaining than trying to gather the essential information your teacher had required to be provided. you could feel her eyes observing every flick and stroke of your pencil as you struggled to copy the image from your laptop.

the task had deemed itself to be more complicated than you thought, and after one more final attempt, you tossed the writing utensil to the side in frustration. “this is so stupid.”

snorting at your disgruntled attitude, ellie reached for the pencil. “how about this; i’ll draw and you get the stats. i’m dying of boredom over here.” she shuffled closer before you could object, shoving her textbook your way.

not bothering to argue, you grabbed your backpack and started to sift through the supplies you had brought along to her house. markers, pens, pencils, scissors, binder…

removing your binder from your bag you flipped it open, only to be met with other assignments and notes from varying classes. groaning, you said over a shoulder, “ellie do you have notebook paper?”

“yeah—top drawer of my desk,” she answered without looking in your direction, her short hair falling to cover the side of her face.

nodding to yourself, you shoved your things back in your bag and stood, making your way toward her desk. it was rather cluttered, which didn’t shock you in the least, but still organized in probably a way only ellie would understand.

you grabbed the first drawer’s handle and gently pulled, exposing the mess that was inside. grumbling to yourself about how ellie couldn’t possibly be able to find anything in this chaos, you began to poke through her things. managing to spot a spare journal—which you noted was not looseleaf paper like you had asked—you carefully maneuvered the notebook out from underneath all of her art supplies.

hip-thrusting the drawer shut, you flipped the journal open, eager to get on with the research you did not want to do, simply to get this project over with. but as you overturned lined pages, you came to realize this was a sketchbook—and you were the starring subject.

“ellie,” you called, eyes trained on a drawing of you slumped over a book in the school library (you recalled this day rather vividly).

the auburn-haired girl finally looked up from her spot on the carpeted floor. she quickly realized what was in your hands. “shit,” she couldn’t help but mutter in panic. ellie rushed to her feet, already reaching to take the sketchbook from you. “sorry, you weren’t supposed to-”

you said her name again, interrupting her explanation with “you would’ve saved me a lot of time had you been the one to draw that ridiculous comet from the get-go.”

ellie’s arm fell to her side, and she tried to calm her racing heart with a deep inhale. she scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, invisible strings tugging on the corners of her mouth when she realized you weren’t pissed at her. “yeah, i guess you’re right.” she paused before adding, “you’re a really shitty artist.”

your eyes flickered to hers immediately, and you snapped the journal shut before smacking her left upper arm with it. “hey! i tried my best, okay? we can’t all be as talented as you.”

“got that right,” ellie mused, her familiar easygoingness making a return. she stuck a hand out. “can i please have my sketchbook back?”

you kissed the back of your teeth, giving her a look of contemplation as you hugged the object in your hand a little closer to your chest. “mm, i don’t know. i was thinking about going through it some more. i mean, i barely got to see anything.”

ellie’s eyebrows shot up. “seriously?”

“seriously,” you told her with a nod, taking a step closer to the desk behind you.

her hand dropped, and you swore that something flashed across her face, but before you could identify what it had disappeared. maybe i’m pushing it, you thought suddenly, growing aware of the way you were holding onto something that she probably poured her heart and soul into.

across from you, ellie adjusted her stance before shrugging. “alright. have fun, i guess. i just need it back tomorrow by 6th period.”

you blinked at her words, dumbfounded by her compliance. watching her return to the poster board on the floor, you held the little journal closer, already making note of what you would be doing later when you returned home.

ellie liked to draw you. she supposed it was rather obvious, but seeing the way your eyes widened as you observed her drawings made her second guess. had she really not been that apparent? she guessed not. and while she was excited to let you take her sketchbook home, she was more nervous.

it was very hard to sleep that night, and only when the small illuminated numbers on her alarm clock struck two a.m. did she finally manage to doze off.

“you look a little…rough,” dina said, cringing at her own word choice.

ellie ran a hand through her hair as she walked beside the shorter girl. “thanks. i hadn’t noticed.”

dina ignored the jab. “i can’t believe you actually gave it to her. hell, you never even let me touch that thing…and you’ve only known her for, like, two weeks! i am feeling a little betrayed, but it’s whatever.”

“letting her look at it just…felt right? i don’t know how to explain it. she doesn’t seem like someone who’d become suddenly disgusted by me drawing her way before we ever started talking,” ellie confessed, spotting the door to her earth and space class.

“ouch.” dina grabbed ellie’s arm, pulling her to an empty wall. “first of all, i wouldn’t be disgusted by you if i was her. secondly, stop being nervous. there’s no need for all of that.”

“i’m not nervous,” she objected immediately.

the brown-eyed girl stared blankly at her. “yes, you are. you’re more fidgety than normal. just go in there, sit down, and wait for her to walk in. you said she normally gets to class practically right before the bell rings?”

“yeah, she comes from the other side of the building.”

“perfect! now go.” dina shoved her friend in the direction of the classroom, waving her off with a smile.

sighing through her nose, ellie entered the room, greeted her teacher, and visibly sagged when she noticed you weren’t in your seat yet. there’s still some time, she thought to herself, not realizing that you had walked in behind her until you said: 

“hey, el, you’re kinda in the way.”

you watched as ellie turned to face you, her eyes wide as she whirled. “you got here fast,” she stated bluntly.

shrugging, you moved past her to walk toward your desk. as you sat you said, “class was in the library today since they were using our room for testing.”

ellie nodded from in front of you, still standing. you noticed how aloof she was acting. “are you gonna sit?” you asked, gesturing to the desk beside you.

“yes,” she said hastily, pulling back her chair. she landed with a thud. slouching against the back of her seat, she looked at you and continued, “you brought the poster in, right? this morning?”

your mouth pressed into a thin line. “yes, ellie, i brought the poster in. but we’re not presenting today anyway, so had i forgotten, we’d still be okay.”

“god, that is such a relief,” she sighed, leaning her head back to stare at the speckled tile ceiling and roll her tense shoulders.

“agreed,” you breathed while hauling your bag into your lap. unzipping it, you pulled out the familiar brown journal. “here. back to you before 6th period. just like you said.”

ellie took her notebook cautiously, setting it on her desk as she glanced at you.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked skeptically, lowering your voice to a whisper as your teacher started class at the front of the room. “if you didn’t want me to take it then why did you give it to me in the first place?”

the girl beside you shook her head, leaning her body closer. you stared at the outline of her tattoo as she said, “i wanted you to take it. i’m just nervous that you look at me differently now.” 

your eyebrows shot upward, both taken back and confused by her answer. “why would i even-” you turned to face her. “ellie, i don’t look at you ‘differently’ because you draw me. i think it’s rather sweet, actually.”

ellie was bewildered by your words, recalling what dina had said earlier about how she would have loved it if she were drawing her. maybe she had been right. licking her chapped lips, she shifted in her seat, as if she were going to say something, but snapped her head to the front when the teacher said her name sternly.

“miss williams i need you to pay attention, please. this has to do with the project, and i will not be happy when you decide to ask me something i already explained to the class,” the man up front lectured, making both you and ellie sit a little straighter in your seats.

you sent ellie an apologetic look when she glimpsed in your direction. as your teacher moved on from his scolding, you grabbed her sketchbook from her desk and flipped it open to a clean page, pen in hand.

meet me at my locker after school? you wrote quickly, pushing it over for her to see.

ellie grabbed the writing utensil you gave her. i have basketball practice after school :(

frowning, you exaggerated a sigh, shooting a playful eye roll her way as you scribbled out a reply. then i’ll come by the locker room after practice. there—problem solved.

problem solved. ellie wrote back with a grin, nodding at your solution.

“i am incredibly stupid. what was i even thinking?”

jesse was quick to shoot down your self-loathing, his shoulder brushing up against yours as he walked you in the direction of the girl's locker room. “no, you’re not. you were bold. there’s a difference.”

you pressed your lips into a thin line, cheeks slightly puffing out before you kissed the back of your teeth. anxiously running a hand over your face, you said, “well…is there really?”

“yes,” your friend quipped.

rolling your eyes, you shoved jesse jokingly as someone came walking out of the locker room. you instantly recognized dina in her cheerleading outfit, a knowing smile making its way onto your lips. the girl from your history class had always been super friendly.

“dina!” you called, earning a low groan from jesse.

the cheerleader grinned immediately, though you recognized its falter when she spotted her ex by your side. “hey! what’re you doing in the athletic building?” she made a show of not acknowledging jesse.

“i’m here for ellie!” you told her with a toothy smile, fidgeting with the straps of your backpack.

dina’s eyes widened with realization, but her bubbly appearance didn’t feign. she pointed a thumb toward the door she had come out of. “oh! she’s the last one still in the locker room, which i suppose you might’ve already known?”

shaking your head, you said, “yeah, i told her i’d meet her after basketball practice had finished.”

“well don’t let me keep you here then,” dina exclaimed, stepping out of the way to the door with the tiny woman’s symbol on it.

you nodded as you stepped past her, only looking over your shoulder to say, “i’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

“yep!” dina confirmed.

jesse shot you a reassuring grin as you disappeared into the dimly lit hallway that hosted the coaches’ offices.

heart beginning to race, you pulled the door handle to the locker room and forced your legs to move. the fluorescent lights were harsh against your eyes, your chest constricting with nerves as you walked past bathroom stalls, sinks, and floor-length mirrors. you couldn't remember the last time you had been in a locker room.

finally coming up on the athletic lockers (they were on a completely separate wall from the regular physical education lockers), you started to hear shuffling.

“ellie?” you called out, trying your best to not sound like you wanted to abandon this idea entirely.

as you passed a few more of the athletic cages, you spotted the girl you were searching for. her lack of a shirt made you balk.

turned toward the lockers, ellie passed a towel through her wet hair, arms tense with movement. you admired the taunt muscles of her back, her damp skin littered with small, but visible, freckles.

she hadn’t noticed your presence.

you cleared your throat promptly, offering her a smile when she turned around. trying not to be distracted by her toned arms and abdomen, you said, “hi ellie. hope i didn’t catch you at a bad time?”

she shook her head, mouth curling into something between a genuine grin and a satisfied smirk. “hey…and no, you caught me at a really good time, actually. practice ended about 45 minutes ago.”

nodding, you took a few steps closer. “yeah, i know. i asked a friend when practices normally end. figured me being a little ‘late’ would benefit. didn’t want to catch you before you had time to shower.”

“ouch,” she said, reaching to grab for her dirty practice t-shirt in her locker. ellie looked over her shoulder as you halted.

something about the way her eyes glinted made you deadpan, “if you throw that at me i will turn around and leave right now.”

chuckling to herself, ellie shook her head. “calm down, i’m not throwing anything at anyone.” she dramatically put the shirt and a pair of folded athletic shorts in a drawstring backpack before shoving it back into the locker.

“you are so annoying,” you snapped at her, moving to sit on the wooden bench placed directly in the middle nook of lockers. as you sat, you caught a whiff of sharp mahogany and cheap cologne.

ellie’s eyebrows raised, her shoulders leaning to press against the cool metal behind her. “and yet here you are, going out of your way to meet me in the back of the locker room after school.”

part of you was certain she made emphasis on the phrase ‘back of the locker room.’

shooting her a glare, though, you straightened as you said, “i said you were annoying, not that i didn’t like you.” there was a pregnant silence before you added, “besides, i wanted to ask if you wanted to go get coffee with me.” you watched ellie’s lips pull back in disgust, your heart dropping in an instant. “or not. sorry, i didn’t-”

“how about we go get dinner instead?” she interrupted. “coffee’s disgusting and i’m starving.”

blinking at her words, you licked your lips. “yeah. yes. that works.” it took you a moment to regain your composure. shit, i almost blew that. “i didn’t know you hated coffee.”

ellie turned and grabbed a hair tie. as she put half of her hair up—somehow in the most attractive way you might add—she said, “oh, yeah. that shit is gross.”

“um, have you even tried it?” you asked doubtfully, mouth forming into a frown. when the auburn-haired girl stayed quiet and instead clasped a thin silver chain around her neck you guessed her answer was clean no. 

you scoffed as you nudged her sock-covered foot. “i’m going to force you to try mine the next time i bring some.”

“sounds great,” ellie said sarcastically, a grin tugging on her lips. her smile sent chills sprawling down your spine.

shrugging off your backpack, you set it by your feet, muttering out a barely audible, “fuck.” you had no idea where this conversation was going, and your attempt at asking her out on a date had been a bust…sort of?

ellie had declined coffee and suggested dinner, but it still sounded like it fit more under the category of  ‘hangout as friends.’ talking to her was sometimes like talking to a brick wall. masc’s are so fucking clueless, you thought, releasing a heavy sigh through your nose. or maybe i’m not being obvious enough?

“what?” she asked at your suddenly agitated (as she’d describe it) attitude, wetting her chapped lips as she went to sit next to you. lifting a leg over the bench, she sat, body facing yours as she man-spreaded for comfort—her proximity and stature reminded you that she was still very much shirtless…and somehow way better at this (you weren’t sure what this even entitled) than you were.

goosebumps spread across the skin of your upper arms. you shifted, pulling up a knee to rest on the wood as you trailed off, eyes avoiding hers, “you’re just so…”

her head tilted, eyes narrowing as she leaned closer. there was no way she didn’t notice the way you sucked in a breath. “i’m so what? look at me when you talk,” she said.

your gaze snapped toward hers, but first flickered to the swell of her mouth.

“i’m so what?” she repeated, her voice lowering an octave. when you said nothing, she added, “cat got your tongue?”

between her teasing and the adrenaline coursing through your body, you were compelled to do the only thing you could think of to shut her up—to make her drop the questions. swallowing the lump building in your throat, you grabbed her face, thumbs pressing against her warm cheeks, and kissed her with unmistakable want.

although ellie hadn’t expected for you to be so physically direct, she did not mind it at all. following the rough pace you had set, she kissed you back with just as much ferocity, her fingers slipping into the belt loops of your jeans to slide herself forward and you closer.

you mewled at her movement, the pressure between your thighs growing as intensely as you were kissing her. she was quick to regain control of the situation you had thrust upon her.

“ellie,” you mumbled against her mouth, your eyes half-shut as she tugged on your jeans a second time.

“come here,” she told you hastily, lips trailing toward your left ear. “sit on my lap.” she kissed your temple. “please.”

shuddering at her request, you wasted no time in pulling away, pushing yourself off the bench, and situating your legs over hers in a straddle position.

the heat from ellie’s skin seeped through the fabric of your shirt, her hands slipping past the hem. you found yourself arching instinctively to her venturing touch, your stomach twisting into tight knots.

“you are going to make me go insane,” she confessed, her words coming out in a whisper, leaning in to kiss you again. her lips were gentler against yours, eager to savor the moment.

in turn, you indulged in letting your palms trace the sculpted muscles of her arms, fingers trailing every dip and curve from her years of work in the weight room. “you are so beautiful,” you told her delicately, relishing the way her skin burned under yours.

ellie followed the compliment, her hands finding your face and forcing you to look at her. green eyes etched with something between lust and admiration, she thumbed a corner of your mouth. “do you have any idea what you do to me?” she whispered. “from the moment you walked into that classroom…”

her words died in her throat and she swallowed thickly as you shook your head. “don’t do that. not here.”

“do what?” she questioned, adjusting her position on the bench.

the friction between your legs forced you to release a shaky breath, and you licked your lips in an attempt to focus on bringing your thoughts into coherent sentences. she was making it extremely hard. “i want to talk about this over dinner,” you told her hoarsely. “about what we are now. about what you want us to be.”

“are you saying you want to go on a date?” she asked quietly.

you couldn’t help your sudden smile. “i asked you earlier when i mentioned coffee, but you instantly shut that idea down.”

ellie rolled her eyes, though you could sense her pang of guilt. “you weren’t very clear on the date part. otherwise, i would’ve said yes immediately.”

surprise feigned your features. “you? saying yes to a coffee date?”

“oh, ha-ha.” she exaggerated the fake laugh. “and yes, had i known you were asking me out i would've sacrificed my comfort for your enjoyment. honestly, i think i do that quite often—as of right now i think my tailbone is being bruised.”

you sucked in harshly, moving off her with urgency as you shoved her shoulder with a hand. “why didn’t you say anything?!”

“and risk not feeling you up? yeah, no thanks.” her tone was definite.

your jaw fell slack as you crossed your arms over your chest, confounded by her response. “you can still feel me up without me in your lap, dummy.”

“yeah, but that sounds less fun,” ellie teased, holding up her hands in defense. she stood from her seat, reaching around you to grab her baseball t-shirt from earlier. as she put her arms through the sleeves she said, “i have a game tomorrow. you should come watch.”

you scrunched your nose jokingly, deciding to use her words against her. “and see you all sweaty? yeah, no thanks.”

ellie straightened out her shirt, shooting you a rather bemused look in the process. “how do you know you won’t like seeing me all sweaty and worn out?”

as she hunched down to pull on her converse, you exhaled heavily, unable to come up with something witty. mainly because she was right. you would totally like to see her all sweaty and worn out. so, with a slight bruise to your ego, you itched your nape, mumbling out, “i never said i wouldn’t like that. you always assume shit about me.”

“and you always assume shit about me, so we’re even,” ellie shot back, standing back up. she grabbed her backpack from inside the locker before changing the subject. “where do you wanna go for dinner?”

you shrugged, reaching down for your own bag. swinging it over a should, you said, “i don’t know. whatever you want. and you’re right, i do assume shit about you. like right now, for instance, i’m assuming you’re a picky eater.”

“i am not a picky eater.” she shut down your claim with a light kick to your shoe. “and fine, i’ll pick something and surprise you. did you drive to school today?”

you shook your head. “no.”

“great, looks like you’re sticking with me then.” she tried and failed to hide her cheeky smile. closing her locker, she grabbed your hand, hastily leading you toward the main hallway of the locker room. “come on.”

trailing after her, you felt your cheeks heat with the prompt realization of your reality. maybe you’d have to thank your earth and space teacher for assigning that stupid comet project. the steady growth of your relationship with ellie made your insides twist with pure excitement, and as she rambled about how much you would enjoy her restaurant of choice, you couldn't help but succumb to the feeling of pure bliss.

[matchlocksunflowers]

taking some extra anatomy classes this year, here are some of my notes in case they could help someone. should be updated every weekend (aside from october 28th and november 4th which are free days) with the following lesson's notes. (further explanations at the end)

anyway. here goes:

SCENE 0-1: LEARNING HOW TO LOOK/OBSERVE

when drawing, we each more or less have our own methods when approaching certain subjects, with multiple tools at our disposal in order to achieve the desired results. 

but generally, when drawing a model (or most things from life, actually) we can in some sort of way define a general order as to when to draw what: 

Looking / Observing

Blocking In

Correcting

Details

for today i’ll focus on the first one of the list, looking / observing.

the existing nuance between “seeing” and “looking” exists in the sense that “seeing” is more passive than “looking”. when you say “i can see a cat”, you aren’t paying too much attention to the cat. but when you say “i am looking at a cat’, you are actively paying attention to the cat and what they’re doing. 

(given the class is in French, the nuance was similar, using the words “voir” and “regarder”. but due to French not having a close equivalent to “watch” i cannot make more parallels about this, as my knowledge of English and French-to-English translation is still fairly limited)

when looking at a subject, the primary objective should be to understand what you’re looking at. you can look at a subject (or the world as a whole) under multiple filters: values, hues, proportions, in 2D or 3D, and so on. you need to define how you want to look at a subject following these filters of vision. what do you want to look at first? what do you want the viewer to look at first? this is important to define before you put your tool to your support. 

generally when drawing from life, it’s a bit reckless to rush to draw the model without actually observing them a minimum. you should take the time to observe, you are allowed to take your time to observe. no amount of limited time should paralyze you from examining the model the best you can before you put your tool to use. 

getting this more precise vision of your model can give you a better vision of their body, which is often hidden under detail. when drawing them, you should ask yourself “how is the model posing?” 

why look/observe? (probably like the most given piece of advice by pros and art youtubers who aren’t pros but still get called pros cause they have 1 million subscribers on youtube) 

this question is very easily asked but also very easily answered: 

to know how and what you’re going to draw 

to time yourself correctly and have a good time management (drawing a pose in 2 minutes is completely different to drawing a 10 minutes one), thus,

to avoid rushing to draw the subject. as said previously, take your time. start slow, but stay accurate to the model. (teacher compared it to a musician rehearsing a piece, first slowly, then speeding it up progressively as he gets to know the piece itself better and better. unfortunately as someone who is as farthest from a musician as can be, i cannot honestly attest to if this is accurate). 

but really, there is actually no such thing as a “finished” drawing. a graphite drawing could always have color added afterwards, a painting could always get more and more detailed. a piece is “finished” only when you deem it is finished. the French Académie des Beaux Arts didn’t like the Impressionists because to them, what the impressionists were doing were half assed jobs, since the idea of “transmitting a vague feeling, or an emotion through a specific style of very visible strokes” was absolute fuckery to them. speaking of, 

to transmit an emotion, or a feeling through the posing of the model. the more technical and controlled the strokes will be, the finer the wanted sensation will be felt by the viewer. this also ties in the physical aspect of the model. ideally, in order to achieve this, you can try posing the same way the model does. it may be a bit awkward but it works (depending on your learning type, of course.) 

to understand how the whole “body system” works. “i know the rules of the human body, therefore i make little to no mistakes.” 

adding a whole context to the pose helps: adding a situation in which the pose could work in gives some meaning to your drawing, as well as helping you remember it better. it also adds a narrative element to your drawing(s), which are absolutely always a plus. (memorization is also an important tool!)

now let me play devil’s advocate and ask: why not look/observe?

well, uh, there are two reasons my teach told us: 

to let your instinct and imagination go wild and free, trust your gut and have fun!! 

and, tying back, 

to let yourself be surprised by what you’ve done.

form synthesis (or just different types of approaches to draw form)

when drawing a model, there’s a few things that can be mentioned: 

multiple types of lines exist with different purposes within the drawing: the action line(s), structural lines, and contour lines. 

action lines define the overall movement of the pose. the principal one is the one you see when giving a better look at how dynamic the pose is. the secondary ones are the ones you can find in secondary rhythms when examining the pose a little longer. 

(here's a better example, actually:)

structural lines are pretty much the “stickman skeleton” you sometimes see in certain how to draw books (specifically the more advanced manga themed ones).

contour lines surround the form in a way as to draw all of the outer body without using inside shapes or lines. (it is also the basis for the Bargue method which will be slightly discussed below. there unfortunately won’t be any talk about cross-contour lines, as it hasn’t been talked about in class (yet?)) 

generally, lines take either an I shape, a C shape or an S shape. (teach said it’s preferable to mostly use I and C type lines when drawing live models. probably due to the fact that S shapes are much trickier to use “effectively” within a piece (effectively not meaning much in this context, if nothing at all. again, have fun.)). using these lines tell a lot about the model and the pose, telling a sort of dynamic storytelling which varies depending on what type of line you choose to represent your model. 

we can mostly talk about 2D shapes when three or more points have been linked by lines. sometimes, lines can skip articulations for the sake of dynamism. shapes should be thought about in their entirety, the difficulty that can be encountered usually being remaining vague but accurate with your form. 

now, a quick word about: 

the Bargue method (or, the fuck do you mean the Americans used it in art schools before us, Bargue was literally born in Paris, i fucking hate the Académie des Beaux-Arts)

the Bargue method is probably fairly well known among certain art schools or artistic communities. if i do recall correctly; it originated with Bargue noticing the low level of the students of the Académie des Beaux-Arts de Paris (or some other place basing itself solely on academic style art and paintings located in the city of Paris in the country of France on the continent of Europe) and devising a simple way to learn how to draw accurately from life (or plaster casts, depending on what you prefer). it solely based itself on straight, contour lines, forming a base around which to slowly add details to. apparently, a lot of art schools in america base their teaching of life drawing on this method, but given i do not feel like getting over $200k in debt without even mentioning living and travel costs, i cannot say if that is actually true. 

here's an example of it:

it’s pretty much basing yourself on simplifications of the form to attain absolute accuracy. no curves here to distract you, only straights. somehow, when pulled off correctly, it gives a very neat impression of realism.

anyway, that’s all i wrote down. hope teach won’t see this anytime soon, and hope this kinda helped a little bit. next week’s notes should be about blocking in shapes, so we’re starting to be a little more concrete with the actual drawing process. 

these classes were taught by Mr Francis Buchet at a class given at the Académie de la Grande Chaumière, so most of the things i’m saying here are taken from him and his class. if you live in/close to Paris and are interested in learning artistic anatomy, i suggest you look up where he is giving public classes, since they’re infinitely more engaging than these notes. his instagram is be linked below. (hoping he doesn’t get mad at me for sharing these notes… in any case i will use my own example sheets to avoid getting in any more trouble.)

and, may i remind you: these notes are only here to showcase one approach among many others, so they don’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. i myself am in absolutely no way a professional, so please, take all of this with a grain of salt (or a spoonful, even). draw how you enjoy drawing, and find happiness in the way you want to draw. 

Francis Buchet's instagram: x

so, seeyou next weekend! (or earlier, if i draw something i want to show here.)

[lamelycool]

Done All Wrong

Spock x FemReader

An: uh...this didn't quite go as expected so I'm sorry lol. By time noticed it was off subject it was too late soooo I deciced to go ahead and finish it. But don't worry I'm working on a fic more on subject to what you requested! 😭

Request: Spock x Reader where reader works under Spock and is terrified/attracted to him and thinks he hates her bc of his blunt Vulcan behavior? But in the end discovers he secretly is attracted to her and feels protective of her.

Warnings: embarrassing situations, anxiety, and some adult language.

Summary: You have a certain pointy earred alien on your mind for multiple reasons. You should hate him like he hates you but you can't bring yourself to. Much to your dismay and embarrassing moments ensue as a result.

You sigh staring at the specimen in front of you. A boring plain leafed plant from one of the recent expeditions. Ordinary nothing special. Quite lackluster and disappointing. Not someone anybody would care for. Someone? Gosh you need a break, this is getting sad. Projecting your angst on to a poor little plant is defiantly a new low. You shake your head and sigh running a hand over your face. A few of your fellow science officers send concerned glances your way. You flush slightly embarrassed.

'I need to get back to work,' you think. You know that you can't keep pushing of your work because of your silly angst. Especially since Sp- he would notice. 'Don't need to give him a reason to nag me.' Well not like you'd have to give him one. Lately it seems all he can do is nag and belittle you. Critiquing each and every little thing that you do. And yet you still lov-

"Ugggh, get it together lieutenant and stop acting like a child." You groan under your breath aggravated.

You pick up your pad and look at the plant to continue your observations. Aroma? Earthy and warm. Size? 11.9 inches. Form? Stalky lean. Leaf shape? Spatulate. Flower color? You lean forward, silly black blossom. Your heart races but you take a deep breath and continue. Leaf color? A lovely shade of green. It reminds you of the faint flush of-

"Is everything alright?"

"!" You let out a gasp and whip around. And of course wouldn't you know it, it's the last person you'd want to see. The object of your frustration and affections, Spock.

Spock's eyebrow twitches up. "My apologies I did not intend to frighten you."

"No! No it's fine. I just wasn't expecting you to just show up so sudden is all..." You put a hand over your racing heart. You can feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment. You wish you could just disappear right now. Maybe if you ju-

"Lieutenant, are you well? You have been distracted since you arrived for your shift. Aswell as your excessive sighing and your flush cheeks. Are you sick? If so I will have to implore you to go to sick bay." Spock admonishes you.

"I- I am not sick! I admit I'm distracted but...It's not- I'm not sick." You stammer. You can't believe he's calling you out like this, so loud and very public. It's humiliating. Your can't even look him in the eyes anymore. Because you're certain if you did he'd peer into your mind and learn as to why you been so distracted. You'd rather die then for him to find out. He's already cruel enough. Gosh, how could this get any worse?

And you to your horror you realize, quite easily is the answer. While avoiding his burning yet apathetic gaze you notice your coworkers glancing at the scene. Judging and knowingly. Some whispering, some pointing. They all know. They know why. They can tell. Your feelings. Oh my god...Oh god...Oh god-

Spock either doesn't notice your panic or doesn't care because he continues to chew you out. "Are you certain? Because it appears you are flushing even worse now. But if you are not sick would you care to explain your actions? Particularly talking to the plant you are supposed to be inspecting. That is certainly not an action a healthy and sane person would take. Perhaps you need to see a counselor or be reliev-"

"Just stop!" You snap you can't help it. You're so overwhelmed. Everything is too much. All the eyes looking at you. And him. Why does he have to hate you so much. Why... Oh god and now you've yelled at him! You've just made this into an even bigger scene. Thank god there's not too many people in the labs this late at night. But everyone will soon hear about this...oh god you're fucked.

You begin to tear up. You look into his eyes finally. His eyebrows are raised almost holding an expression of shock and maybe concern? Who are you kidding as if he could care. Even if he could care he'd definitely not care for you.

"Why? Why do you hate me so...so-" you're cut off by a small cry that escapes. You quickly throw a hand over your mouth to stop any more from escaping. Tears begin to run down your face. You panic, you need to get out as soon as possible and spare yourself any further embarrassment. You dash out of the labs. Leaving behind a shocked and confused Spock.

°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°••~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°

"I simply do not understand why she was upest."

"You don't understand why she was upset? You don't- My god how could someone so smart be so stupid!" Leonard McCoy exclaims exasperated.

"You think that I am smar-"

"That is not the point you pointy eared hobgoblin! Goodness gracious...look." McCoy sighs and leans forward in his seat giving Spock a tired glare.

"You insulted and embarrassed the poor girl in front of all her lab rat coworkers. Hell if I was her I would have done a whole lot more to you then shout and cry. I'd give ya what for." McCoy states plainly punching his palm with his clenched fist.

"I see...it was not my intention to embarrass her nor do I hate her."

"You don't?" McCoy looks at him in disbelief.

"What? Of course I do not hate her nor harbor any ill intentions towards her."

"Goodness Spock... you sure have a way of showing it. Look, I talk to her. We're close and let me tell ya you've been giving her some hell. Ya leave her as ill as a hornet. If you don't hate her then why do ya insist on angering and embarrassing that poor little lady?"

"I- I was unaware I was angering or embarrassing her." Spock says quietly eyebrows furrowed and slightly lowered. Truly he would never wish to upset you. He just wants the best for you and to help you be the best you can be.

"My god...you like her don't you? Heh... Spock you're in deep." McCoy laughs at Spock's expense.

"Please do not tease me. What should I do?"

"Your asking ME for advice? I never thought I'd see the day. My my my you do have it bad."

Spock gets up to leave but is stopped my McCoy's hand that pushes him back into his seat. "Yer not goin anywhere. Sit right there I'm gonna grab some drinks. We're gonna need it."

•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°

"You've got five minutes to explain." You snap at him while leaning in your doorway.

Spock nods, " I am deeply sorry. It was not my intention to anger you or to embarrass you. Nor do I hate you, it is quite the opposite. I- I deeply enjoy your company and I find you fascinating. You make me feel although I do not know how to show it. But I will endeavor to do better if you could forgive me? And if you return my feelings?"

You stand in shock. There is no way this is really happening. "Pinch me."

"No, why would I wish to harm you? Did I not explain well enough I do not wish any form of harm or discomfort to you?" Spock says looking offended and confused.

"Nonono sorry, its just an expression. I just can't believe this is real. I must be dreaming."

"Dreaming?"

"Yes, because there is no way that this is real. That you're basically confessed to liking me and asking me out! No, its too crazy..."

"You are not dreaming. And yes I do 'like you'. I also would not mind if you would allow me to court you."

"I-I really?"

"Indeed." Spock looks at you. Wondering if he's made a mistake. Perhaps you don't feel the same? Or he's hurt you too much. Or any other reason.

"Yes! I mean, yes. I would like that very much. I've liked you for awhile now. Um but just please try not to be so mean?" You say with a bright beaming smile.

"Of course." Spock nods seriously.

"Can I please hug you? I'm just so happy!"

Spock nods and stoops down to wrap you in a gentle hug. You wrap yourself up in his lanky form. Maybe the plant is loveable after all.

@yoursparkdoll @lucycola

[armagnac-army]

HOW TO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE IN ROLEPLAY BLOGS: A KINDA IN-CHARACTER GUIDE BY TWO FICTIONALISED DEAD FRENCHMEN AND THEIR ROLEPLAYER

Ahem!

This is an official communiqué from the Marshal Dukes of Montebello and Dalmatia!

We have the greatest faith in the conduct of those marching in our Grande Armeé and those that we associate with BUT this bulletin has been written wit hthe express objective of instructing you fine folk on PROPER ETIQUETTE in the context of "internet roleplaying!"

We welcome any corrections, comments or suggestions in either of our respective inboxes, or in the inbox of our roleplayer, @cadmusfly. We also do not intend for this curricular to be construed as blaming anyone, while it is written in reaction to certain events and conversations that have occurred. We understand that some recent conscripts and recruits do not have the context and understanding of "roleplaying" that others may have, and we do not wish to cast judgement on people who do not know.

This is an instructional guide on certain concepts that are useful to be aware of when roleplaying, as well as an imperative on the golden rule: Do Not Be A Fucking Asshole!

~

Contents of this Proclamation:

On The Matter of Basic Courtesy (Mature and Intense Topics, Real Life Comes First, Different Roleplaying Styles)

On The Difference Between In Character And Out of Character

On the Subject of Emotional “Character Bleed”

On “Metagaming” or the Subject of Abusing OOC Knowledge

On “Godmodding” or the Subject of Writing Other People’s Characters For Them

On “Powerplaying” or the Subject of Winning All The Time

On Joining Existing Ongoing Conversations And Interactions

On Interacting With Non-Roleplayers

~

On The Matter of Basic Courtesy

First of all, while this is a mature roleplay scene that addresses topics such as violence, sexuality and so forth, we are asking you to PLEASE observe common courtesy!

Certain topics should not be approached lightly, especially as an anonymous ask or message! These include but are not limited to: non-humourous insults and harassment, suicide baiting/suicide encouragement, heavily sexual and/or non-con content, non-exaggerated detailed threats of violence and other things that, if sent to a non-roleplaying blog, would be considered to be abusive and rude!

By default, assume that most people do not want to receive those things! Those blogs that are okay with answering such asks should tag posts that clearly fall under one of those topics under an easily blacklisted tag such as “harassment” or “tw harassment” and the specific topic, so that others who don’t want to see that can filter that out.

If a roleplay involves such topics or involves topics such as detailed sexual content, be considerate and put that under a cut!

This is also a reminder that you are not required to answer every ask or message that you receive! You are not required to have your inbox open or to have it open to anonymous messages and you may close or open your inbox as you wish! You may delete messages at your will. -

Second, we will advise you to keep in mind the maxim that Real Life Comes First. We are not expecting you to dedicate all your time and energy to this roleplay and roleplay interactions. While it is pleasant to receive swift timely responses, we recognise that this is not often feasible. We therefore ask that you attend to your own needs before dedicating time to fiction.

This is an activity for entertainment, and it should remain entertaining.

However, it is polite that if you are engaged in an ongoing involved roleplay activity or interaction that is dependent on your interactions, that you update the other people involved in this activity if you foresee that you are unable to respond for an abnormally long period of time. An example of an ongoing involved roleplay that is dependent on common updates is the current incident with Murat and Bessieres nicknamed “Phantoms of the Opera”.

If you are also involved in such a thing and find yourself not responding for weeks or months, it is better to apologise and communicate rather than to expect yourself to one day pick it up again. This may sound ridiculous, but our roleplayer was involved in a Tumblr roleplay scene dedicated to lengthy third person prose roleplays, where the common length of response was a few hundred words per response. The roleplayer was committed to multiple of these roleplays at once, which proved to be a far too involved activity that had unfortunate repercussions.

Our particular roleplaying world is far more casual and far less involved than that, and not even “Phantoms of the Opera” is as involved or as time-consuming as those threads. But we bring up that past history to illustrate that communication is important, and roleplay should never feel like an obligation. -

Third, we are well aware that there are different roleplaying styles, different levels of proficiency with language, different levels of knowledge on the historical subject  and different viewpoints. We are grateful to see that nobody has been rude about this. But! We think it is worth asking people to be understanding about this matter! Be gracious and do not be an asshole, or we will have words!

In fact, if you and someone else's roleplaying styles clash or you're not having fun, you're allowed to not interact with them but be a goddamn adult about it!

Now, let us move on to some roleplaying concepts that it is prudent and useful to know.

~

On The Difference Between In Character And Out of Character

That being said, we will emphasize a few things such as In Character and Out of Character separation! In Character means actions and words that are taken by the character, while Out of Character means anything else that is not in the context of the roleplay!

(( For example, Out of Character stuff during a roleplay is usually denoted by two parenthesis, like this! This is me, Cadmus, speaking out of character - I've indented this to make this stand out from Lannes. Other OOC stuff includes, well, anything I say on my main blog or discord or whatever. OOC communication that relates to a roleplay often involves talking about things like planning plots, chatting about characters, etc! ))

It has surely not escaped your attention that this communique is written In Character, as an imagined collaboration between heavily fictionalised parodic depictions of Marshals Soult and Lannes. However, this bulletin is curious in that it depicts us as being aware of meta elements such as this roleplay. This is not intended to be part of either of the assumed narratives that is present on our "blogs", and is thus why this is labelled as "kinda in-character".

We are also aware that some people are playing themselves or fictionalised versions of themselves. There is nothing wrong with that, and it is gratifying to see that there is more acceptance for this than there historically was. But if you are roleplaying a fictionalised version of yourself, do be mindful of keeping IC and OOC separate.

Yes! It is important to make sure that In Character and Out of Character actions and emotions are separated! Two characters may have an argument that escalates into violence, but the roleplayers behind the characters should not feel ill will towards each other. That said!

~

On the Subject of Emotional “Character Bleed”

Emotions can run high, we know, and we are not saying that you cannot be affected by roleplay! There is a concept called Character Bleed where a roleplayer and a character can be influenced by each other’s actions; a character who is very angry at someone making their roleplayer feeling a bit irritated at the other character. Bleed is not inherently positive or negative - getting a sense of catharsis from good roleplay is considered to be bleed! 

This is an informative article on the idea of Character Bleed in the context of Live Action Roleplaying. We personally advise you to be aware of the concept of bleed and to be mindful of how you’re feeling. In the case that the roleplay is feeling far too intense or upsetting, we recommend talking to your roleplay partners about what is going on and/or stepping away from the roleplay and computer.

~

On “Metagaming” or the Subject of Abusing OOC Knowledge

We also will advise that it can be awkward if Out of Character knowledge is used to make In Character decisions in a way that confers undue benefits to the character! For example, if two characters are having a private conversation about one of them having an allergy to bread, and then another character later weaponises bread because they magically know about that weakness, that is rude of the roleplayer to have their character magically know what is private information!

(( This is known as "metagaming", when out of character knowledge is used to make in character decisions. A lot of people don't like metagaming! However, I'm actually of a slightly different opinion: metagaming can be fun if used correctly - that is, to complicate your characters' lives or create opportunities - but it has to be believable. For example, Soult showing up on Lannes' blog for coincidentally funny interactions is arguably a form of metagaming. I also enjoy having my characters make stupid decisions based on in-character reasoning, while I know or suspect that those decisions will lead to entertaining results based on my OOC knowledge! ))

We recognise that due to the fast and casual nature of this roleplay, ideas of what is private and what is not may not be understood in the same way by all people! When the Duke of Montebello is answering “asks” on a “blog”, sometimes it’s implied to be via a computer somehow set up in the afterlife, sometimes it’s implied to be via handwritten letters in some kind of bulletin, and sometimes it’s an in-person communication, or maybe it’s somehow all of those at once. This is a rather confusing state of affairs!

But generally, if two characters are sending private letters to each other or have marked something as private, that information is private.

Arguably, matters of historical fact may or may not be metagaming here. We do not wish to come to an actual judgement on this,  though we are leaning towards no as l’Art de Google (as invented by Jomini) is accessible to everyone for the most part. Our roleplayer prefers to play his characters as being ill-informed on matters past their deaths, but others do choose to play their characters differently in this regard!

~

On “Godmodding” or the Subject of Writing Other People’s Characters For Them

There is another concept called "godmodding" which is when one roleplayer narrates or specifies another roleplayer's character's actions or reactions. This is usually seen as rude, but is sometimes hard to work around with certain interactions such as fighting.

This is where communicating with the other roleplayer about intentions and getting permission to narrate what the other character is doing is a polite thing to do, or else deciding together on what the end result of the interaction is in advance. Otherwise, you can describe your character making an attempt at an action that impacts another character, but leaves the other character free to react.

Example! I punch Soult in his face! But I'm not going to be rude and say that my fist automatically connects with his face!

And I will reel back most ungracefully, my hand grasping at my face. It is also a little impolite to always dodge attacks and to always have the upper hand, so we do suggest occasionally letting your characters face some failures. To interact with someone who never loses is rather irritating.

If it makes sense for your character to know something about the other player’s character based on magical and supernatural abilities, we highly advise contacting the other player and asking if your character can have that information. If they say no, respect that answer!

~

On “Powerplaying” or the Subject of Winning All The Time

Related to the above two subjects is the topic of “Powerplaying”, also colloquially described as the “Ass-Pull”. Simply, this is when a character happens to have always have an “overpowered” advantage for any situation that is not established or grounded in previous facts established about the character. 

For example, we can consider an example where a group of intrepid adventurers have been captured and locked up, and then one of them says that they secretly learned since they were age five how to explode locks with their minds! If this character was established as having a predilection for lock exploding or psychic powers, this would be more excusable, but it frankly comes across as ridiculous and as a game of one-manupship if done repeatedly.

In this casual humorous roleplay world set in an ill defined afterlife, we do have a certain amount of leeway in having interesting characteristics! Certainly, the phenomenon of “Magic Anons” where magical effects are unleashed upon people is a source of entertaining and interesting consequences, and we do not begrudge playing around and exploring this and other interesting ideas!

We merely ask that you do not view the goal of a roleplaying interaction as “winning”. There are multiple ways to “win”, and ultimately the goal here should be thought of as entertainment!

All things in moderation.

~

On Joining Existing Ongoing Conversations And Interactions

Again, we will reiterate that some conversations may be private or in between a few people only. For example, again, the ongoing “Phantoms of the Opera” is/was open for additional participants, but they were advised to ask the GM (Game Master) - your-dandy-king’s roleplayer - or our roleplayer first.

As a general rule, if you are considering joining in an existing interaction, first we will advise that you judge the tone of the interaction. Most of the interactions are lighthearted and humorous, and such lighthearted humorous interactions are generally assumed to be open for anyone to comment on. However, a serious and heartfelt conversation is most likely not conducive to additional humorous banter. 

Secondly, we’ll say that communication is really useful! So if you really want to join in something and you’re unsure, just ask!

We’ll point out that roleplays that were open to all to join were marked as “Open” roleplays, while roleplays that only involved preset participants were marked as “Closed”. This terminology has not been used in this particular roleplay scene, but it’s a suggestion if you want to be very certain about stating that a particular ongoing interaction is open or not!

~

On Interacting With Non-Roleplayers

(( This is something that I’m personally not as certain about, because maybe the consensus has changed.. Basically, when I first used to do Tumblr RP in 2013 or 2014, it used to be considered rude for non-roleplayers and roleplayers to interact. It was like the two had their own different worlds. There were posts telling non-roleplayers not to reblog roleplayer threads. Nowadays, I don’t care and you are all free to reblog my roleplay threads onto your non-roleplay blogs if you want, but maybe someone might not want their roleplay threads reblogged and it might be nice to respect that. There was also a consensus about not reblogging non-roleplay posts with roleplay commentary. I’ve seen this happen a few times here and I’ve talked to a few people about it, and I don’t know how I feel about it! I do reblog things in-character occasionally - sheep for Lannes, nice art for Soult, occasionally info about both for both - but I try to make the tags fairly generic. I guess I’m a little paranoid about the idea that someone might be weirded out by historical RPF or roleplay happening on their posts. I won’t be telling people off for this, now that I’m writing this post, and it’s probably okay if the original poster of that post follows you, but be mindful of this. And probably keep it to a comment or two if you do! Don’t do long roleplay threads on non-roleplayers’ posts!))

~

We thank you for reading this instructional bulletin on roleplay etiquette and thank you for your participation. Now get out there and be polite fucking soldiers!

THIS PROCLAMATION IS THUS SIGNED AND AUTHORISED BY–

Le Duc de Montebello

Le Duc de Dalmatie ~

I better not get any talkback abot my spelling here!!! im not going to be unprofessional and distribute official announcements with a shitton of spelling mistakes!

You are welcome for the proofreading, Montebello.

[max1461]

So it's like the feeling I get when I think about the "symmetry problem"?

Have I told you guys about my symmetry problem? Here's how it goes. In order for two things to be "objectively" distinguishable, there needs to be an asymmetry between them. Like, our universe is not mirror symmetric; some physical processes favor one chirality over the other. Thus, if we were to talk to aliens in a far away galaxy, we could still convey to them what "left" and "right" are without meeting up. Without this physical asymmetry, we wouldn't be able to do that.

More than that, in mathematics, if you want asymmetry "down the line" in a proof somewhere (etc.) it has to come from some initial asymmetry "upstream" in the definition of your object. If you have a non-Kolmogorov space with two points a, b that aren't topologically distinguishable, you can't prove any topological property of a that doesn't also hold of b and vice-versa. There is no topological property that can tell you which is which. If you select an arbitrary element g of an arbitrary group, you can only prove things about it that follow from the (universally quantified) group axioms—because there isn't any known asymmetry to distinguish it from any other arbitrary element h, so the only things you know about it are the things that always hold. But if instead you selected the identity element e, now you can prove more stuff about it, because it has a property the other elements don't have. There is something to distinguish it from the others.

So, ok, every downstream asymmetry that we observe follows from an upstream asymmetry in our definitions. But! How does this work when it comes to non-logically-necessary truths? "Obama lives on Earth" is true and "Obama lives on Mars" is false. But "where" does that asymmetry come from? Like, it's clear where the asymmetry between e and the other group elements comes from in group theory: we put it there. We declared by fiat that we were talking about an asymmetrical type of thing. Ok, cool. But imagine that you could step outside reality, and look at it from the beyond, and ask "why are the true things true and the false things false"? At some point I think you'd basically be confronted with an answer like "they just are, that's just how it is". But here you have a downstream asymmetry that doesn't emerge from any upstream asymmetry. It "just is" asymmetric. The universe "just can" distinguish truth from falsehood, there is no distinguishing property other than the distinguishability itself.

Some people will not be bothered by this. They'll just be like "ok". But to me this feels kind of... fundamentally logically impossible? It would be interesting to try and make this mathematically precise, but I don't know how. "Where does the true/false asymmetry come from?" is a question that sort of lurks in the back of my mind.

One answer that I can imagine being given to this is "there is no asymmetry, everything is true". Under this account, the reason some propositions P appear not-true is that... one of the true things is "Max's experience is as if not-P" or whatever. And "I" am the "me" subject to that truth. But this means all the other truths—the horrible truths that we can't even speak of, that we think we are safe from, are in fact... lurking. Present in the actual world, if occluded. And that makes me feel cosmic horror.

[4dkellysworld]

While practicing no thoughts

The more I do this during the day, the more I realise just how repetitive and therefore useless (I don't mean it in a negative way but more from an objective perspective, there's no point in repeating the exact same thoughts over and over) most of my Vanessa's thoughts really are, it really is a habit. I will notice she'll be thinking the exact same thing multiple times in a day but now I am aware of it and I question "hang on, what's the use in thinking that again?" and just being aware of that in itself, the thought naturally drops and silence resumes.

Another type of useless thought I observed is when I observe strangers, my Vanessa's mind will sometimes narrate her thoughts and observations like "oh she's got that cake. Is she gonna eat that now? Cos same" then I'll remind myself "what's the use in thinking that? It's none of my business, meh" and it naturally drops.

It gets easier the more you do it. I had a moment yesterday that felt so bizarre but it was just me experiencing being awareness. You know when you're watching a tv show and you yourself aren't thinking anything in your mind, you're just watching it? After my mind was quiet for a while, I felt exactly that - I was watching my surroundings in the physical world. It felt so unusual because the experience of watching the world was also coming from a position/understanding/perspective of not being part of the world I was observing in any way - the same way you know you're not part of the TV show's world when you're watching it. The 'I' observing all this was distinctly not Vanessa, I felt it! Or rather, it was an innate knowing.

I had observed my environment many times before I started letting go of the ego and it never felt like that. It felt so weird my ego snapped in cos it was a bit freaked out lol. But this is what being the pure witness is. It really is something that can only be experienced! You can read all you want but it will never accomplish what experiencing it yourself will do because this can't truly be captured accurately with words which are just limited concepts and thoughts. (Reading to understand is still a great first step though!)

This perceived and experienced knowledge is the only knowledge that does us any good. We can read everything on the subject, but it doesn’t help. Our life doesn’t change much, and it doesn’t because we don’t integrate the knowledge into our beingness through realization. Realized knowledge is nonintellectual, although the means we use are intellectual. We use our mind, we direct our mind toward the answer, but you will discover that the answer does not come from the mind. It comes from a place just behind the mind. It comes from the realm of knowingness, the realm of omniscience. By quieting the mind through stilling our thoughts, each and every one of us has access to this realm of knowingness. Then and there you realize, you make real. You know and you know that you know. - Lester Levenson, Session 6: Realization - Keys to Ultimate Freedom

[dairy-farmer]

AU where Bruce realizes Dick and Jason are grooming Tim. He realizes it while working on a case of a missing child and the perpetrator as they found out was the child's boyfriend who was way too older than them. It was purely accidental too.

He only learns it during breakfast with just Tim. They just woke up. Tim is younger in this AU than canon to make it ✨spicier✨ and also so that his coffee is even more limited that he's cranky in the mornings. Tim gets a text from Dick. Something about the text made Tim pout. Bruce wasn't really invested in knowing what it was that Dick sent but it felt like the right thing to do to his newly adopted son. To this day, Bruce still wonders if it was the right thing to do after what he has learned. Tim launches a rant about Dick and Bruce. And as it goes on, Tim accidentally reveals more than he wanted to, things he promised his brothers he would never tell Bruce.

Bruce is alarmed because some of the things Tim said had been far too familiar. Bruce couldn't tell why however. He doesn't know how to bring it up again because Tim has already changed the subject and was obviously. So Bruce resolves himself to just observing.

It was difficult for him to get answers. His sons are so careful when interacting with them. But he can't shake off the suspicion he feels. So he waits. And finally, he gets those answers.

Like how it starts, he finds those answers accidentally too. This time, it was Dick that confirmed his suspicion. Poison Ivy escaped and apparently took some pointers from Scarecrow but instead of showing their greatest fears, it shows one's object of desires. They thought it was a regular aphrodisiac. But then Dick called out Tim's name. Tim wasn't in Gotham. he's with the Titan's in San Francisco.

Later, after he has Dick sedated, Bruce hacks every tech Dick owns. His phone, his cameras, his laptop, everything. He learns things about his sons(sons, because Jason is on it too. Jason, the Red Hood, protector of children and women, who hates rapists) that night. He learns of how much they obsess over Tim. He learns of the stealth pictures they took of Tim asleep and/or naked. He learns of them planning on how to make Tim fall for them. He learns of their plans to run away and steal Tim if he ever finds out.

He knows the right thing to do would be to surrender his older sons to the authorities, to tell Tim that the brothers he knows of and loves plan to hurt him. But he didn't do any of that. He was scared of breaking up their family. When Dick wakes up the next day, with no memories of the night before, Bruce lies.

He doesn't want to break the family up but he does try to protect Tim. He avoids letting Tim and is brothers be in the same room alone at all times. As much as possible, he keeps Tim close. Sometimes, he sends Tim to the Titans whenever his sons have to stay in the Manor for extended periods of time. As much as possible, he gives Dick and Jason the missions that would take him out of Gotham for long periods of time. He accepts fewer missions that requires him to go to space without Robin. He does everything he can to protect except for giving his older sons up. He pushes for Dick and Jason in team ups with heroes their age. He'll drop hints to them of finding someone to date or setting blind dates up and framing it as help for covering their secret identities. Everything is working so well and he doesn't even have to sacrifice any of his kids

Then Tim starts getting closer to Kon. Bruce didn't know he'll one day push hard for his son to date and then marry a Super. It's been a few years since he learned of what his older sons had planned to do. His family is bigger than before. Although they had their losses over the years, such as Alfred, everything is great. Dick and Jason seems to have forgotten their feelings for Tim. Dick had even been engaged at one point. And his favorite child, Tim, is so in love. It's adorable. HE and Kon are good for each other.

...

But then Kon dies. Tim was inconsolable. He spent many days locked up in his room crying. Bruce's heart broke for his son. When things seemed to start looking up for him, another one of his son's friends died. And then Steph. Then, Cass had to leave for Hong Kong. Then Damian dies. His son was becoming even more depressed. Bruce has nightmares of one day going into his son's room and finding that his son couldn't take it anymore. But things start looking up. Tim starts to be happy again.

One day, they make plans to travel as a family. A little treat for when he graduates high school. Later that day, Darkseid attempts an invasion. Batman dies. And Bruce Wayne is nowhere to be found.

...

Unlike how it all starts, Bruce finds it out on purpose. This time it was Jason. A few days after he got back from the time stream, a few days after finding out that most of his family is back and alive and well again, Bruce gets a text from Jason. It was a picture of Tim, his hole stretched out on his older brothers' cock, taken the day after his supposed death.

-🦆

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is so good especially if you consider that despite how he acts, bruce is probably a lot more affected by cases involving children than he lets on. for bruce it's always easy to recall the shuttering horror, devastation, and loss of innocence he experienced the day his parents were killed. it's what forges his connection with both dick and jason, two children he met under horrendous circumstances, who experienced pains no child ever should. bruce had felt a kinship with them and the crying child inside his mind.

when it comes to cases involving the vulnerable...it's no different.

children are among the most vulnerable of society. they're the easiest targets and only the lowest of the low go after them because what is there to be proud of in victimizing a child who was smaller, weaker, and more naive than you?

but it happens.

the worst cases though, the absolute worst ones, were the cases where perverse animals took a child and twisted their mind, made them believe they weren't being hurt. the ones where young kids would find validation or adoration in the arms of strangers who fluffed their feathers and pretended like everything they said was profound and took advantage of the fact that their parents weren't watching them closely or that their parents didn't care.

a stranger being the one responsible used to be so rare.

the majority of bruce's cases used to be with family or extended family or close family friends doing the preying. ('oh come sit on cousin nick's lap)

but then the internet rolled out and it was like when fast food restaurants started offering toys with every meal to entice children to follow the trail of gingerbread all the way to the witch's house. kids tim's age were on the internet unsupervised and any freak could just start...talking to them. the stupid ones got caught quickly. the ones that got too eager and couldn't hide what it was they wanted enough or who tried to entrap a kid who wised onto them.

the real danger was in the smart ones. the charming ones. the attractive ones. the ones parents and the community trusted, the ones people saw dragging a child into a bush and didn't think twice because 'oh the youth pastor who hands out toothbrushes on halloween would NEVER!'. the ones little boys and little girls just beginning to blossom into sexuality giggled at because such an attractive /olderperson was giving them attention.

the online world has grown just as dangerous as the one outside. when dick and jason were kids all bruce had to do was make sure they didn't get snatched at the park but now bruce had to warn tim away about talking to strangers online, to never share photos or information about himself, to not play games that kids at school did because they were games that people he didn't know could talk to him on.

tim was a good child. sweet, obedient, he always followed the rules and listened to bruce and his big brothers.

bruce doesn't need to worry about tim. until he does.

bruce has a case with a missing child who turned out to be a child that ran away from home to go stay with his boyfriend. A boyfriend closer to dick's age which is horrible because the child was only a few months older than tim. bruce recalled the sight that had greeted him when he tracked down the house little milton glassman was being kept. the bedroom was of a man who still lived with his parents, who milton befriended in a chat room about his favorite cartoon. there had been dirty, half-eaten plates of food and tipped-over drinks littered every surface. clothes, trash, and wrappers covered the floor so thickly bruce couldn't see the carpet. the "bed" had been a bare mattress on the floor with odd stains on them. it was a dump and no place for a child like milton who'd been breathing in secondhand smoke from marijuana for a week. the conditions were terrible, milton had looked dirtier than the photo his parents had given- but he'd resisted. he'd fought against bruce taking him and ardently defended his "boyfriend" much to bruce's horror. that's when he realized that the multi-colored wrappers surrounding the bed weren't from food or snacks...they were from condoms.

the man that had talked milton into staying with him for awhile because he was feeling horny and wanted some "easy" hole like he'd bragged to his friends had left that upper-class suburban home in a stretcher.

bruce thought of that case for days afterward. he'd already paid for milton's therapist through a wayne enterprise outreach program centered on traumatized children.

but that still hadn't changed that bruce couldn't shake the desperation in milton's voice, the way his little hands had tried to pry bruce away from his rapist, the way he'd even tried to punch bruce with his little fists hurting his hand more than bruce's armor.

bruce thought of that little boy and he thought of his precious tim who was so close in age.

bruce tells himself he's just too wired up when tim says...strange things at breakfast while whining about dick. how dick had broken a promise to tim and tim was upset because tim had never broken a promise to him and that he'd always kept their 'special play times' secret like dick made him and...that just sets off an automatic alert in bruce's brain. of a young child keeping secrets from their parents for other family members. of 'special' play times.

but it's...dick. dick grayson. dick grayson who bled justice. bruce's eldest son.

but tim is...cagey about it when bruce asks and tries inquiring about what a 'special' play time was. bruce sees how his eyes dart guiltily as he tells bruce he wasn't supposed to tell him and that dick will get made at him.

mad at him? why would dick get mad at tim, a child, for not keeping a secret. children shouldn't burdened with that kind of responsability especially if its one where they keep secrets from their parents.

bruce doesn't like it. it's just...ringing too many alarms. and maybe he wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't just come off of the glass case but...tim's words and behavior makes bruce look into it. at least to clear his conscience.

but he can't find anything. tim's room is bug-free, his electronics have nothing suspicious on them beyond normal texts from dick which doesn't carry any charged energy or thinly veiled inuendos that go over tim's head.

bruce is...disquieted by the lack of evidence. it could all be in his head but...bruce's gut had never steered him wrong.

it feels wrong to harbor such thoughts about his son and with no further evidence...bruce resolves to just..wait. to wait and keep a closer eye on tim and his brothers. to carefully probe questions when tim was no longer so tense and when his brothers were alone with just bruce.

and maybe its that alertness that has him swinging in to pull dick out of a bad situation with ivy's pollen. dick is in a bad way and at first bruce is worried but then...he starts talking.

in the morning after the antidote had been administered dick didn't seem to recall anything.

but bruce did. he recalled the obscene hip thrusts and the moaned and panted calls of tim's name. he recalled having to pin down dick's hands under the straps of the gurney to stop him from masturbating to thoughts of...of bruce's youngest child.

tim is away in san francisco and that's a mercy because he didn't know what he'd have done if tim were home when dick was like..this.

the way he'd been so desperate and aching, almost animalistic in his lust...

its like the wool was pulled off from over his eyes.

while dick is strapped down and sleeping the pollen off bruce goes through his things. he violates every boundary dick had set up and looks through all his personal items. his phone, his tablet, his laptop.

and...bruce had half hoped he'd find nothing.

but all he finds is more material to incriminate dick. there are...photos on his phone. sent to tim but not to the phone number bruce knows is tim's which means....tim has a secret phone he texts dick on.

bruce, with a queasy stomach, reads messages of dick goading tim to send him pictures of his 'grown up' body. his developing tits and his flush little cunt that tim spreads open with little fingers. pictures of tim asleep, pictures of tim in the bath or the shower of dick's apartment. there's even pictures of tim straddling the horse of a merry-go-round happily waving at dick who is filming him, only that dick's camera isn't focused on his little brother's smiling face, it's zoomed in on the creamy spread thighs straddling that mechanical horse. dick's laptop is filled with even more incriminating photos of tim in his underwear and a two-piece bikini even though bruce had never approved for tim to start wearing something so...grown up. tim may have thought it was a cute bathing suit to wear to the beach but bruce knew what sick adults would think seeing him like that. seeing him like how dick clearly did.

bruce is a mixture of things. disgusted, furious, saddened, hurt.

he learns about dick AND jason's obsession with tim. he learns how they work together to provide alibi's and to reinforce each other's grooming. he learns about their plans to take tim's virginity and to take him away from bruce so they can spend all day and night "playing" with him. that's how they phrase it to tim. they tell him they're just playing when they rub their hands between his thighs or squeeze his little chest and it breaks bruce's heart to know they've progressed far enough to begin touching tim.

how long before it progressed further? they were already sexualizing tim so horribly, giving him phallic foods like ice pops and corn dogs and focusing in on his mouth. dick had a compilation almost twenty minutes long of tim licking ice cream cones.

bruce had worked enough cases like this one to know that this amount of evidence would land dick in prison, jason as well.

bruce could have dick and jason put away. he could have them submitted to a facility that would help them with these...urges.

he'd never let them come near tim again because of what he's seen them capable of doing but maybe once they got out...

no... if dick and jason got out they'd go on a list. they'd never be able to get jobs again, never be able to buy property or rent near playgrounds, schools, or routes traveled frequently by children. they'd never be able to own or purchase weapons, police would bust them for the smallest offenses when they ran their licenses or even just knock on their doors to harrass them. the neighborhood watch would print their mugshots and spread them around in every convenience store and small business. they would be ostracized by the capes community. (and they'd deserve that for what they did to his tim a part of bruce quietly whispers)

...but yet...aside from this. aside from this twisted desire for tim...they were good people. they were good heroes. it's just this one thing about them...and...and they're still his boys. the boys he took in because their lives would be so much harder if he hadn't and..

and so bruce...can't do it. god help him he can't do it.

so he resolves to create distance. he gives a little something through dick's IV to worsen the memory loss of the night and sets to formulating a plan to push them away from tim. giving tim duties directly under his supervision so jason and dick don't have a chance to be alone with him. he starts sending jason and dick farther away on necessary missions- into space when he can. bruce resolves to limit the missions that take him out of gotham because when he's out of gotham it's dick and jason who watch tim for him.

bruce hires an actual babysitter. a high school girl from a nice family bruce knows. she's a closeted lesbian so bruce feels more than assured leaving her with his young son who is confused about why dick and jason can't watch him anymore but accepts bruce's explanation about helping a teen girl with a babysitting gig to make some extra money.

bruce encourages tim to go to san francisco on the weekends, he starts asking a few of the socialities to set up dates with their daughters and his sons, he frames it to both dick and jason as if this is some necessary evil. maybe bruce even slips a few condoms into their palms when giving them handshakes as they leave to establish some subtle messaging and assuring them they wouldn't be shamed.

bruce tries his best. he does the most he can to ensure that they're all kept seperate and that tim is free from their influence. and...as much as it hurts him to know what they're really like bruce can't find it in him to want his sons punished for this. he hopes with time they'll just get over it.

tim gets a little older. the family gets a little bigger. age finally catches up with alfred. dick gets engaged with one of those socialities bruce set up a date with.

then tim comes home on the holidays holding hands with superboy and bruce finds he's not as outraged at the prospect as he thought he'd be.

it's been a while since bruce had thought of what he found in dick's possession on that day. everything seems to be looking up and bruce couldn't be more relieved.

but then kon dies. and the rest of the family starts dropping or leaving. dick's fiancee leaves him.tim starts falling into a depression and nothing bruce says seems to help. tim is inconsolable most days and bruce can't figure out what to do to make up for the gaping hole in tim from losing friends, family, and his first boyfriend.

tim grows deathly quiet and rarely leaves his room. he barely eats and its a struggle to get him to go to school. its a miracle he graduates at all.

at some point tim appeared to have...perked up and even if it was only temporary bruce could only breathe a sigh of relief. tim begins venturing out of his room again and with the impending graduation bruce decides to propose a trip with tim. a reward to the family lakehouse for graduating early.

but that never happens. because bruce is "killed" but then something isn't right with his corpse and the league saves him.

bruce recalls how tim was still nursing wounds from his recent losses and can't help but fear for how he coped with bruce's "demise".

he finds out.

from an email with a photo dated just two days after his "death" at darkseid's hands. it's of tim. on his back with dried tear tracks and red eyed looking clearly like he'd been crying only now he was arching and moaning as a cock was buried deep into his stretched, dripping cunt. bruce recognizes a tattoo on the thigh and even if he hadn't the email clearly being from jason's account was proof enough.

bruce had thought his boys had changed. he thought that he'd saved them from these...urges.

but clark arrives just moments later, expression somber and told him that there was something they needed to tell him. that days after his apparent death the last of his three sons had up and left leaving gotham to be cared for by the birds of prey and they'd had no luck locating them so far.

and then bruce remembered one of those messages dick and jason had exchanged all those years ago. about taking tim away from him and keeping him somewhere bruce would never find them. somewhere they could play with him to their heart's content with nothing to stop them.

the dread and cold seeping fear that floods bruce in that moment is indescribable.

[terrence-silver]

I was wondering… Terry stalks beloved ever since he laid eyes on her, he finds out where she works, and it turns out that she works as a sexy stripper at the nightclub. How would Terry feel about this?

---

Buys the venue.

Somehow, overnight, Terry Silver becomes owner, big boss and proprietor of a strip club downtown, and really, he undoubtedly already owns so many much bigger and infinitely more important pieces of revenue, nobody really blinks an eye. But, this place is important to him because the object of his desires is there, so of course it matters! He's certainly acquired stranger things with his seemingly endless stream of cash than a mere titty bar and something about effectively being a pimp? Oh, he might cackle and giggle privately at that one, finding it to be a good personal joke he can amuse himself with. Nobody ever even discovers he bought out some random nightclub somewhere and that his name is on a paper. But, it has to be. What better way to establish control and get close to someone who's caught his eye than literally making himself beloved's Employer and by extension, crucial in their day to day life? That's the businessman in him preforming direction action. Striking hard and striking first. No mercy. The old and original owner will sell the bar to him whether he wants to or not --- Terry Silver's offer will not be refused by anyone and in fact, he's willing to pay so well the man will be thanking him for the opportunity to do business by the end of the transaction. Because, no, no, observing beloved's shows from the sidelines just won't do. Stalking them won't do. Sending them copious amounts of money and anonymous gifts won't do either. Blending in and watching from the sidelines is not satisfactory. Him having to endure other people watching and touching something that's his won't do in any regard, not ever. There will be payback. He has to have primary authority over the place. He's plotting a vendetta way before his signature is on that document. Leering over his subject of interest comes with a steep price. Nothing's for free.

They will all suffer.

He'll make them suffer for you.

He wants be in charge, so he positions himself to be in charge.

And quickly.

Beloved might not even know or realize that that one tall, blue eyed customer always watching them with unblinking eyes, never missing a single show and who is always so concerned for them, who is friendly, protective, kind and for all intents and purposes, fairly nice, presenting in sweatshirts, zipper jackets and All-American boy next door blue jeans is also simultaneously the bigshot Mr. Moneybags who just bought the club out out of the blue. Terry relishes their ignorance. Relishes every interaction with beloved while they're clueless that he is legally top authority around here.

Suddenly, once new management in the form of a mysterious new owner rears its head, though, bouncers and the increased security detail are throwing patrons out just for looking at beloved and a barrage of broken noses, teeth and smashed heads line the streets along with signed NDA contracts and customers upon which Terry posed his revenge are having their silence bought with money, ultimatums and downright threats. They're all his enemies and they'll all experience pain. Beloved's gigs are frequently cancelled and other strippers are taking their place. The gifts increase. Their boss is showing them extremely preferential treatment, insisting on dates without taking 'no' for an answer and any all shows are for him, exclusively --- for his eyes only. Beloved becomes more of a glorified exclusive paramour than someone working for their own dollar and very soon, they slip into obscurity and rumors fly that the owner himself transferred them to their mansion somewhere up in Beverly Hills. That a Rolls Royce came to move beloved out like they're royalty. Gossip neither confirmed nor denied by the workers of the club and the whispering customers alike. Sounds like something straight out of a movie, they say. They all claim that beloved won the lottery ticket and the good life, away from the stage. That the owner's been here, among them, all along and that the whole mix-up is like a messy episode of Candid Camera or Undercover Boss. But, it's no gossip. Terry Silver wastes no time. Few know that that one ponytailed guy at the bar is also the man who took beloved away for good. That he was an insider of sorts all along. Some guy, richer than God. As connected as they come. Deadly as a snake. As mild as bread when he sets his mind to it, though.

The whole revelation sure was a shock to beloved themselves.

-"It was me,"- Terry could confess, not even hiding his glee.

-"I own the place. I bought it. For cheap change too."- He'd brag.

Oh, it was cheap change for him, alright; a Billionaire.

Hardly cheap change for anyone else who works for a living.

The only thing that offends him and provokes his vengeful ire about the whole purchase is that something that contained beloved as a package deal was quite so insultingly affordable when everything associated with them, should by all right, be priceless. But, Terry's wanted them since the first time he's seen them and he's made them his. That was his agenda and bottom line since the very beginning and now that he's acquired them...

-"But, think big and outside of the box. This shithole deserves to tank! You see, I've got the only valuable asset here."-

-"And what's that?"- Beloved might ask, confused and incredulous.

What was this for him? Some kind of weird, covert tax write-off?

Why did Terry Silver buy this place?

-"You."-

He'd answer. Not blinking.

Draping the fur coat he's bought for them around their shoulders.

-"And you're coming home with me and moving in. Now."-

[silent-dragon]

TWST Student OC Profile ~ Michalis viator Caligo

"Never have I understood those around me. Understood their obsessions." - Zenos

Michalis playlist

Personal Info

Name - Michalis viator Caligo

Age - 21

Birthday - July 23rd

Zodiac - Leo

Gender - Male

Species - Human

Height - 234cm/7ft'5in

Eye Color - Light Blue

Hair Color - Medium Blonde

Orientation - Graysexual

Family: ?? - Father+

Thanatos - Grandfather

Homeland - Malaiscester

Twist of Zenos yae Galvus from Final Fantasy XIV:Stormblood

College Info

School - Royal Sword Academy

Dorm - Crystaleon

Year - 4th

Best Subject - Swordsmanship

Other Info

Occupation - Ex-Prince,Bounty Hunter

Favorite Food - Hearty Meaty Stew

Likes - Hunting,Outdoors,Cats,Fighting Sports,Crime TV,Dragons,Strong Individuals,Long Robes,Sadism/Masochism(as a treat),Weapons,MCs,Dark Individuals,Thrill Seekers

Dislikes - Cocky Heroes,Boring/Mundane Individuals,Those that speak very loud

Unique Ability - Null/Primal Enshroud - His pact demon Nulla can fuse with him to grant him her strength and magic temporarily so long as feeds on magical energy from objects or people. The more negative energy it is the better. If Nulla isn't around to answer his call he may succumb to the primal rage hidden within that will transform him into a dragon like humanoid and a dragon named Zersor takes control.

Talents - Swordsmanship,Magitek Use,Immense Strength,Semi-Royalty Habits,Finding/Tracking People

Personality - He comes off as uninterested in most things but he is just super observant and has nothing to say. When he does speak it's usually to demand something or say poetic words that make sense sometimes. Laying beyond that soft gaze is a man who is sadistic,masochistic,bloodthirsty,and seeking something or someone to satisfy his mind. Has a strange habit of wanting to fight anyone who looks strong and finds pleasure in negative reactions like being slapped.

Bio - A Ex-Prince from a kingdom that has hid itself from the public due to actions he has done. A skilled bladesman and talented bounty hunter. It's hard to read his intentions but often gazes deep at others. He attends RSA not for the teaching but to be nearby as a student somewhere on the island he has deemed a worthy challenge but respectfully waits for them to finish their years so their battle will be the 1st bridge to the future for either of them.

[dearestones]

And Why Should You Care? (L x F! Reader)

Warnings: Slight fluff and angst. 

Anonymous Request: Hello!

Can I request L from Death note with fem!Reader who is extremely skinny and doesn’t feel her body is beautiful?

Thank you very much in advance! I love your writing, and your blog seems so friendly!

.

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“If you have a question, it’s better if you just ask it rather than spending the majority of your time fussing about it and then not saying anything.” L pressed a few keys onto his laptop, the gentle tapping of his fingers a stark contrast to the low monotone of his voice. To anyone else, he would have seemed blunt and callous, perhaps even irritated at your inner frustrations, but you knew him well enough—or fooled yourself into thinking you had—to know that he was actually quite gentle. If it were anyone else, he would have ignored you. 

You pursed your lips together and thought some more about the question you dreaded asking. Finally, when you knew that he was only a call button away from summoning Watari, you said, “It might be a stupid question.”

“If it is,” L murmured lowly, “I’ll be sure to inform you.”

Again, he tapped on his keyboard, the clacking of the keys serving as ambience. You could almost hate L at that moment. To him, most questions were probably frivolous; they were mere repetitions of the observations and patterns that he saw daily. If anything, he probably knew what you were going to ask just from your reactions alone. 

You sighed and resigned yourself to the horror of impending humiliation. “Okay… Am I pretty?”

Sometimes, you didn’t know what to expect from L. Yes, there were times when he resembled the mechanical workings of a computer—all algorithms and binary code—but there were times when you could swear that he was just as mysterious as the crimes that he solved. That is, to say, you would never know what the answer was, but L knew. 

He always knew. 

And his response? 

He continued typing, but gave you a sidelong glance at you that was more irritated rather than surprised. Figures. 

“Pretty, alongside most other adjectives, is a subjective matter.” He cocked his head to the side and brought a thumb to his lips, which he absentmindedly chewed as he continued to regard you. Dark and foreboding, his eyes bore into yours. They were wide and unblinking, but even as you stared back at him, you could barely make out the reflection within those dark pools. “I have no opinions regarding aesthetics.”

And that could have been it. 

Even before you began ingratiating yourself to L, you knew that he preferred form following function. He was practical and pragmatic, often choosing clothing that he knew would suit his sensory preferences rather than wearing outfits that could have suited him better. For him, the idea of objects that were purely made just for the novelty of looking at something good looking was far beyond his comprehension. 

Despite yourself, you prodded him. 

“Fine then, what about beautiful? Do you think I’m beautiful?” You were getting heated now, your voice slightly cracking at the end. It’s not like looks were everything, you knew that, but this was important to you. Your body… It felt like it wasn’t yours sometimes, like a thing that was only meant to be maintained and kept clean, but never to be seen as something attractive. What were you other than a vessel for a soul? A bag of meat and bones?

Pretty wasn’t everything, yes, but you craved to be acknowledged as someone who could be desired. 

Didn’t everyone else want the same to a certain extent?

This time, you caught L’s attention. For the first time in an hour, his hands abruptly hovered over the keys in uncertainty before retreating to his sides. Although his gaze was kept perfectly blank, you could see from the bright glare from the computer screen that he looked… confused. Perhaps even perturbed? You weren’t sure how to describe the expression on his face, but it was far better than the alternative: impatience. 

In a low, steady voice, he uttered your name. In the stormy turmoil of your emotions, you hesitantly responded with a soft affirmative. 

“This is a sensitive situation, yes?”

You nodded, too choked up and lost in your racing thoughts to properly respond. 

“Before I answer, I’d like you to answer a question of my own.” He raised a hand to placate you and if you looked closely, you could see that he was taking this conversation seriously. Although his voice remained the same and he still sat hunched in his seat as if he were still in work mode, the way he held himself—unnaturally rigid and alert—told you that he had heard your distress and he was going to do everything in his power to make it right. “As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Anyone could tell you that you’re beautiful. Furthermore, anyone could just as easily tell you that you are ugly. No two person’s standards are the same. So, why should you care? Anyone could say anything, so why bother listening?”

You were struck dumb by his words before you were hit by a tidal wave of indignation and the terrifying thought that L didn’t care. He probably thought that you were being stupid and emotional about this, why did you even ask—

Why did you even ask?

“It’s because it’s you!” You cried out. So startled he was at your sudden outburst, L nearly fell out of his chair, but you paid that no heed. You left the confines of your own seat to confront him, your presence rendering him dumb as you encroached on his personal space. “I don’t care about what anyone else thinks, I just want to know what you think! You’re important to me, that's why I want to know!”

L blinked. 

“Ah.”

That’s all he had to say? Ah?

The displeasure must have been more than evident on your face because he quickly began to formulate a response that would best satisfy your needs. 

“You’re not beautiful and you are not ugly. When I look at you, I see someone important to me. Aesthetics and societal standards don’t define who you are.” His hand reached out, his movements stilted and awkward, but he managed to land a feather-like touch on your shoulder. Despite his feelings towards physical touch and expressions of affection, he held on. For you, he was willing to eschew his reservations to make sure that you were all right. “Your body shape does not matter to me. Your companionship is far more valuable.”

His light hold increased in pressure for a few seconds before he abruptly let go, his hand going back to rest atop his knee. 

You were stunned into silence before you felt a smile break out onto your face. 

“Can I please focus on my work now?” His voice was still monotone, but you could hear the distinct wheedle in his voice that was the closest to whining you’ll ever hear from him. 

In response you nodded and, respecting the boundaries between the two of you, lightly rumpled his hair in affection. He made a startled humming noise, but you only grinned in response.

If L appreciated who you are, then why did other people’s opinions matter?

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

DEATH NOTE MASTERLIST

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi there :)

Not sure if you’ve answered this question before, but how do you write in third person objective without it seeming flat?

Non-Flat Third-Person Objective

There are four keys to doing third-person objective well:

1 - Make sure it's the right POV for your story.

2 - Rely on "showing" vs "telling."

3 - Take advantage of observable details.

4 - Capture the effects of unobservable sensory details.

What is Third-Person Objective

Third-person objective is third-person POV (he/she/they) where the narrator reports the events of the story without bias and without illustrating the motivations, thoughts, or internal emotional cues of the characters. The narrator (and the reader) can only know what can be observed and what the characters demonstrate through their actions and dialogue. This narrator does not have omniscience and does not know anything that happens "off the page."

Is third-person objective the right POV for your story?

The straightforward, "matter of fact" portrayal created by third-person objective works best for stories where the emphasis is more on what's happening in the character's world and less on the characters themselves. It also works well in stories where you want precise control over what the reader knows and when, such as in some horror and some mystery stories. Third-person objective may not be the best choice for stories that are partly or fully character-driven since character motivations, thoughts, and internal emotional cues can only be reported to the reader if the character shows them through their actions or dialogue, which is the trickier way to get those things across.

Showing vs Telling

"Showing" vs "Telling" is when you use observable description to illustrate something is happening rather than state it directly. "Karen parked the car" is "telling" because it's a direct statement of fact. But, "Karen maneuvered the car into the parking lot and slid into the first empty spot," is "showing" Karen actually parking the car rather than stating it directly. Since third-person objective relies heavily on what the character demonstrates through their actions, it's especially important to "show" those actions whenever possible. Otherwise, you end up with a story that sounds like a laundry list of actions.

Taking Advantage of Observable Details

Since you can't rely on the character to tell the reader what they're observing, what they think about it, or how it makes them feel (unless they communicate that information out loud to themselves or in dialogue with another character), you have to rely on the narrator to communicate observable details about the environment. You can't be inside the character's head when they mentally compare the size and emptiness of the bedroom to Grant's tomb, so the narrator has to make sure the reader has the details to come to that conclusion (or a similar one--the "Grant's tomb" comparison is subjective because it's based on personal knowledge/experience.) But they must be details that would be obvious to anyone who is standing in proximity of the character.

Capture the Effects of Observable Sensory Details

Unless the character says so out loud--again, to themselves or to another character--the narrator and reader can't know exactly what the character sees (if they're zoning in on something specific), what the character feels (are they hot? are they cold?), what the character hears (unless anyone with them would have absolutely heard it, too), what they can taste, or what they can touch. So, it's up to the narrator to report the effects of those sensory details so the reader can figure them out.

For example, if the character is staring at something, we can't know what they're staring at unless they clarify it out loud, but they could walk up to the thing and closely examine it. We can't know if the character is hot or cold, but the narrator can report beads of sweat on the character's forehead, or gooseflesh on their arms. We can't know if the character thought they heard a creak unless they say so, but the narrator can show us the character pausing, turning toward a sound, and cupping their hand over their ear to hear better. We can't know that the character is tasting bile in the back of their throat unless they say so out loud, but the narrator can tell us the character is making a sour face while clicking their tongue. We can't know the character appreciates the soft material covering a pillow, but the narrator can show us the character smoothing their hand over it and smiling.

By making sure you do all of the above, you can make sure your third-person objective POV doesn't fall flat. :)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[kebriones]

Oh i thought because you like ancient Greek mythology you would like neoclassicism. But of course it's not the same because the ancient Greek marbles were extraordinary and inspired the neoclassicism which was European but unfortunately Greeks were participated in this :(

I think the question was what I find interesting, not what I like. I like a lot of things that I don't find interesting, and lot of things I don't like catch my interest.

however, I did include neoclassicism in my answer, as partly overlapping/ being included in academic art, but not because of its rather superficial relation to ancient greek mythology or ancient greece. I really like observing the skill and knowledge it showcases, so that's why it is interesting to me. I like a lot of ancient greek art in the same way that I like all art, that is to say, sometimes because of the concept (be is something funny or unique etc) , sometimes because it's stylized in a way that I enjoy, sometimes because I admire the skill, and sometimes because it's showing me something interesting, like pottery drawings that show mundane every day things. The vast majority of art we have from anceint greece as a whole isn't like hermes of praxiteles or the doryphoros or any other masterpiece. Masterpieces were and still are few and far between, in general. Drawing and painting in europe after the rennaisance was miles ahead of ancient greek drawing and painting in terms of skill. I don't see anything particularly extraordinary about ancient greek sculpture specifically, the same type of masterpieces were made in rome later, in the rennaisance and even nowadays, whenever artists had enough resources and the overall art climate was leaning towards more realistic renderings. The artists back then and the artists now are the same type of human. It so happened that in an area with excellent climate, wealth sources such as silver mines and overseas trade and a frankly huge amount of easily available marble, as well as political and social curcumstances that nurished the arts, this type of sculpture was developed and flourished, but drawing on centuries of experience, and prior influence from the monumental works of the ancient egyptians, at the very beginning. that's all to say that I don't think it's good to have an idealised idea of ancient greek art and we need to shake that way of thinking off asap. We must go to a museum and look at all the things, not just the 2 famous, exceptional exhibits, if we want to talk about an entire culture's (or often, slightly different sub culutures included in the same overall category) artwork. That pottery piece with the funny hoplite owl means so much more to me than the aphrodite of melos, who I frankly neither like as an art piece nor care about (and that's fine because we all have our completely subjective preferences for art), and the overwhelming majority of art from minoan to hellenistic times leans more towards the first in terms of what I would call measurable skill for lack of a better word.

TL:DR That's an inexcusably long rant form my part to say that I don't think the neoclassical masterpieces were in any objective way infrerior to the masterpieces from the 5th or 4th century bce. PS There's a lot that's been said and can be said about the west's greek-excluding perception of ancient greece so i won't get into that now.

[its-a-pain-having-a-name]

We had a daydream about someone on the verge of like forcefully becoming an avatar of the eye a bit like Michael did but different and We thought why they wouldn’t want it. (Ok we did just kind of get into a flow writing this apologies if the structures bad and the writing inconsistent we were going to make it vague but then yeahhhh)

Wouldn’t want to give in to those insistent voices telling them everything about everyone in a way it seems objective and correct. Of how it felt like memories in the back of your mind but they weren’t yours they never were. It’s not right, as it says it is. You don’t want to know it, it’s not yours to know. These isn’t your knowledge. Not your memories you don’t know anything you don’t want to know. This is flawed, this isn’t your to know, it isn’t this voyeuristic thing’s to know. You don’t want to lend you eyes you don’t want to know.

All the while they hear memories and queries in their thoughts. Question and answer, give in to the overwhelm, let it in. Lend your eyes. Come, come know it all. They walked and they knew where they were the babbling noise to a crescendo, they fell to their knees at the gates, further in stood the alter. Its crushing paranoid. You don’t want to be the observer. You don’t want to be the observer, and the subject. You don’t want this forced imperial perception, reality. It’s fascist command of conformity to “truth”. You stand again it’s gibbering static too intense. Eyes swell inside your throat, up to the guard’s tower, up to the watchers palace, it wants you to take its thrown to strike terror in the long gone inmates. It wants you to be its camera, just come take this gift. You’re above them all, you know all. But no! Smash the old guards eye, bash them on its alter. Fleeing into the night ignoring every byte of knowledge, they aren’t ours they aren’t ours, we know nothing. Struggling for breathe you wretch up a few eyeballs.

You stamp them out with boots, the putrid eyes of the old watcher dripping from your fist still. The darkness envelopes you so you stare to the full moon, gleefully grin growing on your face, the idea of mania and madness which you love my bring you an alternative to the knowing. It was not your knowledge, you don’t know anything, all beings believe things differently and in that it’s their own blissfully deluded reality. you don’t know a thing.

[seventeenlovesthree]

How would you describe Koushiro's personality, this is definitely not me following up on you describing Iori in DMs :P

Hehe, as I said, that's perfectly fine, since I highly enjoy doing character (and relationship) analyses! And this is a good one, because it forces me to put my own biases aside to make a somewhat objective statement. (Potential biases will probably still be included, but I'll try my best.)

So... How would I describe Koushirou's personality?

Aside from being Digimon Adventure's smart info-slash-exposition-dump-boy who has to figure out both the plot and the potential solution to every single problem the group encounters...

He is incredibly dedicated, committed and loyal - and I think the screenshot below sums that up quite well:

He has a high sense of responsibility and, in accordance with his dedicated nature, will do whatever it takes to find answers and solutions. Whether it's for the sake of his friends or the entire world(s). Because researching, being curious and wanting to know everything about everything - those are the "things that make him himself", the true holder of the Crest of Knowledge. Thus, he is not only "the resourceful problem-solver", the group's resident computer genius and an absolute over-achiever (he's got his own freaking company by the age of 21 after all), but also very prone to overworking himself, neglecting both his physical and mental health in the process.

It also means that he goes into hyperfocus mode easily - and those are the times where he is prone to become somewhat ignorant and unable to pick up on social cues. And so he may come off as too rational, not empathetic enough or even rude - but that doesn't mean that he's always that way! He's actually quite capable at making others open up to him - like a true dad senpai. He's quite observant of his friends and their issues - at least when things are not too urgent or at stake. His great sense of senpai-ness, unfortunately, also means that he feels responsible for keeping "the kids" in check (that includes friends that are actually older than him, btw.). He enjoys (over-)explaining things (read: rambling!) and providing tech and guidance for them - but they may also exhaust him sometimes, especially when they get themselves into unnecessarily dangerous situations. After all, he may not always be able to understand or adapt to the people around him, so he'd rather turn to technology at times instead. But he's really trying.

When it comes to himself, he used to hide behind a mask of self-imposed politeness. And yes, he is a kind and caring person at heart - those who grind his gears, take his gadgets without permission or make his computer freeze know that he can get very snappy and shouty though. Especially when they act irrationally to him. Or against his very strong moral code. He may make use of his networking and hacking skills to save the world - but he wouldn't break the law for harmful reasons. He is a giver through and through, his love language is definitely "acts of service" and he would do anything for his family and friends. To the point of literally sacrificing himself.

He's very much used to keeping secrets and his emotions (mostly) to himself though - Tentomon may still be the only one who has actually ever seen him have emotional breakdowns. Because he, unfortunately, still assigns a lot of his self-worth to being able to use his computer for the sake of "good". If he cannot be "useful", he still has the tendency to panic - all by himself. And may get flustered if you praise him too much. Otherwise, he is pretty confident in the mentioned hard skills. And since he's so goal-oriented, one can easily see why he evolved into a leading figure (basically Taichi's second in command) AND the #1 Digimon research expert, who not only manages the Chosen Children network as a connector and tech-sponsor, but also does PR work and such.

(On a sidenote: The subjects of fashion and romance may not come easily to him, but once again - he is trying his best.)

Tldr; he's an awfully smart, incredibly caring and loyal bean, immensely resourceful and a natural problem solver, but there's a lot he carries on his shoulders by himself (even if he doesn't have to) and he is still pretty bad at opening up to others.

I love him a lot and if you're interested in all my other meta posts I wrote about him, feel free to check these out: [Breaking male stereotypes] [On his own] [Selfishness vs. Selflessness] [Reboot] [Physical Touch] [Boyfriend] [Appreciation Hours] [Magical Boy] [Stageplay]

[a-sleepywitch]

Tarot Tips part 3; Learning how to read (any) card!

Learning how to read cards is, in my opinion, one of the most valuable skills you can learn, not just when dealing with tarot, but pretty much any form of cartomancy that you enjoy. This can be particularly valuable for people like myself, who don't really enjoy memorising cards and keywords. I find that after a certain point in one's tarot journey, you hit a point where you can manage to read most decks without necessarily reading the manual, and so I wanted to make a post to perhaps help speed up that process!

This is going to be a lengthy post, so I apologise for this beforehand! And if this is your first time stumbling upon my blog, here's a link to my other tarot tips post! I will not be tackling reversals in this post, as I already covered it in part 2!

Part 1 | Part 2

Before getting into the nitty gritty of reading cards, I'd like to propose what I consider to be the most foundational aspect of being able to read any deck of cards: Observation. What are you looking at? What do you see? Disregard any symbolism or implications for now, just state what you objectively see in the card. For this example, I’m going to use a relatively easy-to-read card as the starting off point, that being The Fool from Rider-Waite Smith.

What do I see? There's a figure standing near the edge of a cliff, they're looking forward and slightly upwards, they're carrying a knapsack, they're holding a white flower, there's a white dog standing on its hind-legs, the sun is shining and there's mountains in the background

What does this imply? So, what does all this tell us about the card? For one thing, the Fool is headed for the edge of a cliff, but isn't actually looking down. The Fool's attention is forward, yes, but they're not actually looking where they're stepping. Similarly, the dog looks like it's about to leap off the cliff as well, so one can infer that this card likely has something to do with taking a leap of faith. Additionally, the Fool is carrying a knapsack which would imply they may not be home for a while, perhaps suggesting they're setting out on an adventure or a journey. The sun is shining and the background is yellow, with beautiful mountains to complete the idyllic scenery. It looks like a very optimistic card, but one should also remember that the card is called The Fool for a reason. Like the sun, optimism and idealism can be equally as blinding as it is warm and inviting. While this journey may require a leap of faith from The Fool, The Fool is also perhaps a bit blinded by their optimism and naivety (potentially implied by the white flower) to fully realise what they're getting themselves into.

Here’s an example of a card that I personally found more difficult when I first started reading cards due to its rather blatant christian imagery; The Hierophant.

What do I see? The Pope is sitting on a throne, adorned in a red robe and an intricate gold crown of sorts. The Hierophant is holding a golden staff in one hand while pointing up towards the sky with the other, and before him are two golden keys. In front of The Hierophant are two men, presumably dressed in a uniform.

What does this imply? As mentioned, this card can be difficult to apply to casual readings due to its very religious imagery, but breaking down the main components can help us get to the core of the card. So, what does the pope do? The pope is a spiritual leader, whose main job is to centralise its religious doctrine. Now, what does religion do? Religion provides answers that can otherwise be highly subjective, such as the meaning of life, what comes after death, and offering moral guidance. So here, we have a figure whose purpose is to not only morally guide people, but also to set the rules. The two men are uniformly dressed, essentially stripping them of their individualistic traits, suggesting this card has something to do with conformity and creating a norm. The Hierophant has handed the two men a key each, the key to living a successful life; social conformity and following the strict social order set by the person before them. Now, depending on how this card shows up in a reading and the context of the reading/other cards, this card can also be about going against conformity.

You can also use this technique in comparing different cards to get a feel for the overall storytelling. A great example of this is The Lovers and The Devil.

What do I see? In The Lovers, I see a male and a female figure, and an angelic figure between the two of them. Behind them is a mountain, a blue sky, and the sun shining from behind the angel. Behind the female figure is a fruit tree with a serpent wrapping around the tree trunk, and behind the male figure is a tree that appear to be on fire.

In The Devil, I see a male and female figure again, but this time, there's a more demonic figure between the two of them. The background is completely black, and the male and female figures are both chained to the small box that The Devil is perched on. The Female figure has a tail that seems to resemble a fruit, while the male figure has a tail that appears to be on fire. The Devil is also notably holding a torch.

What does this imply? The Lovers have pretty blatant christian imagery as well, so let's break it down the same way we did with The Hierophant. The imagery is clearly referencing the story of Adam and Eve, the two of them standing in the Garden of Eden, and Eve being enticed by the serpent to take a bite from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Lovers are essentially being presented with a choice; to either give in to their natural curiosity and human desires, or to refrain. Perhaps this suggests a choice between heart and mind, virtue and vice, compliance or action, etc. Personally, I'm not a fan of interpreting this card as being a choice between good or bad, because, realistically, very little in life is as black and white as that. Rather, this card seems to imply that there is a dualistic choice being offered. Yes, we all know that Eve taking a bite from the fruit damns her, but not taking a bite would be compliance with the status quo. Not choosing is also a choice, after all.

Now shifting our focus to The Devil, storytelling wise when compared to the Lovers, this card shows the impact of the choice made by The Lovers. The Devil is typically associated with sin and evil (which is not a particularly nuanced interpretation), but it can also be associated with sex, giving into impulses, non-conformity, eccentricity, etc. Thus, while this card can seem incredibly negative and pessimistic about the choice that's been made, it can also imply something as simple as rejection of the status quo, a rejection of complacency, a desire to fulfil your own passions and desires even if it means sacrificing your own comfort (The Garden of Eden). However, I would still like to point out the chains, which suggests that, although this choice may not be as negative as The Devil card may seem at first glance, the choice that's been made is binding, in the sense that it may have long term consequences; think of things like addiction, co-dependency or submission to something else. In rejecting conformity, one still risks falling into a path of blind submission to a different higher power or belief.

(Note that The Lovers and The Devil don’t parallel each other in all decks, so keep that in mind when deciding how you wish to interpret your particular deck!)

Now the major arcana are often considered easier due to them having very rich imagery, so I want to provide some minor arcana examples as well with various level of detail.

We'll start off with the 4 of Swords.

What do I see? A statue of sorts of a male figure laying on top of a coffin, with the shape of a sword engraved into the side of the coffin as well. The male figure appears to be resting, and on the wall above the resting statue are three swords. Next to the set of swords is a stained glass window.

What does this imply? For one thing, a lot in this card seems to implicate death in some way, not only the coffin, but also due to the stained glass window, which I intuitively interpret as a sign of this taking place in a church. The statue appears to be sleeping or resting, so combined with the theme of death, there's a sense of stagnation, a moment in time where time appears to stop for the person resting. Another thing to consider is the number four. Four is a very stable, rounded number. Think of a table that has four legs, or four pillars holding up a ceiling. While stability is good, it also causes stagnation, as a lot of people may stop themselves from venturing out of their comfort zone in fear of losing said stability. The sword suit, associated with the element of air, is generally considered to be the suit of the mind. A sword cuts through the confusion and complications, it gets straight to the point and gets stuff done. It's blunt and logical, but when you're asleep, you lack that clarity. It may feel like a mental stagnation of sorts, where things become blurry and disorienting, and you can’t quite make sense of things. On the other end; maybe this rest is needed for proper clarity once you wake up. Thus, this card can also be a sign of contemplation and much needed rest. You may feel stuck now, but rest is necessary to move forward.

Below we have the 7 of Pentacles!

What do I see? I see a person who looks a bit exhausted, appearing as if they're taking a break from work. They seem to be in the middle of harvesting something, and is currently staring at the product of their labor. Behind them is a dry patch of land and a light grey sky, but they seem to be stepping on water as well. There are seven pentacles, but only one of them has been harvested.

What does this imply? This card is all about reaping the benefits of your work, but note that this is only the beginning of that process, as there is still work to be done. Pentacles, being associated with earth, is generally viewed as the suit of materialistic and physical needs, with the pentacle representing the five senses of the human body. As such, it's common to interpret pentacle cards as being related to things like work, finances and one's home life, which all serve to fulfil one's physical needs one way or another (money from labor is what puts food on the table, after all). Another thing that I think is worth noting with this card is not only is this just the beginning of reaping the benefits, but the person is also taking a break, with an almost contemplative look on their face. When working to pursue one's own comfort, it's important to not forget to self reflect and question whether this labor is worthwhile or even fulfilling to the person. Especially when you have yet to see the fruits of your labor, it can be difficult to find motivation, but the rewards are just around the corner.

And finally, here's a significantly more minimalistic card; the 8 of Wands.

What do I see? There's a luscious landscape in the background, with a small hill and a river. At the forefront are eight wands, which appear to be launching forward (at least if you're used to reading from left right).

What does this imply? The wands are launching forward, almost as if someone's thrown them with immense force. This is an energetic, action oriented card, brimming with rapid movement towards the future. The suit of wands, which is associated with fire, is all about passion, willpower, desires, creativity, etc. This could imply that the card is all about taking action in pursuing what you truly desire. Another way to look at this card is to compare it to the seven of pentacles we saw earlier. You'll find that a lot of the imagery you'll see in the seventh card in a rider-waite smith deck has to do with perseverance, taking a moment to introspect, reassess, choose, etc. With eight being the number after seven, eight is about taking action after all that reflection. Personally, I can't help but view the seventh card as a protagonist's darkest moment right before the third act of a story kicks off, when they finally decide to take action, leading into the eighth card. Of course, this is just a way I personally read those particular cards, but my point is that you can find a lot of narrative flows in the cards that help contextualise them and intuitively read them without having to necessarily memorise what they mean!

My most important Advice; Read cards a lot. Your intuition for picking up on symbolism and implications will develop as you get used to observing, and over time, you'll just naturally pick up on how to read a card!

And finally, there is no shame in having to look up meanings. Some days, I'm tired and exhausted. Maybe I have mild brain fog that day. Maybe I'm just not in the right mood. It doesn't matter, there are days where even the most obvious cards go completely over my head and I have to look something up. There are days where I'm sitting and staring at cards and can't get anything from it, even while knowing what the cards mean. There are days my readings feel clunky and contradictory and nothing makes sense, and that's completely ok! At the end of the day, like with most special interests, hobbies and practices, we can have our off days where nothing feels right, but don't let your worst days define your overall skillset. Have some fun with it! If you're really determined to put your cards to use despite your burnout, maybe do something less serious! Start reading for your favourite fictional character or something, or ask a silly question, like how would this deck define the color blue, etc!

If you treat it less rigorously, I promise you'll have an easier time reading cards intuitively, because you're not restricting yourself or being too harsh with how you read them. Loosen up and have some fun with your deck! As usual, I'm more than happy to answer questions that I'm capable of answering, and I'd love any additional input! My asks are always open!